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checkoutmybookshelf · 6 months ago

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Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

The more of this book I read, the less reasonable it seems to call this a reread. I definitely internalized almost nothing of this book the first time around. This time around though, we have fun things like Gandalf army crawling around Rivendell to troll Pippin, Boromir being the single person of the big folk to actually be practically concerned about the hobbits in the wild, and a personified and deeply pissed off mountain. So let's talk chapter three, "The Ring Goes South."

Literally the majority of the time we spend with the hobbits in Rivendell is in meetings. We JUST got out of the council meeting--which was a hell of an infodump chapter and frankly my head is STILL spinning over it--and now the hobbits are in Bilbo's room having their own little meeting. This is also kind of where I'm really starting to see the big folk totally disregard Merry and Frodo's relationship and lump Merry in with Pippin, because it's not even a QUESTION at first that Merry and Pippin will go along with Frodo and Sam. Which like...again...MERRY IS SOLIDLY 95% OF THE REASON THEY MADE IT OUT OF THE SHIRE AND TO BREE SAFELY. GIVE THE HOBBIT THE DAMN CREDIT HE DESERVES!!!

I can't say I'm not enjoying the Gandalf trolling Pippin dynamic, but it's wildly unfair to lump Merry into that, and frankly I cannot wait until our hobbit gets to Rohan and gets his own little adventure, because he deserves it.

In the meantime, however, all points to Sam for gently calling out that they'll "just wait long enough for winter to come" before leaving Rivendell to start their quest. I grew up in Alaska, and I am EXTREMELY with Sam on this one. A bigass quest in the winter is doable, if you're prepared and know how not to die of stupid or exposure or cold, but it is going to SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I also deeply approve of Bilbo pinning the blame for THAT precisely where it belongs:

"That can't be helped," said Bilbo. "It's your fault partly, Frodo my lad: insisting on waiting for my birthday. A funny way of honoring it, I can't help thinking. Not the day I would have chosen for letting the S.-B.s into Bag End. But there it is: you can't wait now till spring; and you can't go till the reports come back."

The SHAAAAAAAAAAAAADE on Frodo giving Lobelia Sackville-Baggins Bag End on Bilbo's birthday there is amazing, and honestly this is an excellent point. That said though, it's also just a biiiiiiiiiiit harsh on Bilbo's part to blame Frodo for making a plan without full information. We do the best we can with the information we have at any given point, and I rather think that given his druthers--a a lack of Black Riders on the road--Frodo might have spent longer in Crickhollow and Bree, which could have meant that they would have been off on this trip in the spring. That would also have been entirely too late to do anything useful, but there you go.

We do just casually spend two months in Rivendell though, so it's literally the end of December before they get word that eight of the nine Black Riders were successfully de-horsed and de-cloaked by the rushing waters at the ford, which clears the party to officially form up and leave Rivendell.

I am not gonna lie, having largely grown up on the movies, I find it absofuckingloutely hilarious that Peter Jackson just kind of went, "Let's do 'I am Spartacus' during the council of Elrond to put the party together" and Elrond is basically like, "Nine companions...Cool beans!" And I have now discovered that the actual way this went down was a lot more "I am Elf Daddy, Hear Me Roar":

"And I will choose you companions to go with you, as far as they will or fortune allows. The number must be few, since your hope is speed and secrecy. [...] The Company of the Ring shall be Nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil."

Ok, cool; they're an explicit parallel to the Black Riders. And thank you Tolkien for trying to subvert the dreaded movie title mention, even if Peter Jackson didn't take the hint and got cute with it (affectionately). I will say though, Elrond might have...ASKED FRODO if there was anyone in particular he wanted with him while he walked to hell. Like, this should have been a conversation, not a declaration. I grant, Frodo wouldn't have known all of what he'd need, but damn Elrond, way to not even bother to ASK.

Which is also why I am grateful Gandalf pipes up when Pippin insists that he and Merry are going. Because not only does Gandalf make up for the trolling a bit here, he also is willing to respect hobbits' desires more than LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE UP TO THIS POINT. Here's how this bit goes down:

"We don't want to be left behind. We want to go with Frodo." "That is because you do not understand and cannot imagine what lies ahead," said Elrond. "Neither does Frodo," said Gandalf, unexpectedly supporting Pippin. "Nor do any of us see clearly. It is true that if these hobbits understood the danger, they would not dare to go. But they would still wish to, or wish that they dared, and be shamed and unhappy. I think, Elrond. that in this matter it would be well to trust rather to their friendship than to great wisdom."

THEY ARE NOT CHILDREN JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE SHORT, ELROND. Frodo is like fully in his hobbit 30s, and everyone else is a legal hobbit adult. They get to make their own choices, even if your ass doesn't like them. And THANK YOU GANDALF for supporting hobbit agency at this time. Honest to christ, it's like big folk see small folk and go "child" and as a short woman (five foot one on a good day) this is deeply irritating to me. Height isn't some indicator of adulthood and intelligence. It's an indicator of HEIGHT.

And sure, even if the hobbits have no fucking clue what they're in for, that's not like...wildly unusual for newly adulted adults. We make all sorts of decisions in our early twenties (or have them made for us *glares in military drafts and student loans*) that we absolutely would not have made given more life experience. Like...welcome to adulthood, sit the fuck down Elrond.

Which he eventually does, we sort out the company roster, and everyone fucks off to go get kitted up.

Anduril just gets casually reforged so Aragorn can have a sword that is actually USEFUL on this leg of the trip. My favorite thing though? Absolutely has to be Bilbo's CASUAL DISREGARD FOR RIVENDELL'S ARCHITECURE:

"Here is your sword," he said. "But it was broken, you know. I took it to keep it safe but I've forgotten to ask if the smiths could mend it. No time now. So I thought, perhaps, you would care to have this, don't you know?" He took from the box a small sword in an old shabby leather scabbard. Then he drew it, and its polished and well-tended blade glittered suddenly, cold and bright. "This is Sting," he said, and thrust it with little effort deep into a wooden beam.

The absolute HELL I would have caught from literally everyone if I ever casually plunged a sword into someone else's house doesn't even bear thinking about. I also appreciate the casual hobbity disregard for Frodo's own sword. Like, it was broken, and Bilbo just...forgot to get it fixed? Part of me is like, "Well, he IS a hobbit," and the rest of me is like "THE FUCK YOU FORGOT, SIR. THIS IS A PLOY TO SET YOUR NEPHEW AND HEIR OFF WITH A SWORD YOU TRUST." Which is deeply relatable and honestly super adorably parental, especially since it is ABSOLUTELY Bilbo's fault that Frodo ended up in this position. (Yeah that might be harsh and it might ignore the Ring's own agency, but I stand by "magic rings shouldn't be passed down to unsuspecting nephews" thing.)

I do appreciate that Frodo gets Sting though, because that sword served Bilbo well in The Hobbit, and even I can appreciate the value of the inheritance that Sting brings to the quest in general and Bilbo in particular. Same with the Mithril shirt--although the word Mithril is not used in this chapter!!! Bilbo refers to it as dwarf-mail, and I would need to go back and look at The Hobbit to see if he knows it's Mithril there and I cannot currently be bothered.

What is really adorable is that Frodo takes one look at this thing--and its matching pearl and crystal belt--and goes "I should look - well, I don't think I should look right in it." And Bilbo AGREES!!! But it's darling, really, because he does the hobbitiest thing imaginable to get the protective gear on the nephew:

"Just what I said myself," said Bilbo. "But never mind about looks. You can wear it under your outer clothes. Come on! You must share this secret with me. Don't tell anybody else! But I should feel happier if I knew you were wearing it. I have a fancy it would turn even the knives of the Black Riders," he ended in a low voice.

The masterful parenting skills on display here. First, we validate the kid's feelings that yeah, it looks pretty stupid. But hey, nobody has to see, and it can be our cool little secret! And it would make me, your beloved, frail, old Uncle Bilbo feel better if you did. Do you WANT to get stabbed again? Because not wearing this is how you get stabbed again. This is literally just Bilbo running through the parenting manual at warp speed, and I kind of love it. Because ultimately, the Mithril goes on, and it will end up saving Frodo's ass.

Although admittedly it's not going to do much on Caradhras.

It then takes three and a half pages to get everyone out the goddamn gate, but a third of the way into this chapter, we do FINALLY get the fellowship setting forth. Before they can get out the door though, Elrond spends a weird amount of time going "EVERYONE IS A VOLUNTEER. THEY CAN LEAVE WHENEVER THEY WANT." It has very "Covering my ass to not get sued" vibes, and frankly while I appreciate the clarity--and yes, I get it, the choice to stay together is what makes the bonds strong more than some oath--CAN WE PLEASE GET THE HELL ON THE ROAD ALREADY???

It is getting toward January, so walking to the mountains is cold and windy and miserable but probably also deeply boring, so Tolkien kind of glosses over that until we get to the Misty Mountains and we get like fifteen names for each peak that I'm not spending time on because I don't care. The important thing is that we have to go up the Redhorn Gate on Caradhras and head for the Dimrill Dale, where we will descend the Dimrill Stair toward the Mirrormere and River Silverlode. Got it.

It does not take long for Aragorn to get anxious because the patterns of the land are disrupted, and I love that as per usual, when something important happens, it's Sam who is there. When the crebain pull their little flyover, it's Sam whose watch Aragorn shares, SAM who actually first sees the dark patch that heralds the spy birds, and Sam whose eyes we see them through. Sam is the keeper of knowledge for our hobbits, and I adore that this pattern is still standing strong, even if it means that these people can't stay secret or hidden for longer than a few days if their damn lives depend on it. Literally at no point have the forces of Mordor not known that the ring is moving, and they've generally had a rough sense of where it is too. Even Gandalf is over here going, "and I have no freaking clue how we're getting over the Redhorn Gate unseen, but we will burn that bridge when we get to it."

Unfortunately, by the time they actually do get to Caradhras, weather seems to be moving in, and Wizard Daddy and King of Gondor Daddy are fighting about the route and refusing to ask for directions:

"Winter deepens behind us, [...] the weather may prove a more deadly enemy than any. What do you think of your course now, Aragorn?" [...] "I think no good of our course from beginning to end, as you well know, Gandalf," answered Aragorn. [...] "But there is another way, and not by the pass of Caradhras: the dark and secret way that we have spoken of." "But let us not speak of it again! Not yet." [...] "We must decide before we go further," answered Gandalf.

But ultimately, they opt to go over the mountain, with Boromir super wisely piping up as the expert on traveling in deadly winter that hey, MAYBE THEY SHOULD BRING SOME FIREWOOD, because "it will not help us to keep so secret that we are frozen to death."

Like, Aragorn is a ranger, but he isn't used to these altitudes. Gandalf and Legolas aren't bothered by snow. Gimli is...a dwarf. But Boromir has probably seen people die in snow and cold, and I'd bet he knows that thanks to the weird thing where people who are smaller have higher surface-area-to-volume ratios and lose body heat faster. Boromir and Aragorn are big dudes, but the hobbits are literally child-sized. They're going to be in more danger from cold faster. So YEAH, bring the extra fire wood.

Oh, and hey, Gimli? THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE MOMENT TO MENTION THAT CARADHRAS HATES ELVES AND WIZARDS. I PERHAPS WOULD NOT HAVE WAITED UNTIL YOU WERE EYEBALL DEEP IN AN UNNATURAL SNOWSTORM TO MENTION THIS.

Seriously, they get partway up this mountain, and Gandalf and Aragorn are still having a pissing contest about the route they're now actively on, Boromir is hypothesizing that Sauron is yeeting a blizzard at them, AND NOT A GODDAMN WORD FROM GIMLI until the next day when Boromir is hearing fell voices in the air and BIGASS STONES ARE FALLING ON THEIR HEADS. And even then, it's not the full explanation we'll get in another couple pages, it's:

"Caradhras was called the Cruel, and had an ill name," said Gimli, "long years gao, when rumour of Sauron had not been heard in these lands."

Like, sure, ok. It's a mean, grouchy mountain. BUT AGAIN, MAYBE WE COULD HAVE PICKED A DIFFERENT ROUTE IF WE KNEW IT SPECIFICALLY HATED ELVES AND WIZARDS.

This heralds probably the worst night that the company spends on this mountain. They have almost no cover, the snow nearly buries the hobbits, and had Boromir not been watching, they'd have fallen asleep and suffocated to death under snow or frozen to death. And it is SUPER clear that Gandalf doesn't understand how biology works, because in response to Boromir's "This will be the death of the halflings" (which, YEAH, no kidding!!!), Gandalf pulls out the Elven liquor. Specifically miruvor, or the cordial of Imladris, but that means jack to me at this point other than IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO KEEP THE HOBBITS ALIVE IN A MOUNTAIN BLIZZARD IN JANUARY.

Ultimately it's Boromir's foresight to bring some goddamn fuel and light a fire that keeps the hobbits alive, and frankly as someone who grew up where it could hit minus 50 Fahrenheit, Gandalf is no longer allowed to lead on mountains. If Boromir hadn't been there, they would have had four dead hobbits on their hands. Like, yes, eyes on the prize, but PERHAPS NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE LIFE OF THE RINGBEARER LESS THAN A MONTH INTO THE JOURNEY???

At this point, Gimli calls for, and is granted, a retreat, because the mountain is absolutely going to kill all their asses. Boromir again gets MEGA points for being the beefiest of beefy warrior men and breaking a trail to get everyone else down--WHILE CARRYING MERRY AND PIPPIN. Like, quite literally this bear of a man has one hobbit piggyback, one clinging to his front like a monkey, and STILL manages to keep clearing and widening the path for everyone behind him. And this goes on for like another day or two as they get off murder mountain.

Quite literally I am gonna need everyone to stop what they're doing and acknowledge that Boromir pulled everyone's asses out of the fire that Aragorn and Gandalf bickered them into. Like, I'm not gonna say this man was done completely dirty by the movie, because he gets little "protector of the hobbits' physical well-being" moments throughout, but HOLY TITS WAS THAT SCALED DOWN.

I think I'll leave it here, with Caradhras having quite handily handed the fellowship their asses, and Boromir being the only reason that the hobbits survived that little foray into mountain passes. Like, they gave it the old college try, and I'm sure that probably seemed like the least bad of all the shitty options for travel in front of them, but if anything was DESIGNED to murder the hobbits in their little hairy tracks, it was the angry, Elf and Wizard hating mountain that can yeet stones and whip up killer blizzards...

#reread #the fellowship of the ring #lord of the rings #lotr #chapter 3 #the ring goes south #books and reading #books #books and novels

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writingjoycebyers · 4 months ago

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Could you write a Jopper wedding ficlet? :)

This has been in my drafts for ages. It has nothing to do with ST4. But well… here you go.

Iam pretty sure this is not what you had been thinking of when you requested this, anon. It‘s my first go at writing after months! This is highly inspired by Little Women and Jo March. It is absolutely (!) AU. This ask has been in my inbox the longest and I literally could never ever imagine a jopper wedding somehow. But … here you go. I‘d appreciate some reactions as a welcome back for me. 📫

______________________________

Oh, Jimmy boy.

A Joyce Byers one shot based on Little Women and Stranger Things

Joyce Horowitz was only 12 years old when the old, forgotten house next to her home was suddenly not so empty anymore. She sat on the windowsill with her sisters, fighting for the best spot to watch the new neighbors move in . Abigail was, at six years old, still too short at this point to even see through the window without climbing onto a chair, so she was no real danger, but Joyce‘s sister Beatrice was only two years younger than her, which made her the perfect height to push her elbow into Joyce‘s side to make space for herself on the windowsill. Madeline, the oldest Horowitz sister, was 15 years old at that point and pretended to be too mature to care about some new kids moving in next door. If she‘d been honest, she would have loved to sit by the window too. Joyce kept her eyes locked on the family walking into the house, carrying boxes and bags. A mother - tall and blonde, a father - even taller and a boy, maybe twelve or thirteen, Joyce could not tell. His clothes looked a bit too large, his hair - blonde and shiny - a bit too long. He could need a cut, Joyce thought, resembling words her mother usually said whenever Joyce’s dark waves would become undetangable again. Her cheeks would heat up seeing the boy through the window the next few days although snow was piling up outside. Although Hawkins had become a cold place this winter. Her cheeks would heat up like the fire burning in their fireplace, as if she was in a fever even though she did not even know the new family. It must be that she always had been nosy. You could not feel a connection to someone you did not even know yet, right?

It was her 13th birthday, just about a year later, when she could not imagine life without the boy next door anymore. James Hopper had become her best friend - from building snowmen to roaming the woods in the summer - they had not left each other’s side ever since that one day a month after he had moved in.

A cold night one winter day, Hawkins had been taken over by a horrible snow storm and suddenly - although nobody was to leave their houses - there was a knock on the Horowitz‘s front door.

„My goodness.“, Joyce heard her mother say a few seconds after she had opened the front door.

A low voice answered. „I am sorry to disturb, Madame. But my parents have left the country to visit my aunt and our roof‘s been lacking all night.“

„Oh, Jimmy, Boy. Come in.“, Joyce’s mother said as all four Horowitz girls stuck their noses through the living room door into the hallway. It was the neighbour’s boy. Abby let out a surprised „What’s he doing here?“, while Madeline shrunk her shoulders, getting back to the living room totally unimpressed. Beatrice coughed again. She was too weak to say anything, the cold weather had never been something for her. Their reactions left Joyce by the door, her head visible between the doorframe as she gave the freezing boy in the hallway a soft smile.

„Hello.“, she whispered.

„Hello.“, he whispered back. „You’re the window girl.“, he said and his words made her cheeks burn in a fever of embarrassment.

„I’m Joyce.“, she added sheepishly.

„Jimmy.“

—————

When Joyce was sixteen, Jimmy became Jim.

„Come on, Jimmy, or we are gonna be late for school.“, she yelled over, very unladylike, as she waited on the little path in front of his house for him to come out.

Two minutes later he stood in front of her, still buttoning up his shirt. „Don’t call me that, Joy.“

„But it’s your name.“

„Not anymore, Joyce, I am sixteen, look.“, he said, taking her hand for her to touch his shoulders. „I’ve been doing push ups.“

_________

Joyce was nineteen, some time had passed after high school, when Jim told her he had to leave. The last three years had passed by in a rush, and whenever Joyce and Jim watched each other’s reflection down by the lake they’d spend their summer at, they would not find any resemblance to the boy and girl they had been when Jim had started doing push ups.

��What do you mean, you’re leaving?”, Joyce scoffed as if it was just a stupid joke. They were laying next to each other on the ground by the banks of the lake.

"Police training, the city, a job.", he summed up his situation. He did not look at her but the sky above them. There was a mosquito humming next to his ear.

"Yeah, alright, I see.", was all Joyce could mumble as the lump in her throat got bigger and summer came to an end.

_______________

Joyce was twenty-one when Jim Hopper returned for good.

“What’s that, stupid?”, she laughed as he stood in front of her with a small bouquet of wild flowers. He had phoned her that he’d be back in town and she had agreed when he had suggested to meet up where Hawkins town bordered the woods, right behind her parents’ house. He must have thought she did still live with them.

“Flowers.”, he replied although it was obvious.

When Joyce got closer she realized he was sweating, maybe even shaking a bit.

“Look Joyce, I don’t wanna lose any more time. Don’t say nothing. Just take the damn flowers.”, he started his speech.

Joyce took them, leaning against an old fence that had once protected her granddad’s horses.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore. Two years of letters. Two years of pretending. Joyce, no fucking day went by in the city that I did not think of you. God, what am I saying. Not a day since I moved into that stupid old house with my parents. Joyce - do you wanna be my wife?”, he blurted out and it was obvious that this had been what he needed. His shoulders sank down, a breath left his lungs.

Joyce stared at him, moments passed, seconds or minutes, she did not know. “Hop.”, she replied and her voice was low, powerless. “I’m with someone else. I’m with…”

“Don’t tell me. I’ll find out soon enough.”, he said. Without another word, he turned around and left.

Jim Hopper had moved in next to Joyce’s house at age 12, a hopeful boy and now, at 21, he was a beaten man. Joyce never saw him again in town after that, only heard of his return to the city, of his life as a police officer. Slowly, Jim became a memory.

Jim Hopper was fourty-one when he looked at Joyce Byers as if she was completely insane, but somehow had the feeling that she wasn’t. Somehow she reminded him of the Joyce he had known, the fiercest of four sisters, having a mind of her own and a million feelings burning inside of her.

“He’s not dead. Will, he’s somewhere out there, I’m sure, Hop.”, she insisted.

“Okay.”, was all he could say as he, to his surprise sent a quick prayer up to heaven that she was right. Joyce Byers nodded and all he could see was the woman he had loved, the woman he’d been to late for, the once fierce girl a broken woman.

_____________

“May I ask you again?”, he said as they sat on the porch. Inside the house El and Will were fighting over some snacks while preparing dinner. Jim and Joyce watched Jonathan play with his kid in the distance. Years had gone by, but Jim still smoked his cigarette the same way and Joyce’s hand was still a bit shaky whenever he lit her a smoke, too.

“If you’d be my wife.”, he said with a smile.

______________

Jim and Joyce got married in a fever, long after his desperate proposal by the green meadows outside Hawkins. Her dress was not white, his suit was a little too big. Jim and Joyce got married in a small chapel on the outskirts of town, with nobody present but the priest. Neither of them was religious, but it felt divine to put a small, silver ring on each other‘s finger. Jim and Joyce got married when Joyce was fifty-five.

———-

Bonus:

#joyce byers #jopper #stranger things #jim hopper #young jopper #winona ryder #joyce byers x jim hopper #jopper ficlet #jopper fic #Joyce maldonado #joyce horowitz #joyce x hopper #little women #crossover #Jopper wedding #fluff #jopper fluff #Jopper hurt

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deactivated-deadpool-anon · 2 years ago

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Tw: heavy vent, topic of suicide, and self harm

I’ve had this in drafts for a few weeks just added on as I felt sad so if it seems jumbled that’s why

Idk how to add the little page break thing on tumblr mobile so if you’re sitting here scrolling for a minute I’m genuinely so sorry

So every winter my depression gets extremely bad as it does with most people so it’s no shocker that I’ve been in a slump for the past month but it’s bad this time the last time I could remember it being this bad was when I went through with my first attempt in 7th grade and I’m ngl I’ve heavily been thinking about trying to make another attempt on my life I don’t only for my younger siblings I can’t handle the thought of them walking in on my dead body which they inevitably would (my brother wakes me up every morning) and everytime I think about this scenario I start spiraling it’s hell but yeah not gonna kill my self ig. I’ve been using quite literally all my strength not to relapse and start self harming again I’ve been clean since November and I’m really trying to break the addiction but it’s so hard and I don’t really have any other coping mechanisms. In all honesty tho the real reason I don’t go back to cutting is bc I threw away what I was using to do it and I have like actual knives but I’m scared of going to deep (kinda ironic ig). So I’ve had a group of friends since last February (feb 2022) there’s been 3 main people with others along as well I don’t feel like going into our whole history but a cliff note version of it is we started hanging out in feb in may I started dating person B in July I broke it off with B and ever since it’s basically been me vs B (the others occasionally joining me) well I started talking to B in November after not talking to him for 2 months and shit was great it was basically how it was back before we got together he even got me a shiny Pokémon for my birthday (which means a lot to me) but practically since it’s been new year’s he went back to how he was in September (when we first stopped talking) just an asshole we obviously were annoyed by each other then we got in a “fight” so we stopped talking again anyways so that was Sunday I didn’t have school Monday but Tuesday and Wednesday he’s still been hanging around my group which is fine they’re his friends to but like I hate it bc they’re not talking to me pretty much at all throughout the day bc the only time I see person A and C person B is also there… it feels like he’s stealing my friends from me even my moirail (person A) is hanging out with him more and they don’t even like him so I feel left out completely I feel invisible and alone but not alone bc when I was alone it didn’t even feel this painful I just sit there in silence tears in my eyes but not letting them fall I stare off into space with one AirPod in trying to now ignore the outside world making little stories in my head with my f/os but in reality I just want my moirail to hug me and let me know everything’s alright and that I’m not losing anyone and that if I were to kill myself they would care they would be upset by it stuff like that but no nothing. I haven’t been able to do any school work bc of my mental state even if I take my meds (adhd meds I should probably clarify) which is weird bc my meds always keep me on track but not now ig fuck for example I have like 6 algebra assignments that become 0s tomorrow and I frankly just don’t care. When people I know tell me they don’t have tiktok i always laugh at them like c’mon it’s not that bad but it is it is that bad for example I posted a few videos of my face today and I got tons of comments fat shamming(which really helps my eating disorder but whatever),being called poor, and genuine trans + homophobia I have some pretty tough skin when it comes to these comments usually but if you haven’t noticed I’m a single problem away from violently killing myself so these comments got so bad that I had to private my account which in my 8-9 years on the internet i have never had to do. I think that’s it idk.

Oh there is actually one more thing I want to mention this happened months ago but has been pissing me off since so to put this lightly I had a dream where Murdoc from Gorillaz sexually assaulted me (yes Ik he would never do this but I can’t control my dreams) I have trauma when it comes to stuff like this bc I was sa’d as a child and I’m on the asexual spectrum so I don’t like to think of my f/os in a sexual light anyways I go to vent in my discord server that has all my friends in it looking for support (even though they were all asleep venting then makes me feel better) so I feel really dirty and sad bc again this was a sa related dream I post a kinda detailed version of the dream in #venting channel then Person B starts typing and replies with “nice fanfic” and I wish I fucking screenshoted that bc wtf dude it’s bc he’s never had/really heard about a sa situation i understand that but still why?

Vent Over

if you read this thanks ig it’s just nice to know an another living body knows my problems so I’m not necessarily suffering alone <3

TL;DR I really need a hug ffs

#jester’s venting again 😡#tw #trigger warning #vent #cw vent #depression #this probably seems like stupid teen stuff to a lot of people but to me it is very bad #thank god i have my comfort content #Spotify

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spine-buster · 4 years ago

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c a t c h i n g t h e l i g h t | elias pettersson

Summary: Eleven years into the future, Elias and Svea embark on their next adventure. They have tackled everything together in life thus far with the other by their side. Now, it’s time to add someone new.

Word Count: ~13k

A/N: I hope you all enjoy reading this epilogue to Elias and Svea’s story. This style of small snippet scenes was so fun to write and I hope you like it. This sort of acts as an update on Brock and Grace’s story 11 years into the future as well! Regardless, I love these two so much.

CW: difficult birth

11 years later. ___

“I’m ready,” Svea said one night when she and Elias were in the car alone, driving home from the Parkinson’s Foundation of British Columbia Gala that they’d been to every year for almost fifteen years now, hosted by Grace. They were holding hands across the centre console.

Elias knew he had to keep his eyes on the road since it was dark outside, but he made sure to look over at his wife. It was so out of the blue that he knew exactly what she meant. “You’re ready?” he asked, wanting to make sure he heard correctly.

She squeezed his hand gently as she nodded. “I’m ready.”

>< >< >< >< ><

“So you guys are trying?” Grace asked as she sipped on her iced coffee in the quaint coffee shop in Yaletown. She rocked Dukey in his stroller, now almost 18 months old and in his prime chubby glory, though he was already fast asleep and had been since the car ride in. The kid could sleep, that was for sure. It was a nice reprieve from all the sleepless nights he cost Grace and Brock at the beginning.

“Officially. Yes,” Svea nodded her head. She was already on special prenatal vitamins. Already off her birth control. Already monitoring her ovulation cycle. Already had a checkup with her doctor to make sure everything was in order. Already having sex with Elias nearly every moment of the day she could fit it in. Not that either of them complained about that point. Almost twelve years later of marriage and they were still insatiable for each other. Elias still joked they had to make up for lost time. “I’m not a fertile youngin’ like you were but I’m hoping it happens just as fast,” she commented.

Grace nodded her head. “I’m just a baby-making machine at this point, so ask me any question you want. You know nothing is off limits with me, or us.”

***

“Fill me up, Elias. Fill me up with your cum.”

