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#Instagram#nhljets#sport for freedom#spud#DEAR#libraries for freedom#(i can be hammy)#lits auth#John HAMS.
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+.*i get those goosebumps every time*.+
SUMMARY: he just cant shake the feeling that somebody knows... let alone his own wife..
NICK GOODE (1994) X FEM! READER
MASTERLIST : HERE
AUTH NOTE: aahhhdgfgy first fic!! based on the song goosebumps by Travis Scott 😍😍😍😍 (update, it’s been like 5 months since i started writing this.. i’m so sorry 😭😭🫶🫶)
"hello?" you ask, twirling the landline phone cord between your index and middle finger. "shit, sorry hun.." you notice the voice instantly, its your husband Nick. "sorry forr..?" you trail off, now curious. "um.. ill be home late again." his voice is low and laced with slight malice. "oh." is all you manage to say. you turn to look back in the dining room. your children are sitting happily at the table, eating spaghetti bowls.
"are you upset?" he questions, slightly nervous. "no! its fine.. ill put your food in the fridge then.." you mumble into the speaker. he sighs before speaking again. "listen, i gotta go but ill be back when you wake up. promise." he tries to sound as cheery as possible, but you can see right through the act. "okay, bye! i love you." you murmur with a small smile as the line clicks.
something is up, you can tell. you set the phone down before heading into the dining room and picking up your husbands plate. your daughter looks up at you, her curly pigtails bouncing as she swings her legs off the chair. “mommy… where’s daddy..?” she asks, her voice laced with worry. “baby, he’s fine.. he’s just caught up with work again.” you manage a smile. she nods before going back to eating.
about 4 hours later, you hear the door open and the familiar leather shoe footsteps. your husband in all his glory walks into the living room. “well hi there..” Nick says with a small grin. he walks over to you, sitting beside you on the sofa. “how was work..?” you ask, resting your head on his shoulder. he shrugs, “boring, as per usual.” the way he says it makes you giggle. “you’re sweaty, my love.” you kiss his cheek, making him smile again.
“ouch.” he jokes, standing up again. “i’ll go have a shower then.” you nod and watch as he turns around. “and by the way, could you find me that book.. um.. the one about criminology!” he recalls, to which you respond with a small “yup!” before you too, stand up.
you hear him walk up the stairs as you reach the bookshelf. as you look around, you spot a small knob out of the corner of your eye. you try to ignore it, thinking your vision is just playing tricks on you again. that is, until a passing train nearby causes the knob to rattle. you quirk your eyebrow, setting the newly found book down on the coffee table before inspecting the round knob closer.
as you get a better look, you realise that it belongs to a trapdoor that you happen to have never noticed. ‘strange..’ you think to yourself before turning it slowly. you’d think it’d be locked, considering you’ve never noticed it in your 8 years of living in your house. but it isn’t. the door slowly creaks open and the light from inside the living room shines into the small space.
upon further inspection, you spot a few candles, all of which definitely had been lit within the last few hours considering the faint smell of candle smoke. but also another thing worth noting, the two large stones with writing etched into them. one’s been fully covered, the second having almost just been started. you can only read the last 3 lines of the second stone.
RUBY LANE
THOMAS SLATER
RYAN TORRES
you make a face, weird that the last three shady side killer names are etched into.. wait.
what..?
#nick goode#nick goode x reader#fear street#fear street 1994#writers on tumblr#writing#this is a girlblog#blurb#might turn this into a fic#cutie patootie#he’s so bf#mwah#ily all#thanks for coming to my ted talk#fyp
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Mine (Swiss Ghoul x Fem!OC)
Summary: After escaping her toxic ex-boyfriend Y/n runs to the only place that had ever made her feel safe. As a long-term friend of Copia and his ghouls she swears that she is destined to be alone forever because of her poor taste in men; what happens though wen one of her best friends disagrees and confesses something very important that may alter the relationship between them?
Fandom: Ghost (Swedish Band)
Pairing: Swiss x Fem!Reader
Triggers: Cussing, innuendos, mention of mental and physical abuse
Auth. Note: The portrayal of Ghouls and Papa is from a fandom base and imagination alone; the personas of the band do not have anything to do with the real people behind the masks. I am a fan of their music and respect their privacy so their stage persona is separate from the real-life individuals in my works.
My Workshop
She squeezed her eyes shut tightly and her teeth sank into the plush of her bottom lip as her skin sparked with fire that made it tingle. She could image the torn skin bubbling around the edges as the antiseptic killed any germs or debris that may have managed to get into her wound. She did not whimper though - she could at least take pride in that. She did not utter a sound to express the pain. It's not like the worst has come yet. A rough padded thumb pressed against her mouth gently but insistent as it pulled her lip from between her teeth as a hum broke the silence in the dimly lit room.
The lamp on the desk was their only source of light; the darkness that did not reach its border seemed foreboding and cold in the dead of night. A quick glance at the old circular clock on the wall by the door read it as nearly 2:00 a.m. in the morning causing a new sensation of guilt to tug at her heart; distracting her from the pain on her face.
"Mi cara, you should have told me sooner." his voice was soft and tinged with the readiness for sleep.
Y/n's eyes shifted from the clock to the man in front of her. Her vision was aided only by the yellowed light of the lamp beside them casting wary shadows along the man's unpainted face and the dark circles beneath his eyes causing him to take on the appearance of a human panda. His hair with brushed back but only by natural force instead of the hair gel she was used to and in this light, it looked a little greyer than usual - the black hair dye must have faded since the last time she saw him.
But instead of answering him, she reached out to playful swipe at the hair above his lips. "This is new. I don't know if I like it yet or not." she teased but the man's lips only curved downwards further causing her to sigh and drop her head a little - dislodging the attempts of cleaning the cuts along her face.
"What would you have done Copia? Whisked me away to hide me in the Abbey like a long lost remnant of the past? I'm not a little girl anymore, I can't always be relying on you to protect me like before." Y/n's voice sounded pessimistically fed up and tired.
Copia huffed out a breath and waved his hands. "Of course, I would have taken you away! You are no lost remnant of the past, principessa. You are a treasure and one of my closest friends. No... you are famiglia! Why do you insist on returning to him when you know he will only hurt you again? Won't you say yes and stay here?" the man's words ended almost pleading as his mismatched eyes stared at the younger woman in front of him with sadness in his eyes and anger in his blood.
Y/n had been such a great friend for the last several years. Before he had ever been chosen to be the next Papa, Copia was nothing but a Cardinal and in most eyes not as important as a papa but Y/n had always treated him with kindness and with humanity - treated him like a lost long friend from the get-go. He met her through his brother Terzo who was papa before him. She had been a good friend to Terzo and often visited the Abbey; making friends with the Clergy and Ghouls alike with her sunshine spirit, unique humor, and infectious smiles. Despite never joining the Clergy officially everyone who had known her during that time thought her part of the family. She just...stopped coming around after Terzo's death except on the rare occasion like tonight when she'd slink back in for safety with her tail between her legs covered in cuts and bruises because of her new boyfriend of a few months. He did not deserve her and Copia could never find it in himself to force her to stay in the safety of those she knew would never lift a finger unlike the stupid boy she dated - a boy not worthy enough to be called a man.
"I'll just...I just needed to clear my head Copia and-"
the door to papa's office burst open and a figure bent over with hands on their knees panting. Nostrils flared and hair askew from sleep stumbled in the pack with eyes filled with a frenzy. Y/n hadn't seen the ghouls often without their masks and the sight was always a wonder more than a fright to see them unglamoured with their ashen skin, claws, fangs, and extra appendages.
"Oh for satanas-" Copia threw the blooded cotton ball he had been using to clean Y/n's cuts with on the table and began to stand up but a deep growl that sounded near feral vibrated within the office and the man halted mid-motion.
Ghouls were not always as dangerous as most people would like to think. Well, not to Y/n who knew how to handle them. They were rather domesticated as they lived lives as mostly humans despite being creatures of Hell. So the woman did not startle when a lithe frame bolted forward and she was jerked forward by her shoulders. An unmasked face buried itself into her neck and she felt the puffs of exhaled warm breath along the skin of her neck as she craned it to the side submissively allowing the ghoul to take in her scent.
There was another growl of disapproval and anger as the creature pulled back and Y/n was faced with the fierce glare of the Multi Ghoul Swiss as he assessed the damage to her face.
"Tell me." his voice was pitched much lower and deeper than the usual light-hearted bantering tone she was used to. "Tell me who did this to you." he demanded
Y/n swallowed unable to look away from his piercing stare and somewhere behind the ghoul Aether's familiar tone pitched in with an apologetic look on his face.
"We smelled the blood as soon as you came into the abbey. We were worried..."
Y/n's lips curled slightly into a reassuring smile as she raised her hands to grab at the strong forearms bare and warm beneath her touch in hopes to soothe the agitated ghoul.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you guys...I forgot you guys could smell that far...I-I thought if I just came to Copia and get patched up I'd be gone by the morning and you wouldn't have to see me like this..." she trailed off.
The ghouls were always so protective and sweet with her but she and Swiss had a special bond - he was like her best friend and easy banter and flirtiness were their love language. Never had she seen him look so..so upset and feral before. Casting her gaze away from Swiss she looked over his shoulder to find Aether standing by the door watching a very irritated fire ghoul pace in front of them while Rain leaned against Mountain who was guarding the door watching with worried green and blue eyes alike. Dew was pacing back and forth; clawed hands flexing while every once in a while he'd look her way only to growl every so often under the watchful gaze of Aether. the scent of blood must be getting to him; Dewdrop was always the most sensitive when it came to blood and she wouldn't have been surprised if he had been the one to smell her first and alert the others. Ghouls were just like that but if one of their own was injured the entire pack was on high alert.
"W-well now that you've been found out I suppose there is no use running away now hmm?" Copia sighed rising to his feet and rubbing a hand through his hair. "All of you off to bed now. Mi care you can stay-"
Swiss didn't allow Copia to finish and instead, his arms wrapped around the girl and hoisted her up so quickly she squeaked and wrapped around him like a koala. Thighs and arms holding on tightly as he braced her against his lean body and pushed past his pack mates to walk down the halls towards the Ghouls den.
"Swiss." Y/n grumbled feeling her cheeks flush in the darkness but due to the amazing night vision of these creatures, she knew he probably saw it anyway.
"Mountain can fix you up and then you're coming to bed with me." the multi-ghoul snapped back causing Y/n to wince at his tone.
