#literally thank you for these asks i fucking LOVE getting asks and talking about kh stuff or any stuff

[rhythmmortis]

i am so curious. whos your favorite of organization 13 (the original but the "real" is fine too if u have any particular favorites) . i feel like roxas and xion are obvious answers because if you hate either of them you're just sucks. but other than them

xion is 100% my favourite org member hands down, both her role in the original and the 'real', but if not her then larxene literally showed up for one game, served cunt, was a bitch, and died. and then came back. and i love her so fucking much for it. when she dies in 3 she literally just admits that she didnt give a shit about xehanort shes just there for the drama and i love her so much for it, she also has cool ass knives which i gotta respect her for

she's also just like. an ACTUAL antagonistic original kh female character!! kairi, aqua, xion, namine, olette, and the other original kh girls are all protagonists or at least on the side of light which is cool but it leads to a lot of similarities in characterisation and not much variance. but larxene. she fucking kicked a child then threatened another with her knives. UNAPOLOGETICALLY. then comes back in kh3 in the frozen world and actually makes a good point about having to autonomy of choice. but in general she sucks and i love her for it!! i was recently thinking about either a com roleswap between her and marluxia/a personality swap with them (theyre already relatively similar being co-conspirators and all but slightly stoic and mysterious/ominous larxene and marluxia being more of a taunting bitch about someone sora forgot about and constantly withholding that information just out of reach (which would be a good parallel to his own experience with strelitzia and his whole past) is a dynamic i would love)

her voice acting is also very enjoyable AND my favourite spell is thunder so i gotta give her that. one thing i will say is that i was kinda sad that her remix of the 13th struggle in the kh3 data bosses is the most similar to the original and she doesnt get anything too unique. especially given the fact that saix has ELECTRIC guitars and not her, i really think it wouldve gone hard. my one wish for her in the future (since it looks like ux characters will be relevant) is that they dont just completely erase her personality and let her keep some of that edge, i dont want her to be washed down to another demure, generic supporting female character.

i can also say that my very very least favourite org member is xaldin because i have a strong personal grudge against david dayan fisher (xaldin's eng va) that i cannot say without revealing some very personal information. when i say personal grudge i dont mean theres like an obscure fact about him that i wont ever actually experience or be affected by that i dont like, i mean this is a very real/personal thing that i do not like him for. in person (its not that serious but i love being a hater. and i will never forgive him)

[citrusotakutea]

This is a different anon, but i want to continue on the points you've said about Alucard, the new fandoms interpretation of him, and hellsing and correcting some stuff. First of all thank you for actually giving good points on why youre not fond of the recent fans of the fandom, and i agree with most of the points you make. New Alucard fans are so weird because they will objectify him and miss his entire character completely and or water it down,,and for the "Vladdy big bara tiddies mm" people, whats up with that mandela effect? He was shown shirtless and he was hairless in both anime and manga, you guys should try actually watching the anime next time. Not sure where to start on the Alucard x integra part because of how jarringly popular it is, but "almost just as bad as aluseras" isn't accurate to me because atleast Aluseras is legal, Alucard and integra aren't (they met when she was 12, seras was 19). I personally dislike both, but the hate is more personal towards Alucard x integra because the only people who ship it are the people who heavily mischaractarize the both of them, and Alucard mischaractarization kills me, i can't care less about integra (sorry op) but even i out of all people know it's bad for her. The entire organization exists because they hate each other, yes, Alucard may not directly hate integra, but her grandfather is abraham for fucks sake. Why in the world would integra betray both her grandfather and father just to date the "monster" that they spent all their lives trying to defeat. The literal Dracula x any Hellsing member will never work, Alucard only works for the organization out of respect for abraham after he (a human) managed to defeat him, and his job is to serve the family and any master who comes after, which right now is integra. There is no romantic chemistry at all, it's his job. (Sorry for the ramble op, theres just too many reasons why this ship sucks ass) i think the abridged ruined a generation by forcing it on everyone. For your second point, Alucard and seras weren't canonically said to have a father/daughter relationship by the author, but some writers who worked on Ultimate, and even so they said they were unsure (correct me if im wrong pls!), but seras has pip anyways so it obviously won't be anything more. I personally only like Alumina because its the most canon with Alucard, althought it's left very vague so we don't fully know, kouta hirano has stated that Alucards story is more accurate on Draculas part rather than Vlads, which means he most probably loves mina. "He was in his girl form the entire time in WW2" it wasn't actually the entire time, in a short backstory shot, there was Alucard (with his normal red coat shown, no hat or glasses tho) shown next to young walter (same as the dawns), he turned into a girl to prove a point to walter after they arrived in the melliunium base (walter asking "wheres your form" to Alucard, indicating that it may be a first time thing") but the dawn is unfinished so we wont know if he changes between forms, but he was still shown in his male form in 1944. For people who read the last post, the bonus book op is reffering about is the official hellsing guide book (im guessing since you mentioned it has no translation, i recently got a hold of it and im currently working on a translation myself) And yes KH was a hentai artist, the original Hellsing oneshot (Legends of the vampire hunter) was actually a hentai too, easier to find translated than most of his older work. And for that last part, you're real for that i support you op (again sorry for all the rambling and thank you so much if you read!!)

I won't stand for the Sir Integra slander here but thank you for correcting me on the Hellsing lore anon!

And yes, I was talking about the guide book. Obviously anon, but getting a translation of that would be amazing, there's so much content we're missing out on from that ;-;

[silver-wield]

I wanna laugh at the cleriths on twitter who ask for tifa to tell the truth so cloud wouldn't get to a mental breakdown THEN they will accept her??? How is it so difficult for them to get that its an important part for him to get to that vegetable stage for the narrative???? If nojima really wanted to, he wouldn't even put him in that state if he so pitied cloud.

My brain cells, I just wanna hug Tifa, these people don't get empathy and EQ....also IQ considering she can't say it all because she didn't even know he was there!!!!! What good would that do??? Plus if they think it's dead future aerith in the resolution? Shouldn't they be more angry at her since she said little to no information to actually help him and said just vague shit??? She could have helped him more than tifa at that point because she knows more right but didn't??? Oh good lord and they think they know the devs better??? Yet they stilll consider tifa a bully even after ToTP???? Sorry for the rant, pretty new to the fandom (after 1 year catching up at most) but were they always this stupid and crazy???? Rejoicing on KH, a single forced date, relying mostly only on devs interviews instead of game content, optional dress, etc???? There's so much out of content it's like asking for bread crumbs when he couldn't even visit her church even as a friend when it's so close to the HW area, both vers low and high he chose tifa and cleriths here thinking its true love??? jesus christ. In low, he stayed despite probably feeling he doesn't deserve the happiness because he failed to prioritize her (like in AC, so he was cold and self-absorbed), in high, he slept with her period. I just want to see they're mental breakdown once she dies and tifa and cloud get a kissing scene on rendered cgi, one they couldn't edit (hopefully).

Btw saw an idiot who say " that people are more concerned with who cloud kisses instead of the new graphics etc" law and behold its a fucking clerith. Why are they acting all high and mighty??? When they're the first one to be so abnormaly obsessed with the "kiss part" of their statement if they get a content even so desperately little??? Did they forget they're shitty take on hollow???? Lol now they're saying we shouldn't be so sure with the trailer but they're so sure about hollow??? Wtf? Do they think that's making them look smart??? Why do they mostly all act this way????

Also, before they think they get the devs, they better ask if they actually get the characters and especially the one they think they're a fan of. I'm neutral on aerith but it's sad that there are a lot of people who don't really get the real workings of her heart. It's even more sad that due to their shipping glasses they fail to get one of the most important theme/moment in the game, her death!!!! Smfh they really think she's gonna live?? Sephiroth, devs nor cloti aren't their biggest enemy on that but new players who don't care to play OG or part 1!!! FF7 has a brand and they're gonna keep it.

Thank you for listening to my rant, hope you have a good day. Im really sorry about this burst of rant but I just hate it since it ruins what the game wants to really say. It actually has a good message if only they're capable of actually seeing that. I personally don't ship cloti , im neutral but I consider them because you don't question how Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are in love right?? It's right there in the fcking story on it's own unless your eyes were closed the whole time.

So I shared this same clip on twitter the other day. You can literally hear Tifa say "as far as I know" meaning she isn't sure.

Nojima is slapping lying Tifa haters with every bit of this game and companion works and they're still desperately trying to claim they're in the right.

It's funny af watching them meltdown rn over Sephiroth saying Tifa's name in the trailer. They've claimed he don't know her. They're dumb. They've claimed the devs are doing a fake out by having Sephiroth talk about Tifa but "they really mean Aerith". They're deluded af and they know time's up and the hoad is waiting to humiliate them 🤣

[serenedash]

Your Sona has a powerful energy. Also that shirt is such a vibe, and mood, and a warning I will choose to ignore 👀 (go, ramble about KHuX away)

thank you I love my sona they are very neat :)

Anyway you didn’t say what to ramble about so I’m just going to choose the thing that makes me want to rip my hair out the most: MoM (I tried not to talk about the foretellers too much I didn’t want this to get away from me that much-)

In this house we hate mom but like don’t get it twisted I think he’s an incredibly well written character and he’s always enjoyable to watch even if I’m screaming at my screen LOL honestly with the amount I hate this man it really goes to show how good of a character he is that he makes me this angry like every time he speaks I scream like he’s so greasy shut up-

“but why tho” thanks for asking, I think at this point everyone knows I’m a massive foreteller stan and very specifically a Luxu stan and honestly like almost everything about the foretellers is tragic and upsetting and like I just want them to be HAPPY but they CAN’T because of MOM like I remember when back cover came out and everyone was piecing together wtf actually happened and the realization that mom was using them and set up the whole thing. like. holy shit. and in the finale when he FINALLY said it out right like I felt like I was going to smash my phone like I felt so correct but I hated it adgsfdhgf (like we been knew but also with KH fans it seems they won’t believe anything unless it’s stated out right)

and ABOUT the finale, I love the way the dialogue was written so much because like Luxu’s reaction to mom’s true plan. I felt that. It’s like, “I can’t believe the worst person I know got even worse” because it’s like not ONLY did mom set up the war and all that but he ALSO is using the foretellers to house Darkness and just like AAAAAAA???? It fucking destroys me how like. Mom absolutely raised them but in such a short span of time torn them all apart and made them fight like to the point Gula wouldn’t even consider anyone a “comrade” at BEST which is like. such a low blow.

