#literally nothing could have prepared me for the choreo happening so close to me

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Help 😂

[myfirstandlast]

I ended up putting a basic outfit together and spent like half the concert staring at the back of ppls heads lol but I had sm fun just being in the crowd and screaming along with everyone hehe also the girlies put on the performance of their lives as always and are even more gorgeous irl than ppl say they are 💞💞💞 how was the concert for you?

they are absolutely gorgeous!!! honestly sometimes when they were talking i’d just look at like their knees to try and see them as totally real 3d people in front of me i needed someone to pinch me LOL the crowd energy for ptt was exactly what i hoped for it was great

im gonna use ur q to give a sum-up of the stupidly lucky night & what happened to me and my partner because honestly so incredible and so baffling and we both had terrible horoscopes that day so just wow. a lot happened lmao so i was getting picked up and my friend had to pick someone else up and my friend’s car ac didn’t work in the atl traffic so it was a HOT drive and we ended up switching to the friend’s car just to make it in one piece so we were literally getting there at like 6:30? my partner was already there and in line and they kept telling me i’m moving up hurryyyy come quick so we were rushing down the line and once i found them they were LITERALLY a couple people before the metal detectors. they had ritz crackers for me cuz i had only eaten grapes in the car lmao so it was me in my fairy wings squeezing past the barricades and stuffing three crackers in my mouth before i had to throw them away because we were Right There it was very chaotic. security checked my purse and asked what was in my mini bag and when i said makeup he was like “you weren’t kidding” LMAO i just really like to be over-packed and over-prepared. anyways we tried buying drinks and they told us they couldn’t sell to us without a wristband so this led to an extended run-around of miscommunications with multiple staff members thinking we were trying to spend $80 to upgrade to vip upstairs and then nobody could find the girl with the wristbands and it was basically up until the very last moment that we got through with that thank god. we actually did have regular seats upstairs so we were rushing to those and it was so crowded and so close to starting i started getting rlly panicky cuz i couldn’t tell where our seats were but it seemed like someone else was in them?? but i was rlly embarrassed to squeeze through the whole section and be wrong cuz it was cramped so we went to ask a staff member and by the time we got back the chairs had mysteriously cleared so 🤭

ANYWAYS OMG IM SO SORRY ITS SO LONG ALREADY but we were at the very edge of the section so those long chains of hanging speakers were literally in our faces and i was a little disappointed cuz you could only see a few girls in the front line of choreo at most but we were still really close and i was excited to be there so it was all good. they did their intro and stuff we freaked and then star started and we FREAKED top ten english kpop releases on my life. one of my absolute faves so we were totally engrossed and then this security member like popped his head over the edge of the section wall as we were screaming and was like “are you two together” and i said yes and all he said was “come with me” nothing else so i was SCARED i started getting rlly anxious that they were gonna say we kicked someone else out of their seats or we were getting escorted out or they were gonna be like actually you guys aren’t 21 (we are) and drinking illegally so you’re done idk i was just scared cuz it was so soon to when the show started i thought something was wrong. we had to literally like climb down the rows and we were led around the entire section and through the whole middle section to go to the other side and this same guy who is explaining nothing to us was just like put your wrist out and he started putting these fabric wristbands on us and then he leaves?? so we’re left standing at the corner of this section so i turn to another staff member and im like what are these for? and as he’s about to answer someone motions to him and he points down the section and the guy is at the other end calling us over MIND YOU THEYRE PERFORMING STAR THIS WHOLE TIME I CANT EVEN PAY ATTENTION we’re like crouch running to not block anyone i was literally singing along while running trying to be in the moment and then he’s at a table????? like the actual closest table to the stage next to the railing and he has us sit down and he says something to me i actually have no idea what he said but i heard “for now” so??? are we temporarily here?? are they finding us new seats?? why did we move?? but now the entire view is different like y’all we were opposite our original seats but you could see EVERYTHING i didn’t even know there was screen behind them until then. the girls were sooooo close oh my god. so we were at this table for a while eventually another staff member even showed us the qr code menu on the table like you guys can order stuff you know and they’ll bring it to you!! we were like ok thank you!! ?? so does that mean we’re staying here?? spoiler alert we DID stay there the entire show i don’t know what FOR NOW was about but the only thing that changed was around halfway through they had another girl sit on the opposite side of us and if anyone was at the atl show she was literally the girl screeching when it was silent for olivia to marry her she was fr rude but she was younger so whatever ig. but that was our view for the rest of the show we got a ton of waves yves looked over a bunch we got some hearts my partner was fucking losing their mind lmao it was so so fun. i just rlly felt devastated for haseul her seat was immediately below us and she kept standing up from her chair to do little bits of choreo during the songs you could tell she wished she didn’t have to sit down :((( and my melody it was her on the stage along in her sling like how sad omg…… but she rlly did her best they made the most of an awful situation for them and i rlly appreciate it they were awesome soooo in love

[nct-bliss]

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NCT Female Subunit AU

BLISS x NCT DREAM

Just after a collab dance performance between the two units, Jiwoo passes out backstage. Haechan isn’t too happy about his best friend’s irresponsibility.

We’re off to an angsty start hahaha.

__

“Where’s the pin for this outfit?!”

“Can we go over the choreo one more time please?”

“Hell no Yunhee. You better be kidding.”

“Should we test our mics again?”

A groan. “Do I really have to pick up Kayo and spin her?”

“Yes. Yes Jisung, you do.”

A hundred thousand words of chaos swirled around Jiwoo’s mind as she leaned over the vanity, looking into the mirror. Her members, both the girls and boys, were scattered around the room, doing last-minute preparations.

She smoothed down her already-straightened hair and fixed her gaze on her reflection. There wasn’t a single flaw in her makeup. Her outfit was pretty modest by idol-standards, and still very pretty. Her feet adorned boots as opposed to heels. Everything was as perfect as it could be.

So why did she feel so shitty?

Her stomach felt light yet heavy at the same time, like a pit was buried deep inside it. Her entire body felt like it could crumble any second, at any touch or movement. Her head was killing her, it hurt so much.

It’s probably just last-minute anxiety, Jiwoo assured herself. 

She forced herself to straighten up, absentmindedly adjusting her left earpiece once more. Then she whirled around, ignoring the pounding sensation at her temple as best as she could.

“Are you guys ready?” She asked, unsure if it was even her own voice she was hearing.

“Yes,” Kayo and Chenle chorused before shooting each other glares. “Stop copying me,” they repeated together again before yelling at each other.

Jiwoo focused her attention on the member closest to her. “How long again?”

“We’re going on in two minutes,” Jeno told her, pausing before frowning slightly. “You okay?”

Jiwoo laughed lightly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just nervous for some reason.”

“You’re shaking a little...” 

“I promise I’m fine, Jeno. I’m just not used to having only choreography to memorize.”

“If you say so.” He sounded unconvinced, and Jiwoo couldn’t blame him. She could faintly hear the tremor in her own voice.

“One more minute!” The manager called, and the group made their way closer to the stage. 

Jiwoo felt her head spin under the bright lights and constant noise of bustling activity. She held onto Lian who was walking in front of her, gently keeping a hand on her shoulders. Partly for physical support, partly so she could talk to her in a closer distance.

“You remember everything?” Jiwoo whispered.

“Yeah,” Lian answered, probably rolling her eyes. “Do you?”

“I remember. But if I die halfway, don’t be surprised. I feel like shit.”

Lian turned to face her, worry reflected in her watery eyes. “What’s wrong?” 

“Head is killing me. I just feel awful.”

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!” She whisper-yelled. “You shouldn’t be on stage right now.”

“I’ll be fine. It’s just a 3 minute choreography. As soon as we’re done, I’ll probably just crash on the couch in the dressing room. I didn’t want us to re-plan the whole thing.”

“Okay...” Lian still sounded worried. 

Finally, it was time. Jiwoo pushed herself up and let go of Lian to make her way across stage. It was dark and the lights were only going to come on once they were all in position. She felt a comforting squeeze of her shoulder as Jaemin walked past her, and she flashed him a small smile.

Showtime, Jiwoo thought, leaning down to crouch in her beginning position. She replayed the choreography in her mind a couple times, just to get her attention off the dull thud in her head. 

She raised her head as soon as the lights flashed, giving an alluring smile to the camera.

__

Five minutes later, both units were walking backstage again, everyone feeling half-thrilled and half-tired.

“Did you guys hear those fanchants?” Minji exclaimed, detaching her earpiece. “That was crazy!”

“Right?” Renjun laughed. 

Aria smirked. “Okay, but did anyone notice how loud it got when Jisung had to pick up Kayo?” 

Jeno and Chenle burst out laughing while the two mentioned just looked away in embarrassment. “I did notice!” Yunhee cackled. “I was trying so hard not to laugh in the middle of dancing.”

“Oh, I didn’t even hide my laughing,” Donghyuck chimed in. “I’m pretty sure the cameras saw me.”

“Ugh, you guys are the worst,” Jisung groaned. 

Kayo rolled her eyes. “Literally neither of us wanted it. But someone just had to bring up the idea to the choreographer.” 

She narrowed her gaze at Minji, who just smiled innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

They all talked some more and laughed, able to relax now that all their performances for the day were done.

Jiwoo was the only quiet one, walking slowly compared to the others. Her legs felt like they were tied down by an anchor. Her stomach turned and felt even worse than before. She lagged behind the group, the only destination on her mind being a couch or just anywhere to lie down. 

She could make out Lian’s face turning around to ask her something. Jiwoo opened her mouth to respond, but no words came out. Instead her mind felt cloudy and she couldn’t think of anything. Dark spots filled her vision and she shut her eyes before falling down onto her knees.

“Jiwoo!”

“Yah, what the hell!”

“What happened?”

“Jiwoo what’s wrong?!”

“Can someone get a water bottle?”

A pair of hands gently laid her down, so her head was resting on someone’s lap instead. Someone else adjusted the position of her legs.

Jiwoo’s vision was still dark but she could hear everyone around her. The sounds of voices and footsteps felt drowned out, as if she was underwater, or in a tunnel.

A voice that sounded like Jaemin’s spoke. “Does anyone know what’s wrong? Jiwoo never mentioned she was sick.” He sounded really upset.

A soft tone replied. “She told me she wasn’t feeling well just when we were walking on stage.” Jiwoo recognized it as Lian’s, and she sounded on the verge of crying now.

“I could tell something was off earlier too, but she told me she was just nervous,” Jeno added, distress evident in his words.

“Dammit, Jiwoo.” That was definitely Aria.

Jiwoo’s eyes fluttered open after a few more seconds, her head still hurting. Her vision was mostly clear, just blurry around the edges as she blinked up at her members.

The first thing she saw was Minji’s face. So that was whose lap she was laying on. The second was Jaemin, leaning over closely. And the third was Donghyuck...

Who looked both extremely terrified and angry at the same time. Jiwoo internally swallowed at the scolding he would surely give her once she was fully conscious.

“Jiwoo! Can you hear us?” Minji asked, gently pushing a hair strand out of her face.

“Yeah,” Jiwoo replied softly, her voice barely above a whisper. She had a naturally raspy tone, but it seemed almost intensified now.

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Jeno asked.

“Six.”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “She fainted, it’s not a concussion.”

“It doesn’t hurt to check!”

“Here,” Chenle popped up in her vision, holding a water bottle. “Drink some of this.”

Jiwoo sat up a bit, lifting her head from Minji’s lap to instead sit in front of the older girl. She took the bottle with a small smile before lifting it to her lips. Jaemin helped her steady her grip by placing his hand on top of hers.

The cool water felt extremely refreshing as it flowed down her throat. It cooled her instantly, and alleviated some of the pain in her head. Her vision cleared completely at this point too.

“Are you feeling better?” Jisung asked tentatively, hovering like he was ready to spring up and get something for her at any moment.

Jiwoo smiled at him. “Yes, I am now.”

“Good,” Kayo said sweetly, before she glared sharply at Jiwoo. “Now I can say this: what is wrong with you?!”

“The whole day went by and you didn’t say anything until we literally stepped on the stage, and only to Lian!” Renjun snapped.

“Okay, before we get into any of that, let’s figure out what’s actually wrong with her,” Jeno sighed. “Are you sick? Burning up?”

Chenle placed his palm on her forehead. “No, she feels fine.”

“Did you not eat anything all day?” There was an odd note to Jaemin’s voice, as if he was seriously not wanting to hear an answer to that.

“I mean, I ate no differently than I do on our usual performance days.”

“So barely anything, then.” Yunhee sighed.

“Guys, I don’t think it was food,” Jiwoo assured them. “I think I just had a really bad headache, and all the stuff I did today didn’t help it at all.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I’m sure a five-hour long rehearsal, both in the studio and on stage before, totally helped you feel better,” Aria said dryly.

“I’m sorry guys.” Jiwoo curled up a bit more with a frown. “I’m so used to shrugging off stuff just to get work done, and I didn’t want to mess up our schedule in anyway.”

Lian poked her. “You’re forgiven. Just don’t do it ever again,” She sniffed.

Jeno let out a deep breath. “You almost gave us all heart attacks.”

“I’m sorry.”

Chenle stretched. “Well, now that Jiwoo is taken care of, let’s go eat.” He shot Jiwoo a look. “And you have to eat at least two plates.”

“I can’t eat that much!”

“Too bad.”

They all stood up, and Jiwoo lifted herself away from Minji with ease. Well, for two seconds before her legs felt shaky again. Almost instantly, a hand wrapped around her waist and she looked up to see Donghyuck.

