#literally this is worse than after i birthed my children | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

otteropera · 2 years ago

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Home (Jon Snow x Reader)

A/N - Only took me, what, like three months to finish this request? I kept coming back to it and re-reading and changing it but I finally FINISHED IT! The wonderful @pastanest requested this one so shoutout to her, if you are thirsting for Jon Snow (like me) GO CHECK HER OUT!!! She is an amazing writer and a wonderful person <3

Warnings - blood, RAMSAY BOLTON, violence... its game of thrones tbh

Word count - 5.7k

The fire had gone out weeks ago. No one who came in bothered to replenish it with wood, and I wasn't exactly in a position to do it, with my wrists chained to the floor. I'd had a lot of time to think about things. About my past, about Sansa, about what led me to this moment, about Jon.

I found that my mind went wandering to him quite often.

Nineteen years ago, after Robert’s Rebellion ended, many reunions were had. Fathers saw their children and wives saw their husbands. It was a sigh of relief for people who had their loved ones taken away, forced to fight the Mad King. My mother waited with baited breath, staring at the horizon everyday for months, praying to all the Gods that she would see him in the distance, finally returning to her. She held her budding belly with tears in her eyes, refusing to believe that she was living in a world without him.

She later passed away on the birthing bed.

If it weren’t for the wet-nurse that was able to arrive so quickly from a town over, I wouldn’t have made it. When word got to Eddard Stark that I was in fact alive, and without parents, he was quick to get me over to Winterfell. I don’t remember my life before the Starks, and I don’t have much of a need to. I befriended the Stark children and was welcomed into their home with open arms. My father gave his life in service to the realm, they felt it was the least they could do. From what Lord Eddard remembered of my parents, they were utterly and wholly in love.

Sansa and I clicked when we were younger. Although I was a few years older than her, we got along very well. We would brush each other's hair and put it in pretty braids, we'd giggle when the stable boys would flirt with us, and she would tease me for my crush on Jon. Once the two of us were of age, I was assigned as her lady-in-waiting. It was sort of like being Sansa's ‘official friend’, which wasn't hard. It really didn't change much; we got to spend all of our time together.

Sometimes, if I closed my eyes hard enough, I could go back to those days. When we were younger, we'd help sneak Arya out of her room and run down the corridors to the kitchen to steal any lemon cakes that were left from dinner. I was almost certain that Lord Eddard and Lady Catelyn knew what we were doing, but let us have our fun when they heard the laughter from the kitchens late at night.

"What are you doing?"

Jon stood in the doorway, his mouth slightly agape, eyebrows furrowed. Arya, Sansa, and I stilled, crumb-covered mouths tightly shut. I wasn't sure if it was our lack of sleep or the definite sugar high, but Arya burst out laughing, spewing bits of cake over the table, while Sansa and I did our best not to copy her, covering our mouths and stifling our laughs. With my quick and shy glances to Jon, I could tell he was having a hard time keeping a smile off his face.

"I can't believe you guys," he said, shaking his head. "You're worse than Bran."

Bran was notorious for stealing sweets. I hoped that wherever Sansa had escaped to, she got to eat as many lemon cakes as she pleased. It had been months since she got away from Ramsay’s hold, and sometimes I wondered if she would leave me here for good.

It was an awful thing to think, I knew that, but Ramsey knew how to get under my skin (literally) and drill some awful things into my mind. I couldn’t begin to imagine what he’d done to Sansa. Thankfully, he could go days without bothering to torment me, which usually meant that I didn’t get to eat either, but I was more than willing to trade that for some time away from Ramsay. The room that I’d been confined to was small and drafty, from what I could guess used to be an extra storage room for food, with the old flour bags and rotting potatoes. They were my bed most nights. Though I have to admit, it’s a step up from the cell outside with the dogs. Ramsay had been keeping me there until Sansa found out and refused to eat until I was moved to an actual room. She even got me a makeshift fireplace in an old cooking pot.

I was convinced that the only reason I was able to stay sane was by staying in my mind. Thinking of ten years ago, when I was growing up here with Sansa, Arya… Jon. When I was safe and happy and took everything for granted.

There was some irony in it. The place that I grew up in, that allowed me to build the friendships and relationships that I had, that allowed me to be free of the pain of growing up without a family, was then the same place that kept me from being with mine.

The door creaked open, and in walked the man who had chained me here. Ramsay knelt in front of me, placing down a bowl of stew. One glance at it and I was salivating. Meat, potatoes, carrots, celery, all steaming gloriously in the bowl in front of me. That was… odd. I’m not one to turn down a hot meal, especially when I hadn’t eaten in days, but I knew the games Ramsay played. I knew that there was… something else to it. Ramsay sat on the floor across from me, with that sick little half-smirk.

“It’s rude to refuse food from the Warden of the North,” he commented, clasping his hands together in front of him.

“He didn’t put this in front of me. You did.”

Ramsay let out a dry laugh, not letting his smile fall. I only managed to get that look off his face once, and I paid for it. However, I still found myself accepting the challenge of knocking Ramsay’s ego down a peg.

“I see you’re in a fine mood today, that’s good,” he paused, “I have good news.”

That was saying something, coming from him.

“The bastard is coming.”

I froze at that. It took a moment to realize that that’s what he wanted, he always wanted to get a rise out of me. I refused to give him any satisfaction. I had to stop myself from meeting his penetrating stare.

“I’d spoken to him earlier, along with my dear wife,” his emphasis on the word ‘wife’ made me want to vomit. “They’ll be coming to Winterfell tomorrow to try to take it from me, with lesser men. And when they lose," Ramsay's voice got quieter as he leaned in towards me, "Sansa will watch me flay you living. She will watch me feed you to those dogs, she will watch as you die in that cell, screaming and bleeding. I will make her understand what happens to those she cares about when she betrays me." His pitch black eyes stared into mine as I tried to control my breathing. I didn’t think I'd ever truly, wholly, and honestly wished for someone to die a painful death as much as I wished it for that man. I swallowed harshly.

"Winterfell has never been yours. It never will be," I whispered. He leaned back, loosening up, but his eyes looked empty as ever. And he smiled some more.

“Jon sounded awfully concerned for you.” No. No. “I’m assuming Sansa had told him about your… conditions here.” That was a nice way to put being held prisoner in your own home. “I wasn’t aware that you two had such a history.” I shouldn’t have even looked at him. All the emotion that I was trying to hide, he saw right through. The more I spoke, or acted, or looked, the more leverage he had against me. It was an impossible struggle.

“Don’t worry,” he leaned closer, his breath hot and putrid. There was nowhere for me to go. “I won’t kill him before I let him see you,” he snatched my face in his free hand, his grasp firm and unwavering. I felt the cool tip of a knife rest on my cheekbone. “He will see just how you’ve been holding up.” He dragged the knife agonizingly slow down the bare flesh, I was sure I would pass out. “And he will see all that I’ve done to you.”

I didn’t eat the stew until after he left. The chains rattled as I reached forward for it, slugging from the bowl like an animal. I didn’t like eating while he watched. Something about it felt… humiliating. Like he was watching one of his dogs rip someone apart after not feeding them for weeks, like he was proud of the way he had starved me. I was sure he was. I was sure he would love to see me eating like it was the last meal I’d ever indulge in.

***

Jon was outside the banquet hall, in the courtyard, slashing away at a dummy with his sword. The mead sloshed in their cups as I stepped toward him.

"I think you won," I commented once I got within earshot. He turned around, his face lighting up at my presence just enough for me to notice, causing my face to flush. "I smuggled you out a drink," I outstretched one of the cups, which he took while catching his breath.

"What am I missing in there?" Jon questioned, referring to the dinner party with the King and Queen, taking a slug from the cup.

"Well... the King is drunk, Sansa's gushing over Prince Joffrey, and Arya just got in trouble for catapulting food at her," I explained. Jon chuckled at the thought of it. "So nothing new, as far as our dinners go."

Jon went quiet, surprisingly. He'd tend to have a lot to say when I was around. His gaze was fixed on the cup, lost in thought.

"Is everything alright?" I asked. I've known him to be a bit upset about being forbidden from dinners, but he was usually better at hiding it.

"There's something I've been thinking about, that I want to tell you," he breathed out. "I'm taking the black. I leave the same day as the royal party with my Uncle Benjen." His eyes were on mine. I felt... conflicted. I was happy for him, I knew he'd do well up at Castle Black, given his bravery and swordsmanship. I knew that we all couldn't stay in Winterfell forever, that we were growing up. However, something in me hoped that wherever Jon would go, I could follow. The bastard and the Lady's maid.

"I'm happy for you." Truly, I was. I knew he'd always been worried about making something of himself. He would never have lands or a title, so it made sense he would seek to prove his worth through service to the realm.

"Thank you." There was a hint of sadness in his voice.

"From what I've heard I'll be going to King's Landing with Sansa. Serving as her handmaiden."

Jon hummed in response. He seemed to have the same reaction to my news as I had to his.

"I'll write to you," he commented. I didn't even bother trying to hide my growing smile.

"I'll write back."

***

The days were cold, but the nights felt colder. Ramsay sent in a Maester to treat the wound that he inflicted. I was no use to him dead, of course. It was sore to the touch. Through the small, barred window in the room, I could see that the sun was setting, as it did every night, and as it will continue to do well after I die in that place.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the throbbing pain in my face. It felt like it was on fire, which meant that my body was probably fighting an infection from the cut. Looking out my small window, the sunlight couldn't penetrate the clouds, leaving the sky a gloomy, milky gray.

Sometimes, when I was just waking up, I would forget where I was. I could open my eyes and be in King's Landing, with Sansa and Arya and Ned Stark. Or I could be waking up here in Winterfell, but in my own bed, in my own room, right across from Sansa's, how it used to be. Those moments were my favorite. When my mind was still fogged with sleep and I could swear that just yesterday I was reading in the Godswood with Jon. Sometimes I would see how long I could go before opening my eyes. It felt like when I did so, it cemented the pained reality of where I was, and who I was without. It's silly, really. No matter how hard I tried, I would still wake up surrounded by these four walls, in the same house that was no longer a home.

