#literally told my new friend that the reason i always go to bed early is bc i suffer from chronic fatigue
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darcyolsson · 8 months ago
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spent years avoiding telling ppl about my health problems only to find out it barely makes a difference if i do tell them bc people literally just dont remember 😭😭😭 it does not change people's perception of me in a big way it literally doesnt even change people's perception of me in a small way. like for example remembering that i told them that i am disabled
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thewritetofreespeech · 8 months ago
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Astarion x Reader
words: 1.5K
rating: T
pairing: Ascended!Astarion x Tav
summary: banking off the Jealous!Tav x Astarion ask, I made one for Ascended verse as well.
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Astarion let out a deep sigh as he walked through the long corridors of his palace towards his chambers. Who knew being a Vampire Lord would be so taxing?
He thought it would be all blood, japes, and all-consuming-power when he ascended, but noooo. Apparently, all that power did not come with an instantaneous dark underground to control and city at his feet. He had to put in effort. Time. A lot of both, which somedays Astarion thought was just not worth it. But his ambitions would not let him rest on his laurels. Even if he did need a rest for the evening.
The doors let out a heavy echo as they close behind him, and Astarion sighed once more as he undid his overcoat. His attention then turned towards the bed as he saw the bedding move. “Darling?” He questioned curiously but knew it couldn’t be.
Tav was out with Shadowheart. Catching up with their dear friend while she was in the city, for reasons that were probably told to Astarion but he couldn’t be bother to remember since he wasn’t going. For once he let them go unaccompanied but was now hopeful that they came back early over missing him terribly.
“Master?” Astarion’s face paled (metaphorically, as it could not get any paler than it already was) as the sheets pulled back an a young, blonde, naked woman appeared from the covers. “I thought you’d never come back tonight.”
“What are you doing here Azura?” He hissed at his latest spawn. A silly girl who begged him for the gift, and Astarion gave it to her for no other reason than he felt his beloved needed a new chambermaid. “You dare enter my chambers, uninvited, and help yourself to my bed. Have you lost your absolute mind?!”
Astarion wasn’t exactly kind to his spawn, but he wasn’t nearly as cruel as Cazador. Which he knew was a very low bar. He gave them a fine amount of freedom to move about the castle. Updated the dorms so they weren’t as spartan as what he had been forced to endure. Almost never tortured them unless they absolutely needed to be punished. And this is how he was repaid?!
“Yes. I have lost my mind. Lost it for you, my master.” He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Oh Gods, the idiot was in love. He recognized that soft stare and devoted posture. If her, quite literally, naked display wasn’t enough of a clue he could nearly smell the pheromones off her. “I wanted to surprise you. I wanted to please you.”
“You can please me by getting out.” He pointed to the door although he didn’t compel her. He wasn’t sure why. Perhaps he wanted to again be kind and give her the choice. Or just a sick morbid curiosity on how this would play out.
“Leave? You really don’t want me here?” She seemed surprised. Given her beauty this may have been the first time she was rejected, Astarion assumed. It always surprised him when his quarry didn’t take the bait. Perhaps this was a similar feeling for her. “You really don’t want me to stay?”
Azura pulled back the sheets to reveal that she wasn’t truly naked. Just in a thin nightgown that was so transparent it was nearly invisible. Her skin smooth. Her legs long. Her cunt neatly shaved and breast taunt & perky. She’ll lead men to this castle in droves, he thought. Unfortunately, her charms were immune to him.
“Yes. Get out. I won’t repeat myself again.”
The girl jumped off the bed and came closer. Astarion hoped it was for the door, but no such luck. His spawn leaned into him, delicate and wanting. Staring up into his eyes like a lover while he stared back at her with a stern look. “Shouldn’t a master be able to taste what’s his when he likes. Don’t you miss my blood from the first time? Tasting it on your lips?”
He wants to tell her no. That he hasn’t thought about it since that first time. Honestly, he hadn’t thought of her since that first time. But mentions of blood, and the reminder of the power he felt when he took her life and made it his own, does get his own blood to hum.
“You can have it again, if you’d like. Take all of me. A lord, a king, can take anything he wishes. I can be your obedient consort as well. Be one of your most beloved spawn.” As she spoke her body and lips moved closer to him.
“What’s going on here?”
The girl jumped back, quickly. Like she had been licked by fire. Astarion stood still. He hadn’t done anything wrong, technically, so he had no reason to be afraid. Although that cool look in Tav’s eyes was making him seriously question that decision. “I said: what’s going on here?”
“I was….I-I was just….I…”
“You were trying to take my place, eh?” Astarion chuckled at his beloved’s blunt response. Direct and to the point as always.
“Darling, as if she could.” He moved over to Tav. Separating himself completely from his spawn to sooth his consort. “This is just some misplaced adoration of a spawn and their master. Granted we’ve gone a little far…”
“It’s not misplaced! I love you!” There was a growl in Tav’s throat and Astarion huffed at the girl’s childish pleas. He really had been trying to help her here. “I would never leave you alone like they would! I would be loyal to you always! I can be twice the consort they are if you just give me a ch—"
She doesn’t get to finish asking for her chance that would never come. As her head was hanging limp to the side, nearly off her shoulders. Blood gushing from the gaping hole in her throat. Spraying across the room and down her thin negligee. Once translucent material now opaque as it was drenched in crimson. “Well…that was something.”
“It’s not funny Astarion!” Tav yelled at him. Their eyes were wild and angry as they whipped around to glare at him. A powerful shiver running up his spine in the face of that heat.
“Of course it’s funny. All this for something so trivial. As if this scrap of nothing could have replace you. My beloved, perfect consort.” Astarion came close and lifted their bloody hand to kiss it gently. “No one could, would, or ever will replace you, my love. My wicked heart is yours, for all eternity.”
“Why didn’t you tell her that then?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t think it needed to be said.” His poor dead spawn had to know she was taking a long shot when she came here. And if she didn’t then she was too dumb for Astarion to have around anyway. Still, he supposed Tav was right. He could have made more of an effort to stop her. “Still, it is rather cute that you can still get jealous over my affection. It makes me so hot. Watching you fight over me.”
He heard Tav sigh when he kissed by their ear and then jaw. Hearing them mutter, “not much of a fight” which made his cock harden in his breeches.
“Perhaps I should flirt with women and men more often.”
Astarion felt a hard jerk of his own pristine, sharp jaw away from Tav. Their nails digging into the soft skin of his cheek as they stared at them with a blazing hatred he hadn’t seen since the Elder Brain or that disgusting necromancer in the crypt. “Don’t.” A single word. Sharp. Direct.
He doesn’t like to be told ‘no’ often these days. He’s killed men for less presses against his authority. But that sharp look, one that promised his beloved would leave a trail of bodies like rose petals at his feet if he even pretended to be interested in them, made his blood boil with desire. It’s a beat in his heart that echoes his own. The agonies he would face on men who even stared at his beloved too long. Their glances were only for him. Their body was only his. Their conversations, their passions, their life, their loyalty, all of it was his. He supposed the least he could do was not pretend to be fickle with it.
“Very well, my love. I won’t. My sweet words will, as always, be for you alone. Plus, we can’t have your jealousy wreaking havoc all over the castle & city. Just think of the stains.”
He kissed Tav, to reassure them that his love was for them and them alone, picking them up and carrying them to the bed to remind them properly. As he carried them to their bed, he stepped over poor dead, double dead, Azura’s body. Already forgotten. Already not even a memory. Just a stain in the carpet that would need to be sorted out in the morning.
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pink-princess-pussy-pop · 9 months ago
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SPEAK NOW - Foolish One
Rafe Cameron x Reader Taylor Swift AU
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My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand. Chances are, tonight, you've already got plans. And chances are, I will talk myself to sleep again.
Sofia's text kept you up all night. You had sent Rafe a text this morning and were still awaiting his reply.
Hi! What are you doing today? I need to talk to you.
You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high. Wishful thoughts forget to mention when something's really not right.
He had read the message 23 minutes ago and the waiting was making you sick. Did he know what Sofia has said to you? Had she told him not to talk to you? You had typed out several follow-ups but hadn't sent any of them, too afraid of overstepping.
And I will block out these voices of reason in my head. And the voices say, "You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson."
Your nerves were getting the best of you, the thoughts in your head growing increasingly meaner.
Why in the world would he choose you over her? She's literally his girlfriend.
What if he knows you like him and doesn't want to speak to you anymore?
Do you really think he would leave her for you?
Foolish one. Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come. You will take the long way, you will take the long way down.
Deep down, you knew you would never be with Rafe. You just always were a hopeless romantic. You knew it was stupid to think he'd love you back but it was nice to dream, even if you broke your own heart along the way.
You know how to keep me waiting, I know how to act like I'm fine. Don't know what to call this situation, but I know I can't call you mine. And it's delicate, but I will do my best to seem bulletproof.
Rafe still hadn't replied the next day. You had a feeling he wasn't going to pick you up like usual so you asked your mom to take you.
"Why isn't Rafe getting you?"
Your acting skills pulled through the lie.
"He had to be early this week for football stuff."
When you got to school, you did your best to seem like everything was ok to your other friends. They thought it was weird you weren't walking in with Rafe but didn't say anything. Your only class with Rafe was your 5th period but it was after lunch. You took a deep breath before walking into the cafeteria, holding your lunch to your chest.
Rafe's eyes were on you the second you walked into the cafeteria. But you didn't glance at him once. He knew he was being a jerk.
'Cause when my head is on your shoulder, it starts thinking you'll come around, and maybe someday when we're older, this is something we'll laugh about over coffee every morning while you're watching the news.
As you sat with your friends, you thought about the weeks before Rafe had started talking to Sofia. There seemed to be some sort of more-than-friends vibe you were getting but you had been wrong in the end. You'd go get some drive-through junk food and eat it in the bed of his truck, the night ending with you falling asleep with your head in his lap. On other nights you'd watch a movie at Tannyhill or Rafe would come to eat dinner with your family. It felt so right, so domesticated.
But then the voices say, "You are not the exception. You will never learn your lesson."
Your eyes traveled to the table Rafe was at. He wasn't watching you anymore, eyes on Sofia, who was obviously flirting with Kelce. You rolled your eyes and shifted your eyes back to your friends.
Foolish one. Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come. You will take the long way, you will take the long way down. Foolish one. Stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come. You will learn the hard way, instead of just walkin' out.
"Is everything ok with you and Rafe? I saw your mom drop you off today." Your best friend keeps her voice quiet.
"Yeah." You lie through your teeth. "I think Sofia was getting a little uncomfortable with us hanging out so much so I'm just giving them some space."
Now I'm slidin' down the wall with my head in my hands sayin', "How could I not see the signs?" Oh, you haven't written me or called, but goodbye screamin' in the silence and the voices in my head are tellin' me why.
You had been checking your phone non-stop throughout the day, just waiting to see if Rafe had texted you. But nothing. You knew you were just hurting yourself but you just couldn't stop yourself with Rafe.
"Cause you got her on your arm, and me in the wings. I'll get your longing glances, but she'll get your ring, and you will say you had the best of intentions. And maybe I will finally learn my lesson.
You look back at Rafe's table again, letting your gaze linger for a moment longer. Your breath catches in your throat as Rafe's eyes lock on yours. His smile falters. You surprise yourself by holding your ground, not blinking. Topper hits Rafe's arm to get his attention and he looks away.
Foolish one. The day is gonna come for your confessions of love. When all is said and done, he just wasn't the one.
You could laugh. Years of friendship down the drain for what? For a stereotypical high school mean girl who could care less about him? You rolled your eyes.
If Rafe was willing to move on from your thirteen years of friendship, so could you.
No, he just wasn't the one.
"Did you hear about the party this weekend?"
"Yes! I'm so excited, I've been needing a break."
"Y/N, are you gonna go?"
You knew the party was at Tannyhill, Rafe had told you about it weeks ago. Sarah was hosting it and Rafe was bound to be there.
"Sure. Why not?"
As lunch ended, you got a text.
Can I drive you home today?
You look back to Rafe's table, his eyes already on yours.
!!
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vivalas-vega · 2 years ago
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new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three
things are happening !!!! jupiter meets the gang !!! things are starting to line up but I just hope they can make it work...
drops of jupiter is literally her and jake’s song, I don’t make the rules I just enforce ‘em. as always lmk what you think and if you want to be added to the taglist!
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new perspectives / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three
add yourself to my taglist
prologue - one - two
word count: 4.4k
warnings: language, drinking, a smidge of jealousy, a very cheesy moment at the piano but I could not help myself
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The days were passing by in a blur, a monotonous blend of the same thing day after day… You were fighting to stay focused but a few days of mild cases and routine patients had you double and triple checking each chart before entering a room to make sure you were keeping everybody straight. You were officially entering the lull period of your residency where attendings gave you a long leash and let you take the lead, and you were even getting out of work at a decent hour which allowed you to start up a workplace romance with the hospital's forensic pathologist. You’d met him in the bar a few weeks ago and he didn’t take offense to the fact that you didn’t call him by his name, which was Blake, but rather Dr. Death, and he simply thought it was cute when you said he was the reaper and forced him back down to the basement anytime he tried to visit you during the day for fear his energy would affect your patients and send them circling down the drain. At first you’d tried to find something wrong with him, like really truly searched for red flags but there just weren’t any. 
He was supportive and encouraging, definitely wasn’t hard on the eyes, and was endlessly understanding of your work schedule because he endured the same difficulties. You’d sneak out of the hospital late at night and go to that 24 hour diner a few blocks away where you would load up on fries and milkshakes, meet for lunch over soggy cafeteria pizza and surprise each other with a cup of coffee when you could. He waited until the third date to take you home and for some reason you’d hoped he would be terrible in bed because then at least you would have a reason to call the whole thing off but he wasn’t and all of your friends got along with him if they overlooked the fact that you were slumming it with a basement dweller… a fact that never went unchecked by either of you with the reminder that he did in fact go to medical school like the rest of you. 
He was good, and you were seemingly happy yet you couldn’t really figure out why you hadn’t told Jake about him… you’d been seeing each other for two months now (you wouldn’t go far as to say you were in a relationship yet) and it was something you had chosen to leave out of every facetime or phone call. It just never felt like the right moment, talking about your dating lives was really the only thing you two struggled with, it always felt awkward and in a way you felt like you were cheating on Jake. Logically you knew you weren’t, logically you knew (through Coyote) that he was a bit of a ladies man and made his rounds wherever he was stationed that month but it just wasn’t something you ever talked about. Which was why as you sat in the Chief of Surgery’s office early one morning you felt a pit develop in your stomach when he let you know you’d be headed to San Diego for the day.
“UCSD got your fellowship application and they were very impressed… I spoke with their Chief and they’re requesting you for the day, I reckon they’re about to woo you,” he chuckled. “You’ll take the hospital’s charter and return tomorrow evening, you leave in an hour,” he said and you just stared at him in shock.
“Woo me, sir?” you asked and he nodded.
“You’ll spend the day in their facilities, get the lay of the land and meet the Head of Trauma, they’ll likely let you scrub in on something cool… they’re putting you up in a nice hotel in Coronado on the beach and giving you tomorrow to explore the city, likely in hopes of you falling in love with the San Diego lifestyle,” he said and you were still looking at him skeptically. “This is the part where all of your hard work starts paying off, Jupiter. This isn’t going to be the first hospital that tries to get your attention but they’re certainly hoping to be the last,” he said.
“But sir, I have patients… I’m supposed to take Mrs. Murphy in for her-”
“You’ll still have patients when you get back, go… maybe have a little bit of fun,” he said with a smile and you nodded as you left his office. Having fun wasn’t something you really did often, your life existed within the walls of this hospital. For you, fun was cutting people open and maybe you could constitute what you were doing with Blake as fun but you really thought of it as more of a time filler.
And they’d done exactly what he said they would… you were given a tour of the hospital by an overly eager resident (who had a million questions for you about the clinical trial you’d worked on with your Head of Neuro during your second year) and you learned cutting edge trauma techniques during a GSW surgery that you’d only read about in medical journals all before they sent you packing while the sun was still out to get settled in your hotel and see everything San Diego had to offer you. Jake was still here, he’d returned from his mission a few weeks ago and there was talk about keeping him and all the other pilots that were recalled for the detachment here permanently as a squadron while teaching new recruits at Top Gun. You changed out of the scrubs you’d been wearing since Boston and showered, throwing on a sundress and sandals before walking out of your hotel and strolling along the beach… Following your phone's maps you knew you were only a few minutes away from the bar where Jake told you he spent most of his time nowadays and you dialed his contact, hoping he was around and not up in the air somewhere.
“Hey angel, perfect timing. I just got to the bar, man it was a crazy day at work today,” he said and you could hear the chatter in the background as he greeted Penny and ordered a beer.
“Yeah? Tell me all about it,” you said and you listened as he went on about a new recruit who reminded him a lot of himself but not in a good way, mentioning something about almost losing total control of his jet and taking Phoenix out and you shuddered as you imagined it, stopping right in front of the entrance and taking a deep breath. “Hey, what was the name of that bar you’re always at?” you asked, a soft smirk playing on your lips as you walked in and recognized the group of pilots around the pool table from the photos he sent you.
“The Hard Deck, why?” he asked as you made your way through while praying you weren’t in his line of sight and you saw him leaning against the bar with his back to you and you leaned against a beam a few feet away.
“Huh, that’s weird… I just walked into a bar called the Hard Deck, must be a coincidence,” you said, doing your best to sound nonchalant.
“The Hard Deck? In Boston? That doesn’t make any… are you fucking with me?” he asked and you stifled a laugh.
“I don’t think so? Yeah, there’s this red neon sign out front, a lot of coffee cups hanging from the ceiling which is an interesting design choice,” you said as you watched his head tilt upwards, “a lot of people in khaki. Actually… there’s this guy at the bar wearing the hell out of a khaki uniform that I think might be cute but I can’t really tell, he’s got his back to me… do you think I should make a move?” you asked and he turned around slowly as if he was in a horror movie expecting the killer to be right behind him and you were worried his face was going to split in half from how wide he smiled when he spotted you. He was crossing the distance in an instant, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground as you giggled.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked, squeezing you tight. 
“I was at UCSD for the day getting the star treatment,” you said a touch dramatically as you threw your hair over your shoulder. “Thought I’d surprise you.” 
“Well I am certainly surprised, what do you want to drink?” he asked and you shook your head.
“In a minute, I’m quite liking this surprising people thing…” you said, walking over to the pool table where Coyote was so thoroughly invested in the shot he was lining up he didn’t even notice you.
“What’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here?” you sighed, leaning against the edge of the table and ignoring the confused looks from the other pilots… 
“Well, give me a moment here darling… I’d be happy to oblige once I win this game,” he replied and you chuckled at the suave voice he’d put on to try and impress you, still not realizing who you were. “Holy shit, Jupiter?” he said after he sank his shot and you laughed as he pulled you in for a hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d come see what all this Top Gun nonsense was about,” you replied and he brought his hands up to cup your face and squish your cheeks.
“It’s been far too long, what are you drinking?” he asked, already halfway to the bar and you called out beer after him. 
“The Jupiter?” the dark haired woman you recognized as Phoenix said, sticking out her hand and introducing herself. “Those two talk about you so often I honestly thought you were a myth at this point.” 
“I’ve heard a lot about you too… thank you for keeping this one’s ego in check,” you said with a laugh as you gestured to Jake and he just rolled his eyes at you.
“Someone has to,” she muttered before going around and introducing you to everyone else and you smiled as they all eagerly hugged you, seemingly you were already a part of the family with how often Jake and Coyote mentioned you. “Rooster’s around here somewhere, you’ll meet him eventually.” 
“Okay, tell me all about UCSD,” Jake said, directing you to a chair and you filled him in on all the details… maybe leaving out a few about the surgery at first but Bob had appeared out of nowhere and expressed an interest in the gory details which you were happy to share, and Jake took that opportunity to excuse himself when Coyote brought you your drink and challenged him to a round of pool. His friends were great, they asked a lot of questions and hung onto your every word when you answered and they were thrilled to tell you all about their lives as pilots.
“This could be good for you two,” Phoenix said when the two of you found yourselves alone standing by the window overlooking the beach, “did Hangman tell you we might be getting permanent stations?”
“He mentioned it, but definitely downplayed it,” you answered and she nodded.
“It’s looking more like a serious possibility now,” she said and your eyes brightened, “this is the best squad I’ve ever been a part of… if you overlook half of what Hangman says,” she said and you chuckled. “Turns out the bigwigs feel the same and want us to instruct at Top Gun permanently in between deployments.” You tried to temper your excitement.
“I’m sure you’re all loving that idea… might be nice to officially call someplace home,” you mused.
“We’re all excited… besides, the last mission really bonded us, I don’t know if I could just go back to my old squad after that.”
“He didn’t tell me much, assumed he couldn’t, but from what I hear it looked like a few of you weren’t going to make it back for a minute?” 
She nodded, “Rooster and Maverick, Hangman is actually the one who went after them and saved them,” she said and you turned to look at her with wide eyes. “Disobeyed orders too, surprised the hell out of all of us. He’s a jackass but if you ignore all the bravado he’s kind of a good guy,” she said, “but don’t tell him I said that.”
“Your secrets safe with me,” you chuckled before excusing yourself to grab another drink. You knew from Coyote that Jake had a bit of a rough exterior when it came to work and was often off putting to a lot of other pilots and you were happy to see that he was finding a place here, dropping some of the ego and making real connections. You met Penny who gave you your next round on the house despite how you tried to protest and just as you were about to rejoin the group you came face-to-face with a tall redhead who had an annoyed expression on her face.
“You’re Jupiter?” she asked and when you nodded tentatively you could have sworn she scoffed. “Look, I’m just going to be blunt… Do I need to be worried about you and Hangman?” she asked and you were truthfully stunned and glanced at Penny who gave you a look that seemed to say tread lightly. 
“I’m sorry, you are?” you asked.
“Hannah, he and I are kinda…” she trailed off and you nodded in understanding. You looked her over once more and felt your heart twist as you did, if you looked past her somewhat aggressive disposition she was absolutely stunning. 
“Got it, no you have nothing to worry about… just childhood friends, I’m actually seeing someone back home,” you offered, hoping it would appease her and it seemed to because she disappeared back to her friends and you shook your head in disbelief, tossing back the tequila and smiling at Penny who was already pouring you another. “Thank you,” you said.
