#lmao I said the word 'need' multiple times xD

[katyspersonal]

You've heard of me getting gradually Ironkinged after a dream sequence of taking a bite of Gwyn's soul, now get ready for Miquella dream adventures getting out of hand.. 🤦‍♂️

I've had an interesting dream, of a similar nature, where I was seeing some of combination of the beautiful world full of light the character created and reflection of inner processes maybe. Miquella's world had a much more gentle light though, not burning sunlight. Very pretty buildings, everyone petting rabbits and baking cookies, the sweetness and naivety of it all.. And I saw various people who were enemies being friends now. I recognized some from irl that were fighting all the time, and youtubers that were harassed by their ex also youtuber friend forgiving her and playing videogames together. I started to go deeper seeing some people I knew online, even mutuals (looking either like their personas or toned-down characters I associate them with XD). Everyone were just napping or preparing next fun activity..

And at some point Miquella saught me and told me that he had a gift for me too. He said that all people I've hurt were happy now and people who meant me harm calmed down and many even wanted to be friends now.... That almost made me cry, but I felt a bit uneasy and refused to go meet them. I felt like I had to escape, even if I forgot why... Like it was all too good to be true. He just told me it was okay to need time, but I could see it in his face that he went on guard. And as I delved deeper into dream I saw it was true, as some places got fences before them and some doors got blocked, like to restrict my way. But I had a very clear thought: "I didn't die (by committing suicide) after everything they've done to me, and so now I will make the whole world suffer (for the mistake of letting me live)". And then "this is not how it should end, only if they pay I will be happy and if he wants to help he must know this" (fuckin Hornsent moment lmao ffhygfjhhf)

Basically, I've chose violence, and I tried to fix my ear to telepathically hear people's "true" thoughts, under enchantment. It was surprisingly hard to detect any hatred towards me, but I've heard something like "I don't believe in her anymore and keeping my emotional distance" and chased it. It was someone who used to be of very positive opinion about my personality before they indeed stepped away. I knew I needed to harm them, but... there were no fucking weapons in this whole place. At all. I tried to search for a blade and getting annoyed "with that saccharine plush world of blooming flowers and kissing bunnies" (my words from the dream). However, I caught that person cooking sweets for everyone to come enjoy them later.... and cutting them with a kitchen knife worked. The world roared, yellow light filter over it scattered, and I woke up.

________

Honestly, "Hornsent moment" might be not even a joke because I did sorta feel like projecting onto him strongly just before sleep. But also, in general, recently I've been scared. I am so scared all the time. I've been noticing that I've been sorta healing on multiple levels. Happier, rediscovering self and things I used to love. And I am so scared that I'll become a part of this world. Misery became my God that guides me and I heard it for a while, that keeps me separated from the world and keeps me fixed on remembering my true purpose and nature of things. Mostly associated with sea and darkness. I don't seek light of heaven or fires of hell, but the dark space between them. Yet when I am happier or healthier.. I stop hearing it. The signal has been weaker, and I am terrified to forget it. I barely dealt with Man in the Mirror vanishing, but now.. i am scared nonstop that my misery, hatred, anger, grudge and pain will be taken away from me. What will be left? I don't want to be rebuilt like Theseus Ship.

I've been waiting for a sign like another no-good agent of chaos I'd follow to cause rifts. Heck, HIM returning into this fandom would've been enough. Sometimes I want to crawl back to him despite all he's done, because he feels like the key to not get swallowed by this world. To hate and thus keep myself safe. Or maybe a new person hellbent on deleting me from this world would be great.. I start to hate them for allowing me to catch them. Maybe had I not exposed them to protect myself and my friends, the voice of my horrifying God of dark and water would still be so.. so, so loud.

And for now all I can say is that this kid is getting on my nerves, and pray that I can regain my focus. I pray that it will show up to me and not let me burn or bloom. I can only wait now, I've became too weak to cause chaos.. maybe this is why it believes I am not worthy of keeping anymore. I am thinking and waiting all the time, to not lose touch with misery.

[sweetestpopcorn]

Hi!! I love your fic,The Blacks and The Greens is my favorite F&B fanfiction,specially your Rhaenyra,I’m in love with her! I wonder why you ship Daemyra if you think Daemon never really loved Rhaenyra in the book,I get where you come from but if I actually thought that I could never ship them,like if he was always using her and even less if he in fact ended detesting her and abandoning her and their family for a teen girl,I couldn’t ship them if I thought that was the case lol I would despise Daemon actually lmao

Hi there 😊

First, thank you so much for your very lovely words and I am very happy you like the story and how I write the characters! I do put a lot of thought in them so I am very pleased and especially that you are mentioning Rhaenyra because Daemon is usually everyone's fav XD

I am confused, however, when you say: "I wonder why you ship Daemyra if you think Daemon never really loved Rhaenyra in the book,"

Where exactly have you hear me say (write) this? I have never said this.

What I stress is the fact that from everything the books present us about Daemon I do not believe he would be able to love a woman let's say like his father Prince Baelon loved Princess Alyssa. That is just contrary to his character and to whom he is. But that in no way means I find him incapable of love and affection in any way. I don't.

I discuss Daemon's feelings for Rhaenyra at great lengths in here as well as what love meant for someone like Daemon. It's undeniable that he desired her, that she had given him things he wanted (sons especially), that she possessed many of the traits he was looking for in a woman, that he was adamant about being the only man in her life, that he remained loyal to her until the end and died for her cause -> make no mistake, Rhaenyra and Aegon III would have been beyond doomed. Not to mention that the two of them were similar people. Both of them are described as bold, charming when they wanted, slow to forgive, hot-tempered, Rhaenyra is described as proud and Daemon is shown to be proud through his actions. Both were shown to be arrogant and passionate... do I need to go on?

How strange is it that two people who have as much in common as these two had develop feelings for each other?

Not strange at all, and contrary to popular belief we usually do not stay with our opposites, we stay with our similars. Research shows that 6s stay with 6s and 8s with 8s. Yes, I am aware there are exceptions but research is usually conducted for the majority.

Back to your ask now, I at no moment ever said he didn't love her in the books and I do not believe it. Many "intellectuals" and "neutrals" have this take, and like i have said multiple times, a lie told too many times becomes the truth, and that happened with Daemon and Rhaenyra when I joined this fandom. The dogma was that Daemon's true love was Laena and that he had a complete personality shift when she came along, like he was Satan became Jesus, and then switched again when she died -> because of course that love changes people, said no one who ever took psychology 101 ever - and he was a terrible husband to Rhaenyra though we do not see any of this prior to mid-way through the Dance. In fact, he went into a lot more work to woo Rhaenyra than he ever did Laena, but that spoils the narrative so let's ignore it *wink emoji*

That was never my take on Daemon or on Daemon and Rhaenyra's relationship even because I do not see evidence in the text that supports such claims. "Oh but just because it isn't said doesn't mean it's not true." Ok this game again, then I can defend that Corlys had a secret twin brother. Yes, it's not said, but that doesn't mean it's not true. So prove to me good folk online that Corlys didn't have a twin brother? Oh, you can't? Exactly.

I enjoy the toxic aspects of their relationship as well. I enjoy the chaos, it makes them entertaining in fiction. To me they are the most interesting couple and I will again use the metaphor that to me Daemon and Rhaenyra are two people playing a game of chess that neither can win and they both know it.

All the best to you, and happy new year ☺️

[anotherghoul666]

Owlish is here to talk about owls, wohoo!

But also a quick reply to you: Fuck yeah for 4 days without crying, that's awesome! Hopefully it's more already (even though it's obviously okay to cry. Crying can be very helpful. But I just hope there was no need to cry)

Oh Glaux, I know that stuff with habits XD I'm so glad taking my meds is an absolute habit by now cause otherwise I'd never ever remember it haha

Waiting lists for therapy and that shit is AWFUL! (And that even though I'm lucky and in a country with a rather good healthcare system)

I also know that being shut down for excitement or talking ‘too much' and shit. It's awful.

Thank you. I think I'm currently finding a few people. They don't know anything (well they do know what owls are for example, but you know) about my interests but they let me talk and whenever I get scared of talking too much (I usually just stop talking then or I start apologising) they tell me to go on cause they love how they can see the excitement when I talk about that. It's sad that it took me going in a psych ward to find people that are accepting me, but at least I've found them. I wanted to talk about that anyways cause it has something to do with autism, but l'Il do that another time.

Cause now it's time for stuff about owls. (I probably will struggle with correct words sometimes as I'm ESL and I only know quite a few of those words in my first language. But I'll try!

So! First of all: Owls (Strigiformes) are divided into two families. Barn owls (Tytonidae) and the true owls (Strigidae)

I‘m gonna start with the Tytonidae.

Those get divided into two Genus (I really don‘t know the plural of that lmao), Tyto (17 Species) and Phodilius (2 Species. At the moment at least, cause maybe one subspecies is an own species as well which would make 3 species then)

Classic examples for Tytos are the Tyto Alba (Barn Owl. I hate how that‘s the same name as the family) and the Tyto multipunctata (Lesser sooty owl) When hearing the regular English name, one may ask themselves if there‘s a greater sooty owl to which I can respond with yes, there is. It‘s the Tyto tenebricosa.

For Phodilius, there‘s Phodilus badius or Oriental bay owl as an example. It has multiple subspecies, including the Congo bay owl (Phodilus prigoginei) which is said subspecies that might might be its own species. Another example is the Sri Lanka bay owl or Phodilus assimilis, which was considered as subspecies of phodilus badius as well but is now considered to be its own species.

Now onto the Strigidae:

The true owls have way more different Genus, including Bubo, Strix and Asio.

Bubo includes fish owls (those were considered it‘s own Genus (Ketupa) a while ago but now they are all found out to be Bubos), horned owls like the Great horned owl Bubo virginianus, eagle owls like Bubo Bubo (Euriasian eagle owl) [I always find it a little funny when the name of a species is just the name of the genus again] and the snowy owl.

The snowy owl (Bubo scandiaca) was considered to be an own genus as well (Nyctea), simply because they look so different from any other owl, but they turned out to just be Bubos as well.

That was it with the basic facts I think!

Now onto two funny owls:

Athene cunicularia, the burrowing owl.

They are super strange owls for a few reasons. They nest in burrows (which is weird for owls cause they usually nest in trees as many birds do). But it’s only logical as they are found in dry area with low vegetation. Also, they prefer to run over flying when hunting. Therefore, they developed longer legs. While it makes sense, it does sound a little weird when you hear about an owl that lives belowground and runs to hunt.

Also, they always look like they‘re judging you or like they are mad on pictures which is just super cute!

The second one is Micrathene whitneyi or the elf owl which is the world‘s smallest owl! They‘re the size of a sparrow so they‘re really tiny! The sounds that they make sound a bit like chuckles which is super cute!

Also, the name of their Genus (Micrathene) is a combination of the Genue Athene and the word Mikros that means ‘small’, which is super smart and cool to know (at least in my opinion haha, but I find pretty much anything about owls super cool and interesting so I’m biased).

Micrathene whitneyi always looks like it is getting caught or like it caught its parents having sex or something like this. (I‘d always send pics with it but sadly that’s not possible when on anon, but I could send you some per private message if you want that).

Thank you for letting me talk about owls, have a nice day! x3

~owlish anon

Ok I took a bit of time to answer this because I wanted to be at home on my computer with the time to look up all the cool owls and get a visual on all the names, and it was so worth it!! This was a super interesting read Owlish! I did not know 90% or the information you shared besides the names of some of the owls I think I have locally.

It was awesome to check pics of all the names you pointed out, because there were some funky creatures in there I've never seen before! Yo the phodilus owls are so elongated compared to the tytos, it's fascinating to think how thew difference in habitat and region can make a animal's face round or elongated, that's very cool. Both of the sooty owls look like they've seen some Shit XD

The owls with the tufts of feathers that look like ears like the bubos make me want to pet those ears so badddddd. I know the owl probably wouldn't be down for gosh it looks like it would feel like when you pet a cat's ears down but more feathery and springy and my stimming brain says "yes, sensory seek this texture, looks stimmy" xD Bubo ketupa also has seen some shit holy fuck XD

Ooooooh I feel I've seen meme videos if the burrowing owl before but I didn't know which type of owl they were, this is so cool!! Yeah their legs so look completely different from what I imagine an owl's legs looking like in my head. They look like they can kick you in the face if they don't like you hahaha. They are Unimpressed with humans haha.

Oh my god yep you're right the elf owl also looks like he's seen some Shit XD Those pictures are so funny. It's interesting how some owl can look so magestic and calm, like the snow owl or the barn owl or the great horned owl, and some owls look like they're experiencing a very bad hallucinogenic trip and the walls are melting XD It's adorable that it's so smol too, what a smol little potato of a creature.

That was lovely Owlish!! ❤️❤️ Please don't hesitate to come in my inbox to share with me about owls, I love learning like this! I had a great time and I feel I learned a lot!

Take care now ❤️

[raamitsu]

Tbh when I stated my opinions towards mikey in the latest chapter, I wasn't hating on him. This poor young man needs therapy, of course I see that. Besides, you can say the same for other characters like Taiju, Minami, Izana etc. (though both Minami and Izana are dead but if they're alive they too deserve a guidance towards a better life just like Kazutora). I didn't even surprised, NOT A SINGLE BIT, that Mikey always shown to take things way too far from what a usual delinquent boy supposed to do and you're definitely right about most TR manga readers reacting as if they're just seeing Mikey did all the kicking, punches in the recent arc for the first time but just because he often does, are you suggesting people need to stay calm and shut up about it? Absolutely no lol and I hope you can respect that too. You may say these people did not read the manga correctly/don't understand what this manga is all about but I guess there's nothing wrong about people genuinely reacting upon it and saying that Mikey went too far (even though he explicitly did and it looked worse)

Furthermore, I give my respect to some Mikey stans/apologists who pointed out how unforgivable his actions are and defended him regardless (some of yall can be a lawyer already istg). Some people need to understand, realized that this young man called 'The Invisible Mikey' is an identity mask to hide his true appearance and Sano Manjiro is the one who needs to be saved. I think everyone would agreed if I say that Mikey needs someone to tell him it's okay to be vulnerable because by being so, that's just show how human he is and how it implies that everyone is just the same at the end of the day. He doesn't have to be killed in order to free him from his pain, even though you can't accept his behavior or hate him as a whole. At least have some considerations towards his character's complexity. Suicide is not a solution, not even a painkiller to trauma, mental illness etc. All he needs is an approach, unconditional love, and once again... therapy.

Although I gave a little blame to Takemichi for his stubbornness and often ignoring red flags, the time leaping between him and Mikey wasn't occur intentionally. Just like some people said, Takemichi swore to help him in the same future timeline (because he realized he couldn't trigger the time leaping again with Naoto due to their accomplished goal so there was no point to figure out how to). I always respected and still respect for his selfless side, and his determination to complete his goal, although he's kinda idiot sometimes lol, but his POVs towards Mikey is contradictory/optimistic compared to other characters especially the antagonists, villains, and that what makes him a bit careless. If you know, you know pls I'm too lazy to elaborate that haha. Anyways, with the way this manga is doing lately, I really hope its ending doesn't disappoint us. I'm rooting for you, Wakui sensei ! To finalize my post, I wish to all Mikey stans to remain strong mentally for more chapters to come. That's all I can say :)

[shadyteacup]

Helloooo, can you do headcanons on Dazai having a strong S/O (ability wise) like nearly as strong as Chuuya? Cause isn't he a literal God lol. Thank you :]

Hewo! I had a lot of fun writing this...it almost turned out to be a oneshot :p , but dw, I managed to turn it into hcs :D

Here u go~

Thunderstruck⚡

Dazai x gn!reader

Reader has a strong ability...like, rlly cool 😎 it's my dream ability

      This man is head over heels.

He loves how you scream over a cockroach but can rip people to shreds at the same time.

Since you didn’t mention any specific ability, I have gone ahead and given you a lightning ability.

Arahabaki is the god of calamity, that combined with Chuuya.

Raijin is the God of lightening. Your ability is pretty similar to His powers.

You can control the place, time and method of a lightning strike. You can also produce it on the spot and shoot it from your hands...kinda like Palpatine.

Your eyes turn arctic blue, with your hair flowing around you. You look like a literal Goddess/God.

He was mesmerised when he witnessed it in action for the first time.

You and Dazai were walking through Yokohama, observing the internal beauty of the city via small lanes and random alleyways.

Hand-in-hand, you two were chatting about how Dazai hadn’t tried the Napolitana pasta yet, despite living in a city that was rumoured to have invented the dish.

That’s when Dazai pulled you around a random corner and shielded you from the view of the road you two were originally walking on.

You knew better than to speak at such a moment and decided to observe and try to pick any signs of being followed.

Sure enough, you could hear faint footsteps come to a stop right at the corner, you two still being shielded by the corner. You both waited with bated breath, and after a while, the person went away.

Relieved, you were about to walk out of your hiding place, when a barrel placed itself on your head from behind. Your eyes widened and you froze in place. Dazai noticed the unknown presence and looked behind only to find you being held a hostage.

“Long time, Mr. Executive!”, the man holding you hostage said as he grinned at Dazai.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in prison, Ito san?”, Dazai said, offering him his own smile.

You could easily read through his façade. The smile was only a mask, covering his panic and fear. You had no experience in fighting, and Dazai was no match for this man. He had fought him earlier, but that was when he had Chuuya by his side. Dazai can come up with a spectacular and manipulative plan, and Chuuya, or his current ada partner, Kunikida, can execute it, considering their brawn. He was the brains, and his partners had always been the brawn. He can fight the occasional criminal, but Ito was a feared enemy of the mafia, who was both mentally and physically strong. He had always assumed that the mafia had caught him, and sent him to jail, thanks to the mafias feared double black, but apparently, he had gotten away, or had found a way to break out of prison.

“prison isn’t a place for a man like me; you of all people know that. So, I left! Decided to say hello to an old friend, now that I’m back.”

He moved his gun from your head, dragging it down to your chin.

“Turns out, my visit might actually kill two birds with one stone.”

Understanding the hidden meaning behind his words, Dazai tensed up. He couldn’t let him hurt you. He had to get you out f here. But how is he going to do that? There is no way out of this without either of you getting hurt. He must protect you, but what must he do?

You chuckled.

“Something funny, pretty thing?”

“Actually, yes.”, you say, “Do you know who you’re threatening?”, you smirk, your tone dangerously low and intimidating.

“You’re playing a dangerous game; Ito-san, wasn’t it?”

The man grabbed your chin, turning you to face him.

“I was going to let you go, but I suppose your naivety deserves a bullet to the head!”

You smiled, activating your ability.

A sudden jolt of electricity travelled into his body. Yelping, he let go of you. Using this window of opportunity, you kicked the gun out of his hand and pushed yourself away from him. Dazai quickly grabbed your arm, pulling you away from the man, and out of the alley. His main intention was to get you away from here. Away from danger. He hadn’t understood what had just happened, but he decided that right now, running was the best course of action.

You two turned multiple corners, crossed many junctions, and ended up at an open field. Beyond the field, a few blocks away, was a metro station. You two could head to safety from there. All you had to do was cross this abandoned field and get in the metro.

Multiple men, clad in a uniform of sorts, emerged from the shadows, circling you both.

“Thought you could run away, did you?”, Ito stepped into the circle, a proud smirk on his face.

“You will face the consequences for destroying my gang. We never broke apart, you see. All of us are back. And we will take over the mafia, defeat the ada, and control this city.”

“Good luck with that.”, you say as you let go of Dazai’s hand, ignoring his warnings to stay back. Kinda like that scene with odasaku :')

You spread your arms wide, activating your ability. Bolts of lightning shot out from your fingers, hitting a few of the men, dropping them to the ground.

The men had no time to react as you swiftly raised yourself off the ground, hovering over them, and unleashed your signature move, striking them with a large bolt of lightning from the sky.

The head of the group, Ito, activated his own ability, the ability to control metal. Multiple guns aimed themselves at you and began shooting.

You created a shield around yourself, effectively blocking the hundreds of bullets.

Meanwhile, Dazai sneaked behind the others, incapacitating them.

You continued to fight Ito, blocking his attacks, and sending a couple bolts his way, while simultaneously attacking the others. The field was a mix of bullets, sharp scraps of metal, and bolts of electricity.

At the end, Dazai sneaked up behind Ito, nullifying his ability, and knocking him out.

To say that he was surprised would be an understatement.

He had heard of an ability that controlled lightning, but this was his first time witnessing it in action.

'Heaven's Fury' was the name of your dangerous ability.

He thought it suited you very well..

You are calm and composed, but when angered, you can unleash madness upon your enemies.

You were always so elegant, and seeing you like this, using your powers and fighting atleast 20 people at once, he couldn't help but admire your majestic beauty.

Your ability gives me 'They tell me I'm a God, I'm lost in the façade, Six feet off the ground' vibes.

Dazai agrees with my opinion.

You look like a deity.

He liked the idea of protecting you, yes, but he found it so hot that you could protect yourself.

Hell, he now knows that you can not only protect yourself, but also take out an entire city on your own.

He would be much at peace now, knowing that he doesn’t quite have to worry so much about any past enemy of his taking revenge. You were stronger than almost all his enemies.

Will praise you, 24/7. He wouldn’t stop talking about it.

He wonders why you didn’t tell him, and you merely shrugged saying that he never asked.

He would brag about you to all his friends(ada members)

He would never tell anyone other than the ada members, though, as he doesn’t want anybody to do some research and find out a way to defeat you.

He prefers it to be an element of surprise and catch the enemies off-guard.

Loves watching the shocked and scared faces of those that decide to wrong you, leading to you using your formidable ability on them.

If you aren’t a part of the ada, he would definitely think that you’d be a great addition to the organization.

He would never ask you join, though. He wants you to be as safe as possible. It doesn’t matter whether or not you have a strong ability, he just wants you out of harm’s way.

Besides, using your ability can take a toll on your health too.

He just wants to see you happy and safe.

If you decide to join the ada, he will try to talk you out of it.

If you’re absolutely sure of your decision, he wouldn’t stop you.

Instead, he will accompany you on all your missions, and will ask Atsushi to come along too.

He is aware that you are extremely strong and don’t need anyone, but he will constantly worry about you, which is why he accompanies you.

Don’t get him wrong, he really loves you and trusts you, but he is just so worried.