He did not let go or say anything until they were safely back in the Ghoul's common rooms. She was directed into Swiss' familiar room filled to the brim with music posters, music sheets, instruments, and more shapes within the darkness Y/n was not able to make out as she was plopped on the large bed big enough for more than just two. Her back was pulled flush to Swiss' chest as he yanked her by her waist to him; curling around her from behind like some kind of inhumane ghoul cape causing warmth to spread through her as she heard the subtle sniffing and the almost inaudible growl the multi ghoul let out; it was almost so silent that she felt it against her back more than hearing it.
Mountain kneeled in front of the pair with a jar in his hand filled with some kind of creamy gel inside tinted a sickly green and when he opened it the scent of earth, pine, and something almost spicy invaded her nose making her cough when it got inhaled too deeply into her lungs. The tall ghoul gave a slight rumble of amusement before his attention was drawn toward the ghoul draped over her back.
"May I?" he asked quietly and Y/n's mouth turned into a confused frown as she glanced between the pair.
Why was Mountain asking Swiss' permission? She was the one that was injured but the way her best friend tensed against her back for a moment had her ignoring the silent question in her mind and reaching up to grab at the toned forearm wrapped around her chest and gave it a few soothing strokes with her fingers. That seemed to do the trick as she felt his body slacken against her again and Mountain made a soothing noise as if in thanks to the other before dipping his fingers into the sticky mess in the jar.
He reached out towards her face and the cold substance felt almost tingly against her skin as he carefully smeared it along the bruise on her cheekbone and then returned with a new dap of whatever cream it was to the cut on her other cheek causing her to hiss out in pain as the minty tingly feeling invaded the open cut with more potency than the antiseptic crap Copia had dabbed it with earlier. The sound of pain slipping from her caused Swiss to snarl startling her and lurch forward toward Mountain nearly tumbling her along with him but Mountain seemed to have already predicted it and jerked backward just as Rain who had by this point gone unnoticed grabbed Swiss by his shoulders from where he had been perched in the bed beside them silent as a mouse to tug him back against his smaller frame; a chittering noise coming from him as he tried to soothe the other.
Y/n half turned to look at the pair with wide eyes and a hand instinctively placing it on the heaving chest behind her. "Hey there big boy, it's okay! Calm down Swiss. Mountain didn't hurt me...it's okay." she tried to soothe with a fake smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.
Swiss bared his fangs again and struggled but despite the smaller frame of Rain at his back, the little ghoul was rather strong; strong enough to keep the other at bay.
"Mine!"
Y/n blinked and she inhaled sharply at the proclamation. Something in side of her seemed to click into place as she stared at how feral Swiss seemed to be and she reached out to test the theory as she rested her hand on Mountain's large shoulder only to have Swiss struggling anew and causing Rain to grunt when an elbow jabbed him in the stomach.
"Okay! Okay! Swiss hey! Look at me!" Y/n's hand yanked back and she flapped it at the other two quickly. "GO! I can handle this. You're just making him more agitated-"
"But Y/n-" Rain piped up and she shook her head once sharply.
"I think you know what's going on....and Swiss and I have to talk. But we can't talk if he's riled up right now...please just..." she sighed rubbing her forehead. "It's been a long night."
A long night that was not yet over as Mountain gave a brief nod and recapped the jar. Helping Rain off of Swiss so that the pair could slip from the room. As soon as Y/n and Swiss were alone the lanky male pulled the girl to him. Sprawling her unceremoniously on top of him as he held her almost too tightly while burying his face into her neck.
"Oof!" Y/n pushed at his stomach to get leverage but it only caused the other to tighten his hold.
So Y/n waited while Swiss calmed down enough for her to shift into a more comfortable position. Her face lifted to meet his in the dimly lit room.
"I'm going to kill him."
"You can't kill Mountain, Swiss."
The other snorted and pressed his nose against her hair; inhaling her scent like it was the last thing on earth. "I'm talking about the bastard that hurt you."
Y/n went silent. She didn't need to ask how he knew who it was; the ghoul's scent was inhuman - that was already proven when the pack barged into Copia's office earlier.
"He is my boyfriend...well I mean, ex-boyfriend now I guess." Y/n found herself relaxing with her head resting against her best friend's shoulder while she tucked herself into his body.
"He usually doesn't go this far...But, he said that I was cheating on him with my co-worker because he saw me eating lunch with him. It was a meeting to discuss a project we were working on together as a team...Ironically, my co-worker is actually gay so. Jokes on him."
"Is this the same guy....you said you met on that dating app a few months ago? Is that why you haven't been coming by as often?" Swiss' voice finally spoke into the darkness
She shrugged slightly and played with the fabric of his sleep shirt. "Yeah...I guess. I'd like to say it was because of work but...I think we both knew it wasn't. I'm sorry...for not telling you sooner. I usually called Copia to meet me outside so my scent wouldn't get to you guys..." She felt her eyes sting with tears.
"I've been so fucking stupid. I'm sorry Swiss...I'm so fucking sorry." her body trembled with her tears and the ghoul felt his heart tighten as did his arms around her to hold her still against him.
"Aw sweets, you didn't have to hold it from me...you're my best friend...me and the pack...for satanas sake Y/n we'd have pulled you out of there sooner, baby." he closed his eyes tightly and hugged her for his own comfort as much as hers.
They held each other; taking comfort for the turmoil that resided in both of their hearts due to tonight's endeavor. But it was Y/n that finally calmed down enough to speak; her voice suddenly shy as she sniffed back the rest of her tears.
"Hey Swiss..." she asked tentatively. When she received a lulling hum that vibrated into her chest from his she continued. "W-what did you mean earlier?...."
"Hmm?"
"You told Mountain..." she swallowed. "You called me yours."
Swiss' body still unnaturally so beneath her and she feared she'd said something wrong. They were best friends...it wasn't as if they hadn't talked about such things before. Well, perhaps more sexual innuendos before but that was teasing jokes and jabs. The question seemed too personal and yet a delicate matter.
"What do you know about ghouls, Y/n?" Swiss finally asked and she blinked at the soft question.
"Well, I mean you're demons...you got abilities... you're packing animals in a way and a little animalistic at times since you're not human...And you were summoned here for a reason. Why?" she tilted her head up to find that surprisingly Swiss' ashen skin was tinged with blush and he wouldn't meet her gaze.
"What comes with being a pack animal?" he insisted licking his lips
Y/n frowned thoughtfully but when she didn't reply Swiss continued. "Every creature has a partner...some animals have homosexual partnerships and others normal; some when are in close pack dynamics there is more than one partner they spend the rest of their lives with...but to continue the species every animal must have a significant other...have you ever noticed how Rain and Mountain seem close? Closer than the usual familial pack dynamics? O-Or how Dew and I are close in the same way..."
He watched slowly as the information dawned on her and Y/n pushed herself up with a pinched brow. "Are you telling me Mountain and Rain are life partners and you and Dew too?" she blinked at him. "I mean no judgment from me obviously but damn. That's news." she laughed a bit and sat up to sit crisis cross on his bed.
Swiss looked a bit frustrated as he too sat up. "Sweetheart you aren't understanding...Mates are overly protective of each other and have a stronger bond that goes deeper than a pack dynamic bond. The way Dew was acting when we barged in tonight at Copia's office...h-how I acted earlier...and nearly tore Mountain's throat out?" his eyes were insistent as he leaned closer scanning her face.
Realization dawned slowly like the sun rising over the horizon during sunrise and Swiss felt his heart constrict with nerves. "Swiss are you...."
His breath came out like a balloon popping and his head dropped to his head. "Shit baby. Dew doesn't even realize it yet...I had figured it out during your last visit before Tero's death but I didn't want to say anything because I was scared to scare you off..I didn't realize that I had almost lost you and when I saw you tonight I just- the blood...the knowledge..the fact that I hadn't seen you in such a long time I just-"
Y/n's hands gripped the front of his shirt and she was yanking him in before he could finish his ramblings. His mouth tasted too damn good as she pressed her lips to his. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she took in the sensation of kissing her best friend - it was so natural and made her feel whole...loved in a way she hadn't in such a long time. It was nothing like kissing her ex-boyfriend and a small part of her brain stupidly smacked her for being so blind to have seen the signs earlier.
When the air became too thin within the confinements of their lungs they parted with panting breaths but Swiss kept her close with a firm hold on her face; pressing his forehead to hers and crowding her against the mattress where she lay flat on her back staring up at him with wide eyes as she searched his face.
"You didn't lose me." her words came shaky as her hands loosened in his shirt only to slide up his back to hold him closer to her. "I'm sorry I was so blind...I didn't realize," she whispered feeling her throat constrict thinking that she'd isolated herself for so long because of her ex-boyfriend she missed out on finding the man she really wanted all along was right in front of her.
"Shh..." Swiss' lips pecked hers again before drawing her into another deep kiss - this time it was sweet and lingering. "I would have waited...shit, I would have been happy just to be near you even if you never knew..."
"I wouldn't have...I would have missed you and the others...the abbey and the papas too much to stay arm's length away from you guys. You guys are my home." her eyes sparkled looking up at him and Swiss shot her a toothy grin.
"So...you gonna stay?"
"Do I have a choice?" she teased rubbing her nose against his and was rewarded with a chittering sound as the multi-ghoul lowered himself fully on her and rested his head against her chest; listening to her heartbeat.
"Not anymore." his hands gripped her sides to hold her as he nuzzled at her collarbone.
Y/n laughed and sank her fingers into his curls and scraped at his scalp like she knew he liked it. "I'm all yours Swiss." she promised.
"Uh...well actually.." Swiss tilted his head up with a tentative smile.
She linked at him. "Dew doesn't know does he?"
"Well...no."
"Oh, I'm so telling him!"
"You are not!" fingers pressed to her sides causing her to shriek in laughter and wiggle beneath his hold.
When she couldn't breathe anymore Swiss stole whatever breath she did have left in her lungs with a kiss before pulling away to stare down at her. His hand came up to stroke along the side of her face and he gave her a softened smile as he rested their foreheads together again.
"Well, I suppose I can get used to my boyfriend having a boyfriend..." Y/n finally conceded with an airy but playful tone. "However will I handle two boyfriends to love me?"
Swiss grinned "Oh...I have a few ideas...." his grin turned a little more seductive and Y/n felt her heat flush.
"No...Swiss hey...no! Bad ghoul!" she scrambled from beneath him - a feat she knew he allowed while she scampered across the room and flung open the door with a wail of excited panic.
"Dew!!!"
