#literally any problem i have she starts yelling about it and when i try to say it is not about her

[straightlightyagami]

coming to believe it is all their fault I am like this it’s their fault I am always afraid and on edge and unstable and that loud sounds or everyday situations make me scared. I do not care about leaving because I cannot really leave because she is in my brain she is in my brain she is in my brain. if family is always like that then it was a mistake. the concept of parents was a mistake.

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

[ID: A priest in a confession booth looking shocked]

[pretty-circa006]

Mystery Man

Sugar Daddy! Coach! Negan x Cam girl! F! Reader

summary you finally find out who your mystery man is tags online relationship, meeting up with a stranger you met online, making out, almost sex, dirty talk, male masturbation, age gap

wc 3.7k words

part 1

note here's part 2! also thank you so much to all the people that follow me. it makes me really happy to know that that many people like reading what i write! and extra thank yous to the people that leave comments and repost. comments make me so happy, like kicking my feet and giggling happy!

*you are responsible for your own content consumption. if this is something you DO NOT like, simply DO NOT read or interact! :) *

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ 

Ever since her video call a few weeks ago with the man online, they’ve been messaging each other quite frequently. It’s mostly flirtation and nudes, but it has quickly become her favorite part of the day. He even gave her his number so they can communicate outside of the camgirl website, but despite all this, they still haven’t seen each other’s faces. 

“Who’re you texting?” her friend asks as she tries to get a peek of her phone. 

“Nobody,” she snaps, turning her phone away from the other girl’s view. 

“C’mooon, lemme see!” she pushes trying to grab her phone. 

“Britney, stop it!” she urges and she hold her phone away from her nosey friend. Britney glares at her disappointedly, but stops trying to grab her phone. 

“Sorry, it’s just that I wanna keep this relationship kinda private until I know where it’s going, y’know?” she tells her friend half truthfully. 

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go out before Coach Negan starts yelling at us again.” Britney leaves and she can finally resume her texting without any prying eyes. She reopens her messages and sees a picture from the man. He’s shirtless, revealing to her the tattoos on his chest, and palming his erection through his boxers, but of course his face isn’t in it. The text that followed reads Just watched some of your videos. She smiles to herself before typing back maybe one day you’ll get the real thing ;). Before she can get carried away, she shuts off her phone and puts it in her bag before joining the rest of the team out on the field. 

Coach Negan shouts her last name angrily and beckons her over with his hand. She rolls her eyes, feeling irate, and trudges over to him. He stands impatiently with his arms folded over his chest, his hazel eyes glaring down at her. 

“What?” she snaps, coming off a bit ruder than she intended. 

His glare hardens, but he doesn’t say anything about her attitude. “I just thought I’d let you know that this is the third time this week that you’ve been late to practice,” he states the obvious. 

“Okay? I know. Sorry, but things came up. What’s your problem?” she half truths. The things that kept coming up were more messages from her mystery man and she tended to lose track of time when it came to him. 

“It’s actually gonna become your fuckin’ problem because if you keep showing up late, you’re gonna put your track scholarship in jeopardy.” 

“Why is that any of your business‽” she asks defensively. 

“Despite you being my worst student, you are the best on this team, so it does benefit me to keep your rude ass around.” 

She glares up at him, matching the glare he’s already sending her. Shame washes over her, not only from slacking but from having Coach Negan of  all people call her out on it. Her scholarship isn’t something she can afford to lose, literally. Even though it only covers half of her tuition, it still helps a lot. 

“Well if keeping me around benefits you, maybe you should stop being such a dick to me.” 

He laughs sarcastically, exposing the dimples on his face along with his perfect teeth, before his face returns to a deadpan. 

“Or you can just get your shit together. Now go warm up with the others before you piss me off any further.” 

“Ugh!” she screams before leaving to join the others. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ 

As soon as she gets to her apartment, she tosses her bag aside and flops down onto her couch. She pulls out her phone and checks her messages with the mystery man to see if she has any new ones. When she sees that she doesn’t, she opens the camgirl website to see if maybe he said anything there. Disappointment swells in her chest when she sees that there’s none there, either. She almost feels dumb for being so hung up on this stranger. The stranger she’s never met in real life and doesn’t know what he looks like. But talking to him makes her feel good, like someone actually cares about her. Even if their conversations were purely flirtatious and sexual, she can’t help but feel something for him. So she sends him a message. 

@ virginesque hey 

@ BigBadWolf Miss me already?

@ virginesque yes actually how was ur day?

@ BigBadWolf It was alright. How about yours baby? 

@ virginesque kinda shitty tbh. school sucks but talking to u makes my day better :)

@ BigBadWolf You must really want another tip, huh lol 

@ BigBadWolf sent $100.00

@ virginesque no, i rlly just wanted to talk to u :( 

@ BigBadWolf Well aren’t you just the cutest. What do you wanna talk about baby?

@ virginesque idk i kinda been wanting to get to know u better. u seem interesting 

@ BigBadWolf Well what do you want to know?

@ virginesque what do you look like???

@ BigBadWolf I don’t even know what you look like haha

@ virginesque fair. how old are u??

@ BigBadWolf 45, you?

@ virginesque 20 but i’ll be 21 soon 

Their conversation strayed away from the usual exchanging of risqué photos and flirtatious banter and instead they got to know each other by taking turns asking questions about one another. It’s almost two in the morning on a week day and their conversation is still going. 

@ BigBadWolf Do you accept gifts? I want to send you a gift

@ virginesque ooooh what is it???

@ BigBadWolf You’ll have to be patient and wait until you get it

@ virginesque fine :( u can send them to my PO box

@ BigBadWolf When you get it, I wanna see it in your next stream 

@ virginesque oh? no private video just for ur eyes?

@ BigBadWolf You can send me a few pictures ;)

@ virginesque cant wait :D

@ BigBadWolf Goodnight babygirl, it was nice chatting with you 

@ virginesque night! ♡♡

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ 

Almost every day since the mystery man said he’s gonna send her a gift, she’s been checking her P.O. box on the way home from school. She’s gotten mail from her subscribers before, but it was usually weird stuff like disgusting fantasies about her, cumsocks, and other depraved things. But she knows her mystery man is nothing like those weirdos, which is why when there’s finally something in her P.O. box, she’s excited. 

As soon as she gets to her apartment she tears open the box and inside is a package from an expensive lingerie company. She tears open the package and inside is a quarter cup bra in a sheer white color with little flowers embroidered on it and a matching g-string. She hurries to the bathroom and changes into it. The bra doesn’t cover anything and even if it did, you could see right through it. What surprises her most is how perfectly each garment fits. She puts on some natural looking makeup before standing before the full length mirror in her bedroom. With her phone, she snaps a few pictures, each one a different pose. 

@ virginesque sent 6 attachments 

@ virginesque u like?

@ BigBadWolf Wow, it fits you perfectly. You look so fuckin sexy

@ virginesque thanks, i love it ♡

@ virginesque im gonna go start my stream now, maybe we can call after ??

@ BigBadWolf Can’t wait :) 

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆ 

“You looked so sexy on that stream, doll,” her mystery man compliments. This video call is a lot like their first one. Neither one of them showing their faces with only their bodies in the camera’s frame. 

“Don’t I always?” 

“Of course you fuckin’ do. Every picture you send me tightens my pants.” 

She giggles, smiling like a fool, but luckily he can’t see that. 

“I wish I could be there to help you out. I’d let you fill any hole you wanted.” 

He frees his cock from his sweatpants and from what she can see he doesn’t have any underwear on. 

“What else would you let me do?” he asks, his hardened dick in his large hand. 

“Hmmm, I’d be wearing a cute little dress with nothing underneath…”

“I’d never be able to keep my hands off you.” His hand begins pumping his achingly hard cock. 

“And I wouldn’t want you to. I’d let you take me whenever and wherever you want. Over my kitchen counter, the backseat of a car, the back of a movie theater, anywhere.” 

He lets out a grunt as he urges himself to his peak. “I’d love to fuck you on my motorcycle.” 

“You have a motorcycle? You just got even hotter.” 

“Sure do. I’d be happy to take you for a ride sometime.” He curses as he increases the speed of his hand, successfully making himself cum. 

“I…I know it’s all just dirty talk and fantasies, but would you really wanna take me for a ride?” she shyly asks. 

He pauses for a second, but the anxiety she feels during that pause makes it feel like an eternity. 

“I…I mean, yeah of course, baby, I’d love to,” he stammers. 

“M-maybe if we do…we can make all these fantasies reality,” she seductively suggests. 

“You are getting me hard all over again just thinking about it. I know you live in Virginia since that’s where your P.O. box is and lucky for you, I do, too.”

“I’ll text you my favorite restaurant and we can meet there!”

“How’s this weekend sound?”

“I’ll be there in my little dress with nothing underneath.” 

“And I’ll be there ready to take it off.”

“Five o’clock?” 

They agree on the time before wishing each other a good night and ending the call. 

Saturday felt like it took forever to get here, but when it finally did she started to feel nervous. She stands in front of her closet and looks at the few dresses she has. Deciding on a lavender colored mini sundress, she upholds her promise to her mystery man and wears nothing underneath. She even paints her nails and does her hair and makeup nicely. The reality of the situation dawns on her. She’s really about to meet up with a random man she met online, but for some reason, she trusts him. He’s nothing like the weirdo fans that have sent her weird shit or left creepy, almost threatening comments on her posts and streams. He’s charming, generous, and has a huge dick. What more could she ask for? 

It’s a quarter til five once she gets to the restaurant since she likes to be early. She grabs a table by the window and sends him a message telling him that she’s here and sitting by a window. Someone calling her name causes her to flinch and look up from her phone. 

“Coach Negan? What’re you doing here?” she asks rudely. 

“It’s a goddamn restaurant. I’m obviously here to eat.” 

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “Okay, whatever, bye.” she shoos him away with her hand and pulls out her phone to text the mystery man and ask where he is. He texts back that he’s here and asks where she is. She replies by telling him what she’s wearing. Coach Negan comes back over to her table, but this time he looks shocked and pale. He sits at the table, across from her and looks her in the eyes. 

“You…you’re not virginesque…are you?” he asks dryly. 

As she looks into Negan’s hazel eyes, it feels like her entire world came crashing down around her. Her stomach turns into knots and she’s not hungry anymore. 

“Y-you’re big bad wolf!?” she says shakily. Tears prick at her eyes due to the realization that the mystery man she’s been crushing on is her mean track and field coach. 

He sighs and runs a hand over his face. “Holy fuckin’ shit.” He holds his head in his hands and refuses to look at her. She can’t look at him, nor can she hold back her tears. At the sound of her sniffling, Negan looks up at her. 

“I can’t believe my coach has seen me naked,” she sobs. 

“This isn’t easy for me either. My student has seen my penis!” 

“Why didn’t you tell me it was you!” she asks incredulously. 

“I didn’t know you were you!” he argues. 

“Oh my god, I’ve masturbated in front of you…to you! I…I’ve sent you nudes a-and videos,” she cries into her hands. 

“I’ve sent you dick pics and thousands of fucking dollars!” he bemoans. 

Through their bickering, neither of them notice the waiter approach. “Hi, my name is Tyler and I’ll be your server for tonight,” he places menus, napkins and silverware on their table, “Can I get y’all started with anything to drink?” 

“Not now, Tyler!” she shouts between sobs. He looks at her, offended, before walking off. 

The atmosphere is incredibly and awkwardly tense. Now, Negan has not only seen her naked, but he’s also seen her cry. That man she met on her live stream was nothing like Coach Negan and to see that they’re the same person almost makes her nauseous. Coach Negan is a mean, foul mouthed dick who makes her contemplate dropping out of track and field every time she goes to practice. Her mystery man is caring, charismatic, a gentleman even. 

“Look,” he says, grabbing her attention, “I know this is weird as shit for you because it’s weird for me, too. But the attraction we felt to each other was fuckin’ real.” The more she hears him speak, the stupider she feels for not realizing how similarly he and the mystery man spoke. 

“Yeah,” she agrees, “and I appreciate all the money you’ve sent.” 

He sighs as if he doesn’t want to say what he’s about to say, but says it anyway. “And I do enjoy our late night chats and video calls.” 

“Me too. Talking with you was my favorite part of the day,” she admits, trying not to cry again. 

“I don’t want this to end just because we already knew each other,” he confesses. 

She looks away from him and down at the table, nervously biting her lip. “But you hate me and I’m not the hugest fan of you either. How could we possibly not end this?” 

“I do not hate you. You only know me when I’m your coach. Outside of that, I promise you I am the man you’ve been talking to.” 

She mulls over his words for a moment before taking a chance and letting her worries go. “Good, because I really like him.”

Negan waves the waiter over and they order their food. The atmosphere is less awkward when the food comes and she’s starting to feel comfortable with him being Negan. They finish eating and he covers the bill. 

“Y’know I wasn’t kidding about takin’ you out on my motorcycle,” he tells her with a smirk on his face as they walk out the restaurant. She follows beside him as he takes her to his motorcycle.  

“Wow, it’s nice,” she comments unsurely. 

“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted me to take you for a ride?”

“I do, it’s just that I also wasn’t kidding about wearing a little dress with nothing underneath…” 

He stops in his tracks and turns to look at her. His hazel eyes scan her body and a smirk spreads across his face, bringing attention to his dimples. 

“You are way sexier in person,” he compliments, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He takes off his leather jacket and ties it around her waist. 

“We won’t go too far, so that should hold you over.” He puts a helmet on her head before putting one on himself. She gets on the bike behind him and he grabs her arms and wraps them around his waist. 

“Hold on tight, baby.” 

He takes off, causing her to hold him even tighter. She watches the scenery pass by as he drives by the coast. The full moon shines beautifully over the ocean as the waves crash along the sandy shore and it soothes her. He stops at an overlook that has an even better view of the beach and climbs off the bike and takes off his helmet before helping her off. She unties his jacket from around her waist and hands it to him, but instead of putting it on, he drapes it over her shoulders, which she's grateful for considering the cool weather. 

"Wow, you really are different when you're not coaching," she teases. He lets out a laugh and wraps his arm around her shoulders and guides her to overpass' railing so they can get a better look at the view. She watches the waves and Negan stands behind her, watching the scenery too. He hugs her around her shoulders, holding her close to his chest. It's an oddly intimate position for people who just met, but when she's not thinking of him as Coach Negan, it feels right. 

"Any other fantasies you wanted to live out tonight?" he whispers in her ear. The feeling of his facial hair and soft lips brushing against the shell of her ear sends tingles down her spine. With his teeth, he gently nips at her ear before pulling away. She turns around to face him and smiles seductively. 

“If I remember correctly,” she bites her lip and slides her hands up his chest before holding onto his broad shoulders, “you said you wanted to fuck me on your motorcycle.” His tongue seductively swipes across his bottom lip before a smirk grows across his face. His big hands slide down her body before cupping her ass. 

“Oh, baby, I was hopin’ you’d say that.”

“Really? Even after you found out I’m the girl you were talking to?” 

“Doll, even before I found your cam girl account, I always thought you were undeniably sexy.”

Warmth spreads across her face at his admission, even though it contradicts the way he treated her during games and practices. 

"Yeah? Well, I can't say I'm disappointed to find out someone as good looking as you is my mystery man," she flirts back. 

