#literally the worst timing for them to get rid of our positions but no one higher up bothered to ask anyone who knows what goes on

[lovecolibri]

Having fomo because I can't physically absorb a gazillion seasons of Dimension 20 in a week and be fully caught up and able to track new stuff coming out. Praying that a) my new position at work is as mind-numbing boring as it seems and I can watch some stuff occasionally while I'm working, and b) that I can convince my boss that after months of putting us through the wringer about outsourcing our jobs and not having anything for us to apply for and moving the timetable from over a year away to 4 months later telling us we were done in a couple weeks, that the least she can fucking do is not allow some rando (who had the fucking at blasting at 8am when I don't turn it on at all until 2pm if that) to move into my office and district me all day by being loud and on the phone. I deserve peace and quiet and if I have to work in an office that smells like mold and sewage half the time, I at least should get to play my music and watch dnd while I work.

[stop-talking]

How do you think jhutch characters would handle a baby?

I'm not quite sure if you're asking "what would they do if you handed them a baby" or "what would they do if you told them you're pregnant" but I'm gonna assume you meant the latter. (feel free to send another request if I got it wrong)

Ranking Jhutch characters from worst to best fathers:

Billy

☆ Would play dumb when you hand him the pregnancy test.

☆ "What's this? Oh, you're pregnant? Can't be mine. My pull-out game is too strong." (literally has NO pull-out game, refuses to use condoms because he "can't feel" with them on)

☆ Basically ghosts you until the paternity test proves it's his. Then he actually ghosts you.

☆ Drops off the face of the fucking Earth for years. Doesn't pay a dime in child support.

☆ Maybe he comes back like 3 years later drunk and demanding to see "his" kid idk. Literally the worst.

Derek

☆ Honestly I headcannon he had a vasectomy at like 24-25.

☆ His mom hit him up once she heard about his prostitute scandals and chewed him out. Gave him "the talk" even though he's a grown ass man... finally got him to get snipped when she brought up the possibility of paying income-based child support for 18 years.

☆ Assuming he doesn't have one, though...

☆ He'd initially be mad and blame you. "I thought you were on the pill!!"

☆ Then he'd be like "Is it too late to... you know... get rid of it?" (and kind of dance around the subject because he's too much of a wimp to just say the word abortion)

☆ Wallace and his mom would both force him to get his shit together and apologize. Eventually he'd come to terms with the fact he's gonna be a dad.

☆ He'd be the kind of bastard to throw an over-the-top gender reveal party. The kind that burns down half of California or pollutes a major water channel.

☆ I think he'd be a really good girl dad. He'd let her paint his nails and stuff. Spoil her. <3

☆ He would treat a son completely differently. Teach him to "be a man" or whatever when he's still learning to walk. Force him into random ass sports.

☆ He'd have them mostly taken care of by a nanny. That's probably how he was raised, anyways. Derek Danforth is NOT changing a diaper.

Futturman

☆ Whether we're talking pre-show or post-show, he'd freak the fuck out if you handed him a positive pregnancy test. I'm talking full-on pass out.

☆ Pre-show Josh would be like "Babe we can NOT afford a baby I literally live at home with my parents and work as a janitor."

☆ His parents would be so crazy supportive though. They've been hinting that they want grandkids for YEARS.

☆ They literally clear out a room IMMIDEATELY after hearing the news and offer it to you to use as a nursery.

☆ His mom buys you more baby clothes than you could possibly need. His dad builds a crib from scratch.

☆ Overall Josh is stressed asf but he does his best to be there for you, and his parents are OVERWHELMIGLY supportive.

☆ Post-show Josh, on the other hand, doesn't have that support. But he's survived unspeakable horrors across multiple dimensions, how hard could a baby be?

☆ Extremely hard, apparently. One day he just loses it and makes a huge decision without asking you.

☆ "Josh WTF happened to our savings??"

☆ "TRUST ME BABE we need to invest in Apple!!"

☆ You're pissed but it pays off in a few years and you're both able to live comfortably.

☆ Then in 2015-ish he did the same thing again, pouring all your savings into bitcoin. This time you SWEAR you're going to leave him, but it all pays out in the end. He gets your kid through college with that money.

☆ Overall he's a really good father, too. He had great parents, and even if he's not experienced with kids, he's naturally a very caring and attentive person.

Mike

☆ Cries when he sees the pregnancy test. He's not even sure if it's happy or sad tears.

☆ Gets sick to his stomach overthinking about how he's going to be a terrible father. His dad walked out on him, so he has literally no idea how to act.

☆ Abby, on the other hand, is absolutely delighted. She's always wanted a "little sister". Mike has to remind her that technically it's her niece. Or nephew. There's no guarantee on the gender yet.

☆ Eventually he comes to terms with it all. He's taken care of Abby for ten years, he isn't completely clueless.

☆ Takes you to all of your Dr.'s appointments, checkups, etc. Holds your hand. Makes all of your weird pregnancy cravings and doesn't judge.

☆ After the birth, he lets you rest. Nearly works himself to death trying to take care of the baby all on his own because he wants you to recover.

☆ I'm talking getting up bleary-eyed at 2am every night to microwave some formula and feed the baby. After working a 10 hour shift.

☆ Pulls the "I have a baby on the way" card at work in an attempt to get a raise. It works, thankfully. (In the novel version of the movie; it says he gets a job as a contractor at the end. So hopefully he can afford a kid...)

----------♡----------

[Remember: these are just MY headcannons. If you think differently that's fine. I didn't include Clapton because he's literally in highschool... and we all know Peeta is an amazing father.]

[theitgirlnetwork]

Earn It

Ch. 9: Pretty Tired of Talking About Tennis

Note: Well...I'm back. And I have several things to say in this author's note. A.) sorry, it should've been sooner. B.) I can't wait to get back into the swing of this story. Most importantly, C.) thank you so much for the continued love you've shown it. As those who have seen the movie know, we're quite literally still in the beginning. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and the ones to come. Please remember these characters are all meant to be flawed but none completely evil as you read. They will be toxic and make mistakes. Our good friend Patrick is distinctly missing in this one, but don't worry, his absence is not permanent. Anyways, I love interacting with you all so feel free to send me messages, things in my inbox, and comment. And to those who would like to know who's children those are...well...what do you guys think? I'd love to hear thoughts and guesses. If this sucks let's chalk it up to me being rusty and I'll try to do better next time lol. Love y'all <3

Warnings: Mention of sexual content, strong language, themes of cheating (MDNI)

Taglist (This shit normally doesn't work for me): @spookystitchery@anehkael@fkaams@butterflyybabe@sun2flower @holierthancunt @silkenthusiasts @wolflover384 @liziihorta @summerssover @jackierose902109

“This is some bullshit. Now, they don’t wanna sing.” Heaven shakes her head, flexing her toes against Tashi’s leg on the other side of the couch. “That’s so stupid.”

“They need to get rid of those other two girls, clearly, Chanel and Galleria want it more.” Tashi shrugs, swatting Heaven’s foot away, rolling her eyes when she feels the girl drop them right back into her lap. “I’m Galleria, you’re Chanel.”

“Um, I’m definitely Galleria, what the fuck are you even saying?” 

“Nope,” Tashi says, popping the ‘p’ and reaching across the coffee table to take a sip of her drink, cringing at the bitter taste of alcohol on her tongue. “Okay, this is fucking nasty, we probably should’ve looked up what the fuck we were making.”

“Mm. And have my mom find out we drank when she goes through my computer? Girl.” Heaven shifts in her seat, moving to sit criss-crossed and face Tashi on the couch. “Cheers.” She grins, pushing her mug against Tashi’s, smiling even harder when the taller girl mirrors her position and makes a little ‘tink’ sound as the glasses collide. “You wouldn’t even like having two other girls that hang out with us all the time.”

Tashi’s brows furrow disbelief clear on her face at the accusation. “Me? Why?”

“You’re possessive.”

“I’m not possessive, you just pick dickheads to fuck with.” 

“Oh yeah? And your type is better?” Heaven snorts, leaning to the side, reaching over to the coffee table digging through the makeup bag of nail polishes Tashi had presented her with when they’d started setting up for their little movie night. Heaven produces a sage green polish from the bag, waving the bottle for Tashi’s approval. “Caleb was the cream of the crop then?”

Tashi shrugs, reaching into Heaven’s lap and selecting the baby blue the dancer had selected for herself. “Better than Chance. Try to stay in the lines this time?” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Heaven mumbles, a smile on her face as she takes Tashi’s hand, hunching over, breaking her generally perfect posture to focus in on her friend’s delicate nails. Tashi sits back and watches as Heaven tilts her head in concentration, biting down lightly on her bottom lip as she glides the brush across her fingernails, the cool polish setting in as Heaven lightly blows on each nail as she goes. “Chance was the fucking worst.”

“Yeah and he hated me.”

“All of your boyfriends always hate me.” Heaven hums. “Wonder why that is.”

Tashi smiles, turning her face away for a second, giving herself a break from the thrumming feeling looking at Heaven gives her and watching the scene playing out on tv. It was something of a mutiny. Dorinda and Aqua, talking shit about Galleria to Chanel. Calling her a diva and demanding that her best friend do something. Chanel knowing her friend had gone too far, done too much and loving her anyway. Because their dreams were too important. Their friendship took precedent. “Probably because they know you’re obsessed with me. Look at you, working so hard to paint my nails and make me all pretty.”

“You’re the one who picked out my favorite color.” Heaven purses her lips, closing the polish and placing it back into the bag, holding out Tashi’s hand to admire her own work. “They’re just jealous because I;m a better boyfriend to you than they are. No one meets your expectations like I do.”

“Yeah?” Tashi challenges, quirking an eyebrow, her own twin grin matching Heaven’s. “You think you impress me?” Locked in a stalemate, both girls are unflinching, both daring the other to look away, to fold first. That’s how it starts. Their staring contest had begun as a battle of wills. The smell of popcorn and nail polish in the air. The distant noise of the ��All Around the World’ song from Cheetah Girls playing on the television. The dark hallways leading to the living room threaten to suddenly reveal Heaven’s stepfather or worse mother to discover them and burst their bubble. But what was more pressing was the energy between the two girls. It was nothing they hadn’t felt before. After a heated match, as they rush together to celebrate another victory for Tashi, Heaven’s voice hoarse from how loudly she’d screamed from her. After each show, or recital, when Heaven is still doused in show makeup and glitter, and Tashi can’t help but see a shining star when she’s looking her in the face. But this time, Tashi did something different. Something only Heaven has ever been able to draw out of her in her 16 years of living. 

She concedes.

“Hev, you’re really pretty. Obviously,” she pulls Heaven’s hand into her own lap, toying with her fingers, without breaking eye contact. Her voice dropping to a whisper. “You know that.”

Heaven can appreciate it. Tashi putting herself out there like this, no matter how small the gesture. She got the point. And it was hard for Tashi, for both of them, to be vulnerable. Heaven had spent the past year wrestling with the feelings she’d developed for her friend. She’d just convinced herself she was satisfied just being her favorite person, even if they weren’t romantic a few months ago. Sure she flirted and joked, but she never thought Tashi would initiate something. There wasn’t anything in the world at that moment that could make her leave her hanging. 

“Yeah, but, you’re the only person it really matters to hear it from.” Heaven’s cheeks dimple as she scoots closer, intertwining her fingers with Tashi’s. 

Tashi’s brows furrow as she cocks her head back, creating a little more space as Heaven leans in, causing the other girl to roll her eyes. “And?”

“And,” Heaven’s nose wrinkles playfully as she sits up on her knees, breathing softly against Tashi’s lips before connecting them with hers. “You’re really pretty too.”

2019 (California)

Heaven speed walks down the walkway to the larger waiting room she knew Art would be placed in. A splitting stress headache is already forming in the front of her brain as she makes her way past the busy employees running the event, hiding her face from the flashing lights of fans and photographers. 

As she rounds the corner she sees Tashi pacing back and forth, running her fingers through her bob and biting her lower lip. She pauses in her steps as she sees Heaven making her way toward her. Clapping her hands together and shrugging she fixes Heaven with a disapproving look. “This should be easy. What the fuck is wrong with him?”

“Why? What happened?”

“He’s just,” Tashi huffs out a breath, shaking her head. “He doesn’t give a fuck. I can’t give a fuck for him, Heaven.”

“M’not asking you to. Stop talking to me like that, you’re not my coach, you’re Art’s.” Heaven snaps the gum in her mouth irritably.

“I am his coach.”

“Then coach him.”

“Arthur is a grown man-” Tashi scoffs, laughing humorously.

“I know.” 

“I can’t get him to do anything that he doesn’t want to do.” 

“Be patient with him.”

“Interestingly enough, that’s your job, not mine.” Tashi grimaces, leaning down to mumble as a pair of fans walk by waving at them. Heaven offers them her own smile and nod as they pass.  Team Donaldson is a unit after all. “Look, I’m doing my part. He needs to do his, or this doesn’t work. Then none of us are happy.” Tashi tilts her head in the direction of the door. “Look, he’s asking for you. If you can get him together, that’s great, if not…”

“He’s fine, Tashi. I’m gonna talk to him. Let me talk to him.” Heaven’s tired. She knows Tashi’s tired and it’s obvious Art is. But this has to work. They’ve worked too hard. All of them have worked too hard to not make it to the finish. Heaven reaches out, grabbing Tashi’s hand and squeezing, her own face softening at the exhausted look on Tashi’s pretty face. “Let me fix it.”

Tashi takes another deep breath, eyes slipping closed briefly before flexing her fingers around Heaven’s, twisting the gold band underneath the accent ring on her finger. “He needs to be ready in 7 minutes. I’m giving you 5.”

“That’s all I need.”

The door clicks open and Art’s eyes trail over from the wall to the doorway. 

“Arthur.”

Heaven stands in front of him with her hand on her hip, the other hand wrapped around the knob as the view of a sour Tashi fades from his view as the door closes again, head tilted as if she’s observing him. He shifts under the weight of her gaze, sitting back in the fold out chair, opening his legs and holding out one of his calloused hands he’d just been inspecting. Art holds his breath as she purses her lips, raising a single brow at him as she decides if she feels like bothering with him, if she is mad at him too. 

He releases that breath when she rolls her eyes, taking two large steps before standing between his legs, resting her own soft, unbroken hands on his face, soothing the frown on his lips away with each brush of her thumb. She allows him to explore with his own hands the body he’d wished he’d woken up to that morning. Every morning. He runs his palms up and down her strong, dancer’s legs, taking in her sweet scent as he pushes his face against her stomach and his palms squeeze her ass, pulling her closer. A familiar wave of pride washes over him as he feels the difference in fabric between the rest of her tracksuit and the letters painted across the backside that were similarly spelled out across her chest.

DONALDSON

“What the fuck?” She all but whispers, her rose petal lips set into a confused grimace. “You don’t wanna play today?”

“I never said that.” he mumbles against the fabric. Heaven pushes him by his shoulders so that he settles against the back of the chair and leans down so they’re face to face, sighing as Art pushes their foreheads together. 

“So, why are you sitting here like someone who doesn’t wanna go play some fucking tennis?” She asks. Big brown eyes scan his somber face, her manicured thumb sweeps across the skin of his cheek. “He’s a fucking nobody, Art.”

“I know that.” 

“So what’s the problem?” Heaven squints, brows furrowing, pushing him away again as he rubs his face against hers. She guides him by his chin, forcing him back enough so that can look him in his eyes. “Are you done?”

“Baby-” He starts, only for her to pull him even closer.

“No, seriously. Are you done? Is this all? Let me know now.” 

“I never…I never said that, it’s just-” Art stares up into concerned brown eyes and sees his reflection in them. He can't take it. The look. It’s not the stern look of disapproval or disdain. It’s not even annoyance or agitation. It's disappointment. It’s fear. Fear that he’s tapped out. Fear that he is done. He can see that Heaven is petrified of what that would mean. And Art is too. “I dunno, Hev.” 

She cups his face then, her warm hands contrasted by the cold ring on her finger, her proximity clouding his judgment and overpowering thoughts of exhaustion and disinterest. Heaven seduces him with the love in her eyes. She climbs fully into his lap then, resting her weight on him as they melt together, tension in his body dissipating with each new place their bodies meet. “I want to help you. Tell me how. Tell me what you need. Tell me what you need me to do, Art, and I’ll do it. What do you want, baby?” 

“I want,” He sighs deeply, eyes fluttering shut as he brushes his lips against hers, gripping her waist tighter as they share their air. “I want you to look at me.” His lips capture hers in a heated kiss. Heaven opens her mouth to him, releasing her own sigh as their tongues brush before she tugs his bottom lip into her mouth. A small sound of surprise escapes her as Art steals the gum from her mouth, holding it out of the way in his cheek as he explores her mouth. “Just me.” He murmurs against her lips. 

Heaven pulls back at that, pressing one more kiss on his nose, face softening when he leans into the last little piece of affection desperately, before dropping his own kisses on her nose, forehead and jaw, ending with her palm. “I’m always looking at you, superstar.”

It’s almost like fate wanted to remind him that’s not true. That these little moments in time are just a fantasy. Because just like that the room doors were opening and Tashi was power walking her way in. Suddenly, those brown eyes didn’t belong to him anymore. Neither set of them. Instead, there’s a silent conversation happening over his head. A language he couldn’t understand even if it were spoken out loud. He’s cold under the shadows they cast as they discuss him without him. His mind wanders as his eyes trail back over to the picture of a younger, more enthusiastic him that hangs on the waiting room wall. 

There’s another knock at the door that catches the trio’s attention, a woman with a headset pokes her head in and offers the blond a wide smile, a fan working the event no doubt, damn near gushing as she holds her clipboard to her chest. “Mr. Donaldson, it’s time.”

“Okay.” Tashi answers for him. The woman is shaken then, acknowledging there are two other people in the room. Two other athletes. There always are, with Art. But he’s the star. In everyone else’s eyes. He’s the one that matters. She nods and leaves the room, scurrying away to her hurry and fulfill whatever other responsibilities, no doubt in interest of finishing in time to see the Art Donaldson play.  Heaven doesn’t even wait for them, following the employee out as both Tashi and Art watch her slip from the room to meet them outside. Tashi moves in front of Art, smoothing her hand over his hair as she studies his face. She cups her hand under his mouth glancing down at it expectantly. Breathing out a heavy sigh, Art spits his gum into her open palm, before feeling the other hand hold his other cheek. “Decimate that little bitch.”

Leo Du Marier was a new player. He was the best in his school and eventually made it into the big leagues. Big enough that today, he’d be playing against Art Donaldson today. The kid was fucking shitting his pants. Art Donaldson has basically won, every fucking award a tennis player could win, and was the youngest to do so. All he was missing was the U.S. Open. Du Marier himself had waited in line for an embarrassing amount of time to try and score a pair of Nike x Donaldson sneakers when they’d dropped. The younger player couldn’t decide if he was excited to meet the man he wishes to model his career after or petrified. The man was going to destroy him. Humiliate him. He knows it. 

The only thing that gave him some kind of relief was that Art was known to be kind. While the man was admittedly smug, past opponents do speak of the crooked smile and strong handshake that he offers after he drags them through the fucking mud. He’s seen many pictures that the blond man has taken with people just like Du Marier, wrapping his arm around them on one side, but refusing to let go of whatever trophy he’d wrenched out of their hands with the other. 

At least he’d kick his ass with a kind smile. 

So, when Du Marier’s coach nudges him as they make their way through the player’s tunnel leading to the courts and he sees Art, he stops. He feels larger than life. Not in height, because though he’s pretty tall, it’s not the length of him. It’s the stride. It’s the walk. His gear. It’s pristine, with his name printed on it. His demeanor. It’s not at all what the younger player had expected. It’s cold and unmoving. Nothing like the player he’d seen from the bleachers years ago when he was too young to even enter. Flanking his sides are two beautiful women, walking in unison with him, all of their steps coming off perfectly executed and calculated. Each of them seemingly the exact same distance apart from each other. Du Marier couldn’t help but stare. 

And Art felt it. He turns his head, looking at him. Staring. Almost…glaring. It felt like ice in his veins as he watched the celebrity frown at him, not so much as offering a wave as he made his way past. Du Marier unconsciously holds his breath, waiting, pleading for the moment to pass. He thanks his fucking lucky stars as one of the woman’s hand makes its way to Art’s face, diamond ring glittering against her skin as she guides his face forward before they exit the tunnel, waving to the paparazzi. 

“Did you see that look? He’s going to destroy me, no?”

“Worry about it later, Leo.”

As Du Marier watches the Art Donaldson, send yet another tennis racket sailing against the wall, sweat dripping down his brow he releases his breath. A smile spreads across his face as some of the crowd cheers for him and even more of them boo him for his win. He was cool with being an underdog success story. Especially against that asshole. He could feel the people in the crowd nearly vibrating with disappointment, as the fan favorite lost another match. He used to be one of them. Rooting for the blond asshole across the net. But now? Well, maybe this is why they say don’t meet your fuckin’ heroes. 

He could at least say, to Art’s credit, he didn’t seem to give a fuck about the crowd. As he paced along the court, kicking his chair and swearing under his breath, he only seemed to be looking in one section. To be honest, it’d been the only section he’d bothered looking at the entire match. One might say he’d looked so much that it was what threw him off. Du Marier takes a second to follow Art’s gaze, eyes flicking between the angry tennis player and two empty seats. He couldn’t help but understand why Art was so upset. Leo would be hurt too if his wife and coach left before they even got to matchpoint. 

.

2007 (California: Stanford Campus) 

Heaven’s leg jumps as she sits in the spectator seat, watching the ball go back and forth between Tashi and Art twice before it rolls to a stop on Art’s side. She drops her head back in the chair in annoyance as she hears Tashi huff. 

“Hit the ball.”

She doesn’t even bother opening her eyes as she hears Tashi serve, a severe lack in the sound of footsteps coming from Art’s side. He’s not even trying. It’s just gonna piss her off. It’s not helping us see what she can do. Heaven groans when she hears the ball hit the fence behind him and sits up with a frown on her face.

“What’re you, scared you’re gonna hurt me?” Tashi growls, gripping her racket. Her brows are furrowed as she glares at the blond man who simply opens his mouth and then closes it, glancing at Heaven as if she was supposed to save him from Tashi’s scrutiny. “Pussy.” 

With that, Heaven climbs down from the spectator’s seat, walking irritably over to Art’s side, tugging up her gym shorts and hopping a little from one foot to the other. “Tashi, come on.” She holds her hand out for Art’s racket without sparing him a glance, “move.” she mumbles nudging him out of the way.

Heaven is by no means a tennis player. Recreationally, she could hold her own very well, and she was quick on her feet due to dance, but the real reason she could play decently was because Tashi demanded it. It was for when Tashi was antsy and no one else was unavailable. Or when she was upset and needed to blow off some steam the only way she knew how. 

“Actually try to hit the ball.” The taller girl says grumpily, rounding back into position, sitting into a squat.

And she does. 

Heaven tries very hard. She respects Tashi, and she knows she’s the better player, so she does her best. And it’s good for a few moments. Until she tries to send her down the line, and her knee gives out, sending her down onto the court. 

Art is jumping over the net in a flash trying to get to the girl and help her up. But Heaven just stands behind, twirling the racket in her hand.

“Tashi, get up.” 

“I am. I’m good-” she lightly pushes Art’s helping hands away, leg wobbling as she attempts to stand, pushing off of the rough gravel of the court. “I’m good, I’m fine-”

“Hold on.” Art says softly, holding the girl’s arms, sighing as her knee buckles slightly, causing her to stumble. “Maybe we should take a break for today.”

“She’s fine. We need to keep going.” Heaven walks over to the net, taking Art’s outstretched hand as she swings her legs over, oblivious to Tashi's eyes dropping to their hands. “T, you’re good, right?”

“I’m fine.” the taller girl grits her teeth, trying to regain her balance.

