#livvy who was not broken by thule like her siblings would have been and did break from

[helenofblackthorns]

I have been spiralling thinking about the Blackthorns for hours because of this omg (this is very rambly they just got to me 😔)

I was thinking about the shifting roles within the Blackthorns, how Julian takes over roles that would have otherwise been Helen's and Mark's but it's set on the foundation that they come back. Mark's imprisoned and Helen's separated but they both hold the connotation that its not forever; the prisioner will one day be freed and the separated returned.

Helen used to cut everyone's hair, and Julian has to do it now but it's not forever, Helen will be back one day. like there's this expectation that it's temporary, that it will all right itself again, which is probably why Ty freaks out so much when Mark says he's not replacing Julian at the end of lm. because the whole thing was started in the idea that it would, something much harder in practice. but at the same time the Blackthorns do kinda accept Mark and Helen back into the family dynamic quickly and... almost seemlessly. like most of the problems surrounding Helen taking over stem more from Julian not being there, and when he does come back things are fine, then Helen upsetting the family dynamic. (I feel like Julian kinda loses sight of this shifting back too, but that it more from feeling like his old role doesn't exist anymore & being too changed from everything)

which is kinda interesting considering how co-dependent the Blackthorns become, especially after cohf, you would think that they would be extremely resistant to that kind of change? and it's championed by Ty, who hates even minor changes. you would think that they would have more "closed ranks" when it comes to outsiders but instead the Blackthorns get really attached to people really quickly. even before everything Helen's getting sorta engaged after like two weeks, and Mark's doing.... whatever he's doing at any point, and Ty sleeping outside Kit's door, and Dru's knows Jaime for like two days etc. reminds me of Livvy's letter in sobh where she says that "[Ty] is afraid to need people but that is only because he needs them so much" because it's kinda true for them all? like who are any of them without others? the biggest exception being Livvy herself

(this is just one big chain of thought I had after reading your addition I recognise the chaos of this lmao anyway)

Livvy doesn't really need people in the same way I think a lot of her siblings do, not to that same extreme. like while she's a romantic, she likes weddings & was really interested in the stories surrounding Will and Jem she's also very unromantic too. like how she very logically thought out her first kiss & was explaining her rationale to Kit in the same book Julian's telling Emma how he used to imagine that they were married & that his siblings were their kids - two very different thought processes. which makes her wanting to be like Julian, the Julian Julian never really wanted to be, much more interesting imo. because Livvy isn't actually like Julian at all, it would never cost her what it costed him.

Mark calling Julian "my dreamer" & Julian calling Dru "the dreamer" :(

[chocolatecarstairs]

i just finished qoaad and i have a lot to say!

buckle up kids, this is gonna be a long and bumpy ride!

finished reading as of 4:37 am 12/6/2018

1. I AM SO PISSED AT JAIME! like beyond pissed. i get it dru technically lied to you. (a lie by omission. and not even a huge one at that.) but there was literally no need for you to essentially abandon her. especially after all that “she’s like a little sister to me” and “no matter what age she is we’re friends” bullshit. did you even mean any of that? or were you just saying it to get her brother off your back? honestly, she did so much for you. she hid you in london, brought cristina to you even though cristina could’ve told her brothers and gotten her in trouble, she risked quite a bit of her own personal safety and that of her family to sneak into the gard prison and bust not just you but also your brother and his friends out. but at the end of the day you can’t even be bothered to come and visit her every once in a while? drop in, say hi, ask her about how her life is going? obviously, she should’ve told you how old she was, but she seriously made up for it time and time again after you found out. you also seemed to want to be near her in idris when the battle was going on. you said goodbye to her before you went to fight, you protected her when she had to go out to the field, and you were going to go with her to save jules and emma before you saw that diego was hurt. what the hell changed in between that and the wedding? you’re being a fake friend and i don’t like it.

