#lmao being forced to delete old posts

[velvetvexations]

Really love how every time I argue with people on here about how actually trans men do not generally have it meaningfully better than trans women, people avoid actually explaining their points or providing sources and start calling me a little boy. Very fun. Love that. It's so fun to be insulted for asking asking people to explain their point

No one can actually explain that.

rhea ripley is so hot. and for what

for me to be all Weird Trans Woman about her

Honestly as an non binary person, I feel more and more pushed out of the community with the serious adherence to the binary. "if you Id as this you MUST be this thing, you're you're a liar and a faker and you're hurting other trans people" that, and the denial of trans men's oppression. It's just cruel and bitter, and seeing other trans people go down this path is pretty disheartening

it's so depressing

Well, you see, it's not like saying they're transitioning from black to white, because OBVIOUSLY, just like race, your soulgender is immediately apparent to everyone as soon as you plop out the womb

lmao so true

(also I've heard soulgender is a Black thing and it should be spelled with like, a space or a hyphen? so I'm probably gonna do that from now on)

"Trans men are the White People of the trans community" Oh okay so yeah this is just "Ace people are the White People of the Queer Community" all over again huh Begging other whities to stop comparing race and gender like this, makes you look stupid as fuck

pls

Fascinated to know if the "All trans women are nonbinary" crowd also believe all trans men are nonbinary

you'd think so the way they insist trans men cling to being AFAB lmao

Went to check /-/'s blog and she's reblogging pro Chat-GPT and anti-copyright posts now

I'm tapping the sign.

as a nonbinary thing i feel like so much tma/tme shit just completely fucking forgets us like im not „occasionally mistaken as a trans woman” its a fucking coin flip!!!!!!!! my „AGAB” doesbt matter 2 ppl outside the the internet!!!!! all that matters is no matter what i wear no one wants me i their bathroom!!!!!

people don't even just hate you for when they mistake you for a trans woman anon they hate non-binary people AFAB too

i kinda feel like the discourse is becoming more mainstream now. im seeing a lot of trans bloggers who dont post much about trans issues making posts about it (usually along the lines of "can we be normal about trans guys please" which is nice)

good maybe the backlash will finally kick in

Idk if this is me generalizing but I’ve started noticing that headcanons of canonically male characters as trans women that get traction are usually skinny and have trauma or coded with anxiety or depression. Like idk if that means literally anything but just a weird observation I had

a lotta people on here literally define being a woman as when bad things happen to you lmao

I was looking at the Patricia Taxxon stuff (funny enough, did actually see you @ ed in deleted replies) and I saw the sentence “However, being discriminated on the basis of being perceived as a manly woman is just an adverse effect of transmisogyny directed towards trans men.” Which. Hey now. What about butch women. Like how does that not uniquely apply to cis butch lesbians, even if we ignore trans men entirely.

MAINSTREAM SOCIETY LOVES TOMBOYS

Man. It really sucks when a popular-ish figure you look up to turns out to be transandrophobic. Should have seen it coming ig. She was intersexist too, and those often go hand in hand.

well I mean it sounds like you shouldn't have looked up to her already lmao

IIRC from old drama, Patricia Taxxon also thinks toxic masculinity isn't a real thing that can harm men because it's just splash damage from misogyny and they should get over it, lol, so I'm not surprised if she's turned out to be weird about trans men

lmao literally just that radfem-libfem feminism-is-for-women comic huh

Tragic: local man forced to actually read Serano's writing for the theory he's trying to make even though the way she talks about transmasculinity and female gender nonconformity gives him a headache

F

[mintythecup]

Heya there!

here's a post ab me and my boundaries that you should follow or i will be having a problem with.

My dicord link bc It somehow deleted itself:

My pronouns page!

(First time making this lmao)

First thing will be about me

My name is minty, known as mintythecup or cuphead_0 on discord!

_____________~•°♧°•~_____________

Here are my socials:

tumblr: mintythecup

Insta: _minty_the_cup_

Twitter: mintythecup

Tiktok: _cuphead.__

Discord: cuphead_0

Im also known as

@casinominty

@bloodlustau

_____________~•°♧°•~_____________

Two of my aus! I'm part of the better casino

My favorite characters

Boris, mugman, felix, surge, shadow, chips bettigan, striker, jax, zooble, Larry n lawrie, melodie, keromi

_____________~•°♧°•~_____________

I am 16 years old, my birthday is in july 18th.

I an nonbinary

I go by they/them and not she/her. Me and mintys pronouns are NOT the fucking same. Stop addressing my pronouns as her please.

I am an atheist and I will not accept being forced religion. That is a sin btw

Im an artist of 10 years and growing

My favorite colors are red. Blue, forest green, black, and wine red

My aesthetic is grudge and black royal type

I love talking but I am kind of closed off so don't force it.

Dont spam me. I will block you.

_____________~•°♧°•~_____________

Boundaries

I will not be tolerating any bullying or untrue rumors here. I will be blocking and ignoring you completely if I find out it's untrue.

I'm fine with any ship and any thing js along it isn't causing harm or problematic

No incest or shit like that, I will NOT tolerate it. This is a safe place for everything and everyone

Lgbtq. Therian, furry, religious, poc. Anything. You are welcome here and if anyone says otherwise blocked. Womp womp.

I accept fanarts, doesn't natter if your art is bad to you ill love it either way :] js along as it isn't uncomfortable art like unconsented nsfw.

I WILL NOT ACCEPT NSFW, I AM A KID AND ILL ONLY ACCEPT IF I KNOW AND FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND YOU.

no sa, or abuse mentions or jokes. Do not joke about my situation or try make it seem like I was the problem. Also don't make fun of sa around me either. I am a victim of online and irl assault, I will not tolerate it

Please be mindful about your words, they can affect some people.

If you don't like my art or my au, leave and don't make a problem about it and we will be good. I do not wanna go on rough terms on getting into a meaningless argument when you could of js left instead of complaining

Hate comments. I will get rude about it, it may come off as immature slightly but I do have a right to defend myself, I won't respond to most of thrm but if it involves something serious, I will do something ab it

______________~•°♧°•~____________

Over all, js have fun and chill! Be free to send requests or something, I won't mind the slightest!

It took abit to write but i needed to let this out ^^♡

[yarrayora]

Fic author interview!

tagged by @carriagelamp and immediately interested in doing it after seeing the questions

tagging people who will be mentioned at question 12 alongside @mickeymagpie @unexbellexreverie and @booksandberries

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

112 surprisingly!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

235,399 words which is actually lower than i expected it kinda annoys me

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

if i didn't delete my rise of the brave tangled dragons and my voltron fics it would be them but i did. i deleted them. now my top 5 are all bsd fics

A Good Enough Reason to Keep Meeting Up (1,055 kudos) is part of Stray Gods series where the supernaturals are all real and Abilities came from them. This specific fic is about Chuuya and Atsushi's budding relationship. Or rather Chuuya's budding crush on Atsushi with malnourishment and chronic pain as the vessel to get there.

