#literally We Taught A Slug How To Fear

[tigerdragon1001]

It could ALSO be proving crickets can be traumatised though! I’d have to read the full paper to see, but people, even scientists, are shockingly reluctant to accept that invertebrates might have the emotional capability to be traumatised. Experiments like this provide something to point to as proof, even if it seems like common sense.

scientist voice: today i will be a dick to this cricket 

[sugarstarlights]

> “Okay, asshole, what the fuck did you do to Patches?” Rook stares at the floor, fists clenched, as the two Mads stand in the original’s bedroom, neither of them happy to be here.

“.. she attacked me. I defended myself.”

“No you didn’t. You did more than that. You did something bad enough that she won’t even talk about it. She can’t even stand to think about it and she’s scared that you’ll do worse if you find out she told. What. The fuck. Did you /do/.” Rook grits his teeth. “Why do you care? She’s a monster. She struck first, she got what she deserved.”

“And what did she deserve, then?” Conor moves forward and forces Rook’s chin up, to look him in the eye. “What sort of pain did you decided you had the right to put her through.”

“I barely hurt her at all.” He manages to make determined eye contact long enough to tell this half-truth. “She surprised me, I attacked her with a smite. Literally a single attack. How was I supposed to know it would hit that hard, I’ve never fought her with my new sword before.”

“That can’t be it. She’s been apprehensive as hell toward me because of whatever you did, there’s no way it was just one smite.” “Apprehensive as opposed to what?? Are you friends with her now? She’s hurt people, Conor, lots of people, she needed to be taught a lesson.” “And you shouldn’t have been the one to teach it! I’m trying to help her be better, but you just scared her away from me and ruined so much fucking effort.” Conor’s knuckles are white; it’s so hard to resist the urge to just slug him outright. “You aren’t telling me the whole truth, I know you’re not. You wouldn’t be hiding it if you thought it was the right thing to do, you /know/ you’re wrong, you /know/ you did something horrible. You can either tell me or let me assume, and I’m not going to make any good assumptions.”

Rook glances from Conor’s face to his shaking fists, taking a step back. He’s covering his fear and shame with false confidence in his defense, but his double knows that, he knows it better than anyone. An outright lie won’t get him anywhere. And all he’ll get out of stalling for time is the increasing chance for Conor to snap.

“Well?? Are you going to admit it or are you just going to stand there like a jackass.” “I- I didn’t- I didn’t hurt her. I..” He swallows hard. He knows that to Conor, to both of them, this sort of thing absolutely qualifies as hurt. “..she almost. Died. From the first hit. And I couldn’t do anything else, without fucking her up. So. ..I turned her into a cat. And tossed her in the water. Just for. A minute. She wasn’t bleeding anymore, as a cat, really I was helping, she just, still needed to-”

Conor is staring in shock. The mere concept that any version of him could have transformed someone against their will, altered their mind, made them that helpless in a context that terrifying..it’s unthinkable. He would never. Anyone who would. Anyone who would is something disgusting and cruel. 

Rook sees his disbelief and growing expression of horror and his chest grows tight. He shouldn’t be defending himself. He knows it was wrong. Maybe he can fix it. “..she..I..I kn-know it was fucked up. It was. A decision in the moment. I don’t know why I did it. I couldn’t stop myself, it was so easy, she was so..vulnerable..” No, this sounds worse actually.

Conor shakes his head, making a twisted, judging expression at Rook. “You could have stopped yourself. You definitely could have.” “Look, I’m sorry, I regret it, I..can’t exactly fix it, But I’ll..I’m trying to do better..”

“No, you can’t fix it. You already fucked up, there’s no taking that back. You..” He sneers, dredging up some of his own self-hatred to direct outwards. “You’ll never be better. You’ll always be horrible and hurtful. You had your chance to improve, we were almost there, and you threw that away to turn into /this/.” He gestures broadly at Rook in general, and Rook flinches, pain growing in his eyes. “I was going to help you, but I can’t. You ruined it. You did the one thing we can’t even stand to /see/ happening to others, and you did it gladly. Regret doesn’t matter. You’ve already hurt someone in the worst possible way.” He’s stepping aggressively towards Rook, who backs away at the same pace, until he’s pressed against the wall. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’ll never do it again, I know it was wrong..” he whimpers, knowing it won’t do any good. “It doesn’t matter what you say to me. You never apologized to her, did you?” The apology’s pointless. Conor grabs a sword from the nearby pile, puts on a ring, and turns into a tiefling, muttering a spell over the weapon. A Wrathful Smite. It emits a shimmering energy, and there’s nothing Rook can do to stop Conor from embedding it on his shoulder.

Rook screams, not at the blade in his muscle, but at the jagged scraping feeling in his mind, like someone ran a hacksaw over his consciousness. Instantly he’s filled with terror, he was scared of the consequences before things got physical but now he feels a desperate need to get away from Conor, get out of the room, get out of the fucking castle. Conor anticipates his plan and reaches down to rip his teleportation watch off his wrist, tossing it aside. Rook, impaled against the wall, can do nothing but struggle while the original angel picks up another sword and repeats the process, leaving the first one where he put it. This time he covers Rook’s mouth to stifle the scream as that sharp agony again damages the innermost parts of his soul, and the fear overwhelms him to the point of not even being able to think. 

Conor looks into Rook’s frantic, unfocused eyes, grabbing his face to turn it towards him, even as he twists in the other direction. “Why are you freaking out? I’m not /really/ hurting you, right? It’s not like you’re bleeding much. What. Do you feel helpless? Scared? This isn’t even close to what she went through.” Tears roll down Rook’s face, and he hyperventilates through the desperate magic-induced panic. Without looking away, Conor pulls a watch off of his wrist. It turns into a golden, pen-shaped sword. That energy shines off of it after another cast, and after shoving Rook’s scarf in his mouth, he embeds it deeply in his gut. 

It feels like his mind is being ripped apart, not at the seams, but everywhere in between, rougher, more forced tears that his powers can’t repair. Through the scarf his cry is weak and wavering, as the shapes and colors around him grow blurry and incomprehensible. The only thought he can manage to push through his damaged mind is that he needs to escape. He needs to escape. 

Conor turns away for just a moment, to get another sword. When he turns back, Rook is gone. Behind him he hears the previous weapons clatter to the ground, but again, when he turns, there is no one to be seen. The watch is missing from the ground. Conor resists the growing frustration and takes a deep breath, sitting down on his bed. 

It’s fine. The cruel bastard got what he deserved.

[demig00ddess]

Sleeping Beauty

Charlie Weasley x MC

A/N: I’ve rewritten this chapter several times, and I still don’t know what turned out.

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CHAPTER THREE

TIMELESS GIRL

       1998.        Ginny sat in the Potions classroom and drew diagrams for her Quidditch practice on a notebook. The arrows crawled slowly across the paper, intersecting with each other.        At first, she tried to help Slughorn and Hermione with the potion, but when the professor started talking about the fact that a natural-born potion master Harry Potter could easily cope with this potion, Hermione began to chop the dittany with such anger that Ginny decided not to get in the way. Now Ginny was throwing sympathetic glances at her friend and wondering how to get around the Ravenclaw’s defenses. The red circle with little G that marked herself couldn’t reach the rings at the other end of the field.        “Oho! Anderson, think of it!” Slughorn patted his round belly, sniffing at the potion. “Of course, I’ve heard a lot about her. I once taught her father and older brother, he was a very gifted young man. No, no, two drops will be enough, my dear! It’s a pity I left the teaching post before her studying, I would like to gather their whole family!”        Slughorn was in a rather talkative mood, talking incessantly about his former students. Ginny made a face at Hermione, it seemed to her that they were back in the Slug Club.

       Slughorn’s story about the popular Quidditch player Ethan Parkin, with whom he still kept in touch, was interrupted by an embarrassed first-year girl. She looked around the office and, not noticing Ginny sitting on the desk, turned to Hermione.        “Excuse me, are you Miss Weasley? Professor McGonagall asked to tell Miss Weasley that her brother has arrived at Hogwarts, he is at the Great Hall now.”        “Finally!” Ginny jumped off the desk, startling the girl. She squeaked in surprise and nearly fell onto the ingredients cabinet. Ginny grabbed her at the last moment.        “Professor, can I go?” she wasn’t sure whether it was necessary to ask permission and decided not to upset the professor.        “Yes, yes, of course, go! We’ve got the potion almost ready, I’ll send Miss Granger to the hospital wing with it,” Slughorn said good-naturedly, stroking his walrus mustache.        Ginny grabbed her things and ran to the stairs, nearly hitting the unfortunate first-year with her bag. She couldn’t wait to see her brothers. She looked forward to their reaction, because even she wanted to see Emma. Descending from the sixth floor didn’t take long, a lanky figure with hair gathered in a ponytail loomed in front of the doors of the Great Hall.        “Bill!” Ginny flew up to her brother, hugging him.        “I asked off and came as soon as I could. It’s true?” Bill looked Ginny in the eyes, as if not believing what was happening. Ginny smiled and nodded at him, noticing her brother’s relief.        “We found her.”        “Mr. Weasley, here you are,” Professor McGonagall hurried to them. “Is the potion ready yet, Miss Weasley?”        “Yes, Hermione should have carried it in by now.”        “Fine,” McGonagall nodded and began to say something to Bill. At this point, Ginny was distracted by Jimmy Peakes, a fifth-year Gryffindor Beater.        “Ginny, hey! What’s with tomorrow’s training? Coote said you were preparing a new strategy.”

       Ginny lingered (Peakes couldn’t figure out why she wanted training early Saturday morning) and lost sight of Bill and Professor McGonagall. She caught up with them only at the entrance to the hospital wing, they were fiercely arguing about something.        “With all due respect, Mr. Weasley, I intend to speak to Miss Anderson myself first.”        “With all due respect, Professor,” Bill held back with all his might not to rush into the hospital wing right now. “When she wakes up, she will need friends, not conversations and inquiries!”        “What do you think you’re doing, speaking to me like that?”

       The squabble was interrupted by a frightened squeal from Hermione outside the door. The three of them burst into the hospital wing, wands ready. Hermione huddled against the wall by the screened back bed where Emma lay, and held her head with both hands. Ginny rushed to her, helping her up, and Bill ran to Emma’s bed. Emma was unconscious and tossed about as if in a fever.        “Emma, this is Bill, please listen to my voice…”        Ginny and Professor McGonagall led Hermione to a nearby bed.        “She was in my head!” shrieked a trembling Hermione.        “Eat this, dear,” Madam Pomfrey handed her a piece of chocolate. “Eat, eat, it helps not only from the Dementors.”        “Poppy, what happened?” McGonagall looked worried.        “It looks like the girl is — ”        “Legilimens. Emma is Legilimens,” Bill came out from behind the screen. “She calmed down, now she is sleeping. Hermione, how are you? Sorry, she didn’t mean to hurt you.”        Hermione nodded softly, taking another bite of the chocolate.        “If she’s a born Legilimens, it could be a defensive reaction,” Madam Pomfrey said. “I gave her the first portion and asked Miss Granger to look after her. I walked away literally for a minute.”        “She started tossing and turning, I wanted to help, but as soon as I touched her,” Hermione spoke in a stronger voice. She waved her hands as if reading an invisible book. “I felt her in my head, she seemed to rummage through my memories. I couldn’t do anything! And then — ”        Hermione frowned and fell silent as she shoved the last piece of chocolate into her mouth.        “You will be alright,” Madam Pomfrey nodded busily. “However, Anderson needs a second portion.”        Professor McGonagall cast a hesitant glance at the screen, which didn’t hide from Bill.        “You want to keep her like this just because you’re afraid of her?” Bill spoke calmly, but his clenched fists betrayed him.        “I just think we should take some precautions before Miss Anderson harms anyone else,” McGonagall said.        “Harms?” Bill snorted. “Professor, you know Emma.”        “She went into Miss Granger’s head in an unconscious state, who knows what she’ll do when she regains consciousness. Waking up will make her extremely receptive and impulsive,” McGonagall said anxiously. Ginny knew the professor was floundering between pity for her former student and fear for her current students.        “Therefore, there must be a friend nearby. I won’t let her “harm” herself or anyone else. Please, Professor.”        McGonagall sighed heavily and looked behind the screen as Madame Pomfrey poured Emma a second shot of the potion.        “Fine, Mr. Weasley,” McGonagall nodded, pursing her lips. “But I want to talk to her when she’s stronger."        “Thank you,” Bill instantly returned to Emma, McGonagall watched him go and walked away.        “How are you?” Ginny and Hermione were silent before, watching Bill and McGonagall.        “Harry said that occlumency is difficult, but I couldn't believe that blocking thoughts is so hard,” Hermione spoke a little distantly, thinking about something else. “I need to check something in the library.”        “I’ll come with you,” Ginny said.        “I’m fine, don’t. Go to them, there you are more needed now,” Hermione picked up her heavy bag and headed after McGonagall.

       Bill sat motionless on a chair by the bed. For several minutes that seemed to last forever, they were both silent.        “Why doesn’t it work?” Bill muttered to no one in particular.        At that moment, Emma sighed heavily and opened her eyes with a slight groan. Bill jumped up and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked relieved and scared at the same time. Emma raised herself slightly and narrowed her eyes in displeasure.        “Merlin, what happened to me? Have I been drinking?”        She looked around and frowned at Bill sitting next to her.        “Bill? Am I in the hospital wing?”        “Eh... yeah,” Bill said in a voice hoarse with excitement. Ginny noticed that he had turned to Emma with a side where his scars were not so visible.        “What I’m doing here? Wait, what are you doing here? Oh, Merlin,” Emma blinked frequently, still half asleep. “Head is splitting, I don’t remember last evening at all.”        “Emma,” Bill tried to get her attention. But Emma cursed and sat up abruptly in bed.        “We’ll miss the train! What time is it?” she looked at her wristwatch, frowned and tapped it with her fingernail. “Damn, the watch’s broken.”        “Emma,” Bill called out to her again. Emma gave him a more attentive look now. “Listen…”        “Your hair,” she pointed to his hair pulled back into a ponytail. “It's longer.”        Emma sat up more comfortably in bed and turned to see Bill’s face. She gasped and raised her hand to his scars, but didn’t dare to touch them.        “Bill, what happened to you?” her gaze ran over his face, noticing more and more changes. Bill placed his hand gently on her arm. Emma flinched slightly, as if a complete stranger was sitting in front of her. “Bill, I don’t understand…”        “Emma, it’s not about me. The thing is, you slept for seven years.”        Emma laughed hysterically.        “Very funny. Whose idea is this? Tulip, Tonks?” hearing the last name, Ginny, who had previously been unnoticed by the wall, sighed sharply, attracting Emma’s attention. “Who’s that?        “I’m Ginny. Ginny Weasley, remember me?” Ginny took a step forward, resisting the urge to run away and leave Bill. Emma looked closely and shook her head sharply.        “Gin?” Ginny smiled and nodded, only Emma called her that. Emma looked from Ginny to Bill. “I don’t understand. This is the most stupid prank ever. You brought Ginny here, gave her an Ageing Potion. You even shifted my watch. Is Charlie also involved?”        “Emma,” it hurt Bill to look at her, but he spoke very seriously. “You know I never lied to you. Besides, I would never trick you like that. And now I ask you to believe me. You have an infallible way of checking that I’m telling the truth. Emma shook her head and looked at him with resentment and even anger.        “I promised that I’d never do it with my friends. I won’t get into your head! This is stupid!”        “Please,” Bill said quietly. “Just a couple of memories. Trust me please.”

       Emma’s cheekbones twitched and she nodded resignedly. She looked into his eyes intently, after a couple of moments her gaze defocused. Bill staggered slightly and clutched at the blanket. It all lasted less than a minute, but it looked pretty creepy. Ginny had never seen anyone use Legilimency, especially since Emma did it without a wand and spells. She had heard about Legilimency from Harry, and before that, as a child, some legends. It was said that natural-born Legilimenses could communicate with a person, even if the interlocutor didn’t utter a word.        Ginny didn’t know what kind of memories Bill was showing, but when Emma finally broke the connection, she looked shocked and panted.        “So, yesterday was seven years ago,” she said, as if she’d been doused with cold water.        “What’s the last thing you remember?” Bill asked softly.        “Charlie. I remember Charlie. We parted and I went to the bedroom to pack my things. And I found there — there was — oh Merlin… there was a black feather, a message from R,” Emma put her head in her hands and sighed tornly. Bill didn’t rush her. She looked at him intently, a single tear streaming down her cheek. Emma’s nose was twitching, as if she was not letting emotions spill out, her voice became deep and hard. “It is true, isn’t it? Those bastards finally got to me.”        Bill nodded very slowly, not taking his eyes off Emma, and took her hand in his. Emma sighed again heavily and hid her face.        “Seven years,” she muttered. “Seven years…”

       Ginny felt a heaviness in her heart, it seemed to her that she was meddling in something too personal. She stepped imperceptibly behind the screen and sat down on the next bed. Bill was talking to Emma in an undertone. It seemed like an eternity when Ginny heard Emma laugh. At that moment, the door of the hospital wing opened and George came in, out of breath. Madam Pomfrey glanced discontentedly out of her office, but said nothing. George was wearing his trademark Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes robe, with a dark smudge of soot on his cheek.        “Bill sent a message. Did you really find Emma?”        “They’re talking now. Charlie’s not with you?” Ginny tried to wipe the soot off her brother’s cheek, but only smudged it harder.        “He’s not here yet?” George raised an eyebrow in surprise. “I thought he’d be the first to come.”        Ginny put her head behind the screen.        “What do you think?” Bill showed Emma his earring.        “Oh, it’s terrible! I like it!”        “Can we join?” George leaned out too, smiling broadly. “Someone said our old friend has been found! So which of us is little one now?”        Emma looked closely, trying to determine which of the twins was standing in front of her. Her gaze ran over his slightly narrowed eyes and freckled face.        “Georgie!” she smiled happily and opened her arms to embrace him. “You're all grown up so much.”        “Hey, whitehead!” George hugged her back. “Ron and Percy say hi, but since they are big dummies, they won’t be coming.”        Emma laughed out loud, which Ginny thought was a little forced and unnatural, and finally noticed George’s missing ear.        “Damn, you didn’t take care of yourself at all! Well, then you and Fred will now be easier to distinguish,” she smiled again, but the corners of her lips quickly crawled down when she noticed their faces. “By the way, where is Fred? Didn’t want to come too?”        Ginny’s heart sank. George opened his mouth, but only a gurgling sound escaped from his throat, and he fell silent. Emma looked at them uncomprehendingly.        “Fred died in the war,” Bill said quietly, squeezing her hand. Emma gave a nervous laugh and shook her head.        “No,” she covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed. “No. Oh Merlin, why…”        Bill put his arm around her, stroking her shoulder.        “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wiping the tears running down her cheeks with her sleeve. She lifted her head, looked into George’s eyes and said again, “I’m so sorry.”        George nodded gratefully. He understood everything she wanted to say with this short phrase. Ginny thought he would have understood Emma without words. Over the past four months, each of them has heard a lot of condolences, people made long and meaningless speeches, clapped on the shoulder, shook their heads. People felt they had to say something to ease their pain. But the pain did not go away, it remained a huge wound, and any memory made it bleed. But Emma didn’t try to comfort them, her gaze seemed to say: “I know that you are in pain, and it will hurt for a very long time. And I’m sorry about that”.

       Suddenly Emma frowned, looked at Bill, Ginny and George in turn, cast a frightened glance at the empty chair by her bed. Her eyes filled with tears again.        “And Charlie — Is Charlie too — ” a trembling voice broke and Emma began to shake slightly.        “No! No, no, no!” Bill grabbed her again, hugging her. “Charlie’s fine, he’ll be here soon! He’s alive, Charlie’s alive, Charlie is alive…”        Bill repeated this, rocking the trembling Emma, who was shaking her head lightly, as if trying to push away the reality mixed with her fears. This was the last straw of emotions overwhelming her. All this time, she hadn’t let them get the better of her, but everyone had weaknesses. Charlie was Emma’s weakness, and Ginny knew for a fact, Emma was Charlie’s main weakness. Tears rolled down from her eyes like a hail, she was sobbing and hungrily gasping for air, unable to stop the hysteria.        “Emma, drink this,” Bill’s voice sounded soothing and quiet, he handed Emma a glass of calming potion. “You need to get some rest.”        But Emma didn’t seem to hear him, her trembling fingers slid over the glass and fell helplessly. Bill, holding her head, helped her take a couple of sips and put her to bed. A minute later, Emma’s breathing evened out, her face took on a serene look, she fell asleep. Bill carefully wiped the tears from her face, straightened her disheveled hair and covered her with a blanket.

       They stood in silence for a few minutes, then finally Bill carefully got out of bed, trying not to disturb Emma. He looked at George and Ginny defiantly, as if expecting taunts, but they both stood with mournful faces. Ginny brushed away the tears that had come to her eyes, only now beginning to realize the nightmare that Emma was in. If her return was a miracle to her friends, it was more of a curse to herself.        “I think I’ll go,” George said awkwardly, Bill nodded.        “I’ll go talk to McGonagall. I want to take Emma to Fleur and me when she gets stronger.” Already on the way out, he muttered under his breath, “Where the hell is Charlie?”

       Ginny was left alone in the room, looking at Emma. The sun was shining through the windows in rare rays, shadows lay like wrinkles on the tear-stained face of the sleeping girl. It seemed that Emma had aged in a moment for the seven years that had disappeared from her life. Ginny tried to imagine what it would feel like to wake up a few years later and find out that her friends had grown up or died in the war. What it’s like to not belong to this time, and not be able to go back.        She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice how time had passed. Madam Pomfrey clinked some jars and Ginny, throwing another glance at Emma, headed out of the hospital wing.

[snappedsky]

Fanatics 80.3

The Battalion goes on the search for the rest of Carcas’ rebels.

*Links to previous and next chapters in reblog*

--

Return of Carcas Part 3

           Dib paces back and forth across the floor of Zim’s lab, constantly checking the time. “Pepito and Tak have been gone way too long,” he points out in concern.

           “Something must’ve happened,” Gaz says apathetically, not even looking up from her Game Slave.

           “Of course something happened!” he exclaims, frustrated.

           “Alright,” Zim snaps, “we’ll go look for them. Skoodge!”

           “Yes?” the smaller Irken questions as he slides into the room.

           “Lock Uu in one of the cells,” Zim orders, pointing to their captive alien on the floor. “We’ll be back later.”

           “Ah, okay,” Skoodge nods and picks up Uu with his spider legs, carrying her away while Zim, Dib, and Gaz go into the elevator.

           “We’ll go to the crash site of Uu’s shuttle,” Zim declares, “most likely, one of her comrades went there looking for her and ran into Pepito and Tak. So be ready for a fight.”    

           “Surely the two of them would be able to handle a fight,” Gaz argues as they exit the elevator and head for the front door. “I mean we all defeated those losers one-on-one.”

           “They could’ve been ambushed,” Dib points out, “or maybe Carcas’ crew has some new weapons and tricks. We don’t know.”

           “Exactly,” Zim agrees, “we must be ready for anything.”

           They open the front door to see Squee standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.

           “Oh,” Squee says, “hey, guys.”

           Zim, Dib, and Gaz stare at him dumbly for a second before exclaiming, “Squee!”

           Dib lashes out, excitedly squeezing Squee’s shoulders. “It’s so good to see you! You look great!”

           “Wh-uh-r-really?” Squee questions, smiling awkwardly.

           “Well, kind of,” Gaz shrugs.        

           In the three weeks since he’s been away, Squee’s appearance has changed a bit. His hair is a little scruffier and there are dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep. But he’s wearing new clothes: a black sweater with purple stripes across the sleeves and a black t-shirt displaying the scowling face of Happy Noodle Boy.

           “In any case,” Zim says, “it is good to have you back.”

           Squee smiles gratefully. “Thanks, guys.”            An obnoxious cough from behind interrupts their reunion. They look back to where the Night Terrors and Johnny are standing, looking rather impatient.

           “Hate to rush you, Boss, but uh…” Reverend Meat trails off and motions to the body bag wrapped in ropes tucked under his arm.

           “Ah, right,” Squee nods and looks back at his friends. “So uh can we come in?”

           “Yes, yes, of course,” Zim replies. After everyone has entered the living room, Reverend Meat drops the bag onto the floor. Whatever’s inside lets out an annoyed grunt.

           “What is that?” Dib asks.

           “A familiar face,” Squee replies and nods to the Doughboys. “Open it.”

           They quickly untie the ropes and pull off the bag, revealing the captive to be an alien, bound and gagged. He’s covered in black fur with dragonfly-like wings and a long scaly tail.

           “Mixxar!” Dib exclaims.

           The alien looks up at him, snarling angrily into his gag.

           “He tried to attack the house,” Squee explains.

           “Interrupted our board game,” Johnny pouts, “and I was so close to becoming Epic Lord.”

           “But he didn’t stand a chance against us,” Eff says proudly.

           “This is perfect!” Zim exclaims excitedly and starts rifling through Mixxar’s pouches. “Does he still have-yes, he does!”

           He stands up, victoriously holding out a device that looks like a handheld radio.

           “What’s that?” Squee asks.

           “A communicator,” Zim replies, “and the source of their demise. With this, we’ll be able to track the rest of them down. Skoodge!”

           “Yes?” the little Irken questions as he slides into the room.

           “Take Mixxar and lock him up with Uu,” he orders.

           “Ah, okay,” Skoodge nods and picks up the bound alien with his spider legs before scurrying away.

           “You already have Uu?” Squee asks.

           “Yes, but she didn’t have her communicator,” Zim replies, “Computer! Release hacking cord.”            A cord hangs down from the ceiling and Zim plugs it into the communicator. The television turns on, briefly showing lines of code before a map of the city and surrounding area pops up. It shows five red dots, mostly spread out outside of the city. But two are clustered together and one is at Zim’s house.

           “That one is clearly Mixxar’s communicator,” Zim says, pointing to the one at his house. Then he points to the two clustered together. “That’s at the site of Uu’s crash. Someone else must be there.”

           “With Pepito and Tak,” Dib points out.

           “Oh, yeah. I was wondering where they are,” Squee says.

           “Right,” Zim nods, “we need to deal with all of them quickly but also help Pepito and Tak. Ugh, we’re stretched thin.”

            “The Night Terrors can help,” Squee points out.

           Zim looks at them, like he completely forgot about them until just now. “Oh, yeah! Okay, we’ll split into four of groups of two. Dib and I-.”

           “I’ll go with Squee,” Dib declares.

           “But-I…ugh, fine. I’ll take Gaz,” Zim groans.

           “Don’t sound so excited,” she grunts.

           “We’ll go after that farthest dot.”

           “Why?” she questions.

           “Because I hope it’s Carcas,” he growls, “Dib, Squee, you two go for this dot here. And the Night Terrors will help Pepito and Tak. Alright, everyone, split!”

           The Night Terrors dive out the door and leap onto the buildings and Zim activates his PAK rockets and carries Gaz off while Dib and Squee watch them leave.

           “How are we gonna get there?” Squee asks.

           “We’ll take my dad’s car,” Dib replies, “just gotta stop at my house.”

           Squee nods and looks at Johnny. “And what are you gonna do?”

           “Guess I’ll go to the house and unpack,” he replies, “but if you need help, just call.”            “I will.”

           Dib and Squee hurry to Dib’s house and get his car. As they drive to their location, they chat a little about Squee’s vacation.

           “It was nice for the most part,” Squee replies, “nice to take a break. I learned some little tricks. Literally, tricks. I taught myself close-up magic.”

           “Why?” Dib asks with amusement.

           “I dunno. Fun? Check it out.” Squee reaches behind Dib’s ear and pulls his hand back holding a coin. “You got a coin behind your ear.”

           “That’s pretty impressive,” he smiles, “you should show that to Zim. It’ll blow his mind.”

           They share a laugh as they exit the city.

           Dib drives the car down the highway as close as he can get to the location before pulling over into the ditch. He and Squee get out and continue on foot.

           “We’re probably gonna be in for a fight,” Dib points out, “you up for that?”            “I might be a bit rusty,” Squee warns, “but I’ll do my best.”

           “Well, don’t worry,” he grins, “I can carry the team.”

           After going around a group of trees, they stop just short of a crater with an escape pod similar to Uu’s. Dib and Squee glance around carefully for a second before sliding down to the shuttle.

           “Doesn’t look like anyone’s here,” Squee observes.

           “They couldn’t be far,” Dib warns, “keep an eye out while I check out the shuttle.”

           Squee reaches around his back and unsheathes his two knives, looking around suspiciously, while Dib crawls into the pod. The tech inside seems simple, albeit alien, with only a couple buttons on the console next to the seat. It’s mostly empty, except for the communicator sitting on the cushion.

           While Dib’s poking around inside the shuttle, Squee hears a rustling from the top of the crater. He spins around and sees nothing, however he knows they’re not alone.

           He carefully eyes their surroundings, knives raised. He hears more movement to his right and turns just in time to see a large slug creature leaping towards him.

           “Dib!” Squee cries and leaps backwards, dodging the long swords the slug is wielding with her long arms. As she lands, she glares at him with her one big eye.

           “That’s Yrel’ian!” Dib exclaims as he gets out of the shuttle. Squee scuttles over to his side as she points at them, saying something in her alien language.

           “I-I don’t have a translator,” Squee says.

           “It’s okay, I got mine,” Dib says, “she said ‘when Uu and Mixxar disappeared, I knew you’d use their communicators to track us. So I lured you here’.”

           “Ah. Very clever.”

           “Give up, Yrel’ian!” Dib snaps, pointing at the alien. “You’re outnumbered.”

           “I don’t have to defeat you in battle,” she retorts, “to defeat you.”

           “What’d she-?” Squee starts to ask but is cut off when Yrel’ian opens her mouth and spits out a large, green loogie. It lands inches from Squee’s feet, causing him yelp and jump into Dib. They both lose their balance and crash into the pod. Before they can collect themselves, Yrel’ian closes the hatch, locking them inside.

           “Hey!” Dib barks as she slithers off. He pushes against the hatch but it doesn’t budge. “Uh oh.” He fumbles around for some kind of handle, but there is none.

           “Okay, it’s fine,” he says, “there must be a button on the console that opens it. This is no…problem…”

           He trails off as he looks at Squee, who is staring at the hatch, eyes widened in fear and panic and breathing increasing rapidly.

           Dib watches him in concern, suddenly remembering his extreme claustrophobia. “Uh oh…”

[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (Part 5)

Bakugo X Reader 

Words: 3060 

*****************************************************************************************************

You watched as your boss... former boss scurried away in fear. Doing exactly what Bakugo said. He packed his shit up and left. You were tapping your foot in frustration as you spun around to face the source of your anger. “Why did you do that?”

Bakugo’s eyes widened. Not expecting you to be angry with him for protecting you, “What the fuck? What do you mean why did I do that? He grabbed your ass! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! He said he was going to make your life difficult!”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “So what? You threaten to blow up his face? That doesn't make you any better than him. You're better than that Bakugo.”

Bakugo began to pace running his hands through his hair like a madman, “Look I’m sorry if you have this idealistic nice guy hero version of me stuck in your head, but I have news for you. I’m only that guy... when it concerns you! To everyone else in the world I’m an asshole with a bad temper. I’m not going to apologize for making a scumbag who violated you, piss his pants. He deserved much worse than what he got.”

You could see he was beginning to work himself up and knew it wouldn't do any good to push him so instead you took a deep breath and sat down on the couch pulling him with you. You held his hand in yours, playing with his fingers. “Listen I know who you are. I would never in a million years try to change you. But I do think sometimes its important to pick your battles. Remember there’s a difference between villains and just plain, every day bad people. Yes Riku was an asshat and a sleezeball. But there’s plenty of ways to deal with a guy like him that dosen’t involve threats and violence.” You scooted closer and leaned your head on his stiff shoulder, “I appreciate that you care about me. But at some point you’re going to have to let me fight my own battles...” 

You felt him sigh and moments later his arm was slug around you, pulling you closer. “Do I have to?” He put his chin on top of your head, “You’ve already had to fight most of your life Y/n... I don't stick up for you because I don’t think you’re capable. I’ve seen your dreams... I know exactly how capable you are.” You flinched. You had no idea you had been sucking him into your dreams. “I stick up for you because you shouldn't have to fight anymore. You deserve to be happy and anyone who thinks otherwise deserves a foot up their ass.” 

A single tear slid down your cheek. The only time you had ever felt like this before was... your dad. This sense of protection, devotion... was it love? Is this what love felt like? You knew there were many different forms of love. Books had taught you that much. But this didn't feel like a friendly platonic love. This burned so much deeper in your heart than that. 

Bakugo lifted your chin so he could see your face, “Shit are you crying? I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I shouldn’t have brought up your dreams. I’m an idio-” 

You reached up and gave him a soft peck on the lips. It felt so right. It felt so normal, like it was something you had been doing your whole life. “I’m not crying because I’m sad Bakugo... I’m crying because... well... I actually don't know why.. relief maybe? I’ve never had someone care about me the way that you do.. For a while I never thought I would. I never thought someone could ever....”

You cut yourself off. You almost said ‘love me’ but you couldn't put those words in his mouth. They needed to be his own.

You cast your eyes to your lap but Bakugo’s warm hand cupped your cheek and brought your eyes back to him. “Love you... is that what you were going to say?” 

Your eyes watered in embarrassment. You had never wanted Bakugo to see this fragile part of you. “So what if it was?”

Bakugo pressed his forehead to yours, “So what if I do?” 

Your heart started to pound as you rapidly tried to blink your tears away. “I would say theres plenty of girls out there who are easier to love than me.” 

He had your face cupped between both of hands now “I don’t want easy... I want you.” 

Your lips crashed against his in a much hungrier kiss than before. Your fingers ran through his soft blonde hair and one of his hands trailed down to find your hip. Things were heating up when you heard someone shout. 

