#literally a week into the school year i could feel my mental health drop i h8 that place but i love my friends do you see my problem

[jwanniie]

Hiii again!!

can I make a request about g!p minji x reader fcking in the library?

I got too excited with this idea😁

Secret crush.

You have been struggling in school for the past two months due to some family issues and just life has been exhausting and draining, you weren’t dumb you just needed a little break and someone who takes care of you. From the start of the school year you have been getting decent grades, they were good but if we compare it to the amount you study for you should definitely get better grades, that really did unmotivate you because what do you mean someone who didn’t even touch a book will get a better grade than someone who pulls all nighters, skips meal just to study and never skips a class?You are happy for them but still there is a little unpleasant feeling inside you that you can’t deny ,And on top of that your family starts complaining about you not trying hard and not getting full marks. So you thought about what is the point of trying hard but still not reaching?

The way your grades dropped made your teacher really unhappy because you definitely weren’t dumb in fact you were very intelligent so she decided to talk to you and try to convince you to get a tutor and maybe she can help you choose one.

“___can you stay a little after class, we need to discuss something?”

You were tired and wanted to go home, you wanted to deny but what if she has something important to say?

“Sure” you replied with tired eyes that anyone could literally notice that you hadn’t been getting proper sleep for days, and yeah you don’t even remember when you last had that 10 hour uninterrupted sleep.

Class ended faster than usual, once all of the students went out of the class the teacher sat you down and took a deep breath before starting to talk.

“___ has anything happened home or do you have something going on that is not very pleasant…since your grades been dropping and I’m wondering what’s the reason and if we could try to fix it?” She spat, she really didn’t want to express her thoughts in a hurtful or negative way so she tried to sound as kind as possible.

You took an exhale before speaking “miss everything is going fine at home it’s just that I’m very unmotivated towards school and my mental health overall is not really helping with school” you spoke trying to sound as ok as possible even tho tears are starting to well in your eyes, recalling everything that is happening and all of your family problems.

“I see, do you think if we could ask a student to tutor you so you could perhaps make friends at the same time while studying do you think that would help you a little? And ___ you are nowhere near stupid you just need a little push and that will get you started all over again and I care for you, you are one of my favorite students here, always kind and enthusiastic to learn new things so seeing you like this really does hurt me.” She uttered in the most comforting tone ever, you smiled at her request and nodded because maybe that will make your school life and mental health better “a tutor could work!” Your teacher smiled warmly at your answer “then I will look for a tutor” she said, she lastly bid you goodbye and you went home a little smile on your face knowing that you have a new start and could improve.

The next week the teacher gave you the name of the student who will tutor you and when will you meet, the first lesson would be in the library. Damn, you haven’t been there for a long time you thought to yourself. You checked the paper that the teacher gave you once more and you looked at the name again “Minji”. You have heard the name before but the image of the person didn’t really click. You decide to pick a place near the entrance of the library so as soon as minji steps inside she could see you, you dont think she even recognize you but let’s just hope for the best.

You waited silently for about seven minutes till you saw a girl with a school uniform, your school never restricted what the students wear but that’s what she is comfortable wearing, now the image clicked, She is minji! You have never interacted with her nor your friends did but she was known for having one of the best grades in school if not the best. She was quiet,didn’t really have much friends, a bookworm and kinda cold or perhaps a better word distant? You always saw her with a book in hand or had her head deep down writing something. She didn’t really put much effort in socializing but one thing undeniable about her was her beauty she was that handsome type of beauty. You waved your hands at her you were maybe too excited she just walked towards her expression hard to read, she always had a resting face.

“I was kinda late, sorry” she spoke a little cold it gave you chills, is she always this serious? You didn’t expect any type of laughter or giggling but a little smile wouldn’t hurt anyone!

The tutoring session went pretty smoothly she told you the basic stuff and you immediately got the hang of it, like the teacher said you weren’t stupid you just needed someone to take interest in you. It was very silent, yeah a library is supposed to be silent but this maybe was too silent. You looked around and saw no one near you or even far away from you. You looked at the entrance of the library and there was no one even the bored librarian wasn’t there you looked around a little more and there was literally no one. A panic immediately started to hit you, you can’t be stuck in here seriously. Minji saw how uncomfortable you were and decided to give you a little hug whispering “hey calm down, we are going to get out of here. Let’s call someone” minji maybe was too calm about this whole situation but deep inside she was having a little panic attack. Yeah she didn’t show much emotions but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about people’s feelings, she just couldn’t express with words but her actions did.

You called the school principal and he said that they will come get the both out while waiting you decide to make a little chit chat to burn some time and comfort you a little. “I know this might sound weird but have you had any crush” this was the basic middle school dudes question while playing truth or dare but in this situation you didn’t honestly care, If she wants to think your weird then so be it. “Yeah” she answered tone little softer now, as a nosy person you couldn’t help but ask who, “oooh do you mind telling me who?” You said to excited, she gave you a little smirk making a point below your stomach tingle “what about I will describe it and you should guess, I’m pretty sure you know them” she said in a seductive voice immediately shocking you seeing the new side of her, your not complaining tho it was pretty hot. “Why not, tell me” you said too excited. “Hmmm well she is a girl, she is very gorgeous and adorable, she has never interacted with me before but did now and Uhmm her mental health hasn’t been the best which was secretly hurting me. I have always admired her from a far” she uttered scooting closer to you. Her description definitely had some suspicion in you, deep inside you wanted it to be you but the chances of her licking you were very very slim. “Uhm I don’t…know, please tell me” you stated. She was so close to you now, “hmm sure why not” she brought her face near you inches a part. Your breath hitched and you closed your eyes, she brought her plush lips to your pair and soon you felt something kissing you softly, when she moved her lips from yours, you were shocked a good shocked tho. “Did this tell enough, princess or…?” She questioned looking deep into your eyes, intoxicating you with her pair of eyes almost like hypnotizing you and before you knew you grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her into a deep kiss passionate and warm. She immediately kissed back, placing her hand on your upper back and gently laying you down. She took her skirt off revealing her erection, and damn, was she big? She was huge and her length being hard doubling it size. Without much of thinking you grabbed it touching it earning a groan from her, she was thick and had girth. You went on your knees and saw how her tip was filled with precum. Your tongue exploring her tip and length, her precum was very creamy but salty. Her hand found its way to your neck and squeezed it “don’t tease doll!” Her breath hitched. You tried to take her in one go but she was too big. She gave you a dark giggle full of lust “too big for you baby?” You tried to take her one more time but you gagged uncontrollably while coughing. But still you wanted to please her so you started sucking half of her length, bobbing your head around it. Soon after she started twitching inside your mouth, breath getting faster and moans getting louder. Without warning her thick white salty cum filled your mouth. She looked you in the eyes “swallow it, all of it” and as a good girl you obeyed her, swallowing her release. She was satisfied,way too satisfied. “On all fours baby, mommy is going to reward you for being so good” the excitement of her words flood your brain and your body immediately reacted to her, taking off your pants and panties leaving you with only an oversized shirt. And getting onto all fours, she groaned seeing how obedient you are for her. She couldn’t wait anymore and gave you her whole length, not even letting you adjust to her, immediately thrusting passionately hitting spots you never thought existed. Bumping into your g-spot and to spots people never even named. Her ruthless pace never cooled down if anything it only got rougher, with few more thrusts and few ass reddening spanks your release flood all over your thighs. Her relentless pace didn’t stop, the way you got now tighter made her eyes roll back and a hitched groan came from her “fuck baby so tight”. With how clenching you are around her length it didn’t take her long to feel her high close. Few seconds later she pulled out and white sperm got released on your back.

[lavndrystudios]

the feels

pairing: sunoo x reader, jay x reader

characters: kim sunoo, jay park (enha), lee heeseung, shin yuna, lee chaeryeong, yang jungwon, nishimura riki, jang wonyoung

word count: ~4.6k

warnings: school au, bad writing, title kinda has nothing to do with the story, jungwon and chaeryeong like each other for plot purposes, i tried to keep it as ambiguous as possible but if there’s anything i should change let me know!, i have no idea how hair dye works, basically sunoo likes you but you like jay

an; this is my first story! i’d appreciate if you guys would let me know what you think, i kinda wanna start posting my stuff on here! i have a part two written if anyone is interested in that (maybe i'll post it anyway even if no one is interested lol). feedback is appreciated and i hope you guys like it! :)

You let out sigh of relief as you drop into your usual seat at the lunch table. You do a mental head count of who is already there as you take your lunch out of your book bag.

Yuna, Chaeryeong, Jay, Jungwon, Heeseung, and-.

You.

I don’t know you.

And it must show on your face that you don’t know this person because Jay elbows you in the side before whispering, “you’re staring.”

You jolt out of your daze and continue to unpack your lunch, greeting your other friends with smiles. Heeseung speaks up first.

He clears his throat. “Guys, this is Sunoo. He just moved here and he’s in my history class. Everyone be nice to him.”

Yuna scoffs. “Be nice? When have you ever known me to not be nice?”

“You pushed me down the stairs last week,” Jay counters.

“You posted that video of me dancing in my sleep after I asked you not to,” Jungwon adds.

“Literally this morning you forgot my name and called me Heechul,” Heeseung pouts.

“You all are so ungrateful,” Yuna interjects. “You know what I call that? Friendship. People would kill to have a friendship like that with me.”

“If they’re willing to kill to be friends with you, then maybe you deserve them,” Chaeryeong mumbles. Yuna’s jaw drops open.

You decide to step in before things start to escalate. “Hi Sunoo, I’m Y/N, and I promise we’re not always this crazy,” you say. His eyes sparkle, and he giggles.

“Okay, nice to meet you, Y/N.” You nod.

“Likewise.” Off to the side, Heeseung smirks at Sunoo. Sunoo just blushes and looks down at his food.

***

You sip from your water bottle lazily as you sit to the side and watch your friends’ dance practice. They’re joined by newcomer Sunoo, who is surprisingly very flexible. He picks up the moves quickly and seems to fit right into your friend group. You tell him such when he sits down next to you during their water break.

He bears a big grin after you do. His ears turn red as he mumbles out a thank you. You smile back at him, happy to have made him happy with your compliment.

“Do you dance?” He asks, changing the topic.

You sigh. “Yes and no? It’s sorta complicated.” You chuckle to try and ease the tension.

“Yes and no?,” he repeats. His eyes are genuine and wide, curiosity evident in them. He seems like he really wants to know. So you tell him.

“I used to. A lot, actually. In middle school and during my freshman year. Then when sophomore year hit, a family member of mine had a big health scare. They haven’t really…been the same ever since. I stopped dancing to make time to take care of them, and I sorta lost confidence in myself.” You begin to fiddle with your shoelaces, feeling suddenly very shy. “Everyone else improved so much while I was gone, I figured I could never catch up. So, I just quit.” You let out a long breath after you finished. You didn’t realize just how much you had been holding in. You chance a glance at Sunoo, and he looks understanding. Not pitious, but genuinely understanding. He nods solemnly.

“I’m sorry you went through that. I don’t mean to invalidate your experience, but I can kinda understand what you went through. I, myself, have always had some problems with my health.” He picks at his nails before continuing, his voice small. “In fact, right before I moved here I had to have major surgery. I couldn’t dance for a couple months afterwards. Going back was really scary, especially when I knew that it wasn’t guaranteed that I’d be completely healthy afterwards. Even still, I have to take a lot of breaks when I dance, but I try to not let fear stop me from doing what I love.” Your heart tightens, and you realize that the boy in front of you is more than just sunshine and giggles. He’s a person, with true problems. How he chooses to face them, though, is what makes him different from most.

“I’ve actually…never told anyone that since moving out here. I don’t want anyone to look at me any differently,” he continues with a sour smile on his face. You reach out and put a hand on his shoulder. He looks at it worriedly before looking at you. You smile at him as gently as you can.

“I don’t see you any differently than who you are, and I’m sure that no one else will either, if you decide to tell them.” His smile turns sweet, into the one you’re more used to seeing on him.

“I’ve never told anyone about my family member before either. I didn’t want them to worry.” You eye your friends when you say this, calming down when you see them still laughing together on the other side of the room. “I just told them I felt like it wasn’t time for me to rejoin the team, and while they don’t know everything that’s going on, I think they understand. That’s just the kind of people they are. They’ll care for you, no matter what you tell or do for them in return.” You turn back to Sunoo, who’s already looking at you, a thoughtful smile on his face. You try to match his look, but Yuna calls him back before you can.

“Hey, Sir Smiles-a-Lot, let’s get back to work.” His eyes widen in surprise, and he scrambles up to get back in formation. He arrives in his spot next to Jungwon, who pokes him with his elbow and whispers something in Sunoo’s ear. Sunoo pushes Jungwon off with an embarrassed grin on his face, shaking his head. You chuckle at their antics.

***

Riki is an idiot. You have to refrain yourself from telling him such as you stay behind in the chemistry classroom, finishing the lab that he was joking so much during that the two of you didn’t finish your experiment. You grumble under your breath once you finish, packing your stuff and all but sprinting away from him. You spare a glance behind you at him, and he looks completely unbothered, hands in his pockets as he whistles down the hallway. You roll your eyes.

When you reach the cafeteria doors you slow down, smoothing over your outfit before calmly walking in. You spot your friends across the room and wave, but they don’t notice you. Instead, they’re leaned in towards Sunoo, whose face is sheepish as he talks. He’s fighting a smile, while everyone else bears smirks. Their conversation becomes clearer as you get closer.

“I dunno, she just makes me happy. But please, don’t tell her. I’m not ready,” you hear from Sunoo.

You calmly take your usual seat across from Sunoo, pulling your lunch out of your backpack. Usually, Jay fills you in on what you missed when you arrive late to a conversation, so the fact that he’s oddly quiet right now is kind of concerning. (It’s one of the things you like about him.) That, and the fact that he usually can’t stay quiet for longer than a minute. (Something else you like about him.) No one speaks up, so you assume the conversation wasn’t meant for you to hear. You can’t say it doesn’t hurt, but you decide to respect their privacy.

The silence is killing me, though. Thankfully, someone walks into the cafeteria right at that moment.

“Hey, Jay; Wonyoung, 12 o’ clock,” you say as you notice Jay’s crush walk through the doors of the cafeteria. Everyone turns around to look at her. You are disappointed that you can’t deny that she’s beautiful. No one can.

Her long beachy waves flow behind her and her frame is toned and skinny. Her eyes are big and bright. She’s gorgeous. She’s everything Jay deserves.

“Who are we kidding? Jay can’t pull her,” Heeseung snorts. Sunoo furrows his eyebrows as he watches her sit at a table with her friends. Jay glares at Heeseung.

“I can and I will. Just you wait. A girl like her deserves a strong, awesome man like me,” he says with a confident, almost cocky smile. You pick at your lunch after that, suddenly not feeling as hungry. Sunoo notices. He grabs your right hand with his left and when your attention turns towards him, his eyes ask you if you’re okay. You nod and press your lips into a smile. You pray he doesn’t notice your eyes tearing up.

To your luck, he doesn’t, and nods back at you before returning to his food, but leaving his hand on yours. It trembles slightly, but comforts you nonetheless.

***

The lights are fluorescent in Sunoo’s bathroom. He’s perched on a stool in front of you. Next to you, Jay reads the instructions for the hair dye.

“Apply generously to the hair, then leave to set for 2 minutes. Rinse hair thoroughly with water and let air dry,” Jay relays. You nod your head before meeting Sunoo’s eyes in the mirror. He smiles at you. You wink at him. Jay watches.

“Okay…” he interrupts, his face in a grimace. “Let’s do this thing.” Sunoo quickly brushes his hair before shaking it out. You and Jay put on the plastic gloves included in the boxes of dye. You squeeze a sizable amount of the dye onto your hands, throwing a mischievous grin at the two boys as you do. You rub your hands together, hovering them over Sunoo’s head. You meet his eyes in the mirror once again.

“You ready?” you ask.

He swallows. Then nods. “Mhm.”

You press your hands onto his head, then start combing your fingers through it. Sunoo shivers once, then twice. You pause. ‘You good?,’ you ask with your eyes. He nods. You continue.

You and Jay stand on opposite sides of his head, combing the dye through Sunoo’s hair. He closes his eyes and hums in content. Music plays quietly from Jay’s phone, because according to him, it was “too quiet in here”.

You bop your head along lightly to the music as you work, before you feel a slight sense. You furrow your eyebrows and turn to the mirror to find Sunoo watching you with a slight smile on his face. He doesn’t turn away when you catch him, either. You shake your head with a smile and return to your work.

A couple of minutes later, you’re finishing up the last section of Sunoo’s hair when the doorbell rings.

“That’s probably Heeseung with the food. I’m done my side, I’ll go get it,” Jay says, taking off his gloves. He leaves the room to answer the door, leaving you and Sunoo in the bathroom.

You break the silence first. “So, why pink?,” you ask. Sunoo chuckles.

“I don’t really know. Just because?” He answers. “My mom always called me ‘her peach’, maybe that inspired it.” You stick out your bottom lip with a small laugh.

“You know what? I do see it, though!” You both laugh. It goes silent again. Sunoo has his lips pressed together. He looks to be deep in thought.

“Y/N, I need to tell you somethi-“ he starts.

“Can I see it?” Heeseung shouts, bursting into the bathroom. He gasps at Sunoo’s new hair, even though it hasn’t been rinsed yet. “It’s pink, I love it.” Sunoo laughs, although it sounds slightly forced.

“Is everyone else here yet?,” you ask. Heeseung nods.

“Yeah, they’re unpacking the food in the kitchen.” You drop your mouth open in faux shock.

“Make sure Jungwon doesn’t eat all the Hawaiian pizza! I know how he gets.” Heeseung laughs as he walks out the bathroom.

