#literally dont know if this is anything buuuut

[clairesbeauchamp]

BRIDGERTON (2020 -)

1.04 | 3.02

[aluraveil]

yandere ex pm dazai x reader

im imagining a scenario where it turns out that pm dazai doesnt really love you and that you were just a toy for him to play around with..

you're angry and rightfully upset and you're in tears and sobbing. you thought dazai loved you and it turns out that he didnt? what a sick joke.

buuuut then dazai sort of realizes that he's alone without you. there's a sick feeling of regret crawling up his spine.

and once he starts to regret, it hits him hard. he went from not caring and then did a whole 180 and started to miss you a lot.

once hes in the phase where regret eats up at him, he's quite literally scary as fuck. all of a sudden he becomes more agitated, more selfish, and has less patience.

all of his subordinates and people working under him can tell that dazai is a time ticking bomb about to explode. when he regrets, dazai becomes more aggressive and downright scary. if his men fail a mission they are all getting severely punished. dazai just doesn't have the patience anymore.

it doesn't get any better when he becomes the port mafia's boss. if anything, he becomes even worse. if you thought mafia executive 'Demon Prodigy' dazai was scary, you haven't seen anything.

as the boss of the port mafia, dazai is naturally in charge of everything that happens as he quite literally is the highest ranking member of the mafia because he's the leader. during the time period he takes over as the boss, nobody even wants to mess with him.dazai has much more influence over everything during this time and you can bet that he has been watching over you for quite some time.

it doesn't take long for dazai to snatch you back up. he quite literally was 'suffering' and in so much 'pain' without you even when it was clearly his fault. you cant blame yourself for leaving him. who wants to be with someone who doesnt love you? nobody right?

during this time, he tries to run into you by coincidence. at this point he sometimes runs into you if you worked at a restaurant or something. he tries to play it cool but you both know what his true intentions are and it doesn't need to be said out loud.

you however, are downright terrified. this is literally the same guy who committed 625 counts of fraud. 625. not to mention he is the literal boss of the port mafia. the boss. the frickin boss.

you're scared because you dont believe he will show any mercy towards you. this is because the two of you arent 'lovers' (you don't know if the both of you ever were because dazai didnt hold any feelings for you) and he probably sees you as nothing more than a stupid idiot. this is not the same dazai you loved. this is the dazai that doesnt love you meaning that he doesnt care about you which in turn means that if something happened to you, he just straight up doesnt care.

he starts calling you 'belladonna' and 'darling' again which feels awkward and disgusting. whenever he calls you that you straight up wince and cringe and you don't even try to hide it. there's a whole wave of awkwardness that lingers in the air when you just reply back with a "..hi?.." dazai senses that the tension in the air is so thick that you could slice through it but him being him he just straight up dgaf.

you're not thrilled to see him whatsoever. when he comes here he doesn't even order any food and just tries to talk to you. he always leaves you a huge tip when he does leave though. you never take it though. you dont want his money. the next time he does come you give the money back to him and but he refuses to take it back saying "you've been working so hard belladonna, you deserve to treat yourself." again with the belladonna thing. it doesnt feel right for him to call you that at all.

dazai knows that youre refusing his advances but it doesnt stop him from trying. afterall you loved him once. thats all that matters. its only the results that matter in the end right?

right?

...

maybe.

[lovely-keii]

being their sibling

characters: tsukishima kei, oikawa tooru, suna rintarou

a/n: i write a fic every time i rewatch hq LOL sorry ik i said im abandoning this blog buuuut…happy bday to this blog!! (repost from 1/5 because tags broke :(( )

part 1

TSUKISHIMA KEI

looks out for you, but he can’t help that hes so emotionally constipated :’( he tries to give you advice because he genuinely is concerned for you but just is unable to word anything properly. see: “you need to stop talking to that person, you’re being a pushover,” but he just wants you to realize you’re letting people walk all over you.

god forbid he has to comfort you because hes the wrong brother for that - you’re definitely in better hands with akiteru. he might walk in on you crying and contemplate if he’ll even say anything or just ignore it flat out, or he’ll say something like “don’t cry, you look stupid.” if you cry more, he’ll end up swallowing his pride and sitting next to you. he’ll groan and reluctantly, “fine, spill it.”

other than that, he’s going to be a sneaky little prick. definitely the type to take revenge on you if you annoy him. you eat the last piece of chocolate he was saving and suddenly you find your charger hidden deep under your bed. also loves to take things without your permission. “why? i’m just using it, it’s not like you need it now.”

if someone picks a fight with you, he’ll be quick to extract you from the situation before saying something ruder and harsher than usual to the person. and if you tell him you like someone from his team, he’s going to look at you like you’re crazy. “are you insane?!” he’s honestly more bewildered than upset. doesn’t let you anywhere near the gym. he can make an exception for yamaguchi though. “at least it’s not hinata…or worse, kageyama.”

OIKAWA TOORU

your life is never boring with this guy as your brother. you’re literally being dragged everywhere, practices, shopping, team events… you’re like “i’m not even part of the team.” he goes “we can fix that!” and the next day you find out that you’re the manager for the boys’ volleyball team. huh, wonder how that happened.

oh my god, he MILKS you being his manager. “hold my drink, my fans are calling.” “y/n get my towel please.” you’re absolutely seething at the power trip that this guy is on. eventually, you start doing all that for his other team members and not for him, and he gets so whiney. “y/n you’ll get big ugly iwaizumi a towel but not your own sweet brother?!” that earns him a spike to the head from iwaizumi.

he tells you all the gossip about the school, because believe me, he knows A LOT of things. he’ll do his skin care while he forces you to listen to his gossip, cue him getting mad if you try to leave. everyone realizes why you two are siblings when you two walk down the halls and pull the exact same faces at the people he’s told you about in his gossip.

he makes you his little scapegoat for his fangirls. “oh, you want my number? you’ll have to ask y/n for that, they keep my phone with them during practice!” (you dont) “now, why don’t you girls hand all these gifts to my lovely sibling for me?” (you almost immediately chuck them at his face when you see him) but you know the best way to get back at him? when he sees you even slightly conversing with ushijima or kageyama, all hell breaks loose.