Money Makes the World Go Round (939 kudos) BSDxOuran crossover that is part of a collection of crossover fics about Atsushi attending high schools from different fandoms in order to attain the qualifications to enjoy the employment benefits his workplace has to offer. You can tell I'm old when that's my worldbuilding for writing high school AU

Moral Compass (923 kudos) the first installment of the Stray Gods series set post Dead Apple where unlocking his repressed memories about Shibusawa let the actual god Byakko to finally communicate with his Champion.

Delicate Job (791 kudos) A case fic written to explore Atsushi's role as a detective and how he would handle a case while prioritizing the victim's feelings unlike popular depictions of detectives where they use facts and logic to trample over people because the authors think that's what makes intelligent people cool

The God of Destruction Wished For Naught (752 kudos) the third installment of Stray Gods and a continuation of A Good Reason to Keep Meeting Up where Chuuya's body is falling apart, which could lead to Yokohama's destruction via blackhole, forcing Atsushi to make connections with the Port Mafia

I was a bit disappointed at first that my most kudos'd fic hasn't broken 2k kudos yet but seeing how my top 5 fics don't have a huge disparity between the amount of kudos makes me happy

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! i don't always know how to reply but i especially makes the effort for people who leaves paragraphs on my fic. sometimes if i know the commenter i just reply on their discord lmao

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

oh that's hard. i have a lot of oneshots that are basically "and so, the cycle of suffering repeats yet again" and you'd think it would be the servampxbnha crossover where despite mahiru's best attempt to help deku get into UA even without a quirk so he will let go of his self-hatred for being born quirkless, in the end he receives One For All from All Might, undoing all the works mahiru-sensei has done to help deku but NO it's a bsd fic again that embodies this concept in the worst way possible as it's revealed that the event that happened in canon timeline was kickstarted by post-beast!atsushi who copes for his feelings for beast!dazai (both affection and hatred) by writing numerous worlds into existence to prove that dazai is a good man all along

wait. no. actually. the persona 5 fic where the phantom thieves deal with goro's sacrifice might be angstier considering this line

Akechi Goro was the only murder they ever committed, and in the years that follow never once would his name ever passed their lips. But he would always be at the edge of their vision, a ghost that they could never speak to.

or the birthday fic i wrote for the hunt twins where oz killed ewan who crawled back out of the cauldron to re-sacrifice himself so patchman won't survive???

or the big hero 6 fic where people are holding a funeral for personal health companion robots who carried a bunch of people out of a burning building??? repeating the word "Tadashi is Here" to people who never knew the man to comfort the terrified humans?

or the ben 10 fic where ben accidentally used too much force in his alien form resulting in his first murder and then repressing the memory??

it's impossible to make me choose

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

d-do i have a happy ending posted

actually im choosing the dragon age fic where cole accidentally made him saving the inquisitor from the envy demon sounds sexual which leads to hilarious results

7. Do you write crossovers?

yes and my non-crossover fics are actually stealth crossovers

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i dont remember ever getting one

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

this is the question that actually made me want to do this interview. SO. be kiddie yarra during ff.net era. i was writing persona 4 fic where naoto says goodbye to souji. it was romantic. someone left a comment on my fic saying my writing got stolen and linked me to a naruto fic which made me go??? huh??? and turns out it was Word By Word the same fic but with souji being replaced as naruto, naoto as hinata, and the train station into konoha gate. it was insane.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not on AO3 i think?? someone DID contact me to ask for my permission to translate my fic to russian but i don't remember the details

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

stray gods is written alongside @faerynova while @katzkinder helped with children's war. oh and also the Not Posted smtiva series written with @gothamcityneedsme

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

impossible to choose but i can tell you the very specific criterias that attract me to my ships if you want

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

usually when i abandon a fic i lose interest in it altogether

15. What are your writing strengths?

my bsd x ouran fic has been complimented as staying true to the characters even though im throwing ouran into a serious series like bsd and vice versa so i like to think it's my ability to keep the core of the characters true even when putting them in a different AU unrelated to canon. also writing convoluted political struggles that makes sense.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

grammar. but apparetly im also somehow better than a lot of native english speakers???

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

im writing in english, arent i? (lol)

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

persona 4. it was an talkshow styled interview fic

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

don't have one as far as i can think of. i guess i want to write more of "how to make my notp make sense" and "characterxreader fic that doesn't sacrifice canon characterization" as a challenge for myself

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

the hope chapter of Despair (and Hope) because i had fun writing mahiru fixing mikuni through a persona 5 palace-like challenges except with zero fighting and more puzzle-solving

[ocean-sapphics]

what are ocean sapphics? & flags!

'ocean' is the umbrella grouping term for presentation labels that lesbian & bi/pan sapphics can use regarding femininity, masculinity, and androgyny.

these terms were initially coined by strwbryfemme on twitter, using their gimmick account sapphicimagines back in january of 2022. both accounts have since been deactivated and therefore this thread is long gone. i found them in an old flag hoard album on my camera roll recently and decided to respectfully reupload them in case anyone else would enjoy.

NOTE #1: i will not be putting the rest of this, admittedly quite long, post under a ‘read more’ cut due to the fact that all the information would be lost if someone decided to reblog it and the original post ended up gone sometime in the future. you would not be able to view anything under it, since whatever is there can only be seen on the original page. i apologize if you have to scroll a lot because of this, but that’s unfortunately one of the many inconvenient ways tumblr works.

NOTE #2 (MUST READ): i felt it would be best to swap their usage of 'pearl' to mean masc, not androgyne. this is because these chosen words feel unbalanced in their meanings to me. 'ocean' feels too broad and vague to cover just one category (hence why i made it overarching instead), and doesn't fit its place in the hierarchy of the theme. it'd be like saying, for example: 'cat' is fem, 'animal' is masc, and 'dog' is androgynous; instead of saying 'cat' is fem, 'dog' is masc, and 'furry' (lmao idk ok? bear with me) is androgynous. i then turned what was previously 'pearl' into 'coral' as a replacement, since that made more sense from my perspective. if this confuses you while reading the tweets below, i have put my corrections for the labels/flags in alt text, which you can click on each image to access. if that doesn't help, feel free to ask questions. i tried to make this as easy and least complex as possible, so i apologize if that didn't work.