I must have dozed off again at some point, because the next time I rose I was awakened by the sounds of chaos outside. The window in my cell was far too high for me to see ground level out of, even if I wasn't chained. I had to use my hearing to discern what was happening.

The scrambling and shouting of soldiers, and a loud, rhythmic bang... bang... bang. It was coming from the front gate. Was... was it a siege? There was a shrieking of a creature that I couldn't name, and then more shouting and yelling, the clanging of swords. Then it stopped. I held my breath. It felt like ages until I could hear anything else.

Footsteps raced towards the door. I could hear muttering on the other side. There were two very different ideas of who could be coming to me at such a rush, one of which made bile rise in my throat.

"This has to be it, I know that he kept it locked and I remember it being by the kitchens," the sweet, feminine voice rushed out. I'd recognize her voice anywhere.

"Sansa?" My voice was hardly a whisper as I croaked out the name. I jumped when the door started shaking as though it was being kicked in. The chains clicked as I scrambled to stand up. Had they won? Was Winterfell back to the Starks? Was Jon here?

The door burst open and I locked eyes with the one who had been infiltrating my thoughts. He looked much more grown than I'd remembered. His dark, curly locks were pulled back with only a few strands in the front that had burst free. There were streaks on his face where dirt and blood had been haphazardly wiped away. Sansa engulfed me in a hug, pulling me in so tight I was sure she could tell just how little Ramsay was feeding me.

"I'm so sorry it took so long for us to get here, my escape wasn't planned, I would've never left without you if I'd known-"

"Sansa," I cut her off from her babbling, pulling back from the hug and holding her at arm's length. There were tears welling in her eyes, as well as mine. "It's okay, I'm okay." She let out a shaky breath, looking relieved I didn't resent her.

"Ramsay had the key on him." It took me a moment to realize what she was referring to, her and Jon's arrival had almost made me forget that I was still chained in the room. For the first time since she'd come in, she acknowledged Jon's presence by turning back towards him. He looked as though he'd just seen a ghost. To him, I guessed I might be one. He blinked a few times, seeming to snap out of his stupor and reached in his pocket, handing the rusty key over to Sansa. When the manacles fell with a clank to the floor, I felt like I could finally breathe. I rubbed the skin that was under them, it was red and irritated, which wasn't surprising.

"Are you hungry? I'll see what can be made.”

***

"It's for you." A boyish Jon stood at the foot of my bed, on unsteady feet, with a bowl of steaming soup in his hands. Even from the distance it smelled heavenly.

"You didn't have to, I was about to go to the kitchens," I complained, sitting up. Jon made his way around the bed, delicately placing the soup in my cold hands.

"Are you feeling any better?" I saw his hand start to move up as he asked the question, only to stop himself. Was he going to feel my forehead?

"A little," I lied, sipping from the side of the wooden bowl. The soup was hot and delicious; it had been prepared with herbs that were still growing outside. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me." He gave a small shrug but smiled anyway. "I'm just glad to see that you're eating again."

"Me too," I said, trying a spoonful this time. It was potato soup, my favorite. Had he known? Jon sat down next to me before continuing.

"I feel awful." I snapped my head up at his statement.

"Why? Are you feeling ill too?" I stammered, shifting under the furs. He chuckled through his nose.

"No," he sighed, "the stable hands warned me they were still training that horse, but I'd ridden her before and she was fine. I can't believe she threw you off like that, into the stream of all places." I had to suppress a smile, thinking back to the other day. Jon offered to teach me to ride a horse, as no one else would bother, and we'd spent the better part of a day out in the woods. It was the most fun I'd had in ages. Towards the end, my horse had gotten a bit fussy and, well…

Jon was quick to get my sopping wet figure back into the gates of Winterfell, but it wasn't quick enough to stop me from catching a cold. I truly didn't mind. Any time spent with Jon was valuable to me.

"Don't feel bad, it's part of learning... people fall. In streams, sometimes," I muttered towards the end.

Jon's face pulled into a smile at my comment. "Well, let's hope your second attempt at riding doesn't involve a broken bone or two."

***

Potato soup. I was sitting in front of a crackling fireplace, wrapped in furs, with a bowl of hot potato soup that conspicuously arrived. In that moment I wondered if I truly had passed away at Ramsay’s hand, if that was real, if I was just dreaming, still locked in the room.

I knew that I should eat, but the hollowness of my stomach made the food smell less than desirable. Sansa hadn't left my side since she'd unlocked the chains and brought me into the room, going on about the past few months. I hadn't said much.

"How do you feel? You’re quiet,” she bit her lip.

My throat hurt, it was dry. I swallowed hard, clearing it before answering.

“Okay. It's just so good to be warm." I had no idea how long I'd been cold. I often stayed balled up in that room, as tight as I could. I tucked my extremities into myself and dreamed of the sun. I took a breath and brought the bowl to my lips.

"Jon was shocked to hear you were still alive." I almost choked on the soup. Sansa smiled, one that looked devilish. "I knew you were close when we were younger, but I wasn't expecting him to react how he did," Sansa thought out loud.

"How did he react?" My curiosity got the best of me. I set the bowl down on the small table next to me.

"I'd told him soon after Brienne, Poddrick, and I arrived at Castle Black," I quirked my head at the names, but she was too consumed in her story to notice, "that you were still at Winterfell. He was furious, he wanted to come straight here, but I wouldn't let him." Sansa looked down, wringing her hands. "I convinced him to wait, to gather more men. Otherwise it would have been a slaughter."

I put my hands on hers, her glossed eyes met mine.

"You did the right thing," I reassured her. I knew she felt guilty for not getting here sooner, but she did what was best. I'd feel worse if they'd come sooner, and Ramsay's threats rang true.

"Rickon-" Sansa choked a sob, "h-he-"

I shushed her and put my arms around her shoulders. I'd seen some Winterfell men carrying his body through the gates on our way to this room. "I know," I whispered, shedding tears of my own. I didn't dare ask her how he died, I knew enough. That it was by Ramsay's hand, without a doubt.

We sat for a while longer, both comforted by the silence. The warmth of the fire and the contentment of the soup helped me relax. I realized that I'd been clenching my teeth, so I released them. I'd been in an awful lot of pain the past few months. The wound on my face would leave a plump scar, that I was sure of. Our silence was interrupted by a few maids entering with warm buckets of water for a bath. The mischievous smile on Sansa's face told me she had planned that. It wasn't until the maids had filled up the tub and left that I got the courage to ask the question that was lingering in my mind.

"Where's Jon? I haven't seen him since..." since I was freed from my cell? Since I saw him for the first time in years? Since he looked at me and his stare penetrated my being?

"I believe he's with some of the men of Winterfell, gathering up any survivors of Ramsay's men in the castle," she replied, giving me a look. She knew why I asked. I could only imagine what Jon was doing to Ramsay’s men "I'll leave you to it," she stood, her long furs flowing down to her ankles. It was then that I realized this room was intended to be mine. "I'm sure a bath is just what you need." I nodded in response, and she swiftly exited the room.

***

Jon hissed and pulled back slightly at the damp cloth I held against his temple.

"I have to clean it, Jon," I pleaded.

"I know," he breathed out. "It stings." I could see the pain in the way he scrunched up his face.

"I’m sorry." His eyebrows scrunched together at my apology, his eyes locked to mine. I could hear the wheels turning in his head.

Jon and I had a silent understanding of each other. While we had different reasons for being at Winterfell, we were both seen as slightly less-than the Stark children. Of course, I wasn't scolded by Catelyn nearly as much as Jon was. However, we were both instructed to stand behind the Stark's during the Royal family's arrival, never with them. While Jon was told not to attend the feast at all, I was tasked to stay at Sansa's side.

We noticed these differences, we saw them at a very young age, and we protected each other. We looked out for one another in an unspoken pact, that was shown by Jon walking me to my chambers late after the sun went down, and my defending him when Catelyn was always too harsh.

"Jon, I was fine. Those stable boys didn't cause me any harm."

"They were throwing cow shit at you," Jon blurted out. I had to suppress a grin, he was fuming.

"Well, they didn't have very good aim," I muttered. Jon returned his hardened gaze to the gloves that were clutched in his hand, he must not have found my comment very funny.

"Eddard and Catelyn will have an earful for you, you know. Especially Catelyn." He turned away from me.

"I know," he said quietly, "those boys didn't put up much of a fight," Jon pulled my hand down, and grasped it in his. "I'd do it again." My heart fluttered and I swallowed hard.

***

I recalled the memory in the bath. It was so vivid, his warm hand gripping my fingers, his eyes locked on mine and saw everything inside them. It was the first time he ever offered to defend me like that.

I had scrubbed myself too hard in the bath and opened the wound on my face. I stayed in the water until it turned murky and cold. I wanted to rid myself of every piece of Ramsay, though I knew it wouldn’t be possible. At least, not for a long time. My only motivation for exiting the bath was the small trickle of blood down my face. After drying off and dressing, I exited the chamber and made my way to what used to be Maester Luwin’s space. Surely, there would be a healer of some sorts there.

It was dark outside, the moon shone bright above. A chill breeze blew through the halls. I pulled my furs tighter against me and walked to the door, opening it. There was no one inside. The room was littered with medical supplies, my best guess was whatever Maester was here had been out tending to any wounded men from the battle. Though I'd patched up Arya's scrapes and scratches from playing too rough with Bran before. With the supplies here, I could fix myself up. It took me a moment of fumbling through the shelves and drawers to find a healing balm in a small wooden bowl. The smell of it reminded me of Maester Luwin. His hands were always covered in the minty salve.