“Will do,” he throws back as he leaves.

You clap your hands together, finished with Sunoo’s hair. “All done!” He grins and claps his hands together, and you can’t deny it’s adorable. His eyes squint together and his cheeks puff out. You decide against poking them, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t want to.

“Ready to rinse?,” you ask, and he nods enthusiastically. You lead him over to his tub and turn on the water while he kneels down. Once it’s warm, you guide his head under and begin rinsing out the excess dye. You comb your fingers through his strands and scratch his scalp lightly.

“Oh my god,” he mumbles. You chuckle.

“Feels nice?,” you ask.

“You have no idea,” he replies. “Especially because it’s you,” he adds softly.

You hesitate. “What does that mean?,” you ask with a small laugh.

“Everything.” He doesn’t continue, and you don’t press further. You turn off the water and Sunoo shakes out his hair. You laugh as droplets land on you, and shove him lightly. He smiles teasingly and takes the towel from your hands, drying his hair with it before resting it over his shoulders. He walks over to the mirror, checking out his new hair color. You put your hands on your hips beside him.

“So, what do you think?”

“I love it,” he says, and the smile on his face is huge as he does. He wraps you in a hug and squeezes tightly.

“Thank you,” he mumbles into your neck. You hesitate, surprised, before responding and wrapping your arms back around him.

“Of course,” you reply, scratching the back of his head. He hums, and the two of you stay that way for a while.

Until Chaeryeong clears her throat.

You pull apart, turning to see her standing in the doorway, an awkward look on her face. “Uh, I was just wondering if you knew how to open the umbrella on your patio table,” she spoke out hesitantly, pointing weakly at Sunoo. “We’re about to head outside.”

Sunoo stands there facing her, oddly stiff for a second, and you can’t see the look on his face, but Chaeryeong sends him an apologetic one back. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m coming,” he says, finally.

“Okay, cool,” she sighs, pressing her back to the side of the doorway, letting him pass in front of her. She coughs awkwardly again before following him, and you wash your hands quickly before meeting everyone outside. You grab your slice of pizza and a soda can and bring it outside with you. Sunoo is tightening the umbrella into place, and everyone is talking and laughing with each other. Yuna listens intently as Jay tells a story, and Jungwon and Heeseung are joking with each other until Jungwon notices Chaeryeong’s presence. He waves her over with a smile, and she skips over to where he’s sitting. He wraps an arm around her waist before continuing to talk to Heeseung.

You smile fondly. You love your friends, and it brings you joy to see them happy and enjoying themselves like this. Sunoo comes over to stand next to you.

“What are you thinking?,” he asks. You turn to him and smile.

“I just love you guys,” you beam, before taking a seat at the table. You didn’t notice Sunoo’s hand slightly outstretched to try and brush with yours.

Nor do you hear him whisper, “if only you knew” before sitting down and taking the seat next to you.

***

It’s cold in Jay’s basement. You ask him several times if you guys can move to his much warmer living room, but he refuses. ‘The vibes are better down here,’ he says, although you don’t see how a dartboard and one wall of LED lights give a room “better vibes”.

You rub your hands up and down your arms for what feels like the 20th time when you feel something drop onto your shoulders. You look up to see Sunoo walking back to his seat on the loveseat across the room before pulling the mystery item off your shoulders. A white hoodie. The same white hoodie Sunoo arrived wearing. You send him a grateful smile as you slip your arms through the sleeves. He nods bashfully back at you.

Heeseung claps his hands together, effectively grabbing everyone’s attention. “Alright losers, who wants to play truth or dare?”

“Me,” Jungwon answers without hesitation, sitting up in his seat. Chaeryeong watches how Jungwon reacts and replies in a similar way to him, tucking her legs under herself and agreeing to the game. Jay shrugs.

“Actually, not really. I always get picked to do the worst dares,” Yuna replies glumly. Heeseung rolls his eyes before whispering something in her ear, and her eyes light up before she speaks again.

“But on second thought, I think today will be my lucky day.”

You see Sunoo look at you, trying to gage how you’ll respond. You pull his hoodie tighter around you before agreeing. He nods his head after you respond.

“Okay good. Let’s start with Jay. Jay, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Lame,” Jungwon shouts. Yuna and Sunoo chuckle. Jay rolls his eyes.

“Okay…what’s your favorite thing about me?” Heeseung asks. Jay ponders for a while, his head dropping in thought. He lifts it up again when he comes up with an answer.

“How you always manage to make everyone laugh. It just comes so naturally to you, and I’ve honestly always been a bit jealous of that,” Jay speaks quietly, admitting something really personal to him. Heeseung nods slowly before also shouting out “lame!” Everyone in the room bursts into laughter, and Jay rolls his eyes, but he’s laughing too. “Alright, Jay, you ask next.” Jay looks around the room before choosing his next victim.

“Yuna.” Her face drops as she hears her name called. She tucks her hair behind her ear as Jay asks the question. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” she replies confidently. Jay smiles evilly.

“Speak in your Hussey accent until your next turn.” Yuna freezes.

“Don’t do this, Jay, I thought we agreed to forget about Hussey-,” she pleads.

“Ah, does that sound like Hussey to you? Cause it sure doesn’t to me.” Everyone laughs as Yuna rolls her eyes. You take advantage of the commotion to walk over to Sunoo, and he scoots over in anticipation of you. However, he’s already sharing the seat with Jungwon, so your legs are pressed against each other’s when you sit. Sunoo’s face is red, but he was laughing pretty hard at Yuna’s misfortune and continues to act like normal so you choose to ignore it.

“You’re gonna enjoy this. Hussey is what we call Yuna’s god-awful southern accent,” you lean in to tell Sunoo. He laughs even harder at this, clapping his hands and doubling over. Yuna clears her throat before speaking.

“I wayn’t furgut thus, Jayuh Pahk,” Yuna stumbles out, glaring at Jay as he falls over laughing. Sunoo and I fall into each other as we laugh at her horrible accent.

Once everyone manages to calm down (which takes way longer than it should), it’s Yuna’s turn to ask.

“Chaeryeong, truth or dare?” Chaeryeong seems unworried as she makes her choice.

“Truth.” ‘Fatal mistake, Chaeryeong,’ you think.

“Is ayt true you got a crursh on Jungwon?” Yuna asks, keeping up with her accent. Chaeryeong’s eyes shoot open. Jungwon sits up straight at the mention of his name. His eyebrows are raised as he looks at Chaeryeong expectantly. Chaeryeong waves her hands out in front of her as her face turns red, stuttering out ‘no’ in almost any way she can. She’s completely lying, of course.

Jay and Heeseung laugh at how flustered Chaeryeong becomes. Jungwon’s eyebrows drop back down.

“So you don’t like me?,” he tries to clarify.

“Uh, no. No no no.” She laughs awkwardly as she tucks her hair behind her ear and covers her mouth with her hand. Jungwon nods before turning away, and the second he does Chaeryeong sends Yuna the nastiest glare you’ve ever seen. Yuna completely ignores it.

“Hm, alrighty then. Chaeryeong, yur turn.” Chaeryeong lets out a sigh before looking around the room, ready to pass the embarrassment she just felt onto someone else.

“Sunoo.” You feel him stiffen beside you, and you pat his leg to comfort him. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth?,” he asks warily. Chaeryeong pretends to think, tapping her chin with her finger. She snaps when she “comes up” with an answer.

“Is it true you think Y/N is really pretty?” Everyone’s jaw drops except for yours. You’re confused. Why you?

“Uh…” he starts. Chaeryeong cuts him off.

“Cause you were telling us the other day you thought she had crystals for eyes. You know, after the hour long rant about her smile-“

“YES, yes I think she’s pretty. We can move on now, right?,” he shouts through gritted teeth. Chaeryeong smiles proudly.

You nudge Sunoo. “Thanks, bud. You’re not too bad looking yourself.” Beside him, Jungwon cringes.

He chuckles awkwardly before shaking his head. “Ok, uh, Y/N, truth or dare?” You suck in a breath before answering. “Dare.”

“Alright, uh, hop on one-,” he stops when Heeseung abruptly jumps out of his seat to whisper something into Sunoo’s ear. ‘A lot of whispering seems to be happening lately,’ you muse.

Sunoo shakes his head fervently at whatever Heeseung says, and Heeseung rolls his eyes before whispering again. Sunoo sighs, and glances at you before looking down at his shoes.

“I dare you to hold hands with the most attractive person in the room,” he mumbles. He then looks up at you, almost hopefully, but his face drops when you stand up. You trudge across the room to where Jay is sitting on the floor and plop down next to him before grabbing his hand and putting it in yours.

“Don’t get any ideas, Park, I’m just being objective here,” you mumble, hoping your attempt at neutrality deters the group from realizing your true feelings for Jay.

“But I have so many ideas right now,” he blurts out. You facepalm into your free hand.

The room is silent, and you lift your head again to find everyone staring at you and Jay, shocked. Except for Sunoo, who has a look on his face you can’t quite read. You furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

Chaeryeong clears her throat and Heeseung squirms in his seat. Jungwon licks his lips before announcing that he doesn’t want to play anymore. Chaeryeong agrees, suggesting we watch a movie instead. Sunoo sits silently before getting up, mumbling a small “bathroom” as he speedwalks out of the frigid basement. Heeseung drops his head.

“You guys think he’s ok?” you ask, going back to your original seat on the couch.

“No, you dimwit, you just broke his heart,” Jungwon sighs, leaning back in his seat and rolling his eyes.

“What?” you exclaim, looking at everyone else for clarification, but they all have the same pitious and disappointed looks on their faces.

“Are you blind?” Yuna shouts. “He’s been, like, in love with you since he met you.” Off to the side, Chaeryeong nods.

“This is all my fault,” Heeseung says to no one in particular. His head is in his hands and he speaks with disbelief. “I thought this would work, I-I’m such an idiot.”

Your words are caught in your throat. You have to say it. You blurt it out before anyone can stop you-

“I like Jay.” Once again, all eyes are on you.

“WHAT?” Jungwon screams.

You repeat yourself. “I-I like Jay. I have for, like, a year now.” You spare a look at him, and his face is scrunched into a mixture of surprise and disgust. Ouch.

“But I like Wonyoung,” he replies.

“Dude, you’re never going to end up with Wonyoung, get over it,” Heeseung sighs.

“I know! I know, but I had to reject Y/N somehow.”

“Ouch,” you sigh, voicing your feelings this time. His face turns apologetic.

“I’m sorry, it’s just — I thought you liked Sunoo back! You’re always talking to him.”

“Yeah, cause we’re friends! Excuse me for not assuming everyone I talk to has a crush on me.”

“Is in love with,” Jungwon corrects.

“Thank you, Jungwon, cause that is so important right now!” you shout, frustrated.

“It is!” He retorts.

“I like Jungwon,” Chaeryeong spits out, looking straight ahead.

“Oh thank god,” Jungwon rushes out before getting out of his seat and straight up kissing her. You and Jay look at each other in amazement at what’s going on.

It’s only then that Sunoo makes his presence known once again.

“What is going on?,” he asks, standing on the edge of the stairs. Everyone freezes and turns to him, save for Chaeryeong and Jungwon who are still making out in the chair. You stand up.

“Can we talk?,” you ask him softly. He presses his lips together and nods. You walk over and take his hand, leading him upstairs.

Once you reach Jay’s living room, you take a quick scan, ensuring that the room is empty. Once you’re sure that it is, you seat Sunoo down on the couch. It’s quiet for a minute, as you try to read his expression, but for once, he’s guarded, and you can’t tell what he’s thinking at all. It’s unlike him, and you don’t like it at all.

You take a deep breath before speaking. “I’m sorry. Everyone just told me about how you… feel about me. I had no idea.”

He looks down. “That’s ok. I was trying to keep it a secret. Heeseung told me I should give you that dare to see how you felt about me. I didn’t want to, but he insisted. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that,” he says. It’s quiet for a beat, before he continues.

“I wasn’t really sure how you felt about me, but I know that you’re it for me. You’re kind, sweet, beautiful, funny, and so purely awesome. Being around you makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world to be able to be in your presence… I was actually planning to ask you out tonight, after we all finished hanging out, but since I know you don’t feel the same I’ll just-“

And in that moment, a couple things run through your mind. You take in Sunoo’s disappointed face, trying to remain strong as you are about to potentially reject him. You remember Jay’s reaction when you voiced your feelings for him, and that he doesn’t share your affections. Instead, he likes Wonyoung, a beautiful girl that you don’t feel you’ll ever be able to measure up to.

This all swirls around in your mind, one thought racing after another, and you think it’s this brain tornado fogging your line of thought that causes you to respond-

“I’d go out with you.” Your jaw drops, and you quickly cover it with your hand. Sunoo finally meets your eyes, and they begin to sparkle with the same shine that you’re used to on him.

“R-really?,” he asks. You blink, processing what you’ve just subjected yourself to, before nodding hesitantly.

“Y-yeah. Sure I will.” You try to give as convincing of a smile as you can. You know, deep down, that you’ve made the wrong decision thanks to your big mouth, but you’re in too deep now to retract your statement. Sunoo wraps you in a big hug, the tightness of it broadcasting how excited he is. When he lets go, he immediately grabs both of your hands in his.

“Wow! I can’t believe it! Uh- thank you! I mean, uh, yeah! Wow! That’s cool. Haha, awesome,” he exclaims.

“I’m gonna go tell everybody downstairs,” he says, before jumping out of his seat and rushing back down to the basement.

You look at where he just sat, mind reeling over everything that just went down. You reminisce on the fate you just accepted: going on a date with a boy you only feel friendship for. You heave a deep sigh, before getting up, and following him down the stairs, preparing to keep the illusion going.

What have you just done?

an ; i hope you liked it! weird ending i know but it’s all setup for the part 2 :)

much love!

ivy ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .

[lewmagoo]

I've seen you mention is a couple times, and I got curious.What's your story about college? I know you said you still have yet to finish/it's a long story. Would ya feel like sharing that story if it's not too personal? I'm a nosey bitch, I'm so sorry. Just ignore this if u want to

i don't mind sharing the story. i guess i'll start at the beginning. it's a lot, so buckle up. i put it under a read more bc it turned into a whole novel.

in 2019 i moved to florida so i could go to college there. but the circumstances leading up to me going were pretty traumatic. literally days before i packed up my whole life and moved across the country, we found out my mom's brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. that ofc added to my stress level, bc i was torn, as i wanted to stay home to be there for my family during such a shitty thing. but i left anyway and started college.

not even a month into my first semester, my mom called to tell me my grandpa had died. so i had to fly back home for the funeral. that was very traumatic, because it was the first loss i truly experienced. i'd lost family members before, but not ones this close. anyway, i came home for the funeral, then went back to florida. during this time, my uncle was getting progressively worse. by the time i came home for christmas break, he was in hospice care. he looked awful, i'll never forget it. he'd always been such a strong, solid guy, he was a marine, and you know the whole marine schtick, they're all tough and shit. but he was reduced to a skeleton, essentially.

i got ready to head back to florida a few weeks later, and when i said goodbye to him, i knew it would be the last time i'd ever see him again. barely a month later, and he passed away. so, i had to come back home again for the funeral. afterwards, i returned to florida, only to start hearing whispers about a virus going around. a couple weeks later we were being sent home because the world was shut down. nobody knew what was going on so it was terrifying, of course. but i made it home and finished my semester online. fast forward to may 2020. my great uncle passes away from complications due to covid. we couldn't go to the funeral because of regulations. it sucked to not be able to be with the rest of my family during this time.

a few months later, i was heading back to florida to continue college, after travel restrictions had been lifted, etc. literally while i was at the airport, i received a phone call that my cousin had passed away. i wasn't close to him at all, in fact i hardly ever spoke a word to him, because we didn't grow up together. but it still hit close to home after everything my family had gone through the last several months. but, life had to go on, so i went back to school and did my thing. however, only a couple weeks into the semester, a hurricane slammed us. that was scary, of course, because i'd never experienced anything like that. but, we made it through.

then, fast forward to the next semester. up until this point, my courses had been relatively easy for me. i had a good gpa, only struggled in one or two classes, etc. but this semester was brutal. the most difficult semester i'd ever gone through. my mental health was in the gutter after everything i'd dealt with in the last year. i was extremely depressed, my physical health wasn't great, and my grades were slipping. i had one class in particular that was hell for me. the professor was awful. and i couldn't drop his class because he was the only one who taught it, and it was required for my major. so i forced myself to get through it. but i hated every minute of it. i had the class three days a week and each day i would have horrible anxiety attacks before class and work myself up so badly. yeah, it was misery.

during that time, i started considering that taking a break from college was a good course of action for me. but i wasn't sure. i was like "maybe i'm just a pussy. maybe i should just suck it up and force myself to come back next year." but the thought of coming back the next year made me want to kill myself, and i am not exaggerating when i say that. so, ultimately, i finished that semester, and stepped away from college. and it was the best decision i've ever made, not only because my mental health has greatly improved since then, but also because some shit went down in my family.

last october, which was during the time when i already would've been in the midst of my next college semester, my dad was injured in a fall that resulted in the complete rupture of both quad tendons in each leg. this means he was entirely unable to walk. he had to undergo emergency surgery, and he was laid up for 9 months straight, unable to go to work or do anything at all really. this is where i say my decision not to go back to school was divine intervention, bc if i had gone anyway, i would've had to come back home, because my mom needed help with my dad. i became his caregiver while she was busy working and trying to keep the family afloat financially. those were some dark times, for sure.

so, that's my extremely long winded story about why i have yet to finish college, lmao. i'm transferring to an online program next year to finish my last two years. i know i could never go back to my old college, my mind associates it with trauma and negative things now, and i think if i were to go back to living at that campus i'd spiral mentally. i'm glad i left when i did

[barrenwomb]

hi there! Sorry if bother but how did you decide to study nursing? I've finished high school last year and decided to take a gap year ( mostly due to mental health reasons + trying to make enough money working here and there to support myself in the future + just general indecisiveness lmao) and I'm still stuck thinking about what i wanna study in the future, bc i DO wanna keep studying and go to uni, but my decision is still up in the air. Did u already knew what you were going to study after high school? What made you chose to become a nurse? Anyway i hope you're having a good evening <3

hi<3 um, well,

^^^

ok, on a more serious note. i started uni (law school) immediately after graduating high school and i dropped out a year later because. well, because i was severely mentally ill, to be honest. then for another year i worked the shittiest jobs known to men until i decided to try the entrance test for nursing school just because and i somehow made it in. i wasn’t sure about my choice until i started working shxjnsbsjs ok, so like, why nursing? mostly because i spent my teenage years taking care of my mom when she got severely ill so i was already familiar with lots of medical and nursing stuff (IV nutrition, PICC catheters, pressure sores, NG tube, etc). also because im the most unimpressionable person ever, scarily phlegmatic even, and i’m very good with people! AND also because i needed to find a job asap — which i did btw. i got hired a week later after my graduation. it’s not an easy job and it’s definitely not for everyone. it requires great mental and physical strength, but considering i always saw myself as a weak ass pussy and now im really good at my job i encourage you to try if you feel like it’d work for you. you don’t know how actually resilient and strong you are until you become a healthcare worker. being a nurse kind of sucks, objectively, because people tend to understimate you and your job a lot, and also because there are serious issues with our healthcare system (talking specifically about italy but these issues are common all over the world tbh), like chronic staff shortage and work overload. personally i like what i do. it gives me a sense of purpose + i could never do a desk job because i need to move around and use both my brain AND my hands. it’s stressful, though. very. extremely mentally proving. i’m glad i made this choice, though. i can’t imagine myself doing anything else now. it’s not my dream job but it’s the job for me. i like having my hands covered in blood and other body humors — don’t tell my patients! just kidding. i won’t be one of those annoying mfs who are like waaah never become a nurse it’s a literal hell waaah. maybe they’re right but we NEED more nurses. oh god if we do. we also need to unionize and start a revolution btw. i wish you the best of luck! keep me updated! kisses mwah mwah! if i made it everyone can!