Holds the scene where they all see chirithy and laugh and have fun together. Points at the following keyblade war. I hate it here!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it here

Back to the finale, I think it’s one of the most infuriating moments I have watching mom because of the way he fucking tries to make it seem like “““““it’s not that bad”““““ because “don’t worry luxu I’m going to save everyone don’t worry it’ll be fine :)” LIKE DUDE????? the WAY he’s like “I’m not planning on letting anyone die” YOU SET UP AN ENTIRE WAR THAT RIPPED THE UNIVERSE APART AND KILLED SO MANY PEOPLE AND THEN 99% OF THE SURVIVORS DIED BEING TRAPPED INSIDE A DATA WORLD YOU CREATED WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU like if you wanted to say “I’m going to make sure none of my apprentices die” you could’ve just said that but you DIDN’T

and it’s like. okay. I get it. the greater good it’s all for the greater good and at this point he is literally out of options because it’s very clear he’s tried literally everything he can think of to defeat Darkness so this is what it’s come to but it’s like I hate the super slimy way he’s going about it yknow like khux itself is like such a tragic game (arguably not as tragic as 358/2 days but like that’s a separate discussion and you could argue for khux being more tragic but whatever anyway,) it just fucks me up!!!!! this game fucks me up so badly with the way all the characters get sucked into this bigger plan they had no idea existed and the way some characters try to fight against it without even really know WHAT they’re fighting exactly just like. tears me up so badly. but again that’s a separate conversation and if anyone wants to hear me talk about the concept of destiny in khux then like please ask me

BACK TO MOM I hate him so much and I hate how enjoyable he is bc like I remember seeing re:mind for the first time I forgot how much I hated him bc I was laughing so much when he was talking to YMX and then when he was like “I might be planning for the world’s destruction” or w/e I started screaming because I remembered how much I hate him adfsdghf

IN CONCLUSION:

[felikatze]

wroah... so the big reveal was just that N is a shit boyfriend huh

(post ch5 scream dump)

[this post is about N Xenoblade. i am not saying that N pokemon is a shit boyfriend. i am sure he is quite sweet.]

my god FINALLYYYYY N and M got explained and i am VERY happy with what the truth ended up being

the game doesnt tell you the logistics of it bcuz THE LOGISTICS DONT MATTER BABEY! THIS IS SYMBOLISM TOWN

noah and mio as the personification of N and M's regrets and hopes.... emotional

i looove that afterlife sequence where mio is doing a grim reaper impression and noah sees all of N's life and mio asks him. "would you choose again?" bcuz that's what noah is. as much as N convinced himself (had to convince himself) that he made the right choice some part of him still wanted to chose again so of course noah would pick differently.

just like. a lot of great moments in this stretch of the game! i fuckin love how N just got what's coming. It was fun how comically evil and dead inside he was during the whole castle agnus prison sequence, only for it to be revealed that M spent that entire time just hoping N would give up the ghost and spend time with her. But he didnt. He was so obsessed with forever that he let now slide from his grasp. She didnt want eternity. She just wanted a little longer. God.

The M/Mio switcheroo made me HOWL jesus christ i was giddy. how meyneth of M. hmmmm. same letter. And so N continues the zanza tradition of eternity obsessed guys who are just assholes in very mundane ways

like i looove how N broke down also. that's karma bitch. but then again the game makes him a tragic figure by showing his backstory AND THEN calls him a coward because Noah Is N and if noah could chose differently so could N. that's tha point of parallels yea. also that flashback of N tearing the city down and M just yelling at him that he's torn down everything they've built

and CHRIST the reveal that N and M were part of the first ouroboros. i did cry a bit at the scene where N is saying goodbye to his son and then he destroys the city and its like. yeah he just killed his grandkids or whatever. chriiiist.

i'm a bit miffed M didnt have more screentime before all this to establish more that she well and truly hates what N's doing even if she still loves him. Like it WORKS but i wish she had more time before chapter 5 the same way N got built up as an antagonist

N Xenoblade Yandere Moments. that's what devotion does to a mfer. like i do do love how the same innocent feelings of love that Noah has toward Mio can get twisted into. that. like at some point for N it wasnt abt being close to M as a person anymore. it was just abt keeping her around as long as possible. From love to possession yeah? I mean. literally locking up M in jail bcuz of a switcheroo isnt a subtle metaphor. she just wnatrd to be with him a bit more but he was too blind to see it shbfjfbgjgn. wails.

tgis ended up mainly abt N and M cuz they are the first guys to noah and mio's second guys and i'm a slut for these kh-esque identity shenanigans. N and Noah are on the opposite end of the Same Guy spectrum as M and Mio which is so fun. N and Noah having their fuckin Ventus v Vanitas type beat meanwhile M and Mio pulled a Crimson King Adol fusion in the background. if you understood both of these you have good taste in video games. thanks.

SOOOO MUCH i could talk abt. noah punching his knuckles bloody. M essentially committing suicide. SHANIA. shania actually committing suicide. sena's whole self worth arc running behind all this. her and lanz almost blowing tf up. ghondor. ghondor is so fucking funny. YOU CANT JUST CUT THE TENSION BY LITERALLY SAYING "I'M BACK BITCHES" OR SO HELP ME GOD

monica must've been a mom at 15 for ghondor to be 18. wild.

i think this is most of the thoughts that would otherwise keep me up at night. good game

[saintobio]

wait omgg i submitted by mistake without finishing what i said😭😭 im so sorry saint

HALLELUJAH!! GOD IS ALWAYS GOOD!! i literally had to stand up and jump from excitement when i read this. thank you God for not allowing this bitch to give birth to a child bc imagine having sera as a mother?? i would kill myself as soon as i had knowledge of what was going on.

PLEASE TOJI PINCH MY NIPPLES JUST LIKE THAT AND SPREAD THAT WARMTH ALL OVER MY BODY😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩 im so sorry yall im so touch deprived when it comes to this man. i know he was speaking about his dead wife who he still loves but it’s okay he’ll come to love me as well🥰

i know his fucking hypocrite ass isnt talking. i just have to mention again how i love it when a man gets a little jealous and possessive but when you are a cheater it makes me wanna hate you. like the fucking audacity to think you can even think about getting jealous. THE AUDACITY BRO.

how i wish i could do this to sera. if you are gonna be a fucking whore, a hateful person and poor at that, at least respect your mom and your family you stupid raggedy bitch.

sera right now:

like no shit you stupid clown ass whore💀💀 okay that she’s poor, desperate and shit but she can’t even use common sense?? like i truly have no words. i hate stupid people and i think this is why. stupidity always leaves me speechless and with a bad taste in my mouth bc how can someone be so stupid?? sera should truly khs at this point and please leave a will for her family. or she diana shoes so that they can sell it and live from that until her siblings get some jobs and shit. i truly feel so bad for her family being stuck with someone like that.

i hit the 10 image limit again but when i tell you i kept re reading the last part when y/n asked for a divorce and then that moment with sera when it was revealed that was a dress that she rejected and was meant for her😩😩😩 queen shit omg. also sera and the stepmom remind me so much of trashta on her wedding💀💀 looking like clowns bc they wanna show off so much. but honestly speaking im very scared about what’s gonna happen with satoru.. his dad could truly end up killing him now and abuse is never excused. just like when sera was abusing satoru as well. this man has got such bad luck. always making the wrong choices and when he does do something right its too late🤦🏽‍♀️. i do have a question tho, does the stepmom and naoya know about the pregnancy scare??

SJSNDNS the gifs 😭 ty for sending this through. it was entertaining to read !!

[autisticlalna]

Snarky Honk, good for him! Important to have suitable recipients for your daily dose of sass and rudeness.

And same!!! It's ooonly in our heads, I forgot just how many Tales were out by then! Karl going through Masquerade, Honk handing him the book in the Inbetween, ooooo still gives me goosebumps!

