#little eppy boys

[velvet-paradox]

Intense

Fandom: Sleep Token (Band) Pairing: Vessel x Female reader x III Length: Long Summary: Your eepy roommates suggest they can help you out. Warnings: NSFW 18 + ONLY, LISTEN UP PUNK I know what I'm about ok and I shouldn't even have to to explain this but for ffs this is for funsies, fictional purposes only. I don't know these British men and I don't claim to! But am I having an absolute ball listening to them everyday day since I heard Dark Signs??? Absolutely. I have not and will not know peace on Earth ever again so with that being said... my lizard brain wants to shoot my shot and get sandwiched between Vessel and III (purely based off their on stage personas) and I'm pretty sure all us worshippers would enjoy kneeling and begging for forgiveness for all the eepy guys. DON'T LIE TO ME; I'll know. ;) One late night thot lead us down this path so here ya' go, we've got: strong language, explicit content, MFM relations, polyamorous activities, kissing, oral (m receiving), p in v, protected sex, unprotected sex (don't do it!), double vaginal, dirty talking, creampie III is a mess, Vessel is along for the ride and you're indulging in the spoils of detailed smut. Tagging: @synnersaint my ride or die

ENJOY!!!

You stare at the red numbers on the clock next to your bed. You blink.

Unfortunately unfazed by the hum-drum pace and the position you've found yourself in.

Ugh, how did this happen again?

The man on top of you, circling his hips against your own, balls deep in your cunt should be fun, exciting, a turn-on at least but you just laid there, once again, taking it but not getting anything out of it. You faked it the last three times just to get him to get off you, out of your apartment and out the door so you could finish yourself off with some post nut clarity. Which is what you should've done in the first place.

The first time you had sex with him, you chalked it up to nerves. It'd been a few months for him and a bit longer for you at this point. The second time you excused it as you did go out for drinks earlier in the night and the last one was just plain awful. No foreplay, bit your neck too hard and pretty much gave you a titty-twister which was not fun; at all.

But he's nice! And funny, easy to talk to you and here you are, making more excuses for a man who can't even get you off. This is just pathetic, girl.

You felt bad faking your enthusiasm but even as you moved in unison with him, hearing him huff and grate out oh my fucking god for the fifth time, he didn't even have a clue.

So you dialed it up, two more minutes had passed with him just thrusting inside you, he didn't even notice you weren't as wet as before. What a fucking disaster.

You sighed and made your O face, biting your lip and holding his waist, the slapping of skin sped up briefly before he pulled out with a groan of your name, panting as he jerked himself, tore off the condom and came on the inside of your thigh.

Fucking finally.

Your date was quick to get dressed, mentioning something about an early shift change. He gave you chaste kiss on the corner of your mouth, cupping your face as an afterthought as you followed him out of your bedroom.

"I'll text you when I get home. I-- oh!"

You bounced against his back, stunned as to why he's just stopped like that when you peer around his frame. There on the couch in your living room sat your roommates.

"Oh my-- what are you guys doing home?" You asked, frantically looking between the two sober faces and their luggage by the front door. Well more like the painted chin of one and the eyes of the other. You were hyperaware of the drying cum on your leg and crossed your fingers and toes they didn't hear your activities or what remained to be seen.

"We live here, remember?" Vessel waved one of his hands, III nodding along.

"When you said you had roommates I just assumed they were other girls." Your bedfellow side talked to you as to not alert your boys.

"Is that a problem?" You asked.

"No I just uh," he looked at III when he stood, an attempt to intimidate. "It's fine um... I'll call you."

"Well that was rude," Vessel announced, joining his brother after he left. "Didn't even introduce himself."

"He won't be around for long. I wouldn't worry about it." You dryly chuckled before embracing both of them. Vessel cupped the back of your head, pressing his chin into your hair before letting III swoop you up in his gangly arms and gave you two solid spins. "Put me down! You reek."

"Ah, the mask has seen better days I'm afraid. Can't wait to get a hot shower and something in my belly. Road livin' ain't what its' cracked up to be, ya' know?" III admitted.

"Um, let me get changed and I'll make you guys some food," you jogged out of the living room, calling over your shoulder. "Lord knows what you boys eat on the road!" ....

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," You paused the movie and turned to face Vessel on the chaise lounge part of the couch, long limbs sprawled out, ankles crossed and rocking. "What's up?"