“No problem… that happens all the time, there’s always some kind of turf war happening in this bar over the pilots… especially Hangman,” she said and you nodded softly as she went to serve other customers. This shouldn’t hurt, you knew this already but it didn’t do anything to ease the sting or stop the nauseous feeling that took hold in your stomach.
“You’re seeing someone?” You heard Jake ask from behind you and you turned to meet his eyes, letting out a sigh as you did so.
“Kind of? It’s not serious,” you shrugged and really it wasn’t a lie… you weren’t exclusive with Blake, you knew he might want to get there eventually but you weren’t yet. “Didn’t know you were seeing someone,” you added.
“Kind of… it’s not serious,” he repeated your words and you nodded, taking your next shot and looking over to Coyote.
“Your pool partner is beckoning you,” you said and he looked you over, trying to decipher if you were mad or not but he couldn’t tell and honestly neither could you. You had no room to be jealous, you were doing the exact same thing he was. Maybe you were jealous that he wasn’t confronted with it, Blake was just an idea all the way across the country while Hannah was just a few yards away shooting daggers in your direction… you nodded encouragingly, silently telling him to go back to his pool game and you watched as he did so as you leaned against the bar. 
The rest of the group was smiling and laughing, playing darts or engaged in conversation and you thought about how easy it would be if you could just slip in here… you knew you still had to entertain the offers from other hospitals but choosing San Diego just seemed natural and obvious. Your ears perked up as you heard the jukebox suddenly cut out and the sounds of someone tinkering with the keys of the piano and you followed the noise to the end of the bar where you saw a man with a questionable mustache and a rather loud Hawaiian shirt sitting. “You must be Rooster,” you observed and he looked up at you slightly.
“You must be Jupiter,” he shot back, “the girl who has captured everyone’s attention tonight,” he said as you smiled and leaned against the piano.
“I have a tendency to do that,” you chuckled, listening as he switched gears and you recognized the opening notes of Drops of Jupiter, and you let out a loud laugh. “Oh, don’t do it...” you said, trailing off and he just smirked at you, one that you were sure had reeled in a lot of girls before, and it even would have worked on you if you didn’t have Jake to worry about on the other side of the bar.
“Now that she’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in her hair,” he started singing and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as he looked up at you with mischief in his eyes, nudging your leg with his and encouraging you to join in but you just shook your head. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” he said before starting the chorus and you begrudgingly sang along with him, maybe a little out of key but it didn’t seem to matter. The rest of the bar had started to move towards the piano and you had an inkling that this was a regular occurrence in this bar. Rooster seemed to have this natural pull to him, almost like gravity as your new friends circled around you and joined in.
But tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overrated? And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
Across the bar Jake was watching you with an unreadable expression on his face as you danced and sang with his friends, and while you were lost in the moment as you lead the bar in song with Rooster he was abandoning his conversation with Hannah mid-sentence and walking towards you on no accord of his own… you had your own gravitational pull, and when you met his eyes he felt like nothing else in the world truly mattered. Not when you looked that beautiful, not when you and Rooster had the whole bar eating out of the palms of your hands. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, and you couldn’t take your eyes off him as he leaned against a beam and smiled that classically Jake smile at you. When you looked away it was to laugh with Phoenix as Rooster really played up the moment and put his whole heart and soul into it and you thought to yourself that this was what you wanted.
Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken? Your best friend always sticking up for you, even when I know you’re wrong? Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance, five hour phone conversation, the best soy latte that you ever had and me?
These were the moments that you were missing… and it wasn’t because you didn’t have the time back home, you could make it if you wanted to. It was because you never felt like you could truly let go of yourself until Jake was around, you didn’t know how to relinquish control and go with the flow unless you were in his orbit, knowing that he was watching over you and these were the moments you craved. You wanted more nights in this bar, with these friends and with those green eyes watching you.
But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day, and head back toward the Milky Way? And tell me, did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded, and that heaven is overrated? And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? One without a permanent scar and then you miss me while you were looking for yourself?
The bar was trying to stay in time with Rooster as he ad-libbed the ending but truthfully it was just chaos as you danced with Phoenix and laughed with Coyote as somewhere Bob was recording the whole thing. You wrapped your arms around Rooster’s shoulders as he finished and placed a kiss to his cheek, “thank you,” you whispered into his ear and he nodded after giving your arm a squeeze. You lifted your head to see Jake still looking at you and you made your way through the throng of people, giving him a look that said are you coming? as you slipped out the doors. You kicked your shoes off and set them beside one of the picnic benches before walking out into the sand and you heard the bar doors open and shut behind you… you didn’t need to turn around to know who it was.
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked and you chuckled.
“I didn’t fly all the way across the country to not get my feet wet,” you answered, turning around to face him as you continued walking backwards. “Gonna join me?” you asked before running towards the water and he just watched for a moment.
“Ah, hell,” he muttered, pulling his boots off and abandoning them in the sand as he rolled his khakis up as high as they would go and chased after you. The water was biting on your ankles and you laughed as Jake caught up and wrapped your arms around your waist, lifting you off the ground.
Inside the bar the jukebox had been turned back on and the group had gone back to their usual spots before catching a glimpse of the two of you out there splashing around in the water and laughing under the moonlight and soon they were crowded around the window to watch.
“You mean to tell me that’s Hangman out there?” Payback asked in disbelief.
“Can you blame him?” Rooster asked, “if she wasn’t the Jupiter I’d be doing anything I could to get her to look at me like that,” he said, overlooking you beam up at Jake.
“The real question here is how are they not together?” Phoenix asked and Coyote shrugged.
“They were a long time ago… They broke up before college because they knew it was going to be impossible to stay together.”
“What a load of shit, they are so in love,” she replied with a faux-gag and Hannah scoffed behind them, coming to see what they were all looking at.
“I knew it,” she muttered and Phoenix shot her a glare.
“Just go home already,” she said exasperatedly and the boys all stifled their laughter.
“Oh come on, you guys are shameless,” Bob said as he returned from the bathroom. “Let them have their moment.” 
“I’m sorry about Hannah,” Jake said as you settled in the sand and you just shrugged.
“It’s okay… I’m sorry about Blake,” you replied and he shook his head.
“I want you to be happy.”
“I want you to be happy, too,” you said, turning your head to face him.
“Are you?” he asked and you pondered this for a moment. 
“I don’t know… I’m happy right now,” you offered and he nodded. “I really like it here… and you might be stationed here permanently?” 
He sighed, “maybe… I don’t want you making any career decisions on my behalf,” he said and you looked back to the water.
“I know.” It fell silent between you two as you both watched the waves. You really were happy right now, you’d known the other pilots officially for a handful of hours but you felt like you were better friends with them than Holly or anyone else back in Boston… you’d come out of your shell and you felt like you were at home. You knew he was going to encourage you to at least hear out any other offers from other hospitals, and you knew that you should but you just didn’t want to. Even if Hannah was someone permanent and even if you didn’t really know where the two of you stood you wanted to be here. “Would it be such a bad thing if I did choose San Diego because of you?” you finally asked.
“I don’t know… I just don’t want you missing out on other opportunities,” he answered.
“They made me a really good offer,” you said, turning to look at him and he raised his eyebrows questioningly. “The salary is way above a standard fellows, they basically greenlit my rural health initiative, and offered to cover my relocation costs, a mortgage allowance and to absorb all of my loans,” you said and his eyes widened. “Even if I consider other hospitals all they’ll be able to do is try and match that, and it’s a really good hospital… you being here is just kind of the final thing that makes it perfect.”
“If you took me out of the equation and another hospital offered you the same, would you take it?”
You shrugged, “I don’t know. San Diego was my number one before I even knew you might be here permanently.” 
He nodded, “don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more than for you to be here but I just want you to consider all of your options.”
“I know,” you said, refocusing on the water. “But I just don’t think making a decision because of you would be a bad thing.”
“I didn’t say-”
“You kind of did.” you cut him off, “and I get it… I wouldn’t want you doing the same for me but… Hannah? That sucked, and I know it didn’t feel good hearing me say I was seeing someone,” you said. “I just… I’m tired, Jake. I had more fun tonight than I’ve probably ever had, I can see myself living here and I just don’t want to have to justify that to you because you think I should keep my options open.” 
“I’m sorry,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and you leaned into him. 
“Everything has been hard… the last ten years of my life have just been hard and I’m finally in a position where I can do something that would make everything so much easier so if that’s what I decide to do just… let me, okay?” 
“Okay,” he said, holding you tight as you let your eyes drift closed. “I’m really proud of you, Jupiter.”
“I know…” you said, twisting your neck to look up at him. “I’m really proud of you too...”
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ni-kiiiii · 7 months ago
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PS• Crying
“Y/n you’re working late again right?” Your roomie sunghoon asks you.
You found that suspicious. Was he planning to someone over you thought. But who were you to care it’s not like you guys were dating …. Yet.
“ yup, why?” You say
“ no reason” he responds blandly.
“ okay then bye hoon” you waved before leaving the apartment.
- at work
“ Hey can someone cover for me today?, I promise I will return the favor”
“ of course y/n but what time do you plan on leaving work early?” Your dear friend tomoya ask you. As you thought, you decided 12 would be a good time since sunghoon would still be up.
“ 12:00am”
“ mk y/ninne”
Your brain was still stuck in the fact that sunghoon has double checked if you were gonna be home the next morning.
You worked while continuously looking at the clock. You were a bit worried to see what you would found out. A part of you wanted to hear something you shouldn’t. Which was sunghoon palming himself. You mentally slapped yourself for thinking like that. ‘ Get your head out of the damn gutter’ you told yourself. There could be something more important than that.
-
As time went by 12:00am hit. You packed your stuff up and waved moya(tomoya) goodbye. Then walked home.
When you arrived at your building stopped before going in. You don’t know exactly why but you felt like you were gonna interrupt whatever sunghoon was doing.
You went in through the main entrance and walked to the elevators. You pressed the button and waited for it to come down. Which didn’t take long, Since you only had 4 floors in your building. The elevator opened. You went inside and pressed the button 4.
The door soon slided opened and then you walked to your door. You got your key from your bag and put it into the door then opened it.
You went into your home silently has possible but that didn’t matter since sunghoon was still in the same spot ehen you left which was in the living couch.
You immediately saw sunghoon with his feet up to his chest and his head resting on his knees. You heard sniffling sounds comming from him.
Out of nowhere he spoke.
“ I thought you were coming home in the morning” he said.
“ well good thing I didn’t” you said softly while walking to him. You went to your knees and looked at him. He wouldn’t look at you which was understandable considering he was crying.
“ Hoonie what’s wrong?”
“ i don’t know i just feel like im burden and I get on peoples nerves”
“ Hoon you are literally the complete opposite of that” you reassured him.
With that’s he finally looked at you. He had super red eyes and a pink around them.
“Who even made you feel like that?”
“ So at practice today I couldn’t get the choreo right and the members kept saying things to me like| “no one has time to be here all day”, “ bruh this shit is super easy”, “ oh my god it’s literally always him”| I just couldn’t take it no more. I needed to let it out. So I figured this time would be the right time. Since I would be alone and wouldn’t be embarrassed for cry you know.”
“ Sunghoon don’t let there nasty words get to you. You literally are the best dancer out of all of them. Also you shouldn’t be embarrassed for crying. Baby you could come and I’ll make you feel better.” You smiled at him.
‘ y/n why’d you call him baby? Your so stupid!’ You thought to yourself.
“ thanks y/n i appreciate you a lot for that”
“ do you wanna come to my room and we can watch movies and eat candy?” You ask him trying to cheer him up.
“ mhm” he nodded his head.
“ come then”
You got up and grabbed his hand. You squeezed it and walked to your room.
“ go sit down in my bed”
He sat in the middle of the bed and waited for you.
“ I have to change so just turn around okay?” You say.
He nods and turns around fully.
You grab sweats and a hoodie and change into them quickly.
Once you were done you tossed your dirty clothes into the bin and hopped on the bed. Sunghoon jumped a little at the surprise of you. He turned around and saw your new clothes.
“ so what do you wanna watch hoon?” You ask him.
“ what ever you wanna watch” he tells you.
“ nope not an answer” you scolded him softly.
End. this is really bad i know.
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thelastwarriorofsunflowers · 2 months ago
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A Blonde Knight & A Green Ninja's Journey to the Top, Chapter 2: Strike With Your Heart! -
Lie Ren arose from his slumber to the sound faint snoring from Nora, and looked at the time. It was only 4:30 AM, but he decided it would be a great time to start the day. He decided to rise from his covers and make his bed. Neatly he made his bed taking time. It was 4:45 now; he knew day break was coming soon. Thus he decided to wake Jaune up by shaking him gently," Jaune, wake up. We have to start training soon."
"Hng… okay…" Jaune had weakly said as he stirred up from sleep. His head was a bit distraught from waking up so early compared to most things. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Shaking his head to gain his bearings, Jaune began to fix his bed. He requested something to Ren," Hey Ren, write a note or something to tell Pyrrha and Nora that we'll be out all day training, but meet up with them for meals."
Lie Ren on the other hand after waking Jaune up, grabbed his training outfit. It was a black shirt with black jogging pants. Ren went to the bedroom and changed into the outfit. He had also grabbed two refillable water bottles, towels for sweat, and his knife. As for his compatriot, the blond grabbed a white shirt with some grey sweatpants. They were fitted to workout now. He had heard Jaune's suggestion, and he complied. The green ninja wrote down a note, that said:
"Hey, Nora and Pyrrha, me and Jaune will be training for the entire day, alone. We'll meet up with you two and Team RWBY once you start going to breakfast. Enjoy your day, Lie Ren and Jaune."
"Let's go Jaune, I wrote the note," Ren told and then started to go towards the training rooms. Jaune followed suit. They arrived at the facility at around 5 AM, daybreak had just began. Ren then led Jaune inside to the area they were going to train. The first lesson was going to begin," Jaune, since you didn't have formal training, I would assume that you don't have strength, flexibility, or stamina training even after getting healthier as a child. So we're going to focus on that til breakfast which Pyrrha and Nora will definitely want us to attend with them. We won't do anything to rigorous because we haven't ate yet, but we'll still touch on some of the more basic training exercises and make our way up."
Jaune nodded and they began. Simple exercises and stretches were their main focus til breakfast. He wished that he had some coffee though… because he was already losing focus.
Pyrrha shifted as light started to peer into her eyes. Ah. Daylight has risen and she must now get up. Thankfully it was a Saturday, but the new tournament regulations and rules had her on an edge. But the entire reason why she was considered invincible was because of her semblance, so maybe this was actually a blessing in disguise. Maybe she'd actually be for once at even odds with everyone! Only three people treated her like a teenage girl besides her new team. She had hopeful wishing now, but was just thinking to herself now. She looked at the clock… it was about 7:30 now.
Nora was also starting to wake up too. She on the other hand was ecstatic as always. She quite literally jumped out of bed. Most of her sheets flew out. Nora's thoughts were quite simple, she was ready for breakfast! But she did notice something, where was Jaune-Jaune and Renny? She was confused… they were always there when she woke up.
"Hey, Pyrrha… Where's Jaune and Ren? They're usually here," Nora had asked.
Pyrrha just now breaking out here thoughts, and answered Nora's question," Let's look around…" she stood up and looked at a note on the main desk. "They left a note. It says their going to train the whole day alone, and that to contact them when we're going to eat with Team RWBY."
"Oh! If that's the case, we should definitely get ready and go to the cafeteria! And on our way lets contact them, so I can eat amazing pancakes with my friends!" Nora had said with great enthusiasm.
And so they each took a shower and felt refreshed, they had once put on their casual outfits. Nora in her usual fashion chose a light pinkish skirt with a white shirt with a heart on it. Pyrrha's outfit was also pretty in character for her. A black shirt with a golden jacket and jeans that matched.
"Ready?" Pyrrha asked.
Nora instantly responded," Yep!"
Once they left their dorm, they had knocked on their sister team's door. Pyrrha was the first to knock and say something. "Hey guys, do you all want to go to breakfast with us?"
Some subsequent rumbling noises are heard… concerning. Then Yang popped open the door, and with a bombastic smile said," Yep! We sure will! Just give us about 10 minutes! Weiss here is taking her sweet time."
Pyrrha nodded and then the duo entered the room. They sat on Blake's bed as they waited for Weiss. Both of they conversed with the other team asides from Blake, she was reading. After the 10 minutes Weiss had appeared, and they began walking towards the cafeteria while talking. As they walking, Pyrrha had shot a message to Jaune and Ren to meet them for breakfast now.
Jaune was sweating, but in his eyes sweating was an understatement. He sat with Ren taking swigs of water. Thankfully, he was kind enough to grab those water bottles. The coolness met with the heat was simply relief. Jaune's scroll had buzzed so did Ren's. Both boys panting picked it up and saw the message. It was from Pyrrha, and said," Hey guys, we're up and heading to breakfast. Meet you in a few, and we'll be sitting where we usually sit." Jaune had repeated this Ren too.
Ren nodded once Jaune finished relaying the message. He stood up, grabbed his towels and passed one to Jaune. Jaune brighting up had bow his head and chuckled. He took it in his hands and then brought it to his head and wiped the sweat off his brow. Jaune then spoke first," I'll send the message that we'll be there in a few minutes."
"Alright. Just so you know after breakfast, me and you, we'll begin combat training, unless something changes," Ren notifies Jaune. Jaune then typed up the message, and he sent the message. "Wanna start walking?"
"Yeah, let's go ahead," Jaune said as he got up too.
The two began to start walking towards the cafeteria with Ren. The walk was silent, but very tranquil. Jaune was really hoping that Ren would go easy on him, he was still a bit unfocused. His face was neutral with it's expression, but was simply smiling internally. The blonde was running on adrenaline after all, but he began to gain his bearings. The other half of the duo on the other hand was thinking more intensely making a scowl on his face. He was wondering, what was Jaune's motivation for the Vytal Festival. He only knows why Jaune became a huntsmen, participating in this was different, he expected that Jaune… didn't have true heart.
Eventually they reach the cafe, and message Pyrrha that they'll grab their breakfast first. Ren takes some grilled chicken breast, some hash browns, and a yogurt with fruit out of todays entrees. As for his drink, he ordered a water. Jaune on the other hand grabs an omelet, with greens, and a side of applesauce. His drink was coffee… he needed the caffeine.
They quickly found their friends, and sat by them, Jaune sat by Ruby and Ren resided by Yang. Most of them finished already, but were just chatting amongst themselves. Yang quickly spoke," Whoa, VB! You look like you ran three marathons! Ren, you look pissed!"
"Huh?" both the boys of the group said.
"Yeah, Jaune-Jaune you look like your going to pass out at any second, and Renny looked angry than I've ever seen," Nora backed up Yang's statement.
"I'm running on adrenaline. Ren here decided that it would be best to start the day off by starting off with running, which is one way to torture me," Jaune had explained his reasons to looking gaunt. He continued to eat his breakfast though.
Ren on the other hand told his thoughts," I was just wondering about everyone's motivation about the tournament, our team had already decided to be part of the top eight no matter what. I assume the same for you all, Team RWBY."
"Of course! We all wish to fight spectacle battles, and who knows if we all get to the top eight… We might actually be able to team up with you guys officially!" Ruby responded exclamatory with excitement.
Weiss then chimed in," We want to team up with you guys! It would be… let's just say an experience!" but she did add a whisper of shade towards the blonde knight," Except Jaune, he's inadequate." But Pyrrha was the only one who heard her, but wouldn't act on calling her out.
"Hey… you said something about our motivation right, Ren?" Blake had asked, this was one of the only times she spoke, much less to Ren. That was more unlikely than Nora speaking to Weiss! She continued," Are you talking about a personal motivation?"
"Yes, what is everyones reason for joining?" Ren had asked this question to gauge how far they are going to go, but his primary reason? To find out what Jaune's was. He was finished eat, and so was Jaune. They were just letting the food digest before working again.
Nora was the first to speak. It wasn't like anyone was going to stop her in the first place. "I want to join because I never participated in one, and because… I wish to honor my parents, they were so kind to me, and I want to help them a lot!"
"Oh? We taking turns? Well I'm mainly wishing to be the top eight to have a good fight, and to get closer to being able to fight better than everyone especially Pyrrha over there!" Yang had bombastically said, but in actuality she thought this would make her biological mom notice her. Pyrrha chuckled at the mention of her name.
Ruby quickly spoke next," I want to fight because of our mom's legacy! Our mom used to fight in tournaments and was a winner in many of them!" A noble reason, but it was one way to feel more connected to her mom.
Blake spoke next. She was the first to speak about Ren's question. "I wish to fight in the tournament for the Faunus. I want to raise awareness for them."
Weiss was next, but it was way more than what the table had thought. They expected her to fight for an academic reason. Weiss exclaimed her reason," To prove that I am more than just an heiress to a company, but also because my father inhibited me numerous times, telling me it was improper."
Pyrrha was next… much less to everyones' surprise she had a pretty interesting answer," Well I have too… It is in most of my contracts that it said if I attended Beacon, I would have to always try to participate in the Festival, but my main reason… hopefully see my old friends from Sanctum, but… never mind that. I wouldn't spill the whole story on you guys. What about you, Jaune?"
This is it, I get to see Jaune's drive and determination. It better be for a noble reason! Ren was thinking these thoughts, but if Jaune give an adequate answer… the ninja sure as well we make him look deep inside and make sure there is flame. His compatriots had noble and honorific reasons.
"Wait. Let me go first. I asked first and everyone responded. Let me answer before you, Jaune. I wish to fight in this tourney for my honor and the honor of my old village," Ren said with a sullen tone. Memories… old precious memories that were sullen. He held tight onto his knife and looked down.
Jaune was next and was last. He said the most basic reason," It seems fun and special, so why not? Plus it is a good team bonding exercise.
Ren knew it. Everyone wanted to fight for something, they held to their heart. Nora for her old village; Yang is doing to improve herself; Ruby is for legacy; Blake for her race; Weiss with her breaking the chains; Pyrrha fought to see her old friends and tradition; and his reason memories of old. Jaune was only doing it for fun and to improve our team bond…
I knew it. He doesn't have heart, I'll need to instill a drive, so he can gain heart. He thought. Ren was disappointed now. He gripped his knife and stood up. He only said few words, but the depth in those words were full of hints of disappointment. Ren ordered Jaune," Jaune. Lets go, were training."
"Umm… was it me or did Ren actually look disappointed, especially at Jaune?" Yang asked in a sheepish tone but she just added," Eh… doesn't matter, so you guys wanna go to the arcade?"