But yeah, I feel like I remember him tweeting about a Tales comic at some point? He's making a lot of content and go at your own pace of course but Mr Jacobs please provide Tales. Literally rewatched Masquerade highlights after the lore today!! Quackity's stuff can definitely be intense, there aren't a whole lot of breaks for humor and stuff. But the streams are broken into chapters, which make them a little easier to spread out over a while! Definitely made it easier to rewatch only the fiance-specific bit of it :,D

And I know, Karl's narratives just lend themselves to shadow stuff so well?? Especially the way you characterize Honk? Which makes me think (a) you and Karl probably have similar narrative instincts, which is cool, and/or (b) Karl's a fan of whatever started the original spau, which I know was Hermitcraft, but I feel like there was Kingdom Hearts influence? Which is so Karl? Either way, the way that Honk and Karl's stories parallel/mirror each other? Karl just stumbled into this interdimensional force, and as a result, both he and Honk become middlemen straddling the line between human and shadow without really belonging to either, with a whole lot of sentient spooky castles tossed into the mix!! Not to mention that Honk slowly can rely on Karl as a source of solidarity less and less as he forgets more of what's going on! It's all aaaaaaaaaaa and you're so cool and it's fun to talk about with you, dspau and Tales are the main connections I keep to DSMP as I fall further and further into podcasts fhfsghf

yeah i think masquerade was the latest tales ep when i made undercover agents?? its wild to think about how much has happened since then, but also it's only been 3 episodes since then but So Much Has Happened holy crap. aaaa im still really proud of UA, it came out p much exactly how i wanted and that's such an awesome feeling

oh that's good to know!! the chapters thing i mean. honestly i Am excited to get to watch q's lore bc i saw the v first las nevadas stream w/ glatt and the cinematography!! holy fuck!!! between tales and las nevadas, dsmp is really going in hard on making stuff Cinematic

spau having kingdom hearts-y elements was unintended at the start i think BUT i extremely love kingdom hearts and am currently looking at my rolled-up organization xiii poster haunting me from across the room so . GUILTY AS CHARGED. also finding out that karl a) likes kh and b) intentionally based the inbetween off of castle oblivion made my day i love kh so much aaaaaaaaaaa

YEAH YOU GET IT!! YEAH!!!!! they're stuck on the boundary and it's only making things more and more complicated as things fall apart but they're just trying to keep their heads above water

HAHA SAME i kinda went full on into the blaseball fandom back in march and didn't..... really leave............... and kinda stopped keeping up with dsmp, but i love tales and dspau so much and im always super happy to talk about it!! also you're very cool and i get excited every time i get an ask from you :D thank you for encouraging me and talking to me about stuff, it means a lot !!

[iaintyourbro]

What’s your take on Cloud’s depression during AC? People on twitter are suddenly talking about this, again. This matter was brought up by those antis saying that we Clotis should accept the fact that Tifa wasn’t the one who “healed” Cloud and that she was also being mean and not considerate whatsoever. The funny thing is that, they also accused us of denying his depression and not understanding it. TF. Let’s be real, Tifa played a major part, in fact she gave him morale thx to her “scolding” lol

Hey anon.. 

Yeah, Twitter has me depressed today. I think it started last night. I was enjoying it for a bit, but the last week or two have been so bad over there with bullshit that I’m about to just take a break from the entire fandom. 

My Take on AC Cloud:

I watched AC when it first came out, and I barely remember it. I remember I didn’t like what they did. Why was Cloud so depressed and brooding? Oh Aerith is in this? Interesting. I felt like it was disjointed and removed a lot of the great progress Cloud made in OG. They kept this depressed, brooding guy in KH as well... It just didn’t seem right to me. I was young, too. 

At this point we also didn’t have On the Way to a Smile, Crisis Core, or anything else, really.. None of the Ultimanias were in English at this point. I also was not interested enough in going online. It was a weird time when I was playing other things and was meh on FF7 for a while. I was always a FF8 fangirl, so was jealous of FF7 at times hahaha. It got so much more attention and love. 

It took me a long time to watch it again. I remember my husband watching it before Remake came out and I felt mad or sad. It was like an emotion from memory, and I didn’t know why. I can’t describe it. I saw it on the TV and was like why is this on here... 

After playing Remake, I bit the bullet and ordered AC Complete, which had things tweaked and added. I also am now in my 30′s and have a lot more life experience.

Antis like to say Cloud is depressed solely because Aerith is dead and he wants to be with her. This may be one of the reasons I didn’t like AC, because when I did happen to come across some FF7 thing online, I’d see this shit and be like whatever, that makes no sense. 

I enjoyed ACC. My heart was actually pounding and I was nervous/intrigued by what was going on even though I knew the story. I haven’t read all of CoT yet, but I’ve seen the excerpts online, so I know the general gist of things.

Based strictly on ACC:

Cloud is really upset that Denzel is sick. He’s obsessively looking up medical stuff to figure out how to cure it - this is shown with everything all over his desk. He’s closed in on himself to do this. I did the same shit when my dad had cancer. I did it for three fucking years while he was alive - from the time he got diagnosed to the day he was dying. Every damn day I looked up articles, research, and theories. It’s not healthy. It’s depressing and I closed myself off from the world half the time and didn’t realize it. Thank God my husband is a patient saint. 

Cloud does care a lot about Tifa. His reaction alone at seeing her knocked out in the church is heart wrenching. When they’re brought back to Seventh Heaven, Cloud pops right up when he sees Tifa there. He then stays with her until she wakes up. This is a pretty good amount of time. The sun is up when he’s looking over her, and when she wakes up, it’s dark outside. He could have slipped out again without her noticing if he really wanted to. I’m sure he may have contemplated it. 

She calls his ass out on how he’s acting. She knows he’s sick at this point. This was huge for Tifa who’s not confrontational. He clearly doesn’t want to completely disconnect, or he would have gotten rid of his cell phone voluntarily. He doesn’t. They actually show him checking his messages. 

Ultimately Cloud leaves because he ends up with Geostigma. That’s the last straw. He can’t face the fact that he’s going to die and what it’ll do to his family, so he leaves. Listen, I think the only reason my dad didn’t try to leave when he was diagnosed was because he had nowhere to go and by time he started verbalizing wanting to leave, he was physically unable to. Yes, I remember him being angry because he was hospitalized again and he told my mom he was going to get an apartment by himself so she didn’t know when he was getting bad. It’s very hurtful to even think it, and even worse when you know they don’t actually mean it... They do it because they don’t want to see their family hurt. 

The setup he has at the church as his “living” area is super depressing. It looks like something a homeless person sets up. He legit was going to wait to die. He had a lot of knowledge about this, so he figured there was nothing he could do. 

Marlene calls Cloud out on his bullshit too. Cloud admits to her he doesn’t think he can take care of anybody. Marlene Barrret quotes him and it’s cute. I think Cloud appreciated it and I think it made him think.

In ACC, Cloud has a short conversation with Aerith. Aerith seems almost annoyed with him like “wtf is your deal, dude” kind of attitude. Zack shows up when he’s bloody and half dead fighting Sephiroth to encourage him. There are scenes with him talking at Zack’s grave and saying he couldn’t keep his promise to him. He flat out tells Aerith he wants to be forgiven. He doesn’t say I miss you, I want to be with you, none of that happens. In fact, it’s mainly her telling him HE needs to start doing some forgiving - ultimately to himself. 

When Cloud is in limbo - between living and dying - Cloud says “Mom.” Very romantic, I know. Then Zack and Aerith have a conversation very similar to a couple that’s going to adopt a child and they tell Cloud he’s too big for them. This is the “I see the light” and the person on the other side is like “nah bro go back, not your time yet.”

He wakes up, Tifa and crew is there, he smiles at Tifa... and it’s a happy ending. He sees both Zack AND Aerith at the end, and they walk off in to the light together all cute and shit.

Adding in Things from the Novels/Interviews/Thoughts:

The devs have said Cloud was happy with his family and that scared him. The happier he got, the more scared he got. We know he cherishes everything. He especially cherishes the family he has.

Cloud’s depression spiral started from the high anxiety of having a happy life and Elmyra asking him to deliver flowers to Aerith’s grave. Now, I have my feelings about this, but when I look at it logically, I don’t think Elmyra ultimately does this out of spite. I actually don’t think Elmyra thinks Cloud and Aerith were a thing - so it wasn’t that either. I think she knew Cloud was friends with her and maybe he’d want to deliver some flowers - to give him some business. 

This flower delivery reminds Cloud of what he thinks is his failure to protect somebody else. At this point he has his memories of what happened to Nibelheim, his mother, Tifa, and Zack. The Sector 7 plate drop and Aerith are the most recent “failures”. So this brings up Aerith.

Then Denzel comes along and he’s an orphan because his parents were... yeah... killed during the Sector 7 plate collapse. Double ouch. But Cloud and Tifa are going to take care of him.

Tifa herself has a lot of guilt because of the same reasons, she just deals with it very differently. Tifa tells Cloud to bring Denzel right home. She can make amends by adopting him in to her family and caring for him. Cloud thinks Aerith brought Denzel to him (Tifa corrects him). This is a Cloud thing, it’s not romantic. Cloud doesn’t know the guilt Tifa feels. He legit thinks all of this is his fault. Tifa’s guilt stems from the fact that Shinra drops the plate because Avalanche was in Sector 7 - she was in Avalanche. She feels guilty about Aerith because she thinks its her fault Aerith followed them to Don Corneo’s mansion. The thing is, Aerith doesn’t blame EITHER of them - I just wish they’d cover a Tifa/Aerith conversation about this as well... 

Cloud and Tifa do have fights in the novels from what I understand, but it’s because he’s acting weird. He feels bad hiding the fact that he’s been going to the church a lot, and I think that does turn in to a whole LTD debate. So you can take this as Tifa is jealous that he’s going to the church all the time or she’s upset that he is hiding from her. 

In the novels, Tifa has a breakdown when they go see the church after they defeat Sephiroth. This is where you get to see how badly Aerith’s death impacted her. So my thought is... Cloud thinks bringing her to the church hurts her because of her feelings, not because she’s jealous. I think Cloud is oblivious to the jealousy thing, honestly. Don’t think it’s a thought in his mind. 

I honestly don’t know the real reason why he goes to the church to hide. I think this is another point of fight with both sides. My personal take is there was nowhere else he could go and be alone. Most of the stuff had been destroyed. It was still close by, so he could still do his work and keep an eye on things/be nearby.