He grabs her by the back of her head and pulls her in for a kiss. Having been caught off guard, she gasps, but wraps her arms around his neck and deepens the kiss. His tongue forces its way through her soft lips and she welcomes the intrusion. He picks her up by the backs of her thighs and she reflexively wraps her legs around his waist. She can feel his hard-on through his jeans against her bare pussy, causing her to moan into his mouth. The need to breathe forces her to pull away from him. 

“Negan,” she pants, “I want you to touch me, please!” 

“Patience, baby,” he urges. She pouts and grips his shoulders tightly as she grinds against his clothed erection. Negan lets out a repressed grunt, suddenly regretting asking her to be patient. He carries her back over to his motorcycle and sets her down. He pulls his jacket off of her and hangs it on the handlebars. 

“You look so goddamn delicious in that little dress,” he states as he ogles her. 

“Wore it just for you.”

“I can’t wait to unwrap my present.” A cheeky, dimpled smile lights up across his face as he unzips the back of her dress and peels it off of her body, revealing her naked body to him. Eagerly, she undoes his belt, then his jeans, then pulls his hard cock from his boxers. 

“Wow, it looks bigger than it did on video call.” 

“Just wait til you feel it filling that pretty little pussy.” He sits on the seat of the bike and pats his lap. 

“Wanna ride me on my motorcycle,” he jokes. Her eyes drop to his cock before smiling up at him and eagerly nodding. 

“Go grab a condom out of my jacket pocket.”  She does as he says and hands the condom to him to which he rolls it on. Excitement had filled her mind up until this very moment because now nervousness is taking over. He helps her climb onto his lap and positions her over his dick. He teases her slick folds with his tip, causing her to tighten her grip on his shoulders. Her heart pounds wildly in her chest once she feels him line his tip up with her entrance. 

“You okay?” he asks, his hazel eyes filled with concern. The tense look on her face didn't go unnoticed by him.

“Y-yeah.” 

“Baby, we don’t have to do this.” 

“No! No, I want to. It…It’s just that this is my first time.”

He pauses and rubs a hand over his face. She can’t read his expression as he stares into her eyes. 

“You’re a fuckin’ virgin?” 

“Uh, yeah? It’s kinda in my username on the cam girl site.”

“Yeah, but it’s virginesque, which kinda implies that you’re not really a virgin,” he explains. 

“I know, that’s the point.” 

“I don’t get it…” 

“Well, I’ve never had sex before, but with all the toys I’ve used and stuff I’ve done as a cam girl, I don’t really feel like a virgin." 

“Oh my fuckin god,” he sighs as he urges her to get up. She grabs her dress from off the ground and puts it back on as Negan fixes his pants. Her heart’s still racing, but this time, instead of awaiting Negan’s dick, she’s waiting for his next words. 

“I-is that a problem‽”

“Kinda, yeah. I can’t fuck a virgin on my bike at an overpass in the middle of the fuckin night. Isn’t your first time supposed to be special and with someone you love or some shit like that?” 

“Well what if this is how I wanna have my first time?” 

“There’s better ways!” He argues. 

“Like what?”

The look in his eyes is dark as a smirk spreads across his face. He steps closer to her, his tongue salaciously gliding across his bottom lip. He leans down to whisper in her ear, his lips gently brushing against the shell. 

“What if I fucked you on your livestream. Showed all those pathetic excuses of men you have for viewers that their tiny little cocks could never please you the way I can. Show them that I’m the first man to ever fuck you.” 

Her face blooms with heat and her stomach flutters at his words. She was afraid he was going to completely turn her away, but instead he embraced it. 

part 3 ➢

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Hii not sure if your requests are open or not- so ignore this if they’re closed! <3

Can I request some Obey Me! Headcanons?

So reader is the 8th sister of the brothers. So she’s the youngest.

Just some general headcanons of her relationships w the brothers

( And some of the side characters if it’s not too much trouble :>)

Thanks <33

I've already done something like that but I love the concept so I'm just going to build that 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Youngest Sibling Reader Headcannons | Yandere Obey Me

Lucifer

Before I said he was the worst one and I mean it

He’s an amalgamation of someone who understands you but undermines you at every moment

Because he understands, he does listen

He just doesn’t hold your opinions on the same level as his own

But worse 

Of course his brother’s constant chatter about aimless things isn’t on his level

But every now and then he’ll enjoy hanging out with them 

But not you

Never you 

“Ah so you do pay attention to the political atmosphere. Good job.”

Or

“I don’t expect you to know but I’ll tell you anyways.”

It’s degrading

It’s disrespectful

And he does not care

You can cry and yell all you like 

it’ll just sound like a tantrum to him 

So he’ll treat like one

“If you can’t behave, I’ll have to send you to the attic.”

Leviathan

As previously stated is apart of the group that just misinterprets everything you say

It’s hard to say if it’s delusion or denial 

Because sometimes he’ll slip up 

You’ll catch him crying or a single mumble in his late night rambles 

“Aw my baby is so grown up…I just can’t believe it anymore.”

If you try to address it he’ll pat your head and ruffle your hair (if you have any)

Before telling you it’s nothing for the baby to worry about anyway

It’s incredibly annoying 

When he writes off your achievements in gaming as button mashing 

Or saying your just a genius so you’d get on his level eventually

Any protests or ‘grown-up’ conversations are often just outright ignore

Now doing things outside of the ‘baby’ image he has of you mostly has him ignoring that too

Unless you come back hurt or specifically crying for his help 

He will actually start flooding places and going into an absolute rampage

He won’t listen to you about calming down

Its going to take all the brothers to de-aggro their brother to save everyone from drowning

“Sorry guys I just want to make sure our baby sib is doing okay!”

Asmodeus

Also a part of that ‘doesn’t listen to you’ crew

Accept while he might actually here you his brain literally just never let’s him hear your real voice

“Can you please stop trying to rearrange my closet?! It’s weird to find you digging through my stuff–”

“Okay okay no need to cry what’s the problem baby sib? C’mon you can use your words! Tell big bro Asmo what’s the matter?”

It’s almost a concern when he does it in front of your other brothers 

Especially the ones you can hold an actual conversation

“Hey (Y/n) can you pass the salt and the salad.”

“Sure, man.”

“Hey Hey! Why are you bothering (Y/n), they’re trying to focus on eating? Not to mention your being such a meanie, trying to make them reach with their tiny arms!”

“(Y/n) is sitting closer to me than you…”

��So? How do you expect them to know good manners if you don’t show them! Here I’ll show you how! Watch me baby (Y/n)!”

He honestly doesn’t compute when you’re getting older

He’ll celebrate birthdays, milestones, awards

But he doesn’t believe you are growing and can’t see it either

Reprimanding you when you went out with your own car

“I’m all for playing with your toys, but you have to have a chaperone. Okay?”

That being said any advances from others are met with extreme animosity

“Not my little (Y/n)! Try that with someone else’s little baby!”

[freshlluv]

𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞 - m.s

Summary: In which you are hanging out w/ the triplets and your abusive dad texts you to come home

WARNINGS!: abusive parents, cussing, use of y/n, remarks of physical abuse, sad-ish?, i thinks thats all

a/n: this is my first fic, if u have any feedback pls share !!!

From Dad

“Come home, now.” 

You read the text, your heart instantly dropping. Your palms start sweating and you look around the living room. Nick's beside you, Chris and Matt and your other side of the couch. You don’t even bother telling them because you have to explain why you don’t get along with them, and that’s a whole different story. The triplets didn’t know about the situation of your family, they didn’t know how you weren’t close with your parents at all, constantly fighting them, having to hide things from them. They don’t even know about Nick, Matt and Chris at all.

You start typing fast trying not to cry at the thought of getting yelled at when you come home.

I don’t wanna go home. 

I don’t feel safe there.

“Are you alright?” 

Nick asks, looking down at your phone with a worried face.

“Who is that?” you hesitate telling him, “Oh my dad.. He wants me to come home” you laughed dryly. Matt and Chris heads turn at you. 

“What happened?” Chris asks. 

Fuck.

I don’t want to tell them at all.

“She has to go home, but it’s like literally only 8pm?” He told them

They nodded

I feel like shit whenever I have to go home early, especially because of my fomo.

“Jus’ ask him to go at like 10?”

The problem between their parents and mine is that my parents are strict, especially ‘cause I’m a girl. They don’t want me hanging out with people they don’t know either. Sometimes I feel like I envied their parents' bond with each other and their kids. They all loved each other, my parents couldn’t give less of a fuck. 

“Um, yeah I could ask. I doubt I can stay that long though.”

I threw my head into my hands, sighing loudly.

“Are you sure that’s all that happened?” Matt asked 

“Yeah, don’t worry” I smiled

Nick looks at his brothers with a suspicious look.

I got up leaving my phone, grabbing something to drink. I had to get my mind off it.

A few minutes went by and I was up against a counter drinking out of a juicebox thinking about how I can avoid coming home.

Matt comes into the kitchen with my phone.

“Here, um..”

“What?” I looked at him

“I saw your phone” He says looking down at his feet

“Yeah you always do?” I laughed a bit confused.

“No like your messages, you left it unlocked.”

No.

He didn’t.

No fucking way.

“Yeah your dad left like 8 other messages”

You snatched the phone out of his hand

“Oh my god.”

Dad

“Come home right fucking now.”

“Where are you?”

“Are you fucking slut now? Not telling us where you went?”

“I swear, are you with a guy? better not catch you with them or else I’ll fucking break your skull.”

“You’re grounded.”

Mom

“Y/N where are you? I’m serious, if you don’t come home, I won’t EVER let you inside our house again.”

“This is why I wish I never had a daughter.”

I teared up looking at the messages, although it’s nothing new, they act almost as if they care. Wanting me to come home. They just don’t want to lose someone that does everything you ask them to do.

“Is that why you couldn’t stay?” He asked quietly.

I nodded, my throat felt like it was closing up, I couldn’t breathe. 

I can’t believe he saw that.

“I’m sorry.” That's all I could say, warm tears falling out of my eyes.

“Sorry.. For what?”

“For what you saw.. And crying.”

“Don’t be sorry for anything you are completely valid in this situation. I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with them and you haven’t told us.”

“It's a burden. You can’t really help me” I said exhaling. 

“I could. You can stay here. My parents wouldn’t mind.” Matt says smiling a bit.

I smiled back.

They care about me.

Why was it so hard for my parents to?

What did I do?

I was grateful, insanely grateful.

Matt stepped closer to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry."

I hummed

"Thank you so much." I looked up at him as we hugged

I squeezed Matt as hard as possible like he was going to slip out of my grasp.

I can’t leave.

I don’t want to.

"I'll have to text them." I said stressed again. "We can make my dad call your parents or something?"

"Okay so like do you wanna die?" We both laughed

"We can focus on that tomorrow, I just want you to know that you're safe here. Does he know us?"

"Umm, no." I said embarrassed.

"Thats fine I understand, they are fucking insane." "Just, don't worry. Okay?" He smiled.

What is this feeling?

I felt like I was melting inside, he was so kind.

Chris and Nick entered the kitchen.

“Is she okay?” Chris mumbled.

“I mean we kinda heard everything..” Nick said awkwardly.

I wasn't even mad that they heard the whole conversation, that’s all I ever wanted.

I wanted someone to hear me

To listen to me.

i reallyy hate this!

sparkles from @bebanie

[d0youc0py]

Could you do any 141 member (I don’t really care I love them all) comforting civilian!reader while she’s on her period? Like the cramps, nausea, mood swings?

Thanks!

He winced as another pained groan left your lips.

“Pain killers didn’t help?” He frowned. He laid down behind you tucking you against him. He pressed a kiss to the back of your head, his hands pressing down on the heating pad against your stomach. The pressure made you feel better and you softly grabbed his hand and put it under the heating pad, silently asking him to massage your stomach. “I got you.” He pressed another kiss to your shoulder.

“Are you done with your paperwork yet?” You whined.

“Ya, Sweetheart.” He lied. The thought of leaving you alone to suffer on the couch made his stomach turn. “You rest up, now and I’ll fix us some dinner later, yeah?”

“Don’t leave till I fall asleep please.” You requested, scooting closer to him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He’s literally the dream partner when it comes to this stuff

He has always been a very nurturing person

He has your special week marked on his calendar so he’s never caught off guard if you snip at him or you wake up and need to change the sheets

When he can’t be with you he always ships a care package to your house with all the things you could possibly need (snacks, pads/tampons, medicine, a card saying how much he loves you)

He’s the best honestly

“Kid, open the door!” The door handle jiggled. You splashed cold water over your face trying to calm down, but no matter how hard you tried sobs wracked your body. You blamed the hormones. You and Simon were new in your relationship, about five months in, and you had just recently started spending the night at his place. You always had a plan for what to do if you got your period during the night but you didn’t plan for it to come almost a week early. You woke up feeling a familiar wetness and practically ripped yourself out of Simon’s arms. To make matters worse he had his thigh resting between your legs, meaning- you didn’t even want to say it. You shook the thoughts out of your head.

“Sweetheart, c’mon.” Simon sighed from the other side of the door. “You know what I do for a living, yeah? You think a little blood is gonna scare me off? I find that a bit offensive if I’m being honest.”

“It’s disgusting and embarrassing!” You shouted through your sobs.

“It’s not disgusting.” He shot back. “Whoever made you feel that way is a cunt. And it might seem embarrassing now, but I promise you in a week it’ll make you laugh. Out you come.” He shook the door handle again. He did make you feel better. “There she is.” He whispered. You looked him over, happy he had changed his sleep shorts. A clunky thumb wiped away a few remaining tears.

The man is completely unbothered

You can throw a whole hissy fit and he’ll just ask if you’ve eaten anything today

Bodily fluids don’t faze him at all- you could bleed, vomit and cry all over him and he’d just pat you on the back

He’s still doesn’t always understand how to take care of other people, so if you want/need him to do something all you have to do is ask

He never ever makes you feel bad/embarrassed about anything

“Si, you aren’t going to believe the blood clot that just came out of me.” “I’m proud of you Sweetheart.”

“I just can’t believe he did that to her!” You sobbed, wiping your eyes on your husbands shirt.

“What a bastard.” He growled, wiping a tear from his own eye. He wrapped an arm tighter around you, throwing a few pieces of popcorn into your mouth.

“Get off the screen!” You shouted, throwing a few pieces of popcorn at the TV.

“Ya, fuck off!” Johnny yelled after you tossing a few pieces as well. You both looked at each other before bursting into a giggle fit.

Every time you on your period it seems like Johnny also goes on his

You would think both of you being so emotional would cause problems, but it really makes you feel less alone

He definitely steals higher grade pain meds from the base to help you (Price caught him and started doing it for his own partner)

Absolutely loves to take warm showers with you

This man is also unfazed by bodily fluids ;)

Whenever you feel sick he is on the other side of the door cheering you on

You hated when you got your period and he wasn’t here. It always reminded you of how sucky life was before him and how much spoiled you are now. You pressed yourself deeper into his pillow, inhaling his scent. Your muscles relaxed slightly- but it was nothing compared to the real thing. The pain killers had yet to kick in and your body felt so hot and uncomfortable. Your ears piqued up when you heard the door open.

“Babe?”

“Ky!” You screeched. The ache in your stomach couldn’t stop you from running through the flat to greet him. “What are you doing here? Your not suppose to be home for another two weeks?” You questioned between both of you pressing kisses against each other.

“I can just stay for two days.” He sighed, scooping you up. “I told Cap you weren’t feeling well- and let’s just say being the favorite has its perks.”

If you thought Price was good wait till you meet Kyle He definitely learned it from Price

Total Princess treatment to the max

“Ky, I can tie my shoes.” “Don’t worry bout it love.”

