#little repressed bisexual french

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji might be a lightweight and a painfully honest drunk, but Usopp is so careless when he drinks. Not a worry in the world. Zero anxiety. He's even more dramatic than usual and dances like everybody is watching but doesn't give a fuck. And while Sanji sits in a corner, being overly emotional, he watches Usopp acting like the idiot he is. He catches a glimpse of his carefree smile and the way his cheeks are a bit red from drinking. He notices Usopp doesn't know what to do with his hands either. The way he takes Nami to dance or starts bothering Zoro without even thinking about the consequences. He doesn't look at Sanji, but the cook can't fight the dumb smile on his face when he stares at Usopp from across the deck. He hopes nobody asks, because he knows he will tell the truth if they do.

So Sanji thinks Usopp isn't watching him, but he does. He takes little glances at Sanji without him noticing. He likes the red on his whole body and the way he laughs at everything Robin says, even if it's not funny at all and just probably dark. He likes the way he holds his glass of wine, with both hands, as if somebody might take it away from him. He looks silly. Without realizing he isn't covering his laughter the way he always does and talking a bit too loud. Usopp likes this Sanji because he's honest, with himself, he means. And it's not like Usopp is going to approach him just like that, he still has some common sense even when drunk, but he lets his usual stare last longer than usual. He lets himself get lost in Sanji's eye. And somehow, on these nights, it is even brighter than usual.

At the end of the night, everybody goes to sleep, but Usopp doesn't like it. He isn't fond of his headache the second his body hits the bed and needs to sober up a little before actually trying to sleep. He isn't Zoro. Besides, Sanji is still there, curled up on the floor, in a corner of the ship, sipping on an empty wine bottle and hoping for more alcohol to come out. He looks tired and a bit nostalgic. When nobody's looking (or so he thinks) he seems... Sad. And perhaps that's what being honest with himself also means.

Usopp's shame, at this point of the night, has disappeared completely. And he still has some cocktails and beers on his body to not care about what he's doing. Especially since they're... All alone. On deck. Under the stars. He's starting to feel a bit dizzy, even if Sanji is only paying attention to the waves cradling the ship and nothing else.

With a nonchalant, quick move, before Sanji can even notice he's there, Usopp sits right next to him and rests his arm over the blond's shoulders. It doesn't perturb him in the slightest, Sanji just leans closer to him absentmindedly and Usopp feels that saying: "Hey, man." Trying to sound flirtatious has failed because his voice falters the second Sanji's head brushes his cheek. Maybe he was going for the shoulder.

But Sanji doesn't seem to notice or care about it, and Usopp's self-confidence comes back because the dizziness is enough to make him forget within seconds. Besides, Sanji seems too out of it to notice Usopp can't speak properly. His words are not connecting to his brain. Or mouth. Or maybe his brain doesn't control his throat. Whatever- He- he can't think. It's okay. Sanji is cute.

He doesn't expect the cook to have such a shitty balance, but he ends up falling on Usopp's lap, resting his head on his legs instead of his shoulders. Usopp's heart skips a beat, and it takes his breath away for a few seconds. It seems like an eternity. He's not choking, but damn, he does feel like it for a while. He probably will if he keeps staring at Sanji (drunk and red and bright and dizzy and pouting in the most adorable of ways) right on top of his legs.

The blond doesn't pay much attention to him, and Usopp guesses he might've forgotten he's the one there. But then, Sanji speaks, holding the bottle tighter to his chest and trying to squint his eyes at the hole. Perhaps that way he might be able to see the bottom of it. "Somebody- Someone- Uh- No wine."

Usopp frowns, but chuckles at the way Sanji slurs his voice. "What're you talkin' 'bout?"

And suddenly, Sanji feels like he's about to start crying. "Somebody drank my wine..."

He pouts, about to place the bottle on top of his eye. Usopp takes it away from him before he can do something stupid. "You-" He can't hold back his laughter when Sanji tries to reach out for the bottle and manages to place it to his side where Sanji can't see. He will forget about it in seconds. "You drank it."

Sanji frowns as if thinking about it, a bit offended by the statement. "I did not I- I didn't... I didn't drunk."

"Drink."

"Huh?" He makes the funniest of faces. Usopp notices his tie is messy and his aquamarine shirt is unbuttoned to the point of his collarbone being a bit visible if Usopp tries to look at it. He wants to bury his head there.

He shakes the thought away to respond. "You mean drink, you didn't-" But Sanji isn't even processing his words, because he keeps getting lost at something on top of Usopp's head. Idiot. Idiot. My idiot. He wishes. "Actually, you did drink. So. Uh- Doesn't matter."

Sanji hums under his breath and finds one loose strand of Usopp's hair that rests on his shoulder and falls on his chest. Sanji takes it in his hand and starts playing with it. He almost looks like a cat, although Usopp has always said he's more of a dog person. Maybe. In reality, Sanji isn't either of them. The guy likes rats. Fucking- Fucking rats. It's something precious to Usopp, because Sanji has only told him. Or so he said.

The sniper stares down at Sanji, who keeps getting lost between the strand of hair and the buckle of Usopp's new overalls. Tapping on the metal every now and then. It seems fun for him, so Usopp doesn't say anything. The weight of Sanji's body over him grounds him more, he figures, because he's still dizzy but he certainly can think better than Sanji. His mind might not be connecting the words correctly but... But he can think. Kind of. Better than he usually does when Sanji is around, at least.

His eyes travel to Sanji's bangs, covering his right- Left? Usopp's left. Sanji's right. He thinks. Yeah. Because the eye he can see is deep blue, and that's Sanji's left. The other one is clearer, with green undertones. He knows this because he remembers thinking it looked like seaweed once. Sanji almost hit him when he said so, but it was a compliment. Idiot.

It's a shame it's covered, he thinks, and before he can process his actions, his hand moves on his own to move the bangs out of the way. Usopp rests his hand on top of Sanji's head, staring intensely at his eyebrows. The sniper doesn't smile like he usually does, because he finds them extremely cute. This time, Sanji just looks... "You look handsome like this." Oh. Saying out loud stuff he doesn't intend to now, huh?

Sanji doesn't blush and runs away the way he would've probably done sober. Instead, he starts laughing like a lunatic, as if Usopp had told the funniest joke of the night. But it's not- He's not laughing at Usopp or even at himself. It's a smile of pure joy. It barely is a laugh, though. He's giggling. Usopp just hears it louder. Sanji's voice always resonates louder in his heart. "You look handsome every day." He says, out of breath, blushing and never looking away from Usopp.

Normally, the sniper would go into cardiac arrest for something like this. Now? He just wants to hold Sanji closer and never let go. After a few seconds of staring at each other, Sanji resumes his laughing. Usopp thinks he's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. "You're-" Suddenly, he can feel the grass under them everywhere. He wishes he could do the same with Sanji. Feel him everywhere. All the time. In his skin. Inside. His heart. "You're so regretting this tomorrow. Idiot."

Because he knows Sanji won't like it when he wakes up. The flirting. The touching. He won't do it then. He hides in between bottles of wine and starry nights. And he's painfully honest, but it's better than sober lies.

Sanji doesn't seem like he's listening to him, though, as he keeps playing with his hair. He leans his head closer to Usopp's stomach. "Did you like the cocktails?" He asks, his voice muffled by Usopp's body and one of his arms moving to hold Usopp's waist closer.

Usopp wishes he could have this every day and not whenever Luffy says it's time to party for no reason at all.

But it's nice. It's warm. Usopp can have this tonight.

He gets hold of Sanji's cheeks with only one of his hands and squeezes slightly, making him look up at his eyes. "How could I not?" And he decides to rest his palm in between Sanji's chin and neck. Sanji looks a bit lost. Usopp thinks he does too, probably. He sighs. "Everything you make is good." It's something he always says, but never in this way.

Never wanting to reach out and kiss him. Never actually considering to do so.

The cook does something he isn't expecting, though. He grins. A huge smile decorating his face. And it grows, ever so slowly, until it turns into the brightest of expressions Usopp has ever seen. Sanji's hand grips on his waist, as if he was holding back an excited scream. "Used your favorite fruits!" He turns his head to the side to kiss Usopp's palm. "I like thinkin' 'bout you when I cook."

He thinks about how easy it would be to kiss him now.

But Usopp only smiles back at him.

No amount of alcohol can take out of him the fear of Sanji pushing him away.

[delightfulkingtyphoon]

Hi 😀

I'm going to share with you guys some headcanons I have of my dear, beautiful and wonderful princess Daniel Robitaille :3 (aka. Candyman)

❗Remembering❗

Everything I say here is my interpretations of the character and >>my<< headcanons about him. If you have another interpretation, agree or disagree, you are free to share your opinion in the comments 👍

Let's start

✿~Favorite hobbies, skills and talents

• Daniel Robitaille is a talented and very detailed artist. He always seeks to do the best in his paintings. He likes to put passion into everything he does.

He has loved painting since he was young, which is why he studied at the best schools of his time to create magnificent works. He enjoys learning and applying new techniques to his arts.

• In addition of learning the best painting techniques, he also learned to behave like a polite gentleman in the society, learning to dance, speak several languages and play an instrument.

Not that he needed to prove something to someone, but to challenge himself. He likes to learn new things.

• He knows how to lead a waltz like no one else. He is a gentleman from the 19th century, and at that time, if you wanted to conquer and impress the most beautiful women in the ballroom, you needed to know how to dance. And Daniel is the best in terms of charm and elegance when dancing.

• He is bilingual, knowing how to speak French perfectly and a little bit of German. He knows how to speak other languages such as Greek and Spanish, but due to lack of practice, he remembers very little of the lessons from his time.

• One of his favorite hobbies, besides painting, is literature. He loves romance and poetry books. His favorite type of romance is those that end in tragedy. For him, there is something poetic about death and love. If you mix the two in the right amount, it's a perfect dramatic love story.

• He was taught to play instruments such as piano and violin, but he was not very interested in learning that. He is more of a listener than a musician.

• He loved going to concerts and theaters when he was alive, his favorite type of music is serene, sweet as honey. And his favorite type of theater plays are mainly dramas. But he loves a good comedy.

✿~Favorite foods and colors

• Daniel Robitaille loves good food (and who doesn't, right?) He loves roast meats, savory pies, cakes and any type of sweet.

• He loves shortbread cookies accompanied by good coffee sweetened with honey. After all, he loves sweets and sugary things.

• His favorite type of sweet pie is lemon or cherry. He loves chocolate and strawberry cakes.

• He is also a fan of good wine. He likes the ones that don't have a very strong flavor more.

• He loves colors like yellow or red (he looks good in red.)

✿~Love, sexuality and relationships (and a little of lore)

• Daniel Robitaille was and IS a very charming, seductive and charismatic man. So much charm that he could have the most beautiful girls he wanted... And the most beautiful men too.

Daniel has been interested in many women of his time, even men, but he can never date or seem interested in any man, oh no. Never!

It was a difficult time for a black person, imagine a black and queer person. Bisexuality was something abominable in those times. Many desires were repressed, forcing him to hide in the shadows. But he found safety in the lips of his beautiful muse and beloved Caroline.

• Daniel loved Caroline like he never had before. His passionate young heart was emotional, and full of affection. The two loved each other very much and swore their love every day and night. For him and Caroline, their love was strong and not even that prejudiced society could separate them. Even after their deaths.

• Daniel after spending years wandering throughout the afterlife like a ghost, waiting for someone to summon him again, he found a shelter in the underworld so he could rest while waiting to be called again. There, he sympathized with a hideous demonic creature not receptive or pleasing to people's eyes, but to his, he was the most beautiful in all of hell. The Hell Priest Pinhead

• It took a while for the cenobite's heart to soften, but he was unable to resist Daniel's charms. The two fell in love and live off the pleasure of each other's love, the comfort in each other's arms. Daniel loves his beloved Pinhead intensely, just as he loves him just as much. Intense, pleasurable.

• Daniel can finally explore his sexuality, discovering new things about his own body and mind. Feeling and satiating every bit of what Pinhead had to offer him. Intensifying the love he felt for Pinhead and his pleasures. He loved him. He loved him so much that he chose to remain in hell with his beloved for all eternity. Even if someone summoned him again, and he went to the world of the living, he would always return to his beloved.

Bonus:

✿~Other things he likes

• Daniel loves cats. He always wanted to have cats when he was alive, that's his favorite type of animal. He acts tame when around kittens, always wanting to pet them and play with them.