[themomsandthecity]

The Postpartum Phase No One Talks About

The day after arriving home from the hospital with her newborn, Lauren Cooper woke up with a massive headache. "It hurt to open my eyes," she says, recalling that she had to wear sunglasses to her son's first pediatrician appointment in order to manage the pain. Google told her it was likely just hormones. But by that night, her sister, who'd gone to nursing school, convinced her to phone the on-call doctor. That obstetrician recommended Cooper take a blood pressure reading. "I told her what it was, and she said, 'Lauren, you have to go to the ER right now. You have preeclampsia and you are at risk of having a seizure or a stroke,'" she says. Cooper was admitted to the hospital, put on a magnesium drip, and told she was one of the lucky ones: If patients ignore the symptoms and stay home, postpartum preeclampsia can potentially be fatal. It happens more often than you might think. Despite how much medical attention parents-to-be get while pregnant, once they're discharged after delivering their baby, there's a major drop-off in healthcare - even though nearly two-thirds of pregnancy-related deaths in the US happen after giving birth, according to a study by The Commonwealth Fund. Researchers call this the "postpartum cliff." --- Experts Featured in This Article Stephanie White is a certified doula and nurse care manager at the family-building support company WIN. Nicole Sparks, MD, is a board-certified ob-gyn and children's book author based in Atlanta. --- Bridging the Postpartum Cliff "Society expects new mothers to 'bounce back to normal,' with the idea that it's natural for women to have babies," says doula Stephanie White. "Mothers ignore when something could be wrong physically and mentally to care for their baby and family, and may not even recognize that she doesn't feel well or is bleeding too much." The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends that patients have initial contact with their obstetrician within three weeks postpartum, and a more comprehensive visit 12 weeks after birth. However, "a surprising amount of people do not follow up to their postpartum appointments," says ob-gyn Nicole Sparks, MD. Others might see their OB, but never make it to their primary care provider for things like long-term chronic conditions. "And so after they're done with their OB, they're just done. And they may be sitting there with high blood pressure, diabetes, mental health conditions, postpartum depression, all of those things with no one to lay eyes on them," Dr. Sparks says. There are a number of reasons why postpartum patients skip their appointments. Sometimes it's because insurance doesn't cover enough of the costs. Sometimes there are transportation or childcare issues. "Or they literally just forget because they're tired and sleep-deprived and overwhelmed," Dr. Sparks says. Dr. Sparks admits that after having each of her three kids, she developed postpartum depression and barely followed up with her own medical team. "I just didn't want to leave my house. It was too overwhelming to get in the car and go somewhere," she adds. Yet not getting the necessary care can be dangerous. Just after giving birth, the most common serious health problems are excessive bleeding, infection, and preeclampsia and high blood pressure (which might seem to be under control prior to discharge only to skyrocket after going home, according to White). Even up to a year later, cardiomyopathy, or a weakened heart muscle, can be fatal, the March of Dimes reports. Meanwhile, the National Institutes of Health estimates that postpartum depression affects about 15 percent of those who give birth while reported rates of postpartum anxiety range from 13 to 40 percent, according to a study in "Infant Behavior and Development." Experts suggest patients contact a provider if anything seems wrong after leaving the hospital. In particular, Dr. Sparks says that a headache that won't go away or vision… https://www.popsugar.com/family/postpartum-cliff-49393676?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[boomerangjr]

It hurts to realize that the weeks-long "anxiety attacks" I was experiencing as a young teenager were actually OCD episodes.

It breaks my heart knowing help would have been easily and readily available but I never received it, despite almost constantly displaying signs that something was wrong. I dropped weight, cried constantly, and missed days of school because my compulsions were literally making me sick. I would talk about how my mind 'wouldn't be quiet' and 'kept repeating over and over' all the time. Little things that would be slightly disappointing 'aw shucks' moments for the majority of people became inescapable obsessions repeating in my mind -- breakups, the health of a family member, world events, even online discourse about a piece of media I enjoyed..

And it was all random too! literally one day I could be fine, maybe a little sleep deprived or stressed from school or something,, then *wham* an impending sense of doom that would stick with me for weeks. For the period of time the OCD episode had its claws in me, it would seep into everything I did. It felt like a gross icky rain cloud clogging up all my senses in the way that I couldn't just shake it off me.

Getting older and realizing that help should have been provided to me when I was clearly not okay.. that really sucks.

I could have [and SHOULD have] been provided with coping mechanisms and medicine instead of whatever the fuck it was I did to get through it. Suffering, I guess? LOL

Idk. I can feel an OCD episode/flareup on the horizon and it makes me nervous. Just reminds me of the time I spent years ago trying to 'figure it all out' for hours at a time just to get some mental peace.

[eyecide]

OKAY, here’s the whole story. Like I said it’s very long, but I tried to keep it as short as I could! I obviously couldn’t include Everything for multiple reasons, and a lot of this stuff I’ve posted about multiple times anyways

Ok so my ex fiancé and I broke up multiple times through the course of our nearly 2 year relationship, with the final time being May 8th. I definitely wasn’t ready or willing to be engaged that soon but I agreed to it with the understanding that we would wait 5 years MINIMUM to actually get married. Every day since we broke up I remind myself how eternally grateful I am to myself for sticking to my guns on that one, but it’s a story for another day

But anyway like I said this is a very very long story with a lot of important context that explains what lead to the end. It might be little rambley depending on wether or not I am in the mood to proofread this before posting, but anyways. Our relationship was honestly not something that was realistically ever going to last. I’m a very hard working person and committed person, I put a lot of effort into what I do, and I’ve always been the worker that goes the extra mile. I put a lot of pride into my hygiene and keeping my things and surroundings in clean and good order. Des on the other hand, is an insanely insecure honest to god pornbrain, who viewed me not as a partner but as living jerk off material. He struggles to work more than 20 hours a week and quits jobs with no backup plan bc they’re too hard or he just doesn’t like them. He cannot do anything challenging or commit to anything, he dropped out of 3 different schools during our relationship and spent well over half of it unemployed while I payed for him to eat fast food 3 meals a day. You can imagine the frustration and resentment I started to feel when I would be at work for nearly 4 hours by the time he managed to roll his ass out of bed. Not to mention his lack of hygiene was… indescribable. Literally all of his things were on the floor. Dirty and clean laundry were always just piled up wherever he happened to throw it. Food trash would sit in there for WEEKS until it got rancid and moldy, it’s genuinely an honest to god miracle that he never fucking got roaches. It was disgusting, I hated being in there, and I hated that every time I got sick of it and cleaned it all for him (and yes i cleaned his room for him more than he ever did) it would go right back to the was it was before in a week. And I tried so hard to be sympathetic and understand to his mental health, I really did. But being in his room so much was horrible for my mental health too. I was having severe cleanliness anxiety, and panic attacks about things being too dirty. He would drop me off at the end of the day and I would feel filthy. I wasn’t trying to fix him, but I loved him and I had always held onto the hope that he would’ve loved me enough to put in any kind of effort but that never happened

Fast forward to August of 2022, Des left for college in Arizona and things were fine… until they weren’t and he started telling me shit like he didn’t feel any connection to me anymore, wasn’t even sure if he still loved me, and kept thinking about having an open relationship. He always said that he knew an open relationship was a bad idea but I also kind of suspect he was bringing it up just to gauge my reaction to it, and I can’t prove it but I have a little suspicion he wanted us to have an open relationship at the time and would’ve done it if I didn’t say no immediately. But anyway, looking back on it, this was the first time I started to catch on to him really only valuing me for sex and not as a person or a partner. That and something else I’ve posted about before on here, where he called me after I got off work one day and went on and on about how “deprived” of sex he was in Arizona and then asked me if he could do sexual roleplays with other people online. Which obviously I was extremely uncomfortable with and said no to. He has a huge fit about it with sighing and groaning and passive aggressive comments for several minutes until I just give in and told him fine but I don’t want to hear or see anything about it ever. He did later tell me that bc it made me so uncomfortable he actually decided to never do those roleplays, which like I’ve said a few times on here before I don’t believe at all. I also believe he was doing it well before asking me but again, I can’t prove any of that.

I was supposed to move up there with him as soon as I graduated cosmetology school, and that was the plan until he told me that he actually had no intentions of even living with me when I did move up there. Which obviously really bothered me bc I was planning on leaving my entire life behind to be closer to him and he would rather kick it in the dorms on campus than share a living space with me before graduation. So I told him if he wants to stay on campus all 4 years then I wouldn’t be moving at all until he graduates, and his response is to break up with me bc he only wanted me for sex and if I didn’t plan on following him around like a dog he didn’t see the point in us being together. But we did get back together the next day

November is Really where things started to fall apart, in my opinion. I started cosmetology school in October that year, was working 40+ hours a week, dealing with workplace harassment from a new manager, and on top of 21 hours of classes I didn’t have a single day off of anything until thanksgiving break. I was absolutely exhausted, the reality of what this relationship really was was getting harder and harder to deny and on top of that I was feeling insanely lonely. I had no friends at all besides Des and had absolutely nobody to turn to when things were hard, and the reality of that was starting to weigh on me heavily

Then in November out of absolutely nowhere Justice, my ex situationship from the year before and former friend from middle school, added me on Snapchat. (I’m not going to explain the whole story between me and him bc I’ve done that Many times on here already, but if you were following me 2 years ago you might be at least vaguely aware of this anyway). He acknowledged and understood that I was in a relationship, but he wanted us to be friends again which I agreed to. We had a very productive conversation where we both agreed that our past was the past and we weren’t going to do stuff like that anymore, and at the time I very genuinely stood by that. I told Des about this immediately and he wasn’t comfortable with it, but I told him that I wasn’t asking him for permission but rather informing him. At this point Justice and I snapped back and forth infrequently but I wouldn’t actually see him in person for the first time until March

December comes, and Des drops out of college and moves back to california. This I’m not going to really go into a lot of detail about but during this time it becomes very very apparent to me that he barely tolerated being around me if I said I didn’t wanna fuck that day. And keep in mind I was working two jobs essentially, starting at 5am and ending at 10:30 pm, and dealing with a recently diagnosed health issue. Meanwhile he had no job and hadn’t worked in well over 6 months. So yeah 90% of the time I was not feeling it, especially after I would turn him down and he’d pout for hours and/or keep making advances until I gave up. It was a huge turn off, especially when it didn’t stop after I brought up how it was making me feel

February comes, we get engaged. But nearly every other week we’re fighting about something, and it becomes way too much for me. I couldn’t cope with it anymore on top of everything else in my life, and asked for a few weeks of space. I was very very clear that it was not a breakup, that was I calling off our engagement, that neither of us would be seeing other people, and that I still wanted to see him on my birthday which was in about a week from then. He decided to go ahead and check himself into the psych ward that same night to prevent that from happening. March is when I see Justice again for the first time in over a year, we just walked around at a park for a while to catch up which Des was aware of. He was very vocally upset about it and begged me to block Justice and not see him again but honestly? I didn’t care. There was no sympathy or understanding for the things that were making me uncomfortable. And I was desperate for friendship and Justice was right there asking me for it. But after that, I’m not even kidding in the slightest when I say Des was picking fights with me about him multiple times a week, sometimes every other day. I only saw Justice one more time before the breakup (he met up with me and Des at a bar), we weren’t talking more than once every 2ish weeks, and I agreed to let Des see any text he sent me, so there were no secrets and I had nothing to hide. Any time a fight happened it was almost always because Des brought it up, or he told me to block him and i refused. More than once he tried to force me to pick between them but I also refused every time. Was this toxic of me? Probably. I’ll accept that if it was, but like I said. At the time I didn’t care

The final week we were together, on the night of Saturday, May 6th, I let Des look through my phone and he found out that back in December Justice had sent me a snap where he didn’t have a shirt on. It wasn’t sexual, and I’d seen him shirtless multiple times before but he was not wearing one. Des decided this was proof that Justice wanted to get me to cheat on Des, called him to confront him about it, which lead to me finally agreeing to block him. Monday night, May 8th, Des decided he was actually Not okay that this selfie was sent to me and he didn’t know about it, so we argued about it for several hours. Ending with him breaking up with me for the final time. The next day, Tuesday, I unblocked Justice and told him everything that happened. He offered himself as a shoulder to cry on, and that night we took a walk and talked for several hours, including how we were cool just being friends now and despite both being single weren’t going to do anything like we did 2 years ago. Then anyways Friday night that same week I see him again, we sleep together (and I’ve been seeing him pretty much every weekend since then) and I make the mistake of vague posting about on here. Des saw it and had a massive meltdown that resulted in him moving back to Arizona, and after that I have pretty much no idea what he’s been up to nor do I care

He’s reached out to me a few times since this happened but I haven’t really been interested in hearing him out, and I probably never will. Why did I stay for so long though? I don’t know. He wasn’t like that in the beginning, I loved him, and I thought he loved me too. And honestly I really didn’t want to admit to myself how fucked our relationship was. I didn’t want to believe he saw me like that even though I knew it deep down. And like I said, I’m a committed person, and I’m loyal to something I love even if it’s at my own detriment.

My ex may or may not see this, and I don’t particularly care if he does. I fully stand by everything I said here. But anyway, that’s pretty much the story, or at least as much of it as I could include without getting Too personal. I hope this didn’t sound too venty so, if anyone read this far thank you for that I really appreciate it 🖤🖤

we've been mutuals for ages and i think youre very neat (: i love how your appearance / presentation has changed over time. your music posting helped broaden my taste in music. im kinda nosy and sometimes want to ask you avout like whay happened with your previous relationship purely out of curiosity but it is So Deeply not my business so i would never. but mostly i think youre really cool and i hope you like your job (i cant remember if youre still in school for it, im also not totally sure how hairdressing stuff works) and am rooting for you (:

Hi 🖤🖤

I am still in school for hairstyling, but I’m sooooo close to being done I should graduate no later than February and will hopefully be able to take my state board exam by May!

Also I don’t mind talking about what happened with my ex, if I have time today I’ll make a post about it! I’ve been hesitant to say too much on the topic bc he was checking my tumblr for a while (he might still be, but I don’t particularly care at this point either), and would try and contact me when I posted about him. It is a very very long story but it’s not anything secret I’m open to questions abt it :-)

[ace-with--a-mace]

been at school a little less than a month and i already got a c in math 😐

[boldlyvoid]

ain't it fun?

summary: reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

warnings: Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Drug Addiction, Trauma Bonding, narcotics anonymous meetings, Strangers to Lovers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, meet-cute,

word count: 3.3K

a/n: this is completely self-indulgent and overly personal but i def recommend writing why spencer would love you as a form of therapy

read on ao3

In the blink of an eye, she was up and racing around her apartment. Her mental health was like a teeter-totter, and right now she was on her way to the top. Mania was creeping in; changing from just anxiety-induced butterflied to the feeling that she could jump off a building and survive.

That was never a good time. All she wanted was to either spend all her money, fuck a stranger or get high as shit. It made her legs jumpy and her ears ring and she couldn’t take it anymore. It was all too much.

She threw on a sweater and jeans, her hair was up in a butterfly clip and she hastily threw on her fanny pack full of everything she needed as well as a big coat, and she then left her apartment. She got to the stairs before realizing she actually needed to lock the door.

Her hands shook and she tried to slide the key into the lock, dropping them as her neighbour rushed out of the room and startled her. “Sorry,” she heard him say.