The sound of footsteps coming down the hall startled me, and I nearly dropped the bowl. A soft knock sounded on the door, and I was almost certain I knew who it was. I didn't waste a moment, rushing to the door and opening it. Jon was standing in front of me, his dark hair smoothed back, the moonlight made shadows dance across his face. He wore a plain black tunic with his cloak over it. The air rushed from my lungs. It couldn't have been more than a few moments, standing there, gazing at each other. But I felt like I could spend the rest of my days looking into his warm brown eyes, and I would be content.

"You stopped writing back." There was a hint of amusement in his words, the type that only someone who'd known him well enough could pick up on. I did.

I didn't bother trying to hold back the smile and the tears as we engulfed each other. His arms felt strong and real. One of his hands held me at the back of my head, pulling me so close to him that there was no room for doubt. His breath felt warm on my neck, sending a dance of shivers down my back. I sniffled, holding onto him with every part of me. We stayed together like that for what seemed an eternity.

Finally, he broke our embrace, keeping his hand on the back of my head, holding it, holding me. "I've missed you."

My lips quivered when I spoke, unable to form the right words. "I... I've missed you too." There were so many things I wanted to tell him, so many stories and so many people that I'd met, but he looked at me so intently that words fell flat on my tongue.

He held my gaze and I was sure I'd burst into flames. "How are you?" he asked softly. "Are you hurt anywhere else besides there?" His calloused thumb brushed just below the cut on my face. By the gods, I must’ve been a thousand shades of red.

He'd gained a few new scars himself, his face was littered with them. The little nicks in his skin and the dark shadows of his face made him look so... mature. He was no longer the boy who's cheek I'd pecked before he left for the Night's Watch. "No," I said quietly, wringing my hands. "Nothing serious. Just cuts and bruises."

"That's serious," he started analyzing me, trying to find any, "it's you." I smiled again.

"Come here." He dropped his hand from me, closing the door behind him. I immediately missed the warmth he brought to my skin. I turned to follow him, and saw that he was already holding the bowl of salve. With feather light touches, he began to apply to the wound on my face. It stung at first, if only for a moment, but once the minty coolness took effect, I let out a breath of relief. I hadn't realized I closed my eyes until Jon placed his fingers under my chin, tilting my head sideways to get better access to the cut. When I opened them, they found his. The downward curve of his brow told me something.

"What's wrong?" I asked. My voice cracked a bit, and I cleared my throat.

Jon shook his head, leaning back against the wooden desk. His gaze fell to the floor. "I wanted to come sooner, but we didn't have the men," his soft brown eyes followed the curve of the wound down my face, "I'm sorry." For a moment, I thought I saw a wetness in his eyes.

A lump formed in my throat, and I swallowed hard. "For what? Winterfell is back to the Starks. You did what you had to do."

His expression softened. "I know," he said quietly, "I don't think I can thank you enough for keeping Sansa safe the past few years." He reached out to brush the hair away from my forehead, and I could feel the heat radiating off his hand. "She told me everything. About Joffrey, Baelish... Ramsey." He spat out the last name with venom as his jaw hardened.

"Is he...?" I didn't need to finish asking the question for Jon to understand.

"Sansa put him with his hounds. I don't imagine he'll be there much longer."

I knew exactly what that meant, and a breath of relief left me, one I never knew I was holding in. Though I'd felt relieved, I knew that it wasn't the end of Ramsay's torment. He would continue to haunt the darkest parts of my mind. I would continue to have nightmares where his touch was everywhere, and no matter what I did or said, I couldn't shake him off of me. I'd only experienced a fraction of what Sansa had from him. I couldn't imagine what she'd been going through. She was stronger than me, that I knew for certain. I made a mental note to talk to her about, at the very least let her know that I was willing to, if that was what she chose. Jon's warm hand on my arm pulled me from my thoughts. He was looking at me, expectantly.

"What?"

"I asked if you'd like me to walk you back to your room," his voice was laced with concern.

I tried not to show how his offer made my heart squeeze. I nodded. We walked side by side through the castle halls, silent except for the occasional murmur of voices drifting around us. Once or twice, we passed another person, but neither of us acknowledged their presence. The silence was nerve-wracking. It didn't take long before we reached my room, a small smile tugging at his lips. I stopped short outside the doors, turning to face him. He was right behind me.

"Was the potato soup any good?" Jon asked, and it took only a moment before it clicked in my head.

"That was you?"

"So it's still your favorite, I take it?"

"I-... yes."

Jon smiled and nodded his head slightly, stepping back. He was starting to leave. A burning ache ran deep inside me. I felt myself longing for him, although he was right in front of me. "Jon..." I paused. His presence was doing that thing again where it made it very hard for me to speak. I needed him to say something. Anything. So when he said nothing, I continued. "Would you... stay, for a little while? Please?" I finished lamely.

It was all the encouragement he needed to step forward and set his hands on either side of my face. His thumb rubbed along my cheekbone and up toward my hairline, making me shiver. His eyes flew back and forth between mine, looking for permission that he always had. He nodded delicately, pulling me in and pressing a kiss to my lips. It was so soft, so gentle, so tentative. But even that small moment made my stomach twist into knots and my knees go weak. I closed my eyes, savoring the feel of his lips on mine, letting the lingering feelings of the past few months melt away. It didn't matter that there was still so much to be said, so much to figure out and plan with the retaking of Winterfell. Things would melt into place, as I melted into him.

Ramsay had left his mark on me, literally and figuratively. And maybe he would continue to live in the parts of my mind that he clawed out space for, but Jon never needed to claim space for himself. He had it earlier when he kicked down the door to my cage, when he hugged me tightly goodbye the day he left for Castle Black, when he showed me that smile that always turned my insides to mush, and every time in between. All without having to ask for it. He was slowly filling it with warmth, with love. With life. So maybe Ramsay had some part of me, one that I may never get back... but those parts were all Jon’s, and I'd always treasure them.

As his lips moved against mine, I realized I’d made it.

I finally felt like I was home.

Tags: @pastanest @nyotamalfoy

#jon snow #jon snow x reader #jon snow fanfiction #jon snow imagine #got fanfiction #game of thrones #game of thrones fanfiction #game of thrones x reader #game of thrones imagine #asoif/got #asoaif

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dustylava · 2 years ago

Text

English is not my native language, so, i'm so sorry.

You're marrying the man you love, even despite his reputation. And this man, too, loves you very much. And after the official acquaintance, his mother, too, was imbued with tender feelings for you. And in the end, you have a possessive stalker-husband, who always finds out where you are, literally by smell, and his mama, who is your obsessive yandere, ready to follow you anywhere. Oh, and of course don't forget about the reproductive pressure on you from both sides. Your mother-in-law really wants grandchildren. Grandchildren, that you will carrying and give birth to.

These two will blow away dust motes from you. Your husband will kiss the ground you walked on. Your mother-in-law will give you anything you want. They will do anything for you, just be a good, decent wifey, do as they tell you. Your husband tells you not to look in the direction of those people - turn away from them, look at him, smile at him, purr to him, how wonderful he is, and your husband will melt in your hands. Your mother-in-law is calling you to her chambers, to discuss something - go to her, let her comb your hair, let her try on her jewelry on you, thank her, for giving you such a wonderful son, and your mother-in-law will be in heaven with happiness. Look at them with love and care, tell them, how happy and grateful you are, to become part of their family, and these two will unleash wars, arrange an apocalypse, they will reshape it, as you want, and put this world at your feet. You have no right to make a mistake.

They will love you forever, they will always take care of you, they adore you. They will always protect you. They are your family, and you don't need anyone else. Except for your future children, of course. Although they love you in different ways, but do not bring it to the point, that mother and son will start compete with each other for your attention and affection. It will be worse for you.

Forget the people from the past, they never loved you. Don't think about that pathetic, soulless and lonely life. Now, you have a family, that loves and appreciates you. The family, you've always deserved. And if, suddenly, one of the members of your real and only family will be harmful to you - leave it to mammy, treasure, she will sort everything out. You can't trust your husband with this kind of work, mammy will do everything herself!

Aemond Targaryen and Y/n, too, a Targaryen now: quarreling.

Alicent: doesn't know what's going on, but there is not a pleasant feeling, that something is wrong.

Aemond: accidentally says something hurtful and offensive.

Y/n: "oh... So, that's how it is... Very well, whatever you say, my husband..."

Aemond: "my soul... That's not, what I meant... It just happened to slip out of my mouth, please, wait!"

Y/n: upset.

Alicent: "Do you want me to stuff his face?"

Aemond: "mother..."

Alicent: "And you shut up! Scoundrel, how could you say such a thing, to this innocent treasure?! It's very treacherous!"

Oh, and don't be surprised, that one day, when you succumb to their persuasions. To their very insistent beliefs, and when you agree to take care of the creation of a child, you will see your mother-in-law sitting peacefully in an armchair, opposite your marital bed. With a soft smile and approval in her eyes, she will be sitting there. No-no, don't pay attention to her, don't get distracted. She just wants to make sure, everything is done right. Oh, don't be embarrassed, dear child, of course she trusts you two, just, please, understand, grandchildren, heirs are very important. Who better, than you, can give her and her son a beautiful, strong and healthy legacy. She's just so worried about you, what, if something goes wrong. And you, her dear son, don't be snide. You know, what is needed from you, so, come on - work, son.

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world0fmadness · 1 month ago

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MOON IN THE MIST

pelle “ dead ” ohlin x reader x ( platonic! ) oc children

♡ general headcanons for pelle as a boy dad!

