#lmao like. my friends and i had a little book club thing right

[murderballadeer]

goodreads is a cursed place somehow every book that i think sucks ass has a 4.5 average rating and then every book that's like a culturally relevant classic that made important contributions to its genre has like a 2.5 and a million one star reviews calling it pretentious, overrated and stupid. genuinely who are you people

[amourtoken]

ik this was on the poll but I genuinely couldn't help myself I had to write shit down or my head would explode

here's some sugar daddy Noah thoughts lol

*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*

cw: age difference, dirty talk, raw sex (pls do not), sex toys, light exhibitionism, Noah is fucking gross and that's ok, size kink, oral, dacryphylia, dom/sub, maybe dubcon if you squint but not rlly, daddy kink

♡ god be with me on this one lmao

♡ how did you end up in this situation? It's a little clichè but you were in the same club and he couldn't keep his fuckin eyes off of you. Normally you don't go to these upscale places but tonight it was in your favor, getting invited to Noah's private section gave you a chance to get away from the college friends you'd come with and actually enjoy yourself.

♡ keeping his eyes off you was one thing but his hands? Impossible.

♡ he'd instantly rested his large hand on your thigh the second you'd taken a seat next to him. Bold, but you didn't seem to mind it. He was sharing the booth with his band mates, they all seemed at least 10 years older than you but you didn't mind. you tried to conversate with them equally but the hand sliding up your thigh was making it difficult.

♡ like I said he's gross. No shame. If he wants something he's gonna get it one way or another but he at least tries to be respectful off the jump. Just when his fingers dipped under the hem of your short black dress he leaned against you to whisper something only you could hear.

"You're more than welcome to tell me no, but wanna come with me back to the hotel?"

♡ you've known the man for an hour tops, but he made you dizzy and created a swarm of butterflies in your belly so why say no? You're a few drinks in anyway, maybe prior you would've thought this was a terrible idea but the way his fingers feel caressing your thigh and how fuckin good he looks with those sleeves rolled up and all his tattoos on display? Maybe you can't resist either.

♡ this was just the first time you met, and it led you down a lovely path with him.

♡ at first it was just fucking. Meeting up whenever he was around or sending videos back and forth while he was out on tour. It escalated to him flying you out on occasion to watch him play, he'd book you the nicest hotel rooms and order you any food you needed while you were there. He started sending you flowers at home, and little gifts. His definition of a little gift is a $400 anklet with his initial on it though.

♡ after a few months he was regularly spoiling you with absolutely anything he had an excuse to. You so much as laid eyes on something for too long and he'd get it for you. He'd fly you out of the country whenever you had a break from classes and you'd enter your hotel room to see an exorbitantly expensive lingerie set next to a note from him.

"Thought you'd look perfect in this. Couldn't resist <3"

♡ his camera roll was 99% pictures of you in said expensive outfits. Bouncing between mirror selfies together where he'd have his tattooed hand wrapped around your throat from behind or on one occasion a just barely censored photo of you bent over in front of him mid backshots with his hand pressed on your back so it arches just right. (This was his lockscreen for ages, he is a freak.)

♡ his band mates have gotten used to seeing you around (and hearing you two through the walls of the shared hotel rooms), and you've grown quite fond of them as well. They see how happy you make him and can't rlly be upset even though they think he's a little over the top with how he treats you.

♡ aside from all the less than spicy details, this man *fucks*

♡ this man fucks like he absolutely hates your guts and it's *wonderful*

♡ why was his first big gift to you an anklet with his initial? So he could see it dangling over his shoulder when he had you folded in a mating press under him. He's got the filthiest mouth on him while he fucks too.

"so fuckin' pretty under me- like you were made for my dick"

"Louder. Want everyone to know who's fuckin' you so good"

"Wanna thank me for all these gifts? You can do it on your knees, baby."

"Such a dumb little slut for this cock, is it really that good? Say it."

"Awe, can't take anymore? That's too bad, you're going to."

♡ almost came untouched the first time you called him daddy. You kinda did it jokingly but after seeing his reaction you couldn't help but continue. He loves hearing it and it puts him in such a dominant headspace, it's like flipping a switch on him. Perfectly enough, when he's in that role, you fit right into a comfy subspace.

♡ he really likes instances where you're completely naked and he's not. Thinks it adds to the dynamic since you're so exposed. He lovesss running his big tattooed hands all over your body and watching you squirm and beg for some friction. He'll deny it till you're nearly in tears before giving in.

"want me to play with that pretty pussy, baby? Use your words, you know how to ask for it."

"So needy...maybe I should make you ride my thigh till you cum, see how bad you want it."

♡ buys you pretty mini skirts so he can pull you on his lap anywhere and gring against your bare ass. He'll lean his head on your shoulder and whisper filth about how you make him feel and how dirty you are for letting him dress you up like a sex doll without complaint. That's basically what you are, a little doll for him.

♡ speaking of said mini skirts, he loves when you're sat on his lap, back to his chest and head leaned back on his shoulder while he hikes your short skirt up to play with you. Makes it 100x worse better by occasionally setting his phone up to record, angled perfectly to catch the way his large fingers split your pussy open and tease your clit just right. Can't help himself but to fuck you right there, the way you squeezed around his fingers made his cock painfully hard. He caught that on video too.

"Keep making those pretty sounds, baby girl. You like when I stretch this little pussy out?"

"Say please, daddy and I'll let you have my cock."

"gonna watch this with me later? Wanna see how pretty you look split on daddy's dick?"

♡ he's bought you countless pretty sex toys and is a big fan of remote vibrators so he can play with you even when he doesn't have the chance to be there in person. Loves to FaceTime you and watch you unravel for him while he controls it. He's used it a few times in person as well, making you cum and turning it up to its highest setting, making your legs give out and you'd grab his arm for support. He'd coo about how good you're doing for him but also tease you about how sensitive you are, fat tears brimming in your eyes as you begged him to turn it down cause you couldn't handle more.

"Poor thing, so cute when you cry for me"

"You can give me another one, baby. Promise I'll fill that pussy up so fuckin' good after"

[bao3bei4]

ON THE TSHIRT METHOD TO WRITING ESSAYS IN YOUR OWN TIME: 

i have had a couple people mention to me that they would like to write essays too, but they are a little out of practice. so i thought i should gather some scattered thoughts into one place. this is not a systematic guide. i am young and inexperienced and still working out things for myself, but this is my basic process and some things that have helped me, summarized. 

my biggest single piece of advice is to write with your proverbial pussy. you are not writing for a grade so don't act like it. forget rigor, forget academic style, etc. read what you're interested in, and write following up on the threads that you're interested in. don’t sweat the details. just do you.

if you still need more advice..... here’s a long winded post. 

step zero: if you have no clue what you want to say yet 

read. and read a lot.

but be realistic. be kind to yourself. your attention is a precious resource, and it is getting eaten up by shit out of your control all the time. if you’ve had a busy day, you may still have the brain power left to read. i almost never do. lol. so make sure to carve out time on a day off, if possible. otherwise you might end up completely fried, reading the same sentence over and over, and ending up scrolling on your phone LMAO. <-- painful lesson also to this end, if you haven’t picked up a denser book in a while, start with shorter articles, especially ones written more recently. if your attention wanders, try getting a physical book instead. the most important thing is just starting things you’ll actually read.  i’ve seen a lot of people (and been that person) who was like. “oh i’m going to start with THE canonical text in a subject i’m interested in” which makes sense right? but that book is inevitably long and dense and convoluted and boring. you can come back to it later. this shouldn’t feel like a chore! 

genuinely this is the most helpful thing you can do is just. read anything. it may be difficult at first (or always), but it is still the easiest way to engage with the foremost experts from around the world and the entirety of written history on any subject you are interested in. there’s not really a substitute to this. 

note: you may say that people can and do come up with brilliant ideas independently of their access to written works. this is true! but if you are one of them, you should skip this section/post, because you already know what you want to say.  okay that was a little too facetious. let me revise: when i say that, without reading, it will be hard to come up with more complex ideas than what you have now, that isn’t necessarily pejorative. maybe your current ideas and impulses are original and meaningful and complex. if they aren’t, however, you don’t have to resign yourself to it.  your experiences in real life are the most valuable thing you can bring to the table, but it can be very difficult to articulate and contextualize them without community—whether that be irl, or the simple textual company of other writers. you can let other people help you and teach you.  basically, this is a long winded way of saying something extremely simple: reading is not the only way to gain knowledge, or even the best. but it is an extremely consistent and relatively egalitarian way.** **scihub and libgen and sometimes the public library are your friends. (my local library’s book coverage is spotty) who cares about piracy. LMAO. 

you may surprise yourself by how nicely you fall into little spirals. you read one thing. and you are enamored with the way the author approaches their subject. so you end up reading everything else they’ve written, and then you start on the authors they list that inspire them in their interviews. maybe you just read one article that’s a little dry but it cites something else that seems far more interesting. read that next. and so on. 

if you are struggling to read that’s okay. you have options. start a book club (or just get a friend who also wants to read more). if that sounds like too much work, pick a friend to keep updated on all your new facts. you just want to get used to reading something, and telling someone your favorite parts again. skim books. skip the boring parts. drop them entirely and find a more interesting one. no one’s going to quiz you. this is for your own enjoyment. 

also important here: read books that make you want to write. sometimes this is because the methods and/or prose of the author are so exciting, you want to do something just like that. sometimes it’s because the content is so exciting, you want to say something about that too. sometimes they speak so powerfully to your own life, you want to tell people this is me!! i see this!! there are books i just enjoy reading, sure, and i do read them. but you know how, like, a good movie makes you want to tell stories too? good theory should do that too, in my opinion. 

step one: you have some ideas now. 

these ideas don’t have to be set in stone. but you should have an idea now of what you might talk about. personally, for me, i have two interconnected types of essay ideas. 

interventions. this is like [tumblr voice] Why Is Nobody Talking About This. i see some sort of hole. maybe i know how to fill it, maybe i don’t. 

free associations. basically i read one thing, or some analysis of one thing. and then it reminded me of another thing. and i’m like. i want to tease apart their connections, their similarities, and their differences. 

there are more types of ideas, i’m sure. but these are the ones i consistently have. with me, the second kind is more common. very rarely do i find that my thoughts are that original. rather, i’ve found that one of my strengths as a writer is being able to make connections that other people haven’t made, or haven’t made in depth before. IN MY OPINION. 

so i find it quite flexible. maybe i watch a movie, and it reminds me of my own life, because i think two women in the movie could be sad queer freaks. and i’m a sad queer freak. or it could be that i think scum villain could be analyzed through the framework of freudian psychoanalysis. you get the idea. 

at this stage of the process, i don’t have a thesis, necessarily. but i have a couple phrases i’m drawn to. i have a bullet point or two. i have vibes. 

to use an example from this blog, one of my friends hui once mentioned that that one fan image was going around again. we were going ughhh it’s victorian not chinese! together and they said “you should write a meta on it.” i wasn’t sure quite yet what i had to say. but i knew a couple things. 

this is, incidentally, because i had done some research into chinoiserie before, because i had cited the zuroski book for a paper i had to write for an english class some years before on pride and prejudice and its use of descriptions of material culture, an essay that in turn was inspired by my random yet deeply felt conviction that jane austen hated me personally and wanted to kill me.  this is why i encourage reading a lot. i think. 

to work on this stage, make lists. lots of them. i have a .txt file where i keep every essay idea i have. a lot of them are a sentence. or they're lists of books or theorists i think i could make something out of. or they're theses that feel true, but i’m not sure why yet. 

it took me a while to get to this point. just like with writing fic, there was a period when i first started where i was like. i only have one idea. i’m going to write it, and then i’m never going to write again. and then i had just one more idea. after a while. eventually you will find you have so many ideas and the world is full of possibilities. it’s a muscle you have to flex. like reading. and telling people about what you’re reading. 