Vessel twisted his painted mouth before asking an out of pocket question. "Why do you torture yourself?"

Taken aback you wondered what he meant and crossed your legs. "What? What do you mean?"

"I think you know what I mean." When you showed your genuine confusion, he sat up. "Your little boy toy. Not that III and I have been cheeky little perverts and eavesdropping on your late night escapades but... we can't help but be concerned. Either you're a silent climaxer, some people are and that's totally fine and we're bold to assume or your partner isn't doing it right."

"Excuse me?"

"We've only been home a few weeks and we've heard him far more than we've heard you," Vessel explained, ignoring your anxious fidgeting and cuticle picking. "What we have heard though, is a lot of buzzing after your friend leaves."

Oh. My. God.

Your heart is hammering in your chest, desperate to get out of, out of your body and on the run. Blood pounds in your ears at the audacity of this whole conversation. Your roommates have heard you getting off, know you have toys, know your friends with benefits is lacking the benefits part and that you'd not been taken care of. You wished it was still cooler out and you could grab the usual throw off the back of the couch and hide away underneath.

"What are you guys talkin' about?" III popped in, holding a glass of chocolate milk, an absurdly long and coiled straw was hidden beneath his mask as he sucked dramatically.

Vessel smirked. "Oh just Y/N and how her new beau can't get her off."

"Oh finally! I've been dying for this conversation," III exclaimed and excited plopped down next to Vessel, scooching closer and leaning forward as he drank some more. "So what gives? Give us the goods."

"I don't... he knows what he's doing, it's just--"

"It's just he's bad at it." III giggled.

"I can get off, okay?"

"Yeah, we know that. Just not with him."

"I... fine. It might not even be him you know," you tried. "Maybe it's me. Maybe I can't get out fast enough."

Vessel quirked his mouth. "Get out of what exactly?"

"My own head. I think too much, you know that. I need to feel everything in order to shut my brain off and not worry about how many loads of laundry I need to do, when I need to switch out my sheets, did I pick up my towel in the bathroom? What should I have for lunch tomorrow."

The boys looked between themselves, shrugging and looking bewildered. "You... you think about all that stuff all while having sex?" III snorted and shook his head. "You're a madwoman, you know that?"

"I'm trying not to think of those things!"

"That's what I was afraid of," Vessel took III's now finished drink away from him and set it down. "If you want, we could help you out. Save you the trouble and the energy and uh, some battery power."

You chuckled. "You're joking. You two are gonna' help me out."

"Just say the word and we belong to you," Vessel crooned, licking his top lip. The pink of his tongue was such a juxtaposition to he obsidian black that covered his face, his arms and hands, his body. "This could be a one time deal, if it's not up to your standards, we don't have to mention it ever again or... it could be a three times a week sort of thing."

"Three times a week?!" You screeched.

"That's up to you."

....

"So uh have you guys like... done this before?" Your voice doesn't even sound like your own, shaky, breathy, uneven and higher pitched. You pointed between the duo and yourself. You hadn't but your incognito search history might say you've looked at it a few times.

They admitted their deep rooted feelings about you. Your stomach flipped for Vessel's breathy pet name of Duchess, your toes curled for III's Sweetness. 

With the way they looked at you, you couldn't even remember his name at this point.

Vessel shrugged. "Just with you."

"Just me?" You balked, you knew the guys were close, sometimes skin tight so to find out they'd not acted out was stunning and a major green light. "Oh um, I'm flattered. iI think."

"You should be. III isn't much of a talker, speaks his mind when need be."

"Unless its' dirty." III piped up with a shrug of his own, with the way his eyes wrinkled you could tell he was all smiles under that mask.

"A little tact there, brother!" Vessel scolded him, giving a backhand to his arm. "Don't scare her off."

"What? She should know. You should know. I am dripping with sin."

"III!"

"What? We're all adults here, right? An' we're talking about fucking each other so who cares?! And she might even like it. Do you like dirty talk, sweetness?" III asked with a tilt of his head.

"Uh I um... I. Well..."

"Do you," III stood and got closer, much closer, swaying his way to close the gap between you. He stood with his legs on the outside of your own. He tilted his head the opposite way and kept his eyes trained your face, the heat from the eye contact made you hot. His painted thumb touched your chin. "Like that?"

