#listening to boygenius got me thinking of this

[theghostwrites]

god knows I'm a slut for angst and devastating endings that leave a gaping wound where my heart should be but where are my toxic homoerotic codependent girls that actually end up together? hand in unlovable hand, covered in the ashes of the world they fucked up, their friendship bracelets dripping blood, intact as they stare at the new dawn together?

[cybersunnie]

BILLY THE KID x F!READER listened to bite the hand by boygenius and am thinking thoughts of angsty sex with billy. (17+)

you didn't want to call it quits with billy.

you knew the type of man he was, the type of life he had, but you loved him dearly, wholeheartedly. he got into brawls before, but it doubled when you became his girl. it got so bad that it happened almost nightly. he'd show up at your doorstep with bruised knuckles, and you'd learn it was because someone spoke ill of you, and billy being billy, he couldn't just sit there and not do anything about it.

"honey, it's not gonna happen again," billy rushed to say, words bleeding together, a sense of urgency in his voice. he may be an outlaw, a killer, to many in the public, but right now, he was just a man, soul-bared and eyes pleading. "i swear, it won't."

you wanted to believe him. "you said that last time."

billy stayed silent, tongue-tied.

"i'm doing this for you," you whispered. were you? or were you just afraid? "i don't want you getting hurt 'cause of me, billy—i bring nothing but trouble."

your words stumped him. trouble? you were the best thing that ever happened to him.

"we can talk about this more in the morning, yeah?" billy prodded as he tried to buy some time. when you seemed unsure, he cradled your face, palms rough with callouses, but his touch gentle. "c'mon, let's sleep on it, okay? let's go to bed."

oh, how were you supposed to deny him?

once your back hit the mattress, he kissed you—soft and desperate—his strong arms wrapped around you in fear you would run off, but like always, you melted into him. as he stripped you of your clothing, billy whispered to you, to the gods above, about how much he loved you.

"i love you, baby," he breathed, smoothing the goosebumps on your skin with his large hands. "i love you so much."

he spoke the words so softly that it ached your heart. you couldn't love him how he wanted you to. the worst part was that billy didn't care—as long as he had you, nothing else mattered.

he peppered you with kisses, lips dragging across every inch of your body, each one a silent plead for you to stay with him. you felt overwhelmed, undeserving. you didn't deserve him. billy held you tightly, his hands molded into your flesh where they belonged. and he fucked you nice and slow, too, his face tucked away in the crook of your neck, his hands holding yours. he fucked you as if it was his last time, trying to remember how you feel wrapped around him, all snug and warm.

"stay," billy whispered, pressing a kiss on your neck before leaning back. you swore, even in the shadows, you saw tears in his eyes. "i'll do better, baby, i promise."

you didn't say anything back. if you did, you would utter, "i'll stay.” a lie, and you couldn't lie to him. so you captured his lips with yours and gave him a kiss that said everything you needed: a goodbye. billy must have understood because he only kissed back you harder.

author's note: you might be thinking: sunnie, this doesn't match the song AT ALL!! and all i have to say is..... yeah, you right. but i'm so tempted to write a proper fic with this concept, like i'm gonna stay up all night writing.

— NOT PROOFREAD : 01.14.2024

[moeitsu]

Song Lyrics That Remind Me of Arthur Morgan

Nobody asked for this, but I listen to A LOT of music, and this boah is constantly on my mind 24/7. So I thought I'd share some lyrics that remind me of him and his relationships <3

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

Hard Believer - First Aid Kit

"So you ask for my opinion. Well, what is there to say? To be honest and just foolish, won't make you wanna stay. You've got to go on and get moving. And I can't do that for you. Got so many plans and so much you wanna do. Love is tough, time is rough on me."

To a Poet - First Aid Kit (Mary & Arthur)

"You said, 'Don't give me nothing you don't wanna lose.' I said, 'Darlin' I'll give you everything I got, if you want them to choose.' Though unwillingly I left and it was so, so hard to do. Now I miss you more than I can take and I will surely break. And every morning that I wake, God, it is the same."

Afraid of Heights - Boygenius (Dutch & Arthur)

"I know I fucked up when I told you I'm afraid of heights. It made you wanna test my courage. You made me climb a cliff at night. You wanted me to jump and I declined. You called me a coward, I replied, I don't wanna live forever, but I don't wanna die tonight."

My Silver Lining - First Aid Kit

"I don't know if I'm scared of dyin', but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow. Regret, remorse, hold on. Oh no I've gotta go. There's no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on. You've just gotta keep on keeping on."

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

"If they strike once, then you hit 'em twice as hard. But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me, Then this heart would break and fall twice as far. We all know how it goes, the more it hurts, the less it shows. But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I could never go back home."

Saviour - George Ezra (Mary & Arthur)

"Time was young and you were mine. Take me back to that midnight moon. Cradle me, at that midnight moon. All of me is all for you, and what I got to give is not enough. It's a dark night. Being your own savior, is it saving you?"

Cowboy, Gangster, Politician - Goldie Boutilier (Mary & Arthur)

"We said goodbye, but it never ends. 'Cause you can't get away from a woman who loves you. 'Cause you can't run away from feelings that haunt you. No, you can't separate a fire from a flame that already burns. Every saints a sinner, we all have our past. Forever is a fiction, nothing lasts."

Let Him Fly - Patty Griffin (Mary Gillis-Linton)

"Ain't no talking to this man, ain't no pretty other side. Ain't no way to understand, the stupid words of pride. It would take an acrobat, and I already tried all that so, I'm gonna let him fly. You know the light has left his face, but you can't recall just where or why. So there was really nothing to it, I said I'm gonna let him fly."

The Chain - Fleetwood Mac (Dutch & Arthur)

"And if you don't love me now, You will never love me again. I can still hear you saying, we would never break the chain. Run in the shadows. Damn your love, damn your lies."

Devil's Resting Place - Laura Marling

"I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place. Water won't clean you, you only hold yourself to the things you do. Come up here to speak to me and hold your face to mine. Any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine. You sold your life away to be with me tonight. Hold your head against my chest, I think you'll be just fine."

Through the Valley - Shawn James

"I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. And I fear no evil because I'm blind to it all, and my mind and my gun they comfort me. Because I know I'll kill my enemies when they come. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. And I will dwell on this earth forevermore. Well, I came upon a man at the top of a hill. Called himself the savior of the human race. Said he'd come to save the world from destruction and pain, but I said, how can you save the world from itself?"

Youngest Daughter - Superheaven

"It's useless, I tried, but to no avail. To tell you how much I know, how much I care. Breathe until your lungs fail, you can sing 'til you go deaf. I am sick, I am horrified at everything I hear. Everyday repeats itself again, the cycle of our misery, It drives us all insane."

The Fall - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"You heard blood was thick, brothers and sisters. But ya don't know where anybody's at. Time was a bust, you thought you'd better be tough. Nobody gets past the trembling wire. All eyes on you now, on you. We're all holding our breath."

Second Chances - Gregory Alan Isakov (John & Arthur)

"I'm running from nothing, no thoughts in my mind. Oh my heart was all black but I saw something shine. Thought that part was yours, but it might just be mine. I could share it with you, if you gave me the time. I'm all bloody knuckles, longing for home. If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone."

My Mind - Paris Paloma (Dutch & Arthur)

"What did I do wrong? Will you tell me what I did wrong, what did I? Was it a first offense? How long had you been harboring that vemon? You could have used your words then, you wanted them to hurt and so I let them. Never would I beseech you, to endure what you put me through."

[rimunagenius]

Best Show Ever

დ Pairing: Josette Maskin x rockstar!reader

დ Warning: RPF!! some suggestive talk?, definite blurred platonic/romantic lines, and literal gay panic fluff

დ Word Count: 2.5k (whoops got carried away)

დ a/n: okay so this is my very first sapphic fic that i’ve ever written. It’s also very self indulgent and i’m pretty i requested it on someone acc and it had almost the same plot line, it’s most likely me (i forgot if i requested anonymously or not) but anyways!! I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS. i also used both preferred pronouns of jo’s so i’m sorry if it’s a little confusing. this pic is the vibe i was going for with reader x josette! ;)

დ

As a friend of Munagenuis, you were commonly spotted in the VIP sections of their concerts singing and dancing along to almost every song on their set lists. You were a superfan even though you had just as big of a following and sold-out arenas like this.

Most of the time you were on the side stage while they performed and made surprise appearances now and then when they happened to sing one of your featured songs. You met them through being one of your other fellow openers for Taylor Swift. 

You guys had met as you were a solo artist and wanted to not be alone in a pretty nerve-wracking situation such as opening for a huge sold-out stadium. You had all been backstage and that's when Pheobe had walked up to you completely starstruck because she had been a fan of yours for so long and meeting you backstage at a Taylor Swift concert was peak experience. In her words.

You couldn't believe it because you had discovered Lucy Dacus and went through a wormhole of her music where you discovered boygenius and eventually went down an even bigger wormhole for Pheobe. You loved their group and solo music. This was an unreal experience. You had listened to MUNA for a while, ever since you started your career. You just couldn’t wrap your head around this experience.

