#listening to it made me understand Ash better

[bananafishdepression]

Song "Daddy" by Korn and Ash Lynx :(

[reidmania]

sharpest tool | s.reid

(chapter eight, halloween)

‘Your hands are all over my scent, I worry for you, you worry for me, and it's fine if we know we won't change. Collect every dream in these old empty pockets, in hope that I'll see them someday. But the wreckage of you, I no longer reside in, and the bridges have long since been burned, the ash of the home that I started the fire in. It starts to return to the Earth, I'm leavin' this town and I'm changin' my address I know that you'll come if you want. It's not Halloween, but the ghost you're dressed up as sure knows how to haunt’

summary; communication is hard, especially when spencer is keeping secrets and you’re debating sticking around to find out what they are.

warnings; arguments, fem reader, reader is a bitch, horrible miscommunications, spencer is confusing, reader is hurt, they both cry, some comfort but not really, direct continuation of the last chapter, suggestive so 18+ please, mdni, there is so many mixed emotions in this, kissing, mentions commitment issues, ghosting, god they are complicated, reader is real as always.

taglist; @gghostwriter @lavonee @guiltyyassin @spencersinonlygf @criminalmindssworld @iknwreid @fortheloveofgubler @yokaimoon @sapphirecobalt-1 @eddiesdrummergf @livvyliv15 @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebastiansstanswhore @bloodredrubyrose @sp3ncelle @nemobee777 @jencole214 @hazzarules @ameerakane20 @lucere @cultish-corner @psyches-reid

“Please.” It was so quiet, so desperate, full of genuine plea leaving his lips as he hand brushed your shoulder, spinning you to face him. You looked up at him and your chest ached painfully at the tears lining his eyes. You wondered how long it would be before he no longer had an effect on you.

You shook your head, dropping your gaze down. You wanted to yell at him, tell him how shit he made you feel, make him feel the hurt he had inflicted onto you, but you didn’t, you couldn’t. It was Spencer for christ sake. You hated it, so much, that he was standing here and so were you, you hated that you were looking into his eyes and your heart was aching at the sight, you hated him so much it made your chest hurt, or maybe that was because you loved him.

“What do you want from this, Spencer?” It was shakier than you intended it to come out. You didn’t understand him, which wasn’t new since his brain was a complexity that yours couldn’t near but this was different. His feelings had always been clear until now. Why was he so fixated on making sure you knew he was sorry, why was he so worried about that when he wouldn’t provide you with an explanation, when he knew without that there was no way he could fix this.

“I just- i don’t want you to hate me.” He whispered, your mind spun with furthered confusion and honestly his mixed signals and emotions were beginning to give you whiplash to the point your head hurt and your neck ached. His hand reached out for your jaw, you snapped your head away.

“Would that make you feel better about yourself? If i didn’t hate you?” You asked, maybe the words were malicious, but your voice came out genuine, searching his eyes to see if he needed some sort of validation from you.

“No- I just- I want to tell you everything but I can’t, because you will argue with me and i hate arguing with you-“ you cut off his ramble.

“What do you think this is? A friendly discussion?”

“Closure?”

You scoffed, “No explanation, No reasoning, wont be honest, avoiding questions, getting frustrated- Yeah no this is great closure actually. I hope you feel better now.” You huffed out, tone laced with sarcasm.

He said your name, you frowned. “I don’t want you to hate me. I fucked up, i know. And im sorry i can’t tell you what you want to hear— or anything worth listening to but I care about you, so much. So incredibly much, even if you don’t believe it. I do, I do. I care about you.” He was begging in his words. You didn’t understand why.

“I hate what you did, and i hate how you made me feel, and i hate that i trusted you, i hate that you lied to me—”

“I didn’t lie.”

You scoffed, "I'll never hurt you'" you mocked his promise, "I promise" you continued. He remained silent as his gaze dropped, his hands came to run through his hair.

You were silent for a moment, before you sighed, dropping your gaze, "I don't hate you." You mumbled, not for his comfort but for the fact it was true. You didn't hate him, hating him was near impossible.

"Im sorry." He apologised. "Let me make it up to you."

"Tell me why." You argued.

"I can't." He almost begged, like it physically hurt him to say.

You shook your head, "Then can you just, leave me the fuck alone?" You were tired. Of this, of this feeling. It was as if Spencer came into your life, got close, purely for the sake of reminding you why you didn't let anyone do that. It was sickening. The hurt caused you physically sickness more times then you were willing to admit.

The nights you spent in hysterics over the overwhelming ache in your heart, the him shaped ache. Well those were nights you kept to yourself. When nights grew too lonely, or the side of the bed he had almost claimed as his own carried a hint of his scent, when you saw the hoodie laying on the chair in the corner of your room. You never wore it, you couldn't. You couldn't return it either. It remained in place in the corner of your room, untouched.

"I can't." He repeated in the same tone, yet quieter. He looked so resigned, so in his own head. Guilty.

You wanted to scream.

It was as simple as that. He was confusing, a walking contradiction. He wouldn't tell you what caused his sudden disappearance, what you had done, or what he had done, but he was acting as if he was physically incapable of staying away from you despite that.

Your eyes squinted when you looked up at him.

You weren't going to cry - not again. The fact he had even seen that was an embarrassment you would delve into later — way too late in the night and hate yourself for, for probably the next few years of your life. He was looking at you, pleading with his eyes.

You wanted to scream.

"You don't get to do that." It came out harsh, you intended it so. You could see the physical stiffness of his body. He wanted to reach out, touch you. You wanted him to stay away.

No, you didn't. Your feelings were just as contradictory as he was. In a way you wanted him to stay away from you because you knew if he didn't you may break. The tough shell exterior may crumble for him, again. You wanted to hug him, you wanted to feel the warmth of his body and breathe in his scent, but you wanted to hate him more.

"I know." He said, quietly, It was honest. He chewed at his lip as he looked at you, hands by his side, squeezing his fists together before releasing them. You wanted to walk away. You wanted to so badly but your feet remained glued to the ground, too close to him, yet at the same time not close enough.

You pulled your gaze away, looking over the streets. It was quiet, deafeningly so. If you focused enough you'd hear the music coming from the inside of the bar. You couldn't, you couldn't focus enough on anything other than Spencer in front of you.

"Spencer." You turned your gaze back to him when you muttered his name. It was stern, steady, a complete contradiction to how you felt. "If you aren't going to give me an explanation or at least tell me what i did, then i want nothing to do with you."

His breath hitched, you heard it. He was quiet for a moment then his head dropped, a mental argument, you could imagine. Then when he spoke it was quiet, earnest.

"You didn't do anything." It came out like a promise, he said it so certainly you almost believed it. You wondered if you'd ever believe anything he said again, the voice in the back of your mind screaming that he was a liar seemed a little louder than his words.

Your eyes squinted as your arms raise and fell by your side with a huff of frustration parting your lips. You were over this. So over it.

Everything you had avoided getting yourself into - for this exact reason being proven nothing more than a mistake.

You could hardly form words.

"What did you do then?" You accused, it would be a lie to say that the thought of him possibly finding another girl didn't cross your mind at least once, or a hundred times. It was hard not come up with scenarios and false accurate explanations for what he did.

He said your name, because he wanted to believe you knew him better than that, looking at you with a frown so sad it made your heart feel as if it was constricted of blood. "Nothing- I didn't- Nobody did anything wrong." He frowned.

You furrowed your eyebrows because the more he talked the more you wanted to turn around and hit your head against the brick wall, hoping maybe if you did it enough times this would all make sense. Although you doubted that.

"So you just.. lost interest?" You didn't want to ask, you wish you didn't care.

"No." He shook his head instantly, stepping forward. You would've stepped back if your feet didn't feel glued to the ground, and if his eyes werent burning into yours, as if they were trying to tell you something that his words couldn't.

"No- I am- So interested."

You closed your eyes, because you were sure if you didn't you would scream.

“I know— Thats not fair and I am confusing you— I am confused too.” He stepped closer again. You could almost feel his body heat and the height of him cascading a shadow over you, blocking the streetlight from your vision, not that you needed it because your eyes remained closed.

You sighed, dragging your hands down your face. If this situation were to happen eight month ago, you would’ve turned around on your heels and left without a second thought, refusing to let this hurt you, refusing to care for someone so deeply again, but this wasn’t happening eight months ago, it was happening now, and you did care about Spencer, so incredibly much. It was almost embarrassing. You were embarrassed about how much you cared.

“So is it a commitment thing?” You mumbled through your hands, you just needed something, the rest you could make up in your head late at night before you fell asleep, pouring coffee in the morning, you could come up with an explanation that provided you with enough comfort you made be able to live with the unknowing.

“No.” He shook his head.

That didn’t help, now you were more confused. If it was a commitment thing, you could understand, but it wasn’t and you didn’t understand.

“You do realise this whole conversation is useless right?” You mumbled, peeling your hands away from your face, and opening your eyes. You knew he was close, but not this close. His body was in front of yours, so close it was like a punishment, and torture at once because you had to refrain from reaching up and wrapping your arms around him, in search of the comfort that had grown absent with him.

You looked up at him, a frown on your lips. You wished you could walk away, he looked down at you, chewing at his lips for a moment as his eyes flickered along every feature of your face, committing it all to memory. “But it’s a conversation.” He barely whispered it.

Your heart tugged with so much ache you were sure you were going to die. “You’re hurting me.”

He was silent, his eyes looking into yours. He didn’t flinch at your words but you could see it in his eyes, he knew. Whether it was intentional or not, he knew he was hurting you, he knew what he was doing, and he looked like it was breaking his heart.

He hesitated, you waited. For something, anything.

“Can I kiss you?”

Thats not what you expected. And you weren’t sure if the butterflies in your stomach were hurt and anger dwindling around, or whether it was nerves because it was Spencer. Offering, or asking for something that only confused you more, yet you wanted to say yes.

“No- What?- Are you insane?” You asked, eyebrows furrowing.

He didn’t seem shocked nor hurt by your rejection. He probably expected it.

What he was shocked by, what you were also shocked by was the fact although your words, you leant up and your lips were on his before he could reply. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the emotions, or maybe it was just him.

You would regret it when you pulled away, you knew that. You would hate yourself for every second of the rest of your life when his lips parted yours, but right now, as his hands found way to your waist the moment he processed what was happening, tugging you in closer so your chest was flush against his own and his lips were pressing against yours, all thoughts of anything else left your mind.

His hands gripped at the fabric of your shirt, tangling the material through his fingers, using that to pull you impossibly closer, the movement was so familiar, because he always wanted you so close, he used to, anyways. You weren’t sure what you were thinking when your hands came to his neck, pressing against either side of it.

You definitely weren’t sure what you were thinking when your hands moved from his neck to tangle in his hair, encouraging him further into the kiss.

You were sure you weren’t thinking when your lips parted as his tongue brushed over the lining over your lips, hands squeezing your waist gently. you could feel the air leaving his nose against your lower lip, it tickled and if you weren’t kissing for the reason you were, you would’ve pulled away in a mess of laughter, because with him you could.

He hadn’t been drinking, not alcohol anyways, you knew that because you could taste the sugary syrup residue on his lips from some sort of soda. You were sure yours resembled the taste of vodka, not that you had drank a lot, actually only half of a drink, so you couldn’t even blame kissing him on being drunk, because you were completely in your right mind.

You settled for blaming emotions instead.

You were hyperaware of everything, every touch, every small breath, every movement of his lips, every soft grace of his tongue, of his scent. His scent was suffocatingly familiar, and sickeningly comforting. Your chest was constricted and you weren’t sure if it was from the messiness of his kiss as his lips pressed and moved against yours, or if it was from how you knew when you pulled away you would regret it.

When your hands tugged gently on the strands of hair tangled in your fingers, a slight groan left his lips straight against yours, the sound sent your nerves into a frenzy, and all common sense went out the window. His hands were everywhere, your back, your hair, your shoulders, your thighs.

“We are in the middle of the road.” He mumbled against your lips, not pulling away. You think he knew just as well as you did, the moment it slowed down you’d have too much time to think about it.

“Oh” you mumbled back, pressing your lips against his again, but also very aware that this was very public, although the street was dead, and quiet as the minutes ticked to a later hour, you did not necessarily want to be seen as the girl kissing her ex almost boyfriend in the middle of the street.

“How’d you get here?” He asked, his lips left yours yet before you could even have time to regret kissing him in the first place, his lips connected with your jaw, and your head and common sense remained up in the clouds, you stayed right here with him.

Your breath was heavy, chest rising and falling as your eyes fluttered closed, head tilting to allow him more space as his teeth brushed ever so gently against your jaw before his lips continued against your neck. “Uh” apparently your ability to talk was up in the clouds with the rest of your dignity.

“Uh?” He mumbled, he was teasing.

“Penelope.” You huffed out as your head tilted further, hands still in his hair, his hands still on your waist.

He hummed as his hands slipped under your shirt, pressing gently against the soft skin of your back, the touch sent shivers and goosebumps everywhere. You could feel him everywhere, you were utterly consumed by him in every aspect. “How much have you drank?” He asked.

What a question, because although you were sober and unaffected by the half of a drink you had, admitting that would mean you wouldn’t be able to blame whatever stupid decision you made on alcohol, but you knew if you lied, and said you had more than you did, he would be pulling away and making sure you got home safe.

No option was a good option but one saved your dignity and the other deprived you of him.

“Half of one.” He hummed in response.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked, pulling away to look down at you, one hand left your back to reach for your jaw, his thumb brushing over the soft skin of cheek. Any regret in your chest seemed to be overtaken by the gentleness of his touch and the familiarity of his offer.

But you shook your head, “No- you’re not coming to my house.” You mumbled, your lips were still tingling with the sensation of his, you didn’t want him at your house, not anymore. It had taken you a while to even let him there in the first place, he had lost the right to your home. Apparently he would always have the right to you though, even if it was embarrassingly so. “Take me to yours?”

[landojpg04]

I should not be writing this as I have finals and a huge project due by Sunday, but on my fyp all I've been listening and seeing is the new Hozier song that is supposed to come out next Friday. The one where he sings You're too sweet for me, and I cannot stop picturing Simon saying that throughout the discourse of your relationship.

When you both first meet, you notice that when this man drinks his coffee, it’s black. No sugar, sweetener, not even creamer. It's just a pure bitter liquid that he sips through a debrief in the morning. Meanwhile, you loved sweeteners, oat milk, almond milk, sweet cream foams, and anything that would rid the bitterness. 

“Your coffee is basically sugar.” You heard him grumble as you added more cream to your cup. You smiled and offered him the creamer in your hand.

“Won't kill you to try some; it’ll may make the bitterness go away.” You said.

“I like my coffee black.” He says before walking away.

The next night out, you were running late. You finally made it to the restaurant/bar. The team had already ordered some drinks, but behind you was Simon.

“Wanna order together.” You say, and he just nods, leading the way to the bar.

You catch the attention of the bartender.

“Can I get a cosmo.” You said; he nodded his head and looked at Simon for his.

“Whiskey. Neat.”

You looked at Simon with a puzzling look. He raised his eyebrows as you stared at him.

“Your drink of choice is warm whiskey?” You asked.

“It’s better than a juice with alcohol.”

You just laughed at his remark towards you.

“Simon, you just aren’t a fan of sweet things.” You said as the bartender handed you your drinks.

“Not in the aspects you think.” He says before leading you back to the table.

Johnny knew of the crush Simon never dared to let on towards you. He would always push the lieutenant to at least try and make a move or even hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes with you. 

It's not until they are both smoking a cigar and enjoying the quiet of the night when Johnny finally gets a glimpse of his true thoughts.

“Why is it that you won't allow yourself to pursue even past the debriefing room or weekly gatherings? She definitely wouldn’t say no to a night out with just you.”

Simon just blows the smoke he was savoring in his lungs.

“She’s too sweet for me.” That is all he lets on.

Johnny gave him a look, not understanding his thoughts.

“She’s too sweet for me. She can’t be with someone like me. It would be like mixing honey and ash. It wouldn’t work.”

You heard Simon complaining about shoulder pain the other day. You had picked up some lidocaine cream and patches because that is what worked for you. 

“Hey Simon,” You tried to get his attention before he got in his truck.

He stopped and turned to see you catching up to you. You had a small bag in your hand. He relaxed on the side of his door as he waited for you.

“Here you go.” You said, handing him the bag.

“What is it?” He said, looking at it before peeking in.

“I heard you complaining about shoulder pain, and I have the same problem, so I thought I would share the love by getting you some of the remedies I use for you.” 

“You're too sweet for me.” He whispered to himself, almost as a reminder.

“What?” You said, not picking up on what he had just said.

“Thank you, this is really nice of you.” He said. You nodded and gave him a smile before walking over to your car. 

It’s three in the afternoon, and you're in his bed. It's a rainy day, and right now, you both are tucked in under his covers, taking in each other's body heat. You looked up to meet his eyes. He peers down to meet your gaze. Simon could have never thought, after years of this back and forth, that you would still agree to be here with him. You trace the scar that lines his lip. You knew he was afraid to bear himself all to you. To open Pandora's box and let you see him like this. No mask, no guard, just him. He was expecting you to run away from the bitterness he knows surrounds him. But you stayed. And continue to do so.

