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#lmao everyone's just laughing like get outta here don't come back
hangmanbradshaw · 7 months
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This but it's Jake on the ranch fucking around during a photoshoot that Nat set up to show off his cowboy side and Bradley is just watching him with heart eyes
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Jake intentionally being a little shit all day and driving Bradley crazy because he knows EXACTLY what that's gonna earn him that night when they're back at the nearby cabin they rented. At the end of the shoot it's like:
Jake: Ready to go?
Bradley: Yeah, I'm starving. Thinking I'll make us some chicken alfredo tonight.
Jake: Sounds like music to my ears
*they start to leave, jake starts to put the hat up with wardrobe*
Bradley: Oh no, keep the hat.
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doodle-do-wop · 1 month
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Lowkey you aren’t a good person
I was gonna ignore this because I highkey don't give a fuck babes✌️🤪😂😂😂😂 Do you see any flying monkeys carrying my fucks to give because I sure don't. Elphaba do you see the monkeys?!🙊
like Okay???? whatever??? say this off of anon so I can ignore you better
I'm not for everyone babes and I don't promote myself to be but also like you're just some sleemo wearing sunglasses with zero guts to say it to my face like a real person. If you're gonna make a statement, stand on business don't crawl to my ask box you roach
I don't have to 'prove' that I'm a good person to pests. Cause unlike you who spends time on anon saying nonsense I've got friends I adore and can brainrot with while showing them this lame anon ask and laughing. I'm living my best life, you're gathering dust in an inbox, we are not the same
lmao like what were you even expecting? Omggggg!!! 🤩🤩🤩✨thx for noticing XD, 💖i like, would've never guessed ✌️🤪😘
get outta here dog
what gave it away?:
liking keeper of the lost cities (full of red flags right there, total bad person behavior🚩)
reading (ugh how scandalous, we should go back to illiteracy)
drawing (HARD PASS! who even needs art am i right guys?)
drawing hot guys to feed the fandoms im in (how dare I, one with a knack for creating scrumptious looking guys feed a fandom art!!! the audacity!!! (dont worry yall I swear I'm working on gethen))
being funny (comedy isnt even real)
supporting my friends (come on heather chandler get it together)
listening to music (RED FLAG!!)
liking Percy Jackson and the Olympians (ugh a MALE protagonist?!)
liking Gallagher Girls (ugh a FEMALE protagonist?!)
supporting Alina Lavanza (women aren't allowed hobbies such as being hot, sexy, power hungry, or singing)
dancing (tsk tsk tsk)
saying Sophie's birthday is August 16 (she's clearly a resses pieces rising moon star!)
wearing shoes (HARLOT!!)
not wearing shoes (WENCH)
burping (THE HORRORS!!!!)
I had my fun but for realsies now: LMAOOOO GIRL BE FFR WHO DO YOU EVEN THINK YOU ARE 🤣🤣😚 stay mad girly poo
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deanmonlover · 2 years
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Of Flashbacks and Firsts
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to explain the background of this fic, it's starting from the present day and jumping back to when they first met when he was pre michael leading up to post michael. also disclaimer, this is my first fic in a really long time so go easy on me please 😭 I think this might become a series, I know it's not perfect but I just wanted to contribute to the corey fic thirstfest currently taking place lmao let me know if you enjoyed this and I will definitely make more of it!
You looked up at the ticking clock on the wall, a steady reminder that you still had an hour left of your shift before you finally were able to clock out and go home to watch that horrible horror movie marathon that you and your boyfriend, Corey had planned earlier on that week. You had finally convinced him to put in all the cheesy classic movies not that it took so much convincing on your part, he always looked forward to spending time with you no matter what you both were watching or doing. The both of you could be watching paint dry and he'd be the happiest man on the planet. The two of you were inseparable since the day you had met him becoming the calm to his storm that he so very much needed everyday. You were the constant he needed in his life, the moon to his stars as cheesy as it was it was the truth. Corey couldn't imagine a world without you, you were his and his only. You only thought the same of him, nothing could ever change that. And yes he may have been acting a little differently ever since the events on the night of the halloween party but after everything that had happened it was more than understandable. He had seen a lot more than you had that night in more ways than one.
———-——————-——————-——————-
The way you both had first met, it was odd thinking back to it. The Corey Cunnigham had stopped in to buy a drink from the very store you still worked at — it was a chocolate milk to be exact. He was almost like a cryptid, rarely out but when he was everyone stopped and watched him with judgement in their unforgiving eyes. Ruthless remarks were said behind his back and some even to his face. All you could do was smile empethcially at him and shoot daggers at the ones in the store who had something to say.
After you had checked him out, one thing led to another and before you knew it a loud commotion could be heard from outside after he had walked out. "C'mon dude just buy us some. We won't tell, we promise. Be a cool psycho babysitter and get us some beer." One of the teenagers smirked stepping forward to corner Corey, daring him to do something about it.
You had had enough of the people in this town and just wanted some peace and quiet for the boy. Why couldn't they just leave him alone? These thoughts plagued your mind and never left it. Who knew threatening some spoiled ass teenagers lives would be on your to-do list that day. Not you of course but they weren't going to get by with harassing the curly haired boy with the puppy dog eyes who literally had done nothing but come to get a drink.
"Listen up, you guys better buy something or get the hell outta here."
But of course not before one of them had shoved Corey to the ground catching him off guard, the bottle breaking with a loud shatter slicing his hand on the broken bottle of milk he had just bought. You had patched him up to the best of your abilities with bandages inside, not caring who saw you.
"Why help me? I mean they're not going to stop harrasing you now that you've helped me." Corey protested, holding out his rather large calloused palm that rested in your own as you continued to patch him up, making sure to be as gentle as you could wrapping the bandage around the open gash that made you inwardly cringe.
"Mmm, because I don't think someone like you deserves to be pushed around. You haven't done anything to them and besides they're just band geeks on steroids anyways. Not like they can chase me down with their clarinets and beat me up." A soft laugh escaped your lips as you finished up your handiwork before giving his upper arm a gentle squeeze.
Corey's face flushed instantly beneath his rimmed glasses at the feeling of your hand resting on him. He hadn't ever been this close to a girl well...ever. Everyone was terrified of him, "the psycho babysitter" as he was dubbed. But not you for some odd reason. You felt like you could understand him a whole other level just by gazing into those big brown eyes. They held so much within them, so many unsaid things that a book could be written about what they had seen.
"You uh–you know who I am already, don't you." He said matter of factly, peering up at you from the corner of his eye. Your heart sunk a little hearing the way he said it. Yes, you did indeed know who he was and what happened that fateful night. However, unlike the other people in Haddonfield you didn't blame him for the accident because it was just that — an accident. It wasn't as if he had done it on purpose, the boy sitting here in front of you couldn't hurt a fly much less a kid.
Giving him a small nod, you give his upper arm a squeeze. "I do know who you are or at least I know your name. What I don't know is how one girl might go about getting to know a certain chocolate milk addict." A surprised look crossed his face as he slowly looked up at you, a small shy grin accompanying it.
"O-Oh you mean me?" In his mind there was no way you wanted to get to know him better. No one even so much as wanted to be seen within five feet of him but yet here you were sitting practically on his lap wanting to know everything about him. He really felt like he could pass out at this point but he mustered up the ability to pull out his phone out of his jacket pocket, handing it over to you for you to put in your number.
"There now you can call me whenever you need rescuing." You teased lightly, unable to stop smiling at him. That dorky side grin pulling at the corners of his mouth as he tucked his phone back away in his pocket. The pull between you both was something that was unexplainable, a fire that had been ignited and couldn't be put out had begun to develop between you both and there was no stopping it once it was started.
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haysprite · 2 years
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question: what do you think frank and Julie's relationship is like?
Oh my goodness, okay, Anon, I hope you know I've spent the whole time mulling over this as I've tried to figure out how to put everything into words lmao. I have so much I wanna talk about with them, but I'm gonna try and limit myself here cause some shit just needs to be drawn instead. Once again, might be disorganized, but it's fine as long as I get the idea across haha. Also, disclaimer to everyone, pls remember THIS IS JUST MY OPINION AND INTERPRETATION ! I'm workin with what we got so far, and while I'm excited to see what the comic will bring in terms of these two, this is what I personally believe at this current moment in time lmao. Alrighty, with that outta the way, let's dive in.
First things first, I just wanna get it out that I believe they are a fucking POWER couple. These two are able to read each other like an open book due to how close they are. They tell each other everything, know each other's boundaries super well (as well as respect them), and are honestly pretty inseparable. It would take a LOT to break them apart. They get in fights, ofc, like any young couple, but they always make up in the end cause they don't like being mad at each other and can't stand being apart.
It didn't take them long to grow close after they first met! They hit it off really well from the beginning, but I wouldn't say it was a love at first sight kinda thing? More like, besties at first sight (seeing as how Julie was immediately intrigued by Frank), and then fall in love later cause of how close they become. I feel like after the first party that Frank showed up to, that's just how they'd spend every one of Julie's parties together. They'd join in on the fun at first, but then sneak away to just be alone.
