#literally me at age 10 picking up a copy of the name of this book is secret at my middle school library:

[merlions]

Just tonight finally getting around to watching the new Dune - I was waiting cause some small part of me thought I'd be able to actually finish the book this time, but I finally have to admit defeat like the last time I tried.

Always been SO baffling to me how everyone seems to regard it on the same level as other sci fi novels, like Tolkien. I ate Tolkien for breakfast at 24 years old where I struggled with it even at 17, and since I first tried Dune at 14 I thought it might be the same principle, but I couldn't even get through the *audiobook* of Dune at 25 without like terrible headaches from just being so. Fucking. Confused.

Specifically the names! Not just names of people, but also titles and places etc etc etc.

Anyways while watching this I realized my problem FINALLY, and realized that I've been like imposter syndroming myself into believing I don't have mild color-grapheme synesthesia.

Dune is literally confusing to me JUST because A's and H's and K's are really similar colors to each other for me (arrakis, atreides, harkonen, kwisatz haderach etc (...i had to look up all those names cause i literally couldnt remember them as im watching the damn movie lmfao)) and they're also really similar to the color of the desert on the book cover, all like shades of red, some of which become oranges with the rest of the word. So reading the book to me is like. Every time a name comes up I am staring at a block of sandstone. Trying to pick one color out of the multitude of nearly-identical hues.

Which makes sense I guess why it's so frustrating to read, but also is a fascinating, COMPLETELY new insight as to how I read books or read/hear words in general. Like...it never occurred to me that that was the problem cause I genuinely didn't know I primarily use color to tell people/words apart.

I've always been a "speed reader", like is that just bc I identify a word and its color, and then every time it reoccurs I just notice the color and then mentally fill in meaning instead of reading the word again?

What implications does this have. I know color grapheme is the most common form of synesthesia, is it common to have problems reading like I have with Dune, or do people with it find themselves reading faster because of it? I heard it's supposed to be distracting but except in very specific cases, like Dune, it seems to specifically be helpful and clarifying? And like I find myself never going out of my way to get certain colors of things, but always ending up with that specific color of thing - ex. I never try to buy red backpacks but at one point I noticed every backpack I've ever owned in my entire life has been red. Have I been leaving myself messages. Have I been receiving messages from the Spice. Spice must flow. Spice must flow

[the-boy-meets-evil]

tell me how it got this way | ch.5

pairing: jungkook x f.reader, hoseok x f.reader genre: fwb to lovers/friends to lovers, love triangle | angst, smut, fluff | non-idol!au chapter rating: mature, minors dni warnings: drinking, mentions of sex (nothing explicit), jimin is a little shit (affectionate), swearing, i think that's it word count: ~6k a/n: other idols pop up in this chapter (ateez & seventeen), they're really just used as names. ages aren't relevant and you can assume they're all generally around the same age. the final part (at least for what i have planned) is also finished and i'm going to post that next week! prev | masterlist | next

When Namjoon had initially pitched the idea of selling the movie rights for your books, your answer was immediate. No. Movies rarely, actually, came out as good as the books and you felt like you lost so much of the finer detail. If you had wanted to see your work on the big screen, you would be writing screenplays instead of full-length novels. Which, okay, that sounded pretentious even in your head, but whatever. Namjoon got the picture and the conversation was tabled temporarily.

About two months after that, Namjoon had found what he called a compromise. You weren’t sure how it was a compromise since it was your work and you didn’t want to sell the rights. Until Namjoon reminded you that the publishing company also had a stake. Point: Namjoon. It was a good point, though, because a streaming service wanted to pick up the rights to just the first book as a test and do a limited-run series as opposed to a movie. Namjoon was very clear on the differences here. The budget, in some ways, would definitely be smaller, you aren’t looking at big superstar names, and, most importantly, you have to either sign on as a co-writer for the screenplays or fully sign the rights over. They were fine with either option, they just knew that there wasn’t enough in your book for the standard 8-10 episodes.

And that answer was just as immediate. Yes. These were the kinds of chances that authors hoped for. Yes, it will still be different from the book. This just gives you much more leeway to include the important details and even flush characters out more in a way that’s just too much for a book. You’re not Stephen King over here releasing his “unedited” version of The Stand, which, if you’re being honest, was kind of (read: insanely) self-indulgent. Not that you’re comparing yourself to Stephen King, either. To each their own and all that.

So, with Namjoon’s guidance, you signed a deal where you’d co-write the episodes with a team who actually have a lot of experience doing just that. Really, you know you’re just there to keep everything true to the world that’s lived in your head for years. That’s why they want you. Some people will stumble onto this show never having heard of the books (and Namjoon hopes it’ll make them buy a copy), but others will tune in expecting it to come off the same way they’ve been imagining, for characters to make decisions that feel authentic. 

You actually kind of loved the writing sessions. It was really amazing to see how things came together and to be in a room where you didn’t need to shout to be heard. Everyone there was genuinely interested in your feedback, and you tried to be conscious of when to just let the process unfold. It was collaborative in the best way. The only hard thing was keeping it all under wraps from almost everyone. The whole team had decided that they wouldn’t announce the news until the rough copies of the scripts were finished enough to move on to casting.

Now, that you’re having to sit through casting auditions, you’re rethinking your entire life that has led to this moment. No, that is not dramatic. You gave the casting team literal pages on pages for every character that needed to have any sort of significant role in the show and had even worked with someone for fucking *mood boards* for the main characters. There were days when you barely slept because you had to churn things out for casting. All so you could turn the rough scripts into final copies. What else did they want from you? 

To sit through casting calls, apparently. So fine. You can eat craft services with the best of them.

After a few days, you do start to see the point in it all, see the times when the casting team liked two people for a particular part and looked to you as the deciding factor. While it felt like a lot of pressure, it also allowed you to make sure everything felt right. It was never just about physical appearance, that was always fluid. You also didn’t want Kristen Stewart in the Twilight movies with one damn expression the entire time. (No shade to Kristen Stewart, it just wasn’t anyone’s best look in those movies).

The one positive is that you’ve managed to meet a few people you actually kind of like. And, okay, yeah, they’re mostly assistants to some of the more important people in the process, but those people are stuffy and very unlikely to gossip with you around the water cooler. Since you’ve never had a normal office job, this is a very important part of actually getting to work with people. Namjoon scoffs a lot at this, says that it’s probably good that you haven’t had a normal office job. He spends a lot of time letting you know actual office jobs aren’t anything like sitcoms, which is funny considering the office where he works. Maybe he doesn’t gossip around the water cooler, but you’ve definitely seen the assistants gathering. Even heard his name come up a time or two. Heard how attractive they all seem to think he is. They’re not wrong.

Your new friends are also the type of people who insist that you absolutely have to join them when they decide happy hour is the perfect way to end the day. As San points out, you have the morning off tomorrow anyway. When you ask why it would matter if it was just happy hour, Wooyoung promptly elbows San hard in the ribs and says it doesn’t. You don’t miss the conspiratorial look on their faces, but fuck it. Happy hour sounds good.

Your head is pounding and it feels like you got hit by a freight train. You don’t even remember getting that drunk the night before. The whole evening is kind of a blur of shots and bright lights and off-key karaoke. It was just supposed to be happy hour, which you learned quickly was your first mistake. There was no such thing as just happy hour with San, Wooyoung, and their insanely chaotic group of friends. And as the sleep is wearing off, something else creeps in. There is an arm draped over you. You’re not alone in your bed. Peeking one eye open, you’re immediately struck with the fact that these aren’t your walls, not your sheets, this isn’t your bed. You’re praying on everything that you don’t believe in that the arm belongs to one of the other people you’d gone out with the night before. You remember thinking one of Wooyoung’s friends was cute and tall and smiley, a little flirty and a little shy too. And then you see the hands. And the rings. With a careful glance back, you confirm it’s Hoseok, shirtless (you don’t need to check if it’s wearing anything else).

Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It’s rushing back. You quickly learned San and Wooyoung had no intention of letting you go after just happy hour. They were all convinced you were too stressed and that what you really needed was a patented WooSan (yes, they had a couple name, despite not actually being in a relationship) night of fun. You briefly considered protesting, but really, what was the point? And fuck, they weren’t wrong.

So happy hour turned into multiple stops. Wooyoung was on a karaoke mission and although you had never heard him sing, you instinctively thought drunken karaoke was never a good idea. (You were wrong, he had the voice of an angel to match his personality of the devil.) Karaoke meant meeting up with more of their friends. And somehow, because fate was cruel, one of their friends had brought along his friend Hoseok. You remember staring at him like a deer in headlights before declaring everything was fine and hitting the shots. There also may have been a lot of flirting with Wooyoung’s tall friend with the shy smile whose name you couldn’t remember.

Now, in the light of day, it was not fine. You gingerly slide out from underneath his arm and carefully get out of the bed, tiptoeing over to what you can only hope and assume is a bathroom, phone snatched off the nightstand on the way. You’re thanking drunk you for not making it harder to find.

Once you’re in the safety of the bathroom, you sink down to the floor and take a couple of breaths. You’re not sure if it’s the hangover rearing its ugly head or just the situation you’ve found yourself in.

You: Yoongi are you up? You: Please be up, I need you! You: This is important! Like one of those most important things in the world.

Yoongi isn’t answering and you’re starting to panic. You need someone to talk you through this. So you call him, knowing that it might get his attention. The first call goes to voicemail and so you try again. This time after the second ring you hear him grunt a frustrated “what?” and then hang up.

Yoongi: What the fuck? You call twice and hang up on me? You: Because I need you

Missed call from Yoongi

Yoongi: Then answer the fucking phone You: I *can’t* You: Yoongi, I fucked up, like really fucked up Yoongi: What’s going on? You: I went out drinking last night and ugh I did something really fucking stupid Yoongi: Whatever it is, it’s not that serious You: I just woke up next to Hobi… You: Like I’m in fucking university again Yoongi: … Yoongi: I’m going back to bed, you’re being dramatic You: I’m *not* this is SERIOUS Yoongi: It’s not that serious You: I’ve spent 5 years trying to get over the way he treated me, so yeah it’s a big deal Yoongi: it’s just drunken sex and I’m tired You: oh my god, give the phone to Jimin Yoongi: Just text him You: Yoongi, please

You stare at the phone and try to figure out what else to say when the screen lights up again.

Yoongi: I have a very grumpy boyfriend You: Jimin, thank god Yoongi (Jimin): what is it my little problem child? You: Just read up Yoongi (Jimin): You bitch, you went out and got drunk and didn’t invite me? You: Jimin can we focus please? Yoongi (Jimin): Who did you go out with? You: Is this really the time? Yoongi (Jimin): I’m waiting You: Fuck Jimin, just some people that are working on the show You: Now can we please talk about this colossal mistake? Yoongi (Jimin): I’ll be there to pick you up and take your hungover ass to get breakfast, which is more than you deserve since you went out WITHOUT ME You: Thank you and I will never go out without inviting you again Yoongi (Jimin): Better

You’ve taken way too long in the bathroom and you know there’s a chance Hoseok will be awake now. But you can’t bring yourself to leave the bathroom until you get the text from Jimin that he’s downstairs. Bless him for being an absolute angel, even when it’s his horns keeping the halo upright. 

Despite being a colossal pain in the ass about nearly everything in life, Jimin does actually come through and take you to one of the best meals you’ve ever had. Or maybe you’re just that hungover. You don’t really know. He’s also somehow managed to bring you a change of clothes (which, you’re not really sure if they’re actually yours or where they came from, but the outfit looks remarkably put together) and makeup so you don’t have to go all the way home. You try to ask why he’s so prepared and he only gives a vague answer about how you didn’t know him before Yoongi and smirks. You’re immediately filing that away for another day when you do remember to invite Jimin out to drink with you and whatever group you’ve been dragged into. 

When Jimin drops you off at the studio (another point to Jimin) where your car is still conveniently parked from the night before, you’re feeling and looking significantly more human. You know you owe him, he doesn’t have to say it. But he’s Park Jimin so he says it anyway and you just smile.

The auditions feel a little less tedious with a stomach full of greasy food the day after a much-needed night out (where you will be pretending that you did not fuck Hoseok again). You’re looking for some more minor characters today. If things go well and you end up doing a second season based on the second book, they could play a much bigger role. For now, though, it’s still small.

Realistically, you’re not hungry because Jimin really did hook you up. Then again, the food is there and it’s free, so you’re looking over to decide what you might actually want to try. Someone approaches the other side of the table, looking tentative. You immediately recognize him as one of the guys you pointed out as fitting the right look for one of your characters. He was sweet, kind of endearing, but with really striking features.

“Hey, I just wanted to introduce myself,” he says and you look up. “I’m Chan.”

“I remember,” you say and you’re being honest. You were insistent that he be kept around to audition.

“Wow, I didn’t think…well that’s great. I’m excited to get the chance. Thank you so much,” Chan says and you realize this might be a big deal for him.

“No problem, you just remind me of him,” you say.

“I was talking to my dance teacher before the first audition,” Chan starts and you raise an eyebrow. “Oh, I know this isn’t a dancing part, I just like to take the classes.”

“That’s fair,” you say.

“And I was really worried about the audition and how it would go,” Chan says. “But my dance teacher, he’s awesome, he said he had gone to school with you and used to be friends with you and all that and that you were really nice.”

That one statement brought you up completely short. What the fuck?

“Who’s your dance teacher?” You already know the answer because really, who else could it be? Still, you need to hear him say it.

“Oh, Jung Hoseok,” Chan says quickly and you force a smile. “Do you remember him? He gave me all this great advice about the audition and said he’d try to reach out to you if it made me feel better. He’s so nice.”

“Yeah, he was. It’s been ages since I’ve spoken to him though,” you say, hoping that you succeed in the attempt at nonchalance. 

“Yeah, he said that. I think he was just trying to help me feel better, offering to reach out,” Chan agrees. “I get it though. You’ve had so much success as a writer, so it makes sense you wouldn’t still talk to everyone from college. It’s so cool they’re turning your book into a series and you’re so young!”

“I feel like I’ve been writing for like 20 years with how much it ages me sometimes,” you say to distract yourself from thinking of Hoseok.

“I actually…read all the books when they came out, I’m a big fan,” Chan says and blushes like it’s embarrassing to admit. You think it’s sweet. One of the PAs calls out for you, though.

“Good luck today, Chan. It’s been really great speaking to you,” you say and excuse yourself.

Honestly, you can’t believe the audacity of fucking Jung Hoseok to say what he had to this poor kid. Playing it off like he knows you, making it seem like you just used to be friends. And what was he thinking, offering to reach out to you on behalf of this kid?

That’s when a truly sickening thought settles into your brain. Takes root in a way that you know you can’t shake it. One of those intrusive thoughts that shouldn’t ever exist. Was that what this all was? Is this why he reached out? Does he just want to help one of his dancers get a role in your new series? That would be seriously fucked up if that was the case. And you hate thinking he could be capable of something like that. The reality is that you used to know Hoseok, while the guy who wrecked you was a complete stranger and there’s no way of knowing which one had shown up now.

The rest of the day is kind of a wash from a concentration standpoint. You’re a million miles away and thankfully, nobody seems to call you on it. You’re not sure if it’s because they’ve worked with writers before that had their heads in the clouds or because you’re still answering all the questions asked of you. Either way, you’re not really there at all. 

Over the next day or so, you decide the best way forward is to continue ignoring Hoseok (despite him texting you multiple times wanting to talk about what happened after karaoke). Instead of talking to Hoseok, you do the completely rational thing and talk to every other person you trust. How can you decide on the next move without multiple opinions? 

You can’t.

Yoongi is first up and he’s exceptionally grumpy since you woke him up before he was ready to be a person. It may not have been that early by normal human standards, but Yoongi is only part human and part gremlin, you think, so he’s never really followed normal hours. Once he’s done being grumpy, he takes his time being thoughtful. As far as he sees it, this was just some drunken sex. It isn’t like Hoseok actually asked for anything, that you remember. And you insist you remember everything from the night.  For all you know, it was just stress relief for both of you. No point in getting worked up.

Since Jimin is there and incapable of being ignored, he also gets to weigh in. Which is welcome, actually, because Jimin can be really calculating when he wants to be. He asks a lot of questions, both about the guy you were friends with and the fight that ended it all. You’re just about ready to call this conversation a day when Jimin says he doesn’t think it sounds like something malicious. There’s only one way to know for sure, though, and he suggests that you just talk to Hoseok like an adult with multiple published books and a streaming deal. There’s Park Jimin for you.

Part of you wants to ask Namjoon, but thinks better of it. The Affair incident is fresh in your mind and you really don’t need to give him another reason to question your sanity. There are enough of those just in everyday life. And you just had to relive the entire fight with Jimin so you’re not too eager to explain all the backstory to Namjoon.

Which makes the final person you ask Jungkook. His opinion is so incredibly important to you, yet it’s the one that you’re least excited about getting. It means you also have to tell him about sleeping with Hoseok, a fact that you have carefully avoided. Not that you owe Jungkook every detail of your life, because you’re not actually in a relationship. It’s just that, sometimes, with how much you depend on each other, it feels like something more. Feels like it’s much more than just some friends-with-benefits type situation. 

In true Jungkook fashion, he takes the news in stride and doesn’t linger on you fucking this stranger that reappeared at the Gala and hasn’t seemed to go away since then. He’s thoughtful, Hoseok has come up a lot in your conversations lately, so he doesn’t have to ask questions like Jimin. And you tell him how frustrating it was to answer them, anyway. There’s no escaping it when Jungkook comes to the same conclusion, though. 

“Just talk to him,” Jungkook urges, “you’ll feel so much better being able to gauge his answer.”

“I’m really sorry,” you say and Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow at that. 

“For what?” he asks.

“Getting drunk and making a stupid fucking mistake by fucking him,” you answer, avoiding his eyes. 

“It’s really not a big deal for you and me,” Jungkook says.

“Are you sure?” you ask. You hate how small your voice sounds.

Jungkook closes the space between you and kisses the top of your head. “I’m sure. I’m here for whatever you need.”

This brings you to texting Hoseok.