“You're too sweet for me.” He says before grabbing a hold of your chin and moving you towards his lips. 

ANGST PORTION (don't hate me, but this is also in my head)

He’s standing before you. Hood on, hands in the pocket. He gazes down as he mutters the words,

“You're too sweet for me.”

He’s attempting to break things between you. And his reasoning echoes in your head: You're too sweet for me. At the end of the day, you care for the man you love, have been there for him through the darkness, and have shown him the way it feels to be loved. And he's stepping back because of the words–You're too sweet for me. 

[cl0wncakez]

Say whatever you want about the black and white anime, but the one thing i will always stand by is that IRIS AND CILAN WERE NEVER PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

i did a full watch of the bw series a few weeks back, and the main 2 complaints i had about it were ash’s pokemon (he caught too many and most of them didn’t get enough screentime as a result) and team rocket (they were like barely there and didn’t even do the blasting off gag until the last season i think)

but for me the best parts of it were iris and cilan!!! i was kinda expecting them to be annoying cuz of all the hate they got, but i was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable they were.

first off, i am the number 1 iris defender. all the posts i see that complain about her say the same thing everytime: “all iris does is say that ash is a little kid!”

well, as someone who’s binged the entire unova anime in like a week and a half, i can say that there is so much more to her. but for one, she doesn’t even say that ash is a kid as often as you might think. she mostly says it in the first few episodes when she first met ash. for the rest of the series, she’ll occasionally say it in passing, but it is not her one defining trait. while there are a few instances where i thought that it wasn’t warranted, there are plenty more times where ash was being big dummy and deserved it.

what people seem to forget about iris is that at the start of ash’s unova journey, iris is practically a new trainer. her axew is at most only a few weeks old, and her excadrill, while strong, hasn’t battled for who knows how long after being brutally defeated by drayden’s haxorous, leaving it in a state of shock. so obviously, she isn’t going to be the most experienced trainer out there.

iris grew up in the village of dragons, which as the name suggests, is a village inhabited by various dragon type pokemon. having spent her whole life surrounded by dragon types, iris has made it her dream to become a dragon type master. while at the beginning of her journey, she’s just with her axew, she over time has several encounters with dragon type pokemon, all of which help her better understand how to communicate with dragon types.

in one episode, she helped a druddigon out from a trap set by team rocket, while everyone else assumed it was rampaging out of anger. in another, the gang were helping out at a pokemon daycare, and in it was a deino, who was extremely shy. it’s trainer hadn’t returned for days after they said they would (the trainer ended up getting lost in a cave) and it was beginning to refuse to eat due to its anxiety. and what did iris do? she stayed with the deino the whole night, helping it relax in a place it wasn’t familiar with. it’s episodes like these that show that she’s not a one dimensional character, and like the rest of ash’s companions, she has character development.

but what helped fully flesh out her arc was when she caught her dragonite.

unlike axew, who was by her side from the beginning, she and dragonite did not get along immediately. dragonite was stubborn, wouldn’t listen to iris, and had its own way of battling. in order to become a dragon master, she would first have to understand dragonite. the trust that was built happened really slowly, but she did get there. by understanding a pokemon as troubled as her dragonite, iris would then be able to reach out and soothe her excadrill, making it confident enough to battle again, and help axew evolve after her journey with ash ended. and i think that was a solid way to end her arc until pokemon journeys, where offscreen, she fulfilled her dream as a dragon master and became the champion of unova.

now onto cilan.

cilan doesn’t get hated on nearly as much as iris, he’s more or less just forgotten about. so while i was expecting to hate iris when i first started watching, i had zero expectations on cilan. and tbh, i think he’s my favorite traveling companion?? if not than at least top 3.

cilan is the oldest of three siblings, and he first met ash and iris when ash came to battle at the triplet’s restaurant/gym. usually, the challenger only battles one of them, but ash was the first person to want to challenge all 3 brothers. when it was cilan’s turn to battle, he assumed that he would win due to him having the type advantage (ash choosing to battle with oshawott against cilan’s pansage)

well, ash won. and a few episodes later, cilan asked if he could join ash on his journey. the reason cilan wanted to come along was because he saw a new side to pokemon battling that he wanted to better understand.

something about cilan is that while he is a gym leader, he doubles as a pokemon connoisseur. a connoisseur is someone who makes critical judgements in fine arts or matters of taste. for cilan, he analyzes the bond between trainer and pokemon. and during his battle with ash, he evaluated his and oshawotts bond based on their battle. and he dug INTO ash, almost outright insulting his capabilities as a trainer, due to his assumptions from ash using a water type against a pansage.

but the thing is, cilan was wrong. in the end, oshawott ended up winning with ash’s strategy and support.

he fully expected to win, and was given an entirely new perspective of battling after seeing ash pull through. like cooking, pokemon battles aren’t just about type advantage and throwing moves out. it’s about thinking outside the box and trusting your pokemon, which ash accomplished by having oshawott use its scallchop to deflect a bullet seed attack. wanting to become a better trainer and connoisseur, cilan tagged along to gain a new understanding between trainer and pokemon.

and outside of his arc, cilan is just a genuinely fun character!!! did you know that along with being a pokemon connoisseur, this man is also a fishing, cooking, detective, judge, and film connoisseur??? and he can cook!! (EDIT: people are mentioning that he is also a train connoisseur!!! sorry :( i forgor)

cilan is shown to be more composed with his emotions than the previous traveling partners ash had. he also plays a mediator role whenever ash and iris bicker. and remember, cilan is the oldest sibling of 3 triplets, so he’s likely had to play mediator countless times if his brothers ever argued. ash and iris also seem to have a sibling-like bond, so their clashing was probably similar to what cilan faced before with cress and chili.

as i said, cilan is much more patient and gentleman-like. so the few moments where he genuinely loses his shit leaves a stronger impact.

the most notable example was with skyla, who instead of fulfilling her gym duties, played out battles in her head, and made her own judgements on if she could win a battle or not. this lead to challengers either being pushed away without a chance to battle, or given a gym badge without deserving it.

now cilan, who is a gym leader, sees this as a disgrace. it goes against everything a gym leader is supposed to do. skyla was lazy, arrogant, and wouldn’t do her job, which set him off. while he did lose against skyla, it was a big character moment to try and defend his honor as a gym leader.

overall, cilan is soooooo cool you guys don’t get him the way i do!!! i am the number 1 cilan fan!!!!

i think the reason people complain about iris and cilan more than any other companions ash had is because they were different.

iris had a completely different goal than everyone before her, it was a complete 180. she had zero interest in contests or performing, her dragon master dream was brand new in the anime. additionally, her relationship with ash was more like siblings than best friends, which likely made some viewers think their bickering was annoying.

and cilan. poor guy didn’t even have a chance from the start. not after brock was around for like a billion seasons.

overall, the black and white anime does have its problems, as does every pokemon anime. but leave iris and cilan out of it THEY ARE INNOCENT PARTIES :(

[stylesispunk]

"The not so invisible string" part 5

Not outbreak! Joel Miller x F! Reader

previous chapter | next chapter | series masterlist

summary: you and Joel were made right for each other at the wrong time. Now, thirteen years later your paths crossed when both of your daughters get in trouble at school. Would be the right time for you now?

word count: 4k

warnings: angst, cheating, serious talk. "Doe" is her nickname. No proof reading haha

a/n: Hello! Here's chapter 5! I hope you like it, sorry for the all the wait, I've been dealing with some things. This one is more like a filler chapter and I'll be back with another one on Tuesday! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. Happy reading 💌 Remember my dms and asks are always open for you

dividers by @/saradika.

It has already been a week since you found out about Dwight’s family, and since then, you have not spoken to him. He had sent messages and had been calling you, begging you to let him explain himself. But you ignore them; instead, you initiated the divorce process with a lawyer, and you were waiting for this chapter of your life to finally be over. Even when you couldn’t bear the feeling of something you touched becoming ashes again, how a shame it was for you to be an insignificant target to fool.

The truth was that Dwight was a source of light entering through your window at some point. The very first night you met him, he was a gentleman, and he treated you well until he stopped. However, the unfaithful path he had chosen for the both of you was something you could not forgive. Your marriage was ending like all the other love stories you were part of.

And that was one of the worst parts of being an adult: having to pick up the broken pieces of you by yourself, save them in your pocket, and continue with your life because it doesn’t matter how exhausted you are or not; you have to continue because you are a woman and no little child is allowed to cry anymore.

During all this week, you had been staying at Joel’s house. He reassured me that it was okay for him to sleep on the couch and insisted that you take the bed. Joel had been acting as a supportive friend throughout this difficult situation, offering a listening ear whenever you needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on, but still, the string pulling you together was burning in your finger, and for him, it seemed okay to pretend that the kiss you almost gave him didn’t happen.

As you lay in bed one night, staring up at the ceiling, thoughts of Dwight and the life you had envisioned together flooded your mind. You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness and betrayal, but deep down, you knew that you deserved better than someone who couldn't stay faithful.

After all, you thought you deserved it. You had been physically faithful to him, but you always knew your heart belonged to Joel since the moment you met him, and loving a man while staying married to another was another type of treason. 

All wells end badly if they are built on lies.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

You almost dropped your cup of coffee when you heard Joel's voice saying your name.

"What?" You inquired, perplexed.

"I told you I'm leaving and taking the girls to school; are you coming?"

"No, I have to see Dwight in an hour," you said. Joel's face sank slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, as if poison had flowed from your lips. "You know, divorce things," you said somberly.

Joel nodded in agreement, although his expression revealed a tinge of anguish. "I understand," he replied softly. "Just remember, you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you, no matter what.

Touched by his constant support, you smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Joel. I sincerely appreciate everything you have done for me. And thank you for taking Tara to school."

As Joel gathered his belongings and prepared to go, you couldn't help but feel grateful for having him back in your life. Despite the distress you were experiencing, knowing you had someone like him by your side gave you the resilience to face whatever lay ahead.

With a deep breath, you prepared for the meeting with Dwight, reaffirming your courage and telling yourself that you deserved better than the pain he had caused you. And as you saw Joel leaving, you couldn't help but feel like the story was repeating itself, as if you weren't deserving of permanent love.

The mood at the lawyer's office, where you sat across from Dwight, was strained. The air seemed heavy with unspoken thoughts and repressed feelings. Dwight squirmed uneasily in his seat, avoiding your gaze and fidgeting with the papers in front of him.

You took a deep breath, ready for the talk that needed to take place. "Dwight," you said, your voice firm but laced with bitterness, "we both understand why we're here. "This marriage... is over."

Dwight finally caught your stare, and you could feel the guilt and regret in his eyes. "I know," he replied softly, just above a whisper. "I messed up, and I apologize. I don't expect you to forgive me, but just know that I didn't mean to hurt you."

Your heart was crushed at his words, but you knew forgiveness would never come. "Yeah, I bet you didn't mean to have a child with another woman," you responded, your tone strict. "But apologies are not going to fix the damage already done. We need to move forward with the divorce, and I want you to tell Tara about your child."

Dwight nodded, a sense of resignation washing over him. "I understand," he replied, his voice full of remorse. "I will sign any paper that is required and won't disagree with it. I only want you to be happy, even if it is without me."

As you left the lawyer's office, without saying a word to him, Dwight turned to you with an eager expression in his eyes. "Can I have Tara over for dinner tonight?" he requested cautiously. "I want to tell her the truth and start making amends."

You hesitated for a moment, considering your alternatives. Regardless of the hurt and betrayal, you believed Tara deserved to know the truth about her father. And perhaps, by confronting the truth together, you would be able to repair the wounds that have been done to your family.

You sighed and nodded, an overwhelming feeling of conviction coming over you. "Yes, Dwight," you replied gently. "You can have Tara over for tonight.

Dwight nodded, a thankful smile flashing over his lips. "Thank you," he replied genuinely. "I won't let you down."

"I don't trust you, and if you make my daughter cry, I will fucking kill you, Dwight." You spoke with a steely tone to emphasize the importance of your warning.

Dwight's smile faded as he gulped and nodded his head. "I know I've let you both down," he muttered gently, his expression gloomy. "But I swear, I'll do everything I can to make things right. "I love Tara and would never do anything to hurt her."

You kept his stare for a minute, looking for any sign of sincerity. You slowly nodded, accepting his words with cautious apprehension. "But you did," you responded, your tone softening slightly. "Tara deserves nothing less than your best. "You are her father; act like one."

Dwight nodded firmly; his expression full of purpose. "I won't let you down," he said, his voice full of tenacity.

With a final nod, you turned and walked away, an avalanche of emotions spinning inside you. While you couldn't ignore the pain and treachery he'd caused you, you couldn't resist the flicker of optimism washing over you.

"Hey, pretty lady, can you help me with something?" Tommy spoke while reaching over to your desk.

"What is it?" you asked, in an unnecessarily harsh tone, as Tommy lifted his gaze to meet the sadness in your eyes and laid his papers aside.

"Okay. What's wrong?" He asked, concerned.

"Nothing but a soon-to-be divorce," you responded, faking a smile as if you had said something amusing, but Tommy did not laugh or smile.

"What?" you asked. "Okay, I'm kind of stressed with some things."

"I'm sorry to hear that," he replied quietly, his voice full of sympathy. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you."

You felt a rush of gratitude rush over you after Tommy's offer of support.

Despite the facade you had been trying to keep up, the weight of recent events had taken its toll, and it felt good to finally share your burden with someone else.

"Is it because of my brother, or not? What about his date tonight?"

"Joel has a date tonight." you said, your heart cracking slightly.

Tommy's face furrowed with worry as he noticed your reaction. "Yes, he mentioned it earlier. He said he was going out with someone he had recently met."

The news made your heart sink as a range of emotions swirled inside you. "Oh," was all you could say, attempting to cover up the twinge of pain that stabbed your chest.

Tommy sensed a shift in your attitude, and his expression softened with understanding. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew since you are staying at his house."

"It's okay, Tommy," you said, attempting a forced smile.

However, it was not okay.

Not long after that, Joel came to the office door, ready to go, and drew your attention with a glance around the room. Without saying anything, he gestured for Tommy to join him, and the two of them rushed toward the exit.

You couldn't help but feel a tinge of disappointment as you observed them leave together, a reminder that you'd also lost him along the way.

As they approached the door, Joel paused and returned his gaze to you, his face softening as he did so, and despite the hurt and confusion whirling inside you, you managed to muster a small, strained smile in response.

"See you later," Joel murmured, his tone tinged with concern.

You nodded in answer, attempting to cover up the chaos that was growing within you. "See you," you said, the words seeming flat on your tongue.

Joel and Tommy disappeared in just one glance, leaving you alone in the office with your thoughts.

Maybe it was time for you to move on, leave his house, and even leave this town.

As the night fell, you found yourself lost in your thoughts, the events of the day weighing heavily on your mind. The sound of the door opening pulled you from your reverie, and you looked up to see Joel entering the house.

"Hey," he greeted you, his voice warm but tinged with concern as he noticed the somber expression on your face. "How was your day?"

You forced a smile, trying to mask the turmoil brewing inside you. "It was alright," you replied vaguely, avoiding his gaze.

Joel furrowed his brows, sensing that something was amiss. "Where are the girls?”

“Uhm. Sarah is upstairs doing homework”

“And Tara?" he asked, his tone filled with curiosity.

You hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to respond. "She's at Dwight's," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Joel's expression tensed slightly at the mention of Dwight's name, a flicker of emotion passing through his eyes before he composed himself. "Oh," was all he said, his voice neutral.

A heavy silence settled between you, the weight of unspoken words hanging in the air. Sensing the tension, you took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.

"So, uh, how was your date?" you asked, trying to sound casual despite the knot of jealousy tightening in your chest.

Joel's brows furrowed in confusion, his eyes searching yours for any hint of jest. "Date?" he echoed; his voice tinged with surprise.

Your heart sank at his reaction, realizing that perhaps you had misunderstood or misheard earlier. "Yeah, Tommy mentioned it,” you explained, trying to keep your tone light despite the growing unease in your stomach.

As you mentioned Tommy's observation, Joel's expression softened, understanding dawning in his eyes. “There was no date; I was actually still working at this dude’s house.”

“Then why did he? you began.

“Were you jealous?” he interrupted

You paused, caught off guard by Joel's interruption. The question hung in the air, heavy with implications. Your heart raced as you considered how to respond, unsure whether to admit the truth or deflect his inquiry.

"I... I don't know," you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Would it be bad? I mean, would it be that bad for me to have a date?” he teased, smirking at you.

Joel's teasing tone caught you off guard, and you felt a range of emotions rushing up inside you. Part of you wanted to dismiss his inquiry with a casual reply, while another part wanted to express how sensitive you are and hurt.

"Maybe" you said, your voice tinged with sorrow.

