#literally one what do you know
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every now and again i am hit by the knowledge that i am a deeply cringe, untalented, unmotivated person. and then i just have to go on with my day.
#ow ow ow ow my brain literally hurts thinking about this#this is mostly just about my diss draft which is not getting written#but it's also about everything else in my life or lack thereof#the diss is just emblematic#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and then some people have the audacity to say#oh i'm sure that's not true#literally one what do you know#and two give me one counter example#you can't so there#i'm surrounded by people that are at the top of their class#with job offers from any place they might concievably want to go to#who also manage to juggle rich social lives and organising events and working on solo hobbies#who are interesting and well read and are generally good people besides#and then there's me#even this is cringe!!!!!!#the fact that i am even letting myself post this is unbelievably cringe and pathetic#i would like to not be me like effective 22 years ago#pls#vent
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who is your favorite AA character? 👁️👁️
ziska… I hope capcom brings her back someday
#shes cool as fuck to me bc when I first played jfa I found her really frustrating to deal with#not just as Phoenix but I mean like on a personal level she is challenging because she’s so thorough#and yet I also find it fascinating that she breaks the character she’s built for herself once in a while#i 100% believe that I don’t think she would have caught on to what Phoenix was trying to do while stalling for time with engardes trial#so it’s probably a good thing edgeworth subbed in but she literally busts her ass to bring evidence to court#almost right after having a bullet extracted from her WHICH SHE ALSO PRESENTS AS EVIDENCE. thats metal as fuck ok#especially since she would technically have nothing to do with the case after edgeworth fills in and she still decided to do that anyway#maybe it was blind faith to use that evidence to win since she wasn’t there for most of the trial but still#and even if canon doesn’t give it to me I still firmly believe there’s be at least some chemistry between her and Maya#like especially if you hold it next to wrightworth that works bc there’s already a history there and majority of Phoenix and miles trying#to relearn their relationship is Phoenix coaxing out that side of Miles that he remembers from fourth grade#but with Franmaya it’s something new and they’re basically strangers to each other and one of them almost got the other convicted#and I still think that’s fascinating and it’s a damn shame thay half of the fics I find for them on ao3 is background in wrightworth fic#i did find a good one that touched on Franziska trying to win pearls approval because Pearl does hold a grudge against her#and seeing that trying to live up to perfecting even her personal relationships without getting to know Pearl to even know#why it wasn’t working feels believable when I think abt her as a character yk#myart#my art#doodles#aa#ace attorney#franziska von karma
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IT WAS ERIC AFTER ALL!!!! I'm so glad we got to meet him (before Vil snaps him away with those Infinity Gauntlets) (can't wait to see what happens when we get the matching Infinity Tiara to go with them, there will be no survivors)
(sorry to be so slow/rough lately, just got a lot of stuff on the ol' brain at the moment! alas, if only I could spend all my time drawing incredibly stupid characters I mean I do but)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#tapis rouge#i know these are not my best but by god i needed to draw ~daddo venue~#he is a treat! can't wait for him to yell at us for screwing up a shoot or whatever the last-minute disaster will be#i am SO HAPPY it turned out to be about movies after all! ...i mean sort of anyway#i'll take what i can get (and i do enjoy twst trying to be all cute about snow whAHEM i mean beautiful queen) (i see you there twst)#(also to be fair it actually wasn't poisoned in historial-revisionism-twstland so i think we can trust this apple. a+ acting eric)#anyway we are still. very solidly in the 'stand around and talk about the wallpaper for three hours' part of the event.#but HEY we got to meet eric! i was not really expecting it to be him so i am VERY pleased#also god help me i did think the shopping montage as portrayed by a rhythmic where they literally SKIP down the street was hilarious#there's a lot of Choices that were made in this event and that was a good one
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So, I responded to a post over on my personal blog about people behaving "weird" in public and mentioned that being a bit smelly is not, in fact, a moral failure. And I just looked at the comments and feel deeply moved to reiterate:
Smelling bad in public is not a moral failure.
In fact, I'll go one step further:
There is no moral dimension to cleanliness.
There are all sorts of reasons a person might be dirty in public. They might not have access to the facilities or products they need to stay clean, they might be coming home from a dirty activity, they might have mental or physical conditions that make it hard for them to maintain their personal hygiene, they might be dependent on other people for their hygiene needs and those needs aren't being met.
Also, with smells in particular, "bad" is subjective. I'm personally extremely sensitive to perfumes and aftershaves, and while I can sit quite peacefully in a crowded bus that smells of BO, I often have to leave shops or get off buses because someone's perfume, which they no doubt think makes them smell lovely, is actually making me gag.