• He also really likes birds, he likes to hear their serene singing when he is in the world of the living.

• He also likes butterflies, they are his favorite insect. He likes how their wings are colorful and have different patterns. It gives him a lot of inspiration to paint when he see one flying.

• He doesn't get along very well with dogs, they are too noisy and agitated for him, so he avoids them.

• He loves flowers, all kinds of flowers. He likes their colors, their smells. They are all beautiful to him. Red roses, lilies, hyacinths and chrysanthemums are his favorites.

.

.

.

End of Headcanons (for now)

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hello there! I’m here to send in a matchup! so I hope you don’t mind anyways 나 자신에 대해 말해줄게!

Fandom: I’d like a romantic male matchup for Jujustu Kaisen and MHA also I’m fine with a poly relationship too! My name is Joey but I also go by Himawari, Rin or Magtanggol too! I’m Transgender (ftm), Aromatic, Unlabled, & Bisexual, I’ve been diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, BPD & OCD and im white, arab, flipino, scottish & russian.

personality traits (and notes): extroverted, at first awkward shy and distant when meeting people, extremely independent, when comfortable I talk about a lot of stuff for hours, loud talker, emotions come off as sarcastic or silly (due to autism), confident, straightforward (I have a urge to correct someone of faulty information), uses “big” words, good sense of humor, playful, entertaining, optimistic, mischievous, curious(I’m nosy and I love gossip), i can be a rule breaker(sometimes I don’t mean to), doesn’t shy away from conflict (a but combative with authority when people don’t know what they’re doing), dad/tharapist friend, when I go out I bring water bottles, first aid kit, chapstick(s) just in case, chill but some people would say I have some “repressed anger issues”, I get a realllyyy overractive Brain, I tend to get deep and philosophical when I’m left on my own for to long, I can be verbally aggressive when prevoked, I have a hard time taking everything seriously, coke and a little mean when upset at someone and a fun fact is that I can eat the most spiciest foods and not have a problem with it.

hobbies: anime/manga, gaming, anthropology, pathology, zoology, music (I’m a vocaloid producer, i make odecore/scenecore music and I make music like ATARASHII GAKKO too), dancing, filmmaking, art (drawing, painting, pottery, digital art, etc), learning different instruments/languages, cosplaying, skateboarding, tabletop RPG’s, taking pictures of things that I think are pretty, collecting figurines/stuffed animals and puppetry, science/history, soccer/volleyball/basketball and swim, cooking/baking, art is definitely my main hobby I dedicate a lot of time to it

likes: vocaloid/utau, iced coffee, boba tea, bread, sharks, cats, piercings/tattoos(I wanna get some tattoos!), cold weather, christmas, musicals, cleaning, rhythm games, being with my friends, shopping, mint candles, sweet and spicy food, deserts.

dislikes: spiders, bitter food, nasty scents, hot weather, manipulation, toxic people, having to be responsible for others to much(I tend to look down on/clash with people who are overly insecure), people who don't talk with me a lot, feeling restricted, and over-possessiveness

I'm a ENTP, 4w3 and a Aquarius

misc: accidentally misused slang or phrases bc I can't remember how they usually go (e.g. "bust this popsicle stand" instead of "blow this popsicle stand"), able to eland and pick up skills very quickly, i know 6 languages (Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Arabic, Polish & French), i play the piano, bass /electric guitar and cello, prone to be a bit directionless in life, tries to find comfort and humor in hard times, not to take life to seriously, and obsess over the past

appearance /aesthetic: 5'6 / 167.64 cm, midsize, rectangular body shape, i have a masculine and feminine face (somehow), dimple on chin, hazel eyes, wears glasses, dyed black boy hair, lots of piercings, no tattoos(I need some), for style, i wear a lot suck as goth (trad goth, romantic goth, mall goth, cyber goth, and victorian goth), gyaru (hime gal, himekaji, agejo, rokku, manba, banba, kogal, tsuyome, and kigurumi), scenemo/emo, & vkei ouji and lolita, i wear streetwear clothes mostly at home/school/work, i wear fishnets and combat boats, but I also wear Y2K and I also dress in alternative clothing a LOT.

thank you and have a nice day!

(Hello I really hope you enjoy this, have a nice day/night!)

I match you with:

Itadori Yuji

- Due to his kind personality you’ll warm up to him quickly. When he realizes that you’re being shy he makes sure to not overwhelm you when you get to know him.

- He was shocked the first time you were verbally aggressive to someone but the shock didn’t last for long. He thinks it’s admirable to stand up for yourself.

- Sets up a contest for you, him, Megumi, and Nobara on who can eat the most spiciest food in a certain amount of time. You would probably win but Itadori would be in second place.

- You guys often binge watch animes or play games together.

- He thinks it’s really cool that you are a vocaloid producer and that you know so many languages, (y’all sometimes listen to your music while hanging out)

- He really likes to listen to you talk about all of your interests. He’s a good listener and remembers majority of what you say.

- Whenever it snows outside you guys will have intense snow fights. He’s really fast so good luck on winning.

- After he’s exhausted from all the training, the water bottles you bring are helpful to cool him off.

- When you are upset he’ll gift you some of your favorite things/drinks and try to cook/bake your favorite treats.

- He asks you to take a picture of you and him so that he can print it out and put it on his wall (or desk if he even has one)

- He loves your collections and art. He would want to try pottery out and try to make something.

Denki Kaminari

- He can be a bit loud sometimes and if you’re overwhelmed at first when meeting him he’ll tone it down a bit until you get warmed up to him.

- He admires your independence and hopes to be as independent as you.

- If someone provokes you and you’re being verbally aggressive to the person he would be on the sidelines hyping you up.

- If he reads a Manga that you also read and he doesn’t understand some of the storyline or anything he’ll go to you and see if you know about it.

- When he was first learning guitar, he goes to you for some tips.

- He introduces you to a lot of his friends (like Bakugou, Kirishima, Mina, Jiro, Sero, etc) he thinks y’all will get along really well.

- You guys are like a comedic duo in the classroom. Sometimes you guys pull pranks on some of your friends. One time he asked you to teach him some insults in some of the languages you know and y’all were making fun of Bakugou in front of his face while laughing y’all asses off.

- Whenever you’re upset and/or crying he tries to cheer you up the best he can by making you laugh.

- Teaches you the newest slang and phrases.

- You guys sometimes bake together during the holidays and it becomes a mess because he decides to stick his finger into the batter and put it on your face, causing a war.

Masterlist

[historiavn]

AUGUSTIN GILES ANDRÉ

THE VIOLINIST

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀UNIVERSE :     Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀CLASSIFICATION  :    Original Character

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀CASTED WITH  :      Luke Newton

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀AVAILABLE CROSSOVERS :      This muse can be written in any fandom, universe, or time period!

━━━━┅━━     001. ⠀ ⠀BASIC FACTS

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀ NAME  :      Augustin Giles André

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀ ALIAS(ES)  :      _

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀TITLE(S)  :      -

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀PRONOUNS  :      He / Him / His

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀SEXUALITY  :      Biromantic Bisexual

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀HOMETOWN  :      Paris, France

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀RESIDENCE  :      Paris, France

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀ LANGUAGE(S)  :      English, French, Italian, German, Spanish.

━━━━┅━━ ⠀ ⠀ 002. ⠀ ⠀ DEMEANOR

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀ASTROLOGICAL PLACEMENTS    :      Pisces Sun, Capricorn Moon, Leo Rising.

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀CHARACTER TRAITS  :

He has a heart of gold, but is nevertheless driven by logic rather than emotion.

Skeptic when it comes to spirituality and the paranormal.

Tends to repress his anger; uses music to work through and process his emotions.

Charming and extroverted when in social situations.

Loyal to loved ones, even to the point of martyrdom.

Selfless, generous, and altruistic.

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀MOST SIMILAR TO  :    Nick Young (Crazy Rich Asians), Iroh (Avatar: The Last Airbender), Theodore Laurence (Little Women), Charles Bingley (Pride and Prejudice), Marius Pontmercy (Les Misérables), Horatio (Hamlet), Robert Crawley (Downton Abbey).

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀HOBBIES  :      Playing the Violin, Reading, Swordsmanship, Music Composition, Playing the Piano, Painting, Singing.

╭      ⁞ ❏. ⠀INTERESTS  :   Music, Literature, Poetry, Philosophy, Opera.

━━━━┅━━ ⠀ ⠀ 003. ⠀ ⠀ BACKGROUND

→ ⠀ Only child born to Monsieur Giles André and Catherine Valois; his mother perished in childbirth, leaving Giles the task of raising the boy alone.

→ ⠀ Began learning the violin at age four; considered an international prodigy by age sixteen due to media publicizing his performances for Queen Victoria and President Grant.

→ ⠀ Attended university at the Royal Academy of Music.

━━━━┅━━ ⠀ ⠀ 004. ⠀ ⠀ HEADCANONS

→ ⠀ ⠀ -

→ ⠀ ⠀ -

→ ⠀ ⠀-

━━━━┅━━ ⠀ ⠀ 005. ⠀ ⠀ UNIVERSES

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA ⠀ ⠀(Canonical Timeline)

→ ⠀ ⠀ When Monsieur André and Monsieur Firmin gain joint management of the Opera Populaire, Monsieur André’s only son — Augustin André, the internationally acclaimed violin prodigy currently twenty-one-years of age — joins the Opera Populaire as the pit orchestra’s concertmaster violinist. What begins as an ordinary advancement in his career, however, soon goes awry as the mysterious “Phantom of the Opera” begins interfering in the Opera House’s affairs. Caught up in the chaos of it all, Augustin strives to avoid acquiring the Phantom’s ire lest he become collateral damage, but will he truly manage to escape unscathed?

WIZARDING WORLD ⠀ ⠀(Crossover Timeline)

→ ⠀ ⠀Work In Progress

MODERN ⠀ ⠀(Alternate Timeline)

→ ⠀ ⠀Work In Progress

[chimairasden]

Meet: Beulah 🌒

From Moonlight Lovers! | For the picture I used this picrew.

🌒

Definition: The Achiever Age: ∓ 250 years Species: Vampire Likes: gambling, pressed flowers, reading the newspaper Hates: empty rooms, housework, touch-screen phones

🌒

Full name: Beulah Debois, née David AKA: Églantine (by my other OCs), la Comtesse (by Vladimir and Raphael), Mircalla (by everyone), Notre-Dame de Bon-Secours (by Beliath and Ethan) Pronouns: She/her

Birthday: April 7 Sign: Aries

Height: 5 ft 5 Hair colour: cherry red Eye colour: light brown

Story: Born in the eighteenth century in a hebrew family, Beulah lived the tumultuous time of the French Revolution and the repression of the Reign of Terror.  She and her lover received a death sentence for corruption but, while the man was executed, Beulah managed to escape and, thanks to the apparition of a dark creature who turned her into a vampire, to achieve eternal freedom.  After wandering in Europe for some centuries, she decided to settle in the Manor right after Vladimir. From this point her story follows the game's main canon events as a possible LI and not as the MC. A more detailed post will be published soon.

Gender & Sexuality: Beluah is a trans* bisexual woman. She has always been in monogamous relationships, but at the moment she prefers one night stands over exploring other types of intimacy.

🌒

Relationships with the canon LIs:

Aaron: her housemate and friend-with-benefits. They have aknowledged their mutual attraction for some times but agreed to keep this relationship casual. None of them is ready for let themself and their past go. Maybe, in an another universe... Possible LI.

Beliath: her housemate and friend. The party animal is the one Beulah hangs out with the most but no one understands why, and no one asks. 

Ethan: her housemate and friend. They don't always get along, but Beulah tolerates his witty remarks and Ethan respects her. The only moment they seriously fight it's when they have different visions on Judaism.

Ivan: her housemate. The young vampire is too scared of himself and the older vampire is not «interested in this kind of education» to have a civil conversation with him.

Neil: her secret. Beulah believes that the dark creature who turned her is Neil, so she is waiting his full recovery to question him and eventually reunite with him. Wherever the truth lies, Neil is taking advantage of Beulah's devotion and protection. Possible LI.

Raphael: her housemate. Beulah sees all she despises of herself in him and Raphael knows it and enjoys teasing her.

Vladimir: her housemate and accomplice. They usually have tea, chit-chats and discussions about the gestion of the Manor, but their strong bond is mainly built on protecting Neil's secret.