You'd never felt this kind of intimacy, this heightened level of attraction and arousal and it made you nervously laugh at the thought that it was radiating off your friends like a fucking forest fire.

You swallowed. "Yes."

"Aha! Knew it. Those pretty eyes and that fucking mouth are hiding plenty of secrets, yeah?" III pointed, that thumb of his traced along your jaw before pushing gently on the underside, making you look all the way up at him.

If they wanted to play, you thought, I guess... let's play.

"Maybe."

"Oh! Now we're getting somewhere," III chuckled and looked over at Vessel before touching your shoulder, moving the strap of your sleep shirt back and forth. His hands were hot, scorching your skin as he touched the light fabric. "Should I undress you or should you undress me? Or maybe Vessel wants to unwrap us both. What do you think?"

"I think--" your throat constricted before keeping his ardent eye contact. "I think I want to undress you first."

III liked that idea, he wiggled his shoulders and raised his arms. "I'm all yours, mama."

....

His hoodie is the first thing to go, floating down to the floor. A black compression shirt separates flesh and bone, it comes off easily over his head. He's only half painted there. You can see streaks of his skin, soft and smooth, hidden from view. His stomach tightens when you trail your hand down his chest, foreign to your hands.

"I think about you, ya' know? Not to be pervy or bold but... you are the prettiest thing we've ever seen."

His compliments make you warm, you clench around nothing.

He suddenly grabs your hand and moves it higher. "Feel that. You make my heart fuckin' pound like crazy. The first time I saw you in that green sundress, you know, the one with the little daises on it... fuck me," III admitted and dramatically bit his fist. "I've never been so hard in my life!"

You know the dress in question. It's hanging in the front of your closet. Guess it'll be making a debut and turn III on once again. 

"Oh yeah? Well maybe next time I wear it... I won't wear anything underneath."

III made the deepest of groans, moving your hand down his ribs while he undid his belt. "Fuckin' hell, don't tease me woman."

"You don't like that?"

"I like it too much! That's the problem."

His zipper was so fucking loud, it cut through the room like a hot knife. Smooth and seamless, even Vessel had to clear his throat. You looked over at him on the chaise, legs wide spread, lithe arms outstreatched over the back cushions. With three separate eye holes in his mask, it was hard to tell where he was looking but in this moment you felt them boring straight into your own.

"Keep going," he hummed and visibly bit his lip. " 'm enjoying the show."

With III was just in his boxers, it was your turn. Your disrobing would be a lot quicker as you were in a light pajama set and crew socks. You mmiiced III and raised your arms above your head, his nimble fingers danced over your sides, dragging the material up and over your head. He tossed to Vessel, who out of your peripheral, had inhaled your scent on it. He did the same with your shorts. The rush of cool fan air make your skin prickle, your clit throbbed when you fully noticed the outline of III's cock. Jesus. 

III got on his knees and lifted one your feet, gripping your ankle.

"No. Keep them on." Vessel spoke, pushing himself up off the couch and sauntered over to you, fully nude and on display. He embraced your face, pressing his forehead to yours before slinking behind III when he stood.

Vessel's painted arms looped around III's, locking them behind his back. III made a noise.

"Take him out," Vessel instructed with a low gasp. "Take him out and see what you do to him. Same as what you do to me. Hell, all of us, duchess."

ALL OF US?!

Before you got on your own knees, you touched III's hips, hooking your thumbs just beneath the fabric and dragged them down. His cock made the softest and prettiest thud against his lower belly. Your eyes bounced from their faces, down to his leaking cock and back again.

"He wasn't lying," Vessel chuckled, his chin now draped over III's shoulder. You met his eyes. "You make him rock fuckin' hard, love. Want her to take all o' that? Nah... you need her to take care of that, don't you?"

"Fuck yes." III whined. "Please."

"How are you gonna' help our good boy, love?"

III shook before your even touched him, you on your knees before him was enough to have him looking frantic. Completely at your and Vessel's mercy, you took him in your hand first, getting familiar with his length before dipping your head in worship, opening your mouth. You hesitated for the briefest of moments before angling him deeper and further into your mouth.