Elias groaned at Svea’s words. He grabbed her hair and pulled her towards him so her back was flush against his chest, pounding into her at a different angle now as he felt close to his release too. He licked and bit at the skin of her neck before dragging his lips up to her ear. “You want my cum, pretty girl?”

“My pussy needs your hot cum, Elias. Please. Please. Fuck me deep. Fuck a baby into me.”

He snaked an arm around to her hot core and began rubbing at her clit, and after a few frenzied gasps and moans, Svea felt him explode inside of her, filling her up like she so craved and making her feel the greatest pleasure she had ever known. Her orgasm coursed throughout her whole body and made her knees weak – literally – as they slipped further and further apart. She would have almost fell back down face first onto the mattress if it wasn’t for Elias holding her up and letting her fall back onto his body instead. As they lay on their bed catching their breaths, his cock was still inside her as it softened. “Happy birthday, Elias,” she mumbled as she kissed him. This was only round two, and they were planning to go all night.

***

“Are you serious? You just went to the washroom like fifteen minutes ago,” Brock pestered Svea playfully as she stuck her tongue out at him, quickly walking into the washroom at the mall.

Elias was looking down at his phone. Pregnancy symptoms, he’d googled.

Increased urination. You might find yourself urinating more often than usual. The amount of blood in your body increases during pregnancy, causing your kidneys to process extra fluid that ends up in your bladder.

***

“Svea, you love isterband! You can’t get enough of it!” Elias protested.

“Did we get a bad batch? It smells heinous.”

“It smells delicious!” he protested. What she was saying was unbelievable to him. Usually, she had to be told to stop eating the delicious Swedish style sausage, especially when they were back in Ånge or Sundsvall having it, and especially when it was a homemade variety. But now she was making gagging noises.

“I’m gonna go to our room until it’s done,” she said as she got up from her seat at the dining table. Immediately, Stella got up and followed her. “Call me when it’s ready. Hopefully it will smell less heinous by then.”

Elias watched her and Stella walk away. He took out his phone again and opened up the internet, still on the same tab from more than a week ago at the mall with Brock and Grace.

Food aversions. When you're pregnant, you might become more sensitive to certain odors and your sense of taste might change. Like most other symptoms of pregnancy, these food preferences can be chalked up to hormonal changes.

“Sveeeeeaaaaa!” he called out.

***

Svea was holding Elias.

She let him cry. It was important to let him cry.

His face was nestled onto her stomach, and had been there for at least fifteen minutes. His arms were wrapped around her. Every so often, she’d feel him move to kiss her bare skin, and she’d be able to feel the wetness from his tear-stained cheeks.

“I’m so happy,” he mumbled. He’d been saying that since they got home from the doctor’s office, but there was something about this time, right now, that made Svea’s heart swell a thousand times its size. His tone, the softness, the tears, the position – everything was working in a way that made her so emotional. “I’m so, so happy,” he repeated.

“Me too,” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair slightly.

“I’m going to be a dad,” he said. He looked her in the eye. “I’m going to be a dad and you’re going to be a mom.”

She nodded slowly.

***

“So all the fucking worked, then,” Grace winked from the sink.

“You’re so crass,” Svea giggled as Dukey screamed at her for more food. He already had a grape in each chubby hand and was eyeing the scrambled eggs on Svea’s spoon like it was a filet mignon. She brought it towards him and he opened his mouth easily to eat it. “But yes, it all worked.”

“I mean, you guys fuck all the time so I wouldn’t be surprised. You guys still fuck like you’re in your twenties.”

“You’re really comfortable saying the f-word in front of your 18 month old.”

“He doesn’t understand words yet,” Grace dismissed her quickly, causing Svea to snort.

“And who are you to call me out? Clearly you and Brock still fuck like you’re in your twenties too,” Svea whispered the word fuck, referring to Grace and Brock’s giant brood.

“Are you guys going to find out what you’re having?” Grace asked.

Svea shook her head. “We both want it to be a surprise.”

“It’s more fun that way,” Grace agreed. “I’m betting on a boy.”

***

“Can you see it?” Svea asked as she looked at herself in the mirror, her body in a fitted dress. She switched to a side profile to see if she could see her bump better. It was small, and barely noticeable, but it was there.

“I can,” Elias nodded, coming up behind her.

“Do you think other people will see it?” she asked. “I want to show it off.”

Elias smiled. “Show it off?” he asked.

Svea nodded. “Grace said she think I’m going to be all belly – you know, like one of those women who just grows out instead of, like, around. I waited so long to have one. Now that I do, I want everyone to know.”

Elias’s smile overtook his face.

***

“Look at you!” Grace winked as Svea approached her, her bump styled in a tight dress that showed off the small but noticeable curve forming. “Work it, Svea!” Svea danced a little bit, boogieing from side to side as Grace began to do the same. Elias and Brock rolled their eyes at each other but smiled, too, their wives completely ignoring them at this point. “I was right, too! You’re all bump!” Grace exclaimed.

“For now,” Svea smiled. “I feel wider.”

“You don’t look it, but it doesn’t matter. Get as wide and as big as you want, woman. You’re pregnant with a baby.”

“And ask Petey to go and get you cans of tuna in olive oil at 2:30 in the morning,” Brock quipped. Grace shot him a look. “Five times,” he added for dramatic effect.

***

“You want some, Elias?” Svea asked as she stuffed a spoonful of strawberry flavoured frozen yogurt into her mouth.

“I’m okay,” he shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “You have what you want.”

“You sure?”

Elias nodded. He looked over at the clock – 3:00 in the morning. He had a practice tomorrow and she had work. But she had to have some strawberry frozen yogurt. She just had to. She needed it. Which is why Elias put on his winter jacket and a pair of shoes – but kept his pajama pants on – at 2:30 in the morning and made his way to their local 24-hour supermarket, buying her favourite frozen yogurt so she could eat it. It was all worth it, now that she was digging into it – sitting cross-legged on the bed, belly showing through her pajama shirt, eyes rolling to the back of her head every time she ate a spoonful. Now he realized what Brock meant. “It’s okay, pretty girl.”

“Just one spoon,” she said, already scooping it. She held it out to him and he smiled before he ate the spoonful. “Is it good?” she asked.

He nodded. “It’s better at three in the morning.”

She couldn’t help but giggle. She had the best husband. She wasn’t sure if others would have gone and gotten her frozen yogurt in the middle of the night. “I love you, Elias.”

“I love you too. Now give me another spoonful.”

***

“I love your cock so much Elias, fuck,” Svea sighed out.

He was much gentler these days. They both were. The doctor said it was completely safe and healthy but Elias was still…cautious. But when Svea woke up that morning placing small kisses on his shoulder, and then reached over and slipped her hand down his pajama pants, he couldn’t help himself. So he flipped around to face her, and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed, and he teased her already wet pussy with his fingers, and he hooked her leg over his torso and slipped into her easily, the both of them sighing, the both of them savouring the intimacy.

“Does it feel good?” he asked. She nodded quietly. “Does it feel different?”

“A little bit,” she nodded again, biting her bottom lip. “But a good different.”

Elias thrust harder. Svea let out a gasp. “I could bury my cock in your pussy all day,” he huffed out.

That made Svea smirk. “I’d let you.”

***

“You have to be patient.”

“I can’t be patient.”

“Well, you have to be.”

“You’ve been feeling them for a week now! I haven’t!”

“Just. Be. Patient.”

“But Svea—”

“Elias—”

They both stopped the second they felt it. It happened right where Elias’s hand rested on her growing belly. He almost couldn’t believe it happened at first, because to him, the feeling was so new. But when he realized what had just happened, and the magnitude of it, he looked up at Svea. She was already smiling. “Did you feel that?” he asked.

She nodded. “Poke where they just kicked. Trust me.”

Elias did as he was told. He poked. And poked again. Then he placed his hand on the spot.

He felt another kick.

Svea could hear a sharp intake of breath. When she looked at him next, he was already looking at her with tears welled in his eyes. “Svea…” he managed to get out, his voice cracking.

“I know, Elias. I know.”

A tear fell down his face.

***

“Svea, can I touch your belly?” Violet Boeser looked up at Svea, swaying her dress from side to side.

“Me too!” Rose Boeser joined in.

“Me three!” Lily Boeser pushed her sister to the side.

“Me four!” Poppy Boeser squeezed her way in. “Svea can I feel the baby?”

“Be gentle!” Grace called out from the picnic table. In the distance, Brock and Elias were barbecuing the hamburgers and hot dogs. Coolie, Milo, and Stella were all sunbathing near the barbecue. “Svea isn’t a science experiment!”

Svea snorted. “Yes girls, you can all feel the baby,” she smiled. Immediately, each of the girls’ hands covered her bump. Rose even put her head against her bump briefly. “The baby isn’t kicking right now but they might soon now that they feel all your hands,” Svea said.

“Are you having a boy or a girl?” Violet asked.

“I don’t know yet, Violet! It’s going to be a surprise.”

“Baaaaaaaa!” Dukey Boeser yelled from the picnic table. Once Grace set him down, he ran over to Svea as well, not wanting to feel left out now that his four older sisters were doing something he wasn’t. He put his tiny hands on top of Poppy’s and looked up at Svea. “Baaaaaa! Ba ba baby!”

“Yes! There’s a baby!” Svea grinned.

“And I’m gonna babysit!” Violet said.

“Me too!” Rose followed.

“Me three!” Lily joined.

“Me four!” Poppy finished it out, like she always did.

***

“Your placenta is a bit low, but it’s nothing to worry about,” the doctor said as she looked at Svea. “Have you been feeling any changes lately?”

“A lot more fatigue, to be honest,” Svea confessed. “I push through it because I’m still working, but when I get home I, like, barely move.”

The doctor nodded his head. “That’s normal. Fatigue in the second trimester is common. We’ll continue to monitor symptoms and monitor your placenta but it shouldn’t be a problem. But if symptoms get any worse, we’ll put you on bedrest.”

“Bedrest?”

“Bedrest. For your health. And the health of the baby.”

***

“Should we start thinking about names?” Svea asked as she lay on the couch, her head in Elias’s lap as he ran his fingers through her hair. Stella was sleeping in between her legs, letting out soft snores. “Do we want super-Swedish or super…something else?”

“This is going to be the hardest part, I think,” Elias commented before offering any suggestions. “I think something that translates well into both languages is best, don’t you think?”

Svea nodded her head. Whereas Fanny and Emil chose pretty traditional Swedish sounding names for their three boys, she knew they’d have to go the “translatable” route because of their Canadian/Swedish lifestyle. “Do you like Linnea?” she asked.

“I do, but I think it’s too popular in Sweden. I want something nice but something that stands out. There will be five other Linnea’s in her class,” Elias mused.

“So that’s Milo down the drain too, then…” Svea giggled slightly. “What about Freya?”

“Too…mythological.”

“Ivar?”

“No.”

“What about Astrid? I was going to be named Astrid, you know.”

Elias nodded. “I like Astrid. Astrid is good. Do you like Oskar?”

Svea nodded. “What about Erland, like your grandpa?”

“That’s a good middle name.”

***

Babysitting Violet, Rose, Lily, Poppy, and Dukey was good practice for Elias and Svea. They’d been doing it, really, since Violet was born, and then when Rose was added, and Lily was added, and Poppy was added, and Dukey was added…well, it all just became routine. The girls were great, and they put frilly headbands on Elias and did his makeup more times than they could count now. His favourite look was the blue and green eyeshadow they’d created, stolen from mommy’s collection in her room. The Canucks colours, obviously. He’d even posted the finished product on Instagram.

The girls also never had any trouble with bedtime, even when they were much smaller. But nowadays, Dukey did. Entering his “terrible twos” was proving to be quite the interesting time. But with the girls already in bed, it was easy for Elias and Svea to deal with him separately.

After tiring him out, Elias tried rocking him to get him to fall asleep, but he was still fussy. He kept reaching out to Svea. So Elias transferred him over, and Svea held him in her arms. “Whatsa matter?” she asked him in a sweet voice. “Does Dukey want to fall asleep?”

He fussed around for a bit more before settling down, laying his head on Svea’s shoulder. He was looking down, his face in a pout. “Baby,” he said, pointing lazily down to her bump. “Baby.”

“Yes, there’s a baby,” Svea cooed, rubbing his back. His eyes almost immediately began to droop. “But Dukey is a big boy now.”

“Yaaaaa. Dukey big boy.”

Elias watched as she continued to rub his back and coo sweet words to him as Dukey fell asleep in her arms. His hands were almost shaking, thinking about how in a few short months, they’d be doing the same thing for their own child.

***

Midsommar. Svea’s favourite time of year.

And now time for an impromptu baby shower.

Elias’s family tradition of renting a big tent on the lake was still going strong, and now, with so many new cousins and family members, the party was bigger and better than ever. Svea’s family and Elias’s family decided to incorporate a small celebration for the impending baby.

With her flower crown adorned on her head and some special gifts already opened, Elias sat down beside his wife and held her hand underneath the table. “Remember when we were young? What you did to me on the banks of the lake?”

She side eyed him. “Don’t even think about it.”

***

“Give me your hands, Svea, fuck,” Elias moaned as he watched her rock back and forth on top of him. She did as she was told, grabbing his hands to brace against so she could keep doing what she was doing. As she rocked herself back and forth, getting closer and closer to her climax, she tightened her grip on his hands. “Does it feel good, pretty girl?”

Svea nodded. “D’you still like what you see?”

“Always Svea. Always.”

***

Grace had gone all out. She was the perfect person to host Svea’s Vancouver baby shower when she returned from Sweden almost double the size from when she left. She’d invited the Canucks wives and girlfriends to her house. She’d had her sunroom and backyard decorated in the most adorable Peter Rabbit themed décor. Stella was dressed up with rabbit ears. She’d even thought of the cutest, most perfect party favours – mini champagne bottles with “She’s About to Pop!” adorned on it. And not the cheap champagne bottles, either. This was Grace.

Too bad Svea couldn’t have any.

Svea usually didn’t like being the centre of attention, but she was having the best time being the centre of attention at her baby shower. She opened her gifts, she played the games, she laughed her head off at the game where the girls had to measure her girth.

After pictures with the guests, Svea sat down in her chair. “This was the cutest baby shower,” Holly Horvat commented to her, nibbling on the last bit of her cupcake. “But you know what?”

“What?”

“Remember that movie Bridesmaids? Remember how they had puppies as the party favours?”

Svea giggled. “Yeah.”

“Grace should have gotten us all cute little bunnies.”

***

“So the rumours are true. You’re pregnant.”

Svea looked up from her phone to see Trevor waiting down the bar for his coffee, staring right at her as she finished telling the barista her order. From behind her, one of her co-workers muttered an ‘Ew’ at the sight of him. With good reason, since Trevor was Svea’s political arch-enemy. They came up in the political world at the same time, got promotions around the same time, and were forced to work in conjunction with one another – but never actually together. And they never got along, ever.

“Yes. I am,” Svea nodded her head once. “Fancy seeing you here, by the way. Isn’t your office on the other side of town?”

“We travel all over the city,” he said. His smarmy smile made her blood boil. He grabbed his coffee and made his way towards her. “Congratulations, by the way. I wish Elias a lot of luck. He’s going to need it.”

“Just like you after we decimated you in the election, I assume.”

His smarmy smile left his face.

***

The Boeser girls got so excited by the flashing lights in the arena, the season opener in full swing. They were clapping and screaming and jumping around on their jerseys as the announcer began to announce the team, knowing that their dad would be near the beginning because of his number six.

“At number six, Brrrrrroooock, Booooeeeseeerrr!” the announcer roared, the crowd roaring as well as the girls screamed at the top of their lungs for their dad. Dukey was clapping too, balanced on Grace’s hip and in his own little jersey. Svea couldn’t help but smile.

Eventually, when they got to Elias, she knew the camera would pan to her. A member of the press corps had seen her earlier. And while she and Elias never made a formal announcement on Instagram or anywhere else in terms of her pregnancy, it was now out in the open – especially since that reporter asked about it during the media scrum earlier that day. “Your wife Svea is pregnant now; is the focus at the beginning of this season for you on hockey or on the things happening at home?”

The audacity of that question being asked made her head spin.

Lily had already wrapped her arms around Svea’s legs, and like clockwork, they were shown on the jumbotron clapping. At that point, the 20,000-plus fans in the arena could see she was seven months pregnant. The bump protruded through the jersey. And when the fans realized, they got noticeably louder. Like, louder louder. Cheering, whistling, smiling – so much so it sent shivers down Svea’s spine.

She smiled from ear to ear.

***

“Happy birthday, my beautiful wife,” Elias mumbled against Svea’s lips. He’d been kissing her, slow and sensual, but also quick and fast – every type of kiss, really – for the last fifteen minutes. He’d just made her a homemade dinner, and now he was ready for, uh, dessert.

“This time next year I’ll be a mom to a ten-month-old,” she mused.

Elias smiled. “It feels like just yesterday that we surprised Grace and Brock,” he said.

“It’s been twelve years.”

“Still feels like yesterday,” Elias kissed her again. “My moon, my stars, my Svea.”

***

“I think it’s cutting it too close,” Elias mused as they lay in bed together, Svea’s bump widening the distance between them.

“Elias, I’m only thirty-six weeks,” Svea rationalized. “My mom carried Sigrid to almost 42 weeks and me right to 40. This baby isn’t coming out anytime soon.”

“But you’ve…grown so much in the last few weeks,” he said, laying a hand on the bump. “And you’ve been so tired, and the doctor’s appointments have to be weekly because of that and I just don’t—”

“Elias—”

“It’s fifteen days, Svea. I’ll just let them know it’s too close.”

“Elias,” Svea said sternly. “You’re going to the East Coast and that’s that. You’re going to get back and we’re going to celebrate your birthday and then we’re going to have this baby. In that order.”

***

If you looked, if you really looked at the video, you could see Elias being called off the bench at the beginning of the third period.

The announcers mentioned it after the fact. And when play stopped about two minutes later, they were able to show the replay. They went through some major points of his shift, spoke about how good it was, and then showed how he skated back to the bench and sat down. About fifteen seconds later, someone came barreling through the tunnel and was screaming Elias’s name, waving him over to get off the bench. Elias complied. The analysts wondered – there was no hit, no scuffle, no trip, no high stick, no fall, seemingly no injury, no penalty at all or anything even worth a penalty during the play, and a perfectly healthy Elias Pettersson was being rushed off the bench? What was going on?

The camera stayed on Elias speaking to the man in the tunnel. Nobody could lip read but everybody could see Elias run down the tunnel once the man spoke.

“What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“You need to get back to Vancouver. It’s Svea. She’s been rushed to the hospital and she’s lost a lot of blood.”

He was a six hour flight away in Florida.

***

There was blood everywhere. All over their bed. All over their sheets.

Svea called an ambulance. She called Grace screaming and wailing into the phone. She called her mom in Sweden crying. The pain was almost too much. The contractions were too. When the paramedics came, she was loaded into an ambulance and rushed to the hospital. “My husband. You need to call my husband. He’s in Florida playing hockey. He needs to be here. He—He—the baby—the baby—the baby—”

***

It was the worst six hours of Elias’s life. Eight hours really, from leaving the rink to getting off the plane and rushing to the hospital. Grace called in the last minutes before the flight took off to update him. Svea had placenta previa. That’s why there was so much spontaneous blood loss. The doctors had stopped the bleeding, but she’d needed a blood transfusion. It went fine. But now she was in labour. At 37 weeks.

“It’ll have to be a c-section,” Grace explained. “There was too much blood loss and too big a risk for more blood loss for a vaginal birth like Svea wanted. And I don’t – Petey – she will probably need a hysterectomy.”

“Hysta-what? What’s that?”

“They’re going to have to remove her uterus, Petey. This baby is going to be your only baby.”

***

Elias rushed to put on the scrubs provided by the nurses. He rushed to get back into the delivery room knowing that Svea had already had a blood transfusion. He rushed to be in the room to watch the doctor operate – literally operate on his wife – so that Svea could deliver the baby safely and have her hysterectomy.

***

Margot Pettersson.

They named her Margot Pettersson.

After all the blood, the fear, the frantic phone calls, the six-hour flight, the surgery, the operation – Margot was here. And she was healthy.

It took everything within Elias not to break down crying as he held her in his arms and lay in the hospital bed with Svea, who was recovering well considering the trauma and how much blood she lost. They couldn’t take their eyes off their daughter. She was perfect in every way, from the blonde hair on her head to her tiny, tiny, tiny little toes.

She was finally here.

***

It was a few days later when Svea felt confident enough to be in a photo – she didn’t “look like death” anymore, as she put it. Elias sent it to his teammates. He was on some brief phone calls with the powers that be on the Canucks for a statement and for some time off.

When he rejoined Svea in their hospital room as she fed Margot, he sat on the bed and wrapped an arm around his girls. “The bed,” she said suddenly, looking at him. “We have to buy a new bed. I can’t sleep in that bed anymore. All I’ll see is blood.”

“Grace and Brock already took care of it,” he said. “Everything is going to be fine when we get back home. I promise.”

***

The Vancouver Canucks organization would like to extend their congratulations to Elias and Svea Pettersson on the birth of their daughter, Margot. Mrs. Pettersson continues to recover in the hospital. Elias will be a healthy scratch for the next four games to ensure the health and well-being of his family.

***

Svea was on bed rest in their new bed, Stella’s snout resting on her post-partum belly. Elias never wanted to let go of Margot unless it was to put her back in Svea’s arms. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her, either. Even when Svea was breastfeeding. He found it to be the most beautiful thing in the world, watching his wife, who he loved so much, feeding and nourishing his daughter, who he loved so much.

He cuddled with them, snuggling into Svea’s side as he watched Margot. The little sounds she was making brought a smile to his face. He brought his hand up and caressed her head gently, the blonde hair atop her head perfectly combed.

“I finally have boobs now,” Svea whispered.

Elias snorted and Svea had a cheeky smile on his face. “I’ve always loved your boobs. Big or small.”

“Hmm, don’t I know it,” she hummed, giving him another kiss. She looked down at her daughter. “She’s perfect, isn’t she?”

“In every way.”

***

Elias’s birthday was much quieter this year. Well, quieter in the sense that there weren’t any friends in his house; quieter in the sense that he wasn’t at some hip restaurant downtown eating an incredibly expensive steak while sipping on an incredibly expensive glass of wine while he wore an incredibly expensive outfit and an incredibly expensive watch, watching his beautiful and sexy wife in an incredibly expensive dress sip sultrily on an incredibly expensive glass of wine as she eyed him up and grazed his leg with her heel under the table.

But this was still his favourite birthday ever.

Sitting on the couch, a warm bottle of pumped breastmilk in his hands, feeding his eight-day-old daughter.

His life was perfect.

***

“She looks like Petey,” Brock said as he held a swaddled Margot in his arms.

“They have to biologically, you know,” Grace jumped in. “But my god you two, her eyes are so damn blue. I mean I know that’s the Swedish thing and all, but they’re sooo blue.”

“I know,” Elias smiled. “Even the doctor mentioned it during one of her checkups. She’ll have a beautiful set of eyes, that’s for sure. Just like her mom.”

Svea swooned. She watched as Brock craned his neck down and placed a quick kiss atop Margot’s head. “Getting baby fever again, Brock?” she winked at him.

“No no no, five is plenty,” he chuckled. “I just love that newborn baby smell.”

Svea, Elias, and Grace let out the all-knowing “Oooooh” sound in agreement. “You’re so right, babe,” Grace nodded. “It’s the best smell in the world.”

***

“God, I missed this,” Svea said as she took a huge gulp of crisp, clean Vancouver air. It was her first time outside with Stella in weeks, now that she was off bedrest and fully recovered from her c-section and hysterectomy. Her doctor had okayed light physical activity, so she’d invited Grace and Dukey over for a short walk around the neighbourhood. Grace had obviously agreed, and had brought Coolie and Milo along.

“Me too. You’ll be back running and doing yoga in no time,” Grace said, remembering some of their jaunts over the years where Grace would bring out Violet, or Rose, or Lily, or Poppy on walks or runs in their strollers too. When she finished strapping Duke in, and made sure he had his snacks, she rose to her feet. “You feel good?”

Svea nodded. “We just have to go slow. And I can do maximum half an hour.”

“I’ll go as slow as you want me to,” Grace said. She peeked into Margot’s stroller and noticed she was already asleep. Her son, on the other hand, was screaming about his grapes. “Let’s hope Dukey’s grapes last the entire time.”

***

Did Elias and Svea go all out for Margot’s first Christmas? Yes.

Did Svea dress her up in a red dress, green shoes, frilly headband, and reindeer antlers? Yes.

Did Svea dress her up in an elf outfit, complete with curled shoes? Yes.

Was there a portrait with the new family and Santa Claus? Yes.

Did Elias and Svea send the pictures to their family members, co-workers, and every teammate? Yes.

Did it get leaked to the media? Yes.

***

“She’s gonna start her chubby phase soon,” Brock said as he held Margot in his arms, feeding her with a bottle, as Elias sautéed some mushrooms on a skillet as part of their lunch. “She’s eighteen weeks now?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s the best,” Brock said. “They got so chunky. So squishy. I swear I went crazy for every one of them.”

“Margot was born at 37 weeks though. We might have to wait a little bit longer.”

“Well, call me the second you start noticing chunk,” Brock said. “I’ll be over here in a heartbeat.”

***

“There was a lot of blood.”

Elias held Svea in his arms as they lay down in bed together after one of Margot’s middle-of-the-night feedings. Margot had been really fussy and took a while to be put down and fall asleep again; Svea had been unable to go back to sleep herself once she was in bed, tossing and turning and not even being able to keep her eyes closed. Even Elias’s cuddling wasn’t helping, which meant something was on her mind and keeping her restless. So he’d asked her what was wrong.

And that��s what she responded with.

He knew immediately what she meant. Ever since that day, when he was called off the bench and rushed back to Vancouver, he’d beaten himself up for not being there, as a husband should have been for his wife, as she went through such a traumatic event. It traumatized him, but that didn’t even take into consideration how much it traumatized her. That’s what really mattered here. She still had to deal with it. She still had to see it in her mind when she closed her eyes. She had the memory, not him.

It killed Elias inside knowing Svea had to carry that burden with her.

“You were so strong, though. And your strength gave us our daughter,” he said.

Svea nodded slightly before she looked at her husband. “Were you scared? When they told you, I mean. When you were rushed off the bench.”

Elias nodded his head immediately. “I was terrified.”

“Of what?”

“That I was going to lose you and the baby,” he admitted. “Were you scared?”

“I was,” Svea said. “Do you…are…are you angry we can only have one?”

“Why would I be angry?” he was beside himself at her question.

“I don’t know. I just…are you angry we didn’t have a boy? Or that we can’t have a son in the future? Or another daughter? Are you angry I wasn’t healthy enough to—”

“Stop it right now,” he ordered. Tears were falling down his face at her words. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted and needed in my life. Do you understand me? Everything.”

Svea was crying now too. “You’ve just been so good to me, Elias. I want to give you everything too, like you always give me.”

“You already have,” he whispered, kissing her, feeling her tear-stained cheeks on his.

***

“You want to hold the baby, Violet?” Svea asked quietly as the Boeser girls looked at tiny Margot resting in Svea’s arms. Violet nodded her head desperately and outstretched her hands automatically. “You have to sit on the couch, baby girl,” Svea said, and Violet did as she was told.

Svea extended her arms and passed Margot to her slowly. “Put your arm up,” she said. “You have to support her head.” Violet nodded. Margot fussed a little bit, but once she was in Violet’s arms, she stopped.

Violet smiled. “Hello Margot,” she said in a soft voice, smiling.

“Hello Margot,” Rose mimicked in the same voice.

“Hello Margot,” Lily mimicked in the same voice.

“Hello Margot,” Poppy mimicked in the same voice.

All at the same time, the girls leaned forward and placed light kisses onto Margot’s face.

Svea couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear.

***

“Look at my beautiful baby girl,” Elias cooed as he finished changing Margot’s diaper, buttoning up her little onesie as she wiggled on the change table, looking up at him with her big blue eyes. “Hällo Margot! Hällo!”