Relationships with other people:

Eloise: her housemate and friend. At first very annoyed by her appearance, Beulah avoided Eloise for the most of time and, if obliged, acted politely cold towards her. Now you can see them going to Moondance, playing the piano and chilling near the fireplace together.

Farah: her acquaintance. Beulah knows a lot about her from Aaron's words and totally understands her charm. She would love getting closer with her. Possible LI.

Leandra: her friendly acquaintance. Before Eloise's appearance, Beulah missed having another girl at the Manor and Leandra's visits were always appreciated.

🌒

Trivia:

She bought the Countess title “as a little threat”;

She doesn't have exactly the green thumb and kills any plant given her;

Since all the OCs I created for Beemov Games has their name finishing in -ine, I gave her the Églantine alias to respect the pattern.

🌒🌒🌒

If you want to compare, you can find an old version of her card here 🌻

[isthisyoursnack]

about me // bios * update

“tips french but shrugs at tradition”

Small new world sparrow

If you ever need extra fingernails I have some in my front overall pocket

patron saint of scissors ✂️

suckled on a costco mattress 

the ­unexpected and yet not outlandish adjective you were looking for

“Yeah but she can’t play she’s punished” 

“actually i’m quite replaceable”

but i’m a special & demanding pony 

Priestess of spaciousness  

shapeshifter; debutante 

More mayonnaise than you could imayogine

fledging herbalist 

Useless as well as charming

very good candied 

can be eaten plain, or used in buttercreams for some very interesting dacquoises

here’s the thing about me. i have a lot of great ideas. none of them will make me successful or famous. 

roly poly little slut who needs a lot of attention 

deep sea worrier

Multi-disc 

gremlin who wants to win

mayonnaise disciple 

pillo princess brat not trynna be tamed, but pleasured & nurtured 

aquari-yum

Pretty pretty princess meets dionetics — sam rac 

"pastry of heathenish form"

Bebop

Informal but elegant 

saucisse cocktail 

vénusienne

huntress-gatheress 

abso need a pleather short skirt 

wildly beautiful from certain angles 

cuntry mouse 

more eve than joan 

genuine freshwater pear, undrilled, unpolished. rough pearl, some may be ugly look like broken. Be careful !

repressed but not subtle 

disco mouse 🪩 🐭 

late; charming 

late; worth it

Jessa rising 💫hannah sun 🍒shosh moon 🪡

bath scientist 

bicoastal bisexual 

skilled at ordering pants on the internet 

[qqueenofhades]

20+ Books That You (Might Actually Want) To Read During Pride Month!

Right, so. I got annoyed after seeing the list referenced in this post last night, told myself that my books are all packed up so I couldn’t do anything about it, and lasted all of a whopping 10 minutes before picking up my phone and attempting to make my own list instead. Behold, my from-memory attempt to present 20 books with strong LGBTQ plots, characters, and/or authors, that DON’T just rely on Suffering and Identity Politics and are... you know... fun.

Listed in alphabetical order by title. Links take you to Bookshop.org, where you can buy them from your local independent bookstore at a discount and NOT from the evil empire.

1. A Master of Djinn – P. Djeli Clark * author of color * steampunk Cairo in 1912 * djinn! magic! murder mystery! * butch Arab lesbian main character * devout hijabi Muslim badass assistant * anticolonial alternate history

2. An Accident of Stars – Foz Meadows (Sequel: A Tyranny of Queens) * trans author * bi, pan, trans, aro representation * racially diverse characters * all female POV characters * high-fantasy world adventures

3. Boyfriend Material – Alexis Hall * queer author * look I love this book SO MUCH and have absolutely screamed about it before but also I LOVE IT SO MUCH * contemporary M/M fake dating in modern London, complete with full cast of disaster found-family queer friends * it is. fucking. HILARIOUS. I almost died the first time reading it * there is a sequel called HUSBAND MATERIAL scheduled to be released in 2022; I am a normal amount of excited for this book

4. Gideon the Ninth – Tamsyn Muir (Sequel: Harrow the Ninth) * the book cover says “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted palace in space!” * that is exactly what you get * slow-burn enemies-to-lovers F/F main romance * I cannot describe this book, it is dark, genre-bendy, science fiction-y, Hunger-Games-with-lesbian-necromancers-in space? Kinda? I have literally never read anything like it * also fucking HILARIOUS

5. One Last Stop – Casey McQuiston * queer author (who wrote Red White and Royal Blue) * bisexual fat girl from the South/lesbian-daughter-of-Chinese immigrants from the 1970s-riot-grrl main romance * time traveling mystery involving the Q train in Brooklyn (mentions Brighton Beach ahem) * magical realism * many more found-family chaotic queers including a trans Latino psychic and a Black accountant by day/drag queen by night and the mean little gay disaster who has a hopeless crush on them

6. Parasol Protectorate (series) – Gail Carriger * this is one of my favorite series, and there are five books: Soulless, Changeless, Blameless, Heartless, and Timeless * steampunk vampires/werewolves late Victorian London, like Jane Austen crossed with P.G. Wodehouse (they are all fucking hilarious) * pretty much everyone is queer; we got your flamboyantly camp gay vampires (Lord Akeldama ftw!) We got your gay werewolves! We got your lesbian French inventors! We got your big disaster idiot werewolf main male love interest! We got your crazy adventures! You name it we got it! * two spin-off novellas: Romancing the Werewolf (M/M) and Romancing the Inventor (F/F) * she has a ton more books in this same universe and writes sexy queer supernatural romance as G.L. Carriger

7. Plain Bad Heroines – Emily M. Danforth * queer author * historical horror-comedy set between a haunted girls’ school in early-1900s New England and in the modern day * all sapphic female main characters * plays with style/form/voice, a story within a story within a story

8. Red White and Royal Blue – Casey McQuiston * you’ve probably heard of it but here I am reccing it again * the biracial son of the first female POTUS falls in love with the Prince of England; shenanigans absolutely ensue * yes, the British monarchy still absolutely sucks a big fat dick * hilarious, heartfelt, reads like fanfic, just go get it, it will change your life

9. Rosaline Palmer Takes The Cake – Alexis Hall * same author as Boyfriend Material, this is his newest * bisexual female protagonist * absolutely perfect satire of The Great British Bake Off (you can tell this man has watched EVERY SINGLE SERIES and all of the holiday specials) * sweet and surprisingly thoughtful

10. Starless – Jacqueline Carey * genderqueer/transmasculine main character of color * almost all main characters are brown people! * lush Middle Eastern/India-inspired fantasy world * gods, prophecies, monsters * the best Oh God Why Me I Am A Horrible Mentor wise-old-mentor

11. The Future of Another Timeline – Annalee Newitz * nonbinary (they/them) author * time travel but make it The Handmaid’s Tale * will probably make your head explode * feminist, queer, subversive * diverse characters

12. The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue – Mackenzi Lee * queer author * technically YA but historical/magical adventure set in the 1700s * bisexual disaster main protagonist and love interest of color * (mis)adventures across Europe * has a sequel (see below) with the badass asexual sister of the protagonist

13. The Hate Project – Kris Ripper * nonbinary/genderqueer author * M/M enemies to lovers/sex with no strings attached (spoiler alert: strings attached) * HECKING HILARIOUS * sweet, escapist, and very low stakes * diverse characters, including fat protagonist with realistic anxiety disorder

14. The Lady's Guide to Petticoats and Piracy – Mackenzi Lee * PIRATES, obviously * sequel to Gentleman’s Guide * asexual female protagonist * strong queerplatonic f/f friendship * more historical/magical 18th century adventures

15. The Last Rune (series) – Mark Anthony * Imma be real with you chief, I haven’t read this series since I was a clueless teenager with no idea why I liked Gay Stuff so much, so if it does turn out to suck now, don’t throw rotten veggies at me * but especially since it was written in the NINETIES, this series was hella progressive?! * gay characters, disabled characters, characters of color, all playing significant and heroic roles in six-book epic fantasy cycle * people from Earth end up in high-fantasy world of Eldh * endgame M/M romance for the main character * books out of print, I think, but you can find them cheap somewhere like AbeBooks; first one (Beyond the Pale) linked above

16. The Library of the Unwritten – A.J. Hackwith * queer author * heaven-hell-Valhalla supernatural adventures * The Good Place x Good Omens x Lucifer x The Librarians * Pansexual Black badass female heroine * Queer found families * The Sassiest TM Bisexual Villain Turned Reluctant Hero (is he my favorite? Why on earth would you think that.)

17. The Priory of the Orange Tree – Samantha Shannon * epic doorstopper science fiction/historical fantasy set in a vaguely 16th-century world * main F/F romance between a queen and her sorceress bodyguard * sassy old gay alchemist whose backstory will give you Feelings * so many strong women and characters of color * no homophobia! marriage is fully gender-neutral, spouses are called “companions”

18. The Song of Achilles – Madeline Miller * likewise one you have probably heard of but still * a little light on the myth/historical part imho, but the writing is beautiful and will give you many feelings * M/M romance between Achilles and Patroclus  * reimagining of The Iliad (her other book Circe is also really good)

19 The Stars are Legion – Kameron Hurley * all-female apocalyptic space opera * messy messy antiheroines * grimdark war fantasy * queer sci-fi drama

20. Witchmark – C.L. Polk * author of color * M/M romance * main character is a veteran and a doctor dealing with his own hidden magic and repressed war trauma * gaslamp fantasy set in a world reminiscent of post-WWI England * strong sibling relationship

[ocdhuacheng]

thee promised thots and onions:

1. Noe my boy my baby boy my best friend my little guy hes such a lad and i would do anything for him

2. I dont really like vanitas sorrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

3. DOMI IS SUCH A QUEEN okay first of all the vibes. The way shes, and i quote “popular with the girls” , and how she makes her automaton release literal roses like some shoujo manga everytime shes being a bisexyual infront of women like. legend behavior. Im obsessed with her. Bisexual queen. And her sister is super hot too but like, what a bitch come onnnnnn. Like the contrast between their ice, how veronica’s (thats her name right) was described as being super violent but when domi conjures ice its like a dance…… waagh

4. Also completely enamoured with the relationship between domi and noe, like not just in a romantic sense but like in general. Like first of all im a complete and total slut for childhood friends tropes, but also, domi’s crush on noe literally puts nothing awkward between them? And its so refreshing. Like usually when female characters have a crush on their male friends it makes them so blushy and irritating. But with domi shes just like. It issss what it isssss, like yeah i have a crush on him but before all else hes my best friend and im not going to make our relationship awkward because of this. Its just so nice. Not to mention her bisexual shenanigans with other girls. Domi really said im attracted to girls and noe ONLY. Also noe is just too dumb to notice skdfnskdjfn bless him

5. ON THE OTHER HAND………… -_- the relationship between vanitas and jeanne is so annoying and i hate it like. Vanitas literally SEXUALLY ASSAULTED HER, HARRASSED HER EVERYTIME THEY MET, AND MANIPULATED HER INTO A BLOOD DRINKING CONTRACT AND YOU ARE TRYING TO TELL ME THAT SHE STILL FALLS FOR HIM AFTER THAT???? bLOCKED AND REPORTED Like ms mochijun i love you but that is NOT THE VIBES. Like i get she has TRAUMA, and EMOTIONAL ISSUES from being a [french word for executioner that i cannot remember right now] but like. Its sooooo fucking uncomfortable i cant even enjoy all the cute jeanne moments because its all just about vanitas when he doesnt deserve to have her affection. its so forced and contrived 

6. Anyway.

7. Okay like vanitas is just. Like im pretty annoyed with him over the jeanne thing and also the things he says about domi (please note im not annoyed at the writing over him being a jerk about domi like its very in character for him to be like that its just that his character annoys me sometimes. also Vanitas really said misogyny win) like okay vanitas has his moments and i do feel for him with his backstory and i get why he is the way he is but hes just not for me ig . i just dont really care about him sooooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

8. Mr Noe meanwhile. Literally the perfect man. Tall. pretty. Is Vampire. Has Fangs. Has Claws. Gets lost. ADHD bass boosted. Excellent fashion sense that isnt actually his but domi’s (also side note domi and him playing dress up in her clothes when they were younger……. Sobbing fr)  Has to hug things while sleeping. Can’t cook. Cat person. Just a goofy little guy. Literally the kindest person you will ever meet. turning _red_awWOOGA dot gif. also If i see anyone whitewashing him its on SIGHT

9. Also murr i have to give a shout out to my little man murr. Though the fact that he and germaine teacher whats his face has the same eyes give me one fear.