He shows love through acts of service so this is his time to shine ✨

Has a stash of all your favorite snacks/drinks for when the time comes

He usually puts you between his legs and the two of you play video games for the next eight hours- distraction helps take you mind off of the pain

[steddieas-shegoes]

“Steve! We have to go!”

“I’m coming!” He yelled back to Robin, still searching through his closet for the pants he planned for their night out. “Where the hell are they?”

He was throwing things out of the way, not caring where they landed.

That was a problem for future Steve.

Current Steve needed to look as hot as possible.

His dry spell would be over tonight. He wasn’t leaving the bar until it was.

“Steve!”

“Robin! Where are the jeans?”

“What jeans?”

“The jeans! The ones that you told me to wear!”

“Didn’t you wear them yesterday?”

“No! I saved them!”

But Steve looked over at his laundry basket where his shirt was hanging over and the pair of jeans he was looking for peeked through.

He did wear them yesterday.

Fuck.

Okay, back up options.

The dark jeans that actually probably belonged to someone else and didn’t fit his thighs right? No, he needed to show off his thighs.

The light jeans he hadn’t worn in at least a year because there was a questionable stain that wouldn’t come out? Well, it would be dark in the bar, but no. He’d know about it.

The jeans he wore earlier that weren’t special but also weren’t bad? How would that help him get laid? No.

So he looked back the jeans in his hamper, ignoring Robin’s angry yelling from outside his door.

“Found them! Two minutes!”

He put on the jeans, hoping they didn’t smell or have any stains on them.

He ignored Robin as he threw on his coat that was hanging on the back of the couch and ignored the dull headache blossoming across his temples.

He opened the door and started to leave.

“You coming?” He asked over his shoulder, laughing when Robin smacked his arm as she passed by him.

“Don’t act like you’re waiting on me. I’ve been waiting on you for 30 minutes!”

They barely spoke on the way to the bar, Robin already sensing his headache and probably hoping the silence would make it better before the night got started.

She was amazing.

Steve couldn’t live without her.

But hopefully, they’d both find someone tonight. They needed it.

— — — —

Steve wasn’t having any luck. In fact, he’d never had worse luck.

His head was pounding at this point, music much louder than usual, more people crowded around his usual spot. The three men and one woman he’d danced with so far were fun, but not really his type. He’d been a little upset about seemingly wasting his time, but swallowed down the bitter feeling when he saw Robin dancing with the same girl for three songs, huge smile on her face.

At least one of them was getting something from tonight.

He stood at the far corner of the bar, trying to be out of the way as best he could. He needed to have some water, but he knew the bartender wouldn’t be pleased about getting pulled away from actual paying customers. He would wait for a lull and then get his attention.

It was a new guy, or at least one who didn’t normally work the shifts Steve was here. He was pretty.

There was no other way to describe him; long, curly hair, tattoos everywhere, wide Bambi eyes, tall and thin frame that still held hidden muscle. Steve’s dream, really.

Too bad his vision was getting blurry from the headache.

He had to reevaluate his plan and get water now before he went into full migraine territory. He couldn’t pull Robin away from her night just because he had to get home safely with a debilitating migraine.

He started trying to wave to the bartender anytime he looked over towards Steve’s end of the bar, but it didn’t work.

He tried yelling over the crowd and music, but it ended up making his head throb worse.

He finally managed to throw a napkin at him when he was standing a few feet away.

Not his finest moment, but he’d apologize when he had water.

The bartender looked over at him with raised brows.

“Need something?”

Steve couldn’t help the shame he felt about literally everything happening at that moment.

“Water please?”

The bartender nodded once and grabbed a cup to fill with ice and water. Steve felt some of his muscles relax knowing that he was going to be able to hydrate a little.

When he placed it in front of Steve, he slid a small cup of lemons with it.

“Squeeze a little in there. Helps with headaches.”

Steve knew he was looking at Eddie like the sun shone out of his ass. It would be embarrassing if he wasn’t so dreadfully miserable from the almost-migraine.

“Thanks.” Then he realized how shitty he must look if the bartender knew what was going on from just looking at him. “Wait. How’d you know?”

“My uncle gets them bad. He always gets pale and his eyes get bloodshot when one’s coming. You looked in the mirror lately?”

Steve shook his head, then winced at the way it made his head pound.

“You here with someone?”

“Yeah. She’s dancing.”

“Need me to have an announcement made for her?”

“No, let me drink this first.”

The bartender nodded, but Steve noticed he kept checking on him between serving other drinks to people.

Steve used more lemon than he probably should have, but he had a whole cup of it, and it couldn’t hurt to use more.

He rested his head against the wall next to him, wincing at the excessive vibrations from the music.

Normally, he loved that their hole in the wall bar got loud and fun once a week. Tonight, he wished he could be surrounded by silence.

He knew he was getting worse, but he didn’t want to bother Robin, who was still dancing with the same girl. She’d probably go home with her as long as Steve didn’t interrupt.

He felt a hand on his forehead, slowly brushing sweaty hair away. He tried opening his eyes, but even the small amount of light seeping through his eyelids was too much.

“Hey, I’m Eddie. I’m the bartender. My relief just walked in so I’m gonna help you to the back, okay?”

Steve could barely nod, the pain in his head throbbing down his jaw and neck. He reached his hand towards the voice and managed to make contact with Eddie. Hopefully, Eddie understood he was not gonna be able to do anything helpful at this point.

He felt an arm around his waist, guiding him away from the bar, but Steve still didn’t want to try opening his eyes. He had to trust Eddie.

He should’ve stayed home. He knew the dull pain he felt earlier would turn into worse, but he was so stuck on getting in bed with someone, he came anyway.

Eddie was walking slowly, keeping a firm grip on Steve so he wouldn’t jostle him around too much. Maybe if Steve weren’t getting his brain attacked by hammers and knives, he’d be trying to get Eddie in bed.

That thought came and went though as he realized how pitiful it was that a grown man couldn’t even walk himself home because he had a migraine.

Eddie would probably tell this incredibly embarrassing story to everyone here and laugh about it for weeks.

Steve was in and out of it for the next few minutes, unable to really focus on anything around him besides the warm hand on his hip. Despite being sweaty enough to wring water from his shirt, he still felt cold, shivers occasionally wracking his body.

This was a really bad one.

He was so stupid for being stuck in a bar for this.

His brain registered a door closing, then a fan turning on. It wasn’t completely silent, but the outside noise was a small echo in his brain compared to the banging it had been previously.

“Gonna set you on the couch in the corner and get some ice.”

Steve didn’t acknowledge him, but he let out the most ridiculous whimper when Eddie set him down on the couch, slowly laying him back so his whole body was flat. He heard the door open and close, but was so focused on how nice the air from the fan felt, he didn’t hear the door open and close when Eddie came back in.

“Alright, gonna put this on your head. Where’s it hurt?”

“Everywhere.”

Eddie sighed, but placed the bag of ice on his forehead to start.

“Get these often?”

Steve appreciated his very low voice, knowing that anything at a regular volume would probably be too much in this quiet room.

“Mhm.”

“I grabbed you more water too. Think you can have a sip?”

“Mm. No.”

He heard Eddie laughing quietly, but he couldn’t smile back at him.

“You live close?”

“Mhm. Mile.”

“I live closer.”

“Hm?”

“Welcome to my humble abode. I own the bar, work at the bar, and live at the bar. Technically this is the staff office, but upstairs is my bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom. If you think you can handle the stairs, you can sleep in my bed and I’ll take the couch. I’ll let your friend know you’re here too if you give me a name.”

“Steve.”

“Your friend’s name is Steve?”

“No. Mine.”

“Okay, what’s your friend’s name, Steve?”

“Robin.”

He tried opening his eyes so he could see his surroundings, but they were so heavy. Leave it to Steve to end up suffering with the worst migraine he’s had all year at a bar with a hot bartender taking care of him and he can’t even open his eyes to fully appreciate it.

He distantly heard the door again, but must’ve fallen asleep for a bit because the next thing he knew, he felt hands on his face.

“You’re sure he can stay here?”

“Robs?”

“Steve. You idiot. You should’ve told me it was getting worse.”

She was whispering, but she was angry with him and he knew she would be yelling if she was a worse friend.

“Sorry.”

“Eddie’s gonna handle it. I’m gonna take Chrissy home. You call me as soon as you’re up, got it? I’ll send the cops here to break down the doors if I don’t hear by lunch time tomorrow.”

“Got it.”

He was gonna forget, but hopefully Eddie would remind him.

When he had bad migraines, he pretty much forget everything he did or said. None of the doctors could explain it. He’d had scans done, and there were no signs of memory diseases, so it was just a part of the trauma from multiple concussions.

He could hear Robin telling Eddie the same thing. If he could make his face work, he’d probably smile.

He drifted again, but he could hear Robin still talking to Eddie as he did.

The next time he was fully aware, he was in a bed. The bed was huge, and there were so many pillows around him, it felt like a fort.

Two blankets were on top of him, one so soft he couldn’t help rubbing his cheek against it. He was surrounded by a cozy, light cologne smell.

He was also fully clothed.

His jeans were itchy, and he suddenly felt claustrophobic as he realized the sun was up and he was alone in a stranger’s bed.

He sat up and looked around.

The room itself wasn’t that big, the bed taking up most of the space. The door was closed, but he could hear someone moving around outside of it. He looked to the right to see a door that must lead to a bathroom.

He quickly got out of the bed, shoving his shoes on and grabbing his wallet off the table. He opened the door and saw the back of a man with long, curly hair.

The bartender.

Eddie.

Eddie had taken care of him during his migraine. His migraine that he should’ve known was coming and stayed the hell home.

He was an idiot.

When Eddie turned around, he felt his heart stop.

God, he was pretty.

Like, Steve might have to change up the nights he comes to the bar just to get a glimpse of this beautiful man.

“Hey. Feeling better? Must be since you’re standing without support.”

Steve blushed. He’d never been in this position before, and he had no idea what the proper etiquette is for thanking someone for taking care of you when you’re unable to even move or talk.

“Uh. Yeah, much better. Um.” Steve awkwardly stood by the counter while Eddie continued mixing coffee in a mug. “Thanks for. All that.”

Eddie was laughing. In another circumstance, Steve may have found it cute, maybe been proud of himself for making a hot guy laugh.

But he was dealing with a migraine hangover, which usually left him grumpy.

Eddie must’ve noticed because he stopped laughing abruptly.

His head tilted to the side as he looked Steve up and down.

“You know, Robin called four times already this morning to check on you. You should probably call her and let her know I didn’t murder you and hide the body already.”

“Okay. Yeah. I.” He felt around in his pockets and couldn’t feel his phone. Shit.

“Over there. Charging.” Eddie said as he pointed towards the table by his front door.

“Thanks.”

Steve walked over to his phone to see 33 missed calls from Robin.

He called her back immediately, not wanting her to actually show up with a SWAT team.

“Thank god! Steve, I told you to call by lunch. I was just about to call Hop.”

“You’re the one who left me here.”

“Yes, assuming you’d wake up early enough that I wouldn’t assume you’ve been murdered!”

“What time is it?”

“Almost 3:00, Steve!”

“Fuck. Okay. I’m leaving now.”

Eddie cleared his throat and nodded at the counter, which now had a plate of fried eggs, toast, bacon, and sausage on it.

“Okay I’m eating, then I’m leaving.”

“You better text me. I’ll show up with Hop!”

“Robin. Jesus.” Steve felt a bit lightheaded. “I am literally at the bar. You know where I am and who I’m with. Chill.”

“You were incapacitated.”

“And now I’m not. I can escape if I have to.”

“You’re not as strong as you think you are!”

He hung up before she kept going. She would stay on the phone for hours if he let her, and he wasn’t in the mood.

He made his way to the counter and sat down, smiling at the steaming food.

“You didn’t have to cook all this. Especially this late in the afternoon. You probably have to head down to the bar.”

“Nah. I own the place. I just work there to keep myself busy. I’m all yours until you’re good to go home.”

Steve didn’t have much of a response for that, his brain still firing on the bare minimum. Migraine hangovers were worse than actual hangovers.

He ate a few bites silently, then looked up to see Eddie setting a cup of tea in front of him.

“What’s this?”

“Technically, sleepy time tea. But it works really well for headaches.”

“Oh. Thanks. It won’t like, make me fall asleep?”

Eddie laughed and Steve decided he was happy to hear it now.

“No. It has relaxing properties to it, but it doesn’t actually make you drowsy.”

Steve took a few small sips and smiled.

“It’s good.”

“My uncle says I make the best.” Eddie leaned over the counter with a smile. “So, you thought going to a bar was a good idea with a headache? On our DJ night?”

“It wasn’t that bad when I left. Thought I’d be okay.”

“Mhm. So you get these a lot?”

“Well. I mean I do get migraines a lot. But that one was one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I can usually still talk and walk enough to get to my own bed.”

“Do you remember everything?”

Steve knew he had a lot of blank spots in his memory from last night. If Eddie wasn’t such a nice guy, he’d probably be more worried about it.

“No. I have memory problems when I get them.”

“Ah. Well that’s okay. I got you into bed pretty easily. You only woke up twice. Once to use the bathroom, which you managed to do alone. The second time you were crying about having to sleep alone? I couldn’t understand all of it, but that seemed to be the gist.”

“Oh.” Steve sighed. “That’s super embarrassing. Guess I’ll never come back here. Maybe never leave my house again.”

Eddie smirked. “I dunno. I think maybe I could fix the sleeping alone thing. You know, when you’re not incapacitated from a migraine.”

“You’re serious?”

Eddie nodded.

“You saw me like that and would actually want to be around me again?”

“I was hoping for more than around you. Maybe on you? In you? Next to you? All of those sound good.”

Steve choked on his next bite.

“Uh.”

He took a sip of the tea to help clear his throat, ignoring the way Eddie was moving around the counter.

“You know, Robin kept me on the phone for about an hour earlier, telling me all about how you’re the best guy she’s ever known and she’s a lesbian for a reason so that means a lot. Said you guys come here once a week because it’s the best place to find decent people, not just anyone. Said you’ve both had a bit of a dry spell.”

“She’s exaggerating.”

“Oh, so it hasn’t been eight months since you’ve taken someone home?”

“No.”

Eddie’s eyebrows raised in a challenge.

“It’s been ten.”

“My bar hasn’t been good to you, I guess.”

“Up until last night, I guess not. But I still prefer it over the clubs.”

“Until last night?”

“Yeah. The guy who owns the place kind of rescued me and let me sleep in his really comfy bed. He probably deserves something for that.”

“Oh? What does he deserve?”

“Well, I’d offer a blowjob, but I’m out of practice and might disappoint.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“But maybe he’d be okay with a real date?”

“When would this date be?”

“Maybe tonight?”

“Hm. He has to check the bar schedule, make sure no one needs coverage.”

“He can text me later to confirm.”

“I sure hope you’re giving me your number to do that.”

Steve laughed and held his hand out. Eddie placed his phone in his hand and waited for him to type his name and number in his contacts.

When Steve handed it back, their hands grazed each other. Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, squeezing for a moment.

“Dinner here? Maybe 8?”

“I thought you had to check the schedule.”

“Nah, just needed your number. I make the schedule, I know it like the back of my hand.”

Steve shook his head.

“Can’t start a relationship on lies.”

“Oh, a relationship? You move quick don’t you.”