“FINALLY” You both jerked apart to see Tasha giving you a goofy smile, “It’s about fucking time! I’ve literally watched you guys tip toe around each other for weeks now!” She continued to wipe down the counter, “Oh sorry for eavesdropping but it honestly was hard not to. I called the owner by the way. Everything’s good here. Looks like I got a promotion and you got a raise. Happy day.” She looked up from the machine she was currently cleaning, “I’ll teach you how to do this some other night. I think you too should get home and continue your uh... conversation.” 

Your jaw dropped, “Tasha I-”

Before you could protest Bakugo was up and hauled you over his shoulder, “Don’t have to fucking tell me twice. Good night Tasha! I’m sure I’ll see you soon!”

You waved at a laughing Tasha as you dangled over Bakugo’s shoulder. She just shook her head, “Be safe! Drink plenty of water! Remember to pee when you’re done!.. Oh and take snack breaks!”

You blushed so hard you were sure you were a darker shade of red than Bakugo’s eyes. 

He stepped outside and put you down on the sidewalk and reached for your hand. You walked in silence for what seemed like forever. His hand gave yours a gentle squeeze, “So are we going to talk about it oooooor?” 

You leaned into him a bit, “I guess I’m still trying to process everything.”

He tensed up a bit but tried to not let it show, “You’re not having second thoughts are you?”

You shook your head and snuggled further into his side, “Of course not I ju-”

He interrupted you, “Because I wouldn't blame you if you were. I know I’m an asshole. I know you deserve a lot more than me...”

You stopped walking dragging him to a complete halt along with you. You could see the apprehension in his eyes. He was nervous. THE Ground Zero was standing in front of you actually looking a bit scared. “Bakugo, how could you say that. You’ve done nothing but take care of me since I got here. You may not think so but you are patient, and kind, and caring. You just show it in weird ways. If anything I don't deserve you.”

He groaned and pulled you to his chest, “How many fucking times do I have to tell you that you deserve to be happy. You deserve the fucking world. You deserve to be loved, and protected, and cherished. So god damnit just LET ME...you stubborn woman”

You giggled as you gave his chest a kiss, “Enough of this heavy shit. Take me home.”

You see the tips of his ears turn the slightest shade of pink as he leaned down and connected your lips. “Already so bossy.”

You took his hand as you continue towards the apartment, “Already so whipped?” You playfully bumped his hip with yours. 

He scoffed, “I’ve been whipped since day one. Catch up.” 

You immediately changed into one of his hoodies as soon as you got home and he went strait to the kitchen to start cooking dinner. You strolled past him and opened the fridge to get something to drink. You leaned over a bit to reach a bottled water near the back of the fridge, when you heard him drop the spoon he had just been using onto the counter. “Pants Y/n... I know you own some because I was the one who bought them... yet. you dont seem to wear any... ever. Are you trying to kill me?”

You wiggled your butt as you leaned further to finally grab the water, “Well I didnt wear any before and I dont see the point in starting now...”

When you straightened up you realized he was now standing right behind you. “You also seem to only want to wear my clothes. Not that I’m complaining.” He pressed his chest against your back, his breath hot on your neck. 

You leaned into him, “The only thing more comfortable than your clothes.. is when you hold me at night when you think I’m asleep. Nothing beats your strong arms wrapped around me. That’s the only time I can really sleep. Other than that.. your clothes are a close second.” 

His hands dipped beneath the hem of his hoodie that you were wearing, “Well I don’t know if I like the competition...” His hands drifted upwards over your naked stomach, barely grazing the underside of your breasts before he yanked them back down and spun you around to face him. Pressing you into the fridge behind you and gave your forehead a sweet kiss. “I also think I need to feed you considering you didnt eat lunch earlier.” He gave you another kiss on your lips this time, “So stop teasing me before I burn the food.” 

You reached to your tippy toes and gave him a kiss on his nose. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I just wanted a bottle of water. You're the one who can't seem to control himself.” 

You had no idea where this new found confidence was coming from. You hadn't had any experience in any of this before. Flirting? nope.. relationships? nope.... Sex? BIG NOPE. Yet here you are. Figuring it out as you go. Total trust that he’s not going to hurt you. You turned away from him and headed towards the kitchen table. His hand came out of nowhere and gave your ass a playful swat. Which he immediately regretted. “Hey, I’m sorry. Was that too much? I’m trying to go at your pace but sometimes my instincts take over and-”

“You’re fine. I’ll let you know if it’s ever too much. I’m not fragile.”

He returned to his cooking, “Believe me I know you’re tough. But I don’t want to accidentally take advantage of you.” 

You sipped on your water bottle while you thought about it. “Well I guess I’ll have to trust that your intentions are in the right place and you’ll have to trust that I’ll let you know when I’m feeling overwhelmed.” 

He nodded, “Well my intentions may not be as pure as you’re thinking...” He gave you a devilish smirk, “But I would never intentionally hurt you.” 

You bit your lip, “Well that’s all I ask.”

That night was the first night you slept in Bakugo’s bed. Sure there had been a few times you had woken up to him in your bed but never had you slept in his. You curled up to his chest and intertwined your legs. His lips found the top of your head and mumbled a good night before sleep found both of you. 

It didn’t take you long to realize you were in his dreams. He didn’t know you were there though and it felt like an invasion of privacy. But it was just too cute to not watch. He was dreaming of you... on a lazy day around the apartment. But before you knew it, it was shifting into more of a steamy dream... So you backed out and let him have his little fantasy. He deserved a good night sleep for once.

The next morning he was up bright and early. Off to work another day as Ground Zero. He showered you with kisses before he finally dragged himself out of bed and headed out. 

You slept for a few more hours before getting up yourself. Wrapped in a blanket you made your way to the living room with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. You really enjoyed doing crossword puzzles in the morning. Bakugo teased you about it and called you a nerd, but he secretly thought it was adorable. 

And so this became your routine. Every night he would make you dinner. You’d go to bed. Sometimes you’d make out for a bit but never more than that. Then in the morning you either got up and got ready for work together or you'd sleep in and do a crossword puzzle. A week had passed by like this and honestly you were pretty content. 

Today was no different. You were almost finished with your puzzle when the phone rang. You assumed it was just Bakugo checking in on you so you shuffled over to pick it up. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Y/n! It’s Tash.”

“Oh hey Tasha.. was I supposed to work today?”

“Oh no! You don’t work again until tomorrow night. There was just... uh. This guy who came in looking for you. It as kind of weird. He said he was friends with your mom? Were you expecting anyone?”

Your blood ran cold, “No... he said he knew my mom?”

“Yeah, said they used to do business together or something. I didnt tell him you work here or wear you live or anything. But I thought you should know. I kind of heard more of your conversation with Bakugo the other night than I should have. Y/n if your in some kind of trouble...” 

You sighed, “Thanks Tasha but its something I’m going to have to figure out on my own. Sorry I need to call Bakugo. I may not be able to make it in tomorrow...”

“I understand... Take care of yourself.” 

“I will. Let me know if he comes back.”

You hung up the phone and paced for a bit. You needed to call Bakugo but he was going to go into strait panic mode. You worked up the nerve and dialed his number. 

The phone rang a few times before you heard it connect but it wasn’t Bakugo’s voice on the other end...

“Hello there y/n, funny you’d call. Bakugo and I were just talking about you.”

You sighed in relief, “Hey Kiri.. Usually I’d love to help you embarrass our favorite hot head, but right now I really need to talk to him.” 

You heard a muffled ‘dumbass’ followed by a scuffle before Bakugo got to the phone. “Sorry about that. Shitty hair doesn't really have boundaries... What’s going on? Are you okay?”

When you didnt answer right away he grew nervous. “Y/n what's wrong?”

You were chewing on your lip so hard it began to bleed. A bad habit you thought you had gotten rid of. “I dont know how... but. I think they found me..”

“WHAT?! How? Why? Whats going on? Are they there? I’m coming home.”

You could feel your breathing start to tighten as you tried to hold your panic back, “No they’re not here. But someone came looking for me at the coffee house. Tasha called me. They said they did business with my mom...” 

Bakugo cleared his throat, “So you know then? About what your mom did?”

You sniffled, “Of course I know. I still remember her handing me over. Telling me they were friends and I was going to have so much fun at ‘camp’”

You wiped a tear from your cheek as a loud knock on the door pulled you away from your thoughts.

“What was that?” Bakugo barked through the phone. 

“Someones at the door..”

“Y/n.. for the love of god dont answer it. You hear me. I’m on my way.”

You approached the door and looked through the peephole. “Relax it’s just the food I ordered.” 

“I dont fucking care! There’s food in the kitchen! Dont answer the fucking door!” 

The person knocked again. He looked innocent enough. “It’s just food Bakugo.” You opened the door. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but he was definitely yelling on his end of he phone. 

You paid the man and shut the door. You brought the phone up to your ear and wished you hadn't because he was going on a tangent. “Your life is in danger and what do you do? YOU OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR FOR ANYBODY THAT HAS FOOD!” 

You rolled your eyes, “I ordered a pizza. Meat lovers just the way you like it. You can finish yelling at me when you get here.” You hung up. Which you regretted as soon as you did it. He was just trying to keep you safe. 

You tossed the pizza on to the kitchen table and took a seat. You were too anxious to even think about eating right now. What felt like only seconds later Bakugo was bursting through the front door. “Well it’s good to know that you opened the door and risked your life for a pizza you aren't even going to eat...” 

He took the seat next to you and pulled his chair over so he was right in front of you. He reached out and took your hands, “I know this is scary. I know you'd rather pretend it wasnt happening. But it is. And we need to figure our shit out okay? I’m not going to let anything happen to you. But you need to listen to me. I cant do what I need to do to keep you safe if you don’t listen.”

You wordlessly nodded your head.

He sighed and reached for the lid to the pizza box. “No reason to let this go to waste.”

He opened it up and paused, “Pack your shit we’re leaving...”

Your head snapped up, “What?”

He stood up and sprinted towards his room, “I said we’re leaving!”

You looked at the open pizza box and gasped. 

The underside of the lid had a message, “Not even Ground Zero can keep you safe.”

*****************************

Tags : @opentheskeletonkey​ @carolinawindsay​ @targaryens-blog​ @fukyouthink​ @malibusurfer56​ @theoneforallkiddeku​ @ilikeanimeandbands​ @dexterous-deku @joonishantics​ @-hiddlesdweeb-​ @crimson846​ @emotions-and-potions 

[dontfeedthebear]

Today’s menu!

 Breakfast: 1 overeasy egg, slice of toast, 1 tsp butter, 1 nectarine, cup of coffee with 1tbsp milk + 1tsp sugar. (304 cal) Lunch: 6 veggie pizza stuffed mushrooms over a bed of brown rice. (241 cal) Dinner: Cream of wheat, 2tsp brown sugar, 1/2 grapefruit. (295 cal) Snack: Pickled cucumbers and peppers (30 cal)

TOTAL: 870 cal.

Yes, I am having ‘breakfast’ for dinner. Why? I work night shift, and that ‘dinner’ is actually going to be had at about 7:00 am.

My way of doing things is going to be weird to most people that read this, since I live my life like a nocturnal little gremlin. I’ve never been big on eating in the mornings, I’ve always been a night owl who slept in past breakfast time... I just can’t seem to make myself eat in the morning and if I do, it definitely can’t be anything heavy like burgers or chicken. It just feels wrong.

Some people might ask: “What fad diet are you following?”

The answer is: None... I’m simply eating normal food at the correct portion size. (and counting calories because there’s no losing weight without math apparently.)

I got the idea to diet when I was browsing an antique store and found a really pretty dress from the 1950′s. Waist sizes were an average 11 inches smaller than average waistlines today.

Most old clothing is pretty small, and while it’s to be expected since the 20′s-40′s were a period of scarcity and doing without, the 1950′s were actually an upturn. People had money and they were consumers again! Yay capitalism!

It was also a period of dubious culinary experimentation. I will never, ever let an ‘aspic’ touch my lips. Leftovers are fine. Jello is fine. Together? They make the worst matrimony of both spongy and slippery textures. I imagine it’s a lot like eating boiled slugs gone cold and I will not waste food or time on such revolting endeavors...

So how did they stay so skinny, despite eating jello molds of foods laden with lard, butter, sugar, gluten and everything bad that today’s diet gurus preach against? Simple. Serving sizes were smaller and people actually ate from 7 food groups not the 4 we have today. There were also more veggies and fruit in their diet! Shocking concept I know.

Our food pyramid has changed drastically from that 1950′s model and several times in the last few decades. The 1970′s brought on the beginning of the end to tiny waistlines: the lowfat, high carb diet came into fashion and our waist lines exploded. Turns out that lowfat isn’t exactly the healthiest diet after all. (Not to mention that insipid eggs & wine diet that Vogue reprinted. How vile the bathrooms must have smelled afterwards!)

I have noticed while studying about diets that the trend is to idolize one ‘superfood’ or to gravitate to one type of food group. Atkins, Fruitarianism, anyone? That shit has to stop. We are omnivores, evolved with the teeth and everything. We need a balanced diet, which means a rotating plate of protein, fats, starch, vegetables and fruits. The fad diets need to end, because they are literally killing people. Talk to a doctor if you want to go on a special diet. Not some holistic nutjob though, please. 

Anyway...

My mother was an awful cook. She was the product of a household that just cooked to fill your stomach up and not really about making something that tasted good or was actually good for you. Quantity was the name of the game in my grandmother’s household. I barely remember her meals whenever I visited, most of it was boxed or frozen. My mother continued that trend, sadly.

I associated home cooked meals with rubbery, overcooked chicken, dried out fish fillets, tough as leather pork chops and chewy, stringy cuts of beef. So I lived off sandwiches and snacks like chips, cakes, and cookies. Not to mention my biggest weakness: Soda. I drank liters of the shit at a time and I could not tell you if I ever drank a glass of water as a kid and not be made a liar. I’ve probably permanently damaged my kidneys and liver from filtering coca-cola for years. (how my teeth survived this long is a miracle!)

I always hated pork and fish. I was extremely picky about beef too. Chicken was on thin ice, but I only liked it fried or smothered in cheese. I ate a lot of pasta, rice, and bread.

It clicked for me when I went to dinner at a friend’s house and her parents cooked salmon. I was paralyzed with the fear of being rude but salmon was the number one fish I despised. It was like eating tuna from a can but served hot and with a strong biting aftertaste. So I took a small portion with the intent to gag it down and fill my stomach with some rice.

Imagine my consternation when the salmon was soft, delicate and not ‘fishy’ at all. It tasted of butter, lemon and salt and I think I ate two helpings of it. Puzzled, I asked them what kind of salmon it was-- they said frozen sockeye, which really confused me because that was the same thing my mother used.

Eating my mother’s salmon the next week confirmed my fears: She couldn’t cook and I didn’t hate certain foods. I just couldn’t stomach her cooking. I think mom had a deep fear of food poisoning, which is why she cooked every piece of meat in our house to death. I never asked why and I never told her how I felt and she lives in ignorance of her failing every day. (My siblings know though, I caught their blank 50 yard stares when we visited her a few months back and had to eat her shoeleather porkchops.)

I was not confident in cooking for myself either, because I didn’t have anyone to teach me. Youtube wasn’t around at that time-- and even if it was I didn’t know about it. Ah, the infancy of the internet... I’m so glad the information highway has expanded today because now I have taught myself quite a lot of things besides how to actually cook a slice of meat or bake a cake.

Times have  certainly changed, sometimes for the worst. But a free and open internet is one thing I hope never changes, because I want to learn how to sew next.

[finestra-rp]

Dear ABBY NOLAN HAWKINS, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. You have 24 hours to send in your account and 48 hours after your follow is posted to be active!

Was that QUINCY FOUSE I just saw walking down the hallways? Oh wait, no - that was NOLAN HAWKINS. The MALE is a 20 year old HUFFLEPUFF who is in 9TH YEAR. I heard the MUGGLEBORN has chosen to SIDE WITH THE ORDER which explains why HE is OUTGOING and OPTIMISTIC, but also CLUMSY and NAIVE. But who really knows? (ooc: abby) DEATH TW, CAR CRASH TW,  Nolan was born to two muggle parents, both of which were clueless to the magic that existed. However, Nolan never got to know his parents because when he was just a few months old, they died in a serious car accident. One of which Nolan miraculously survived. They had rear-ended a car in front of them, both his parents practically dying on impact. Nolan was found crying by a nearby person who had witnessed the accident. After finding out that Nolan had no family who could take care of him, he was put into the foster care system. He was only in there for a few months though before the lady who had found him in the car, ended up adopting him. She’d felt a connection to him and thought he was rather special. Nolan grew up with his adopted mother, unaware for many years what had happened when he was a baby. She wanted to keep him happy, so she kept the story from him. He knew as he got older that he was adopted, but she would just tell him he’d been put up for adoption as a baby due to financial issues. It wasn’t until he was 13 that he found out the truth. Nolan was young when his mother began to notice something truly special about him. She hadn’t noticed it before, but depending on his mood, certain facial features of his would change. Literally. She’d also find small streaks of different colors in his hair, at first thinking it was him getting into colors and such. Hiding all of them from the young boy, she’d noticed it still happened. She could have taken him to a doctor, seen what was going on with her baby boy, but she knew exactly what was happening. His adoptive mother kept Nolan out of school, home schooling him so he wouldn’t have to deal with stories and such with people at school. She taught him things the public schools couldn’t. She’d know from the moment she met him that Nolan was special, and now she knew why. Raising him away from other kids, and making sure to keep his emotions neutral when out, she awaited the year he’d turn eleven. When the letter came, she had been relieved. That’s when her story came to young Nolan. Nolan soon found out that the woman who had adopted him had in fact been a witch, who graduated from Hogwarts only a few years before he had been born. Seeing the color of his hair and facial features change, she had learned quickly that he had to be a Metamorphmagus, and a young wizard. She’d wanted to keep him safe, to protect him from the muggle world and evil sources since his ability was so easily detected. She’d taught him how to control it, or at least as well as he could being so young. When the letter had came, his mother explained to him what this meant, he’d be meeting a lot of new people. People who would understand him and his gift. Nolan had been excited, he was ready to make friends and show off what he could do. His first year had been a little rough, not quite sure how to socialize with other people, but as the years went by, he got a whole lot better at it. Even being new at the whole friends thing, he was able to gain quite a few over his first few years at Hogwarts, even getting himself his best friend. During his third year, his mother had decided it was finally time to tell him the truth about what had happened to his parents. He was devastated for a while, but he also realized that she had been a great mother to him. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how it would have went had his real parents figured out what he was. What if they would have given him up anyways? He’d soon put it behind him, still wanting to be the happy kid he was. He’d soon gain a quick interest in dragons, having found a book on them one time and being unable to put it down. He found the creatures fascinating and wanted to learn all he could about them. That’s when he decided he wanted to study Dragonology, and would later in his years decide to major in it. Like dragons, Nolan finds most animals interesting. He loves all of them, except one. During his first year, some older kids had been messing with him. They’d noticed he hadn’t had much social interaction and decided to use it to their advantage. They made up a story about a wolf, one who’d eat kids like him, kids who could change like him. He didn’t know any better, and for a few years onward believed the story, no matter how many people would tell him it wasn’t true. Even after being convinced finally that no such wolf existed, the fear of a giant wolf eating him still stayed. He would have this fear to even this day, being his greatest fear. Boggart: - A giant wolf Patronus : Lion Quidditch: N/A Clubs: Art club, baking club, care for magical creatures, event committee, music and drama. slug club, and transfiguration  Prefect: N/A Major: Major in Dragonology, minor in transfiguration Wanted Connection: N/A Anything else?: he has a pet ferret named Bandit and a toad named Zeus

[fictionalabyss]

Do 'em all 🤣🤣

You jerk rofl. Okay, this is gonna take a while..

also under a readmore cuz long.

1. describe yourself.- Mel, 32, mom of two, mental health issues, and no idea of who I am or ever was.. lover, fighter, spiteful, friendlier than I’d care to admit. I think that about does it?

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be? I’d be willing to go to a lot of places, honestly. Scotland is top of the list if I can count a wedding as an expense haha.

3. do you have siblings? On my mothers side, no, I’m an only child. On my fathers side, I have a half brother, and two step brothers.  I haven’t seen them since I was 11 though, but they’ve been added to my fb and now ignore my existence there.

4. what is your favorite constellation, why? Don’t think I have a favourite.

5. favorite color. Don’t have one. I like different colours for different things, and even that can change with my mood.

6. what kind of music do you listen to? Pretty much everything. My workout music (basically the only time i have time for music) ranges from the 50′s cowboy and love songs all the way to more current EDM and some metal. You introduced me to Mongolian metal, and I’ve come across and Indian metal band that has a song about fighting depression, and I love them so much. I’m still sad to have missed both Babymetal and Alestorm (Scottish pirate metal) when they came to town. Alestorm actually offered me free tickets if they could name Matrim when I was pregnant rofl.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)  Wild flowers. I have violets that grow wild in my back yard and I love them.

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn? I think at most, I’d like to learn minor healing, or something that would attract goodness to people.

9. favorite childhood memory.The memory of Pat getting in the baby swing and yelling “push me on the swing, mommy!” and me pushing him as high as I could and leaving him there when he got stuck roflrofl. We were 9, and it’s basically how this relationship started. I was annoyed, he was in love. I’m still annoyed but now we’re both in love.

10. have you ever been cheated on? Not that I’m aware of, but that might not have been for a lack of trying. WORD ON THE STREET WAS one of my ex’s was trying to get with someone else while with me and was turned down.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be? Big and spacious. Super comfy bed, plenty of pillows. But also a little corner with a fort that I can be little in. Close proximity to both bathroom and kitchen for obvious reasons. Big window with cute curtains. and all the thing my current room has, but less unfolded laundry rofl.

12. favorite animal. Don’t have one, but it for sure isn’t a fkin slug I’ll tell you that. Pete the peeper ruined that for all slugs.

13. what was the last photo you took of? Luke’s new pokemon cards so I could show Pat while he was at work.

14. do you believe in soul mates? I do. I believe that soulmates aren’t just lovers, but that you can have many people that your soul resonates with. I had one, or thought I did, until I was dropped like hot garbage and shit was said behind my back like I’d never find out. The fucked up part, if I got an apology, I’d probably believe them and let them back into my life like I did last time. Because I’m a fucking sucker and a slave to my heart. But the more you hurt me, the harder you have to work for my trust so I’ll probably never get one. Too much work.

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under? I have a toddler, so under so he can’t just unravel the whole fucking thing into the toilet by slapping his hand on it.

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there. Greenstop and Poutine. They have this killer brown gravy omg.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason? yeah. Everything is either a consequence to our actions, or a lesson to be learned. Karma, my friend. And sometimes, bad shit just happens so you have room in your life for better things. That’s how I got you and Kay.

18. guilty pressures? You mean other than 80′s and 90′s one hit wonders?

19. favorite mythical creature, why? Dragon. Cuz...dragon?

20. something most people don’t know about you. Uh.. not everyone knows me to be as friendly as you tumblr peeps do. Truth is, I’m kind of known as a bitch in person. I don’t socialize well because of my crippling anxiety, and have RBF, so people just assume. Others know it as fact because I treat people the way they treat me.

21. where did you grow up, what was it like? at 8, I moved across the street from where I live now. Before that, I lived in ‘The Point’ but most of my childhood memories are of here. A lot of my neighbours are the same people. I grew up in the 90′s, so we use to play in the street day and night and there were no worries. I’d go from park to park, house to house, just wandering from place to place with my friends. No parents, just us, as long as I got everyone back out front by the time the street lights came on, and then it was hide and seek in the dark while all the parents drank on one of the balconies and watched. It’s not like that here anymore.

22. do you believe aliens exist? You’d be an idiot to think that we are the only lifeforms anywhere.

23. what was your last google search? Big Iron by Marty Robbins.

24. what did your last relationship teach you? You really wanna get into that? It taught me that no matter what I know about a person, I don’t know them. If they talk shit about other people to me, they are talking shit about me to other people. It taught me that just because they earned my trust once, doesn’t mean they should get a free pass on it for life, that I should make them keep earning it. And finally, than when they say “I’ll understand if it doesn’t work out” it’s bullshit. I’ll end up tossed aside and forgotten while I break. And when I realize I deserve better and move on, everything becomes my fault.

25. would you relocate for love? depends where. Example : I love Kay, but I ain’t moving to Florida roflrofl.

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy? Forgive far too easily the first few times. After that, fuck you.

27. favorite book. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert? Introvert.

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now? I have attempted to a few times. Didn’t work out. so no.

30. top 5 favorite movies. Porky’s trilogy. Ginger Snaps trilogy. uhhhhhhm.. fuck.. idk, why do you do this to me, I can’t pick favourites.

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason? We already went over this.

32. what is your greatest fear? Falling.

33. favorite alcoholic beverage. Jack, disarono, Fluffed marshmallow vodka. UPPERCUT. legit, go into a bar and order an uppercut.

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done. If i could think of something, I wouldn’t tell you guys muahahha.

35. do you believe in ghosts? not sure.

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality? That I’m nicer than I’d like to be. I’m mush. I’m forgiving and kind, and loving and sometimes I hate it.

37. should you split the dinner bill? Who am I at dinner with?

38. are you a good liar? Fuck no roflroflrofl. I’m the worst at it.

39. what keeps you up at night? these days, story ideas.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music? bye bye music.

41. do you believe in god? Nope.

42. how do you relax when frustrated? Mindless game on my phone, nap, or binge something.

43. what’s something that offends you? people. People offend me.

44. favorite food I’m a sucker for a good lasagne. but also cheesecake. I can never have too much cheesecake. I mean, I can, I’m lactose intolerant, but shush. Something are worth it.

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be? If there’s booze on the flight, anyone. if not, literally no one. I’ll just pound back some Oxazepam and nap. wake me up when we get there.

46. when do you feel the most confident? never. ROFL.

47. what do you do on your free time? What is free time?

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect Oh yeah. If you’ve read this far, you might have an idea.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart? Probably not, no.

50. did/do you play sports in school? In gym class. Oh, and I did that one summer to Tball and hated it.

51. when are you happiest? when I'm asleep.

52. coffee or tea? Tea. fuck your coffee.

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without? internet.

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person? Height.

55. what is your favorite season, why? I love winter, because I love everything looking so white and clean when the snow is fresh. But I also love spring because of the rain, and summer for storms and fall for colors and good weather.

56. what makes you laugh? What doesn’t.

57. are you a clean or messy person? I was given the nickname ‘Messy’ at 10 for a reason. It still applies.

58. what is important for a successful relationship? Be it friendship or romantic relationship, my answer is the same. Trust and Honesty.

59. what was your upcoming like? Do you mean upbringing? I had a single mom who worked all the time. I was pretty independent.

60. favorite holiday? Christmas.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery? pay off debts.

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination? Bacon crumble and cheese. Not bacon bits, fuck that shit. Bacon fucking crumble. its like, little balls of bacon or something and not many places have it anymore *sad panda*

63. favorite outdoor activity. meditation. Does that count? I just like to be barefoot outside.

64. how are you? honestly. It’s 9 am, and I’m already getting frustrated with kids. And I have a soccer game and medal ceremony coming up soooooooooooo.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort? how about cabin in the woods, ooooor a beach resort with woods backing it. yeah.

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature? everything.

67. favorite type of candy? Don’t got one.

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title? something super depressing, I’m sure.

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases? “Later masturbater” (The Pest)

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now? Frosted tips, mesh shirts, and snap away track pants on men HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA,. Oh, them early 00′s. I legit saw someone wearing them a few years ago and almost died.

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on? dunno hombre.

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched? uhhhhhhh

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had? again, 90′s. Mushroom cut with a nike check saved in the back HAHAHAHAHA. Oh man, everyone had that way back when.

74. what do you like to cook? most things.

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild? wild beavers make me happy.

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen? Japanese game shows. nothing is as funny as japanese games shows. Human Tetris for example is fucking hilarious.

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head? Heart. Unfortunately.

78. what is your favorite quote? I’m not sure these days.

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had? I’m not sure..

80. what’s your love language? I dunno. I legit just had to google what they were, and I’m not sure which.

81. do you ever feel alone? Always.

82. ever been bullied? Far too many times.

83. are you usually early or late? Early, thanks anxiety.

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most? these days, written. But I love paintings the most, i think.

85. what do you wish you knew more about? Everything. If I could, I’d go to school and learn everything that interests me even the slightest.

[celestialsoft]

⤻   *       GREETINGS AND HELLO !!!! :   IT IS I   ,   ADMIN EDIE !    HERE ONCE AGAIN HERE TO POST AN INTRO  :~))))  

this time i’m here to introduce you to my tenderhearted wee bab of an angel who clears my skin and grows by crops tBH, FRANK KANGDAE LONGBOTTOM, my lionhearted boi who deserves e v e r y t h i n g ( literally ; empty out your pockets and give EVERYTHING u have to frankleface longbooty—— he . deserves . it . all . !!!!! ) if you’d like to plot, please like this post or hmu in my im’s & without further ado —— here’s frank ! pls love him

⤻   *       APPLICATION   —— !

* ╰    ( KIM YOUNGKYUN )┋have you met ( FRANKLIN KANGDAE LONGBOTTOM ) ? ( he ) reminds me of ( deep loneliness and deep kindness grown in equal parts —— and he speaks, so overcome with love, that i forget we are at war. he grew up hanging lanterns on hilltops to make sure the moon could see at night ; and practiced catching droplets of rain with his lips —— because even the clouds deserved a little romance. ' i infinitesimal being, drunk with the great starry void ' —— tenderhearted boy , luminescent boy : boy frightened , boy destroyed. unravelled by kindness ; compassion consumed —— on the precipice of supernova , he burns brightest in the darkest hour. he looks to me as if he were a man forged entirely of tenderness and the sun ; yet he is the sweet nocturne that plays despite how the beginning of the end has begun ). a ( twenty-one ) year old ( tenth ) year ( gryffindor ), the ( paladin ) is known to be ( + tenderhearted & + clement ), yet ( — oversolicitous & — pensive ). that explains why they’re majoring in ( healing ). rumour has it, ( frank ) is siding with ( the order ) in the solemn war that blazes beyond the castle walls. ( edie, 22, aedt, she/her )

⤻   *       ABOUT FRANK  ——   !!

ahhhhh, frank longbottom —— where do i even start ????? if there’s just one thing that you should absolutely know about frank longbottom, it is that he is a gosh darn heckin’ angel. his heart is ??? so ??? genuinely pure ??? just thinking about it makes me want to tear up tbh

frank is the kind of boy who will charge straight into the carnage and chaos of the whomping willow to save a cat. he’s the kind of boy who hangs out by the edge of the black lake, worried that the giant squid is feeling lonely. he’s the kind of boy who sees the potential for good in everyone & everything, and is genuinely confused and appalled by acts of unkindness and malice when they occur. he chooses the path of benevolence, always, and he wants to keep everyone he loves safe so he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and feels like it is up to him, & him alone, to SAVE THE WORLD and make it a better place. i repeat for you my fronds : frank longbottom gosh darn heckin’ angel. but my god, is he a broken one.

⤻   *       BACKGROUND   ——   !!

frank was born into a sacred 28 pureblood family who cared very little for blood purity, but a whole lot for social justice & fighting for what is right. thomas and augusta longbottom first met at the ministry of magic, where their ‘ left-wing ’ progressive ideas about wizard / muggle / magical creature relations brought them together. their love brought frank longbottom into the world ; a child who was, from an early age, exposed to concepts of in/equality, systematic oppression, privilege, biased public policy, and injustice through his parents.

under the steady & tireless virtuous guidance of his mother and father, frank longbottom bloomed from infancy into childhood with a strong sense of egalitarianism & selflessness that most children only learned well into adolescence, and he had an awareness of the injustices of the world that many people did not gain even well into adulthood. yet despite his parent’s rather strict & heavy hand in discipline, there was always a remarkable air of benevolence and incorruptibility about frank that refused to be befouled.

nevertheless, frank was a terribly lonely child. he was homeschooled by a thoroughly screened, left-wing half-blood governess, and she was just about his only connection to the outside world. it goes without saying that sacred 28 pureblood socialising events & parties were off-limits and out of the question for frank, and since the longbottoms lived in suburban muggle england, frank was always too scared to socialise with many of the children in his neighbourhood, fearful that he would accidentally expose his magical lineage & incur terrible consequences for his folly. shut away in a house of absolute virtue and morality, frank longbottom was a victim of utter loneliness & never got to experience the world his parents adamantly taught and trained him to save … until his letter from hogwarts arrived, that is.

⤻   *       HOGWARTS   ——   !!

frank was a heckin’ confusing four-way house hat stall during his sorting. the hat sensed the resolute loyalty and benevolence of hufflepuff in him, the love and respect for knowledge and learning of ravenclaw in him & the tenacity and ambition to achieve his goals of slytherin in him, but ultimately, the sorting hat settled on “ GRYFFINDOR ! ”, declaring its choice with a booming roar. above all, the sorting hat sensed frank to be brave —— willing ( & desperate, even ) to fight for what is right. it’s a shame that frank, to this day, doesn’t seem to see this bravery in himself. but by the warm beacon of the gryffindor common room fireplace, under the twinkling candlelights of the great hall, and at the top of the astronomy tower ( the stars and galaxies at the reach of his very own fingertips ), frank, at hogwarts has grown to be exactly the kind of person his parents have always wanted him to be : stalwartly true ; combatting hate with kindness, and enveloping cruelty with warmth. he loves deeply and vastly, and he honestly radiates this other-worldy quality of brightness ??? he’s the light in the dark, and oh how he shines. 

however —— the fact that he’s already grown into someone that his parents are proud of doesn’t stop frank from still wanting to be better, and wanting to save the world. what frank doesn’t realise is that he can hardly save the world if he can’t first save himself. he’s constantly emotionally and physically exhausted ; spending every moment of his time helping those around him and making sure to change to the world one kind act at a time. slowly but surely, frank’s bleeding heart and compulsion for kindness is coming to the point of being harmful to his own health and wellbeing. 

so yeah … … . though frank is falling apart, he never lets this show & he really tries to never make this anyone else’s problem. through the haze of responsibility and moral duty that has always clouded frank’s life, there’s still a profound tenderness and warmth about him ; and among all his advocations and efforts towards justice & peacetime, it’s difficult to discern just how deeply scared, lost, and confused the boy is in a world that refuses to cease changing right before his very eyes ; an inevitable war upon the horizon. 