Joel's humorous tone faded when he understood the importance of his words. He reached out and gently grabbed your hand, and you automatically retreated, feeling a flash of weakness and uneasiness. His gaze shifted, and his eyes showed fear.

"I think that it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You said, a lump developing in your throat as you battled to hold back your tears.

"I think it's better if I go to stay at my parents' house." You announced, a lump growing in your throat as you tried to hold back tears. "I just... I need some space right now," you explained, your voice trembling with passion. "I need time to think about my feelings and figure things out."

He chuckled gently. "I think you're being dramatic." Joel's giggle broke the tension, leaving you taken aback and irritated. The lump in your throat became bigger as tears welled up in your eyes, and your heart ached from the burden of his words.

"You don't understand," you exclaimed, your voice shaking with emotion.

"Then make me!" he exclaimed. "I thought you were going to be happier without him, but it seems like you're just a gosht."

"Oh my god, I'm sorry for being sad over the fact that the man I was married to for the last years of my life built another family behind my back as if I were nothing!"

"Dwight doesn't deserve you; he never did," Joel said.

As Joel's remarks hung in the air, a tight silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the sound of your heavy breathing. His attempts to lighten the situation had only deepened the wound in your heart, leaving you feeling even more alone and misunderstood than before.

The tears that had been threatening to spill over finally let loose, running down your cheeks in silent streams as you battled to control yourself. Joel's words were like a punch in the face, a burning reminder of the treason and heartache you'd experienced at Dwight's hands.

"Oh, and who deserves me then?" You said, "Tell me; I want to know."

Joel just stated, "Someone better,” deep down knowing it was him.

"Like you?" you questioned.

"You can trust me," he reassured.

"No, I can't because I don't know you!" you stated.

"I'm the same Joel you met," he said back, trying to stop the storm from coming between you both.

"The one who became a ghost or broke my heart? Which one?" you demanded, tears welling up in your eyes.

"Look, I understand you are afraid of things, but if you think I'm going to say I wish I could get back in time and regret having my daughter for one second, you're crazy." He merely pointed out,

You chuckled as tears flowed down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away, attempting to remain calm as you stared at Joel, hoping for some form of understanding.

"I never wanted you to regret having Sarah," you replied quietly, your voice tinged with sadness. “I know she's the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Joel's face softened in reaction to your words, with an instant of guilt running through his eyes as he saw the pain on your face. He reached out carefully, his hand gliding in the air between you as a silent gesture of comfort and understanding.

As Joel's palm finally touched yours, a sense of warmth and connection poured over you, spanning the gap that had threatened to separate you. In that moment, you sensed a glimmer of joy and a fresh belief in the possibilities of mending and healing.

"I know," Joel said quietly, his voice full of honesty. "And I am grateful for her every day. But that doesn't change how I feel about you or us. He paused. "Actually, there's something I need to confess." 

"What do you mean?" you inquired, your tone barely above a whisper.

Joel took a long breath, his gaze never leaving yours as he began speaking. "Do you remember those nights I was working late? I wasn't only working, Doe. I was saving money."

Confusion flared in your eyes as you attempted to process his words. "Save money? For what?"

"For a ring," Joel said, his voice full of remorse and vulnerability. "I was planning to propose to you."

The air in your lungs became still as Joel's words sank in. Joel had kept this secret from you all these years, while you were struggling with self-esteem issues.

Tears welled in your eyes. "Did you buy before I left that night we broke?" you whispered, your voice thick with emotion.

He nodded. "I wanted everything to be perfect," Joel confessed, his eyes filled with grief. "But then... things got complicated." "And I thought... I thought I had lost my chance with you." 

"But you let me go," you stated, sounding weak due to the weight of your words, heavy with the distress of the past.

Joel's face softened, and his eyes reflected the grief that filled his heart. "I know, and I'll always regret that," he said, his voice tinged with sadness.

His eyebrows seemed to furrow with remorse as he took a look at your intense stare. "I was a coward," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. "I let my fear control me, and in doing so, I lost the most important thing I had in my life."

The vulnerability in Joel's admission resonated with the ache in your own heart. For years, you had carried the weight of his absence, wondering what could have been if only he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I should have fought for us," Joel continued, his gaze locked with yours. "But I was too afraid of losing you, so I let you slip away."

“I need space, Joel,” you said. “And I deserve to be loved, so I’m not going to follow you or anybody else unless you show me that.”

Joel's shoulders sagged with the weight of your words, his eyes reflecting a mixture of regret and understanding. "I understand," he whispered, his voice heavy with remorse. "You deserve to be loved, and I've failed you in that regard."

As you spoke, a sense of clarity washed over you, a realization that you owed it to yourself to prioritize your own healing and well-being. You had spent too long waiting for someone else to validate your worth, and now you were ready to take control your choices.

"I won't ask you to follow me," Joel replied, his tone filled with resignation. "But I hope that someday I can show you the love and respect you deserve."

As you walked downstairs, the weight of your decision weighed heavily on your shoulders. Each step seemed like a bitter reminder of the past and an uncertain future. But with every stride, you felt a fresh resolution grow within you—a drive to reclaim control of your own life.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, you paused to collect your thoughts before heading toward the door. The sound of your footsteps echoed in the still room, providing an abrupt contrast to the turbulent emotions racing within you.

However, as you reached for the doorknob, a voice stopped you in your tracks.

"Doe, wait."

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish.

You turned to see Joel standing in the doorway, his expression full of anguish. His eyes pleaded with you, silently begging for the opportunity to set things right.

"I need to go," you replied, just above a whisper. "I cannot stay here, Joel."

Joel took a step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "I understand," he replied, his voice tinged with regret. "You need space, but I have to tell you this before."

You hesitated, divided between the urge to leave and the need to hear Joel's words. With a disturbed heart, you nodded, quietly encouraging him to speak.

"I made a mistake that night," Joel said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I should've fought for you, Doe. I should have told you how much you meant to me instead of letting you leave."

You broke down in tears when you heard Joel's confession. For years, you had felt the weight of his absence, wondering if things could have turned out differently if he had been brave enough to fight for you.

"I'm sorry," Joel said quietly, his voice barely audible. "I'm so sorry for letting you go." He breathed in. "So that's why I'm doing this now."

“What?” you asked.

You furrowed your brow, attempting to make sense of his captivating comment. Before you could utter another word, Joel closed the distance between you, his movements swift yet gentle.

In an instant, his lips touched yours in a delicate kiss—a muttered plea for forgiveness and a promise of reconciliation. The world around you appeared to fade away as the warmth of his touch embraced you, washing away the layers of doubt and uncertainty that had tortured your heart for so long.

Joel knew words weren’t enough for you right now, and this swift action was the only way he found to pour and show all the love and promises he couldn’t save those years, being sealed in this very right moment.

Not letting you go this time was his first attempt to bring you back and offer you the life and love you deserved.

For a little moment, time stood still, and all that mattered was what you shared with Joel—a bond that transcended through the years.

Joel pulled away, his gaze fixed on yours, looking for any sign of recognition. His breath merged with yours, stealing what he believed was his. A silent exchange of emotions spoke volumes without the use of words.

"I can't let you go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not again, please stay with me," he pleaded, holding your face with his hands. 

Joel's words lingered heavily in the air, echoing his desperation and need. You noticed a genuine desperation in his request, one that mirrored your own. You had ached for reassurance of his love for so long, and now as he stood before you, baring his soul, you couldn't resist the pull of your heart toward him.

"I don't want to leave," you said, just above a whisper. "But I need to know that this time is different, Joel. I need to know if you are willing to fight for us."

Joel nodded; his eyes full of purpose. "I am," he declared, his voice filled with passion. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to prove to you that you're the one I want, now and always."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you met Joel's soulful gaze and noticed the depth of his love and honesty reflected in you. You lifted your hand while taking in the warmth of his face under your fingertips.

Feeling the warmth of Joel's touch under your fingertips, you took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Despite the overwhelming rush of love and longing, you knew that you needed time to process everything that had happened—to settle the chaos in your heart and mind.

"I need time," you admitted, your voice trembling slightly with emotion. "Time to process everything that's happened, time to heal, and time to figure out what I want."

Joel's expression softened, and his gaze filled with understanding. "I understand," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frazzled nerves. "Take all the time you need, baby. I'll be here waiting for you, I promise.”

Sarah

 “Guys, it worked! They talked things out!”

Tara

No way! Seriously?

Tommy

So, my lie worked? What happened?

Sarah

They kissed! My dad is over the moon!

Tara

 OMG, really?! I can't believe it!

Tommy

Wow, I didn't think our little plan would actually work.

Sarah

We just needed to give them a little push.

Tommy

We? I lied for you little girls.

Tara

I'm so happy for them. They belong together.

Tommy

Yeah, they do. Let's just hope they figure things out soon.

tags 💌: @joeldjarin @missladym1981 @yomiyasxx @aliengirl99 @lola8888673 @nottodaysattan @picketniffler @violinchick @sadgirlcheesecake @caitlynsixxx @luvwanda @sarahhxx03

[04mxfutbol]

You Are In Love (Ashley Sanchez x Reader)

A/N: This was requested by @redbullfanatic and I just want to say that I loved writing this! (: I hope you like it, and I hope everyone does as well (: I also hope I did it justice 🫡 also I’m sorry this took me like forever to finish 😭 (crossing my fingers and praying I did it justice)

P.S I’m nervous sweating for this 🥲 lmaoo

Oh and I highly recommend listening to You Are In Love by Taylor Swift while reading this, and make sure the repeat one song option is on 👀

You never understood why people fell in love, never understood how someone could love another person so much. You certainly didn't think you'd fall in love with someone, or understand what everyone said about falling in love.

It never crossed your mind that you could fall in love, but seeing your friends, teammates, be in love with their significant other it started crossing your mind.

Crossing your mind just a little more often, crossing your mind every time you were with the one person who understood you more than yourself.

Your best friend.

It was a late night during the season. You and Ashley had drove to your favorite spot after training, where stargazing was the only time you two seemed to enjoy each others company just a bit more.

And although you both played for the same team, you both always seemed to be caught up on something new.

“You’re like literally the best, best friend I’ve ever had.” Ashley says as she lays her head on your shoulder.

“You’ve had others before me? I feel so betrayed, hurt.” You say jokingly. "Wounded."

“See you’re just the best.”

“Well I am the best.” You say with a smirk. "No one better than me baby."

“Easy now. Don’t be too cocky. I can easily give your spot to someone else.”

“Who? Trin? The girl who can’t cook to save her life. Who’d bake you your sweets when you’re sad.”

“Damn you're so right. I guess I'll have to keep you around." Ashley says jokingly.

"You guess? Wow. I didn't know this side of you Ash."

"You know I appreciate you."

"Appreciate me? Oof. Shot after shot Ash. Come on Ash you love me." You say wrapping your arm around her. "Say it."

"You're so weird sometimes." Ashley says as she pushes you away.

"You love me, say it."

"No."

"Say it."

"No."

"Say it."

"Y/N no."

"Come on Ash say it."

"Another day when you're not threatening me."

"Threatening? So dramatic." You say shaking your head.

Bickering. It's what best friends do. And it went on the whole night.

Ashley never gave in to your ‘threat’ that night.

But that was months ago.

- - - -

You always heard that being in love was something so unique, so magical, so special. They said that falling in love would make you understand what all the fuss was about.

Apparently it also made people crazy, which made you absolutely terrified. How can love make someone crazy? Crazy in love?

It terrified you, how could love make someone crazy? Fears of loving someone was always on your mind.

Because how is that possible? Is it even possible? To be crazy in love?

Is it?

Another question that was constantly crossing your mind.

"Are you listening to me?" Rose asks you.

"I am yeah." You say turning to face her, giving her all your attention.

"So as I was saying, I told Pinoe to grab me food before the game and she forgot it!" Rose shouts, hands on your shoulders as she shook you.

"Devastating." You say shaking your head.

"So much." Rose says with a sigh, defeated, she laid back on the couch. "I was hungry."

Some of the girls from the national team met at Trinity's apartment the night before the gala you would all be attending.

You glanced up and saw Ashley laughing at whatever Trinity was saying. Typical.

"So how's this side of the country treating you?" Rose asks you with a smile. "Good I hope?"

"Good indeed." You answer, looking at Rose with a smile. "I'm liking it here."

Rose smiled at you then looked up at the ceiling, you glanced at Ashley once again only to see that she was looking at you. She smiled at you, the look on her face seemed different, but nevertheless you smiled back and looked back at Rose.

"How's Seattle treating you?" You ask, leaning back on the couch beside Rose.

"You know what? I absolutely love it there, although I don't get enough sun as you can clearly see, but still I love it there." Rose says looking at you.

"Good, you deserve that. A city that truly appreciates you." You say, Rose smiles at you as she hugs you.

"You know Ash, I say tomorrow at the gala we find a good dancing partner." Trinity says as she puts her arm around Ashley.

"That's why I have you though? Right?" Ashley says confused.

"Oh, you're right, crap. Damn you're a terrible dance partner then." Trinity says and laughs.

"Fuck you." Ashley says with a chuckle as she punched Trinity on the arm.

"You're too easy to mess with." Trinity says.

"Whatever." Ashley says as she then glanced at you, but you were so focused talking to Rose you didn't notice.

The night went on for hours, yet you and Ashley had yet to catch up since you had gotten back from your trip. It would have to wait until the following night.

- - - -

It was finally gala night. Everyone dressed nicely, all ready to enjoy the night. Or at least get through the night.

"Are you okay? You're so out of it, come on we have to go inside."

"I'm fine, I'm just tired and want to be in bed."

"Typical."

You walked into the ballroom where many players of the league had already arrived. Luckily for you the gala was being hosted in the same city you played for.

So here you were, alongside your good friend Naomi.

“Nervous?” Naomi asks you as she walks right beside you.

“A little?” You say with a nervous laugh. “It’s our second year but having to socialize is not something I want to do.”

“At least you’ll be able to reunite with Ashley. She said you two haven’t talked since the season was over?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“Right.”

“I have!” You exclaim.

“You two play for the same team, what do you mean you’re busy. Also she’s literally your best friend.” Naomi says as she pulls you to the side.

“I have brand stuff.”

“You’re such a bad liar.” Naomi says shaking her head. “Come on let’s go take a seat.”

You followed Naomi, trying your hardest to not make eye contact with anyone because socializing was something you were trying to avoid.

“Y/N! Where were you! I thought we were coming together.” Trinity says as she hugs you from behind.

“I had to wait for Naomi to get ready, she takes a long time.” You say turning to look at Naomi.

“Don't try putting this on me, I didn’t take long, you were the one who couldn’t find their shoes.”

“Sounds about right.” Trinity says with a laugh. “Ash is looking for you. She’s been looking for you the whole time we’ve been here.”

“I forgot to text her I was getting here late.” You say as you pull your phone. “Yikes, I didn’t see her calls or messages. Whoops.”

“She’s with Sophia and Rose, I think they were grabbing drinks.” Trinity says and you nod.

“Alright, alright. Let’s get this started! Grab the person beside you and let’s dance!” The DJ shouts, as they put some upbeat music.

“Come on.” Trinity says pulling you by the arm and towards the dance floor. “You can look for Ash later.”

“My worst nightmare.” You groan as you’re pulled onto the dance floor. “I’d rather go get a drink.”

“Too late.” Trinity shouts as she starts dancing. “Come on Y/N, dance!”

"Isn't Ash your dancing partner?" You ask.

"Oh well, she's not here and you are, so for now dance with me."

You looked around and saw everyone dancing, you couldn’t just stand there like a statue. You took a deep breath and began to let go, the music filling your ears and you started to dance to the music.

“There we go!” Trinity shouts as she grabs your hands. “Ash is going to kill me for making you dance with me.”

“No she won’t.”

“Oh she most definitely will, she wants to talk to you.” Trinity shouts just enough for you to hear and you furrow your eyebrows.

“About?”

“She didn’t tell me but she said she wanted to talk to you. Seemed important if you ask me.”

“Huh.” You hummed.

“You two have been so weird. What secrets do you guys have hidden?” Trinity asks you which makes you laugh.

“There's no secrets.” You say confused.

Well it may have been a tiny lie. Well you kept a secret, not just from Trinity but also from Ashley, and well just about everyone.

After dancing with Trinity for a good amount of time, you stepped away and went to grab a drink. The lights were dimmed, just enough to know where you were walking.

Heading towards the bar, you bumped into teammates and friends, stopping and chatting before you finally got to the bar. Once at the bar you asked for a drink, non alcoholic, because you didn’t want to say or do anything you’d regret the following morning.

You grabbed your drink and stood in the back. Searching for Ashley.

As you took another sip from your drink you had finally spotted Ashley, who just so happened to look up. You smiled and waved at her, in the darkened room you could still see her beautiful eyes, she smiled at you and subtly waved at you.

“You know you can’t avoid her forever.” Naomi says, startling you.

“Oh my god, you scared me.” You say as you clutch your drink.

“You should tell her you know. You two have been best friends since like forever. Since before I met you, and I met you at college.” Naomi says. “You should tell her you l-.”