“See?”

Art sucks some air between his teeth, running his hand along Heaven’s arm, pulling her a little closer, speaking softly. “Hev, her knee, c’mon.” 

Tashi feels her skin crawl as Art and Heaven’s eyes drop to her leg. The fucking pity in Art’s voice. The frustration on Heaven’s face. She was so fucking sick of being injured. Her teammates were bad enough, but Art the fucking tennis player who is hellbent on stealing her girlfriend, and said success junkie girlfriend looking at her the way they were was literally too much to fucking bear. She couldn’t handle him feeling bad for her and Heaven looking at her like she was damaged good. She was already irritable because that loser Patrick had been blowing up her goddamn phone with nothing but excuses. Even after she’d made it clear she never wanted to see him again. Then she misses one recital. One goddamn opener and all of a sudden Heaven was ‘navigating’ a new relationship with Art. They weren’t breaking up, but now there are feelings between the two of them. She can understand the appeal of Art. He’s hot, a good player, successful in his own right. And desperate. A lovesick puppy, hearts damn near appearing in his eyes when the object of his affection is in the room. But he’s here and he’s a constant reminder of what her body is screaming it can’t do anymore. They both are. And her choosing him in Tashi’s face only made the pain worse. “Ignore him. Let’s keep going.”

Her voice sounds stronger in her head than it does out loud, leading her girlfriend to pause. “T, maybe Art’s right and you need a break?”

“Jesus fucking christ, fucking forget it.” she hisses, tossing her head back. “If you don’t want to help me you seriously just go.”

“I’m here to fucking help you!”

“You’re here to fuck Art, which is fine, trust me, I don’t fucking care.” Tashi shrugs, laughing humorlessly. 

“Hey, Tashi-” Art starts, standing between them.

“I’m here to help you, Tashi. That’s what I always do, that’s why I’m always here.” 

“Well, I don’t need your help right now. I really don’t need to fuck up my other leg.” Tashi finishes, crossing her arms. Heaven’s mouth drops open, eyes watering as she stares at her girlfriend in shock.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean was it supposed to be helpful finding out you’re cheating on me with our friend and then watching you fight with our boyfriend right before my match?” Tashi smoothes a hand over her messy ponytail, wetting her lips. “It’s fine, I forgive you. You too, thank you, for rubbing that in my face by the way, friend. I forgive you, for white knighting your way into my girlfriend’s pants and taking the time to let me know right before one of the biggest matches of my college career.”

Heaven’s eyes widen, turning to look between Art and Tashi, bottom lip wobbling as she holds back the tears that threaten to flood her eyes. Tashi rolls her own eyes to the sky, looking away as Art wraps his arm around Heaven, tugging her into a hug, murmuring an apology and stammering explanations into her hair. “Tashi, that’s not how it went, alright? All she ever does is try to think of you, and care about you.”

“Fucking kidding me.” the girl murmurs, limping to the other side of the court. Heaven watches as Tashi picks up a stray ball, bouncing it off of the fence and beginning to practice by herself. She shifts in Art’s arms, looking up at him. 

“I’m um, gonna stay with her for a while. Practice with her a bit. Can we…can I talk to you later?”

Blue and brown puppy dog eyes stare into her soul, and involuntary pout forming as Art lets Heaven send him off, chest tight as he feels his own wave of guilt overtake him. 

Art is anxious for the next few hours as he waits to hear from Heaven or Tashi. He’d hope they’d talk and call him back. But as day turned to night, he realized that the girls may have genuinely just needed him out of the way to continue peacefully practicing. 

He wishes he’d said more. Done more. Heaven and Tashi’s relationship is so complex, it feels like a minefield to navigate. Sometimes they’re friends, sometimes they’re girlfriends, sometimes it’s like they believe they’re the only two people in the world. He couldn’t step in and yell at Tashi, he wouldn’t want to, and even if he did, Heaven wouldn’t tolerate it for a second. He couldn’t bring himself to ask Heaven to leave with him. Partially because part of him wonders if what Tashi was starting to say was right. Did he ruin her life? He, Patrick, and Heaven, were walking out of this mess they made relatively unscathed and Tashi’s dreams were likely ruined. Anyone could look at the proud girl and know she’s devastated. Had her life been better without them in it? Had Heaven’s? 

The other reason being he’d feared what he would find out. It was one thing, to gain some confidence and beat Patrick out for something they both wanted. Someone. But his friend was liable to fuck up in some way, to lose the girls and leave room for Art to take his place. But Tashi was nearly flawless. She was so similar and different from Heaven, anyone could see they compliment each other. And Heaven loves her so much. Tashi has years worth of ‘I love you’ from Heaven under her belt. Art had just managed to get two to match his fifty. He didn’t want to know what would happen if he drew a line in the sand, held out his hand for Heaven when Tashi was going in the opposite direction. And so he’s careful. And he waits. He was choosing not to play a game he’s almost certain he would lose. 

It’s no shock to him when Heaven texts him at 1:25 in the morning to let him know she’d gone back to UCLA. He’d already packed a bag to take with him and had begun shoving one shoe on his foot, stumbling around the room as his phone vibrated with her message. He would chase her. Art would always chase her if he had to. Even if someone was pulling her away. 

But not if she didn’t want it. 

No. If Heaven decided she needed space, she didn’t…want him, he’d do what she wanted. Even if it hurts him. She’s worth it.

That’s exactly what he tells himself as he climbs into his twin sized bed, biting down on his own fist, willing himself not to cry when the phone brings him the message he was dreading.

I’ve got to think through some things. I think we need space…we did a bad thing Art.

Well, Tashi did warn him. When it came to Heaven, she’d never really lose.

2019 (California)

“Ouch this is getting to be brutal, you just can’t be missing shots like that.”

Tashi cuts her eyes toward Art, sipping her coffee silently as he meets her eyes, offering her a borderline sarcastic smile. 

“And there goes the racket.”

“He was playing really well.”

Tashi leans forward, placing her drink on the table before crossing her arms. “I’m pulling you out of Cincinnati.” 

“T-”

“Might as well pull you out of the Open too, if this isn’t gonna be your year then why bother?” she shrugs, kicking her feet back up onto the hotel couch. 

“I’m just rusty, it’s a confidence thing.”

“Get your fucking confidence back, I can’t do it for you. Heaven can’t do it for you.”

“No one is asking you to.” He sighs, grabbing his protein shake from the table. 

“When you play like that you are.” The door to the suite clicks open and Heaven comes in wearing a gym set, one headphone covering her ear, the other pushed back on her head. Art’s eyes follow her as she pauses, briefly making eye contact with him before leaning over the counter and typing on her phone. “I would fucking kill for a recovery like yours, a child, an old lady, fucking anybody.” 

“Okay, jesus.” Heaven calls from behind the couch, making her way over. She leans over the back of the couch, resting her forearms and curling her lip. 

Tashi shrugs again, adjusting herself to look at Heaven. “I mean we’re all adults here. Everyone has made decisions, if this is it, if this is all you guys want as your legacy that’s fine. We’ve all made enough money. We can retire, and be rich people, run the foundations.”

“Where are they?”

“In the living room.”

The three adults pause their conversation, all plastering easy looks onto their faces as Aurora comes bounding in, curls still dripping wet from the tub, plopping herself onto the couch between Tashi and Art. Tashi’s mom hovering in the doorway. 

“Hi, baby.” Tashi chirps, adjusting the girl’s Doc McStuffins nightgown. 

“Can we watch Spiderverse?” 

“Of course we can. Course we can, it’s just, we gotta talk about tennis right now.” Tashi pouts, running her hands along the little girl’s hair.

“But you’re always talking about tennis.”

“I know baby,” Tashi sends Art a pointed look, causing him to drag  his own eyes over to Heaven. The shorter woman stands behind the couch, rubbing her temples, eyes closed, refusing to look at either of them. “I know.” 

“Aurora, baby, I’ll watch with you. That’s like, my favorite movie.” Heaven smiles brightly, the grin not meeting her eyes as she walks around the front of the couch, taking Aurora’s hand in hers. “Besides, I’m getting pretty tired of talking about tennis too.”

Tashi picks up her phone, shaking her head as Art watches Heaven leave with Aurora, the separator for the bedroom closing shut behind them. “She likes it here. Aurora.” She snaps her phone shut. “Heaven doesn’t.”

“We could figure something out. Something more permanent. Or, closer to New York.” Art sighs, a pained expression on his face as he stares past Tashi at the doorway. 

“We could. I meant what I said. If this is all you can handle. It ends here.” The blond man swallows, bringing his gaze back to the woman in front of him. He knows it’s not true. It’s not okay if he can’t get them to the finish line. No matter how tired he is. “Or you can keep being a tennis player, which is what you are. What do you want?”

“I can play Cincinnati.”

“No, no you can’t. Not like this. Let me see.” Tashi crosses her legs as she scrolls through her phone, finally finding something she deems reasonable and scooting closer to Art, turning her phone to him. “Phil’s Tire Town, that seems promising.”

Art skims the information on the page and scoffs in disbelief, “That’s a challenger.”

“That, is exactly what you need to get your fuckin’ confidence back. Because in middle of fucking nowhere, Phil’s Tire Town, there will be absolutely nobody on the other side of the net who can shake your fucking confidence. Right?” She doesn’t wait for him to respond before she stands, declaring she was going to make a call to get him a spot.

He feels a wave of embarrassment at the thought of going to butt fuck nowhere to participate in the kind of Challenger he hadn’t participated in since he was 19. He’s fucking humiliated actually. But before the shame can overtake him, he catches sight of the gold band gleaming on his hand that he’d been sure to put back on as soon as his match was over. And any complaints he’d had are suddenly being drowned out by the fear of what would happen if he didn’t finish. 

“Tashi.”

“We had a deal, Art. I upheld my end, you uphold yours.”

[mariana-oconnor]

Charles Augustus Milverton pt 1

This one I remember. In multiple incarnations. I don't know why, but this guy sticks with me more than Moriarty in a lot of ways. ACD did a great job of making me absolutely disgusted with him. And I'm just going to start at the top and say Fuck Him. He's the worst.

...but now the principal person concerned is beyond the reach of human law, and with due suppression the story may be told in such fashion as to injure no one.

Watson for once waiting until people are dead to drag all their sordid secrets into the light. How kind of him.

Can't help but feeling with some things people probably wouldn't want them revealed even after death, especially considering the nature of this story, but sure.

We had been out for one of our evening rambles, Holmes and I, and had returned about six o'clock on a cold, frosty winter's evening.

They regularly have long night-time walks together. And before you say it isn't night-time, it gets dark in winter in the UK at 4pm in December, so yes they absolutely walking in the dark. I won't say starlight, because this is Victorian London and the chances of seeing the sky are close to zero, but lamplit, at least.

“Who is he?” I asked. “The worst man in London,” Holmes answered

Ah, so that's why I have it so reinforced in my brain that he is the actual worst. Because he is literally introduced as the Actual Worst.

"Do you feel a creeping, shrinking sensation, Watson, when you stand before the serpents in the Zoo and see the slithery, gliding, venomous creatures, with their deadly eyes and wicked, flattened faces? Well, that's how Milverton impresses me. I've had to do with fifty murderers in my career, but the worst of them never gave me the repulsion which I have for this fellow."

Tonight the part of Charles Augustus Milverton will be played by:

But seriously, though. The emphasis that is put on how much Holmes loathes this person. Moriarty, he respected, even appreciated as an opponent, but Milverton makes his skin crawl.

This does seem like snake slander, though. What did the snakes do to deserve this?

"The fellow is a genius in his way, and would have made his mark in some more savoury trade. His method is as follows: He allows it to be known that he is prepared to pay very high sums for letters which compromise people of wealth or position. He receives these wares not only from treacherous valets or maids, but frequently from genteel ruffians who have gained the confidence and affection of trusting women."

Capitalism meet blackmail. Blackmail meet capitalism. I'm sure you're going to get along just great.

“She is to be married in a fortnight to the Earl of Dovercourt. This fiend has several imprudent letters—imprudent, Watson, nothing worse—which were written to an impecunious young squire in the country."

Could go on for a year about the utter bullshit of 'reputation' and 'honour' for women in this era and before. The way he says 'imprudent, nothing worse' indicates to me that she's just sent some slightly romantic letters. I'm guessing that there's nothing really racy about them, and even if they were. Why does anyone even care? It's all so much fucking nonsense. And if you get rid of the stigma and societal judgement attached to such things (which literally hurt no one) then people like Milverton wouldn't be able to do anything to the women. Yes, Milverton is a dickbag of astounding proportions, but he couldn't exist without society itself ensuring his continued survival with its bullshit purity culture and hypocrisy.

Attaching shame to non-harmful actions only hurts innocent people and allows horrible people to flourish. Fuck that bullshit.

/rant

Charles Augustus Milverton was a man of fifty, with a large, intellectual head, a round, plump, hairless face, a perpetual frozen smile, and two keen grey eyes, which gleamed brightly from behind broad, golden-rimmed glasses.

Of course he has a big head. He's been described as a genius, therefore his head must be large 😂.

“My dear sir, it is painful for me to discuss it; but if the money is not paid on the 14th there certainly will be no marriage on the 18th.” His insufferable smile was more complacent than ever.

Oh so painful for him to discuss.

“They are sprightly—very sprightly,” Milverton answered. “The lady was a charming correspondent. But I can assure you that the Earl of Dovercourt would fail to appreciate them."

WTF does 'sprightly' mean? Maybe I was wrong, maybe she was writing erotica to the squire. Honestly, if her husband judges her for it, then he's also a dick. Ugh ugh ugh. This man is such a prick. I hate him.

“There you make a mistake, Mr. Holmes. An exposure would profit me indirectly to a considerable extent. I have eight or ten similar cases maturing. If it was circulated among them that I had made a severe example of the Lady Eva I should find all of them much more open to reason. You see my point?”

Ah, marketing...

"I assure you that I am armed to the teeth, and I am perfectly prepared to use my weapons, knowing that the law will support me."

Here he presupposes that a) he would win and b) Holmes wouldn't be able to hide his body and cover up his death effectively. That seems a little shortsighted of him.

But yes, we leave with Holmes seemingly foiled for now, and disguised for a bit of... perhaps burglary? We know from the last story how much he enjoys burglary.

[furiousgoldfish]

Hii. Honestly I’m still confused whether I experienced abuse or not or what it was or even how bad it even was.

Basically, I’ve been homeschooled my whole life (well, until I was 10, when it became unschool, and most of my education knowledge that isn’t words and random stuff I’ve learned is still there, especially math.), never had a job nor probably ever will because I’m disabled, probably have ADHD+autism and definitely have depression+ocd, and the last physical friend I had was probably when I was about 12 or so (I’m 18 now). We live in an rv in a super small town and have been since I was 12 or 13ish. And I have an older brother. Honestly I feel kinda isolated, and even if something bad happened, I wouldn’t have anywhere to go.

Anyways, when I was around 9 or 10 or so apparently I started to get burnt out, and that turned into really bad depression when my grandparents died (and so did a bunch of other extended family members before them). My mom had to be a caretaker for my grandfather for nearly a whole year and my dad stayed home with me and my brother but all I remember during that time is escapism, binging for comfort, and my dad playing video games all day. Also one time I threw a notebook at a doctor because I was so overwhelmed and wasn’t getting any help.

Around 14 to 15, I was a real menace, constantly fighting everyone and stuff. This led to quite a few instances where I’d get into an argument with my mom and she would hit me or threaten to hit me. I remember one time I refused to get off my couch because I wanted to know why they were wanting me off and they ended up physically dragging me off the bed and hitting me. Another bed time, I was making my bed (which was rare for me to manage to get myself to do) but my dad stepped on my pillow with his shoes after coming inside and I got upset because it got stepped on and was probably dirty now but kept my upsetness to stomping. But then I got into an argument with my mom (and hissed at my dad) and it escalated until she hit me (apparently out of disappointment). Also she took away most of my bedding, and then after that on a day we went to the store (so I was gone all day) and she made a comment about me not bothering to do my bed, despite the fact I wasn’t even home to do it, the last time I attempted she hit me, and I barely had much of a bed to make (two pillows, one blanket, and my stuffie)

I also remember one time my dog tried to protect me and she threatened to get rid of my dog. As well as a time when she told me I could leave (with what money or place to go? I was literally in a city I’d barely seen because we moved there to be in an rv park, I had no job, no family or friends nearby to go to). I also came out as nonbinary (I’m a trans man now) and they were pretty transphobic at first, though my mom eventually educated herself and isn’t anymore.

And one time I got worried about a mask I was wearing during covid era being dirty and my mom telling me I should’ve stayed home (also they hated the mask mandated and I’m pretty sure at least mentally rolled their eyes when I chose to wear my mask even when they didn’t whenever it wasn’t mandated). There was also a time I spoke a bit too fast (I have a habit of fast talking sometimes) and my dad said I will not speak that way in his presence and I think also threatened to spank me.

Nowadays the worst that’s happened is my mom yelled at me for asking too many times whether the door was locked or not (it was broken and I couldn’t understand if it was locked locked or just in the locked position), my dad spends most of the day outside in our truck and every time I attempt to talk with him it usually ends up not good. I tried to show him music, he ended up playing his nearly an hour long of music in the middle of the ONE song I attempted to show him (never finished my song to this day), tried to talk about him not using my pronouns and it ended with him going off about politics and saying a few slurs and me needing to wipe myself clean because our shower isn’t available and I smelt like smoke. Tried to talk about him using his phone at the theaters because I wanted to take him with me and my mom to see a movie and it ended with me leaving him behind so that we could actually enjoy the movie. Tried to show him (very cute but a few crop tops) clothes I wanted to get and ended with him talking about being a peeping Tom as a teen and me feeling like my clothes were sexualed and uncomfortable in my own skin.

Also recently my brother poked my leg to get my attention and then after I told him not to (because he’d just come in from outside and my OCD has been horrible recently so i was a little convinced his touch was contaminated and was trying really hard to not get up and douse the spot in antiseptic) he did it again and I ended up hitting him with my tablet (I will admit I already attempted once before then, and he later said it didn’t even hurt when I managed to hit him) and then he used his fists on me and I ended up curled up on my bed screaming and crying because it hurt (and he bent my glasses). When my mom woke up and came over to see what was happening I curled up again and asked her not to hit me (because one time years ago me and my brother got into a bit of a physical scuffle and she hit me when she woke up and came to see what happened). My arm still hurts, but I’m thankful I covered my head because otherwise I’m worried I would’ve gotten a concussion or something. I’m pretty sure I was 100% definitely in the wrong and the abusive one in this situation here. It was really weird because afterwards I didn’t want to be touched (not even virtually) and then when I wanted to be touched again (the only option was virtually by a friend) it made me anxious and unsure.

When I bring it all up to my mom, she says she did her best and made mistakes, but didn’t abuse me. She said she’s seen what real abuse is and I would’ve left. Also when she found out I told a friend about things, and my friend said it wasn’t good, she said I was choosing to make them look bad. Also anytime I bring up issues about my dad (like him feeling like a stranger), she says he’s always been this way (he’s schizotypal) or that I must’ve forgotten when he was involved (which no duh, I barely remember my childhood)

It was abuse. I am so sorry. This sounds absolutely awful. The amount of neglect and violence you were enduring, and how scared you were of it.

Your mother's response is the exact response of abusive parents. My parents also told me that 'they know what real abuse is', and that I'm 'making them look bad if I ever say anything to anyone'. And the way she defends your father, it's all just excuses, you are right to be upset and to point it out.

You were dealing with so much, right from the start, so many struggles to go through, and with all this you were isolated, in a strange place with nowhere else to go. All your issues have been either completely neglected or made worse by your closest family members, and the violence you describe is devastating.

Nobody should have ever hit you. A child who is overwhelmed with sensory issues, OCD, and struggles with depression and ADHD, is not a menace. Adults can deal with children who get aggressive without violence, it's not hard to disarm a child or to get distance, they're literally smaller and weaker and not an actual threat. There is never any need to completely control them or to threaten violence. It sounds like the way they did it was so devastating for you, you ended up absolutely terrified of when they would hit you again. You lived with that fear all along and when your brother hit you so bad that he bent your glasses and hurt you so much, your first thought was fear that your mother would hit you again too.

You were in your house, surrounded by your closest family members, and you were terrified out of your mind of what they were going to do to you. You should have been in the safest place in the world. You should have been loved, cared and safe there. There was no more terrifying place for you than that rv.

You couldn't have left either, your mother knows that.

All of them should have made sure to accommodate your ocd and to not make it worse. They should have helped you manage all of the issues, and be mindful of your depression. Nobody should have even thought of hitting you, threatening you or acting like your pain doesn't matter. I'm so sorry that you've been so alone in this. It is awful what you've been put through.

I hope things get better, and that you get more kindness, gentleness and compassion in your life. You deserve to live comfortably, with no fear or shame. You've done nothing to deserve any of that.

Also I'm astounded they managed to completely neglect your right to education! I don't know where you live but it sounds illegal, you had the right to be completely educated, regardless of disability or issues, you still have the right to it, and if you can, I hope you will pursue it, because it's never too late to find out basic information, and it will help you navigate the world. I don't know what the procedure is to pursue education after this kind of neglect but I know there has to be a way. If anyone knows more about this, please write it in the replies or comments.

[healeroflightanddark]

Two Golden Rings, Chapter 2: Prenup

Yuya was feeling a little nervous as he waited for Yuri to arrive. He was planning on asking his fiance for something that he felt was very important for them to get married, but he wasn’t sure how Yuri would react to the request.

Yuri had always been a difficult person to figure out. He enjoyed making suggestive comments towards Yuya, often flirting and making the tomato-head blush, and he was amazing in bed, but he also tended to be distant and cold at times. Yuya loved Yuri to death, but he was a little worried that the cabbage would call off the engagement if he misunderstood the intent of his request.

The front door of Yuya’s house opened, and in walked his fiance, looking as handsome as ever. But he had a look on his face, one that Yuya had learned to associate with his more distant and cold moods. Oh boy, this wasn’t going to go well.

“Hello, Yuya,” Yuri said, sitting down on the couch next to his fiance. “So, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? You said it was something important regarding our engagement?”

Yuya nodded, taking a deep breath. “I… uhm… well… how would you feel about a prenup?” he asked nervously.

Yuri’s amethyst eyes widened and he stared at Yuya in shock, mouth slightly open. Yuya fidgeted a little and quickly tried to explain his reasoning for the suggestion, “I’m not saying that I think we’ll ever get divorced, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you! It’s just… I’ve always felt like a prenup should be a requirement for any marriage to be legal, and we both have things we’d want to protect in the worst case scenario, and I just—”

He was cut off by Yuri suddenly throwing his arms around him and silencing his rambling with a passionate kiss. This wasn’t what Yuya had been expecting, but it certainly helped put him at ease. When they broke the kiss, Yuya was slightly breathless and Yuri began peppering his face in kisses.

“I love you so much, my dear Yuya!~” Yuri murmured, all distance and coldness replaced with affection and warmth. He’d heard of bad emotions melting away, but had always thought it was just an expression. But now he really felt like all his doubts and worries about his engagement were literally melting away. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you!”

“Huh?” Yuya was confused, but very receptive to the sudden affection. Yuri nuzzled his cheek and explained, “All of my previous partners were gold-diggers. They only ever wanted me for my money, and even my ex-fiance was after my wealth. I was actually going to tell you that if we were going to get married, we’d have to sign a prenup. My ex-fiance threw a tantrum when I told her the same, because she wanted to be able to cash out if we divorced. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve always had doubts about whether you loved me for me, or for my money. I know you’ve never asked me to spend money on you, but I could never get rid of that little voice telling me that my money was the only thing anyone would love about me…”

Yuya hugged him tightly. “Oh, Yuri, it’s okay! I understand now!” The random bouts of coldness and distance suddenly made sense. Those must’ve been the times when Yuri was overwhelmed by his doubts. The tomato-head kissed his fiance’s cheek. “I’m not upset with you, either. I’m sure if I were in your position, I’d have doubts too.”

