#literally 5 seconds into the show and i’m like “’yeah i like this man’

[mattitties]

Boyfriend, pt 2 - matt sturniolo

you guys asked, so i delivered (hopefully)

part 1 here

I left the party last night feeling on top of the world. I recounted everything to my best friend the second Matt had left and she came back to me.

“I came back from the bathroom and saw you guys totally hitting it off, so I just stood back and watched. I thought he was about to bend you over the bar and fuck you right there,” she told me. 

It’s now the next morning and I’m trying to distract myself and not think about the fact that he hasn’t texted me yet. It’s only 10 AM, so I really shouldn’t be worried, but as someone who doesn’t talk to boys literally ever, I am naturally very worried. 

As the hours pass and it’s now 2 PM, I go into my roommate’s room. “Why hasn’t he texted me? Do you think he was just fucking with me? What if I didn’t give him the right number and he’s now texting some other hotter bitch instead of me? What if I was-” I start to ramble before she cuts me off.

“Oh my god, shut up! It’s been like 14 hours, chill out! He’s gonna text you, and if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. We don’t know anything about him, he could be sleeping still or he could be having a busy day. Take a Xanax or something, good gracious,” she tells me, finishing just as my phone vibrates.

I check it absentmindedly, fully expecting it to be my mom or a spam text, but instead I see an unknown number.

Hey it’s Matt, just wanted to see when your free to hang out?

I let out a shriek and show my roommate my screen.

“Fucking told you!” she says excitedly before her face changes. “Oh boy, he’s one of the fuckers who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re. You gotta fix that.”

“Oh for sure,” I say, starting to type in my phone.

hey :) i’m free tonight or tmr if either of those work

Tonight is good, I can pick you up around 6 and we can get dinner. How does Boa sound?

“Oh my god. He wants to take me to Boa,” I tell my roommate. I’m just about on the verge of vomiting everywhere.

“Oh fuck yeah! Mr. Moneybags over here!” she cheers.

that sounds great!

Sick, whats your addy so I know where to pick up my gf ;)

I give him my address, turn off my phone, and immediately go to my room to take an everything shower and get ready.

I’m finishing up my hair at 5:30 when I get another text: Leaving now, be there in 15 min. I made reservation for 6

I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I was so confident around him last night, but now I feel like a completely different person. I’m terrified I’m gonna be an awkward mess when I get in the car and he’s gonna wonder what happened to the girl he met last night and I won’t even be able to eat I’m so nervous and–

Nope, I’m not worrying anymore. It’s gonna be fine. I triple check everything to make sure I look good, and finally he texts that he’s here.

I grab my bag, go downstairs, and open the front door to our apartment complex, where I’m met with a very familiar face standing next to it. He’s wearing a black short sleeve collared shirt, blue jeans, and a black baseball cap he put on backwards. Man, he looks good as fuck. 

He looks up when he sees me and smiles. “Hi,” he says. “Car’s right there. I was going to come in but then I saw I had to be buzzed into the building and I didn’t know which apartment was yours, so…” It seems that his confidence from last night has lessened quite a bit as well, as now he’s just awkwardly rambling. I find it adorable.

I shake my head and smile. “You’re fine, this is perfect.” I follow his lead to his car, and am surprised when he opens the passenger door for me. “Thank you,” I say as I get in, and he shoots me another quick smile before closing the door and going to the driver’s side. 

“So Boa, huh? You really are trying to show off your YouTube bucks,” I joke.

“Me and my brothers go there a lot, it’s not really that expensive,” he says. 

“Speak for yourself! I was looking at the menu and almost had an aneurysm at the prices!”

He laughs and glances at me. “Well lucky for you, you’re not the one paying, are you?”

We continue our banter for a few minutes before there’s a lull in the conversation. “Do you wanna put some music on? Here’s the aux cord,” he tells me, pulling out a cord.

“Oh,” I say, immediately regretting all my life choices. I am historically NEVER on aux in any situation because my music taste is comprised of Taylor Swift, dad rock, and depressing music. “Um… you may not like my music. We can just play whatever you like.”

He looks at me wearing a tiny frown. “What! You’re the passenger, you get aux. Whatever you play will be fine.”

I sigh dramatically as I plug my phone in and queue Taylor. “Okay, but if you don’t like it, just remember I gave you a chance to say no.” He nods. I watch his face to gauge his reaction as “The Story of Us” starts to play, and I roll my lips into my mouth to hide my laughter when he recognizes the voice. 

“Yayyyy,” he says sarcastically. “I love Taylor Swift…”

The rest of the drive consists of me explaining to him that if he was willing to give her music a try, he would definitely enjoy her music. I was fully expecting him to laugh it off and come back with some smart ass comment about her as nearly every other man does, but he seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. “You’re right,” he told me. “Maybe we can listen together and you can show me more of her stuff!”

I think I fell in love right there.

When we arrive at Boa, the man nearly eats shit rushing around to open the passenger door for me, and walks slightly ahead of me to get the door for the restaurant. Neither of us have any ounce of the same flirty energy we had last night, but there’s no awkwardness at all. I still can’t believe this is happening. The hottest guy I’ve ever seen, he’s a perfect gentleman, we have so much in common, and he’s actually into me? It seems far too good to be true.

“So,” I say when we get seated, “what exactly made you feel the need to come up to me last night? Did I really look that uncomfortable?”

“Oh, you looked like you were about ready to sink into the floor. I mean, in all honesty, I was kind of eyeing you all night but I didn’t have the courage to come up to you, so I guess I sort of used that as an excuse to do something. Plus saving you from creepy guy and all,” he replies.

“Well, thank you, no matter what your reasoning was.” I look around the restaurant. I feel so out of place, it’s disgusting. I’ve only lived in LA for a couple months, so I still feel like I don’t belong, especially when I end up in the same restaurants that people get papped outside of. But somehow, even in a place like this, I feel oddly safe and at peace with a man that I met not even 24 hours prior. 

I’ve never been much of a great conversationalist; if I’m in a one on one conversation, the other person needs to be a rambler for it to not be awkward. But he’s not a rambler, and we both are just so invested in what the other person is saying that it’s somehow a never ending conversation. We have so much in common – our love for movies, Legos, journaling, us both attempting to get back into reading after going so long without it – I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. It’s so refreshing, and it’s terrifying. I know I’m going to fall for him fast. I may be already, but I can’t be. We just met. 

He pulls me out of my trance by repeating his question. “You ready to go?”

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry. Um, thanks for paying,” I smile as I get up. 

“Of course! What kind of a man would I be if I didn’t pay on our first date?” he jokes. 

“Ohhh, our first date? Does that imply there’ll be a second?” I ask as I get in the car.

“Would you like there to be a second?” 

“I mean I guess…” I smirk at him. We’re both looking at each other, smiling ever so slightly. I want nothing more than to kiss him right now, and I’m 99% sure he wants the same based on the way his eyes are shifting focus from my eyes to my lips. I’m about to lean in when –

“I should get you home.”

Oh. I nod. “Yeah… yeah, probably.” I sit back in my seat.

He turns on the car and Taylor Swift blasts through the speakers. “JESUS–” he yells, turning the volume down as we both start laughing. “I know I said you could show me her stuff but let’s take it down a notch, god damn!”

We don’t talk at all during the drive home, but it’s nice. Just the music in the background, and subtle glances between us every so often. When we pull up in front of my apartment complex, he parks the car and turns it off, then starts to get out.

“You don’t need to get out, it’s okay,” I tell him.

“Well I have to make sure you get into your apartment safe, don’t I?” Again, what a gentleman. I didn’t even think people like him existed anymore. I smile to myself and lead the way, taking him up to the 4th floor and down the hall to my door. “I guess this is where I leave you?” he asks.

“Unfortunately, this is where you leave me.” I’m looking up at him, he’s looking down at me. I can tell he wants to say something, and I hope it’s what I think it is.

He opens his mouth, takes a sharp inhale. “Can I kiss you?”

Bingo. I smile and nod, holding his jaw lightly in my hand. He takes my waist with one hand and the back of my head with the other, and our lips collide softly in a matter of seconds. I haven’t kissed many guys, but they’ve always felt just a little off and I never knew why. But this? This feels right. It’s gentle, but our tongues slip into each other's mouths as the kiss grows deeper. I know I need to stop this here, as much as I don’t want to. I give in for a few more seconds before I pull back. 

“I, um… I need to go inside,” I tell him, completely unable to wipe the smile off my face.

“Okay,” he says, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear. “I’ll text you, because yes, there definitely will be a second date.”

“Good.” I kiss him one last time before I unlock my door. “Goodnight, Matt.”

“Goodnight.”

———————————————————————

i probably won’t do a part 3 because idk how to keep it interesting from here but if you have other fic requests lmk and i’ll do my best 😚

[donttxtathebeach]

previous|next

masterlist

drewstarkey posted on their story!

❤️by y/n_williams

y/nwilliams posted on their story!

❤️ by halieybieber, sofiarichie, drewstarkey, and others

drewstarkey replied to your story

@drewstarkey I’m so sorry about that again

@y/n_williams don’t worry, Drew I promise it’s ok!!

❤️ by drewstarkey

y/n_williams

5M likes

❤️ by halieybieber, sofiarichie, drewstarkey, and others

I was a mermaid in my past life!!🐚🪸🧜🏽‍♀️

📸: @haileybieber

haileybieber You're stunning

❤️by y/n_williams

y/n_williams I LOVE YOU!!

sofiarichie I'm going to need you to ignore the words that appear under this.

sofiarichie FUCK DAMNIT I AM NO BETTER THAN A MAN. ALL FUCKING DAY THATS HOW LONG I WOULD GO FOR YOU Sofiarichie deleted this comment! User21, stop because she is so real for that drewstarkey Yeah, that is my reaction too. drewstarkey deleted this comment user23 who tf is @drewstarkey user14 i think he is that one guy from that new Netflix show user 33 yeah he plays a phsyco killer in obx user 14 Hes not Phsco; he is just misunderstood. user33 mia you need therapy

sofiarichie i want to get you pregnant

y/n_williams SOFIA PAUSE THE MOTHER FUCKING PHONE I SAW YOUR COMMENT sofiarichie yeah im not sorry for that

rosslynch Holy Hell

y/n_williams OH, MY God!

rosslynch i volunteer to be your price eric

drewstarkey HELL FUCKING NO drewstakey deleted this comment y/n_williams drewseph what the user 21 who is this man? user 5 idk but like y/n and ross sofiarichie i am not team ross haileybiber oh ok.....I am not team ross by bribery

maliah_williams you have always been my little mermaid

❤️by y/n_williams

haileybieber

4.2M likes

❤️ by y/n_williams, sofiarichie,justinbieber, and others

Life is better by the beach

@y/n_williams

@sofiarichie

sofiarichie i was told to be calm

sofiarichie you look like a ladybug in the first picture

halieybieber thanks?

user8 the way that they cannot take sofia seriously

y/n_williams She has been placed in timeout for her comments and has monitored screentime.

justinbieber damn the things...

y/n_williams NOOOO STAWPPP

user45 y/n is scared

user67 idk if i want to be jealous of her or of Justin, because damn

user56 i just drooled a little

sofiarichie same user56 nurse she's out again.

user24 sofia fighting for her life in these comments

sofiarichie i say one thing and i get banned y/n_williams 😐 Yeah, one thing sure, bud...

sofiarichie

4.5M Likes

❤️ by halieybieber, y/n_williams, elliotgrainge, and others

all by my lonesome

y/n_williams not even a pic credit

sofiarichie nope :)

y/n_williams dear sofia, i am sorry that i put you in timeout for the comment that you made. will you ever forgive me. i will grovel and beg. i love you so much.

y/n_williams wozza

y/n_williams im in love with you

y/n_williams marry mr. please i beg

halieybieber yeah im just going to let y/n do her thing

haileybieber slayy queen

sofiarichie 😚

user15 not y/n begging

user24 she is unreal

user55 oh my gosh, orange looks so good on you

❤️ by sofiarichi and y/n_williams sofiarichie thank you, baby user55 oh my gosh, i can die happy

elliotgrainge youre absolutely stunning

y/n_williams backkkkkk of the line mister user89 y/n does not like other people flirting with her girls y/n_williams That's my job.

drewstarkey

67k likes

liked by brooke_starkey, y/n_williams ,and others

back home for the week

madelyncline what are you doing in the second picture?

jonathandavisoffical king

austinnorth my brother

brooke_starkey im so glad youre back, even if it is only for a bit

❤️ by drewstarkey

y/n_williams was this before or after you landed on me?

drewstarkey i am never living that down starkeyboy no, you are not brooke_starkey YOU DID WHAT drewstarkey it is a long story user 55 Y/N What are you doing here? user24 she literally follows his whole family user59 im pretty sure they grew up together

mackayla_starkey big brother is home

drewstarkey love you, mack brooke_starkey So you can reply back to her but not me; I will remember this, Joseph.

abbie's corner

This one was not my favorite, tbh. I just finished writing a final paper, and I had this planned. was not executed well, but im trying my best.

[sweetiepoison]

Famous Baby (Social Media Blurb)

It all started with posts you added to your instagram story. Your fans immediately began flooding your dms with questions about why you’re in Toronto.

You of course have friends that live in the city but since speculation has begun about you and a certain NHL player, it’s hard to believe you’re there just visiting friends.

Some news outlets started reporting that you were in Toronto with Shawn, “rekindling” your relationship. They used the fact that you went to his show months before and pictures taken of the two of you at the Drew House party.

You post two more pictures to your insta story during the leafs game which had everyone going crazy.

Fan#1: (y/n) really said let me make it clear who my man is

Fan#2: No fr, the Matthews jersey in the second pic she posted like girl….you aren’t being subtle

Fan#3: (y/n) as a wag is what 2024 needed

-> Fan#4: Can you imagine being a wag for the leafs and now (y/f/n) (y/l/n) is also one and you get to hang out with her!

->Fan#5: She would be the ultimate wag!

Fan#6: Steph Marner posted a picture of the game to her insta story and she tagged (y/n)

->Fan#7: STOP! Mitch and Auston are best friends and now we’ll get (y/n) and Steph as best friends!

Fan#8: apparently some fans went up to her during the game and she was super sweet and took pictures

->Hater#1: people were saying she wasn’t wearing his jersey like that’s so unsupportive

->Fan#9: She doesn’t need to wear his jersey to be supportive like gtfo 😤

@yourusername: Lover girl 💙🤍

Load more comments….

Fan#1: I know ya’ll also saw Auston’s post 👀

->Fan#2: They aren’t even trying to hide it

->Fan#3: fr the matching captions, the hearts being the leafs colors…might as well just tell us

Fan#4: I’m so happy that she’s happy!

Fan#5: I know that tattooed arm!!

Mitchmarner: Just move here already

->yourusername: Can I stay at your place?

->Mitchmarner: yeah you can sleep between Steph and I

->stephmarner: she’s actually taking your spot in our bed 🤷‍♀️

-> yourusername: say less…bags are packed

Fan#6: NOOO!!! It should be you and Harry!! If you ever loved him you would get back together

->Fan#7: Can people move on and accept reality like it’s so weird

->Fan#8: I loved her and Harry, but obviously it wasn’t meant to be and we can’t bash her for moving on with her life

Yourbff#1: It’s giving soft launch

Youbff#2: It’s giving my man my man my man

->yourusername: You two will always be my #1’s no matter what ���

@AustonMatthews: Lover boy 😮‍💨

Load more comments…

Fan#1: Alexa play that should be me

->Fan#2: Idk who I want to be more Auston or (y/n)

->Fan#3: No bc you are so real for that

Fan#4: It has to be (y/n), she’s worn those sweats before during tour rehearsals

Fan#6: oh he’s down bad for her

->Morganrielly: horrendously bad

Mitchmarner: World’s biggest simp

->Fan#7: the confirmation we’re getting from all their friends in the comments is crazy 🤯

->Fan#8: no literally there was probably a pr meeting they were supposed to attend and obviously no one showed up 💀😭

Hater#1: this is gonna be terrible for his game, she’s just gonna be a distraction

->Fan#9: she literally has a whole life and career outside of him. Like she doesn’t even have the time to be a distraction

->Fan#10: she’s the best distraction to have

->Fan#11: tell me your a hater and desperate without telling me your a hater

Fan#12: Kinda random, but I love that their styles compliment each other

->Fan#13: I was thinking the same thing! I love the lowkey matching

Fan#14: I love that (y/n) was trying to be subtle and Auston was like “no I’m showing off my girl”

Fan#15: hand her back to @harrystyles

Multi-Grammy winning pop star, (y/f/n) (y/l/n) and NHL superstar, Auston Matthews have fans speculating (and fangirling) about a possible romance between the two. While we haven’t seen a picture of the two together, back and forth posts across social media platforms have fans suspecting there might be something more than friendship there.