Jaune was walking with a fruit of awkward tension in the air. The knight was concerned, his friend was awfully silent with him. But once they reached their training room, Ren broke the silence. The green ninja questioned," Is that it? You're only competing because it looks fun and is a team bonding exercise? Is that truly why, Jaune?"
"Well no…" Jaune answered back; Ren was hopeful that he actually had heart and a drive," I only really came up with that because I was put on the spot."
Ren's blood was heating up, but he shook it off. He then went and go some yoga mats; Jaune was confused why he was doing this. Ren then laid them out. Motioning for Jaune to sit on one of them, both of them faced each other while sitting. Ren looked into Jaune's intrigued eyes. "Jaune, do you have a reason to fight in this tourney?" Ren asked.
Jaune was sweating beads of nervousness. He was wondering why Ren was so pressed about this. The blonde then asked," Ren… Why are you acting pressed about me fighting?"
"It is simple Jaune, if you don't have a clear cut reason, you are doomed to fail even out of tournaments. I know you want to fight to prove your parents wrong, but it seems as though… you don't often think of why. Dig deep and tell me the main reason why you fight, and don't just tell me, to be a hero. That's your reasoning to be a huntsman, but why strive to be a champion?" Ren had said.
"Why I fight…? I…" Jaune was thinking. Ren started to guide Jaune into a meditative state, allow their breathing to calm down and become shallow. Jaune closed his eyes, and he began to visualize himself fighting. He guided himself through his mind. Thoughts of his drive was taking form. Fire… fire was the reason… a passionate fire for fighting fueled by everyone watching. He saw himself using the tournament for fuel to make his passion burn like a fire.
Fire that burned around him with a person in the middle. He raised his blade against her, and they clashed. Cinders open around him and this mysterious girl. Both clashed their blades. Strikes causing sparks. On lookers from the crowd noticing how intense and passionate the kiss of blades brought. Her blade makes impact with his shield, and his blade is parried by another blade that was hidden. But Jaune sweeps the woman and holds his sword to where it is deemed victory via fatal shot availability. The girl smiles and so does Jaune, as he hears the dream-like crowd cheer him on.
Jaune opened his eyes, and looked at Ren and said," I fight to fuel my passion for being an huntsman and to give everyone something to believe in."
"Good. Now that you have found your flare and heart, we begin true training," Ren says as he stands up. He helps Jaune up," Let's truly start training. We are going to fight via hand to hand combat, and then we'll begin to work with your form with a sword and shield."
After a few hours of training, Jaune struck the boxing bag with his fists. He would not be deterred from his goal. He'll work overtime if he has too. The impact sent shockwaves through the bag, but didn't feel impactful. It felt light, but that was the point Ren said. To make punches feel aerodynamic and quick, Jaune need to punch light but hard. It was unlike most students' style of fighting with fists or their legs. They struck hard and fast with heavy impact, but not Ren and his disciple.
As for his sword and shield techniques… Ren's words were stuck in his mind," You strike with your new found passion and drive. Your heart is showing itself. That is good, but now you need to work on form. Always have your shield ready to defend, and make sure that your blade is also up to defend and parry with. Not to mention, your agility. I think you have the most potential out of everyone here with a blade."
Those matches against each other allowed Ren to gauge how much development and possible skill he could bring out of him. His brother in arms was a secretive one in terms off what he instills in Jaune. But Jaune only continued to work on what Ren said about fist-to-fist and weaponry skill, a slash and punch was what he worked on til he went back to the dorm to sleep and do it all over again to improve.
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khonshus-stardust · 2 years ago
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I'm Not Jealous
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Pairings: Khonshu x Reader, (Slight) Marc Spector x Reader
Warnings: SMUT, nipple play, size kink, possessiveness (it’s Khonshu), use of toys, cum play, blow job, oral (male receiving)
Word Count: 3974
Summary: You're his. He's made this clear the last time you've interacted and ended up in your bed. It was your mistake though, thinking if you fuck him that'll ease him off. Nope, his possessive self is raging full two thousand percent. He makes himself clear once more this night. You'll be calling out for work for the next… week. There's no chance of you walking even to kitchen, let alone your car.
Author Note: Hey guys, sorry about the delay on writing stuff. I caught a mild case of Covid but it still made me super sleepy and tried. Plus, my chest was hurting. Anyhow, this is kind of an add-on to 'Jealousy? What Jealousy?' It can be read without reading that but it would always be nice to check out more Khonshu smut. There's not enough of that anywhere. That's why I'm fixing that problem.
Masterlist
Ao3
Part 2
Younglings, take your asses out of here. Go play with your dolls. This isn't the story you were looking for.
Smut below the cut
Slender arms wrapped around your waist, rousing you from your slumber. A groan rumbled in the back of your throat. One of your hands slithered up to feel rough clothe attached to the limbs encasing you. You lightly shifted your body, turning the other direction, and buried your face into familiar feeling cloth.
The chest you were snuggled up against vibrated. A deep voice washing over you, nearly lolling you back to sleep. That when you heard another voice. It felt like cotton was in your ears. Man, how tired were you? You muttered the noises to be quiet and curled more into a ball. They needed to leave you alone so you could fall back asleep for a good day or so.
Yet, your mumbled words seemed to make to situation worse. Both eyes groggily blinked up to see a dirty gold crescent moon staring at you. Huh? Khonshu? Wha…? You pulled your head further back to find the god in front of you, on his side, arms wrapped securely around you. His skull resting carefully on top of yours.
Well, this was new. “Khon? Why are you in my bed? While I’m sleeping?” you questioned and went to sit up when the moon god wouldn’t allow for that. His arms tightened and kept you snug to his chest.
“I sensed a disturbance and found Marc sneaking into your apartment. He tried to get in your room while you were sleeping. I was merely protecting you, Stardust,” Khonshu defended, voice vibrating his chest. It’s not that you would complain about cuddles, especially with him but you still had some nerves.
Mention man scoffed and raised a brow at Khonshu’s words. “I’ve been told its okay to crash here whenever. I was just trying to see if they were awake. You should know Khonshu how much of a night owl they are,” Marc argued and gestured with his arms to make his point. You were able to fight against Khonshu’s hold to sit up.
Said god moved with you. You were promptly pulled into his lap, long arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close to him. What were you going to do with him? You tiredly rubbed at your eyes and stared over at Marc. “Khon, he’s fine. He literally has a key to my place for that reason,” you sided with Marc.
Khonshu made a noise of disagreement, head turned to the side. Then he moved so his beak was right next to his ear. “You shouldn’t have given him a key.” This time, you rolled your eyes and fought him to get up.
“We’re good friends, Khonshu. Of course I gave him a key.” It was far too early to be arguing like this. First, you needed some sort of energy substance to keep your eyes at least open before entraining this whole situation. You yawned and walked past Marc. He turned with you and followed you out.
The next moment, wind whooshed around the room. Khonshu stood in the kitchen, staff in hand. “I thought we got over the whole jealousy thing, love? I thought you took that out on me two nights ago?” you questioned. That night was wonderful but you thought it would help the problem not make it worse by the way it seems.
Out of the corner of your eye, Marc tensed up, eyes wide. “I thought that was a nightmare,” he shuttered. You raised a brow at him then chuckled.
“It wasn’t that bad. You’ve probably seen worse,” you countered and poured yourself a cup of water. Your words may say you’re nonchalant about what happened but… the heat rising to your cheeks said otherwise. That night… you wouldn’t believe it happened if it wasn’t bruises on your hips and thighs.
A glare was set on you from the man. “Still a nightmare.” You took a large gulp of water and looked at Khonshu not too far away. He stood tall, a tight grasp on his staff and beak facing you. His gaze was set heavily on you, you felt it. “I don’t know how you could even do that with him.”
“It’s simple. You humans do it all the time to procreate,” Khonshu stated and walked behind you.
“That’s not what I meant! Wait, were you trying to… knock them up?” Marc whispered that last part, eyes wide as he stared at the two of you. “Can you even do that?” Both of your faces are blushing heavily at his words. He did not just ask that. But that last question now makes you concerned. You weren’t on any birth control, not needing it for anything. Yet, if he could, a new whole problem would be created.
The god places a gentle hand on your shoulder, fingers on the cusp of pressing into your skin. “No, I wasn’t. And I can’t, to my knowledge,” he answered and pulled you close to him. His body now pressed against yours. “That shouldn’t be any of your concern anyhow, Marc.”
Whisps of anger slowly appeared on said human’s face. “It is my concern, Khonshu. They’re my friend. And you’re just an old, dead, bird god that’s an ass to me more times that I can count,” he growled and took a couple of threatening steps up to the two of you. Your brows furrowed at the action yet surprise sparkled in your eyes.
“A friend you say, but your actions say otherwise.” Khonshu leaned over you and put his beak right in front of Marc’s face. “Why are you so angry? They can choose who they want to have intercourse with.” He had a point that neither of you could counter.
Marc angrily stared up at the tall god, silently. The two kept the quiet as you slowly sipped at your water. You felt yourself beginning to wake the longer you watched these two.
To be honest, it was hilarious to see these two argue from time to time. It was always one thing after another with them. But they always got the job done in the end it seems. “Are you two done bickering? I want to get some drawings in before I have to go work,” you butted in and stepped away from them. Both turned their heads towards you as you moved.
“We’re not bickering,” they stated sternly at the same time. You could only giggle at their antics and start a path back to your room, hips swaying noticeably.
“That says otherwise,” you said over your shoulder and was about to enter your room. When you suddenly ran into a cool body. Confused, your followed up from the stomach to find Khonshu before. You hated when he did that out of the blue. You gazed at him, a brow raised. “You’re not helping your situation, babes.”
You took a step to the side to get around him but he mimicked your movements. “Marc?” Khonshu questioned, voice rumbling in his chest. “What do you say?”
It was only silence behind you. What does that mean? You were about to turn your head when he finally spoke up. “If you’re willing to share,” he growled out and marched over to you, only a couple of steps behind you. “And if they’re okay with it.” They were acting like you weren’t right between them.
“I’m sorry but what are you two inferring while I’m right here? Because I’m fucking clueless,” you said with a hip jutted out and a hand resting on it. Someone’s own was placed on top of yours. You were pulled back to a warm chest. An arm slithered around your waist, a warm breath tickling the back of your neck. But you did not question or fear who it was. “Marc.”
“You’ve fucked the mummy bird. Would you like to have a turn with me? I promise you’ll be taken care of,” Marc whisper lowly into your ear. This couldn’t be happening. He was asking that of you. You laughed internally at the way of how described Khonshu.
One of you hands came up and rested over top of the arm around your waist. His warmth slowly seeping into your bones. “That’s not the deal, Marc,” Khonshu growled in front of you. Nimble fingers grasped your bicep and tried to pull you from the man’s hold. It didn’t work. Two begin to tug at you. “They’re mine.”
Your brows fell as annoyance filled your veins. With a groan, you pushed at the two, effectively moving them away from you. They gazed at you in shock. Khonshu returning to his full stance. You turned to fully face Marc, a soft smile on your lips. “Could we talk about this later? But I wouldn’t mind having a turn with you.”
Marc’s hard façade cracked into a minute smile. You stepped close and kissed him on the cheek. That completely broke him. “Alright fine. I’ll leave… let you two talk this out,” Marc stated and stared at you for a few extra seconds. Then, he took his leave.
The moment the door closed with a soft click, arms wrapped around you. A yelp accidently escaped you as you were promptly lifted off of your feet. “Khon! Why do you have to be so possessive sometimes? Or should I say jealous?” you teased and felt yourself land on the bed on your back.
Mention god crawled on top of your form. “I’m not jealous, little one. It’s just, you’re mine,” he growled and spread your legs, moving to be between them. One of your brows raised at his antics. You laughed at his words though and shook your head. “It’s the truth, Stardust.”
“So what was that deal I heard mentioned? Have the two of you talked about having a threesome?” you decided to get it out of the way. It’s all you could think of when you heard that.
To be honest, if they have been discussing those types of things, you couldn’t feel opposed. It felt like it would truly satisfy you in a strange way. You gazed up at lean god above you and waited for his response. But Khonshu stopped what he was doing and just stared down at you. One of his hands resting gentle on your sternum. “I won’t be mad if you had been.”
His stiff body deflated as if he releasing a breath, he sighed. “I see the way you look at him. I don’t want to let you go. I want you as mine…. But yes, we’ve made conversation about it a couple of times.” He paused his words to let that hand on you move up to gentle grasp your chin. “Would you like that? With him?”
Shock surged through your veins yet you refused to let it appear on your face. The times you’ve been around his stagnant personality, you’ve never seen him this soft before. You smiled at this. “I’ll have to talk with him then the three of us but I wouldn’t mind. I kinda like that stuff, mentally at least,” you stated in return and began to feel a little self-conscience about what you had said. Your shoulders bunched up, head slightly lowered.
Khonshu seemed to make a strange purr/growl noise at this. “You would love to be used by us. Wouldn’t you, Stardust?” The sound and his words made you squeak yet you felt yourself getting wetter. He chuckled at your reaction and moved that hand from your chin to where your shirt ended. You barely nodded your head, letting him remove your shirt and bra from you.
His thumb soft rubbed over your nipple. You shivered at the feeling and let a hand touch his chest. “I know a few things he could do for that I cannot do in this form. What do you say? Let him suck on your breasts? Or maybe eat you out? Let him eat you like a thirsty man far from the Nile? Would you let him do that to you?” His free hand started at your knee and began to slowly roam up.
Another shiver raked your form. Your nails tug into the rough cloth that covered his chest, eyes softly closing on their own. The god chuckled, beak close to your ear. “I asked you question, Stardust.” The gentle ministrations turned a little harsh. He pinched the nipple he was playing with. You gasped, eyes flying open to peer up at him.
“Yes, Khonshu, yes! I would,” you confessed, hands gripping at what was in reach. His moving hand stopped at your hip, fingers pressing into the flesh there.
Gods, you wanted him to fuck you like how he did last time. Inside his own thoughts, he was thinking the same damn thing. Seeing you blissed out, sweat covering your skin. Maybe he’ll cover you with cum. That would mark you as his.
Only his.
He wished he had a tongue just to taste you but he can use Marc. That’s what he’s for. A hum sounded from him. “Good, Little Bug, good. We’ll set something up. But for right now-“ both hands now gripped at your waist band and pulled- “you’re mine. I’ll show you.”
Your pants were promptly removed from you. Same as your underwear. Everything seemingly thrown hazardously into the darkening room. The sun soon to set.
Each leg was spread wide to accommodate the large being before you. Even as lean as he is, he still was bigger than a human. That thought made you silently keen. His hand rested on your mound, thumb drawing light circles around your clit. Not this again! You just wanted him to fuck you. “Khon, just fuck me. Please. No more teasing,” you begged and played the puppy dog eyes on him. It usual worked on him.
This time was completely different than that.
A chuckle sounded from the moon god and he shook his head. “I was able to get you to come once before I even fucked you. How about two times?” his words rolled over you like melting butter. Your eyes widened at that, brows furrowing.
“But, Khon… I-I, it’s hard for me to come more than once. That was luck last time. I don’t think I’ll be able to this time,” you confessed and pulled your arms to your chest, heart thumping against its boney cage.
If the god could, he would’ve raised a nonchalant brow at this. Hm. If that’s the case, he might need more than just his fingers and cock. He wanted to ensure you were comfortable and confident. That’s biggest part on making you come, let alone the three times he wants at least.
He sat up, hands resting on your thighs. “You already sent Marc away so I’ll have to be creative.” Even with a face that cannot move, you could hear the smirk in his voice. That made you worried on what he had up his sleeve and tilted your head. He didn’t say anything else.
The bed creaked under his weight. Khonshu stretched a long arm and pulled open your second nightstand drawer. Fear and embarrassment filled your veins. “Wait!” you called. He placed a hand on sternum and forced you still. How does he know? Yeah check the first one but he completely bypassed that and went for…
Metal squeaked quietly. The hand on your chest let his thumb softly run over one of you nipples, slightly distracting me. You tried to wiggle to stop him. “There’s nothing in there! No reason to op-“ Khonshu pulled out a pink vibrator.
Blood flushed to your instantly, hands grasping at the sheets below. All you could do was pathetically stare at the object he held in front of you. “I’ll have this to help me.” He set it off to the side and plucked something else from the drawer. Nipple clamps. Gods, you hoped the ground opened up and swallowed you whole.
You used your hands to cover your blushing face. A groan sounded from the back of your throat. But a sudden thought hit you. “How did you even know those were there?” You refused to uncover, surviving in the darkness.
The god chuckled. “I have my secrets,” is all he gave to you before setting both objects to the side. Khonshu returned to his former position. One thumb teasing your nipple, the other circling around your clit. A soft gasp coming from you.
Before you could let yourself fully embrace the feeling he was pushing you towards, you were able to place a hand on his shoulder. “Wait, wait. Khon, can you…” you trailed off, unable to fully say what you want.
“Can I what? Come, Little Bug. Tell your god what you want.” Both of his hands didn’t slow, still keeping a constant, even pressure.
Words failed you. How could you ask such a thing from anyone? Let alone him! You bit your lip, hand fiddling with rough texture of his clothing. His own on your chest moved back up to your chin and grasped it. “You can tell me, Stardust.”
With a deep breath and a moment of hesitance, you spoke your mind, voice quiet. “Ca-can you let me see…” Come on, you can do this! It’s just Khonshu. “Your dick, please.” You were finally able to get off of your chest. His head quirked to the side.
“Is that what got you all nervous? You wanting to see your gods cock? You don’t need to be so embarrassed about it, Stardust. I’ll happily show you.” The hand on your chin was removed and headed towards what could be considered his belt. With nimble fingers, the strange looking belt was removed from his waist.
Once that was dropped, he messed with the wrappings that covered that area. Yet, when he pulled his flaccid, cream-colored cock out, your lips pressed together.
Since he was kneeling between your open legs, the god was within reach. Without another word, your hand easily grasped the only part of him that looked like flesh. A purr/growl noise rumbled in his chest, movements stuttering. You smirked at this and gave him a decent squeeze. He bowed his skull, beak brushing against the skin on your stomach.
As you went to start a slow pace, a nimble hand wrapped around yours and hesitate to pull you off. “This is about you. Not me. I’m going to take care of you.” His words made you melt but still.
You pulled out your famous puppy dog eyes. “Please, Khonshu. I wanna, you know,” you pleased, hand trying to grasp his cock again. His size easily fit his stature. Not the thickest, though it didn’t feel that way when he was inside of you, but his length was impressive.
Khonshu didn’t say anything, only letting his thumb finally rest on top of your clit. Your eyes widened at the feeling, hips on the verge of humping. “Only if you tell me what you want. That’s the deal,” he countered and held a tight grip around your wrist.
“But-but you know what I want!” He shook his large head and let his thumb press harder. You couldn’t help but to thrust your hips up, gaining friction. A moan spilled from your lips at this. Yet, a thought came to your head. This might be plan to distract you.
No. You shook your head and attempted to reach forward but he wouldn’t allow that. With a growl and through gritted teeth, you gave in. “I want to suck you off, okay?” The god before you snickered, shoulders shaking with the movement. You rolled your eyes with a slight pout.
He released your hand, snapping you out of your pout. Before he had the chance to change his mind, you were quick to grasp his dick again and squeezed again. Khonshu rested that hand on your chest, head slightly bowed again. “You’re going to be the death of me, Stardust. You know that?” Laughter bubbled softly in the back of your throat.
As his thumb played with your clit, you leaned forward onto your elbow and stroked him. When you got to his base, you applied pressure. At his tip, you ran your thumb over the end.
Tiny spurts of pre-cum smeared across that same finger. You brought it up to your tongue and gentle licked it okay. For one, you weren’t expecting that. For two, you truly don’t mind the taste. You hummed at the taste before returning to your previous movements.
But greed over came you. You are human after all.
You disregarded the hand between your legs and moved to be on your stomach, face in front of his hardening cock. As you did this, the wetness growing couldn’t be ignore. The god was effective, something you couldn’t just ignore. “Little Bug, what in the world do you think you’re doing?”
“I told you what I wanted to do,” you sassed at him then take a long lick from the base to tip. Khonshu choked on his next words. A hand resting on top of your hair. When you got to the top, you wrapped your lips around just the tip and suckled.
The hand on your head grasp what strands of hair he could. Pain flared to life at the grip strength but you ignored it and just sucked. Your name was stuttered from the god. He was having an internal battle on letting you suck him off or just say fuck it and pound into you. Ever since last time, he couldn’t get over the fact you’re so small compared to him. That made you so tight around him.
To make the whole situation though, he reached forward with his other hand and slight a finger into your cunt. The slick that had been growing since the two of you started easily helped guide him in.
A moan was vibrating in the back of your throat. That sent waves of pleasure of his spine. Khonshu pulled on your hair towards him. You did your absolute best to accommodate his length. “Good,” he purred, fucking purred. He sounded like sin.
All he could wish for in this moment was a mouth and tongue, just so you could feel the same way he is. He gently thrusted as he moved your head in a gentle rhythm. Still having half the mind of your comfort and safety. “Stardust!” his voice went up an octave. It was all you doing this to him.
Suddenly, your head was pulled back, body pushed onto your back. The moon god crawled to be between your legs, a hand quickly stroking his cock.  Quiet whispers of your name were rumbling in his chest.
Finally, his skull was thrown back. White ropes of cum spurted from his cock all over your chest and stomach. A lot more than what the average person could produce covered what he could reach. You simply reached down and took a scoop. It had the same consistency as humans. Then, you decided to take a full taste. Not half bad for a god that like looked a mummy.
When he was done, a low hum growled from deep in his chest. Even without eyes, you could feel a dangerous gaze set ablaze on your already fiery skin. “Khon?” you whimpered in the quiet.
A deep chuckle sounded from him, shoulders shaking with the noise. “Your turn, Stardust.” You were promptly pounced on by the moon god.