NOTE #3: if cat (strwbryfemme) and/or atlas (ilikegaycookies, who designed the bi flags btw) finds this and would like me to take it down, i will do so upon request, directly or indirectly, and also delete this blog. i intend no disrespect to either of you and i'm posting this because i like your ideas and don't want them to rot and be forgotten anymore than they already have. i edited the words themselves because i thought they would fit better, but i can also revert them back to their original versions if need be.

with that out of the way, let’s get onto the flags first!

sapphic:

lesbian:

bisexual:

information (REMINDER THAT I HAVE RE-COINED A COUPLE OF TERMS. READ ALT TEXT TO KNOW WHICH WORDS TO SWAP OUT WHEN READING THE SCREENSHOTS!):

any and all help with IDs/PTs are appreciated! i do not have the spoons to write them out as of now due to the rest of the work i'm putting into this post, but if someone wants to volunteer then i can put all the text into a rentry (or multiple) and edit it here to make the images more accessible to disabled readers. thank you!

here is some more stuff i would like to add (please also read these too if you are interested in claiming, or even if you are not on board with all this):

you should keep in mind that i am a white tme bi sapphic who knows my history and claims 'butch', so i will not argue about butch/femme discourse because i strongly support the terms not being lesbian-exclusive. however, it should be understood that i still know my place and privilege regarding other applicable aspects and do not wish to offend anyone or start discourse here. this post is simply a reupload and attempt at re-suggesting cute terms for personal use only, entirely by choice. they are not designed to be forced on anyone or become mainstream, especially not to replace femme/butch/futch or even the infamous doe/stag/tomcat. you do not have to like these or agree with them. you are allowed to dismiss the idea and move on as it wasn't made to erase or hurt anyone. please hold anyone who does spread these in bad faith accountable, thanks.

with that being said, it is my opinion that we should grant their wishes for wanting to keep this series exclusive to the sapphic community. i do not personally consider either of these individuals to be overall 'bad people', even if we disagree on some things heavily. they still deserve respect for the positive contributions they have made to our community, which is why, again, i will remove all of the above without hesitation if asked by a credible messenger.

one last thing to be reminded of ─ if anyone else ends up playing around with the theme of these terms + flags, for any given reason (such as designing pan/trans/enby/etc. versions), please do not use the word 'fish', especially if you are also white, as that already exists within a Black-exclusive context to be a cultural identity adjacent to 'femme'! i will not speak or give an opinion about what to do or not if you are Black, as i'm sure you will be able to take it from there.

this is not necessary to read, so you can stop now lol ─ anyway, thank you for your attention, and enjoy! reblogs are appreciated, and comments will be listened to. if you have any complaints directed towards the content itself, then i unfortunately cannot help you with that as said content is not really mine. however, i will try to respond to stuff related to my act of reuploading and/or adjusting the terminology. remember that i self-identify as butch and am critical of coining ideas with a similar purpose to doe/stag, but obviously i am not against it. as long as you can understand my point of view, your opinions will matter, even if they (respectfully!) dissent. have a lovely rest of your day/night!

[sapphire-weapon]

Hey it's the anon from the other recent Luis act. And yeah, I'm drawing off the remake. While I like the OG, I appreciate it but I prefer the remake for it's themes and expansion on Luis's story. (I'm a sucker for tragedies). I sort of feel as though Luis and Leon had a healthier relationship than most of Leon's relationships after Raccoon City. It makes what happens a bit more...I'm not sure if I'd say bittersweet but it makes me chew on the nature of their relationship more than the OG did. That death scene hit hard.

I'm about to say something controversial: I also prefer the remake. In my mind, the remake deletes OG and overwrites it the same way the original REmake did for RE1. I was actually surprised to peek back into fandom and find that I was in the minority on that among the Old Guard.

Like. Look, man. I've been playing RE for over 25 years. I grew up playing it. And RE4 OG changed my life; I would not have the friends I have today, and I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't played RE4 as a teenager. And I'm also very, very aware of the ways in which OG changed video games as a medium forever.

RE4 OG will always be one of the most important and influential video games ever made -- it's up there with Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time in terms of pushing the medium forward. And nothing can ever take that away from it.

But the remake is a superior version of it in every single way and by every single conceivable measure. In my mind, that doesn't diminish OG or what it did; it enhances it. RE1 is greater for what REmake did with it, and RE4 is greater for what RE4make did with it. And I feel that, over time, people are going to say "you can skip the original RE4" when their friends get into RE, the same way they do now with RE1 and REmake.

And that's just how I feel about it.

Sorry. I just had to get that out. I've been holding it in for a while lmao

Anyway, in terms of your actual ask...

When you say that Leon and Luis's relationship is "healthier" than most of his relationships post-RE2, I'd say that that's more of a condemnation of his other relationships than it is a compliment to the one he has with Luis lmao

Leon just becomes a dysfunctional person in general post-RE2, and so his relationships are a reflection of that. I made a joke the other day:

Leon "I love Sherry like she's my daughter but also every time I see or speak to her I want to kill myself" Kennedy

And, while, yeah it's a joke... it's also kind of not. That is kind of where he's at mentally.

So, I feel like his relationship with Luis isn't any more or less healthy than any of his other relationships, but rather that the way he interprets the relationship is healthier than the others. If that makes sense?

Because, like. As it's happening, that relationship is one built on deception and distrust. Leon immediately finds him suspicious and then immediately fucking hates him as soon as he finds out that Luis is ex-Umbrella, and the next time they see each other, Leon tries to kick his ass. Leon warms up to him slightly over time, but he's still trying to interrogate Luis even on the elevator ride up to Luis getting stabbed.

It's only in hindsight, after Luis's death, that Leon stops and really reflects on the man and what he was actually trying to do.

Chances are, if Luis had lived, their relationship would've just continued on the same path it'd already been on: with Luis trying to charm his way into Leon's pants him, and Leon being a little bitch about it. Leon wouldn't have bothered thinking about him any more deeply than "fucking Umbrella" because of his own pre-existing trauma.

But it was the way in which Luis went out that caused the record scratch in Leon's head and forced him to hard stop and really re-examine his thinking.

And that's what I think is so masterful about the complete reworking of their relationship from OG to remake. Regardless of which version of the story you're looking at, people die around Leon. A lot. Sometimes, people die because of Leon.

Luis is the only person who's ever died for him.

If Luis hadn't dragged himself down onto the catwalk and forced himself to stand, aim, and fire his weapon in order to save Leon's life -- he probably could have lived. And to purposefully squash his own chance at living to save someone else? That goes against all of Leon's baked-in biases about Umbrella researchers.

Not only that, but to someone like Leon, who's already plagued with a horrible case of survivor's guilt on top of his pre-existing hero complex, that's a Big Fucking Deal no matter who it is.

So, really, the saddest and most tragic part about Leon and Luis is that their relationship only became meaningful because Luis died.

But. You know. At the same time, if that's not the most Shakespearean romance shit you've ever heard, I don't know what is.

[babiebom]

Ranking the relationships in my fics

A/N: I have so many requests right now and no time to do them and I’m kinda burnt out on the one I’m doing so here’s something easy for right now :) both platonic and romantic as long as it’s a main relationship also half of these Fics have been either deleted or never posted but might be in the future!! I will include links to those posted :)

Tw:some nsfw? Some cursing, some angst, mentions of murder and suicide mentions of abuse (physical mental verbal) lmk if I should tag anything else!!

Bc at least 4 for each pairing

Misc Masterlist

1) Denali x Naomi (Escape the Fog)

From a deleted fic that I am currently rewriting its a dead by daylight fic with two original main characters

The reason this is number one is because out of all of the relationships this is the one that is strictly platonic

Like yeah romantic relationships aren’t bad but

Out of all the relationships this one is the most demanding and pure

I mean not to spoil but Naomi is literally taken to the Entity’s realm and Denali is taken there simply because her need to find her friend is so strong!!!!