He tightened his hold and pulled her close to his side. “Yah, you can’t just get up and walk like nothing happened after all that, you idiot,” He scolded.

Jiwoo blinked as her head hit against his chest gently. “Thanks, Hyuck.”

They lingered behind the group as Jiwoo walked slower than usual, so she didn’t feel dizzy again, and Donghyuck supported her weight. 

“That was so stupid,” He spoke, his gaze fixed frontwards so she couldn’t see his face. 

Jiwoo winced at the edge in his tone. “I know, I’m sorry I freaked you out-”

“No, Jiwoo. You should be sorry for putting yourself at risk like that,” He snapped. “You never take care of yourself.”

“Work is more important,” she argued quietly. “We’ve been planning and practicing this for weeks, no way was I gonna ruin it.”

“It’s not just about that,” He sighed, the sharpness in his tone subsiding. “You’ve always done this, even as a trainee. You put everyone and everything above yourself, and it scares me.”

Jiwoo’s eyes widened slightly before she looked down, memories of trying to support her very hectic and poor household in New York resurfacing in her mind. “I know...it’s a really bad habit that I’m used to.”

Donghyuck stopped and ruffled her hair, facing her with a more calm expression. “Just please promise me you won’t do this again.”

“I promise I’ll try my best.”

“Hurry up, you two!” Kayo yelled from the area where the table of food was. “Or Yunhee is gonna eat all the dumplings!”

Jiwoo and Donghyuck exchanged a fond look before hobbling towards everyone. “Okay, okay! Save us some!”

[95liners3rdmember]

Worth It

Chapter Twelve: Last Night

Word Count: 4748

Chapter Eleven: Now you know. (Part 2)

The rest of the week seemed to fly by and before I know it I’m sitting in my living room with Natalie while she packs away everything she brought and all of the items she accumulated over the week. My heart physically hurts with the thought of her leaving but I know that there’s no time considering BTS has so many events coming up that require my full attention. We were able to get Jimin and Jungkook’s solo choreo finished and they look amazing, hopefully Army will agree too. They each incorporated their style with what I came up with and it turned out way better than I had hoped. Even though I was distracted the entire time Jimin and I worked together, which can all be blamed on the other night.

“You’re thinking too hard again. I can hear you from over here.” Natalie’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts. A huff of annoyance slips past my lips before my brain registers what just happened. The other night was a complete mistake and will never be repeated again for as long as I live.

“I should’ve taken a picture when I walked in, but sadly my phone had died.” Natalie’s voice is light but a hint of honest regret lies underneath. If she would’ve captured the one moment of weakness that I allowed, I would be digging my grave right now. Actually scratch that, an Army would be digging one instead.

“Can you let it go? It was a mistake and a ONE time thing. We were both exhausted.” Smacking my palm against my forehead I fall back on the couch, that was the wrong choice of words. Jesus I really am an awkward teenager at heart.

“How do you think I felt walking in on it? My heart completely dropped to my stomach.” Aimlessly I toss a pillow in sisters general direction, instead of hearing her groan I hear a picture frame fall over instead.

Natalie: 1, Y/n: 0.

“Can you stop making it seem like something scandalous happened? We literally feel asleep next to each other.” That’s all, we just passed out after an emotional rollercoaster of a day. It’s happens…

“I can let that one slip, but the cuddling I can’t. Should’ve known Park Jimin was a cuddler.” Groaning, I feel my cheeks heat up from the statement. Personally, all I can say is that sleep was the best I’ve gotten in my entire life. My body seemed to shut down completely and felt secure. Honestly I would say it’s because I cried so hard but subconsciously I knew it was because Jimin was close. Never in my life had I felt as safe, like nothing else mattered. Turning on my side, I face my sister who’s stopped packing and all of her features have turned serious.

“Just admit it, you like Jimin. And not just as your ‘bais’, but as someone you have a genuine interest in.” Natalie makes air quotations around bais and it makes my stomach hurt. I wait for the punch line or the joke to arise but Natalie remains serious. I guess we are really going there.

“I won’t admit anything that could cause an issue with my job or my life. You know me better than anyone, so you should know what inner battle I’m fighting.” Maybe if I deny it enough times to myself then it will because more believable to others. But the truth is that every day I’ve spent with him, more of my idolized feelings have turned into something more mature.I wouldn’t say that I’m falling for Park Jimin because there’s no way in hell I would let that happen. But there’s definitely something starting to form that’s beyond the level of friendship and of someone I look up to.

“Mhm, so you’re telling me that the dance practices with him went so awkwardly this week because you were just having an off day. Bull….” Shrugging my shoulders in defeat I roll off of the couch and go to my bedroom. I’m not prepared to discuss anything related to my personal feelings anytime soon. So my next best option is to change the subject completely.

Natalie yells at me to come back but I need to get something out of my purse for her. There was a large envelope left on my desk yesterday morning with instructions to give the contents to my sister. Maybe it was a little something from BigHit after Natalie helped with the photo shoot. I didn’t feel like being a snoop and decided to just hand it over.

Shuffling back into the living room, I drop the heavy packet on her lap before jumping back into the safety of my blanket covered couch. Her eyes pop out of her head as she begins to open the thick envelope. This time around I can’t help her, the last time I ever saw something that thick from BigHit I was signing my life away for two years.

“Y/n….” Natalie’s voice cracks and a sniffle hits my ears, snapping my attention fully to her my heart breaks. My sisters hands are shaking as she reads the papers in front of her. Overprotective sister mode kicks in and I leap from my couch to her in one quick move. Instantly I’m reading the papers too ...no way….

“They want me to intern for them during the summer.” Looks like Natalie will get to experience the chaos that a world tour brings too. At least I won’t be the only new person on the team.

“That means you’ll be working the North America leg of the tour with me.” A smile cracks across my face as I pull her into a tight hug. Her sniffles mix with laughter as we break apart, her hard work showed the other day. I knew that the stylist liked her but I never imagined they would like her work this much. She may just have a future with BigHit after graduating from college, because there’s no way I’ll let her drop out just to work. I want Natalie to be better than me and the first step is to have a college degree that will allow her to go anywhere her heart desires.

Natalie just nods her head slowly as she continues to read through the stack of papers. I should probably give her some space so she can process everything. Maybe I can go see Namjoon, it’s been a while since we’ve been able to just hangout. I’ll just send him a quick text to see if he’s busy. Now where did I leave my phone…. As I pick myself off of the floor every joint in my leg pops causing a sigh of relief and a groan of pain. How could something so small hurt and feel good all in the same? Shuffling against the slick floor in my socked feet, I go with my first instinct to check my bedroom. Lucky enough it’s plugged into the charger from last night. There’s a few missed calls from Jimin and Taehyung, a few dozen emails and a few texts in the group chat. Nothing too important that require my immediate attention.

Me: ‘Are you working or are you downstairs? I really need to disconnect for a while.’

It won’t surprise me if he’s at the company working on something new, he never stops working. That’s something that I admire about all of them, each and every one of the members work around the clock to make sure that they are doing their absolute best. They really are amazing role models for fans around the world.

Namjoon: ‘Come on down, I could use someone else to talk to. Just knock and someone will let you in.’

Grabbing my phone and keys, I make my way back into the living room to find Natalie sprawled out on the couch reading through everything like it has to answer to every problem in the world. Walking up to her, I knock one of her feet off of the coffee table causing her to shift slightly.

“I’ll be back in a little bit, I’m running downstairs to see Namjoon. But I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

All she manages is okay with a swift hand wave letting me know that I’m free to leave. Rolling my eyes, I shuffle into my slides on my way out the door and practically ran towards the elevator.  Even though I would hate to admit it, Natalie was onto something earlier. For the past two days I’ve been fighting a battle internally, one which I’m going to lose. I feel like an idiot for developing feelings for Jimin, one’s that are beyond friendship. Truth be told, it was inevitable. After all, I did have a fangirl crush on him in the beginning of their career. That can’t be helped though, after all most of the time all Namjoon talked about were the other members and their habits. Although they did come in handy because if I weren’t prepared to see Hobi so intense during practice I might’ve gotten seriously freaked out. His gaze is intense when you mess up the choreography, and I’m the choreographer!

But after spending one on one time with each of them, they’ve wiggled their way into my heart in a place that I didn’t know existed. I would do anything to make sure they are happy and nothing happens to them. Jimin has the biggest effect on me and that’s been noticeable since day one, the way I almost messed up on my own choreo just because he watched me more closely than I would’ve liked. Sure we’ve had our ups and downs, but we just click. It seems more natural to be around him, like I don’t really have to try and be someone else. It’s something that scares me to no end because the last thing I want is to get in too deep.

The elevator opens on their floor and I stop in my tracks at the front door. My clenched fist hovers over the door as I hear faint voices through the thick door. Seems like everyone is home tonight, so much for an adventurous day. Also if I would’ve known everyone was home I would’ve dressed a little nicer than my lazy day clothes. A loud laugh makes its way past the door and my heart does a quick thump, Jimin’s in a good mood. That’s something positive after not answering his phone calls. Sucking in a deep breath I lightly tap on the door and before I can do a third knock, the door is torn open and I’m greeted with a towering, smiling Seokjin.

“Ah y/n! Namjoon gave us a heads up.” He gestures for me to enter, which I do with a shuffle. Carefully I take off my slides and turn towards the group. The three youngest are lounging around the living room and the smell of ramen fills the air. It’s nice to see them so relaxed and natural. Nothing being forced on them. No doubt Yoongi oppa is laying down in his room, getting as much sleep as he can.

“That was considerate of him. Seems like everyone’s having a fun time. Is Namjoon in his room?” Jimin’s head pops up from his previous position on the couch and he’s expressionless for a second before we both smile at the same time. Now that Jimin’s in on Namjoon and I’s little secret he’s started to notice more subtle actions. This isn’t the first time that I’ve come down to visit and it’s become a regular thing. But now that Jimin knows and watches a little closer we’ll have to be careful.

“He’s been locked up in his room for most of the day. Something about writers block. If you’re still here when I’m making dinner, feel free to join us.” Seokjin smiles brightly with hopeful eyes that I will stay but I promised Natalie we’d eat together. Leaning against the kitchen island, I take in a deep breath as the smell warms my body. Nothing like a home cooked meal to make you feel better.

“Thank you Oppa, but I promised my sister we’d eat together.” A pout overtakes his smile and my heart instantly clenches with guilt.

“Invite her! Yoongi was complaining that his new friend was leaving anyways.” What? Quirking an eyebrow in question all I get in response is a simple shrug of the shoulders. Looks like I need to do some digging.

“We wouldn’t want to crash your dinner. Plus I’m sure that everyone is tired of seeing me.” I mean after spending 12 hours with me the past two days, I’m sure anyone would be sick of me. It’s actually surprising that Natalie hasn’t gotten fed up with me this week.

“We could never get tired of you y/n. Honestly you make things more fun, so does Natalie. If you don’t text her I’m sure JK will.” He really does know how to win, if Jungkook texts Natalie she would be here faster than lightning. There’s no winning this battle without hurting someone’s feelings. My shoulders fall in defeat as I start making my way down the hall. Sending a quick text I tell my sister to come down in a half hour.

“I’ll text her when it’s done Oppa.” I can hear his excited laugh from down the hall as I knock lightly on Namjoon’s door. Within half a knock, the door is swung open and I’m pulled into a cluttered mess. Balled up pieces of paper are littering the floor and the same soft beat is on loop, blasting from the speakers. He really is having a hard time.

Namjoon’s hair is sticking out in every which way as he makes his way over to turn the speaker down. His eyes look heavy underneath his glasses, he’s been at this for too long. Without words, I grabbed him by the shoulder and force him to take a seat in the desk chair. Luckily enough Namjoon does so and a chest filled sigh fills the silence.

“What’s going on Joon? Obviously something is bothering you.” I’m not going to beat around the bush when it’s gotten this bad. His eyes are strained, almost pained as he pinches his nose before letting the glasses fall into his lap. Both hands cover his eyes as Namjoon rubs his entire face a little too harshly, his honey skin turning slightly pink from the pressure.

“I don’t want to let everyone down.” Namjoon’s voice is heavy, my heart feels the pain behind the words as I move to squat beside his chair. My hands reaching up to pry his away from his face. The last thing Kim Namjoon will ever be able to do is let anyone down.

“Joon…. you could never let anyone down. You put too much on yourself without asking for help. Each and every one of those guys out there care about you and want to help you through whatever is going on. And if you’re worried about Army, don’t. They all know that you do your best and love you for it.” Even though I mean every word, they don’t seem to help relieve any of his worries. If anything it makes him want to question them. Sighing, I fall back on my butt and lean back on my hands. This is going to take a while.

“How can you be so sure about that? I’m the leader, it’s my responsibility to make sure everyone and everything is okay. If something goes wrong or a song comes out wrong it falls back on me. If the members are troubled, it’s my job to help them-”

“But then who helps you? It shouldn’t be all on you, BTS is a team. There are seven of you, seven to help carry the load. Every single one of you are going through something and are too afraid to ask for help or to admit it because you all try to protect each other.” I cut off Namjoon as I feel my filter start to wear thin. Namjoon has been my friend for years but over this past tour I have been able to see that each and every one of them have been pushed to their absolute limits. And the scarier thing is, they are all close to breaking.

“Staying locked away with a half made beat playing on repeat and half thought through lyrics isn’t going to help. You all need to get together and come together. For brothers, you all seem too scared to rely on each other.” I don’t mean to sound harsh but I need Namjoon to see that he doesn’t have to carry all of the weight on his shoulders. It takes all of my self control to keep myself from rounding up all of the guys and locking them in a room to talk through everything. But right now that would make matters worse for everyone involved.