It’s believed the two met through mutual friend, Justin Bieber. And while we don’t know exactly when it’s clear they started becoming closer at the beginning of this year, starting with the NHL all star games. (Y/n) attended the weekend in Toronto with friends to support Bieber who was a celebrity captain alongside Matthews.

The 7 Rings singer who has been on her world tour since the summer took a break before going overseas and seems to have spent a majority of that break in Toronto.

(Y/n) posted on her instagram story at a Toronto Maple Leafs game this past weekend as they took on the Edmonton Oilers at Scotiabank arena. One post in particular caught fans eyes. At first glance it’s simple enough, a glass of wine at the game, but fans focused on the fact that also featured in the picture was a fan in front of her with a Matthews jersey on, possible a tribute to her new relationship.

When asked about (y/l/n)’s attendance following his 2 point game, Mathew’s gave up very little info. “Yeah she decided to come to a game, but so did a few thousand other people.” Auston continued, “She’s an extremely popular celebrity who is insanely talented so I’m not surprised she received a lot of attention.”

He shut down further conversation about the pair’s relationship status by saying, “I’m not going to talk about my personal life. I know what you want me to say, but it’s not my place to speak for or about her without her permission.” When asked by another reporter if (y/l/n) reached out to him about his goals or the teams win he responded, “And that’s gonna wrap it up here” ending the press conference altogether.

Later in the week the two posted to Instagram within hours of each other and fans pointed out that many of the pictures are similar. (Y/n)’s post included a boat ride featuring the Toronto skyline. Auston was a little bit more bold as his post also included a boat ride with the Toronto skyline and kissing girl but her face can’t be seen. They also had similar captions with (y/n)’s being “lover girl” and Auston’s being “lover boy”.

While they are giving away very little, we along with the rest of the world are excited about this possibly new couple.

[masterrainbowcat]

you keep calling me stupid but on several occassions you have misunderstood what was being written, like most semi-literate weebs you reading comprehension is below par. this isn't about him 'insulting books', you moron. dora was calling other people stupid and uninformed saying that there are ENTIRE BOOKS that proved him right. when asked in a friendly manner by me and someone else which books he was referring to he just ignored us. when i pressed him he came out w/ ad hominem attacks instead of titles and authors. he "couldn't remember" as it had been 5 years already since he'd read them. THERE ARE NO SERIOUS BOOKS THAT CLAIM FASCISM IS A LEFTWING IDEOLOGY. look it up, fool. this is a guy who made several hours worth of videos on youtube whining about how people on tumblr should learn to think critically and that their opinions lack nuance while continually posting lies and reactionary shit takes. when called out on other things by other people the pattern repeats. "i'm more literate than you" he told the chatbot account, and "i've read marx". fucking lying poser. so, maybe now you can understand why i don't have any qualms about making him my lolcow. hope this wasn't too much text for you to process otaku, have fun jerking off to cartoon girls.

So for context, this gent has been harassing @yourtoradorasextendedwarranty for months now, and this is his explanation for why. I assumed it was something to do with Tora insulting books Babi liked, since Babi has thimble-dick opinions on other mediums, but somehow Babi wrote this whole thing and didn’t think for a second that it was more embarrassing than what I assumed. “An argument didn’t go well so I’m gonna be a schoolyard bully.” That’s how you know he’s a man of character.

The reason you wouldn’t have seen these exchanges is because Babi spends most of his time spamming replies so that people can’t make fun of him as easily. Of course, considering one of the few times Babi did reblog, he admitted he didn’t graduate high school and uses AI in arguments, I can see why he’d want to avoid embarrassing himself to whatever followers he has. I suspect he also has a side blog where he LARPs as a fact checker that uses AI to write posts, but I can’t verify that beyond Tora being a target of that blog as well.

Babi also has a hate boner for anime, which with previous evidence suggests he is perpetually stuck in high school. Though I did get a chuckle out of his ad hominem about me “jacking it to cartoon girls”. Yeah, THAT’S the vibe my blog gives off.

But anyway, this is a man who:

* happily admits to harassing people like a bully

* has a weird reverence for AI and is proud to use it

* hides in the replies and potentially side blogs because he lacks the confidence to have his material show on his blog most of the time

and yet:

* is desperate to convince people his ideology is the right, good, and smart one

It’s the epitome of a comedy of errors.

[olivia091108]

how to be a jackass Introduction

Word count:1.k

Tonight I’m going out with my sister and her boyfriend because apparently ‘I need to get a a life’ which I think is kinda rude but the only reason she’s saying that is because her and her boyfriend are thinking of moving out together but I don’t know anyone around town and she doesn’t think I’m responsible. She’s right

“Are you kidding me we need to leave in a half hour and your still in your pyjama’s chop chop”she claps her hands in my face.

She can get quite stressed when it comes to me I wasn’t the easiest to grow up with I was a bit of a hothead we both have a few stories from tell of our fights which she still has a scar form that she never shuts up about

“Alright calm down I have loads of time” I push myself off the sofa and just as I walk past her I barge her against the wall and quickly scurry to the bathroom and lock the door before she gets crazy.

I walk into my room with a towel wrapped round my body and one in my hair and flick the tv on just to have some noise in the background it was an alright show jackass that I would watch when I get back late and nothing else is on except teleshoping. I don’t have anything against it but they need to step it up cos I know give me 10 or 20 bucks I’ll do anything they do.

I find an old shirt from when I was like 15 or something and picked up some jeans that were laying on the floor before slipping on some shoes.

“See I’m ready in what 5 minutes you need to take some Xanax I swear”

“Your hair is literally dripping” I flip my head back and forth no doubt getting it on her. And walk down to her boyfriend Oliver who was gonna drive us.

Once we get their it’s already kicking off and walk towards the bar but some grown men are standing there ignoring me while I ask them to move so I manage to budge my way through them and get a rum and coke.

I start to sweat being surrounded by 15 people who clearly know nothing about personal space. I see my sister and Oliver talking to some dude and my sister starts pointing me out and calling me over.

Y/n come here so you know that show you love jackas-

Love? No I don’t love it I don’t even like it that much but what does that have to do with anything?

“Y/n”she says my name like my mum used to when I would break something she jerked her head to the man just standing there and at first I’m confused but then I realise who he is Oh shit

you don’t like the show sweetheart?the leader of the show asks

“I mean It’s alright but you could do better.” He laughs a bit at my words “oh yeah what then?”

“Nah I didn’t mean to be rud- no I’m serious what do you think”

“Do more nasty shit or more extreme stuff and more painful stunts all in saying is anything you lot do I could do if I knew I was getting paid or just for a laugh”

Ill buy you a drunk if you make out with that man at the bar he points to a fat man who is drenached with sweat and is missing a tooth at the bottom

“Easy.”

I walk over to him and straight up grab his face and kiss him slipping my tongue and feel him grab a handful of my ass and a few seconds later pull away and walk back over to Johnny using the bottom of my shirt to try and wipe my tongue

“Ok your’e turn Pants that biker playing pool” Johnny looks at him and he looks like he will smash his face in. He walks over there and waits till he has his back to him and as hard as he can yanks his jeans down with his boxers coming as well exposing his bare crack Johnny turns round and ores tends to be in a conversation with some random lady.

The man pulls Johnny to face him and holds him by the colour getting redder and redder. His friends start crowding him and they look like they’re gonna jump him so I walk over and tell him.

“Sir they ran into the bathroom he didn’t do it.”

He lets go of Johnny and storms towards the bathroom with his friends following hot on his heals. I burst out laughing making my eyes water.

“I was about to get my ass kicked”Johnny said joining in on your’e laugh.

The night progressed like this having a couple drinks doing some dares. I didn’t even know that Olivier and my sister left. Some of his fiends joined in.

Running along the bar naked then getting pushed off -Chris

I poured salt in my eye

Ehren getting pool balls thrown at him.

And obviously Steve o lit himself on fire spreading it onto my hair

And so on by the end we were all drunk as fuck and had been kicked out.

I wake up with a throbbing head ache and open my eyes but getting blinded by the lights once they adjust I’m in the bath but I don’t recognise it. I get out and try and find out where I am I hear voices so I walk towards it and then it clicks.

We got kicked out and went back to Steve os apartment carrying on the night everything else’s is a bit hazy right now.

I see all of them in the living room chatting and I also see Steve o wearing my shirt that is 4 sizes too small and some boxers.

Hey Steve o can I have my shirt back I groggily ask making them look towards me probably forgetting I was here.

Yeah dude. He takes it off and throws it at me and I take off the one in wearing and give it to him.I turn around and change

“Dude that bruise is gnarly” I look down at my hip bone and see it decorated with a purple bruise from when I tried to break the door down.

“Y/n you weren’t bullshitting last night we’re you? Johnny asks

“What about?”

“Well we were thinking you were right we gotta be more exciting and you seemed pretty into it would you wanna join.”

“No offence babe but Johnny she was drunk as shit she won’t do any of it sobre”

“Try me.”

Time skip

“Im y/n y/l/n and this is electric mouse trap.”

I stick out my tongue and let Chris clip it on to my tongue and immediately feel the electricity. I Jump around in pain trying to keep it in as long as I can to prove to them I can do it. I Shake my head and rip It off my tongue and It feels numb. I try to speak but all that’s coming out is jibberish and everyone including myslef laugh.

“Welcome to jackass y/n”

Guys I’m baaaack

This will be a slower burn series of bam x reader and jackass girl don’t know how often I will post but I’ve planned at least 3 chapters and I’m so excited message me any headcannons you wnat in this

Ik bam wasn’t in this but just you wait

My requests are still open

-liv

[chrisevansonly]

Extremely Proud (blurb)

pairing: harry styles x female reader

summary: slane castle was a show you’ll never forget and you have the tears to prove it

warnings: none<3

a/n: just a lil something cause slane was literally insane, im so proud of Harry, he was so happy last night and I just wanna sob🥹

It was almost hard to see through the tears that lined your eyes as you looked out across the crowds that filled Slane’s fields and the seats near the castle. This show was not only a huge accomplishment for Harry but it also had a a lot of historical significance, a show that truly would be remembered for a long time.

Fireworks going off around you as Harry gave his all to sign of the times as he usually did, your hand coming up to wipe your cheeks every so often, Lloyd being sure to capture a few pictures of you to send to Harry later on. There was still a little bit to go until the concert was over and you’d be rushed to the airport to get back to London for his four nights at Wembley Stadium, so when Harry had a 5 min water break and bathroom break he came straight for you

“Baby…you’re crying”

“H-Happy tears m’love”

He smiled pressing a quick kiss to your lips, his thumbs catching a few more tears

“I know you don’t have long, but this is insane Harry, I-I’ve never seen anything like this”

“Yeah it’s incredible isn’t it?”

He glanced out and really took the time to look out at everyone who’d come to see him perform. Going from a teenager on x-factor not really knowing where he would go to performing in front of almost 100 thousand people, it was a surreal experience; and you were with him too, which only made it more special for the two of you.

“I’m so proud of you baby, everyday, seeing you go out there, sing your heart out and dance all night is such a beautiful thing to get to witness and be apart of..”

Harry’s arms tightened around you as you soaked up the last minute you two had together

“You are so deserving of all of this, the venues, the people, the shows, the awards, i’ve never met someone who works as hard as you, who loves their fans, team and band as much as you do…you’ve come such a long way H and I’m so f-fucking proud of you.”

You could tell Harry was trying to remain as focused as he could, not wanting to shed any premature tears; the two of you could do that on the drive to the airport tonight

“I love you so much y/n, having you here to experience these moments and celebrate with me makes it all the world…you are my world, and I wouldn’t be the man I am today without you.”

You heard someone call a 30 second warning so you pulled him in for one more kiss, arms wrapping around his back after to hold him to you for a few more seconds

“I love you H, keep shining baby, i’ll be waiting”

“I love you more darling, see you soon”

Kissing your cheek he was back off towards the stage, the crowd erupting in cheers as he started to finish his set for the night. The moon starting to come up from behind the castle as you watched Harry dance and sing his way around, everything almost becoming quiet for you as you held your gaze on him. There was no one else on this planet that deserved the love and kindness Harry was shown day in and day out by those around him.

He made it. From that teenage boy that stood on a stage for a handful of people on xfactor to the man that now stood in front of thousands of people; people that were here for him, for your Harry…he had made it, and you couldn’t be prouder.

[gennyanydots]

Forced to go to the strip club

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x spitfire!wife

Part of the “Spitfire Universe”

Not necessary to read the other parts but helpful.

Summary: It’s Bob’s bachelor party and their babysitter cannot handle them. Reinforcements must be called in. Reinforcements are sleepy.

“Hello?” You say as you answer the phone sleepily. Who the fuck would be calling at this time? What time was it anyway? You went to bed way later than normal and you feel like you were pretty asleep so it’s got to at least be 2 in the morning or something.

“Is this Mrs. Hangman?” A male voice, that you don’t recognize, on the other line asks. You laugh at that. You didn’t realize when you married Jake you were actually gaining two new names instead of one. You were expecting Jake to be the one calling since his name came up on your phone when you looked for half a second before answering. Whoever this is must have gotten a hold of Jake’s phone somehow.

“Yes, this is she,” you say with a yawn.

“Hi, umm, this is Bob’s cousin. I was the designated babysitter tonight and umm I was told well uhhhh,” the man trails off, clearly trying to figure out how to describe whatever is happening to you.

“You were told what?” You ask. Tonight was Bob’s bachelor party. You figured that the squad would be getting into some sort of shenanigans, hence the need for a babysitter. You specifically didn’t ask any questions. You didn’t want to know. You also didn’t want to have to answer questions when you went out for the bachelorette party tomorrow night. So you knew literally nothing about what your husband and his friends were doing. Bob’s wife to be had come over along with Natasha and the three of you spent the evening watching trashy tv shows together while painting your nails and doing face masks to look your best for the tomorrow night. A girls night in before the girls night out. Plus, someone had to stay home with Eli and Radar. Jake’s on kids duty tomorrow.

The three of you ended up going to bed around midnight, way past your normal bedtime. Natasha passed out first on your couch before you lead Bob’s girl upstairs to the guest bedroom. Usually you try to go to bed at the same time as your son, you feel like you should have tonight since you knew he’d be up at 5 just like normal, only you would be the one getting up with him instead of Jake. You were not looking forward to that. Damn your husband for his early morning runs. You wish you would have taken Penny up on her offer to watch Eli tonight for you so you could have a stress free night in and a nice morning to sleep in tomorrow so you’re well rested for the fun.

“ Umm, you see, Bob told me earlier that if I uhh couldn’t umm,” the man trails off again. How long does this man expect this conversation to last? You have sleeping to do and you’re moving past being annoyed straight into being pissed off at this man.

You roll your eyes and huff, “Give the phone to Rooster.” You figure Bob’s cousin wouldn’t know who Bradley was if you used his real name. Bradley’s the easiest to distinguish from everyone else. Easy to spot.

