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angelguk · 4 years

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→ trial and error — a jeongguk scenario

member: jeon jeongguk

word count: 2.1k

genre: college!au + angst + best friends!au

warnings: nothing extreme folks just jk being kinda sad / vague mentions of past mental health issues / oc is an aries / love confessions / unrequited love

soundtracks: hand over hand, roland faunte + lvr boy, awfultune

The first time he felt it he was seventeen. It didn’t hit him quick or hard. Instead, it was slow, a gradual drifting of his heart closer and closer to you until he felt it fall right out of his chest and into your hands. He didn’t mind it, the fall. What hurt was that you didn’t know you held his heart. And within it the undying adoration he had for you, thumping painfully against his rib cage as if it was begging to be released. He knew it was love. There was no other word for it. It was there in the way his cheeks would burn whenever you smiled at him, there when you’d tackle him in the hallway with a hug and Jeongguk would feel his insides melt with giddiness, and there when you managed to coax a laugh out of him even on his bad days. There was no other word to describe the security he felt within your presence. Seen and loved and acknowledged. You listened when no else would, held him together when he felt like he was crumbling apart, tended at the bruises marring his heart. Jeongguk needed you like he needed oxygen. Even when you’d argue (usually over something trivial) he found himself crawling back to you. Ribbons intertwine your souls together, and Jeongguk has happily lost himself in the mess of them.

He thought you’d see it too one day. Thought you’d feel it in the way he held you, the way his gaze lingered on you. Instead, he watched you fall in love with everyone but him.

It was easy to subdue it in high school, observe the flowers you received from admirers on Valentine’s day with a bitter smile. He’d never had the courage to slip a note in your locker or hand you a bouquet of roses, too terrified he’d destroy the most important relationship in his life with the greed of his heart. So he swallowed the confessions on his tongue and trudged through life pretending the only person who he wanted to be with wasn’t you. Yet, somehow, it got a million times worse in university. There had barely been any barriers in your relationship but suddenly Jeongguk felt his walls appear. It’s kind of hard to act like everything is normal after walking in on your best friend (and the love of your life) getting rawed in the bathroom of a frat party. Jeongguk had laughed it off, of course. What else was he supposed to do? But did he seek out the prettiest girl in the party and fuck her just to get back at you mentally? Maybe. That’s his secret to tell.

And from there it had descended into a spiral of boy after boy climbing into your sheets, touching you in ways that Jeongguk can only dream of. It infuriates him, spiking a pit of jealousy in his soul that he didn’t know existed. Because what did you see in them that you didn’t see in Jeongguk? He knew you better than any of those brief flings. You’d been friends since that day on the playground when Jeongguk hadn’t been able to push himself on the swing so you’d volunteered to help him. Back then, you towered over Jeongguk, big enough to control the playground during recess with your domineering and direct mannerisms. He liked that you controlled the world around you, fearless with every sure step forward. Jeongguk had looked up to you then - both literally and in admiration. Then his growth sprout hit him and you had stayed under his chin despite the bizarre stretches you did every morning religiously. Yet, even as you aged together, the spark in you never went out. In fact, it shone brighter. So bright that sometimes you blinded Jeongguk with your fervour. But he liked it too much to ever flee from the glow of your orbit. You held him in place with the secret glances you share, the soft smiles you gave him after hours of being cooped up in his room, studying together for your respective majors. It’s the history that gives him hope; even though you still fall into bed with men Jeongguk thinks are beneath you and he still distracts himself with faceless girls who don’t hold a candle to your light.

But lately, he’s been seeing that light waver, flickering into a darkness he recognises. Even now, in the midst of your joint study session, Jeongguk has been silently observing you. He’s known you long enough to note that you’re frustrated. It’s evident in the subtle way your bottom lip stays caught between your teeth, gradually shifting rouge from the pressure you’re applying on it. Despite the concentration painted across your face, you stare at the journal article on your screen blankly. There’s a void in your gaze. And it provokes Jeongguk forward, stumbling off of his seat as his desk.