Swiss gave a toothy grin that nearly split his face before he was launching himself down the hall full force into a chase.
Auth. Note: This is my first Ghost Band one shot so I hope it's not too bad and is entertaining at best for you guys! I love this band so much that it's unhealthy. More to come if people are interested! I have a full list of one-shots for this fandom <3
#the band ghost#swiss ghoul#swiss army ghoul#cardinal copia#ghost band#ghost#nameless ghouls#Ghost oneshot#Swiss Ghoul oneshot#Swiss ghoul x reader
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"One day, we'll all dance in the link."
The silent hallways of a steadily transiting haul-ship, lit by dim red lights and clusters of stars outside its view ports, are disturbed with the muted footsteps of a pilot's off-duty sneakers. Her steps are light as she breaks the cyclical night curfew, keeping to the less frequented corridors. Most of the night-crew are just performing navigation, sensors and engineering tasks—a skeleton crew.
From her pocket, she fetches a small handheld device. Provided by a trusted mechanic, it's loaded with a simple program which spoofs a valid night-shift keycard, and then runs an exploit which should clear the auth logs on the access panel before it reports back to home. They said it was a simple hack all things considered, but that stuff was never her forte.
The door to the drop hanger was right ahead. As instructed, she held the device to the flat grey panel affixed to the wall, and to their word, it flashed a quick green and then a blue as the logs were wiped. The door opens with a hiss, and the pilot wastes no time crossing the threshold and striding towards her destination.
A bulky frame, with sleek lines and medium range armament, sits patiently in its transit harness just in front of her, nestled amongst other frames of similar design. Pock-marked burns from a long history of combat sorties remain visible as marks of experience. Emblazoned on the shoulder plating is an insignia featuring the head of an African wild dog from the old world, and the mech's name"Pictus" in bold lettering. She reaches out and trails her fingers down cold alloy skin, whispering gently.
"Hey lovely, I missed you."
Transit time doesn't permit much link time between pilots and their mechs, seen as wasteful up time for a mech confined in a tightly spaced drop harness for extended periods of time. The routine maintenance already makes sure that the mechs will be ready when it comes time for them to drop into hell. Perhaps it makes sense in a budgetary and combat readiness context on some detatched and dull report somewhere in the navy archive, but fuck if it doesn't leave a pilot yearning.
There's movement from behind Pictus, and panic briefly spikes within the pilot before giving way to recognition. A mechanic—her mechanic—glides towards her with a pretty smile dancing on their lips. Pretty enough for her to rush forward into their arms and steal it with a kiss. They hold eachother close, shadowed by Pictus; a mech which they mutually pilot, care for, and love. Pictus flickers her idle light nestled into the torso hatch, and the pair smiles, understanding intention in the gesture.
"Oh, she definitely missed you," the mechanic replies on the mech's behalf, motioning with their eyes to Pictus, "was being a real brat with fault codes earlier this cycle."
A light giggle gets muffled into the mechanics shoulder, the pilot swaying with her partner. It wasn't often they got to spend time either between pilot simulations & briefings, tight maintenance windows, and other operational busy work. Their relationship gets caught in the middle of it, and she'd be lying if she said it didn't cause hardships between them. All of that goes away with the way they drop a kiss into the short curls atop her head. Even when they eventually pull away from the embrace, she still feels like everything is just right. There's just one missing piece...
"Alright, I'm sure she can't stand waiting much longer with you here. Let's get you linked up before she decides to break loose from the harness! You know she hates being in standby for too long," they say amusedly, turning towards Pictus. Twisting and pulling hard on an embedded handle on the torso, they reveal the cockpit behind the heavy hatch. A well worn seat, system control panels, and a neural link harness sit dormant inside. The mechanic helps their pilot climb inside, the pilot sporting just a t-shirt and sweats as she sits down on the seat of their machine of war.
"Let's wake you up a little," the pilot says, eyeing the controls around her. She first confirms that ground power is connected and active, poking the rotary switch with a finger in affirmation and noting a green light. Then came the internal running lights, and bringing the pilot assist intelligence out of standby mode. Finally, a single switch remained: the toggle for the neural link. She patiently waits while her mechanic climbs in with her.
The mechanic straddles their pilot in her seat, while their calloused hands reach behind and above the seat, snatching the end of the link harness. They bring it to an embedded metal port in the back of her neck, caressing it sweetly with a hand, while they lean their forehead against hers. Their eyebrows furrow.
"If only I could join you both..."
And the pilot surges forward to kiss them, affirming and lovingly. She reaches a hand behind their neck as well, tracing a circle with her thumb, roughly the size of a neural interface port, over unmarred skin. The pilot whispers into their lips, spoken like a promise.
"One day, my love. We'll have you augmented too, and we'll dance in the link together with Pictus."
They open their eyes, seeing their pilot gazing deeply at them. They believe her. A smile tugs at the corners of their mouth and they remove the hand from her neck. With a notchy click, they firmly fit the harness cable into her nerual port. She briefly winces in discomfort, the feeling of metal bumping against metal within her never feels amazing, but it's followed by a satisfied smile as she knows the only thing left holding her back from Pictus is a single switch.
Her hand reaches over instinctually, but is stopped short when her mechanic grabs it. She looks at them, their soft gaze melting her heart then and there. They guide her hand over to the switch, her index finger just behind the small metal lever. With one final kiss of her mechanic lover, she flicks it, and the link opens like a flood gate.
lovelovelovelovelovelovelove
LoveLoveLoveLoveLoveLove
LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE
Data flows, and the link echoes a feedback loop of feelings and emotions, as a machine of war welcomes her loved pilot home, and she feels just as strongly. It's an exclamation, a declaration, a bio-technical embrace, and it is everything.
The mechanic watches their pilot slump in her seat, a goofy smile growing by the moment as she runs abandon within the link. They curl up into her lap, resting as close as they possibly can to their two loves. They drift off and dream beautiful dreams of dancing in the link with all of them.
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Birthday Weekend (33rd)
I could just get down on my knees and cry out my appreciation for this man. A trip to Austin including a place to stay, a one-of-a-kind omakase experience, brunch, feral go-karting, thoughtful gifts, and (as always) accepting me when I'm below my ideal self.
It started with racing to the city. I had been dragging all Saturday morning despite being so excited on Friday that I dressed nice to work and didn't sleep a full 8 hours. But I guess staying at work until 9pm will do that to you LOL. Before that, I'd had another psych follow-up....the next med to be trialed is Fetzima. After a prior auth. We all know my anxiety surrounding psych meds but also WE KNOW that I have to keep trying them.
Anyway, getting to Austin. I got there about 30 minutes before he did and spent the time settling in and catching up with Rilley. I spent a good few moments taking in the beauty of the bedroom. So pink, so cozy. So comforting and delicate of an aura with the light diffusing through the pink curtains of the tall windows. The bed: shades of pink and the natural blond of the wooden bed frame. (Later I'd be looking up at the pink tones of his face framed by blond hair and note that I was completely swallowed mind, body, heart, and soul by him and this room.) Then he pulled up in his little black Honda and we hugged. He was sweaty from driving his car for 3 hours with its not-so-great A/C; it gets overwhelmed in these temperatures and just won't put out ice cold air until the sun goes down. Getting inside, I joked with him that I knew why he picked this place, that it was the movie-related art and posters on the walls. But it was also a nice place right off of a popular road. In a neighborhood he said was well-liked for remaining mostly like Old Austin. At some point in the weekend he taught me about Moon Towers.... (maybe it was driving back from picking up pizza after the go-karting)
Once he told me about dinner reservations I shifted into getting ready. He asked if I really needed all of that time to get ready. OO HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS COMING. I started on my make-up and got him into the shower. Partly for the sweat and partly so I could sneak into the gift I got him for our six-month anniversary. Which was that day! The 10th of August. From the adrenaline of sexy conspiracy and the caffeine blood sugar fuckery that comes from not eating since breakfast, I was pretty shaky. But I got it all together. Oh, man.... The look on his face when he saw it. When it clicked together that I'd prepared him something special. Something I thought he'd really like. His face lit up and his hands were magnets to my body. I teased him. We played a little but ultimately I wouldn't let him kiss me too much 'to not ruin the make-up ;)' --agh, if I had known I was going to feel so ill after dinner I wouldn't have teased him so hard. I would have let him enjoy so much more. "You can do anything dressed like that." But anyway-- After some photos and fooling around and a shoe placed suggestively to a crotch, I changed into my actual dinner dress and we hopped in an uber and got to the place. The driver was a little insane, we noted later.
Dinner was wonderful. We had our usual endless conversation and joking, taking turns making fun of each other, making each other laugh.
Then, very unfortunately, so much discomfort and fatigue after dinner. He was so supportive. I still wish it had gone differently, though. I thought I saw pain or some combination of strong emotions when he stood behind me in the bathroom mirror and held me the way he always does.
We woke up and quickly made up for things not had the night before. I asked for him to be gentle. And he was. He always gives what I ask for. With such love. And this time I was the one almost overwhelmed by how powerful our connection is. But only because I still wasn't feeling 100% and had less 'spoons' to eat the moment with. I cried after. I was thinking of how lonely I was for so long and feeling that sadness at the same time I was feeling gratitude for being home at last.
You know.... Pink is becoming a color I think I like. I always preferred blues and green. But he's so pink. And now I have a pink bedframe because I liked the way it looks. And it happens to go so nicely with gray bedding which I also happened to pick out (after I picked it, I learned gray is his favorite color for linens). But luckily he has those blue/green/gray eyes too. My own eyes can never decide what they're seeing. And those two dark spots.
We got to brunch. Then relaxed (he rubbed my feet) and I took a power nap. We made it to go-karting. Played some arcade games while we waited. Just like our first date after the museum and park and food.
I felt accomplished after that. And it was super fun.
