#literally all of that is from THIS WEEK ALONE
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yameoto · 3 days ago
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angel in your pocket quinn fabray.
warnings; sub!quinn, angel!reader. not hate-fucking. irritated-fucking. masturbation (in the same room as an angel), voyeurism because God Is Always Watching, motel room sex. supernatural!au wc; 2k.
Quinn hasn’t had alone time in what feels like a fucking millenia. In the grand scheme of things, out of all that she’s sacrificed for the hunting life; her innocence, childhood, a normal, healthy relationship with literally any human being—all negligible compared to the great and terrible woe, of having absolutely zero time to masturbate. Like, almost zilch. Hell, nowadays she’ll flop back to bed after a hunt and pass out from exhaustion. Not even enough time to sneak in an innocent tryst against her pillow.
So, of course—with the rare occasion of her baby sister and her being (forcibly) split up for a hunt, for once; and Quinn having her first free day in—well, years (also, forcibly)—when she cranks the blinds down, sinks onto the motel room mattress, bedsprings creaking underneath her—she’s prepared for the most blissful, mind-numbing, apex-of-Nirvana type of relaxation. Involving; a bolt-locked door, three fingers, and a whole lot of time.
Except, things can never go Quinn’s way. Because just when she’s sufficiently worked herself up enough to sport a damp spot, hips rocking upwards as the barest brush of her fingers catches the hem of her underwear—there’s a sudden, blinding crack of light—the familiar crackle of ozone; and such heralds her favourite (derisive) and only guardian angel standing over her bed. 
“What in the ever living fuck?” Quinn hisses, scrabbling to fling the blankets over herself. “What the hell is wrong with you?” (You’d think, around an angel, Quinn would tone down the swearing. Except being raised by a gunslinging, monster-smoking preacherman meant Quinn veers from the Lord’s name like it's red-hot iron. Cussing was free-game, though. Swear words are made-up; God isn’t.)
You scrunch your nose, wings outstretched, tips brushing the motel room’s popcorn ceiling. You sniff the air. Heady. Thick with the scent of Quinn’s arousal. 
“It reeks.” 
Quinn prays you get asbestos in your feathers. 
“Were you indecent?” In your stupid angel get-up, feathery wings and all, the inquisitive tilt of your head makes you look like an oversized bird. A quizzical owl. She’s also just being mean in her head on purpose because 1. She knows you can hear this cute little introspection, if you can be bothered listening. (No, she’s not bitter that you’ve been ignoring her prayers for weeks.), 2. She also knows you’re just fucking with her, because your lips are quirking upwards, and Oh, laugh it up. Hoot-fucking-hoot. “Shouldn’t you tell me?” Quinn scowls, yanking her top over her head as she grumbles. You’ve breezed right on to the topic of the coming rapture. Lovely.
“Lilith. Her arrival cometh in four days. You and your sister must cross state lines by then.”
“Okay.” Quinn is only half-listening. She’s far too preoccupied with the red-hot pulse still throbbing at her crotch. Her briefs cling, damp against her skin. Sticky. Underneath the blankets, she squeezes her thighs together. Shit. Shiiiit. It gives her a brief reprieve, but it’s still not enough.
“—and if you do not give the angels an answer soon, they will keep coming. Michael—”
“It’ll be a cold day in Hell before I ever say yes to that fucker. You hear me?” She growls as her fingers run over the sodden fabric of her underwear, lashes fluttering as she skims up her waistband—because the reminder that she is, apparently, destined to be a hollow shell housing an archangel to shank the devil (housing her baby sister) is not enough to kill the last lingerings of her good mood. 
“I hear the Ninth Circle is unpleasantly frigid.” Quinn snorts. “You are such a smartass.” She circles her fingers, ever-so-slightly, against the thin barrier that just barely separates the ache in her soul from sweet, sweet relief. You are still, depressingly, there, and rambling on about scriptures and duties and blah, blah blah. She’d memorised all of that shit when she was three. Burned into the back of her skull. Experimentally, she applies a bit of pressure, just to ease herself. Quinn swallows, hard. 
“You’re not listening to me.” There’s that pretty little frown. 
“No, m’totally listening.” Quinn bucks her hips upwards, and her clit bumps against the ridges of her fly. She almost moans out loud. “I’m just saying no.” Maybe if she rocks her hips it’ll get a little friction righttt—ah, yeah. There’s the spot. “You’re aroused.” 
Whatever snarky quip Quinn was about to say wilts on her tongue. She pauses her movements, of which was hooking her index down to shimmy her briefs down her thighs, to glower—cheeks puffing out to exhale a frustrated huff. “Yeah, well, you picked a pretty shitty time, if you asked me.”
You sigh. “The dawn of the apocalypse will not wait for you to finish masturbating, Quinn.” 
Then, promptly and unceremoniously, you rip the blanket off of her. She is ashamed to say, she squeals. “Wh— hey!” Cold air rushes quick enough to shiver, band of her briefs rolled just enough that her cunt is exposed, and a current runs down her spine at the way your gaze falls, honing in on it.
Instinctively, Quinn goes to wrench the covers back over, of course, but attempting to tear the scratchy thing out from your hands is like trying to move a literal mountain. It’s also, long-forgotten in the swift way  you glide forwards, smoothly sliding to your knees and clasping strong (and somehow, gentle) hands at her knees and nosing between her legs and—
“Um. What’re you doing?” The words spill out in a rush, body tense—alarm bells ringing, because in the brief time she’s known you, Quinn has discovered she doesn’t quite know as much about angels as she thought she did—or as Father had told her— but she certainly didn’t think angels were in the business of peering up at her with those innocuous, unblinking doe-eyes of yours, through those stupidly lush lashes. Nor prying her thighs apart and swiping a thumb over the sticky residue left behind with a low, rumbling hum and shit. When did she get that wet?
“You’re not focusing. You must focus. This is the most efficient solution.”
“Fucking me is the most efficient solution?” Quinn gapes, and if her voice cracks and comes out an entire register higher, that’s her business. “That’s—you’re shameless!”
“I’m shameless? An Angel of the Lord visits upon you, urges you of your role in the Holy Scriptures, and you begin pleasuring yourself.”
Okay, when you put it like that, Quinn doesn’t have much ground. 
“I was finishing,” She blusters, cheeks flaming She’s arguing for the sake of arguing—with all the petulance she can muster, because otherwise, she doesn’t know what is an appropriate reaction to an angel’s tongue flicking up your skin, nose nudging between the crook of your warm, wet folds and inner thigh. 
Her breathing grows ragged. Fuck, fuck— fuck. “It’s not my fault you come at the worst time ever—” She’s aware she sounds like a bratty teenage girl, but you also lecture her with an ego the size of a small city, and when your tongue finally meets the sopping heat of her cunt, she makes a sound the furthest thing from holy. “Can—fuck—a girl not knock?”
“The Lord doesn’t knock.” You retort plainly, flat of your tongue dragging upwards. Quinn speaks through gritted teeth, fists curling. 
“‘Behold—I stand at the door, and knock; if any man hear my voice and—oh, fuck..—open the door, I will come into him—”
You stop in your tracks, head lifting. Any disappointment at the way your tongue slips out from her folds is quelled by the sizable strip of satisfaction unfurling in her gut. Seeing you; stare incredulous, mouth still open. For once, you’re the one taken off-guard. 
“Did you just.. quote scripture at me?” A draught sweeps in the room, and your fingers twitch inside of her as if considering whether to curl them to the knuckle or jerk yourself out entirely or reach up her ribs and perhaps yank her heart out from the inside. You do none of those things, and instead settle on gaping in utter disbelief. Quinn grins. 
“Revelations; chapter three, verse twenty, baby.” Quinn’s not her Daddy’s girl for nothing. 
“..It was an euphemism.” You grumble, annoyed, and if Quinn didn’t know any better—embarrassed—though from here, she can only see the flushed tips of your ears. Tne hand gripping her thigh tightens, a pressure so negligible Quinn might think she’d imagined if—if it weren’t for the fact, that, out of fucking nowhere, your thumb presses hard against the swollen bud of her clit. 
She cries out, hips jolting up off the mattress, and you don’t let her come back down–one hand supporting her entire bodyweight, as her legs quake. She scrabbles for purchase, and finds your hair a suitable levy.
“Ah—what the—fuck—” “And you call me the smartass,” You grunt, and another finger snakes in underneath the others, with a squelch so obscene Quinn almost blushes, though she only whines with approval instead. You thrust, deeper. “If you had talked back in such a way in B.C, I would’ve ripped out your tongue.” 
Score. Quinn totally knew she got you all hot and bothered. Despite it all, she can’t stop the smirk worming its way on her lips. You can’t win against a celestial being shaped by God—but you can savour the little victories. 
You’re panting, she can feel it—each puff of your breath—coming hot along her thighs and against her ella’s and into her cunt. Quinn is all at once hit with the dizzying thought that, that same breath has blown entire civilizations to dust—and right now—right now it’s being used to dirty-talk into her pussy. 
“It wasn’t even written in B.C, you sanctimonious—oh, fuck.” Apparently, you don’t appreciate her sense of humour, because you ravage her like you’re trying to carve out a space for Michael yourself with your teeth, fingers sliding in deep and pressing out against her walls, fighting against the resistance in their tight clenches—stretching out, as your tongue swirls over her clit. For a moment, her entire brain empties, and the tension—winding, winding, winding in a band she didn’t even know existed—snaps. Her hiss is strangled, nails curling into dank bedsheets and a white-hot flash has her thighs crunching together, slamming down against your head and all as she gasps at the feeling, like iron striking stone. It’s the most surreal thing she’s ever fucking experienced. She grasps, free hand fisting the back of your head, tightly, and she’s grinding out the sopping, slick folds of her pussy against your open mouth, legs coiled around your neck like a vice. 
In the bleary remnants of thoughts she has, she figures you can’t mind too much. Angels don’t need breath, after all. (The sexy heaves of your chest when you pant, splattered with demon blood or the spine-arching way you glide up her thighs is designed, specifically, to torture her, she thinks). 
It’s the quickest orgasm she’s ever had, in all whopping twenty-six years of her life.
Your chin come away glistening, a glassy sheen coating skin and trickling, down the holy, unblemished stretch of your neck to your clavicles. 