That's when she introduced you to MUNA and you couldn't even listen to anything she said because this beautiful person was just standing right in front of you, arm stretched out, waiting to shake your hand as Pheobe kept talking. "Hi, I'm Josette. This is Naomi and Katie." She shook your hand as they pointed to their best friends. 

You waved at them awestruck that you finally meeting one of the many big inspirations for your music career. This was so surreal. Especially since your celebrity crush had shaken your hand not even three seconds ago. 

You had known of MUNA and boygenius for quite some time and it was crazy to think that they knew who you were and liked listening to your music. You guys had talked that whole night and cheered each other on while you guys opened the concert. Since that night, you had all been even bigger fans of each other and hung out almost all the time. 

Over time, you had grown super close to Jo. You thanked your lucky stars that this could have happened to you and selfishly speaking, absolutely no one else, because you could not fathom ever being in a room and having the best friendship you could have nurtured with Jo. 

Over a span of a year of knowing MUNA, Josette especially, it had speculated, your fandom and MUNA's, that you and Josette were seeing each other. You guys had always seemed to laugh it off and go on about your day. You had known that there was something there. Whether it was just simple attraction or sexual tension mixed with mutual attraction. Definitely the latter.

It only started to become clearer because at one show you had been on the stage with them, after the eras tour opening you guys got busy and made music together, so you had been on stage singing your verse in the song. It was a little sexually suggestive, as the whole theme of the song, and while you were singing, Josette had lead guitar on it. 

They were all in their element as they had sauntered up to you and suddenly dropped to their knees and abandoned looking at the guitar strings and just looked up at you with this look in their eyes. Someone had gotten footage, made an edit of it, and tagged you in an Instagram story. 

You had reposted it and captioned it in the corner at the bottom, "if she keeps looking at me like that, I'm gonna fall in love 😍🧘🏻‍♀️ @ jojolovedog" You had reposted to your story and in a matter of minutes your Twitter feed was blowing up and it was just of you and Jo. 

Josette saw your story within the hour and reposted and captioned hers "i alr did…😍😍" That alone broke the internet and your mind for the better part of the week. Ever since then the rumors of your infatuation and "secret relationship" had just grown like some mold in a dirty basement. 

So as it was uncommon now for you to make an appearance with them on stage, you got used to the attention that boygenius and MUNA attracted to themselves on stage. And your little gay heart ate it up every time. 

You loved how they had all been openly themselves, kissing each other, and just loving on each other throughout the show. So when MUNA sang their featured song with you and the boys, things got crazy. 

While Katie had started the song off, you and the boys were dancing around and having fun. Pheobe had been running around hugging Katie while she sang. Julien tried to pluck the right strings while Lucy kissed her in every possible open area of skin. You had been laughing and moving your hips slowly and seductively while watching Jo play her guitar. Watching you dance and move the way you were, was driving Josette mad. She almost almost forgot what she was supposed to be playing. Almost. You took that as her not paying attention but you hoped it was because of what you wanted it to be. 

Naomi was singing some background vocals when you walked up to her, Pheobe following right next to you, and you both kissed either one of their cheeks. She laughed and then kissed you both on the lips. A short peck each. After she had initiated the lip kissing, Pheobe followed, kissing you on your lips while she held your face. 

The crowd immediately got louder and more hyped when you two started to dance around and go chase Lucy. You both grabbed Lucy, her settling for lying down on the ground, singing partially what sounded like background vocals. Pheobe had sat under her head, Lucy's head resting perfectly in her lap while the platinum blonde leaned down and kissed Lucy passionately. 

You straddled Lucy, her hands finding your thighs as you grabbed her face and kissed her with what you hoped was as much passion as your best friend Pheobe. 

Jo had walked around the stage, playing next to Julien, kissing her on the lips which you would've imagined sent some fans into cardiac arrest. And while you had finished kissing Lucy, Jo had seen the position you had been in and she wouldn't lie and say that that didn't make her want to take you right there. Make you sit on her like that.

She was pretty sure you had felt it too. There's no way you'd flirt with her with your lips insanely close to theirs, the lingering touches, and the sleepovers where you somehow always ended up cuddling each other, and didn't feel a single thing. 

The way your hands would brush through their hair while her hand was on your thigh. The longing gazes you two shared were not platonic. Jo was determined tonight to make it clear that she needed you in more ways than just one, being your best friend. She wanted to flaunt you and kiss you any waking moment. She has had a crush on you since you came into the spotlight after all.

She couldn't do that if you guys continued to fake flirt with each other platonically. 

But as your verse in the song was coming up, you got up and adjusted the sheer black leggings, opting to leave your form-fitting black mini skirt hiked up on your thighs. You wouldn't lie and say that you didn't wear this because you knew how Jo looked at you. Your legs. 

Whether it was just friendly or romantically, romantically for sure, she'd make any comment she could about the way your legs looked and it was always made with her eyes trailing up and down them, then pulling you to sit on her lap. 

The band had to know you guys were never going to be just friends. Your behavior was more than just friends and the tension would have to be released at some point, so they just would sit and wait til either one of you acted on it. I mean they could only make so many "just fuck already!" comments before it got old. 

So leaving the skirt to reveal almost all of your legs was definitely the right move. And it was. Walking closer to Jo, and raising the mic to your lips, her eyes trailed from your ankle doc marten shoes all the way up to the apex of your thighs. Oh how she wished she had you alone so she could see what was under. 

As you started to sing, the other instruments faded to allow just Josette's guitar to be heard and she played it so well. You watched her fingers as you sung. She took notice and sunk to her knees and played, abandoning looking at the strings. The same song you guys played when you noticed your feelings for her weren't just platonic anymore. You continued to sing the verse, this time with Katie and Naomi, and some of the boys. Your eyes focused on the pretty brown ones in front of you. 

You reached down and cupped their chin, their chest rising and falling rapidly as they continued to move their fingers at an insanely fast pace. You then sunk to your knees right in front of Jo, your faces inches apart as you sang the last of what you needed to. 

It was now or never. 

You had promised yourself that today you were gonna tell her or show her how you felt, what was the harm in that? You play it off as the normal concert shenanigans if it went south...that'd work right? Oh well. If it did work out, a little hard launch never hurt no one. 

Moving the microphone from your lips, your eyes watching the brunette in front of you waiting for her to look back up at you. When she did, you finally leaned in. 

Your lips connecting, in what felt the best kiss you had in your entire fucken life. You felt like it was only you two in the world and her lips felt like the only lifeline available. God did her lips feel like heaven on earth. 

You knew you made the right decision when Josette completely kissed you back. She was thanking every lucky star and sapphic god in the universe that you felt the same way she did. She would've thought otherwise if you didnt slip your tongue in her mouth and kissed her for two more seconds before pulling away. 

When the two of you pulled apart, the crowd was losing their fucking minds. You turned and looked, as the song ended, Julien running up to your side and kissing your cheek, you saw that the crowd, at least 95% of them, had their phones out. 

You knew that this was definitely gonna be everywhere in the next 10 minutes and you honestly couldn't be happier. 

After the show, you were in your dressing room, door ajar to let anyone know that they could walk in if needed. 

No one had walked in so when you heard the door shut you were scared as you had been scrolling through your Instagram, airpods in, your back facing the door while you sat at your vanity. You turned and saw Jo standing there, bouquet of pink, red, and orange tulips with a hint of babies breath. Tulips and babys breath were your favorite flowers and you had told Jo the meaning of them which made you love them even more so seeing these after one of the longest tours you guys had been on together was heartwarming and tear inducing. 

"Hey, jojo." You beamed at the most beautiful human being in front of you. 

"Hey, pretty lady." She handed you the flowers and you turned and set them down on the vanity, turning back to face them. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" A slight blush creeped up on her perfect cheekbones but an even more noticeable smirk took solace on he rlips. 

"Oh my god, Jo. You're so beautiful, you know that?" You giggles adjusting a fallen curl on her forehead while repeating her compliment back to her. Your hand ended up on her cheek, your other following suit. Somewhere along then and now their arms wrapped around your waist, their fingertips ghosting under the black cropped longsleeve you were still wearing from the show. 

"Can I kiss you, gorgeous?" They whispered, their face insanely close to yours. Your knees were weak, your skin was on fire at the mere thought that Josette Maskin, your lifelong, queer celebrity crush, wanted you, and thought you were the most beautiful thing in this world. You could barely even breathe properly. 

"Yes." You faintly whispered. She almost missed it. Almost. Soon her lips found yours, in what started as small tender kiss soon became a heated makeout. Josette picked you up off the ground, her hands finding place in where she's only ever dreamed of putting them. Her hand picking you up from your thighs, might they say dangerously close to the part of your body that's begged and cried for her for the last year. 