She gurgled happily. Elias chuckled as he finished the last of the buttons, eventually scooping her up in his arms carefully and holding her against his chest. She settled in quickly, calming herself down as Elias walked from her nursery to his bedroom. Just as he walked in, Svea walked out of their ensuite bathroom with a robe on, drying her hair with a towel. When she saw her husband and daughter, she smiled automatically.

“Hello my loves,” she whispered, approaching them slowly. At the sight of Svea, Margot gurgled happily again, even waving her arms up and down once excitedly. “Hello Margot! Hello my beautiful baby!”

“Beautiful baby had a stinky diaper this morning,” Elias griped jokingly.

Svea laughed, placing a light kiss on top of Svea’s head. “Making daddy change the stinky ones? Good baby.”

***

Margot’s first game, after she got all of her appropriate vaccinations, was against the Toronto Maple Leafs. Elias and Svea made sure to go to the arena early so that his teammates could see her before the game. Even Elias’s friend William Nylander from the Leafs was able to pop over and congratulate the couple. Svea appreciated the gesture, since she knew how busy he was.

“Oh my Gooooooddddd,” Holly cooed as she saw Margot dressed up in a little Vancouver Canucks jersey. “The baby jersey! The baby jersey! Can Gunnar be this small again?!”

Svea laughed as Holly clutched at her heart. Bo smiled from ear to ear when he noticed, too. “She’s adorable, Svea.”

“Thanks, Bo.”

“Bo, remember when Gunnar was that small?” Holly asked her husband. She then wrapped her arms around his one arm, looking up at him sweetly. “Can we have another one, Bo? Please?”

“Holly.”

***

Svea hauled some of the grocery bags – the lighter ones, at least – inside the house. She would leave the other ones for Elias. He’d probably get angry that she brought in the light groceries, anyway. He always brought things in – ever since her surgery, at least. But she was feeling almost back to normal now, and she wanted to start contributing more again.

“Elias?” she called out. No answer. She set the grocery bags down in the laundry room and made her way into their house. “Elias?” she called out again.

It was only then when he heard loud, screaming giggles coming from the family room. Following the giggles, Svea heard the sound of raspberries being blown against skin, and an orchestra of loud, happy giggles again, this time from both Margot and Elias.

She smiled to herself. As she walked further into the house, turning a corner, she looked into the family room to find Elias on his knees in front of the couch, Margot on the cushion in between his arms in just a diaper, and him blowing raspberries on her tummy. Margot was laughing and wiggling in pure happiness. And when Svea’s presence caught Elias’s eye, he looked up. “Hey baby,” he smiled, before diving in one more time to blow raspberries.

Svea’s heart swelled.

***

“You and Elias deserve a nice Valentine’s Day date,” Grace said before taking a sip of her water. “How about Brock and I watch Margot for the night and you two go out for a nice dinner?”

Svea loved the idea, but she was still a bit apprehensive. It would be the first night away from Margot. And though she trusted Brock and Grace more than anyone else in Vancouver with Margot, it would still be a lot for her, at least mentally. She assumed it would be the same for Elias. “I’ll mention it to Elias, and we’ll think about it,” she said.

Grace eyed her. “Don’t think about it, just do it. I know it’s hard to think about, but time away from the baby will do you both some good. It’s necessary. It’s healthy. It’s hard but it’s healthy.”

***

“This steak is delectable,” Svea commented as she forked another slice of her filet into her mouth.

Elias nodded from across the table. “The wine, too. It was a good choice,” he said before he took a sip. He looked lovingly at his wife and smiled before he set his wine glass down. “D’you miss Margot like I do?”

Svea giggled and nodded her head. “I do. But I’m enjoying our Valentine’s Day date,” she said. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world.”

“Me neither,” he reached across the table to grab her hand.

***

Elias and Stella walked into the bedroom quietly, Elias holding mugs of tea in both hands. He saw Svea sitting up, looking down peacefully at Margot whom she was breastfeeding. Svea grabbed the mug from Elias and took a quick sip before setting it down on the nightstand. Elias climbed into the bed, Stella following, and nestled in close with his two girls, gently stroking Margot’s blonde hair.

“Thank you for the tea,” Svea said softly, looking at him before pursing her lips slightly, signaling she wanted a kiss.

Elias gave her one easily. His lips lingered on hers, giving her small, quick kisses. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted,” he whispered huskily. “The least I could do is bring you tea.”

“Hmmm,” Svea hummed happily. “Can I suggest some other things you can do tonight?”

Elias smirked.

***

“Look here little Margot! Look here!” the photographer cooed as her assistant jingled some bells to get the attention of the baby, dressed up in the cutest little dress and tights. Margot babbled slightly and smiled at the noise. Elias could hear the shutter of the camera go off like crazy.

“Her eyes are showing up spectacularly on camera,” the photographer commented. “What a beautiful colour they are.”

Elias and Svea continued to smile throughout the photoshoot. Then, when they had to take a break, they changed Margot into a different outfit and went outside to take some more pictures. After a second break, they changed Margot into her last outfit before going to their bedroom and finishing the photoshoot.

“The photos should be ready for you in a few weeks, after editing,” the photographer said as she packed away her equipment. By this point, Margot was fast asleep on Elias’s shoulder, her chubby cheeks amplified. “She’s a cutie, you guys. I mean, just adorable.”

Elias smiled, placing a soft kiss atop Margot’s head. “She’s my little princess.”

***

At a cute little café in Yaletown, Svea pushed her stroller back and forth to rock Margot to sleep. Svea hadn’t gotten any sleep last night thanks to her daughter, and Elias being away on a road trip didn’t help matters. Svea knew babies went through sleep regression – Margot had been a fantastic sleeper, save for the last two weeks – but she wondered how long this would last. She was trying everything she could, but Margot wasn’t sleeping.

When Grace arrived without any of her kids in tow, looking especially stylish with a cute hat and thigh-high boots, Svea waved her down. Grace waved back and waited in line to order her coffee.

“You look like you haven’t slept,” Grace commented as she set her coffee down on the table and sat in the seat opposite Svea.

“That’s because I haven’t,” Svea admitted. She hadn’t even bothered to put on makeup this morning. “Margot kept me up all night. She was so fussy, Grace.”

Grace furrowed her brows. “Do you have milk with you?” she asked.

Svea nodded. “Of course I do. In the bag.”

Grace nodded, getting up from her seat. “Come on. We’re going home.”

“Wait—what—”

“We’re going back to my house, and you’re sleeping, and I’ll watch and feed Margot.”

Svea could cry.

***

“Look. At. The. CHUNK!!!!!” Brock practically screamed as he looked over Elias’s shoulder as Elias finished putting a new diaper on Margot, who was wiggling happily and cooing at seeing Brock’s face over her dad’s shoulder. “Look at you! Look at your chunk! Look at it!” Brock kept repeating.

“Brock—”

“What’re you gonna do with all these rolls? What’re you gonna do with all these rolls?!”

“Brock—”

“You gonna open a bakery? You gonna open up a bakery with all these rolls?”

“BROCK!”

“WHAT?!”

“Get me her blanket!”

Brock moved to the side and reached over to get the soft blanket he knew Elias wanted. “You don’t have to be so mean,” he grumbled at his best friend.

***

“Look, Svea! Look! Look!” Elias’s voice was frantic as he called Svea over from the kitchen. He could hear her footsteps as she rushed over to the family room. “Look!”

Svea looked at Elias on his stomach on the floor, a few feet away from Margot who was also on her tummy. She’d hit the traditional milestone of rolling over a bit early – four months in, instead of five – and now, at just over six months old, Svea watched as Margot started creeping along the floor, moving closer and closer to her dad as he kept wiggling further and further away.

“Eeeeeeh!” she would cry out in complaint of her seemingly not getting closer to her dad. “Eeeeeh!”

“Come on Margot! Just a little bit more!” Elias smiled wide.

She creeped some more, and when she was finally close enough, Elias began peppering her face with kisses. She giggled at the feeling and screeched with happiness when he picked her up and held her in his arms. “Baby’s on the move,” he smiled at Svea.

She nodded her head. “We’re not gonna be able to sit down anymore.”

***

“Where do you think you’re going, missy?” Svea asked playfully as she watched Margot crawl along the hardwood floor of the kitchen. Her chunky rolls filled out her avocado-printed onesie she was wearing as she made a beeline for the sunlight coming through the sliding door.

“Aaaaaeeeeeeee!” Margot squeaked at the sound of her mother’s voice, looking back.

“Where are you going?” Svea asked.

“Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!”

��Eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaa!” Svea mimicked, knowing she should be mimicking the sounds for Margot’s development. She grabbed her phone off the counter and walked around her, crouching down on the floor and opening her camera for a video. “Come on Margot! Let’s show daddy how you can crawl!”

“Aaaaaaaadadada!!” she said, continuing her babbling and crawling as she made her way against the hardwood floor and towards the camera.

Later, when Svea held Margot on hip as she fixed a quick bowl of raspberries as a snack, she sent the video to Elias. His response was almost immediate.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

***

“She’s cruising now,” Svea explained on the phone to Grace. “Like, she can stand, but the second she takes a step she’s too wobbly and falls down. But if she’s got the couch or the coffee table, she’s okay.”

“She’s going to be walking soon,” Grace said confidently. “You guys think you weren’t able to sit down once she started crawling? Well, good luck now,” she giggled.

“I don’t know how you did this three times in a row while pregnant with the next,” Svea admitted. “Crouching down, picking her up, over and over and over again…all that with a bump? You’re superwoman, Grace.”

“I’m not superwoman, I’m just a mom,” Grace said. “For going what you went through to deliver her, you’re superwoman too, you know.”

***

“Come to daddy, Margot. Come to daddy,” Elias beckoned as he sat with his arms and legs outstretched about six feet away from Svea, who was holding Margot up by just her hands. All of the videos Svea had sent him over the last road trip of Margot trying to walk and then falling made him want to practice once he got home. He refused to see his daughter’s first steps over an iPhone video, and Svea understood that completely.

“Go to daddy,” Svea whispered in her daughter’s ear as she let go of her hands.

Margot wobbled a bit, took a cautionary first step, then a second, and at her parent’s excited voices, she smiled and continued with her steps, reaching Elias who was so elated with joy that he scooped her up in his arms and peppered her chubby face with kisses. Svea could see tears escaping his eyes as he repositioned his daughter, holding her up again by her hands, and encouraging her to walk to Svea. Some more wobbly steps and a mid-distance squat later, Margot was back in Svea’s arms, getting more kisses.

They had a walker.

***

“Your costumes are sooooo awesome, girls!” Svea cooed as she looked at Violet, Lily, Rose, and Poppy dressed up in their witch costumes as she entered the Boeser house. “Are you girls ready to go trick-or-treating?”

The four girls nodded their heads excitedly. “What’s Margot dressed up as?!” Violet asked.

“You’ll see when Elias brings her in,” Svea smiled, watching as Dukey, dressed up as Buzz Lightyear came running towards the door. “Hi Dukey!”

“I Buzz Lightyear!” he screamed excitedly. “Look!” he turned around to show off the wings of the costume. He raised his hand in the air. “Iffity and blonde!”

“To infinity and beyond!” Svea copied him.

Before they could go any further, Elias walked through the door with Margot in his arms and her diaper bag over his shoulder. “Hello girls,” Elias greeted them. “Nice costumes! Look at Svea’s!”

The four girls cooed at her, admiring her in her cute little costume. “Mooooooom! Svea’s a strawberry!”

From inside the house, Elias and Svea could hear Grace scream in delight.

***

“Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy to you! Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy to you! Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy dear Maaaaarrrgggooooottt! Haaaaaappy Birthdaaayyyyy to you!”

Margot was smiling from ear to ear as she giggled and clapped excitedly as everyone sang to her. Her first birthday party was a hit – Irene and Torbjorn were able to come in from Sweden, Emil and Fanny were Zooming in with their kids, and practically the entire team and their kids were over the Pettersson house celebrating the big day.

“Blow, Margot! Blow!” Elias bent down so he was at the same eye-level as his daughter in her high chair. He showed her how to do it before watching as she tried to mimic him. “Blow!”

Instead, Margot made a loud fart noise with her mouth.

Everyone laughed hysterically. Elias could hear Brock scream “I hope someone got that on video!” Elias watched as Svea bent down to be at eye-level with Margot too. “On three! One, two three! Blow!”

***

“Say mama. Mama,” Elias said as he lay on his back on the couch and hat Margot sitting on his chest. “Mama. Mommy.”

“Dada.”

“No, no dada. Mmmmmmmaaaammmmmmaaaaa,” he emphasized. “Mama!”

“Dada!”

“MAMA!”

“DADA!”

“Elias!” Svea yelled from the kitchen. “You can’t force her words.”

Elias grumbled. “Mama,” he said, much quieter so Svea wouldn’t hear. “Mama.”

“DADA!”

***

“Gröt,” Svea cooed as she spooned some more oatmeal into a spoon. It was already all over Margot’s face and hands, Margot loving every spoonful. Her big blue eyes looked at the spoon excitedly. “This is gröt, Margot. Gröt.”

“Do we really want Margot’s first Swedish word to be oatmeal?” Elias laughed as he joined his girls at the table, setting his mug of coffee down and placing Svea’s tea beside her on the table.

“It’s at least a single syllable,” Svea mused. She looked back at Margot, who had just swallowed the spoonful of oatmeal and was pointing at Elias taking a sip of his coffee. “Gröt. Gröt!” Svea repeated. “Gröt!”

Margot pointed emphatically. “Fika!” she said suddenly. Svea’s and Elias’s jaws dropped. “Fika!”

Elias snorted from behind Svea. “Fika. Of course her first Swedish world would be fika.”

***

“If I’m going to go back to work – I mean, I am, it’s not a question – we need to find a good daycare,” Svea said, eyes focused on her laptop screen as Margot was napping.

“More important than the daycare, Svea, is if you’re ready,” Elias cautioned. “Are you ready to go back to work?”

Svea had thought about it a lot – she really did. Being at home with Margot was amazing, of course – it was the best thing ever, and she valued every millisecond – but she was ready to return to her career. It wasn’t that she had a duty or an obligation to, or that she was feeling forced or pressured or put it on herself to be a do-it-all working mother. She just…genuinely felt like it was the right thing to do for her. Svea never saw herself as a stay-at-home-mother, even though she and Elias had boatloads full of money and she was told by co-workers, well-meaning-but-ultimately-offensive-friends, and random people that she didn’t need to work. “I’m ready,” she nodded her head. “I know it’s not going to be the same as it was before, that I won’t be working as hard, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’ve already perfected my role. I’ve already won an election for my party. But I still…I still want to work.”

Elias nodded his head. He knew Svea meant every word. And who was he to say no? There was no way. He never held Svea back before, and he wasn’t going to start now. “Then let’s look at daycares.”

***

“Every daycare we’ve been to, I haven’t gotten the best feeling,” Svea admitted to Grace as she was over her house for coffee. Dukey and Margot were playing in their playpen in eyeshot as the women spoke about their lives. “And it’s not me being…me. I can’t picture Margot there. I just can’t. And it’s not me being picky either. We even brought her to our favourite place to see if she’d like it and she was wailing the entire time.”

Grace was nodding in understanding, but the second Svea mentioned picturing Margot in a daycare, the lightbulb went off in her brain. “Svea, why don’t I watch her every day?”

Svea was taken aback. “W—What?”

“What if I watched her? I’m already home with Dukey anyway. And you know Margot is comfortable here at the house, and she knows me. What if I watched her?”

Svea shook her head. “Grace, no. No. I couldn’t do that to you—”

“You’re not doing it to me if I’m offering,” Grace said. “You know how much I love kids. It would be so fun for me! And for Dukey! And you know how much the girls adore her so when they get home from school you know they’ll be all about it too. Will you promise me you’ll at least think about it?”

***

--- OFFICE OF THE PREMIER OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE ---

The Office of the Premier would like to formally thank Mitchell Maloney for fulfilling his duties as the acting chief of staff for the past eighteen months. The office would like to formally announce that Maloney will be assigned the role of Deputy Communications Director, effective two weeks from today, as he transfers out of his position.

The Office of the Premier would like to formally welcome back Svea Pettersson from her maternity leave. Pettersson will continue to fulfill her duties as the Premier’s Chief of Staff moving forward.

***

“Oooooooooohhhhh fuuuuuuck, Elias,” Svea moaned, looking over her shoulder at Elias who had just slipped into her from behind. “Feels so good baby.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Svea nodded. “I love it when you fuck me from behind.”

She could hear Elias let out a low chuckle. He began moving in and out of her slowly, almost too slowly, because Svea groaned, and Elias watched as she grabbed at their bedsheets, making her knuckles white. “Fuck me, Elias.”

“What’s that, pretty girl?” he asked mischievously.

“Fuck me, Elias. Fuck me harder,” Svea begged.

Elias bent over, placing kisses along her shoulders before nestling his head in the crook of her neck so he could whisper in her ear. “I fucking love it when you beg.”

***

“Can you say bye-bye to Mama? Bye bye!” Grace cooed as she bent down to be at level with both Margot and Svea who was already bending down, having kissed her daughter for a solid two minutes, unable to leave just yet. “Say bye-bye!”

“Bye bye Margot! You be good for mommy!” Svea cooed, her voice cracking as she began waving her hand so Margot could mimic her. “Bye bye!”

“Bah-bah!” Margot clasped her hand open and closed. “Bah-bah!”

“Bye-bye!” Svea wiped a tear that had fallen from her eye. She stood up, and Grace followed, picking up Margot and balancing her on her hip. “Please call me if—”

“I will, I will,” Grace interrupted. “Please don’t worry. I’ve got it. Enjoy your first day at work knowing your daughter is safe and having fun.”

“I’m definitely gonna try…can’t guarantee it’ll happen,” Svea tried to joke.

***

“Go like this Margot! Like this!” Elias said as he was on his knees, clutching a mini-stick, trying to show Margot how to hit the ball into the little hockey net they purchased months ago, which inevitably became the one thing that helped Margot learn how to walk the most.

Margot watched intently as her dad gripped the mini stick and hit the ball into the net, fetching to get it before placing it in front of her. “Shoot! Shoot!” he encouraged, making a swooping motion with the stick.

Margot looked down at the ball, and in one swift movement, she brought her mini-stick down and hit it straight into the net. Elias went wild. He began screaming and clapping and raising his hands in the air, causing Margot to start screaming and clapping and raising her hands up in the air too. He swooped her up in his arms and gave her raspberry-style kisses, causing her to shriek and giggle loudly and controllably. “Margot wins the game! Margot wins the game!” he screamed in between kisses.

Svea could hear them from upstairs as she read over some work documents for tomorrow. She felt her heart swell with love.

***

“Who knew when we were twenty and lame that we’d be surrounded by this many girls,” Brock mused, cracking open a can of beer for Elias. Both men looked out onto Elias’s backyard to see Violet, Rose, Lily, Poppy, and Margot all playing together, blowing bubbles and trying to catch them without popping them. Margot was always unsuccessful, but she was having the time of her life.

Elias nodded his head. “We’re a pair of pretty lucky guys though,” he commented.

Brock nodded his head, looking at his four daughters. “The luckiest guys in the world.”

Later in the afternoon, when Margot had to go down for her nap, Elias was rocking her back and forth as she fell asleep on his shoulder. Rose was quiet as she stood with him in the room, keeping a watchful eye and making sure Svea was falling asleep. When Elias laid Margot down on the bed, Rose finally spoke. “Uncle Petey?”

“Yes Rosey?”

“Can Margot be my sister?”

Elias smiled. “I think she already is.”

***

“I’m actually gonna sob. She looks so cute,” Svea commented as Elias finished putting on Margot’s toddler skates. Margot was bundled up in a blue jacket with green tights, the colour of the Canucks, and her helmet was already placed securely on her head. “You excited, Margot?”

“Yaaa!” she squeaked out, smiling at her mom. “Skate!”

“Yes! We’re going skating!” Elias cooed, picking her up and placing her on his hip as he and Svea began their walk towards the ice.

Svea made sure to get her phone ready on video mode, knowing she’d been taking tons and tons of videos. Most of the Canucks and their families were already on the ice, but Margot had had a mini meltdown when the helmet was put on, which delayed them. Elias stepped onto the ice, keeping Margot on his hip as he skated around quickly, making her laugh hysterically. Eventually, he carefully set her down on the ice, crouching down slightly behind her. She began moving her feet as if she was walking, with Elias holding her hands above her head.

“Look at mommy Margot! Say hi to mommy!” Elias said as Svea followed them, skating backwards slowly, filming a video on her phone.

“Hiiiiiii!” Margot said, smiling through the wire. “Hiiiiii!”

“Hi baby! Look at you skating!” Svea cooed as she continued the video. “Look at you go!”

Margot squealed excitedly, looking back up at her dad who was smiling down at her as well. “Skate! Skate!”

***

“Let’s hope she knows how to blow this time and doesn’t fart again,” Brock commented as he helped Elias light the candles on Margot’s 2nd birthday cake.

“We’ll see,” Elias giggled. “We haven’t practiced.”

Brock carried the cake so Elias could be beside Margot and Svea. Everybody began singing happy birthday, and when he placed the cake in front of Margot, she clapped and wiggled excitedly. Once everyone finished singing, it was time to see. “Blow, Margot! Blow!” Grace called out.

She took a deep breath in. She looked like she was going to do it on her own. And then…

Fart noise.

Everybody burst out into hysterical laughter. “Two-for-two!” Brock screamed.

***

“Margot…Margot, look here,” Svea said as she balanced her on her knee, reading her a book since she’d requested it. “Look here,” she pointed at the words at the bottom of the page.

Margot reached her hands out and pulled the book closer to her eyes. Svea noticed her squinting until she brought the book really close to her face. She put her finger above her mom’s and pointed to the animal on the page. “Monkey!” she said.

Svea felt worry pool in the pit of her stomach. She pushed the book back to its original distance away from Margot and turned the page. “What’s this, Margot?” she asked again.

Margot reached out again to bring the book close to her eyes. “Monkey in tree!”

“Good job, baby,” Svea cooed, closely watching her daughter. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe Margot was just tired. But Svea knew she was going to mention it to Elias when he got home. “You’re so smart, baby.”

***

They were pink, naturally, because Margot got to choose and she was all about anything pink. Elias was worried they would bother her, or she wouldn’t like them, or put up a giant fit once they were finally on and she realized she had to wear them all the time. He’d shed a tear or two about it, worried like any father would be. But Margot was taking to them surprisingly well.

“Look, Margot!” Margot’s optometrist smiled as she held up a mirror for Margot to see herself. “These are your new glasses! They’re for you!”

“PINK!” Margot exclaimed, swinging her feet excitedly as she saw herself in the mirror.

“Yes, they’re pink!”

Margot looked up at her dad; she was sitting on his lap, after all. Her giant smile with her little teeth caused him to smile too. “Pink, daddy!”

“What’s this, Margot?” the optometrist had already opened a book and held it open a way’s away from Margot. “What’s this right here?” she pointed to Big Bird on the page.

“Big Bird!”

***

Elias groaned as he finally slipped his hard cock into Svea. They had been spooning in bed for what felt like hours that morning, waking up well before Margot usually did. Elias could hear Svea groan at his length filling her up from behind, and she savoured the feeling of him peppering kisses on the backs of her shoulder blades. “Good morning, pretty girl,” Elias mumbled coarsely in her ear as he thrust in and out of her slowly.

“G’morning, baby,” Svea smiled. She felt Elias’s hand snake up from her hip to her breast, cupping it in his hand. “I could get used to waking up with your hard cock inside of me.”

“Mmm, be careful what you wish for, pretty girl.”

“I know exactly what I’m wishing for.”

Elias began moving his hips more, making sure he was getting exactly the right angle even though their movement were still slow and purposeful; when Svea began moaning, closing her eyes when they rolled to the back of her head, he knew what he was doing was exactly what she wanted and needed. “I love you so fucking much,” she mumbled out, putting her hand over his that was still cupping her breast.

“I love you too,” he placed a tender kiss on her neck. “Thank you for giving me everything I’ve ever needed.”

Svea smiled at that, biting down on her bottom lip. “The pleasure’s been all mine.”

***

On a beautiful, hot, and sunny afternoon in Ånge, Elias couldn’t help but smile as he watched his dad hold Margot as they swam in the pool together at his parents’ house. Margot was having the time of her life in the water – after the baby swimming classes Svea had signed her up for, Elias figured she’d be happy and in her element. His dad couldn’t get enough of being a grandpa to a little girl, and neither could his mom. They spoiled all of their grandchildren. Törbjörn had even bought Margot a little bucket hat with the Swedish flag on it to wear while they were in the pool.

“Gillar du att stänka vattnet?” his dad cooed as Margot splashed the water with her hands. “Tänk om jag gjorde det här?” he asked again, throwing her up in the air and catching her low enough so she could splash in the water. Margot shrieked in delight, and that was enough reason for Törbjörn to continue.

Elias laughed along with his daughter. She had the best grandpa.

***

“Look at all the pretty flowers Margot,” Svea said as she held Margot against her hip, watching Elias as he crowned her with a beautiful flower crown that Fanny helped him make.

“Woooowww,” Margot said, grabbing at it because she was so excited.

“Gentle!” Elias warned softly. He didn’t want it to break after Fanny worked so hard on it. “Be gentle, Margot,” he repeated as he made sure it was on snugly and properly before pulling his hands away.

“My flower! My crown!” she smiled. “Daddy, you have flowers too?”

Elias eyed Svea with a smirk on his face. Svea knew he’d already crumbled. All it took was that question from Margot. He hadn’t exactly planned on wearing a flower crown, but he knew exactly where this was headed now. “You want daddy to wear flowers too?”

Margot nodded her head enthusiastically. “Mommy, daddy, me match!”

What Margot wanted; Margot got.

***

“It would be the first picture we’ve posted of her since the Christmas card photos leaked,” Elias mused as he looked at the picture on his Instagram, almost, almost ready to hit the elusive ‘post’ button.

“We didn’t release those – they were posted without our consent,” Svea clarified. She was right. They had no control over that and were actually really upset about it. To this day, they still don’t know who did it. “This would be the first photo you post of her willingly.”

Elias looked over at his wife. “Do you think I should do it? It’s so fucking cute,” he looked back at his phone, admiring the picture one more time.

In it, Margot was in her pink fluffy bathrobe, her wet hair combed back, and she was sitting on Elias’s chest as they were in bed together. Elias was holding her, pursing his lips, and Margot was putting lip balm on his lips. A classic “girl dad” photo, he thought. And if he was going to send any message out into the world about his child and the relationship he had with her, it was going to be what was encapsulated in this picture.

Svea snuggled herself into Elias’s side, bringing her hand up and pressing ‘post’ for him. “There,” she said, smiling. “All done.”

***

“When she blows out the candles, she better fart again.”

“You’re gross.”

“She’s gotta go three-for-three, Petey, or else this party is a bust.”

“You have a boy – can’t you go make fart jokes with him?”

“I have a boy who has grown up with four older sisters. He isn’t exactly one for fart jokes.”

Elias shook his head at Brock, but he couldn’t help the smirk that grew on his face. “You finally get a boy after four girls and you can’t even make a fart joke with him,” he shook his head playfully. “Just your luck, eh?”

Brock shook his head. “I have five healthy, beautiful kids. I’ll take whatever I get.”

When Elias carried the cake in and Brock began recording on his phone, everybody began singing happy birthday to Margot – a happy, energetic but cautious, giggly but quiet, exactly-like-both-her-parents’-temperaments-it-was-kind-of-scary-three year old, who every day was looking more and more like Elias’s double. She adjusted her glasses as everyone sang to her, and clapped along too. When it was time to blow, she did.

No fart noises.

“Noooooooo!” Brock groaned loudly. Elias pretended like he was going to backslap him over the head. “No fart noise!”

“It was fun while it lasted,” Svea winked at him.

***

“Will they be in my class, mommy?” Margot asked as she looked into the classroom sheepishly, a little shy now that she was in a new environment. Elias and Svea had started to talk to her about school, and how – now that she was a big girl – she needed to start going to school to learn, just like how Violet, Rose, Lily, and Poppy went to school.