Steve did. He knew he did. It’s why he’d never been able to keep anyone around. He moved like he was ready for marriage on the first date, and usually people didn’t like that.

He looked down at his lap, already prepared to lose Eddie’s interest.

But he felt a hand on his cheek, slowly guiding him to look up.

“Dinner here at 8?”

“Uh. Yeah. Please.”

Eddie smirked at him before he placed a soft kiss on his lips.

“Just be yourself, Steve. I like you just fine. And I’ve already seen you at your worst and your crazy best friend. It’s all uphill from here.” Eddie pulled away and moved back to start cleaning dishes from his cooking. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll end up married by the end of the year.”

“Now you’re making fun of me.”

“Am I?”

Eddie looked over his shoulder, serious look on his face.

“Are you?”

“No. Stranger things have happened.”

[kamii-2]

now hear me out. Kk arnold turning reader gay but reader thinks she’s straight

-👾

hi 👾 anon!! i actually love you so much for requesting this and making me decide that i should make this a series, but anyway this is just a little backstory to everything so sorry if it’s confusing in any type of way.

warning(s): cussing, kk and reader don’t actually physically interact this chapter, suggestive thoughts

genre: fluff

pairing(s): kk arnold x reader

“you thought wrong” masterlist

==================================

chapter 1: “bro she’s literally the reason i’m gay.”

==================================

kk arnold has to be the finest person you’ve ever seen in your life, everything about her is just perfect. her personality, humor, smile, face, body, everything. the only problem is that you think she’s straight and kk is quite the opposite of that. she think you’re the prettiest girl to ever walk this earth, she has the same problem as you, she thinks your straight.

the only reason youre gay is because of kk, she turned you lesbian. but the way she talked on her lives to fans made you think she was straight but she did not look straight and you were to dense to see that. your friends have told you multiple time that she’s gay but you never believed them.

you figured out you were gay on a random sunday night, you were laying in your bed scrolling through tiktok when you got a notification from instagram that kk was live. you and kk were friends were sort of close, you knew a lot about her, or so you thought, and decided to join. when you joined it was her and paige just messing around, they were play fighting and ignoring the phone as they messed around but when they came back she checked the viewers, “hi y/n!” she said while waving at the phone, paige waving with her. you admired kk’s features and voice and it just kind of happened. you were thinking about how fine she was and then it clicked, kk just turned you gay and made you like her in less than a minute. you left the live quick as fuck and went back on tiktok, them edits of kk started popping up. “fuck.” you muttered to yourself as you favorited all of them.

- current day -

the time was 6:04am you were in the bathroom doing your hair. as you were doing it, your friend symphony facetimed you. “hey y/nnnn.” she greeted, “heyyyy” you replied back with the same energy. “guess what.” she smiled, “what?” you smiled back, “i bought tickets to the Uconn women’s basketball game tonight. the game is at 5:00 so i’ll come get you at 4:45.” your jaw dropped, “oh my god i love you so much, ALSO i have so much to tell you!” you yelled while clapping.

-

after all of your classes you went back to your dorm and waited for symphony to get there. while you waiting you scrolled on tiktok, favoriting kk edits as you scrolled. at around 4:00 you decided to redo your hair and touch up your makeup, at 4:44 symphony texted you that she was outside and you grabbed everything you needed then headed out the door to her car. “heyyy.” you said happily as you got in, “hiii.” she smiled. “okay so a few days ago i joined kk arnold’s live the boom i found out im gay and that i like her in less than a minute.” you dumped on her the moment she went silent, “AS IN THE BASKETBALL PLAYER?” she yelled, “isn’t there only one kk arnold?” you asked, “OH MY GOD.” she yelled again. “okay, okay, we have to go if we wanna make it on time.” you were trying to make her stop yelling, “sorry, i can’t believe what you just told me man.” she was now laughing.

when you guys got to your seats the game was about to start in 2 minutes. you guys talked about college, the basketball teams, and drama. once the team came out symphony was checking everyone out, “ooh, number 10 lowkey fine, not even lowkey, highkey!” she muttered to you, you just laughed at her antics and kept watching them play. “i know you said that you liked kk but i can’t help but admit the fact that she’s fine as hell.” symphony muttered to you again, “i know. bro she literally turned me gay.”

as the game went on you and symphony kept talking about the basketball team and you guys got back on the topic of your sexuality. “kk is gay for sure.” symphony added on to your last sentence, “no she’s not she doesn’t look- she definitely looks gay but the things she says aren’t. she talks about her man all the time on lives.” you defended her, “are you dense?” symphony looked at you like you had 7 eyes. “she’s saying that stuff because she’s famous and has fans and people who look up to her.” symphony argued. “true.” you mumbled and the conversation ended there.

-

after the game, you and symphony went out to eat then she dropped you off at your dorm. you thought about what symphony had said until you fell asleep, is kk really gay or straight and looks gay? you weren’t sure and honestly you really wanted to find out.

==================================

okay so before i finish everything off, let me introduce the characters

y/n l/n: 18, from chicago illinois (illinois barely gets any recognition and that’s where i’m from just not chicago and this is my story so i can do whatever i want)

symphony roy: 18, from chicago illinois, black, y/n’s childhood friend

==================================

i hope you guys enjoyed the first part of “you thought wrong” !! i will post more parts later this week anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋

[selectivelyslytherin]

He cares

Pairing: Lorenzo Berkshire x Reader

Summary: frenemies to lovers honestly 🫶🏻 you have an asshole boyfriend to try and get over a certain slytherin boy and it doesn’t end well.

“Fucking stop Lorenzo, I’m serious.” I groaned.

Lorenzo Berkshire was my potions partner, but also currently the bane of my existence. He was always making my life difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I’m quick to dish it back, but he started it.

“Well, what fun would that be? You’re so temperamental, lighten up.” He replied.

We both returned to our work, Lorenzo was an idiot, but he still cared about his grades. I found my mind drifting off to what sort of plans I would make for this weekend, it was Friday, the last class of the day. Really made it hard to focus on schoolwork when you can nearly taste the freedom of the weekend.

I would also be free of the handsome Slytherin boy that bothered me throughout the week. Weekends kept a Slytherin party boy rather busy. It wasn’t that I hated Lorenzo, at one point I thought I might have feelings for him. But anytime I felt I might be getting closer to him, the further away he seemed to push. So I settled for this sort of frenemy situation.

Not that any of that particularly matters now, a few weeks ago I started going out with a handsome Ravenclaw boy, Leonardo Wylde. I had never really taken much interest in dating but Leo was rather cute, and he had taken an interest in me.

I was ripped from my thoughts as everyone started packing up their things to leave. I did the same and headed to meet Rai, my best friend, to walk to dinner.

“Ugh, I’m so glad it’s Friday!” She said as we sat down to eat.

“Well, what are the plans then?” I asked her. I have always been more of the “along for the ride” sort of friend. Rai was the driver, always coming up with some sort of shenanigans to keep us entertained.

“Well, I thought tonight’s plans were obvious?” She replied.

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“Uh, Ravenclaw party? You had to have known that, you’re dating a Ravenclaw.”

“Uhm, no actually.. he never mentioned it.”

“Oh well, maybe it just slipped his mind. Surely he was going to ask. How about we go let him know we’ll be there?”

“Sure,” I said getting up and heading towards the Ravenclaw common room, Rai nearly skipping beside me.

As we were about to round the corner, I could hear Leo’s voice and Rai grabbed my wrist and put her finger to her mouth to shush me. Always so damn nosy.

“This is going to be the party of the year, I heard that hot Hufflepuff is going to be there.” I heard Leo say as my heart dropped to my ass.

“What about the girlfriend?” Another voice asked.

“I didn’t tell her about the party, I doubt she’d know otherwise. She’s hot but she doesn’t have many friends.” Leo replied.

“Well I’ve got one less boyfriend now, you fucking prick,” I yelled at him, not wanting to hear anymore before heading in the other direction.

Tears welled in my eyes, why did literally every boy have to be a huge asshole.

Not looking where I was going, I bumped into someone.

“Maybe you should watch where you’re going.”

I looked up, it was Lorenzo of course. The last person I needed to see right now.

“Shut the fuck up Berkshire, I’m not in the mood.” I snapped.

“Oh shit, feisty this evening, what’s up with you? Boy problems?” He asked.

“I’m serious Berkshire.” I looked up.

He could see the tears in my eyes and the look on my face meant serious business, I just wanted to go back to my dorm.

“Oh shit, it is boy problems huh?”

“Boys are always a problem,” I said pushing past him towards the common room.

I made it to my dorm and saw Rai lying on her bed waiting.

“Come on babes, we’re definitely still going to that party, and we’re drinking ourselves silly.” She said.

“I don’t feel like it, Rai.”

“Come on, everyone drinks themselves silly after a breakup. That’s like rule number one after a breakup!”

“Fine, but I’m getting plastered so you better stay sober enough to get us back here without getting in trouble.” I gave in.

I walked into the Ravenclaw common room with Rai, letting out the nervous breath I had been holding in. Looking around, I spotted Leo talking to some Hufflepuff girl I’d never seen before. Of course, he would be moving on the same day we had broken up. Seeing how little I had actually meant to him made me realize that he was really just an asshole. There was no fixing that.

“I’m going to get something to drink, time to drown out the feelings,” I told Rai as I began moving towards the drink table.

I grabbed two cups, one for Rai, and was about to head back towards her when someone bumped into me from behind.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” Lorenzo said grabbing the second cup in my hand.

“Come on Lorenzo, you knew that wasn’t for you. Why do you insist on antagonizing me, and why are you touching me?” I shot back half defeatedly.

He leaned in close to whisper in my ear, his hot breath on my neck “Don’t you want to make him jealous?”

“Not anymore, can’t hurt someone who never cared,” I told him.

“Oh, he cares sweetheart.” He said nodding towards Leo who was coming this way.

“Really? Berkshire? So heartbroken I see, didn’t take you so much as 24 hours to find someone else to put up with you, you miserable whore.” Leo hissed at me as he approached.

“What the fuck did you just say to her?” Lorenzo questioned.

“You heard me, Berkshire, she’s a miserable whore. And you don’t think much more of her yourself, you don’t even like her, everyone can see you’re only cozying up to her now because you think she’ll be an easy lay.” Leo shot back.

Before I could think of a response, Lorenzo swung with one solid fist connecting to Leo’s face.

No longer caring about this situation, or wanting to be the center of attention, I left them in the party and headed for the astronomy tower. Somewhere I could be alone to think without all of the eyes on me. I sat and thought for about half an hour before I heard steps behind me.

“How’d you find me?” I asked.

“Rai said you might be here,” Lorenzo replied.

“What a snitch, why are you even here?”

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright, I know you’ve had a lot going on today.”

“Since when do you care Berkshire? Last I checked you hated me. Now here you are beating on my ex-boyfriend and asking if I’m alright.”

“I never hated you. I hated that I couldn’t be close to you. I hated that he got to be close to you every day and treated you like shit. I would never do that.“ he confessed.

“You tease me every day, Lorenzo. That’s sort of our thing.” I replied.

“I tease you, yes, but I would never call you names. Teasing you was the only way I could get your attention.”

“What would you want my attention for anyway?” I asked him.

“I like you. By the time I realized it, you were dating Leo so I couldn’t say anything. The only thing I could do to keep you close was continue to bicker like we always have.” He said looking down.

“I like you too Lorenzo. I just assumed you wanted nothing to do with me, so I moved on.”

“I’m sorry, all of this has been my fault. If I had just realized how I felt instead of being an ass you wouldn’t have gotten hurt.” He told me, pulling me in so he could wrap his arms around me.

“It’s okay, we’re here now,” I told him moving in closer, feeling the warmth his body was radiating.

We spent the rest of the evening looking up at the stars and laughing about everything it took for us to get here. How an hour ago, my life felt so complicated but now it was all just so simple.

[dazed--xx]

SKZ reaction: S/O has childhood trauma (Hyung Line)

T/W: mentions of childhood trauma, mentions of bullying, mentions of abandonment, mentions of dead best friend, mentions of neglect, arguments, crying etc…

A/N: I’ll be posting the rest of the members soon then I will be posting the Jeongin angst request next then chapter 2 of one more time then I’ll start posting Cardinal, thank you so much for the support and requests are open

Chan: school bullying

“I JUST DON’T GET YOU!!” He shouted, veins popping out of his neck as he stared at you in anger. Your bottom lip trembled between your teeth as you held onto your weak figure. You couldn’t even figure out what set Chan off, but he was utterly pissed. “Chan what are you talking about? That’s all I’ve been trying to figure out why are you yelling at me?” You exclaim after 30 minutes of his ranting your voice shaky, eyes burning from tears as your boyfriend spewed venom in your direction about how inconsiderate and disrespectful you are. He growls as he pulls a magazine out from the coffee table you had never noticed he had placed there. “Stray Kids Chan GF sends threatening messages to old schoolmates?!” The headline reads. Your eyes widen in shock “C-Chan I can explain this!” You defend yourself. “Explain? How the hell do you expect to explain this?! How can you justify any of this? You called my fan a hopeless despicable piece of crap and that she deserves the shitty life she lives now! How can you sit there and act like that’s not a problem!” He growled, tossing his phone across the room the case shattering as it hit the wall.

A panicked squeal is released from your throat as your hands cover your ears and you drop to the ground. You head shakes rapidly as you stared at your boyfriend. “You’re irresponsible and completely fucking stupid to do something like this! What the hell went through your head?! Did you even think?” He continues, your anger bubbling up in your stomach as he continues to throw harsh insults toward you. “ITS WHAT SHE FUCKING DESERVED! HOW DARE SOMEONE THAT FUCKING TORTURED ME FOR YEARS!!! YEARS OF MY LIFE! SHE DESTROYED MY SELF ESTEEM, SHE HAD ME LOCKED IN A STORAGE CLOSET FOR A WHOLE WEEKEND! SHE CUT MY HAIR AND MY ARMS AND THEN TOLD THE COUNSELORS I WAS SUICIDAL SO ID GET LOCKED IN A PSYCH WARD! SO YEAH, I FUCKING SAID WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY WHEN SHE TEXTED ME ASKING ME FOR MONEY! MONEY TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I OWE HER MY LIFE BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO KILL ME BUT DIDN’T BECAUSE SHE FIGURED ID BE USEFUL LATER IN LIFE! SO, FUCK YOU BANG CHAN! YOU DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED! YOU DIDN’T CARE SO YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF ALONG WITH YOUR LITTLE FAN THAT THREATENED ME AGAIN!” You snap, venom spewing toward him as he stood there his mouth hung open in shock as guilt filled his eyes. “Babe…” he called an apology on the tip of his tongue as he made his way across the room “I-I didn’t know—y-you never told me—I’m sorry I’m so fucking sorry” he cried as you held your hand up toward him stopping his march in your direction “Please just…just give me a second I thought out of anyone in this world if anyone would understand anything it would be you but you didn’t even give me a chance to tell you what I did literally last night. And I just I can’t believe you would say those things about me please Chris just—just leave me alone for a bit” you explained tiredly as you made your way to your bedroom leaving your boyfriend in the living room with guilt plastered on his features and sadness in his heart.