Like she doesn’t care that she’s being killed every single day

She’s just happy that she’s found her friend that went missing

And loves her friend so much that she’s willing to be permakilled to get her back home

2) Sebastian x Reader (When You Fall)

From When You Fall which is a Stardew Valley fanfiction

The least toxic out of the romantic relationships

And by least toxic I don’t think they’re toxic at all

Like even if there’s a little angst (there’s gonna be a little angst btw) they’re a strong couple

Actually makes each other better rather than making each other worse.

They love each other for who they are including all of their flaws and they would be number one if Denali and Naomi didn’t have a relationship that goes above and beyond.

Like what kind of person would help you through your depression?

A person that loves you that’s who.

Like 80 years from now the two will be old and grey and still acting as if they’re in the honeymoon phase

3) Eden x Eleventh Doctor (The Garden of Eden)

From an unpublished Doctor who fanfiction that I am in the process of writing

Here is where we’re getting into the ohhhh this relationship is kinda toxic really

And it’s a shame they’re number THREE on the list lmao what does that say about my writing?

They are constantly arguing (90 percent not in a serious way)

And Eden sort of sees the Doctor as a God due to how they met which puts him on a pedestal

BUT the relationship doesn’t start off romantic which I think is healthy for them

And they are both fiercely protective of one another due to how long she’s spent traveling with him

So while she does see him as a God it isn’t in a very obvious or serious way unless you can see inside of her head as she doesn’t treat him as such at all.

Also a very goofy relationship overall

4) Grace x Seth Clearwater (unnamed fic)

It’s an unwritten and unnamed Twilight Fic that I might post when I’m done with the whole thing lmao

The only reason they’re number four is that I think that him imprinting on her is taking away his choice

Like yes they would probably still end up together regardless of if he had the ability to imprint or not because they’re soulmates

But him having the trait does take away the ability to actually choose

Like it’s literally a one look and that’s it thing. It forces you to live someone platonically or not so he doesn’t have a say in the matter

BUT the two do genuinely love each other so so so much that after their angst is done they’re inseparable

Which again sorta toxic when it’s a codependent relationship but they actually RARELY argue

Seth is actually so sweet that again after the angst is done they might have an argument once every like 5 years.

5)Quinn x Spencer Reid (Baby Blue)

From my Criminal minds fic that is currently posted on ao3 that I am debating on posting here.

Actually they argue so often

If he hadn’t have gotten her pregnant in a one night stand they would have still met and would have a love hate relationship

Like without the baby they would be an enemies to lovers trope but instead he immediately and accidentally got her pregnant so now they’re stuck with each other

Do genuinely love each other and after they finally figure out that they have feelings for each other everything calms down

But with her being pregnant and them not being in a relationship and then the jealousy and miscommunication everything is just toxic

Like could they tell each other that they accidentally fell in love with the other and they wanna try to have a relationship?

Yes.

Will they?

No.

But again after the drama they’re actually a very affectionate couple that manages to keep their passion into their old age

6) Ashanti x Cárter Walsh-Kim (unnamed fic)

From my deleted twilight fic

While he isn’t a main main character he serves to be the Jacob of the plot but they actually date and he doesn’t force himself on her or fall in love with her future child :)

They’re a healthy college age couple?

Kinda boring but not toxic at all until Emmett enters the mix

They’re stable and comfortable and honestly would be endgame if it wasn’t for Emmett

She loved him and he loved her not much else to say. They’re low because they break up lmao

7) Ashanti x Emmett Cullen (unnamed fic)

From the same deleted fic as above I might rewrite and repost

toxic because they can’t figure out if they wanna be together or not

Like actually they have a really good relationship when they’re not arguing and he’s being a wannabe Edward with his angst

Like when they’re not fighting a great comedic duo

And he’s her biggest supporter and she’s his.

And while I know I just compared him to Edward they don’t have the whole turn me I don’t wanna turn you drama like it’s a very easy discussion and decision

He’s literally just hung up on Rosalie and that’s where the drama comes from

And the arguing kinda makes some of his old human traits reappear

8) Fawn x Johnny Slaughter (Accidental Prey)

A Texas chainsaw massacre fanfiction that isn’t finished

Would be lower because he’s actually a murder and is keeping her hostage????????????

Like he’s forcing her to live with his murderous cannibalistic family

And he kinda abusive

But he’s genuinely in love with her (more like obsessed)

And hes the only reason that she’s alive

I can’t spoil the end but dude LOVES her more than Johnny in my other fanfics loves their partner more than just being possessive and obsessive

9) Bucky Barnes x Reader (Mr.Right)

From a deleted marvel fic that I haven’t finished and probably won’t until I get the urge

These two just absolutely JUMPED into a relationship without thinking about it

And tbh idk if they’ll last or not but they do currently love each other

It’s super middle/high school vibes but they do have a good relationship

He’s an assassin though

And has gotten them almost killed

And has taught them how to murder people

And is actually kinda a fucked up guy AND relationship because they kinda lose their mind.

10) Evangeline x Danny Johnson (Between a Rock and a Hard Place)

My dead by daylight x Texas chainsaw massacre fic that only has like a single chapter posted

Is higher than Johnny because he isn’t physically abusive like Johnny is

But still low because he’s actually insane

Is a serial killer but isn’t a cannibal

Is obsessed with her and probably wouldn’t kill her

Loves her I guess if obsession counts lmao

Is willing to take care and love a child that isn’t his if she chooses him

11) Evangeline x Johnny Slaughter (Between a Rock and a Hard Place)

From the same fic as above

Physically, Emotionally, and Verbally abusive

And while you’re thinking IM HOW IS HE NOT LAST

He did leave his family to go find her and does somehow love her that he hasn’t murdered her yet

And even though he threatens to kill her he never actually would unless he has a breakdown and kills her and himself

12) Corinne x Johnny Slaughter (unnamed fic)

From an unnamed unfinished unpublished Texas chainsaw massacre fic that will be posted when I’m done with all three chapters

Actually one of the WORST relationships and probably should be last

But the reason why it isn’t is because Corinne is no longer stuck with him

He physically, verbally, and emotionally abused her

Forced her to kill their child because the police were close to catching them and a child would slow them down

Constantly cheated on her with victims after he kidnapped her and forced her to live with him and his family

He doesn’t really love her (he thinks he does) he really just sees her as a possession.

13) Peter Parker x Reader (the Beauty of You)

A marvel fanfic that I deleted that is a You AU so Peter is in the role of Joe lmao

While he isn’t abusive he is VERY manipulative which is mentally abusive

Has murdered people to get to Reader

Has threatened to kill them

They’re lower than Corinne because Reader is stuck with him like until they die

Isolates them from literally everyone and uses his powers to keep them isolated and needing him

Loves them I guess lmao

14) Rasmodius x Reader (the Wizard and I)

From the stardew valley oneshot

Reader is also stuck with him for life

And this relationship is kinda romantic but the reader is being held hostage as some sort of slave

Like dude doesn’t actually love her just wants to keep his place

Like they’re literally his pet and is stuck like this

And unlike the other bad guys he literally has the ability to make them immortal

Like there’s no love at all, Reader is just possessed/enchanted to be okay with this.