And that brings you to sit down in a coffee shop with him, because apparently you can’t just text or go to each other’s apartment, like normal people. Which is nice too, actually, because it gives you a chance to see more of the city than just your apartment or the studio where you’ve been working. It allows you to people watch, see those rushing by in a haze mingled with those taking their time. Let’s your overactive imagination come up with a story for each of them. 

You still aren’t even sure if you want to forgive Hoseok for everything that happened all those years ago. And with all the writing sessions and casting calls, you haven’t exactly had a lot of time to even think, let alone talk to anyone outside of your small circle. Which isn’t totally out of character, you’ve never been one for a huge circle of friends or social engagements. It just makes everything a little more complicated now as you’re trying to sort out feelings. 

Hoseok beat you to the coffee shop this time, seemingly by a bit since he’s going to get his second cup just after you sit down. You spare a passing thought that maybe he’s nervous about talking to you. He certainly seems like he is. Weirdly it makes you less nervous. It makes you feel somehow more in control of the situation because you do know what you want to say.

“So,” Hoseok begins after he sits back down, “about the other night…”

“Actually, that isn’t exactly what I wanted to talk to you about,” you say, watching his eyes go wide.

“What?” he stutters out.

“I mean, I guess it’s kind of related? But also not,” you say. “I met Lee Chan at a casting call the other day.”

Whatever Hoseok was expecting, it’s not this. He tries to connect the dots for a moment before meeting your eyes again. “Okay? He’s a great kid, I’m glad he decided to go to the auditions after all.”

“That’s it?” You’re watching him for a reaction that just isn’t there. Maybe, despite The Fight, he’s still more or less the person you were friends with.

“I’m not sure what else to say about him,” Hoseok admits.

“Okay, cards on the table,” you say with a confidence you don’t entirely feel. “Did you show back up in my life to help your student get a part in my series?”

Hoseok chokes on his drink when the question comes out, turns into a coughing mess and takes a minute to clear his throat. “What the fuck? Is that what you think? Come on, you know me…”

“I don’t though, do I? Not anymore,” you disagree and there’s finally an emotion on his face that you can place: hurt. He’s hurt and you’re not sure how to feel about that. Your feelings about him are still so mixed up. A big part of you wants to comfort him, though. Which isn’t exactly the response you’d expected.

“Maybe I deserve that, but it still hurts,” Hoseok says. You chew your bottom lip while you think.

“It hurt to have the thought it was possible too, trust me,” you say. “But it was weird timing, you know? Chan introduced himself during his second audition, later the same day I woke up in your bed.”

“I would never sleep with you to help a student get something out of it,” Hoseok says earnestly. “I’d never sleep with you to get anything out of it.”

“I want to believe that,” you admit.

“I had no idea that you’d be there. Another guy from the studio who teaches but also takes my master classes is friends with your friends that invited you out. He asked if I wanted to come out, I wasn’t busy, so I figured why not?” Hoseok explains. “And then I wake up and you’re gone.”

“Hoseok,” you say, a quiet warning.

“Actually, I wake up and you’re sneaking out without saying anything,” he amends. 

“I needed to not be there,” you say because it’s all you can say.

“I get that, I know you’re seeing someone, but we needed to talk about it,” Hoseok says.

“Yeah, Jungkook knows,” you say and feel your heart constrict a bit at the way Hoseok pales.

“What?” Hoseok asks. When you don’t say anything, he continues. “Please tell me you’re kidding, he looks like he could kick my ass and barely break a sweat.”

“He would never,” you disagree. “My…relationship, if you wanna call it that, with Jungkook isn’t exactly what you think? Like he’s not my boyfriend, we’re not exclusive or anything like that.”

“But you let me think you were?” He doesn’t look upset, just confused if anything.

“Yeah, I know,” you say and he’s still watching you carefully. “It was just easier and honestly, I didn’t feel like I owed you an explanation for my personal life after all these years.”

“I - yeah, okay, I guess I have to respect that,” Hoseok agrees. “But we still need to talk.”

“I’m not ready,” you say immediately, try not to feel anything when he deflates. 

“I guess I just thought…since you asked to meet me,” Hoseok says, trailing off.

“I needed to know if you really just did that for a student,” you offer.

“You believe that I didn’t, right? That I wouldn’t?” Hoseok asks with so much hope that you’re not sure you can take it.

“I do, yeah,” you say. You’ve barely had time to process, but you know you do believe he wouldn’t do that. It’s about all you know when it comes to him now.

“I really do need you to know how sorry I am,” Hoseok says and you start to open your mouth, but he’s quicker. “Please, you don’t have to say anything, just let me say this? Please?”

He looks so much younger, so vulnerable for a moment. All you do is nod.

“I know sorry isn’t what you need to hear, I get that. I know that I can’t go back and change that fight and all the fucking stupid shit that I said. Stuff that I didn’t mean. And I do hear you that you’re not ready. I just want you to know that I’m so sorry,” Hoseok says.

You let out your breath. “I do know that Hobi, at least on some level.” 

“I’ve, well I’ve done a lot of thinking about that day. I talked to a lot of people, both friends and a therapist, actually. There aren’t any excuses for what I did, no matter what was going on in my head. If I’ve learned anything over the past few years, it’s definitely that. So I want to make sure you know that when you are ready, if you’re ever ready, I won’t make any excuses. What happened was entirely my fault and I completely acknowledge that,” he says, so earnestly. 

“I appreciate that,” you say because it’s all you really can think up.

This was supposed to clear your head up, which it has in some ways. You feel a little silly for even thinking that Hoseok would do something like sleep with you to help get someone he only kind of knows a role in a TV series. And you’re also questioning your friends since none of them pointed out you were having a full breakdown over a man. Not your finest moment. 

But with that one, small thing cleared up, your mind immediately goes back to the bigger issue: Hoseok has reappeared in your life and you really need to figure out how you feel about that. You’ve missed him, of course. You’re not going to deny that very obvious truth. On top of that, you also very clearly have some sort of feelings for him. After all, you’re not stupid college kids anymore. It’s not like you can pretend the sex was meaningless. 

Hoseok, showing some definite growth from your college days, accepts it when you say that you just can’t talk about all the very real things you need to right now. Accepts it when you say that you believe him but you have to go. Accepts that you’re running late for something. The only problem is that you’re not running late. It’s not like you actually planned for after your talk with him. It was too much to even think about how the conversation was going to go.

Now it’s over, though, and you don’t really want to go home to be alone with your thoughts. One of the few times that you don’t like that you live alone. Don’t like that you don’t have a built-in person that can just be there without you having to explain what you’re feeling or that you don’t want to be alone. Which is when your brain goes to Jungkook. He’s become that person that you go to when you don’t want to be alone or when you need to get out of your own head.

Except you’re not really sure that’s fair to him. Not really sure if seeing him right now is going to help you. Since the Gala, he’s been nothing but supportive and understanding. This is too much, though, isn’t it? Sure, you and he have never really wanted to bother labeling things, both just happy with the way things are. Things have naturally kind of evolved, but you haven’t stopped to talk about any of it. Sure, Jungkook always assures you that it’s fine, that he’s happy to be there whenever you need him. 

The healthiest thing to do is go home and actually try to sort out your feelings. The second healthiest thing to do would be to call Yoongi and tell him that you actually need to talk to him (which you do, desperately, need his help). 

None of the healthy options include texting Wooyoung to see if he’s got any plans that night. The healthy ways to process definitely don’t include agreeing to go out for happy hour knowing full well what that means with Wooyoung. At least this time, you invite Jimin to avoid one disaster.

(Jimin agrees to come and agrees to your terms that he’s not allowed to ask if you’re okay or if you want to talk. Agrees that he won’t tell Yoongi even if he thinks you’re making reckless decisions. He also finds a way to tell Wooyoung’s friend not to invite Hoseok this time without outing you. When you’re sober, you’ll probably thank Jimin. Maybe. There is always his ego to consider.)

“I feel like I’ve seen you around somewhere,” San muses, looking at Jimin.

Jimin just smiles his most mischievous smile and shrugs, taking a sip of his drink. “Probably.”

“Jimin is one of my best friends, he’s been by the studio a few times,” you say when it’s clear Jimin isn’t going to provide any more context. He sighs and rolls his eyes dramatically.

“I’m also dating her platonic soulmate, so she’s stuck with me,” Jimin adds and you snort.

“Is that what we’re calling Yoongi these days?” you ask. Jimin smiles a real smile, eyes crinkling. 

“Honestly, yes, your friendship with him is so sweet, it makes me sick,” Jimin says with nothing but affection. 

San seems satisfied and Wooyoung just looks enamored by anything Jimin says. Which is actually kind of cute because you can tell he’s not even interested in Jimin like that, just genuinely wants to be his friend. And you definitely get that. Jimin is one of the sweetest, most charismatic people that you know. Yes, he can be a devious little shit, but when he’s like this, it’s impossible to not like him. 

That’s just kind of how the night goes. Thankfully, it’s not quite as crazy as the last time you went out with this group. You learn the tall guy’s name is Mingi and for some reason, he seems weirdly shy around you. It’s cute and he’s incredibly sweet. Jimin fits in seamlessly, which isn’t a surprise to you with how many times you’ve seen him like this. 

What is a surprise, though, is that Jimin keeps demanding you get up and dance with him. Since, of course, happy hour turned into going someplace else. It wasn’t just Jimin that wanted to dance and now you were just along for the ride. He also insisted that you were a safe choice to dance with and also gave you a sob story about how Yoongi would never dance with him at the club. 

(Probably true, crowds and people and this kind of thing were definitely not Yoongi’s first or second or even last choice. It’s also true that Jimin is a really amazing dancer and you’re a little intimidated by him. You’re also, thankfully, just buzzed enough to not really care.)

It’s the early hours of the morning when you finally head home, feeling a lot lighter than you had after leaving Hoseok. In fact, you haven’t checked your messages since meeting up with Jimin, Wooyoung, San, and the others. There’s something freeing about just putting everything on Do Not Disturb and enjoying the moment. 

By the time you get out of the car at your apartment, the alcohol haze is already wearing off. Which ends up being a good thing when you open your door to see someone sitting on your couch. There’s a half second of panic, of your brain calculating fight or flight, before you realize that it’s just Jungkook. Sitting on your couch, watching TV like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“Jesus Christ, Jungkook,” you say, hand on your chest like you’re about to die. A little overdramatic, maybe, but your brain is still a little hazy around the edges. 

“Sorry,” he says, eyes immediately going comically wide. “I didn’t mean to scare you!” 

“No, it’s fine,” you say as you toe off your shoes and drop your keys and bag on the table by the door. 

“I really am sorry,” he says. It’s easy to believe when he looks that bashful. “I don’t even know why I came over. I just, well I texted you after I got out of my shoot to see how things went and you didn’t answer.”

“Oh yeah, I went out for drinks with Jimin and some friends from the set,” you say and Jungkook nods. 

“Yeah, he actually texted me,” Jungkook admits and you just chuckle. Of course he did, you think. “But I was already on my way over here and your apartment is more comfortable than mine. I can leave though?” 

“No, it’s fine, it’s late,” you say as you collapse on the couch with him. “One rule, though.” 

“What?” he asks.

“I don’t wanna talk about the conversation with Hobi right now,” you say quietly as you nestle into Jungkook’s side.

You miss the way that he tenses for a minute at the way the old nickname falls so easily from your lips. Miss the way it takes his arms a minute to wrap around you. Miss the way his face falls a little at you not wanting to talk to him about something. 

“Of course, whatever you need,” Jungkook says. 

You don’t hear the way his voice sounds a little hollow, a little less animated than it usually does. He wants to mean it, wants to keep being there for you however you need him. It’ll be fine, he tells himself. He can do this. 

all of them are kinda going through it right now, but please let me know your thoughts <3

[an-archaic-archivist]

The fnaf books are consistently inconsistent.

So the fnaf books are full of mistakes that a literal child picked up on a bunch of glaring mistakes that a group of paid editors working for a multi million dollar corporation didn't. I'm gonna copy and paste a bunch of stuff he pointed out to me on discord.

Epilogue 2 (Tales from the Pizzaplex) says Nick is ginger and has green eyes. Epilogue 3 says he has brown eyes and brown hair. In Bobbiedots, Abe asks Olive about manually updating and she says it is not possible. In Bobbiedots Conclusion, it’s said that Rose was the one who said that.

In The Storyteller, Edwin says he was 24 thirty years ago. And yet in “The Mimic”, he was 24 in the 70s. The math doesn't add up at all, since this would mean that The Storyteller somehow takes place anywhere from 1994 to the early 2000s. Also, Mr. Burrows is referred to as "Mr. Burton" twice in one paragraph.

In the TSE trilogy, Charlie’s year of death changed from 1982 to 1983 between books.

In Frights, in Coming Home, Samantha's age gets mixed up. In Pizza Kit, Peyton and Marlie’s names are mixed up multiple times, along with the book’s own description getting their names mixed up.

In FNaF2, the kid in SAVEHIM is called, well, HIM. And yet in FFPS, Henry refers to him as “his daughter”, Charlie.

In The New Kid, It's established that Devin and Mick have been friends for 6 years, however later in the story it's said that they've been friends for 10 years.

In The New Kid, Kelsey dies on Monday, several days pass and people start getting worried, Mick wonders if Kelsey could still be alive, to which Devin responds that its been 6 days, Friday is not 6 days after Mondays.

This is fucking pathetic.

[polyamorouspunk]

do you have any fantasy book recs that arent classics and also aren't like booktok shit?

Here’s a book tour of what’s on my shelf! I’ll go more in-depth on some of these books below as well as include books I don’t own but still fully support!

Savvy by Ingrid Law

If you know me at all you know that Savvy is my favorite book, enough that I literally named myself after it. Savvy is a great book and won many awards. There’s a 10-year edition out that you can buy now as well. Savvy is a great book as a stand-alone, but the other books in the series are pretty good too! Savvy is a great real-world fantasy coming-of-age in the most wild way possible. Basically a girl comes from a weird family who all get weird powers on their 13th birthday. Through a family tragedy, she ends up having to reveal her family’s secret to friends from church on a cross-state road trip where they meet colorful characters. Through her journey she learns what being a “teen” is like and decided to enforce boundaries for herself, which we totally support. This book is wholesome, and aimed for middle school readers who are transitioning from tweens to teens.

Pros:

Colorful characters

Just a really interesting story you’re going to find things in here you wouldn’t find in any other book. This really means the characters, and their lives. So much thought is put into these characters they’re so whacky they take on a life of their own

Very straight-forward. Since it’s a stand-alone book there’s no confusing overarching plot-line/story.

Great as a stand-alone or the rest of the series. If you like the book for what it is you can keep it to this book, but if you really like the characters and wish to see more of them, they all show up in the later books

Cons:

This is really made for a middle-school audience

There is a character who has a controversial name. She’s the main character in the third book but she’s a baby in this one. Honestly I this isn’t a con for me personally, I understand that books are the product of their time, and when I was 13 when this book came out I didn’t think there was anything wrong with her name, it’s only now as an adult that I’ve been online and seen concerns that people have raised about the name in general I understand this might be a con.

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

Who here hasn’t heard of The Maze Runner? I’m going to go through it anyway in case someone here hasn’t- and if you haven’t, then here’s my pitch: The Maze Runner, which only has a maze in some of the books but that’s okay, is a great post-apocalyptic book. If you liked The Hunger Games, you will like The Maze Runner. The Maze Runner starts in The Maze and the rest of the series details what happens outside of The Maze. I honestly can’t remember if I read the last book, I read up to The Death Cure at least. I only own the first book and that’s because I picked it up at a book sale. The last time I read this book I had My Chemical Romance’s Sleep playing, and it’s the only time I’ve ever been “scared” by a book other than reading Pet Semetary, so in terms of “scare” factor, this book is on par with Stephen King for me. As someone who really loves viral infection stories, this book has an added layer to it for me. This book borders on being horror, people die and they die horribly and I appreciate that in a teen book series.

Pros:

You can microdose on horror by reading these

These are such a classic they should be easy to find at any library

There are movies

Cons:

If you don’t like scary books maybe this isn’t for you

Your favorite character is dead

Female character isn’t the worst but some people had issue with her especially in the movies

There are movies

Battling Boy by Paul Pope

This is a graphic novel you’ve probably never heard of! I got this book advanced copy and it came with a t-shirt of the main character. This is a graphic novel about a petty god (?) boy who is supposed to take his father’s throne but his father (I think? It’s been a while) decides he’s a brat and banishes him until he learns some manners. If you like Marvel then this is a good graphic novel for you. I have literally no idea if there are more of these, I have no idea if the author has written anything else (I would assume he has), this book literally just dropped into my lap and I still have the shirt and the book and it really wasn’t bad at all.

Pros:

Graphic novel

Cons:

Pretty obscure

The Crowfield Curse by Pat Walsh

This is another book that magically fell in my lap! I’ve only read the first 2 books in this series, and the first was significantly better than the second. This book is set in Ye Old Fashioned Middle Ages times (castles, knights, stuff like that) and is a magic fantasy novel. It follows a younger boy who lives at basically a monastery and I’ll be honest I don’t remember what the plot is but he walks through the woods a lot to arrive at various destinations.

Pros:

He has the cutest little mythical creature (behind him on the cover) and it talks

He’s not the most interesting or relatable main character but he’s pretty chill

The monastery is a cool setting that I feel like isn’t visited a lot

I think there’s a cool cabin he visits too

The monsters (seen in the trees) are kind of cool

Cons:

Second book was a bit of a let-down

Aimed for middle school readers

The Tapestry by Henry H. Neff

This. Is. It. Everyone talks about wanting “good” H*rry P*tter replacements. Well here it is. The best H*rry P*tter replacement out there. I hate to diminish the series to only that, because there’s so much more to it. This book series, much like the one referenced, starts off pretty light-hearted and slowly gets darker and darker as the threat of the main villain becomes more and more real. This series has it all though. The story follows a boy who becomes a destined hero (think Percy Jackson) and his roommate who becomes a destined wizard (think H*rry P*tter) as they work together in a magic school where the teachers and staff are fighting this evil to try and overcome it.