“I don’t remember which one that is,” the man replies. Of course he didn’t. That would have been too easy for you.

You sigh, why did it have to be your husband doing something dumb, “Hawaiian shirt.”

“He’s drunk.” At a bachelor party? Shocking. You would have never guessed. You’re gonna lose it on this man. You really are.

“Yeah, I’m sure he is. He’ll at least tell me what’s going on without pussyfooting around so please hand the phone to the very tall man with a mustache wearing the obnoxious shirt before I start yelling at you and wake up my baby,” you say, very quickly losing your patience.

“Yes ma’am,” he says before you hear the background noise get louder until you hear Bradley say, “Why are you handing me a phone? I have my phone. It’s not mine!” to Bob’s cousin and then some mumbling.

Finally you hear Bradley say, “Hello?”

“Bradley,” you say.

“Hey! Hangman’s been talking about you! Hey Hangman! It’s your wife! Hi hangman’s wife. How are you? We miss you!” Bradley says, all a little too loudly.

You laugh, “Hi Bradley. I’m good. How are you? Miss you too.”

“I’m so good. I’m having so much fun. Not as much fun as your husband though.”

“How much fun is he having?” You ask.

“So much fun,” Bradley says laughing.

You roll your eyes, at least you’re getting farther than you had with Bob’s cousin. Bradley is at least answering you, “What’s he doing? Where are you guys?”

“He’s dancing on the stripper pole! Very badly. He’s bad at this. I’m sorry your husband can’t dance. I’ll teach him if you want. I’m surprised Coyote’s best friend is this bad at dancing,” Bradley says. You’re starting to hear a slur to his voice.

“It’s okay. He’s usually better when he’s not drunk like that,” you explain.

“He’s really, really drunk, me too, but he’s like bad really drunk. If he spins much more he’s gonna throw up. Gross. I don’t want to see that. We should have someone come get him,” Bradley says then you hear him gasp, “I should call his wife! She’ll come get him.”

You shake your head as you listen to him and wonder exactly how much alcohol is in his system, “I’ll come get him.”

“Oh my God did I call you with my mind?! I don’t remember calling you! I’m magic! I knew it!” Bradley says, excitedly.

“Sure Bradley, you’re magic. I need you to text me where you are so I can come get him, okay?” You ask.

“Okay. I gotta use my phone. This isn’t my phone. I don’t even know whose it is. The background is you and your son. Weird. That’s creepy. Honey, I think you have a stalker. I’ll protect you. Don’t worry. Nobody will get you or Eli on my watch. Uncle Rooster will protect you both!”

“My hero,” you say and yawn again. “Okay, Bradley take out your phone.”

You hear shuffling and then hear, “Okay. Done.”

“Good job. Now I need you to share your location with me.”

You hear a few taps then receive a notification from his phone then hear, “Boom! Crushed it!”

You laugh then smile, “Perfect. You did so good, Bradley. So proud. I’ll see you soon, okay? Don’t leave, none of you, until I get there. That poor man Bob put in charge did not sound like he had you all under control. Lord knows you’re all a handful and a half. Bye Bradley.”

“Bye bye!”

You hang up and stretch your arms over your head. This isn’t what you wanted to be doing. You wanted to sleep. You don’t want to go to a strip club to corral a group of drunk men, including your husband, and get them all to leave. This wasn’t your job. You weren’t on Dagger duty, and yet, here you were pulling on a pair of sweatpants and throwing on a sweatshirt to get in the car. Why wasn’t Pete babysitting? Unless he’s also there and drunk off his ass. Or maybe he’s sick of them after being with them all week and instead stayed home for some peace and quiet. Smart man.

You tiptoe into the guest bedroom and quickly but quietly wake the soon to be Mrs. Floyd to let her know what was happening. You couldn’t see well in the dark but you’re sure she rolled her eyes at the situation then held her hand out for the baby monitor. Thank goodness for friends who get it. You handed it to her with a quiet, “Thanks, I’ll be back soon! Hopefully.” before you quietly went down the stairs and slipped your feet into some flip flops.

You just grabbed your keys and wallet and stuck them in your hoodie pocket along with your phone. It felt weird not taking a diaper bag with you for once. You quietly went into your garage and open the door to get your car out. You really hope the noise doesn’t wake up Eli or Natasha who had still been snoring on the couch. You grab some water bottles from the garage fridge and toss them onto the front passenger seat as you get in your car and soon you’re on your way to the strip club. Thankfully it was only about 15 minutes from your house so it doesn’t take long for you to get there.

You park your car and climb out then head to the door. The bouncer looks at you funny but doesn’t question you as you hand him your ID. He checks it and hands it back as he tells you to have fun. You roll your eyes. Does it look like you’re there to have fun? You’re pretty sure your hair is a mess and you might even have pillow marks on your face still. If anything he probably thought you were some jealous wife coming down here in a blaze of fury but that’s not the case at all. You have no problem with strip clubs. You couldn’t care less that your husband is here. These women and some men potentially are just doing their job. Your only problem is you’re here when you want to be fast asleep. You’re pretty sure if the guys don’t immediately listen to you that the party is over that you’re going to have a full on temper tantrum. You’ve watched your toddler have enough of them so you’re basically an expert.

You look around and don’t find anyone who looks familiar. You spot a waitress and quickly walk over to her and ask where a bachelor party might be. She points you towards the VIP room and you thank her before heading in that direction.

There’s another bouncer in front of the door who stops you before you can enter and you just sigh, “Listen, you close in like a half an hour. It’s probably going to take me that long to round up all those guys in there and convince them it’s time to go home. Do you want to deal with their drunk asses and it take you three times as long for you to get them to listen or do you want me to do it and I’ll have them outta here in no time? Because if you want to then by all means go ahead. I’ll go back home and go back to sleep. My son is going to be up in like three hours. If you don’t want to then I’m gonna need you to let me through so I can collect them. I promise you I know them all. This is Robert Floyd’s bachelor party.”

The bouncer nods and holds the door open for you, “Yes ma’am. I apologize ma’am.”

You nod at him and walk in to a mess. There are guys everywhere. A couple you don’t know. One very scared looking man by the small bar. You assume that’s Bob’s cousin. You head over to the bartender, completely ignoring Bob’s cousin, and ask them to turn the room’s music off which they do as you stand on a chair you find. Once the musics off, immediately you hear a bunch of groans and hey’s and you roll your eyes. Whiny babies.

“Hey!” You yell to get their attention.

They all turn to look at you and you take the site in. Bob has a bra hanging from his neck and lipstick kisses on his cheek, you quickly take out your phone and snap a couple shots of that. Bradley’s Hawaiian shirt is inside out. Your husband is holding onto a stripper pole leaning backwards, couple pictures of that one too. Javy was getting a lap dance but the stripper stopped when you yelled, picture of that. Mickey was on Rueben’s back for some very odd reason, picture of that one. Logan and Billy were seated on a couch, double fisting some beers. And both Brigham and Neil have their heads down at the bar and you took a picture of that too. The men you don’t know were all scattered about amongst the others. You honestly expected worse but it didn’t sound like Bob’s cousin could handle anything worse.

When the men all see you there are excited shouts.

“Hangman! That’s your wife!”

“Baby!”

“Mom’s here!” (That one made you roll your eyes but you’re not surprised)

“Oh no! We got caught!”

“I know you!” (Yes Logan, you two have met many times.)

You shake your head at the lot of them.

You put a single finger to your lips until they all quiet down, “Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. We’re going to do this step by step.”

The men all nod at you. Good. You didn’t feel like dealing with any defiant little assholes.

“First! Whatever dollar bills you brought with you for tonight need to be given to the nice ladies who took their clothes off for you. And you’re going to thank them for their time. Bob give back the bra.”

Bob immediately blushed bright red and the men all proceeded to follow your directions, even making sure to thank them. One man walked up to you and held his money out and you shook your head, “Not me you dumbass.” You pointed him towards one of the strippers and sighed, these guys are going to have to make it up to you. You’re taking an extra long nap tomorrow and someone had been watch your son. You feel something around your waist and look down to see your husband has wrapped his arms around you.

“Good job, now number two, you’re going to all cash out at the bar. Get your cards back. We’re not leaving our credit cards here. Make sure you tip,” you say gesturing to the bar.

Jake reluctantly lets you go before following your directions. This step takes them all a while and you end up sitting down on the chair until the bartender gives you a thumbs up and Jake is back to standing as close to you as he possibly can.

You stand back up and your husband wraps his arms back around you, “Okay third step, look around you for trash. If there are cups take them to the bar-“

The bartender interrupts you, “We can handle that. Don’t worry. It’s our job.” You shoot him a glare and he immediately holds his hands up in surrender and says sorry.

“- Like I was saying, if there are cups take them to the bar. If there’s trash there’s a trash can in the corner. We aren’t leaving this place a mess.”

The men all get to work quickly and it doesn’t take long before everything is picked up and vaguely looking clean. To get Jake to listen this time you had to push him off you and point at some trash before he sighed and picked it up and threw it away then returned to his spot.

“Fourth step, make sure you have your wallet, phone, and keys and/or anything else you brought with you. Like a sweatshirt or a hat.”

Everyone immediately starts patting their pockets and nodding. You tap Jake’s shoulder to get him to let go then sit back down and turn to Bob’s cousin, “What was the plan for afterwards. Are they going somewhere? Is there a way to get them to wherever?”

Bob’s cousin shrugged, “We rented a limo to get here and I think the plan was to Uber back to wherever you were staying for the night.”

You shake your head at him, “You think or you know? You’re the worst babysitter. You should know the plan.”

Bob’s cousin hangs his head and apologizes.

You look around before finding Bob and quickly yell his name, gesturing for him to come over to you.

“Hi, Mzzz Hangman. Whass zup?” He says slurring this words.

“What are you doing after this?” You ask.

He scrunches his face for a minute or so before going, “Oh! Theresssa limo to take us to tha hotel and then we go to sleep and then brunch and then more sleep at homes.”

You laugh listening to him, “Thanks. Knew I could count on you.”

Bob beams at the praise.

You stand back up, once again Jake holds onto your legs, “Fifth step, nicely walk out to the limo and get in to go back to the hotel. Mr. Competent over here,” you point to Bob’s cousin, “Will give you further instructions when you accomplish that. I better get a good report for him or I’m gonna be mad at you all!”

That ones followed by most of the men saying a quick, “Yes ma’am.” before they started their journey to the parking lot.

You stop at the little bar and leave Bob’s phone number with them in case anything gets left behind.

You follow after the others and stop at the limo to make sure they’re all accounted for, which they are, except one. You look over at your car and see Jake leaning against it with his hands in his pockets.

You turn to Bob’s cousin, “Do not lose them. Have them drink water. Get them straight to their rooms. They should all pass out. I’m taking mine with me so you have one less. You’re lucky.” You turn to the others, “Be good! I want a good report saying you were on your best behavior!” You’re answered with a bunch of giggles as you pat the top of the limo and shut the door.

You unlock your car and watch Jake scramble into the passenger seat. You laugh and walk over, getting into the driver seat, “Did you think I wouldn’t let you come home?”

He shook his head and pouts, “I don’t wanna play with my friends anymore. I want my wife. I want to sleep in my own bed. I want my puppy. I want my baby.”

You laugh and lean over to kiss his cheek, “My poor, sweet husband, forced to go out and spend time with his friends. Didn’t have any fun. Definitely didn’t enjoy getting drunk and seeing mostly naked women.”

His mouth breaks out into a goofy grin, “That was nice but I would much rather see you mostly naked because then I could just make you the rest of the way naked.”

You laugh and shake your head, “Okay, let’s go home. If you want your baby so much you can get up with him.”

Jake perks up, “I can?! I miss him! We’re gonna play so much!”

“You say that now. When he wakes up in two and a half hours you’re going to be so sleepy,” you say as you start the car and start driving home.

Jake shrugs, “Worth it. I’m sleeping with the baby monitor. I’m getting up with my baby. I don’t care what sleepy Jake says. I promise I’m getting up.”

And surprisingly that’s exactly what sleepy Jake did in three hours when your son woke up. How nice of him to sleep in a half hour.

The bachelorette party

[soongyeopsal]

Like I Want You

Summary: Jihoon has one job on your wedding day, but he’s in denial and at the end of it all, he is simply a man.

▸ Pairing: Woozi x AFAB!reader ▸ Rating / Genre / AU: 18+ (MINORS DNI) / angst, smut, pwp / ex2l If you are a minor AND/OR if your account has no age, you will be blocked upon interacting with this post. ▸ Warnings: infidelity, unprotected sex, creampie

▸ Word Count: 2.2k

▸ A/N: I’ve had this little idea from the moment I heard Giveon’s song by the same name ages ago, so it feels great to finally get it out. Big FAT thank yous and kisses to @wooahaeproductions for beta-ing and @shuadotcom for banner-ing!!! Part 2(ish) with Seungcheol can be found here!: Imported

The gentle clack of Jihoon’s dress shoes echoes down the hallway of the grand hotel as he makes his way to your suite. Even though the sound is all around him, it feels tinny and distant compared to the whirlwind of thoughts occupying his mind. All he has to do is deliver your phone, be the courier to prolong his friend’s - your groom’s - viewing of you in your dress a while longer while he prepares separately with his groomsmen. This is supposed to be different. The roles should be reversed. He should be waiting to see you walk down the aisle to him. It’s been years now, but Jihoon would wait a million more if it meant that you’d be back in his arms where you’re meant to be. Maybe if he waits another few minutes the impossible will happen and you’ll call the whole thing off, citing that you need to follow your heart. Maybe your heart would lead you to Jihoon so his could stop trailing behind each of your steps, always just out of reach. 

Jihoon shakes his head, attempting to banish the thoughts as he stops in front of your door. Your time as a couple has long gone and all he has to do is deliver your stupid phone. 

His entire body leadens as he knocks on your door lightly, knuckles rapping knock-kno-knock in the tune that the two of you have shared forever, even after the two of you agreed to be better as friends. 

You answer the door, smiling warmly seeing Jihoon on the other side. He stops breathing. No amount of daydreaming could have prepared him for this. Seeing you with your hair down, perfectly framing your face with a gorgeous veil flipped up is almost enough for him to die happy. Almost. Your dress suits you in every way, a perfect representation of your taste and elegance that Jihoon has always admired. 

You look every bit like the one who got away and Jihoon swallows loudly. He thinks his eyes are going to mist before your voice pulls him back to the present. “Earth to Hoonie?” you laugh gently, leaning further out of the doorway and into his personal space. “Is that my phone?”

“O-oh. Yeah, you left this in the other suite last night. Delivery.” He ignores the way your screen lights up to show you and your beau as he hands the device to you. You hum appreciatively as you take it, stepping back to show off the rest of your conspicuously empty room. “Thank you. Why don’t come sit for a bit? I’m sure you could use a break from groomsman duty, right?” Jihoon’s rooted to the spot as he inspects the view behind you. With the way the sun is coming in through the windows, it looks like you’re literally glowing. He tries not to linger too long on how you’re growing more ethereal by the second. “Where’s your party?”

You grab his arm and pull him in; it’s almost like he’s on skates the way he glides into the room under your touch. “I told the girls I’d be down in a bit. Just need some alone time before I go play hostess for the next 5 hours. Champagne? It was complimentary.” You’ve already crossed the room to start pouring yourself a glass when Jihoon finally regains motor control in the foyer. He should be pouring a glass for you in your shared honeymoon suite tonight after your wedding. 

“Jihoon.” This time your tone is much more serious.

He swears he wants to be with you here, now - not in his head. “Sorry, Y/N. I was somewhere else.” 

You scoff and take a long sip from your flute. “Yeah, I can tell. What’s up?” Even as you sit at the table for two in the center of the room and pat the other chair for him to join you, Jihoon can’t shake the nagging thought that this should be your room with him. Jihoon takes a seat beside you and sighs. “Hmm, just nerves, I guess.”