The room goes eerily quiet as Namjoon sits still as a statue. Everything that I just said is processing and slowly you can see that he’s registering it all. This wasn’t my intention at all but it looks like this situation was inevitable. Lowering my gaze I look at the papers that have been tossed to the ground. Tears sting my eyes, if only everyone knew how much they were struggling to keep up the put together act. Something taps against my ankle, looking up I locked eyes with Namjoon who’s wearing a small smile.

“Thank you, y/n. I think I know what needs to happen, but it will have to wait till after the end of the year award shows.” I almost forgot that we have those to go through, good thing I’m almost done with the backup dancers. I’ve never been this busy in my life and it’s only been two almost three months.

“Namjoon, you know that you can come to me whenever things get hard. That’s what friends do.”

“Y/n, I consider us more family than friends. Afterall, you’ve been there through everything.”

We sit there for what seems like a lifetime and slowly the atmosphere starts to lighten. Leaning over I gather up all of the discarded lyrics and start to smooth out the crumbled paper. Normally Namjoon would just flip the page or make out something, so these lyrics really must’ve been something hard to write. Standing up, I place the now semi neat stack on his desk and click his laptop off.

“Now why did you need to disconnect?” I plop back down on the floor and fall down to sprawl out dramatically, my head hits the floor slightly harder than I want but I deserved it.

“BigHit offered Natalie a summer internship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud and excited for her but I’m worried that once she gets a taste of the lifestyle, she won’t want to leave. I mean all of her life this is what she’s wanted. The other day Natalie was like a child in a candy store.”

“How do you know that she won’t want to go back? She may be your little sister, but she’s not a child anymore and she’s good at what she does. No matter what happens, you have to respect whatever decision she makes.”

I hate that Namjoon is a genius.

“Because she’s literally one semester away from graduating. I don’t want her making the wrong decision on a whim. If BigHit really likes her and feels like Natalie could be an asset, then the offer will still stand in a year.”

“It’s her life y/n. If she makes the decision to leave school and follow her heart, then you have to support that. After all Natalie supported you doing the same and moving halfway around the world for this. Wouldn’t you want the same for her?”

He knows I would. There’s no way in hell that I would ever be disappointed in Natalie for choosing to come work for BigHit. This has literally been a dream of hers since she was introduced into the world of K-Pop. I just want her to be one hundred percent certain that this is what she wants. Lord knows how our father would handle another child of his leaving the country for work.

“If you’re worried about what your family would think, then don’t. After the other day we can all tell that your father is a complete piece of work. Jimin is definitely not a fan and I’m not sure how that will go over.”

There’s a look of annoyance and disdain on his face. His arms are crossed harshly over his chest as he leans back into the chair. Why would Namjoon bring up Jimin? I already knew that it was a terrible idea for my family to come backstage the moment it came out of Namjoon’s mouth but now I’m even more sure now.

“Did Jimin tell you that he came and saw me the other night?” I fumble with my words as I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Jimin told me the next morning when he was sneaking back into the dorm. Lucky for him I was the only awake at the time. But he told me that you let it slip that we’ve known each other for longer. He also promised me that he wouldn’t say anything to anyone else.”

“I told him everything without going into complete detail. Jimin looked like he wasn’t backing down unless I told him anyways. It was the only way to give him some peace of mind.”

“When I said that you and Jimin would be closer than us, I wasn’t lying. I can already tell that you two have your own secrets from us. I mean you’ve never been distracted during practice before, ever. But the past two days you’ve missed steps and looked dazed when you worked with Jimin.”

I really hate how smart and observant Namjoon is. Jumping up from my spot I look down at Namjoon, which is first considering he towers over me, and roll my eyes. I definitely have to try and hide things from him. After so many years, we can easily read each other without any context.

“Maybe I’m just nervous, afterall I don’t want to let everyone down. Come on, let’s go join everyone else in the living room. Seokjin oppa said something about dinner.”

“You know you can stop calling everyone by their full names. Jin hyung has been dying to tell you but he won’t. I think he’s actually jealous that you call jhope Hobi.” My heart twists at the statement and I nod lightly. It was only a matter of time.

As we exit the room, I can hear the laughter and conversation that’s filled the air. My sister is nestled between Yoongi and Jungkook, all trying not to laugh as they inhale their noodles. There’s only two spots empty at the large table, one between Hobi and Yoongi and the other is between Jimin and Taehyung. My eyes lock with Jimin’s who is tilting his head to the side, motioning for me to sit. Instead of arguing I find myself nestled between the two. I feel constricted in the spot despite the fact that there’s plenty of space for everyone. Mentally I keep my arms tucked in and feet crossed under my chair, trying to keep my used space minimal. From across the table I can see that both Namjoon and Natalie are giving me strange looks. Natalie already knows that it has something to do with the couch incident and silently smirks as she slurps more noodles into her mouth. Namjoon on the other hand scrunches his bows in confusion. It won’t be long before I either break down and admit what happened or he figured it out.

After dinner, which lasted well towards midnight, Natalie and I finally said our goodbyes before heading back upstairs. There’s a strange tension between the two of us, like both of us want to say something but both too scared. As we get back into the apartment, we practically avoid each other. She disappears into the bathroom to shower and I’m left just looking around the quiet space.

Natalie’s bags are packed and ready beside the front door for early in the morning, the packet sitting neatly tucked into her carry on. This week has gone by so fast, we were only able to spend last night around Seoul. There were so many things I wanted to do but work came first. Thankfully Natalie understood and chose to hangout at the company, it was helpful because she gave us all a little recharge when we started to burn out.

Absentmindedly I go out to the balcony and just look up to the sky. My mind and heart are heavier than I ever want them to be. Natalie hasn’t even agreed to BigHit’s offer but my mind is already preparing a speech for either option she choses. Also knowing that the guys are all struggling in their own ways makes me physically pained. All I want is to protect them and make sure that they never have to fight as hard as they have, but we that’s an unwinnable battle.

It’s not like any decision Natalie makes directly affects me, I just want her to be happy. At the end of the day I’ll support her and help her through whatever she choses.

But with the guys it’s harder. I have no clue how to help them. All I can do is listen and give them the little advice I have. Their life is so different than mine, I can’t imagine the battle and trials they are going through right. Especially since they are taking off around the world, making a name for themselves and introducing the world of K-Pop to so many skeptics.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, looking at the screen my heart beats a little quicker.

Jimin: ‘Are you okay? You seemed down tonight. If you need to talk, I’m here.’

Me: ‘I guess I’m upset that my sister leaves in the morning. Don’t worry about me though!’

The text bubbles pop up, then disappear a few times. It’s almost like Jimin’s trying to figure out exactly what he wants to say. I give up on waiting for a response as I make my way back inside, locking the door and turning out my lights. Natalie is sitting on the bed with her hands hold her bowed head. It seems like the week is catching up to her, from my spot I can see that she’s beyond exhausted. Next week will be hard for her to readjust to her own time zone.

Changing into my pajamas, I walk over to Natalie’s side of the bed. Her heavy eyes look up at mine and I just shake my head as I force her to lay down. Gently I pull the covers over her form and take her phone away to plug it up. Flicking the light off I blindly make my way into the bed ungracefully tripping over a shoe in the process. Natalie sighs and rolls to face the center, our eyes meeting in the dark.

“I’m going to accept the offer.”

“I figured as much. You’re good at what you do and this is a dream opportunity.”

“Y/n will you promise me something?”

“What’s that?”

“Promise me that you won’t bottle up your feelings and let them consume you. You’ve always had a habit of keeping everything hidden, to let it build until you break. I don’t want that to happen to you again. If it ever gets too much, I’m one call away.”

“I promise.”

In the dark I’m able to hide the silent tears that slide down my cheeks as I roll away towards my nightstand. My phone illuminates the room softy with a text.

Jimin: ‘I can’t help but to worry. I’m one call away if you need me.’

I guess great minds think alike. The words from both my sister and Jimin make my heart swell. This is a promise that is going to be hard to keep but I will try my hardest. Little does Natalie know that I’m already starting to bottle my feelings.

[k-llama-llama]

Wipeout Pt.4

Stray Kids AU: 10th member

Tori x Stray Kids

The end of the saga: at the hospital

A/N: Okay I need to do a little disclaimer. Firstly, this is based off my own experiences with concussions (I’ve had 6!!!).And secondly, this wasn’t meant to push forward any romantic plot. Tori’s story is not limited to romance. This is leading into the preparations for the comeback, and her just her general relationships with the SKZ family. 

I want to talk to you guys. Let me know your thoughts.

Pt.1    Pt.2    Pt.3

Requests are OPEN : I see that little thought bouncing around inside your head. Send it to me!

MASTERLIST

When they arrived at the hospital, Tori had to let go of Minho’s hand while they unloaded her stretcher from the ambulance. She was awake, but blinking blankly at everything around her. The second she was back on the ground, she started tapping her fingers, and didn’t stop until Minho had grabbed her hand.

“It’s okay. I’m right here.” The paramedics started pushing her into the building. They informed him that they were taking her up to a private room, and he quickly texted Chan and told him where to meet them.

They were led quickly through a few hallways, before reaching a room at the corner of a hall. The paramedic from the ambulance placed a hand on Minho’s shoulder. “You’ll have to wait here.”

He nodded, giving Tori’s hand a squeeze and kissing her on the forehead. “I’m right outside, okay? And Chan is on his way.”

She nodded weakly as they wheeled her away.

Once the doors closed, Minho sunk to the ground. He placed his head in his hands, trying to take deep breaths. It was still hitting him. Tori was in the hospital. Tori had a head injury. Tori had to be okay.

Footsteps echoed down the hall, and he looked up, expecting to see Chan. Instead he saw a doctor heading in to the room. He nodded politely as the man disappeared into the room.

He stared blankly at the door for a few minutes.

He heard footsteps again, but this time there were many more. The entire Stray Kids group was running down the hall. Even Felix and Hyunjin, who’d been left behind at the studio after the accident.

“What took you guys so long?” Minho asked.

“We had to go through security. There’s press outside.” Seungmin said.

“Is she okay?” Felix said weakly. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were red and he had tear tracks down his cheeks.

Minho shrugged. “The doctor just went in. The paramedic didn’t seem too worried.”

Chan moved towards the door, reaching for the handle. Minho grabbed him. “They’ll come get up when they’re ready.” He pulled Chan to the floor next to him, while the other boys took up their own spots. Hyunjin and Jeongin sat next to Minho, all of them staring at the white walls and just waiting.

“Why is it taking so long?” Chan asked. “She’s okay, so why is it taking so long?”

Hyunjin took a shaky breath. “They’re...they’re probably just being thorough.”

Chan kicked at the ground. “What happened? She was supposed to be careful.”

Felix swallowed. “It was my fault. I dropped her.”

“It was an accident.” Minho insisted. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Who cares who’s fault it is? Tori is in there and we aren’t!” Jeongin exclaimed.

As if on cue, the door opened. A nurse stepped into the hall. “Oh my. There’s a lot of you. I don’t...” She took a look at their desperate faces. “Be quiet and come in. I think the doctor is going to speak to you.”

They filed in. They were all timid, tip-toeing to the bed. Tori was asleep, with a little monitor taped to her forehead. They all stayed back, except for Jeongin, who grabbed her hand and glared at the doctor when he looked like he might correct him.

“Here is the situation..” The doctor looked at them all, looking exasperated. “Who is the guardian?”

Chan stepped forward. “I am. Is she going to be okay?”

The doctor nodded. “Yes.” A collective sigh of relief filled the room. “By some miracle, we don’t think it caused a more severe concussion, it just agitated the one she already had.”

Felix took a shuddering breath. Changbin wrapped his arms around him. “And what does that mean?”

Woojin nodded. “Are there any potential risks?”

The doctor tilted his head. “We want to monitor her overnight. Just to be safe. She fell asleep about halfway through the examination. And she’ll have to take it easy for a while. But, other than headaches, I don’t see any reason to be overly concerned.”

“So..”Chan began. “Can we stay with her overnight?”

“There are a lot of you..” The doctor said.

“We’re so quiet!” Changbin insisted.

“You won’t even know that we’re here!” Seungmin promised.

“Please.” Jisung whispered. “Please just let us stay with her.”

The doctor relented. “Fine. But if I feel like you’re disturbing her, you’re out.”

They all nodded. The doctor left, assuring them that someone would be in to check on her every hour.

Chan was breathing very heavily. Minho looked around the room; there weren’t enough chairs for everyone. He grabbed Chan’s arm. “We should go get more chairs.”

The leader followed without complaint.

The second the door closed behind them, Chan broke down. Minho didn’t know if it was because he was all cried out or what, but somehow he was able to keep it together as he pulled his leader into a hug.

“It’s okay, Chan. She’s going to be okay.”

Chan choked on a sob. “I know. I know but...”

“But what?” Minho asked, rubbing his back.

“But all I could think about was that she was hurt. That she was hurt somewhere and I wasn’t there and I should’ve kept a better eye on her. I knew she still had a concussion and I wasn’t careful.” He sobbed.

“I know. But it was an accident, Chan. She’s going to be okay. And if I know Tori, she would hate it if any of us blamed ourselves.”

Chan nodded shakily. “I know.”

“Okay.” Minho said. “So we are going to grab some chairs, and then we are going to go sit with her until she wakes up. And we’re going to be happy, and we’re going to make her feel better.”

Chan took a deep breath. “Let’s do this.”