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ourflagmeansgayrights · 3 years ago
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SO funny to me that one of the first flashbacks we get of the life stede ran away from is him sitting at the end of the table unable to connect with his wife and kids bc it makes it look like stede is trying to reach out but his wife hates him for whatever reason and he has no respect in his home life so no wonder he ran away!
but then the more we see of stede and mary's marriage the more obvious it becomes that mary was the one trying to actually make their relationship work (painting him an anniversary gift that referenced their wedding, asking stede to play with their children, asking him to talk to her before bed abt how unhappy he is) and stede just. either doesn't get it (accidentally insults mary's painting, plays pirates with his kids when she specifically asked him not to) or just shuts down (pretends to be asleep instead of talking abt his feelings)
and any time stede "reached out" in their relationship it wasn't by actually paying attention mary's interests or doing things as a family it was just him trying to get her to like the things he was into (trying to get his whole family to live on a boat when she'd very recently told him she hated the ocean, ignoring what mary said abt the kids getting nightmares and playing pirates with them). and sharing your interests is one thing in a healthy relationship where you both communicate openly but stede very obviously did not pay attention to the things mary liked or did, so by only opening up about what he liked it just always came off as rude and self-absorbed.
honestly this makes that first scene make so much more sense, too! mary's sitting for dinner and and she asks her daughter about her favorite horse and her husband (who never asks mary about her life, interests, feelings, friends, anything) butts in to say "oh well my favorite horse–" like stede she wasn't talking to you! she was talking to her kids! and of course he butts in to talk about his opinions and his favorite horse instead of engaging in the actual conversation going on (he could've told alma "oh, good choice!" or he could've asked about their favorite pig or he could've asked mary what her favorite horse was or anything else but he just butt in to talk about himself, again)*. and this is such a minor moment so of course for stede it feels like an unnecessarily rude rejection but for mary this is her entire life since the day they got married. maybe early in the marriage she would've smiled politely at him before moving on but at this point she's so tired (and rightfully so!) that like. yeah she just stares at him and then ignores him.
and then a few episodes later, after she's built a new life for herself without him, he comes back in and NOW is trying to ask her about her painting and stuff, after all the years she's spent trying to reach out to him. and then he crashes her fucking show!! calls her modestly into question in front of the whole town and ruins what's supposed to be HER night!!!! honest to god i love stede but if i was mary i ALSO would've tried to kill him!!!!!!!!!!
*(and for the record i'm writing abt this from mary's perspective, from stede's perspective as a probably-neurodiverse man of course he doesn't mean to be a dick, he's just making conversation, but this moment is just one of literal Years worth of him not putting effort into their marriage, so even if mary is misinterpreting this moment, at this point she kind of has the right to do so)
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mostlybarnes · 4 years ago
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It’s My Party, You’re Not Invited (Part Two)
Summary: The morning after Bucky threw a party, you confront him but it doesn’t go according to plan.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader
Warnings: more angst, arguing, Bucky is an asshole, language, not proof read, mistakes are my own!
Words: 1,567
Author’s Notes: Wow. I absolutely can not believe the support on part one! I’m so happy you guys liked it, and of course I’m always happy to give people what they want and since so many of you asked for part two, here it is! Really hope you won’t be disappointed, please let me know what you think. And don’t worry, there WILL be a part three. This isn’t the end!!
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As you had predicted, you got no sleep. Your night consisted of you tossing and turning and occasionally groaning loudly into your pillow.
Your pillow was your closest friend, it captured your falling tears, and provided you with comfort when you couldn’t rest. The morning sun was pouring through your parted drapes, a new day was beginning and you knew you definitely wouldn’t be getting any sleep now.
Lazily, you threw the blankets off of you and sat on the edge of your bed, your palms on either side of you, digging into the mattress. Bucky not inviting you to his party shouldn’t have bothered you, but for some reason, it did. It was the reason you got no sleep, and you were annoyed by how Nat and your friends treated you last night. They were laughing and you couldn’t help but feel like they were laughing at you, even if they weren’t. Today would be the day you would confront Bucky, no matter what. But first, you needed a hot shower to try and wash away the tension that was rolling off your shoulders.
The shower itself would have taken a good ten minutes on a good day, but you spent almost an hour on the shower floor with your knees tucked under your chin and fresh tears disappearing under the shower head. Pathetic, you told yourself. Crying over something that wasn’t even your fault. How dare he treat you this way and make you feel broken. Speak of the devil, through the sounds of your cries and the water cascading down around you, your thoughts snapped back to reality when you heard his laugh from the hallway again.
Enough was enough with his games, you needed to know why you didn’t get an invite, it was just a simple little question.
Standing up off the shower floor with shaky legs, you turned off the shower and stepped out to grab the towel off the rail and pat yourself dry. In your haste to get dressed, your clothes were mismatched and your sweater was turned inside out. You didn’t care about that though, you needed to speak with Bucky. You needed answers.
You left your room and followed the sounds of the chatter coming from the common room. Your feet quickly carried you there, stopping in the doorway and noticing the room was completely trashed from last night’s shenanigans.
Broken glass was scattered over the marble floors, there were literally hundreds of solo cups all over the tables, there was even a broken window.
What the hell happened here? You wondered, stepping into the room, being careful not to tread on glass.
“Watch your feet!” Bucky warned, holding his hands up to halt your footsteps. “There’s glass everywhere.”
“No shit.” You scoffed, folding your arms across your chest and rolling your eyes. You heard him click his tongue as he worked on sweeping up the glass. “I heard you had a party?”
“Uh yeah, just some close friends and stuff.” He shrugged, and ouch if that didn’t fucking hurt.
“Really? I didn’t know you were– were close friends with people from…. statistics?” Anger was rushing through your veins, his nonchalant attitude wasn’t making this any easier and neither was the lack of sleep. You wondered what had happened to the sweet guy you knew. The shy Bucky who couldn’t even make himself a sandwich because he was afraid of being mocked by the other avengers. Or the Bucky that loved to sip herbal tea at 3 in the morning. Where did that Bucky go? Who is this Bucky? It was like a switch flipped and he changed overnight.
“What is this about, Y/N? You walk in here with some kind of an attitude problem and I’m tired, it’s early and I’m not in the mood.” He snapped and that was it for you. If he was tired, you were something else.
You stepped into the room regardless of the broken glass still all over the floor, not caring if any shards cut your feet as you stand toe to toe with Bucky. You shove him, but not surprised when he doesn’t budge.
“Where was my invite? What did I do to you to make you forget about me? It shouldn’t even be a big deal but–”
“Then stop making it a big deal! Is that what this is really about huh? It was my party and I invited the people I wanted to be there!”
“Wha– but you invited everyone but me!” You cried, your voice breaking at the end.
“Then maybe that tells you something.” He offers no sympathy to your state of distress. At least not to your face, it’s when you turn your back and he hears you cry harder does his own heart break. He didn’t mean for this to happen and the Black Widow’s footsteps behind him is about to remind him of his mistakes.
“You’ve really messed this up Barnes. I’m not sure Y/N will ever forgive you.” Bucky turns to look at Nat. Guilt and anger written all over his face.
“You don’t think I know that?! I did it to protect Y/N!”
“Well, what are you gonna do about it?”
“I don’t know.”
////
The day away from the compound was exactly what you needed. The air was refreshing and cold, biting against your skin. It helped to clear your thoughts that were running in circles since you talked to Bucky. You still didn’t have a clear answer as to why he chose not to invite you, and that bothered you more than anything, but what he did say replayed in your mind. You suppose he had a point, it was his party and up to him who he chose to invite but it confused you because you thought you were on good terms with Bucky. Did you get it wrong? Where did it all go wrong?
Your fingers wrapped around the mug as you sat in the corner of the quiet coffee shop with a friend as they watched you watch the world go by.
“Okay, what’s going on?” They asked, blowing into the hot liquid before taking a quick sip.
A deep sigh fell from between your lips. Your body and mind felt exhausted, it was hard to concentrate.
“I don’t even know. I feel like I’m overreacting.” You shrugged, licking your lips and looking into your coffee as if seeking the answers to your unanswered questions.
“Overreacting? Did something happen on the mission you just got back from?”
“No, no. Something that happened after that. You know Bucky, right?”
“Bucky Barnes?” They asked with a raised eyebrow. You nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat. “What about him?”
“I just– I– would you be honest with me and tell me if I’m overreacting?” You bit your lip nervously and your friend nodded.
“Of course! Tell me everything.”
True to their word, your friend sat and listened to every single word without interruptions or sassy remarks. They didn’t stop to ask you questions, and they didn’t make you feel pathetic like you felt. Talking about it out loud made you feel stupid, maybe it was stupid to get angry over something so small. That maybe deep down Bucky had a good reason not to invite you. Maybe you just weren’t close to him after all.
“I’m so stupid, aren’t I?” You shrugged, the wooden table becoming more of an interest.
“You’re not stupid. He’s stupid but I think he likes you.” Your head snapped up and so did your eyebrows.
“You’re insane! Didn’t you hear what I just said?”
“Of course I did!” They defended with a smirk, “and here’s what we’re gonna try.”
///
Your friend’s idea was so stupid and this dress was far too tight for your liking. You felt like your your body was spilling out at the seams, a complete opposite to what you were used to wearing: comfortable clothing or pajamas.
Walking in heels was another problem for you. Any second now, you were sure you were gonna have to call Dr Cho because you had somehow broken your neck. However, after a few laps around your room, you felt confident enough to walk a few blocks in them. Grabbing a purse and a jacket from your closet, you staggered out of your room and into Bucky’s chest.
“Whoa there, you alright?” He asked, pushing you away from him. He eyed you up and down, making you feel naked under his gaze.
“Why wouldn’t I be? And what are you doing here? Outside my door?” You folded your arms across your chest, big mistake as it pushed your cleavage together and with the height difference, Bucky had a pretty good view. He was a gentleman though and kept (or tried) to keep his eyes glued to your face.
“I came to apologize. Where are you going dressed like that?”
“It’s a bit late for an apology. I got your message loud and clear from this morning.” You scoffed. “And I’m going out with my real friends, not that it’s any of your damn business.”
“A party?” He wondered, his jaw clenching at the thought of you dancing with other people that weren’t him.
“Yes, and you’re not invited.” You smirked, turning on your heels and walking towards the waiting elevator, ignoring his calls of your name.
Bucky watched as the metal doors closed, his hands tugged his hair so hard he was afraid he would rip it out. He’s fucked up, Natasha was right. There was no way of fixing this.
“Fuck!” He yelled, kicking a hole in the wall next to your door.
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etherealeeknow · 4 years ago
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the fwb rules
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• rated m for mature
• pairing: fwb!hyunjin x fem!reader
• wc: 4.559
• tw: explicit language, light characterization of an insecure reader, unprotected piv sex (stay safe, lovelies!), fingering & oral (f), nipple play, cream pie— i think that’s all, please do tell me if you find more c:
• note: last time i said long fic isn’t my forte and this time i’ll still say the same hahahahaha. but still, i hope i don’t disappoint 🥺 please kindly note that english isn’t my first language. therefore, i apologize for any mistakes. feedbacks are always appreciated because i’d love to grow! thank you for waiting and enjoy 💞 pretty banner made by my bestie!! ilysm 😽😽😽
• tag list: @charlieshelves @es-kay-zee @formidxble @oh-my-sparkle @bobateastay @http-hyxnjxn @lyralurexrattle @hyunsluvv @healinghyunjin @sailorhyunjinz
what happened to the rules?
it didn’t start off like this. you can’t remember when exactly you started wondering about the five word question. all you know is that you were one bite away from gobbling a spoonful of jisung’s ice cream when it struck you: since when did you and hyunjin stop going by the rules? he’s been occasionally texting you out of the blue lately just to know what you’re up to, and today he even asked you to stay the night at his, and as much as you want to believe they’re all normal, again, it didn’t start off like this. from the beginning, you and hyunjin have come up with three rules so your relationship can work: one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking. but look at you now, lying naked and out of breath under his blanket while facing his ceiling, driving yourself insane over the haunted question. you have to get it off your chest somehow, but how? 
“hey, why so serious?” asks the culprit behind your overthinking, causing you to jump slightly over his sudden appearance and your hands instinctively pull up the blanket to cover your naked chest, which as a result, makes him chuckle. cute. “here. it’s my cousin’s,” adds the topless man as he sits on the edge of the bed and hands you a white shirt that even under the dim light, you can already tell won’t fit you.
“your cousin? the model? hyunjin, she’s tiny,” you utter, hands still gripping onto the blanket. “i’m—“
“you,” he cuts you off, placing a hand on top of yours while carefully glancing at you to make sure you there aren’t any signs of discomfort. “are fine, y/n. now hurry up. i’m sleepy,” he adds before letting go, leaving behind a lingering warmth on your knuckles.
nodding, you turn your back on him to change, and the room falls silent, causing you to hear how fast your heart is thumping even more than it should have. is it because you had too much coffee this morning? or it can probably be because the shirt is too tight that it’s cutting off your air circulation, right? right, of course. you tell yourself because as much as you dislike both reasons, they are still far better than having hyunjin as the cause.
once you’re done, hyunjin already has his back lying against the bedhead, his head tilting slightly to the side, avoiding the light coming from the night lamp on the bedside table, while his eyes bore deeply into yours. unbothered that he’s been caught staring, he averts his gaze downwards till they reach your chest and spot how your nipples are sticking out through the thin fabric.
“see? it fits you just fine,” he says, turning his vision back to your face as he opens his arms and motions them at you, only to have you remain in the same position with your increasing heartbeat.
“aren’t you gonna, uh, wear something?”
instead of a proper answer, all you get is his laugh—hyunjin’s contagious laugh that usually always succeeds in making you laugh too. but today hits differently. has his laugh always sounded this lighthearted before? no matter what the answer is, one thing for sure is that despite how sweet hwang hyunjin and his laugh are, they have never made your cheeks burn like this before, and this is forbidden. it’s against the rules.
“an hour ago we were naked while sucking each other’s face, y/n,” he finally answers after a while. “besides, i always sleep like this. now, come on,” he adds, repeating the same gesture, except this time his hands are open wider, eager to have you near him again because the space around him is starting to make him feel lonely.
complying with him, you fall into his embrace and hyunjin immediately lets his hands travel to the exact places of where they want to be—one around your head and the other around your waist. despite the room turning less cold with his warmth directly passing onto you, your heart and cheeks conditions remain the same especially since you can hear how hyunjin’s heartbeats are beating just as fast as yours when he lets you lay your head on his chest.
“hyunjin,” you call out, hands fiddling with the collar of your shirt.
“y/n,” he replies, replacing the collar with his fingers instead, intertwining them with yours.
what happened to the rules?
“do... do fwb do these?” you ask, the bravery in you finally decide to show up, even just for a little.
“do this?” he asks back while squeezing your hand with all his might, as if he’s nervous.
no. not ‘this’, but ‘these’. not only the hand grabbing, but also the fact that he asked you to stay the night, that he’s cuddling you to sleep, and that you’ve been getting unusual symptoms over them until this very moment.
“yes, this,” you nod and hyunjin becomes muted, but his heartbeats are growing louder, and his grip on you has become tighter.
after what feels like forever, he whispers, voice slightly cracking, and hands getting a little colder, “yes. yes, they do.”
then the two of you become muted, but both heartbeats keep growing louder, and everything stays that way until sleep eventually takes over.
as a homebody, you’ve always against the idea of sleepovers. you believe home is the sweetest place and your own bed is the comfiest even when your mattress is older than a decade and your favorite plushie has had too many holes here and there. but waking up in hyunjin’s bed has broken your stigma—never in your whole life that you’d have thought someone else’s bed can provide you twice the comfort.
“looks like someone had a good sleep,” chirps jisung as he sits beside you, causing you to wipe off the smile on your face before going back to your laptop.
“wow suddenly my best friend’s a psychic?”
“hey, that’d actually make a great drama title!” he exclaims and you roll your eyes. “please do spill the tea though. what happened?” he adds.
“what happened?” you ask back, eyes still on the screen, but the corner of your lips are on the verge of breaking into the smile, knowing full well he’ll complain—which he does by lamely calling you a meanie.
laughing, you tell him nothing happened, but the way he rolls his eyes is a sign he’s not taking any of your bullshit. you are telling the truth though. besides spending the night with each other, nothing really happened, right? it was just another casual fucking session. yes, it was amazing, but that’s no news for jisung. the guy’s practically your wingman—setting you up with hyunjin was his idea because he believes you should, “live your life. have that dreamy college sex orelse you’ll regret it like my old man changbin!”
right on cue, a notification popped out on your big screen, and the sender’s name makes your heart pop too.
“aha, see!” jisung points at it. “y/n, where are you?” he reads out loud, earning yourselves all the eyes from every other student in class.
“oh my god, jisung. shut up!” right when you’re about to log out from the chat app, hyunjin sends another one.
“can i call you?” jisung reads once more and you’re only one second away from smacking his head, but your vibrating phone holds you back.
shooting jisung a glare, you make sure to close your laptop before leaving the class, answering hyunjin’s call even when you’re still half way through the door. right when you’re about to greet him hello, hyunjin beats you to it—his voice a bit raspy, but the softness in his tone still lies within, and it creates endless questions in your mind.
has he just woken up? so is this how he sounds in the morning? why is he calling?
and the list goes on because this isn’t like hyunjin at all. sure, he’s not validating the rules, but he’s breaking his character despite already alarming you to anticipate morning booty calls from him at times. he’s never actually done that though. 
“hi,” you reply, startling yourself with how small your voice came out.
“you left,” says hyunjin and you can hear him sighing from the other line, which somehow causes a slight pang in your heart, wondering if perhaps he is disappointed. “can you come back? wait, actually, let me go to you instead.” he says and you can hear the rustling sounds coming from his side.
“hyunjin, i have class. that’s why i left. i—” should you apologize? but why should you? casual, no strings attached, and no fucks given, remember? “i’m sorry.”
“oh.” hyunjin stops on his track before plopping back down onto the bed, smiling. “i’ll pick you up after class then. when will you finish?”
unconsciously, a smile creeps up your face too, but the realization hits you right after, then followed by the five word question, and you know—you know this is your guts telling you that now’s the time to ask him about it, but your heart hates confrontation. plus, wouldn’t it be rude to reply to someone else’s question with a question? “hyunjin, are you, uh, horny?”
just like yesterday, hyunjin laughs, and with the raspiness in his voice still present, he doesn’t fail to make you laugh along, but at the same time waking the butterflies in your stomach and makes you rethink your decision. mayhaps, you should’ve left him a note or told him that you’ll leave early in the morning; or even, you should’ve ditched classes today and stayed so when he wakes up, you can get him a glass of water, not leaving the boy uncared for like this. but who are you to do so? 
“isn’t it normal for a guy to have a morning wood?” he jokes before quickly adding that he’s not horny. “i just want to see you so let me go get you.”
pressing your lips together, you contemplate on whether you should let him. if you do, won’t you be turning whatever the two of you have right now into something far more complicated? but it’s only until hyunjin adds a desperate “please?” that all of your dilemma disappears, as if you’re being cast into his spell—“okay.”
while heading to the gate, you have the biggest urge to book a massage appointment. dodging jisung’s questions and running away from him after the first period was draining, but having to spend the day running back and forth between two buildings because thinking that volunteering as the lecturers’ teaching assistant was draining on a whole new level. other than feeling like your legs are gonna come off, your mind also feels like it’s gonna blow off—you can’t stop recalling all the things you need to start working on as soon as possible, but stepping into hyunjin’s car turns everything to 180 degrees.
you’d like to think that it’s because of the faint lavender aroma coming from his car freshener along with the heavenly cool air conditioner, but no. you know full well it’s because of the way hyunjin’s smile lit up, his eyes disappear into two small crescent moons, and his blonde hair which is becoming one with the warm orange sky that brings peace to your heart.
“hi,” he breathes out the moment you close the door, and you do the same except for looking at him, which causes hyunjin to furrow his eyebrows while speeding away.
the way home is silent, just the way you like it, but you know full well that it’s not hyunjin’s cup of tea. he doesn’t need to say it, his action is showing it all as he’s been fidgeting non stop, wiping his sweaty palm along his jeans while occasionally licking his plump lips. hyunjin’s a very vocal person. he’s talkative and loud—including in bed. you press your warm cheeks over the realization of your own thoughts, embarrassed. you can’t possibly suspect hyunjin for being horny in the morning when you yourself are being like this in the afternoon. it’s uncalled for.
noticing you from the corner of his eye, hyunjin calls out, asking you if there’s anything wrong, totally catching you off guard. what should you say? lying is not your forte, but being honest clearly isn’t the best option right now, at least, not before you shower and appear presentable in front of him—but wait, since when did that matter so much? a few months ago, you even fucked after you ran a marathon.
“y/n?” calls hyunjin for the second time.
“look, hyunjin, really, it’s okay if you’re horny. you can pull over and i can, uh, relieve you and i can just take the bus home after,” you spit out shamelessly while looking at him straight in the eyes, eager to get far away from hyunjin as fast as possible before you go out of your mind.
just like the night before, hyunjin laughs. and just like the night before, his laugh hits differently and it does nothing other than burning your already burnt cheeks for the worse.
“i swear to god, y/n, i’m not horny. i genuinely want to take you home. nothing more,” explains hyunjin, head straight at the road but eyes repeatedly stealing glances at you. “and nothing less,” he adds, voice barely audible but you caught it.
“o— oh.” is all you manage to respond before the ride quickly turns quiet and hyunjin’s hands begin fidgeting again, all the while you’re trying to decode what he has just said—what does he mean by genuinely wanting to take you home? do fwb do this too? what happened to no fucks given?—and it goes on until hyunjin hits the break in front of your old apartment building.
“we’re here,” says hyunjin, breaking the silence by unlocking the car door.
“we’re here,” you repeat after him, already opening the door and setting a foot out. “uh, thank you.”
“don’t mention it.” hyunjin shoots you his signature smile the moment you lower yourself to meet his eye level from outside the car; this time, you have no choice but to fall under his spell.
“hey, uh, you wanna come in?” you ask, biting your lower lip as a way to punish yourself for being so indecisive. one second you want to run away from him and the next second you want to be near him. come on, get a grip.
as if the punishment isn’t enough, hyunjin declines your offer, all while chuckling with his head thrown back. “for the third time, y/n. i’m not horny. go in and rest up.” 