2. I AM SO PISSED AT KIT! admittedly less pissed than i am at jaime. but pissed nonetheless. i get that ty didn’t respond to you telling him you loved him. he probably didn’t realize you meant it the way you did. for god’s sake, he’s autistic, kit! and obviously, he should never have been trying to raise livvy from the dead, but you should have told him as much! you should have gone to jules or mark or helen or literally anyone instead of letting it go as far as it did. i mean did you really think trying to stop him in the middle of the spell was going to work? honestly, kit! not to mention you leaving! tessa and jem are amazing people. they’re going to love you and nurture you and you’ll get to be around their baby! i would be happy for you. IF YOU’D GONE WITH THEM BECAUSE YOU REALLY WANTED TO. all it would’ve taken was a conversation with ty. just one. you could’ve told him how you felt. if he didn’t feel the same way then, sure, you could’ve gone with tessa and jem. but it’s entirely possible that he would have. not to mention you at least owed him and dru and explanation or a goodbye. and, no, staring creepily at them from a distance at the wedding does not count as a goodbye! neither does making jem explain it for you. ty lost his twin. he was going through so much. he was obviously not himself. you were someone who was supposed to get him through that and instead you abandoned him without so much as a goodbye or a see you later. hmph. and poor drusilla. she wanted friends, kit, that was it. her oldest brothers were too busy trying to save the world and take care of her to have a true sibling relationship with her. her older sisters were either dead, or had literally just come back from five years in exile. her younger brother was too young and innocent to be any kind of true friend to her yet. and ty, the only sibling she has left that is close enough to her age to be her friend, wouldn’t let her in. she thought she’d found that in you! you taught her how to pick locks, you were teaching her how to con, you were beginning to think of her as a younger sister! and suddenly, when you can’t imagine having a relationship with ty anymore, all thoughts of the relationship you were forming with dru go out the window? god, kit. even if you were going to leave. even if you didn’t want to see ty. you could have seen dru. you could have told her you had to leave and said goodbye to her. told her that you were sorry. asked her to pass the message along to ty. making jem do it was weak, and you know it. i want to be happy for you, but you’re making it really freaking hard.

3. can we talk about the parabatai curse for a second? first things first, the heavenly fire! i’m honestly pretty surprised i was right about that one. i was so, so, so worried that the curse would actually turn them into angels. i did not want that to happen. i obviously had no clue that it would make them grow into giant, fiery, death machines, but alas. i think the whole true nephilim thing was kind of cool, actually. it’s also kind of crazy that the parabatai bond is so strong that when one of the parabatai turned into a true nephilim the other one followed. i honestly still can’t really believe it. i had a pretty hard time picturing emma and julian the size of skyscrapers crushing the cohort, but i found it kind of entertaining. i also almost cried when helen, ty, dru, and tavvy talked to them to bring them back. even cristina, kieran, and aline had things to say to them. it was a really touching scene. i’m also super proud of dru for being able to lead her family and convince them that they needed to help emma and julian. she’s grown so much since lady midnight (but more on that later). the fact that becoming true nephilim broke their parabatai bond is one of the easiest conclusions of any plot in shadowhunter history. especially one that was one of the main plots of a series. i’m so happy for jules and emma. i wish we could see more of them on their travel year. and i hope in twp they’ll be like jace and clary were in tda.

4. kieran kingson to kieran king of the unseelie court. honestly, i expected this one. i didn’t think cassie was going to give us a full-blown polyamorous relationship in all its day-to-day glory. kieran is going to make an amazing king. i’ve loved his character development over the course of the series. we watched him turn from a jealous member of the wild hunt, to a disgraced and begrudgingly helpful prince, to a remorseful and loving faerie, and finally, to a proud and kind king. i’m glad he can still be with cristina and mark in adaon’s cottage, but i almost wish it hadn’t ended this way. i feel bad that he can’t be happy in faerie and that mark and cristina will feel like something is missing whenever they are together without him in the mortal world. it’s bittersweet but more sweet than bitter.

5. i love julian blackthorn. i genuinely did not even know there were people out there who didn’t love him with their entire hearts and souls. i didn’t even know that there was so much controversy around him until i got into the tda tumblr fandom. i am almost never mad at him. almost. the whole ‘no feelings’ thing got old fast. i was pissed at magnus for performing the spell in the first place and i was mega-pissed at jules for requesting it and asking magnus to do it even once he’d heard of the consequences. i hated no feelings julian. it was so sad for me to see the julian i know and love, specifically because he cares so hard and so deeply, lose all his love and compassion. he literally turned into the julian antis like to picture him as. manipulating emma using sex and her desire/love for him was not cool. killing dane was not cool. not to mention, ty needed him. ty was totally broken after livvy’s death. he was holding himself together with some crazy plan to raise her from the dead. he needed julian to tell him he would be okay and to help piece his world back together. obviously, there were times julian literally couldn’t be there for him like when he was in faerie or thule. but when he got back he had a few opportunities to help his brother that he missed because of the stupid spell. this is the only time i’ve ever been genuinely mad at or disappointed in jules. it was painful.