She picked up her keys and turned to look at him, “can you help me? I can’t seem to stop shaking,” she asked as she held her keys towards him.

“yes, sure,” he rushed the words out as he walked towards her, only looking at the keys, never in her eyes. But that was okay, she was never a big fan of eye contact.

He placed her keys back in her hand and took a step back, “are you alright?” he asked.

“No,” she said honestly. “I’m going to find an NA meeting.”

“Do you have one in the area? I haven’t seen you around before?”

She shook her head, surprised that he was also an addict, he didn’t look like he’s ever even smoked weed.

“No, I moved in only a little while ago on a whim, but I think it’s time I got some support,” she said as they started to walk down the hallway together. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

“Spencer,” he smiled softly. “I’m going to a meeting right now, actually, if you’d like to come? I won’t exactly be anonymous to you, but it’s a good one to go to if you just need one to fill the void until you find your preferred group.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I need.” She smiled at him this time as he held the door open for her. “So, have you lived around here for long?”

“For about a few years now.”

“The building is good then? I was a little hesitant but I needed to get away,” she said, this time holding the door for them to leave the building and turn down the street towards where she knew the subway was.

The moon should be out, she looked up but only sees buildings. It was the one thing she missed the most about not being in the country; seeing the stars and feeling like there was a reason to it all.

“Are you running from someone?” He asks as they start the walk down to the meeting.

“Myself,” she said softly. “I’m on disability and don’t drive and I lived in the middle of nowhere with my parents, well into my 20’s, and I needed a change so my parents surprised me by saving up money for a few month's rent and told me to follow my heart.”

“And you picked Virginia?”

“I stayed in Virginia, just moved into the city. I watch a lot of murder documentaries in my free time, I thought being near Quantico would introduce me to some interesting people, but I have yet to meet anyone from the FBI at all.”

She laughed to herself at how dumb it was that she wanted to meet a profiler like Holden Ford from Mindhunter, “either they are all very good at keeping their jobs secret or Virginia is a very large and densely populated area with a low percentage of FBI agents.”

“Interesting.”

“What?”

“How long have you lived here?” he asked, slowing as he walked so he could look at her.

“2 months.”

“It took you two months to meet the FBI agent across the hall from you.”

“You’re kidding?” she said, stopping on the sidewalk abruptly. “I knew that apartment was calling me for a reason.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but, are you really just coincidentally my neighbour or are you secretly spying on me because you have an evil plan to kill me and my co-workers?” he's completely serious, it's almost scary.

“No offence, Spence, but for a supposed FBI agent that’s a dumb question to ask,” she said, pointing finger guns at him, “you don’t think I’ll give up my cover that easily? Do you?”

He points a finger gun back at her, “technically, I’m a doctor.”

The two of them narrow their eyes at each other, slowly walking in a circle, still facing each other with their make-believe guns trying to hold back smirks. She lowered her ‘weapon’ first. “It’s okay, doctor, don’t worry. I’m not a spy just an idiot with an imagination.”

He giggled softly, “I’ve never felt this comfortable with someone this fast.”

“Well, you are with criminals a lot, right? That would be alarming if you bonded with them,” she said, bumping her shoulder into his as they walked. “But I feel the same. I actually haven’t talked to someone in person in forever.”

“No?”

“I do most of my work and socializing online,” She felt embarrassed, but in today’s day and age, it wasn’t that weird. “I’m not very good outside or with people.”

“If it wasn’t for my job, I don’t think I would go outside very often either. My co-workers are my only friends, they’re more like my family actually.”

“That’s so wonderful to hear, found family is very important,” her smile disappeared as she thought about how alone she was. “Um, can I ask what it is you do at the FBI?”

“Behavioural Analysis.”

“Holy shit," she gasps, knowing way too much about that unit thanks to fucking Netflix, "that’s what the BSU became right? Do you work with the really fucked up shit?” she asked softly.

He laughed, “oh yeah, I really do.”

“Do you share a lot at NA?”

“Kinda, I tend to ramble about facts when I’m nervous so sometimes my short talk becomes more like a ted talk and what was supposed to be just me saying I haven’t relapsed on Dilaudid becomes a lesson on how the human brain works,” he explained, rambling just like he said he would.

She nodded along as he spoke, “funny, that was also my drug of choice.”

“Liquid or oral?”

“Oral. I was given it after I had my appendix out when I was 17. They get you started real young now, big pharma has its hand in everyone's pocket,” she presses her lips together awkwardly, “it was rough.”

He hummed in agreement. “I was held captive by an unsub with multiple personalities. One personality drugged me till I died and the other one brought me back.”

“Spencer, Holy fuck?” she stopped and stared at him so incredibly concerned for someone who just met him. She reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder and looked him in the eyes, “I know I barely know you, but if you need someone to talk I’m literally always across the hall.”

“Thank you,” he smiled softly as he looked back into her eyes. “The meeting is right there across the street, do you want a coffee first? The place beside it is amazing.”

She nodded and he took her hand, looking both ways before J-walking across the street with her to buy her a coffee and a snack. Maybe that would help her stop shaking, he looked like he worried about her and she wasn't used to that at all.

He didn’t talk at this meeting, he sat in the chair beside the group leader, she sat down across from him in the circle so she could focus. When the floor was opened up to new members, Y/N stood at the first chance she got.

“Hi I’m Y/N,” she said, to which she was welcomed by the crowd.

“I’m new to the city and looking for a new home group, not sure if I’ll stay here because I know Spencer outside of here but I really just needed to come today.”

She takes a deep breath as she thinks of how to start it, opting to just explain it and let the rant go where it may.

“I’ve never lived alone before and it’s incredibly hard to occupy my time without drugs. I still smoke weed to help me sleep at night but my addiction is with Dilaudid and then Benadryl a little after having surgery in high school. I don’t know if it’s my trauma, my disability or my Autism, maybe it’s my OCD, I really don’t know, but I just feel so useless and alone and boring and lonely, the drugs used to help but they don’t anymore and I really just don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

They all looked like they understood, small smiles grew all around the circle as she took a lookout at the crowd, “Thank you for letting me get that out.”

Everyone clapped as she sat back down and wiped a tear off her cheek.

The meeting ended shortly after that, Spencer walked from his seat in the circle to where she was sitting, reaching a hand out to help her to her feet. “For the record, I think you’re funny, smart, kind and pretty. And you don’t have to be alone anymore if you don’t want to be.”

She slapped her hand into his and stood up with purpose, “Did we just become best friends?”

“I believe we did.”

The walk home was much like the walk there. They traded facts, they flirted, they laughed, she pushed him into a pole at one point, by accident as they laughed. The two of them stopping to sit at a bus bench, laughing so hard she felt like she would pee her pants right then and there.

By the time they were back on their floor, it was well after midnight. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to meetings with you.”

“Oh, why?” he looked disappointed.

“Isn’t rule 13 that you’re not supposed to want to sleep with your group members when you’re healing?”

“Wanting to and doing it are two very different things,” he corrected her as he waited at his own door.

She smirked, “you’re right. Still don’t think I can go back with you, however.”

“I’ll probably have a case tomorrow, they normally take me out of town for at least a week, but when I get back, can I see you?” he asked lightly.

“Knock on my door when you get back,” she said before standing on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. “See you.”

“Bye.”

They waved from their doors before departing, excited by something that felt better than drugs.

—

120 hours later there was a light knock at her door, she knows exactly how long it’s been because she’s been counting and looking out the door at every noise for the whole time he’s been gone. Waiting for him like a wife whose husband went off to war, not knowing when their next correspondence would be.

“Coming,” she called, stopping to fluff her hair and straighten her glasses before she opened the door.

“Spencer!”

“Hi,” he said softly.

She took a moment to look him over, a little in shock at what she saw. He was in a plain t-shirt and track pants, he had not one, but two black eyes, bandages on his brow bone and scrapes all along his arms.

“Are you okay?”

“You should see the other guy,” he giggled softly, rolling his eyes.

“Come in, let’s sit you down.” She worried, taking him by the elbow and helping him inside.

“I’m fine, really, I’m used to this.”

“Well I’m not,” she reminded him with a nervous pout, “am I allowed to ask about it or is it classified stuff?”

He sat on the couch and patted a seat beside himself so she would join him. He rested his arm against the back of the chair so that she could slide in beside him.

“Did you hear about the child abduction in Tampa?”

“Yeah? The two boys?”

“I was trying to talk the unsub down and he dropped the gun but he grabbed me as I turned him around and punched me in the face and we fell into the ditch and I luckily managed to flip over him and get his hands behind his back and cuffed faster than I ever have before.”

“You’re amazing,” she whispered.

He laughed, “if I really was, I would have waited for backup before talking to the guy.”

“I’ve always wanted to help other people get justice but not being able to go to school makes it hard to get a job doing anything meaningful,” she whispered, ashamed of the fact she wasn’t successful like most people her age.

“Our technical analyst was hired because she was an amazing hacker, they will hire anyone who is valuable.” He shrugs and watches her face light up at the idea.

“You know what, we have meetings all this week unless there’s an emergency, if you want I can show you around the office?” he offered. “It’s not illegal for you to pass by what I’m working on and notice something I missed.”

“Spencer, I don’t even know your last name and you’re inviting me to your government job? When just last week you asked, not so jokingly, if I was a secret agent trying to kill you and that you’ve been kidnapped before?”

“Doctor Spencer Reid, and what can I say?” he said shyly, “I’m trying to find excuses to see you smile all the time.”

She placed her hand on his cheek, the tips of her fingers lightly resting on his purple and yellow bruised eyes. She leaned in slowly and kissed him on the lips, so gently as if she’s afraid he’ll break or turn into a frog… he was too good to be true.

“You can see me whenever you want, Doctor Spencer Reid…”

He kissed her again, letting his hands roam her back and she trailed her free hand down his chest. She pulled back slightly to throw a leg over him carefully and sit in his lap. Holding his face in her hands now, she peppered kisses over his bruised face.

She stopped to look at him, still holding his face in her hands as his hands now rested on her hips. “I really like you, Spencer.”

“Really?”

She looks at him carefully, analyzing his response and seeing the hurt that rested deep inside of him, “I take it you’re like me?”

“What does that mean?”

“You try to not get too involved with people because no one has ever shown you true genuine interest or love, and you never think you’ll find it anyway so you push away all small acts of kindness, thinking it’s friendly because then you can’t get your hope up, just to have that person drop them?” she explained herself in a whisper.

He nodded, “you get it.”

She kissed his lips again, and then over his cheek and up to his ear, “I do.”

He looked extra sad when she pulled away, she just held his face gently as she mirrored his puppy dog eyes. Communicating with their eyes, she knew he was okay and he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so she smiled.

“Want to watch a movie?” She asks softly.

He nods, looking behind her to see she doesn’t have a tv in the living room. “How?”

“In my room, the TV is on my dresser if you don’t mind sitting in my bed?”

He shakes his head in a simple no, picking her up and taking her to her room. He knew where it was purely because her apartment was just his but backwards. She laughs, holding onto him tight as she rests her head on his shoulder.

He sets her down gently, watching her move up to the headboard and wait for him. They got under the blankets and she found the remote in the sheet before she cuddled into him.

“You’re really cuddly,” she complimented him as he wrapped an arm around her and held her close. He kissed the top of her head as a thank you.

“I think I’m going to end up falling in love with you, Spencer Reid,” she whispers the words, afraid of them more than his response.

“I beat you to it,” he whispers right back.

She shoots up, turning to look at him with surprise. “How?”

He looks at her like she grew two heads, “what do you mean how?”

“How did you fall in love with me? You don’t even know me?” She’s so confused, no one has ever loved her before and it’s a lot to take in.

“Y/N…” his face drops, his heart physically breaks in front of her. “I don’t know you, you're right. Not all of you, at least. I’m sure you have your hidden doors and locked cupboards but from the outside, I see you’re so beautiful, you’re radiant… your mind is lovely. You’re so kind, you’re so brave, you’re everything I wish I could be as charismatically as you are.”

She’s just swallowing over and over as she shakes her head and breathes through her nose, processing it. She’s breathing deeply then, staring off and she feels like she’s having a new kind of panic attack. A happier one, somehow?

“I don’t like myself, but if you like me I guess I must be pretty nice,” she smiles, accepting his praise and believing him. “Yeah. Thank you, Spencer.”

He smiles then, it’s cute and press-lipped and she swears he almost has dimples. His eyes are like honey and his lips are like roses. She leans in, kissing him and reaching a hand back to cup the nape of his neck.

He doesn’t know it, but he’s the first person she’s kissed in a few years. They’re soft, peck after peck as they hold each other softly, eyes open as they watch each other experience the happiness of finding someone good, finally.

“I uh, I wanted to tell you I’m almost exactly everything you described yourself as in the meeting,” he whispers against her lips, the air touching her skin gently as she absorbs the words.

“What part? My diagnosis or my self-hatred?” She smiles, okay with either really.

“Almost both, I’m pretty hard to be around.”

She shakes her head, “I invited you in for a movie, not a pity party. You can tell me everything you hate right now and then we should just share the good parts okay? Brag about yourself. Tell me what you’re proud of.”

She was really serious, keeping a stern look on her face as she spoke. He nodded, “I’m anxious all the time, I’m always worried because I’ve never had anyone to worry about me. I don’t know how to be a real person really, all I do is drink coffee and solve crimes and I barely sleep. And the only time I was relaxed and okay is when I was on drugs.”

She nodded, “it fucking sucks, doesn’t it? Like why did we get stuck like this, I don't care about peaking in high school but didn’t we deserve some kind of love and support? I’ve never understood if souls and shit are real, why did mine pick this terrible meat suit and awful traumatic path?”

She’s crying because she’s angry and because she’s never said it to anyone before. He cries because she understands. She truly knows.

“I love you,” he announces. “Just because of that.”

Taglist: @blanchardsbk @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor

[crimsonwolfie]

A Love Like In The Movies - Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Prompt: You (the reader) have had a crush on Stiles, your best friend, since forever. Only...he likes the popular girl, Lydia...or so you thought.

Warnings: tinges of sadness, loneliness and a hint of heartbreak...but a ton of fluff :)

Word count: 3,071

masterlist

You tug at your bag, shoving about 3 books in at once in an attempt to be out of class as soon as the bell rings. Walking with your head down and hands clasping your bag up, you harshly bump into the new kid Henry, knocking him to the floor along with all his books and your papers....clearly you never remembered why your nickname was ‘Wobbly Whittmore’.

“Oh my gosh, i’m so sorry!” You utter with one hand on your mouth and the other helping him up off the floor. He stares up at you with a dazed look and a small smirk, watching you help scramble up his papers and books.

“It’s chill, don’t worry”

You look up at him with a shy smile, clearly embarrassed for your clumsiness. “It’s not, honestly i’m so sorry. You haven’t even been here for a week and already you’ve been practically beaten up..” you shake your head “that usually happens at least 3 months in” you wink at him, laughing lightly. Henry laughs back whilst collecting more papers from the floor.

As you both sigh, your hands collide briefly. It was just for a moment...but it made you feel something. At first it was shock, but then something you’ve wanted to feel for so long...just with someone else...Stiles. Henry’s eyes dart up at you, his cheeks heating up slightly.

“I...sorry i should get going” he quickly adverts his gaze and gets up, picking up what’s in his hands “how many people can say they’ve encountered the nice Whittmore in their first week, huh?”

“Oh god you know about my brother already?” you huff, handing him his books “Some friendly advice since you’re obviously a decent guy...stay far away from him.” You laugh, once again feeling embarrassed for being related to...well...Jackson.

“Yeah he has a...well...a reputation so to speak. Thanks again, see you around, Y/N”

“Later Henry!”

Walking through the halls you can’t help but think of Stiles. He’s adorable, cute, beautiful, funny, smart, geeky but in the best way, kind, gentle...the list quite literally goes on forever. But in all the time you’ve known him...he’s always liked Lydia. The girl who your brother used to date. Since they broke up, Stiles has never been so smitten. Sure, she’s gorgeous and actually really nice...but she’s who he likes...she’s not you. I mean, you never know...he could like you. You’ve never actually mentioned it to him. But then if you do, and he turns you down, you’d be crushed... completely!

“Hey Y/N!” Stiles appears from around the corner of the lockers, making you jump a little.

“Jesus Stiles, don’t do that!” You hiss as you hold your hand over your heart. He throws his head back giggling. ‘God how cute he looks when he’s happy’ the little voice in your head says.

“You up for a movie marathon after school? I got your favourites...” he moves closer

“Harry Potter?!” You squeal, clapping your hands together 

“Only the best for the best” he smiles with all teeth showing. You silently fist pump the air as he holds his hand out for you to high five him, which you do. Your hands hover in the air, skin hot to the touch, until he breaks apart and places his hands in his pockets.

“I’ll go and find Scott and ask if he’s in. Knowing him, he’ll want to bring Allison and with Allison comes...”

“Lydia” you sigh

“Yes! She’s just so brilliant, isn’t she?” Stiles hummed, his face cheeky and merry like a child eating ice cream. You tried to hide the hurt with a faint smile, because seeing Stiles so happy just warmed your heart. You didn’t want to be the one to ruin it.

“What’s up Y/N/N?” Stiles’ smile faded into a frown, concern painted across his perfectly honeyed eyes. Seeing this, you can practically feel your heart drop.

You fiddle with the rings on your fingers as your soft Y/H/C hair slips in front of your face. “What? No...nothing. Rough day that’s all-”

“HEY Y/N” You look up to see Henry running towards you with one arm stretched out towards you, the other holding his bag strap. “You left this, when we spoke earlier” he hands you a pile of papers, all with your name on.