“..Wow.” She croaks.
Her eyes, unbidden, follow the bob of your throat. You swallow. An audible ah bursts through your lips, like you’ve just downed a bubbly pitcher of beer rather than her cum. Through the renewed pounding in her head and cunt, she hears a strangled whimper. She realises it’s her own, too late. 
She needs a beer, right about now. She watches, with hazy eyes, as you simply get up off the mattress and stray to the rickety table that hosts nothing but empty cans and spare ammunition. You pull out two chairs, opposite one another.
“..Not the cuddlin’ type, then?” She rasps, weakly. Damn you and your stupid feathers for looking so unruffled when you still have her juices dribbling down your throat. She’s overcome with inscrutable urge to wrench you back by the collar and lick her salt off your skin.
“Come. We must finish our talk.”
Quinn flops, her face buried into the pillow. Her eyes are heavy, lids dropping as she groans into cushion.
“..You’re not serious.”
“I did say, efficient."
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ghostofhyuck · 1 day ago
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NCT Dream surviving No Nut November.
AN: Posting this on clutch LMAO. Minors dni.
Mark Lee
I feel like Mark's up to that silly challenge of yours. A month without nutting seems like easy for him, he'll just have to shift his attention on others things. You on the other hand, thinks that it'll be easy for you two. Not until Mark slowly loses his mind, literally,,, everything you do is so hot for him and maybe he was craving for you! But he can't let himself lose this challenge, he'll lose his pride!! The first week was fine with him, but when the second week arrived, he's slowly losing it. Fuck the challenge, he wants nothing more but to be inside you. 
Huang Renjun
All Renjun needs to do is to meditate, relax, and just stop thinking about fucking you when you suggested NNN as a challenge, the prize was the loser has to cook for the month of December, and Renjun is not backing out on escaping chores. Everything's going well, he can manage to dodge all your attempt seductions on making him lose but he bottled it up so badly that it'll just break before November ends. Probably around 20th, he just realized that November's been too long and he's just, "whatever, I need you right now."
Lee Jeno
Contrary to popular belief, I think that Jeno needs your consent when it comes to having sex. So the NNN challenge would be SO HARD for him. The many times he has to wash his hard-on using the shower and thinking weird thoughts to flatten it just makes it worse for him. You watch in amusement as your boyfriend lose his mind because he has not fucked you for the last three weeks, but deep inside, YOU'RE also craving for him. It wasn't until you called a truce between the two of you when he immediately jumped on you. 
Lee Donghyuck
You really think Haechan will join NNN??? Well, at first he's confident that he can have a whole month of not nutting but that's all a fraud. HE NEEDS YOU. You're his life and sun, and no silly challenge is going to take that away from him. He won't even probably last a week, and will be jumping on you in no time because he's just touch-deprived and can't live without your pussy.
Na Jaemin
Jaemin CAN survive NNN because consent is sexy haha and he needs your consent when you two have sex. If you want to join NNN then he has to do that too. I feel like he has needs but he thinks with his mind when it comes to things like this. AND when you're such a tease for making him lose, he knows how to turn it down because there's no way he's backing down from the challenge. (His leo pride is stronger than Mark ngl) But good luck to you when December 1 comes, because he'll be fucking you until you can't walk properly. 
Zhong Chenle
Chenle also wins NNN despite all your endless teasing and attempt seduction because this man never backs out a challenge. His sheer competitiveness just wins over his horniness, that's why he can survive a whole month without nutting because he's thinking of the grand prize --- which is the loser has to give the winner a gift with no price limit. Although there are times that he almost lose because really, he's also a man with needs, the thought of losing slowly comes in which immediately brings his head back to the game. 
Park Jisung
Jisung will be the most frustrated out of all because he ALMOST won NNN and that would've happen if you weren't such a vixen who's only goal was to make him lose. It was fine during the first weeks, you leave him alone and he thinks that he's winning BUT it wasn't until the third week where your only goal was to make him lose. He tried, really, Jisung has to beg in his knees and start praying for the temptation to go away, but he'll ended up nutting on the last day because you decided to tease him more that he couldn't take it anymore. (Safe to say, you two started December with a bang lol)
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jweekgoji · 3 days ago
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Hiiiii, I really love your Yan! Sentinel x Prime!Reader, also your SentinelxReaderxStarscream are the best as well! I am a huge fan of both works and both characters, your writings are so *chef kiss* Can I request a somewhat mix of both please? Maybe the Prime!Reader are close with Starscream and it makes Sentinel angry/jealous? Obviously you don't have to, but if you do write for it please take your time :3
Prime!Reader/Starscream/Sentinel
tw: jealousy, rivalry (between Starscream&Sentinel), gender neutral reader. word count: ~1270 a/n: good to know you enjoyed my other fics~ sorry for making you wait too long! the last weeks are exhausting ~_~
Being one of the 13 Primes is no simple task when you have to stand between two fires.
The incoming attack from the Quintessons didn't give you a single cycle of peace either. Over and over again, you've had to brainstorm a new plan with your brothers and sisters on how to push the enemy away from Cybertron. It's exhausting.
At times, you long to lock yourself away in your own chambers, switch off your audio receptors to finally get a break from it all. But luck never seems to be on your side. Every new day started with a new problem, and for some reason, you only had to hear about it from two bots you knew.
Starscream and Sentinel.
Your day could start with an early call from Starscream, where your subordinate, though not literally, hinted at having him accompany you at all times. His presence is absolutely required!
Well that's just Prime.
But when you hear a knock on your door, you don't have to guess twice to find out who it could be. When you finally open the door, standing before you is none other than your faithful servant, Sentinel.
“You look as beautiful as ever,”  Sentinel smiles as he looks in your optics. “And your armour is so wonderfully polished, as I can see.”
Starting your afternoon meeting with compliments was something he was used to, even if his attempts to charm you with his speeches never worked. You are many cycles older than him, Sentinel's behaviour only amuses you at best.
“Zeta Prime would like to discuss something with you, let me escort you to him,” he holds his servos behind his back, taking a couple of steps back from the doorway.
“Zeta wants to see me?” you have a momentary thought. In the current time, that means another long meeting, hours of planning and working out...You nod.
“After you,” he humbly motions for you to go through first, his bright blue optics just drilling your own.
As you walk through the long corridors of the tower, the loud clacking of heels comes from somewhere behind you.
“There you are! I've been waiting for you for like practically half an hour now! Where were you all the time...’ Starscream says in annoyance, his wings twitching faintly as the high guard notices...him.
For a moment, a spark of competition runs between your two subjects. Fortunately, or not for them, it never caught your attention, though perhaps you simply preferred to turn a blind eye to it. You have too many responsibilities right now to waste time on those two.
Sentinel still holds that casual pose, helmet tilted slightly, as if the mere sight of the enraged flyer gives him some kind of enjoyment. It doesn't even help that he's standing behind you, you can't even see that nasty grin on Sentinel's face! Oh, how that slimy, hypocritical glitch is annoying-.
“Not now, Starscream. I'll deal with this later. Wait for me here,’ you calmly respond, then turn around and disappear behind the doors of the hall, where the rest of the Primes are already waiting.
The door slams shut, leaving the high guard and the advisor alone. Starscream frowns, his red optics aimed at Sentinel, who looks equally displeased.
Even though Sentinel was lucky enough to see you first today, the advisor had to come up with all sorts of excuses for you to pay the slightest bit of attention to him. He's occasionally lucky because you prefer Starscream's company to his own! Or so he thinks at first. As one of the Primes, you spend a lot of time on the battlefield, which makes you more often accompanied by Starscream.
Sentinel hates that. Most of the Primes, even Zeta himself calls on him far more often than you do! He's YOUR advisor, how can you care more about some guard?
Knowing Sentinel, if you were even with him for almost all of your time, any side glance would make him extremely jealous.
“You're doing this on purpose. Wasting their time on something that isn't helpful in the war,” Starscream crosses his arms over his chassis, not even hiding his displeasure.
“Me? I would never ,” the Sentinel makes an indignant look that is painfully unserious. “I'm just a mere asvisor to them, helping out with a word here and there. Are you afraid of getting screwed, perhaps?’
“To whom, you? Don't be ridiculous,” Starscream rolls his optics, then steps closer to the Sentinel. “They hardly notice you.”
“You want to bet, Screamer?”
“Bet.”
You don't know how long it's been since you left them alone, but by the time you arrive, Starscream and Sentinel are there, waiting for you. Not a hint of hostility between them, which is surprising. Whatever had happened there during your absence, they had found another target.
After that day, you completely forgot about such a concept as “peacefulness”. Every day, personal space was violated by one of them. If Starscream insisted on accompanying your every move, Sentinel would surely find another reason to distract and then steal you away from poor jet.
It went on like this time after time until you decided to end this madness once and for all.
When Sentinel unexpectedly received your message, he was hardly strong enough not to give the slightest sign of how extremely pleased he was. You, waiting for HIM, in your chambers? Oh, how much that could mean....
How surprised he was to see none other than Starscream at the door- Oh, lovely. Just when he's fantasising about nice things, you find a chance to ruin his dreams.
Had you left them alone for a split second, another fight would surely have broken out, but luckily neither of them have time to utter a word before you suddenly open the door.
“Come in.”
Starscream and Sentinel throw each other a quick fleeting glance, but not another word and they enter your room. It's large, rich, in your style. They've rarely had the chance to be here, even for a moment.
You stand beside your desk, seated in the centre of the room. You can recall many nights spent at it, searching for solutions to Cybertron's problems. Your gaze is neutral, though inside you are far from calm.
“May I ask the reason why you decided to call me and...’’ Sentinel pauses briefly before looking at his colleague again. Starscream gives him the same look, as if daring him to make yet another annoying comment.
“Your behaviour,” you begin first again, closing your optics for a moment, trying to remain calm.
“It's all Sentinel's fault,” Starscream blurts out sharply, pointing at the blue-and-gold fur.
“Of course— stop. What?!” Sentinel exclaims, now it's his turn to be outraged.
“Incompetent, arrogant toady, he should have been removed from his position a long time ago, ” Starscream continues to recount, which can't help but cause Sentinel's optic to twitch.
“I'm talking about the both of you.”
Well, that certainly got their attention. And thankfully, so did shutting up.