So, don’t oppose him when he joins you, please. Poor baby is just really concerned for your health.

Will call up Chuuya and brag about you to him.

“My Belladonna is much stronger than you, chibi-kun ;p”

If you’re taller than Chuuya, Dazai will tease the hell out of poor hat man.

He'll be like,"LOL shorty XD. My s/o is both taller and stronger than you!!"

If you're not taller, it will still be hell for poor wine boy.

"I can't believe that you're weaker than my s/o! They're so much better than you, LOL"

"Shut up, bastard!"

"Pathetic chuuya.. You literally have a God inside you, and you're still weaker! LMAO"

I feel bad for chu chu :(

But, oh well, that's just them, ig :)

[posi-pan]

I’ve considered submitting this non-anonymously but there’s gonna be people who will attack me, so I’ll say this anonymously anyway (sorry about that.)

Okay, SO… there are some people who claimed that “labels aren’t for comfort,” and one example they provided other than pan being “harmful” is that a gay man wouldn’t call himself lesbian.

Like, okay here’s the thing: lesbians can call themselves gay. Gay men may not call themselves lesbian (at least I haven’t heard of any), but when it comes to pansexuals, they can also identify as bi, but not all bisexuals identify as pan. There are still bisexuals attracted to only two genders, or multiple genders, and can also identify as polysexual at the same time.

Those labels are based on personal experiences, and while the written definitions can guide them, at the end of the day, mspec (and aspec) identities CAN be based on preference and comfort. There are bisexuals who are attracted to all genders or regardless of gender, and with no preferences, just as there are pansexuals who lean towards certain gender(s) more than others. These sexualities are on a spectrum, with other sexualities. There’s bound to be some people who identify with more than one of them, because while they all have their unique aspects, there are overlaps. But even WITH those differences, people may still identify with more than one of them.

Then there’s the part where exclusionists say that “just because labels CAN be about comfort, doesn’t mean they SHOULD.” That’s when I realized they aren’t worth talking to, because they’re just spouting negativity. They try SO HARD to find segments of a book that says anything remotely exclusionist, and then when I gave the full context they sent d**th threats. Like?????

It’s just so weird to me. The GRSM community is supposed to be about accepting genders and orientations that aren’t the “norm” (non-ace heterosexual-cis, all in one.) It’s supposed to be about the romantic or sexual relationships between consenting adults (or people their own age), or lack thereof due to not feeling attraction to anyone. TERFs are bad enough, acephobes are bad enough, we don’t need panphobes or mspec phobics.

Anyways, that was long. Hope you enjoyed reading xD

i really hate the "labels aren't personal or about feelings or for comfort" argument. hate it with every fiber of my being. especially because it's never being said about all labels, it's always only directed at certain labels. i've seen panphobes claim choosing labels based on feelings is a "modern idea" which is hilariously ahistorical nonsense.

(also, if we don't choose labels based on feelings, what do choose them based on? whatever definition we technically fit? because if so, then how do we choose between multiple labels that we technically fit the definition for? seems like a lot of words to say "we only need l, g, b, and t" tbh.)

and like...basically arguing that a gay man wouldn't call himself anything else..........some men who others would call gay, call themselves queer, for example. there is not a single label that is inherent to an experience, because there has always been multiple labels that people can use (and also choose to not use any) that you cannot predict or prescribe them.

putting a name to our queerness *is* personal and can be about the comfort a label that we feel truly encompasses how we feel brings us. people who argue shit like this are just showing that they know fuck all about queerness lmao

[summerwritesfics]

⛓️The Centre Of Attention

Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang/Harumi Hasashi/Tomas Vrbada/Kenshi Takahashi/Shirai Ryu Warriors Length: 3581 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Gangbang, Clothespins, Posture Collar, Oral Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Ring Gags, Dom/sub, Femdom, Gentle Dom, Bondage, Master/Mistress, Anal Sex, Strap ons, Praise Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Spanking, Teasing, Aftercare, Polymory Kinktober Day 18: Gangbang + Clothespins + Posture Collar

Kinktober Masterlist

Notes: I really am just running out of things to say here. XD I’ve been distracted today so… Yeah. ngl lowkey surprised it’s taken me this long to write a gangbang lmao

This was truly a beautiful sight.

Kuai was on the floor on his knees, completely naked and his hands placed in his lap. Looking up at Harumi with his bright eyes, posture collar keeping his head high. She reached down to run a hand through Kuai’s hair. The way he made a happy sigh made her just want to do it more.

“Ready, sweet thing?” She asked, and Kuai’s eyes fluttered open and closed a few times.

“Yes Mistress,” he sighed, nuzzling his face into Harumi’s hand. She smiled and kissed his forehead. He made yet another sweet sound as she pulled away.

“Good.” She pulled gently on the lead, and causing Kuai to shift slightly so his hands were on the floor now. “Come.”

As she walked, Kuai followed her on his hands and knees. Internally she cooed about how obedient he was. Well, how obedient he was for her. Hanzo was never as lucky. She brought him over to a chair set in the middle of the room, and patted the seat. Rather than sitting down on it, Kuai arranged himself so that his chest was against the seat, legs down against the floor and his arms hanging over the other end.

She grabbed the red rope on the counter, starting with tying Kuai’s thighs to the chair legs. She took her time, making intricate patterns with the rope. Once they were secure she moved to his front, also tying one of his arms to the leg, while the other she left free. He didn’t moan or struggle the entire time, just let her do her work.

“Hanzo always complains about what a brat you are,” She started, adding the finishing touches to her rope art, “but you’re always so sweet for me.”

“I like you more, Mistress.” Kuai’s little smirk made her heart flutter, and she leaned forward to kiss between his eyes.

“I won’t tell him you said that,” she informed him. Despite it being clearly a joke, she knew Hanzo would still be in a huff if he knew.

She stood up again, walking over to the counter again and grabbing a ring gag. She glanced at the clothes pins, and smiled slightly. They were for later. Returning to Kuai, she held the gag up to show him.

“Open, pretty thing,” She softly ordered, and Kuai did as he was told. She slipped the metal ring between his lips, before reaching around with the leather straps and clipping it into the place. She didn’t want it to be too tight or too loose. “Does that feel okay?”

Kuai gave an affirmative sounding gurgle, and she pulled away, gently patting his cheek as she did. His mouth looked so pretty and inviting stretched around the metal. Kuai’s free hand reached for her arm, stroking down it. It reminded her why she’d left that one untied.

“Can you do the safe sign for me?” She requested, and Kuai removed his hand, holding up his arm to make a circle with his pointer finger and thumb. She rewarded it with a kiss. “Good boy. Remember, if you need this to end at any point, you do that sign and I will stop everything, okay?” Kuai nodded in agreement. “Very good. I’m going to go call them in now. Every load you take will be marked with a clothes pin.”

She waited for Kuai to nod again, before she once more stood up, pulling her phone out of her pocket. She gave Hanzo the signal that everything was ready, before rounding to stand next to the chair.

It really did not take long, for the door to click open, and for Hanzo to walk in. Behind him, were Kenshi and Tomas, then behind them a couple of the Shirai Ryu’s highest and most trusted members.

Harumi admitted this was not a situation she ever expected to entertain. When Hanzo, Kuai and herself were talking about sexual fantasies, she never expected Kuai to quietly admit he really liked the idea of being in a gangbang. She definitely hadn’t expected to find the concept appealing herself. The problem was if they were going to go through with it, they needed people they could trust, who wouldn’t use Kuai’s vulnerable state to their advantage or damage Kuai’s reputation as Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. Kenshi and Tomas were obvious choices, and they’d opted no one else outside the Shirai Ryu should be involved.

And that was how they’d come up with the collection of people they had.

The door shut behind them all, and she heard the lock being clipped. Hanzo was the first to approach, and once close enough his hand stroking through Kuai’s hair. Kuai’s eyes closed, and he licked his lips.

It seemed everyone else was waiting for confirmation it was okay to approach. Harumi was about to beckon them over, until it seemed Tomas grew impatient and stormed forward as well. This seemed to be what the rest needed to approach.

“He’s all yours,” Harumi informed them, reaching over to the counter for a handful of clothes pins and a bottle of lube. “Just remember what was agreed.”

“Of course,” Hanzo agreed, taking the lube from her before practically throwing it at Tomas. He was then reaching down to undo his belt. “I hope he didn’t cause too much trouble.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Harumi said innocently, watching as her husband brought his cock out. “He was absolutely good as gold for me.”

Hanzo’s face scunched up, before looking down at Kuai and asking “why are you always such a brat for me?”

Despite the gag holding his mouth open, Kuai did his best to stick his tongue out at Hanzo. Harumi looked away as she giggled.

She’d been so focused on Hanzo and Kuai she hadn’t noticed that Tomas was behind Kuai now, his dick already out and slick from lube. It seemed he wasn’t going to wait for anyone else. Harumi had always gotten the feeling that Tomas wanted more from his relationship with Kuai. She understood why he’d never acted on that, especially during the old Lin Kuei regime, but she couldn’t comprehend why he didn’t just spit it out now.

It wasn’t like either Hasashi had any issue with sharing.

Tomas hands reached forward to touch Kuai’s ass, his fingers digging in as he let them explore. Harumi watched, head tilted as Tomas spread Kuai’s cheeks. He rubbed his cock along the cleft, and Kuai shuddered in response.

Meanwhile Hanzo had removed himself from his pants, stroking a hand through Kuai’s hair as he slipped his cock into the open mouth in front of him. It seemed Tomas didn’t wish to be outdone, as he selected that moment to push in too, making Kuai moan around Hanzo’s cock. While Hanzo stilled, making sure Kuai wouldn’t gag, Tomas slowly began to thrust back and forth.

Harumi watched intently, mostly to keep an eye on Kuai’s well being. However she also couldn’t deny how erotic she found this. Like this she could take in the entirety of Kuai’s form. Watching as two other men took both his holes, the way he easily rode out the cock in his mouth and how his ass bounced every time Tomas thrust inside him. She bit her lip, her own arousal building although not immediately obvious to anyone else. She would hold out until her own turn, however.

Tomas thrusts were rough, snappy, like he wasn’t actually all that used to having sex. She supposed that his upbringing in the Lin Kuei and a lifetime of pining over someone he thought he couldn’t have would answer that. She considered going around to teach him how Kuai liked to be fucked, but knew her advice would not be wanted.

Hanzo on the other hand was exactly as he always was. Slow at first, making sure not to cause any discomfort of damage. Kuai’s eyes were fixed on Hanzo’s face, looking up in that innocent way only he seemed to be able to achieve. Hanzo had one hand on the back of Kuai’s head, keeping him steady as his cock slide in and out.

“He’s far more well behaved than I expected,” Kenshi suddenly said, the first person to speak since the sex had begun. He reached out a hand and ran it down Kuai’s spine, causing the Cryomancer to shudder again. “From Hanzo’s descriptions, I expected a lot more of a fight.”

Tomas face screwed up, looking like he holding back a comment. Kenshi chuckled after a few seconds, which made Hanzo look across at him with a questioning look.

Kenshi shrugged as he explained, “he said ‘why do you think I’m tied down and gagged?’”

Despite chuckling, she reached over the chair, Tomas stilling unsure what she was about to do. She gently slapped Kuai’s ass, before retreating to allow Tomas to continue to go at it.

“Behave, dear,” she chastised, resting her arms on the back of the chair, “you’ve been so good for me so far, I’d hate for that to change.”

Kuai whined, or at least that’s what it sounded like. Hanzo thrust forward and cut him off. Tomas made a sound akin to a growl, his fingernails cutting into Kuai’s flesh enough to cause red marks. His jerks got even more erratic, and after a few desperate thrusts, he made a loud moan. As he removed himself, he also took the opportunity to smack Kuai’s ass.

Harumi took one of the clothespins, pinching some skin in Kuai’s side. Clipping it onto him, he jumped ever so slightly at the sensation. Otherwise, he didn’t look in pain, so she decided he was probably okay.

“Ah, I guess it’s my turn now,” Kenshi said almost absentmindedly. Tomas stepped aside to allow Kenshi to take his place.

As this happened, Hanzo thrust inside Kuai as far as he could, making a loud groan. He thrust a few more times before finally withdrawing. Harumi once again reached over, clipping a clothes pin to Kuai’s side. He groaned and tried to move his head, but found it difficult with the collar on.

Hanzo rounded towards the back of the chair, putting his arm around Harumi’s shoulder and kissing her on the cheek. One of the Shirai Ryu stepped up to Kuai’s face, stroking his cock which was already out of his pants. Actually now Harumi looked, the rest all had their’s out too. Their eagerness was actually fairly endearing.

“Ready?” Kenshi asked, although if it was directed at Kuai or the man he was sharing with, Harumi wasn’t sure.

Either way Kenshi seemed to get the go ahead he was requesting, as he began to push inside.  The Shirai Ryu took the opportunity to slip his cock in Kuai’s mouth too.

On watching, Harumi realised how strange it was what you could learn about someone from the way they fuck. Tomas, unsure and inexperienced verses Hanzo, confident and knowledgeable. In contrast, Kenshi was rough, but his thrusts had purpose, he knew what he was doing and exactly what he was trying to get out of it. It was a surprise given his usually calm nature. The Shirai Ryu however was one of the more impulsive members of the clan, and yet he slid in and out with such care, it was like he was a completely different person.

It made her wonder what someone would observe about her.

“Your thought’s are quite colourful right now, Kuai Liang,” Kenshi began, his hand reaching to one of Kuai’s cheeks to grope. “If I had to guess I’d say you’re enjoying being the centre of attention.”

Kuai groaned, lifting his free hand to flip Kenshi off. Harumi once more reached down to give Kuai a warning slap again. He put his hand down.

“You’re very cute,” Kenshi started again, slamming into Kuai with enough force that it jolted him forward, causing him to gag on the Shirai Ryu’s cock. Kenshi begun to laugh, and Harumi didn’t have to be a mindreader to know Kuai was cursing him out internally. “No, I won’t shut up. How else are you supposed to know how good your making us feel?”

The Shirai Ryu made a very sudden motion, grabbing the back of Kuai’s head and holding it still. It was clear from the moan that he had cum too. As he pulled out again, he gave Kuai a quick pat on the head. Kuai practically purred in response. Harumi went to attach yet another clothespin to him. This time he whined a little with it, but otherwise didn’t make any objections.

Kenshi stopped his movements himself, buried deep in Kuai’s ass. He just gave a satisfied sigh, stoking one hand along Kuai’s back, while with the other, his thumb rubbed circles into Kuai’s hip.

“Good boy,” Kenshi praised as he pulled out, lightly caressing Kuai’s ass as he did. Harumi lent over to add another clothespin.

It didn’t take long for two more Shirai Ryu to take over. And this was how it went for a while, one taking Kuai’s front while the other took his behind. Kuai’s face and ass were red, but his eyes were glazed like he was in a haze of pleasure. Every time someone finished, Harumi lent over to put another clothespin on him. 4 became 5, that became 6, 7, 8.

The participants took turns, Tomas second turn was using Kuai’s mouth, his movements a little less unsure when it came to the front. Kenshi had his second with Tomas, once again taking Kuai’s ass. Another comparison came up when Harumi realised how vocal Kenshi was, giving his thoughts and opinions on what was happening. Tomas on the other hand, didn’t utter a word the entire time.

9, 10, 11, 12.

Kuai’s side’s were covered in clothes pins now, Harumi having to start putting them on the opposite side too. Whenever someone finished, Kuai wasn’t left empty for long. If Harumi was honest, she admired Kuai’s stamina, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to just lay there and repeatedly take it. Hanzo was the only one who didn’t go for another turn, he was waiting to share it with her.

It was at around 14 clothespins that it seemed people began to loose steam. The Shirai Ryu had left, thanking the Grandmaster for his generosity before excusing themselves. The only two left were Tomas and Kenshi, with Tomas once again pounding at Kuai’s behind and Kenshi using his mouth.

Kuai looked wrecked and exhausted, his hair loose and sticking to his forehead from sweat. He had handprints all over his ass, the skin around the clothespins beginning to turn red. Still there was a glint in his eye, that seemed to suggest he had throughly enjoyed the experience. Good. That’s all Harumi wanted from this.

Kuai Liang deserved to indulge in things that made him feel good.

Tomas have one last hard thrust, the noise he made sounding almost animalistic. Harumi offered him a clothespin, and he nodded as he took it off her. He tried to fit it to Kuai like she had, marking 15 clothespins.

As he finally pulled out he coughed and said “thank you.” He didn’t really stick around to hear any more, shoving himself back into his pants and making a beeline to the door.

Kenshi made a snort, but didn’t voice what he found amusing. Either way he himself didn’t last too much longer, forcing his cock right to the back of Kuai’s through, the sound of Kuai swallowing louder than it had been previously.

“Well, that was fun,” Kenshi commented, as he finally released his cock from Kuai’s mouth. He reached down to pat Kuai’s head, “thank you, you were so good for us.” Kuai gave a satisfied sigh at the praise, while Kenshi turned to Hanzo and Harumi. “I do hope you consider doing this again in the future.”

“We will see,” Hanzo replied, watching as Kenshi rearranged himself to be presentable, bowing to the both of them before turning to leave.

Now, it was only the three of them, and Harumi wanted to check that Kuai would be able to last one more round.

“Can you hold out just a little longer sweet thing?” She asked, and Kuai brought up his free hand to give her a thumbs up. “Good boy.”

As she walked over to the counter, she stripped off her robe. Hanzo had rounded the chair to reach Kuai’s ass, gently slapping it a few times as if to pass the time while Harumi got ready. She grabbed the strap on from the counter, slipping into it and strapping herself in. Reaching down to flick the vibrator on, she bit her lip as she felt it lightly rub against her clit.

She made her way back to the chair, going around to Kuai’s front. She rubbed the dildo against his face, smiling at the way he looked up at her.

“Ready?” Hanzo asked her.

“Ready,” She confirmed.

As Hanzo grabbed his cock, she watched as he started to push in, and she began to push the dildo into Kuai’s mouth. Her pushing forward made the base of the vibrator press against her harder and she let out a soft moan at the wave of pleasure.

Hanzo didn’t wait for ceremony, immediately rolling into a fast pace. Hard enough for Kuai to jostle with every thrust. Harumi pulled her hips back, before thrusting back in. Once more as she went in it pressed against her and stifled a moan, she reached down to hold Kuai’s hair as she began to get her own rhythm.

She looked over to Hanzo, who’s hips were still working overtime. He looked over at her with a grin. Lifting a hand up and beckoning her with his finger. She knew what he wanted. She lent forward towards him, the dildo going as far as it could, Hanzo doing the same. Their lips met, sharing a sweet chaste kiss that was far too soft for what had just occurred. Kuai whimpered and squirmed between them.

“Aw, I think he feels left out,” Hanzo teased, spanking Kuai’s ass again and drawing yet another muffled moan.

“We probably shouldn’t be too mean to him,” Harumi commented, yet still went in for a second kiss.

“He has been so sweet today.” Hanzo lent back again, hands gripping Kuai’s hips. “He looks like he’s had fun too, if the pool of cum on the floor is anything to go by.”

Kuai made an embarrassed whine, fluttering his eyelids. Harumi giggled, patting Kuai’s head slightly before she began to thrust back into him again. Hanzo continued his assault, clear from the way he was moving that he was trying to get Kuai to cum again. Harumi was mostly chasing her own pleasure, enjoying the view of her fake-cock getting slick from Kuai’s saliva. She was grinding against the base, both the pressure and vibration sending shockwaves up her. She was close.

Her thoughts were broken by Kuai making another moan that had Hanzo chuckling.

“There we go,” He whispered, and Harumi noticed his own movements were getting jerky, clearly close too. “Cumming for your Master and Mistress like a good boy.”

Harumi jerked, letting out a loud yell as she met her orgasm. She thrust her hips forward a couple more times, before finally pulling out. Hanzo was still at it, so she got down in front out Kuai, unclipping the gag.

“Just a little longer, sweetheart,” She soothed, as she pulled the gag away. Kuai flexed his jaw, likely sore from how long it had been forced open. She kissed between his eyebrows, “Hanzo’s going to finish in you, then we’ll get you cleaned up and comfortable, okay?”

“Yes, Mistress.” His free hand came up to grasp her shoulder. “Ah, holy shit.”

“Sh, it’s okay.” She cradled his head to her chest, carding her hand through his hair. “We’re almost done.”

Kuai whined and buried his face between her breasts, as Hanzo let out a cry. They all stilled for a moment, panting and regaining their breath. It was Kuai’s free hand still weakly gripping her that reminded her of the situation he was in.

She reached down to the arm still bound to the chair, untying the knots to finally free him. Hanzo had finally pulled out, and was also down on his knees, untying Kuai’s legs. Kuai clearly had no strength as he didn’t attempt to lift himself up. Hanzo reached over grasping Kuai’s shoulders and pulling him up.

“I can’t feel my legs,” Kuai admitted, still clearly out of breath. Hanzo began to pepper kisses along his neck.

“That’s okay, we’ve got you,” Hanzo told him, just sitting on the floor with Kuai in his lap. “What can we do for you?”

“Bath,” Kuai said, leaning into Hanzo’s touch. “Chocolate.”

“We can get those for you,” Harumi assured, moving the chair so she could approach and join the current cuddling. “Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yes,” Kuai admitted, the small smile on his face was everything she needed and more. “Thank you. I’m glad we could experience this together.”

“You are welcome,” Harumi assured, kissing the tip of Kuai’s nose. “Shall we get you that bath?”

“I’d like that.”

Hanzo hauled Kuai up bridal style, and Harumi rushed off ahead to get the door open, and so they could begin the ever important aftercare of their beloved husband.