Then we picked up pizza on the way home. I showered and we ate. Then he got up and said "okay, time to open presents" .... I don't think I'll ever properly be able to describe his tone of voice. The sweetness kills me to think back on. He had me to to the bedroom for a couple minutes. Then came in and sat on the bed and joked that I was going to go to sleep. I walked back to the main area and saw a few packages wrapped in light pink wrapping paper with darker pink hearts sitting on the 'living room' table. I couldn't believe it. Even after all he curated for me this weekend, there were still gifts. A Diptyque candle--I could not believe paid his own money and got me one of my ridiculous candles that no one but me should ever buy for me lmao but it was also so him because he got me a special edition candle that was only available for a week for the Paris olympics--it is a powdery floral and linen scent. A book-shaped item that turned out to be a picture book of all our photos so far. Well, mostly ones of me. But this makes sense because they're the ones he's taken. I would have rather had most of them be US but I think it was meant to show me how he sees me. Show me his half of our relationship. Remind me that I'm loved and adored by him. The object of his attention. Something to capture. And what I guessed was a stuffed animal puppy (so he could say he got me a dog) but ended up being even better: a wolf. I said I'd put his cologne on it and cuddle it when I missed him. What I'd really need is to get the scent of his under arms on it, but I don't think his blue gel deodorant would transfer well to a stuffed animal. Then I read his card. IT MADE ME CRY SO HARD. I'll put it on here tomorrow or this week. I turned to him and said, "That's so nice." I hugged him tight. And if that wasn't all enough he had a damn Cameo from Chris Pontius. I scream-laughed at hearing him acknowledge that I had written Jackass fanfiction. And it was sooo funny and soooo Pontius the way he kept trying to keep going and hit all these bullet points that were probably written right next to the camera. I could not believe it. 100% fever dream. And a good way to end the gifts after reading that heart-wrenching card.
We went to bed. He asked if he could hold me....he always does ask and he never needs to but I still like hearing it. He said it didn't have to be for long since he knows I've gone back to having difficulty sleeping next to him (after we've been more into LDR territory the past few months). I said I didn't care. And in the morning, after his alarm went off a couple times and we snoozed those couple times, he said in my left ear, "happy birthday" ---- and let me tell you it felt like I've heard it before and I'll hear it every time until one or both of us are no longer here.
It's these moments. This magic. This familiarity even within firsts. These things register him in my mind and in my body as mine. Completely. In the way I've always wanted someone to be mine. The kind of mine I had to mature to have. I had to wait for it. But now that he's here
You know, that's why I think he doesn't feel real some times. He was the one I was always hoping for. It's a little hard to adjust to a space that's finally filled after a lifetime of wishing. To finally see what he looks like. To learn about him. To let him know me.
It's been six months and it only gets more profound. More beautiful. Deeper.
I'm excited to build a life with you, too, Steven.
P.S. some random tidbits I remembered afterward-- it was my "real" birthday this year (I was born on a Monday). Him getting out of bed to get my lip balm for me. The restaurant giving me a card signed by the staff.
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dare me was god tier for being ten episodes of women constructing intricate rituals and utilizing a pearl by mitski
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4*TOWN Meet-Cute ??
Gen. ;; Fluff + the tiniest amounts of angst - Headcanons/Scenarios
Warnings ;; Mild Swearing + Crying + Stressful situations + Semi-Detailed Description of Murder + Brief Mention of Torture ?? (THIS ISN'T AS BAD AS IT SOUNDS I SWEAR !!)
Proofread + edited ;; Yes !! :)
Auth. Note ;; These are pretty long - I got to know the character and my interpretation of each of them as I wrote which was pretty fun but made these so long to write. Enjoy !!
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Aaron T - Meet-Funny ??
I like to think there were a lot of small instance before y'all went just fuck it, we see each other every day, we're basically besties now
The first probably being at your place of work
You work at a cinema (movie theatre) and your job is to clear up after the movie ends
You absolutely hate when people make huge messes (i'm looking at you entitled parents with messy kids) and then just leave them alongside all of their snacks and drinks on the seats and floor
There's bins on the way out people, you have hands, just please-
T was supposed to watch a movie with the rest of 4*TOWN but those backstabbing motherfucking traitors silly billys ditched him
So now he's sobbing in the back of a semi-lit cinema room (i don't know the word bro please-) by himself, clutching onto an almost empty box of popcorn
Lucky for you, you're tasked with the job of getting T to chill out with the ugly crying and leave so you can finish cleaning up
The movie probably wasn't even sad
Bet it was Zootropolis (Zootopia)
Aaron T is just sitting there, blubbering away, whilst mumbling along to Shakira
As he should, honestly
While you calm him down you also manage to clean up any mess around his seats (the ones the rest of the group were going to be sat in before they decided to ditch poor T)
After you finish your cleaning you guide him out of the showing room (someone please tell me what it's called i beg-)
You're just awkwardly standing outside of the showing room door as he sobs into your shoulder
I mean, wtf do you do in that kind of situation
The amount of looks you got was humiliating
Please-
Just imagine trying to become one with the wall as a grown man ugly cries into your shoulder and people stare at you like you just killed his pet guinea pig (Giles the 4th)
Unfortunately for you, you don't have to imagine - this actually happened
"Uh...there, there...it's okay..."
Eventually T calms down, reduced to the occasional sniffle
He thanks you and shuffles away to who knows where
And that was the last time you ever saw him
At least, it was
Then you saw him again but those are some stories for another day!!
You definitely left that situation with not-so-positive feelings about the ugly crier from row M
But after a day or two to comprehend whatever that was you begin to find the situation a lot more funny
It brings a smile to your face, especially whenever you remember what movie he was watching
Every time you think back on it you find a new element of the situation
The fact he was watching a kids movie all by himself
He was crying whilst whisper-singing Shakira
He had the whole row to himself
And most of the showing room tbh
Overall you're left with fond amusement when you think back on the ugly crier from row M
T on the other hand thought you were some kind of angel fr
Kind of thought it was funny
Someone who stayed with him despite his dramatics ?? An immediate 10
But when he tells the other guys what happened he's immediately shut down
Like,, T didn't even think of half of the things the boys bring up
HE WAS SOBBING ON SOME POOR, RANDOM EMPLOYEE'S SHOULDER WHEN THEY PROBABLY WANTED TO GO ON BREAK
Mans is mortified
Kinda wishing he didn't tell the boys about this one...
Ignorance is bliss after all and he misses that shit fr
T is thankful that you were so patient and kind but he's embarrassed af now and kinda wishes he was swallowed by the Earth
Jesse - Meet-Cute ??
Guess the trend in these meets
Jesse isn't exactly crying when you first meet him but he sure isn't smiling
Nah this man is down an alleyway, clutching his phone to his ear with the strength of 5 bears
Okay but on a serious note
It's early afternoon, around 2:45pm and you're on a mission
There is no milk
You searched the fridge back to front, side to side and...nothing
You even checked the cupboards for that gross powder milk that you add water to but alas, there was none to be found
So now you're going impromptu grocery shopping
So yeah you grabbed the milk you need plus some lollipops and chocolate
so you began your journey back home
Jesse is in a nearby alley on the verge of a breakdown
You see, he has a full schedule - all day rehearsals, band meetings, interviews, etc.
His kids get off school at 3:00pm
And the babysitter he hired just canceled on him
So yeah, forgive the guy if he's not in tip-top shape at the moment
And it's not like he's got a backup because the babysitter was his backup
Originally his ex was supposed to be taking the kids but their car broke down
Which is fine because they let Jesse know ahead of time
THIS BABYSITTER HOWEVER?? NOT SO MUCH
So there's no backup for the backup
And he has an interview in 5 minutes that he can't miss
So of course when you see some poor bloke with his head in his hands sitting in the nastiest alleyway you've ever seen you're a little bit concerned.
Is he homeless? Dying? Just got broken up with? What's his deal?
You're no expert but you're not convinced many homeless people have access to the expensive clothing he's wearing
Dying...well he's breathing but it's not like you can see his face so the options not completely out yet
Best to just check...
You kind of just hover at the entrance of the alleyway for a bit,
Opening up with a "Hey, man, you alright?"
Immediately regretting it because does he look alright??
Wishing you'd never opened your mouth and wanting to disintegrate into nothingness
Jesse looks up at you with the most tired looking eyes you've ever seen
Honestly heart wrenching
You walk the rest of the way down the alley and crouch near him, offering a small smile
You dig around in the plastic bag you were given to transport your goodies + milk and pull out a strawberry-flavoured lollipop
"Here."
Jesse takes it, returning a watery smile and a small "Thanks..."
You ask about what's going on with him and he rambles about the situation which quickly turns into a full-blown rant as he unwraps the lollipop
The thought of offering to pick up his kids enters your mind before you realise just how creepy that would be
Not to worry though because before you can beat yourself up mentally Jesse brings your attention back
By asking you to pick up his kids...
Is this man that desperate or does he just not believe in kidnappers?
Luckily you aren't a kidnapper so it's fine
Anyway, you accept, asking where he'd like you to drop his kids off and when he'd be able to come and meet them
And also where their school is...that's kinda important
Do they have a password so they know whoever's picking them up is safe?
Que panic #2
Seriously this man is not with it today
That's okay
Take your time
But not too much time because these kids need someone to pick them up
"Hey, it's okay, try one question at a time, whichever you have a definite answer to, okay? We're gonna get your kids home safely, don't worry."
Someone get you a medal holy shit-
Once you carefully extract the necessary info from Jesse you make preparations to get the kids
You make it on time, if not a minute or two late
And now you have two very hyper kids on your hands
Looking back on it you feel pretty bad for Jesse
Poor guy has so much on his shoulders; you have this strong, very sudden urge to lift that weight
Strange..
Later on when he collects his kids from you he's the sweetest, most thankful person ever
And now his kids adore you
Probably because you gave them some of your sweets but don't tell Jesse
Are you their new babysitter? They sure hope so!
Overall you find his love for his kids charming and he seems very sweet.
His kids are adorable little terrors but you wouldn't mind seeing them again
He thinks you're amazing - an angel!
Genuinely the kindest person ever-
He worships the ground you walk on basically
Aaron Z - Meet-Ugly to Meet-Cute ??
Oh god please-
You thought this man hated you (for good reason tbh-)
You and Z both attend the same weekend basketball club, they're unimportant games, just for fun y'know ??
Somehow you are always put on opposite teams to each other and this man guns for you every single time without fail
It's beginning to piss you off tbh
Like,, what is his problem ??
Just what did you do to make him so intent on destroying your bones ??
Anyways
It's another weekend and you're hyped for another match, maybe not for Z to attempt murder but for everything besides that !!
Not to be dramatic but one more stunt and you're going to explode
You liked to think you were pretty fair when it comes to things like this,, some people are just competitive but come on !!
This is just targeted now !!
When you get to the sport center you've hyped yourself up for either a battle to the death or a normal game basketball, though either could be considered a battle to death when Z's on the court
That was not a compliment...no one tell him you thought that !!
Please-
ANYWAY
You make your way over to the team listing for the week, scanning for your name...aha !!