Pros:

There is a gay ship waiting for you right there with Max (main character) and David (roommate)

David is just as important as Max in the story. David’s role is to support Max but at the same time he doesn’t take a back seat. He has his own missions and side-quests going on that the reader isn’t privy to until he tells Max about them

It’s not cannon probably but David is heavily aro/ace coded.

They. Have. Cute. Animals. Everyone at the school gets a “companion” mythical creature and Max’s is ADORABLE. You will fall in love with his little creature companion.

There’s a lot of Celtic references, so if you’re into that, this is a definite recommendation

Time-travel

Daring adventures outside the school in the “real-world” including some cool Day of the Dead stuff

Backstories on some characters/unlikely pairings that I really enjoy, as well as lore to the school

The villain is super charming. Like, Voldemort isn’t charming. He’s just a dick. This villain is charming and you almost end up liking him. Also, they don’t shy away from some dark stuff. There’s character deaths but there’s also a key body mutilation a character has to deal with (so, magical disability representation?)

Cons:

You will cry. Something happens and I’m not going to say what it is but it gets me every time and I cannot and will not forgive the author for it. You can’t just make me love something and then rip it away from me and expect me to be okay with it. Cruelty.

Indelible by Dawn Metcalf

Dawn Metcalf’s first book wasn’t anything I was really liked (but I own it!) but MAN she went OFF with this series. First of all, I just have to congratulate her on making a likable female main character. I love Joy, she’s great, she’s so relatable. Second off: polyamory rep! I love Inq, she’s such a great character, and all of her boyfriends supporting Joy as their like “sister-in-law” is wild. I love the dynamic between Joy and her dude-bro hoard. Also, I love the idea of having a human main character but the non-human main characters have the struggle of trying to decide who they are, and if they want to be human, because they don’t know who or what they are and their place in life. This series is 100% responsible for my poor dating choices because boy oh boy if you like sad emo boys this series is for you. Also I named one of my animals after the sad emo boy.

Pros:

Emo tattoo artist representation

Relatable main character. If my life got destroyed like hers did I would be pissed off too also yeah I would absolute fake-date an emo tattoo artist demon only to fall in love with him how could you not?

Literally sorry who doesn’t want to fuck a scalpel-wielding emo boy tattoo artist demon with black eyes and a sad pathetic nature but who gets murderous when anyone touches his precious human gf

The literally relationship anarchy that is Inq and her manwhore polycule also Inq’s relationship with Joy where she’s literally so fucking bisexual it’s insane

Actual good world-building

Cons:

Just that it’s more obscure so it might be harder to find

The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken

I did not finish this series, after I got the first book before it was released for public sale I did hunt down some of the other books, at least the second one. This book is a post-apocalyptic dystopian book similar to The Hunger Games (I swear not every futuristic post-apocalyptic dystopian book is similar to the hunger games) where kids are enslaved in a type of prison and kind of like The X-Men their powers are rated by how “dangerous” they are. The book follows the main protagonist as she I think escapes the school either with some other kids or meets up with some other kids. She’s labeled as one of the more “dangerous” types, it goes by color and I believe hers is orange. Her and her companions are hunted down to be returned to their prison as they go on the run. The ending made me kind of sad (I’m not good with character breakups, I am not coping well with OFMD-) but the second book resolves it a little bit? Idk, I think I only read it like once or twice. and even then I only got to the second book. It wasn’t anything to write home about, as my mom says, but if you like the kind of Magneto storyline of him being in a… well, you know what I’m talking about… and you like the idea of that not being so real and having real-world events tied to them but the idea of a fictional prison that basically houses “mutants” who are dangerous, and you like YA romance, this book might be something you’d be interested in.

Pros:

Nice character dynamic with older girl and her younger girl companion

The special powers/post-apocalyptic type story honestly doesn’t really get old to me, even if the books themselves are mediocre

Hell yeah fuck the government

Cons:

If you don’t like that sweet, sweet YA romance taking up a good chunk of your stories this might not be the book series for you

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

I read this series so much as a kid it’s insane. I own most of the books up to book 9, and I’ve read them all up to that. I’ve probably read this book at least 5 times. It never gets old. The series follows a girl who get dragged into the magical underground scene of London with a sarcastic talking skeleton detective. As the books go on you get the sense things are coming to a head, and a bigger, evil prophecy lurks over the adventures of each book, kind of like Percy Jackson.

Pros:

This series is hilarious. I’ve never read a series that’s as funny as this one. Every character is sarcastic and a twat in one way or another.

Valkyrie can be annoying, but you get the feeling that it’s because she’s growing up. She’s an amazing character overall, so even when she makes decisions that I, the reader, disagree with, I feel like it’s because she’s coming into her own person, and that I was that annoying at that age too.

There’s a LOT of these, and they are MASSIVE books. There’s not a lack of content here.

The relationship between Skulduggery and Valkyrie is written really well.

I wanted to be in this universe so badly growing up I wanted to be just like Tanith and Valkyrie and Skulduggery. They were formative characters for me who I aspired to be.

Cons:

I’m sorry. There’s a love triangle between the bad-boy sexy vampire and the polite and goofy fun-loving wholesome boy.

The books start to go off the rails in my opinion after book like 7ish. After book like 5 or 6 I feel like 7 is okay but not as good and then they go downhill from there. There’s more than the 9 I’ve read out, but I stopped reading after about book 9 just from growing out of reading/also feeling like they were going off the rails/I had to hunt down all these books and I own 7 of them which is a LOT especially when you’re like 15 and don’t have a job.

The queer rep is thrown in like book 7 or 8 and it’s literally like 1 sentence and it feels so shoehorned in and it’s like I could have lived perfectly fine with this character being straight like that would have been fine really you didn’t have to make her pansexual after the fact.

Stephanie being 12 when the book series started makes it hard for me to relate now that I’m 24 because I started reading it when I was probably like 11/12 and her growing up and doing more adult things was at times unrelatable to me as a kid (but I wanted to be her!!!) and now that I’m an adult it’s like oh wow she was a child and so was I and then she was “an adult” (15,16,17,18) but now I’m an adult and she’s still a child (15,16,17,18).

Septimus Heap by Angie Sage

If you like steampunk this book series is for you! It’s set in high fantasy, the time period is I guess kind of mideval? I mean they sleep on straw beds and have horse-drawn carriages so it’s certainly not like London circa 1920s or something. This book has trolls and dragons and all that magic shit. This book is cool if you like alchemy as well.

Pros:

This series only has 7 books because 7 is the important number in the series, meaning it didn’t have time to get bad. The books remain consistently decent.

The dragons and alchemy and all that stuff is cool!

Contains a friend group which is pretty neat. Some of them are probably autistic coded.

Did I mention the dragons

The town and cabin in the marshlands are cool fantasy settings, along with other locations in the story.

Cons:

I don’t really understand why some characters have names like Septimus and Beetle and other characters have names like Jenna and Marcia (also how to pronounce “Marcia” was a debate in my household for years and is probably the only thing I agreed with my dad on ever).

Jenna turned into a little bitch. I think she redeemed herself, and I support her joining a coven of witches, but she was just a dick for no reason and Beetle deserved better.

Legend by Marie Lu

This book series is so good, it’s a great little trilogy. The post-apocalyptic city-type setting is cool, it’s kind of starting to hit a little too close to home these days but 😅 the fact this is another book that deals with a mysterious virus and a shitty sketchy government is great and Day is the best character ever.

Pros:

Day. Best character ever.

Cool characters in The Resitance™️

Detailed. Very descriptive. Very easy to picture the characters and their outfits and the locations they’re in.

Dialect! The dialect in this book is amazing! Regional dialect among the poor vs the rich is a great concept to include. I used to say “cuz” way too much as a kid because I wanted to be like Day. Transgender moment.

A neat little triology. Not enough to go off the rails.

Cons:

Not one but two love triangles. Both are bad.

June? Sucks ass. My friends and I used to yell about how much we hated June.

The story that Day supposedly murdered Micah and June just refuses to believe him when he tells her he didn’t seems… unrealistic. Like idk maybe it’s me when I say “man if someone told me they had magic powers I would believe them instantly” or whatever but like her going back and forth on whether or not she believes him seems so wishy-washy. I get that the idea is she was raised in a cult and she is trying to break free of that cult and see the lies they told her (kind of like She-Ra?) but I feel like Adora picks up on that “oh my god I’ve been lied to this whole time! You ARE the good guys! A lot quicker than June. June drags her feet and it makes it annoying as a reader.

Also the revelation that Micah is [redacted] and June’s like I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me 😭 like yeah girl you’re in a cult I probably wouldn’t have told you either. Sorry.

[frogtanii]

hq boys as the crimes they’d commit

warnings: CRIMES, crackfic, probably many typos idk i’m so tired lmaooo, cursing, drinking ??? idfk 😩💦

an: and i did this for what?? inspired by hq hcs royalty @sugardaddykenma @hina-wit-da-glock (AJSKSJ SORRY FOR TAGGING Y’ALL IF YOU SEE THIS, IT IS DEF NOT UP TO PAR W Y’ALLS WORKS ILY)

karasuno

sawamura daichi- insurance fraud!! somehow this is such a dad crime to commit?? dadchi didn’t try (dumb excuse, how do you accidentally commit insurance fraud smh) to commit insurance fraud but at one point in his late-thirties, he was very very broke and was already working as much as possible so, he decided to fake an ankle injury, as you do, and filed a bunch of claims which made him bank. daichi kept doing it until he was able to quit one of his jobs and buy himself a really nice suit and a rolex (uhhh 🥵). he somehow never got caught tho and to this day, none of his friends know how he was able to afford a tesla on a cop’s salary (sorry daichi but acab 😔✨)

sugawara kōshi- child abandonment!! ok you can try and fight me on this but i feel in my bones that suga absolutely despises children. he can tolerate ages 10+ but anything younger than that, he will punt them into the next dimension. the thing is, people just assume he likes kids because of how good he is with his team which is why his aunt begged him to babysit his nephew taro. taro was being an absolute brat when suga took him out for the day and he was 👉👈 this close to snapping. he put taro down for like 3 seconds to pay for their ice cream and when he turned back, the demon spawn was gone. he panicked, running around the park looking for taro when it turns out, taro was just bent down behind the bench. some random karen called the police and suga has never craved murder more.

nishinoya yuu- arson!! you CANNOT tell me nishinoya doesn’t have a ~murder~ playlist that he listens to to get himself hype (me too noya, me too). one night, he got a lil too hype listening to start a riot by duckwrth and watching demolition videos on youtube. he snuck out of his house to an empty shed like 30 minutes away and maybe... lit it on fire while genocide by lil darkie played on a speaker nearby. what he did NOT anticipate was the absolute size of the fire so he freaked out and called the firefighters who promptly called the police. he didn’t want to get grounded so he called daichi to bail him out. daichi still told noya’s parents 😔.

tanaka ryūnosuke- vandalism!! tanaka had been on alt tiktok and saw a group of cool friends spray painting an abandoned building. he thought “that’s cool, lemme do that!” but then he realized he had no friends (AHDGS JK I LOVE TANAKA). he asked nishinoya who was grounded from the arson incident and he knew he definitely couldn’t ask daichi, suga, asahi, or enoshita so he decided to go it alone. that proved to be a MASSIVE mistake. he got the supplies, arrived to the building of his choice (thanks saeko :3), and decided to spray paint a huge p3ni5 in bright red paint. he finished “successfully” and zoomed back home. what he didn’t realize with his two-and-a-half braincells is that he signed his glorious piece with his full name. the cops were at his house the next morning...🧍

hinata shoyō- forgery!! hinata did NOT think that forgery was even a crime. how was he supposed to know that he wasn’t allowed to copy his mom’s signature on a permission form! all he wanted was to go to an overnight training camp 😿

kageyama tobio- attempted murder!! kageyama swears it sounds worse than was and he is absolutely incorrect. what happened was so much worse. he and hinata were having a competition to see who could hold their breath the longest underwater (you can’t tell me they haven’t done some dumbass shit like this) and kageyma lost almost instantly (he has the tiny lungs of an asthmatic). he didn’t want hinata to notice so he held hinata’s head under the water for like 10 seconds. suga walked in though, saw hinata thrashing around in the water and immediately called the police. kageyama never forgave him.

tsukishima kei- cyberbullying!! first of all, i had no idea you could get arrested for cyber bullying!? that being said, neither did tsukishima who spent 80% of his time making fun of people online (and on his real account!! bold). eventually one of the people he bullied (hinata) reported him on instagram and his very lame account was deleted (pls don’t bully people online 😤).

yamaguchi tadashi- shoplifting!! andjksh this is so funny because this scenario has happened to me and i can just SEE this happening to poor tadashi. yamaguchi gets super late night cravings (and usually tsukki will walk with him at like 3 am 🥺 nEWAYS) so he’ll sneak out and walk to the mini-mart near his house. one night, he was so tired but also super hungry so he went onto his nightly routine and basically sleepwalked into the store. he picked out his favorite chips and candy bar (which are sour cream&onion lays and milky ways in case you were wondering 😌✨) and just... walked out the store without paying. the store clerk was mysteriously missing so yamaguchi made it all the way home, ate half the bag of chips and passed out without realizing what he’d done. once he did, he cried for 2 hours straight.

nekoma

kuroo tetsurō- telemarketing fraud!! kuroo originally did telemarketing fraud as a joke?? like he was trying to prank call someone pretending that they had lost their information and they actually gave it to him??? he was mildly concerned but even more excited. he did it over and over again but he never used the info for anything. to this day, kuroo literally has a notebook full of credit card numbers and bank account passwords but he refuses to use it because he believes it’s ✨wrong✨(but it isn’t wrong to take all that information in the first place under false pretenses, not realizing that once people find out, they are forced to close credit cards and accounts but go off self righteous king). once he brought the book up to kenma and he offered to sell it on the dark web. now kuroo feels less bad about what he’s done! :D

kozume kenma- computer crime!! pfttt this one seems kinda obvious but what do you expect from kenma :). he spends so much time on the internet, he’s definitely picked up some less than legal skills that still help him now 👀. kenma did little mini crimes like getting into other people’s wifi but his crowning achievement was when he hacked into the minneapolis pd website and had it so when you opened the page, a black lives matter screen came up. he never told anyone that it was him who did it but he thinks it’s the best he’s ever done.

yaku morisuke- racketeering!! yaku, the feral king, ran an underground gambling ring in the basement of nekoma (do they have basements?? who knows! i don’t!) during his third year. the only reason it didn’t get shut down was because coach nekomata took a portion of yaku’s profits whenever he won (which was literally all the time). everyone on the team has lost money to him which is why they never play with him anymore. they won’t even let yaku play monopoly 😔.

haiba lev- indecent exposure!! poor lev’s head is so empty, he tends to fall for whatever pranks his senpai’s do to him. this time kuroo had somehow convinced him that in order to grow his schlong, he had to run outside naked for 10 minutes because the moonlight had special growing properties. lev was a lil scared ngl because he was already superrr tall and didn’t need to grow his height (or his dick ((boy is hung)) but poor lev is insecure) but he did it anyway. long story short, an old woman saw him parading around the neighborhood naked and called el policia. 0/10 dick did NOT grow and had to spend a night in jail naked 😿

aoba johsai

oikawa tōru- prostitution!! KAKKAKA iwazumi made fun of oikawa for being so shitty and said that he couldn’t pick up anyone if he tried. flattykawa took this as a personal challenge and went out onto the street, asking people if they’d have sex with him. with the way he was asking (and the way he was dressed), people assumed he was a paid w h o r e and someone eventually reported him. iwazumi had to pick oikawa up from the station- he never let him live this one down.

iwaizumi hajime- battery!! it wasn’t technically battery but oikawa is a lil bitch and overreacts (at least in his words -_-). the amount of times iwa-chan has beat the absolute shit out of oikawa is uNREAL. he just can’t handle the stupidity sometimes so he just smacks the crap outta him. not for real for real but the way oikawa reacts, you’d think a murder was occurring. one time, shittykawa screeched so loud, they got a noise complaint -_- hajime hates it in these streets.

matsukawa issei & hanamaki takahiro- conspiracy!! issei and hiro have a secret blog where they discuss conspiracy theories and such but one day, hiro found an article that explained how jfk’s death was an inside job. he sent it to issei who began to theorize how HE’D do it. that devolved into a massive thread on their blog of how’d they murder a president which blew up and caught the attention of the cia who sent the a letter telling them to quietly delete the blog. they did because they were terrified but they kept the letter and now it’s framed in issei’s apartment.

kyōtani kentarō- assault!! baby is an angry little boy but for all the right reasons. he was at a bar (when he’s all grown up, duh) and he spotted an absolute drunk creep hitting on a girl who clearlyyyy did not reciprocate his feelings. kyōtani, being the respectful king that he is, went over to the guy, pulled him by the jacket and beat. the. shit. out of him. while the bartender was happy with the fact that the creep was out, he was not impressed with the damage to his bar. he just sent kyōtani out who casually adjusted his leather jacket and rings, and hopped on his motorcycle to ride away into the night. i am the FATTEST simp for this man ONG 🥴

shiratorizawa

ushijima wakatoshi- stalking!! poor ushijima has no idea how intimidating he can be. he was on a train late at night after practice and the woman sitting across from him left her purse sitting on the seat. being the gentleman that he is, he took the purse and followed her to return it. the only problem is that the closer he got, the faster she ran and when he tried to speak (yknow with his scary, deep, baritone voice), the woman screeched and called the cops on him because he was a “strange, big man who was following her home.” when the police showed up, ushijima was painfully confused and just held up this tiny ass purse in his massive hands. the cops laughed.

tendō satori- ???!! no one knows what crimes (or how many 😳) tendō has committed but each of his teammates have different ideas- ushijima: “i don’t believe tendou is capable of committing any sort of felony. well, maybe murder”; semi: “of COURSE he’s capable of crimes??! do you know how many times i’ve seen him come into the dorm with a suspicious stain of red on his sweater?? *shudders* if i end up dead, tendō did it...” in actuality, the only crime tendō has committed is ~drugs~ but he’s not bouta tell his friends that.

goshiki tsutomu- would be a VICTIM!! my baby tsutomu would NEVER commit a crime!!! i love this man with my everything and the only crime he’s committed is being too damn cute 😤🥺

[xanderwithanx]

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.

