#literally have not been able to focus at work since finishing the books bc of this man..... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lochnessies · 4 years ago

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@cockati3l the church isn’t ruling people from behind the scenes. even the devs confirmed that. the church in adrestia doesn’t exist, the church in the alliance is ‘toothless’ and nobody pays attention to them as said by lorenz, and the western church is in open rebellion against the central. also, when does the church control anybody in the game? nobody is forced to follow them and they even take on nonbelievers as staff.

once again, what corruption are you talking about? it can’t be what edelgard mentions in her speech because that’s been proven false.

it can’t be killing the western priests because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af

it can’t be changing history a little because in your own words “what the fuck so u want her to do?” humans killed her race when they found out the amount of power stored in their bones, blood, and hearts. at that time in fodlan’s history clans were fighting for power with the relics of her family and she had to find a way to broker peace as said by intsys: “seiros and co. meddled with history not in order to rule over humans, but to quell the flames of war and chaos as much as possible, and to also keep a steady balance about humanity.”

also yes, rhea was about to step down. she says so herself. even calling herself a “mere proxy” for byleth.

tell me how claude piggybacked off of edelgard’s war to further his own aims? the game tells and shows that he’s spending his time trying to just keep the alliance together.

she’s literally called the hegemon. there is no freedom under her rule. she centralizes all power onto herself and makes herself the supreme ruler. what she says goes and in order to achieve that result she murdered, lied, and stole.

she literally said “i have no regrets.” why? because she doesn’t. she may feel kinda bad about all the dying but obviously not enough to stop what she’s doing and find another path.

also her words about the followers of seiros are far from kind. she calls them “mindless” multiple times (even in her s-support). the faithful are forced to flee from her. people even lose contact with the believers in the empire, and it’s not even allowed to be one in the first place. not to mention in hanneman/manuela’s ending the church can come back but only under the empire’s supervision. so we have a state controlled church. look at all the freedom!

when does dimitri leave crestless people to get fucked? he literally talks at length that he believes that people with crests and people without need to work together and recognize each other’s strengths.

also the church isn’t the one behind the “crest system” (if you can even call it that since the way each house interacts with it is so different). crests/clans became noble houses because of their strength (aka the empire’s meritocracy in the beginning) and the strong aka crest bearers rose to the top bc in the 91 years it took to kill nemesis his elites had already started their own bloodlines and families. the nintendo interview says that rhea lied about the origin of the crests and relics bc she wanted the wars to end and the only way to have gotten rid of the crests humans had would be to genocide them.

with nemesis gone and the adrestian empire now in charge of the continent, a meritocracy started to form among the nobility. hanneman in his support with dorothea says this about the founding of the empire: “consider this. at its inception, the concept of nobility assumed that the greatest among the populace would rise to power. in my mind, i believe that those who value knowledge, those who strive for more, and wish to protect and guide their fellow man. however, in practice, nobility often serves to keep those deemed commoners down, segregated from those who, by chance, were born to a noble family.” this is also paired with ferdiand’s support with edelgard: “certainly, we must recognize the common folk who strive for greatness and attain it. but for those of us born into nobility, things are more complicated. from birth, nobles must excel. if we do not, we will be forced out of our houses. this environment breeds superior individuals, and they, in turn, recreate the rigorous environment for their own children. without that cycle, there would be no political elite guiding the world towards prosperity.” so from these supports we learn that the empire was founded on the idea of the strongest shall rule and they would be replaced if they didn’t reach a standard. however, over time, the nobility started to abuse this power of theirs and the idea of meritocracy was forgotten. which, ironically, is how it always works in the real world as well. that’s where the concept of nobles often bearing crests comes from. it’s comes from the empire not the church. and when faerghus and the alliance break off from it they kept the tradition. also, if you talk to rhea in verdant wind when she talks about zanado you can tell she hates crests. at the very least she hates the fact that humans have them due to how they were acquired. you know, through genocide. it’s also in the book of seiros that the reason the goddess left was because people were abusing crests and it saddened her and she went back to the blue sea star. so no, the church isn’t propagating anything. and they can’t force the noble houses to adhere to their religion so they don’t.

i’m not sure what you mean by “squander any rebellion”. i think you mean squash/stamp out? well the only rebellion we see in the game is from the western church and as i said previously, the priests were punished because they attempted assassination more than once, grave robbed, and attempted to kill students. not to mention are racist af. the church wasn’t the aggressor and only stopped the rebellions because they were dangerous and were also attacking innocent people. however, we do know that in crimson flower there are rebellions under edelgard’s rule and they are put down as well by the empire secret police aka hubert.

the devs also mention that azure moon was written to be a counter to crimson flower. and that is the route where dimitri has to learn to rely on his friends and work together with his people in order to usher in a bright future. in crimson flower edelgard berates people who lean on anybody else for support (all while taking some from byleth) and believes humans need to stand on their own two feet. in azure moon she says: “if after all of this you believe the weak will still be weak, that is only because they are too used to relying on others instead of on themselves.” to which dimitri responds: “yes. perhaps someone as strong as you are can claim something like that. but you cannot force that belief onto others. people aren't as strong as you think they are. there are those who cannot live without their faith... and those who cannot go on once they have lost their reason for living. you path will not be able to save them. it is the path of the strong, and so, it could only benefit the strong.” so yes, there is someone who represents human unity in the game: dimitri.

edelgard doesn’t make fodlan better. she’s the game’s hegemon (called this in three routes). there are rebellions under her. her people are starving (ashe says on cf), she attacked two nations she had no rights to, and defamed an entire race/religion.

crimson flower ends in flames and darkness. this is made VERY clear by the ending mural. unlike the others, which all show a very joyful scene; am has dimitri being loved by the people with archbishop byleth at his side, ss has byleth being held up in the crowd of people as it talks about how they are now the arbiter of every soul and mother of all life (which are the exact words used to describe sothis), and vw has claude talking with the people and the almyrans are visiting; which infers peace between the two nations. however in cf, we have edelgard standing on the flags of the nations she has conquered. she holds a napoleonic staff in her hands, and the mural portrays people with their heads bowed in obvious sadness and defeat. the biggest indicator that this is not an ending to be celebrated, but rather lamented, is the border. In all the other endings, the border is white and is accented by the color of the route. in cf you can see that the border is black. black and red: colors synonymous with evil or darkness. the epilogue also mentions rebellions against her rule that she has put down.

edelgard’s role in the story is that of nemesis 2.0. someone that is manipulated by twsitd and is fed false information to lead her to finish what nemesis started over a thousand years ago - the extinction of the nabatean race.

another massive red flag is what the devs have said about crimson flower being the supreme ruler route. “edelgard in "crimson fower", or rather known as the, "supreme ruler (hegemon) route" is something we honestly meant to be much more difficult to enter.” (they were talking about why it is harder to enter cf than ss). let’s focus on the word ‘hegemon’. the direct definition is ‘a supreme ruler.’ in another interview they mention the ‘hegemon’s path’ which is a chinese philosophy that goes along with the mandate of heaven that the devs have said that they based cf off of. there is a rule of the mandate of heaven: the right to rule is only granted if the ruler cares about his people more than he cares about himself, and if this is not the case, then the people rise up to overthrow the tyrant. we know for a fact that edelgard is this ‘tyrant/hegemon’ because she is called this in the game.

the devs have also said: “due to all the previous titles in the series, the thought/impression that the empire = antagonists is left upon the playerbase. when you think about the "empire", you usually get some sort of "bad/evil" image, i think. and as for the story, it really feels like it started from the romance of three kingdoms, but we force them all to take part in school life. In other words, a period in which there was peace must exist, before starting the fires of war. and because of that, someone evil (villain) has to exist, and so we had the empire bear that burden.” this interview also blew the common argument pro-empire fans had of fodlan not being at peace at the start of the game. they said themselves that the three countries were at peace. even the game states at the start that ‘these three ruling powers now exist in relative harmony.’

also even if other characters did some things wrong that doesn’t suddenly let her off the hook for her actions just like her’s don’t nullify theirs. if she wanted to peacefully change how things worked in her nation then fine. i don’t care. however, she invaded two other independent nations in order to change their systems and put them under her control. that isn’t morally gray no matter how you spin it. it’s tyrannical.

actually it was humans as a whole who fucked up the earth first. the agarthans are a race of humans that have been around for over a thousand years at the start of the game. when the goddess sothis came down from her home on the blue sea star she arrived in fodlan and took on a form that resembled humanity and lived among them. she used her blood to birth a race of children called nabateans. in the beginning, these two nations lived in harmony.

sothis and her children helped the humans advance their technology and weapons over time until the humans’ hubris grew to the point that they began to wage war on each other and eventually the goddess herself - the one who gave them the technology to do so. as confirmed by seteth, (who was there during that time) some of the weapons they used in the war are also seen in the game, such as the missile of light that destroys fort merceus. so basically, it was a ye olde nuclear war that almost completely destroyed the land and the humans. during this, a faction of humans left the surface to live below ground. they built a city called shambala and officially became known as agarthans. back on the surface, sothis used her godly power to try and heal the earth. however, due to the incredible damage done by the weapons, so much of her power was used that she fell into a deep sleep to try and recover. so no, sothis didn’t fuck shit up. it was the arrogant humans that took her kindness and decided they wanted to try and kill each other with it.

yes, dimitri and claude do have the rest of fodlan under their command at the end of the day. however, they way they achieved this was nothing like edelgard’s. they had no intentions of starting a war to unite the three under their rule. dimitri was given the alliance (the round table came to an agreement and willingly became part of faerghus) and when he kills edelgard the empire is now, by default his whether he likes it or not. same with claude. he defeats the empire which by that point had taken the kingdom. both are now without leadership and he doesn’t even stay. he fucks off to almyra. edelgard on the other hand started the war to put all of fodland back under her rule. it’s not comparable.

#i had to use tiny text to try and make this smaller lmao #mine

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jasonmantzoukas · 4 years ago

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do you have any ben/leslie headcanons! i love your posts abt them so much it's great to see someone get as emotional abt them as i am asjdkajhjd

i got this message and i was like "god, i dont really know if i have any headcanons" and then i opened my notes app and started typing and didn't stop for over an hour

i'm literally putting this under a break and organizing it into categories bc it's absurdly long

here it is

A COLLECTION OF BEN AND LESLIE HEADCANONS

PRE-RELATIONSHIP/S3

basically canon but leslie definitely had a crush on a young benji wyatt and followed the story religiously for the first couple months before she started college

ben is only slightly jealous leslie had ann go out with chris to try and get more money for the parks budget rather than leslie asking him out with the same goal. he knows it’s insane, unethical, and illogical but he’s still excited that he gets to spend the night with her on a date plus two other people even if it is to accuse her of bribery.

ann realizes early on that leslie was attracted to ben and teases her mercilessly about it. she thinks it’s absolutely hilarious that leslie wants to make out with "mean ben.” after april and andy’s wedding, she realizes it's more than just attraction and she lays off.

before ben can even think rationally about what he’s doing, he’s in line at bed, bath, and beyond with a crock pot in his arms, calling stephanie to ask her to send him their family’s chicken soup recipe

ann knew ben liked her from the beginning and was totally positive when she ran into him in the hospital asking for leslie’s room number while holding jj’s waffles and a tub of homemade soup.

ben realizes he’s falling in love with leslie when he is at city hall with her until 3am one night trying to budget for the amount of cotton candy machines she wants for the harvest festival. in his exhaustion, he naively believes her when she tells him she’ll go home in a bit so he leaves. he never gets a text from saying she made it home so he stops at jj’s the next morning and brings a takeout container of waffles and a coffee complete with an outlandish amount of whipped cream and sugar to the parks department. he finds her asleep in the conference room. he starts trying to convince sweetums to donate more cotton candy machines that afternoon.

chris had to have known ben liked leslie. he’s not an idiot. in the deleted scene from their wedding, they read out emails from their “tumultuous first week in pawnee” and chris writes to ben saying, “why are you so focused on leslie knope?” ben replies saying, “i’m not. whatever. shut up.” there’s no way chris is this oblivious. ben takes her out for a beer. ben pays out of pocket for a children’s performer to help her out. ben shows up on chris and ann’s date just because he thinks leslie might be there. chris can’t be this dumb. but when they take the city manager jobs in pawnee, he knows it can’t happen so he cuts ben off when he starts to ask about dating someone in city hall. he cracks down on the rule in front of leslie after the tom incident to hammer it in. he starts setting ben up on a bunch of dates to try and head it off. he sends them to indianapolis for the little league pitch because, realistically, he knows they’re the best bet for success but makes sure to interrupt their dinner and invites them to his apartment to continue to run interference the rest of the night. after their fights in 4.06-4.08, he hopes he won’t have to worry anymore. the next work day, they come into his office looking nervous and happy and he knows he’s about to lose the partner and best friend that’s been by his side for the past decade.

april and andy knew they were secretly dating. it went unspoken aside from a few implicit teasing remarks from april and a few suggestive attempted high fives from andy but leslie assured ben they wouldn’t tell anyone despite their ostensible behavior.