“I do feel bad though,” Yuri sighed. “I always spoiled all of my exes rotten, buying them lavish gift, paying for expensive vacations, etc, yet by the time you and I started dating I was so jaded from all the gold digging that I didn’t spoil you the same way. I’ve never bought you an expensive gifts, or taken you on vacations, and I rarely ever pay for our dates.”

“It’s okay, Yuri!” Yuya reassured him. “I don’t mind at all! Just knowing you’re mine and I’m yours is enough for me!”

“Well, it’s not enough for me!” Yuri declared, pulling Yuya into his lap for cuddles. “I’m going to start spoiling you properly! You deserve it! You’ve always been the perfect partner!”

Yuya started to protest, but Yuri silenced him with a kiss. “My dear Yuya, you’re not like my exes after all! You never ask for anything. And the fact that you suggested a prenup… you’ve put my mind at ease. You’re the kind of partner I want to spend money on. Let me spoil you!”

Yuya hesitated, then lay his head on his fiance’s shoulder. “Alright, but only when you want to, okay?” he said softly.

Yuri smiled, pleased with his sweet fiance’s words. He gently took Yuya’s chin in his hand and turned his head to face him. Yuya blushed brightly when he saw the seductive smile on Yuri’s face.

“My sweet, precious Yuya!~” Yuri purred. “Let me show you my appreciation!~”

[talenlee]

The Worst People Unalive

For years now I’ve been holding back on penning this description of one of the worst places in Cobrin’Seil, and only because it’s the worst in a different way to you’d expect. Oh it’s a tightly controlled city with a gaggle of liches trading favours at the top making the whole place a necromantically controlled undead polity, but the real problem the city has is its housing rates and fad technology bubbles.

Welcome to Uxaion.

The player’s basics

Here’s your high-level pitch. Uxaion is a necromantic cyberpunk city where it’s always night and people and gangs squabble in the underclass dealing with economics of living in a rich place where the richest people are able to literally siphon off your life if they can make you desperate enough to give it. It’s a city haunted by capitalism, where even if only one in four of the Startup Necromancer businesses that are Changing The World are run by an Evil Necromancer, that’s still a shitload more Evil Necromancers per head. It’s an adventure city where it’s always grimy and you have pacts with ghosts and the undead and people flip open skulls they use for communication with The Boss.

It’s one of a number of states in Cobrin’Seil that have the appleation of necrostate. One of them, The Osteon, has already shown up in a conversation about The Szudetken, where there, the undead are both sanitised and used as a form of mass industrialisation. The Osteon is very Victorian. Uxaion (“Out of Time”, they claim) is much more Big Tech, Big Noise, Big Indulgence. The city is decorated in vibrant paints and bright colours and ugly architecture because they can always spend to maintain things and the living feed the dead with their time and effort. Being a necrostate is obviously politically fraught, because most other places are either jealous of you (oh wow, no continuity of government problems and no fear of death if I, a king, live forever), or deeply worried by what you represent (wow, we couldn’t get rid of one of our shitty kings?). This gives the city a tenuous position politically, almost no form of extradition or legal imposition of other countries, but also not isolation.

Some example characters that might come from Uxaion:

A boneyarder, someone who works for or around the criminal gangs that populate the underclass of Uxaion. You may have necrosymbiotes or a soul pact, or a contract with a necromancer for your resuscitation

A worker in the city who has to bounce between the Response-Incident Patrollers, Private Security Firms and gangs in order to navigate their day. They may have a day job that involves running rituals for hours at a time to maintain their work spot until something goes wrong one day.

One of the experiments of the necrotic state! Who’s to say you haven’t been brought back for a bad reason and now you’re putting together your new life, while trying to find a way out of the contractual ownership your resurrector thinks they have over you?

A necromantic prodigy, trained in the city to wield the magic of death, full of idealistic ways your gift can be used while being surrounded by people who are just using it for The Worst Possible Reasons.

Important inspirations for Uxaion are Planescape Torment, Hard Wired Island, Cyberpunk 2077 (just the memes), The Locked Tomb, silicon valley excess, fads like ‘AI’ and blockchain and uber app style services, the housing crisis, and the need in the real world for people to be toppled and have their entire worlds burned. In minecraft, there are people who need to burn.

Uxaion

Island Urbanised Independent Micronation, The Spectral City

Cultures

Uxaion is one city, on a set of islands, spread across a variety of districts. Most people who live there live in the poorer areas, known as ‘Minimal Needs’ Housing, which is to say, just a bit better than a closet in which people store skeletons. The greatest burden of the people in Uxaion is the needs for housing, which, thanks to the island’s hunger for both space to do experiments in and people to do experiments on, puts a lot of living in the city under pressure. As large cities, almost all cultures are extremely common, but particularly of note, in Uxaion, undead characters like Revenants and Necropolitans are much more common.

While Goblins show up everywhere, they are much less common in Uxaion than you’d expect, and often are part of very small family units of only 2-3 Goblins at at time. Abilen traders also regularly visit, but very rarely live in Uxaion, due to its constant night and inclement weather.

Common: Half-Elves, Half-Orcs, Halflings, Humans Uncommon: Eladrin, Elves, Kobolds, Orcs, Tieflings, Shadar-Kai Rare: Abilen, Dio Baragh, Drow, Goblins

Reputation

Opinions on Uxaion are mixed. They’re absolutely known for their necromancy, and if you know only one thing about the place, it’s that it’s a necrostate. The chain of islands have one large linked city spread across them, with some smaller islands regarded as holding areas or holding housing estates meant for the richest members of the society. You may even know about the way the city has positioned itself, and manipulated the sky, so that it is always night there, somehow.

Uxaion may mean to you, a place of immense magical research, with a great university system and a willingness to engage in complex magic that has been considered ‘too dangerous’ in the past. They’ve done amazing things in the field of medical research, saving and restoring lives, communicating with ghosts, and even undoing magical fallout from terrible curse. You might know Uxaion as a place that normal people can go, and can sign up for amazing projects that may help them cheat death or become fabulously wealthy, in exchange for life force or unique practices.

Uxaion may also mean to you its profile of tall spired towers, full of magical research, and a population of indulgent, reckless undead leaders who are constantly searching for novelties. They’re a place that invents new games and new ways to have fun and tries reckless new things, because they know they’re dead and they know they can be restored.

If you’re from Uxaion you probably know those things are overblown. Yeah, there are the reseachers. Yeah, the rulers of the city, the Necropolitans, are undead. Yeah, there’s a lot of use of ghost energy to power the trains and the lights, and yeah, the undead are common sights across the city. But who isn’t and what isn’t? It’s a city, like a lot of others, built across the water, and full of people who are, generally, just trying to live their lives.

locals

If you live in Uxaion, you are complaining about the rent. You may also be complaining about the latest fad the necromancers are working on because that’s a new thing you’re going to have to hear about that’s going to change everything before they eventually go back to doing the basic three necromancer things of bones, zombies, and ghosts, but much more annoyingly. You are almost certainly overworked and underpaid, and a lot of the things and spaces you would rely on to give you community are limited or under stress. The most common place people gather is a bar, because almost all the park space in the city is private, and almost all the privatised park space has been replaced with necromantic experiment spaces.

You might be on a contract with a necromancer, to give a little of your life force regularly. You may have a postmortem contract lined up, meaning that when you die, you can work off a debt as a resurrected undead. Some of these contracts even split you into a ghost and a zombie, so your two halves can work at the type of labour they can do in the name of working off a debt. Most of these debts are so brutal and set up so predatorially, you may just be working now to pay off the interest. What’s more, you might not have earned the debt directly, and instead inherited it, or had it bequeathed to you by someone gaming a system of legal debt and re-dying.

You might be in a gang. You might have to deal with the city’s most common type of guard, the Response-Incident Patrollers who believe themselves entitled to taking samples of your blood when they inspect you, or the ones who demand you swallow a tooth as a security measure while talking to you. You may live somewhere the RIP don’t operate and have to deal with one of the major research guild’s street guards. You may have a weapon you keep at home to defend yourself because you know you don’t live somewhere nice enough for the two different flavours of watch to protect you. You probably know something that could be valuable to someone, if you just gave up on trying to play by the rules, and be nice.

Travellers

Lots of people have reason to travel to Uxaion and also to leave Uxaion. Uxaion is one of the most active cities per capita of Adventurers, because a lot of the businesses that work there employ Adventurers’ Guild operators to do work of various types. It’s the step in respectability above gang member, but also crucially, still lets those Adventurers interface with gangs.

Travel to and from Uxaion is by boat, which means that you can be stuck on the islands for a time, based on a transport contract or a holdup in the company managing your ferry. This can make travel to the city relatively easy, but out of it hard. This is not seen as a bug by the city’s administration and more of a feature in case of people trying to leave while still having debts or contracts.

Rivalries

Officially, Uxaion has no ill will with, and no problem with, the Eresh Protectorate. In fact, they’ve floated the idea of applying to become a member of the Eresh Protectorate, and have even at times, documented the paperwork necessary to apply. What they’ve heard in response, before the paperwork was delivered, was that the Eresh Protectorate has never had to refuse an application before, so they better not apply and make themselves the first.

This is because if you’re going to join the Eresh Protectorate, part of what makes it easy is the diverse power base of the Protectorate. Across all its cities, there are basically six major power blocks.

The Eresh Crown, which is extremely pragmatic and largely amoral in terms of expanding its access to power. They do not care about Uxaion and would view its application acceptably if they could arrange any coalition of other power bases to support it.

The Tzarumites, who are extremely legal and law driven, and who have a firm policy against necrostates. This is partly ideologically driven (undead icky), but it’s also heavily entwined with the idea that any law written has to be considered precedent. Because of this Tzarumites are extremely reluctant to open any new space in the law code that can’t be done with regulation and control already in place. Any laws passed for operating with necrostate actors would be absolutely not fit for purpose and would not be evident as being so for centuries. Simply put: It’s too hard to make laws for undead state actors.

The Raguzans, who are libertine and free roaming find the idea of contracts that last beyond death, that people couldn’t escape, as absolutely horrifying. If such individuals fled Uxaion and the Raguzans were asked to recover them, it would be, in their opinion, asking them to be slavetakers. In these negotiations, the Ragauzan Praetor promised that if Uxaion became a member of the Eresh protectorate, their first action would be declare war against it, and win.

The Lethenites, who are scholarly and extremely focused on magical containment find the Uxaion ideology of revolutionary magical technology irresponsible. Especially, they find the way that Uxaion treats undeath as an all-purpose solution to all problems as untrustworthy. They see the entire city as an ongoing project in playing with Demon Cores, and refuse to sanction it.

The Chardunists, who are spies and investigators who focus on protecting psychics across the Protectorate. They ostensibly have not voted against Uxaion but have communicated that if Uxaion joined the Protectorate, they would start assassinating people and not stop until they weren’t concerned about the association any more. Basically, Chardunists favour direct action over votes.

The Church of Olifar, a Catholic-like organisation that’s kind of Pauline Christian in their idea that ‘we would really rather you focus on this’ as a matter of ongoing holiness. Not in the ‘women suck’ way. The Church of Olifar holds that undeath is a moral failing, and while lots of people disagree, they’re a hard no on accepting a necrostate.

So with two potential declarations of war on the books, Uxaion decided not to apply for the Eresh Protectorate. They still consider them a great trading partner and have built ports for Halfling trade ships, but there’s no direct linke Uxaion and the King’s Highway.

trade

The most common thing for Uxaion to export is magical technology. While some of this is pretty obvious, things like cursed weapons, necromantic devices and traps, it’s a much more profitable trade over time to work with businesses in terms of long-term services. Uxaion, bar none, have the absolute best technology in the world for corpse preservation, so Uxaion wizards are hired by large companies and guilds for things like protecting records of the dead or reconstructing data from historical battlefields, while also being used for making meat more widely transportable while fresh.

Uxaion’s systems have even given rise to some really useful services that other countries export and trade for. Resurrecting dead languages through direct consultation with their speakers, healing of extremely challenging injuries through recreation of bone and lost flesh, safe and reliable building materials that can be trusted to not harm an ecology (through bone), Uxaion are doing things that people want to pay for. But also, as a state, most countries don’t directly deal with Uxaion, and prefer to deal with middleperson like the Halfling Trade Houses. Uxaion does trade directly with Seibelmarsh but they have no current access to the Osteon.

They do trade with Visente, with one of the most common things traded between them being day labourers – it’s not uncommon for people from Visente to boat over to Uxaion for a six or nine month contract doing some kind of service job, before heading back to Visente.

What Uxaion needs the most of is raw materials, which given their endless appetite for novelty and constant exploration of stupid ideas kind of makes them a perfect consumer of almost everything. Almost all kinds of farm good gets imported to the island and purchased, and if you want to eat anything that wasn’t made by a necromancer, you’re going to be eating stuff that was imported recently.

And thus Uxaion. It’s a place of contradictions; high tech, no life. It’s important to me to give a place like this room to be both a stable place with legitimate reasons for existing and also a garbage place that any player character would want to avoid, or escape.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[fuck-customers]

FUCK MY MANAGER GOD DAMMIT

My old store manager moved states so we have a temporary store manager until the new one finishes his training and she’s the FUCKING WORST.

She’s a know it all and doesn’t like to admit she’s wrong. She’ll rearrange certain bar stations (I work at a coffee shop- you can guess which one) so they make NO SENSE and then we have slow prep times because we have to get used to the new setup. She schedules literally EVERYONE just the right amount of time to where we don’t get half our breaks (i.e. scheduling us 5 hours and 45 minutes). I haven’t had a break at work in over a month. She ignores availability and then gets mad at us when we call off because we weren’t available to begin with and can’t find coverage because the schedule is fucked. When I got COVID, she didn’t answer my calls or my texts all day and then decided to call me the next day from the store at 5 am and ask me why I had bothered her the day before.

The worst thing she’s done, though- before she came to the store we had a little area in the cafe with a Polaroid of every barista and shift manager as well as a little cup of positivity that had handwritten notes from the baristas for the customers to take, and also a positivity board with post it notes for customers to write on and post in the cafe. We would have a partner spotlight every week where we would feature the barista’s picture, their favorite drink and a fun fact about them, and we would have a customer of the week with a Polaroid of them and their regular order.

One of the first things the temp store manager did when she got here? Threw away our Polaroids, threw away our notes, threw away the board. Got rid of the highlights. The only thing that sits there now is her business card. She did all of this without asking anyone.

All I’m saying is she shouldn’t be surprised if her cards end up in the garbage. We’re all fed up.

My shift manager told me that if I retake the Polaroids and put them back up, she won’t stop me and will vouch for me if the store manager has a problem. I just might.

[dracowars]

Hello! i was wondering if u could do a draco imagine where the reader & draco are prefects and they started to have feelings for each other and they both love to tease each other!! im bad at explaing things but i hope that made sense :) love ur writing btw <3

perfect prefect | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x reader

word count: 1,8k

summary: where y/n and draco love to tease each other

a/n: i hope you like this and that it lives up to your expectations <3

warnings: none

universe: harry potter

Like a shadow you move as quietly as possible through the dark corridors of the big School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, always careful not to be seen by anyone or to not directly walk into someone. You work your way through Hogwarts and its millions of angled hallways, walking close to the brick walls until you finally reach the stairs leading down to the dungeons and you carefully stride them down.

Just before you get downstairs, you suddenly hear a loud meow in the distance and hurriedly run up the stairs again and hide behind the closest corner, pressing your body firmly against the cold wall, holding your breath.

Carefully looking around the corner with your head, you can see the mean caretaker Filch walking up the stairs with his cat Mrs. Norris in the dark. Filch suspiciously looks in your direction through the straight and long corridor, holding up his dim lantern. Immediately, you pull your head back with a jerk, but thankfully hear his loud footsteps vanish in the distance as he goes away from your current position.

Just when you are about to breathe a sigh of relief and step out of your cover, it meows right in front of your feet, causing you to take a step back in shock.

Mrs. Norris is sitting right in front of you and angrily glares at you through her yellowish eyes while she meows louder and louder to draw her owner's attention to herself. The footsteps that had become quieter a short time before are now getting louder and closer by each second that passes.

Just before Filch is about to turn the corner and you are already preparing yourself for the worst, out of nowhere a hand covers your mouth from behind and pulls you back. Everything blurs in front of your eyes for a moment and when you have a clear view again, you are no longer in the corridor, but in an empty classroom.

Startled, you turn around, ready to fight your attacker, when you realize that the person is only your beloved friend, Draco Malfoy.

"Bloody hell, Draco! You scared me to death!", you sigh out loud, your hand on top of your heart which is pounding hard against your chest.

"But I saved you from Filch and his filthy animal", he proudly exclaims. "Without my help you would probably be on your way to Dumbledore by now."

"I am a prefect. He would probably have thought that I was doing my nightly rounds around Hogwarts and not that I was on my way to meet a certain someone", you defend yourself since you do not want to admit that he actually saved you from expulsion.

"Is this certain someone coincidentally incredibly good looking and does that certain someone have eyes in which you can lose yourself and see the star- Ouch!", he cries out loudly as you loosely slap his upper arm, walking past him to the door of the classroom to get out of there.

"That description does not apply to him at all. I am afraid I have to destroy your dreams", you tease him, a playful smile playing around your lips while you straighten the skirt of your uniform.

"Well, if so, then good luck strutting through the corridors on your own without getting caught", Draco shrugs nonchalantly and gives you a look you cannot quite interpret as he is now the one to walk past you, reaching the door before you can. Turning around to look over your shoulder from behind, you feel his hot breath against your neck.

"But when you have reached your desired destination, you will unfortunately not meet this certain someone, because this certain someone currently has to continue patrolling the hallways", he whispers in your ear, but cannot stop himself from giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you."

Quickly, you turn around and grab his wrist as he was just about to open the door, preventing him from leaving. With a devious grin he looks at you, silently waiting for you to say something.

"Stop it, you dumbass", you roll your eyes in playful annoyance and gently pull him closer to you, your faces now only inches apart. Draco's gaze switches between your beautiful, shimmering eyes to your full lips as he suddenly leans in and you close your eyes automatically.

You already feel Draco's breath against your lips when all of a sudden the door to the classroom is opened and Draco jumps away, quickly hiding you behind him, protecting you from the person that is now stepping into the room at this moment.

"Draco?"

"Blaise?"

"What are you doing in here? Shouldn't you be checking the corridors?", Blaise asks him reproachfully and does not seem to have noticed you until you peek over Draco's shoulder and his eyes widen as he spots you.

"Oh, I see. So that is what you are doing in here. Gross", he says, disgusted, and grimaces accordingly. "Then I will not bother you two any longer-"

"Stop, Blaise! It is not like that!", you interrupt him and come out from behind Draco's back, pretending that there wasn't always something between you and Draco that everyone already knew about before you did yourself.

Blaise nods understandingly, but something on his face tells you that he does not believe a single word you just told him. Nevertheless, he says goodbye and leaves the room again, leaving Draco and you in an uncomfortable silence.

"That was close", Draco breathes out heavily and gently takes your smaller hand in his own. "Let us get out of here as well. I will take you back to your dormitory."

Turning around and wanting to pull you with him, he goes to the door but you do not move, which is why he looks back at you irritated, a big question mark over his head as to why you are not following him.

"I do not want to go", you say, barely audible, and look straight into his gray eyes. "We do not see each other very much lately and now that we have finally made it, you quickly want to get rid of me again. If you do not want to spend time with me anymore, then why don't you just tell me, Draco?"

"What are you even talking about, Y/N? You know that it is not true", Draco assures you, putting his hand on your temple, pulling your head towards him to place a kiss on your forehead. "I like you. Like a lot. I like you more than you know. How about we walk around together and you tell me about your week?"

Your face overflowing with joy, you nod in agreement and a happy smile forms on both of your faces. Draco takes your hand back in his and leads the way out of the empty classroom and into the corridor, but not without checking first that Filch or his cat are not coming around the corner at any moment.

You walk next to each other in silence for a few minutes until Draco finally speaks up as you walk down the stairs to the first floor, your hands still intertwined.

"Actually, you know, I should have deducted house points from you for your naughty nightly excursion", he tells you, looking straight ahead, but you can clearly see the grin on his lips regardless. Offended, you hit his upper arm again, this time a little bit harder than before.

"Very funny, you wag", you giggle softly. "If it wasn't for you, I would not have gotten out of my cozy and warm bed in the first place."

"So you are saying that you are doing all of this just for me?"

"Of course, Draco."

"How do I deserve this?", he abruptly stops you as you have reached the bottom of the stairs and wraps his hands around your waist. Your arms sneak around his neck by themselves and you do your best to fake a real looking thoughtful face.

"Because you are such an incredibly great and responsible prefect", you explain with a smile, but he just shakes his head in disappointment, probably expecting you to say something else, and breaks the eye contact, focusing his gaze to the ground.

"Have you ever doubted that? Who else should become head boy in our seventh year if not me?", he covers up his disappointment, questioningly raising one of his eyebrows at you.

"You?", you snort and move away from him, covering your mouth with your hand to prevent yourself from laughing too loud. Draco give you a extremely offended look while you are busy with keeping your laughing fit as quiet as possible.

"What is so funny!?"

"Oh, it is just.. Who is the one here that is always so extraordinary friendly to the first years? Like the one time last year when-"

"Okay, okay!", he interrupts your ramblings by putting his hand over your mouth. However, he is still not able to stop your giggling. "Can you please shut up?"

"I am in favor of Blaise becoming the head boy anyway. He is really good at what he does", you continue to tease the poor platinum haired boy and he rolls his eyes, this time literally, annoyed and continues on his patrol without you.

"Wait! Hold up! Where are you going?", you call after him before you catch up with him again. Because his facial expression, or rather his pout, already gives it away, you do not even have to ask what is wrong.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy. Are you jealous?"

"You wish."

"So you are", you whisper, more to yourself than to him, and stop in your tracks as he keeps walking.

"Hey, do not walk away like this!", you command and put your hand on his shoulder so that he actually comes to a stop. "You did not really take my words seriously, did you?"

Draco sighs dejectedly and lowers his head, but you are quick to put your hand under his chin and guide it up to make him look at you.

"Come on, Draco. You know I did not mean it. I actually think you are a great prefect and that you will become an even better head boy", you smile at him while you fix his green tie with your other hand, your cheeks a little bit red from being so close to him. "I always stand behind you."

Shyly making eye contact with him again, you notice the small smile on his lips and in the next moment you suddenly feel his tender lips pressed against your. He puts so much emotion into the kiss and your heart is about to jump out of your chest as he abruptly stops.

"I love you", he whispers against your lips after breaking the kiss. "I always did."

"I love you too", you smile blissfully happy, although he himself had known for a long time already. "My perfect prefect."

[lubdubsworld]

Falling for you ( Falling from grace) Jungkook

Read Chapter 1 here

Read Chapter 2 here 

Rated : 18 +

Warning : . Fuck buddies? Or rather enemies that have sex. They just really hate each other but also can’t keep their hands off each other. Fair warning this has no plot. its just them being idiots .

Chapter 3

“We’re not doing this here again....this is going to be a one time thing. ” I panted into his mouth as he pressed me up against the inside of the supply closet. Jungkook hummed, fingers making quick work of my work pants, yanking them down fast. I stumbled out of them, gasping when he grabbed the back of my thighs, lifting my leg up to wrap around his waist, rolling his hardness into me. 

“That's probably fair. I can’t think straight when you’re around me at the office...you know....makes me think of a thousand things i could do to you...” He leaned into me, kissing along my neck, sucking and biting the thin skin before gently laving it with his tongue. 