It was a good thing Vessel was holding him up because you felt and saw III's knees wobble once you got your stride, gliding your hands up and around his thighs, arching closer with your fingers reaching his ribcage. Your palms against his skin felt every twitch, every jolts, every fucking sigh. The noise that strangled out from his throat when you dragged your nails down his stomach had you clenching around absolutely nothing.

"That's it, you're doing such a good job, love bug. Atta' girl, get 'em off real good, yeah?"

"Yeah yeah, fuck yeah," III whined and bucked his hips, "Your mouth feels so fucking good. Suckin' me off real sweet, mama. Give it to me."

"She's good with that mouth, hmmm?"

"Oh fuck V...wait 'til she oh shit, right there-- wait 'til she's gaggin' on you. O-oh my God."

When III took the Lord's name in vain it sounded so sweet in comparison to your other lover. You could feel yourself getting wetter, more powerful than you ever had with him. You took their words of praise, locked them in a little safe in the back of your mind for safe keeping.

"You're lucky I don't shove your ass out of the way then." Vessel teased and III mewled with delight.

....

III made grabby hands at you, wiggling his fingers as he laid out on the chaise part of the couch. He wiggled, tapped and pointed towards his mouth too.

When you climbed on top of him, his arms engulfed you, bringing you chest to chest. You kissed his face over his mask, startled when he suddenly pulled the chin part of it up to his nose and kissed you for real. You whined and kissed him back harder and faster, tasting his mouth, licking inside of it. He smacked and grabbed your ass, groaning against your lips.

"You two are fuckin divine," Vessel breathed, shouldering off his robe finally, unzipping his own jeans. "Fuckin’ hell, what a sight."

You turned your head to his silky voice, watching him stroke himself.

You were in big fucking trouble.

III nipped your arm. "Want you. I want you so fucking badly. Think it'll fit? Think you can take it?"

You took a breath and held his cock, hot and ready against your pussy. Rocking against the crown, splitting your lips to ready you for him. You licked your lips and lowered down on it, your mouth instantly opening. "Fuck yes."

"Good God!" 

"Shit... a little more, love and you'll take him all the way in. That's it." Vessel cooed and pet your head, then your face. "Kiss him again."

With his heavy hand on your head you kissed III tongue first, the sounds of you two kissing had Vessel praising both of you, leaving him breathless.

III grabbed your hips, rolling and fucking up into you, breathing you in.

You and III stilled at the sudden dip of the couch.

Vessel's hand on your shoulder, his other ghosted and trailed over III's mask and vulnerable chin and mouth behind you. He lost it at that, whimpering against your cheek, a new flood of arousal coating your walls.

"Just relax pretty girl. We've got you, we got you."

"What are you--"

Vessel's thick fingers reached around your front, pressing and swirling down around your clit. "We're both gonna' fit. Just remember to breathe for us, ok?"

Holy shit. This was intense.

III's arm surged up and over your shoulder to touch Vessel, ghosting over his naked hip, gripping his bare skin.

"I've got you both. Trust me."

It was your idea to lift up, empty of III only to arch and take a deep push of Vessel. You frowned and touched III's face when Vessel pulled completely out. You both gasped when he spat. III squirmed and whined, the sudden intrusion of Vessel lining them both up against your hole, wedging their cocks inside you.

It didn't necessarily hurt, more pressure than anything and for fucks sake, you'd never felt so full in your life. 

"Fuck V! Give us a warning, holy fuck." III breathed when the frontman started to rock and move. After a few minutes of fucked out bliss, it seemed like Vessel was fucking III through your body.

He smeared his face along your spine, your shoulder, leaving wet open mouthed kisses along your neck and ear.

"Good fucking God duchess, you are absolutely soaked for us, aren't you? Can feel you really start to open up for us now, yeah? Fuck you're amazing. Isn't she?"

"Ye-yeah yeah. Positively sweet," III's eyes sparkled in an amorous way. You kissed him hard. "Can't wait to have a taste of you, sweetness."

The thought of him working his mouth on you made you keen and fuck down on them.

Limbs twisted and tangled, Vessel nipped a small, incredibly sensitive spot behind your ear before licking the shell of it. Humming and praising you with that gravely timber. He was touching you, holding onto one of your tits for stability and III did the same, using just the pad of his thumb to pebble your other nipple.

You would never recover, that much you were sure of. They were out for pain and pleasure.

On a particularly hard thrust from III your moan slipped into sex drunk chuckle. "I think she likes it."