Minho:death of best friend

“I-Is it nearby or do we have to keep going?” Minho questions, you could feel his nerves from beside him as you point to a small light a few yards away. “It’s at that light” you smile at him gripping his hand. You felt nervous, you’ve never brought anyone here, to your safe space. You stare at the man beside you, your heart races at how ethereal and beautiful he truly was. You’ve never known anyone so understanding, so deeply determined to get to know you for you. You couldn’t understand him at first but now as you stare at him you can. You can understand the want; the yearning feeling of wanting to know every single thing about someone you love. You’re pulled out of your thoughts as you feel Minho’s arm wrap around your shoulders pulling you into him. “You okay, precious?” He questions, concern laced in his tone as a pout form on his lips. You nod a small smile form on your lips “I’m okay…… just lucky to have you” you confess as your hand wraps around his pulling him toward your destination.

A small giggle is released from Minho’s lips as his legs speed up to keep up with your pace. Finally, you reach the small angel light seated on top of a marble headstone. Your smile grows wider as Minho kneels in-front of the stone placing a page of sheet music, “your song is beautiful” he states “I hope you don’t mind that you don’t mind that I sang it to Y/N, so she’d go out with me. It really spoke to me and explained how I feel about her.” He apologizes softly. “O-Oh! I’m Lee Minho, I forgot to tell you who I am.” You stare at your best friend's grave. “He’d be happy you came honestly I talk about you all the time.” You confess. “Is it inappropriate for me to ask where his family is?” Minho questions. “His mother still comes to see him every day. His dad can’t.” You explain, as you look at your boyfriend “too much guilt, me and his dad were the ones that found him” Minhos eyebrows scrunch together in confusion “H-how did you say he died again?” You shook your head “I didn’t. He committed…you know when we were 14. He had gotten into this huge fight with his dad about wanting to go to a music high school and came to my house crying when his parents showed up to my place he just disappeared, and we found him a week later in our clubhouse in my backyard. I could have sworn I checked there every day until we found him but yeah.”

You feel a strong hand gripping yours as you eye your boyfriend “I’ll make sure she’s okay. She’s going to be okay with me, so I’ll come see you again. And if you want, I’ll make sure your music gets heard. I-I’m an idol I can do that for you, my leader Chan really liked your song. We’ll make sure you’re not forgotten.” He states to your friends' grave as pride swells in your chest. “Thank you for coming with me” you state with a peck to his cheek. “Thanks for letting me” he beams at you.

Changbin: neglect

“I just don’t get why it’s such a big deal?” Changbin questions his tone laced with sadness as a sigh is released from your throat. “I just don’t like my family Bin, they’re not good people and to know that they tracked you down makes me extremely uncomfortable.” Your voice is shaky as the memories come flooding back into your brain. “What happened?” His voice is only barely above a whisper as he wraps his arms around your waist pulling you into his strong figure. “They’re just not good people. Please understand that at least.” You groan your hand rubbing against his forearms. “If you’re not ready to tell me that’s fine babe I just want to make sure they didn’t hurt you. T-they didn’t hurt you right?” He asks almost as if the answer would hurt him. The question left you puzzled. Did they hurt you……… Not physically, they’d have to actually be around for you to be physically hurt; no, you weren’t beaten by your parents. Sure, they rarely were home, but they never laid a hand on you. For a while you and your birth givers were quite…. cohesive. They’d leave enough food for you to make sure you didn’t die, nothing that was hugely sustainable, but you had been able to figure it out. From a young age, you knew how to shop for your own groceries, make money, apply for government assistance and just get by. You were sustainably independent all from the ripe age of 6 years old. Honestly you couldn’t for a moment remember a single conversation with your parents where you weren’t reminded of how unimportant you were in their lives.

You shook your head after some time. “Not physically no” your eyes drift to the ground. You feel your hair being brushed to the side as Changbin placed his chin on your shoulder. “You don’t have to say anything else if you don’t want to….” His grip on you tightens “I love you; you know that right?” You nod in response “I love you too, but I want to tell you. They just didn’t really act like I existed; they made sure I had just enough food to not die but nothing enough to actually help me feel okay. When I turned 6, they just stopped coming home every night and I’d see them once a week maybe…. I don’t know I just—they made sure I knew that I was a mistake I guess and I just kind of figured everything out on my own.” You confess. Your head hung low as your boyfriend rubbed your hair. You could hear his breathing grow heavy as his grip on you tightens “well you’re not a mistake to me, I love you so much and I’m happy that I have you and you have me too, okay? I will never hurt you in anyway” he declares pressing his lips against the back of your head as you nuzzle against his strong frame.

Hyunjin: abandonment

“Come on! Please just talk to me” Hyunjin pleas behind your front door. You sat with your blood boiling; arms crossed over your chest at his nerve; the audacity of this man to have disappeared for 5 months only to try to saunter back into your life like nothing happened. The fact that he couldn’t answer your calls or texts nor the final voicemail you had left for him ending your 2-year relationship said everything about how he feels. You couldn’t for the life of you understand why he finally decided your presence was once again needed. The pounding on the door intensifies as your nerves grow weaker and weaker. With a growl to yourself you force yourself up from your seat in your couch and stomp your way over to your door, forcing it open so hard it almost comes off its hinges. “What?! What could you possibly want?!” You snap, you notice the guilt and sorrow all over his features. His lips formed into a pout as he reached out for you only for you to slap his hands away. “I asked you a question, Hyunjin” your eyes form into a scowl as you cross your arms over your chest as you glare at your ex. “Babe…come on—don’t call me that!” You growl.

The look on Hyunjins face is almost as heartbreaking as his abandonment. “W-what?! Babe please let’s just talk about this! I just heard your voicemail. I’m sorry I’m so sorry please I don’t want to break up!” He pleads upon deaf ears; you scoff in response “you should have thought about that before you disappeared for 5 months Hyunjin. Doing whatever the fuck you were doing!” “I WAS ON TOUR! You figured that out at some point, right?” He argues “yeah… through fucking dispatch I found out you were in America after 3 MONTHS! 3 MONTHS OF NO CLUE WHAT WAS GOING ON! 3 MONTHS OF COMPLETE AND UTTER CONFUSION HYUNJIN!!—Sshhh please don’t be so loud” he cuts you off gesturing you to go into your apartment, his hands firm on your waist shoving you softly back. Your hands find their way to his chest as you shove him out the door. “No! You don’t get to come in here! You don’t get to waltz back into my life after I’ve already became okay with you not being in it anymore! You’re just like my parents; you used me up until I had nothing left to offer you then you just tossed me to the side like I am nothing! Well, I do mean something, and you can’t just abandon me and then show up when it’s convenient for you! I’m tired of shit like that happening and I won’t allow YOU to do that to me!” You growl. Tears stream down Hyunjins face “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to. I-I know it doesn’t mean anything but please know I thought about you the whole time I begged my manager for a new phone so I could call you because I left mine here! Please don’t break up with me I want to be with you!” He cries as he dropped to his knees his arms wrapping around your waist as he buried his face in your stomach “I’d never abandon you! I could never abandon you I love you I love you so much please I didn’t know what your parents did I don’t want to leave. I’m sorry” you stared at the man whose heart lay on the floor. With gritted teeth you sigh “fine come inside but don’t think I’m not still mad at you” he nods quickly hoping to his feet before wrapping his hand around yours pulling you into his large frame. You feel butterflies as the familiar feeling of his soft plush lips connected with yours, putting every ounce of emotion into his kiss. Your cheeks grow a bright scarlet as he pulls away, a small smile creeps on your lips. “Still mad?” He questions jokingly. You scowl at him “don’t push it.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for calling the cops (twice, kind of) on someone in a car who swerved at me on the side of the road?

(Disclaimer: I hate cops. But I felt extremely threatened and wasn't going to let this go without something happening.)

I am a high school student and have not yet gotten my license, and therefore cannot drive alone. To get to school I ride an electric scooter, it looks a bit stupid as a high schooler but it is the only way possible for me to get to school on time. (I have a class before school in the morning, and both parents have work.) I've been doing this for over three years and have had no problems until recently.

Two or three weeks ago, I was on my way home from school. I noticed a car approaching from behind, and moved to the very edge of the road as I would normally. I was literally in the gutter on the side of the road, nowhere near where cars would be. This car, however, then sped up rapidly and swerved within 2-3 feet of hitting me. Probably not trying to actually hit me, but clearly trying to scare me or something of the sort. The person in the passenger seat was screaming the whole time.

The car sped off (I should mention that the speed limit on this road is 25 mph, and the car was going at least 50-60 mph) and after standing in shock for a moment I followed them home since they apparently lived in my neighborhood. I caught two teenage boys leaving the car, and asked if they had been in that car and had swerved at me on the road. They denied everything and went inside the house.

I went home and after a short while, came back with my father to back me up. Asshole move from me, I know, but he insisted on going in case the boys decided to get violent. I made him wait a short distance back, then rang the doorbell. Waited for a while, no answer. They were clearly still inside; the car was still parked on the road nearby and I hadn't been gone for long.

When they didn't answer, I then went home and called the police. I gave them the license plate number and the guy's address, and they said there had been reports of him speeding and being reckless before. The cops went to the house and yelled at them, and I thought it was over then. I most certainly did not want to press the issue any further, the shock and adrenaline was wearing off at this point and I just wanted to be done.

But several days later, I was sent screenshots of the driver of that car spreading hate about me on Snapchat for getting him in trouble. Now this is kind of difficult to explain, but I am unfortunately somewhat well known for riding an electric scooter to school. But up until this point, people just were aware of my existence. After the Snapchat posts and messages about me were spread, all of that turned into pure hate. Every time I was seen with that stupid scooter, people would scream that they wished I would fall and stuff like that. None of this had happened before, and I was (and am) miserable and scared. I don't feel safe anywhere around school because this is still ongoing.

I also tried to contact him via Instagram messages, to which he did not respond. That was three times that I attempted to contact him: first by following him as he was getting out of the car, second by ringing the doorbell, and third by messaging him.

Two days ago, I got my mom to pull me out of school early because I was feeling like crap after some particularly bad harassment in the morning. In the office as I was asking to sign out, I started crying in front of the school police officer, and she asked for the full story. I told her about the online posts and the catcalling and harassment I dealt with every day, and she took it very seriously. I didn't want her to do anything really, but she did anyway (I'm not upset about this honestly, it was probably a good thing). She said that the patrol officers usually didn't do much about stuff like this, but she could and would do a lot more.

She pulled the guy out of his class after I had left to go home, and in her words "put the fear of God in that kid"; telling him he should have lost his license and that since he was 18 he could face real consequences and go to jail for stuff like this. He has been told that he has to stay at least three feet away from me at all times.

Since then, he hasn't said anything to me in person, and hasn't posted anything publicly online. I still don't feel safe at school or anywhere in the area, but I've been taking an alternate route to try to avoid being seen and yelled at as much.

Am I the asshole? I honestly think we both might be, but I do feel somewhat justified by the fact that he at least got some sort of consequence for threatening my life like that and causing that level of problem.

What are these acronyms?

[sprite-writes]

failed romantics

Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader (original female character)

Summary: Secrets can’t be kept forever, and what better time to reveal them than the Enterprise night shift.

Word Count: 5,902

A/N: yay another chapter!! I have been so excited to write this one since I started this series, I hope you all like it. As always very special thanks to @lightning-writes without them these chapters would literally never get finished LOL immediately after finishing this plz go check out their bucky series; good heart (faulty machine of a man) it kills me in the best way. anyways, thank you for reading plz like + comment if you enjoyed :)

Leonard can only barely make out Kirk’s face under the dim bulb, but he is pissed enough that Jim’s mug is the last thing he wants to see. The music is loud, so goddamn loud , loud enough that the whiskey did nothing for his headache. 

“This is not what I had in mind when you said you knew a place,” he yells over the music, staring down the side of Kirk's face. 

“What?” the captain calls back, still oblivious to Leonard's scowl. Kirk is absent, completely distracted by the crowd, more specifically the women . His gaze filters from person to person as they pass by the table, a dumb smile on his face the entire time. If steam could come out of Leonard’s ears, it would. 

“I said this isn't what I had in mind for tonight.” He reaches across the table and firmly flicks his friend’s temple. 

“Hey! What's your problem?” Kirk whines. Leonard is satisfied to have gotten his attention—finally. 

“You said you knew a nice place– you said it was a bar!” 

“Yeah and? This is both of those things!” 

“This is a goddamned petri dish!” 

It is. Leonard has refused to even allow his bare skin to touch the tabletop, weary of the unknown sticky substances covering it. There are so many bodies— human and otherwise— packed into the space, it's suffocating, and certainly a fire hazard. It's gross, downright unsanitary, and fucking loud.  

“You’re dramatic, Bones, it's nice enough. Loosen up! Maybe try to meet somebody. We’re only in Yorktown for a day, y’know?” 

Tipsy Kirk is a fucking idiot. 

Leonard recoils at the idea. The captain has gained this…habit lately. This advice-giving habit where he tells Leonard to relax, to get out there, to get laid, and every time it passes through Kirk's lips, Leonard becomes nauseous. He abhors this subject, he really does. The only thing he hates talking about more than his dating life is why he doesn’t have one. Sure, he hasn't had much of one since the divorce anyway, but whatever he did have quickly reduced to nothing after meeting Sunshine. He feels so childish even mulling his thoughts over, and how it feels pointless to consider any other woman interesting since he has already met Sunshine, who is the most interesting. Interesting and pretty. Interesting and pretty and kind. He shakes his head before he starts down his mental list (again). Somedays, it feels like his feelings will swallow him whole. It has been so long since he felt it, the wanting . Wanting to talk to her all the time, or hold her hand, or just be around her. It all makes him feel so juvenile, like he’s a lovesick teenager. She makes him feel like a lovesick teenager. It is the single most frustrating thing he’d ever experienced.

“I don't wanna associate with anyone who willingly steps foot inside this shithole,” he snaps, “C’mon man, let's go.” Kirk protests, of course, even more so as Leonard grabs him by the ear and pulls him up from the chair. He tells himself he’s doing Kirk a favor, that the last thing he needs is a hookup— that he’s certainly not taking out his frustrations on his friend. 

The pair weave through the bodies, with Kirk stumbling after his friend and out the door. The cool breeze hits them like a breath of fresh air, and Leonard takes it in. Kirk, on the other hand, furiously rubs his reddened ear. 

“What the hell was that for? Are you out to get me tonight?” 

Leonard feels a quick pang of sympathy, regretting lashing out. 

“Look, I’m sorry, but that place had me sweating like a damn sinner in church, there’s other bars, and it's getting late anyways–”

Kirk would usually push it, and Leonard could tell he wants to, which makes him all the more thankful he doesn’t.  

“Fine, fine, whatever but we are drinking when we get back to the ship,” he settles, leading the way home. 

Yorktown is cold and downright industrial. Leonard hates it. He would usually be thankful for a pit stop if it means he can feel non-artificial gravity, but, between the dirty club and Kirk’s antagonizing, he’s ready to be spacebound again. Both the Enterprise and the USS Endeavor are in Yorktown for the night, in the process of a personnel transfer. The streets are crawling with Starfleet members.

They walk in silence for most of the way, observing the larger-than-life city and the star crafts buzzing overhead. Leonard would be lying if he said he doesn’t feel a bit empty.  Perhaps the low-lit, music-blaring monstrosity would have felt more tolerable if a certain lieutenant was with him and not stuck with the enterprise night crew. 

“You know, I wouldn’t have even known that place existed if it wasn’t for Sunny,” Kirk laughs. Leonard scrunches his nose. 

“She recommended that barnyard?” he scoffs. 

“Oh god no, she told me to stay away from it. Said it was the grimiest place on this side of the universe. I just thought it sounded like a good time, y’know?” 