[thehereticaldeserthermit]

𝕆𝕦𝕥 𝕆𝕗 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣 ℚ𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤

ROLE PLAYER GET TO KNOW YOU PROMPT

Alright TDC Community It’s time for a task, 

and this time we’re all going to get to know each other a little better. 

Under the cut, you’ll find forty out of character questions split into two parts: OOC about your muses, and OOC about yourself! Answer what you’d like, add more if you’d like.

When you’re done TAG some of your writing partners and keep FUN going. 

-there is no pressure to participate

-IF You Are Reading This And You’d Like To Participate Consider Yourself Tagged My Friend! 

Much Love,

TheJesseWhoLurks

I tag @lyr-taxidermist  @theghostofharar  @hurdygurdyskeksis  @urskekyagvi  @skekmal-the-hunter  @skekso-the-emperor  @gourdplayer   @hedonistschambers  @ulvanmaudra  @littlebluezoologist @the-wandering-urru  @queenofthetides  @juliejewel24 @thecastleurru

OOC About  Your Character(s)

1.     What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)?

The reason I wanted to write for Gra was to meet fellow fans that loved the world of TDC as much as I do, I wanted to find fellow writers. I wanted to steep myself in the fandom. You can easily consider me skeKSis obsessed but I am growing a fondness for their counterparts -slowly ❤

2.     Describe your character(s) with three words.

Passionate | Erratic | Trustworthy

3.     What made you decide to write this muse?

Originally I was going to pick up The Ritual Master, he’d been my OG fav from the movie BUT Gra kept ... poking me with his scepter? Like; I live in the desert, you live in the desert, Ima recluse, you’re a recluse =we are simpatico. I think The Heretic picked me because he simply would not leave my mind when I considered him as a possibility. 

4.     If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

Canon. I mean they left us kinda hanging there. We really do not know what happened do we? They are simply, just not there anymore. I do not want them to perish, I want them to make it to the finish line and become urSkek. It breaks my heart to think they did not make it.

5.     If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

I would not say anything, just hug him REALLY tightly and probably not let go until he gives me a chitter-laugh.

6.     If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them?

I would like to give them...ME. 

7.     If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away?

I do not want to take a positive thing from the fibers that make up Gra. I feel they are very interwoven in his tale. Removing one would make another untether. If I could take away or diminish a bad trait Id have him not be so stubborn and or impatient but then again he would not be Gra now would he?  

8.     If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?

His determination, passion. Damn son. You get things done. 

9.     Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

Yes. He’s gotten his ass handed to him, I think he might be owed a slice of peace and happiness.  What makes him most happy? He’s already showed me; his relationships whether its friendship, extended family or a lover those are treasures he holds near and dear to his heart.  

10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most?

Usually I prefer to plot out angst rather then let it completely run a-muck because you never know what your partner is comfortable with, what might trigger them in a detrimental way and simply set fire to a plot unintentionally. 

I already know; it literally is ... break his heart. 

11. What do you love about your muse?

His dynamic energy, the wild fire, the mystical chaos, the creativity is off the charts. His sharp distinguished features, the way he looks shamanistically feral as compared to his brethren and their Garthic garb. His use of the color red. His scratchy rasp of a voice. His laugh. 

12. What do you hate about your muse?

He is a high maintenance muse, he is demanding and screeches loudly for what he wants. 

13. What about your muse amuses you?

The fact that he is a skeKSis. This brings a whole slew of challenges to the table for a writer. Case in point, I was writing a reply one day and I went to put something in along the lines of ‘he arched his brow and blah blah’ THEN he hit me! He has no eyebrows to arch, ahhh! I have to stop and think about how to write out expressive traits or reactions that are not of the usual human reaction tone.

14. What about your muse makes you sad? 

How fragile his heart really is after all the shit he’s endeared. 

15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time?

Get Ready For A Wild SURPRISE!

16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life?

Yes, I like creative souls. I cherish them. 

17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you?

I do not think I am or he is better than the other. 

But I will say he is a handsome devil, for a skeKSis. 

18. Why do you think you connect to your muse?

Creative. Outcast. 

19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

His passion and drive. I’d say its the same answer for us both. All of the accomplishments he tackled probably had their stacks of obstacles with each to-do. You’d have to have an unending supply of passion and drive to keep going, to complete all. He really is a work-a-holic and a busy body skek.

20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed?

Not yet but I am sure he will, creative liberties will be taken since I only have a a episode or two to work with -am I right? 

About You!

1.     What is your name? 

Jesse. 

2.     What is your profession?

secret shit. 

3.     What do you do to relax?

I write. Play video games. Naps are divine. Hot coffee and watch YT videos. DOodle. Desert combing walks. Long hot baths. Organize things xD

4.     What is your favorite treat (desert)?

All kinds, I’m not picky. I love me some chocolate lately. 

5.     Favorite movie

Too many to list. Its October right now. All I want is Hocus Pocus, some Harry Potter and Practical Magick at the moment. Tis the season. 

6.     Favorite book

I do not think I have a favorite. BUT I will admit that I have a copy of The Dark Crystal that I STOLE FROM A LIBRARY YEARS AGO! I have kept it all this time, its falling apart and its aged with beauty and I adore it  ❤ I also have a Jim Henson book about puppetry and his works, there is a page from TDC and if my memory serves me right it has the concept art of skekGra in it sooo sooo I was looking at skekGra YEARS AGO AND HAD NO CLUE the conjunction that would line up in the future! I really neeed to go find this book but its in a storage shed that will be a fresh hell to get to =[ *

7.     Favorite vacation spot

Anywhere where its either very green and or by some body of water. Ocean, river, lake. Yes, good. -not very many humans around save for present company reading thiiiis. 

8.     Favorite Disney movie

Are you kidding me? Too many to list, although I will say The Sword In The Stone did play a part in Gra’s Crystal Skimmer named Archimedes after the grouchy old owl. 

9.     How did you first get into role playing?

Years ago. I started writing on face book. I wrote for a pirate believe it or not, he was my first muse and he holds special place in my black heart and probably always will. But I am disinclined to acquiesce the gift of further details about this scurvy cursed muse, Ha!

10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr?

It was face book, before they got all crazy about accounts and security. I moved over to tumblr because writers were incredibly rude and rapid fire RP-ers. One liner sentences and I’m like NOPE I need a novel length. 

11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

Sometimes I have a touch of dyslexia, sometimes I typo, sometimes I am too tired to proof read, sometimes I make blunders. But I tend to focus on my mistakes rather then other peoples. I just go with the flow, I just write no matter what their level of ‘proper grammar’ IS because I’d like to think that maybe they are just starting out, maybe they will fall in love with writing and maybe they will be the next author who creates a world we all fall in love with and want to immerse ourselves in.  

12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

I do not RP in other languages. However I did have a muse at one time who was French, I would throw in little phrases but it was never entirely done in French and I do have a British muse at the moment, so again I will use slang and little sayings to make them well rounded as best as I can. Those are just little details I like to include that many others might skip on but I thrive for deets. 

I do however have role play writing partners that are from ALL over the world which is amazing to me. 

13. Do you listen to music while your write?

ALOT. I have tracks specifically for skekGra, that take me to his frame of mind. Even TDC soundtrack at times, the puppet show song and the blue flame part 2 are on replay a lot. 

14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

I am all over the place. My life is very hectic. I’d like to say its usually in the afternoon of evening for me, the house is settled down and things are silent but thats not always how it works out. Oftentimes I will sit down and write a reply or two, then dip to do mundane human things that adults do, then return back for a few more replies. 

15. How does tiredness affect your writing?

Kills it. The weekends I work long hours therefor my brain is like WHAAAT. 

16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

It is always TIME. Sometimes stress levels can be an obstacle too, no lie. If something major is going on, I just throw my hands up like ‘I got nothin’’ and thats that.

17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

Oh damn. Been there done that. I am much more picky about it nowadays. I try to limit skekGra to a certain number of replies because he also has to allow room for other muses. 

Currently: Gra has ten replies on tumblr -no actually 11 &&& 4 on discord. I am two shakes away from cutting HIM OFF! lol. 

18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand?

I’m open to different characters, I have written with a lot. I love a writer who has style, I appreciate the effort.  

Etiquette, manners and consideration are oftentimes LACKING as of late. 

19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?

ANYTHING as long as it is not anon HATE. 

20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?

T I M E not having enough time to write the angst fluff and dialogue, smut too lets be real. It really is a bummer to me when I  do not have the time, I work, I have a a lotta responsibilities, my life is like a hurricane a lot of the time so TIME is my weakness, oftentimes I am super J E L L O of people who are online all day, every day, always there I’m envious and I get writers FOMO which makes me laugh but its so damn true I could ugly laugh cry about it. 

[adeliaharris]

My Favorite Books...

1. Harper Lee "To kill a Mockingbird"

The story of a small sleepy town in the South of America told by a little girl. The story of her brother Jim, dill's friend and her father - the honest principled lawyer Atticus Finch one of the last and best representatives of the old "southern aristocracy". The story of the trial of a black guy accused of rape a white girl. But first of all it is the story of a turning era when xenophobia, racism, intolerance and bigotry inherent in the American South are warming to the past. The "wind of change" has just begun to blow over America. What will it bring?

- This is probably one of my favorite books.The book captured from the very first pages and did not let go for a long time after reading. You can say a lot of things but better read it.

2. Khaled Hosseini "The Kite Runner"

A heartfelt story of friendship and fidelity, betrayal and redemption, penetrating to the very core. Delicate, ironic and sentimental in a good way, Khaled Hosseini's novel resembles a painting that can be looked at endlessly set in pre-war Kabul in the 1970s. In this magical city shimmering with all shades of gold and azure two weather boys Amir and Hasan live. One belonged to the local aristocracy the other to a despised minority. One's father was handsome and important the other was lame and pathetic. Master and servant, prince and beggar, handsome and crippled. But there were no people in the world closer than these two boys. Soon the Kabul idyll will be replaced by formidable storms. And the boys, like two kites, will be picked up by this storm and scattered in different directions. Each has its own destiny its own tragedy but they like in childhood are tied by the strongest bonds. You run after the kite and the wind as you run after your destiny, trying to catch it. But she will catch you.

- Psychological novel on the theme of "crime and punishment". Deeply elaborated images, convincing children's characters, a remarkably built plot - everything speaks of a great master. For me it is "heavy" literature but it has the right to be because it calls things by their proper names. And most importantly there is light in the stories of Hosseini! The light of true human feelings.

3. F. Scott Fitzgerald "The Great Gatsby"

A jubilant, sparkling thirst for life, a desire for love, alluring and elusive, exciting pursuit of wealth - but now the dream breaks to the sound of jazz and the eternal holiday turns into a tragedy. "The Great Gatsby" is a novel about "how illusions are wasted which make the world so colorful that  having experienced this magic, a person becomes indifferent to the concept of true and false." F. S. Fitzgerald

- I read it and was not at all disappointed! Elegant presentation with high meaning - everything in this life is done for the sake of love. And no amount of money can replace the woman you love... And even if she is stupid, frivolous and idly living her life. I have great respect for Gatsby and contempt for Daisy. There are a lot of wonderful quotes, phrases in the book, it's worth thinking about. I didn’t expect to literally fall in love with this piece! In the future I will definitely re-read it more than once!

4. Daniel Keyes "Flowers for Algernon"

Forty years ago it was considered a fantasy. Forty years ago it read like fantasy. Exploring and expanding the boundaries of the genre eagerly absorbing all sorts of newest trends trying on a common human face bravely ignoring the Cain's stamp of the "genre ghetto". Now it is perceived as one of the most humane works of modern times as a novel of piercing psychological power, as a filigree development of the theme of love and responsibility. It is not for nothing that Keyes called his book of memoirs published in the 1990s "Algernon, Charlie and Me."

- The book is an emotion that will not make you think about something particularly difficult. All the thoughts that it generates are very simple and understandable. Without revelations, of course, but not bad either. The assessment will, rather, depend on the degree of personal sensitivity because the author often uses the concept of "naive hero-evil reality-collision-squeezing out sympathy" during the work.

5. Agatha Christie  "Murder on the Orient Express"

The great detective Hercule Poirot who was in Istanbul returns to England on the famous "Orient Express" in which it seems, representatives of all possible nationalities travel with him. One of the passengers an unpleasant American named Ratchett offers Poirot to become his bodyguard since he believes that he could be killed. The famous Belgian brushes off this absurd request. And the next day the American is found dead in his compartment with the doors closed and the window open. Poirot immediately takes up the investigation - and finds out that the compartment is full of all sorts of evidence pointing... to almost all the passengers of the Orient Express. In addition the train gets stuck in snow drifts in a deserted place. Poirot needs to find the killer before the express can continue on its way...

- I liked the book. Pretty easy to read. The plot is "confused" from the very beginning but Mr. Poirot is yet  a world-famous detective. It is better to read about all the twists and turns of the investigation on your own, "immersion" is guaranteed.

6. Stieg Larsson "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo"

Forty years of the mystery of the disappearance of a young relative haunts the aging industrial tycoon and now he makes the last attempt in his life - entrusts his search to journalist Mikael Blomkvist. He takes on a hopeless business more in order to distract himself from his own troubles but soon realizes: the problem is even more complicated than it seems at first glance.

What is the connection between a long-standing incident on the territory with the use of mobile devices which happened in different years in different parts of Sweden? What does the quotation from the Third Book of Moses have to do with it? And who, after all, attempted on the life of Michael himself when he came too close to the solution?

- The whole trilogy left a deep impression. Such books appear very rarely. Out-of-the-box characters, amazing Sweden, dark atmosphere. I advise absolutely everyone!

7. Ray Bradbury "Fahrenheit 451"

Perhaps the best of Bradbury's writings. The story "Fahrenheit 451" depicts a dystopian society of the future but in fact - "our reality, reduced to absurdity." Bradbury invented a state where reading and keeping books is prohibited. For the sake of political correctness and general peace of mind the general level of spiritual and intellectual demands of citizens is artificially lowered. But there are rebels and fugitives.

This is one of Bradbury's rare sci-fi works. Very exciting touching and at the same time very lively and dynamic. With a relatively simple plot, it is full of allusions including biblical texts and complex symbolism.

- This is just a great book! I advise everyone to read it! Despite the fact that the author wrote it in 1953 this does not feel at all. A very interesting and poignant plot for our time.

8. Victor Hugo "Les Miserables"

All the works of the great French poet, novelist and playwright Victor Marie Hugo (1802-1885) are covered with a halo of romanticism. The idea of ​​life-giving love, mercy, the triumph of good over evil - this is the core of his novel "Les Miserables". Among the "outcasts" are Jean Valjean sentenced to 20 years for stealing bread for his starving family and the little dirty Cosette who turned into a charming girl and a child of the Parisian streets of Gavroche...

- Brilliant work! So thoughtful, so overwhelming and so humane. The inimitable Hugo put all his philanthropy into this magnificent novel!

9. Stephen King "The Green Mile"

Stephen King invites readers to the eerie world of the death row where they leave in order not to return, opens the door of the last refuge of those who have transgressed not only human but also God's law. There is no more deadly place on this side of the electric chair! Nothing you've read before beats Stephen King's most audacious horror experience - a story that begins on Death Road and goes deep into the deepest secrets of the human soul...

- I have been familiar with the work of S. King for a long time and have read more than a dozen of his books. The work "The Green Mile" is a story that will not let you go for a long time. She leaves a residue in her soul - mixed feelings and indescribable impressions from the story itself, unique and ingenious.

10. Gregory David Roberts "Shantaram"

This art-refracted confession of a man who managed to get out of the abyss and survive, has sold four million copies around the world and has earned rave comparisons with the works of the best writers of the modern era from Melville to Hemingway. Like the author the hero of this novel has been hiding from the law for many years. Deprived of parental rights after a divorce from his wife, he became addicted to drugs, committed a number of robberies and was sentenced by an Australian court to nineteen years in prison. Having escaped from a maximum security prison in his second year, he reached Bombay where he was a counterfeiter and smuggler, traded arms and participated in the showdown of the Indian mafia and also found his true love, to lose it again, to find it again...

- It is very difficult to somehow categorically evaluate this novel. There are many advantages here: a fascinating story of the wanderings of the protagonist in the world of a harsh exotic country. Together with him, the reader develops, absorbs the alien culture and energy of other people, people of another world to which we are not used to. However there is something ridiculous about this.  At times it seems that we are watching real Indian cinema - the brainchild of Bollywood naive and merciless. In general I liked the novel, it is interesting, bright, impetuous. During the period of reading this great story, I have never been bored. Despite some controversial points - I advise!

[spirit-science-blog]

Money is like love; it kills slowly and painfully, the one who withholds it, and enlivens the other who turns it on his fellow man. - Khalil Gibran

Do you struggle with money? Are you ready to transform your entire life? At last, it’s time to explore how you can create your spiritual money right now. Let’s waste no time and dive in!

You might already be familiar with this material, but for those who aren’t, allow me a moment to introduce you to two men and their legendary book. Napoleon Hill, Andrew Carnegie, and the book Think and Grow Rich.

This book is truly the ultimate spiritual success manual, having sold over 100 million copies, and helped to create more millionaires in the world than you can count! This book came about in 1937 when a man named Andrew Carnegie commissioned a young Napoleon Hill to write a book about how he became the wealthiest person of his generation, the world's first billionaire by today's standards. In essence, I mean technically he wasn’t a billionaire, but with the inflation of the dollar, today he would be several times over.

Just to get this out of the way - I feel it’s important to note that those who read it will probably notice a bit of sexual bias in the language used. The book was intended for men when it was published in 1937. That said - the principles that they explore are relative to anyone who is on the journey of wealth transformation. While I don’t support the sexist attitude, the core information is valuable to explore.