[bansheeoftheforest]

I'm really attached to the idea of Henry meeting the assassins as a kid SO! I've decided that long before the games events he could meet an assassin(s) as (the child labor stuff was going quite a bit before 186whatever or 1885, whichever fused time this is)

And thus now I ramble <3

Kid Henry and his family are visiting London for a quick vacation (maybe a business trip as well on the parents part?) Henry gets separated from his family and one of the gangs kidnap him to make him work in one of their factories. Obviously this like. 10 year child cant really resist and is Absolutely Terrified. Maybe he's there for about a week? Mayyyybe a month? Until the assassins that probably have an actual group name that I just forgot, drop by and rescue Henry! He's a tad bit traumatized and just witnessed multiple people get murdered, but at the very least they were bad people. The assassins help little Henry reach whatever hotel his family is at and drop him off once they've located them! So now Henry knows these assassins are good! And if that's not enough reason to trust them he also probably wouldn't stop pestering his assassin rescuer with questions lmao

Fast forward years later! Evie and Jacob are on the scene, need whatever potion, and decide to ask local alchemist Henry Jekyll. They do what you said and slighty kidnap him and argue but instead of running away he sorta just sits there until they're done arguing. And is like "Hey I know what you guys are all about, I'll help as long it cant be connected to me and you pay well" (because knowingly being the stepping stone to someone murder deserves some pay. And also he needs it for the society) (also whatever way Jekyll actually said it was no doubt better worded than me XD)

And that's it! I'm tired so im going to sleep after sending this <3 also I got to the point in the game where I hide a dead body and those cops are so annoying. Esp since the ones I knocked out get reset once I die 😔

(I normally just imagine it as 1885 so I can ignore that the Jack the Ripper DLC ever happened and also so I can keep Jacob and Evie young bc I Do Not Like their older designs and my AC playing friend is going to bonk me for saying that </3)

(also side note; the gang Jacob starts is called The Rooks but the actual assassin gang I think is just called... The Order? The Order of the Assassins? I have no idea but ye <3)

Anyways!!! ABsolutely fuck yes I love love lovel ove this yes <3<3<3!!!! Oh my god getting helped and rescued by assassin's might have been a kick start to Henry's morbid interests, like in Bleeding heart he said it would be fascinating to get eaten by a monster, I am sure that being kidnapped and seeing assassins murder your kidnappers at the age of 10 would very much traumatize him and probably kickstart a lot of morbid fascination with a lot of stuff. Now I love to imagine the assassin just... Holding Henry as they jump over the rooftops bc it's quicker and they may or may not have some cops after them, and Henry is just so excited and fascinated and can't stop thanking them and rambling questions and I just want to imagine that the assassin/s are just so patient with him and just <3<3<3

That is the exact scenario I have been imagining for so long you have no idea how good it feels to ramble about it and have other people ramble it TO ME. I also love to imagine that scenario with them (Jacob) just... Knocking Henry out, taking him to the hideout/train, ties him to a chair, waits for him to wake up, Henry wakes up to Evie and Jacob arguing bc jfc Jacob DO YOU THINK HE IS GOING TO HELP US NOW???? They realize that Henry is awake, quickly explain the situation, Henry doesn't have time to answer before Mr. Green or Ned (have you met Ned yet? He is canonically trans and he owns my heart <3) enter the room and it's just the pointing spider man meme bc I really like to imagine Henry being friends with at least one of them, having gone to the same university or smt so everyone is just so confused and then they explain why they needed Henry in the first place and Henry just...

"Y'know, you could have just asked me? What do you think I would do, say no? When you are willing to pay so good for it? Especially since I know what you guys do??"

ANyways Henry becomes their poison supplier, cue shenanigans where Jacob tries to stop by for the weekly supply only to interrupt Henry when he is talking with a Lodger in his office, neither caring at all that the Lodger is seeing them, Jacob just jumping through the open window asking for the supply, Henry tsking and sighing that he has no manners and besides he gave him a supply just a few days ago does he think he just has a tone of poison laying around? Then sighing and admitting that yeah, he does, just straight up lifts up a crate filled with poison, handing them to Jacob, cursing his name when he leaves for interrupting him, then turning back to the Lodger like nothing happened jsdfhjsdfsdf

[redxblueihateloveyou]

i'm curious, what are your top 10 favorite rinharu moments in high speed and high speed 2?? i love the books. i don't understand why people say is impossible to ship rinharu if you read them...

Lmao who are those “people”? As in multiple? And are they from Mars? I do not get this. You cannot be serious. You probably meant “impossible not to ship”?

I don’t know about top ten, I love all of their interractions tbh, they just remind me of my fav type of romance in general. I know what are my top 5 I think, but after that I love everything, so it’s hard to rate.

1. My absolutely favorite moment will forever be the one, where Rin describes the way he sees Haru in the water, I’m seriously forever in awe, because, I’ve read a lot of books, and like... even period dramas got nothing on Rin Matsuoka, when he describes the love of his life. I mean, seriously, find yourself a person who sees you the way Rin sees Haru lol

Rin felt like he was touched by the light, that surrounded him with warmth. He turned around to see Haruka, who was glowing. Shining. Haruka was shining with every strong and confident stroke that he made. The outstanding energy, emitted from him, surrounded Haruka with the dazzling light and Rin froze, unable to look away. Rin’s heart was beating so hard in his chest, that he forgot how to breathe. Haruka stole his heart. And the further away he got from him, the more distance grew between them, the more uneasy Rin felt, like he was losing the control over his emotions. He was possesed by Haruka’s shining. His strokes looked as if he was hugging the water, his leg movements were so effortless and so elegant, as if water herself was moving him to the finish line. But in all these deceptively smooth and unhurried motions were so much strength and power and such incredible speed, that all his opponents didn’t stand a chance. His swimming was that transcendent reality. He was like a bird dancing in the sky with its wings spread wide.”

Dude... I’m like... still speechless. I mean, and not just this, but everytime Rin talks about Haru, even when he jokes about his stupid habbits, you still feel that he finds him so beautiful, inside and outside, that it just makes my heart melt. 

2. When Aki tells Rin that if you put him and Haru together, you get a perfection. 

“That guy has no sense of humor. He should learn by watching me, don't you think?" Rin joked lightly.

Aki laughed a bit at his words. "It's true. Add the two of you together and divide by two, and it would be perfect."

But I mainly love that moment, because like... Aki starts telling him, that Haru is not what he's pretending to be (like for some idiots in the fandom who call him selfish, that was the explanation for them xD) and how everyone always want something from him, and he never asks for anything in return and doesn’t have anyone to lean on (yup that’s what I said all along, too, with Makoto’s dumb behavior in difficult situations, he’s on his own there lmao). And she waits for Rin to deny it or like be surprised, but it turned out that that’s exactly how Rin sees him and that he cracked him from the very beginning. BTW, here’s your addition to the ask about Rin loving Haru for who he is and seeing him for who he is. I’m just in love with that moment, because I’m happy that he just... not only he knows him, but bc he’s not one of those many idiots who just don’t get it.

"Nanase-kun seems like he can do anything all by himself, doesn't he? He's good at studying and sports and even art. He really can do anything, right? That's why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn't it?"

Rin certainly thought this was true. He had only just transferred, but the image that Rin had of Haruka was exactly that. But even if Haruka didn't have the will to go out and get involved with other people on his own, it wasn't like he was completely isolated. On the contrary, he was considered the most reliable person in their class, and when people relied on him, he always did his best to meet their expectations. This was the strange balance that people around Haruka had to maintain.

3. The one when Haru calls Rin by his name for the first time. And I honestly for some reason didn’t even realize that this moment was in the anime until my 3rd rewatch (lol), but, man, little Rin’s reaction is the most adorable ever. I cry.

4. When Gou meets Haru for the first time and immediately goes “ah so you’re Haruka Nanase, the one, who my brother talks about 24/7...‘Nanase is so cool, Nananse is so fast!’” and Rin just goes red lmfaaaaaooooo.

5. When Haru says that he feels the fever running through his body each time he just sees Rin, but he doesn’t understand what it means... ahem.... OH WELL

6. When Rin tells them he’s leaving and Haru gets absolutely furious and calls him a selfish jerk, but then he feels his legs giving out and he thinks that he needs to be in the water, but then he realizes, that for the first time in his life it won’t save him and he’s so lost and fucking crushed. "you can’t just mess up my whole life and leave me like that” and “this can’t be true, I can’t be this weak.” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa fucking hellish angst... that mix of emotions was seriously hideous, at first he was so confused and in denial, he couldn’t even think, he literally went “who is leaving?” and then it just all blew up. Poor baby.

7. Just all the little moments, when Rin notices everything Haru does and falls in love a bit more each time. Like when Haru slowed down, when he saw that Nagisa is having troubles of keeping up with him.

Nagisa was earnestly trying to keep up with Haruka. If he kept up that pace, he wouldn't be able to run next to Haruka for the whole trip. That was how it had been yesterday. Nagisa's breath was coming short, and when Haruka saw him slow down a pace, he lightly turned his eyes downward. I guess that's as far as he goes.

A sigh mixed with Haruka's long breaths. Then, by just a tiny increment, Haruka let his pace slacken.

"Oh?" Rin said quietly. Haruka could almost hear him saying "You're so nice, Nanase," and he tsked inwardly. Nagisa caught up to him, smiling as if it hurt a bit. It looked like he'd lost the energy to keep talking.

Just cute, and they watched each other all the time, it’d be a bitch to count each one, but god, all of them were cute.

8. All the moments of Haru pulling Rin’s pigtails... hilarious, especially the RinRin one, but the funniest and my favorite was when Nagisa turned to Haru to ask him for a permision to call Rin Rin-Rin, like... all the rights to Rin belong to Haru and vice versa lmao I agree. “I’ll allow it” lolz shut it, Haru.

9. This moment: “Something happened inside of him that made Haruka incredibly angry, he was so pissed, that he didn’t even want to swim anymore. To think that someone like Rin could make him feel such powerful swirl of emotions and make him such a mess... he felt disgusted with himself.” Yeah, Haru, love is dat bitch when you’re 13 lol

10. The one where Haru whispers “sorry for making you feel that way” to Rin? The one where Rin’s grandma doesn’t want to go to see the relay, but then she suddenly does, when she finds out that her grandson’s future husband is in it? The “he at that moment realized that the only thing Rin was concerned about was Haruka” one? I don’t fucking know, you pick haha ANY MOMENT, ALL THE MOMENTS XD

______

BUT in all seriousness, I do not get how you can love Makoharu after the novels. Like do people just ignore these moments:

“Haru waved Makoto off like an annoying fly”, “feeling annoyed by his obnoxious care, Haruka went right past him”, “feeling like Makoto’s smile could turn into tears any second now, Haru turned away and went to the showers” (fuck this shit I’m out lmao), “complitely ignoring him, Haru kept walking”.

??????? is this... does anyone find this amazing??????!!!!!!!!!!!

Or when Haru was literally fucking losing it, cause Makoto just repeated everything after him and how he just lost all the respect in that moment.

“I feel like I should also get into running.” Makoto said it as it was a joke, but Haru knew for sure that it wasn’t. More than that, he knew, that Makoto was going to ask him that ever since the moment he found out that Haru was running this morning. Haruka fel annoyed, because he couldn’t find the excuse to refuse him.

Or this moment:

“Makoto was late and Haruka didn’t have any reasons to wait for him. Makoto can catch up with him on the way, they’ll meet at the swimming club either way. For both of them it’ll be better, if Haru went by himself, than stood there and waited Makoto, slowly losing his temper.”

“Haruka felt uncomfortable, cause Makoto looked at him, as if was a weak”

Or this:

"Did you know I was going to come out here?" Even though he knew it was impossible, Makoto couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Nope."

"Then, why…" are you standing in a place like this?

"Watching the sunset."

and I can go on and on and on

and the fishies... oh my fucking god, the fishies

***

I’m just saying, all these moments are not even funny. My point in all this, that like no matter how much Haru loves Makoto as a friend... or got used to him is what I personally think, I don’t think he’s ever gonna idk how to say this... respect him as a human being? admire him? And this whole situation... I just can’t appreciate such kind of relationships even in a friends way. 

1stly because Makoto’s behavior in general makes me have war flashbacks to some of my real life experiences (and yeah, I confess, it affected me and that’s why I don’t like his character a lot; because I don’t think many people know what it’s like to deal with these kind of people in general). 2ndly, cause Makoto fans keep trashing Haru and many call him selfish bc of the way he treats him, but what they don’t understand is that if it wasn’t for Haru being this harsh, Makoto would literally became even doormat-y than he is now (yes, it’s possible lmao). 

P.S. my favorite in the novels tbh is all the Haru “I’m surrounded by idiots” moments, like when they started to dig the frozen soil with little scrapes and he was looking at them like they’re morons and then just silently walked away and came back with a giant shovel... “if you keep doing this with your tiny scoopers, we’re gonna be here all night” and they then they just watched him as he did everything himself LMFAO I just love him so freaking much. I also think his relationship with Nagisa are incredible and so underrated, since it’s a huge and incredible part of the books. I just keep saying, Haru’d be an amazing dad, so I can’t wait for him and Rin to adopt xD

P.P.S. And what about the Free! novelization????!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

[b-rainlet]

I promised to answer this in a seperate post so here it goes!

(Sorry this took forever but...I think the length explains why ajsnsns)

For @honestmrdual who asked for Alice +/vs/or Jervis!

Slight warning??? For the discussion of kidnapping since I mention Alice and Jervis within my Rotten AU

Also Murder. And Suicide.

Also Incest. Duh.

Jervis vs. Alice

That's...a hard one but also super simple? Like, I don't think either of them would want to fight the other, you know?

Of course Jervis doesn't wanna hurt his love but Alice also would rather avoid a confrontation with her brother.

But since as long as one of them is alive, they're gonna play an eternal game of cat and mouse, it would've come down to a fight eventually.

And even though in canon Alice dies, I think she would win.

Because canon seems more like an accident than a strategic suicide (even though Gordon words it like it's one).

But if it came down to a one on one fight?

I mean, Alice is shown to be willing to shoot Jervis whereas Jervis never truly threatens her.

Like yeah, she's tied up but he doesn't threaten her with a gun (like he does at the Lee/Valerie/Jim tea party for example) and when they meet on the roof he's mostly super happy to see her, he doesn't even think about defending himself??

He just stands there, arms up and obviously wanting to touch/hug Alice.

(Which…I think about often ansnsnsn)

So if they didn't need Jervis around for longer, Alice would've definitely killed him.

Shot him. Stabbed him. Lit him on fire. Whatever she could think of at that moment.

And Jervis probably would be super surprised because?? Alice??? His dear sister?? Why would you hurt him like this if he only wants to keep you safe???

Also I have made a post before about how he never once tries to hypnotize her - possibly because she's immune but that's never outright stated so maybe he also just...wouldn't do that to her. And I lose my mind every time I think about that for more than two seconds).

Also also, if I am already rambling - when am I not - the way it would've given Alice way more agency if she would've chosen to die the way Jim seems to imply she did.

Since he goes 'She would've rather been dead than spend any more time with you' or something like that and you could argue that yeah, she does pull away from Jervis but I think that was more 'I need to get away' and less 'I'm actively choosing to get impaled now'.

Just imagine!!

Jervis once again pressing Alice to his chest, watching Jim and Harvey fight tweedle dee and tweedle dum, when suddenly Alice pushes away, frees herself and stumbles into the room.

And everyone freezes for a moment because she's yelling at them to stop and Jim's telling her to go hide somewhere while Jervis is trying to reach for her without getting shot but she's having none of it.

She's sick of running, sick of hiding, she doesn't wanna live the rest of her life like this, always looking over her shoulder, always ready to vanish again, never truly able to build herself a life, to make any friends, to do more than survive.

Mostly, she wants to be able to wash all the blood from her hands, wants to stop being responsible for people getting hurt, the ones close to her and the ones unfortunate enough to be in her brother's way.

It's her fault Jervis is in Gotham, it's her fault Jim nearly died, it's her fault Jervis manipulated and maimed and murdered his way to her.

Not to mention she's a killer too! It's in her blood just as much as it is in Jervis' and she's tired of it, of all of it.

And it seems for a second she's gonna go to Jervis willingly and stay with him (which is an option she knows, but it wouldn't stop the running and the hiding, wouldn't stop the detectives from coming after them) but no.

Instead she picks up Jervis' gun (that I think he discarded in that scene? If not, he did now ajsjsjs) and she shoots herself.

And everyone would yell at her not to do it, voices shouting and people running toward her before there's this loud bang and then there's silence.

For a very long time.

Anyway, since Alice made it very clear she chose to die, it would be harder for Jervis to delude himself into thinking Jim somehow forced her or tore her away from him (although he would probably still manage, it's Jervis after all) so maybe, they'd actually get to arrest him (because I can see him just...falling to his knees and not moving after Alice is dead. Maybe cradling her in his arms. There's no real reason to go on now after all).

But even if he gets dragged away like in canon, this minor change would've made Alice' death a lot more driven in my opinion.

(And if we still need her impaled then imagine her speech and then she lets herself fall backwards with her eyes closed and her arms outstretched and she still ends up on the pole).

(Plus, because I like multiple endings, two possibilities I would also consider very sexy but wouldn't make sense in canon since they need Jervis around:

Jervis kills himself after seeing Alice die - much like Victor Fries tried to do, because what kind of life is this if the one person worth living for is dead?

 Alice pretends she's willingly going with Jervis but she used the time she had while she was monologuing to acquire a weapon (maybe one of the needles Jervis used to draw her blood) and once she's close enough she goes for a hug and ends up stabbing him in the neck multiple times until he's falling down in front of her, slowly bleeding out, murmuring her name with his eyes open in shock.

Just....some musings you know akjssksm).

Jervis + Alice

Do I even need to answer this? xD

They're on my top ship list, they're right up there next to Jecco and Jerelina, but they also have scenes within canon that make my mind go !!! like Jerome/Lee and Jervis/Ecco do.

They're just....good. Very good.

I have...a lot of thoughts and AUs for them but I think I shared them all already because I can't stop blabbering about them lmao.

Although I gotta say I've been thinking about them within my Jeremiah/Ecco/Jerome AU (aka the Rotten Fic)

Specifically about Jervis being Alice' legal guardian since she was about 10 or even younger (since their parents died very early in her life) and Alice isn't exactly being held captive but everytime she tried to run away while she was growing up, the police simply brought her back to her brother.

Because she was a minor and he was her 'loving and worried' big brother - who also could be very persuasive and knew how to manipulate people in his favour - and soon she was known as a 'notorious runaway' and the people she tried to plead for help only smiled at her in that condescending way people do when they pity you.

'Ah there she is, the little Tetch Girl, poor thing, lost her parents so soon. Now she's a troubled kid, running away, telling lies. She can be thankful her brother is so patient and loving with her.'

And surely all the tales she likes to spin about her brother crawling into bed with her or giving her 'special baths' are simply a sign for her overactive imagination, a hurt child making up all sorts of morbid things to get some attention.

And now she's around 20 and she knows she's old enough, an adult now, they would have to at least listen now.

Or she could simply try and get away, out of town, the police can't escort her back to her house anymore, they can't stop her at the train station and tell her she's a bad girl for worrying her brother like that.

But she also knows Jervis would never let her, he would come after her and he would kill everyone she would dare to care about besides him.

He would find her no matter where she hides.

It's safer when she stays, for her and for all the people out there she will never get to meet.

I simply like the idea of Alice basically being in a kidnapping situation but no one realizes. She's the sweet girl living with her brother, she belongs at home with her brother, what is she talking about being 'at her brother's mercy'.

And it's gotten to a point where he put her out of school with the promises of 'homeschooling' to 'help her anxiety' and oh, isn't he such a sweet and caring brother?

Taking it upon himself to teach her at home, what a big sacrifice it must be for him to completely focus on his little sister like that, to make sure she doesn't get left behind!

(And of course, since Jervis can be...persuasive, no one questions whether he actually has a teaching degree or anything of the like, no, Alice is shoved into his arms with smiles and waves).

And as Alice grew up, got to a point where her words couldn't be brushed aside as child's talk anymore, she learned to play her part. Made some…mistakes, said the wrong thing to the wrong person and had to live with the consequences.

(Consequences the other person can't live with anymore).

So if some newer neighbours notice that Alice is never seen outside? Well, she's a shy girl, no need to be worried!

Her brother is such a gentleman and he does make it a point to introduce the both of them to everyone who moves into their street, did the same when they first moved to Gotham, going from door to door with little Alice on his hand to prevent any rumours from spreading to make a good first impression!

And even if someone does worry, they only need to wait until Jervis is gone for the day to ring the doorbell. Alice will open and invite them inside, will play nice and portray the little sister Jervis told her to be.

The neighbour will come back home thinking 'Oh well, the girl is a shut-in, nothing too out of the ordinary. It's a dangerous city after all' and Alice will remain in her room and fight back the panic inside her, knowing that if she didn't do her job right and they get suspicious....accidents happen all the time.

Of course this routine is gonna get disturbed once Ecco enters the scene but let's not get ahead of ourselves👀👀👀

(Anyways the inherent horror of being kidnapped and used by strangers - aka Ecco and the twins - vs. Being permanently kept in a glass cage that no one else can see except you and no one can ever hear you scream for help - aka Alice and Jervis)

Jervis or Alice

Okay that's a hard one! Like, harder than choosing between Ecco and Jervis because Jervis and Alice are kinda on the same level here.

I love Jervis. You know if you've seen even just a fraction of my blog lmao.

But Alice.....so much potential. Such a good fucking storyline.

(Jervis and Alice as two sides of the same coin? I'd even say they have a big 'star-crossed lovers, one can't truly exist without the other' vibe. I mean, you could even compare them to 'B*tjokes in a way - only the who hunts who down is flipped).

Also Alice is very pretty and I have an obvious preference for girls in pretty much any piece of media I consume.

But then you have Jervis, who isn't only involved in the Alice storyline but is also part of the J Squad.....you have the legendary Jerome/Jonathan/Jervis team up and all three of them being horribly into each other....Jonathan and Jervis basically being an old married couple....the way Jervis looks at Jerome which still has me losing my mind....also you have the Ace Chemicals Episode which single-handedly saved the 5th season......the superb Ecco/Jervis interaction......fuck, this is hard.

I love Alice and I need to talk about her more often but I think Jervis wins simply by having more interactions with other characters (and oh to have Alice around for longer.....have her face off against Jervis on the regular.....Bruce deserves a little ragtag team of protoheroes in my opinion so why not add Alice...).

...But I am getting off track :D

[ghostypau]

Loki Ep. 2 Thoughts

There’s going to be spoilers so... you know, ignore this if you haven’t watched this weeks episode yet.

Ok, I did post a bit at 3am, but now I’m a lot better so... let’s go c: -and sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, english is not my first language xd-

Loki and Miss Minutes: it was nice to see those two characters interacting with eachother, also, Loki trying to hit Miss Minutes with a magazine was hilarious.