10. Anyway anyone else think its weird that noe is so casual about his entire family being massacred. And like how casual and downright cheerful he is about being literally child trafficked when he was younger. Like “it was just a fun trip” honey that huge bandage covering half your face says otherwise. Like. i just feel like hes being such an unreliable narrator about his own story. Like hes giving us all the gorey details about vanitas’s trauma but he really is just brushing aside his own. It makes me think if he isnt just ptsd repressing these childhood memories himself, that ugly motherfuck “teacher” he has stole or altered them because 1) we know thats possible bc it was a real fear that vanitas had and 2) ruthven did SOMETHING to noe to make him forget that meeting they had in the cafe and 3)  like ‘teacher’ acts kind but he really was super creepy about noe and louis like he basically was observing (ex[perimenting on?) louis as if he was a lab rat, and purposefully kept noe ignorant about many important things, is specifically keeping noe with him for some unknown reasons because he has the archiviste powers, had no issue killing louis literally right infront of noe and then i dont even want to KNOW what exactly he did to mikhail like. Im going to tear that freak apart limb from limb.

11. WHYYYYYY were the archivistes all killed i need to know i need to know more about them im shaking my computer so hard rn the website says 20 days till the next update bites the bars of my cage

12. Noe please join the My Entire Clan Was Massacred Therapy Group consisting of scar fma sasuke kurapika (hbd aries king) lan sizhui wen ning etc

13. Ruthven (?) having mind control power over noe to make him do whatever he wants and noe DOESNT EVEN KNOW is so scary like……… biting my nails to nubs over this

14. The social viewing (? sorry i cant think of a better word) of blood drinking in the story… like honestly one of the most uncomfortable scenes in the story was when noe woke up in a bed without his clothes with someone on top of him drinking his blood like. Vile fr……... i dont even have to explain. Like i do like chloe but that scene really made my stomach turn ngl. And also the way vanitas sorta manipulates jeanne into drinking his blood is. Less overt than that scene but it still had some really uncomfortable implications to me like maybe im just reading into this too much and being too sensitive but just the vibes i get from blood drinking is that its a very intimate thing and well noe specifically says drinking blood without consent is a crime and like. yeah.. and Vanitas toying with jeanne like that made me so uncomfortable. this isnt a dig at the writing necessarily (ok it really is in the case of vanitas and jeanne because what he did was wrong and its just not treated as a big deal) its just an aspect of the story and characters (specifically chloe and vanitas) that i found disturbing. like on one hand you have noe who is very much aware of the consequences of non-consensual blood drinking especially from his point of view as an archiviste, and then vanitas who (granted is a human but still) was treating it as something to hold over jeanne. idk where im going with this but just some thoughts are being thunk :/

15. Some more things that made me kinda depressed…….mikhail. What a creepy child but like. You need to be wrapped up in a blanket and given a nice hot chocolate. And perhaps a little smooch on the forehead. I feel so bad for him……. Like i get he was the cause of literally all the grief in the last arc but . HES A CHILD OKAY………. I just feel awful for him. And the motherfuck teacher allowed him to hurt himself like that just for what. Like treating him as an experiment the same way he did with louis..

16. Anyway.

17. MX LUNA MX LUNAAAAAAA HIII PLEASE MARRYY MEEEEEEE

18. anyway sorry vanitas nation i just dont really like him. noe stans please call me.

19. Ok thats it for now bye

[bulletballet-arch]

REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog !    tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. I took this from Minnie’s archived Bioshock blog. I’ve been looking for this meme all this month. TAGGING. @hammurabicomplex. @bluuxriising. @ Me - for Sal on @bulletsoverbensonhurst​. @immaterialed (charlie) @soypeor (bella) @svmmercmance​. @mrflayed. and you!

BASICS. FULL  NAME :  Eve Delores Littlejohn NICKNAME : Evie, Little Evie (by her maternal side of the family), Delores, Didi NAME  MEANING / S  Eve is from the ancient Hebrew name  חַוָּה (Chawwah), which was derived from the Hebrew word חָוָה (chawah) meaning "to breathe" or the related word חָיָה (chayah) meaning "to live". Delores is a variant of Dolores, meaning "sorrows", taken from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary María de los Dolores, meaning "Mary of Sorrows." Littlejohn is a surname that has historically been found in England and Scotland. With potential origins being either ‘to distinguish a beloved child that was not the eldest.’ Or, ‘a contradictory nickname for a large man.’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? : She’s named after her grandmother, Evelyn Hollins.

AGE : 42 BIRTHDAY :  June 2 ETHNIC  GROUP : Black-American. Meaning she’s mixed with a lot (Some of her relatives are respectively Creole and Italian) but uses Black as a catch-all term. NATIONALITY :  American LANGUAGE / S : English, Italian, Spanish, Latin, some French SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Bisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  Biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : Verse dependent, usually married -or connected- to Salvatore Scozzari in some way. CLASS : Upper-Class HOME  TOWN / AREA :   Brooklyn. Spent time between Bedford-Stuyvesant - with her paternal grandfather and Park Slope - with her maternal grandparents.  CURRENT  HOME : In her childhood home in Bedford-Stuyvesant. PROFESSION : Ballet Instructor. Former Professional Ballerina. ( Other verses see her as a professional thief. )

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Black. In terms of her natural hair, Eve has springy, 3C hair she seldom shows off because she was raised in a family where straightened hair was deemed presentable and professional.  EYES : Thin almond eyes. Dark brown. NOSE : Straight and small. FACE :  She has a prominent, high forehead, that’s accented with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. LIPS :  Full. COMPLEXION : She has a light brown (tawny) complexion.  SCARS : None major. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ BUILD : Eve has a slender build. One of those people who have been small and petite since childhood. Despite this, she also stays skinny because she is obsessively conscious of the food she consumes. The older she gets the more she weighs, however. USUAL HAIR STYLE :  Her hair is cut short. Reaching her shoulders in a neat, even bob. She either curls it in a retro fashion or curls the tips. For work she wears it in a traditional, pinned bun. USUAL FACE LOOK : In public, she appears stoic for the most part. Any emotion shown (such as the length of a smile) is carefully calculated. She has to seem perfect.  USUAL  CLOTHING : Form fitting dresses. Incredibly chic and fashionable for the time. Shoes include heels - never open-toed, unless she has on stockings. Extravagant earrings. Jewelry that can include either necklaces, crosses, pearls, or dainty rings. Prone to wearing black sunglasses in public.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Thunderstorms, airplanes, creatures like weasels, snakes and ferrets, break-ins, men she doesn’t know, harm coming to her children ASPIRATION / S :  Formerly wanted to become a major [black] ballerina in the elite world of ballet, now she just wants to expose more [inner city children] to dance through her job. Personally, she wants her children to change the world in some form or fashion, too. Eve also has good ideas on improving the community, but at the moment has no idea how to go about these ideas. POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Generous, compassionate, patient, protective NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Strict, sullen, hard to read, represses her emotions, secretive MBTI :  Advocate - INFJ-T ZODIAC :  Cancer TEMPERAMENT :  Melancholic ANIMALS :  Lioness VICE / S :  Pride & Lust FAITH : Christian. Grew up Baptist, but Catholic influences have been around her since childhood. Attended a Catholic High School in Park Slope, her grandmother Evelyn was also a practicing Catholic.  GHOSTS ? : Yes and no. She feels that objects formerly owned by the deceased posses the essence of their previous owners and that they essentially live on through these pieces of property. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? :  No, but it’s a romantic concept. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  Democratic ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  She likes being where she’s at now. But honestly, being upper class is all she’s ever known. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : Bourgeoisie, basically. The Littlejohn’s represent The Historical Black Elite.  EDUCATION  LEVEL : College level. FAMILY.

FATHER :  William ‘Bill’ Littlejohn MOTHER : Linda Littlejohn ( nee Hollins ) SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED  FAMILY : Amos Littlejohn (paternal grandfather) Liza Littlejohn (paternal grandmother) Evelyn Hollins (maternal grandmother) Giuseppe D’Aietti (maternal grandfather) and a wide host of cousins, aunts and uncles.

FAVOURITES. BOOK :  Night Song by Beverly Jenkins. The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Some sort of old, French erotic novel that was published before she was born. MOVIE : Eve watches films along the lines of...Waiting to Exhale, Beaches, The First Wives Club and Fatal Attraction. She loves Made-For-TV movies from the time period. In regards to plays, her favorite one is Sunday In The Park With George. 5  SONGS :  Meet Me On The Moon / Essence of Sapphire / No One In The World / People / The First Time I Saw Your Face  DEITY :  Persephone  HOLIDAY : New Years Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Major holidays during the colder season. MONTH :  October SEASON :  Autumn PLACE :  The dance studio she works at. WEATHER : Sunny, but cool. SOUND : The voices of Anita Baker and Sarah Vaughn. A skilled hand running over piano keys. Soft trumpets. Running water. Cats making chipper little meows. SCENT / S :  Perfume, floral scented lotions, her partner’s cologne TASTE / S :  Caramel, the tang of dark chocolate, strawberries coated with either chocolate, or sprinkles of white sugar. Light Vinegar.  FEEL / S : Performing in front of an audience. Hot water engulfing your skin after a long day. Satin - whether it be the fabric of her clothes or sheets, your fingers tightly intertwined with another’s, feeling your significant other’s chest raise and lower against your skin with each breath they take. ANIMAL / S : Cocker Spaniels, Afghan Hounds, Cats, Birds - she loves all ( well, a majority ) of animals. NUMBER :  Doesn’t have one. COLOR :  White, Pink, Gold.

EXTRA. TALENTS :  Dance, Eve is trained in ballet when it comes to her main verse. She has attended ballet classes since the age of eight and ever since then she placed all of her focus into it. Similarly, Eve has always had the makings of a good artist - as a child she enjoyed drawing and had informal art lessons with a man who lived in the basement of her grandfather’s brownstone, but she never invested into that half of her. BAD AT : Singing, Being interviewed, Public Speaking (as in Speech Giving), Decision Making TURN  ONS :  Charisma, Leadership Skills, Temperature Play, Phone Sex, Heavy Kissing, Light Roleplay TURN  OFFS :  Public Sex, Tearing [ Her ] Clothes, Threesomes, Cruelty, Senseless Violence HOBBIES :  viewing plays & some musicals, reading romance novels, shopping, working out (she was into the whole celebrity VHS tape exercise trend), playing tennis, decorating AESTHETIC :  Vintage Black Glamour, Black Ballerinas, Champagne and Wine Glasses, Paintings by Melinda Byers and Edward 'Clay' Wright QUOTES :  "I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes." / "There are truths I haven't even told God. And not even myself. I am a secret under the lock of seven keys."

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( A Thin Line Between Love & Hate ) ALT  FC / S : Kylie Bunbury ( Twisted ) OLDER  FC / S :  Lynn Whitfield ( Greenleaf ) YOUNGER  FC / S : N/A VOICE  CLAIM / S : Lynn Whitfield

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?       A1 : Recently I decided that if/when I try to write anything serious about Eve again, it’ll center on her being a jewel thief because it presents me more fun, and emotionally diverse, opportunities. That and I have a very specific cover image in my mind. Ideally, her adventures would be a series of books. I have no title in mind, no idea about how ‘it would be filmed’ ( although a style replicating 90s films would be excellent, film grain and all. ) but, I do have a bunch of plots in mind that I really don’t feel like typing out here.  

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  Her score would have a vintage sound (or a jazzy Spike Lee sound, if you will) with instrumentals by Dorothy Ashby (a Jazz Harpist) the Ahmad Jamal Trio, Pharaoh Sanders, Yusef Lateef and Tarika Blue. For music with lyrics, the soundtrack would include the likes of Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, and Dionne Warwick.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?   + Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A3 :  Whenever I make NPCs for my character’s lives I actually can’t just let them just be NPCs. I start thinking about them too much. Developing them too much. And then I’m like, ‘wow! I really like this character!’ Eve was a different character when I began writing her, and likely wouldn’t be considered the same character as she was previously, if I told someone in real life who knows about my writing (like my grandma) about all the changes she has undergone. Originally Delores was a university professor, because I thought it could lead to interesting interactions with college-age muses. And her previous history with the mafia was also something interesting to tap in. But then I started thinking about what was realistic, what wasn’t realistic, what did I feel comfortable/interested writing? What didn’t I feel comfortable/interested in writing?  So as time went on, things would alter about this character. And the new things I came up with attracted me more. 

