#lives were changed that night
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#my roan empire
#userchappell#chappellsource#chappellroanedit#chappell roan#chappell roan*#my favorite midwest princess#actually i wasn't planning to make gifs of this but...#(laughs) my roan empire#lives were changed that night#also my grey warden in ostagar lmao#mine#gif#tw flashing#tw fire
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You know what's a scenario that won't leave my head? Lucifer being dragged off to a Deadly Sin reunion party in the Gluttony ring, returning home hours later giggly and COMPLETELY wasted, and Alastor having to deal with him.
Imagine Lucifer the moment he sees Al, stumbling up and zero hesitation throwing his arms around the deer's middle and saying, "Aaaaayyy Beautiful~🤤🥰😚" And just Alastor's reaction to that!🤭😁
Just Lucifer being so uninhibited and openly affectionate and drunkenly showering Al with complements. At some point, Luc pulls out a tiny little drink umbrella (red with white stipes with little black devil horns on top) that reminded him of Alastor. And forgetting that he can FLY, he climbs Al like a tree and, oh so carefully, nestles the umbrella between Alastor's ear and antler.
Lucifer then proceeds to latch onto Alastor with all his limbs like a koala, refusing to let go. And poor Al is just at a loss as to how to handle this clingy, sweet-talking gremlin🤣🤣🤣
Lucifer didn't remember anything the next morning, Alastor pretended it never happened, but Husk and Angel will never forget.
#their lives were changed that night#nothing made sense anymore#up was down#black was white#heaven was hell#they're forever changed#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#lucifer morningstar#the radio demon#appleradio#radioapple#hazbin lucifer#lucifer magne#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel fanart#asks#anonymous#anon#hazbin hotel husk#angel dust hazbin hotel#fan art my art#husker#angel dust
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you know im thinking. im thinking maybe Yoichi wasn't even that into captain hero as an adult, but AfO kept bringing LITERALLY every conversation back to that because he decided to Be The Demon Lord and so Yoichi like, can't get an argument in unless he uses the same material so he's like 'oh my god i haven't even thought about that comic in ten years but even i know the bad guy didn't win. you should not be basing you whole identity, business model, and world destruction plan on your five-second impression of a comic book bad guy who didn't even win! also you shouldn't kill people!'
#AfO has a very flat picture of Yoichi in his head#His Possession. Weak and small. and taught him language reading and socialization with Captain Hero#he's THORS POPTARTS-ing his own brother in his memories#what sort of art styles did yoichi like? how did he interact with gender? did he like his eyes or did he wish they were different? was he a#morning person or a night person? were there clothing textures he loved or couldn't stand? did he like to collect feathers or leaves? did h#ever pick up any sense of religious knowledge from his assorted readings? cultural identity? did he learn how to cook in theory but never#had the materials to practice? or did he cook once they were older as AfO sort of internalized that as yoichi's subservient role?#or did he make absolute monstrosities when he attempted to bake anything?#We dont know because all we see of Yoichi is:#his brother's memories of him. could be flanderization for all we know#and an imprint of Yoichi in ofa#who by necessity has to be focused on his brother#we'll never get to see the whole picture of the dead holders. they're dead. and we can't change that. can't know their vibrant lives#so yeah lets see. a five+one fic about yoichi's changing relationship with media property captain hero over time in his life and death#compared to afo's static impression of yoichi's relationship / afo's own unchanging relationship with it#hmmmm
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from another mother...
the day when Tess and Maria got shitfaced
#tess and maria appreciation#they've tried to have a girls night like this for such a long time so when miller brothers screwed up (again) well this happened#sooo i believe that there's someone in jackson who make pizzas on a regular basis or like on the weekends#it wouldn't be a girls night without 20 years old magazine full of dumb and funny quizzes#according to one maria is a cornbread and tess is a brioche#these women can't hold their liquor tho#tess tried to teach maria how to smoke but failed maybe next time#ellie walked into a house at some point but quickly changed her mind when she saw that absolute chaos#boys were at tommy's thinking (and drinking) about their life choices and “what in the hell did they do wrong this time”#they found their wives in the morning passed out on the couch with house stinking of cigarettes and booze so they are even now i guess#i think there's a revenge coming soon#that hangover tho..... ugh#tess servopoulos#maria miller#tess tlou#tess lives#when i tell u i started this in january but managed to finish it now in-between some other work... i wouldn't be lying
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"Is that me???"