6. let’s talk about thule. crazy to see sebastian’s vision for the world come to a reality. even crazier that he was in this series at all. thule proved that tessa is the strongest warlock of all time and that church is significant to the plot after all. cameron turns out to be a nice dude. diana is openly trans. raphael is alive and kind of funny and lovable (”vampires excel at ispy”). julian was temporarily free of the spell and the parabatai bond didn’t exist. i kind of loved thule. but there were sad and hard parts too. everyone is basically dead. people who haven’t sworn loyalty to sebastian are chased around and hunted by demons for fun. tessa gave her life to finally defeat sebastian. and poor thule!livvy. having to live in a world all by herself. helen is presumably and almost certainly dead. same with dru. julian and emma were endarkened and now they’re dead (nice to see that julian would literally kill himself, in this case thule!julian for his family, though). tavvy was taken and for sure killed by a demon. that same demon slit ty’s throat and thule!livvy held him as he died. she had to make the hard a terrible decision to let cameron, her boyfriend and probably one of the only people she had left, die trapped in the silent city forever. and she couldn’t go with jules and emma back to earth. as much as i knew it was going to happen, it was still terrible and heart-wrenching to see them seperated again. her letter to ty was one of the few moments in the book that made me cry. the fact that ty didn’t even bother much with it really bothered me. ”i love you. i love you. i love you.” it will forever break my heart and also be one of my favorite lines from the entire series. i really do hope that thule!livvy and ty somehow meet in twp. i need them both to get some closure more than i can say.

7. ty. my poor, beautiful ty. he had a really amazing facade throughout pretty much the entire book. i genuinely believed he was okay for a while. but when kit kept mentioning the bruises on his hands, i knew something was up. when dru went into his room and found it a complete mess, with books and clothes everywhere and furniture destroyed, my heart literally cracked in my chest. my baby ty did not deserve the pain he was feeling. i wish he’d gotten more help from kit, or dru, or helen. i wish julian hadn’t been such an idiot with that spell, so he could’ve been there for ty like he deserved. seeing him so distraught made me almost happy that he brought back livvy’s ghost.

8. i’m a little confused about the whole livvy’s ghost thing. the way i read it, ty ripped a hole in the fabric between the world of the living and the world of the dead. but i literally read the entire last 300 pages in like two hours, so i don’t think i totally absorbed everything. (i’ll go back through it all on the reread). basically, if that’s the case, wouldn’t livvy be able to come and go between the worlds as she pleased? what about other ghosts? this is almost definitely tying into the plot of twp. the same way the emma and jules deciding to become parabatai tied into tda. i wish that he hadn’t raised her ghost, because livvy really deserved to rest peacefully. i just hope he has some nice times with livvy’s ghost before he probably has to get rid of her. hopefully, dru can learn to see her too. (also can we talk about her ghost coming to jules during the livia’s watch meeting? broke my heart)

9. dru really grew up right before our eyes, didn’t she? she went from a sort of shy, timid little girl who wanted nothing more than to join the fight to a strong young woman who knew her worth and learned that fighting in battle isn’t always what makes you brave. she went on her own and broke the prisoners out of the gard. and when everyone was going to battle, she stayed behind with tavvy to keep him safe and comfort him.  when jaime was being an ass (still mad at him by the way) she didn’t make herself into someone she wasn’t to try to make him happy. i’m really proud of dru. i can’t wait for her to go to the new shadowhunter academy, make some new friends. kick jaime’s ass for being a dick, and more in the wicked powers.