Like their choice was no but this is still how they ended up unfortunately

[sprite-real]

Hey y’all, just feel like venting about this because I’m genuinely frustrated with Amino.

Amino sucks.

And I mean it, it genuinely does. Back in my days, such as 2018, Amino was definitely a lot better, but also wasn’t very safe for children back then, and I’ll stand by that with my own personal experiences. It was also less-restrictive then, and its definitely changed now.

Entering 2024, I ended up staying late up one night, remembering old friends from Amino I was forced to leave 6 years ago, and out of nostalgia and missing them, I redownloaded Amino.

Everything was okay but everything was definitely different, and out of fun since I was wanting to wait for old friends to possibly come back, I joined a few communities.

Looking into guidelines, it’s easy to notice how ‘protect the children’ thing going on and it was like, “Weird… That wasn’t there before.” And it made EVERYTHING more restrictive and more ‘child-friendly’, when they’ve never worked to protect children before like ever.

Meanwhile they have communities about literal serial killers n shit:

I left because I posted some art there and was being silly and put smth like: I love my wife in the title, because I’m a Huntress simp. And they took it down despite my showing previous attraction to the character, getting awarded in the featured thing ESPECIALLY when I’ve shown that I was attracted to the character. I’m a simp, and like???

And it got taken down, and one of the people are like: “DM me.” Like no?? What was the point. I did nothing against the guidelines, but okay, sure. I deleted Amino after because I’ve already dealt with other issues that were just plain stupid to me.

Doesn’t help in other communities they also took down posts for small things like, I had a TikTok that I posted bc the video wasn’t working and they say, ‘Don’t self-promote’. ??? And then I made a post asking how to fix the wikis and turn them into blogs bc I wasn’t sure how the app worked. That post was also taken down bc I didn’t have art featuring at all and it’s like, okay then I guess. 💀

Those are just my personal experiences, Amino is bad. They restrict a lot and don’t allow a lot of freedom with your art or anything. It’s just not a good app, go to a place like Tumblr that’ll let you post most art and will give you more creative freedom and doesn’t restrict your speech either. Trust. Amino doesn’t like simps either lmao.

Anyways sorry for the rant, it may look ridiculous to some people but I just wanted to express my frustrations because why have Amino in the first place and advertise it like, “Oh it’s a place to express yourself and your art!”?

[ladyramora]

Author Interview

Tagged by @eemamminy-art

Putting a read more because this baby is looong....

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

Currently 72! It would be more if I posted all of my Tumblr snippets separately lol

2. what's your total AO3 word count?

467,534 words.

A decent bit, I think. Though I started writing again in 2015, so maybe it's not much? It's not everything I've written on Tumblr, either.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

I used to write for FF11 & Inu Yasha, plus Inu Yasha & Yuyu Hakusho crossover fic. I never deleted my fanfic dot net account, but it is all super old now. Nobody go looking for it! I may one day rewrite some of those old fic, but confronting my teenage writing skills is a bit much for me right now lmao.

My Ao3 is all FFXIV at this point, but that is subject to change! I have a c0mmission from Divinity: Original Sin 2 I'm currently working on! (Ifan. He's such an interesting, handsome guy. I'm having fun writing him~ ❤️)

I am interested in writing for other fandoms! For instance, Nu Carnival that is currently one of my favorite games, and possibly BG3? But I only know of it, haven't played it, I'll have to do research to write for it.

I just need to work through my current queue first!

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm gonna go by actual chaptered fic, not just my collections of Tumblr snippets.

• Drowning in Blue:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4679429/chapters/10680896

Kudo count: 460 ❤️

Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert).

Summary: The Warrior of Light is granted a wish from Hydaelyn after being gravely wounded in the fight with the Ascians.

I have a lot of love for this one, however I would like to go back & edit it to make it more friendly to nonbinary & they/them readers. I do enjoy the writing style I have in this one. I do remember writing chapter after chapter of this one, day after day. A lot of passion there.

• In plain sight:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4333374/chapters/9826917

Kudo count: 385 ❤️

Yet another Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert).

Summary: The Warrior of Light has fled from Ul'dah to take refuge in Camp Dragonhead after being accused of treason. Though dark times have forced them there, it is in Camp Dragonhead that potentially disastrous shenanigans ensue. Much Fluff with attempts at humor. Haurchefant x WoL. Tataru and Alphinaud friendships.

This one! The fic where I created Ger! Another one I would like to edit to make more friendly to non-binary & they/them readers. I'd also like to update Ger's characterization, because she's an entirely different character now! But I really enjoyed writing this fic. It was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed exploring Haurchefant's character & building up the relationship between him and WoL. I had a sequel planned & everything. I'd still like to write that sequel eventually. I have a draft on my computer for it lol.

•Switching Roles:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9899933

Kudo count: 266 ❤️

Summary: Estinien lies in wait for Aymeric. This is also porn. Can be stand alone, but more like a sequel to Sweet like birch syrup.

Estinien and Aymeric were my first foray into writing smut, not just fading to black or ending at the buildup & making people ask in my comments "that's it? where's the rest of it?"

Oh, how far we have come since then! I used to say I was strictly a fluff/romance writer with occasional angst. Now look at me. 95% pure, explicit smut!

•Peculiarity:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36427720/chapters/90829135

Kudo count: 244 ❤️

Hermes/Warrior of Light (reader insert?) from Hermes POV.

I won't post the summary because it's kinda sorta Endwalker Spoilers! Sorry!

I will say that this fic is my current baby. I love Hermes sooo much. I relate to him a lot. It makes me very sad that so many people in fandom seem to hate him. My poor, misguided little meow meow.

Yet another character I ship with Ram, in theory, but as of yet not in written practice. Just vibes, just brainwyrms doing loops in the old noggin.

•The Cats Meow:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4508475/chapters/10253364

Kudo count: 243 ❤️

Haurchefant/Miqo'te WoL (reader insert)

Summary: Haurchefant notices the cat-like qualities in the Miqo'te!WoL. Attempts at humor and fluff.

Ok, this one is just silly fluff. Much romance. Very cute. Meow. This was around the time I was still playing my miqo'te, before I left her standing by Haurchefant's desk before level 57.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Eyes Ever Heavensward

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29054034

Kudo count: 33 ❤️

Haurchefant/Warrior of Light (reader insert)

Summary:

The one where Haurchefant is a member of the Heavensward, and WoL is storming The Vault. Angst. Feels. Unhappy Ending.

Ok, I probably have a few angsty ones but this one made me cry while I was writing it. I think it's just angstier because of what WoL is forced, with no other choice, to do in the fic.

:( ͡° ᴥ ͡°)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I have so many that end on positive/happy endings. I can't really say what is the happiest. Maybe fix-it fics?

8. do you get hate on fics?

Not so much on fic. I have gotten some mean/malicious anons on Tumblr, but not since my fanfiction dot net days have I gotten "flames" or somebody sending me a link to my fic being posted on "gaff" (god awful fanfiction). That was really mean lmao.