“You’re nervous? About what? Want to trade?”

Considerate as always, you’d poured a glass of champagne for Jihoon even when he hadn’t answered. He’s grateful for it now, taking a long swig himself. “Just don’t want to mess up your big day. It’s all about you, y’know?” 

“Aw,” you coo, ribbing your friend in the side. Your smile at him is so beautiful that it hurts to look at. “You’re sweet, Hoonie. It’s about me and him, though. Besides, how could you possibly mess anything up? You just gotta stand up there and look nice.” There’s a pause as you gaze at Jihoon…approvingly. Maybe he imagined that? “You always look nice anyways.”

Determined in his quest to keep his feelings to himself, Jihoon opts to just repeat himself. “It’s all about you.” 

Even though he can’t bring himself to keep looking at you, he’s resolute in his words. As far as his brain and heart were concerned, everything has always been about you. No amount of redirection, one-night-stands, or blind dates seemed to change that. For Jihoon, there’s only you.

There is only your long-gone warmth in the morning, your voice reverberating in his skull throughout the day, and the ghost of your touch at night.

Or the ghost of your touch right now. Jihoon thinks he’s imagining it at first, the gentle press of your foot on his thigh. But when you graze a little too close to a bulge you used to be so familiar with, he knows it’s real. You’re studying him silently as you move, face neutral but eyes dark.

You don’t say anything else until your eyes lock with his. “Can it really be all about me for just a few minutes? I just need– Just a little before I–” 

It shows just how desperate Jihoon is that a half second of want from you is all it takes for him to chug the rest of his champagne and bolt to close the distance between your lips. He doesn’t taste the alcohol, only the flavor of you that he wishes he could bottle forever. 

Your hands are absolutely everywhere: carding through his locks, raking over his biceps through his suit jacket, jamming themselves between his ass cheeks and the chair in an attempt to squeeze handfuls of him into your palms. When you nearly choke him out trying to yank his tie loose, Jihoon finally grabs your wrists. 

His heart is pounding miles a minute and he’s never been so sure of what he wanted, but– “Are you sure about this?” Your voice is as sincere as the day you told Jihoon you loved him years ago. “I’m sure.”

It’s that (or maybe the suspiciously strong champagne) phrase that dissolves the last ounce of self control that Jihoon has. He lets go of your wrists in favor of standing you up and bending you over your chair. His pants and boxers are pooled at his thighs in record time, but it feels like it takes ages to finally bunch the train of your dress up above your ass, leaving your legs and thonged core exposed. 

Jihoon wants to make this last an eternity. He could last an eternity to make you happy. But he knows that, sadly, your time is limited. There won’t be another chance after this and if the two of you are caught you’ll have problems much worse than a little timing. 

Pressing his cock against your ass teasingly, Jihoon leans over your back to press his two fingers into your mouth. Even years after your last encounter, you’re rehearsed enough to know to soak them well, tongue gliding feverishly along the digits. 

He’ll admit that he lets you salivate on him a little longer than is necessary, but he’s already sacrificing your relationship - shouldn’t he be allowed a tiny concession?  When he does pull away and look down at your folds, he’s ready to pass away again. Your pussy is as puffy as he remembers, your lips nearly devouring your thong as your essence glistens even through the fabric. What he would give to bend down and taste from the source, but you both know that Jihoon is incapable of pulling away from your cunt once he starts, so instead he purses his lips to add his own spit to the mix instead. As his fingers move your drenched thong to the side and slide into you, you’re even tighter than he remembers. Your pussy is a vice both figuratively and literally, threatening to trap his fingers there forever. Just the thought of that pressure on his dick is dizzying, but your impatient whine reminds him that he doesn’t have to keep thinking about it - he can just take. 

Jihoon presses in and up, curling experimentally until your whine reverses into a gasp and you push back against him eagerly. “T-there,” you breathe and he commits that sound, the feeling of you tightening around him to memory. Who is he to deny you on your wedding day? He sets a steady, deep pace, working his fingers into your favorite spot again and again as you wraith beneath him. Your wetness is starting to drip past his fingers and down to his wrist, seemingly endless. 

Your voice pitches higher, shaky as you try to warn him of your impending orgasm. Not that he needs it - your pussy greedily clamps down, almost pushing his fingers out with the pressure. A once distant memory of you falling apart is rewriting itself in the present and Jihoon quickly pulls out, just barely dragging you back from the edge of orgasm. Before you can complain at the loss, however, Jihoon uses your own juices to lube himself up and slowly ease his cock into your waiting slit. Fireworks burst in his peripheral as he feels your grip again for the first time in an eternity and he has to stop moving completely when you envelope him fully to push back his own end. Jihoon sears the image of you, wedding dress hiked up and fat cunt swallowing him whole into every crease in his brain. Even if you’re not marrying him, this view, miraculously, isn’t a dream. Any semblance of guilt is completely masked by the sight, melody, and scent of you you you.

Then he thrusts in earnest. It’s incredible how you welcome his cock in hungrily just like in days past, yet it almost feels like he doesn’t fit. The drawn out moan you let out beneath him assures otherwise, of course. So Jihoon bullies his way in again. And again. And again. He’s been addicted to you for years and this relapse is even better than the first time. 

Something in the back of Jihoon’s mind says that you both need to be careful of sweating too much to avoid questions, but before he knows it, he’s pinballing you hard and fast between his dick and the back of the chair. He can feel the perspiration rolling down his temple, but it’s too late now. You’re so close, which means he’s so close. Honestly, the total time Jihoon has spent battering your pussy today is embarrassing, but in this context it’s perfect. He’s spilling into you before he can even signal that he’s on the edge and apologizes by fucking you through it, oversensitivity be damned. His reward is an absolutely pornographic screech as you climax around him. The delicious, almost painful pressure of your gummy walls constrict around him, milking every ounce of love and cum from his balls. If you saw heaven when you came, then he saw the very beginnings of the universe. 

Jihoon returns to his body when your manicured nails reach back to push him away from you gingerly so you can stand up straight. He stumbles back apologetically, immediately turning to look for tissues to clean you up. Your hand encircles his wrist before there’s any success there. “Jihoon.” You’re almost too quiet to hear at all, but maybe that’s because Jihoon’s many many thoughts about this situation are roaring in full force again. “Thank you. I won’t forget this. I hope you don’t either.”

There’s no scenario where Jihoon could ever forget what it’s like to be with you – he’s tried. “Of course not, Y/N.” Given the way your orbs search his own with a glint of hopefulness, he doesn’t know what else to say that isn’t a confession of undying love, so he settles for a phrase that he’d surely kick himself for later. “Thank you for everything.” 

As he pulls from your grasp to tuck himself back into his pants, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Your groom - his friend - is wondering where he is, no doubt. Your bridesmaids can’t be far behind. Jihoon turns his attention back to you as you wad up a now-used napkin, grimacing as you pull your thong back up. If your mind is swirling the same way his is, you don’t show it. Your signature soft smile is back upon your lips as if the two of you haven’t committed something beautiful heinous. “Guess you should go, huh?” 

No, Jihoon will never regret being with you. Not in the past and not today. If anything, he just needs to do something about the remorse that nags at him for spilling his seed into you, but not his heart. 

[vad-hander]

LET’S KEEP IT SECRET Pt.5

pairing: Jaehyun x reader x Yuta

others: SM Rookies, multiple SM and JYP idols

genre: series | idol!au | smut | angst | fluff | slow burn | unrequited love | friends to lovers (oops) | mutual pining | teenage to adults | idol!nct, idol!reader, teenage to adults (trainee days until today)

words: 7k

side note: as usual, I'll appreciate all your feedback and thoughts!

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6

Your hand raised immediately to cover your opened mouth. Fuck. Yuta’s outside. Yuta came here to see you. After months of silence, he shows up so randomly?! You were almost mad how unprepared you were for this meeting.

Like, not even mentally, your appearance was fucking awkward. You danced for the past 5 hours in a room with barely any venting system. You sweated so badly your hair now looked like you didn’t wash it for a week, you were procrastinating in your bed aka waiting for your turn in the shower - because with the number of people on the floor two bathrooms were just not it, you literally had to wait in a queue to shower - so you were in your training sweats and shirt. Ah, you panicked. Your hands automatically reached for your brush - at least you’d braid the mess on your head and not make it too obvious you were fresh out of practice. You roughly ran the brush through your hair, the silent room now filled with you ripping through your hair and awkwardly enough - attracting everyone’s attention to you. How the hell were you supposed to make yourself look presentable without people questioning why you’re acting that way? You braided your hair quickly, trying not to pay too much attention to the curious eyes. You are, at the end of the day, planning to be famous - you have to be used to people watching you, tho its not really the same, but it should be the same in your head in order for you to not flip out. You found your lip balm and hid it in the pocket to not put it on so openly and ran out of the room in pure silence only to return a second after. “I-, ahem, I’m going to the CU, does anyone need anything?“ 

“Yeah, no.“ Jiwon gave you a weird look, crossing eyes with Sieun. Well, okay. 

You didn’t have a second to think if you wanted to slow down or speed up or what you were going to say, you just ran out of the building without any thoughts. You just really wanted to see Yuta with your eyes. Just have him before you no matter how awkward this might be, just look at him. God, why did you not see him?! Your eyes ran across the entrance of the building one time and once again, because there wasn’t anyone. You walked off further into the street, turning the corner of the building, immediately meeting with Yuta’s eyes. You jumped in place and stopped. You weren’t sure if you should sprint off and hug him or let him take the lead. Yuta took a step towards you and you did so too automatically, meeting somewhere in-between. Yuta stared at you and his eyes were trying to drink in every feature on your face, while you were doing the same. You were trying to see if anything changed, if anything was different and it seemed like everything was not the same but at the same time he was just who you remembered him to be. It felt so weird, like some fever dream turn into live or more like a brimmed with romance k-drama moment where two leads finally meet each other after years of separation. The street lights and autumn breeze was adding up to the feeling. You blinked silently at the man like amoeba, not knowing what was the reason behind him coming here, what did he think of you and what you should be acting like in front of him now. What were you? Should you just ask him in the face? You seriously considered, since he watched you without saying a thing.

“I would say that I’m so happy you texted, but if I’m completely honest, I’m so confused at this point.“ you surprised Yuta by breaking the silence.

“Jaehyun told me you two were discussing… us?“ Ugh, he did? You recalled saying something to him along the lines of maybe you can ask him and tell me, but you didn’t expect him go out of his way and actually do it. One more UGH for Jeong Jaehyun. You were beyond conscious of what he might’ve said or discussed with Yuta. 

“That’s pretty exaggerated.“ You weren’t discussing your relationship, you literally cut him off in like two sentences and continued with your exchange of random things that happened in your life in the time being you avoided him. 

“Anyway.“ what was they sigh and the undertone of that word. Was he…pissed off? The tone of his voice was giving something between slight indifference and irritation. 

“Yes, anyway.“ You felt a little more worked up just from the look he gave you. That’s very much not how you imagined the reunion with your boyfriend, or more likely ex-boyfriend by now. “So Jaehyun is the only reason you reached out after months of silence?“ 

“Yes and no. He told me about seeing you and I realised that I would’ve liked it for myself too. To see you, talk to you and everything else.“ Everything else is what…? Touching, hugging, kissing and …? You needed elaboration on this uncertainty. 

“Okay.“ You gave him a nod, very much flabbergasted at the prospect of possibly kissing Yuta. 

“Do you hate me? For leaving you to hang on for this long?“ his eyes pierced through yours. “I reckoned you’ll need a lot of time to process the transfer and new life and new people and I tried to give you space to work everything out. My own debuted and other things got in the way. I took too long and then was just scared and awkward to reach out.“

“But I messaged you. You could’ve said literally anything back.“

“I’m sorry.“ He did sound full of remorse, you’d give him that.

“Well at least you had more than enough time to think everything through.“ You cackled, not able to hold yourself back from coming at him. 

“Right.“

“So… I guess you came here to give me the verdict?“

“I came here to tell you that I’ve been missing you so fucking bad. That I really badly want to talk to you and hug you again and kiss you again. I want to know everything that’s been happening to you recently. I texted you to see if you’d be able to forgive me for taking so long. So…will you forgive me? Are we still on the same page?“ He crushed the words at you like a cannon ball. They were things you wanted to hear, but somehow at the same time you were feeling uneasy at the confession. You had to tell him first thing that came into your mind otherwise the silence felt too deafening. Yuta gripped your palm as proof of what he felt.

“My company…. We have a very strict no dating policy. We’re not even allowed to have a simple crush. Literally anything relationship related is strictly prohibited.“

“You know that SM have all the same rules.“

“No-, like gawking over someone gets you to pack your bags and leave, Yuta.“

“Okay?“ He couldn’t understand where you led him, neither did you.

“And you’re a whole damn man, that comes to see me at night.“ 

“That’s why I didn’t come to the entrance where all those CCTV cams could see us.“

“Yeah.“ You gave him a nod but clearly didn’t acknowledge what he said properly, continuing on with what you were saying “Not even a year ago one of the guys at the company got his contract terminated because he was allegedly breaking the no dating rule. Our producer is very strict with those rules, he says it has to be at least 5 years before we should even think of dating. Otherwise we’re not dedicated enough.“ you paused because you would love to feel Yuta’s grip on your fingers. If he touched you, you would’ve stopped to crash these things at him.

“I see, you’re trying to refuse me.“ How would he make a conclusion like that when you didn’t even know yourself, what you were trying to do.

“No. I’m just stating facts. For you… to consider.“

“I have considered all those things. Nothing’s changed for me. I still find you very beautiful, I’m still deeply attracted to you.“ You felt a butterfly flop inside your chest. This was such a relief to hear - Yuta still wanted you. 

“Me too.“ You half whispered, you really didn’t want to admit something like that out loud where people could see and hear you. You suddenly felt a little conscious doing these things in front of your literal dorm, where you didn’t have friends, but a whole damn building of people that would happily sneak on you to free one more spot in the competition, but the man in front of you didn’t feel the same way. Yuta moved his foot a step forward, knocking it against your shoe. His fingers laced through yours once again in such electrifying movement you almost lost all your consciousness and leaned in to kiss him. Yuta pulled you towards him, taking a couple steps back from the lit up pavement, to the more dark and private space under a tree. 

“Fuck, I really missed even simply holding on to your fingers.“ Yuta sighed miserably. He squeezed your hands like he regretted every previous decision he made and you believed the boy that stood right in front of you. You believed because despite not making a lot of moves to reunite yourself, you longed and waited and held that little something you had between you close to your heart. You believed you were loving him, because you couldn’t say you knew for sure, you didn’t know much about love enough to state it. You loved your dad, because he was your parent, he took care of you, understood you, listened to you, helped you through hardships, took your side when everyone - or more accurately your mom - were against you. You loved Jaehyun, because he was the first person in your life that could understand you. With no mockery, jealousy or humiliation. He reached for the same goals and understood you completely. In addition to that, he knew how to make you smile, how to make you feel better, when you were down. He seemed to genuinely care for you and who you were, he cared for every little thing you told him or showed him. You loved him because his ways of being your friend helped you become a good one for him, or at least, you were hoping you were still in the process to become one. You loved him just because he was Jaehyun, your best friend, your first friend in SM and your first best friend in the whole wide world.

But Yuta… you felt like you loved him because when he kissed you that first time, your whole being flipped. You don’t remember how or why you existed before that. At first you were obviously, clearly very much shocked at the action. A) you were a baby back then, you didn’t really think of anything like that; b) you were scared of anything related to attraction to other people since something like that would clearly take a toll on your success and debut - and maybe it already did - and you just didn’t want to admit. You were loving Yuta in a completely different way - in a way what you considered a grown woman love a grown man. Not sure if the type together forever kind of love, but together for a long time type of way. You were feeling that heaviness of excitement in your chest now that Yuta was staring at you like that. Your feelings might’ve started to feel like nothing in the past weeks, because you were busy and alone and maybe a little hopeless, but him being here right now made it overwhelming. 