SUNA RINTAROU

the devil if the devil was your brother. he takes the ugliest pictures of you, when you’re asleep, when you’re yelling, when you’re crying over a movie. he also loves to send you pictures of animals and send a “look at you in this picture, so cute”. he also takes your things without asking and never returns it, you’ll just find it in his bag one day.

he also is one to order you around, and it drives you mad. “pass me the remote, y/n.” “but it’s nearer to you.” “i’ll tell mom that you-” // “y/n get me a drink from the vending machine.” “why would i do that” “remember when you snuck out and i-” // “get my bag too when you get yours.” “no.” “what i post that one picture of you when you’re about to sneeze-”

but he’s always looking out for you. when creeps try to approach you, he’s quick to react by shooting them a nasty glare. he’s a silent kind of care. standing behind you on elevators, walking on the outer side of the sidewalk, staying up late til you come home and just telling you he just couldnt sleep. little do you know, it’s something he’s always done even as a kid. putting more food on your lunch box, holding the corner of tables when you pick something up so you don’t hit your head, returning your things that are sprawled around the house to your room so you don’t lose them.

and if he ever finds you crying over some guy, he sighs and sits down next to you. “why’re you crying over an idiot?” he then makes snappy insults at the expense of the guy, making you laugh. “see? you look better like that. now stop crying and let me get some sleep.” he closes the light and shuts the door on his way out.

[midnight-mourning]

DECEMBER IS OVER!!! New Year, What's Next?

Well chat, with literally three minutes to spare we finished out DCA December IN December, and then of course you got a little bonus thingy as well hehe :)

So! Having said that, wanted to take a moment to talk about some plans, what to expect to see from me next, and so on

BUT FIRST, I would like to take the time to thank everyone who sent in requests for this little event, I appreciated every single one of them, and had SO much fun writing, I hope everyone enjoyed the little stories I wrote, couldn't have done it without everyone sending in such creative & unique ideas, thank all of you so much!

@monsteractiasluna @juukai @deviouscrackers @zenkaiankoku @buzzybee3 @fishm0ther @divinit3a @zoranight16 @cosmic-quakes @soupdweller @lizyxml @pip-plz @theinfamousmaybelle @lizyxml (again <3) @rosescarletful @crystalmagpie447 @buzzybee3 (again <3) @kaprisvn @vypridae @twomanypockets @zenkaiankoku (again <3) @juukai (again <3) @rosescarletful (again <3) @rosescarletful (again <3 <3 thank u tempest you helped feed the people fr) @twomanypockets (again <3) @pip-plz (again <3) @divinit3a (again <3) @baby-bloos @alynwrench @baby-bloos (again <3) @ccccaptain-clownyyy @luckyyyduckyyy

Additionally, thank you to everyone who liked, reblogged, or commented on these fics, it's so very appreciated (I would tag everyone but there are, a startingly large amount of you 😅) I will come clean and admit that I am always a little nervous when I upload my writing, so knowing that people enjoy my work when I share it is, humbling, to say the least <3

Okay! Now to get into it, below the cut just so people dont have to scorll through my rambling plans & such (there is a POLL however that even if you skip my nonsense you should vote in pretty please ^-^)

So, despite some shortcomings with me getting a bit behind (curse you sinus infection & finals week) I'm really happy with how this went!

I'll be taking a break for a bit and def will NOT be posting as much as I did near the end there, BUT I'll still be writing per usual, especially since I have two weeks left to my break. Before I get into what you can expect to see, wanted to do a quick interest check on whether people would like me to do something similar for Valentine's!

Since I'll be back at college again I won't be able to do a full month again, buuuut, I should be able to handle 14 days worth, if the interest is there I would open up requests probably the last week of January so I had time to get started/ahead. So,

Rules would be the same as for DCA December, except with a Valentine's Theme!

Now that that's taken care of, here's what'll be going on with me as we start 2025!

I'm working on Holiday Spirit ch. 2, should be posting either today or tomorrow! Still aiming to get it done before I go back to school so expect quicker updates now that requests are finished :) (you can find out more about this story here)

Confused Spirit ch. 36 is also in the works! I'll be honest in that my sinus infection JUST cleared up a week or so ago, and additionally i've been facing a bit of writer's block with the story just bc of where we're at and I want to make sure it's really good/properly expresses what I'm going for with this fic, but I'm working on getting more out to you all soon, as well as working on getting ahead again while I have time, thank you all for your paitence with this one, it's very appreciated <3 (if you don't know about Confused Spirit, you can find out more here, it's my current main dca project :D)

DCA December will be reviewed for spelling and grammar mistakes and be uploaded to ao3 throughout January, if you'd like to read anything again (or you're wanting to get caught up and have a better reading experience) you can see the masterpost here, which will have the ao3 link once I get started on editing

Getting into non-fic things, I'll also be working on organizing my blog so things are easier to find as I know it's a bit messy currently >_< bear with me as it gets fixed up

I really want to improve on my art! After collecting things up for my 2024 art summary, i realized I've improved a lot but still have more room to grow (and many ideas that I want to see made by a more skilled hand >~<) so, expect to see some art things from me floating around including but not limited to: my trick or treat responses (im sorry these are so late, it's brutal out here), Cast of CS refs, more Holiday Spirit doodles, magma things, CS chapter promos, & new refs for the CS boys! there's some more things i have planned but I am keeping them a secret for now ;)

Okay! Think that's everything, thanks again to everyone for making this a whole lot of fun, and can't wait to share more with you all in 2025! Happy New Year!