No matter how tempting the idea of removing the two of them from their positions and sending them away, you can't raise your hand and dismiss them. How lucky you are that one of your brothers, while drinking high grade energon, blabbed to you about everything and gave you some wonderful idea.
“Whoever completes as many of my errands as possible during the week will receive a special reward from me.”
You pause again for a moment, watching their reactions. Both of your best subordinates look startled, but, extremely interested. For that reason, you continue.
“I expect excellent results. Don't disappoint.”
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fanficsbysteve · 1 day ago
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Authors Note: So I was scrolling the Tumblrs a few days ago when @lazyturtlehottub put an idea out there that stuck with me a bit so I did my best to get something out there into the world. Hopefully its good. Let me know what you think.
Rating: G?
Word Count: 3033
***
                Buck sat in his seat at the LA Lakers game that Tommy had given him tickets to. Tommy had ended things a week before the tickets were for so naturally Buck was at the game alone. He had planned to go with Tommy, so he had someone who actually understood basketball with him. He had requested the day off work so he could go and Bobby had given it to him. Unfortunately nobody else could get the day off so Buck sat in his seat, an empty seat right next to him.
                Out of depression, and he had run out of flour to bake something to distract him, Buck had made a sign that sat folded nicely on the seat next to him. If any kind of camera came on him, he was going to be petty and reveal the sign. And he had every right to be petty after what happened. It was so out of the blue. So Buck sat in his seat and just waited. He barely watched the game cause he didn’t have any interest in Basketball. He had never told Tommy this during their 6 months together. Why would he? He had literally tried desperately to get into this pick-up game that Eddie, Tommy, Chim, and a few others played so that he could get close to Tommy. Sure he hadn’t gone again since that one time. He had gotten Tommy’s attention. Plus I think after maiming Eddie, nobody expected him to go again. So he never had to explain how he really didn’t like Basketball.
                The game slowly went along. One team having the ball, then the other one did, then they threw it in a hoop, rinse, repeat. Buck honestly never understood why anyone would actually care about this sport. It was so boring. Give him a hockey game. Now that was something to watch. Particularly when the gloves came off.
                Slowly the game kept going and Buck was worried that he wouldn’t get a chance at the pettiness he had planned for the game. Then the break in the middle of the game came. Sighing, Buck was bored and was pretty sure that nothing was going to happen when something called a Kiss Cam came up on the video screen in the middle. It started panning around to all the various seats, stopping on what would appear to be couples and they would kiss or make ‘no’ motions if they weren’t together. Then it happened. The camera came and stopped on Buck and the person sitting next to him. The person looked at Buck and started making the No motions.
                Buck took this opportunity, like the petty individual he was turning into, and pulled out his homemade sign. It was on bright yellow paper with black letters. The sign read, “My Boyfriend broke up with me a week before this game so now I’m here alone, and I don’t really like Basketball that much.”
                A chorus of Boo’s started to ring out around the Arena. Not sure if it was because of the sign or because of him, but Buck didn’t care. He got his pettiness out. Folding up the sign he sat back down.
Then it started. His phone started to buzz but he was going to ignore it.  He was at a basketball game and even if he wasn’t having fun or enjoying it, he wasn’t going to be one of those people who spend the whole thing on their phone. The buzzing would not stop. This was going to get annoying. The game hadn’t started back up again so Buck excused himself past the people sitting between himself and the aisle out. He better get this phone stuff dealt with. Might as well just go home if he wasn’t enjoying himself.
He got into the lobby area and pulled his phone out. He was getting bombarded with text messages from Eddie, Hen, Chim, Maddie, basically everyone at the Firehouse. Apparently they had been watching the game during their off time and it just to happens that nothing was going on when he was on camera. So everyone saw it. There were also messages and calls from Tommy but Buck was ignoring those right now. He couldn’t be bothered to message him before so he was going to make him wait.
He started with the Maddie messages. She was his sister after all.
MH: What did you just do? On National Television?
EB: I don’t know what you mean. I just held up a sign.
MH: You just threw Tommy to the wolves.
EB: Nobody who watches this will know who is being talked about. And anyone who does will not care enough to know.
MH: Don’t count on it. You weren’t super secretive about your relationship so lots of people know.
EB: Well we will just have to wait and see won’t we.
Closing down the text thread with Maddie, he went to Eddie, the next most important person in his life right now. It would have been Tommy but that ship sailed a week ago.
ED: That was brave.
BB: I was out of flour. And I was hurting so I decided to channel it.
ED: I wouldn’t want to be Tommy right now.
BB: Why not?”
Eddie sent over a screenshot of what looked like X or another social media site. Buck wasn’t super big on them. It showed a trending tag #LonelyLakersLad and #LakersBFBreakup and several other variants. Some of them had a lot of traction.
ED: You are going viral.
BB: Nobody who knows me would do anything like that.
ED: So you are telling me that you are 100% certain that you never hurt anyone the way you were hurt.
BB: I’ve broken up with everyone amicably as far as I am aware.
ED: And you’ve never kept in touch to see how they are feeling after things?
Buck stopped to think for a second. As far as he was aware he was fine with all his ex-girlfriends. They weren’t in touch anymore, friendship falling off the wayside, but honestly why would they do anything?
ED: Just saying. You might want to contact the recipient of your pettiness. He has been blowing up our phones here.
Buck sighed. Closed the Eddie chat and opened the one labeled Thomas. He hadn’t wanted to keep it the same as it was before the breakup. It hurt too much.
There it was, a lengthy string of texts from Tommy. Words weren’t the greatest thing you could convey emotion through. It was always up to the person reading to get the emotion you were putting into it and more times than not, it was always conveyed wrong.
TK: What the hell was that?
TK: I told you to take Eddie with you to that.
TK: And what do you mean you don’t even like Basketball? You literally forced your way into a game with me and Eddie and Chim.
TK: I know I hurt you. But that was next level pettiness.
TK: We need to talk.
TK: Please answer your phone.
TK: I’ve tried calling you a dozen times. Please just answer.
Buck knew that Tommy had called at least that many times during while he was just messaging his family and friends.
TK: I’m not mad. I swear it. I just want to talk. With words from my mouth instead of my fingers. That way its not misinterpreted.
TK: Please just answer and let me talk to you. Then I won’t bother you ever again.
Buck tapped the name Thomas, pulling up his contact details, and tapped the Call button. At least he could get this over with quickly. Maybe Trader Joes was still open so he could get more baking supplies on his way.
The phone didn’t even get to finish a single ring before Tommy answered, “Evan!”
“You said you wanted to talk Thomas,” Buck replied. He couldn’t stop the smile that came over his face when he heard Tommy call him Evan though. He also knew that Tommy was wincing on the other end at the Thomas.
“What was that all about? I was watching the game at home and I remember saying you could take Eddie and why were you there alone? And what was that sign for?” Tommy rambled. Buck just let him ramble a bunch. A thousand more questions came out of his mouth through the phone.
“If you would let me get a word in I can easily explain everything,” Buck interrupted. Tommy stopped talking for the time being so Buck took that as his time to get his side of things out, “You had just broken my heart. I was feeling petty because I had nothing else to distract me from calling or messaging you. I had spent too many days crying over you so I went to the next extreme. It was probably a little overboard but I was feeling my emotions and channeling them into something different. I didn’t want to turn back into the Buck that slept around to deal with his hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Tommy said, “God this isn’t great on the phone.”
“Well you were the one who wanted me to call you,” Buck replied, “I was perfectly happy just texting.”
“Were you though?” Tommy’s voice was getting a little catty at this point, “I don’t think perfectly happy people do the stunt you just pulled.”
“Well I WAS perfectly happy,” Buck was just as catty in return, “Until you ended things out of the blue, no real reason except some bullshit about not being your last.”
Buck could feel the guilt through the phone at this point, “Meet  me at Fleur Café. That’s close to the arena. We clearly have to talk in person.”
“Fine by me,” Buck replied. His heart started to flutter a bit cause he did want to see Tommy again, “I know you don’t live near here so I’ll get you a coffee for when you arrive.”
“I’ll be there in about 45 minutes,” Tommy replied, his voice was shaking a bit, “depending on traffic.”
Buck let Tommy end the call and then he quickly pulled up the map on his phone to get there.
***
Buck had gotten to the café after 10 minutes of walking so he waited outside for about 20 minutes. He was mildly curious about the X trend that was happening so he downloaded the X app and signed into the account he made about a decade earlier. “@ranchmanbuck” was the username he had created. He was living in Montana at the time and working on a ranch. It didn’t last long. He also only had maybe 3 posts on his account.
It took him a bit to get signed in but eventually he did and #LonelyLakersLad was still trending. Even the official account of the LA Lakers had posted about it. Seems that everyone online was either trying to find out who he was, telling him that they would date him, telling him that it will get better in the end. There was a few that were insane and threatening harm on the person who hurt him. Seeing threats of death towards Tommy by people who didn’t know him was disturbing so Buck closed that app and swore to never open it again. People online were insane.
Stepping into the café, Buck was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. He had grown to love the smell of baked goods since Tommy broke things off with him. It was soothing and calming. He smelled lemon loaf, and cinnamon rolls, and some savoury cheese buns. He just breathed in and then head to the counter to order, “Good evening,” Buck was always courteous to the staff anywhere, “Can I get two coffees, one black, and one two cream, one sweetener,” He looked at the baked goods. He had so much at home but he wanted something sweet right now, “And two pieces of that lemon loaf, and a cinnamon roll.”
Buck paid for his purchases and went to a table near the window to wait. He started to slowly pick apart the lemon loaf he had gotten for himself and slowly ate it, sipping on his coffee at the same time. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Tommy walked into the coffee shop. He looked around and spotted Buck. He quickly came over and sat down, “Hey,” He said.
“I got you a coffee,” Buck pushed the coffee his way, “And some lemon loaf.”
“Thanks,” Tommy took the coffee and took a sip, “You finally figured out how I like my coffee.”
“We were together for 6 months Tommy,” Buck replied, “If I didn’t at least learn your coffee order then I would have been the worst boyfriend ever.”
“OK so we need to talk,” Tommy replied, “But first I just want to let you know how sorry I am for how things went down.”
“Why did you not come back after?” Buck asked, “You just left me there. I figured maybe it was a fight that we could work through but you didn’t come back.”