-Ally Beardsley as Liam Wilhemina engaging in some Time Quangle shenanigans
when they said this during the show this image popped into my head and wouldnt leave till i drew it so uh. Peppermint Boys
#dimension 20#ally beardsley#time quangle#liam wilhemina#pete conlan#time quangle glasgow#dimension 20 live spoilers#dimension 20 fanart#my art#yes i changed his teapot i wanted it to have night sky dream vibes#anyway they were incredible to watch live i havent laughed this much in ages
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New Age AU (Obtaining Killer)
Hey guys! Through with a bot of stuff for the day and I have a sneaking suspicion that this stress headache will not leave me until I finish some projects for work, so I *may* be m.i.a. for a hot second until they stop.
In the meantime, I want to drop this! (Unedited, unrefined, raw off the slab style)
Andddd @ancha-aus and @papiliovolens ! Hello! (Mutzelputz if u see this, the tags weren't working for some reason, I apologize.)
Hope y'all enjoy!
Ccino had convinced him to leave the castle. After nearly a year had passed since his last true public appearance. Since he'd stolen the apple from his brother. Nine months had passed since he'd sent Dream away. He tried not to think about it.
Nightmare had been finding out a lot about his magic. How it made him jittery, and how he felt like he understood so much more. How it made him deeply paranoid, quick to react.
How it made people listen to him.
He figured it was because he was scary now. The negative magic condensed over every inch of his bone wasn't exactly appealing, and the extra limbs which had sprouted from his spine now acted like his own personal weapons. If someone didn't listen, didn't give him an answer he liked, the limbs moved without him even thinking.
It had taken time to learn to better control them. Even now, they writhed in his wake. His nerves expressed through their lashing and twitching as they hovered just above the ground.
The streets weren't exactly crowded.
Upon word of the King's arrival to this small providence, Nightmare had found that many people fled from his path. His travel party of several soldiers, and himself on horseback. He'd always wanted to ride horses. The traitor twin was someone that every citizen wished to avoid.
Ccino had coaxed him outside with promises of fresh air. Apparently there were promising young members of the city guard that Ccino swore would be wonderful future knights. Young warriors for him to bring up loyally under his name, no fear of betrayal.
It had made sense, at the time, but Nightmare hadn't chosen to recruit any of them.
It wasn't to say he didn't want to. Several of the humans and monsters were very talented, and he did his best to give them praise, but he could tell. None of them wanted to work under him. They didn't like him. Rejection and hatred that had pierced him immediately, he could practically taste it.
Ultimately, they would do better here in their hometown. A place they were passionate about protecting, and with people they cared for. Night would not try to mold promising soldiers into his perfect guard. No matter how smart of an idea it may have been.
And so he'd moved on.
Night had visited several smaller shops, onces which couldn't afford to refuse him, and he bought some fabrics, a trinket, some small thing from each place he stopped by. He payed exactly the price he needed for each thing. He wouldn't bribe his people, either. The best he could do would be to remain neutral.
He did discover, against all odds, that he was enjoying this day out. Ccino was, in fact, usually correct about this sort of thing.
The travel had been enriching. Almost exciting. He'd never gotten out of the castle much at all, this was all new and excitingly mundane.
Good things do not last forever.
It was almost sunset when he noticed it. Torches being set up, a platform prepared. A crowd gathering.
An execution, came the mutter from one of his soldiers. Though he recognized the set-up, Night had never been in attendance to an execution. He was morbidly curious. The crowd held such a contempt. A broiling hunger for blood.
He wished he'd wheeled his horse away when a few people were ushered out of a nearby building.
The prison, maybe?
There weren't many of them. Nightmare dismounted his steed, and much to the dismay of the soldiers at his side, he found himself sinking. Into the growing shadows cast by the dying sun.
He re-emerged beside the stage, where the few people were lined up. Ready for death by hanging.
That trick wasn't one that Nightmare quite understood yet, but he was always drawn to feelings of intense negativity. He knew that, now. Something about these prisoners were bothering him, even at a distance, and he found himself more curious as he stood before them.
His guards, at the back of the crowd, hadn't seemed to figure out where he had gone. He had the time, now, to loom over the small group of prisoners.
The city guards, the trained ones, had likely seen him earlier at their headquarters. They did not speak even a word against him as he stared.
Nightmare stared at these faces.