[sparklingdemon]

grggrgrgrg i dont know where else to put this but i dont know how to explain but i hate when everyone coddles cody its like NOOOO! like yes they shouldnt suffer a horrible punishment but who are you to say what they did is nothing! or to just blatantly just put hate to charizard because shes holding them accountable for their actions! Just because cody is your blorbo does not make what they did right! you cannot forgive them because you are not the victim! sure you can forgive them for lying to you the entire time theyve known you but well to me that also brings up the question of. well what truth have they actually told me.

im not hating on anyone specifically or anything i promise its just like NOOOOO!! STOP!!! THEYRE NOT A LITTLE BABY WHO NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED FROM BIG EVIL CHARIZARD!!!!!

KILL!!!

(joke)

I believe cody needs to be looked at in a realistic light. like "hey cody that was fucked up. buuuut... well youre already in a prison of your own making so there isnt much more i can do. youre already paying for your actions."

Maybe thats just my thoughts i just always feel like a feral animal like this whenever everyone is comforting them

maybe that is how i feel about cody in general on a variety of fronts though they are my chew toy <3

FOR REAL IT'S GENUINELY SO CRAZY SEEING PPL JUST GOING "that's it?" AT THE FACT THAT CODY KNOWINGLY KILLED THE CHILDREN OF THEIR OWN CREATION. they did the thing that these players have literally threatened to kill EACH OTHER over. like, it's not just a one-off instance. there has been a RESOUNDING amount of support for cody in monochrome's inbox right now.

BUT that said, there ARE some people who are saying exactly what you have of, "i forgive you for lying and what you did was bad but you've already been punished for it" and even some people who do feel genuinely angry at them so it's not like EVERYONE is just blindly coddling cody. so that's good.

i'm trying my best to make it clear from a narrative perspective that what cody did was a Very Bad Thing and that charizard isn't just senselessly bullying cody over something that wasn't their fault. i know that was the false narrative that cody was fostering in peoples' heads for the past two years, so it's going to take a while for people to unlearn what cody misled them into believing and fully accept the gravity of cody's actions. charizard might be harsh but she is the voice of reason here to expose not just cody's true nature but also the hypocrisy of cody's players. it'll be fun to see more of her from now on.

[loopscereal]

Pero no lo hicisteee final 100 hrs have been entered

fred by himself cause i did his shoes with everythign and the little meat texture. Why would i do that if its not mesnt to be visible? May god know cause i dont. uhh the background. yeah ok. uh Fred doesn't have to reflect Freddy in clothes or hairstyle anymore! Boys uniform! Higher, tighter pony tail! also their little jacket. Make up around their eyes, and they have gained acess to COLOR. Hes no longer restricted to shades of purple, too bad hes emo and will only branch out to red TOT. anyway yay for them. uhh uhhh also he has a new sparkle. he has a little yellowy orange sparkle in his chest, right on their tie. they didnt have that before :) new sparkle

im glad were all miserable about how fred is on the floor but also agree that freddy looks best when hes at his worse! keep up that look, youre a natural !! bbbbuhhhh

SUELTENME SUELTENME SUELTENME SUELTENME SUELTANME ok normal, hi pia :3 glad you noticed. im so diseased about when they swap colors in canon.... wughgh misery...

not so fast! theyre both so fucking bad at this game! the game being existing. Fred feeds the body and like. the most basic of maintenance but they too mistreat it in their own special way <3. ANyways how does this scene change? uh. god. i feel like it adds a lot ofc content but i dont. know. thinking about camp makes my head scream... as i imagine it mutates and changed even after having drawn these. living organism....

in my head their body "prioritizes" freddy a lot, like. IF fred is in control while freddy is sleeping, and freddy wakes up, it sorta auto-kicks fred out if they arent prepared and get caught off guard, BUT freddy isnt exctly. too present. hes not the most anchored person to his own self so if fred, can simply push him out pretty easy so long as they arent abnormally weakened, and if they were to fight for it fred will typically win. As for body auto responses, i think it does eventually kick the current pilot out, or mess things up and force them both in or both out, ("how does that work" sh sh sh dont even worry about it... <3 please.) buuuut i think it takes a long time for the body to get to that point, to the point where it does those auto responseds. Freddys gotten it pretty used to well, itself. it doesn't send out the signals that it should, or at best, not as strongly.

Okay why is Freddy all glitchy when out side and not sparkly? beeecause well. cromatic aberation occurs when a lense fails to align and focus wavelengths of color all on the same point. What the hell does that have to do with freddy? (what the hell happens int hat goddamn highschool?) uh! hes totally unfocused. in his entire self. and in his worldview, his view of strangers, of his friends, family. exc. Hes got like at least three different "lenses" he can view himself in, and at least two "good or bad" lenses he can see any given person through. IF anything is certain about him, its his instability. In idenity, in stances, in views, in beleifs, in emotions, in everything. An so, he gets the aberation efffect, cause he is !!! pulling!! apart! no focus, no stability , no alignment, no trust, no brother, no one to rely on, no money, no goals, no self esteem, no style, no shoes, no affirmation, no bitchessssssss also i have freddy at like 18 opacity (and the cromatic aberation layers are also at 1* so lets charitibly say hes at 50 total) and Fred is at like 80/85/90 on any given drawing of these, because freddy literally has less soul. uh. magic stystem or whatever freddy was emoty enough in the cup that holds his soul that he could fit a shadow, who turned into a whole ass person instead of some litttle creature...... fucked up. empty ass. anywho. enough of that miserable prick. freds got glow and sparkles cause hes got a lot of soul, hes got a lot in him, and would shine under any circumstance. stand out in some way bc hes just. like that. he is absolutly bursting at the seams with STUFF that is just not being let out. Hes curious. they wanna learn andexplre and live so fucking badly, the want to live and exist on their own terms and its so much passion and drive and will to live all bottled in this little being unable to be expresseddddd. one of these is more positive than the otherrrrr im sure theres sone negative side i missed on fred and a positive side to freddy that i missed but uh. its. 12am as i am writing and scheduling this so.....

if i had a dollar for every time i thought abt fnafhs id have 1 dollar bc i have not fucking stopped.