This book documents the ultimate success philosophy and formula for anyone who is seeking to generate wealth in the way of thinking that mirrors the understanding of the ancient Greek mystery schools. I’m not even joking - This book teaches how to create wealth in your life by being psychic! Allow me a moment to share a few key passages to show you what I’m referring to.

Indeed, “thoughts are things,” and powerful things at that, when they are mixed with definiteness of purpose, persistence, and a burning desire for their translation into riches, or other material objects.”

“More than 40 years ago, the author, working in conjunction with the late Dr. Alexander Graham Bell and Dr. Elmer R. Gates, observed that every human brain is both a broadcasting and receiving station for the vibration of thought. In a fashion similar to that employed by the radio broadcasting principle, every human brain is capable of picking up vibrations of thought which are being released by other brains.”

Now - returning to the main idea here - when you begin to think and grow rich, you will observe that riches begin with a state of mind, with definiteness of purpose. The author reminds us that our state of mind is of the utmost importance - success comes to those who become success conscious. Failure comes to those who indifferently allow themselves to become failure conscious.

He concludes the introductory chapter by informing us that if we can learn to follow the 13 principles of thinking and growing rich, literally anyone can lead a wealthy and prosperous life. Going over the principles takes up the majority of this book - but allow me a moment to run through them with you.

Principle 1 - Desire. We must have a healthy desire for what it is that we want. This is akin to being able to consciously focus on the thing that you want to create - for what we think and feel actively creates our reality. If we choose to just “get what life gives us,” then yes, we’re not going to end up with much. We have to be clear about what we want and be willing to go after it!

Principle 2 - Faith. Quoting directly from the book - “Faith is the head chemist of the mind. When faith is blended with thought, the subconscious mind instantly picks up the vibration, translates it into its spiritual equivalent, and transmits it to infinite intelligence, as in the case of prayer.”

Principle 3 - Autosuggestion - a term which essentially means self-suggestion, the agency of communication between the conscious and subconscious minds. This is your ability to program your subconscious mind by making sure to feed it creative and healthy thoughts, instead of destructive ones.

Principle 4 - Specialized knowledge. There are two kinds of experience, General and Specialized. General knowledge is the kind of stuff you learn in school - random bits of history and math and literature that, by itself, is not suitable for much. Specialized knowledge, on the other hand, is the knowledge that is organized and intelligently directed towards the fulfillment of your dreams.

Principle 5 is Imagination - what they describe to be the workshop wherein all impulses, dreams, and desires are given shape, form, and action. There are two forms to our imagination, the synthetic vision, which arranges old concepts, ideas, or plans into new combinations, which doesn’t create anything new - and the creative imagination, which is the mind-opening bridge to the infinite intelligence that allows you to conceive of entirely new concepts, the faculty through which hunches and inspirations are achieved.

Principle 6, 7, and 8 all go together - they are Organized Planning, Decision, and Persistence. This is the practical ability to form definite, concrete plans of action, making decisions on them, and executing them consistently and persistently until you begin to see results. Also - procrastination is the killer of dreams, so while you might be worried that “oh what if I don’t make the right decision” - any decision is better than sitting there and doing nothing. You continually refine and improve as you go.

Speaking to persistence, they explain that one of the most common causes of failure is the habit of quitting when one is overtaken by temporary defeat. Every person is guilty of this mistake at one time or another. Before success comes in one's life, they are sure to meet with much temporary defeat, and perhaps, some failure. When defeat overtakes a person, the most natural and most logical thing to do is quit, and that is what most do. However - failure is a trickster with a keen sense of irony and cunning. It takes great delight in tripping one when success is almost within reach.

Principle 9 is the Power of the Master Mind. The mastermind may be defined as “coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.” It means don’t try and do everything yourself if you can team up with people to achieve a vision, do it.

Principle 10 is the Mystery of Sex transmutation…. Yes - the mystery of sex transmutation. Very simply - this means the switching of the mind from thoughts of physical expression, into ideas of some other nature. I’ll just leave that one there. It’s an exciting chapter.

Principles 11, 12, and 13 are called “The Subconscious Mind, The Brain, and The Sixth Sense,” and it’s when this book becomes a mystery school of its own. They explain that our minds are receivers and emitters for thoughts and emotions into the collective field of consciousness, that we’re connected to everyone, that we must train and use our subconscious for connecting to infinite intelligence - aka Source, Spirit, or God - and through the opening to endless abundance, we begin to direct ourselves towards the creation of value in the world which produces wealth as a result. We also develop the faculties of our psychic mind, the sixth sense, through which infinite intelligence may and will communicate voluntarily, without any effort from you. This is the apex of the philosophy, but which can only be genuinely mastered once the other principles have been fully understood and integrated into your psyche.

The book concludes with a final chapter on the Six Ghosts of Fear, where they describe that the sixth sense will be blocked as long as you embody the following fears: The fear of poverty, criticism, ill health, loss of the love of someone, old age, and death. We must tackle these fears and overcome them within us through meditation and other conscious engagement with ourselves, and this will support us in activating our sixth sense.

Now, I know these 13 principles alone are a lot to digest; you might need to rewatch them and take notes! But that said, there’s one more thing from this book I must share with you! Think and Grow Rich also describes the 6 step action item formula to begin creating your spiritual wealth right now. Take note - if you want to transform your financial reality completely - I encourage you to pay close attention to the following.

Step 1. Determine what you want to achieve/accomplish. Decide what your goal is. The purpose must be specific enough that you know when you have completed it. It is also essential that you are emotionally engaged in achieving the goal. Your desire for the result must be strong enough to motivate you to do what you need to, even when you do not want to.

Step 2. Decide what you are willing / need to give in return for what you desire. Nothing worthwhile comes without some price (i.e., time, money, change a habit, etc.). What changes do you need to make to your life/lifestyle that will allow you to achieve your goal?

Step 3. Set a specific date when you want to achieve your goal. This gives you a set timeline to work with as you develop your plan.

Step 4. Develop your plan. Begin at once, whether you are ready or not. What steps are you planning to take that move you towards your goal? Do not wait for the plan to be perfect. Start right away. You can, and will, make adjustments as you go!

Step 5. Write a clear and concise statement of what you want, when you want it, what you are willing to give, and the actions you plan to take to achieve the goal.

Step 6. Read your statement aloud, with emotion, a minimum of two times a day - first thing in the morning, and right before you go to sleep. This is the most critical step in the process. And adding to this - visualize yourself as if you have already achieved your goal. Do this as often as you can during the day, even if only for a few moments.

And that’s it! With that, I now must bring this episode to a close. But before I do, I will say that Think and Grow Rich is a meditation unto itself. While we’ve laid some seeds in this video, I would recommend taking the time to go through the whole book, especially if it helps you conceptualize the principles on a deeper level.

With that, thank you for watching, and I’ll see you next week for something new!

[wizardimpersonator]

holy shit its been ages since ive done one of these lets go

Tagged by @a-humble-goblin which threw me for a second because like yeah we havent talked in ages kghhshfk nice to see you again!!

name: Keev

nickname: Pants

zodiac: Scorpio

height: 5′8″. am manlet

languages: English native speaker, but conversationally fluent in American Sign Language and a beginner in German.

nationality: Unfortunately American. I’m a vague mix of Europe condensed into approximate human form.

favourite season: I’m gonna be real with you I like parts of each season all the same but Ohio has some shitass weather sometimes so it’s hard lmao. If I had to pick, either spring or fall.

flower: fuck uhhhhh lavender’s pretty cool I guess. I am fond of forget-me-nots though.

favourite scent: Lemon? Lavender? Oh but I do like the smell of rain too

favourite fictional character: I have many. You cannot just Ask me this. However I will always love Local Son Boy, Luke fon Fabre.

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Hot cocoa, fuckers

average sleep: Usually around 9-10 hours. College helps.

dogs or cats: I have a fat idiot dog, but I would love to have a cat or two.

number of blankets: Two. I’m very warm so I self-heat well.

dream trip: bryce canyon bryce canyon bryce canyon br—

blog established: 20 fuckin 14, dude.

random fact: i have a skunk skull in my room. at least, i’m 70% sure it’s a skunk skull

current time: 3:44 PM, EST

favourite musical artists: Nothing But Thieves, Bastille, Mother Mother, IDKHow, Icon For Hire, MARINA, Radical Face, Set It Off, TWIN XL, Red Vox, Undead Corporation. I like me some alternative punk, babey.

stuck in my head: In Keyed Fantasy bu Nero’s Day At Disneyland.

last movie i saw: In a theatre? Knives Out. I liked it well enough!

last thing i googled: “Music is My Bag PDF” for class, until I realized I literally had a copy of it in my anthology book.

lucky number: 19 babeeeey

currently wearing: Pajamas. Specifically soft PJ pants with owls on them, a tank top, and a dumb fencing shirt.

dream job: I’d love to actually get off my ass and be a good writer, but I’ll settle for ASL interpreting.

favourite foods: Lemon pastry desserts, fruit in general, fish, uhhhhhhh

instruments: I play flute, but I have a ukulele and an ocarina. Wanna learn more though

favourite song: Like my friend Quad, I legit can’t just pick One song as a favorite, but lately my brain has been pretty stuck on like five Icon for Hire songs at once lmao. Let’s pull up Demons by Icon for Hire as my pick because it do kinda slap though.

Guess I’ll tag @chupikaybruh, @mortisbane (hello hi), @red-shepherds (also hi), and @zuelthecat lmao. Anyone else I’m on good terms with/mutuals/hell if you dont even know me but want to use this as a chance to fill it out then go ahead my man. And if you dont want to regardless of pinging or w/e, I don’t mind either!

[jellybeanbeing]

History of My Bookshelf Challenge

Created by the amazing Emmmabooks!

1. The oldest book on your shelf - An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir 

This is the first physical book I’ve ever gotten and still have. Yes, I only purchased it in 2018 but it’s been about two years so it counts because the other books I have, I got after.

2. A book you read in 2013 (adjust for however many years you like!) - Divergent by Veronica Roth  

I’m like, 85% sure I read this in 2013. I think I read it because the movie was coming out and I wanted to read the book first so I could judge the movie, but it’s been like five years and I still haven’t seen it.

3. A book you read in 2014 - Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

I only remember reading this book during this year because I was sitting at a teacher’s desk when someone came up to me and asked me why I was reading the book when it was going to be required reading in the near future. Other than that, I remember liking the book, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t today.

4. A book you read in 2015 - Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy 

Again, this is one I’m 85% sure I read in 2015. This whole book was a fever dream to me and I kind of want to read it again. 

5. A book you read in 2016 - The Fill-In Boyfriend by Kasie West 

The one thing that makes me sure I read this in 2016 was because I had made a new friend that year and the characters in the book had the same names as her brothers and I messaged her about it. 

6. A book you read in 2017 - A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas 

2017 was a good reading year for me. Before 2017, I read a lot of YA romantic contemporaries and I wasn’t going to change that until my friend lent me ACOTAR. I was reluctant at first because fantasy isn’t my favorite genre but I gave it a try and I really liked it. I ended up finishing the series and moving to other popular fantasy and otherworldly books.

7. A book you read in 2018 - The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White 

This is the year I finally started tracking the books I read. I read about 52 books this year and I’m choosing this one because my experience with it is a semi-interesting one. So I read Frankenstein in class that year and hated it. Found out this book was coming out and showed it to my English teacher who preceded to buy the book, read it, and lent it to me. Said I would probably like it better than the original (because I was open about my feelings of hatred towards the book in class) and turns out, I did! I loved what Kiersten White did with the story and the characters. I was engaged and actually really cared about the characters. 

8. A book you read in 2019 - On the Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta 

I’m obviously going to talk about this one so here it goes: I honestly don’t know what made me put this book on my TBR but it ended up there somehow (I think Goodreads recommended it to me???? But I’m not too sure). Anyways, I was watching a video from Jessethereader where he deciphers emojis into book titles and one of them was “On the Jellicoe Road” so I took that as a sign to read the book. I read it, was confused for a bit, but then fell head over heels for the story and the characters and everything about it. It’s one of my all-time favorite books now and I’m going to reread it again soon. I’ll try to make a review for it.

9. A book you’ve read more than once - The Raven Boys by Maggie Stievater 

Is this a surprise? No. Well, kind of. I’ve only read this book (and series) twice but I’m already planning on rereading it soon and every year after that. It’s my all-time favorite book series and that’s not gonna change for a while. I love the books, I love the characters, I love the story, I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. And it’s funny because it took me so long just to read The Raven Boys because I kept DNFing it. I picked it up in 2016, read the first three chapters, put it down, and forgot about it. A couple months after that, I picked it up again, read the first three chapters, and decided this book wasn’t for me. Around 2018, I got the sudden urge to read the books and thought “fuck it, I’m reading it and I’m gonna finish the book.” I finished the series and mildly liked it. I got another sudden urge to read the series again this 2019 year and IT BLEW MY FREAKING MIND WITH HOW GOOD IT WAS. I just have so much appreciation for this book and Maggie Stiefvater now, and I love it.

10. A book you waited over a year to be published - A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir 

This is honestly the only book I’ve waited over a year to come out. I finished Torch in 2016 and I had to wait until 2018 to read Reaper. It was torture. And it’s still torture because we’re all waiting for Ember 4.

11. A book you read on vacation/away from home - Nectar in a Sieve by Kamala Markandaya

I read this for school and I remember going to California for a dance competition and not having a phone or something to entertain me so I took the book with me. For about a week, I read bits and pieces of it before going to bed. One moment I remember so vividly is reading the book on the plane ride back and it being dark and someone telling me to turn off my light because they were trying to sleep. I then proceeded to turn off my light and stare into the darkness because I wasn’t tired and I couldn't read my book. And if you’re wondering, it was one of those planes that didn’t have a TV at every seat.

12. A book you got from someplace special (anything that’s not your local bookstore/online retailer) - Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert 

My English teacher was retiring and giving away some of his books, and so I decided to rummage through his book and found a special edition of Madame Bovary with gold spray painted edges. It was gorgeous, but I gave it away.

13. A book that made you cry - Mosquitoland by David Arnold

I didn’t cry while reading this book at first, but I went back to read a few passages before giving it away and I don’t know what struck a chord in me but I was crying my eyes out over the book. The passage I had read just resonated with me in that moment and I couldn't help but cry. I read the book before some problems in my life occurred so I guess when I went to read the few parts of the book again, it all hit me real hard.

14. A book you read in one sitting - My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

This one is a fun one (my experience with the book, not the book itself). So, I was, I think 12 or 13 or 14 years old when I read this. At this particular age, I was a firecracker when reading books. I would finish a book, A FULL 300 PAGE BOOK, in one night. I did this a lot. I’m not exaggerating. I think it’s about more than 20 books that this “finishing in one night” happened. This one though, was crazy. I started this book one night at around 7/8pm and finished it around maybe 12am? I then proceeded to pick up another 300 page book right after AND FINISH IT THAT VERY NIGHT, or morning, whatever you think. My reading energy was off the fucking charts at that age. I can’t do this anymore, by the way. It will literally take me a whole month to finish a 200 page book.

15. A book that was a gift - A Conjuring of Light by V.E Schwab 

I had already gotten the book for myself but a friend of mine bought me the book and I couldn’t say no so I took the book and now I have two paperback copies of ACOL, and I’m not mad about it.

16. A book you read before owning (library, borrowed from a friend) - Sula by Toni Morrison

I read for school, and let me tell you, it’s the only book I’ve read for school that I liked and was memorable for a good reason. Right from the first page, it captured my attention and kept it through out the book. I’m planning on rereading it and hopefully I’ll still like it as much as I first did.

17. A book you lent to someone else - Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

Six of Crows is a popular YA series but do you know how hard it was to make one of my friends read this and actually finish it? I gave it to like three of my friends and they all ended up telling me they couldn't get past the first couple of chapters. But I finally got one of my friends to read the duology and finish it and love it as much as I did. I finally have a friend I can talk to about the books.

18. A book that has been damaged - The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

I tend to keep my books in pretty good condition, but I also have butter fingers, so that’s something. Anyways, the amount of times that I have dropped this book and bent the covers is truly astonishing. And it’s bizarre, because whenever I dropped TRB or TDT or BLLB, the covers didn’t bend but when I drop TRK, the cover ALWAYS bends and it’s a whole mess but I still love it. I almost forgot to mention that I got it already fucked up so maybe it’s meant to be.

19. A book you got on sale/discounted - An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

Yes, I’m using this book again because, why not? Anyways, I got this at a thrift store and I was so psyched. I saw this book on the shelf and was so appalled because who would thrift such a good book? (If you didn’t like the book, great. That’s your opinion.) So I decided that this was my chance to finally own a book after years of not owning one, and have it be one of my favorite books.

20. A book you read with someone else (buddy read/read with a book club) - The Refugees by Viet Thanh Nguyen

I take this question to also include books I have read as required reading in class because technically, I did read it with my class. I had such a fun time picking at this book. It was not my favorite book, though I really liked the first story. My English teacher had us write commentary and I loved it. There was no literary analysis whatsoever in my notes, and I think that’s what I loved the most. I reread my notes for that book recently and they are gems.

21. A book you associate with a song - A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro

When the Party’s Over by Billie Eilish is just a song that I associated with Charlotte Holmes, and that’s never gonna change.

22. A book you associate with a food - Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare

It’s not a specific food but more of school lunch for me. I just remember that QOAAD had come out and I was carrying that hunk of a book around and it didn’t fit in my backpack so I carried it in my arms. I was reading the book while my friend was eating her lunch beside me. After she finished eating, I had told her that there were pictures in the book and I wanted to be surprise but she wasn’t gonna read it so she flipped through the book and looked at the pictures. 

23. A book you got years ago that you probably wouldn’t buy now - The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

I got this book in Chicago this 2019 year around May only so it’ s not years ago, but I was a different person in May 2019, alright? I honestly wouldn’t get this book now because I’ve learned that I’m not a big history fan. 