They returned to the room, dragging two chairs each behind them. They spread out in the room, making sure everyone had a place to sit. Chan did his best to give every boy a reassuring smile as he did.

Most of them smiled back.

Felix didn’t.

He wasn’t crying, which was usually a good sign. But he was staring at Tori’s sleeping form with a level of focus that could only be considered concerning. After about a half hour of awkward chatter and general silence, Changbin had had enough.

“C’mon.” He grabbed Felix’s wrist. “We’re going to get food. Anyone want to come?”

Woojin stood slowly. “I’ll go. We’ll bring stuff back.”

The three of them left the room, hoping that food and a walk would shake Felix out of whatever dark place he was in.

Chan sat on Tori’s other side, choosing not to hold her hand like Jeongin was, but rather to play with the strands of her hair that were spread out on the pillow. Hyunjin had pulled a chair up to the foot of the bed, and was on his phone, trying to get a handle on what they were going to do. JYP was already trying to release an official statement, and their managers were on their way. He was just trying to make sure that nothing was getting out that Tori wouldn’t want.

Minho paced in the corner, biting his nails.

When the boys came back to the room, they were hiding Macdonald’s bags in their jackets.

“We’re not supposed to have food up here.” Woojin explained as he handed Minho a burger. Minho didn’t even open it, he just held it in his hands.

Chan smiled kindly as he took his cheeseburger. Diets aside, they were stressed. And burgers were always good for stress.

Tori took a sudden gasping breath, her eyes shooting open.

“Tori!” Jeongin exclaimed.

“What’s wrong? Does something hurt?” Chan asked, standing and reaching for the call button.

“I smell french fries.” 

“What?”

Tori sniffed slowly. “And burgers. Did you guys bring food?”

Hyunjin came closer, sitting next to Tori. “Tori, you’re in the hospital. You fell and hit your head. Do you remember?”

She nodded. “Vaguely. I was talking to the doctor before I fell asleep. Is it bad?” She asked nervously.

Chan shook his head. “Lots of rest. Dark rooms. No noise. And we’re wrapping you in bubble wrap.”

“Okay. Can I have a bite?” She gestured to Chan’s burger.

He pulled it back. “I don’t know if you’re supposed to eat.”

She pouted. “You can’t say no to the girl with a concussion. That’s literally a hate crime.”

“Here.” Felix said. He hadn’t said anything, just hovering by the bed. He offered her half of his burger. She winced as she tried to sit up, and Chan and Jeongin carefully helped her prop herself up.

She dug into the burger, before looking up at Felix. She licked some ketchup off her lips. “Felix? Why do you look so sad? Is there something no one is telling me? Am I going to die? Will this be my last meal?”

“No!” Minho came forward, gesturing for her to calm down. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Then why does Felix look so sad?” She looked back at the boy, reaching out for his hand. He gave it to her, more out of habit than anything. “Why are you sad?”

He sniffled. “It’s my fault. I dropped you.”

“What?” She said. “No, come here.” She pulled him around the side of the bed and made him sit right next to her, practically in her lap. She wrapped her arms around him. “It was an accident. We were just having fun.”

He sniffled again. “I still should’ve been careful.”

“I shouldn’t have been dancing in the first place. It was all a mistake, but it’s over now.” She promised, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Suddenly she looked at Chan in alarm. “What about the comeback? Am I still allowed to do it.”

Chan bit his lip. “I don’t want you to get hurt. And you need rest.”

“But Chan...”She gasped.

“The songs are mostly recorded. And she choreographed everything.” Seungmin offered.

Minho nodded. “And she can consult while we finish the last choreo. There’s still a few weeks till the comeback. She can rest.”

Chan nodded slowly. “We’ll talk to the doctor, but we aren’t having our first comeback without you.”

She reached out a hand for him, even though she was still wrapped around Felix. 

Chan gave her a scolding look. “Lots of rest. You’re going to get headaches, and you’re going to take the pills you need to take. And you’re going to rest when you need rest. And you are not even allowed to walk up a flight of stairs without someone holding on to you.”

She laughed slightly. “Overprotective much?” But when she was met with equally stern looks from Hyunjin and Minho, she nodded. “Fine.”

She tried to settle back into her pillows. Jeongin fluffed them up for her and tucked the thin hospital blankets around her. “See, noona. It’s not so bad letting us help you.”

She nodded tiredly and closed her eyes. “Fine. But the second one of you tries to follow me into the bathroom I’m going to scream.”

Chan rolled his eyes. “The bubble wrap is still an option.

[the-guccidamn]

a decade; an entry.

it’s december 31st and weirdly enough, i just want to cry. over what? i have no idea, i am still trying to figure out. maybe because it’s not only the year ending, but a whole ass decade. maybe because exo is having a concert right now and i stopped streaming because i am afraid it might really be their last. maybe because the holidays, in general, are making me upset. i don’t know, i just feel upset.

but i wanted to do a recap just for the sake of it. scratch that, tbh i am just one of those sentimental human beings who love going back and remembering. 

so here goes.

2010

graduated elementary with flying colors. valedictorian. i remember being just so eager to learn, to be the best, to achieve and achieve and achieve things - as many as i can. i remember entering high school and being blown away by the presence of new people. high school made things more interesting - socially. i belonged to squads. i had legit crushes that turned into heartbreaks (or so i thought back then). high school drama was also prominent, was it even high school without it? everything was just so new, refreshing, interesting and there i was still trying to be on top of it - in a good way. or not. i tried to blend in, to belong, whilst aiming for that first honor medal. this was also the year i cried for the first time because i was not able to attend a damn concert. i hate u justin bieber for making me feel distraught that day in may. i also hate the fact that i did not know it was going to be our last annual family outing. corregidor was still a place to revisit though, thanks to the history attached to it - no, i don’t think i liked their beach very much.

2011

a continuation of the eager version of me. you know this year might have been my calmest and chillest year had it not been for the fact that my family’s life turned upside down. my dad got diagnosed with cancer and well, you can say nothing has been the same ever since. it wasn’t until i am typing this that i realized how traumatic that year was. sudden visits to the hospitals. me being on edge all the time. me trying to be the same eager vane who wants to achieve as many as she can to make her parents proud, while trying to hide the fact that she is so so SO SCARED of what might happen. looking back, i tried so hard to busy myself with academics, with friends, just so i wouldn’t have to dwell with my family’s current situation. home made me so stressed - emotionally and mentally, but i couldn’t just run away because i knew back then that it would be such a waste of time and energy and just - i did not wanna regret anything. it was also the year when i sprained my ankle during sparring. we took Taekwondo classes - would have been a black belter or somewhere close to that if we continued it though, i mean maybe.

2012

the inevitable happened. 5 became 4. and i don’t know. to be honest, i am currently contemplating whether or not i have cried enough during that year, or even allowed myself enough time needed to just feel the pain because i don’t think it has healed yet. or will it ever be healed? does time really heal all wounds, or does it just make them more tolerable? it is pathetic but i can trace everything that i have been hurting about lately to this year alone. my heart literally breaks every now and then, and every now and then i try so hard to mend it because who wants to live the rest of their lives with a shattered heart? goodness me. i spent the summer of it acting though, and preparing for my first ever musical appearance. the workshop was satisfying as i got compliments for my acting. little did they know that every day i attended it was me already acting out that i was, in fact, okay and not on the verge of crying. it’s funny because 2012 was also the year when a huge turn point of my whole identity happened. it was during the time when i was tolerating the pain of having my wisdom teeth removed, and out of boredom i searched One Direction on Youtube - the rest was history. One Direction literally became my savers, distraction, whatever you can call it. It was unhealthy, in some part, yes, but at least I do not feel devastated, at loss, sui***al. It was such a big change. I am still the eager vane who tried to achieve and achieve but now a new reason was added, it’s to be worthy of asking a concert ticket just in case 1d decided to pay Manila a visit. I was such a sucker for them. it was when i discovered stan twitter, new people who are also “like me”, exposed to new cultures, time differences, the fangirl culture - oh the fan parties what fun. I hated and loved niall, louis, liam, zayn and harry (OH HARRY) at the same time. along with my fangirl awakening, 2012 was the year when i attended my first ever concert. it was of the jonas brothers. i won the ticket through twitter out of sheer desperation (i even skipped school because i was just so upset at the thought of not going) and then there i was. found myself inside moa arena, alone, in lowerbox. and when when you looked me in the eyes played, a wave of feelings hit me. i felt at home. the moment, i left the arena, there was a newly discovered need of attending concerts inside me already. i also got braces this year.

2013

if this was the peak of 1d, this was the peak of my high school life i guess. or was it because i was in my fourth year? nonetheless, i remember just feeling so high that year. figuratively. i was so busy with academics and fangirling i had no time to feel low. do you get what i am saying? it was sort of the year where everything in my life is fitting into places. i really busied myself with trying to achieve as many as i can because i wanted to be the class valedictorian. i joined the interschool youth month event - there’s a fake council meeting we had back then, and i remember feeling so giddy that they picked my proposal. i also made friends with the people i met there. i had felt accomplished when i was able to write and finish a script for a play - which i also directed, and played in. i felt so so sooo proud of myself for performing a monologue during the talent contest of the most outstanding student of muntinlupa, and even more so when i learned i placed 12th. i felt so accomplished for being the student council’s president, for contributing to the choreo of our cheerdance, for winning the field demonstration, for having lots of hohol with friends, for getting a passing score during the mock UPCAT, and even more so for passing UPCAT, and even UST (damn you, Ateneo). 2013 made me feel i had everything figured out.

2014

Assumption College - man, I did not expect to end here. an all girls’ school, really? but it’s still a prestigious one so...... i hated myself for not pursuing UST or UPLB. talk about culture shock, this was what this year was all about. it’s a blur now, honestly. i remembered just trying so hard to belong again. i tried to blend in to the elite girls there - whilst sticking to my identity. i did not join any clubs, although i wanted to, because as an academic scholar, i had to see if i would be able to balance them out if ever. but i also remember trying to fulfill my uaap dreams - it was the year i became so obsessed with uaap men’s basketball (hello, von pessumal), i went to real games (thank u sweet anne and vhon) and i event went to the cheerdance competition. and it did not happen again lol. 2014 was just the year of frosh vane and everyone in college being surprised that i do well academically.

2015

now this is a pretty interesting year. would i like to relive it? 95% yes. the 5% is because this was the year zayn left 1d, broke my heart and had me healing it for 4 months. anyway, to start, i attended two concerts this year. 1st was The Vamps - this was just impulsive. i liked them but did not really stan. now idk the main reason why i pushed myself so hard to find a gen-ad ticket for their show - but hey their music was my jam back then, also i learned that gen-ad was for desperate people only because it was so high my acrophobia was shaking so there you go. i attended Graphika as well that year - i was enlightened of what my program could do, guess it was the start of falling in “like” for my program which i also chose impulsively. the second concert was the one and only, of One Direction. BEST DAY STILL. ONE FOR THE BOOKS. AN ACTUAL CONCERT I WAITED FOR. I REMEMBER HOW HAPPY I FELT THAT DAY DESPITE THE SHITTY EXPERIENCE OF LINING UP UNDER THE SUN FOR 11 HOURS (little did i know it was nothing compared to what i would be doing now). BUT MY GOODNESS, SEEING THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME LIVE, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ONLY FOUR, WAS ENOUGH. I FELT SO HIGH AND JUST GENUINELY HAPPY I WAS SCREAMING AND CRYING THAT NIGHT. I LOVE ONE DIRECTION 5EVER. I FELT SO LOVED BACK THEN IDK EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED BUT I JUST DID AND I ALSO REMEMBER NOT WANTING TO LEAVE THE CONCERT GROUNDS AND NOT WANTING IT TO END. but zayn left, 4 days later. man, it felt like a real breakup, and i did not even have a boyfriend so. thankfully, my school went through an academic calendar shift meaning we had 4 months of vacation so i was able to mend it during that time and enjoyed watching tons and tons of movies and series. also, my family was able to go to Baguio after so many years, there’s that. anyway i went back to school with a newly appreciation and knowledge for films whilst sporting my new short hair look. the first semester of my sophomore year was a blast - i felt like a real communication arts student for the first time. we spent our days editing, shooting, script writing, acting, concept making, IT WAS FUN AND I LOVED IT SO SO SO MUCH. even more so when my pieces got compliments and praises from my professors, i was so pleased with myself. the second half of 2015 was me putting a twist to my college life. i joined a club, and not just any club, i joined the school’s dance company. hip-hop team. with a legit coach (no pun intended). and dare i say it was life changing? i learned a lot since then. values that only a dedicated student-athlete can understand. looking back, auditioning for tadc (no matter how scary it went) was an A+ decision. i would audition again tbvh. it opened me to a new community and experiences not everyone has the privilege to have. trainings may have been tough but the bliss you feel after every successful run was enough to keep going. 

2016

I TURNED 18. it was the year i had my jade west phase. i had no regrets. it was the year when i had my first ever dance competition - we lost 1st place though, but it was motivation for me to not leave the group and continue to strive for the better. 2016 WAS THE YEAR FOR FANGIRL VANE. I SAW 5 SECONDS OF SUMMER. LIVE. IT WAS AS AMAZING AS EVER. after camping out for the first time just for the sake of buying a ticket with soundcheck inclusions, did not buy it myself though because i had a performance at the same time, I FINALLY GOT TO BE IN THE VIP MOSHPIT OF THE BAND I LOVE THE MOST. IT WAS A THRILLING ROLLERCOASTER NIGHT. I DANCED SO HARD. CRIED BECAUSE THE SONGS BROUGHT SO MUCH MEMORIES. FREAKED OUT BECAUSE LUKE MY BOYFRIEND HEMMINGS WAS JUST AN ARM AWAY. I ALSO GOT MICHAEL’S GUITAR PICK. I CAN SAFELY SAY I WON THAT DAY. I WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. 2016 was when i really busied myself in dancing. my first crissa competition and let me tell you how fulfilling it was to compete with top schools and perform on the same stage as them. who could have thought i would be performing at the big dome, right? it’s really just me and my growth as a dancer for 2016. oh and my slowly coming back to the kdrama/kpop world.