[alcarian-does]

Alright, Elder Scrolls Question! What's an Elder Scrolls retcon you refuse to accept because the previous answer was So Much Better? Mine is how they did khajiit dirty in ESO

ohh idk if this counts as a retcon, may just interpretive differences but I didn't like how ESO handled Vivec, and broadly the Tribunal's, Godhood.

It's all definitely up for interpretation and I also haven't played Morrowind or ESO in a little while now so may be wrong (if I am feel free to execute me) buuuut:

in Morrowind (again a lot up to interpretation) the Tribunal are Gods. Their Godhood does come from the Heart of Lorkhan, but it feels less like a power source and more like a tether. The only threat to that Godliness is Dagoth-Ur (also a God (what a grand and intoxicating innocence)) messing with their connection to divinity, and also potentially Divinity altogether (hence why Azura gets involved and sends you the Nerevarine).

however then in ESO, the main Vivec quest line is dealing with him losing his Godliness but it's put across like someone is draining their Magicka and it's literally just Some Guy doing A Spell and if I remember right there's barely any mention of good ol Dagoth Ur at all and it just feels more like the Tribunal are Big Magical Powerful rather than Gods in their own right. Also it made me think of the Odinsleep in the MCU and that's not a good thing.

Also unrelated but I kinda hate how in Skyrim there's that thing about dragon battles being a "deadly verbal debate" but like it just isnt theyre just blasting each other with elements. Like I know they couldnt actually do anything more than that, it is a game and the idea of implementing an actual debate system for combat makes this designer's heart collapse but like just dont say that it is a debate then yknow?

Also tell me about Khajiit, I didn't really mess with them in ESO much. (Or previous games, I may be a cat girl but they just made them so ugly imo D:)

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

your hcs have intrigued me immensely and i would also like to know about funkobra if its not too much trouble :]

'if it's not too much trouble' babygirl i am literally in love with you shut up

ghoul is Never Ever Ever Ever Allowed to drive Python [kobra's bike]. well, he's not allowed to drive the Am either, but kobra enforces the rule so much harder than party. its fine though, ghoul likes riding with his arms around kobra's waist anyway :) [< oneshot idea hello.]

kobra's such a simp, like when ghoul puts even the teeniest tiniest effort into how he looks [even just like. cleaning the grease and sand and blood off his face] kobra's like. oh. hi. hello. who is this beautiful person i see. and incredibly embarrasses himself blushing. god forbid ghoul puts on eyeshadow, kobra'd DIE

one time they tried to bake together. the oven blew up.

they like watching the stars on the roof above the diner

ghoul has nightmares a lot, and kobra often wakes up in the middle of the night to find him crying, so kobra has to comfort him. usually the best way to fix it is to just hug him really really bone crushingly tight until he falls back asleep.

that's also why they never sleep in the dark, there's always a few candles on, or the blinds open so the stars light up the room

ghoul's really religious, but kobra and the witch are tight, which makes for some... interesting dynamics. ghoul's all 'kobra you have to respect her!!!' "if you're praying tell that bitch to stop resurrecting party on witchfucker wednesday"

kobra has a tattoo gun, and he's always adding ones for ghoul. the most recent ones, he got all their joy symbols done down his collarbone. kobra kisses those.

they make dumb bets all the time, like 'if this coin flip lands heads then i get all your rations for a week' "if you dont clear this jump you have to sleep outside tonight" and then jet has to come in and be like. no no. you don't get to starve eachother just because you lost a bet. you dont have to commit to the bit that hard.

kobra teaches ghoul to read, but he still likes kobra reading to him best

ghoul will only ever use petnames in spanish [i read in a fic somewhere that he was half spanish and i love that so much and now its canon to me] like, he'll never say babe or sweetheart or anything, only hermoso and los querido and mi corazon

ghoul loves bright colours and stuff, so he has a bunch of necklaces and beaded bracelets and stuff that kobra made him which he wears everywhere, even if they're under his shirt or whatever and you can't seen them. his favourite one's red and yellow.

kobra def gets really avoidant when he's anxious, and he just closes himself off from everyone, getting into a 'what if they all secretly hate me' mindset. ghoul always has to remind him no :( i dont hate you :(

they find an abandonded tin of nitrous and try to make ice cream one time, it actually works out better than they expected. buuuut then the girl gets sad because IT'S SO GOOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO MORE

one time ghoul //accidentally// left his bomb wip in their room. he slept in the diner booths for a week after that.

when ghoul started dressing more fem, kobra was GONE. like party has had to leave the room several times because the staring was getting embarrassing. kobra kid simp agenda!!!! im so serious!!!

:D it is literally. eleven thirty so i need to Stop but !!!! the sillies ! !!!

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hey Silly (can I call you that from now on?) it's been a while! How you doing?

I saw your prompt list and I just thought why not? So, the character I'm choosing is Father from C:KND (obviously). The tropes would be; #2,#5,#8

Just y'know, angst :>

Prompts 2, 5, and 8 with Father

woo yeah its been a while since we've touched the tropes list! and yes you may keep calling me silly, or admin! or admin silly when addressing me on this blog! I uh.. never gave an intro for myself and ive kind of stuck with the silly/admin name since people started using it for me LMAO prompts: sick, hanahaki, mutual pining notes: reader is gn, all prompts are treated as separate scenarios but hindsight is 20/20 as i realize these would have been fire paired up together as one connected thing cws: sickness and general hanahaki stuff

SICK

i might make a post where the roles are reversed, buuuut

i think, benedict is the grumpy kind of sick

but to be fair when is he not at least a little grumpy/j

will stay in bed so at least you dont have to worry about fighting him to rest- he already feels crummy and besides he can afford taking some time to himself to just.. lay down

a little snippier than usual

assuming his natural body heat doesnt kill off or hinder anything that can make him sick, hes running even warmer than usual.. something something warmer bodies being able to slow down infections + from my understanding a fever is just the body attempting to fight an infection

so logically it makes sense that hes burning hot

not very clingy when sick nor does he go out of his way to crawl out of bed to seek you out