“I was scared,” Tommy had his head down, “You idealized me. You didn’t see me or the things that were wrong with me. Just the good. You don’t know how it was growing up and just being abandoned by the one person who loved me, leaving me with my father. Or the first man I ever fell in love with leaving me because he decided someone else was better than me.”
“You never told me any of this,” Buck replied, “You kept your walls up and never fully let me in. I only know what you showed me. And,” Buck trailed off. Well he had him in front of him so it was now or never, “And what you showed me made me fall in love with you.”
Buck watched as Tommy’s face snapped up at those words. Buck had been meaning to say those words to him for awhile now. Since the day at the cemetery at least when him and Tommy had a funeral so that Billy Boils would lift the curse. And he did. But just having Tommy there with him made him realize that Tommy was all he needed in life from now on, “You never said that,” Tommy said.
“I mean it though,” Buck replied, “I might be brand new to this whole loving men thing. But I know what love feels like and I know what I feel for you. I realize that I may have jumped ahead a couple steps. Eddie tells me I’m an idiot all the time. And maybe I am. But I’m an idiot that loves you, Tommy.”
Tommy fiddled with his cup, “I’m just scared that you will get bored of me and leave me like everyone else.”
Buck reached across and grabbed Tommy’s hand, “I need you to learn to trust me. I won’t leave you. You are everything I’ve felt I was missing in my life. From the very first mouth static, something about you made me feel complete. And this past week has made me feel worse, like a part of me was missing. And I don’t like how that feels and I don’t want to feel it anymore.”
Tommy looked ashamed, “I love you as well. And there has been an Evan sized hole in my life that I cannot manage to fill,” Buck watched as Tommy looked up, his face setting, “Fuck it. If my heart gets broken, it gets broken,” He whispered to himself, “Evan Buckley, I know I don’t deserve it after what I did to you, but would you be willing to give me a second chance? I’m also an idiot who is in love with you and I might not deserve it but please?” Tommy’s eyes bore into Buck with intensity. This man meant every word of it.
Buck stood up, grabbed Tommy’s face and brought him into a kiss. The kiss lasted longer than either had planned but Buck was not letting go. He wasn’t certain of it but he thought he may have heard the shutter of a camera on someone’s phone. Maybe someone taking some pictures of their food. They did that a lot. As the kiss came to an end, a single thread of saliva between them, Buck sat down again, “We need to communicate better,” Buck said, “Since we want to try again, I ask that if you have problems, or if I’m jumping ahead or saying something idiotic, that you please just talk to me. We can work through these problems.”
“I can’t promise I won’t get scared again,” Tommy said, “I’ve got more trauma than you can possibly imagine. I’m not the ideal gay that you seem to have thought I am. But I can promise that if things get bad for me, I’ll do everything I can to talk.”
Buck smiled, “That’s all I want. I want to know all of you. Scars and all if you’ll let me,” Buck smiled, “Now help me eat this Cinnamon bun.”
***
6 months later, Buck sat with Tommy at another Lakers game. A repeat of the 6 month anniversary. Tommy had originally wanted to do something that Buck would enjoy, but Buck shut that down, “I enjoy being with you and seeing you happy and if it means going to Basketball games then I want to go. Just means in the winter you’ll have to get better at enjoy the LA Kings games.”
“Deal,” Tommy said. So they were in their seats at the arena. It was halftime as Tommy called it. The camera was panning around the stands looking for couples to make kiss. When it landed on Buck and Tommy. Smiling, Buck pulled Tommy into a kiss, as the kiss broke, he held up another sign just for this occasion, ‘We worked things out, so please don’t make me go viral again. #NotSoLonelyLakersLad’.  Buck smiled and kept staring at Tommy. The crowd was cheering in the arena for them. Just staring into the eyes of the man he loved.
***
Authors Note: Well that's it. I hope anyone who reads this likes it. Feel free to suggest any titles as I have no idea what to call this. If you have any notes for how I could improve, please be kind about it.
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onepiecestarry · 1 day ago
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A Different Kind of Pirate - Part 8
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Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while, I went back to school and tbh nobody told me my second year in college or engineering would be this hard (they definitely did). But I’m making it thru! Only two more weeks T-T. But I checked on this story and saw 1.2k reads and never would’ve thought anyone would read this let alone that many of you (literally gonna cry). And I loved reading your comments. So here I am to update! I am sorry it took so long but I promise to actually finish it this time :) XOXO
Fluff, 1.7k words, lots of plot points glossed over from the manga/anime (sorry!)
Zoro x Reader
Masterlist
Part 8: A Samurai and a Florist
The next day you all convene to discuss the plan going forward. As you sit you watch Zoro making your tea, just how you like it, and coming to sit next to you, handing you your tea and placing his free arm around you. You lean into him quietly sipping on your tea while you wait for the rest of the crew. Once everyone was there Kin’emon started.
“We must go to Zou to reunite with your crew and find my friend! We will stop at Zou and continue to Wano after reuniting with everyone.” He exclaims.
The plans continue with the usual mapping and joking around. You all were not worried about getting to Zou, especially with Sanji there first to check everything out.
---- (Time skip past Zou events)
After the long process of getting to Zou, fighting, not fighting, fighting again, realizing Sanji’s gone, and finding Kin’emon’s friend was over you all realized you needed another plan.
“Alright, guys!” Nami yells at everyone sitting in a circle talking to get their attention. “Let's figure this out.” She says with a worried but determined look. “Okay we need to split up, half of us will go with Law’s crew and kin’emon and co. to Wano, and the other half will take the Sunny to Big Mom to get Sanji back, we just need to figure out who.” She explains.
“I’m going to get Sanji,” Luffy says with an unnaturally serious look on his face.
“Count me in too!” Says Brook, Chopper, Usopp, and some Minx.
“Okay, I’ll go with you guys to navigate the Sunny.
“Count me out, I ain’t savin' that shitty cook’s shitty life,” Zoro says leaning back on a tree. “And y/n is coming with me, the celestial dragons can’t get to her on Wano.” You hum in agreement at his statement.
“Alright then I think Zoro, y/n, Robin, and Frankie should go with Law, and we will all meet back up in Wano,” Nami says.
Everyone agrees and we all begin to pack to leave Zou. You become uneasy as you realize you’ll have to work with Law, nervous he’ll be upset about your last conversation. But you quickly shake it off knowing it can’t be avoided.
You get to Law’s ship with everyone else, Zoro is unusually close to you. You look up at him with a confused look as if asking ‘What’s up?’. He just nods over to Law and you nod in response, understanding he’s keeping him away from you.
Bepo showed you and the rest of the strawhats to an extra room you’d be using to sleep while traveling. As you walk in you see two small twin beds and two hammocks, four places to sleep, and five people.
Robin is already making one of the small beds for herself and Frankie and Usopp are getting comfortable in the hammock, so that leaves Zoro and you to the last twin bed. He didn’t even flinch, already on the bed getting comfortable and falling asleep. You giggle to yourself as you push him over to make room for yourself.
----
The days flew by quickly on your way to Wano, Zoro made sure that Law never came close to you, not that you were worried if he did. On the last day, you finally arrived, finding a cove to hide Law’s ship in and hiking up to a remote area to discuss your next steps.
That’s when Kin’emon revealed the reason you all were there, and how he and his friends had gotten there too. To say you were shocked was an understatement, but of course, Zoro had no reaction. You look at him dumbfounded that he's not the least bit confused or surprised.
“What? We’ve heard crazier.” He says nonchalantly.
“Have we?” You cross your arms in questioning.
“No, not at all.” He says leaning back on a rock. You giggle at his demeanor.
Your attention is taken from Zoro as Kin’emon starts to describe his plan.
“We will have all of you go undercover and spread these flyers to anyone with the crescent tattoo on their ankle. This message they will understand. Frankie, you will go undercover as a craftsman apprentice, and see if you can retrieve the blueprints of Kaido’s mansion from your boss. Robin, you will go undercover as a Geisha, your mission is to get close to the Shogun. Usopp, you will be a salesman and you will spread the flyers in the capitol. Zoro and y/n, you both will go undercover together as a samurai and flower shop owner. y/n I am putting Zoro with you to ensure he will not cause trouble as a foreign swordsman.” You giggle at Kin’emon’s comment.
“Hey! I don’t get into trouble… that often” Zoro whispers the last part. You laugh at his defense.
Kin’emon begins to hand out locations of apartments and houses we may stay at as well as stacks of flyers to hand out. Kin’emon then gives you all the clothes and hairstyles to fit in.
---
As you walk through the busy streets of the flower capital you smell all the delicious food stands nearby, watching people rush from building to building, as well as others on a casual stroll. You notice Zoro is beginning to turn in the wrong direction, so to prevent him from getting lost you grab his hand.
“I am not dealing with your directionless ass right now pretty boy, stay with me for the love of-”
“Don’t gotta ask me twice,” he says smirking down at you, making it obvious how okay he is with holding your hand.
You both continue to walk around looking for your assigned house, eventually finding it and entering. You look around at the sad wood falling apart, and the floor with torn mats.
“I guess that’ll make do.” You sigh. “Where’s the beds?” You question looking around.
“You mean bed. And probably a futon in the closet.” Zoro says looking through the cabinets in the kitchen.
You laugh at his correction of you and go to look for the futon, eventually finding it and setting it up with fresh sheets.
“Any food in there?” you yell over to Zoro.
“Nah, don’t think so,” Zoro says back.
“Alright, I guess we’ll have to go out and get some then. You sigh.
You make your way past the kitchen heading for the front door, but before you can take another step you are grabbed by your waist and twirled facing the other direction with Zoro leaning down towards your face, with a cocky smirk plastered on his face.
“Where do you think you’re going.” He says teasingly.
“To the flower shop to see what I’m dealing with, and to get some food for dinner.” You lightly hit his chest, giggling.
“Hmm, I’ll come with.” He says letting you go.
---
Once you get to your stall, you realize that it's already stocked with most things you’d need thankfully. Suddenly the woman in the stall next to you comes over to speak to you.
“Hello darling, are you both new in town?” She says sweetly looking between you and Zoro.
“Yes, we are, we just got married and decided to move to the capital from our home village,” Zoro says before you could even think of responding. Realizing what he said, your cheeks flush pink at his words.