୨୧ writing this reallyyy made me want to replay god of war but i literally just replayed god of war ragnarök like two months ago so i’m trying to hold off but dad! pelle and kratos would get along so well, i just know it… this work should be read as a continuation to far away <3

♡ requested by anon | related hc available here, here and here | view my metal masterlist here

reading music recommendations: krypta by wisielec - echoes of an old life by bear mccreary

♡ i think your second pregnancy with pelle would actually be just a little bit planned…

୨୧ not in the way that pelle really has a breeding kink though, more so in the way that whenever he saw your daughter playing by herself or not having many friends due to her macabre interests, so similar to her father, he just wants her to have a friend really bad, he knows loneliness more than anyone and he knows how hurtful it can be to be alone simply because your interests do not align with many others

♡ and what better way to give her a friend than to have another child with you? to give her a sibling when she’s still so young, only being a little older than a toddler!

୨୧ pelle himself grew up with siblings, he knows very well how special that sibling bond is and he actually really wants that for his daughter, he wants her to always have someone she can turn to outside of you and him, her parents…

♡ so pelle likely brought it up to you from time to time, albeit very shyly as he doesn’t quite know how to go about telling you he thinks having another child would be nice! but you understand him quickly, catching on to all of the hints and agree with him, much to his delight

୨୧ when you actually give birth to your son is where i can see some problems starting to arise, just some slight issues…

♡ pelle is so soft on your daughter and so openly loving towards her, always making sure she knows how much he adores her and now she can come to him whenever she needs to! with your daughter, pelle was very rarely afraid, maybe it was because she looks so much like you that he just saw you in her, saw your comforting smile and warm eyes

୨୧ but your son is just a double of pelle, inheriting almost all of his features and having close to none of yours! whenever pelle looks at him, he feels as if he’s looking directly into a mirror, looking at his younger self, right into the eyes of his former self who had no idea how dark his life would soon become in his teen and young adult years…

♡ that is what scares pelle, whenever he sees your son, he sees himself and all of the pain that was brought down upon him by forces that he couldn’t stop nor waver

୨୧ it’s the thought of your son growing up and going through those same things that he did which terrifies him, the thought of your son doing those same things he did in his darkest days just kills him

♡ i mean, this was already a slight fear with your daughter, he was fearful of her growing up and falling into a downward spiral but with your son? it’s even worse simply because of how much pelle sees himself in your son, anyone can see how much they look alike, it’s as if a mirror is reflecting an image of the past and present

୨୧ it’s those fears that makes pelle almost not want to interact with your son, he’s just so incredibly afraid of himself somehow tarnishing his innocence by simply being around him, as if holding him and loving him will curse him to a life of pain…

♡ it will take a little while for pelle to break out of this, only after so much assurance and love from you, only after you’ve told him to look at how amazing your daughter is turning out and only after you’ve told him how much your daughter so obviously loves her father is when pelle will become much more open to your son and luckily it is when your son is still very young

୨୧ it’s not as if pelle was ever cold or hateful towards your son before, he was just afraid and extremely cautious but he did love your son, he still loves your son, it’s just that now he feels like he can actually show it more and feel secure in it… he no longer feels like he is hurting his son by loving him

♡ as i mentioned in my post about this dynamic, the best representation or parallel for this family dynamic would likely be kratos, faye and atreus from god of war! pelle does love his son, more than anything, but he feels like he has to protect his son from himself, he has to protect his son from his own past self and the possibility of his son becoming like his old self when he grows up just scares him! he needs you to teach him how to open his heart to his son just as you taught him how to open his heart to his daughter, he needs to be assured that he is a changed man, a better man and an even greater father

୨୧ anyways, let’s move on from all that slightly angsty stuff now…

♡ pelle would absolutely adore seeing your two children playing together, always sitting or standing close by as to keep an eye on them due to your daughter being a little older and having a bit more strength than her brother

୨୧ he’s kind of a helicopter parent like that, he does not ever want them to get injured or upset, it just kills him inside although he does handle it really well when an accident does happen!

♡ he might be panicking really bad on the inside but he learns how to hide that from his children, even when he himself knows deep down that there’s no real reason to be panicking this much

୨୧ like when they get a slight scratch from playing in the nearby woods! pelle is so quick to yell over and ask them to come over to him so that he can check the small wound, his voice wavering slightly and he walks over to meet them halfway! all kinds of thoughts running through his head, really ridiculous thoughts about the possibility of it being a poisonous branch or other things… but he keeps all of his paranoia locked up and hidden from them, he knows that openly freaking out will only scare them and scaring his children is not what he ever wants to do at all

♡ he keeps all of those fears hidden and silent inside of his head until he comes back inside to see you, coming over with slightly wide eyes as he bursts into a quiet spew of words about how you both need to keep an eye on your child for the rest of the day in case they get a fever and how it’s all his fault that they even hurt themselves but you shut him up with a soft laugh before leaning up to pet his pale cheek and plant a gentle kiss on his lips, mumbling against them how small scratches are a part of childhood, how it’s not his fault at all and he needs to quit blaming himself for everything but he isn’t as quick to forgive himself…

“ yes, but… if i had been closer to them, or maybe i just shouldn’t have let them go into the wooded section, then they wouldn’t have… ” ( the most pelle ever talks is when it’s about his children, anything regarding them will usually cause him to ramble and go on for a while, almost always knocking the wind out of him and leaving him with heavy breaths )

୨୧ but seriously, pelle just cannot get enough of seeing your two children play together… every time he sees them running around the garden together, cuddling up on the couch and watching a cartoon together or even when they have a simple childish squabble over something small and stupid… it all just makes him smile, it makes a strong warmth overtake his heart, his mind becoming overwhelmed with memories of doing the same with his own siblings when he was a child, memories once buried and trapped under so much sadness and emptiness

♡ morning is now a favourite time for pelle, such a difference from a couple years ago when he was kind of a nothing person, he never really preferred any time of day because he never had much to look forward to… but now, he just loves the morning! mainly because he thinks you looks so beautiful in the morning, your hair slightly messy and frizzy, wearing only the clothes you find the most comfortable as you prepare breakfast for your children!

୨୧ whilst pelle used to stray away from much physical touch, now, he reaches for it! he enjoys holding your hips from behind as your prepare breakfast, slouching down slight to rest his chin atop your shoulder, turning his head slightly to pepper light kisses on your cheek and down your neck, smiling against your skin when you laugh softly and tilt your head back to press a deep kiss against his lips before you have to slightly push him away from the kiss to actually be able to finish breakfast, smiling back at him and telling him to go see his babies

♡ and that he does, he parts from you with a final lingering kiss on your head before he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room where your two children are sitting up on the couch, both in their fluffy pyjamas and hair as messy as yours whilst their eyes are glued to a cartoon playing on the tv… he smiles slightly as he approaches them before sitting on the couch in between them, both children perking up from their previously sleepy state when they set eyes on their father, immediately scooting over and going to cuddle into him as he wraps an arm around each of them and mumbles quietly

“ morning… you hungry? both of you, i hope… breakfast is nearly ready ” ( his voice is already quiet and soft but in the morning? even more so! it’s the perfect voice to hear in the morning, so soft spoken and gentle as he speaks to them, planting a soft kiss on each of their heads as they both fall back into a sleepy state curled up into his side )

୨୧ when your son gets a little older, he only begins to look even more like his father! his blue eyes shining even stronger with pigment and blonde hair growing brighter in the sun

♡ speaking of his hair, he absolutely wants to keep it long, just like his father! you mentioned maybe giving him a haircut once and he almost threw a tantrum, he would have thrown a tantrum if pelle wasn’t there to soothe him and assure him you wouldn’t cut all of his hair off… all whilst your daughter was giggling up a storm behind him because of how whiny her brother was being, only causing pelle to crack a small smile at the sound of her high pitched laughter

୨୧ the fact of pelle being able to stop tantrums is something that runs a lot deeper than just that though…

♡ your son very quickly became a major daddy’s boy and absolutely loves pelle, they form an extremely strong father - son bond, pelle overcoming all of his fears he had and having the most immensely loving relationship with your son, pelle is usually the only person who can ever soothe your son when he’s upset or angry, neither of you really know why or how, the two of them just clicked so deeply and have such an unbreakable soul bond

୨୧ pelle absolutely loves making your children little pieces of jewellery and knick knacks out of animal bones! obviously he makes sure to clean them super well before giving it to them… but things like little necklaces or bracelets? he could make them all day, making matching ones for you and the children, maybe making himself one too

♡ not to mention if your children ever really get into drawing? likely influenced by always seeing him drawing and doodling in his sketchbook, just wanting to do something that their father also does and so obviously loves, his children are basically his shadow, they want to do everything they see him doing which never fails to make you laugh as you watch their wide and curios eyes watch him

୨୧ and he will gladly teach them both how to draw! he doesn’t think he’s the greatest teacher but as you watch him take them both onto his lap, steadying one of his children on each knee as he slightly bounces his knees to create a soothing rhythm, talking quietly down to them as he teaches them one at a time, his pale hand coming down to hold and guide their much smaller one, showing them how to hold the pencil properly and how to create shading, all whilst his children are just beaming as they spend time with him and pelle has a small smile of his on his face… yeah, you beg to differ about him thinking he isn’t a beyond great teacher

♡ pelle just still can’t really believe that he, of all people, has a family let alone two children who only ever see a side of him that no one else does, pelle might not be perfect but he has two children with the love of his life, two children who actually want to be like him when they grow up, two children who only see him for what he truly is and that alone is what makes life worth living for pelle… just you and his babies <3

#requested ✩#pelle ohlin x reader #dead x reader #mayhem x reader #mayhem headcanons #lords of chaos x reader #lords of chaos headcanons #loc x reader #loc headcanons #fluff headcanons #headcanons

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malaierba · 4 months ago

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Man I love sibling dynamics so much though.

Fully just projecting what I like to read, but it would be incredible if, inspired by the Touden, Toshiro arrived at his house with a newfound determination to improve his relationship with his siblings.

Which has, of course, mixed results.