There is a quote that is taken to be literal, but I think it’s just a way to say it wouldn’t have mattered who Cloud was “with.” Yes, Tifa and Cloud have issues, and I believe the quote goes “Perhaps it would have gone better with Aerith, but I think her responsibility is too great. Maybe the children will help them with their issues.” This isn’t exact, but it’s the jist of what they said. The children do help them - that’s the point of the scenes with Marlene, to slap him silly with reality. 

“Oh but he sees Aerith when the building is falling.” Yes, you know why? Because he thinks that’s going to happen to Tifa. This is a “NO I’M NOT LETTING THIS HAPPEN.” moment. On top of it, I don’t think anybody would be right again if they saw this happen. If my neighbor was impaled by a large sword in their back, I’d be messed up from it. I don’t really know my neighbors. He’s not replaying this death scene in his head cuz he misses Aerith, he’s playing it in his head because it’s traumatic and he doesn't want to see this happen to Tifa. Especially Tifa. 

It’s been put in Ultimanias time and time again that Cloud’s feelings are for Tifa. I went through my Ultimania - which only covers OG - and it doesn’t say anything about Cloud’s side of the CA argument. It does say how he feels about Tifa in the Lifestream, though. 

The “He wants to die for her, see, that’s why he’s going to the church and waiting.” No, he doesn’t want to die or else he wouldn’t be so depressed. Just thinking this is fucked up on so many levels. If he really wanted to die and be with her, he’d be happy he got an incurable illness, I’d think... Cloud leaves Tifa and them because he doesn’t want to hurt him with him dying and not being able to stop it. 

The other thing that would be... weird... Zack is in the Lifestream with Aerith. They walk off together for a reason. I don’t think she’s going to just drop Zack for Cloud since the whole reason she was initially interested in Cloud was because of the similarities to Zack. He had the same sword, the same clothes, and in OG had some of the same mannerisms. I noticed the dropped the squatting in Remake - the random squatting.

The ending of ACC implies that now that Geostigma is cured and Sephiroth is (hopefully) gone for good, Cloud can be happy. I’m not saying that his smile fixes everything. I’m sure that him and Tifa had to work on things, but you can see in DoC that things seem to be much better - he’s more upbeat and happy. He’s more dorky, like he should be. 

Sorry this is long. I have a lot of feelings about all this stuff today. I’ve been seeing the fights over on Twitter about it and.. yeah. Cloud is depressed because of the fact he’s dying, his kid is dying, and he can’t seem to do anything right in his mind.

Thanks for the ask. 

[mx-in-words]

monsta x reaction to him not being your first bias

Hi, sweet! I'd love to know how the boys would react when they discovered that your bias was initially another member.

plot: in a party, all the monsta x members with you and some friends start playing truth or dare. Minhyuk asks you to hug your first bias even if you date one of the members.

↬ Shownu

He got in shook when you hugged jooheon

jh: OH YEAHHHH with all the respect hyung.

shownu just ...

He is mad ( •̀ω•́ )

he didn't think you would have another bias

you were his and how could this even...

he gave a yellow smile and just let it go

at home, you realise he was a bit off

you: baby please, talk to me

in his mind, he was thinking about how could he stole you from jooheon

maybe joo is better than him

he would make you happier, more loved

and he was afraid that he could lose you

you hold his hands, making him seat with you in the bed

you: listen very carefully okay? I love you so much. My heart hurts because I can see how far those thoughts are going inside this pretty head of yours.

you: Let me explain, I used to not know you and joo was cute on TV and shows. That's it. When I actually saw you for the first time, I just had this feeling that nobody else in the room matter you know? This feeling was so unique and I still feel it for you. Everyday. Stop stressing yourself and overthinking. I am yours and I will never love someone like I love you.

he kissed you like it was the first and last kiss

he might cry who knows

Shownu wants to show that he feels the same for you. And he will. Everyday.

sh: You are my world, I am so sorry. I love you so so so much that I don't know how to live without your love. Thanks baby

cuties 🥺

↬ Wonho

it's so sad the way he opened his arms and you were already hugging hyungwon.

you: sorry baby, he was the model 🥺

hyungwon just kept quiet because all he wants is to survive so he can one day sleep for weeks.

the night went and wonho pretended he was okay (very bad he is not a good actor).

but at home

prepare yourself for the drama

wh: so hyungwon huh? He is better looking than me, I agree

you: keep this attitude and I will not talk like an adult about this.

Wonho knew you were right.

you: trust me okay?

he hugged you, he just needs your affection right know

you: came here.

he lay down on your chest, while you pass your fingers through his hair

you: first of all, hyungwon is a sleepy bitch. Second of all, how could you ever? You know you are my angel. Do my actions makes you question my love?

wh: never. I never felt lonely until I met you. Now, if I don't have you beside me, life is just life, it's not exciting and... I trust you. I just don't want to lose you.

you: you won't. I promise you.

you: to prove my love, I will do some ramen for my men.

wh: god I love you so much

he really does, so much more than ramen, you can count on that.

↬ Kihyun

with all my heart, kihyun part will hurt, be ready.

kihyun actions hurt me sometimes (?)

his pride is too big, which results in him saying things he shouldn't.

so when he saw you hugging shownu, that was it. All the polite kihyun is dead by jealous and pride.

kh: I knew already, she is the type of girl who likes useless muscles, what can I say?

sh: I think you should watch out your words dude.

mh: it's just a joke kihyun, relax man.

kh: watch out shownu? Or what? You will steal my girl? All yours.

that's it. You picked your things and left.

Kyun offered you a ride but you refused, you called a taxi and went to your shared house with kihyun.

You put all your things in the visiting room and gave him a silent treatment for a week.

he did everything, flowers, crying at your door, calling you all the time.

so one day, you went out with friends and when you opened the door, you saw kihyun crying on the sofa.

that broke your heart, so you decided that was time to talk.

you set down, holding his hands.

kh: I am very sorry baby I... I know I had hurt you okay? I am an asshole but please forgive me, I will never act like a child again.

you: had you talked with shownu?

kh: yes, he forgave me.

you: you have to understand one thing and I want you to pay attention, I am here WITH YOU and I want to be treated like your lover. I deserve the same respect as you do. If you are afraid to lose me or jealous, talk to me but don't attack me, okay?

kh: okay I promise.

you: also tomorrow I want a princess day with food, spa, shopping and sex I don't care.

kh: done, my princess. I love you.

and thank god this fight is over

yay 😚✌🏼

↬ Minhyuk

Already knew but pretend to be shook

listen minhyuk is your best friend partner in crime bf and private devil

so he knew kihyun was your bias before you knew him

mh: HOW COULD I BE BETRAYED LIKE THIS right in front of my salad

you: we are not a gay porn min quit it

kihyun was shook btw

minhyuk took this opportunity to make kihyun life harder because why not

mh: some people like to steal their FRIENDS girlfriend's. Watch out boys, a hamster can be bad eventually.

mh: owowowowowooowww Kihyun can you please not BREATH that close of my gf please? Just bc you were her bias doesn't mean she is single wow know your limits dude.

you: minhyuk stop jesus

mh: don't tell jesus what to do

later at your place, you could feel minhyuk very clingy

you: just for you to know, you are my world okay? I wouldn't leave for nothing and anyone. You know this right? I love you minhyuk.

minhyuk: I mean I know haha. But is good to listen... I love you so much, please don't leave me kihyun is so annoying.

you: I love you bitch

mh: I will never stop loving you

you: bitch

heart eyes mothrfuckr

yes this is the most romantic shit I have ever seen guys. 💗

↬ Hyungwon

really? Minhyuk???

he never asked you about your bias and those things

hyungwon.exe stopped working

actually he expected to be another member like shownu or wonho, even jooheon

but minhyuk? He was totally the opposite of him.

he kinda questioned why did you like him then?

maybe you were better with minhyuk? he was confused.

hyungwon is straightforward about his feelings so he waited for you when you both got at home to talk about this.

hw: so you prefer minhyuk personality?

you: baby no!!! look, minhyuk is nice ofc but... I didn't fall for him. You are the funniest, sweeter, kindest man that I had ever meet. I love to wake up with you being lazy, and the fact that you always talk to me and wait for the right moments. Please don't get these kinds of questions pop in your head okay? I love you, all of you, and only you.

hw: somehow that was everything I needed to hear, thanks baby. I love you too, all of you.

you: great let's watch my kdrama now.

hw: you mean, you watch while I take a nap cuddling with you?

you: that's exactly what I just said.

hw: perfect.

↬ Jooheon

Oh 🥵🥵🥵 this gif makes my body feel things

he was soft expecting your hug

but he saw you hugging kyun?

what

daddy did not like this attitude of yours

you know jooheon is pretty clear about how you are HIS babygirl

he won't be mad at you tbh

it was just a silly joke, so he just says to changkyun to not steal his girl and everyone thought it was fine

but deep down you knew it

oh you knew you were literally fucked

he won't let this pass

so when you got at home, you ran and locked yourself at the bathroom

jh: babygirl, are you okay?

you: please don't punish me, daddy, I swear I only love you. changkyun will never love me good like you, I will never love him like I love you please!!!!

jh: open the door and I will think about it.

When you opened the door, jooheon hugged you.

jh: is okay babygirl, I will be nice this time because you are so cute saying that you love me huh, so sweet. Let's go to bed, you seen tired, let daddy cuddle you okay?

you: thank you daddy 🥺

he actually fools you and made you scream his name all night.