“if you say so.” you shrug, giving him a small smile before turning around, making sure not to look back, only to fail when you hear the engine driving away.
you can’t quite tell—no, you can’t tell. you don’t get it. there’s an unexplainable empty space in your heart that is caused by hyunjin’s rejection. is it because you’re just not used to see him without having to fuck him? or is it because you’re hurt over the fact that he’s not in the mood to touch you? is it because of last night? is he finally sick of your flaws? things would probably be different if you had retouched your makeup or at least combed your hair before seeing him, would they? either way, you’re fully aware you shouldn’t be torn over your friend with benefits, yet your aching heart says otherwise.
and so when the doorbell rings only a few seconds after you get in and the figure you see through the peephole is no other than the man in question, you spare no time to swing the door open. hyunjin, in return, spares no time to lock his lips with yours right after he utters a brief apology. just like the way hyunjin sneaks his playful hands down your ass, you sneak your tongue in his mouth, and your action makes him smile into the kiss as he leads you back into the room and kicks the door shut with his long legs.
the way to your bedroom is actually pretty short, but with your tongues moving in sync, bodies pressing—glued, even, and eyes continuously closing in pleasure, the short way to your bedroom consists of endless stumbling, tripping, and bumping the door. once inside, you break the kiss and are about to undress yourself when hyunjin beats you to it, settling you down on the bed as he begins taking off your attire one by one ever so effortlessly. and in just a matter of seconds, his lips are back on yours again, floral scented hair falling and brushing against your cheeks, leaving you no time to wonder over the fact that it’s the first time hyunjin has ever undressed you. 
as the kiss continues, you can feel yourself gushing more and more that you start grinding on him mindlessly, needing to feel more than just his bulge poking you. your hands leave his blonde strands to tug on his hoodie, only to have him stop you—one hand around your grip and the other rests on your hip.
“what do you think you’re doing?”
“need you. need to feel you,” you mumble, desperation so visible through your cracked voice. 
“what happened to the girl who was all flustered to sleep with me last night just because i was shirtless?”
autumn nights aren’t supposed to be hot, but hyunjin has proven he has the power to make the impossible happen just with his words and mocking smirk. but the rising heat on your cheeks is nothing compared to the emptiness you feel below, clenching around nothing surely isn’t the best feeling.
“please, jinnie,” you whine, tugging on his hoodie once more, hips moving against his hold.
“fuck.” is all he manages to say before getting off the bed to disrobe himself—hoodie and track pants thrown across the room, now showcasing his toned body and thighs altogether as he hovers over you.
“please take this off too. it looks suffocating,” you say, index finger running faintly through the bulge forming from his tight boxer, making it stand up even more and hyunjin has no choice but to obey you. “put your hair up too please,” you add just when he’s about to dive right back in, and again, your wish is his command.
biting to pull off his hair tie from his wrist, hyunjin smoothly ties his hair back and you’re only given a few seconds to admire his feature before his plump lips coming in contact with your hardened nipple while he toys with the other using his fingers—rubbing and pinching, making your breath hitch over the sensation, fingers digging into his bare shoulders because you don’t want to mess up his hair, and hyunjin’s low grunts pretty much indicate he’s loving it.
“more, please. give me m—”
hyunjin retreats his hand and tongue away from your breast, moving them to your naked pussy,  drawing circles on your outer labia with his middle finger. he teases you just enough and quickly slides in his digit and at the same time sucks on your clit right before you’re about to complain, making you tingle from head to toe.
“you hear that?” he asks, voice muffled, the effect of being too tongue tied from licking every part of your heat, but finger working its magic perfectly, creating loud wet noises from your fluid. “drenched. my pretty y/n is drenched,” says hyunjin, and as much as you want to comment on him for the pet name, you’re too caught up on how his lips vibrate against you the moment he starts palming himself with his unoccupied hand. if he keeps it up, you know you would come undone there and then, and you don’t want that—not yet. so you ask him to stop and he instantly does as told.
“what’s wrong? did i hurt you?” there’s fear written across his expression and heard from his tone, but you’d like to believe your eyes and lips are just playing tricks on you.
“n— no. i just,” you pause to avoid his gazes, but something within you pulls your attention back on him. “i wanna cum with you inside me,” you confess, voice barely audible due to embarrassment; all this time, it’s always been hyunjin to say such things, but perhaps, all the strange tension lately has finally gotten the best of you. you hear him mutter a low “fuck” while his pupils shakes for a brief moment before they somehow appear a shade darker. licking his lower lip, hyunjin pulls you by your legs and rests them on his shoulders, and proceeds to align his tip with your entrance, once again teasing your throbbing core.
the moment you whine is the moment hyunjin pushes himself inside ever so gently, but the stretching still has you throwing your head back, while hyunjin letting our airy moans upon your walls clenching around him. none of you can tell how it’s possible for your vagina to remain so tight after all the countless fucking session for the past half year, but hyunjin doesn’t find that troubling. in fact, he lives for that and it shows from the way his eyes roll to the back of his head as he begins thrusting in and out of you—slowly but steady, veiny hands secured on your hips, vision goes back and forth from your half-lidded eyes to your parted lips.
hyunjin leans down to kiss you for a couple of seconds, and when he lets go, he quickens his pace—leaning down once more so his length can go deeper in you, hitting your g-spot. at that very moment, you mentally praise yourself for placing the bedroom mirror right across the bed. it presents you with the magnificent view of hyunjin’s rounded, firm ass bouncing rhythmically whenever he snaps his hips, and placing your hands around them, squeezing them, nearly makes you drool over the sight. with hyunjin constant thrusts, the familiar knot in your abdomen starts to bubble up.
“oh my god,” the two of you whimper in unison as hyunjin begins to lose his tempo, moves also grow sloppy, but never once misses your spot.
“y/n, i— ah— i’m so close. fuck,” he breathes out, sweat forming on his forehead, wetting his baby hair down to his neck and chest, and you can only drool helplessly at the sight.
“me too. please cum inside me, cum with me, hyunjin, please, please,” you beg, voice a pitch higher, almost sounds like you strain your throat, and it stays the same. when you feel hyunjin twitch inside you, your hands automatically reach for the bed sheet again, but it only lasts for a second before they’re being taken by hyunjin’s own hands—he has never done this. while intertwining your fingers, his cock twitches again and his eyes roll to the back of his head, jaw falls open as he calls out your name—you naturally do the same, fingers pressing flat against his white knuckles
“hyu—”
“cum, baby,” he cuts you off, averting his hazy eyes on you, and that’s all it takes for you to break—your orgasm washes over you like waves and you cum undone around hyunjin, shaking and mewling altogether while feel the wet coldness around your inner thigh. hyunjin follows right after, shooting his hot cement inside of you; the man can no longer keep his eyes open as he buries his face on the crook of your neck, his choked moans bring music right to your ear all a while his hot breaths bring goosebumps to your unrecovered body.
after riding out your highs, none of you move. hyunjin stays on top of you, his chest rises and falls according to your hard breathing. somehow, it’s calming you down, but it shouldn’t.
“hyunjin, you’re heavy.”
“oh, sorry,” he chuckles and even without looking, you can tell his eyes are smiling too. with his remaining strength, hyunjin pushes himself up and rests on your thighs to pull his dick out of you, momentarily admiring the mixture of his juice and yours dripping down your cunt before fixing his eyes on you to study your face—also something he has never done before. 
“i’m sorry,” he mutters a few moments later, eyes now on you.
tilting your head, you sit up, resting your upper body with your hands on the bed. “all of a sudden? i came? you always make me feel good.”
“that’s what i’m sorry about. i— i didn’t mean to— i mean, i—”
you reach out to him, gently patting his thigh. “hyunjin, calm down. this isn’t like you,” you whisper the last sentence, knowing that perhaps, now’s the time to talk things out, to stop whatever is going on, and go back to how things are used to be, maybe? your heart’s just been restless for too long and apparently, hyunjin seems to be in a similar situation too.
“i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to keep using you like this. i genuinely meant what i said. i only wanted to take you home, but we ended up here and—”
“isn’t that what fwb do?” you pull your hand off his thigh, and a frown painted across his face as if he’s questioning your question. “that’s what we agreed on. we have our fwb rules, remember?”
“one, be very casual. two, no strings attached. three, no fucks given outside of the, well, literal fucking,” says hyunjin, proving he has memorized every words to the back of his mind.
nodding, you carefully bring back your hand to his thigh, repeating the same movement you did before. “exactly. so you don’t have to be sorry. don’t worry, i’m not feeling used at all.” you end it with a smile.
hyunjin mirrors you, he smiles too; his eyes fall to where your hand is. “but what if i’m breaking them? the rules,” asks the boy whose cold hand is now on top of your warm one. “what if i like you?” his eyes find their way back to you, and that’s when you know. the difference between your temperatures; the difference between your smile and his—the sadness that lies within.
that’s when you understand. everything finally makes sense; every one of hyunjin’s unusual acts. the constant texts and calls, the undressing, the pet names, the facial expression, the hand holding.
what happened to the rules? feelings. that’s what happened. to hyunjin, it’s his feelings over the rules.
but you, what about you? the butterflies, the irregular increasing heartbeats, the flushing cheeks, the overthinking, the disappointment at some point.
“y/n,” hyunjin calls out and you don’t get to get back to him because he’s already an inch away from you, momentarily eyeing your lips before he closes the distance. once again, his blonde hair falls down, brushing against his cheek before meeting yours and it tickles you, but not in the same way as how his kiss tickles your heart; giddy.
what happened to the rules? unwanted feelings. that’s what happened. to you, it’s the unwanted feelings against the rules. and for now, the unwanted feelings are too strong for you to push him away, so you pull him close instead. for now.
gen’s masterlist
repeating this!! special note: HUGE THANK YOU for my awesome bestie for the banner 🥺💞💞 ily, bish!! thank you for being my beta reader too 😽😽😽
966 notes · View notes
babyboibucky · 4 years ago
Text
Don’t You Worry (Your Pretty Little Head)
Pairing: Guitarist!Bucky x Reader
Summary: You agree to spend twelve hours with Bucky whom you just met.
Word Count: 9.1k
Warnings: THE LENGTH lmfao, soft smut??? Nothing vulgar and it’s sorta implied
A/N: I am honestly nervous about posting this piece because idk, aside from it being fucking long, I was never satisfied with how this was written lmfao. I literally rewrote this like idk 5 times??? And the fact that I made a mood board for a oneshot lmfao only means I poured my heart out into this shit and I’m really hoping y’all would enjoy this as much as my other works 🥺
MAIN MASTERLIST
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Your idea of a fun Friday night involved your couch and Netflix playing in the background as you scrolled through your phone with a glass of wine in hand. This was your definition of pure bliss, something that Wanda violently opposed to.
So here you were, seated in the front of a music bar while Wanda’s favorite band played.
“See? This isn’t so bad, right? Better than wallowing in your apartment alone.” She teased as she leaned over to you, needing to amp up the volume of her voice so you can hear her.
“The fact that we can’t even hear each other properly makes wallowing alone sound so much better.” You told her, not even bothering to repeat yourself when she didn’t understand what you said over the loud music playing.
Her favorite band introduced their last song for the night and as they did, you checked your phone for the time. It was barely past ten in the evening and you were already dying to get home. You’ll bid goodbye after this, you promised yourself. Just one last song and you’re out. Before the band could even finish their last song, you’d already decided on what pizza to order and which wine to bring out.
That was until the next band came up on stage to prepare for their performance. You were leaning over Wanda already, about to tell her that you were heading home, when one particular guy caught your eye. Something that Wanda noticed when she saw you gawking at the stage.
“Oh my god. He’s definitely your type.” Wanda said when her eyes landed on the bassist.
He had dirty blonde hair and a clean-shaven face that looked a little too innocent for someone to be in a rock band. Your exact type— one with the boy next door appeal, someone you’d want to bring home to introduce to your parents. Wanda was so sure you were crushing on the bassist but as soon as he followed your line of sight, she almost choked on her own spit.
You weren’t eyeing the bassist, instead, you were completely focused on the lead guitarist. You were so enamored by this guy that you failed to notice Wanda gushing over the fact that you were enamored by someone who was the complete opposite of your type.
It was the lead guitarist who caught your attention. The one with long hair tied into a low, messy man bun, his stray locks framing his perfectly chiseled face. It wasn’t only the hair that made you look at him, it was also his left arm— it was covered entirely with tattoos. And then he started playing the guitar and good god, his fingers were something else.
It was rare for you to have certain thoughts, the kind that would make you sweat in church. And thank fuck for Wanda finally snapping you out of your filthy trance because if she hadn’t, you would’ve seriously drowned in your not so pure thoughts.
“I can’t believe you’re attracted to that guy. This makes me so excited, honestly.” Wanda squealed.
“Huh?” You played dumb of course. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Wanda snorted out loud, “I just witnessed you drool over the guitarist for a good five minutes. Stop denying.” She said.
You rolled your eyes, “Maybe I did. And so what? It’s not like I’m gonna act on it.”
“You have to fuck him.” Wanda casually suggested, making you choke on your drink.
You weren’t a prude but you didn’t like the idea of hooking up with people, most especially strangers. You weren’t going to lie though, it did cross your mind. Obviously, the way his fingers moved on his guitar really threw your brain down the gutter. Sure, you might have wondered what it’d be like to have those fingers on you but again, would you act on it? Hell no.
“It’s just one night. Live a little, come on. And you getting attracted to someone like him? That’s once in a blue moon, all the more you need to bring him home.” Wanda said.
“One night stands don’t really work well for me and you know that. The first time I tried that was also the last time because I ended up getting attached. And how did that end? Terrible. So no, thank you. Never again.” You told Wanda.
Fortunately, Wanda stopped bugging you about fucking the guitarist. It wasn’t really a big deal, it was nothing but a moment of admiration. You were hell-bent on going home anyway, well, maybe after his band finishes their first song. Besides, he wouldn’t notice you so why bother staying?
“Oh my god, he’s looking at you!” Wanda almost screamed, slapping at your arm until you turned to the stage.
And holy fuck. He was really looking at you. Why though? You even looked behind you to make sure it was you he was staring at and when you turned back at him, he smirked and threw a wink at your way.
“You know what, I think I’m gonna head home.” You said, not knowing how to act.
Wanda pulled you back down when you stood up, “Oh no, honey. No one’s going home this early.” She said. “You wouldn’t want to disappoint him, would you?” She quickly added, tipping her head towards the stage.
When you looked up at the guitarist, he was still looking at you as he played. This time, he was actually pouting, as if pleading for you to stay. You quickly avoided his gaze and although it was dimly lit in the bar, you still bowed your head to hide the blush creeping up to your face.
You managed to survive the entire setlist of the band despite the flirty smiles and winks that the guitarist gave you. Wanda was ecstatic about it, it made you wonder if she was actually the one crushing on the guy. As soon as the last song was done, you excused yourself and hurried into the bathroom to compose yourself.
It was the first time that you experienced such attraction towards a guy like him. You always went with the good boys, so why were you so drawn to this guy who looked nothing but trouble? You were in denial, this was totally out of your comfort zone so you shook the thoughts away and promised yourself (again) that you’d head home this time. For real.
“There you are.”
You gasped out loud when you stepped out of the bathroom, quickly colliding against a solid chest when you heard his voice. It was low yet gentle, soft-spoken but sinful.
“I’m sorry?” You sputtered out, bowing down your head to avoid the lead guitarist’s gaze.
“I thought you left already.” He said. “I’m Bucky, by the way.” He introduced, extending his left arm for a handshake.
Your eyes landed on his tattooed arm, despite the ink covering it all up you could actually see his veins.
“And I’m going home.” You quickly shook Bucky’s hand, ignoring the electricity that ran through your veins and brushed past him, eyes scanning the bar for Wanda.
Bucky jogged ahead of you, blocking your way and chuckling to himself. “Don’t I at least get a name?” He asked.
You were internally screaming, but you managed to mention your name just so he would leave you alone. Sure, he was hot and he was actually flirting with you. But your fear of the unknown outweighed your attraction. You weren’t ready to step out of your comfort zone. Yet.
Bucky trailed behind you as you looked for Wanda, cursing to yourself when you couldn’t spot her anywhere. You took out your phone and called her immediately.
“Wanda? Where are you?” You hiss into the phone.
Bucky watched you with amusement and it was making you uncomfortable. He was just staring at you with a grin on his handsome face. And now, you just discovered that Wanda left you.
“What?! But why?! You’re my ride home! Come back and pick me up!” You exclaim into the phone, unable to believe that Wanda just ditched you.
“You can’t— hello? Wanda? Hello?” You groaned in frustration when your friend ended the call.
“I’d love to offer you a ride home but it’s too early, so how ‘bout I just buy you a drink?” Bucky asked, flashing you a charming smile that made your knees weak.
Part of you wanted to give in and just say, fuck it, let Bucky do whatever he wants with you. The reasonable part of your brain though, highly opposed to this and pulled on the alarms. This guy probably just wants to get you into his bed and although it doesn’t sound that bad, you worried more for what could happen afterwards. You weren’t ready for a repeat of the past. You were too emotional, you had too many strings and they get attached way too quickly.
“No, thank you.” You told Bucky and headed outside the bar, deciding to book an Uber instead.
Bucky was persevering though and followed you out, blocking your way into the sidewalk and snatching your phone away.
“Hey, give me my phone back!” You exclaimed.
“The night is young, c’mon. Why are you so aloof anyway?” Bucky asked.
“Because I don’t know you?” You responded.
Bucky chuckled, “Have you ever heard about making friends? I mean, pretty much everyone you meet starts off as a stranger. And it’s not like I’m a serial killer or anything. I’m not gonna rob you but I most certainly won’t give you your phone back until I convince you to stay a while.” He said and god, he was too charming for your own good.
He made a good point about making friends. You couldn’t even remember the last time you made a new one. Bucky could see the gears in your head working as you stared at him, cheeks flushed and lips parted in deep thought.
“So, what do you say? Stay a while? Keep me company. It’ll be fun.” Bucky insisted.
“Why me?” You blurted out.
It wasn’t that you were insecure, but you were way too different from Bucky. You didn’t seem like his type, but then again, he wasn’t your type either. Until the moment you saw him on stage.
“Why not?” Bucky responded as if he couldn’t believe you just asked him that question.
“Do you ask that every time someone flirts with you? Besides, it’s not everyday that someone like you stared at me like that.” He teased.
Fuck, so he noticed you drooling over him. Quick! Think of a way out, you told yourself.
“Someone like me? What did you mean by that?” You asked, sounding offended.
Bucky’s eyes widened and shook his head, “I didn’t mean for it to sound like it’s a bad thing. I mean, you come in here wearing a chiffon blouse and a pencil skirt and expect me not to notice? I’m actually flattered that a girl, no...a woman...was ogling me. Definitely piqued my interest.” He explained.
That was a compliment, right? The sirens in your head grew louder at the way Bucky was easily throwing you compliments. He must be used to flirting his way into women’s panties, huh? 
“I wasn’t ogling you.” You defended even though you were, looking away from his eyes.
“Sure, you weren’t.” Bucky teased. “Loosen up, will ya? When was the last time you had fun anyway?” He asked.
“Depends on your definition of fun.” You retorted.
“You know what I mean.” Bucky sighed.
“Well, my idea of fun doesn’t involve a guitarist getting me into his bed for a one night stand.” You blurted out, mindlessly.
Bucky made a face and clutched his chest, “Ouch. You went hard on that judgment, I’m not gonna lie, that kinda stings.”
Okay, now you felt bad for jumping to conclusions. Bucky did look like he was hurt from your brash statement. Fuck, he probably thought you were one of those stereotypical bitches! It wasn’t entirely your fault, right? You were just being careful. Were you? Or was it purely overthinking? Your brain was moving all too fast but Bucky quickly distracted you when he took your hand and placed your phone back onto your palm.
“You know, I think I get it why you said that and I honestly can’t blame you. A band dude flirts with you just like that, understandable why you thought that I wanted to get into your pants.” He explained much to your relief.
“I’m sorry, it was tasteless for me to judge you like that.” You quickly apologized, genuinely feeling like a terrible person.
Bucky smiled at you, “Nah, you had every right. I’m sorry if I was too forward but I do really want to spend some time to get to know you. So how about a little proposal?”
There was a glint in Bucky’s eyes that made your heart flutter and your brain go into overdrive. You knew it was a bad idea to give in to Bucky. Someone as charming as him might really be up to no good. Sure, you felt bad for judging him based on his looks. But something in your gut tells you that he was trouble.
“What proposal?” You asked curiously.
“Spend the next twelve hours with me.” Bucky suggested.
You frowned, “What?”
Bucky took your phone again, but only to check the time. “It’s a little past eleven now, I promise you’ll be home before noon tomorrow. Come with me, let loose for once and let’s spend the entire night together. Twelve hours, that’s it.” He said excitedly.
“And I don’t mean have sex with me.” Bucky explained immediately.  “We’ll just hang out, it’s a wholesome proposal. But if you do want to have sex with me, I’m not gonna turn that down. I’m just saying, it’s not my motive but I won’t be saying no to it either.” He reassured.
You felt hot all of a sudden at how Bucky casually talked about having sex with you. It made you feel feverish and for someone who wasn’t really a sexual person, it made you feel like you were about to commit a major sin just by listening to Bucky talk like that.
Bucky beamed at you cutely, waiting for your response and honestly, with how his doe eyes were looking at you like that, was it even possible to say no? Despite the continuous alarms in your head and your inner prude begging you to stay within the confines of your comfort zone, you decided to do something for a change.
So you said yes.
You were spending the next twelve hours with Bucky and you could only hope that you wouldn’t regret it.
-
The night started off slow, thankfully, with Bucky ushering you back into the bar for a couple of drinks. You had to remind yourself to still be alert for any red flags that might show up sooner or later. You knew you were being a bit paranoid, but to hell, it would be better that way than to make mistakes tonight.
“Where do you work?” Bucky asked before calling the waiter.
“I work at a bank.” You told him.
The waiter arrived and took your orders, a tall glass of mojito for you and a rum and coke for Bucky. He asked you a couple more things, where you graduated, your hobbies and what you often did during your weekends. All of which you had pretty boring responses to. Bucky listened though and he didn’t seem bored too, what a relief.
“Are you really sure about spending twelve hours just like this?” You asked, taking another sip from your second glass of mojito.
Bucky snickered, “We won’t be talking the entire night, did you really think I’d ask for your twelve hours just to talk?” He asked.
“What are you planning then?” You asked nervously.
Bucky offered you an amused smile, “Nothing illegal so stop worrying, pretty lady. I can see the gears in your head turning.” He said and leaned forward to smoothen out the crease in between your brows with his thumb.
“Come on, time to have fun.” He said and got up, offering you his hand.
You haven’t even recovered from how gentle Bucky was when he touched your forehead. And now here he was, standing over you with his tattooed arm extended, waiting for you to take his hand.
“I don’t bite.” He stated.
Letting out a sigh, you finished up your drink and stood up, slipping your hand into Bucky’s. He smiled at you, lifting your hand up to his face and pressing a kiss on it before winking.
“See? I told you, I don’t bite.”
You cleared your throat and pursed your lips, biting back a smile as Bucky tugged you as he walked out of the bar, keeping your hand in his the entire time. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all?