⤻   *       LITTLE HEADCANONS   ——   !!

frank has always been V MAGICALLY GIFTED. he showed his first signs of magic when he was just one and a half, when he had a terrible nightmare & woke up screaming in the middle of the night. instead of waiting for his parents to come and calm him down though, frank simply closed his eyes & focused on his breathing. when his parents stumbled into the room ; sleep hazy in their eyes, they could hardly believe what they saw : the entire room, covered in flowers and lush foliage —— something that frank had somehow conjured up to keep himself calm ( b/c untamed childhood magic be CRAZY ). frank is now able to command wandless magic, which is a GODSEND tbh b/c he’s such a sleep-deprived mess & he loses his wand c o n s t a n t l y istG

being a sacred 28 pureblood with quite advanced magical abilities, frank has always been in high demand for pureblood partnership through an arranged marriage. his parents, have always hastily shot down offers ( bc they aren’t all up in that pureblooded nonsense ! ), but that hasn’t stopped pureblooded parents from reaching out anyway :/ yIKEs :/// 

frank is part of the slug club ,,,,,,,,,,,,, and like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, every single other club / extracurricular. baby longbottom is an OVERACHIEVER EXTRAORDINAIRE —— YA BOI DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO CHILL. it’s not that frank is driven by any sort of particular ambition and self-interest, though ?? rather, frank’s heavy involvement in every aspect of school life stems from the aforementioned incredible pressure of his parent’s expectations ; frank applying himself to every possible aspect of school life and extracurriculars in the hopes that he will make them proud

frank has so little chill that he’s actually started sleepwalking … yikes ????? it probably doesn’t help that frank is involved in almost every sport club tbH, & he is also gryffindor quidditch team’s seeker. the thing is that he could never give any sport up. sport is so cathartic for frankie my boi, because it helps him forget his worries & his responsibilities. while he’s playing sport he is just a body —— he is pulsing blood, deep breaths & he is free.

⤻   *       OTHER FUN FACTS / GENERAL SUMMARY DOT POINTS ABOUT FRANKLEFACE LONGBOOTY   ——   !!

THE MOST CLEAN CUT KID OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO : frank longbottom, OFC. innuendo is lost on the kid ( he is v v v lost every time someone uses the word ‘ wand ’ as double entendre ), and has only consumed alcohol once in his life —— and even then, it was by accident ( it was in a spiked cherry berry trifle at an end of year christmas party back in first year ). 

LATELY, THOUGH, frank has taken up smoking. he does it in secret ; one cigarette every night in the astronomy tower, or by the black lake. if anyone ever found out about this frank would be MORTIFIED & would legitimately probably DIE of shame, so ………….. *coughs* someone pls walk in on him smoking one day. 

it’s so strange, because frank is incredibly in touch with the real travesties and injustices of the world, but in many ways he’s completely naive and lacking in real life experience. he is such an experientially sheltered kiddo, someone pls take him out and get him RAGING DRUNK bc he needs to chill out tbH

#mumfriend

takes literally 15 minutes out of each of his days to have a few conversations with a few of hogwarts’ cats ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, what a loser ??

gets excited when people ask him for help with their homework ( hELP ME ???? )

excels at all his subjects, but has a particular soft-spot for astronomy, herbology and care of magical creatures :’)

LOVES KNITTING —— stress knits a lot . he’d like to just knit the entire world up into a snug lil blanket and keep it safe and warm 

wants to single handedly save the world

did i mention ????? babe is a gosh dark heckin’ angel

in the mirror of erised, frank would see all his friends and family happy and smiling —— but he wouldn’t even be in the frame. mY HEART BREAKS OVER THIS HEADCANON TBH

frank has a cat named alexis de tocqueville 

i’ve run out of things to dot point & this is probably WAY TOO LONG ALREADY ANYWAY ??? so i’ll stop :o :o :o but please come and interact with my son ?!!!!!!??!? i love yall peace out

[tumblunni]

MORE UPDATES ON THINGS WHAT HAPPEN

The half week milestone of the hospital house thingie time! I think the term they use for it is "a residential stay"? Cos like its not a hospital its a shared housing block thats just full of doctors. I get to sleep in a real bed and there's a nice community room and board game nights and stuff. But its still really scary how intense the supervision can be! Like they have a window to look into your room once per hour every hour constantly. And they have to go through your undies and catalog them as part of the possessions check. I was not warned about that and it was mega embarassing trying to explain a binder to a bunch of old lady doctors! Oh and i had yo do a urine test today which was possibly the most fuckin embarassing thing in the actual universe. And you're not even allowed to take your own pills! They keep them locked in a big ominous wall of lockers and you have to come into the office and swallow the pill while theyre watching. I guess maybe because some people might be faking their illness and selling their pills on the black market or whatever? But that literally doesnt happen with antidepressants, they have no 'high' or even any effect at all on non-sick people. So it just makes no sense to me and its real embarassing cos like i said i suck at taking pills with plain water and without a straw. The ones i take are real damn chunky things the size of my thumbnail! I think i'l get better at not (literally) choking under pressure over time, tho. Hopefully.

Anyway that's all the bad out of the way! Now the good and the neutral and the just miscellaneous!

Its still nervewracking having to shower in a shared house but they have a cool walk-in shower and ive never tried one of those so it was vaguely interesting. And im allowed to take my showers early at 6am to minimize the chance of anyone else trying to use the door, lol. My biggest fear is having some staff member walk in on me when im naked like back in that homeless hostel. Oh or that time in the homeless hostel where the teenage boys filled the entire bathroom with inflated condoms wall to wall. Like wow so much damn effort to prank the stupid nervous bunni who probably would have been embarassed by literally anything else. Man this place is bringing so many memories of that homeless hostel but at least this time its a place specifically for sick people and they know i'm anxious doing shared cooking and board games and whatever so they dont make fun of me for it. But in a lot of ways that hostel had more freedoms too.. *shrug*

Anyway! A good! I get to have cooking lesson!! I know literally nothing about cooking and now i get to know several thing!! This nice doctor called Josie taught me how to make an omelette and i tasted ham for the first time! That is just how limited my life experiences are, lol. Oh and they want me to say that she's a 'mental health worker' not a doctor, but its all real confusing?? Like they have the staff that look after you and then the only ones we're supposed to call doctors are the ones who actually have the authority to prescribe pills and diagnosies. But like if youre in a hospital you'd call them all doctors, not just the actual surgeon? Or i guess theyre kinda like nursing home staff?? But they cant be support workers cos support workers are specific government assigned inspector type guys like Richard who only meet with you once a week.and i have to remember to not call him a social worker either cos social workers only work with family and custody related stuff. I dunno?? Basically the medical industry has a lot of names that dont really describe what the actual thing is, lol. Anyway the ham omelette was great and now im gonna try and remember so i can try and make it myself next time! HAM ACCOMPLISHED

Also i played bingo with a few other patients and it was fun but funny that i lost 6 times in a row when there were only 3 of us. I got a consolation prize of a pack of neon highlighter pens so hell yeah!!

I'm getting booked in to try some additional classes starting next week on monday and tuesday morning. The computer programming one was sadly unavailable, but i managed tp snag a place in "confidence building group therapy" and "basic how to use power tools". I wasnt really all that interested in that one but i thought it would be a useful skill even if its less fun. And maybe you get to actyally make something to take home at the end? A lil shelf to help organize this awkward lil room better, maybe?

And an unexpected bonus of being semi-hospitalized is that i get a free bus pass! And cos im here cos of my social anxiety theyre gonna help me get outside more and actually use this thing to the fullest! The first thing we did was the trip to actually get the bus pass itself. It was like "bus, take my money to take me to the place where i can never give you money again!" XD Ive been really stupidly nervous about going on tne bus in my old neighbourhood cos MAN it was really isolated there and everything just amplified my mental illness. An almost two hour bus ride to get to ANY SHOPS AT ALL, with only one bus for the whole town so it was always crowded and full of screaming kids and gossipy everyones. Social anxiety: maximum level proud mode!

So yeah i feel BIG ACCONPLISHED! I was able to take this bus for the first time with a doctor coming with me. Power Grandpa The Strong. His actual name is Paul and he has awesome sleeve tattoos of like anchors and dragons and sports teams and stuff! And he likes thrift stores and wearing silly hats too! Its like he's powerful enough to wrestle away everyone's anxieties! I was able to be a bit reckless too and i went out wearing my fave shirt thats like trans pride coloured plaid. A POWERFUL SHIRT IS REQUIRED FOR THIS QUEST! so we went to the office to register this bus pass and i panicked a bit cos apparantky we brought the wrong form and i wrote my name in the wrong box and then my passport photo looked terrible and aaa! But it all worked out and i was kinda freaking out for nothing. And he took me for a lil tour of the place and showed me this cool shop that does spray paint tye dye t shirts with spiderman on them?? Why does this incredibly specific shop exist and how have i never heard of it before?? There was also a new harry potter shop next to the disney shop, and the old used book store i used to visit as a kid was still there, complete with rickety spiral staircase and ominous basement trap door. I'm still not brave enough to go down there, but apparantly its just the history books section so meh. Then we actually went to a fancy coffee shop and i had this brain freeze mango ice frappucchino thing! Im trying all the new foods!!

And i was TOO HIGH ON DECADENCE and made a RECKLESS CHOICE! i blame power gramp's amazing tattoos, they were totally whispering to me that i shoukd screw the rules and ride off into the sunset on a metaphorical harley davidsen of mental health

So i was like Hey Paul I Am Totally Fine Getting Home On My Own, and it was like i was floating off in the distance somewhere begging my body to not speaketh these words. But it ended up working out okay! The excitement of it all and the sense of accomplishmebt from getting there all okay allowed me to mostly not freak out as i spent the day in town and looked at some shops and stuff. Basic Living Skills: Completed! I chilled out in the library (tho i dont have a card yet, alas!) and visited like five comic and anime stores, and got lost but found a Pizza Hut and that was SO NOSTALGIC FOR MY CHILDHOOD and it didnt taste quite as good as i remembered but the waiter guy was super nice and had a similar shirt and it was All Good! Oh and i gave all my money to a homeless person and that's why i'm broke now. And i bought a plastic slug! I just saw it from across the room and was like OH NO I AM BEING MAGNETISED TOWARDS IT OH NO IT HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT. I need to think of a name for this new friend!!

So yeh i got home okay and i felt really acconplished and that was the furthest trip away that i've taken in ages! Man my mental illness makes me feel pathetic, but it also brings ridiculously big joys from the smallest of silly acconplishys!

Oh and thank you so much to the people who sent me emails! It really helped so much to keep me from giving up during the first few days before i made a bit of progress and felt like i could really do this, yknow? Especially big thanks tp the friend who sent me that mysterious super happy song that they found on a mystery disc in a german market?? Im still not sure whether its in greek or hasidic jewish but it sounds AMAZING and i hope someday i can figure out the band so i can hear their other singles!

Ok this is bunni out! BIG HUGS FOR THE EVERYONE AAAA

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Chapter 24-26

Chapter 24

Andi wakes up in a cell, and can you guess what the inside of the cell looks like?

If you guessed it’s VERY DARK, and filled with DARKNESS that settles into Andi’s BONES (Shinsay is very fond of this metaphor, huh?), you need to leave this blog and never come back because you’ve obviously been here long enough to be permanently damaged by all this bullshit.

But you’re also right. It’s very very dark here, you guys.

So basically this whole chapter is Andi and Dex waking up in a dark cell and ... getting up and out of the cell. That’s it. 

I’ll include some juicy dumb bits for you though, because what’s a snark blog without snark?

This could have been her life—should have been her life. Locked away behind bars, awaiting the death penalty, the ghost of her best friend the only thing to keep her company.

This might be a nitpick, but “this could’ve been her life” implies that she’d be locked up for the rest of her life. Which I guess would technically be true since waiting for her death penalty would be the rest of her very short life, but it still sounds really weird. It’s like she’s expecting to wait for ... well, years and years and years, when the previous chapters mentioned her sentencing happening quickly.

That familiar wave of fear spiked through her, and Andi wanted to reach for her swords, to slash and slice and tear apart that piece of herself as she tore apart the bodies of others. Death after death, to cover up Kalee’s. To give herself the kind of fate she deserved.

So Andi harms herself? Does she want to seppuku this bitch up? Why else would she want to physically reach for her real, actual swords? Does she want to actually slice at a metaphorical part of herself? 

Also, can I just say that this still doesn’t make a lick of sense? “I technically didn’t murder my friend and technically hate the fact that I do think that I murdered my friend, and I will put a soothing balm on the wound of my soul by murdering even more innocent people, but this time intentionally, thinking I need to kill people for some reason even though I constantly mope about how badly I don’t want to kill people!” 

Makes ... no sense. This is why her characterization is so bad, Shinsay can’t commit to the “soft, compassionate, uwu bean” side of Andi because that would make her NOT COOL AND BADASS AND WEAK, but they also barely touch the “RUTHLESS MERCENARY” side of her because that would make her morally ambiguous and we can’t trust the reader to make up their own mind about her, can we now? Nor can we write anything that complex but that’s another debate.

Anywhoo, Dex wakes up and fingers Andi in the dark. 

She didn’t even flinch away as his fingertips scraped hers and he froze.

Gotcha.

Then we get a ... joke? I think it’s supposed to be a joke, at least. Someone teach Shinsay how to be funny and how to translate comedy into text, please!

“Please tell me this is Andi, and not some love-hungry Xen Pterran carriage slug named Stubby.”

Despite herself, Andi laughed. The massive slugs were gruesome, oily beasts that tried to bed anything with a heartbeat.

If there was anything this story was missing, it’s oily fuck-slugs. 

Thank you for that, Shinsay. 

Also ... “bed?” Are you telling me these slugs, that seem to be used to pull carriages, take their (dubiously willing) partners ... to bed? 

Shinsay, I get that you physically cannot get off SJM’s massive throbbing cock, but you’re not actually writing a faux-medieval fantasy book, ok? You’re writing a SUPER EDGY AND MATURE space opera, with all sorts of edgy violence and references to sex in it.

I don’t understand how bad your cognitive dissonance must be if you can invent rapey fuck-slugs, but don’t have the guts to say “fuck” or even “sex.”

Are you afraid your moms will read this? Is that why this is all so coy and immature as hell?

That’s what gets to me tbh. This book is too inappropriate to really be for younger YA audiences, but it’s also far too childish to be anything but laughable for older teens and young adults.

Dex and Andi have completely pointless banter as they try to get out of their cell. I find it very convenient that they ended up in the same cell, but ok.

Andi sticks out her tongue at Dex after he mildly insults her like a super cool ruthless murderess and not at all like a five-year-old.

We also get several mentions of the fact that Andi’s wrist cuffs can give off light, because I guess Shinsay are very proud of that particular high tech sci-fi invention. 

It’s very very very very dark, like SUPER dark, and Dex asks Andi if she’s scared.

She feared a lot of things.

Loneliness. Losing the lives of her crew or damaging her ship beyond repair.

But not darkness. That was a part of her; the very thing that had allowed her to survive for this long.

I had to read that, and now so do you. 

The thrill of the moment had arrived.

Without a word, Andi took a step forward, shedding the weakest parts of herself as she allowed the Bloody Baroness to take over.

Let’s wait until Andi becomes all sad and mopey over this again. 

Does this woman have ONE consistent personality trait?

Dex followed, and together, they left their empty cell behind.

Are you sure it was empty? And not full of DANK DARKNESS?!

Anyway yeah, it took Andi and Dex one entire chapter to wake up and leave a room. 

So this is how you pad your word count ... 

Chapter 25

We’re in Dex’s POV. They take care of a couple of guards, and by that I mean Andi does a couple SICK FLIPS and Dex is very impressed. 

“Godstars, Andi,” Dex said now as he leaned over to inspect the corpse.

The key looked strangely at home in his eye socket, perfectly positioned in the center, as if Andi had placed it there with an artist’s flair.

Ok, I’ll give Shinsay credit and say that this is reasonably evocative and Dex does admit that the key strangely looks at home in the guy’s EYE, but the “artist’s flair” thing ruins it completely. When you think “artist’s flair,” you don’t think of someone forcefully shoving a blunt object into someone’s eye, you think of a fancy shmancy person doing a little elegant flourish with their hand, like painting the delicate eyelashes of some noblewoman. 

Even when Shinsay manages to write something that’s actually rather imaginative, they ruin it by adding more guff that simply doesn’t fit and is only there to slap on more “pretty prose” and make Andi sound awesome and pad the damn word count.

Furthermore, specifying that it’s “perfectly in the center” doesn’t mean anything. If you manage to pierce a person’s eye with a key in the first place, there’s little margin of error, assuming this was a human and not an alien with abnormally large eyes with lots of options for key placement.

If you want to take the absurd imagery of the key “belonging” in the eye further, here’s what I’d suggest: 

“Godstars, Andi,” Dex said now as he leaned over to inspect the corpse.

The key looked strangely at home in his eye socket, and Dex felt as if he could just lean down and twist it and open the man’s face like a door.

Dex seems deeply horrified by Andi’s actions for reasons I cannot fathom, seeing as he’s the one constantly bragging about how he taught her everything she knows. 

When Andi explains to him that she had to kill the guard to make sure he didn’t sound the alarm and summon more guards, Dex has a really dumbass realization:

As Dex stared at her, he suddenly understood the bare truth.

There was no remorse in her eyes for the kills. Not even a flicker. There was nothing but the promise of the mission pulling her forward.

... Well, doy? How exactly did you expect this to go down, Dexy-Boy? Did you want to talk the guards into silence with your witty banter? 

This chapter serves literally no other purpose than to wank on about how cool and remorseless Andi is. We get Dex angsting about how Andi used to feel things very very hard, you guys, but now, the rumors were TRUE, and she was indeed a cold, non-feeling murderer. 

Dex asks Andi all deep about how the Bloody Baroness isn’t “just a reputation” and thinks about how badass Andi looks when she’s all stoic and shit. 

Andi then tells Dex about her apparently-not-so-secret ritual of carving tallies into her swords, which then makes Dex realize that MAYBE the Bloody Baroness IS a facade and Andi actually DOES have feelings, just like he thought 500 words before this! Rendering this entire internal monologue -- and by extension, this fiking chapter -- COMPLETELY USELESS!

Shinsay, literally what is the whole-ass fiking point of this? Was there progress made? New character traits revealed? No. We ended literally where we started. Nothing new was discovered. 

1. Dex thinks Andi still has some humanity left and the Bloody Baroness is just a reputation fabricated by her to protect her and her friends

2. Andi murders a dude, making Dex think that BB is indeed REAL and that Andi has no remorse for killing dudes

3. Andi tells Dex about her tallies, saying she remembers each and every kill, making Dex think that perhaps there is some humanity left and the Bloody Baroness is just a reputation fabricated by her to protect her and her friends

Shinsay, I’m coming to your houses to leave rotten eggs between your couch cushions.

We get this from Andi:

“Two deaths. Two tallies on my swords.” She looked down at the dead guards, then back up at him. A flicker of pain flashed through her eyes. “I have a code, you know. Lines that I don’t cross.”

Won’t surprise me the least if we never find out what that code is. 

Dex thinks about how cool and great it is to be working with Andi and the “chapter,” as I’ll generously call it, ends. 

Chapter 26

Hey, remember Klaren? 

Me neither.

Anyway, it’s year nineteen now and she’s holding baby Nor. Klaren thinks about how her baby -- oh sorry, “babe,” because this book still wants to be fantasy I guess -- is a mistake and how little effort she had to put in to make the king love her.

She’d hardly had to try to entice him. Perhaps, in some way, that meant he was her gift. A man who loved her despite what she was. Despite the past she’d kept hidden from him all these years.

Did this reasoning actually make sense to Shinsay? How can he love you “despite” the past you’ve hidden from him if you’ve HIDDEN IT FROM HIM AND HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT?! 

Who let Shinsay write? I need to find them and have a few words.

Anywhoo, the king is off to war and Xen Ptera is dying and it’s the apocalypse and whatever.

The baby wailed, drawing the queen’s attention. “Sleep now, my perfect little mistake,” she whispered. “Sleep, and remember to dream of the light.”

I guess this is supposed to be deep? Who even knows tbh.

Alone in her palace quarters, the queen of Xen Ptera rocked her daughter gently, a tear slipping down her cheek as she remembered her mission and thought of how little time they had left.

We’ve had a bunch of chapters with Klaren already and I still have no idea what purpose they serve or what their plot is. 

[wildegreenlight]

Clarification

A/N: Yes, this is ANOTHER Shell Cottage fic, but I just cannot stop myself. I started this while I was at the beach myself, and have finally come to a stopping point. I have not quite decided if this will be a one shot or if I will continue it. I seem to have fallen in with a very persuasive crowd, so who knows. As always, thanks to @callieskye for her help ( I owe you another cider)! Special love to the bad influences that are DEM!

Every bit of her ached. There was a weird sensation deep in her joints; a strange mix of relief and pain. It reminded her of taking her hair down after it had been plaited too tightly for too long. She should probably move, but she just couldn’t -not yet.

He was asleep, finally. The subtle rise and fall of his chest, the comforting wisps of his breath across the crown of her curls was proof. She was aware that neither the quantity nor quality of his rest had been sufficient. She was also aware, with equal parts joy and regret, that it was his worry for her that had been the cause of his wakefulness. He had held her like this all night, almost upright against the headboard with her head resting on his chest. There had not been even a moment’s hesitation when he had taken her in his arms, she thought perhaps that they were both too tired to bother with pretense. She wept when he pulled her close; she hadn’t properly realized just how thin he had gotten. He mistook her tears for him as an indication of her own physical pain.

“Should I get Fleur? Do you need more potion?”

“No!” she had gripped him as tightly as her aching limbs would allow.

“But you’re hurting,” his voice showed his own reluctance to leave.

“I’m not...I mean, I am...but I...oh, Ron!”

He had gently shushed her then, resting his cheek on the top of her freshly washed curls. She had wanted to tell him that she was sorry, sorry for so many things, but mostly for doubting him. Faith had never been her strong suit. She had to see to believe; she had to have proof.  And even then, the belief was fragile.

He deserved better. This was a genuine thought, not the pettiness of a heartbroken school girl questioning her physical appeal. She wanted to be better, for him: more trusting, more forgiving. As she had lain in agony on that cold floor, the thing she regretted most was that she would never get the chance to tell him. That regret tethered her to consciousness, to life itself, miraculously giving her a second chance.

She had wanted to tell him, but she had been too full of exhaustion and potions to form coherent words. The rest of the night was a jumble of hazy, dreamlike memories. There were broken bits of a conversation between Ron and Bill. Fearing that his brother had come to make him leave, she had been relieved to find that apparently Fleur had only sent him to try and get Ron to eat.

“Just come down and get a bite. She’s asleep; you can be back for she even knows you’re gone.”

“If I can’t do it from right here, ‘m not doing it,” his quietly forceful words had been a better balm than any of the spells and potions that Fleur had administered.

“Well then Merlin help you both if you have to take a piss,” Bill’s laugh sounded much more like Ron’s than Percy’s or even the twins’.

“Get outta here you git! If you wake her I’ll hex your ponytail off,” despite the threat there was humor in his voice, and then he chuckled at something else Bill said. She couldn’t quite make out what it was but she was pretty sure it involved a broomstick being used in an unconventional manner.

He’d sung to her-or hummed-or maybe she’d dreamt the whole thing. His voice had been so warm and soft; she had felt it rumbling through his chest, her ear pressed so tightly against him that surely he would have a mark in the morning.

Every time she had come to during the night, he had been awake. She could tell by the rhythm of his breathing, months of sleeping together in a tent- so close, yet so painfully far- had taught her well. So now that he was actually sleeping, she would not dream of waking him. And so what if that meant she got to feel his arms around her for a little longer? Didn’t they both deserve at least that much?

Just yesterday she had fought so hard: to stay alive, to stay sane, to keep them safe. She had not been able to bear the thought of those being their last moments: separated, terrified, incomplete...but this…

It was horrible she knew, but there was a small part of her that reasoned that if she wasn’t going to make it, she wouldn’t mind her last moments being in bed with Ron Weasley. Her face flushed hotly at the thought. Maybe there were a few more things she wanted to experience before she left this world.

Ron took in a sharp breath and his grip tightened slightly on her shoulder. Hermione nuzzled in closer, placing her hand gently on his opposite arm.

“‘Ermynee?”

“Hmmm?”

“You awake?”

“Um hmm.”

“How you feeling?”

“A little sore, but I’m sure you have to be too. I didn’t let you get very comfortable last night before I trapped you,” she still hadn’t moved to look at his face, afraid that if she did, the spell might be broken.

“Wasn’t trapped...trapped means you wanna get away,” he ran his hand gently up and down her arm, causing a delicious warmth to spread across her body.

She could scarcely breathe, the sincerity of his words made tears pool in the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them back, searching for the perfect reply. She needed him to know, but how could she possibly tell him...there was so much. If this were a scene in a novel, she thought wistfully, she might turn her face toward his, and he might tip her chin up to him as he leaned down kissing her with a gentle passion that would leave them both breathless.

If only it could be that simple. If only they could forget the world outside this tiny room, outside this cottage, but she knew that was not an option, for either of them. They had to see this through first. This was not a novel, at least not the kind where she could forget the rest of the world and think only of herself. But she could, she reasoned, enjoy this moment just a little longer.

“And here I thought you were just powerless to escape me,” she sighed dramatically, risking a look at him by turning her head toward his.

Hearing his words had been one thing, but seeing his face, how would she ever resist that face again? The obvious fatigue was no match for the tenderness in his eyes, the faint but perfect grin dancing across his lovely mouth.

“Oh, I am. Used to scare me right shitless,” his expression didn’t change, but she could literally feel his heart speed up, matching the rhythm of her own.

“And now?” She really couldn’t believe how calm her voice sounded.

“Now...well, as long as you’re alright, not much else really frightens me, y’know what I mean?” as he was speaking he reached down and tucked a particularly unruly strand of hair behind her ear.

She nodded in agreement, once again marveling at Ron, this Ron. The Ron who was still at heart the boy who had belched slugs for her, and the boy who infuriated her, and the boy who had broken her heart. The miraculous thing was that somewhere along the way he had grown into a man. A man who comforted her at her most vulnerable moments, who did not shy away from her anger, who withstood the storm of her wrath for months, but who had still been willing to exchange his life for hers without a moment’s hesitation.  His words, his actions, his care for her were far greater, more intimate than any kiss.  

As she began to pull herself up to better settle higher on his chest, his stomach made a loud grumble of protest.

“Sounds like we need to get you some breakfast.”

“‘M’fine really,” the reluctance in his voice made her question her previous line of thought, what if this moment was all they were ever allowed? What if they were throwing away their only chance? She would not let herself believe that, could not. There would be a day, soon, when there were no more missions to compete, no more maniacs to defeat. Then they would be able to finish this, no, to start this, properly.

“I know you missed dinner last night because of me, I won’t let you miss breakfast too.”

“Is that so?”

“Entirely so! Besides, you are too thin for your own good. Your mum will never forgive me if I bring you back home in such a state.”

He laughed then, a real laugh, something she hadn’t heard in ages, and pulled her in closer. His voice now rustling her hair, “‘Specially when she finds out where I slept.”

If he were trying to embarrass her, two could play at that game, “Well, then, maybe you should go before I really compromise your virtue.” There, that will fix him!

“Any virtue I’ve ever had is yours to compromise, any time you’d like,” his voice did not shake, but it was huskier than it had been before, in a way that made her suddenly far less inclined to go to breakfast or anywhere else for that matter.

He did kiss her then, tenderly, on the very top of her head, lingering for a moment before he made a move to sit them both up properly. Ron made sure she was stable before he rather stiffly got out of bed and stood stretching beside it .

“It’s not compromising,is it?” she looked up at him as she spoke willing herself to be as brave as he had been already. “Compromising means you want different things.”

It was Ron’s turn to be left speechless, and as Hermione took his hand to walk with him down to breakfast, she could have sworn that it was trembling slightly.

[bloodycalligraphy]

multi-purpose-tool-guy replied to your post:

im just gonna.... scoot in here and uh..... enable you..... scoot scoot....

OK hear me out. Here’s some TLJ-based Kylux mpreg thoughts.

I think Snoke always knew Kylo was the knock-off brand of what he really wants. That Kylo is broken by the fact that he FEELS SO MUCH and he lets his feelings drag him around even though he clearly wishes he wasn’t like this. He was probably always like this. 

And Hux? Hux is useful but Hux lacks the sort of power that Kylo has by birth and breeding. Also he’s an absolutely sucking void of a human being with bile where other people have blood. He’s easy enough to control, but mostly exactly as you would a dog — reward it when it’s good and make sure it knows you could beat it if it’s not. Watch the teeth. Don’t take your eyes off it.

They’ll be steps to power, but are they really going to be heirs to his vision? Or are they the tools he’ll use until he can get better, shinier, less buggy and broken ones?

I’d like to thank the Rlos who want Rey to “continue the Skywalker line” because that sure sounds like the exact sort of shit you could feed Kyle Ron to make him do some Fucking Weird Shit and well, General, just lie back and think about the Empire. Kyle has probably never seen junk that wasn’t his own and the one Knight that he kissed once got sent out by Snoke to some planet acid-spitting worms and came back with their lips melted shut by scar tissue. And frankly I’m not sure anyone has ever in his life taught Hux that sex is about anything other than Power and Pain.

Anyway, Kyle over here’s like literally twice as wide as Armie, so obviously he’s got the space in that refrigerator-size torso for whatever demonspawn comes out of this.

Throw in some Force garbage about how if Kylo doesn’t spend a certain amount of time around Hux regularly he feels like he’s gonna puke his kidneys out because this INCREDIBLY FORCE SENSITIVE fetus would like to vibe with whatever weird vibes Hux gives off. Actually they’re probably very chill. Since he’s only got one (1) emotion: Hatred. And he’s got a boss and a PAIN IN THE ASS who can read his mind, I’m sure the inside of his brain is WMD blueprints and elevator music most of the time.

So they chill. They don’t... like each other? But maybe they realize that they’ve made some misjudgments and now they’re actually even better prepared to murder each other.

Hux starts researching weapons that a lightsaber can’t block. Force-resistant materials. He starts packing a couple extra energy blades on his body at all times. He buys a slug-shooting rifle and starts carrying it damn near everywhere.

Kylo is still gonna be killing his dad and getting gut-shot by a wookie and finding the true power of hatred after THE ANGRIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD hands him his own ass on a platter, obviously. You could stuff a whole watermelon in that boy and it would not slow him down. But it’s fucking with his head. Are his priorities... right? What does it all mean? Existential crisis with a side of his body literally doesn’t belong to him and he didn’t choose this at any point and WHY IS HE DOING ANY OF THIS AT ALL

Things explode. Things still very, very much explode.

And that’s going to be rather important, really, because Hux knows he can rebuild a planet-sized weapon and he can buy a new warship and he can train a hundred thousand more child soldiers. Every life except his own is replaceable and it always, always has been.

And Kylo is thinking obsessively about family, about his parents, about his childhood, about his life and where it has lead him, about right and wrong, light and dark. 

But all things must come to an end? And the boy sith who would be supreme leader doesn’t have enough time to telepathically tell Rey NOT to swing by really not a good time right now. 

Kylo gets his guts excavated by unfeeling, uncaring medical robots because this is a hideous dystopia of reproductive rights or something. Hux is there because, well, he’s a little bit of a sadist everyone knows that. That’s the only possible reason he could be there, isn’t it?

Haha no. He’s gonna make eye contact with that blue-eyed, screaming creature and all the crazy in that heavily hair-gelled head is gonna skew in exactly the expected ways. Because, well, he can BUILD another weapon. He can BUILD another army. But he can’t BUILD a fucking baby. Or well, he could, but it wouldn’t be this exact baby, now would it? And honestly, honestly? Why would he build any other? This one is PERFECT. He made that and it’s his and he would rather drown in his own blood than let anyone hurt it. 

(See? He’s not his father after all. He cannot even understand his father in this moment. He has always known himself to be weak and sought to protect himself. Now here is the weakest imaginable version of himself and he feels that same urge. It’s his and he will protect it or he will die. That has always been the only two options.)

And Kylo wakes up with his internal organs rearranged and stapled back together to see a fucking armed sociopath holding HIS CHILD and nearly kills Hux right then and there except if he died then he would definitely drop the baby and if Kylo sits up too fast his spleen is gonna pop out probably. 

They don’t even have to talk about things or lie to each other because they have spent a stupid amount of time with one another and they know. The fear in Hux now is the same fear that is swallowing Kylo up like a howling cyclone.

So they go to Snoke and it seems very much like Hux will betray Kylo like the untrustworthy dog that he is and Kylo will stay the loyal and steady servant of the darkness, but Kylo is a nest of serpents held together by medical tape. And all of Hux’s research? Well, if you want to blow the most powerful Force user you’ve ever met’s head off his ugly shoulders? You might need a real firearm and some Force-resistant bullets.

Cue a very different fight against the Praetorian Guard. Rey shows up twenty minutes late with Starbucks to a room full of corpses and fire and Kylo “Ben Solo” Ren trying to hold his torso together while Armitage “General Hugs” Hux looks increasingly red-faced and distressed at a very small and screaming baby.

No lightsabers explode.

No one’s around to sign the paperwork on DJ’s deal so he fucks off on the first ship he can break into while Phasma’s calls keep going directly to Hux’s voicemail.

The Resistance makes it to Crait safely and Holdo does not explode anything and Rose does not have to contemplate kicking 500,000 stormtroopers to death with her own two feet. (I mean she doesn’t, but she still DOES.)

Phasma’s call goes through. 

“Hey I’ve got two big Resistance morons and a soccer ball.”