Oops 🥵

but actually told you that he loves you and he knows you love him.

He trusts you.

He would give his life for you.

↬ Changkyun

Haaaa bitch this little tease won't EVER lose a chance to be cocky.

when you hugged wonho, it was his chance

ck: so wait, I am really that good in sex that makes you forget about mister muscles?

jh: jesus please don't

ck: honestly wonho you lose this godness TO ME? wow, what a dumb bitch wonho.

you: okay we get it please stop I love you bye

he stopped

but he knew

oh he knew that you were flustered

bc hell yeah he made you forget that wonho existed so ;)

and he is doing that because he knows you love him and he loves you. So why be jealous when you can SHOW OFF YOUR LOVE AND MAKE PPL LIFE'S MISERABLE?

satan collect your son. PLEASE

at home, you felt worried about him, thinking he may doubt you.

you: so... You know that you are so much better than wonho right?

ck: yeah I know

you: okay.... And hm... I love you so much.

ck: baby, I know. I am not insecure about it, relax, I know you love me and I love you and we will get married one day and have a little baby and be happy okay? That is on god's plan.

you: okay... Right. Are you sure you are okay?

he just looked at you

And kissed you so hard, that you left a low moan escape.

ck: keep doing those sounds for me and I might start the baby plan right now.

I hate him.

[vectortothehairgel]

How would you rank the KH games from favorite to least favorite?

Hi Anon! Thanks for the ask, sorry it took so long! Here are my rankings: (warning: somewhat arbitrary)  Favorites:  -Kingdom Hearts 2: There’s not much I can say about KH2 that hasn’t already been said: The combat system is lovely, the story is equal parts heartwrenching and lovely, and the soundtrack is straight fire. It also has personal significance to me: before my boyfriend and I started dating, he heard I’d never played this game and drove 40 minutes to my house with his PS4 to make me play it. He would also watch me play it over video chat for hours at a time to see my reactions to things. (I still wasn’t sure he *really* really liked me.) For our anniversary, he got me a music box that plays Dearly Beloved and it’s one of my most treasured possessions.  Rank: 10/10 -Birth By Sleep: I adore the combat system, especially the way you can craft new attacks and spells. The story is well done and answers a lot of questions in a good way. I love the characters, and my classic Disney princesses. It also has Leonard Nimoy, so idk what more this game needs! Rank: 10/10 -Kingdom Hearts 3: I like most of the combat system, but I can’t play it for more than an hour because I get dizzy watching the flowmotion. There doesn’t seem to be too much of an overarching story besides connecting all the plots of the previous 12 games, and I wish they had put more of the story from Re:Mind into the original game. Plus, I didn’t like what they did with Xehanort. He was already a great villain! He didn’t need a redemption arc!! But that’s a separate rant. Also, not enough Jesse-McCartney-talking-to-himself-as-Roxas-and-Ventus action. However, the game is redeemed because a) heartwrenching reunions of characters and b) electric guitar fight themes, babeyyyyy!  Rank: 8/10  -KH 358/2 Days: Ok hear me out, here’s the math on this one:  The story: +8 The combat system: +6 (I don’t like having to play tetris for my abilities, but oh well.)  The Leechgrave: -1000000000000 The effort that was put into giving each org. member ~12 unique weapons, including joke weapons: (plus you can play as Axel and beat up Saix with pizzas): +1000000000000 

Why is everyone so mean?: -5 Overall rank: 7/10 -Union X: The plot is kind of all over the place, but the gameplay is pretty fun. I don’t particularly like that you can work really hard in the game and still get your ass kicked by pay-to-winners, but oh well.  Overall rank: 7/10 -Kingdom Hearts 1: The OG game! ....I’m not that impressed. Sure, it set everything up and has some lovely quotes, but I don’t like all the grinding you have to do for the combat system. Also, fuck Atlantica.  Overall rank: 5/10 -KH DDD: I’ve never actually played it, but from what I’ve read/seen you have to constantly beg it to not randomly switch you from Riku to Sora and back again, which seems like straight up not a good time. I like that they put effort into Lea’s story arc, and I do like the worlds they included! Also, why did they use Sora’s hair from KH1? It makes no sense.  Overall rank: 4/10 -KH 0.2: I’ve never played it, and I’m told there’s a lot of flowmotion in it, so I probably won’t. Based on the cutscenes I’ve watched, it seems like it could have been a 5 minute video instead of a game.  Overall rank: 3/10 -KH Chain of Memories: I spent maybe 20 minutes playing this game before the first Axel fight, whereupon I gave up and took a nap. I don’t enjoy the card system. It’s probably great for some, don’t get me wrong! But it wasn’t fun for me. It’s saved by the characters- Axel and Namine in particular- but this might be one you just watch the cutscenes for.  Overall rank: 3/10  -KH  Dark Road: Why is this a thing? It doesn’t need to be a thing. It doesn’t really add to the overall KH story. We already had a reason for Xehanort to fall to the darkness! Besides, it’s incredibly grindy. Even the new crafting system is grindy. Why do we have to use BP to get everything? Literally the only redeeming quality of it is the “tardy fleetfoot” line.  Overall rank: 0/10  -KH Recoded: I’ve never played it, but I’ve watched the cutscenes, and have determined that you could get all you needed out of the game from the 3-minute Just a Pancake video.  Overall rank: 0/10  As I said, these are pretty arbitrary. I love the series overall- the artwork, the music, the characters- and I’m happy to see some discourse about the merits of the various games. Again, thanks for the ask!! 

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #319: A Simple Apology (Kingdom Hearts)

Vantias: ('Sigh') (Can't Believe I'm Fucking doing this....) Heyyyyyyy, Sora.

Sora: (Glares at Vantias in complete silence) ....................

Vantias: Still giving me the Silent Treatment, huh?

Sora: (Turns Away from Vantias) ('Hmph'!)

Vantias: Yeah.... Kinda figured I deserve something like that.... (Slowy sat down next to an mad Sora) Alright. Sooooooo...That was Mission was something, huh?

Sora: .................

Vantias: Uhhh-

Kairi: (From a Distance) VANTIAS!! APOLOGIZE JUST LIKE WE PRACTICE!!!!

Vantias: (Yelling back) I'M GETTING TO IT, LITTLE MISS PRINCESS!!! BE PATIENT

Sora: (Simply Raised an Eyebrow at him)...........

Vantias: (Feels like he's sweating bullets) Uhhhh...... Don't pay attention to the far away background. Uhh.... Let's talk more about.....uhh Meow Wow! Yeah. Meow Wow. You really liked that thing, huh?

Sora: ...........................

Vantias: Okay. I can tell by the silent treatment you're still giving me right now that you still do....(Chuckles A Little Awkwardly)......

Ventus: (From a Distance) COME ON, VANTIAS!! JUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY ALREADY!!!!

Vantias: (Yells back at the far away background.... again) I'M TRYING! ALRIGHT? I'M TRYING!!!!

Kairi: (From a Distance) TRY HARDER!!!!!!

Namine: (From A Distance) WE BELIEVE IN YOU, VANTIAS!!

Vantias: ('Groans in Annoyance') (God, these people are driving up the fucking wall.....)

Sora: (Look back at Vantias a little before turning away again)

Vantias: ('Sigh Heavily') Look, Sora.... I'm sorry, alright. I'm I used Meow Wow as some shield just to complete our mission. Really had no idea how important he was to you up until.....But the point here is.... I'm.... actually starting to feel bad about all of this here. And this is me we're talking here.

Sora: ........................

Vantias: Look, you don't have to accept my apology if you really don't want to. But just know that.....if there's anything you want me to do to make up for what happened to today.....Then I'll do it.

Sora: .................................... Anything?

Vantias: ('Sigh') Yep. Anything you pure, irritating heart desires.

Sora: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

Vantias: (Great.... Five seconds and counting and I'm already having a bad feeling about this....)

Sora: Well, Vantias.......If you really want to make up for Meow Wow's mistreatment, there is one you could do.

Vantias: And that is......

Sora: I wanna hug.

Vantias: .............................What?

Sora: You heard me? I want you to hug me.

Vantias: .......... Seriously? Out of EVERYTHING you could literally ask for me to do...........You chosen that?

Sora: (Simply Nodded) That's right. You're the only one in our group of friends that I've never got a hug from.

Vantias: Yeah well, sorry to burst your bubble, Good Scout, but I don't do hugs.

Sora: You Lousy Hypocrite!! You let Namine hug you almost everyday!!

Vantias: That's because she's fucking Namine! You know? Our Precious Bean or whatever! My adopted sister! Who I love more than anything by the way!

Namine: (From a Distance) I LOVE YOU TOO, VANTIAS!!!

Ventus: (From a Distance) FAVORISM!!!!!

Vantias: SHUT UP, VEN!!!

Namine: (From A Distance) VANTIAS, DON'T BE MEAN TO VENTUS!!!

Kairi: (From a Distance) YEAH!!!! RESPECT OUR POPS!!!

VENTUS: (From a distance) YEAH- Uh Hey!!

Vantias: (Facepalms while Groaning) I swear these mother-

Sora: (*Ahem*)

Vantias: (Turns back to Sora)

Sora: (Crosses his Arms) You said you would do anything I want you to in order to make up for earlier, right?

Vantias: Well....Yeah but-

Sora: No buts!!! I ask for a hug and GODDAMNIT, I WANT IT RIGHT NOW!!!

Vantias: (Eyes Widened by Sora's sudden outburst) (Damn, Sora.....) Alright, fine. I'll give you a hug.

Sora: (Raised an Eyebrow) You mean it?