Team B
You quickly look over your teammates
And your stomach drops
How...how after all this time
You've been put on the same team as Aaron Z
More like arrogant
On the bright side, at least he won't be gunning for you anymore-
Is what you thought
And you were partially right...
BECAUSE NOW HE'S NOT ACKNOWLEDGING YOU AT ALL
What fresh bs is this-
What is his problem ??
Luckily your other teammates include you when Z isn't hogging the ball
That's it !!
You may not know what his problem with you is but you're going to find out, no matter what it takes
So like any normal, sane person you corner him once he's come out of the changing rooms
Yeah...desperate times call for desperate measures and you are so far beyond that-
Immediately Z is flustered, you can almost feel the sudden heatwaves emanating from his face
"What is your problem? Have I done something to you? What is it?"
The meekest "what?" paired with the widest eyes
You are beyond pissed and fired up-
"Why do you keep acting like a jerk on the court? You always gun for me like I personally killed your grandma and then ate the last of her special cookies and then today you completely ignored me when I was open most of, if not all of the game!"
Deep breath
"So spill. Why do you hate me so much?"
Your interrogations are met with a lot of mumbling as Z desperately avoids eye contact
You raise an eyebrow, "I can't hear you, would you mind upping the volume a bit?"
"...'cause...wan..s..you..."
You sigh and take a step back, noticing how close you'd gotten
"Sorry, but I genuinely cannot hear you, do you mind repeating?"
You notice that Z's trembling and your mind reels
What had you done...
Maybe he was just competitive and didn't realise your perspective
you're a terrible person
"I'm so, so sorr-"
"I WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU!"
what?
Z is huffing and puffing as he calms down, still noticeably shaky and entirely red in the face
"You're good at what you do and I thought...that if I showed off on the court and...y'know... you'd think I was cool..."
As Aaron Z pushes himself through his voice gradually gets smaller and smaller as the embarrassment gets to him
And then he runs away
I'm not kidding
Mans said abort and hit the ground running (didn't make sense not to live for fun-)
Overall I'd say you're fairly shocked and need a few minutes...or days to digest what just happened
And Z is mortified and wants to cease existing
He's seriously contemplating never returning to the weekend basketball meets but don't worry, the boys are making sure he doesn't quit life <3
Once you've recuperated thought it's safe to say you're flustered as anything
Mentally going over ways to talk to Z in the future now that you've found out he's not you're worst enemy
Funny how things happen, isn't it ??
Robaire - Meet-Cute !!
Don't you just hate when your package gets lost or when your mail is delivered to the wrong address?
So does Robaire
He hates that it's been happening for 3 months, even more !!
No matter how hard he tries to contact the companies he buys the packages from or the mail office that's meant to deliver to him, it never gets sorted
And he's kind of running out of options here
And patience
Especially considering the fact that everyone else seems to be getting their mail just fine !!
So what gives ??
Now imagine receiving tons of mail and packages that aren't yours and you didn't order but they don't have return address
Yeah, that's your reality
What do you do with that ??
You've tried locating the original address but try as you might you can't find it
Either Google's been taking some hard drugs or this address is completely locked to the public
But then why are the packages being delivered to you !?
So you do what any person at the end of their patience does and you put out an ad listing some of the mail and packages you've wrongly received, and the beginning of the address.
And, of course, you get plenty of private and public messages reaching out for the lost mail but none of them can seem to finish the address
So the mail remains lost another day
Now imagine Robaire's surprise when an add for his packages pops up on his feed
So obviously he rushing to private message you as fast as humanly possible
His first questions is whether you still have his stuff because damn, that would be frustrating if you'd given it away already
"Hello, yes I do still have all of the packages and mail in my possession, unopened. I completely understand your frustration at this mix-up! However, despite this, I am going to have to ask you to complete the address listed in the ad, I'm sure you understand why. Thank you <3"
Robaire didn't think he'd ever been more thankful for a message in his life, but there we go
Once confirming his full address, Robaire noted that you became a lot more relaxed and informal in your texting style
"Oh thank god !! You have no idea how many fakers have reached out to me so far lolol"
"Really? I'd be offended but I know first hand just how cool those packages are - I bought them!"
"Pfffttttt for sure dude, whatever you say lolol"
"Bet you've got some weird anime merch in there somewhere"
"Why'd you order so much stuff if you knew they weren't delivering any of it to you"
"Kind of just hoped they would in the end, I guess. But turns out I have my package savior so I don't need to hope anymore ;)"
Robaire was having fun talking to you and you were having fun too
It was weird how quickly you clicked considering the circumstances !!
Or maybe that made it less weird, who knows ??
You two chatted back and forth for a while
But eventually you made plans to meet up so you could give Robaire his mail
But the chats didn't end there
Even when one person had to go as soon as they got back you two were continuing the conversation as if it never stopped
Some real sappy shit
And you're surprised to find you two click just as easily in person as you do online (maybe all the chats helped)
Or maybe that's because Robaire is a complete charmer but we can't be sure
You're definitely saved into his phone as "Package Savior <3"
He's saved into yours as "mY pAcKAgeS!!" (read that in the voice of the "my cabbages" guy from avatar, i beg-)
Overall y'all became fast "friends"
Flirtationship before the word was invented y'know ??
Tae Young is convinced it's fate that brought you two together
Robaire doesn't really care if it was fate or a coincidence, he's just glad to have you in his life (aw <3)
Tae Young - Meet-Cute !!
The park near your work was a popular place to go for lunch breaks
Many people liked the peaceful atmosphere of it
Others liked the beauty
You were no exception
You liked that none of your coworkers were anywhere in sight
You were on your lunch break and if anyone disturbed you you'd be going back a felon and they would be going six feet under
Exaggeration ?? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !! No.
You had spent an extra time working whilst Jennifer took her "lunch break" AND SAT READING A MAGAZINE FOR AN HOUR
So yeah, this lunch break was off limits
NO INTERRUPTIONS ALLOWED
But not everyone in the park was as gloomy as you
Tae Young was happily training one of his newest foster doves nearby
He was thinking of naming her Sunny !!
Sunny was probably one of his more nervous rescues but Tae Young knows how to deal with that easily so it wasn't a particular concern of his
That's actually what these training exercises were meant to be helping with;; Tae Young hoped to bring the young dove of her shell
It wasn't the most successful but slow and steady wins the race !!
Speaking of success, your interruption-free lunch break was going amazing, thank you very much
Jennifer is still on your hate list but the soothing atmosphere in the park was helping calm you down
Like,, before you would've tortured her until she begged for death
Now you'd just stab her in the throat and watch her bleed out !!
...it's still progress, okay ??
A sudden, unexpected weight settling on your head dragged you from your murder plot
And the cries of a surprised Tae Young running towards you
You look up at the boy from your seat on the bench, puzzled in every sense of the word
Tae Young dissolved into apologetic babbles about doves and heads and a bunch of things you can't quite catch
"Uh...dude? Mind slowing down?"
Tae Young nods his head so vigorously you're worried it might fall off
"Right, right! So, okay, hmmmm, how to say this...Sunny has sat herself on your head."
Fuckin' pardon ??
"What?"
"Um, Sunny...oh right, Sunny's a dove that I'm fostering, anyway she's a little flighty" Nervous giggle break "Flighty, 'cause she's a bird...not the time, okay, she's, um, landed on your head! She looks quite comfortable actually !!"
"Right...okay...can you get her off?"
Tae Young in his bobble head era fr
"Yeah, I can, I'll have to touch your head though. Is that okay?"
"Sure, man, whatever you need. I just need to get to work and I can't have a bird on my head for that and I'm sure you don't want that either"
"Mhm, it would be best if we could avoid that.."
He says as he scoops Sunny off of your head, tongue poking out because he's that mf
SIKE !!
Sunny simply jumps out of Tae Young's hands and floats back down to your head
"Huh...that's not promising"
No shit, man...
As much as you want to be mad you feel like the chosen one and you can't help but feel fond of the tiny dove
You can't even be mad at Tae Young because he's being so sweet, trying to help you out and being friendly on top of that when you'd kidnapped (??) his dove
Is it kidnapping if the dove is the one who jumps on you without prompting ??
Dovenapping ??
Drawing yourself out of your thoughts you notice Tae Young begin to panic, becoming more frantic in his attempts to get Sunny away from your head
"Y'know what, I'll call my boss, let him know the situation so you can handle this properly without panicking. I'm sure Jennifer can work hard like everyone else for a little while."
And Tae Young visibly deflates in relief much to your satisfaction
"Oh thank goodness, I was worried you were gonna be so mad when I told you it may take longer than I first thought."
You can't help but smile as you surf through your contacts
"No worries, between you and me I've become more attached to Sunny in the past however long it's been than I have ever been to my job"
You send him a quick wink and smile before calling your boss
As your focus moves onto your phone you miss Tae Young's face flaring up in a fierce blush as he begins once again coaxing Sunny off of your head
You get the okay from your boss and start up a conversation with Tae Young as you wait
You two chat about anything and everything as you wait for Sunny to give up the fight
Before you know it 20 minutes have passed
Sunny finally leaves your head and your free !!
Finally !!
"I don't blame Sunny for sitting on you, your head looks very comfortable!"
A little confused but he's got the spirit
You accept the compliment (??)
Not like you'd be able to reject when he has the cutest nervous expression on his face ever
"Y'know, Sunny really likes you so I'm sure she'd like if you came to visit her every now and then."
You crack a smile and pretend to contemplate the offer
"I'd love to come visit little Sunny, I like to think we've established a bond after this. I'd also like to visit her fosterer if that's okay?"
You offer, feeling a boldness that quickly deserts you once you begin talking, leaving you stare anywhere but at Tae Young
You have never seen such a bright smile, seriously it rivalled the sun !!
Tae Young on his bobblehead arc part 3
Everyone leaves this meeting happy and excited to meet again, especially Sunny - you've got a really comfortable head !!
And you do end up visiting
Lots
Endless teasing on Tae's end (poor baby)
Like in Robaire's scenario he absolutely believes it was fate that the two of you met and he thanks Sunny everyday he sees her
It's really sweet actually
"I got you some extra seeds today, I know they're your favourite !! You deserve them for being my guardian angel in disguise !!"