She scooted the flowers over, and placed you down on the vanity, her hands gripping your hips for dear life. Almost as if they didn't, you'd disappear forever. Your hands immediately ran through the short curls on the top of their head. As the kiss progressed, your tongues now dancing together, your arms dropped and just hung off her shoulders. Your body weak but all the strength and love imaginable to ever be possessed by a human being, in your body, being poured into the passionate, long overdue makeout session. 

Once Jo's hands found the sides of your legs, a small moan escaping your lips, a satisfied groan leaving their lips, none other than Naomi knocked on the door. "Yeah uh we gotta go! So wrap up whatever moaning and groaning is going on in there, and let's get a move on. We're all hungry." Not breaking the kiss the whole time. 

You kissed down Jo's jawline and down the column of their neck before they panted, "C'mon baby. We gotta go. As much as I love this and don't want to stop...we have to." You looked up at her, pupils blown, and smile on your face, you sighed. 

"Baby, huh?" You smirked at her. A small giggle escaping your lips. God, you were so whipped. 

They leaned down and gave you one last very passionate kiss, and laughed. "Yes. You're my pretty girl, arent you?" Her eyebrow grew slanted, making a questioning look. You kissed the crease in between her eyebrows, grabbed your flowers from behind you and hopped off the vanity. 

"Of course. Wouldn't want it any other way, baby. You and me," you pointed between the two of you as you reached for her hand as you walked backwards. "are forever, baby." You pulled her along behind you until her feet caught up with yours, as you walked out the dressing room. 

Her arm now reaching behind you, pinching your ass for second before wrapping around your waist. "Never forget it, gorgeous." 

This turned out to be best show of your entire lives.

[elliespassagerprincess]

Omg if you’d be willing to do another boy genius song I loved the first one so much could you do cool about it it’s my favorite from them 🫶

Cool about it - (ellie williams x reader)

hi anon! I would love to do another boygenius one, I literally love them and thank you for the compliment! I hope you enjoy:)

This story is based off the song Cool about it by Boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to send one! you can send me a song and I'll take it from there!

HUGE Warning: mental illness, murder, descriptions of murder, gore, mentions of touching a body, a small description of a dead animal, and Ellie being unhinged (as per usual)

Summary: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.

wc: 1.7k

Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool

And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos

Ask you easy questions about work and school

I'm trying to be cool about it

Feelin' like an absolute fool about it

Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it

Tellin' myself I can always do without it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

When Ellie met you, she knew her life was going to change. Whether it was for better or for worse, she didn't care.

Dina recently came out as bisexual and according to her, she needed to "meet hot girls". She dragged Ellie to a local lesbian bar and Ellie hated every fucking second of it.

She wanted to go home so fucking bad. She wanted to sleep-

"hi"

Ellie's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a voice talking from behind her. The voice of an angel, she would describe it. That voice that changed her entire life, from that moment on.

Ellie turned her head to see you.

And yeah maybe coming to the bar that night wasn't such a bad idea.

The two of you talked for hours about how shitty your college is, you talked about how Ellie wanted a promotion at the Café she was currently working at. The two of you made fun of the bartenders neck tattoos.

It was a really a night to remember.

Ellie had gotten your number and she immediately asked you out on date. And you quickly said yes. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Ellie Williams.

You made Ellie feel like a fucking fool. You were making her do things she's never done before.

She showed up to the restaurant 2 hours early, so she could choose the best table, so she could make sure the area was safe.

Her palms were wet with sweat the closer as she watched the minutes go by as she was waiting for you.

Ellie's eyes lit up when you walked info the restaurant, the air in her lungs were knocked out as you walked towards her.

You were beautiful.

"Hi" you gave her a small smile before she got up to hug you. As Ellie wrapped her arms around you, the scent of your perfume overtook her senses.

The two of you fit together like a puzzle pieces.

The date was amazing. You talked like you had known each other for years, despite only knowing each other a week at that point in time.

As the evening came to an end you told Ellie something she didn't want to hear.

"Look I'm not looking for something serious, just casual hook ups that's all. No feelings attached"

"no feelings?" Ellie asked in shock

"Yeah" you replied. "Just be cool about it"

How could she be cool with only hooking up with the girl, she thought was her soulmate?

I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask

So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"

I remember it's impossible to pass your test

But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true

Ellie hoped that one day you'd call her and say that you regret only hooking up with her. She hoped that you'd tell her that you wanted more than sex.

But at this rate Ellie doesn't think that will happen.

You'd only call her when you were alone or bored, and Ellie being stupid and in love, always went.

She'd drop everything for you.

She knows this is toxic, being in love with someone you know will never fucking love you is bad.

But Ellie hoped this was a test.

She hoped you were testing her, testing her loyalty. It was unlikely, but she always had hope.

You were in Ellies mind, like a fucking plague. Like a fly that wouldn't go away.

Everything she looked at, everything she smelt or touched reminded her of you. And she was sick of it.

She saw you in her dream, and in her nightmares. Ellie saw you everywhere.

She already couldn't have you, now you were haunting her.

Is this some kind of joke? Did you ask a spell on her?

She'd beg the stars above to have mercy on her. To make her even forget about your existence entirely. But she couldn't.

You were there to stay. To haunt her. To mock her. Maybe one day she'll move on, but for now she has to deal with being with your side chick.

If only you'd given her a chance, you'd still be alive right now.

Once, I took your medication to know what it's like

And now I have to act like I can't read your mind

I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie

"Ellie when last have you taken your medication?" Joel asked as he walked into Ellie's room.

Empty plates and cups littered the room as he saw a few bugs run around.

Ellie's head snapped towards the door when she heard him talk.

"Ellie you know you need it" Joel tried talking with her again

"I dont"

"you'll hurt someone if you don't drink it" he tried reasoning with her

"I'm fine, I won't hurt anyone"

"don't lie Ellie"

"Joel get the fuck out" and with a sigh Joel left the room.

"I need to get into her mind" Ellie spoke aloud even though there was no one there.

"She left me Barry... why would she leave me for her?"

She needed to know why you didn't want her. She needed to know why you chose some blonde bitch over her.

She was cool with the arrangement that the two of you had. Strictly sex and nothing else. She got to see you, she got to spend time with you, but now that you have someone else.

You stopped seeing her.

What made Abby so special, that you could commit to her and not to Ellie? What was wrong with her?

"What can we do?"

"Hurt her? No that's not nice Barry" she told him.

"Wait so you're saying if we kill her no one will touch her?" She asked him.

"If she says no i'll hurt her...yeah thanks Barry"

Ellie excitedly got up from her bed as she reached out to grab her phone. She quickly texted you asking you to come over because the two of you had to talk about something important.

You said you'd be there in an hour and grin spread across Ellie's face.

Joel had left the house to go to see Ellie's therapist. He was very fucking concerned and he was afraid for his own safety.

Joel knew there was something wrong with Ellie since she was 5 years old.

She was playing out in the garden, before Joel called her in a for dinner. But Ellie excitedly told him "come look, I made a friend!"

With smile Joel walked out, but his smile was soon overcome with pure horror and shock.

Blood littered the grass a squirrel lay there cut in half.

Joel turned to Ellie as she looked at him with a big smile.

"Barry made me do it!"

Therapy session after therapy session, but yet no one knew why a 5 year old was killing animals.

They told Joel he was being overdramatic, that she was just acting out. But the older Ellie grew, the more violent her acts became.

She killed animals, she hurt her friends. She wasn't a kid acting out, she was a girl with a serious problem.

They gave her medication, to keep whoever Barry was quite. Without barry Ellie lived a happy life. A peaceful life.

But now, because of you, for the first time in years, she heard Barry talk to her again.

Barry always knew best in Ellie's eyes.

Ellie quickly cleaned the living room, before she hopped into the shower. All you needed to do was say yes, and she wouldn't hurt you.

Just say yes.

But we don't have to talk about it

I can walk you home and practice method acting

I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning

Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing

Even though we know it isn't true

"please give me one chance" Ellie begged.

She watched you lower your heard as you let out a sigh.

"Ellie I can't, you know I don't feel the same way"

"Please try" she begged.

She hoped you would say yes. She didn't want to hurt you. You would be ok, you would walk out of here alive if only you said yes to her.

The love Ellie had for you was killing her. It felt like she was drowning.

Either you let her love you or she'd make sure nobody would ever love you again.

Ellie felt the cold blade of the knife dig into her back. She had hid the knife behind the chair she was sitting at and all she wanted was for you to say yes.

She needed you to just give her a chance and everybody would be happy. Everybody would be safe and you would leave alive.

"Ellie I said no"

Ellie's eye slightly twitched as she took a deep breathe. She closed her eyes lowering her head into her hands.

why didn't you just say yes?

She got up grabbing the knife, hiding it behind her back as she made her way towards you.

With tears in her eyes, Ellie looked at you and said "you should've said yes"

You looked at Ellie as she towered over you, you opened your mouth to say something but you suddenly felt something cold in your shoulder.

You looked to your seeing there was a knife, with eyes wide you looked back at Ellie as you let out a whimper.

"Why?" You asked her, as you felt the unbearable pain in your shoulder.

"you should've said yes" Ellie repeated, as she removed the blade from your shoulder.