Vantias: Yes! Just.....(Slowly gives Sora the most awkward hug ever known to men) There. Happy?

Sora: .................................(Happily Hugs Vantias back with a little Tight Squeeze) Thank you, Vantias! I love it!!

Vantias: Cool. So.....are we good now or....

Sora: Good? We're better than good! We're be just fine.

Vantias: Sweet. So....you wanna let go now or.....

Sora: Nope.

Vantias: "Nope"? The hell you mean "Nope"?!

Sora: It means that I never wanna let go. (Starts Snuggling close to Vantias) I wanna stay like this forever.

Vantias: .....Sora, are you fucking snuggling with me right now?!

Sora: (Smiles Brightly) Yep! I'm a Cuddler~

???: (Giggles Softly) That he is~

Vantias: (Looks around and see Kairi, Namine, and Ventus standing around him and Sora.....with they're phones out) Are you taking fucking pictures of us right now?!!!

Kairi: (Smirks Playfully) Yup.

Namine: (Giggles Softly) We couldn't resist. You two look so cute.

Ventus: (Smirking Playfully at Vantias) It would be a real shame if we leave this Precious Moment out of the open.

Vantias: I hate each and every one of you.

Kairi: (Smiles Brightly) We love you too, Vantias. Now hold still and let Sora hug you some more.

Sora: (Smiles Brightly) Why not join us too, you guys!

Vantias: (Turns to Sora) Ex-Fucking-cuse me?!

Namine: ('Gasps') Sora, you really want us to join the Cuddle Session?

Vantias: "Cuddle Session"?!

Sora: Yeah! The more the merrier!

Kairi: (Shrugged Playfully) Wellllllll.....I wouldn't want to intrude on your moment or anything...buuuuuut....(Immediately Joins in on the hug) You don't have to tell me twice!~

Ventus: (Joins in as well) Count me in too.

Namine: (Follows Pursuit) Don't forget about me!

And with that our five friends are happily huddled together in a huge Cuddle Pile.

Kairi: ('Sigh Relaxingly') This feels nice....

Ventus: (Smiles Relaxingly) Tell me about it. I like this.

Namine: (Smiles Softly to Sora and Vantias) Thank you two so much for inviting us to this lovely Cuddle Session.

Sora: (Smiles Brightly) No problem! That what friends are for.

Vantias: The things I do for fucking love....

Namine: Vantias, no cussing.

Vantias: Sorry.

Namine: it's okay. (Kiss Vantias on the cheek with a Sweet Smile) I forgive you.

Vantias: (Blush a little) Thanks....

Sora: Awww~ That's so precious. Can I kiss you on the cheek too?

Vantias: Do it and I'll make sure this will be the last Cuddle Session of your life.

Inspired by @khtext

@26shann

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@ma-lemons

@kh-hugs

[justmikerrss]

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Grace

Ava: Please tell me you're free this weekend and if not please tell me you can make yourself available Grace: I obvs can be, why though?? Ava: Because Buster and Rio have imposed themselves on me Ava: or been imposed by my mum, anyway Ava: I was planning a party and they'll be way more chill if you come 'cos it's evidently not a rager Ava: but then we can still have a party and I don't have to kms/them 🙄 Grace: excuse you I can hang! but duh I will come cos you so wanna see your 💍👰 man, I see you babes Ava: You know what I mean though Ava: there's an assumption if fam is invited there's not also dealers and roadmen on the guestlist Ava: My brother is in an annoying mood and I cannot with that Ava: He won't be there, obviously 💍👰 Grace: 🙄 yeah Grace: UM tbh when is Buster not Grace: but I'll do the babysitting so you don't have to 👌👌 get you time to be 😍💖😘 Ava: Obvs it'll be good to see you too Ava: even if it clearly seems that shameless Grace: idc I'm that shameless at the prospect of hot london boys sooo Ava: 😂 Ava: I'll make sure there's plenty Grace: I'm not sorry that the accent is like !!! Ava: 😏 It's a fine line Grace: I'm walking a fine line here babes Grace: we don't even need to get into it Grace: get me on a ✈ literally Ava: Fair enough Ava: We can get into it when we've got into enough bottles Ava: They're coming over Friday at some point, ask 'em for the deets Grace: mhmm can't 🤐😶 me after the 🍾🍾 pops Grace: ugh Grace: texting Ri rn though Ava: Your accent is pretty !!! too so it's chill Ava: 🙌🙏 You're a lifesaver Grace: oh honey, you know boys love to hook up with me cos of my mouth but it's also what sends them running like Ava: Good thing it's just a weekend Ava: no time for running Grace: it's my turn ⏲🏃 Ava: Just not too soon, eh Grace: I got you, girl 💜 Grace: but we literally do need to get into what's going on with you & 👰💍 Grace: I'm so not waiting for you to make a 🍾 toast about him before I get any goss! Ava: I'm not planning on getting that wasted Ava: I don't even know where to start Ava: it's really gone 0-100 since we last spoke Grace: 😱😱😱 OMG! 👌 did you hit him up or did he hit you up?? Ava: Well Ava: Speaking of shameless Ava: I did legitimately lose a bracelet that night but I didn't really need to ask him if he'd seen it/could check for me Grace: your [expensive brand 1 that idk] or the [expensive bracelet 2]? Ava: My [expensive brand 3 plot twist] Ava: I got it for my birthday, actually Ava: Anyway, he rang everywhere up but obviously it was long gone, who isn't taking that if they can but I didn't even care 'cos it got us talking again and it was Ava: he wanted to see me the next day, so we arranged to meet at lunch Ava: but before I went to school, I got a delivery and he'd replaced the bracelet Ava: I was like...what Grace: OMG AVA! Grace: that's so cute Grace: he's so Grace: LITERALLY OMG Ava: He really is Ava: and he says the most amazing things and it doesn't just feel like talk but Ava: obviously, it's always going to be complicated, there's no way it can't be, he's said that too and I know it Grace: I'm totally shook Grace: like I thought this would be a one off, obvs no shade Grace: I'm definitely babysitting for you now! Ava: Me too Ava: it's ridiculous but somehow not Ava: not when we're talking like we've always known each other or when he's here Grace: how are you even living a 💖📽🎞 rn like ???!! Ava: I know like fully someone is gonna yell cut or jump out on me and tell me it's just a prank Grace: you literally have to get him over at yours before your parents come back Ava: Hopefully Ava: He can definitely do Monday, so I need Buster and Rio fully distracted then Ava: Friday is up in the air so I'll just let you know when it's safe for you to all head over, yeah? Grace: 💜🤞 Grace: I'll have the freakout that's SO overdue about my own love life Grace: once I start 😭😭😭💔 I can go for hours duh Ava: 🏆 to Miss Grace Cavante Grace: like it's not a lie 💜🙏 there IS a boy & I AM freaking out, I just don't need their advice about any of it 🙄🙄 Ava: Hint taken, no advice but I'm all ears 😶👂 Grace: it's fine you're not really old & 💖😍 smug & just GROSS Ava: Cheers, babe 😏 Ava: Lay it on me then Grace: ugh I can't even Grace: he's just not Grace: he's not any kind of boy I know how to deal with Ava: What's he like then? Grace: like he wants to talk to me?? but actually not just 😏😘!? Ava: Like you're a human? Ava: Where'd you meet him? Grace: at the gym so I was LITERALLY blindsided cos every lad in there is so 💪🤳🏻 Ava: + 1 for not being that kinda douche Grace: but if he was I wouldn't have to leave every 🗨 like ✔ Ava: You don't know what to say Grace: duh what can I even Ava: Well, if you have nothing in common, not a lot Ava: but you gotta do some talking before you can find out if it's worth doing any more, like Grace: ive gotta run away so thanks for the party invite, babes Grace: v well timed tbh Ava: You can do that too Grace: yeah Ava: Why not give it a shot though Ava: you clearly wanna, even with the freaking out Grace: UM hello?? do you not remember the cringefest that was my life not that long ago?! Ava: We've all made questionable choices Grace: & now I'm doing this thing™ where I like don't make a total fool of myself 24 7 Ava: Can't relate, clearly 😂 Grace: well you're in a rom com sooo Ava: Yeah and we could be about to see me 💔💀 eating my weight in ice cream Grace: that would barely be a 🍦🍨 binge 👌👌👌 Grace: & boys don't just buy bracelets cos they're lost Grace: this bitch can't get a boy to do the clasp on her necklace Ava: They do regret in almost instantly though Ava: maybe he thought I was guilting him or some shit Grace: if he thought that he wouldn't still be 😍😍😍 Grace: which he obvs is Ava: It's a headfuck but hey Ava: what ain't Grace: mhmmm Grace: you're about it though Ava: He's a really good guy Ava: I'm aware how naive that sounds given but still Grace: he can be a good guy & bad for his 👰💍 Grace: or she's bad for him Grace: some couples don't work, can't even Ava: She's Ava: a whole other story Grace: how well do you know her? Ava: Her reputation preceeds her in a lot of ways Ava: and I know some of it as fact, basically so Grace: Ew Grace: she sounds so #goals honestly 🙄 Ava: You have no idea Ava: but there's nothing I can do about it Grace: it's the worst Ava: yeah Grace: anything else I can do I totally will Ava: Thanks, babe 💙 Ava: all you need to do is distract, and we'll have a good time to celebrate Grace: 💜 Grace: seriously looking forward to it Ava: Me too Ava: I'll invite every hot boy I know Grace: ILY you know Ava: Duh 😏 Ava: ily too but save it for the 🥂 Grace: 🙏 that's all I say Grace: I don't 💕 gym boy Ava: Just chatting about your 😍 Ava: stop me mentioning mine, please 🙄 Grace: shh no Grace: I wanna hear everything about yours Grace: & your lunch date, thanks Ava: Okay, that was pretty cute Ava: so he picked me up from school in an uber so we got to make the most of the limited time we had Ava: then we went to get coffee and tried like everything on the menu Ava: and we watched a kinda dumb kinda everything film and you know Grace: it's SO rude that he's already married & you can't 💍 him cos that's such a MOOD Grace: like okay never tell Jimmy about the whole menu cos he'll khs but whatever Ava: I know, had to tip the baristas and the uber driver so handsomely Ava: but it was worth it Grace: I can relate, mine have definitely 👀 some shit 😂😂 Grace: less worth it though & obvs not as recently 🙏😇 Ava: I'm sure they found it entertaining Ava: miss it, if anything Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: but for real, I don't Grace: not my reputation & everything Grace: though if your bf's wife can get a 💍 there's obvs hope still Ava: Good Ava: for real Ava: you don't need any of that bullshit Ava: oh girl please 🙄 Ava: you ain't about to force a marriage Ava: or even more shaming, have your parents come together to force a marriage Grace: declaring myself a no fuckboy zone has been good Grace: even if that does mean staying single cos duh Ava: There's far worse things in life to be 🤷 Grace: yeah like I thought it would be the WORST but Ava: Can't be worse than fuckboys Grace: true Ava: even the ones that ain't Ava: or seem like more Ava: total headfuck Grace: preach! literally living my BEST life until gym boy got on my radar and got me like !!?? Grace: 🙄🙄 Ava: yeah Ava: tell me about it Grace: gonna have to put my phone under 🔐 somewhere when we're 🥂💃 Ava: Confiscated at the door, naturally Grace: yours too so you don't call up a divorce lawyer for your boyfriend 😂 Ava: not even funny Ava: 😏 Grace: sorry babes Ava: it would be funny if it weren't true Ava: not for my sake though Grace: I know Grace: I can't even imagine how tragic he's living Grace: ugh Ava: It's genuinely fucked Ava: and like, not in a 'he's told me to get in my pants' vibe Ava: you can tell, even without the full story Grace: & like there's little kids involved it's so 💔 Ava: I don't even know how to feel about them Ava: or if I should think about them Grace: I don't know if you'll be able to not Grace: think about them Grace: & not just cos like he has to Grace: cos you're you Ava: They'll never know Ava: so I don't have to feel bad Grace: 💜🤞 Ava: It sounds like their mum's whole vibe Ava: and their relationship Ava: is like, Ava: enough trouble Ava: I'm not gonna bring anything else to the table for any of them Grace: well yeah she sounds like an evil 👑!!! Ava: She is Ava: was Ava: Ugh, idk Grace: you're not gonna tell me who they are like EVER, are you?! Ava: I can't Grace: it's okay Grace: like it's soo not but I'm not gonna be that bitch about it Grace: or any of your secrets Ava: You can fill in the blanks Ava: it's not as if anyone is gonna know so put whatever hot face suits Grace: I'm here, just like tell me what you wanna tell me, yeah? Grace: no drama Ava: 😘 Ava: I know its so frustrating though, I'd feel it too no doubt Grace: it's this fam & our track record with secrets getting me worried Ava: I know Ava: it's Ava: nothing to worry about Ava: I've got it Grace: just keep hitting me up whenever you need to 👌👌 cos that's something else none of us obvs ever do Grace: & everything's such a mess literally always Ava: I know Ava: I bet Edie would have some advice Ava: super dubious Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: she'd have taken the bracelet & ✌ out Ava: Honestly Ava: is that not the right thing to do tbh Grace: duh depends how hot he is Ava: I doubt he'd be much her type Grace: I'd totally have to hook up with him though Grace: sorry not sorry Ava: 🙄 Grace: 😂 Ava: Ugh, I need to start drinking now Grace: what's he doing? invite him out Ava: He's with his family Grace: then he'll definitely wanna come Ava: Stop Grace: okay sorry 🤐😶 Ava: It's fine Ava: I am gonna go though, gotta get ready Grace: I should totally pick & pack a party outfit or I'll never be able to decide on a make up look Ava: Get busy, babe Grace: mhmmm Grace: you too hun Ava: 💙