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Oh my gosh, this took so long,, all this for a dying fandom too *cries*
Hope you enjoyed !! <3
#4town aaron t#4town#4town x reader#4town headcanons#4town aaron t x reader#aaron t#x reader#turning red#4*town#4*town x reader#4*town aaron t#xreader#4town jesse#jesse#4town jesse x reader#4*town jesse#4*town jesse x reader#4town aaron z x reader#4town aaron z#aaron z#4*town aaron z#4*town aaron z x reader#4town robaire#robaire turning red#robaire x reader#4town robaire x reader#4*town robaire#4*town robaire x reader#4town taeyoung#4town imagines
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Clexa Regency AU
The music ends with a flourish and Clarke dips a curtsey to her partner, the fifth of many on her dance card for the evening. As she lifts her gaze to offer Mr Sinclair of Felixstone Hall a sincere parting smile, she catches Lexa’s eye across the ballroom. During the quadrille, Clarke hadn’t lost sight of her; Lexa watching, brooding from the margins. That burning stare trained on Clarke the entire time. Jaw clenched so tight it looked like it might shatter.
Now, with the subtlest incline of her head, Lexa beckons and Clarke follows.
They find a secluded corner, a dimly-lit nook that’s hidden from view by a wide pillar. As soon as Clarke is within reach, Lexa gathers her near and presses her back against the cool marble. A lively reel strikes up mere feet away, its swift tempo matching the giddy thump of Clarke’s racing heart as she peers up into Lexa’s face, cast half in shadow and so close to her own she feels the warm gust of wine-sweetened breath over her lips.
The sudden intimacy of their position leaves Clarke dizzy, weak in the knees, and she grips Lexa by the shoulders to anchor herself. The arms around her waist tighten, holding her more securely against Lexa’s lean frame and it only makes Clarke swoon harder.
She conceals her condition with arch flippancy.
“You seem greatly vexed, Miss Woodhouse. Am I truly such an abominable dancer?”
She smiles within herself, fully aware of the reason for Lexa’s agitation and secretly rejoicing in it.
“You make sport of teasing me.”
“Indeed I do, but only because you make it so very easy.”
Even shrouded in gloom, the answering pout is magnificent.
Clarke’s palms slide down the front of Lexa’s open tailcoat, over the velvet collar and luxuriously soft wool and trailing lower, lower. She leans in to bring her lips to Lexa’s jaw, brushing along the elegant, cut-glass slope to reach the lobe of a dainty ear.
“Tell me...” Clarke murmurs as her hand continues its descent, past the high waistband of the ivory hussar breeches Lexa wears. Her fingers skim over the seam that runs down the middle and she savours the catch of breath, the glorious wanting noise Lexa bestows when Clarke dares to cup her between the legs, feeling the heat of her through the cotton sateen. “However am I to atone for this grievous offence?”
She rubs with the heel of her palm.
“Clarke.”
The pained, rough entreaty lifts the hairs on the back of her neck and thrills her to the core.
Laughing, she starts to say something else only to be abruptly silenced by the hard press of Lexa’s lips against her own. Clarke sinks into the contact for a second. But then their mouths open, adjust, surge together again. Seeking one another with fervent urgency, unleashing the longing and ardour that built over the course of several hours as Clarke twirled around the ballroom with a succession of handsome but spiritless men and endured the dull conversation of her party. All while Lexa stewed in her envy from afar.
They separate at last with a shuddering gasp, parted lips grazing as they each labour for breath.
Lexa’s next words are almost lost to the stamp of feet nearby as the music swells to a frenzied crescendo.
“Upon my soul, you, Miss Griffin, will be the death of me.”
“Only la petite mort, I pray.”
They share a heavy look, ripe with unspoken yearning. Clarke’s hand remains where it is, burning through layers of cloth.
“Might I visit you at Arkadia tomorrow? Alone.” Lexa’s dark, covetous gaze flits around Clarke’s countenance, darting between her eyes and her mouth.
“The servants will talk.”
“Then let us give them something worthy of scandal to gossip about.”
“You would see me disgraced, my reputation sullied by ill repute?”
“I would see you thoroughly ravished,” Lexa says. A faint smirk graces her full lips. “I cannot be held accountable if we are overheard by your people during the act.”
Heat crimsons all over Clarke’s face at the suggestion, no, the promise of what is yet to transpire.
She bites her lip and nods. “Until tomorrow.”
#clexa#clexa au#clexa moodboard#clarke x lexa#clexa crack#crack is my pianoforte#regency!au#regency au#my fic
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#i like tbis series so much bc it really challenges the consequences of vasya’s selfishness and lack of hindsight#she’s all like ‘i’m going against cultural norms i’m going to be FREE’ but it doesn’t let her get away with it#without challenging the kind of immaturity she approaches that with#idk this series is GOOD (via @violaeade)
“But I will have my freedom, Alyosha. Do you doubt me? I brought snowdrops to my stepmother, when I ought to have died in the forest. Father is gone; there is no one to hinder. Tell me truly, what is there for me here but walls and cages? I will be free, and I will not count the cost.”
– The Bear and the Nightingale, Katherine Arden
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#metanarrative#lits auth#some cataloguers like literate data collection#people lie#get a critical theory#razors rock#𐛴
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To Be Loved by You (Morpheus x Fem!Reader)
Prompt: Everyone wants Morpheus to love them. To cherish them and be their hero in dark armor. To be able to be held by him and to be told just how special you are to him. But no one realizes perhaps the man is the one who needs that sort of love.
Pairing: Morpheus x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3k+ (shorter than what I'm used to! Sorry!)
Auth. Note: Writing this for @sandmanraven who posted about this concept first and everyone else who agrees!
(Let's just pretend Calliope is the reader right now)
Shadows of golden light danced along the walls of her study. The plush leather of her couch was a comfortable cushion to the curve of her spine as she rested there with legs kicked up over one armrest and her head making a pillow of the other by her head. A delicate hand holding open a small book above her head allowing the light of the fire behind her to illuminate the pages while the other comb fingertips through the fur of the feline that lay curled up on her belly purring away in contentment. In times like these nothing else mattered. With the cold winter storm brewing beyond just outside her study windows, she lay tucked away in her little nook of the house warmed by the roaring fire sending a pleasant bonfire smell through the room that complimented the scent of a Christmas candle lit on the coffee table beside her while a mug of hot cocoa sat forgotten on the end table the longer the hour waned. It was there in the comfort of the room that her lids grew heavy and the book slowly began lowering inch by inch as her eyes fluttered trying to fight slumber. But after her long day at work and the gentle atmosphere of the warm and lulling rumbling of her feline friend her mind drifted away moments before the book was dumped forgotten on the rug on the floor.
She felt the almost imperceivable tugs at her hair that pulled her from her slumber with persistence that she could not ignore and her eyes slowly fluttered open to take in the ceiling that was not a ceiling at all but a vast space of cosmos and Milkyway above her head. The breath she inhaled slowly felt alive with energy. So unlike the Waking World as it did not bring her the sense of peace and comfort that The Dreaming did. It had been quite some time since she'd entered The Dreaming. Her mind was so plagued with stress that she often slept without dreams if she dare close her eyes long enough for sleep.
When she turned her head she was met with the familiar beady eyes of a raven that perched on the pillow beside her head. A warm smile slowly tugged at her tired face as she reached up to stroke a finger along the bright white feathers along the raven's chest that contrasted with the rest of her.
"Hello, Jessamy." her voice was soft; almost nothing but a whisper as she met the bird's intelligent eyes as she greeted the creature with the familial of a dear old friend.
Rising slowly to a sitting position the young woman gazed around her chambers; stretching her arms above her head and allowing her body to release the tension it had been feeling before she let out a long exhaled breath. Taking with it any negativity and stress she had felt from the Waking World.
"Where's our King of Dreams then, hmm girl?" her bare toes sank into the plush rug beneath the soles of her feet as she slid herself from the bed.
The room was dark. Lightened only by the purple and blue hues of the cosmos that danced along the walls of the chambers guiding her way as one bare foot was placed in front of the other. She'd allowed the raven to swoop past her head and into the long hallway beyond the door of her chambers and she was quick to follow. Not minding the darkness only light with the moonlight through the large ceiling-to-floor windows as her feathered friend guided the mortal through the massive castle that housed more things and people than she dared count. Her guide led her through the largest library that she had ever seen in her life; a library she knew one soul, in particular, cared so deeply for. No one in the entire universe that she knew loved their job as deeply as the Dreaming's royal librarian Luciene did and the mortal held high respect for the other just for that very reason. But it was not the books on the shelves or the library itself that Jessamy led her here for but for what lay beyond the walls that opened like a pair of sliding doors to reveal the vast throne room beyond.
It too was cast in shadows with only the pale white that cast through the tall windows and the stars glittering above where a ceiling should have been. At the back of the room beyond a high rise of steps sat a throne and a wall of mosaic glass windows behind that. But it was who sat in the throne chair that drew the female's attention. She stayed back as Jessamy glided across the room to perch at the back of the throne alerting the man sitting in it to her presence. Dark eyes rose from a tomb that lay in his lap to gaze across the space to lock onto her as she stood with hands clasped in front of her. If she didn't know better she would say surprise lurked in the depths of those cool pools.
"You did it again." her voice was soft but yet it carried from across the room like a gentle breeze.
The man did not say a word as he straightened up ever so slightly as those blue wet eyes rimmed with redness watched as the figure glided across the room; bare feet leaving no sound in their wake until she stood at the bottom of the steps almost as if she was waiting for permission to climb them to draw closer.
"Forgive me, I did not mean to summon you. I did not even have knowledge that I had done so." his voice was deep and slow but it landed heavily on her ears as if there was a weight carried behind them.
Her lips that had been in a leisure smile fell ever so slightly as those eyes that sparkled light starlight in the dimness of the room studying the being on his throne. Even now, shoulders stiff with tension and angular face pinched with stress he looked beautiful. Skin pale as the moonlight that filtered through the windows and hair a wild mess that resembled the color of Jessamy's feathers that begged her fingers to comb through. But she never dared to; she knew how he wasn't too fond of physical contact. He looked so tired despite being the King of Dreams and Nightmares and the woman wondered if perhaps he was overworking himself. It was not uncommon as of late that the Endless summoned her from the Waking World without forewarning. He had been doing it a lot as of late and she worried for him.
"It does not matter. It's not like you pulled me away from anything important. I was just reading a book by the fireplace." her mouth turned up into a warm smile. "I rather find myself here anyhow."
Dream watched as she ascended the stairs as if finding the permission she so silent had been awaiting. When she was finally on the same level as he the mortal woman perched herself on his armrest; just a hair breath away from him that he could smell her warm scent that reminded him of what home would smell like but he did not allow his gaze to wander and instead fell to the book he no longer wanted to be reading.
"You seemed stressed." she hated how the silence seemed almost suffocating between them.