HANAHAKI

okay hear me out: hes the one with hanahaki. as much as i think he would move forward with asking you out, i also enjoy the idea that he tends to self isolate. something something mini character analysis/heavy hc that he swallows up a lot of his more vulnerable feelings and/or translates them into anger something something a lot of that being a product of upbringing something something i am grandfathers number 1 hater

burns the flowers and petals before anyone can ask about them, however i do think as the sickness progresses he slowly loses his powers. quite literally sapping him of his energy

honestly i can see him going through the surgery route just to get rid of the plants

no happy ending here, sadly... even worse if you actually had feelings for him as well, unaware to him

becomes more snappy with the people around him, lashing out from worrying over the sickness as well as the pains (emotional and physical)

MUTUAL PINING

that said if he has feelings for you that dont make him cough up flowers, i think hes more inclined to ask you out since it makes it feel less... "life threatening" and "subtly begging for his life if we're going the route where feelings need to be returned otherwise the person dies"

i do think hes at least a little oblivious, at least in the beginning and if youre not being blunt- his mind is always working on what evil deed to do next!

very receptive when he does realize youre flirting with him, it doesnt take long for the two of you to go on a date

dont let this think that he has rizz, by the way. hes still inexperienced but he has just enough confidence to... (scrambles with papers) lock in, becomes clear with time that he hardly knows what hes doing LMAO

leaves gifts for you leading up to the two of you going out, and they tend to be higher quality or even a baked good hes overheard you mention enjoying

[sunset-bridge]

P3 THOUGHTS NOW

THANK. sorry it took me a bit i was in the Horrors BUT IM JOE BACK..

OK SO . just. collection of thoughts i had these last days about p3. also sorry for being an ocd haver . evrything is about anxiety to me but i think im not misinterpreting things

my thoughts with some p3 spoilers under cut (I MEAN IT OK dont read if . spoilers)

The evoker:

it makes sense cuz its like staring death (fear) in the face every day to live (use your persona) it forces the user to face their fear in a way that seems very Real to their brain but . it wont actually Kill you it never does even if it feels like it Will . like. controlled shock of Dread to call your little guy out and its probably needed actually like the. fear. if u didnt feel fear while using the evoker ur persona probably wouldnt come out at all Something about being alive.

Fear(the dread):

how fear shows that ur Alive. and thats like the main thing. we all know dread of death in specific is the theme in p3. but its also about how to deal with the Dread (dread about. anything in general) Like in burn my dread, how it says that the daily dance of fighting with the shadows (shadows being your. fears and unconscious) reminds you that you still live. And how aigis first real Human Emotion was fear and Dread. Something about how only things that are alive and have a soul can feel fear and bleed. Etc etc

also noting how everyone (yuka, junpei, akihiko, mitsuru, ken, shinji, koro, fuuka...literally everyone) faces their fear of death or their own type of dread at some point. and they all react differently. because everyones different. but they are all alive. and thats wonderful.

Tartarus and shadows :

ok hear me out. this may be more specific to ocd havers BUT ALSO. ocd its doubting anxiety disorder. i definetely feel dread about stuff and . the fear of death in particular is like a Theme you can have in ocd. so. to me! tartarus... its life. life arena. as i said. like in burn my dread. the daily dance with your anxiety and fears. YOU HAVE to confront them if you want to keep living . BUUUUT I REALIZED! i understand! you know how SEES at first fought and tried to defeat the big shadows, and they thought this could end the whole thing? but it turned out thats exactly what nyx and ikutsuki wanted to happen? THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. trying to fight and "defeat" and antagonize your dread to try to "get rid of it forever". it does not work. not like that. in fact, arguing with it Fighting with it. it only wears you down and makes your Dread stronger. exactly what happened. the team tried to combat and "erase" the fears, but they only made them unite and become stronger in the process.

so then what? just ignore them..? NOPE

the real way (real)(the real)(not the ideal):

As a verified ocd and Dread(tm) haver. You have to acknowledge the thought. dont cover ur ears and pretend its not there. BUT ALSO dont argue with it. dont try to combat it; it only wears you down and makes the fear stronger next time. Acknowledge it exists. And move on with your life without interacting further with it. Dont obsess over it. Wayyyy easier said than done, but . This is where the burning the dread comes in. Burn your fucking dread and keep walking even if you're so scared.You WILL BE so scared but you have to keep running. If you want to see light again you cant just sit there. keep moving keep living keep running. with the dread? yes do things scared but DO THEM! Your fears cant get the best of you, they cannot prevent you from living in the first place!

With death in particular, its a bit tricky, because this is one fear that is True and Inevitable. You will die. BUT the dread shouldnt paralyze you into not living at all in the first place! Again way easier said than done when you have a death anxiety and obsession. But the process is the same. acknowledge. move on. keep living. the dread will come . Burn it. keep walking and walking and walking and lose yourself in the present and keep running and never stop moving.

burn my dread final battle (i love the song):

ok it gets its own section.. I LOVE THIS DAMN THING...i also love normal burn my dread tons but like. this one ooooooh boy.

its no mans land. (the dread) if you conquer this you will be king cuz no ones ever been here like you been here before. its daunting but you can do it. invisible hands (your friends) are always behind you.

the "race against rage" SO TRUE race against trying to "fight" the thoughts the fears.

what sees did fighting the shadows WAS in vain as we have seen. but this show isnt over yet. and it does feel like ur being chased by something beyond you. (the dread) (you gotta live it persecuted by heaven)

the anxiety. it comes from nowhere at any time (comes from the direction no indication). but as mr lotus juice says. let it move first. let it out let it loose. just . let it do its thing dont even argue with it. let the dread wash over you. drop the hammer. dont fight remember? dont argue.

get scared. then lets get it up! keep living. the best thing you can do to put your methaphorical middle finger to the dread is to . keep living . enjoying things. it feels so straining at times BUT it will get better . you are all beaten up but you're not gone yet no. not done here. get up and at em boy!

pride of the living :

id like to close my thoughts with the idea once more of. fear reminds us we are alive. it sucks ass but its a part of living and personally i. never felt more alive as when i realized i feel fear because I AM human and I AM alive. dead things dont feel fear. objects dont feel fear. its such an. alive creature thing. of course you feel fear. dont be tough on yourself. but again. regardless. you cant let it paralyze you into not living at all. keep running !