“Ah ah ah. I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re best friends. We hang out together and we bake cookies sometimes. We watch movies and we cry together, well she cries to sad dog videos.” You say nonchalantly.

“Your eyes say something else.” Naomi says softly as she reaches for your hand.

“My eyes say I don’t want to be here.”

“If that’s what helps you get through the day.” Naomi says patting your back. "But if you were to ask me, I see something else."

You took another sip, thanking yourself as you chose correctly in asking for a non alcoholic drink. You looked around the room once again and saw Ashley from afar. But looked away as soon as she looked up.

Naomi caught a glimpse in Ashley’s eyes, her face. Naomi smiled as she looked at you.

“The eyes never lie.” Naomi whispers to you as she walks away.

Ashley looked at you the entire night. Wondering why you still hadn’t gone to talk to her.

“You told her right? That I wanted to talk to her.” Ashley asked Trinity.

“For the billionth time Ash, I did. I told her.” Trinity says. “Is it that important?”

“Not necessarily I suppose.” Ashley says with a sigh.

“You know what could help the whole you two avoiding each other for like a couple of weeks now?”

“What?”

“You maybe telling Y/N that you know.. you kind of, maybe, well.. that you l-.”

“Nope.” Ashley says cutting Trinity off before she could finish her sentence. “You give me terrible advice.”

“Says the one who can’t talk to her best friend because she’s too scared.” Trinity says.

“I’m not scared. I’m just waiting.”

“Waiting for what? A sign?”

“Maybe.”

“You got mad at her for taking her shirt off in front of you after you had flicked a ton of flour on her. Ash, babe. Best friends don’t get mad. Plus she’s done that plenty of times in front of you, in front of like everyone, like in the locker room when we all change. And for you to suddenly get mad.. Please, I’m not dumb.” Trinity says as she takes a sip of her drink. "Or blind. There's only one reason that could make it all make sense to me. And I'm sure I'm right."

"She's my best friend. If it's what I'm thinking you're thinking, you're completely wrong Trin."

"Friends to lovers, you gotta love that." Trinity says with a smirk. "On a serious note, who says she doesn't feel the same way."

"I say." Ashley says. "And I never said I feel that way."

"You kind of just gave it away. Also, I think you both feel it and know it deep down." Trinity whispers as she looks up and sees you talking to Naomi. “You both have that look, I just think neither of you realize it or maybe don’t want to see it. OR maybe you two are just clueless. You guys just need a little push.”

"I hate you." Ashley whispers.

"You gotta love me though, or else who would help sad little you." Trinity says patting the top of Ashley's head.

Later on in the night as you were sitting you felt arms wrap around you. You looked up and saw Ashley was the one hugging you.

“Hey.” You say as you hug Ashley back, grabbing her hands.

“Hey.” Ashley says with a smile.

“What’s up?”

"Nothing. Wanted to say hi." Ashley says as she lets go.

“Trinity said you wanted to talk?” You say.

“Oh yeah well I just wanted to ask you if you were coming but you’re here so my question has been answered.” Ashley says with a smile.

“Oh, well, do you want to go out and get some fresh air?” You ask and she nodded.

You grabbed your coat before walking out, knowing she’d get cold soon enough.

“What are they up to?” Sophia asks Trinity.

“I don’t even know anymore. They’re so not… themselves.” Kelley says as she grabs food off of Sophia’s plate.

"They do know we were right here, right?" Rose asks as she looked at the rest of the girls.

"I'm going to be honest, I highly doubt they even noticed us." Trinity says. "They seem to forget that there's other people around these days."

"What do you know?" Sophia asks Trinity, turning around to get a read on her face. "Oh you know something."

"I'm an observer yes, I'm also nosy. Unfortunately this time, I know nothing. Yet."

As you walked out, you both felt the cool breeze on your skin.

“I’m cold.” Ashley says immediately.

“I knew you’d say that, which is why I brought my coat.” You say as you help Ashley put on your coat.

“Thank you.” Ashley says with a smile, buttoning up the coat you had brought out for her.

“That’s what best friends are for.” You say with a smile. “Plus I know you always get cold.”

You both stayed silent, watching people walk by the street.

“So..” Ashley says filling in the silence.

“So?” You ask.

“The gala is great so far don’t you think?”

“Yeah, no it’s been great. I like seeing everyone I don’t usually get to see.” You say nodding.

There’s silence again.

You turned to look at Ashley, something in the look she had made, made you wonder so many things. Could it be? Were you just maybe imagining things?

Yeah. You had to be imagining things. Right? But maybe not? You couldn't prove it, but maybe, just maybe you were seeing just enough to know.

“I like your necklace it’s pretty.”

“Thank you, it was a gift.” Ashley says with a smile and you nod. “I’ve missed you. I know we see each other like a lot but I miss having my best friend around. So we can do things together.”

“Has Trinity not been of any help?” You ask.

“She’s a terrible baker.” Ashley says with a laugh, you laughed as well, knowing well that Trinity was in fact not a good baker.

“I’m sorry I’ve had to put you through such a difficult situation.” You say sarcastically. “You poor poor thing.”

“Shut up.” Ashley says with a laugh, as she lightly punched you. “But it’s been such a pain. I hope you don’t leave me for that long again.”

“I won’t I promise.”

“Good.”

You both smiled and stayed silent again.

The silence wasn't awkward, there was no tension. It felt nice, even though there was silence, you both felt at peace, felt comfortable.

Silence. But this time, this silence was beginning to feel different than before.

You were both realizing it. A different type of silence. A silence you both had never felt.

After a short while, standing in silence, you both walked back inside. But shortly after the Gala was over you had to talk to Naomi.

“Do you mind going with Trinity back to her apartment? Ash and I are going for a drive.” You whisper.

“Drive? Did you tell her that I said that the eyes never lie.” Naomi asks.

“No. We're just heading back to change real quick and then going on for a drive. We haven't seen each other in a while, you said it yourself. We're going to catch up." You say truthfully.

"Okay then. Don't be out too late though." Naomi says and you nod.

After the gala was over, you and Ashley went back to your apartment, changing into some comfier clothes, then heading back out.

"It's a beautiful night out." Ashley says as you drive.

"It always is." You say as you take a quick glance at Ashley who was looking out the window.

"So where are we going? We have lots of catching up to do." Ashley says turning back around.

“I say we go where we usually go. Deal?”

“Sounds great.”

"I do feel like this is going to be a long drive, should we maybe get coffee?"

"My weakness, yes please. There's a drive thru coffee shop a couple of blocks down, it's open 24/7."

"Well bless their souls for being open at midnight." You answer as you drive to the coffee shop.

Once you both had your coffee, you drove down to the closest but also furthest place from town, away from so many lights. To a beautiful scenic view.

You put your hand out, setting it on Ashley’s thigh.

“What?” Ashley asks as she takes a sip of her coffee.

“Hold my hand won’t you.”

“Why?”

“When did you start asking so many questions? You just take my hand. Just hold it you weirdo.” You say as you shake your hand.

Ashley held onto your hand, it felt like you were in high school again. Sneaking out to get snacks and going out for a drive.

The rest of the drive was left in a comfortable silence. Nothing out of the ordinary, just comfortable silence, and the sound of the wind coming through the windows.

You turned for another quick glance, but this time Ashley was looking at you as well. You smiled and looked back at the road.

"What?" Ashley asks as she started to giggle nervously.

"Nothing."

"You're being weird."

"I'm being weird? You're being weird." You say with a laugh.

At the next stop you turned and saw the light of the traffic light reflecting off of Ashley’s necklace.

“I like your necklace.”

“Well you gave it to me for my twenty second birthday.” Ashley says with a smile.

As you arrived, you took out the blanket out from the backseat.

“See I’m grateful you have a truck, but not those big ugly trucks. Just a cool, small truck.” Ashley says, you turn around and look confused.

“What?” You ask with a laugh. “It’s a Toyota Tacoma.”

“Yeah a nice truck.” Ashley says and you laugh.

You continue laughing as you open the back, placing the blanket, then go back to the backseat and grab some pillows.

“Come on.” You say as you extend your hand out to help her on.

Ashley grabbed onto your hand as she got on, coffee still in her hand. You both laid down, legs extended out as you both looked up.

“I love when we come out and stargaze.” Ashley whispers as she pulls on the second blanket. “It’s always so pretty.”

“To get out of all the noise in the city?” You ask.

“That and being able to just stare at the sky with you in silence. Because even when we’re hanging out and it’s silent it’s still so enjoyable.” Ashley says as she turns on her side to face you.

You sat up to take another sip of your coffee, no way you were sleeping anytime soon.

Ashley sat up as well, taking a sip from her coffee as well.

And although there was pure silence, somehow it was also loud.

Naomi’s words were stuck in the back of your mind the whole time, maybe that was what was loud.

“The eyes never lie.”

As you both sat up, Ashley looked down at her hands, she was fidgeting with her fingers. You knew that meant she was nervous.

“Hey, what’s going on? What’s making you so nervous?” You ask, but Ashley didn’t look up. “Ash? Look up. Look at me. What’s going on?”

You scooted closer to her as she looked up and your shoulders brushed against each other.

You grabbed her hand, while looking at her worryingly. Ash was never one to get nervous or anxious when you were around.

“The eyes never lie.”

Naomi’s words ringing in your mind. If there were a mute button on those words, you’d press it immediately.

“I-.” Ashley stopped herself from speaking, you furrowed your eyebrows. “I-.”

“Ash?”

For once Ashley couldn’t speak, couldn’t say what she wanted to say. She was starting to get irritated with herself.

You’re her best friend. Ashley thought. Why was it so hard to talk to you?

“Ash? Ash you’re kind of scaring me here.” You say, Ashley sighed as she placed her hand on your cheek.

That single touch, your heart felt like it was about to jump out.

Ashley was aware of what she had done but her mind, her heart was racing.

And in the silence, the look in each others eyes. You both could hear it, feel it.

While staring at one another, no one chose to speak.

Silence.

And in the silence, you knew. You both knew.

You cupped her face with your hands and then leaned in, connecting your lips with hers.

You both moved in synch, you couldn’t seem to pull away. Neither of you could pull away. As you both kissed in what seemed liked a long awaited kiss, the silence only made it so much clearer to you.

You were in love.

In love with your best friend.

Finally after pulling away, Ashley rested her forehead against yours, bumping her nose against yours, pecking your lips once again before actually pulling away.

Neither of you said a word, the silence seemed to say it all for you both. You grabbed her hand again and just closed your eyes for a few seconds.

The kiss wasn’t awkward, the silence was comfortable.

Ashley rested her head on your shoulder as you both looked at the view in front of you.

“I like you.” Ashley whispers.

“I like you too. If me reciprocating wasn’t clear.” You say softly making Ashley giggle.

You weren’t just going to admit you loved her, not like this. And although you definitely knew, you weren’t going to say those three words just yet.

Ashley smiled as she grabbed your hand, lifting it up and kissing the top of your hand.

Ashley felt her heart pound, but also feeling how at ease she felt with you. Holding your hand this time was not the same as before, this time she knew you had felt the same way.

The drive back was peaceful, comfortable. Still, neither of you had said another word but there seemed to be no awkwardness or tension.

It just felt right.

"I'm going to take you out tomorrow. A real date." You say right before you both went to your separate bedrooms.

"Let's see if you remember that tomorrow morning."

"I'll remember don't you worry."

As you both laid in your separate beds, the bedrooms across each other, you were both staring at the ceiling.

Ashley silently cheered as she kicked her feet against the mattress. She covered her face with a pillow, although no one could see her she hid as if someone could. Her smile never fading away.

You were smiling at the ceiling, hoping and wondering if Ashley was maybe just as giddy as you were. You pulled your blanket over your face, smiling as wide as you possibly could.

The two of you seemed to not get enough sleep. Replaying the entire night over and over in your heads. Or it was possibly the coffee you both had. Definitely the first thing though.

The following morning you got up bright and early to try and make breakfast, but seeing as you weren’t home for a while. There were barely any groceries, mostly just bread, so toast it was.

"Something smells burnt." Ashley says groggily as she lifted her head up from the table.

Burnt toast.

"I have a broken toaster, you can't blame me." You say turning around. It was a lie, well half lie. It was a broken toaster, but you had forgotten you had put toast. Too distracted by looking at her.

Messy hair and a smile on her face as she stretched.

"I like your shirt."

"Thanks it's comfy. Oh and yours." Ashley smiled as she spun around.

"My clothes do look good on you. Good sleep?"

"The best, oh and I'm keeping this shirt." Ashley says as she walks over to you. "Burnt toast on a Sunday type of day I suppose."

"It's my specialty." You say with a smile, Ashley stepped to the side and jumped on the counter. "I'll make a good breakfast with what I can find, and not burnt."

Ashley smiled as she swung her legs.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you have a target picture frame of a family stock photo on your coffee table."

"I haven't gotten to it yet okay? I can't find a worthy picture of going in the picture frame. It has to be nice, pretty, and something I love."

"So a family stock photo is better than an empty picture frame?" Ashley asks.

"Umm, yes."

"You're so weird."

"Well you kissed this weirdo last night." You say turning around to face her.

"Touché."

Although technically you two weren’t official yet, it felt like you two had been together for years now. I guess that's the advantage of being best friends for many years now.

You walked over to Ashley, a smile on both her face and yours. You stood in front of her, in between her legs, big smile on your face.

“I like you.” You say as you leaned in.

“I like you.”

“But we established that already didn't we." You say with a smile, Ashley simply nodded. "Date. Tonight."

"You remembered." Ashley says sounding surprised.

"Hey I keep my word, so tonight. Date?"

"Date."

"Great." You say then lean in to give her a small kiss.

You didn't know if it would get better than this, but if it did, then maybe you would understand everything everyone always said about being in love.

- - - -

Three months. Three months of being officially together, and you had to say they were by far the best three months of your life.

You asked Ashley to be your girlfriend on your third date, it was an unforgettable night.

Today though, today you were out with friends, and with your girlfriend beside you.

"You're so pretty." Ashley whispers as you walked behind the rest of the girls.

"You're beautiful."

Forgetting you were with other people, you stopped on the sidewalk to kiss her.

"We're going to leave you both here, with no ride home." Trinity shouts.

"Come on before they actually leave us." Ashley says pulling away.

"One more." You say with a smile, pulling her back into you and kissing her again.

"Y/N."

"I had to get one more." You say with a grin.

You walked hand in hand, swinging your hands as if you two were in your own little world. In your minds, you obviously were.

Today had made up from the fight you guys had the week before about some absurd miscommunication mishap. Well it wasn't absurd, you thought it was, which is probably why you had gotten into a fight, but you stayed up all night talking and trying to get Ashley to stop being mad at you.

So here you were, going shopping with her and the girls, and that meant buying her a few things. But buying her things isn't what Ashley wanted, she just wanted to spend time with you and your group of friends.

After a long shopping spree, you returned to your apartment. Which was becoming yours and Ashley's apartment, having more and more of her stuff magically appear. But you were loving it.

You loved her, but you weren't telling her yet, not yet. Because as much as it did, you knew those three words are so powerful and mean a lot.

As you got home the first thing you both had gone to do was lay on the bed, and as you both did, you both looked up at the ceiling, music in the background.

Ashley turned to look at you, a smile on her face as she saw you had closed your eyes.

She was going to say it, say those three words. Tell you that she has loved you all this time but didn't want to rush it, she was about to tell you that when she sees you all she feels is warmth and love.

But she held back, wondering if it was too early to say it.

But how could it be early when you both had loved each other for longer than you had initially thought.

Nevertheless you both didn't say it that night.

- - - -

Six months now, six beautiful months. It seemed like the more time passed by, the happier you got, you never thought this much happiness was real. You thought it was all fairytale talk, but it wasn't.

Ashley opened her eyes in the middle of the night, the thoughts in her head couldn't let her sleep. You were also awake, the thoughts in your head also couldn't let you sleep.

The both of you looked up at ceiling, not a single word was said as you held hands.

A few minutes later you both turned on your side, you both looked at each other, the look on Ashley's face was strange, different. You smiled softly at her as she still looked at you differently, you couldn't figure out the look on her face, but it didn't matter you still leaned into her touch.

"You're my best friend." Ashley whispers as she caresses your cheek. Leaning in to rest her forehead against yours. Her whole body seemed to relax in that moment.

It seemed like everything changed, and it definitely did.

You knew it then and there, her words, the strange look on her face, it all made sense.

You knew what it was.

You didn't say anything, you just embraced it all, the warmth, the pure bliss.

She was in love and so were you.

But neither of you had to say it, you both knew it right there. The moment she said it, she knew by your body language.

You both knew.

The silence filled the room again, but it was once again, a comfortable silence.

- - - -

One year. One year with Ashley and it was still as beautiful and magical as it was in the beginning.

So there you were, standing in the kitchen making breakfast for Ashley. You made pancakes with blueberries, trying your best to not burn anything this time.

As you finished plating the food, you felt arms wrap around you. You turned your head and kissed Ashley on the cheek.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, how long have you been up?" Ashley asks as she kisses your back.

"An hour at most." You answer as you flip the pancake.