“Aw how cute, you two make a great couple, I must say. You will make beautiful children one day I’m sure.” The older woman says innocently smiling at the two of you. You nearly choke on air at her words, but Zoro hides you behind him, thanking the woman while ushering her back to her stall.
He comes back to you stuffing your face in your kimono’s sleeves hiding your bright red face. He lets out a hard laugh, grabbing your face and moving it to look at him, only making you blush harder. You lightly slap his arms away and begin to ready your flower stall as he laughs watching you.
You both decide to return home after “borrowing” some food, as Zoro calls it. You immediately begin to prep dinner when you return, making some rice and cutting some vegetables. Zoro announces he’s going to shower, you hum in response.
Suddenly, you turned around and pressed up against the counter with Zoro’s arms on either side of you. You get flustered at his actions trying to look away. Zoro leans down and whispers in your ear, “Want to join me, wife?” He asks in a deep tone. You freeze at his offer, face flushed with pink once again. He laughs at your reaction and backs off retreating to the bathroom. You quickly return to cutting vegetables to take your mind off it.
You finished making dinner as Zoro exited the bathroom. “Hey, dinner ready, go ahead and sit down. I’ll bring you a-” You stammer as you turn to look at a freshly showered Zoro with a towel barely hanging off his hips, leaving not much to the imagination. You stare for a good few seconds before you realize he’s laughing at you.
You set the small table while he changes, making sure to give him a nice large portion. As he sits down he looks at the food you made.
“Wait is this curry?” He asks excitedly.
“Yeah, I figured it would be easy and filling.” You casually say beginning to eat.
“I fucking love curry.” He says inhaling all of his food. You laugh at him, happy to know he likes the food you made.
Once you both finished, he washed the dishes while you showered. After your shower, you sat on the edge of the futon thinking about the day, when Zoro came in and practically tackled you down onto the bed. Both of you laughing as you recovered.
He grabbed onto your waist pulling you closer as you both go to bed. “Goodnight wife.” He whispers before you hear his soft snores filling the room. You melt into his touch at the thought of how much he loves to call you that, eventually allowing yourself to get lost in the comfort of sleep. 
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grapejuicebluesrry · 2 days ago
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28th november fic rec!
*welcome to the final show*
this is the last 28th appreciation of 2024 for me, as i'll be posting my 2024 fic recs in the last week of december so ill just include my december recs in there :)
so! here's my november fic recs:
Eternal Summer (65K) by j_klmnop
After the death of his estranged father, Harry makes the trip from London to Naples, Italy to say his goodbyes. He has seven days before the funeral and since he's on summer break from university, he decides to make a road trip out of it.
His carefully planned trip is thrown a loop when he meets a beautiful blue eyed hitchhiker named Louis, who is trying to escape his controlling family. With no destination in mind— just the desire to get as far away as possible, Louis decides to tag along for the ride to Italy, with plans to continue on once they arrive.
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now that we're alone (say you hate me) (18K) by 28goldensfics | @28goldens
Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are Co-Project Managers, constantly bickering at work, always finding themselves at odds, and competing to be the best. When a scheduling mishap with their company’s timeshare forces them to share a summer vacation, they're less than thrilled. But, as they navigate their time together, they realize that their animosity might be masking something a bit deeper than the hate.
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reminiscence (259K) by Fxckinf
“I’ll always look after you.” Louis whispers.
“Always?”
“Always and forever, Harold.”
Or
Louis and Harry were the friends that fell in love and then broke up. Harry tries to navigate having his ex in his friendship group, which only gets harder when it becomes apparent that there’s a secret.
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if we were butterflies (52K) by blueskiesrry | @blueskiesrry
“Is this how I used to look at you?” His hand hovers just over the collarbone of the sculpture, like he’s caught between wanting to touch and wanting to pull away, wanting to leave and wanting to stay.
Eyes stuck on Harry, unaware of anything else in the room, Louis whispers, “Something like that,” wondering now if he ever quite did it justice.
or: after recruiting harry to model for his sculptures and coming to know all his edges, louis loses him to a life more prosperous than he can provide. he finds harry again four years later.
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Seeing Blind (46K) by zedi
Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”
OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.
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Stars over Amsterdam (4K) by HelloLovers13 | @hellolovers13
Louis remembers how stressed they were, trying to get tickets at all. The waiting for the email with the code, which only Louis got, the actual On-sale. How Harry stood behind him, peeling at his nails nervously. Trying not to distract Louis.
But it had all gone smoothly and he had gotten the tickets within just a few minutes.
Harry had jumped around Louis’s chair in excitement like a bouncing ball. Already starting to plan their outfits.
A gold fringe dress for Harry, Fearless was his favourite album, after all, and a matching shirt he had found online for Louis. So people could tell right away they were an item.
That was their plan. Before it all went to shit.
or
Fate in form of Eras Tour tickets forces Louis to meet up with his Ex.
Hopefully soon to be Ex-Ex.
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[series] I See Us in Black & White (70K) by Ioudloudlove
Harry Styles is just your average 20-something. He followed his soul to a new town and now he works hard as a barman and lives alone in his little house. That is until he's swept off his feet... literally.
When Harry regains consciousness, his entire world has changed. Everything that was once black and white is now flooded with colour. And the first person he sees is his soulmate...Liam.
What Harry didn't count on was Liam's best mate...Louis. What is it about him that Harry just can't let go of? Why has his entire world been turned around? And is it really possible to walk away from your soulmate to chase a dream?
Original Prompt:
soulmate au where you see the world in black-and-white until you meet your soulmate. Harry Styles meets two people at once at the moment he first sees in colour, makes the wrong choice, and falls in love with the right one anyway
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Whole Lot of History (73K) by Blue_Green28 | @bluegreen28fics
Louis and Harry have a whole lot of history. With 3 children coming out of their twelve years long marriage they are essential parts of each other's lives even though they have moved on with new partners since their divorce ten years ago. Or have they?
What happens when Harry finally gets some money to open the coffee shop he had always dreamed of and they spend more time together to plan everything? Does their love still have a chance?
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Not having a breakdown! (I'm just here for the kid.) (28K) by louisismycat (tiflamomet) | @liminalkitty369
Harry has to park outside his ex-husband’s (Louis) wedding so that he can whisk their kid away if a meltdown ensues during the day. Guests will not know this and will only see him parked outside, it cannot be stressed enough, his ex-husband’s wedding.
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Hazelbridge (77K) by CoolCrying
Nestled in the heart of the Yorkshire Dales, the tiny town of Hazelbridge has been home to Louis and his family for generations. Heir to his grandfather's historic bookshop, Louis lives a quiet but happy life, providing a hub for the town's many queer people, and indulging his love for books. That is, until Harry Styles comes to town.
This is the story of a town and two bookshops. It's the story of a family, and two boys with very different stories, who fell in love.
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At Least Let Me Buy You Dinner First (35K) by Anonymouis
“I said, Harry. As in Styles. AKA you. You’re pretty and certainly a piece of art if you ask me.” Louis mewls.
“Oh,” Harry breathes. He takes a moment taking in Louis.
Louis watches his eyes work their way all over his face and body trying to read him. Luckily, he knows just how to read Harry. The moment their eyes meet again, Louis leans in a little at a time, as slowly as possible. His heart racing, giving Harry all the time to back out, but then, Harry is reaching around Louis’ wrist and sliding their hands together, lacing their fingers and leaning in as well.
Then…
The bell above the door rings.
They both pull back at light speed, sniffling and coughing from almost being caught. Harry trips over his own feet with the force that he used. Giggles fall from both of them while Louis steadies him.
“First day with legs there, bambi?”
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Come What May (58K) by j_klmnop
Louis didn't believe in love at first sight until he met his neighbour Harry, the gorgeous man in the apartment next door who saved lives and had a smile that made his knees weak.
Louis was determined that today was the day he would finally grow some balls and ask Harry on a date.
Until his plans were disrupted by an unexpected delivery. One that would surely ruin his chances at any kind of love life.
Or, maybe it would be just what Louis needed to bring he and Harry closer together.
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2 a.m. texts (30K) by everysingleday
Harry has just come out and, with his best friend Louis’ support, he might finally be brave enough to go on a date with the guy he’s been chatting with on a dating app. Meanwhile, there’s a cat that wants to murder Louis, a fast-approaching deadline for Harry to find a new place to live, and this minor situation wherein he and Louis can’t seem to stop making out. It’s not a big deal. Louis is just being supportive.
aka, a practice kissing fic.
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Roman Empire (11K) by Speechless
One day Louis answers Liam's phone while he is in the shower.
That's how he meets Harry, Liam's friend who moved to Italy just a while ago.
And that's how Liam loses ownership of his phone.
“Do they sleep on the other side of the bed in Italy?”
He hears Harry laugh for a moment.
“I sleep right in the middle,” Harry replies. “Because no one will marry me.”
Louis bites back a little smile.
“Have you asked enough people?”
“The old lady walking her dog, just now.” Harry confirms. “She said no.”
Written for the BLFF 2024
Based on prompt 205: A Larry fic that includes the “I love you,” “no, you don’t” convo.
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stat time!!
948,562 words read (2% less than last month)
25 fics read (4% less than last month)
25 authors (0% more than last month)
🍫 for you for making it this far
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melikedraw · 3 days ago
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stumbled across ur blog n omg im in love literally went thru all ur stuff today n last night u r feeding the people
would love to hear ur thoughts on christmas with gaolang and ohma and any of ur faves!!! feeling very christmasy rn
Christmas with the kengan boys🎄🎄
Various kengan men x gn! Reader
(gaolang, ohma, Jose, himuro, saw paing)
~~~~~
Gaolang:
- he doesn't typically celebrate Christmas, I'm also pretty sure 25 dec is still a working day in Thailand (don't @ me I got this from Google)
- HowEVER he will take the day off to celebrate it with you because you always come first
- if you celebrate with your family, he would take that chance to make a good impression on your parents (they will love him, he's just perfect like that)
- he would even make a dish to bring to your parents house
- if you celebrate alone, he'll cook up a feast for you
- may not have much of the typical Christmas meals but there will be many homely, warm, comforting traditional Thai dishes
- he'll even practice making dishes from your home country
- would appreciate it if you join him in the kitchen, even if you can't cook
- he just loves your presence
Ohma:
- what's Christmas? (KIDDING) (or am I)
- has never celebrated Christmas before meeting you, probably thought it was a myth at some point
- but once he heard about the Christmas turkey or whatever y'all eat for Christmas, he was READY
- literally just comes to your house and goes "food where?"