Loki watched instructional videos: Gosh, he recited those from memory! and the looks of everyone were like “how tf this variant memorized all of that”. This makes me think something like the Clockwork Orange like foring Loki to watch that stuff -I don’t think they did but still-

Judge Ravonna Renslayer and Mobius: Their relationship is interesting, for me it’s like Mobius subtly flirts with the judge but also I can see trust, she trusts him so she lets him keep Variant Loki. I think that has a lot of potential.

HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO: I think that someone said that this waas going to be a thing, and it was. Gosh I laughed so much when the song started playing. That scene however, idk if the song fits, a lot of stuff happened and FOR ME the song was distracting a bit.

Renaissance Fair: It was obvious that Loki was trying to deceive the TVA people, that felt a lil bit... pushy? -is that a real word? i think it is- We know that Loki loves to talk, but it was like dumb talk.

TVA Archives/Library: The lady in charge was weird, but funny. “You don’t exist to me unless you ring the bell” and “That’s classified” moments were really fun. Loki reading about the Ragnarok was harsh, for a moment I thought that that moment was going to be like when Mobius showed him the death of his loved ones, literally I was ready to cry but at the end it wasn’t like that (I mean Loki’s affected of course, but not a lot).

Loki Theories: First, poor salad. Second, Loki in that scene was us fans trying to figure out what is going to happen in the show lmao (you can’t change my mind on that!) and Mobius was like someone outside the fandom hearing nonsense.

Pompeii: Chaos to the max, nothing else to say here. Hilarious Loki and Mobius scenes. Must add Loki speaking latin lmao

Multiple apocalyptic events in the future: I’m surprised? No. I’m intrigued? Yes. 2050 it’s not that far... think about it.

“Evil” Loki Variant: There’s a lot to unpack here. Loki using his magic to dry himself lmao. “Evil” Variant powers are intriguing, they possessed 3-4 people while talking to Loki, wow, just wow. Lady Loki (I think it’s Lady Loki, until the show says otherwise) revealed!, I knew this was coming but not so soon D: “This is not about you” I think, she meant that this was not about Tom’s Loki but about Sophia’s Loki.

Multiverse of Madness: Lady Loki unleashed the multiverse in a moment and we see some of the branches (Asgard, Sakaar, Titan...), TVA in chaos... Like Chris Evans said “This is gonna be amazing”. lmao

Cliffhanger/End of episode: Loki will be back at the TVA Mobius, don’t look at him like that. Where did they go? that’s something that we’ll have to wait until next week :c 

Overall a good episode, but imho I think first one was better :P (even tho I was crying while watching it)

I think that’s it for now, I need to watch the episode a second time and take some notes. EDIT: Ok so, aparently it wasn’t Lady Loki it was Sylvie Lushton/Enchantress. How do I know this, the credits lists Sophia DiMartino as “The Variant” but in the Castilian credits is listed as Sylvie.

[sneezingpotatoes]

Merry (LATE ASF) Christmas xD

Over a year late, but... You know?😂😂😂 I come baring gifts! xD Gotta keep my word no matter how long it takes lmao

Okay so I got my ex-best friend to draw Draco for me xD LOL She’s vanilla and doesn’t know about my kink so I had to kinda sneakily ask her to add the blush and stuff lmao BUT FOR THE MOST PART, this is my OC Draco xDD She did a good job with it! That’s him feeling all sickly in the story xD I might get her to draw my other OC’s too! If you want her to draw for you too or see what else she drew, her instagrams are: @ixreikoluxi and @ixreiko_luxi ((Just dont message her anything kinky LOL but she does do commissions on anime art!)) Also I tried new things in here... And there’s a lot that be happenin in this fic so hopefully it’s a good read lmao xD 

ANYWAYS MERRY (LATE ASF) CHRISTMAS AND ONTO THE FIC XD I think it’s around 15k words OvO ENJOY

December 23rd

 A soft murmur slips past Draco’s ears through the darkness of sleep, earning a sleepy snort and a shift on the couch from the sleeping drunkard. The murmur wasn’t loud enough to fully wake the hungover excuse of a man resting on the couch, but it did plant the seed of a weak headache into his temples from the lingering alcohol flowing through his veins.

“...co ... Draco! Wake up, please.” 

The gentle shaking of his arm causes Draco to slowly stir awake. The rugged man lazily blinks a few times, trying to get his eyes to focus through the dim light on the face hovering above him. He winces as he’s greeted with a sharp churning in his stomach from his heavy alcohol consumption the past few days, cursing at the situation entirely.

“Shit. Wahtimeisit..? Wahdoyouwant?” His voice was deep and groggy from sleep, words slurred from his mind and mouth both sluggish and still trying to register and function at the thought of being awake so early.

“It’s 10 ‘till 6am. I need you to do the Christmas shopping for me while I’m at work today.” The gentleman firmly instructed. Shit. He had forgotten about that. The rugged man audibly grunted, rubbing the sleep out of his tired eyes. “I left the shopping list and some money on the table. Do not forget about it, Draco. I mean it.” His voice was strict and bold, leaving a mark on Draco’s deafened pride. The gentleman locked the door behind him and was gone before Draco could even attempt to respond. 

“Could’ve at least turned off the fricken light, jeez.”

He groaned, dreading the long day of shopping he had ahead of him. Every time Reuben had asked him to go to the store for him, it was always at least a four-hour endeavor, seeing how Reuben always had items on the list that he had never heard of, and the nearest shops around his area were all unheard of and he had no idea where any of the items were. Even if he did go shopping on a regular basis, he was sure that he would still be lost in each of the supermarkets. Christmas was in two days, so that meant that everyone was out and about, doing their last-minute Christmas shopping, just as he was about to, seeing how he had waited nearly a month to even think about the list. Yeah, Reuben had warned him about this multiple times, that’s why he had made the list ahead of time, but Draco didn’t care. Well, he didn’t care until now. The rugged man cursed to himself just thinking about the long shopping list and having to deal with crowds of people. Why did he have to do all the damn shopping, anyway? ‘It’s not like you do anything all day, anyway. You just lay around or go to the bar and get drunk. The least you could do is help out around here and go to the grocery store.’ He could hear Reuben’s nagging voice already engraved into his memory. They’ve had this conversation once before, and Draco hated to be reminded of it. He sighs, shoving away the memory and slamming his eyes shut, trying to return to the peaceful slumber that he had been rudely awoken from.

4 hours felt like minutes according to Draco as he was rudely pulled out of sleep by warm licks to the tip of his nose. At first, he shoves the clever feline back away from his torso and rubs his freshly licked nose, sluggishly trying to go back to sleep. Absinthe returns a couple of seconds later, gently sitting on his chest with a soft ‘meowrr’ that makes the rugged man bat an eye at the creature.

“Jesus Christ, cut it out, will ya!?” The man grunted, remembering that he was supposed to feed the feline two hours ago, and that he probably wouldn’t hear the end of it with Reuben when he got home. She speaks again, hopping onto the floor and stretching outward near her food bowl. “Alright, alright already. Shaash, I’m goin’.”

Brain still foggy from sleep, the rugged man brought himself to his feet, releasing a loud, well-needed yawn that forced his jaw to slack all the way open as he headed into the kitchen, feeling the patient feline watching his every move. He takes the can of cat food from the cabinet and sluggishly places the food in the bowl, having Absinthe instantly begin to eat the protein packed meal.

“You’re welcome, little bastard.” He mumbled as he watched the feline scarf down the mushy substance, gliding a gentle hand behind her ears. “Must be good, huh?” It was odd. Draco normally judged Reuben for speaking to his feline like an actual person, but it was actually quite soothing to say the least, as it brought a wry smirk to his face. Obviously, he wasn’t going to tell Reuben that. The black cat abruptly stopped eating and peeked her head at the man crouched directly behind her, purring when he rubbed the right spot. He gave her one last rub before getting up to grab a change of clothes.

He called an Uber after taking a decently long, hot shower and eating a slice of cold, leftover pizza from the fridge for breakfast. Reuben was the only person with a car around here and he had taken it to work today, so he felt that an Uber would be the better option at least. The rugged man scoops the money from on the table into his pocket, grabs the shopping list and heads outside into the freezing winter air.

***

The sky was a nice dark gray, not doing the sun any favors with providing any warmth or sunlight really. There was a cold, gentle breeze that would occasionally brush through his dark black bangs and hug his neck and chest, forcing him to pull up his short jacket collar as much as he could in order to shield himself from at least some of the coldness. This would be one of the moments that he missed his trench coat and fedora the most. Reuben had made him throw the old things out entirely and get a completely new wardrobe about a week after he had moved in. He couldn’t complain; he didn’t much care about having to wear new clothes, he just wanted to keep his fedora and trench coat if anything. The sound of car tires sloshing in a puddle of rainwater catches his attention as it appears to be his Uber driver. The driver waves at his direction, beckoning him to come over.

“So, where we headed?” The uber driver asked as Draco entered the back seat.

“Just to the local shopping center up ahead. I put the damn address in the app, why are you asking me? Do your damn job.” He muttered, eyeing the long list in his hand. He’s sure that the driver said something back to him, but he wasn’t listening; He was already in a bad mood and had to prepare himself for the long endeavor ahead of him. 

The closer they got to the shopping center, the more Draco started to get annoyed. There were so many cars in the street, driving slow for what Draco thought was both to look at all of the Christmas lights and decorations hanging up on all of the lamp posts and just from the amount of people in the area period. There were so many people walking on the sidewalks with their families, friends, partners and just some walking solo; He was kind of glad that he hadn’t driven here himself. It would be hell to find a parking spot anywhere, and just hell to get out of here. He grunts to himself, noticing a few people wearing face masks that were walking along the sidewalks as well. He had forgotten that this was the perfect weather and season for people to get sick. It was probably the perfect place to get sick too, seeing how there were just so many people brushing up against one another, touching all sorts of the same products and just overall breathing the same air in general. The driver pulled over in what seemed to be the middle of the shopping center, having a giant Christmas tree on display to his left with so many bright lights and Christmas ornaments dangling from all of the branches. That seemed to be the hot spot of the entire center, seeing how there seemed to be a ton of families crowded around the tree, whether they were taking pictures in front of it, sitting and chatting, or just hanging out around the area. He paid the uber driver and exited the vehicle, instantly starting to make his way towards the nearest supermarket so that he could get out of this mess as quickly as possible.

Draco was hit with a little bit of relief when he entered the store, feeling the heat instantly wash over him as he grabbed his handheld shopping basket. It was short lived though as he saw how long the checkout lines were, and how many people were still shopping down every isle in the store. He briefly sighed, shoving all of his aggravation aside. He knew that he wasn’t going to get anything done fast if he just kept moping about the situation.

It took about an hour of roaming down every isle a few times, bumping into and being bumped into a good handful of times and scanning over the shopping list at least 30 times before Draco was sure that he had gotten a good selection of items off of the list and made the executive decision to check out. It didn’t matter which line he chose; each line was so long that it was stretching into an actual isle, causing multiple people to have to cut through every once in a while, just to get to the other side of the store. He picks the closest line to him and decides to start waiting now rather than later. Why does everybody have to be out shopping right now anyway? He thought to himself, feeling his arms starting to grow tired from carrying the heavy basket for so long. 

It wasn’t long before other shoppers began to slowly file in behind him, causing him to feel slightly uneasy from how close they had to stand in order to be out of the way of other shoppers. What made matters worse was that the person behind him sounded like he was under the weather and Draco didn’t want to be anywhere near it. The thick sniffling that was heard from behind him made Draco internally groan. Damn it, he hated this so much. The regret was really starting to sink in now. At this moment he wished that he had went shopping right when Reuben had made the list. There’s a chesty cough from behind him that makes Draco turn his head slightly enough to see a young man sniffling helplessly into the palm of his hand. He rolls his eyes, feeling like he’s stuck in his current position. He knew that he always had an option to leave the line, but he had already waited 10 minutes and he didn’t want to be there any longer than he had to. The shuffling of feet in front of him caught his attention as he followed suit and scooted forward a couple of inches as the next customer was being serviced. There were only two customers in front of him now, and he was actually standing inside of the gap with the chip racks and soda coolers; He was nearing the light at the end of his tunnel. He knew that he could wait a couple more minutes and put up with this a little while longer. That was until…

“Hh… Ah’TSSCHiuh!!” 

The loud sneeze from behind makes the rugged man flinch, feeling a gust of air and cold spray instantly hit the back of his neck. He slowly turns around completely this time, bringing a hand up to wipe where he had felt the sickly spray come in contact as he was greeted by a young man with short brown hair, sniffling and wiping his nose onto his jacket sleeve.

“Oh, come on, man! Are you freggin serious?!” Draco yells, feeling disgusted and aggravated at the stranger. The outburst causes a handful of eyes to veer over to their direction. The younger man could only give a sheepish smile in return, feeling way beyond embarrassed and nervous of what the rugged man would do.

“I, uhh… I’m sorry, man! It’s just allergies! ‘Tis the season, right?” The young man said with a pleading smile and nervous laugh, trying his best to ease the rugged man over. Allergies my ass. His voice sounded thick and strained just from that apology alone, and Draco already knew what this meant. He looked like a walking germ cell; ain’t no way that’s some goddamn allergies. 

“Un-fucking-believable.” He muttered, looking at his hand in disgust. He was furious way beyond comprehension, but he didn’t want to cause a bigger scene than he had already. For this kids’ sake. The young man pulled out a pack of tissues and handed him one with a shaky hand. “Where the hell was this at before you fucking sneezed on me?!” His voice was loud with anger again as he snatched the tissue out of the man’s hand and wiped his own in disgust. The younger man quickly fumbled into the packet again to grab his own tissues as his eyelashes began to gently flutter shut. 

“Ah’TSSCHiih..! Ih‘TISShiEW!!” 

The cans and bottles in his handheld basket clanked against each other as the young man jerked forwards, diving into his hand full of tissues as his bangs bounced off of his clammy forehead with each itchy explosion. He would’ve crashed into the chip rack if not for the kind stranger behind him. Draco was relieved when the customer in front of him was beginning to load the belt with his items, allowing him to scoot up some again. It was short lived though, when the young man also scooted up behind him, sniffling and coughing so close in his ear it felt like he was practically shoulder to shoulder with him.

Finally, after a few more minutes of waiting, it was Draco’s turn to quickly checkout and instantly leave the store. The cold air greeted Draco once again, but he didn’t care this time. He was just happy to get out of that store and separate himself from that walking germ infestation. His arms were already starting to get tired even though he had two more stores to visit; He just wanted to go home honestly and take another hot shower to cleanse himself. It was about a ten-minute walk to get to the next store on his list. The fresh air was really nice, but it was awfully cold and starting to loosen up his sinuses. He had to sniffle every few seconds just to try and prevent his nose from leaking onto his numb upper lip.

His second shopping experience was pretty similar to the last store, minus the disgusting event, but the process went by faster than he had thought it would, and for that he was grateful. He peered down at the shopping list once again, having a wave of relief brush over him from seeing the small handful of items that he had left to get: Cranberry sauce, Asparagus, wait… Proscouittio? What the hell was a proscouittio? The rugged man sat down on the nearest bench, allowing his arms to rest by setting down all of his grocery bags onto the cold concrete as he pulled out his cellphone and dialed up the pediatrician.

“Hello? Draco?” The smooth and concerned voice of the gentleman was heard on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, it’s me. What the hell is a pro… scouittio?” The rugged man asked, voice still coated with irritation from having to be out shopping. He snuffled twice into a curled knuckle, giving the underside of his nose a quick wipe after feeling a faint burning at the back of his sinuses from the cold air. A light chuckle is heard on the other end from the gentleman.

“It’s prosciutto, not proscouittio.” Reuben corrected through a light snicker. Draco snarled, irritably bringing his phone closer to his mouth. 

“If you’re going to laugh and make fun of me, so help me God I swear I’ll hang up right fucking now and blow this money at the nearest bar in sight.” His voice was dry and grim, causing Reuben to stop his chuckling instantly. The rugged man snuffled thickly again, lifting up his arm to briefly rub his leaky nose along his jacket sleeve this time. 

“Okay, okay, calm down. There’s no reason to get all riled up.” Reuben’s voice had a naturally childish glee to it today that forced Draco to ease up a little, even if he didn’t want to. “It’s a thinly sliced ham. Very delicious. You can find it at Scardello deli a little way east of the Shopping Center. Oh, and Draco, make sure you’re reading all of the ingredients carefully. My parents are coming over and it has to be correct.” It was hard to pay attention to Reuben, seeing how his nose would not stop running no matter how many times he wiped at it. He had to keep sniffling to himself in order to barely keep the leakage at bay. He audibly sighs, as he felt his inner nostrils begin to tingle from the cold air just enough to make his chest bounce with a muted hitch.  “—And a block of Gruyère cheese from the deli too, please.” There was a moment of silence before Reuben realized that he had been talking to himself for the past few seconds. Another muted hitch escapes from Draco as his nose and lips began to quiver uncomfortably from the subtle itch. 

“Hehh…” He could feel his eyelids start to droop closed and his shoulders begin to rise from the third inhale that was audible this time and forced him to bring up a shaky hand to squeeze his nostrils shut with his thumb and forefinger. 

“Hello? Draco? Are you there—" The hitch only sounds like a soft grunt to Reuben as he is unable to hear clearly since Draco instantly pushed the device deep into his chest as he jerked forwards twice.

“Kxxnt… Hhuh-… Eh’GSXnt!” The first sneeze was weak and soft enough to go unnoticed, but it made the gentle tingle in his sinuses rattle, causing the second sneeze to sound a bit more agitated and loud enough to get picked up on the line.  

“Oh? Bless you, Draco. Are you alright?” Reuben asked, voice clearly coated with concern. The rugged man barely caught the sentence as he brought the phone back up to his ear, sniffling a handful of times into his curled knuckle.

“Yeah, ‘s just cold as hell out here. What were you talkin’ about?” Draco muttered, massaging the bridge of his nose with chilled fingertips.

“I said I need you to pick up a block of Gruyère cheese from Scardello’s Deli for me while you’re out. I must’ve forgotten to put it on the list.”

“Jeez, I need a drink.” Draco groaned as he massaged the bridge of his nose in irritation of the new item added to his list this time.

"Tell you what: I'll pay your bar tab for all of the hassle you're going through today, even though all of this could've been avoided had you listened to me." Reuben offered, mumbling the second half of his sentence in a matter-of-fact manner. Draco didn't care though. He was sold on the 'pay your bar tab' part.

"You've got yourself a deal then." 

“Good. Oh- And Draco, be safe out there. Don’t stay out in the cold for too long. Make sure you’re keeping wa--” 

“Tch.” Draco instantly ended the call after he irritably smacked his lips, ignoring the pediatrician’s advice. He didn’t need to hear something he already knew and was well aware of. Reuben wasn’t his parent. He knew how to take care of himself. The rugged man quickly stood back up in a huff and headed straight for the second to last store on his list. 

The next store that he needed to visit was a fresh produce store. Reuben was very picky about the ingredients that he needed. He always wanted it to be organic and to be from a certain brand, which was very annoying and very time consuming to find. If he had been lazy and just brought home a random brand of the product, he knew that he wouldn't hear the end of it from Reuben. Draco didn't know why the hell he cared so much, seeing how it all tasted the same to him anyway. What was the point? It was all food; one just costs more than the other.

The list was growing shorter though, and it only took him about half an hour to find the ingredients that he needed, and checking out was a breeze. The only place he needed to visit was Scardello's Deli. He was glad that this was his last stop though. He was growing rather hungry and decided to take this opportunity to grab him some lunch with the leftover grocery money, if he had any.

Upon approaching the Deli, his heart instantly sinks from how many people are inside of the deli, and just from seeing all the tables outside being filled as well. For a brief moment he had forgotten that it was almost Christmas and that the piles of people showing up to this Deli wouldn't be an exception. Scardello's was also a popular Italian deli, famous for their tasty, high quality ingredients; seeing this many people here on an average day wouldn't be surprising either. You'd be lucky if you didn't have to wait in a long line that extended outside of the store.

Draco quickly stepped in line, wanting to save his place before someone else had the chance to and began the waiting game for the last time. He was happy, seeing how after he was finished shopping here, he could finally go home and he also had free alcohol on his waiting list. It wasn't too bad though. He enjoyed the scent of freshly toasted bread and the savory scent of spices that were infused into the meats. This was the best experience he had today for waiting in a long line, even if he had handfuls of groceries in his hands.

After waiting for about 20 minutes in line, it was finally his turn to order and he was relieved. There was a big glass full of different types of meats on display in front of him, all looking very delicious, but he points to the specific type of prosciutto that Reuben had asked for, along with the block of Gruyère cheese. The cashier nods to the rugged man and repeats the order back to a couple of workers that were slicing meat in the back as he pressed a few buttons onto his register.

"Prosciutto di Parma. Good choice. Delicate to the tongue and sweet to the taste." The woman behind him stated as she approached the meat display and stood beside him. She held her black suitcase to her side as her long, white lab coat flapped behind her as she turned to study the rugged man standing in front of her. "Hmm... You don't look like the type to eat anything close to prosciutto... Who sent you?" She mused, chuckling to herself as she saw the confused, and now irritated glare on Draco's face. The rugged man furrowed a brow at the lady, feeling offended by her choice of words. ‘Look the type’? The hell does she mean by that? 

Her long, brown hair seemed to flow vibrantly behind her back, naturally complimenting her dark, purple orbs while she looked at the display case full of meat. She was actually very beautiful in Draco's eyes; he had to force himself to shift his gaze so that he didn’t end up staring for too long.

"I gotta $62.60 for a Prosciutto Di Parma an’ a Gruyère ." The cashier stated through a heavy Italian accent that instantly snagged Draco's attention and brought him back to reality. Over $50 for just some damn meat and cheese? What has the world come to, he thought to himself. 

"U-uh, yeah, and I wanna add your uhh... Italian Sub. That should be cheap enough at least." He muttered, dazed by both the woman still hovering over his shoulder and the price of the meat as he fumbled into his pockets for the leftover grocery money. 

"Ey, Giuseppe, put his order on my ticket." The woman stated as she gently grabbed his hand in order to prevent him from scrambling for the lose bills in his pockets any longer. “Grazie mille amico mio.” Draco gave the woman both a confused and disapproving look in return but she brushed it off as she placed her own order on top of his. 

“Nessun problema. Qualunque cosa per mia sorella!” The cashier replied with a smile as he typed away on the cash register. 