Morpheus was not one who talked much and the silent company was a common thing for him; even with her in the room with him. She did not mind it half the time. But tonight she could feel the tension lurking beneath the dark coat he wore as if he wore it like a badge. It was not like him to suddenly summon without warning even subconsciously because he had always been tactful and in control. So aware of himself. But not tonight.
"The day had been long and wary." the confession was a start and the mortal's smile grew encouragingly at the tidbit he gave her.
"Well, when I was younger. I had this friend you see who once told me that when the waking world leaves you wanting and wary. Sleep brings you here to find freedom and adventure." there was a teasing lilt in her voice as she reached down to grab the volume from Morpheus's lap and gently closed it.
"Even the king of dreams deserves a break now and then Morpheus." her words were a gentle chastise as she slipped her body from the armrest and placed the book onto the stack of others that lay on a side table.
"I remember you used to scoff at such a notion." the man replied cooly as he watched the other move about.
Her laugh was music to his ears as he rose from his throne chair in favor of standing at her level as she spun around to face him with a sassy but playful quip at the tip of her tongue but as soon as her eyes met his silver blues the words died on her tongue and instead she stood in silence just studying him a moment. There was just something about his expression that usually was stoic and cool that spoke of a sense of vulnerability in his tired state.
"Where do you go when you are in need of peace Dream?" his nickname slipped off her tongue easily with a hushed tenner as if she spoke a secret into the silent room.
"Where I go..." Dream's voice trailed off and she slowly nodded before her hand reached out to grasp his sleeve tentatively.
"Take me there."
~
The boards creaked beneath the weight as they walked along the pier towards the edge of the dock. The water was calm; sparkling with glittering starlight within the gentle shifting as if the sea had a mind of its own. She remembered this place. It was the Sea of Memories and history. She'd remembered stories that Morpheus told her on the rare occasion as they strolled through parts of the Dreaming over the time they'd spent together; she did not imagine this sort of place being a safe haven for the being but as he stood at the edge of the peer and looked down at his own reflection she could imagine those memories flooding his mind as he reminisced.
"You were just a child when we first met. I take those years for granted each time I see you." his words startled her and she turned to look up at him in confusion.
"How so?"
"You are not a little girl anymore yet you choose to return to the Dreaming time and time again even as your mortal years pass."
The woman smiled down at their reflections in the water. Her mortal eyes not seeing the swirls of memories as he did but instead focused on the reflection of their faces staring back at her.
"This is a place where I don't feel alone. This is a place where I feel at home." her smile nearly cracked his facade as he looked down at her.
"And the thing is Dream...you built a home...a home for me here without even knowing it. Allowing me to return here when my world indeed made me wary and wanting. You were kind to me even after all those years...built me my own room within the castles. Allowed me to read all the books I wanted in the library...to visit Fiddler's Green and to meet Cain and Abel; to play with Gregory." her eyes began to grow a little misty as she spoke and she dared to reach out to slip her fingers through his; his palm cool against her warmth and he found his gaze locked on their hands but not with distaste.
There was a softness about his features as he took in her words; not remembering a time when someone was so open with him. Confessing so openly that he managed to make them feel at home within the Dreaming. But it was her confession that he was her home that did him in. For centuries he'd shoved people away and kept them at arm's length so that he did not get betrayed and his heart hurt like those before but as he stood in the calm space with the rippling of water hitting the dock and her expecting eyes he found that perhaps humanity was not lost altogether.
"I also think that you don't let your guard down enough around people. Perhaps for good reasons. Personal reasons. But I want you to know Dream...it's not a sin to show that you need someone. You're an Endless and I get that...but even an Endless has their limits. You work so hard at your job to keep everything in order...trying to be something or someone that people can love, fear, and respect. But you deserve to be happy too."
He sank to the edge of the dock. Pulling her down with him until they sat side by side staring into the waters. He did not know what to say to her words as logic and longing waged war within him. On one hand, he needed to be strong and to think of everyone else; of everything that needed to be done, and people to take care of. But then there was the side of him that yearned to have someone at his side that could see past his exterior and see what he needed. To be willing to take his place for once and allow him the grace of weakness of needing another human being; to allow himself to indulge in physical contact that he had run from for centuries after his last broken heart...to allow himself to feel human for once.
"I do not know how to ask for help." his statement would have earned him a scoff of a laugh from anyone else but she was not just anyone else.
And she did not laugh at him but instead, her fingers slipped from his making him instantly miss her warmth and rise to her knees facing him. Her eyes were honest and earnest as she tilted her head to be within his view. Her eyes flickered along his sharp features before her hands reached up to hover just inches from his skin as if afraid to touch him.
"Dream." her voice was filled with such kindness that it damn near broke his heart. "I'm right here."
His eyes stared into hers for the longest heartbeat of her life before those dark lashes fluttered closed and his face tipped into one palm; allowing the warmth of her palm to heat his skin. Like a wounded animal experiencing kindness for the first time, she was careful with her touch as her thumbs brushed along those sharp cheekbones and beneath the curve of his lashes; sweeping away the tension as his jaw unclenched and she smiled slightly as she reveled in being able to be his first human contact in centuries.
"I fear that when you awake someone would take my place and I would never see you again. That you will forget me and cease returning to The Dreaming...to me." his words were choked out in a hoarse whisper as his eyes clenched closed tighter as if trying to stave off the moister that began to cling to his bottom lashes.
"Oh Dream." her arms slid around his neck and tightened; pulling him against her frame. "No one could replace you. Never. No matter how old I grow I will always need you."
Long arms tentatively curled around her back for the briefest of moments before they tightened making her feel as if a child clung to its favorite stuffie for comfort and feared to let it go. His breath was shallow; ghosting like a chilly gust of wind along her neck as he buried his head into her shoulder. Her scent and warmth comforted him even if he did not have the words to express it at that moment. She held him like this for a while longer until the ache in her knees against the hardwood of the dock forced her to pull away from him. When she came face to face with him his eyes met hers; clouded with a fine sheen of mist and redness. She gently wiped the wetness at the corner of his eyes and smiled, one that looked almost sad as she gazed at him and her smile made his heart constrict. Her lips parted to say something but she was cut off by another.
At that moment, a throat was cleared behind them and she saw those walls rebuild themselves in an instant. His posture stiffened and for a moment the mortal hated Lucienne more than anything at that very instance while her gaze drifted over his shoulder to the dark-skinned beauty behind them as the librarian looked a bit guilty and regretful as she stood with hands clasped behind her and eyes cast down to her shoes.
"Forgive me, m'lord, but there is some business that I need to discuss with you. It's urgent." Lucienne murmured
In the next heartbeat, the King of Dreams and Nightmares was back as he rose to his full height once more and turned to his royal librarian. He tipped his head at her without sparing his companion another glance and the woman knew she'd lost her chance right then. But as Lucienne began walking away and the girl rose silently beside the dream lord she realized that she was wrong in that assumption as a cold hand slipped into hers briefly and gave it a squeeze. Her gaze rose to meet Dream's to find him staring straight ahead after Lucienne. A slight smile quirked her lips as she sidled up to him; even with him not looking directly at her she knew he did not have to apologize for his behavior nor did he owe her an explanation. Instead, she leaned closer to rest her forehead against his jaw, his scent like a nostalgic memory as it invaded her senses.
"Go, duties await you, my lord." her lips were a ghostly caress along his jawline that had him closing his eyes with a soundless sigh. "You know where to find me."
Her hand that still held within his grasp lifted their joined hands and his gaze fell onto her as she brought them up in front of her. Her lips that had spoken such kind words so selflessly pressed against the ridges of his knuckles once and then twice before she let go and sank back down to sit at the edge of the sea to stare down into its starry depths. But he did not leave right away. Instead, his tall frame invaded the space beside her as his reflection joined hers.
"I thank you, m'lady." his words were as tender as his lips that skimmed her temple in the most fleeting of moments before his view vanished altogether leaving her filled with longing in his wake.
#the sandman fandom#the sandman morpheus#morpheus the sandman#the sandman dream#dream of the endless#the sandman oneshot#morpheus x reader#lord morpheus#morpheus#the sandman imagine
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🇺🇸
#killin' ya#lits auth#killed#birds fmm#kal#windigo#jenn again#marty#(this wedding sucked anyway)#all the birds at once#thunderbird#this year's shamans playlist#union catalog
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2019 May 25
Planet of the Tajinastes Image Credit & Copyright: Daniel Lopez (El Cielo de Canarias)
Explanation: What bizarre planet are these alien creatures from? It's only planet Earth, of course. The planet's home galaxy the Milky Way stretches across a dark sky in the panoramic, fisheye all-sky projection composed with a wide lens. But the imposing forms gazing skyward probably look strange to many denizens of Earth. Found on the Canary Island of Tenerife in the Teide National Park, they are red tajinastes, flowering plants that grow to a height of up to 3 meters. Among the rocks of the volcanic terrain, tajinastes bloom in spring and early summer and then die after a week or so as their seeds mature. A species known as Echium wildpretii, the terrestrial life forms were individually lit by flashlight during the wide-angle exposures.