[chaoxfix]

🌿✨️💫

ty for asking!! <3

🌿 how does creating make you feel?

hmmm... interesting question! i think, more than anything else, it makes me feel focused in a way i rarely get otherwise. when im really in the zone i can just write for 3 hours and its all usable, because i know exactly how the characters are behaving and what they need to achieve in this scene. when im unfocused it's difficult to write at all because i lose that channel into my own imagination. and then i feel relieved that it's written and that i succeeded at capturing what i needed to, and glad to share it with others, if its something shareable

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

ohhh ... man, i mean, in a lot of ways i think i'm pretty spoiled. people talk a lot about my fics as it is, so i dont feel like i need to ask for much attention or validation, seeing as im already extremely grateful that so many people like my fics as much as they do.

buuuut, on the other hand, there are patterns of fics that people don't really give a chance.

so i think, i would love it if people got really into prime numbers, or the fic i posted recently with sonic and sally post-genesis wave, or my forces 06 au (still a wip but i lose motivation for it bc. well. its another sally fic that'll get ignored). people just don't really care much about sally.

and on this note, ... id also love it if people liked the one with amy more, the one i did for platonic fairytale week. idk if the name weirded people out (all the titles were from major songs in the disney movie about the same tale) but like. damn. a few people really really loved it (and thats really all i need) but i do think it shows some sad trends. people just don't really read fics about girls as much as they do ones about guys. (the exception seems to be with rouge fics, which perform about as well as other fics.)

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

ahh... for this one, again i will say that i've been VERY spoiled, but there are a few readers who, when they comment, it's frequently like... a 5 page MLA formatted essay analyzing characterization. the type that actually make me red-faced from being perceived, but in a really great way. imagination-junkyard and featheryDragons have left several like that, and every time i see them in my comments i get giddy because they really point out line by line through the entire fic what they like. but because i know those kinds of comments take ages (i know bc ive left comments like that before and . yeah - it takes a long long time, you have to truly love a work to spend that much time reacting, it really is a labor of love) my second favorite type of comment is the ones that tell you a lot about how a line or two made you feel along with just the entire vibe of the fic. <3

though -- its also a trip when i google myself and find stuff about me/my fics on platforms im not even on (like twitter and tiktok). like... ur saying nice things? even where they literally have no idea if i'll see it? you really do like it? omg...

thank you again for asking!!!

[liquidstar]

hi this is still going around and i kinda wanna clarify something for all the tags that are saying "omg character A would say this to character B because theyre a dummy <3"

first of all im all for blorbo tagging, especially with greek characters and headcanons! love that shit! go nuts! buuuut just in case anyone actually intends to use this in writing: SAYING "MORO MOU" IS NOT THE SAME AS ACTUALLY CALLING YOUR PARTNER A MORON!

when you use it in that context it really does just mean "babe/baby," no one who uses it would actively be thinking about how the old etymology would mean it technically means moron. that's more of just a funny fact. like, when we call our partners baby in english, we're not thinking about how it can also mean someone who's overly sensitive.

no one in modern greek really says moro to mean dumb anymore. its sort of clunky and weird to say. youre more likely to say "hazo" (stupid) or ilithio (idiot). which are also mean, like, dont call your partner that!

however, if you are writing a greek speaking character and want an alternative, i simply must introduce you to "re" (pronounced like "reh" not "ree") ill explain under the cut

see, the word "moro" becomes "more" (moreh) when directed at someone. this eventually became shorted to "re" which is a word that doesnt quite have an english equivalent.

its usually used as a prefix, you put it before someones name when referring to them (it only works in second person). for example, "re kosta, where are you going?" < this implies that the question is somehwat rhetorical, you think kosta is an idiot who doesnt know where he's fucking going. or "re stephano, cut that out!" < stephano is an annoying dumbass, "re" is being used to emphasize this fact.

so typically adding the "re" prefix to someones name is an insult, a shorthand way to make your statement more insulting, and just sort of refer to people disrespectfully in general. however in a friendly context, it can also show closeness- its casual and lighthearted. it doesnt imply stupidity so much as silliness, and can even be seen as positive. this can just sort of depend on tone. an example of the latter would be "re kristina, how have you been?" < this implies a casual atmosphere and general excitement to see kristina, "re" reinforces closeness with kristina.

the difference is so slight but it's definitely there in the way its used. the tone changes the meaning. saying "re niko!" in an annoyed tone implies insult, while saying it in a positive tone implies friendliness. of course you do have to be careful with this- even in a friendly way, this level of Casual isn't something youd have with your boss or teacher. (people youre meant to talk to with the Respectful way of speaking, something english doesnt really have either)

so yeah if you want a Real authentic greek way to casually call your loved ones idiots, in an affectionate way, this would be how to do it! you can even drop the name all together and just call someone "re"- the name is implied. even just saying it in its own can be used to be like "dude." or "dude???" and It may sometimes be lengthened to "vre" for emphasis

anyway if you made it this far you must actually care about this kind of stuff, so let me give you some other terms of endearment you could use that are actually Nice: "agapi mou" (my love), "matia mou" or "matakia mou" (literally "my eyes" but more along the lines of "light of my eyes." the -aki suffix is a diminutive), and "kardia mou" or "kardoula mou" (my heart. -oula is another diminutive). these can be used for either romantic partners or children!

also the insult a greek character should use the most often is malaka. maliciously and negatively. its like how irish people say cunt or brittish people say wanker (in fact thats the literal translation). that word means a lot to us. and yes of course, you can totally say "re malaka!!!" and this could mean anything from "you stupid son of a bitch i'm going to murder you" to "my awesome close good friend, its so good to see you!"

now you know!

funniest language thing in modern greek is that the word for baby/infant is “moro” which literally means “idiot.” like someone looked at a baby 1000 years ago and was like “this guy doesnt know shit.”