You don't have to go and huff great, gusting lungfuls of air around the next smelly person you bump into in the corner shop. By all means, breathe through your mouth, change your seat, open the window, wish the situation were different.
But you do need to let go of this idea that a smelly or dirty person is also a bad person. They're literally just a person - just another human animal living in their animal body, trying to get from one day to the next. Sometimes, people are dirty. Sometimes, they smell bad. If that's not something you can encounter without taking personal offence, you need to seriously reassess your own expectations of being in public.
#not podcast related#oooooh some of those comments got me so mad!!!!!#literally just sometimes people smell bad idk what to tell you#as a former rugby player and someone whose adhd makes it hard for me to remember to wash#i have absolutely been a Smelly Person on public transport#and do you know what? everyone survived#even me#and yes even the person wearing so much perfume that i can taste it#is not actually a bad person#just a smelly one
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unorthodox murder mystery
#zosan#one piece#roronoa zoro#sanji vinsmoke#fanart#okay so basically this concept is ok so basically#its a murder mystery where those who are murdered on the ship actually turn into VAMPIRES#but theyre like#guys. how the fuck do we not know who the vampire is#like what do you mean you are literally still alive after being 'killed' and somehow you dont remember who killed and turned you#zoro: well whatever. im still gonna be the greatest swordsman#sanji: right ok so hello FUCKFACE. DUMBASS. GREATEST SWORDSMAN THAT IS ONLY AVAILABLE DURING THE NIGHT OR WHAT–#sanji: CAN WE FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT WE JUST DIED THAT WE JUST CAME BACK TO LIFE THAT WE'RE IMMORTAL NOW. THAT I CANT TASTE THE FOOD I MAKE#zoro: wat dat gotta do wit me#sanji would be suchhhh a good vampire feeder but a terrible vampire I think#thats my opinion stop throwing rocks at me what the hell#anyway i dont actually know who the vampire on the crew woudl be#thats the mystery#its a mystery to the creaotr of the au as well obviously... or else whats the point.....
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hi. this,,
is just the spiritual successor to
#except#you know#the merthur one is FROM THE FIRST EPISODE#IT'S THEIR FIRST MEETING#and arthur talks about getting merlin on his knees literally immediately after this#anyway#i just realised i've been getting strung along by fictional gay besties for over a decade#what am i#even doing#buddie#911#merthur#merlin#bbc merlin#arthur pendragon#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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look i really don't think confessions is going to be canon queer eddie but i don't think it needs to be because well. just for a moment. imagine eddie looking at buck for the first time after letting shannon go for good. imagine ryan guzman as eddie diaz looking at oliver stark as evan buckley for the first time after letting his wife rest finally. imagine it.
#sami rambles#it's literally going to change me as a person i can feel it#like even if it's not A Moment i know ryan's making A Choice with it#it's going to fucking ruin me#what do you mean eddie's going to work through the one thing that's haunted him ever since he's known buck what do you mean#911 show#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buck x eddie#buddie#911 spec
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on the one hand I think inner demons could stand to have a bit more romanced rook specific content, but on the other hand the underlying in-built implication that 'yours is the one true voice of comfort and safety in my inner world' is a sentiment and intimacy so way beyond the romantic or the platonic or any secret third thing you could care to name that it makes me lose my entire poor little mind a bit. it's so big and fundamental — near-existential — that in that exact moment at least the distinctions kind of seem irrelevant.
all the people lucanis' mind conjures up along the way are relationships he has that are unavoidably mixed and fraught in some ways even when they're also full of love (they are fraught BECAUSE they're full of love) — the good in them inseparable from things that hurt him at the same time. (it's about: the basic disorganized attachment patterns this poor guy is dragging around with him. careful with those, they're dellamorte heirlooms. what you love also inevitably hurts you and you won't be allowed to have one without the other, you have to surrender parts of your soul to hold on to what little you have left: this is the story up until now.) and the idea that rook isn't that to him — that beneath the fear of wanting them when romanced (which is more its own separate thing because within this psychology, actively wanting something and not just clinging on for dear life to even a meager status quo lest you lose it is in itself dangerous bordering on catastrophic), this is a relationship where there isn't resentment, or guilt, or shame, or dread, or rage, or self-hate, or any of the other emotions that keep him paralyzed, unable to move this way or that. no debts, nothing owed of yourself and your soul's substance except what you can freely and safely and happily give. love and freedom don't coexist — but, I mean, you're almost starting to make me think........... unless...👀👀👀. the unconditional and undramatic 'you are here and I am here with you, you can be exactly how you are right now with me and it's safe for us both even though you're afraid it won't be, I'm not going anywhere' acceptance rook shows him here that he returns to them in the big romance scene, when it's rook who needs it. the way he's just. standing there in the center of it all, like a child desperately helplessly waiting to be found, hiding in the place he hopes you'll know to look first. (rook does know. it's one of the first things they say in there.)
