#literally thinking about getting a reduction

[is-the-character-aroacespec]

Is she aroace?

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(Requester asked for whole Forger family, I will split Yor and Loid in two separate polls, Anya feels too young to include)

Reasoning under the cut due to lenght!

The entire premise of the show kicks off because Yor didn't realize that dating was something she was expected to do and had to get into a fake relationship to cover her ass. Many fans run along with this and act like the use of that trope means that she and the other guy must Fall In Love For Real eventually, but Loid/Twilight literally thinks that at one point and brings it up in the show, asking if she's attracted to him and wants to legit become a couple, and Yor's response is to freak out at his misinterpretation and kick him in the head. She cares deeply for the Forger family, as does Twilight, but it's never shown in a romantic/sexual light for either of them. (Funnily enough, the same goes for Anya, who doesn't understand her peers' interest in romance and/or why Damian acts the way he does around her because of his crush. Aroace family baby.)

There's so much sincerity in how their relationship is written and it feels so reductive that people are like "oh yeah, it's because they're Totally Dating :TM:" in a way that goes blatantly against the text just because they care more about shipping than the story. Yor has so many worries about the ways she doesn't fit society's idea of "normal", trying her best to live up to what she sees as her role in the family - and her family isn't normal! It isn't! They're a spy and an assassin and a psychic, who all have identities that the rest of the world can't know. But it's never considered a negative thing by the narrative, and in fact much of the theme of Spy x Family relates to how they make it work and have something precious between themselves anyway. She's a wonderful character, and I just. Have FEELINGS about this cast. Argh. We stan the silly aspecs forever.

[roguestarsailor]

I’m definitely forbidden to look at pictures of myself from now on!!

[fromtheseventhhell]

Imagine being 9 years old and asking your dad about the things you're interested in doing when you grow up and he's like "No ❤️! But you can get married, have babies, and then maybe your sons can do those things ☺️🫶 "

[asurrogateblog]

as a media psychology researcher 85% of my job is figuring out the most horrifically academic way to say "you idiots wouldn't last a day on tumblr"

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Sonic fandom when Knuckles has an entire epiphany montage where he calls the Whipple family his home: I mean. This could mean anything. Maybe Wade and Knuckles are good friends. Maybe Knuckles is friends with them.

Sonic fandom when Maddie tells a construction worker that the damage Knuckles did was done by her "big kid" so as to not admit that she has alien anthropomorphic animal teenagers living in her house, and then follows that up by calling Knuckles by "our big red friend" to Sonic, with all of this happening after Sonic says he considers Knuckles to be his roommate: OMG Knuckles series confirmed Knuckles Wachowski CANON I cannot believe we won!! He's her kid this is his home he's Sonic's brother!! After the show he gets back to the Wachowski household and gets in sooo much trouble cause Maddie is his mom

[carlyraejepsans]

this is entirely unrelated to anything but i just wanted to say that you've helped me a lot to care a Lot Less about labels? i think that growing up in LGBT spaces on the internet meant that i kind of thought things *had* to be black or white and some of your posts have really helped me realize that like... who actually cares what other people think and feel as long as they're happy. and i think it's helped me become a less angry person. so thanks :)

you're very much welcome buddy, that's kind of the same journey i went through too. I can't begin to describe just... the damage it did to me growing up, and having an identity that changed a lot. im talking identity crisis level. it sucked. no kid should have to go through that. now i'm pretty heavily no-labels, both in sexuality and gender. i call myself what i feel like on the daily and/or whatever annoys people the most, lol. i'm glad i helped you break out of that mentality in a similar way :]

[lgbtlunaverse]

Could someone tell me where the interpretation that, in book canon, the promotion Nie Mingjue gives Meng Yao made Meng Yao's life worse than it was before, came from?

I have seen that claim made multiple times now and I've looked at the text over and over trying to see where the basis for it is and I. Can't find it? Don't get me wrong, it absolutely spells out that it does not and cannot fix everything for Meng Yao, but the idea that it was actively bad for him?

Lacking other evidence, I kind of have to assume that it comes from cql canon being sort of projected backwards onto book canon. In cql canon, meng yao is suffering active and explicit bullying and abuse from the captain while under the nie, and does so because the capain believes he has risen above his station via nmj's promotion of him. (In book canon this... isn't happening. It happens with the captain in Langya instead) However, in cql canon he has also been with the nie for years and is openly close to both Nie Mingjue and Nie Huasiang, whereas in book canon he has only been working with nie mingjue for a few months (though has, in that time, apparently become close enough to him for Lan Xichen to explicitly state Meng Yao is able to calm nmj down in ways no one else can? Ofc he does this... Right after that stops being true. But. Food for thought. Not what this post is about tho.) So, if you project the much more explicit abuse from the nie sect captain in cql back on novel jgy who has a presumably much less stable position in the sect overall you get... a meng yao for whom the promotion only means a bigger target on his back and virtually no protection from nmj, who we must assume he can't trust to talk to his about because he never mentions it. (This also explicitly violates book canon when it comes to meng yao's general behaviour, we'll talk about that in a sec)

And look. We all do frankencanon in this house. I get it. And for fanfiction that is very fun. But for a serious reading of the character, his situation, and the actions that lead from that this... doesn't make much sense, in my opinion.