They love to spend hours talking to each other, just the two of them discussing whatever topic comes to mind first. They'll take long walks together, or stay up all night just holding each other, never wanting to let go. Some nights they'll go wreck havoc together, with or without Joey and Susie, feeling like they're unstoppable when with the other.
You can't convince me that they don't show a lot of PDA either lmaoo. Hand holding, kissing, cuddling, you name it! They want everyone to know that they're together, and that their partner is THEIR'S. Julie loves to sit on Frank's lap a lot and get piggy back rides from him. She just loves to be held in his arms, feeling safe and protected by him. They fall asleep together a lot, and sometimes Julie will wake up being suffocated by Frank cause he's holding her super tightly.
When it came to them actually admitting their feelings toward one another, I feel like it honestly came pretty naturally. There wasn't any big confession scene or whatever, they just kinda realized they liked each other due to their constant "friendly" flirting, kissed, and then moved forward from there lmao. I will say tho, before this happened, Julie was constantly talking to Susie, asking her whether or not she thought Frank liked her. Susie had to stifle a laugh every damn time cause she thought it was pretty obvious, but she's not one to speak cause of her and Joey. Frank, on the other hand, never said a damn thing to Joey, but Joey knew. He could sense it. Also Joey and Susie probably made bets on who would confess first let's be reallll.
Friendly bickering/bullying would play a huge part in their relationship as well. They'd both bug each other by doing harmless stuff that they knew the other would get annoyed or pissy about. They would never take it too far, though, since they never wanted to actually hurt the other. They just wanted to have fun and be silly. Lotta fun pranks and all that jazz. Most of the time they'd cause shit together on other people, though. One of their favorite pass times is probably seeing who could steal the most valuable shit in a short amount of time from shops or houses, just a little game they'd play. Neither of them would try too hard to impress each other as well.
In, short, they fucking love each other. Frank and Julie are each other's ride or die, and they would never do anything to hurt the other. They cause a lot of mayhem, and overall enjoy each other's company. They're in love and you can't convince me otherwise. Thank you for coming to my DBD Talk 🤭💞
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ok you know i love my grumpy girls but snow's class combo sounds FASCINATING so i have to know more :D :D 8 - 10, 12, 20, 28, 60 and 69!
Snow is one of the wildest characters I've ever made, she's mechanically a winter eladrin but is flavor-wise human but Extra. and also she is literally Snow White but based very specifically off that Kristen Stewart movie ANYWAY
8) what songs remind you of them? if there are specific lyrics or movements, list ‘em!
i Love making playlists for my characters so i have been very slowly working on hers but there's only a couple right now. Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles for the upbeat vibes because she is generally a cheerful girl
and Still by Noah Kahan for the fact that her life has basically been miserable for a hella long time (the past coming back with the light in the morning/look down on myself like a patient in surgery/and i used to watch my mother move/like god was in the room)
9) when in their life were they most scared?
okay SO about a hundred years ago, Snow's brand new step-mom killed their dad and took over the kingdom and killed and imprisoned everyone in it, and threw Snow into a cell, and there was a part of that where she was running and nearly at the gate and then got snatched up and dragged back into the castle and i think that was probably the most acutely terrified she's ever been
10) what inspired this character's creation?
lmao okay SO my friend and i watched that 2011 red riding hood movie with amanda seyfried and he went "i could make a dnd character outta this" and then like changed up the lore a ton and made Red, who's family is Super Cursed. and then we watched the snow white and the huntsman movie with kristen stewart bc for some reason in my head i've literally always confused those two for like being in the same universe? or something?
anyways we watched it and i went "hey, i could make a dnd character outta this!" and actually Snow's backstory is fairly accurate to the movie with the minor changes of she is technically an elf now so she was imprisoned for a hundred years, and also her blood can break curses (but it might kill her)
and then we looked at each other and went "these two would be fun in a campaign together"
12) how have they altered their body? piercings, tattoos, biohacks, or other modifications—anything. why (or why not) did they (or someone else) make those changes?
Snow hasn't had the opportunity to do anything to her body and also has a very... warped sense of her physical self? because she is magically/divinely mandated as Fairest Of Them All (and her beauty is literally magical hence the sorcerer levels) so she's just always been treated that way, as the Prettiest Thing Ever and that has really divorced her sense of self from her body. so i don't think she's even really thought about the fact that she could technically do any of those things? it hasn't crossed her mind, really. i DO think further down the line when she gets a little more grounded in her body she would definitely do something though. piercings for sure, maybe tattoos??
20) what attracts them to someone—platonically and/or romantically, anything counts.
Snow had a childhood love (dead now RIP) and she loved him because of his sense of adventure and his honor and his dedication to things, and his laugh
a hundred years later she met his granddaughter (in her 40s with a kid i think) and liked her because of her love for her kid and her practicality, and her sense of justice and responsibility to take care of others
generally Snow likes people who are devoted to important things, who have a strong will, who care deeply, and who fight- not just for the world but also for themselves.
28) do they collect anything?
Snow is not quite conscious of it yet but i as her player have made the decision that she's gonna collect items from each adventure we go on (so far it's a spider fang and an eternally frozen leaf). its one of those things where again she never had the chance to but once she realizes she CAN she'll definitely want to.
60) what do they have faith in? what keeps them believing?
i don't know how to word what i wanna say here but like the one thing that has kept Snow going for all this time is that she very much does Not Want To Die. she wants to live. so i think her faith is in herself and also the future, the idea that there are things to live for once she finds them. there's also her faith in her kingdom and her people, both of which she needs to rescue from the evil queen. so its her own stubbornness that keeps her believing that there IS a way to do it without sacrificing herself
69) what's one secret they don't want getting out?
Snow is on the run so most things about herself she keeps close to the chest so that the queen won't hear about her and come running
but the number one actual thing that she will need to be pushed into THE most desperate of corners to admit is that her blood can break curses. because its incredibly powerful but also incredibly dangerous and could kill her depending on the curse, and its not something she's willing to risk so people knowing about it would just be dangerous
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hnychn · 4 years
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KARASUNO’S MANAGER !!
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SYPNOSIS — it’s a new year and the karasuno team decides to throw a new years party in the school gym
WARNINGS — tooth rotting fluff <3
AUTHOR’S NOTE — none of this is realistic but shut up and let me live laugh and love with the idea it’s real
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⇀ HAPPY NEW YEARS BABESS
⇀ so it all started out when noya and tanaka came up with the brilliant idea to throw a new years party
⇀ and since canonically, everyone in haikyuu are losers, everyone agreed 😀
⇀ of course you invited your boo kenma 😼 and the nekoma team
⇀ and kuroo invited the fukurodani team since bokuto heard about the party somehow
⇀ the party is held in the gym, it's byoc
⇀ "bring your own cups"
⇀ cause y'all broke broke 😭😭✋🏼
⇀ kidding . . . about the cup part, y'all are broke though . . .
⇀ anyways, so the team put you in charge of getting the drinks
⇀ . . . but they never specified non-alcoholic 😼
⇀ so you, being the six foot seven giant you were, got some alcohol
⇀ it was surprisingly easy
⇀ like the guy behind the counter didn't even ask you for an ID or anything and he probably assumed you were 21+ because of your features 🤡
⇀ i mean you do be chiselled by the gods themselves 🤪🥴
⇀ not me simping over you 🤺
⇀ so the party is about to start and you come in with literal bottle of alcohol like fUCKING JACK DANIEL'S AND WHISKEY AND RUM AND ALL THAT SHIT
⇀ and when daichi saw you with all the paper bags filled with bottles of alcohol he just-
⇀ . . . 🧍🏽‍♀️
⇀ "y/n. . ."
⇀ "yes? 🤠"
⇀ "why. . .why do you have alcohol?"
⇀ "you said to get drinks. ."
⇀ "i mEANT PUNCH-"
⇀ all daichi wanted to do was punch you 🏌️🏽‍♀️
⇀ LMAO BUT NOYA AND TANAKA TURNT UP WITH THE ALCOHOL
⇀ they poured that shit into those punch bowls? ya know? the ones in those cliche highschool movies
⇀ they got red solo cups and everything 🔫
⇀ anyways, so people start showing up and daichi panics because no sir, these minors aren't getting drink on his watch, but oops-
⇀ kiyoko locked him in the shortage closet 👁
⇀ "i'll let you out in 20 minutes"
⇀ because babes knew that's all it'll take for everyone to be blackout drunk
⇀ and she was right 💅🏽
⇀ fifteen minutes into the party, noya, tanaka, yamamoto, lev and a bunch of first years are drunk drunk.
⇀ suga, kuroo, asahi, and ennoshita are also drunk but like they're the chill typa drunk y'know?
⇀ they playing a game of uno with normal playing cards 🧍🏽‍♀️
⇀ kenma . . . doesn't want to be there BLESS HIM LMAO-
⇀ he's sitting in the corner, red solo cup in hand because kuroo took his pspspsp and won't give it back, even if he is drunk
⇀ and you- good god
⇀ YOU. ARE. D R U N K.
⇀ i'm talking the embarrassing type of drunk
⇀ you're dancing on one of the volleyball poles like a fucking stripper and bokuto is throwing napkins at you like they're ones please- 🔫
⇀ kenma is just in the corner staring like 🐚🌝 hello yes, officer? imma need animal control here asap.