(ended up blabbing about what I think their relationship is like and what it would be like if Toshiro came back with the crazy idea in his head of, hey, let's be actual brothers)

Basically I think Toshiyuki doesn't get it and fights it every step of the way. Can see him having some weird unsolved frustrations towards Toshiro? There's the one (1) silly comic we have on him, "how come my big brother gets a team of all sexy women he doesn't even enjoy it" (paraphrasing hard), which to me reads like... Okay so he can read Toshiro kind of well? But he doesn't understand him in the slightest.

Which is INCREDIBLE.

I think Toshiyuki is in a very particular position in his family. There's a 13 year age gap if I'm not wrong, kind of big, isn't it? I've seen it theorised that maybe the Nakamoto parents kept having babies die after birth, an idea supported by the fact that Toshiro was canonically a sickly child.

When I learned about his brothers and their ages though, and how dismissive Toshiro's dad is of them, how he calls all of them dull... How at age 26 Toshiro is still unmarried and isn't being pressured to marry (To be fair this could be a rare sympathetic decision from Toshitsugu. Maybe he wanted to marry Maizuru but couldn't, so instead he's giving his children the liberty of marrying who they want whenever they want).

To be honest? What I thought was: ah, so Toshitsugu married his actual wife over Maizuru likely because it was a marriage of convenience. Originally he only wanted a kid out of the union so he'd take over the household eventually, but then Toshiro turned out all sickly and soft and introverted, so eventually he was like, FINE, we need a backup inheritor.

Which, man, sucks for Toshiro AND Toshiyuki. I mean, Toshiro is 26!!!! You'd think it wouldn't be a contest! But they're literally making him prove himself against his siblings who are 13 and 11??? That sends a very clear message to me, and it's not one of trust.

Anyway. I think that'd make Toshiyuki a bit... Weird about his brother. Aware that he's messing up somehow, but also he's so strong and adult, literally has 13 years of experience on him. Like he's living on his shadow, but also is expected to step out of it.

Middle sibling complex? No way, something worse. Back up eldest sibling. Made especially evident by the fact that when Ryoko Kui introduces the relationship of the Nakamoto siblings she says there's "a weird distance between Toshiro and them".

I can see Toshiyuki having more experience being an older brother to Toshizane than Toshiro. Better? Not sure...? But, he probably was there for him more. Probably even trained with him

Which is FUNNY because I get THE SOFTEST OF VIBES FROM TOSHIZANE. I don't wanna say "Toshiro 2.0" but??

Look at his little face. Compare it to Toshiyuki, then to baby Toshiro.

Filial resentment my beloved. This would be one of the first actions that Toshiro takes without being ordered or promoted by someone else, which would both be meaningful and BIZARRE to Toshiyuki.

Oh, I hope they have an argument lol. Or at least that Toshiyuki gets to yell about how things are from his perspective.

Anyways, with that in mind, I think Toshiro would have an easier time bonding with Toshizane. Again, wistful thinking, but if he really has that same softness that Toshiro had... And if he's around someone like Toshiyuki, who probably can't relate and is probably being too Toshizane like how Hien was to Toshiro:

You know, "toughen up", well meaning advice, they ARE in the family's shady, shady business. But, it likely did cause a wedge between Toshiro and Hien eventually, him not knowing how to deal with her bluntness so instead he distances himself.

That, plus the fact that one of the main things that attracted him to Falin was realising that she was an adult that had managed to hold onto her childhood softness and oddity...

Yeah, I think that if he noticed history potentially repeating itself in Toshizane he'd think about intervening. And since this imagine is about Toshiro going back home, committing to being more proactive, then in this story he does reach out, tries to be the adult he would've liked to have in his life for his baby brother

Which of course! May annoy Toshiyuki! Why is Toshizane picking sides like that!? (He's not) Are you trying to steal him, Toshiro!!?!? (He's not!)

Anyway, fun fun fun.

#THIS GOT LONG is this anything #dungeon meshi #dunmesh rambles #nakamoto siblings #toshiro nakamoto #Toshiyuki Nakamoto #Toshizane Nakamoto

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theremina · 2 years ago

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Adoption causes way more intergenerational trauma and collective health crises than I think many "kept" people realize.

If you bother to read it, the science is clear: adoption is violently traumatic, causing devastating, irreversible health issues for millions of human beings. Yet I'd have more luck conveying the severity and longevity of my own trauma to most non-adoptees with "I was dropped on my head as a baby."

Heck, I didn't begin to contend with the horrors of my own situation until my mid forties. Being yeeted directly after birth into foster care and eventually adopted by lovely, well-intentioned folks who were not prepared *at all* to help me deal with the lifelong neurodevelopmental disorders and physical health problems directly caused by my abandonment at birth has permanently damaged me. I'm saying so as one of the "lucky ones".

I adore my adoptive family. They're incredible parents. We love each other dearly. This doesn't change the fact, not for one second, that I wouldn't wish adoption on ANYBODY. Thankfully, my folks understand this. I wish more adoptive parents did.

The modern adoption industry* is, by design, deeply misogynistic, racist, transactional, ableist, imperialist, colonial. Ignorance and hate and apathy and coercion and subjugation and dehumanization and capitalism keep the machine running.

We're already seeing the beginning of Baby Scoop Too: Electric Boogaloo on Facebook. On Twitter. On Instagram. On other social media platforms owned and controlled by obscenely wealthy white men who don't consider private adoptions to be unethical.

You may *think* that legalized human trafficking doesn't really effect you, but soon, if the Christofascists continue their cultural blitzkrieg, the amount of infants and children who end up in the foster care system, adopted by unqualified people, in devastating private "rehoming" situations like the one shared above, or worse, is gonna SKYROCKET.

So...I'm barely on Facebook anymore for a few different reasons. One of them is that I couldn't handle watching a whole bunch of ignorant self-proclaimed feminists making shitty adoption jokes after Roe was overturned.

Another reason is that Facebook is LITERALLY A BABY MARKET.

ADOPTIVE PARENTS ARE BUYING AND SELLING CHILDREN ON FACEBOOK. WHAT THE ACTUAL UNFORTUNATE FUCK.

Nearly 100 million American families are in the adoption triad, with a majority of adoptees' needs and voices being considered last instead of first. It's so backwards.

Non-kinship adoption is a systemic violence that cannot help but touch the lives of billions. That is so very, very bad for ALL of us, not just abandoned infants and children or their struggling parents.

Some straightforward response questions for every person who has ever asked me about about my adoption:

Are you a feminist? Are you antiracist? Are you a humanitarian? Anti-ableist? Do you consider yourself lefty, liberal, or otherwise progressive? Do you respect science? Then please reevaluate your perceptions of adoption.

For every adoptive or bio parent you listen to, listen to three or more adoptees. For every shitty adoption "joke" you've ever told, check in with an adoptee (or first mom) in a kind and caring way. For every ignorant question you've ever asked an adoptee about our "real parents", crack a book!

Please. Do some research. Learn. Please. Center transracial adoptees, international adoptees, disabled adoptees, queer adoptees. Please. This stuff impacts all of us just as surely as countless other aspects of systemic rape culture do. Try to understand. Please.

I'm more certain than ever that we must abolish before we can rebuild.

Please give a shit. Please.

*The fact that adoption is an industry at all should shock and horrify us all, and yet... ¯\_(��)_/¯

[image description: a screenshot of a Facebook post with a black border and caption reading, “Welcome to America, where people try to regime adopted children on Facebook Marketplace.” The Facebook post itself reads, “So basically they either want him to come back home, or have CPS place him in a foster home. Or I can find someone willing to take him in, and ‘under the table’ pay them the stipend, we get. If CPS places him they will have to have an open case against me. In doing that I will lose my job. I cannot work at a daycare, school, group home etc. if I have an open active CPS case against me. How the hell do I go about ‘re-homing’ my child? Should I create a post in market place? Through no fault of our own, we are being forced to re-home our thirteen year old son. He can be the most loving, helpful young man. He does suffer some learning difficulties. He comes with a complete wardrobe and a monthly allotment. Only serious inquiries please.” End id]

#karpoozy #adoptee #adoption is violence #adoption is annihilation #adoption is racist #adoption is sexist #adoption = imperialism #adoptee voices #adoption is legal human trafficking #cw rape culture

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sonnetsoncanvas · 2 years ago

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Mess it up : pt 3

Summary: Years ago he had let you go for your own good. But this time, he isn’t sure he can

Part of the Mess it up series

Pairing: brother’s best friend rock star Bucky x fem reader (Steve’s sister) (dual pov)

Warnings: modern AU, angst, second chance, eventual smut, brothers best friend trope, implied cheating, self-deprecation, happy ending?

Inspired by: Mess it up by Gracie Abrams

Notes: This is the first time a fic has made its way from my laptop to the internet. So please be kind and do leave your feedback. Happy reading!

Chapter 3: I keep thinking maybe if you let me back in

Reader POV

Life was not fair. Never was to you. But that never seemed to faze you. if anything, that made you more resilient. Unafraid. Unbothered. Living in that small, noisy Brooklyn apartment, with a mother who worked herself to death trying to provide her children with a good life, a brother, the literal personification of sunshine, being picked on and bullied, tending to his bruises when he thought nobody’s looking.

It made you realise that the world is a dangerous place. It eats up those who stand unprepared. And so, you steeled yourself. Made yourself the most fearsome creature to behold in any room you entered. Your biting wit, your sass, you sharp intellect made you attractive to some, unappealing to many and untouchable to all.

There was only one who dared to play with the fireball that was Y/N Rogers. Only one for whom your guards went down. After all, if Steve trusted Bucky with his life, you could trust him with your heart. Right?

Turns out you couldn’t.

“This was supposed to be a temporary thing” he’d said.

“Do you really think I’m gonna take you home to my mother ? tell her you are what I want the Barnes legacy to continue with?” he’d sneered.