I just end up deleting hateful comments, anons, etc. Who wants to waste time on that?

Attacking or harassing real people over fiction is utterly ridiculous and I will never condone that.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Hello, so much smut!

I can write super explicit stuff that is really raunchy, or more flowery/romantic types. Fun, silly, sweet. Darker themes. I'm pretty flexible when it comes to writing smut.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I have. Probably RP? The other crossovers I've done are nowhere near as crazy as things can get in RP.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of??

It's harder to pinpoint with writing, I think. People can have similar ideas, plots, or just enjoy similar tropes.

Unless someone is copying your work word for word, lifting scenes, or using it for A/I... (A/I images & text are theft. We want A/I to help people, not to replace human creativity with regurgitated trash that has no human soul.)

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I think I had someone ask at one point but it was some time ago. I don't even remember what fic it was.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Does RP count?

Brainstorming, bouncing ideas off one another. Or even just doing prompts & requests... I think that counts as creating together, if not actually "co-writing".

14. what's your all-time favourite ship?

I have so many!!!

For FFXIV in particular, it's probably still tied between Haurchefant/WoL and Zenos/WoL at the top. Ships with Ysayle or Foulques!! Ships with NPCs that are job class or side characters.

I am really fond of Emet/WoL, too. Tbh, any Scion ship or Ascian ship.

I love them all...

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Don't call me out like this 😔

I want to finish so many...

Ones that I feel I have to edit to add to them, maybe? I just don't have the free time to do so right now.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Hmm. Research and dedication to accurate characterization??

Dialogue, I think, because I enjoy it very much, but that could also be marked in weaknesses because I struggle with certain characters. (Smart characters. Characters like Urianger who have a particular way of speaking, etc, etc.)

Setting the scene. Word counts go crazy with that.

Descriptive writing and character introspection. I can dive deep into that.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely perfectionism. I'm never satisfied. I want every fic I write to be a home cooked meal. Michelin star.

Also run on sentences and my love affair with commas, em dashes, and semicolons.

Keeping the tenses consistent.

World building.

Overworking. (Set word count? What's that? What if 3k fic became a 6k fic became a 9k fic. Oops.)

Having time/energy to write. That's a big one. 🥲

I'm a caretaker for my disabled sister, the designated chef of my household, and just constantly busy every day. I try to squeeze in writing where I can, but some days I'm just so tired and drained that I have basically nothing to spare for my creative pursuits. It's a definite struggle to work through that.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I like to read it! It's especially fun if it's a fantasy language like vulcan or elvish.

Unfortunately, I only speak English, and even writing in my first language can be difficult. I don't know any other languages well enough to even attempt writing in them.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Inu Yasha, DBZ, FF11. All when I was a teenager.

Then I didn't write again for years and years. Started up again with FFXIV.

20. favourite fic you've written?

I have so many I love, I can't pick one favorite... I'll just list a few of my favorites right now!

XIVSapphicWeek Snippets

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45529894/chapters/114564367

Ram x Ysayle & RamLynn

(Lynn belongs to my RP partner, @/lynnslight )

I had an AyaGer one planned but I didn't end up writing more before the week ended. I'm still gonna use the prompts & add to it, eventually ❤️

....

•Peculiarity

(Yes, again. I'm posting it twice)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/36427720/chapters/90829135

Hermes x WoL

Summary is !Endwalker Spoilers!

This is my current baby, I have the next chapter stewing. The start of the smut always has to be good, you know? The flavor has to be just right~

•A (Primal is a) Wish Your Heart Makes

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186616

Angst. Gerchefant? Primal Haurchefant. I have a WIP of the next chapter & it is angst and smut.

(You know what's funny? I've written/posted more Ger smut than Ram smut lmao! Sorry Ram. I love putting Ger in situations 😌❤️)

.....

Favorite series?

Amnesia Zenos, Villain Haurchefant, any Ascian fic (particularly fond of Attracting Ascians, I need to write more for that one.)

Amnesia Zenos

•Dancing In The Dark

Zenos x reader Insert WoL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868251/chapters/39610297

Summary: If Zenos had lost his memory, and WoL was the one to find him.

• Dancing In The Dark - With Two

Zenos x reader Insert WoL

Summary: One with Amnesia, the other without? Two Zenos? You can barely handle one.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868563/chapters/39611086

Villain!Haurchefant

•Villains and Heroes

Summary: “Shh, it’s alright,” the villain said. “You’re doing beautifully and I’m so proud of you. But that’s enough now. It was cruel of them to make you fight me - you could never have won. It’s not your fault.” Villain!Haurchefant

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868086/chapters/39609883

•Attracting Ascians

Ascians x reader insert WoL

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29053515/chapters/71312748

Summary: The Warrior of Light attracts Ascians like moths to light. Or the one where WoL Kisses Ascians instead of Killing them. (ARR. Early? Maybe. IDK, who cares about Canon, this is Fanfiction.)

....

Special mention to my WiP fics I haven't posted yet except for some snippets like that Ram x Zenos smut, the dark themed/dubcon Fandaniel fics that I'm excited about.

Also the Nu Carnival & Obey Me! fic I started that I want to eventually sit down and properly write...

(I know. Fic that isn't FFXIV? Gasp.)

And of course, the comms!!

I really try to write every comm I get like I'm cooking a homemade meal for someone.

I made it for you. Take a fucking bite bro, I love you man. (Gender neutral uses of 'bro' & 'man', ofc. It's like saying 'dude' to me lol)

https://youtu.be/tkUSCNr0aDE?si=uDbsApgeOLU_SvMx

....

Anyway, thanks for tagging me ❤️

If any of my followers would like to do this, I'm tagging you! 💕

[sidewayspeace444]

Justin’s dad? A man that was disbarred for being untrustworthy and a scab you are trusting?// being disbarred has nothing to do with posting a congratulatory Facebook post. Talk about false equivalencies

Lmao

That wasn’t a congratulatory post. He used an old photo, used their IMDB credits, and then was forced to delete it. Enough of this.

[flammalou]

Pixel art post !!! Antoine Croute + Daniel Croute

I forgot how posting on tumblr works LMAO So it's just a quick test because it's been years since the last time I posted something on here (I swear I used to have posts on here, I just deleted them because it was very old stuff XD). I actually need to publish and talk about my OC. It will happen at some point, I promise xD Not right now right now, but it will happen !! But for the time being, just enjoy these two pixel art of Antoine Croute and Daniel Croute from RPZ, a french GTA RP that happened in 2021. I watched the Croute POV recently and I enjoyed it so much. Now I need to watch tons of other POVs XD But I cherish so much the found family of the vineyard domain of Montazac. But I do enjoy the angsty stuff about them as well...... So much potential in AUs and stuff, aaaaaah. Like what if Cox successfully manipulated Antoine and/or Daniel ? Either making them not trust Donatien anymore or just joining Cox gang ? What if Cox really killed Donatien ? What if Donatien chose to kill one of the cousins in the final confrontation... ? (That one Daniel clip talking about how he was thinking that Donatien would have chosen to kill him instead of Antoine when Cox tried to force Donatien to "chose a favorite" made me feel so bad, that's where this angsty though of an AU came frome) So much things, so much things to think about... I will forever be a fluff and angst enjoyer, these are both parts of me. I can't enjoy fluff without imagining angst. Some of their episodes were mine of potential angst AUs anyways. But I swear I do enjoy the fluff and how their little story ended. It was very sweet. As I said, vineyard domain family is my current biggest hyperfixation x) Anyways, here are the two pixel arts of Antoine and Daniel ! :D

[clementinenoah13]

Entitled Opinions Part 2: Doxa

First of all, I am sorry for this late post. I have been struggling a lot mentally since election night, and these readings just hit way too hard during that time period. Anyway, onto the post.