“Here.” Bucky said, handing you over his helmet.
It was then that you realized that he was about to give you a ride. On his motorcycle. The sirens in your head went off once again, bringing you back to your usual tensed state.
“Oh, no. Look, I know I said yes to your proposal but I’m not going to ride on that.” You disagreed and took a step back.
Bucky looked disappointed but shrugged anyway, placing the helmet back on the bike. “Fine. I’ll let you off this time, just because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Come with me.” He said and took your hand in his again as the both of you went back inside the bar.
He brought you towards the booth where the rest of his band were staying at. They all looked at you with smirks on their faces when Bucky introduced you to them.
“That’s Nat, our vocalist. Sam here is our drummer and Steve the bassist.” He said.
You gave them a polite smile and a quick wave. Bucky threw his keys over at Steve, who was supposed to be your type. Wanda thought so and you were just weirded out that you happen to be drawn towards Bucky instead.
“Hey punk, switch your car for my bike? Just for tonight.” Bucky said.
Steve looked so done with his request but shook his head in defeat as he fished his keys out of his pocket. He pointed at Bucky threateningly, “Don’t mess up my car, jerk. You know what I mean by that.” He said before throwing his own keys over at Bucky who caught it with ease.
“I wouldn’t worry about that if I were you. Thanks, pal!” Bucky bid goodbyes and pulled you again before you could even say your own goodbyes to his bandmates.
Now, you were inside Steve’s car with Bucky and you were nervous as fuck. Although you did find it considerate of Bucky to borrow his friend’s car to make things comfortable for you. You were going to admit that, but it made your heart flutter. You mentally snorted at yourself because fuck, the bar is set pretty low alright.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bucky asked, noticing how you tensed up all of a sudden.
“Do we have rules?” You asked.
“This night is all about letting loose and the first thing you thought of are rules?” Bucky laughed.
“I’m about to spend the next twelve hours with a complete stranger, of course I’d be worried! What if—“
“Okay, calm down!” Bucky said, turning in his seat to face you, placing his hands on your shoulders.
“If it’ll make you less tense then fine, I’ll come up with rules. Number one is to stop worrying.” Bucky said, rubbing your arms up and down and you were supposed to feel uncomfortable with the intimacy but you didn’t.
There was no malice to it and it made you panic all the more because ugh, Bucky was making you all soft and vulnerable around him. You could hear Wanda inside your head, commanding you to just calm down and go with the flow. You took in a deep breath and composed yourself.
“You gotta learn to trust people. I promise you, we won’t be getting in any trouble. I’ll take good care of you.” Bucky said, letting your arms go and tipping your chin so you’d look at him.
“Rule two, no what ifs. Just focus on the present, okay? If you keep worrying about what could happen, you’ll miss out on the now. Trust me, you wouldn’t want that.” Something about the change in Bucky’s eyes when he said that made you curious.
He was on to something, like he really meant it. You wanted to ask him about it, hell, you should start asking him for more information. If he wanted to get to know you better then you should attempt to do the same to him too.
“Last rule is to just enjoy. Like I said, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. You trust me now?” Bucky asked with hopeful eyes.
The alarms in your head still kept going, but as you gazed back at Bucky, the softer they were becoming. You could feel yourself start to give in and you know what? It actually doesn’t sound so bad anymore. Maybe this would help with your attachment issues? This will probably teach you how to have fun with no attachments. Take things for what they are and just enjoy.
“Hey, will you trust me?” Bucky asked again.
“Yeah, yeah I will.”
-
1:15AM
Bucky took you to a hole in the wall open mic bar. It was a small place and everyone there seemed to know each other. And when Bucky arrived, everyone just greeted him and welcomed you there.
“You seem pretty popular here.” You told him as he led you to one of the seats near the makeshift stage.
“I spend a lot of time here.” He said and called over the guy by the bar.
“Hey Happy! Wanna introduce you to a special friend.” He said. The man approached your table and greeted you with a smile.
“Must be really special, you never bring anyone here.” Happy said, making you blush uncontrollably.
Bucky bit his lip as he turned to you, “Do you sing?” He asked.
You quickly shook your head, “Oh god, no. I don’t have the talent.” You said.
Happy chuckled, “That wouldn’t be a problem, trust me.” He reassured.
Bucky lifted an eyebrow at you, “Wanna go up there and sing with me?”
“Bucky, no.” You laughed, shaking your head. “I’m not doing that.”
“Come on, no one’s gonna judge you. Let loose, remember? And if anyone here laughs at you, I’ll be the first to punch them in the face.” He promised.
You thought for a while, keeping your eyes on Bucky. Fuck this. You called Happy and requested for a shot of tequila.
“That’s my girl! Just needs a little bit of liquid courage, huh?”
You snorted, “Oh that’s not for me. That’s for you. You’re gonna need it if you’ll be hearing me sing.”
You never performed in front of a crowd, well, back in high school maybe for some school plays. But hell, you were never the center of attention and whenever you had to be, you always experienced a panic attack. But now being on stage with Bucky behind you, playing the guitar as you sang (screeched actually), you’d never felt more alive and relaxed. True enough, no one cared about how off tune you were. In fact, you got a lot of cheers from the crowd.
2:45AM
“You hungry?” Bucky asked.
You couldn’t believe it, you’ve been singing on stage the entire time at the bar. You’d like to believe that it was probably the alcohol running in your veins, but you weren’t that drunk. Tipsy, maybe but definitely not drunk. It was fun, you were surprised at how much you enjoyed singing with Bucky and everybody else. You made a couple of new friends aside from Happy, talked to them and even exchanged numbers with a few. This was the most sociable you’ve ever been.
“I could use some carbs right now.” You laughed, wiping off the sweat on your forehead.
Bucky reached out to fix your hair, moving away the sweaty strands sticking onto your cheeks and tucking them behind your ear. He flashed you that oh so charming smile again and good god, Bucky was truly something else.
“Let’s get you something to eat.” He said.
Bucky drove to a 24-hour food truck somewhere. It was close to 3am but you didn’t feel exhausted, which was shocking given that you’ve been dying to go home a few hours ago before meeting Bucky and agreeing to go on an escapade with him. You could already hear Wanda squealing over the phone once you tell her everything.
The both of you ordered some soft tacos and sat on one of the benches beside the food truck.
“Enjoying so far?” Bucky asked with interest.
You nodded enthusiastically, your mouth full of food as you devoured your tacos. “Very much.” You admitted.
Bucky’s eyes crinkled as he laughed along with you, obviously pleased that you were enjoying yourself. Not long ago, twelve hours seemed a bit too long. Now, they felt too short. You could feel your brain begin to overthink what would happen once the the twelve hours are over, but you quickly shook them away and followed Bucky’s advice to focus on the present.
The two of you continued to talk as you ate. You discovered that Bucky and his bandmates go way back and that they’ve been performing since their days at the university. You also found out that Bucky’s last relationship ended six years ago and that he hasn’t dated anyone since then. You found out a lot of things about Bucky, most of which were far from your first impressions.
“Why’d your friend leave you at the bar?” Bucky asked, taking out a cigarette and putting it in his mouth.
You watched him with hazy eyes as he lighted the cigarette, puffing out a thin line of smoke with ease. You were always drawn to Bucky’s fingers and initially, it was because of the impure thoughts they made you think about. But more than that, they were the gentlest you’d ever seen.
“Probably to get me to have fun.” You responded, looking away timidly when Bucky noticed you staring at his hands.
“She’s gonna be very proud of you after this.” He said.
You nodded and breathed out a chuckle, “Oh, for sure.” You said before turning to Bucky. “Can I try?” You asked, motioning towards his cigarette.
“I haven’t smoked. Ever.” You admitted.
Bucky grinned and passed you the cigarette. “Go on.” He urged and kept his eyes on you as you brought the cigarette up to your lips.
The way Bucky watched you was intimidating in the sense that it felt intimate. It wasn’t like he was eye-fucking you or anything, his eyes were just too...expressive? They held a certain softness to them, a bit of sadness too when you look at it closely. They were the bluest, most beautiful color you’ve seen and they were captivating.
You ended up in a coughing fit from that first drag. Bucky chuckled and took the cigarette from your hand, patting your back as you continued to cough.
“Definitely not for me.” You frowned and took a sip from your iced tea.
“At least you tried. I’m proud of you.” Bucky said, the gentle pats on your back slowing down until his hand remained still.
“You good?” He asked again, sliding his hand lower until he reached the small of your back, but not low enough to make you uncomfortable.
You nodded, “What else is up in your sleeve?” You asked with interest.
“Well, I really wanted to take you on a ride on my bike but I guess that’s for next time.” Bucky confessed.
“Next time?” You asked and you tried not to be hopeful.
“Yeah, next time. We’ll do that next time.” Bucky said and he sounded so sure that you began to worry.
Will there really be a next time? At this point, Bucky could read you like an open book because he chuckled and pressed his thumb against the crease on your forehead again.
“You’re doing it again, whatever you’re worrying about just forget it for now.” He said, soothing out your crease before pinching your nose.
You scrunched your nose making Bucky lightly laugh. He checked the time on his phone and let out a sigh.
3:43AM
“Can I bring you back to my place?”
-
If you told Wanda that you ended up in Bucky’s place, she would freak out and ask for all the details. But no, you didn’t come home with Bucky for that reason. As he promised, it wasn’t his motive to get you into his bed and he seemed to be genuine about it.
Bucky lived in a small studio-type loft. It wasn’t the penthouse kind with the floor to ceiling windows overlooking the city. It was simple and minimalistic, with just a few pieces of furniture. What Bucky owned were a couple of guitars— different kinds of them, and an electric keyboard.
“It’s not much and I don’t even have a bed frame, I hope you won’t judge me for that.” Bucky said, scratching his neck as he led you inside.
“No, not at all. It’s very cozy in here, actually.” You said, looking around and taking in your surroundings.
Bucky had a lot of indoor plants, you definitely didn’t think of him as a plant guy. As you let your eyes wander, something white zoomed past your vision. A cat.
Bucky also owned a cat.
“This is Alpine.” Bucky said, picking up the feline and carrying it onto his shoulder.
As if Bucky and his plants didn’t make him attractive enough, he really had to own a white cat. You could feel yourself internally screaming about how you haven’t been seeing any red flags. If any, you’ve been seeing green flags pop out every now and then that it was pretty alarming. Strangely, the sirens in your head died down as if they’ve given up on warning you.
Or maybe, there was really nothing to warn about Bucky.
The cat purred and nuzzled its nose into Bucky’s neck and you couldn’t believe that you got jealous for a brief second. Oh, to be cat against Bucky’s chest.
“Feel free to look around, I’ll get you water.” He said, bringing Alpine with him into the kitchen.
You walked around his place and observed the surroundings. He was very organized, more than you actually. You could hear Bucky talk to Alpine and it was the most adorable thing you’d ever seen.
A couple of picture frames that sat on Bucky’s bedside table caught your eye. They were photos of him with his mom you assumed, and three more girls.
“Those are my mom and younger sisters.” Bucky said, appearing behind you with a glass of water.
You thanked him as you took the glass and sat down on his bed, “Where are they?” You asked before drinking.
Alpine jumped into your lap and purred, making Bucky laugh with delight as he sat next to you. His parents were back in his hometown together with his sisters. Bucky told you everything about his family and how close he was to his sisters, how they were supportive of him when he decided to become a musician. Then Bucky went on to showcase his guitar collection, telling you the lovely stories behind each of them. You could see how passionate Bucky was for his craft and it was a wonderful thing to witness. You were envious how Bucky pursued his passion, how he took huge risks to get to where he was now.
“And this is my favorite one.” Bucky said, taking a black electric guitar with him as he went back to sit down next to you.
“First one I bought with my own money. It’s old and doesn’t sound as nice as my newer ones, but I love it.” He said and started plucking at the strings.
Alpine hopped off from your lap and went to sleep onto his tiny little bed beside Bucky’s couch. You focused on Bucky’s fingers as he played the guitar. It took you back to the moment you saw him onstage, how those fingers made you wonder about certain things. They moved gracefully against the cords, plucking with ease producing the most wonderful music. You really needed to snap out of your filthy thoughts.
Bucky played the guitar for you, singing some lyrics once in a while. You noticed his tattoos again and stared a bit longer, trying to decipher each design wrapped around his arm. Some were huge, some intricate more than the rest. They were all of different designs but molded together so perfectly.
You had to admit, you didn’t find tattoos attractive before. But on Bucky, it looked like a masterpiece. He himself, was a piece of art with his chiseled jawline and steel blue eyes that made you feel at home.
“I’ve been meaning to ask...” you softly trailed.
Bucky hummed in response, his attention focused on his guitar as he continued to play.
“Your tattoos, do they mean something?” You asked.
“I got them to cover up the scars from an accident.” Bucky looked up at you.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” You quickly apologized.
Bucky smiled reassuringly, “It’s fine. It was a turning point for me.” He said, setting his guitar aside.
“It really puts things into perspective you know. I crashed my bike one night, I wasn’t drunk, mind you.” He chuckled. “It was pretty bad, my left arm suffered the most. I almost got decapitated but here I am. I got scars all over, really ugly scars so I had them covered up with a tattoo sleeve.” Bucky explained, extending his left arm and looking at it.
“For a while, I wasn’t able to play music. And I hated every second of it. Hated seeing the scars on my arm and how they reminded me of the accident. But you learn to live with it. At least I did, I learned to turn the negative into something positive.”
Now that he said that, you could actually see some of the scars beneath the ink. Bucky shrugged and continued with his story.
“The doctors said I was lucky that I didn’t die. Living my second life now, I realized that I gotta make the most out of it. Focus on the present and enjoy what comes your way. Take risks. Do what scares you.” He explained and now you understood.
You understood why Bucky appeared to be so laid-back and carefree, why he doesn’t worry a lot about the future. He almost lost his life so now he was living it to the fullest. He was living in the present, enjoying every second of it.
“Every time I see my tattoos, I get reminded of my second chance at life and how I shouldn’t waste it.” He said.
Bucky saw the look in your face, how guilty you looked from judging him right away. He took your chin in between his thumb and index finger, tipping it up to make you look at him.
“So when I noticed that bored pretty office girl in the audience checking me out, I didn’t waste the opportunity to get to know her. See where it goes, who knows if I’d still be alive tomorrow but at least I shoot my shot.” He said, making you chuckle.
Everything went still in that moment, your usually noisy mind included. Time seemed to have stopped as you gazed into Bucky’s eyes. Biting your lip, you gave in and totally let down your walls.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Bucky asked, doing the same thing with his thumb, soothing the crease in between your brows.
This time, he didn’t take his hand back and allowed it to rest against your cheek before sliding down to your jaw and neck. His thumb began to caress the spot beneath your ear, waiting for you to respond to his question.
What Bucky got was more than just a simple response.
“Fuck it.” You whispered before pressing your lips onto Bucky’s.
All your life you played it safe— from your college course to your choice of career. You weren’t one to take risks either and whenever you needed to, they were always calculated. You did things carefully, making sure that you’d get the results you were expecting to save you from disappointment. The unknown scared you and so does uncertainty. You liked staying in your comfort zone but as much as you’ve been denying it, it was starting to get boring.
You also said you weren’t one to entertain a stranger, let alone hook-up with one. But then Bucky comes along with his long hair and tattooed arm, looking like trouble but bringing you none. You’d think that he just wanted to get into your pants but as he showered you with gentle kisses and feathery touches, you realized that Bucky might be different and that he was so much more than just the hot lead guitarist of a band.
Bucky’s calloused fingers perfectly contrasted the smooth expanse of your skin. They felt rough but remained gentle as they moved along your chest, as they danced along your back, as they stroked your inner walls. And his lips, they were tender and soft; they whispered nothing but promises and praises against your ear as your bodies moved in unison.
His eyes remained on you, taking all of your nakedness in, literally and figuratively. He watched you closely, with those blue eyes of his that always made you blush. Bucky’s eyes were truly mesmerizing, no matter how much you wanted to look away from embarrassment, you couldn’t. You felt trapped in those eyes, and you never want to leave.
And his left arm— you could feel the ridges of his scars as you let your hands feel his skin. But they weren’t ugly, didn’t feel weird against the pads of your fingers. His arm offered nothing but warmth and support when you reached your high and came crashing down. His arms caught you and protected you, his embrace was reassuring and it made you feel safe.
5:58AM
The city was quiet and the sun was barely up. Alpine was still curled up on his bed, sleeping. You were exhausted but satisfied and comfortable as you laid on your stomach, head turned and facing Bucky as you listened to him talk.
He was talking about his band’s first performance in college, laughing when he said that he almost threw up from being so nervous. Bucky had the softest voice in the wee hours of dawn, you loved listening to him. Lucky you, Bucky had been talking about anything and everything until the dark skies began to change its hues. He shared his dreams and his secrets and you admired him more and more.
“You should come to our rehearsals.” He suggested, letting a hand trace patterns on your bare back.
“Sounds nice.” You yawned, blinking your eyes in an attempt to keep them open.
“What do you want for brunch?” Bucky asked, almost mumbling from being half-asleep.
You hummed, “By the time we wake up, it might be close to dinner.” You joked.
“Breakfast food is way better during dinner. Want me to cook for you?” Bucky said before yawning.
Your eyes were lidded as you took in Bucky’s form. He was laying beside you, long hair messed up and lips swollen pink from kissing. He looked unreal as a sliver of sunlight managed to peek through his curtains, embracing his body with its warm glow. The sun was now fully up, witnessing the tender aftermath of your intimacy with Bucky as he reached out to brush his knuckle along your cheekbone.
“I’m surprised you can cook.” You said softly, close to falling asleep.
“I’m pretty good at it.” Bucky chuckled before leaning in to kiss your forehead.
“I’ll cook for you when we wake up.” 
Bucky’s soft lips against yours was the last thing you felt before sleep took over.
-
12:24PM
A soft purr paired with soft paws on his face stirred Bucky awake. He groaned at Alpine when she meowed right into his face. Must be feeding time, he thought.
Bucky gently moved Alpine aside and turned, only to be met by a cold, empty space beside him. He sat up on the bed and rubbed his eyes before quickly scanning his apartment for you.
You were gone.
And judging by the cold sheets on your side of the bed, you’d left hours ago. Bucky sighed in disappointment as he got up, putting on his boxers and quickly checking the bathroom. He hoped you’d be there, but you weren’t.
You didn’t even leave a note.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He wanted to cook for you, really. He wanted to bring you to his band’s rehearsals, maybe even write a song for you.
He wanted more than twelve hours with you.
-
Wanda had been on your ass for days now. When you told her about your twelve hours with Bucky, she was happy and proud. By the time you got to the end of it, she was fuming and was close to actually physically hurting you.
She wouldn’t stop bugging you about it, demanding you to at least look Bucky up on Facebook or Instagram. Wanda believed that what you and Bucky shared that night was special, something real and not just a one-time thing.
You woke up that morning, feeling sore but happy. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach when you opened your eyes to the sight of Bucky sleeping peacefully beside you. He seemed to be dreaming, his brows creased and lips pursed.
Reaching out, you did what Bucky kept on doing to you whenever you were worrying. You pressed your thumb against his forehead, soothing out the crease as gentle as you could so as not to wake him up. Bucky stirred in his sleep and unconsciously took your hand in his, pressing a kiss onto your palm before falling back into his slumber.
And that’s when it started; the alarms in your head went off and they were the loudest they’ve ever been. You were almost deafened by it, your logic drowning beneath your panicked thoughts as you got up from bed. You dressed up in a hurry, grabbing your things and phone to book yourself a ride home. Alpine woke up and ran over to your legs, purring as if begging you not to go.
You refused to look back and went straight for the door.
One and a half week later, here you were still feeling like the most terrible person on the entire planet. You had searched for Bucky online, of course. You just didn’t tell Wanda that but it was the first thing that you did upon going home. There were instances when you were tempted to send him a DM, or add him up on Facebook but you never did. 
That one night with Bucky changed everything, it changed you. You immediately filed for a resignation, realizing that you were no longer happy working for the bank. It was a spur of the moment decision but you knew it was the right one. You didn’t even know where to apply next or what career to pursue. But you weren’t worried like you had expected to be.
Bucky taught you to take risks, to not fear the unknown because things will eventually fall into place. You felt good though, that you were slowly learning to step out of your comfort zone. But something was amiss and you knew what it was. Or who it was.
You just weren’t ready to admit it yet.
-
It was around nine in the evening when you went to the grocery store for a last minute shopping decision. Wanda was coming over for a movie night and apparently, you didn’t have any snacks left.
Finishing your list, you turned at the corner of an aisle and collided with somebody. Your apology died on your tongue when you looked up to see a familiar face.
Steve.
“Hi.” You softly greeted, wondering if he would even remember you.
He frowned at you and you were surprised that he remembered you and actually knew about that night.
“Why’d you leave Bucky just like that?” He asked right away.
You swallowed and avoided his gaze, “It was...it’s not a big deal. It was a one-time thing anyway.” You lied through your teeth.
Steve scoffed, “It didn’t seem like a one-time thing when Bucky came to our rehearsals the next day feeling bummed out.” He explained and sighed afterwards, shaking his head.
“Look, I’m in no position to interfere. I don’t know you and why you did that so who am I to judge? But I know Bucky. He isn’t what you think he is.” Steve said.
“I know.” You whispered.
“Then why’d you leave?” Steve asked again but didn’t wait for a response.
“Bucky may come off a little too strong, he’s straightforward and passionate. He gives it his all and that night with you...he gave everything. He was really hurt when you left.”
You were unable to speak because fuck, you messed up big time. You didn’t know that Bucky was going to feel that way when you left. You got scared and ran away even when there was nothing to be afraid of. Steve must have noticed your guilt and placed a hand on your shoulder.
“We’re playing tonight at the music bar. You have the chance to make things right.” Steve said and offered you a small smile before leaving.
You stood in the grocery store while in deep thoughts. Again, your mind was all kinds of messed up and your thoughts were fighting for dominance. There were sirens going on and off and fuck, it was all driving you insane. Your heart began to race when you felt an impending sense of doom wash over you. You were panicking and you were fighting so hard to calm your nerves.
And then you remembered Bucky that night and how he was quick to silence your brain with a simple yet comforting gesture.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
A thumb on your forehead to soothe your worries. Those steel blue eyes providing you comfort, and that charming smile that never failed to reassure you.
You quickly called Wanda.
“Movie night is cancelled!”