[spawnofthedivine]

man i hate this brain why are visuals so hard to comprehend or create. vent below 🎀

tried flag making once more just for fun and it has never been more apparent to us that we ARE, in fact, absolutely clueless when it comes to visuals. literally no idea what to do with colors or shapes or designs or anything, no ideas. brain completely empty no inspiration no nothing. we have never even THOUGHT in images we think in purely words and script symbols ( think : unicode ) HOW DID WE FORGET THAT???? HOW. we already have a super super hard time making rentrys or pfps and text decor, how the fuck did we think we could make FLAGS?

we would Love to join mogai tumblr as term ( not flag ) coiners and such but we do not make flags, they are quite literally impossible to make with the way our brain works, its also why we quit art ( and probably the reason why we arent able to improve or change our artstyle ). and flag making is like.. THE thing for mogai blogs. we havent seen even a single blog that does text/script only content, if those were more common then we'd absolutely make a blog and join them. buuuut its not.

and of course its absolutely humiliating to not be like the majority of people in a group, even if its unlikely for anyone to genuinely dislike us for not being like the rest

it doesnt help the fact that we barely recognize regular visuals as is. we dont know the color wheel by heart. we rarely recognize peoples faces. or where the local stores are, even ones we've been to hundreds of times. or what order colors are on a flag. or how many colors there are on the flag. or what the flag looks like at all ( "i think it has yellow?" wrong, it was green! ). we only have a slightly easier time with numbers/script characters

[dothemindything]

hey full offense mr “im not emo”, but have you ever considered how many of us there are that arent ghosts and dont just fade away into nothingness but yet still somehow keep on chugging???????? theres not some big cosmic force thats only supposed to keep you around if youre ““needed””, because there is no meaning to life or anything that comes afterward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its all made up and the points dont matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think trying to base your existence off of your role in relation to others is easy (see: all of my fuckshit shortly before i fucked off to the corn for a bit there) buuuut that is itself also lame because no one is perfect, including me (as hard as that may be to believe!), or my dave, or you, or anyone else!!!! its just about having fun, like playing stabtag, or learning how to literally steal eyes, or licking an amish persons cookie and handing it back to them (i dont think they have amish people in texas, but its worth a look!), or idk, learn a kpop dance or something! basically all im saying is that it is literally not that deep bro, and you look like one of those toddlers that manages to drown themself in a couple inches of water while the rest of us hot bitches have moved on to sunbathing at the beach. now at least one of these is probably the correct image out of the depths of my phone, but i think the russian roulette aspect of this is more fun. this way you have to interpret my intentions!

YEAH, WHATEVER.

PUTTING ALL THAT ASIDE, AND MY GENERAL UNEASE AT THE FACT THAT YOU'VE SOMEHOW ACCOMPLISHED A MULTIMEDIA ASK (WHICH I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW WAS A THING???), STABTAG IS STILL NUMBER ONE PRIORITY.

SO I GUESS WE'RE AT A STANDSTILL UNTIL I GET THAT FIGURED OUT. IT'D PROBABLY NECESSITATE SOME TELEPORTATION GIMMICK, SO I HOPE YOU STILL HAVE TRANSPORTALIZERS OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE.

[girinma]

thoughts on avatar 2: avatar for dads (i have many because its 3 hours long)

tldr NO MORE PLOT i want three hours of walking around and looking at fantasy nature. lets go to riven.

nothing like pocahontas 2. 0/5 stars.

story is bad as expected but i had to see it. HOWEVER maybe it is nostalgia talking but i remember the 1st one looking absolutely incredible but this one... i think a marvel film looks similar now. like there were some scenes that were obviously showing off and better than anything else, buuuut it wasnt the whole thing. i did see it in 3d and i did get a headache during but i cannot tell if it was the film or just my fucked up reactions to barometric pressure.

HIGHLY recommend going in not remembering anything from the first one because then youre just like wtf the blue people dont have five fingers??? how many do they have??? PANDORA IS A MOON???

creature design was so fantastic, exactly why i came. dunkleosteus shark, turtle whale, many fun worms. so good. that being said it was really funny that the corals at night were doing the coral fluorescence under UV. 

water looked good, particularly when it was overcast and raining. but like not much to say there.

they made the sea people maori????? hello???? call me a hater but go farther with your alien cultures. i dotn know why i was surprised. 

i vividly remember from avatar 1 that after watching my parents were discussing the parallels in the narrative that i didnt even notice and really taught me about like. critically viewing film. but the parallels here were kinda funny. the whaling ship is whale shaped (which is so fucking obvious when it rolls over and they have water coming through cracks like its blowholes). whaling guy getting his arm ripped off by the whale whose flipper he cut.

the entire movie is a dad movie for dads. its all about dads. sick of dads by the end. do something else. 

i dont understand the whole arc with the human kid because like. he seems to be found family at the start but then at the end they act like its a revelation?!?!? what the fuck????

glad the marines are still bad. hooah.

many questions about how the blue people work. why do the sea tribes and forest tribes speak the same language but have physically different adaptations. what. i think their head tails should be prehensile.