A dog monster, scrappy and scarred, black fur clashing against a few patches of white. One of her ears was missing.
A pair of humans, both men, one with long, curly red hair and another with short-cropped red hair and the beginnings of a beard. Maybe they were brothers?
A skeleton. His sockets dripped with black magic, and his soul was a piercing crimson, just infront of his chest.
A flame monster, small and stout. Their flames a flickering green and purple. One of their eyes had a patch over it.
Nightmare was not great at determining emotions yet. He was hardly versed in his own feelings, but there had been improvement recently. Understanding new emotions had been coming more naturally to him.
Sometimes it hurt, but he was learning.
Now, past the blossoms of a headache, he felt a bit baffled as he subconsciously picked through the negativity these monsters exuded. Their fear. Their pain. Their loss, and their anger.
Oh.
"Only one of you is guilty."
He'd said it without thinking, practically announcing it with a voice that still felt unnaturally deep. A voice which rattled his ribcage and seemed to force past the barrier of darkness around him.
The group before him seemed startled. Confused.
Well, all but the skeleton, who seemed to only raise his skull slightly. As though just noticing Nightmare was there.
"How could you have possibly been jailed in the first place?" He muttered a bit quieter to himself.
He knew, deep down, that there were many, many rules in place for situations like this. Laws which he could challenge. People he could speak to. He could appoint members of his court to each of these people and try to earn their innocence through the rites of the law.
Then again, he remembered the rage of the crowd. The frustration of the people waiting to see these killings take place.
He didn't know what to do.
Now the prisoners, especially the two humans, were staring at him hopefully. He'd managed to shatter the negativity a bit. He believed them. He knew this was wrong.
"I don't know..."
The mutter came again unprompted.
These people would not have the means to repay him for his help. He couldn't just waive fees, or risk his court turning against him. He couldn't afford enemies being made so close to his inner circle.
He couldn't just leave them, though. Not after he'd seen the injustice of it all.
Stuck in his own thoughts, he was drawn out of it by a snickering laugh.
"Just set them free." A voice followed, "You are our King, aren't you?"
Nightmare then found his eyes drawn to the skeleton.
The others had eased themselves away from him. He stood, now, almost alone. He seemed unbothered by speaking up, his sockets held in an almost lazy posture. Tension going completely un-held.
He grinned up as the King, and seemed to watch contentedly as the thought settled in Nightmare's skull.
He could do that. Simply waive their charges. Pardon them. He could do that, surely. Many royals had done it before him for less certain terms. His mother had plenty of times.
"And you are guilty. You'll still be hanged. You know this, don't you?" Nightmare asked.
That was when the Skeleton's lazy sockets seemed to tighten with a sort of glee. Some hidden joke Nightmare wasn't privy to.
"Hmm." This was a poor choice. This was a bad decision. "Tell me, quickly, how you came to be here. Before I proceed?"
Nightmare didn't know why he was asking. He was... curious. Just like he had always been.
Very few people would ever speak straight to his face. Ccino, that was the only one who'd done it since his change. Since the prophecy. This skeleton had done it. He'd spoken when no one else could muster even a plea.
The silence he seemed to bring to every room. Broken, just briefly.
The skeleton stared at him a moment.
"Name's Killer, your majesty." The tone was mocking. "A while back a buddy of mine got into hot water, and I decided to help them out. Now, plenty of bodies later, I'm the one stuck on death row."
Simple. An admission of guilt.
Nightmare stared at him some more.
Finally, it seemed his frantic guards had noticed him. Found him. They rushed to his side, though not as fast as he would've liked. He could feel the frustration seeping from each armored body around him.
"You don't have an aversion to it," Nightmare voiced, "Killing, I mean."
Killer nodded. Unashamed.
It felt strangely calm, still. Perhaps it was because the crowd was still chattering. They likely hadn't noticed Nightmare at all.
The king turned to the city guard, still stood on the steps. "Free these four people. My judgement decrees them as not-guilty."
And, before any time could pass in the slightest. "Killer, I would like you to accompany me, before you abscond."
He'd noticed it. Killer had undone his cuffs before their conversation. Completely freeing himself from his weak imprisonment.
Killer seemed amused at the concept of sticking around to chat.
"If you would, I would like to recruit your services at my castle. I need a man who is willing to kill. And kill swiftly." Ccino said to establish an image. It was obvious now that his reputation would remain in the gutter, no matter what choices he made. He was not Dream.