“Oh, my god...I’d be totally screwed if I didn’t have this for tomorrow’s math class. I’m so sorry. They must have got mixed up with your papers” you take the papers out of his hand and shove them into your bag, smiling shyly at both boys staring at you. “Thanks Henry, you saved my math grade” you laugh, causing Henry to blush and bite his lip ever so subtly, placing his hand on your arm and squeezing it playfully.

“No worries, Y/N. I’ll see you around” he winks at you, earning a frown from Stiles. 

“Who’s that geezer?” He remarks, his face furrowed with a mix of both dislike and anger. Little did you know, Stiles didn't like seeing other guys flirt with you. He began to feel this deep pit in his stomach, his blood beginning to boil. 

You turn to face Stiles, pushing your hair back behind your ear. Sheepishly you pat him on the shoulder “i’ll see you at 3? Parking lot?”

“Yeah, sure.” He replies hesitantly, fidgeting with the rim of his flannel. You notice something’s got him wound up but decide it’s probably just him nervous to spend time with Lydia and continue to walk down the hall, making your way to health class.

━━━━━━━━

All throughout the rest of your classes for the day, you just felt empty. Nothing but heartbreak, emptiness, loneliness. Thoughts of him and Lydia snuggling up in blankets whilst eating popcorn and watching the movie kept bubbling around your brain. You tried to snap out of it, but nothing would work. You thought about just cancelling on the meet after school, knowing it would be way less painful. ‘They probably wouldn’t even notice I'm gone’ you thought. Your mind was like a prison that you couldn't escape...

“this must have been what Sirius Black felt like for 12 years” you mutter under your breath, not caring who heard. Sounds of faint chattering, pencils scribbling and the monotone voice of Mrs Rawlings can be heard around you, but none of it distracts your train of thoughts. Just begging for some sort of peace, you crash your head into your arms on the table.

“Hey, Y/N” you felt a gentle nudge on your forearm and look up to see Scott staring down at you, his hand on your arm. “What’s up with you dude? And who’s Sirius Black?”

You sigh with an overly dramatic eye roll, unwillingly plucking up enough strength to say once again that you’re ‘fine just a bit tired that’s all’...

“Tired.” is all you can spit out before shoving your head back into your arms. Little did you know, Scott could sense what you were feeling...I mean you didn't lie - he sensed tiredness...just mentally. Along with hurt, pain and loneliness.

“You sure? Well maybe after school you’ll feel better. Say, d’you reckon Allison likes...I don’t know...flowers? I... I was going to get her a bunch before I pick her up to go to Stiles’” You felt your tears drop into your sleeves, soaking both your jumper and your face as Scott continued. “Do girls like flowers? I’d ask Lydia but I'm closer with yo...”

“Yeah flowers whatever.” you mutter without lifting your head up. Scott scrunched his face, his brows furrowing. Usually, you were so much more supportive and excited for him - heck you were even more excited than him when you found out about him and Allison! You guys always told each other everything. ‘Something is definitely going on’ he thought to himself. He decided it was best to not say much more right now since he was already on a report in Mrs Rawlings’ class.

Just as Scott was about to hand you a note in class, the final bell rang. Instantly you popped up and grabbed your books, practically sprinting out of the door. Scott tried to stop you, but was called behind class by the teacher. You knew he was going to follow you, that's why you ran. No matter what, he couldn't see you like this, otherwise he wouldn’t drop it and would demand to know who hurt you - how could you tell him it was his own best friend?! As you’re jogging, you bump into the one person you wanted to avoid...

“Woah, slow down there cowgirl” Stiles holds your shoulders with his hands, his grip firm and comforting. He takes one look at you and notices your wet, blotchy eyes. You hang your head low in an attempt to hide your face from him...clearly it doesn't work.

“Hey, hey, hey! What’s up? Who hurt you?! his smile fades drastically upon seeing the state you were in. Obviously you weren't going to tell him, so you just decide to make up something...

“I failed my health class for the semester”

“Y/N it’s not the end of the world, you can always retake!” he sighs

You turn over to him with your hands in the air, shaking your head. “No you don’t un...you know what, Stiles? I can’t come over later. I’m sorry.” 

He steps back in surprise, both hands leaving your shoulders and grabbing his bag straps around his arms. Suddenly, you feel angry at him...though you instantly regret snapping at him. “i...I’m sorry” is all you can stutter as you run out the door, leaving Stiles standing there wondering what he did wrong, for what felt like hours, until Scott saw him.

“dude what're you doing? We got a marathon to start” he smacks Stiles on the back full pelt, leaving Stiles to stumble a bit.

“Have you spoken to Y/N today?” he asks, his voice trembly, quiet.

“Of course I have. Why, haven’t you?” The alpha replies

“No I have, it’s just...she was upset and i tried to help but she just...” he trails off   as Scott steps closer, Stiles’ eyes dull.

“She just what?” he asks, his voice calm and gentle

“She said she failed health class...”

“Wait, no that's not true - I got pulled behind class today because Mrs Rowlings wants me to have a tutor for health class and suggested Y/N since she’s acing everything!?” Scott explained. Stiles jerked his head, brows furrowing once again.

“Wait what?” his hand flew to his forehead as he leaned against the lockers beside him. “She snapped at me. I think I did something, Scotty...but I don’t know what. She’s been distant for a while now ever since Jackson and Lydia broke up, and I mean I know that her brother hates us but I just didn't think Y/N would choose her brother over us or me and i...”

“Stiles, stop.” Scott grabs both of Stiles’ shoulders and makes direct eye contact with him. “Listen, okay? I think I know what’s up”

“You do?” Stiles’ eyes brightened insantly. He knew something was wrong with his best friend and he knew he would do anything to fix that.

“She likes you, dude. Really likes you. And I thought you would have figured that out by now...she’s always doodling your name in class and covers it whenever someone passes by. Plus, she talks about you all the time.” Scott understood why you had been distant, and he didn’t blame you.

Stiles’s cheeks flushed a bright shade of red as a smile began appearing. His heart started pounding quicker than Quicksilver in the X-Men films, butterflies swarming around his stomach and ribcage. “Seriously? Then why is she distancing herself from me?”

“Because she still thinks you’re in love with Lydia...her heartbeat quickens when she’s with you, or when you guys touch in some way” Scott’s tone becomes more serious, which is unusual for Scott. Typically, he’s always goofy around Stiles so clearly he meant what he was about to say next... “But when you’re with Lydia, her mood changes. I can sense it...It’s sort of sad, lonely...” his face melts just thinking of all the times he’s felt that same pain. “You gotta tell her how you feel, Stiles. Tonight.”

“But I can’t...she’s not coming!” Stiles replies with a croaky voice.

“Then you go to her!” Scott replies, his eyes wide with hope and his hands pressing on Stiles’ back, pushing him towards the door “go now, dude!” Stiles picks up his pace and jogs to the door, one hand gripping his bag strap and the other fiddling with his keys in his pocket. “And let me know how it goes” Scott shouts as Stiles leaves the building.

━━━━━━━━

As you reach your front door, you feel a tear trickle down your cheek. All you could think of was Stiles. How he would, at this moment, be snuggling and giggling with Lydia. You have nothing against her, in fact you are actually really fond of her, but it breaks your heart to know you aren't the one who can make the boy you love, fall for you. A pain runs through your chest as you slam the door shut, your breathing wheezing. Leaning against the door, you slide down...completely breaking down.

“Why doesn’t he look at me that way?” you mutter to yourself, head in arms as your cheeks soak into your sleeves. “All I've ever done is try and make him happy, try and make him realise how incredible he is...and he still doesn't see me the same way”

Nose sniffling, eyes red, head fuzzy, hands shaking and top wet...you get up. ‘You did the best thing. It was the right decision to stay home’ you think, knowing it would have just ruined your friendship if you told him how you felt. And anyway, you wanted him to be happy. And clearly, that wasn't with you...

You ran upstairs and changed into a comfy pair of joggers and an oversized top, chucking your slippers on and grabbing a blanket before heading back downstairs. If you couldn't join their movie night - you’d have your own! 

Snacks and a drink were sitting on the table beside you on the sofa, with the television on ready and curtains closed. Just as you had got yourself in a comfy position, the doorbell rang. You grunted, kicking the blanket off your legs and dragging yourself towards the front door. Opening it, you felt your breath escape you. It was Stiles, standing at the door, with a bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hands. His hair was messy as if he’d run his fingers through it a thousand times, his cheeks were flushed brighter and pinker than bubblegum, looking as if he was out of breath from rushing somewhere. You go to say something, but before you had the chance, Stiles speaks, “Hi! I uh....I didn’t know whether you were mad at me or whether you were just having a rough day but it seemed like you were mad at me so I wanted to see if you were okay and uh...I got you these” His arms stretched to give you the flowers, his face ridden with nerves. You looked down at the flowers and then back up to Stiles’ face.

“Why would you think i was mad at you?” You questioned, brows furrowing at the confusion of what was happening. “These are gorgeous, thanks Stiles” you coo with a smile on your face, taking the flowers from Stiles’ hands. As you grab them, your hands touch Stiles’, causing your cheeks to flush and your heart to flutter. Stiles’ own cheeks flushed at the touch of your hands, too.

“You seem distant with me lately. And Scott told me why...” he begins, fingers fidgeting with the rim of his checkered shirt “I like Lydia...” he trails off.

Upon hearing these words, you feel your heart drop. Mouth dry and sadness creeping into your mind, you feel clouded with emotions and thoughts. Why would Stiles come over, give you flowers and then declare his love for Lydia? “Yeah I kno...” you begin until he cuts you off,

“She’s my friend. And she’s amazing...but she doesn’t wait for me after classes. She doesn’t call me to check in once in a while. She doesn’t do anything in her power to make sure I'm happy or know I'm loved...” his beautiful brown eyes stared lovingly into yours, your heart lifting and beating faster with each sentence he says...

“She doesn’t know me, and I mean the real me...the one who suffers with anxiety, who needs a nightlight and needs constant reassurance on even the simplest things” you smirk at the mention of a nightlight because, well, you were the one who actually got it for him...because you knew he wasn't doing too good. “She is my friend, Y/N, but she isn’t my best friend. And I like her, but I don’t love her...because I love you. It’s always been you”

There’s a soft wind that blows between you both, causing you to shiver and shake with both excitement and chills. Stiles’ eyes glittered in the sunlight like an ocean surface in summer, tears welling in them. You bit your lip which trembled with an overcoming emotion of happiness as you leant forward and grabbed him, cupping his face in your soft hands and bringing your lips to his in a desperate yet passionate way. Feelings of euphoria and desire filled both of your hearts like a fire burning bright, lips moving sweetly in sync as in destined for one another. His hands wrap around your waist as you bring your hands through his hair. Nothing felt more perfect than this moment...all your worries gone and your heart fuller than ever before because the boy who holds your heart, who has held your heart for years, is finally in your arms. Stiles’ warmth radiates onto your cheeks as you smile into the kiss, earning a smile from Stiles, too. Breaking away to breathe, you both look down and giggle, hands intertwining with Stiles rubbing circles on your palm with his thumb.

You look up at him, smiling, as you speak “I...I love you too”. Stiles coos as he pulls you closer to him to break the gap now between you both, “I gathered” he laughs, kissing the top of your forehead affectionately. “So, how about that marathon?”

Hope you guys like it! x

[twatshag]

"Can I ask you something?"

♤ In which haikyuu boys ask you personal questions ♤

Pairings: iwaizumi x reader, osamu x reader, kuroo x reader All gn!!

Warnings: mentions of death(not the characters), suggestive topics, mentions of daddy issues, mention of past troubles, insecurities, mentions of exs cheating, crying

Genre: fluff, slightly angsty but still fluffy.

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: In honour of mental health month I wanted to write this piece to make you guys feel loved by the boys ! You are loved and cared for and as much as I hated hearing it but things WILL get better. Stay strong I want you to fight.- Kira

—----------------------------------------------—

Miya Osamu

You and your boyfriend were cuddling against one another in your bed it was a routine you both loved doing on your free days. Basking in each others warmth while talking about your days and what the future holds.

Osamu's laugh rang through the bedroom walls while he played with your hair. "And then she literally drops her cake right onto my laptop and it freakin' broke it!!" "Ma god angel was tha cake that hard?" "You have no idea how much I wanted to punch her for one, baking a cake that was literally so hard if I ate a rock it would've been softer and two for breaking my freaking laptop !".

Osamu chuckled once again as he kissed your forehead and you frowning because of how can he find the awful events that you've been dealing with all week funny at all.

"There there angel A don't want ya getting forehead wrinkles from frowning too hard ya know." He chuckled while poking your ticklish sides earning a slap on his hand. "Jeez I think I'd literally cry if I ever got them." Osamu smiled against your hairline as the conversation came to a halt maybe this was the right moment to ask what he's been thinking about all week he thought.

"Angel can a ask you something?". You tilted your head to look at him while he gazed right back at you while popping an eyebrow at his question "is your question going to be 'can ya help me get off?' ? Because your answer is no."

Osamu chuckled and rolled his eyes at your so bold statement just a while back in your relationship you'd be blushing profusely if he made any type of suggestive comment wondering what happened to his innocent S/o.

"Nah angel I'm serious here". Noticing his serious features you decided to nod and see what he has to say.

Gulping he decided to ask away. "What made ya believe in love again? Ya know after yer ex had cheated on ya?" Your eyes widened at his sudden question earning a worried panicked look from him. Looking around the room to avoid this awkward situation he put himself into "Y-ya dont hafta answer ya know A- a Just couldn't-" "you."

His eyes met yours with a dumb founded expression you deciding to continue on since there was no backing down now. I mean you always knew that one day he'd ask you about it but it still made you sink a bit when he did.

"I mean sure of course there would be times where you smelled different or something and I'd panic or times you got so many notifications on your phone and i'd let my past get the better of me and snoop but after 3 months of dating, you told me something that just healed everything I've been through."

You smiled at him and he looked back at you with a curious look to what his so called healing words were.

"You told me you loved me. And I know that sounds so stupid" you laughed heavily releasing the lump in your throat.

"But the way you looked at me was like an unspoken promise to never hurt me like he did." You shrugged smiling at him and burying your face against his chest.

Osamu was dumbfounded by your response sure he knew he might be the reason but confirmation doesnt make the love sick smug grin on his face and the warmth rising to it any less effective.

He held you as tight as he can. "God angel ya really know how to get a man flustered say how bout ya help me get o-" "no" "Angelllllllllllll" you scoffed at him and hit his chest. "Shut up and sleep Miya" to which he laughed at the sound of his last name even when you were upset and you addressed him by his last name he can't help but smile at how beautiful it sounded coming from you. "Yer breaking ma heart here angel don't make me take yer cuddling rights." Chuckling as your grip around him tightened and drifting off to sleep together while he played with your hair.

Making mental note to always be the one who heals you forever because you were the one who healed him too and God did he love you so much for everything that you did.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Today was your regular late night drive throughs and talks about your life while stuffing your face with fast food with your beefy athletic trainer boyfriend.

As you brought the sandwich to your mouth and took a big bite you moaned at the heavenly taste earning a chuckle from the green eyed man next to you.

"Can't believe I'm not the one who's making you moan that way but a sandwich."

You rolled your eyes at his snarky comment while stuffing your mouth with the sandwich "shushth up iwa-chanth".

"Jeez who knew romance was dead L/n and I told you stop calling me that and don't speak with a mouth full last time you did you had to clean my car seat" he laughed earning an intensive glare his way from you.

You swallowed and thought about a good come back for a second. "I wasn't the one who threw up in my cup holder was I? Iwaaa-chaaaannnn" making sure to drag the annoying nickname out just to tease him.

He rolled his eyes at you "you're such a brat, doll and you know how I can't deal with spicy food who's fault was that?" You laughed "oh shut up, you loved me for the after care you got Hajime." "I'll think about it."

Smacking his chest lightly as you both laughed into the night.

Should I ask ? I really don't want to pry. I mean it's been weeks since they've told me about it and I dont want them to feel alone maybe I shouldn't ask them iwaizumi thought to himself while staring at the sandwich in his hands. But before he could decide he was snapped back to reality by your voice "not hungry Haji?" Before he could settle on a decision the words have already come out of his mouth.

"Doll can I ask you something?" You raised an eye brow at his sudden serious tone and you nodded "of course, anything haji-baby" feeling the atmosphere turn tense you decided to pull out the favourite nick name card and he smiled nervously.

"Do you miss her?" You felt your heart sink. Your friend had gotten into an accident talking with her boyfriend while driving resulting them in a critical state which lead to them passing away. You smiled weakly.

"Yes I do.." he stared at you worried that he might've crossed a line or broke a boundary but before he could overthink you opened your mouth to speak again.

"But you know, my care taker always told me something that always stuck to me about death. They said Nobody dies before age" he frowned confusingly. "What do you mean?" He asked eager to know what your statement meant.

"It means that when a person passes away they've served their purpose and they accomplished what they wanted to on earth so they go into their next step. A life even better than what they've gotten." You gazed at him smiling of course it hurt, alot but your friend was very successful and very happy when you went to the funeral and walked up to her casket the way she lied there was a peaceful sight. Slight smile on her face despite her body being cold.

As much as it hurt saying good bye you couldn't help but smile at how happy she looked to earn peace of an even better life in the next. Leaving her pain behind her.

Iwaizumi reached to hold your hand thinking he couldn't possibly be more in love how foolish he thought.

"You're really strong you know that?" You laughed heavily squeezing his hand while a few tears slipped out of your eyes. "Its a part of life you know its just it always hurts when they leave but it makes me at ease knowing that something better is out there for them."