2017

EXO. THE PLOT TWIST OF MY 2017. the moment i impulsively attended THE EXORDIUM IN MANILA, i was in it for life. it was 1d all over again. I SPENT DAYS FANGIRLING, KEEPING UP, WATCHING FANCAMS AND VIDEOS. READING SEKAI FICS. ACTUALLY BUYING ALBUMS AND MERCH. AND WOW JUST A NEW FANDOM CULTURE TO LEARN AND DROWN MYSELF IN. EXO was meant to be though, knew it when i danced to Growl back in 2013 but never did i think i would be in it SOOOOO DEEP. THE IMPULSIVE DECISION TO ATTEND THEIR CONCERT WAS SO WORTH IT. I FELT SO SO SO HIGH AGAIN AND ANOTHER KIND OF BONAFIDE HAPPINESS. i am thankful to have found another distraction/motivation especially when things are getting hard in school. campaigns here, campaigns there. and thesis. stupid thesis. it’s really that thing in school that will make you cry. 2017 was also my last academic year. my senior year in college. and it changed a lot in school especially when you are part of organizations, it gets busier than ever, more schedules, you cannot keep up. i cannot believe i was able to balance thesis, academics and tadc especially on the last quarter of the year. had to study, submit requirements, train endlessly, at the same time i was honestly going insane. HOWEVER, TADC CAME IN 4TH PLACE DURING CRISSA FINALS with a team consisted of half rookies HU TO THE RRAH. I also became more committed to the team than ever :( i never expected it but i guess such things happen when you actually do like what you are doing. coach vimi also acknowledged me a lot this year :( i felt so pleased again.

2018

i really don’t wanna remember this year. after graduation, my mental health dropped to an all time low. i was paranoid, insane, anxious. it was the start. i also got an appendicitis and underwent appendectomy this year. but hey, on december i got a stable job at a well-known accounting firm (uh, what? right). earlier during this year though, i saw exo again for the 2nd time. it was bittersweet, i swore to do better for the next tour. and yes, for all it’s worth, for all those times i strived so hard to get an uno whilst being surrounded by org commitments and pagod na ako moods, i graduated magna cum laude from assumption college. still, a win for me. oh and 2018, i finally got my braces off.

2019

here it is, the last year year of this decade. what can i say? to be honest, it was just me holding my mental health in. there were worst days, but there were also the best days. best days include me lining up for 30 hours for an exo ticket (with camila, and surprisingly, my mom). it ended up with me feeling blessed and grateful, and my heart full. of course, there’s the concert itself. seeing exo for the third time doesn’t really feel different compared to the first time i saw them last 2017. they were down 3 members yes, but i still felt so happy to share that moment with them. that’s when i knew i was really in it for life. best days also include me accomplishing my tasks in my work with flourish, getting compliments from my boss. oh and it also includes the outings i had with my family. went to the beach twice this year - first in batangas, second in pagudpud. cried in batangas because it has really been so long and beaches remind me of the good old times. in ilocos, it went well, i am glad we got to see that despite our situation, outings like this are still possible. i am so glad to say, or rather write, that i am ending this year and this decade, with a calm heart. i am happy, as happy as i can be this year. we had a pleasant staycation during Christmas. and i finally handed in my resignation, plus i got to have 2 weeks off thanks to my approved VL. exo made me cry though :( i hope to see them still next year.

for 2020, and for the next decade, i hope to be happy. the genuine happy. i pray that my family would be healthy, stress-free and happy, and complete. i pray that everything will go well with my new job. i pray that i will be able to do more outings with my family (even internationally, please). as for the little things, i hope i can fix my back problems, i hope i can continue to write (even just sekai fics), i hope i can visit south korea for an exo concert, i hope i can attend more concerts, i hope for the little things that will make me happy. i hope nothing more but a healthy and bounty new year and decade for me, my family, my relatives, and my friends, especially to those who cared. i will also include the people who need it the most, and this country as well, because i just can’t stand seeing people have less while some have more. anyway, cheers.

[captainvictoryboat]

Behind The Scenes 3 (21/21)

Author’s note: I just had to post this already. I am getting so much anxiety over this. I really want to know what you all think. Honestly, any feedback or reaction i get helps me filter my plans for bts 4 and talking to you all ready gets my mind flowing. I am really going to need some feedback because idk. Shit goes down. Sorry for any errors.

Genre: angsty/ fluff?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? (Jungkook) [HONESTLY I AM ALLOWED TO USE FLUFF ANYMORE WHEN TALKING ABOUT JUNGKOOKG?!?!?!?!?!?!]

Word Count: 4466

City: Seoul 2nd concert

Summary: Honesty, some shit goes down. that is the only way i can summarize this.

WARNINGS: a bit of physical abuse, kinda graphic descriptions of torture, murder

Other parts: HERE

This is my GIF. I made it based off of this scenario series.

You were woken up in a rather aggressive fashion. With a kick to the ribs you knew exactly who woke you up. You looked up at Rap monster who was staring down at you. “Make breakfast” he ordered.

With you left arm gripping your soon to be bruised ribs, you used your other arm to get yourself off the floor and shuffled to the kitchen. Like before the tour, you began preparing the ingredients as Rap monster’s eyes followed your every move.

You didn’t turn away from the food as you heard one of the bedroom doors open followed by the sound of someone dragging their feet. The steps got closer until you felt a presence behind you, his body gently coming up against yours. A hand reached past you and grabbed the coffee grounds off the shelf above you. “Morning.” A groggy voice whispered as quietly as possible and instantly you hated yourself

“It looks like someone doesn’t know the concept of personal space.” Rap monster said casually.

As he got a pot of coffee set up, Suga said. “Yeah and it looks like someone still doesn’t know the concept of minding their own fucking business!” He grumbled harshly as his eyes glided over to Rap monster.

To your surprise, Rap monster stayed calm. You couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or not. “What are you doing up this early?” Rap monster asked.

Suga leaned back on the counter, still close to you. “Going to the studio.” Still there was a hint of attitude in his voice.

“Are you really?” Rap monster mumbled. “…How are things coming along?”

“Things are coming along and that’s what matters!” Suga spat

Rap monster’s face remained expressionless. “Better be done on time, we got the choreo to work on.”

“If you stop stressing me over it then maybe I will finish sooner!” Suga raised his voice some more.

“Yoongi stop!” you tried to whisper.

Suddenly Rap monster slammed his phone on the table. “You better watch the fucking mouth of yours or else!”

“What we talkin’ about?” Jungkook’s muffled voice asked.

You all turned to the hall to see Jungkook with his signature bedhead look and his mouth foaming over with toothpaste as he brushed his teeth.

“Nothing.” Suga griped, he was already annoyed by the maknae’s presence.

Jungkook hobbled around the kitchen until he reached the sink and spit out the tooth paste that collected in his mouth.

“Jungkook are you serious?!?” you scowled over the fact that he almost spat on the food that you were rinsing in the sink.

“What?!? A sink is a sink! It’s not like I got it on the food.” he reasoned.

Suga poured coffee into his mug. “Dude! You have a fucking bathroom in your fucking room! What are you even fucking doing here?!?”

“What does it look like?!? I’m brushing my teeth! You stupid di-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Rap monster shouted. “Jungkook go to your fucking bathroom, Y/n that ass of yours better have my food done in the next ten minutes and Yoongi, plain shut the fuck up!”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and went back to his room while Suga took a sip of his coffee.

Thankfully, everyone else woke up and gathered themselves into the kitchen without any other confrontations. After everyone had breakfast, you did your duty of gathering the plates and that was when Rap monster spoke up again. “Ok guys, for today, we all have to be ready to go at 5… Y/n!”

In a panic, you quickly tossed the plates onto the counter. “Y-yes?”

“You are coming along tonight. Wear something nice because there is going to be cameras everywhere.”

You nodded obediently.

“There is some business I have to attend to right now. Tae is coming with me… so is Jungkook, so Jin, you are in charge of y/n.”

Jungkook shot up in his seat. “What? I’m going?!?” he was almost excited.

Jin rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

Rap monster turned to Jungkook. “If you aren’t ready in the next three minutes you won’t get another chance.”

Jungkook gave you a quickly side glance before he jumped out of his seat and sped off to his room. Within literally two minutes he came back out all ready to go.

“Let’s go.” Rap monster said.

Jungkook trailed behind the other two avoiding your eyes.

“Looks like no date for Y/n” Suga said with almost cheerfully. “Ya, come with me to the studio?” He asked, helping you gather the dishes.

“Oh! That’ll be perfect!” Jimin chimed. “That is a great way to keep you out of the dorm!”

Suga raised an eyebrow at Jimin, pretending not to know why Jimin was so excited. “Yeah… Well, its settled, you’re coming with me” he smiled.

“No she isn’t!” Jin stated. “You all heard Namjoon, she isn’t leaving.”

“He didn’t say that. He just said that you had to keep an eye on her. She’ll be with Yoongi, so she will be fine.” Jimin reasoned.

“Nope, not gonna happen.”

“We’ll be back in time.” Suga argued.

“No.”

“Just let her go man!” Jhope whined.

“No!”

Jimin sighed. “C’mon dude! Fuck, I’ll pack all your shit if you let Y/n go out!” He proposed.

Jin had enough and pounced on Jimin, “I said no! I am no risking losing my time with Jinjin over her!”

“Ok ok fine.” Jimin squeaked

Jin’s eyes landed on you. “Y/n, you don’t take one fucking step out of this dorm!”

“Don’t worry I won’t.” You peeped

Jin let out a groan of frustration as his eyes scanned the four of you. “For the rest of you, I don’t care what you do, just be back on time. Now, if you need me, I’ll be in my room packing for tomorrow.” He said before he disappeared down the hall.

“Ugh, well I guess I’ll just go then.” Suga groaned. “Bye guys.” He said as he gave your shoulder a squeeze.

“Wait up! I want to go too!” Jhope screamed behind him. “Bye y/n, bye Jimin!”

You were sad he was going to leave too, but you noticed he left without going back for his pills, so it made sense to you why he was leaving.

“Well it looks like my surprised is ruined.” Jimin pouted from his seat at the table.

And like that you were alone with Jimin. You couldn’t get yourself to look in his direction. Just hearing how disappointed he was over something meant for you made you feel horrible. But you had to fake something. You had to keep up what you could until you could break up with Jungkook and be guilt free (or at less guilt free as your conscious would allow you). “Well what was the surprise?” you asked as casually as possible.

“It was-“ He jumped up coming to a realization. “You know what? You stay here and like clean or whatever! Don’t come to our room for the next hour!” he said as he ran back to your room.

JK POV

Jungkook followed Rap monster and V into the abandoned building he had been into only once before. His inside flipped because he knew there was only one reason they were here, there was only one purpose that Rap monster had such a place.

Jungkook stood alongside his two hyungs, they were now in the basement of the building that reeked of blood and other unmentionable odors, staring at a man tied to a chair.

The man in the chair had to have been tied up for a while, the dried blood on him made it obvious. Based on his shallow breathing there had to have been something stuffed in his mouth that was kept in place by the crusty band of duct tape that was wrapped around his face. The man was blindfolded, but “lucky” for him, his ears weren’t covered.

Jungkook knew the man was only quiet so that he could hear where they were and what they were saying.  Following Rap monster’s moves, Jungkook moved closer to the tied man and he could see that the damaged done was worse than he thought.

There were cigar burns that accented the gash in his ribs. There was bruising around his neck. Patches of his hair had been pulled out and pieces of his ear had been torn off. There were lashes to his hands that were still fresh and there was blood dripping to the floor. Lastly, was missing both pinkies and the index finger on his left hand.

“Why do people have to be so stubborn?” Jungkook thought as he looked at the man with pity. “I thought this was going to be a deal, not this crap!” He hissed at V

“Me too! He never does shit like this before concerts, you know that!”

Rap monster broke from the trio and went right up to the tortured man. He went up close, taking a good look and what was left behind for him. “Well, it looks like my boys had some fun while I was gone.” He smirked

The man’s hands trembled feeling the demonic presence near him. Muffles came from him and without warning, Rap monster ripped the duct tape off his face. A scream escaped the man before a bloodied sock rolled out of his mouth, revealing a set of broken teeth. He gasped for air as he said, “L-let m-m-me go. P-please!”

“I would if I could buddy, but the thing is, I still don’t have any of the money you owe me.” Rap monster said playfully. “You know, it really hurts being cheated like this and by my favorite customer no less.” The more playful his tone, the more terrifying he was.

Rap monster moved away from him and his long legs carried him to the back of the room where a wall of weapons waited for him. His fingers danced over the death toys before picking up and loading his favorite revolver.