⇀ LIKE DJFJD WTF IS MY BF DOINGG
⇀ he's embarrassed for you 😔✋🏼
⇀ but in the corner of your eye you see kenma sitting all alone so you go over to him, alcohol nearly spilling over the side of your red solo cup
⇀ "what're you doin all alone here, kitten?"
⇀ kenma crinkles his nose because you smell like alcohol, but he just shrugs
⇀ he says something but you can't hear him over he loud music, so you lean closer but you end up spilling your drink all over your shirt and you just
⇀ "ew it's sticky . . . i guess I'll just take it off"
⇀ SO YOU DO
⇀ IN A CROWDED ROOM
⇀ OF DRUNK POSSIBLY NOT STRAIGHT MEN
⇀ and holy fuck-
⇀ how knew you were so foine 🥴🥴
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kenma's eyes widen when you suddenly pull off your shirt, your chest still slightly damp from the drink spilling on you. he could feel heat rushing to his face the longer he stared. kenma wanted to look away, he really did, but it was something about the way you rubbed your hands over your abs and chest to wipe off the moisture and the way you looked down with hooded eyes that had him entranced. he couldn't look away, and by the sight of the other people in the room also staring at you with no shame, they couldn't either.
despite being drunk, you could tell people were staring and it filled you with a sort of confidence you only got in the privacy of your room with kenma. speaking of kenma, he wasn't fairing any better. his head was turned to the side to look away, but his eyes betrayed him and stayed focused on your chest.
you smirked.
kenma gasped as you suddenly leaned forward, your hand slamming onto the wall next to him and the other pushing him by the hip, your cold fingers slithering up his shirt and sending chills up his spine. your breathe was warm next to his ear and kenma's blush intensified.
"see something you like, kitten?"
kenma's breathing began to get heavier the longer you whispered in his ear, his chest and pants tightening. kenma refused to look up, knowing half of the people in the gym were staring, but he would by lying if he said it didn't turn him on more than he already was.
your stopped whispering in kenma's ear and began trailing kisses down his jaw and neck, leaving marks behind. kenma had to bite his bottom lip to stop noises from escaping his mouth, but his restraint was limited due to the small amount of alcohol in his system.
your fingers traveled further up his shirt and caressed his waist, pulling him closer to you. pulling away from his neck, you turned to his lips, sucking and biting on them as if it would be the last time you would be able to. kenma's neck was littered with hickies that, even in the darkness of the gym, were extremely visible.
but before things could go any further, you were ripped away from kenma by a fuming daichi, "first you bring alcohol and get everyone drunk, then you try to fuck your boyfriend in the middle of the gym? i'm gonna kill you, y/n."
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⇀ you were put on daichi watch for the rest of the night 😔🔫
⇀ but by the time 11 rolled around, you were a bit sober so i guess that's good
⇀ everyone gathered into he middle of the gym and counted down until midnight
⇀ kiyoko and yachi had hung some of those colour changing lights and gave the room some amazing vibes
⇀ and kenma was standing next to you, your arm slung over his shoulder as the lights hit his face perfectly and outlined every feature of his beautifully
⇀ you smiled down at him
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"it's already 2021, huh?"
kenma looked up at you and immediately looked away when he saw that you were already looking at him. even after months of dating and nights spent in each other's embrace, he still got nervous when you looked at him the way you were right now.
eyes so full of love and lips pulled into a satisfied smile.
"yeah. . . i guess. . ."
you laughed and pulled him closer to your side, kenma stumbled a bit and grasped onto the new shirt you put on. it was a spare that you left behind in the clubroom one day.
"c'mon kenma! new year, new possibilities! what are your new years resolutions?"
kenma shrugged, burying his head deeper into your side, "i don't have any."
5 . . .
you smiled, "really?"
you looked back up at the digital clock kiyoko hung up on the wall just for new years, your smile never faltering. kenma loved that about you, your ability to smile no matter what. no matter the circumstances.
4 . . .
"what about you?" kenma asked, a small bubble of guilt building in his chest for not answering how he thought you wanted.
you looked down at him with the same lovesick eyes and satisfied smile, kenma felt his heart stop, "me?"
you looked back up at the clock, "hmm. . ."
3 . . .
"i think. . . " you drew out, a playful smile on your face when kenma pouted at your long answer. he slapped your chest when you laughed at him.
2 . . .
"i think," you tugged kenma in front of you and rested your chin on his head, a lazy smile drawn on your face as everyone else yelled about, excited for the new year.
1 . . .
"i think i have everything i could ever want right here."
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!
kenma gasped as you suddenly turned him around, lifting his face by the chin. everyone around you cheered as the clock hit 12 and it was now January 1, 2021.
kenma's heart pounded when he saw the same old lazy smirk on your face and the same old lovesick look in your eyes; but no matter how many times he's seen it, he would always feel the butterflies fluttering in hit stomach.
"happy new years, kenma." you whispered as you pulled him into a kiss.
what a way to start the new years.
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⇀ everything after that was a blur
⇀ the party amping up as a way to start the new years and you were sure even daichi had a cup full of some unholy concoction of alcohol kiyoko made for him
⇀ when you woke up, you were in bed, kenma laying a your side.
⇀ with close on, y'nasties 👁
⇀ your head felt like it was going to explode and your stomach turned in ways it shouldn't
⇀ but you were too lazy to get outta bed
⇀ me 🤡
⇀ so you just pulled kenma closer and went back to sleep
⇀ dreaming of a happy future with the man in your arms
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taglist:: @stickystrawberrysyrup @420-uwu @nvthvlyy @kaiwai @goshizaki-jun @thetrash-mammal @dprhvn @bakuhore
a/n :: i'll add the read more thing in the morning, i gotta start getting dressed for the new year party. this was kinda rushed too so sorry if it's a bit jumbled or something
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rogerina-yee-haw · 6 years
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Joe Mazzello - NSFW Alphabet
a/n: I'm dedicating it to @starfleet-wannabe💓 babes, you make my days better!!! ily!!!(also I promise you that those imagines abt Joe x Reader will see the light once...I promise you, Erin)
I can't insert the "Keep reading" link from the tumblr mobile app, cause I'm really dumb, so if you don't want to read it - just scroll down k thx
this was requested many times and I'm sorry, my dudes....this is really bad....
warnings: obviously smut lmao, typos (sorry I've read it too many times just to check on errors and I can't look at this text right now, and there are obviously still bunch of mistakes, sorry, fellas)
Joe if you ever see this I'm sorry I hope it never happens
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Joe is the softest human being ever (well, mostly). It doesn't matter whether the sex was romantic and tender or rough and passionate, the aftercare is always the same: he helps clean you up and then make you both tea, while you lie in bed, talking and just spending time with each other.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of their partners)
As it was considered on this website, Joe is an ass man. You can count the times his hands were off your bum; he always keeps his hand on your lower back, and then, if he's in the mood (and he's always in the mood) he starts caressing your butt through your clothes, grabbing and tapping it when he can. It's not like the ass is the only thing he admires - Joe loves all of you, every part of your body and soul. But your ass is just so squishy and soft, and he can't get enough of it.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
If the sex is unprotected, he cums on your ass. Period.
D = Dirty Secret
Joe doesn't have dirty secrets. If he wants to try something, he'll tell you about it; there isn't something you two can't discuss.
E = Experience (How experienced are they?)
Joe is very experienced. He knows exactly what to do to make you scream his name in the bedroom.
F = Favourite Position
Doggy (unbelievable, right?). He also loves reverse cowgirl for obvious reasons. But it doesn't mean that you don't change positions while having sex. He loves seeing you on top, riding both of you into orgasm; he enjoys missionary and every other sex position, simply because he gets to try them all with you.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)
Come on, it's Joe we're talking about here. Sex is sometimes filled with him telling you stupid jokes, and always it turns out to be just like he's having a stand up show, while you lie down naked under him. He may crack up some dad jokes during the most tense moments, like when you're on top of him, and you're gasping and moaning, "I'm cumming", he'd say breathlessly, "Hi, cumming, I'm Joe", and you'll just burst into crazy laugh, even though the joke is stupid and not funny.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He doesn't like to be completely bare down there, so he just keeps it trimmed.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)
Joe is very romantic (we been knew). He just loves you so much that, even if the sex rough, he still wants and needs you to feel loved and comfortable. The man is so in love with you that he can't stop kissing and touching you, whispering how much he adores you.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
It's a must, if he's away filming. You two like to get yourselves off while talking on the phone, breathing and moaning messily while telling each other the filthiest things. Joe is actually an expert in dirty talk.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Joe's got hella lots of kinks. He's most preferable ones are:
Daddy kink. Do you really think this man doesn't like to be called daddy? If you do, you're wrong. Seeing you twirling in ecstasy when "daddy" is the only thing you can weakly whimper makes him bust a nut right then and there.
Edging. He's an asshole sometimes, alright? Joe enjoys it when you desperately beg him to fuck you. He loves when you're being restrained all day, and you walk around frustrated and horny. Not to mention that the thought of fucking you hard later turns him on immediately. (You love all of it too, even though you don't admit it sometimes; you're also fond of the idea teasing Joe like this later).