in short the most important room in his little mind palace for the romance is the very first room — the one where rook isn't. where, in fact, rook cannot be, because they disprove the entire structure of the place with their existence and presence in his life. with everyone else he's putting words in their mouths about what they think of him, and rook is the one who actually gets to come in to speak their own words to him — and have him listen. ('he'll listen to you, he always listens to you', 'your voice is a comfort'.) of course rook isn't present anywhere else in there — at the risk of stating the obvious to a tedious degree, they aren't one of the locks, they're bringing the key. in the very finest 'the messenger and the message' sort of way.
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#dragon age meta#rook is his first brush with actual safe attachment. and to me and because of who I am as a person#nothing could be more romantically devastating or impactful fhdsjkfhs that's literally the unreachable wistful dream the pie in the sky#the garrus romance echoes too. some of the same stuff going on under the hood here#you know who else he's sneakily like too actually? iron bull. the 'no matter where I turn I'll hurt someone I love' and dissociation stuff#there's that whole line about 'walking close to the edge or whatever'#which is masterful as a diversion b/c what this romance is really about is feeling truly safe with someone#in a sort of weirdly realistic way that makes it struggle with the conventions of video game romance but sure is Doing something!#and I unwittingly made a rook who also is on that specific arc so it's working out just devastating for me thanks for asking#the part in andrea gibson's 'prism' that's like. there is no shelter in the womb it's where you learn the cord that feeds you#could at any moment wrap around your neck. I think that's the initial understanding of love here. which is not good. if you think about it.#I don't think I really write these kinds of posts btw I just black out for a while and when I wake up from the trance I too#get to read what the fuck I've been thinking about finally. corralling that raging electric storm#that keeps overtaking my neurons at regular intervals and translating it into if not sense then certainly words. lots of words#no one is ever more surprised than me to find out what i'm thinking and feeling
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Daddy, don't go.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#jiang fengmian#Scenes that are tragic but still made me laugh: JFM wrapping the boys *right back up* after finding out it was YZY who tied them up.#I know he did it because he understands the severity of what's going on in lotus pier & the need to protect his children.#But it also comes off as 'Oh your mother said so? Yeah I'm not overruling her. Listen to your mother kids. I gotta go.'#You guys ever think about how the last time Jiang Cheng saw his parents alive it was them both pushing him away one last time?#I do!!! I sure do!!! Now you can too! Welcome to my sad little club. The refreshments are all saltwater.#And the subtle difference in who the parting is intended for. YZY meant to leave WWX with JC as a protector. JFM wants them both safe.#The reveal that Zidian responds to JFM aches so badly.#The fact the weapon she literally lashes out with also reveals her heart is so poetic.#I sure hope they can reconcile their feelings. I hope it all works out.#This is the last of the math boat jokes. Back to labeling the boats properly after this.
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"such a mouth on you!" 👀👄
#rwrb#rwrbedit#red white and royal blue#alex x henry#firstprince#userninz#userveronika#chrissiewatts#usersteen#usernuria#usergayppl#userclara#mine*#there are layers to this#like i didnt realise how much they looked at each others lips#second scene and henry is already doing it. i know what you are#the one in the closet is literally insane. alex. come on now. how did u not realise#your body language is subconsciously doing it all for you#the plane one still kills me 😩😩 alex wanted to kiss him sooo bad :(
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Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
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whatever happens, please don’t break
#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote#does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you#literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering#i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk#will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness.#DO YOU UNDERSTAND#bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals#paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion#THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK#i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential#but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic#also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀#and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔#osamu dazai#dazai osamu#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws
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i would like to see more permanent brain damage in whump please and thank you.