“Its time you go back to your dreams, and let me get on with mine.” He’d offered.

You never should have.

Bucky POV

Life was hilarious. Or at least it started seeming that way after years of neglect. He had everything a child could’ve wanted. All the toys in the world, the most expensive apparel, all the amenities a person could dream of. But the one thing he lacked was love. Pure genuine love.

His mother, The Winnifred Barnes of the upper east side, knew how to give birth to heirs, but did not have a clue about raising a child. Growing up in that negligent household, amongst people who were nefarious for being social climbers and gold diggers, little James soon realized that the only worth he has comes attached to his name. that no one would care for him if it weren’t for his billions.

But he was proved wrong when he met a lanky blond boy of Brooklyn at the music camp. It was there he shed the expensive cloak of James Buchanan Barnes and donned the dirty sneakers of Bucky. It was through Steve he recognised his own significance, that he could be something more than the well-groomed showpiece his family was expecting him to be.

And then he met you.

And it felt as if all his prayers had been answered.

You weren’t like Steve, not one bit. You were this fiery, self-assured human who could scorch the world with her brilliance. Unlike Steve, you were pragmatic. Unlike Bucky, you knew who you were and where you wanted to be.

And he fell for you. hard.

He borrowed some of your bravery, some of your light, and formed the Avengers with Steve, Sam and Wanda. He wanted to make something of himself to deserve you. to earn the jackpot that was your love.

However, for bucky, it seems happiness is always a temporary tryst. He tends to forget that.

Skiing was his passion. One of the many trappings of his privileged life that actually he enjoyed. It was the same passion that completely changed Bucky’s life. But unlike you, for the worse.

It was his own fault. No one else to be blamed. Had he heeded the weather warning, he wouldn’t be on that slope. he wouldn’t have been caught in that blizzard. He wouldn’t have lost his left arm.

When he regained his consciousness, the first face he saw was yours, streaked with tears, anguish in eyes.

You came there every day, sometimes under the pretence of dropping something for Steve, who refused to leave him alone, sometimes to fill in for his absence. The better bucky got, the more hopeful your eyes grew.

You’d altered everything to fit Bucky’s schedule. You worked late nights so that you could visit him in evenings after school, stopped going out with your friends to be with him instead. There were times you pulled an all nighter just so you could turn in your assignments on time.

He saw it all. The dark circles beneath your eyes, your tired face, the endless cups of coffee. It should’ve pained him, but the thought that you were there, to love him, to hold him, brought endless solace. and so he selfishly held on to you.

Until one day, Steve told him about your college acceptance letters.

“She got into Harvard Bucky! My baby girl in Harvard. Just think about that.” A hint of pride glimmered under his annoyance, “But she refuses to go. Says she cant leave Ma and I alone.”

“what ?!” Bucky had asked, guilt gnawing at him

“I mean Columbia is a decent school, but Harvard law?! It doesn’t get better than that. How far is Boston anyway?...”

Steve’s voice blended into the voices in Bucky’s brain. He knew the real reason behind your hesitation to go to Harvard was him. He remembered how excited you were when your adviser had confidently proclaimed that she is Harvard material.

And you were willing to let that go. For him.

Instead of joy, Bucky felt trepidation. Fear. Was this love? Or pity? Is this how the rest of your lives will be? You leaving things you love for his sake? And how long before you resent him? Hate him for all the opportunities you’d let go of for him?

How could he ever live with himself, knowing he was the anchor that was holding you back?

Bucky had resigned himself to live his life with his situation, but you didn’t have to. You , perfect in every way, intelligent, so beautiful that his heart ached.you should be with some one who deserved you. not him. Never him.

And so James Buchanan Barnes did something that was somehow more painful than ripping his heart out.

He let you go.

Reader POV

you woke up with a heavy head. It felt a lot like jet lag, except that it wasn’t. one did not get headaches by travelling from Boston to New York. One did, however get headaches after crying all night. Which was what you did last night.

It was embarrassing. Pathetic even. You thought you were over him, and all that it took was one glimpse of his to mess you up. You had a Suma cum laude from the most prestigious law schools in the world, scored job offers from the most esteemed firms, made grown men cower in front of in courtrooms, and yet, were drowning in a puddle of tears over a high school boyfriend.

To be fair though, your only boyfriend. After he dumped you, you swore off men, while he went on an array of affairs with so many women you lost count of it. The tabloids had always had a sweet spot for him. “The heartbreak prince” indeed. Its only that the prince did the heart breaking, not the other way round.

You ambled out of the bed and cleaned up. It was hours before your usual time, but well, its not as if you’re getting any sleep now, is it? Its better to get some coffee for your pounding head. Your interview was tomorrow thank heavens. There was no way you could’ve done it today.

A clattering of utensils startled you. there’s no way Steve was up this early. Your confusion was immediately clarified as you came across the very bane of your existence hunched in the kitchen.

You tried to turn back and leave as noiselessly as you could. You cannot endure this so early in the morning. You’d rather go out to get coffee, there must be some place open at the ungodly hour. Its New York after all.

He turned that very instant, as if he could sense you. his beautiful blue eyes widened as he took you in, as dishevelled and disoriented as you were. After a long minute he shifted his gaze from your face, looking everywhere but in your direction.

You were beginning to suspect that God was punishing you for all your years of antagonism.

“I was about to leave.”

His voice, his goddamn voice. Your heart had always been ready to race out of your chest and beat to the rhythm of his speech. It was ready to do that now.

Had human beings been able to survive without a heart, you would’ve had yours surgically removed ages ago. Stupid, bloody organ always getting you in trouble.

a wave of guilt hit you as he started for the exit. He had done the same yesterday, leaving moment you guys entered, Sam dragging him away to help him do something you don’t recall. He returned after you went to bed, whenever that was. And now this. It felt wrong that he was uncomfortable in his home. It wasn’t his fault that you weren’t over what he called “a seasonal distraction”.

“stay” you rasped; your voice too low to be heard. You tried again. “Stay, James.”

He stilled. Stood frozen on the threshold long enough for you to wonder if he’d fallen asleep standing up. And then he turned. His eyes full of something you were scared to decipher. The silence was too oppressive, even for you.

“we both know this would happen. We’re both adults, we can co inhabit a space without it imploding” your head was about to implode though, and not from the headache.

“yeah, right. Youre right.” He mumbled, still sticking by the door, which was a good thing because you needed coffee, and you were sure you couldn’t function properly with him in close proximity.

You turned towards the fancy coffee maker, which was far more advanced than the old spluttering relic that you had in your dorm. You fiddled with the buttons, trying to get it to work.

“here, let me.” He said, the low raspy baritone that made you shiver. You hoped he thought it was the morning chill.

He skirted around you to get to the counter, and yet his subtle smell plagued your senses. He turned the shiny knobs easily with his right arm, putting in a new filter and placing a cup near the nozzle.

“you still take your coffee black?”

The question, innocent at its core, jarred you. your ex remembering a small detail about your from years ago was not on your bingo card, but there you are.

“uh I umm, yes.” You internally cringed at the fact that you, the mock trial champion, was stuttering. He nodded slightly and continued.

“How can anyone like something like this?!” he gagged, sliding your cup over to you.

“that’s what you get for taking a sip without my permission Barnes.” You smirked, snuggling in his outstretched arms, ready to resume his favourite movie that you honestly didn’t understand. All you cared for was spending time with him, even if it was hidden in his apartment.

“Atleast add sugar to it doll. Its too damn bitter.” He coughed.

“I like it bitter.”

You jerked at the small beep from the machine. Your eyes involuntarily went to his, only to recognise the same surprise there, as if this conversation took him to some other. the very thought of it gave you hope, and hope, you’ve realised over the years, is the most dangerous thing.

You hastily grabbed the cup, too eager to end this interaction. His presence was triggering emotions you have avoided for too long.

In your hurry you toppled the cup over, its blistering hot content pouring out. But before you could feel the burn, a shiny metal gripped your wrist and tugged you away. You staggered and stumbled forwards, bumping into his chest.

It was you who froze this time. too incapacitated by his smell, his body, him to move. You felt him draw in deep breaths, his heartbeat audibly speeding up. you stayed there for god knows how long.

It was he who withdrew. Because of course it was. You regained your composure and jumped back, frightened by the comfort that had washed over you in that moment.

“Thank you.” you gasped, and bolted out of the room right that instant.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagines #bucky angst #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky headcanon #bucky imagine #bucky smut #bucky x female reader #steve and bucky #bucky x reader #bucky barns #bucky fluff #fanfic #avengers fandom

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kerubimcrepin · 10 months ago

Text

Episode 26 - A Hairy Mystery

TW: Discussions of in-universe false allegations of S.A. towards animals and/or children. Discussions of addictions, and what might be actual S.A.

This episode is a doozy, both canonically and due to the analysis I conduct.

From the first seconds of the episode, we can note one very important detail:

The episode's narration is not censored by Kerubim, as is usually the case, but filtered through Joris's very limited understanding of sexuality and other adult things, and metaphors alluding to those.

Which results in this being a very dark episode in every single way possible and kinda batshit insane, when thought about for too much.

This is the same house as the one we'll see in Episode 50, Deadly Charm.

During Episode 50's time, the two of them share this house. This may suggest that the two episodes happen relatively closely, timeline-wise. It would make sense, considering the fact that in both of these episodes, Lou investigates crimes.

This investigation sounds like how long a war that would result in the birth of a very cool huppermage would last.

This episode will be hellish to translate... First of all: all the little text on these images? Just gibberish. Also, it's the same gibberish copypasted in all the newspapers.