"I'm in fuckin' heaven." You breathed, reaching back to touch Vessel's thigh, digging your nailbeds in deep.

"That's it, you fuckin' naughty thing." His hand left your breast and found a new home around your throat, turning your head to face him and receive a sloppy kiss. III moaned at that.

"You two are fuckin-- ah shit. I'm close, fuck. Give it, give it to me."

Vessel's laugh against your lips made your walls constrict.

"Just like that!" III practically yelled, digging his fingers into your thighs, alternating to your hips, changing the tortuous pace. "Fuck, 'm gonna' bust, sweetness. Fuckin' cum inside you all nice and deep. Make it stick."

"Fuck me." You hung your head and rode it out, nothing but pure pleasure and bliss was shared between the three of you. And it was worth it. "Oh you guys... aha! I'm gonna' cum."

You couldn't remember the last time you came that hard with a partner and never with two! They both rubbed their hands and mouths over your skin, groping over your sandwiched body. Vessel's chest stuck to your back like glue, III grabbed and pushed both of your breasts together as he came shortly after with a grunt of your name, stringing along a beautiful array of obscenities. 

"I've got you, I've got you both in my clutches now." Vessel's voice sounded like silk on glass next to your ear as he continued to thrust, spearing III's load all over your gummy walls. III reached out a lazy hand and Vessel took it, lacing their fingers together over your shoulder. 

Skin on skin on skin.

III leaned up for another smooch with you greedily enjoyed, smacking your spit and lips together until all you could feel and hear was Vessel shudder behind you.

....

Vessel couldn't stop smiling as you giggled, helped to your bedroom, wedged between them on your bed as they cleaned you up. You would certainly need to clean up that side of the couch later. III was careful of your more tender bits, being stretched out and filled, removing black grease paint of where they were.

He drummed his fingers over your arms when he was finished, molding his body to yours. His head against the side of your neck. III soon joined in the snuggle, jumping into bed and under the covers with you. He gave you another kiss before pulling his mask back down, and pet Vessel's head.

Your phone buzzed when your boys had fallen asleep, you had a feeling of who it might be and if this is how the future looked; there was no way you were gonna' give this up.

[cerealmonster15]

a doodle

jamil in ruggie's ceremony robes story or whatever: god ruggie and azul you two are freaky and up to no good when you come together about business, im outta here 😒

jamil when he and ruggie team up during that One Part in masquerade event: :^)

[trans-xianxian]

I am In the coffee shop with my little latte ready to write my fic and draw my comic 😤

[mooniebatz]

hhhh brain fink

CG Scissors- like, OG or Better Scissors. I wanna draw itttt aaaaaa but es eppyyyyyy (; x;)

I feely wik he’d be a ‘big brother’ cg kinda thingy,, callin u stuffs lik ‘lil guy’ , ‘fella’ , ‘kiddo’ etcetc GN-Masc little names- he’d prob bee welly chill cg n funnn but wik def almost crys wen his lil cries lol

[lonelycornergremlin]

i kneo notrhign about you but

ive seen ghe one eith Silver and Jade.

⚔️❤️

[paulic]

Ok this is what I think the biopics will be like for each Beatle:

John will be so troubled but in a really charming way and Julian will be mentioned but briefly and they’ll make it seem like John was just too busy to be a present father (Paul will make up for it in a vomit inducingly cheesy way). His eating disorder, heroin addiction and other internal struggles (self-esteem, sexuality, maybe even gender,…) will go unmentioned or brushed over jokingly like haha he tossed Brian off, don��t we all at that age. He’ll be the cool and funny older brother & later genius who just couldn’t be confined within a band. They won’t have the guts to call his bullshit and therefore will automatically brush over his kinder and vulnerable sides. He’ll be reduced to a knock off version of the tortured artist blueprint. They’ll never pick up on his pathetic wet dog vibe

Paul will be the charming good guy who’s all in with the band. No mention of how he fucked over Jane and every other girl until Linda; he’ll be a musical genius, too, but in a prince of the people sort of way. They’ll loooove that he stopped eating meat, woke king!!!! Linda will be brushed over by making her into his soulmate wifey who finally helps the charming playboy with a heart of gold settle down. His depression and alcohol problem won’t be mentioned/reduced to feeling a little sad. He’ll be a little bossy sometimes but they won’t ever get it right how fucking annoying he could be. Straighter than a ruler. John’s brother, almost biologically. No homo. They’ll find a way to make the twink who fucked the entire population and had an ego bigger than Neptune into a straight feminist