"The hell d’you think you’re doing, lady? I have the money to pay, you know." Draco muttered to the woman with shattered pride after she had placed her order. The cashier had told them to stand over to the side as they began preparing their food.

"Mm-hmm. Oh I'm sure you do." She said with a flirtatious grin. Draco couldn't tell if she was joking or if she was just being sarcastic. Or both. The childish tone of her voice reminded him of Lirin a bit, and made him unintentionally release an agitated sigh. "Nobody in their right mind walks into Scardello's with pocket change."

"Listen, lady, pocket change or not: money is money. Don’t give a rats ass about how it looks." Even though she was very beautiful, her beauty didn’t seem to filter Draco’s mouth nor his personality. He could care less, really. She could’ve been Beyonce in a two piece and he still would’ve said the same thing. 

"Hm. Touché." She muttered, giving the rugged man an approving nod before giving him a light punch in the shoulder. “Can you not call me lady though? Don’t you know how rude that sounds?” 

"Do I look like a fuckin’ mind-reader? I don’t know your name, lady.”

“The name's Sicily." Her response came out awkward sounding as she fought to keep herself from actually socking him in the shoulder again. “Gaash, do you kiss your mother with that potty mouth?” 

"Don’t you ever mention my mother ever again, you got that??" He mutters intensely, having the cashier interrupt their conversation with two bags of food in hand. 

She awkwardly thanked the cashier and gave him a tip before leaving the Deli. Draco followed her outside over to a wooden bench a few steps away from the Deli as she sat down and separated the food between both of them.

"Y’know, you’re being kinda rude to the person that just bought all this food for you. Here." She said as she gave him the bag with freshly purchased food inside. "That one's yours." Draco accepted the bag in silence as she taps the bench and invites him to join her and have a seat, in which he distantly accepts. The two sit in silence for a good few minutes before Sicily decides to cut through the tension. “I didn’t catch your name earlier...” She mumbled into her sandwich before taking a bite out of it. 

“... Draco, I guess...” He replied annoyed, only staring at his sandwich rather than eating it.

"Well, Mr. Draco... You’re an asshole, you know that?” She stated through a soft chuckle after hearing Draco release a loud, obviously aggravated grunt in response, “An attractive asshole, I might add. And honestly, you just have the manliest resting bitch face I’ve ever seen--” 

“What the hell are you getting at here?” 

 “You wanna know why I paid for your meal? I just wanted to make that sour face at least a liiiittle bit sweeter, you know?” The rugged man gave a perplexed look towards the woman sitting beside him. It felt weird hearing a woman speak so openly and without a filter just like him. 

“...Shut up...” Draco half-muttered after an exhausted sigh, before finally taking a bite out of his sandwich. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? Too bad. I’m not a sheep. I don’t follow orders.” She mused with a dorky accent, surprisingly earning an unexpected chuckle from the rugged man. He wasn’t expecting such a resilient response. He had to admit, she was a cute, quirky, and geeky person that made his heart flutter the more he talked with the woman. 

The two sat on the bench oddly enjoying each other's company and eating the delicious Italian lunch for about half an hour. Even though it was really cold outside, it didnt matter to them. It felt like Draco was genuinely having a great time with Sicily and he didn't want it to end. You might even say it was a first date at that. She seemed to be the only person that could get underneath his thick skin and actually make him chuckle, multiple times at that. Wait a minute, what was he thinking? It couldn’t have been a date. They were simply just having a decent lunch together. That was all. 

The half hour feels like seconds as the time flew by, though. They had already finished their lunch and Draco knew that he needed to get back and put the groceries away. Sicily seemed like she had her own plans to get back to as well, seeing how she was the one who had cut the event short. She did feel awful about ending their moment, so she paid for his Uber and waited with him until the Uber arrived to take him home.

***

Draco had an odd, empty feeling resting in his stomach as the Uber pulled up to Reuben's home. He was glad to be home and to have all the shopping finished; It felt like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders, but he still missed the company of Sicily. He thanks the driver for the ride after he collected all of his belongings and started for the front door, heaving all of the groceries along with him.

Draco raises a curious brow as he sees Reuben's car in the driveway. It was out of the ordinary to see Reuben's car here at this time, because he normally didn't come home until late at night. The rugged man adjusts the bags in his hands, dismissing the fact of the car being there only to be halted by a stray dog crossing his path in the driveway.

The dog looked like a black and brown German Shepard, but it had a deep cut along its left eye and it was faintly shivering from the cold winter air. Once Draco made eye contact with the canine, it slowly sat down and wagged its tail, patiently waiting. For what, Draco had no idea. He had seen this dog before. Multiple times at that. Reuben would always chase the dog away with his shoe whenever he saw him on the porch, but Draco never understood why. The rugged man cautiously approached the injured creature with a struggling hand to scratch behind its ears and the dog instantly dropped its mouth open and let its tongue hang out, clearly enjoying the attention and feeling of affection.

"You like that, dontcha boy?" As if in response to Draco, the dog barked and hopped up to place his paws onto the rugged man’s chest, trying to lick his face. Draco chuckled at the friendly creature and gave it a hug as he couldn't resist the poor, abandoned animal. He knew how being cold, lonely and abandoned felt and how much value was in the slightest amount of affection. He wasn’t fast enough to dodge as the canine licked his cheek a few times. "Okay, okay, down boy! Get down!" He had to force the dog down, seeing how the canine was overly excited from the rugged man and his attention. "What’s your name, anyway?" He muttered, trying to find a collar or dog tag on the animal, only to find nothing. The stray dog sat in front of the rugged man with excited eyes. It was hard for Draco to look back at the poor animal, but he knew that he couldn't take him into Reuben's house. The pediatrician had mentioned that he disliked dogs with a passion; for what reason, Draco had no clue. He gave the dog one last good rub and slipped past him in order to get to the front porch. The dog only sat in place, watching the rugged man as he stood on the porch, glaring back at the stray dog with guilt. “... You know what, fuck it.” He says as he grabs a slice of the prosciutto and tosses it to the stray dog. Immediately, the dog grabs the meat and runs into the grass, tearing the meat up and swallowing it savagely like he hadn’t eaten in a while. ‘You enjoy that, little buddy.” He whispers before sliding into the house. 

***

Draco released a light sigh as he was relieved to be back home and outside of the cold. Before he could enter the kitchen to set down the groceries, Reuben arose from the couch and greeted him with a cheerful grin.

"Welcome back, Draco. I assume everything went well?" The gentleman grabbed a few of the bags from the rugged man and led him into the kitchen.

"Yeah, but- wait, why are you home right now?" Draco asked, confusion coating his voice, as he sat the bags on the counter and began to take all of the items out. Reuben gives a slight chuckle as he takes the empty bag from Draco and throws it in the trash.

"I couldn't have you here while I wrapped up all the Christmas gifts, now could I?" He said, pointing at the elegant Christmas tree that now had multiple gifts resting underneath it. Draco rolled his eyes, aggravated at the fact that it would’ve been a whole lot easier if Reuben would’ve taken him to the store in the first place. “Oh, relax, would you? I thought I’d find you wearing an ear-to-ear grin from the clean slate you now have at the bar!"

"... Fine, just whatever... There better be a flask full of booze under there or you're catching fists." He falsely allowed the joke to slip off of his tongue, forgetting that he wasn't outside with Sicily anymore. Reuben doesn't mind though, and takes it as him finally getting into the Christmas spirit. "What's with the sweater?"

"Oh this old thing? You like it?” Humors Reuben as he stretches out the sweater in order to show off all the glowing Christmas lights and decorations on it. The rugged man only gives a disgusted look in disapproval at the ugly thing. "It even lights up, s-see?Ihktsh!" Reuben furrowed a confused brow as he barely caught the abrupt sneeze into a curled knuckle, feeling an overwhelming itch force entry into his sinuses and cut his shirt viewing short. 

A sharp, breathy inhale was the only thing Draco heard before he looked over to see Reuben twitching forward with each rapid sneeze, catching them with the top-side of his hand. "Hih-Ktsh! Hihktsh! Hh-Hihh! Hih'KSsh! HuhISsSCH'ue!!" The power of the tickling sensation was so strong and abrupt that his lungs didn’t know how to function properly with the irritant fighting in his sinuses.

He knew the feeling of this type of tickle. It wasn’t from sickness, nor from hay fever, and his house hadn’t been dusty enough to irritate him the past few days, so it could’ve only been one other thing.  A handful of muted gasps escape from the gentleman as he could feel his sensitive nose trembling in agony. 

“Hh-have youhh beenn playi’gw-wihh-hih! Wid dohh-gs??” The pediatrician struggled to ask between hitching breaths as he grabbed a few tissues from off of the counter with one hand and pinched his nostrils closed with his other hand. 

“Yeah, so what if I did?” Draco fired back, defensively as if the stray dog were under attack by the evil pediatrician. The gentleman only blew his nose in return, shaking his head from how intense the tickle was becoming. He instantly shuffled backwards after he blew into the handful of tissues for a second time, foolishly trying to expel the irritant as quickly as possible, only to rattle the irritant around and get hit with the full force of the tickling sensation. He coughed and fanned at the air as if doing so would remove the irritant that forced his nostrils to instantly tremble in aggravation. He could feel his body rejecting the irritant fiercely as his eyelids instantly slammed shut once again and his chest visibly bounced from the rapid, overwhelming breaths his body felt were necessary to take between each desperate sneeze he lazily caught in the handful of tissues. The sudden irritant caught both him and his body off guard as it physically tried to process what the devil Draco had brought into his presence. 

“D-Dr-a’KSh!Ihktsh!! Huh’kSsh!! I-Ihssh’uehh-hih! HihH’ksh’u!!… I-Ih-hhehh-HH…” Reuben barely squinted his eyes open to share a struggling glare with Draco, trying his hardest to speak but failed miserably, getting lost in his own sea of rapid hitches. The strength of the irritant forced the pediatrician to instantly jerk forwards into the damp handful of tissues with rapid, itchy explosions. 

“Hihktsh! Kshnt! IhKTSH-tsshIISsh! AlleH-Hh’Issh…! T-tIDSh’ue!! Hehh…D-dohhgs-s Hhgh-ihkssh’u! hHAH-ESsh’uekgshu! IH’KGshIEw!! Iksshu! Kgshu-IKGSshu!” The gentleman's body trembled with each sneeze as he struggled to take in a breath of air. He had foolishly tried to speak in-between the fit in vain as he had cut himself off with the rapid, tumbling sneezes. 

The rugged man gives Reuben a questioning glare as he released four more tired sneezes in-between desperate nose blows and irritated coughs into his handful of tissues. He didn't know that Reuben had a dog allergy; He also hadn't played with the canine for that long either, so he was confused as to why Reuben was having such a reaction.

"I'm a-allerhh-hih... Hahh...! Ihktsh!! Hheh'kssh-ISshu! 'EDSh'ue!! Ekgsh!! IsshShishh! IGSSch'uh! Hahh... Allergigk do dogs." He congestedly tried to explain again through disruptive hitches. 

Draco could see the pediatrician's pink tipped nose still twitching from the irritant lingering about as he dabbed away the allergic tears that started rolling down his cheeks with the side of his hand. He gave a sly smirk to himself, finding a hint of pleasure in seeing the arrogant pediatrician looking so vulnerable. It was nice to see Reuben knocked off of his high horse for a bit. 

"Well in that case, I want a dog." Draco humored to the pediatrician as he watched him still trying to catch his unsteady breath.

"Hah’KGshn! Ihgsh! Kgsch! H-how consihhderate o-of... Ih-Kgsshn! Hh-huh... youhh." His speech was still shaky and broken from the faint hitches riddled between his words. He blows his nose once again in an attempt to blow out the irritant that had entered his nostrils, but it does nothing but dampen the tissues further in his hand.  

 The gentleman irritably tells Draco to finish putting away the groceries and to throw his clothes into the washer as he left the room to take some allergy medicine, already beginning to feel miserable. He also couldn’t help but give a little chuckle to himself, finding the whole situation to be quite humorous. He only wondered how bad it would be if Reuben were to actually encounter a dog in person. 

The hot shower that Draco had been waiting for all day finally came and went, leaving him with a strong feeling of relief and relaxation. It felt like ten pounds had been lifted off of his shoulders, seeing how he still felt disgusting from that irritating encounter at the store. Reuben seemed to be feeling better as well, since he had stopped sneezing when he got out of the shower. He had to admit: The Christmas vibes were definitely present from both the nicely decorated Christmas tree and all of the decorations Reuben had been putting up all over the house. It was his first Christmas with the pediatrician, and it felt like it was going to be a great one at that.

December 24th

The loud clank of a pan serves as a rude awakening for the rugged man as he flinched awake from the couch. He tries to open his eyes but instantly slams them shut with a heavy wince from the blinding living room lights. A few light coughs escape from his grasp as he sluggishly wiped the sleep from his eyes. He felt groggy today. Groggier than usual. He releases a sluggish snuffle in an attempt to clear the wall of congestion that must’ve built up overnight. 

“Evening, Draco.” The lanky gentleman greeted from the kitchen, adding water to a pot before placing it on the stove top. “A pleasure to see you awake. I surely thought you were going to sleep the entire day away.” The rugged man remained silent as he blindly reached for his flask from off of the coffee table and instantly began consuming the alcoholic beverage, only to choke on the burn in his throat. That was strange. He thought that he was used to the burn of a little Whiskey. “How many times have I told you to stop drinking in the morning?” The rugged man winces, trying to clear his throat of the itch and now faint burn from the alcohol.

“Mornin’ to you too, asshole.” He muttered dismissively, hearing his own voice sound a little scratchier than usual. “HhUh-TDZSSH...!! EHh’GTSZSHh’UHH!! GOD--!! Damnit!!” He barely catches the first loud sneeze into the cup of his hand, almost spilling his flask from the force of the second loud sneeze that shakes his entire core. He yells a swear, feeling the most torturous burn scrape his raw throat from the loud morning sneezes. 

“Ah. Lovely.” The sarcastic tone from the gentleman earned a pained chuckle out of Draco as he struggled to choke down another swig from his flask. “I’m expecting company over soon. I’d recommend getting dressed and presentable.”

“Dressed and ‘presentable’? Screw off.” Reuben only sighed in return, not in the mood to put up with Draco’s shenanigans. A mild yawn escapes his lips as he glares at the clock resting on the stand. “3:30pm? Shit.” He mumbled as he rubbed a hand across his face in an attempt to wipe the sleep away as he got up to join the pediatrician in the kitchen. There were a lot of different foods scattered across all of the kitchen countertops with other food items cooking on the stove as well, and he was sure that he saw something baking in the oven. “Why the hell are you makin’ so much food?” Reuben abruptly stopped cutting the vegetables on the cutting board and sat his knife down in order to share a confused glare at Draco. 

“Draco, my family is coming over for the Holidays, remember?” His heart instantly sank after hearing those words. He had forgotten about Reuben’s family coming to visit. He dreaded this day as well because it was going to be the most awkward day of his life, which was probably the reason he had forgotten about it in the first place. “You do remember, don’t you?”

“HhUH-EGTSsh!! Y-yeah, sure. When are dhey cobin’ a-adywayhh? IH’TIZSSCH'ugh!! Shidt.” He asked between the forceful sneezes, dismissively trying to hide the fact that he truly had forgotten about his parents coming over. The gentleman raises a concerned brow at the second pair of harsh sneezes and gives the rugged man a quick gloss-over. 

“My blessings. Are you feeling well, Draco?” The pediatrician doesn’t hesitate to shove a cool palm underneath the man’s disheveled bangs and atop his clammy forehead out of his routine pediatric habit. “You look exhausted. Then again, when don’t you look exhausted?” Draco flinches and knocks away Reuben’s hand in return, before taking another swig from his flask. 

“’M fine. Your snooty parents must be talking about me already.” He humored, but not really. He didn’t want to offend the gentleman, but they both knew it was obvious. Reuben brushed off his comment, not disputing it either, seeing how Draco could’ve been right. His parents were a bit snobbish and he wouldn’t be surprised if they actually were talking about him right now.

“We agreed on 4pm, but knowing my family they’ll probably be knocking on the door any minute now. That is why I’d strongly advise getting dressed.” The rugged man leaned against the countertop in silence for a moment, trying to find at least someway to get out of this pickle he was forced into. 

“Why the hell do I gotta act all nice and prissy just to impress your damn parents? It ain’t like we gettin’ married.” He irritably muttered into his opened flask, dreading the evening he had to prepare for. The pediatrician took a moment to compose himself, trying not to let the stress of the day wash over him and cause him to say or do something he didn’t intend to. 

“Draco, can you please just wash up and get dressed? Don’t make this difficult. You can leave for the bar right after, I don’t care, just don’t embarrass me, please?” Draco gave the man a questioning look. He hadn’t heard the pediatrician ask him to do something in this pleading tone ever. It was... different. A bit concerning. 

“Whatever...” He grumbled, silently slipping out of the kitchen and leaving the pediatrician to continue cooking the feast in kitchen.

He had to admit that he was a little nervous about meeting Reuben’s family. If his family was as arrogant and uptight just like he was, it was going to be a long evening. Especially if Reuben was acting this way about his parents, something was definitely going to go down. He did seem like the type to have parents with high expectations and standards, which Draco knew that he wasn’t qualified for. Even though Reuben was how he was, he didn’t want to leave a bad impression on his family, but he couldn’t make any promises either. He knew that he was going to have to prepare himself to probably listen to his parent’s brag about how much money they make and how proud they are to have a Pediatrician as a son. He released a long sigh as he collected a some-what clean outfit, completely ignoring the pressed suit and tie that Reuben picked out for him, and headed into the bathroom. 

***

Draco took his time in the shower, not wanting to leave the bathroom at all and face a room of strangers. He already started to feel slightly worse from when he had woken up, seeing how his nose had begun to leak and itch more profoundly and his throat was really becoming agitated. He could already hear a few unfamiliar voices carrying into the restroom that made him uneasy. He was a complete stranger getting dumped into a family meet and greet. He knew that he would feel out of place and like he didn’t belong but there was no way to escape. All of his guests had already arrived and were chatting up a storm in the other room. He could make out Lirin’s high pitched voice, which gave him at least a little bit of comfort, but the other few voices made him release a tense sigh. This was going to be weird, but it was better to hurry up and get this over with now.

Draco slowly opened the bathroom door, deciding that it was time to leave the steamy bathroom so that the stuffy, warm air could stop making his nose leak so damn much. He carefully peered down the hallway, instantly being greeted by unfamiliar faces. There was a man with brown hair and glasses in a dark suit, looking like an older version of Reuben just with stubbles on his chin that was having a conversation with a mature woman, looking young for her age, with long, luscious brown hair; They looked like they had professions related in business or sales.

“Speak of the devil, that must be the man of the hour! My son here’s been tellin’ me all about ya!” The man in the suit said with open arms as Draco approached the group. He instantly pulled the rugged man in for a tight hug that took the breath away from him and caused him to cough over the man’s shoulder. “Don’t be shy! We’re all family here.” After a brief moment, he finally let go and gave Draco a good look over. “You look well! Seems like you’ve made yourself right at home.” The rugged man remained silent, unsure of how to respond to the sudden change of tone from his last sentence.

“Oh, don’t mind him, honey.” The woman said as she straightened up Draco’s shirt. “Donovan’s always been such a hard-ass to all of Reuben’s new friends, haven’t you, Donny?” She said, abruptly giving Donovan a death glare. “My name’s Colette.” Before he could even reply to the woman, Donovan stepped closer to Draco with judging eyes.

“I just don’t want my son to have any bad influences or distractions. You know how it is.” Draco took an uncomfortable step backwards, feeling the tense atmosphere weighing on his shoulders. He already felt like he was being pulled in both directions from both parents. The rugged man froze, feeling like the dark glare from Reuben’s father was judging his every move and action. He curses internally, feeling his nose start to run again, knowing that he can’t do anything about it at this moment.

“Dad I’ve told you countless times, he’s not a distraction. I’ve been doing just fine even with him here.” Reuben said through an irritated sigh as he stressfully massaged the bridge of his nose. Donovan instantly approaches Reuben with a stern voice, clearly not fond of the entire situation. It seemed like none of his words were getting through to him.

“Mmm. And just how long does this Draco plan on staying here?” The rugged man forcefully took this opportunity to turn around and grab a few tissues and wipe his nose, before the leakage had the chance to become visible. A hint of relief crosses over him as he quietly blew into the tissues. It was a soft enough blow to the point where it didn’t draw any attention away from the conversation.

“Ease up, darling. It’s Christmas. We came down here to enjoy the holiday with our son and niece. Besides, Draco looks like a responsible young man. If our son says he’s fine with him being here, leave it at that.”

“Yeah, Draco is SUCH a RESPONSIBLE young man.” Lirin childishly chimed in, hugging Reuben loosely from his side. “You should see how RESPONSIBLE he is when he’s drunk.” She smirked. Draco bit his tongue, trying his best to catch himself from saying an angry remark. Just hearing her sarcasm made him clench his teeth.

“Is that so…?” The voice of a clearly intrigued and curious woman fills the room as Sicily enters the house and locks the door behind her. “We’ll have to grab a drink later.” She flashes Draco a charming wink that makes him instantly look away.

"Sicily, darling! We thought you wouldn't be able to make it! What a pleasant surprise!" Colette exclaims in surprise as she embraces the woman. “Is that alcohol I smell on your breath?”

"Mom, relax. What are you, a police officer? It’s Christmas!” Sicily’s entrance cuts through the tense atmosphere as she gives Donovan, Reuben and Lirin a hug in greeting. “Anywho, don’t be shy now, Draco, was it?” She gave the rugged man a playful nudge in his side as she pulled him over onto the couch. Draco doesn't fight her as he allows himself to be forced down onto the couch, feeling both relieved that he got snatched away from the demonic man, but also, dare he say 'happy' to see Sicily for a second time. "Some parents, huh?" She says after observing Draco's facial expressions. "I know. Dad can be quite the handful. Just make sure mom doesn't get a hold of any wine, or that could be a real shit-show." She giggled to herself as she kicked off her boots. “Last year, mom had a liiiiittle too much of the holiday nog and almost broke all of my drinking glasses. Wanna know how? She was throwing them at pops for losing 10 grand in one of his stock investments.” Another, louder giggle erupts from Sicily, earning a darted glare from Donovan towards Draco. 