Slight voyeurism, but he likes to watch himself fuck you. He's bought a huge mirror for the bedroom, so that you two could have sex in front of it. He loves to pound into you from behind, holding your hair, slapping your ass and saying the dirtiest shit, like, "Watch yourself being wrecked by my cock" or "Look how pretty you look, look at your pretty tits boucing like this cause I'm fucking you so hard"
Dirty talk (it's considered as a kink, right?). Come on, Joe is a master at this. He'd spill the filth at random places; like you two are doing grocery shopping and he comes to you holding a watermelon, leans in and whispers in your ear, "I wish I could bend you over this shopping cart and fuck you till you can't move". And you just stand there bewildered, while he continues his routine. Or when you're on some fancy event, he'd put his hand on your waist and say to you quietly, "You look so sexy like this with this red lipstick. Can't wait when these pretty lips are wrapped around my cock". And your eyes go wide as you choke on your drink, while everyone looks at you weirdly.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Um, anywhere? Joe's just turned on by you 24/7 (as well as you are by him), so he doesn't mind having sex with you in restrooms, closets, empty hallways, in his trailer, your childhood bedrooms... Once you were at the party and caught your friends having sex; no wonder that fifteen minutes later you and Joe were doing the same thing in the bathroom, of course, in front of the mirror. Sex in his car is a must too, especially when you're driving - he thinks you look really hot while doing so. One time you were almost caught doing it in the car by the police, and since then you can't stop giggling like two teenagers while remembering about it.
But Joe loves sex in your bedroom. He just feels like this is the most intimate place on the Earth, where you two can be sincere and sensitive.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Anything. He's got the crazy sex energy, and literally anything can make him go. Once, when you were brushing your teeth, and wearing one of his old tee-shirts and baggy pajama pants, he decided it was a good idea to start teasing you, by leaving wet, mouth-opened kisses on your neck and by fingering you slowly. You evidently couldn't brush you teeth normally at that moment.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Joe wouldn't do something that'll harm and hurt both of you.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He's a pro in giving. You'll be screaming and grabbing his hair tightly, even though he barely touched you. And as you love giving too, he wouldn't ever be against it.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
You can experience every pace during the time you have sex. He may start roughly, pounding into you harshly, and then go slower, stretching you gently and whispering sweet nothings against your skin.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Joe loves quickies. Once when he was on set and had to leave for shooting in five minutes, he pinned you against the wall of his trailer and fucked the soul outta you. "It's just a preview of what you're getting at night", he winked at you while leaving and you just gasped. This man is something, y'all.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
You both love taking risks. Joe enjoys having sex when the guests you invited to your party may come at any moment; he once decided to start fingering you while you were at dinner with your family. "Such a good girl, taking me so well", he whispered in your ear when you struggled not to moan loudly in front of your parents. "I'm gonna fuck you so good when we get into the car. I'm gonna reward you for being such a good girl and not cumming here".
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last)
If he and you are feeling alright, 2 and more rounds. But if one of you is not okay, and the sex is just full of love and reassurance, there'd be just one round.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
You own toys. And Joe's using them on you. Especially when he's being a little shit - means when he's edging you.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Once you were having an unplanned and sloppy sex in the secluded bathroom at one after-party of the awards, and he pulled out right when you were about to cum. He initiated the sex and denied you both. That's how much of a "tease" he is.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He's loud when he's in the mood. He can moan loudly, and sometimes when you feel incredibly good he comes while screaming your name.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Joe's got a breeding kink. (It's not really surprising, though, this man radiates dad energy). He gets hard just thinking about you being pregnant with his child. Man wants to have a family with you, and that's why he can barely keep it in his pants when you're around (always).
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
His dick is a perfect size to make you scream. That's it.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Joe's sex drive is immeasurable. You have no idea how this man can always be horny and ready to fuck.
Z = ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
He falls asleep as soon as you two cuddle; when you start breathing in unison, he nods off pretty quickly, still holding you tightly.
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Lux & Dash
Lux: Good pilgrim, praytell Lux: is your hair just like that or do you have a routine Lux: I must know Dash: what's yours naturally trying to hang like? I'll hit you with what's outta this world 🐤 Lux: full samara, senpai Lux: turn off the tube QUICK 🙄 Dash: 🤣 bummer Dash: 🥥 oil is far out on all hair types even 🔪🔪🔪 Dash: aloe vera will make her 💪 Dash: lemme 🤔🤔.... Dash: do you fuck with 🐣?? Lux 🙇 down at your feet, oh lord is the most high place! 🙌 Lux: the chooks here lay too many for us non-strict-vegans to get through Lux: save my hair AND cut down on our foodwaste? Lux: I will be ♕ and you will be ♚ Dash: 2 🥄 🥑 oil, same of 🥥 & aloe vera gel Dash: 2 raw 🥚 Dash: heat it & leave that baby on for time Dash: 30 mins ++++ Dash: 🚿 with whoever Lux: the CP of my hair is gonna rival Rapunzels Lux: 💃💃💃 Lux: I promise to never ever clock you with a 🍳 Dash: 💛👼👑 Dash: you'd be choice with her 🌺🌺🌺  look Lux: 😘 plant 🌱 for every 🌺 and compliment you gimme then we can talk about april showers coming earlier than anticipated☔️ Dash: right on Lux: Is your full name Dashiell/ can I call you that anyway Lux: because its really fitting and if you care to know I shall tell you for why Dash: it's not but if you're down I can be down too Lux: SO; here was my thought 🚄 climb aboard and ride the rails with me for a sec here Lux: Dash ➼ Dashiell ➼ meaning page boy ➼ page boy = ring bearer ➼ ring bearers of the One Ring ➼ Samwise Gamgee = you AM I RIGHT OR AM I RIGHT Dash: 🤯🤯👍 Lux: I know, allow me to scoop up the remainder your 🧠 from the ceiling and put it into a handwoven jute tote for you to take home Lux: I been knew you love food as much as him, its like 1845-49 up in here after you've come around 🥔💀 Dash: tight gestures like those 👐 gotta keep you in the groove here 🥰 Dash: trust you to pick up on a royal appetite Lux: I'm the holy daughter returned, boy Lux: only eating manna from heaven, though if anyone in this place could make a 😋 cake like back home, I'd let them eat it Dash: set to call you that when I fall in with my 🎺 but do you go by anything shorter on top? Lux: Hebrews 13:2!!! Lux: so that explains where you come from Lux: more in a cloud of smoke than holy light but they could only get so many details dead on in the good book Lux: I'm Lux, of course, X if the mood takes you but I can't make it any easier for you Dash: here to make us 👀 the light, yeah? righteous 👼 Lux: The mission of making my parents proud of me again is not one I am currently embarked upon but service to God and all his creations was always their jam Lux: supposedly Lux: but if you're here to get me to renounce my sex, along with the devil and all his works (duh), oh angelic messenger, I still have to decline Dash: aere perennius is the vibe I'm picking up from you, Lux Dash: it'd be a heavy mission Lux: You owe the world a forest for that one because words like that evoke so many cardinal sins within me Dash: do you know about 🎋? Lux: Tell me Dash: it's a tanabata tree, for wishes Dash: they set the bamboo afloat on the river or on 🔥 after the festival Lux: We must participate here Lux: and one day I will go to where the festival is meant to be and you must come because you introduced me to the magic Dash: we can go to Japan, Sao Paolo or LA, they all have 'em Lux: Of course Lux: I seem to have traveled in the wrong direction Lux: to the wrong coast and onwards Dash: at least you ain't separated from your lover by a 🌌 Dash: that's the legend that goes with the festival Lux: oh Lux: how heartbreakingly beautiful Dash: but they are allowed to meet once a year on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month Dash: it's not a total downer Lux: so young Dashiell believes it is better to taste heaven but the once than to never know it at all Lux: good Lux: I like you Dash: I try & get my kicks tasting as much as I can as often as I can Dash: though yeah, once over never Lux: can't take on the 🌌 Lux: though perhaps you can, with a name like a superhero Dash: no sweat 💪 Dash: if I don't ✂ my hair off 😏 Lux: 😱 Lux: I do have weak ankles! Lux: you avoid