“Me too.“ You meowed in his hold. You weren’t able to talk properly, to stand your ground - no way at all. You were mushy in his hold, if he’d pull your hands down, you’d fold right before him in a second. 

“I still am very much in love with you.“ He leaned in and brushed his lips over your cheek. You felt heated in a nano-second, squeezing Yuta’s fingers tighter in your hold. You tried to free one of your hands to hug his waist, but his fingers felt like claws over yours.

“Me too.“ You whispered breathlessly as your mouth tried to find Yuta’s, lick into it even for the briefest moment and then do whatever the hell he would want to, but he moved away and you found it in yourself to talk. “I have to be honest. This company, it really can’t be compared to SM, everything is different and I’m scared. Of how this is going to go, I’m scared that someone is possibly watching us right now and I’m going to get kicked out tomorrow. I am so scared that following what my heart wants in love department will ruin what I want to have in my career. I fear that having a boyfriend is going to end things for me. Maybe for you too. We’re risking a lot. So much, Yuta.“ 

“It’s fine.“ Hm? What does he mean it’s fine…? “Just don’t tell them I’m your boyfriend, just a guy friend from way back. We won’t put a label on it for everyone to see. There’s Jaehyun and there’s me, no difference for everyone else. No one should care about what we’re doing in privacy, when being with each other. Who would care to find out that the difference between me and Jaehyun is that I’m desperately in love with you? Well, huh, wait.“ Yuta paused, smirked and raised an brow at you with his signature playful smile. “How does that make me any different from Jaehyun then?“ Yuta smarted quickly, full on beaming so proud of his own joke. You punched his shoulder playfully, finally being able to get away from his grip. Now that he made jokes about Jaehyun, it almost felt like nothing at all changed. 

-

“Congratulations, boo.“ Jaehyun shoved a bouquet in your face. You smiled, taking the flowers from his grip, giving them barely a glance as your hand turned them facing down. Your eyes darted from one corner to the other, not focusing on Jaehyun even for the slightest second. If you did though, you would’ve noticed how his smile turned downwards as his eyes soaked in your indifference. You were thankful that he came, you were so happy he came for you, but there was a main question that needed to be asked. 

“Where’s Yuta?“ You asked impatiently. Jaehyun’s eyes, that lit up upon your attention on him extinct as he heard your question.

“Don’t know.“ He had to clear his throat before replying. 

“Don’t you live together?“  You scrutinised Jaehyun, almost too accusatory for such a public instance. 

“I’m sorry.“ Jaehyun lowered his gaze to the ground, hitting your heart with a pang and maybe finally bringing you back to your senses. You smiled apologetically, almost poking his cheek at how terribly cute he looked with his head down, apologising for not knowing whereabouts of your not-boyfriend-boyfriend. You pressed Jaehyun’s bouquet to his chest and he jerked his head up in fear at first, relaxing as he saw your soft face expression. Did he think you were going to throw those flowers at him? You almost felt hurt that your best friend thought you were a bitch. 

“You have nothing to apologise for. You came to my graduation despite being a very busy boy.“ You murmured as softly as possible being surrounded by hundreds of other school graduates. Jaehyun showed you his dimples and you took a step forward, keeping the flowers to his chest. “You’re the very best, as usual.“ Jaehyun chuckled and tapped the top of your head.

“Don’t“ he beamed, pleased.

“And very sweet, you didn’t have to buy me peonies.“ You ogled properly the flowers, to not ogle over Jaehyun. His hand on the top of your hair felt like lava dripped down from where he touched you. It felt too hot, despite it being very early February. You found his hand with your free one, touching his palm with yours and making sure it wasn’t even hot, it was your body having thermoregulations issues. 

“You came to my graduation, I came to yours. That’s what best friends do, boo.“ Jaehyun wiggled your fingers in his hold, making you emotional. That’s what best friends do, then what the f is the boyfriend doing - not coming to one important thing in your life. 

“I think ‘boo’ has romantic under text, Jaehyun.“ you chuckled, processing what he called you. “Someone might overhear us and think we’re romantically involved.“ You chuckled at the thought, it seemed a little funny to you, when your eyes still searched for Yuta with peripheral vision. 

“It’s only romantic if you make it sound this way. I was envisioning boo like a ghost, because you’ve been more of a ghost in my life for the past half a year. You’ve been ghosting me, boo.“ He smirked as he smarted his last sentence, and you swallowed a chuckle, moving your head disapprovingly. You hugged him instead of an answer, squeezing the flowers between your bodies because you felt weird and thought it’d be a great shield from direct contact with his body. “Love you.“ Jaehyun whispered lowly above your ear, his arm squeezing your shoulders, the other one patting your back. “Not romantically, in case you’ve started to imagine things.“ He chuckled and you couldn’t stop yourself from pinching his side. 

“Shut up.“ You tried to wiggle out of the hug, Jaehyun’s fingers only gripping tighter onto your shoulder. “I love you, too.“

“I hope no one’s taking pics, huh.“ Jaehyun immediately let go of you, pulling back up the face mask on his face, as if the past 10 minutes weren’t enough to recognise him for whoever wanted to recognise him. 

“I’m here for Jungkook’s graduation.“ he pushed the flowers against your chest once again and took a very big step back. “I don’t even know you. Who are you, again?“ He squeezed his eyes like he couldn’t see you and you shrugged. He was talking at least two times louder, like he couldn’t hear you through the crowd and you needed to keep up with him. 

“Don’t know you either… are you sure you’re Jungkook’s friend? I don’t think he ever mentioned you.“ Your pointing finger made a zigzag in the air, like it could help you remember something. “Do you even see him?“ You smirked because Jaehyun have not stepped a foot away from you since the moment he arrived and it didn’t seem like he was trying to look for anyone else.

“Just lost him out of my sight.“ Jaehyun scratched his forehead like he tried to remember which direction his friend went.

“I see.“ You nodded, smiling because Jaehyun couldn’t keep his face straight. He shoved the flowers against your face to hide you from him.

“Oh! Jaehyunie!“ You heard an exclamation from behind.

“My princess!“ You jumped in place, quickly turning to find the source of that sound, finally training your eyes on the man that tried to crawl through all students and families. 

“Dad!“ You exclaimed and lost yourself in a hug. 

“Congratulations, I’m so proud of you.“ Your dad kissed both your cheeks, before one more bouquet appeared before your eyes. 

“Thank you.“ You smiled and kissed your fathers cheek in return.

“Come here, greet your mother.“ Your mom called for you, somehow her hand settled on Jaehyun’s wrist, the deadly grip making it impossible for him to disappear. You gave your mom a quick hug, and allowed her to kiss your cheek. “We should take a photo together. Jaehyun, take one for us.“

“Of course, ma’am.“ Jaehyun bowed like a well-trained puppy and showed you his dimples for encouragement. Your mum forced the face mask off his face somewhere in the process, you laughed.

“One, two, say kimchi.“ He pressed onto the cameras button and the sound of shutter let you know the photo was taken.

“Now with your mom only.“ Your father pressed you into your mothers side and forced you to smile, taking the camera out of Jaehyun’s grip. He stood there awkwardly, next to your dad like he was next in line for something. Another sound of shutter. “Now with me only.“ Your dad took the spot next to you and you tried to pose more enthusiastically than before. Click and the pic is done. Jaehyun blinked quietly, when it felt like a perfect que for him to exit the scene, your dad made it impossible “With Jaehyun now, too!“

“It’s fine.“ Your friend protested as he read confusion on your face. It wasn’t even confusion, you just wanted a picture with Yuta on your graduation day and you were not getting one and you were hurt. You would trade a photo with Jaehyun in a heartbeat to one with Yuta. You anyway had hundreds of pics with Jaehyun, it wouldn’t hurt if you had one less.

“No, come here, Jungkook’s friend.“ you gestured for him to get to you.

“Okay, princess.“ He mocked, making the tone of his voice funny trying to impersonate your dad. You rolled your eyes in fake annoyance, immediately being gagged by your own body when Jaehyun’s arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you into his side. Your head turned to see Jaehyun, because you were flabbergasted all of a sudden and needed to see if he felt any of that. Seemed like he didn’t, he cracked a smile, showing off his dimples, fingers of his free hand forming a V. Sound of shutter and there you have a picture of you staring up at Jaehyun. “One more!“ You shout before anyone could move from their place.

Jaehyun, thank god, moved his hand off your waist to drop it on top of your head and smiled once again. You smiled too, snugging an arm over his waist this time. 

“One, two, three, kimchi!“ Your dad announced loudly and you tickled Jaehyun’s side, forcing a chuckle out his throat. It sounded so unusually low you needed a second to process what that was, because he suddenly make your insides tremble with how low that sound was. You stole a quick glance at Jaehyun, seeing how that tickle made his whiskers appear, you prayed he’d have them visible in the photo too. 

You unglued yourself from your best friend when the two of you stood too close for too long. 

“Who’s Jungkook?“ Your mom wondered.

“Jaehyun’s friend that graduates today too.“ You stated the simple truth.

“Do you know him?“ What did she mean by that? Why did she care? Oh god.

“Jaehyun, do you want to join us for celebratory lunch? Of course, if only your schedule allows you to join us.“ Your dad slightly bowed like Jaehyun was some sort of serious politician, sportsman or at least a senior to him. 

“He’s a celebrity now! Of course he doesn’t have time to dine with us!“ Your mom waved off your father at the silly suggestion.

“No, no, mr and missis y/l/n, I would gladly join your lunch to celebrate graduation of your daughter.“ Jaehyun almost bowed 90 degrees in deepest reverence for your parents and you had to physically catch his shoulder mid way to stop him at least at 45 degrees.

“Ah! Jaehyunie! The tone of your voice, it’s so deep and charming! I can’t believe it, just last time I saw you it wasn’t like that“ Your mom hid her face in her hands in shock, she acted like a whole different person when it came to Jaehyun, you hated how she couldn’t do the same to Yuta, or you. You really didn’t want to remind her she saw him more than a year ago and that his voice has been this way for a little while.

“It just happened overnight.“ Jaehyun chuckled, his ears suddenly turning pink, as he walked in front of you with your parents. You wondered if you’d trail off the route, how quickly they’d notice you were gone.

-

“What is this?“ you felt a rush of warmth throughout your body, making your palm immediately sweaty in Yuta’s hold. You don’t know exactly why would you ask the question, when you could see very clearly for yourself the words above the entrance. Motel. And the door was graced with a piece of paper, that read hourly rates applicable. You felt warm rashes through your body every time you read those words and if you continued you most likely would’ve fell on the floor from high blood pressure. The door opened and you tore your hand from Yuta’s hold, hiding your face even more behind the mask and the cap you wore. You had another rash of sweat down your spine as you saw people walk down the stairs, both the man and the lady looked like they had sex just a minute ago, which honestly most likely wasn’t a mistake. It was an hourly motel, at the end of the day.

“A place, where you and I can be one on one with no fear of being seen, disturbed or whatever.“ Yuta found your hand once again and squeezed it.

“It’s an hourly motel.“ You said out loud and felt even more sweat form on your lower back. If Yuta wasn’t able to distinguish your feelings by your face that hid behind clothing, he should’ve definitely felt it in the tone of your voice. You almost lost balance on your two feet as another couple walked past you, this time inside the building and if it wasn’t for Yuta’s grip on you, you would’ve took off away right then and there. 

“Yes, it doesn’t matter. Does it? You and me together is the only thing that matters.“

“What if someone sees us?“ Your throat gave up on you as the thought gave you a whiplash. 

“Trust me, just trust me. Come on.“ Yuta moved your body in front of his, grabbing your face with his hands. Despite your endless will to trust him, you were having second hand thoughts on the idea. “Do you really want to leave? I promise you, I really tried to pick a good one. Coming in or leaving?“ Yuta asked concerned, now that he was able to see your eyes he could very clearly tell that you were concerned - well who wouldn’t - and tried to make you feel better. 

“Coming in.“ your voice sounded weaker than usual. Yuta smiled and kissed your face, where he’d guessed through the mask your mouth was and dragged you behind himself.

“Why are you not taking the mask off?“ Yuta glanced quickly at your unmoving body on the corner of the bed, before continuing with whatever he was doing in his backpack. The thing did seem packed to the brim and you were curious what Yuta had in there, before he brought you to the hourly motel. It did look nice inside, despite the room being small and obviously cheap - it was relatively fresh renovation and almost didn’t look like you rented this thing for 5 hours, though you couldn’t kill the thought of people coming in here to specifically have sex, and you couldn’t stop thinking on the number of people that had sex in this exact room and you couldn’t stop thinking how you most likely are going to end up doing the same thing and what’s even worse than that, you couldn’t stop thinking-

“What if there’s a hidden camera? Or worse… many cameras?“ You couldn’t even lift your hand to reveal your face to possibly hidden viewers in this room. 

“What?“ Yuta chuckled at your -ridiculous- suggestion, before swallowing and leaving his backpack alone to stand in front of you. The bed had tall legs, allowing Yuta to not bend too much to be on your level. His fingers squeezed your cheeks and forced the face mask down your face. “I wouldn’t bring you to some weird ass place with sperm sprayed all over the walls.“ Well, good, but still, you would’ve appreciated an actual hotel much more. “I heard good things about this place from my friends… well, because not everyone is Jeong Jaehyun with an apartment in Apgujeong.“ there was no emotion in the tone of his voice, he was just saying things he thought, but it stung so fucking badly how he always had to put Jaehyun in comparison. Even if his family home was in the most expensive district of Seoul, it didn’t mean Yuta was any poor coming here from Japan. He was poor because in the circumstance he was a foreigner with no home and was sent a certain amount by his parents, not because he didn’t have any money at home. It wasn’t about Jaehyun or this place or anything else at all. It was about you and Yuta, but somehow he wanted it to be about someone else too. “Anyway, my friends come here sometimes, it’s not too low class, at least these sheets are clean, okay? Once I have a better option, we won’t have to do it like that.“

“Okay.“ You gave Yuta an unnoticeable nod, his lips brushing the corner of your lips in reply. 

“There’s no hidden cam, don’t even think of such things. I wouldn’t bring you to a place like that nor would I risk my very real career for a fuck.“ Very real as if in what you were doing wasn’t that real? Or were you trying to read between the lines too much because you were in a very smitten mood. Almost in a mood where if you weren’t your usual mushy self when it came to Yuta you would’ve stood up and left. Because this was making you feel uncomfortable to an extent you can’t describe. “It’s your birthday, I just wanted us to be together. I have a surprise, close your eyes.“ Yuta smiled at you sweetly, like when he wanted you to do things he wanted and you didn’t. You gave him a smile too, because you were getting all grumpy and unfriendly because whatever this was didn’t meet with your expectations. You pecked his lips and closed your eyes with a smile on your lips that hurt a little, because you were trying really hard not to think of your last birthday, when Jaehyun invited you to that Apgujeong home and made you feel happy. 

You listened to Yuta’s shuffling, probably in that backpack of his, finally you felt his knees bump into yours as he got back in front of you and you felt his fingers wrap around yours. “You can open your eyes.“ And you did so on command, met with a view of Yuta in a birthday hat, throwing a spiral confetti in your face. “Happy birthday!“

“Thank you.“ You smiled, flinching as the thrown confetti almost hit your face. Yuta’s now free hand pushed your cap off your head, forcefully putting on a party cone that said birthday girl. You chuckled sincerely, helping Yuta with the elastic band over your chin. 