George will be the indie underground smart Beatle and people on tik tok will start posting thirst traps of the actor with the caption “they don’t make em like this anymore” and then complain about real-George’s teeth. He’ll be so spiritual and smart and he won’t have an affair with his best friend’s wife at all and if he does it’ll be because of some spiritual insight, not because that man couldn’t keep it in his pants for 5 seconds. I’m deadly afraid of the colourful drug scenes where he’ll hallucinate god. He’ll be the perfect boyfriend and Pattie will be played by Sidney sweeney or something. They won’t take a side with the whole George Or Paul debate during the breakup, but George will be too focused on other things to want to stay in the Beatles. They won’t mention the three billion songs John&Paul deemed unworthy. They’ll never do the grudges my man held justice. No one could

Ringo will be the funny guy who luckily survived his childhood and found his passion through a kind nurse giving him his drumsticks. He’ll play an incredible drum solo at 8 years old on his hospital bed frame the first time he ever holds those sticks. He won’t be in gangs, he won’t beat his wife half to death, he won’t have drugs and alcohol problems. He’ll be peace and love from age 0. He’ll be slightly stupid and he’ll mention octopuses too much. They’ll never get it right how he was truly the eldest and how much his vote and opinion actually counted within the band and how much the boys wanted him in the band and admired him. He won’t be a sort of glue to the band. He won’t marry a teenager he met when she was 16 and he 22. He’ll be a weird version of Ken from the Barbie movie, his job will be Drum. They’ll flatten a severely nuanced and layered man to a sheet of paper with the word ‘beat’ on it

I am too afraid to even think about what they will do to Eppy

Oh and each and every one of them will have way too pretty teeth and I am already furious. I want them to have British men in the 1960s teeth. Give me British teeth and jerking off together

[yuurei20]

Epel Facts Part 4: Assumptions and Cater

Despite how much pride Epel takes in his humble upbringing he is often dealing with assumptions by others that he comes from an elite family.

Students in his potionology class mock him for being “a rich little brat” and “daddy’s fancy little lad,” while a 2nd year bully calls him a pretty boy who thinks he’s special, telling him to go back to “hoity-toity” Pomefiore and do some embroidery.

During his first evening at the school his fellow dorm mates assume that he is “the son of some noble” and that his family must employ a skilled weaver when Epel says that he does not have a favorite brand of carpet.

Both Deuce and Sebek assumes that Epel must come from “a real rich family,” while Idia greets Epel for the first time with, “Pomefiore fancy pants has joined your party.”

Epel and Cater overlap in a vignette where Cater—like most students—seems hung up on Epel’s physical appearance without knowing anything about him, calling him a “cutie-pie” despite Epel’s displeasure and trying to convince him to start a Magicam account.

Cater invites Epel to Mostro Lounge to get a picture with him for Magicam but Epel turns him down. Interpreting Epel’s determination to please Crewel as fear, Cater offers to go with him to apologize for a mistake that Epel made in class so that they can face Crewel together.

Epel reveals that he has compensated for the mistake he made in class on his own, surprising Cater with his homemade fertilizer, using horse manure from the Equestrian club. (Cater: “That’s the last thing I’d expect from dainty little Eppy...you’re not just a pretty face.”)

Cater again tries to get a picture of Epel for Magicam, convinced that he could easily become an influencer, but Epel again turns him down in favor of going to the library to study. Cater goes with him.

When Epel tells Cater about chasing crows around on his family's farm back in Harveston Cater comments, "I can't even imagine it-it's such a huge contrast to how you look..."

[ashipiko]

@robo-milky HELLO

Hair-swapped TWST Part 41

I'm sorry, I had to know how Rook looked with this hairstyle. I can't quite make out is Epel pulls off the bob, but it's not the worst thing in the world. Rook though looks pretty nice!

If you have suggestions for future hair-swaps, feel free to comment and let me know!

[samagoblin]

Hello everyone!

First post here, I hope you like the fan art of this little sleepy eppy boy Hypnos from Hades :3

[im-just-a-little-freak]

updated tfp vore pt3

Starscream

-this is gonna majorly suck for you.