“Can I go to Poppy’s school?” she asked nervously one day.

Elias and Svea decided to take her there, knowing that it would make her feel more comfortable. Knowing that Violet, Rose, Lily, and Poppy went there too put her at ease. When they saw all the girls in the junior kindergarten class in their green plaid dresses, they could tell Margot recognized them from seeing them on the Boeser girls.

“These girls won’t be in your class, but new girls who are the same age as you will be,” Svea said. “Do you like that?”

Margot hesitated slightly before nodding her head. “I like new friends.”

***

“She is out cold,” Svea smiled as she lowered herself slowly and gently onto the couch, making sure not to disturb the peaceful image before her: Margot, after an exciting and fun day of shopping for her new school uniform, completely knocked out in Elias’s arms, sleeping soundly on his chest as he rubbed her back.

Svea cradled her body into Elias, too, snuggling up against him and admiring her daughter. From the blonde hair on her head, to her pink glasses on her face, to her cute little toes Elias still loved to pretend to eat, she was perfect. As Svea thought this, she felt Elias grab her hand between them and bring it up to his lips for a kiss, holding on to it as his thumb grazed over her skin. “We did alright in the end, didn’t we?”

Svea smiled and nodded her head. “We did.”

“She’s perfect. She’s just perfect,” he said, placing the lightest of kisses atop Margot’s head.

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Svea admitted.

Elias looked over at her, craning his head down to give his wife a kiss. “I love you more than I know how to explain. Thank you for giving me the light in my life.”

***

“Then all around from far away across the world, he smelled good things to eat, so he gave up being king of where the wild things are,” Elias read to Margot as they cuddled together in the rocking chair in her room. In her comfortable jammies and with her head on his chest, she was mouthing along to all the words of the book. Elias could see her get progressively more tired as he flipped through the pages, though she kept trying to mouth along and kept trying to keep her eyes open.

When they finished, Elias put the book on her bedside table as he cradled Margot in his arms and lay her down in bed, making sure to put the covers over her just how she liked. Still struggling to keep her eyes open, he brushed some hair out of her face. “Daddy?” she asked in her sweet voice.

“Yes baby?”

“I love you daddy.”

Elias smiled. “I love you too, Margot.”

“Will you read to me always?” she asked.

Elias nodded his head automatically. “Always.”

***

“Look at her go!” Grace exclaimed as she watched Margot zoom around the ice, chasing Poppy and Dukey around as they all giggled like maniacs. “I mean, who am I kidding? The daughter of Elias Pettersson? Of course she’s gonna skate like that!”

“She’s definitely a natural,” Svea smiled as her eyes followed her daughter around the ice. Brock and Elias both skated up behind their kids and scooped them up in their arms, giving them kisses before setting them back down on the ice together. “Do you ever think about how far we’ve all come…based on where we started when we met each other in our early twenties?”

“All the time,” Grace nodded. “We were so young! We were kids! Now there’s six kids between us!”

“A little skewed on your side, though,” Svea winked.

Grace elbowed her playfully. “We did good.”

***

“Margot! Margot!” Elias called out to his daughter who was already having fun with a new friend in her classroom as they played with a xylophone together. Other parents were in the room doing the exact same thing as he and Svea: making sure everything was okay on the first day of school. But the longer he and Svea stood there watching her, the more they realized she didn’t need them there; that she would thrive in the classroom and not have a meltdown about being in a new place.

To her credit, Margot listened when she heard her dad call her name and got up from her seat to hop over to her parents. “Mommy and daddy have to go now,” Elias said as he and Svea crouched down so they could by at eye-level with her. She nodded her head in understanding. “You listen to Mrs. Becker, okay?”

“I will.”

“Aunt Grace is going to come pick you up with Violet, Rose, Lily, and Poppy. Remember?” Svea asked.

“Yes mommy.”

“And remember—” Svea choked up slightly, Elias putting her hand over hers. “Mommy and daddy love you very much.”

“I love you too!” Margot said as she hugged her parents goodbye before skipping back to her friend and playing with the xylophone again.

Elias and Svea said goodbye to Mrs. Becker and held hands as they left the school building and walked back together to their car in the parking lot, silent the entire time. When Svea looked over at Elias once they were back in the privacy of their car, she could see tears streaming down his face. “Now you’re going to make me cry,” she said, wiping a few tears that had fallen.

“She’s so good. I’m so proud of her,” he said, wiping his own tears with the backs of his hands. “No meltdowns! Just walked right in there and started making friends. She’s so good.”

“Don’t jinx it – she might have a meltdown tomorrow,” Svea joked, trying to lighten the mood.

It garnered a smile out of Elias. He looked at his wife and placed his hand over hers tenderly. “I love you so much,” he mumbled, bringing her hand up to kiss it before cradling it against his chest, above his heart. All these years later, I’ve just grown to love you more, if that’s even possible.”

“I think it is, because I grew to love you more too,” Svea said softly. “My Elias. Always my Elias.

He kissed her hand again. “My moon, my stars, my Svea.”

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freaky-writer-writes · 4 years ago

Text

TBHK x reader | Mitsuba headcanons

Character: Mitsuba Sousuke

Fandom: TBHK

Pronouns: They/them // Gender neutral

Warnings: Mentions of death, slight angst (?), manga spoilers

A/N: I recently rewatched TBHK with my friendo because I finished reading the last chapter and cannot wait for the next chapter/season 2 eek /pos. Anyways I’m like really obsessed with Mitsuba? He’s a precious bby like sjdhbe. I’m gay for him Istg /hj.

Summary: What dating Mitsuba Sousuke would be like, and how did you handle his death, and confessing!!

• Ah yes

• Here we go with the angst~

• I would say that you and Mitsuba were really close, and still are!

• He would let you hold his camera and sometimes take pictures ACKDH

• You’re the only person he’s actually being nice to and not going full attack/tsundere mode

• Of course, he does that sometimes but you know that he don’t mean it

• Actually, you think it’s quite cute!

• Literally everytime you flirt with him, he would try to insult you and be a fucking tsundere aaa

.........

......

• He seemed like a very nice guy the first time you met him

• He’s the one who asked you to be friends (of course)

• When both of you slowly got closer and closer, he slowly also showed his real self

• Aka bullying you, insulting, etc.

• Though you knew why

• He have told you before why he has to act more nicely

• You thought it was understandable, and quite sad

• So whenever he insulted you, you really didn’t get too much thought into it

• Then the winter came

• Oh boy

// Manga spoilers starts here, and angst!! //

• It was his mother’s birthday

• When he told you at school, you wanted him to give her some flowers you bought for her

• You and his mother were actually close, despite you being his only (possibly?) first best friend

“Sure, I’m also gonna make curry, she loves it.. Maybe I can put the flowers in a vase on the table for decoration, thanks, (Y/N).”

“Of course! You know how to make curry right? You don’t need my help?”

“I’ve made curry before, I don’t need help, it’s gonna be fine.”

• That was the biggest cap ever

• Anyways

• I actually cried at that chapter-

• You were in call with him when he was making curry

• It seemed like he did fine

• You just had to remind him of a few things

• “Where’s the potato’s?”

• “Agh, crap I forgot them. Should I go out to buy some? The grocery store is not that far away.”

• “It’s fine without it, there’s no need. Besides, it’s cold outside and dark.”

• “It’s her birthday, I have to do it. I’ll call you back when I get home”

• “No, wait-“

• Before you knew it, it all ended

• You believed in him, maybe he would be fine

• Right?

• Though, you never received a call from him after that

• But when his mother called you, telling you about the news, you broke down

• You were devastated, and sad and frustrated

• Only if you could have done better

• Only if you were there to stop him instead of just telling him through a stupid call

• “You dumb dumb, everything just for the stupid potato’s...”

//Manga spoilers and angst end!!//

............

.......

• After a few months has passed, there was a new rumor going around saying a voice of a boy would grab your hands by the entrance of the school asking “Do you remember me?”

• You didn’t really think much about it, considering being rumors spreading around the school like everyday

• But when you arrived at the school enterance to place your shoes, there it was

• You saw a shadowy figure grabbing your arm and saying the following words: “Hey, do you remember me?”

• You were panicking, you shut the locker up and pushed the figure away from you (just pretend you can touch Mitsuba even though he’s a ghost JAHDBE)

• Then you saw a slightly tall boy, pink hair, feminine look, with a school uniform

• “The hell?!..” You realized who it was, you walked slowly towards the boy to get a closer look

• “M...Mitsuba?!” You said in relief and jumped on top of him, so happy to see him

• “Hey!! I get it I’m a cute little ghost but that doesn’t give you permission to touch me, you pervert!”

• “It really is you! Dear god, aren’t you dead?!!” Not caring about what he said, you looked at him in the eyes with tears of happiness streaming down your cheeks

• “I am dead, idiot. Can you get off me now? You’re going to make my clothes wet.” He exclaimed, rudely

• You nodded as you wiped off your tears

• After everything got settled and explained, you thought it was nice to have your best friend back

• You loved him a lot, he was so dear to your heart

• By loved him, you still do

• You both hanged out a lot again

• He would sometimes join your classes and keep you entertained or just insult you for whatever god knows

• Though you liked that he would be with you

• It was nice being with your ghost friend again

• You were so goddamn happy Istg

• Anyhow, after a few months, you decided to confess

• It was dumb asking someone like him out, besides, he’s a ghost

• You knew it would never work, considering him being a ghost

• But it would never hurt to try though, right?

• But little did you know, Mitsuba actually also has a crush on you

• He's just.... Not the type to show it correctly kind of-

• You notice that he blush a lot whenever he's around you, but didn't really give in too much thought to it

• He never had the urge to confess unlike you, he was too scared and nervous

• He got so suprised and happy when you asked him though, but he of course still acted like a tsundere

• You met him in the usual place, the rooftop after school

• Both just chatted and chilling iykyk

When you suddenly go "Hey.. Uhm... Mitsuba? I was meaning to tell you something."

"What is it now, (Y/N)?"

"I don't know how to put it but... I like you, like a lot."

"Of course you do, I mean who wouldn't like an adorable cute ghost like me?"

"No- I'm serious. I like LIKE you."

*A moment of silence then he started harassing you about it for a moment*

"Hah. Anyways, that's... Very unfortunate. Yeah, yeah... I like you too I guess, it's nothing much.."

• Your heart go brrr

• Anyways, you got so happy and started hopping around and hugging him

• "H-Hey!! Just because I said that doesn't mean you can touch me, you pervert!"

• You know he likes it depending on the facial expression ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

• Overall, you both are the cutest couple!!!

• No one really knew about it except Yashiro, Kou and Hanako (Of course)

• I mean, no one could really understand except them-

• Yashiro be like "All these ghosts, and I still can't get a boo-"

• AHAHS ANYWAYS

• Y'all would probably wait a little for kisses until you both get comfortable

• BUT when you do kiss, it's so cute and wholesome

• They're pretty short, wouldn't go THAT far

• Short but passionate if you're feeling up to it though hehehsjbe

• It's pretty much just a peck on the lips, although you COULD get into a make out session but that's rare-

• He would act like a tsundere after kisses

• "Hahaha!!! I know you just fell in love with me because of my cuteness, and now you just want to attack me like this! You big pervert!"

• But he adores the kisses on the inside

• It warms his heart

• ALSO YOU GUYS CUDDLE LIKE A LOT

• Literally wherever no one can see both of you

• Just cuddle

• He's the smol spoon obviously

• He likes being held by you even though he's not good at showing it

• He's the big spoon though if you're feeling down or something like that

• He doesn't mind being the big one either, it just kinda fits him more yk?

• Anyways,, I will probably make a part 2 of this because this is getting WAY too long ^^;

#TBHK #Toilet bound hanako kun #TBHK x reader #TBHK fanfiction #Mitsuba sousuke #Mitsuba sousuke x reader #Mitsuba x reader #Sousuke x reader #Mitsuba Sousuke fanfiction #Fanfiction #Slight angst #Fluff

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marc-spectorr · 2 years ago

Note

HELLO CALLIE

god its been ages im so sorry, howve you been! hows work going? i literally can not believe its almost october - almost time to see oscar (i hope ur bank acc is recovering) and spooky sn (im not a Halloween person but i love seeing everyone all excited lmaoooo)

summertime sadness is over and winter depression is here 😔- frr tho i love September weather so yay!

the blog is FIRE as always - the only thing keeping me warm in this economic crisis (bc how are people queuing 30 hours to see the queen - i cant even wait in the grocery store after 4pm without 678 layers)

-lot and lot of love 🦋

hey heyyy love, i missed you 💙🖤💙 !!!

i've been doing great! work is boring as always but overall alright. and yaaaaas i'm so excited for october to come!!! can you believe i'm seeing oscar in less than a month?!!? i'm so freaking excited omgomg 😭 my bank account has recovered, although i'm going on vacation in a few weeks which means bye bye money again LOLOL. idccc, ima treat myself bc it's also my birthday and this year has been super stressful and i just need to relax and have fun y'know??

winter depression— i'm absolutely dying at that bc SAMEEE. well, that's not gonna hit until december so i'm just gonna enjoy the fall weather now that it's finally hereeee!!!

and sdfhfdkdjk thank you thank you!!! i feel like my blog has been blah lately since it's just me reblogging and not really posting but i'm so glad you still enjoy it! but srsly tho, do british people really like queuing?? bc i could never wait in line for that long lmfao.

okok to end this,,, how about you?? how are you!! hope you're doing amazing babe! xx

#asks #🦋 anon

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cherienymphe · 5 years ago

Text

Promised (Lucifer Morningstar x Reader)

WARNINGS: dub-con (with a hint of non-con)

IF THIS OFFENDS YOU PLEASE DNI

summary: when you start waking up with bruises you can’t explain, your nightmares turn into a reality.

This could honestly be for any fandom really because its...well...Satan, but I want to hop on Luke Cook’s dick so here you go.

Fog twisted around your feet as the rough grass tickled your skin. Your hands were outstretched, but you couldn’t see past a foot in front of you. Your steps were slow, unsure, and you looked around you. You were alone.

“Hello?”

Your voice echoed, confirming what you already knew, and nervousness overtook you. You slowly began to recognize these woods, and you frowned. You knew these trees, you’d grown up playing in these trees. You took another step forward, and a root suddenly took hold of your foot.

You stumbled back, only to fall as another root wrapped around your other foot. A scream tore from your lips as you reached out, hissing when more roots slithered around you, biting into your exposed skin. You tried to push yourself forward, but they pulled you back. One snaked around your head, forcing itself into your mouth as your screams became muffled.

You rolled your shoulder as you descended the stairs, a frown on your face as you walked into the kitchen. Your roommates looked up at you in concern as you reached for a mug, letting out a contented sigh at the smell of coffee.

“Another bruise?” Maya asked, worry filling her dark eyes as she eyed you.

“Yeah,” you sighed as you poured the steaming liquid into your cup.

“Did you ever go to the doctor?” your other roommate asked, his deep voice accusatory.

“I did, actually,” you said, cutting your eyes to him with a small glare. “Just like you suggested. She said that its clearly something I’m doing in my sleep, probably the result of nightmares I just can’t remember.”

Damien scoffed, approaching you, shaking his dark hair out of his eyes.

“She’s an idiot. How could you possibly be doing this to yourself?” he wondered aloud as he pulled your shirt down your shoulder.

Both of them hissed as they eyed the dark coloring along your skin.

“Jesus,” Maya gasped, getting a closer look.

“Is it worse? It didn’t look that bad before I took a shower this morning,” you mused.

“This is ridiculous, Y/N. There’s no way you could be doing this to yourself. This has been going on, for what, months now?” Maya questioned, outraged.

You brushed past her with a shrug, wincing as you did so.

“I’m considering getting a sleep study done, because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this,” you complained.

Damien snorted from behind his own mug, and you eyed him. You glanced at Maya to see that she was doing the same.

“What?”

“You know my thoughts on the matter,” he murmured.

“For Christ’s sake, not this again,” Maya mumbled as she left the kitchen.

You stared after her before resting your gaze on him, his hazel eyes studying you.

“Look, Maya didn’t grow up in the kind of households we did. She doesn’t believe in this stuff, but you do, and you know just like I do that something strange is going on here, Y/N,” he whispered.

You shook your head. You’d had this conversation with Damien before, and while Maya simply wrote his words off, you couldn’t. The both of you had grown up in religious households, and even if you wanted to stay far away from any of your parents’ beliefs, they’d been ingrained into your brain for years.

“My parents are…fanatics. I can’t believe in the things they do. I refuse, because if I did, I would drive myself insane, Damien.”

“Y/N… For the past few months, you’ve been waking up with bruises and scratches that you can’t explain. Some of them in places you wouldn’t even be able to reach,” he hissed. “Certain items of yours have gone missing, and the ones that do turn up show up in the craziest of places. Just last week, you found your earring underneath a cup in the cupboard.”

You swallowed, afraid of the truth in his words.

“Something isn’t right here, and you know it. If you want me to come with you, I will, but you…you need to speak with someone. Someone other than a doctor,” he suggested.

You sighed as he brushed past you, staring into your mug like it would give you all of the answers.

You collected your book and rose from your seat as the sound of excited students surrounded you. Discussions of plans over the winter break filled your ears, and you grimaced. You’d had plans to go down south for the break with your roommates, but the strange happenings as of late were making you reconsider.

“Ms. Y/L/N. A word?” a familiar voice drifted over the chatter.

Your eyebrows rose in confusion, but you descended the steps to approach your professor, anyway. He was an old balding man with a gravely voice. A little weird at times, but he was a great professor.

“What are your plans for the break?”

Your confusion grew at his inquiry. Not once had you ever seen him take a personal interest in any student.

“I think I might go back home. I had other plans, but…it looks like those may be changing,” you honestly answered.

He hummed, dark gaze fixed on you. You fought to hold eye contact. Something was off…

“You won’t have any trouble finishing the assignment, will you?”

You tilted your head.

“No, of course not. Why…?”

“I just thought those nightmares of yours might interfere with your education.”

His calm visage didn’t match the nature of his words, and you blinked, processing them before stuttering out a response.

“I-I’m sorry. What?”

You blinked again, and suddenly his dark eyes were red to the point where there was no white left, bleeding almost. Before you had a chance to make a sound, his hand was gripping your arm, and you winced as it burned. You tugged on it, but he only tugged you towards him, and you tripped over your feet.

“Enjoy your mortal life while it lasts,” he hissed.

His voice was different, deeper, ominous even, and you shook as his nails dug into your skin. You jerked away from him only to land on your butt, looking up in horror as he began to convulse. You hurried to your feet, taking a few steps back as he looked at you, looking just as he always did with a small smile on his face.

“Ms. Y/L/N… Did you need something?”

You stared at him for a painful amount of time before hesitantly shaking your head. You gripped the strap of your bag before turning away and rushing from the classroom. You had just barely run into Maya.

“Woah! There you are. I was waiting outside for you before I realized you were probably talking to your professor,” she said, steadying you.

Her face fell at the look on yours, and she became worried.

“Y/N?”

“I…”

You didn’t even know what to say. How could you possibly explain what had just happened? It had happened, right? The painful ache on your arm from where he had grabbed you answered that question.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

You blinked, focusing your eyes on her as you shook your head.

“N-nothing,” you whispered.

She didn’t look convinced.

“Are you sure?”

You shakily nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah…um. I just…I think I’m gonna go home for the break,” you replied.

Her eyes widened.

“What? Why?”

“I…don’t feel the best. I’m not really up for our plans, and I want to see my parents.”

Maya tilted her head at you, a frown on her beautiful face.

“Y/N…you loathe your parents,” she scoffed with a chuckle.

“That’s not entirely true,” you sheepishly protested.

She crossed her arms over her chest.

“What is going on? I thought you wanted to celebrate your birthday together, and now you want to spend your 21st, of all birthdays, in Greendale? With your overly pious parents? Has Damien gotten to you?”

“Look Maya, whatever is going on with me…it’s taking a toll on me. I’m losing sleep and hallucinating and waking up almost every morning with a fresh set of bruises. Partying down south for my birthday isn’t going to make this go away. I’m just not in the mood,” you explained.

She sighed, eventually nodding in understanding.

“…and while my parents literally give me hives, in some ways they are a source of comfort for me. My old house, my old room…those things are familiar to me, and that’s where I want to be.”

“No, I get it. I do. I just really wanted all of us to celebrate your birthday together. I mean, how many times do you turn 21? It’s one of those ages that’s considered a milestone,” she pouted. “…but if you need help packing, just let me know.”

She pulled you along, and you looked over your shoulder at the closed lecture hall door like it was going to burst open and drag you inside any moment.

Your chest arched upwards, back rising from the surface as fire traveled through you. Hot hands slid up your legs, fingers dancing along your skin like butterflies. A sharp nip at your hip pulled a low moan from within your chest, and you reached out. Your fingers slid through smooth hair, and a low rumble followed soon after.

You wanted to see, but you couldn’t, and you didn’t know why. Had you gone blind? Was something obstructing your vision? Nails dug into the skin of your hip, and you gasped when a lithe form covered your own. You reached out, running your hands down a smooth chest, and a pleased hum filled your ears. The voice that filled your ears was sinful, slinking around you like silk.

“I shall enjoy claiming my prize very much.”

You awoke with a gasp, sweat clinging to your body as your eyes adjusted to the sight before you. Your bedroom door was open, the figure of your mother filling it as she stared at you with wide eyes. You slowly sat up, chest heaving as you gazed at her.

“What is it?” you quietly asked.

She cleared her throat.

“I made you breakfast. I doubt you’ve had a homecooked meal since you’ve been away,” she chuckled, but it sounded…off.

“Thanks. I’ll be down in a little bit.”

She hesitated for a moment before eventually walking away, and you took a moment to gather yourself before standing. You winced as you walked towards the bathroom, reaching up to rub the back of your neck. You barely spared the mirror a glance as you got undressed, turning on the shower before hopping underneath the warm spray of water.

You were starting to remember pieces of your dream, now, and you wondered what on earth could have made you dream of that. You had never been a sexual being. You had thought that you simply weren’t ready when boys showed interest during your high school years. You had written it off to simply being focused on more important things like school.

However, once you’d started college, and no desire to explore had ever arisen, you’d just accepted that maybe it just wasn’t for you. You would have labeled yourself as asexual long ago, but…you did want to have sex. It crossed your mind from time to time, but you’d never come across anyone who sparked that in you. Of course, in high school, that wasn’t surprising because high school boys were a nightmare, but even after getting outside of Greendale and going to college and traveling… You found it very strange that you hadn’t come across a single person who piqued your interest.

So to have an incredibly vivid erotic dream out of nowhere was…odd. If you closed your eyes, you swore you could still feel his skin on yours. Hear his voice…smell him. You frowned, pausing in your cleaning as you realized you did smell him. It was a very distinct smell, like burning cedar mixed with citrus and leather.

Your vision suddenly became hazy, and your hands fell to your side. Your eyes fell closed, and you tilted your head as the faintest of touches brushed along your neck…like butterflies. Steam filled the bathroom, but you paid it no mind as a soft moan slipped from your lips. There was another faint brush along your back, but it was gone just as the sound of your mother’s voice reached you.

“Y/N! Oh my Lord,” she cried as she yanked the curtain back, shutting off the water.

You blinked your eyes open, widening them as she wrapped you in a towel and helped you out of the tub.

“That water was scolding hot! Are you okay?”

You blinked again, slowly looking down to see that the palms of your hands were red from where the water had been hitting them directly.

“Y/N, how on earth did you not burn yourself? I came to check on you when no more hot water was coming out of the kitchen sink,” she continued, running her hands along your face to check your temperature.

“I-I’m fine. I must have lost track of time,” you murmured.

She eyed you with a look you couldn’t place, and you hurried to reassure her again.

“Really, mom, I’m fine. I’ll be right down.”

She hesitated before shakily nodding, leaving you alone. You sighed, turning to face the mirror before freezing in your tracks. Just there, on your breast was a bit of raised skin, almost like a brand. It was small, practically invisible, but you still noticed it. You slowly reached up to run your finger along it before hissing as pain shot through you.

You stared at it in confusion for the longest time before eventually shaking your head and exiting your bathroom to get dressed.

“So how has school been? Have any of your professors given you any trouble?”

You recalled the incident just before break but swallowed it down as you answered your father.

“It’s been great, actually. My grades this semester are nearly perfect,” you answered.

You’d been home for almost a week, now, and it was the first real conversation you were having with your father. Once you’d hit high school and realized how crazy your parents actually were, your relationship with them had soured like milk. Your father more so than your mother. While she had been willing to compromise with your desire for more freedom and leniency, your father was not. If anything, your desire for a somewhat normal life only forced his hand harder. It had nearly driven the two of you to stop speaking for good.

After all, all you wanted was to spend Friday nights with friends instead of reading passages of the bible for hours on end. For once, you wanted to spend a Sunday doing something you enjoyed instead of inside of a church all day. You hadn’t thought that was too much to ask, but apparently you had been wrong.

You fingered your fork, picking at your food before placing it down with a small sigh. Damien’s words were on your mind. They had been for days in fact. Both you and Damien had grown up in similar households, but they couldn’t be more opposite in nature. While your parents were religious freaks who sacrificed any small pleasure in life for God, Damien’s parents were into astrology and the occult and the like.

You’d grown up having the bible beat into your head. Damien grew up watching strangers come in and out of his kitchen during the evening’s for readings and love spells. He watched things like Ghost Adventures and True Crime. In your house, a dream about snakes was a sign from God to pray more. In his house, a dream about snakes meant…he probably wanted a pet snake.

Damien was weird, but you liked him, plus he claimed that he’d experienced some freaky things for himself growing up. Things that solidified whatever he believed in, and you could respect that. It didn’t matter if he experienced those things or not, he believed he did. You, on the other hand, had yet to experience anything. All your life you’d had God and the devil drilled into your brain, and all your life you had yet to witness any sign of either of them…until maybe now.

You did loathe your father, that was true, but you hated to admit that you were somewhat desperate at the moment and would go to him of all people for help.

“Dad…”

“Hmm,” came the familiar response.

“I wanted…to ask your advice on something…”

Your voice was quiet, but it carried nonetheless because you heard your mother stop humming from the living room. Your father looked at you from over his paper for a few seconds before eventually setting it down. You took a deep breath, but you didn’t know why you were so nervous. You knew what they were going to say. You needed to pray more. You needed to read your bible more. They would probably even suggest a short fast to get closer to God.

“I… I’ve been having dreams…nightmares really.”

Your father frowned, and you heard your mom enter the room to stand at the door.

“At least, I think so. That’s what my doctor thinks-.”

“Doctor? Why are you going to a doctor?” your mother asked, coming to stand beside your father, now.

You looked up at her with a sigh.

“For the past couple of months now, I’ve been waking up with bruises and scratches that I can’t explain. My doctor thinks its my own doing due to nightmares that I can’t remember, but… Sometimes they’re in places I can’t even reach. It doesn’t make any sense.”

Your mother’s eyes were wide, both horror and tears filling them as you spoke. You frowned at her before looking at your father, his face grave as he took in your words.

“Well?”

Neither one of them responded, and you watched as your mother put her hand to her chest, a sob escaping her. Your frown deepened, confusion filling you as you got a reaction you were not expecting.

“Mom…?”

She turned away, stumbling into the living room as her sobs reached your ears. You slowly looked to your dad, and he gradually stood, looking as if he was going to be sick.

“What is going on? Please don’t tell me that you think I need an exorcism or-.”

“Y/N…”

You snapped your mouth shut at the sadness in your father’s voice. You had never heard him like that in your life, and you gave him your full attention. Your mother was still crying, and you were starting to grow worried.

“It seems it wasn’t enough. None of it was enough,” he murmured as he turned away.

“Dad, what are you talking about? What wasn’t enough?”

You turned as you suddenly heard your mother coming from down the stairs. You hadn’t even realized she had left. She hurried into the kitchen, dropping a small box in front of you. She was still sobbing, and she took a step back as you carefully reached for the box.

With a shock, you discovered that it was full of pictures. Your parents had told you years ago that there were no childhood pictures of you, but they had clearly lied because here they were. Every single one of them was of you. Some of them were of your parents holding you as a baby, and some were just of you alone. Standing in front of a playground, a school, a mall. As you flipped through them, you realized that they all had one strange thing in common.