“Cool. We killed the Supreme Leader and also it’s a girl.”

“Congratulations, sir. Does she have a name?”

“Not yet, I was a little busy.”

Rey watches Kylo get increasingly pale. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” he says.

Hux remembers that someone helped MAKE this baby and she’s probably fond of him or something. Maybe Hux is fond of him. He’s not sure yet exactly. But he would probably shoot the scavanger girl if she hurt him. Of course, he would probably shoot her anyway, y’know? Just because.

Chewbacca is sort of waiting for Rey to come back.

He does not expect her to come back in the company of the First Order’s three most powerful leaders and also Rose, Finn and a VERY ANGRY BB-8.

Also there’s a baby? It’s a very cute baby. She’s got Ben’s nose already.

“What’s her name?” he asks.

“Haven’t decided,” Kylo Ren says at the same time Rey says, “I don’t know.”

They glare at each other. Chewie does not smack Kylo upside the back of his head simple because it looks right now as though a stiff wind would knock him over just as well. Also, well, he wouldn’t have helped Rey with this COMPLETELY INSANE PLAN if he didn’t think Ben Solo could still come home.

He can’t. Really. This is not Ben Solo going to his mother. This is Kylo Ren going to General Organa with three and a half hostages and a burning desire to get some war criminals off the hook.

(Maybe DJ does a nice thing and leaves something explosive behind when he goes. Or he gives the whole First Order a computer virus or something. They’d deserve it.)

Anyway, Hux probably is still set on handing his daughter the whole known universe and does something incredibly stupid like pull a gun on Leia and gets every blaster in the room pointed at him while he’s holding the infant Skywalker scion. Kylo forcibly (haha) disarms everyone in the room and gently sets Hux on his damn fool ass and not so gently shuts his jaw so tight he can barely breathe. But he can still breathe.

This still unnamed baby is going to be a princess in a world where everyone won’t be trying to kill her all the time, isn’t that good enough for you? (It isn’t, actually, but Hux can make world domination a back-up plan for at least the next two hours.)

Phasma refuses to take off her helmet. Or talk to anyone.

Rey is going to loudly insist that they’re not that bad — and they have a baby! They can’t be bad? At least the baby is probably not bad! 

Leia is going to call Kylo “Ben” and so everyone else is going to follow suit as he bleeds internally and hates them all. He would still stab his uncle if he saw him.

(MAYBE HE DOES HAHA.)

Does Phasma particularly care if her life’s work is sacrificed on the altar of peace? Uh, as long as she still has her LIFE, not particularly. 

Empires, warships, armies can be rebuilt. The universe is always going to be there to conquer. Right? And "princess” doesn’t seem like such a bad title, really, when it’s his baby girl.

Kylo is still an angry, bitter sack of vipers. Hux now has two emotions and they’re both terrifying and involve firearms. Not saying they “fall in love,” but they do practice kissing and trade insults that are maybe affectionate? Hux kills more than one person who tries to get at Kylo with his bare hands and a energy blade. They try extremely hard to be good parents.

Phasma takes her immunity and fucking RETIRES to make LOTS OF MONEY doing what she’s GOOD AT which is fighting and not dying.

Anyway they name the baby Padme. She has a COMPLETELY HIDEOUS temper and blue eyes like her great-grandfather.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[thelittleladyjournal-blog]

ANATOMICAL VULNERABILITY #4 : IYESHA WALKER

IYESHA WALKER IS A FINE ART STUDENT AT NUA. SHE IS A MIXED MEDIA ARTIST WHOSE PRACTICE EXPLORES COLLAGE, DRAWING AND SIFT SCULPTURE, DELVING THROUGH A WIDE RANGE OF MATERIALS.  EXPLORING THE LIMITS OF THE BODY AS WELL AS THE UNSEEN WITHIN HER ARTWORK WITH AN UNCANNY APPEARANCE THAT PLAYS WITH THE MIND. 

WHERE DID YOUR INTEREST IN SCULPTURE AND TEXTILES BEGIN? WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT IT?

My interest in sculpture began whilst I was doing a foundation course the year before moving to uni. It was when I realised how far you can take sculpture without having to stick to traditional methods of making. Throughout my GCSE’s and A-levels, fine art was always kept within classical realism, still life painting, etc, and if I got the idea that if I was to do anything else it would be considered ‘wrong’. And this never interested me as much as textile art began to interest me as I did more research. But I never knew how to apply this love without having to study textiles or fashion, until the tutors on my foundation course explained the broadness of fine art, how there is no right and wrong way to make art, which finally gave me the confidence to make literally whatever I felt like making!

So I combined my love for clothes making, sewing and fabrics with my love for the shapes that are often overlooked whether they be within the body or nature or shadows or bags of trash, and the desire to make them three dimensional in my own way. I love the flexibility of textiles, the lack of restrictions with the movement of fabric that allow me to form smooth curves and softness!

TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORKS : ‘AROUSE’.

I made a series of three drawings and three small soft sculptures for a collaborative exhibition between NUA and the Fairhurst Gallery in Norwich. This exhibition was named ‘AROUSE’, which set out to arouse the senses through art in different ways. It was curated by one of my fellow students and I got asked by the curator to make works similar to drawings I had previously posted on my blog, which was exciting because it was a little project I had wanted to do something with for a while but didn’t know what to really apply it to. I always begin with drawing before making sculpture, and always forget they can be works in their own right too in or out of a sketchbook, and it was nice to exhibit them as I never usually do.

WHAT WERE YOUR INSPIRATIONS BEHIND THIS PROJECT?

Over the summer before my second year, I got hooked on the visuals of really incredibly bad 80’s body horror movies. I just got insanely inspired by the gross manipulation of the body within these films that happened along side the weird, sometimes silly story lines. I looked into the works of David Cronenberg and his ideas on horror and body manipulation and deterioration. I saw these fleshy messes as a further way of abstracting the body and decided to translate the inspiration through soft watercolour drawings and small pastel pink sculptures. There was something about having these odd looking shapes that were all soft and stitched into, not harmful at all, that had stemmed from severed limbs and blood and imaginary humanoid things set out to shock, found in these B movies.

HOW MUCH OF A RELATIONSHIP DO YOU THINK THERE IS BETWEEN VULNERABILITY AND THE FEMALE BODY?

I think there definitely is a relationship between vulnerability and the female body. It can be a vulnerable feeling to express ourselves, whether this be through emotion, conversation, what we wear, the makeup we chose to put on or not, how we cry, how we laugh, how we share and through our bodies. Vulnerability is often considered a weakness when it should not be at all. It is the expression of emotions, sometimes deeply, which although can be scary, proves a lot about how we care.

DISCUSS THE PHRASE: ‘ANATOMICAL VULNERABILITY’ – WHAT ARE ITS CONNOTATIONS FOR YOU?

To me ‘anatomical vulnerability’ relates a lot to the process of becoming comfortable with your own body. Becoming comfortable with it yourself and feeling vulnerable in front of only yourself can also be a strange process. I still don’t feel used to myself on some days and other days I can feel completely different! You live with your own body for all of your years and there’s always gonna be things you love about it and things you hate about it, but it takes a different amount of time for everyone and can be easy or difficult, and that’s okay no matter how long it takes.

WHO ARE YOUR BIGGEST INFLUENCES TO YOUR WORK- ARTISTS AND OTHERWISE?

There are so many artists out there that use their materials in such a beautiful way. Alina Szapocznikow’s work has always mesmerised me – she works with the body, showing it in ways which you’ve never seen before, making it awkward, wonky, unbalanced, dainty and clunky at the same time, and glowing whilst confronting some scary autobiographical parts of her life, controlling the fears of illness and death. Athena Papadopoulos is another wonderful artist focusing on unwelcomed subjects and transforming them into these amazing soft arrangements of bright pink limbs. She totally transforms the idea of sculpture and use of materials and using pink in an amazingly raw way. There’s lovely little bits of humour in both of these artist’s works too, and something so powerful about the photographs you can find of them within their creations!

I am massively inspired by the reimagined world of surrealist photographers also; Andre Kertesz, Bianca Sforni, Karl Blossfeldt. These photographs keep me reminded of everything there is to discover within almost anything, a zoom or a crop reveals a whole new image and shape and thought about a subject which is always exciting to discover.

WHAT TRIGGERS YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS?

Almost anything! I’m constantly finding new inspiration that could be from the tiniest thing, but the more I draw it out in my sketchbook and flip it and crop it and abstract it, the bigger it grows into something new, and then it eventually may become a sculpture. Plants have a good way of doing that, my houseplants are constantly growing and changing with a new leaf or root or flower and seeing this process and capturing it with a camera provides a great little collection of inspiration.

WHAT ARE YOU WORKING ON AT THE MOMENT?

At the moment I’m working towards my degree show piece, a sculptural idea that I feel I can never explain fully without hand gestures! Being in my final year of uni and looking back at how my practice has developed, I’m aiming to combine everything I’ve taught myself, using the fabrics that have always been faithful to me. It is going to be a process of metamorphosis, the sculpture forever changing as I’m making with the aimed outcome to be a strange fleshy organic cocoon type entity suspended from the ceiling. I’m combining a ton of different inspirations together from the body, limbs, organs to beetle pupa, orange peel, sea horses, slugs, foam, and strange washed up sea objects. I want to create the odd feeling of not knowing if this thing is alive or dead, the strange in between like the beauty of a flower which is curling up and dying.

SEE MORE OF IYESHA WALKER

Instagram: @ahseyi

Website: www.ahseyi.co.uk/

‘ANATOMICAL VULNERABILITY’ IS A SERIES OF INTERVIEWS HIGHLIGHTING THE BEAUTY OF THE FEMALE ANATOMY AND INVESTIGATING HOW THE ROLE OF A FEMALE AND/OR THE EXPERIENCE OF TRAUMA CAN AFFECT THE BODY PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY TO CREATE DAMAGE OR DISTORTION.

[blackireanboltien]

JackxAshi, And why is really OK

After checking out all the reactions and comments about the events from the last Samurai Jack episode, I was genuienly surprised to see how polarizing this is. So I decided to give my opinion on the matter.

First of all: The father daughter dilemma.

As many of you know, many (for some reason) hoped for a fatherly relationship to develop between Ashi and Jack, something I nerver really comprehended. The reasons for it might be that above all I’m a shipper, and a sucker for hate to love relationships where one helps the other becoming a better person before falling to one another. The other reason and a more important one is that since the first episode I never considered Jack to be old. We know that he does not ages, so he never went over his 25 years(assuming he was in fact 25 when he got into the portal), Jack lived those 50 years without changing, as he said himself time lost its effect on him. He never became old, nor his mind; in many shows one can see a character go and age for some particular reason only to go back to his/her original age, in the narnia series some of the brothers and sisters went back to their childish ways while remembering their lives in narnia, they became adults but they were clearly childs with the memories of adulthood, Jack did not, his body and mind satyed the same only adquiring more experience and honestly tell me if a 25yo man would act or be like a 75yo just because you put him through the same stuff, the brain and mind changes over time, you lose things like balance and hearing, your cells replace each other less and less until you die, that’s how you age, you create more cells than you destroy until you are 21, stay in balance till 25 and start deteriorating from then on, if time has no effect on you, and you do not age, your mind will stay the same, same braincells same Jack, he saw time passing, but without it’s effects it only became memories to him rather that years of mental aging. This is crucial as Ashi is clearly in her late teens or early 20s making her 18-22 years old, an age gap very common between couples, it would be the equivalent of a naive or somewhat enclosed girl dating a guy who has seen bad stuff and travelled the world so really not much father daughter thing. At least for me.

Second of all: The Naive Ashi

This one is a small one not many complain about but I still want to adress it, basically people are saying that Ashi does not know better. While this has some truth, you have to remember that she is clearly not dumb, just inexperienced. She does not know about basic wildlife or other many things, but she is not completely ignorant, she knows about objects, machines, food and even some about people. She saved Jack from sepukku and knows the basics of the world, yet was never able to explore it, so it’s clear she is not as naive as many make her. Just pointing this one out.

Third of all: Things Being rushed

Ok, this one in particular makes sense while also not being clear to many. Yes, things between the two went from 0 to 10 relatively fast, but the context is what justifies and makes this relationship completely fine. For starters, Genndy had planned the ending for samurai jack years ago, and he stated that what we are watching is what he intended to be the end, the thing is he planned for smurai jack to last more than this. According to him, he had planned to end the series with more episodes, about 2 or 3 more 13 episode seasons, but when cartoon network/adult swim gave him the onpportunity to finish it they only gave him a very limited 10 episode season so he had to rush the plot to fit in 3 and a half hours of screen time, I’m sure he would have wanted to explore more of what jack did in those 50 years, how he encountered the daughters of aku, how he defeated them, meeting ashi, help liberating her, getting his sword and then possibly go on adventures as partners until something developed into romance. Just that gives one enough to make two other seasons so it really isn’t a surprise that he crammed some of this stuff into one episode. Just exploring and being haunted by the daughters, while keeping the format of other jack episodes would amount to 6 or 7 episodes alone, while the ashi arc would fill the rest to make for a complete season, and then another to find the sword and defeat aku.

Fourth and finally: It’s just a kiss

Ok obviousy it’s not just a kiss but I did not know how to put it in a better way, what I’m trying to say is that things like getting to know someone, realizing you like them and even a kiss, can and do in fact happen as fast as this. Tell me if you haven’t acted awkward around someone after you realized you liked them? or that you have never kissed someone as soon as you got the chance or after you realized that person also liked you? Things like this happen all the time and some even faster than this. Also until now Jack has been handeling his inner demons and suicidal thoughts, while Ashi has been discovering herself and literally sheding away her past, all of this plus worrying about the sword, aku and the ones who want to kill them. They haven’t had time to relax or think peacefully, that means no time to feel grateful for what the other did for them (saving jack from guilt and death and ashi from her life of lies as a killer). These two have done so much for the other, essentially saving their lives and giving them purpose, it’s natural they would feel affection towards the other, and it’s normal for them to develop romantic feelings for the other from that affection. Have you never had a crush on someone who has been good and nice to you? or that has done great things for you in a time where it seems only bad things are happening in your life? Or simply develop an attraction to someone just beacuse you have spent a lot of time together lately? I know I have, nearly all of them. These two getting together is fairly realistic giving the fact it’s a cartoon, but we are used to have things like romance expanded and explored over multiple episodes or even seasons in other shows, its ok that it feels rushed, but take in fact that relationships can be born just as fast as the one between jack and ashi, it just feels this way beacuse you say it in the span of 20 minutes. Also try thinking about what happened, they finally got time for themselves, they realized their affection for each other and then they kissed, sounds weird? no , not really, in fact the kiss makes more sense that anything to me. Jack and ashi just went through a phisical and mentally taxing situation while clearly being attracted to the other, they were almost killed by those slugs and nearly seeing your companion, that you clearly like being almost killed would put you in a state of emotional stress you can not even imagine and I hope you never do, and after all of that seeing each other alive it’s no surprise they kissed, they were overwhelmed by emotions, fear, relief, hapiness and even some sexual tension; any sane person under that circumstances would kiss the other, and you know it. Also it’s worht mentioning that people are for some reason saying this is full blown romance or something like that, they might have fallen in love with the other in a rushed fashion due to their encounter with the monster, but it is what it is, two people being attracted and acting upon it. Realistically that can happen as fast as we saw.

Finally, the other thing that I believe explains jack and ashi, is simple human nature; these two people have experienced so much pain, so much anger, so much sadness in their lives it’s natural if not mandatory for their brains to seek something better, after all I was once taught by a proffesor that humans alway search for a better state than the one they are currently on, always. Sometimes you believe it’s suicide to end all the pain, sometime is getting to know more about something as ignorance haunts you and sometimes is simply trying to find whatever happiness you can in something or even someone.

[bad-draft-stuff]

det. AU 18

Arsé-kun: Arséne: To absolutely no one's surprise, Harley's week-long vacation went poorly. That is how I am starting these notes, and you are not stopping me.