Leonard stares, really stares, and wonders why he keeps expecting better of Kirk. 

“You’re an idiot, and an ass. The woman gives you stellar advice, and you ignore it, and stick her with the skeleton crew.” 

Kirk stops so abruptly, that Leonard stumbles over him. 

“ I didn’t put her on the skeleton crew, she requested to be. You think I would make her work more than she already does? I’m not a tyrant, Bones.” 

What?  

“What?” Leonard says out loud. “Why would she ask to be holed up on the enterprise all leave?” 

“I mean, I would too if the alternative was running into my ex and all his coworkers.” 

Kirk laughs, Leonard’s head spins. 

“Her ex?” 

“Yeah her— she didn’t tell you any of this?” 

“She said she wanted Jameson to oversee the transfer, give him more experience or something, so you put her on his night shift.” 

“No? She wanted Jameson to do it because she used to be engaged to the Endeavors head of security.” 

Leonard blinks. And blinks again. 

“Dude, I don’t even know how to change the schedule,” Kirk adds. 

 Suddenly, despite talking to her everyday for close to a year, she feels unfamiliar. Engaged? He can hardly imagine it, nor does he want to. Pictures of Sunshine flash through his mind, and he clenches his fist. 

“Didn’t know she had been engaged,” he feigns a casual tone.

Kirk furrows his brows. 

“ You didn’t know? You of all people?” Leonard shrugs, as his stomach forms a knot. “She tells you everything, and she’s never mentioned Ryder?”

“Christ, his name is Ryder ?”

“I know! Douchebag name, right?” 

He doesn’t respond for a beat, which turns into several beats. The gears in his head turn and turn. Engaged . He doesn’t understand why the idea eats at him. He himself had been married for years. So what if she was engaged? There is no reason for him to be upset that his friend—a coworker–had an ex. 

He feels nauseous. 

Kirk clears his throat, derailing Leonard's train of thought.

“You’re right, it’s late, we should head back,” he says, offering a reassuring smile. Leonard follows him, hands in his pockets.

“Do y’know what happened?” he asks finally. Kirk casts him a sideways glance.

“What, between them? Not a clue,” Kirk says with sincerity enough for Leonard to believe it. “She wasn’t really keen on discussing it.” He pauses and looks at the ground as they walk. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it though, Bones, I think everyone sees she’s only really got eyes for one person these days.” 

“Don't start, Jim,” Leonard warns hotly, clenching his jaw. 

“Start what? I’m not starting anything. I’m just laying out the facts.” Jim hiccups. “She adores you, man, like adores -”

“Sunshine ‘adores’ everyone she meets. We’re friends—good friends, but that's all.” His patience shrinks as his annoyance grows.

Jim laughs mirthlessly.

“No, Sunshine and I are good friends. Whatever you two are is something else entirely-” 

“Anyone ever tell you you don't know when to shut up?” His tone is as cold as the night air, and Jim shuts up.

Leonard wishes Kirk would drop the subject, trip over a rock, or whatever it took to never have this conversation again. Really—what he truly wants is for everyone to stop dangling this hope in front of his face like a carrot. He’s not an idiot, he knows he spends more time with the lieutenant than his colleagues, hears her laugh more often, and knows her habits better.

 He knows what it looks like. He also knows that he's a bitter emotionally closed-off divorcee— 

He tells Jim that Sunshine is his friend because she is—and he denies wanting anything more because It's stupid to want things out of his reach. 

Frustration heats his cheeks and begins to bloom into a headache. He knows Kirk means well, but that fact does little to comfort him. 

“Alright, I’ll drop it,” Kirk surrenders, his voice soft. “But there is one last thing you should know,” He pauses at the crosswalk and turns to Leonard. Eerily stoic, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Leonard's breath hitched. 

“Ryder’s got nothing on you in terms of looks, okay? Seriously he's like, 5’7, and his face isn't at all symmetrical-”

Leonard revs up and smacks Kirk in the back of the head harder than he ever had and feels no regret. Not even after Kirk's high-pitched “ Ouch!”

“Would you quit it! You gossip like a damn schoolgirl!”

The sign blinks at them to walk, and Leonard drags Kirk across the street, fingers digging into his arm. 

“Ow, ow, I was just saying-“

“Wait a minute,” Leonard lets his friend go and smooths down his sleeve. “How do you know what he looks like anyway?” 

Kirk puts himself at a safe distance from the Doctor, cradling his arm. “Well, the operations manager would usually talk to the department heads during a transfer, but Sunshine passed him off to me. I said no at first, obviously, because I hate managing, but then she finally told me she was almost Mrs. Ryder Denver. So yeah, I spoke with him a few times, just business. Have to say though, I couldn't imagine them together. He comes off as a bit of a douche.” 

Leonard breathes deeply, reigning in the emotions that he doesn’t need Kirk to pick up on. The idea of Sunshine being engaged does enough to unsettle him without knowing that the man in question “ came off as a douche” . He feels something boil under the surface. 

“Yeah?” is all he can strangle out. 

“Yeah—He’s like a classic douchey security buff,” Kirk continues, unaware of his friend's white knuckles. “You know the kind– uptight, condescending, has one earring and thinks it's edgy-”

“Wears their uniform a size too small? Yeah, I know the type.” 

“Exactly, and Sunshine is so…so-”

“Heart-of-gold?” 

“Yeah! Opposites attract I guess, but I don't know, something was off.” 

To Leonard, the entire thing is off. All of it. Everything . He doesn’t understand why Sunshine decided he doesn’t get to know, why it is a secret in the first place, why she almost married a douche, why he cares so damn much��. 

The enterprise comes into view like the sun on the horizon, and Leonard is relieved . 

“Your arm’s all right?” Leonard asks, an apology without apologizing. Jim knows this and breathes a laugh. 

“Yup, the ear’s fine too.” 

The Doctor nods, but his eyes remain trained in front of him. Through the glass window panes, he eyes the ship, eager to hide away in the familiar place. He would have opened the door for Kirk, as a gesture, but of course, the Yorktown Federation Port has to have automatic doors. He huffs, and the artificial lights illuminate his red cheeks. They approach their home in silent tandem, their shoes clinking against the hard floors. 

“You should talk to her, Bones,” Kirk breaks the quiet, head down while he taps the access code to the enterprise hull. “Ask her why she didn't mention the ex. I’m sure she has a good reason, probably one you'll wanna hear.” 

Leonard wants to be mean. He wants to shake Kirk's words off with an insult and go to bed. But he swallows his pride, and it goes down like nails.

“Yeah. Maybe.”

Hope. It bubbles up within his chest, and he pushes it down. Finally, the stark white enterprise interior greets him. He breathes a little easier. 

Kirk stumbles over the first step— “ Woah ”-- and Leonard steadies him with a raised eyebrow. “Andorian ale finally catching up with you?” 

“Pfft,” Kirk scoffs. “Couldn’t catch me if it tried.” 

Leonard pauses, then laughs, the first genuine one all night, and it has Kirk grinning back. 

The enterprise is empty, its residents still on the streets they just returned from. So, without restraint, they laugh, and Kirk stumbles, and Leonard forgets for a moment about the unsaid feelings under his skin. 

Kirk is an idiot, and he’s a good friend.  

He’s happy to banter about whatever comes out of Kirk's drunk mouth and to correct him when he takes a wrong turn in his own ship. Leonard claps his hand on his shoulder and drawls, “It’s this way, captain .”

“Uhh, no , Chekov keeps the good whiskey in his locker, this way,” Kirk insists with a point down the hallway, and Leonard is amazed at his eagerness to get blacked out the night before embarking. 

“Are you out of your mind? No way. You can drink like a fish when you don't need to fly a starship in the morning.” 

“What are you, my mom ?” 

Christ.

“No, but I pity the poor woman,” he huffs and gestures down the hallway leading to his quarters. Kirk frowns and scrunches his nose.

“Raincheck, Kirk, c’mon.” 

He begrudgingly obliges, having given his friend a hard enough time tonight anyway. The yawn that crawls out of his mouth a moment later corroborates Leonard's decision. He is tired, and Kirk shouldn't drink anymore, but he’d be lying if he said those were his only motives to end the night early.

“You win this one, Bones, but next time I swear we'll be out till sunrise,” he says between another yawn and a hiccup. 

“Uh-huh. Try not to trip.” Leonard reminds himself of the virtue of patience and keeps walking. 

Kirk manages to type in his room's access code all by himself, with only a moment of squinting, and a break to roll up the black sleeves of his turtleneck. Leonard is impressed, and the bar is low. 

“Drink a bottle of water, and get some sleep, We’ll talk tomorrow.” he crosses his arms over his chest and waits for protest. 

Kirk only hums. “You headed to your room?”

 The doctor's fingers drum against the doorframe. “Was thinking I’d check in on Sunshine,” he says, blinks, and rushes out, “and the rest of the Skeleton crew, of course.  Maybe medbay too, then I’ll hit the hay.” He fleetingly wonders if that sounds believable, or at least casual. 

 Kirk smiles a genuine smile. “Sounds like a good plan, Bones. See ya in the morning, and tell her I said hi .” Before he can react, his friend waves, and the door slides shut. Then, he’s alone in the hallways, and he has to put his money where his mouth is. 

Shit . 

The way to the bridge feels daunting now, like climbing Everest. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever. Like climbing Everest with the shittiest rope ever, several pounds of emotional baggage, and a Starfleet captain breathing down his neck.  He considers just going to bed, pretending he never even mentioned the whole thing. Maybe even pretend he doesn't care to get answers. He can just leave it be. 

The desire to see her trumps all of it. 

The halls are deserted, which he’s thankful for. He doesn’t need anyone around to watch him squirm in the elevator. A deep breath, a punch of the open elevator button and—

“I told you I don't have any threes! Go fish, again .” 

He sees the back of the captain's chair first, then Starfleet-issued black boots hanging off of it. The whoosh of the door draws the attention of the room to him. Eyes sweep through the vaguely familiar faces of the night crew, all six staring at him like they are waiting for an explanation, which he doesn’t really have. The heeled black boots plant themselves on the ground, the captain's seat swivels around. His heart works double time. 

“ Leonard ? Hi! What are you doing here?” 

Sunshine’s got a hand of cards between her pointer and her thumb, and a sweatshirt pulled over her uniform dress, and it distracts Leonard for longer than it should. He clears his throat, and it shakes loose the feelings stuck there. 

“Just thought I'd check in on our hard working night crew, who is surely on task.” He descends the bridge steps. 

“Well, then, you'll be happy to hear that I am, in fact, glancing at my station every 20 minutes, and I’m the undefeated go-fish champion.” 

She waves the cards at herself like a fan, legs crossed and smile wide. 

“Undefeated, huh? Glad to see your talents going to good use.” Her smile gets a bit brighter, and she does a quick breathy laugh with her nose. For a moment there's quiet, and Leonard begins scrambling for a way to ask her the thing he wants to ask her. The bridge is crowded, for a skeleton crew, he thinks. The redshirt to Sunshine’s left breaks the silence before he can. 

“I’m not sure if I’d call it talent…I’m pretty sure she's cheating,” they grumble, and Sunshine doesn't spare a moment, whipping the chair around. He can almost see the panic fill her eyes, like she’s just been accused of a heinous crime. 

“I’m not! Are you still thinking about that last round? Because that was—”  

Even Leonard winces a bit at her shrill tone, and he’s pretty sure she just woke the navigator who had fallen asleep at his station, so he claps his hands on her shoulders. 

“Sounds to me like this card game has you wound like a spring,” he interrupts her before her voice jostles anyone else awake. 

She pouts, lip jutted out and everything. 

“Let's go for a walk,” he suggests. He doesn’t even let his nerves talk him out of it. She looks at him curiously, her eyebrows drawn. 

“I dunno, I probably shouldn’t leave…” 

“I’m sure someone else can deal cards while you’re gone,” he tells her, already offering his arm. 

The Ensign, Leonard still doesn’t know their name, waves her off. “Go, Lieutenant, It's fine. I’m sure we can handle a few minutes without you.” 

She bites her lip and cautiously loops her arm around his, leaving the captain's chair to her subordinate. 

“Alright, but don’t start a new game without me,” she warns lightly. 

Leonard doesn’t get nervous with her arm looped around his, really he doesn’t. He’s headfirst into this thing now, no room for nerves. 

She drinks her whiskey neat, he learns, and it surprises him. Surprises him even more when she downs it like a shot. 

The walk there had been quiet mostly, except for when Sunshine regaled the stories of her card game wins. 

“Did you have a nice time with Kirk?” she asks politely.

“I dunno if I’d say that, but maybe Jim would disagree.” 

She laughs lightly, and her finger traces the lip of the whiskey glass. He doesn’t know if it’s the best idea, but he refills her cup. 

There is a beat of silence, and the conversation with Kirk pushes to the front of his thoughts. There's a heaviness on the tip of his tongue, the desire to ask why . Without really knowing how to. 

“Wish I could’ve gone with you guys,” she says, her gaze downcast. There's a rare melancholy to her tone, something vulnerable woven into it. 

“You could’ve,” he tells her, and her eyes pull from the table.

“I had--”

“Yeah, I know what you– I just mean–I’m sure Kirk would have given you the night off if you asked… God knows he owes you enough favors.” 

“I guess,” she shrugs, “it wasn’t really the best night for it, though.” 

He could go along with her lame excuse, vaguely agreeing that, yeah, there will be other nights. But the ache to know what exactly goes on in her pretty head has words tumbling out of his mouth. 

“Yeah, Kirk mentioned somethin’ like that,” he mumbles, nerves permeating the sentence. 

“...what?” 

Shit.

“I mean, he may have-”

“What exactly did he mention?” Her tone holds a sharp undercurrent of something rare for Sunshine– anger.

Leonard runs a hand down his face, suddenly thinking of all the much more tactful ways he could have begun this. The gentle buzz of alcohol still in his bloodstream keeps him from panicking. 

“Nothing terrible, just that there was someone in town you wouldn’t wanna see.”

“As if ,” she scoffs. “Kirk’s never been that vague in his life.” 

“…fair enough.” 

She groans miserably, fitfully pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and burying her face in the fabric. 

“You were not supposed to find out like this,” she says, muffled. 

“And how was I supposed to find out?” He asks quietly, like the question will frighten her away. 

A sniffle comes from behind her hands–the sound tugs at his heart. 

“ I don't know. Maybe someone could have told you when I’m dead and then we’d never have to have this conversation.” 

He reaches for her slowly, taking her wrists in a gentle hold and pulling them away from her face, revealing her reddened nose and watery eyes. Her hands are cold, and grow stiff under his touch. 

“Sunshine. It's an ex , not a damn intergalactic scandal. There are worse conversations to have,” he reasons. 

“You don't get it,” she tells him matter-of-factly, pulling her hands from his touch. Embarrassment quickly heats his body, and he wipes his palms on his pants. 

“I’d get it a lot more if you talked about it.” He flexes his jaw, frustration bleeding into his voice. 

She narrows her eyes, punctuating her glare with a sniffle. 

“If I wanted to talk about it, I would’ve.”

“With Kirk? Because he seems to get it.” 

“Why are you acting so—”

“Concerned? Oh, I dunno because you’re my friend?” Exasperation colors his tone.

“I was gonna say entitled,” she grits out. Her anger comes out half-heartedly, sounding more like watery sadness than anything. “I don't tell you everything, and I don't have to. You’re not my-” She sighs. “Why does it matter? I was engaged for like, a year, and now, I’m not.” 