“Um, excuse me everyone. Dinner is almost ready, so if you all could please relocate to the dining room…” Reuben muttered, placing the dinner rolls on the table.”

  ***

“Honey, this looks delicious!” Colette exclaims, looking at all of the food Reuben had prepared. It did look delicious. How one man could make so many different dishes all by himself beat Draco. He did a really nice job with everything, but of course, he wasn’t going to tell Reuben that.

“Let’s dig in!!” Lirin exclaimed before instantly chowing down on her over-piled plate. She was the first to make her plate before anyone else cold even touch the food.

There were so many silverware and differently sized plates on the table and it made Draco squirm internally. It felt like he was being setup. He and Reuben both knew that he didn’t have any knowledge about dining etiquette, or any etiquette in general. Hell- he doesn’t even know the name of anything that’s on his plate! He’s sure that everything on the dining table was fancy and had a L or Lu in front of it. He wouldn’t be surprised if Reuben’s family called their glasses of water: L’agua. 

The rugged man watched as all of the family members delicately picked up their proper utensils and began to elegantly cut and eat the food on their plates. It was like he was in the realm of gods and goddesses and he was the only human in sight, attempting to mimic their custom. Even Lirin somehow managed to mask her gluttony. It was hard to even think about eating, seeing how he could barely survive the coldhearted looks that Donovan was darting his way. He could tell that he was subtly watching him, waiting to see which utensil he would pick up first and judge him if he grabbed at the wrong one.

“Aren’t you going to eat, Draco?” Reuben’s mom gave him a concerned look as she noticed he hadn’t touched his plate. “Your food will get cold soon. It really is good, I promise!” 

"Mom? Please." She whispered, feeling insulted. "Hey Draco, wanna blow this joint and go get some drinks? Lirin tells me you're a real drinker."

“I thought you’d never ask…” He replied with a nervous laugh, giving Reuben almost a puppy dog look of ‘please let me leave, this is my only escape.’ His parents tried to talk them out of it, but of course, Draco can’t be talked out of consuming alcohol.

***

 The music being played from the piano at the back of the bar rang blissfully in their ears as they entered the bar. It wasn’t too crowded, surprisingly. A soft aroma of alcohol filled the air as the two slowly approached the counter. There was a nice Christmas tree set up near the piano that lit up the room, with a male bartender wiping out a glass behind the counter.

“How can I help you?” The man said as he tossed the towel onto his shoulder and sat the glass down onto the rack.

“Let me get two shots of Bourbon for me and my friend here please.” Sicily ordered as she took a seat on the bar stool. The bartender nodded in understanding as he grabbed a bottle and started pouring the alcohol. Draco hesitantly sat down in the stool beside the woman, still tense and a bit uncomfortable with going into a bar with the pediatrician’s sister. “Relax, I just want to loosen up and have a couple of drinks with you.” She muttered, pulling out a cigarette from the paper carton and resting it on her rose red lips. She shared a short glance with Draco before it was awkwardly broken by the rugged man pretending to clear his throat.

 As the night went on, the fuzzier his head was beginning to feel. He had only had 5 shots and he could already feel himself starting to get a little more than tipsy. It was weird; Usually he could down more shots than this without feeling a buzz this early on. He could hardly think, let alone keep up with what Sicily was saying, not like what she was saying mattered, anyway. Draco was sure that she was one shot away from being completely plastered, seeing how her cheeks were flushed and her words were so slurred that it was a challenge to understand a word coming from her.

“It’s nice to let lose every once in a while, and take a break from all this classy shit.” She says, hoping to break the tension while allowing a long sigh to escape from her lips, causing a stream of gray smoke to bounce off of the counter-top and disperse into the air.

"You're tellin' me..." Draco muttered, grabbing the shot glass from the bartender and immediately scarfing it down like it were a dose a vicodine. "I could barely manage back there."

"Yeah..." Sicily distantly mutters, glaring down at the shot glass in her hand for a moment before irritably scarfing it down as well with haste.

“HhH’EGJISCH…!! ‘EGSSCHIUH!!” The rugged man dove forwards over the counter, holding his glass of whiskey away from him in vain so that hopefully it didn’t spill when he jerked forward with both of his itchy explosions. “O-oh shit! *hic*” He yelled with a breathy chuckle, finding humor from both Sicily’s laughter and the discovery of a small splash of alcohol that had spilled onto the counter from his glass. Sicily had toppled over onto the drunk man’s chest in laughter, struggling to breathe from how hard she was laughing. Draco’s own laughter abruptly stopped as the burning in his nostrils was still intense and flaring about.

“HhUH…!!” He sloppily leaned backwards with a deep inhale, barely able to stay upright from the weight of Sicily leaned so close up against him. He can feel his nostrils trembling in irritation from the burning as he slams his eyelids shut and dipped forwards again, slamming his glass onto the counter-top.

“Hhih…! Hhg’TIZSSCH’uhh! *hic* h-HUhgDzZSSCH’uhgg!!” His reflexes aren’t in tune from the alcoholic fuzziness as he is slow in turning his head away from the drunk woman. The first sneeze flies over Sicily’s head and lands on the counter-top, but he is able to partially turn his head over to the right and aim the second slurred mess of a sneeze towards the ground. Sicily shrieks in surprise from the two loud sneezes, feeling his chest tense up and shove her forwards, but she instantly smothered her chuckles into her hands as she pulled away from Draco and took a sip of alcohol from her shot glass. The rugged man brings up a sluggish, curled knuckle to lazily wipe underneath his faintly twitching nostrils, only to feel how moist and leaky they had been.

“Sh-shidt… Hheh…” He tries to cup his hand in order to lazily cover the disgusting mess on the lower half of his face, but before he can even ask for a tissue, his chest inflates quickly, forcing him to lean back once more with a disturbed grimace on his face. “

Sicily sloppily reaches into her purse, fumbling over herself as she takes out her handkerchief and shoves it into his cupped hand.

“Pineapple!” Sicily yelled abruptly, before he could even finish the oncoming sneeze.

“HhUHh’G-ghhn…?” The forceful hitch is instantly interrupted as his fuzzy and sluggish brain tried to wrap his mind around the randomness of the word pineapple. He sat there for a moment, confused, still waiting for the impending sneeze but the tingling in his sinuses had slightly died down to a quieter itch at the back of his nose.

“Ahh YEP, works everytimee.” She tiredly mused, downing her last shot of whiskey. Two hiccups escaped from her mouth once she downed her last shot and she giggled to herself before she flipped the shot glass upside down onto the counter.

“I use’to do thaht with Reuben when he’ws younger. That boy hadth’ most sensitive nose I’d ever seen. Once he start’d sneezin’ there was no goin’ back. ‘less you yell ‘pineapple!’ a’the right time. That’ll do it.” She muttered, fighting the effects of the alcohol that were trying to make her pass out on the counter-top.

"Hey... I wann' tell you somethin' an... An' you bettnot l-laugh..." The rugged man rubbed his face, feeling his mouth and tongue gradually becoming numb. It was definitely weird. He was feeling a lot of things tonight, both good and bad. He looked at Sicily with tired eyes, watching her back rise and sink with each breath she took as she rested on the counter with her head faced down in her arms. She grunted softly, as if signaling to Draco that she was still listening. "I... I r-really like you, you know tha?"

"Oh, that's nice. Me too." She muttered, giggling softly in her folded arms. At that moment, Draco's heart flew out of his chest as he struggled to sit upright.

"I'll have the ramen too. No eggs..." She weakly reached out to grab Draco's arm and shook it gently, "Please no eggs. I don't want eggs." He sighed and rolled his eyes, realizing that Sicily must've been talking in her sleep.

   December 25th 

“Hhg’tdsszhh! ‘Egsschh!!” The two tired sneezes were lazily stifled and released into the air as he shuffled around covered in his soft blanket in which he wore like an oversized jacket. He gently scrunches his nose around, feeling the tickle remaining at the same strength. He was lifelessly lying on the couch, too fatigued to do anything. Too exhausted to even sniff away the wetness leaking from his sore nostrils. What was the point? He had been sniffling and snuffling all night; every time he sneezed, the wetness quickly returned anyway. He was so congested to the point where it sounded like he was inhaling pudding every time he took a breath. The room was still dark, besides the random flashing lights of the elegant Christmas tree in the corner of the room. He audibly winced from the pressure pounding in his head with the pulsing of his veins. Drinking alcohol all day probably wasn't the best call, he had to admit. He felt so worn out and tired but he couldn't fall asleep; Not even the word Christmas could bring his spirits up. He snuffled lightly, too exhausted to even sniffle as hard as he needed to. His body tensed up reflexively as a shiver crept down his spine, forcing his body to quiver every once in a while. Blankets. N-need more blankets. A-and huhh-

“Draco…? Are you up?” The soft, sleepy and tender voice of Sicily cuts through his suffering as he can just barely see a thin figure slowly approaching from down the hall. She slowly made her way over to the couch and noticed the poor, sickly body lying there in pain. Her sleepy expression changes instantly to concerned when she observes the sick body closely. “Draco, you look horrible!” She exclaimed in an intense whisper, not trying to wake up the sleeping pediatrician. She held his clammy cheeks and frowned, giving them a smooth rub with her thumb to clear the sweat away. “You’re boiling! And-- Oh...”

"Ehh'hoOo! Hh-hih- HIH'gdzssh!" He can feel his cheeks start to blush a light pink as he barely realizes that he had sneezed on Sicily's neck and chest; He wanted to pull away but he was too exhausted and fever struck to do anything.

“HEH'Ssgk! ’M-m alrigh’. ‘ll jus’… Jus’ do the sleep. EEH'HooOgk! Hih'gSHUHhgk!Tiredhh…” He muttered, finding it complicated to compose the proper sentences and to communicate in general. At this point, he had partially given up stifling, forcing his sneezes to sound like a mixture of a cough and a mild yell. Sicily gave him a worried look, finding it odd to see a person so delusional and out if sorts. She was too worried to feel disgusted.

“Hey, Draco! Wake up! I ne...ed you t.. sta... Awa... Ke..!"

Draco wasn’t sure what dimension he had stumbled upon, but he couldn't hear or see Sicily anymore; He felt like he was asleep but at the same time, he wasn’t sure if he was. The blackness around him began to swirl into a spiral as if he were entering a portal, and before he could comprehend what was happening, he was back home in his old house. All the lights were off in the house but the single overhead kitchen light, which severed as a homing beacon to the rugged man. There was a tall, slender woman that stood hovering over the stove, humming an all too familiar tune.  

“Mm?” The woman slowly turned around to face the rugged man as if she were moving through molasses. The crimson locks resting beneath her shoulders dangled behind her back as she gave him a pained smile. “Just in time for dinner. Have a seat.” The bags underneath her eyes were complimented with a subtle dark circle, indicating that she had been overly exhausted and worn out for days on end. “Dinner’s almost ready.” 

“N-no, I...” Something isn’t right. Before he could do anything, the creaking of the front door catches his attention.

“M-mom...?” His words came out sluggish and muffled, as if he were moving in a time warp. With each hesitant step he took, the world around him blurred and swashed around, colors blending and smothering each other like dye on cake batter. The single word that he spoke seemed to echo for ages and bounce off of the walls and floors with a weird reverb like they were in a mutated cave. 

“You heard your mother, boy.” A dark tone from behind brings a boil to the blood flowing throughout Draco’s veins. He knew that voice all too well.  “Sit like a good dog.” 

“You...” He clenches his fists, feeling all of his uncontrollable anger rising to the surface.

“Draco. Draco, get up! Draco--!?”  He could barely hear the screams of his mother behind him as he was too busy dashing towards the figment of his father with a bawled fist, ready for a solid punch.

“I’LL KILL YOU!! YOU FUCKING MONSTER!!!” His own battle cries begin to drown out the loud crackling of the now roaring fire engulfing the walls and flooring. The dark, bulky body in front of him kept a cool smirk on his face, even in the given situation, which angered the rugged man and the fire even more.

“Draco, stop it!! Draco--!!!” The fear-filled screams from his mother began to cut in and out, almost mutating into the worried screams of the pediatrician.“Draco!!! Stop! Wake up! Blast--, he’s not responding!” Reuben yelled as he was holding on to Draco’s arms.

“We need to get him into some cold water, NOW! Start the bath!” Sicily nodded and darted for the bathroom, immediately starting to fill the tub with the coldest water she could. "Draco, you're hallucinating! WAKE UP, DAMN IT!" There was a slight shakiness to Reuben's voice as he struggled to pin the rugged man down. He had been in situations like this before and seen it plenty of times, but something about seeing Draco in such a broken state filled the pediatrician with more than just a little worry. 

“I-I’ll fucking--... Kill you... I swear it...”  The rugged man exhaustedly muttered, trying to punch the air but failing, since Reuben was holding him down in place.

"Reuben, the tubs halfway full!" Sicily yelled from the bathroom. The pediatrician signals for her to come and help him drag the sick corpse into the bathroom, in which she doesn't hesitate to do.

He was a tall, heavy and sickly thing. It took them a while to get him off of the couch with him fighting the two while weakly kicking and punching at the air as if doing so would hurt his invisible enemy. You could imagine how tough it was for them to force him into the bathroom, let alone the freezing bathtub.

"Help me get his shirt and jeans off..." Reuben muttered to his sister as he forced the rugged man to sit down on the toilet lid.

"W-whahd are yhou d-doig, pervert?!" Draco yelled, eyes sluggishly tracing the room and barely staying open. "G-Gedhh... HEH'Gdzsshiew!" The sneeze sprays the pediatrician’s pajama shirt as he temporarily flinches in disgust, but he doesn't let it bother him. He's in pure focus mode, as a trained pediatrician should be. "EHHgtsshnk!! Thad's whad you ged, b-bast.. bah.. heh-"

"Don't mind him, Sicily. He'll be fine." He says, noting Sicily watching with an expression on her face that he couldn’t read, but mainly to himself to give him some sort of relief while dealing with the given situation. He bites his lip, having mixed feelings about the situation. "L-Let's get him into the tub." The two nearly shove the rugged man into the cold pool of water, causing a lot of it to be spilled onto the bathroom floor. It only takes a second of being in the freezing water for him to snap out of it and realize where he was. Reuben sighs, feeling his heart nearly beating out of its chest. He had never seen Draco in such a state before in his life, and it worried him more than any patient he ever had. “Could you use this cup and pour some cold water over him?” He says, handing Sicily the small cup. “We still need to cool his body temperature down before he overheats. I need to go ge… some water. T-towels…” Before Sicily can even say anything, Reuben darted out of the room and closed the door behind him. She knew exactly what that meant.

“I need to ge… some water. T-towels…”

She heard him repeat it in her head. The tone in his voice when he said it. The strain and slight shake towards the ending. The pause in between and after. She gripped the cup tighter in slight anger. Two loud coughs from the rugged man jolt Sicily out of her own thoughts and redirect her attention. She can’t help but give the rugged man a good gloss over. He was visibly shivering in place, causing little ripples to bang against to tub walls. He looked like a dead corpse that still managed to breathe in her eyes. His red nose didn’t even attempt to hold back the sickly fluids that dripped down onto his chin and bare chest. He was too cold and out of it to care or do anything about it. She could see a tinge of black starting to linger underneath his eyes and his cheeks looked like pieces of cotton candy against his ghostly pale skin. She dipped the cup in the water on his side until it was submerged in the water and poured it over his head. He didn’t even flinch. He was probably too dazed to even feel the cold water, she thought to herself.

“… ‘ts c-cold m-mom-mm…” He barely mutters through chattering teeth, slowly closing his eyes and leaning back into the tub. Sicily immediately drops the cup and grabs the rugged man before his back can fully sink into the tub.

“Draco! Hey-hey, you have to sit up! Look at me!” She says, voice sounding strained from pushing the rugged man forward to sit upright. Draco doesn’t respond, allowing his body to fully go limp into Sicily’s arms. Sicily grunts, barely being able to keep Draco above the water from her current position. She hunches over the bathtub, trying to find the right position to comfortably hold Draco upright, but falls forward into the cold water on top of him. She releases a heavy exhale from the abrupt submersion in cold water and immediately pulls Draco’s upper half out of the water and into her chest as if he were hugging her. The rugged man takes in an immediate deep gasp and releases a handful of wet coughs over her shoulder, shivering like a madman. The woman gives a soft smile to herself, feeling the grown mans body tremble underneath her arms. She allows her fingers to rest on his clammy back, enjoying the feeling of his body up against hers so tight and closely. She closes her eyes, feeling warm from both Draco’s body and the happiness and comfort of Draco’s embrace. It felt as if time stood still for ages as the two leaned up against each other in the tub. Draco’s body had calmed down from the event, besides the constant sniffles, and they just sat there together. Holding each other. 

“S-Sicily…” Draco’s faint whisper barely cut through the thin silence.

“It’s me, Draco.” She whispered back softly, still resting her head atop of Draco’s shoulder and hugging him. The rugged man slowly pulled away and nuzzled their foreheads together. She kept her eyes closed, enjoying the company of the rugged man. She moaned softly, feeling the warmth from his forehead rub against hers. The warmth from his fever radiated off of his face against her skin, summoning a faint smirk to cross her lips. She can feel her heart race a little from the shift in the room as she feels a cold hand rake through the side of her hair. She flinches as the cold water from his hand drip down her left side. His hot breath comforts her as she smells a hint of Marlboro and leftover booze beam closer. She can feel his shaky breaths get stronger and closer as his warm lips come in contact with hers. He gives her a long peck on her soft lips, allowing her body language to convey to him if he should stop or proceed. She gasps internally, half knowing what was happening and half not. She doesn’t fight it though, and brings up a hand to trace a line down his chest as he pulls her closer and gives her two more deep kisses. He can’t help but moan as she gently pushes his head closer to hers. It was a very intimate moment, that’s for sure. If Draco had any questions, they had all been answered right now.

He slowly pulls away and nuzzles her forehead again, allowing them both to catch their breath. Sicily’s eyes were locked onto his as she seductively licked her lips, signaling that she was ready for more. He swallows down a cough as she leans up against his chest again, but this time, pushing him back and forcing him to lay his back against the curve of the tub wall. Draco is caught off guard by this action and flinches, uncertain of what she was going to do next. He can feel his heart begin to race as she starts to give him kisses on the top half of his chest.  Once she reaches his neck, she rests her body on his and starts to give him pecks all over his face. She reaches his nose and gives it two pecks, feeling her insides start to get all warm and excited.

Her adrenaline was rushing all over for many different reasons. She knew about Reuben. She knew about him being gay and she knew about his sneezing fetish. She knew he had the hots for Draco way before he himself probably did. She knew that something was off when he said he needed to get some water. He couldn’t handle Draco sneezing on him or him being practically naked in the bathtub. She herself didn’t have the fetish, but she was overly curious about what was so appealing about it. She couldn’t knock it until she tried it at least; she was already in the mood to get dirty with Draco. It did give her a rush knowing that she had the man Reuben had his eyes on. She was doing things to Draco that Reuben would probably never get to do. Draco sneezing on him was probably the closest thing he would ever get. 

“S-Sicily I—… Hh…” He whispered weakly, closing his eyes and slowly lifting a hand to his face. She immediately grabs his wrist and shoves it back down into the water and holds his other hand hostage under the water as well.

“I know.” She says, watching his red, glistening nose twitch above her. Another peck from Sicily occurs on top of his nose. She can feel his chest rise with another weak inhale. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind. Just sneeze.” Draco snuffles twice, giving Sicily a confused glare.

“W-waih wah?” He says, trying to lift his hand again only to have Sicily press more weight down against it and prevent him from doing so.

“You heard me.” She reaches her head up to Draco’s, using her nose to lightly rub against the moist rims of his nose to try to coax out the sneeze before he can say anything else.

“B-but I ne—” Sicily shushes him and pecks him on the lips before continuing to rub his nose in different patterns and speeds. He produces two loud snuffles, sounding both thick and wet, which creates a spark in Sicily’s eye. “W-wa- HhiH… Hih! W-wahd are y-you HiHh…. Hh-doig??” He manages to say before tilting his head back against his will, involuntarily trying to escape from the induced tickling sensation on his already sensitive nose. She reaches up to follow him, giving a subtle giggle, enjoying the chase.

“Stop fighting me and just do it already.” She says as she can feel his chest practically jumping with each stuttered inhale. Cold, clear sick coats the tip of her nose as she feels his nostrils twitching up against it. She knew that it was building up in there to the point where his nose was crying and leaking sick tears for a release.

“HhuH! …. Hh-hUh! HhIH!” She tightens the grip on his wrists in anticipation, feeling slightly aroused by it all. It was like waiting for the inevitable. A devilish smile creases her lips as she watches the rugged man’s face grimace in torment. He snuffles thickly a few times in vain, as the sick just leaked immediately back down anyway; he just accepted the fate of not being able to use his hands. He felt awkward not being able to have the freedom to cover his mouth. He wanted to turn away from her but he knew that wasn’t what she wanted. He curses mentally, feeling a little embarrassed but more irritated with the pestering itch in his sinuses.

“HIH… HHIH…! HHG’TIZGSSSSCHK’ughh!” She slams her eyes shut and flinches hard, unprepared for the sudden cold spray of sickly fluids. She wasn’t sure what position she was supposed to be in for the actual sneeze. She was too intrigued by the satisfaction of him suffering with his nose to think that far ahead. But this was something… new. “H-HUhgDzZSSSGCCH’kguhgg!! ‘HEEHGSSZCHH’uhh!!!” The second batch of mist sprays her face and she can feel glops of sick make contact with her face and chest that start to slowly drip down. At first she’s disgusted, but she is oddly satisfied in a way. The third sneeze hits her back-to-back with a new batch of wetness, and by this point, she feels like she’s being rewarded for her good deeds. A subtle moan is released, more to herself as she realizes that she liked it more than she thought she would. “Eh… HehhgKSSZCHHh’kt!!” She squirms, feeling a rush when his body jerks underneath her from the harsh coughs that follow; the rattling coughs remind him of how much he feels like a pile of crap all over again. Sick was all over both of them and he knew it. It was hard not to hide all of it, especially since he didn’t have his hands to cover or wipe away at it, and his nose was practically drooling over her nose tickling his. There was bound to be a lost of discharge. He can feel his cheeks start to flush a dark red from embarrassment as he tries so hard to sniff everything away. All he wanted to do was get out of the bath and hide on the couch. “S-sorry.” He mutters between sniffles and nose twitches, feeling slightly guilty as he tried to clean himself up without his hands.