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.         A5 :  I have a love/hate relationship with Eve’s quiet demeanor. On one hand, I think quieter characters need love and the ability to be fully dimensional but on the other hand, writing louder characters has always been more fun for me. But really, Eve’s guarded behavior makes writing her stressful in some cases with others because sometimes...if I’m going to be honest...people don’t know how to carry a thread and interact with someone of her demeanor effectively. 

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 : We’re both black, we’re both into art (although our exact interests and aesthetics with art differ)

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?         A7 : Realistically she would think I need to take better care of myself.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?   A8 :  We skippin’ this question.

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 : Films such as, “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Kitchen” and “Widows.” Books by Alice Walker, like “The Third Life of Grange Copeland” as well as her short story, “Roselily.” The historical mob figure Stephanie St. Clair.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 : A few hours.

[maggiemontgomery]

amanda seyfried, bisexual, cis female + she/her ― hey look, it’s maggie montgomery! they’re twenty-seven years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for six years, and they’re currently working at sweet tooth. i heard they’re pretty avoidant, but i think they’re so ambitious at the same time. can they make it out alive? || nikki, 24, she/her

hello hello everyone! i’m thrilled to be here. say howdy to my lil wannabe french girl/karen roe baby. 

age: twenty seven birthday: may 1st zodiac sign: taurus sexual orientation: bisexual relationship status: single occupation: baking manager at “sweet tooth” positive traits: ambitious, trusting, open-minded, level-headed negative traits: avoidant, repressed, dissociative, fatalistic

CHARACTER BOARD 

tw: alcoholism

- maggie was born in denver, co. her parents weren’t exactly rich- dad worked at a factory, mom worked in tourism. both were dissatisfied with their life, and maggie knew she needed to get out as soon as she could.

- her father was a part-time alcoholic, so maggie’s cooking skills arose out of necessity- if she could make the perfect hangover cure, she could convince him for just a few moments that life wasn’t so bad. over time, cooking became her only escape from the mundane of her life.

- at 16, maggie got accepted into a prestigious cooking school in france. after some deliberation (read: heated arguments), her parents agreed to send her to live in paris, provided she could come up with the money herself. maggie worked two years to afford it, and vowed that she would leave and never come back. 

- maggie fell in love with the city and in love with her craft, and that was enough... until she met henri. it was like a dream, a french rom-com that would last forever... until she got pregnant and he left her. maggie stayed in paris as long as she could afford, and moved back to denver with a month left in her pregnancy.

- maggie’s parents were furious, but didn’t have the heart to kick her out directly after giving birth. she knew she had to leave the second she was able, so she packed up what little she owned and moved her son, olivier, to shrike heights. she’d heard of an abundance of jobs there, and figured there was something she could do long enough to get on her feet. one day, she swore, she’d return to paris.

- that was five years ago. now, she’s all but resigned to her daily routine of baking cupcakes and the occassional birthday cake in a small booth in the mall’s food court. she’s not unhappy; maggie has found immense pleasure in raising olivier– more than she could have imagined at seventeen. 

tldr: maggie is a chef/baker at heart. at sixteen, she moved to paris to go to cooking school... and then got knocked up by a hot french guy who abandoned her and their son. she moved back home, got kicked out by her parents, and moved to shrike heights in search of a steady place for herself and olly. 

~if you made it this far, i owe you my life! drop a like or message me on discord if you want to plot! discord: nikki ✨she/her/hers ✨#2848 

[gameofdrarry]

Wizards Hearts Recs: Established Relationship

Wizards Hearts was a four-month-long Drarry reading fest. Players were given a playing deck of 52 tropes, and were asked to find 52 different fics to read and comment on to fill their decks. To prevent the same few fics from being read, fics were restricted to only being used for the game three times before being considered ineligible for further points. The tropes and submissions list can be found here.

Check out the masterlist of fics for this trope below the cut!

📜 Malfoy Meet Muggle by PenNoire Rated:  Teen Words:  25,326 Tags:  Animagus, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humour Summary:  Draco Malfoy is surprisingly happy in a comfortable relationship with Harry Potter. Unfortunately, Harry wasn't brought up doing things the wizarding way, and if Draco wants to make this work, he's going to have to learn to integrate the magical with the muggle. Really, how bad can it be? ❤️ Read on AO3 or FFN

📜 A Nightmare Waiting to Happen by triggerlil Rated:  Explicit Words:  21979 Tags: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Claustrophobia, Eye Trauma, Eye Gouging, enucleation, Childhood Trauma, Vomiting, Choking, Unreliable Narrator, Horror, Body Horror, Clones, Abuse, Nightmares, Zombies, Cannibalism, Sectumsempra (Harry Potter), Legilimency (Harry Potter), Hospitals, Character Death In Dream, Antagonist James in Dream, bug horror, Snakes, Moths, Child Death in Dream, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Established Relationship, Hogwarts, Post-Hogwarts, Abusive Dursley Family (Harry Potter), Attempted Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Corpses, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hurt/Comfort, Curses, Magically Powerful Harry Potter, Protective Draco Malfoy, Husbands, No Explicit Sexual Content, Homophobic Language, Sexist Language, Bullying Summary:  Draco sat beside Harry's bed as the man breathed deeply; his eyes were moving rapidly beneath his eyelids, and every so often, he would twitch or part his lips. Draco couldn’t imagine what was going on in Harry’s mind, but he clutched his husband’s hand, wishing he could take his place, do anything to help. Harry Potter is cursed into a nightmare-verse—escaping one nightmare only causes him to fall deeper through the layers of his subconscious—will he be able to free himself, or will his deepest fears swallow him whole? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Age is just a number by gnarf Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  1555 Tags: Old Age, Humor, Fluff, Established Relationship, Dementia, Plot Twists, Shoplifting, Just Add Kittens, Muggle London, HP Fluff Fest 2020 Summary:  Married for decades, their life is perfect. Until Harry gets a call and hears the following words "Mr Potter, we caught your husband stealing ten large packs of King Sized condoms." ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Our Dreams, Our Pride by ahhhnorealnamesallowed Rated:  Mature Words:  10319 Tags: Hermione Granger is a Good Friend, Healer Draco Malfoy, Healer Harry Potter, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Holidays, a very british coach holiday, Ireland, POV Alternating, Swearing, discussion of sex and sexual acts, Slice of Life, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, (or very little plot), Magic University - Freeform, Post-Secondary, Getting Together, Established Relationship Summary:  For six years, Harry has promised Draco a 'big thing' for their anniversary. This year is the year Harry is going to make it happen, even if he does so in a very Harry Potter way. Including last-minute vacation planning, some very sassy old people, a coach bus, and less anniversary sex than expected. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 No Wizard Is an Island by Novaa Rated:  Mature Words:  50009 Tags: HP:EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Ensemble Cast, Slow Burn, Quidditch, Getting Back Together, Established Relationship, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger, Auror Ron Weasley, Auror Harry Potter, Healer Draco Malfoy, Apothecary Draco Malfoy, Quidditch Player Ginny Weasley, Slice of Life, Harry/Draco Big Bang 2018, Community: harrydracobang Summary:  For a life is made of the people living it, and no wizard is an island. A twenty-years journey in the intertwined lives of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Draco and Harry. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 The Arrangement by RurouniHime Rated:  Explicit Words:  65746 Tags: From Sex to Love, Established Relationship, Past Relationship(s), Domestic, Requited Love, Making Out, Jealousy, Falling In Love, Angst, Confessions, Moving In Together, Introspection, Pining, Community: help_haiti Summary:  It's worked for years. Why change it now? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Training Exercises by spookywoods Rated:  Explicit Words:  1313 Tags: Auror Draco Malfoy, Blindfolds, Hand Jobs, Married Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, It's Curry Night at the Malfoy-Potter Residence!, so you know it will be hot, Terrible smut and terrible puns, here all week Summary:  Harry comes home from work to find Draco sitting in the dining room in the dark, wearing a blindfold and little else. “It’s for training,” Draco says. “Training?” “Sensory and environmental magic.” “I could help you train,” Harry says. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Take a trip into my garden by Andithiel Rated:  Explicit Words:  5974 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Porn with Feelings, Established Relationship, Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, First Time Bottoming, Draco in lingerie, Bisexual Harry Potter, Rimming, Anal Sex, Really there might be too much feeling for it to count as pwp, As usual when I write, Enthusiastic Consent Summary:  Harry has only been dating Draco for about two months, but he’s already obsessed with the git. And he knows that today, Draco has something special planned, something that includes him being dressed in skimpy lingerie. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Forget-Me-Nots and Narcissus by triggerlil Rated:  Mature Words:  14430 Tags: Piano Player Draco Malfoy, Wand Maker Harry Potter, Summer, Domestic, Work partners - Freeform, Established Relationship, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Wakes & Funerals, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death, Gardens & Gardening, Panic Attacks, apple picking, Wandmaking (Harry Potter), Classical Music, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort Summary:  His long pale fingers travelled across the keys, the sound of the piano cresting and falling, one moment soft and enticing, in the next fast and sure. The first few buttons of his white shirt were undone, revealing a pale chest and thin lines of scars; the sleeves rolled up to his elbows to reveal strong forearms, one marred by a smudge of black ink. Or in which Draco is overcome by grief, and Harry is there to keep him afloat. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Through the Window, Clear Skies by tackytiger Rated:  Mature Words:  1415 Tags: Falling In Love, Idiots in Love, Moving In Together, Boyfriends, Domestic, Potions Master Draco Malfoy, Emotionally Repressed, True Love, Mention of wanking, mention of fucking, but mostly just love, Engagement, Drarry Discord Writers Corner Drabble Challenge Summary:  What would happen if Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy moved in together, too soon after they started kissing and then fucking and not hating each other anymore? Will Draco insist on a wine rack? Or: Domestic Drarry with a bare hint of angst. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Sweet Nothings by vivi1138 Rated:  Mature Words:  1985 Tags: Major Character Death, Character Death, Minor Character Death, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Loneliness, Hallucinations, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, POV Draco Malfoy, Established Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Muteness, Terminal Illnesses, Physical Disability, Loss of strength, Bodily Fluids, Heavy Angst, Hospitalization, Missions Gone Wrong, Auror Partners, Minor Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Afterlife, Mental Health Issues, hopelessness Summary:  What do you do when you lose the one you love? After a raid goes wrong, Draco navigates the waters of his grief and may very well lose himself in the process. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Love Found by peachpety Rated:  Explicit Words:  7500 Tags: Double Agent Draco Malfoy, BAMF Harry Potter, Hogwarts Sixth Year, love realizations, Boys Kissing, Legilimency (Harry Potter), Occlumency (Harry Potter), mind connections, Intense Emotional Action Sequences, Canon Dumbledore Death, Established Relationship, Teenage Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Non-graphic Mentions/Recalls of Offscreen Sexual Activity Between Consensual Minors, Magic and Emotions Conveyed as Color, Threats of Physical Violence and Intimidation, References to Past Forced Submission, Killing Death Eaters, Eventual Happy Ending, Minor References to Past Snape/Lucius Summary:  During Harry’s sixth year, Draco Malfoy joins the Order as a double-agent and continues with his task to get the Death Eaters into the castle as assigned by Voldemort. Draco succeeds with his mission the evening Harry returns from the caves with Dumbledore. The boys reunite on the Astronomy Tower and, with the Death Eater’s arrival, are forced to engage in a fight, driving Harry to come to terms with his feelings about true friendship and romantic love. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Christmas Is For Sex (and Love), So Give It To Me by GoldenTruth813 Rated:  Explicit Words:  53218 Tags: PWP, Established Relationship, Christmas, Bondage, misuse of frosting, making gingerbread houses, coming without touching, Blowjobs, Fingering, anal penetration, Rimming, misuse of fairy lights, Praise Kink, Nipple Clamps, erotic massages, Lingerie, Harry in Lingerie, Butt Plugs, Masterbation, Dirty Talk, Overstimulation, Topping from the Bottom, Ice Play, misuse of snowballs, misuse of brandy custard, veritasium, Public Sex, misuse of christmas candles, Wax Play, floating blow jobs, bubble baths, Candy Canes, misuse of candy canes, sex with feelings, Clubbing, naughty letters, babysitting teddy, Edging, healing past trauma, really so much more than sex, but lots of sex too, spiked hot cocoa, Drunk confessions, Anal penetration with a foreign object, french!draco, Switching Summary:  Draco buys Harry an Advent House, intent on helping Harry create all new holiday memories, and have a lot of great sex in the process. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 there’s a trick with a dragon I’m learning to do by curiouslyfic Rated:  Explicit Words:  20000 Tags: Politics, economics, social commentary, international relations, mature characters, complex relationships, intellectual comradeship, working together to achieve a common goal, sharp dressers, snark, banter, armchair sex, wall sex, desperate kissing, orgasm denial, playful biting, Machiavellian intrigue, wizard banking, Potterverse ghosts and goblins, pursuit, subtle seduction (i.e. life-saving and/or political acts that can be interpreted as courtship), and frivolous decadence Summary:  Harry’s live-in’s a workaholic being courted — harassed — by an array of weeping minions and an assortment of overprivileged pricks. Harry’s bloody portraits are being harassed — courted — by, well, an assortment of things Harry doesn’t even want to think about. Harry’s had a long week already and so far, his weekend’s not looking much better. At least he can say with certainty there's no place like home... ❤️ Read on Dreamwidth