“I love you, birthday girl.“ you beamed because despite what you just thought and felt you loved him too. Yuta leaned in to you a little more making the ring on his necklace visible from his shirt, you didn’t even have a second to think, you just leaned in and kissed his mouth, because there was nothing else to do. The past year have been very tough on the both of you. You started it off badly with your transition and after that long break of not talking to each other you rebuild what you had in a very low-key manner. Too low-key even for your liking, you couldn’t imagine what Yuta felt like. You could quite possibly count on your fingers the number of times the two of you kissed, so kissing him like this felt a little unreal. Just your lips on Yuta’s, being able to move slowly, marking every bit of his mouth with love and need, to be in his arms and continue kissing him like that. You invited Yuta’s tongue in your mouth, as he moved it slowly against your closed lips. He finally grabbed onto your neck, allowing for you to slightly back up against his hold, because it was hard for you to hold your composure. You almost forgot how good of a kisser Yuta was - not that you had anyone to compare it to - your tongue licked against his and as your body leaned back against the mattress, Yuta chased your mouth, not wishing to break the kiss even for a moment, finding balance next to your shoulders. “You’re making it incredibly hard to focus on anything else, my love.“ Yuta found it in him to pull away for a moment, only to lean back in and kiss your cupids bow, pressing his nose against your cheek. 

“What were you planning to do, bringing me to an hourly motel?“ You chuckled, not even annoyed anymore, just curious because it did sound a little funny to you.

“We probably spent less than 24 hours together in a whole damn year since your last birthday. Doing anything together is fine. I mean it when I say I miss you.“ Yuta bit onto his lip, staring you down. “I haven’t seen you up close like this probably in a whole fucking year, and you’re my girlfriend. How ridiculous is that?“  

“I always think of that time we went to Japan and had a real nice date. That is the sweetest thing anyone ever did to me.“

“Me too, I always think about that night.“ Yuta’s lips kissed your jaw, as his body dropped on the bed next to you, unable to hold his bodyweight with his arms any longer. “When your first vacation comes, first thing we’re doing - a trip anywhere, just you and me.“

“Promise?“ Your heart chirped, that’s exactly a promise you needed from him.

“Yes, love, promise.“ Yuta cosied himself on the mattress, snaking both his hands to lay half of you on top of him. 

“What if our schedules don’t ever match up?“ You worried.

“I don’t think it’s possible for us to never match in schedules. Don’t worry, I’ll make it work for you.“ Yuta’s fingers trailed a line from your elbow to the shoulder. You had to swallow, because you really wanted to ask him why would he not make it work for your school graduation when Jaehyun did make it work. Jaehyun, who was a little busier with schedules than Yuta, you needed to be a blind fool to not notice how your friend had side gigs and Yuta didn’t. He had no excuse to not come, the thought been eating you up for months. You had to swallow it once again, because you didn’t want to fight, because maybe not saying a thing about it now, months after, was the best thing for you. Maybe Yuta couldn’t even remember by now, since he never brought it up himself.

-

You rolled your arms before your body, bouncing slightly on the floor to the beat, as the last beat approached, you counted in your head 1 and 2 and 3 and 4, and stood up gracefully with a turn in the ending pose. After a pause for not longer than 5 seconds you heard intensive clapping and even sounds of encouragement behind you. 5 people in front of you though kept their faces emotionless, but somehow it didn’t faze you anymore. They always tried to keep that mysterious aura, fear everyone to insecurity and plain panic, but if you worked hard they didn’t usually say a bad thing-or more likely you didn’t hear them say bad things to you and others-, well, you developed an ability of turning your brain off as soon as your bum met with the floor and you weren’t sure how things went for others. It’s been a year and you still didn’t make many friends in the company and at this point pretty much gave up and kept everyone as friendly acquaintance. At least they didn’t want to be mean in your face, fake friendliness you could bare with. Everyone clapped and cheered because it’d paint them as supportive friends and good people - more points when it comes to evaluations. You knew the rule and followed it yourself, this clearly wasn’t the place to be not like other girls, but it didn’t change anything.

You bent a little and caught your breath in two heavy breathes, straining your back back at the evaluation committee. 

“Good.“ Your choreographer nodded to fellow evaluators. “Questions, notes, grades?“ 

“Could you share with us why you chose the choreography and the song?“ Mr.Lee, the creative director asks you.

“Theme of this month is hip-hop, we had guest choreographers this month that helped us improve our hip-hop skills. I wanted to do something fresh and relevant, something that would allow for you to see my improvement, but wouldn’t be a copy-paste of things we did in class. Seemed like a perfect choice.“ You noticed a slight nod in the oratory teachers’ head, you breathed in satisfied - you definitely checked off a box in her list. 

“Wasn’t the song released on Wednesday? You learned it in one day?“ your choreographer continued with the questions, only to be interrupted by JYP himself.

“You didn’t prepare for the evaluation well? Choosing a song so new is very irresponsible.“ The song was released just a day ago, they were right, but you did prepare for the evaluation thoroughly. You’ve been learning this choreo whenever you had an opportunity to see or hear Yuta, whenever the two of you face timed or very rarely talked in person. You would’ve told them the truth if it didn’t borne more questions and awkward stares. Your only option was to claim you were able to learn it in one glance.  

“No, I was preparing GOT7’s Never Ever, but heard the NCT song yesterday and thought how it clearly fits the hip-hop theme better. Changed my choice last minute.“ Yes, you somehow had the crazy idea of doing Cherry Bomb for the monthly evaluation in a day after it was released. You hoped it was believable you were able to learn the dance in a day. They looked at you for a few seconds and you didn’t understand the meaning behind the stare. “I believe I was able to show my own colour while following the choreography flawlessly and be on theme.“ You stated confidently, they tried to push you into insecurity - it was their way of doing things, one of already debuted artists at the company shared the life hack. Stand your ground and talk confidently - they’ll accept any answer as long as they don’t see you flinch at persistence. 

“If you learned the choreo that flawlessly in a day it’s impressive.“ Your choreographer smiled at you in a very low-key manner and you bowed, to show your gratitude and hide traces of a smile you swallowed.

“Did you learn the whole dance or just the dance break?“ Your eyes darted back at JYP that seemed curious. 

You knew by heart the whole thing through Yuta’s part. The only reason you chose the dance break hid behind the fact that somehow NCT had the most embarrassing dance moves throughout the song and doing all those jumps and weird hand movements in front of all these people on your own would’ve killed you. For real. The dance break plus last chorus including that part where you had to drop on your back for the ending point was the perfect fit for the 60 seconds you were given to perform. 

“I learned most of the song, but I enjoyed the dance break and chorus the most, thus decided to show that part.“

“Okay, I have nothing to add. If you’re ready, we can get to singing.“ you nodded and took a step to the mark on the floor. 

You had a tingling sensation of nervousness at the back of your neck. It was always advised to not take long to start off, otherwise you could possibly be asked to step away as unprofessional. You took a breath and made a sound with your throat. 

“Ah, I heard you took first place in your evaluation group.“ Yeji smiled at you, you gave her a barely noticeable nod as you and a bunch of other people left the elevator. “Cool, that means we’re training in the same group for the upcoming month.“ You stopped midway as you were pulling your mask up, almost automatic move as you were leaving the building. 

“You placed first?“ You exclaimed, your voice resonating probably through the whole hall. She gave you an excited nod, and you felt so happy for her. She worked so hard to beat everyone this time and you jumped excitedly, squeezing the girl in front of you excitedly. She clearly was taken aback for a moment, hence the two of you never hugged or had much physical contact in the past year, but you felt happy for her and maybe felt like it was the time to break the wall. You let go of Yeji, grabbing her wrists next and jumping excitedly, making the girl hyped up and jump with you. “Yay! Yeji, I’m so proud of you.“ Your fingers squeezed the life out of her wrists. “They want us to do duet for this month, to see how well we work in smaller teams.“

“Really? I haven’t heard of this months’ theme yet. If you don’t have a partner yet, it’d be such an honour for me to pair up with you.“

“Stop! It’s no honour and I would love to work on something with you.“

“Yay!“ She clapped and her pretty eyes and smile made you so happy. You genuinely felt happy for her, you genuinely felt proud. You felt a little flare up in your chest that you didn’t want it to ignite too much, but the thought crossed your mind anyway. If only we could debut together. 

[slutisnotabadword]

I decided that I’mma take a big step back from the 911 fandom, because if last episode has taught me anything is that you guys have forgot to enjoy the show you’re watching.

As soon as the episode is over, all I’m seeing is unnecessary Tommy hate, people giving up on Buddie and people criticizing people for giving up, people saying Karen is oc, and that Eddie was acting out of character, and blah blah blah, and like all of you are wrong LMAO.

I think the problem is that everyone is watching this show with the expectation of watching the entire’s show’s future in one episode. Y’all want everything now, and it’s just not gonna happen like that, and on top of that, y’all want everything to be what y’all expected. So, let me crush that shit for you.

NO, they’re not gonna bring up Tommy’s past. They actually don’t give a fuck about what that man did, and you know why? Because the producers of whoever on this show literally called up Lou and was like “Hey, we need someone to be Buck’s boyfriend, wanna do it?” And that mf was like “Yeah, sure why not.” That’s most likely what happened. You know why? Because Tommy is only gonna be here for a very short time, so who gives a flying fuck. And Tommy in episode 5 wasn’t even that damn bad. Eddie acted the same way in the other cursed episode years ago. The only difference I would say about them is that Eddie expects Buck to believe in curses because he known him longer, so now it’s more endearing and induces playful banter. And with Tommy, this relationship with Buck is more new and his irritation comes from a place of genuine annoyance, instead of more endearing like Eddie. That’s it! That does not mean that Tommy is the devil’s incarnate, calm down.

NO, Eddie isn’t going to bust out the rainbow flag and touch nipples with Buck in one episode. ESPECIALLY now. Look, I want Buddie to happen, more than the next person. But this is Eddie Diaz we’re talking about. Eddie has a lot of shit to work through, and I’ll be honest with you, we probably won’t see Buddie become official until around the end of season 8. It’s the hard truth, but take comfort in knowing that this is indeed Eddie’s season—hence, the plethora of photo shoots and spotlight this man had recently.

NO, the characters weren’t oc. Karen had the right to be upset that Hen was always missing out on their family’s big moments, and from the fact that Hen doesn’t really try her hardest to take off of work. In my opinion, I think that’s a great way to open up the topic of the 118 becoming everything for these characters—like Hen, Bobby, Buck, Eddie, Chim—that they would forget that they have family at home, because the 118 is also their family, as well. no i mean, is that so hard to consider? They work these 24 hour shifts, and even sometimes longer and go through these traumatic events all the time. Of course there’s going to be some intense loyalty and bonds that would seem to “overshadow” what they have at home. That is actually a very interesting plot direction the writers could explore.

I could go on and on about the wild takes in the 911 fandom, because there’s just so many that I didn’t realize before. But can we all please, genuinely, shut the fuck up. Like for two seconds and enjoy our show. Because let me tell you what’s happening, you guys are theorizing yourselves TO DEATH. You guys are creating these wild expectations and you are setting yourselves up for disappointment. It’s good to hope for the things you want and sometimes it’s fun to theorize, but TAKE A BREATH. Because we are starting to look like crazy people, and let me remind you that these people SEE THE SHIT YOU’RE SAYING. You don’t think Oliver, Kenny, whoever the fuck is watching you rant on and on about how Tommy is a bastard and complaining that Eddie’s not gay yet. Get y’all shit together because it’s starting to look embarrassing and WEIRD.

[im-out-of-it]

I just have some thoughts since I’ve watched the first three episodes now. some things I’m glad the show did and also the things that irritated the fuck out of me so let’s go 👏🏼

1. aging the characters up. I think this is smart to do and there’s more you can do with the rest of them if they’re in their early twenties instead of being teenagers. sorry not sorry but I’m not interested in seeing teenagers being chased by grown adults

2. Clary is still beyond annoying. I know she’s traumatized by losing her mom and not understanding this new world but literally coming in “I don’t care about the clave, about your rules, I just want to find my mom.” yeah ok we get that but there are still rules that need to be followed. you’re out here almost getting people killed and it’s all in the name of your mom. and I’m not saying the clave is trustworthy because they’re massive dicks but you can’t go around running and doing whatever you want lmao

3. please give Alec a raise or a year vacation. the amount of shit he deals with having to be jaces parabatai is too much. honestly, Alec deserves better. Jace takes advantage of Alec and I would have loved to see Alec have another parabatai, one that cares for him. I know you can only have one BUT CUT THE FUCKING CORD PLEASE

4. Magnus is fucking perfection

5. Izzy is perfection too 🔥 I do not blame Simon losing his tongue over her. my bisexual mind was like OOOOO ALEC NO MAGNUS NO IZZY NO RAPHAEL NO MAIA!!!!!!! NO ALL OF THEM

6. Clary and Jace are very cringe and I’m not sure if that’s on the acting or the writing but it makes it hard to believe they’re “in love.” I felt more connection with Alec and Magnus meeting for a second than I did with jace and clary in three episodes. even Alec and jace have a bit more chemistry than he does with clary. and that is something I DO NOT ship

Jace: I would die for you

Clary: but jace we just met

Jace: I don’t care if I throw all my friends and family away clary. we’re destined to be together

7. superb acting from Matthew Daddario. he’s absolutely wonderful and he really captured Alec’s angst in my opinion. you can see why he’s on guard not only because he likes jace (ew my man Alec WHY) and because he’s worried about the safety of his people. I feel like Matt captures the emotion without saying a thing so well. as does Harry. I think they’re both great at this

8. “This would be bad for clary.”- (talking about the cup and valentine) Simon “it would be bad for all of us”-Izzy. of course in Simon and clary world, everything is all about clary. I get simon is worried about his bff but this affects EVERYONE

9. if Simon was my bff and someone as jace talked to my friend that way, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. she doesn’t really say much, she’s all like “we’re a package deal.” honestly clary and jace belong together because they both take advantage of their friends. they’re both so self centered so let them run away as far as possible together

10. Alec is big sad now but you will have better, just you wait. also want to add, I enjoy season one for the build up Alec and Magnus but man do I hate Alec pinning after jace 🤢 but if there isn’t any incest, it’s not a proper CC story

11. Im just here for the Malec content. stuff that show did well: Alec and Izzy’s sibling relationship. I love these two so much. Clary actually being nice to izzy and being her friend, and not being mean to her cause she’s jealous. Magnus’s whole attire. I love this bi king so much. I love magnus, I love his sass, his makeup, his clothes. I LOVE HIM. I wish they would’ve changed his hair and makeup more in the last two seasons. kinda feel like they thought oh he has mascara on, that’s good enough. that pink hair is truly one of my favorite Magnus looks.

12. last thing to add that I like what the show did. I love that Alec actually knows how to fight. it never made sense in the books that he’s never killed a demon, especially since he’s a Lightwood. never made sense to me. I’m glad they allowed in the show for Alec to actually be able to fight 🏹

that is all for now until I watch actually one of the best episodes of season one. Magnus and Alec meeting 🥰

[solarsturniolo]

Part 2 of frat boy from hell

@matts-myloverboy this is for u 🤍

1. very egotistical for someone that is not conventionally attractive

2. lied to me about his body count??? for whatever reason??

3. he lowkey looks like the dream man (yall i wish i was joking, my friend and i did a side by side comparison and the resemblance is…)

4. he’s not funny

5. he’d cancel plans so many times, it drove me up the fucking wall

6. he begged to see my ass tat for about a month because i got it out of spite when i cut him off the first time (i always do something to make myself hotter after men disappoint me).

7. i hadn’t spoken to him in a month and he broke no contact with me WHILE I WAS AT A CONCERT. he proceeded to text me the entire last half of the concert.