“Thanks.” She says, kissing his now sick coated lips and giving him a smile. “Now I know.” Draco pauses for a moment, surprised at what he was hearing. Was he still hallucinating from the fever?

“Huh..??” He says, overly congested, trying to clean himself up with the bath water now that his hands are free.

“Now I know that you are the one… And this secret stays between us.” She said with a final kiss before getting out of the tub. The whole time she dried herself and left the room, Draco was still sitting there dumbfounded, overly confused about everything. He didn’t know how to feel. He was happy that he pretty much made out with his newfound crush, but… What the hell just happened??? Was any of this real..? N-no… It couldn’t have been…

“… I need to go the fuck to sleep…” He muttered before sinking into the tub again

***

“Reuben, I don’t care! I wanna open gifts now!” A loud, high-pitched voice rings the ears of Draco and causes him to stir awake against his will. “We’ve waited long enough! It’ll be New Years if we wait for him to get up!”

The rugged man sluggishly cracked open an eyelid to be blinded by the Christmas lights from the tree and the fire in the fireplace. Someone must’ve moved me back onto the couch… What the fuck… Immediately he feels his nose start to run like a faucet as he tries to sit up on the couch. He grimaces when his body aches and finds it a challenge to even sit upright. He sniffles a few times, trying to stop the leakage but it does nothing but make the sick dance around in his nostrils before returning back to the same spot it was in before so he just gives up and lets it stay there, too fatigued to attempt to blow his nose or wipe it. His heart skips a beat as he notices Sicily lying on the floor right beside the couch.

“Look who’s awake!” The pediatrician says, relieved to see him up and at ‘em. “Did we wake you?” Draco only sniffles in return, feeling grumpy and too sick to respond. He just wanted it to end. And by it, he means everything. This damn cold, flu, whatever the hell that kid gave him, Christmas, this day, pretty much EVERYTHING. Just leave him alone. “You should go back to bed and get some rest if you still aren’t feeling that well, Draco.”

“I wahs tryig do before your loud ass woge be ubp!” He yelled congestedly, coughing into the blanket right after. He winces, feeling his entire body feeling sore; inside and out. It felt like his whole body would break if he coughed or sneezed again.

“Okay, okay! Everybody calm down.” Reuben says, looking more towards Lirin as she raised a fist to him. “Don’t get too riled up, Draco. Your body is still recovering.” The rugged man leans back into the couch feeling defeated and overtaken by pain. He just wanted someone to put him out of his misery.

“I… I deed sobe paid bedicinde.” He mumbles through wet sniffles, sounding clearly beat down and worn.

“I’ll get them.” Sicily says, stretching from the floor before Reuben can leave the room. He freezes for a second but then nods in acceptance for her to get the meds. She returns a moment later, with the bottle of NyQuil and pours him a cup.

“I deed like… dhree o’ dhose…” He mutters through a strained voice as he shots the cap of medicine down.

“You ‘deed’ to blow your nose.” She jokingly mocks, pouring him a second cap full of NyQuil and handing him some tissues. He snuffles dismissively and jokingly steals the cap, chugging it down and returning it back to her with a mumbled ‘fuck you’ under his breath. She giggles, feeling slightly relieved that the old Draco was starting to come back a little. Reuben distantly watches the two from the distance, feeling a little excluded and odd. He knew something was going on here, but he wasn’t sure.

The gurgling sound in the tissues grabs the attention of the entire room as Draco gives one good blow into the handful of tissues. One blow and that’s it. Fuck it. He was too tired and that single blow took the wind and force away from him. He weakly coughed a few times into the tissues and threw them onto the floor, immediately sinking back into the couch.

“Let’s do the fucking gifts so you assholes can get out and leave me the hell alone.” He mutters, voice barely audible.

***

The gift exchange was fun for the most part. Everyone was having a great time except for Draco of course. Everyone seemed happy with their gifts. Reuben bought him a brand-new motorcycle so that he didn’t have to Uber or wait for him to drive him around. Lirin bought him a book on tips for being sober. And Sicily went out and got him a new flask with a bottle of Jack Daniels and a pack of Marlboros. One thing he could say was that this was the first Christmas that he had in a long while that actually felt homie. And it was the first Christmas that he had been too sick to participate in the festivities for.

“Alright Draco. Thanks for being apart of our Christmas and opening the gifts. We’ll get out and let you rest.” Reuben says, watching the NyQuil already start to take its’ toll.

Reuben and Lirin walk out of the room, leaving Sicily and Draco together again. She was sitting beside the rugged man on the right side of the couch. They sat together in a peaceful silence, besides Draco sniffling every couple of seconds. He didn’t mind her company. If anything, he was glad that she decided to stay.

“Alright, you’re tired. Time to go back to sleep.” Sicily says as she tries to get comfortable on the couch. “Come here.” She gently tugs on his arm for him to come closer to her on the couch. He exhaustedly obliges and nearly collapses into her chest, shifting around to get comfortable in her embrace. She blushes a little, feeling his head resting on her chest. Best Christmas gift ever, she thought to herself. She closed her eyes and raked her fingers through his damp hair, massaging his scalp as she tried to fall asleep wit the sick rugged man. She cracks an eye open as she feels the rugged man shift uncomfortably in her embrace and freeze before lightly jerking forwards twice, releasing two weak sneezes aimed at the floor.

“Hhuh’kgDTzsshn! Eh’Dsschkn!” The two weak sneezes take whatever energy he had left and he doesn’t even sniffle, feeling his entire body becoming too tired to do anything at the moment. He can only release a shaky exhale and collapse into Sicily’s embrace. She smiles, feeling overwhelmingly happy at the situation.

“Merry Christmas to me…” She happily mutters to herself before joining Draco in a long, well deserved sleep. 

END. 

Hopefully it was worth the wait LOL XD A lot is going on in this fic but I like’d working on it even though I had some intense writers blocks lol xD Like I said, I’m working on like 5 different fics all at the same time hahaha so hopefully I can post those because I been writing a lot, just not all on the same fic ahaha.

[panharmonium]

next round of in-progress naruto thoughts under the cut!  i haven’t done one of these in a while - been doing a lot of individual posts instead, but seeing as we just finished a season and started a long filler arc, it feels like a good time to collect my thoughts.

[spoiler policy disclaimer first, as always: I am watching naruto for the first time.  i am trying to avoid spoilers, so please don’t interact with this (tags included, because the notifications now show them to me automatically) with any spoilery commentary, including even general things like “oh i love this show but it gets less good after X point” or “X season is better than Y season” or any general assessments of quality/likability/etc re: future seasons.  Thank you! <3 ]

okay uh where to begin.  UM.  so much is happening that this is not going to be a comprehensive commentary, just certain things that stuck out in my head.

two annoyances first, and then the rest is my usual lovefest:

- if i have to listen to one more speech about how amazing naruto is i’m gonna start fast-forwarding through them.  i’m sorry; i love him so much, but in the last couple of episodes there have been at least 10 separate speeches saying the exact same thing, and i need a little break from the naruto praise-fest.  i already know he’s wonderful!  you do not have make every single character tell me so.  spend that time on resolving the other characters’ arcs on their own terms, the way they deserve - naruto is very important to all of them, but he also isn’t the only reason they're here.

- i love how the show made such a big deal once again out of sakura refusing to let sasuke and naruto go on without her, saying “i’ve finally caught up to them; they’re not going to leave me behind this time” and then they literally just...leave her behind lmao.  the show has tried to resolve her arc in exactly this way multiple times and every time it goes right back to its old nonsense.  i don’t know why i keep believing it when the show says she’s just as integral a part of the team as sasuke and naruto.  i am charlie brown with the football, and i keep landing flat on my back.  

and now better things:

- i loved gaara’s relationship with shukaku coming back into play!  when he swooped in to pull shukaku out of obito like “come here, shukaku” because naruto had no connection with the one-tails...that was awesome.  and also him asking for shukaku’s help like “i’m not ordering you.  i’m asking you.  if you don’t agree, that’s fine” - i LOVED seeing that.

- that whole episode with the three-way deadlock...you ever see a particular shot and think “foreshadowing, foreshadowing, foreshadowing”???

- perpetually distressed over how entertained i am by orochimaru’s dynamic with taka and then needing to remind myself of how EVIL orochimaru is lmao.  like.  i’ve always loved his character; there’s never a dull moment when he’s around, but then in this arc they’re almost like...making you imagine what it would’ve been like if he had been on their side the whole time and you’re kind of...enjoying all these moments he has with the kids but then you have to be like NO!  THESE KIDS ARE HIS EXPERIMENTS!  HE’S THE ONE WHO STOLE BABY YAMATO AND RAISED HIM IN A TEST TUBE!!!  THIS MAN IS EVIL!!!!!!!  and yet...

- i was losing it laughing at sasuke’s snake calling him “lord sasuke.”  i’m sorry, you all know i love sasuke more than anything but this kid’s ego does NOT need further swelling.  my sister and i were both like “yeah ok kakashi’s gonna put a stop to that immediately” lmao - like there are some levels on which sasuke needs love and support but there are also some levels on which he needs an adult to bop him with an empty paper towel roll and tell him NO.

- i love that sai is still the smartest one in the room, telling sakura that they don’t really know sasuke’s true intentions and can’t trust him.  and i really liked the callback to his initial arc way back in season 2, where he looks at sakura and says to himself “your words may not be lies, but i can already tell that your smile is fake.”  

- i know it’s all going to go to shit eventually but in the meantime i love seeing team 7 sniping at each other.....“don’t drag us down, naruto”...... “remember, he can only be affected by sage jutsu!”/“i know that, i’m not YOU”...........just like the Good Old Days XD

- also how much did i laugh when minato was like “you and the others go and deal with madara” and naruto was like “OH RIGHT!  I FORGOT ABOUT HIM!!!”  ‘forgot’ about the antagonist.  in the middle of the war they’re fighting against him.  that’s the naruto we know and love. XD

- LOVED when shikamaru needed ino to connect him to the entire army and he asked “can you do it” and she went “that doesn’t matter; i’m GONNA do it!!!!”  i am crying for both of them forever but i love seeing them continue to be so amazing

- i talked about this on another post, but i have loved having minato around for these episodes.  i finally feel like i’m actually *fond* of him, whereas before, the best i could say was that he was an impressive shinobi and i didn’t DISlike him.  but it is so much fun to see what a massive awkward weirdo he is, with his ridiculous jutsu names and asking naruto “sooooooo......is this your girlfriend?”  the man is a DORK.  he’s a certified dork.

and yet at the same time - in a fight, he still possesses that sort of cold, “our family is shinobi” ruthlessness, which sounds like a bad thing, but isn’t how i mean it.  it’s just a “we do what we must” vibe, and i respect it, especially in this situation, when we really need someone like that on our side.  eg, when he realizes that it’s obito up on top of the ten-tails, he teleports there and cuts his throat INSTANTLY.  and it’s clear in the aftermath that it kills him to do it, but he does do it, without a second’s hesitation, because it has to be done.  

that sort of decisive action is what i would have expected from him, given our past introductions to his character, but i appreciate that this arc is also showing us his human side, and the depth of compassion he feels, and the weight of his guilt, and the fact that he actually cares about what happened to the kids who were his responsibility and whom the shinobi world swallowed whole.

- all of those images of what life could have been like if obito had just come home...........that was EVIL.  why would they make me see that.  the knowledge that he and kakashi could have gone through all of their suffering together, that neither of them would have had to ever be alone, that they could have had in each other what kakashi’s kids are going to have someday...that was too much.  i already think about that daily.  i did not need to see it animated for me onscreen. 

- i appreciate the fact that naruto’s attempt to talk obito over to the other side didn’t work.  i just think on a fundamental level that this isn’t really something naruto should be able to do.  naruto’s presence and what he represents make a difference, obviously, but i just think that reaching obito is kakashi’s job.  which is essentially what minato says when he sends naruto away, so i appreciated that. 

i’m sure there are lots of things i’m missing (so much is happening!) but just some yelling about the end:

- sooooo naruto is almost dead.  or temporarily dead.  my assumption is that gaara is taking him to kurama’s other half inside minato?  but that’s just a guess; i dunno.  (i’d be happy if that’s where they were headed, because it would at least mean that naruto and sakura and kakashi are back in the same place together, so i’d appreciate that.)

- sasuke is also almost dead.  hopefully taka can go pick him up...even though he’s been so terrible to them...he owes them so many apologies

- WHAT HAPPENED TO BEE?????  *distraught face* obviously we all know naruto and sasuke are going to be fine eventually, but bee must’ve been disconnected from eight-o too.........  ;_______;

- i’m just gonna come out and say it.  i think yamato is here.  you all can laugh at me later if i’m wrong, but i think yamato is here trapped inside swirly and i cANNOT handle that

- madara said something very brief about sasuke’s eyes that i’m curious about......are we finally going to get more information about the different sharingan patterns?

- the new ending credits start off as the usual naruto-sasuke show but then kakashi and sakura come bursting in and honestly the emotions i felt......THAT IS WHAT I WANT.  I WANT ALL FOUR OF THEM TO MATTER AND TO BE THERE TOGETHER.

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

[ ep 6 liveblog/commentary under the cut (finally) ... so many screenshots inside. I’m not sorry? ]

this is fairly stream of consciousness as I was watching in between bouts of tutoring so it’s less Massive Thinky Thoughts than usual, but w/e, it’s a commentary!

They said no fly zone and I was immediately concerned. If Sam goes out there with the wings, I hope he doesn’t get shot at. On the flip side, Bucky just “Sergeant Barnes” his way in, huh?

I appreciate them using the holo-face tech again so it’s not a throwaway, but also having those makes everything so messy. In the meantime though look at this pause face XD

WHEN CAP SLINGS HIS MIGHTY SHIIIIEEELD

“I thought Captain America was on the moon.” Who spread this rumor widely enough for members of the GRC to believe it?? lmao

“A baguette and a few French fries.” Sam’s sass will never stop being top tier. Also I love that both Caps get to fight Batroc. Yay parallels!

“You don’t think I’ve ever fought for something bigger than myself? That’s all I’ve ever tried to do, and I’ve failed twice.” Ow. Bucky, you’ve kept Steve safe all throughout WWII, you’ve been part of the fight with Thanos and helped the Avengers win, you’ve fought your own mind for the greater good, healed the damage and the trigger words in order not to become a weapon against people, stop thinking of your failures ;_; (I say as my Nat muse shrugs sympathetically in my head)

Bucky showing off the same compassion as Sam with Karli? <chef’s kiss> Bucky on a motorcycle again? <double chef’s kiss>

Sharon I see you with that trick. We stan a smart woman!! Not gonna lie I did think it was a tracker at first though. Ruthless. Way more ruthless than Sam would approve of...

I’m not gonna lie, seeing the difference in fighting style between Steve and Sam with the shield is just so fun? Sam gets to work far more in three dimensions, he uses the repulsors and the wings and the shield all in tandem. It’s like seeing a cross between Steve and Tony in some ways, but with the added acrobatics. It’s cool!

Seeing Karli’s supporters starting to question her and her extremism is rewarding. I’ve known multiple people who have come from backgrounds that were pretty close to brainwashing that have slowly broken out of it over time, either due to seeing how twisted things were towards the top or increased exposure to people who weren’t part of their (forcibly) exclusive group. It’s a hell of a wake up call. And that extremism continues for Karli, setting the truck on fire. How much are her friends following out of genuine commitment vs out of obligation vs out of fear?

Walker’s “you don’t think Lemar’s life mattered” is the realest anger from him that I’ve been able to identify yet. At least if he’s fighting them, Bucky’s getting a chance to save the hostages.

“Boy you just earned this ass-whoopin’!” XD XD XD

And there we have the contrast: John continuing to fight single-mindedly instead of giving a damn about the people trapped and burning to death. He doesn’t always think those lives matter. The parallels with Karli build. And of course she’s getting her ass kicked to some extent because Walker is a trained fighter, she’s far more someone working on instinct. But good on him for trying at the last minute to save them anyway.

We knew Sam was gonna save the day but damn it feels good to see it!! I love the concept of him with his human strength augmented only by the tech he wears (like Tony!) wearing the wings of an angel, saving people with superhuman compassion and a brain that lights up like the fourth of July. That’s our new Cap, folks, the one that we needed.

Bucky’s smile in response I’m !!

BUCKY’S MURDERFACE WHEN KARLI THROWS THE ROD !!!

Sam knocking out five people with the shield, you work them angles, babe !!!!!!!

Is it Sharon backstory time? It sure fuckin’ is!! Holy shit she’s got so much more invested in this fight than a pardon, and her face here is just so genuinely hurt?? Ow. But also cool the Power Broker theory was true. Honestly props to her for rising to the top and finding a way to keep tabs on the whole world while legit exiled. That said, she’s got to have done some incredibly problematic shit to get there so we’ll see what shakes down from that.

LOOK AT HER FACE

Aw fuck of course she’s been shot. Gonna skin someone if she doesn’t make it, but given how they had her moving after, she should be fine. People in the MCU have come back from far worse lol

THE CRUX OF THE SHOW RIGHT HERE. SAM WILSON EVERYONE.

If this murderball wasn’t the antagonist, Nat would be cheering her on, look at how fierce!

But also Sam ;_;

Okay, feels aside, check out the way that when the shield gets punched, Sam instinctively pre-empts being shoved back by deploying his wings, digging them into the ground to reinforce his stance. You can see here that he’s got it tripod style behind him, knees bent to absorb the shock and keep him balanced but flexible while he takes the blow. Whoever planned and choreographed this knew their shit. This here martial artist approves!

“Stay down!” “No.”

“Lincoln, really?” “Great man, great quote.” “Not when you say it.” Pfffft.

Karli’s desperation for Sam to fight back is such a poignant note here despite the hoarse yelling, because it speaks to her need for validation, the need to believe that she’s fighting for the right reason, that the people opposing her deserve to be hurt. But if he doesn’t fight despite everything, then he’s simply not allowing her that vindication, and she has no choice but to question whether it’s right to fight him. Innocents being harmed? She can do that in an abstract way. She’s not punching or shooting them, they just happen to be there and in the way of the explosion. The GRC members? Not innocent because they’re directly taking away her ability to further her cause via passed resolutions and inadequately distributed resources. Sam is neither of those. He’s clearly fighting alongside those who oppose her, but refuses to actually fight her despite his ability to. He’s someone she can’t resolve with her ideas of the world and it’s devastating her. Even as she’s got her gun trained on him, she looks lost and has to fight to regain the nerve to shoot.

Thank you Sharon. It’s possible he could have pulled something out of the hat last minute (he did have his wings after all), and the look Sam gives her is slightly disbelieving, but I think a lot of the grief here is the fact that she’s so young and her cause has roots in a genuine problem that’s not being resolved and is impacting literally half the population of the world. Sharon looks so relieved, and it must hurt to see her protege die especially at her own hand, but she’s never been one to pull her punches (or her bullets).

How long do you think this death is going to haunt him? (Can anyone say “his whole life”?) (Also La Pieta vibes)

AN ACTUAL ANGEL oh, he lands so gently, looks so solemn, puts her on a stretcher to try to save her T_T

Sorry I totally broke the mood and laughed at “or is it Captain Falcon” because I’ve played too much SSBBM early in my life oops. Just imagine Sam as this guy, yelling “FALCON PUNCH” dsfkjgsdjfh

Okay, I’m so glad that Sam is broaching this topic in public (despite the fact that you know they’d try to move it to a private discussion immediately in real life), and that he’s trying to make people understand the struggle and make more compassionate decisions. What I found highly interesting in the cinematography here is that:

1) They pan back to Bucky occasionally to show him thoughtfully listening, not interrupting, and maybe it’s important that this be an example to follow for people who are non-minorities when a member of a minority is talking about their struggle, and

2) when he says “Every time I pick this up, I know millions of people are going to hate me for it.” they cut immediately to a close up of John Walker…

And he looks down, guilty. Maybe that’s a sign of self-recognition. Maybe there’s hope for a change. (I wouldn’t hold my breath for it though.)

Oh hell the look on Isaiah’s face. Did I cry? A little.

Bucky’s starting to smile just the teeniest bit but you know who’s also smiling? TORRES. HI BABY BOY!

Empathy, empathy, empathy. The power of the people, the power of the government, the power imbalances that make the world the way it is. Sam. Wilson. GOD I love him. Thank you, thank you.

Bucky trying to play it cool. You dumb butt XD Look at their dumb faces aaa

Ahh, Sharon. Told you she’d be fine. Just needs to see an illicit doc or something. She probably has twenty of them lined up.

I SEE YOU THEME MUSIC

Oh D: That’s… no… why death, no.

Of course Zemo is smiling, he probably arranged for the Super Soldier deaths. OR VALENTINA hello I forgot about you. Oh, US Agent outfit, proper. He’s acting like a little child with it, go figure ^^; Still haven’t figured out Valentina’s motives, I’m curious.

Aw hi Yori. Bucky being honest and making proper amends is gonna make me tear up again. But also: “by the Winter Soldier… and that was me.” WAS. WAS. THIS IS PROGRESS. “I didn’t have a choice.” P R O G R E S S. EVERY NAME CROSSED OUT. P R O G R E S S !

Sam & Isaiah. I’m so proud of them. “You’re special.” DAMN RIGHT!! Gosh I love them I love them I love them.

“I might fail. Shit, I might die. But we built this country. Bled for it. I’m not gonna let anybody tell me I can’t fight for it. Not after what everybody before me went through. Including you.”

CATCH ME TEARING UP AGAIN. They got him a memorial!

Ahhh a party! Sam smiling! Bucky roughhousing with the kids! HAPPINESS ;A;

“Welcome home Agent Carter.” Hmm this doesn’t seem like the best… ah, yep. Saw that one coming XD Look at that boss face though yow!! 