So. Why is that? Why did I say this was out of character for the novel? Because Meng yao spoke up about the jin captain mistreating him. Multiple times! It's just that none of it mattered because no one cared to listen to him. This is a pretty important line for his character because it flatly shows that meng yao is not and has never seen murder as something trivial. He's not trigger happy. He will only do it if he sees no other way out that doesn't end in himself being seriously harmed. (Whether he's right or justified in these cases is not the point of this post.)

If anything remotely similar was happening in the Nie sect, he would have said so. Cql Meng Yao doesn't do this because cql Meng Yao is a different character, and also the plot wouldn't work if he did. Cql Nie Mingjue, by extension, comes off as a fundamentally less trustworthy figure in cql Meng Yao's life because apparently for whatever reason, he cannot be trusted with the information that the deputy he has already publicly defended is still being harassed, and doesn't notice even when it is really blatant. The assumtpion the audience is given is that, like a middle schooler getting the principal involved when being bullied, it would only make the harassment more viscious.

This... actually has a somewhat solid basis in the book. Because after nmj yells at the bullies in question Wei Wuxian says this.

And it is important to keep in mind that this is Wei Wuxian saying this. Not Meng Yao, not an omniscient narrator. Wei wuxian is drawing on his own experiences, likely from the Jiang family, to conclude that if someone is angry at you and thwarted by someone defending you, this generally does not make them less angry at you.

This is leaving out two crucial things, though.

Firstly, this worry isn't about the promotion at all.

The promotion hasn't even been brought up. In the novel it doesn't ctually happen immediately, it takes another few battles where meng yao continues to do his job well and nie mingjue continues praising him for him to eventually go "yeah, you deserve a raise."

This is another aspect that is being projected from cql canon onto book canon I presume, because it does happen quite quickly there, and it's a throwaway line in the books so it's easy to miss. I can't be mad about anyone forgetting the difference, but it is important to mention for this particular analysis.

Which is the second point: change in status

Wei Wuxian couldn't exactly change status within the Jiang family. (And if he could, that would just fuel rumours that he was jfm's bastard even more and make madam yu even angrier at him, etc etc.)

This isn't comparable to Meng Yao. The worry Wei Wuxian is talking about is explitly about Nie Mingjue's initial very loud defense of him. Before he has any idea Nie Mingjue is going to promote him.

Promoting him would likely decrease his chances of cultivators coming after him because now he was in a higher standing in the sect than they were. If applied to that earlier metaphor of middle school bullying it's like if the bullied kid suddenly got hired as a teacher. Which. Doesn't work with the metaphor at all. Touché. But what I am trying to say is that any payback they would have planned for him relied on the fact that they could make sure that Nie Mingjue wasn't going to be within very convenient earshot a second time, and as a random disciple Meng Yao couldn't just go complain to him every time.

But as his right hand man? Who spends most of his time working directly alongside him? Lmao. Good luck. Oh, sure, it is very likely that they feel offended a son of a whore has been raised in status above them, and many will continue to do so as jgy rises through cultivation society (in fact, Wei Wuxian's observations are absolutely on point for how Madam Jin will be treating jgy later on). But as we can also see from the way jgy is treated and how he treats others throughout the story: you can be upset all you want, but if that person is higher than you in status there's jack shit you can do about it.

If I am correct and Wei Wuxian is basing this on his experiences with the Jiang family, it makes sense why he'd miss this. Madam Yu gets to be way angrier at Jiang Fengmian as his wife than some random disciples can be at Nie Mingjue. Insulting Meng Yao, suggesting that he didn't deserve his promotion or that he earned it through less than proper means (you know who is mother is) is also an insult to Nie Mingjue and the way he chooses to run his sect. They can't do that.

Another thing I see brought up in this regard would be the tea scene. There may be no explicit harassment like in the show, but cultivators still don't respect him! The disrespect is just quieter and more subtle.

Tiny detail: these are actually not Nie cultivators

They're cultivators Lan Xichen is escorting with him, making a pitstop in heijan.