-he really doesn’t eat people often.

-but when he dose it’s with rather little care for the person being consumed.

-unless you’re a human he thinks is alright, he will be more careful.

-he isn’t going to bite you (hard) but he won’t be very careful as you go down his throat.

-stomach is pretty tight, not uncomfortable though, he is a very gangly man, and doesn’t have much light.

-megatron doesn’t give star boy here a healthy amount of energon (purely a headcanon) so this may or may not lead to him abandoning his standards and push a few humans behind his teeth.

-you’re totally fine, he couldn’t digest you if he wanted to, he can only absorb energon.

-probably gonna hunt you a little, draw out the terror as he follows you, talking about his exact plans, what’s gonna happen and how helpless you are.

-smug little bitch when he actually eats you, all seriousness just slowly evaporates as he giggles like he’s thought of the most genius plan to ever plan.

-he dose find it rather hard to be comfortable with a person inside, it’s not like he’s squirming, but he can’t sit fully relaxed unless said human isn’t moving, which is kinda impossible.

-might rant to whichever poor sod he had eaten about his hate for Megatron and his own life.

now for my other concerns.

this man here, he’s a prey, someone needs to eat him, look at him, he looks like a wet cat, get a larger cybertronian to eat him, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

-he squirms, he will yell like he’s being stabbed when someone tries to eat him.

-when he is actually inside he just sits, absalutly fuming inside

-kicks, bites, shrieks, the works, it’s not going to be fun, or easy.

-but he isn’t totally unwilling.

-if he is being hunted down by Megatron, he’d be more then happy then hiding inside someone who he’s semi close to, he wouldn’t be happy, but he would be willing.

-he may chill at after some time, just give him an energon cube and feed his ego, he might calm down, relax even.

-*angry loud yelling* ten minutes later *Reluctant acceptance* ten minutes later *eppy*

[42-3e]

eppy boi

Little doodle of my beloved Drift :3

[andellaheartz]

Messenger boy ! The little guyy dawww the eppy 🥰🥰🥰 the *mercilessly crushes him with my fist*

(insta design by @applejuiceyjuice-art )

[restingobject5757]

Oh my god.. I want one… he’s such a eppy boi. I would carry him around everywhere with me. Like excuse me this is my little pocket sans. Honestly I’m gonna make all my clothes have pockets so I can hold this little man!💝💝💯🤍

don’t wake him

[yoshiintheweb]

You know scratch that

Instead, before i will go soo soo eppy deepy to sleep, I will tell you a tale about my little special Boi Bazyli. So his my OC for like a little book i work on and off since like 2018. And his a weirdo. Mostly bc his the most polish nerd you will ever meet but he lives in nowhere, Wales so it's strange and off-putting for most around him. His my little freak and i love him. He speaks in polish sayings but translated to English so to confuse people. His a little chaos goblin. He pranks his school. Like you must wear a uniform type of school. He has big ass scar on half of his face cuz reasons. His scared of priests for apparently no bigger reason just that it's sound funny cuz Poland is big on Jesus. He has fuck ton of siblings (biological and adopted). He lives on a farm. He has a pet snake. He used to have a pet bunny. He has a crush on a goth girl. He has dumb haircut. He has ominous and prophetic visions sometime. His friends with a multiple dead people. His a total loser. His My personal hero. His fashion sense consist of hand me down clothes and a pure spite to make them look cool. His music taste is just the most girly thing you can think of. Bazyli the dude of all time, just some little fella who has no swag and the biggest amount of rizz you will ever see at the same time.

[oneohtrixpointalwaysunderscore]

I'm not Gay! a Christmas Tragicomedy

Content warning: Contains ableist and racist slurs, and LGBTQ slurs (those don't count to me anymore oops)

Chris Maggason was just a normal straight guy. 23 years old. Loved a brewski and a shmashter over the head, always broke cans on his forehead and called the scars tattoos. But his really big secret (except for the nights he cried and then blacked out, in that order) was that he had never had sex before. He barely even masturbated; he was a good Christian boy, but some of his fantasies were worse than dark.