8. the same night, he added my friend (that i went to the concert with) on snapchat and tried to slide into her dm’s (it failed because nobody finds him attractive but me 😭)

9. he doesn’t look the same in any picture, so i’m convinced he’s a skinwalker

10. i got a guy’s snap at the bar one night and he confronted me about it the next time we hung out. (“so you’re just giving out your snap to guys at the bar huh? i mean i wasn’t going around doing that 🙄”)

11. i told yall he follows me and watches me at the bar, but guys it’s like BAD lmao. If i go upstairs, he goes upstairs. If i go downstairs, he’s there five minutes later watching me. He sat at the bar watching me sing every bar to WAP with my friend on Halloween. Every single second he was watching me.

12. His halloween costume was Napoleon Dynamite (it was literally just a vote for pedro shirt) (he knows how much i despise people who put 0 effort into a halloween costume)

13. said he wanted to try lsd…

14. left me sitting by myself for two hours while he played beer pong

15. he does this weird thing with his arm when he plays pong, it’s like some weird crane thing and idk it’s cringe and weird

16. asked me for a nip slip pic while he was in an airport 😀

17. asked me for nudes while i was on a trip with my friend because “i’ve missed that body”

18. calls me mommy (not a red flag, i just wanted to include it)

19. it took him until almost 3:00 to say happy birthday to me on my birthday

20. he got a ticket for buying alcohol with a fake

21. his grammar is god awful and it makes me want to punch him

22. he sexualized billie eilish as if i wouldn’t defend her with my life

23. he eats like a pig

24. i have never seen this man drink water (unless it was MY water that I ASKED FOR after sex)

25. his nut tastes like straight battery acid

26. he’d beg me for back scratches and head scratches

27. he refuses to buy new socks??? his have holes in them and are falling apart at the seams????

28. one of his roommates drives me up the fucking wall, i hate him so much lmfao

29. he’s so rude to the pledges??? yeah i get they’re still in the hazing faze and such but he literally forced one of them to make his bed and clean his room WHILE I WAS RIGHT THERE and told him to compliment me and blah blah blah i was like DAWG THIS IS A HUMAN BEING BE NICE TO HIM????

30. he’d stalk my stories for the longest time

31. he wanted to take my super cool Friday the 13th hockey jersey??? (“can i borrow it? and by borrow it i mean keep it?”)

32. i got a really bad leg cramp in his bed one night and told him to get up so i could stand up and stretch it out. He would not move and told me he could give me a massage but that i’d need to take my pants and underwear off????

33. he thought i wouldn’t find out that he got with a girl with an std. he tried to kiss me and i pushed him away. “woah…why’d i lowkey get rejected?”

34. that same night he asked if i had been talking to any other guys. I said no. I asked if he had been talking to any other girls. He lied and said no. I showed him the screenshotted receipts i had that said otherwise.

35. I made him get tested. When i asked if he got the results back he said “No, but visual results are in the clear.”

36. he tried to hit my cart without me offering and without asking??? hello, that’s not yours?????

37. Maybe this is tmi? but he’d finger me so hard that i would bleed every time…like blood would be EVERYWHERE. It didn’t even feel good either

38. the d was alright. it was better when i got to be on top

39. one time in missionary he rolled his eyes and it looked like that tiktok trend guys used to do where they’d tap the side of their forehead and roll their eyes. I got the ick and had to change positions into doggy so i wouldn’t have to look at him again

40. he said i love you while he was balls deep in me and i was just like 😀 oh

41. his tinder profile was…scary…

42. he bragged that he could make me cum 5 times with just his mouth. (he didn’t make me cum once in the many times we hooked up)

43. Oh my god this shit pissed me tf off. He and his frat brothers brought their dog to a frat party. The dog was two months old, drenched from the rain, TERRIFIED because he was being cornered by 40 drunk girls, and the fucking idiots managed to LOSE HIM. I straight up told him we weren’t fucking until they found out where the dog was and got him safely home.

44. he saw guys flirting with me at the bar and went up to interrupt these guys and start talking to them???? for no reason??? i was like wtf is going on???

45. the first movie he chose to pick for us to watch together was about a girl being kidnapped, raped, and sold into sex slavery??????

46. he has a horrible taste in movies and thinks he’s hot shit because he likes the wolf of wall street. (spoiler alert, EVERYONE LIKES THE WOLF OF WALL STREET)

47. the first date i went on with him was a double date. I was so disinterested that i almost got up and left because he was ignoring me to have a 30 minute conversation with the frat president IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME. RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME.

48. he’d invite me over and tell me to just come in whenever i’d get there. I’m stubborn and old fashioned, so i’d wait in my car until he’d come wandering out looking for me lol

49. his frat got rejected by the school. they can’t throw any parties or events on campus lmfao

50. he says the n word

Anywayssssss 😀

[putaposyinyourhair]

Slowly but Also Like All at Once

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

noah diaz x mirage (aka the literal personification of ‘wait, did you just flirt with me?’ and ‘have been for the past year but thanks for noticing’)

warnings : mirage isn't exactly himself but it's only temporary and also more f bombs dropped

oh shit here comes reek

“Could you— can you transform into, like, a Civic hatchback or somethin’?” Noah inquires quietly after having to clear his throat a bit awkwardly— probably because he’d spent pretty much the entire ride back to Brooklyn in stunned silence, still mulling over Optimus’ request. “Y’know, before we roll into the neighborhood?”

There’s a beat of silence. And Noah wonders if he’s said something wrong.

“I know you did not just ask me to do that,” Mirage snorts then, in a clearly offended tone. Because apparently, Honda Civics are beneath him.

Noah scowls heavily down at the radio.

“Oh, my bad, your highness—” he begins to apologize sarcastically, only to be cut off by the mech.

“You’re not forgiven,” Mirage points out snobbishly.

Noah lets out a frustrated groan, fingers curling inward around his box of electronics— which he’d pulled into his lap earlier amidst the silence, as something to busy himself with, checking if everything was as promised; not crushed— and one of his fingers pokes a hole straight through the worn down cardboard.

“Look,” he sighs. “It’s broad daylight out. My man, Reek, he’s always out front and he’s gonna recognize you in a second flat. Plus, everybody and they mama knows I’m way too fuckin’ broke to be crusin’ ‘round in a Porsche, bro. Come on.”

Mirage’s radio emits a droning buzz, followed by an annoyed groan just as the Porsche begins to slow and pull over.

“The things I do for you,” Mirage snaps. “They’re not natural. It should be studied.”

He pops the driver side door open.

“Out.”

Noah’s brows furrow, confused, but nevertheless he does as he’s told and climbs out with his box still in hand. He rounds the Porsche and steps onto the sidewalk, chuckling awkwardly under his breath as a few pedestrians glance his way when the silver and blue vehicle burns rubber and sends up a puff of smoke as Mirage peels away from the curb.

Noah feels kind of abandoned for a moment.

His chest does that stupid twisty thing that he’d thought it had finally decided to stop doing. He wonders for a moment if he should’ve sucked it up and just not said anything.

But then the loud sound of an engine revving calls his attention and Noah’s jaw drops when a silver Volkswagen Corrado SLC VR6 coupe with blue stripes rolls up to the curb.

It’s definitely not a Civic.

The passenger side window rolls down.

“I hope you know this is like the equivalent of me asking you to shave all your hair off for me.”

Oh.

Noah definitely should’ve just sucked it up. Maybe asked Mirage to drop him off down the block instead. There’s so many other ways he could’ve gone about this.

He feels like shit. And it shows in the way his shoulders droop and he lowers his head, looking up at the Corrado kind of sheepishly.

“I’m just yanking your chain, sweetspark,” Mirage admits casually. “I don’t give a flying frag. Hop in.”

The words are said so flippantly, Noah almost misses the new term of endearment the bot somehow manages to sneak in there— at least he thinks it’s a term of endearment anyways; the cybertronian version of sweetheart.

His cheeks flood with a swift rush of heat. And he tells himself it’s just because of the stifling heat outside. But he can’t exactly explain away that stupid hot jabbing sensation in his chest that’s also decided to make a sudden return.

He huffs and rounds the car once more, Mirage opening and closing the door for him as he climbs inside.

“You’re a dick,” Noah grumbles beneath his breath as he sets his box down on the passenger seat then fastens his seatbelt, his face still flushed.

“Yeah, but it’s not like you didn’t already know that.”

God damn him, he’s right too.

Noah decides to ignore him for the next few minutes it takes for them to roll up outside his apartment building— evading the bot’s comments and questions with a few spaced-out hums. Instead, he keeps watch out the window for anyone who knows him too well and might think it’s weird for him to be pulling up in a strange car. A car that Noah still— despite the change into a Volkswagen— could never be able to afford.

Mirage’s engine cuts off as soon as he pulls over, after expertly parallel parking between a Mazda 626 and an old Lincoln town car Noah recognizes as Mr. Delano’s, a senile old man that lives a few doors down from him and sometimes gets into shouting matches with the ghost of his ex-wife, Shirley.

“Ladies and gents, we have arrived at our destination,” Mirage announces through the radio with a crackle of static— and Noah thinks he does it on purpose, to make the dumb joke sound more authentic. “974 Wilson Avenue. You may now unfasten your seatbelts.”

It’s adorable, unfortunately, and Noah can’t help the smirk it pulls out of him.

“Got ‘em.”

Noah shakes his head and turns to look out the window— hoping that it somehow hides the quickly-growing full blown smile on his face from Mirage.

Across the street, Mrs. Moreno’s triplets are playing double dutch with a long jump rope that obviously used to be a few smaller jump ropes, which have now been tied together.

“So, I’m picking you up later tonight, right?” Mirage inquires after a moment, his playful tone falling into a far more somber one— like he’s kind of scared Noah’s going to say no. “After you talk to your family and pack?”

The smile on Noah’s face drops.

He’s had a long ride back to Bushwick to think about the answer to that question. A long time to think on Optimus’ offer. And he still doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

Or maybe some part of him does but he’s torn between his options.

On one hand, he has to face his ma— who’s already gonna tear him a new one for missing dinner and not checking in— and tell her he’s leaving again, with barely an explanation as to why. And on top of that, he has to explain it to Kris too. At least when it comes to his little brother, he can give the kid a version that’s closer to the truth.

On the other hand, he has to do something that he’s pretty sure is gonna break his heart; say goodbye. Might break Mirage’s heart too— or rather, his spark.

A few buildings down, Noah can see Mr. Jackson’s son— Noah thinks his name is Paulie— feeding the neighborhood stray cats, something that usually brings his neighbor, Mrs. Vargas, out with a broom in her hand, yelling at him in Spanish because she hates that the ‘pequeños demonios’ keep eating the plants she has on her windowsills.

Except Paulie doesn’t speak Spanish and usually just waves obliviously.

Noah glances down at the radio and heaves a soft sigh.

“Mirage,” he begins to say. “Look, dude, I don’t know if—”

Mirage’s radio releases a garbled, high-pitched whine that makes Noah wince a bit.

“Aw, come on,” the bot moans— and Noah imagines that if the mech were in his rootmode, he’d be kicking his legs in a fuss. “You can’t leave me with those tightasses, man!”

Noah huffs softly beneath his breath, digging his teeth into the smooth skin on the inside of his bottom lip.

“I’ll beg if I have to, gorgeous.”

Motherfucker…

Noah’s just about had it with him.

Mostly just because he thinks his heart might give out with the way it keeps tripping over a beat every time the mech uses one of those goddamn pet names.

Is it flirting? It feels like flirting. But Noah’s not sure. Because he’s a loser and he doesn’t actually know the first thing about flirting. He’s never had time for that before.

He’d always been too busy serving in the army and then running around, worrying about Kris, to even let himself stop and think about something as frivolous as trying to get his flirt on.

Plus, Noah doesn’t know if cybertronians even know what flirting is.

Sure, it feels deliberate. But it’s totally possible Mirage is just repeating shit he’s heard on the streets, or on TV. Right?

Noah’s eyes widen.

What the hell is he even thinking?

He shakes his head.

“Look, Noah. I know this is… a big decision,” Mirage comments softly. “I really want you to come with me. I mean, come on, man. We’re partners. But… I’ll understand if you don’t.”

Why does the mech have to be so freaking sweet about it too?

Noah wants to dig the heels of his palms into his eyes and push until he starts seeing stars.

“How about I give you some time to think about it?” the bot suggests. “I’ll drop by later tonight. That sound like a plan?”

Noah just nods. Because he doesn’t trust his voice not to betray him in that moment and drop like he’s some kind of pre-pubescent teenager.

The Corrado’s driver side door clicks open.

Noah unfastens his seatbelt.

“Don’t forget your gizmos,” Mirage reminds him pointedly. “I know how important they are to you.”

A sharp squawk from a few feet away has Noah’s head snapping up to see a wide-eyed Reek— who’d clearly crossed the street, headed in Noah’s direction— trip over nothing but air and go down hard on the pavement.

“Oh, shit,” Noah exclaims, jumping out of the Corrado. “You aight, man?” He zips over to his fallen friend’s side and reaches down to help the man up.

Reek, with the help of Noah who’s got ahold of one of the other man’s shoulders, stands on shaky feet. His nose is busted and a small rivulet of blood is running over his lip and down his chin.

“Shit, bro, you’re bleedin’,” Noah tells him.

But Reek doesn’t seem to be paying Noah or the blood on his face any mind. No, instead he’s gawking at the Corrado behind Noah.

Noah feels his muscles tense.

“Noah…” Reek begins slowly. “Did that motherfuckin’ car just talk?”

Noah thinks he should be commended for the way he immediately snaps into action, releasing his friend and taking a step back, forcing out a chuckle that’s only kind of awkward.

“A talking car?” he snorts, reaching back to shut the Corrado’s driver side door in a way he really hopes looks chill and unbothered. “Man, you trippin’. You been smokin’ way too much of that chronic shit.”

He hears the window make a whirring noise that clearly means Mirage is rolling it down and he steps back again— his backside coming into contact with the driver side door— in an attempt to shield it from Reek’s view.

“Don’t play with me, man!” Reek cries out, pointing at him. “I ain’t crazy. I know what I just seen with my own two eyes!”

Noah’s eyes widen and he takes a moment to glance around the street, hoping their little spat isn’t drawing any unwanted attention.

“So, I’ma ask you again, dawg,” Reek snaps. “Did that motherfuckin’ car just talk?”

“No?” Noah tries again.

“Yes.”

The admission comes from over Noah’s shoulder and Noah absolutely freezes.

“What the fuck…” Reek breathes out, utterly stunned. “It just talked again. The fuckin’ car just talked.”

Noah turns his head to the side for a second and narrows his eyes down at the silver and blue Corrado.

“Shut up,” he whispers, both hands fisted at his sides, before he whirls back around to face Reek. He stubbornly ignores the way the metal at his rear warms up and seems to tremble.

“It just talked again,” Reek is babbling away, his wild gaze jumping between the car and Noah. “It talks. It’s a talking car. The fuckin’ car just talked again, Noah.”

“No, it didn’t!” Noah denies immediately— unable to control the way his voice rises in pitch in his panic.

Mrs. Moreno’s kids pause their game of double dutch for a second to glance across the street at them.

Noah reaches up and waves at them dumbly until they return to their game.

“Yes, I did,” Mirage’s voice contradicts— and Noah’s gonna kill him, strip him for parts, something, because the asshole sounds proud of it too.

He snaps and whirls back around.

“God damn it, Mirage,” he stresses, forcing his voice to stay low and ignoring Reek’s ravings behind him. “So much for being a master spy. Announce it to the whole world while you’re at it, why don’t you? Way to be slick, dude.”

“Oh, I can show you slick,” Mirage’s sly voice drawls. “All you gotta do is ask nicely, baby. I’ll put on a real good show for you.”

Okaaaay.

Noah thinks it’s finally safe to assume that Mirage isn’t just repeating shit he’s heard on the streets or on TV. This is definitely deliberate.

Noah thinks even the back of his neck flushes this time around.

He bites out an exasperated groan and bends down to lean into the Corrado’s cabin as Mirage rolls his engine over, reaching out for his box. He steadfastly ignores the way the metal digging into his stomach vibrates just a little more than strictly necessary.