24. A book you associate with a specific time in your life - Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

I was first introduced to this book a long time ago, around the age of 9, I think? My sister had a stack of books from school and I decided to look through it. I read a book called Hushi(?) and I literally, for the life of me, cannot remember who the author was but I really liked that book. Anyways, after reading that, I read bits and pieces of Speak and I vividly remember the day being a bright and sunny day, and reading the attack scene and being so shocked by it. I didn’t really understand it at the time, but every time I read that book or see it, it brings me back to when I was nine.

25. A book you used to like, but don’t anymore - The First Time She Drowned by Kerry Kletter

I talked about this book in another post of mine but it reiterate what I said: this book was a favorite of mine in 2018 but then I reread it again and didn't love it as much. It wasn’t a book that fully captured my attention or kept me intrigued. 

26. The newest book on your shelf - Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

LAST QUESTION! Call Down the Hawk came out recently and you know I had to buy it. I’m currently reading it right now, and I’m already loving it. I’m so excited for what’s in store for the characters. I am, however, feeling a little bit sad because we won’t get to see the whole Gangsey together again (or for a while). Reading CDTH is also making me realize that those who haven’t read The Raven Cycle aren’t going to know the Ronan and Adam and Gansey and Blue that those who have read TRC know them. I don’t say this to be offensive or “you’re not a true fan because you didn’t read TRC”. No, I’m not trying to say that. It’s just like you meeting someone when you’re both 30 as opposed to 14. People are different people at different ages, and Ronan and Adam are different characters in CDTH than TRC and so some people who haven't read TRC series won’t know that version of them. And also, I mean different as in they’ve grown and certain aspects of them have changed.

[hiiggsmonaghan]

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Are you fuckin’ kidding me--?

Alright, I’ll answer them ALL. 

1. Name: Higgs Monaghan Silver/Silvio

2. Nationality: Canadian/Acadian

3. Age: 22

4. Birthday: July 19th 

5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign): Cancer

6. Gender: cis male

7. Sexuality: Gay

8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself):  This will have to wait until a special reveal. (Future cosplay things.)

9. What do you/did you study?: ... Does Egyptian history count?

10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have?: [Nervous laughter] I have no idea what I’d like to do for a job. 

-

11. Your birth order: First child

12. How many siblings do you have?: 1 “real” sibling, but so many siblings by bond.

13. Do you have good relations with your family?: Biological family? Absolutely not. Except for two of my cousins. They are cool.

14. How many friends do you have?: Too many that it’s obnoxious. [Just kidding, I appreciate you all.]

15. Your relationship status: Taken/Engaged

16. What do you look for in a SO?: Someone who can kick my ass. [Who can handle my anger outbursts]

17. Do you have a crush?: No. 

18. When did you have your first kiss?: When I was 14. It was forced and was a terrible experience. 

19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?: Meaningful ones, funny enough.

20. What are your deal breakers?: Overly clingy, too loud, not respectful of my music choices

-

21. How was your day?: Cold. Snowstorm happened today.

22. Favourite food & drink: Pizzas/cheeseburgers || Strawberry slushie with tapioca pearls/orange juice

23. What position do you sleep in?: Fetal position. [Hahahah... ha.]

24. What was your last dream about?: Cannot remember.

25. Your fears: The ocean [drowning], deep forests.. uhh... There are others but I cannot think of it at the moment

26. Your dreams: To be on my goddamn motorcycle, livin’ a good life without my mental illness in the way.

27. Your goals: See above.

28. Any pets?: Not yet! Planin’ to get a black cat soon!

29. What are your hobbies?: Music and readin’

30. Any cool places in your area?: Pfft, no. It’s so fuckin’ boring here.

31. What was your last awkward situation?: I was at Tim Horton’s and there was a baby cryin’ behind me so I looked over at it and played... peek-a-boo with them. It was...weird. But at least the baby shut up. The mother didn’t do shit to make the baby stop cryin’ so.. Great Parenting.

32. What is your last regret?: Well too many to really talk about but I’ll go with the funny route and my last regret was not goin’ to Burger King yesterday and eatin’ salad instead of a burger. 

33. Language/s you can speak: English

34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.): Not really. It’s all just whatever for me.

35. Have any quirks?: I bite my nails often... I pretend to conduct music while it is playing... uh...???

36. Your pet peeves: Everything.

37. Ideal vacation: Anywhere away from North America.

38. Any scars?: Many. 

39. What does your last text message say?: “Nah”

40. Last 5 things from your search history: Twitter, Vargskelethor’s twitch, Cloud Strife, YouTube, FF7 remake release date

41. What's your [device] background?: RK900 from Detroit Become Human

42. What do you daydream about?: Usually having super strength and throwing people whom bother me across the world or just... punchin’ them. 

43. Describe your dream home: A  simple house, really. Nothin’ too fancy. Just the idea of havin’ my own house? Even if it isn’t that big or anythin’... That is a dream for me. Oh, and I want it painted black. Hah.

44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion: I’d say I’m atheist but... I do believe in God. I AM God. :)

45. Your personality type:  ISTP-T

46. The most dangerous thing you've done: [Looks at the list of dangerous things I have done] ... There are too many

47. Are you happy with your current life?: At the moment? Yeah. There are things I am still angry about but it’s... fine.

48. Some things you've tried in your life: Smoking. Drawing. Singing. Writing. Playing the guitar. ???

-

49. What does your wardrobe consist of?: Black and reds. 

50. Favourite colour to wear?: Black.

51. How would you describe your style?: Goth/punk

52. Are you happy with your current looks?: Eh.. Not really but it’s all I got.

53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?: Grow. Damn. Facial. Hair. Holy FUCK.

54. Any tattoos or piercings?: Snake bites. But I took one out so only one lip piercing now. And tattoos? Soon. Very soon. [Gonna be Higgs’ themed, baby.]

55. Do you get complimented often?: No and when I do I make it Stop. I hate it. Never compliment me. 

56. Favourite aesthetic?: Black/gold aesthetics as of late.

57. A popular trend that you dislike: Everything. I hate them all.

- [FINALLY THE ONES I WANTED, JESUS CHRIST]

58. Songs you're currently obsessed with?:  Allesfresser by LINDEMANN 

It’s a great song to listen to for me because I just punch my punching bag to this song. Makes my anger just... go away. It’s fuckin’ nice.

59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like: .... Let’s Dance by David Bowie

I am a new fan of David Bowie. It just literally started in July or late June. I’m the typical metal head but for some reason Bowie just caught my ear? I dunno, man.

60. Favourite genre?: METAL. Well, Power Metal. I love all sorts of metal except for like.. most death metal/black metal. It is too much for me sometimes. But yeah, if yall are into metal... I’m all ears. I love talkin’ about metal.

61. Favourite artist/band/genre?: Well I already spoke about my favorite genre. For favorite bands? God... Uh.. I have a list here of favorite bands/musicians. Check it out if you’re interested. 

62. Hated popular songs/artists?: Honestly? I’m gonna be one of those guys and say pretty much everything on the radio these days. I don’t like pop/rap and all the most popular stuff. Turning the radio on is ear torture these days. Except for the rock channel, that one is okay most of the time.

63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5:

1 - System of a Down’s Chop Suey in the Style of Ghost by Ten Second Songs

This guy is simply AMAZING. If yall haven’t already, you NEED to check out his channel. He is wicked talented and he has different styles for different songs. Like for example, Metallica’s Enter Sandman in the style of David Bowie. It’s amazing. 

Check him out. His YouTube is Ten Second Songs.

2 - City by Hollywood Undead

This one just gives me my inner Higgs’ vibes. That is really all I can say.

3 - Mein Teil by Rammstein

4 - Cars by Fear Factory

5 -  龍が如く極 - Turning Point [From Yakuza Kiwami]

Yeah, hi. Yakuza fan here. Do I have to say any more? 

64. Can you sing or play any instruments?: I can kind of sing, [very badly, mind you] and sort of play the guitar. I’m tryin’ to learn Come as You Are by Nirvana at the moment... but that’s about it

65. Do you like karaoke?: 

.... Yes. My inner Nishiki in me just cannot lie about this.

66. Own any albums?: Absolutely. I am a firm believer in albums rather than just buying them digitally. I love having an actual copy in my hands rather just on the computer. 

67. Do you listen to radio? What stations?: Not really. I only listen to the rock station.

-

68. Favourite movie/series?: Star Wars.

69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc: Uhhh... I don’t know

70. Your fictional crush/es: Sam Fuckin’ Porter Bridges, General Hux, RK900...

71. Which fictional character is you?: [Chuckles nervously] 

Higgs Monaghan-- 

Too many to write down. I’ll just pass myself the trouble.

72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so: Eh not really. Only like.. Gavin/RK900 [Reed900] and General Hux/Kylo Ren [Kylux/Huxlo]

73. Favourite greek god?: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? I don’t know?

74. A legend from where you live that you like: None.

75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist?: I’m gonna be cheesy and say all of my friends because it’s true. I love my friends art.

76. Can you share your other social media?: Yeah sure. My twitter is @hiiggsmonaghan

77. Favourite youtubers?: Markiplier, Jacksepticeye... Streamers: Vargskelethor and Vinesauce

78. Favourite platform?: Tumblr and Twitter

79. How much time do you spend on the internet?: .. Too long

80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite?: Ones I have PLAYED that are my favorite: Pokemon, Devil May Cry, Final Fantasy XV, Yakuza 0/Kiwami. 

I also have a lot a games I love that I just watched. Like a lot of Legend of Zelda games and of course Death Stranding!

81. Your favourite books (manga also counts): Anything really by William Blake. I guess that really isn’t a “book” but.. all I really read are poems, Shakespearean plays and Egyptian history books.

82. Do you play board/card games?: No

83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema?: No

84. Favourite holiday: Halloween

85. Are you into dramas?: Not really.

-

86. Would you use death note, if you had one?: ABSOLUTELY. And I do have one. Well... a replica. Not the real one of course.

87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?: Get rid of the racists, rapists, pedos and homo/trans phobes. The world would just be more pleasant to live in, yeah?

88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse?: Probably. Because I stay inside a lot anyway.

89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be?: A demon because I am that fuckin’ edgy.

90. What would you want to happen to you after your death?: VOID OUT, BITCH. Uh, I don’t know. 

91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?: I did change my name so I am happy with it. 

92. Who would you switch your life with for a week?: Uh.. No one. Can that be an option?

93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo: The devil smiling one I guess?

94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

1. I am in a poly relationship while I am also engaged.

2. I have a knife collection

3.I still used an mp3 instead of using my phone for music

-

95. Cold or hot?: ... Cold because you can get warm with blankets and sweaters while if you are hot, it’s damn impossible to not be hot.

96. Be a hero or be a villain?: Hero in my eyes, but to all of you I’m the villain for some DAMN reason.

97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?: Sing I guess. Imagine singing in metal. Holy SHIT

98. Shapeshifting or controlling time?: CONTROLLING TIME.

99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?: Immune to everything. I’m sick of being sick.

====

And there you have it. I’m... fuckin’ DONE. This took literal HOURS, ANON. I hope yall read through this.

[cywscross]

Dumb question: how does jury duty work in canada?

…Do you want the entire process? I guess I could do that.

There are probably small differences between each province but in general and from my own experience, first if you’re of age and a citizen, then you get randomly chosen and a letter is sent through the mail indicating the date of the jury selection (so you’re not a juror just yet), and you have to confirm - either online or by mail (they prefer online cuz it’s quicker) - within a limited amount of time (10 days, if I remember correctly) that you will be going, or you’ll probably be fined. It also tells you if you’re taking part in a civil case or a criminal case - civil has a final jury of 8, criminal is usually 12. I was picked for a criminal case, so on the day of the jury selection, there were around 145 people, and out of those, 14 would be chosen as jurors (12 jurors + 2 backups who would come on the first day of the trial just in case one of the original 12 doesn’t show or whatever, and then they’re excused and don’t have to come back).

The selection is held in a courtroom with a judge, the accused, the defense lawyers and the crown (prosecutor) all present. Every potential juror has a number from their letter, and the court clerk randomly picks 10-20 numbers at a time. Those 10-20 people go up to the front, and one by one they’re presented to the judge and defense/crown counsels. If you have an excuse for being excused from jury duty, this would be the time to address the judge and tell them, and the judge decides whether or not it’s a good enough reason to excuse you. If it is, then they’ll tell you to either go back to your seat or leave entirely.

For excuses, I think it depends on how severe the case is and the judge. Like, for my selection panel, one guy said he had his allotted vacation weeks coming up, and he didn’t even have anything concrete planned, but the judge was like okay, give the man his vacation. But I heard from a different jury that for their selection panel, they had a guy who said his only kid was getting married on Monday, relatives were flying in, they had a cruise booked, and he even brought tickets and schedules and stuff for proof, but the judge still just asked can you be unbiased, and the guy was like yeah, so the judge said no, and none of the counsels challenged, and so he was made a juror. I also heard though that a lot of people were trying to excuse themselves because that case was a particularly tough one so maybe the judge had to be harder on the selection.

Anyway, if you don’t have anything to say to the judge, then you just stand there while the crown and the defense decide whether they want you on the jury or not. I think it’s different in the States, but in Canada, they don’t really ask you any questions (so no voir dire), they just kind of look at you and say “content” if they’re okay with you or “challenge” if they’re not, although I think they have a limited number of challenges that they’re each allowed. If even one of them challenges, they don’t have to explain why, and you’re immediately excused back to your seat.

For me, the case I was part of had two defense lawyers because there were two accused, so each person needed three “content”s to become a juror. AND LET ME JUST SAY RIGHT NOW - NOT ONLY WAS I THE THIRD NUMBER IN THE VERY FIRST BATCH PICKED TO GO UP, BUT I WAS ALSO LITERALLY THE FIRST PERSON CHOSEN TO BE A JUROR MY LUCK IS TERRIBLE.

Anyway, the process repeats until they have 14 people (or 10 for civil). I imagine the crown and the defense all have some kind of background information on you that they read over beforehand because they do keep track of which numbers are called up, and I know they have a list in front of them. I’m not 100% sure but they probably checked off whoever they thought were suitable beforehand because the content or challenge is really quick. They did ask an occasional question, like for one lady who was called up, they asked what she did before she retired, and then one of them challenged after her answer. But generally from what I saw, on the day of the selection, all they do is give you a quick look and yes or no you, so either they were provided with more info than we realized or they actually just chose us based on what we looked like and our name and current occupation, which is important too but I feel like it’s not really enough info. And the actual jury that’s picked all get criminal record checks.

If you’re contented by the counsels, then you need to swear in. You can decide whether to affirm or swear on the bible, and the court clerk reads out the affirmation, and you just say “I do”.

(Me and public speaking are sworn enemies though, so I’m pretty sure literally nobody except the sheriff standing right next to me heard my “Yes I do’ffirm” nonsensical mumble, my anxiety levels were through the roof, and it didn’t help that I was the FIRST GDI, I didn’t even have an example to follow so I wasn’t 100% sure what to say, like is it “I affirm” or “Yes” or do I have to repeat what she said??? I wasn’t clear on that so that made me panic, and the thought that I had to recite the whole affirmation back to her made me panic more because I missed half of it while I was panicking. My hands were shaking by the time I sat down, it was torture.)

But after you’re chosen as a juror, you go directly to the jury box, and then you just sit and wait for the rest.

So that’s jury selection. For the selection group I was part of, there was only one case that day that needed a jury, but I think it could be more, so if you’re not chosen as a juror, then there’s a chance that the sheriff will take you to another jury selection for another trial.

Anyway, I was picked as a juror, and we were taken to the jury room and given a bunch of instructions (basic info about the trial, don’t look at the news, don’t do any research, photocopy of some ID so they can do those criminal record checks, when to come back for the actual trial, where to meet, etc.) and then we get to go home. On occasion, if the trial is urgent, then you may need to start right on that day, right after you’re selected. But my jury selection was on a Thursday, and the trial didn’t start until Monday, so we got to go home that day.

Actual jury duty started on the Monday. We were told that the trial would last around 20 days but it ended up just short of three weeks. So for about two and a half weeks, we went in every day from Monday to Friday, and we sat in court from 10-4, although there were multiple breaks in between (15min break in the morning, then lunch from 12:30pm to 1:45pm, and then another 15min break in the afternoon). We weren’t allowed to discuss anything about the case outside of the jury room, and the Sheriff assigned to us pretty much escorted us whenever we were in the building.

For the trial itself, we sit in the jury box and pretty much just listen to the evidence presented and take notes. It was a public trial so there were people in the gallery (victim’s parents were there, and a reporter too, amongst other people), and the two accused sat in a glass box in front of the gallery. The crown started first - she gave a summary of the whole case, and then she presented evidence (they’re labelled “exhibits”, which we’re each given copies of) and called in witnesses. For witnesses, the crown asks them questions, and the defense is allowed to cross-examine them each time the crown finished with one. I’ve forgotten how many witnesses the Crown called (I think it was 20-something) but she took about two weeks total to finish, which was faster than they originally thought it would take, and they said it was because several of the exhibits were Admissions of Facts, which are like evidence that both the crown and defense agreed were factual evidence beforehand and so could be compiled into a booklet for the judge and jury, so there was no need to present each piece individually.

Then it was the defense’s turn. For my case, they were originally not planning to call any witnesses but each of the accused ended up testifying so each of them took a couple days. Their lawyers asked them questions, and then the Crown was allowed to cross-examine them after each of them finished.

After all the evidence had been presented, the jury was dismissed (for us, it was about half a day I think) so that the crown and defense could put together their closing arguments for us. Those took a couple hours each, and the crown had something to discuss with the judge so we were dismissed again for half a day and restarted the next day.

After the closing arguments were finished, the judge took about a day to put together her charge, which was like instructions for us (in more booklets, if there’s one thing I learned about trials, it’s that they kill a lot of trees) about what we have to deliberate on, and a bunch of explanations about the law. So that took about three hours, and for us, she split it, so it was two hours on one afternoon and then an hour the next morning. We were told a day before to pack a bag and prepare for a couple overnight stays. I packed for four days, a couple others did too, and we only ended up staying overnight once. I have no idea how other people survive when their deliberations last for weeks, but our sheriff mentioned that after a handful of days, if the jury still isn’t finished, they usually cart in new clothes for them. Maybe they let them use the laundry facilities at the hotel, but I’m not sure. But yeah, they give us a heads-up beforehand to prepare for at least a couple overnights even if you don’t expect deliberations to take that long.