- he also expects you to have a present for him
- he'll get one for you too, of course. Probably something he found on the ground that reminded him of you
- that said, he doesn't really get the big whoop around Christmas
- all he wants is to be wrapped up in your blanket with you in his arms as he sleeps through the cold day
- tries to fight mall Santa
Jose:
- the Boyfriend Ever™
- wants to make everything as perfect a Christmas as possible
- wakes up early to make you a nice breakfast and brings you out the whole day
- he'll get you whatever you want too, gifts and all
- probably wants it to be a day of just the two of you though if you usually celebrate with your family, he expects you to bring him along (he wants to make a good impression on your parents)
- candle lit dinner is a MUST. His own home cooked dinner of course. He'll turn off all the lights in your shared house, light a few candles he found laying around in the store room, set a plate heaped with his meals made with love and pour you a glass of wine (or whatever drink you like. It'll still be in a wine glass though, for the vibe)
- wants to end the day early so that you two have time to cuddle, maybe watch a few cringey Christmas movies
- he loves it if you fall asleep in his arms, trust me, he told me himself
Himuro:
- yikes, with all the girlfriends he has, you might not even have the day with him
- okay, let's assume he stops playing around after meeting you
- he'll bring you out shopping, spoiling you with whatever you want to get
- then, he'll take you to a fancy restaurant, typical date style since he's not the type to make home cooked meals imo
- will be extra sweet to you (he is always a dear, but he's seriously EXTRA charming today)
- probably takes you to places with a bunch of Christmas decorations set up or a big Christmas tree so that y'all can take photos together for him to flex on the three other idiots (lihito, okubo, kaneda)
- he hopes to end the day with you in his bed/ him in yours
Saw paing:
- he is SO excited
- weeks before Christmas itself he'll be talking about how much he wishes to spend it with you
- he is a yappatron 3000 so be ready to have your ears talked off about what he plans to do for you
- unlike all the others who would celebrate Christmas with your family, Saw paing will fly you (and your family if you request it be done) to his home village and celebrate there
- you're saws s/o, which means you're now family to the entire village. The kids will call you big sis, the adults will treat you as if you and saw were already married
- you'll probably have a lot of "when will we have our grandkids/nephews/whatever" questions asked, but other than that, it's a really chill, homely experience
- however, a downside to this is that you and saw never get time alone
- if you're in saw's rooms, don't be surprised if someone just barges in, because that's how siblings be
- even giving him a kiss will get you stares from the grandma across the room or something and a giggle from a gossipy aunty (good luck, you'll need it)
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elviehun · 8 hours ago
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Okay so. I'll probably lose some followers now and I'm sorry but I couldn't care less about that shit (tumblr is my emotional/thirst support corkboard and a place to interact with a few cherished friends and nothing abt being any kind of cool or popular or anything and I never was either of that thankfully). I am not gonna sugarcoat this.
SERIOUSLY. GUYS.
ANYONE. MAKING. FUN. OF. BOB'S. DEATH. IS. A. SHITTY. IMMATURE. TROUBLED. PERSON.
I'm not going to defend ANY of his 100% wrong views and some truly fucked up actions in the past but he was A PERSON. Not to mention a person with very, very unstable mental health who tragically just went further and further down after being smashed into superstardom - which trajectory ended on a really traumatic note for everyone involved. He was a mentally ill person whose actions in the past months/years might have been lashing out in frustration or cries for help or possible red flags for s*icidal thoughts. Yet he is reported (fuck TMZ btw for immediately capitalizing on sg like this) to have been found alone weeks after his death. Adding that nobody seems to have missed him for weeks? and the hate replies and kys 'jokes?' from literal KIDS on twitter to the mix just makes the whole issue all the more messy and sad.
If you claim yourself an mcr fan and sent hate msgs to anyone!!! struggling with mental health EVER, let alone a former member of a band you claim to love, and especially a band so outspoken about mental health awareness and s*icide prevention, I have no excuses for you. Go fuck yourself. Life is no fucking game or a meme pool, people are no darts boards of your own frustrations, grow the fuck up or SHUT the fuck up. I'm sick to my stomach learning about those actions.
Anybody 'celebrating' his death should just consider for a fucking SECOND (even if you don't have the emotional intelligence to consider that he probably has a family mourning and in deep regret right now) what the guys must be going through these moments. Right after letting the whole world know they are about to tour on and celebrate the legacy of the album that he played an essential part in. Regardless of what might have gone down among them back in the day, it must be very uncomfortable and frankly, devastating, for the boys to hear about the way his life ended. I hope the family and the guys are taking care of themselves.
Honestly I was always neutral about Bob while he was a member, and again, no excuses for some shitty things he said and believed in, but he WAS a great musician and the best album of the century would NOT be the same without his contribution. At least respect that, if nothing else.
I'm just sad that he doesn't have the chance to turn his life and wrongdoings around now. 44 is way too young to go.
May his spirit find peace. Rest easy, Bob.
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begrudging-fudanshi · 10 hours ago
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So i stared reading windbreaker after i saw your post about it , it's wholesome manga with amazing fights
in your opinion Why didn't nii satoru reveal Sakura's past until now ? Why was Sakura alone ?
Hell yeah. Welcome to the fandom. I'm glad my propaganda has been working.
To be honest, I've been thinking about this series way too much over the last couple weeks, so this is probably going to be A Lot. I am dumping a lot of accumulated thoughts in here and simultaneously trying to keep a bunch of other thoughts from cluttering it up. If any of this feels disjointed, it's because I've been trying (I swear) to not make this like 10,000 words long lmao.
(CW: Wind Breaker manga spoilers + discussion of child neglect, trauma, feelings of worthlessness, parental loss, grief, and a suicide attempt in the context of the series. Hope you're ready for some pain.)
I'm going to answer your questions in reverse order, because I think they're actually very closely connected.
Sadly, my read on Sakura's past is really dark. Based on what we know so far, there's a lot to suggest that Sakura has been badly neglected for a long time, both physically and emotionally. Based on his lifestyle and the way he talks about himself, I really struggle to believe that he's received any genuine affection or care in many years, if ever. (I'm so glad he was able to go to Furin.)
The flashbacks at the start of episode 1 of the anime suggest he was taken in by relatives who didn't want him, and I think they basically set him up for failure in every way. They seem to have done the bare minimum required of them by the law, like sending him to school, but I can see no evidence that they did much of anything else. Like, what kind of asshole sends a 15-year-old kid to live alone in a barren apartment with literally nothing to wear except his school uniform? Caring people wouldn't let a kid live like that. (That said, I have a bad feeling that his lifestyle seen in chapter 56 is an upgrade compared to what he had before.)
Given this, it's clear Sakura really means it when he says he's always done things by himself. I think this is why he looks so torn up when his friends show him real kindness and why he's so sensitive to anyone showing affection. I also think this means that he really wants to forget his past. This is a big part of why we haven't seen it revealed yet: Sakura isn't ready to revisit it, himself.
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Something interesting about Wind Breaker's backstories is that they all (as far as I and my notes can remember) follow a consistent pattern. They're not just lore dumps that tell us about the character's past. They actually follow each character through a process of changing their beliefs about themselves, often based on their view of the past. This is why they're all in the first person. Some of these changes happen in the present while others are part of flashbacks, but either way the process is basically the same.
In each backstory, the character starts out believing something about themselves that gives rise to a contradiction that keeps them trapped. This belief somehow keeps them from living their best life and, often, stops them from changing their ways to make their best life possible. However, someone else helps them challenge that belief, giving rise to a revelation that lets them change how they see themselves. This change enables them to see new possibilities and lets them move forward towards the life they want.
For example:
Umemiya believed his parents would blame him for their deaths, so he couldn't let himself grieve them nor believe that he deserved to live. His guilt blocked out his memory of the event, keeping him from remembering what really happened. However, a nameless(?) Furin student and Shitara helped him realize that his parents saved him and were happy to see him survive. Thus, he was able to grieve and imagine a future for himself other than his self-destruction.
Kaji believed that his rage was uncontrollable and couldn't even see himself as human. Hiragi helped him realize that he could manage his triggers and change his behavior to be able to find acceptance and live his life.
Tsubaki believed that she couldn't like pretty things or express herself how she wanted. Ito and Yui helped her learn to dress up and present herself the way she liked, allowing her to accept herself and transition. (I know she's not canonically transgender but that's still the best way I can see to describe it.)
After Yui's death, Ito believed that she might never have truly loved him. Tsubaki, Sakura, Suo, and Nirei help him realize the secret meaning of the tree that she planted in his garden, letting him live his life without worrying if she was truly happy.
What's important here is that the character must be ready to have their beliefs about themselves challenged so they can understand their full truth. Otherwise, their story of their past would be incomplete. (Consider what Umemiya's backstory would have sounded like if he still believed he was a murderer.) In fact, we already have an example of this that I'll get to, next.
Because Sakura isn't yet in a position to challenge the beliefs holding him back, he can't reveal his past, either. He has friends helping him, but it's going to be a while before they've truly shaken his most unhelpful beliefs.
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That said, this process has actually played out with Sakura once before and I think it tells us a lot. It shows us exactly why he's not ready to reveal his past.
In chapter 1, Sakura starts out believing that he's meant to always be alone, leading him to initially reject the people of Makochi. Then, Kotoha helps him acknowledge that he does want to be accepted and convinces him to give it a shot. However, while this is great progress and very necessary for Sakura's growth, this isn't a complete resolution. He still has an even more deep-seated belief that has to be addressed.
In addition to asserting that he's meant to be alone, Sakura also lays out another belief in chapter 1 that I argue really gets to the root of his deepest trauma. He doesn't quite say it explicitly, but it underpins both his belief that he's meant to be alone and that he's worth nothing but his fists.
The closest he comes to naming it is when he describes Furin. He says it's "The lowest of the low, hated by all others, worth nothing but their fists … It's a battle to determine the trashiest of the trash. That suits me perfectly."