“ A thousand? Really?” I laughed despite myself. 

“Sure....your perky little breasts for example. The way your nipples tend to poke out when the Ac’s a little too cold.... They look like they can cut glass...” He cupped my breasts through my blouse, thumbing at the tip till I felt my head roll back, hitting the door with a thud. “ I want to kiss and lick and suck on them....that's three things right there... I can keep going if you want....”

I groaned.

“thought you wanted me to suck you off.” i muttered. He shrugged.

“Changed my mind. I’m gonna fuck you just like this.” 

I flinched, when he found the edge of my panties, lightly tracing circles on the fabric....

“May I?” He smirked and it took me a second to realize he was going to tear it off me. A jolt of shock , dosed with desire shot straight through my center and I swelled and ached in all the worst places. 

“I’m gonna take that as an yes.” He grinned then, eyes piercing through the damp strands of his hair and I felt my heart take a dive, a sudden unexpected swoop of raw unfiltered  affection.

The shock of feeling something positive towards Jungkook made my breath catch in shock. 

What the actual fuck....

But before I could fully chastise myself for the errant thought, he was yanking on my lace panty, tearing it clean off my thighs and I flinched at how much it hurt, the fabric leaving little welts on the swell of my flesh. He grabbed my thighs, prompting me to hope on and i grinned. Wall sex with Jungkook was always a great experience. 

I watched as he spread his legs a little, bracing himself against the floor so he could move his hips a bit more. He  was pressed right up against me, his torso holding me up against the wall as he used one hand to fumble with his belt, unzipping himself yanking his cock out. 

“Condom...back pocket...” He grunted and I struggled to slip my fingers into the skin tight slack, pulling out his wallet and grabbing the small foil packet. I tore it open, pressing the square strip to the flushed, leaking head of his kick before sliding the condom down to the base . I stroked him a little and I flinched at the extra ribbed texture of the condom.... That was going to rub my insides raw...

He grunted.

“Hands on my shoulder, babe...brace yourself.” He said shortly and I obeyed quickly , vaguely flushing at the  babe....  It was the usual kind of petname he used. 

Giving me no time to adjust , he lined himself up against me and it took me a second to realize that the momentary distraction in my thoughts had made me go a little dry. 

And yeah, Jungkook’s dick wasn’t the kind of dick you wanted to take dry. I opened my mouth to ask him to wait but it was just a second too late.

My eyes flew open in shock as he fucked right up into me with no preamble or finesse really. The shock of being speared open when I wasn’t fully prepared made my breath catch in my throat and I nearly chocked.  Fuck, I kept forgetting how much sex with Jungkook just hurt sometime.....

But it was the good kind of hurt, I thought , following his lead and wrapping both legs more securely around his waist , letting him fix our positions against the door with some modicum of stability.

“Oh fuck, you’re so fucking tight today....” He groaned into my shoulder, bracing himself again and gripping me harder, lifting me up and fucking in again, this time with just a little bit more force. I was right about the condom, it felt so abrasive against my insides and somehow, that made me wetter . 

I liked it when it hurt....Why else would I be so attracted to Jeon fucking Jungkook. 

He gripped my hair tighter, forcing me to stare at him. 

“Seeing you with Namjoon hyung.... i didn’t like it.” He bit out aggressively, reaching up to bury one hand in the back of my hair. He yanked hard, enough to make me yelp and I bit my lips, trying to remember that we were in the office...that anyone walking outside could hear if I didn’t keep it down. 

Jungkook rolled his hips up into me and it felt like he was hitting my center my entire body shaking from the sensation....he was so fucking big , I wanted to cry... He moved again , alternating his deep thrusts with a gentle rolling motion and that sexy little swivel,  exactly the way I had wanted Namjoon to the previous night.... But he hadn’t because he wasn’t Jungkook...No one could be Jungkook.... 

“Fuck... Please...” I gripped his shoulders hard, hating the expensive suit between my fingers and his skin. God i wanted to touch him so bad.

“Don’t know who I was punishing that day, not fucking you through...not cumming in your filthy little cunt...Nothing I like more than filling you up, dollface, you know that right...love the way you look when I spill into you...so fucked out and debauched like someone ran a fucking train on you....” He was panting, breathless. I gripped his hair , loving how the long wet strands felt in my hands. I pulled hard trying to move my hips to meet his but it was impossible to keep up with his speed. 

“Say my name..” He whispered roughly , kissing my chin and then tugging on my lip with his and I panted it out...muffled and slightly garbled. 

“Properly.... Tell me who you belong to.” He snarled, the grip in my hair tightening and he pushed into me even harder and I felt my legs quiver .

“ You... I... you.. belong to you... Jungkook... “ I managed and he chuckled.

“Namjoon hyung is somewhere in the building..... “ He grinned against my skin, licking and mouthing across my jaw and I felt so sexy and dirty at the wetness as it dried on my skin. Jungkook continued, breathing each word out into my skin in the wake of his wet , wet tongue “ He’s sitting in his office thinking he has some sort of chance with you but he doesn’t know...doesn’t know how fucking dirty and wet you get for me...” 

I clenched around him and it was humiliating how much it turned me on...this toxic trait of his, the way he seemed to loathe me every second of the day and yet somehow believed I was his...only his...his to fuck and his to hate.,... 

My thighs ached from being held up so long, my back was definitely a little frayed from being pushed against the wall and I could feel the tell tale signs of orgasm .... 

  And yet somehow he was still keeping up the pace and I finally looked at him, right into his eyes, and suddenly,. without warning it was the raw, aching want and desire in his eye that tipped me over, wringing my orgasm straight out of me. 

The shock of it blew me away. I’d never cum so fast before. And definitely never because of how  he  looked. Feeling my heart palpitate inside me, I punched his shoulders. Jungkook didn’t slow down, faking me right through the crescendo of pleasure, ramming in harder now and with more force because it was his own pleasure he was chasing and I could feel my muscles scream , my mind supplying helpfully that walking was going to be a fucking struggle after this.  

He grunted as he finished, spilling into the condom . He was trembling a little and if it weren’t for the inhuman strength in his gorgeously muscled thighs, we would have crashed to the floor in a wet and messy puddle of sweat and cum by now.

 I stared at the opposite wall, feeling entirely too many emotions ....emotions that felt incredibly incredibly out of place , being directed at a guy who didn’t even like me. 

I had to get out of here. 

“Get off me.” I panted, shoving him just a bit too hard and he pulled out at once, clearly surprised . My body protested the harsh movement and I felt my insides throb, the pleasure beginning to ebb and being replaced by an almost unbearable soreness. I had to bite down on his shoulder for a second, just to muffle the agony. 

“Jesus , give me a minute...” He panted, lowering me to the ground. I pushed him again, my legs giving out under me and I crashed to the floor. 

Jungkook’s eyes went wide in shock and concern and it was so out of place on his face that I felt my heart stutter. 

“Are you alrigh-?”He made to reach for me but I kicked out, ignoring the pain throbbing through my body. My foot connected with his shin and he grunted.

“Ow...what the fuck , Areum..” He hissed, stumbling a bit. I ignored him , looking for my clothes. Jungkook was getting rid of the condom and buckling himself up. When he moved to help me up again I pushed his hand away. 

“Don’t touch me fuck...” I snapped, grabbing the torn fabric of my underwear and stuffing it into my jacket pocket. I grabbed my work pants, hopping to get into them as fast as I could. 

“You literally just came so why the fuck are you acting like this?” He glared at me and I frowned.

“Acting like what... Isn’t this what we do Jungkook? Shoot daggers at each other when we’re not fucking?” 

He growled.

“Fuck, I keep forgetting what a prickly little bitch you are....” He sneered and I finished buttoning up my pants. 

“And you’re a fucking perv... This is our office. I’m supposed to be respectable employee here not a-” I stopped, shaking my head . 

He grabbed my elbow , pulling hard.

“Not a what? A slut? “ He smirked, pecking my forehead, “ don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

I shoved him again.

“Never again. “ I said firmly, “ We do it in your palce or mine. I don’t wanna be called a -”

“Don’t wanna be called Jeon Jungkook’s personal whore...although thats exactly what you are.... Got it.” He looked entirely too smug as he leaned against the wall smirking as he watched me struggle with the door. 

I glared at him. 

“This is why I should have just gone to Namjoon. At least he calls me his baby. Not a whore.” 

The smile slipped off his face with alarming speed.

“What the fuck did you just say?” He growled and I shrugged. 

“You heard me....”

“Stop using my fucking brother to make me jealous...It doesn’t work. It pisses me off because he’s a great guy and we all know that you can’t get off with anyone but me.  ” He snarled and I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t fucking flatter yourself. I like him. He’s a nice guy.” I said sharply and I wasn’t lying. Namjoon was a nice guy. A great guy. I was just fucked up and did not like nice guys. 

“Then why the fuck were you literally gagging for it when I dragged you in here?” He glared and I shrugged.

“Because you’re right. You’re a good fuck and I’m just gonna keep using  you until I settle down with a nice, handsome guy like your brother.” 

Jungkook smirked.

“It’s so sexy, the way you mouth off at me even when you’re struggling to stand up because I dicked you down too hard.....Just wait, next time you won’t be walking for days. Might even whip out your friends, those handcuffs. Leave you chained to my bed for a couple of days. ”

I gave him the finger before slipping out of the closet. 

Author note : if you guys have any requests for scenes or kinks send it in ..... 🥵🥵🥵 I'm loving this universe and will probably work on it for a while.....

[lightrises]

"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

[geekgirles]

Full Disclosure

“I’m sorry for the way I used to act towards you when we were fourteen,” she admitted before softly adding, “especially when you and Danny were beginning to connect.”

Or

In which Sam and Valerie clear the air between them.

Word count: 5176

READ ON AO3

Before we go in, I just wanted to say that I hope I did the characters justice. Really, it’s all I ask because I’m still fairly recent in the fandom (as in, actively participating rather than fangirling on my own) and I’d hate to make a travesty of characters that mean so much to me. Oh, and this one-shot can take place in whatever timeline you want: you hate PP with a passion? Don’t worry, it didn’t happen. You actually think it’s a good finale? That works too. There shouldn’t be anything that indicates this story takes place in anywhere in particular other than Amity Park, so... All you need to know is that Valerie knows.

Please, enjoy!!

As an intense throb manifested itself in her right side, eliciting an involuntary groan to escape her throat, Sam was more frustrated at herself than aching from the hit. It had been two years already since Danny had the accident that gave him his powers, consequently beginning the constant battles against ghosts that made their teenaged life significantly harder, and, as they came to appreciate their lifestyle, significantly more interesting, too. Once Danny gained his ghost powers, she and Tucker took it to themselves to make sure their friend was always supported and aided when fighting his ghostly adversaries.

And with that came the injuries. 

They certainly didn’t get hurt as often or as gravely as Danny, since he was usually the one facing the mischievous spirits head-on, but they still had to get used to their own fair share of beatings. The teachers were understandably surprised when they effortlessly completed their first aid training in Health class. 

All in all, Sam was used to getting hurt. 

Which made the fact that Valerie had landed such a perfect kick that it literally left her breathless all the more humiliating.

Valerie Gray, a.k.a. the Red Huntress. Danny Phantom’s longtime pursuer and Danny Fenton’s one time girlfriend. The once popular girl was now their trustworthy ally. And, as much as Sam hated to admit it, she was thoroughly kicking her butt. Perhaps she should have expected as much from a ninth degree black belt. 

“Had enough, Manson?” Valerie taunted with a raised eyebrow. 

Getting up slowly, Sam sent her a smirk alongside a challenging, determined look. “Never.” And with that she leaped on the ghost huntress, using her momentum to connect a punch to her face. But Valerie was faster, blocking the Goth girl’s attack with her forearm before sliding her leg under Sam’s to make her lose her balance. Seeing what her opponent was up to, the violet-eyed girl quickly got out of her way, widening the space between the two to give herself some time to think up a new strategy. 

Smirking at Sam’s maneuver, Valerie appraised her with pride. “Not bad, Sam,” she said before changing her stance, ready to pounce, “but the extra space won’t save you from this.” Leaping into the air, the Red Huntress didn’t waste a moment to knock Sam to the floor with a roundhouse kick boosted by her movements. 

Even if the Goth blocked the attack by keeping her palms up in front of her face, the sheer force behind it was still enough to knock her down. That was gonna bruise in the morning, she was sure of it. Glancing up she noticed Valerie looking down at her with a smug look on her face and her hands on her hips. Sam barely resisted the urge to scowl darkly at her. Panting, she conceded, “Alright, alright. Maybe now I’ve had enough.” 

Chuckling at Sam’s proud nature, the green-eyed girl bent down slightly to offer her friend a hand and lift her up from the floor. Once Sam was at her eye-level, she looked down on her watch, now serving as a chronometre. “Five minutes. That’s a full round! Congratulations, Sam. So far, you’re the one who’s lasted the most against me.” She applauded her, but her face betrayed her. She was about to burst out laughing. 

Snorting, the Goth girl elbowed her slightly on the arm. “Knock it off! Even if I lost, I still managed to land a few hits myself.”

“Yeah...Trust me, you don’t have to remind me.” Valerie complained with a pointed look as she rubbed her lower back. Early on in the match, Sam kneed her there. Thank goodness she wasn’t tasked with unloading the Nasty Burger’s products that week. “I’m serious, though. Danny without his powers lasts a minute and a half, tops. And Tucker...well, let’s just say that taking one hit without passing out is already a victory when it comes to him.” 

“Yeah, he and Danny really should do more exercise.” The two girls laughed at that. These past two years Danny’s skill when using his powers had skyrocketed. Enemies that used to give him a hard time were now more of a headache. He didn’t even have to pay attention to the fight to get rid of the Ghost Box. Now, as Danny Fenton… He’d gotten taller, that was for sure. But he still had the nasty habit of relying on his powers a little too much, which didn’t do his P.E marks any favours. And Tucker was still far more interested in whatever his PDA had to offer than the wonders of physical exercise. 

In truth, everyone had changed during that time, if only a little. 

Sam was still as Goth and ultra-recyclo-vegetarian as always. Her raven hair was slightly longer, now reaching her shoulders, but she still wore it mostly loose and framing her face, except for the one strand she kept in a high ponytail. Her fashion sense hadn’t changed much either. She wore a black crop top with Danny’s logo on it instead of the old purple ovalーthe town began selling merchandise of its hero to attract, and basically rob, tourists. Since she created the logo herself, she made her own outfits and nobody was none the wiser. She also stuck with plaid skirts, but this time she favoured a purple and black one instead of her old black and green. But her combat boots, accessories, and make-up were sacred. Everybody knew impending doom was near if Sam ever changed even the tiniest detail in her appearance when it came to that. 

She was still outspoken and an avid defender of animal rights, individuality, and most importantly, of Danny Phantom. Even though most people celebrated the boy and thanked him for his services, there were still some who criticised him and believed Amity Park was better off before him. Needless to say, Sam was always at the front of the line in any protest to defend Amity Park’s greatest protector. The fact that he was not only one of her best friends but also her boyfriend may have something to do with it. But even if they weren’t together, Sam knew Danny. She’d always known him. She would always defend him from those who couldn’t even begin to grasp just how noble, responsible, and compassionate he was.

The corners of her mouth curled up slightly when she remembered she’d just been sparring with what once was one of Danny Phantom’s greatest detractors. 

In a way, Valerie had probably changed the most out of everyone she knew while simultaneously not changing anything at all. 

In terms of appearance, just like Sam, she’d only modified her look slightly. She cut her long, dark brown curls so they now barely reached her shoulders instead of cascading down her back. According to her, long hair just got in the way with her suit. She originally wanted to get an undercut, but her dad almost had a cow so they compromised with short hair for now and leaving the undercut for when she was a little older. The huntress still favoured spaghetti-strapped yellow t-shirts, but now she completed her outfit with dark blue jeans or shorts (depending on the temperature) and white sneakers. She also dropped the headband due to her hair, but she kept the earrings. 

The most obvious change, though, was that she was now an ally rather than an enemy after Danny Phantom’s head. Sam feared for the worst when Valerie found out her ex boyfriend was the very same ghost she’d vowed to destroy (could she really say she and Danny were exes, though? Sure, they went on a few dates and they genuinely liked each other, but Valerie pseudo-broke up with him right when he was about to ask her to make things official... Ugh, the wonders of the teenaged heart... Always bound to give her a headache. This is why she preferred her Goth indifference...most of the time). As much as they wanted to trust Valerie was going to be sensible about it, her track record wasn’t the best, forcing them to keep an eye out in case she decided to send her more positive opinion of Danny Fenton to Hell and shoot him with her ecto-bazooka. 

Thankfully, one day Valerie just sat down with them at lunch, and when Danny tentatively asked her if they were okay, she just smiled and said, “We’re okay.” So they ate lunch in peace...until the Lunch Lady showed up and they had to send her back to the Ghost Zone. At least that time the Red Huntress was there to help them out. Ever since then, the girl sometimes fought alongside them, but for the most part she did her own thing. 

And that was something about Valerie that hadn’t changed; her hatred of ghosts. Valerie was still hellbent on getting rid of all the spirits that haunted Amity Park, with half-ghosts being the sole exception ーexcept for Vlad, Valerie held a huge grudge against him for having used her as his pawn; not like the team could complain, they all hated Vlad, after all. And that made her ruthless, determined, brutal… More than once Danny had tried talking her out of her grudge against the paranormal, explaining to her that, albeit not as numerous as the troublemaking ghosts, there were still some that just wanted to be left alone. But Valerie would not budge. She believed all ghosts lacked the humanity and self-control necessary to resist whatever crazy obsession that tied them to our world and would eventually attack. 

To Valerie, ghosts were ticking bombs. 

Seeing as, so far, most ghosts they faced were malicious or seriously causing trouble, Tucker suggested they just let her be, but the moment she actually targeted an innocent ghost (say, Wulf), then they would have to get serious with her. 

All in all, Valerie was their friend. A friend who had agreed to help her train so Danny wouldn’t have to worry so much about her safety when they were out fighting spectres. Not like he really needed to worry, she could take care of herself, but the more prepared they were, the better. And Valerie was helping her with that, and yet, the air still hadn’t been completely cleared between them. 

As much as Sam would’ve loved cutting to the chase, a part of her still wasn’t prepared to address the elephant in the room. “Not gonna lie, Valerie, I wiー” she stopped mid-sentence. The last thing they needed was to have Desirée roaming free around Amity Park just because she hadn’t been careful with her words. Clearing her throat, she went on. “I mean, I would do anything for your fighting skills. You must have every ghost shaking in their boots...or whatever they have to shake in.”

As Sam sat down on the floor of her family’s private gym, which Valerie still couldn’t get used to being in, the green-eyed girl made her way to the other side of the room far away from  the training tatami, where a middle-sized fridge was located. Pulling the door open, she grabbed two water bottles before going back to Sam. “Yeah, what can I say? I am pretty awesome.”

“And don’t forget modest.” Sam replied sarcastically. 

“Girl, when you’re as good as me, you don’t need to pretend to be modest.” She joked as she handed Sam her own water bottle, which she accepted gratefully, before sitting down on the floor next to her. “Believe it or not, though, I became a ninth degree black belt long before I started hunting ghosts.” She looked at the floor, a pensive look on her face, “...we couldn’t have afforded the classes otherwise.”

Sam did her best to suppress the urge to do a spit-take at her words. Valerie almost never brought her financial situation up. The most she used to do was remember Danny why she hated him back when she still was after him, but the topic was dropped altogether once the secret was out. Looking around her ridiculously lavish house, Sam felt like facepalming herself. How could she have been so insensitive as to remind Valerie of the life she lost?! 

“Valerie...I-I’m sorry. I should’ve told you to meet up at the park to train, but I…”

“Sam, don’t.” The huntress cut her off with a stern tone. “Don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for.”

“But it was insensitive of me toー” Again, she was interrupted by Valerie, who silenced her by raising her palm up in front of her.

“Please, let me talk. You don’t have to apologise for anything because you’ve done nothing wrong. I’ll admit, it’s a bit paradoxical finding out that while I was mourning my losses you’d been hiding the fact that you’re stinking rich all along. But I’m not offended by it. Actually, I think I understand.”

“You do?” The Goth girl asked in disbelief, her eyes wide open. 

The African-American girl just shrugged. “I think so. I didn’t realise it until my so-called friends kicked me out of the group, but having money attracts a lot of fakes and shallow people. People who’ll only be there when it’s convenient for them and who’ll throw you away like a used tissue the moment you have nothing else to offer. I know that better than anyone…” When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked up to see Sam smiling kindly at her, doing her best to get out of her comfort zone and offer her some comfort. She returned the smile. “Bottom line: you want real friends, so you never talk about your money ‘cause you don’t want to attract the wrong people. I get it.”

“You really do.”

“And I guess I’m also flattered.”

Sam blinked slowly at her. “Wow, Valerie. It usually takes a lot to take me by surpriseーwith the ghost fighting and allーand yet, here we are!” 

The huntress just chuckled softly in response. “What I mean is that I understand that it takes you a lot to let people inーand quite literally tooーbut you still invited me. That means you must trust me, if only a bit.”

Sam couldn’t help but blush at her earnest words. It was true, wasn’t it? She trusted Valerie. She would have never invited her to her house if she didn’t. And, now that she thought about it, Valerie had to trust her too if she was willing to show her vulnerable side to her. Somehow, the thought made her smile. Knowing she would have to bring up uncomfortable topics soon, the violet-eyed girl decided to alleviate some of the tension first. “Well, I’m glad you could at least get your black belt first! Otherwise we would be in for a major asskicking from some ghosts.”

That comment actually made Valerie laugh. “Oh, hush, you flatterer! Or I’ll tell Danny his girlfriend has been hitting on me.” She could only snort when Sam gasped in fake shock. “Seriously, though. I personally would love to be as genre savvy as you are. I mean, you always know what to do or have some obscure knowledge about whatever we’re facing. From the Fright Knight’s legend to how to train your dragon ghost.”

Sam merely shrugged with a lazy grin on her face, “What can I say? Obscure knowledge sort of comes with being a Goth.”

The two girls started snickering after that. As their laughter died down, Valerie noticed Sam’s smile fading from the corner of her eye, concerning her. “Sam? Is everything okay?”

“Valerie...I’m sorry.” 

That took her by surprise. After a few seconds of shock, the Red Huntress rolled her eyes good-naturedly before gently nudging her friend with her shoulder. “C’mon, Sam. I told you already. You don’t have to feel sorry for inviting meー.”

This time it was Sam who cut her off. She shook her head. “No. No, it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m sorry for the way I used to act towards you when we were fourteen,” she admitted before softly adding, “especially when you and Danny were beginning to connect.”

One would think that a semi-professional ghost huntress would have seen it all, and honestly, so did Valerie, but she was genuinely shocked at Sam’s apology. The shock didn't last long, though. “Are you seriously apologising for that? Sam, that was two years ago!”

Of all the things she could be apologising for...She just had to pick that one, didn’t she?

Sam groaned, frustrated and clenching her gym shorts with her hands. “I know it’s been two years, but that doesn’t change that I wasn’t the most pleasant person in the world to you for reasons that weren’t...completely pure.”

“So what?” Valerie insisted. “Neither was I for the longest time! You and Tucker were right when you called me out during Pariah Dark’s attack; how could I expect to be treated like one of the group when I used to be such a brat to you? You still eventually forgave me.” She pointed out.

“You don’t understand…” Sam whined as she rubbed her face with her hands. “While it’s true that part of my animosity towards you came from how you used to treat us, and another good chunk came from your eagerness to vaporise one of my best friends,” the Red Huntress actually had the decency to blush embarrassedly at that, “I really, really disliked you because I was...well, I was jealous. Plain and simple.” 