You let out a cry, when the blade was pulled from your shoulder.

You tried moving away from Ellie, but she was bigger than you and much stronger. You had nowhere to run and all you could do was accept your fate.

Ellie brought the knife down as she stabbed you in the stomach.

"You should've said yes" she repeated.

The knife was pulled from my stomach, and she slashed your left cheek.

"You should've said yes"

She brought the knife directly into your eye socket.

"You should've said yes" she repeated as she slit your throat.

"You should've said yes" Ellie yelled as she repeatedly brought the knife down, stabbing you all over your body.

Blood spattered everywhere, and there wasn't an inch of your skin that was left uncut or without blood.

The last words you ever heard that day was "you should've said yes"

maybe you should have.

Ellie threw the knife somewhere in the room as heavy breathes left her mouth. Ellie looked down at your body, with a small smile on your face.

"We did it", she muttered to herself.

Ellie gently placed your still warm, and still bleeding body onto the floor, before she got onto her knees to give you a kiss on your forehead.

"I'm sorry I hurt you" she brought her hand up to wipe the blood from your lips.

"but it had to be done"

She lowered herself onto your chest. Ellie lay there cuddling with your dead body, she closed her eyes and she let out a hum of approval.

She's definitely has to thank Dina for taking her to that bar.

Authors note: well I've been posting everyday for the last 4 days and I'm so sorry for spamming, but I have so many requests and I'm trying to get everything done for yall. So just know for the next few days, I'll be feeling you with ALOT of content lmfao.Remember you are loved and to always be kind. I love you all.

Yours truly,

Zia:)

[taintedcigs]

modern!steve popular culture hcs:

loves taylor swift. this is obvious. 1989 is his go to album when he's getting ready (especially during his hair care routine). he thinks style and wildest dreams were written FOR HIM. is not afraid to sing the songs out loud and sometimes annoys u a lot by singing them in a really high-pitched voice. sings "he's so TALLLL and handsome as HELLLL, he's so bad but he does it so well." at you with a wink and pointing to himself, fully believing it's written about him, you can't convince him otherwise.

rom-com lover. through and through. he used to hide it but he just can't anymore. loooves 10 things i hate about you, how to lose a guy in 10 days, and notting hill. he also enjoys all of katherine heigl's iconic rom-coms.

LOVES MUSICALS. mamma mia is in his top 3 on letterboxd (he loves abba SO MUCH). and he cried watching la la land and regularly listens to the soundtrack.

he can't watch horror movies for the life of him. he got creeped out by the idea of coraline and still can't get himself to watch it. (robin dressed up as the other mother for halloween and steve SCREAMED.)

he's one of those people WHO loves watching movies that are so bad that they are ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECES. also have a feeling he laughs really hard at those 00s parody movies. idk why. it's what bonded him and eddie. and they have a marathon of bad parody movies when they're stoned tf out of their mind. they just told me.

he loves ANYTHING pop. (he loves fantasize by ariana grande and has begged u on countless occasions to do the dance on tiktok and only send it to him) and he loves himself some alt-pop and occasionaly indie stuff like lana, lorde, arctic monkeys, death cab for cutie, sufjan stevens, inhaler, franz ferdinand, band of horses and boygenius!!!

also random but he'd be such a trashy reality tv fan.... watching ALL of them with you... love island, jersey shore, housewives, dANCE MOMS, any other horrible netflix reality tv... like at first he scoffs at you for it, but then he does that dad stance. just standing and watching whatever you're watching, then finally after a few hours, he takes a seat next to you, fully immersed in the experience, not even letting YOU look at your phone, and he's sitting on the edge of the couch, staring at the tv like a man-possessed while critiquing the show and doing commentary like they can hear him.

the most "metal" he can listen to is literally fall out boy. (eddie keeps making fun of him for this. you are now sending metal songs to steve, day by day, trying to get him to like it, just so that eddie won't make fun of your poor angel bf anymore<3)

this is self-indulgent but he's a twilight fanboy through and through... team edward but he feels bad for jacob (sadly... you have an argument about this each time and once you bring up jacob claiming a baby he's dead silent), has a tradition w u to watch them every fall. he acts like he's seeing it for the first time each time u guys watch it.

likes harry potter (fuck jkr forever, u guys don't engage in the content and u 🏴‍☠️ both the movies n books:)) bc he grew up with the movies but if you're a harry potter nerd, he'd poke fun at THAT A LOOT. HE'S A LIL TEASING ASSHOLE. "oh that wasn't very slytherin of you!" "i thought you were supposed to be brave, huh? aren't you a gryffindor, babe?" he taunts with a loud chuckle, enjoying the way you narrow your gaze at him.

[wannab-urs]

For the sleepover

Do me a favor

My baby boy, Dieter

Congratulations again babe! I love you!

Thank you bb I love you and I'm really excited about this fic

For the Record

Pairing: Record Shop Owner!Dieter x f!Reader

Summary: You go to a record store looking for something specific and end up on a date with the owner. 

Warnings/Content: Dieter Bravo being Dieter Bravo, excessive name dropping of bands I like, grungy Dieter wearing Doc Martens and covered in tattoos, reader going to a strangers house like an idiot, kissing, fingering, oral f!receiving, unprotected piv (this is not real life. Don’t be dumb), one tiny little ass slap, praise, creampie, no use of Y/N, WC: ~2900

Notes: Bravo Records is based on Grimey’s in Nashville, TN which you should absolutely visit if you get the chance. Unfortunately it isn’t owned by Dieter Bravo. Thank you @theywhowriteandknowthings for the beta read and the encouragement <;3

Dieter Bravo Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

You’re on the hunt for a Replacements' album, Tim, specifically. Ironically, you’re replacing it in your collection, having lost it to your ex boyfriend. Note to self: never combine your record collection with anyone ever again. 

This morning you’d googled “record shops near me” and scrolled past Walmart and Target, no thank you, and settled on Bravo Records. The blurb advertised it as a “Laid-back music shop specializing in vintage, pressed recordings, CDs & cassette tapes,” and mentioned a bookstore in the basement and a consignment shop out back. 

Pulling into the gravel parking lot, you take in the building. There are murals depicting perfect recreations of album covers on the brick walls of the store. If you couldn’t see the brushstrokes when you got up close, you’d think they were somehow printed on. The bright yellow of Metallica’s 72 Seasons, the hands reaching for the sky on Boygenius’ The Record, both newer releases. But there’s also The Clash’s London Calling and The Stooges’ Fun House. 

Whoever owns this place has taste. You step into the shop, eyes immediately drawn to the oddly curved ceiling and the exposed brick walls, covered in posters and random paintings. There are 6 sets of shelves running almost the entire length of the store up to a small clearing in the back. There’s a surprisingly large stage beyond that, someone playing the guitar and reciting poetry, a smattering of people leaned against the shelves, listening. 

“Welcome to Bravo’s,” a deep but cheery voice rings in your ear. You let out a small yelp and turn sharply to face the source. “Oh! Didn’t mean to scare you. I was just downstairs and heard the door… I’m Dieter, by the way.”

You take in the man now standing in front of you. He’s wearing a very faded Nirvana shirt stretched within an inch of its life across his broad chest and shoulders. It probably used to be black, but now it’s a bit gray, and there are holes in the seams of the collar. His wide legged pants are black and flowy, you almost mistake them for a skirt until he leans against the counter and crosses his legs. His Docs are scuffed, clearly worn in, maybe vintage. You trail your eyes back up his body, noting the various tattoos on his hands and arms, all black ink and thick linework. You settle back on his face and find his eyebrows arched over deep brown eyes, plush lips in a pout. His beard is scruffy, patchy, and his hair looks like he just rolled out of bed. 

“Find anything you like?” He smirks at you and you suddenly realize you just silently checked him out for a good 10 seconds. Your cheeks heat and you clear your throat. 

“Um… I’m looking for Tim? The album I mean, not the guy, I don’t even know a Tim. By the Replacements? Do you know it?” You sound like an idiot oh god. 

He barely restrains a chuckle, mirth dancing in his eyes, “Yeah, I know it. I only have a first pressing in the original sleeve… is that okay?” He crosses his arms over his chest and holy shit. His biceps are huge. You bite your lip and nod. 

“Yes! Er… um. How much is it?” You wince. There’s no way it’s gonna fit in your pitifully small budget. 

Dieter tilts his head to the side and scrunches his eyebrows up, two lines forming between them. He brings a hand to his unruly hair and tugs. So that’s why he looks like he just got thoroughly fucked. He perks his head up suddenly, almost like he heard your thoughts.

“Do you wanna go out with me?” 

“What?”

“Oh! I mean go out for coffee with me and you can have the record.”

“I can’t just take it for free, Dieter!” 

“Of course you can. I’m the owner. It’s my record. Do you not want to go out with me?” His face scrunches up again and fuck. He’s really cute. 

“Of course I want to go out with you,” you splutter, shocking yourself. 

“It’s settled then. Let’s go!” He turns and walks out the door and you scramble to keep up with him. 