BREAK UP

ben had commissioned the li’l sebastian plush for leslie after he had died but the toy shop didn’t finish it until after they broke up. he felt bad not going to pick it up so he did despite not being able to give it to her. he kept it for all those months and sometimes thought about getting rid of it but could never bring himself to do it.

when leslie made personalized copies her books for her friends with individualized annotations and notes in the bylines, she had two copies for ben. there was one that she gave him during their breakup that was very simplified and watered down where the note basically just said “i’m really glad you decided to stay in pawnee.” then there was a second copy that she kept while they were split up that was totally covered in notes and random thoughts she couldn’t say during their time apart. she gives him that copy when they get back together and it may or may not be the best gift he’s ever received.

april was much less abrasive with them during the break up because she’s a sweetheart and wants her friends to be happy.

the first time leslie admitted she was in love with him was during a long night of drinking and crying at ann’s house

ben craved the taste of sugar during their breakup because he got used to tasting the sweetness when he kissed her

ben found himself unable to sleep at night without the sound of leslie talking in her sleep to comfort him

april texted leslie the night of the halloween party to let her know that ben and andy were at the hospital after a fight and everything was fine and she didn’t need to worry. leslie was mad at andy for a few days after and he couldn’t figure out why.

the only photo in ben’s bedroom was of himself, leslie, and li’l sebastian at the harvest festival. if he got caught staring at it and crying, he would just say he missed li’l sebastian so much.

april and andy started having star wars and star trek movie nights to try and cheer ben up

DOMESTIC

ben and leslie got in the habit of having weekly game nights with april and andy during the campaign since they were all basically living together. it became a tradition that kept going as often as they could make it happen, even after the kids were born. they try to have game night at least once a month. april pretends to hate it.

one of my absolute favorite ideas about them is that she sleeps much better when he’s around to keep her grounded. after they get together for good, she starts getting closer to 5 hours of sleep a night.

another favorite involving leslie’s sleeping: ben is typically accustomed to tuning out incoherent nonsense that she babbles in her sleep but she also has some of her best ideas when she’s not busy trying to focus on a million different things. when he hears her coming up with legitimately good ideas or making speeches or having solid debate arguments, he takes out the notebook he keeps in his nightstand to record her thoughts and quotes. he revisits and revises the notes to strengthen her statements and make them more professional and less rambling but makes sure to keep her distinct voice apparent in them.

ben prefers pancakes to waffles but he will go to the grave with that secret

this isn’t a headcanon because nbc posted it but one of ben’s holidays on leslie’s calendar is watch synchronization day which is the day they celebrate syncing their watches to, as leslie puts it, “always be in harmony, like our hearts” which is just one of the sweetest fucking things in the world

leslie makes ben read and watch all the harry potters because he didn’t get into them when he first tried. ben is much more of a success than ann. she buys him a ravenclaw scarf for christmas.

their first fight as a couple was a historical debate gone awry

since ben clearly has some affinity for custom stuffed animals, he has some made for the triplets.

they’re both dog people but they adopt a cat because sonia and stephen beg for one and it does fit their busy lifestyle much better. they love the cat. they get a dog when the kids are older and life is slightly less hectic.

they both love striped shirts and sweaters so much that they have to make a conscious effort to avoid wearing them on the same day and matching

leslie makes sweets and bakes desserts while ben typically handles cooking the actual meals

BASED ON EPISODES, QUOTES, AND THROWAWAY LINES

i always loved the ann/ben dynamic in bus tour because there’s been such an obvious shift in ann’s attitude towards him in this episode. maybe it’s because she and tom just broke up and she just turned chris down again and she’s frustrated with relationships but i think it’s her realizing ben isn’t going anywhere. since the campaign is winding down, she realizes that things aren’t gonna go back to the way they were because ben is now part of this and he’s clearly in it for the long haul. ann’s definitely jealous that ben is just as important to leslie as she is and she now knows she’s never gonna get that full attention back. ann sits ben down to have a real “don’t you dare hurt her” speech after this ep and before win, lose, or draw. this is when he tells ann he wants to marry her.

they discover they both adore the princess bride after ben says “as you wish” to her one night and after that it becomes their movie.

the wildflower mural becomes a thing between them when ben says he considered that to be their first date, prompting leslie to tell him what the mural means to her.

ben puts banjo boogie bonanza on one of the mix cds he gives leslie at the beginning of their relationship

harrison ford movie nights start after they both reveal they had a crush on him as a kid. ben was obsessed with han solo and leslie was into indiana jones’ whole history teacher vibe.

they basically hate each other’s taste in music and stop exchanging mix cds once that becomes apparent that they aren’t gonna find much common ground. they both love tom petty, al green, and etta james and music in that vein though.

ben makes leslie watch game of thrones just to try to explain why he’s called her khaleesi. she gets into it, not so much because of the show itself, but because of how passionate her boyfriend is about it.

they start learning basic french during the s4 campaign because they think it will be useful to have a basic multilingual vocabulary for their political careers and because leslie confesses she has always dreamed of seeing paris. they study spanish next.

ben makes leslie watch the star wars prequels just so he can complain to her during them. he doesn’t think she’s paying attention and then he reads about midichlorians in the paper.

ann is also in on ben’s plan to sneak vegetables into leslie’s waffles.

they will sometimes jokingly refer to themselves as the “dream team” or “dynamic duo” because, despite chris’s absurdity, it’s true

i’m open to literally any origin of this because no matter what it’s perfect but i like to think that “i love you and i like you” started at some point in season 4 when, at some point, leslie went “i like you” and ben replied “you like me?” “mhm” “hm just like me?” “yes i like you. i love you and i like you. both.” “mmm i love you and i like you too”

i barely even register some of these things as headcanons since they just live so solidly in my brain

this might be my favorite ask ever thank you for loving benslie enough to ask me this and be genuinely interested

if anyone read all of this, i love you

#most of me loves you for sending this ask but i just procrastinated so much work while writing this #ben x leslie #otp: deeply ridiculously #cherubsona #mail #this is truly absurdly long no one is gonna read this

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hannahchuu · 5 years ago

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I was tagged by @makeitpoppy 💕😍

Are you staying at home from work/school?

So, I haven't been to work since beginning of March but I have to go back there next week (for now it's just a meeting bc I'm working in a hotel & my schedule depends on the amount of guests we have). I've been really happy about that tho bc I still get paid & just before the pandemic happend, I got really overwhelmed by my work & started to hate it a lot. I also had some issues with a colleague & I dread having to see her again. I had really wished that I wouldn't have to go back there anytime soon.

University has also been cancelled after only one regular week & I only have online classes now. Tbf tho, I would've only had one class overall this semester bc I'm in my last semester of university & only my master's thesis is left. My only class is a Japanese conversation class, which is online now & I'm really struggling with the format lol. It's so odd to have to talk to people when you can't see them & half the time you also can't hear them properly.

As for my master's thesis...at first I was fine with quarantine & uni being cancelled bc I thought it'd give me time to focus on my thesis but unexpectedly libraries also closed for two months & I wasn't able to get any books until beginning of May. So I basically didn't do anything at home ahaha.

If you’re at home, who is there with you?

No one. My mum used to be there occasionally but she has since gone to her boyfriend's house and rarely ever comes. (Which is totally fine btw. She really stresses me out lol)

Do you have pets to keep you company?

No 💔

Who do you miss the most?

I have social anxiety so I'm actually quite happy about not having to see anyone. I also feel like I talk (via phone) to my friends & family way more often now. I do however, miss certain activities like going shopping with my friends. Oh & hugs! I also miss my sister & her girlfriend bc it's always fun being around them. And I miss the people in my Japanese class. Online classes really take away the social aspects of it (Like talking with people before & after).

When was the last time you left your home?

Yesterday! I went to the supermarket bc my fridge was v v empty. The last time I left to go somewhere else was last Thursday when I went to the library.

What was the last thing you bought?

The last thing I bought in person was food. Last online purchase were face masks (as in sheet masks) ahaha.

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

I'm sort of relaxed? Like more relaxed than usual I think. I'm a bit stressed out about my future bc I'm right at the end of my university education & I actually planned to finish my thesis & get a full-time job by the end of the year but I'm not sure whether there will still be jobs or job interviews ahahah. My thesis also stresses me out a bit. But I think all of this would've also stressed me out w/o quarantine so overall I'm relaxed. I'm getting stressed out by the prospect of going back to work tho.

Are you a homebody?

Yessssss

What movies have you watched recently?

So I was planning on watching tons of films during quarantine but I haven't watched any so far ahahah

I mainly watch anime & YouTube

An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

Two anime conventions I've been going to religiously with my friends T_T

What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

My Japan trip. It would've been my very first trip to Japan but a week before we were due to leave Austria issued a travel warning for all countries. Later on all tourists arriving in Japan also had to quarantine themselves for 2 weeks. I was super upset about having to cancel it but also sort of relieved bc I wouldn't have wanted to go there in the middle of a pandemic. I also got all of my money refunded so yay.

What’s the best thing you had to cancel?

Any kind of social interaction and work ahahhahaha

Do you have any new hobbies?

Not really. Before I started working on my thesis, I studied Japanese more frequently but that's about it.

What are you out of?

Skincare! I put off ordering any new items bc I was supposed to go to Japan & I thought I could just buy everything there. Well, now I'm out of toner, essence, a good cleanser and face masks :(( I ended up ordering more at the end of March but my order still hasn't arrived yet (It's stuck at customs T____T)

What music are you listening to?

Mainly German Hip-Hop ahahah

What shows are you watching?

Soooo, I've literally watched 7 anime series so far:

Chobits

Kimagure Orange Road

Yuru Camp (my favourite)

Sabagebu!

Citrus

Fullmetal Alchemist

Asobi Asobase

So yeah, quite productive! I gotta focus on my thesis now tho so I’ve only been sporadically watching Ojamajo Doremi.

What are you reading?

My only goal for this quarantine was to finally read all of the books that have been piling up on my bedside table, which I did yay

I've read The Scarlet Letter, The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea (I recommend), The Moon over the Mountain, UFO In Her Eyes (I can also recommend) & In Dreams Begin Responsibilities and Other Stories.

I got 3 more books for my birthday (Poems To Fix A Fucked Up World, Japanese Tales of Mystery and Imagination & Roadqueen), which I haven't gotten around to reading yet.

What are you doing for self care?

Taking long baths & reading in the bath tub 💕 I also apply lash serum, a lip mask & body lotion every night.

Are you exercising?

Yes! I actually started exercising everyday in September & I'm still doing it yay

How’s your toilet paper supply?

I still have enough left ahahah I was supposed to be quarantined w my mum but I ended up being by myself & I don’t need a lot.

Have you made any changes to your hair?

Not yet. I've been considering getting bangs & the only thing that (luckily) is stopping me is that one tumblr post that's like you don't need bangs! you need therapy!!!!

I tag @lunarix @swaddle @motherfuckinbuddha @ive-beendreaming @kaizoku @piggiechi @regenbogen-flummi @misodelivery @vroomkat @zyphyyr @my-selfish-love @giantoflight @frillypinkdreams @catpacks @cupidie @emograntaire @sugarmickey @bubbleteaboy & everyone else who wants to do this

#text #personal #i'm so bad at tagging ppl lol #i literally just tagged my mutuals

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capcarolsdanver · 6 years ago

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Crush

Request: I also have an idea for Kate x r: r is new at school and is kind of adopted by the friend group, starts crushing on kate, is super sad tho bc r assumes kate is straight and hooking up with whatever guy and closes herself off from kate, until kate realises what's going on and how she feels about r and goes on to confront r…

Pairing: Kate x Reader

A/N: Sorry for the long wait!! This week I had absolutely no motivation and every time I sat down to write nothing was coming to me. It’s the worst when I really want to write my requests for you guys as quickly as I can but I literally feel stuck and so uninspired to write sometimes. As always, feedback is appreciated!

Requests are still temporarily closed!!

(gif originally posted by @dianas-shortgalpal)

You sit down at an empty table in the dining hall with your breakfast. You arrived at Tanner Hall late the previous day, and so you still haven’t really met any of your fellow classmates. You don’t mind, having been kind of a loner at your previous school, so you open the book you brought with you while you eat your breakfast.

People start to fill the other tables in the dining hall and it’s not too long after that you hear a voice.

“Hey.” You look up towards the voice and see two girls sitting at the table next to you. They both wear friendly smiles on their faces. “You’re new here?”

“I am, yeah,” you reply. The girls share a quick silent look before turning back to you.

“Why don’t you come sit over here with us?” The girl with the dark brown hair says. You look at them in surprise. “If you want to,” she adds on after a moment of silence.

“Yeah,” you nod, closing your book and grabbing your tray to sit opposite the girls.

“My name is Y/N by the way,” you say with a smile as you sit.

“I’m Fernanda, but I prefer Fern. This is Lucasta,” the girl with the darker hair replies.

“Feel free to call me Lu, though. It’s nice to me you,” the other girl smiles at you. The three of you sit and talk for a little while, getting to know each other a little bit and chatting about your old school before a blonde haired girl drops into the chair next to you, startling you.

“God, messing with Mr Middlewood is so much fun,” she chuckles. Fern and Lu laugh and both roll their eyes at their friend.

“Yeah, I don’t think yesterday’s whole shower thing will be forgotten any time soon,” Fern says and the blonde laughs. She seems to suddenly realise that her group of friends has an additional member as she faces you and lets her eyes look you over.

“And who do we have here?”

“Oh, this is Y/N! She’s new,” Lu introduces you.

“Well I’m Kate. It’s nice to meet you.” She says and holds her hand out towards you. You get lost for a moment staring back into her eyes before you realise what you’re doing, quickly taking her hand in yours to shake it.

“Yes. Right. Uh, nice to meet you too,” you manage to stutter out and Kate smirks at you as she releases your hand.

“So anyway, what did you do to Middlewood now?” Lu asks and Kate chuckles.

“Nothing more than usual. It’s just too easy to get a reaction from him.” She looks over to where you sit, still trying to shake off whatever you’ve been feeling since Kate sat down next to you. She looks down at your tray and points at the blueberry muffin you’ve left untouched.

“Were you gonna eat that?” You shake your head and push the tray a little towards her.

“It’s all yours.” Kate smiles at you and picks up the muffin. Somewhere in the background you’re aware that Fern and Lu are speaking, but you lose the ability to focus on anything else as you watch Kate’s fingers peeling the muffin liner off, and you can’t help but watch as she breaks off a piece of the muffin and brings it to her mouth.

You snap yourself out of the daydream you’ve found yourself to rejoin the conversation.

“We can hang out in mine and Fern’s room tonight,” Lu says. “Y/N, you can come hang out too.” You agree and shyly smile. It felt good to finally know you had people who seemed to like having you around.

------------------------

It’s been a few weeks and you’re amazed at how you’ve managed to become such close friends with these girls already.

It’s become routine for you and your friends to hang out most nights after you were all done with your school work. Kate often brings her work with her to hang out with you or one of your other friends beforehand, saying she gets too bored working on her own, and you always let her, glad to be able to spend time with her.

Victoria also likes to show up when you’re all hanging out. You wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for the jabs she’d always throw at Fern and the fact that Lu and Kate seem thrilled by every stupid idea she comes up with. You and Fern always shoot each other glances when she’s talking about doing whatever rebellious act she’s come up with.

You sit by the windowsill and watch Kate apply makeup to Fern’s face while Lu sketches at her desk. Kate leans back to look at Fern and nods in approval.

“Hey, Y/N. Come over here,” she calls to you and you hesitate slightly before standing and walking over to where Kate’s rummaging through her makeup bag. “I think this colour will go great with your eyes.” She grabs out an eyeliner pencil and steps closer to you.

“Get used to this. She does it a lot,” Fern laughs as she moves to sit on her bed. You try to laugh too, despite the internal panic you feel when Kate gently grabs your face with her hand to steady you.

You try to keep your breathing even and hope that Kate doesn’t notice your increased heart rate as she finishes with the eyeliner. She puts the eyeliner down and leans back, smiling at you as her eyes study your face.

“Okay I was right. You look hot.” You feel your cheeks immediately burn and you try to duck your head. Kate picks up some lipstick and holds it out for you. “Now put this on.”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” You mumble and Kate rolls her eyes playfully at you.