There. She’d said it. After years gritting her teeth and burning with envy whenever Danny and Tucker (mostly because of Danny, obviously) drooled over Paulina or any other pretty girl, she had finally admitted she was mostly jealous instead of simply not understanding what the fuss was about. Hanging out with girls more often, namely Valerie and Jazz, instead of only spending her time with the guys had really helped broaden her horizons. Especially when it came to her opinion on other girls. She was proud to say she was finally moving on from her “not like other girls” phase. 

Even if Danny’s crush on Paulina had driven her nuts more than once, it was his budding romance with Valerie that truly pushed all her buttons and caused her deepest insecurities to rear their ugly head. Even if dating her was dangerous, Danny still wanted to be with her! He was willing to throw caution to the wind if it meant they could be a couple. And he was so protective of her when Technus attacked… As much as Sam hated to admit it, as much as she wished (to Hell with Desirée) she could ignore it all and just focus on protecting Danny from being hunted by his new girlfriend, that hurt.

That hurt a lot. 

Albeit annoying, Danny’s crush on Paulina was safe. Paulina only liked Danny Phantom. Danny couldn’t really get closer to her as his alter-ego without putting her in danger, and Danny would never put an innocent person in danger. And just like that, Paulina became unattainable. But Valerie…

Valerie liked Danny Fenton. She and Danny often just wanted to have a normal life, away from ghosts and burdens that no 14-year-old kid should shoulder. Even if the Red Huntress wanted to kill Danny Phantom, Valerie genuinely liked Danny Fenton. Despite the danger, she was closer than Paulina. And despite their close bond, she was closer to Danny than Sam herself. Because Valerie wasn’t afraid to admit her feelings, unlike her. 

In fact, hadn’t Valerie put her job before her love life, Sam knew without an ounce of a doubt that she and Danny would still be together. Because she had been too afraid to tell Danny how much he meant to her sooner. 

Yes, she had been jealous of Valerie. 

She had been jealous of the attention she received from Danny. She had been jealous of the fact that they went out on several dates and nothing could embarrass them or ruin their little moment. She was jealous because it would’ve meant things would change. 

But most importantly, she was jealous of Valerie’s guts. 

And she finally confessed it.

...which made what Valerie said next all the more jaw-dropping. 

“Yeah, I know.”

Her jaw hanging low and eyes as wide as saucers, Sam slowly turned her head to look the huntress dead in the eye. “You know?” She asked, completely flabbergasted. 

Valerie snorted. She actually snorted at her question! And while Sam was looking at her with the most comically astonished expression on the face of the planet, Valerie just regarded her with a coy smile. “No offence, Sam, but it was kinda hard to miss. I think only Danny wasn’t aware of it.”

Sam had nothing to say in response to that. 

“Besides, didn’t I tell you before I even started going out with Danny? When you like someone, if you don’t make a move, somebody else will. What did you think I was referring to other than your feelings, chess?”

“That...is true.” The Goth admitted quietly. 

Seeing her usually outspoken friend acting so despondent all of a sudden didn’t sit well with the green-eyed teenager. She sighed, “Look, Sam. I understand that you were...difficult because you were jealous. I can’t deny I once or twice acted petty towards you because I was jealous, myself. But even if I hadn’t decided to just stay friends with Danny, I don’t think we would’ve worked out in the end.”

Not for the first time that day, and she was sure it wouldn't be the last time either, Valerie had taken her completely aback. Furrowing her brow in confusion, Sam insisted, “What are you talking about? You two are the best ghost hunters in Amity Park, you guys would have been the ultimate power couple!”

Leaning back on her elbows, the Red Huntress sent the Goth a smirk, “Ah, but you’re forgetting I would’ve had to know Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom were one and the same first. And I…”, for the first time since their sparring lesson began, Valerie found herself hesitating, “I don’t know how I would’ve taken that.

“Sure, I really, really liked Danny, but I had spent far longer hating his ghost half. Ever since the Cujo-related incidents I blamed him for the turn my life had taken. And even when I was growing fond of Danny Fenton, his actions as Danny Phantom still drove me nuts! I mean, he literally unmasked me right before my dad! He forbade me from ghost hunting until I got that upgrade in my suit. Could I really put all that aside in favour of having a relationship with him?

“That’s why it took me so long to face you guys once I learned the truth; I was trying to make peace with it all. I figured I could learn to forgive Danny, maybe even trust him with my life...but never with my heart again. There were too many imbalances between us for me to be comfortable in a relationship with him...and you guys are honestly better together anyways.” She winked at the ultra-recyclo-vegetarian.

“You really think so?” Sam could feel the heat making its way to her cheeks the moment Valerie nodded at her question. “I-I mean!”, ugh, how she hated stuttering!, “Danny’s always been super important to me...obviously! And we’ve always done our best to be there for each other and have each other’s backs, but there are times when I can’t help but wonder if perhaps we’re just making a mistake and we were better off as friends…” She finished with a defeated sigh. 

At the sensation of an arm wrapped around her shoulders, she turned to look at Valerie. “Sam, trust me. This is no mistake. You’re one of the very few people who understand there’s no difference between Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom; they’re both Danny and you’ve always known that and done your best to show him just that. And unlike Paulina or me, even if you hadn’t known his secret from the beginning, I’m willing to bet my right arm that you would’ve accepted both sides of him equally either way.”

At her words, Sam could only smile warmly, “You really think so?”

Valerie returned her smile. “I know so.”

Still replaying Valerie’s words and organising her own thoughts in her head, Sam turned to face her, one hand resting on her lap and the other on Valerie’s shoulder, “For what it’s worth, I still think that after a, very understandable, initial bump in your relationship, you two could’ve made a great couple too. I meant what I said when I told you that, if Danny liked you, then we would only have to make room for you at our table. I can’t think of any girl I would be willing to do that for but you, Val.”

Valerie almost gasped at Sam’s words, but she recovered rather quickly, “Thank you, Sam. That means a lot coming from you.” Resting her own hand on top of the one on her shoulder, she winked mischievously at her, “And don’t worry; I don’t go around stealing my friends’ boyfriends.”

The Goth girl snorted at that. “Glad to hear that.”

They remained like that for a moment, just enjoying the comfortable silence that had settled between them and their secret understanding. They were friends. They had similarities and differences. But that would never change the respect each felt for the other. 

Finally, getting up from the floor and dusting herself off, Valerie broke the silence, “Come on, there’s still many moves I haven’t used to kick your butt.” 

Sam smirked at the challenge, “Oh, you’re so on!”

................

The Fentons’ Emergency Ops Centre had, ironically, become their safe haven. 

Whenever they wanted to enjoy some alone time before they had to part ways or a ghost attack took place, they would simply climb up the roof and enter through the door leading to it. Although Danny could just phase or fly them there if they were really pressed for time, which was their usual way of getting there because they were always pressed for time. 

The Ops Centre was really just an excuse to spend some time together, really.

It didn’t matter what they did. Sometimes they would make out because they were a couple and couples made out with each other, didn’t they? Especially when said couple consisted of two hormone-driven teenagers. Maybe if they’d been a pair of octogenarians, the fuss of the relationship would have been elsewhere. Like how incredible it was that they’d survived that long in the first place.

Other times they just talked about nothing and everything at the same time. Sort of like what they usually did, but without Tucker. Sam would often talk about the latest hideous monstrosity their parents had intended she wore ー”Oh, you’re laughing now! But trust me, Undergrowth had much better fashion sense than my parents!”ー, or how rapidly the poles were melting and nobody was doing anything about it, or how her latest poetry reading went ー“Kwan’s getting better, actually. This time he wrote about the new scabs he got during the last game”ー, and how they could defeat the villain of the week who was somehow harder to beat than the previous one because, really, they always got harder to beat. 

And Danny would recall his parents’ latest shenanigans, or Jazz’s newest psychological experiment with ghosts that she was sure was going to work because it was just flawless; or he’d warn her about the food in his house ー”I know you don’t eat meat anyways, but don’t open the fridge. The ecto-weenies are back and this time they’ve brought BBQ sauce.” He would also complain about the workload of homework Mr Lancer had assigned them; sometimes because he didn’t think he’d have the time to finish it all, and sometimes he just didn’t know where to start because what the Heck is irony anyway? Didn’t anyone realise that what they often called irony was actually more of a paradox? How could they be teaching something wrong in English class?! And, sometimes, in those rare moments where Danny finally realised, only to forget his lesson all over again the next day, that he could count on her, Tucker, Jazz, Val ーand his loved ones, damn it!ー and confide his deepest secrets, he would open up about how being Danny Phantom was taking its toll on him. How being famous was more often than not more suffocating than flattering. How he was getting tired that his enemies only ever came back, or became stronger, or multiplied. How he feared, no, how he felt it was never going to end until he was 100% dead and not just 50%... He even still had trouble understanding what truly happened to him the day of the accident. 

And maybe they just would never know. 

And then, there were days like today. Days where they would just stay in silence, watching Amity Park since the makeshift observatory his zany but genius parents had built all on their own. Because, sometimes, watching the sunset in silence with that special someone was just enough. 

While Danny leaned against the railing, Sam was sitting on top of it, enjoying the soft breeze blowing around her and caressing her skin. “Today I trained with Valerie.”

Perking up at the sound of her voice suddenly breaking the silence, Danny turned his head slightly in her direction. “Oh?” He let out, “How did it go?”

“I managed to last a full five minutes and land a few serious hits myself.” She stated proudly. 

The ghost boy whistled appreciatively, “Five full minutes! Now that’s impressive.” He sent her a sly look and a smirk, his admiration turning into amusement, “And how many hits did you cushion?”

Curling her lip in annoyance, Sam muttered, “The fact that I’m even sitting here is a miracle in itself.”

That had Danny snickering like crazy, before a sharp pain in his arm stopped him, “Ow!” 

To his surprise, instead of a smug Sam as he expected, he found his girlfriend gingerly rubbing her arm, a pained expression on her face. “Okay,” she panted, “that was so not worth it.”

“Here, let me help.” Gently resting his fingers on her arm, he used his ice powers to send a chilly sensation across her limb, effectively alleviating the pain. “Anything else I should know about? Did the training turn into a battle to the death?”

“Actually, we talked things out and we finally buried the hatchet.” She said seriously.

Danny furrowed the brow in confusion. “Uh, Sam? I was kidding. And I thought you already did that when she found out the truth about my powers.”

Chuckling softly, Sam could only roll her eyes with a smile on her face as she leaned close to leave a tender kiss on his lips before whispering, “Clueless.”

[peeterparkr]

perennial;tom holland|fourteen.

chapter fourteen: snapdragons & sunflowers (Vol. 2)

↳ flower meaning: snapdragons: deception. sunflowers: unconditional love.

chapter summary: to use words. 

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of sex, remember if there’s smut it’d be under the *, flashbacks in italics

word count: 11.6K

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So, please help me out I think tags aren’t working. So yes, hope you enjoy this :) I’m sorry I haven’t been updating as much so here’s a long chapter to enjoy, please tell me what you think. 

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and thanks to @readheadwriter for this one! 

The sun was peeking through the window but they’d just noticed it, seemed like the entire day had been gray, maybe it would turn gray again. But right now it felt like the warm afternoon had finally washed over them. Such tranquility. Quiet.

They knew they were their very best when they were together and quiet. Or not quiet, but alone. With no one interrupting their thoughts. 

Y/N at that time could only wish she could stay like that forever, with nothing to worry, ignoring the dreadful problems and only… with him. Breathing and heart beats synchronized, as if they had connected on such a deep level, body and soul in their one way they knew how to. 

Y/N was often amazed by how precise he was, movements and caresses, the way he knew how to kiss her where she needed to be kissed, or the way his fingers would be soft enough to wash her with delight. 

How easily he could ease her sorrow, transport her to a different place. Though she was often wondering how she had wasted her life pretending not to love him. What else was she supposed to do if not love him? 

This wasn’t supposed to happen, or it hadn’t been what either Tom or y/n had in mind. Probably nobody. Not this way. 

Everyone guessed their fighting was probably still happening, and though James was probably the one to not want to know what had actually gone down, he probably was the only one aware that it would happen. 

There they were, her chest on his stomach, his hand in her hair, wondering what they were supposed to do, sun washing them.  Staring deeply into each other’s eyes. Tom had this particular way of staring at her that made her blush, shiver even. Under the sheets as his eyes travelled from her eyes to her lips. Still sweaty, and that familiar glow y/n had learned to know and love Tom had after each time as of it had been the first. 

So mesmerized she was by the sight of him. When had his eyes so full of hatred turned into such likeness? 

There was clearly no right answer to the problem, to the situation. Yet there was only one truth. 

They were in love. And everybody knew that. 

Y/N had never been one to read romance novels, she loved romantic movies that is, when love finds a way but she always criticized the way the feelings were portrayed. 

Ironic since she loved the magic and intensity and ridiculousness in 80’s movies. 

But she wished her life as a romantic comedy right now. Everything would be stupidly simpler. Not this mess which went beyond what her heart was able to feel. 

But laying on top of him in that warm room only gave her the answer that she wanted to be with him. But her mind kept going back to Cherry. She’d seen she’d gotten some texts from her cousin, and from other people which y/n had inadvertently ignored. That was a lie. 

She’d ignored them wholeheartedly. 

What did Tom feel? That was the only question. Regret. Most likely. 

“I shouldn’t have left,” y/n started knowing damn well that had been their initial downfall. How easily she had tried to escape her fear and pain believing that when she was away it wouldn’t be felt. She had been wrong, but we already knew that. 

Maybe Tom understood by then what she was actually apologizing for, it wasn’t her leaving it was her leaving to live with Tim. 

Though it shouldn’t have been a problem, there are a lot of things that were in necessity to be unraveled. 

The big drama that had been unfolded for a script.

“I should’ve chased after you,” he commented matter of factly. “Seems like my realization came late enough.” 

“Chase after  me?” She mocked. “As if it were—“

“I’m rather sure you did expect me to show up, I happen to know you very well, y/n,” he reminded her. “And I know you probably expected me to show up at your door when it’s raining and do something very 80’s movies like, you’d want a moment like that.” 

She looked away. “I—Well.” She did. But it was stupid to think he would. 

“Am I wrong?” He pushed. “Did you not wait for me to show up with yellow flowers?”

She shrugged, embarrassed as she brushed her lips against his skin as if trying to embarrass him just as much as he was embarrassing her. “My expectations for you rely only on merely having any.” 

“You’re saying you didn’t have any expectations for me?” He was perplexed, hurt even. 

“I’m saying you could’ve only shown up and I would’ve been pleased, I don’t need you to do anything else, honestly,” she admitted. “Because I know that you showing up would’ve meant we’ve swallowed all our pride.” 

“And did I not show up?” He questioned. 

Not how she had pictured it. 

“You did, but in the worst way you could’ve,” she reminded him. She sighed. “Besides you didn’t show up but only after my heart was broken for yet another time.” 

He gulped and brought his hand to cup her cheeks. “We did kiss under the rain, though.” 

“We’ve had some pretty dramatic kissing, huh,” she stated. 

“Pretty dramatic relationship,” he said with a grin. 

“However,” she sighed, “and going back to my initial statement.” 

“Initial statement,” he mocked. 

“I shouldn’t have left so—unpromptedly,” she said with a bit more formality. “I—broke your heart and I should’ve faced my consequences.” 

“But you left because of the script, and please, leave out all the formalities, y/n.” 

She sighed. “Yes, I did but I should’ve—I don’t know I was scared, I didn’t know how to deal with it. I wanted to let you heal, I wanted to—heal myself because I knew that my baggage would eventually bring us down and—Well.” 

“It’s not your baggage though, it’s ours,” he said. “We are trying to deal with that, you know? Work it out. We are in love, we are a couple and this is just a—well, an obstacle.” 

“Yes of course but—I—don’t you think it’s a sign?” She questioned. 

“A sign?” 

“Dunno, feels like we both tried to sabotage the relationship, as if—“ 

Tom furrowed his brows. “If anything, y/n, you’re laying on top of me after we had sex and—“

“I know, idiot,” she interrupted.

“I think that’s a pretty clear sign that we are deeply in love with each other.” 

“That’s only because I have no self control when it comes to you,” she stated. “And you know that and use that to your own advantage, you perfectly know you’re my weakness.”

“Am I?” He smirked. 

“Yes and you use it against me,” she stated as she blushed. 

“I do not, I—literally have no free-will when you’re around,” he said, his hands back on her back drawing circles with his fingers, “I’m hopelessly and stupidly in love with you and willing to give everything for you.” 

She smiled, genuinely, “we are doomed, then,” she stated as she stretched out to kiss him, deeply and passionately, but shortly.

Y/N knew it, he’d always linger like a scar you can never get rid off. His glance would keep her heart going. 

“What shall we do, then?” He asked. 

“Dunno.” 

He kissed her chin, “we could do that again, you know?” He offered mischievously, his hands traveling up her skin. 

She rolled her eyes, “Tom, we can’t keep avoiding it.” 

He sighed dramatically, “hm no, but we could postpone it,” he offered as his lips brushed hers before finally kissing her again, in his own very way that had her oh, so mesmerized. 

She tried to pull away but her lips kept glued to him as if her mind and reason were not in sync with her heart, or body for that matter.  She felt him smile and chuckle even against her lips before he pulled away. 

“No, baby, please,” she pleaded as his eyes were defeated. 

“Fine.” 

She took a deep breath, trying to avoid his gaze so she’d be able to say it, “I dunno, I’m still hurt, though I know my feelings, I’m still hurt and I assume you are, too.” 

Tom bit his bottom lip, “yeah.” 

There was a slight difference, and y/n didn’t know if it was due the fact she could feel his heartbeat or if his fingers threaded down her skin, or maybe due to the tattoos his kissing had left but she knew that they could work it out. They had to. 

“So what do you suggest?” Tom asked. 

“Talking,” she said. 

“Hm, we’ve never been great at that,” he sighed. “But if we shall.” 

She watched him. “What did you do to make her fall in love with you?” She asked. “I—“ she sighed. “I well—I want to know.”

“We’re-starting then,”Tom took a deep breath and turned to her. “I guess the same I did with you.” 

“You couldn’t possibly,” she stated. “What you did with me—“

“You’re right, I don’t know how I made you fall for me,” he confessed. “What—did by the way?” 

She didn’t have an exact reason but love by itself. Did he need to know one?” 

“I shall keep that a secret,” she answered. Which was true, for the record, since it was a secret for herself as well. “But with her?” 

“Well, I—honestly, don’t know. I didn’t plan it,” he admitted. “I only searched for her.” 

“And why did you?” 

He looked away. “Loneliness blinds.” 

She clenched her jaw and finally rolled off of him, though her skin still longed to be close to him. But this wasn’t a conversation to have in any kind of romantic position. 

“I—for a moment, brief—but long enough to mess up my mind, I thought you leaving was for the best,” he said. “I thought you’d eventually realize you have feelings for Harry—“

“I don’t.” 

“No, but he kissed you,” Tom said. 

The one big thing they hadn’t spoken about, of course, the whole thing Tim was an issue, but Harry. 

“And you did write that you wished it had been him,” Tom continued. 

Y/N then sat up covering herself with the blankets, this was a conversation they’d pushed long enough. 

“For a moment,” she took a deep breath. “I did,” she admitted. “Because I didn’t—I well, you’d broken my heart and I was so overwhelmed and so confused, I did wonder, you know?” She confessed. “Why did I love the guy who’s been an asshole instead of the prince in shining armor.” 

Tom didn’t say a thing. 

“I did have feelings for Harry,” she continued. “At some point, but they were barely there,” she added. “It was… I mean, before—It was,” she took a deep breath. “Well I had finally gotten over you, yet again,” she forced a chuckle. 

He only gave her a sad smile. 

“I—Few years after that—kiss on that after party, after prom” she reminded him. 

“Oh,” he blushed. “Yeah.” 

“I was—Well, being the fool I was I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she continued. 

He laughed. “Fuck, how must you be after what we just did,” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes and let out a dry chuckle. “But you were an idiot as usual, yet it took me a while to get over you, and I—Dunno, I was spending more time with Harry, and as usual he was a gentleman, and l—“she sighed, “I guess I started wondering why—Why don't I love the man standing right in front of me—and at that point I knew his feelings for me, he wasn’t subtle,” she added. 

“And you didn’t—“

“I knew you hated me for that, I could see the way you were disgusted by how I just simply decided to ignore his feelings—“

“And I did everything because he liked you—I—I know it sounds stupid but I couldn’t—“ Tom sat up as well. “I felt guilty for loving you and I knew you—liked me, and I felt guilty and so I did everything to push you away.” 

Y/N nodded. “Did a great job on that,” she pointed out. 

“But you did have feelings?” Questioned Tom. 

“I’m not sure if I had them or if it was merely a whim I tried to calm,” she admitted. “Because I was—I think I forced myself to it, you know? The whole—y/n why don’t you love him instead, and yes, I did wish I had—liked him instead at some point, but not because of you—Maybe a bit, at that point, we weren’t exactly as—“she cleared her throat. “As close as we are now.” 

He hummed a chuckle, “close.”

“Well, yeah, so yes I did ask myself why I loved the guy who treated me like trash instead of the guy who— you know, so maybe I didn’t like him and it was only—No, that’s a lie. I did like him, I—started seeing him with different eyes but I was scared because—No feelings towards anybody have ever been as strong as those I have for you.” 

He only reached for her hand, and brought it to his lips. 

“I’m sorry for the things I said on the script,” she continued. “I—however I don’t regret all of them.” 

“I should’ve read it—“

“Yeah, I was—too harsh on the first few pages.” 

“But then—“

“Yeah,” she cleared her throat, “but no, I didn’t have—I don’t have feelings for Harry, I do—love him and I’ve missed him too much now that we’ve been apart—don’t get me wrong but when we—broke up I just needed Harry, I needed a best friend and he wasn’t there and—“

“Yeah, I get it,” Tom sighed. 

“Harry is my best friend and he’s the only one—I can actually open up to, last night he just listened for the sake of listening,” she nodded. “And even if he had feelings for me he never—pushed them, you know? He knew I had feelings for you even if I never truly dared to admit it out loud and Harry always listened for the sake of being my friend. He never tried to make me fall for him when I was sad or—He was only a friend. And I—missed—I still miss him, and I hope, I—I can get rid of Tim if you ask me to but please never ask me to get rid of Harry.” 

Tom watched her, listening closely. “I wouldn’t. Not—not even Tim.” 

“But I assume it wasn’t easy for you either,��� she pointed out as she then reached to the floor, searching for clothes, she reached for the one sweatshirt tom had used, not the one she’d borrowed. “When I left, I just—I guess it would’ve been easier if I had Harry, yes I had Emma and Emma had become a very good friend but—I don’t know, I needed Harry but I guess it was even more difficult for you, you were the broken hearted now.” 

“I was the bad guy,” Tom started. “Ruined my brother’s engagement, humiliated my girlfriend and made a drama. And—my girlfriend had written about my brother and my brother had kissed you. I—yeah, I wasn’t doing okay.” 

She sighed as she put on the clothes, Tom reached for the remaining ones. 

“Plus, when I realized I didn’t care about the script you were gone already, and to add to my misfortune, you were gone with Tim.” 

She looked down. “I didn’t leave with him, he just happened to be leaving as well.”

“I know, but given your history with him, given our history, too, I thought we were through, and after yelling at each other on the phone, I only—I sank into this—dark place, besides you’d left me some—daffodils?” 

“Oh, yeah, I had forgotten about those—“

“I didn’t, I watered them every day and took care of them, I am even having my mother sit them while I’m gone,” Tom admitted. 

Y/N felt her heart warm and glow, he’d taken care of them. 

“Daffodils,” Tom repeated. 

“Perennial flowers,” y:n said, “they—bloom again every now and then and they mean—“

“New beginnings yeah, Cherry told me,” he admitted. 

She grimaced. “Yeah, guess she misunderstood the message,” y/n said, with the least poison she could. 