The mattress dips underneath the weight of his knees, but you don’t look up, hands automatically reaching for Jeongguk as he crawls into your lap. Your assignments get pushed to the side and you allow it because you’re both due for a break anyway. His curls feel soft underneath your fingertips, a result of the numerous times Jeongguk had persuaded you into rubbing jojoba oil onto his scalp. He smells good too – a scent you can’t put into any other word than comforting floating around you. For a moment, it abates the despondency that’s been slowly creeping up on you.

“You’re thinking,” Jeongguk says it firmly but tenderly like he’s wading through deep waters.

You make a noise of acknowledgement. “I am.”

“Care to share your thoughts?” He’s looking up at you imploringly, doe eyes wide enough to make you kneel over and comply with his request.

“I’m thinking about Minjae.” You feel him stiffen underneath you, but it’s a minute movement, one that passes swiftly. You can’t even pause to question Jeongguk’s reaction.

“Why?” But the question is spat out, oddly venomous. It ignites something in your blood. You’re already on the verge of tipping over the edge – frustrated from the lack of satisfaction in your relationships. Minjae was a cause of several headaches but lately, Jeongguk had been lingering at the back of your head, a fluttering thought that kept resurfacing despite your best efforts to keep it locked in its cage. But you’ll deal with that later, the heat in your tummy as Jeongguk shifts deeper into your hold a threat.

“He’s just…” You pause because it’s difficult to put into words. How do explain that you think your boyfriend was falling out of love with you. If you can even call him that. Minjae was someone who you carried about but your feelings never ran that deep. Not that you didn’t try and push them there. It felt like he was a placeholder most times. Or a bookmark until you finally got the courage to flick open to the page in life where you’re truly meant to be.

You dig your hands deeper into Jeongguk’s hair. You hate how he sighs into you, falling lax in your arms.

“He’s just what?” Jeongguk mumbles. There’s a hand stealing underneath the sheets you’d wrapped around your waist. His fingertips skip over skin, drawing swirls along your bare thigh. You hate the tingle that slips down your spine at the feeling of his warm hands on you.

“Not satisfying me,” You grumble, the scowl on your lips a consequence of the warmth the ebbs from your chest every time Jeongguk pushes himself into your space.

There’s a sigh escaping his lips, one that sounds oddly like relief.

“In what way?” He covers the sigh up with a false laugh. “Aren’t you guys, like, dating? Shouldn’t you tell your boyfriend that?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” You retort. “And in every way. He doesn’t love me. I know that. He barely listens to me when we talk and he only calls me over when he wants to sleep with him. Last time we fucked he just focused on getting himself off and he rolled right off me and got on his phone.”

The intake of breath the slips through his teeth is sharp. “Fuck, really? I told you he wasn’t worth your time.”

“You say that about every guy I start seeing.” You glance down, surprised to find the gaze on Jeongguk’s face rather serious.

“That’s because none of them are worth your time. They don’t deserve you.” It’s said so resolutely that your heart flips in your chest. And just like that, the air around you feels different. It’s charged with the promise of a thousand whispered words. You hold his unwavering gaze, feel the stillness of the hand on your thigh with caution.

“Well, who deserves me then?”

Me, Jeongguk thinks. I know you better than any of them will. I’ve loved you more than any of them have.

He opens his mouth. Closes it. Stares at the ceiling. Hates the silence in the room. Abhors the hesitation in his heart. And then his gaze falters back to you.

You’re waiting, the patience in your eyes making his heart thump fast. He wonders if you can hear it, in the quiet that lingers between you. Because he can hear it. Can hear the words he wants to say so clearly in his mind. If only he had the balls to say them. To ask for more with you. That’s all he’s ever wanted. More. It’s just a flash, the image of you in his arms, your mouth on his. The idea of calling you his makes his head swim. It’s why he does it. It’s not a thought through action. Jeongguk always assumed his confession would be more than this – but it felt perfect at that moment, a clarity in his brain that drives him to shift upright, push right into your space.

It’s barely a kiss, just a graze of your mouth on his, but it zips through him. His lips burn with the print of your mouth, engraved in his memory for eternity now. But then he feels you gasp, draw anyway, the shock in your eyes plummeting his heart right into his gut.

“Jeongguk?” The rapid flicker in your eyes coupled with the heated gaze you’re giving him makes his stomach roll.