You’re not my–

Her half sentence sticks in his mind and sends blood rushing to his head. He thinks of all the things that he is to her: a colleague, a doctor, a friend. All the things he isn’t feels like a gaping hole. 

He watches her clench her fists and force her tears back. 

“It matters because it upsets you enough to work the night shift,” he sighs, the anger he’s been holding seeps out of his hands like water. “I’m not pressing you for the latest gossip, Sunny. I’m asking because it would be lousy of me not to.” 

She says nothing, taking in his words. 

“I’m no stranger to this stuff, y’know,” he prods her gently. “My ex-wife sent me running all the way to space .” He says lightly, and the corners of her mouth twitch up briefly.

“He didn't send me running, I sent him,” she confesses, shaking her head. 

“ You ?” 

“Me. The thing is,” she shrugs, “it should have worked, y’know? Like on paper, it was perfect. Ryder and I were academy sweethearts, liked all the same shit, were top of our classes, blah, blah, blah.” She rolls her eyes. “Our friends used to tease us, say that it wasn't fair, and we were too in love.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It does, doesn’t it?” she says, sighing. Her eyes drift nowhere in particular. “It didn’t feel nice after a while though. It felt suffocating. I was half a person with him, we were Ryder and Sunshine–and that was one entity.” Her tears dry on her lashes, as she becomes entrenched in the memory. 

“But the person we were wasn’t me . Because he never thought my jokes were funny, or my hobbies were interesting or my friends were cool, so I was willing to throw them all out. Eventually all that was left was him. His ideas, his wants, his needs. I was backed into a corner. I should’ve left when I realized but I loved him… and I was really scared of being alone.” 

She pushes her hair behind her ears and lets out a shaky breath. 

“I was a coward, and I couldn’t leave. I wanted to try and fix it, figure out who I was, and then maybe Ryder could love that person,” She shakes her head. “I was naive. Ryder always wanted someone I couldn’t be. Someone quieter or someone better at being a person. I’m always so all over the place you know? Too much for him.”

“You’re not–”

“It's okay, Len, you don't have to say anything.” she says, meeting his eyes again, taming the budding fire in his heart. 

The idea of Sunshine being anything but completely herself unnerves him. Her jokes are funny, he can’t recall ever laughing as much before she boarded the enterprise. Her ramblings about xenobotany and classic earth songs never fail to catch his attention, even when he barely knows what she's talking about. Being around Sunshine is as easy as breathing, and he’s starting to need it as much too. 

“Anyways, he proposed our senior year, like we weren’t a sinking ship, and I said yes and pretended like the ring wasn’t a last-ditch attempt to bring us back to life.” 

Her teeth sink into her lip, her eyes dragging to her lap.

“I don't know what it was, but one night I just…broke. I couldn’t keep pretending to be someone I wasn’t, or beg to be loved.”

A few tears slide down her cheeks, she scrubs them away with her sleeve.

Leonard wants to tell her that she should never have to beg for anything in the first place, least of all love; he wants to tell her that she's worthy just the way she is. His fingers twitch with the desire to take her by the shoulders and tell her over and over that she’s perfect, that she couldn’t be too much if she tried. Sunshine has always had a magnetic pull to her, drawing in everyone she meets with her warmth. The idea of anyone taking that away from her pulls his heartstrings tight enough to snap. He holds back his anger, refraining from telling her that Ryder is an asshole who didn’t deserve a second of her time. 

The wiser part of him knows that's not what he needs.

“We had planned to be on the USS Endeavor together, but I rescinded my application. I signed up to do on-planet research instead. I wrote a long letter, left it on our bed, packed up my things, and left.” 

She coughs in a way that he knows is covering up a sob and takes a deep breath. The sound sends a pang of emotion through him.

“It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. We were engaged, for Christ's sake, and I couldn’t even look him in the eye when I left him. And don’t even get me started on the fallout. We had all the same friends, and our families were so close… it was all so humiliating . Everyone expected us to live happily ever after, and then, there I was, giving him back his ring in a coffee shop.”  

She knocks back the rest of her drink, like a consolation prize for getting all the words out. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Len. I never wanted you to think of me like that, as someone who would do that.” 

“ Sweetheart ,” he says like a plea, calling her attention. “No one in their right mind would think differently of you for leaving something that wasn’t good for you– or at least they shouldn’t.” 

She's shaking her head before he finishes his sentence. 

“But I–”

“I know. You didn’t go about it the way you maybe should’ve– or the way you wanted to. It doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you any less… good.”

She hiccups, her chest rising and falling rapidly as another stream of tears drips down her cheeks. He can't help himself – and even if he could, he doesn’t want to – he brings both hands to her cheeks, wiping away the salty tears. 

“It's alright,” he says gently, swiping his thumb under her eye again. “You’re alright.”

She nods, breaths finally evening out, and his hands reluctantly fall back onto his lap. 

He remembers well the storm of feelings his divorce left him with. The gulit, the lonliness, feeling like the world was ending. 

“I get it, y’know. The shitty relationship, becoming somebody you don't wanna be,” the barstool squeaks as he leans on the counter. He hasn't talked about his marriage since he told the story to Kirk years ago. It feels odd to tell it again. 

“My ex and I met in college, fell head over heels, and I proposed a year later. I thought… well, we both thought we were soulmates. There was this connection between us that I’d never felt before, and I thought this must be it.” 

“After a year ?” she gawks. He casts her a sideways glance and chuckles. 

“A perfect year, mind you. Not a single disagreement, not a bad date– every day was straight out of a damn love story or something. Until we got hitched, that is. Then it was all disagreements.”

 He anxiously taps a rhythm on the bar top. The memory still burns him now, of the fiery conflict, of the sleepless nights. 

“We were the same in all the worst ways, stubborn, headstrong, prideful. We couldn't settle an argument to save our lives. It probably didn't help that I was in the middle of residency and pulling 100-hour weeks. It was miserable. I hardly recognized myself… I know I don’t have the best temper, but I never wanted to be an angry person.” 

He lets out a slow breath, “I was mad as hell when she called it quits, said a lot of stuff I regret. But she was right to do it. We brought out the worst in each other, I was just too narrow-minded to see it. All this to say, I’m sure I would have taken the night shift to avoid her too.” 

Sunshine rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, her thumb pressing circles into the muscle. 

“I’m sorry, Len.”

He leans into her touch without thinking about it. “These things happen,” he tells her decidedly. “When something’s not right, there's nothing you can do to change that. You do the best you can with where you’re at, that's all.” He pictures himself, young and full of fire, holding onto something that had already slipped away. “Which you did, Sunshine. I know it’s hard to see now, but I promise it gets easier.”

When he drags his gaze from the mahogany bar top back to Sunshine, she's watching him curiously. 

“What am I supposed to see?”

“That you were young, and scared, and you did what you needed to for yourself. Even if it's not shit you’re proud of, it makes you who you are. You learn, and it makes you better.” 

She says nothing, silently considering his words for several moments. “Well, it better get easier soon, because it sucks .” 

He chuckles, “That it does.” 

 She reaches right past him and grabs the half-empty bottle of whiskey.

“We should toast,” she says, the melancholy in her voice fading away, probably tucked back behind a wall. “To failed marriages.” 

She’s already refilling their glasses and lifting hers to bump with his. 

“Thought you ducked out on the whole wedding thing?” he teases. 

“Fine then, to failed romantics,” she impatiently shakes the ice in her glass, “Just do it.” 

He knocks his glass with hers and agrees, “To failed romantics, and night shifts, and all the other shitty stuff.”

Her face pinches as she finishes her drink. Gingerly, she takes both of their glasses and stacks them behind the bar. 

Like ripping a bandage off and letting the wound breathe, Leonard feels lighter. As Sunshine hops off the bar stool and straightens her uniform skirt, he can see on her face that she does too. 

“Thank you for the drink, and the talk, Len,” she says, and he waves her off. 

“Don't mention it.” 

“ Totally gonna mention it,” she grins, “and when the schedule suddenly gives you two days off in a row, you’ll know why.” 

He laughs, and shakes his head, “I don’t think that's allowed, Lieutenant.” 

“I have my ways,” she says innocently, as she saunters to the door. 

He watches her go, everything she’s told him still buzzing in his head. He can hardly make sense of everything he’s feeling at once, but there's one thought that sticks out among the rest, that sits on his chest, demanding to be heard. 

“Sunshine?” he calls before she’s gone, giving into his relentless mind.

“Yeah?”

When she turns around, he’s flooded with everything he’s ever wanted to tell her. How she has seeped into every part of his life since he met her, despite his once armored heart. How she doesn’t see it, but she's changed the entire atmosphere of the bridge, pouring life into it with her energy. How she's taught him how to be a better friend, a better man, even a better doctor. How she’s not too much, she's everything. 

 “You should know, you’re never too much, that's ridiculous. Anyone on this ship would agree in a heartbeat. Don’t know what I’d– what we’d do without you,” he rushes out. “I hope you never think you need to be anything other than who you are.”

She goes still in the door frame and observes him for a moment. He flounders in her silence, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut. She suddenly moves from the doorway, quickly striding towards him, the sound of her boots clacking on the floor. He has no time to react before she gently places her hand on his chest. She wastes no time, leaning down and pressing a warm kiss to his cheek. 

“Thank you,” she says meaningfully, searching his eyes for a brief moment before she turns heel again. She’s out the door without him even mustering up a word to say. 

His skin heats where her lips had touched him, a crackling feeling left in their place. He lifts his fingers to the skin, ghosting over the sticky remnants of her lipgloss. 

He sits, dumbfounded, knowing he’s gone somewhere there's no coming back from.     

[purple-obsidian]

Wellll, since you said it was okay, allow me to analyze this fic like I'm in an English lit class.

First off, what I've been thinking about the longest is him tugging the blanket over her at the end. It's such a small gesture, but it's gonna mean so much when there's almost never any casual intimacy. I would be thinking so hard on what it means. He's offering just the slightest hint of comfort after what seems like a constant battlefield and why? He feels guilty? He wants to show her that he's there? Its the only thing he can offer her when he's so hurt himself? Those are the kinds of actions that would make you stay because he still has to love her. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself when you're alone on the couch.

Next, the scene set up to him cutting her cheek. Oof. I can only picture what he saw in himself in the mirror. I mean, doing the same thing your torturer did to you to your partner? Ouch. And that fact that she still has to try and comfort him and be strong when he's the only that literally hurt and scared her? Ugh. That was painful and she's trying so hard only to get beaten down emotionally every single time. No wonder she was dark circles cause I'm drained just thinking about it. But that would also make me feel guilty because he went through so much more.

And the fact that she had to learn how to react to him! She's only trying to do right by him and gave him space when he asked- aka leaving the apartment- and he hunted her down over it? Wild. But he probably thought she was leaving him. I'm thinking how panicked he was until he found her and then the anger set in once he saw her. I feel like he probably wouldn't have noticed she left very fast. I'm picturing she leaves the apartment very quietly to not disturb him.

On one hand I'm seeing a public scene, but I feel like he would just follow her until she was alone so there's no witnesses. Now that rooftop scene. That's where I feel like she would go to wait to go back to the apartment. Cause it's a comfort, so much so she actually uses it to dissociate. I'm not a writer so I really can't put it into words. The only problem with a confrontation on that rooftop would that any fight that would happen there would taint the memory. So maybe she goes somewhere else that used to be special?

Anyway, I really loved the fic and obviously I have lots of thought. I am still thinking about how he laughed at her in front of his men in the first part. So thank you so much for writing them!

[this is related to my ak jason x reader fic for those who may be confused]

it makes me so happy to hear your thoughts! i put a lot of thought into the little things like the blanket and other details to weave in symbolism and parallels that aren't all explicitly called out, so it makes me happy that they're noticed 💜

that mirror scene was a really intense moment for our poor jay, he had some realizations that he didn't process very well. and the reoccurring theme of 'oh he suffered more so i shouldn't complain or speak out about my suffering' is not doing reader ANY favors.

for that reference to him hunting her down, i initially pictured it to be something like reader gives him space after a fight where he tells her to leave, so she goes for a long walk or to a bodega to get food or whatever or just running a relatively normal errand, with the intent of coming back in a few hours. the only reason his men let her leave the building is because they heard him yelling and telling her to leave too. jason freaks out 20 minutes later and goes off on his men for letting her leave, maybe fires someone idk, and starts searching like reader is america's most wanted.

[i don't think he would go as far as to hurt or fight with his hired men for letting reader go, like he's emotionally unstable and very much not okay but he was still sharp enough to be the arkham knight and go through all that and plan shit out, he's still a fucking tactical genius in my opinion so i don't think he would be THAT unhinged, esp. around people who have shown him loyalty, yanno? but if reader ended up hurt or they actually got away and never came back, that would be another story, but until he knew for sure he would just wanna leave and find reader A-S-A-P like homeboy is DESPERATE to get his person back.]

i like your idea about the rooftop. like if reader needed to calm down first, that could definitely be one of their first choices. with the errand idea, i had a scene in mind where reader is carrying a bag of groceries or some library books or whatever item[s] from whatever errand[s], and rounds a corner to literally walk into the brick wall that is jason and drop their shit while he's still as a statue just fuming. or possibly, he walks up to reader while they're on the sidewalk talking to a random person about directions or the weather, and he's just a menace and yells at them to leave reader the fuck alone, threaten some violence, before dragging reader away by the wrist or even picking reader up and throwing them over his shoulder.

and the memory of him laughing at her in front of his men? i almost wrote that out as a mini-flashback in the first part, like how i did with the rooftop memory in part 2. maybe i'll have to do a little snippit or something to flesh that out some more for ya ;)

thanks for taking the time to share with me! i see your second ask, oh boy i have some thoughts 😈

xoxo sid

[1-have-no-idea]

make it hurt, love

Character(s): Crosshair, reader, mentions of Omega and AZI

Genre: angst

Overview: Crosshair’s tremors are getting worse, and right now he just wants to be left alone. You’ve always been a helper, so when you come and try to comfort him, he can’t help but take his frustrations out on you.

Warning(s): Angst with no comfort, Crosshair is a jerk, reader is called a bimbo, implied female reader but there’s no pronouns included, reader and Crosshair is implied to be romantically involved, brief cursing (in Mando’a and Basic)

1216 words

———————————————————————————

Tremors. He was having tremors. Crosshair released a sigh, brows twitching, before furrowing as he stared at his hand wistfully and in disappointment as it trembled.

‘Let’s get it checked out,’ Omega would say, eyeing the sniper with worry.

‘Maybe it’s not something that’s physical-‘ said AZI.

But that wasn’t enough. He was fine. Suddenly, he was snapped out of his thoughts from a soft voice calling out to him, making him turn around and face the talker. Oh. He huffed, light brown eyes narrowing down at the medic. You offered him a gentle, caring smile, but your eyes held worry.

“Hey, you’re still good, Cross. Better than any of us, that’s for sure. You were super close this time,” you reassured, offering him comforting words, but all they did was make him bitter. He grit his teeth and dropped his hand, letting it shake at his side while he glared at you. “It’s still a miss, Name, I still missed the target. That’s not good enough.” he said, throwing the gun down with a grunt as he walked away from the target, your eyes following him as you frowned sympathetically and padded after him. “Yeah, but…” you sighed. “It will take time, Cross. All of us have changed, you have too, but that doesn’t make you any less-“ you started, wringing your hands together nervously. Crosshair cut you off though, throwing his head back and groaning loudly as he turned around to face you, towering over your form with a snarl.