Sheepy: Nyar: Never would have noticed! Arsé-kun: Arséne: We unfortunately started off right as I finished the previous batch of notes, because that's when he dragged his ratty ass into my office while having some sort of bullshit-induced hallucinations. I know it's Hidden Potential based, but I quite literally have "Bullshit" written down, so stick with me. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he is not having fun. it's, again, too funky for his tastes and it only gets worse from here. he makes a face somewhere between a grimace and a lesser grimace* Arsé-kun: Arséne: That scene was solved primarily through proven medical techniques, but it absolutely did not end there. Randolph offered to help, and proceeded to almost lose all of the blood in his body to a squid I never want to see again. Or stab again. What was that, don't answer me. I don't want to know. Sheepy: Nyar: Aww. Arsé-kun: Randy: Star vampire, also known as a Star Shambler. Arsé-kun: Arséne: >:V Arsé-kun: Arséne: Thankfully, trash disposal came and took it out of my sight. I don't know how the Sir knew about it, I do not care, it is out of my hands at that point. Sheepy: Nyar: He probably smelled food and followed the scent. Arsé-kun: Arséne: You imply several horrible things. *he notes it anyway* Sheepy: Nyar: Yes, he probably ate it. Arsé-kun: Arséne: So! *ignoring that!* Instead of dealing with this nonsense, we- being myself, Harley, and Sherlock- took a case to find a missing pet. That was the easy part. The hard part was escaping a base full of werewolves- *he is unsure about that part* -And trying to retrieve any other animals afterwards. While none of us were injured, that went... Well, it went in a way and promptly ended up dealing with more nonsense. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Partially my fault because I ducked into the bar to avoid angry wolves. But it kept us alive, so it was worth it. Sheepy: Nyar: Yikes. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I counted at least three knights in that bar. Minimum. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... Right, Sir Griflet thinks you are ill and wants to beat the hell out of you. Just a reminder. Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, great. Looking forward to it. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Something or other about you acting out of character. I tried to stop him but too late I suppose. Sheepy: Nyar: Although, a collection of knights... A group of knights is called a Round Table! ...Just kidding. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I don't know enough on the topic to correct this. Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he shudders* Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Horrible. But I seem to be a quest-source for him, so I can probably steer him away. Maybe. Sheepy: Nyar: You should be safe for now. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I hope so. I'd die instantly. Sheepy: Nyar: Just don't call him stupid or say he's incapable of something. Sheepy: Nyar: He will go after your life. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... ... Can I skip over the next part in favor of "And then that happened?" Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... I am anyway. That proceeded to happen, and it was a fucking mess, pardon my language. Additional Hidden Potential victim discovered. Aleister taken out of commission and also shot by yours truly. We are not speaking of specifics. I refuse. But I am keeping this gun. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I despise guns. But if I despise strange things and tolerate you, I guess I'll tolerate this as well. Sheepy: Nyar: Why are you keeping it? Sheepy: Nyar: Just in case Harley's hidden potential activates again? Although, I guess he wouldn't be too bothered by being shot in that state... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Because it has proven useful and because I am getting rather tired of being caught unawares by things. Sheepy: Nyar: Makes sense. Sheepy: *Speaking of Grif, he walks in.* Arsé-kun: Arséne: Can you please knock before entering my office next time? Sheepy: Grif: ..... Sheepy: *Grif walks backwards and closes the door.* Arsé-kun: Arséne: I think I have made a mistake Sheepy: Grif: *He punches his fist through the door!* Arsé-kun: Arséne: *sighing loudly* Heeeeeeere's Johnny! Sheepy: Grif: Knock knock, it’s Griflet. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Yes, come in. Sheepy: Grif: Hello, Lupin. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Yes, hello. I don't appreciate the hole in my door, but don't worry about it. What do you want? Sheepy: Grif: Have you seen a dead body? He’s about this tall. Blond. Handsome. Kingly appearance. Sheepy: Grif: May or may not have a stab wound. Arsé-kun: Arséne: If I saw a dead body, I... Would not be sitting at my desk. I have not. Sheepy: Nyar: Gosh darn it Grif, what have I TOLD you about reanimating dead people?! Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... ... (please god, can i have just one good day?) Sheepy: Grif: If you see him, call for me. I will come. Oh, if you put out a box on a stick with meat under it, he should come for that too. Sheepy: Grif: He might be smart enough to get out of the box though. Sheepy: Grif: I assume he likes his meat cooked. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I deal with non-moving dead and mysteries of the normal criminal kind. This isn't my area of expertise. Sheepy: Grif: ... Hm. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: So that ghost in your stuffed animal is actually alive? Arsé-kun: Arséne: That is not mine. That is my son's. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Arsé-kun: Randy: ... *interruptus conversatus* Dead reanimated as in coming back to life legitimately, or the ia ia Yog kind that one Dr. West failed to perfect? Sheepy: Grif: First one. Arsé-kun: Randy: Much less concerning. Sheepy: Grif: By drawing the holy sword Excalibur, so too will King Arthur be drawn back to this world. Soon will the sword be pulled once more. Arsé-kun: Randy: Wasn't he supposed to only come back when needed most?? Sheepy: Grif: It concerns me. Sheepy: Grif: However, the necessary dialogue has been said, so I can tell that he’s returning soon. Is it simply the sword being drawn? Or a worse darkness? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Considering he didn't surface for an alien slug bastard, I don't want to know what's so bad that he might be needed. Sheepy: Nyar: Babysitting Grif. Arsé-kun: Arséne: .... *snrk* Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, tell me if you see him. Oh, yes, I forgot Sheepy: Grif: *he starts digging through his bag* Sheepy: *Grif gives Arsene an orb* Arsé-kun: Arséne: ....? Sheepy: Grif: It’s the Orb of Good Fortune. It boosts your money slightly. But they drop so often in certain areas that I don’t need so many. Sheepy: Grif: It’s a Yorb. Arsé-kun: Randy: ..... I have several questions? Sheepy: Grif: Go on. Arsé-kun: Randy: Why do you have that? Sheepy: Grif: I have multiple. Arsé-kun: Randy: And why do you have several manifestations of Yog Sothoth in physical form? Sheepy: Grif: Because he’s my dad. Arsé-kun: Randy: I. Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes he gets lonely. So if you talk to this, he might feel happier. Arsé-kun: Randy: Yog's ult gnaiih??? Sheepy: Grif: Yurt. Arsé-kun: Randy: Hhhhhhhhhhhuh. Sheepy: Grif: My appearance is due to avoidance of the random function. I take after my Dad. I look a lot like him. Arsé-kun: Randy: I see. This makes sense. Sheepy: Grif: However, none of my draconic features have grown in yet, so I'm not taken seriously by my siblings. Sheepy: Grif: Furthermore, I do not understand humans very well, so I tend to be shunned and feared. This is due to my Charisma being low. Sheepy: Grif: Right, the orb is named Seir. Do you like it? Arsé-kun: Arséne: It's certainly something. Sheepy: Grif: It's good for thieves. Arsé-kun: Arséne: I'm a detective. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif:....Hmmm.... Arsé-kun: Arséne: I'll find a use for it. Sheepy: *Grif brings up Lupin's page on his menu* Arsé-kun: *it does say detective. this is not new* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmmm... Sheepy: Grif: I see. You seemed shady so I just decided that you robbed people. Arsé-kun: Arséne: How rude. To imply I'd be a purse snatcher or some low life like that.. Sheepy: Grif: So I thought very hard about what gift you would like. Arsé-kun: *Fancy name or not, an orb is an orb. More physical and solid than Yog personally, and much more purple, but an orb is an orb* Sheepy: Grif: Do you like me more now because of my gift? My Relationships guide said that people will like me more if I give them gifts. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... Sure. I suppose I appreciate it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. We're closer now. Sheepy: Grif: Soon I will unlock 1 Bond Heart. Arsé-kun: Randy: you can just give offsets of sothoth to people in physical form... Jesus christ how horrifying. Nyar, is this the shit you deal with? Sheepy: Nyar: He tries to slaughter me when he sees me because he thinks I'm a mini boss. Arsé-kun: Arséne: No boss battles in my office. Sheepy: Grif: I look forward to your respawn times, but camping your corpse prevents others from farming you. Sheepy: Nyar: Have you ever considered that you have no friends because you say horrible things with a straight face? Arsé-kun: Yog: *unhelpfully from Seir* At least I never taught him to T-bag. Sheepy: Nyar: If you had, I wouldn't be so tolerant...! Sheepy: Grif: Your drops are rare. Sheepy: Nyar: If you want stuff, just ask for it! Sheesh! Sheepy: Grif: No, if I eviscerate you, I can get drops without speaking to you. Arsé-kun: Arséne: No pvp in my office!! Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Can I at least bond with you? Arsé-kun: Arséne: You already are. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Good. This makes me happy. Sheepy: Grif: I can introduce you to someone you haven't met. Sheepy: Grif: *he lifts up Elyan* It's Elyan. Sheepy: Grif: He's a bird. Sheepy: Grif: As you can see, over half of tbe lengrh of his body is his tail. What a fancy bird. Sheepy: Nyar: That's not a bird. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Looks like a bird. It's a bird. Sheepy: Nyar: If it's a bird, it's a waterfowl. Arsé-kun: Arséne: In return.. *he exits scene and returns with Pepper* This is Pepper. He is very small. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Pepper is cute. Sheepy: Grif: Is Pepper related to, eh... Sheepy: Grif:...*he does bunny ears with his pointer fingers above his head* Sheepy: Grif: "Run awayyy~" Sheepy: Grif: Bors Slayer. Sheepy: Grif: If not, he's much cuter. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... Unlikely? Sheepy: Grif: I see. Good. Pepper is cute. Sheepy: Nyar: Why do you have that? Sheepy: Grif: Elyan's my friend. Arsé-kun: Arséne: So what I'm getting out of this is that isn't a bird. Sheepy: Grif: He's a bird. He's Elyan. Arsé-kun: Arséne: That's what I thought. Sheepy: Grif: He does normal bird things. Like pecking at things. And absorbing sources of water. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Is the word you want "Drinking"? Sheepy: Grif: ...? Sheepy: Grif: Do you have a water source? Arsé-kun: Arséne: We have a kitchen sink? Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I will show you. Come, come. *Grif heads to the kitchen* Arsé-kun: *Randy pinches the bridge of his (own) nose and grumbles* Arsé-kun: Randy: ...a'nhash ya l'nafl-mnahn’ul ult Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, don’t say that where he can hear you. Sheepy: Nyar: He’ll take that seriously. Arsé-kun: Randy: He'll be next on line to break me in half like a kit kat bar. Sheepy: Nyar: Great. Arsé-kun: Randy: I still owe Hast at least three ribs and Cxa wants to vore me. That doesn't even begin to cover what I owe Y'Gonads... Sheepy: Nyar: That’s your problem. Arsé-kun: Randy: :') Sheepy: Nyar: What can I do? Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. Give me your ribs and I’ll deliver them. Arsé-kun: Randy: ... They're attached to my spine and Dad said no dismembering in the house. Sheepy: Grif:...Just snap them off...? Sheepy: Grif: They grow back. Just like my cousin's arm did. It's metal now, but it should work just as fine. Arsé-kun: *I don't have the words to describe the face he's making* Sheepy: Nyar:...Like, a prosthetic arm? Sheepy: Grif: No, it's made of metal, not prosthetic. Arsé-kun: Yog: it's prosthetic. Sheepy: Grif: I see...A metal looking material called prosthetic. Sheepy: Nyar:..... Arsé-kun: Randy: ..... Sheepy: Nyar: Are you intentionally incompe....Eh, twisting my words? Sheepy: Grif: I cannot twist your words unless you write them down. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... A prosthetic is a replacement limb. What it is made of does not matter. You now learned a thing. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: [Prosthetic Limb added to Dictionary] Arsé-kun: *arsene checks on the bird in the sink* Sheepy: *There is no water in the sink despite the tap being on and the drain being covered...* Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: *Randy continues to look like 0:21 of Gamly Gramply from 2016 while this happens* Arsé-kun: Arséne: Are you enjoying that? Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: *Elyan looks cozy!* Sheepy: Nyar: Hey Randy, wanna play "guess the Eldritch Abomination"? Or should I spoil who that is? Sheepy: Nyar: Although, I guess he isn't an abomination... Arsé-kun: Randy: Give me a hint. Sheepy: Nyar: It's a Great Old One and water based. Arsé-kun: Randy: That is... Shockingly unhelpful. Sheepy: Nyar: Okay, it's literally made of water. Arsé-kun: Randy: Oh, that's Cath.. No, wait. Sheepy: Nyar: You're close! Arsé-kun: Randy: Cthhhh...aaaaaaaat? Sheepy: Nyar: Yup! Arsé-kun: Randy: That's a Great old one? I thought they were a minor deity.. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, it's water. Sheepy: Nyar: Don't worry, Lupin. Cthaat's not very intelligent and likes humans. So they should be harmless. Sheepy: Elyan: *he doesn't seem interested in the conversation. cozy* Sheepy: Nyar: They might watch you but their brain is probably just printer noises. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... So it's a regular bird but water? Sheepy: Nyar: Yup. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Good to know. Sheepy: Grif: He's my friend. Sheepy: Grif:...Ah, my Main Quest updated. I have to go to the lake. Sorry to cut this short. Let's socialize again soon, Lupin. Sheepy: *Grif rushes out with Elyan!* Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... what Sheepy: *Meanwhile, at the lake...* Arsé-kun: Fou: fou? Sheepy: Bedi: Kay, did you find anything? Arsé-kun: Kay: *sopping wet and having just walked out of the lake* sword's gone Sheepy: Bedi: What?! ...B-but what about his body? Arsé-kun: Kay: Just a body?? A rock? A gravesite???? A fucking cross to hang myself on???? What was I supposed to be looking for?!?! Sheepy: Bedi:....I, I apologize... Um... Sheepy: Bedi: His body is in there. I know, because, um, I put it there. Sheepy: Bedi: Did grave robbers get to it... Is it still there? Arsé-kun: Kay: *he groans and turns around to stomp back down the lake shore* Whatever, I don't know. Let me look again. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you, Kay. I appreciate it. Arsé-kun: *Kay continues complaining under his breath, even as he goes under the surface. Good bye Kay* Sheepy: *Merlin's phone starts ringing!* Arsé-kun: *DON'T STOP, MAKE IT POP, DJ BLOW MY SPEAKERS UP, TONIGHT, IMMA-♫* Arsé-kun: Merlin: jesus fucking hoes *he picks up* Yeah, what's up? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, there's two kids here wiith a sword. Pretty sure it's the sword we're looking for. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What do you MEAN there's kids with a sword??? Follow them! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, yeah, I am. The girl looks like she's related to Arthur, so I'm guessing she's a descendant. I guess genes work in mysterious, plot convenient ways... The boy's got obnoxious Kay feels. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just what we need. Two of them. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yup. Sheepy: Myrrdin: How long am I supposed to follow them for...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Until we can catch up to confirm that it really is the sword..! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right, sounds good. Sheepy: Bedi: We should rush. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And ditch Kay? He'll kill us. Sheepy: Bedi:...Hmm, I guess so... Sheepy: Bedi: Um...How should we work this...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You go, I'll wait. Sheepy: Bedi: Right! Sheepy: *Bedi rushes to find the two!* Sheepy: ?: ...Um, are you okay? You've been following me for a while... You look tired. Do you need help? Arsé-kun: ??: ..... Have I been..? My deepest apologies, dear lass. I did not mean to do so.. Sheepy: ?: It's fine. Are you okay? I can help you. Arsé-kun: ??: I suppose...? I am in one piece at least... I think.. Sheepy: ?: You're kind of floaty. Sheepy: ?: ...Oh! You must be the ghost in this sword, right? I felt a pull to it. Was that you? Arsé-kun: ??: Sword.... Ah! *he has spotted the sword finally* Yes, that sword was once mine. Sheepy: ?: Really? Who are you? My name is Aru. I pulled this sword out of a rock. Arsé-kun: ??: Arthur. A pleasure to meet you. *he bows, but as he's floating, he goes Too far and ends up tumbling over himself in midair. He adjusts himself quickly but it still happened. How Embarrassing!* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, so that's how a ghost trips! Sheepy: Aru: Oh, Arthur... King Arthur, pulling a sword...So this is Excalibur, and that's where Sir Bedivere must've tossed the sword... And by pulling it, i woke you up. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *he looks confused about how he accomplished that* ... Sir Bedivere returned Excalibur to Lady Vivian's lake.... Or so he told me... Sheepy: Aru: That's how the story goes. Sheepy: Aru: But that's where I found the sword. Sheepy: Aru: So unless someone moved it, either that's her lake or he threw it into the wrong lake. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... *he looks around* .. This is not Vivan's lake. .... How queer. Sheepy: Aru: Hmm...Well, that story's old enough that we can't ask him anymore. Sheepy: Aru: But the story said that he lied a few times before he finally returned it for real. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Then I suppose he did. He was never a good liar. Sheepy: Aru: So someone must have moved it...And you didn't wake up? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Mayhaps I did. If so, I certainly am not recalling it.. Sheepy: Aru: I guess it's a mystery... Sheepy: Aru: Do you want it back? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would, but it has been drawn by someone new. Therefore, unless absolutely required, I believe it is yours. Sheepy: Aru:...Umm, good thing that it doesn't choose kings anymore! Hahaha... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....? That no longer applies? Sheepy: Aru: I'm still in high school. I can't become any kind of ruler... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe it wanted Cain...? He's older than me by a few years and is fairly dependable. Sheepy: Aru: But I don't really hear about kings and queens anymore. Now we just elect political officials to make laws for us! ...Oh, I guess you only woke up, right? So when you're more with it, I can tell you about the current world. Sheepy: Aru: Since we'll be sticking together, later I'll tell you more about myself too! And you can tell me more about yourself if you want. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That sounds good. For now, I'm content to observe what has changed. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Which seems to be quite a bit. I barely recognize the surroundings at all. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's to be expected, but it couldn't have been that long... What has it been, one hundred years? Perhaps two hundred? Sheepy: Aru: It's the year 2020. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... .... .... We survived this long? That's amazing! Sheepy: Aru: Yup! I can tell you what your surroundings are, too! They must be very different. Sheepy: *Aru points to a car* Sheepy: Aru: That's a car. It's basically a manmade horse, but it can go twice as fast and doesn't need food nor water. Just fuel called "gasoline". Arsé-kun: Arthur: Then whatever did we do with the horses? We still have those, yes? Sheepy: Aru: Now people keep them as pets and race them against each other for sport. Sometimes people bet on them. Sheepy: Aru: You can also go places that let you ride horses. I have a few times with Cain, but... Sheepy: Aru: Cain gets too excited on them and they panic. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is a shame. I would have thought horses would mellow over the years. Sheepy: Aru: .....? Sheepy: Aru: No, they're bred to be more anxious now. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Why? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of being dependable? Sheepy: Aru: They don't fight in combat anymore, so... Arsé-kun: Arthur: What about hounds? Are they still dependable? Sheepy: Aru: Depends on the breed. Sheepy: Aru: They're kept as pets mostly. Rarely are they ever used to hunt nor guard things. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Cats? Sheepy: Aru: They're kept as pets too generally. They think they rule the household, which they'd be right about. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So that hasn't changed. Sheepy: Aru: Yeah. Sheepy: Aru: I saw a dog with a mustache a bit back. Arsé-kun: Arthur: :O Sheepy: Aru: Cain's roommate has a cat. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... May I request to see them? Sheepy: Aru: Yeah, I can show you his cat! Arsé-kun: Arthur: :) Sheepy: Aru: We have a lot of animals you probably haven't seen before! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Then I am willing to wager in return that I've seen animals you have not. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Sheepy: Aru: Like the dodo? Sheepy: Aru: Those are extinct. Arsé-kun: Arthur: the What? Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I guess not. Sheepy: Aru: It was a huge flightless bird. It's extinct now! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... What about bears? I believe that population was rather low in my time. Sheepy: Aru: There's tons of bears. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe not right around here, but there's all sorts of bears and they live all over the world. Sheepy: Aru: You can find a few at the local zoo...Oh, you've never been to the zoo. Arsé-kun: Arthur: What is a zoo? And do bears live in the sea? Sheepy: Aru: A zoo is where they put all sorts of animals so they can rehabilitate endamgered species and let people see them and learn about them. Sheepy: Aru: There's water bears, but, um... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Do they... Do they.... Sheepy: Aru: Do they? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Do they have salamanders? Sheepy: Aru: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's wonderful. Sheepy: Aru: They're cute! Sheepy: Aru: But you don't have to worry about water bears because you can't see them! There's probably even a few nearby! Arsé-kun: Arthur: dear god. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Arsé-kun: Arthur: they're invisible water bears?? Sheepy: Aru: Well, they're so small that you can't see them. Arsé-kun: Arthur: They are bugs? Sheepy: Aru: They're a micro-animal. Umm...I don't think they're bugs, but they have eight legs. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ??? ???? ??????? Sheepy: Aru: They live everywhere! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Tiny invisible ocean bears.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: *looking around, and slightly past Aru* .... What about wizards? Are they extinct yet? Sheepy: Aru: No, I guess not. Sheepy: Aru: There are people who imitate them. They're fairly popular... In fact, "Merlin" has basically become synonymous with "wizard"! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Correct- Arsé-kun: *Arthur is cut off by the Excalibur lighting up and zapping some poor sod behind Aru that tried to grab it. Goodbye, Merlin. You absolutely deserved that.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... At this rate, they will go extinct. Sheepy: Aru:?! Who are you?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: According to you just now, the essential wizard! *he's got his hair in front of his face like a beard. Merlin. Merlin. you stop that* The Excalibur is still in perfect working order! Sheepy: Aru:....? Sheepy: Aru: But isn't Merlin supposed to be dead? Arsé-kun: Merlin: "Supposed to" is the key words here, young miss! :) :) :) Sheepy: Aru: But...Vivian?... Arsé-kun: *Merlin shudders* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Please inform his partner in crime I can see him as well. Myrrdin is not subtle. Sheepy: Aru: There's more than one Merlin?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Three. They share the role of court mage with different areas of expertise. Why, does history only name the one? Sheepy: Aru: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is tragic. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't see nor hear him... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Touch the vessel of the soul. Touch the sword, do it now. Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he touches the sword* --Gghhhk! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would now like to repeat myself. Wizards will go extinct. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I did it for you! How hurtful! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Even when doing things for me, that has not... ... *processing* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he pushes his hair off his face and glances upwards* I want to cry, but my eyeliner cost forty-eight dollars... We've been waiting for a day like this..! Sheepy: Aru: Is that why you were watching me from behind a car? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It was! And it seems the Excalibur likes you, so we are not able to do anything about this. Sheepy: Aru:...Likes me? I don't have to become a king, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, of course not. Swords distributed by a watery tart is no means for a system of government. Sheepy: Aru: ....No surprise you like that movie. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, but the Sword in the Stone is my favorite! Sheepy: Aru: Really? Because you're in it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: .. That is a helpful factor, but not the cause! Sheepy: Aru: What is? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Now, now, if I get into that, it may last all day! Sheepy: *A brunette with a messy mullet comes running over!* Sheepy: ?: Sheesh, you're so slow, Aru! Go talk to strangers later! ...W-wait, no! Don't talk to strangers at all!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're strangely unconcerned that this girl has a sword. Sheepy: ?: Well, duh, we pulled it out! I loosened it for her! So it's "we"!! Sheepy: ?: I don't get why she's gotta carry it, though. She said it's so light! Meanwhile, it stung me a ton! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is this Kay..?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: The girl looks a lot like you and her name is similar... Sheepy: Myrrdin: And this guy's name is Cain... Cai... ...Kay. Huh. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It really is just Arthur and Kay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How interesting! He's not nearly as horrible as the original. Sheepy: Cain: What're you rambling about...? You're creeping me out! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Your sister has taken ownership of my sword, so a comparison of my own brother was made to you. ... Try not to grab at the sword too much. Sheepy: Cain: ...Eh?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: It is far more damaging outside of the water. Sheepy: Cain: Gh-ghost....! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *FREE FOOD!* Sheepy: Cain: Aru...! H-how many times do I gotta tell you?! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...? Oh, I suppose you're right. Hm. Sheepy: Cain: Stop befriending ghosts! They're so freaky! Arsé-kun: Merlin: If it makes you feel better, he's the only ghost here! :D Sheepy: Cain: First that Mordred creep, now...Who are you?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm Merlin, he's Myrrdin, and what do you MEAN Mordred is still around?? Sheepy: Cain: He's some obnoxious ghost Aru picked up! He likes playing pranks on us! Aru always lets him get away wih it, too...! Sheepy: Aru: I don't know, I think he's fairly endearing. Sheepy: Aru: So far he's been harmless. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can already hear the impending arguments about exorcising the traitor. Sheepy: Aru: Well, um... Sheepy: Aru: Arthur, I need to tell you something important. Sheepy: Aru: Umm... The ghosts at the dorm are probably predominantly people you know because of how close it was to where your final battle took place. Sheepy: Aru: I was so excited about meeting you that I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry. That was selfish of me. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...... ........ *he was stuck on the Mordred part until now, and he visibly pales* Thank... You..? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Dear diary, today I learned that ghosts can get pale. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ghosts can look like they've seen a ghost! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Dear diary, today I lost my diary, so I'm writing this on the back of both my copies of Kung Fu Panda! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Everyone was kung fu fighting... Sheepy: Aru: But don't worry, I'll protect you! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Not sure how you will, but you may.... Try...? Sheepy: Aru: I know how to deal with them. Sheepy: Aru: There's one face you should be happy about seeing at least! Sheepy: Aru: Your butler, Sir Lucan. He's a bit stiff but he's surprisingly helpful with homework. It turns out that he reads my textbooks while I'm not using them... Sheepy: Aru: I haven't seen Sir Lancelot, Sir Bedivere, umm... Sheepy: Aru: Well, a lot, I guess. Although if Sir Bedivere's ghost is sticking around, I'd guess it'd be by your grave rather than his... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lancelot has been involved in some... Shenanigans, let's say. Sheepy: Bedi: Merliiin! Have you found anythi...?! Sheepy: Aru: Shenanigans like that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'know? I think we may have. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And yes. Like this. Sheepy: Aru: ...Hmm, Sir Lancelot looks, um, less... Sheepy: Aru:...Berserk than I was expecting. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, this is Bedi. Sheepy: Aru: Huh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Like this, but this is Bedi. Lancelot's doing who knows what. I'm not his boss. Sheepy: *Bedi hesitantly approaches Arthur, shocked, before stopping in his tracks and kneeling, his head down* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I see. Sheepy: Cain: Why are you so relaxed about this?! Arsé-kun: *Arthur kneels down to Bedi's level and pats his shoulder (or tries)* Sheepy: Bedi: My King...I...B-because of me...You cannot find rest even in death...! Instead of returning your sword, I lied to you twice...! Even though I returned it... There's no way you could rest knowing your final moments were full of lies... I'm sorry... Sheepy: *Bedi's crying... a rare sight!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: I can't say I didn't doubt you briefly upon returning, but that would not be your doing. I knew my favorite knight would do the right thing. *pat, pat* Please do not cry, Bedivere. The court excuses your sin. Sheepy: Bedi:...Wh-what...? Sheepy: Bedi: F...favorite.... ...Even after everything... You still consider me your knight? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Whyever would I not? Do you doubt yourself that much, good Sir? Sheepy: Bedi:...I... Sheepy: Bedi: I thought I was a disgrace not worthy to be called a knight after my actions... Arsé-kun: Arthur: If I never took any other knight's titles for their disgraces, why would I have taken yours? Sheepy: Bedi: Because I was not worthy of it in the first place. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is most certainly wrong. I won't hear another word of this until you change your mind. Is that clear, Sir Knight? Sheepy: Bedi: I'm sorry. I spoke out of place. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Accepted. Please do not be so hard on yourself. You've done so well. Sheepy: Bedi:....! Sheepy: Bedi:....I've...done well....? Arsé-kun: Arthur: You've done so well. Can I continue to depend on you? Sheepy: Bedi:....! Sheepy: Bedi: Of course...! If you wish me to...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would appreciate it. Sheepy: Bedi: Just as I have lived to become a knight you could depend on...I will not pass until you no longer desire my assistance...! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Phew, I thought he was a goner for sure. Nice save. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, right. You wouldn't know. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He's not dead. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Rather, he never died. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Was this your work? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh, we helped keep him animated, I guess? We didn't give him extra years and we didn't make him immortal. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Since the soul can remain alive long after the body has turned to stone!...Of course, we aren't going to let it turn to stone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So, that's functionally immortal but not actually. He'd stick around for you even if we didn't. *Merlin is strangely bitter about this* Sheepy: Myrrdin: He's keeping his soul alive all of these years later from his love for you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He feels like he needs to become a knight you could praise and depend on and refuses to die until he becomes that... So when you implied he'd accomplished that, well, I could feel him wavering some. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I certainly did not want to kill him. Why give up now when he's made it this far? Sheepy: Myrrdin: 'Cause everyone's gotta die eventually I guess? Don't ask me. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But you're still here, and so is Merlin.... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, we're not fully human, so we're an exception to the rule.. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...But, yeah, you're right. It's kind of cruel, in a way. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's hard watching humans come and go. It's hard watching them grow old and their memory fail.. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yup. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, if I got emotionally invested in someone and they forgot important things about me? It'd kinda hurt... Arsé-kun: Merlin: That would hurt so much. Imagine that, but nothing you do about it works. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah... Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Life's kinda cruel! Arsé-kun: Merlin: So is the lake twat! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Y-ugh!!!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Gosh! Sheepy: Bedi: *he appears confused...* Sheepy: Bedi: Did you go through that before, Merlin? Sheepy: Bedi: Don't worry. I won't do that to you. *he smiles innocently...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Don't do this to me, babe. Please. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize... I won't pry again. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not... ... Okay, you guys do whatever, I'm gonna peel off to go drain some innocent people of happiness so I can hold up my facade of being a functional human and then yell at Kay for being slow as shiiiiit! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Merlin, are you alright? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope! *peace, peace* Sheepy: Bedi: Do you want to talk about it? Or do you just want some time to yourself? Arsé-kun: Merlin: This would be the fourth time this month I'd be explaining it to you, hun. Sheepy: Bedi:... Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. Sheepy: Bedi: If there's anything I can do... Sheepy: Bedi: Please tell me. I will help you in my greatest capacity. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can start by helping the King and making sure we don't completely fuck up the lives of some cute children. Sheepy: Bedi:...Right! I will do my best. Arsé-kun: *Merlin fingerguns and peels off to go back the way they came* Sheepy: Bedi: Hm...What did I do wrong... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sorry you had to see all that, Arthur. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm... I'm still sorting all of this out. Did... Did he say Kay? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yup. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Is he like Bedivere, but angrier? Sheepy: Bedi: We aren't at all alike but he is my dearest friend. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, Grif dragged him here via time travel. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I feel like that is unnatural. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh, it's Grif. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... This is very true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He was in the lake looking for the sword. Sheepy: Bedi:...... Sheepy: Bedi: Right, he found your grave instead... Sheepy: Bedi: I was certain I buried you above ground... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Poor Kay... If he was brought to now, then did he have time to grieve..? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Nope. Arsé-kun: Arthur: How cruel and natural for Griflet. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It didn't even truly hit him you were dead until recently. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's Grif. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He doesn't care about anyone's feelings but his own. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I recently learned that he didn't actually know the laws of chivalry. Arsé-kun: Arthur: One of my advisors couldn't read, but I didn't mind reminding him of rules. He had good ideas sometimes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, he couldn't read either... Oh, unless you were talking about Grif? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Grif, good ideas? Nah... that can't be him. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ....*snnnrrrkkk* Sheepy: Myrrdin: He follows a guide on how to make friends. Arsé-kun: Arthur: He got one? Good for him. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He stinks at it, but he's putting in the effort. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He gave me a shiny rock earlier and then punched me when he decided I didn't like it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: So it's exactly the same? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yup. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Oh, and where's Meril? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh, it's awkward. He's trapped in a bar. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Like a tavern? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yup. Sheepy: Myrrdin: He tends it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Unfortunately, I won't be able to visit, then. Kids cannot enter taverns. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, it's not a real tavern. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Although...kids aren't allowed in or around bars, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: If Excalibur's passed to Bedi when you want to visit, it should be fine. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Would that work..? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess you can't swap to possessing his arm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, he tossed it, so he should be able to borrow it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... ? oH, I never noticed his arm among all else happening..! Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin made it for me. It's based after the Excalibur. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'll have to compliment him when he comes back. It looks fantastic. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. It's very useful. Sheepy: Bedi:...I wonder if Merlin"s okay. Sheepy: Bedi: I don't understand what I did wrong, but I need to make sure not to do it again. Sheepy: Myrrdin: ...Uhuh. I can explain later, although... I'm not sure that I'm the best person to do so. Arsé-kun: Kay: Since when are you good at anything? *pbbbbt* Get fucked. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Kay..! Arsé-kun: Kay: Gross, a floating Wart! Arsé-kun: Kay: It's almost like nothing's happened, but you're floating and I can punch through you like a wet scroll! Arsé-kun: Kay: And you can keep up underwater now, you ominous prick, isn't that neat?! Arsé-kun: *Kay is excited but trying to hide it. All that upset about Arthur being gone, but he's right here!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: !!! Sheepy: Bedi: Kay...? When did you get here? ..Oh, Merlin must've told you that the King was here so you rushed over! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...He came with us when we went to the lake... Sheepy: Bedi: Eh?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I go into the water one time and you forget about me?? Daaamn, you senile? Do you need to retire, old man Bedivere?? Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, low blow, Kay. Just don’t say that sort of stuff around Merlin. It eats him up enough as it is. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, fuck him too. Bastard. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But, to answer your question... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Basically, he is ending up that way it seems like. I guess humans simply aren’t supposed to live this long. Sheepy: Bedi: No. That’s not true. Arsé-kun: Kay: It ain't? Then what's your opinion, Bed? Sheepy: Bedi: I’ve always been on the forgetful side, so this isn’t new. That’s my opinion, anyway. Sheepy: Bedi: Unless you meant on something else..? Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I mean, you're right, but not this bad. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, I know. You're so goddamn excited about your King that nothing else matters, huh? Sheepy: Bedi:...! Yes, I suppose so. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe that's why Merlin left? The excitement was too much for him...? Arsé-kun: Kay: We gotta get you a menu like Grif has. Then you can look back to see what the fuck you were doing. Sheepy: Bedi: Menu? That thing he has? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's what he says it's called. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Do you have one, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: No. I can remember what I'm doing for more than an hour, unlike him. Sheepy: Bedi: Is his memory bad too...? Maybe it just runs in the family... Although Lucan's was caused by a bad head injury... Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucan had an excuse to be a moron. Grif absolutely does not. Arsé-kun: Kay: So anyone wanna tell me why we're following some babies? Sheepy: Grif: --Kaaaaaaaaayyyyyy!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Sheepy: Grif: I found a shiny rock for you! And a bird. But I already ate that. Arsé-kun: Kay: Um. Good work. Sheepy: Grif: You can have the shiny rock. *he gives Kay a pebble, visibly proud of himself* I found this just for you, so you better treasure it. Arsé-kun: *Kay looks at the pebble. ah yes. this rock is made out of rock* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Hello, Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Sheepy: Grif: Hello, Mr. Ghost. Sheepy: Grif: Oh, you're the King. Sheepy: Grif: So I was right on my predictions. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I guess so! Apparently! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, aren't you excited at all? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Wise dragon of the rocks, do you have any advice? Sheepy: Grif: Please remember something important about possession. Sheepy: Grif: What ghost in must ghost out. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Thank you for the jest and advice, Advisor. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Yes. Another thing. Sheepy: Grif: You are weak to salt, so make sure to stay away from Sir Agravain if he makes his appearance. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Good to know. Thank you. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Right. Your cor... Oh. Is that spoilers... Sheepy: Grif: Well, wait until the time has come to learn that information. If I tell you, it might detract from shock value... Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet, what are you talking about? Sheepy: Bedi: Will you really hide..."spoilers" for shock value...? From the king, as his advisor? Sheepy: Grif: It's not information he needs until he needs it. Sheepy: Grif: And when the necessary dialogue is unlocked, he'll get what he needs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Telling someone spoilers is how you ruin a timeline~~ Arsé-kun: Merlin: I would know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's why I don't share everything I see! If I did, we'd be spiraling into something we'd be unprepared for! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I need to prepare for what my menu tells me. But I can’t spoil things. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Merlin, you’re back...! Sheepy: Grif: However, I can tell you a comprehensive list of every knight currently alive to my reasonable knowledge. Sheepy: Grif: Every knight before you along with Sir Lancelot. The Queen is also still around. Presumably due to contracts they’ve formed. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And Meril! He's just busy with a day job. Sheepy: Grif: Is being trapped in a bar a day job? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a job he has, and it's during the day. Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Grif: But he mostly just sleeps... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Minimum customers, minimum work! Sheepy: Grif: Like making a sandwich by simply eating the materials individually. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I mean, sure! Sheepy: Grif: Do you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Heck, sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: You eat the meat. The meat. The vegetable. The cheese. The meat. Sheepy: Bedi: Where's the bread? Sheepy: Grif: You eat your sandwich with bread? Sheepy: Bedi: A sandwich needs bread. Sheepy: Grif: Wrong, a sandwich is anything that has a top, a bottom, and a middle. Arsé-kun: Merlin: A sandwich is defined as food that is held in one hand and between two slices of bread! Sheepy: Grif: You are weak. Sheepy: Grif: I will eat your sandwiches without the bread. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Joke's on you, it's all bread. Sheepy: Grif: You weak, foolish man. You rely on bread so heavily you cannot see that a sandwich is nothing without its insides. Sheepy: Grif: You see only the outside and have no comprehension of the inside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I mean a piece of fairy bread between slices of toast. It's all bread. Bitch. Sheepy: Grif:....Fairy bread? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, actual fae not included. It's just a name for bread with sprinkles. Sheepy: Grif: Hey Paimon. Define Sprinkle. Arsé-kun: Yog: There are several definitions, but I understand which you want. Arsé-kun: Yog: "Sprinkles" are defined as: tiny sugar shapes, typically rods and balls, used for decorating cakes, ice cream, and other desserts. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: So fairy bread is a sprinkle sandwich. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Basically! Sheepy: Grif: A depression sandwich. So it has a depression in the middle to store the sprinkles. Arsé-kun: Merlin: D: Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Arthur: What is a depression? Sheepy: Grif: Depression. Noun. A concave area on a surface.... Sheepy: Grif: No. Wait. Sheepy: Grif: Depression. Noun. A common and serious medical condition that affects the way you act, feel, and think. Sheepy: Grif: Symptoms: Mood swings, sadness, pain, trouble sleeping, lack of energy... Eh... Sheepy: Grif:.... Sadness... Sheepy: Grif: Example use: "Merlin has depression". Arsé-kun: Merlin: I came here to have a good time and I am feeling SO attacked right now! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Um. Yes, thank you. Sheepy: Grif: Congratulations. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin. Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready for a gift? Arsé-kun: Merlin: is it a rock. Sheepy: Grif: Behold. A book. Sheepy: *Merlin receives a picture book of frogs.* Sheepy: Grif: It's a book on frogs. I bought it for you because you're like a frog so you might find comfort in seeing frogs. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't get it at all, but thanks! Arsé-kun: *slight bond increase* Sheepy: Grif: You look around for mates, you get disoriented by bright lights, you sing, and you eat the occasional fly. ....Ha. Ha. Ha. The last one is a joke. Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Arthur quietly laughs. Joke approved by the King* Sheepy: Grif: Do you like things? Tell me these things. Sheepy: Grif: I read that you will like me and be my friend if I give you gifts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not really a good way to have a stable relationship, but hey, what do I know? I'm not your weeb dad. Sheepy: Grif: Stable... Sheepy: Grif: Horse... Arsé-kun: Kay: i want my horse back Sheepy: Grif: ...Buddy... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Related, I have been informed horses of this time period are more prone to being nervous and scared. Is this true? Sheepy: Grif: I miss Buddy... Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Horses aren't used in combat anymore so they don't need as much courage. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That means horses have a lower mortality rate, then! Sheepy: Grif:....Oh, so I've been doing friendships wrong...Friends are too hard to make. I don't get it... Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose so...but if they break a leg while running races, they put them down. Sheepy: Grif: If I run out of gifts, nobody will be my friend anymore is the end result of giving gifts to boost bond points, hm. How do I make friends... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Down where? Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Sheepy: Bedi: They put them down, as in they put them to sleep with...Oh, right, you don't know about that. They kill them. Arsé-kun: Arthur: whhhhhhhhAT Sheepy: Bedi: Horses can't recover from it and it's excruciatingly painful, so... Sheepy: Bedi: They're killed. Arsé-kun: Kay: :v Sheepy: Grif: Buddy... Sheepy: Grif: I miss Buddy... Arsé-kun: Kay: Then ask your dad of magic to get your damn horse! Sheepy: Grif: Uh...But... Sheepy: Grif: It's different than us coming here. Arsé-kun: Kay: That horse has seen some shit. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: He'd been with me since the day I begged the King to let me become a knight... Sheepy: Grif: Merlin. You must teach me how to make friends later. Okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can try, but I'm better at one night stands. Sheepy: Grif: I don't want that. Sheepy: Grif: I don't care about that. Sheepy: Grif: My Charisma is very low. My Charm is high. That is how I got a wife. Sheepy: Grif: I don't need your Charm boosts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, but you need the Charisma to back up the Charm! You can't rely 100% on a charm working without a stat to back it up! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Give me your Charisma. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can't just HAVE my charisma! You're not an incubus! Sheepy: Grif: Teach me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why don't you ask your orb dad? I mean, he managed to have you, so he's gotta have some charisma, yeah? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: So you don't have enough charisma to teach me charisma? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What's your charisma now? Sheepy: Grif: 2. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... How much would you need, theoretically, to charm the pants off a stranger you've never met? Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: 8. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Out of ten? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Come back when you're at 5. I can probably give you a boost from there. Sheepy: Grif: I consume Charisma books but get no buff. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Griflet, buddy. You need to read them. Eating them isn't very sexy of you. Sheepy: Grif: My wife loved me at first sight due to my high Charm, so I must be innately sexy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's called a preference. Sheepy: Grif: No. My Charm is 7. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No wonder even muggles accept you so easily. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: I am like the man with a mysterious, otherwordly feel who immediately catches your eye due to my high charm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But then you start speaking. Sheepy: Grif: But my charisma is low, so once someone interacts with me, I have difficulties knowing what to say and find myself stressed. Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds like a personal problem! Sheepy: Grif: You're easy to talk to because you don't expect high charisma from me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Why would I? You're the guy who I spotted eating a chicken in my yard at 6 am. I liked that chicken. Sheepy: Grif: It tasted good... Arsé-kun: Kay: You ate Tiffany! Raw! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: I had to tell Wart a fox got her, you prick! Arsé-kun: Kay: I woulda gotten my ass WHOOPED if I told him I saw some sorta goblin bastard, and then dragged to church or some crap! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm. Sheepy: Grif: Well, I only ate one of your chickens. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... What is wrong with you? Sheepy: Grif: The only adult human figure in my life as a child was my mom, who abandoned me. So, of course when I learned from my dragom dad that dragons steal and consume livestock, I'd steal and consume livestock. Sheepy: Grif: The only adult human figure in my life as a child was my mom, who abandoned me. So, of course when I learned from my dragom dad that dragons steal and consume livestock, I'd steal and consume livestock. Sheepy: Grif: And eat what else I found. Sheepy: Grif: I stopped because I eventually got free food as a knight. Arsé-kun: Kay: Which you're welcome for, by the way, you ungrateful bastard! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: All knights did, right? Sheepy: Grif: So why do I have to thank you? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... So anyway, are we there yet?? Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Aru: Very close, yeah! Arsé-kun: Kay: How close, from "we can see it" to "it's only close to a giant"? Sheepy: Grif: I see. You dodge to question because you fear my response. Sheepy: Aru: We should see it...Oh, there it is! Sheepy: Grif: *stare* Arsé-kun: Merlin: This place gives me some bad juju. Sheepy: Grif: I will slay all ghosts. Sheepy: Myrrdin:....Yikes, I hate it here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... It's like... ... Excuse me, you did mention Mordred, but how many other spirits are here, exactly? Sheepy: Cain: Too many! Sheepy: Aru: Sorry, I don't know the exact number. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's like a graveyard in here. Sheepy: Aru: Yes, that's accurate. Sheepy: Bedi: But why? Sheepy: Bedi: Why can't they pass on...? Sheepy: Aru: We're here! Arsé-kun: Kay: What are you nerds talking about?? Sheepy: Grif: Ghosts. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, is that it? It's that simple? Arsé-kun: *Kay turns to Arthur to try and be witty at him, but Arthur seems to be asleep right there, still in midair. Advantages to ghost.* Sheepy: Cain: Simple...? It's terrifying...! Sheepy: *In the bg, there's a blond shoving a man in a white suit into mud while cackling...* Sheepy: Aru: Mordred, stop bullying Lucan! We've talked about this! If you're bored and we're not around, do your share of the chores! Sheepy: Mordred: Gosh, you're dull! If I was king, people wouldn't have chores! But APPARENTLY Gawain's a better- Oh, hey, that's the king sword! I want that! Gimme, gimme! It's no fair that my descendents get to be king but I don't! Sheepy: Aru: What are you suppose to say? Sheepy: Mordred: Please, cheese! ...Schmease, whatever! I don't have to say please to you! Gimme the sword!!! Sheepy: Aru: *Stare* Sheepy: Mordred: *whine* ...Please. Sheepy: Aru: No. Sheepy: Mordred: Gosh, you're the WORST great great... etc, grandkid! More like UNGREAT grandkid!!! Heh! Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I'm pretty sure I lost more smarts hearing that than all of my drinking! You're not even funny, shut up! You're More Dreadful than the Cath Palug! Arsé-kun: Kay: You look like you crawled out of a children's book about goblins and you sound like it too! Arsé-kun: *Arthur continues pretending to sleep to avoid having to actually face Mordred for any reason. noooope* Arsé-kun: Kay: You can pull out a dictionary to define the word "goblin" and it'll just have a mirror! Sheepy: Mordred: Oh, shut up! At least I wasn’t gonna sit in the shadow of some trashy king forever! Meanwhile you just accepted your place as some servant to him despite being older. You’re such a wimp! Gosh! Arsé-kun: Kay: I wouldn't trust you with money! I'd rather fuck a dragon than trust you with money! Sheepy: Mordred: Psh! Like you’d trust Gawain any more with it! Sheepy: Mordred: Like, why Gawain of all people?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh what's he gonna do? Buy some more hookers?? At least he's honest! Sheepy: Aru: If Gawain was next in line, why didn’t you just target him instead? Whittle down all of Arthur’s next in lines until it came to you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You! I like you. You have a brain bigger than a squirrel's. Sheepy: Mordred: *thinking math lady* Sheepy: Mordred: ........... Sheepy: Aru: Thank you. I didn’t catch your name. My name is Aru and this is Cain. You are...? Arsé-kun: *Kay pauses to introduce himself, and then goes back to insulting Mordred. yknow the usual* Sheepy: Mordred: Y’mean I could’a just... What the heck?! Mom didn’t tell me that! Gosh, nobody tells me ANYTHING in this house!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Gee, wonder why! It's almost like you're a tattletail pussy snitch! Sheepy: Mordred: Mom told me to kill Arthur to become king...!!! Seriously, why did nobody think to tell me to go for Gawain instead?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Because you'd have been like "HM NO IM STUBBORN HURRRRR". Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, give me a weapon to stab this bitch with. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif pulls out a Christmas themed chainsaw* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Grif, what is that? Sheepy: Grif: It plays Deck the Halls when you rev it. Arsé-kun: Kay: But does it hit ghosts? Sheepy: Grif: Deck the halls with blood and gore-y, fa la la la la, la la la la. Sheepy: Grif: It was used to exorcise the Ghost of Christmas End. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't care, how does it work Sheepy: Grif: Which, as the name implies, slaughters to end Christmas due to being trapped next to a shopping mall and having to listen to Christmas music from October to December every year for over thirty years. Sheepy: Grif: Brrrr, brrr. Sheepy: Grif: And then slice, slice. Sheepy: Grif: Understand? Sheepy: Mordred: Hey, Grif, I’ll give you an apple not to exorcise me...!!! Sheepy: Grif: ..... Sheepy: Grif: ............. Sheepy: Grif: Two. Arsé-kun: Kay: You heard the man! Two or perish! Sheepy: Mordred: I’m not made of money! Merlin, I’m being tormented in my OWN HOME! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it? Sheepy: Mordred: Stop them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And fuckin' die?? Sheepy: Mordred: Sure, whatever! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lady Aru, your ghost is bullying me. Sheepy: Aru: He bullies everyone. Sheepy: Aru: ... Sheepy: Aru: Mordred, you’re grounded. Sheepy: Mordred: The heck?! You can’t ground me! I’m older than you! I should be able to ground you! Arsé-kun: Kay: You're grounded. Sheepy: Mordred: You’re the worst uncle ever! Arsé-kun: Kay: At least I'm not Merlin! Sheepy: Mordred: Merlin’s no uncle! Arsé-kun: Kay: I'm still better than he is. Sheepy: Mordred: No! Arsé-kun: Merlin: get positively DUNKED ON, Kay! eat my dust! Arsé-kun: Kay: ??? ??? ??? ?? Sheepy: Mordred: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Arthur: *IF I MOVE SLOWLY ENOUGH AND DON'T LOOK AT MORDRED, HE WILL NOT SEE ME* Sheepy: Mordred: ...Hey! Sheepy: Mordred: Why’s he here?! You absolute traitor! You brought him here, didn’t you?! Sheepy: Aru: Of all the objects he’d be attached to, which do you think it’d be? Sheepy: Mordred: *blank stare* Sheepy: Mordred: His crown, ‘cuz he cared way more about being a dumb, useless king than a dad! Yup, nailed it! Gosh, I’m a geniu- Sheepy: Aru: Do you see a crown on me? Sheepy: Mordred: ...Eh... Sheepy: Mordred: Whatever! Go away, old man, this is my kingdom! You can’t stay here! Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...... *he slowly turns his head to look at Mordred* .... As if I have much of a choice? I go where the Excalibur goes. Now please stop speaking to me. Sheepy: Mordred: Gosh! It's not like you even talked to me anyway! Man, you stink! Sheepy: Cain: As if Mordred could get any more annoying... Why do we have to live here...? Sheepy: Aru: I'm sorry for his behavior, Arthur. I'll deal with him later. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's.... It's fine, I didn't expect much else.. Sheepy: Mordred: "Deal with me later"??? Sheepy: Aru: We have a bunch of chores that need doing anyway. Sheepy: Mordred: You're the WORST Aru!! Gosh! Any cool descendant of mine would be gushing about how handsome and awesome I am...!! You just order me around and bully me! Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I am piecing everything together. Arsé-kun: Kay: You wanna share with us? Or is it "spoiler"? Sheepy: Grif: So Morfred is the illegitimate son of the King and tried to steal the throne because his existence is a blotch on the King's good name and therefore Sir Gawain, the eldest of the King's nephews, was going to get the throne after the King's death. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Morfred. I mean, yeah basically, but... Sheepy: Grif: But Mordred ended up destroying Camelot instead because he killed the King, died, and presumably all heirs were killed as well. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I'm sorry? Excuse me? *he has stopped and turned all the way around to face Griflet* What did you just say? The first section only. Sheepy: Grif: Morfred wanted to become king. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Not that part. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: Clearly, Camelot fell. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... There was no one left..? Sheepy: Bedi: Every single one of your heirs was killed by Sir Lancelot with the exception of Sir Gaheris, who died previously, as you may know.. Arsé-kun: Arthur: All of them?? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... So why didn't you take it up? Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: I am just your lowly knight. Nothing more. Arsé-kun: Arthur: What did I say about things like that? Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. I spoke too harshly. Sheepy: Bedi: However... Sheepy: Bedi: Every single one of your knights would have been better suited to follow in your stead than myself, perhaps even Mordred included. You may consider it self-deprecation, but my skill set, as limited as it is, is not suited for giving orders. Only following them to my finest ability. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I will permit this. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I understand. If nothing could be done, then that is simply how it was. Sheepy: Bedi: Sir Lancelot and the Queen survived. I stayed at the same monestary with Sir Lancelot for a while.. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Lancelot, huh.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I'd love to get his side of things, but that's unlikely, huh. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, he visits the bar occasionally. Sheepy: Bedi: He's shy due to his appearance, though. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... ? Sheepy: Bedi: He lost most of his muscle mass and looks, well... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Like a trash peasant. Sheepy: Bedi:...The Queen, however, is still very beautiful! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And she fuckin' lifts! She's got Lancelot's armor and it looks GOOD! Sheepy: Grif: I like the Queen. Sometimes she wears green. Green is my favorite color. Like apples. Arsé-kun: Kay: I don't know if anyone else notices, but it's goddamn cold out here! Sheepy: Grif: One time the Queen smiled at me. Nobody ever smiles at me. I like the Queen. She's nice. Sheepy: Bedi: That's nice, Grif... Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I like the King too. He liked the gift I gave him. Nobody ever likes the gifts I give them. Arsé-kun: Kay: *mr no manners* I am going inside your home now! Because it's fucking cold! Goodbye! Sheepy: Aru: Oh, right, it is...! Sheepy: Grif:....?! Sheepy: Grif: Kay... Arsé-kun: Kay: It's fuckin' cold! Nope! Sheepy: Grif: If you leave, I'll be cold. You're warm. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then come inside, moron! Sheepy: Grif: Hah. Fine. I have never waited to be invited into a home anyway. Sheepy: Aru: It's a dorm so I don't need to invite you...But we should go in! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But first! *he finally goes over to the other ghost (with the nice suit) on the ground* Do you need a hand down there, butler? Sheepy: *The ghost lets out a weak groan...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin tries to help, but cannot actually hold the ghost. oof.* Sheepy: *The ghost slowly shifts, finally standing... His whole front of his torso is bloodstained...* Sheepy: ?: *sigh* It's going to take forever to get this out... Thanks anyway- ...Merlin? Sheepy: ?: Bedi? Sheepy: Bedi: *he's gone wide-eyed...* ........ Sheepy: ?: Oh? You two have finally come to visit me? I'm so overjoyed my heart might just burst from the excitement! Sheepy: ?: Come, come, Bedi, give me a hug- oh, wait, I'm a ghost, so I guess you can't. Sheepy: ?: Of all the horror monsters I could be, I think a vampire would be more preferable because at least they can go out on adventures, even if it's just at night. I'm bound to this land... *sigh* With Mordred... Sheepy: ?: I suppose that explains how you look even more youthful than when I died... You really got the better side of the genes... Anyway, I'm trapped here, so I've read everyone's textbooks and homework more often than I can count. Cain makes me do his homework for him sometimes... What am I, a butler? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Last I checked, yes! Yes, you were! Now get that cleaned up, you look like you should be a vampire with your shirt stained like that. Sheepy: ?: Give me a minute. *he disappears briefly before reappearing without any stains* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Impressive! Sheepy: ?: Yes, of course! I spend so much time cleaning, I should be that fast. ...Am I right? He’s a vampire? They’re basically incubi, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Close. But if I was a regular vampire? There'd be a lot more biting around here >:3c Sheepy: ?: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... What? Most modern vampires are known for biting and bloodsucking. Is that news to you? Sheepy: ?: I meant Bedi, not you. You’re just weird. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's not a vampire either. My point would still stand! Sheepy: ?: I watch TV occasionally... ...Uh, then how is he... Nevermind, maybe he’s like Benjamin Button! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wizard nonsense. Keep it at that. Sheepy: ?: Uhuh. Alright. Isn’t that a wizard crime? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Who's gonna tell the Merlins no? That's right, nobody. Sheepy: ?: Huh. Sheepy: ?: Well, you do you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd rather do him instead. >:3ccccc Sheepy: ?: ... Sheepy: ?: He’s got standards... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you sure? Are you really sure? Sheepy: ?: ...Oh, don’t tell me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, I won't! Sheepy: ?: ...Aren’t you a joker! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm doing my best, Lucan, sir! Sheepy: Lucan: No, there’s absolutely no way he’s in a relationship with scum like you...!!! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, I'm better than Myrrdin! Sheepy: Lucan: Eh? Really? Sheepy: Lucan: He’s more trashy than you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He literally got cursed to have a cardiac arrest if he found a woman hot because he scorned a hot woman. How do you think he did? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... He still has them at least once a week. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He almost never goes out. Does that answer you? Sheepy: Lucan: Ouch...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: C'mon, lets go catch up with everybody else so we can tell you what's been going on. Arty'd probably like to see you. Arsé-kun: *Merlin offers Lucan a hand to lead him in (he's being polite), realizes the problem, and stops to think before taking Bedi's hand and offering it instead. Take the Airgetlam.* Sheepy: Lucan: ? That’s not going to work, is it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You never know! Sheepy: Lucan: *he attempts it* Sheepy: Lucan:....Hm? It's working. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sometimes I'm right! All right, off with you lot! Sheepy: Lucan: What, go off where? Sheepy: Bedi: Um...Where are you going, then...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I wasn't going far. I just wanted to call up Meril! Sheepy: Bedi: Really? I see... Well, have fun then. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll try to! Sheepy: Grif: I see. So this is a dorm. Sheepy: Grif: If I were a student, I would live here with a roommate. Kay, you can be my roommate. Arsé-kun: Kay: Fuck, sure, I guess!! Sheepy: Grif: Good. It's decided. Sheepy: Grif: We're roommates now. Sheepy: *From outside, there's a screechy HEWWOOOO!!! sound... Like a peacock!* Sheepy: Grif: Oh, Elyan seems like he's frustrated at his lack of attention. Sheepy: Grif: He can be our third roommate unless you had someone else in mind, Kay. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Can we talk about more important things? Like us all being here, and what this runt with the Excalibur can do. Is that why we're here, Grif? Sheepy: Grif: She pulled the Excalibur. Sheepy: Grif: Do you expect to fight her? Sheepy: Grif: Do you want to fight, child? Sheepy: Aru: You're Sir Griflet, who's notorious for your vicious behavior... No, I'll pass. Arsé-kun: Kay: I mean inside, you moron. I swear, you've just got some apple seeds and rocks rattling around in your skull. Arsé-kun: Kay: Don't correct me. Arsé-kun: Kay: I called you brainless. Sheepy: Grif:....! Arsé-kun: Kay: You can kick my ass outside. Sheepy: Grif: I'll TEAR YOU TO SHREDS! Sheepy: Aru: No fighting. Arsé-kun: Kay: The princess has spoken. Sit your ass down, Grif, sucks to be you. Sheepy: Grif:!!! Sheepy: Grif: You're just too critical. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's new? Sheepy: Grif: No! Arsé-kun: Kay: Then stop complaining! Sheepy: Grif: Fine! Arsé-kun: Fou: *pulling at Kay's pants leg* Fou! Arsé-kun: *This scares Kay greatly, and with a "HELL NO!", more or less leaps into Grif's arms to get away from Fou. At least Fou thinks it's funny* Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Sheepy: Grif: It's Fou. Arsé-kun: Kay: I KNOW that! Get that beast out of here! Sheepy: Grif: Are you hungry, Fou? Sheepy: Grif: You can't eat Kay but I'll feed you later. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Fou fou! Sheepy: Grif: Hm. I see. Sheepy: Grif: Kay is scared of small animals, so I'll give you pets later. Arsé-kun: Kay: I-I am not! He looks small now, but just you wait..! Sheepy: Grif: ...? Sheepy: Grif: So Fou is a kitten? Arsé-kun: Kay: That's the goddamn Cath Palug and this is the stupid shit you ask?? This is, like you say, a bonus boss waiting to happen! Sheepy: Grif: Kay... Sheepy: Grif: I'm perfectly willing to fight defenseless old ladies but I would never beat up a baby. Arsé-kun: Kay: This thing has been around for over a thousand years! Sheepy: Grif: What an old baby... Arsé-kun: *Fou starts chewing on Grif's pants. Hungery* Sheepy: Grif: Hm... I do have food, but... Arsé-kun: *Fou keeps staring at him* Sheepy: Grif: I only have two hands. Sheepy: Grif: My siblings are lucky in some respects... Sheepy: Grif: For example, one of my brothers has eyes on his legs in case he needs to see with his legs rather than his face. Sheepy: Cain: What, kitty, you want cat food? The burnt brown pellets cats like to eat? Man, being a cat must stink... You shove your butt on everything all day only to get rewarded for being stinky with something that can barely be called food. Arsé-kun: Fou: Frrrou! Sheepy: Cain: Here, I'll show you where it is. Cait Sith......Sith Lord, whatever, he probably won't care that you're eating his food, considering how much he eyes mine... Sheepy: Grif: You feed the King of the Cats cat food... Sheepy: Cain: Here, follow me, kitty. Sheepy: *Cain leads Fou to the cat food.* Arsé-kun: Fou: *sniff, sniff* Sheepy: *it's cat food!* Arsé-kun: *A slow bite. cronch. cronch cronch* Sheepy: Cain: Do you like it?....Haha, it's not like you can understand a word of what I'm saying anyway. Arsé-kun: Fou: Frou fou gao! Sheepy: Cain: Yeah, is that so? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou fou! Foummnmn *chew chew cronch cronch nom* Sheepy: Cain: Oh, good, you do! ...I gotta wonder why. Arsé-kun: Kay: ---I mean it. Shut up for a minute, Grif. What are we doing in the order of business? Sheepy: Aru: I don’t know. I don’t know why I have this sword, nor its significance, considering we elect officials now... Sheepy: Grif: Maybe Merlin will decide that he’s bored and want to teach you. Arsé-kun: Kay: God have mercy on our souls if that's the outcome. Sheepy: Grif: Well, using a sword isn’t common in present day. Arsé-kun: Kay: But it's MERLIN. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin can teach well, probably. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did you know stingrays have skeletons? I think that's neat. Sheepy: Aru: Really? Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not spinless like Lancelot? Incredible. Sheepy: Aru: Sir Lancelot is spineless? Sheepy: Grif: Incredible... What a talented man... he fights so skillfully while missing bones...!!! Sheepy: Grif: I must strive harder to be like him... Arsé-kun: Kay: Not literally, Grif. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... I don’t understand. Sheepy: Aru: Merlin, what do you think the right course of action is from here? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmmm... Sheepy: Aru: I don't have any experience with a sword past playfighting with Cain with wooden swords... and since we were little, we had no clue what we were doing. Sheepy: Aru: But we don't know if I need to fight. Sheepy: Aru: I'd rather not. I don't like violence. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... I've got nothing but the vision of Grif being hit with a chair. Sheepy: Grif: Chair? Sheepy: Grif: I must ready myself... Sheepy: Aru: That doesn't help, unfortunately... Sheepy: Grif: Get ready for combat, Awoo. Sheepy: Aru: It, it's Aru... Sheepy: Aru: And you can't fight in here...! Sheepy: Grif: Worry not. I am capable of fighting in even the smallest of areas. Sheepy: Grif: Walls can be a weapon if used properly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's not happening NOW, Griflet, don't worry so much about it. Sheepy: Grif: I see... Sheepy: Grif: Later, then. Sheepy: Aru: Maybe, umm... Maybe Arthur is supposed to have it? But he's a ghost... Arsé-kun: Kay: This makes no sense at all. Sheepy: Aru: I'm not sure either... Sheepy: Aru: Maybe it's just broken. Sheepy: Aru: The evil slug in the news died so that shouldn't be a concern. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can it break..? Sheepy: Aru: Can it? Sheepy: Grif: Its durability is N/A. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Good to know, thank you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Either way, you've got both it and our King, so at least some of us will have to prioritize making sure you don't get into anything messy. Sheepy: Aru: Yes, that makes sense. Sheepy: Aru: Whom? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uhhhhh. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... The only free ones are, uh, *he gestures towards Griflet* Sheepy: Aru: Oh, um... Sheepy: Aru: Sir Kay is busy, Sir Bedivere is busy...Really, everyone is busy but...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, no, *he gestures to Kay* but splitting at a time like this is... Questionable? Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I see... Arsé-kun: Merlin: But the King's here, so it shouldn't be too awful? Sheepy: Aru: I hope so... Sheepy: Grif: But.... Sheepy: Grif: I may have free time, but my time isn't free. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Didn't expect you to stop questing. But our bar can't hold extra guests for all that long, you get it? Sheepy: Grif: But where will Kay go? Sheepy: Grif: He's an extra guest, isn't he? Arsé-kun: Merlin: With.... You? Sheepy: Grif: I have no home either... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Arsé-kun: *A notification pops up for Grif.* Sheepy: *Grif looks at it* Arsé-kun: Yog: "This will be your primary base of operations. Would you like to take a tour? y/n" Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: However. Sheepy: Grif: I am no student... Sheepy: Grif: How will I be able to stay here? Arsé-kun: Yog: *peering out of his bag via Purson orb* The spirits are not students either. Exceptions can be made. Sheepy: Grif:......But what about payment? Arsé-kun: Yog: You will get fed and somewhere to sleep. Sheepy: Grif: I see. How much is it? Sheepy: Grif:....Ah, no, I understand... Sheepy: Grif: I have left the tutorial area. Sheepy: Grif: No longer do I get free healing at my base. Arsé-kun: Yog: The Bar will continue healing, but you may need to pay in the future. You will heal at an enhanced rate in the Dorms, but not to the same level. Sheepy: Grif: Pay.... Sheepy: Grif: *he looks to Merlin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: We'll take money or emotional stories in exchange for things, but the healing will remain free. Sheepy: Grif:.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anything interesting or you were invested in. Quests? Sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Watching Elyan do dumb bird things? Absolutely! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Gushing about your wife for three hours? Yes please. Sheepy: Grif: Interesting...Invested... Sheepy: Grif: Wife... Sheepy: Grif: I love my wife. She's so pretty and sweet...She sent her men to capture me and then her men tried to kill me in my sleep.... Sheepy: Grif: ...... Sheepy: Grif:............. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *FREE FOOD!* Sheepy: Grif: I miss my wife... Sheepy: Grif: My wife would hate me if she found out that I didn't die and I simply left... but I can't go back... I miss her... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We'll figure something out, don't worry! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm. Sheepy: Grif: Fine. Arsé-kun: Medraut: --Aru, look at this tiny cat!! It's so small! *he's holding Fou along with his own cat, Sith Lord. Sith Lord is a fucking unit and not the cat in question* Sheepy: Aru: That’s Fou! He came with the guests. Sheepy: Aru: There’s a peacock outside, too. Arsé-kun: Medraut: Better not let Sith Lord near it, then.. Sheepy: Aru: I don’t think it’s too much of a concern. Sheepy: Aru; It turns out that peacocks are really big... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Useless fact! Did you know peacocks hate snakes and will fight them on sight? Arsé-kun: Kay: So if we ever see Aggy again, don't let Elyan see him, got it. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan might dislike Dad... Sheepy: Grif: He's like a snake with legs and wings. Arsé-kun: Kay: People are snakes except without any of that. Sheepy: Grif: No. Sheepy: Grif: He's probably hibernating right now. Sheepy: Grif: He sleeps in a cave. Sheepy: Grif:...Hm,your cat. Arsé-kun: Sith: miow. Sheepy: Grif: It's Cait Sith. Sheepy: Grif: It's cute and cuddly looking, too... Arsé-kun: Sith: meow. Sheepy: Grif: You're exactly as Sir Percival described you... Arsé-kun: Sith: meoh naow Sheepy: *Elyan's watching very closely from behind Grif.* Sheepy: Grif: Can I pet you? Arsé-kun: Sith: *he jumps down from Medr's arms and Loudly thuds on the floor before fattly wobbling to Grif. Pet him, peasant* Sheepy: *Grif starts petting Sith!* Arsé-kun: Sith: woah Arsé-kun: Sith: Moaaah. Sheepy: Grif: You're so cute... Yes, I can see why you're King of the Cats... Arsé-kun: *Distant sound of Arthur trying not to laugh at the King Cat's mighty decrees. The fact that anyone can hear him means he has once again failed this quest.* Sheepy: Grif: Just don't eat Elyan, okay? He isn't made of meat. It won't help you unless you're thirsty. Arsé-kun: *Cait Sith Lord looks at Elyan with intent* Sheepy: Elyan: !!! Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: *Grif continues petting Sith* Arsé-kun: *Sith honks back at Elyan. HJÖNK* Sheepy: Grif: You're lucky Sir Percival isn't here, but don't worry, I won't rat you out. You're too cute. *pet pet* Sheepy: Elyan:!! Arsé-kun: Kay: Get that bitch running laps! That cat's fatter than Gawain's potato supply! Arsé-kun: Sith: *annoyed* MOW Sheepy: Grif: You're so mean to him. Isn't he cute? Arsé-kun: *arthur laughing again in another room. every fucking time this cat makes a noise. every fuckin* Arsé-kun: Kay: He's huge. He could step on me and immediately break my ability to have kids. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, which means you have more to pet. Sheepy: Elyan: *he's taken refuge hiding behind Kay* Sheepy: Grif: And not being able to have kids... That's just a risk you have to take. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You mean h- Arsé-kun: Kay: Shut UP, Dick Wizard! Arsé-kun: Sith: prraowww. *looks towards a wall while arthur un-dies of laughter* Arrrreow! Yeow! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I need better Animal Speech levels.. Arsé-kun: Sith: Arreowrr! Sheepy: Grif: Is something bothering you? Or do you want something? Or are you just feeling chatty? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou fou, fou-fou fou, fou. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Do you want pets too, Fou? I can pet both of you. Arsé-kun: Fou: fou fool. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm...Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: I need to learn better Animal Speech... Arsé-kun: Sith: Arr. Thowr. Meaow. Sheepy: Grif: I want to be able to understand Cait Sith and Fou... For example, what if they want to play but I can't understand what toy? Or a treat but I can't understand what food? Or a walk but I can't understand what route? I need better understanding... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Fou called you a fool the last time if that helps. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: That's fine. He's smart. Arsé-kun: *Sith "menacingly" flaps his tiny vestigial faerie wings at Arthur when he finally enters after recovering from a laughing fit. Sith can't arch his back, he's too fat.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah...! *he's figuratively melting* His little wings... He's so cute...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he has detected a POWER SPOT-- i mean, a food supply. He decides to stand next to Grif and observe Sith. Real close. just fuckin up in his grill.* Sheepy: Grif: You can't even fly with them...! I believe in you, one day you'll be able to! Arsé-kun: Arthur: He's gotten fatter. I can't believe this. Sheepy: Grif: They must feed him very well here! Arsé-kun: Medraut: He figured out how to operate the auto-feeder. None of us are safe. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... I see. What treats does he like? Arsé-kun: Medr: All of them. Sheepy: Grif: I see. I'll keep that in mind. Sheepy: Grif: *he pets Cait Sith* You figured out how to operate machinery? So talented... Sheepy: Grif: When I learn better Animal Speech, I'll learn your likes and dislikes. I can't throw my mats around willy nilly to learn what treats you like and dislike... If you like them, we get more bond points. It's important to pay attention to such things. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Cait Sith doesn't care about that. He cares about eating your food. Sheepy: Grif: My food...Hm, if he asked for it, I suppose I couldn't say no... Sheepy: Grif: Unless it's apple related... Arsé-kun: Sith: *staring* Sheepy: Grif: He is the King of the Cats, after all. Sheepy: Grif:....? Do you want food? Arsé-kun: Sith: Feed. Sheepy: *Grif pulls out a steak dinner and puts it in front of Sith* Arsé-kun: Sith: Arsé-kun: Sith: Arsé-kun: Sith: Sir Knight, I love you. Sheepy: Grif: Ah...! You do? Really? Arsé-kun: *Grif's bond with Cait Sith jumps from 0 to 5. Immediately. All bonuses received.* Sheepy: Grif:!!! Sheepy: Grif: Ah...The King of the Cats likes me... Sheepy: Grif: Kay, isn't he really cute? Arsé-kun: Kay: He's as cute as a doorstopper. Sheepy: Grif: Doorstopper? Sheepy: Grif: I don't think he'd like being used to stop doors... Arsé-kun: Sith: Doorstoppers are... Food. Sheepy: Grif: ? Are they? I'm not sure. Arsé-kun: Medr: No, that's a jawbreaker! Doorstoppers are wood! Sheepy: Grif: Have you eaten a dooestopper before? Arsé-kun: Sith: Meow. Sheepy: Grif: Eating wood doesn't seem appetizing. Sheepy: Grif: What toys do you like? Arsé-kun: Sith: Feathr Sheepy: Grif: Like Elyan's... Sheepy: Grif: I have a few stray ones. Sheepy: Grif: *he pulls out one of Elyan's stray feathers from his inventory* Arsé-kun: *Sith grabs for it immediately. gib* Sheepy: *Grif shifts it* Arsé-kun: Sith: mao! *swat* Sheepy: Grif: *he shifts it again* Arsé-kun: *Sith swats his hand* Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: No, that's not a feather. Sheepy: Grif: That's my hand. Sheepy: Grif: Ah, I suppose there's one issue in us staying here. Sheepy: Grif: Cait Sith is a cat. Elyan is a bird. They'll have to learn to co exist. Arsé-kun: Kay: If I can deal with you, they can do it fine. Sheepy: Grif: But we aren't naturally predator and prey. Arsé-kun: Kay: You sure?? Sure seemed like it when you hunted me down! Sheepy: Grif: Ah, but I was just going to slaughter you. Arsé-kun: Kay: THAT DOES NOT HELP Sheepy: Elyan: *staaaaare* Sheepy: Grif: Elyan can shapeshift. Maybe he should choose a different form for the time being. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And maybe we shouldn't teach swords in here. We don't need to break things we can't afford to fix.. Arsé-kun: *Sith occasionally meows at Elyan* Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* .......... *generic cat food commercial meow* Sheepy: *Elyan's begun to melt into a puddle. ah* Sheepy: *...a fluffy "cat" comes from said puddle.* Arsé-kun: Sith: *looking at him* No. No. None of this is right. Stop. Sheepy: Elyan: *meowww-- honk* Sheepy: Grif: Hm. I see. You two look alike. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, yes. Two ears. Four- six legs. Tail. Ah, back to four. Sheepy: *Elyan bobs over to Sith, much like a peacock, and blankly stares back with his pupilless eyes...* Sheepy: Elyan:............. Arsé-kun: Sith: [You're still a bird. You're a bird with some cat ideas. It's so bad.] Sheepy: Elyan: [I'm a cat like you now, so you can't eat me nor tell me what to do.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [I am king of the cats. You fool.] Sheepy: Elyan: ....? Sheepy: Elyan: [It was literal...cats have kings...] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Now sit down, you watery pheasant, and make yourself correct.] Sheepy: Elyan: *he hesitantly sits... as a bird would* [Correct? What's wrong?] Sheepy: Elyan: [I copied Fou and you. Everything should be correct.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Neither of us have that many eyes.] Sheepy: Elyan: .... Arsé-kun: *This does not stop Medraut from coming to pet can number three. fucks 0. cat* Sheepy: Elyan: *meow- honk* Sheepy: Elyan: ? [So I'm enough like a cat to fit in.] Sheepy: Elyan: [These aren't real eyes, they're markings.] Sheepy: Elyan: [What are the main traits of a cat...Eh...] Sheepy: Elyan:....[Socks.