-
The dimly lit music bar welcomed you with a sense of familiarity. It had been more than a week since your encounter with Bucky and yet it felt like it was only yesterday.
Smiling to yourself, you remembered how tensed you were when Bucky first approached you. You were so defensive, you had your walls built up high but Bucky managed to bring them down. It didn’t even take him the full twelve hours to do so.
The music bar was full with no vacant spot near the stage. The current band just finished their song and was preparing to exit. You squeezed your way to the front, ignoring the complaints of people you slightly pushed away. A familiar voice greeted the crowd a good evening before introducing their band.
Your breath hitched when you spotted Bucky onstage. His hair was down and he was sporting a little bit of scruff. You watched him play his guitar but something was different. He wasn’t as passionate as he used to be, like he wasn’t focused. He almost looked like he didn’t want to be there. And his eyes, they were empty and void of any emotion. No mischievous glint in them, no nothing.
It broke your heart seeing Bucky like this, especially that you knew you were the reason for it.
It took a while for Bucky to look up and scan the crowd and when he finally did, his eyes immediately met yours.
Just like the first time, you felt your face heat up from the eye contact. Bucky was surprised to see you, you saw how his eyes widened at the sight of you. He was quick to recover though, he looked away and focused on playing the guitar instead.
As soon as his band exited the stage, you wasted no time to approach them. Steve greeted you with a nod before calling for Nat and Sam, asking for them accompany him to the bar to give you some privacy. Bucky refused to look at you as he gathered his stuff, preparing to leave.
“Can we talk?” You asked.
“I’m heading home.” Bucky curtly responded and brushed past you.
The tables have turned with you walking ahead of him to block his way.
“The night is young, stay a while and keep me company?” You used his line and Bucky was having none of it.
He scoffed and shook his head, “I’m surprised you remembered what I said. I mean, after you just disappeared I assumed you’d completely forgotten about that night.”
“I didn’t.” You told him. “Can we please talk?” You pleaded.
Bucky ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know, I really wanna go home.” He said.
Your hands balled into fists at your sides, “Give me twelve minutes.” You offered.
“Just twelve minutes of your time. Please, Bucky.”
-
The two of you stepped outside the bar for some silence. Bucky walked over to his bike, leaning against it as he looked at you coldly. Those eyes used to gaze at you with warmth, but now they were blank and cold.
“Time is ticking.” He said when you kept mum.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappear like that.” You said, looking down at your feet.
How else were you going to say your piece? You had practiced your speech on the way to the bar and now that Bucky was in front of you, you couldn’t even look at him from shame.
Bucky scoffed, “You asked me for twelve minutes and that’s all you’re gonna say? You’re sorry? Just that?” He bitterly chuckled, running a hand over his scruff.
“If you didn’t mean it then why did you leave? You left me without any warning. I honestly thought there was something between us. After everything that happened, how could you just walk away like that? You led me on, didn’t you?” Bucky angrily asked.
“I didn’t! I swear, I didn’t but I got scared!” You admitted.
“Scared of what?” He asked. “Scared of me? Because I’m not the kind of guy you usually go for? You really couldn’t get rid of that first impression, huh?” He said and turned around.
“That’s not the reason why. Everything scared me because that night was something else. You were too good to be true, Bucky! That’s what scared me!” You told him.
Bucky turned around, his brows creased, “What?”
When you woke up that morning, everything seemed perfect. The past twelve hours you had spent with Bucky were wonderful and you loved every second of it. You enjoyed too much and the thought of it being a one-time thing really broke your heart.
You had attachment issues and you thought that giving in to Bucky would help you learn to enjoy things as they were. But it didn’t and made it even worse because you got attached, so fucking attached.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of ending those twelve hours with a permanent goodbye so I left. You suddenly talked about next time and tomorrow and it was...it was overwhelming for me. My fear got the best of me because that night was too good. You were too good.”
Bucky’s expression softened after hearing your side. Now you felt stupid for overthinking things. It was selfish on your part to assume that those twelve hours meant nothing to Bucky.
“I’m sorry.” You apologized softly. “That night meant everything to me, Bucky. I just wasn’t ready to find out whether it meant the same to you.” You confessed with a sigh.
Bucky stayed quiet after your confession. You could feel your bile rising, you wanted to throw up. Hell, you wanted to just faint and forget about everything. If Bucky wouldn’t give you a second chance, you’d understand him. You did a pretty shitty thing to him anyway.
“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”
You lifted your gaze upon hearing that line. Bucky’s eyes had their warmth back and his expression was no longer stoic. He pushed himself away from his bike and approached you, reaching out to soothe the crease on your forehead.
“It’s not everyday that I find myself in the company of a stranger who made me feel things. I’ve always been a traditional one, I take things slow and I’ve been very careful. When I felt something during those twelve hours, I was caught off guard. I never felt so strongly for someone I just met and it was all new to me and I panicked.” You confessed.
“You were out of my comfort zone and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t mean to disappear like that, Bucky.”
You were met with pure silence after your admission. When you looked up at Bucky, you couldn’t read his expression. Thinking that he wasn’t buying your explanation, you let out a bitter chuckle and shrugged.
“I guess that’s it. Twelve minutes. No more no less. I just wanted you to know that, Bucky. And I’m really, really sorry.” You said and slowly backed away, ready to leave.
“Hey.” Bucky called out, approaching you.
“If I asked you to spend the next twelve hours with me again, where would you go after?” He asked.
Was this a test? You didn’t know how to respond and Bucky seemed to have caught up on that and let out a breathy chuckle.
“Will you stay until the morning this time?” He asked. “‘Cause I was pretty disappointed when I woke up to an empty bed. I had our brunch planned out, you know?”
The mischievous glint in Bucky’s eyes was back. You bit back a smile when Bucky cradled your head into his palm, thumb circling the skin on your neck.
You timidly nodded, tilting your head up to meet Bucky’s lips in a searing kiss that promised you another twelve hours together. And more.
“No more running off in the morning.”
-
Everything Bucky Tag List:
@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @prettyintopeerpressure @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit @bloodhon3yx @dressed-in-prada @lizette50 @thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes @iloveangstposts @weenersoldierr @asemistablehundredyearoldman @reidbuck @lizzarooni @girlfriday007 @bonkywobble @lost-in-the-stars03 @its-yasbxtch @whoth3hellisbucky @5-seconds-of-mendes​ 
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sammygvfslut · 3 years ago
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i like you a latte | s. kiszka
Summary: Words cannot espresso how much you mean to Sammy Kiszka.
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: Hey besties!!! this is my first ever sam fic, and i really hope you guys enjoy it! it’s super cheesy so beware of some tooth-rotting fluff ahead. any and all feedback is appreciated <3
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Loud chattering and the sounds of espresso machines hissing and whistling filled the cafe. Every few seconds or so when a new customer walked in, a soft ringing above the door rang. Glancing at the clock, you sighed as it read 7am. Way too early for your liking. You wished to be back in bed under the covers with your cat Joey snuggling. Plus, the cold weather made it even harder for you to get out of bed every morning. Damn you, winter.
“Good morning.” A voice said suddenly, startling you as you slightly jumped. “Whoops, didn’t mean to scare you there for a sec.”
Turning around at the voice, your heart fluttered and a smile pulled at the corners of your lips. “G-Good morning, Sam! Nope, didn’t scare me at all. I was just uh...focusing very hard and you caught me off guard.”
A chuckle rumbled from his chest, his own lips curving and flashing that beautiful grin. God, he made you melt. You took a quick chance to admire his appearance for the day, luscious brown locks pulled back into a low bun with a few stray pieces framing his face, and he wore a slightly oversized brown grandpa looking sweater. He exuded true fall energy today and all you wanted to do was snuggle with him watching a movie while sipping on hot chocolate. “Right. Focusing on what exactly? Staring at the register?”  
“S-Sure. Yes, the register.” Totally not him instead. “Um, I realized it turned off right now and my mind blanked to turn it back on.”
Sam placed a hand on your shoulder as he laughed, his touch leaving a wave of goosebumps to rise out of your skin. “You’re so cute. I’ll leave you to that then, but if you need help trying to get the register to turn back on again, let me know.” And with that, he sent you a wink and turned on his heel away to start on the customers orders.
Alright, alright. So maybe early shifts weren’t as bad as you thought thanks to your insanely charming co-worker. Sam and you had been working together for the past year, and almost instantly you started falling for him. He welcomed you with open arms and he was a great help when it came to your training. Your co-workers were nice too, but Sam took that extra step in making sure you were comfortable with what you were doing. If you made a mistake and were freaking out about it, he somehow knew the way to calm you down. He was too precious and good for this cruel world. And most of all, out of your league too.
With his dashing looks and amazing personality, you just knew there was no way he’d ever feel the same about you. Except, any time you’d voice that thought to any of your friends at work, they’d tell you you’re crazy and that he likes you too. Apparently they caught on to the signs more than you did, which wasn’t a shocker considering that you’d have no clue if a guy was interested in you unless he blatantly confessed. So, trying to figure out hints was completely pointless for you.
“Uh oh, she’s deep in thought,” one of your friends/co-workers, Danny, teased. He also happened to be Sam’s best friend, and current band mate since the pair are in a band with Sam’s older twin brothers. “I bet I can guess what, or who you were thinking about.”
“Don’t even say it,” you warned with a finger, “He’s literally four feet away from us—”
“So?” Danny rolled her eyes with his arms folded. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? Come on, it’s been almost a year now. What’s the worst that can happen if you confess?”
“He can hear me.” You stared blankly at him, shaking your head. “Absolutely not though, Danny. I will not embarrass myself from the humiliation I’d have to face from his rejection.”
Danny groaned frustratedly, placing his hands on both your shoulders and shaking them. “You’re so hopeless! Y/N, how many times do the guys and I have to tell you he likes you too!” He raised his voice a little louder than necessary which accidentally caught the attention of almost everyone in the cafe. Sam included unfortunately. Danny’s eyes widened, silently cursing under his breath. “Carry on, everyone.”
As much as you hated to admit it, Danny wasn’t lying when he mentioned about the guys agreeing that Sam likes you too. Every time you came over Josh’s apartment and Sam was there he’d find any little excuse to have his arm around you or teasing you constantly. You’d shake it off that he was just treating you like a friend would, but of course the guys would disagree with you.
“We’ll finish this conversation later,” Danny told you sternly, “But for now, and don’t make it obvious, but Sam’s looking at you.” A mischievous grin spread across his face as he winked and stepped to the next register before greeting a new customer and taking their order.
Heart pounding out of your chest, you slowly looked over your shoulder in Sam’s direction. You saw his head quickly turn and finish off the drink in front of him. Your cheeks burned at this and tried taking deep, slow breaths to calm yourself down. Didn’t work much, but as a new customer waved and told you their order, your breathing turned back to normal.
On the other end of the counter, Sam was currently freaking the hell out from what he heard a few minutes ago between you and Danny. He didn’t mean to, but he also wasn’t that far from either of you. Plus, Danny wasn’t the best at keeping his voice low. He had a strong feeling he knew you were talking about him, and for that reason alone he overflowed the cup he was pouring into and made a mess. He cursed under his breath and wiped his hands on his apron, shaking his head.
You caught sight of this and rushed to his side, grabbing a cloth from under the sink and started wiping the sticky counter. Sam was certain his cheeks were tomato red from his embarrassment, making a complete fool of himself for not paying attention to what he was doing. More so focusing on your conversation and your damn smile from earlier. You weren’t the only one here with a crush.
“T-Thanks, Y/N.” Sam chuckled nervously, throwing the cup in the trash and tossing the drink pitcher he held in the sink. “I’m normally not this much of a dumbass.”
“I’m not too sure about that one, Kiszka.” You teased lightly with a grin. “It happens, don’t worry,” you assured. “I’m just glad it was cold tea you spilled and not steaming coffee. I’d hate for you to get a third degree burn. That happened to me once, don’t recommend it.”
“Didn’t I drive you to the hospital for that?” he asked. “I think that might’ve happened a few months ago.”
Your eyes widened at the memory. “Oh shit, you’re right. God, I’m still so sorry I had to drag you into that.”
Sam shook his head, lips curving and cheeks no longer flushed. “For the hundredth time, stop apologizing about that, Y/N. You know you can count on me for anything, so of course I didn’t mind driving you to the hospital. I remember even blasting some ABBA on the way over there so you’d have something else to focus on instead of the pain you endured.”
You smiled at the memory. “Didn’t we also go out for ice cream afterwards?”
He nodded, lightly rubbing his arm. “Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I mean, I always have fun when I’m with you.”
Your breath caught in your throat at his last few words, blinking slowly. “O-Oh.”
Oh? That’s all you have to say? Nice one, Y/N.
Sam’s heart dropped. Fuck. Maybe you weren’t talking about him after all. Maybe it was Danny or one of his brothers that you had a crush on and he was mistaken about it. He wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow him whole right about now. Being anywhere but here sounded splendid to him.
“Y-Y/N, I—“
“Ihavefunwhenimwithyoutoo,” you muttered all too quickly, and poor Sam barely even understood what you said. He didn’t have the chance to ask you to repeat yourself because you quickly walked away to the back and he was left with a tug at his chest, frowning.
Within the next few days after Sam’s tea spill, literally, things between you and him became...awkward. Something went off in him to become even more clumsy than normal and forget everything he’s ever known when you’re near him. He’d get flustered, stuttering a lot, messing up orders, dropping dishes, and nearly tripping all the time. He hated it so much and wished he could just muster up the courage and apologize for being such an idiot and confess his feelings to you. Even during your hangouts with the guys, Sam and you wouldn’t interact as much and honestly you were well aware you were being super childish and immature about the situation. Sam did too, and he needed to snap the fuck out of it.
The next few days at work Sam would ignore Danny’s little side comments about his immaturity and continued working in silence. For the rest of his shift he didn’t talk much to anyone other than the customers. He wanted to talk to you when he had the chance, but then he’d quickly back out and walk the opposite direction.
He couldn’t figure out why it was so futile for him to just grow a sack and tell you he likes you. He’d never gone through this struggle before. Then again, as cheesy as it sounded, the other girls he’d asked out in the past couldn’t compare to you. Never in a million years, and maybe he was too afraid that he didn’t deserve someone as amazing as you.
Nearing closing that same day, it was only you, Sam, and Danny. The flow of customers died down and not many people came in towards the end of the night which you were grateful for. It finally gave you the chance to relax a bit and start cleaning things up ahead of time so you wouldn’t have to stay after. Joey and a nice warm bath were waiting for you at home.
While Sam decided on working the register and you and Danny would clean, he grabbed your arm and led you into the back.
“What are you two still doing not dating each other or talking?! It’s been way too long now, Y/N. And since it’s only us three tonight, you have no other choice. Come on, I know you can’t take this any longer, and he can’t either. I can take over the register for a bit while you and him talk.”
You chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating his offering. As incredibly thankful as you were for his help, you were also scared shitless of the possible outcome. Perhaps it was finally time though that you say fuck it and say what you needed to. You couldn’t go on for any longer to keep your feelings bottled up inside. Maybe, just maybe he might feel the same way, and by God you hoped that would be the case.
Inhaling, you nodded slowly and made your way back to where you were. Your eyes searched for Sam and saw he was busy making a drink, except there was no one else here besides you, him and Danny. It could’ve been a drink for him, so you shrugged this off and went towards the sink to start washing the dishes.
A few moments later, Sam cleared his throat from behind you. “H-Hey Y/N, so um, I know the créme brûlée latte is your favorite, and I thought I’d make you one. You seemed really stressed and busy today and I wanted to try to cheer you up. I hope that’s okay.”
Your heart swelled at his generosity and your cheeks burned as you felt his gaze burning into you, his palms soaking from nervousness. “Sam, you didn’t have to do that for me.”
He shrugged casually, a small smile on his lips and his cheeks tinted a light pink. “It’s okay, I wanted to. And I uh, tried my best on the art. Hope you like it.”
Raising a brow, your gaze dropped on your cup and your eyes widened as you saw what he was referring to. A small coffee cup with the words I like you a latte around it.
“It’s true,” Sam chewed on his bottom lip while running his fingers through his hair. “I really like you Y/N, and I’m so sorry for acting like such an idiot these last few days around you. I don’t know what came over me, and I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you much either.”
Setting your cup on the counter, you took a step closer to him and cupped his cheek, rubbing your thumb softly against his soft skin. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, Sam. I’m sorry for not talking to you too, as well as for making a fool of myself. I tend to do that around someone I like.”
Finally, the realization dawned on Sam as a wide grin pulled at his lips. “Glad we’re on the same boat.”
“I-Is it alright if I kiss you?” he asked shyly, his eyes sparkling as he looked at you.
You giggled. “You don’t even have to ask, loverboy.” You playfully rolled your eyes and cupped his other cheek before connecting his lips with yours.
A smirk pulled at Danny’s lips as he glanced at the two of you, shaking his head. Josh and Jake owed him $20 now. 
It was about damn time that Sam and you finally espresso’d your love for each other. 
tagging these lovely folks bc they helped inspired me and their work is amazing <3 @godlygreta​ / @flowervanfleet​ / @dharma-divine​
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soyouthinkucanwrite · 3 years ago
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The money thing (part 1/2) - Daniel Ricciardo
It's always the little things, isn't it? The smallest stupidest things make almost no difference and then make all the difference in the world. They make everything special, but they also have the power to tear everything appart.
You and Daniel fight about money for the thousand time and he's had enough of it.
Warnings: super angst, but with a happy ending :)
Guys, this turned out WAY BIGGER than I expected, so I'm just gonna do a part 2, okay? Okay, thanks for understanding!
Song that inspired me: A list by HVOB
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You and Daniel had been dating for a couple months now, having met through a common friend and hitting off almost instantly. You lived in Amsterdam and he, well he lived all over the world really, but his "time off" (meaning not racing) was spent between Monaco and London (for work), and Amsterdam now too, of course.
The changes were small and subtle at the beginning, like your weekends being spent traveling to meet him wherever in the world he was and consequently spending almost all your savings on plane tickets. You never complained to him (you planned on spending the money traveling anyway, so you didn't see the point), but didn't accept when he offered to buy your tickets, either. There's been some awkwardness around the subject but it usually died on its own.
*beginning of flashback*
"You’d have gotten here in time if you'd gotten the early flight like I told you" you remembered him saying that time you got in the paddock after the qualifying session had begun and couldn’t kiss him good luck.
"Baby, I told you. It was crazy expensive! Absurd even!"
"(y/n) for god's sake! What are we saving money for? I told you, you have my credit card number, I've offered to get you one, this is ridiculous, I can't believe I literally earn millions and my girlfriend wasn't there with me because the ticket was too expensive! I'll fucking fly you private if I have to!" he was almost yelling in his driver's room. You could only stare from the corner.
He took a deep breath running his hands through his hair. "Sorry. It's just... it was crap out there. I needed you" you grimaced at his words.
"Sorry. I really am..." you tried to approach him. "I'm here now?" you touched his arm. "It can't have been that bad, you're still on the top 10 and we both know what you can do from the 8th car..." you smiled at him.
*end of flashback*
He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).
He started to spend much more of his time off with you at your place, so you decided to get a place by yourself (having a roommate was great for company and splitting the rent, but having a roommate there while you guys just wanted some much-needed privacy was not working). Then there were more traveling to meet him, furniture for the new place, clothing for all the events (GPs or not), uber rides here and there... all of that without mentioning that you weren't being able to get the freelance jobs you used to get to make some extra money, so yeah, to say things were tight was an understatement. You tried to do all your shopping alone, so he wouldn't offer and you wouldn't refuse or be awkward about it, but Daniel seem to be glued to you whenever you were in the same city (not that you’re complaining).
The thing is, you always had trouble dealing with money. Sure, you liked to pay for your own stuff so as to not owe anything to anyone (especially boys), but it was so much deeper than that. Ever since a kid, you hated asking for money from your parents, and sometimes even the thought of buying stuff that was a bit more expensive made you sick. You couldn't explain why, you just felt guilty having so much and knowing that most people have never even seen that amount. It's not that you didn't want to spend it and save for the sake of it, you just didn't handle the idea of money very well. Needless to say, dating a millionnaire was bound to cause trouble in the relationship for you.
You were currently at his place in Monaco. It was the summer break and you had decided to spend some days just chilling at home, just the two of you - which you were glad since going out means hair, makeup, clothes, accessories, shoes... and, let's be honest, the kind of places he usually took you is not the kind of places you just throw something together last minute (the Instagram models and other driver's girlfriends looking you up and down were enough to make you think about spending money you did not have to hire a stylist or something like that). The whole situation was really stressing you out and you knew you would have to be honest with him eventually, instead of only dodging the subject and refusing most of his offers to pay. You tried to. You kind of tried. You suggested staying at home, in bed, most of the time, and he gladly agreed, but that strategy wasn't gonna work forever. You had to be honest with him. But at the same time, you knew what he was going to say and do, and the thought of him spending money on you, even if just by handling the restaurant bill, wasn't something you were much more comfortable with. Besides, it was only a matter of time before the "gold-digger" term starts to fly around in the small world that was the F1's.
You were laying on his couch, the Olympics playing on the TV but you were too busy overthinking the money thing to pay attention. Daniel was laying with his head on your lap, absently caressing your thigh and watching the TV. His phone went off and he moved to pick it up.
"Hello?" you watched as he answered the phone. "Hey mate, how's it going? Uh nothing, we're just chilling at home. Getting some rest... Yeah, I'm getting rested, you dirty-minded son of a bitch" you rolled your eyes while he laughed out loud on the line with someone. "Yeah, I know... the 19th is it? No, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. I'll be there. Alright, mate. Thanks for calling. Have a good one! Bye!" he hanged up and leaned in to peck you on the lips.
"Good news?" you asked him.
"Not really. Just wanted to kiss you" he shrugged, smiling. You smiled back and hugged him, pulling him in for another kiss. He was always so caring with you, always finding an excuse to kiss or touch you. You knew some people didn't like it, but you loved it. Physical touch was definitely one of your love languages.
"What's happening on the 19th then?" you asked him once you guys set apart from the kiss.
"Gotta be in London. Gonna run some testings and other boring race stuff..."
"Hum..." you hummed in understanding.
"You know what would make it less boring though?" he asked and you just looked at him, you already knew what he was going to ask you and it wasn't that you didn't want to spend every minute of the day with him, but you simply couldn't afford any more traveling, especially not in such short notice. "If you came with me. Huh? What do you say? A week in the Queen's land? Then we can fly together to Spa and after the race, I can go with you to Amsterdam. The next one it's the Dutch GP anyway, I'll just get there sooner" he laughed. It was crushing you, the man of your dreams was literally beaming at making plans with you, talking about spending the next few weeks glued together and you couldn't say yes.