Tom gulped, “I—yeah, but I assumed you meant you’d have a new beginning, one without me—“

“I meant we had a new one,” she cleared up. “And I mean—“

“Well—I get that now, but I didn’t back then and I thought it was ironic, it was—-I wasn’t doing okay, I was just—and then, it got worse…. how I was diagnosed with a heartbreak just—“

“What?” 

Tom shrugged, “it hurt and I wasn’t feeling myself and—“

Y/N then regretted writing the script again, remembering the sole reason she had initially started it with all honesty, to make him feel the heartbreak, to make him go through that pain she’d gone through. How ever could she wish for the love of her life such a pain? 

It was her turn to hold his hand. Such a weird conversation they were having. Just listening to each other, no complaining, no interrupting, just listening to what the other feels. 

“You were diagnosed?” She questioned. Had he felt as bad as her? 

“I went to the doctor and they said my body—had gotten used to being—around you, we exchanged chemicals or whatever that—Well, made me happy and then—it was gone” he cleared his throat. “I was going through withdrawal of love or so the doctor said, and it’s apparently normal to have a physical reaction because of stress and levels—“

“Of cortisol yeah,”y/n knew what he meant as she approached him, he hesitated but then held her close.. “I’m sorry—I’m—sorry you had to go through that.” 

“You’ve been there too, huh?” He asked. “That’s why Valerie—“

“Yeah,” she let him go just slightly, still close enough to feel him breathing, and looked up at him. It made sense though she still couldn’t quite find the piece to forgive him for being with her bloody cousin, she—understood. 

“I know it sounds like an excuse, and I know it shouldn’t—“he cleared his throat, “but I didn’t mean it to be with your cousin—I guess I was just trying to find back something that made me happy—someone that could get me out of it, you know? To relieve some stress, I guess.” 

She understood. 

“Yeah, which is—“She bit her lip. “What kind of happened with Tim, the first time.” 

Tom grimaced then. 

“Maybe that’s why I was so broken-hearted,” she stated. “Seeing you and Cherry, I mean. Thought Cherry would be your Tim.” 

Tom nodded. “Is that why you slept with him?” 

It was far more complicated than that, honestly. 

“Do you love him?” Tom added. 

She took a deep breath. “I did love Tim,” she stated and then took a deep breath. “Still do, not going to lie but—not in the way that—I love him as an old friend, it doesn’t come close to what I feel for you,” she bit her lip, “I guess I’m grateful for him, for taking me out of dark place, I’ve told you about it before—I—I’ve always known he loves me and after a while of listening to everyone say we were meant to be I guess I bought into the idea and—not anymore,” she nodded. “I think what’s different this time is that I know that I love you and only you and—I slept with him.  But you said it loneliness blinds and I was in desperate need to be loved and—he offers that—to love me unconditionally—“

“Don’t I love you unconditionally?” Tom questioned. 

Did he? She stared at his eyes. She didn’t want to go there, though she wanted to believe he did. “You see Tom, I felt worthless and replaceable and the one person who was never made me feel...replaceable is Tim.” 

“Have I?” He asked.

“Yes, twice—or even more, like that one time at the club or now with Cherry,” she said. “It hurt, Tom—“

“I mean—I—well, what about when you broke up? He brought another girl to Harry’s and Sam’s party.” 

“This isn’t about—“she sighed. “This isn’t about Tim.” 

“What is it then?” 

“I think we both try to ignore our biggest baggage,” she stated. 

“Rome—“

“Not quite.” 

“What?”

She plopped on the bed. “We hated each other our whole lives and sometimes we pretend as if we didn’t.” 

Tom bit his lip. “I didn’t,” he intertwined his hand with hers before laying down to place a soft kiss on her cheek. 

“No, Tom—I mean,” she cleared her throat as his lips kept brushing against her cheek towards her neck, “I know we are all—well this way—“

He grinned before kissing her neck. “This way?” He asked before looking up at her. 

She rolled her eyes, “Yes—this way.”

“Which way?” He asked again, before kissing her sweetly, and deeply. 

“Tom.” 

“This one?” He kissed behind her ears as his hands landed on her waist. “Or… this one?” He was kissing his way across her face. 

“Tommy—“she said softly. “No,” she shook her head. “No, yes, yes I mean that way,” she said blushing, “but we weren’t always like this,” she stated as she kept being peppered with kisses. “even if we try to pretend we were—“

“I’m not pretending.” 

“Tom, I mean how many pictures did you have to search to get the one for my birthday?”

He licked his lips, “uh—“

“Like all of our pictures— we hated  each other, and I mean—“she closed her eyes since his lips had found its way back to her skin, threading through her neck. “Tom.” 

“I’m listening, darling” he mumbled in between kisses. 

“Tommy,” she pleaded again. “You’re not listening.” 

“I am, you’re saying we hated each other and I know that did but I am just trying to prove to you that we are in a very different position right now.” 

And they were, literally and metaphorically speaking as he kept kissing her neck. 

She decided to enjoy it then, “Now, we are—“she took a deep breath. “but—but, but, but, but  our whole lives we were enemies and we never truly had a transition from it.” 

He hummed a chuckle, “I think we had a very clear transition.” He had smirked as he looked up back at her, sight digging to her. 

“Please,” she scoffed. “even the first time we had sex we pretended to hate each other.” 

He raised his brows. “Huh we did. We’ve had sex on the weirdest of situations.” 

“Yes and we kept being rude after that—“

“And then we slept together again and again and—“

“Yes I know, I know!” She interrupted him as he laughed, making her giggle.  “but—it’s weird though—it’s—Tom,” she couldn’t stop her laugh. “Tom it’s weird.”

“What is?”

“I think that’s why we avoid fighting,” she stated.

“We don’t—“

“We are avoiding it right now,” she pointed out, “because we spent our whole lives fighting—“

“And we were very good at it,” Tom acknowledged.

“Yes and we probably avoid it because—“

“We might end up hurting each other,” Tom finished her sentence. 

“Yeah.” 

“Old habits never wear out.” 

Tom finally rolled off of her and took a deep breath. They stayed quiet, for a bit, as if they had to listen now to their own very thoughts. To make room for their own feelings. For most of their lives they’d been enemies and then this and—how y/n always flaked on feelings and how complicated she was. It was weird, she’d always pushed every single guy away because she had feelings with Tom and now she was pushing Tom away, and she didn’t know why. But she didn’t want to push him away. 

His hands above his head, her hands above her heart.

Did they need to be rational? Or did they have to follow their feelings?

“What do we have to do?” He asked after a while. 

She sat up and hugged her knees. “I—don’t know, “ she sighed. “Are we being rational?”

“If we are, then do we—“

“What would rational people do?” She scoffed. 

Tom gulped. “Break up?”

She looked back at him, with fear. She knew those words were coming but she had avoided them. Did they have to?

“I don’t want to break up,” he stated quickly. 

She felt a relief, “I don’t either.” 

He sat up. “But—do we have to?” 

“I don’t know, maybe it would be the rational thing to do—“she pursed her lips. “Yet, I don’t want to lose you, because though—we’ve been through hell, losing you would be the one heartbreak I would never be able to heal from.” 

That made Tom smile as he pulled her close to him. Y/N knew that their love story wasn’t one girls would wish for, it wasn’t a picture perfect, magazine like love story. It was full of hatred and reckless feelings. And looking back at it, y/n would always get a pain in her chest, not sure why. Was it torture? It couldn’t be. Why was she so invested in him? Why did she love him so much if she’d been warned with signs all over again? Was he worth the pain? 

There was that feeling that the flashing lights were blinding her again, that there was a clear sign to get away from him and rush and escape, but she’d find her way back to him. Because it was thrilling, and exciting. But they were lost, very lost. And they could pretend they could last forever, and they would if they tried to but right now there was no clear path, though it was simple and though they were in love, it just… hurt. Being apart from him seemed like the worst kind of torture she could think of. 

It was scary to stay, too. Because what if they lost their minds, too? Things hadn’t changed, not much. Not really. Y/N was still so in love with him, but she was exactly in the same position she was when she’d let him. 

What if they escaped? 

But they still had to talk about a lot of things. Because escaping was following their hearts, and they probably had to be rational, for once. 

Harry was, on the other hand, tired of being rational. For once he wanted to follow his heart. He didn’t. He instead was going through the most recent events which he couldn’t quite map yet. He knew about Tom and y/n…. 

Harry didn’t know anything about them. He didn’t care. 

That’s a lie. He did care. Just not right now. Harry had a lot in his head. And it seemed like the roles had been reversed, him and Emma were not talking or anything. And probably Tom and y/n were. 

Or were they? 

Y/N had not answered and this was typical of y/n. She did this thing of running away, that's what she did the best, he knew that. But she usually ran to him. 

And she had, last night. 

He felt wrong. And Harry wasn’t sure if he was prepared to deal with y/n and Tom breaking up. Not because he didn’t want to be a friend with y/n but because he’d barely had anyone to deal with it. His own breakup, because of course the room had been on Tom. Usually, it was. Harry never minded but right now he needed some help for himself. 

And he knew that probably if Tom and y/n broke up it would be intense. 

Not because of y/n. Y/N didn’t make her breakups intense. 

Tom did. 

But not y/n, Harry knew that. Except when it came to Tom. Like when after Rome, y/n pushed everyone away. 

But after Louis all y/n needed was a night watching The Breakfast Club and pizza. 

Even after Tim, well, that had been harder. 

They’d broken up on New Years Eve. Harry still remembered it happened at that one party, right outside it. While everyone was having fun, getting their asses drunk and dancing to the music, y/n had walked back into the room, boyfriend less and with her mascara run across her face. Just slightly, as she’d run to the bathroom. 

He remembered how Tim had also walked in and rushed to Emma. Emma had spent a certain amount of time listening to Timmy, but eventually came back to Harry, and kissed him at midnight. Harry knew by then. 

Emma was the love of his life, undeniably flawed but perfect for him. Not the one couple you’d think that would end up together but the one that after seeing it, made sense. 

Emma had stayed to help him clean up, and he remembered staying up all night, seeing the sun coming out. Talking nonsense. 

Emma told him y/n and Tim had broken up. 

Harry didn’t know why they had broken up by then, but he had guessed it right after they hadn’t kissed at midnight that something was wrong. The very next day y/n had shown up to Tom’s place looking for Harry, she had avoided Tom and ran up straight to Harry and even Emma. Emma had gone to her best friend. Knowing Tim needed her. 

Y/n had explained to him how it had gone as they kept cleaning up. 

“I fucked up,” she had said, “I may have lost the love of my life for some stupid whim of mine.” 

“What happened?” 

“We are on a break,” she explained. “He said he can’t be second to my heart and I don’t blame him.” 

“And is he?” 

She had stopped, staring at a bottle. Harry remembered Tom had shown up to the kitchen. 

“What are you doing here, y/n? Gathering your breakfast? Didn’t know you had to scatter for trash here, thought you had Tim for that.” 

Y/N ignored him, knowing damn well that ignoring Tom was her greatest weapon. Probably the reason why she had left this last time. Not giving Tom any attention was what he hated the most. 

And she ignored him that time. 

“You’re not welcome here, y/n, may I remind you.” 

Harry turned to him. “Not now, Thomas.” 

“Unless she helps us clean, at least be useful for once y/n,” Tom continued as he approached them. “Why the long face, y/n, it’s a new year, you know how they—new year, new you, maybe you’ll get a new chance to dump Tim or he might dump you.” 

“Thanks, Tom, glad to know though it’s a new year you’re still the same piece of shit,” y/n had snaked. 

Tom had left, eventually. 

“Then?” Harry asked. “Why did you break up?” 

“It was a boring breakup,” that had been one of the first times y/n had lied to Harry. Or rather, purposefully lied to him. “I—“and she had opened up. Crying, slowly. Quietly. “I don’t know—I mean I knew it was coming, everything went down after the proposal and I’m—“

“But if you didn’t want to marry him—“

“But maybe I should, I—I can’t keep holding to a whim that makes absolutely no sense.” 

“What whim, y/n?” Though Harry thought he knew the answer. 

“Dunno, he said we should—meet other people, he told me to get—my feelings sorted out.” 

“Did you give him the ring back?”

“He asked me not to, and maybe I won’t—maybe I’ll end up wearing it one day.” 

 And y/n had been different after that breakup. She had been quiet but she hadn’t made a big deal out of it, quietly swallowing her thoughts, she’d be around more, though. 

She would want to hang out more and propose crazy schemes and ideas. With y/n it was more movie nights, and giving a shoulder if she needed to cry. 

So, Harry wasn’t fearful of that. He knew how to deal with y/n’s breakups which only involves hanging out more.

However he had never seen her break up with Tom. And it is fair to say that most of the breakups y/n had had were because she had feelings for Tom. So of course, last night Harry had finally seen y/n in her truest form, y/n crying because she loved Tom. 

It seemed like a paradox, really. How most breakups had been because of Tom and now she was most likely to break up with him. 

But Harry could deal with it. 

With Tom, though. Harry knew he’d have to deal with Tom’s anger or sadness or whatever. And he’d have to listen and watch and… 

he didn’t need that. He loved his brother but Tom made everything big, and Harry, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud, was on y/n’s side, even after everything, because Harry had been on the first row to Tom’s awful way to treat y/n. Harry wasn’t a fan of it. 

Because, Harry was well aware that though Tom and y/n had fucked up recently, he knew that their main trouble was their past haunting them, both of them knowing exactly how to hurt each other. Y/N, in Harry’s mind, had run away after the script incident exactly because she knew that would get Tom. Even if she didn’t do it purposefully, in her mind, she probably wanted Tom to feel her absence because if there was something Tom hated was to not be given attention. 

And Tom knew how much y/n hated being replaced, so that’s probably why he had searched for Cherry. 

Because even if Tom and y/n liked to ignore it, Harry knew they were still the same kids who knew how to hurt the other, and that was their biggest problem. If they kept ignoring that they’d learned their whole lives how to make the other cry, they wouldn’t understand why they’re crying right now. 

So, complicated. 

Harry wanted a break on his own, and he wanted to sleep, take a shower, get his mind off of everything. However no one had warned him. There was still that feeling of slight guilt, how he wasn’t being true to himself. There were a lot of things that Harry regretted, kissing y/n wasn’t one of them, because he needed to know how he felt, and though he’d known it for a while, that Emma was supposed to be his endgame, he needed to know how it felt. And Harry did go back to the kiss every now and then, and how it hadn’t felt like he had expected it to go. 

It had been sad, but beautiful, honestly. Y/N had kissed him back, as if she herself had been exploring her own feelings, too. 

She’d been late to her own feelings. And Harry did wonder from time how things would’ve gone had one slight thing been different. But they wouldn’t have worked out, Harry knew. 

Because y/n was meant to be with Tom, and Harry was meant to be with Emma. 

And it would’ve been a tragedy, Harry knew, those that felt like dreams, with the sun setting with a bittersweet melody. Had they been together, Harry knew, their love affair wouldn’t have lasted and it would have been sad, and Harry didn’t know why. He knew they’d be picture perfect, one of those reminiscent loves one likes to go back to, because they seem like only a memory. It would’ve been a good one, though, but very short. Tasteful dates, probably, but then Harry would’ve had that guilt, knowing that y/n loved Tom and knowing Tom loved y/n. 

It was more than that, he knew that he wouldn’t have worked it out. Not like with Emma, a marvelous love that could fit in that pendant that Emma still owned.  

Harry loved Emma. But someone should’ve warned him. No one had warned him that he’d be walking home to a fight. 

Though he wasn’t sure what he’d heard. 

“Friends? We both have feelings, you’re wearing my clothes and we just-- and you’re suggesting being friends?” Harry could hear Tom, as Harry rolled his eyes exhausted. 

“Yes,” y/n had answered. 

“Friends don’t have sex,” Tom had pushed. Harry wondered if Tom thought his relationship with y/n was merely sex, and if it was, then Harry understood a lot about them. 

“Well, you see, we wouldn’t have sex and you know, even if we...you were friends with my cousin and you had sex with her just fine,” y/n had said. Harry blinked. They were still having that conversation. 

“We are back to that,” Tom sounded angry. 

Harry didn’t know if he had to leave. 

“Yes Tom we are back to that,” y/n sounded tired. “Oh, so you thought that by just kissing me I would forget it-” 

“I mean I didn’t but I didn’t think we would have had sex if you weren’t going to consider accepting my apology, and we were doing fine, y/n,”  Tom sounded angry. 

“Yeah I— breakup sex never heard of it?” Y/N had this terrible flaw of calming down and the bursting out with anger again. 

“Is that what it is?” Tom snapped. 

And Tom had the fatal one of being too stubborn and proud to try and solve things. 

“I guess it’s what it’s supposed to be, Tom!” Y/n answered. Harry groaned. “You slept with my cousin, she kissed you last night—I slept with my ex, I don’t even know why we are trying to solve it.” 

“Because we love each other, I love you-” At least Tom sounded a bit more calmed now. 

“Yeah well maybe we shouldn’t and we haven’t realized that,” Y/N said. “No I… I didn’t mean that, alright? I know it, I love you, so, so, so much but this… Tom.” 

Harry also knew that y/n was one to always be conflicted with what she was supposed to do, or feel, hence why she dated Tim and hence why she had tried having feelings for Harry. 

“No y/n we—I thought we’d gone past that,” Tom was one to never know what to say. 

“Well we haven’t, clearly,” y/n’s voice was quiet. 

“Y/N, please.” 

“I don’t know, okay?” And Harry knew that y/n probably really didn’t know. “I love you,” she did. “But I’m—hurt and I’m—angry and I know that wasn’t—Well it wasn’t very smart of me but I’m—This is why I need a break but we can’t really take a break because I can’t be away from you because of the script our friends—” 

This was y/n fearing the surrounding. 

Harry felt guilty listening to them but he also needed to know what he’d be dealing with. 

“Yes the script,” Tom said. 

“Which you shouldn’t have accepted to direct in the first place—Why would you want to direct the thing that broke us apart?” Y/N had raised her voice. 

“It wasn’t the script that broke us apart and you know it,” Tom snapped. 

“Didn’t it?” Y/N snapped. 

This sounded more like the Tom and y/n Harry knew, fighting and challenging each other. But he knew they didn’t mean it. 

“It’s so much more than that.” 

“Then there you have your answer Tom, we don’t—We would end up here anyway so let’s just stay friends while we—While we film.” 

Tom groaned. “Why can’t we keep being a couple?” 

“Because you slept with my cousin, I slept with my ex, a normal couple would break up.” 

But they weren’t a normal couple. 

“I don’t want to break up,” Tom said. “We were working it out, y/n, what happened? You checked your phone-” 

“Yes and Cherry texted me, and Cherry says she has her version, and I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear how she fell in love with you, and how you broke her heart or whatever, and I got angry again, and she can--” 

“We were doing fine-” 

“No, we weren’t, or...we were avoiding it,” she said. “Like we’ve done before because this, this is our nature, fighting.” 

“It’s not.” 

It was. 

“It is.” 

“Y/N, I love you, with all my heart, and I can’t be away from you,” Harry heard Tom say. 

“I know Tom and I feel the same way, but--”

“We could try, y/n we just… We were okay, we just had sex it must mean something.” 

Had they really had sex? Harry couldn’t believe them. 

“So you agree?” she asked. “you’re saying sex does mean something. It’s your words. Did it mean anything with her?” 

“Not with her but… when it comes to us it does.” 

“Why did you have sex with her?” She asked, perplexed as if trying to understand it herself. Harry assumed she’d asked that question a million times before. 

“Because I missed you.” 

“So what?” She snapped. “Because we share dna you thought your dick—”

“We already went over this,” Tom reminded her. 

There was a moment of silence. Harry really felt bad for  peaking their conversation. 

“Did you kiss her back, last night?” Y/N asked. 

“I didn’t and you know that, why would I?” Tom answered.

“I dunno … I’m… I’m sorry I just… thought.” 

“What?” 

“I thought maybe being friends would be the answer.” 

Harry approached them, they were in the kitchen.

“You said that after we just had sex,” Tom pointed out. 

“Oh my god you had sex?” Harry asked, perplexed just as he had walked into the kitchen, not because he really wanted to question that, though he did but to make them realize he was there. Thankfully they were fully clothed. 

“Harry!” Y/N said. 

Tom only closed his eyes with stress. 

“You guys had sex?” Harry asked again, now because he meant it. Had they had sex instead of talking? 

Both y/n and Tom looked away, embarrassedly. Y/N was sitting on the counter, her arms folded above her chest and Tom right beside her. 

Harry looked around at the kitchen. “Please tell me you didn’t have sex here.” 

“No,” Tom snapped. “Harry we’re in the middle of a conversation.” 

Yeah, he knew, he’d heard half of it. 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” Harry said. Because honestly he didn’t. “Especially you,” he said, glancing at y/n. “You tend to… run away and not face your problems so I didn’t know.” 

y/n cleared her throat. “I want to fix things.” 

“You didn’t think we’d be here?” Tom asked. 

Harry shrugged. “I thought you’d be searching for her, and she’d be hiding,” Harry admitted. “I’m sorry, I’m going to leave you guys.” 

“You really didn’t-?”Tom questioned again. 

Harry wasn’t sure why. 

“No,” Harry said. “I figured you’d be fighting somewhere, not home having sex oh my god that’s gross.” 

Tom and y/n both groaned. 

“Look, our relationship is complicated,” Y/N said. 

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I know, so I’ll leave you to it, I’m gonna go take a shower and not bother you but please if you’re gonna - at least wait until I....leave, please.” 

“We’re not-” Y/n tried to say. 

Tom scoffed. “Look, you don’t--” 

“No, I don’t, I’m sorry, you guys keep-” Harry gulped and turned around.. 

“Wait, Harry,” Y/N said. 

Harry took a deep breath and turned back to them. 

“What would you do?” Y/N asked. 

Tom frowned. “What?” 

“Please, he’s the only person who is rational here,” y/n said. 

“I thought this was between us,” Tom whispered. 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” she sighed. 

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, but what would you do, Harry?” ” 

“I don’t know. Talk. Be sincere with the other I’m—Look I’m sorry but—” Harry rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to be involved.” 

He wanted to say ‘Y/N last night you were devastated and now you’re telling me you had sex with this man?’ How last night y/n regretted falling for Tom.

Harry knew she probably didn’t mean it, and the way she ws 

What did Tom do to make her so vulnerable? And what did she do for Tom to be so little when it came to her. 

He didn’t. He didn’t listen to what they said after that. Harry was tired, and they were bickering, something along the lines of not being able to move forward with their talking, and something along the lines of not wanting to break up, and also being supposed to do it. They were loud, as if both of them were trying to give their excuses to Harry but that they wanted to stay together, or whatever mess they were saying. Something about Cherry, something about Tim, and then the script. He even heard Harrison’s, Clark’s name. 

They were bombarding Harry with information he didn’t care for, with excuses and warning signs and trying to solve their problems. How they were okay for a bit, and how Tom was stressed about how she had turned angry again out of the blue and y/n saying that they hadn’t truly talked about it, how they kept avoiding it, and how y/n had offered to be friends with Tom while filming because dating was too complicated because Tim was around, and how when they would go back. How she didn’t want to ruin the script and how Tom didn’t want to either. There was a constant, ‘but I love him’ ‘but I love her’ they’d tell Harry, ‘but I love you’, they’d say to each other. How it was better to break up but neither of them wanted to. 

“Everything was easier when you both hated each other,” Harry blurted without even knowing he had. Maybe because it had been what he had been wanting to say since he’d found out they were dating, back from when they were in New York. He didn’t mean it. 

Both Tom and y/n backed away. 

“I’m sorry,” Harry said with regret. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry … I didn’t.” 

Tom coughed, “no, but it was.” 