actually, i feel like there was a step 0.5 here that i completely skipped. 

step zero point five that i skipped: how to generate ideas

my very truly complete “first time writing something semi-academic that was original” (with a loose definition of the word original) was literally just me reading literary criticism of one book, and saying “i think this author’s thoughts can be applied to this other book” and found some textual evidence that supported that the process could be replicated. 

this is like, writing with training wheels on. eventually i got better at it (see aforementioned chinoiserie essay. i hope you agree.). but that was a good place to start for me. it made the proverbial blank page less intimidating, knowing i had a scaffolding. 

i suggest trying this. see how it goes for you. read around until you find some piece of criticism, or just some theory about how something works, that you like. and using your newfound hammer, go look for some nails. 

note: i know this expression is meant to like. be a negative thing. but you do have to start somewhere. it’s okay if it sucks. it’s just for your practice and your enjoyment. 

be cautious of stances. weak writing (in my OPINIONNNN) tries to unilaterally defend or condemn a behavior. what you need to do is treat your writing as a bit. and then you need to run with it. you need to take it farther than what is reasonable. if this bit is truly actually deeply true, then what does it mean about yourself? it’s like using a new set of pronouns as a joke or something. you know what i mean? (that was an example of what i’m trying to communicate here)

what else is key to look out for... look for oppositional pairs or tensions. look for perverse incentives and vicious circles. look for embarrassing ideas. that is, what would be extremely embarrassing if it was true? (or to admit that it was true) you may go—tshirt, here you’re just describing things that are sexy. yes, exactly, that’s the point. you want things that thrill. 

just keep reading and making notes until everything echoes with something else. now you’re ready for step two. 

step two: refine your ideas further. 

let me do this by demonstration. once more extending my earlier example of my chinoiserie essay, i knew that i really wanted to take zuroski’s points and basically... steal them. this is called “citation,” i guess. but i thought the following insights were useful to me: 

british women were invested in chinese material objects 

they incorporated them into their own subjectivity

past a certain point, they no longer “consumed” these signifiers, but these signifers became theirs 

critique of one was able to stand in for critique of the other

and from being on fandom twitter, i already had the following insights: 

people deliberately blurred the lines between china and england when it came to fans and tea

people also liked talking about victorian modesty when it came to china 

so it seemed like victorian england and china had a privileged relationship, in a lot of people’s minds in fandom. 

so it didn’t really seem a stretch to say... how can we look at one history, and apply it to our present? 

it was a bit of the combo of the two: i saw something i didn’t see people were talking about, and it reminded me of something else i’d read before. 

something that helps me a lot is tweeting about my essay ideas. if you have me on my private account, you already know this. it forces me to explain myself to someone who doesn’t know what i’m talking about in a very succinct way. oftentimes, i tweet something out while i’m brainstorming, and then i steal the phrasing back into my essay. see? tweets can be writing too. 

this is microdosing on step zero’s “read something and practice telling a friend about it.” now you’re writing something and telling a friend about it. 

step three: okay now you can like. open a google doc 

make an outline. i know i know i know. i’m sorry. you can start just barfing thoughts if you want, but eventually everything that was on the top of your head will be out. and now you can start thinking about structure. the reason the outline is important is because it makes clear the logical progression from one idea to the next. 

i know i usually bounce around in my writing (a tendency which has been magnified here because this is so casual LMAO), but i always want to make sure that my points are substantiated. if we want to talk about how a causes b, we should prove a, we should prove the causal link, and only then can we infer b, for instance. it doesn’t really matter what order that happens in (or even that we set about it that way), but the more complicated your idea is, the longer checklist you need. it’s just a checklist. that’s all. 

as you start writing, you’ll probably need to read some more. you’re going to want to say something you think is true, but you’re going to realize that you haven’t proved it (or you can’t). go look to see if someone else has proved it. 

maybe you’re right. add that evidence in. maybe you’re wrong. now your essay has a new direction. there is a living thing beneath you. actually, on that idea— 

i tend to structure my outlines (if i’m not sure yet what my point is) by pasting a bunch of quotes in a document, and reorganizing them until they make sense, they seem to flow. and then i start explaining why, until i realized i have begun to walk off in a new direction. always embrace that new direction. eventually you will find that you have not been taking twists and turns, but actually you were dizzily walking along a straight path. (unless you have been unfocused and you are trying to say too many things at once. ask a friend to read your essay if you’re not sure which is the case.) 

quotes are the smallest unit of your analysis. work with evidence. or, at least, i do. it makes writing an essay like solving a mystery. the idea of just spontaneously generating something new fills me with terror. rather, i want to autopsy something, trace its steps, and then discover how it came to be dead. this may not be true for you. but it’s true for meeeee and this is my post. 

tl;dr

0. read something and tell someone about it/post it out

0.5. come up with a bit and run with it

1. think "why is no one talking about this" or start free associating

2. come up with weird connections and tell someone about it/post it out

3. collect all of your posts and ideas into a gdoc and organize them.

anyway i like reading posts like this because i’m incredibly nosy. so i tried to write out the sort of thing i like to read from other people. i don’t suggest you actually try to replicate it (if anyone would even want to.) practically basically i just encourage you to try any single part of this that you think was interesting or relatable or helpful. personally, i suggest reading a book and posting your favorite lines from it. if you do this a couple times, i think you will find the seeds of an essay waiting for you in your own posts. 

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 12th

Medical Play, Papa Emeritus III x Reader

Masterlist

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Medical play; GN!Reader; dom!Reader?; cringey Terzo; subby!Terzo; established relationship; latex kink?; glove kink; hand job; mild praise; anal fingering; taunting; mild degradation; mild humiliation; power kink; mild edging; cum eating; cumswap; reads like an 80s porno; awful medical terminology, I'm sorry to all the doctors and nurses reading this lmao;

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals

🔞 MDNI 🔞

The graveyard shift was always the worst - or rather, the slowest. As most of the Siblings were asleep in the dead of the night, you had free roam of the medical centre of the Ministry. Not that there was ever much to see given that it was hardly decorated and filled to the brim with medicine and multiple medical journals, all of which you’d perused on your off or slow hours.

Thankfully, your job was always made easier by the fact that no one in the Ministry was stupid enough to get themselves into a lot of trouble. Even during the day, the worst injury you’d seen was someone’s ritual or blood play wounds get infected, but thankfully it was easy enough to sort out. It was the most difficult thing, becoming a doctor and going through university - even getting a job within the Ministry itself was a difficult task. The job itself though - paid to read books mostly.

Though, it was different that night. Your socked feet were up on your desk and a book was in your lap. You were, of course, reading what your friends liked to call your “dirty girl books”, when there was a gentle knock at the door. “Come in!” You called. Immediately you brought your feet off the desk and put your bookmark in the book, hiding it from the view of your guest. You still didn’t want to appear unprofessional, even though there was no one around… well, almost no one.

The door opened to reveal a smaller man, black hair and wrinkles. You recognised him instantly. “Good morning, Papa.” You said, standing to your feet out of respect.

“Ah, hello, doctor. I hope I am not disturbing you while you are busy?” Terzo stood there in the doorway uncharacteristically awkward in his demeanour and make up chipping from his face. He looked tired.

You looked at the clock: four o’clock. It was so early. “I always have time for you, Papa. How can I help you?”

“Ah, it is a little embarrassing, doctor.”

“Whatever it is I’m here to help, judgment-free.”

This was the moment you’d been waiting for. The thing is - you weren’t Terzo’s personal physician. Given the nature of their job and the importance of their status, each of the Papas had their own personal physicians at their beck and call all times of the day and night. You weren’t part of that club, rather, dealing with the rest of the Ministry including the Ghouls and the Clergy. You may not have been Terzo’s physician, but you were his partner… so to speak. This whole arrangement had been set up and pre-decided weeks ago, and when he had time, he’d drop in to see you with some “medical emergency” and you would be the doctor to “treat him”. You would pretend not to know each other which was the most crucial part of the whole scene. So now you were just waiting for Terzo to say his next line, not that you knew what his next line was.

“Well you see, I am an old man. And my, how do you say? My dick is broken.”

This fucking guy.

“Okay, in what way?”

“It doesn’t stand for very long. It grows tired very quickly, like me. Or my fratello.”

Please don’t compare your penis to your brothers.

“R-right.” You blinked at him a few times, not quite expecting him to be so forthcoming with his “issue” - or even quite so chaotic. “Please come and take a seat on the bench for me.” He did as you instructed. “Would you mind unbuttoning your shirt, Papa?”

“Ah, doctor, that is the other thing. My fingers are tired today, too. I am afraid they can’t unbutton anything.”

Of course they can’t.

He looked at you and gave you the biggest shit-eating grin, clearly eating up his role. Despite knowing Terzo as intimately as you did for a number of years, he still managed to find ways to fluster you.

You moved forward, trying your best not to smile and keep it “professional”, but the excitement within him was simply radiating off of him and infecting you. He was, for lack of a better term, buzzing with it. Your fingers carefully began to unbutton his white shirt and avoiding his gaze, but you could feel it on you. His mischievous eyes studying you and your expression so intently you were sure it would leave a mark.

Once his incredibly hairy chest was completely exposed to you, you took the stethoscope from around your neck and set yourself up to use it. “This may be a little cold.” You warned before placing the bell over his heart. Of course, this wasn’t a real check up, so it didn’t matter what you heard. In fact, you were only doing this for his benefit because you knew he’d want it.

“Can you hear that, doctor?” He asked.

“There’s nothing unusual.”

“But my heart, you should hear that it beats only for you.”

This. Fucking. Guy.

It took everything in you not to blush or react to his words in any way. “Okay, I think we should do a few tests just to make sure everything’s okay. Would you mind removing your pants, Papa?”

You took a step back and allowed Terzo to stand from the bench and do as you’d asked. You looked away to feign privacy, despite the fact that you’d been up close and personal with that part of his body for a long while. But out the corner of your eye, you noticed that the little shit had decided to forgo underwear. How you were surprised was a mystery unto itself.

“You know, doctor, usually I buy ladies dinner before I let them undress me in their offices.” He teased.

“Usually ladies don’t examine you for erectile dysfunction.” You taunted back. “Are you ready, Papa?”

“Of course, doctor. I await your professional opinion.” He plonked himself back up on the bed and leant back confidently, completely exposing himself to you. He was enjoying this game a little too much for your liking. You began prepping your hands, first sanitizing them then putting latex gloves on to keep up appearances. When you moved back over to him, you noticed that his mismatched eyes were heavily trained on you, only moving when you did and fixating on your gloved hands. Time to bullshit your way through this. “To make sure you can maintain a healthy erection, we need to give you one first. Is this normally something you have a problem with?”

“Not at all. Usually my partner is able to get me up just by looking at me.”

You nodded. “So you won’t need any help from me today, then?”

“On the contrary, doctor. My partner is not here, and so I am having trouble. Please take care of me.”

He gave you the best doe eyes he could muster knowing that it would work on you because it usually did. And so, you nodded, and poured some of the office’s lubricant onto your hand. “This will be cold.” You warned him.

As soon as your lubed hand made contact he hissed and jumped, perhaps making more of a show of it than he ought to. Your hand began to work away at his flaccid length, which was filling up with blood a lot quicker than you anticipated. With each tight stroke of your hand, Terzo’s hips bucked slightly. He wasn’t quite ready or sensitive enough for it to feel mind-numbingly good, but the little breaths and whimpers he was releasing was proof enough that it was working. One of his own gloved hands came up to your arm and gripped onto it, trying to keep himself grounded. The other hand grasped onto the bench with as much force as he could.

You tightened your grip and began focusing entirely on the head of his cock, making sure he was feeling as much pleasure as possible. The feeling of the lubed latex on his head had his mind reeling. His eyes were tightly shut, his bottom lip had been taken into his mouth and trapped between his teeth. He was trying so hard to keep up the pretense but he was obviously feeling good. You decided to be a bitch. “Tell me, Papa, what do you usually do to keep the erection?”