“I-I-I t-told them! I-I don’t have the money yet!” the man cried

With the gun in his hand, rap monster went back up to the tied man. He crouched to be at eye level with him, even though the other was still blindfolded. “Why do you keep lying to me Nam?” he asked softly

“I’m not-“

The butt of the revolver slammed into Nam’s temple. “I know you are fucking lying!” He grabbed Nam but what used to be a shirt and began shaking him violently. “You think I haven’t kept my eye on you?!? Did you think I wasn’t going to notice the new car or your daughter’s plastic surgery or that house in Busan?!?” He lifted Nam’s face up and shoved the barrel of the gun into his mouth. All Nam could do was gag as tears streamed from under his blindfold.

“I gave you three months to pay me back you fat fuck! I am going to get my money’s worth one way or another!” Rap monster’s head whipped around to V. “Tae, go get Nam’s surprise from the other room.”

Jungkook stood anxiously as V did as told and left his side. In the meantime, there was only gagging sounds that filled the room as Rap monster stared down at him.

Eventually the door busted open and V walked in dragging blindfolded girl behind him. Like the man was before, the girl also had her mouth taped over. The parts of her exposed face were bruised and cut up, but her school uniform was still intact. V brought her up a few feet in front of Nam and waited for his next order.

“Tae, take the tape off.”

As carefully as he could, V took the tape off the distraught girl.

“Where am I? Where-“

“Jisu?!? Jisu, sweetheart?!?” Nam recognized the teen’s voice immediately.

“Dad?!? Dad where am I?!? Daddy, they said they had you, that all I had to do was come pick you up, but then they took me!” she whimpered. She tried to break from V’s grasp and follow the direction of her father’s voice, but it was no use.

Jungkook could see how torn V was over this. His face was blank for the most part, but it was his eyes that held the pain.

Rap monster lifted Nam’s blindfold off and allowed him to get a glimpse of his daughter. “Jisu! Oh Jisu! Don’t worry! I will take-“

The blast of the revolver boomed through the basement and the man watched in horror as his daughter’s now limp body feel to the ground.

“Ji… Jisu… Jisu!” He already couldn’t control his breathing. “Jisu! No! My baby! Jisu!” He screamed so hard that his voice was giving out. “No! You bastard! You fucking bastard!” his attempts to run to his daughter failed on the count that he was still tied to the chair that was bolted to the floor.

Rap monster made his way back to Jungkook as Nam expressed his emotions in the form of sobs, shouts, and curses.

“Now maknae” Rap monster said with a twisted sparkle in his eye. “Be a good boy and finish him off for me. If you do, you keep the bitch’s car, if not, then you’ll definitely regret it.” He placed the warm revolver in his limp hand.

Jungkook forgot what it was like to hold a gun. It was such a foreign concept to him now. Best and worst of all, he forgot what it was like to kill a person. He didn’t know how he did it before, to be so cold, because now he was scared. He wanted to cry as badly as the man in the chair. He just wanted to go back to y/n and feel normal again.

Rap monster moved over to V “Remind the others that I wanted the Busan house burnt to the ground, I don’t care who is inside. I’ll wait for you guys in the van.” he said before he walked out of the room.

Jungkook turned over to his friend, but V was already walking out the room to follow through with his orders. The gun was heavy in his hands, he barely had the strength to keep his fingers laced around it.

“Please don’t kill me.” The man wept. “I’ll get the money, just please don’t do this.”

Jungkook knew better than to say anything to him. Exchanging words would make this much harder.

“He deserves this.” Jungkook thought. “This guy knew what he was getting into. He knew the type of person he was dealing with. If he really cared about his family, he would have paid Namjoon back.” Jungkook told himself what he could to follow through with all this. His arm raised itself and aimed the gun at his defenseless target. The man’s pleads became more desperate, but he blocked the voice out. “Look at him. He is on the verge of death anyway. There was no way he can live normally after this.” His thumb cocked the gun and a new bullet was ready to go. “I don’t want to do this… but it is either him or me.” He pulled the trigger and again the echo boomed through the room. “and I choose me.”

-

He was in a daze as he drove back to the dorm in the car of a dead girl. What he had done didn’t feel right. It was weird, it wasn’t the first time he did something like that, neither was it V’s, but now things were different for some reason. He was feeling a rainbow of depressed emotions all at once, but also nothing at all at the same time. “Shock” was probably the only word to describe it, but then again, he didn’t feel that was the right word.

Now parked in front of the dorm, he looked down at the small dark box that sat in his palm. It was a new task that Rap monster suddenly assigned him and he had no idea why. He knew that what was inside the tiny box was going to change everything, and he couldn’t get himself to think of his leader’s motives behind it. This task wasn’t going to be a hard one in theory, but in a few hours it would prove otherwise. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had day dreamed of doing this before, but the fact that Rap monster was going to make him do it, and tonight no less, was the most confusing part.

As soon as he saw V escorting Y/n to the car, he shoved the small box into his jacket pocket and the turned the heater up some more. Just seeing y/n innocently waddle her way to the car lightened his spirit and he hoped that she would be able to get his mind off everything.

She had a subtle frown on her face as she buckled herself in.

“Hey baby.” He leaned in for a kiss, but her gloved and stopped him.

“We are right behind the van, they might see us.” she said blankly.

“Oh yeah, that’s true.” He saw the group van pull out. He used one hand to drive and his other reached for y/n’s hand.

As soon as she felt his fingers, she pulled her hand away. “There is ice on the road, use both hands to drive.”

“You make a good point.” He mumbled.

The air between them was stale, he sensed it. “Is she mad cuz we didn’t go out?… Did Tae tell her what happened, what I did?!? Is she upset over last night? She is mad at me for that. I know it for sure. I’m a piece of shit. I scared her…”

Y/n kept her eyes looking out the window and she had her arms crossed tightly across her chest.

He tried to think of a subtle way to bring up the topic of what happened the night before. “Sorry, I bailed on you this morning… I kinda couldn’t say no-

“Where did this car come from?” she interrupted.

At her question, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of panic, the events from earlier flooded into his mind again. “Uh, what?”

“This car, where did it come from?” Her voice was stern and unnerving and he felt even worse.

“Oh, uh, Namjoon received it as payment…” he knew better that to tell her anything else.

“So why are we driving around in it?”

“Beeeeeecause, um, he said he wanted us to look more couple like.”

“This shit is stupid! There is no point for me to tag along. What does he have up that sleeve of his that I have to come? He is just gonna keep me locked up backstage, won’t he? I am better off being locked in my room!”

He knew exactly why she was coming but he decided to avoid that question. “Ya jagi, don’t talk like that. I prefer you be with us. I don’t like you being locked in the room.” he kept his voice soft as he spoke. She probably had a million theories going through her mind right now. Again, he reached for her hand, but again, she pulled away.

“Shut up, I could be fucking sleeping right now! And I wouldn’t be sleepy if someone hadn’t taken me out of my room!”

“I just missed you, that’s all!”

She scoffed at him, “Yeah right!”

“What? It’s true!”

“Whatever!”

“It is! Fuck it, I just won’t do it anymore!”

“Good!”

His heart sank. Now that they were back in Seoul and they would soon get started on another hectic schedule, nights would have been their only time together.

Y/N POV

Your day had been filled with you being stuck in the dorm with Jimin. His surprise to you had been moving all your clothes into his closet and your shoes onto his shoe rack so that you didn’t have to live out of your trash bags. Of course, the task proved too tiring for him, and you ended up helping him halfway through. It was a heartfelt gesture indeed and it was something that only made you feel like a worse human being.

Most of his words to you during the task went in one ear and out the other as you thought of ways to break things off with Jungkook. You just needed a reason why. Jungkook was a good guy, actually a great guy, and the last thing you wanted to do was feel like more of an asshole by cutting things off so suddenly.

By the time the rest of the guys arrived you were both mentally and physically exhausted. The last thing you wanted to do was go anywhere.

The cold was no help to your attitude and you couldn’t help but be somewhat of a bitch to Jungkook, who was just as clingy as the night before. Part of you didn’t really feel bad about being so harsh with him though. You no longer felt comfortable with him in “that way”. You literally needed some space from him or you were going to explode.

Once backstage, you nestled into the couch and before you knew it, you were asleep.

-

Your beautiful sleep was once again interrupted. It was an action you were beginning to despise. You opened your eyes and were rather surprised to see a sweaty V throwing an exhausted smile at you.

“What now?” you whined

“Come with me, we have to see Jungkook remember?”

“See Jungkook? Why?”

“He didn’t tell you what was going to happen?”

“Tell me what?” you were too tired to keep track of what he was saying.

V’s smile fell and he grew more serious.“… Well, just come with me, I don’t really have time to explain.”

“Ugh, fine.” You groaned wanting to get whatever you had to do over with.

You groggily followed V down the narrow hall was, the more you walked, the closer you felt to the stage. You felt the roar of the crowd and could barely make out Jungkook’s projected voice. “Tae… Where are we going?” you asked nervously.

“Like I said I have no time to explain.” He circled around you and put his hands on your shoulders, gently pushing you forward. You grew anxious as he guided you towards the stage.

Your heart was pounding and thankfully he stopped you just a few feet away from the edge of the stage. You could see the six other boys, too much in a panic to focus on what they were saying to the sea of fans.

V appeared in front of you. He looked a bit nervous and that didn’t make you feel any better. “I’m sorry about this whole sudden thing y/n, just remember, all you have to do is say yes.” He advised.

“Say yes? Say yes to what?!?”

He didn’t answer you, he only gave a pitiful half-ass smile. He bent his microphone back in place and stepped onto the stage with a fake smile plastered on. “Oh Jungkookie! I brought her!” he said playfully as he rejoined the rest of the boys.

“Yes?!? Ah! Ok!” Jungkook chuckled.

You saw the tall boy running up to you with an anxious smile. “Hey Jagi” he said softly, his voice echoing on the speakers.

“Jungkook, what is going on?”

His hands gently grabbed yours and he pulled you close, “I need you to just come with me really quick.”

You quickly retracted your arms to your chest. “Where?!? Why?!?” Your eyes flew to the stage already having your suspicions.

He pushed the microphone away from his mouth. “Baby, it’s okay, just come with me.”

“No!” you shook your head at him. You could feel your lip quivering

His hand gave your shoulders a reassuring squeeze “C’mon jagi, just really quick! You got this! Just trust me!”

Despite your better judgement, you let him take your hand and slowly take you to the stage. As soon as part of your leg was exposed to the crowd, they went into a frenzy. You wanted to run to the safety of the crew area, but Jungkook kept you from doing so.

Soon you saw an ocean of light sticks. The crowd roared as you made your appearance and you couldn’t help but feel like hell. Your heart was pounding, you couldn’t get ahold of your breathing and Jungkook was forced to walk slowly as you shuffled behind him. As you walked by them, each member had a fake smile stuck on their face.

Eventually Jungkook brought you to the center of the stage where your fingers dug into his coat sleeve and you half tried to hide yourself behind him

“So, uh” Jungkook began, his microphone back in place. “Like I was saying, this girl right here is someone that means so much to me…” The crowd roared again with a mix of cheers and boos. “And well, um…” he mumbled as he pried your hands off him and placed you by his side. “As of recently, I have made a decision… a kinda big one actually…” he said under his breath as his hand rummages through his coat pockets.

Instantly the crowd became quiet.

Jungkook let out a sigh of relief when his hand found whatever it was looking for. “So, uh, jagi?” Again, his hands found yours and your body automatically faced him. It was not at all comforting that he looked just as nervous as you felt. “So, while you were backstage, there was something I was telling ARMY… I was telling them that wee have been together for over tow years already, happy years at that. You have been through alot with, and, uh, i just” He took a deep breath. “I-I… I was just telling them how much you mean to me and how much I love you and-… I wanted to formally introduce you and well, I was hoping that, uh, that…”

Your body froze as you saw him slowly move down to one knee.

“I was hoping to introduce you as my future wife…” Immediately shrilling screams filled the stadium and Jungkook pulled a small black box out of his coat. “Y/f/n Y/l/n, I am absolutely head over heels in love with you and I can’t picture my future without you.” His trembling fingers opened the box to expose a huge diamond on a gold ring. “Will you marry me?”

Your heart stopped, your breathing stopped, everything just stopped. You could feel yourself leave your body somehow, in a way that was indescribable.

There was a look of shock on you that never seemed to fade. Your trembling hands covered your mouth and tears began to pour from your eyes. One thing you knew that no one else did was that those were anything but tears of joy. All you could get yourself to do was slowly nod your head. Before you knew it, Jungkook was sliding the ring on your finger, his arms snaked around you and he was spinning you with glee.

Your vision was blurred and you were dizzy. His lips found yours and you forced yourself to kiss back. Six bodies swarmed around the two of you and the crowd was at an even louder of cheers and incoherent screams and that’s when you knew, that was when you sensed it deep down that you were now stuck indefinitely.

91,000 words and 192 pages later, BTS 3 is done! WOW OKAY! So, what did you guys think of this???? Please let me know what you all think and of you have any ideas of what could possibly happen in BTS 4. And don’t ever be afraid to ask any questions about the series.

Also when it comes to bts 4, i am going to be posting updates. All my bts 4 updates are going to be tagged #behind the scenes, #bts4 and #behindthescenes4. I really don’t want you all in the dark because i do know that it will take a long time to write and i want you all to know that i am not going to forget about the story.

For those of you who recently caught up to Behind The Scenes and for those of you that ave been following up with all this horrible rollercoaster, thank you so much

[svtnreactions]

seventeen’s reaction to you dancing to their song flawlessly

thank you so so so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it makes me really happy to hear that you like my writing~ you’re too sweet :) I hope you like this reaction [p.s i wrote it as if the reader is their s/o, is that okay??] and my sincere apologies for how long this took... i mean it’s literally almost been a year. i feel really badly .... I’ll do better in the future.