IT WAS SOOOO FUNNY when they killed the oldest son because the whole time i was like “they literally gave him no character wtf” and then when he died i wasnt sad it was just “oooooooh thats why they wrote him so poorly”

they really named the main son character noah while giving the other son a more alien name. shcoking.

i was so mad this movie had the same villain as the first and i was SOO mad when they saved him only to have him be the villain in the next one. BOOOOOO give us a better villain. i was like :O when he got choked to “death” and it just ruined it.

felt weird that the very beginning didnt really show any of the rest of the tribe except the family???? like i get that they dont care about fleshing out anyone but pleaseeeee

mechs were great i like the crabs one the best. the whole whale hunt scene was good, had good emotions. there was chinese or kanji on one of the machines and im unsure if that is because its supposed to be blade runner on earth or just because its a whaling ship????

WHY DO THE CLONE LAB BLUE PEOPLE HAVE TATOOS WHO IS TATOOING THEM IN SPACE IS THERE AN ARTIST AT THE MILITARY BASE

ok. the plot. why are they chasing him down. hes just one guy. with one tribe. why did they add that the earth is dying. what is the point. why is anything happening. why did they even go to the sea people.

i havent been to disney avatar world but i do think its even weirder now. i dont think disney people should be allowed to go to pandora.

PETTY PETTY point but when the chieftess of the water tribe is talking to her spirit whale she is doing space sign language with subtitles, no spoken dialogue, but shes mouthing the words in english?? that should have been in fantasy language.

so like.... they didn’t have avatars in this one? like its just lab blue people, normal blue people, and humans. theres like 2 scenes with avatars. why did they name it avatar. there arent avatars. you forgot the avatars. 

james cameron said put those blue bitches in the titanic. that being said it was fantastic visually.

i HOPE that they have sigourney weaver voicing a teen because it is the original consciousness of sigourney weaver (like how the reborn marine colonel or whatever the fuck his title is sounds like the original) because it is weird. weirder because of the romantic hints between her and spider. maybe cameron is just giving her the check here but i hope they have a reason for it.

the sea tribe home was just riven man. myst guys get their asses.

im just. can you imagine an actually good story set in the avatar world. 

will i watch the next one? yes. im simple. 

[yawnjunn]

lego flowers - yeonjun

☆ lol i had motivation to do this one so yes i did this one, im currently writing beomgyu's fic but anyways. this fic probably have some bad grammars idk (ik i said this too much but yeah)

╰┈➤ warnings: FLUFF FLUFF!!

╰┈➤ yeonjun x gn! reader btw :)

you were one to get bored easily especially when yeonjun is busy building legos.

this time you were really really bored, yeonjun is out to buy some ice cream just because you were craving for it

youre craving for ice cream? he'll get you some. craving for cakes? he'll buy one for you. craving for chocolates? he'll buy lots and lots of them for you

literally, this man will buy you everything and knows every single details about you

hes head over heels for you and only for you

"Y/N !!! IM HOME WHERE ARE YOU LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT"

you quickly ran over to the door to greet your boyfriend (but actually you just wanted your ice cream)

"I didnt hear you unlocking the doors but anyways welcome home, wheres my ice cream?" you eagerly asked

judging by him holding 2 bags, one is a lego bag and the other is just a normal plastic bag,

he definitely bought more than an ice cream..

"a quick kiss and i'll give it to you"

you, ofc, gave him a peck on his lips (lets be honest who wouldnt want to kiss his lip?)

"cookies and cream ice cream just for my baby" he reached the ice cream that was in the plastic bag, handing it over to you

"and whats that?" you asked, pointing the lego bag

"legos of course" he replied to you in a happy tone

you groaned knowing your boyfriend would be focusing on the legos and ignoring you for another hour

"buuuut i have a surprise for you too"

oh? a surprise?

"i figured you might like it" he reaches inside the lego bag, handing you a lego box with lego flowers on the front cover

"wait...are we gonna build legos together??"

he nodded with adoration in his eyes

"I always notice you getting bored whenever im building legos, i dont want my baby to be bored, would i?" he said, pinching your cheek in cuteness

"that hurts you know" you gently rubbed your cheek with an annoyed face

"it hurts? aww im sorry baby" he then attacked you with kisses all over your face

you see, the thing about yeonjun is that he may look cold outside but hes very affectionate and loving to the people he loves (especially you wink wink)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"babe. feed me ice cream please. I need energy." he asked with his eyes still focusing on his legos, building it carefully

you grab a spoonful of your ice cream and feed him like hes your little kid (well tbh he IS a little kid himself)

you were also building your lego flowers on the floor while he builds his own legos on the coffee table just bcs he needed more space for his legos cause its usually big

it turned out to be fun actually, with you talking non sense while building and yeonjun just agreeing to whatever you said

your conversations with him went a little bit like this:

"lego flowers would match our bedroom"

"yea i know"

"this color is pretty"

"mhm"

"the last dinosaur to ever exist mustve been lonely knowing all his friends went extinct"

"yeah so lonely. poor dinosaur"

not that you mind him ignoring you, you were used to it anyways

it was all fine until one of your lego pieces went missing

you went "oh no.."

and yeonjun's first instinct is to look at you after you said that

"why? did something happened?" he asked full of concern

(damn, yj went protective so quickly 😩)

"one of the lego pieces is missing"

he lets out a dissappointed sigh knowing you and him will have to search for it

"no no its okay, i can find it on my own, you can go back to your legos" you kindly offered yourself to find it before he could say anything

BUT

hes like "no, we're finding it together"

after what felt like hours searching it (honestly it took 10 minutes), you finally found that final piece to complete your lego flowers

"and...im finished" as you put the final piece on your creation

you and yeonjun clapped softly with a small 'yayy' dw, its a cute habit you two developed while dating

"you look so proud" yeonjun pouted at you, taking out his phone to take photos of you

"smile for me baby, hold the flowers straight"

yeonjun really do be acting like those moms who forced you to pose as they take photos 🥲

"thanks for the new lockscreen" he said as he kissed your forehead as a thank you

"are you gonna be putting my photos as your lockscreen everytime you captured one?"

"yes and?"

you rolled your eyes jokingly at him

youre lucky to have such a loving and a caring boyfriend who babies you most of the time even tho you didnt ask for it