barbers and I'll avoid heels that are taller than... Lux: five Lux: no six inches Dash: 👌👌 Dash: if you avoid any heel I'll be able to reach you way out though Dash: no 🛹 jumps 💫 Lux: YET Lux: until you remember where you parked your chariot of fire, you give me reason to kick off my heels, and I'll happily do it Dash: 💃? Lux: Both in worn levis, both in torn T-shirts Lux: of course, that's the only way Dash: there's a tanabata song, I could sing it for you Dash: the translation at least Lux: 😻🙏 Dash: it'll be a blast Lux: 🚀🌠 Dash: have you 👀🎸? Dash: mine's MIA Lux: you can borrow my girl Lux: for one song Dash: I won't hog her like a flake, digging the trust too much Lux: you can abuse my trust just go easy on Dolores Lux: she's a folksy kinda gal, if you kick it punk rock she'll 😳😩 Dash: she'll stay 🍒💖 I'm about a gentle touch Dash: what kind are you? the words are the festival's but I don't know the 🎶 Dash: I'll make it yours, like Lux: as angelic as you look Lux: a sinner can only but hope not Lux: how about you sing it for me but play it like its yours Dash: cool with me Lux: then the song can be ours Dash: I think you're unreal Dash: the most Lux: Oh, because I am Lux: and you are perfect because you know that's a compliment Dash: this fly by of yours is gonna last some time, yeah? Lux: though not compelled by God or a power higher than my own Lux: this is where I'm meant to be Dash: me too Lux: I know Lux: I divined you out of 🌟✨☀️🌌 Dash: we planting that forest to grow together or on opposite sides? Lux: one 🌎 one 💓 Dash: roots are gonna get tangled if you keep laying down your 💓 next to mine Lux: I can grow anywhere Lux: you don't need to worry about me Dash: 🌻 Dash: you're gonna make this place better, I feel it Lux: you have family here? Lux: in the commune Dash: yeah Lux: do you like it here Dash: I love it Lux: I do too Lux: its Lux: loving Dash: when did you come through? have you met every 🐤 & 🐈? cos you should meet everyone Dash: feel all the love Lux: I've been in Dublin about... a month, two Lux: feels like forever Lux: but here I'm a total 🍒 Lux: I met Hazel completely by fate at a women's health drop-in she was running a few weeks ago, told her my story and here I am Dash: farm tour 1st 🍀 tour 2nd Lux: Coming Lux: 🎸 in tow Dash: safe Lux: and sound Lux: I'm just tryna catch a mirror moment Lux: not enough, if I had any complaints but 🤫 Dash: which room's yours? I'll make space to hang another one near Dash: then the 🌙 Lux: we'll end the tour there Lux: my contribution Dash: now that's sound Lux: Do you know about me? Dash: what about you? Lux: That I don't have girl parts Lux: I won't be accused of that kind of trickery Dash: I won't accuse you of any Lux: ☺ Dash: you set the pace, I'm in it Lux: You're keeping up spectacularly Lux: now, where does my tour start? Dash: orchard Lux: 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍇🍈🍒🍑🥭 Dash: there's the best 🍏🍎 tree, easy to climb whatever shoes you're wearing Dash: you can see the whole farm from the top Lux: [Show up honey] Dash: [😍 at her we all know] Lux: [dressed hyper-femme as always and way more dressy than most here we know, doing a curtsey like 🤭] Dash: [holds out a 🍎 like he's the 🐍 & she's Eve, looking cute and tempting] Lux: [obviously taking it and taking a sassy bite] Dash: [into it obviously hand holding through this orchard tour for Winnie's sake] Lux: [gonna climb this tree] Dash: [do it kids] Lux: [gonna have to help her even though she's left the heels behind] Dash: [thankfully he's not that much of a dick that he won't, imagine just like byeeee] Lux: [😂 no one needs anyone falling out of a tree rn] Dash: [we aren't killing either of you off so just enjoy the view] Lux: ['it looks so big from up here, when you're in it, it feels...close'] Dash: ['it's big but the fam's bigger' gives her a look like you'll see, genuinely buzzing cos does love it here] Lux: [the biggest smile 'why don't you live here?'] Dash: ['my mum & dad don't, & that's their biggest drag, they ain't hip but they ain't real hassle' casually don't mention that Cosmo exists okay then] Lux: [nods 'everyone should get as much family as they can'] Dash: ['you can meet 'em too, it's cool'] Lux: [excited puppy look like really?!] Dash: ['my mum used to be a rad skater & now she sits around bench racing at her own bone yard, it's a good space to hang loose'] Lux: [just listening like no way! 'what about your dad?'] Dash: ['he's more easily bugged, we don't always vibe, but shit stays chill'] Lux: ['yeah but what did he used to be? before he got old and boring too'] Dash: ['he played football' with a shrug cos so uninterested we know] Lux: ['ooh, was he famous?'] Dash: ['not really'] Lux: ['bummer'] Dash: ['you wanna be famous?'] Lux: [is thinking like hmm 'I don't NOT want it but its not my number one all-time dream...not even top ten'] Dash: ['what is?'] Lux: [puts her index fingers to the corners of his mouth to make him smile] Dash: [laughs] Lux: ['you?'] Dash: ['I'm thinking we should start a band' shout out to Ali your lowkey grandma] Lux: [a look like um yes, how have you not and putting three fingers up to let him know its made the list] Dash: [starts to climb down like come on, so much to see] Lux: ['don't ditch me!' and running after him] Dash: [takes her all around the vegetable patches next, introducing her to any peeps they come across] Lux: [living laughing loving honestly we can skip] Dash: [imagine all the cute animals they would have, I hope none of them die in the fire I'll cry] Lux: [lmao animals usually bolt when fire so they should be fine, unless they then get hit by cars or some shit] Dash: [I'm saying they are all A okay bitch] Dash: [post tour skip] Dash: gotta hit home Dash: later? Lux: Undoubtedly 😊 Dash: we'll jam Dash: 🤔 band names Lux: I'll throw it out there Lux: I wonder if anyone can drum drum Lux: not just drum circle Lux: I'll ask that too Dash: I'm jazzed Lux: 🎺 Dash: you play the harp 👼? Lux: ☺😋💕 Lux: If only Lux: there are bass' and banjos and plenty of acoustics Lux: I'll go thrifting and see if I can find one Dash: wait for me Lux: we should see how many wild instruments we can find Lux: one for everyone Dash: your 🧠⚙️ is far out Lux: but not far enough you can't reach me Dash: 🌌 can't stop me, yeah? Lux: nope Lux: not as long as you got that hair Dash: [selfie like it's still there] Lux: Thank God Lux: don't need to 😢 today Dash: you don't need to cry any day baby Lux: Keep me smiling Dash: I've got you Dash: we all have Lux: 💕 Lux: I really thought I knew family and community before this, you know Lux: but I was wrong then and this is better Dash: right on Lux: You're adorable Dash: I've got 👀 for you too Lux: I know Lux: your 👀 are like Lux: coffee Dash: 🧠⚙💖 Dash: yours are like jumping into a river Dash: they get bluer the deeper you go Lux: oh Lux: I think I want you back here now Lux: where did you go again Dash: 🛹🗲 Dash: my parents place Dash: you wanna meet me there? Lux: I'm not in the mood to meet your parents right this second, forgive me Lux: but by the time I've finished dinner here and 🚲 over Lux: sounds good Dash: idk if they're there cos I'm not yet Lux: so we can be alone alone Lux: that'd be novel Dash: yeah Dash: it feels like so much empty space Dash: for the number of bodies who live in it Lux: do you feel lonely there Dash: nah, it's got a good feel Dash: I grew up in it Lux: That's a feel you can't buy Dash: I'll show you my 👶📸 Dash: they're wild Lux: you musta been so cute Lux: your face is still 👶 now Dash: no ✂ then either Lux: so mowgli Dash: oh no, is this a trippy topic for you? Dash: I didn't think Lux: it's okay, I like hearing about happy kids Lux: its a sin to be envious of or covet other people's happiness Dash: Lux Lux: 😊? Dash: I don't think I believe in sin Dash: so if you wanna harsh on my good vibes, you know, I won't be 😡 Lux: Oh, sin is very real, its just whether you believe you'll be punished for the sins that are written about Lux: I appreciate you but I've got nothing to be 😡 about either Lux: 🤞 Dash: you can hit me with a shut up any time Dash: I'll still dig you Lux: I enjoy our conversations Dash: yeah? Lux: absolutely Lux: you're a beautiful 🐺 boy Dash: you're the most beautiful 🦊 Lux: never stone cold Dash: nah, the hottest Lux: I feel it Dash: 👍 it's the mood you gotta stay in Lux: with you around, that shouldn't be a problem Dash: we'll keep vibing Lux: did you like it Dash: you want me to say what I know you could tell Dash: I'll write you a 🎶 Lux: First hit for the band? Lux: I'll be famous after-all Dash: I've been listening Dash: I understand what you want Lux: and you're gonna give it to me Dash: that's my action for sure Lux: roll 20 please Dash: come be alone with me Lux: dash dash dash Lux: you're so pretty and fun and cool and I want you again Dash: [sends her the deets to where his house is] Lux: so far Lux: I must like you huh 😏 Dash: yeah it's a drag where I live Dash: but it's new heights that you like me Dash: 🚀💕 Lux: why wouldn't I? Dash: idk Dash: do you know about me? Lux: I know enough to like you Lux: what do you think would make me unlike you Lux: let's compare Dash: it's not all laid back the shit that other girls say Lux: you're a 💔 Dash: I'm not out here making a game of it like that Dash: but it's happened for real Lux: Oh dear Dashiell Lux: my heart was broken long before I got here Lux: and I've had to severe and untangle roots so much deeper than yours could ever be Lux: I told you, there's no need to worry about me, you can't hurt me Dash: that's fucked up Lux: Perhaps Dash: can I make it any better? Lux: no Lux: but that's okay Lux: now is better, there's no need to fix what's been Dash: I wasn't being plastic before, you're home now Lux: I feel it Lux: I have no choice but to give up my old definition but I'm less scared and 😢 at the prospect of the redefinition now, forced though it was Dash: it'll be okay Dash: we'll make it happen that it's only that Dash: or like better Lux: you're not a bad person Lux: I can tell Dash: if I'm someone you like, I'm cool with it Lux: good Lux: I need people right now, you know Dash: everyone at the farm, they'll be what you need Dash: they are for me Lux: what do you need them for? Dash: a blast Dash: my other fam want me to change some shit I do Lux: 🚀👌 Lux: I get that Lux: is it stuff you can't change or don't wanna Dash: idk if I recognise the difference Lux: sounds like a can't, then Dash: stepping into new 👟 feels like a bad scene Dash: I fuck with the ones I've worn in Lux: That's up to you Lux: I like new shoes Lux: maybe they're just worried your feet are getting all scrunched outta place Dash: yours are groovy though Dash: not handed down Dash: they fit you Lux: I had to steal 'em though Lux: and when my dad found 'em they sent me away Dash: a 🦊 like I said Lux: have you seen the fox and the hound? Dash: nah Dash: it's disney yeah? Lux: Yep Lux: I'm gonna make you watch it Dash: I'm about netflix & chill Lux: We'll chill first Lux: its real sad Lux: 😭 Dash: I be trying to chill with you nonstop though Dash: how bad do you want me to 👀 at things other than you Lux: 🤭 Lux: maybe your cinematic education can wait Lux: if we're truly to make the most of alone alone time Dash: lay it on me that I'm an ugly crier another day Dash: we're making beautiful things happen Lux: you're Lux: just like Lux: seraphic Dash: around you, I gotta be Lux: nu-uh Lux: I can't tell Lux: I fell out of God's favour like a long time ago Dash: you can tell Dash: you're still 👼 Dash: the fallen ones were the most beautiful anyway, yeah? Dash: god's a jealous 🐈 Lux: All angels are beautifulc Lux: and genderless actually, like God Lux: beyond our limited understanding, better Dash: cool Lux: for them Lux: its self-idolatry if you want it for yourself Lux: 🚫 Dash: if I want you for myself, what sin is that? Lux: you actually wanna know? 'cos I've always thought this particular subset of sins sounds unintentionally hot Dash: I'm listening intently Lux: peccata clamantia Lux: The sins that cry to Heaven for Vengeance 🤤 Lux: they're the ones that God will deliver his justice upon, lots of people only know about the seven deadly Lux: but they're the least serious, actually Dash: shit Lux: guess that's why it feels so good Lux: shall we? Dash: 🌌 & god trying to stop us but I'm 💪 Lux: you want me Dash: yeah Lux: then you can have me Dash: show up Lux: I am Lux: ⏲ Dash: right now though Lux: if only my bike had wings Dash: that can be your festival wish Dash: mine too cos I've waited fucked up amounts of time for you Lux: 💡 Lux: your mind, boy Lux: though patience is evidently not your virtue, I'm not mad about it Lux: at all Dash: idc about virtues if you're a sin Lux: you're making me all pink Dash: it's a beautiful colour for you Lux: you're the loveliest 🐺 I've ever known Dash: I wanna be Lux: you are baby Dash: you're like a song I can't get out of my head Dash: & it's the most Dash: I'm so connected to every word Lux: You make me feel really...high but it that warm, soft focus way where there's no bad thoughts or feelings at all, no doubt or regret or shame creeping in, just the good washing over you again and again, like that split-second after you cum but Lux: prolonged Lux: its crazy, you're crazy Dash: we can live in it Lux: lets Dash: I'm in Lux: 🎡🎢🎠 Dash: 🎪🤹 Lux: 🤡 Dash: 🦁🐯 Lux: 🐘 Dash: 🍿 Lux: 🥜 Dash: 🐿️ Lux: 😱 Lux: how could you Mr Squirell Dash: he's gotta eat Lux: He could've just asked Dash: he don't know you like that Dash: thought you'd say nah Dash: I tried to persuade him he wasn't right on & you're 👍 but I must not 🗨🐿 Lux: 😂 Lux: he's more than likely from my homeland, I'll speak to him Lux: can't understand your accent Dash: gabh mo leithscéal Lux: 🤗 what did you say?! Dash: pardon me Dash: is 🗨🍀 on your list? Lux: I've always wanted to Lux: no one at my father's church really spoke it Lux: or would teach me if they did Lux: will you? Dash: my mum taught me Dash: hers never spoke it either Dash: your turn to bring me an 🍎 Dash: but yeah Lux: 😣 damn Lux: someone else here might, I've heard loads of languages flying about Dash: eu também sei português Dash: also from that side of the fam Lux: I 👀 that Dash: Arlo & his brother & sisters are my cousins Lux: Ahh Lux: that's cool Lux: they're so cute Dash: there's many more but they don't live at the farm Dash: you have to catch 'em when they fly by Lux: I'll be sure to do that Lux: do they all have lots of kids, how are there so many Lux: no offense Dash: started with 11 Dash: & most of 'em had 👶s Lux: ELEVEN Lux: 🤔💡 Lux: are you mormons? Dash: 🌼 children ☮ Dash: it was a big-ish fam before that though 👵 had 8 Dash: & she's no hippie Lux: why are you an only-child? Dash: I'm not Dash: I've got an older brother Lux: oh, me too! Lux: he's 13 years older Lux: I was a miracle mistake baby Lux: where's yours Dash: at ⚽ training I think Dash: that's his bag Lux: oh he's not 👴 Lux: you didn't mention him before Dash: he's 18 months + on me Dash: but we're in different 🌌 Lux: I feel you Lux: it musta been nice when you were kids though Lux: I loved when there were kids in the congregation but people always moved on, from God or physically Dash: nah, it's been hassle from the jump Dash: he's 🏆🥇💪 Dash: I'm 💫🚀👀 Lux: you don't like him huh Dash: he's a drag Dash: we're usually jiving 🥊 there's no ☮ & 💓 Dash: messes with my equilibrium Lux: You gotta protect yourself Lux: I get it Dash: I knew you would Lux: 'course Lux: its the same with my brother and my mom Lux: they still 💓 me but they can't see me Dash: do you 💓 'em? Lux: oh of course Lux: they're my family Dash: do you wish you could see 'em? Lux: I wish I still lived with them Lux: but I understand why I can't Dash: do you get to 🗨? Lux: no Dash: can't you? if your dad didn't find out? Lux: No Lux: not unless I'm going to make efforts, make changes Lux: and I can't and that's two eternal sins Lux: at least Lux: could make a case for 3 Lux: so they have to turn away, you see Lux: they all love me but there's nothing they can do until I do Dash: I'm sorry Dash: that everything's so heavy for you Lux: you don't need to be sorry Lux: not your transgressions Dash: but I don't want you to change Dash: & idc if it's a sin Lux: you're sweet Lux: they just want to save me from hell Dash: we're gonna have to live forever Dash: to save you Lux: We better find the philosopher's stone Lux: or the fountain of youth Dash: the 🐿 will help Dash: he digs you now Lux: he's a wizard Lux: knew it 😏 Dash: most animals have magic Lux: true facts Dash: 🦊s who are unreal 👼s especially Lux: you're such a flirt Lux: 😋 Dash: yeah 😏 Dash: that's my magic 😍💖 Lux: I can't disagree Dash: 💭😘 Lux: you can dream 'til I get there Dash: I'm 👀 for your 🚲 Lux: I'm meant to be up on the balcony, not you Lux: love some role reversal Dash: yo don't be on the rebound, Romeo 💔 Lux: awh you jealous Dash: 🤣 Dash: of someone you forget at the start of the play as soon as you 🕰 me? nah baby Dash: but it's salty to the other 💘 Lux: It saves her life Lux: she's fine, honestly, thriving Dash: okay then yeah, I am jealous Dash: of her thrive Lux: poor boy Dash: it's no bummer, like Dash: she ain't gonna be immortal, that's me & you Dash: our fam Lux: there's only so much magic to go around Dash: however much there is, we gotta use it right Lux: 🎺 that's holy decree Dash: & royal 👑 Lux: okay sweet prince Lux: 🤭 Dash: if I go solo from the band, there's an outta sight name Lux: you could do so many covers 💜 Dash: it'd be groovy Dash: but I ain't leaving the group Lux: not before its started Lux: have some loyalty, boy Dash: yo not ever Lux: we gonna do a blood oath Dash: use your hair as a 🔪 before the 🥑 & 🥥 hits Dash: or the ✂ I don't Lux: 😂 you're horrible Lux: and its far too limp for that Dash: nah your hair is 💣 Lux: ☺ Lux: really Dash: yeah Lux: it grew quite fast Dash: 🔮✨ Lux: I'm gonna grow it as long as I can Dash: there might be a better recipe Dash: I'll 🗨 to every 🐤 on the farm Lux: I wish I had curls like them too Lux: most of them Lux: alas Dash: you can borrow mine Lux: you're the bestest friend in the whole 🌌 Dash: 🤞🤝👐 Lux: let down your long hair then Lux: I think I've arrived Dash: [let her in and give her a house tour boy] Lux: [we clearly need Cosmo to come back like Dash did in that convo jussayin] Dash: [payback tbh so yeah we do] Lux: [she'd just be chatting up a storm, awks] Dash: [casually steer her to your room as fast as you can like] Lux: [just being like wanna come watch fox and the hound lmao] Dash: [she's so cute bye] Lux: [at least Cosmo won't be rude to you, even if he is like umm] Dash: [just thinks she's high probably] Lux: [most likely] Dash: [rude but fair] Lux: [when is your brother not as far as you're concerned] Dash: [exactly dr phil] Lux: [anything else we wanna though?] Dash: [we know what's up I think we can post it]
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pokefanbri · 4 years
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Positivity brings out happiness & the best in people, any kind gives us the push we need nomatter the cards we're dealt & sometimes it can be all we have to get by.