"How are you not tired? We had training yesterday. And it was brutal."

"Oh I'm definitely feeling it, but nothing can stop me from making you breakfast." You say as you grab the plates and take them to the table.

"You could always sleep in with me."

"If I were to do that we'd be in bed until the afternoon because you never want to get out of bed." You say with a look.

"You’re acting as if you would actually get out of bed. You’re a liar. You know damn well you wouldn’t want to get out of bed either.”

“Okay true but my point still stands.” You say which resulted in Ashley making a weird face.

“No it really doesn’t.” Ashley says shaking her head. "Like at all."

You looked at Ashley, her smile could light up the whole city, you were sure of it.

The moment that went through your head you thought that was so corny, and mentally asked yourself, how did you get to this point?

So far everyone was right, love does make people crazy and apparently corny.

"Something smells burnt." Ashley says making your eyes widen.

"Crap. My toast."

"Oh the irony, burnt toast on a Sunday again."

“Well at least your pancakes are intact, my toast on the other hand, are definitely not intact. The price I pay for admiring you.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“Yes. You’re too distracting.”

“Was it my fault last week when you burnt your pasta? Because I can assure you I wasn’t home when that took place.”

“I was thinking of you.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Ashley says with a chuckle, slightly shoving you.

“You know, Trin says you keep a picture of me in your locker.”

“How can I not? I have one of you in my locker, in my car, in my wallet. The list goes on.”

“Ashley Sanchez is down bad everyone.” You say as you sit beside her. “And down bad for me.”

“You’re so right. I’m not even going to deny it.” Ashley says making you laugh. “But so are you, for me obviously.”

“I’d be crazy not to be.”

“You’re my person. I hope you know that.” Ashley says as she reaches for your hand. “And you always will be.”

“I feel the same way about you.”

Ashley smiled as she looked at you, her eyes shined in a way it had never shined before, eyes so bright and filled with love, admiration, everything.

Your heart was beating faster than normal, your eyes shined bright, you were sure your eyes were in the shape of hearts. How could someone be so beautiful, wonderful, kind, and just so utterly perfect. That someone was your girlfriend.

Even now you still couldn’t believe it.

After finishing breakfast, you both cleaned the apartment, and once that was finished you headed outside.

The entire front yard was covered in snow, the small attempted snowman was beside the door, rocks as the eyes and a piece of raw penne pasta as the nose. Ashley’s signature, as she couldn’t find a carrot in the fridge.

“I can’t believe it’s still snowing.” Ashley says as she looks up, eyes closed and tongue out as she tried to catch snowflakes.

“I can’t believe we train in this weather.” You say as you grab the snow shovel that was leaned against your car.

“Are you really going to shovel the snow right now? Come and make some snow angels with me.”

“If you want us to be stuck here tomorrow, sure.”

“It’s pre season training babe. Come, here I’ll even put some music on, I brought the speaker out. What do you want to listen to?”

“Anything you want.” You say as you shovel some of the snow while Ashley decided on a song.

“Great, Taylor Swift it is.” Ashley says as she presses play. “Now come, we don’t have to go in for training tomorrow.”

You looked up and saw Ashley dancing in the snow, you dropped the snow shovel and ran towards her. You lifted her up and spun her around.

The song playing didn’t register in your mind, so enchanted, so amazed, so mesmerized, and just so focused on what was currently happening.

All you heard was four words from the song.

You are in love

It was as if it was telling you, confirming it to you. What you were feeling was true and real. Then two more words confirmed it all.

True Love.

Ashley laughed as you spun her around, her hands in the air, you spun her around for a few more seconds before stopping.

You smiled, Ashley was still laughing at your antics of spinning her around.

Right then and there, you truly understood, you understood why people said falling in love was so magical, unique, so beautiful. You understood why people lost their minds.

Being in love was the best thing that could ever happen to someone.

Without even registering it, you said the three words you never thought you’d ever tell anyone. But you did.

“I love you.”

You understood why people fight for the person they love.

Because when you are in love, sometimes love can make you crazy. But in a good way.

You helped Ashley back on the ground, her hands went up to cup your face, a big smile as she read your face.

“I love you.”

You smiled as you wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her in for a kiss. Ashley laughed as she pulled away, her eyes were watery as she looked at you like you hung the stars just for her. She loves you.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for so long, deep in my heart I just always knew I loved you.”

“That makes two of us.” Ashley says as she booped your nose. “I love you. I truly do love you.”

The fears of loving someone were no longer around.

Because you knew, you knew that you are in love.

“I love you."

The song continued playing and replaying over and over. Probably because Ashley didn't know she accidentally pressed the 'replay one song' option. But maybe it was a good idea, because it became your song.

And inside your shared apartment, one day in the next three years, the target picture frame of a family stock photo on the coffee table would be replaced by a picture of you both on your wedding day, for every guest in your home to see. Someone you love was placed in the picture frame, you just had to wait, and it was worth the wait. You always wanted a worthy picture to be placed, a picture of something you loved, in this case it was someone you love.

Your wife.

That is life now. And you were happy it was the way it turned out to be, because it's beautiful and wonderful, magical. You knew what it was from the beginning, and you know now what you feel.

You are in love. True love.

[daisyblog]

Love at Wembley

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Harry asks YN to marry him at Wembley.

In the last twelve years, Harry had learnt a lot about YN. He’d learnt that she still needs a cup of tea before bed to fall asleep, or she’s up until the early morning tossing and turning.

He knows she still blasts One Directions and all their solo songs at every opportunity she gets, singing all the words and nagging both Harry and Louis about when they were going to get back together.

Her favourite song to listen to when she’s having a sad day or when she misses her Mum and sister even more is Angels by Robbie Williams.

Louis was her rock, they don’t go a day without talking or at-least texting each other. She doted on him and vice verse and Harry often feared how much she told Louis about their relationship, because if YN was anything shy didn’t cover it.

On the subject of not being shy, their sex life had only grown and got better as they aged. Harry had learnt that her favourite position was between doggy-style or missionary with Harry’s hand around her neck in a loose hold.

Another thing that Harry had learnt was that YN disliked anything that was romantically cringey, like being proposed to in Paris. Her words being “It’s just not special, everyone gets proposed to there” whilst watching a Tik Tok of a couple getting engaged whilst standing near the Eiffel Tower. Harry made a mental note of never proposing in a popular engagement location.

This brings him to this moment where he is walking through London with Louis and Jeff on his way to choose a ring for YN. He’s known for the last twelve years he wanted to marry her. But with fame, touring and losing important people, it never seemed like the right time to pop the question.

As they walk into the store that Harry has been researching for what feels like years. They’re met with more options than they imagined. He thinks back to the day he asked Louis permission to marry YN, because if he wanted anyone’s blessing it was his.

---

They were visiting Doncaster one weekend for the twins birthday and after the busy day of celebrating the twins turning nineteen, with lots of food, family, friends, Louis and Harry had found themselves sitting out in the garden together.

As Louis took a drag from the white stick he held between his fingers, Harry breaks the silence “I..uh…I wanna ask you something”.

Louis tilts his head to look at him and blows the smoke out from his lungs and flicks some ash off his cigarette end before responding “You can ask me anything mate”

Harry nervously turned his rings on his fingers, Louis hadn’t seen him this nervous for a long time. “I wanna ask YN to marry me…and…I guess what I’m trying to ask is for your permission”.

Louis took another long drag from the white stick, before blowing the smoke out in front of him and then scratching his cheek with his thumb and tried his best to keep a serious expression. Harry still anxiously twisting the rings that sat on his fingers.

Letting out a sigh, “All I can say is…it’s about fookin’ time man”, causing both men to look at each other and let out a laugh. “No ‘onestly you have my permission, blessing and whatever else you need”.

---

Bringing Harry back to the moment of where the three men sat in a consultation room, looking at the few options they had chosen. Louis had already said which one he thought YN would love. Jeff stating that YN would say ‘yes’ even if Harry proposed with a Haribo ring.

Harry stared down at the ring that sat delicately in the box in front of him. The small band held a diamond on top with a touch of green. He didn’t understand why Louis would be so adamant that YN would love this one.

“I still don’t understand why you think this is the one” Harry spoke with a tad of stress in his voice, picking up the box that held the ring to study it more.

Louis and Jeff shared a look before Louis let out an annoyed sigh. “Mate…please just listen to me…Lottie literally sent me all the photos of engagement rings that YN has sent to her of the last few years…and guess what they’ve all had a touch of green in them”.

Harry nervously played with his bottom lip with his fingers “Why green..I just don’t kno-“

Interrupting him, Jeff intervened “H..when you look in the mirror..what do you see?”

Harry look at his manager and friend with a scowl, confused by the questions.

“Uh myself” Harry sarcastically replied.

“And what do you look at yourself with?” Louis prompted.

Harry took a moment to think, before he had a lightbulb moment “Uhh..my eyes”. Louis and Jeff stared at him waiting for the moment where it clicked. “My eyes are green”.

“Well done Mate…you got there in the fookin’ end” Louis sarcastically said, earning a nudge from Harry. Harry couldn’t wipe the grin off his face at the new fact he had learnt. YN wanted a green ring to represent the colour of his eyes. How romantic. “She’s romantic and soppy when she wants to be”.

---

Harry wanted the moment to be special but with the last leg of the tour underway it was proving to be difficult. He wanted the moment to be just YN and him, but being on tour it was rare for them to have a moment to themselves.

He debated popping the question whilst he had a show in Coventry, as it was the first show in the UK but something was telling him it just wasn't the right moment. He considered asking her in Paris, but then remembered she hated the thought of it being in a popular location. He began to believe there was no right place, but being inside Wembley Stadium made him realise that this is where it all began for him. If he didn't go to an audition, he wouldn't have met the love of his life.

Anne, Des and Gemma had arrived along with Harry's auntie, uncle and cousins. They all knew Harry had planned to ask YN today, ahead of the show, but the suspence was eating at them.

There was a quiet spell before the opening acts took to the stage. Harry took this as his opportunity "Babe...will you come with me to the stage a second?". Anne and Gemma sent him an excited grin as Teddy was cuddled up on Gemma's lap, knowing this was the moment they had been waiting for, for the last twelve years.

YN followed Harry out to the hallway as they made their way to the stage, Harry's arms slung over her shoulder and the little box discreetly hidden in his short pockets.

As the walked out and took in the empty stadium, before the room was about to be filled, Harry stood behind YN, his arms wrapped around her front resting across her collarbones.

"I'm so proud of you Bubs" YN began as she leaned back into his hold "Four nights in Wembley..you've absolutely fookin' smashed it"

Harry leaned down a pressed a kiss to her cheek "It all started here for me..and to be back just feels so fucking incredible".

"It's crazy to think that if you and Louis didn't audition that year...we wouldn't even know eachother" YN thought out loud, her hands reaching up to hold onto Harry's that were still wrapped around her "Fook...I don't even want to think about that". YN reached in her pocket for her phone "Let's take a photo..I wanna remember this moment".

After YN snapped the selfie of her and Harry, she studied the photo for a second, before turning to show Harry. As she turned, she realised Harry was no longer standing behind her, but knelt down on one knee with a black box in his hand, holding the little ring that was about to be on her finger. Capturing the moment, Lloyd was hiding behind one of the black boxes, positioned to the side of the stage.

For once, YN stood still and speechless. Harry began the speech he had rehearsed in his head for the last few weeks.

"YN..baby..it's been twelve years since I made you mine and my life has never been better...I would love to let you know all the reasons why I love you...I love you because you make me laugh when I needed it most...I love you because you inspire me to be a better person...I love you because you are extremely patient with me during my lowest points...I love you because you are an amazing sister who loves and takes care of your family...I love you because I know you’ll also be a great mother to our children someday...I love you because you have dreams and you’re not afraid to go after it...I love you because you dare to be yourself and own who you are...I love you because of how the light shines each morning together...I love you because of how comfortable silence can be, with you...and most importantly, I love you so much that I’ll want to be with you forever and I hope you’ll say yes. Will you marry me baby?"

Tears flowed down YN's face, Harry had always made her feel loved and wanted but listening to him list all the things he loves about her, was overwhelming. YN leant down and held Harry's cheeks as she kissed him deeply. Lips moving together, YN mumbled "Yes".

Standing up, Harry took the ring from the box and placed it on YN's finger, both admiring the start of their commitment to each other. "You're gonna be Mrs Styles".

"And I can't fookin' wait" YN excitedly announced, before Harry cupped her face and brought her in for another kiss. Their lips together in sync, YN's top lip being squeezed between Harry's as he deepened the kiss and moving his hand to sit at the bottom of her back to pull her even closer.

Pulling apart, but their hands still attached to one another, they couldn't wipe the smiles from their faces. "I love you"

"I love you more...Mrs Styles to be"

liked by louist91, thephoebetomlinson, and 2,543,224 others

yntomlinson and harrystyles Mr and Mrs Styles to be👰🏻‍♀️🤵🏻 View all 15,677 comments

annetwist Congratulations my Darlings ❤️ I can now officially call you my daughter-in-law xx

jefezoff Congratulations Lovebirds!

mitchrowland Congrats guys!

gemmastyles I've finally got a sister 💕 Congratulations to my faves xx

niallhoran Finally!! Will I be bridesmaid or groomsman?😂

louist91 12 years too late!! Happy for you both xx

lottietomlinson I can't wait for the wedding prep! Love you both 🫶🏼🖤

the.daisytomlinson my sis is getting married 🤍

thephoebetomlinson omg! Sooooo excited😆

lloyddddddddddddddddd Congratulations! So glad I got to capture the moment.

pillowpersonpp The dream couple! Congratulations both

bradgouldtraining Yessss! Absolutely buzzing for you both ✌🏼

madidiaz Cuties! Congratulations both❤️

Tag List: (let me know if you would like to be added) @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats @harrysbbyh0ney fanfictioncafe lilfreakjez jerseygirlinca iamahallucinationnn @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @indierockgirrl @hittiesontour @or-was-it-just-a-dream

[hellishchrissy]

I think if you wrote something for Hellcheer inspired by Crush by Ethel Cain it would be amazing! 💖

I owe you a black eye and two kisses Tell me when you wanna come and get 'em

The relief in Chrissy’s chest was larger than life when she realized that Vecna was gone. Gone from her head were the visions of him, gone from her thoughts was his voice. The past few weeks she had denied herself the luxury of admitting that she was scared, terrified even. And though she fought against the feeling, the terror always slipped through the cracks in Chrissy’s mind. He was in the darkness when she tried to sleep, behind the trees she walked past. Sometimes she could’ve sworn that she saw him in the smile of her mother, in the blue of her eyes as she talked to Chrissy.

Vecna was dead. Eleven had killed him. Nancy had killed him. There was nothing left. Chrissy and Max had lived.

They lived.

Chrissy stumbled back, her arms reaching for Max. The younger girl obliged, and they crashed into an embrace. Chrissy let out a wail so guttural that it felt like it was violently ripping its way through her body, shaking her entire being. There was nothing joyful about the sound, nothing victorious about the way she and Max were both shaking in each others’ arms. Weeks worth of denied terror was washing over them both.

It took the others around 15 minutes to reach them. Nancy, Robin and Steve were the first ones to show up at the doorstep of the Creel house, their faces tainted with ash and blood and God knows what else. They were shaking, their fingers still clinging to their weapons, voices raised and frantic.

The following moments were a blur that Chrissy barely remembered later. There were so many voices, so many people hugging her shaking body, telling her she had been so brave, wrapping her with comfort that she didn’t quite know how to receive. There was an odd numbness spreading around her body, like she had cried out all her emotions right there in that God-forsaken attic, the heart of all her terror and trauma.

Guess the numbness was better than the pain.

The voices of the others were fading in and out around Chrissy, a muddled mess of half-formed sentences and crying in her ears. She tried to look like she was listening, like she was hanging on, floating in the empty space where her terror had once lurked. Chrissy didn’t feel real. None of it felt real, and she kept pinching her own skin until her nails tore the skin, the pain searing through her body. It felt good. It felt real.

God, Chrissy needed something real.

It was Nancy who eventually placed her hand on Chrissy’s shoulder, grounding her to reality as she pulled Chrissy slightly away from the others. “Chrissy,” Nancy started, her voice anxiously urgent but soft. “Eddie... He, uh—he tried to sacrifice himself.”

Chrissy’s breath caught in her throat. Her vision swam, her ears ringing with a sudden, deafening white noise. She had no desire to understand what Nancy was saying, and yet she knew that she had to get a fucking grip. “What?”

The word was like a cackle, so painful in her throat.

“He’s —he’s alive, I promise, but I just though you should know. Dustin got him out.” It sounded like Nancy was trying to talk in short, gentle sentences to help Chrissy out. Her grip on Chrissy’s shoulder tightened for a moment, grounding her to the present once more.

He’s alive. Eddie was alive. Chrissy knew that she should’ve felt utter relief from the words, but all she felt was anger rising in her chest, bubbling itself into existence in her veins. Eddie had never been the most rational guy, and he could be reckless, but to sacrifice himself? After everything they had been through? The relief Chrissy should’ve felt turned sour on her tongue.