📜 Last Offices by tackytiger Rated:  Mature Words:  6737 Tags: Major Character Death, Character Death, Blood and Injury, Memories, Unhappy Ending, Wakes & Funerals, Falling In Love, Sad Harry Potter, Preparation of a body for burial, Non-Linear Narrative, Flashbacks, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Happy Memories Summary:  It didn't seem fair that Malfoy was dead, and Harry was supposed to just keep on living without him. He had lost enough people to know that he probably would keep on going—his stubborn heart was still beating, after all, even though it felt like it was going to break. But first, he had to get through the laying out of the dead—those old Pureblood funeral rites—even if every time he touched Malfoy's too-cold body, he was reminded of how things used to be, and how things might have been. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Love Is by xErised Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  26529 Tags: Emotional Roller Coaster, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Post-Hogwarts Summary:  Aurors Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are presumed dead during a mission gone wrong. Their partners — Draco and a pregnant Hermione — refuse to believe that they're gone, even after a year of their absence. A tale of loss, longing and love, with a happy ending. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Making A List and Checking It Twice by blithelybonny Rated:  Explicit Words:  20758 Tags: Porn with some plot, Established Relationship, Kink Exploration, Kink Negotiation, Dom/sub, Making Out, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Semi-Public Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Masturbation, Voyeurism, Dirty Talk, Spanking, Frottage, Rimming, Sex Toys, Butt Plugs, Subdrop, Aftercare, Bathing/Washing Summary:  ON HIATUS - WILL BE COMPLETED -- A life-changing event is headed Draco and Harry's way - what better way to celebrate than by checking a few things off the old sexual bucket list? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Dreams That You Dare to Dream Really Do Come True by Drarrelie Rated:  Explicit Words:  11751 Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Established Relationship, The Burrow (Harry Potter), Birthday, Harry Potter's Birthday, Birthday Party, Birthday Presents, Birthday Sex, Birthday Smut, Sexual Fantasy, Sex Toys, Sex Toys Under Clothing, Secret use of sex toys in public, Internalised Kink Shame, Praise Kink, Consent, Enthusiastic Consent, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Porn with Feelings, Fluff, Light Dom/sub, Dom Harry Potter, Sub Draco Malfoy, Top Harry Potter, Power Bottom Draco Malfoy, POV Harry Potter, Don't copy to another site, Fanart Welcome, Podfic Welcome Summary:  Today, Draco’s new boyfriend turns nineteen and the annoying tosser has refused to present a wish list. It’s not Draco’s fault if he felt compelled to get a little creative, right? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 Up the Duff by CorvetteClaire Rated:  Explicit Words:  86755 Tags: Mpreg, Magical Pregnancy, Fluff, Smut, Light Angst, Wizengamot, Unspeakables (Harry Potter), Snarky Malfoy-style Humor, Snarky Draco Malfoy, Harry's Thing with Walls, Adorable Toddlers, Pregnant Draco, Protective Harry, Desperate Malfoys Summary:  Draco Potter is hugely pregnant and (much to his surprise) enjoying himself. He loves having Harry fuss over him and looks forward to adding another Potter to their little family. Unfortunately for Draco, his parents have found out about their impending grandchild and have no intention of letting him separate them from this child, as he did from Bob (Felix). Their attempts to force their way into Draco's life may bring down even greater troubles on his head when the wizarding world at large finds out that Draco Potter, née Malfoy is up the duff! Or The fic that answers the burning questions... How many servings of McDonald's french fries can a pregnant wizard eat in a single day? Just how adorable and persuasive can a quarter-Veela toddler get before his fathers sell him to the Goblins? Is it possible to conceal a pregnant belly the size of a Hogwarts carriage under a glamour? What could be more ruthless and dangerous than Malfoys in need of an heir? Will Harry and Draco ever agree on a name for their child? Are girls really easier (and will our heroes ever find out)? ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 what the body wants is coolness by lastontheboat Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  13428 Tags: Day At The Beach, Established Relationship, First Time in Public, draco overthinks things, harry is affectionate, Beach Quidditch, no smut just fade to black, HP Drizzle Fest 2020, Community: hp_drizzle, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE Summary:  "Are you done primping yourself yet?" Draco asked, feeling mulish. "We can still meet your friends on time if we leave now, but we'll have to walk quickly." Harry rolled his eyes. "It's a beach day, Draco," he said patiently. "Not a pureblood society event." "Yes, well, not all of us have the goodwill of the rest of the wizarding world to fall back on when we commit acts of social barbarism." ~~~ Draco and Harry have been seeing each other for months, and Harry decides the best way to tell their friends is to bring Draco to a group beach outing. Draco's given up enumerating all the ways this plan could go wrong. ❤️ Read on AO3

📜 A Memorable Speech by Samunderthelights Rated:  Teen and Up Words:  1300 Tags: Drarropoly: A Drarry Game/Fest, Drarry, Fluff, Silly, Weddings, Established Relationship, Short & Sweet, Don't copy to another site Summary:  Harry is asked to give a speech at Teddy's wedding, but when he gets flustered, it becomes a speech the wedding guests will remember for a long time. ❤️ Read on AO3

[werelesbian]

Lesbian has been a word that has been negatively used since I was a child. When I was a little kid I was told “You can’t be gay or marry outside of your own race” by my father. I must’ve bottled that up for years. I’ve always looked at girls since I was a kid. I remember one of my earliest memories being from when I was about 7 and thinking a lady with a green shirt was really pretty. I also always remember staring at boobs and butts, A LOT. I always had an interest in girls, I just didn’t realize it.

When sexuality became to become known, one of my friends came out as bisexual and I flipped out. Being gay was always seen as bad to my family and thus I had to follow it. When “I Kissed a Girl”, “She Keeps Me Warm” and “Same Love” were on the radio, I became very anxious and changed the pronouns to prove I wasn’t gay. I couldn’t be gay right? Even though I have looked at girls before and I remember staring at my friend’s brother’s ceiling with a picture of a woman in a bikini.and being mesmerized by it.

As I got older, the concept of being gay became normalized to me. I came out as pansexual because that’s what I thought I was at the time. I maybe had one “crush” on a boy, but more numerous ones on girls. My friend, a camp counselor, and my mom’s friend’s daughter.

High school finally rolled around and I went through my first stage of questioning. I cycled through labels until I came to bisexual. That’s what I believed to be best. Then the crushes on girls flooded in. The first crush I recognized I had on a girl was my friend’s ex girlfriend. I wanted her! But when my friend asked her out I was crushed. “Oh well I thought, I’ll have to live with it”. I tried to third wheel in their relationship, probably due to lingering feelings. Then I developed a crush on another girl, a good friend of mine. I asked her out to TOLO, but she said no and I cried. Straight girls cry when they get rejected by girls right? I almost asked a guy friend of mine as a rebound but then decided against it.

Later on since both of my friends were dating, I decided that I should to. I chose a guy who I thought was ‘cute’ and we went out a few times. He even asked me to homecoming the next year where he kissed me. I felt nothing by it and very awkward. Him and I went out again a few more times but I didn’t really feel much for him. I liked the kissing somewhat but that was about it. I think I was more excited by feeling rebellious. My friends pushed the label of ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ onto us, but it was awkward. But I still went along with it.

At the beginning of sophmore year, I had to attend eating disorder treatment and I was drawn to another girl there. She was so cool and I wanted to be close to her and spend time with her. Too bad nothing ever came of it. That same year however, I also developed a crush on another girl in my French class. When she walked in, it was like time slowed down, I was SO attracted to her. We even sat next to each other in class and boy, did she make me nervous. I felt things that were different than even being with that guy I was with. Even seeing her years later, my eyes still were drawn to her like a damn magnet. She was gorgeous.

In junior year, my friends began to have sex and lose their virginities. I felt left behind and wanted to fit in. There was always a craving for it, especially since I always felt ‘different’ and left out, even since I was a kid. I was bullied too and with a sweet blend of my low self esteem and depression, I followed trends. This was just another one of them. I made a ‘pact’ with myself that year to get a boyfriend for the sole purpose to lose my virginity and I did. I also developed a weird obsession with two guys that year. I dressed up and daydreamed scenarios in my head of them liking me. I wanted them to want me, but I’m not sure if I wanted them. But I also did end up achieving my goal that year. I got the boyfriend and lost my virginity. I did what I had to do. Even though it was awkward and I felt numb after it. It resulted in me having 2 months of extreme anxiety due to a fear of being pregnant.

In the relationship, I didn’t feel much, or not at all for the guy. I leaned on him for support due to my dysfunctional family. It was an escape. I eventually broke it off with him and got over the relationship within a week. This started a cycle of waiting for the next boyfriend to come around. The next one eventually did. He was nice and cared for me. He pursued me first and I went with it. I’m glad I didn’t have to have sex with him. It was the easiest relationship I was in because we were more like friends and less like lovers. Then we broke up and I got over him within a week. Rinse and repeat.

The last boyfriend I dated for nine months and I believed at one point I loved him. He cared for me and had a nice family I could escape to, when mine was falling apart at the seams. I craved the ‘nuclear family’ unit since I never had in the start. I felt accepted and safe there when I didn’t want to go home to mine. His companionship was nice and all, but I know deep down I didn’t care for him the way he cared for me. He loved me, but I didn’t love him. He wanted to escalate the relationship to the next level and an alarm bell went off in my head. It was a major “NO” to be but I tried to ignore it and said “maybe” to him. I often went along for the ride and never followed what I wanted. We eventually broke up after we were drifting apart. I began to crave sex less and began to hate doing anything with his penis. I tried my best to avoid having penetration and was relieved when we didn’t have to do it. I was so scared of getting pregnant, but deep down it may have been my body telling me that it wasn’t right. I was also relieved when I didn’t have to see him as much. I wanted to be away from him and felt relief when I broke up with him. It took me about a week to get over him.

The cycle almost began again when another guy pursued me but I wasn’t into it. He wanted to go out with me again and I panicked. I didn’t want to see him. All this time when I was dating boys, my sexuality was really repressed but it surfaced in cracks. I’d often create characters who were LGBT+ and the ones I was most obsessed with were often bisexual or lesbian. Most characters I created were never straight, but I turned them so because of my own internalized homophobia. I dealt with it a lot for two years and even showed discontentment with others who were openly queer. I think it was because I myself deep down knew I was like them but was afraid to be ‘different’ due to backlash. I had crafted and dressed myself in a way to be palatable to the opposite sex. I had this deep craving to ‘fit in’, so much so that I neglected my own sexuality and in a way a part of myself.

This year, I met another girl who I fell for. I began to crush hard on her and fell head over heels for her. She made me feel good about myself for once in my life. She was beautiful, kind, smart and had a wicked sense of humor. She was like a dream to me. She was my catalyst. I wanted to kiss her and hold her close. We fell asleep on the phone with each other every night and spend hours talking to each other. It was like two peas in a pod we clicked so well. I also craved her touch, her body, her skin against mine, what her lips felt like. I took notice of the little things in her from the curve of her jaw to the color of her eyes. I wrote her letters and picked flowers that I wanted her to see. I wanted to talk to her all the time.