“What?” He asked, opening his eyes and coming to his senses.

“Well, this is a new problem, isn’t it? What usually works? What usually feels good?”

Terzo, whom you had never seen so flustered before, gulped and took in a sharp inhale before continuing. “M-my partner usually uses their mouth.”

“Where?”

“What?”

“Where does their mouth go?”

“M-my cock and sometimes my a-asshole.”

You moved your other hand to his taint and then to the rim of his hole. “Here?”

“Yes! Merda! There!”

Then, all of a sudden, you removed all of your hands and took a step back. “You seem to be healthy, Papa. I think maybe you’re just stressed.”

His eyes were wide and he couldn’t quite believe you’d done that. “What?”

“Lack of sleep can also be a cause of dysfunction. Do you get enough sleep?”

“Yes. Doctor, I- I am confused.”

“What with?”

“Well, I… you… stopped.”

“Of course, Papa. You needed help maintaining an erection, we’ve since discovered that you don’t struggle with that regularly, and you’re certainly not now.”

“You can’t just leave me like this.” He gestured to his now angrily erect cock before muttering something in Italian, clearly irritated by you.

“Maybe if you were to ask nicely, I might help you out.”

Terzo hesitated for a second, clearly wanting to say something but not wanting to either be so desperate that he begs for it, but also being to embarrassed to say anything. He was perhaps the filthiest person you knew, never shy or bashful, but apparently when his partner had the upper hand he was a total mess.

“Per favore.”

“Not good enough. Try again.”

“Will you… help me out?”

“Sure, what with?”

“Porca puttana! Make me cum… please, Doctor.”

He almost forgot himself.

You stood and sauntered back over to him applying more lube to your gloved hand as you passed that shelf. “Good boy.” You told him with a teasing smile, wrapping his cock back up in your hand and continuing exactly where you left off. “Nothing wrong with you now, is there? You’re keeping it up well enough, aren’t you?”

The same hand that was gripping onto the bed had moved up onto your shoulder, a gorilla grip on it. His eyes were open but focused on the wall, glazed over a little in the sheer pleasure your hand was providing. Your other hand went straight back to the rim and began rubbing over it again. His noises got louder when you did, hips having a mind of their own. The position wasn’t great so you got him to sit back, keeping him width-ways on the bench with his cheeks on the edge and his feet propped up and legs spread. You cursed your boss for giving you the wrong chair to use for today, what you would have killed to use the gynecology chair with the stirrups. It would have humiliated him so much to be so exposed. He would have loved it. Though he looked like such a whore in this position, you thought perhaps this was more humiliating.

With more lube on your hands, one went back to his head, and the other started pushing inside his hole. His mouth dropped open in a perfect ‘O’ and his brow furrowed, the pleasure almost overwhelming him. “We do have to make sure all parts of you are working correctly, hm? Especially this nice little button in here.”

“Cazzo!”

Only your pinkie was inside him at the moment. You didn’t want to hurt him and as he hadn’t pre-stretched himself out, you thought it was best to take your time. You wiggled it around a little, trying to make his hole fit two of your better, and kept at it until he was lose enough. Eventually, your index and middle fingers were able to fit inside him, and so you went in search of that button you mentioned. “Touch your cock for me.” You instructed. Like the obedient whore he was today, he did as you asked, wrapping his own hand around the head and moving quickly. “Ah-ah.” You scolded. “Slow down.”

“But-”

“Slow!”

His hand gradually put the breaks on, dropping to an almost torturous level. You could see how much it pained him. Given the fluttering of his hole around your two fingers, you could tell he was already too close. He was too overwhelmed. He needed that sweet release that you were refusing to give him. Why? Why wouldn’t you just make him cum? Why would you drag it out as much as you did? He couldn’t fathom it. But he was so desperate to finish he couldn’t ask you to stop.

This was a completely different man in front of you. The head of the Satanic Church was riding your fingers in your office as if he didn’t hold all of the power. Because right now he didn’t. You did. In his desperate need to cum, he was obeying your orders down to the letter. He was whining and writhing for you and only you. No one else got to see him like this: his entire body on fire and chasing a release he’d practically been begging for since he entered the medical ward, drool dripping from the corner of his mouth where it had opened so wide, and loud moans were spilling out with it. His pants completely removed and his white shirt unbuttoned completely. He was positively sinful right now - a proper Babylonian whore giving himself to another for his own pleasure. And oh how he sang for you when you reached that spot. How he stopped breathing when you finally hit it. How expletives poured from his lips to cope with the devastating bliss your fingers were giving him. Choruses of “yes!” and “right there!” and “don’t stop!” providing him comfort while you had your way with him. His own hand matched yours and as you got faster, so did he. He was so close. He could almost taste the sweet release that was on its way to him.

It was when your hands came up to play with his balls he finally tipped over the edge. Cum spurted from his cock and pooled over his hairy stomach, and even reaching up his chest in the intensity of the orgasm he was experiencing. His toes curled and his body seized up. You were, the whole time, talking him through it. “That’s it,” you told him, “give it all to me, Papa. Give me everything. Such a good boy.”

When you were sure he was fine, you gently removed yourself from inside him and bent forward, your tongue running through his spend and lapping it up into your mouth, keeping it there. You looked up at him and saw his eyes were ablaze with something. More lust? Frustration that you were doing something so sexy and he was too tired to do anything about it? You weren’t entirely sure. But the moan he released when you kissed him, swapping his cum from your mouth to his was enough to tell you all was forgiven… at least for now.

Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

[your-mommy-ems]

✧ Emma ✧ she/her ✧ minor ✧ books and food

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hii! Welcome to my blog:

Basic Info:

✧ Emma/Ems ✧ she/her ✧ Minor - birthday Jan 12 ✧ Capricorn ✧ INTJ ✧ Australian ✧ Ferrari girl <3 ✧ I will defend my babies warnette and Evajacks until i die. ✧ i am a firm believer in sarcasm. ✧ if you see me posting about writing its cause I have no motivation. I post about it, but don't necessarily do it ✧ I'm an introvert but will absolutely come out of my shell and become and extrovert when you get to know me

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Things I love

✧ Books -> [series] The inheritance games, acotar, shatter me, the folk of the air, the prison healer, caraval, ouabh, dance of theives, divine rivals (waiting for the next one to come out), the lunar chronicles, the red queen, when in rome series, the naturals, six of crows.

✧ Books -> [standalone] Better than the movies, if he had been with me, the do over (basically anything by lynn painter), the cheat sheet, powerless, the summer of broken rules and a lot more I cannot remember cause I panicked :)

✧ Music -> Taylor swift, Gracie abrams, Tate McRea, a little of Lana Del Rey, Chase Atlantic, Artic Monkeys, Guns and Roses, Little mix, Conan Gray. My music is allllll over the place lmao.

✧ Christmas <3333

✧ Rain <3

✧ Movies -> Now you see me 1 & 2, knives out 1 & 2, oceans 8, 11, 12, & 13, Mamma Mia, the adam project, enola holmes, red notice and basically and chick flick

✧ Tv shows -> B99, Friends, babysitter's club, alexa and katie, fuller house,

✧ art -> I paint, sketch, and draw, whenever I feel like it. I mostly draw. I want to learn how to use gouache and oils paints.

✧ other -> baking and cooking :)

✧ making moodboards -> here is my master list

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

More Info

✧ my dream life is to runaway to paris or new york and open up a bookstore/cafe/flower shop. (and to be the rich hot aunt the everyone loves)

✧ I will most likely put 'lmao', 'lol', <3, :) at the end or in every sentence I can - just cause I want to talk to you but I don't want to come on too strong lmao (see right there - perfect example)

✧ I want to travel when I'm older! [places] -> London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Sweden, Germany, New York, Bahamas, Japan, Korea, and a bunch more!

✧ I spend an unhealthy amount of time on Pinterest and Tumblr.

✧ I'm basically friendless if you exclude online friends. So if we're moots you're my best friend, no take backs

✧ Also I love getting new book, show, movie, music recs!

✧ My Wattpad -> My Pinterest

✧ If you want to know anymore just ask! Seriously, I have like zero friends in real life, so you can spam me anytime. I love talking to new people.

✧ special moots: [if you want to be added or removed just ask!] -> @blythexparker, @kitsohana, @myster3y, @stvrlighhttt, @skeelly, @my-mind-is-frozen, @atwtmvftvtvsgavralpsss, @bookscorpion73, @blocked-zombieartist, @urgirlnextdoorr, @nqds, @reminiscentreader, @crenna, @someones-name-inserted-here, @banilikesfictionalpeople, @yourinterruptingmyreading, @mqstermindswift, @seaveysoceaneyes <3

✧my 100 followers event

✧ this is a safe space for everyone!! ↳ Dni - if you're a racist, homophobe, sexist, pedos, ect..

lots of love

Emma <3

┊ ➶ ｡°.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Ps: this was also inspired by @stvrlighhttt, hehe ik you said u didn't want credit but i think u deserve it mwah <3

[mermaidsirennikita]

Hi, first of all, I'm a huge fan, you're blog is like the only reason I still open the Tumblr app sometimes

I was wondering if you had any historical recs for enemies to lovers where the guy actually likes her from the beginning? Basically, I'm just craving a hero who Pines™️ but fronts really hard about being unaffected but just comes off somewhat pathetic?? This sounds psychopathic but there's just something about a man in emotional painnnn esp if the chick's a little flighty/belligerent

(This craving brought to you by the excellent How to End A Love Story by Yulin Kuang btw)

Much thankssss

Oh my gosh, thank you! I'm so glad I can entertain lol

Also, I LOVED How to End a Love Story, I'm basically forcing my friends into a makeshift book club over it lol

And that's definitely not pyschopathic, I love emotional pain from heroes especially. Let the men weep!!

Okay so, if you're in the mood for something lighter, The Wrong Marquess by Vivienne Lorret could be a good bet! The hero and heroine do snipe at each other at the beginning, but he fairly quickly realizes that he's actually REALLY into her and tries to act unaffected lol. He's her new friend's big brother and he thinks she's a bad influence, while she's on the verge of spinsterhood while her childhood friend, who basically said he'd marry her someday, continues to sow his wild oats.

This is one of those where I vividly remember a scene, in this case a moment when the hero is watching her eat ice cream and wants to lick her bowl (not a euphemism) after she's done because of the indirect contact with her lips lmao

Of course, The Duke Gets Even by Joanna Shupe is ICONICALLY this. You've probably read it, but this is the last book in the series (it's technically a standalone, though I'd recommend all--and if you wanna read all, there is a really great buildup to these two). Nellie and Lockwood clearly dislike each other a LOT, and he courts her friends in the previous books because he's a cash poor duke who needs to marry a rich American heiress. Nellie is an American heiress, but she's new money and runs rather wild and tells all her friends not to talk to him.

And it turns out... It's because.... they had a bit of a Moment before the events of the series started... And neither of them, ESPECIALLY him is over it. He falls really hard, but the beginning scenes when he's desperately trying to maintain his bite with her (before he literally bites her tits during sex) are soooo good.

A Daring Pursuit by Kate Bateman is a good bet for this one! The hero and heroine are from warring families (like, not literally at war, but they hate each other on a less intense level) and he especially is clearly SO into her. But they snark and snipe... all the way into a physical relationship wherein he just HAS to teach her how good sex can be, right? She needs to know. It's Important.

Also, he takes her from behind in the woods at one point, and there is a bear.