Every single picture, whether it was you alone or with your parents, held a shadow. A strange shadow stood behind you in every picture, and you slowly pieced together the shape. A goat. At least, it looked like one. It was much taller than any of you, and the horns curling back from its head were humungous, but all in all, it was the shadow of a goat…man.

“What…? What is this?”

Your father was facing you when you finally looked up, and his eyes were…defeated.

“Your mother and I weren’t always…like this…so pious. 21 years ago…your mother and I were struggling to conceive,” he began.

“I had already been through 3 miscarriages,” your mother softly threw in.

You gasped, eyes widening.

“Mom,” you sadly replied, having no idea of any of this.

“We were at a loss on what to do. We’d been to countless doctors, reproductive clinics, and nothing was working. Eventually…we started to pray. We prayed constantly for a child, and…it seemed as if God was ignoring our pleas,” she continued, tears filling her eyes again.

“We grew desperate,” your father whispered. “We…eventually started to pray to…anyone who would hear us. At last, someone did…hear us. The devil himself.”

You scoffed, a slight chuckle escaping.

“Dad,” you chided, disbelief coloring your tone as you eyed him.

Your face fell at the look on his, brows furrowing as you turned to look at your mom again. She wouldn’t meet your eyes, and despite how ridiculous their words were, something in you knew them to be true.

“Mom…?”

Your own eyes were glassy, now, fear creeping into you.

“We made a deal with him,” you mother softly said. “He vowed to bless us with a baby girl, and he would give us 21 wonderful years with her, but on her 21st birthday…he would come to collect her.”

You abruptly stood, your chair falling back as you did so. You felt like your heart was going to leap from your throat.

“No… No? Y-you’re not making any sense-.”

“We didn’t realize the gravity of what we’d done. We didn’t understand that we had made a deal with Lucifer himself…and that he would come to collect. When you were born, there on your chest, was the tiniest portion of raised skin. If you looked closely enough…you could see that it was three sixes…all lined up,” your father confessed.

You gasped, hand flying up to press against your chest.

“It went away after a few days, but as soon as we could, we tried to have you christened, but… The water burned you. It was hurting you,” your mother cried.

You stumbled back away from them.

“When you were five, we tried again. Only this time we tried baptism, but it was the same thing. The water…it hurt you. So we tried everything. We brought you up in a devout household hoping that it would be enough to undo what we did…enough to save you,” your mother continued.

You continued backing away from them, shaking your head in disbelief, but you knew they were telling the truth. Even if you hadn’t seen the mark for yourself earlier in the week, you knew everything they were saying was true. Everything suddenly made sense.

“How… How could…?”

“We were so young, Y/N. We were young and desperate and didn’t fully understand-.”

“Didn’t fully understand? You made a deal with the devil! What’s not to understand? Oh my God,” you cried, pressing your hands to your forehead as you stared at the kitchen floor. “My birthday…is in two days.”

Your mother reached out towards you, but you slapped her hand away.

“Y/N!”

You ignored her, hurrying up the stairs as you rushed to throw your clothes in your bag. You grabbed your car keys and your coat, rushing back downstairs and passed them, ignoring their calls.

“Y/N, where are you going? You can’t…you can’t run from this. We tried,” your father pleaded with you.

You turned to face him, hand on the doorknob as you glared at him.

“Not only do you sell me off to the devil, but now you expect me to just sit here and let this happen?”

He didn’t respond, and your mother pressed her hand to her mouth, fighting to quiet her cries.

“Y/N,” he whispered.

You took a deep breath, eyeing both of them.

“Maybe you were never meant to have a kid. Did you ever think of that? Did you ever wonder why of all people to answer your prayers for a baby, you got Satan himself?”

They didn’t respond.

“Not everyone is meant to have a child, and that’s okay. You should have accepted that, but instead, now you’ve damned me in the process.”

You turned, slamming the door shut behind you on your way out as you ran to your car.

You rushed down the wet road, racing towards the end of town. You blinked tears away, fighting to see through the pouring rain. You knew that you were going too fast, but a part of you didn’t care. Surely dying would be better than whatever was in store for you. Although you wondered… If you died, would you go straight to him, anyway?

Your hands tightened on the steering wheel, and you once again wondered how your parents could do this. How could anyone be that desperate to have a baby that they’d sell them off on their 21st birthday? So many things suddenly made sense, and you wanted to scream. You suddenly gasped as something ran across the road, and you slammed on the breaks. The car slid and swerved before sliding off the road into a small ditch.

“No,” you screamed as your car came to a halt.

You pressed on the gas, but it didn’t budge, and you only succeeded in digging it deeper into the dirt. You cursed and slammed your hands against the steering wheel before letting out a sob. You looked around, hoping for any way out of this when you screamed in fright.

Just outside of your passenger window was a figure, and as you squinted you realized it was a man. He was waving his hands at you, mouthing something. You cracked the window just a bit, only enough to talk through.

“Would you like me to get help?”

His voice was smooth, and there was a slight accent there, but it was faint. You swallowed, nervous, but you decided that you feared what was after you more than you feared this man.

“I need to get my car out of this ditch. I have to leave here as soon as possible,” you said over the rain.

He nodded and pointed down the street.

“There’s a house not far from here. A woman lives there. I can go use her phone if you’d like,” he suggested.

You quickly opened the door, stepping out of the car, almost falling into the ditch in the process, and nearing him.

“N-no, I can come with you. I can use her phone myself,” you hurried to say.

You didn’t want to be alone, and you looked around, suddenly remembering that something had run across the road, causing you to crash in the first place. You looked back up at him, and he nodded.

“Alright.”

You walked alongside him, relieved when the rain let up. If you were back at school, there was no way you’d walk with some strange man in the middle of the night, but this was Greendale. The only bad thing that ever happened here was deals with the devil, apparently.

As you walked with him, you found yourself eyeing him. He was incredibly handsome, probably the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. His dark hair was slightly curly, almost boyish in a way that complimented his sharp features nicely and contrasted against his fair complexion. He was tall, and with a start you noticed how nicely he was dressed.

A nice red silk shirt hugged his frame while equally nice black slacks and shoes covered his lower half. You looked at his hair again, and noticed that it seemed undisturbed by the rain, which was more than you could say for yourself. Upon a closer look, you realized the same was true for his clothes. It was like the rain just slid right off of him. You suddenly blinked, glancing over your shoulder and noticing that your car was the only thing there.

Where did he come from?

You suddenly stopped, and he took three more steps before he stopped too. He turned to face you, tilting his head to the side as he eyed you. His dark eyes were unyielding as he stared you down, and your stomach started to churn.

“Where is your car?”

He raised an eyebrow, the faintest of smirks on his pink lips.

“Car? No, I don’t have one. Never cared for them, really…”

“Then…how did you get here? What were you doing out here?”

His smirk morphed into a smile as he clasped his hands together behind his back.

“Why I was looking for my bride, of course.”

The way he said that struck something in you, and you took a step back.

“You see, a promise was made to me that once she reached a certain age, she would be mine…”

“No,” you whispered with wide eyes, tripping over your feet as you backed up.

“…but I got wind that she was trying to run off before the wedding,” he said with a grin.

You turned and ran, only to run into a chest. You pushed yourself away from him with a scream before darting across the road into the trees. Sticks cracked beneath your feet as you tore through the trees, the darkness around you threatening to trap you for the devil that was on your feet. You hissed when a branch caught the skin of your cheek, tears and rain mixing with your blood.

Something suddenly tripped you, and you landed on your hands and knees. You struggled to stand, sobbing as you did so, but when you did, he was there. You raised your eyes, your gaze connecting with his as you shook your head.

“Your parents could have better prepared you for this, no?” he began as he started to circle you. “They could have brought you up in worship of me. Primed you for this day. It was the perfect opportunity to gift me with the perfect bride.”

“Please,” you begged, mirroring his movements, afraid to take your eyes off of him.

“No, instead they try to fight it, fight the pact they made with me,” he hissed to himself, anger on his beautiful features.

You wanted to be sick.

“I…I have two more days-.”

“Oh, what does that matter when you’ve been promised to me?” he scoffed, stepping towards you.

You took a step back.

“You’ll just spend these next 48 hours trying to come up with a way to get away from me. We both know it,” he whispered.

“I’ll-I’ll do anything. I’ll find you someone else, someone who wants to be your bride-.”

“…and you don’t?”

The boyish smirk was back, and he tilted his head to the side. You frantically shook your head as you took another step back.

“Really? I find that quite amusing…considering you were rather welcoming of my touch the other night.”

Your eyes widened as you registered his words, realizing that it was him all along who’d been in your dreams. A shudder traveled through you, remembering the way that fire had been lit inside of you for the first time in your life. Was he leaving the bruises and scratch marks too?

“Of course, I did,” he answered your mental question, and you gulped. “Consider it to have been a…preview of sorts of what’s to come.”

He took another step forward.

“I…”

“You were tailor made for me, dear. I extinguished all of your desires long ago so that the only touch to please you…would be mine,” he purred, stepping towards you.

You took another stumbling step back, body almost paralyzed with fear. He was only inches away from you, now, and he pouted at you as he reached up to brush his finger along your wet face.

“It would be a shame to let my work go to waste.”

He lightly shoved his hand against your shoulder, and you fell back. Only instead of landing on wet earth, you found yourself landing on a soft bed. You scrambled to sit up, pushing yourself to your knees, and you yelped when you felt him at your back. You turned around, but he wasn’t there.

You looked around the dimly lit room, lit torches lining the space, casting light onto the large dark bed. It was warm, but not overly so. It was the kind of warm that settled within you, heating you up from the inside out rather than the outside in. Tears kissed your eyes as you wondered where you were. Some part of you already knew.

You felt a faint touch on your arm…like butterflies, and you spun around again. You came face to face with nothing.

“Tell me, Y/N…”

His voice was in your ear, and you found yourself paralyzed.

“Haven’t you ever fantasized about the pleasures of the flesh?”

His hands wrapped around your arms, pulling your back into his chest. You could feel the hard planes through your jacket, and you knew that he was bare. You blinked, leaning away from him, but he followed, brushing his nose along your ear.

“Has the complete animalistic carnality of it all ever plagued your thoughts?”

You closed your eyes as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m the only one who could ever fulfill that for you, you know?”

He tilted his head, and his lips brushed against your cheek. Burning cedar filled your nose, and your eyes fluttered.

“It’s because you were made for me in every literal sense of the word. Before you were even conceived, you belonged to me. You bore my mark from the day you were born,” he purred.

He reached up to brush his fingers along said mark, and you lazily wondered when he removed your clothes. You could feel the bare skin of his chest pressing against your equally naked back.

“You are mine, Y/N, and I do not like losing things that belong to me,” he firmly said, gripping your jaw as he turned your head to face him.

You trembled in his arms, and he wiped your tears away.

“Although I suppose I can’t blame you for trying to elude me. Your silly little parents failed you. I suppose I will have to punish them for not properly preparing you for this day, but that can wait…”

He tilted your head back, dragging his lips down the side of your neck. You felt him smirk against your skin as you softly moaned.

“I have all the time in the world for that, but for now…”

He turned you around, brushing his nose against your own.

“I wish to bring my bride to be over the edge again and again and again,” he murmured.

He laid you down, giving you no time to process what was happening as he covered your trembling frame with his own. His lips were suddenly everywhere, leaving a fire in their wake. He reached up to take your hands and place them on his head, fingers tangling through his dark locks as he kissed down your stomach.

He kissed every part of you that he could think of, and a gasp escaped you when he finished by parting your legs and pressing his lips against the most sensitive part of you before crawling up the bed. You pressed your hands against his chest, pushing against him and he pulled back to look down at you with a frown.

“I…”

“How silly of me to think that you’d accepted your fate. After all, you are in my bed, naked, and beneath me. You are simply out of time, my dear,” he said, kissing along your neck.

“Please-.”

You cut yourself off when he gripped your hair, hard, and you winced. His teeth grazed your neck before finding their way to your ear.

“I can be a most doting dark lord and husband…so long as you devote yourself to me in every single way, hmm?” he mockingly said.

He settled himself in between your legs, and you shuddered as you felt his hard length brush against your thigh.

“…but if you fail to do that in any way…daddy will be very, very angry,” he slowly whispered into your ear.

You swallowed, staring at the flames that were now above you.

“Do we have an understanding…my queen?”

You nodded, and his grip tightened, causing you to gasp.

“I like verbal confirmations,” he demanded.

“I understand,” you whispered back.

There was a brief pause before he eventually let go, pressing one hand into the pillow beside your head while the other reached in between you.

“Good,” he purred.

He filled you without warning. You yelped, reaching up to dig your nails into his skin, and he only moaned in response. He froze above you for a moment, basking in the feel of you wrapped around him. He leaned down to softly brush his lips along yours, and your eyes fluttered again, before he pulled back. Your harsh breaths filled the room as you fought to get used to the feel of him.

The sting brought tears to your eyes, and you had no choice but to hold onto him. He hummed into your mouth, rolling his hips into yours as he pinned you to the bed. Every stroke stroked the fire within you, pulling moans and gasps from your lips as you made sense of what was happening to you.

“The next two days shall she be spent like this,” he whispered against your lips. “I will take you a thousand times over until you can hardly move. I’ll completely break you until the mere memory of me inside of you brings you to your knees.”

You moaned into his mouth, his words going straight to your core.

“You will not leave this bed until the day of your birth, and on that day…”

He paused to let out a low moan, dark hair brushing along his forehead.

“On that day you shall become my queen. We will have a grand unholy wedding with every being who matters in attendance to witness the coronation.”

You pressed your nails into his back as the bed rocked with your movements.

“Wouldn’t you like that?”

Afraid to say anything other than words of agreement, you nodded.

“I…I think so,” you panted.

“You think so? No, no,” he murmured. “That won’t do.”

He slowed his thrusts, dragging his cock against your dripping walls in a lazy manner. You threw your head back, lips parting in a silent moan, and he chuckled darkly.

“You’re in hell, now, my dear. You can indulge in anything you could possibly ever want,” his voice was hypnotizing.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he leaned down to wrap his lips around a hardened bud. One hand dragged down your stomach to play between the neat patch of curls in between your legs. You jerked underneath him as he pressed his thumb against you.

“You still fear me…as you should but give it time. Soon enough, you’ll come to crave me just as I have craved for you all these years.”

You wrapped your legs around him, and he grinned down at you.

“Yes,” he hissed, the sound echoing around the room like a thousand snakes. “Your parents might have failed to mold you into the perfect bride, but I’ll take my time doing what they didn’t.”

“What…what are you…going to do to them?” you panted, sweat clinging to your skin.

“It shouldn’t concern you, pet,” was his low answer.

“But-.”

“Doesn’t it anger you to know that they just kept you blind, blithely unaware of your fate? Hmm?”

“They-they were scared-.”

You cut yourself off with a moan when he pushed his knees underneath your thighs.

“They were cowards. Idiotic cowards to boot. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about them. You are in my care, now, and I will take good care of you…”

You felt something building low in your stomach, and your eyes widened. You tightened your grip on him as he kept his pace steady, eyes widening even further when his dark gaze suddenly bled to crimson. For a moment, you’d almost forgotten whose bed you were in.

“Such a pretty thing you are when you’re about to cum around me,” his voice was deeper, ominous, and it echoed throughout the room.

Your moans grew louder, legs trembling as you screwed your eyes shut. You felt yourself fall, a ringing in your ears and an inferno roaring within you that had you clenching around him. You felt his eyes on you, watching you as you came undone, and you were not surprised to see a sinister grin when you opened your eyes.

Exhaustion filled you, and you blinked. He tilted his head at you as he tutted, gripping your chin to tilt your head up.

“No, no, my dear. You have all of eternity to rest. My words were true when I said I’m going to break you…”

He gripped your legs, throwing them over his shoulder as his red gaze bore into yours.

“…and I’m just getting started.”

tags: @xoxabs88xox @darkficsyouneveraskedfor @sherrybaby14 @darkficreposter @illbegoinhome @salomewrites @youngmarquis @lovelymoonkiid @villanellevi @harringtonsblackgf @sebabestianstan101

#lucifer morningstar #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer #lucifer x reader #luke cook #Dark Fic #satan #satan x reader #the dark lord #the chilling adventures of sabrina #tcaos

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swiftgronmasterpost · 4 years ago

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Winter 2013 - The Beginning of the End and Dianna’s Private Tumblr

January 4, 2013 - Haylor Breakup

Taylor and Harry publicly split and leave us with this iconic picture:

January 10, 2013 - People’s Choice Awards

Haylor is done, Harry is back in the UK, but Taylor shows up with a hickey anyway. (Dianna is in LA at this time.)

Some time this month Taylor writes How You Get The Girl which is about obviously someone who comes back to get the girl. She references “standing in the rain” and “a long six months.” It’s hard to know if these details are more “fanfic” or actual autobiographical details.

This six months may actually refer to the end of bearding for a while (because it seems like Swiftgron did reunite in Paris in early October.) Exactly six months after Taylor started dating Conor Kennedy would be January 25th, 2013.

As for the rain...

It rained twice in LA this month according to weather reports on the 21st and on the 23rd:

Dianna is in LA at this point and has started a private Tumblr blog under the name whosirmesir (we verified it was hers over on @swiftgron-get-married - and you can click here for more on that if you’re curious and actually I did an entire podcast episode walking people through it if you’re like like to listen to an in depth breakdown of it click here for apple OR click here for spotify OR click here for google.

I also recommend searching the whosirmesir tag on @swiftgron-get-married because we’ve logged a lot of interesting moments and connections to Taylor (quotes, art, and other items that tie DIanna and Taylor together.)

On the private tumblr on January 25th Dianna reblogs this:

It reads “i think we’re just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that...”

This is also the time period it is rumored that Dianna proposed to Taylor. I’m not sure what to make of these rumors. I have not been able to get anywhere near confirming them. It’s entirely unsubstantiated - but I explored the rumor further in this blog post (click for link.) And also on the podcast (will link just a bit down in this post because it relates to something else we’re about to discuss.)

February 4, 2013 - Dianna recommends “Far Nearer” by Jaime on twitter:

The lyrics are essentially:

“I feel better when I, you feel better when I I feel better when I have you near me

You Me You I do, I do, I do“

repeated over and over again

February 9, 2013 - Neruda quote on Tumblr from Dianna

Dianna posts a quote to Tumblr. The translation is, “I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.”

It’s worth noting that Taylor namechecked Neruda in the Red album booklet.

February 10, 2013 - The Grammys

Dianna wants to make sure everyone is watching:

And Taylor posts:

“Look what happened! :)”

She won for Safe and Sound:

And she performs her circus themed rendition of WANEGBT (where she mocks Harry Styles on stage making fun of his accent when she sings the “so he calls me up on the phone” part of the song even though this song was written before she was even with him.)

The only other time Dianna tweeted about the Grammys was when Glee was involved the year before.

February 14, 2013 - Achele breakfast and The Inside Source at Glee Tweet

According to a Facebook user Cory, Dianna, and Lea have breakfast this morning (or around this time):

Later that day Taylor posts the infamous tweet:

The Glee Episode “I Do” airs and there is no Taylor song included. However Dianna and Naya’s characters hook up:

After the episode airs Taylor deletes her tweet.

As always I’m not entirely sure what to make of this but to me it boils down to three possibilities:

1. The fandom seems to think this proves that Dianna purposefully tricked Taylor into watching her “hook up” with Naya on screen. It’s completely possible that that’s the case but I think the next two options make a bit more sense.

2. It was a simple misunderstanding or a joke gone wrong. Taylor had a song earlier on that season of glee (Mine sung as a breakup song by Naya) and I have been told another song of Taylor’s was marketed for another glee episode later that spring. Perhaps someone got their wires crossed and misinformed Taylor.

3. Other nefarious parties:

a. It’s possible that Lea was behind this - she publicly had beef with Taylor at one point and she had been with Dianna that morning. Maybe she met up with DIanna, heard about Swiftgron being happy and back together and got a little jealous and decided to prank Taylor.

b. Ryan Murphy also seemed to despise both Dianna and Taylor around this time. He was also famous for stirring up drama with Gleeks on twitter and generally sewing discontent (particularly surrounding wlw ships and fans). Ryan seems to have a problem with women/lesbians in general. He treated Brittana as a couple horribly on Glee as well as their shippers.

He very publicly shaded Taylor in season one of Scream Queens and said in an interview that Dianna ruined Quinn for him because he said she made her sympathetic.

Not only that but in season 3 he destroyed her character - he made her have a mental breakdown - he had her try and steal a baby - he had her get hit by a car - and a huge plotline in season 3 was Quinn begging Rachel (Lea’s character so Dianna’s irl ex) not to marry Finn (played by Cory - literally the guy Lea chose Dianna over - this is like...emotionally abusive if you ask me.) After season 3 Dianna only appeared in 8 episodes of the remaining 55 after being in every episode and the top third billed of the cast in the first three seasons.

Furthermore in a show called The New Normal there was a bitchy actress character named Brynn who he wrote as high maintenance and unpleasant and then killed off.

So yeah...seems fair to at least consider that Ryan or Lea who publicly had problems with both Taylor and Dianna may have been trying to create problems for Swiftgron. One last note about Lea - there was not a single Achele interaction for the entire year of 2013. The most we got was Dianna liking a tweet about Lea’s album in December 2013 and when asked about one another in interviews they would vaguely say they were still friends. No tweets to one another, no birthday messages, no candids, no hang outs. Lea’s book was also written around this time and does not make a single mention of Dianna - her former roommate and “best friend” even though she spends plenty of time talking about others on the Glee cast.

I did a podcast episode on both the proposal rumors and the inside source at Glee tweet if you want more extensive takes on that!

While I’m not entirely sure Dianna had anything to do with this tweet Taylor references this date (2-14-13) by putting it on a dollar bill as a serial number in The Man music video:

At any rate Taylor deletes the tweet and replaces it with one about her dancers:

Dianna tweets 9 hearts that day (I don’t know if that’s significant but if they were together from March 2012 to July 2012 and then October 2012 to this point it would mean 9 months together...)

February 19, 2013 - Sad Charlie Brown Tumblr post from Dianna:

February 27, 2013 - Fitzgerald quote

Taylor listed this as a quote to live by in an interview with Marie Claire a few months later.

I’m not sure if it’s important but Dianna is very quiet this winter and spring in terms of showing up at events, parties, even being papped out on the street compared to other years around this time. She seems to disappear a bit.

February 27, 2013 - Taylor gives a bday shoutout to her Fiddle player Caitlin:

“Happy Birthday to my magical friend, fiddle extraordinaire @/caitlinbird”

March 12, 2013 - Weird tweets from Dianna “One of those days.”

March 13, 2013 - It’s the first day of the Red tour (is that why Dianna had questions?)

About the Red Tour - the last act of the tour seems to be circus themed which may have been inspired by Dianna’s 26th birthday the previous year and really interestingly Taylor has a white rabbit, which is a reference to Alice in Wonderland (Dianna’s favorite piece of media ever) follows Taylor around stage during the WANEGBT performance as she’s dressed up like a circus ringleader:

March 18, 2013 - Dianna goes on a Girls HBO rant (we know who also loved Girls the show and its creator Lena Dunham (Taylor))

End of March - Lena and Ashley show up at the Red Tour backstage

Conclusion - Swiftgron is on but completely underground. Dianna is blogging and tweeting romantic things about missing girls, Taylor’s interests, and secret love, all while watching Taylor perform at the Grammys and encouraging others to tune in. Something weird happened with the inside source at Glee tweet but who knows what. Dianna seems a bit restless and emo while Taylor leaves to go on tour.

Click here to keep reading!

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marsandsaturn · 4 years ago

Note

Can I ask for an ansty one-shot with aizawa, where he has to choose over the reader or one of his friends, and the reader conforts him, could be dirty or not

NOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, I REFUSE.....JK IM GONNA DO IT BECAUSE ITS AIZAWA BUT GOD I AM GOZING TO CRIIIII. Gender: Female Reader but it actually seems like a Gender Neutral Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Shota Aizawa. Not as known Endeavour or All might, but he is known if you are a fan of underground heroes. You were a super fan of underground Heroes, and luckily for you one of classes, you had to write as essay on a Pro-Hero. While other choose the top 20s or top 10 you chose your favorite Hero. Eraserhead. You had gotten a 100 on that essay, and usually when you do good on a essay for go to your favorite Coffee, Tea, or Boba, place, so that is what you did. What you didn’t expect was that the Pro-Hero was also at that place. You had literally ran into him and fell on your butt. Of course this old man,,,Elizabeth he’s like 31 calm down he’s not that old,,,would fall in love with a senior in college. Now you were a successful(the career you want in real life apply hear) and dating the Pro-Hero Eraserhead. The first two years were good, lots of cuddling, and hanging out at each other’s apartment. Eventually meeting his class was eventful. Lets just say your favorite students were, Hitoshi Shinsou and Shoto Todoroki, but that’s a secret only for you. But after two years a rough patch began to form. You see, you tended to get attached to people because of your mommy and daddy issues, but I am not going into detail about thats, so you weren’t often trying to be wit Aizawa as much as you can. And although he didn’t mind hanging out with you, he would have liked to hang out with his friends, specifically, Mic and Midnight. So the three of them went out to the club tonight, Midnight’s idea. You on the other hand were a bit upset that you weren’t invited but you pride wouldn’t never let you tell Aizawa how you feel, you stayed in your bed watching anime because why not. But that’s not when you snapped. One night he decided to go out again with his friends, and then another night, and another night, but those nights never bothered you. It was went he had promised the two of you to go out on a date, but instead you saw Aizawa on Mic’s Private story at a club instead of in his car on his away to pick you up. You snapped. You fell to the ground crying and hugging you knees. This is silly. It was okay that he forgot, it will only be one night. This was not going to be only one night, he hates you, you ask for too much, you can’t do things by yourself, he’s gonna leave you. No no Shota would never leave me, he promised, and he has never broken his promises. He broke one tonight. The devil and the angel in your head kept arguing as you dragged yourself out of the apartment. What were you going to do? Confront him like those girls you have seen all over Instagram. Why? Because you knew that you were going to drive him away, you always did. When you arrived, the three of them exited the club on their way to a fast food restaurant, when Midnight saw you. “Zawa isn’t that Y/N?” He turned his head and spotted you looking towards the grounds with your phone in your hand, looking through a bunch of pictures, but not of him, but of people who left you, you never deleted them because you had gotten to attached and didn’t want to delete them. His eyes widen when he realized the two of you had a date tonight. He called out your name you looked up, but tears began to run down your face as soon as you looked into his eyes. He walked towards you and grabbed your arm but you pulled away. “What did I do Shota? Please just answer this? Every time I ask someone this they never answer and try to ignore the question. I just wanna know, what I am doing wrong with each relationship of friendship I had.” You were sobbing at this point, but he pulled the two of you into a alleyway, “What do you mean?” “I have never wanted to be one of those girls, but I can’t take it anymore, not when I am in pain. Why do you chose them every time. I understand that they were there before me but you have been hanging out then them more than me. I haven’t even been in your arms in a month. I just want to love you, kiss you, cuddle you, have dinner with you, maybe lunch or breakfast. I just want you, but I probably did something wrong for you to not want to be around me anymore, fuck, please tell me what I did or am doing wrong so I can either fix it or leave” Shota was a mess, but not as much as you. Most people would have an explanation as to why they were hanging out with their friends more then their s/o but he didn’t have one. Not without giving it away. He wanted to do this on your birthday in your apartment but he didn’t know how much longer he could last. But he understood your pain. He knew the question you were asking, and he had an answer. “Y/N you have done nothing wrong, yes I forgot about tonight’s date, my love, I didn’t want to do this hear and especially in this situation but I can’t loose you. The day you told me about what you wanted to be I truly fell in love. I’m sorry I caused you all this pain” He bends down to touch your forehead with yours. He loved you too much. This man was whipped for you, or as Denki would state, a simp for you. He loved everything about you from the little things you do when your focused, to the 3 am adventures through the city that you post of your 3 am with Y/N private story that he watched while on patrol. He loved when you would try to cook but fail and almost burn down the apartment, and he loved whenever you would bake, because your baking was the best. He closes his eyes before removing his forehead that was against your and moves his lips towards your quivering ones. Both of your lips were soft, but yours tasted with vanilla with caramel, and his tasted like peppermint, a chapstick you bought him for when the holidays were around. He decided to put the chapstick on again now that it was November and holidays were coming up. He knew you loved when his lips tasted like peppermint. In this moment, you felt safe, you felt like you were home, which was something you haven’t felt in a while. You missed the softness of his hair, the way he looked at you, the way your heart missed a beat whenever he was around, the way he would lay in your arms after a long day, the way the two of you were sit in the bath with bubbles, or when the two of you would watch movies together, or how you two would just read together. “Y/N marry me” The man with the scar under his eye asked, You were shocked. This perfect man wanted to marry you. He wanted to marry a mess that was called Y/N. He wanted to marry you, out of all the people he chose you.