“Now? Don’t you have to run the shop?” 

“Nah, Chrissy can handle it,” he waves his hand like it’s no big deal and heads for the street. “It’s just right down the road.” 

–-

Coffee with Dieter is amazing. He orders a sweet monstrosity, frozen, topped with whipped cream and 3 kinds of syrup. You try to order your favorite drink, but he insists you get the same thing as him. 

“Just trust me!” You’ve literally just met the man, but you think you do trust him. There’s just something about him. He learns your name when you give it to the barista and you apologize profusely for being too flustered to properly introduce yourself. 

He just laughs and guides you to a pair of armchairs in the corner, kicking off his boots to reveal mismatched socks – one a dark purple tall sock with embroidered grapes on it, the other an ankle sock with a print of Starry Night on it – and settles cross legged into the chair. You tell him you like his socks. 

He asks you about what you do for work, where you’re from, what your favorite movies are, an endlessly easy and flowing conversation, peppering in his own answers and arguing with you when you tell him that Judd Apatow movie about making a movie during covid was awful. He asks you what your holy grail album is, the one you’d kill to have in your collection. You don’t even have to think about it.

“The Velvet Underground and Nico, original pressing, with the sticker still on it. I’ll never be able to afford it though. I’ve never even seen one in real life.”

“Do you want to?” He looks at you with a shit eating grin and a mischievous glint in his eyes. 

“What? Want to see one in real life? I mean… yeah?” 

“Let’s go then!” He jumps up, pulling his boots back on and heading for the door. You’re again hustling to keep up with him. You follow him out onto the sidewalk. 

“Dieter! Go where?” 

“To my house!” You grab his arm and pull him to a stop. 

“Why are we going to your house?” You’re exasperated.

“To show you the record. You wanted to see it right?” 

“You do not have it. Dieter, there’s no way… One of them just sold for 25k.”

“I do have it. My dad bought it when it came out and now it’s mine.” He takes off walking again, grabbing your hand and pulling you along with him. 

“Is this some sort of ploy to get me to go home with you? You could have just asked.” 

“I know! I mean… fuck. I’m being serious. I have the record upstairs.” He suddenly comes to a stop in front of an apartment building. “If you want, you can wait here and I’ll bring it down. Just promise not to rob me, yeah?” You huff out a frustrated breath. 

“No, it’s fine. I’ll come in with you.” 

His face lights up and he threads his fingers through yours again. It feels nice, holding his hand. He pulls you up the stairs with him and unlocks his door, and you step into his living room. His apartment was clearly supposed to be one of those industrial chic, modern type spaces, but he clearly didn’t care for that style. There are paintings and posters covering every square inch of wall space. “I take it you decorated the shop then?” 

“Yep! I do all the murals too.” Fuck, he can paint too? The concrete floor is covered with rugs of all different shapes, sizes, and textures. There’s a blue couch and some clearly thrifted armchairs off to the left. The right side of the room is absolutely dominated by his record collection. There’s a shelf running the length of the room, standing taller than you and absolutely stuffed with records. On the floor around it are milk crates filled with even more records. 

“Jesus Christ, Dieter, how many records do you have?” You wander over to a crate and start flipping through, finding that he’s organized them by genre. This one is folk punk you notice as you flip through albums by AJJ, Violent Femmes, The Mountain Goats, and more. 

“I genuinely have no idea. I stopped counting back when I was a teenager.” He goes to the shelf, and you decide it must be more organized than it looks because he quickly pulls two albums out and presents them to you. One is the album you asked about in the shop. The other one… 

“Holy shit.” You stare up at him from your crouched position. “Holy fucking shit Dieter you actually have it.”

“I fuckin’ told you! Do you wanna listen to it?” 

“Do I want to listen to it? Are you actually kidding me? Of course I do!!” He grins at you and walks over to his record player beside the couch. He slides the record out of the sleeve gently and places it on the turntable before dropping the needle. You join him on the couch as the first notes of “Sunday Morning” drift into the room. 

“Dieter?” He hums and smiles at you again. “I could kiss you right now. Fuck. Can I kiss you right now?” He looks shocked for a second before taking your face in his hands and pressing his lips to yours. You kiss him back hard, licking into his mouth. He drags you into his lap, your knees settling on the outsides of his thighs. 

You bury your hands in his wild curls and gently tug on them. He groans into your mouth and trails his hands down your body, pulls you even tighter against him. You can feel him getting hard under you, his soft pants doing little to conceal his arousal. You’re not much better off as his lips leave yours and trail down your jaw, your throat, his teeth catching skin as he goes. When “I’m Waiting for the Man,” starts to play, Dieter brings his hands back to your face and pulls you away from him, staring deep into your eyes. 

“Do you wanna have sex with me?” 

You stare at him, shocked for a moment, and then you laugh so hard you fall sideways off his lap. “You know what, Dieter? Yes. I’d like to have sex with you.” 

“Cool,” he breathes out, turning and settling his body over yours. He presses another kiss to your lips and you tug on his shirt. He pulls back long enough to strip it off and you take yours off too. He lays sloppy, open mouthed kisses on your throat and chest, mumbling praises into your skin as he works your jeans and panties down your thighs. You kick them off as he makes his way down to your core. You’re wetter than you’ve ever been in your entire life. He’s so fucking gorgeous. All golden skin beautifully covered in black ink. 

“I think you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” Dieter whispers into the space between your thighs. Your hands fly to his hair as he licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit, immediately closing his lips around it and sucking lightly. Your head falls back and a moan rips from your throat. 

He presses a thick finger into you and it’s fucking bliss. He feels so good already. He curls his finger upwards, swirling his tongue in circles around your clit at the same time. Your hands drop to his shoulders as he adds another finger and starts thrusting them into you, curling on every upstroke into your g-spot. 

“Fuck! Dieter… feels so good. Don’t stop.” 

“Shhh baby, I can’t hear the song.” 

You dig your nails into his shoulders, laughing and on the verge of coming at the same time. He slips his tongue down to join his fingers at your entrance and buries his nose against your clit and you’re gone. The shaking of your body from laughing at him quickly gives over to shuddering as your core tightens around his fingers. You cry out, pure euphoria washing over your whole body. 

“That’s it baby. Fuck, you’re squeezing my fingers so tight. Look so pretty coming for me.” Dieter talks you through it until the haze of your orgasm fades. “Here or the bed?” 

“Here. Get in me. Now.” You grab at his hair, pulling his face back up to yours. You kiss your own slick off his lips hungrily as he clumsily shoves his pants down far enough for his cock to spring out. He slides it through your folds a few times before notching it at your entrance. 

You grab his hips and pull him into you, throwing your head back and arching your hips up into him. “Impatient.” He grumbles it into your neck, but thrusts himself into the hilt, clearly as desperate as you. He barely gives you a chance to adjust before he’s drawing back and thrusting into you again. His breath leaves him in a low growl that has a new gush of slick coating his cock. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him back into you every time he pulls out. His thrusts are shallow from this angle, but he’s slamming into you so hard it doesn’t matter. You slot your lips together, not really kissing, just breathing each other in. 

“Dieter, I’m gonna come again,” you can feel your walls tightening around him, drawing him deeper into you. He shifts his angle slightly so that his pelvis grinds against your clit every time his hips meet yours. Your nails dig into the meat of his shoulders, dragging down to his lower back as your whole body tightens and spasms around him. 

For a moment, as you catch your breath, you think your hearing must have gone out. Dieter is buried to the hilt inside you, torso pressed flush to yours, but you don’t hear the music anymore. “Want me to flip it to the B side?” Oh. He just fucked you for the entire A side of the track and he’s still not done. 

“Yeah sure,” you huff a laugh into his hair. He lifts up, presses a kiss to your lips and pulls out of you with a groan. Your cunt flutters around nothing, missing the feeling of him inside you already. You get a good look at his cock now – thick, uncut, drooling precum and covered in your release. He’s so pretty. 

 He flips the record to the B side and then pushes his pants down the rest of the way, leaving them in a black puddle on the floor. He grabs your hips and flips you over onto your stomach. “Thought I’d get a look at your B side too,” Dieter says and you can hear the smirk in his voice. 

“I think I hate you,” you mumble into the cushions. He just laughs and settles one knee on the couch, his other foot planted on the floor. He taps your ass cheek lightly.

“Up on your knees, pretty girl.” You shift to comply and he settles his hands on your hips, helping you up and burying his cock in you again in one smooth motion. 

“Fuck!” Your arms buckle and you drop to your elbows as he rails you. The new angle is so good it almost hurts. He uses his grip on your hips to pull you into every thrust, punching the breath out of you and turning your brain to mush. You couldn’t tell him what song is playing right now if your life depended on it. All you hear is your own strangled moans and the praises he’s crying out into the air. 

“So fucking beautiful. You’re so tight and wet, fuck. I’m gonna come baby. Can I come in your pretty pussy? Please?” You nearly come again at that. The thought of being full of him. 