“Where is he?” Chrissy demanded; her soft voice sharp with an edge that made Nancy pause.

It was Robin that pointed outside, her expression a mix of concern and hesitation. “He’s out by the van with Dustin. Chrissy, he—“

But Chrissy was already moving, her numb legs gaining their sensation as she did. She shoved herself through the front door, barely even registering the cool night air that hit her like a slap to the face. It took her only a few seconds to spot Eddie, slumped against the side of the van, a lit cigarette dangling from his bloody fingers. He looked utterly, completely exhausted. Dustin was talking to him, gesturing animatedly, but Eddie’s eyes were distant. He was somewhere else.

Chrissy stormed her way over, her legs heavy and unsteady underneath her, her breathing coming out in ragged bursts. “Eddie!” She shouted, her fragile voice cracking.

Eddie’s head snapped up at the sound of her voice, and Chrissy clocked his eyes widening in shock. “Chrissy? Oh, God—“

The rest of Eddie’s words died on his lips when Chrissy was on him, shoving him hard in the chest. The unexpected force made his back hit the van hard, his feet stumbling. The cigarette fell from his shaking fingers. “Fuck! What the hell, Chrissy—?“

“You — idiot!” Chrissy yelled, shoving him again. The words nearly got caught in her sore throat, tears welling up in her eyes. She was almost laughing, but most definitely sobbing as she started banging her fists against Eddie’s chest like a little child, shoving him with each bang. “You absolute — fucking — idiot! How could you do that? How could you even think—“

A litany of curses fell off Eddie's lips when Chrissy's trashing fists made contact with his left eye, sending sparks down his spine. His hands caught her wrists mid-aid, forcing her to stop her unexpected assault. His grip on her was firm but gentle, his brown eyes wide with confusion mixed with something else.

Guilt. “Chrissy, I —“

“You don’t get to do that!” Chrissy cried, her voice breaking. “You don’t get to — to leave! To just decide you’re going to die for all of us. For me. You don’t get to be the hero!”

Chrissy’s voice cracked on the last word, and she felt herself completely break. Her hands were still attempting to swing at Eddie, his hands still wrapped around her wrists to keep them still. And then, like he was taking a calculated risk, Eddie caught her in an embrace that felt more like a restraint. His arms wrapped around Chrissy, holding her still against her chest as she trashed and pushed against him like feral animal.

“No! Let me go, let me go!” Chrissy wailed, her voice rough and nearly gone as she trashed against Eddie.

“I’m sorry!” Eddie murmured against her ear; his voice rough.  “I didn’t — I just wanted to help.”

Like an animal tired of her own trashing, Chrissy’s fury melted into utter exhaustion. She felt herself collapse against Eddie’s chest, violent sobs ripping through her body. Her fingers gripped his jacket, her hands balled into fists.

Eddie smelled like smoke and metal and something distinctly Eddie. It grounded her, even if her sobbing was still shattering the silence of the night around them.

She pulled back slightly, her face flushed with a mix of anger and relief. Tears streaked down her cheeks, her breaths were ragged, and her fists were still clinging onto Eddie’s chest. Eddie looked down at her, his expression slowly softening despite the sting of her blows.

“You scared the hell out of me,” Chrissy choked out, voice trembling with the weight of everything she had been denying herself. “Do you even realizes how close you came to—“ She couldn’t finish the thought, her voice breaking under the strain.

A slow, almost incredulous smile was tugging at the corners of Eddie’s mouth, though he didn’t dare to laugh. “I’m sorry, Chris. I just —“ He trailed off, knowing that his words would fail him miserably.

Chrissy huffed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. Her expression was stuck between anger and something softer, something one could almost describe to be tender. “You are such an idiot, Eddie. A reckless — stubborn — idiot.”

They stood there, barely inches apart, the air between them thick with all the things they had left unsaid before. Eddie’s hand reached up, brushing against Chrissy’s tear-streaked cheek, his hand lingering against her skin as he looked at her. He nodded.

“I know. I’m an idiot. I know.” He said, the intensity of Chrissy’s gaze pinning him in place, frozen, just as he realized how close he’d come to losing her.

Without another word, Eddie moved closer, his thumb gently tracing the line of her jaw, pulling her to him. Eddie hesitated for another beat; his breath hitched as he slowly leaned in closer. Chrissy was close enough to taste, her lips almost on his as they breathed each other in.

After a second of hesitation, Eddie closed the gap between them entirely, his lips finding hers in a sudden, unspoken plea for forgiveness. The kiss was gentle at first, almost tentative, as if he was afraid that she’d disappear from under his touch. But when Chrissy responded, leaning into him with almost desperate urgency, Eddie’s hands slid to the back of her neck, pulling her closer.

When they finally broke apart, Eddie rested his forehead against Chrissy’s, both of them gasping for air but neither willing to let go. Eddie’s thumb brushed over her cheek again, a wordless reassurance that he was still here, that they were both standing.

“You’ve got me, Cunningham,” Eddie murmured, his forehead still pressed against hers. “You’ve got me.”

Chrissy nodded, trembling under his touch. “You’ve got me.”

Eddie kissed her again after that, softer this time, like he was sealing a pact only they could understand. And for the first time in what felt like forever, Chrissy allowed herself to believe that maybe they’d be alright.

Oh, I’d rather be with you Oh, I’d rather be with you 'Cause good men die too so I’d rather be with you

[lichpoweredbyfandoms]

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE END OF ARCANE SEASON 2

So uh…. the end of Arcane tore my heart out and shattered it into a million pieces. I may have blacked out and written a short, post-canon fic of Vi mourning for Jinx. Fic under the cut, or you can read it on ao3 here:

The dust from the war on Piltover had settled. Fires were extinguished, and bodies were buried. A worn hopefulness had spread over the city, broken bones held perfectly still with the slim chance they might mend. Everyone had lost something, and now only the question of what came next remained.

It was late at night, but Vi couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t been able to rest for more than a few hours at a time in the past few days. Most nights, she laid in bed besides Caitlyn, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, clinging to the reassurance that at least one person she loved was still here.

Silent feet hit carpet as Vi slipped out of bed. She let herself wander the Kiramman estate in silence. A ghost echoing through the hallway, haunted by the weight of all she’d lost.

At some point she found herself in the garden. The moonlight illuminated the array of flowers and trees that surrounded a marble water fountain. Vi settled herself at its edge, staring into the water. It shimmered blue, like the hextech crystals her sister had loved. Gentle ripples fanned out from its center with soft splashes, a mimicry of Jinx’s hair, loose and wild as it had been in the cell.

You’re never going to give up on me, are you? Another broken promise, another betrayal, another failure. It wasn’t fair. Vi had only ever asked for one thing. For her little sister to be safe right beside her. She wanted to cry and scream and throw things and rage against the entire fucking world until there was nothing left but ashes, because what was even the point if her sister wasn't-

“Vi?” A soft voice broke her from her thoughts. Caitlyn crouched down next to her, wearing a blue robe and a concerned expression. “Are you alright?”

Vi looked away. “I just needed to think.”

“You miss your sister, don’t you?” she asked as she sat beside Vi.

“She can’t just be gone, Cait.” Her voice cracked around the plea. “Not after all this.”

“What happened to her… I know it was unfair,” Caitlyn said softly, “but you can’t blame yourself. Jinx made her choice.”

“Well she chose wrong!” Vi snapped.

“Maybe. But it was still her choice. Don’t take that away from her.”

“She never really listened to me,” Vi said with a wet laugh, “not when it really mattered. No one could tell her what to do.”

Caitlyn smiled sadly. “Your sister had so much spirit. So much energy.”

“You don’t have to…” Vi sighed. “She killed your mom. You don’t have to pretend for me.”

“I think we’re all more than our worst actions. Your sister included.” Caitlyn reached down and took her hand. “I only wish I’d had the chance to know the side of her you saw.”

“She was so smart. Even when we were little kids. She was always screwing around with some gadget or other.” Vi shook her head with a fond smile. “It drove Milo crazy sometimes. And she was so… good. I know how that sounds now, with everything she did, but…”

“I understand. I saw how much she loved you, Vi,” Caitlyn murmured.

“She just wanted to help,” Vi said despairingly, “even when everything was falling apart, even after I abandoned her… all she wanted was family. That’s why Silco got to her. That's why she died. Because I failed.”

“You were just a child,” Caitlyn reminded her gently.

“So was she!” Vi’s shouting gave way to sobs. “She was just a kid. And now she- she won’t get the chance to be anything else.”

Caitlyn pulled her into a tight hug, and she collapsed into her girlfriend’s arms. Vi wept bitter tears for her parents, their broken dreams for a better world, for Mylo and Claggor, two street kids who could have been so much more than were allowed to be, for Vander, his undying devotion to them all. She wept for Powder, that earnest little girl, and for Jinx, that wild fighter, and for every person her sister ever had been and would never be. And Vi cried for herself- for a family that had gone up in flames twice, for the miserable years she’d spent alone, for the hope she’d stubbornly hung onto all these years that had plummeted into the abyss with her sister. Vi wept and shook and sobbed, letting out all her anguish, all her pain, until she finally reached a point where she had no tears left inside her. Nothing left to give.

“I’m sorry for making you deal with this,” she whispered into Caitlyn’s chest.

“It’s alright.” Her girlfriend pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ve got you. Always.”

[lady-of-tearshed]

Winds of change

Eris Vanserra centered

Eris Vanserra Week 2024

@erisweekofficial

Day 4 : Traditions

Summary: New ruler, new traditions, new ways of thinking. In this fic, Eris has to make his old tutor, Ms,Crawford, who is now tutoring his eldest son Aster, a clear reminder that the Autumn Court education system has changed. For the better.

Word count: 777 words (Ooooh, a lucky number! 🥰)

Warnings: Angry Eris.

Dividers made by @tsunami-of-tears 🤎

🔥Based on this prompt 🔥

Eris' head was still throbbing painfully from this endless progress update meeting about Autumn's new education system. He had spent a good thirty minutes in the quiet meeting room once everyone had left.

Once the headache subsided only slightly after a few deep breaths, Eris stood up, slowly, testing his balance. Once he felt stable enough to stand on his legs, he walked slowly around the large table occupying the center of the room. He pushed each chair back into its place, enjoying the last moments of peace he could get before switching to his second role: being a dad.

Eris only left the throne room when everything was clean and organized. A servant could've, and would've done it for him, sure. But leaving his work place clean also helped him to return home with a clear head.

His muscles were sore, his feets heavy as they dragged him through the endless corridors leading him to the Forest House, to his home, and his body craved yours. Desperately. But fate had other plans for him, it seemed.

Eris winced at the too familiar tempo of heels limping his way. He turned around to face the old hag that tutored him back in his young days and sighed. He truly wondered to himself why he had decided to keep her in this palace, why he hadn't cared to find a remplacement for her.

Probably because he had pitied her, sadly.

“High Lord,” Her voice was so whiny, nasally, that it only worsened Eris' headache. And temper.

“Talk with my assistant for an appointment, Ms.Crawford. I have things to do,”

Eris shoved her off, trying to hurry back to you and his kids-

“It's about Aster,”

The growl in her voice made Eris worry. He turned around, more willing to listen to her. He knew that Aster, his eldest, had quite a … heated temper. He was a troublesome boy, indeed, but very clever. Aster didn't really enjoy school, which Eris could understand, since himself wasn't very pleased to spend his young days learning what this old hag had to teach him. But it had made him grow into a strong leader, yes, but mostly into a strong person. Because in Eris' opinion, knowledge was power. And it was a must that his kids were tutored for at least a few years.

“What about my son?”

Ms.Crawford leaned onto her cane, peering into Eris' amber eyes like she had done when he was just a young Fae. But her authority didn't shake him, not anymore. So he stood tall, and tucked his hands into his pockets, waiting.

“Today, he refused to use his magic,”

Eris raised a brow. “He respected his limits, so?”

“My Lord, with all due respect,” She spat, and Eris' eyes lit up with dark flames, “The boy will never be worthy to keep his title of Heir to the throne of Autumn Court if he won't risk to test the limits of his powers. It should be an honor for him to-”

“Say one more word,” Eris hissed, towering the woman from all his height, “And I'll send you to the farthest spot of this continent and exile you from my Court forever.”

Eris was panting. His fists were clenched on his sides and sparks of fire were crackling all around him. But the old hag stood tall, unshakable. “I am only trying to educate your son, High Lord,”

“Your ruler has changed, methods of education have changed. I thought I had made that clear with you when I had been kind enough to not find a replacement for you. But you're making me regret this decision with every damn word you dare to utter,” Eris gulped, reigning in his magic to prevent it turning this old lady into a mere pile of ashes. “I am not raising soldiers, nor rulers. I am raising kids, good kids; and when they grow up it will be up to them to decide what they do with the powers they were given,”

Eris stepped back, his eyes still piercing holes through Ms.Crawford's face. “I shall summon you to discuss your tutoring contract, soon. Until then, I hope you'll follow the new educational expectations of this Court. Have I made myself clear?”

The old hag frown turned into a sly grin, barely noticeable. When she turned to leave, she peered at Eris over her shoulder. “I knew you'd be a strong ruler one of these days, Eris Vanserra. Times and methods have changed, yes, but I've taught you well,” She said, then left. Her old, frail legs supported her on her way out of this palace.

Taglist: @mybestfriendmademe @lilah-asteria @acotar-lover

[wizardofrozz]

"Do I look like I've moved on?" with Cody

Always Yours

Commander Cody x fem!reader, Original Clone Troopers (Zero and Lith)

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: NSFW +18, smut, slight dubcon, possessive behavior (Cody's a little toxic in this), rough handling, exhibitionism

A/N: Happy Star Wars Day! Writing for Cody is new for me but this turned out better than I expected lol. I want to thank @homie-one-kenobi for letting me borrow her OC Lith for this fic and for all the encouragement and help from her, @a-single-tulip and @techs-feral-wife 💕

If anyone had told you that your night at 79’s would’ve ended with your cheek pressed into the wall of some dark corner with a panting commander at your back, you might’ve hit them. 

You were the idiot for thinking it would’ve ended any other way. 

It had started like any other night when you visited 79’s with a few of your friends, except this time there wasn’t a gold-painted commander ready to drag you to bed. You were almost sure he wasn’t even on Coruscant and that was the main reason you agreed to the night out. You had been playing this back and forth with Cody for a while now. Fucking like ashrabbits at every opportunity only to never hear from him until he blew back into 79’s after another campaign. It was an exhausting routine that got harder each time. Especially when you found yourself wanting…more from him. Something that seemed impossible for a man like him. 

You shoved away any thoughts of the 212th in general and leaned against the bar, half-heartedly listening to the conversation your friends were having. Luckily, it didn’t take long to catch a curious eye, although his red armor made you hesitate. Your job in the Republic Detention Center meant you worked closely with the Guard, and most notably, Commander Fox. 

Fox, who happened to speak to Cody at least once a week and couldn’t resist indulging in good gossip.

You allowed yourself to be pulled in by a sweet smile for the night knowing that Fox, and eventually Cody, would know about it in no time. You smirked to yourself as you approached the trooper, wishing you could see the look on Cody’s face when Fox undoubtedly called him. 

The trooper in question, Zero, truly was a sweetheart, and you felt a little guilty that you couldn’t give him what he deserved, but he seemed to understand on some level. You were currently perched on Zero’s lap, mindlessly playing with his fingers while he recounted the story of how he got his name. He was the kind of man you should’ve gravitated toward, but when did life ever make sense? 

“So, you’re proud of, as you put it, having zero brain cells,” you giggled, smiling when Zero’s cheeks took on a faint pink color.

“Well, when you say it that way,” he mumbled, twisting his mouth to the side. You laughed a bit louder, swaying close enough to catch a glimpse of his cheeky grin and unintentionally bringing your tangled hands closer to your chest. His gloved thumb grazed your collarbone, the warmth of his skin under the fabric had goosebumps trailing behind his touch, turning your laughter to ash on your tongue. He was close enough that you could feel his breath against your lips. 

“I think it’s cute,” you whispered, your eyes trained on his mouth. 

“And I think you’re beautiful,” Zero countered. You watched the smile form on his lips, transfixed by how it fell somewhere between flirtatious and sweet. There was a gentle pressure against the underside of your chin, tilting your head back to force you to meet his eyes. Your lashes fluttered as he closed the gap, his lips finding yours in a soft, hesitant kiss.  

An explosion of whoops and cheers had you jerking back, years of working in a prison meant that loud bursts of noise had you whipping around in a panic to look at the door on instinct. Your heart immediately hit the floor when your brain registered that, you weren’t at work, and it wasn’t prisoners but waves of orange armored soldiers blowing through the doors. 212th troopers flooded the bar and you were blatantly staring, looking for that distinct sunburst that you had hoped you’d make it through one night without seeing. 

But when would you ever be that lucky?