[serenedash]

🏳️‍🌈 go feral with your kh babes

THANK YOU FOR ENABLING ME ANON you said go feral and I fucking did. I have. many headcanons and many are important to me and 99% of this is khux,

Hyperfix ask meme: do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

Xemnas is a mlm trans man and literally has so much mental illness. like nomura made the perfect ND character and I love him so much. He has so so much dissociation all the time.

Vanitas is a nonbinary icon you look at him and tell me he knows what a gender is. Also mental illness hours with him too that’s a given-

Ira is genderfluid (he/they/she) and gay!!!! Also obligatory him and Invi are twins moment- they are both Korean. He also has killer makeup and is very pretty. I hc that he has a lot of anxiety and has trouble making eye contact with people (that’s why I draw him with hair covering his face bc he doesn’t like people looking at him-) He doesn’t talk a lot, he only talks when he thinks it’s necessary! He internalizes a lot of things and isn’t vocal about his own feelings; he will always put others before himself.

Invi’s sexuality is lesbian and it’s also her gender. Unlike Ira, she’s very loud and has no problem being blunt. She can and will fight you and I love that for her :) Honestly she’s a very black/white person.

Aced is literally a bear like idk what you want. I hc him as black! He HAS to think out loud and say everything that’s on his mind. He has!!! Very big emotions too!!! In back cover he cries like twice and I’m like oh my god man please catch your breath. After the war I think he would have a lot of self esteem issues with how he acted and would rather distance himself from the others bc in his eyes he’s caused enough trouble already and can’t see the others forgiving him.

Gula is a trans man and bi and we love that for him. I hc him as white and Mexican! I think it’s a somewhat common hc that he’s a street kid and I think he already had a lot of trust issues going into his apprenticeship and obviously MoM made them. so so much worse. He tries to seem really aloof and mysterious and his resting bitch face helps but also he’s very anxious all the time and needs approval from everyone constantly he’s really bad at actually hiding anything. Like the way he runs to Invi about everything? The way he willingly tells Player and Skuld EVERYTHING despite the fact HE REALLY SHOULDN’T??? He’s very smart but like. His need for approval from others is his downfall. After the war I think he literally won’t trust anyone except for Ava like if his duty wasn’t keeping him there I’m sure he would ditch everyone.

Ava is agender!!! They/she :) no gender here!!!! I actually have a few headcanons for how they look bc I really like playing around with their illusion powers and them changing their appearance. I think the athlete Laurie Hernandez and Ava’s voice actress (Isabela Merced) are really good facecanons for them! I think Ava also has trust issues but they’re a lot more lowkey than Gula’s and are really only a result of the events of khux. I think they have a really strong sense of justice and self preservation where the other foretellers are more likely to think and feel as MoM tells them to. I also hc that Ava is lowkey like. such a girlboss and will do absolutely anything to get what they want. I think they have mixed feelings on the others and MoM but ultimately feels like they HAVE to oblige to whatever MoM has planned for them and their siblings.

Luxu is a nonbinary trans man (he/they) and pan! You look at post kh3 Luxu and tell me that man cares about gender. I hc him as being black and indian! khux Luxu I hc as having no filter and he will just talk and talk and TALK for so long and none of it will honestly make sense. This is a headcanon I stole from others but Luxu is chronically late to everything and the foretellers run on Luxu Standard Time.

Luxu part 2 I have a lot to say: anyway he’s a very genuine and trusting person and his role was really difficult at first bc he had to learn how to hold all his thoughts inside and be more serious. Over time I think he would go through many cycles of terrible emotions over himself, the others, and MoM. I think he’s extremely loyal to MoM to a fault and no matter what he does or what he thinks nothing can shake that loyalty even if he mourns the person he once was. He’s had to throw away his whole identity and all his own dreams/goals (if he ever had any) so he could help mom. He’s struggled a lot with his identity and personhood over the years and by the time of kh3 I think he would not even view himself as a person but more of a tool for MoM. I am a big MoM hater so I like to think deep down he would resent MoM for making him carry out a role for so long by himself but at the end of the day there’s nothing he can do about it and he’s going to see this through to the end.

Skuld is a trans girl!!!! And she is SO TALL!!! I know a lot of very tall gorgeous trans girls so I just look at Skuld and I Know. I think she’s a very social person but has a lot of self esteem issues that makes it hard for her to make friends. I like seeing her when she meets Player vs her at the end of khux bc I feel like she’s grown a lot and I love seeing her with friends!!!!

Ephemera is genderfluid, any pronouns, we love to see it. I like to actually think Eph is. not that great of a person (at first). Like very driven but is only looking for their own goals yknow but gets closer to people thru Player, Skuld and the other dandelions. I think a lot about post khux Eph struggling with some self image issues bc of what happened to the Player and I Want to hug Eph. so badly.