I have to admit, the first few times I heard and read this, I completely missed how fucked up it is for a 15-year-old kid to say this about himself. I think I've gotten so used to taking shonen protagonists' confident declarations at face value that I just didn't question it, in the same way I've learned not to question, say, 12-year-old Gon deciding to become a pro hunter and travel the world fighting adults. The way it's presented very deliberately (and, I think, cleverly) blunts the impact as well, making use of shonen stylistic conventions to disguise it as stereotypical shonen protagonist bluster. This mirrors how Sakura masks his real feelings about himself.
However, as I read through the rest of the manga, it became clear that this is what Sakura actually, deeply believes. He's 15 years old and he truly sees himself as trash—in other words, worthless. The only way he can imagine finding worth in himself is through his strength. Even then, this is only for Sakura himself. He can't let himself imagine anyone else ever valuing him for any reason, so he must find self-worth all on his own. To put it more sharply, he can't imagine deserving unconditional love. Based on what little we do know about his past, this belief stems from a lifetime of emotional neglect.
The thing is, Sakura's belief that he's worthless is actually, paradoxically, a coping mechanism. As horrible as it is, it helps him rationalize his life in a way that lets him keep living despite his neglect and isolation. If he's truly worthless, then he's never had a reason to expect being loved or accepted by anyone—he's always been meant to be alone. This is how he can tell himself that he doesn't care and has given up. This lets him bury the pain of his isolation and pretend it doesn't truly hurt. By believing that he has always been worthless and unable to be (to deserve being) loved, he has had no reason to get his hopes up for the future, nor any reason to question why he's been treated so badly in the past. He can accept it (has to accept it), even if he hates it, because it was always inevitable.
Notice how Sakura reminds himself that he's given up right before punching the Spaltips' leader in chapter 1. This is the story he tells himself to contain the hurt. He does something similar in chapter 56, reminding himself that he's supposed to be alone as he grapples with his friends' kindness.
The trouble is, this belief is his only means of holding back an unfathomable amount of pain inside of him. It's the only way he knows how to live with all the myriad ways he's been treated like shit. To doubt his own worthlessness, therefore, is to expose himself to overwhelming grief. Because, if he isn't worthless, he then has to ask himself why he had to suffer for so long. That kind of question is too awful for him—for pretty much anyone—to face on their own. This coping mechanism protects him, but it also traps him and prevents him from finding relief.
This comes to a head in chapter 1, as the townspeople surround him and the old woman tries to tend to his wound. As she reaches towards him, he screams at her to stay away. This act of genuine kindness fills him with terror. It's not just that he fears eventual rejection—Sakura fears the idea he could be accepted at all. Remember, he's just "failed" to win the fight and, worse, ended up having to be protected because he got hurt. Sakura could accept Kotoha's kindness earlier because he "earned" it by stopping her attackers, but now there's someone trying to help him for what feels like no reason. For Sakura, who must believe that he was never meant to be loved or accepted, being shown kindness for no apparent reason feels like an existential threat. It threatens to undermine the walls that he's built inside of him to keep going. This is why he allows Kotoha to help him instead—he can still rationalize her help as transactional.
This rationalization provides his means of escape. To accept his place in Makochi, he only has to accept that he doesn't have to be alone. He doesn't have to believe that he can be valued or loved unconditionally, nor that he deserved anything better. Instead, Sakura finds a way to "earn" his acceptance: The chapter culminates with Sakura accepting Bofurin, which he shows by leaping over all the others to kick the Spaltips' leader in the face.
By showing his strength, by upstaging the heroes and claiming his place among them, Sakura proves (to himself) that he is strong enough to be accepted. Rather than accept that he could always have been valued and accepted unconditionally—that he always could have been loved—Sakura would rather believe he's earned his acceptance based on his strength.
In this way, Sakura can continue to believe in his own worthlessness, saving himself from having to face his past. Because of this, even as he's learned that he can be accepted, he still maintained his belief that he was meant to be alone from the start (again, see chapter 56). This lets him continue to justify his past suffering and minimize his own pain.
This comes back around in chapter 162, when Sakura's classmates talk about his low self-esteem. Despite their efforts to show him that he's loved and valued, Sakura ultimately still believes he's only worth his strength. We see how he rejects Umemiya's praise, unable to understand how he could be praised when he "failed". Sakura can't believe he could be valued when he couldn't even single-handedly save the town.
But, as long as he believes this, his past will remain a mystery, not just to his friends and to us as readers, but even to Sakura himself. Just as Umemiya's repression kept him from realizing that his parents loved him, Sakura's repression keeps him from realizing that he has always deserved to be loved. He cannot acknowledge, can't even recognize, the pain he's endured in his life, because he still has to believe it didn't matter. Because of this, he can't let himself grieve or admit that he has always deserved better. He's still trapped believing he must always prove his worth through his strength alone.
Of course, changing this isn't going to be easy. He will get there. His friends will help him through it. Still, it's going to be rough. I think it'll be a while yet before he's ready to tell us about his past.
---
Addendum
All of that being said, something I really love about Wind Breaker is how hopeful it is and the way it shows Sakura living despite his past. To that end, I want to note one last thing: Sakura can still smile, despite everything else. No matter what he tells himself, he still feels hope.
I mentioned above that I didn't recognize Sakura's low self-esteem at first because it's masked with stereotypical shonen protagonist confidence. I think this is very deliberate by the author. We're supposed to see Sakura as cool, confident, and badass in the beginning, only to realize that he's also hurting inside. (Emphasis: that's also, not instead. These aren't mutually exclusive.) Sakura's cocky grin is part of a mask he wears, but it's not a lie.
While I believe Sakura has suffered a lot, it's important to emphasize that he's not broken or doomed to drown in grief. What I've laid out here is what I believe is going on beneath the surface, and I do believe he's going to have to face his trauma eventually, but let's not forget that our boy can still smile after all of that. The fact that he can smile doesn't mean that he's not hurting, but the fact that he's hurting doesn't mean he only feels pain. Let's not do him dirty by miring our view of him in grief. Instead, as we acknowledge how much he's suffered, let's also be happy at just how far he's come and hopeful for how far he'll go in the future.
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littlemelaninfics · 18 hours ago
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Courtesy Call ☎️
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warnings: language, semi-smut (is that a thing? It is now 😬)
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“God…fucking dammit!” He growled out in the shell of your ear. You could barely make a sound as Harry’s body weight was repeatedly slamming your frontside through the mattress. His thrusts were sharp and deep as he kept your throat encased nicely in his palm. This session was animalistic, but you were warned going in.
27 minutes ago at promptly 2:14 am, you were alone and cozy in your bed. That night you’d made yourself some calming tea as you prepped for the busy work week ahead, so you were out like a light. That was until your phone was vibrating for so long before you picked it up that it thudded onto the wooden floor. It wasn’t until you finally answered that it stopped ringing,
“Hello?”
“Hello?” The voice replied.
“Hello?” You asked for a second time.
“Hello? Hey. Y/n. Can you hear me?”
“Yes. Hello, Harry. What’s up?” You asked, getting slightly annoyed,
“Courtesy call.”
“What? Harry, no. It’s too late and I have a long week ahead.”
“That’s why it’s called a courtesy call. I’m already pulling in and just thought you should know.” You could hear him smirking though the phone as headlights lit up your bedroom wall.
“I don’t feel like getting out of bed to open the door,” you said staring to whine a little.
“S’fine.” You start to ponder why when you hear Harry’s spare key jamming in the key hole and unlocking your front door. You quickly jump up and as soon as you swung open your bedroom door Harry was stalking down your hallway, covering the distance in roughly 4 1/2 long strides. His stature and demeanor alone were enough to make you take a step back. Even when he met you toe to toe, Harry did not cease his advances towards you. He instead collided with you, making you stumble back as his hands roamed freely over your body.
The make out was intense, giving you a feeling of where your night was headed. People see Harry as being baby and trust me, he is, but it’s nights like these where he is a complete savage,
“Ow! You bit me!” You exclaimed as you pulled away from him. In 0.3 seconds, Harry observes the wound as you’re still talking. He yanks you back into his chest before leaning in and running his slick tongue over the tiny bead of blood coming from your lip. Your knees physically go weak as he takes this as a cue to spin you around and push you face first into your comforter.
“Safe word.”
“Orange.”
“Use it if you need to,” he commands as he’s pulling your cotton panties down and off past your ankles. Harry couldn’t help but stare in awe as he saw the contrast of his ivory skin against your radiant melanin in the moonlight shining through your blinds. You gently nod your head to his statement and he lands a nice, loud smack to your ass gripping the voluminous meat in his palm. He’s on you in a second and you know there’s no way he removed all his clothes that fast.
He’s desperate.
Harry leaned his toned body over yours, adjusting for easy access. Even feeling the weight of his body and his scent so close to your nose sent you into overdrive. You reached your hand back to feel literally anything, when he encased your wrists in his hand and held them in place,
“You’re the only one I know can take it. Let me take it, baby.”
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vyinter · 2 years ago
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oh my god so someone rb my post about the kerala story like finally a normal post about this so i decided to look in the tag cuz i didnt think anyone would be talking about it on tumblr but theres soo many hindutva blogs writing paragraphs upon paragraphs tagging desiblr and hindublr legit what the fuckkkkk im genuinely so horrified
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bisclavret · 2 months ago
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like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨
i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.
my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.
furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?
following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!
then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.
but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.
even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.
you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.
arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.
and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?
lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.
morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!
with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).
and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.
then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.
imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen — now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.
all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)
in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.
and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.
merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!
#[johnny the dragon voice] ✨ MORGANA ✨#tldr: if you treat your villain with nuance then more nuance will follow and your story will be better for it! groundbreaking i know!!!#what im also getting at is that morgana broke free FIRST so she DESERVED to become the morgan le fay of legend#way before any of the others grew into their own roles.#morgana#bbcm#bbc merlin#analysis#merlin meta#morgana pendragon#theres no focus on the knights here but if you know me you know how angry i am about s4 and s5 gwaine at all times#so in a story with a more nuanced portrayal of villainy and knighthood i think he would openly question his choice to become one#and maybe he'd leave for a while#go home and sort out his daddy issues. have some fruity subplots along the way. visit merlin during his dragonlord era. that sort of thing#and interact with lancelot at least once!!! for gods sake#but i dont see lancelot surviving sorry. that dude will literally die for anything#also scientists and tv execs had not yet discovered bisexuality in 2011 and he already had everyone acting unwise#in ways that barely got past the censors :/ unsustainable#elyan however shouldnt have died. i know gwen ruling alone with only the lamest knights in her service is “the point”#but its a stupid point. elyan is her best knight and they rule camelot together. working class heroes etc.#poetic justice for their father who was murdered by uther + a fun narrative contrast to morgana and arthur#nightmare siblings of all time. banished from the mortal realm for their crimes. could never rule together. stinky#ANYWAY. I HAVE THREE (3) EXAMS DUE THIS WEEK. HERE'S TWO THOUSAND (2000) WORDS OF BBC MERLIN ANALYSIS.