“Oh, please. Live a little, won’t you?” She steadies your face with her hand again and looks down to your lips as she applies the colour to them. When she’s done, her eyes stay on your lips for a moment before they look back up into yours.

“There,” she speaks softly and you’re not sure if you imagine the shy expression on her face and the tension that fills the air between the two of you. “You look beautiful.”

Before you can respond, Victoria barges into the room and successfully ruins whatever moment you think could have been happening between you and Kate.

“Kate, pass me that lip colour. I’m going to get the school key from Peter today so I have to look my best.”

“Wait, you were serious about that?” Fern questions as Kate hands her the lipstick.

“Of course I was. We’ve got to have a little fun and rebellion while we’re here, don’t we?” You and the other girls all look between each other, and when she’s met with silence, Victoria looks up from the mirror and raises her eyebrows at you with an exasperated look.

“Come on.” She smirks at Kate and steps closer to her. “Kate. It’s your senior year. Surely you want to have a little fun, right?” It only takes a few seconds before Kate is nodding and grinning in Victoria’s direction.

“Yeah, if you get the key we’ll go.” Victoria squeals in excitement before practically running out of the room. Kate turns back around to face you all again, offering Fern a sheepish grin when the other girl glares at her lightly.

“You really want me to get expelled during my first semester here, huh?” Kate chuckles and even Fern giggles a little and shakes her head.

“It’ll work out fine,” Lu reassures you from her seat at her desk.

“Hey, maybe if we go to the fair we’ll see the guys from the all boys school,” Kate beams as she wiggles her eyebrows. “You know I love it when we run into them.” You’ve heard a lot of these kind of comments about guys from Kate over the last few weeks, but it still makes your heart sink every time.

“I swear you’re the horniest person in this entire school,” Fern jokes and Kate shrugs.

“What can I say? I know what I like.”

You head back to where you’d been sitting near Lu before. You let out a quiet sigh and try to ignore the conversation that continues, zoning out as you stare blankly at the floor. You miss the way Lu looks from you to Kate, a curious look on her face.

------------------------

You’re completely lost in your daydream as you rest your head on your hand, staring at Kate from your seat near the back of the classroom. Recognising that you have a pretty heavy crush on someone you consider a close friend, you’d decided to try to distance yourself slightly from Kate, at least until you can figure out what the hell to do to deal with your feelings. But you still continued to catch yourself with your eyes glued to her, watching her every move.

This time, though, you’re shaken from your daydream when Lu nudged you from the seat next to you. You quickly take your eyes from Kate and look to Lu.

“You okay?” She speaks in a hushed tone, trying not to gain any attention from the class.

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” You try to offer a convincing smile but she clearly doesn’t buy it.

“Really? ‘Cause I swear you haven’t taken your eyes off Kate the entire lesson.”

Your cheeks immediately turn red and you clear your throat, trying to gather your thoughts.

“No I haven’t.” Lu shoots you an incredulous look and a teasing smile shows up on her face.

“Oh yeah? What has Mr Middlewood been going on about this entire lesson, then?”

“Uh.” You glance quickly around the classroom, trying to find anything that will give you the answer but finding nothing. “Shakespeare?”

“Not even close.” You sigh and Lu’s eyes soften as she continues to watch you. “What’s on your mind?” You hesitate to speak and let your gaze settle back on Kate for another moment.

“The guys Kate was talking about. She’s with one of them?” You try to speak nonchalantly but you’re not entirely sure how convincingly you’re pulling it off.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I’ve seen her fool around with one of them a few times at some parties we’ve gone to, but I don’t think they’re actually together.”

“Right.” You nod and feel any hope you had left completely vanish. Lu studies you a little longer as you stare at your desk and your brow furrows slightly, completely lost in thought.

“You like her, don’t you?” She presents it as a question, though when your eyes snap up to meet hers you have a feeling she’s figured it all out anyway.

“What? No!” You speak in a defensive tone, much louder than you had intended, and almost the entire class turns to face you at your outburst. You try to make yourself appear smaller, offering Mr Middlewood an apologetic smile before he continues his lesson.

Shorty after, the bell rings and you stand up. Lu places a hand on your arm to get your attention.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. We don’t have to talk about it. But you know I’m here if you decide you want to, okay?” You see Kate starting to make her way over to you and Lu, so you quickly grab your things and look back to Lu.

“Okay.” You smile and nod at her. “I will. Thanks Lu.” She nods and lets you leave before Kate reaches your seat.

------------------------

Your interactions with Kate go kind of like this over the next few days. If you’re in a group setting, you tend to sit away from Kate, as much as you really would like to sit right next to her. If Kate asks to come by your room to study with you, you always come up with some excuse for her not to, and you’ve even gotten yourself out of some group plans too. Though very likely irrational, you figure it’s the best decision to keep your distance until your feelings fade.

On the day you're all meant to sneak out to the fair using the key Victoria had, the possibility of running into those guys comes to mind and you really try to get out of going.

“You absolutely have to come with us,” Lu says. You’re in your room, sitting on your bed while Fern sits at the chair by your desk and Lu stands.

“Yeah,” Fern says. “I’m meant to be helping Peter with his paper, so if they’re making me come then you have to as well.” You look at both of them as Kate and Victoria walk in through your open door. Kate leans on your desk and Victoria stands by the door.

“Well? Are we ready to go?” She looks at you all impatiently and Fern and Lu shoot you a look before you let out a sigh, standing.

“Yeah, let’s go.” You grab your jacket and you all head out, sneaking out of the building easily and starting the walk down the long road towards the fair.

“Hey.” You turn your head to find Kate walking beside you. She offers you a smile, which you return. “Where’ve you been hiding lately?”

“Oh, I’ve been around.” It feels wrong to not talk to Kate in the usual way you would, but she just seems glad to be talking to you now, smiling even wider at you before bumping her shoulder into yours lightly.

“Well, we’ve missed you.” You continue to walk side by side and you let yourself smile at Kate’s words.

When you reach the fair, you all grow more excited and you actually let yourself have some fun with your friends. Of course, this doesn’t as long as you’d hoped, as you hear Kate squeal in excitement before she’s running towards a group of boys. You and the other girls follow her and when she jumps at one of the guys and kisses him you try to act as unaffected as possible.

They decide to run off to the ferris wheel, leaving everyone else behind. You had already at some point lost Victoria and Fern makes it obvious that she wants to go off on her own somewhere too as she backs away from you and Lu, so you both wave her off and Lu turns to you.

“We should probably go make sure she’s gonna be okay over there.” She tilts her head in the direction of the ferris wheel and you sigh and nod at her begrudgingly. By the time you two stand in front of the ferris wheel, Kate is already cheering and yelling across the fair and you look up as the guy next to her pulls her closer and they kiss again.

“So that’s the guy, huh?” You struggle to keep your tone light as you watch the scene before you.

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” You shrug a shoulder and laugh dryly. “Of course the girl I like has to be straight.”

“Yeah. I think I kinda know that feeling too.” Your head turns fast as you look at Lu, and she just shrugs at you before explaining. “I’ve been finding out some stuff about myself recently too, I think. I’m sure you get it.” She gestures back towards the ferris wheel where Kate is cheering again, and you can’t help the smile that grows on your face at the sound of her laughter.

“You really like her,” Lu observes and you let out a deep sigh.

“Not that it matters.” You see some tables not far from you and point towards them. “Should we sit down and wait? We’ve clearly got a lot to discuss about you, too.” You smirk at her when she suddenly gets nervous and the two of you make your way to one of the tables.

------------------------

You and Lu are given a good amount of time to sit and talk before Kate comes over, stumbling as she stops in front of the table.

“Hey there, pretty ladies,” she says in greeting, slumping down into an empty chair and grinning widely.

“Oh god, Kate. How much did you end up drinking and smoking?” Lu wears a tired expression, probably already preparing herself for the walk home and getting Kate back into the school safely and quietly in her state.

“Mm, I don’t know.” Kate scrunches her forehead in thought for a moment before a cheeky grin takes over her face. “But, god, I forgot how great a kisser he is. We need to sneak out more often.” She bites her lip as you assume she thinks about the boy whose tongue was just down her throat, and it’s enough for you to abruptly stand up. Both Lu and Kate look at you.

“I’m gonna go find Fern and Victoria so we can head back.” Lu gives you a sad kind of smile and nods and you turn and walk away.

Thankfully Fern and Victoria were already walking together in search of you, so it didn’t take long before you were all walking backwards the school. Unfortunately for all of you, the weather decided to mirror what you were feeling, and so it absolutely poured as you all shuffled together miserably along the side of the road.

“Kate, stop walking out onto the road. No one’s going to stop for us.” Lu pulls Kate back to the side of the road, having already done so several times. Kate pouts and huffs heavily as she falls into step next to you.

“God, this is miserable,” you hear her mumble before she presses herself into your side and you let her for a moment, quietly enjoying the warmth she brings.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” you mutter, gently moving yourself away from her body. At the sudden loss of warmth, she looks to you in question.

“Are you okay?” She eventually asks. You keep your eyes facing straight ahead and you nod dismissively.

“Yeah.”

Kate opens her mouth to speak again but Lu obviously picks up on what’s going on, slotting herself between you and Kate and allowing you room to walk next to Fern. She offers you a reassuring smile that you aren’t quite expecting from her and then grabs your arm so you can both provide each other some warmth, walking in this position the rest of the way back.

------------------------

The next morning you’re sitting in the dining hall with Lu and Fern, finishing up with your breakfast when Kate takes the seat next to you.

“God, I think I’m paying for last night a little,” she runs a hand through her messy hair and picks up the mug that’s sitting on her tray. “This coffee better bring me back to life.” Before the conversation of last night can even continue, you stand up and grab your empty tray.

“Alright girls, I’m out of here.” You wave and begin to walk away before Kate pulls the mug away from her lips and calls your name to stop you.

“Did you want to maybe hang out later and watch a movie or something? It’s been a while.” She looks hopeful and you come close to saying yes, but instead force a smile onto your face.

“Uh, I’ve got a paper I really need to work on. Maybe some other time?” Her face drops a little and she nods at you as you turn to leave.

Kate turns to Lu and Fern who are both sitting silently.

“What’s up with her? She’s been acting so weird the last few days.” Kate pouts and looks at her friends, who both share a glance. “What?”

“Nothing.” Kate eyes her friends suspiciously.

“Okay, well that was an obvious lie. What is it?” Lu bites her lip, clearly unsure of what to do. “Come on, Lu.” She sighs and shoots a light glare at Kate.

“Okay, fine. Don’t tell her I told you this.” She pauses and Kate gestures for her to continue talking. “Y/N kinda has a pretty major crush on you so I think she’s just trying to distance herself a bit so she can deal with it,” Lu blurts out and Kate’s eyes widen at her.

“Wait. Y/N has a crush on me?”

“Uh, yeah dude. It’s pretty obvious. Even I figured it out,” Fern chuckles and Kate furrows her brow and blinks.

“I didn’t even know she was into girls,” she mumbles to herself. “But I don’t get it, that’s why she’s been acting weird with me?”

“Well, yeah.” Lu shrugs one shoulder at Kate as if it should have been obvious. “I mean, you’ve talked about guys almost non-stop, and you hooked up with that guy last night. She’s just trying to spare her own feelings by having some distance from you.”

Kate tilts her head. “What do you mean? How will that spare her feelings?”

“Well, you’re straight. So she knows you can’t reciprocate her feelings.” A beat of silence falls over the table and all three girls feel the weight of it. “Wait. You are straight, right?”

------------------------

You sit in Mr Middlewood’s class next to Lu, trying to focus on the lesson. ‘Trying’ being the keyword. You’ve caught Kate more than a handful of times trying to subtly look at you over her shoulder. Again, ‘trying’ being the keyword. She definitely wasn’t the most subtle person you’ve ever met.

“What’s she doing?” You whisper when you catch her gaze again before she quickly looks away.

Lu looks up from her book. “What’s who doing?”

“Kate. She keeps looking over here. Plus, I swear I haven’t heard her flirt with Mr Middlewood once this whole lesson.”

“Oh. I hadn’t noticed.” Kate looks over yet again and looks back the other way, and you continue to watch her in confusion.

“See. She just did it again.” Lu remains silent and a thought suddenly hits you. “You didn’t tell her, did you?” You look at Lu and she instantly becomes a stuttering mess, avoiding your eyes.

“Um..”

“Lu! Are you serious!” You hiss, avoiding calling attention to yourself in the middle of class again.

“I’m sorry!” Lu tries. “She knew something was up so-“

“So you just told her? Oh my god.” You drop your face in your hands and thankfully hear the bell ring, standing and grabbing your books. You completely avoid looking in Kate’s direction again.

“I’ll see you later?” Lu asks hopefully with a sheepish smile on her face.

“We’ll see. I haven’t decided if I’m gonna kill you or not yet.” You glare at her as you walk away but you both know you likely won’t stay mad at her for long. Trying to dart through the hallway as quickly as you can, you’re stopped by a hand on your elbow and you turn to find exactly who you weren’t really wanting to see right now.

“Y/N.” Kate says carefully.

“Uh, hey Kate.” Her hand stays on your arm, but she brings it further down to your forearm.

“Are you headed to your room?” You nod. “Mind if I walk you?” She smiles at you, but you note that it lacks the playful kind of confidence her smiles usually carry.

You hesitate for a moment but decide you might as well have whatever conversation you need to have with her and get it over with.

“Uh, sure.” She nods gratefully to you and drops her hand from your arm as you begin to walk side by side towards your room. As you walk, the continued silence between the two of you makes you increasingly more nervous, going over scenarios in your head of what Kate might want to talk to you about.

Reaching your door, you turn to Kate who still hasn’t said a word since you started walking. “Thanks for walking me here. I guess I’ll see you-“

“Is it okay if I come in for a minute? I kinda wanted to talk to you.” Her body looks pretty tense and she’s acting so unlike how she normally does that you feel a sinking feeling wash over you, expecting the worst.

She doesn’t want to be friends anymore. I fucked it up, you think to yourself.

“Yeah, okay,” you manage, opening the door for her to walk through. You close you eyes tightly for a moment and breathe, keeping your emotions at bay before you follow Kate into your room.

You silently watch her as she paces the floor of your room a few times, deciding on taking a seat at the edge of your bed. Her knee bounces and she looks anywhere but at you. You take another breath to try and calm yourself down before you finally can’t take it anymore.

“Alright Kate, let’s just get this over with.” She looks up to meet your eyes, confusion across her face.

“Get this over with?” You shoot her a slightly exasperated look.