Also I’m hoping we get to see her at Peak Manipulative doing Cool Things in an Ends Justify The Means fashion because how dare that be reserved for men in superhero shows/movies? We love to see a woman about to deliver a smackdown.

closing thoughts: Lots of plot movement and action in this round, and finally an episode that was centered properly around Sam and the impact he has on the world. We saw an acknowledgement of real world struggles, steps taken to avert extremists but also steps taken to fix the core issue at the end. We see Sam saying you don’t want Karli 2.0 which reinforces the power of violent protest in otherwise peaceful movements and the fact that it’s listened to. We see a reclaiming of dignity, of owning one’s own power, of facing one’s fears and healing. We have an appropriate cliffhanger. Nothing in this episode was wildly surprising (though I though it was interesting that they went with moving the people out of the building, presumably to allow Sam greater flexibility to soar around and look cool, and also to buy them time so they didn’t get gunned down lol). On the other hand, there was nothing that I found needed to be surprising. It was a solid episode and I enjoyed it, and the resolution especially with Isaiah made me really happy. I’m eager to see what’s in store for Sharon, what Val and John are planning, and all the other shenanigans to come.

[dc41896]

Homecoming

Hey guys! So I know my next upload was supposed to be the second part to Decisions (which is still coming!), but I wanted to upload this really quick since it was recently homecoming for one of the colleges in my hometown and I had the idea to make it an imagine. Also, this imagine doesn’t have Florian as the main, and instead has someone new that I would like to start writing for! I’m still gonna write for Florian though so don’t worry lol. Ok that’s pretty much it and hope you guys like it!

Pairing: Lewis Tan x Black Reader

Warnings: None 

Word Count: 4,965 (sorry if it’s long)

Walking through the airport, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, as the excitement building in your body could no longer be contained. Although you weren’t outside yet, just knowing you were back in your hometown made you giddy, along with the fact that you would soon see all of your family and friends.

It was homecoming for your college alma mater, which meant that the whole city would be celebrating since it was pretty much the biggest annual event. You were also excited for your boyfriend, Lewis, to finally meet all the important people in your life. In all honesty, you were a bit nervous too since you wanted everyone to love him as much as you did, but you weren’t concerned about it though.

From the occasional phone, and Facetime, call you guys would have with your parents, they seemed to like him and get along well with each other. Given being in the same room for an extended amount of time is very different from talking on the phone with someone, you still felt it in your heart that you didn’t have to worry.

Driving to the hotel, you nod along to Freaky Friday playing on the radio and wiggle in your seat dancing, which made Lewis softly laugh. “What? Are you judging my dancing?,” you ask with a laugh, taking turns looking at him and the road. “No I just think it’s cute how excited you are,” he answers leaning over to kiss you on the cheek.

“I can’t help it! It’s homecoming and there’s so much coming up and plus you being here for it and meeting everyone. I promise you’re gonna have so much fun while you’re here and if you don’t I owe you a free trip of your choice,” you offer parking in front of the hotel. “Well anywhere within reason.”

“I’ll take your offer, but as long as I’m with you I know I’ll have fun,” he replies leaning over to kiss you once more before getting out of the car to go check in.

__________

“AUNTIE Y/N IS FINALLY HERE!! OHH AND SHE BROUGHT HER MAN WITH HER!!,” your 10-year-old niece, Kimia, yells from the front porch as she runs to hug you halfway. “Tell the whole state then Mia!,” you laugh as you bend down to hug her back. “Where is everyone else? Inside?”

“Yep, they said it was too hot out here so they stayed inside,” she answers before looking up at Lewis with hands on her hips, “And you must be Mr. Lewis Tan.”

“That I am, and who might I have the pleasure of speaking to?,” he asks with a smile squatting down to be somewhat at eye level with her.

“I’m Kimia, Auntie Y/N’s favorite and adorable niece. Pleasure to make your acquaintance” she answers holding her hand out for him to shake and causing both you and Lewis to look at her in a mix of shock and amazement. “The pleasure is all mine ma’am,” Lewis softly laughs shaking her hand.

“Now that we’ve formally met, what are your intentions with my aunt?,” Kimia asks, arms now across her chest. “Ok! Why don’t we go inside yeah? Also remind me to have a talk with your dad,” you laugh leading both of them inside the house before any other questions could be asked.

“AYEE!!! There they are!!,” your brother AJ shouts from the kitchen, walking up to hug you then Lewis. “How was your flight?”

“It was good, and you’ve got Mia taking over for you and dad’s interrogations now?,” you laugh playfully hitting his arm. “Hey it’s not my fault she’s protective of her aunt, which is how it’s supposed to be,” he answers winking at Kimia and making her quietly giggle.

“About time yall got here! I thought I was gonna have to send a search party for you,” your mom, Eleanor, greets walking in from the living room with your dad, Ace, by her side. Smiling wider than ever, you lightly jog to their spot to hug both your parents. It amazed you how the warmth of their hug still had the power to comfort you just as it did when you were a little girl.

“Lewis you come here too, there’s plenty of hugs to go around!,” Eleanor smiles holding out one of her arms so he can join the group hug, to which he happily obliges. The rest of the evening was spent talking with your family and filling them in on everything happening with you in LA, as well as eating some of your favorite foods your mom decided to make due to your arrival.

Of course both your brother and dad had to question Lewis a bit more to “get a feel for him” as they said before leading him outside to sit on the porch, leaving you in the living room with your mom and niece. “So what do you think of Lewis mom?,” you nervously ask breaking the momentary silence in the room. “I already told you when you asked me that a while back on the phone, he’s nice,” she smiles as she flips through the channels to see what’s on.

“I know, but that was you guys meeting him over the phone. Now that you’ve met him in person does your first impression still stand?,” you ask sitting up straight and fidgeting with your fingers. Placing the remote down Eleanor sits up, now seated slightly on the edge of her recliner to place her hand on top of yours.

“Sweetie as long as you’re happy with him, and want to be with him, that’s what’s important and it really doesn’t matter what me or your dad think. Since you asked though, I see that he’s caring, respectful, and treats you well which, makes me happy and is all I want out of a boyfriend for you,” she finishes with a gentle squeeze of your hand causing you to smile back at her.

Although your mom was right that all that mattered was how you felt about him, you still wanted to make sure the family dynamics would be ok in the event that he would be there in the future. Not that you and Lewis planned on getting married anytime soon, but still it was something important for you to know. “Yea I like him too auntie and he’s cute,” your niece adds from her pillow seat on the floor.

“Thanks Mia, and let me find out you’re trying to steal my man,” you laugh as you softly throw a small pillow at her, making her stick her tongue out at you with a laugh. After talking for a while more, you and Lewis decided it was time to head back to the hotel since you guys would have a busy day tomorrow.

First would be brunch with two of your best friends from college, next pre-gaming at another friend’s house before going to the football game that evening, and finally finishing at your parents house for the annual cookout, which would include your other family members as well.

Arriving back at the hotel, you showered and completed your nighttime routine before climbing into the warm king sized bed and curling up in the sheets, while Lewis took his turn in the bathroom. Watching an episode of the Golden Girls, you hear your phone chime showing texts from Sydney, one of your best friends you were meeting tomorrow.

Sydney: Please tell me you made it ok, or could still make it at all? If you say you had to cancel so help me I’ll call your boss and cuss him out myself!

Y/N: Lol girl relax! Me and Lewis are here. We’re still on for brunch tomorrow right? And everything after?

Sydney: Ok good and of course! I can’t wait to meet Mr. Tan ;) lol and neither can Jay

Y/N: Lol that wink scares me, lets not discuss anything embarrassing about me tomorrow please xD. And let Jay know that my dad and AJ already gave him all possible degrees so no further need for interrogating lol

Sydney: Oh boy, poor baby probably felt like he was in a courtroom with all those questions lmao, but ok girl I gotta go put thing 1 and 2 to bed. See you tomorrow!!

Y/N: Don’t call my godbabies that lol and ok see you tomorrow!

“Golden Girls again?,” Lewis jokes as he finishes drying his hair and slides into bed next to you. “Don’t act like you don’t like them, I’ve caught you watching them without me multiple times,” you laugh snuggling up to him and lying your head on his chest as you breathe in his spring water scented body wash.

“AJ told me how when you guys were little, you would steal the remote from him and turn the channel so you could watch this show, which is why he can’t stand it,” he laughs lightly dragging his fingertips up and down your arm. “Ok but did he tell you how he ripped the heads off not one, but TWO of my Barbie dolls?,” you ask sitting up to see him throw his head back in laughter.

“Yea your dad said that after. We talked a lot about our childhoods while we were outside as well as other things,” he winks, which definitely tells you that things you’d rather be left unmentioned were discussed. “I can only imagine how that talk went then,” you laugh lying your head back down on his chest. “Also sorry about the interrogation that I’m sure also happened.”

“You don’t have to apologize, they’re just being protective, which I totally understand. If we have a daughter I already know I’ll be the same with her,” he softly chuckles. “Did he just say what I think he said?!,” you think to yourself sitting up once again to meet his brown eyes, a slightly confused expression on your face.

You guys had discussed how you wanted to have families one day, but hadn’t yet discussed if either one of you saw the other in that family as well. It’s not that you didn’t want him in it, because Lord knows you felt that he could be the one at the 6-month mark of your relationship, but you didn’t know if he felt the same. And you dared not bring it up in fear of jinxing anything, so you just left it alone.

“Wait, if we have a daughter?,” you ask to make sure you heard him correctly, his eyes closing as he pinched the bridge of his nose at the realization of what he just said.

“Ugh I didn’t mean to say that out loud. Not that I don’t mean it though!,” he quickly corrects propping himself up on his elbows noticing how your expression slightly fell at his confession. “I didn’t want to say it because I didn’t want to scare you off thinking I was trying to rush things, which I’m not. I mean if it happens it happens, but it’s not like I want kids now and I’m sure you feel the same.”

“No yeah, I still want to wait a good while before having kids,” you softly laugh, “It just caught me off guard since we’ve never really talked about us having kids together or even if we wanted each other in our futures.”

“Yea which is another reason why I thought bringing it up would make you feel uncomfortable,” he adds with a sigh now sitting fully upright against the headboard. “Well now that it’s all out, yes I’m in love with you Y/N and definitely want you in my future. And like I said if we have a daughter, I will be just as protective of her as your family is of you,” he smiles as a blush rises to his cheeks.

“I’m in love with you too Lewis and have definitely seen you in my future for a while now,” you respond taking his hand in yours and bringing it to your lips to kiss. “And I’m glad to hear that you’d be protective over our daughter and I will be equally protective of her.”

“Just kiss me already,” you both heard Blanche seductively say from the TV to one of her many suitors making both you and Lewis laugh from the timing. “Alright Blanche you don’t have to tell me twice,” he responds bringing his hand up to cradle the side of your head as he leans in until his lips met yours. “Oh so you know the character names now?,” you ask with a smirk interrupting your intimate moment.

“Hush you,” he softly laughs kissing you again as he gently pulls you down with him.

__________

With J. Cole’s Middle Child playing in the background, you finished putting on the last of your makeup, choosing to go for a lighter look than the usual full face you would wear to brunch or a party considering how hot it would be today. Looking over yourself in the mirror, you sway a bit to the song and rap along, happy with your final look.

“Syd I’d just like to say for the record that if we’re late, it’s not my fault it’s missy’s over here with her performance,” Lewis jokes walking in recording you with his phone. Turning towards him, you continue rapping and dancing along, causing him to laugh.

“Alright I’m done. Also let’s not act like you weren’t the one who made us late to the Wu Assassins premiere because ‘Babe this outfit doesn’t look right, I need help’,” you mock making him playfully roll his eyes before pulling you into him to kiss the top of your head. “You’re never gonna let me live that down are you?,” he asks as you grab your purse ready to leave.

“Nope, probably not,” you giggle as you reach up to quickly peck his lips causing him to chuckle. After making sure you both had everything you needed, you left to join Sydney and Jay for brunch, which you already knew would be wild.

Knowing the restaurant would be busy from how many people would be in town to celebrate, Jay made the reservation ahead of time to ensure that you all would have a table saved. And from seeing how full the place was when you guys arrived, you made sure to thank past Jay for looking after you guys.

Meeting up with your friends was always a good time filled with laughs and stories, both old and new. Upon seeing each other, hugs and squeals from your excitement seemed to be the only thing that you guys could do, leading to apologies to those around who were now looking at you guys with amused, and some annoyed, expressions.

After introductions were done, it was if your friends had known Lewis for longer than a couple minutes from how the conversation immediately took off and everyone seemed to be enjoying their time. Of course they had to include their favorite stories of you, which were the ones you’d rather him not know about.

A couple of hours later, you all had finished your meals and it was time to pregame at your other friend, Troy’s, house. While you guys were all still in college, he started throwing pregame parties in his apartment, but after too many complaints, he had to stop for some time. Luckily now he was in his own place and had neighbors who were at a good enough distance that they wouldn’t be disrupted by all the noise, so the tradition could continue.

Walking into the two-story residence, you all were met with music blasting and chatter everywhere from people being scattered about. Trying to find Troy to let him know you guys had made it, you and Lewis followed close behind your friends. In typical Troy fashion, he was in the game room playing beer pong and surrounded by a few guys you didn’t know.

“Let me guess, you’re losing?,” Sydney announced causing him to turn around and immediately engulf her in one of his famous bear hugs. “Now you know I don’t lose in beer pong. If you’d like to be reminded though, you’re more than welcome to play next,” he replied with a smirk as he turned and threw the small, white ball and made it into the last cup.

“Alright set em up then! I got my DD so I’m good,” she smiled referring to her husband, Terrance, who had met up with you guys at the party so you guys could ride to the game together. “Remember we got a game to go to in the sun and heat, you better not get sick,” Jay quipped as he hugged Troy next.

“Yes I remember dad,” Sydney replied with a small laugh causing Jay to hold up his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Yoo! Isn’t that the dude from Deadpool?!,” Troy asked completely overlooking you and dapping your boyfriend. “What are you doing here man?”

“He’s here with me, also hey I’m doing great thanks for asking,” you answer crossing your arms and feigning as if your mad. “My bad Y/N I got distracted,” he laughs giving you a hug.

“I’m just playing, after all this time I’m used to it happening,” you reply turning to wink at Lewis, making him softly chuckle in response. “How’ve you been though? Also this house is amazing!”

“Thank you and I’ve been good! Just trying to make it out here,” he answers leaning back on the table. “So you guys just in town for the game or you staying longer?”

“We’re here for a week actually, so we’re here for a while,” you answer. “Ok good! You already know we gotta hang while you’re here. That is if you guys are free and it won’t cause too much of an uproar,” he responds looking from you to Lewis.

“Nah we can hang, I don’t really get stopped here like I would in LA so I’m taking full advantage of it,” Lewis chuckles. “Oh I guess it’d be messed up if we asked for you to teach us some moves then,” one of the guys you didn’t know confessed rubbing the back of his neck shyly.

“Nah it’s cool! Babe I’ll be out back ok,” he cheerily responded kissing your cheek before leading the group of men to the backyard. Seeing them through the window, it immediately brought a smile to your face and you felt your heart burst. They reminded you of a group of kids each trying out moves and closely watching Lewis to make sure they were performing them correctly.

While they were outside, you and your friends continued your conversations inside. Sydney and Troy played a total of three rounds of beer pong since Sydney insisted on playing until she won a round, going against the words of you, Jay, and Terrance, which were to stop after Troy won the first two rounds. “You guys seem to forget that I have a high tolerance,” is all she said before focusing back on the game and her goal of defeating Troy.

Soon after, it was time to go find Lewis so you guys could leave for the game and make sure you could get to your seats without too much of a problem. Looking outside, you didn’t see him or any of the guys he was with earlier so you figured he was somewhere inside. Walking down the hall you could hear his laughs along with the other men coming from the kitchen.

The small smile on your face slightly fell as you see an unknown woman trying to slyly squeeze next to Lewis with two drinks in her hand. “Uh uh! She better not be trying to do what I think she is,” Sydney announced beside you, starting to walk over to her before you held your hand out to stop her.

“I got this Syd, you guys go ahead and get in the car,” you instructed before swaying over to the group of men as if you were innocently dancing to Crew Love beginning to play overhead, until you were in front of Lewis. Not caring if you bumped into her, or about the nasty look she was probably giving you, you swayed your hips even more making him smile and bend down so you could hear him.

“What are you doing?” he whispered with a small laugh, wrapping his arms around you. “I’m coming to get you so we can leave,” you smile back before pecking his lips. Trying to make it as if she was just minding her business, you could hear the woman humming along to the song as she sipped her drink.

“You must be really thirsty to have 2 drinks,” you inquire with a fake smile as you crossed in front of her, to which she quickly smiled back before leaving to another area in the house. “Petty Labelle strikes again!,” you heard Sydney yell from the door while clapping before being gently pulled to the car by Terrance shaking his head.

__________

“So you’re telling me between four people, none of yall have Advil, Aleve, Tylenol, or nothing?!,” Sydney fusses with her shades on as she rubs her temples. Although she was only a bit tipsy, being in the direct sun paired with her lack of water caused her to have a headache towards the beginning of the game. Plus the walk to the stadium in the sun didn’t help.

Squeezing between the hundreds of people there, you eventually made your way to your seats, but after a quarter of feeling like sardines in a can, you guys decided to go to the top corner of the stadium since it wasn’t as packed. “Nope sorry Syd. I have water though, maybe that will make it go away,” you suggest handing her your half empty bottle.

“I tried to get you to buy some Gatorade, but someone said no because ‘they don’t have the flavor I like’,” Terrance teased causing Sydney to smack his arm. “If you really loved me you would go try to find the flavor I like,” she responded folding her arms like an angry toddler about to throw a fit.

“I’m not walking around this whole stadium and giving myself a heat stroke just for a Gatorade! What I can do is walk downstairs and get you some water to help with your head though,” he answered finishing in a baby like voice before kissing her forehead and walking down the steps. “I can’t stand him sometimes,” she responds shaking her head once he was far enough away and making Jay, Lewis, and yourself burst out laughing.

“Whatever you know he was telling the truth, which is why you couldn’t even say that without laughing,” Jay retorts nudging her knee with his and making her laugh more. “Yea yea whatever, enough about me though. Look at the cute couple enjoying their first college game!,” she awes before snapping a candid picture of you and Lewis seeing that both of you were too wrapped up in the game and each other to notice.

Sat between your legs on the bleacher below you, he held your hands slightly out in front of him as you both danced in your seats to LUV by Tory Lanez echoing through the stadium. “So you really thought I was gonna take a drink from 2 drinks?,” he asks draping your arms over his shoulders and chest as you laid your head on top of his.

“No I knew you wouldn’t, but I still had to show her that you were taken,” you answer leaning down to kiss his cheek before returning back to your original position. “You are so petty,” Lewis responds with a laugh slightly shaking his head.

“Not always, but you still love me though,” you smile booping his nose. “Ew get a room!,” Terrance teased returning with Sydney’s water. Reaching out at the same time, you and Lewis smacked his leg as he passed by causing him to let out a dramatic yelp as he sat down.

“Stop being dramatic that didn’t hurt,” you retorted laughing along with everyone else.

The score was now tied with only one minute left in the game and possession being held by the opposing team, the Jaguars. Currently on the Vipers’, the home team, 20-yard line, things weren’t looking the best in terms of the odds of your team winning. Under pressure from the defense, the quarterback launched the ball in the air in hopes it would be caught, which it was but not by the intended person.

With the crowd standing and cheering as loud as they could, a defensive player from the Vipers ran down the field after completing a swift interception, which would surely be the topic of conversation for the next week. Reaching the endzone, the Vipers were now up by six, and the successful extra point attempt now made it seven leaving only 20 seconds left.

Not having ample time left to try to take the lead, the Jags let the clock run out and thus declaring the Vipers the winners. Yelling your school’s chant with your friends, as well as the rest of the audience; excitement beaming on all your faces, you notice Lewis recording the crowd around him and then stop on you guys. As if all thinking the same thing, you all flash your team’s emblem, whether pointing to or holding up your shirts by the shoulders, making him lightly chuckle before turning the phone on himself to cheer himself.

Walking back to the car tucked in his side, the energy from the win still radiated between those surrounding, as people continued chanting and cheering to their respective vehicles. Smiling seeing all those around, a sense of pride for your hometown filled your heart, as well as a bit of sadness at the fact that you couldn’t come visit more often.

That made you appreciate the times with your friends, family, and even among strangers like in this current moment more, and you would be sure to hold the memories in a special place in your heart.

__________

Back in your hotel room, you collapsed on the bed with a tired but satisfied sigh. You and Lewis had finally returned from your parents’ house, where you guys ate and he met more of your family members. Although he had already been interrogated by your dad and brother, that didn’t stop your aunts and uncles from asking questions of their own.

Again though, he answered any and every question that was asked, understanding how your family was just looking out for you. From his answers, they knew he was the real thing and seemed to welcome him into the family, talking with him as if he had been coming around for years.

Your younger cousins even had him playing video games upstairs, which you had to pry him away from when it was time to leave since he was so into it. Kicking off his shoes, Lewis gently plopped down on top of you, making you let out a small cough. “Babe I’ve been in the sun all day and probably stink,” you groan before laughing.

“I don’t care, I want to cuddle,” he responds like a little kid before kissing your neck. “You were right, I’m having a lot of fun here with all of your family and friends. Also I need your cousins to teach me their ways, they’re crazy good at Call of Duty!”

“They just have a lot of practice time in from playing all the time,” you softly laugh playing with his hand resting next to your head. “And I’m glad you’re having fun! This has honestly been the best homecoming I’ve had and I want to thank you for coming with me.”

“You’re welcome babe but you don’t have to thank me, you know I’ve wanted to meet your family in person for a while now. Plus wherever you go I go, well if I can,” he smiles lifting his head to kiss your lips. “Aw you’re so sweet love, and speaking of going, I need you to get up so I can get ready for bed.”

“Wow you know what? I’m really tired and think I’ll go to bed now,” Lewis replies with a yawn, acting as if he didn’t hear what you just said. “Ha ha very funny, now can you please get up I want to shower,” you state trying to wiggle your way out. Soon you hear dramatic snores, making you roll your eyes with a giggle.

“Ok then guess I’ll just pee in the bed then,” you announce earning a groan from Lewis as he rolls over to let you up. “True wouldn’t want you to have another hotdog festival incident,” he smirks sitting up on his elbows as you let out a gasp crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“1. I was 7 and 2. Who told you?!,” you ask only to be met with more snores as he fell back on the bed to pretend that he was asleep again. “You know what? That’s ok because I know about the 6thgrade dance.”

“Hold up how do you know about that?! Have you been talking to my brother?,” he asks quickly sitting up in shock. “What? I can’t hear you over the water running sorry,” you respond quickly running into the bathroom and cutting on the shower before Lewis could catch you.

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[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i��m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)