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hethinkslikeaking · 1 month ago
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"omg homophobia :( the lesbian ship i want to kiss didn't kiss in an episode that was obviously going to be the backstory of another main character :( hes EXPLICITLY gay in a MARVEL DISNEY+ show and kisses his boyfriend but its still so homophobic :( the episode wasn't straight out of my headcannon so i hate it :("
do you know how dumb u sound rn
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cryptiduni · 1 year ago
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“white mourning.”
#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice#judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry#he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as#he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco#you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen#his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but#jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control#i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to ​jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late#my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon#disco elysium#de fanart#jean vicquemare#disco elysium fanart#jean heron vicquemare#jean posting#illustration#de#artists on tumblr#I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings#my little maiu maiu#cryptiduni#my art
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johnslittlespoon · 5 months ago
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ch1 of the leaving!bikeriders au done. fuck
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goginaporter · 1 year ago
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rina + iconic couples in media
this is my fun way of responding to the alternate universe prompt for @rinaweek <3. rina and their parents in every universe, finding each other and falling in love. alsooo this post was slightly inspired by this absolutely brilliant edit linked here (x) and if you want rinatroyella or rinajacey edits, please lmk and I'll send my favorite ones <3333
troyella
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the essays that can and have been written about troyella and rina are extensive (and I'm happy to do a longer form one in a separate post). but from being the new girl x boy who's never moved, girl encouraging boy to audition for the musical and actually commit, kissing in the rain, starring in the school musical together, to making a huge commitment to the other person on a stage in front of a bunch of people, rina is quite literally troyella reincarnated. and yeah, lots of people can argue that troyella is perfect as is, that they didn't need another version. and on one hand, i agree. but the way in which rina takes core parts of troyella's story while standing on their own as a ship is beautiful and truly does justice to the original franchise by anchoring the story around these two, both individually and as a couple, just as was done with troyella in the original trilogy. my favorite troyella parallel moment from s4!
4x01 - ricky sneaking into gina's room just like troy would come into gabriella's room through her balcony
4x02 - the note ricky gives gina in the hallway to meet in their secret staircase is just like the note troy slips in gabriella's locker in hsm to meet on the rooftop. (honorable mention to them auditioning for and getting the roles of troy and gabriella in this ep as well <33)
4x03 - of course, it has to go to their rendition of can i have this dance. their voices sound gorgeous and though the choreo they do has similarities to the original, they've made it their own.
4x04 - this one is kinda reaching but I wanted something for each ep! in hsm2, sharpay forces troy to sing a song with her, one she prepared for the talent show, instead of allowing him to go on a date with gabriella. in a similar vein, though with considerably less scheming from dani's side, dani is selected to replace gina as gabriella because she is so busy with the movie, though this is done behind her back.
4x05 - has to go to the rain kiss obviously. although troy and gabriella only ever kiss under sprinklers, it's the same vibes. there's also a still (not included in the scene) of the rain kiss of ricky holding gina's waist as she throws her arms up that's so reminiscent of troyella in the rain during cihtd.
4x06 - ricky and gina running down the hallway at the beginning of the episode feels like a direct parallel to troy and gabriella running to auditions in hsm. also rina fighting to save the show is super similar to gabriella (and troy once gabriella convinces him) pushing for the theater department to put on a show about them for their spring musical.
4x07 - they're literally playing troyella in this ep so I could say so much. i'll just use this space to talk about how much I love them in a night to remember and how much it looked like they were dancing at their wedding. I will say that terri, gina's mom, telling ricky about gina's movie with a smile on her face, reminds me a lot of gabriella's fans setting troy up to talk shit about her on camera to convince her to focus on the decatholon. also reflects sharpay telling troy about stanford, again with a smile on her face.
4x08 - again, this ep is rife with toryella coding because they're literally playing troyella, but the show goes super meta in having them sing the right here, right now reprise as ricky has just found out that gina is potentially moving across the world to film her movie, just as troy finds out about stanford and struggles with gabriella not being there for the rest of their senior year. on a much less angsty note, ricky singing love you forever to gina has the same vibes as troy choosing gabriella and going to school close to her, not to mention that lines in the song directly reference the song "high school musical" (which you can read more about here <3). gina also deciding to move the movie to salt lake is very much her "I choose basketball but I also choose theater but more than all of that, I choose gabriella" her version is "I choose filming this movie but I also choose theater but more than all of that, I choose ricky" just a beautiful perfect scene all around.
these s4 moments only scratch the surface of the troyellarina tether but i'll stop ranting for now and move on to rina's teen drama parent sets.
jacey
after s1, tim federle did an interview where they asked him about him about the ricky / nini / gina triangle, he directly mentioned dawson's creek in guiding his writing process, stating that at the center of his thought process was "how do I surprise audience members with who they're going to ship?" (x). for those who don't know the jacey lore, to make a long story short, their love triangle centered around joey, pacey, and dawson. joey and dawson were childhood best friends and joey has a crush on dawson. pacey and dawson are best friends and joey and pacey do not get along initially. after events of life, dawson asks pacey to "look after joey" at the beginning of s3, the two get super close and eventually catch feelings for each other and they secretly date as they figure out a way to break it to dawson (sound familiar?). they do break up but come back together at the end of the show and are endgame. the parallels between jacey and rina exist both on and off screen. dawson and joey were the initial endgame for the show, just like rini was the show's s1 endgame. however, electrifying chemistry between katie and joshua (jackson) & sofia & joshua (bassett) in their respective shows changed everything. rina is one of the strongest examples of continuing this legacy of disrupting the initial plans concocted in the writer's room to make way for insane chemistry. some of my fave jaceyrina parallels
rina and jacey having a formative, chemistry presenting moment in a car (rina in 1x05 during homecoming, joey and pacey in 1x during their science project)
the sheer parallels between them in 3x19 of dawson's creek and 3x08 of hsmtmts with their kiss scenes. just watch here (x) and here (x) to see. the "stop me" "wait" parallels actually make me go crazy
joey tutoring pacey in 3x09 and gina (presumably) becoming ricky's tutor after 4x06
i'm rewatching 3x09 in preparation for this and jacey has a scene where dawson catches them talking about pacey helping joey with a ballroom dance scholarship thing in exchange for tutoring and he asks them what no one can find out about and a) pacey sucksssss at improv just like gina it's like that 4x02 scene with rina and ashlyn and b) it also feels like rina with the chocolates, again with ashlyn LMAOOO in 2x04
ALSO in this ep (wow it's a goldmine), when dawson and jen catch joey and pacey ballroom dancing, they're forced to join the class and the instructor psychoanalyzes both couples. for jacey, she mentions that the tension and bickering between them suggests their underlying attraction for one another. this is literally what val (their choreographer!!) does after watching rina perform wdykal in 3x05
too much to explain for the final scene of this episode but i just encourage everyone to watch 3x09 to get the same sense of a major scene in a coat check and an ensuing apology
pacey telling joey he remembers everything in 3x22 and ricky telling gina he's never forgotten a thing she's said in 4x03
pacey telling joey that the simple act of loving her is enough for him and that she's "off the hook" and ricky telling gina that of course she has to go and be a star, as well as singing lyf not knowing that she was staying in slc, so he just wanted to let her know that he loved her for the sake of it, not to convince her of anything
pacey having to tell joey something but lying to protect her (and ricky having something to tell gina but lying to protect her (3x07)
naley
another paragon of teen drama royalty is naley. literally the best people ever and it makes sooo much sense that rina is similar to them because they're actually rina's grandparents. naley birthed troyella, who birthed rina. a beautiful family tree. anyways, naley doesn't seem to, on the surface at least, seem to have a lot of parallels to rina. a shy tutor girl and a cocky basketball player who get married after knowing each other for less than a year? (though I will go down with my headcanon that rina gets married super duper young, will not be taking any arguments). despite this, at their core, naley's love for each other is so reminiscent of rina's love for each other, not to mention some incredibly direct parallels that the two have, listed below:
nathan dropping haley home after a party & ricky dropping gina home after homecoming ("yeah, this is my house" & "so, this is where I live")
connecting over dubious circumstances (nathan requesting haley as a tutor/getting close to her to get back at lucas & gina convincing ricky to stay in the show so she could get gabriella, attending hoco with ej to psych nini out but instead connecting with ricky)
nathan putting haley's hand to his heart after telling her it's racing (it was because of drugs but still, it beats for haley) and ricky putting gina's hand on his heart after telling her that his heart's racing (i'm telling y'all this scene is the same, just with the characters and setting swapped)
alllllll of naley's s2 angst is like the intense and more painful version of rina's angst in s4
naley invented rain kisses (even if they existed before them, no they didn't) and rina obviously does justice with their own rain kiss in 4x05
when nathan proposes to haley (their first proposal), he tells her that "I could love you forever." audience, what's the title of ricky's love song for gina? i rest my case
haley being nathan's tutor and gina being ricky's tutor <3333
nathan sneaking into haley's bedroom to study and makeout and ricky sneaking into gina's bedroom to sing and makeout
nathan and ricky being haley and gina's biggest fans when it comes to their careers, putting their success over their personal feelings (nathan collecting clippings of haley's tour, paying chris to let her record music & ricky decorating gina'ss trailer, encouraging her to go to nz to be a star)
rina served cheerleader x basketball player (though at different times and both were fictional but wtv) just like naley
this was super nonexhaustive as rina also has parallels to jam, mondler, sethmer, romeo & juliet, and so many other ships. however, I'm lazy and didn't want to write all of those out. maybe I'll return to them another time, but for now, pls enjoy this <3333
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