10. diego becoming inquisitor was probably one of the things i least expected from queen, but i can’t say i’m mad about it. i honestly think its the perfect job for him. i’m happy to see he’s moved on from cristina and didn’t die like i thought he would. he’s really grown on me throughout the series. i went from not really liking him, to hating him, to pitying him, to loving and respecting him as a character. i can’t wait to see what he does as inquisitor and how he help’s move the new clave-in-exile forward. speaking of which, alec as consul. wow. i am so proud of my little baby. he really does deserve the world. he is going to do amazing things for the clave and bring them forward to be more a more caring, accepting, and diverse group of people. i’m so happy that he’s now in the position to make the changes he wants to see in the world. like downworlder-shadowhunter marriages. speaking of which, the malec wedding! i am so happy for the two of them! it is so incredibly cute that alec surpirsed magnus with a wedding ceremony. and that he was so nervous to propose (even though they were already basically married anyways). it was so beautiful. jace as alec’s suggenes. catarina as magnus’. the fireworks. ugh. goals right there. it was also so sweet that kieran came and the hot faerie threesome reunited. and that emma and julian got to be together for real, in public, happily. the whole thing about the blackthorn kids freaking out whenever they found them kissing in the institute hallways was the cutest thing. it made me all warm and fuzzy. i was kind of happy to see that livvy’s ghost was there with ty, but i just hope that she isn’t always there and that ty will eventually learn to live without her. kit staring at him from a distance was sad and creepy. and i’m lowkey pissed that jem and tessa weren’t at the wedding. wtf is that guys? so rude. otherwise super cute, super fun, super happy way to end the book. i approve. 10/10.

11. i can’t believe that alec offered mark and cristina positions on the downworlder-shadowhunter alliance. this is like a dream come true for cristina and i’m so happy for her. i also really hope it will help mark reconcile the differences he feels from other shadowhunters, including his own family, and hopefully, he will feel less torn between the worlds of faeries and mortals. i’m also glad mark and cristina will be staying together. when i heard cristina was going back to mexico, i was very disappointed. her travel year was nowhere near over and i’d hoped she would’ve stayed in los angeles or her and mark would’ve gone with emma and jules. i’m really glad that her and mark will at least be together and get to grow as a couple. it is bittersweet though because it means that the blackthorns are growing apart. jules and emma are going on a (well-deserved) travel year, mark is moving to new york, cristina is going with him. ty is heading to the sholomance, next time we see dru she’ll be at the academy in new york. they’re doing what a normal family does as it grows, and going their separate ways, but it's still so hard to watch it happen when part of what i love about them is that they’re such a tight-knit group. i’m just glad that they’ll all have the institute to return to whenever they want.

12. haline really tugged at my heartstrings this time around. i’ve gotta say, i was fully prepared to not totally like aline. she wasn’t much of an important or defining character to me in tmi and what i did see of her was just kind of eh to me. when cassie released that frittata snippet i was so ready not to like her. i have a major blind spot when it comes to my blackthorn babies, and if anyone even sort of messes with them i am 100% ready to rip their heads off. but i actually really loved aline. she was badass and sensitive and funny and independent and caring all at the same time. seeing her with helen was honestly so cute. their relationship was amazing. i’m so glad they had each other while they were on wrangel island and helped each other adjust to being back. ugh hope to see more of them in la soon. hope they have their baby and tavvy won’t be the baby of the family anymore. i hope they’re only happy for the rest of their lives.

13. i honestly wish the cohort had died. like i was lowkey cheering giant fiery jules and emma on as they slowly, brutally murdered them one by one. they’re awful, bigoted, terrible people and i can’t stand them. zara is one of the worst. i honestly wish emma had killed her. in front of the institute, in battle, i don’t care. i just wish she was dead. she actually deserved it. stabbing emma in the back was one of the lowest moves she ever could have pulled. and all because she was throwing a tantrum that the sword she stole from emma was taken back by emma. when cortana chose emma i was probably the happiest i could be reading the book. emma deserved it and cortana knew it. i do have to say i was in shock that the cohort threatened to kill themselves when alec was elected. and even more shocked that the entire clave left alicante and idris to the cohort. i am sad that the shadowhunters lost their beloved home country. i knew that the cohort was going to gain some kind of power and that they weren’t going anywhere, but this is something i did not expect at all. i have high hopes for the clave-in-exile. alec has already been so good and kind. he changed the laws to allow shadowhunters and downworlders to get married. he praised and accepted diana for being trans and strives to educate himself on transgender people and shadowhunters and what exactly being trans means. hopefully, this kind of open-mindedness and acceptance of others and their differences will stem into the whole of the neurodiverse shadowhunter community. people. like ty, who have autism, or adhd, or dyslexia, or depression and anxiety. the subtle mentions of these things without naming them throughout tda really showed how ignorant the clave is to these kinds of people. (speaking as someone who has add and was ignored for a long time) it isn’t an easy feat to know there is something wrong or different about you but not have anyone acknowledge it. hopefully, alec will learn about the mundane treatments and coping mechanisms for the many neurodivergent shadowhunters out there and allow them the tools thet need to suceed.