You began to tear up and give him a hug which he returned with a kiss to your forehead. He didn’t care how messed up you were, he wanted you for you. He knew from the moment he met you but didn’t accept that he wanted to marry you until you became successful in your career. “Shota” You called out his name. He pulled back away from the hug and looked at your face. HIs face was filled with love, but not just any love. It was love for you, it was love for the love of his life, his Y/N, “Can we have a June Wedding?” “Y/N is that a reference to the Vampire Diaries” ‘How’d you know Sho?” He laughed. But he knew that you accepted his proposal. He knew that you want him to be your husband as he wanted you to be his wife. “Actually I’d like a winter wedding because summer weddings suck and I have a list why” You began as he chuckled and kissed you one more time before leading you out the allyway. As soon as the two of you wanted out, Mic and Midnight began to cheer. Of course they were there to witness his proposing to you, they were his best friends after all.

“I love you Sho” “I love you too baby”

Author’s Note: I cried like twice TWICE. I wrote this and I made myself cry. Now I am not saying this is good but I hope it was to your satisfaction :) Please request more stuff like his I really enjoy these. Also sorry if there as any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes I was in a rush to write this as I have assignments due in a few hours sooo. Enjoy ! :) To make are request click here!

#my hero academia #aizawa smut #aizawa x y/n #bnha aizawa #fluf #aizawa fluff #aizawa angst #mha smut #bnha smut #bnha fluff #mha fluff

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pinknerdpanda · 4 years ago

Text

The Diner

Word Count: 3,623 (decidedly NOT a drabble...it got out of control and I won’t apologize.) Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: Angst, Theft, Fluff Beta’d By: @princessmisery666 - thank you my love

A/N: This was requested (kind of?) by my amazing and wonderful Name Twin @amanda-teaches. I hope you like this babe! (And I promise I’m working on the other still) I know these are called “Merry Manda’s Christmas Drabbles” and literally NONE of them are Drabbles...but I’m lazy and haven’t changed it in the 4 years I’ve been doing these. So...Sorry? (I’m not, actually. I’m not even sorry a little bit.)

The bitter chill of winter air cut through the leather of Bucky’s jacket as he stepped out of the car. He’d briefly considered taking his bike for the evening but had thought better of it. Though now, he was grateful he’d spared himself that torture. Shivering, he wondered if getting out on this frigid night was even worth it at all.

“Fuckin’ hate the cold,” he muttered, the words crystallizing in the air as he shoved the keys into his pocket and began making his way to the door.

After Steve went back in time to return the stones - and himself - to their proper place, Bucky felt lost. He’d known Steve’s intentions - even supported them. Didn’t mean it didn’t hurt like hell.

He and Sam had gotten along better than Bucky would have guessed at the jump. They’d actually grown code enough, Bucky might even go as far as to call Sam a friend. Sure, they still had their moments of friction, but overall they worked well together. Sam was a damn hard worker and made him laugh, despite the obvious pain Bucky saw in his eyes. He missed Steve too. Whether they admitted it or not to themselves - certainly not out loud - they needed each other.

But sometimes Bucky just needed some time to himself.

That was how he’d wound up here the first time six months ago. It had been Steve’s birthday and even though Sam had invited him along to go see his old friend, he’d declined. He hadn’t been ready for the reminder of what kind of life he’d missed out on. So instead, he’d chosen to go for a drive with no real destination in mind. Not long into the trip however, he’d gotten hungry and stopped at the first place he saw.

The diner was small; cramped and slightly dingy, with scuffed linoleum floors and cracked booth seats. The menus felt sticky and none of the dishes matched, but the coffee was perfect. Hot, dark and slightly burnt; just how he liked it.

If anyone had recognized him that first day, they didn’t say anything. He was used to his fair share of open stares and the odd murmuring of worried voices wherever he went. But not here. Here, he was just Bucky - cup of coffee, no cream.

Bucky fell in love with the place immediately and it soon became his little home away from home. A place of refuge he could escape to when things got too heavy or his thoughts got too loud. Or, like tonight, when he just really, really wanted some of that amazingly shitty diner coffee.

The cold air that enveloped Bucky sloughed off as the diner door shut behind him, quickly replaced by the warm scent of coffee and whatever Mel was frying in the kitchen. He’d been there less than a second and he could already feel himself begin to relax.

A quick scan of the space showed no signs of anything out of the ordinary. Well - not really. A few weeks back, someone had decorated the counter top with a small, fiber-optic Christmas tree and a Santa figure that looked nearly as old as the place itself. Meager as it may be, it made the place feel festive.

The old jukebox in the corner - usually churning out songs by Chuck Berry, Elvis and The Temptations - hummed holiday tunes and voices that made him remember Christmases long since past. Before the war, before HYDRA, before the snap...when he was just a charming blue eyed kid from Brooklyn, looking out for his sisters and his annoyingly stubborn best friend. Bing Crosby's soothing timbre always brought back fond memories of his ma's cooking and the squeals of delight from the girls when they woke Christmas morning.

His moment of reverie was broken, however, by the sound of another familiar voice.

“Hey Bucky. Merry Christmas!” Y/n smiled and Bucky briefly thought of the prospect of making new Christmas memories to settle alongside those from so long ago.

Y/n followed him with a steaming pot of coffee as he took his seat at his usual booth. She filled the cup to the very brim before leaning against the back of the seat opposite of him.

“Merry Christmas, y/n.” Bucky wrapped both hands around the chipped porcelain mug. “I figured you’d have the night off, bein’ the holidays and all.”

In all the months he’d been coming here, he’d only ever seen her face bright and full of joy. She was sweet and kind and always made a point to have a chat with him about anything and nothing when she had a moment to spare. If he was being honest, part of the pull he felt toward this place was because there was a good chance he’d get to bask in her glow, if only for an hour or two.

But now, the smile on her face drew tight and the light in her eyes dimmed. In an instant, Bucky was filled with a pang of regret. Before he could find the words to apologize, her features melted back into place. He wondered if the cheeriness she tended to exude was simply a mask that he’d failed to recognize.

“Girl’s gotta make a buck somehow, right? Just the coffee tonight?”

Bucky paused, the cup halfway to his lips as he thought about it.

“Actually, I think I’m craving pie.”

Y/n nodded approvingly. “Well lucky for you, we have lots to choose from. Pick your poison.”

Savoring the delicious burn of the first sip of liquid gold, Bucky smacked his lips and tipped his head to one side. “How about you surprise me? Bring two slices of your favorite?”

“Coming right up!”

Bucky watched as y/n made her way behind the counter, setting the pot back on the warmer and moving to the fridge where they kept their pies. Propping a fist on one hip, y/n pursed her lips as she surveyed the options before her.

Bing's voice filled the comfortable silence as he crooned "White Christmas".

“Heya, Buck!” Mel’s voice drew his attention and he turned to find the greying head of the diner’s owner peeking out of the kitchen window. "Merry Christmas!"

“Merry Christmas yourself, Mel. Surprised you’re even open tonight.”

“Everybody’s gotta eat, even on Christmas Eve.” Mel grinned. “Besides, who else is gonna let your ugly mug drink all their coffee for a buck and a half?”

Bucky scoffed and shook his head. “You oughta be grateful I even come in and pay for this sludge, Mel. I could just stay home and drink my own damn coffee.”

“And yet here you are,” Mel quipped back, his gaze flicking to y/n as she approached Bucky’s table with two slices of pie. Mel winked at Bucky before disappearing into the kitchen.

Bucky’s face flushed at the not so subtle implication. And yet, here I am, Bucky thought as y/n set the plate in front of him.

“Chocolate cream pie, huh?” Bucky quirked an eyebrow at her. “I woulda pegged you for a cherry kinda gal.”

“Guess you woulda been wrong then, Sarge.” Y/n shrugged, a smug smile on her lips. “Enjoy!”

Y/n turned to head back to the counter, but Bucky caught her wrist gently. As she turned around, a spark of something between fear and confusion flashed across her face.

“Now where are you going?” Bucky let go of her wrist and motioned at the seat across from him as he continued. “Thought we were gonna have some pie?”

Confusion won over as she narrowed her eyes at him. “You’re gonna have some pie. I gotta get back to work.”

Bucky gestured around the nearly empty diner, his eyes wide with feigned innocence. Only one other table was occupied - a young couple, too giggly and twitterpated to notice anything other than each other. “I dunno. Looks to me like there’s not much work to be done at the moment. And besides, you really think I could eat all this by myself?”

Y/n planted her fist on her hip again and rolled her eyes. “Something tells me you definitely could.”

Gasping in mock offense, Bucky pressed his hand to his heart. “Even the notion! And on Christmas Eve, no less…”

Scoffing, y/n held up her hands in surrender. “Alright, fine. Let me go get a cup of coffee and I’ll join you. But only because it’s Christmas.” Y/n shook her head warily as she walked back behind the counter.

He didn't even try to fight the pleased smile from his lips as he tapped the side of the mug with a vibranium finger. “Maybe just bring the pot?” Bucky called before draining the last of his cup.

A dull thunk against the warped tabletop nearly startled him and he looked up to find y/n already settled across from him, the coffee pot between them.

“Already ahead of you, Bucky.”

Bucky grinned and nudged a napkin wrapped fork in her direction as y/n poured a cup of coffee for herself and refilled his.

“So…” he began, unfurling his fork and immediately scooping up a large bite of pie and jamming it into his mouth.

Y/n’s eyebrow quirked and she paused, fork poised midair as she responded - “So?” - before copying his action, albeit with a slightly smaller bite.

“That’s some damn fine pie.” Bucky licked his lips and hummed in delight as he took another bite. “So, what’s the story?”

Y/n set her fork down and wiped her napkin over her mouth. Bracing her elbows on the table and wrapping her hands around her coffee, she tipped her head to one side.

“What’s what story?”

Bucky at least had the manners to swallow before taking a drink and leveling a measured gaze at her.

“Earlier, your face dropped when I mentioned you working tonight. What’s that about?”

Perhaps at some point in Bucky’s long, long life he’d have danced around the question. But lately he found himself growing more and more blunt. Why not just cut right to the chase without all the benign pleasantries?

Y/n blinked and cleared her throat. “I...uh...I don’t know what you mean.” She smiled at him, though her lips seemed forcibly stretched around her teeth.

Leaning forward, Bucky shook a gunmetal grey finger at her. “Nope. Not gonna cut it. Something’s bothering you, and I wanna help. If you’ll let me.” He sat back, running a hand through his recently shortened locks. “God knows you’ve listened to enough of my bullshit to last a lifetime.”

Tentative fingers wrapped around her fork as she began swirling the tines through the whipped cream of her mostly-uneaten pie. Bucky watched as she distracted herself with the sugary concoction.

“It’s,” she cleared her throat, gaze still trailing the swirls made with her fork. “It’s my brother. He got himself in trouble with some pretty brutal bookies. He came around last week asking for cash; I guess he’s in pretty deep. I gave him the little bit of savings I had, but I guess it wasn’t enough.”

Bucky’s body went rigid and he felt the anger building in his veins. He was thankful her gaze was still downcast, because he imagined the look in his eyes was pretty dark.

Y/n swallowed, setting her fork down with a soft ‘clink’ against the plate. “I came home from work a few days ago and he’d come in and stolen anything he thought he could get some money out of. I dunno; guess he pawned it or something.”

Small whirs and barely audible clicks of metal on metal filled the silence between them as Bucky’s fist clenched nearly as tight as his jaw. He knew she probably didn’t hear it, but to his heightened senses, it sounded like a blaring siren. Schooling his features and relaxing as best he could, he took an extra moment to level the tone of his voice.

“Your brother robbed you to pay off some bookies?”

Y/n eyes shot up, meeting his and widening suddenly as realization struck her. “Shit, I didn’t...please don’t…” She sucked in a shaky breath.

Bucky placed a hand over hers, surprising himself for a second before shaking his head. “Hey, hey. It’s ok.”

Hanging her head, she sighed. “Sometimes I forget who you are. You’re just Bucky, to me. I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to put you in any kind of awkward situation being an Avenger and all…”

Her rambling died as Bucky’s hand tightened around hers reassuringly.

“I think knowing I’m ‘just Bucky’ here is one of my favorite things about coming here,” he offered her a lopsided grin as she met his gaze through watery lashes. “I’m just worried about you. You didn’t do anything wrong, darlin’.”

Releasing his hand, she sunk back into the faded pleather booth and wrapped her cardigan around herself.

“I know. I’m fine. Really.” She picked at an invisible thread on her sleeve. “I mean I can do without a TV or a computer, but he took all the presents I bought for the kids down at the rec center. I’d been saving all year to be able to do something nice for them.”

Bucky’s face flushed with renewed anger. How in the hell did someone so kind and generous and wonderful as y/n wind up with such an asshole for a brother?

“Excuse me, miss?”

Y/n looked as caught off guard as Bucky felt when the young couple from the other table called for her. They seemed hesitant to even disrupt the obviously tense situation.

“I’m so sorry to bother you, but we’re gonna miss our train if we don’t leave soon.”

“Oh no, no, no. You’re no bother.” Y/n sniffed and pasted on a smile as she slid out of the booth and met them at the counter. “I’m sorry I didn’t check on you sooner.”

Their conversation faded into the background as Bucky’s head buzzed with all the ways he wanted to make y/n’s brother pay for hurting her so badly. A voice in the back of his head - one that sounded entirely too much like Steve’s star-spangled-ass for his liking - told him to calm down. It was obvious y/n loved her brother, and anything Bucky’s scrambled mind could come up with to deal with him would definitely end up hurting her more.

So, rather than plotting revenge, Bucky pulled out his phone instead. He began clicking away furiously and got so lost in his mission, he missed the sound of y/n’s footsteps as she neared. The feeling of a warm hand against his shoulder made him jump, the device thumping to the table, narrowly missing his now-cooled cup of coffee.

“At ease, Sarge. It’s just me.” Y/n chuckled and patted his shoulder. “I didn’t think it was even possible to scare you.”

Bucky’s face twisted in smug defiance. “It’s not. I was just distracted, that’s all.” He snorted in derision.

“Uh-huh.” Y/n’s lips pursed, clearly trying to fight a smile. Bucky wished she wouldn’t; he’d give just about anything to see her face light up again. “Well, I’ve gotta go clear their table and start getting things shut down for the night. I just wanted to thank you for listening to me and for always being so...well...you.”

The sound of Bucky’s heartbeat roared in his ears as she leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss against his cheek.

“Merry Christmas, Bucky.”

----

A loud, almost violent-sounding banging on the front door woke Bucky up with a jerk. He scowled, eyes squinted against the faint golden rays of morning sun peeking through his curtains. The clock on his nightstand seemed to mock him with bright, bold, red numbers declaring the time to be 6:48 am.

The banging started again, somehow more violently. Muttering curses under his breath - mostly aimed at Sam for deciding to spend the holiday with his family down south, thereby leaving him to deal with whoever was currently trying to break down the front door - Bucky stumbled out of bed.

Another rapid series of knocks came to an abrupt stop as Bucky swung the door open. The venomous glare melted from his face as soon as his eyes met y/n’s.

“Y/n? What are you…”

His confused mumbling was cut off as y/n pushed inside and began pacing the length of the living room. She looked upset; angry even. Which Bucky could understand, at some level, as he, too, was none too pleased with being conscious at this god-forsaken hour. He watched her silent pacing with a sleepy sort of curiosity, expecting her to either start yelling or crying at any second. When a minute or so passed and she’d done neither, he tried again.

“Y/n? What’s wrong?”

The pacing stopped suddenly as she whirled to face him. The fire burning in her eyes was slightly off putting and not something he was used to seeing from her.

“What’s wrong?!” She stalked towards him. “What’s wrong is that I was woken this morning by a burly man named Carl - who smelled of cheese and tequila and told me he had a load of packages waiting for me in his truck. I was seconds away from calling the cops when he told me that it had all been paid for by someone named J. Barnes.”

Bucky’s head fell forward, a funny heat creeping up his face. A particular plank of flooring had suddenly become incredibly interesting.

Y/n scoffed. “I was confused at first, because I don’t know any J. Barnes, right? Except I do, don’t I James.”

The sound of his given name fell from her lips in a sort of disdainful disbelief that made Bucky’s head snap up.

“Y/n listen…”

“How did you even know where I lived? Are you some type of creepy stalker customer? I never asked for...I didn’t…” y/n huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I didn’t tell you that story so I could be seen as some charity case!”

Bucky held his hands up and took a slow step towards her. When she didn’t step back, he continued to approach her cautiously.

“First off, I know you didn’t. I didn’t mean for it to come across that way. I was only trying to help.” He now stood only a foot away, and made no move to come closer as he continued. “I’m not a stalker, either. I only had EDITH look you up and send the address straight to the delivery company. I specifically told her not to give it to me.”

“Who the hell is Edith?”

Bucky sighed, “It’s not a who, it’s a what. It’s Stark’s AI. The narcissistic bastard called it EDITH - ‘Even Dead, I’m The Hero’.” Bucky rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t help the twinge of pain at the thought of Tony. One of Bucky’s biggest regrets was not being able to make peace with the man before he sacrificed himself against Thanos.

Y/n frowned, opening and closing her mouth a few times. Bucky took a chance and stepped forward, placing his hands gently on her elbows.

“I’m sorry, I swear I was just trying to help. When you said your brother stole all the gifts you’d bought for the kids at the rec center, it made me think of my sisters. There were a few Christmases when my ma couldn’t afford presents and it broke my heart for them. I was just a kid back then and I couldn’t do anything to help, but now I have the means and I just...I just want to help.”

Without warning, Bucky found himself engulfed in y/n’s arms. Her face was warm against his bare chest and he blushed, just now realizing he hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on. He pushed aside his own discomfort and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing tighter when he felt her body begin to convulse with silent sobs.

They stayed that way for...well, Bucky wasn’t sure. It could have been a minute; it could have been an hour. But eventually, her tears subsided and she pulled back, wiping her face and not meeting his gaze.

“Thank you, Bucky” Her voice was so quiet when she spoke, Bucky wondered if he’d only been able to hear it because of his enhanced hearing. “But I can’t accept it. It’s too much, I can’t ask you…”

“You didn’t. I wanted to. For you and for those kids. Every kid deserves a present at Christmas.”

Y/n shook her head, eyes still glossy, though her lips curved in a sweet smile.

“You’re too precious for this world, you know that Sarge?” She sucked in a deep breath. “Ok, fine, but on one condition.”

Bucky frowned. “Condition?”

“Yes. You have to help me deliver them.” Y/n crossed her arms again, a challenging glint in her gaze. “But you should probably put a shirt on first.”

Bucky cringed. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Y/n’s eyes widened as though she hadn’t meant to speak the words out loud.

Bucky fought the urge to make a smug remark and chose instead to ignore it and save her from any further embarrassment. Though he did catalogue that to contemplate later.

“Alright. Let me get changed and then we can get going.”

Bucky smiled and started toward his room, but stopped to face y/n again.

“Oh and y/n?”

Y/n looked at him and Bucky pretended not to notice the way her eyes trailed over his bare torso before she met his eyes.

“Hm?”

“Merry Christmas.”

Like what you see? Want more? My SPN Masterlist is here, and MCU is here. Thanks for reading! :)

A/N 2: I am using my new and improved taglist. If you want to be added, Send me an ask with the list you’d like to be on. Weirdos are for everything, Heroes is MCU and Hunters is for SPN.

Weirdos:

@hannahindie @amanda-teaches @ellen-reincarnated1967 @feelmyroarrrr @masksandtruths @princessmisery666 @jamielea81 @foxyjwls007 @becs-bunker @super100012 @shy-violet-soul @emoryhemsworth @impandagrl @donnaintx

Heroes:

@arrowsandmixtapes @bethbabybaby

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes Fluff #merry manda's christmas drabbles #merry manda #merry manda 2020 #panda writes #panda writes MCU

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svtshine · 4 years ago

Text

Neighbor next door

pairing: Wonwoo x reader

genre: angst to fluff, Neighbors!au, nonidol!Au

type: oneshot

summary: Falling in love with your neighbour best friend

You heaved the heavy box filled with stuff back at your apartment and entered the apartment building yet again. Probably for the 6th time now. You wiped off the sweat that was forming near your forehead and making the hair stick to your face. Even with the aircon from the lift system blasting you, you were still feeling extremely hot and stuffy.

It was an extremely hot day however, you were still very excited to move into your new apartment and meet your new neighbors. You were told from the nice old landlady that the people here were of different variations. Some were working, students like you or parents with newborns or children. It was a way better environment as compared to your old apartment.

At the old district there was hardly any conversations or interactions between you and your neighbors. You clearly remembered the only interaction you had with one of the neighbors, a floor above you, to keep it down. Even though you weren't making any noise. He was a grumpy looking elderly, and he looked at you with such a aggressive look.

You looked at him strangely but apologized anyhow, wanting so badly to return to the book you were then reading. It was getting to the very best part where the charismatic male character was going to kiss the protagonist and confess to her under the mistletoe, on a cold yet beautiful winter night.

You kicked your front door with one hand balancing on the box and the other supporting the weight of the door. You placed the box on the floor where it remained with many other cardboard boxes filled completely with all your belongings.

You sighed out and proceeded to tie your hair up into a messy bun to keep it from sticking onto your face. i just have two more boxes, then i can start unboxing....god there is so much to do, you thought to yourself as you sat on the end of the sofa, taking a short break before leaving for those two boxes again.

Yes it was definitely tiring, but you still smiled to yourself as you thought about the new encounters and relationships that might form in this new building. You took a sip of your opened can of soda that was still cool and sighed out in satisfaction, as the cool liquid helped cool you down for a second and satisfy your thirst.

You smiled brightly and greeted the neighbors that you came across while moving the boxes. They were all very friendly and open in welcoming you, you made note to bake them some of your special cookies later on to thank them.

Wonwoo was just returning from the nearby convenience store, sucking on a cold soda-flavored ice popsicle. Under the sweltering heat and bright sun, this was what he needed. He was nearing the apartment building when he saw you. He didn't recognize you at all, and he was sure he recalled everyone’s faces. You were struggling with a heavier box, and he remembered the landlady coming over previously with a box of brownies and a notice that someone was going to move in to the apartment next to his.

“Wonwoo dear, someone is moving next door, isn’t that exciting” she said smiling brightly

“Really?”

“She looks really gorgeous dear, around your age, Slightly younger i believe. She is moving in next month so do welcome her warmly, ya hear me”

“Yes grandma” Everyone had the habit of calling the warm soul, grandma. She definitely did treat everyone like family, no one dared to mess with her either.

Grandma was watching Wonwoo munch on the delicious brownies and spoke up, “You know maybe you should show her around, get a little closer huh” she smirked deviously.

Wonwoo only took a sip of his milk, “Grandma this isn’t some fictional romance novel” he replied nonchalantly.

“You’d never know my dearest”

His flashback ended and he had noticed that you were still struggling with the heavy box and next to it was a smaller one. He swiftly walked towards to you and took the box from your hands with ease, “here let me help, I’m wonwoo. You must be the new tenant. floor 7, unit 11? i live next door, unit 12″ he spoke up.

it was only then you realised there was a handsome charming man holding onto your box and literally speaking to you, while you stared at him in a slight daze. Holy macaroni, his face is god-like and his voice? come to mama. You continued staring at him, mouth slightly open until he waved his hand infront of you and pulled you out of your imagination. You got flustered at the fact that you were literally swooning over a man you just met, your neighbor for god sakes and in front of him. Get it together Y/n.

“Hey, i’m Y/n nice to meet you Wonwoo” you stretched out your hand to shake his. Wonwoo placed the box on the ground and shook your hand gently with a warm smile. Grandma was right when she called you gorgeous. Wearing a tank top, pajama shorts, a messy bun and slippers, you still looked amazing.

You lifted the small box, “Thanks so much for offering to help, these are my last few boxes and i can finally start unpacking” you looked so relieved that wonwoo chuckled. “No worries, we live beside each other so it would be convenient too” He grabbed the heavy box and walked beside you towards the elevator. The two of you starting a simple conversation.

“I can’t believe we’re gonna be neighbors. Not saying i would hate it, i just kinda pictured the next door neighbor to be someone older” You wondered out loud.

“Grandma did say you were around my age, but i’m glad that you’re friendly. You’ll definitely fit right in” Wonwoo smiled at you. “she also told me that you were around my age, are you attending college?” He asked curiously, looking down at you since you were shorter than him.

“Yeah, i’m attending the college a few minutes walk from here. Psychology course..you?”

“nice, i’m attending the same school but taking business.”

Your stomach growled, you just remembered you haven’t eaten breakfast at all. Wonwoo laughed out loud and you pouted. “Why don’t i help you unpack and get some takeout so that we can share. It’ll help you save time” He suggested. You felt very touched by his kind gesture, “If you don’t mind, it’ll really help, i’ll pay for the takeout.”

The two of you unpacked and continued getting to know each other. It simply clicked between the two of you. There wasn’t any sign of awkwardness, and you never felt uncomfortable at all around him. Wonwoo made you feel at home. talking to him felt like you were reuniting with a friend from long ago.

Wonwoo held up a book from one of your boxes, “Holy shit, i’ve been trying to find this book for ages” you looked up from folding your clothes, “That is one of my favourite books, good eye. i had to queue hours to get that, but at least with the author’s signature as well” you winked at the end at him. His eyes widened and flipped to the first page where in deed, the bold yet elegant signature of the author lay. “i could lend it to you, as a thanks for helping me as well.”

Wonwoo smiled so brightly you were going to faint he looked like a kid who had just received a kitten for his birthday.

From then on, the two of you became the best of friends. Meeting earlier in the mornings to eat breakfast together before morning classes, walking to school together and even eating lunch together most of the times. Wonwoo introduced you to his big group of 13 friends, and not gonna lie when you first met them, you were really intimidated. Most of them were almost a head taller than you and you felt so small standing next to them. However, they welcomed you with open arms and you loved spending time with them and wonwoo.

Movie nights became a weekly thing after the both of you completed all the dued assignments. You would place you leg on his lap and the both of you would indulge in unhealthy snacks and sodas the whole night before falling asleep together.

Doing laundry together, studying at the library together and buying groceries together. it was normal to see the both of you together. There was never an awkward moment between the two of you. For the first time in your life, you trusted a friend that much in such a short time, it did kind of scare you at how fast you trusted this man but well wonwoo had never done anything to make you doubt him. In fact, he has been doing the opposite. Whenever you feel down about missing your parents or a bad test grade, wonwoo would hug you tight and wipe away your tears. He would do anything to make you happy like telling you about the dumb things his friends had done this week and afterwards tuck you in, sleeping on the couch just to be sure you were okay.