I have such a soft spot for trans man Strelitzia!!!! I like it when Him :))) just Strelitzia looking the exact same very pretty and cute but also rocking the he/him pronouns. I love weird girl Strelitzia so sooooo much like once he gets past his horrible social anxiety he’s going to make you a necklace made of bones. Where did they come from? idk. don’t worry about it

Lauriam is a mlm trans man and doesn’t bind we love to see it

Blaine is just like. mlm nonbinary virusgender icon, he/they/it pronouns or whatever pronouns are most confusing at the moment because it’s funny. Idk what it is about him that makes him like, such an easy character to project mental illness onto but like oh my god. A lot of it is very personal to me so like, I won’t say everything,, but a big one is trust issues that he works thru with the others (oh my god I cry about blaine when he was first introduced vs the end of khux HE CARES ABOUT EVERYONE SOOOO MUCH) also he does not like being perceived stop looking at him right now-

You look at Ventus and tell me he knows what a gender is. He doesn’t. what’s a pronoun. just straight vibing

Elrena is so lesbian and so not cis idk they’re just out here. Elrena hates everyone but would like to hold hands with Strelitzia very much

This last one is soooooo so niche but like. Holding the former captain of the sewer squad and the new captain. they are in lesbians.

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

Ok so I'm in the closet, right? (And I don't know if you support gay rights becaus you mentioned once you were religious so... sorry if I'm offending you) And my parents are homophobic and have told me repeatedly that if I'm gay then they would beat me and disown me and... I kinda like my house? Do you have any advise? I know you're not gay but I always saw your blog as a sort of safe place so thank you if you have any advice, sorry if I'm bothering you.

Dbkwwnnw. Oh my gosh sweetie I love you❤️❤️💖💓💗💗💓💖. Yes I am religious and my views about the LGBTQ+ is very conflicted. I love them but then I read the Bible and I’m just sjwnbw. Confused. But this isn’t about me this is about you. And I’m sorry if I’m not the best advice or if I fuck up somewhere and if I make jokes it’s bc I just whenever I’m nervous or scared and get second hand anxiety, I make jokes. But I probably won’t make jokes in this because it’s very serious. And yh I would be worried too bc my parents are just like yours they’re very um...anti-gay and stuff. And I’m so so sorry if this advice isn’t the best and is literally the worst advice dkwnwn.

I feel like maybe you should take it slow? Like don’t confess to both of them at the same time? And if you’re a child or like a teen (idk how old you are but I’m...a teen) just wait awhile I guess because then you may be more comfortable? Maybe they’ll be more accepting when you’re older and they won’t use the excuse, “oh it’s just a phase. You’re just confused,” like many parents do when you’re a teen and you’re going through something. And if you feel like you’re really comfortable with it now and feel like they won’t use that excuse bc they believe you’re old enough, maybe tell them but one at a time. See the others reaction and just tell them that you love with all of your heart.

If I was gay I would tell my mom first and then tell my dad. My dad is very mean when he’s angry. My mom can get angry in a hot second but she talks it through. Idk exactly what to do fkwnwnw. I would just tell them that you love them and respect their opinions (even if they’re very different from yours) and say that you hope they’ll still love you and tell them. But one at a time. Like take it slow and hope for the best? And if they do yell at you I feel like they won’t disown you (I’m not meaning as to say you’re wrong or stupid for thinking what you were thinking I’m sorry idk fwnneb) and do that because parents are supposed to love their child. I think about what a parent SHOULD do. They should love you for what you are. It doesn’t matter. I have conflicted emotions about the LGBTQ but Ik if my child was gay or anything I would be kind of weirded out about it bc of my religion but I would NEVER disown them or tell them that they’re stupid and horrible or beat them for that.

I feel like they may be angry, they may scream, but I feel like they wouldn’t let you leave. All parents love their children deep down and would do anything for them so maybe they wouldn’t do everything they said dkwnwn. I just feel like yeah you may need to take it slow and tell one at a time and just say that you love them and hope they’ll accept you for you.

I’m so so sorry that I don’t know what to do in this situation. It’s making me scared bc I don’t want you to be upset with me bc I have bad advice or like make them be mad at you and make you do something you’re not comfortable with or something djwnwb. But I hope this gave you a little comfort or help idk if it did and if it did I’m glad.

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Now...I’m going to give you the support you need. This is probably not needed idk. But you are amazing and beautiful. Ik a lot of gay people and LGBTQ get killed, hurt, bullied, disowned and it’s terrible. But you are beautiful and amazing. I hope that things work out and you get to live life the way you want. Bc living life free is the best thing and I hope you can do that. I hope you can be the biggest rainbow you can ever FuCKING BEEE. I bet you’re amazing and I’m glad you find me as a safe place and it makes me feel rlly happy when I get these things saying that my shitty blog where I fangirl over fictional men is a safe place for someone. It makes me so happy and I’m glad you came to me. I love you and you are amazing and I’m happy, again, that you came to me and I’m sorry if my advice wasn’t the best but I love you and you’re amazing and you fucking do your life YOUR way. Idk if you’re male or female but it doesn’t matter you’re AMAZING. And none of you (my followers) are a bother if you come into my ask box. I love helping y’all and it doesn’t matter what it is it could literally be like a personal thing like this and I’ll still help and love y’all asses so much.

Btw I do kinda support gays bc I’m in a gay fandom of Sora x Riku from KH so...if I ever say I don’t support gays then I’m lying y’all.

[squiishiichaos]

☕️ How do you feel about ffxv as a whole and the fact that nomura is doing his original version of it in kh?

Oh shit did you open up a can of worms with this.   Might wanna prepare yourself for this, because it’s about to get a little rocky in here.

So, let’s start with FFXV. 

I loved XV.  I did.  I really, wholeheartedly did.   I bought the deluxe, special FFXV PS4 that came out with its release, and I am so happy I did, because XV was exactly the kind of Open World Final Fantasy I ever wanted.  The main 4 were hysterical and their banter gives me life!  I have to just stan the Chocobros as a whole because you can’t pick one but if I had to choose, Noctis, you can meet me in the back with the jukebox and they had enough development throughout the 15 chapters to feel real and whole, and yeah.  Also, I played the various episodes that came out, and Ignis with his hair down almost killed me, along with Aranea being the biggest badass of all time in Episode Prompto.

Anyway, the ending is what Video Games need in this day and age.  4 adult men in their thirties talking about their feelings and crying it out the night before the biggest decision in their lives should be a staple in every single bachelor movie that ever comes out.   I swear to the Cosmos, Vozora, this shit had me crying for the entirety of hours!   When they replayed the convo from the beginning of the game, which I laughed at for like ten minutes straight, and Stand By Me started playing, I was lost to humanity.  I don’t normally cry, but I had three different family members ask me if I was okay, and I had to explain, while ugly crying, that, yeah, I was fine, and I was just crying over four fictional characters. No big deal, mom, just excuse me while I create a river of emotions. 

I also play Comrades, and I have to take a moment to say that whoever created Character Creation for that game deserves all the fucking love.  Like, okay, I have a problem.  Like a Laura Bailey level problem of spending six fucking hours creating characters in character creation, starting the game, hating them, and going back in for a second character like, “Maybe we’ll get it right this time!”  Comrades was the first game where I was able to successfully create Bibi in a style that looked like her–short, stout, clothes, and all.  The only other game to date where that has been possible is JumpForce, so, yeah. 

Anyway, moving on!  I FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!  Chocobos.   

Look.  I have a problem, okay? I know I have a problem.  I just really love Chocobos.  I wish chocobos were real.  For my Birthday or some shit, one of my harem friends bought me the Anniversary Stuffed Chocobo that Square released, and yeah, I immediately named that bitch Boco and it has a throne in my closet that no one can ever remove it from.  XV brought back the ability to not only train your chocobo and ride it through the depths of hell but also the ability to change its plumage?!   ALSO ALSO ALSO, the CHOCOBOS ARE SO FUCKING CUTE?!?!?!?!?!  FFXIV, they’re kinda…meh.  But no, XV was like, HERE, HAVE THIS CUDDLY MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST CAN”T HELP BUT WANT TO HUG AND SNUGGLE WITH, OH AND WATCH IT STEAL PROMPTO’S FOOD!!

I MEAN, LOOK AT IT, VOZORA!  ARE YOU LOOKING?!  DO YOU SEE WHAT i MEAN?!

All...my photos from that game…were of Chocobos.  Every. Last. One.   I cried…to Stand By Me…while Chocobos of varying shades…flowed down my screen…

I regret nothing. 

Okay, so, real talk.  When Verum Rex started, I thought Square had actually put a real game trailer into the game.  Like, I was actually like, “okay, Square, that was a bold move, take my money again, why don’t you.”  I was ready to quit out of KH3, go to the PS Store and buy it.  100%.  No regrets.   Then, I remembered Toy Story and I was like, oh, right, okay, thanks for trolling me, Nomura, you literal piece of shit.    

Yozora is the best name in the world, fight me, and I’m glad he has white hair and a red eye.  The dude with glasses is fucking hot as shit, and I hope we get to play in Verum Rex one day without Gundam battles.  As for its source material, Versus XIII, umm, can I just say?  Fuck you, Square.   I loved Noctis as an emo Prince, but can you imagine his royal pain the ass as a fucking gangster?   Ugghhhhhhhhhh   Saying shit like, “nani gantsukettenda omae?” (what the fuck are you looking at, by the way) “Uzai,” as he just shoves a fucking gunblade through someone’s eye.  Oh my god, all the possibilities.  Sorry, I have a thing for morally questionable heroes

ANYWAY, in short hah, I was fine with seeing Versus XIII in KH3 because it fits into the plot better than most.  If Cloud and Squall can fit into KH, so can a Noctis knockoff who looks like Sora and Riku’s love child.  XV was amazing, and I recommend everyone play it, if for nothing else than random people not recognizing the Crown Prince of their own country while simultaneously commenting on how hot all your other party members are.  Chocobos are the greatest creation ever invented.  And flying cars are bullshit.   

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk, I hope you have a lovely day.

Thanks for the ask!  :D