“Come on. I know Lu told you.” Kate bites her lip and drops her eyes, and normally you’d find it cute but this whole conversation seems to have you on edge. “You don’t want to be friends anymore,” you state as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Kate’s head snapping back up to look at you sends you a different message, though.

“Wait, what? That’s what you think I want?”

“Well, yeah.” You feel less sure of yourself after Kate’s reaction, your tone less aggressive. “This stupid crush has obviously made things too awkward now.”

“That’s not it at all. The opposite, actually.” Kate seems to find some of her confidence again and she sits a little straighter, sounds a bit more sure of herself.

“What do you mean?” Kate pats the spot on the bed next to her, waiting for you to join her before she speaks.

“Since I first met you, there’s always been something pulling me towards you. It’s confused me for a while now, but I never really thought about it too much. And I don’t think I realised what it was until Lu told me that you liked me.” Kate’s eyes stare into yours and she looks nervous, maybe even scared, but she takes a deep breath to steady herself before grabbing your hand.

“I’m an idiot for not realising it sooner.” She places a hand on your cheek and strokes it softly with the pad of her thumb, her eyes travelling your face.

“Kate?”

Hearing your voice brings Kate out of the trance she had found herself in, her eyes meeting yours again before she slowly leans her head towards yours. You somehow find the confidence to meet her halfway, her soft lips pressing against your own.

Your first kiss is light and you only pull back for a tiny moment before Kate lets go of your hand to pull you in closer by the waist. Your second kiss is all smiles and quiet laughter and you eventually have to pull back when you’re both grinning too wide for the kiss to continue.

Catching your breath, your eyes move from Kate’s grin up to her stunning eyes.

“So, you don’t want to stop being friends with me then?” Kate chuckles and shakes her head at you.

“Okay, forget what I said before. You’re the idiot.” Your mouth falls open only with mild offence before Kate’s pulling you towards her again.

#tanner hall imagine #brie larson x reader #kate x reader #brie larson imagine #tanner hall #brie larson #mine #fic

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comradecowplant · 4 years ago

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WELL it was an easy read and I finished the book already. I gotta do a classic Dani Vents About a Story post that will include significant spoilers, so be careful if you are reading/want to read The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargraves. I’m about to bitch about it a lot, but overall it was an interesting book that I’d still (mostly) recommend if you have an interest in historical fiction surrounding the Norwegian witch trials.

Most of it was really good, although a few theme threads and character arcs completely fell apart in the final act. I knew it was going to be dark-- again, 17th century witch trial shit-- but the actual “murder my favorite characters” bit thankfully didn’t begin until pretty late in the story, which lets the focus remain more on the lives of the women vs their horrific deaths. The author does a (mostly) great job at creating interesting characters you fall in love with, and succeeded immensely at bringing the landscape and village of Vardo to life.

BUT

IN THE LAST LITERAL FOUR PAGES, THE NARRATIVE TOOK ALL THE MEANING THAT THE PROTAGANISTS HAD CREATED OUT OF THEIR HARDSHIPS AND THREW IT OVER A CLIFF (LITERALLY! & EACH USE OF THIS WORD HERE HAS BEEN THE PROPER USE. although i guess a fictional event cannot be truly ‘literal’ BUT WHATEVER I AM NOT GETTING LOST IN THE WEEDS WITH PEDANTICS). I am so fucking mad, and it serves as a reminder to why I typically don’t read/watch many period pieces these days, unless it is a period setting in a fantasy/sci fi world. So many people think that in order to bE rEaLiStIc when writing about periods in history, you simply MUST be as grimdark as possible, especially with conclusions, but I find that perspective boring and uncreative as hell. Bitch it’s already fiction! it’s already lies! you are god in the universe you write, have some courage and don’t concede to established tropes that center on garish suffering to define the experiences of historically (& contemporaneously) marginalized people! At least in a medieval-set fantasy story, you get the vibes of the historical setting, but also your friends can swoop by on a dragon and rescue the innocent pants-wearing fisherwoman who is about to be burned alive by the racist woman-hating church.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a story with a messy & unhappy ending. I even love an occasional grimdark story! But as I get older, I see & feel more the evils which inspired these historical events and how they still burden our world today, and I do not enjoy spending my free time reading/watching movies that are centered on suffering for suffering’s sake-- if I want a story about senseless violence & the underdogs who never win, I will just turn on the fucking news. SO, for me, the dark stories I do enjoy cannot just be traumaporn in a difference shell, the darkness has. to. make. sense. You can’t spend 300 pages on a woman overcoming her grief of losing her brother/father/fiancé/half her village & learning how to be a #StrongIndependantWoman, then have her just kill herself on the last page. It just isn’t narratively good, it just isn’t! And to be clear, the author could have gone WAYYYYYYYY darker in many places throughout the book & did not even come close to going full grimdark. I think overall she greatly succeeded at balancing hope & hopelessness. It was done so well in fact that I was lulled into a false sense of security that maybe just maybe there might be a way out for our ladies, a conclusion that didn’t end with the kind of complete misery that historic fiction tends to skew towards. But there is this overwhelming sense in the final few pages that, probably due to the aforementioned loyalty to perceived “historical accuracy”, she hadn’t included enough suffering (even though there is PLENTY of tragedy to go around by that point) & she didn’t know how to finish the story. So when in doubt, kill 👏 those 👏 gays 👏 (although we don’t know the fate of the other woman, who has entire chapters given from her perspective, but Meren just says bye & we never hear about Ursa again 😤)

Which brings us to, yeah, it did have gay shit like I thought, and up until the garbage of the last four pages, it was a very touching romance. But it too concluded in a way that is only satisfying if you squint, and adds to the inconsistencies that I mentioned above. I’ve never in my life said this before, and it makes me ill to even type this, but, *sob* it probably would have been a better story if the two women had remained platonic friends and no touch-a the booba. I know a lot of people think I’m One of Those cringe queers who will read/watch absolute garbage just if there is a queer person (which tbf I definitely also do sometimes, & it’s actually very valid of me, thank u very much), but if that were true I would have finished that awful Warming Trend book that I blogged about like 2 years go, or read any of the hundreds of stupid “subtext” trash that folks like to recommend, or ship Supercorp (no offense to anyone who ships them, I get it, Katie McGrath is hot, but come on, there is a perfectly good lesbian already on the show), or watched Glee. No, I do actually have some standards-- Are they super high, as a love-starved reader/viewer who uses romantic fiction as a primary means of escapism/coping with my shitty life? No, lmao. But as a writer, and as a queermo, nothing grinds my gears more than a badly executed lgbtq+ storyline.

Anyway, I just finished the book an hour ago so my crankiness & disappointment is raw and thus I am all over the place with this rant. I hope I’m not coming off as being too hard on the author, because despite it’s flaws, I am very glad to have serendipitously found The Mercies, and I look forward to checking out KMH’s other works. It’s been a long time since I’ve dug into a book and read it in just a few sittings like I did this, repeating “just one more chapter” for hours until it’s suddenly 3 am, and despite the fuckery to my sleep schedule it contributes to, the feeling is good-- it brings me back to simpler times when I actually was able to experience an ease from the constant uneasiness I always carry in my chest. Idk, moral of the story is that reading is fun, & when I get stuck in my Bad Turns & don’t read for months, it becomes easy to forget how much solace can come from a mid-quality but seductive (not in a horny way. but sometimes also in a horny way, lol) novel. Like, most of my reading these days is miserable 20th century theory or other academic/non-fiction writing related to our depressing capitalist hellscape & impending climate disaster, and The Mercies helped me remember that my roots lie in fiction. It also has me inspired to revisit a couple of historical fictions projects I have laying around, aND MAKE A WOMAN-EMPOWERMENT, ANTI-RACIST, QUEER AS HELL PERIOD FICTION PEICE THAT DOES NOT END IN COMPLETE GARBAGE! And in the meantime, I shall be revisiting the works of Sarah Waters, the only bad bitch I know of who writes queer historical fiction without relinquishing her characters solely to the suffering they experience ✌

If anyone has read this far and has any books/authors to recommend (wlw focused preferably, historical fiction or any genre as long as the story itself doesn’t rely on the tropes I touched on, recently published also preferably bc I have a long list of older books/authors but i don’t keep up with new releases like I should, & a lot of the ones I know are white & cis so PLEASE send reccs for more diverse stories/authors if you have them)

#dani talks about books

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exodustories · 8 years ago

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Exo Reaction: Their gf’s a writer

Suho: He’d love that you were a writer! He’d 100% support you. Sometimes he’d come home late from practice to hear the sound of your fingers tapping away at the keyboard. He laughs to himself at the thought of the keys flying off the keyboard from you typing so fast. He knows how engrossed you get in your writing that you forget about everything else. He’ll peak into the room and mutter a “hey baby, have you eaten?” He’ll snicker at your widened eyes looking at him. He’d always make sure to bring you snacks when you start your writing so that you have something to nibble on. Or if he wants to have some time with you he’ll sit beside you and read a book and it’d be so cute. If he hears you groan bc you’re struggling with writing a scene he’ll chuckle and curl up and lay his head on your shoulder and talk with you about your scene and if you needed him to cuddle you or massage your shoulders he so would.

Xiumin: He’d get all smiley when he see’s you talking about how much you love writing. Or if you’re telling him about your characters in your story and get all excited he’d be all smiley and his heart would flutter. He’d understand that sometimes you needed your own space to really focus when you write. After you’ve finished and come back to him he loves when you tell him if you were able to figure out how to write a scene. He’d be all cheesy and tbh you’d base one of your characters off of him and that’d melt his sweet lil heart

Yixing: Ok this boy is a workaholic and is so hard on himself! But he’d feel more at ease if you were by his side. Like if he was working on some lyrics and deep in thought and you’d be by his side working on your writing. He’d feel so much better that you were working hard beside him. You would both forget to take breaks and be working hard until the late hours of the morning. But both of you would constantly praise each other for constantly working so hard. He’d always ask if he could read your writing but never pressures you bc he knows your shy about it. But, when you do share it with him he’d be !!!!!!!!! you’re amazing wow! I feel like bc of him you’d venture into poetry and experiment with different types of writing bc he’s always trying new writing styles and so you try it out too.

Chanyeol: Omg you’d both literally inspire each other! Like Yixing you’d both work beside each other completely lost in your work. He’d get frustrated and have you help him, you’d always stop your writing or quickly finish up before you helped him. Chan is always dabbling into new things and not afraid to try new things or lean new instruments. Through this you’d always have new inspiration for writing. He doesn’t know much about story writing but he knows how to tell a story through lyrics so he’d help you as well. You’d get inspiration from his lyrics and he’d get inspiration from some of your stories or stuff you’d written about

Kai: Okay he’d completely understand your passion for writing just like he’s passionate about dancing. Sometimes you’d watch him dance and poetry would pour out of you and onto a page. The words would just flow out of you. And when he’s done practicing you’d share with him your poem and he’d get all mushy and fluffy bc you used your passion and wrote about him and his passion. His heart would melt bc wow! You wrote something so beautiful about him. Sometimes you’d ask him to dance for you or show you what dances he was learning so you could get some inspiration. Tbh he’d get inspiration from you bc you look so beautiful and at peace when you’re in your zone.

Chen: He’d always cheer you on and be your personal cheer leader! If he heard you sighing or frustrated he’d immediately be like “babe you can do this! You got this! You go babe! I love you!” And that’d instantly make you feel better and you’d be able to write some more. Or if you were just having a rough day and your writing wasn’t coming out well he’d buy you your favorite snack or buy you something you’ve been eyeing for a while. “I hope this gives you some inspiration” he’d say and kiss your cheek and you’d honestly do the same for him. You’d cook his favorite food or also buy his fave snack if he was having a hard time. He’d also remind you that it’s okay to take breaks and get back into it when you get more inspiration.

Baekhyun: He’d be supportive so much as well!! If you ever felt down about your writing he’d get serious and tell you all the things you’re good that you think you suck at. He’d know how to cheer you up and be like no babe you’re writing is so good! Don’t give up honey bun! He doesn’t like seeing you beating yourself up over this but he’s always there if you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. If you’d send him a sad emoji through text bc you were having trouble with writing he’d send a bunch of kissy emojis! You’d surprise him and write a really beautiful poem about him and he’d tear up bc you put your all into it. He’d ask if you could help him write lyrics be he loves your writing and wants to sing something you wrote bc he loves you so much!!!!!!!!!

Sehun: Sehun would always be there if you got frustrated. He’d ask if you needed a cup of tea or some sweets or a nice cuddle! He’s always busy but when he’s around he’ll ask how your writing is going and making sure you’re okay. If he’s away he’ll always text and ask how your writing is going or if you’ve come up with something new. You always asked about how things were going for him so he always made sure to check in with your writing. You wrote for fun but he knew how passionate you were about it and always wanted updates. He’d also get you to write lyrics with him so you both could mix your passions together. It’d make him feel so happy that you both worked on a piece together and now his group members were performing it along side him. He’d be the happiest boy ever

D.O: He definitely shows his emotions through his actions rather than words. So if you felt kinda down he’d cook your favorite food or bake you your favorite cookies. It would definitely put a smile on your face to see him coming in with a plate of your favorite sweets. He’d place the plate in front of you and sit beside you and smile while eating the sweets with you. Of course he’d also give you words of encouragement if he felt you really needed to hear it. If you ever came to him and let him know that you were able to get you through your writing he’d smile and pull you into his arms and whisper “I knew you could do it” and bc you’re a writer he’d go over his lines with you and ask you what things he should do to play his character better since you kind of would know since you’re a writer.

#exo reaction #exo reactions #exo scenario #exo scenarios #exo writing #exodustories #admin nat

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pacman-tattoo · 8 years ago

Note

All even? O:

under the cut since it got long

2. Favorite part of writing.

idk. maybe just being able to share a vision while also letting other people imagine things as they want? if that makes sense???