And then after the judge’s charge, the jury was dismissed to begin their deliberations, and from that point on, we are sequestered, any electronics we brought are locked up, and we’re not allowed to go home until we reach a final decision for each of the accused (guilty, not guilty, or if we couldn’t come to an agreement, then the judge would label it a mistrial and order a new trial with a whole new jury, which I hear that judges tend to try to avoid so she probably would’ve sent us back in for further deliberations first if we couldn’t come to a unanimous verdict, and yes it does have to be unanimous). We are technically allowed to contact someone on the outside but through a third party only, and you have to fill out a form each time with whoever you’re contacting, the number, and the message you want to send them, and the sheriffs call for you and convey the message.

Again this is for a criminal case. I heard from another jury of a civil case that was going on at the same time as ours that they’re not sequestered for deliberations, they actually get to go home each day if they take longer than a day to decide.

My jury took longer than a day. About a day and a half. So whenever we left the jury room (we were literally locked in), we were escorted everywhere by two sheriffs. We didn’t have to pay for meals during this time, but holy cow they took us to those family restaurants with appetizer/entree/dessert menus every time? It probably didn’t help that our law courts are surrounded by them, but the food is so heavy, by lunch the next day all I ate was a tomato soup, I don’t know how people who work there don’t die of high cholesterol or food comas if this is their regular diet.

Anyway, so yeah, lunch, dinner, we asked for a walk in the afternoon so the sheriffs took us out for a short walk. People stared, it was kind of funny, we had to walk between the two sheriffs, so one was in front of us and the other brought up the rear. They took us to a coffee shop once and parked themselves on either side of the only door as we ordered, and these two teenagers inside just sort of stared and whispered nervously for two minutes before fast-walking out without ordering.

Deliberations lasted until 9, and then we were taken to a hotel. (And no, we weren’t given back our phones, I felt like I was going into withdrawal.) Don’t expect anything fancy, we just stayed in a Holiday Inn. The way it works is they reserve an entire floor for us, and every juror gets their own room. The sheriffs get the room directly in front of the elevators and they stay awake with the door left open the entire night so nobody is able to sneak out (apparently that actually happens). We’re not allowed to interact with each other and are expected to stay in our own rooms and not watch the news. The rooms weren’t bad, and I was hella tired so all I did was grab a shower and watch an episode of Chicago Med before falling asleep by 11, which has to be some kind of record for me.

I was up by 6:45 I think but wake up call was at 7. The hotel called up to wake us all, and the sheriffs told us last night to be ready by 8. We ate breakfast in the restaurant downstairs (I got an eggs benedict ^_^), and then off we went back to court. Oh, and you don’t leave your stuff at the hotel, you pack up every morning like you’re checking out. Maybe it’s different for really difficult cases when the jury is definitely expected to take longer but I can’t be certain. So yeah, you gotta haul your luggage around every day.

More deliberations, and we don’t stop on the weekends the way we do when the trial is in progress, we work right through. My jury came to a final decision by the afternoon, although before that in the morning, we actually had a few questions for the judge, so we went back into the courtroom for that. During deliberations, the judge and the counsels and the accused don’t have to stay in the courtroom but they are all expected to stay nearby during our work hours (9am-9pm), and if the jury has any questions for the judge, they reconvene the whole court each time before we get our answers.

We came to our final verdict, the court reconvened, the gallery was full, and the foreperson (basically the person we chose to act as our speaker to the judge, cuz we don’t speak in court, only the foreperson does) stood up when called. The judge asked whether each of the accused was guilty or not guilty, foreperson answered, and then the court clerk asked the rest of us to stand if we agreed with the foreperson, which we did.

And that was about it. Sentencing happens later, and is decided by the judge. For this case, it doesn’t happen until May. I think the counsels take that time to prepare their arguments for the sentence that will be delivered, although I’m not too clear on this bit.

But the jury’s job is done. We were escorted back downstairs, given back our phones, and for those of us who wanted one, the sheriffs called taxis for each of us and gave us prepaid cards so the taxis would charge the ride directly to the courts. I knew this before we gave our final verdict, and at the time, I wasn’t sure why the sudden taxis when most of us either drove in or took transit, but… yeah, after the verdict, I didn’t really want to chance bumping into the victim’s or accused’s relatives either.

It can be boring, that’s true enough from what you hear or read off the internet. I almost nodded off a couple times during the trial. But it was also an interesting experience, and I actually learned a lot. And deciding whether someone is guilty or not guilty - that carries a kind of weight I actually wasn’t expecting. It’s not like I even knew the accused, and I’ve never been the empathetic sort, I don’t relate easily with other people emotionally so I didn’t think I’d really care, but - and it wasn’t even just me - when we decided guilty for the first accused, I don’t really know how to describe it, just that it was a weight. The final verdict we came to, obviously I think was the right one. We argued about it and looked over the evidence and explanations of the law so much I never want to see phrases like “beyond a reasonable doubt” or “neither trivial nor transitory” ever again, before each of us made our decision. And I didn’t lose any sleep over it yesterday, but I have asked myself a few times if I’m absolutely sure we made the right decision. And I still think we have. But. Yeah. It stays with you. Or at least it has with me.

And the trial itself was pretty eye-opening in more than one way. Like, each witness was asked - among other things - to describe each of the people involved in the incident, and of course what happened, and every single version was different in some way. A couple times, I’ve found myself taking extra notice of what the people passing me on the streets are wearing lmao. Also, the case made me a lot more aware of how much a simple action can change your life. Like, we absolutely believed that the accused didn’t mean to kill the victim. It was just a simple punch. Not even two minutes before that, he was just going about his day per usual. And then just like that, one punch and he’s being arrested five days later because the guy’s dead from his head hitting the ground too hard when he went down from the punch, and the one who punched him is going to go to jail for something he never intended to do. Some of the most thoughtless actions have some serious long-lasting consequences, and like I knew that, but I didn’t know until after this case. So, you know, think before you act.

Anyway. Uh. A few extra notes:

I know it’s different everywhere, but for where I live, if you do jury duty (not just jury selection but chosen to be an actual juror), then you’re exempt from the jury lottery for two years. Yay.

And there is reimbursement for travel, up to a certain amount. How much is different everywhere too, but basically you get a form at the beginning where you fill out each day how much you used, or how many kilometers you drove, etc., and they send you a cheque later.

And you get paid for jury duty. Which is also different everywhere. I hear in Quebec, starting pay is $103/day, which is totally unfair. In Ontario, you don’t even get paid for like the first 10 days. Most provinces under-pay. Quebec is the exception. And Ontario and I think Manitoba are the opposite extremes. You pay for meals during the course of the trial yourself though; only deliberation meals are free.

Uhhh the Judge is referred to as “Your Lordship/Ladyship” or “My Lord/Lady”, not “Your Honour”. Might be different elsewhere but in a supreme court where I live, that’s what they’re called. And the counsels all refer to each other as “My Friend”.

Clothes. I tried reading up on the jury selection process before I actually went, and it said business casual, so I dressed business casual, and then I went and felt overdressed. Idk if that’s just Canada, but from what I saw, only one guy looked even more formal than me in a full suit and bowtie. The majority just went in jeans or slacks, some in formal shoes, some in sneakers. It’s been cold so coats or sweaters/hoodies, and shirts without logos. That didn’t change for the actual trial. Or maybe my business casual is just a little more formal than everyone else’s. Also I think the guy in front of me when we were lining up to check in with the sheriffs on selection day was drunk. And they told us to be there by 8:45am. We didn’t actually get into a courtroom until like 9:35am, and the selection didn’t actually begin until 10-ish. There was a lot of waiting.

I think that’s it. I can’t really remember anything else at the moment. Oh, the thing about government coffee being terrible? Yeah, that’s absolutely true. They provided the jury room with coffee, but hell it’s disgusting.

So yeah, I hope that helped? If you can bear reading such a lengthy explanation lol.

[jgreenfeld]

meet the muse;

jessica abigail greenfeld | 22 | bisexual | irish-american | aeronautical engineering student/mechanic | potterhead | supernerd | oreo addict | bookworm | cheerleader

10 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

1. Harry Potter

Your obsession with Harry freakin' Potter is a timeless affair. You read the first book tucked into a corner on the a tour bus, musicians fiddling with their instruments all around you, but you were lost to them. You were too busy learning spells, playing Quidditch and fancying yourself Mrs Jessica Potter. Sure, a lot of your friends have outgrown their Harry Potter phase, but you don't think that'll ever happen to you. He was never just a character to you, he was a comfort when you were recovering from your illness and figuring out what life was going to be like without being able to hear things from now on. You lost quite a number of things after the meningitis hit, but you never lost Harry. He taught you how to be brave and true and a little bit sassy, and you're always going to love him.

2. Atticus Finch

Your father is a mechanic, not a lawyer. He wears sports jerseys instead of tweed suits. But he's still the closest thing to Atticus Finch that this world is going to get - in your eyes anyway. Your dad was the first one to introduce you to To Kill A Mockingbird. He panicked and shoved his own copy into your hands after you finished the fifth Harry Potter book and spent three straight hours wailing over Sirius. Of course, TKAM wasn't going to be something that necessarily cheered you up, but you were hooked from the get-go. Atticus taught you how to be just and fair. He taught you to think about what it would be like to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. He taught you valuable life lessons that you still carry today, and even though it would be impossible to hope that everyone in the world could be more like him, you could at lease try to channel all that energy yourself. You like to think that he taught you how to be a better person.

3. Mark Watney

Mark Watney taught you that space is dangerous and terrifying and that it has the potential to be the very death of you. He taught you that it's vast and empty and nothing but a challenge. And it only made you love it even more. When your father picked up on your space obsession, right after your solar system model won first prize at the middle school science fair, he gave you a copy of The Martian. In all honesty, he had no clue what it was about but the name hinted that he was on the right path. You devoured it whole. Or rather... you spent the full night yelling at your book whenever something traumatic happened and Michelle fully attempted to smother you with a literal pillow just to get you to shut up. Mark Watney made you fall in love with space even more, and he kickstarted your desire to work for NASA one day. When you feel like you're never going to make it, you just need to look to him for a kick up the ass.

4. Gilbert Blythe

Gilbert Blythe is the very first love of your life. You understand that there's a high chance you’re not his type, because when he tugs on Anne's pigtails and calls her 'carrots', she hits him over the head with a slate and it's love at first sight for him because of that. If Gilbert Blythe ever tugged on your hair to get your attention, then you probably would have just decided to marry him right then and there. Still, what's not to love about him? He's kind and he's funny and he's smart and he cares about school. Perhaps you would be relationship goals based solely on the fact that you're a nerd and he's a nerd. But you'll never get to test that theory out, which is a shame. In the meantime, Gilbert is setting the standards for all other men and he's raised the bar to a whole other level.

5. Paddington Bear

Paddington Bear is the reason you demanded a duffle coat and red wellies at the age of six. He's the reason you wanted to travel to Darkest Peru whenever a family vacation was brought up. And he's the reason that you still unironically enjoy a marmalade sandwich, even to this day. Plus, he's cuddly and kind and the exact friend you think anyone should have. Honestly, you'd love to be someone's answer to Paddington Bear.

6. Matt Saracen

You're never going to be a football player and, to be quite honest, you never really want to be. You're tiny and any tackle would crush you in an instant. Soccer, on the other hand, is different. And then, of course, there's cheerleading. Matt Saracen was never a cheerleader, although you have total faith in him and believe that he could be anything he wanted to be. He was a football player though, and had always been desperate to be one, despite shortcomings like money and being one of the younger kids on the team. You relate to that. Friday Night Lights taught you all about teamwork. You love being part of a group like that, whether that be the girls soccer team or the cheerleading squad. It's what you miss most about high school, that sense of belonging. You love your family but Michelle likes to make your life a living hell, Brendan can only defend you so much and Gabby has her head in the clouds half the time. Matt taught you that sometimes it's okay to feel way more at home when you're part of a team.

7. Leslie Knope

She likes waffles, she likes fairness and she loves her friends. Leslie Knope is exactly the kind of woman that you want to grow up to be. Maybe you don't have a future in politics, but that's okay! You can still embody her in all the ways that are important. You're a feminist, you would happily arrange a wedding ceremony for two gay penguins and you would absolutely die for Michelle Obama. Leslie Knope is that caring and goofy friend that you want to be, and while you're not as savvy as her or as good with words, and you absolutely do not have her knack for public speaking, you wake up every morning and tell yourself that you're going to be a Pawnee Goddess that day.

8. Clint Barton

You watch the Avengers and you fall in love with superheroes. Your dad seems bolstered by this since he's been trying to get you to read comics for years now, and this eventually persuades you. You discover that you're a die-hard Captain America fan and there are several failed attempts to write a popular Steve/Bucky story when you foray into fanfiction, only to realise you're nowhere near as gifted a writer as you think you are. But you still love this world and these characters and it's like a blanket gets wrapped around you when you find out Clint Barton is actually deaf in the comics. Just like you. You devour Hawkguy, trawl the internet for all the meta discourse and fanfiction you can find and you even dress up as Kate Bishop one Halloween. Clint Barton teaches you that you can have a disability and still be a superhero.

9. Luke Skywalker

There was no way that you were making it through your childhood without discovering Luke. And Leia and Han and Chewie. But Luke was the one that stuck with you most and your dad was very proud of you for that. He's a hero, but not the typical rough-and-tough, 'needs a damsel in distress to save' sort of hero. He teaches you that you can save the galaxy and still be loyal and compassionate and have a good heart. You don't need to be jaded to be a hero, and it's okay to show emotion. And sometimes it's okay to be a little bit of a drama queen as well. You appreciate that last one.

10. Buttercup

The Princess Bride is one of the few movies that you and Michelle actually agree on. Or rather, you like all movies and she hates anything that you like. But even Michelle can't say no to The Princess Bride. Buttercup is a character who undergoes development, giving you hope that maybe one day Michelle will also go through that same growth and decides that she wants you to be her sister. Perhaps it's a pipe dream but you never give up hope. Buttercup also teaches you that you can fall hard and fast for someone who says 'as you wish' to your every command and like, you get that. You're pretty sure that you'd die on the spot should anyone say that to you.

9 TWEETS

@jupiterjess: i've ran out of oreos. is my life even worth living anymore?

@jupiterjess: the new cheerleading captain at jasper high messaged me for tips. LITTLE OLD ME. i'm blushing hardcore.

@jupiterjess: thank you so much to everyone who failed to tell me i've been walking around with a chocolate milk moustache all day!!!!! you're the best guys!!!!!! thanks!!!!!

@jupiterjess: do you ever just. stop and think. about exoplanets?? someone come hold my hand and talk to me about exoplanets.

@jupiterjess: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

@jupiterjess: america, i have no idea what you're doing right now, but you need to be better than this. wake up and smell the racism.

@jupiterjess: 'it's a power that jedi have that lets them control people and... makes things float.' rEY asdfgh

@jupiterjess: as a bisexual, the trailer for 'last christmas' has been very difficult for me. thoughts and prayers for jess in this trying time.

@jupiterjess: @NASA i love u

8 FACTS ABOUT SPACE

1. Halleys Comet won’t orbit past earth again until 2061

JESS' INPUT: Okay, so here's another fun fact about Halleys Comet! At Disney's Magic Kingdom, Main Street USA is connected to Tomorrowland by one thing and one thing only. Main Street's design is based on the year 1910, and Tomorrowland's design is based on the year 1986. What do those two years have in common? That was when Halleys Comet orbited past Earth! ... That's more of a Disney World fact, but pretty cool all the same, huh?

2. A full NASA spacesuit costs $12,000,000.

JESS' INPUT: 12 million! That's so much money, holy smokes. Honestly, imagine going around wearing an outfit that cost 12 million dollars. Wouldn't be me! I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it.

3. There may be a planet made out of diamonds.

JESS' INPUT: Okay, so this planet is like, 40 lightyears away and it's eight times the size of earth. Researchers think it could be made of graphite and diamonds and everyone is like 'wow, that's cool!' And okay. yeah, I get it. Diamond planet. That's super cool. But you know what isn't cool? That episode of Doctor Who where they went to the diamond planet and that one woman got possessed. That was the opposite of cool.

4. The footprints on the moon will be there for 100 million years.

JESS' INPUT: There's no atmosphere on the moon so the footprints there can't be eroded by wind or anything like that. So those footprints are going to be there for practically forever. Imagine being Buzz and Neil and being able to flex like that. I went to the grocery store the other day, accidentally dropped a jar of Marmite and then stood in it - so my footprint was there because the cashier couldn't handle the Marmite-y smell for long enough to clean it up and apparently I wasn't allowed to help for 'health and safety'. So at least my footprint is going to be imprinted somewhere. Just nowhere that's as cool as the moon.

5. The moon was once a piece of the earth.

JESS' INPUT: People think that there was some sort of collision which made a part of earth break off. They say it was an early protoplanet of Mars called Theia. Anyway, Theia made the moon break away from Earth but it stayed around to orbit us because of the Earth's gravitational pull. Don't you love the moon? She's a lesbian queen! Hey, maybe Theia had a crush on her or something and just went about it like, the wrong way.

6. There is floating water in space.

JESS' INPUT: Uh huh! So there's this massive water vapour cloud that astronauts found and it holds - oh my gosh, get reads for this - it holds 140 trillion times the mass of Earth's oceans. My head is honestly spinning just thinking about it. 140 trillion! That's crazy!

7. There is a volcano on Mars three times the size of Everest.

JESS' INPUT: Yep, her name is Olympus Mons and I would personally like to know why she didn't have a starring role in The Martian. Maybe it's because she would have easily outshined Matt Damon. Sorry, Matt.

8. In 3.75 billion years, the Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies will collide.

JESS' INPUT: I'll be honest, my brain doesn't even know where to begin processing this. I can't... compute. What is this... I can't... Sorry, I'm shutting down. Jess out!