14. when annabel died i cheered. i know it seems awful, but the image of julian severing her spine and stabbing her through the heart made me warm and fuzzy inside. my baby avenged his baby livia. AND thule!livvy was there to watch. a truly beautiful moment. i do not feel bad for annabel in the slightest. at first, she was so tortured and sad that i felt for her. even, a little bit, after she killed livvy. i would think, well the cohort was what drove her over the edge or maybe she wouldn’t have done it if her mind wasn’t so destroyed from malcolm’s spells.  but no. she proved that she was lucid and sane enough to manipulate and lie and deceive time and time again. in the unseelie court and in thule. when jules finally got to take of the rag with livvy’s blood on it and throw it onto her dying body i did a little dance. annabel deserved the death she got. and livvy deserved someone to avenge her. but what happened to the black volume? at first, i thought it would stay in thule forever, but if thule!jace and ash could make it into the seelie courts, then it stands to reason that there is another portal open somewhere and that the black volume can be brought back to the seelie queen. i have a feeling we’ll be seeing more of the black volume and necromantic magic in twp. also, can we talk about the fact that the black volume is the dark artifices? it makes sense considering the fact that it has been a major part and plot point of the entire series, but i felt like it was a little underhyped. the seelie king was like oh the black volume aka the dark artifices and then we never talked about it again. i don’t know is that just me?

15. clary is alive! i, for one, genuinely thought she was going to die. the fact that her dreams of herself dying were visions of what was happening in thule seemed kind of cheap. like there was a ton of build up for absolutely no reason. then again, her dreams really were only mentioned, like, once in the series before qoaad and really not much in queen. we really just hyped it all up a lot as a fandom, so i guess we shouldn’t have expected more. but i am glad she is alive because that means her and jace are getting married! when jace said he wanted six or eight kids because of the blackthorns, i cried a little inside. so cute! cassie better give us the clace wedding and not just fast forward to twp where they will already be married and chasing around a while expecting another baby (i am speaking this into existence). speaking of weddings that we need to see in writing, sizzy! my babies are happy! i have shipped sizzy since day one, guys. day one. if i am robbed of a sizzy wedding i will riot and it will not be pretty. 

16. that epilogue though! i was not expecting it. i was confused for a littke while. in the back of my mind, i was wondering how ash would even tie into twp if he was in thule. now i know. thule!jace is crazy. i have a feeling there will be an epic showdown between him and normal jace which will be super interesting. i have a feeling thule!jace is a lot like what our jace was like when he was linked to sebastian. considering he basically has been for quite some time and apparently, there is no going back. hopefully someone kills the seelie queen in twp and someone better can take over the trone bc that bitch has been getting on my nerves since day one.

17. ty is going to the sholomance and i’m so happy for my little baby. the sholomance is going to have great teachers, like catarina and ragnor, and ty is going to learn so much. kit is with tessa and jem and, while i’m still super pissed at him and upset he isn;t with ty, i am so glad he’s going to have parents for once in his life. parents who are loving and kind and caring. and he’ll get to hang out with baby carstairs (hopefully a boy named will. i’m speaking that one into existence too.). dru is going to make new friends. tavvy is going to grow up. helen and aline are going to have a baby, so all our faves will be aunts/uncles. ugh, i cannot wait for the wicked powers you guys have no idea!

this is basically it! if you guys want to hear my opinions on anything else, or you have any questions for me about any part of the book my asks are always open! i seriously love when you guys send me asks, so please do!

[jellybeanbeing]

Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare

WARNING: It’s gon’ be long.

Synopsis:

What if damnation is the price of true love?

Innocent blood has been spilled on the steps of the Council Hall, the sacred stronghold of the Shadowhunters. In the wake of the tragic death of Livia Blackthorn, the Clave teeters on the brink of civil war. One fragment of the Blackthorn family flees to Los Angeles, seeking to discover the source of the blight that is destroying the race of warlocks.