The Duke Who Loved Me by Lydia Lloyd is a really fun take on this. Again, warring families because of a scandal that happened decades ago. The hero and heroine meet at a party and have a Moment before they realize who one another is. Years later, they meet because his father's will stipulates that he has to deliver like... an inheritance of sorts... to this woman from his father's past in order to inherit properly and ensure Other Big Plot Things. The heroine is the mysterious woman's niece, so they set off to find her together. He's SOOO into her, and SOOOO fucked up about it. And their attraction to each other is iNTENSE. Like, he has to just leave the room and jerk it at one point lmao

Sarah MacLean loves this. A Rogue By Any Other Name has a hero who tricks his childhood friend into marry him, which means she hates his ass, and he acts like he doesn't give a fuck but is also like "my soul just left my body" after they have sex for the first time lmao.

If you haven't read Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath lol... One thing Jack is slamming the door in Olivia's face... The next he's carrying her to bed and caressing a lock of hair out of her face.... Not that he wants her to know!

It Happened One Autumn by Lisa Kleypas, OF COURSE. I also feel like Married by Morning has this, but especially if you read the Hathaways in order. The heroine (Catherine, a governess) is introduced in book 2, and she has a super combative relationship with Leo (the hero, her boss). He's constantly teasing her, getting under her skin, acting like She's The Worst. Until he starts wondering what she would look like in JUST her glasses.

I'd also recommend trying The Duke in Question by Amalie Howard for this. The hero is friends with the heroine's brother, and they have this cat and mouse thing (and end up having sex with her bent over and braced against a tree for her first time... to be fair she was into it and he didn't know).

[sugudoe]

hi hi! hope you’re doing absolutely amazingly. if u want, here are characteristics for a matchmake. i fully trust ur judgement and i may have given way more information than you needed but i got a little nervous oops.

- i asked my friends to describe in in three words (cause i don’t know how to describe myself realistically lmao) and i got “confident, loyal, hardworking”

- i’m 5’9 (technically 5’9.5 but i don’t say 5’10 cause men have small egos)

- socially anxious in the way that i’m super quiet at first cause i think everyone will hate me but then u spend too much time with me and i’m really annoying

- pretty active, i play lacrosse and just ran my first half marathon

- an intj (debatably. i switch between p and j too often)

- studying global affairs and astrophysics cause i’m indecisive

- could talk someone’s ear off about: ethel cain lore, philosophy/ ethics in classical literature, capitalism’s effect on mass media

- i would say my humor is dry and sarcastic or self-deprecating lmao

- my fav book ever is frankenstein

- i’m the photographer of the group cause i love taking pictures of my friends. it makes me happy seeing them happy.

anyways, ur super cool for doing this for people. enjoy ur day/night/morning/afternoon or whatever time it is! much love <3

hii!! thank you, i really adore doing the matchings, i’m lacking because of, again, dealing with psychological stuff, so i’m sorry i took so long.

•⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝑡𝑜𝑗𝑖 ៹ ༉‧₊˚

fushiguro toji would never admit how happily he became after your inevitable meeting by the hands of fate and destiny. he would never spoke of how grateful he was that you appeared at the right time, bringing calmness to his turbulent life. but, the eyes never lie, and his had always been so expressive when it came to you.

you first was introduced by his moving to your apartment complex. single dad, matching a scowl and wild hair with his baby, every lady was swooning at him and there you were, walking with your head on your books and barely paying attention to anything around you.

“what are you reading?” a little voice startled you on the elevator. taking your eyes off the novel, you eyed the little toddler and his dad.

“it’s frankenstein, it’s about a doctor and his marvelous and creepy creation.” you answer excited.

“can i read it?” the boy asks, and that’s when his dad intertwines.

“megs, stop bothering them.” the dad had a rough and gentle voice, sending chills down your spine.

“it’s alright.” you say. “he can borrow this, i have read it a million times already.” with that, you leave the book with the boy and departs to your destiny.

you regretted instantly, fearing the book might be too much for a small child, or that he might rip it off to shreds. or maybe his dad, after all you did not ask for permission.

yet, two weeks later, rapid knocks on your door has you sprinting towards it, being met with the extremely tall broad figure of your neighbor and his little copy sitting on his shoulders. in the grips of his small hands, your book was settled in a perfect condition.

you started a little book club with megumi and his dad, thought toji was only there to make company and grumble thinking no one was listening. you got up from the carpeted floor to grab freshly made cookies and he followed, leaving megs by your coffee table.

“i’m sorry for taking your weekends, i’ll talk to megumi so we can reschedule this little dates for every three weeks.” you speak quietly while moving the hot snack to a blue plate. toji is confused as fuck.

“it’s fine. more than fine. the kid likes you, and…” he strong arms come near you, grabbing one of the cookies and biting it. “… so do i.”

with being confirmed that toji did not hate you, things scaled quickly, thanks to you. creating this proximity to the male made you open more and more, and soon toji was immersed into yours and megs talks about anything that picked both your interests. you could see toji was only doing it for the chance to speak to you more, which, for you, was adorable.

the fushiguros became a constant presence in your house, to the point where megumi was starting to act like a mini you, with his cutely words in a dry tone, sarcastic answers and holding your cameras to catch pictures of whatever his little self thought was pretty and worth keeping safe.

while he was napping in your room, toji and you got curious to what megs was inclined to capture. at first, you both laughed sweetly and cooed at his attempts of taking photos of himself on your bathroom mirror (only his spiked hand in the air and spiked hair being seen) or house decorations, but the laughs dried down when the little boy started to focus his attention and lenses on you and his dad.

the most beautiful photos was of the two of you preparing his lunch, how you both would stare at each other or when the other wasn’t noticing. how his hands would always come back to your lower back.

your favorite photo, though, was the one where your head was throw back, laughing at a silly mistake toji did. he might look annoyed, but his eyes were sparkling while staring at you. just like it is now, waiting for your reaction.

“cute.” you say.

“cute.” he repeats. “that we are.”

──── 𓇼 ° ⋆ FUN FACTS ᵎᵎ

۫ ּ ﹗no need to lie your height from him, for toji, you’re still short.

۫ ּ ﹗you and him go to the gym together, he brings out this very competitive side of you. unfortunately, there is nothing you can do, he keeps being the stronger and faster.

۫ ּ ﹗he thinks it’s cute when you babble with him about your special interests, he puts his most concentrated face that makes you kiss his face all over, but you both know he ain’t hearing shit.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

Book One of...

Story: 3 out of 5 Smut: 5 out of 5

What.. the.. hell. I was expecting a bully romance set during the college years, but Spine Ridge University is not your average university.

At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about this book because the violence felt like it was too extreme for some college kids. But after wrapping my mind around what Spine Ridge actually is, I was able to enjoy it all and root for the girl avenging her sister.

Not only is the smut intense, but the secrets and betrayal will keep you turning page after page.

Now here are my rambling thoughts..

* Goddamn. The prologue just jumped right into it, huh.

* Oh wow. She witnessed her sister commit suicide 😬 and in her last text, she warned her away from our three main boys. wtf is going on?

* She’s never even met these boys and they know her name? Suspicious…

* These guys are kind of intense, no? She ended up stabbing one with a pen and kicking him in the balls 😂

* Damn. They ransacked her room for a diary they think is hers. But really, it belongs to the dead sister. What fucking secrets are they so desperate to keep?

* Damn. Brutal face fucking… I’m not sure how I feel about that lol.

* Lmao. She sliced Felix and kicked Dylan in the nuts. Again. And then threw a chair at Alistair before pulling the fire alarm and escaping 😂

* Wow. They really chased her in the woods, wearing masks, and coated her in cum 👀

* Felix is a major dick. Please tell me he eases up some 😒

* Ohhh. We finally got the “touch her and die” vibe. But only after they pulled a dick move with the dead sister’s diary.

* Damn. Felix really tortured Nathan. And then let him walk.

* I need to know their connection to the dead sister! If they fucked her too, then this situation with Penelope is kinda fucked.

* Is Alistair my bb now? I think so. Even if he confuses the fuck out of me lol.

* She had a suicide pact with her sister and Felix thought she was responsible for her sister’s death? wtf.

* Oh fuck. Dylan and Alistair and Penelope in the hot spring 🥵

* Who the fuck do these Phantom asshole think they are? They really attacked Dylan, Alistair, and Penelope and thought they’d get away with it?

* Also, I love the violence but it’s a little far fetched for these young college kids to be this crazy.

* All three of them filled her. Wow.

* Why the fuck is Felix so jealous?! I thought this was a “why choose”?

* Oh fuck. They found a body. And Nathan’s little bitch ass is gloating that the police are involved now.

* Jesus Christ. Penelope really took a gamble telling half truths and half lies about the body. They’re so lucky.

* And now Felix’s jealousy kicked in. Again.

* Awkward family dinner from hell.

* “Ride my face like you own it.” — Alistair 🤭

* Felix is such a grumpy shit when around Penelope’s friends 😂 but why the invite to Club Rivera? What is he planning?

* Wooowww. They were in a relationship with her sister. Fuck that. I’d stop everything then and there.

* They fucked around in a cemetery 🤦🏻‍♀️

* Damn. She got kicked out of the sorority because someone set a fire and left her name taped to a firework. Who’s fucking with her?

* So the sister jumped because of a breakup?

* Ouch. Penelope is gonna end things with them, huh. At least for now she will.

* Oh fuck. Felix, what did you do 🤦🏻‍♀️

* The fucking dean?! Dylan’s father is who pushed the sister to jump?!

* Ricci family..? wtf. Is her family some crime family too?! I always wondered why her dad was cool with her going to the school where his eldest committed suicide. They sent her to find answers.

* SHE WAS PREGNANT!!! Now her suicide is really fucked up.

* She set the school on fire 😂

* Goddamn. She played them all.

* “Tell me what you need. Be specific.” // “Hurt him. Scar him where it hurts the most.” // His face darkens in a way that only happens when he’s on a murder spree, and he grabs her hand and slowly brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss on top as though he’s dealing a deal. “I’ll bring him fucking hell for you.”

* Goddamn. It’s a mafia war in a fraternity house.

* Ding dong, the dean is dead.

* Holy shit. She’s in charge now. She’s making the boys watch as she fucks herself and the boys can’t touch.

* “You. Crawl to me.” —- 🥵

* Goddamn. That was some major dicking down lol.

* Awww. They tattooed each other’s names on each other.

[stillstuckin2000spunkrock]

Forgotten Friendship (Tsukkishima Kei x female!reader)

This is another one of my much older stories that I decided to post. This might actually be gender neutral, it’s been a while lmao. I promise this isn’t all angst and has a fluff ending🙏

You were walking through campus on your way home from an after school meeting with the drama club when something came whizzing past your face. You glanced and looked around, wondering what almost just gave you a black eye or a minor concussion. There on the sidewalk about 4 feet away from you was a volleyball. It must have flew out of the gymnasium doors. You stooped down to retrieve the ball. “Might as well return this..” You mumbled to yourself as you tossed it around in your hands.