“Yes! Yes! Dieter. Come in me. Need it. Please!” He buries himself inside you and stays there and you can actually feel his cock jump inside you, hot spurts of cum filling you up. He curls himself over your back and you both collapse into the couch. 

He rolls onto his side, pulling you with him and tucking your back to his chest. He doesn’t pull out of you, just tangles your legs together and wraps his arms around you. You both just lay there in a daze, listening to the rest of the album. When “European Son” fades out and the record starts clicking, Dieter finally slips his softened cock from you. He stands up and puts the record back in its sleeve, filing it back on the shelf. 

“If I go to the bathroom, will you still be here when I get back, or are you gonna steal my record and break my heart?” 

“Of course I’m gonna steal it,” you smile at him, still stretched out on the couch and not really planning on moving any time soon. He rolls his eyes, laughing at you and disappearing into the hallway. 

Maybe combining record collections isn’t completely off the table. If it’s with the right person. 

[dontsh0vethesun]

not strong enough

masterlist | boygenius masterlist

natasha romanoff x reader

warnings: fluff, super soft and in love natasha, a little kissy kiss, angst; implied death, sad r

‘coming to in the front seat, nearly empty. skip the exit to our old street and go home, go home alone’

wc: 1k

She whispered ‘good morning’ against the skin of your cheek and smiled at your stirring, the ease of the smile that crept onto your lips when you were reminded of her presence, just waking up with her warm body beside you. You uttered the greeting back, sighing contentedly as you wrapped your arm over her waist and pulled her closer. 

“Please don’t make me get up yet,” you said and she huffed a laugh against your temple. 

“Sorry, honey, but we’ve got a busy day ahead of us,” she answered with a tap of your arm to get up, making you groan when she pulled the duvet away from you. “Chop chop, sleepyhead.”

Though you wished to have a little longer in bed, it made your heart warm to see her humming along to a song you couldn’t hear, a small and constant smile staying on her lips. You’d give everything to keep her smiling, she deserves nothing less. You watched her from the doorway as she packed a bag, a certain giddiness you loved to see from her written with a glow to her skin. 

The smile stayed firmly in place on the drive to the beach and never wavered as you sat together on the sand. You had a sandcastle competition in which she apparently ‘let you win’ and drank homemade lemonade from plastic cups. 

“This is so perfect, Nat,” you muttered, leaning your head against her shoulder and leaning into her body when she curved an arm around you. “I wish that we could stay in this moment forever. Just me and you.”

“Me and you, huh?” she smiled. “Against the world?” 

“Of course,” you nodded. “Who else could catch all the bad guys while looking as good as we do?” 

“You’re right— of course,” she laughed. “But the day’s not quite over.”

You looked at her for her to continue and it was as though all words she had ready had vanished and instead all she could think of was kissing you. So she did. Her lips slotted with yours with ease, her palm cupping your cheek and her citrus-flavoured tongue licking into your mouth. 

No kiss could make you crumble this way, no kiss could ever feel so earth-shatteringly right. She smiled at you mischievously when she pulled away for air, not giving you time to question her before she tickled your sides, giggling as she did so while you laughingly squirmed to get away. 

“Nat, stop,” you pouted but it only made her laugh even more, peppering your face with kisses. 

“Now that the tickle monster has defeated you, it’s time for you to lose at every single game at the carnival.”

-

Annoyingly, she wasn’t wrong but she was at least chivalrous enough to win you a couple of prizes, a bear with orange hair you graced with her namesake was your favourite; it’ll live on the dashboard of your car forever. 

“Natalia Junior is gonna have the best life,” you mused as she watched on adoringly whilst you shared some popcorn at a picnic table, the bright and colourful lights of the fairground illuminating her skin. “She’s gonna go on road trips, I can show her what it’s like in a car wash - she wouldn’t get that living here.”

“Mhm and she wouldn’t have to listen to your awful car singing either,” Natasha chimed in, giggling at the scowl you shot her way. “I’m sorry, little bear, but your mom’s claimed you now. There’s no escape.” She stage whispered the words to the bear, throwing her a sympathetic smile. 

“You’re not allowed to gang up on me here. It’s carnival law,” you pouted, shoving her slightly which only made her laugh. 

“Then let’s go,” she answered, standing up from where she sat, taking the toy with her protectively with a nod of her head for you to follow. “You’re driving.“

—

As though it was an initiation into the family, the ears of your beloveds were blessed with your singing along with the radio. Natasha didn’t mind it. She just watched you as you drove, smiling softly as always. Her happiness was fuelled by yours.

“Take a left at the end of this street,” she spoke with a point, buzzing with excitement at the nearing of her final surprise of the day. “There’s a broken picket fence. you’ll see the turning,” she added. 

“Uh, okay?” you spoke, seeing it in the distance. “Where are we going?”

“Bozhe moi, can’t a girl surprise her wife?” she muttered playfully. “Patience is a virtue, sweet girl. Now keep on down this road until you reach the willow tree.”

You did as she said, though not without a mumble of faux annoyance beneath your breath. And at the end of the street, just as she’d said, was a glorious willow tree and an equally perfect house. 

Home. 

What you’d both so desperately longed for. Together. A place to call your own to settle down, the beginning of a happy ever after made of bricks and stone; windows looking out into a garden she’d already filled with sunflowers. 

“It’s perfect, Nat.” you’d muttered through tears of joy, leaning into her touch when she’d embraced you from behind. 

“Just like you.” 

And just like that the blinkers of your car were clicking to go left, that landmark of a worn-down fence guiding your way. The music in the car was on but you’d not been singing along, your thoughts were everywhere and nowhere and all of that space in between. 

The same bear looked at you from across the dashboard, head lopsided and colour faded from the sun over the years. 

You almost turned left, down the street to where the tree stands tall. But you’d not dared to for weeks. You couldn’t stomach it. So you turn right instead, in the direction of Wanda’s house where you’d been staying on the sofa, head in her lap night after night with tears on your cheeks and the empty space that Natasha used to occupy heaving with an ache in your chest.

[azzypzazzy]

Love Me Anyway

warnings: mild cursing

summary: reader and charlie had been friends since they were kids, and dated in private for a while until they broke up, and they’re now alone together for the first time in forever.

wordcount: 861

a/n: title is based off of love me anyway by chappell roan because it’s actually such a good song and i listened to it while thinking about this, which was based off of a dream and a few boygenius songs (emily im sorry my beloved). anyways, this is a little blurb i wrote, which im not sure if im gonna continue, honestly depends if anyone actually cares. also wrote this because i recently went through a shitty breakup so why not

“Charlie?” His eyes met yours, concern plastered on your face.

He took a moment. It felt unnatural. Everything had. Having to ask you, the person who knew him best, how life has been. It irked him, not knowing a thing about you anymore, “Sorry. I’ve been alright. Just streaming, trying to figure everything out.” 

You nodded, fiddling with the bracelets around your wrist. And Charlie couldn’t help but notice, “Something wrong?” 

Another pause. 

He always knew when something was wrong. “Not really. I guess I’ve just been a bit off, you know..” Your voice trailed off, never framing it as a question. He always knew. 

“Definitely,” he mumbled, his hand reaching up to itch the bottom of his jaw. All he wanted to do was pull you into his arms, be there for you, be the one for you. He had to be. Instead, he sat next to you, cramped in the car, desperate to distract himself. “Anything new with you?” 

You finally smiled, a faint chuckle escaping your lips, “Didn’t you ask me that already?” 

Seeing you happy allowed him to finally breathe, the tension between you two a bit lighter. “Guess I did.” 

He knew you hadn’t told him the full truth. And you had to know he knew. 

You sucked in a breath, “I got a new job a bit ago.” 

“That’s good to hear, glad you finally quit serving. Place was a fucking dump,” He paused. It was subtle, but he couldn’t miss how your expression changed, how you now couldn’t look him in the eye. “Uh, so what’re you up to now?”

Your eyes darted out the window, probably looking to see if your friends were coming back to your rescue. After a moment you responded with a mumble, “I didn’t quit or anything, just started picking up shifts at the Citgo. My ex moved out a bit ago, and the place isn’t really fit for a roommate, so ‘m trying to pick up the slack.” 

Oh. You had a boyfriend. 

Charlie swallowed, barely able to collect himself to comfort you. “Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s—It’s fine,” You shook your head. Your hand had moved up from your bracelets to your rings. “It was for the better anyways, he was an asshole.” 

“If it helps, I haven’t had much luck romantically either,” He admitted, his eyes meeting yours again. Did it? 

The corners of your lips turned up subtly, only enough for Charlie to notice. “That sucks. But uh, at least we’ve still got time, right?” 

“Yeah,” He assured you, “We’ve still got plenty of time.” 

Silence filled the car, neither of you knowing how to continue the conversation. 

Charlie’s right leg bounced up and down, his hand resting on his left. “Hey, uh, you remember when we promised to get married if we were still single by twenty five?” He chuckled, anxiously meeting your gaze. He couldn’t tell if it was a good conversation starter, or an extremely weird thing to bring up. 

You once again laughed, a grin staying on your face once you stopped. “Christ, Charlie. We were sixteen, you’re gonna hold me to that?” 