Killer's sockets narrowed.
"And what would I get for being your little hunting dog?" Again, it was bold. It was new.
Nightmare was sure his expression hadn't changed since he'd come before the group. That same angry glare that sat permanently along his skull. The magic had an image to project.
His tendrils flicked, slightly.
"Payment, room, Fresh meals, and any other amenities you may like, so long as it does not break our treasury." He replied, "All I ask is that you simply obey me. And Me alone."
Not true. He'd probably ask for him to listen to Ccino as well. Once he knew for certain he'd stay.
Killer seemed to be thinking. He eyed they king, up and down. He looked to each of the guard around the king. The ones who were back in position now, though Nightmare could feel their annoyance. Their confusion.
Then Killer turned.
Then he turned back.
"Mm. Can't be worse than the ol' noose." Killer replied. "Funny way to run a country, my king. Hiring the first murderer you spot?"
Nightmare didn't humor that with a response. He was honestly shocked the skeleton had even agreed.
Though, all of that negativity had been swapped out for a glee. Something deep in Killer had changed during their brief interaction. A hope. Night could barely grasp the edges of its existence with his subconscious. But it was there.
.
He ignored the crowds as they grew confused. He ignored the worry pouring from the criminals as he had them released and informed them of their pardon.
He did not ignore when his guards told someone to keep their distance. He glanced up. Killer was standing beyond the guards, looking bored.
Nightmare, trusting fool he was, didn't even ask a guard to watch him to ensure he stayed put.
"Stand down." He ordered the guard, who begrudgingly allowed the skeleton to smugly slip past.
His tendrils kept the monster at a distance Night preferred all on their own. He seemed to take the hint.
"They're all gonna be dead by morning, you know." Killer voiced easily.
Nightmare turned to him, confused. What did he mean by that? He'd pardoned them?
"Are you deaf? The crowd wanted us dead, especially me." He chuckled, "Leaving them here is definitely going to get them killed. If the crowd doesn't rip them apart the second you leave, then it'll happen at night. There will be no witnesses."
Oh... Night hadn't fathomed that these people could turn on the innocent once declared. It hadn't even crossed his mind. Did they have a home to return to? A family they put at risk?
The noose was a fast death, but being murdered? That would've been so much worse.
He could tell, by the way they evaded looking at Killer, that he was right. Nightmare would be sentencing them to a new sort of death if he did it like this.
But he didn't have time for a trial. Or several. The sun was going down, abd Ccino expected him back. The castle needed him present, or they might revolt.
Someone might hurt Ccino.
Oh, he was such a poor ruler. He did not know his people well enough. How he lamented the lessons Dream had taken about crowds and current issues abd how to be likeable.
Night didn't know how to handle this. He was still learning!
A trembled in his hand. He tucked the limb quickly away from where it had been lightly clutching his tunics thick fabric, now hiding it beneath his cloak.
"Killer is right. It won't be safe here, for any of you." He spoke. Thank the gods it didn't sound as shaken as he felt. "I extend an offer to you all. You may stay here, or you may come take up positions among my staff back at the castle. Unlike Killer, I do not expect any crime from you, but you will be paid and housed."
The offer was met with a roar of frustration from the crowd, Nightmare chose to allow his guards to handle it. He watched, carefully, as the four looked between eachother.
The brothers agreed first. (They introduced themselves as brothers as they knelt in thanks.) Then the Dog. She said she had no family left to watch over, starting a new life would be for the best.
The flame refused, saying they would leave town by morning, and try to stay safe.
And so, Nightmare left the town with four new party members. Each had been provided a horse, each tied to one of the guards. Aside from Killer, whose steed was held personally by Nightmare.
He figured Ccino would chew him out for this, for bringing criminals into the castle when he was sent to collect soldiers, but Nightmare had a good feeling about these ones.
They did not hate him. Or fear him. He was helping them. And it felt good.