Because Tom agreed. And not in a way that he wished they were back on that, no, but it seemed like things were easier. At least he didn’t have to care about what he did, or… No, he just didn’t want to be in this mess. And he was angry now, why had y/n suggested being friends? They could be everything but friends. 

Going back to enemies was easier, even. Easier than being friends at least. He needed a drink to talk it with her, go back to the calm afternoon they had been sharing. And Tom was feeling lonely. Because y/n wasn’t listening to him, she was just trying to get into her world and she didn’t know what she… No, that was the problem, she knew what she was supposed to do and she always listened to what she was supposed to do. A breakup was the thing that made sense, for both but neither of them wanted to break up. 

But Tom felt like she suddenly changed, as if she didn’t even know him. As if he was standing in front of her and she didn’t recognize her. He needed time, patience and time to talk with her. Because he loved her and he didn’t care if he looked vulnerable while doing it. And she wasn’t listening. She hadn’t truly listened to him all this afternoon while Tom tried to prove to her that it was her and only her whom he loved. That they weren’t enemies anymore. That though it had been them, that didn’t define them now. 

Why couldn’t he say it? Why was it so difficult saying what he meant? Tom was never good with words, he just didn’t know how to phrase it without screwing it up. It didn’t help that y/n was good with words when she wanted to, sometimes it seemed like though she was building up what she was saying as she went by, it was as if she’d thought her words for an hour at least. Yet her decision making process was always blurry. 

Harry gulped, “I’m sorry, no, I’m happy you guys are- Well no I’m not happy I-I mean.” 

“I think we should take another break y/n,” Tom said. 

“What? No, don’t break up-” Harry gulped. “Or I mean you can…” 

“No, I mean, we need a… water break,” Tom said, knowing that y/n would understand what he meant. “Maybe go for a drive, I don’t know.” 

Harry felt guilty, Tom could tell. 

“Yeah, no, fine,” y/n agreed. “I’ll go get another jacket, I’m cold, again.” 

Tom watched her leave and breathed heavily. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say-” Harry started. 

“No, I-I know you didn’t but I get it,” Tom sighed. “It’s not easy, I’m-” 

“How--how is it going?” 

“We were okay… and then we started fighting again because we got back to it, and we went in circles and I dunno, I think… I… we can work it out but, then she suggested being friends and,” Tom rubbed his face. “I don’t know. I just can’t be friends with her, and… I know she meant it for the best because we have to be around but I can’t just…” 

Harry watched him. “She was really heartbroken last night,” Harry warned. 

“Yeah, I know, I can’t blame her,” Tom said, stressed. 

“No, really, Tom, she was… devastated, so her coming to you and wanting to work it out, just… give time to each other,”  Harry said. “She really, really loves you,Tom,” Harry continued. “But really, just… talk, alright?” 

“What would you really do?” Tom asked. “You know her, what does she-” 

“You know her, too,” Harry pointed out. “Just use it for good, this time.” 

Tom didn’t know what to do with what Harry had said, and there in the car, with y/n. Both of them quietly, with the windows up and the radio off. 

“Where… do you want to go?” Tom asked. 

She shrugged, she was wearing his jacket around her shoulders. “Let’s go to New York,” she joked. “We worked fine there.” 

Tom smiled, slightly. “No, really.” 

“I… I don’t know,” she sighed. “There’s… Um, there’s this very cheesy place.” 

“Cheesy place? You know a cheesy place?” Tom chuckled. “Who would’ve thought?” 

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s this place, near a beach, you can see the ocean and there are flowers and there are rocks and it’s quiet and nice.” 

“Near the beach,” Tom seemed thrilled. “But… rocks? Are you trying to murder me?” 

“Maybe,” she chuckled. “No, I mean, it’s nice, we can go elsewhere if you’d like, to that diner or-” 

“No, the beach sounds nice,” he nodded. 

Then quiet again, then at least, Tom had turned on to okay some music and he’d rolled the windows down for the rest of the ride. Tom was still processing the multiple conversations they’ve had, and how he did understand where they were coming from. Every single one of them. But he couldn’t help but look at y/n’s flying hair. 

And, alas, they still had some hope. Or Tom liked to think that. Now that the sun was on the way to set, and as they were on that spot, near a beach, wtih an incredible view, and flowers, just like y/n had said. But she hadn’t given the place the fairness she should have. 

It was quiet, and in any other circumstance it would’ve probably been romantic. The sun merely setting, the perfect day, but this wasn’t what romance felt like. Or maybe it was, in the very Tom and y/n way. 

"Harry isn’t right, it wasn’t easy when we were enemies, not for us at least, it hurt more ” Y/n had said,  as she was leaning against the car, arms crossed. 

“Yeah, we’ve been in worse states than this,” Tom said, right beside her. 

“I’m sorry I asked Harry,” she said. “And-” 

“No, I get it,” Tom said. “We were going in circles and maybe it was good he walked in before we continued the loop.” 

She took a deep breath. “I.. sorry I just exploded with Cherry’s texts.” 

Tom nodded. “No, I get it, I would’ve gotten worse had I received a text by Tim.” 

“We can’t make any promises now, can we?” She asked. 

Tom took a deep breath. “I don’t know.” 

“I… look, the being friends thing isn’t….” she gulped. “I thought it was the safest way to keep seeing each other, and not being this mess, but I…” 

“Yeah, but being friends means we break up,” Tom said. “And I can’t… break up with you, I love you, y/n,” he said to her and she gulped, “am I allowed to say that?” 

“I—yes—why wouldn’t you?” 

Tom watched her, he knew she loved him, and looking into her eyes were just the answer he needed. “Dunno, seems like it hurts you every time  I say it or try to prove it to you like it’s the worst thing you could possibly hear.” 

She blinked watching him, “I—no, that’s not true.” 

“Then why else are you—rejecting me—“

“I’m not rejecting you Tom, I’m—“she reached for his hand. “This is a very complicated situation, Tom.”

“What’s complicated about it?” His hand pushed her chin up to face him, as his other hand landed on her waist. “I love you and I want to date you and I want to—“

She sighed as she looked away. 

“See, this is what I mean,” Tom sighed as he backed away

“I’m not trying to reject you, Tom, I need you to listen to me, and I need you to talk,” she said. “And it’s what I mean too, Tom, we can’t pretend we are not angry or hurt, I—but…”she reached out to him and cupped his face. “I’m so incredibly in love with you too so I’m just not sure what I need to do. And I know you want to—“

“Yes let’s stay together.” 

“But—I feel like we can’t, and I don’t know why.” 

Tom pursed his lips, riveting her with his arms, “why not?” 

“I—dunno, it makes no sense. But—I love you.” She let him go and then leaned back against the car, staring at the beautiful view she was offered, the sea plummeting the rocks nearby as the sun was setting far from them, painting the sky a perfect pink and lilac paradise. One very much beautiful sunset that y/n would probably treasure. 

It was odd, the flowers surrounding them were all yellow, as if y/n had planned to be surrounded by yellow flowers or it was probably a coincidence playing them fair and square. There was barely any space for a beach, for the shore was covered with big boulders. 

The sea splashing against them was the only sound they could hear for a bit, for they went quiet. 

“It is a cheesy place,” Tom pointed out after a while as he had paced around to take in the view. “Suits you.” 

She scoffed and nodded. “The flowers add to it all.”she looked at him “Was it too soon?” She asked. “We just.. Went for it, you know, we should’ve talked about it first and then start the relationship or whatever we were doing.” 

Tom looked at her and reached for her hand, “I don’t think it was—No, maybe, yeah, a bit soon, but—“

“Why—how Can you be so calm?” She asked him. 

He looked her in the eye, “I guess I have to be.” 

“Right.” 

“I don’t hold any grudges against you, y/n, I thought we’d grown past the needs of any,” he pointed out. 

Y/N breathed in heavily, “I—would like to say I don’t have any grudges, but I wouldn’t call them that way, I’m just—I built in so many walls Tom and guess I haven’t been able to tumble down some. But—I am willing to work this out so—“

“Will you now? Or are we going to back away again?” 

“I’m scared,” she admitted. “Not of you, of me and how—I can’t seem to handle my heartache but, if anything Harry made a point today.” 

“He did?” 

“I usually run away from you and I tend to avoid solving things,” she confessed. “Except today.” 

“I thought you had walked in to murder me,” Tom said, only half joking. 

“No, I just burst in, with the fear of the past, which isn’t a grudge but my heart finally showed what I fear with you, that it’s all some elaborate prank that—“

“It’s not.” 

“I know, I know, I know you love me and I know I love you but last night I—felt that way again, alright? That’s—that’s why we need to understand,  I felt like watching the same old scene we’d gone through before, and I—for once wanted to change the ending.” 

Tom understood, she’d seen her so devastated in the morning, so broken, so not her. Or maybe the truest form when it came to her heartache with Tom. 

“I don’t—No, I won’t hurt you,” Tom stated. 

“I know, that’s why I brought you here.” 

“How did you discover it?” 

“I would like to say I discovered them on an adventure while trying to find myself but I actually—discovered this place with—“

Tom squinted, was it with Tim? “Please don’t say Tim.” 

“With my aunt,” she finished. “She showed it to me.”

Tom sucked in his inner cheeks, embarrassed he’d assumed Tim. 

“Tim is an issue isn’t it,” y:n pointed out, not an answer needed. 

“Yeah,” Tom confessed, “but I am willing to compromise avd peor your friendship with him if that means you and I stay together.” 

“I can’t keep being friends with him,” she said. And those were the words Tom had been waiting to hear for  a long, long time. 

“Oh.” 

“No, not when he expects me to love him back,” she said. “And not when it bothers you, and—“

Tom watched her with curiosity, trying to understand if it came from his jealousy or if she genuinely didn’t want to be friends with him. 

“Besides, I don’t know, I don’t want someone who is my friend only to see if they’re getting somewhere,” she continued. “I know he tried sabotaging us and he was probably relying on you sabotaging yourself, at—at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if he told Cherry something along the lines to make her believe you loved her back.” 

“Did she—?”

“Oh of course she did, Tom, I saw it, that’s my big issue, that she was—She—She was like me after Rome, such a fool believing that from you, now she was the victim.” 

“But you were—“

“I don’t blame her, Tom, her only sin was falling for you and it’s not difficult to,” y/n explained. “Though I may have always said you’re not easy to love, it comes to my attention how actually I’m wrong, how I keep proving myself wrong and you do too, for god’s sake it only takes you a smile to get me all stupid.” 

Tom gulped with guilt. 

“I will—“she bit her bottom lip, “I will listen to her version. And I—not as to find proof to leave you, because if I was looking for any I would’ve left by now.” 

Tom was hurt by that statement. 

“But I don’t want to leave you because though you’d given me dozens of reasons not to love you, I’m afraid you’ve also given me a thousand reasons to keep loving you,” she sentenced but Tom listens to the way she was saying it, as if it hurt her to say it. 

“Y/N—“

“I want you to apologize to her,” y/n stated. “Explain to her, kindly but please nothing that could open a window for her, but—“y/n squinted, “I just don’t—want you to be the bad guy, okay? I’ll also clear it out to her.” 

Tom didn’t know where that had come from. 

“And—I will—find a new place,” she nodded. “I can’t keep being roommates with Tim if I want to work this out with you, besides it can be a small place, I mean I’m only here until we finish filming and—Well then when I go back to London I’m afraid I will have Cherry as my roommate but—that’s a future problem right now—I will look for a place.” 

Tom nodded. 

Y/n licked her lips. “Now, come here,” she said. 

Tom watched her with surprise, and walked over as he was received by her open arms, he smiled slightly before she pressed her lips against his, a warm kiss, soft enough as her hands travelled to his hair and his fingers pressed into her waist. 

“Don’t you ever dare to say that I don’t like hearing you say you love me,” she stated making him smile. Y/N always thought his smile was the prettiest thing she’d ever seen. 

“I-” 

Her hands travelled down to his chest and then to the hem of his pants, she toyed with them as she pulled him closer, pulling him by the edge of his boxers now. He blushed. 

“Oh?” He chuckled as her hands went up his stomach, her cold fingers threading lightly, tracing each and every muscle he had. 

Tom took a deep breath, shivering slightly as she carefully advanced her way through his body. She was decisive, for once. 

“Y/N?” Tom asked, slightly hesitant. 

“Sh,” she ordered before kissing him again, in the very way she knew he loved, making both of their heartbeats go faster, nervously as he felt his skin was creeping each time her hands were tracing the perfectly declined v-line that lead to where y/n’s secrets where hiding. Then to his back and far down his ass, squeezing it to make him giggle. 

Tom weakened to her touch as he tried to push his body as close to her, probably trying to merge into one, pushing her. against the car. 

“No,” she said as she pulled away, pushing him away as she turned him and pushed him against the car instead, so casually kissing him, not losing her own control. And then, we had Tom who was melting each time her fingers touched any part of his body, nothing too sensual, but it felt so intimate. It was her kissing him, not like before, it was her kissing him, his face, his neck, on that sweet spot she’d discovered he liked. 

Y/N was perfectly aware Tom and her had different love languages, and Tom’s was...mostly physical, though y/n’s was in words, she’d finally understood that Tom was angry because she was saying it but not doing it, and she was terrified that he’d end up walking away, so she decided to talk to him in his language. 

He’d memorized her body so she could only do the same for him, as she watched him just like she always wanted to watch him, like he was her favorite movie, or he was the words she always longed to write. 

“I love you,” she said to him. “My mind is just a very complicated space.” 

He nodded as he looked into her eyes. She intertwined her fingers with his and led the way to the backseat of the car, he chuckled nervously. 

“Y/N, see this is why we can’t be friends,” he pointed out as he was interrupted by y/n’s kiss again as she dragged him into the car. “Hm—y/n—y/n,” he chuckled as he was pushed into the sit, y/n on top of him, carefully peppering with kisses all across his face. 

*

She shushed him again as she finally sat on his lap, legs opened and wrapped around him, still kissing him deeply and softly as she brushed her lips across his jawline

“Y/N—I’m pretty sure this is illegal, darling,” he said half complaining as he threw his head back, letting himself enjoy her lips as her hands were still teasing him on the edge of his muscles, her fingers threading lightly still to the muscles that connected his legs to his torso. 

She chuckled as she whispered against his ear, “that’s never stopped us before, darling.” She used his word. 

He immediately went red and turned even warmer, he knew he usually was in control of the situation so y/n being the one to be sucking on his neck as his hands went up to cup her breasts felt slightly different. 

He felt a smirk against his neck as y/n felt a hard bulge growing against her heat. Before he did anything about it, y/n’s hand finally travelled down to wrap her hand around it. 

“Fuck, y/n, fuck,” he said as he brought his hands to his head as he threw it back, defenseless. 

Y/N smirked, “what do you want, baby?” She asked as she slowly stroked his length, very slowly. 

Tom couldn’t put words to his mouth as she kept watching him with mischief. “I—“

“Tommy, use your words, darling,” she said as he was twitching. Y/N didn’t know where she’d gotten her attitude from, but she enjoyed watching him pleased as her hand kept slowly going up and down, very, very slowly, hearing as his breath was halting, chest going up and down. 

“Fuck me,” he pleaded, desperately. 

She pulled her hand off and continued the path from before, but her fingers were viciously touching his skin. “Care to be more specific?” She asked, with the wittiest of smirks she’d ever shown him as she slowly grinded against him, Tom was pretty sure she was spelling his name with each movement. Honestly, she didn’t know what she was doing, but seeing him so small as she rocked her hips against him gave her power. 

“Y/N,” he pleaded again. 

She wrapped her arms around him, “you’re so pretty,” she stated watching him. 

“Fucking ride me, already, y/n,” he said defeatedly. 

She laughed, blushing slightly, “okay, Tommy.” The attitude was gone. 

He laughed along, “did-” He couldn’t stop laughing now, throwing his head now back from laughter. “I love you were really into being dominant and then you just-” 

She giggled,” shut up, I’m-not, I--shut up,” she was embarrassed now. “I tried- but-shut up, you’ll ruin it, I was going to-fucking ride you.” 

He laughed. “Oh, yeah, you were.”  

She buried her face against his neck, still not able to put herself together. 

He grinned and pulled her face  up to kiss her, “I’m still turned on, darling, no worries,” he admitted as she reached into his pocket for his wallet. He was slightly amused by the fact she knew where the condoms were as she took one out and struggled to open it.

She couldn’t stop giggling, though ,and he watched her the very own way y/n loved to be watched by him, as if though she was the most stupid girl in the world, he couldn’t love anyone else. 

“God, I love you,” Tom admitted as she had finally calmed her snickering and opened the condom,  with the widest smile he could give her, and y/n only looked up to him and peppered his face with kisses. 

“I love you too,” she admitted, as she kept deepening their kiss. And she wasn’t even embarrassed because she knew that he loved her even when she was silly. Y/N knew she didn’t want to let him go, and in no way was she going to break up with him, and he was right, they couldn't be friends. Friends don’t touch each other like that. 

Actually, she thought, nobody touches each other that way, so intimate and delicately, posing and tracing each other’s bodies and hearts in sync. 

No one could ever kiss her like that, not when the sun was going down, disappearing in the ocean, as the moon had already made its way up, covered by some clouds and surrounded by the pink sky. 

They both pushed their pants and underwear down and sloppily y/n wrapped the condom around him. There were still some giggles in between their lazy kissing, before y/n finally positioned herself on top of him, letting him fill her up. 

She had to catch her breath, and Tom threw his head back but wandered his hands under the sweatshirt he had once been wearing that day. He was thankful enough y/n had decided not to use a bra as his fingers traced their way through her breasts, as y/n’s owns hands were digging against his shoulders, steadily finding her rhythm as she jumped up, and down with pleasure, as soft pants came from each of their mouths, Tom brushed his nose under her neck and down to her still covered chest, as his hands travelled down to her ass to help her rock against him. Quiet moans leaving their lips as they threw their heads back with pleasure.

Over, and over again, y/n going up and down and circling her hips to get her some friction, he got the hint and with a hand caressed her core as she jumped in and out.

“Use your words, darling,” Tom said cockily as y/n still washed with pleasure laughed. 

“Shut up, I’m--close,” was all she could say as she grinded against him, and she could tell by his face he was close too. 

Her own high washed her first but she, tiredly continued to rock against him until she felt him twitch, as he let out a moan, coming undone as he tried to catch his breath. Y/N didn’t pull out, but continued to pepper his flushed face with soft small kisses. 

“I love you,” she repeated before each single kiss. 

*

Then Tom, without even thinking about it, and knowing deep down it probably was a very stupid idea, offered the following, “what if you move in with me?” 

next chapter

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[annoyingloverbear]

ASANO GAKUSHUU X READER HEADCANNONS

Before you ask......don't ask. Yes I like assassination classroom too.

This is a HC about Y/n and Gakushuu attending the same high school.

Ohh boy do I tell you this boi fell hard for you.

And by 'fell' I mean literally fell.

It was one of those rare occasions his father being the disciplined father he is made Gakushuu walk home from school just because he didn't eat his roasted asparagus in dinner last night.

He didn't really mind tho. His home wasn't that far and he liked to see what's going on in the outside peasant world sometimes.

As he was passing a convenient store, he heard some commotion in the alley behind it.

He ignored it and started to walk his way, but he saw a glimpse of a grey uniform skirt and snapped his head towards you.

He saw you, clad in Kunigioka's grey uniform and surrounded by three tattooed bulk men.

"Come on little girl, just keep us company for some karaoke. You see my friends and I we all are really bad singers and would love some help."______"What makes you think I'm good at singing?"________" Oh I can tell you are naturally good at it little bird! Your angelic voice is like as sweet as honey to my ears."________"Back off."_________"What?"________"I said back off you pathetic excuse of a human being before I break your willy and shove it down your throats."________"YOU STUPID BITCH!!!"

He raised his hand, but before he could even swing you neck sliced him in the throat and kicked him down there. He clutched himself as you once again kicked him in his ribs and hope that the blow was enough to keep him down for a bit. You grabbed your heavy aluminium water bottle (those things hurt guys😭 not that I've been hit by one but I accidentally hit myself. it's a great, heavy yet non-obvious self defense tool so carry one around👍) and swung it towards one of his friends. A sickening clang could be audibly heard as you hit him in the head and Congratulations!! You eliminated one more player.

You turned around and swung it towards yet another person who skillfully twisted and yanked your aluminium bottle away from you. This person was similar to your build and was standing in a defensive position, so you kicked the only thing available to you, his shin.

You were surprised as you heard a rather boyish yelp as your victim fell to the ground and grabbed his aching leg. Only then you realized......

Shit it's the previous headmaster's son.

"Oh no!! I didn't mean to kick you are you okay?"_________"I'm fine thank you."

You moved your hand towards the part of his leg which was sprained and saw that he flinched. Clearly he was in pain and seeing that he took care of one of the guys who was hitting on you felt bad so you took him to your house to treat his injury no matter how much he refused.

That was it. That's how he fell for you.

He expected himself to fall for someone who was at the same level of genius as him, but apparently he was wrong.

Why you ask he fell for you? Because you were the only one who can kick his ass purple and speak sweet words to him at the same time.

Seeing that you were an average student, not too good not too bad, he didn't really have a problem with sharing his feelings for you with someone.

The first one to notice it was not Ren, but Karma. Or you could say that Karma found his theory to be correct as he eavesdropped on Gakushuu telling Ren about how he felt for you.

Ren, knowing his manipulating skills encouraged Gakushuu to manipulate one of the teachers to transfer you from class C to class A.

And so you did.

Gakushuu, Ren along with Karma and you. This was a particularly chaotic classroom.

You weren't really complaining, as your grades got better the day you stepped in the class. But you can't shake the feeling that ten pairs of eyes were watching your every movement.

(And lol that was so true😂)

Gakushuu only respectfully watched you and your subtle movements. The way you'd chew on your pencil or nails when you were stuck, the way your eyes turned big round and innocent every time you didn't understand a concept, the way you'd pick on your peach fuzz on your face when you were anxious. Every single habit, every little thing he loved about you, he would have it memorized. Heck when he was feeling stressed out about his future company finances (yes he's planning big) he would pick on his own peach fuzz and smile like an idiot as his heart relaxes and flutters at the same time.

Ren however, watched for your responses to guys. Every time the handsome professor walked in, (admit it, we all have one at some point in our life😏) you would sit up straight, your spine rid of any slouchiness from studying. The way you would cross your legs so your skirt rides up just a bit, and the way your gaze turned sly and your smirk naughty, yes this boy is serious about helping his best friend. Heck he would even come up to you and talk to you to get some type of reaction towards him, but figures out you didn't really like him (ouch!😢)

But Karma stared. And by stared I literally mean stared. Bore holes in the back of your head by staring at you too much. He didn't understand that a guy as corrupt as Gakushuu would fall for a disheveled angel like you. It's not that you weren't beautiful, but the combination of scary principal's son and a smol fluffy bean didn't seem very safe. At times you would even find Karma behaving as an older brother to you. And you weren't one to complain but rather happy that someone in here truly cares for you than judge you for your grades.

Add 7 other girls who were suspicious of you and that's all the people who keep staring at you during the time you're in class.

Every morning you hand in your homework, it was always Gakushuu. You would hand in your homework, he would scan it once and turn around to check others'.

But you knew better than that.

After school was over, you would make your way to the hallway but a strong grip held you back.

"We need to work on your Social Studies. You suck at it."______"But shuu!!!"_______"No buts. Get in the library and wait for me there."

He would drag you to the library and make you study your worst subject (which isn't fun at all🤢) but he would make it a LOT easier for you to understand.

Of course Ren gave him some tips to flirting. Hold her pinky, look in her eyes, compliment her and yada yada yada yada yada......

He did try one of them, but he almost had a heart attack from his heart beating so fast that he decided not to listen to his minio- I mean friend anymore and do it his way.

And honestly he loves his way!!