The book confirms this by basically outright stating that this is the first time they see his face, and recognize him as Jin Guangshan's bastard son.

Now, just because there is no proof that it happened doesn't mean it definitely never happened. Mdzs is a novel that often leaves stuff out or up to interpretation. Similar stuff to the tea situtation could very well be happening in the background. But I do think it is pretty significant that there is no mention whatsoever of Meng Yao having any negative treatment from Nie cultivators betwen him and Nie Mingjue meeting and him executing them while spying for Wen Ruohan, and the most we get is Wei Wuxian's personal speculation, after which he immediately goes to wax poetic about how surprised he is that Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue are getting along super well.

And, again, novel Meng Yao would have said something. He doesn't say anything about the tea scene. - Or? Does he? Notably 3zun have some very long in depth conversations that Wei Wuxian zones out from because he's busy thinking about Lan Zhan again. But let's not rely on what-ifs. Let's say that neither he nor Lan Xichen find it worth bringing up. Major reasons for that would be that a) these are not nie cultivators, nie mingjue wouldn't really have the authority to scold them. Especially because b) it's such a subtle offense it could easily be handwaved as coincidence. "They just always brush their cups clean like that!! It's wartime you know, and they were traveling! They're used to drinking from vessels that aren't thoroughly washed everytime! It's just a habit!" And would therefore not be worth reporting.

But anything worse than that? A "price tens or hundreds of times greater" like wwx mentions? He'd report it! I do understand that "well if it was happening why didn't he say something?" would, in real life, be victim blaming. This is not real life, and I am not talking about this in a matter of blame. If Meng Yao was being mistreated in the Nie and stayed silent about it, it would still not be his fault. I am talking about this in a manner of character consistency.

His admission of seeking help in the Jin sect shows that at that time and prior to it (a very good argument can be made that he loses faith in this idea) he believes that if he is being mistreated and someone with the authority to say something about it takes his side, things can improve. If Nie Mingjue standing up for him in Qinghe only made things worse, he would not have tried to ask for help in an even more hostile environment. You can call Meng Yao many things, but naïve isn't one of them.

Meng yao's later habit of completely isolating himself and lying to everyone around him comes from the fact that revealing his suffering would mean explaining several horrible things he's become complicit in and he does not feel safe admitting to that. But he's done nothing wrong here!

The reading where he says nothing would imply an either correct or incorrect belief in Meng Yao's eyes that Nie Mingjue did not much care for his wellbeing or safety. Oh sure he defended him once but doing so again multiple times would be such a bother. This also contradicts his later behaviour, where he banks solely on Nie Mingjue's protective instincts to seal his qi and escape during the confrontation in Langya. After having been caught murdering a man, he is still convinced Nie Mingjue will immediately try to help him when he is in serious danger.

And even if you very badly want to characterize Nie Mingjue as a blundering idiot who is apparently less trustworthy in Meng Yao's eyes than the jin cultivators who had already resoundly rejected him by the time he tries to ask for help with the langya captain. He doesn't say anything to Xichen either! Lan Xichen, who has explicitly and exhaustively been portrayed as kind and understanding to Meng Yao's circumstances and very willing to talk to Mingjue if Meng Yao wants something from him he doesn't otherwise think he'd get. The conversation Mingjue overhears where Meng Yao's new position in the Nie is explictly brought up would be kind of the perfect time to go "yeah I've been promoted but I'm not treated well by other soldiers" aaaand. Nothing. So unless you come to the conclusion that Meng Yao trusted the Jin he told about the captain's abuse more than Lan Xichen you kind of have to conclude that Meng Yao's treatment after his promotion improved significantly. And that even if people still disliked him they could not openly do anything about it because he was high enough in status for that to be socially inappropiate. Which is, explicitly, one of his main motivators over the entire course of the story: Avoiding mistreatment by getting high enough on the social ladder it doesn't matter what people think of him, they can't hurt him.

And I'm not sure how to reconcile that character journey with the idea that he would, at any point, have preferred to keep his head down and stay where he was. When he was so desperate to crawl his way out.

[dhaaruni]

"War against female body and nature"

Looking into it!

[is-the-character-aroacespec]

Is he aroace?

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Reasoning under the cut due to lenght, same reason as Yor's poll:

The entire premise of the show kicks off because Yor didn't realize that dating was something she was expected to do and had to get into a fake relationship to cover her ass. Many fans run along with this and act like the use of that trope means that she and the other guy must Fall In Love For Real eventually, but Loid/Twilight literally thinks that at one point and brings it up in the show, asking if she's attracted to him and wants to legit become a couple, and Yor's response is to freak out at his misinterpretation and kick him in the head. She cares deeply for the Forger family, as does Twilight, but it's never shown in a romantic/sexual light for either of them. (Funnily enough, the same goes for Anya, who doesn't understand her peers' interest in romance and/or why Damian acts the way he does around her because of his crush. Aroace family baby.)