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Cait Sith Lord! Get it right!!] Arsé-kun: Kay: Hey Grif, you ever heard that bird make so much noise before? I think they get along fine. Sheepy: Grif: They're bonding. Arsé-kun: Sith: --- [And I will turn you into litter, so get it right!] Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, I guess. Sheepy: Elyan: [Litter? What's that?] Sheepy: Elyan: [Do you eat that?] Sheepy: Elyan: [I'm no food.] Arsé-kun: Fou: [They take shits in it.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Like a toilet? I'm not toilet water.] Arsé-kun: Fou: [That can be changed.] Sheepy: Elyan: *blank stare* Arsé-kun: Fou: *stares back* [I have never needed to take a poo in my life. I am beyond such filth. But I can still arrange it.] Sheepy: Elyan: [So cats don't poop.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Oh, we poop. Cath Palug isn't a normal cat.] Sheepy: Elyan: [You're a normal cat? Really... I've never seen a cat like you before.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Just because I'm]... ... [Very large and in charge, does not mean I am not normal mostly otherwise!] Sheepy: Elyan: [Ah, so being so round is normal for cats. You're the roundest cat I've ever seen, so I assumed it was unique to you...] Arsé-kun: Fou: [Are you stupid or dumb? Cats can be however cats want. Have you never seen a cat? Are you blind or really fucking stupid?] Sheepy: Elyan: [My only life outside of the water is with Sir Griflet.] Arsé-kun: Fou: [Has he never seen a fucking cat??] Sheepy: Elyan: [They usually have six legs, giant teeth and claws, wings, or other features I don't see on you nor Socks.] Arsé-kun: Sith: .... Arsé-kun: Fou: ........ [An Earth cat, you tremendous cock.] Arsé-kun: Merlin: This just in, Fou called Elyan a tremendous cock. I wish I was kidding. I also wish I had context. Sheepy: Elyan: [I have seen a few... But Socks is one of the few I've seen.] Sheepy: Grif: But he's a cat now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It was an insult. Sheepy: Grif: Ah...Poor Elyan. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... *thonkang* Sheepy: Elyan: [I chose to ignore most of his features and instead implement ones I've seen in similar animals to go for an aquatic oriented build.] Sheepy: Elyan: *he lifts up a paw* [Water cat. You're the king of the cats so you should know of it, Socks.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [... Otter. The word you want is otter, and they are not cats.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Otter... They're closely related. Right?] Arsé-kun: Sith: [No.] Sheepy: Elyan: [But they're fuzzy and have four legs. Anything like that is related to a cat.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [... Are you suggesting rats are related?] Sheepy: Elyan: [Small cats...] Arsé-kun: Fou: [You are not smart. Stop speaking. I want to injure my hearing.] Sheepy: Elyan: [You rule over many animals. Cats. Rats. Otters. Is it hard?] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Just cats. And no.] Sheepy: Elyan: [How isn't it hard? There's so many cats in the world.] Sheepy: Elyan: [I saw one once. It was big. It grabbed my fish. I wanted to pet it. But it was frightened by me.] Arsé-kun: Sith: .... Arsé-kun: Sith: Must I live with this bird? Must we truly? Sheepy: Grif: Now he's a cat. Sheepy: Elyan: [Do you dislike me? You seem nice, so I like you, Socks. I haven't talked to a cat before.] Sheepy: Elyan: [I did my best to look like a cat. And this human thinks I'm a cat so it should be close. Now as you go about your daily life, I can imitate many of the things you do outside of your royal duties and learn from you.] Sheepy: Elyan: [You can also tell me about how cats are supposed to act so I can try to imitate it.] Arsé-kun: Sith: .... [Fine. I will recommend you ask Medraut to show you "regular" cats for a better idea.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Medraut knows how cats act better than you do? You should know more about cats as their king.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [No, it is simply easier.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Both. Videos will show me how they act but not why. You can tell me why.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [It will be considered.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Cats must have very busy schedules if it's just a consideration...] Sheepy: Elyan: [I saw a cat once that ate grass. It had big teeth and it was huge. It swam a lot.] Sheepy: Elyan: [It had a large kill count.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [Not every animal is a cat] Sheepy: Elyan: [Define a cat.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Your features are: Two ears, fur, four legs, a tail, not a dog.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Not a horse. Not a cow.] Sheepy: Elyan: [You are the model cat, so anything like you is a cat.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Some cats aren't like you, too. So anything that isn't one of the other three groups of furred animals is a cat.] Arsé-kun: Fou: [This is a fucking sitcom. Socks, the snarky cat that just wants to do pet things, and Elyan, the] *makes a noise of Some Kind* [who suddenly appears and tries to befriend him despite being a moron that drags him around. Cats, coming this summer, oh my fucking.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Ah, that's the situation? So like Sir Kay with Sir Griflet. We'll become great friends then, Socks. I can even bring you on adventures.] Sheepy: Elyan: [I saw a horse on the last one.] Arsé-kun: Sith: [I regret my decision to enter this room.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Why?] Arsé-kun: Sith: [I'm a king. Not an adventurer.] Sheepy: Elyan: [King Arthur was a great king and he did both. The more you see of the world, the better you'll be able to rule.] Arsé-kun: *Sith has no comeback* Sheepy: Elyan: [So, will you come with me on my next adventure?] Arsé-kun: Sith: [I will think about it.] Sheepy: Elyan: [Good.] Arsé-kun: Fou: *he looks up to Myrrdin* Fou! Fou fou fou foufou fou? Fou hungfou Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, you want to go home, Fou? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right, let's go home then. Well, you kids have fun. Don't bully everyone too much, Sith. Arsé-kun: Sith: meow. Sheepy: Elyan: *meow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, that's probably a good idea. Meril might get annoyed if we leave him alone on duty. Sheepy: *Myrrdin gets going!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: What a jerk! Bedi, we gotta go catch up with Myrrdin! We can come back tomorrow. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, good idea. We should. Sheepy: *Bedi heads out with Merlin* Sheepy: Meril: Oh, you're back. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're back!!! Sheepy: Meril: I was mostly bored without you here so I slept almost the whole time. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's too bad you can't come out with us tomorrow!! Sheepy: Meril: You're taunting me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, but also no. But you remember my call, yeah? Sheepy: Meril: The King is back. Arsé-kun: Merlin: In a way. We're not quite up to the rest yet. Sheepy: Meril: Rest? Sheepy: Meril: Oh, that he has no body. Right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yep. I know I saw him have it, so why doesn't he now..? Sheepy: Meril: And the girl with the sword. Sheepy: Meril: Maybe you need to dig it up still? Sheepy: Meril:...That's a joke. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Sheepy: Meril: What? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That better not be it. Digging it out of a lake? In public? Covering something like that up would be hell. Sheepy: Meril: True. Sheepy: Meril: Who would do it without embarrassment? Sheepy: Meril: That way, it'd look filmed. Sheepy: Meril: Set it up like you're filming a movie and no one would care. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's underwater. Sheepy: Meril: Ummm... Sheepy: Meril: Good luck! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks a million. Sheepy: Meril: I don't know. Sheepy: Meril: Drain the lake? Sheepy: Meril: Illusion magic? Sheepy: Meril: You’ve got two wizards and a knight. Anything’s possible. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't want to go near the lake. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You don't wanna go near any lake, but yeah that's fair. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't want to even go outside. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Neet Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, I sure am neat! Sheepy: Meril: A NEET is someone with no role in the outside world. Sheepy: Meril: They rarely ever enter it... Sheepy: Meril: And yet, a NEET chooses that lifestyle. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, I'm a people person. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I just like working alone in my room so I'm not interfered with. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You complain then too! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey...! It's boring being alone! Sheepy: Myrrdin: What else can I do? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You at least get someone to talk to when you work. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can just ask! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sure... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I want someone to talk to but I don't want to be distracted. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Man... I thought getting a hot girlfriend would totally fix all my problems, but instead it turns out that I had to actually go out with her on dates...I thought I just had to agree to them and then she'd decide to stop here... Arsé-kun: Merlin: And that's why we're in this situation! !! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Thanks and good night! Th-th-that's all, folks! Sheepy: Myrrdin: As if you know any better about girls. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Or guys. Or anyone. Sheepy: Myrrdin: None of us are any good at dating! Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... You might be right, but I'm still doing better than you! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ouch! Sheepy: Myrrdin: That hurts! Arsé-kun: *Merlin T-poses to inflict dominance* Sheepy: *Myrrdin t-poses back* Arsé-kun: Fou: [what.] Sheepy: Meril: What are you doing? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Proving my dominance Sheepy: Meril: ...?? Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou fou fuu? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know either, Fou... Sheepy: Myrrdin: *still t-posing* Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... *wisely decides to not comment on this. Not His Business.* Sheepy: Meril: What did you want to drink? Arsé-kun: *Arséne tells him, turning away from the T-posing wizards. boys will be boys* Sheepy: *Meril starts preparing it* Sheepy: Meril: So, anything going on with you? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Not too much, thankfully. But Sir Griflet came by and asked to keep an eye on missing corpses, so now I'm... A bit worried? Arsé-kun: Arséne: You know, somehow? That doesn't help. Sheepy: Meril: Well, our King is a ghost now, but he needs a body and due to where it is, his shouldn't have decayed. Arsé-kun: Arséne: .... Interesting. May I ask where? Sheepy: Meril: The lake near Glastonbury Tor. I suppose it was a hill at one point... Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... It was, wasn't it? Sheepy: Meril: Sir Bedivere buried the King there. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Where? *he leans forward a bit* I may be able to lend a small amount of assistance. Sheepy: Meril: The body is now at the bottom of the lake, which Merlin could deal with if he had a way of distracting everyone's attention away from the lake. Arsé-kun: Arséne: He isn't the distraction? *he's joking* Sheepy: Meril: He could serve as one if we had someone else who could remove the body. Arsé-kun: Arséne: But it being in the lake is the issue... Sheepy: Meril: Yes. Sheepy: Meril: Myrrdin has the fear of lakes so he tends to avoid them. Sheepy: Meril: Airgetlam, meanwhile, weighs too much fir Sir Bedivere to swim well... Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he smirks slightly* I'll scope it out during the daytime. I may be able to do a bit more than I initially thought. Sheepy: Meril: Really? You will? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I will. Sheepy: Meril: Great! Sheepy: *Meril gives Arsene his drink* Arsé-kun: Arséne: Hm, hm. What kind of story are you in the mood for? Sheepy: Meril: Anything's fine. Sheepy: *The door opens. Grif comes in* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oy, what are you back for? Sheepy: Grif: You. Come here. You're my wingman now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks delighted* Oh? Oh?? Who's the lucky stud or dame?? Sheepy: Grif: Kay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: :O Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, how come I don't get to be a wingman? Sheepy: Grif: He laughs in my face every time. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Because you're a stinky herb wizard and because I'm cuter than you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hay is for horses!! Sheepy: Grif: Horses.. Sheepy: Grif:....... Sheepy: Grif: I like horses... Arsé-kun: Arséne: *he sighs and looks over to Griflet* You'll want his full attention before you do anything. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: How do I do that? Arsé-kun: Arséne: What does he like? Sheepy: Grif: Booze. Arsé-kun: Arséne: There's your answer. Bring him some from here, tell him he can have it if he listens to you. Sheepy: Grif: A bribe... Sheepy: Grif: I see...So you do bribe people to like you after all... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Not for liking. For the attention you need to tell them. Sheepy: Grif: Uhhh... Okay. Arsé-kun: Merlin: If he's listening, you can say words and he'll hear them! He's not deaf! Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I understand. Sheepy: Grif: So bribe him for his attention and then talk to him. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Then you tell him as simply as possible. If he doesn't get that, good luck. Sheepy: Grif: Simply... Sheepy: Grif: But words are not my strong suit... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, then, like this. Hey, Bedi! Sheepy: Bedi: *He looks up from cleaning* Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Love you! <3 *hand heart* :) Sheepy: Bedi: Oh...! Love you too! Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: *Grif hesitantly copies the hand heart* Sheepy: Grif: Secret magical symbol... Arsé-kun: *Merlin has distracted himself and goes over to Bedi. <3* Sheepy: Grif: Can I handle its power...? Arsé-kun: Arséne: Most likely. It's not like it'll shoot lasers or summon something wild. Sheepy: Grif: Then what does it do? Arsé-kun: Arséne: It's just a modern sign of affection. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: What do I need to do for the [KEY ITEM]? Sheepy: Meril: I don't know what he likes... Sheepy: Grif: Booze. Sheepy: Meril:........ Sheepy: Meril: Um... Sheepy: Meril: There are many kinds. Sheepy: Grif: Whatever type he likes. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... Not very helpful, is he? Sheepy: Meril: He never really is... Sheepy: Grif: I have little knowledge on such things. Sheepy: Grif: I only have alcohol at parties. Sheepy: Grif: He drinks a lot, so something that someone with lots of experience would like. Arsé-kun: Arséne: So he'd like to be absolutely obliterated? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Get him one of whatever the prosecutor had. *he gestures back to Barok, who is #dead in his booth. Arséne isn't jealous.* Sheepy: Meril: *he grabs a bottle and gives it to Grif* Sheepy: Grif: I see. This requires payment, I assume. Sheepy: *Grif pockets it before pulling out a shiny necklace* Sheepy: Grif: The Costly Necklace of Riches. It is useless in every way except for selling. I find them occasionally. Sheepy: Meril: Um...This isn't... Sheepy: Meril:...thanks. *he hesitantly accepts it, clearly not happy with it* Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arséne: (◕ヮ◕) *HE IS LOOKING AT IT* Sheepy: Meril:...? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I will unhesitatingly give you a second story for that. Sheepy: Meril:...! Oh! Really? That sounds great! Arsé-kun: *Grif's point has been proven. It is good for selling* Sheepy: Grif: Now then. I will attempt this. Sheepy: Grif: I will return if it does not work out. Sheepy: *Grif leaves* Sheepy: *Grif returns home...* Sheepy: Grif: --Kay! Arsé-kun: Kay: What? Sheepy: Grif: I got you, uhhhh... Sheepy: *Grif pulls out the bottle* Sheepy: Grif:...Whatever this is. Sheepy: Grif: yeah Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh-ho! Finally, something good! *he reaches for it* Sheepy: Grif: *he pulls it away* No, no, I'll give it to you if you, uh- if you listen to me. *he's awkwardly shifting* ...Uhh, okay? Sheepy: Grif: That's how it goes...I think. Arsé-kun: Kay: Wh..? *he leans back in his seat, not sure what to make of this* Yeah, sure. I'm all ears? Sheepy: Grif: Uhhh. Uhhhh... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Is everything okay? *He's starting to get concerned* Sheepy: Grif:...*he's beginning to get flustered* Uh... How do I say it... Sheepy: Grif: *he puts down the bottle and mimics Merlin's hand heart before... putting on a bloodthirsty grin. grif you're already messing it up* I- I- I love- Arsé-kun: *Kay is starting to also get flustered now. What is happening right now?* Arsé-kun: Kay: Are you good? Were you cursed? Did you get a bad status or whatever you call it? Sheepy: Grif: Charm! By you!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: !!!!! Sheepy: Grif: Uh, uh.... Sheepy: Grif: Ahahahaha! Very funny!!! Very much a joke!! Definitely!! Yes!! W-wait, no, no... No, I did this all so you wouldn't laugh in my face again... now I'm gonna ruin it... Sheepy: Grif:....Nevermind!! *he grabs the bottle and shoves it into Kay's hands* H-here, you listened, okay, just forget you heard anything! Ineversaidathing!! *he turns and flees!* Arsé-kun: Kay: H-hey! *he jumps up and reaches out towards Grif with his free hand* Get back here!! Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Oh, for fuck's sake! *he puts the bottle down and gives chase* Sheepy: *Grif, in his panicked state, heads towards the bar... and trips before he can get there* Sheepy: Grif: !!! Arsé-kun: Kay: You didn't even let me respond to you, you oaf. Sheepy: Grif: Okay, go ahead and laugh like you've always done before!! Arsé-kun: Kay: What's that supposed to mean? Why would... *he trails with a look of horror off as he realizes what Grif means* No, no, wait, hold on! That's not fair! Sheepy: Grif: You always have before! Sheepy: Grif: So you will this time... I shouldn't have said anything... Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't know that's what that was... Sheepy: Grif:...Uh, but it was really clear. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I'm good at math, not this stuff..! Sheepy: Grif: 'm no better... Sheepy: Grif: Just forget I said anything. Arsé-kun: Kay: Can I puh-leaze say what I wanted to before I lose it? Sheepy: Grif: What? Arsé-kun: Kay: I, um, *it's his turn to be uncomfortable, but for a different reason* Ya, uh, How'd it go.. *the reason of "speaking a language you usually don't"* Arsé-kun: *Kay proceeds to struggle over the next word, "lw’nafh", for a bit. That's a hell of a word to pronounce* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... ot ult... *visible struggling* .... Shit, I should have written down what Elyan said, dammit. Sheepy: Grif:....? Sheepy: Grif: Uh, so do I. But that's because I'm myself in my dreams, so of course I would. Sheepy: Grif:...... Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Ha. Sheepy: Grif:.............! Sheepy: Grif: Gh...! No!!! No!!!!! Sheepy: Grif: I messed up... I didn't mean that...! Arsé-kun: Kay: Give it another shot. Sheepy: Grif: GOOD! You better! Sheepy: Grif: No!!! Arsé-kun: Kay: ..... Okay, one more try before I go brain myself with that bottle. Sheepy: Grif: How do I... Arsé-kun: Kay: Griiiif! Sheepy: Grif: Kay?! Arsé-kun: Kay: I got you this! *he hands Griflet a rock. it's shiny.* Take care of it! Sheepy: Grif: E-eh?! For me?! Sheepy: Grif: I can have this? Arsé-kun: Kay: Just for you. You can hold this, too. *he takes his eyepatch off and gives it over as well* Sheepy: Grif:...! Sheepy: Grif: But, but...you need this...right? Arsé-kun: Kay: Not at all. Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 20 Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: *and finally, someone in this goddamn hell of a mess manages to smile genuinely. it's Kay! :)!* Sheepy: Grif: !!! Arsé-kun: Kay: :D ? Sheepy: *Grif tries to smile back, but nerves finally get the better of him and he... breaks down crying. That helps* Arsé-kun: Kay: No, no, don't do that!! C'mon, Grif! Sheepy: Grif: I- I- Uh...! *sob* I messed it up! Arsé-kun: Kay: Like I didn't? Come on, threaten me for screwing up or something..! Sheepy: Grif: But it's all you're going to th-think of when you see me now...! *sob* Sheepy: Grif: I just messed up every step of the way.... *he continues crying... help him* Arsé-kun: Kay: ... ... ....... ....... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I'm sorry. Sheepy: Grif:....? Wh-what? Arsé-kun: Kay: You did fine. I just never understood... It's my fault. Sheepy: Grif: No! Sheepy: Grif: I'm just bad at this...! Arsé-kun: Kay: We're bad at this! We're a disaster! Sheepy: Grif: Uh...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Together, we make one hell of a mess! Ain't that somethin'! *he bitterly laughs, but it's not funny* Sheepy: Grif: Uh...But... Sheepy: Grif: I asked Merlin for help... Sheepy: Grif:...! I shouldn't've said that... Arsé-kun: Kay: I asked the goose. Shit happens. Sheepy: Grif: Really...? Sheepy: Grif:......... Sheepy: Grif:.....Ahaha....Ahahahahaha! *he... looks surprisingly cheerful! Grif, actually laughing? It's more likely than you'd think.* I guess we both needed help with things like this, huh...! I thought it was just me... Arsé-kun: Kay: I thought it was just me... *he's staring at Grif in awe. Who knew this disaster knight could be so... so... cute???* Sheepy: Grif:...Uh, you've said things to me, too? Sheepy: Grif: Did I not notice...? Arsé-kun: Kay: I tried to! But I guess I wasn't clear enough... Or it got buried under me being an asshole. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...I don't understand humans very well... So I probably just assumed the latter... Arsé-kun: Kay: ... We're a mess. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Arsé-kun: *distant wizards, one knight and a fou popping bottles in celebration* Sheepy: Grif: I didn't even plan what I'd do if you reciprocated the feelings... Sheepy: Grif:.No, I just didn't plan ahead at all. Arsé-kun: Kay: I never planned on saying it outright at all... I'm with you on this one. Sheepy: Grif: ....Uh, uh. I don't really know what happens from here. Arsé-kun: Kay: Me neither! What's your... ... ... Hey, your dad's okay with this, right? Sheepy: Grif: Uh, I haven't asked. Sheepy: Grif: Was I supposed to? Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Ummmm. Sheepy: Grif: And my other dad is hibernating right now. Sheepy: Grif: I'll ask him. Sheepy: *Grif opens the menu* Arsé-kun: *The menu immediately freezes upon opening and stops working. Menu Unresponsive. Menu has crashed* Sheepy: Grif:.....! No, no, no! H-he- did he ditch me?! *sob* I don't get it...! Arsé-kun: *Kay glares at the menu like it caused this, and slams a fist down on it. To his surprise, this works and several new dialogue boxes pop up!* Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Kay: I didn't know I could hit it... Sheepy: Grif: You can...hit it? Arsé-kun: Kay: I guess??? Sheepy: Grif: So many dialogue boxes... Arsé-kun: *The first box has confetti in it! It says "This scenario has been reviewed and approved by the board of Dad!" in two languages. English, and R'lyehian* Sheepy: Grif:?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he did allow it! Grif, we're okay!! Sheepy: Grif:!!! Arsé-kun: *Kay tentatively presses the "Okay" button. It works!!!* Arsé-kun: *The next box becomes the active dialog. This one says " Okay, you're being slow on purpose, aren't you? :P". It closes on it's own. The next one is just "????"* Arsé-kun: Yog: *previous message #4* These are going through, yes? I'm not merely speaking into a void? Arsé-kun: Yog: *previous #5* Helloooooo? Hewwo? Is Purson working? Arsé-kun: Yog: *#6* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Arsé-kun: Yog: *7* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?? Arsé-kun: Yog: *8* UHTW9028QHI3U8H2UOWQ.. *it's just button mash for several lines* Arsé-kun: Yog: *9, the last and biggest dialogue box* OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO NO NO NO, NONONONONONONONONONONO, NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO, NONO, OH NO, WHAT'S BROKEN?!? WHY IS PURSON NOT WORKING?!? NOW ISN'T THE PLACE FOR THAT, I CAN'T LET MY KIDS THINK I'M AGAINST THIS! I KNEW THIS WAS COMING, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT ALL TO GRANDFATHER'S DARKEST CORNERS! F U C K Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I see the resemblance. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: It broke...? How? It can break...? Sheepy: Grif: It’s never broken before. ... Is it a quest? Hmm...hmm.. I have to fix it... Sheepy: Grif: Let’s work hard to fix it. *he’s recovered his composure...* Sheepy: Grif: And then we punch my uncle until it works. Arsé-kun: Kay: We can't just punch it until it works? Why not? *he might be joking. might* Arsé-kun: *The Panic Dialogue box closes on it's own, and up comes a new one* Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: Yog: Oops, the menu server malfunctioned! Only that first message was intended to be read, but the confetti crashed everything! Oopsie whoopsie! uwu Sheepy: Grif: Hmm..So no punching anyone after all...Unfortunate. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... I don't understand this last part. Sheepy: Grif: I see. It is unnecessary. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, the server broke due to the confetti. Arsé-kun: Kay: Incredible. Sheepy: Grif: It's fine now. Sheepy: Grif: Howver... I did not plan this far, so I do not know what to do from here... Arsé-kun: Kay: Do we go back...? Or do we brag that we did this better than most of the wizards? Sheepy: Grif: I don't know. Sheepy: Grif: I'll follow your lead. Arsé-kun: Kay: Eh... Fuck those wizards. They can eat shit and choke on it. Deal with it when it's not night. Sheepy: Grif: Right. Sheepy: Grif: Makes sense. Sheepy: Grif: We can tell Elyan the news. Arsé-kun: Kay: And then rest up for another day of dealing with things I don't understand. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Kay: Exciting. I can't wait to get another headache. Sheepy: Grif: Let's work hard. Arsé-kun: *and so, they turn around and go back to home base.* Sheepy: Grif: We’re back. Sheepy: *Elyan turns his head much further back than a cat should and slowly slides down the wall.* Arsé-kun: *Sith throws a jingly ball at him for his anatomy breaking crimes* Sheepy: *Elyan chases after it... clumsily. He's still not used to this form.* Arsé-kun: *The door closes behind them, nearly hitting their backsides. Spooky!* Sheepy: Grif:! Sheepy: *Grif draws his sword!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Lower your weapon, Sir Griflet. It was only me. Sheepy: Grif: ....? Sheepy: Grif: You're a door? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I closed it for you. Lucan informed me it is still polite to do so. Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: I will keep it open so you can close it from now on. Arsé-kun: Kay: Or maybe don't do that? He won't need to if you do it yourself. Sheepy: Grif: But it's polite for him to close it and I shouldn't take that from him. Arsé-kun: Kay: It's polite to close a door after you use it in GENERAL! Unless someone is going in with you! Were you raised in a barnhouse?? Sheepy: Grif: No. In a cave. Sheepy: Grif: There are no doors in caves. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That makes more sense. Did your outing go well? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Good, good! That's wonderful to hear. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: The quest has been completed. Arsé-kun: Kay: Big alien gods are capable of panicking like people. We learned that today! Sheepy: *in the bg, Elyan is trying to play with the ball. he isn't quite getting it* Arsé-kun: *frustrated sith.jpeg* Sheepy: Grif: Yes. It is very concerning... I need to check on Dad later... Sheepy: Grif: I suppose other Dad too...but he's hibernating...He's supposed to wake soon... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Would I be able to meet him this time? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: He stayed away from you due to the sheer amout of knights around you. Sheepy: Grif: You should be safer now. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Wonderful! I've wanted to meet him for a while now! Sheepy: Grif: Knights are dangerous because they fight dragons for sport. Dad has been around for a very long time and probably would be unharmed by almost any weapon a knight could have, but... still he worried, just slightly. Sheepy: Grif: I'll introduce him to you when he wakes up. Arsé-kun: *Arthur is Pleased!* Sheepy: Grif: He lives in a cave. It's cozy. It's my childhood home. Sometimes I go back there. Arsé-kun: Kay: Who hasn't been in a cave before? Sheepy: Grif: People who haven't been in a cave before. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... I can't argue against that. Sheepy: Grif: It's where dragons store their hoards. Sheepy: I was going to design a ferret version of elyan because I thought it'd be fitting but thn I forgot Sheepy: *Elyan is blankly watching them in the background* Arsé-kun: *Elyan continues to be a mood* Sheepy: Grif: But for now, you can meet my other dad occasionally. Sheepy: Grif: He's Santa Claus. Sheepy: Lucan: Every Santa is someone's parent. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Mine. Arsé-kun: Yog: You called? Sheepy: Grif: Dad, this is my King. He's a ghost now. Sheepy: *Elyan approaches Yog* Arsé-kun: *Elyan is pat by an orb. Do not ask how this works.* Sheepy: Grif: The other cute cat is Cait Sith. Sheepy: Grif: He likes steak. Arsé-kun: Yog: Two kings. Interesting. I would curtsy, but I believe the problem with that is easy to see. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: No pants. Arsé-kun: Yog: ..... There are several issues with this suggestion. Sheepy: Grif: For one, you'll be thrown in a dungeon for not wearing pants. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... Several knights have raided enemy camps alone and completely nude without ever seeing a dungeon for it. Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, you can't escape to put pants on and people are not thrilled to help you escape. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Griflet, how many times have you done this? Sheepy: Grif: Armor wears down and generally I don't bother wearing it. Sheepy: Grif: I have a whole list on ratings of enemy dungeons on a scale of 10 stars based on areas such as food, atmosphere, sights, and general treatment. Arsé-kun: Arthur: How many times for not wearing pants, Griflet? Sheepy: Grif... Sheepy: Grif: 22. So, of course, I have top twenty best and worst dungeons to be stuck pantsless in. Sheepy: Grif: That is because two of those were in dungeons I'd already been caught in before without pants. Arsé-kun: Yog: Please wear pants to not be thrown into jail. It is not a dungeon. It is not fun. Sheepy: Grif: Clothes...clothes are not comfortable... Unfortunately, they're required. Sheepy: Grif: However, I sleep with full armor on. Arsé-kun: Arthur: It's very uncomfortable. Sheepy: Grif: You do it as well? Arsé-kun: Arthur: I've had to a few times. I did not enjoy the experience. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: However, I've slept through multiple people at once trying to beat me to death thanks to it. Sheepy: Grif: Sleep is important. It's very rude to interrupt it. Sheepy: Grif: Therefore, it's worth it. Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: No, don't wake Kay either. Arsé-kun: Kay: I'd like to, but I'm waiting for you to move your ass. Sheepy: Grif: Let's go, then. Sheepy: *Grif heads to bed* Arsé-kun: *Kay goes with, for the same purpose. finally, hell day can end* Sheepy: *Elyan sticks with Sith. He's just very excited to have a new friend!* Sheepy: *the next morning!* Sheepy: Grif: Rise and shine, Kay. We're going grave robbing. Arsé-kun: *Kay adamantly refuses to rise or shine.* Sheepy: Grif: *he throws Kay over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes* I appreciate your enthusiasm. Sheepy: Grif: Let's work hard as usual. Sheepy: Grif: But should I bring someone else with me.. Sheepy: Grif: *he goes looking for Arthur* Arsé-kun: *Arthur is in the hallway, inspecting a message board. What are these mysterious scrolls, so thin and straight but so clean? .. It's just old fliers for school events, but he's more interested in the paper itsellf* Sheepy: Grif: There you are. Sheepy: Grif: We're going grave robbing. Come with us. Sheepy: Grif:...Ah, that's paper. You can eat it. It's decent in flavor. Sheepy: Grif: However, it's warmer and tastier right out of the printer. Arsé-kun: Arthur: What is a printer, Sir Griflet? Arsé-kun: Arthur: But I see.. Paper is much different than it used to be. Sheepy: Grif: It takes the contents on a paper and duplicates them onto a new paper. Arsé-kun: *Featuring Kay just not bothering to argue because he isn't winning this. He's stuck on all fronts. Help him.* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Fascinating! And it doesn't require a human to manually do this? Sheepy: Grif: It can clone it infinitely so long it has its two most important supplies: Ink and paper. Sheepy: Grif: It just requires a human to put the page in. Arsé-kun: Arthur: :O Sheepy: Grif: Unlimited Page Works. Arsé-kun: Yog: *from Paimon* It also requires electricity, do not forget that crucial element! Sheepy: Grif: If you continue to punch it it will not require electricity. Arsé-kun: *Yog responds by bringing up an old tutorial on machine durability. aka "dont do that"* Sheepy: Grif: I see. Sheepy: Grif: Well, you have to come with us. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I would love to, except I am bound to the Excalibur. Where I am presently is the furthest I can go. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. I'll just carry its wielder with me too. Sheepy: Mordred: Man, sure is too bad for you that I don't want to help my stinky, garbage, good for nothing dad by carrying the shiny king sword, huh? You totally need mt help, don't you? (Griflet: No.) C'mon, c'mon, beg for my help! I know you want it! Don't be shy- (Griflet: You're useless to me.) -EH?! Sheepy: Mordred: How could I possibly be USELSSS to you?! Sheepy: Grif: I don't know you and you aren't a potential social link. Arsé-kun: Kay: Also, you're annoying and don't know how to shut up. Arsé-kun: *Arthur makes the squinting cat face* Sheepy: Mordred: How do you not know me? You SAT NEAR ME! AT THE TABLE! And made eye contact many times! -And maybe you're just not very tolerant! Sheepy: Grif: I have never seen you before. Arsé-kun: *Kay is laughing into Grif's shirt.* Sheepy: Mordred: You guys are JERKS! Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Perhaps put your helmet on. Sheepy: Mordred: Ugh, fine! Sheepy: *Mordred does so* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Bucket head. Sheepy: Mordred: Ugh, fine! Sheepy: *Mordred does so* Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Bucket head. Sheepy: Mordred: It's Mordred. Mordred! The King's son!! Sheepy: Grif: Ah. I've never heard of you. You aren't at all charming like the Queen... Sheepy: Mordred: *huff* You'll all see! One day I'll do something so great everyone will regret not paying attention to me sooner...! You won't even be able to claim we hung out together!! Sheepy: Mordred: "Man, I wish I could've been friends with him before he got popular! Now he doesn't have the time of day for people like me"... That's what you'll think, Dad! And then I'll hang out with you anyway! Not because I like you but to prove that I'm better than you and I'd actually give time to my family no matter how big I am. No, not because I ever want to spend time with you nor my uncle! Because I hate both of you but especially you! Sheepy: Aru: Mordred, you're being loud. Arsé-kun: Kay: Morning, Princess. Your service is required! Sheepy: Mordred: See, see! I spend way more time than my great, great, wonderfully great grandkids than you ever spent with me! And look at how much they love me! You can see where you went wrong, I bet! Sheepy: Aru: Really? Where are we going? Sheepy: Aru: How can I help? Sheepy: Mordred: I even kick Lucan around until he helps them figure out tough homework problems! Yup, I really am the best. Arsé-kun: Kay: Mode, nobody's even listening to you Arsé-kun: Arthur: I need to be mobilized, for one. Griflet referred to it as "Grave Robbing", but a more accurate term would be "Restoring me to being alive." Sheepy: Aru: Oh, I see. Sheepy: Aru: I'll get the sword then! One moment. *she leaves briefly before returning with the sword* Sheepy: Mordred: Why does nobody ever listen to me? Arsé-kun: Kay: Because you have no concept of timing or letting important things happen? You can bully your father better after we make him physical, okay? Can you wait that long? Sheepy: Mordred: Heh! I'm patient! I've waited so long for this... What's one more minute! Sheepy: Mordred: But you better not run away! Sheepy: Mordred: I'll track you down! Sheepy: Aru: You can't leave here. Sheepy: Mordred: Ghhh... Details... Sheepy: Aru: Are we ready to go? Arsé-kun: Kay: We're about 90 to 95 percent ready! Sheepy: Aru: What's missing? Arsé-kun: Kay: My feet being on the ground. Sheepy: *Grif puts Kay down* Arsé-kun: [Quest: Arthur’s Corpsereal Forme] Arsé-kun: Kay: ... Do I have to see these terrible puns every time we set out to do something? Sheepy: Grif: No, just wear an eyepatch over both eyes. Sheepy: Grif:............. Sheepy: Grif: Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... *he just sighs* Sheepy: Grif:...Because you cannot see with both on. Sheepy: Aru: He'd smack into everything, though. Sheepy: Grif: Dad writes them. Sheepy: Grif: He’s so busy, and yet he does it anyway... Sheepy: *The group gets to the lake!* Sheepy: Grif: It’s in there. Sheepy: Grif: We just have to get it out. Simple, one step quest. Sheepy: Aru: How? Sheepy: Grif: By getting it out. Arsé-kun: Kay: We need to find it. I can stay down there long enough to do this, but I don't know where it is. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That would make the most sense, but... I wasn't buried with it. Sheepy: Grif: We could also have the King go through to see where it is. Use his ghost tricks to find its core... Eh, wait, wrong thing. Sheepy: Grif: You weren’t buried with it, hm. Sheepy: Grif: And Bedivere’s memory seems to be failing him generally... So would he remember where your body is exactly, I wonder... Sheepy: *Nearby, Bedi has arrived with flowers! He places them down by the lake. he doesn’t seem to notice the group and is more fixated with a certain spot in the lake. [Burial Spot has been marked on the minimap!]* Arsé-kun: Kay: *strolling over* Morning, Bedi. No wizards? Sheepy: Bedi: ...Oh, Kay! *he looks up, visibly surprised* I think it’s too early for them... Arsé-kun: Kay: What losers. Sheepy: Bedi: They usually do not come with me. Sheepy: Bedi: Coming here daily would probably be too tedious for them. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose there is no point for me to come here anymore, but it always helps clear my head and keep me focused. Arsé-kun: Kay: Then what's gonna stop you? Sheepy: Bedi: Nothing. Sheepy: Bedi: Even if his soul is no longer here...I must visit every day to make sure his grave is not defiled. One of my final acts for my King was to prevent geave robbers from finding his body...so I must continue that service. Sheepy: Grif: We're going to rob his grave. Sheepy: Bedi: ! *he appears conflicted* ...I cannot let you do that. But if you know the location... I'm not stupid. I'd die trying to protect it from you. But I made a promise...so I can't die here. Sheepy: Grif: Ah. Well, you can go find another promise after I stomp on this one. I believe in you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *unsure* .. Is it still defilement if there is a necessary reason to dig it up? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't understand why you would want to be dug up. This was Lucan's last action for you. ..Can I really just erase that? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Because according to most recordings of our stories, it suggests I would once again walk the Earth. This is difficult when I am not alive or have a physical forme. The act is not to destroy the site- It's only an extraction process. And if I die again, this will be where I am returned to. It will only be a temporary situation. Sheepy: Bedi:....*he's mulling this over* ....Right, that makes sense. Sheepy: *Bedi hesitantly lifts his hand and points to a spot in the lake* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Unfortunately, Arthur does not have the range for this and can't actually reach it* Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize for its quality... it's the best I could do. If I were Sir Lancelot or Sir Gawain, I am sure I could have given you the grand burial you deserved. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I appreciate it all the same. Sheepy: Bedi:...! *his eyes widen in surprise* Really...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Why would I not? Sheepy: Bedi: Because Sir Lancelot and Sir Gawain could have done better had they been there. Arsé-kun: Kay: I got it, I got it! *no hesitation before throwing himself into the lake. he got it he got it* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Sheepy: Grif: He can swim. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I hope so. It would be awfully ironic to be unable to drown but also be unable to swim. Sheepy: Grif: I can swim. Arsé-kun: Arthur: We know, Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Good. Arsé-kun: *Griflet is reminded by a menu pop up that if he wants to participate in things like this, he needs a Swim over 15.* Sheepy: Grif:! Sheepy: Grif:...But water's cold and wet... Sheepy: Grif: The only water I like is Elyan. Sheepy: Grif: I hate going in it. Arsé-kun: *Yog's only reply is "Lol git gud noob". classy* Sheepy: Grif: Guh...! Sheepy: Grif: F...fine! I'll...! Sheepy: Grif: I'll show you! I'll get good! Nobody can doubt my capabilities! Nobody!!! Arsé-kun: Yog: There is a time and place for everything. But not now. Sheepy: *Grif has gone into rage and reject input mode. He jumps in.* Arsé-kun: *Yog gives up and goes back to his other duties. Whatever.* Arsé-kun: *It is very wet. It is very cold. It is a body of water in the winter. How the lake is not frozen over is completely beyond me.* Sheepy: Bedi:...But his swimming skills are some of the worst among the knights. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... *he just kinda accepts that this is happening* Sheepy: Bedi: Should we do something...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: Probably...? Sheepy: Bedi: Um, ummm... Sheepy: Bedi: He's going to get sick... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Absolutely. Sheepy: Bedi:?! Sheepy: Bedi: Why are you here...? Arsé-kun: Arséne: I offered my assistance to Meril yesterday, so I am making good on it. Good morning and bonjour to you too. Sheepy: Bedi:.... Sheepy: Bedi: *he anxiously looks to Arthur* Arsé-kun: Arthur: If Meril permitted it, I do not see a problem with it. He's the most trustworthy in these sorts of situations. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose so... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Fantastic. I was not sure how this was going to be done, so I brought some modern tools along. Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Arsé-kun: *Arséne responds by pulling his toolbag to the front. Yes, really* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...Kay and Griflet are already in there. Kay is a very talented swimmer. Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet is one of the worst among the knights. Arsé-kun: Arséne: ... Well, that sounds like a personal problem. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: Perhaps Kay will need these tools. Arsé-kun: Kay: Kay would like these tools. Please take this Griflet. Sheepy: Grif: *he's clinging to Kay, shivering all over..* I-it's cold! Cold!! Sheepy: Bedi: *he takes his coat off and puts it on Grif* Arsé-kun: Arséne: If you need out of this weather, I drove here, so you can warm up in the car. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...Paimon, define car. Arsé-kun: Yog: Big metal machine with four wheels designed to carry two or more occupants. Used for travelling, and for far more distance than any normal mount. They have heating and air conditoning. Sheepy: Grif: ! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I want warmth. Arsé-kun: *Arséne puts the toolbag down and guides Grif to Warmth* Sheepy: *Grif is very happy to have warmth!