#hoping this posts. i put it into drafts first...#new age au#Night is a little poorly written here. but I promise it's intentional.#i love making the narration feel just as displaced as the character it's followinh#also. might write smth for Killer's pov of this because I can promise you#90% of it is “this loser has no clue what the fuck he”#'s doing“#in a mix of awe and amusement#and he 100% started with ulterior motives and ended up having a change of heart because of the whole#him sensing vaguely that Night was a weird paranoid kid still#OH#and that odd bit in the middle where Night is doing stuff isn't fleshed out very well#but it's meant to be a show of Night making sure his presence is known + gauging how people react to him being perfectly normal#and more importantly#he lost track of his plans. he's actually not supposed to be doing that. he's still a kid and he wanted to explore!#mm#okay#one more note#Nightmare takes those people back with him right? his castle staff is like 20% people from before and 80% people he freed from#unlawful situations or took in when they had nothing#the public sees it as him taking in shifty#evil criminals. but really? these people look up to nightmare because they were at their lowest and now have stable lives + homes and even#families sometimes#it's just cool#inside the castle is a lot safer than outside#even tho Ccino is still the only one who prepares Night's meals I think a good hunk of the staff would maul anyone they found w/ poison in a#mile radius of the kitchen.#raughhhh#okay fr last thing#I love Killer :] Him being the first is so important to me and I think he deserves the happiness ever
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Danse has to get homesick In Sanctuary. Like despite being uncertain of how much his past is real including times with the Brotherhood, those memories were home. The Brotherhood was home especially the Prydwen.
No matter all the comfort and the luxuries SoSu could put to make him feel more relaxed or like it’s his space it’s still not home. It’s so unique to him cause everyone else has a home in a sense. A thing or place they can come and go to as they please while Danse doesn’t. He can never go back to the people he considered family and they can never go to him without serious consequences. It doesn’t help that (due to his own faults and beliefs) a good majority of the new people in his life do not exactly like him.
It’s so isolating for him as the wasteland is also a different culture in general. Theres so much he’s not used to vs what he is. But all in all I think that’s a good thing. I feel as if Danse had a better arc in game it would 100% have him learning or developing a sense of home before a sense of self. I think it gets overlooked that Danse is a person that likes or feels like he needs to belong to something. A cause, a philosophy, a mission. He needs a goal. He must learn to live for himself and his purpose but it’s clear he wants to find that through something which is why he latches onto the Sole Survivor after rather than just wander the wastes. He needs something, anything to base a sense of self on at this point in time and who better than the person that opened their home to him in the first place.
He’s a dude that needs a foundation or home to ground himself on or else he doesn’t know what to do with himself or even start.
#my persona take it that’s why despite Danse being an ass to the other companions at time SoSu gets it cause they remember when they just#woke up from the vault#like the world was so different and the things they thought were outdated wrong or nonexistent by now#Danse has a long way to go but they know how hard and detrimental it can be to do it by yourself and they know Danse would get better if he#actually learned and lived under not the bigots of steel#cause I put him in sanctuary after and he always stays far from everyone like strong and patrols the edge like he’s avoiding everyone or he#is not comfortable there so I imagine he’s like getting used to and actually letting it settle he’s a synth#his life if he wants to call it that is a lie and th wonky place he felt like he had a purpose now wants him dead#and finds him a disgrace and he certainly does to cause of bos propaganda#like he’s racist but the story clearly shows you it’s like this is what been enstilled in him cause he can get better that blind betrayal#and before I get someone being like but he only gets better cause he experiences the oppression and like yeah#he got yanked out of a pseudo religious organization with highly conservative views for the setting and was put at thr opposing end despite#all hes done and rhe brotherhoods supposed loyalty to each other doimg nothing tk belp#him and now hes realizing thag if he was a synth and didnt know ans lived a life fully beliving he was human#than maybe the brotherhood was wrong abouy things or at least synths#like hes not gonna change over night and bethany esda certainly does not know how to right charactwr arcs well in this game#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse#danse fallout 4#talking about him like i ever side with the brotherhood
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rip やつ you will always be famous (was written as 奴 in the major album’s tracklist)
#i wonder if they’ll change it back when the album actually drops though…#also congrats to minami for being the one and only idol series character to have all of his solo songs in the major album!!!!!!!#watashi no mikata turned into a *narumi* mona song (from her stagename of ‘mona’) what if i cried#no omoiai songs though huh~~~~~~~~ what a pity but i cant say it wasnt expected#rip to no romeo mvm though lmao looks like all the special vids we’re getting are the vomics + hiyori’s mini anime from album 3#i wonder if they’re gonna redub ken and uchida in the vomics… prolly not huh~~#the gen 1 and 2 vomics are so funny though y’all are in for a treat~~~~#i think it’d be nice if they bundled the manga volumes with the album… and if they’d include the gen 1 vol 0 manga with it#since it’s ancient history and all. y’know. i mean; i have the thing (thanks resellers ily) but i think more people should have access to it#sure p much everything in it’s retconned anyway (it takes place when gen 1 were 2nd year students for one) but it’s still really cute~~#but… hmmmmm… that ‘and more’ at the end of the album content listing though…. suspicious….#cmon hw it’s not too late to add minami’s live dances to the bonus disc!!!!!!!!!!!!!#show us bae love in 4k hd!!!!!!!!!!!!!#(ok um i have no idea where i was going with this but this is where we’ve ended up)#(anyways. uh. stay safe!!! good luck!!!!! and!!!!! good night!!!!!!!!)