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

mmm….. i guess sometimes i’ll play certain songs/albums?

as in i basically listen to bmc on repeat sometimes when i’m stuck

6. Favorite character you ever created.

:0 i love jaden!!! my son!!! a good boy

other than that, i rly loved writing charlotte and joanne when i wrote countdown even tho they weren’t too prominent since they weren’t the main focus

8. Favorite trope to write.

can i count the new kid in school as a trope

thats a trope tho right

that one

i like it.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

can i say i’d write a romance book with literally anyone that i’m mutuals w/ that write????

or any book. romance would be the best option imo but i’d be down for anything

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

i dont

i technically bottle them up and they they overflow at fuck me up but

uh. alright so.

whenever i start having self-doubts about writing, sometimes i’ll just kinda… leave my writing alone for a while? like, sometimes i’ll end up taking a step back and basically seek some validation somewhere else maybe talk it out with someone else?

other than that, i’ll either push myself to keep writing since it’ll distract me from my doubts.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

i was about to say something else but.

alright.

countdown. that one rich soulmate fic?

i literally found what would have been the hospital rich was at (it wasn’t a hospital, but it shared the name), figured out how long it would take to get there and back by train, looked up train schedules + ticket prices, and basically how to get to the medical center from one of the train stations there

that’s the first thing that came to mind tbh. i’ve probably done more in the past but idk

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

nonexistent.

ok no it’s more of me glimpsing over my writing before posting it

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

kk. from my poly fic:

A week later and you’re already buried in your work. The contents of your room have practically been shoved into the closet as you invested all your time into each little detail in each costume. You spent your days either working on small details while in different classes, spray painting shoes during drama, or scribbling in answers to homework due the next period (or day, if you were lucky), courtesy of Christine. If you had a chance, you’d crash on the small, cheap couch in the drama room for a bit, and then you were back home and sewing and (rarely) burning your fingers on hot glue.

It was hell, but it was worth it.

there u go.

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

ok it legit depends. usually my first draft is the draft since almost everything i post on this account is a rough draft tbh (which is also the reason why i get so much writing done tbh)

which sucks because you babes deserve so much better tbh i still dont see why you guys follow me if u want me to be honest

but anyway

i’ll usually rewrite something once or twice if it doesn’t stick the very first time. (aka this is what’s going on with control pt.2)

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

prose. im bad at poetry + im not a huge fan of poetry in general so :/

26. Standalone or series, and why?

probably standalone stuff, but series can be good sometimes. mainly standalone because i don’t have to really consider another part - most of the stuff that i wrote more than one part for i actually didn’t plan for a second part

stuff like Fish Out of Water and Control were things i kinda knew i’d have more than one part once i finished em

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

it’s not a single line but the i love you from michael at the end of Third Wheel

i think about it since it’s such a sweet, simple line tbh?

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

typed bc my handwriting is b a d

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Control Pt.2:

get ready for some shit to haunt you.

also, being sick can honestly build some bonds between ppl. nothing like texting each other complaining about being sick as fuck.

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

i’ve shared my christine fic plans with scott!! he found the idea cute

plus i shared a michael fic idea with lucky and they basically pushed me to write it (since i was kinda :/ about writing it??? they basically made me decide to so <3 )

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

for my ocs that i don’t rly talk about here: i usually draw their personality, looks, ect. from a single idea. jaden came from me wanting to write a more bookish character. welton came from the idea of me wanting to make a gamer, essentially. sachiyo came from a self insert and evolved from there.

for the ocs that i put in my fics: i don’t really have concrete looks for them - you guys can imagine them however you want! sometimes i might reference them twirling hair around their finger or a tattoo or dimples or something - but for the most part, you guys can legit imagine them however. personality usually draws from what the reader needs, in a sense?

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

i dont even know tbh

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?

uhhh

i have a Really old project called To Perdition and Back which follows a man named Carson as he and his team basically saves ppl from a sort of purgatory???

it would basically deal with his personal struggle. he had an affair with ivan, a man at his work who died during one of their expeditions - and the fact his wife is basically never there for him or his kids, which causes a bit of a strain on the family itself.

the tv show would basically follow carson + his team tbh? plus there’d be subtle hints leading toward the fact that (spoiler) ivan isn’t dead.

the plan is that the show also has representation tbh??? i’ll talk more about it if anyone’s curious.

48. Favorite genre to write in.

uhhh romantic shit.

52. How did writing change you?

idk it basically helped me develop a coping mechanism in a way???

#bean answers things #this is v long #snowjemmer

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rvinsounds · 8 years ago

Text

– shall we dance? in which seungyeon has to give advice. alternatively titled ‘four idiots who somehow all got the girl’

a/n: this is almost 5k words i don’t fucking know okay kill me now. also i’m sorry bc this was supposed to be Serious Shit and Cute but somehow halfway through it started to become crack and idk hdbfdsbhfjfd i hope y’all like it anyway lmfoaoa

The announcement for the annual Yule Ball had just gone up on all the bulletin boards in all the houses on the first of December. Which, of course, started a loud commotion among the entirety of the student body, everyone buzzing over who would ask who (mostly between the male populace) and who would be asked by who (among the female students). The professors could barely get the students to focus without interrupting big proposal ideas and endless gossiping. On top of all the homework they were receiving before Christmas, all the students in the fourth year and up were busy coming up with ways to ask out their desired partners.

Though, there was one student that was not concerned in the slightest. Chanuk was entirely unconcerned about the whole process of asking the person he was going with to the ball. Of course, he hadn’t actually asked yet, but it was only a matter of time.

“Hey, who are you going with to the ball?” Seungyeon asks him during study hall, nudging him gently with a smile. The Ravenclaw was usually more studious during study hall, but had seemed to succumb to the way the rest of the student body was reacting, unable to really focus on the History of Magic paper he had open in front of him.

“Arazely,” the Slytherin replies with ease, not even looking up from his Transfigurations paper, eyebrows furrowed together as he writes down the theory behind the Switching Spell they had learnt in class earlier that week. He flips through The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 4 to his required information, squinting at it. “Seungyeonie, what does – why are you looking at me like that?”

“You already asked her? The announcement went up yesterday!” The younger boy’s expression is one of complete awe, having been talking to their other friends and had experienced all of them freaking out about the respective girls they wanted to go with.

“Oh. That’s right …” Chanuk’s eyebrows furrow even more before he shakes silver bangs out of his face, straightening up and glancing around to look for his alleged date to the Yule Ball. He stands, clambering over the bench he was sitting on and he pats Seungyeon on the shoulder before heading down the row to where the Hufflepuff girl was seated. She jumps a bit at the rough tap to her shoulder, glancing up and around only to see a glowering Slytherin boy standing behind her.

“Chanuk? What do you want?” Her voice is soft, and even surprised to see him there. The people around her are whispering too, her friends curious and very obviously trying to eavesdrop on the coming up conversation. No one seems to be expecting what comes next though.

“We’re going to the ball together,” he says, patting her gently on the shoulder before he stalks back to where he had been sitting with Seungyeon, plopping back down next to him again and turning his attention back to his paper.

The Ravenclaw’s expression is one of awe again.

There’s a tap on his shoulder a moment later, Chanuk glowering at the person for a moment for daring to interrupt his paper again only for his expression to soften a moment later when he realizes who it is.

“Okay, we’re going to the ball together,” Arazely confirms with a smile, cheeks slightly pink before she also hurries back to her spot.

“I can’t wait to tell the other hyungs that you beat them all to asking out their dates!” Seungyeon exclaims, grinning widely after he’s had a moment to process what had just happened. “They’re gonna be pissed.”

–

Word goes around in their friendship circle that Chanuk had inadvertently asked his date to the Yule Ball already, and as Seungyeon predicted, the older students are pissed. Euncheol, for one, has been working on asking Nadine out for years and she had never said yes to him. Even after all the things he had tried, he had never once succeeded. Since the announcement for the ball, he’s been concocting many a plan in the safety of one of the more isolated corners of the library.

He’s surrounded by scrunched up balls of parchment, ink scribbles on each of them when Seungyeon finds him in the library.

“Is this another one of your master plans to ask Nadine nuna to the Yule Ball?” he asks the Gryffindor, picking up one of the paper balls on the floor and unraveling it, squinting at the handwriting. He makes out ‘giant squid’, ‘house-elves’ and 'confetti’ before the sheet is snatched out of his hands and crumpled up once again.

“I’m going to figure this out if it’s the last thing I do,” Euncheol promises, before shooing him away. “I need peace and quiet for my master plan – come back later.”

And Seungyeon is promptly kicked out of that corner of the library.

Not having anything else better to do – he had conveniently finished his homework during study hall and considering he wasn’t an OWL student yet, he was free to do whatever he wanted with his spare time – he tagged along to the Slytherin Quidditch practice, wanting to watch. Despite being a member of the Ravenclaw team, his relationship with the Slytherin Quidditch Captain meant that he was trusted not to say anything.

And honestly, he wouldn’t be able to reveal much anyway – though he treasured his relationship with Saebom enough that the Slytherin knew he didn’t have to worry about Seungyeon giving away team secrets to a rival house.

He’s seated in the bleachers as he half-watches the team practice, reading up on the next lesson in his copy of The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection for his Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson tomorrow morning when he’s joined by someone sitting down next to him. Glancing up to see whose presence he had just been graced by, he smiles brightly when he recognizes who it is.

“Nuna, hello,” he greets the older Ravenclaw, waving a little bit as he bookmarks the page he was on. He can always catch up on his readings a little bit later. “Are you waiting for Jess nuna? She’s not done yet … Saebom hyung keeps making them redo their formations. She’s taunting him, I think …” He glances up at the players on their brooms, an amused smile on his lips.

He knows for a fact – actually, probably everyone in the entire school knows for a fact – that the Slytherin captain most definitely had the hots for the Slytherin seeker. And vice versa. Everyone seemed to know about it … besides the two themselves. It was amazingly obvious, even from this far away that the two were flirting once again in the air.

“Are you going to the ball, Seungyeonie?” Megan asks fondly, brushing his hair out of his eyes before frowning a little bit. “You need a haircut soon,” she murmurs, thumbing at the blond strands before she confirms that she is, indeed, waiting for the lavender-haired seeker to finish with the Quidditch practice.

The younger Ravenclaw shrugs in response to both things she had said. “I was going to tag along with Eddy hyung since he’s too lazy to ask someone to go. I don’t have anyone I want to ask so I’m just … going to chill.”

Megan laughs before she ruffles his hair, fixing it the moment right after.They both jump at the shrill shriek of a whistle, Saebom finally signalling for the practice to end. The two Ravenclaws watch with matching expressions of amusement as they watch him get bowled over once he’s close enough to the ground by Jessica, a grin on her face as she straightens up. Even from where they’re sitting, across the entire field almost, they can hear her exclaiming; “Sorry! Forgot to brake,” as she waves at the two of them, mischief written clearly across her face as Saebom lays there on the pitch, dramatically playing dead. “Suck it up you big baby.”

“I’m going to go make sure she doesn’t accidentally kill him,” Megan sighs, patting Seungyeon on the shoulder before getting up to leave and he grins to himself, too amused by the antics of the Slytherins. He watches the older girl head across the Quidditch Pitch before he packs up his stuff. Might as well head to dinner now, and hopefully find the rest of his friends – before he would have to check to make sure Saebom hadn’t ended up in the hospital wing.

He waves back at his friends, who had all stopped what they were doing to wave at him excitedly in hopes he would notice, before heading off and ticking one point off of his mental to-do list.

There was no way Saebom was dying if he was waving at him like that.

–

Usually he prefers to study with Chanuk, since they’re in the same year and share a lot of classes, but he was somehow roped into studying with the head boy and he’s unsure, really, of how this had happened. They were three years apart and the Hufflepuff was doing his NEWTs now – or he should be.

“Hyung?” Seungyeon inquires, glancing at the older male who’s writing furiously in a notebook instead of on parchment paper, copying something down from a textbook.

Sinhwa glances up from his notes, a genuine look of surprise on his face and immediately closes his notebook, and Seungyeon recognizes The Look and quickly backtracks. “It’s nothing important! Really, don’t – you’re doing your Ultimate Dad Thing right now, you know.”

That stops the older male in his tracks of trying to literally drill a hole into the younger’s brain, looking rightfully sheepish as he leans back with a soft laugh. “Oops, sorry.”

The Head Boy settles back in his chair, reopening his notebook and dipping his quill into the inkwell before he glances at the Ravenclaw expectantly, his quill poised to write. “I’m doing my work now, kiddo, please tell me what you were going to say before I accidentally went into Dad Mode.” Seungyeon can’t help but laugh at that, throwing his head back slightly and he has to stifle his laughter by covering his mouth with both hands in case Madame Pince heard him and kicked him out of the library for being too loud. It takes him a few moments to really contain himself before he calms down enough to think about what he had been about to say.

“I was wondering if you had asked Megan nuna to the ball yet,” he murmurs after a moment, knowing that it had been a few weeks already and out of their entire friend group, only Chanuk had really secured a date. He had assumed that Sinhwa and Megan would be going together – they had been dating for almost a year now, if he remembered correctly, so it wasn’t like they would be going with anyone else besides their significant other.

He just didn’t have faith in his most oblivious hyung – for good reason – to have asked his girlfriend to the ball. He was five hundred percent sure that Sinhwa would’ve just assumed that they would be going together. Which was fine and dandy, of course, but he also knew Megan pretty well that he was also five hundred percent sure that she, while not expecting it, would very much enjoy an invitation all the same. Even if she had also assumed that they would be going together.

“Was … Am I supposed to?” Sinhwa looks very surprised, as Seungyeon had fully expected him to if he were honest, and even a bit caught off guard. “She’s already – should I ask her then?”

“Hyung … would I be asking you this if that wasn’t what I was implying the whole time?” The younger points out, shaking his head and pretending to facepalm, sighing audibly before he glances around.

“This sounds bad, and I don’t been to stereotype or anything, but it’s a girl thing. Also, I know Mei nuna and she would definitely like for you to ask her. So you should do it. Now. Or, soon,” he says, an air of finality in his voice. Despite being the youngest of their group of friends, his words are often taken the most seriously out of everyone’s because … well, because he was the youngest. Also, probably because he was the shyest one and tended to not go out of his way to get noticed, and therefore was the one who noticed more things than everyone else.

He didn’t like to admit it, but being the baby of their friendship group did most definitely have its perks.

“Anyways hyung, I think you should ask her to the ball,” he says, turning his own attention back to his notes as he reads them over quietly, glancing up once just to make sure he could see the gears turning in the older’s head.

Merlin, he really hoped he wouldn’t have to intervene with everyone to get them to finally ask their specific persons to the Yule Ball. Matchmaker Seungyeon Kim did not have a nice ring to it. Really. It didn’t.

–

“Do you think Euncheol hyung will finally stop trying to come up with extravagant plans and ask Nadine nuna to the ball before Sinhwa hyung realizes that he still hasn’t asked Megan nuna to the ball?”

“I think Saebom hyung will forget to ask Jess nuna to the ball until the last minute.”

“But he’s been meaning to ask her since you asked Ara to the ball! I don’t think he’ll be the last one. I think Euncheol hyung will psyche himself out.”

“5 Sickles that Euncheol hyung will be next, Sinhwa hyung after and Saebom hyung will be last.”

“Okay, deal.”