I don't have time nor energy for negative attempts to bring me down, sorry not sorry.
I was taught by some1 very dear to me, to stand up for myself more with courage & to fight on my toes with a cool head on my shoulders, while being rude about it or not lol.
I learned if I feel like I need to rid myself of something that doesn't positively affect me,my life, or others in some way...with however much coldness, I won't hesitate to say bye 👋 its not my problem anymore lol. 🤔
I just realized from personal experience, that statement in itself is super ironic on so many levels lol dang 🤯 🎮 😅 Never did I ever think id be on the receiving end of it though but I'm okay with it now so its whatever, 💧 under 🌉 😊
I respect anybody's ill natured opinions or shortsighted views of me, I learn to brush it off cuz only I understand myself & my good natured intentions...don't mean u gotta 🤷‍♀️ lol. I know it in my heart im a good person, i thought it be somewhat rare now in my 30s for god or the opposite to give me a stingy slap in the face as hard as it did, boy was I was wrong lol...at this rate I'd say a good or bad drastic life change happens every 5-10yrs for me 😅 but life really hasn't been very kind or dandy to me much like most but I power through in my own way. Everyones paths are different, but im not the only one given a cruel joker card in the deck of life am I right? 😂 So one could possibly sympathize or relate for sure. I don't expect people to get it, I would appreciate from anyone though even an ounce of kindness & respect.
Im timid & shy on the surface but once someone gets to know me for real, I'm a frikin outgoing delight to be around. Okay? lmao. But if u think the disability I've had since I was 19, that does infact limit some of the things a normal person can do such as work or standing/sitting for long periods of time & even think straight in general, is something to belittle or laugh at instead of being an encouraging supportive friend, then ur not 1 of mine period. I used to thrive more independently like an average person til all hell broke lose in my brain when i was young, so coming back to it now is a major adjustment & is very stressful..but im proud of myself for trying.
But yea ➕ vibes only 💯, Im always a positive happy go lucky joyous person 9/10 without depression getting in the way ofcourse....& if thats a crime then I don't wanna be right 🤷‍♀️ I'm just trying to live my best life like everyone else.
I say things the way I see it, it builds character lol. Everyone knows I'm the brutally honest type & I don't hold back especially if it can help better others in some way then whats the harm in speaking my mind, most things that come outta my mouth are positive anyway 😊 I can only comprehend what to say through writing though..cuz irl my words come out like anyone else's with a side of jumbled word salad 😅 But if im ever to pass away for any reason, I wanna leave some kind of legacy behind..as stupid as it may seem lol. And when that time comes I give my friends & family consent to quote anything good ive ever written.
Being a heck of a fighter in regards to myself & for the sake of others, its what im known for, & I encourage anyone to find their inner strength if life seems too difficult or throws curveballs at u in any given direction lol
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I should've posted this here instead of fb as it is long, but screw it lets do both lol
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Edie & Buster
Edie: oi my sister there Buster: She's at work Buster: Are you alright? Edie: tell her come home so everyone get off my dick Buster: I can't tell her what to do Edie: ha yeah u can Edie: i know how she is Buster: Come on Edie: What I thought you want everyone 2 know Edie: or that not include me Edie: wouldn't be the first Buster: 'Course you're included, Eds Buster: Alright fine, I'll be honest Buster: I don't wanna tell her to come home Buster: Do you get that? Edie: oh i get it Edie: its fucked up but i'm with it Buster: Call me a selfish cunt if you want but that's how it is Edie: Why'd I call u that Edie: u didn't do that shit den bounce on us Buster: Yeah but I want her to stay here Edie: yeah u getting ur dick sucked Edie: i said i get it Buster: It's not like that Edie: it is tho man Edie: i'm sorry to tell u actual Edie: but whatever she chat, you ain't special to her, you know Edie: that's just how she do Buster: Nah, babe Buster: It's different Edie: oh mckenna mckenna Edie: thought you was smart Buster: I am Buster: That's why I know what I'm saying is legit, yeah? Edie: the timing ain't got u fucked Edie: oh no i'm in trouble, here's another distraction, like Buster: Like I said, it isn't like that Buster: Me and her have been together long before Drew did what he did Edie: and she's wanted drew to pipe her long before you Edie: ain't none of us believe that just came outta the blue Buster: Don't Buster: She's never wanted him like that Buster: It was one sided, all from him Buster: Yeah, he's been playing that way for a while too but Edie: I'd hear her and Indie talking you know Edie: now that's fucked up, catch her talking to me like that and he ain't even wanna be my dad Buster: What do you reckon you've been hearing? Edie: 'low it, KNOW what i hard Edie: heard, whatever Edie: she thought he was soooooo hot, like every other bimbo in this family Buster: Maybe for one second when she was a kid Buster: It doesn't mean anything other than that Edie: oh boy you drank too much koolaid Buster: Nah Buster: I've been there when he's been acting up, I've seen it for myself how much she wasn't about him like that Buster: Trust me Edie: obvs she ain't gon be wid it when you're about Edie: like at the baby shower Edie: she ain't thick Edie: smarter than u Buster: She isn't ever Buster: It's fucked up Buster: He is Edie: save the spiel baby Edie: he's this family's scapegoat for when they wanna do the fuck shit they wanna do Buster: He's a cunt regardless Edie: u cute Edie: don't let her play u the same Buster: You wish, babe Buster: I know exactly what I'm doing Buster: Do you? Edie: haha Edie: babe, is it really that good it worth dis Edie: i always know what i'm doing Edie: whatever i want Buster: It's worth way more than this shit Buster: Believe it or not Buster: Like it or not Edie: no one like it but what they gon do right Buster: They can do whatever they want Buster: So can I Edie: dun know who u think u preaching at or why Edie: i don't give a fuck what u do Edie: came here cuz i need em off my dick and back on hers and i'm outta here Buster: Why are you chatting at me then like you wanna save me from her or something? I don't buy it, Eds Buster: You could have just said that and left Buster: You care Buster: So talk to her Edie: i care bout me Edie: they're pissing me off more than normal Edie: shame if they get u too but ain't gonna be crying over it baby Buster: Come to London Buster: You can stay here Edie: i dont like u like that mckenna Edie: soz Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Edie: rahhhh u actually so fucked up lmao Edie: i got places i wanna be Edie: thats the point Buster: You want your fam off your back I'm offering you somewhere to be where they won't be Buster: That's the point Edie: who she Edie: just cos she wanna try out for new step mum Buster: Aint I always had your back? Come on Buster: She isn't gonna give you grief like that Edie: you alright but dont get it twisted u ain't know me like that Edie: i don't wanna see her again at all Buster: I'll get you a hotel if you wanna come then Edie: hell no u cant buy me Edie: i ain't no hooker like ri be Buster: Don't call her that Buster: You know it ain't true Edie: it is tho Edie: she can do what she want but i aint gotta respect it or call it by a diff name to make her feel good bout it Buster: Don't be stupid Buster: You ain't a kid, you know how this all works Edie: she gets paid for her company Edie: what u wanna call it Edie: what makes u feel better Buster: Forget it Buster: I'm not trying to hit my head against the bricks Edie: hahaha thats what they always say when im right Edie: well if she aint gon go back for them she should know her man going pure apeshit, wilding out again like he think he the age he feelin Buster: Nah it's what they say when you won't be told. Not the same thing, like Buster: For the last time, he ain't her man. She doesn't give a fuck what he does or doesn't do Edie: meh whatever you say boy Edie: someone needs to go cheer him up Buster: Not our problem Buster: You do it if you're that bothered Edie: well he won't speak to me will he Edie: i ain't that fuckable, clearly Edie: or he got more morals than yous, either or Buster: Fuck's sake. Don't say shit like that to me Edie: awh mckenna only playin Edie: it's kinda funny tbh Edie: she act like she give the most shits about this fam Edie: and then she ruin it like that cos she wanna bang Buster: Hilarious Buster: She hasn't ruined anything Buster: Behave Edie: yous don't know u ain't here Edie: i'm tellin ya, why u think i'm jumping ship Buster: Neither are you, babe so don't act it Buster: If anything's fucked it's cause Drew fucked it Buster: You should be used to that as a concept Edie: didn't fuck himself mckenna Edie: all yous carry on blaming him til he the only one left tho Buster: I'm blaming him for this 'cause it's his fault Buster: I'm not trying to go any further back in time Edie: what u so whipped for Buster: Fuck off Buster: I know you'd love it to be that simple but it ain't Edie: u actually serious u think u love her Buster: I do love her Buster: I know that Edie: gon take up heroin next mckenna Buster: Grow up Edie: not the one still playing kissing cousins Edie: cute Buster: I don't care what you think Buster: And if that's the best you've got, don't bother, like Edie: good Edie: me either Edie: easier init Buster: Sometimes Edie: don't do halves Buster: Me either Buster: But you ain't the only one getting grief and feeling over it so Edie: fair you are chucking one in your fam, what u expect Edie: i've not done shit Buster: Whatever you say, babe Edie: ha tell me dickhead what have i done u reckon Buster: You're a bit of a cunt honestly Edie: boohoo Edie: if i was i'd fit right in Buster: You are and you do Buster: Deal with it, like Edie: all i do is deal with the unfortunateness of it trust Buster: Don't we all Edie: well bondings been fun babe but i got to go Edie: tell 'em all fairwell from me if you could tah u a real one Buster: Not your errand boy, sorry about it Buster: But not Edie: oh well Edie: they'll deal with not hearing it Buster: Since you ain't giving 'em a choice, yeah, they'll have to Edie: since when did u have to Edie: i ain't had 1 Buster: You've had plenty Buster: There's always choices Buster: Don't chat that bullshit to me Edie: nah Edie: god bless thank god u pretty Buster: Yeah Buster: On both counts Edie: i never had any it was all decided 'fore i even got here Buster: Nah Edie: yeah, mckenna Edie: he ain't want me, ma did Edie: i don't want her Edie: what a sad lil circle Buster: That's a cop out Buster: None of us got to pick our parents, babe Edie: least yours picked you Buster: Your ma picked you and Caleb Buster: You've got a mum and a dad same as I do Edie: well i don't want either of 'em Edie: so i'm offski Buster: Like I said, choices Buster: That's yours Edie: yeah it is Edie: finally Buster: Alright Buster: So stop wasting both our time with this chat then, yeah? Buster: It ain't going nowhere and you've decided you are Buster: Somewhere to be, like Edie: oooh Edie: touchy Edie: i'm waiting for my ride n my time Edie: what u even doin Buster: You don't care so what does it matter Edie: long as it matters to you babe Buster: Cheers Buster: Good insight Edie: ikr Edie: talents are wasted on this town Buster: You and me both Edie: shut up dickhead Edie: streets are paved with gold are they not Buster: Again, you wish it was that simple, babe Edie: why u even invited me then Edie: n u don't wanna fuck me Edie: rude Buster: I can only offer what I can offer Buster: I said it was an out from your fam not a fix all paradise, like Edie: lame and untrue to boot Edie: unfortunate but happens to the best of yas Buster: Whatever Edie: you might be ignoring the family tree like Edie: nothing in it for me Buster: Fine Buster: Don't come Edie: wasn't gonna Edie: doubt we got enough disel to get that far Buster: That's what planes are for Buster: But you know Edie: you know i ain't got that money Buster: I wasn't suggesting you paid for it Edie: kai has less than me lmao Buster: Him either Edie: mckenna mckenna mckenna if she's really doing that bad a job there's places you can go, people you can see Buster: This is boring Buster: You're just repeating yourself now girl Edie: you ain't my first choices either baby it's cool Edie: he's picking up Buster: Very gentlemanly Edie: like i ain't paying for it lmao Buster: If that's your way of saying you need money, make your mind up, like Edie: i'm saying that's where my money goes and is why he ain't getting on no plane Edie: paranoia man it'll get ya Buster: Yeah Buster: I bet Edie: Poor baby Edie: and Charlie thought he left all that behind him Edie: unlucky Buster: Can't say he don't know how to handle it at least Edie: that's a joke init Buster: Are you laughing right now? Edie: Big time Edie: got even less of a handle than ali and caleb Buster: Sure the judgement really helps too Edie: who's judging Buster: You Edie: Nah Edie: I don't care enough for that, I'm just laughing at the mess, not commenting on it Buster: Whatever you say Edie: how much would you give me Edie: outta interest Buster: How much do you want? Edie: ha you're such a bullshitter Edie: wouldn't stall if u was serious Buster: It's a serious question Buster: I don't know how long you're going for or where Buster: Not just gonna pull a number out the air Edie: for good and wherever we end up Edie: guess there's no ballpoint on that eh Buster: That's what you're saying now but if you're gone for a day and I give you a grand its not you who looks like a mug Edie: you a mug thinkin u get to tell me what to do with it like her Edie: its drug money mckenna don't act dumb Buster: Have I said shit about how to spend it? Nah Buster: Be serious and I will Buster: Tell me how much you want Edie: wow you really are dumb Edie: be careful out here baby Edie: even i ain't gonna play u like that but so many will Buster: Fuck off Buster: You're all talk, kid Edie: i'm serious Edie: ain't got your rents biz head have u jesus Buster: You don't know shit about what I'm got or not, Edie Buster: Don't act like you do Edie: you showed enough cards Buster: Nah, I'm showing you I can help you Buster: But be stupid Buster: How far you think you're gonna get with no money and no way to get any? Buster: Unless you're gonna play it the same way as Rio does whilst judging her for earning it Edie: you can help me get high? you and half the punters in this postcode, my da included Edie: ain't special baby and i ain't tryna enter yours so i don't need much Edie: plenty ways of getting cash that don't involve selling your ass Buster: Yeah, you're really smart Edie: aw thanks Buster: Cheers yourself Buster: Not a waste of time at all Edie: You're precious Buster: I know Edie: I reckon we've talked for sufficient time you can play you tried to stop me now Buster: I'm not gonna bullshit anyone Buster: That's for you to do Edie: as you like Edie: oh, tell ri gracie keeps crying, like ALL the time Edie: more than usual Buster: Tell her yourself Edie: alright Edie: she didn't reply last time i wrote her tho but worth a shot Buster: Try saying something worth reading Buster: I know it's a stretch but Edie: aw darn, i really thought i was smart Edie: oh well Buster: Bye, Edie Edie: laters mckenna Buster: Unlikely from how you're selling it, but sure Edie: see i don't know what u reckon the point of u is if you ain't gonna let me hit u up on the reg for cash Edie: you ain't know how this works Buster: I'm not trying to be anything for you Buster: Not my job Edie: knife thru my heart Edie: she always got the best of everything so used to it Buster: yeah yeah Edie: there u go again 💘 Buster: Poor baby Edie: u got jokes Buster: I know Buster: Pretty, smart and funny Edie: when u suck urself off that's somehow grosser than the incest Edie: eurgh Buster: Hilarious Edie: no jokes Edie: i reckon that's hurting your chances more Buster: I didn't ask and I don't care Edie: awh so in love is it Buster: Even if I wasn't, not gonna take advice from you Edie: why not Buster: Not gonna write you a list either Edie: i get laid Edie: by people i ain't related to n all, craziness Buster: Well done Edie: why thank you Buster: Sure your boyfriend wants to talk to you more than I do Buster: So on you go Edie: probably not if he's started without me but you know Buster: Well all the more reason to catch him up then Edie: ha you really don't like me do you Buster: You're not as stupid as you sound Buster: Good to know Edie: its chill b Edie: i dont like me either Buster: Do something about it then Edie: who for? Edie: this cunt Edie: i think not Buster: For you maybe Edie: that's the cunt i was referring to Edie: keep up Buster: You're just being so edgy right now, like Buster: How can I? Edie: we all know u aint vanilla now boy quit playin Buster: You first Edie: what u chattin i'm bein painfully real Buster: You're trying too hard, babe Edie: at what lmao Buster: This game Buster: Been there, done it Buster: You ain't been real this whole convo Edie: tragically i have Edie: soz you found it disappointing but same Buster: Disappointing ain't the word Buster: If you wanna put any in my mouth, try even harder Edie: you should save the wiser older brother bit tho Edie: ur actual sis would probs benefit Buster: I'm not trying to be that for her or you Buster: Unlucky Edie: now who's not being real Edie: it's cute, don't be ashamed Buster: Why should I be real for you? Edie: u shouldn't Edie: just a bit weird to be lecturing me Edie: unless you really tryna kick it daddy and its all do as i say not as i do Edie: i'm with you Buster: Weird ain't the half of what you reckon I am so why do you care? Edie: why do you Buster: Why do I care about you? Buster: Don't be stupid Edie: i'm not u got no reason Buster: Yeah I do Edie: ha sure Buster: Whatever Edie: you're as bad as her aren't you Edie: i got it fucked feeling sorry for you at the start Edie: you gonna chat like family means anything, god, at least i thought you were committed mckenna Buster: She ain't bad, that's your first mistake Buster: She's better than me, that's your second Edie: three strikes and i'm out? Edie: fun Edie: lemme think Buster: If we were playing that you'd have been out ages ago, babe Edie: good to know Edie: underestimated myself again but that's life Buster: I wouldn't know Buster: Not how I'm living Edie: hmm i wouldn't peg you as a total jump the gun cum in your pants type but if you insist Buster: You ain't got a clue how to peg me but it doesn't matter Edie: i been in the know on that but like i said Edie: don't like u like that Buster: Good Edie: lmao gotta draw the line somewhere mckenna Edie: glad to know it's at butt stuff Edie: on that note, peace Edie: my ride here Buster: Bye again Buster: Been a pleasure, obviously Edie: put it on my tab Buster: 'Course
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