You looked up at your boyfriend who was tearing up in front of you exchanging silent smiles and promises to never be sad when anything happens to you both individually because at the end of the day the light at the end of the tunnel is always brighter than the start.

Kissing in the dead of night as a confirmation to what you both were thinking and agreeing to your promise. While he held you in his arms remembering to always make you feel better because even though his job was draining coming home to you and embracing you was something that always, always made him feel better. Hoping that it would be your cure as well.

Kuroo Tetsuro

"Kitten! Come help me with this!" Kuroo whined as he was trying to hang up the drawn portrait of your pet dog on the wall. Today was just a normal lazy day in the kuroo & L/n household. "Tetsu- stop whining can't you see I'm busy here" you rolled your eyes at your 6'2 pouting boyfriend who's suddenly bad at everything he can do alone knowing damn well he just uses it as an excuse to be close to you.

Despite what everyone thought of Kuroo he sure was the clingy type in fact if you got up to the bathroom during the night he'd whine about how you don't love him anymore because you left his arms.

Walking over to you trying to put the portrait into different frames you had placed on the floor deciding which one would look the best on the wall. He crouched down to your level and hugged you from behind while resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Kitten don't use that sassy tone with me I'm still your senpai chibi-chan." You giggled and rolled your eyes at his silly nickname "you know that it's been 5 years since high school right ?" He smirked at you and kissed your neck earning a whimper from you at the warm sensation. "But you're still my chibi-chan" "whatever you say captain"

you smiled at his warmth while sliding the portrait out of the frame you put it in. "Say chibi-chan, why don't you start calling me captain in bed?" You looked at him with the best deadpan expression you could make while he wiggled his eyebrows at you as a way to say 'whatcha think???' "No". You answered back.

you stood up grabbing the frame you thought fit best on the wall and he followed you like a lost puppy "oooohhh come on chibi-chan, how would that hurt? You refused to call me daddy you know!" You laughed at his annoying smug grin and rolled your eyes at his pouty face.

"I'm not calling you captain testu- besides why isn't testu enough for you? Sex is supposed to be intimate why would I call you something that I don't like thinking about." You chuckled,

but he knew better than anyone that your chuckle wasn't because you thought it was funny but because you were hiding the slight pain in your voice.

If you had anything common with kuroo it was that your home wasn't as perfect either. Your father was indeed home and he lived with you guys but if he wasn't it would've probably been for the better. And he knew about that.

"Kitten can I ask you something?" You rolled your eyes thinking this was going to be another bribe for you to call him some nick name during sexual intercourse but decided to play along. "Aye aye captain ask away." Popping the cardboard open to place the portrait inside the decided frame you heard him swallow and he opened his mouth to talk.

"Is it because of him?" You almost dropped the portrait from your hands. Grip hardening on the piece of paper in your hold.

You looked at him sadness reflecting your eyes trying to hide it behind your weak smile. You nodded. "Yeah. It is".

You didn't notice how your hand started shaking becoming angry and over rushed with every negative emotion in your body tears swelling up your eyes not noticing how your boyfriend was already by your side placing the paper you held so tightly on to the side while pulling you in to his chest and relaxing as you softened against him.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that." You sniffles against shaking your head. "No it's okay, it's just.." he placed his hand on your head tracing his thumb against your hair lightly something that always soothed you when your sad.

"I just don't want to remember him, You know and I still feel like it's my fault that he's the way he is, maybe if I-" "no."

Kuroo cut you off by lifting your chin up to look at him worry and pain plastered onto his face. How can anyone hurt you he thought.

"It's not your fault kitten, if anything he's the asshole. You didn't deserve him and his shitty behaviour if I was in his place I would've made sure to protect you even from myself."

You laughed while he wiped your tears and you leaned to his touch "you just made this sound gross testu" he chuckled and pulled you into his chest once again allowing you to hear his racing heart that only raced for you.

"guess I'm gross for making my kitten laugh while crying" you giggled wrapping your arms tightly around him, enjoying his warmth and love for a few seconds before mumbling. "Captain sounds nice.." giggling to yourself and suddenly yelping as he picked you up bridal style and kissing your lips making his way to the bedroom

"Tetsu put me down!!! We still didn't hang the portrait yet!!" He chuckled as you squirmed in his hold "nope I'm sure the portrait could wait right now I have to take this new nickname for a test drive" as he closed the door to the bedroom leaving you and your worries behind.

You knew that at the end of the day kuroo would never hurt you. Unless it's in bed but that's beside the point.. he truly loved you and while you laid in his arms that night completely bare he vowed to himself to always protect you. Even if that meant from himself.

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: I hope that you guys enjoyed this piece dedicated to mental health month! Please don't ever doubt your feelings they are valid and you have every right to feel the way you feel thank you all for being the way you guys are ! Much love to everyone! Stay strong

P.S: ILL UPDATE AS SOON AS I GET MY REQUESTS OPEN!!!

- with love kira

—----------------------------------------------—

[shinsorokiri]

S/O Loses Memory and Quirk

Todoroki, Bakugou, and Kirishima HCs

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of stab wounds and blood, a panic attack, spoiler for Bakugou’s hero name, sad bois

A/N: So I had two requests that mentioned these three with this concept and I just finished all of them and I’m so proud that I wanted to post these ones before the other two for Denki and All Might were finished but I’ll get those out as soon as possible. I cried writing Bakugou’s, so... there’s that HAHA please enjoy!

Here’s the first one with Shinsou, Aizawa, Hawks, and Dabi!

Todoroki Shouto | Shouto

Shouto knows you’re a strong woman and that he doesn’t need to constantly be there to protect you

But he does prefer to be there if something bad is happening 

The only problem is that you two went to two different agencies after graduating 

And in doing so were on opposite sides of the city

Now he always knew when something was happening on your hero route because I mean

He actually needs to in case something bad happens since it’s his JOB

But he also just really wants to be there for you if you really need it

There hasn’t been a time like that, though

So imagine his utter shock and genuine fear when that time came

He was told to go to where you were patrolling because you’d been attacked and wound up in the hospital 

You know the scene with the flame tear? Yeah that but times ten

He goes on patrol like a good little hero

But boy oh BOY did he just want to go to the hospital

You’d never lost a fight before

Not even against him

Your quirk was literally the most powerful quirk he’s ever seen and I mean like, yeah, sure, he might be biased but STILL you were really powerful

So what kind of villain could hurt you so bad you had to go to the hospital???

Luckily, he only had an hour left of patrolling 

And as soon as that hour was up

Mans bolted

He was OFF

He ran into that hospital 

And he politely asked where your room was

Because although he’s PANICKING he still is a little socially awkward sweetie and he doesn’t wanna be a dick to anyone and be labeled similar to his father no no NO

But as soon as he got the number he was sprinting man

He was so worried

All patrol he was quieter than usual

And he was ridiculously anxious the whole time

His palms were sweaty

He felt like he could throw up at any second

And right now

He thought his heart was about to beat out of his chest

He carefully opens the door

You might be sleeping, he has to be considerate

And sure enough he sees your unconscious form laying in a hospital bed

It looked like you had some broken bones, and multiple bruises and cuts which means someone must have beat the shit out of you

Lovely

That’s what he needed to see

Definitely 

Mans doesn’t show emotion that much

But when it comes to you and since it was just you and him in the room

He broke down crying

He couldn’t help it

He grabbed your hand

And just sat there crying

Poor guy can’t lose you

You were the best thing that ever happened to him 🥺

You showed him that it was okay to feel things and express those things and let people in

He let you in and he couldn’t let you go now

He was a genuine mess for the next couple of weeks

Because you weren’t waking up

He went against what Midoriya said and asked around about what happened to you

And what he heard was horrific

Apparently the villain snuck up on you

And hit you in a few different places

And then you fell down

And then you couldn’t access your quirk

And that’s why you were in the hospital 

He didn’t want to think about the part that happened after you were virtually defenseless

Around his friends he was spacier than usual

He wasn’t really retaining information

And his agency let him take more days off than usual because they knew he was Going Through It

And luckily on one of those days you woke up

He was next to you as per usual 

Holding your hand

Playing with your fingers like he always does when he gets anxious

He missed being able to do that in social situations 

Or when you two were cuddling at night and he was thinking about something that was stressing him out and he would start to fiddle with your hand and you would ask him what’s wrong

He missed you

So when he felt your hand start to move by itself

He basically gave himself whiplash with how fast he looked from your hand to your face

Sure enough

Your eyes were open

And you were looking at him

“(Y/n)…”

He whispered your name as not to scare you

You could have a concussion or mild amnesia

He has already considered everything that could be wrong with you

Because he overthinks a lot

And he was nervous about this

And there was one thing he had in the back of his mind

That would probably be the worst case scenario

And much to his fears

That was confirmed to be what was going on almost immediately

“Todoroki?”

He just stares for a moment

You hadn’t called him Todoroki since… well, a long time now

Probably back in your UA days

The two of you began dating in your second year though so

It’s been a while

“You look… older..?”

He clears his throat

Nodding

“Yes. Well… I am 20 years old now. I would hope I look older.”

“Wait, what?”

Oh shit.

He just confused you. 

Damnit, Shouto. 

“Uhh… well, um. You see…”

“Todoroki what is going on? And why are you holding my hand like that?”

He freezes

He was still playing with your fingers

And it wasn’t that you didn’t want him to

You were just genuinely confused

He knew that

“Before I say anything else that could be detrimental to your mental health, maybe you should ring your nurse.”

You do as he says

And the nurses and a doctor come rushing into your room

They do some evaluations

And sure enough

Your memory has been completely wiped

As has the access to the portion of your brain that allows you to control your quirk

The doctor explains to Todoroki that he’s unsure of how this happened

Bu Todoroki knows it has to be that villain

Whatever that villain did did this to you

And Todoroki isn’t one to show emotions

But boy oh BOY was he riled up right now

He lowkey accidentally caught something on fire

And then to fix it lowkey on purpose just turned it into a block of ice

Even though Endeavor is the worst man on the planet

Mans is persistent on shit that’s for sure

And that’s like

The only trait Shouto got from that literal dumpster fire of a father

And he wasn’t about to let the piece of shit that hurt you get away with it

Of course, when it comes to you as a person he’s very patient

Very understanding

Respects boundaries 

But he will not REST

Until the motherfucker who did this to you gets caught by him

And he will find them.

Bakugou Katsuki | DynaMight

OH BOY HERE WE GO

So Bakugou was already very protective over you

I mean that’s expected though

It’s

It’s literally Bakugou

So mans has tabs on you at all times

You don’t know how he does it tbh

He jokes

Yes, Bakugou can joke

He jokes about having a sixth sense when it comes to you

He just gets this feeling about you

If you’re sad? He knows

Happy? He knows

In danger? MANS KNOWS

And I guess he also has a GPS built into his brain???

He just

He knows

Probably because he cares extremely deeply about you

Like really fucking deeply

You’re the best thing that has ever happened to him

Ever since high school

First day

When you weren’t intimidated by him

There was just something special about you

And even though it took until after graduation and you almost DYING on a mission for him to finally accept that he can FEEL THINGS

He officially asked you to be his girlfriend

I say officially because, well

Y’all have basically been dating since like 

Second year of high school

Even though it wasn’t official

It was obvious

He was whipped

He still is

He’s known you for five years

You’ve been officially dating for two of those years

You were unofficially dating for four

You were the most important thing in his life

You even surpassed becoming the number one hero somehow

Though he will NEVER admit that

EVER

It took him a while to realize it 

But the thought of living without you?

Scared him more than any villain ever could

And that is why

Mans is all dressed up

Lookin nice

Took a day off of patrol at his agency because tonight is a special night

Of course, you don’t know anything

As it should be

He didn’t tell a soul that he was planning on proposing tonight

Okay… maybe that is a lie

He told Kirishima when he got blackout drunk with the boys one night

Long story, don’t ask how it happened, even the boys don’t know

And Kirishima then proceeded to tell everyone of his other friends 

So they all knew

But they also all knew to keep it a FUCKING SECRET unless they wanted blown up

But boy oh boy they were excited to see the pictures and the ring and the everything

But I digress

Bakugou is in the house the two of you purchased a while back

It was very much off the damn grid

For ~safety~ 

And he’s very much just messing with how he looks

He has to look perfect because he knows you’re about to 

And he can’t be proposing to you unless he’s on your level

When suddenly

He gets a

Feeling

But it isn’t the warm feeling he gets when you’re happy

Or the doopy one he gets when you’re sad

Or the wave of exhaustion he feels when you’re tired

Or the tingly feeling he gets when you’re mad

No

It’s the feeling where his spine tenses

And his blood goes cold

And his heart drops to the floor

The one he only felt one other time

The time you almost died

He was out of that house so fast

He didn’t even care if he looked all nice

You were in danger

He blasted his way through the city

Saying he was frantic is an understatement

He was FERAL

He got to where you were just in time to see you get slammed into the concrete by some piece of shit villain

You were unconscious

And you weren’t moving

He saw red

He didn’t even remember blasting over to the villain and punching them in the face

But he did that

And he did it HARD

Of course the villain was like OH FUCK

THIS IS THE NUMBER TWO HERO

I DIDN’T THINK HE’D ACTUALLY GET HERE THIS FAST

Because obviously the villain knew who you were

That’s why you were targeted 

Breaking Bakugou’s spirit is needed if villains want to become more fearful and powerful

The villain starts sprinting away

And before Bakugou can catch them

He hears an ambulance siren

He suddenly forgets all about the villain because he whips around to see you getting loaded onto a gurney

Paramedics are doing everything they can to keep you alive at this point

He’s horrified to say the least

You’re the love of his life

The last time he saw you like this is when he accepted it

Seeing you like this again just makes him realize it even deeper somehow

He runs to the ambulance

But the paramedics tell him he needs to go to the hospital separately because you’re badly injured and they need to perform some procedures on the way to the hospital to keep you alive

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until his eyes start to sting

He wants to tell the paramedics to fuck off

Don’t they realize this is supposed to be one of the best days of yours and his lives?

But he can’t 

Because before he can

They’re gone

He chases after you though

He needs to be by your side right now

He needs to know that you will be okay

He needs you to be okay

So imagine how nerve-wracking it is for him to learn that you were in surgery

He waited in the waiting room all day long

This incident happened around one in the afternoon

and it was now one in the morning

He was just sitting in the hospital waiting room

Looking down at the little box in his hand

Crying

Which is a sight for anyone who sees him

The ring he bought for you is the only thing he can focus on

He doesn’t even notice the non-stop buzzing in his pocket coming from his and your friends wondering if the two of you are okay because the footage of the fight cut out right before Bakugou punched the villain

They all thought you were both hurt pretty badly

I mean after your quirk was seemingly taken from you…

The only thing that snaps him out of his trance

Is when the doctor comes out and says his name

His head snaps up so fast

He approaches the doctor just as fast

He knows he should expect the worst

But he can’t help but keep repeating that you’re okay

That everything will be fine because you are okay

They fixed you up

You’ll come home all happy

He’ll propose to you in the living room at this point

Today will be fixed

Instead

He hears that although you’re stable

You have what appears to be brain damage

“What kind of fucking brain damage?”

“She has severe amnesia which means that-”

“How severe?”

“Well… according to her brain scan and the fact that she said the year was two and a half years ago, I’m afraid it’s significantly severe.”

Two and a half years

Two and a half years?!

He just stares at the doctor

If you think it’s two and a half years ago

That means he hasn’t asked you out yet

That means in your mind

You’re still in high school

About to graduate

This cannot be happening

There is not way this is happening

“Can I see her?”

His voice sounds foreign to him

The doctor nods

Leading him to your room

He puts the ring back in his pocket out of instinct

And when he enters your room

He wants nothing more than for you to yell something like PSYCH

GOT YOU BLASTY BITCH

HAHAHA

But he’s just met with a your mouth opening wide and eye getting big

“Bakugou?! You’re so dressed up!”

Bakugou

Why didn’t he let you call him Katsuki sooner

Why didn’t he ask you out before two years ago

Why wasn’t he there to save you

“W-Woah… Bakugou, you don’t have to cry this isn’t my first hospital stay… wait, when did you get an undercut?”

He just walks towards you

“You also look… older… is this seriously what you look like when you clean up?”

He watches as your expression falters for a moment

“Wait… are you like… going on a date or something?”

Good to know you still have feelings for him at least

He just nods

And you try to hide the disappointment on your face

“Oh… well, you better tell me all about it when we get back to the dorms.”

Your fake enthusiasm is killing him

What killing him even more though is that the doctors didn’t tell you what was going on

So he’ll tell you instead

“Actually,”

Damnit

His voice is wavering

This is new for him

He clears his throat

“I’m not… I’m not going on a date anymore. I had one but… things didn’t turn out as planned.”

“Oh?”

He almost smiles at the sudden mood shift you had

How can you still be perky like that sitting in a hospital bed

“Yeah… because, um. It was a date with you…”

“…Oh…?”