You entrusted him with a spare key in case of emergencies. The first time you realised what you felt for him was probably not entirely platonic was when you returned from your part time job one night. You were exhausted, it was a busy night at the restaurant and your manager had you running table to table taking orders and serving dishes. You wanted so badly to just collapse and your bed and sleep till tomorrow noon. You lazily unlocked your door and threw your bag on the floor, bending down to collect your shoes when you realised there was already someone inside your apartment. You recognised the back of Wonwoo’s head, his soft fluffy hair sitting on it giving him a nice look. Wonwoo heard some rustling and turned to find you finally home, “hey y/n welcome home, how’s work?” You organised your shoe and wonwoo came over to give you a squeeze. You felt his warmth and it felt so good to come back and wrap you arms around hi—.

your eyes opened in shock. You realised that with wonwoo, you were always happy. He made you feel at home, just by being next to you. He was your rock, and you looked forward seeing him everyday. Seeing him laying on your couch, a book in his hands when you reached home, immediately made you feel at ease and less tired. It was so natural, seeing him in your apartment, waiting for you to come home to him was normal.

oh my god. i’m falling in love with Jeon Wonwoo

After you started realising your romantic feelings for Wonwoo, you started being more cautious and aware of his behaviours. You would get flustered when your hand accidentally brushes against his when the both of you are walking. When he hugs you, you found is hard to let him go. You realised the sparkles in his eyes whenever he smiled and how much you enjoyed his laughter, never wanting it to stop.

The both of you would continue doing the stuff you’ve originally been doing. Baking together for the neighbours and grandma or going for walks in the park together. Only until one day, Wonwoo told you

“Y/n i’m so excited, i’m going to go on a date” You felt your smile falter, your heart breaking into tiny pieces. All hoped of “maybe he might feel the same way as i am” were thrown out of your window. You dug your fingernails harshly into your skin and you forced yourself to smile again

“hey that’s great, who is she?”

“Min jun, she’s in business as well. Super talented and smart and she’s really pretty too”

tears were starting to form, and you uncomfortably looked down at your lap, “That’s great, when are you guys going out?”

“Tomorrow, 6pm. I’m gonna bring her to that fancy restaurant Minghao recommended me.” Wonwoo looked so excited, it broke your heart even more.

“but won its movie night tomorrow” you said softly. “Don’t worry i’ll get back in time, just maybe a little late” eyes focused on his clothes. He picked out a button down and showed it to you, “Hey do you think this looks like date material”

“yeah” you mumbled. playing with your fingers, trying to distract yourself from breaking down infront of wonwoo. That night you left his apartment earlier than usual, telling him you still had some assignments to complete. If assignments meant crying the whole night.

the next day, you didn’t see wonwoo that much since you had more classes than usual. You were surprised you were still able to pull through them. Your doorbell rang and you opened it to see Wonwoo.

He was dressed nice in the same button down and jeans. His wrist adorned an elegant watch and his hair was styled nicely. he smelled of fresh shave. Your heart was pounding in your chest at how handsome he looked. “Wish me luck Y/n, i’m going to pick her up now” he smiled, showing how excited he was.

“have a great time Won” You said softly, knowing you wouldn’t have a great time knowing the person you love was going to meet someone else. Wonwoo waved goodbye to you and you closed the door. Sliding down the cool wooden surface and onto the ground, bringing your knees together and bawling your eyes out.

It was about 1 am, you sat on the couch waiting for Wonwoo to return for movie night. this heavy feeling of regret on your chest. You wanted to tell him about your feelings, at least let him know how deeply you felt for him. you knew you couldn’t pretend how much it didn’t affect you that he didn’t feel the same way about you.

The doorknob jingled and you realized it was wonwoo unlocking the door. You stood up and cleaned your sweaty nervous palms on your pajamas. Wonwoo opened the door and was shocked to see you still awake and waiting for him, snacks laid out on the coffee table and tv switched on to the netflix channel. “Y/n i wanted to check if you gone to bed already. I’m so sorry, we had such a good time i lost track of it and i walked her home”

Your heart once again broke at the fact that he had a great time. Of course you wanted him to find a nice girl, but it hurt you so much knowing it wasn’t you. “Wonwoo it’s fine...i need to tell you something and it’s really serious” Wonwoo rushed to you and the both of you sat on the couch. “look won, i really treasure our friendship but i just have to get it off of my chest. i-i love you, but more than a friend loves her bestfriend.” The hand that wonwoo used to hold your hand slowly retracted from yours.

“i know you don’t feel the same way” you said, your voice slightly breaking because your tears started dropping freely. “But you found someone, Min jun, who is much better than me anyways. Treasure her okay? i just want you to be happy and if you’re the happiest with her, then she is the road to go” Wonwoo instinctively raised his hand to wipe away your tears, but he brought it back down at the last second. “Y-y/n i’m so sorry, but i-i just don’t feel the same as you do. i really wished that i did” he looked down at his lap

You sighed out, “It’s fine wonwoo, it’s not your fault either, i just want to lay down now so goodnight. See you later Alligator”

“Goodbye crocodile” Wonwoo mumbled.

You snuggled closer into your blankets as you heard wonwoo leave the apartment and let the tears flow freely.

You know what hurts the most? Loving someone who didn’t love you back.

Wonwoo didn’t sleep that night. you were on his mind the whole time. Guilt spreading his entire body as he could still remember the way you looked when you confessed your feelings to him. The way he wanted to hold you so tight then and chase all your problems away. He reached out his hand to wipe away your tears without even thinking but backed away in the end.

He raised his hand in front of his face and stared at it. he knew he didn’t think of you as anything else but a friend.....right? He recalled all the memories he shared with you, food fights when the both of you woke up at 3 in the morning and had the terrible idea to bake cookies right then. The way your eyes lit up as you stared at the fishes in the sea aquarium. How bright your smile was when he brought you to a cat cafe. Oh god he loved your smi--

Wait no. He thought, i like Min jun, yeah the girl i’m going out with. Right?

He didn’t see you around that much anymore. You didn’t invite him in for breakfast. You walked to college on your own and you ate lunch that you have already prepared yourself. Wonwoo’s heart broke knowing you were purposefully avoiding him, trying to get over him. He himself spent countless of nights trying to get you out of his mind. But his mind always wandered back to you, have you been eating properly? Taking enough rests? or overworking yet again. he hasn’t been taking care of himself. Meals were half eaten, his eyes were dull and he hardly smiled anymore. he just wanted to see you again

your smile, your eyes, your gorgeous face, your kind heart.

his head kept convincing himself, Min jun, Min jun, Min jun.

but his heart chanted, Y/n, Y/n, Y/n.

Glasses clinked together, waiters moving around swiftly. Under dim lighting, Wonwoo stared at his date, Seo min. Seo min was talking about her new designer bag that she bought. Wonwoo zoned out of the conversation tapping his fingernails on the table, he switched his phone on from under the table and stared at the screensaver. It was a selfie of you and Wonwoo.

Seo min clicked her fingers to gain wonwoo’s attention. “Hey you okay? you seem distracted”

Wonwoo rubbed his face and flashed her a fake smile, “erm yeah i’m sorry, what were you saying?”. she continued droning on and Wonwoo had to put in so much focus just to hear what she was saying. He realised how similar the both of you looked. H/c hair, same hair length, height. But she wasn’t you. She didn’t want to get know Wonwoo, she didn’t care to ask if he was taking care of himself.

oh god, i’m in love with Y/n, wonwoo realised

“S-Seo min, i-i need to go, i’m sorry. and i can’t see you anymore. Here is the money for this meal. i have to go” before Seo min could even say anything, Wonwoo was running out of the restaurant.

Wonwoo ran like he never ran before, every breath came out as a light smoke as he ran through the cold wintery streets towards the apartment building. He climbed up the stairs as he was too impatient.

Wonwoo impatiently knocked on your door, panting heavily from running and climbing so far. He waited for you to open the door and brushed through his hair.

The multiple knocks on your door made you put down your book and hot chocolate. “I’m coming!” you said, wondering who was visiting you at this hour. You opened the door and was shocked when you saw Wonwoo panting like he just ran miles.

“Won-” wonwoo stopped you by placing his lips on yours, slowly snaking his arms around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. You were shocked for a second, but hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. You broke the kiss first, leaning away and placing your hands on his face waiting for him to talk

“Y/n, these few week has been misery. As cliche as it sounds, it wasn’t the same without you. I missed you so much, your smile, your laughter, everything. Cooking with you, studying with you and even doing laundry together” Wonwoo said voice slightly quivering as all his emotions poured out for you. “i realised as much as i was attracted to Min Jun, my heart belonged to you. I love you, and i didn’t see it before but i really do. I hope that you’ll consider me again and i’ll really like to bring you out” he finished

You gave him a small peck on the lips, “of course Wonwoo.” He gave you the brightest smile, knowing he has you back in his life and that you love him as well, made him the happiest man alive

He wrapped his arms below your knees and carried you into your apartment and onto your bed. The two of you kay and cuddled for a while. Talking about the events that happened when the two of you weren’t talking.

With you, Wonwoo felt like himself. In contrast to how he felt when he was with Min jun. That night he kissed you goodnight and had the best sleep in a few weeks.

Wonwoo has been bringing you on dates for a couple of weeks now, but he hasn’t officially asked you to be his girlfriend. Regular activities such as having breakfast together and spending time together resumed.

On christmas morning, you woke up earlier to make pancakes for the two of you. A pair of arms wrapped around you from behind, you let out a small yelp and Wonwoo’s deep chuckle made your hair on the back of your neck rise.

You turned around and gave him a kiss, “Good morning won.”

“Good morning baby”

You raised your head to realised the mistletoe that you hung were above you guys.

“look won” pointing to the mistletoe, “looks like i get another kiss”

Wonwoo looked up as well, “Well darling, i have one question. Would you like a kiss from won? or a kiss from your boyfriend Won?” he said bringing you closer. “because i would definitely love to kiss my girlfriend Y/n, not just Y/n.”

you can’t believe he was asking you to be his girlfriend, and on christmas morning under the mistletoe. It was a perfect moment. Your hand wrapped against your mouth in disbelief as wonwoo continued staring at you. You finally nodded frantically and Wonwoo’s face erupted into a big smile

He brought you in for a kiss. A kiss under the mistletoe, from your boyfriend next door.

Masterlist

#seventeen #svt #boyfriend #scenario #fluff #wonwoo #Jeon wonwoo #Wonwoo fluff #wonwoo boyfriend #neighbours #wonwoo angst #angst to fluff

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donaidk · 4 years ago

Text

Rhythm of Time - Part II

Happy New Years everyone! Wanted to get at least one more part out before the end of the year 🤪 so here it is, before I get back to the other two in the works. Next one will probably be a bit more action filled, but I just wanted to let you guys into the background story behind the main character, for now 😉

As always, every kind of feedback is appreciated ❤️ Thanks for reading!

Part I | You’re here | Part III | ...

Getting back from the winter break was a lot more exciting this time. Knowing that I will have a bigger role in the team’s life meant I couldn’t wait to finally get back to them. For example pre-season testing was usually not the most interesting part of the season, I still felt like it was the biggest event of the year. I knew it would just get better with the races, but at that second it was everything I was hoping for. I couldn’t even care less about having to work with Mick, as it felt like I was floating over cloud nine because of the few days I got to work in a position that gave me so much control. The only thing I hoped for was it not getting into my head too much. No one really needed me acting like a bitch who knew she could easily break someone’s online character before getting kicked off the team. Mick was a tad bit lucky that I wasn’t truly angry at him.

Travelling to Australia made everything seem even more real as I had to manage all the press day activities even before we got to the country. I knew it won’t be easy work, but I was still looking forward to it and was able to do everything with a smile staying on my face as I actually enjoyed planning everything and not just looking at the plans someone else put together. That was fun too, and the only way you can learn, but after experiencing what it’s like to manage everything myself I would have never changed it back to the original setup. Only if it was the only way to fix a horrible situation.

Arriving at the hotel I knew it would be a night full of turning and tossing as my excitement over the top for the whole flight and car ride to the hotel. I tried having a shower so I could calm down my mind, but as soon as I met up with the team again it just started racing all around the space in my head. We had a little meeting about the next few days in Mick’s room, before everyone called it a night and returned to their rooms. As I wanted to still ask about some of his preferences I stayed with him, as he was packing out a little from his suitcases. I was now just watching him after noting down his answers for my probably dumb questions.

„ Do you usually pack out even for just a few days? ” I asked curiously and saw as his movements stopped for a moment. Thinking about it he probably didn’t expect a question that wasn’t about something professional after what we just went through.

„ Yeah, usually. It feels more organized. ” He shrugged a little, getting out some more t-shirts as I realised I should probably leave. It wasn’t something that strangers should watch you do. At least that’s how I felt like. Just as I was about to stand up and leave he spoke up again. „ Are you comfortable with working next to me? Working with me? ” He asked, still looking only at his clothes.

„ Why wouldn’t I be? ” I asked back immediately before I could have thought about it. If I had waited just a second longer I would have realised what he’s talking about. Or more like implying. „ When I told you I’m over it, I meant it. I would never say something like that without it being the truth. ” I shook my head gently, still standing up from the chair because I felt like it would be better if I leave after this is over.

„ I know, or more like I hoped so. It just feels shitty to know that I acted that way and now you’re almost forced into working with me. ” He sighed, finally turning to me, although his fingers were still fiddling with one of his sweaters. „ I just know that this is still fun and games but will be a lot harder as the season goes on. I just want to make sure that we’re okay and that you know I can be trusted, even if I fucked up in the past. ” He let go of the cotton, coming closer to me but just as my breathing would have stopped from his proximity, he sat down on his bed.

„ Quite literally, yeah? ” I tried joking with him, but as soon as his expression changed I knew it wasn’t the best decision. „ Hey, I was just joking, we’re okay. I have never thought of you as someone who’s irresponsible just because you did something most teenagers do at least once in their life. ” I shook my head, still smiling so he could be sure that I meant what I said.

„ I know most people take part in it at least once, but I have never been like them. I can’t really be like them ever. Still I don’t want to be treated better than how they would be. ” He sounded anxious and I felt like he wanted me to be mad at him, because he thought he wouldn’t deserve how I treated him.

„ I don’t give a shit about who you are. ” I blatantly told him, probably stopping his rambling. „ I’m not mad at you, because you did nothing wrong. If you would do something stupid and would have treated me wrng while we were together, you wouldn’t like to be in the same room as me. Your name couldn’t have saved you from my fury. ” I shrugged looking him straight in the eyes so he would finally understand and accept the situation. „ The only thing I want you to do is to forget about it finally. The quicker we stop talking about it, the less awkward situations we’re gonna have in the future. '' I added as a last thing, so we could fully close this chapter of our life.

„ Understood. Never bringing it back up again. ” He let out a sigh but was finally accompanied by a smile on his face. I was about to stand up and leave finally, when his expressions changed again and I knew he will speak up. „ When did you change your name? ” He asked, making my eyebrows furrow as for a second I didn’t understand his question.

„ Oh… a little after we met. After my birthday. ” I answered, but felt like it was the perfect moment to leave, before we would go too far with this topic. „ It’s my mum’s. Felt more comfortable living with this one. ” I shrugged a little, as I got to his door and opened it so I could finally leave. I quickly wished him a goodnight before turning towards my own room and crossed the hallway to get to it in just seconds.

The next few days still felt awkward, even more because of him bringing up my dad in a way, but I tried to get over it and hoped he wouldn’t ask a lot more about the person I always tried to close off from my life. Even if I could never fully accomplish my plan as he would still be my father and he will be connected to me in a way forever. Luckily with the race weekends time seemed to fly by at 5 times speed and forgetting was a lot easier when you had to focus on your job and tasks. We were already at the fifth circuit when I realised that we finally got over our past and could have conversations without even touching onto it.

As for racing, Mick was doing quite well. He was still deemed new to the F1 cars and the other drivers, but he took on the challenges and did his best. We all knew he won’t be winning the championship this year, also with a Haas car, although we never really talked about this in front of Günther, but he still pushed it to the limit and got everything out of it. Sometimes he asked for more than what it had, but he always caught it in time and got it under control, before anything could have happened. I was mostly just happy that my job only involved the outside world, and not the one inside the cockpit. My nerves could barely handle watching the races now that I knew someone quite personally from the grid. I knew most of the drivers and had talked to them on several occasions, but I never really got close to them. Mick was really something else compared to them, as I spent almost everyday following him, and we never really stayed silent as we attended interviews one by one before and also after practices, qualis and races too. I could say that I did not feel regret when I thought about my decision I took just a couple of months ago.

Even when we arrived in Spain at the beginning of the week, and realised how hot it will be on the weekend, I did not regret having to walk around the paddock almost 24/7 for three days in a row. I wasn’t the only one affected by the heat wave as everyone in the garage moved around slower than usual. They mostly got themselves together for Sunday, as I was quite surprised to see the speed at which everyone was running around when we entered after all the interviews were done. While Mick had to go get ready I took a seat next to the engineers and let everyone else work around us while I took one of the headsets so I wouldn’t lose my hearing this soon.

„ Everything good? ” Pete, Mick’s engineer asked from next to me, as he turned towards me with the headset pushed off of one of his ears.

„ Yeah, he’s doing well. Composed but still confident, whatever they ask him. ” I nodded a little, while I almost blindly got the team profile open so I could make sure it was up to date. „ Is she already here? ” I asked back, knowing that Corinna wanted to attend today’s GP to support Mick.

„ Yes, I saw her talking to Günther but she tried to stay away from the garage. She probably wants Mick to focus on the job and not her. ” He shrugged a little, looking back at the screens in front of him when someone from the mechanic crew came up to him with a question.

Mick was already in the car, seconds away from leaving the garage when his mum showed up. She still stayed in the background until they were given the sign and both cars could enter the pitlane. I sent her a small smile when she passed me, giving up my seat gladly, so she could watch the race and be close to the radio, as I was completely fine with watching it on the screens that were set up for the mechanics. I didn’t really get to talk to her yet since the start of the season, but she seemed kind and I looked up to her for coming to races, even after everything that happened to their family. It meant a lot to her son, every time she came out to support him. Even I could tell, seeing it from the outside.

Both of the Haas cars took the start perfectly, taking up better positions for most of the lap before they all started fighting each other. After the first few laps I went to get myself a coffee, before sitting back down in the garage out of the way as I didn’t really want to block the mechanics if there was going to be a pit-stop or anything. They were just about to call both of them in when we saw Mick spin at turn 10, sliding off the track into the gravel trap, right until the tyre barrier caught the car. My hand stopped in the middle of lifting the mug to my lips, as I watched him crash and hoped that they would show him getting out of the car as soon as possible. I let out the breath that was stuck inside my lungs when I heard Pete talking to him as it meant he was fine enough to communicate. I immediately felt pathetic about my reaction and tried to just slip into the background before someone would spot the worry on my face I was experiencing inside.

Turning towards the engineers I saw Corinna shift in her seat uncomfortably, probably listening to Mick explaining what happened. It wasn’t a horrible crash but there was always a possibility for injuries whenever they hit each other or the barriers. We watched relieved as he finally climbed out and left the car with the marshals, and got onto a golf cart that brought him back to the garage. He was checked out by the team doctor as soon as he got back and was fortunately cleared by him for any serious injury. I let Corinna talk to him before I would bring up having to talk to the reporters.

I only went into his room when the race ended and I knew we would have to leave for the media pen if we wanted to be on time. He was already changed back to team clothing with a little ice pack on his left wrist while holding his phone in his other hand. I cleared my throat to get his attention and he immediately looked up at me, before pushing himself off the bed. I let him leave the garage hallway first, following him as we aimed for the people already standing around the cameras.

„ You only have two. If you feel dizzy or anything just let me know and we can leave immediately. Everyone will understand. ” I told him when I caught up to him. I always hated how I was almost running next to everyone if they were walking at their normal speed, thanks to my shorter legs.

„ I’m fine. ” He answered shortly, looking mostly at the ground in embarrassment. He didn’t seem happy, and I knew that his mood probably won’t change for the day.

He still forced a small smile onto his face when we got to the pen and he held it right until he answered the last question. I was proud of him for how he held himself together even though I knew inside he was angry at himself and how the day went. I followed him back to the garage, being the first one to enter so I could get my things from inside. I waited for him to get his backpack and we left together.

„ What a shitshow of a race it was. ” He let out a sigh as we were walking through the paddocks, towards the parking lot. „ And in front of my mum… ” He added with a sigh, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

„ Everyone crashes once in a while. Corinna was probably just happy to see you get out of there. ” I shook my head a little looking up at him. „ There’s always next week when you can try again. ” I added, trying to lift his spirits even though I knew it probably won’t help.

We were just about to get into the car when someone called my name from behind us, and I knew from just the voice who it was. Stepping away from the door I motioned for Mick to get in so they could leave before my dad caught up to us. I let out a sigh as I watched the car leave and I turned back to see my dad just seconds away from reaching me. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, although I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like talking to him for longer than exchanging a quick ’hi’. Somehow I felt like this won’t be a simple conversation about me getting a real job or about how my siblings are. It was never that straightforward with him.

#mick schumacher #haas #f1 #formula one #mick schumacher fanfic #mick schumacher oneshot #mick schumacher imagine #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 #rhythm of time #bydonaidk

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starlocked01 · 4 years ago

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Second Glances

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Roman has spent years making his aesthetic Gay TM and yet his soulmate's first impression of him is that he's straight. What has he done so horribly wrong? Nothing, but first impressions often are wrong.

Day 18 Prinxiety- Your Soulmate’s first impression of you is written on your skin somewhere

Damn it all the cute ones are straight

The mark appeared on Roman’s 18th birthday at midnight and frankly, he was mortified. He had been out and proud for the past two years and almost always had a rainbow flag somewhere on his person or belongings. How in the world could his soulmate get such an incorrect idea of him?

He interrogated all his friends at school to see if any of them had crushes on him and had thought he was straight but with no luck. Apparently they all had better gaydar than his soulmate.

Roman didn't have much time to worry about soulmates though because in just a few weeks he and his twin were moving into the dorms for freshman year of college. They packed up their entire room and wondered what their roommates would be like.

"I don't know Ro, what if they don't accept me or get uncomfortable with me?" Remus ran his fingers through his hair. He'd been growing it out almost a year now.

"Then I will kick their ass and get you a new roommate. Simple," Roman reassured Remus.

"Heh, thanks Ro," Remus smiled, still visibly nervous.

Roman grinned, "no one hurts my sibling and gets away with it."

On move-in day everything was a whirlwind. The car was packed past full and Roman was a ball of nervous energy.

"Remus, are you ready?" he called up the stairs.

"It's Renee today!" she called back down, appearing at the top of the stairs.

"Oops! My bad. Ready to go, sis?" Roman smiled broadly as she walked down, fussing with her skirt.

"Yeah!"

"Let's go! College here we come!"

Renee was unusually quiet during the drive. Roman spared as many glances away from the road as he could.

"You okay, hon?" He asked gently.

She nodded slowly, "are you sure I won't get funny looks during move in? Should I change into something masc before we get there?"

"No, you will do no such thing. It's a co-ed dorm, Ren. And I'm literally right down the hall," Roman shook his head.

Renee glanced down at her palm, "do you think I'll meet my soulmate today? I mean there's gonna be a lot of people there and it is a fem day…"

Roman smiled, "anything is possible, sis. Just keep being your beautiful self."

Thoughts of soulmates reminded Roman of his own frustrating mark. He kinda wondered what his soulmate’s mark said. Guess he'd think it sooner or later.

After the slightest confusion at sign in, he and Renee were ready to move into their dorm rooms. He decided to help Renee with her stuff first (and to make sure any roommate would know who they had to answer to). They were carrying in their first boxes and found her roommate already unpacked and chilling out at a desk with a book on existential philosophers.

The boy looked up and Roman and smiled extending a hand as he and Renee set down their boxes, "you must be Remus. I'm Janus. Nice to meet you."

Roman glared and opened his mouth to reprimand Janus but Renee spoke up first, "actually, I'm Renee!" she took Janus’ hand and shook it, "Remus is my legal name."

"Oh. Oh, my apologies! You would think I would know not to assume," Janus laughed uncomfortably, "sorry, Renee. It's charming to meet you."

"I'm Roman, her twin brother," Roman's mouth twitched. He was ready to cause a scene if things went south.

"Well, actually this is rather fortunate," Janus looked between the two twins, "I get the feeling you two will be understanding. I'm nonbinary and go by sie/sier pronouns. Again, I apologize for assuming. I hope we can get off on a better second impression."

Renee giggled, "that's so cool! I'm actually genderfluid. We can talk more later though, Roman and I still have to unpack all his stuff too."

Roman sighed in relief and turned to go get the next load of Renee's stuff.

After moving all her boxes from the car, Renee and Janus both helped Roman move his stuff into a room just down the hall from them. Even with moving Renee first, Roman’s roommate was nowhere to be found and he wondered if he lucked out with a no-show roommate and accidental single dorm room.

Renee was bubbly and excited, talking about her roommate and sier interests and opinions. Renee was already pretty infatuated with sier. Roman started to unpack his clothing.

"Ro, this is going to be the best! I'm so excited I can't contain it!" she started bouncing on the bed. Roman chuckled and pulled her into a tight hug.

Just then he saw a boy drowning in a purple and black hoodie stop at the door, double-checking the door number. He was so skinny, the only thing Roman could think was Tim Burton Reject but like Cute. The boy caught sight of Roman and Renee hugging and Roman almost thought he saw the 5 stages of grief flash through his eyes.

"Uh, should I come back later? I think this is my room…"

Roman grinned and walked over to the door, "come on in! Virgil right?" Virgil nodded, "hi, I'm Roman! This is Renee. Need help with your stuff?"

Renee waved and Virgil set his box down, "um sure, thanks."

Renee fiddled with her skirt, "Ro, I'm gonna go change."

"Okay, cool. Name when you get back?"

She skipped out of the room, "Reagan! Thanks Ro!"

Roman chuckled and smiled at Virgil, "you'll get used to them. They're genderfluid and switch kinda frequently."

Virgil nodded and started back down the hall to his car, "how long have you known each other?" His voice was tinted with barely noticeable jealousy.

"Since the day we were born. Reagan is my twin," Roman followed his roommate, oblivious to the confusion on his face.

"Wait.. siblings… ohhhh, oh thank god," Virgil was wide-eyed.

"What?"

"I thought Renee was your girlfriend. That would have been awkward," Virgil flushed with embarrassment and Roman broke out laughing.

"Wow, that's a first! I've never been told my sib looked like my S.O.! You're funny Virge!" Roman hit Virgil on the back in a friendly pat that sent the smaller boy stumbling forward.

They quickly moved the few boxes Virgil had brought into the room and both boys started unpacking. The room was tensely quiet until Reagan came barreling back into the room with their roommate in tow.

"Oh my God! You guys!! Janus is the sweetest bitch," their eyes were sparkling with excitement.

"All I did was offer to help with classwork," Janus mumbled. Sie looked at Roman and Virgil and could feel the awkwardness in the room that Reagan was oblivious to, "so, anyone know a good ice breaker?"

Roman and Virgil replied at the same time, "polar bears."

Janus snorted, trying to contain sier amusement, "not quite what I meant, but A for effort."

"Ooh, have either of you two met your soulmates?" Reagan grinned at Virgil and Janus.

"My birthday is in a couple of months, so I have no idea," Virgil shrugged, taping up an MCR poster.

Janus rolled sier eyes, "no, I'm not really trying to find them either. Their first impression of me is disappointment anyway and you know how impossible it is to correct a bad first impression."

Roman laughed, "I feel like I'm looking for the impossible! My soulmate’s first impression is that I'm straight . How?" he held up the pride flag that he was preparing to hang above his bed.

"I could imagine it if the first time they saw you, you were… I don't know, hugging your sister," Virgil coughed suspiciously.

"Well, I will quickly correct them. Shoot, I forgot to ask. Virgil are you okay with queer stuff all over my side of the room? Because if not we have a problem," Roman smiled nervously and Reagan snickered at him. He supposed he should have figured this out before outing Reagan to Virgil but better late than never.

"You're good, Princey. I might not be flamboyant but I'm definitely gay," Virgil smiled softly.

"How lucky you're rooming together," Janus smirked, "should we dismantle one of the beds now?"

Reagan howled with laughter as Roman and Virgil both vehemently denied that suggestion, faces redder than strawberries.

"Give it a month, Jan," they snickered, wiping a tear from their eye.

"Indeed, bet?"

"20 bucks says you're on."

"We're right here!" Virgil protested.