However, we have some juicy stuff in the big text blocks: real text, with more context for the ep, besides what we see through Joris's ~imagination~

Big text on the top:

"LITTLE CAT (??? something something)

LITTLE CAT WHO DRANK MILK WAS NICE, FRIENDLY AND WELL-BEHAVED, WHICH DOESN'T/DIDN'T---

THIS BY PUTTING LAXATIVE IN THE BOWL OF HIS SWEET SELF"

Big text on the bottom:

"HE LOOKS LIKE A BEANPOLE(???) -----------UN"

Firstly: the newspaper name says "BOTA" instead of "BONTA"... Not even a spare letter "N" for the starving public?

The text on the left is, for some reason, upside down, and the letter N is in my transcription only because it makes more sense than W. What is says is: "EST U(N)E FIOTTE"

Translation: Someone (a female judging by "une") is (I am about to quote google here) "a homophobic(?) swear word for men(??)."

I'm sure someone in Ankama was very giddy to have snuck this in, but god, I wish I knew what this really means.

Don't worry. There are worse hidden texts in this episode... Like this next one.

I guess that what Kerubim is accused of is. Uh. not... literally eating a cat. It's something... different. Or eating the cat and also doing other things to the cat. hm.

I guess for Ecaflips, doing this to a cat, is not just an animal thing but also uh. a kid thing.

...Idk if I ever wanted to know this much about the World of Twelve. Man.

To pause from the insanity of this episode so far, I want to point out, that, both here, and in the episode 50, which we had established, takes place close to this one, Kerubim and Lou are very close to marriage/consider each other fiancés (in episode 50, she is referred to as his wife, despite them not being married).

So... I am assuming both of them take place before Ecaflip City! We're making some real discoveries here, folks.

This episode was funnier before I knew this was Kerubim's twitter callout arc. Now it's just sad.·😭

Also, in a better circumstance, I would comment on how cute it is that Kerubim says he likes cats (or babies, considering that for ecaflips... yeah. man. this episode is making me say insane things.) that much.

No wonder he's going fucking insane.

The first one is a reused text asset from the first episodes that says "MAISON DE NERUBIM CREPIN". What she is writing seems to be "RMCP"

The second one is, uh. Yeah.

Judging by the paintings, I suppose this episode takes place after Vax's Art (ep10) and Bashi the Shark (ep7).

I know these are just reused assets, but also — it's Ankama's own fault that they gave me this to do theorizing with.

Jesus fucking Christ, here we go. Twenty pages of analysis incoming:

He had a very interesting evening. Getting drunk (as usual), gambling (as usual)...

But having a woman "ride" him, while being very, very drunk, too — is this also, in fact, usual? Hopefully, it was a literal riding, horse-style.

Judging from Lou's phrasing and reaction, as well as this episode's whole thing so far, it was probably not.

Which is... not good at all. Yeah.

We'll never truly know, with Joris's unreliable narration in this episode. But I am sad to report, that I don't think it would be out of character for Kerubim to... have these things happen to him, and be okay with that.

And it's in-character for Lou to view Kerubim's habits of getting drunk and gambling everything away, while having ambiguously-nonconsensual (on his side) relations with women, as punishable evils on his part, good old "shit boyfriend" behaviours.

Instead of, y'know, self-destruction.

...Okay, I think I am ready to present something to you, so here's a refresher for my earlier liveblogs, in the form of the six tenets of theorizing about their final break up we established:

She left sad, and unlike many other times, without any anger for Kerubim.

She left Luis with him to watch over him.

She also left Luis because he couldn’t go with her, but that could mean many things.

She left after Ecaflip City, obviously, and at that time, their relationship seemed the healthiest. (Well, as healthy as it could be.)

Unlike all the other times, Kerubim didn’t go searching for her. It seems this separation was final in a way no other was, and there had to be a reason that he didn’t go and try to make up. An unsolvable issue.

Both Luis and Kerubim blame Kerubim, and the first one uses this to make the second one angry.

I think it's time to make to finally reveal my Divorce Theory:

I think Lou left Kerubim after regaining her memories, and realizing that they're just bad for each other.

She often manipulated him using his insecurities and fears of abandonment, which are the result of his childhood traumas. She hit him, and disregarded, or at times exacerbated, his various mental health issues.

While he has cheated on her many times while being completely sober, without any regard for her personhood and feelings. He's gambled away her memories.

Yes, they loved each other, but they were horrible together.

And I think it's a very sad realization to have about someone you've been in love with for your whole life:

That all you've ever managed to do is hurt each other, and make things worse.

...Now that I'm done with sad divorce theories, let's finish up this episode.

The newspaper that shows miss Kitty behind bars, has all the same text as the newspaper where Kerubim is behind bars, so I won't include it, but this?

This has a plot twist:

"EM ILIE EST U(N)E FIOTTE"

...Emilie, if you're out there: years ago, in Dofus: Aux Trésors de Kerubim, someone called you a bad word.

And I hope it was a joke and not some office drama. I really do hope so.

...My reaction to this whole fucking episode, Keke.

My exact reaction to all of it.

This is the face of a parent who knows that he will have to assess the damage. A second plane has hit the fucking pentagon level damage.

The "will he be asking me what "riding" means now?" "will he be asking me why "you ate a kitten" allegations got me into prison?" level damage.

Actual nightmare.

#ep26 #ro liveblogs dofus #dofus #wakfu #krosmoz #kerubim crepin

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quitealotofsodapop · 1 year ago

Note

[Good chance of them being; the cutest things in the entire multiverse ever, much better than the fruit twins; according to Dawn.]

Oi, them be fighting words. If Dawn's not careful, he gonna end up looking like Eben Byers otherwise.

[Canon!SWK/Dawn is just sobbing from the cuteness of their daughters. He def ranks them higher on the cuteness ladder than any of the au! kiddos.]

Like, the other SWKs get it, they too find their own kiddos the cutest amongst the cubs, but still - "Oh, put them up, buttercup!"

[Jackpotshipping is unlikely. .. Unless they find another freebie in the trash .. Street orphans are negotiable.]

Ace coming to visit one day and leaves with a new kid he found in Megapolis, calling 'dibs' XD

[Canon!Red: "It will keep our parents off of our backs regarding children at least. For at least for a few months."]

Hehe!

A few months later, in the restaurant, MK and Red are sort-of being cornered and asked about the future kids, only for SWK bust through the door, an absolute manic grin on his face, tail wagging at speeds comparable to a jet engine, while holding Macaque in a bridal carry.

There is no sight of the nimbus, so the group wonders if he ran here...

"We're pregnant!" SWK announces, before backpedaling, "Well, not 'we', not like our alts, but we are, well, Mac is, ugh, I helped!"

"Give him a minute. He is so excited he left his brain back on Flower Fruit Mountain." Macaque laughs softly at that.

So much excited screeching incoming.

And relief, from Spicynoodles now that the group's attention is diverted again.

Even if Canon PIF and Mac are not more than begrudging allies, I could see them looking up things for the babies, for the former to see what's new and useful for rearing children since she now knows what needs to be done to make more.

Though, the best advice must come from those who have raised multiple kids by now:

"Color code everything!"

"Huh?"

"Kids will argue about what belongs to whom. Especially twins - and triplets. Color coding saves your sanity. Can't argue the teddy bear is yours if it has a bandana of your siblings color, right?"

"Also, just because you're craving it, don't nonstop indulge. The weight makes the birth worse."

"What do you mean by that?" Gets shown the image of the Nodelets after birth, "Holy shit, she's huge!"

referencing posts about the Canon LMK Shadowpeach having kids in the Wukongverse.

["Give him a minute. He is so excited he left his brain back on Flower Fruit Mountain."]

Ok thats gotta be my favorite way to describe how Wukong reacts to such good news. I love the mental imagery of his tail going at the speed of a helicopter rotor as he tries to figure out how to announce it to the gang. Canon MK is def the first to start crying with proxy happiness.

[Though, the best advice must come from those who have raised multiple kids by now]

Aww, I love the thought of the other parent LEMs giving Canon!Macaque/Dusk baby advice. Like a moms club.

And ofc Plum using Yuebei's baby photo as a warning not to indulge. He jokes that the little girl "needed her own room" or else neither he nor Peach would have been able to move from the baby weight. Dusk shudders at the thought.

Liang tells horror stories of the 5 stone-fruit monkeys fighting over whos things are whos. Colour co-ordination is such a must to avoid in-fighting.

Zhanshi has softer advice on how to take care of a smaller/weaker baby (Xiaoyun hatched prematurely). And Olive just says "You are gonna feel like crap sometimes. Its normal."

Meanwhile in the next room, Canon!SWK/Dawn is getting roasted by the whole SWK gang for his worrying + his brain stuttering from happiness.

[Oi, them be fighting words]

I can imagine all the other SWKs letting Dawn have his moment of new-dad-pride when the twins are actually born, but you know the fists and staffs are flying the second Dawn tries saying his kids are the cutest of the whole multiverse. Smokey argues for Xiao Qi, whos so cute he literally heals the world. Dasheng in turn argues for Xiaoyun, his scrappy little cloud. Cherry is then like "nope, you're all wrong. your babies can't out-cute my pebble army."

Its worse than the time the other DBKs met and went full soccer-dad on eachother.

The LEMs come back only to see the living room completely destroyed. Someone has been tosed through a screen door. The table has been broken in half.

Only the ones that stayed out of it are the SWKs who don't have any kids + Ace ( s laughing up a storm).

Plum: "What in buddha's name happened here!?" Peach: "A matter of pride. Dawn tried saying his kids are cuter than ours." Plum: "...thats dumb. You know babies look ugly as frick to anyone not the parents. Simple biology." The Other SWKS, regaining conciousness: "Huh?" Plum: "Observe. I was just showing the other Macs a certain newborn photo of Yuebei. Does this look like a cute baby to you?" The Other SWKs: *looks at photo* Photo: *newborn Yuebei being weighed on a kitchen scale. Her face is super wrinkly, and her fur is really wispy and wet-looking. Looks like a little angry gremlin. Her smaller brothers are right next to her in the bassinet.* Smokey: "Sweet buddha..." Cherry: "Thats a HUGE baby!" Dasheng: "...did you say newborn!?" Plum: "Yup. Why did you think I warned Dusk not to give into cheese cravings?" Dawn: "I thought that was just photoshop..."