“What? Oh come on—I’m not saying that. I was just thinking about how stupid we were. I mean, married by twenty five. Who even wants that?” He laughed, trying desperately to escape the teasing which was sure to come. 

And come it did, as you let out another cackle, “You do! You totally do! Oh my god, you’re seriously gonna lie about that to me? It’s—Jesus christ man,” You continued to laugh, wiping non existent tears from the corners of your eyes, “It’s fine, just, like, that’s not even that old? Like, why would we ever say that?” 

He turned his head, resting on the window, “I don’t. I really don’t. I’m happy right where I am,” But as you continued your laughing fit it got harder for him to remain serious, forcing him to finally crack a smile. “Well, you could’ve done way worse than me.” 

You took a breath, trying to calm yourself down. “Oh trust me,” Your hand met his shoulder, firmly grabbing him, “I have.” 

He could only laugh more, unsure what to do. Everything was perfect, normal again. Trapped in an isolated moment, in a world of uncertainty. The way the moonlight spilled through the windows to hit your face. The familiar scent of your perfume trapped in the car. The way your crows feet crinkled when you laughed. He’d missed all of it dearly. 

Your arm retreated back to your lap, snapping him back into reality, only to hear you whisper a small apology. 

He felt his breath pick up, worried he just ruined everything he spent all night trying to build up. “No worries,” He tried to smile again, wanting the energy to pick up. Wanting you back. 

“You know, I really missed you,” You admitted, your voice dropping into a small whisper. You fiddled with your own thumbs, the need to fidget still prevalent. 

He took a final breath, trying to calm himself. “I missed you too,” He said, before following it by a whisper, “More than you’ll ever know.” 

[cadaverre]

⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☾ welcome ☽₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆

about me

you can call me juno or astraea

im a cancer sun, libra moon and sagittarius rising

my pronouns are they/she (and my pronoun page is here)

i'm a proud bisexual (i am very sapphic lol)

im taken (you can hear about my love via the “them tag <33")

i am a minor (i won't immediately block people 18+ but if you're creepy i will <3)

australian!! also a bunch of different places, none really interesting

this blog is for me to dump thoughts, interact with people and just have a good time :)

i play the drums and im currently in two bands! i also love playing guitar and one of my 2024 goals is to get better at playing!!

currently listening -> 🍁☕️🎸 nyc

currently reading -> the odyssey translated by emily wilson

currently watching -> doctor who and rewatching gilmore girls

things i like

i love: literature, the arts, queer culture, astronomy, feminism (no terfs allowed!!!!), fruit flavoured drinks, flared pants, converse, dark red, nail polish, eyeliner, burgundy lipgloss, tank tops, tote bags, brie (always dreaming of cheese), pinterest, spotify, my headphones, the ocean, my grandparents house (im there rn i love it), spring+winter, very specific shades of pink and green, black <3, folklore and 1989 girl, fiddling around on the guitar, fantasising about being a famous musician, finding new music, snow, picking silly little outfits,

books: osemanverse, the hunger games, books by rhiannon wilde, tim te maro's subterranean heartsick blues, all the best liars, books by octavia butler (specifically parable of the sower and parable of the talents), the last true poets of the sea, acotar, the weight of the stars, the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, the picture of dorian grey, house of hollow, howls moving castle, harry potter (mainly marauders, FUCK JKR), i kissed shara wheeler, red white and royal blue, song of achilles

movies + tv shows: dont look up, little women (2019), scream (i like most of them but 1996 is my fav by far), ladybird, barbie (2023), some of the mcu (thor and guardians of the galaxy <33), spiderverse (itsv is my love), gilmore girls, stranger things, loki, heartstopper, arcane, scott pilgrim takes off, she ra

musicians/bands: boygenius, taylor swift, lovejoy, glaive, brakence, paramore, ricky jamaraz, melanie martinez, lana del rey, ashnikko, girl in red, billie eilish, doja cat, big thief, adrienne lenker, ethel cain, mitski, remi wolf, cigarettes after sex, ericdoa, tv girl, clairo, the neighbourhood, bon iver, deftones (getting into them just a little), maneskin, courtney barnett, poppy

my favourite colours are black, dark red, burgundy, denim blue, sage green, soft pink, glaucous blue, golden yellow (i love colour theory so all colours are beautiful in their own context but here are my favs to wear/see)

i really want to get into more poetry so if you have any recs lmk!!

i have recently begun practising some very simple witchcraft, so feel free to talk to me about that and i would love to learn more!!

i love learning about astrology and use my birth chart frequently

i write very, very infrequently and think of more stories than i even start to plot lmao.

i draw way more than i write and will occasionally post some!! its not good by any means but its fun ig

talk to me + dni

my asks and dms are open!! feel free to talk to me about anything and everything!! i love talking!!

i love my mutuals so much so if ur my mutual *looks you dead in your eyes* i love you

my discord is the same @ as here, i literally just got it today so idrk how it works but feel free to add me there <33 but please lmk if you do if your username is different

if we’re very close you can ask for my insta!!

i rarely follow people without an intro post/descriptive enough bio (with name, age group, pronouns) so if you want to be mutuals please have one!! if not just shoot me an ask about who you are and what you like so we can be friends <33

dni: rude, racist, homophobic, transphobic, zionist, terfs, sexist, ableist, antisemitic people

tags

#juno.txt -> ramblings, original posts

#asks -> asks ive answered

#ask bait -> hehehe send me asks <3

#tag games -> tag games ive participated in

#beautiful mutuals -> interactions with my beautiful mutuals!

#spotify -> my music obsession dw im fine fhdklfhdal

#them tag <33 -> posts that remind me of my wonderful bf <3

links + sideblogs

spotify

pinterest

@likeasugarcubeinateacup -> my notes app poetry

@slowrotburiedinthepark -> a random sideblog i post art and occasional web weaving on

@stabbingstarsthroughmyback -> my writing sideblog (ask me about my wip!!)

stunning dividers by @chachachannah :))

here is a totally beautiful and amazing moodboard by @svnflowermoon that always makes me so fhadkfhakd

last updated: jan 19th 2024

[ashprompts]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 (𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐔𝐒) — 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒

a collection of sentence starters from the album by boygenius, "the record." feel free to alter pronouns/text as you see fit

"give me everything you've got, i'll take what i can get."

"i want to hear your story and be a part of it."

"who would i be without you?"

"speak to me until your history's no mystery to me."

"talk to me until the words run dry."

"i'll give everything i've got, please take what i can give."

"i want you to hear my story."

"it's a bad idea and i'm all about it."

"when you wake up, i'll be gone again."

"in another life we were arsonists."

"mama told me that it don't run on wishes, but that i should have fun."

"so many hills to die on."

"run out of gas, out of time, out of money."

"you're doing what you can, just making it run."

"take a break, make your escape."

"can you give me twenty dollars?"

"i know you have twenty dollars."

"she's asleep in the back seat looking peaceful enough to me."

"we're coming back from where no one lives."

"[name], i'm sorry."

"i just make it up as i go along."

"i can feel myself becoming someone only you could want."

"now i'm wide awake, spiraling."

"i'll get a real job, you'll go back to school."

"we can burn out in the freezing cold."

"you know how i get when i'm wrong."

"i can feel myself becoming somebody that i'm not."

"i'm 27 and i don't know who i am."

"you can't help but become the sun."

"when you don't know who you are, you fuck around and find out."

"it feels good to be known so well."

"i can't hide from you like i hide from myself."

"you already hurt my feelings in the way only you could."

"i remember who i am when i'm with you."

"your love is tough." / "your love is tried and true blue."

"you've never done me wrong, except for that one time."

"it doesn't matter anymore."

"who won the fight?"

"i don't know, we're not keeping score."

"i'm trying to be cool about it."

"wishing you were kind enough to be cruel about it."

"telling myself i can always do without it, knowing that it probably isn't true."

"it's impossible to pass your tests."

"i'm trying to forget about it."

"kindly get out of my head about it."

"once i took your medication to know what it's like." / "and now i have to act like i can't read your mind."

"i ask you how you're doing and i let you lie."

"we don't have to talk about it."

"i'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning."

"it's nice to see how good you're doing."

"we know it isn't true."

"it would only take the energy to fix it."

"i don't know why i am the way i am."

"not strong enough to be your man."

"i can't stop staring at the ceiling fan."

"spinning out about things that haven't happened."

"do you see us getting scraped up off the pavement?"

"i lied, i am just lowering your expectations."

"half a mind that keeps the other second guessing."

"always an angel, never a god."

"i think i've been having revelations."

"skip the exit to our old street and go home."

"go home alone."

"you live up in my head."

"i've been making music since you told me to do it."

"i just wanna know who broke your nose."

"figure out where they live, so i can kick their teeth in."

"if this isn't love then what the fuck is it?"

"i guess just let me pretend."

"i don't wanna die. that's a lie, but i'm afraid to get sick."

"if you're not enough, then i give up."

"i used to think if i'd just close my eyes, i will disappear."