“Shit – sorry. Fuck, I didn’t mean to-”

“Well, why did you?” You bite. “You can’t – you can’t just do that.”

He’s never wanted life to have a rewind button more than now. “I know – I’m sorry I really fucking am. Please, just listen okay – listen to me.”

But you’re not. He’s never seen you move so fast, snatching up your things in one swift motion. Your textbook is tucked underneath your arm and your laptop is thrown right into your bag, the highlighters you’d stolen from Jeongguk’s desk a long time ago going right in after it. He tries to reach out for you, but the slight flinch you give at the touch of his hand on your arm makes him wilt right back into himself.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” But you’re off his bed, searching for your shoes vehemently.

“Don’t, Jeongguk. Don’t. I just – I just don’t know why you would do this?” The strain in your voice is the final nail in his coffin. And when you twirl around, the fierceness in your glare makes him want to crawl into the depths of the Earth. “Why? Why would you do that?”

He knows why he did it. But he holds his tongue, afraid he’ll push you even further away.

His silence prompts a hard sigh from you. And then you turn, walking right out of his room. Jeongguk stares at your retreating back. Feels the slam of his door in his chest. Waits until he hears you bid Yoongi a rushed goodbye. And then he puts his head in his hands, falls back into the bed that’s still warm from the reminiscence of your body. Rakes his fingers through his hair, tugging hard like it could extract the memory of this event from his brain forever. He doesn’t cry though, despite the stinging in his eyes. But he feels it, every crack in his heart. It splits so deep it feels like its’ bleeding to him. Maybe that’s where his tears were; in the spilling of his heart inside his chest.

He says it because in the solace of his room no one is here to hear it. It would be nice, to just say it once. Without fear, he was destroying something he cherished so dearly. Well, he’s already ruined it. There is nothing to lose anymore. Not with the way you looked at him liked he’s betrayed you. And perhaps he had, but he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He couldn’t pretend to feel about you the way he did. Not like a friend. More than a friend.

“I did it because I like you,” Jeongguk says to the air. To the ache in his heart. “Because I love you.”

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #bts x reader #bts angst #jungkook scenario #jungkook fanfic

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tiemeupspidey · 7 years

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Power Couple

Series: Tom Holland Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Warnings: swearing and cuteness

Word Count: 1,200+

Request from @asmolarab :Tom and the Reader are dating. The reader is a famous musician.

Also inspired from the recent drama of his fans saying rude stuff on that models page after he liked her photo… Like c’mon he’s 21 let him live pls.

ALSO…..

THERE I’VE SAID MY PEACE NOW ENJOY THE IMAGINE BABES xx

[Reader’s POV]

Today you were home with Tessa waiting for Tom’s interview to start. Lounging in leggings and one of Tom’s pullovers. Walking over to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. Asking Alexa to turn up the tv so you could hear it from the kitchen.

Tessa following you around whenever Tom wasn’t home. Getting the kettle ready and placing it on the stove. Reaching into the cupboard for a mug then for your organizer full of teas. Picking out which tea you want today ,you pick it from the slot.

Tearing it open you pull the bag out and set it into the mug. Throwing the trash away turning around once you hear the kettle whistle. Reaching over you lift it up and grab your mug. Pouring the hot water into the mug seeing the light steam rising from the mug.

A smile rises to your face as you smell the raspberry scent fill your nose. Grabbing a the sugar spoon and doing one little spoonful. Opening the fridge you grab the almond milk out of the fridge. Pouring a small amount then putting it away. Pulling out the drawer and taking out a spoon to stir everything together.

“Tom Holland will be on next after the break!” The host’s voice fills the air making you look over from hearing your boyfriend’s name. A smile on your face thinking of him. You’re so proud of where he is right now.

“C’mon Tess, let’s go back and wait for daddy to come back on” Leaning down rubbing her head and stroking the side of her face with your thumb. The two of you head back to the living room and sit down on the L shaped couch.

Sipping your tea you open up Instagram on your phone. A spam of comments on your new photo making you roll your eyes. Tom’s fans were giving you shit since the moment he announced the two of you dating. It was worse whenever Tom would like your photos cause you received so much hate for it.