“You got hurt pretty bad, angel…”

He explains everything to you

Well 

As much as he can

And he also finds out about your quirk

And how it’s just

Gone

You have to stay in the hospital tonight for further testing tomorrow

And you insist that he goes home

But he says it isn’t home if you’re not there

He stays in the chair right next to your bed

Watching you as you sleep

He knows you believe him

He knows that you have feeling for him

But he’s broken, truly

Not only was he not your hero today

He didn’t save you

He doesn’t know if you’ll ever remember any of those years with him

Any of your firsts

And that makes him ache

He pulls out your ring again

And just looks at it

The only light in the room is the moonlight peaking in through the window

And in that moment

He swears to himself

And to you

That the villain who did this

Is going to pay

Kirishima Eijirou | Red Riot

Eijirou has always been your rock

Figuratively and literally

He’s there for you through everything

And I mean everything

The two of you have been next door neighbors since you were kids

And he literally always had a crush on you

Of course the feelings were mutual

But neither you nor shark boy knew that

Until y’all got to high school

And Bakugou was very

Annoyed

About the two of you pining for each other

Mina was beyond annoyed 

She went to middle school with you two

So when Bakugou finally just

Screamed at the two of you to just shut the fuck up with the flirting and date already

Mina deadass jumped out of her seat at lunch and screamed thank you at the top of her lungs

Of course the two of you were as red as his hair

Which, yes

You did help him pick out the exact shade and helped dye as well

His hands were stained red because he accidentally only bought one pair of gloves and it wouldn’t have been manly to make you help without gloves on

But I digress

The two of you started dating shortly after that

And when I tell you that you were the couple everyone would look at and be all “awwwww”

I MEAN IT

And y’all are just in high school

Granted, it’s your final year and the two of you are both interning and are already confirmed to become sidekicks and Fatgum’s Agency

So y’all do be a little mature

But still

You started dating freshman year

And you’re going strong still

Of course

And words cannot describe how relieved he is that the two of you are at the same agency

Because if anything ever went bad he would be there to save you

And you would be there to save him

But literally nothing could prepare him for what was about to happen to you

It was a normal patrol

The two of you were together

Talking about graduation next week

And how the two of you were excited to move out of the dorms and into the apartment you had picked

And how you would finally be able to adopt the little mutt that the two of you love from the shelter

When out of no where

A villain popped down off of a building

Right behind you

And did something weird to you

They hit you meticulously and in specific places

Before Kirishima could even process what was going on

You were on the ground

Of course

You raised an arm

Ready to fight and use your quirk

But nothing happened

You tried again

Nothing

You and Kirishima make eye contact and he can feel the fear radiating off of you

Now he was worried

Very worried

But you knew how to fight

And he was there, too

So this wouldn’t end too bad

UNTIL THERE WAS A FUCKING EXPLOSION IN THE BUILDING THE VILLAIN JUST POPPED OUT OF

You were already back on your feet

Ready to fight this motherfucker

“Go help the people inside, Red Riot. I can handle this one.”

“But-”

“GO!”

He goes

Reluctantly

But he does know you can hold your own

Even if that villain temporarily blocked your quirk

He hardens

Turning his headpiece into a filtering mask (a great addition he thought of so he could run into burning buildings while hardened to save people and not take damage to his lungs in the process)

And luckily

There were only three people inside

So he grabs them and runs out

Easy

And he’s expecting to be met with you handcuffing the bad guy

But instead

He’s met with you getting the life beat out of you

Literally

You’re on the ground

The villain pulled out swords while he was gone

And it was obvious you were down and weren’t gettingup

But the villain just wasn’t letting up

Kirishima’s legs work before his brain

He runs over to the villain and lands a punch to their face

Which causes them to stumble backwards

Before they throw the swords at a random citizen who is observing

He immediately runs to the citizen, deflecting the swords

But the villain ran off in the mean time

Like they disappeared without a trace

But honestly

Even if they were still there

Kirishima would have run to you regardless

He immediately kneels down

“(Y/n)?! (Y/n), can you hear me?!”

He ditched the hero names this time

You weren’t responding

You were out cold

He starts panicking

Like

Full on hyperventilating

You looked bad

You were pierced by the villains swords in your side

Blood was everywhere

Your breathing was shallow

Regardless of the genuine panic attack he was going through right now

He somehow managed to control his breathing so you wouldn’t bleed out on the ground

He needed to help you

He picks you up

Instantly starting to sprint to the ambulances beginning to pull up

As soon as the paramedics see the state you’re in they get you off of him

And speed off to the hospital

Kirishima is left alone 

Staring at his hands 

Which were dyed red with your blood

All he could see was your face laughing at him because he forgot to get two pairs of gloves the first time you helped him dye his hair

…He didn’t like red all that much right now

After what feels like hours

But was really like two minutes

Tamaki shows up

Because he heard there was something going on

And as soon as he sees Kirishima on the ground and sobbing

He knows something bad has happened to you

He quickly gets him out of there

And back to the agency

Where Kirishima accidentally sees a replay of the fight on television

And he sees that you were fighting the villain just fine

But they were so nimble and fast 

And all they did was hit the nape of your neck and then the side of your temple

And you collapsed

Tamaki turned the television off before the full fight was shown

But the damage was done

Kirishima was back on the ground

Tamaki tries to comfort him

But Kirishima is out of commission

“I couldn’t save her, Tamaki! I wasn’t there!”

“…C-Come on, Kirishima… w-we should… go to the hospital…”

Tamaki is trying so hard to get him to calm down 

But to no avail

So eventually he just drags him out and to his car

He speeds to the hospital

And Kirishima doesn’t even wait for the car to slow down to run inside

He has to wait to see you

Since you were punctured 

But he was willing to wait

And wait he did 

For four days

Of course after you were done with your surgery he was allowed in your room

But it was a matter of waiting for you to wake up

He was always with you

He only went home to shower

He slept at the hospital

He needed to be with you

So when you finally woke up

He cried tears of happiness for the first time in days

“(Y/n), thank god you’re awake.”

“Eiji? What happened…?”

“There was a villain attack and they knocked you out and-”

“Why don’t you look 15?”

“What?”

“You look… older… and your hair is longer.”

“…What? You were the one who encouraged me to grow it out…”

“I… I was?”

He stares at you for a moment

His happy tears turning into ones of fear

Before hitting the call nurse button and asking you a question

“(Y/n) what grade are we in?”

“We’re freshmen at UA High School.”

No. 

No, no, no, no, no

Before he could answer the doctor and nurses came in the room

They started asking you a bunch of questions

To which you answered the best you could

But it was obvious that you were convinced it was two years ago

The doctors took you off to do scans of your brain

This can’t be happening

You think it’s two years ago

Two years

So much has happened within those two years

The two of you have done so much

Just

Imagine how devastated he is when he hears your memory is just gone

And your quirk with it

You were a hero

Your quirk can’t be gone

“Eiji… please don’t cry, it’ll be okay.”

“I can’t help it, pebble. I wasn’t there to save you and now… now you don’t remember everything we’ve done. And… and your quirk… you’re the best hero I know, and now…”

“Eijirou, I promise you it will be okay. As long as you’ll be with me, like you always are, I will be fine.”

He doesn’t say anything

He just looks at his hand holding yours

At least you still remember he asked you to be his girlfriend

But he is deadset on finding the villain who did this to you

“I will get you out of this.”

“Ei…”

“I will fix this. I promise you. I will save you. I need to.”

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

Small headcanons about Amis with not-perfect jobs for ded people with shit show days:

-Courfeyrac works on the organizing team of a big NGO, and he's super happy with it, it's very cool, and he loves running around and talking to people. But some days, especially if he hasn't slept right, it's absolutely exhausting. Those days, it takes Combeferre and Enjolras one look at him to shepherd him to the couch, and one of them cuddles him in silence while the other one puts bread in the oven and brings hot bread with cheese and jam in a platter. On those days, they know not to try making conversation, they are just silently there for him.

-Feuilly works at a calling center, and you can imagine it's not the most rewarding job ever. So sometimes, when he's had more than his usual share of people who think yelling at a minimum wage employee is a good idea, he calls Bahorel and they go running along the Seine to get out pent-up frustration, after which they sit at a café and Bahorel listens attentively to Feuilly's rants.

- Cosette's manager is a sexist asshole who talks down to her and constantly gives her condescending advice on stuff she already knows how to do. The Amis have tried everything to help her about it: it all failed, until Grantaire jokingly suggested writing his latest assholery on a piece of paper, taping it to a punching bag, and pummeling it to death. It worked so well, that after a couple of months of her calling him to come to his apartment to do so, he bought her a punching bag for her birthday. (They still box together a lot, though)

- Joly was a doctor for a while, and that isn't easy when you also have rampant hypochondria. He panicked, a lot, especially when he got patients with contagious diseases, and as he couldn't let it show while he was working, he bottled it until he got home. His panic attacks got worse and worse until at last his friends sat him down and told him that it couldn't go on like that, and that he could find a lot of ways to help people that didn't destroy his mental health. It wasn't easy (he had wanted to be a doctor since he was a little kid), but he ended up accepting they probably were right (Grantaire telling him "you're being self-destructive, and believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I can't see you do this to yourself, it's breaking my heart" was the tipping point). Now he works doing desk work at Doctors Without Borders and he's so much happier.

- Combeferre is a PhD student, and it takes a big toll on his mental health. He gets impostor syndrome (going from "the best at everything" to "kinda mediocre compared to his collegues" messes with his mind), he works way too many hours, and his supervisor is nice, but he's also of the "you can always give more of yourself" school of academia. After he breaks down one night at their apartment, Enjolras starts leaving post-its on random places with "things Combeferre is great at" that aren't work-related, and when he gets glowing reviews from the students he TA's, he prints some of them and sticks them to Combeferre's desk wall. On the other hand, Courfeyrac takes it upon himself to make sure Ferre takes breaks, mostly by framing them as favours to himself instead of breaks: "hey, Ferre, I wanted to go to this festival next week-end, but I have no car, could you drive me there, please? You could stay, there is this group you love who are playing".

I hope these make you feel a little better, and big hugs to you!!!

these were so great and they really made me feel better when I was feeling like absolute trash the other day! I thought I'd do some cute ones, because if we all have to be slaves to capitalism we may as well make light of it:

Eponine, when she gets the chance to go to university, decides that she wants to be a social worker. She manages just over a year and a half, and then ends up dropping out, because the things she was seeing and learning about were hitting a little too close to home, literally. They need a stop gap job, so they start working in a museum gift shop. At first it’s literally just a job, but then she hears about a tour guide position opening up, and it appeals to her. She ends up staying in the museum for years, moving around the different departments. It’s not the sort of job that’s going to change the world, but they like organising tours and chilling out in the art galleries and getting coffee in the museum cafe with their co-workers and telling kids about dinosaurs. It’s steady, it’s fun, and she’s so happy. 

Jehan wants to be a famous poet someday. Their parents and older siblings and the rest of their family, as well as careers counsellors in school and college, have told them how impractical this is, and they need an actual career plan to work towards. They acknowledge this, but choose to ignore it. They're happy just working in the little coffeeshop/bookstore they're in now. If the poet thing is meant to happen, it'll happen.

Bahorel starts working in a law firm when he's 22, and oh god, oh fuck, he hates it so much. They're bored shitless and restless and just generally unhappy, but stay there because they doesn't know what else to do with their life. Then, one day, he's in the hospital waiting room with Bossuet (he broke his nose- long story) and he's watching, not the doctors, but the nurses. How integral they are to the working of the hospital, how they interact with the patients, how fucking hard they're working, and it sparks something in him. So, at the age of 26, Bahorel leaves their fancy, well-paid law job, and goes back to school to study nursing, and it finally feels right

[rolandtowen]

Kiss It Better

Sokka builds a blanket fort. Zuko info-dumps about ADHD and chronic pain. Fluff ensues.

Read it under the cut!

"Sokka?"

A mess of brown hair and blue eyes peers out from underneath a carefully constructed cocoon of blankets. Zuko's standing in their bedroom doorway, holding Sokka's medication organizer.

"When was the last time you remember taking your meds?"

"Hmm... Thursday?" Comes Sokka's voice, muffled by the blankets.

Zuko flipped through the pill pockets. "No, looks like Tuesday."

"How bad is that? What day is today?"

Zuko sits on the edge of their bed, close enough to hold Sokka's hand but not close enough to disrupt his carefully crafted fort. "Well firstly, today is Sunday." Sokka groans and brings his free hand to his forehead. Zuko presses on, squeezing his other hand. "Secondly, taking your meds is morally neutral. Forgetting doesn't make you a bad person, it just means we need to find a routine that works better for you."

Sokka nods and Zuko can see the gears turning in his brain.

"Can I ask why you're in a blanket fort? Is it your knee?"

As a kid with ADHD, Sokka played a lot of sports: hockey, basketball, even tennis. But football is what did him in - in his senior year in high school, an unfortunate tackle tore his ACL, dislocated his left knee, and created hairline fractures in his calf bones. The Dancing Dragons won the game, but Sokka spent the rest of his senior year recovering. After almost five years, all it takes is one bad twist during a rush in the coffee shop and Sokka's down for the count.

"What gave it away?" Zuko looks up from their joined hands to see Sokka smiling at him, his bitterness at his body softened by Zuko's presence.

"Well, for one, the heating pad was mysteriously absent from our med drawer - and you're also in a blanket fort." Zuko squeezes Sokka's hand. "May I join you?"

"But of course, my love," Sokka pulls back the comforter, slapping the empty mattress beside him. "By all means, come on into Fort Chronic Pain."

Zuko laughs, settling next to his boyfriend and curling into him. "You're ridiculous."

"That's why you love me." Sokka starts combing his fingers through Zuko's long hair. "How were your classes today?"

Sokka knows that if he can get Zuko talking about school, he won't be so worried about Sokka's knee.

"Are you trying to get me to stop worrying about you? It won't work." Sokka sighs.

"Maybe, I think your med school classes are interesting."

Zuko, for all his worrying, had passed the MCAT, graduated summa cum laude, and was now studying for his M. D. at the prestigious Beifong Medical School. Sokka hadn't doubted him for a second. Zuko never gave up and never backed down. The man could grapple with the Sun and win unscathed.

"-oned?" Zuko's voice comes from below him.

"Huh?"

"I asked, 'are you zoned'?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I-"

Zuko waves him off. "What's the last thing you remember? I can start over."

"I remember asking you about classes, and you wrongfully accusing me of trying to distract you."

Zuko snorts. "My favorite class by far has been Mental Health and Physiology. I think it's highly admirable that med schools are starting to integrate mental and physical health, and not teaching them separately."

"What kind of things have you learned?"

"Like, people with anxiety may present with back pain that doesn't correlate to an injury; the excess stress can really do strange things to your muscles - and we should still holistically treat patients without just dismissing them and telling them to relax."

Sokka nods. "That makes a lot of sense, baby. You're so smart."

"Oh, shut up." Zuko can feel his cheeks warm at the compliment. "But, we also talked about ADHD and chronic pain, which I thought you might like to hear?"

"Of course, turtleduck. Amaze me." Sokka rests his hand on Zuko's hair, running his thumb across the curve of his head. "Info-dump away."

Zuko takes a deep breath in. "Okay, so, there are significant studies that show that people with ADHD experience chronic pain at a higher level than the average population - there are a few theories as to why this might be. Many people with ADHD experience hypertonia, or muscle overactivity. This can make it really difficult to fully relax tense muscles, and increases chance of injury. Additionally, low dopamine is considered to be one of the causes of ADHD, and dopamine regulates chronic pain signals. Most of the research has only been done in the last decade, so it's going to be really exciting to see what new treatments develop - previously, dopamine wasn't really known to be connected to pain regulation at all." Zuko turns to look up at Sokka. "You never know, there might be an effective treatment for your leg in the next decade."

Sokka wants to be hopeful, he does, but he's been trying to treat his chronic pain for five years, and he's had limited success. Going to a chiropractor helped a little, the physical therapist gave him some great exercises for strengthening the tendons supporting his knee, and cutting back on inflammatory foods lessened the pain level whenever he entered a flare - but he still got flares. A hike could knock him off his feet for weeks; a rainy day could be agonizing. He just wishes there was a simple solution - but as much as homeopathic Karens in the coffee shop try to convince him, there's no one-step solution. No, Janet, as good as your essential oil blend smells, it isn't going to take the place of physical therapy, preventative care, and lifestyle changes. Just like for his ADHD. It takes dedication to a process of self-care to make improvement in either arena.

And if the off-schedule pill organizer in Zuko's hands is any indication, dedication to a process can feel fucking impossible with ADHD. 

"Can I do anything to help?" Sokka looks down to see Zuko's amber eyes staring up at him, offering comfort no blanket fort could provide. 

"Can you..."

"Yeah?"

Sokka swallows. "Could you, maybe... kiss it better?"

Zuko's eyes practically sing his answer: "Of course I can."

Zuko gingerly moves the heating pad from its spot on Sokka's left knee. He tips his head down, pressing a featherlight kiss to Sokka's kneecap. He murmurs something under his breath. 

"Sorry, what was that?"

Zuko looks at him sheepishly. "I said, 'the patella'. 

Sokka can't hold back the laughter that bubbles out of his chest. "You're using me for anatomy study?"

"Seems like a fair trade. You get kisses and I get to study at the same time." Zuko drops another kiss to Sokka's knee. "Both the elbows and the knees are constructed with hinge joints." Zuko presses a firmer kiss to Sokka's thigh. "This is the femur, the thighbone - the longest and strongest bone in your body."

Sokka opens his mouth to make a joke, but Zuko beats him to it: "If you make a joke about your dick, I'm donating you to my cadaver class." Sokka's jaw snaps shut. 

Zuko drops another two kisses on either side of Sokka's calf. "Tibia and fibula," he whispers. "These are the ones you broke senior year."

"Only hairline fractures," Sokka corrects.

"Can you still feel it?"

Sokka shakes his head. "It's the ACL that still bothers me the most."

"Do you want some lidocaine?"

"Spirits, yes." 

Zuko rummages through their nightstand, pulling the blessed tub of Icy Hot out of the top drawer, and spreading a thin layer over Sokka's knee. He traces soft patterns into his knee as they wait for the lidocaine to kick in. 

"If you say 'patella' again, I'm going to smack you." Sokka eyes him from where he's leaning against the headboard. 

"Of course not," Zuko takes Sokka's right hand into his and presses a kiss to the back of it. "Metacarpals."