-c

seungcheol ~

Seungcheol would be totally ecstatic. He sees you dancing to their music jokingly all the time so he hadn't expected you to actually follow their choreography for once. “Oh my~ jagi, have you always danced this well? Why were you hiding this from me?” After saying that, he'd sit in front of you and smile with his mouth slightly agape. He wouldn't want to interrupt again, he was too afraid you’d stop. Once you finished he’d jump up and lift you off your feet into an embrace. “That was amazing, Y/N!”

jeonghan ~

Jeonghan would sit back and smile widely as soon as you began to do their choreography. He would be a happy kind of surprised, his wide eyes not leaving you for a second. Jeonghan would clap for you once you finished, stopping so he could grab your hand and pull you to him. “When did you have the time to learn that, Y/N? If you have that much free time you should be spending it with me.” He’d laugh and place you on his lap. “Just kidding, jagi. That was unbelievable! I never knew you could dance like that.”

joshua ~

Joshua’s would smile brightly when he realized what you were doing, his eyes widening in admiration. He would yell out ad-libs throughout the whole ordeal to show his approval. “Wow! ..... Yeah man!.... Ay yo Y/N!” When you finally finished, he’d release one closing ‘wow’ and give you a loud round of applause. As you came up from a bow, Josh would take the chance to grab your wrist and pull you towards him. “I can’t believe you learned the whole dance! That was really amazing, jagi.” 

junhui ~

Jun would merely raise his eyebrows at you as you passionately went through their choreography. He’d be hesitant to show how impressed he was, but couldn’t help his mouth forming a little ‘o’. When the song came to an end he’d break into a tiny smile and walk up to your side. “You did this move wrong.. your leg should’ve been like this, not like this.” He’d place a hand on your thigh and show the correct position. You pouted at his critique, Jun’s smirk splitting into a grin. “-but that was fantastic, Y/N. Really, it was. If I knew you were this good at dancing I would’ve had you practice with me a long time ago!”

soonyoung ~

Hoshi is the type of boyfriend to give constant, genuine, and loud praise- he sees you as nothing less than perfect. So, when you began to recite the 아주 NICE choreography flawlessly, he wouldn’t hesitate to show his amazement. “That’s my jagi! WOW~ Y/N, you’re so talented!” He’d be smiling so hard by the end of your performance that you were afraid his face would split in two. He’d giggle excitedly and scoop you into his arms. “Do you know how long it took the boys to learn that? You should be so proud of yourself!”

wonwoo ~

Wonwoo is such soft, shy, sweetheart~ I think that no matter how long you were dating, he’d get flustered by all the little things you do. Seeing you dance would put a bashful smile on his face. He’d watch quietly, his smile along with the pink tint on his cheeks growing each second. When you finished he’d clap his sweater paws together slowly, “That was really..cute, Y/N... you’re really cute....”

jihoon ~

Woozi’s eye smile would be evident the moment he realized what you were doing. He’d watch you in pride and admiration, not being able to think of anything other than how lucky he is to have someone like you all to himself.  “Is this what you’ve been doing while I’m working late?” He’d laugh lightly when the song finally ended. “I can’t believe it~ that was so cool.” He’d rub his neck shyly, his eyes fixated on the floor.

seokmin ~

We all know how extra Dokyeom is. There’s no doubt that he’d be up in an instant, reciting the choreography at your side with a cheesy grin on his face. Though, he’d be laughing to hard to do it properly, collapsing on the ground to enjoy watching instead. “You’re a better dancer than me!” He’d exclaim when the song ended, dragging you down beside him. Seokmin would lace his fingers with yours and place a kiss on your cheek. “You should be promoting with the boys and I- seriously. You’re full of surprises, Y/N!”

mingyu ~

Mingyu’s initial reaction would be a look of pure awe, his jaw hanging open at the slightest. It would take him a minute to compose himself, but soon he’d break into a beaming smile. He’d love the thought of you practicing one of his group’s dances, his cheeks beginning to hurt from smiling so much. “Oh my god! I can’t believe that just happened..” He’d yell as soon as you were done. “How long did that take you? That was insane! I love you, jagi, you’re so talented!”

minghao ~

When Minghao turned on their title track BOOM BOOM, the last thing he expected was to see you start dancing along out of the corner of his eye. He seems like the kind of boyfriend who would mostly just tease you all the time, but internally would find everything you do to be insanely cute. So, the fact that you took the time to learn the complex choreography and practice it, would 10/10 make his heart palpitate. “Y/N, I love you so much. You know that right?”- is about all he could muster up as your performance came to an end.

seungkwan ~

I can just see Seungkwan’s dopey, surprised face as he watches you perform Seventeen’s choreography with precision. “Is this really happening right now?!” He’d think aloud. And when I say he’s excited, I mean like... bouncing in his seat, flailing his arms around like a crazy person kind of excited. He would just look at you with more admiration then he ever did before, thinking about how lucky he is to have someone as dedicated and talented as you. “Y/N, YOU’RE INCREDIBLE!”

hansol ~

Naturally, Vernon’s go-to reaction would be a meme-sol expression. He’d stare at you with his eyebrows raised and bottom lip sucked in, looking more meme-sol than ever. I feel like he’d stay quiet until the very end, just marveling at you as you execute each dance move flawlessly. When the song ends and you bow in his direction, he’d break into a beaming smile and laugh heartily. “I can’t believe you, Jagi. Only you would do something like this. You’re too cute!” Be prepared to be pulled into a tight hug- once he finishes his guffawing, of course.

chan ~

Dino, most definitely being the type of boyfriend to put you on a pedestal, never stops being amazed by you. Like, the way you eat your cereal is some kind of miracle to him. So seeing you doing something as complicated as the 아주 NICE choreo would just about break his mind. Instinctively, he’d join you, dancing at your side a bit sloppily as he tries to watch your dancing at the same time as concentrate on his own. When the music finally fades off, he’d take your hands in his and praise you endlessly. “My Jagi is so gifted! Is there anything you can’t do?”

[moonbinandback]

My KCON experience!!!!

I just got home and I wanted to write down everything while it’s still fresh in my memory so pls prepare for a very long very screaming account of today’s amazing events ;___; (I’ll post the pics and videos I got soon!!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so my mom and I drove together (she didn’t want me to go alone bc none of my irl friends like kpop lol rip s/o to my mom for being the coolest ever!!!), and we got to the venue at around 11:30ish. I wanted to get there earlier bc i was really paranoid about not getting an audience pass for astro ;___; we went to get our wristbands and stuff and our concert ticket barcodes ended up showing as invalid ?? ?! even tho we bought them from the official website ;~; so we had to get our tickets validated at staples center and then walk back to get our audience passes. after getting that sorted, I opened my passes and got Heize and Oh My Girl, both of which had already been completed :((( but as I was standing to the side trying to figure out if I could get passes off facebook, I overheard this group of ppl opening their audience passes and they were like “who did u get???” “uh... astro....” “me too....i don’t rly know them” and i was like HI HELLO DO U WANT THOSE BC IF NOT IM LOOKING FOR 2 PASSES FOR ASTRO NO PRESSURE THO and they were like “uhhh yeah sure” AND I GOT 2 AUDIENCE PASSES FOR FREE HOW LUCKY IS THAT !!!!! ! 😭😭 bless those ppl i hope they got hi touch or something lol they saved me like an hour of hunting for passes

after that we checked the room where fan engagements are held to see if there was a line for astro and there was already a crowd of like 60ish ppl there like 2 hours before the event and i was like fuk!!!!! but also it’s so nice to see fellow astro fans supporting our bois!! c: there were actually so many astro fans at the con i was so happy!! so we got in line and chilled and there were some rly cool fans handing out free astro banners with their own digital art, and one person was passing out these nice quality pics of the boys and asking “who’s ur bias??” and then just giving them out for free?? arohas are so nice ??? ???

then after we got into the room, i was like 3 rows from the very front of the audience barrier, but the hi touch ppl were way closer than us rip i was so jealous ;~; when the boys walked on i LOST MY FUKCING SHIT AS EXPECTED and OH YM GOD LET ME TELL U HOW BEAUTIFUL THEY ARE! !!!!!! they all had on very crisp clean button ups and slacks and they looked SO FRESH omg 

jinjin’s hair was so beautiful and smooth and he looked extra tiny today!!!!! i LOVE mj’s current hair color on him it looks so pretty and he also looked tiny af I LOVE!!!! sanha is SO FREAKING TALL like he absolutely towers over the hyungs lmaooooo but he’s also the CUTEST BAB his hair was slightly messy and very beautiful i cryyyy and rocky looked SO GOOD with his hair color!! it’s actually a lot more subtle irl than in the pics he posted recently :’) it’s like a very gentle auburn-burgundyish kinda color, and a little more brown than mj’s hair!

and eunwoo!!!! oh my god he is absolutely prince charming irl, even more so than in videos and pics like HOLY SHIT he is so stunning!!!! he was wearing this beautiful white button up and his brown hair makes him look EVEN MORE PRINCELY like i could not believe my eyes and when he hits u with THAT EYE SMILE u are deceased on the spot!!!!!!! he is a very beautiful dork and i love him!!! AND DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON BINNIE LIKE I THOUGHT I LOVED HIM A LOT BEFORE TODAY?? ??? WHTA THE FUCK ???? he is genuinely the most handsome and attractive person i have EVER seen like i was blown away by his natural charm, hes just SO DAMN CHARISMATIC IRL like if u dont stan bin before u see him irl.. ..u do afterwards lmao like he’s UNREAL ;__; he was wearing a bluish black button up with the tucked in and puffy look which I LOVE and some very well fitting slacks 👀 HES FINE AS FUCK YALL I RLY CANT EVEN EXPRESS HIS BEAUTY RN LIKE GOD DAMN!!! MY IDEAL MAN!!!! i was looking at all the bois but i kept going back to him like i honestly couldnt take my eyes off him he is so gorgeous!!!!

the Q&A session was CUTE AF but i couldnt hear them over the screams ;____; also ppl were sticking their phones in the air all over the place so my view was partially blocked sometimes but i got some lil viewing windows most of the time :D after the general questions from the mc they played this dice roll game where they have to do whatever action corresponds to the number they rolled! they did “switch parts” if i remember correctly, they sang confession and FUCKING JINJIN SANG I HEARD HIS BEAUTIFUL VOICE IRL I WAS DYING HE SOUNDED SO LOVELY!!!!!!!!!!!! (@FANTAGIO LET MY BOI SING!!!!) ALSO ROCKY SANG AND I LOST MY MIND HE WAS SO AMAZING AS WELL!!!! sanha, eunwoo, and mj sang their fave pop songs and they were SO GOOD as usual!!! 💞💞 ALSO EUNWOO RAPPED HE WAS SO CUTE

ok and here’s the part that literally killed me: THE SEXY DANCE WHAT THE FUUKCJKEJGHDJ I WAS ON FIRE!!!!!!! rocky’s dance was SO DAMN GOOD and i was like FUUUUUUUUCK ok that was amazing and then the bois were like “binnie u do it!!” and i was like GOD.. ..IF UR OUT THERE,,, ,,, MAKE IT HAPPEN and then not only bin but jinjin too! !!! BICH!!!! THEY ENDED ME RIGHT THEN AND THERE I CANT BELIEVE I SAW BIN DOING HIP THRUSTS IRL LIKE ?????? PLS WATCH THE FANCAM OF IT IF U HAVENT, IT WILL SAVE UR LIFE OK

so after the sexy dance i was in a state of euphoria ofc, and i remember them rolling aegyo on the dice and they were like “SANHA DO IT” and he was SO PRECIOUS I LOVE HIM he did the arm cross thing with a lil head shake and rocky joined him too!!!! god bless!!!!!!

during hi touch i just continued to bask in the boys’ presence hahah and i noticed they were doing mostly single handed high fives instead of the usual two hand high five/hand hold that they normally do :c but they all looked so cute and happy and smiley!!!! it made my heart so happy!!!!

after hi touch we took a group selfie with the boys (which i am definitely invisible in lmaooo) and then after leaving the room i was like “ah i heard they’ll be at the toyota booth at some point today i better go find out what time” and right as im walking to the booth i see a group of well dressed guys walking on the 2nd floor above me and im like “no way they beat us here” and then i saw a tall bean with white hair and i was like SANHAAAAAAA and they had just gotten to the toyota booth right as i got there!!!! a crowd had already formed but I got a decent view, and they were doing some more q&a that i couldn’t hear lmao but I was so happy that i got to see them again!!!!

when they left I walked around the marketplace and bought a dream part 1 poster (the one where they’re all in white dress shirts lookin cute af) and a poster of sleepy autumn story bin bc im WEAK and I LOVE MY BOIS

then i just hung around the food trucks area until we got to enter the concert venue, and my seats were pretty good!!! they weren’t GA or lowest tier, but i was decently close and i had a clear view of the stage like 95% of the time blesssss

first up was KARD and they were pretty good! their songs are not rly my style but they’re very talented and they look like a hardworking group!!! :D also they are all hot hahah

after that was Oh My Girl, and they were also good! again, their songs are not usually what i like but they were SUPER CUTE and charming!!