He was the last through the door, keeping a slow, unbothered pace as he wandered toward the bar, eyes scanning the room. A small part of you hoped he wouldn’t notice you but you could see the exact moment his eyes landed on you. Cody’s mellow expression steadily darkened, his jaw flexing as his eyes ran the length of your body, noting the trooper you were perched on. Suddenly you were almost scared for the poor, naive shock trooper. 

“Hey,” Zero mumbled, cautiously cradling your hand. “What’s wrong?” You turned your head, finding genuine concern shining in his eyes and it broke your heart; this man had no idea what kind of mess he’d walked into. 

“Uh, I know some of the 212th,” you admitted with a shrug. The white lie was obvious but Zero let it slide, nodding as he shifted his eyes to the battalion getting louder by the minute. Cody had moved to an empty spot at the bar but you could still feel his eyes burying holes into your skin. “We could get out of here if you want?”

“Sure,” Zero replied, a small smile on his face, “I can walk you home.”

“I’d like that.” Zero’s smile brightened as he helped you to your feet before sliding out of his seat and leaning down next to your ear.

“Let me run to the bathroom before we go,” he yelled over the music. You nodded, standing on your toes to kiss his cheek as you handed over his helmet. The dusting of pink in his cheeks was back and you wished that it could last but you knew the second you were alone, all hell was going to break loose. Maybe one day he’d find someone that could give him what he deserved. You watched Zero work his way through the crowd until he disappeared into the sea of brothers, squirming under the heavy stare you could feel on your back. 

“You know he’s gonna be pissed.” You spun around at the voice next to your ear, blinking rapidly at Lith’s smug expression. 

“Hi, nice to see you too, Lith. How’ve you been?” you sassed, rolling your eyes. Lith just arched a brow, loudly sipping his drink, waiting for you to break the stalemate first. “It’s none of his business. He made it glaringly obvious that he doesn’t care.”

“Ha! That’s cute, you thinking he doesn’t care,” Lith laughed, shaking his head and you couldn’t ignore the way your stomach somersaulted at the thought. He leaned into your personal space, the acidic stench of cheap liquor on his breath. “Looks like you’ll find out for yourself.” His eyes lifted to something over your shoulder before he backed away, doing a terrible job of hiding his smirk behind the rim of his cup. The unforgiving hand that closed around your bicep had you going rigid, muscles locking up when his grip tightened. 

You refused to even look at him, trying to tug your arm away but Cody was relentless. You knew there was no use in fighting it, giving up and letting him drag you through the writhing crowd of bodies. He still wore all of his armor, sans helmet, allowing you to glare at the back of his head, occasionally catching a glimpse of his profile. You stumbled to a stop when Cody pulled you into one of the back hallways of the bar that was blessedly empty, something you knew wouldn’t last long as 79’s grew busier.

“What do you want, Cody?” you snapped as soon as he released your arm. He turned a sharp look in your direction but you stood your ground, crossing your arms. It was infuriating that despite how irritated you were with him, there was a tiny part of you that was relieved to see him alive. 

“What the fuck was that?”

“None of your damn business,” you hissed, taking a step closer to him. You expected anger, maybe even contempt, but Cody letting out a harsh, unamused laugh was probably at the bottom of your expectations for this conversation. 

“Aw, you really liked Fox’s shiny, huh?” Cody taunted, a cruel edge to his voice that you hated more with each passing second. 

“Maybe I did,” you spat, stifling the urge to shove him. “Maybe I had plans to show him what us natborns have to offer.” Cody’s expression twisted into something dangerous and he stalked toward you, backing you into a dark corner, looming over you. 

“You wouldn’t dare,” he snarled, face barely inches from yours.

“And why not? You didn’t seem to have a problem sticking your dick in the closest breathing life form.” He jerked back like you’d hit him, a familiar crease forming between his brows, and for a moment you faltered. 

“What are you talking about?” he huffed, pressing two fingers into his right eye, an action you knew meant he had a headache building.

“I saw you with that Mirialan last time you were on-world,” you admitted, grinding your teeth at the image of the barely dressed woman draped across his lap. “You moved on, so I planned to do the same.” The words were barely out of your mouth before he surged forward, trapping you against the wall with a bruising kiss. Your immediate reaction was to push him away but your strength was no match for him, and if you were being honest, you had been craving this: the dominating sweep of his tongue, the way his presence demanded your attention, and the borderline possessive grip on the back of your neck. 

You ached for him no matter how hard you tried to fight it, despite the hurt that came with his presence. 

Cody broke away first, resting his forehead against yours. “Do I look like I’ve moved on?” 

“Could’ve fooled me,” you huffed, turning your face away from him. Cody growled, the hand curled around your neck tightening as he wedged his armored leg between yours, pressing the rigid plastoid tight against your suddenly aching pussy. 

“Guess I’ll have to prove it,” Cody breathed against your lips. You yelped at the sudden movement, gasping when your cheek met the cool wall, and your thigh clenched to satiate your throbbing clit. His body molded against your back, his warm breath puffing against your cheek, similar to how Zero’s had not even 15 minutes ago, but this promised something far less innocent than a chaste kiss. “For the record, I didn’t fuck that Mirialan.”

“Why?” you couldn’t help but ask. You weren’t expecting much, maybe an irritated huff but your lashes fluttered when his tense muscles softened against your back, his grip loosening slightly. 

“She’s not my sunshine,” he whispered, his pinched expression barely visible in your periphery. He didn’t even give you a second to absorb his confession before he was yanking your pants down, knocking the air from your lungs when his finger slid through your soaked folds. “Stars, you’re dripping.”

“Are you really surprised? It’s you,” you panted, blindly searching for his belt buckle. Cody chuckled against your shoulder, expertly sinking his finger into you down to the second knuckle from behind and resting his other hand on the curve of your waist. Stars exploded behind your eyelids, a soft whine working its way up your throat when it was just shy of what you had been craving. 

“Oh, cyare, you have no idea what you do to me,” he mumbled, pumping his finger.

“How - how about you show me instead of talking about it,” you taunted, rocking back into his hand. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise when he shoved two fingers inside you as far as they would go; you had asked for it. 

“I’m starting to wonder if I should fill that bratty mouth instead,” he mused, curling his fingers in a way that had your knees threatening to give out. You were quickly hurtling toward your first orgasm, your thoughts running together as pleasure tore through every cell in your body. 

“Fuck - I don’t care, just fill something,” you pleaded, meeting the slow thrust of his fingers. Cody groaned against your hair when you clenched around his fingers, your body unable to decide if you wanted his fingers or his cock. An involuntary whimper left your lips when you were suddenly empty and the clatter of plastoid behind you was enough to leave you squirming. 

“Ready?” Cody whispered against your cheek, his lips just barely brushing over your skin.

“Cody,” you whined, pushing against the head of his cock that was resting against your entrance. He didn’t seem to care about your pleading, sliding his cock through your soaked folds, the head nudging your clit with just the right amount of pressure. Stars danced behind your eyes, the drag of his cock taunting you with the one thing you wanted. Cody wasted too fucking long coating himself in your arousal only to sink into you without warning; the stretch was almost too much, bordering on painful. He didn’t stop until there was nothing left for you to take and his armored chest was flush against your back. He may as well have been in your lungs with how hard it was to pull in a full breath, your head feeling a little fuzzy. 

“Maker, you - you take me so well,” Cody panted, kissing down the length of your neck. You turned your head, resting your forehead against the wall, simply trying to breathe as the pain started to blossom into pleasure. The hand on your waist tightened, likely leaving finger-shaped bruises behind, a thought that made your head spin. Cody stood perfectly still as if he wasn’t balls deep in your fluttering pussy and if you could think straight, you’d have been a little peeved at his control. 

Just as you opened your mouth to beg him to start moving, Cody rolled his hips, forcing a surprised moan past your lips. Of course, that fucker could read you like an open book. However, that was the only warning he gave you before he pulled all the way out only to deliver a pointed thrust to exactly where you needed it most. Cody started at a brutal pace, the edges of his thigh armor biting into the back of your legs but you couldn’t find the brain power to give a shit, solely focusing on not drawing other patron’s attention. 

You jerked when something brushed against your lips, peeling your eyes open to find his free hand near your face.

“Open,” Cody ordered hoarsely in your ear, lightly tapping your bottom lip again. “And no biting.” You hesitated for a moment, this apparently being the thing that made your cheeks feel warm, not the fact that he was fucking you senseless with hundreds of his brothers a few feet away. And yet, your lips parted for him, taking two fingers into your mouth. You weren’t paying attention to what hand it was so when the faint taste of your own arousal hit your tongue you whimpered, clenching around him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his pace faltering. “Good– good girl. You like that, huh?” You could only hum in response, earning a soft, shaky chuckle from the man behind you, and in some twisted way it felt like this piece of him belonged to you. A part of himself he willingly shared with you when he didn’t need to, allowing you to see the effect you had on him. “I - I know…I do too.”

You moaned around his fingers, doing your best to meet his unforgiving thrusts just to hear the pinched-off moan he muffled against your shoulder, sending you closer to your tipping point. The heat building under your skin continued to grow but there was a disconnect, you could only just brush against it, leaving the mind-blowing orgasm out of reach. You squirmed trying to change the angle but Cody’s hand on your hips kept you trapped; this asshole knew it wasn’t enough. Worst of all, to make his point, he started to pump his fingers in time with his thrusts and you moaned desperately, debating on just touching yourself if he wasn’t going to. 

“Don’t you dare,” he growled, teeth grazing your jaw. “You told me to fill something, so I’m giving you what you wanted, cyare.” Cody pressed down on your tongue, slamming into you before going still, his slightly labored breathing puffing against your cheek. “I’d find a way to fill all three if I had the time.”

The pathetic cry of his name was muffled against his fingers, tears starting to well up as you teetered on the edge, so close yet so far. There was a moment of stillness, his cock twitching inside you before he started to lazily grind against your ass, the pressure on your tongue letting up. 

“I’ll give you what you want if you give me what I want,” he proposed, nuzzling against the bolt of your jaw. It was a much sweeter gesture than the rest of his demeanor would suggest and you couldn’t decide between being irritated or flustered. Either way, you nodded as best as you could, ready to give him whatever he wanted. “You’re mine - fuck - you hear me?” he panted, struggling to keep the lazy pace, his hips stuttering. “Some - some wet-behind-the-ears shiny wouldn’t know how to do this for you. He’s not me.” The desperation in his voice resonated in your soul, reminding you of why there was no one that could captivate you quite like Cody. “Please, just - just say it.”

His fingers slid out of your mouth, trailing spit down your chin. Cody gave you a minute to catch your breath, his presence lingering over your shoulder expectantly. Later, when your brain was back online, maybe you’d regret saying it, but deep down you knew it was true; you belonged to Commander Cody no matter how badly you tried to fight it.

“I’m yours, Cody,” you whispered, turning your head enough to bump your forehead against him. There was another weighted pause before he craned his neck, blindly kissing the corner of your mouth.

“And I’m yours,” he breathed, the admission making your throat feel tight. There were very few times Cody let this type of vulnerability through and you treasured each one but this one was easily the most profound. He was telling you the one thing you never thought possible from a man of his position and it was equally as beautiful as it was arousing. “Always yours.”

“Then show me,” you pleaded, pressing back into him. The soft laugh that bubbled past his lips made your stomach somersault, only making your barely coherent thoughts feel more disjointed, yet your lips parted on instinct at the soft tap of his finger. Cody kissed your cheek in a final sweet gesture before bucking his hips, punching what would’ve been a loud cry from you if it weren’t for his fingers stuffed in your mouth. Cody resumed his previous, punishing pace, yet this time the hand keeping a vise grip on your waist loosened, trailing lower. 

Your knees buckled at the lightning-quick tap against your clit, somehow pushing him deeper and the tears finally fell. Thank the heavens above that he didn’t stop there though, pressing with the perfect amount of pressure, drawing tight, fast circles that made each of your stunted inhales grow shorter until you were forced to unseal your lips from around his fingers. 

“Let go, sunshine,” Cody coaxed, sounding a bit desperate. You had been known to push his buttons, disobeying when the urge struck, but this was not one of those times. Your hands clawed at the wall, your back arching as the coil finally snapped, the pleasure lighting up every nerve ending from your head to your toes. Cody used the fingers still filling your mouth to tilt your head back, doing his best to muffle your sobs as he moaned openly against your shoulder. He made it through a few more pumps before going rigid, a barely audible whine leaving his lips as he came. 

You both slumped forward simultaneously, Cody’s fingers slipping from your mouth as his weight pressed you into the wall. The warm panting against your throat slowly brought you back to the land of the living, realizing Cody was still buried inside your sensitive cunt, his cum starting to leak down the inside of your thigh. 

“You’re fucking heavy,” you complained half-heartedly. Cody littered your shoulder with light, playful kisses, his arms moving to wrap around your waist as his shoulders shook with laughter. 

“Not usually wearing 80 pounds of armor,” he chuckled, kissing the base of your throat. That reminded you of where you were, realizing that the harsh lines of his thigh plates were still biting into the back of your legs, making you wonder if you’d have bruises for days to come. 

“Finding that I don’t really mind it,” you confessed, wiggling your arms out from where they were pinned to the wall so you could gently stroke his arm. “Sometimes at least.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Cody snorted, one of his hands snagging your fingers as they trailed up his arm. A calm, intimate silence settled around you, letting you just bask in Cody’s presence but all good things had to come to an end. 

“We should go before someone finds us,” you sighed, dropping your cheek against the side of his head.

“Waxer and Lith are standing guard.”

“Of course they are,” you giggled, rolling your eyes fondly. Then you remembered a poor shock trooper most likely looking for you. “Did you at least tell Zero I didn’t get kidnapped?”

“No,” Cody grunted, squeezing your fingers in a way that definitely felt possessive. Oh, you had a bad feeling about what that meant. 

“Is Fox going to be calling to rip you a new one?”

“...maybe.” As if on cue, the comlink on Cody’s vambrace started to chirp softly and you had to stifle a laugh. 

“Come on,” you urged, voice wavering in an attempt to hide your amusement, “I want to go curl up in bed with a lot less plastoid, and you have the consequences of your actions to deal with.” Cody grumbled for a few seconds but inevitably untangled himself from you, bending down to grab his codpiece as you hiked your pants up again. You almost regretted wearing one of your favorite outfits now that they’d been stained with remnants of Cody. Almost. You glanced over at him once he finished clipping his codpiece in place, grinning at the scowl he was aiming at his comlink.

“What?” Cody grumbled. Fox barely let him finish answering the call before ripping into his brother.

“I’m coming for your fucking kneecaps,” Fox said, sounding eerily calm. “See how well you fuck without ‘em.” Cody shot you a dark look when you giggled but it didn’t hold its usual weight seeing that his brother’s disembodied voice was still chewing him out. You shot him a wink as you backed down the hallway, ignoring the warning in his beautiful brown eyes. 

“Reap what you sow, dear,” you called, blowing him a kiss before slipping through the door. You would definitely pay for that later and the idea that there would be a later with Cody made all the heartache worth it. 

Taglist: @toomanybandstocare @starrylothcat

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Phone call.

Alex Keller x Ex wife/husband reader (Y/N).

Phone calls are all he needs when he feels alone and overwhelmed. He already knows who to call to ease his mind.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Warning: nothing serious, as always grammatical and spelling errors.

It's pretty early in the morning for Alex, he didn't sleep, it's the 3rd time this week, he left the bed hours ago, unsure of what to do, he's just walking around, the smell of gasoline, ashes and the serenity of the night vanishing is all that fill his lungs, some soldiers are awake too, but they're not trying to talk to him, many of them probably are feeling in the same way as him, exhausted.

His brain is floating in the air, the silence is Peaceful but also crushing. Suddenly the memory of your voice echoes in his mind.

When you and him signed the divorce papers you weren't happy, but also there were no signs of anger, all ended in good terms, he always loved that about you, your self- control, since then he occasionally calls you to make sure you're doing well, because even if you're not together anymore, he still takes care of you and he still needs to hear your voice.

You're literally his first contact on the list, the beep causes anxiety, somehow he fears one day you will not pickup the phone.

«Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep...» the sound of music and then your voice.

- Hello?

- Y/N? hi!

- Alex, hi, what time is there? Isn't it Early?

- Ah, yeah, it is... What about you? It's kinda late, no? feels like it has been years since we talked.

- Yes, but in fact, our last call was three weeks ago. Are you having sleeping problems, again?

He can't lie to you, you can read him very well.

- Yeah, but... it's alright, And you? Why are you still awake?

- Ah, you know a paramedic rarely sleeps.

Both let a little laugh escape, but you can hear it in his voice something is bothering him, there's a long pause before one of you can talk again.

- What's going on Alex? Is Farrah okay?

Your voice is calm and soft, he likes that, he misses it, just sometimes. He's observing the sunrise while the sound of whatever you're doing and your voice singing fills the silence.

You're making some Mac and cheese while you're waiting for him to talk, you know he will.

- She's alright. What are you doing y/n?

- Mac and cheese, your mother's recipe, remember?

- fuckin' hell, yeah, i haven't eaten it in a while, but I can taste the flavor in my mouth.