"Dan, I have to work" you smiled sadly.
"Can't you work from distance? Or, I don't know, I mean... I know it's tiring, but you could come to London and fly home a bit early, then just meet me in Belgium?" great, his solution includes even more flying. And the thing is, you really didn't mind the flying. You always slept during the whole thing anyway, so you never got tired and the jetlag was minimal. You could work from distance, sure. Your boss wouldn't mind, as long as you got there eventually to check in on everything. But the whole logistics were just too expensive. There was no way you could afford it.
"I... sorry, I don't think I can" you said sadly and watched as his face dropped.
"That's fine, baby. I get it. I'm asking too much, all this traveling... don't worry about it" he tried to mask his emotions but you knew better. He knew you could in fact work from distance, so he was probably thinking the reason you couldn't do it was because you didn't want to.
He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. Meanwhile, you couldn't help but bury your face in your palms. This was so frustrating!
"You wanna go for a run or something? Maybe get something to eat?" he called from the kitchen, already moving on from the subject. You knew this whole thing was only gonna keep build up till he got tired of your excuses or you blowing up, probably the former, but you just keep going.
"Yeah, sure" you answered, getting up from the couch.
You and Daniel were both very active so going for a run, hiking, riding bikes, or whatever in the middle of the day was really routine for you. The Monaco summer weather was as beautiful as always and the sun was shining bright. You enjoyed the rest of your afternoon racing each other, kissing in the harbor, and just taking in the views, spending quality time together. Money wasn't even a thing in your bubble for a while.
"I'm getting hungry" he said on the way back home.
"Me too, and I'm super hot. I could go for a juice or something right now" you were all sweaty from the running, but you didn't care, he was too.
"You're always hot baby, I don't think juice gonna help with that" he grinned at you and you just rolled your eyes at him.
You passed by one of his favorite spots for food, nearby his place and he suggested getting some take-out, to which you agreed.
"Green juice, and a chicken wrap?" you tried to decide while the both of you waited in line.
"I'll never understand how you drink that"
"I've seen you drink that too, it's actually very refreshing"
"Because I'm forced to, I'm a high-performance athlete baby. But I'm on a break, so I'll have a coke, thank you very much" you laughed at him. He was holding your hand and tried to kiss you, wrapping his arm around you, you didn't dodge his kiss, you would never, but still laughed at the fact he wanted to kiss the sweaty mess you were right now.
"I'm gross, only you" you laughed.
"That's my baby, with no makeup she a ten" he rapped shrugging and grinning.
"Alright Lil Wayne, I know that one, don't even finish the verse" you laughed at him, making him laugh out loud, getting everyone's in the restaurant's attention.
"It's true, though"
"Sure..." You just shook your head smiling. Then you heard someone call his name.
"Hey! Daniel!" you both turned around to see Charles and Charlotte sitting in a corner, him waving at you two. You had met Charles a couple of times before but never spoke too much to him. They seemed to be leaving anyway, so they walked towards you guys, instead of towards the door.
"Hey mate, how's it going?" Daniel greeted him with a handshake. "Hey, Charlotte! You know (y/n) yet?"
"Hi! I don't think so, hi! How are you?" she greeted you smiling.
"Hi! Nice to meet you. Hi, Charles!" you said.
"Hey, (y/n). You're keeping him in line during the break? Char won't let me cheat my diet either" he laughed.
"Oh, that ship has sailed long ago! Daniel will just roll into the paddock if it's up to him" you laughed back.
"Hey! I think I've earned the right to some extra calories, we've been working out extra hard lately" Daniel said waving his eyebrows suggestively, making Charlotte giggle, Charles rolls his eyes and you go even redder than you were from the actual workout, while he just laughed out loud.
"I don't even want to know" Charles said. "Always great running into you mate" he was getting ready to say goodbye.
"Are we seeing you guys tomorrow?" Charlotte asked you.
"Tomorrow?" you asked her.
"Stefano's birthday" she said like it was obvious. Stefano Domenicali was the President and CEO of Formula 1, but you didn't know that yet - still, her tone made it seems like it was someone Daniel knew, so you just looked at him. He just rubbed his neck, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, wait. Please tell me I didn't just said something I shouldn't" she looked at Charles.
"No, no. He invited me. Us, actually" Daniel reassured her. "I don't think we're going though, forgot to mention to you" he said looking at you.
"Uh mate, I wouldn't skip that if I were you. He didn't even invite all the drivers I heard" Charles said. "Maybe just stop by to say hello?"
"Stop by... a yacht... at the sea?" Charlotte said grinning at him. Daniel looked at you.
"You feel like going? It should be fun" he asked you.
"Sounds fancy... I mean, I don't mind if you go" you said.
"Common... I’m not going alone" he nudged you.
"I don't even have anything to wear, Dan" you told him.
"Oh! We can go shopping together!" Charlotte said and you had almost forgotten they were still there.
"Perfect!" Daniel answered for you. You could only imagine the types of stores she shopped.
"Tomorrow morning, then? Daniel can text your address to Charles for me? I'll pick you up!" she was being really nice about it.
"I thought you wanted to go today?" Charles said.
"That's when I thought I would have to go shopping with you, so I could use the extra time since you're the worst shopping partner ever!" she laughed at him.
"Burn!" Daniel laughed.
"His fashion taste is not the most reliable, let's face it" she laughed and kissed his cheek. "It's a date then (y/n)?" she looked expectantly at you. You didn't want to let her down, it was so hard to make friends with the girlfriends of other drivers, they were usually so... not nice. You could always just help her and find something to wear in your own stuff later.
"Yeah, sure! See you tomorrow, at 10?" you said simply.
"Perfect!" she beamed.
>>> end of part 1 <<<
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lanarist · 4 years ago
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NSFW 18+ Plug! Dabi x Fem! Reader HC
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a/n: first off, minors DNI. Second, this is my first time posting any of my writing on any platform. I have so much shit on Wattpad that just sits in the drafts. I am not confident enough to publish my shit writing. I’m shocked that i am even doing this. But I thought about this while breaking up 🍃🍃 for a blunt. I’ve seen so many hcs/Drabbles of stoner Dabi. ....but what about plug dabi
Also I want to mention that I do not condone drug use unless for medical reasons. it helps me with my extreme anxiety. literally saved me. And I 100% do not condone drug dealing. Just wanna throw that out there before you read.
a/n: this shit is SOOO long I’m sorry. I worked on this for like three days.
Summary: literally brain rot. Dabi being your plug HC.
Warnings: drug use, intercourse, dumbafication, oral (f receiving), sexual themes, mentions of alcohol.
I feel like you would probably meet him at some house party. Full of people drunk and/or high off of drugs that were given at the party, the supplier being Dabi for said drugs.
He immediately noticed you when you joined the circle of people passing blunts around, thinking you definitely did not belong here. You looked so innocent with those unsure doe like eyes when a random guy passes the blunt to you.
Gravely mistaken when he watches you puff that blunt like a champ, not coughing up a lung once and throwing back alcohol like it was water. Good girl on the outside but bad girl on the inside? Holy fuck he thought you were hot. He’s gotta get to know you.
After the smoke sesh, he would pull you aside to introduce himself just to get close to you.
Would definitely give you his number saying, “if you ever need anything, hit me up. I got whatever ya need, doll.”
Anytime you text him needing something, he would get so excited. He would drop whatever he’s doing. It don’t matter if he’s in the middle of a sell, dead asleep, at his part time job extra cash, or early in the morning. He’s gonna give you what you’re asking of him asap.
Definitely giving you discounts even on his best shit. Original price for 10 grams is $100? He’s giving it to you for $50.
Also would throw in extra without your knowledge. One time you noticed he gave you three extra grams and tried to give it back to him. “‘S okay. Just keep it, doll.”
Plug dabi would definitely get jealous if you bought anything from anyone else besides him. He will make sure to give you shit for that.
If he doesn’t have what you need at that moment. Baby, he’s going to make sure he gets it by any means necessary if it means he gets to see you for a few minutes.
Will always bring the drugs to you wherever you’re at. No matter how many times you’ve told him you’ll meet him somewhere or come to his place. He doesn’t wanna inconvenience you.
He would always look for you at parties. Once found, he’s dragging you away from everybody to a vacant room, outside, or to his car. He wants to smoke with you alone.
Loves when the smoke rolls smoothly out of your mouth after you inhale it. Thinks you look god damn sexy with the smoke floating around you and your low red eyes look fucking adorable.
If there’s something new you wanna try lsd or shrooms etc, he’ll offer to be with you and to stay sober incase you have a bad trip.
He knows he’s completely infatuated with you, but will not admit it to his friends. Especially Keigo. “You’re fucking whipped.” “Shut the fuck up, Keigo.”
Absolutely hates it when some random dude hits on you at parties or even stands close to you. He’s pulling you away to smoke.
Finally gets the balls to text you one night to smoke with him. “I got some good shit this time, doll. Wanna smoke it with me?”
When he gets to your house, he’ll already have the blunts rolled, a pipe, or anything you want ready for you.
Will hold the blunt to your lips when it gets too small. gets a boner feeling how soft they feel. He doesn’t want you to burn your pretty fingers.
Loves that you match his energy when it comes to smoking. No one has been able to smoke as much as he does like you do.
When he starts to notice the looks you’re giving him, the way your eyelashes bat at him and the lustful look in your eyes. He decides he can’t hold back anymore.
He’ll grab your chin with his thumb and forefinger to face him, softly blowing smoke onto to your lips as he stares at you. Will roughly pull you in closer to smash his lips against yours after the smoke disappears.
Gently pushes you to lay back on your bed so he can hover over you and rest himself between your legs.
No high from any drug could compare to the soft whimpers and moans leaving your lips when he pushes his hips into yours. It was fucking music to his ears.
Absolutely snaps when you tug on his white hair. He’s tearing yours and his clothes off now.
And don’t you dare try to cover that beautiful body of yours. “Don’t hide from me now, baby.”
He’ll start leaving marks on your neck, then down to your breast, taking extra time sucking, licking, biting, and kissing on them.
When he gets down lower on your body, he’s happy to set that you’re already soaking, showing that you wanted this as much as him. He’ll wrap his arms around your thighs, setting them over his shoulders and will go to fucking work on your pussy.
Swears that he could’ve came on the spot from the moans and whimpers leaving your lips. Especially the moan that you let out when he added two of his fingers into the mix.
Will make it a point to constantly praise you while his tongue makes you feel like you’re higher than cloud 9. “You taste so fucking good.” “God, so fucking beautiful.”
Will stop right before you cum. “Nah, baby. I want you cummin on my cock.”
After he’s got you all ready for him, baby you are in for it. He’s waited so long for this fucking moment. He ain’t holding back. He’ll grab your throat tightly as he seethes himself into you. You both gasp at the feeling of pure ecstasy.
Loves your fucked out face. Tongue lolled out. Tears brimming your eyes. Little bit of drool dripping of the corner of your mouth. Hair a complete fucking mess from the many times he’s pulled on it.
His stroke game? GODLY. He’s thrusting into you like a god damn rabbit but he’s hitting all of the right places and it feels so fucking good.
100% rough but his words are the opposite. “You’re taking my cock so well, doll.” “Look so beautiful while I’m fucking ya dumb.” has a degradation kink but that’s for another time.
Aftercare with Dabi is pure heaven. He’ll hand you his shirt from off of the ground for you to wear. He’ll clean you up, light up a blunt for you two, and cuddle you until you both fall asleep.
Oh and, you definitely getting shit for free for now on.
Tags: @bakugosbratx
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miraeluc · 4 years ago
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you have an eating disorder
prompt: “you never had issues with food - that is until your boyfriend makes a remark about your weight.”
pairing: katsuki bakugo x female! reader
word count: 1.6k
warnings: MAJOR TW!! anorexia, there’s swearing
genre: fluff, angst 
NOTE: this is not proofread at all and it’s kinda short, i was struggling to finish it a lot, sorry :(
you were never one to pay special attention to your diet or anything
life is short, why spend it worrying about how your body looks?
food is food man, and you need it to live 
there was no fun in dieting either, it’s not like you were ever fat anyway - with daily training you were in shape!
sure there were thinner girls, but like i mentioned, you just liked enjoying food without having to worry about losing weight all the time 
your boyfriend, bakugo, just does not know how to express himself 
he’s not the type to really pay any mind to your figure, he finds you pretty anyway 
and its a plus anyway - whenever he feels full he can just push his plate towards you and you’ll gladly finish it for him 
that is until one day
you were sitting with the baku squad at lunch
mina was telling you about a new tiktok trend she had stumbled upon and found hilarious 
denki was currently fighting for his life against bakugo after saying his hair looked like he was just hit by an electricity quirk before he proceeded to zap him lightly 
kirishima was regretting all of his life decisions when he decided to try and help denki 
sero was just sat there,, recording it so he could show them just how stupid they looked afterwards
kirishima finally managed to pull said angry-boy away from kaminari 
you always said he’s like a little angry pomeranian when angry lol 
back to the plot omg i got carried away
after bakugo was calm enough to take his initial seat beside you, he was already too full and just overall not hungry
so he pushed his plate towards you 
“eat up, fatass.” he grumbled out
you just looked up at him with wide doe-eyes, not expecting an insult to slip off his tongue
it was bakugo, what’d you expect lmao 
you looked down at the plate, suddenly feeling very not hungry anymore, instead pushing the plate away as you grabbed your bag to stand up
“actually, i’ll head up to my room, i feel a bit sick”
you immediately left after that, not seeing the confused glances the table exchanged, mina smacking bakugo’s head
you went to your room and laid down, not knowing why bakugo’s comment had made you feel upset
you never get upset when he makes dumb remarks!!
so why now!!
oh 
you realised it when you were stood in front of the mirror, shirt lifted, staring at your own body
you did gain some weight.
you were upset at yourself because you usually didn’t mind!!
you know weight fluctuates, you know the small amount of chub you have will eventually pack it’s little bags and leave again 
but it hurt because you wanted to be pretty for your boyfriend.
how could you be when he says you’re a fatass?
eventually, you ended up scrolling through your phone, looking at thin girls all day
you also looked up a few diets that worked very fast 
by the time bakugo was aggressively knocking at your door you had closed all of the pages you were previously looking at 
as soon as you swung the door open he strutted in, seating himself on your bed
“what was with you running off at lunch today?” he looked at you 
you were still stood at your door like.... mm ok i guess make yourself at home 
“huh? i told you, i felt a little sick.” you mumbled, closing the door again, it was getting late and you were not looking to be beheaded by aizawa
he scoffed “if you say so.” he laid down, kicking your blanket to the side
“i brought you some snacks - incase you got hungry..” he said, his face looking like >:( 
he didn’t get them because he knew you liked them and wanted to make you happy! not at all!!
he just didn’t want to put up with you being whiny
that’s for sure the reason 
you giggled, throwing yourself ontop of him - sounds of protest coming from him but he did wrap his arms around you 
“since when are you so nice, katsuki?!” you teased
lol wrong move 
in 0.01 seconds you were flipped over and held down as he started tickling you 
“i’m not nice!”
the next morning you left extra early to avoid getting breakfast with bakugo
he didn’t seem to be bothered by it, he also has days where he just doesn’t feel like eating early in the morning so 
it does start to bother him when that one day of skipping breakfast turned into every day
his google search bar is like 
‘why does my gf not eat’
‘do girls not eat breakfast’
but this bitch is also too scared to approach you at first because he doesnt want you to know he truly cares 
his ego is still too high for that 
but you know better
you know he cares but sometimes you don’t feel good enough for him
you can’t help but compare yourself to other girls at your school
you distance yourself unknowingly, lost in the counting calories and exercising every day
everyone but you notices that you’re literally spiraling 
you don’t notice that you look sick, skin paling and cheekbones getting more prominent every passing day 
you don’t notice the growing eyebags under your eyes 
all you notice is other pretty girls and how you want to look like them.
at first, your friends decide to give you some space, thinking that maybe you have to fix this within yourself and need space
and you do, but someone needs to snap you out of your little bubble 
that someone is bakugo 
so it goes like this 
during training, he noticed your legs being a little more wobbly than usual 
and he noticed that you were unfocused, not being able to dodge all of the enemies attacks 
but something inside of him snaps when aizawa has to stop the fight because you were not even fighting back anymore
before aizawa even arrived in front of you, your world went black and you collapsed
bakugo was so angry at your training enemy 
didn’t they fucking see your struggle?? 
did they really have to be stopped by their teacher??
would they even have stopped if it werent for aizawa?? 
probably not
but he didnt have time to go and yell at them because he was running towards you 
aizawa let him pick you up
“bring her to recovery girl.”
of course he did 
everyone watching was so shocked 
because bakugo didn’t let out a sound the entire time 
his face was pulled into a frown, as usual, but he wasn’t speaking- no, yelling
he showed past his classmates, walking towards recovery girl’s office
“ribbit, why was he so quiet?”
recovery girl was like ?!?!?! what the fuck happened when was the last time she ate
she had to give you a total parenteral nutrition
(that means nutrition/fluids are delivered into your body via a catheter placed in a vein of your body, usually lower arm)
when you woke up bakugo was sat next to the bed, reading the back of some medicine bottle he found there
when he noticed you awake he perked up a little, shoulders visibly relaxing
“what happened?” 
he narrowed his eyes, wondering for a second if you were serious 
“you’re starving yourself to near death, that’s what happened.”
you immediately grimaced
“did i pass out in front of everyone?”
“is that seriously what you’re worried about?!”
you remained quiet, looking away
“y/n, look at me.” he gently guided your head to face him
“i don’t know what drove you to do this to yourself, but i need you to stop. you’re going to die if you don’t stop. what idiot made you think you need to do this to yourself?! i’ll kill them!”
..
“you told me i was a fatass”
his jaw dropped
fuck
“you know i don’t mean when i insult you! i hide the fucking fact that i WANT you to eat by using insults! i’m so sorry..”
his voice went soft at the end
he truly felt so bad :(
he was the one that was supposed to protect you from others hurting you yet here he was, being the one that caused you to hink you weren’t worthy enough
“i know, but there’s so many much more prettier girls than me, i was afraid you’d lose feelings if i wasn’t thin enough.”
“are you kidding?! you’re the only one i have eyes for! all those other extra’s can fuck off, i don’t give a single shit about them!”
you were kinda tearing up
“do you promise?”
god, he felt so bad.
he sat on the edge of the bed, reluctantly pulling you in a hug 
“i promise”
from that day on he made sure to remind you to eat meals, even if it was just something small
he ripped everyone’s heads off if they made a comment about your eating habits and/or weight
and he made sure you were the only one he loved
the day he saw you collapse something broke inside of him
it opened his eyes that hiding his emotions from you wouldn’t help you in your relationship
so while he supported you to build your feelings of self-worth and eating habits, you helped him start to open up, teaching him that showing emotions wasn’t embarassing
no one else knew how soft he could get with you and it should stay that way
you had a long way to go but it was all worth it in the end
he was your little angry pomeranian <33
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theliterarywolf · 2 years ago
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Alright, so Helluva Boss has finally returned for its second season.
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The bloody, raunchy little indie show that could has obviously entranced viewers all over the internet (including some who probably shouldn't be watching it; *glaring at the parents who let their elementary-age children watch it because "all cartoons are totes for children, right?"), but is the series strong enough to hold up a continuation? Or was first season a fluke with an unsteady foundation?
So earlier when I made a bite-sized post after watching the S2 premiere, I had a few people who were unsure of whether my comment of 'that was a lot' was meant to be good or bad. Which is, of course, understandable. I was out and about so I didn't want to make a full post and accidentally end up spoiling people.
However, now that I can make a longer form post, I can firmly state that the first episode of Season 2, titled "The Circus" is definitely a strong opener.
While there were a few pieces of the humor that we've come to know from this production, the bulk of the episode was definitely more grounded and drama-focused due to it following Stolas from his childhood, to the early days of his arranged marriage, and finally the current timeframe (i.e.: where Season 1 ended off)
So, what were the stand-out elements for me?
Paimon - I really enjoyed how Paimon, while being an emotionally neglectful parent, wasn't so in the bombastic, emotionally/physically abusive sense. Oh, he's still not great, but he at least had the wherewithal to, upon seeing his son upset about his 'non-negotiable arranged marriage', try and make him feel better through material means. In comparison to most parents in that trope going the route of 'stop fucking crying, do what you're told, and GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!'
Biltzo and Stolas's initial reunion - While their time together as children was cute, I feel like the reunion was a bit stronger not only because of the setting for it (Stella's "Not-Divorced" Anniversary Party) but also because it gave us stronger context for the famous 'Sorry, I fucked your husband!' scene from the pilot. Stolas's joyous crows of 'That! Was the sound! Of a FUCKING divorce!!' were the icing on the cake.
However, I will admit that there were two elements which, while still enjoyable to watch, weren't executed the best.
Stolas's new song - I felt like it was so much flatter than his last performance. Yes, the moods are different (singing a heartfelt lullaby to your child versus realizing that everything in your life has gone to shit) but it never hit that realm of musical-theatre like 'You Will be Okay' did.
Fucking. Stella. - Okay. *deep breath* Okay, okay, okay. I always knew that Stella's main presence in the series is that of an emotional antagonist to Stolas but there was always the hope in my mind of 'well, she probably has reasons or weight behind her demeanor and actions. While she acts abrasive, there's something else there!'
But... Nope. Spindlehorse has decided that she's literally just a bitch. And I can't help but feel like it's a bit of a wasted opportunity because, initially, there was room for something like 'oh, she's been trying to make this unhappy marriage somewhat presentable for the sake of duty but Stolas cheating on her has just caused her to say 'fuck it' but, no, she's always been violent and angry from birth. So... yay...
Also the thing with her cackling to her friends about 'all he does is lie there in bed, I have to do everything'.
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Honey. Your husband is gay. Send for an incubus or some other prostitute to get him in the mood and then push them away for the main deed. Literally, you're rich!! There are ways to go about this, Stella!
Overall, this episode is a strong 7.5/10.
Also, I just remembered that someone on Twitter translated the pages that Stolas was reading during his song and they're roughly along the lines of a recipe for crystals that allow travel to the living world. So, oof, yeah: Stolas is thinking of ending the arrangement he has with Blitzo and its going to be interesting to see how that unfolds.
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