∞ Source: apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap190525.html
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Hamlet, William Shakespeare | Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003) | The Song of Achilles, Madeline Miller | Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) | Tumblr Post by @HexGlyphs | The Raven King, Maggie Stiefvater
#elle.txt#hamlet#lord of the rings#making this post was........ an EXPERIENCE#auth: madeline miller#lit#lit: the raven cycle#100#200
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The Hidden Hipster History of the Alt Right? (/clickbait)
The fact that “alt lit”, which I had analyzed as the possible aesthetic foundation of an “alt” social movement, collapsed in a series of rape & abuse scandals in 2014 and was almost immediately followed by the emergence of a fascist “alt right” has been giving me really powerful Bad End feels for a while (including worrying about whether the choice point had been my own failure to boost “alt politics” as a yung liberal) the “alt lit” designation started reappearing this past ~season, in the complete absence of anyone I know of consciously writing under it, which was weird also I’ve been spending time on Twitter lately and realizing that correlation is the tip of the iceberg, which may not even be purely kabbalistic. In particular, I’ve noticed a growing crossover area between anime communist and anime fascist Twitter - which @nihilsupernum always used to say were the same thing, and I never bought that, but then I was just going on Tumblr examples. @SisypheanSperg/@Polyphemus_____ (does anyone know what he got suspended for? I’m too lazy to research) seems like the perfect epicentre of this, and I actually can’t tell what the fuck his ideology is except /r9k/. All the significant #frogtwitters follow him as do a bunch of /leftypol/ tankies - and what’s interesting is these aren’t Catholic Tank Club-type fascist sympathizers, as far as I can tell, but violent antifa supporters. their alignment is completely non-ideological and yet they’re also followed and retweeted by a bunch of #frogtwitters. And what they all have in common is a bunch of formal & generic characteristics common with alt lit - a preoccupation with their “brand”, the “irony/sincerity” dichotomy, insider memes, and tweets that would not sound out of place in a Steve Roggenbuck video. some of that is purely genealogical - “Weird Twitter”, Something Awful, stoner comedy and 4chan (Steve Roggenbuck once said alt lit is basically 4chan, IIRC) influences. some of it is generational. but at this point it’s nonidentical to any single determination. there is such a thing as a generalized “alt” culture/style/ethos that was, actually, implicit when the kinda dated 90s term reemerged as a cool internet thing - thanks to HipsterRunoff, which used it afaict “ironically” to describe the cultural space around the music scene that had actually been calling itself “indie” for a while. Hipster Runoff’s writing style was one of, if not the major point of reference for the name when alt lit started calling itself that. “alt lit” meant not just an alternative to the mainstream of literature but literature that was part of the “alt” subculture Carles described. the people Carles gossiped about definitely left their basements more often than these Twitter types but there are definitely direct links between HipsterRunoff and “alt” twitter/chan culture: for instance, musical genres ending in “-wave” (again a retro-ism, but vaporwave definitely got it from chillwave, not New Wave directly). so was the ceremonial execution of “alt lit” was not only, as I’ve always held, counterproductive (vulnerable writers from that scene were mostly reuptaken into academia, an equally abusive world where the kind of crowd-based accountability mechanisms that the crisis demonstrated functioning successfully simply don’t exist) but ahistorical? alt lit was always equated to a constellation of first-order social ties because people these days are pre-emptively embarrassed to periodize themselves, but by now there are too many data points to mistake any such attempt for crackpot self-promotion, nor a question of personal or ideological self-identification per se otoh, even if it’s too broad to be moralized (and the Twitter accounts that fall under this heading are all conspicuously amoral) under a single failure mode (alt right, Tao Lin), “alt” culture as a whole can and should still be critiqued. Carles himself did as much, not only with the “Alt Report” but with his final pronouncement of the failure of “alt” and call to embrace “auth”, whatever that means: from the problems I see “alt” subculture facing right now, I’m guessing some kind of cultivation of the inner wisdom and resilience (rather than accelerated, hyper-networked “boosting”) necessary to withstand "meme magic”, cybernetic behaviour programming, Spectacle and the stratum of Real Abstraction from which it projects its holograms. maybe even “getting off the internet” and the charges under which alt lit was condemned apply to the whole. the “alt” tendency within millennial culture, perhaps best understood as a way of relating online/millennial culture to mass culture and mass politics in general, is the cultural lens of the Young-Boy in relation to Tiqqun’s Young-Girl (I’ll write more on this eventually), and overtly male-dominated (externally and internally) in all its forms (going back to HipsterRunoff, with its “ironic” slutshaming of Young-Girl popstars). all its failure modes branch out from the logic of late capitalist male socialization. and while people who write and think in male and by extension “alt”-articulated ways (i.e. myself) exist, “auth” lit and politics going forward needs to either synthesize or reject this gendered dialectic.
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Red Heart
“Let me go.”
Luka met Tusca’s eyes with steely resolve. For someone only seventeen years old, the kid had a backbone to put most war veterans to shame.
“Absolutely not,” Tusca replied, feeling much older than he was. He looked at the viewscreen, and the pirate ship that was waiting on a reply. The same pirates that Roja had gotten them away from just a few months earlier. That ship outgunned his in every way. There was no chance to fight, and less chance to run. “Luka, pirates don’t keep their word.”
“But they have Carlito and Roja,” Luka said, and Tusca saw a crack in his almost-perfect mask. He understood, and everything in him was screaming to find some way out. Some way to steal a win when so much was against them. ”Tusca, one life is worth two. You know that.”
“And if I thought for one damn minute that they would honor that deal,” Tusca said, lying through his teeth, “I would consider it. But Luka, you’re not a space rat, you’re a prince, and you can’t be risked.”
“I’m telling you to risk me,” Luka was ready to fight for what he wanted. Unfortunately, what he wanted wouldn’t get him what he wanted. “I’m telling you that my life isn’t worth theirs!”
“And I’m telling you that it doesn’t matter, kid,” Tusca said, and stood to pull the distraught teenager into a tight hug. “Luka, pirates don’t trade hostages. If we try to negotiate, if we get them back, they’ll kill us all. Roja and Carlito, they know that.”
“But I can kill their ship!” Luka offered. He was grasping at straws, and Tusca didn’t have the heart to shut him down cold like he ought to. “If I get onto their ship, one touch and the whole thing goes dead.”
“If you go on that ship, they’ll kill Roja and Carlito. Kid, they don’t want just you, they want our cargo too,” Tusca sighed, and closed his eyes, hurting already for the loss that was to come. He flew with Roja in the war and for many years after. “The moment we go to unload it, they’ll level us all, blow the Wavedancer, and, if you’re very, very, lucky, they’ll keep you alive for ransom. If not, you’ll die with the rest of us.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do,” Tusca said, and sank into his chair. “Luka, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen situations like this. It’s not even the first time I’ve been in one, and I learned the same lesson you’re about to.”
“I can call for help,” Luka offered, but they both knew no help could get to them before time ran out.
“Can any of them get here fast enough?” Tusca asked anyway, because if they could, if anyone could, it would be the Crown Prince of the Human Galactic Empire. “Anything, from a courier ship, to a Carrier. Absolutely anything?”
Luka flinched like he’d been slapped, and Tusca’s heart was breaking. Soon, they would have to tell the crew why Carlito and Roja weren’t back from a supply run. Soon he would have to tell his crew that two of their number, two of their family wouldn’t be coming back at all.
“No,” the young prince whispered ashamedly. “No, the nearest is fast, and she’s close, but-“
“’But she’s not close enough, and she’s not fast enough, and nothing else is,” Tusca said. He pulled a bottle down from the cabinet he usually kept locked. “I just hope we can get out of here before they blow us.”
Something deadly came over Luka’s gaze. Something that reminded Tusca that this wasn’t an ordinary teenager in front of him.
“How do we handle this?” he asked, forcing down all the heartbreak that Tusca knew was swamping him. “How do we- how do we tell the others?”
“They all grew up in the black,” Tusca said, and picked up the shimmering green glass bottle on his desk. The one he only ever broke out when he lost one of his crew. It was the best money could buy, and his heart broke a little more every time he poured out a round. “They already know what happens when pirates take hostages. It was only a matter of time before you found out too. Come on.”
The whole crew was waiting on the bridge when Tusca walked in with Luka on his heels.
Do’s face went ashy grey when she saw the bottle in Tusca’s hand. She and her husband had been with Tusca for almost as long as Roja, and they had lost crew more than once in that time.
The life of a small-time smuggling ship was dangerous. Sometimes they paid for it in lives.
“Pirates,” he said without preamble, and looked around at his small, loyal crew. “You all know what happens when pirates take hostages, but if anyone has ideas, now’s the time.”
Silence answered him, broken only by Do’s quiet tears, muffled by her husband’s shirt. Carlito was her nephew.
“Okay,” he said, and took his chair, the bottle in a place of pride, fully visible. “Do’, put me through.”
The pirate captain didn’t look like the sort to take a kid and a doctor hostage and offer a ransom he didn’t intend to pay. He looked like the type to fly a desk, and argue about political red tape for hours.
Tusca met Roja’s eyes, and saw the moment his old friend noticed the bottle at Tusca’s side.
“Ready to play ball?” the pirate asked in a deceptively cheerful voice. “I see you still have the kid, and you haven’t unloaded your cargo for us to collect.”
“No, I haven’t,” Tusca said, but he wasn’t paying very much attention to the captain anyway. “And I’m not going to.”
Roja could slip any cuffs ever invented by man or Other. If it wasn’t magic, it wouldn’t hold him.
But that particular party trick was a secret. Arguably, the one Roja played closest to his chest. It had saved them a dozen times, not that most of the crew knew it.
Now it would save their little crew one last time.
“Activate emergency self-destruct,” Roja yelled into the ship’s computer as he slipped his cuffs and lunged for the control console. He yanked off his ever-present necklace of prayer beads, and the little crystal that hung from it. Three more pirates ran to stop him, and Carlito threw himself bodily in their way. All four men went down in a pile even as half a dozen more rushed in as their captain shouted orders. None of them were fast enough to keep Roja from scanning his medical ID into the main computer. “Quarantine and destruct, due to Thraxxis-modified Spanish influenza on Doctor’s Authorization!”
With that, he smashed the crystal underfoot, and gave the captain a terrible, dark smile. Sickly yellow gas coiled up around his boot and started to fill the room far faster than it ought to. “You’re never gonna touch our crew.”
“Modified Spanish Influenza detected,” the computer blared, and the whole pirate bridge lit red. “Emergency quarantine and self-destruct activated.
“Activate distress beacon and transmit everything!” the captain hollered, and Tusca swore. Without a pilot, the Wavedancer was limited to his crappy flight skills, and that wouldn’t be enough to get away from a pilot fleet. “Captain’s auth-“
The explosion was soundless in the vacuum of space, but it felt like it should have been loud.
Tusca dropped his head into his hands, and gave himself a precious two minutes to grieve for his crew. His family, who had died to save them.
“We’re gonna drink for them,” he said when those two minutes passed, and there was no choice but to rally. He sat himself in the pilot’s chair and began warming up the console. “And we’re not gonna let their deaths go in vain. Graat, make us a course. I don’t care where to as long as it’s not here. Luka, shields. Left, Right, weapons. Alejandro, I need full power from the engines. Go.”
They went, and he was proud of them.
“Captain?” the dread in Do’s voice was bad. The way it cracked with tears was worse. “We have company.”
Ships cracked into being all around them, portalling through Jumps in answer to a distress call of one of their own, and the tantalizing prize that was the Crown Prince.
Outgunned, out-manned, out-piloted.
“Move,” Luka said, voice absolutely steady despite the pain of his friend and his mentor dying before his eyes moments earlier. “ We don’t die here. Let me fly.”
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HGE - Learn to Fly, Learn to Breathe:
Red Sun
Red Baron
Red Prince
Red Sky
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