There's so much sincerity in how their relationship is written and it feels so reductive that people are like "oh yeah, it's because they're Totally Dating :TM:" in a way that goes blatantly against the text just because they care more about shipping than the story. Yor has so many worries about the ways she doesn't fit society's idea of "normal", trying her best to live up to what she sees as her role in the family - and her family isn't normal! It isn't! They're a spy and an assassin and a psychic, who all have identities that the rest of the world can't know. But it's never considered a negative thing by the narrative, and in fact much of the theme of Spy x Family relates to how they make it work and have something precious between themselves anyway. She's a wonderful character, and I just. Have FEELINGS about this cast. Argh. We stan the silly aspecs forever.

[whiskeyswifty]

.

[dinosaurcharcuterie]

I just realized I don't want gender neutral bathrooms and changing rooms just for gender reasons. I don't even want them just for practicality reasons, or just for economic reasons.

I want gender neutral hygiene spaces because, in my experience*, women who are bursting to get out of a sports bra and/or pee are wont to say unkind things and excuse it as "between us girls", and men do not wash properly if they think the bro code protects them.

[sexynetra]

As a contrarian to how so many people perceive (or write) Marcia as a pillow princess that doesn't have a bone in her body that could top, power top Marcia is the only Marcia that lives in my heart. Okay, maybe submissive top Marcia can also be there. As a treat.

I had this chat early on with my beta and she opened my eyes to the vast and beautiful world of the potential of top Marcia. I’d already established the rawnsyf dynamic, but I have many universes planned in my mind, and Marcia deserves to be dominant sometimes!!! Like just cause she’s blonde and hyperfeminine doesn’t mean she can’t fuck yknow? Let hyperfeminine girls top intimidating girls. As a treat.

[tinylilvalery]

Shiv stans will literally think infantilising her to remove her from any responsibility of her actions is a hot take lol. Mf, Shiv is an adult like everyone else on this show, she's responsible for her actions. She's not a little feminist angel who has no agency.

[katealot]

Here’s your friendly reminder that men and boys are not inherently “bad” or “worse” than anyone else just because the they’re male and perpetuating this idea only serves to hurt young men

[icannotgetoverbirds]

love love love being forced to go downstairs where they have the tv blaring at full blast for an appointment only to find out that the person I'm meeting with isn't going to be in today (and she didn't bother to send me an email to cancel it) and then on top of that when i see the aggressively heterosexual aggressively monogamous and amatonormative scene on tv about a woman being more attracted to her male partner for getting jealous because it's "caveman"-like and i joke that I'll never understand monogamous people, getting told by the security guard there that it's human nature to get jealous of your partner's exes, implying very casually that polyamory is somehow less natural. I told the guard I exist as proof otherwise and was met with "yeah well you're the exception not the rule" it doesn't make me any less natural???? it doesn't make me any less human???

i should not have to justify my existence to random ignorant monogamous people for the crime of making a light hearted joke.

[elumish]

Hello friends!

I know it's only August, but I thought I'd start early:

If you have the legal right to vote in the United States, there is no benefit to you in not voting. All that not voting does to you is remove your most powerful legal ability to impact the identity of those who represent you in the government.

By the time you reach the election, by the time ballots are printed and you are filling in a bubble or pressing a button or flipping a lever, your only meaningful choice for who to vote for are the people who are listed on the ballot.

Because we live in a two-party system, in the vast majority of jurisdictions*, you are choosing between members of two parties. If you vote for someone who is not a member of one of those parties, you are throwing away your ability to meaningfully impact who wins that election. It sucks. it's shitty. It's unfortunate. But if you want a third party candidate to have a chance in a major race, it starts years before the election, not when you are standing in front of your ballot in November.

And if you think, they're both the same as each other--they're not. For literally any policy that you care about, there will be differences. Pick the policies you care most about, find the one who sits closer to you and vote for them. That is the only way that laws will move in the direction you want, by electing people who vote for policies that are closer to what you want.

I studied game theory in college, and from my standpoint it was one of the most useful and educational classes I took during my entire academic career, because of this key idea: If you want 10, and your options are 0 or 5, 5 is a better option for you. Something gives you more than nothing, even if you want a lot.

You will not get a politician who agrees with everything you want, unless you run for office yourself. Pick what you care the most about, and vote based on that. See voting as harm reduction. See voting as public transportation. See voting as whatever gets you out to vote.

But vote.

*There are a few independents in office. An independent or third party candidate will not win the Presidency in 2024.