“Can you just stop?! All the time, I have to hear your babbling about how ‘things will get better-‘ or ‘you’re okay’, I’m so sick and tired of you and this happy-go-lucky act you have going on here! It’s helping nobody, and it’s certainly not helping me, so just do us all a favor, and shut up!” He hissed, words venomous. Ouch. That hurt. Your eyes widened and your mouth dropped slightly, shocked by his outburst. There was a flash of hurt, until your eyes clouded over with something akin to sternness or annoyance. “Excuse you? That was rude. You can be upset all you want about what's happening with you, but you don’t get to take it out on me, especially when I’m just trying to comfort you.” You scolded, both of you standing still now, in the middle of an alleyway. Crosshair pinched the bridge of his nose, lips twisting into a frown as his eyes pinched shut, taking a deep breath before talking. “It’s cute that you think you can lecture me, but I really couldn’t give a damn if you think I’m rude or not. All you are is just a kriffing bimbo.” He seethed, taking you back in surprise. That was the first time in a long time you had ever been called something like that from Crosshair, making you tighten your fists, before regaining your sense of calmness. “Don’t call me that, Crosshair. You know I don’t like being called that.” you warned, making him let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Or what, Name? Gonna give me a lecture on why I should be nice? Don’t like the truth?” He mocked, stepping closer to you. You sputtered, letting out an incredulous laugh as you stared up at him with wide eyes. “What is your problem?! Literally! What is wrong? I’ve done nothing to you, and- and even after all we’ve been through—? On Tantiss?! Did that mean nothing to you?!” You yelled, raising your voice, making his lips quickly twist into a snarl with rage in his eyes, but she didn’t back down. “I told you not to get close to me, I warned you. I am not like the others, I do not care for you-“ “Oh- oh, so then what were those times when you said you loved me, huh? What was that- what about the times where you held my hand or held me- huh-?”

“You said it yourself, I’ve changed.” He said between gritted teeth, pushing you back, making your back hit against the wall as you looked up at him with hurt, barely containing your quickly growing anger and hurt. “Is that it? This is the new you, or whatever? Is this how you really felt the entire time?“ “Glad you can finally see that now. You see, I never was the one staying for you. Do you realize that?” That made you go quiet, heart sinking as you listened to him. “No, medic, I’ve never stayed for you. This? Whatever you think we have? It’s one-sided. I’ve never done anything for you, and I don’t plan on doing anything now. It’s just you.” He said, lowering himself a bit to get in your face, allowing him to see each emotion flash in your eyes and the quiver in your lips and the furrow and twitch in her brow. All that swam in those eyes of yours were hurt, regret, confusion, and frustration. You desperately searched his own eyes to see any clue that maybe he was lying. You found none. Finally, you spoke up, voice wavering.

“How- why are you so mean? Crosshair, I’ve done all I could to be with you, try to believe you were different, and all you do is hurt me.” You whispered, eyes slowly watering up. The sniper looked at you with anger, inhaling sharply. “I told you to leave, but you didn’t. I gave you the chance!” He countered, jabbing a finger at your chest, making you press against the wall more as he stared at you with nothing but anger swimming in his eyes. He was spiraling. Seeing red. “Yeah, because I didn’t want to!” She shouted. “I didn’t wanna leave you, because- because I loved you- I really did- and I still-“

“I’ve never even loved you!” He bellowed, making you flinch back as stare at him with wide eyes, eyes glossy with unshed tears. All the anger and frustration left you, now only leaving you with horror and sadness and hurt. His chest heaved with shuddering and heavy breaths, still recovering from his outburst as he glared at you, before finally, he blinked. Brows slowly relaxing and eyes softening to something more akin to confusion and exhaustion. Then, he saw you, trembling with tears in your eyes and horror etched on your face. For a second, his eyes widened, regret and fear on his face, but before he could say anything, your eyes averted to the floor, pushing him away and shoving past him, sniffling as you wiped your tears away.

“Maybe you should’ve told me that before I went and fell in love with you.” You whispered under your breath, choked up and quiet as you quickly walked away, borderline almost running, even if it was childish, but right now, you just couldn’t. Crosshair turned, reaching out a hand and calling your name out desperately, before cursing under his breath and turning away. Then, he felt his hand shaking next to his side, and brought it up to stare at the trembling part of his body. His breaths were uneven as he stared at it. All you had wanted was to comfort him about the tremors. And yet, somehow, he ended up making you cry again and run away. All over his tremors.

[urlocaldesertdweller]

Venture x GN! Reader (who is equally as silly)

OH MY GOD. holy crap thank you, everyone, for liking my two posts of Venture content! There’s to my first 50+ likes, fellow venture lovers!!! Fluff through and through, a lil cringy at the end srry :,)

We all know that overwatch is a pretty serious group of people dealing with serious business with missions n stuff, which makes Sloan's happy-go-lucky attitude make them stick out like a sore thumb. But ever since you joined you made them feel less like the odd one out, almost instancing forming an unbreakable bond between the you guys!!

I'd imagine Sloan getting a scolding from most likely Sojourn yelling their ear off about how they need to take missions more seriously. But Sloan's mind would most likely go, "Well it isn't my fault for everyone being such a gloomy sack of potatoes!! I'm sorry that I'm naturally happy okay!?"

But lo and behold when you enter the picture on your first mission together they watch and take note of almost everything you do from the dropship, considering that you were seeming also sticking out like a sore thumb as well...

From you biting your nails in front of everyone, trying to make easy conversation with ice breakers...which you get either nicely or coldly turned down, and seemingly managing to find a positive view with a beaming grin...even after getting rejected for making acquaintances. Oh my, to Sloan this felt like true love with watching you perk up and make your way towards them with an open hand and nice smile...was that a small tooth gap.?

"...Hey, friend! Is this your first mission.?"

It takes a short second to process the contrast before they lean in to shake your hand with a smile revealing their chipped tooth.

"Actually I've been on a few before! But I'll be real with you buddy..."

They lean in even closer to whisper in your ear with a snicker.

"This is my first time seeing someone so friendly and chipper as you throughout the missions i've been through..!"

They pull back with a wink chuckling to which you give a quick nod winking back with making fun of how gloomy missions can truly get with the worst teammates.

"Ugh yeah, I know right.?! Like this is a mission, not your grandma's funeral!! Are Overwatch agents usually so dark and mysterious like them.?"

They slap a hand to their mouth holding back a laugh which results in a loud snort echoing in the small dropship, making some of your other teammates turn their heads, scoff, and turn away. Sloan worried that you'd turn away from their snort and embarrass both of you...instead, you laugh along with them and wrap an arm around them pulling Sloan into a giggling side hug ignoring anything around them until the mission starts...

From that day forward the two of you have been the closest of friends ever since! In fact, you two are so close that you both would beg to Sojourn in her office, crying with puppy eyes asking to have you and Sloan become and share a duo bunker. If it were not for the mix of your determination and Sojourn's lack of caffeine in her system...she finally waves the both of you off with a sigh.

"Alright, fine you two can share a duo bunker! Just pray that this change doesn't cause any further problems or trouble...because I will separate you two."

With shouts and skips of excitement fluttering in both your hearts. Usually, the normal agent takes under a week to move all of their stuff into a different bunker, but with you guys? You and Sloan managed to move everything in under 1.5 days into your brand new bunker where you grow all the closer to Sloan, just barely tipping over the edge of romantic levels, but neither of you would get all too shy and dumb to even think about love between the two of you.

You would share stories of your childhood, discussions of interests, and literally anything crazy dumb enough can be a part of your conversations with Sloan...

"Do you think that in another universe we could've been supervillains that absolutely hate each other guts.?"

"Nah, I'm thinking about if we could still be friends in a Lego world..."

"...Wait what..?"

Basically have the random conversations that would flow like water, some agents would overhear your talks and genuinely question if you and Sloan were on something...

The bunker would be covered in anything you guys share and love from everything in interests and hobbies from the floor to the ceiling. If you remember in my most recent post talking about Sloan gifting you a decorated rock like Rosetta.? Yeah Sloan definitely gifts you one (cough and definitely gifts it to you, they constantly think about it as a secret proposal of love for u). Then over time after tiring missions, you guys would plan a date for decorating smaller rocks as the growing family between Rosetta and your rock.!! And y'all seem to never stop with the arrangement of rock children.

"This one is gonna be named Rosie after her parent! She gonna have one eye and pink hair just like your Rosetta.!!!"

"...At this point why you don't call her Rosetta Jr.?"

"... Because Sloan. Then I'd have to call her Rosetta Jr 2!!"

"Oh yeah...But what if you then called her Rosetta Jr...The Sequel.?!"

Going back to the topic of missions. You are basically glued to each other hip to hip! And you always have small conversations...of course, if another willing friendly teammate wanted to join you Sloan would welcome them with open arms! Other than casual talk, Sloan would 100% hype you up and you'd do the same of course, if there were any worries Sloan would be there to calm you. Your teammates would groan seeing how you are still only friends at this point...

Of course, during the actual mission, this is one of the few exceptions where you two can separate in certain situations. Of course silly nicknames for the enemy team, goobers, goons, bozos, etc. Always calling out if a threat is coming from behind them, and after if they were to get any injuries of course you'd be there to patch them up on the way back to base.

"Aye aye...Sloan, you just couldn't help but dive into that group of talon goons couldn't you.?!"

You huff frustrated but you can't help but chuckle considering that they managed to only walk out of that fight with sprained wrist, a black eye, and some minor scratches scattered over their body.

"Sorry buddy! I guess it was just me in the heat of the battle! You know how it can be right.? Remember when you tried to flank and you ended up getting kicked hard in the stomach.?! Ha!"

They bite back recalling your own mishaps during missions as you let out a sigh finishing up their injuries and giving them a playful slap on their side, you think of a way to get back as you make your way from the launch pad to your bunkers.

"Oh yeah.? If you remember that moment 3 months ago.? Two can play that game! I remember hearing whisper to the rocks about how much you just looovvee me....you ain't slick Sloan."

They stop and walk beside you watching your back as you saunter back to your shared bunker their face growing hot and red and heart racing...how could they slip up a thing like that in front of you.?!

"...WAIT YOU KNOW???"

They shout at you all too stunned at the moment to care who's listening. To which you turn back walking backwards with a smile showing your tooth gap making them loosen at the situation.

"It's okay Sloan!! I love you t-!"

You are unable to finish your sentence as you trip over yourself while walking backwards and your back your smile quickly fading as you feel the air leave your lungs with a loud oof. To which makes Sloan go through a short roller coaster of emotions but they snort and burst out laughing and jog towards you offer their hand to pull you up from the floor.

"Now that wasn't very slick you was it.?"

With a groan, you take their hand smiling with a slight pained groan from the fall as you pull them into a side hug continuing your walk back to your bunker still as dumb and chaotic as ever but now stupid and chaotic with love. <3

"Shut up ya mole."

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

hi I just wanted to say I love your AU!!! Like so much!!! Any Marie headcanons? (Please I am starved of mommy long legs content your au feeds me)

AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANON! And yes, Marie/Mommy Long Legs headcanons ARE HERE:

Pre-Experiment:

Marie was a pretty tall kid for her age, and she used her size to intimdate other kids away from getting themselves into trouble. In a way, she always assumed the role of an older sister;

She got thrown into the foster care system thanks to a physically abusive father and a neglectful mother. Had to look out for her brother as well, always keeping him out of trouble, and learned how to do house chores so they wouldn't live in even worse conditions;

Her brother never ended up becoming an experiment, but she did, thanks to her "motherly nature" that was actually just a trauma response;

Already had temper problems, esp when a group of boys started picking up on her. She got angry, but never got physical with them;

Would often braid the hair of the younger girls as well;

Had a spider fascination since before arriving at Playcare;

LOVED dressing up in pink and girly outfits, mostly because she never had access to this kind of stuff before;

Helped the counselors a LOT with handling the younger kids. They loved her for it;

Was very close to Claire, and dreamed of being adopted by her some day. She was the mother she never had. Claire actually taught her how to sing, and showed her many cartoons she never had the opportunity to see before;

Was SUPER into video games! She loved those so, SO much!

Loved playing games with the other kids, but she was always looking out for what the adults were doing because she didn't exactly trust them to not start yelling at her without reason.

Post-Experiment:

She was forced to fit into the "Mommy" role, and modeled her behavior after Claire. PlayCo. told her to forget about that kind woman, and Mommy ended up believing Claire had abandoned her, or at least KNEW what her fate would be;

Doesn't trust any adults, and is protective of the kids. When they stopped showing up, Marie's childish mind concluded that they must have left her as well, as they didn't even say goodbye to her, not knowing that PlayCo. didn't even allow the kids to say their byes;

Actually hated babysitting Baby Long Legs, but it's not like she had many options. Had a neutral relationship with Daddy Long Legs, but resented him because PlayCo. allowed him to be goofy and more loose, while SHE had to be the responsible one;

She didn't see Claire during the Hour of Joy, but knows she was killed off. She feels bad about it;

Actually saw the Prototype as a cool guy until, post-HoJ, she was once again stuck mothering younger kids because otherwise they would literally starve. She fell lied to;

Hunted other toys to feed the ones at the Game Station, but started resenting their dependence on her as well;

HATES her body. Marie doesn't like how girly it is, how ultrafeminine it feels. She hates her hair being stuck in a ponytail, and her gloves, and how there's a dress modeled on her instead of it being an actual outfit. At least she could change it;

Likes singing, and would sing lullabies to put the toys to sleep;

Made her own room and filled it to the brim with all the documents she could find so the smaller toys wouldn't see them and feel even worse about the situation. She also found some weird posters and used them as decoration - it's mostly stuff the employers used to decorate their offices;

Had a single cassete tape with rock/punk music that she listened non-stop until it stopped working. Had a temper fit that day that ended up with her destroying some stuff;

Would often try cleaning up the Game Station because she hates dirty places;

Puts the Mommy act because it's the only way she knows how to have control over her own life, and sees the Game Station as a house.

After Rescue/General Headcanons:

SHE'S A BUTCH. LIKE. 100% SHE'S A BUTCH. DON'T @ ME, JUST TRUST ME ON THIS ONE;

Attempts dying her hair black after finding out that you CAN dye plastic. Ended up leaving only the tips as black because she got used to the vibrant pink;

Loves doing darker makeup and more gothic/rock accessories;

Opts for loose clothes, especially oversized shirts and sweaters that can cover both her torso and "hips";

I don't think she would wear an arm prosthetic. She gets used to only having one hand and rolls with it, plus she's super flexible so she can avoid asking for help from time to time;

Clean freak. Do not leave anything dirty next to her, she WILL clean it;

If she had been allowed to have a normal life, I hc that her body would have turned out to be chubby and muscular, and she covers one of her arms with tattoos! Unfortunately, she got turned into an experiment, and forever hates the fact she she won't develop muscles, much less fat;

Likes punk, rock and goth music, and 100% pirates DVDs if given the opportunity to do so;

Still likes video games! She's very good at FPS, but always comes back to playing The Sims and making elaborate storylines for her sims;

She's a toxic player sorry, if a guy is mean to her she would 100% doxx him or make him cry with the stuff she tells him, which happens all the time;

I feel like she would really like Halo and Mass Effect as well. And Fallout. And-

Please ask her about how to build things. She has been trying to learn because she found out she LIKES making things. Please ask her to do stuff.