When you entered the gymnasium doors you were greeted with the stench of sweat and the sounds of squeaky shoes. “Did anyone lose a volleyball?” You half yelled, holding up the ball. Quite a few of the boys stopped and stared at you, making you mildly uncomfortable, a few you recognized from your classes. You could feel your cheeks turn red from embarrassment. “Oh! Ummm yeah, that’s our ball.” Said a guy rather sheepishly. He looked like a 3rd year. He had a nice build for his age, short black hair now coated with sweat, and the back of his jersey had a #1 on it. “Sorry about that!” Said another guy, nervously scratching the back of his neck. And you thought the first guy was built like a truck- this guy was practically a train! He looked like a 3rd year but more mature from the slight beard he had. His long auburn hair was tied back in a slick bun. You admired his man bun, but was a little taken aback by his size. “Oh! Uhhh it’s okay!” You fretted nervously, having gotten lost in your thoughts. You took a quick glance at all the other boys in the gym, there certainly was a lot and they were all equally chaotic. As you were searching the faces your eyes landed on someone who made your heart beat faster and your stomach drop. There was no mistaking who that icy glare belonged to… “Tsukki..?” You whispered to yourself. It didn’t help that behind him was a cowering Tadashi…

You see, Tsukkishima and you were childhood best friends. And to say the least you also had developed a crush on him in middle school, which you could never find a way to distinguish even to this day. After all, you had watched him grow from a smart little boy, to a brilliant guy. You were as close as two could be. You both grew up living right next door to one another, and attended the same school. Every day after school you and Tsukki would walk home together and hang out. Sometimes you two would run around outside or even read dinosaur books. You two were practically inseparable. But then your parents started arguing… When they weren’t at each other’s throats, they would be upset with you. Saying you weren’t enough, that you couldn’t do anything right, burdening you with chores…it never ended. And the more upset your parents became the less you talked to Tsukki. And slowly you guys started drifting apart. You felt like you had no one, so you took your anger out on some innocent kid who happened to be new to school. By the name of Tadashi Yamaguchi- You would do petty things like steal his lunch money, trip him in the halls, rip up his homework, or just flat out tease him. And once you started, you couldn’t stop. It took about 2 weeks before Tsukkishima saw this for himself. He couldn’t understand what had gotten into you. He ended up standing up for Tadashi and scolding you. To you, this just proved that nobody wanted you. Your friend had picked the new kid over you.. Later that day Tsukkishima had begged you to tell him what was bothering you, and why you were so upset. He knew about your parents arguing, but for some reason you never told him how it effected you. This made you angry for some reason, and you two got in a fight. In the end Tsukkishima walked away first, you thought you had won, but when Tsukkishima started giving you cold looks and hanging out with his precious Tadashi, you realized you had lost. Overtime it became more and more obvious that Tadashi was replacing you. No more walking home from school together, or hanging out at each others houses. Now it was just you watching Tadashi do all those things. Eventually your parents got a divorce and things settled down. You stayed in the same house with your mom, and visited your dad on the weekends. Due to all the stress this caused you, you started attending therapy which did great things for you. You no longer felt angry at the world, things were looking up. Even though you two never associated, you had watched Tsukishima grow up from next door, and unknowingly him to you. You were making new friends, and joining new clubs. However, there was no taking Tsukki back. As much as you longed to be friends again, he had Tadashi now… You don’t hate Tadashi. If anything you were happy that Tsukishima found a friend. If anything you deserve what you got, for the way you treated Tadashi. Unfortunately, you never did apologize to either of them. It was just too frightening to have to approach them both again. Heck, they probably hated you. If only they could see that you changed…Maybe things could have been different if you just apologized…

Standing there looking into Tsukki’s cold glare, all these thoughts and feelings came rushing back. You felt bile rise in your throat, and your hands clench up. “Umm here.” You said, stiffly handing the ball to the guy with black hair. “I-I-I should go..” You stuttered, and with one last look at Tsukishima and Tadashi, you spun on your heel and walked out of there as fast as you could.

It was the next day at school and you were leaving math class when you saw a familiar face in the halls. It was Tadashi… Yesterday after your little encounter with the boys, you had memories come back that you wanted to forget and move on from, but you realized that your guilt wasn’t letting you. You wanted to be friends with them again, to be close to Tsukki…As far as you knew he was single. So after quite a few pep talks throughout the night you realized that you had to apologize and take the risk. If things went well you guys could all become friends again, if not you would go on as hatful enemies…But it was worth a shot. You nervously walked over to Tadashi. Thankfully Tsukkishima wasn’t around to psych you out. You gently tapped Tadashi on the shoulder. He turned around, and the smile that was on his freckly face slowly faltered. You felt so ashamed to see that he was still scared of you. Couldn’t he see that you’ve changed..? “It’s okay. I’m not here to bully you or anything…” You nervously laughed, looking at your sneakers. “I-I just wanted to say I’m sorry..” You whispered. “Oh. It’s alright…We were just kids.” Tadashi said, smiling apologetically. “But it’s not! I shouldn’t have done the things I did…I was going through some family issues, not that that’s any excuse. I just felt the need to take all my anger out on other people…I’ve gotten better though. I realize my mistakes and that I never should have treated you like that…I went to therapy after that and got in a much better mindset. I’m sorry for all the pain I’ve caused you!” You finished, bowing abruptly. “Woah, there’s no need for that!” Tadashi blushed, not wanting to cause a scene. “I forgive you.” He said. You blinked. You practically made his life hell, and he just forgives you?! “But..why?” You ask. “Because we were just kids. And I can tell you’ve changed..I know it’s not easy to apologize.” Tadashi comforted. You just nodded as you both stood there in silence. It felt like such a relief to finally apologize after all these years. Especially since Tadashi forgave you. However Tsukishima didn’t have a forgiving nature like Tadashi, so he would be a lot harder. Suddenly Tadashi interrupted your thoughts. “H-hey I was wondering if you maybe wanted to eat lunch with me and Tsukki tomorrow..?” He stuttered out nervously. You couldn’t tell if he was just trying to be nice, or actually inviting you. Plus the reminder of Tsukkishima’s cold glare from yesterday sent shivers down your spine. But something inside of you wanted to. There was a part of you that wanted things back to the way they were. A part of you that still wanted Tsukki to be yours… And before you knew what you were saying, you had agreed to lunch with both boys tomorrow.

The next day you were absolutely exhausted. You were up practically all night thinking of scenarios where things went wrong at lunch today. It was a chore just to get out of bed. Your legs felt like Jello as you made your way across the cafeteria lunchroom. You nervously gripped your lunch tray like it was your lifeline. You were well into regretting your choice, when a voice pulled you out of your thoughts. “Hey Katey! We’re over here!” You looked over to see an excited Tadashi waving you over from across the cafeteria. You smiled at seeing Tadashi all excited, but a frown quickly made its way across your face when you saw Tsukki’s pissed off expression. Based on his looks, he was not happy you were joining them. You gave a small wave back to Tadashi and headed over with legs of lead. You made sure you took a seat next to Tadashi who sat across the table from Tsukkishima. All throughout the lunch period Tsukkishima kept sending you cold glares, while Tadashi tried to fill in the awkward tension between you two. It would have been more enjoyable if Tsukki wasn’t staring you down. Tadashi seemed like a nice and funny guy. You had finally started to pretend Tsukishima wasn’t there, when Tadashi declared he had to leave lunch 10 minutes early to grab some supplies from his locker. Your heart started racing, realizing you were stuck with Tsukkishima now. You nervously picked at the chocolate chips in your cookie. “Tsukki-“ You started. “Don’t bother.” Tsukkishima interrupted coldly. He started to gather his things to leave, when you grabbed his arm. Tsukkishima looked just as surprised by your actions as you were. “Get off of me.” He said, trying to get his arm out of your grasp. Realizing it was now or never to apologize to Tsukkishima, you kept your grip firm. “No. You have to listen to me!” You begged, your eyes starting to water. “I am so sorry…I really am. I shouldn’t have ignored you all those times you asked me what was wrong…I should’ve told you, so that way none of this wouldn’t have happened. It’s no excuse but my parents started to take their anger out on me..so I did they same…Eventually my parents got a divorce and things were better. I started to see a counselor actually…and I made new friends and joined clubs. The point is, I realize my mistakes and I want to apologize. To make things right…We used to be so close…and I don’t know…I guess I miss those days…” You trailed off, silent tears streaming down your cheeks. Tsukkishima pulled his arm out of your weakening grasp. He scoffed “You know I still can’t stand to see you cry.” He said, wiping a tear off your cheek with his sleeve. You sniffled, and gave him a small smile, knowing this was his way of forgiving you. And that part of you that wanted Tsukki went crazy. You slowly put your arms around Tsukkishima’s tall figure and hugged him, inhaling the scent that was him. It felt good to be this close to him again. Tsukkishima hesitantly put his arms around you as well. “I missed you so much…” You mumbled into his chest, feeling those old bonds between you two strengthen. “I guess I missed you too..” He whispered.  Just then the bell rang, signaling that lunch was over. You and Tsukkishima awkwardly broke apart, both sporting matching pink cheeks. “T-thanks…” You mumbled, embarrassed. “Ummm bye!” You started to walk away but you stopped when you heard him say “Hey, do you wanna walk home together after school? Like old times…” He asked. You turned around and flashed him a smile, feeling a special warmth rise in your chest. “Yeah. I’d like to a lot.”

It was the end of the school day and you were waiting outside for Tsukkishima. The bell had rang almost 10 minutes ago…Where was he? Maybe he wasn’t going to come…Maybe it was all just some ruse to embarrass you…Just as more dreadful thoughts flooded your mind, Tsukkishima came out of the school doors. “Sorry about that, I had to speak to a teacher about something.” He aapologized. You looked over to see him standing beside you, wearing those headphones you had gotten him for his birthday as kids. You couldn’t help but smile. “You still have those?” You teased, pointing at them. “Yeah..Why wouldn’t I?” He said it in such a confident way that you couldn’t help but blush. “Nevermind.” You giggled, a slight bounce in your step. When you reached both your houses, you and Tsukkishima both stopped to look at each other. “Thanks for walking me.” You blushed. “It was nothing.” Tsukkishima shrugged, even though his cheeks said otherwise. “Sooo tomorrow wanna walk to school together..?” You asked nervously. “Sure, just don’t take to long getting ready. I don’t wanna be late, and you look fine anyway.” He said casually as he walked next door to his home. You just stood there dumbfounded. Did Tsukki just give you a compliment and imply you looked good!? Long story short you were speechless for the rest of the night.

It had been about a month since you had apologized to the boys and things were going well. Everyday you and Tsukkishima walked too and from school. At lunchtime you, Tadashi, and Tsukki would all sit together, and the conversation wasn’t awkward anymore. In fact, you had all become quite good friends. You even went to a few of their volleyball practices, which were a little chaotic to say the least. On the plus side, you had made some more friends in the volleyball club as well. It was another day after school and you and Tsukkishima were walking home together, reminiscing on old times when you said “I remember I had a crush on you..” You nervously laughed, preparing for the worst. “Really? Well that’s lame.” He snickered. “Tsukki!” You blushed, elbowing him in the ribs. Your heart slowly saddening. “But not as lame as me, because I still have a crush on you.” He added, looking straight ahead. You froze, your heart pumping a mile an hour “Wait, what!?” You yelled. “Yep. Now shut up.” Tsukkishima said, stopping in front of your house. Figuring that this was unfortunately the end of this conversation you started to head up to your porch when Tsukki stopped you. “Wait!” He said. You turned around, confused, “Wha-“ You started, but were interrupted by Tsukki placing his lips on yours. You felt your heart flutter in your chest, and realized that this is what it felt like to be in love. You slowly kissed back, enjoying the way his lips tasted. Tsukkishima deepened the kiss, and forced your lips apart, slipping his tongue inside. You two kissed for a while until Tsukkishima broke away, breathless and said “Y/N…Will you finally go out with me?” You started squealing. “Omg yes Tsukki!” You yelled, jumping into his arms. “Hey easy now. Don’t break me.” He scowled, but you saw a smile start to form on his face. “Thanks Tsukki for giving me a second chance…” You whispered into his chest. “No problem. I’ll always be here…” He whispered into your ear.

[balletandbow]

Never in my life will I tell anyone else that their feelings or experience with homeschooling are incorrect or invalid or wrong. What I will say is that homeschooling can be and is done right, and that I think I was lucky enough to experience it myself.

My mother was a kindergarten teacher before she had kids, and worked as a nanny once I was born so she could stay with me more. By the time I was ready for kindergarten (my birthday is in August, I was barely 5) we were living in the middle of nowhere and I would have had an hour round trip bus ride every day. Our state had few laws prohibiting homeschooling, and this was literally what my mom's degree was in, so she just taught me.