Both start to talk about those days when you learned how to make that pasta, when he got sick for eating it for a whole weekend. For some minutes he forgets the emptiness that was bothering him, until you talk again.

- Alex?... Why did you call? Talk to me.

He loudly sighs.

- Do you remember when we talked about the divorce?

- Of course. Why?

It's a bittersweet memory, you remember the day of that conversation, how he told you he wanted to divorce, why he wanted to leave and continue working far from home, it hurt and was painful, but you found the courage to understand and respect his motives.

- Well, you told me it was fine, that you would be okay, but now I don't know if I did the right thing, sometimes I want to go back. Do you think we made the right decision?

- You did..., we did. Listen, perhaps I never said this before but I signed those papers because... Alex, I love you, okay? and I'll always want you to be the best version of yourself, even if that means to stay behind or admire you from afar.

Both stay in silence, you're smiling, you understand, he wanted to hear something like that. He wanted to hear you're still supporting him.

Both are still on the call, talking about your work, how many people you saved, you even talked about the new grocery store and the prices, he told you about a funny joke Farrah made some nights ago, modification he did in a gun, he feels better when you're laughing, when you're talking, he's good knowing everything is cool between you two.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against The Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s incredible vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Curses (Crane Wives)

Ashes, ashes, dust to dust/Tell me I am good enough/Lay my curses out to rest/

All my aching bones are trembling/And I may yet fall apart/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When the war starts in my heart?

Every word I say is kindling/But the smoke clears when you're around/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When my walls start burning down, down, down?

"The singer is falling apart but they'll still jam about it. They're trying so hard to get better, they're failing, and they need support even when recovery feels hopeless. It's a concept I haven't seen explored in a song before. Lots of songs are about someone relying on their partner for emotional support but none explore the darker side of the difficulty of carrying someone else's burdens. Also the clarinet fucks."

"One, is starts out with a jazzy clarinet. The instrumentals of the song is very dance-y. I love the destructive tone of the lyrics, the singer thinking they ruin everything and they're not worthy of love, but still begging You to stay"

"It’s asking for help when you’re at your lowest. It’s the emotion behind the words— it’s one of those songs where the singer puts weight and emphasis on certain lines. Makes the heart go ouughghhghghh. It’s the “duo who’s known each other for a long time and are driving out post-big time conflict” or “emotional climax where there’s no words, only action” scene type of song imo. Also there’s a mad clarinet solo and it’s really good"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Curses submitted by @dreadful-windandrain + others

[invidiia]

you said i could do it so here i am 😇

i was thinking about this the other day—what if verlaines darling started learning french in secret while they were held captive? like they wanted to understand him better so they just found their old phone that they thought that verlaine discarded and they just downloaded an app to learn french😭

anyways that’s all LMAODH

français en secret - yan!paul verlaine x reader

❐ - yandere!verlaine (bsd) x reader

note ; HII I LOVE THIS REQUEST?! ALSO THANK YOU GUYS FOR 150+ FOLLOWERS ILY ALL!! i do not know french, so if anyone would correct me anything i put in this, i would absolutely appreciate it!! EDIT: CREDIT TO @eroqista FOR HE,PING ME WITH THE FRENCH PART BEAUSE WBFKEF

prompt ; after being stuck with the man for who knows how long, verlaine's darling began to learn french in secret.

warnings ; kidnapping, yandere/obsessive themes, gender neutral!reader,

it took a good while to find your old phone. you thought verlaine threw almost everything of yours out!

the screen was slightly damaged, a few cracks adorning the glass, but it was still slightly usable. verlaine had left the house again, after throwing you into the basement for whatever reason. perhaps he forgot about the boxes with your old belongings in them, boxes that he had been meaning to burn.

but the boxes weren't burned to ashes, and instead, they sat in the basement while dust collected. in another box was an old pen that had surprisingly not dried out, and a notebook.

you rarely saw verlaine visibly angry - but you could always tell when he was, after months of living with him, you learned to know his emotions. he semi-trusted you, but not enough to tell you exactly how he feels, other than that he loved you.

one thing you noticed more than often when verlaine was upset was that he would speak french - his native language. he would either be upset, talking to a colleague or friend, or just to himself, but you understood none of it.

maybe a good way to understand him more would be to understand what he was saying. that, or you could also try to escape with your new understanding of his words. maybe he would say over the phone how long he would be gone, and how far he was going, so you could create a window of time for your escape.

or you could simply learn the language and surprise him after getting good enough, and tell him the sweetest things exactly how he doesn't expect it.

It wasn't perfect.

Only three-four months of nonstop learning whenever you had time alone couldn't get you close to perfect. Even the basics weren't easy; it was very difficult. And it wasn't like you were hiding your learning well, either. Verlaine knew you spent an awful lot of time in the basement, so he often came down to check on you, but he'd just see you curled up in the corner with a notebook in hand, and when he looked at the paper, it was just cutesy drawings of flowers and bees and everything cute you could think of.

You had time to put the phone away and hide it since you could hear the door open, since you still weren't technically allowed to have that phone, even if you were just using it to learn another language.

(now, imagine the reader purposely trying to get put in the basement because they don't want to break their daily streak and get hunted by the duolingo bird. do your french lessons, Y/N.)

It took time, but eventually you were able to understand and make basic conversation.. which also meant you could listen in on phone calls he made while speaking in French only.

This could go two ways depending on your actions.

"You started learning French?" Verlaine looked almost impatient, looking at you while he waiting for an answer. You hadn't thought this through. How were you planning to explain to him exactly how? "I picked up on some of yours." You replied innocently, looking back down at your feet to alleviate the stress of the highly likely possibility that he doesn't believe your lie. "You just magically understood French from listening? What, did I leave a dictionary down there?" Verlaine stood up from his chair, sauntering behind you with a small smile on his face while you nodded. He wasn't smiling softly. "Good job." He placed a hand on your shoulder and turned to leave the room. It was that easy? He believed you like that?

But you should have known he didn't actually believe you. Verlaine was no idiot, it shouldn't be a surprise when you were waken up in the morning in the basement, with all of the boxes containing your old belongings gone.

The basement door was locked tightly, and the basement was now entirely empty. There was a note on the door, and attached with a paper clip, was one photo. There the boxes were - set ablaze and sat in front of a camera. The note read,

"J'ai trouvé ton téléphone, chéri. Tu vois les photos ? J'ai mis le feu aux boîtes. Ton vieux téléphone est dans l'une d'elles. Vraiment, bon travail, d'apprendre le français et de me le cacher. Tu aurais pu demander, j'aime passer du temps avec toi. Je te dirais bien "bonne chance pour la prochaine fois", mais je ne pense pas qu'il y aura une prochaine fois. Je t'aime."

[manawari]

| AU — in which Sung Jin-woo broke up with Cha Hae-in because she was an S-Rank while he was just an E-Rank, which got him uneasy as he thought he was no longer deserving of her. (Past Lovers!AU).

"I. . . I can't do this anymore," said Jin-woo as he moved away from his girlfriend, causing her head to lose balance on his shoulder. "We need to be go on our separate ways."

"W— what?" Hae-in's eyes widened. "Did I do something wrong? Jin-woo—"

"No. I can't let you get involved with me any further, Hae-in. Things. . . Things are different now." Jin-woo slowly tore his gaze from her.

"What do you mean 'different'? You've been like this lately!" Hae-in protested. "It's you who started acting different, Jin-woo."

Because you're an S-Rank. It's ridiculous to see you be with a weak person as me. Jin-woo's throat tightened at the unspoken words — he was not stupid to ignore the growing gap between him and Hae-in. He was an E-Rank hunter, who often got looked down by others due to his inability to fight without getting injured; people laughed at him and mocked him for being soon to be dead if he took another misstep.

"You could just be using Hunter Cha to your advantage!"

"What did you do to bribe her into staying by your side? Surely, compared to her, you are hopeless."

"Her? Your girlfriend? HAHA! Real funny."

"You can't even lift your sword without struggling. How can you say you're a better match for her?"

"I'd rather see Hunter Cha with a D-Rank rather than you, a worthless E-Rank."

Cha Hae-in, on the other hand, was an S-Rank. She had awakened several months after him. As an S-Rank, her strength was one of a kind, being more powerful than most hunters and on par with the famous guild masters in the country. Tremendous attention had diverted to her the moment the mana sphere declared her rank.

Jin-woo was outside, waiting for the result of her evaluation, but only to hear an uproar surrounding his girlfriend. He immediately ran and squeezed through the crowd to reach Hae-in, shielding her from the overwhelming chorus of voices. He squeezed her hand in reassurance and dragged her away.

He knew she didn't like too much attention.

He knew her like the back of his hand.

. . . But now, Jin-woo felt she was slipping away. Everyone was familiar with her, which made it difficult for him to be in the same place as her. Not only they'd make fun of him for "leaning" on an S-Rank, they'd try to tell Hae-in that she was way too good to be with the weakest hunter on earth.

Jin-woo ignored them. He defended Hae-in against them and would only accept their harsh words about him, letting them penetrate through his chest. But the more he absorb those words, the more they crawled to his mind, digging like sharp claws until it bleed.

It got to the point where he chose to let go.

"You promised! You promised that you'd be by my side!"

He left her in that bench. Not a last glance or word. Hae-in was left with questions and heartbreak, broken by none other than the boy who became her first love — they went to the same school, became friends, and Jin-woo had confessed his feelings to her during a school festival. All memories crumbled into ashes.

"All you had to do is not listen to them!"

"They were insulting you, Hae-in. Because of me!"

"And so what? Those people have no idea who you really are." Hae-in argued. "I understand that you are hurt on my behalf, but their words mean nothing to me — you're more than what they believe."

"They are not stopping until I am no longer involved with you."

"So, what are you supposed to do then, Jin-woo? Tell them that they are right?"

". . ."

They had fought about it before. They would spend days talking to each other until Jin-woo had given in to apologize to her. Still, he knew Hae-in was more hurt by his words rather than other people's, which pained him to see what he had been doing to her.

He became the reason of Hae-in's tears.

So, he became the person who broke her heart as well.

Jin-woo convinced himself that it was only for the best. He'd watch the news and see her beautiful face on the TV, standing confidently amidst the cameras next to her guild master, Choi Jong-in, who made his speech in front of the crowd. He was happy for her, knowing she was in a place in her life where she rightfully be. . . Though, it didn't stop his heart from aching.

"Do you still love her, big brother?" Jin-ah asked him one time.

Jin-woo closed his mouth in hesitation, the spoon in his hand halting midway. "I. . ." No, it had already been months since the last time he saw her. Things must've changed. "Jin-ah, it's been so long. My feelings for her have disappeared since that day." He answered.

He had to move on.

And he was certain that Hae-in had already did.

Lee Ju-hee, his only friend— however, had a different opinion. Being a healer who had to constantly run to him and mend whatever wounds were in his body, Jin-woo somehow managed to form a connection with her despite being scolded first before Ju-hee initiated an actual conversation with him.

"I still find it amazing how you met Cha Hae-in first before she became a hunter," she said to him as they walked together in an empty pavement in the park. "You're one lucky guy, Jin-woo."

"Why did you bring that topic up all of a sudden?" He questioned her.

"Nothing. I just remembered it." chuckled Ju-hee. Then, she let out a sigh. "You know, every time I think about it, I can't help but feel like there's still hope."

"For what?"

"For you two," she said. "I don't know Hae-in personally, or what exactly happened between the both of you, but it seems that you still have feelings for her."

Jin-woo's steps halted abruptly. "How. . . How can you say that? Ju-hee, I was the one who had chosen to broke up with her."

"You chose to break up with her because you weren't brave enough to stand up for your relationship," Ju-hee told him. "And I can tell you haven't forgotten about her — what she was once to you." The edge of her lips curved into a smile. "Listen to your heart. You deserve to be happy, you know? Make it as your promise to me."

Jin-woo sighed. I was the one who hurt her. "Fine, I'll be happy, Ju-hee."

"Also, promise me that you mustn't let go of her again. If, your paths cross."

He chuckled.

As if they'd meet again—

And for sure, he was nothing but a stranger to her. A terrible memory. The root of her own heartbreak.

She cried a lot because of him. She was the one who kept holding on when he was about to let go.

Since then, Jin-woo was all by himself. Ju-hee left her hunting job while he was stuck with getting stronger. Overtime, he was gradually peeling from the person he used to be— weak, cowardice, and useless. His life changed anew. It felt as if decades had passed when it was merely a few weeks.

His thin body, prone to injuries and always one step away from death, became built and formidable. His sister barely recognized him when he walked out of his bedroom. Jin-ah mocked and teased him while Jin-woo could only snort at her.

Life had started to become quite good to him.

. . . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . .

. . . . . .

". . . Should I go for it?" His adrenaline pumped against his veins, and his fingers twitched as his dagger continued to form out thin air. Jin-woo let out a grin when—

"What are you doing over there?"

He froze.

Could it be?

"I asked you a question. What are you doing?"

He could feel her presence. And she was inching closer and closer, her steps were almost audible through the heavy silence in the cave.

"I got lost and ended up here," he answered.

"Then, get away from there. That's where the boss lives."

Jin-woo lowered his helmet over his countenance and turned away from his spot, maintaining his gaze low from the S-Rank hunter's scrutinizing gaze. He was about to walk past her when something suddenly tugged on the lace of his I.D. . . But luckily, he was quick to yank it back and grasped on the card to keep it out of her sight.

"Wha— hey! I just wanted to know who you are!" Cha Hae-in exclaimed.

Of course, she didn't recognize him. In her eyes, he was just a miner, a stranger. But to him. . . She was his past love — the chance he had wasted, the heart he had broken, and the love he had thrown away. He was no longer a guy with unruly black hair and soft features on his face, and as he stood before her, shielding his true emotions behind a blunt visage, Cha Hae-in waited for an answer with her eyes fixed sharply on him.

It was as if she had never changed.

Same beauty. Same eyes.

Yet, a different heart.

"I. . ." He swallowed. His lips curled into a forced smile. "I am Park Jin-sung, Vice-master Cha. Pleased to meet you in person."

[that-starry-freak]

What is your favourite TSAMS ships?

anon, you have opened the floodgates oh my god- I have so many favorites (im a HUGE multishipper)

This is ordered into favorite to least favorite of my favorites!!! Pretend that made sense

Moonchips: ... wew boy- the flavors bro- the flavors- moon x v4? He said he'd like to date someone sarcastic and a bit sadistic if he ever tried dating, Eclipse fits the bill fucking perfectly. Moon x solar? Holy shit they're stupid and gay and awkward and have neither done this before let them cook let them experiment they're both scientists they're perfect that this. Moon x v1? Toxic, oh my god so fucking toxic such an interesting concept im not even going to go into it thats too crazy for main (i keep all my toxic ships on my tsams side blog 😔). Moon also includes new moon/nexus! Meaning, v4 Eclipse x Nexus? Yup, a flavour of moonchips, and holy fuck do I love v4 Eclipse x Nexus bro- also, v1 x nexus? He could have treated him SO much better. Also also, v2 x moon? Bro, they had a partnership already- like- auwnjsnssdnd AND ASH (eaps moon) X V4?? bro how can I be normal about moonchips-

Nexus x Eclipse x Sol: ... if you know, you know *looks to Zee* we have an au with this ship and it goes crazy bro. again, another au/ship too toxic to relaly yap about on main. But basically Sol abused Nexus and Eclipse and once they leave him they're very dependent on each other. Its a really interesting dynamic and its fun to play around with the characters

LullabyNight: chat, chat hear me out- listen Moon would be able to understand him if he really tried. And they could be sciency together- and experiment because Nexus did say that one time he wasn't sure about his sexuality (which makes sense!! Him questioning his sexuality is actually a nice part of his character arc, since he's not Moon) and Moon said he'd be willing to experiment with someone who was like him?? Bro, they're perfect. Let them kiss

Lord Eclipse x His Bm: he keeps them as his pet- thats- that's about it

Eclipse x Nexus x Solar (lullabychips, Eclipse², and Solarnexus): obviously my main ship i talk about a lot. Im not asss obsessed over it as I used to be (that is Zees fault, they got me obsessed over other ships <3) but when I rant about characters I think out of all the poly couples, they're best suited for each other. From Eclipse and Solar's moon trauma, to Eclipse and Nexus both being copies of someone else, to Eclipse and Solar both being eclispes. They could all understand each other very well, as well as compliment each other. Plus, cmon, Eclipse has been borderline defending Nexus-

Rumini (ruin x Gemini): a crackship that happened on a thread about who Ruin is shipped with and people were making art for it and I started thinking about it and im obsessed wnsdnsnsd they'd be so great for each other but also terrible. Secretive old man yaoi <3

Obviously just because they're on this list doesn't me I ship ship it (and if it isn't on this list that doesn't mean I dont relaly like it, it just doesn't mean I'm not obsessing over it rn. I really like bloodysun too) The only ones I think would actually be cute and good together are Solar, V4, and Nexus. Or v4 and Ash. I just think toxic ships can be really interesting!! It complicates things in a way that feels more real