Meanwhile, Julian and Emma take desperate measures to put their forbidden love aside and undertake a perilous mission to Faerie to retrieve the Black Volume of the Dead. What they find in the Courts is a secret that may tear the Shadow World asunder and open a dark path into a future they could never have imagined. Caught in a race against time, Emma and Julian must save the world of Shadowhunters before the deadly power of the parabatai curse destroys them and everyone they love.

REVIEW WITH SPOILERS!

Queen of Air and Darkness was INTENSE. My goodness... There was so much stuff that happened and were packed into this book. It was amazing and so well done with some exceptions but I’ll get into it later on. Overall, it was so emotional, dynamic, and great! And since this book was so big, I’m gonna try to go over every storyline(?) or significant character.

Starting off with Ty/Kit/Dru. I knew that some necromancy was gonna happen and I was prepared for it, BUT I thought that Livvy’s ghost was gonna pop up and say “stop it” and then everything would go back. Apparently, that’s not what happens. Ty now has to face his consequences which I’m pretty sure we’re going to see in The Wicked Powers. I wasn’t so invested in their story line, mostly because it didn’t have a big relation with the bigger story line. I felt like it was all set up for Kit and Ty’s story. I did really enjoy it though. We get to see more layers of Kit and Ty, and even Dru. I really loved getting to know Dru more. She has such a great voice and seeing things from her perspective was so interesting. I’m really excited to get more from her because what we did get from her in QOAAD, I really liked. She’s so smart, strong, and has a lot of potential to grown and be an even more amazing character.

I am loving Kit even more as we get to know him and the complexity of his character. I can understand his decision at the end when he wants to leave with Tessa and Jem without saying goodbye to the Blackthorns (especially Ty). Since Livvy’s death, all Kit did was be there for Ty even if what he was doing was really wrong. But when they both were at Lake Lyn and Livvy’s ghost came up, Ty was saying how there was nothing for him if Livvy wasn’t there, and that hurt Kit. So I can understand Kit’s decision. On another note though, KIT IS THE DESCENDANT OF THE FIRST HEIR? And that scene where he and Emma are with the Riders and magic just bursts out of him? How did that even happen? I need to know what is up with that. Again, on another note, I am always loving how Kit is accepting the fact that he’s a Shadowhunter. I love a good character development, and Kit’s development is so good. When he has that conversation with Jace, Kit wants his own weapon of choice and it was such a precious scene. We can really see Kit’s growing love of being a Shadowhunter.

We didn’t get a Ty perspective AT ALL in QOAAD so I’m really thinking Cassandra Clare is saving his voice for TWP which I’m all for. We’ll get to hear his voice and it’ll be so great. Ty was really something in this book though. I was lowkey kind of getting Julian-ish vibes from him. Ty was so determined to fix himself and his family that he completely forgot the logistics of everything and tried to do the almost impossible. We saw that Blackthorn stubbornness in him and I wasn’t all about it. I JUST NEED HIS PERSPECTIVE because when he got that letter from Thule Livvy, it seemed like he didn’t care. Not even a tiny bit. I just... I need TWP now. On a side note, holy mole. What if the Thule Jace coming to the normal Shadowhunter world is the consequence for Ty trying to raise Livvy? The necromancy could’ve opened a portal and let them pass through. Oh shit. DAMN IT. That means Ty will have to face this consequence and there’s gonna be another war. Are you kidding me?

I want to explore the Scholomance more. With just the small scenes we get of it, it seems so interesting. They weren’t happy or jolly scenes but something about it makes me want to delve in the Centurions lives more. I’m hoping that in The Wicked Powers, we will get to see more of the Scholomance. Especially since Ty is going to become a Centurion which WOW. I can’t wait for it. 

Moving onto Diana/Jia. Seeing things from their perspectives was pretty interesting considering that they are really the only adults here besides the TMI gang. We really saw the politics during their parts and it was unsettling because of the parallels it had with our real world politics. That was one thing that scared me. We know how things have gone in the real world when hateful people and extremists have power and influence. With those parallels, we can kind of grasp at how high the stakes are within the Shadowhunter government. There was that scene where Diego, Divya, and Rayan are brought upon the council and have the runes of Quietude put on them so they can’t speak. This hit me hard and made me tear up because it was so real. They, who are still basically children, aren’t given the chance to speak for themselves and are imprisoned. It was so heartbreaking to read that scene. But overall, I didn’t really care for Diana/Jia’s story line because nothing really happened.