–

There’s only a week and a half left before Christmas Day, and more importantly, the day of the Yule Ball and Euncheol is starting to panic. Seungyeon had found him in the library again, once more surrounded by crumpled up plans of asking Nadine to the Yule Ball, and not one good one in sight.

He was starting to become desperate.

The Ravenclaw had convinced him to literally just YOLO it – whatever that meant. He liked to think he kept up with Muggle slang enough that he could understand what Jessica and Seungyeon liked to yell at each other, and what Sinhwa would reference after a summer of being at home, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what 'Just you only live once it’ could possibly mean.

He had taken it to mean just go for it, and the Gryffindor honestly hoped that that was what Seungyeon had meant.

If not, he was probably going to embarrass himself. Not that that was something of a surprise to him anymore, since he tended to do that on his own just fine.

But, with Seungeon’s encouragement, he was finally planning to march straight up to his housemate and just ask her outright. To hell with all of his fancy plans, honestly. Hopefully, she would take it straight and not reject him with one of her stupid excuses of not 'dating Gryffindors because they were dumb’ since, that was technically a diss upon herself.

He was getting sidetracked.

Pacing quietly outside of the classroom he knew the sixth year Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were in for Transfiguration, he waits with a single rose in his hand. Of course, he had had to have something even if it wasn’t part of any of his great schemes. Operation Ask Nadine to the Yule Ball On The First Try had to be a success – so a rose it was.

(Also part of Seungyeon’s suggestions.)

When she finally steps out of the classroom, he rushes up to her before she realizes what’s happening. He’s prepared for rejection, honestly speaking, and his mind is whirring with things he can say to either play it off as a joke or to retort with to her usual excuse for saying no.

“Nadine,” he calls out, grabbing her hand and whirling her around before she can get her bearings together, smiling at her. Man, he’s been pining after her for years – fingers crossed, fingers crossed! “Go to the ball with me,” Euncheol murmurs, presenting her with the rose and he ducks his head slightly, different words on the tip of his tongue.

She’s quiet for a moment, and his heart leaps to his throat. The tension is too real, and the older Gryffindor feels like an eternity has passed before she finally opens her mouth to speak. His heart is pounding in his ears and he’s most definitely sure he had heard wrong when his brain processes her answer.

“… okay.”

“Fine! I didn’t want to go with you anyway! It was a –” he pauses, having blurted out his automated response without having really listened to what she had said. “Wait – sorry, I expected you to say no.”

There’s a smile on her face, one that will probably stay etched in his brain forever as the one that can always take his breath away, before she punches him hard in the arm and takes the rose from him.

“This doesn’t mean I’m taking back what I said about Gryffindors though,” she mutters at him, holding the rose carefully in her arms before she smiles again. “See you later?”

And all he can do is nod dumbly as the sixth year hurries off to her next class.

“Yes!”

–

“What’s Euncheol screaming about now?” Saebom asks, sidling up next to the younger and slinging an arm around his shoulders, both of them watching in amusement as their Gryffindor fistpumps his way around the hallway, randomly high-fiving people that they’re sure he doesn’t actually know. “I mean, he’s usually screaming. But this is a bit excessive, even for him.”

“Hey hyung,” Seungyeon glances up at the Slytherin, smiling in greeting before he turns his attention back to their overly happy friend. “Nadine nuna said yes to going to the ball with him, that’s what.”

There’s dead silence in answer to that statement and the Ravenclaw knows exactly what that entails, nudging the older male with his shoulder before turning to face him yet.

“Still haven’t figured out how to ask Jess nuna to the ball yet, hey?”

Saebom blanches slightly, shaking his head a moment after. “She’s not going with anyone yet, right?” He asks, his expression concerned and Seungyeon really wants to say yes just to see him sweat but he decides to take mercy on his friend, shaking his head in answer instead.

“I really think she’s waiting for you to ask her,” he points out, sighing and as much as he likes the older boy, he can’t help but think he might be incredibly dense sometimes. “She’s asked me a few times if you’re going with someone, too.”

The Slytherin seems to be lost in thought, fingers combing through his bangs in what Seungyeon is sure is a nervous habit, though Saebom does it all the damn time so he’s honestly not too sure if he’s just obsessed with how his hair looks. “Please ask her soon – I think Nadine nuna is planning to castrate you if you don’t.”

–

Honestly, Sinhwa had been fully planning on acting on Seungyeon’s words after he had heard them but between studying for his NEWTs, doing homework, spending time with his girlfriend and his Head Boy duties, it’s completely slipped his mind that he should’ve asked her to the ball properly. Especially during the time that he spends with her – he would much rather allow himself to enjoy her presence rather than have to worry about something like asking her to the ball.

But, a voice that sounds suspiciously like Seungyeon’s in the back of his head likes to remind him, she would be happy that you asked her even if she’s not expecting it.

He decides, in the end, when it startles him that there’s only a week left before Christmas, that he has to just hunker down and do it. It really shouldn’t be that hard – but why is he suddenly so nervous? They’re literally just meeting to have lunch together before they have to go off to their respective classes afterwards but his palms are feeling clammy and he has to rub them against his robes. It’s not like he thinks she’ll be mad at him, or God forbid, say no to his invite but his heart is thudding in his chest anyway.

It reminds him of when he had asked her out.

Now is not the time to think about that! The Head Boy scolds himself, smoothing down his shirt and he sighs softly to himself before he straightens his spine and heads into the Great Hall, glancing immediately at the Ravenclaw table to search the length of it for his girlfriend. She’s not hard for him to find, and he makes his way over immediately, plopping himself down next to her with a soft greeting.

They eat lunch quietly, just enjoying each other’s company in the few calm moments they could steal everyday before their hectic lives caught up with them again. This is the usual for them, and whereas some of their friends might call this boring, both of them just enjoyed it too much to really care about what other people said.

But, today, today is going to be a bit different.

Before they split, Sinhwa takes his girlfriend’s hand gently and presses his lips to the back of her hand, smiling up at her and his eyes crinkle into her favorite expression.

“Will you do me the honour of accompanying me to the Yule Ball this coming Christmas?” he asks, his voice soft so that no one would really hear what the content of this conversation was, though it probably wasn’t too hard to guess. Being the Head Boy, and a rather popular one due to his genuine kindness that he showed to everyone and anyone, meant that there was a fair share of rumours floating about. Whether true or untrue, it didn’t matter, but he knew for a fact that there were a handful drifting about of his not having asked Megan to the ball yet.

The Ravenclaw’s expression is one of surprise for a moment before it dissolves into one of immeasurable fondness as she grasps his hand more tightly in her own, their promise rings to each other clinking together ever so gently.

“Of course,” she replies, in a voice that’s even softer, gentler than he thinks he deserves with how overdue this question is. “It would be an honour to be your date to the Yule Ball.”

He smiles, and he thinks he understands what Seungyeon means now. It might’ve been easy to assume that they were to be going to the ball together, but it’s much nicer now that’s he’s confirmed it.

–

“Have you asked her yet?”

“No.”

“And why in the name of Merlin’s underpants have you not?”

“Did you just use Merlin’s underpants in a question –”

“Yes? That’s not important though?”

“I mean, it kind of is –”

“It’s less than a week until the fucking Yule Ball, Oh Saebom you dweeb, if you don’t ask her soon, Merlin help me I will castrate you if it’s the last thing I do!”

–

“I still can’t believe you were the first person out of everyone to ask,” Seungyeon sighs, having been watching all of his friends slowly gain their dates as Chanuk just stared blankly at his textbook.

“And I also can’t believe Saebom hyung is the last! This doesn’t make sense,” he shakes his head, glancing down at his paper that he’s writing for his Charms class. The professors have been increasing their workload in order to prepare their year for their OWLs – which is totally unfair, considering Christmas is just around the corner.

Chanuk glances up from where he’s chewing on the end of his quill, expression blank as always and he just shrugs.

“Saebom hyung is useless, have you not figured that out already?”

–

After much hounding from a certain tiny Gryffindor girl, he’s finally got his bearings in check to finally, finally gather up the courage to ask a certain prickly housemate of his to the Yule Ball.

Of course, the Yule Ball being the next day had absolutely nothing to do with it. He would deny that much until the grave – no, Saebom would take that secret with him to beyond the damn grave. Nadine would never let him live this down.

It wasn’t like he was nervous or anything.

Except he was. More than he had ever been before.

He had no idea why this was so nerve-wracking for him. He had fought with the Giant Squid, for Merlin’s sake, and he was fully planning on leading his Quidditch team to victory. He had dealt with so many things scarier than this, yet he couldn’t stop fiddling with his hair as he waited for a lavender-haired girl to enter the Slytherin common room.

Though, when Jessica finally steps through the entrance of the common room, he’s lost his train of thought. Especially since she plops down next to him immediately upon seeing him, and things like that always get him to forget what he was planning beforehand. They had become closer as of late, probably because he was no longer the target of her and Nadine’s pranks that he was being included in them more. And all the long Quidditch practices had required them to spend more time alone than with their friends, so it was inevitable that their friendship would flourish under these circumstances.

“What color dress are you wearing to the Yule Ball?” Saebom ends up asking her absentmindedly as a lull comes into their conversation, nudging her gently where she’s sat on the couch, legs slung over his.

Her expression is a curious one, albeit a bit of a confused one as she glances up from her copy of Magical Drafts and Potions where she’s rereading the uses and properties of the moonstone. They had been in a deep discussion on Potions just before this, and he realizes a bit belatedly that it’s a bit of a random jump in conversation topics.

“It’s like a burgundy – my dad sent it to me last week,” she answers him, flipping the page of her textbook and smoothing it down before she raises an eyebrow at him. “Why?”

He just shrugs, playing with a loose thread he had found on her ripped jeans. “I mean, we have to match – do you think I could charm my tie to be the same color?”

There’s a pause as he continues to play with the thread, twisting it in his fingers, and he doesn’t realize that she hasn’t actually answered him before she speaks again, her tone entirely confused as she nudges him with her foot. He notices now that she’s closed her book, setting it aside and he realizes that this means Real Serious Conversation immediately.

“Since when were we going to go to the ball together?”

This question catches him off guard entirely and his jaw drops slightly before he quickly runs their past conversation through his mind. It’s completely silent where they’re sitting, the expression on the younger Slytherin’s face adorably confused, before he realizes where he had went wrong and his eyes widen.

“… Oh hell, I forgot to ask you first,” Saebom whispers, reaching up to facepalm extremely hard before he changes expressions so fast, no one could have caught when he had gone from exasperated to serious.

“Will you be my date to the Yule Ball, Miss Nguyen?” he asks, extending his hand to her with a somber expression on his face – only to promptly yelp as she kicks him hard, flailing and his expression is now bewildered, laughter on the verge of appearing.

“Fuck you so hard in the ass for asking me so goddamn late, you fucking asshole,” Jessica huffs, arms crossed over her chest, her Potions book having fallen to the floor with a thud when she had kicked him earlier.

“What if I had said yes to someone else, you jerk –”

“But you didn’t –”

The older Slytherin watches her with wide eyes as he listens to all the muffled profanities she’s mumbling under her breath, catching bits and pieces like “– should say no, this asshole –” and “– I can’t fucking believe –” and “literally on the goddamn night before –” before he has to intervene, purposely pouting at her, going the cute route because he knew that was her weakness when it came to him.

“Is that a no?”

Silence.

“I’ll charm your tie for you, asshole.”

–

“Pay up.”

Seungyeon decides – as he watches everyone dance with their dates at the Yule Ball, well, Sinhwa and Megan are swaying on the dance floor, completely absorbed in each other’s presences, Arazely is sitting next to Chanuk as they drink punch together to cool off after they had jammed out too hard to the last song, Nadine and Euncheol are doing some weird intimate sort of dancing that he doesn’t want to pay too much attention to, and Jessica is chasing Saebom around the Great Hall for some comment on her height – that he’s never going to have a bet with Chanuk ever again.

#otp:when the clock strikes twelve you will be mine #otp:even the sunlight dims in the presence of you #otp:heaven must exist because how else could you?#otp:black coffee never tasted so sweet #event:yule ball #!feat:kim seungyeon #!drabble #!wc:4887

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athleisure-aesthetic · 8 years ago

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I did the thing again 💁🏽 I'll attempt to keep it brief. We know how much I struggle with that tho...

April 21 Friday was my first trip to bikram yoga, and I was very very nervous. I had never been to bikram yoga, and it would have been only my second official yoga class ever. The other class I had taken was with a friend at the studio near our school, and it was just a regular hot vinyasa class. That instructor made me feel very welcomed and very capable, and it was a way smaller class, so she actually came over and helped me with my poses. All I knew was that bikram was hotter than the regular hot class, it had a series of 26 poses that you cycled through, and that you sweat out like your whole body weight over the 75 minutes. Sweet.

Showed up like 3 minutes before (in shorts, btw, #nsv for me), and the room was packed, mostly full of people in shavasana. I had to squeeze in a spot by the heater (kill me) and it seemed to me like the class was 85% regulars. I would soon learn that my instinct was hella correct. We were asked who was new, and out of like literally 35-40 people, I was the only one. Thought that meant she could help me. Nope. We went through the breathing exercise and went off into the poses after a few minutes. I had already begun to feel a little lightheaded, but my fear of looking dumb focused me. I looked up and noticed my instructor didn't even do single pose. How am I supposed to know what to do, or the proper form?? She would talk, walk around, and actually scroll through her phone... like I know it's 5:30 on a Friday but you signed up for this shit. You don't get to do that. She also made a lot of inside jokes with the regulars, some whom I later believed to be other instructors, and like did not encourage modification. She was like I know you can push further, so do it. Like HOMIE that is not what you're supposed to do, especially if you're new!! She was very serious about no talking or making noise, so she only came over to the guy next to me who kept cursing when his grip would slip to help him modify.

Things I found out: A, you need like a legit swimming towel or actual full size yoga towel for this kind of yoga because I felt like I was drowning in sweat. I had to wring out my shirt and shorts when I left. B, you're pretty much on your own at this studio, even if it says "all levels." They were not helpful for new people. C, it's a great detox, if you can get past the fact that you may not be able to hold any of your poses because your body is so slick from sweat. My forearms ended up being sore for the next two days because of how much I was straining to hold onto my poses. D, you should not be alarmed by how much it sounds like snakes are in the room whenever you do an open-mouth exhale. I was for a lot of the class, and it was SO distracting because I thought it was funny. Some people go really hard. And I mean REALLY hard with the breathing.

I think the only reason I would go back would be to go with a friend, and definitely another instructor. Sorry, Robyn. I want a chick who gives a shit about my class. She did end on a funny song, though. +1 for you.