“We’re gonna have a serious conversation about this later,” he points out, glaring at the radio as he pulls the box into the driver’s seat so he can get a better grip on it. “Now get outta here before you give my friend a heart attack.”

“Yes, sir,” Mirage taunts immaturely— and Noah’s sure that had the bot been in his rootmode, he would’ve stuck his tongue out at Noah. If that’s even what it’s called. Noah knows he has one, he’s noticed it before.

Noah yanks his box out of the car and, reaching out to grab ahold of Reek’s arm, moves them both over to the sidewalk where he can do nothing but sigh as Mirage once more peels away from the curb with a shriek of screeching tires— damn near scratching the faded paint on Mr. Delano’s Lincoln.

“Noah…”

Noah turns to face Reek, his freckled cheeks absolutely still blazing away.

The man’s got one brow firmly arched. And he still looks kind of blanched, something Noah’s never seen from him before, but he’s also got this wary look on his face

“Look, man, I can explain—”

“Noah,” Reek begins again, tentatively— like he’s about to ask something that even he can’t quite believe he’s going to ask. “Did you fuck that car?”

Noah damn nearly chokes on his own tongue.

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Random (and somewhat silly) Leon Kennedy headcannons

* Leon is a sleepwalker. I have no justification for it other than I think it’d be funny

* Ironically he’s also a VERY light sleeper

* And to add insult to injury, he snores like a freight train.

* Leon is Transgender. Trust me guys he told me himself

* Also got that ADHD Autism combo. Again just trust me you guys he said so himself-

* Bisexual disaster. Probably leans towards men but every gender gives him Gay Panic

* Luis and Ada were his Bi Awakening.

* ((And probably Wesker too. I mean C’mon just look at the guy))

* And just like every Bisexual he CANNOT sit in chairs normally to save his life. If he even bothers to sit on one at all ((Kinda going off the second headcannon; he also sleeps in the WEIRDEST positions humanly possible))

* Leon has permanent Bad Posture. Both from when he used to wear a binder (Transmasc Tingz !!) and from old age

* He hams up his “”old age”” a LOT just to annoy Chris and Claire

* “Ooooooughhh you guys I can feel my bones turning to dust-“ “Shut UP LEON I’m NOT CARRYING YOU”

* Leon also wore a binder for FAR too long. Like he was fighting zombies and doing backflips all while his ribs were screaming in pain

* “Leon when did you last take off your binder” “why do YOU wanna know huh Chris 🤨” “TAKE IT OFF”

* ((Dw guys he practiced safe binding and got Top Surgery. Eventually))

* Leon dyes his hair blonde. You know I’m right

* It’s also like,, surprisingly soft??? He probably takes very good care of it and uses expensive products (probably the only expensive thing he owns)

* He also purposefully cuts it that way. In fact I recon he cuts it himself

* Much more competent people (Jill, Claire, Rebecca) have offered to cut it for him but he’s always refused

* Its one of the few things that reminds him of when he was still a Rookie cop that isn’t also a traumatic memory

* He’s got some PTSD just don’t worry about it ok

* Leon is N O T good at opening up. Like at all. But when somebody DOES manage to crack him he cries s o easily and he will cry for literal hours

* Chris and Claire are the only two people who’ve ever actually managed to successfully get him to open up to that point though

* He also probably sleeps better when he’s with somebody. But he’d never admit that

* Leon’s love language is probably a mix of Words Of Affirmation and Acts Of Service. He’d love it if for once he could come home to somebody having done the little chores for him

* He’s also probably a M A S S I V E sucker for any kind of physical touch. Again, won’t admit it, but he’s a big cuddler.

* Somebody please please please play with this man’s hair he will fall asleep in your lap in seconds

* Now this may be my own Autism special interest shining through but I LOVE the idea of Leon being a massive Pokémon fan

* His favourite games are Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald. Idk man he SEEMS like a Hoenn boy y’know

* His first starter was Torchic and Blaiziken remains as his all-time favourite Pokémon (he’s absolutely correct Torchic is the best Hoenn starter Fight Me)

* Probably still has his Gameboy from when he was a kid

* Leon’s also into retro anime. He likes to get Chris, Jill, Claire and Rebecca over just to show them his old childhood favourite shows like Astroboy or Sailor moon

* Will pause the DVD every 5 seconds to point something out or ramble on about something for 10 minutes

* Oh yeah he also absolutely keeps a DVD player in his home

* He’s a big sucker for old movies, especially old Queer movies but he’s also into classics like Back To The Future, Star Wars etc

*Probably was a big Star Wars kid

*((His favourite movie of all time is Legally Blonde but he will NEVER say that out loud))

* Leon’s always out of the country on some government mission so his house is probably pretty barren. He probably just stays with Chris or Claire after missions anyways

* Leon also still probably keeps in touch with Sherry and Ashley. He definitely went to their respective Graduations to support them at least

* He likes to collect little trinkets from his missions. Rocks, lighters, photos etc

* Other people have put this on their Headcannon lists too but I also agree that Leon is a MASSIVE Foodie

* The way to his heart is through a really good breakfast

* He’s also got a massive Sweet Tooth. Again, courtesy of other Headcannon lists

* He’s got low blood sugar so it probably evens out

* ALWAYS coming home from missions exhausted. In fact he’s exhausted on the plane. On the car ride there. DURING the mission. He’s an eepy little guy

* His T-Shots also make him Very Hungry All The Time. He thought it’d even out after a year of being on Testosterone but over a decade later and he still eats like a teenage boy

* ((It’s ok though cuz Chris always has his fridge stocked full. It might just be for Leon who knows))

* Leon’s not really either a Cat or a Dog guy. He likes both equally and would definitely have one of the other if it weren’t for his work

* He also prefers warm weather :))

* He likes to go swimming with his friends whenever he gets the opportunity

* Everyone makes fun of Chris for his Hawaiian shirts but Leon ABSOLUTELY has way too many as well

* Wears socks and jandals. I’m from Aotearoa NZ I’m allowed to say that ok

*BIG Mitski & Lana Del Rey fan

*I also imagine he probably likes older music like Madonna or Bowie or Blondie

* He’s not very good at it but he likes to paint his nails

* Or he just lets Rebecca or Claire do it for him

* If he goes a long time without cutting his hair either he’ll also put it up in a lil ponytail :)

* He’s got a big ol toothy, lop-sides grin.

* I recon he also involuntarily bites his tongue when he’s genuinely smiling too

* I said before he keeps trinkets and stuff from his missions but he absolutely keeps more personal mementos too. For example;

* He bought himself an old Spanish version of Don Quixote for Luis

* He keeps his old cop uniform in his closet

* He stole Chris’ shades and never returned them

* Still has one of Adas missing rings, etc etc etc

* Similarly to physical objects, Leon also picks up on the habits of people he’s met from his missions

* He always double-checks the barrel of his gun after he’s seen Chris do it so many times

* Holds his knife in his left hand after Krauser

* Very rarely smokes on occasion to remember Luis

* Picked up more Advanced First-Aid after Rebecca ((she also insisted it would be helpful))

* I could go on forever

* Leon can’t imagine ever actually being able to settle down and retire because of his work, but if he could, he would love to be a Father :))

* One last silly one cuz this list has gotten surprisingly serious; Leon unironically references Vines All The Time. It will drive everyone around him insane

[marionedde]

heads up this is a rant about sonadow (positive)

Starting to get into Sonic lately and I’ve learned about generations, and my mind is blown by the fact it’s literally called

SONIC X SHADOW

it’s like naming and episode of a show after a ship- oh wait that already happened in South Park nvm

but still. how on earth were the developers just like “hmm yeah a good name for this would be uh…like, Sonic and shadow…umm… ah fuck it well call it the ship lol no one is gonna read into that”

I’m sorry but fans will read into shadow making eye contact with Sonic for 0.5 seconds you think they won’t find this interesting?

sega foh with that cmon

I mean unless it was very very intentional

the fact that in Sonic prime there is a (spoilers) scene where Sonic PLOWS THROUGH A VOID LIKE A BULLET AFTER SHADOW, obviously shaken up at the thought of him dying, swooping him up like a bride and proceeding to flirt-fight for the next 5 minutes while a GIANT SPACESHIP was headed DIRECTLY FOR AN RNTIRE SOCIETY and my man did NOT break eye contact with shadow the entire time. He was very aware of eggmans ship and didn’t even look worried about the place he was just about to conquer, while three minutes ago he was shaking in his kicks about shadow dying????

but obviously no homo I mean like /j

update

the ending of Sonic prime was WILD

ok so bros desperately speeding through space time with his rival in his arms about to die, fueled by the need to keep him alive and you CAN HEAR THE DRIVE IN HIS VOICE TO KEEP HIM FROM KKICKING THE BUCKET

like that’s just flat out lgbtq+

SEGA YOU CANT HIDE FROM ME

[boatem-probler]

I'm Watching Tokyo Soul So You Don't Have To!

You Are Here! / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

So there's this 2015 Minecraft roleplay series that Grian was in. It's very bad and very, ah, dated, but it's also very full of Grian Angst, so people like to use it in their fanfiction.

A couple years ago, @paranoidpug watched every episode of the first season of this series, called Yandere High School, and wrote summaries of it, so people could learn what all those fanfics were referencing without having to actually watch the thing. They're very good summaries!

@sketchygainedyoursoul took over to do the second season, Tokyo Soul, but it seems like they never got past episode 8, so I've decided to take up the mantle of Tokyo Soul Chronicler. I know how it ends, and unfortunately it's like catnip to me, so this was inevitable really.

Also I'm starting from the beginning, because I'm using a different format and I wanted consistency I guess.

Content warnings for briefly mentioned violence, stalking, and uh... idk how to describe what's going on with Geode. Generally creepy behavior from an adult to a minor is broad enough I think. But in like, a mad scientist way? Yeah.

And Now... The Episodes Without Grian In Them

(I'm really selling this, huh...)

Episode 1 – New Beginning!

You are now sitting.

Sam, Taurtis, and Dom are in a train. They've just arrived in Tokyo. Sam told Taurtis they were going to Disneyland, because Taurtis doesn’t like big cities. Grian is not there.

Okami, their former teacher, has tasked them with navigating from the train station to a restaurant called “SushiWushi”. Let’s see how The Boys mess this one up!

They encounter a skeevy old man named Old Kurokuma outside the train station.

They get someone else named Igbar von Squid to show them the way to SushiWushi, but Sam wants to “mingle” by the dumpsters instead.

I’m now running the video back, because I want to see exactly how long it takes them to get to this restaurant.

Also Dom has the best outfit of the three.

“I’m starting to get spooked. Why’d you even come back here, Taurtis?” says Sam.

They encounter someone literally named “Suspicious Person” burning money in a fire, who offers them “sugar”. They jump over the fire to get away, with varying degrees of success.

“STOP DROP AND RICKROLL” – Dom

They do their “look both ways even though there are no moving cars in existence” bit. If I was Igbar I woulda just left them by this point. Igbar is visibly slumping.

The creepy old man is still following them, also.

They arrive at SushiWushi! It took them 10 minutes and 16 seconds (if my math is right). Honestly? I thought they wouldn’t be there before the episode was over, so good on them.

I’m obsessed with how their Minecraft avatars’ arms move when they’re sitting, by the way, it makes them look like a kid pretending to drive their parents’ car.

Sam and Taurtis both mention feeling uncomfortable around girls with knives.

Taurtis is arguing about pufferfish, Sam is trying to steal sushi from the next table over, Dom is… getting into a fistfight in the background?

Luckily, the person they were supposed to meet, Kiyu, arrives, and WHOA THEY HAVE A VOICE.

Kiyu begins showing them around.

Episode 2 – FIRST SCHOOL DAY!

Kiyu is bad with directions.

Old Kurokuma is STILL following them.

Kiyu shows them their house, they’re very excited about how fancy it is. Kiyu assures them that most of their stuff is there.

Dom is going to live in the dumpster outside apparently.

Kurokuma is outside their house now.

“We’re in the witness protection program, but I feel SO much more unsafe than we were before” – Taurtis. And from what I know it only gets worse!

The next morning, the boys attempt to make their way to school, but they don’t know where it is. They ask a student passing by, then decide to “jump ‘em” when they’re too shy to answer the question.

Taurtis, running over to a group of other students: “Can I hang out with you guys? Can you be my new friends?”

Sam asks Dom for a high five. Dom punches Sam. Sam dies. They continue walking to school.

Taurtis: “I miss our old school, I bet this one’s not even haunted.” Sam: “We could make it haunted!”

At school, they meet back up with Kiyu, who also goes there apparently, and she takes them to get their schedules from Señor Loro, who is wearing a luchador mask and what appears to be a Christmas sweater.

Señor Loro drops them through a trapdoor into a secret wrestling ring. They must wrestle him for their schedules, obviously.

Oh dang they actually have Four Whole Classes this time.

Episode 3 – TEACHER TORI!

On the way to their lockers, one of the other students, Greentama, who is wearing a One Punch Man outfit, one-punches them for jaywalking.

“There’s some weird stuff in these lockers.” – Kiyu

Their first class is with Teacher Tori, who is supposed to be Toriel from Undertale I think? She teaches Agriculture, apparently.

Creepy Man Update: He Is Still There

They go out to the courtyard to collect flowers. We learn that Kiyu avoids the sun.

We also learn that Señor Loro is the guidance counselor.

“Fish are just flowers that swim in the ocean.” – Taurtis

Their next class is Dr. Nurse MD’s Class of Not Dying!

Taurtis does not understand what witness protection is.

Dr. Nurse MD is teaching CPR. He asks for a volunteer from the audience. Taurtis gets volunteered. Dr. Nurse MD does not understand what CPR is. Somehow Taurtis survives.

By this, I mean that Dr. Nurse MD’s conception of CPR is: Choke the other person, and then throw stuff at them. Now pair up and try it on each other!

[Choked Out by The Mountain Goats playing in the background]

Episode 4 – DON’T DROWN!

Time for lunch!

One of the kids who was in Nurse MD’s class is stumbling around coughing up blood, it seems. Lovely.

Sam and Taurtis decide to eat lunch on the high diving board, where they witness someone almost drown.

Time for gym class! The PacerGram Fitness Test is a–

They do laps around the gym. Gym Teacher Helena loves pain, it seems. Also she has quite a bit of favoritism towards Kiyu.

The kid who was coughing up blood earlier is NOT looking good.

Episode 5 – CREEPY TEACHER!

Their last class is in classroom 12, which has a number 4 outside of the door, and also a gold key and a bottle of Mountain Dew. The floor inside is covered in mushrooms, and the teacher, Professor Geode Rocks, is sitting on a throne. He addresses his students as “subjects” and “my children”. There are chains hanging from the ceiling. The boys are very uncomfortable.

Geode calls the new kids to the front of the class and asks for their medical records. Also, every time he says someone’s name, he says it in all caps.

Taurtis starts listing out all of the physical trauma he’s suffered. Geode decides the three of them are “not good candidates”.

Geode gives them homework: Collect as much trash as possible. Extra points for blood, hair, and nails.

“Wait an Earth Second,” says Professor Geode, much like an Earthling would.

He starts sniffing Taurtis. Taurtis is “the one”. Now his plan can finally be a success. He pulls a hair out from Taurtis’s head. Taurtis does NOT like any of this. Even Sam is vocally weirded out. Geode starts yelling about world domination as the bell rings.

Sam: “We can’t go back, we’re in witness protection.” Taurtis: “I don’t feel protected here!”

Taurtis: “I’ve never felt so unsafe in my life.”

This school’s Yelp review is going to be real bad.

Sam: “This is for a class, Mr. Geode told us we had to get blood.” Señor Loro: “CLASSIC GEODE. He is eccentric.”

Creepy Man Update: Still.

I'm probably gonna do 1 school day per post from this point, it's a good way of breaking things up.

Next Time... Grian!