"You fucker-"

"Don't get riled up and undo all my hard work." Zuko massages the palm of Sokka's hand. "Is the leg better?"

"Much better."

"So we still have the original problem."

"The meds?"

Zuko nods. "So I know you've been trying to take them as soon as you wake up..."

"But?"

"I think you should task-stack it," Zuko says, running his thumb absent-mindedly over Sokka's knee. "You should pair with something you do everyday."

"Like what?"

"You make yourself a wicked pour-over every morning. What if you kept your meds by the kettle and then took them while you waited for the water to get hot?" 

Sokka face pauses, processing. "Huh."

"Would... would that work?"

Sokka smiles, beaming at him. "That's a brilliant idea, turtleduck." He opens his arms up, patting the space underneath him. "Come up here?"

"If you insist," Zuko quips. "Do you want me to make fried rice tonight? I can even bring it to you if you want."

"You're literally the light of my life."

Zuko laughs. "I'll take that to heart." He snuggles up under Sokka's chin. "Do you feel better?"

"So much better." Sokka pushes back Zuko's hair from his face and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. "Thanks to you."

"Frontal bone," Zuko murmurs. 

"Seriously?!"

Zuko cackles. 

[bagog]

What On Earth Has Happened

Hey, no story here, no experiments. Just a play by play of an awful year in my life. Please don't reblog. Trying to just get it down in one place for people who care about me. Long, sob-story beneath the cut.

Air - 'Things are looking up!' I had started to drift a bit from tumblr. The porno purge came and a lot of my friends trickled off the platform after that. I went back to school, attempting to score myself a Masters degree in something that would pay enough to get me out of Student Debt. I was doing great, picking things up fast. I got a new job at a company doing pretty menial work, but the people I worked with were great conversationalists. The work didn't involve dealing with customers at all, paid well, and was small and accomplishable tasks. Essentially I was being prepped to take a better position at the place once I had my Masters. Covid happened, then. Earth - 'The Whole World Sucks Right Now' My company was "essential," so I continued going to work, now on weird schedules. The company I worked for was profiting off Covid, all the while making fun of it as an overblown conspiracy, even as their own epidemiologist urged them to take better precautions. Work became hard to swallow. Water - 'When your lowest place could be lower' The apartment I shared with my boyfriend flooded. The lowest place in any sewage system is typically the bathtub, such that if it backs up, it does so into that tub. Our lowest point is the toilet. So the apartment flooded. Three times. Roots growing through the sewage outflow meant that, often, you needed to wait a solid hour between toilet flushes, or else the toilet would back up with such gusto the sewage would slosh down the hallway and into the living room. We mopped many times. The problem was finally fixed 8 months later, necessitating our having to camp because our house had no water. Fire - 'To destroy all you've done' One afternoon, I smelled burning. Going to our bedroom, I found our shelf a column of flame. I could barely breathe for all the smoke, but I managed to grab a blanket and beat the fire out. On the other side of the room, the pages of the books upon another shelf had begun to crisp from the heat, the blinds on all the windows were warped. The whole apartment had been about to go up. I'm kinda scared of fire now. Heart - 'When moving is too much to ask' Personal health sorta hit a new low. Migraines kept me out of work for two full weeks. I have seasonal foot pain, I always assumed from hiking for a living in my 20s. Turns out it was gout, all the while. Gout is exceptionally painful: it's like a messy pile of razor blades in the ball of your foot every time you step down. At work, I could barely stand. Walking from my car to the door became something I needed to psyche myself up for. Not a lot can stop a gout flare-up once it's in full swing, so I just had to wait it out. For a month. Two. Some of the worst sustained pain I've been in. Little did I know that, in January, come the kidney stones. Kidney stones feel awful. Feel like total shit. Gout and kidney stones are comorbid--brought about as a result of the meds I take to help me focus. So any day I don't drink enough water is a day when my kidneys or my foot just starts aching. But going back to September of 2020... Homophobia - 'goddammit' Finally things are looking better. I'm limping quickly again. Then I am called into the HR office. I am told that two sexual harassment charges have been brought against me. I'm told that one individual has alleged that I, while in the restroom, used a reflective toilet brush to attempt to peep him under a stall wall. I did not do this. I do not understand--reflective toilet brush?? wtf. The second allegation: I just straight up looked over a stall at a guy. I didn't do this either. I'm asked to defend myself, I ask who or date or time of day. I am given nothing. I remark that I don't think I'm tall enough to see over the stall, and I do not understand about the toilet brush. Of the ten minutes of the meeting, I spend 8 of them trying to get my head around how a claim about a reflective toilet brush has me here. "Would you like us to go now to see if you're tall enough to see over the stall? If that would help your defense?" says the HR head. "Yes, I

would," says I. We did not go. I am told that the accusers have no reason to be collaborating, or to even know each other made a claim. This is bullshit, because it was a company of 80 people, and only a quarter of those employees used the restroom where my alleged harassment was to have taken place. Before I am dismissed from work for the day to go home and wait to find out if I'll be fired or not, I march into the HR office once more and say "I hope none of this is happening because I'm gay." The HR head looks positively offended. I got fired cuz I'm gay. Next day I got a call. They'd come to the "objective truth" (that phrase is burned in my mind), and were terminating me. Apparently they discounted the toilet brush rumor, after all. But they really honestly believed I looked over the stall at a dude. Nightmare - 'No Fear One Fear' Let me tell you something: this is a nightmare. This is my honest-to-god nightmare. I've been terrified of getting accused of something in a bathroom since I was 11 years old. I am incredibly self-conscious and careful in public restrooms. To be fired? From a place full of people I like? And all of them will think I'm a pervert. My boyfriend worked at the same place. He would now have to work there every day dealing with people looking at him and wondering what he must think of his boyfriend. That sent me on a spiral. I'm still out of work, almost a year later. It would have been the worst mental health crisis of my life if it wasn't for my boyfriend, my support network, and the meds I've finally been able to get ahold of. Oh, also. My two accusers? Were roommates. HR knew they were roommates. They basically collaborated on a story to get me fired. The story circulating around the place (I still have acquaintances I talk to working there) has dropped the reflective toilet brush entirely. I guess they thought it was too unbelievable. So anyway, the people who accused me are now telling a different set of events than what I was told. Absolute horse shit. Tried to go to my city's human right's council to see if my situation warranted further attention. I gave my side of the story--including tales of the straight manager who had had enough harassment charges brought against him that he was no longer allowed to meet female staff--which indicated I'd been treated differently and wrongly. My old job made an impassioned argument that the committee violated their First Amendment rights(?) ('Freedom of speech' is the biggie with the First Amendment, for people who cba re:USA). I won the vote!! But one member of the committee was missing. So there weren't enough people for the vote to pass. Dismissed. We took it to the EEOC to make an official federal complaint. Just a week ago, an agent of the US Government patiently explained to us that these laws are literally designed to fuck over the worker and protect the employer unless they are epically stupid, and unfortunately, mine had not been epically stupid. So there's nowhere to go, no recourse to be had. It's over, I guess. Family - 'How to sum it up quickly...' My family hit me with the old soft-disown. No more calls, no more communication. They think they are loving me by not having contact with me. By depriving me of my family, they hope it will make me realize that the path I'm on is destructive, and I'll return to them living an upright life. No. I'm living an upright life, now. And if my family can choose to throw me away, then they are not a family I choose. Then my dad hit me back two months later, absolutely gaslighting me and pretending we never had the disown conversation at all. Reality - 'I don't know who I am anymore' I have trouble knowing what's real, anymore. Every message my dad sends on the surface seems loving and supportive and plaintive. I feel I must be the one in the wrong. I got fired for bullshit reasons. It doesn't feel real. "My family can't possibly have ceased contact with me: that's one of those things I know can never happen!!" But that did happen. So what else that feels real, actually isn't? I do

mean to be so dramatic, and I won't apologize for it. But I truly do feel like my mind has been pretty thoroughly unseated by the last year. Whoever I am, I'm becoming someone different. More distilled, at very least. I've discovered a lot of things about myself: trauma that has likely led to a lot of my mental health problems. Discovered I actually have RAGING ADHD, and it has robber me of a lot of things I wanted to do, and now is sort of consuming me completely. I'm looking for help. Trying to get better. Here's hoping. Every bold point above could be its own book, for all my thoughts about them. But enough of that for now. Love you. Thanks for reading.

[wannabe-fic-writer]

Natasha Romanoff x Reader : Prove Me Wrong

Summary: She can trust you, even if she doesn’t know it yet.

Warning: 18+ Mental Health, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, Smut

Chapter 6

******

Laughter sounds in the kitchen, the mix of yours and Carol’s filling the kitchen.

She leans against the counter across from you, sipping from a cup of coffee you’d made for her. And you sit on one of the few stools drinking tea with a new friend, Goose the cat, in your lap.

This morning you’d planned to just get a cup of tea and return to your room to read.

Finding Carol in the kitchen already changed that plan. The two of you started talking and she drew you in with even more exciting tales of space and the Air Force.

Much like the past few days you get wrapped up in how nice Carol is. Sure she’s a little sarcastic, and not so secretly cocky. But that’s definitely swept away by the fact that she’s very funny and friendly.

Goose purrs rhythmically as you pet him and listen to Carol talk about restoring a planet named Easik.

“Not to be nosey or anything but, how does your girlfriend feel about your space travels?” You maintain eye contact as you sip your tea.

Carol chuckles a little,“ she’s not really fond of all the time I spend away and she worries about the dangers out there. But she and her daughter always trust that I’ll get home safely. Plus I make up for it with cool stories and space gifts.”

“Ever the charmer Danvers.” You shake your head.

“Why thank you, I try.” The woman does an exaggerated bow.

Mid laugh, Goose stands up in your lap causing your hand to slide down his soft fur as he looks at the door.

Natasha steps through, clad in athletic wear and sporting a messy ponytail.

Subconsciously you find your gaze passing over the material of her pants that shape her legs and the tank top that shows off her toned arms.

Has she always been this hot or are you only just now noticing?

Thankfully the woman’s words pull you from your thoughts.

“Am I interrupting something?” She asks, walking behind Carol to the coffee pot.

Carol shakes her head,“ just Y/N telling me about her time at NYU.”

You’re quick to tell them,“ which was really just a lot of studying and sleep deprivation.”

“And crazy parties! You saw a guy jump from a roof into a pool of Jell-O. Which makes me wonder if you did too?” She tilts her head inquisitively.

“Of course not,” you finish off tour tea,“ but not because of the jump. I literally cringed at the idea of having Jell-O in places it shouldn’t be.”

The blonde is laughing again and you smile, almost proudly, at having gotten her to.

Natasha looks away so no one can see her roll her eyes.

“Ladies!”

The familiar voice of the one Mister Tony Stark hits your ears before he steps into view. He’s smiling at each of you in greeting and pointing at the cat that definitely wasn’t here the last time he was.

“T! What brings you by, again?” You return his smile sweetly.

“Oh I’m just here to cordially invite you all to mine and Pepper’s anniversary dinner Friday night. Figured getting out would do you some good since your social life is like watching paint dry.” He teases with a fake pout.

Standing from your stool, Goose leaping down from your lap at the same time, you speak to Tony,“ you know, the more time I spend with you the more I understand why Pepper needed to see me.”

Having said that, you leave out. Tony follows you and Goose pauses, looking from where you were to Carol, only to follow after you as well.

With you out of earshot, Carol turns to Natasha with a raised brow.“ I could be wrong here but, am I sensing that you’re interested in Y/N?”

“Of course not.” Natasha shoots the idea down quickly.

Too quickly.

Carol smirks,“ please. You came in here with every bit of jealousy in your tone.” She folds her arms and faces the red head fully,“ which is misplaced. I have a girlfriend.”

Natasha freezes at the information. It’s not a long pause but it’s noticeable enough, making Carol smile proudly.

She knows a crush when she sees one.

“It’s none of my concern who you or Y/N are dating.” She finally says, grip loosening on her cup as she leaves.

For the days that pass Natasha finds herself thinking more and more about what Carol said. 

One thing Natasha knows is how to identify her feelings, but she’d only really encountered these feelings once before. With Bruce.

She felt differently with him than she did with Steve and Tony. The feelings scared her and when she decided to free fall into them, he pushed her away and left for more than two years.

That experience made her familiar with, wanting someone romantically. So when she began to feel that way towards you a mere few days after your second session she fought to push it away. 

She’d be damned if she got hurt again, especially by someone claiming to want to help her. 

And despite not wanting to be hurt, a part of her still wonders about you.

A part that she tries her hardest to ignore. So much so that she doesn’t go to your session the morning of Tony and Pepper’s anniversary.

You couldn’t lie and say you aren’t disappointed to not find her in your office when you got there. And even more disappointed the more time passed without her showing.

You consider going to find her, thinking that something must really be bothering her for her to not show up after all the progress she’d made. But you also considered that she could just be busy and decided that just this once you’d back off.

So, for the time being, you go over the files of the rest of the team, working on possible ways to make breakthroughs and just coping exercises in general. 

Hours pass of this, you stopping only twice to get fresh tea and lunch. Until eventually you’re getting ready for the anniversary dinner. 

After having received directions to the venue from Tony, you get ready to leave. Steve and Bucky offering you a ride and telling you that Natasha, Wanda, and Sam left already.

Light conversation flows between the three of you until you get there. Bucky parking and Steve getting out to open your door for you. 

“Thanks.” You smile, hopping out of the SUV and walking beside them into the building. 

It’s a lot simpler than you expected it to be. As simple as crystal chandeliers and champagne fountains can be.

While looking for Tony and Pepper, your eyes catch Natasha. She’s standing beside Wanda at the bar and looking more beautiful than you’d ever seen. 

Something about the way that blue looks against her skin, the way the fabric of the dress clings to her curvy form, or perhaps the way her green eyes seem to stand out more than usual. 

Has your eyesight changed in the last week? Why are you seeing her in a different light than before? 

Whatever the case is, your watching her, has you tripping over your own feet. 

Literally.

The only reason you don’t eat shit is because Bucky holds his arm out in front of you. 

“Thanks.” You chuckle nervously hoping no one notices the flush of your cheeks, or what caused you to trip.

You gather yourself before heading over to wish the couple a happy anniversary. And of course it doesn’t take Tony long to make some sarcastic comment. In which Pepper shoos him away so the two of you can catch up. 

All the while Morgan stands closely to her mother so you make sure to address her every once and a while, complimenting her dress and asking her about school(the girl is just as smart as her dad, at some point she’ll probably be smarter). 

Soon enough dinner is served, you sitting with the team at one of the tables and listening to them talk. 

It’s not until they open the dance floor that you see Carol. She comes in, effectively grabbing everyone’s attention. 

The woman joins you, her eyes glancing back and forth from all of you to Tony and Pepper dancing. 

“Awe man, I missed the food.” She half jokes, easing into the empty chair between you and Natasha.

You chuckle, shaking your head,“ I’m sure if you ask nicely, and stroke his ego a little, Tony’ll have them bring you something out.”

“Honey we both know I’d never.” 

When you both laugh, Natasha pushes herself up and goes over to the bar, stepping around the person filled dance floor. 

Your laughter dies, smile replaced by a frown. 

Noticing this, Carol stands, offering a hand,“ dance with me?”

“Okay.” 

On the dance floor, Carol’s arm glides across your lower back with ease, her other hand holding yours just level with your chests. You place your free hand on her shoulder.

The soft music that plays tells you that Tony had nothing to do with the selection tonight. Alongside that thought you notice that Carol’s a good dancer, cause she makes your uncoordinated self move easily.

“Is Natasha watching us?” She asks after a few steps.

Frowning, you look at the blonde, who’s eyes don’t meet yours. You let your gaze fall over the room, and find that Natasha is indeed watching you two. Only to look away when she meets your gaze.

“She was. Why?”

The woman’s chest shakes with a laugh,“ I think she likes you.”

That has you looking back over at the green eyed red head. Once again taking in how beautiful she looks.

Natasha likes you?

What had you done to get her to like you? Nothing. So why would she like you?

A frown masks your brows,“ why would you tell me that? Suppose I believed you and it wasn’t true, I’d look like a complete idiot if I did something about it.”

Carol leans back a little at that,“ you like Natasha?”

You flounder, mouth opening and closing stupidly as you think of a reply,“ no. She’s my patient and she tolerates me, at best.”

And she’s notebly the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. She’s godly beautiful in a human way. She’s, demi-godly beautiful? You aren’t sure that’s the right description but it’s what you think fits.

“What makes you think that?”

Breaking from your thoughts, you recall the interactions you had with Natasha in the beginning of your stay, or the lack there of. Followed by her barely even looking at you your first session.

At this point you and Carol have danced into a second song. You sigh and drop your head on to her shoulder.

“How often do you see me and Natasha talk? Like barely. The most we communicate is in my office where I am nothing but professional because if I’m not then I’d look like some bumbling idiot and that wouldn’t be helping her.”

Carol sighs,“ it’s not my place to say but, if you do have feelings for her, I think it would benefit you to tell her.”

You look up again, brown eyes staring back,“ did you miss the barely tolerates me part?”

“I find that hard to believe. You’re a very likeable person Y/N. Maybe it’s just her thoughts that are keeping her so distant.” She suggests.

The song comes to an end and you step away from her with a shake of your head,“ not to call you delusional, but I think you’ve seen things that aren’t there. I’m simply her therapist.”

As you turn to walk away Carol struggles to find something to say but she can’t. And your crestfallen face is heartbreaking.

That expression on your face completely debunks your claims at not liking the woman and Carol knows you only said it to convince yourself.

******

taglist: @username23345 @muffliat-o  @aaron-despair @natasha-danvers​ @wildhoney32 @criminallyhamilton @fayhar @nat-km-mh