We moved a couple years later, and by the time we hit the upper years of my mom's ed degree we had enrolled in the local school district's homeschooling supervision program. Every year my mother made a list of the curriculum she had chosen for me (and eventually my two brothers) and turned it in to a certified teacher who was assigned to supervise us. We did pretty much anything you can think of. English was separated into reading and writing (so many different books and so many essays oh my god), math (with a textbook fear not), history (my mom pulled out weird Manifest Destiny books out and added extra books from indigenous authors), science (I got my iPod taken away for pretending to do my work when I didn't lmao), and so many field trips and fun things that are so much easier to do when most kids are in school.

We participated in the weekly class that the supervision program offered starting when I was in 5th grade. Every Wednesday afternoon we would spend 3 hours with other homeschooled kids, doing theatre, art, or some kind of history or science project depending on the time of year. The middle and high school groups put on a full play in a semester every year. A few other kids and I who were supervised by the same teacher formed a little club and made our parents let us meet up a second time a week and we got to help make the play sets and generally were little nerds.

In middle school I started taking classes at our public middle school. I was there for math because my supervising teacher had me take a placement test when my mom decided to change math curriculums and they had decided I was ready for Algebra a little early. I also went for choir, because I liked to sing. I ended up taking math at the public school all the way through high school because our district had an advanced math track that let me take Algebra 2, Pre calc, and Calc AB in 3 years and I liked math too much to say no to that. I also took 4 years of Spanish, AP Lang, chemistry, art, theater, and lots of choir.

I had friends at school and I had friends at my homeschool stuff. I got to do a year of history curriculum learning about the early day of the Christian church. My freshman year of high school the writing part of my English curriculum was literally to write a novel. It sounds crazy looking back on it but it was so much fun, and I learned literally so much, which was indeed the point.

When the pandemic hit in the spring of my junior year our public schools all closed for the year. We kept homeschooling. I took all my senior year public school classes from our basement. It was hard, but not all that different than what I did with my other subjects. I started college in the fall of 2021 and discovered that it's really very similar to what I had already been doing. Go learn from the professor. Do your work on your own time. Come back, get feedback, and do it again.

I move in for my senior year of college in a week. There's a lot of discussions about pretty much every aspect of education happening in the world, from the pandemic to asynchronous classes to homeschooling and indoctrination to free lunches. There's a lot of bad homeschoolers out there, and there's a lot of kids who were never taught what they needed to learn to be successful adults. This is just what me and my family did. It definitely shaped me as a person, but as I'm getting older it's becoming less important to my life, which to me signals that my parents and various teachers did a good job.

[your-everyday-theatre-kid]

welp

🐰- do you believe in soul mates? Sorta yaaaa :3

💌- diary or journal? Journal

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most? Idfk 0-0 a LOT

💕- are you crushing on someone? erm YES 0-0

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain? ...neither? rain if I have to choose

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis I'm not even gonna try- IM EVERYTHING

🍼- what is your favorite memory? Seeing my depressed friend @nu-get smiles so fucking genuinely for the first time in a while

🌸- what is your favorite flower? Lillies

💖- have you ever been in love? Yes

🍰- strawberry or vanilla? Both ;)

🍯- describe your favorite smell Roses/vanilla

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be? To turn all humans into animals, to be able to teleport, to restore all human buildings and stuff back to nature

🍪- cookie dough or cookies? cookie dough

☕- coffee or tea? neither, ewwww

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies? Forest

🍂- what’s your middle name? I HATE IT. Never mention it again but: "Jae"

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign? idk what those are

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days? Stay inside, drink smth warm, and lay in bed by a window and play google solitaire listening to the rain <3

🍭- how tall are you? 5'4 or 5'5

💒- which show would you want to live in? Heartstopper, or Oruan High School Host Club, OR POKEMON LIKE FUCK YES CREATURES

🎄- what is your favorite holiday? Christmas, and Halloween

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite? Cookie dough vanilla

🎶- favorite song right now? Anything by cavetown or sushi soucy

💘- ways to win your heart? Be clingy/attracted, PDA, listening to me rant/ranting back, texting paragraphs, hanging out with me at all times, physical touch

🍩- current mood? Meh,regret, guilty

❄️- what is your favorite season? spring and winter

💍- your current relationship status? single

📷- a photo of yourself NO.

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled? erm ya LMAO

🕊️- 3 habits you have? Nail biting, Lip biting,shaking my leg/bursing into song

🦄- how do you perceive yourself? Bad. dog shit with friends who they don't deserve

🦋- how do you think others perceive you? idk EMO, maybe kind and silly? I hope-

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys When they are clingy, hug me 24/7, have their own style, make me laugh, say outta pocket things ya know

🍓- one secret about yourself idfk Terrified of conflictconfrontationn with my friends?

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush? OBSESSED, clingy, annoying, flirty

💔- the reason behind your last breakup? No comment. Mental health

💬- what your last text message says? "No I feel like shit. fuck meee fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck"

🎥- what show are you currently binging on? HEARTSTOPPER

⛅- what is your morning routine? Wake up late, find clothes, get out the fucking door idfk?

💗- who do you miss? My friend from last year... :<

🥀- last time you cried? a little bit this morning, smth happened to a pet

🎁- when is your birthday? Mt. St. Helens day, May 18th

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience? Don't wanna mention it

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you? SAME AGE

🎀- any question you want Idk pookie :3

sweet and pure asks

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

💌- diary or journal?

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

💕- are you crushing on someone?

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

💖- have you ever been in love?

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

🍯- describe your favorite smell

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

☕- coffee or tea?

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

🍂- what’s your middle name?

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

🍭- how tall are you?

💒- which show would you want to live in?

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

🎶- favorite song right now?

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

🍩- current mood?

❄️- what is your favorite season?

💍- your current relationship status?

📷- a photo of yourself

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

🌈- things I find attractive in girls/guys

🍓- one secret about yourself

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?

💬- what your last text message says?

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

⛅- what is your morning routine?

💗- who do you miss?

🥀- last time you cried?

🎁- when is your birthday?

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?

🎀- any question you want

~~Not mine

[anti-romantico]

[getaway car] enhypen jake

warnings: riding, oral (m&f), facefuck, deepthroat, cum swallowing, overstimulation, protected sex (as y'all should!)

words: 1342 (wth happened to the color yellow?)

A/N: first thing first, yes, this is inspired by the taylor swift song "getaway car", my friend went to the eras tour in Edinburgh and got it as a surprise song, she hasn't stopped talking about it since then, so naturally I listened to the song and immediately got obsessed with it, and I'm saying it as someone who only likes a few TS songs. This same friend helped me with the redaction of this fic since we all know how much I like to use the same five adjectives in all my fics lmao

anyways, hope y'all enjoy this as much as I did, it might be one of my favorite fics I've ever written.

remember, don't like it don't read it, that's why the warnings are before the cut

You knew this was wrong. You ended a 3 year relationship just last month. But this guy’s lips on your neck felt like heaven. The sudden bites and sucks he was giving sent shivers all over your body. You weren’t a fan of marks, but you let him have his way. It was like you needed him to.

— Do you want to take this somewhere private? — How did he manage to whisper if the music was really loud?

You smirked. Yes. You wanted him.

— Let me tell my friend I’m leaving. Be right back. — You gave him a kiss on his cheek and rushed to your friend’s table. She was also busy. — Ney! I’m sorry! — You had to push his date to make them stop. 

— Already got bored of him? — She asked, drinking her glass, realizing it was only melted ice. Your relationship with Heeseung wasn’t of her liking, so the moment your impulsive thought won and told her you wanted to club, she dragged you to the mall and bought you the navy blue dress you were wearing. 

— Quite the opposite. I’m leaving! — Ney was surprised, she thought it was going to be just a little make out. 

— Do you have your location on?

You grabbed your phone from the table and showed her. — Always! I’ll call you, have fun!

Once you two were out, you took a deep breath. You didn’t drink much, but it was enough to feel dizzy.

— Are you ok? — He asked, rubbing his hand on your back.

— Just the change of air. — You smiled. He murmured something and took off his jacket, placing it over your shoulder. 

He opened the door of his truck for you and even helped you with the seatbelt. Taking advantage of the closeness to grab you by your face and kiss you. — Sorry, I had to do it. Couldn’t resist anymore.

— Don’t apologize. — This time you kissed him, playing with his tongue.

Against his own head, he pulled away and ran to the driver seat.

— Is it ok if we go to a hotel? Pretty sure my roommate has someone over. — He took his phone out of his jeans and looked at you. You shook your head and started at him driving and finding a hotel.

You just heard him say “Perfect” before looking at you. 

— I’m Jake, by the way. — You chuckled and told him your name, not being able to resist your urges and grabbed his free hand and played with his fingers. — It’s the first time a girl does that.

—You have pretty hands, even prettier than mine. — You compared the back of his hand with yours before continuing to rub his skin. 

Jake would pull his hand away from time to time, but immediately would grab your hand after.

A little darkness covered the car. You made it to the hotel. After being helped by Jake to get out, you walked hand in hand to the reception as the ballet parking left with Jake’s car.

— Good evening. Room for Jake Sim. — You bit your lower lip at his voice tone. The receptionist smiled and gave him two cards. 

The room was nice. More than that. How did he book a room like this with so little anticipation?

— You like it? — Jake was behind you, just like you two were at the club. — I have to order condoms, though, wasn’t planning to have sex tonight.

You laughed and nodded. — I’ll use the bathroom while you do that.

You took a deep breath once you locked the door behind you. Were you really going to do this? Yes, definitely. You still could feel his hands burning on your skin. 

When you got out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the couch, typing on his phone. He turned his face toward you when you closed the door.

— Hey, I know why are we here, but are you hungry? I can call room service. — Jake asked, following you with his eyes. As soon as you were in front of him, you straddled him.

Jake left his phone to the side and placed his hands on your waist. After looking at each other’s eyes, you finally lowered your face and kissed him, grabbing his hands and lowering them to your butt. 

He had to take a very deep breath when he felt the edge of your dress in the palm of his hands. Would it be too fast if he lifted it a little so he could feel you? 

But it was like you read his mind. As the kiss deepened, you started to move your hips over his, causing your dress to lift up, and with Jake’s help, you were grinding on his boner. 

— Let's take this to the bed, love, we'll be more comfortable. — Jake's strength made you clench. He carried you with one arm like it was nothing and took you to the bedroom. 

The bed was so soft, you loved the idea of about to be fucked in a bed as soft as this one.

Jake held your legs spread and pulled your thong down, letting it fall to the ground.

You held yourself up with your elbows as you saw him get on his knees and kiss your inner thighs. He was teasing you, going from one leg to the other, ignoring your wet pussy. 

You weren't going to protest though, you liked it. But the loud moan you let out when he gave a hard suck on your clit wouldn't have been prevented. Not even if you tried. 

His tongue was skilled, feeling jealous of all the girls that have experienced it before you.

There were times you tried to keep eye contact with him, but due to the pleasure he was giving you, it was impossible to not close your eyes and throw your head back. 

Jake started to lick your pussy with a fervor that you had never experienced before. His tongue moved in circles around your clit, sending waves of pleasure through your body. You moaned softly, fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer to your cunt.

As he continued to lick and suck on your clit, you felt your orgasm building. Your breath came in short gasps, and you arched your back, pressing yourself harder against his mouth. Suddenly, the pleasure became too much to bear, and you cried out as your orgasm washed over you.

He continued to lick you gently, drawing out your orgasm until you were left panting and breathless. 

You bit your lip, feeling a surge of desire course through you. — Can I suck your cock?

Jake's eyes widened with surprise, but he didn't hesitate. He nodded, his breath coming in short gasps. Jake stood up and opened his jeans, letting you pull them down with his boxers.

You reached the base of Jake's cock, your fingers gently caressing the sensitive skin. You felt his cock twitching in anticipation, and you knew that he was just as eager as you were. 

You wrapped your fingers around the base of his cock, grip was firm but gentle.

You looked up at Jake, eyes meeting him. He was watching you with a look of pure desire, his eyes dark with need. 