There was that one badass scene where Diana was talking to Horace and he’s trying to convince her to side with him. I was so nervous that Diana wouldn’t have a way out of it and when she agreed to it, I was like, WE ARE FUCKED. But no. Diana grabs Horace’s sword, chops his arm off, and busts out the window like a BADASS. I was livid. 

And then the hot faerie threesome aka Cristina/Mark/Kieran. This was a pretty wild one. I absolutely loved the character development with every one of them. Not really Cristina because her character arc wasn’t that big or different. Mark and Kieran have come so far from being these broken faerie warriors to these strong and amazing people. It makes my heart ache and feel so happy. Oh my gosh, that last scene with the three of them at Magnus and Alec’s wedding, killed me. There’s that recurring line “Remember that none of it is real.” and at the end, Mark says, “Remember that all of this is real.” RIGHT IN THE FEELS.

I need to know more about the relationship between the Rosales family and faeries. There are so many unanswered questions with this. Why does Cristina have that time medallion thingy and the Rosales have the Eternidad? And I’m pretty sure there’s something sketchy about all of that. I need answers...

Speaking of the Rosales, Diego and Jaime? I actually really liked them in this book. I was pissed at Diego for lying to Cristina but he kind of redeemed his character. He showed his compassion and kindness which I really liked, and he apologized to Cristina. He confronted the situation and knew what he did was really shitty. Side note: I really ship him with Divya and I’m hoping to see them both in TWP at the Scholomance with Ty. ALSO, Diego was asked to take the spot as Inquisitor????? Would’ve never thought of Diego as the Inquisitor but I’m not mad. Yay, Diego. Jaime literally didn’t have a huge role in here and I felt like he was just there to set up TWP story line. For a second when Diego and Jaime were in the cell together, I thought that Jaime was going to die. I think it would’ve added so much more drama if he did die and given them something to hold against the Cohort but it’s okay. Jaime lived so yay.

Really quick before we get into Emma and Julian’s part, Aline was probably one of my top favorite characters in QOAAD. She was so sassy and always stood up for Helen. She was also so understanding and logical. Aline is quick to catch onto things and I’m hoping we get to see more or Helen and Aline and their POSSIBLE BABY.

Now let’s get to Emma and Julian. I was kind of disappointed in their characters, not gonna lie. I was really liking them in the beginning but towards the end, I was beginning to not really care if they lived or not. It just makes me sad because they’re the main characters. But if I’m gonna be REAL HONEST here, I didn’t really care for anyone’s story line. This pains me to say SO MUCH because this is my favorite series in the entire Shadowhunter Chronicles. 

Anyways, back to Emma and Julian. I was really liking borderline evil Julian. He was really living up to his ruthless title and it was so interesting. I seriously thought that his character would just continue to go downhill and no one was going to or could save him from it. That scene where Emma and Julian find out that Dane Larkspear was following them and then Julian MURDERS HIM sent chills down my spine. Julian was so cold and heartless in that moment and I kind of liked it. Also, call me heartless too but Dane deserved it. When he decided to go fetch the Black Volume by himself, he was asking to be killed. Back to Julian, though I liked borderline evil and emotionless Julian, he was such an asshole. Not only did he lie to and hurt Emma, he also did the same thing to his siblings. What the fudge nuggets, Julian? I was so glad that Magnus took that spell off of him because I was low key getting irritated. BUT that spell should have never been put on him in the first place, just saying.

I still think Emma is such a great strong female lead character. As I said in my Lady Midnight review, she is strong both mentally and physically but she has emotions. She expresses those emotions and shows her vulnerabilities. She ain’t no stone cold badass who welds a sword around, threatening people all the time. She’s a cool badass and I love it. One thing I really liked was how when Emma and Julian are in Thule and Julian tells Emma that he can feel again, she doesn’t just jump at the chance to be with Julian. He hurt her and lied to her, and she ain’t about that. Even when they returned from Thule, Emma knew Julian wasn’t himself and restrained herself from getting hurt by him again. 