In Part 2 of the book, Alford discusses "how doxa function [or dysfunction] as creative building blocks in digital media ecologies," (77) and also "All doxastic infrastructure helps distribute the formations of bodies learning to practice such motivations as desire," (71). She heavily focuses on how public and popular opinions can have good and bad consequences.

The popular opinion on social media can have its ups, but also its downs. Some people are capable of forming their own thoughts without needing to hear what others think or say, but some people need to, as the kids say, "touch grass" or they're very "chronically online". There are people like this everywhere, who get really hurt as if your opinion being different from theirs will harm them in some way. These people act as building blocks, for their opinions are now a part of the crowd, no matter how much we might want to get away from them. Thus, contributing to the functionality and even the dysfunctionality (if that's even a word lmao) of doxa.

Unfortunately, being a white woman at birth in the south, my extended family is a part of the "chronically online" crowd. You even bring up the name "Biden" or "Harris" and watch them turn red with rage and go on and on about how "they're ruining the government" and "they want to destroy America". They used to be so kind and caring, not caring much about politics. I could bring up my gender or sexuality to them, and they'd still love me. Up until COVID hit, and that's when I noticed a significant change, I even had to delete my old Facebook to preserve my mental health at the time. And, it's not just my family, it's a ton of older people, and even a few of the people I used to call my friends. They are seemingly being forced by like-minded people (at their church, on Facebook, and other places where right-wingers like to stay) into believing in these opinions that are more like conspiracy theories in a way. They are pointing out these "signs" that the world is ending all because abortion is a big, hot topic. When really, abortion is going to happen whether they like it or not. All they can do is stop safe abortion, which will lead to higher rates of death in women and girls. Alford talks about noticing signs and changing your opinions because of that, and how tempting it is to do so. I think it would be best if we all had our opinion that wasn't influenced by outsiders (or insiders in this case, ba dum tsss). Sometimes, I think it would be best to just turn off social media and sit in nature for a long time, not just for my sake, but for the sake of the people I love too.

[applctini]

RULES &&. GUIDES

GENERAL

i am a pretty flexible partner, but i can also be equally as slow when it comes to replying. i work anywhere from 32-42+ hours a week, this is a hobby not my life. as much as i respect your time in replying, please respect mine. never assume i've forgotten about a thread, because i promise you i haven't - i'm just a slow sloth.

i do not mind slight godmodding, as the characters of the hazbin/helluva verse are immortal, deities, creatures, etc. of supernatural origins. powers, strength, magic, voodoo, religion, all of it is bound to come into play one way or another. lucifer himself is an insanely strong being - he just doesn't use his power very often. the only thing that bugs me is others assuming what goes on in lucifer's head. the old cuck doesn't even know what's going in his brain except monkey banging cymbals.

no anon hate, i think that?? goes without saying lmao. it'll be deleted immediately. you can bully lucifer as much as you want, but i'm not tolerating that nonsense thank you.

YES !! those starter calls are for you baby! i want to interact with you. YES !! those memes i reblog everyday are for you !! i want you to pester me, lucifer, i adore having a full inbox because memes and asks are the BEST way to get my attention. you thinking you're not sure if it's for you? send in your own asks !! unprompted shit is my FAVORITE thing to see pop up on my phone as a notification. do it, bug me!! i'm not that scary, i am probably the biggest baby you'd ever meet tbh.

my icons are edited for me and me only, please do not take them, but i am more willing to share where i got the bases from so you can have your own !!

FOLLOWING

tbh i don't always look at my followers, i've been on this website since i was a kid. however that doesn't mean i'm not gonna follow you back. i mentioned i was slow, right? yeah, that - at most it takes me 2-5 days to follow back unless for some odd reason i really didn't see your follow. tumblr loves not notifying me anyways, so just keep that in mind !!

this is a roleplay blog. i will not interact with personals and i hope you respect that to not interact/reblog my posts. i won't block you so long as you respect this one thing i ask of. you're welcome to follow, read my things, but do not reblog anything from me that comes from me.

i don't do the whole follow-for-follow. that always annoyed me, it still does. i don't get it... just, no lmao. if i follow you, i wanna follow you. i wanna interact with you, not to just be a number.

OC's should NEVER feel discouraged with me !! my main multi is mostly oc's, i live off of oc's. i love them. i only ask that there's a base page where i can receive some sort of information on them - it doesn't have to be elaborate, but i wanna know them !!

TRIGGERS &&. NSFW

this blog will be heavy with mental health topics. it'll contain depression, panic disorders, anxiety, ptsd, thoughts of self harm, acts of self harm, martyr complex, and much more. if you are sensitive to these topics or anything you think might lead to these topics, please turn around and do not follow me. i tag everything, but this will be a big chunk of my blog regarding headcanons, certain threads, etc.

i adore writing smut, any forms of it, but i don't write it with strangers. it often comes with just shipping with me, which we'll talk about below. however, if we share a ship (or more !!) i don't mind writing it with you, any form, or at any time. i love the intimacy (or even lack there of oops-) when it comes to sharing a body with someone.

MULTISHIP YAY OR NAY?

YAY!! I am multiship*, i will gladly toss this clown around to anyone like the switch he is lmao.

i love ships, but i also ship with chemistry. i don't like forcing myself to fall for a ship that doesn't hit me and i wouldn't want to do that to a partner either !! it's easy to be a people pleaser on this site, but don't be afraid to tell me if something isn't working for you, i don't take any offense to it. we're all adults here, we can talk like them with our big words.

*i will mention more about my shipping in this post.

WRITING

i write typically from para to novella, occasional crackhead behavior here and there with one-liners. my asks usually wind up on the longer side falling into drabble territory because i love setting a scene, describing such little details that it's probably annoying lmao. you don't have to match me word-for-word, but i would appreciate if length was kept to similar status.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

me? i'm star, i'm 25. i work in retail, like i said i can be very busy during my workdays and may not always be available here. if you have my discord, don't feel discouraged to message me there, or even here if you don't. i will always try to make time between watching my department to reply to you. i'm often closing on my shifts, so usually by the end of the night i'm more eager to reply and like a chirping bird most nights. i'm under EDT currently (UTC -4H) so you can gauge my days.

[immortalbutterflycos]

My relationship with writing is getting too complicated.

I don't really understand why writing is simultaneously the easiest and most difficult thing for me to do.