Spent the rest of the evening being productive, doing laundry and cleaning my room. It was a glorious Friday night.

Listening to: "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys

April 22 It was supposed to rain all day Saturday, and I was anxious bc I had another long run. I really wanted to meet up with CFG again, though, so I forced myself out of bed, put on a hat and jacket, and hoped for the best. When I got to Dilworth, I coudln't find the group anywhere, and I waited until the last possible second, but decided the weather must've detered most people, or they left already, so I set out on my own. This 6.5 miles sucked so much more than last week's great 7 mile run. Maybe it was the weather or fatigue, but I just was not feeling the groove. I stopped for a hot second on Kelly Drive to breathe and to check out some of the statues and stuff. In hindsight, those pictures are very uneventful. At my halfway point, it started raining and I was like ughhhhhhh well at least I had that hat. This run felt so much harder than my last long run, and I wonder if it's just because my body's like YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT. At the last mile, though, I had a great few songs push me through, including Guns and Ships from Hamilton and What Do U Mean (I'm a sucker for Bieber). I finished around city hall, where there was an Earth Day protest going on. It's kinda cool that every weekend there are a lot of people around my city screaming about how much 45 sucks.

Later I got Snap pizza with friends and did not feel guilty about it whatsoever.

6.51 mi 10'17" min / mi

Listening to: "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus

April 23 Sunday was so much nicer out than Saturday, which was an excellent motivator to get me to FlyWheel. This was my second spin class, and first at FlyWheel. First impressions were amazing: you walk down the steps into like this pit, where they give you cycling shoes and there's a shop (I wanted everything even though I knew I wouldn't become an avid spinner bc $$, BUT EVERYTHING WAS SO CUTE). Then you find your bike in "the stadium" and wait until the staff is finished cleaning the bikes and putting out fresh towels to hop on. I got help from one of the staff, and thankfully this bike felt more comfortable than my first ride. Looking down, I saw these two pole things on the side of my bike, and a cool electronic torq tracker. I loved that you could opt into the torq board beforehand so you wouldn't be stressed about putting it in day-of. Suddenly, the lights went off and we were off. My instructor was super motivating and friendly, pushing us through a series of hills and sprints. I was happy that I had taken a spin class before, though, because I knew the positions when the she called them out. I admittedly signed up for her class specifically because on her profile she said she sang a cappella in her free time, so I was hoping she'd either A, have a great playlist, and / or B, sing throughout some of the songs lol. She started us out of "Wop" which I hadn't heard in like 6 years, so I was happy about that. On the penultimate song, she had us grab the bars next to our bikes and do an arms workout, which was surprisingly tough to focus on both the legs and arms at the same time. At the end I felt really good, definitely exhausted, but like I could go back the next day for sure. Absolutely one of my favorite workout classes I've ever taken. I see why people catch the bug now.

After class, I hung out at TJU for a bit before showering and going to Rittenhouse to hang out in the park. Since it was World Book Day, I bought both You Are a Badass (which is definitely going to change my life, if not give me some awesome quotes to live by) and Bossypants. I was feeling the energy. I was also thankful I brought my journal to the park, bc this one guy came up to me randomly and started hitting on me for like 10 minutes and I clearly did not want him there, so I wrote a whole bunch of pages about the entitlement of men and how some people must give off "please bother me" vibes. Overall great day, though, because I was happy I was getting back into writing.

Listening to: "Scream & Shout" by will.i.am. & Britney Spears

Also worked out yesterday, but I don't feel like writing about that rn. It was uneventful, other than my Nike Run Club app being annoying and not properly recording my treadmill tempo run. What's new. Today I'm giving myself my first full day off from working out in what feels like 2 months, so I'm very excited to not do anything. Also had a free bagel this morning because my work was giving them out. BLESSSSSSSS.

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smireyac · 6 years ago

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yea boi u already kno what it issssss 🍾🎆🎉🍾🎆🎉

hey so i started writing this at 8 o’ clock so i would be ahead of the game and actually have more than an hour to write but HEY its already 20 after midnight so who the eff care amiright ladies

WOOOOO 🍾🍾🎆 🎉 🎆 🍾 🎉 🎉 🍾 🍾 🍾 🎆🎆 🎆 🎉 🎆 🎉🍾 🎉 🍾🎆 🎉

so.................... its 2019.....................

i watched vox’s “2018 in 5 minutes” video and cried so thats how this year has been :^) a lot of lows......... we always think we leave the shittiest year behind then lo.............. the next year rears its ugly head and we never learn............ despite this, im gonna try to keep a positive outlook on the new year......... its literally just another day and i have to be in at work @ 9 tmrw but its what ever im already super fucking tired whats losing another hour of sleep anywahy?? its practically expected of me any way what with being a youth,,, ANYWAY i spent my time ringing in the new year watching spiderman homecoming so i think that wa sGREAt its also great that im gonna get to see spiderverse AGAIN tmrw after work so SUCK ON THAT im ringing in the new year RIGHT!! its a very spidey new year and i wouldnt have it any other way heh.....

alright

so its time.... to reflect...........

and actually reflect this time last year was weak sauce compared to the first year “im too unfocused right now happy new year or whatever” *scoffs* what r u too good for self reflecting now a days huhh

been doing a lot of self reflecting this year,,,,,, but today we will look back on how the previous years have gotten me to where i am today...

if 2016 was the year of change and 2017 was the year of getting used to things.............. 2018 felt like............ the year of getting TOO used to things, of not ENOUGH change............. like alright i scratched a few of the bigger things on my yearly “to do” list/resolutions, i. e. finally going back to school and getting a job at the library, but like.......... i definitly dont feel like i did enough........... my art game was SO WEAK and i feel like i wrote less than 10,000 words ALL YEAR (not counting my academic papers) i didnt really CREATE anything this i dont have ANYTHING significant to show for this year............and to get more negative i didnt even make any friends all year NONE FRIENDS im only *just* starting to get more friendly with people at the library thank GOD theyre nice and gave my shy ass a chance to open up but i still dont feel like ill make FRIEND friends theyre just work friends and u kno what thats making me so pissed bc its tricking my dumb ass into thinking i have a crush on someone at work aND that i want a *romantic* relationship with them!!! OUTRAGEOUS im so peeved.......................... i also still havent gotten behind a wheel but at this point im not sure if i will anytime soon bc im That Way..... grrrr im just mad thinking of all the things i didnt do so motherfucker i will make 2019 the year of DOING!!!! and i had so many resolutions last year i feel like the more i had the less i felt like i had to do them, like i was just saying all that to be like “oh wouldnt it be nice if any of these things happened lmao” so yeah 2019: the year of DOING... and since ive kinda sorta figured out that writing is my thang.... i think i wanna focus on doing that.. and anything that will help me do it

SO: #GOALS for 2K19

-WRITE AT LEAST 50.000 WORDS U COWARD, more than just “brainstorming” too bc thats like a cop out, write like stories or dialogue or scenes or scripts or WHATEVER just make it to 50,000 pls some people do that in like a month

-READ UR GOD DAMN BOOKS, u *cant* buy anymore if u dont read the ones u’ve already bought,,,, im willing to make an acception re: checking things out from the library................ but u rlly shouldnt IT WOULD’VE BEEN SO EASY TO WIN THE BET DUDE srsly..... maybe .... an hour b4 bed ? try to read ? at least try to read once a week dude....

-heres a curve ball WATCH MORE MOVIES !!! u say u love film well fuckin act like u do...... u only went to the movie theater 5 times all year and three of those were all in the last month to go see spiderverse, more than that HOW MANY movies are there on netflix that u see and go “oh i should watch that finally” or “people say thats rlly good bro” and u scroll right past to watch the same 3 fuckin movies i s2g

-oh yeah back to the writing thing, to reach that 50,000 goal u should write about what you read and watch, there u’ll prob meet the goal b4 summer if u do that bro but....u actually gotta do it....................

ok those r the 4 im REALLY gonna work on and try to keep track of in either of the journals sien got me :^) these next few i rlly want to happen but..... we’ll see

-make some friends pls.... pls be more friendly......... ENGAGE people when u have the opportunity askQUESTIONS about them like if they have a dog or a hobbie jesus h christ

-go out..... on ur own..... do stuff............by urself if u have to... go to the movies by urself go to a park, walk around down town for the fuck of it idk DO STUFF

-finish something............ for once in ur miserable life...................................... finish the vlog or the scrapbook..... or the reading list or this set of goals PLEAsE ANYTHING

im not even gonna put draw/art blog related stuff on here bc........ its not what i want........ like i love drawing and i dont think im terrible at it, im at a good place with it but i dont wanna put my energy this year into drawing stuff for the sake of me being able to say “i did it” like...... last yr and the yr b4 i rlly RLLY wanted to get better at art to idk prove that i could?? but like i havent picked up my drawing tablet in months ... that makes me really sad but i dont really feel like picking it up either? ? i said i wanted to take a painting/color theory/ life drawing class maybe i will this yr and it’ll reinvigorate my love of drawing........ tbh spiderverse got me *this close* to being pumped about art and animation and like yeah i still am, i love the medium and its still a dream of mine to be apart of it but it feels like a pipe dream if i try to go thru the art angle........ so many people r better than me at that and its not really what i wanna do,,, i wanna CREATE STORIES and worlds and characters and like i used my art to help *me* develop those but... i dont wanna use my art to do it for someone else i guess............. the art of animation itself still facsinates me so they door isnt close yet but,,, i wanna focus on the other aspect of myself that im more and at the same time LESS confident about lmao WRITING like alright,,, i think im a good writer .... sorta ? like yeah people tell me i am and sometimes when i look back on things ive written im like “dAMN i wrote this ???” but like,,,, there are some things to writing that still. escape me... like poetry.... and a lot of other aspects to it that i cant describe write now bc it would take too long and im getting cold and tired SO YEAH hopefully this english class will help me, even tho its just writting for college essays, i need to start somewhere and if shes rlly as good of a professor as rate my professor says then ill learn smthg new

where was i

well the year wasnt ALL bad, like i said i got the job at the library i wanted and FINALLY got to go to school, stressful as that mightve been........ and i got to see my love, my darling, the light of my life rhys again for one glorious week,, hopefully ill be able to see more of my friends this year? either in miami or milwuakee idc which MAYBE BOTH lmao im not that rich but hey i can dream,,,

alright its 1:12am i think im ready to sign off,,,,,,,,, here’s to DOING in 2019

🥂 cheers

#omg i talk #happy new year

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tanmath3-blog · 8 years ago

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My next victim is Brian Minekime. He is a great guy and really is passionate about his writing, art and life in general. He is always glad to help a fellow writer or a friend in need. Being supportive comes easy for him and he is always very genuine. That is a trait I have always admired about him. Having had several opportunities to beta read for him is always fun and always a great story. He has a lot of talent and you really want to read his stories! They have never disappointed me. He has a wonderfully creative mind. Recently he painted some gourds and they are beautiful. He is a man of many talents! The quote that follows is one of my favorites that an author has shared. Please help me welcome Brian Minekime to Roadie Notes…….

I think the most important thing I can say about myself is that I work my butt off-putting my heart and soul into my writing or my art when I’m doing that. I don’t do it for fame or fortune and continuing has come at great personal sacrifice along the way. Some days I think I should just call it quits and get a “normal” job, basically give up, then a new idea renews the creative spark and I can’t imagine doing anything else. I only hope that anyone out there reading this enjoys my work. I promise I’ll keep writing it as long as you keep reading it!!

1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?

I got a late start. When I was young I didn’t have the patience or focus to be able to write though I tried. I don’t count anything until around ’07 or ’08 when I was 35-ish I began writing a few stories. I didn’t get serious about it until 2012 when I decided I was either going to try to fail or create something worthwhile… I’ve been writing practically non-stop since.

2. How many books have you written?

I honestly haven’t kept count but I’d guess I’ve written at least 40 to 50 short stories, flash fiction, novellas and one novel (not yet published). My short story “Hell Awaits” was my first published story in Kill For A Copy from Dark Chapter Press. Then a flash fiction piece (1000 word story), Tamed Brute, was published in the eBook Flashes of Darkness: Halloween Special 2015 and lastly my short story, “The Bones of Baby Dolls”, was published in KIDS: Volume I from Dark Chapter Press. Most of what I’ve written are short stories and novellas but I do have my first novel written (which won the Dark Chapter Press 2016 Prize – a novel-writing contest), another novel approximately half done but another is bursting to come out so I’ll be starting on that very soon probably in the next couple of weeks. I have it plotted out as much as I ever do which isn’t much so getting it started is the next step but I have some other things to clear off my plate first.

3. Anything you won’t write about?

I don’t really find anything is off-limits depending on the setting though I can’t see myself writing about pedophilia from the predator’s point of view. My novelette Harvester of Sorrow (available FREE!) is about an abused altar boy getting his brutal revenge and the first short story, The Demon’s Name Is Surveillance, I ever posted on my website is about a child molester/murder being punished in hell but neither glorifies the molester, quite the opposite. That’s one of the things I love about horror is that there are no real taboos. My job as a horror writer is to take a reader where he/she wouldn’t go otherwise but for me there are shoes I don’t want to walk the proverbial mile in. When I write a character I am that character experiencing what they experience so rape and molestation are things I stay away from for the most part but again it all depends on context.

4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc...

To me age is just a number, I’m 44 but it’s only what you make of it. I really don’t think of it much unless it’s my birthday. I’m single now and in kind of “it’s complicated” relationship. I have a 22-year-old son who most mistake for my little brother when we’re out together. I did a fine job of turning him into a comic, horror and metal lover who also dabbles in some writing and music so I hope he finds his own success with his art. Creating has become the all-consuming beast in my life whether I’m writing or creating art. I started my website in 2014 (originally with a partner) to have an outlet for my writing which was getting rejected all over the place then it blossomed to also doing movie reviews and metal album reviews as well as some other fun stuff. I’ve slowed it down this year to concentrate more on my writing career.

5. What’s your favorite book you have written?

I’m all about whatever I’m working on currently. I like to think I improve with each new story though admittedly some can be duds, it happens. Ironically I’m currently re-editing the first real story I wrote back in 2012 which ended up as a novella at just under novel length with about 35k words. I had proofed and edited this story a couple of times but it’s amazing how much I’ve learned about writing and editing since then making for a much slower process than I originally anticipated. With any luck folks will get to read it soon though I can’t reveal the title because I plan on changing it but the working title is “Impending Doom.” It’s about a banker who wakes to his worst nightmare which only gets worse as it goes along with a few twists along the way. It might be important to note that I worked in the financial sector for about 15 years so the inspiration is a little obvious perhaps.