7 OREO FLAVOURS

7. Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreos. - you can pretend you can handle spicy food by eating one of these. and doesn't that make you look cultured, huh? still... it's a weird mix of flavours. 5/10. 6. Peeps Oreos. - a solid 7/10 for taste... but you still feel guilty about eating a fluffy marshmallow chicken, hence the low ranking. 5. Oreo Mini. - all the 10/10 taste of a regular oreo but they're tiny so it's very easy to hide them when you want to sneakily eat them in class! a solid 12/10 for being so gosh darn convenient. 4. Golden Oreos. - look, you were brought up in ireland and that means that sometimes you just really, really want a custard cream, okay? this is america's answer to that and it comes in a delicious, compact oreo form. *chef's kiss* exquisite. 8.5/10 3. Mint Oreos. - honestly, it's so easy to feel halfway to sophisticated when you eat one of these. a solid 9/10. 2. Red Velvet Oreos. - CREAM CHEESE IS THE PEOPLE'S CHEESE!!! 10/10!!!!!! 1. Cinnamon Bun Oreos. - you nearly cried when you tasted these for the first time. the sun was shining. obama was president. your skin was clear, your crops were growing. the promise of tomorrow was as bright and warm as the feeling in your chest when that cinnamon-y biscuit-y goodness first met your tastebuds. you could write an essay on cinnamon bun oreos. 100000/10.

6 FAMILY MEMBERS

1. Jensen Greenfeld

Your dad is probably your favourite person in the world. You'd do anything for him - including deferring your college acceptance to keep an eye on him, because that's what family does. He's your rock, your best friend, and he's the most giving person you've ever met in your life. He and your mum met in university when he studied abroad for a year and they were instantly best friends, keeping in touch long after they'd graduated and your dad moved back home. He knew your mum always wanted a kid and so he gave her you. It's unconventional, you know that, and most people raised their eyebrows at him helping another woman conceive in such a short time after his wife passed away, but that's the kind of person your dad is. Generosity helped him through his grief. How could anyone criticise that? He taught you how to ride a bike, change a leaky exhaust and adopted Comet for you so you wouldn't feel so lonely when you moved to New York to be with him. When he ended up in hospital, you were beside yourself. But not because you had to stay with him now instead of going to college like you'd planned. You could never begrudge him that, not when so much of his own life has been dedicated to making sure you were happy.

2. Magda McTaggert

Your mum has never had the easiest life. Disowned by her parents after she came out to them, she had to make her own way in the world. That's something you've never been able to relate to, because she made sure that you always had people who loved you. When you were sick as a kid, she stayed up with you every night, barely getting any sleep herself. She was your champion when you began to learn sign language, and she held your hand when the doctors first began talking about your cochlear implants. You miss her when she's in Ireland and you're in America, but she's only ever a Skype call away.

3. Kinsey McTaggert

Technically, Kinsey is your step-mother. But you rarely refer to her as that. She's your ma. She's been in your life since you were three-years-old so keeping her at arms-length with a 'step' term doesn't feel right to you when she's just as much your family as your mum and dad are. Sure, you'll call her by your first name but that's because Kinsey is so terrifyingly, inexplicably, astronomically cool. She's been managing bands for her whole life, she has pink hair and she let you come on tour when you were younger and being homeschooled. Your fondest memories are the tour bus with your mum and Kinsey and whatever up and coming rockers had adopted you as their little sister. Kinsey is the reason you felt alright leaving your mum behind to start school in America. You know she's in safe hands with her wife.

4. Michelle Greenfeld

Michelle has pretty much hated you since the day you were born. Perhaps 'hate' is a strong word, but she highly dislikes you and never let you forget the fact that you're only her half-sister. In some ways, you get it. You came into the family shortly after her mum had died. Her dad had a kid with another woman and, even though there were absolutely no romantic feelings involved, it still must have felt like a kick in the teeth. You try your best to be accommodating of her feelings because you know she's not all bad. The ways she treats Brendan and especially Gabby is proof of that. She can be the perfect big sister - unfortunately, just not to you.

5. Brendan Greenfeld

Brendan likes you though, and you're so happy about that. Brendan is exactly what you want in a big brother. He's protective and funny and taught you all the cheats for his video games, so you're basically unstoppable when it comes to Mario Kart now. He was also the one that told Gabby to shut up when she saw you for the first time after you lost your hearing. He took learning sign language in his stride and always makes sure there's room for you to sit at movie night. Sometimes you worry that, if it ever came down to it, he'd still pick Michelle over you - full sibling loyalty and all. But maybe that's doing Brendan an injustice, because he's never been anything other than the perfect big brother to you.

6. Gabby Greenfeld

Gabby is a sweetheart. She might be a little flaky at times and come out with mildly offensive things, but you know that she means well. Michelle is her favourite but she loves you as well, even if she often turns her nose up at your love for scrunchies and denim jackets. She'd rather get you to wear something sparkly and show-y and while you'll never say no to glitter, you don't think that Gabby's closet is quite for you. In fact, you're pretty sure only she can pull it off. Gabby is wild and free and doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. She's loving and loud and you want to make sure that you get to keep her around forever.

5 MEMORIES

memory one

You blush when Tor lets out a low whistle. "Some talent you've got there, Little J," he says. That makes you blush even more. Tor is just so nice. And has a handsome face. Kinsey says you're far too young to like boys yet and that you're far too smart to like someone like Tor. She says he goes through girls like a revolving door and you're not sure what that means, but you like the attention from him anyway. "I was just messing around," you smile, your fingers trailing over the keys again. He tips back his head and laughs. "Well, mess around anymore and I might be out of a job. Are you trying to upstage me?" Tor teases. Grinning, you shake your head and Serge wanders over. Normally, he's so tall and silent and sort of intimidating but his smile is warm when he reaches over to ruffle your hair. "Say the word and I'll kick Tor to the curb in an instant, Jess," he promises solemnly. You know that they're just joking, but it's nice to feel that sort of validation. Especially when you're a little kid and they're rockstars. That's why music is so special, it brings everyone together, even Irish Harry Potter enthusiasts and charming keyboardists with pretty eyes.

memory two

The headache has cleared up but you still feel groggy and confused and so you fall back asleep again, promising yourself that you'll ask after your mum when you wake up again. Because maybe then you'll be able to hear her. There's no such luck when you come to again. Everything is silent and it's too weird to even begin describing. You're confused at first but your mum's tears, your dad's shell-shocked expression and the grim line set around Kinsey's mouth helps you to put the pieces together. There's a kind looking doctor who's writing something on a notepad for you, and you already know what it's going to say before he places it in your lap. You've worked it out. You're deaf. It's as if years fall away from you at that moment. It's hard to reconcile the news with everything you know about yourself. Your whole childhood has been music and now what? That's gone away and you're just meant to be okay with it? How is that fair? With shaking hands, you take the pen from the doctor and write a reply. As soon as your mum reads it, she starts crying again but your dad finds it in himself to smile and he reaches over to squeeze your knee through the hospital bedsheets. He still has that piece of paper which is stupidly sentimental of him and you love him for it. It read: Okay. What's next?

memory three

At first, you were excited. After years of homeschooling, you're finally going to a proper high school and you get to see your dad every day. What's not to love about all of that? However, now that you're in New York, the nerves have started to settle in. What if no one wants to be your friend? What if the kids at school are weird about the deaf thing? What if they try and touch your implant? What if they don't let you join the soccer team even though Kinsey bought you new cleats specifically for that? Most of all, what if Michelle tries to smother you in your sleep? Your dad laughs when you voice that one aloud. "Don't you think you're being a little bit dramatic?" he asks you, fondly smoothing down your hair. You laugh along with him but you aren't so sure. That night at dinner, Michelle spears a meatball with her fork in such an aggressive manner, glaring at you all the while, that you think you're about to faint. No, you don't think you're being dramatic at all.

memory four

"Jess? Jess, are you alright?" At first, you can't even reply. You're too speechless. With shaking hands, you present him with the letter - your CalTech acceptance letter. Your dad cheers at once and he scoops you up into a hug and you think that you could just die of happiness right then and there. You're going to be studying aeronautical engineering. All of the hard work, the late night physics reading, the dedication to science club, the hours spent in your dad's garage understanding engines, the grease and oil covering your hands and your hair and your face. It was all worth it. And now it's one step closer to NASA.

memory five

A heart attack. Your dad isn't even old, and as far as you know he's always had a clean bill of health so what's changed. You stay silent all the way to the hospital and Brendan lets you. When you arrive, Gabby hugs you and even Michelle manages a watery smile your way. Then all four of you are allowed into see him. He's lying in bed, tubes attached to him, but he's sitting upright and he smiles at you, his kids, even if he does look sleepy. Then he cracks some sort of joke and hell if you can remember what it is. But that's what makes you cry. The idea of college goes flying right out the window. He argues with you, naturally. So you lie and tell him you were never that sure about it anyway. He doesn't believe you at first because that career path has been the only thing you've ever been sure about since you were 11-years-old. Maybe you're a good actress because eventually he relents and lets you stay with him. Or maybe, deep down, he's scared to be on his own now too.

4 CRUSHES

1. Tor Eklund

keyboard player for The Corkscrews

has the nicest set of teeth in the world

went through girls like a revolving door according to Kinsey

called you 'little J'

total dreamboat

saw you as a little sister

2. Graham O'Connell

striker for the boys football team in Ireland

had never seen or read Harry Potter but he had floppy hair so you were willing to make allowances

always complimented your football boots

was your first kiss

asked if the two of you could keep in touch when you moved to Canada

messaged you one day to say he'd started watching Harry Potter

you were overjoyed

messaged you again to say he didn't really like Remus Lupin

you well and truly dodged that bullet, didn't you?

3. Amanda Forbes

literally the prettiest girl you've ever seen in your life

was visiting Jasper in the summer with her family

was also a cheerleader

your bisexual awakening

said she wanted to kiss you because she had never kissed a girl before

kissed you lots of times that summer

ghosted you when she left and has a boyfriend now

well, fine then, Amanda

4. Steve Rogers aka Captain America

I mean, you're only bloody human, aren't you?

3 JOBS

1. Neighbourhood Dog Walker

You were fourteen. You needed some money. You loved dogs. It made perfect sense. All the neighbours trusted you to look after their pooches and you made about twenty different canine friends.

2. Apprentice Mechanic

When you told your dad you wanted to be an aeronautical engineer, he said that you needed hands on experience. It helped that he owned an auto shop. Convenient, right? He thought a week working alongside him would help you get to grips with things and prepare you for college. You kept working there for three years. You loved it so much.

3 Aeronatucial Engineer

With your dad on the mend, it doesn’t seem like such a pipe dream anymore. Now you’re at NYU and you feel lucky that they want you to study with them. It’s not CalTech but it’s still one step closer to NASA, and this way you still get to be close to your dad.

2 DOGS

1. Comet

2. Sirius

1 JESS

Bubbly, optimistic, generous, strong-willed, determined, resilient, resourceful, courageous, cheery, nurturing, reckless, stubborn, lacks self-awareness, self-conscious, easily influenced, cares too much about what other people think of her, total Gryffindor, eats too many Oreos, space nerd, deaf, soccer player, cheerleader, dog mom, half-Irish, half-American.

[fvkisla]

hi. I’m v sick at the moment so this should be interesting xD enjoy the sassy sarcasm that is my existence!

PREFERRED NAME — Lo. I really dislike my full name so I shorten that shite.

PRONOUNS — she/her

AGE — as old as time itself if time started 24 years ago.

PINTEREST — okay, I’m a bad rper and female in general and I don’t understand pintrest. like I open it and my face looks like this

DISCORD — it’s historicallo something but again, I’m never on because I suck. 

TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — historicallo.tumblr.com !! I’m never on it but its like an archive of baby Lo

OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — *shamelessly plugs my art instagram* follow loartx !!

MYER-BRIGGS — ENFP-T

HP HOUSE — Ravenpuff all the way

ZODIAC — gemini

DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — YES. I am a gemini through and through (if you think gemini’s are the worst then you are reading trash zodiac shite xD) and I have found my friends and family have lined up quite accurately with that. 

HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — 16! (thought I did roleplay on neopets when I was 12 because I’m fucking cool)

WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — 2012????

NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — notanotherhighschool rp because I feel like that’s when I really fell into my character development. 

WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — FENNEC. FOX. I love them??? I got to hold one once and I cried. I went to see them at the zoo after a hard falling out of a friendship and I cried. they own my heart. his name would be reginald and we would be glorious.

NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — Painkiller by Beach Bunny 🤘🏻

NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — *screams* IT’S A PLAY BUT I LOVE SHE KILLS MONSTERS AND IT’S SO WONDERFUL

NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — lord of the motherfucking flies. kill it.

WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — black mirror. ugh, I love it.

FAVOURITE QUOTE — “though she be but little, she is fierce”

LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — honest x

DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — I got my degree in Creative Writing :3333 I specialize in historical fiction and realistic drama. my medium I specialized in is script/screenwriting yeeet

THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — farfromsubtle (all of those bastards), superraedizzle, booksandlala, safyia nygaard, shane dawson

A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — and IIIIiIiIiIiIIII -HOLY SHIT- will always LoooVvVVe Y O U

EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — no BUT the beach my family has a house at, adrian brody also has a house there so ????

WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — literally watching bootleg theatre shows with friends while drinking and talking about different theatre things until 3 am.

A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — none actually. Idek why that is.

ARE ALIENS REAL? — FUCK YES!! we can’t be alone in this universe ok we simply CANT !!

PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — BITLIFE OWNS MY SOUL

WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — LITTLE FUCKING MERMAID. DON’T GET ME STARTED. I HAVE A THING ABOUT THE LITTLE MERMAID. linday ellis actually did a really good video about the problems with it.

DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — alice in wonderland copies and memorabilia, books, student debt, and fennec fox stuffed animals

WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — except for languages or instruments because I don’t have the dedication, I’m a very much a person who loves to learn. I sometimes research for fun........#nerd

THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — french ( I speak some), sign language (same), japanese (literally know like three words)

MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — coraline. I actually saw it 3 times in theaters and a billion times on dvd.

NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — Beatrice from Much Ado about Nothing and Jo from Little Women

DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — Only college hockey and SUNY OSWEGO BABBBY

HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — video games, reading about and participating in theatre, reading, art, writing, procrastinating on writing, makeup and improv comedy.

PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — BIOSHOCK, BIOSHOCK 2, AND BIOSHOCK INFINITE. THEY MAY BE OLDER BUT UGH. THEY GOOD. also check out farfromsubtle youtube pls and thank. they so goood.

WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — anne boleyn or henry the viii 

TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — team fucking anything else. TEAM SATAN

LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — the new lion king movie. it was meh.

DO YOU STILL READ? — MY ROOM IS OVERTAKEN BY BOOKSHELVES AND I GO TO BARNES AND NOBLE EVERY MONTH. NOT ONLY DO I STILL READ, I HAVE A PROBLEM

IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? —  Salem 1692 which is a day by day account of the witch trials. it’s a big boi. I’ve been reading it on and off since june.

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – a solid 4?

[muvasel-blog]

                  ⊜ ┆✿ ❛ TASK 1 ↝ Q&A W/ 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐄!

“We have a very well known designer here with us today at The Girls Room that I think you’ll all be excited about. Honey, please state your name, age and where you’re from.”

  Thank you for having me! I binge watch this show all the time. My name is Selene Armani, I’m 22 years old and I’m originally from the Dominican Republic. 

“So, we’ve seen the interview with Kross Pryce and apparently Z6NE isn’t the best label to be signed to so tell us, why did you chose Z6NE Entertainment?”

  Listen, I pay attention to the business that pays me. I don’t need to be signed to anyone, but I like having that security + backbone and Z6NE has fit my criteria when searching for these specifics. What anyone else has going on, has nothing to do with me nor will I comment on it. 

“We can respect a queen that minds her’s. Tell us, how has your brand remained true to its aesthetic over the years? Who are your muses?” 

 My brand is very glamour chic. I've always remained true to my aesthetic, but I'm thinking of trying something new this fall. I've been working so hard to keep it a secret, which is so hard for me because I like telling my buyers what's coming, BUT that's also how ideas get stolen, so it's quiet time for me. My muse is Victoria Beckham—she was my favorite Spice Girl because of her sexy outfits. She's always had her own sense of style, which I always found to be so intriguing. I love her even more now because of her chic looks and she's a designer of course! Also, Carrie Bradshaw. I think every girl can relate to Carrie, but I'm not sure that they can relate to her shoe and designer obsession like myself! Carrie had the best silk dresses, I've done a whole collection of silks inspired by her.  

“We can’t wait for that new, new! What inspired you to pick the career you have?” 

 My love for fashion had came to me as a kid, I remember always watching the adults around me and the celebrities on TV dress their ass off and I kept thinking ‘I want to be just like that’, but better. I didn’t just want to buy fly shit to put on, I wanted to make fly shit and then execute it like the bad bitch I always knew I was.

 “A bad bitch you are, girl. Literally my inspo. Do you have any advice for young women looking to start their own business or fashion line like you?” 

 Don't take anything on that you cannot handle— which for some is nothing and others, everything. I think you have to be very selfish to be in this business. Also, don't be afraid to fail. It happens, but you get back up and work 10 times harder. 

“Tell us your biggest pet peeve.” 

 Oou, I have way too many to even choose. One of my mains are people judging my cover. Sometimes I struggle with people taking me seriously based on how I look and dress. My aura is a whole different vibe and my main focus is the bag. The big designer duffel bag, too. Not that lil’ bag y’all be referring to.

“That’s a fact! Never judge a book by it’s cover. What's some other challenge’s that you face in this business?”

  Tsk, what isn’t a challenge in this business? From sexism to racism, people stealing your ideas, copying your work and the list goes on. Like I said, you have to selfish and dedicated.”

 “We feel you, girl. Trust. Now can you tell your fans what they can expect from you in 2019? Then we can wrap this up.” 

Everything. I don’t want to reveal too much, like I said but expect some limited addition pieces. Some shit that’ll be labeled vintage couture because not too many have it.”

@z6ne-rp