"Shut up, you know I love you guys," Janus replied smoothly.

"No. No, I don't know that," Virgil flipped up his hood to hide his face from the others and pulled out his DVD collection to sort it. Roman glanced over and gave a triumphant shout.

"I knew it! Corpse Bride, Alice in Wonderland, Nightmare Before Christmas, Beetlejuice? I knew you'd be into Tim Burton!" Roman grinned happily, "fantastic movies!"

"How? We've known each other for like an hour…" Virgil was confused.

"Ah, I think it was the hoodie. You just look like one of his characters, you know?" Roman's grin turned sheepish.

"Fair enough. That is my aesthetic," Virgil shrugged.

"So should we leave you two future love birds alone now or…?" Reagan chuckled. They could tell Roman liked his roommate a lot, even if he wasn't outwardly flirting.

"Excellent idea, Reagan. We can cause more mischief elsewhere," Janus turned to leave with Reagan following close behind sier.

The first semester of classes went chaotically fast. True to Reagan's prediction, Roman and Virgil started dating within weeks. Despite outward dissimilarities, the two made for a good couple, balancing each other's sweetness and snark and flair and dramatics.

Roman couldn’t help but feel nervous as the clock ticked closer to midnight. Winter vacation had been hard enough with Virgil on the other side of the country, but tomorrow was his birthday and Roman was anxious to figure out if the connection he felt with his boyfriend was as deep and as fated as he wanted it to be.

They were facetiming when the alarm Roman had set for midnight went off.

"Happy birthday, my chemically imbalanced romance!" Roman grinned as Virgil shook his head at the nickname, "where's the mark?"

Virgil chuckled, "can't I enjoy being legally adult for two minutes?"

"Virgillllll please?" Roman pleaded, puffing out his lip.

"Fine. I think it's on the back of my neck though. Hang on," Virgil turned off the camera to take a photo while Roman waited impatiently.

Roman couldn’t see his face but he could hear Virgil’s soft gasp, "what is it, love?"

"Did you really think that about me, Roman?" Virgil sounded upset and Roman wished he would turn the camera back on.

"I don't know, V, what does it say? Please turn the camera back on," Roman prodded gently.

The camera flicked back on and Roman could see the back of Virgil’s neck with a single line of shiny scarlet text, "Tim Burton Reject but like Cute."

"Your first thought of me was that I was a reject??" Virgil brought the camera back to his face and Roman could just make out the line of a tear cutting through his makeup.

"Virgil, it's not like that-"

"Well, it sure looks like it! Either that was your first impression of me or we aren't soulmates! I have to live with this on my skin for the rest of my life I deserve to know!"

Roman glared at Virgil, "quite hypocritical considering I have to live with the fact you thought I was dating my own sibling written across my ass!" Roman took a deep breath before continuing, "yes, my first thought of you wasn't the kindest phrasing. First impressions are so often very wrong. People aren't static pictures, they're living art. Just look at Remus; he's constantly changing. And I've seen you change in so many ways the past four months, Virgil. I would never call you a reject now. I'm sorry I did back then."

Roman watched Virgil’s face as he finished his apology. To his surprise, Virgil started to laugh, low and quiet at first but quickly growing.

"You were right though. I was so skinny, so dark, and so edgy- I think just about anyone would have agreed with you. I think you got the short end of the soulmate stick, Ro, because now you're stuck with me, the Tim Burton Reject," Virgil's smile was wide and genuine and Roman clasped his hand to his chest in relief.

"Oh my goodness, you scared me. I thought I was going to be single! Who knew your birthday was the actual nightmare before Christmas," both of them laughed at that, "goodnight love. Text me when you open your present."

Roman smiled as Virgil saluted and ended the call.

Thank the stars they actually were soulmates.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

#tsshipmonth2020 #Soulmate September 2020 #prinxiety #sibling creativitwins #lowkey platonic demus #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #genderfluid remus #nonbinary janus #first impressions #cussing #college au #soulmate au

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dhwty-writes · 4 years ago

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Surprise the Child Surprise

It's my birthday and I can't celebrate because of Covid. So, I decided to treat myself (and you guys) to some self-indulgent birthday fluff. The last scene is a bit emotional but besides that nothing bad happens, no angst, no drama, just 4,6k words of happiness. Enjoy!

Summary: Jaskier and Geralt almost forget Ciri's eighteenth birthday and Jaskier just won't have that. He plans on celebrating it as it should be. Everything goes horribly wrong - until it doesn't.

Read on AO3

Jaskier woke with a start, cold sweat pooling at the base of his spine with the dreadful feeling that he had forgotten something.

Now, that wasn't unusual, not really; he forgot things all the time. Only this time his mind cleared with the horrible certainty that it was something important.

He sat up, heaving in the mild spring air while he took stock of his surroundings, desperately searching for whatever he had misplaced. It wasn't his bag, that was beneath his head, and it wasn't his lute either, that was tied to Roach's saddle – which meant that he hadn't forgotten his witcher either (not that that happened often, but, to his shame, it had been an occurrence in the past). They hadn't forgotten Ciri either, she was sleeping peacefully on the other side of the fi- ‘wait a fucking minute.’

"Geralt!" he hissed quietly. The witcher grunted in his sleep and blindly groped around to pull his lover close. Jaskier jabbed him sharply in the ribs. "Geralt!"

"What?" he snapped and opened his eyes, alert for any danger. "What the fuck, Jaskier?" he growled when he noticed that they were the only ones around. "It's the middle of the night."

"I know!" Jaskier whisper-shouted. "Be quiet or you'll wake Ciri!"

He groaned and flopped back down. "Don't I deserve the same courtesy?"

"Shh!" he made again. "It's about Ciri!"

"What's about Ciri?"

"It's almost Belleteyn," he informed him solemnly

"So?"

"So, your child surprise is about to turn eighteen years old."

"Shit happens," Geralt grunted and turned to his side. "Lie down and go the fuck to sleep, Jaskier."

"What do you mean, shit happens?" he gasped, doing a very poor job of keeping his voice down. "We have to do something about it!"

He sighed exasperatedly and rubbed at his temples. "We can't stop a birthday, bard. Now get back here, so I can sleep."

"I don't want to stop it, idiot!" he hissed. "I want to celebrate it."

"Jaskier!"

"What?"

"Not now!"

"Right," he mumbled dissatisfied and moved to lie down beside him in his outstretched arms. He sighed content when Geralt wrapped himself around him, and even threw one leg over his hips to keep him in place.

And while Jaskier's body settled down, his eyes drooping tiredly, his mind wasn't quite able to shut down. There were a lot of austerities on the Path, Jaskier knew. His foot started tapping nervously. In the past twenty-eight years he had learned to live with the blisters on his feet and the reappearing holes in his clothes as well as the occasional dry spells, both in a literal and a figurative sense. But not celebrating Cirilla coming of age? That surely went too f-

"Jaskier," Geralt groaned.

"Yes, my dear?" His foot stopped twitching as he focused on the rumbling in the chest behind him.

Geralt nuzzled his neck gently. "You're thinking too loud."

"Right, I'll just stop doing that!" He rolled his eyes. "Great idea, Geralt, why didn't I think of it myself?"

He groaned wordlessly and tightened his grip on him. "Please," he whispered, "mercy. Anything to let me go back to sleep..."

Jaskier sighed. "Just keep holding onto me?" That usually helped him ground himself. He knew that Geralt was right. It was no use driving himself crazy now. He only hoped that his tireless mind that knew no rest would come to the same conclusion soon.

In the end, he must have fallen asleep, for Jaskier woke the next morning with a terribly foul mood that usually came with not enough rest. Ciri was joking around with him, completely unsuspecting of anything and Geralt didn't stop shooting him reproachful glances that he translated as ‘told you so’.

They broke camp a bit slower than normally but soon they were back on the Path again. Ciri galloped off on her mare a few times while Jaskier and Geralt enjoyed a more leisurely pace, Jaskier using her absence to continue conspiring with a hushed voice: "Geralt," he hissed and leaned over to him.

Geralt rolled his eyes and pushed at his shoulder. "You're going to fall off," he chided.

"Pfff, fiddlesticks!" he scoffed. Still, he sat upright in Pegasus' saddle again. "We need a present," he determined. "A good one."

The witcher shook his head disbelievingly. "I still don't know what all that fuss is about."

"She's coming of age, Geralt!" He threw his arms open wide, tugging sharply on the reins in the process and Pegasus snorted in annoyance. "This is a special day!"

"What are you two talking about?" This time Jaskier truly almost fell off.

"Ciri!" he exclaimed while trying to regain his composure. "Melitele's tits, you scared the living daylights out of me!"

She snickered mischievously. "Twenty-eight years on the Path, Jaskier, and still that jumpy. By the looks of it I'll soon be the one protecting you!"

"Well, that only speaks of your prowess with that sword of yours," he answered light-heartedly. "But I assure you, I won't be in need of your defence in the near future."

Geralt snorted. "You couldn't handle anything more dangerous than a very determined squirrel."

Jaskier gasped in mock offence and swatted at him while Ciri laughed. "How dare you?" he bristled. "I could handle a very determined rabbit at least! Besides, I trust that you will burden yourself with the duty to rescue me from any further possibly lethal situations. Just as you did in the past."

Geralt hummed quietly but it was a soft hum, the kind that always managed to set butterflies loose in Jaskier’s stomach. ‘After all these years,’ he thought happily, ‘I am still the luckiest man on the continent.’ And how could he not, with his quiet witcher by his side, who showed his love daily in a thousand ways that never required words.

"So, what were you talking about?" Ciri asked curiously and brought him back to the present.

"You don't want to know," Geralt grumbled the same moment that Jaskier winked exaggeratedly and said: "Oh, nothing, dear."

She wrinkled her nose. "Gross," she declared and spurred off again.

As soon as she was gone, Jaskier shot Geralt a pointed look that said as much as 'Do you understand why I wanted to talk about this at night now?' and the witcher sighed.

"Fine," he conceded. "But no dramatics."

Jaskier gasped and clutched his chest dramatically. "I would never!" A wide grin spread on his face. Secretly, he had been making plans for months. He already knew what gift he would present her with, he knew what cake he would order in a bakery. He even knew a nice quiet clearing with a lake in the area where he had once deflowered a fair maiden but now it would be perfect for the birthday celebration of the Lion Cub of Cintra – who he really should stop calling Cub, now that she was a woman grown, come to think of it. With the xenovox he even could invite the rest of their little family.

“Jaskier…,” Geralt growled as warning but it only made him grin wider. He was sure that everything would go just perfectly.

~*~

"This is horrible!" Jaskier croaked and sniffled.

"Come on, Jaskier," Geralt said softly, "it's not that bad."

He coughed violently and clung to his lover. "I'm sick, Geralt," he lamented in a whisper, the loudest sound he could manage, "I'm sick and can't sing. This is a catastrophe as terrible as there ever wa-" The rest of his tirade was drowned out in another fit of coughing.

"Shhh," the witcher made and rubbed his back soothingly. "Don't overexert yourself. And stop talking, you're only making it worse."

"You sound entirely too pleased with my miserable condition."

"I assure you; I am not. I prefer your singing to your whining. I mean it, though. Stop talking."

He rolled his eyes and shot him a look that said as much as 'as if that's ever gonna happen'. Judging from Geralt's snort the witcher found his own joke hilarious, too. "You're horrible!" He swatted at him. "I am lying on my deathbed and-"

"I assure you; you are not."

"-you are still treating me badly. I don't even know why I put up with you!"

Geralt smirked. "I've been asking myself the same thing for the past three decades..."

Jaskier let out a strangled shout and punched him weakly in the chest. The witcher only laughed and responded with a kiss. 'I guess it does have advantages to have a lover who can't get sick,' Jaskier mused.

"You're cute," Ciri said fondly as she stepped through a portal onto the clearing.

"Ciri!" Jaskier exclai- well, tried to exclaim and whispered instead. "Oh, I am so sorry that I am in this wretched state today of all days," he said and tried to scramble to his feet only to be promptly pulled down by Geralt again. "Stop that, you donkey arse, I'm trying to wish your daughter a happy birthday."

"The sentiment is very much appreciated," Ciri told him and squatted down beside him, "but I am not the incapacitated one." She smiled softly and held out a vial. "Got you medicine. Drink up, Jaskier."

He scowled angrily which undoubtedly resulted in a ridiculous pout, but didn't try to resist too much when Geralt uncorked the vial and held to his lips. He did complain, though; it was one of his greatest strengths after all. "That tastes like piss," he lamented.

Ciri laughed and arched an eyebrow. "And you know what that tastes like because...?"

He winced. "That's a story for when Uncle Lambert gets you drunk the first time this winter."

Geralt's grip on him tightened. "No, he won't."

"Sure," Jaskier drawled and winked at Ciri who grinned excitedly. 'Just you wait,' he mouthed and made grabby hands towards her. "Can I give you your annual birthday hug at least?"

"That you can!" She wriggled closer and batted Geralt's hands away. "Scoot, you can have him again, later. Right now, it's my turn for the best hug on the Continent."

Pride welled up inside him when he heard that as if he had just won the Oxenfurt bardic tournament. And even though he was not willing to admit it there was a tiny tear in the corner of his eye when he pulled her close. "Happy birthday, Ciri," he whispered, the tears stealing his voice as much as his ailment. "I'm so, so very proud of you, cub."

"Thank you, Jaskier," she answered, her voice just as heavy as hers.

It felt nice and Jaskier allowed himself to sink into that feeling until- "Who are you and what are you doing to my daughter?" the sharp voice behind him startled him and he tried to scramble away.

"Yennefer, what the fuck?" he croaked hoarsely.

The sorceress just laughed and even Geralt snorted amused. "Gets you every time. What is that, a knee-jerk reaction, or-!"

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," he rolled his eyes only to be pulled into another hug.

"Oh, shoo!" Ciri said and held on tighter. "I'm not done here yet and I'm the birthday girl. Besides, I'm his as much as I'm yours."

'Huh,' Jaskier thought as he closed his arms around her again. ‘Whatever she means with that.’

To his even bigger surprise, Yennefer agreed: "Yeah, we did a pretty damn good job raising that little rascal." There was a tiny pause. “All three of us did.”

Geralt hummed and closed his arms around him again. 'Oh,' Jaskier thought as he realised what they were saying and there was no stopping the tears now. He had never thought himself as part of Ciri’s chosen-few of educators doubling as parental figures. ‘And yet,’ he thought, ‘here we are.’ “Are you serious about that?” he whispered quietly enough that he hoped Yennefer didn’t hear.

“Sure am,” Ciri answered and squeezed him tightly.

"Are you crying, bard?" Yennefer mocked, but there was no true edge to her voice. "That's pathetic."

He sniffled and raised his middle finger in response. The sorceress laughed and Ciri slowly let go. She got up and walked over to her to receive her birthday wishes, too. Jaskier used the time to get comfortable in Geralt's lap again.

The witcher had already congratulated her early this morning when Jaskier had still been certain to meet death on the damp forest floor somewhere in Kovir of all places. After ten pathetic minutes of his whining, Ciri had taken pity on him and opened a portal to go get medicine somewhere. He hadn't asked where but knowing her mother — or rather any of her parents — there was no way there wasn’t some level of illegality involved.

"So, I guess we're staying here for today?" Ciri asked, turning towards them again.

"That was the plan anyways," Geralt mumbled.

"The plan?" Ciri asked disbelievingly. "You had a plan?"

"Now come on, Cub, that would hardly be the first t- yeah, shutting up," Jaskier mumbled as he saw the three pointed glares directed at him.

"Please," Ciri mocked, "you don't do plans. None of you."

"That's untrue," Yennefer chimed in, "we do, in fact, do plans.”

Jaskier added: “Alas, they’re always deferred by fate.”

“They’re shitty from the start,” Geralt concluded.

They all shared a hearty laugh which ended in another coughing fit from Jaskier. Geralt fell silent as once and glared at him angrily. "If you don't stop talking now," he growled, "I'll gag you."

Ciri and Yennefer gagged in unison. "Gross," Ciri declared. Ridiculously, he was relieved to see that. 'Come on, Jaskier, she's not a completely different person just because of one stupid day,' he reminded himself. But when Geralt squeezed his hand, he knew that he was not alone with his thoughts.

"So," their daughter asked as she sat down against a log, "what was the plan?" She looked at them expectantly.

Geralt 'hmmed' and made no apparent attempt to start talking. Jaskier rolled his eyes but determined to elude a smelly rag shoved into his mouth – he had no doubts that the witcher would go through with his threat – he kept his mouth shut and began jabbing him in the ribs with his finger instead while he gazed at him pleadingly. "No," the witcher said sharply but began talking at least: "Jaskier wrote a song for you. Wanted to serenade you. Pity he can't do that now."

Yennefer snorted. At least Ciri smiled sympathetically. "I'm looking forward to hearing it. Once you can hold a note again."

Jaskier hit Geralt sharply in the ribs with his elbow and made grabby hands.

"Will you be able to keep from singing, if I hand you your lute?" the witcher asked doubtfully.

He nodded eagerly and Yennefer shook her head, laughing loudly. "Liar."

Geralt patted Jaskier's head but made no attempt to fetch him his lute. Defiantly Jaskier crossed his arms. Not that anyone of the present people cared for it.

"There's also cake," Geralt continued. "Jaskier insisted."

"Where?" Ciri arched an eyebrow. "With the horses?"

"Hmm."

"Ah. I think you mean to say there was cake." She pointed her thumb at where Roach was happily munching out of- the black saddlebag the cake was stored in.

"No!" Jaskier croaked and jumped to his feet. "Bad horse!"

But before he could dash over to her, Geralt caught him by the scruff and pulled him back down. "Bad bard," he growled. Yennefer and Ciri didn't even try to hide their laughter.

"This is the worst birthday I've ever planned," Jaskier moaned woefully. That alone sent the two women into another fit of laughter and once Geralt clamped his hand over his bard’s mouth and they resumed their discussion with wide gestures (Jaskier) and pointed glares (Geralt) they were positively howling with laughter.

"So," Ciri said, once she had recovered. "You wanted to stay here for a whole day doing what? Listening to one song and eating a cake?"

"Of course not! Who do you take us for, Ciri?" Yennefer asked. "I wouldn't dream of punishing you with one of the bard's mediocre songs as your only present."

He showed her his middle finger. Again.

She smiled brightly and continued: “There’s a banquet table waiting for you behind another portal. With proper cake.”

He held up his second middle finger, too, for good measure. At least until Geralt pressed his hands down again.

"Show her," he told Yennefer and Jaskier sat up a bit more. Geralt had refused to provide him with so much as a hint for whatever he had planned for Ciri's birthday, but judging from his secretiveness it had to be huge.

"Are you sure?" the sorceress inquired. "It was your idea, after all."

The witcher just shrugged, and then Yennefer shrugged, too, and handed Ciri a velvet pouch. "Happy birthday, ugly one," she told her with a soft smile.

The girl looked at them questioningly before opening the little bag. She turned it upside down and Jaskier leaned forward to get a better look. They gasped in unison when the silver chain slid out. "Where did you get that?" she asked disbelievingly as she traced the wolf's head on the medallion with her thumb.

"Found it years ago," Geralt said simply as if he hadn't just gifted her an incredibly rare artefact of his school. "Was waiting for the right moment. Gave it to Yen for safekeeping. Thanks."

"Well...," the sorceress said, "I might have... modified it."

"Yen...," Geralt said reproachfully but she only raised her hands in innocence.

"Don't worry! None of the original qualities are lost. I know this stuff. After all, I've done it before." She tapped the amulet around her throat. "Remember Ellander, Ciri?"

She nodded, her eyes still on the medallion. "I couldn't look away from it."

Yennefer smiled. "This is just the same."

She raised her eyes. "Geralt..."

Jaskier felt him shake his head behind him. "It's nothing. You're a witcher, aren't you? Trained in Kaer Morhen like the rest of us. You're meant to have one."

Without any sort of warning, Ciri flung himself at Geralt, trapping Jaskier awkwardly in the midst of their hug. "Thank you," she said over and over again, "thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

Jaskier uncomfortably cleared his throat. "Umm- D'you want me to?"

"Shut up, Jaskier," they said simultaneously. Ciri let go with one arm to point at Yen. "And you! Stop pretending and join the hug!"

"Now that's no way to talk with your mother-" Ciri and Jaskier groaned and rolled their eyes. "Fine," she decreed. "Just don't think too much of it." But then, to Jaskier’s astonishment, she came over and hugged them, too.

Ciri sighed happily. "This is the best birthday I could have wished for," she confessed. "And the best family, too." And, in the end, that was all that mattered.

Yennefer stayed for the rest of the day but when they all woke up on the next morning, she had already said goodbye to Ciri and vanished without a trace. Geralt insisted on waiting for another day but Jaskier wanted to hear none of that. He was feeling well enough, he claimed, and they could resume their travels.

~*~

It took a week for his voice to fully return and another for him to find a quiet moment to finally give Ciri her present. Geralt had gone off to- do something, he was sure and he approached Ciri nervously.

"Hey," Jaskier said softly and sat down next to her, gently nudging her with his shoulder, "watcha thinking about?"

"Hmm," she made stoking the fire until sparks danced up into the night. "Just... stuff."

He nodded. "I imagine," he agreed but made no attempt to press her further. She wasn't like Geralt in that aspect. He knew she'd open up eventually.

After a while she asked: "Do you think we'll ever know peace?"

"The continent? I'm sure of it."

"No," she shook her head. "We. You, me, Geralt. Yennefer and Triss. Lambert and Eskel. All of our little family, I mean. Do you think we'll ever have a place to call home? Where we won’t have to fear?"

Jaskier laughed at that. "Who knows? There's nothing certain in life, little cub, you should know that. There might come a day when you and Geralt sheathe your swords. A day when the last portal closes behind Yennefer. Or there might not be. There's something that won't change, though, and that's a promise."

"And what's that?"

"Wherever you go, my songs won't be far behind. You'll never be alone on your Path. And that's a little bit like home, too, isn't it?

Ciri smiled. "I guess it is."

"Now, I believe I promised you a song, didn't I? Would you like to hear it?"

"Yes, Jaskier, I very much would."

"Great!" He shot up and wheeled around, lunging for his lute. He slung the lute strap over his shoulders and bowed with a flourish that made Ciri laugh. "Ladies, gentlemen and noble steeds," he announced, "I present to you my newest creation: The Ballad of the Lion Pup." He hesitated for one moment. "Just- this is for your ears only, Ciri. I mean every word of it, but no living soul must ever hear it. Do you understand?"

“I know.” She nodded solemnly and tipped her head back to gaze at the stars. "Just sing it already, Jaskier."

"Right..." he said and gingerly plucked the first few notes of the song. Then, he began to sing:

In a time of dark and blood and war

There was a princess fair.

And though she knew the woes of life

She did never despair.

When the White Sun rose above our heads

And the Lioness did fall

The Lion Cub then quickly fled

To escape from Nilfgaard's thrall.

For years she ran, for years she searched

For a wolf as white as snow.

And when they met, their fates entwined,

It was the end of all their woes.

Up north inside the White Wolf's den,

The Lion Cub did grow.

Amidst the stone and winds and ice,

New life and love did rise.

And though she had arrived a Cub,

She never left as that.

The Cub did turn into a Pup,

Part of the White Wolf's pack.

The White Wolf was the first to love,

His destined Child Surprise.

And so, the Wolf both strong and rough,

Held the young girl when she cried.

The wise Grey Wolf taught what he knew,

As he'd done for all his life.

So, in the Den life grew anew,

The pack again did thrive.

The Strong Wolf and the Small One, too,

Loved their Pup just as much.

For after years of grief, they knew,

The glory of a laugh.

Then there joined into the fray,

A lonely Griffin in his nest

At night they loved to sing and play

Whatever they loved best.

In sorcery she was well trained,

For witches she knew two.

And so, the Pup a sister gained

And then a mother, too.

Do trust that this whole song is true,

For I was there, as well.

And I loved her 'til the end of time,

So, believe the tale I tell.

In a time when our whole world burned

There was a princess fair.

But she was loved and loved in turn

So, she did never despair.

The last notes drifted off into the night and Ciri looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered.

There was a quiet harrumph from the edge of the trees and Jaskier spun around. "Geralt!" he exclaimed happily, taking in the fond expression on his face. "Did you listen?"

"I did," he confessed quietly opening his arms for the bard. He quickly set his lute down and hurried over to him.

Ciri got up with an exaggerated sigh and roll of her eyes. "Ughh," she said and grabbed her bedroll, "I'll set up camp elsewhere."

"Don't go too far!" Jaskier called after her.

"Don't be too loud," she replied, obviously doing her best to sound annoyed and failing miserably. "I fucking hate it when you're loud."

Jaskier snickered quietly and turned to loop his arms around Geralt's neck. "Just like her father," he whispered against his lips, "feigning annoyance to mask her softness."

"Hmm," Geralt made and kissed him. "I'm doing a better job, though."

"No, you're not. And I love you for it." He pecked him on the mouth.

"I also seem to recall another father of hers who's horribly dramatic. And whines three days about splinters up his arse after sitting on a log I told him not to sit down to."

"That's not fair." Jaskier wrinkled his nose. "You see, you don't have all the facts."

"Which are?" the witcher asked and pulled him closer.

"That I happen to be endowed with a rather shapely arse," he replied grinning cheekily, "which you aren't allowed to touch if there's so much as a sliver of wood in it."

"Hmm," Geralt made contemplatively and lowered his hands to grasp his backside firmly. "I'm not convinced. Might need to get a better look at it."

Jaskier laughed loudly and dove in for a kiss. "That you shall have," he promised and tugged him towards their bedrolls.

When they laid side by side afterwards, as naked as the day they were born with tangled limbs and mingled breaths, Jaskier sighed contently. "So," he said, pillowing his head on Geralt's chest, "some review? Three words or less."

"Shapely arse indeed," he mumbled, his voice heavy from exhaustion and bliss.

He slapped him lightly. "Not that, you idiot witcher. The song. Did you like it?"

"Hm." Geralt buried his face in Jaskier's hair. "Loved it. Love all your songs."

"Really? Because I seem to remember some comment about my singing and its resemblance to a fillingless pie."

He groaned. "Fuck, Jaskier, that was years ago."

He snickered. "Always love to tease you about it."

"I'm aware." After a short pause he added: "Can I ask you something?"

"Always, darling."

"In your song... It's not like the songs you sing about me. It's not about... her deeds."

"No," he agreed, "it isn't."

"Why"

"Because the people needed reminding that you were their protector all along. With Ciri they need reminding that she is more than just their protector. As does she herself." He propped himself up on one elbow and gently stroked Geralt's hair. "In a century or five or ten, stories of her will fade. They won't remember the colour of her hair, or her favourite food or that she fell in love with that lovely girl three months ago." Geralt shot him a bewildered look and he sighed. "Though I can hardly hold it against them if her own father didn't know."

Geralt scowled. Tired as he was, it was the most adorable effigy of a pout. "I still don't understand."

"They will always remember her heroics," he explained patiently. "That's not what's important, though. The important thing is that she's loved and loves in return. And that she never forgets it."

"Hmm," he hummed and frowned even harder. "I love you."

Jaskier blinked stunned for one moment. 'Oh Geralt,' he thought as soon as it hit him, 'you only needed to ask.' In his mind there were a thousand odes to Geralt's love already, a myriad of songs that had never been sung, never out loud, at least. Not even when it had been only him had he dared to do that, but now- "And I love you, too," Jaskier sighed contently and snuggled closer. He kissed him on the cheek. A promise, a sacred oath between them, understood without ever saying the words. 'I'll sing of your love, too.'

His mind was already drifting off to sleep when he heard Geralt whisper: "There's peace in your arms for me. There's a home in your songs. With you, there’s nothing I fear."

With a content smile on his lips, Jaskier slept. Peacefully.

#my writing #this is my birthday present to myself #and to you guys #there be TOOTHROTTING FLUFF #also #if you want to make my day #maybe send a prompt my way?#I've literally got not plans for today #geraskier #geraskier fanfiction #geralt/jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geralt of rivia #Jaskier #cirilla #cirilla of cintra

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