Jake groaned, his body tensing as you began to stroke his cock. 

You lowered your head, your lips parting as you took the head of Jake's cock into your mouth. 

You tasted his salty precum, and you moaned softly as you swirl your tongue around the sensitive head.

Jake groaned, his fingers tangling in your hair as he guided your head down further. You took him deeper into your mouth, your lips sliding down his shaft as you began to suck him off. You could feel his cock swelling in your mouth, growing harder and thicker.

Jake's grip on your hair tightened as he thrust his hips upward, pushing his cock deeper into your mouth. 

You moaned around his shaft, your fingers digging into his thighs as you tried to steady yourself. You could feel his cock twitching, growing even harder.

You could hear Jake's breath coming in short gasps, his body tensing with every stroke of your tongue. You knew that he was close to his release, and you wanted to make him feel as good as he had made you feel. 

Jake's body began to shudder, his cock throbbing in your mouth as he neared his release.

You felt his precum dripping down your throat, and you swallowed eagerly, wanting to taste every drop of him. His fingers tightened in your hair, pulling you closer as he thrust his hips upward, his cock hitting the back of your throat.

You gagged slightly, but Jake didn't let up, his desire taking over as he fucked your mouth with recklessly. You could feel your own arousal building again, pussy throbbing with need.

— I'm gonna cum in your mouth again, love, but this time don't swallow it. Keep it in your mouth. — Jake said as he kept thrusting his cock into your mouth. You could feel his cock swelling even more as he spoke.

You nodded, your eyes locked on his, and you felt a thrill of excitement.

You felt his cock throbbing, the veins bulging as he chased his second release.

Suddenly, Jake's body tensed, his fingers tightening in your hair as he thrust his hips upward one last time. You felt his hot cum shooting into your mouth, filling it.

And you did as he told you; you kept his cum in your mouth, letting his cock go carefully to not drop anything.

Jake lifted your face with his thumb. — Open. — You opened your mouth and showed him the white liquid in your mouth. — You look so hot like this, love, but I want to see you swallow it, you didn't let me the first time. 

Not even a second after you swallowed his cum, Jake lowered himself and kissed you, tasting himself in your tongue.

You felt dizzy after he pulled himself away, and you got confused when you heard him grab the condoms from the drawer.

— You took your sweet time in the bathroom. — He explained, taking off his jacket and shirt.

When he was kicking his jeans off, he stopped you from removing your dress. 

— I really want to see your body, but you look too hot in that dress to not take advantage of that. — You loved honesty, and even boosted your ego. 

Jake laid down in the bed and handed you the condoms.

You took out one of the condoms and rolled it down Jake's cock, feeling his thickness through the thin latex. You stroked him a few times, your hand gliding up and down his shaft as you felt him grow even harder. 

You positioned yourself over him, your legs straddling his hips as you lowered your body onto his.

You felt him enter you, his cock stretching you open as he filled you up. You gasped, your body shuddering with pleasure as you took him in.

You began to move, your hips rocking back and forth.

Jake's hands gripped your hips tightly as you rode him, his fingers digging into your skin as he guided your movements. You felt his cock throbbing inside you, his shaft rubbing against your sensitive walls as you moved up and down.

You leaned forward, your hands braced on his chest as you kissed him deeply. Your tongues danced together, breaths mingling as you lost yourselves in the moment. Jake's cock was twitching inside you, his desire building as you continued.

You broke the kiss, your breath coming in short gasps as you looked down at him. 

Jake's hands moved to your breasts, his fingers teasing your nipples over your dress.

Your orgasm started to build up, your body tensing as you threw your head back, your hair cascading down as you let out a low moan.

— I'm gonna cum. — You gasped, your voice barely audible as you felt my orgasm wash over you. Your body shook and pussy clenched around Jake's cock as you came. 

As you rode your orgasm, Jake's hands tightened around your breasts, he watched you come undone.

His cock still throbbing inside you, your pussy clenching around him as you milked every last drop of pleasure from your release. 

You slowly opened your eyes, your gaze locking onto Jake's. His eyes were burning with desire, his pupils dilated as he gazed up at you. There was tension in his body, his muscles coiled and ready to spring into action. 

Without warning, Jake's hands gripped your hips tightly, his fingers digging as he pushed you down onto the bed. 

You gasped, your body shivering with pleasure as he positioned himself over you. You could feel his cock pressing against your entrance, his thickness filling you up as he thrust into you.

You cried out, your body arching off the bed as Jake rammed into you. He didn't give you a chance to recover from your orgasm, his desire taking over as he fucked you hard and fast. Even making the bed squeak under you two.

Jake's cock pulsed inside you, his thrusts growing more frantic as he chased his own release. 

His sweaty chest pressing against yours, his hot breath whispering in your ear as he whispered dirty nothings. Your body responded eagerly, your pussy clenching around his cock as you felt another orgasm building.

You wrapped my legs around his waist, your heels digging into his back as you pulled him deeper into you. Jake groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head as he felt you tighten around him.

As Jake's body tensed, his cock throbbing inside you.

His face was buried in the crook of your neck. You held him close, your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, your fingers tangled in his hair as you felt his release building.

Suddenly, Jake's body tensed, his cock pulsing inside you as he came. You could feel his cum filling the condom, his shaft throbbing as he emptied himself into the condom.  

As Jake's hips slowed, his thrusts becoming gentle as he rode out his orgasm, you felt his body relaxing, his weight pressing down on you.

His face was still buried in the crook of your neck, his hot breath tingling against your skin as he panted, trying to catch his breath. 

Slowly, Jake pulled out, causing the both of you to sigh. He laid down beside you for a few seconds before he removed the condoms and went to the bathroom.

You practically kicked out the dress of your body as you felt hot and sticky.

Jake got out of the bathroom and sat down on the side of the bed you were in. — Do you want to take a bath? I'll order something to eat so the bathroom is all yours.

And even though in the back of your head you knew it wasn't a good idea, you nodded.

Jake smiled softly and kissed you. But not a kiss that tells you he wanted to keep fucking. It was just a sweet kiss. 

After getting out of the bathroom, you were wearing one of the bathrobes you found hanged. The bed had two silver plates with pizza and french fries, but your clothes were nowhere to be seen.

— Jake? — You tried to not panic as you walked out of the room and found Jake receiving two paper bags from a hotel staff.

— Your clothes will be here in the morning, sir. — The guy said to Jake. — Is there anything else I can do? 

— Not for the moment. Thanks. — The guy left after receiving a tip from Jake.

— I sent your dress to the dry cleaners, but I got you clean clothes in case you don't want to leave wearing a dress. — Jake handed you one of the paper bags, which you received hesitantly.

— Isn't it too much? — You asked him, afraid to offend him and his kindness.

— I just thought you preferred… your dress was wrinkled. Fuck… Am I being invasive? 

— No! Not at all. It's just that you paid for the hotel, the food and now clothes.  This isn't something I would've expected for… this. — It seemed like none of you pictured the same. 

— What is this? For you, I mean. — Jake walked towards you, leaving his paper bag on the couch in the way. God, he still had some sort of scent that drove you crazy. 

But you couldn't answer, looking at the whole picture, it was obvious he didn't have the same idea as you after meeting at a club.

— How about we eat something? I'm starting to feel dizzy. — You grabbed his hand and pulled him to the room.

The food was already cold, but both of you were too lazy to go to the kitchen and warm the food.

After eating, you were planning on leaving, no matter if it was late, but you were too tired after everything.

And if it wasn't because of your bladder you would've continued sleeping, but you had to run to the bathroom, finding your phone on the floor. 

You checked the time. 8:32 in the morning. 

When you walked in the room, Jake was sleeping so tight it made you feel like shit for grabbing the paper bag he gave you last night. You locked yourself in the bathroom and dressed up quickly.

After getting out of the bathroom again, you grabbed your heels and rushed out of the room, until you found Jake's phone on the couch right beside his paper bag. 

You weren't going to leave him your number, but you didn't want to lose contact, but you weren't ready for whatever he was low-key offering you. 

And just like any other hotel, there was a small notebook and a pen on the table. It was your only way to say goodbye without making it difficult… for you.

“You gave me a night I'll never forget, but sadly it happened when I'm not in the correct state of mind. Don't think I'm not thankful for everything you've done for me, but think about the place where you first met me.

I hope we can meet again, I promise I'll make up for it”. 

You rushed out of the hotel room, walking confidently to the elevator. You even smiled at the receptionist when you were making your way out of the hotel and hopped in one of the taxis.

When Jake woke up he didn't want to think anything bad when you weren't on his side. Or when he saw the pajama you wore and the paper bag in the bathroom. But then he found the note. 

He swore he could hear your voice redacting it. It stinged as he read it over and over and over and over again.

part two

[boyfhee]

sweetheart, i would definitely love and i know you will take your time to answer my asks ^^ really, tale your time, there is no need to rush, hehe. as i said, i can always wait. of course you can call me all the soft names you know ^^

theme will look good amd pretty, can't wait to see what you will be cooking :0 i gotta be shocked. and please take your time for the tutorial, hehe. i really didn't know how to use + i dont know how to use memimessage and twinote.

cervical injury ?? you sprained your foot ?? nazar laag gayi yaar tuhje :(( please take care of yourself, huhu when i went out with my friends the day before, i hot my knee to the rod T_T but hope you stay healthy sweetheart <33

umm, i was actually sleepy, didnt even cared to see whaf i sent. but the liver 😔 see i cant type. lmao hahah. liver club anon, noo but the o is so near to the i, it meakes hard to type properly :/

anyways, spy x family, patiently waiting for season3 and once the announcement comes, imma ( re )watch s1 and s2. i agree with you loid is such a hottie, damnn and yor is the baddass 😌 i love my forger fam so much. cant wait to talk to you about them. also i bought manga last year, december :0 my mom gifted them because i got good marks in my finals exams, hehe.

well, you dont have to answer this soon, please tale your time sweetheart <33 olease take care lf your health, and your body ^3^ love you lots

— lover club anon <33

aaa i forgot to make the tutorial yesterday TT today, for sure ! grabbing my phone as we speak .. although, twinote is rather easier to use than memi since it glitches way less, memi sometimes auto-delete texts ?? and also profiles :< it deleted all my profiles which is why i don't feel like making them again and continuing my smaus :/

actually :O tree branch gir gaya tha mere upar last year ( _ _; ) i had to take physiotherapy for neck and one of my legs, since i hurt a ligament too, and the leg is fine but my neck hurts whenever i strain it too much TT i will take care of myself, i hope you will too ^^ how is your knee? hope it doesn't hurt too much, i knee injuries are the worse

also, liver club anon is a funny name !

i'm up-to date with the anime ! manga, i'm not sure if i should read it or wait for the next season. but you're right, loid is so ... i want him. i'm always open to having men who are incredibly smart and embody the housewife role a little too well :D and don't even mention yor, her introduction was so O_o i love women ♥︎ also, i love anya and damian >< cutest kids ever, and his adorable crush on her is so skjdhsdf they're cutieful

i envy you so much because my mum refuses to buy me mangas or albums :< she says there's no use of them .. “doctors don't do all these things” — her only argument. i hate this, i want the new enhypen album so bad TT

i always feel like we talk about me a lot so just for a change, what are you up to lately? new shows you're watching or books that you're reading? i've been addicted to wired tech support on yt TT been watching all their videos and i feel super smart heh

[smolcinnamonchipmunk]

I realized I forgot to say how my first experience with a club went. I know not everyone will care, but I know at least two people that straight up asked me to let them know how it went, so here goes

First off, I almost didn't go because the day before I was like "I only have three dresses, and all of them are too fancy/lacy, and I want to at least TRY to be feminine". Now, nothing wrong with not being feminine. I'm literally an AFAB NB that does not like my hips, but I try to make do. But, sometimes, once in a blue moon, I wanna try to be feminine. Like, maybe once a year level frequency, so it had to be RIGHT

I go to an actual dress place first, but everything was too fancy, so I fell back on my classic: Hot Topic. Unfortunately, it was particularly busy that day and I didn't bring my headphones, and there were too many choices and options, and I quickly became overwhelmed and had stunted text messages with my friend for the hour and a half I was inside because the connection sucked so much. But, she promised that we could go shopping the next day together and I felt instantly better and got the fuck out of dodge after buying one shirt I really liked

We went shopping the next day and I got two pairs of pants and a skirt that was just slightly too small at the waist but we could make it work with some safety pins. I still took my binder and one of the pants in case I felt uncomfortable being in a skirt/being feminine. Anyways, this is the outfit I settled on sans the fishnets

I was super nervous on the way because my friend has a much larger friend group than I do, so I didn't know anyone else really well and I knew it was obviously going to be really crowded and loud so I tried to pregame a bit beforehand. Man, when I tell you the amount of relief that washed over me when I found out it was a gay bar, woof

Anyways, it was me, my friend, and five of her friends (Four gay and one straight who was there for vibes like me), and it was decent. I feel like I need something to do, and even though I knew clubs was just drinks and music for the most part, I was still kind of... bored? Idk, lmao. Still kind of fun, just feel like I need things to do with my hands at least

The newest guy in the group, and also the tallest, kept fucking buying shots for everyone, and there was a point where we raced to the counter to buy shots for each other, AND I WON, but my card declined because apparently I go out so little that my bank was like "This bitch is at the club? I don't fucking buy it. Lock it down boys!"