That battle scene in the Unseelie Court was probably one of the most epic scenes in this book for me. We get Jace and Clary back, Mark and Kieran are there in chains, about to die, and there’s also Adaon, Julian, Emma, and Cristina there. I almost forgot that ASH, ANNABEL, AND THE SEELIE QUEEN WERE THERE TOO! Everything just went to shit but Kieran killed the Unseelie King, the Seelie Queen stole Adaon, Ash and Annabel jump through that portal, and soon after when the building is in flames, Julian and Emma jump through the portal too. It was absolute chaos and I loved it. And you know what scene I lived for during this whole thing? It’s when Julian is stabbing the shit out of Ethna with Simon’s D&D figurine. Amazing.

This book made me realize how crucial or very helpful it is to have read The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices. I feel like if you’ve only really read TID and TDA, you won’t be able to grasp the how high the stakes are in Queen of Air and Darkness. Especially the whole deal with the Mortal sword and the Dark War.

Speaking of the Dark War.. when Emma and Julian went to Thule, I didn’t know what to expect but I was not expecting what we got. It was so different from what we know of the Shadowhunter world and it felt like a short novella inside QOAAD. But again, being honest here, that was the best part in this entire book. I was so captivated and entertained by this alternate dimension. Seeing Livia grown up and being a leader was just so nice to see, but it was also heartbreaking. 

Y’all, Cameron deserved so much more. I don’t know about you guys but I didn’t really care or like Cameron because we got the bare minimum of him. I also don’t know if it was mentioned in the other books about how he was as a person but the way Emma described him in QOAAD, he seemed like a sweet and goofy guy. I mean, this boy sent Emma llama pictures when he was sad. How precious is that? He was done dirty in this book. He was locked in the city of bones while fighting for his life by his girlfriend Livvy, got stabbed by his own cousin, and was ridiculed by his entire family. Cameron needs a hug.

I am so loving how the writing and characters in this book are getting so (dare i say) “rebellious”. Cassandra Clare isn’t sugar coating ANYTHING OR ANYONE anymore. I just want to appreciate the appearance of curse words whether its in English or another language. My rebellious heart loves it. I think this also ties into the fact that a lot of these characters are so done with the bullshit that’s been thrown at them that they just don’t care about censoring themselves anymore.

Zara and the entire Cohort can go choke. That’s all I’m gonna say about them.

That last battle scene was just intense. And the build up for this scene was equally as intense. I just absolutely loved how Julian got his shit together and remembered who he was. He is a motherforking genius. He contacted everyone he knew and set up that meeting. This seventeen year old boy did that. He was also smart enough to know that there was obviously going to be spies at the meeting so he had a secluded one after the majority of people left. I knew the Cohort was screwed from there on out, even when it was revealed that “Oskar” was Annabel. I was shocked but I knew they were gonna be in deep shit. But back to that last battle scene. What the fork? Everything was going pretty smoothly until someone just had to throw the knife and kill someone. I was living for that scene with the Mortal Sword. Everything was coming out and it was so amazing. But shit happened, so there’s that. 

The ending for this battle scene was a different kind of battle scene that I’m used to reading. Usually the perspective stays within the battle but Cassandra Clare included ALL perspectives of this battle, on field and out. I seriously thought that after Emma and Julian became giants, they were going to die or have all of their marks stripped. I really didn’t think they were have a happy ending. I mean, I’m happy they did but, it just doesn’t make sense. Also, I was not expecting Emma and Julian to become giants. Was it only me who imagined them as the Green Giant from the frozen vegetables thingy? Haha, yeah, just me.

I did really like how we saw so many perspectives of the battle. It made for a really good battle scene, but I guess I was a bit underwhelmed by the entire ending of this book.

THAT EPILOGUE? I was kind of expecting to get an epilogue similar to the one in Clockwork Princess. In Clockwork Princess, we get closure and I felt satisfied with the entire story but THE QOAAD EPILOGUE? I’m unsettled and I have to wait until around 2022 FOR ANSWERS. My heart will be unsettled for about 4 years. Okay. Cool.

Just the fact that this whole situation is coming full circle back to TMI but with it being more complex, is making me so tired of these assholes coming back to fuck shit up. Let these children be, goddamn it. 

I seriously thought I would feel at ease when I finished QOAAD but I don’t. That’s the one thing that bothers me. This book is so big yet we have SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS AND LOOSE ENDS. Please fucking yell at me if this was also the situation for COHF because it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read it.

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed some aspect of this even if it’s complete shit.