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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yeah no sorry i won’t ever be shutting up about this performance
#lives were changed#he was so smiley that night#the curly hair and the shirt :(#matty healy#the 1975#photoset
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I assigned reading homework for the weekend and was hit by this wave of irritation with the implicit lying that goes on where they act like they’ll read the homework but they never actually do and so I called them on it and started teasing them and of course they laughed but then I was like “you know my secret dream is that you go home and you walk in the door and someone wants to do something fun with you or you get a text but you hold up your hand and say ‘no no, I have to read ten pages of Beowulf’ and then you sit down and do it” and they scream-laughed at the idea but I like to think it at least presented it to their minds as a possibility
#I ended up telling 3 of my classes because I thought it was so funny and so did they#But then it was sweet because my seniors (a handful of them at least) were like ‘but we do!!’#and then it just kickstarted this real discussion where I told them honestly that my job would radically change if everyone did the reading#like. It would challenge me so much more we could go so much further#anyway I know that mostly it doesn’t work. it being my passion for it and my desire for them to read#but sometimes I’m like if it could light a couple of fires! or help some kids even think of doing the reading as a real choice they HAVE#i also tell them that it’s a skill like any other and they can get better at it.#idk. So much of my job is also just telling them why they should. why they CAN. why their lives will be better if they do#there’s a senior girl who started listening to the audiobook every night when we were reading Emma and she started taking notes#and she’s started to flourish!!! Like you can tell she enjoys it and she’s so much happier with her time#and you guys I just love to see it so. much.#Anyway sorry for all the text posts it’s Saturday and therefore time for weekly processing#this has been#4 text posts in a row with Maria#teaching tag
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Tag drop: Jingliu
#tag drop#jingliu. [ and so i wield my blade to the very end. until the “stars” have been cut down from the sky. this oath: i will never forsake. ]#jingliu: ic. [ trapped in childhood nightmares; she tore off a spread of black silk from the edge of her skirt and covered her eyes. ]#jingliu: inquiries. [ ice waves as sharp as knives spreading like transient flowers in the air. freezing all and everyone they contact. ]#jingliu: countenance. [ when you live to be a thousand years. each day is carrying the weight of a mountain through an interminable maze. ]#jingliu: introspection. [ why do you wield a sword? / this is like asking a poet why they wrote poems. this is the only way for me. ]#jingliu: meta. [ this sword in my hand... naught but a needle compared with the heavenly bodies. how can i use it to cut open a star? ]#jingliu: little notes. [ this is the first time she understands “wanting to live”. before now; she was simply someone ready to die. ]#jingliu: wishes. [ unsheathing this sword without merit is to blaspheme the divine will of the reignbow arbiter; and invite calamity. ]#jingliu: etc. [ to the xianzhou; i am but an abandoned pawn: a wandering swordmaster. ]#jingliu: the sword. [ if a day comes that the quivers run empty; and starskiffs crash who will protect you and i then; or the xianzhou? ]#jingliu: florephemeral sword. [ a sword: 3 feet; 7 inches in length. weighing nothing. and it glowed as if a sliver of moonlight. ]#jingliu: shattered sword. [ a sword: 5 feet in length. weighing 3000 catties. unyielding: mirroring the defiance; hubris of its creator. ]#jingliu: cangchang. [ when devoured; we had to face the truth that our lives were but a grain of sand in the river of time. ]#jingliu: hcq. [ their faces still linger before my eyes like a bygone dream. yet dream will eventually fade. like clouds from the sky. ]#jingliu: memories. [ given the choice between staring at the abyss with a troubled mind and marching blindly: i choose the latter. ]#jingliu: jing yuan. [ in an endless night; there is nothing closer than the bright moon. always hanging in the sky. ]#jingliu: imbibitor lunae. [ even after your rebirth. your techniques haven't changed. / when i move it's like… / … like you never forgot. ]#jingliu: baiheng. [ the things that we said and did together have all been shrouded in a layer of mist. a mist i cannot see through. ]#jingliu: yingxing. [ some are born with unparalleled foresight; intelligence; but make the ill-advised choices at destiny's crossroads. ]#jingliu: blade. [ that broken sword... you don't want to let go of the past. do you; blade? ]#jingliu: yanqing. [ that move was a token of my appreciation; young man. we were fated to meet this day and in days to come. ]#jingliu: v. youth. [ you can use this to vanquish those that took everything from us. ]#jingliu: v. sword champion. [ she knows it all. swords are a part of her body: the intake and release of her breath as she walks. ]#jingliu: v. traitor. [ and i will suffer my eternal punishment. that is the only way to keep the memory of the pain from fading away. ]
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posting selfies because it’s been a hot minute since i showed my face on here and i have short(er) hair now! 🍄
this was at a folk music festival on the weekend that i’ve been going to with my family since before i was a year old. i got to take a new friend this year and it was so wonderful. a beautiful day with beautiful music, art, and people.