then Heize played!! I LOVE HEIZE OMG shes so pretty and her voice is beautiful!! i also love her style and her songs are so soothing/fun to listen to!! she asked us to turn on our phone flashlights while she performed Star and she started tearing up before she started singing and i was like NOOOOO BABY she almost made me cry ;~; anyways YES I LOVE HEIZE U SHOULD LISTEN TO HER IF U HAVENT YET

i had only rly listened to Energetic and I only knew ong seongwu before seeing wanna one, but HOLY SHIT they blew me away!!!!! i was really impressed by their choreo and they’re really great performers! their songs are catchy af damn!! AND ALL THE MEMBERS ARE CUTE like daniel?? ??? hot as fuck???? he had on this earring and im like damn?? what is this guy doing to me lmaooo

i hadn’t listened to any NCT 127 besides cherry bomb and I thought it was an okayish song, but again i was SO IMPRESSED by their performance!!! they were so on point for choreo, other theatrics, visuals, etc!!!! honestly i feel like all kpop groups are like 100000x better live bc of the choreo and atmosphere!! and there was a guy with light pink hair who was HOT AS FUKC i need to find him omg (taeyong? yeah hes fine as hell hahahah) also the bass in the staples center is SO INTENSE like my entire soul vibrated during cherry bomb lmao

GOT7 were great performers too but after hearing about the jaebum stuff im like 😒😒 also they give me a very arrogant vibe and im like eeeghhhh (sry to any GOT7 stans 😷) bambam looked cute tho shhhh

okay onto ASTROOOOOO so they first came on stage with Kim Tae Woo (who i don’t know at all rip sry ;__;) and they were wearing white/baby blue suits and they looked SO CUUUUTE they were covering Kim Tae Woo’s songs i think? and they did some CUTE AF CHOREO PLS WATCH THE LIVE STREAM TO SEE IT IT’S AMAZING

and then in the next song THEY ALL RAPPED AND I DIED LIKE U NEEED TO HEAR SANHA RAPPING IT IS THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST HES JUST A SOFT BAB HE DID SO GREAT

after doing 2 cover songs they LEFT THE STAGE and i was like THE FUKC!!!! but then i was like oh wait they’re definitely coming out later too lmao

BUT NOTHING COULDVE PREPARED ME FOR THEIR 2ND SET LIKE HOOOOOO MY GOD OOOOOOOOO M GYGOD THEY OPENED WITH JINJIN !!!!! DANCING!!!!!!!!! HE WAS GODLY AND THEN ROCKY!!!!! DANCED TOO!!!!!!! AND THEN THEY DANCED TOGETHER AND I WENT TO HEAVEN

THEIR OUTFITS WERE SOOOOO GOOOOOD they were all wearing tight black pants and eunwoo and sanha had on white graphic tees with black blazers and jinjin had a nice black striped dress shirt and mj had this super cool black and white jacket and ROCKY??? HAD A BEAUTIFUL WHITE DRESS SHIRT THAT HE SWEATED COMPLETELY THRU AND U COULD SEE HIS CHEST AASHSHJSFHSJ

BIN WAS ON ANOTHER PLANE OF BEAUTY LIKE WHAT THE FUCK!!! HE HAD A BLACK GRAPHIC TEE AND A GORGEOUS BROWNISH BURGUNDY SATIN(?) JACKET OVER AND HE LOOKED SO FUCKING AMAZING HOOOO MAN

when i first saw these outfits i was like CONCEPT CHANGE ???? DARK ASTRO ??? ? so we’ll see what happens omg but DAMN the more mature look suits them so well and as much as i love their cute style i 10000% support this more dark look like hnnnn yes

the first song they performed was AGAIN AKA THE SONG OF MY DREAMS THE CHOREO OF MY LIFE and it was EVERYTHING to see it performed live!!!!!! and in those outfits??? i was LIVING oh my god and i got to see bin and rocky do the pirouette flippy thing and it was SO AWESOME

they did their mentions next and they were so cute!!!! also rocky kept jumping and dancing around everywhere hes the lov of my life ;__; then they were like “we have a special surprise! we’re going to play.... pinata!!” but eunwoo pronounced it PEEN-uh-ta and i was like omg what is that...and then i figured it out when it came up on the screen LMAO EUNWOO IS SO CUTE

it was another randomized game to decide what activity to do and they got “fan gifts” so they all had 1 min to decorate a tshirt to give away, and they also gave away some other signed merch!! then sanha was like “we gave the shirts to the ppl in the front bc we can’t reach u up there, but we want to give u shirts too!!” and they brought out TSHIRT CANNONS HAHAH but they only shot as far as the lowest tier boooo :c

then they performed a shortened version of breathless and IT WAS AMAZING TO WITNESS EUNWOO CARRYING MJ IRL AAAAAAAA also it was kinda funny watching them perform a super cute poppy song in their current wardrobe lmaooo

then they did a bit of polaris and i was like EEEEYYYYYY and then they did baby!!!!!! the baby choreo is SO GOOD and it’s so amazing to see them do choreo irl bc u can really focus on them and see their talent and hard work come to life!!!!! I LVOE THEM SO MUCH AND I AM SO PROUD!!!! THEY ARE SO TALENTED AND THEYVE COME SO FAR I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT THEY HAVE IN STORE FOR US 💕💕💕💕💕💕

[k-llama-llama]

Never

Stray Kids AU: 10th member

Tori x Stray Kids

An outdoor performance poses some unforeseen security risks.

Requests are OPEN : I want to hear all of your requests! All of your thoughts! Send them to me!!!! (Merci to the requester for this scenario!)

Make sure to tell me what you thought?!? I love hearing from all of you!

MASTERLIST

Tori loved outdoor performances. They were just so much closer and more personal. Their fans could literally sit right in front of the stage, and they could attract passerby’s. It was also a lot easier to pump up the crowd when they were so close.

This particular performance has present a crowd that was far bigger than they’d expected. Security was lined up in front of the stage, making sure to keep the ever-growing crowd back.

They were about to launch into their performance of Young Wings. This was one of Tori’s favourites, because the dance style was a lot smoother and she could really show off what she could do.

Tori’s lines weren’t until the second verse, so she happily dances along holding her microphone for the first one. When it came time for the chorus, she quickly took her position to the side of the stage.

Her favourite move was coming up. The one where she put one hand on her head and tapped her foot to the “eh eh”. She just thought that every time she watched videos of this song they looked so playful and cute.

It did strike her all of a sudden how many people were there. Security was struggling to keep everyone back at the front. And not because they were trying to jump on stage, but because there was just so many people moving forward.

Tori focused on her performance and prepared for the chorus dance. Just as it began, someone grabbed her waist.

She looked over and saw a man that she didn’t know. He started pulling her off the stage, and when she moved to go back to the performance he tightened his grip and grabbed her wrist as well.

She didn’t want to scream. She didn’t want to worry the fans. But she knew that something was wrong. This man wasn’t security, he wasn’t a member of her staff, and no one who worked for JYP would drag her off in the middle of a performance.

She pulled back again, trying to stop the momentum that was pulling her to the stairs. Her microphone fell to the ground, sending an ear splitting noise through the speakers.

“Yah! Yah, Tori!” Jeongin, who stood the closest to her during the choreo, hurried over. “What are you doing?”

He reached for her, grabbing her other arm and pulling her back towards him.

The man holding her shoved him, and Jeongin tumbled to the ground. The crowd gasped and the other boys finally stopped singing.

“Let me go!” Tori demanded, struggling as he pulled her down the first few steps. “Jeongin!”

Jeongin climbed back to his feet. He didn’t look hurt, just shocked that he’d been shoved.

“Let her go, now!” He shouted, hurrying back towards them.

Tori was torn. She wanted this man to let go of her. She didn’t know what he planned to do or why he was taking her off the stage. But she didn’t want Jeongin to get hurt, and now they were on the stairs and if he fell and hurt his head she would never forgive herself.

Jeongin reached for her, and she stretched out and grabbed his hand as he tried to pull her back onto the stage.

“Let go now!” The man holding her shouted. He threw out a fist, catching Tori in the elbow and forcing her to release her grip on Jeongin.

“What’s happening? Tori!” Chan arrived at the side of the stage. He saw her being dragged off by someone, and Jeongin in a full on panic. “Who are you? Why are you taking her?”

Hyunjin didn’t wait for an answer. He practically jumped down the stairs, grabbing Tori and shoving the man in the other direction. The man released most of his grip, but still had one hand locked firmly around her wrist.

“Let go!” Hyunjin pushed him again.

“Hyunjin! Where’s security?” Woojin seemed to be shouting.

Hyunjin’s final push sent the man flying down the remaining two stairs, and Tori flying backwards. She braces herself to collide with the steps, but found someone catching her instead.

She turned and found Minho, holding her. He took one look at her attempted kidnapper, who was still struggling towards her, and picked her up and carried her back up the stairs. He set her down at the top, crouching in front of her.

Tori watched as security finally arrived. They quickly grabbed the man and pulled him away and out of view. Hyunjin hurried back up the stairs and sat next to her.

He quickly looked her face over. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you?”

Tori shook her head.

Jeongin cut in. He lifted her arm and looked at her elbow, where a nasty bruise was already forming. “He hit you! We need ice or something.”

“He hit you?” Minho looked like he was seriously considering going back to find the man again.

Chan stood behind her. He placed a hand on her head and she leaned back against his leg.

“I’m okay.” She promised.

“What was he doing?” Felix asked. “Did he think we were just going to let him take you?”

“Never!” Jeongin said, laughing. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

Suddenly Tori could register the screams of fans. They were just slightly off stage, so the fans couldn’t see what was happening.

“We should go finish the performance.” Tori moved to stand up. Jeongin held on tight and pulled her back into his lap.

“You’re not performing.” Hyunjin told her.

“What! Your choreo will be all messed up if I’m not in position.” She insisted.

“The show is over.” Chan insisted. “We’ll go on and explain everything. The fans will understand.”

Tori nodded shakily, feeling too exhausted to argue. Chan disappeared with Changbin and Jisung, and she could hear them apologizing and promising that everyone was alright.

“Why am I always the one getting hurt?” She moaned.

She could feel herself getting hot, and she leaned back into Jeongin’s chest.

“She looks pale. Why does she look pale?” Felix asked.

Hyunjin bent down and felt her face. “I think she’s just shocked.”

“I’m okay.” She insisted.

“No you’re not.” Minho handed Hyunjin a bottle of water, and he took off the cap and handed it to her.

She held out her hand. It was shaking. She stared at it blankly. “Oh.” She breathed.

Minho gently pushed her hand down to her lap, where Jeongin grabbed on and held her tight. Hyunjin tilted the bottle up to her mouth, helping her take a quick sip. Water dribbled down her chin and Hyunjin carefully wiped it off with his sleeve.

“I’m okay.” She muttered again.

Hyunjin stood abruptly. “I’m going to go talk to security, maybe phone JYP.” He stormed off, leaving Tori sitting in a little circle on the steps.

She could still hear shouting from the fans. It seemed like people were starting to leave, but there were lots of screams. Hopefully they were concerned and not angry about the concert being over.

Chan reappeared at almost the same time Hyunjin did. “The car is coming.” He said.

They helped Tori stand on shaky legs. She noticed as they gave her concerned looks, but was too focused on not falling to care.

She took a step and stumbled slightly. Jeongin caught her and braced her against his side.

Why was it bothering her this much. Nothing had happened. They’d stopped him. But just the thought of being taken away from the boys, of imagining Jeongin getting pushed aside again, was causing her to feel weak in the knees.

“She’s not walking.” Jeongin said forcefully.

“Nope.” Chan stepped forward and picked her up bridal style. She wrapped her arms instinctively around his neck, letting him carry her swiftly down the stairs and into the van that was waiting for them.

He moved all the way to the back seat, where there were four seats in a row. He gestured for Jeongin to sit on one end seat, and then he placed Tori down in the middle and sat on her other side.

“Your colour is coming back.” Seungmin noted as he stepped into the car.

“I’m fine. I promise.” She muttered.

Minho and Hyunjin took the two aisle seats right in front of her, so that they could turn around and keep an eye on her.

She turned and lay down, laying her head in Jeongin’s lap. Chan picked up her feet and placed them in his, so that she was laying more comfortably.

Jeongin smiled down at her and gently stroked her hair. “It’s okay, noona. You can sleep. I’m right here.”

She nodded lazily, turning so that her face was buried in his stomach. “My hero.” She whispered.

He laughed slightly, but then went silent to let her sleep.

But she couldn’t sleep. Not when she knew the boys were going to immediately start talking about her.

“That was horrible.” Changbin whispered. “How did it happen?”

“Security said that they were overwhelmed at the front of the stage and he snuck by the only guy at the side. They promised it wouldn’t happen again.” Hyunjin explained.

“And it won’t.” Minho insisted. “What about JYP, what did he say?”

“Didn’t answer the phone.”

“Are you okay, I.Nnie?” Seungmin asked. “You got shoved pretty good.”

Tori felt Jeongin nod, though the hand petting her hair never stopped. “I’m fine. I just wanted to get her back. He actually punched her though.”

“We’ll make sure that a doctor checks out her arm.” Chan promised. “And Jeongin. Really...you did a good job. If you hadn’t tried to stop him he might have gotten further away.”

“Super brave.” Jisung said, though he sounded like he might be teasing.

Jeongin shrugged. “He just came out of nowhere. And she looked so scared. She’d do the same for any of us.”

She felt a hand stroking her ankle and assumed that Chan was doing it just out of habit, to reassure himself that she was there.

“Can we rework the choreo? So that on outside stages she’s closer to the middle?”

“Yeah. I’ll start on it as soon as we get back.” Minho said.

Chan nodded. “No one would try to grab any of us like that, but we need to make sure that it never happens again.”

“No one is ever going to grab her like that again.” Hyunjin insisted.

“We’re good.” Chan whispered, almost to himself. “We’re all okay, and we can get through anything.”