Although our relationship was short, I will forever thank her for lighting the fire again of my sexuality. When I began talking to her, I began to take notice of girls so much more. My gaze averted from that I had learned to that of what I wanted. Pretty girls made me so nervous and I felt like my damn 14 year old self again. It was like being a kid in a candy store, I was so damn happy! I even bought pride merchandise for the first time in forever. I was okay with being gay. However, I should have never brought it up with any of my family. They said that they’d like me to end up with a boy, asked if I have talked to any boys yet, said I haven’t found the right guy, I’m just x sexuality, etc.

Now I’m scared once again and want to go back into the closet. I’m keeping this close to me. It’s my dirty little secret I guess. Questioning doesn’t help either. I doubt myself all the time and ‘test’ myself to see if I am attracted to men. I feel as if I have to ‘double-check’ to see if I am truly gay. It’s the damn doubt all over again. I also punish myself if I look at girls in a sexual way. Girls in the past thought I had touched them and I felt like a dirty pervert, hell my friend even thinks so. It’s hard for me to allow myself to like women again. I don’t want to be seen as a predator or trying to use them as an experiment. I just want a girl to love and give my all to. I want to be the best damn person I can be for my future girlfriend/wife and I’ll be damned if I can’t do that.

All of this questioning process is so confusing. Am I a lesbian? Am I bi? Maybe I’m just a straight girl in denial doing this because I’m lonely. Fuck who knows. I just know that after being with a woman, I sure as hell don’t want to go back. My attraction to men has regressed. Maybe I’m in a bi-cycle, or maybe it’s my lesbian awakening. Only time will tell. Most queer women I have talked to agree that I am a lesbian. When I call myself gay or lesbian. It makes me feel good, but I feel as if I have to resort to bisexual just in case “Mr. Right” comes along. But he probably never will. In fact, he probably never existed.

I’ve had elaborate fantasies about romance but I never saw a clear face of who the “man” was supposed to be. When I fantasize about sex, I was never there unless it was with another woman, never a man. Another woman always took that place and I’d view it from third person, like watching porn. Women light a fire in me that men do not. I’ve gotten turned on by their bodies and touch in a way that I haven’t with guys. Hell if I know why, but I do. Maybe I really am just gay and that’s okay. Maybe I am a lesbian after all. The word isn’t so “dirty” anymore.

Reading back over this reflection from how I feel about my sexuality back in august, it still really rings true to how I feel. I know I experienced attraction to men in the past, but now I feel more attracted to women more than anything. I hate how my brain tries to make me think that this will all be temporary and I will go back to a straight lifestyle eventually, but deep down I know this is what I want. Not going to lie, I don’t like talking about sexuality with anyone irl other than some of my own friends who also experienced the same thing. I tend to keep things under lock and key because I don’t want people to know about my bisexuality. I can’t change who I am yet I continue to try and disprove that I am attracted to women and try to prove that I am more attracted to men despite not really feeling that way anymore. My sexuality isn’t “fluid”, but my preferences have changed. I just wanna be with a woman possibly in the long run and if I never experience any attraction to a man again, nothing is lost for me. I tend not really to go out of my way to interact with men other than friendships just because it’s not something that I necessarily care for. I just gravitate towards spending time with other women and idk why. I know that’s not indicative of my sexuality or anything. Nothing is indicative of it other than who’ve I’ve been attracted to which is women and men. I hate being bisexual too if I’m going to be honest. There’s no basis for my attraction and experiences vary so wildly that I can’t always relate to anyone but go off what I feel.

Maybe some of the way I act is performative because I wanna escape the idea of being with a man. Maybe if I find the “perfect man”, I can learn to be with him and spend my life with him indefinitely. But that relationship with a man just seems so...unsatisfying. I just can’t do it. With women though, I think I can be with one in the long run. I have my own fears of actually not liking it or that I’m gonna react in a similar way to when I was with men in that something felt off all the time, but I’m unsure if that will happen. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to fall in love with a woman or want to spend my life with one. This all sounds very contradictory I know but this is me getting out my own thoughts. I honestly don’t think I want to be with men again. Does this make me a febfem? Maybe, but I also know that a woman just sounds right to me.

[hextiger]

More Research Excerpts

This time it's Der Alptraum in Beziehung zu gewissen Formen mittelalterlichen Aberglaubens. (English: The Nightmare in Relation to Certain Forms of Medieval Superstition).

You can find the PDF here via Project Gutenberg, but it's in German.

For context though: this appeared in 1902 in a magazine published by Sigmund Freud. That fact is very much apparent throughout.

Introduction

"My focus is not on the historical side but the deepest psychological meaning" phrases that clue you in that there's a lot of nonsense coming

Nowadays the word "Weib" really just reads as "woman (derogatory)"

Dream and Belief

"the breath soul and the shadow soul" I'm sorry what. What! Shadow soul?????

"Freud's discovery of psychoanalysis" I don't know that I'd call it a discovery rather than "wholesale invention" or maybe "ass-pull" but sure

You can at times REALLY tell this is influenced by Freud. Example: "The more people have a certain type of dream the more likely it is that its' subliminal content is of a sexual nature" good (?) news for all the people who dream about their teeth falling out

Something something dreaming of your dead mother or father something something oedipus complex repressed in childhood

You can really tell this was written in the early 20th century. Take me back to the 18th/19th century weirdness please

"In a court in 1516 the jury of Trojes admonished the caterpillars who had devastated some distracts on punishment of curse and excommunication to leave within a certain number of days" I have SO MANY questions

The source for the above is "Cesaresco. Essays in the Study of Folk-Songs, P. 183" which I now have to read

Nightmares

"It is generally known that nightmares have a greater influence on the fantasy of waking life than any other dream" my dude you JUST went on for a whole chapter abt sex dreams so like are you sure

"I have added that the repression of female masochistic sexual urges is more suited to the creation of the typical nightmare than that of the male one, a view that Adler agrees with" I just wanna read abt weird hairy creatures sitting on people's chests, not this nonsense

Ok HERE'S something interesting. Dude's talking about how nightmares express deeply repressed wishes like yes. This I can vibe with

"Digestive problems do not explain the appearance of beautiful women from keyholes" sure but if that were a thing I'd sure as hell take the digestive problems

Incubus and Incubation

"In the middle ages the belief was generally that there were evil spirits whose sole function was to have [...] intercourse with sleeping people" HE JUST SAYS THIS. WITHOUT A SOURCE

"A favorite form that incubi took was that of clergy. Hieronmyus reports the story of a young lady who called for help against an incubus which her friends found under their beds in the form of the bishop Sylvanus. The reputation of the bishop would have suffered if he had been unable to convince them that the incubus had taken his form"

People at the time reacted by saying "Oh an excellent example for the wizardry of Sylvanus" so I don't think this bishop was believed

Anyway I WISH that had been an incubus but it really sounds like it was just a creepy old dude

Sir why do you keep randomly throwing untranslated French quotes in this German text

Oh hey another mention of people who were supposedly children of incubi. This time it's Alexander the Great, Caesar, Martin Luther, Plato, all of the Huns and everyone who lived on Cyprus

You're right, it would be unnecessary to linger on how snakes are phallic symbols thank you for not doing that

"The belief that the soul leaves the sleeper in the form of a snake which escapes through the mouth" UM HOLD ON

I checked the source and yeah, that sure is a thing

This one's from Thorpe. Northern Mythology, 1851, Vol I. P. 289f https://archive.org/details/northernmytholog01thoruoft/page/n309/mode/2up

The Vampire

"The wish for reunion, which has its origin in the living person, is here partially projected on the dead" FINALLY some good content

"Widows can get pregnant by their vampiric husbands visiting" uhuh sure

"After the transformation into a vampire is complete it can be discovered by finding the unburied body with red cheeks, tightskin, full blood vessels, warm blood, grown hair and nails and open left eye"

May have found another source on alps here. Features slut-shaming of sphinxes as far as I can tell

"The Wallachian myth wherein dead redheaded men appear in the form of frogs, bugs etc. and drink the blood of pretty girls"

So depending on which church you were a part of before committing heresy you'd either become a werewolf (roman-catholic) or a vampire (greek)

"Like the vampire the Alp can be the soul of a dead person and suck the blood of sleeping people" whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy do I only read this now

The Werwolf

Apollo's apparently associated with wolves, which I did not know

Oh yeah I forgot about the part of werewolf lore that's like "Yeah they turn their human skin inside-out cause the other side is a wolf pelt"

If you're born on christmas day you're apparently destined to become a werewolf as punishment for your parent daring to deliver on the same day as Mary

"The seventh son is destined to become a werewolf, the seventh daughter a mare" mmmmmmmmm there's Something here I may be able to use

Quick gallows, wow what's that? Oh. Oh it's a gallows where the person has their hands bound behind their back, is pulled up by their bound hands on a pulley and then dropped from great height??????? That's uh. That doesn't sound like a good experience

Armenian werewolves are women who sinned and were thus punished by having to live for seven years as a werewolf.

There's also a creature that's somewhat between werewolf and vampire which, apparently sucks blood from the soles of the feet of people walking by

Very rough translation but "One has to burn the werewolf because otherwise he will rise from his grave a few days later. In ravenous hunger he will eat the flesh from his own hands and feet and when he has nothing else on his body to consume he will burrow out from his grave at midnight, fall into the herds and steal the animals or even go into houses, lay down by the sleeping and suck their blood from them" this is good, actually

I cannot stress enough how openly freudian this thing is

Werewolves can apparently also leave behind their bodies and wander about at night

Devilworship

"Belief in devils can be traced back to an oedipus complex" ok. sure

Apparently the devil used to be a close parallel to jesus. The whole deal: twelve apostles, went to hell and was reborn, hot bod

The devil had his own bible which was written down in Bohemia and is now in a library in Stockholm k so who's down for a trip to Stockholm after [waves hands] all this is done

"One of the later bynames of the devil was Grendel (english Grant)"

The devil is canonically bisexual and bigender

He can only impregnate folks if he previously acts as a succubus

....Merlin was a son of the devil? He was born because the devil was imitating God? His purpose was to defeat Jesus? Is this what Fate Grand Order is about

"if a woman sleeps alone the devil sleeps with her" well good for her

The devil has a second face on his butt that looks like a beautiful woman's face. He sits the wrong way around in chairs. His genitals are on his back

The Witch Epidemic

Witches like to eat babies, especially unbaptized ones

Witches apparently sometimes turned men into horses to ride to sabbath??? rad

Or they rode the devil himself in form of a horse or goat. sure

Why would witches have stigmata. I want to know, but not enough to check the source that's cited for this

The roman-catholic church is at fault for witchcraft

Apparently 40 year old witches turn into Drude which are also similar to alps

In Conclusion

This entire thing was a trip but I cannot recommend reading it or a translation. It's far too Freudian for my tastes. At least there's a little bit here that I can use for A Pale Imitation and its potential sequels.