this festival is a much smaller one and has struggled in recent years to stay afloat, it runs at a deficit essentially, and is kept going by the community and dedicated volunteers for whom it is a labour of love. i love to see the effort put in to make it a safe, welcoming, accepting atmosphere to celebrate talented (mostly local) artists. 🎶
#right at the enterance they had one of those signs that are like#‘WE BELIEVE Black Lives Matter no human is illegal Love is Love Women’s Rights are Human Rights science is real water is life’#‘and injustice anywhere is injustice everywhere’#inside the festival there were multiple Pride themed booths either set up by local queer artists as vendors#or a youth outreach program that was giving out all sorts of flags#the first performing group on the main stage in the morning added a line into one of their songs about coming together#and combating cruelty and injustice that referenced All Eyes on Rafah and several other current struggles#and the last main stage performer of the night that we stayed for sang a song called ‘Elliot’s Song’#about her trans nephew who she took in when he was kicked out by his parents and how much he opened her heart and changed her life#it made me cry and my friend bought one of her CDs and she signed it for them#all this to basically say it’s a place i’m so comfortable and something i’m so proud of#it haven’t been able to go every year of my life but it has still brought me almost two decades of joy#god i’ve been chatty the last two days#personal#my face#live local music my beloved#folk music my beloved#queer#wlw
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YOU’LL NEVER GET AWAY FROM THE SOUND OF THE WORLD WOMAN WHO LOVES YOU (was i just a fool?) I’LL FOLLOW YOU DOWN ‘TILL THE SOUND OF MY VOICE WILL HAUNT YOU (give me just a chance) YOU’LL NEVER GET AWAY (never get away) FROM THE SOUND OF THE WOMAN WHO LOVES YOU!!
#are you guys HEARING THIS!??#no like REALLY HEARING THIS!?!#lives were changed after the live vers of silver springs in 1997#if u saw this last night. no you didn’t#I didn’t think I posted it#fleetwood mac#stevie nicks#silver springs#paige talks#my biggest hits!
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#Having a 3.5 year gap in talking to a whole group of people I was incredibly close to and then very very abruptly#wasn't is kinda refucking me up now I'm interacting with them again#like 1 of them I wasn't super close to#but friends#and we were playing dumb 4 players chess with a couple of others#and then 2 hours after finishing for the night#and saying happy new year#haven't seen you since last year#etc etc#was just not gonna interact for closing on 4 years#like it fucked me up a lot at the time#and it's nice to be talking to that group again#but#god it's pulling a scab off#on some levels it's delightfully the same#falling back into old patterns#but also there's just these whole gaps in each others lives#and stuff we're inevitably not gonna remember#I've lived in 2 cities and worked jobs and had relationships that have changed me#I mean I've changed my whole name lmao#like#idk it's just very bittersweet and sad#especially seeing ppl in the discord user list or whatever who I still haven't dared contact#opening the DMs and seeing the last messages are happy new year stuff from that one midnight#I'm not the same they're not the same and we could have changed in each others company#silly ramble#if u saw this before I edited it no u didn't : i starte dit as a post then decided I wanted venty tags instead
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