It was Christmas, 2022 didn’t feel right even though the liberals got over their cough-phobia real quick. Fucking faggot libs always lay down and take it. Anyway…

Faggots in masks. I hate faggots. Every signal one. Every one, they them shit is gay and retarded. Rarded even. It’s so easy to make up new eppy-thets for these new faggots. I even beat a few up, they went down like balloons at a holocaust shaped meataphor store.

Anyway…

uhhh so…. uhhhh

Regardless, when Chris met his mom’s new family friend that night he was a little intimidated. Ogunde seemed to unfold like origami through the house; 7 and a half feet tall (more in African Measuring) he had to duck the family mantle and even brushed the mistletoe by mistake.

“Oops!” He said, a big smile plastered over his face. “Don’t worry, I brought a watahmelon,”

*author’s note, that’s actually how he said it! I’m not Chris, I’m not actually racist or fascist!*

Chris’s mom quickly explained that she met Ogi-san at the local YWCA. She/he had quite the story, born in Japan, then relocated to the U.S. to pursue his god given basketball vocation. Struggling with a few antiquated policing practices, but otherwise understanding the vibe. s/He’d been shot at as a kid, japanese kids can be a little mean to outsiders, always playing gang. After one of their heads mysteriously went through a glass backboard they never fucked with him again… besides, she was her at that point: Kawaii desu!

Chris hated to admit (inside his dense, rock-like mind) that he was more than a little scared of this guy. I mean you could see his sock in his gymshorts if you know what I’m (he’s) saying. I’m saying I’d fuck this dude but yaknow. gotta keep the alcohol flowing or I forget that I’m still funny. Sad face emoticon. 

Anyway….

Uhhhh….

*****

By the end of the night Chris had been won over though! Even a N*E*G*R*O000let’sgobarndon69 with a good attitude can be let into the house, or some kind of autistic way of settling that horrible horrible sentence. Sponsored by Jim Crow Whiskey!

They drank whiskey, coke, loaded eggnog, even broke out the old century egg.

“Looks good to me!” Ogunde said, beaming. He even pantomimed eating it before mommy snatched it out of his big, big hands. A milky streak over his big, black, coffee colored, color theoried cup of black dark dark primitive coffee, 69 degrees hot (h4wt)

That night, Chris was tumbling into a pre-sleep paralysis nap when his eyes snapped open. There was the demon hovering over him; but it felt more real than ever before.

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Kiowa died for a reason. Norman Bowker died by his own hands. Enough said aabout the lost warriors

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Its mouth open, rotting ants piling out its black tongue.

“MY BOY,” The voice cried, howling. “I KNOW WHAT YOU CRAVE. I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED> IT IS LOVE THAT WILL SAVE YOU,”

Chris would’ve punched the thing in the face but his body was frozen with fear. He evacuated his bowels instantaneously, and lying in his own fear and worship of his christian protector he saw the demon’s eyes open for the first time.

“GUNDIE,” He barked, suddenly finding his voice again. He screamed a series of expletives that would russle the feathers of even the oldest most respected Black Christian Housewives (Candace Owens, easy flex_)ANYONYMOUS>

A hand over the mouth. 

“SHHHHH…” Ogunde mouthed. Chris’s mouthless scream, hopeless at the man grabbing his cock. He even thought he liked it. He wanted to think he liked it. Each finger entering his tender anus, it would’ve felt good with lube. The monster was rooting around inside him, pulling blood and rearranging the cavities by bare strength alone. “My family, my land, my self. Was raped by your people. There is no god that can save you from me. I will take what is mine,”

A twist, and then Chris’s testicles were no longer functional. He watched them disappear down the throat of this 8 foot tall black demon. It was so strange and impossible to be loved by this creature, begging for sweet release. In missionary, begging christ or anyone to save him as he became rearranged perfectly by this storm of force.

Each piece inverted. Hell, the guy had little cuticle scissors. Better than any licensed surgeon. The boy’s new vagina was stitched back together.

Chris didn’t last long. Woke up in a hospital, his brain and body completely inverted. The family figured out he’d taken a stumble down the stairs, trying to hit the latest 4am bars as usual. He must’ve gotten into a fight with some sicko who castrated him. Emasculated completely. 

He tried to live as a woman for a while. It didn’t work. It was not his choice to regret. 

Only a shotgun provided the end that would save him. In heaven or hell, Chris didn’t die a virgin.

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[eppysboys]

John Lennon in Australia talking about Brian Epstein