* Arsé-kun: *Kay checks the bag. What is this strangely shaped sickle? Is this a weapon? Is this a mattock? It's sure about to be!* Sheepy: Bedi: It's a pickaxe. Arsé-kun: Kay: Real clever name. Sheepy: Bedi: It's like an axe but it's used to pick at hard objects. Arsé-kun: Kay: Like rocks? Sheepy: Bedi: That's its main use. Sheepy: Bedi: It's a dangerous tool for archaeology because it can destroy bones with ease. Sheepy: Bedi:...Oh, would you know what archaeology is, even... Arsé-kun: Kay: Nope. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose eventually I should brief you on modern subjects. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes, please, break me in half with your modern knowledge. Sheepy: Bedi: Um...This may be difficult to do. Sheepy: Bedi: But I can do it after you've finished. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well, okay. I will go back into the depths of cold. Arsé-kun: *Kay walks into the lake a second time. Just right on in. just* Sheepy: Bedi: Good luck! Arsé-kun: *bubble sound. kay says thanks* Sheepy: *Bedi awaits Kay's return.* Arsé-kun: *LATER* Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... I wonder when he'll return... Arsé-kun: Arthur: It certainly is taking him a while. Sheepy: Bedi: *he's activated Airgetlam to keep everyone warm. it's a much more welcoming light than how it is in combat.* ...I think he's coming back! Sheepy: Bedi: Kay, did you find it?! Arsé-kun: Kay: *resurfaces, finally* What?? Sheepy: Bedi: The body? Arsé-kun: Kay: I think so??? I got a huge chunk of rock?? Nothing else down there! ... Also, I found another sword so that was cool. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah....Um, we need to open the chunk of rock. Arsé-kun: Kay: I did all this myself, you come get it! It's heavy! Sheepy: Bedi: You brought it up? Arsé-kun: Kay: Yes! I considered bringing it up all the way, but nobody wants to see me that big I bet. Sheepy: Bedi: I can do the rest. Sheepy: *Bedi goes to the rock and lifts it using airgetlam* Arsé-kun: *it very big. very rectangl. much purble. wow* Sheepy: Bedi: How do we open it...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hit it? It looks like a gem, but there's somethin' in there. No doubt about it. Sheepy: Bedi:....Yes, I can do that. Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 3 Sheepy: Bedi: *he puts it down on the ground and inhales sharply, positioning himself to break the crystal. ...He begins trembling all over. What if he damages the King? Oh no. Oh no. Oh no- Ah, he only hit the edge...* Arsé-kun: Kay: That proves we can break it. Good work, Sir. Sheepy: Bedi: ...? Sheepy: Bedi: I just cannot stomach the thought of potentially hurting the King... Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm dead. You have permission to injure me slightly. Sheepy: Bedi:..... Arsé-kun: Arséne: *He is disregarding this for the chunk of gem on the ground. He wants the Shiny. He has the shiny. And he didn't steal it! Technically!* Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 7 Sheepy: get ready for nat 1 Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 1 Sheepy: *Bedi tries calming his nerves. He finally manages to... But just as he's about to make contact, Airgetlam deactivates and Bedi instead pulls a muscle. The area remains undented...* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Okay, move it, lemme have a go. Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize...I just can't...*he shifts so Kay can get to it* ...I have to, and yet, I... Arsé-kun: *Kay smacks it with the pickaxe. It bounces right off and he smacks himself in the face* Sheepy: Bedi:! Kay, are you alright?! Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah... That hurt, but worth a shot. Sheepy: Bedi: Switch on, Airgetlam! *His right arm lights up brightly! He brings it down upon the rock!* Arsé-kun: *Finally, some meaningful damage! He gives it a big ol' crack right in the middle!* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, it's a start...! Sheepy: Bedi: *he brings Airgetlam down on the rock once more, fired up!* Arsé-kun: *He breaks it!!!* Sheepy: Bedi: *huff...huff...huff...* ...It's done.... Sheepy: Bedi: *he clutches the ribs on his right side* Sheepy: Bedi: Guh...! I'm sorry... *huff, huff* ...I suppose I've gotten rusty. Sheepy: Grif:...? *he approaches* ...It's rocks. ...Tasty... Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, can you at least wait until we get Wart OUT of the rocks to eat all of them?? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We can share them afterwards. Sheepy: Grif: They contain many vitamins. Sheepy: Grif: Like... Arsé-kun: Kay: They also contain break-your-mouth. Sheepy: Grif:.....Eh, what's a vitamin? Sheepy: Grif: It just sounds like a fun word...Probably good for you. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe you're just eating rocks wrong. Sheepy: Bedi: It's open...Now what do we do...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Hell if I know. Sheepy: Bedi: Uncover his body, I suppose... ... Ah, but I haven't seen it since I buried it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Me neither! *trying to be funny to lighten the mood just a Little Bit* Sheepy: Bedi: So its status...I hope it has been perserved properly. Excalibur can help prevent aging, but... Sheepy: Bedi:...Decaying, I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Grif: Well, one way to find out. Sheepy: Grif: *He throws off the layer on top of Arthur's body* Arsé-kun: *If not for the fact that everyone present knows Arthur is dead, it would be surprisingly easy to mistake him for just napping in some rocks. Except the paleness and not breathing, but you get it. Shut.* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Arsé-kun: *Slight disappointment from Arséne, who was expecting a genuine corpse and not this preserved nonsense* Sheepy: Grif: Huh. Arsé-kun: Kay: Geez, what a loser. It can't be him, he's gotta be under. *he jokingly starts to lean down to fucking toss Arthur's body, but stops because he isn't actually going to* Arsé-kun: Arthur: :I Sheepy: Grif: He's surprisingly less dead than I remember him being. Arsé-kun: Arséne: He looks like he was only dead for about five minutes. Decay hasn't even set in yet. Sheepy: Grif: Well, decay's really lazing on the job. Sheepy: Grif: Go on, wear your fleshsuit. Arsé-kun: Arthur: My... My what? Pardon? Sheepy: Grif: Fleshsuit. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I firmly dislike that. Sheepy: Grif: Well, you don't wear a body. Sheepy: Grif: You are a body. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Sir Griflet, you are henceforth banned from referring to my body as a "Fleshsuit". Sheepy: Grif: Go into your meat puppet and puppeteer it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... I take back my declaration in awe of how much worse you made it. Sheepy: *Bedi's broken down crying in the background from seeing his king again, but this isn't about him.* Sheepy: Grif: Good. Arsé-kun: *Bedi needs time to himself to process it all. Let him be* Sheepy: Grif: When you go into your body everything may feel off at first. Sheepy: Grif: You may feel like stiff. Because you're in one. Sheepy: Grif: .......Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Can't this wait until after I have the ability to function? Sheepy: Grif: I will prepare my greatest joke for you for when you are able to function. Arsé-kun: Kay: That sounds horrific. Quick, take far longer than necessary. Sheepy: Grif: More time to think of one. Arsé-kun: *After a lot of deliberation and cautious lowering of one's self, Arthur does re-enter his body!* Sheepy: Grif: How are you feeling? Sheepy: Grif: Dead bodies are so slow to talk back. Arsé-kun: Arséne: It's not going to be that quick..! Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Does he need to reboot his operating system? Arsé-kun: Arséne: That is... A surprisingly apt way of putting it, but yes. Sheepy: Grif: Paimon has many apts. Arsé-kun: Arséne: That's an App. Sheepy: Grif: Ah... Sheepy: Grif: So we just wait Sheepy: Grif: Bedivere, please cry quieter. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oi, eat sod, let him have it. Sheepy: Grif: Eat? ..... Rocks, tasty... Sheepy: Grif:......*He turns around towards the lake and starts digging for a rock* Arsé-kun: *he finds a rock immediately* Sheepy: Grif: *he starts eating the rock. cronch* Arsé-kun: Kay: .... So, Aru, this is a whole mess you've landed yourself into. You feel good about it? Sheepy: Aru: It's not the weirdest situation I've ended up in. I know my contribution has been minimal, but I'm happy that I helped someone. Arsé-kun: Kay: ....? How have you gotten into stranger than watching a ghost retake his centuries? Old? Corpse?? Sheepy: Aru: Our uncle travels often for business but occasionally he visits us. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah? Is he dead too? Sheepy: Aru: No, but he's supposed to be. Sir Lancelot nearly killed him for revealing the affair between the Queen and Sir Lancelot... Sheepy: Aru: He doesn't hold any grudges about it. Arsé-kun: Kay: ... .... How the hell is HE alive??? Sheepy: Aru: He's a vampire. Sheepy: Aru: He likes baking sweets so he usually brings them when he comes to visit. His lion-shaped cookies are cute... Sheepy: Aru: He's extremely prickly on the outside but he's sweet on the inside. Arsé-kun: Kay: Oh, he does that openly now?? Good for him. It's about damn time. Sheepy: Aru: Yes, he does. Apparently his boss does too. Arsé-kun: Kay: Is it just more acceptable now? Is that a thing men are permitted to do publically? Sheepy: Aru: Yup! Arsé-kun: Kay: We get back *he looks a bit excited* And you're showing me how to operate that so called "oven stove". Sheepy: Aru: Yeah, I can do that! I'm good at using it. Sheepy: Grif: You can cook, Kay? Arsé-kun: Kay: Used to. Not sure how it'll work out now. If I gotta make a fire and do it my way, so be it. Sheepy: Grif: I believe in you. Arsé-kun: Kay: Well now I have to! Sheepy: Grif: I'm sure you'll bake something great, dough you may mess up a few times. Sheepy: Grif:....Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: Yog: [Quest: Arthur’s Corpsereal Forme: Completed!] *confetti, confetti, small trumpet fanfare* Sheepy: Grif: Guh! Sheepy: Grif: ...*he appears embarrassed*... It startled me. Sheepy: Grif: So with the quest completed...He's awake? Arsé-kun: Yog: [New Extra Quest: Life's Batter with Cakes!] Sheepy: Grif:....Cake... Sheepy: Grif: *His eyes have lit up...He's excited!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: ..... Cake sounds... *he sounds a bit hoarse* .... Really nice right now... Sheepy: Grif: I don't have any. Sheepy: Bedi: ...! Sheepy: Grif: You can have some later. Sheepy: Grif: For now, you need to get up. I won't carry you unless I have to. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... ..... *he coughs* Sir Bedivere, please assist. Sheepy: Bedi: ...! Yes, of course! *He rushes over to Arthur's side and lifts him up* Arsé-kun: Kay: Great, cool, can we go now? It's goddamn colder than the inside of a winter fae's dead heart and tit. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Please lead the way. Arsé-kun: Kay: I gotta do everything in this shit century?? *but, he eventually does. he isnt happy about it.* Sheepy: *Bedi follows Kay to their destination. Grif and Aru follow as well.* Sheepy: Grif: *he takes off the coat Bedi gave him and shoves it at Kay* Arsé-kun: *Kay takes it without complaint. For once* Sheepy: Bedi: How do you feel, my King? Sheepy: Grif: With his hands. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Like I got hit by a bear. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe you should take advil...Oh, you wouldn't know what that is. Sheepy: Grif: It's what you forge weapons upon. Arsé-kun: Kay: That's an anvil. Sheepy: Grif: Oh. Sheepy: Bedi: Advil is a pain medication. Sheepy: Bedi: It temporarily relieves pain. Sheepy: Bedi: Some types of pain medication reduce swelling as well and allow blood to flow easier, which is problematic if you're bleeding. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Ah. I meant hit as in... Hm... Sheepy: Bedi: However, I cannot attest to its usefulness. I stopped feeling pain long ago. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That is extremely concerning. Sheepy: Bedi: I have very few sensations when it comes to touch, I'm afraid... Cold does not bother me because I cannot feel it. The same goes for heat. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose that's why I am not bothered by Airgetlam being up against what was once a tender area. Sheepy: Bedi:...Heating up. Arsé-kun: Arthur: .... Extraordinarily concerning. Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose so. Sheepy: Bedi: But... if not feeling is the price I must pay to always be there for my King, it is a small price. Arsé-kun: Arthur: *mac loading cursor* Arsé-kun: Arthur: .. If everything being blurry is my price for being back, so be it. Sheepy: Bedi: We can get glasses for you. Arsé-kun: Arthur: What will glass do...? Sheepy: Bedi: It corrects vision. Sheepy: Bedi: You'll need to get a special prescription... But we can do that later. Sheepy: Bedi: It should fix everything. Sheepy: Bedi: You wear it over your eyes. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Interesting. Sheepy: Bedi: Just be careful not to break them. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... Because it's glass. Sheepy: Bedi: And they're somewhat expensive. Arsé-kun: Arthur: But isn't glass just hot sand..? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, the glass is special because it's custom made to fit your specific vision so you can see well. Arsé-kun: Arthur: That's amazing. Things have certainly advanced... Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Science truly is amazing! Arsé-kun: Arthur: You'll have to inform me of more! It's very interesting! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Sheepy: Bedi: There's a lot to learn. For example...The Earth is round. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, that was proven? Very nice. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Sheepy: Bedi: You can put your clothes in a box and they come out clean. Arsé-kun: Arthur: No hand washing by maids anymore.. Sheepy: Bedi: Some clothes need hand washing. Most don't. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Kay can still do the laundry. Sheepy: Bedi: Kay is very talented... Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I fully expected a complaint of some kind. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Kay? Arsé-kun: *... Nothing* Sheepy: Bedi: Hm...he must have needed to do something... Sheepy: Bedi: Where do I carry you to...? Arsé-kun: Arthur: The sofa, I suppose. I would like to try that. It looks soft.. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, that works. *he carries Arthur to the sofa* Arsé-kun: *Well, they found Kay, hogging up all of the sofa space and leaving his wet clothes on the floor. How'd he change this fast? Probably learned that from Grif. I don't know either.* Sheepy: Bedi: Ah.... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Oh, that's a shame. Sheepy: Bedi: I should find a blanket for him afterwards... Arsé-kun: Arthur: It would be wise. Sheepy: Bedi: But finding a place for you to rest is my top priority. Sheepy: Bedi: After I find a place for you, I can figure out the difficult situation of how I can be here for you if you need me if I don't live here. No phone yet...Hmm. Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... You don't have to be. You have your own life, don't you? Sheepy: Bedi: My role is being your knight. Without that, I am nothing. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... ... *he opts to just quietly leave again. Nevvvvvermind.* Sheepy: Bedi: If you have no need for me, well... Hmm. The very thought of being useful to you in the future helps me cling to life. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I didn't say that, but I doubt I'd need you so often that you move. ... That is a poor way of saying it. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I'm trying to tell you that you don't need to orbit around me like Kay does alcohol. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. That makes sense. But you'll still need to communicate with me long distance. ...For now, I'll trade phone numbers with Aru if she allows it... Sheepy: Bedi: However... unfortunately, other than the Queen, Sir Lancelot, and the wizards... I am the only one who can relate to both being a part of the past while still having understanding of modern technology...Simply, among us, none would be better for making you accustomed to modern times. Arsé-kun: Arthur: And between all of you, I believe it will go well. You do not need to do it all yourself. Sheepy: Bedi: However, I should do all I can. Sheepy: Bedi: I cannot just sit around and do nothing. I have already done this for too long. Sheepy: Bedi: My embarrassment of my performance back at the lake is unfathomable. Sheepy: Bedi: No knight of yours can possibly be so weak. So, I must work harder. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Sir Bedivere? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes? Arsé-kun: Arthur: ...How did Kay say it? "Shut the hell your mouth"? Sheepy: Bedi: I apologize. You need not hear my thoughts on the matter. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Your thoughts are valuable input. You're valuable. Stop saying things like that and meaning them. Sheepy: Bedi: *he appears surprised... and incredibly happy very briefly!* Arsé-kun: Arthur: Instead, I'd rather you think about how well you did today. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Arsé-kun: Arthur: Can you do that for me? Sheepy: Bedi:...! Yes, of course! If that is your order, I will pride myself in today's achievements. Arsé-kun: Arthur: I shouldn't have to make that an order... Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, compared to my fellow knights, my achievements are insignificant and overall unmemorable. It is difficult to feel pleased with them. But if you believe it them to be great, then they must be. Sheepy: Bedi:...Hmm, but...am I forgetting something? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah! Merlin never came to see you... Sheepy: Bedi: He did seem incredibly unhappy the other day. It worried me, but...I am sure he just felt overwhelmed. Arsé-kun: Arthur: Perhaps you should ask him. He seems to speak with you easily. Sheepy: Bedi: It would not be an ideal relationship if you could not speak easily to your husband... Arsé-kun: Arthur: Yes, yes, that makes s- --- Arsé-kun: Arthur: ... I'm sorry? Sheepy: Bedi:? Our relationship is wonderful... Were you worrying otherwise? Arsé-kun: Arthur: No, no. I wasn't aware that you two had gotten together. My apologies for my rudeness, and congrats to you both! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: Kay: *irritably* Can you two chatter somewhere else?? Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah, right! We still haven't found a place for you... I apologize, Kay. Sheepy: *Bedi brings Arthur to a place to lie down* Arsé-kun: *Arthur appreciates this. Kay also appreciates them leaving him alone* Sheepy: Bedi: I will go speak to Merlin about coming to visit you tomorrow. For now, please rest. You have had a long day. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Merlin certainly agrees on that plan, unless the day is taken up by something else! Even then, I'll call! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah! Merlin! You're here! *he gives Merlin a huge smile!* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, and if you're not up early, I'll make sure to wake you if you'd like. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Same to you, hun. Except you won't get a choice. Sheepy: Bedi: For now, let's go home and get ready for tomorrow. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah, yeah, one thing first. *He leans down to give Arthur a biiig hug. It is Required* Sheepy: Bedi: Now, let's head home so our King can sleep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, yes, of course. Sheepy: *Bedi gently takes Merlin's hand and heads out!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin's hopes go up. What a fool he is.* Sheepy: *Enjoy this while you can, Merlin!* Arsé-kun: *HE'S SURE GOING TO!* Sheepy: Bedi: After visiting the King tomorrow, we can stop by the sweets shop we always go to. The King might like it too, so we can invite him when he's recovered. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, he'd absolutely love it, no doubts! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! I need to start training again as well... I've gotten rusty, it seems. Maybe sometime later this week you could train with me? Sheepy: Bedi: I believe training will help both of us. Sheepy: Bedi: And anyway...I embarrassed myself today from being rusty. I'd rather only mess up in front of you alone...I don't feel embarrassed when it's you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Aw, I thought you did great. It was just some nervousness, nothing unusual. Sheepy: Bedi:...Nervousness isn't something I should let control me. Sheepy: Bedi: I make mistakes when it consumes me. Sheepy: Bedi: I pulled my rib on the right side thanks to this. But as a knight... I cannot let such things bother me. And yet, even with my senses dulled, breathing is uncomfortable. Sheepy: Bedi: However...around you, I do not mind letting that show. You wouldn't judge me over it. *he grins* Thank you. Let's train hard together, okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You hurt yourself?? I'll judge you on that and only that. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm healing that as soon as we get back! Arsé-kun: Merlin: After that, yes, absolutely! *he looks pumped* We're gonna kick so much ass! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, you'll heal my ribs? Thank you. I appreciate it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: <3 You're always welcome Sheepy: Bedi: *He's very pleased!* Arsé-kun: *Because Bedi is pleased, Merlin is happy! All is Good* Arsé-kun: *and they go home. bedi is healed. a good time is had. merlin brags at 90 miles an hour at meril. fou ends his fucking miserable life* Sheepy: *Meril is happy just being included in conversation.* Sheepy: *The next morning... Thanks to the excitement of yesterday, Bedi slept surprisingly well!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *Throwing the door open* Goooood morning!!~ Up and attem, sweetcheeks! :D :D :D Sheepy: *Bedi was confusedly glancing around the room before turning his attention towards Merlin* ...Sweetcheeks? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You not like that one? That's okay, but c'mon, you're runnin' late hun. Sheepy: Bedi:..... Arsé-kun: Merlin:..... Sheepy: Bedi: (...He could be useful for information...) Sheepy: Bedi: (...But he could also be why I can't seem to recall a thing.) Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... What's wrong? Sheepy: Bedi: Are you certain you have the right person, sir? My name isn't "hun"... It's... (...What is it?) Arsé-kun: *Merlin freezes, losing all the color in his face as he stares at Bedi.* Sheepy: Bedi: (There has to be something with my name on it... Does this ring have an inscription on it?) Sheepy: Bedi: *he looks his wedding band over closely.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Oh, you're right! My bad, mistook you for your brother! Haha haha! Sorry for bothering you..! Sheepy: Bedi: Brother? Sheepy: Bedi: ...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Haha, sorry, my bad!! I'll let you be! Sorry!!! *he excuses himself and promptly bolts* Sheepy: Bedi: Hey, wait...! (My source of information left...!) Arsé-kun: *Merlin does not wait. Merlin is already down the stairs and leaving.* Sheepy: Meril: Hey, Merlin, you forgot Bedivere... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Aren't you in a hurry! Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou fou! Sheepy: Meril: I'm sure it won't bug him too much though. He already forgets to bring you often enough. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I did my part here! *He gives them a big, empty smile. It is clearly fake. He did not even remotely try to hide how hurt he is, or how his heart is currently shattering into tiny pieces as they speak.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyway, I'm dead inside, have a nice day!! :D :D :D *And he sure looks it. That is... Bad?* Sheepy: Myrrdin: What? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Did he kick you out? Arsé-kun: Merlin: What? I wish. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Then what...? Sheepy: Meril: Maybe Bedivere broke up with him after deciding the King needed him more. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... I....... No, but... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Then what? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've never seen you like this before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... ...... *He just sighs, dropping the obvious act for a moment. If he looked dead inside before, then now he matches the face of an actually dead person. Why have those lights and sparkles in your eyes when you can simply just not?* The inevitable finally happened. Sheepy: Myrrdin:......! Arsé-kun: *Merlin immediately puts the act back up, grins, and decides he's done with this discussion in favor of leaving.* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...I'm so sorry. Take the time you need. Arsé-kun: *Merlin exits the bar without a single line of sass. He's really hurting, and it shows* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Just...come back soon, okay? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Maybe. Arsé-kun: *Merlin leaves.* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... (Why did I never prepare myself for this? I knew it was coming eventually. I knew, and it still doesn't help... There was nothing I could do, like usual.) Arsé-kun: Merlin: (Why am I so utterly useless? Meril hates his incubus half but manages to be the best at it, Myrrdin has a constant threat of dying and he still does his damnest.. But there was nothing I could do for him.) Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he shakes his head and then glances around* (Maybe I can stop off at our favorite.... Well, just mine now.) Arsé-kun: Merlin: (Wonder if Vivian's willing to put me down. Or would she just call me gross and throw me out? I'd deserve it either way..) Sheepy: Shuzo: Hey. You look down ⭐ Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...Oh. Morning, Shuu. You're out early. Sheepy: Shuu: I was bored⭐️ And I can’t let my sparkling dream tourists think I’ve disappeared⭐️ Hehe⭐️ But such a face doesn’t fit a cute idol like you⭐ Arsé-kun: Merlin: Like the viewers care. I'm pretty sure most of them are there because I give myself gigantic boobs and because I'm gross. Sheepy: Shuu: Hey, I’m there because you’re sparkling ⭐ Sheepy: Shuu: You don’t have to talk about what’s bugging you... just know that I’m here for you ⭐️ Just call my name and I’ll appear by your side... Hehe ⭐ Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That helps a little. Sheepy: Shuu: Hearing that makes my heart sparkle ⭐️ In return... do one favor for me: give me a smile. Even an itty bitty one⭐️ Arsé-kun: *Merlin at least gives it a shot* Sheepy: Shuu: Hehe ⭐ Thank you ⭐ Sheepy: Shuu: When you feel down make sure to smile for me ⭐ My beloved friends being sad makes my heart crumble ⭐ Arsé-kun: Merlin: At least you have one ⭐ Mine took off for a week-long vacation in the Bahamas. Sheepy: Shuu: *his smile fades, leaving a concerned expression* ...Hey, c'mon, I'll treat you to something. I can't leave you like this. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I won't be in your way? I'm incredibly annoying. Sheepy: Shuu: You aren't annoying to me. You're my beloved friend. Arsé-kun: *Merlin perks up a bit!* Sheepy: Shuu: Where do you want to eat? Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he shrugs* Wherever the most people are, I guess. Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, let's go to Trip's. It's always crowded around now. Just make sure I don't eat too unhealthily... Nobody's there to make me eat veggies (star) Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll do no such thing. Sheepy: Shuu: Hehehe. What a good friend you are. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just don't let me order anything bad. Sheepy: Shuu: Will do ⭐ Arsé-kun: *it's time for a trashy breakfast place people only go to because it's open and has good grilled cheese!* Sheepy: Shuu: Great, we actually got a table ⭐ Is there enough people? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, I believe so. If everyone starts picking fights with each other, that's when we bail. Sheepy: Shuu:...Hmm? Okay. Sheepy: Shuu: If people start fighting, we can go somewhere else. Sheepy: Shuu: But for now, let's enjoy ourselves. Arsé-kun: *And they do! They get food, they eat, they chatter. ... Meanwhile, the Trip's is erupting into chaos around them. Just another normal morning at Trip's!* Sheepy: Shuu: Hehe. It's chaotic as usual. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We should probably get going soon... Don't need anyone realizing I'm the source of it. Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, then where do you want to go next? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That's a good question. Where could we go that won't start shit? Sheepy: Shuu: Denny's. Sheepy: Shuu:The head honcho was good about setting up a place that has that kind of effect ⭐ There's a bakery nearby too but I don't think you're in the mood to deal with the self-proclaimed waiter... He waited three seconds before telling me to leave the last time ⭐ Sheepy: Shuu: It's a new record. The food's too good to get mad at him though. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But it's more "You end up at Denny's" than "You intentionally go to Denny's", isn't it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, well. If they have that cool animatronic again I'll shut up. Sheepy: Shuu: It looks so musical. I want it to sing to me. Sheepy: Shuu: Let's go, let's go ⭐ Sheepy: *Shuu drags Merlin to Denny's* Arsé-kun: *Merlin ends up at Denny's. His prophecy... Was true.* Sheepy: Shuu: Here we are. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sheesh, this place always has such a weird vibe to it. Sheepy: Shuu: Yes ⭐ I rarely go here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Same. After a while, the dulled emotions of drunks and stoners doesn't really do it. Sheepy: Shuu: Yes... And the fear of being interacted with. Sheepy: Shuu: It's okay, though. I could duet with the robot and nobody would ever recognize me ⭐ Sheepy: Shuu: My voice reaches the furthest borders space but not Denny's. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But is it here? Is the robot here? Sheepy: Shuu: Let's go look. Sheepy: *Shuu goes looking for the robot* Arsé-kun: *The robot is not on it's perch on stage. It must not be here today* Sheepy: Shuu: Nope. Too bad. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What a shame. Sheepy: Shuu: What do you want to do instead? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ♪ What do you do when you're stuck at Den-ny's? Sheepy: Shuu: Cry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, that's true but please don't. I already want to. Sheepy: Shuu: Did you want to talk about it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Eh, at worst I'll sound like I'm on crack. Sure, I guess. Sheepy: Shuu: I'm a good listener. You can tell because I have four ears (star) Sheepy: Shuu:...Sorry. Go on. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he slides into a booth* ... *sigh* You've seen how forgetful Bedivere is. Every time I think things are going well, Fate smacks me upside the head. I've been trying to help him for so long.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... He woke up today not knowing who he was or who I was. Sheepy: Shuu:...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: It was inevitable. I knew it was coming. I knew..! Sheepy: Shuu: *his usual cheerful persona has faded* ...I'm so sorry. Sheepy: Shuu: Just because you knew doesn't mean you're to blame. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It feels bad. I've been trying so much to fix it or at least slow it. I've made no progress. Nothing works. *he looks down at the table* I can't call trying to help him a waste of time. heepy: Shuu: Have you brought him to any doctors? Sheepy: Shuu: Watson isn't a brain doctor but be might know a good one. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What kind of doctor would be willing to work on a patient well over five hundred years old? I can't just bust down a hospital door and ask them to take my boyfriend immediately. Sheepy: Shuu: You can if he can't remember anything. Sheepy: Shuu: That's an emergency. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I guess.. Sheepy: Shuu: You shouldn't carry this sort of burden alone. You might be some super powerful wizard but nobody is capable of everything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Not yet. Sheepy: Shuu: You still intend to figure it out by yourself? You'd be better off bringing him to the hospital. Sheepy: Shuu: The body tends to collapse when it forgets its resolve to live. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I never thought about it that way. If he even forgets that... Sheepy: Shuu: He might die without it, if I understand the situation properly. Sheepy: Shuu: Being his hero will feel satisfying if you succeed but relief when he gets help from many people is much better⭐ Arsé-kun: *Merlin is now visibly stressed. Good work, Shu⭐zo!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: We don't even know that many people anymore, though.. And it's not like we can go out much- if at all- with the curses stacked on us..! Sheepy: Shuu: Go to the Lupin guy who's been visiting you. Sheepy: Shuu: Detectives know everyone. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's a detective... And I'm pretty sure he does muggle cases. Sheepy: Shuu: Nyarlathotep lives at his place rent free. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, let me literally ask the Crawling Chaos himself to help me with no demonic contracts. Sheepy: Shuu: My point is that he should know someone. Sheepy: Shuu: Maybe consider outsourcing help. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Let me just post a crowdsourcing post. Let me open a Patreon for my immortal husband. Better tell the big newspapers! Arsé-kun: Merlin: How am I gonna ask without sounding completely insane?? Sheepy: Shuu: He lives with Nyarlathotep. He also lives with my doctor. Someone there should know. Sheepy: Shuu: Don't throw away possibilities. It's better to seem crazy rather than actually become it from heartbreak. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You sound as if you've learned that lesson personally. Sheepy: Shuu: No, I'm just a movie buff... maybe ⭐ Hehe. Sheepy: Shuu: You can't just uncover all of my mysteries so quickly. Next you'll be asking my species. Company secret ⭐ Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hm, we'll see about that, you... *he looks Shuu over* Lets call you a fox for now. Sheepy: Shuu: Sounds fine to me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Let me get this straightened out. You expect me to go to a place I have never been to, and to explain all of this like it's completely normal? Without accidentally draining the entire building? Sheepy: Shuu: I can go with you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But would your man allow it? Sheepy: Shuu: Eh? Why would he care? Sheepy: Shuu: I could ask, but... Arsé-kun: Merlin: You know what? Good point. Sheepy: Shuu: Okay, when did you want to go? I guess you should bring Bedivere with you, too, in case it's a situation that can be fixed right then and there, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I should, but is it a good idea? Sheepy: Shuu: What's the potential harm? Sheepy: Shuu: He doesn't remember you and thinks you're abducting him? Sheepy: Shuu: It'd be best if you explained the situation. He seems gullib- I mean, trusting. Hehe ⭐ He won't doubt you. Sheepy: Shuu: Then, you bring him to the detectives and they can help you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You really think it'll be that easy..? Sheepy: Shuu: Yeah. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Hm. Maybe. Sheepy: Shuu: I believe in you ⭐ Sheepy: *Merlin gets a text. And another text. And another text. And five more texts. Short pause. Text. Text* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sheesh, speak of the angel! *he goes to check, and it just keeps going off. bzz DING bzzz DING bbzzz DING bDING* Sheepy: *Most of the texts are incomprehensible combinations of letters, "ARE YOY OKAY???", "WHERE ARE YOU??", or "I'M SIRRY"* Sheepy: *Among the messages is a picture of Fou. It's from Bedi!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks relieved!* Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, it's him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's him. He's apologizing though it isn't his fault. Sheepy: Shuu: How kind of him (star) Arsé-kun: Merlin: [text: to Bedi] I'm okay, I'm at Denny's, don't be sorry, and don't go to Trip's- Last I saw it was a mess! Sheepy: *Merlin gets no response... It's just marked as Read...* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... If he shows up in the next ten minutes, whatever we buy's entirely on my tab. Sheepy: Shuu: Eh? Why? Sheepy: Shuu: I offered to treat you... Arsé-kun: Merlin: You did, but I'm making a bet. Sheepy: Shuu: Oh, how exciting ⭐ Sheepy: *Bedi shows up a few minutes later, looking fearful!* Sheepy: *His eyes are red and puffy and his face is still damp from crying... You've looked better, Bedi!* Arsé-kun: *He's also looked much worse! Merlin isn't picky!* Arsé-kun: *Either way, Merlin waves him over* Sheepy: *Bedi rushes over to Merlin and embraces him. Thought you had personal space, Merlin? Not anymore!* Arsé-kun: *Merlin didn't want personal space to begin with. He had no need for that!* Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin...! I'm so sorry...! I... *sob* ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I know, it's okay... It's fine, I understa-*hic* Sheepy: Bedi: No...! It's not fine! Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... *he takes a moment to swallow his own pride* ... Yeah, I know. You're right. Sheepy: Bedi: If only I could do something about it, but no matter how hard I try not to forget things, my effort is in vain. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It doesn't make any sense..! Nothing works, and it seems to happen whenever it wants..! Sheepy: Bedi: It doesn't appear to be connected to anything. I've always been on the forgetful side, but Sir Galahad suggested it was because I was an "airhead"... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's not the same. Being a bit forgetful is one thing. This is... Completely different. Sheepy: Bedi:...Certainly, he did not mean it as an insult. so it must be that he meant I had too much air in my head for space for memories. Sheepy: Bedi:...But for now, we can't question why it has to happen. Just how to fix it. Sheepy: Bedi:...Until then... I just have to keep fighting not to forget my purpose. Without my purpose, I... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've got nothing. At this point, I'm willing to get... Uh, what was it? Outside help? Sheepy: Shuu: Yup yup ⭐ Try talking to Mr. Detective. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Really don't think he's gonna have any good feelings towards us for it, but it'll be something. Sheepy: Shuu: Watson's a very good doctor so he might be able to help. Sheepy: Shuu: It's not like you have any other options anyway. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Even if I did, they're not exactly... Good. Sheepy: Bedi: Let's try our less risky options first. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So no bad decisions involving watery tarts? Good plan! Sheepy: Bedi: I'd rather we ask Sir Lancelot on matters concerning Vivian... Sheepy: Bedi: Huh? But we haven't asked him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm gonna change that. *he promptly harasses sends a message to Lancelot* Arsé-kun: Merlin: And that's that. Not my problem anymore! Sheepy: Bedi: Eh!? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can talk to her, I'm not chancing it! I like living! Arsé-kun: Merlin: After what she already did to us, no thanks! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... I suppose so. Arsé-kun: *Rom impatiently staring at Shuu in the background.jpeg* Sheepy: Shuu: Oops⭐ There's my ride⭐ It's tough being so popular... Hehe⭐ Arsé-kun: Merlin: It really is 🌸 Don't distract your driver now! Sheepy: Shuu: Yes! Bye bye, good luck⭐ Sheepy: Bedi: What should we do...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, let's see. Did you at least feed before you ran out here? Sheepy: Bedi: No. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, we're gonna solve that first. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...good idea. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... What should I get... Sheepy: Bedi: What a lawless place...! Sheepy: Bedi: Certainly they must know...! Pork is eaten in the morning, chicken in the afternoon, and beef at night. Ah, but fish can be eaten at all times of the day depending on the type snd the meats can be swapped depending on availability and the way it's cooked...Hmm..hmm...maybe such rules are arbitrary... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why would a place named after the deity of being rowdy and rambunctious care about this? Sheepy: Bedi: It is...? I have never met a deity named Denny before... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's romanticized to modern english. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, but if I translate, he might come out. We're not drinking this early. Sheepy: Bedi:? Sheepy: Bedi: Ah...so how Bedwyr became Bedivere... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, exactly like that! Sheepy: Bedi: And how Bedivere became Bedi...Yes, I suppose my name is too difficult to pronounce for most. Arsé-kun: Merlin: A nickname doesn't always mean your name is hard, Bedi. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: A shortening of someone's name is used for familiarity and friendliness. Or something. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... I could never comfortably use nicknames for others... However, having one does not bother me. Sheepy: Bedi: The risk of potentially seemingly overly casual is too great! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But you don't need to be so formal all the time either! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm...I have to disagree. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Why? Embarrassed of being casual? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, that's fine. Your formality is cute anyway~ Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, that's fine. Your formality is cute anyway~ Sheepy: Bedi: To be such a hopeless, sad man... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ooooh, I'm Tristan and I'm sad, ooohhh, give me your paypal account Sheepy: Bedi: He never paid off his loans with me...! Sheepy: Bedi: ...Right, I know, I will get a hamburger. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get two! All this made me hungry again! Sheepy: Bedi: Thinking of Tristan made me come to a decision... Sheepy: *a pink haired man rushes over, pursued by a blond. THE Denny* Arsé-kun: *One of them. One of them is The Denny. the other is an idiot* Sheepy: Pink: Hey hey! I'm your waiter! What do you want? Sheepy: Bedi: I want- Sheepy: Pink: Okay, okay! I believe in you! Go get the thing! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait a bit longer, you mongol! Sheepy: Pink: Eh? Arsé-kun: Merlin: At least let the man order first before Denny here gets your ass! Sheepy: Pink: Why? The kitchen is right there. If he goes in the kitchen, the food will be there. Sheepy: Dio: Y-you're a bodyguard! Why are you waiting on customers...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Because he's an idiot. Sup, Denny? You low on drunkards today? Sheepy: Dio: Yeah, unfortunately... I want a drink... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Then go get one. Or is our songplayer not here because he's guarding the booze? Sheepy: Dio: Yeah...'cuz apparently I can't drink booze so early in the day. Sheepy: Dio: Thus guy is supposed to be Orpheus's bodyguard but he keeps trying to wait on people. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So no more drawing dicks on him when he isn't looking?? Sheepy: Dio: Yeah, he got fed up with it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's fair. A tad disappointing, but fair. Sheepy: Pink: I'm earning two wages by bodyguarding and waiting! Sheepy: Dio: You're not doing either... Arsé-kun: *every denny's regular's favorite robot finally takes his spot on the stage! Orpheus is here!! And boy does he looks weary despite being an animatronic. That's what he is. Clearly.* Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi: It's the fursona. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... You know what? That's close enough.