[namtanlovesfilm]

Umm so nothing BL related here, so I've read a few of your fics and they're absolutely gorgeous, sooo do you have any tips for beginner writers? Like I have this burning question so I'll just drop it, any tips to keep the characters in character? I don't really have any routine and lose motivation to complete the whole thing but I really do like writing :/ Also any tips to help make the writing smoother? Anything will do really 😅😅 Apart from that tho, stay safe and take care 💖💖

awww, well first thank you so much it means a lot! I’ve been writing for basically all my life at this point & my first childhood dream was to become a writer so having someone asking me for writing tips is literally so surreal to me <3

keeping the characters in characters: sometimes it’s something even I struggle to do & I think it depends on a lot of things. assuming you’re talking about writing for characters that already exist for a fanfiction, there are some characters I find a lot easier to write for. so first I’d say choose a culture you’re pretty familiar about. for example I find it pretty effortless to write a fic for thai dramas bc I’m obsessed with the culture & always learning new things about it. but when I had to write a fic for a korean drama I was completely lost bc I don’t know nearly enough of the culture to feel comfortable writing it. also choosing characters you already love & relate to helps a LOT. I love writing characters who don’t show their emotions easily & are very introspected bc I’m the same so writing them literally feels effortless to me. also just analyze what are the biggest character traits you have to keep for this character to feel like he’s the same character from the original series. just three or four major character traits you think of when you think about that character. for example two from theory of love: chaotic bisexual, very repressed feelings, great & funny friend & doesn’t show a lot of affection towards un despite loving him a little too much. I keep those four components in all of my fics with him in it too, making them feel like they’re not only a continuation of the original series but also that my fics are linked between themselves. and then it’s all about keeping these in mind & making the character feel right to YOU. it doesn’t matter if they change a bit from the series, but you have to ask yourself what the essence of that character is for you & then use that so the viewers feel it too.

not losing motivation & having a schedule: again I get you bc before I started writing fics again I went through a year & a half of writer’s block that made me give up the novel I was writing halfway through. if you tend to give up on projects, I’d say start smaller. don’t try & write a 10k words fic, start with 1k. as for the lack of schedule, I try to write at least a few lines of my fic every day. just try writing one sentence a day, even when you feel like you don’t have the time or you feel unmotivated. most of the time you’ll see that inspiration will make you write a lot more than that, so much so that you won’t be able to stop yourself from writing. but most of all write bc it’s fun & you like it, try and not let pressure get to you.

making the writing smoother: I’m not sure I entirely understand what you mean by that, but when I think smooth writing I think about a story that flows right through, that you read almost effortlessly. and for me it’s all about making things simple. as a french woman I used to make my sentences way too long, so now I work on making them shorter & getting to the point immediately. I don’t use much fancy language & my writing style is very simple, because I mostly want my story & my characters’ feelings to shine through. so I’d say put some love into your writing, but if the actual story is strong enough, it will flow effortlessly for the readers. also study writing styles you like & try to find what exactly you like about them to try & emulate it in your own style!

hope that helped you! take care of you too :)))

xxx

[lifesliced-a]

ambrose crawford holwell, 27, cis-male, bisexual with a heavy interest in women. english and french mix with a ‘a proper’ british accent. deep voice with his vc being jeremy irons. speaks with a slow drawl, often an irritation to others.

ambrose meaning ‘immortal’ and from greek origin, crawford meaning ‘fort of the crows’, and holwell meaning ‘holy well / spring’.

he is 5′11, is close to 300lb, is broad chested, larger in the belly, muscular thighs and arms, large hands and feet, and a square face. he has a very ‘edwardian’ and ‘victorian’ feeling to him as far as the presentation of the hair and similarities in chosen dress. his eyes have been described as ‘dead’ or ‘lacking light’. he has black eyes, black hair, and an overall rather pale, almost corpse-like complexion. he is fixated on women with blue eyes and brown to black hair. he shares a particular fondness for hair and teeth.

his mother’s origin surname is charbonnaeu, french for charcoal.

as character, ambrose embodies the black and white aesthetic in a world of technicolor. his associations are blacks, whites, greys, and diluted crimsons. his symbols are crows, crosses, and the overall ‘gothic’ archetype.

on the surface, he is of strong christian moral and faith. beneath the surface, he is most associated to the sins lust, gluttony, and pride. 

ambrose is wealthy, considered quite close to the ‘one percent’ as his family is old money. they come from an originating line of fur traders which then dipped into the oil industry, and eventually other modern business, stocks and trades, and various smaller businesses under the holwell corporation veil. 

on his own, as he has not yet inherited the family business or estate, he follows aimless investments and ‘passion’ projects. 

he is disassociated from ‘regular life’ and finds ‘poor people’ ( anyone outside of his personal circle ) to be ‘interesting’. he is rather lazy, sardonic, selfish, and looks down his nose at others. there is a quiet, calm confidence that comes from being handed everything and working for nothing. he is the first and only son, is a mother’s boy, and is horribly jealous of his father. he is the sole heir to the holwell fortune.

he comes off as polite and sophisticated, although a bit condescending. he is a good listener, often more quiet than speaking without cause. 

he seems to care little for price tags and just ‘buying things’ because he can. he’ll pay for everything, but act like it means nothing to him. it is nothing to him. he is socially sexually repressed as his family is heavily religious, but does whatever he wants behind the scenes. ambrose lives in a balance of high self-worth and constant shame.

he lives with his family in their main manor, though does have his own apartment in the city. he resides in the north tower of his family’s manor, and his parents in the west wing.

there is a small aviary of crows on his property that he cares for. he is particularly fond of them.

warning, some nsfw below:

his kinks include: hair, choking / being choked, bondage, heavy bdsm, food play, breeding, and basically anything affiliated or related to these topics. 

he often has nightmares of being choked to death.

[lennox-levin-little-lilith-did]

Hi again people who follow me!

I’m bored and I’ve decided to make fun facts about our DID system and the four known alters!

So before I start- Lilith has a bit of a show today, but the body was too tired for her to start anything. Like I feel asleep as soon as I got to class. The reason I know this is because of my outfit and she decided to put on lip gloss (which I never wear personally). She’s not conscious currently, none of the other three are, and I’ll get to that later!

Oh! And just so you know, this is Lennox.

👋

Let’s start with Levin!

Levin is the alter that co-cons often or will switch with me

He knows a lot about our system, but is very secretive about it so~

He is the only male alter in the system that I know of

He also goes by Levi and Lev

He likes more soft songs and songs with a good message

His favorite color is forest green

He’s the only alter that Lilith does not take her anger out on

He’s an introvert with really bad social anxiety

He hates sexual songs (so of course being me, I put two of the worst sexual songs I know in his playlist, he doesn’t know)

He has insomnia and ptsd

He’s extremely competitive when it comes to card games

He likes educating people on animals and wants to do gigs, like birthday parties and events, to teach people about reptiles and birds specifically

His favorite subject is English

He is white with blue eyes and dark brown hair. He’s thin, well more twig like, but whatever. He’s around 5’8 (two inches taller than the body)

His clothes style is baggy shirts with either baggy sweatpants or leggings. He wear plain colors, like pale blues, grays, and black. He, surprisingly, likes boots, even heeled boots

His favorite anime is... probably Durarara x2 any season

He has no sexual desires, but romantic likes girls

He’s 18

He’s very comfortable singing, he loves it. That a major way he expresses himself

His favorite song is... I think LA Devotee by P!ATD (idk why but that what he likes)

^^ What he likes to wear ^^

Next on our list is

The demon queen herself, LILITH

She is named after Adam’s first wife, the demon queen, Lilith (yes she liked to go church, but we stopped going)

She is a bisexual

She’s ageless (she has no age, or if she does she hasn’t told anyone)

She’s an absolute bitch and she knows it.

She has violent mood swings and anger issues (respectfully so)

She is also an introvert, but not because of anxiety, no it’s because she wants to strangle every single person that looks at her weird

She hates Little with the burning passion

She gets repressed the most because no one wants to be expelled from school

She likes cooking

She hates cleaning because of her ocd

She wants to pursue a culinary job

Her favorite subject is science

She rarely fronts and when she does it’s quick or someone is co-con with her (ex. What happened with aleia-clownery)

Lennox(me) has to clean up her messes as always.

Her favorite anime is... The Promised Neverland (she likes Ray a lot)

She likes aggressive songs, or songs that swear a lot

Lilith has wavy black hair with blue highlights. Her eyes are a brownish red color. She’s short, like 5’2, and likes to wear heels because of it. She’s black as well

Her favorite color is dark royal blue

Her style of clothes is black shirts with skulls on them and tight, but comfortable, pants. She also likes a certain denim dress I have

She likes drawing and doodling ways to kill people and I have to say she’s pretty good

Her favorite song is Sarcasm by Get Scared (very fitting for her)

^^ What she wishes she can wear ^^

Next is Little!

She likes to bake

She enjoys going to restaurants, specifically Asian style ones

She’s loves animals and wants to work with them so bad.

She’s an extrovert with ADHD

Little is Hispanic and on the chunky side. She has a caramel skin tone. She can understand it way better than me (Lennox) and she wants to learn Japanese and French (I’m interested in Japanese so we’re probably going to learn it)

Her favorite subject was College Writing Prep and before that was Language Arts, but the writing part of it. She really likes writing

Her favorite color is... honestly black. She likes that it matches with everything and likes the science of black too

Her favorite anime is Ouran High School Host Club (I hate it with the burning passion) her second choice is Black Butler (any season) which we allow her to watch

She likes baking and cooking, tho she prefers baking, she likes the way it calms her, I guess

Her favorite song is Voices in My Head (she listens to a lot of nightcore so I don’t the artist)

I’m not saying much else about her (I don’t want creeps harassing her)

^^ What she prefers to wear ^^

Last, and certainly least, Lennox (aka me!)-

My favorite anime is Kakegurui or... BNA... or BNHA... or Hitorjime My Hero (My Very Own Hero)... or maybe Given? Idk I like a lot of anime...

The first anime I’ve ever watched was Wolf’s Rain. I was seven I think, but it was on YouTube so I didn’t get to watch the whole thing. I recently found it, but I’m afraid to watch it lmao

I like the colors teal and turquoise, as well as blood red and jet black

I like anything P!ATD, Halsey, Imagine Dragons, Fall Out Boys, Set It Off, Alec Benjamin, OneRepublic, and Nico Collins and AJR(granted so does everyone else but 🤷)

My favorite songs are Control by Halsey and Lonely Dance by Set It Off and Don’t Threaten Me With a Good Time by P!ATD and River by Ed Sheeran and Eminem and Not Afraid by Eminem and I’m Ready by AJR and Karma by AJR... I can go on for hours, but I’mma stop here

I’m Non-binary and the only gender nonconforming alter. I’m also pansexual

I hate being touched, I hate talking to people that act ignorant, and I hate this body I’m in

I look like the body so no description for you 😝

I have anxiety and depression. Everything else I’ve been diagnosed with can really be related to DID

I’m a neutral party in everything, so when I say I don’t know, I don’t care, whatever, or not my business, I’m literally saying I have no standing or opinion in this

I like cooking, baking, organizing (not cleaning), writing, reading, doodling, and doing self introduced projects for fun

I like plaid clothing, hoodies, and pride shirts. I like sweatpants and sneakers. I also like things on my neck... it keeps me ground I guess

(Oh my god I’m writing this with Ella, right? I told her to stop clawing at the furniture, right? All of a sudden her focus is on the ground and I wiggles my toes, testing if she was looking at my feet, and I started moving them around. I told her, ‘stop looking at my feet.’ This cat, this puta, liked me in the eyes before looking back down and got in position to lunge at my feet. My heart stopped and I pulled my feet onto the couch. And she was going to do it because the moment I moved my feet, she jumped from the top of the couch she’s on... she scares me sometimes 😣)

^^ What I would wear if Lev was a little shit and let me wear pride stuff and jewelry ^^

Now-

Onto how our system works!

Levin and I co-con often. If I’m not in control, then he is

On instances where I get angry, Lilith takes control

Little co-cons with me more than everyone else because she enjoys annoying me

Lilith and Little are both so stubborn and hardheaded, it’s unbelievable. On the other hand, Levs and I are open minded and calm. So we often clash on what we should do as a collective

Lilith is a Christian, Levi and I are atheists, and Little is a Seventh Day Adventist (the religion I grew up with). However Lev and I hold more say, so we don’t go to church

I guess you could say there’s a hierarchy in the system. I have the most important say, then Lev, then Little, and lastly Lilith

Levin and I enjoy co-conning with each other only, anyone else gives us headaches

Everyone loves Nico Collins, Alec Benjamin, Set It Off, and AJR the most

Everyone’s favorite albums are Death of a Bachelor (p!atd), Cinematics (set it off), and American Beauty/American Psycho (fall out boys)

Everyone loves sushi and sushi rolls (California and Philadelphia rolls are the best)

We all really want to try takoyaki and pork Katsudon. When we do try them, I’ll probably make a post about it

We all love Ella and we all want to start a rehabilitation center of all animals and a pet cafe

We love reptiles, like all reptiles, venomous snakes included

I think there are more alters that just aren’t as prominent as the other three, Levin would know but he doesn’t like to discuss our system often

We really want to buy these specific no pierce cuff earrings

Edit: this total slipped my mind- when I’m on my red week (you know what I’m talking about) the others let me deal with it on my own, especially Little and Lev (Lev hates that week and recedes completely)

That’s all I’m willing to share about us (or that I remember)

My part was short because you guys talk to me all the time

Sincerely,

Lennox... with a sprinkle of Levin

I’m tagging some people because why not-

@one-pissed-off-child @liveto-100 @madame-ree @martinidrinkingmartin @anon-nom-nom95 @queenzie-xo @scalybunnypapi69 @gogetyoselfsomesoup (still bitter) @cristinaweeb @aleiakit @aleia-clownery (I’m still so sorry about what happened) @studiesboie @bloomyboithatemoji @pumpkineiji @penelopebakugouburrito1