He loved the cute nicknames you made for him while you whined for him to release you. He loved it the way your face lightens up when he explains there was an easier way to solve an equation.

All the nervousness is his system had vanished.

He also got to the point where when you got an obviously easy question wrong, he would pinch your cheeks while grinning wide.

This made study time a lot easier for you.

You weren't aware that he was like that for and with you only. Only you made him feel that way.

But you found out soon when he got TOO comfortable one day and let it slip out.

"Y/n I think I have a crush on you."

As soon as he said it, blood rushed to your cheeks and drained from his.

Both of you were staring at each other for a hot minute before you broke the silence.

"You're kidding aren't you? I'm not even that smart or that much of a genius in anything. I- but-"

"Y/n I know that. But it's just something about you that I love. I- I can't express in words how much I adore you."

You were starstruck.

Asano Gakushuu. THE Asano Gakushuu likes you!!!!

But you still refused to believe yourself AND his words. Wondering if he was turning into a playboy like Ren.

All you could say was "Then show me."

The library was quiet and you two specifically picked up a spot away from other students, the librarian and surveillance cameras so both of you can goof off. Who knew that this was also the perfect place to kiss?

He gently took your hand as he first stared at your eyes and shifted his gaze to your lips. You acted confident as if you knew how to kiss but god knows you kicked the ass of your first boyfriend before he could even hold your hand.

His gaze stayed on your lips as he licked his and visibly gulped. You wanted to throw a snarky remark but seeing the boy was as edged as a cat you wouldn't dare.

Bringing one of his hands up to your cheek he slightly tilted his head as he came near you before stopping right where your lips weren't touching his but you could feel his minty breath. Obviously waiting for you if you were okay with this, you decided to close that painful space between the two of you.

As soon as your lips touched his, he was in charge. This wasn't a particularly deep or fast kiss. You weren't digging your tongues in each other's mouth but rather just moving your lips to each other, as if giving silent yet intimate messages to each other. His lips slightly glided over yours, and you definitely knew that the way he was kissing you, he was an expert hidden within an amateur. The kiss wasn't heated or passionate in any way, but it was sinfully sweet.

It lasted for about a minute, but felt like an eternity.

Pulling away he stared at you again softly before saying "Thank You" and intertwining your fingers with his.

You were too shocked to react to anything. You were an average student. You got into fights. Your mom always yells at you to behave. Your dad keeps telling you to improve your temper. Why the hell does this boy like you?

He noticed you were staring at him the same way you stared at the blackboard during class when the professor was teaching the quantum theory for the first time.

Now that this boy had finally kissed you, he was bold enough to reach out his thumb and running it over your lower lip before popping it in his mouth.

"Pineapple flavoured lip balm, huh? I thought strawberry was the preferred choice when it came to anything for girls. Including......" his eyes lowered to your legs which felt like they were bare naked in the tiny skirt.

"Shuu!!!! Don't stare at me!!" You shoved him away as he laughed and you covered your face with your sweater paws.

"I'm sorry dear. You are just so adorable I couldn't help myself." He said while stroking your hair.

Little did they know a certain playboy on the other side of the library was paying attention to them the whole time and a redhead was poking his head from above one of the bookshelves.

[7soulstars]

hey there. I don't know if you are taking requests rn so if you don't just ignore this one. I was hoping if you could do various avengers x reader .. reader has the ability to manupilate emotions , she can take away emotional pain, negativity and sadness from anyone and replace them with relief, positivity and peace, by simply hugging the person! every avenger turns to her after a mission for cuddles and comfort, you can take it from there if you like! thank you💞

 Hey darling ! Thank you so much for requesting! I really really love this request it’s really so adorable oof- I made it into a fic and I hope you like it! Anyways, lets get straight into into it !!

Euphoria

Pairing: Avengers x Avenger! Reader

Warnings: Little like really little angst, Hydra, Overwhelming fluff, Half the Avengers act like literal babies around Y/N . I HAVE ALL THE AVENGERS SAFE AND ALIVE IN THIS AND AVENGER LOKI !! Ooc characters??

Summary: Sometimes even the empath needs empathy but she refuses to say it

............

Euphoria ; the experience of excitement and intense feelings of well-being and happiness.

A silent motion walks down the streets, a silent motion called The Empathic Soul that was involved with them, The Avengers. While the rest protected, she distracted, like a guardian of the common folk who had never seen her. They wouldn’t know, but they praised, thanked and loved. Every time there was pain, there was war, there was casualties, she was there and they just knew it. They looked around but couldn’t guess. The sudden wave of calmness replacing their sorrow and panic distracting their attention from her, their silent protector.

That was what the world had named Y/N, The Empathic Soul as she watched the title flash on the TV screen at Stark towers as she sat beside Vision who was failing to crochet no matter how hard he tried. Y/N wouldn’t consider herself a hero, she didn’t fight bad guys although she was very capable of doing that, she didn’t go and almost get herself killed for the sake of getting rid of ‘pests’.

But she was an Avenger ? Yes. She was, but she didn’t consider herself a hero. 

She was behind the scenes, away from common eyes just there to clean up the mess and to take the worry of the mess out of everyone’s head. The Avengers had a polarising reputation. Although it got better after they won against Thanos there were still those who disliked them. But there was not a single civilian who would speak out the title of the Empathic Soul in despise. Y/N would like to keep it that way she had told Fury. She didn’t really have the best life growing up, the strain had given her the powers and she wouldn’t dare use it for anything other than the good of the people. She knew protecting someone came with a cost. Her powers can be used for things unimaginable, wrong things and that’s why she needed to stay anonymous.

Though not all praises about Y/N may be true, one thing was for sure. She was a gem, one of the most selfless person anyone had ever met. With or without knowing about her powers. She couldn’t stand seeing someone sad and that is what made her the sole person every single Avenger was ready to get along with each other for.

Y/N had been a part of the team for 3 years now and she had made all the trauma dissipate and had even managed to make the most unapproachable team mmates open up. She had made sure Stark Towers was always warm and fuzzy no matter how cold the world seemed.

The meanest of all things Y/N has done is manipulate the emotions of people like Zemo to make them confess and feel the pain of the people they caused pain to reflect and repent whenever Agent Everett called her in for.

The robotic voice of Vision snapped her out of her zone as she looked at him as he pointed at the elevator. As Y/N turned to look she felt an overwhelming level of tension.

Oh. It’s one of those days.....

The door opened to a familiar multitude of spandex and metal clad people filling into the living room all making an aggressive beeline at the empathic. 

“I CALL DIBS ON Y/N !”,yelled some simultaneously as they glared at each other and argued. Some went straight to the bar pouring themselves a drink and another very specific non alcoholic one along with it. Some stood frozen, colour drained off their face, to be more specific, Wanda,Peter,Bucky and Bruce. Peter walking straight into Y/N’s arms as she held them open as soon as she saw them. Wanda and Bruce following as Vision looms and floats behind them.

“That bad huh ?”, Y/N asked as she tried managing to drag the four towards the couch and plopped down with them. Bruce parted away from her and Wanda followed suit a pleasant smile slapping onto their face.

“18 casualties ”, she heard the blonde star spangled man as he wrapped an arm around her waist moving to hug her by the side as Natasha’s arms wraps around Y/N neck from behind the couch, her head plopped on top of Y/N’s for a few before she whispered a thank you and left to go find Bruce. “And 5 completely decapitated buildings you always forget the buildings Steve ! Now move I need a hug from our gal !”, Sam complained as he agressively made motions for Steve to move away from Y/N as he nearly tackles her. “Careful Sammy, it seems like Peter’s fallen asleep”, the empath notifies as she carefully rests the Spiderboy’s head on the couch from herself as Tony lays a blanket on his body. 

“Kid was really hard on himself today, he froze mid battle and was thrown right onto a car, the injury was not that bad but it sure was something. He kept asking if he could call you the whole way back”, Tony said as Y/N stroked Peter’s hair as she got up. “Made you a drink as I poured myself one”, he said offering the glass to her which she took and set back down on the table and then proceeded to take Tony’s glass away from him before he could even sip on it. “This is your third glass and I can sense your annoyance, come here ”, Y/N scolded him as he opened his arms for a hug. “My suit broke down halfway through the fight”,complained Tony into Y/N’s hug as she patted his back, concentrating on pushing the positivity strain in the man.

“I need to be back at the sanctum.... Y/N ?”, came a voice making Tony groan why is it that every time I hug her that you need a hug? The sanctum can wait ! Isn’t Wong there?” “Tony...”, warned Y/N earning a eyeroll from the billionare as he made her promise him hugs later as he sauntered away. Y/N let out a soft laugh before taking Stephens hands into hers and a gentle smile . Stephen placed his hand on her cheek as a smile plastered on his face. “You should have come with us......they-......I and the rest of them needed you.....”,he mumbled making sure no one heard. “I’m sorry, I would have joined but I had to get some Hydra agents to spill some secrets.....”,she reasoned. “If I did not have to return I would have loved to talk to you more about how I feel.....although you will feel it before me and-” “I come visit tomorrow”, she stated simply earning a sigh of relief from the other as he stepped into the portal still hesitating to leave your hand.

There were three left Y/N knew. And she knew where they would be. She walked down the hall that leads up to all their rooms, a door opened and before she could react she was lifted into a bone crushing hug who’s only culprit could be the golden retriever god. “Thor! I was looking for you! How are you feeling!” “Pretty usual Lady Y/N ! I suppose you are visiting my brother ! I couldn’t join today’s mission, I was visiting Asgard ! Anyways I shall let you be !”, and with that he went back into his room. He wanted stay but he knew so needed her more than him he decided he could bother her later.

“They were children ! Can Midgardians stoop this low, they were experimenting on children !”, Y/N could hear as she got closer to the door at the end of the corridor. She opened the door slowly and softly, right after knocking it once.

She saw a flash of black and and overwhelming sense of anger and sorrow before she was tackled by two bodies that made sure her head didn’t hit the floor.

“Hey calm down wow what the hell Loki? Buck? What went THAT wrong?” , Y/N asked the two who had gotten quite close to each other with help of her involvement throughout the years. They realized their similarity and now shared quite of lot of things with each other that they could never tell others. Well, other than Y/N. Y/N slowly replaced their emotions as they let out an appreciative grunt. Before sitting back up. “The people taken hostage by Hydra were children. They were beaten badly, hell some were flinching even when we tried getting them out. I may have done some questionable things in my life but I would never think of doing anything to children. This why this planet needs to be ruled !”,spat Loki in frustration as Y/N rubbed his back soothingly. They were silent for a while before Bucky spoke up. “Those kids were being trained, like Nat. Easier to manipulate, easier to make into soldiers like me.” Y/N sighed, her face dropping as she tried not to hiss in pain. “You saved them though right ? I will probably be called to rehabilitate them. I promise I’ll make them feel better”, she tried to assure them. “ It is not about that darling, I just wonder how many children might be there in Midgard that are being forced into things like this out of their will.” 

Y/N never said anything after that but what happened was bothering her and was clear as water. But every time they would try asking her she would quickly change their mood to a Euphoric state and distract them. It felt as if matters were getting worst and Y/N looked sicker and sicker. The team had no choice but to ask Fury.

“ I suppose she has not informed you about her mutation.”

“ What about it ?”

“Well it is not as easy as she makes it seem. You see, every time she replaces an emotion, she feels them. The malice, the pain and everything stays inside her and will stay that way until it is not given to other people. Y/N grew up in an abusive home. Empathy was never shown to her and it got worse by the time she was 15. She first started experiencing immense pain and one day it became intolerable. The pain, without her will got transferred to everyone in that house. No normal human could handle it the way she could and they eventually died because of it. She blames herself and that is why she is not allowed to go on missions with you because we fear that might happen again.”

Everyone was  bit shocked by the story they were bombarded with. The felt guilt. All this time it was her who was comforting them and never once had they asked her about how she felt. In fact, if Y/N had not interfered with certain things they might have regretted their actions or may have committed unforgivable acts.

She was their hero. And sometimes the hero needs to be saved to.

Y/N was startled to say the least when her bedroom door burst open and several bodies jumped on her making her feel a sudden high and the pain in her head trying to leave She closed her eyes and tried as hard as possible t not let go of it.

“Y/N I swear to god let it all out ! Were a lot of people we can handle it ! Be a little less harsh on yourself !”, nagged Wanda leaving the empath speechless over the fact that they found out her secret. After more perstering she let go. “Jesus Christ !/Oh my god!/How do you live with this!”, yelled different people simultaneously as they felt what Y/N has been holding to herself for all these years. “Lady Y/N I take back what I said about being the strongest it seems like you are the strongest one to be able to do this and take care of all of us with a smile”, Thor declared.

“You know we love you right miss Y/N ?”,Peter questioned.

Y/N couldn’t say anything if she did she would cry. Her heart swelled even more and for the first time in her life she felt like she truly belonged. The soft tune of Euphoria by Jungkook played in the background the lyrics etching the end of this story.

“Take my hand now, you are the cause of my Euphoria”

--The End--

....... I have never written such an intricate fic on this app. I do not know if it is good or not anymore because I am in too much feels. I really really hope you like this *crosses fingers in anticipation*.This was really fun to write! I did delete the draft like 7 times though because I wasn’t confident about it😅.. I really hope you like this🥺🥺.....Please like and reblog my posts if you like them! Feedback is highly appreciated and please do not plagarize my work. I really work my ass of on them! Thank you so much for supporting me darlings !❤🥰

~Love, Hri

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Hi! What are yours views on the recently released billboard article about bts? I assumed that people agreed on the fact that its was extremely disappointing and disrespectful towards bts but there are many ‘army’ blogs who are still defending that article

From anon: What do you think of the new Billboard article about the boys? 😓

I’ll be honest, I had a bit of a debate with myself if I want to post something about the article or not, if I want to draw more attention to it (like there’s literally anyone left who hasn’t heard about or read it), and if I want to get mad all over again. Since you’re reading this, we all know what conclusion I arrived at.

Usually I try to at least somewhat organize my answers to not jump around or angrily rant, but wow, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get that done this time so please bear with me this once. I’d also usually add direct copy+paste quotes and/or screenshots but I truly don’t want to give this article any clicks, or give that “journalist” and his writing even more direct attention, so this answer will have to do without them, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ve all read the article, or at least seen parts of it, so you’ll know what I’m talking about in each instance.

You know, in all of this, besides the obvious awful aspects of it all, I also feel bad for the staff (not the Billboard journalist and the editors) involved in this, like for example the photographer who went in and took gorgeous pictures of the members, did his best working with them, only for said pictures to be forever attached to this dumpster fire. And the members who spent so much time during that photoshoot to get only the best results and yet, what does it even matter in the end. As well as the fact that they took time out of their busy schedules to meet the journalist, to answer whatever questions he had, to just end up having to read all...THAT.

As some pointed out, it is though very telling that none of the HYBE/BHM/BTS twt accounts have retweeted the Billboard twts with links to the article. That already basically tells you everything you need to know, as in, that the article isn’t worth our time and our braincells needed to read it.

After so many years I think most of us have come to expect basically nothing from interviews with literally any US publication, but especially magazines like The Hollywood Reporter (remember that mess?) and Billboard, and, well, the bar was in hell and yet they still managed to deliver a result that was, I think, one of or the worst article I’ve ever read on BTS. Especially since large parts of the article weren’t even about them? For a cover story about BTS, what’s up with the lack of interview, the minimal amount of quotes from their answers, the summarization of their supposed words, and the large focus on a “controversy” basically cooked up by haters on stan twt? And the “journalist”, who has shown in older twts that he has a negative bias toward BTS and ARMY, even taking direct quotes from stan twt accounts for western artists to illustrate his point, instead of, I don’t know, legit sources? Showing numbers or anything that would show credibility and a solid foundation for said argument? But instead it’s gossip and malicious accusation based on “I don’t like that this band is successful instead of my fave so I will accuse them of cheating while I ignore all the cheating my own fave partakes in”.

More below the cut:

Of course we were, once again, served the narrative that ARMY are just a bunch of manipulated teens which, let’s like talk about that for a second because there are a lot of layers to this and the further you look, the worse it looks for people like this journalist and everyone else like him openly shading ARMY. 

Let’s suppose ARMY really somehow were millions of girls ages 12 to 18 (who somehow have access to enough money to raise funds for music and also match BTS’ $1 million donation and spend money on so many different charity projects every year) and these journalists, most of them men usually above the age of 30, go around and basically belittle and “hate” on them. Do we see the problem here? The fact that in this case grown adults openly, in publications they are paid to write for, bully teenagers and kids simply because they don’t agree with the musician said teens and kids have decided to be a fan of and support. And because they are girls instead of soccer loving boys, as counter example.

A truly weird hill to be willing to d*e on just to make some kind of (negative) point if you ask me. 

Then of course there’s the whole thing that Mr. Journalist decided to go in with a narrative in mind and seriously sit down opposite Namjoon and basically ask him “hey, listen, what do you think about your crazy TEENAGE fans buying your music (truly the audacity, how dare they) and that they are cheating and manipulating the system? Like that’s not right, right?”. Bless Namjoon and his genius brain for being able to keep his cool and shut down that man with his amazing answer shifting the blame right back onto Billboard and how, if they don’t like people playing by the rules that they themselves have created, maybe they should look at their own system and reevaluate it instead of turning against and point a finger at BTS who, as Namjoon said himself, are simply an easy target because they are foreigners, because they sing in a language that isn’t English, and because they are Asian. And really, is there anything the US music industry hates more than foreigners, POC at that, being successful, or even more successful, than their industry supported artists? Don’t think so.

Also can we talk about how strange the argument of “bulk/mass buying” is when ARMY never goes over the limits Billboard themselves have set up, being four copies of a given song. If they truly were against people “bulk/mass buying” you’d think they would lower the number to one copy per person and that’s it, right, the way iTunes does it. And yet, they did not. Because “bulk/mass buying” is okay, just not when it’s ARMY and Bangtan.

Billboard: Buying multiple copies of the same song is bad and makes no sense. You’re cheating.

Also Billboard: Here, buy EIGHT copies of the same magazine, with the exact same contents but different covers, for $170+ in this neat little bundle.

Make it make sense, will you? Or at least be less obvious with what you’re doing.

It’s a problem when it’s done in a way that doesn’t benefit them, and the greater US music industry and their shady system, but when it does benefit them, it’s totally chill, easy, no problem? It’s so obvious, dumb, and kind of makes me want to laugh but also scream and/or knock my head against my table because it’s just so bizarre yet it’s treated like this all makes sense and is completely normal. And the sad thing is, it is normal. We, or BTS as umbrella term, are a problem because we get things done, we get achievements and #1s and numbers without giving in to payola, paid playlisting, bundles when they were still a thing, and without everything else the US labels do to push their artists into basically false fame. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen and nonbinary friends, is where the issue lies.

While talking about all of this among ourselves (as in ARMY at large) across sns, as well as taking into account some pondering by journalists questioning the intentions of the article, a thought arose and, now that I think about it, it sounds just too obvious and yet here we are. Voting season for the Grammys is coming up sometime soon-ish, and Billboard is one of the major publications that the voting members look at and read when considering who to give their vote to. Now imagine you’re a voting member who until this point had a positive, or at least neutral, opinion on BTS but on Monday you sit down and read this article? Would you still want to vote for an artist being accused of “chart manipulation” and supposedly claiming they didn’t actually want to do music in English but were forced into it despite originally saying something else?

No, right?

And that’s the point. 

This is nothing but a glorified smear campaign against Bangtan across lots, and I mean lots, of publications who picked up the narrative that this article presented and ran with it. The US music industry sees their success and feels threatened because they are showing that when you have true, organic success and a loyal fan following you don’t need any of the paid for tricks to achieve things, you don’t need payola, don’t need paid for playlisting on streaming websites, and don’t need US industry backing. You can do it all on your own, therefore these exploitative systems and institutions don’t make any money off of you which is obviously unacceptable. Even more so when you could actually win, or at least again be nominated, for what is regarded as the supposedly most prestigious music award, aka the Grammys. So, since they know they can’t get rid of ARMY, can’t discourage us from supporting BTS, they go for their image and reputation instead. And that’s what this article tried to achieve. Show that, wow, in the end all the “dark side of K-Pop” stories were true all along because even poor, poor BTS are puppets of their evil agency after all, are forced into things, and are used to manipulate their gullible teenage fans into throwing money at them and manipulating the charts.

How come we’re the only ones who see just how f*cked up all of this is? And the few journalists who are on our side?

Lastly, can we talk about just how weird the use of and the quotes themselves from the members were? Most felt not only out of place, out of context, but also so weirdly out of character some ARMY have started to question how much of their “quoted words” are actually theirs and how much might be, essentially, fabricated/twisted to fit the desired narrative the journalist had from the get go. I know a certain crowd, you know which one I mean, jumped onto what was said about the english songs but also especially the final quote from Seokjin at the end of the article that essentially boiled down to “we were so annoyed and overworked we said screw everything, especially our agency, and now we only trust each other” or something to that effect. Am I the only one who thinks that quote sounded nothing like something Seokjin would say? Yes, he’s said cheeky things in the past, he’s also said bold things, like his entire speech against sajaegi back in 2019, but each time he was polite and stuck to his manners while doing so, yet this? I don’t know, something about it just feels very off. Or JKs quote about how he sacrificed more than just his youth to be who he is now. While we know that is true, after all he became a trainee at a very young age and spent the better part of his teenage years as idol on stage, but has he ever spoken about that negatively? In such a manner?

Someone suggested that interviewers should publish transcripts of the original Korean answers and questions that BTS were asked in order to offer some transparency and also for us to know that what they are quoted saying are actually things they did say. I know that’s very unlikely to ever happen, just wishful thinking on my/our part, especially when a hit piece article is attached to it, but in moments like this, it really would be very helpful. For us, but also to add credibility to such articles and the context in which said quotes are used.

Now, for the ‘ARMYs’ who defended this article, to be honest, I’d very much question how much of an ARMY someone is when they can go and read this article and agree with it. How? I get that for some the things in this article played right into their manti agenda, but mantis aren’t ARMY. And the crowd who decided to, instead of blaming the journalist for the narrative he tried to push with all its negative implications, blamed HYBE/BHM instead? Are you serious? That isn’t how journalism works, or at least it shouldn’t be. HYBE/BHM can’t just go in and say “we don’t like this article, change it”, that’s not how freedom of press works, and also, do you realize how weird it is that you are blaming an Asian agency for a hit piece published by a western publication?

What was interesting though was that, as example, the online merch store Cokodive made a statement on their IG page in which they said the following:

So even they, who could’ve directly benefited from selling the magazine, decided that it wouldn’t be right because that article is a travesty. It’s a small thing in the grand scheme of things, yet it shows that it isn’t just ARMY who are being “sensitive little snowflakes who can’t take criticism” but also others outside the fandom who also see the disrespect within the article and its blatant negativity and lack objectivity.

Personally I saved the pictures but I refuse to give views directly to Billboard when it comes to the “Things you didn’t know about BTS” video as well as the behind the scenes clips of the members regardless of how beautiful they are. And I refuse to give their website and this article any more clicks than I already gave them while reading the article in the first place.

You can be critical of an artists success, you can wonder how they, specifically, managed to become as successful as they did, but what you can’t do is completely ignore shady practices of other artists while attacking those who don’t partake in any of them simply because they manage to fill stadiums and get #1s without those practices. At the end of the day, just like Forbes once said that BTS don’t need the Grammys but the Grammys need BTS, in the same way BTS don’t need Billboard and their shady articles and twts, but Billboard needs BTS for clicks and views and therefore revenue. 

As longtime ARMY it also saddens me having watched Bangtan become more and more disillusioned with the US market, as well as ARMY going through the same thing. Then again, like Namjoon said in the article, it isn’t their goal to become mainstream in the US, all they want is to have a big tour and that’s it. Nothing more.

As twt says: this article should’ve just stayed in the drafts.