I ended up having half a bottle of soju and a glass of plum wine for pregame, four/five pickle shots (they were SO good, I had to resist the urge to keep going back), a lemon drop, some blue raspberry shot, pink lemonade shot, and a watermelon shot, and I STILL wasn't drunk >:(

Something about the loud music and atmosphere made it so it didn't affect me until I got home (I introduced the tall guy to my cats and showed guy my bookshelf of dragon books while my friend and I talked)

I tried dancing by mimicking one of the guys who was FEELING himself (like, draped across the other three when we went outside for fresh air), and he kept dropping into low squats REALLY EFFECIENTLY so I was trying to follow along and my legs were sore for three days afterwards

OH! and there was a person in a dinosaur button up shirt that I rushed up to and asked them where they got it from, and they said they stole it from their sister, but told me where to find their sister because she was there, and turns out its from Shein :/

I WILL get a dinosaur button up though, just not that one

[piratefalls]

Nosebleed Club Interview

Introduce yourself to your fellow writers / artists in the community (everyone can do this)! This can be a good way to discover other writers / artists as well. Please reblog with your responses

1. Name / Pronouns? 2. How would you describe your approach to writing / creating art? 3. Literature / art / films you’d recommend? 4. What are some themes / imageries you like to explore in your work? 5. What type of art did you make during your childhood? 6. What are you currently working on? 7. Where do you like to write / create art? 8. Which writers / artists (dead or alive) would you like to get coffee / brunch / dinner with?

Tagged by the awesome @sussexualtension FOREVER AGO I am so sorry.

1. Name / Pronouns? Kelly, she/her

2. How would you describe your approach to writing / creating art?

I don’t think I really have an “approach” so to speak? I just let whatever’s in my head come out when it feels like it. Any time I try to take a more deliberate approach, or make an idea happen, it all just dries up. So I guess if I had an approach it would be “it’s gonna marinate in your head until it’s ready, and then you will spend weeks writing it by hand, sorry about that”.

3. Literature / art / films you’d recommend?

I’m not really someone who appreciates art, and I’m so bad at recommending things when I’m not given parameters lmao. But I did just read The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun and it was delightful. And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie is one of my favorite mysteries of all time. Big fan of I’m Judging You by Luvvie Ajayi Jones. Her writing is so accessible, it’s like having a conversation with her. The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller is one I slept on for years and I shouldn’t have. Chef’s kiss.

As for films, I am very bad at watching movies. I either do full tilt movie marathons (I watched probably 20 when I was on vacation for Christmas), or I do not watch them at all. My most favorite of all time is Clue. 

4. What are some themes / imageries you like to explore in your work?

I love internal conflict of all flavors and the way those conflicts influence us as people, how they dictate our decisions. Basically character studies is where I think my sweet spot is. I haven’t had a chance yet, really, but I would love to find the right time to explore morally gray areas. I love living between the black and white of situations.

5. What type of art did you make during your childhood?

Not a lot, to be honest. All I did was read books or hang out with my friends. I think I did the occasional drawing, and it was enough to know that I am no artist lol.

6. What are you currently working on?

No writing projects, but I’m working my way through “Listen to Me” by Tess Gerritsen, the most recent in the Rizzoli & Isles series. After that I’ll probably go back to my queer romances, but I needed to break it up a little.

7. Where do you like to write / create art?

Wherever, honestly, but it almost always winds up happening in my down time at work. I also have a lot of snippets of things in my Notes app on my phone from when inspiration hits when I’m taking a hot bath lol.

8. Which writers / artists (dead or alive) would you like to get coffee / brunch / dinner with?

Oooh, um. Maybe Adam Silvera, because I need to know why he thinks it’s okay to make me cry all the time.

[staytheword]

hm, Chloe, you made me ugly cry for real 😭 First of all, thank you? I'm absolutely speechless about this. No words. None. 😭

I'm just so touched. That you read this, that you let it touch your heart. That you found something in it that spoke to you. All we want as writers is to connect with people you know? Try and find some truth, look for comfort, make sense of a senseless world. So reading this... I felt like I was sitting next to you and you were telling me all this face to face and I just couldn't help but tear up. Thank you so much. No words will be able to convey how grateful I am for this - you just made me believe in my writing again. For real. I don't want to get into it too much, but I've been having a hard time recently with writing, but you just made it so much better. Truly. Like, maybe writing is worth it? Maybe I can keep doing it and it means something? So thank you.

I refuse to believe that you and your friend did that, OH MY GOD????? This is insane???????? Like an ACTUAL book club holy shit I'm emo. You guys are insane. I love you for it. Please let me give you big virtual hugs. For thinking this is worth your time separately and together. Like omg? (also friendship goals fr) Thank you to the both of you, can I be your friend lol? also not to use curse words but holy fucking shit. ♡

PLEASE the shrek reference isn't weird at all, I love shrek and it's absolutely hilarious because I've heard this reference before about this Changbin and now I'm just sold. He is onion lmao. But thank you for seeing him like this. For what he is. For seeing why/how he was like that at first, how he grew. It's such a huge compliment for me when readers understand the characters, because it means I was able to write them correctly (or at least, show the right things to make you understand them) so yeah. Thank you so much for that.

like how he tells Felix to ask if the main character got home okay. THAT REALLY GOT TO ME. it was one of those “gotcha” moments when you smugly look at the imaginary camera, breaking the fourth wall, and whisper “I knew they still cared” like COME ONNNNNN.

THE WAY I LAUGHED AT THIS PLEASE THIS IS SO ACCURATE AND EXACTLY THE WAY I WAS WHEN I WROTE IT. Were you in my apartment when I wrote this Chloe? I think you were ♡ I'm very soft for early Changbin, Changbin that protects himself, Changbin that comes off as aggressive, he's so dear to me. Thank you for loving him like this.

Same thing for Felix. He's beloved and I totally understand why. I wanted him to be a good friend, but in a realistic way, not just as a support, I wanted him to be his own person, like he could be the main character, so that you felt that, I'm :') ♡ Yeah. Like I said it means so much that you see them this way. I'M SORRY for not giving him a love interest until the end. The series would have been 10 times longer if I had gotten into that (and I almost did). BUT this Felix I can't stop thinking about and he's definitely getting his piece of writing. I just want to honor him accurately. ♡ DO NOT WORRY felix is happy now, I genuinely believe it, I'M SO SORRY haahha ♡ That scene outside Minho's party is def one of my favorites, it was gut-wrenching to write but it needed to happen. It needed to be said - and it had to be Felix because of his position with both of them as you said. ♡ Thank you so so much.

Jisung is just such a good supporting character gosh how did you do this

AOISHFAOISHFASF please. :( I love Jisung so much. I have so much love for this quokka. One of the things i hate the most in fic is seeing him portrayed as a one-dimensional comic relief (actually this is true of all the kids, when they are reduced to a single trope or something it irks me). SO that's why I try to make all characters feel a little real, like actual people, even characters you barely see. It's just important to me, and I never know it if works, makes me truly anxious, but I do try, so that you would say that is actually a huge compliment. This Jisung still intrigues me to be honest. He's in his own world, but he's so loyal, so friendly, just a good soul to be around. But there's something there, isn't it? I'll try to find out. (a) ♡

UGH THIS FIC IS SO GOOD I HAVE PRACTICALLY NO ISSUES WITH IT

PLEASE STOPPPPPPPPP AH *actually can't handle compliments*

OK OK about Hyunjin. I absolutely FEEL you. I actually feel so bad about him being there so little. But there's a reason. When I wrote this series, I was absolutely convinced (and I still am) that I can't write Hyunjin correctly. I've read so many amazing pieces of writing with him and I just knew I couldn't write something as good, so I kept Hyunjin as a cameo, a gift for a friend, which gives the character a lot of meaning for me and her, but I totally understand your point. (BUT there was a point to his character and he's actually quite important, if you read the most recent one shot you'll get what I mean) ♡♡

WHAT IN THE RATATOUILLE IS THIS

Please this made me laugh so fucking hard because I watched ratatouille for inspiration and aishfoaoisfhaosfasf PL E ASE ♡

LET ME HUG YOU????? I love writing kissing scenes. they're my favorite ♡ (also love you too)

Chloe omg. You are just too kind and my brain cannot comprehend or accept all the compliments you've given me, but please know I'm keeping your words very close to my heart and re-read them regularly. When I doubt I will read this. I will remember that something I wrote touched you and it will make me feel better. THANK YOU. I have no other words and they are not enough for thank you. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Lots of love your way ♡ - Marianne

be my mistake

be my mistake — series masterlist  [ playlist ] [ back to general masterlist ] status: complete

this series (and this blog) are 18+ !! minors, please do not interact!!

• changbin x female reader, other stray kids members are featured, changbin and felix are brothers, felix is the mc’s best friend.

• non idol au, multiple timelines (past and present), slow burn, past relationship, best friend’s brother trope, exes to lovers, mcs hold grudges. a lot of guilt and a lot of fluff. 

• word count: 60k (60,215) 

• content: angst (a lot of it). strong language. drinking. trauma. mutual pining. smut (lots of building). fluff. mentions of depression, financial trouble, family issues. contains a scene of harassment (part two). each chapter will have its own warnings.

You’re delighted - you’ve finally found yourself a new job at a local restaurant. It’s everything you need, but when you meet the rest of the staff, you find out the head chef is your ex, Seo Changbin. What was supposed to be easy becomes very, very complicated. As you are both confronted with a forced reunion, you remember meeting him. Getting to know him. Falling in love with him. Him, your best friend’s brother. You’ve spent the past years convincing yourself you’ve moved on - but you haven’t, and neither has he.

• taglist: @tanyas97 ; @ughbehavior ; @softandfluffy ; @changbinluvr ; @bitchoftomorrow​ ; @babybabydoll ; @hyuneater​  ; @ipegchangbin​ ; @valreadsfics​ ; @i-say-choco-you-say-ice-cream​

• author’s note: Hi!! Welcome to this story. I’m glad you are here. Don’t hesitate to send me a message or to ask any questions. I hope you will like what I write. Take care of yourself! 

• part one: you, and a sunrise • part two: you, and a drive home • part three: you, and a whisper • part four: you, and blueberry pancakes • part five: you, and going back • part six: you, and the maple tree • part seven: you, and me

I’m hoping to publish some drabbles if it interests you. Thank you so much for reading ♡