I've always been writing. I think that maybe it could have started in elementary school, but if I'm honest I don't have many memories of back then. If I didn't really write in those years, it was probably because I was always reading instead. That much I do remember.

In middle school, it had been an outlet of sorts.

Bullied, depressed, just your average awkward kid I guess. I don't really know what actually inspired me to- wait. okay no. I do remember what inspired me to start writing. There really was a genuine notable moment in my life and that just seems like an insane thing to have forgotten until now.

The entire school was reading this same book at the same time. It was this huge event for a while. There were posters around the school and everything. (The book was 'Schooled' by Gordon Korman)

After we had all completed the book, there was an assembly for the whole school in the Gym that was led by the author himself. This was the very first published author I had ever seen in person and I was enraptured. Because for the first time, the author of a book I actually enjoyed wasn't just a couple of words on the cover, they were a real-life thing. A profession.

The moment Gordon Korman said that he had written his first book when he was in 8th grade, it was like a switch was flipped in my brain. I wanted to be just like him. If he can do it, then why couldn't I?

I truly did start really writing that day.

It was a story about a girl falling in love with a demon after her best friend got kidnapped (or something like that. There was a demon and a best friend named 'Jay'.) and it was written down in a composition book in pink pen. I think I actually still have that now that I think about it... Maybe I should re-read it...

From that day on, I was always writing. No, I never got anything published, but the passion was still there.

I've started to write/plan out a few different stories since then but they've never been completed and to some extent, they've been abandoned completely. (which is actually a big part of the actual point of this post)

Sophomore year of high school, I started writing so much that I actually managed to piss off some of my teachers because of it. Well that and I would just pull out the book I wanted to read instead of the one I was supposed to for class.

Listen, if they were going to force me to reread "The Pearl" by John Steinbeck for the 5th school year in a row, then I wasn't going to comply. I liked the book at first and then they killed it. They beat that dead horse until we were all like, "Hey maybe leave the horse alone??? Just let the poor thing die???"

Other kids got to read Shakespeare and learn about Greek Mythology but I hadn't read a single thing about Greek Mythology until my Senior year. BRIEFLY. I was so mad.

Oh, and Catcher in the Rye. Fuck that book. I read it my Junior year for school and hated it so much that I, the least confrontational person on the planet, got into arguments with my teacher about it. She was also a shit teacher on top of that so idk I think I just had a growing grudge that whole time.

Fucking hell. I don't even know if anyone has even read this far but fuck it. If I wasn't convinced that I had undiagnosed ADHD before writing this post, then I sure as hell am now.

Actually, that's a good segway. I'm going to cling to that.

WRITING IS SIMULTANEOUSLY THE EASIEST AND HARDEST THING TO DO AND I THINK THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.

Sorry, didn't mean to yell. (lmao)

Anyway, back in sophomore year, I started writing fanfiction. That was genuinely the first time I started writing something that I planned to actually be read by another human being other than myself. All of the work I did in high school is on my old Wattpad account. I wish I could delete some of them but honestly, I lost the account info along with the e-mail address I used to create the account so it just gets to live on the internet forever.

But yeah. That was a thing.

I was still doing regular writing on top of that, but I have been hyperfixating on things my whole life, and fandoms and writing go hand in hand.

The whole point of this, WHICH HAS TAKEN TOO DAMN LONG TO GET TO, is that I can write. I can write for hours and hours without wanting to ever stop. I have plans and journals and slips of paper and post-it notes all just filled with writing. Hundreds of Docs.

And not a single completed project.

That is my issue.

I can plan out a cohesive story but actually getting to the writing part is so fucking hard.

This is weird as hell because I've posted full chapters before. On Wattpad in the past and Ao3 since I got into Critical Role. Never finished a story but that's another issue.

Right now, I struggle to even write a full chapter that I'm happy with.

I don't know what it is honestly. but its frustrating to be capable of writing and then to not be able to write.

That's it. That's the post.

If any of you read this far, you get a cookie because goddamn...

[ownedbybooks]

I want to give a little update about this project of mine.

even though I love the idea to share my daily struggles to be productive, I found myself not being able to do so and, being honest with all of you and myself, the whole thing about using tumblr to document my process was a good idea but also a shoot on my own foot lmao.

I don't mean the project 50 didn't work for me, not at all! I'm still amazed by the fact that I managed to go to the gym everyday during last week. But, using tumblr posts as a "journal" did not work for me. I couldn't find myself to write down all of my thoughts and I realized I was also forcing myself to do so. Plus, it didn't have the same feeling of being private and introspective that I have when I'm writing on paper.

(Also I felt that having the tumblr app installed on my phone was not helping me during work time so, I thought I would better delete it)

So! I am going to continue the challenge (or better, restart it because I failed yesterday and today lmao), but this time I won't post about it like I was doing last week. Maybe I can do a weekly compilation of things I've done or a masterpost once I finish the challenge. I'm just shooting ideas right now, I have no clue whatsoever of what I can do while on it or by the end of it.

What I know I gotta do is that I will be journaling in the old fashion way from today on.

so, it's been a while since I've posted original content in this blog lmao.

I have been reading, that's fore sure, but my life focus has shifted a bit this year, since I feel a bit more secure to leave my house, after all that crazy stuff happened the past 3 years.

Still, I still love this space of mine on the internet and for the last couple of days I've been thinking about it, specially because I do believe that we change overtime and since i've been moving on with some of my life stuff, I feel this could be a start of a new era of this little blog. I don't think it is fit to be only about books anymore.

That said, i've decided to start posting more about the studyblr community and, mainly, productivity over here as well. Mainly because I want to do some productivity challenges and I feel that posting about it over here will help me get motivated and continue to do them.

So, may I announce that starting tomorrow (June 12th 2023 aka. brazilian valentines day) I will be doing the Project 50 Challenge!

I will be following the basic rules (+ my takes on it) of the challenge, that are:

wake up before 8am (my goal is to wake up everyday at 6am)

do your morning routine: 1h no distractions (i have no idea what i'm going to do except that i can't use my phone and i will be dressing up and making myself some breakfast lmao)

exercise for 1h a day (gym during week days and blogilates exercises during weekends and holidays)

read 10 pages a day (i will start by reading The Prince, by Machiavelli)

dedicate 1h towards a new skill (revising and learning French)

follow a healthy diet (no soda, no red meat and i have to bring my own healthy snacks to work +edit: follow the weight watchers program!!!)

track your daily progress in a journal (this space of mine will work as my journal)

PS: I feel some of my takes on the goals will be changing as the 50 days will pass by. For example, The Prince is a really short book, so I guess I will finish it pretty early on the challenge and then change to another non-fiction book.

As for why I decided to start this productivity challenge, I have to say that's because I have a lot of things to do right now, and I need to put my life in some kind of track. I need to do online courses I've bought and haven't done yet. I'm a bit left behind my reading goals. I need to save a bit of money and eat healthier, as I need to build consistency at the gym. So finding about this 50 day challenge seemed perfect to try and go back on track.

[britishhusbands]

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growing up w a sibling who is exponentially better looking than you really does irreparable damage to your self esteem huh