Checking the charts on Itunes you see your album at the top. Pride replaces the annoyance from Tom’s fans. You did this, your album hit number one on the charts. All your hard work was paying off and it was so satisfying. Tessa barks making you look up from your phone. She sat below the tv looking up at the screen. Her tail is wagging as she see’s Tom popping up on the screen.

Setting your phone aside you get comfortable on the couch. He looked so damn handsome in that outfit, how’d you get so lucky for him to fall for you? Watching him sit down on the interviewers couch taking a sip from the cup near him. He was always drinking something during interviews.

“So Tom, congrats on the new movie man you did a brilliant job!” the interviewers thick English accent was easy to understand. Tom’s smile made your heart flutter, he is literal perfection and all yours.

“Thank you so much, It was a blast to film and the cast was amazing and it’s all thanks to Marvel and Sony”

“Also we just got news of your girlfriend’s album she just released” the host points towards the screen. An image popping up of it being number one on the charts. Tom’s face filled with shock, a smile on his face.

“That’s amazing! Angel I’m so proud of you, wow you did it! Can’t wait to give you a massive hug when I get home” Tom’s excitement for you made you tear up. Recognition from him meant the world to you. He stands up dancing in a circle then blowing a kiss to the camera for you.

“Darling, I’m home! Where are my two favorite girls?” Tom’s voice comes from the living room. Getting off the bed you head towards the doorway.

Walking out of the bedroom to see him holding a bottle of champagne and a bouquet of roses. A grin on your face from the sight. Tessa was sitting next to him with her tail wagging. Heading over to Tom giving him a kiss on the lips. You didn’t deserve such a great boyfriend, you’re blessed.

“I love you” you smile wrapping your arms around his waist. The feeling of his arms wrap aroung you made you sigh in content. Smelling the roses that were being held near you.

“I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come darling, I love you more than you can imagine.. I know my fans can get angsty and I apologize for their behavior.. Just know I’m yours and you’re mine” His lips press against your forehead. Your eyes closing absorbing all the love that was radiating off of him.

Moments like these were the best. He always knew how to make you feel better through the stress. The both of you could barely do anything without getting attacked by the fans. Your actions either being bashed or turned into memes. It was hard being famous sometimes, it had it’s perks but it’s mentally exhausting.

“Can we get drunk and order some pizza?” opening your eyes to a grinning Tom, he loved those kind of nights. Drinking with Tom always lead to some interesting nights. Funny and sexual kind of nights with Netflix and major chilling.

“Hell yes we can, it’s a time to celebrate you made it to fucking number one on the charts!” He raises to bottle up in the air sticking his tongue out. His face making you giggle from how much of a goof he really is.

Walking over to the kitchen together he grabs two glasses from the collection he had. Opening the champagne with a pop Tessa barks loudly taking off towards the bedroom. The two of you laugh at how she reacted as he pours the bubbling liquid into the glasses. Handing you a glass he takes the last one. Tapping the side of it acting like he had a knife, a giggle escaped you.

“To many more celebrations and successful moments we get to share together!” Tom smiles clinking his glass with yours. Taking a sip you hum in satisfaction.

“Let me grab the phone to order the pizza” He says setting his glass down reaching for the land line. Taking a few more sips quickly finishing it, you wanted to get drunk. This bottle isn’t going to finish itself.

Setting the glass down you wrap your arms around Tom’s waist. His hand rubbed circles on your back but stopped when you started kissing his neck. Kissing from the base of his neck to right below his ear. You could hear his breathing getting shaky. A grin made its way to your lips from how you could make him feel.

“Fuck the calories out of me Holland” you whisper pressing a kiss to his jawline. Pulling away you see his mouth slightly ajar. Looking at him you see his eyes get a shade darker making you gulp.

“So fuck you now, then after and again and again.. Got it” Tom’s voice husky as his hands slide down to your waist. Before you could say anything Tom lifts you over his shoulder taking off towards the bedroom.

“Ah! Tom put me down you lil shit!” you shout wiggling in his grasp, earning a slap to your ass.

“Looks like I’m going to hit number one on the charts tonight as well” Tom snickers shooing Tessa out of the room and closing the door.

Tom was definitely already at number one on charts for being an amazing boyfriend,best friend and lover.

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