6. Who or what inspired you to write?

I could give you a laundry list of writers I admire but they weren’t the spark that got me in front of the keyboard. I was an avid reader for years devouring books but often finishing a book thinking “I could do better than that” and after a long run of books I read that I literally hated the ending of I decided it was time to put up or shut up. It took me about a week of thinking what I wanted to do then I sat down and began. I haven’t looked back since. So to answer the question, what inspired me to write were bad, uninspired and predictable stories. I didn’t start writing with delusions of grandeur but rather just to see if I could. People seem to like it so I think I’ll keep at it.

7. What do you like to do for fun?

Drink beer, watch hockey or UFC and eat chicken wings – real wings can only be found in Western New York! I also love watching movies especially horror obviously. Also if you can keep a secret *peeks around to make sure no one’s eavesdropping* when I’m completely alone I like to crank up some metal, head bang and sing along (generally poorly). Shhh, that’ll be our little secret.

8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?

I do but nothing anyone would probably even notice. I almost always finish with a flurry generally after an extraordinarily long writing session. I get excited when the end is within sight so 12-24 hour writing sessions are pretty much the norm when I’m near the end. Once I finish I lean back put my hands behind my head and try to take a deep breath, kind of basking in the accomplishment. In a sense patting myself on the back then I usually crawl into bed and pass out from exhaustion. Not much of a tradition but a tradition nonetheless.

9. Where do you write? Quite or music?

I write almost exclusively at my desk but occasionally I’ll sit in my TV chair which is more comfortable if I’m going to be writing for several hours. As for music, well, I couldn’t write without it. I have different playlists depending on what I’m writing but generally I listen to doom metal almost exclusively. Doom is very powerful, emotional music which helps put my mind in the right space to write. If I’m writing some action I might play some Slayer or something fast but it’s usually brief. A couple of albums I always listen to for a story of any real length are Kongh – Sole Creation, Pallbearer – Sorrow & Extinction and my personal favorite YOB’s Clearing The Path To Ascend. Music has gotten me through the worst times in my life so every tale I write shares a title with the music that inspired the idea. It’s my way of paying respect to something that has given me so much through my life. The only rule I have in that regard is that my story and the song must have different subject matter which is generally not any problem.

10. Anything you would change about your writing?

I don’t think I’d necessarily change anything but I do strive to take what I’ve learned to make the next one better. I make fewer typo mistakes than when I started which makes proofreading quicker and I’ve edited enough of my own work and others to recognize subtle errors I used to miss like redundancy. The only major thing I’d like to add, not necessarily change, is more complexity. I believe in working your way up to things and what I’m building toward is an epic trilogy that’s been rolling around in my head for years. I don’t think I’m a good enough writer to pull it off yet but I’m getting there.

11. What is your dream? Famous writer?

I have no dreams about being rich and famous, if it happens it isn’t something I have much control over. My dreams are far more humble. I’d like a nice comfortable life that I can enjoy. No longer worrying about where I’ll live tomorrow or what I might have to eat. I’m a simple man with no extravagant taste. A small house with a small yard, a couple of dogs & cats and Satan willing even a good woman by my side. That’s all I really want, a nice quiet life and to continue writing until the day I die.

12. Where do you live?

Right now I live in the middle of nowhere in the country about one hour south of Buffalo, NY just above the Pennsylvania state line. It’s nice and quiet here but who knows where I’ll be tomorrow.

13. Pets?

Currently I’ve been adopted by a 13-year-old cat named Corky though he responds better to Boobers, don’t ask me why bc I don’t know. He enjoys disrupting my writing process by trying to lay on my lap while I sit at my desk that’s when he isn’t outside trying (but failing) to catch chipmunks.

14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

The rush I get when I get a killer idea or when I’m on a roll and my fingers can’t keep up with the story. Athletes call it being “in the zone” but for a writer it’s when you breeze through a few thousand words in just an hour or two. I’ve spent days “in the zone” and I’ve spent weeks or even months waiting to be. Much like a surfer you just have to ride the wave as far as it’ll take you then paddle your ass off to catch the next one.

15. What is coming next for you?

I really wish I knew but I do have tons I’m waiting for an answer on. First off, I’m one of 14 finalists competing in “The Next Great Horror Writer Contest” through HorrorAddicts. The grand prize is a book contract with Crystal Lake Publishing! The contest involves numerous writing challenges until the winner is announced in October. You can keep up with my progress simply by listening to their podcast. Then my (not so) short story “Cold Heart, Cold Soul” has been accepted by Stitched Smile Publications for a Seven Deadly Sins anthology with a tentative release set for late this year, sometime between October and December if all goes well. Stitched Smile also posted a short story I wrote for fun, Smoke & Stone, just a few days ago if you want to read the last thing I wrote. It was completely written in one day so don’t judge it too harshly. Aside from that I currently have six short stories and novellas pending approval with various publishers. My goal for this year was to submit, submit and submit some more so to that end I have a list of over a dozen anthos I plan on submitting work for as well as the novella I’m re-editing currently and the novel itching to get out of my head. It should be an exciting year for me so all I can really say is “like” my Facebook page where I post updates as I receive them. I should hear about some soon but you never really know in this business. All I can guarantee is that I’ll be pumping out the horror this year including some fun ones like a Mrs. Claus anthology! I’ll be posting updates as often as possible on my website, Thy Demons Be Scribblin, where you can also find a ton of short stories I’ve posted over the last couple of years.

Feind on the web:

Amazon Author Page: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B01AH12BVM?ref_=pe_584750_33951330 Website: http://www.thydemonsbescribblin.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/FeindGotteshorrorwriter/ Twitter: @FiendGottes Tumblr: Feind Gottes

Some of Brian Minekime’s books:

Getting personal with Brian Minekime My next victim is Brian Minekime. He is a great guy and really is passionate about his writing, art and life in general.

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athleisure-aesthetic · 8 years ago

Photo

Ugh I did the thing again where I was busy all week and forgot to post on here. So here’s a lightning fast recap of my workouts from the past week, if you care at all. I actually think I worked out (ish, except Friday kinda) every day which is a first in a while. Bless.

Tues Mar 21 Abs and shopping. I went home after work to get my car so that I could drive to trainings the next two days, but went out to Target as soon as I got home, cause duh. Stupid idea to try on like real clothes tho, my self-conscious ass was like ohhhhh no way you need to tighten up those saddle bags and that back fat before you get any of this. So. I got a crop sweatshirt and athletic leggings, felt bad about myself but hadn’t had dinner, so I went to Wawa. Woof.

3x each 15 reps straight leg raises 15 reps roll ups leaning camel x 45s bird dogs x 45s 60 reps heal touches plank 35s, 40s, 45s 10 reps assisted push up 40 reps russian twists 8# alternating superman 1 min 15 reps single leg pulses

Wed Mar 22 Run on the trail after this horrific training class in which I was literally the only student for an all day session. And I had to go back the next day 😩 went to Marshall’s before my run to see if I could find any cold weather gear bc I only had my sweatshirt, gloves, wool earwarmers, and thin leggings. Didn’t find any of that, but got those AMAZING NEON PINK LEGGINGS IN THAT ONE PICTURE and some other ones too. You know me, can’t stay away from that athleisure ish.

It was hella freezing and took me so long to warm up once I started on the trail. Fortunately it was so picturesque and my music was bangin so. I survived.

2.78 mi 9'55" min / mi

Thurs Mar 23 6 x 200m sprints on the trail. Bless up, convinced my instructor to finish early bc tbh he was not really all that helpful once I started following the book that was included, so I went to the mall and got some more athleisure (deh), cheap sunglasses, athletic ear warmers for $.50 each, a VERY cute lightweight rain jacket, and (!!!!!) these black leather slip-on sneakers I’ve been looking for for like 6 months. I just caved and got the name brand ones but stILl omg I’m so excited about them I finally found them.

Started the sprints in the cotton leggins I was wearing, then after like maybe 9 or 10 strides I was like oh FUCk no they suddenly lost all their elasticity and I was having to pull them up for my life. So after completely embarrassing myself hoisting those mothereffers up for my first sprint, I jumped in the car and changed into spandex pants, then zoomed back to the trail start and actually did my workout. Good thing my house is only 8 minutes away from that part of the trail.

I think I may have mis-read what my Nike app was telling me to do, but I’m pretty sure it said to do 6 x 200m sprints with 4:45 min in between. So that’s essentially what I did, I sprinted for the 200m and ran / jogged in between. Although the app only recorded the distance for the sprints, I wanna say I did a little more than the day before, since I went further on the trail. I hate that you can’t go back and check what it told you to do; you only see how you actually ran according to the app. Lame af. Though I was proud, I increased my sprint speed at almost every length except the 3rd.

0.77mi 6'59" min / mi (lol can’t believe I actually ran a mile faster than that at one point in my life holy shit)

Fri Mar 24 No real workout here, since I had to leave work early to take the train back to le Nova for Palooza. I scarfed down a Snap pizza (the classic spot) right before the show, and somehow stayed away from the dangers of late night college food. Though I did get all my steps in my showing one of our friends’ home friend around campus, and apparently that little tour counted for a nice brisk walk. Obvi the Snovas killed it, as a great opener for what my friends and I dubbed AcaWeekend. Saturday they’d be competing at ICCA regional semifinals #pitchperfect for the first time ever, which was so exciting. Palooza the day before was just their warmup, but fortunately we got to see two new songs from them. It kinda sucked for them though bc they went first out of the seven groups and the sound guys always need a few groups to warm up before they actually refine the balance, and they just sounded muddled. Womp. Oh well. Everyone knows they’re/we’re the best anyway. Proud alum.

Sat Mar 25 Run in the morning before the day’s festivities. This was a quick workout before most of the humans who stayed in my apartment became humans, a brief mile ish to the waterfront and back. I realized I’d been wearing a blueish shirt and black leggings in literally all of my pics lately so I spiced it up with these fun stripey ones. Lol.

We adventured to brunch, where I had a yummy spinach and goat cheese salad with fig dressing, and wandered around the city for the afternoon before we had to head to semis. I splurged on Hunger Burger at RTM because I told myself that this was my indulgence for the weekend, and I wasn’t going to be drinking anymore for the next few months (it’s not like I do it that often anyway, I just want to try it to see how it helps my training/weight loss, if at all), so I got a specialty thin mint shake. Woops. Honestly, it was so worth it though, and I didn’t even end up eating most of the fries anyway, so it wasn’t the worst I could’ve done.

At semis, there were literally so many good groups and we were all like oh shit how are they going to stack up?? But Snovas SLAYED even better than they did last time and ENDED UP IN THIRD PLACE WHICH IS THE CRAZIEST BEST HONOR WE’VE EVER GOTTEN AND IT’S JUST SO COOL!!!!! A cappella is the shit, guys, I swear. I’m so proud of those kiddos, and they get to submit a wildcard video for a chance at Finals in NYC which is like legitimately insane. They’re somewhere in the top 18-27 groups in the country right now, and coming from a school where we legit don’t have music majors and a joke of a music activities staff / support, this coulD NOT be cooler. They murdered it. And so did all the other groups at semis, like damn. We weren’t even sure anything was gonna happen for them, but they clearly did some things right. Ugh so obvi we celebrated when we got back to Philly, going to a few bars and ending up at Frankford, where we got some amazing soft pretzels and other snacks. Best day ever.

1.26 mi 9'21" min / mi

1.32 mi 10'03" min / mi

Sun Mar 26 Long ish run and relaxing. Got up and was worried about the weather forecast for Monday because I was supposed to be doing my long run for next week then, and it was going to be torrentially downpouring all day, so I was hoping to switch my days because the weather was decent enough that I could’ve done it on Sunday. But then I updated my app and A, it changed my schedule for this week anyway, and B, I remember I could’ve moved it anyway if I wanted to. So instead I went and did that 5K Sunday challenge thing that it introduced. And I ran back from there, so it actually was closer to the 5 miles I had wanted to do anyway. So ya.

I felt a little subconscious in these leggings because, though they are a spectacularly bright and amazing color, they also show my cellulite on the back of my legs… but I thought, fuck it, people will see me, and if they give me a look, I’ll just push harder and show them that cellulite means nothing if you’re fast and capable and strong. So. I used it to empower me, I guess.

Spent the rest of the day relaxing and watching ICCA videos, still hyped up on the Snovas victory. Legit it’s still coming to me in waves, it’s actually incredible.

3.11 mi 9'41" min / mi

1.53 mi 9'44" min /mi

Mon Mar 27 Full body circuit and a benchmark run. Work is starting to bore me so much lol on Monday I think I may have done approximately 2 work related things all day, otherwise I was just distracted. I decided to do a NTC workout and then my benchmark, so I chose Body Flexor 2.0, which worked a lot of different areas and was pretty fun. Then I ran on the treadmill for my benchmark for the first time, which was weird knowing my exact speed at certain times and being able to force myself to a certain pace. If I have to do it that way again, next time I’ll just cover the numbers and just focus on how it feels to push hard. The picture up there is me literally dying because of how sweaty I was. Plus fun leggings from Marshall’s.

1.54 mi 9'49" min / mi

Tues Mar 28 Abs / some arms, plus 20 minutes on the elliptical. I was an idiot today, and not only forgot a hair tie after my shower, but I left my phone at home, which I realized too late in the elevator on the way to work. Nice. So I had to go without both all day, though Kelly let me borrow a hair tie so I could work out thank GoD cause I was looking at using a legit rubber band, which would’ve been awful. The moves I chose for abs today ended up also working my arms a lot, which was nice to combo them. Because I didn’t have my phone, I just kind of had to make up my elliptical workout, which was meh but whatever. Next time I’ll be prepared. That’s definitely not my favorite type of cardio anyway.

Tonight I made these AMAZING baked zucchini fries, I probably could’ve eaten like 90 million in one sitting they were so crunchy and good. My sweet potato fries didn’t turn out so good (I actually burned the shit out of them, but I’m going to attempt to eat them tomorrow for lunch anyway 🙃) but I’m happy I’m trying new things in the kitchen, even if it’s taking me like 3 hours each time lolol.

I’m down a few pounds from last week, though, which is kind of nice! A little affirmation after working hard every day.

3x each 15 reps dumbbell side bends alt. sides 8# 15 reps twisting core stabilizers alt. sides 8# 15 reps bow extensions alt. sides 8# 15 reps woodchops 8# 10 reps windmills 5# 40 reps russian twists 8# 30 s plank 7 reps full extension inch worms 15 reps in-&-outs

Wooooof I’m going to try to post more often now that I’m all caught up. Lol it may last for a day but you know. #Goals.

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