and not just traumatic head injuries, though they are fun, but also shit like hypoxia. you know how much fun you can have with that? like, maybe your whumpee drowns and is fully dead for a hot second, and there’s just. no air inside them for a while. they come to after someone saves their life and they’re just hacking and coughing and spluttering and desperately trying to suck down air, you know the drill. or maybe they get shot, in the liver or something, and they just won’t stop bleeding. when they eventually do, they’ve lost so much blood that they’re on death’s door, and there’s a race to get them a blood transfusion before it’s too late. the team manages, but only just, and whumpee’s brain has been deprived of oxygen for so long that when they eventually wake up, they’re so confused, and weak, and scared. fun stuff, right?
and then you have the brain damage. there is so much fucking potential here for whumpy recovery shit. maybe they can’t talk anymore, maybe they can’t understand people anymore, maybe they can’t move properly anymore, maybe they become a different person entirely, a la phineas gage. and they don’t know what to do. their entire life has just been permanently altered, their fucking brain is different now. they lash out more, they wished they didn’t but they can’t help it. or maybe they just become apathetic, and they can’t feel any emotions strongly so they’re just left with this dull, droning sense of guilt for being such a dick. maybe they start crying every now and then, and they don’t really know why, they just feel so fucking sad. maybe they get consumed by this dreadful feeling of isolation, unable to communicate with their friends like they used to.
and then the team has to try and rehabilitate them.
#ugh#bonus points if the team has no idea what they’re doing#i mean what are the chances one of them is a speech/occupational/physical therapist#pretty fucking slim if you ask me#i know a guy with pbd#he’s fine dw#it wasn’t that bad at all#he’s just kinda uninhibited and will say literally whatever the fuck he likes#i mean it still sounded fucking terrifying icl#but in the grand scheme of brain injuries it’s not that bad#anyway give your favs brain damage#whump#whump prompt#whump scenario
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did you know that in one of dorm epel's voicelines he mentions he once got lost in pomefiore and ended up in a creepy basement. it's never mentioned again or given any clarification and i think about it every day
that comes up a couple of times actually! there's just like...a weird creepy dungeon slash old alchemy lab that the Pomefiore castle was built on top of. I think Vil might use it sometimes? but really it serves absolutely no purpose beyond the characters every once in a while being like "oh yeah, there's that secret underground laboratory we all apparently know about" and then never elaborating on it at all.
(I know it's a movie reference, but it's still pretty wild to just. in-universe have a not-so-secret basement alchemy dungeon that never has any relevance beyond a couple of throwaway lines. what other buckwild secrets does NRC hold that the characters just never talk about for some reason)
#art#twisted wonderland#the nrc campus is fascinating to me#do you ever just think about how the characters are like...stargating around all the time#you get out of class for the day and teleport to what might be a literal ancient castle to go to bed#i have been lowkey thinking about this ever since jamil yeeted us out of the dorm and to the end of the world that one time#and honestly i don't know what to do with this information#it just feels like something that should be more important than it is
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I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day
It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..
..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what
#I got this compliment once and I was like :3 bc I like compliments. then 4 days later I recognise the name and pfp on#on a tumblr I rlly rlly like bc they're super cool make super cool art and has super cool ideas and I'm just like woah they complement me s#so I search my notifications to find which post they complimented me on and I find out. they're following me. ummm IJWEHFOIWJ#i just can't get over this bc they're literally so cool what#anyways#I got two whole documents of canon dust things and one ao3 of canon things about killer#so I'm learning a way to do justice to the creators image while still putting my own twist on it bc I love fanon and that's how I grew up#I'm literally so passionate about fanon. specifically Gacha fanon bc it's literally so fun and no one else know that#like. literally everyone just like had terrible experience apparently idk how I didn't experience that#am I the only one who knows these characters still had lore Ben though unrelated to anything canon at all#anyways I'm rambling too much whoops#sans au#utmv#undertale au#sanscest#if u want#killer sans#dust sans#kist#if u want...#LOVE affair#teaching myself to use this tag too but eh#did you know Horror is more likely to be a part of the bad Sanses than Dust#Jesus fuck I rambled these tags to hell
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more spn ponies :-) rounding off team free will w/ cas and jack
#castiel#spn#supernatural#castiel fanart#jack kline#jack kline fanart#spn fanart#supernatural fanart#ponynatural#milosartstuff#jacks cutiemark is supposed to represent the sort of self sabotage and fuckupery he has a proclivity for while trying to do the right thing#ouroborus wrapped around a compass. moral compass of sorts. pointing north/up to the heavens as both a literal tell of his fate and a-#metaphorical one about where his heart is in his actions#but those actions do keep messing things up. badly#its also the same snake he adopts. smile#castiels is a heart hidden behind wings with light leaking out of it. if you dont get iti dont know what to tell you
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