The argument is immediately forgotten, as now the SWKs are just glad that they didn't get a mega-sized 9-pound potato baby. Its all in good fun though, as Plum and Peach consider Yuebei to be their little ice lily.

#wukongverse #pregnancy tw #lego monkie kid #lmk #lmk shadowpeach au #shadowpeach #the monkey king and the infant #the monkey king and the infant au #lmk fan children #jttw inspo fan children #jttw inspo ocs

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neos-schlond-poofa · 8 months ago

Text

MY MCD HEADCANONS FOR THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY

i need to post SOMETHING to celebrate the best minecraft series ever but i dont want to do something too big because next year is TEN YEARS I AM OLD so heres my hcs and most are. just canon in my rewrite WHICH I REALLY NEED TO ORGANIZE ONE DAY. someone should make like a google doc layout template thing for us its a hard world theres so much stuff that needs to be rewritten. anywho.

LORD APHMAU

NOT the reincarnation of Irene. Or literally just Irene.

Instead I based her off of my friend's old theory from 5th grade (as a tribute, also my friend isn't dead it's not like an in memoriam tribute but its a tribute to an amazing idea) that she was a fallen angel. But. She isn't at the same time?

Instead, she's one of Irene's daughters. Kind of. ITS HARD TO EXPLAIN AND I DONT WANNA GO ALL INTO THE LORE HERE BUT THERES "SISTERS" OF HERS TOO AND VYLAD STILL SUMMONED HER.

She doesn't have those markings from rebirth; I like them in fanart, but realistically? Why would some random girl have that? Instead, she has weird scars on her body.

Knows the basics of writing and reading... but REALLY struggles with them still. She literally just spawned on this world. She doesn't know everything.

But her natural tendency to help people is in her blood. Like. Irene's whole purpose of these "daughters" of her were to try to fix her legacy in a way. She still struggles with a lot of things though, and all those changes to the village LIKE WHERE SHE JUST BUILT HUGE THINGS obviously don't happen.

She also didn't have good combat skills until she trained with Garroth. Then Zenix. Then EVERYONE. Her combat skills are a huge melting pot of every single person she's fought against or fought with. Of course, she prefers to just use her sword.

SUPER socially awkward but doesn't even realize it. After all, she doesn't have many things to base her social interactions off of; she just got here. But, she does have manners at least.

Can't cook. AT ALL. This is actually a headcanon based off the WORST FANFIC I EVER READ (I lied it was amazing but I was so shocked by the ending like it's the best fic ever but... it SCARRED me PLEASE read it).

About like. 24 years old.

Bisexual and genderfluid and polyamorous.

Endgame is ultimately Garrancemau, but she DOES have a relationship with Katelyn and Zoey during the series. Those will be expanded upon later.

Never has a romantic relationship with Aaron. Also will be expanded upon later.

Can't tell her lefts from rights (just like me) without using her hands.

Once she found out about her relation to Irene, she just felt TERRIBLE. Like. This super cool Goddess EVERYONE loves was basically her mother and she has to live up to that.

BUT OH IT GETS WORSE WHEN SHE FINDS OUT IRENE IS A TERRIBLE PERSON. Now, she has to struggle with telling the world or not, she has to exist knowing she was just created to be a solution to the problems someone who doesn't even care much about her caused.

Has mild generalized anxiety and ADHD. And. Naturally gets a lot of trauma over the series.

Knows how Joan of Arc felt.

GARROTH RO'MEAVE

Kind of an idiot in a way. Like. SUPER INTELLIGENT. But never thought about changing his first name when hiding in Phoenix Drop... he just always ignored people's questions about his last name.

In his defense, Garroth became a fairly popular first name after his birth. It's like when the royals have children and the names they give them become more popular.

Azura helped him escape to Phoenix Drop; they met when he was allowed to go to knight college or whatever its called I FORGOT GUYS!! And he was not in the same class as Laurance... but there any good knight is literally put on the list of Jury of Nine canidates. Like. It's not that hard to be considered. But to be picked? They do like the biggest background checks EVER and secretly watch you to see your strengths.

Naturally a very father-like figure to those significantly younger than him as a result of caring for his brothers and protecting them from his father. I made a whole post about it before. I'd tag it but I. Don't feel like it.

LEVIN'S FATHER!! DILFROTH IS CANON GUYS. But he doesn't know he's the father until after the timeskip.

He doesn't just wear his helmet to hide his appearance from others; he can't stand his appearance. He's a splitting image of his father, the man he truly hates. He hides all the mirrors in his living quarters, he can't stand it. Aphmau is the one that truly starts helping him love himself.

Although. After the whole incident featuring a betrayal, portal, and missing 15 years, he feels scared that he is turning out evil just like his father. He hates it. It haunts him everyday.

Also. HE WASN'T AWARE OF WHAT HE WAS DOING.

Firstly, I just need to say, I head canon Garroth to have depression. And I spoke about this a bit before, but seeing the two people he loved the most seemingly hide a relationship behind his back, instead of being open and honest with him just hurt. He fell into a depressive episode, like it was terrible. AND ZANE BEING ZANE used that to manipulate Garroth, having Lillian use magicks and potions or whatever to mind control him. He only broke out of it once Lillian died AND LAURANCE USED THE POWER OF LOVE!

He never truly figures out everything that happens until after he escapes from the Irene Dimension.

Speaking of which, he is SUPER injured after he escaped from there. I. Um. Actually don't know the specific injuries I'm giving him but all I know is he becomes a cane user. So like. Obviously something with his back but I need to like really get the logistics down that's just how my mind works with these things.

In love with Aphmau AND Laurance. He's so silly.

Bisexual masculine non-binary he/they autistic king that also suffers from depression, PTSD, and survivor's guilt.

Like most people believe, he has a dad bod. Like obviously he's muscular, but he's also chubby.

Can't cut his own hair since he doesn't look in the mirror. When he first revealed his face to Aphmau, she helped him out with his beard and hair (and almost braided his hair).

Around 26 years old.

A good singer, but only sang for Laurance while he was recovering. It's their small little thing.

LAURANCE ZVHAL

Okay so firstly, I'm not putting any Shadow Knight headcanons. That's too much.

However, as a result of being a Shadow Knight, he has poor temperature regulation. Like. He's very naturally warm, so he overheats a lot, but in the cold, it's the opposite. He's FREEZING and has to layer up a lot.

Has two gay dads. Which... is canon?? WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS. He has Hayden and Joh. They are his gay dads and they raised him. And Cadenza.

Rarely can have a nice, peaceful sleep due to night terrors. He's haunted by the memories of the Nether, and the only times when those thoughts are subdued are when he's sleeping close to Aphmau or Garroth.

Actually the father of Alina. Because it's not Aaron (ew). And he never knows about this. Because he SACRIFICES himself to save Garroth and Aphmau because he loves them, and he doesn't want either of them to hurt or for himself to hurt them due to the calling.

Just to clarify, he and Aphmau did not intend for this by the way. They just had a silly night where they drank a little bit! And then woke up like a rom-com or something and where like "Oh. My. God." LIKE IT SEEMS TO BE SILLY but then it isn't.

Only knows how to crochet a single type of bear plush. Like. NOTHING ELSE.

He had to wash his orange hair like every single day. If he didn't it literally became so greasy and so crusty. And Zoey ended up having to do that while she watched over him. She was so close to just chopping it all off for him.

Garroth was his closest company while he was blind. He often asked Garroth to describe him what he saw in the village.

Once he got cured, he only partially regained his eyesight. He struggles to see a lot, and gets headaches easily. When he goes into Shadow Knight form though, his eyesight gets a lot better; but once he gets out of that form, he experiences so much pain, and his sight goes downhill for a while.

Can braid hair.

Likes to prank his friends a lot through really elaborate scares. SUPER happy once Malachi and Levin started getting involved.

Pansexual and polyamorous and 25 years old.

Sneezes like. Really cutely. Like he has one of those sneezes.

KATELYN

LITERALLY THE MOST MUSCULAR CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SHOW. AND TALL.

Her true love was Jeffory. Nothing will ever change that.

When she dated Aphmau, her own grief over Jeffory held back the relationship from blossoming into something more. This applies to all her other relationships as well.

Her anger issues are just simply treated better here. Like. That's all I have to say about that.

Helped care for Aphmau the most (along with Zoey) after Garroth was freed from the Irene Dimension because of how depressed she was over everything. She became really close with Lilith Garnet during this.

Never gets drunk. It's kind of insane. She is wild at taverns and just. Never gets drunk. Her power at that is balanced out with her terrible seasickness.

Doesn't get the appeal of coffee. She hates it, like it tastes so bad to her. She's a tea girlie.

28 years old. But people never guess her age right, like ever. She's eternally youthful despite not having a single skin routine.

Okay this is actually a headcanon and it's based off of a friend I do have in real life. So like yeah I guess in modern times Katelyn is a One Directioner but I guarantee she would be a Deftones fan or something.

okay i planned to do more characters but i literally forgot all mcd characters and my hcs :( SO MAYBE JUST SUGGEST CHARACTERS AND ILL SAY THEM CAUSE THEYRE JUST NOT COMING TO MIND RN also im tired

ANYWAYS HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SHOW THAT FOREVER CHANGED MY LIFE. without you minecraft diaries, i wouldve never become the insufferable person i am today <3

#minecraft diaries aphmau #minecraft diaries #mcd #mcd aphmau #mcd headcanons #rambling #GUYS PLEASE SUGGEST CHARACTERS I KNOW I CAN DO MORE!!

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