"if you love me, you will listen to this song."

"i could tell that you were serious."

"it gave us more time to embarrass ourselves."

"i might like you less now that you know me so well."

"there's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in."

"i am not an old man having an existential crisis."

"i never thought you'd happen to me."

"will you be a satanist with me?"

"mortgage off your soul to buy your dream vacation home in florida."

"tryin' to score some off-brand ecstasy."

"will you be an anarchist with me?"

"sleep in cars and kill the bourgeoisie."

"at least until you find out what a fake i am."

"spray paint my initials on an atm."

"i burn my cash and smash my old tv."

"will you be a nihilist with me?"

"if nothing matters, man, that's a relief."

"if nothing can be known, then stupidity is holy."

"if the void becomes a bore, we'll treat ourselves to some self-belief."

"oh, you know what i should do?"

"it's so hard to come back."

"you could absolutely break my heart."

"that's how i know that we're in love."

"i don't need the symbol of a scar."

"isn't it enough that we stripped down to our skin?"

"i feel crazy in ways i never say."

"will you still love me if it turns out i'm insane?"

"i know what you'll say, but it helps to hear you say it anyway."

"damn, that makes me sad." / "it doesn't have to be like that."

"if you rewrite your life, may i still play a part?"

"i can't imagine you without the same smile in your eyes."

"there is something about you that i will always recognize."

"if you don't remember, i will try to remind you."

"i will go on and on until it all comes back."

"i'm out of my depth at a public beach."

"i never listened, i had to see it for myself."

"making peace with my inevitable death."

"i guess i did alright, considering." / "tried to be a halfway decent friend."

"an honest fool with more bad habits than you can count."

"was anyone ever so young?"

"breaking curfew with illegal fireworks."

"unpacking god in the suburbs."

"you don't have to make it bad just cause you know how."

"writing the words to the worst love song you've ever heard."

"an incantation like an anti-curse."

"i think that you're special." / "you told me once that i'm selfish."

"you said my music is mellow, maybe i'm just exhausted."

"you think you're a good person because you won't punch me."

"i love you. i don't know why, i just do."

"you're not special, you're evil."

"you don't get to tell me to calm down."

"you made me feel like an equal, but i'm better than you and you should know that by now."

"it looked like it hurt and i wasn't sorry."

"i should have left you right there."

"you don't know me."

"i wanna be happy."

"i'm ready to walk into my room without looking for you."

"i'll go up to the top of our building."

"i can't feel it yet, but i am waiting."

[kaylor]

I admit I might be getting a bit too sensitive about this but honestly the more I think about Taylor announcing her album there the more tacky, lame and even slightly disrespectful it becomes. Like she got up there announced not knowing who the album of the year would be which like girl try to pretend to be considerate and I know there’s a lot that truly wasn’t in her control but like the fact that her announcement speech was I believe right before the tribute it’s just noooo. on a separate note sometimes she has these slight well intentioned moments where she comes across as inconsiderate that make me cringe alittle like nothing ever too severe or serious but just enough to make me cringe like the boy genius shoot where one of them was panicking and on the verge of tears cuz clearly they were stressing about the cameras but then my girl Taylor’s in the corner like yo yo listen can I place my Grammy on your head 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂

I even laughed and cringed a bit when she invited Lana on stage for the win when lana’s album lost like you could kind of tell she was a bit bummed and even awkward on stage standing in the corner and look not a big deal and even can be a sweet moment but I know in my hearts of heart that if the situation was reversed and somebody did that to my girl Taylor, she would’ve gone home and cried a bit 🫣🫣 okay my bitchy moment is over. I’m sorry about the English cuz it’s not my first language and the whole rant 😔😔

no need to apologize, your english is great! and you're right, the clips i've seen from the boygenius photo moment were so awkward. the way she's been acting recently has rubbed me the wrong way, and it's a bit uncomfortable. like mtv awards or the AMAs are quite casual as awards shows go, but something like the grammy's is a bit more loaded a bit more respected, or the golden globes for example is not her industry, like you've gotta read the room a little. like i know she thinks she's the best thing at the party or whatever but it would be cool if she could let others have their moment. especially when they've won for the first time or they lost (to you!) like just give people a bit of space... and i know this is speculating and extrapolating from small singular moments that were caught on camera but i don't think she's ever been this obnoxious. like girlieee sit down be humble....

[bsaka7]

tagged to post my 9 favourite album with commentary by @mathewbaldzal !!!! we r two peas in a pod i think with having a lot to say about some tunes...

in no particular order...

different class (1995) - pulp. this is not my no1 album of all time because i don't have a favorite album of all time, but this album is in part representative of "getting into music" to me. i love 90s britpop, whatever that means for a random american and this is my fav of em all (though i do actually quite rate this is hardcore in pulp's discography). "common people" is one of the songs of ALL TIME. god jarvis's little sing-song sleazyness gets me. really, really, really great classic performance of it at glasto 1995...for some reason "pencil skirt" also always really hits.

home video (2021) - lucy dacus. the newest album on this list by a long shot, but it's had songs in my top5 year end lists since it came out. i've also seen lucy live <3. this album rises above some of the others in similar company (punisher - phoebe bridgers, the boygenius ep, etc) because i never get tired of it. "first time" "hot & heavy" "brando" and "triple dog dare" are nearly always standbys in my listening history. probably gonna be an album-i-listened-to-in-college classic forever...

songs of love and hate (1971) - leonard cohen. maybe none of my favorite leonard cohen songs are on this album, but as a single work, this album stuns me. possibly the most transfixing 44:21 i've ever heard. his lyricism in particular is -- i can't even describe it. the mix with his voice, the sparseness of the instrumentation at time, the harmonies. i'm not a big stories guy but in this, yeah, the songwriting, the stories. i don't think there's another album like this one out there, really.

if you're feeling sinister (1998) - belle & sebastian. the first time i heard this album, i thought i had never heard an album so perfect. i love songs off of it but i nearly always listen to it whole. i love, love, love b&s's early sound (twee, if you will), and stuart murdoch's lyrics really, really shine. this is one of my favorite albums to listen to when i have a headache because it's lovely to just, focus on but not grating at all. i really love "judy and the dream of horses" and "get me away from here i'm dying". really, a beautiful work

rumours (1977) - fleetwood mac. i was sort of scrolling through some of my playlists trying to decide what to put on this list (it's a bit weighted towards stuff that's in rotation now) and i couldn't leave off fleetwood mac (in part to represent the huge part of my music taste that is like. classics 1965-1980). stevie nicks was one of my earlier music obsessions (the OG was the beatles). so many wonderful songs and riffs. i know this was left off the original 12-inch but "silver springs" is one of my favorite songs forever and ever and ever...

nebraska (1982) - bruce springsteen. when it comes down to it, this is my favorite springsteen album. i do think his 1975-1987 run of albums is pretty much perfect but nebraska is a masterpiece in a way that i find hard to express in words. there's a sense of sparseness and distance in this work (in part bc of how it was recorded) that i find so utterly compelling i can't even describe. "nebraska" - especially this 1984 live version - is a perfect song to me. perfect. i also like a lot of the stuff that went into inspiring this album (notably flannery o'connor) and well. where it fits into springsteen's narritivization of his own life (dude was in the dumps).

all killer, no filler (2001) - sum41. this pick is a little bit representative of the era of my life where i basically exclusively listened to pop punk but if songs of love and hate is an album that's perfectly drawn out, this is an album that's perfectly compressed. like, the title is correct. this album is fucking TIGHT. i used to listen to it at a job i hated to make the 30-min intervals go by. and it's got such classics...."fat lip"..."motivation..." of course, "in too deep." SO good.

what did you expect from the vaccines? (2011) - the vaccines. maybe this pick is a tiny bit cheesy but it is a perfect encapsulation of the era of alt rock it came from. which i love. i really like the vaccines, i think they're super fun and i did see them in concert finally and they totally lived up to that. "wetsuit" is again...one of my favorite songs of all time. "if you wanna" is a perpetual banger.

age of consent (1983) - new order. again, an album that deserves to be listened to whole, despite how good "age of consent" hits alone ever single time. sometimes i think i like another new order album more than this, but i don't. sumner's voice just out-of-tune ringing out over that sound, that new order sound, the bass, that post-punk club vibe. they're a band that don't sound like anyone else, and this is the album most indicative of that. wow, every time.

a few narrow misses

boxer (2007) - the national. i didn't get the national until one day i did. "slow show." my god. hello.

very (1993) - pet shop boys. it's too simple to say this is an album about gay love because it's so embedded in it's context but. this is an album with so much love. psb are brilliant.

the execution of all things (2002) - rilo kiley. jenny lewis CALL ME. also like. you know "a better son/daughter". there's more.

a thousand suns (2010) - linkin park. i used to listen to this at 6th grade cross-country practice. first band i ever got into on my own. idk.

this is not only my favorite albums but a pretty decent summation of the broad strokes my overall taste. thank you again for the tag!! i enjoyed doing this a lot :). idk who has done this/on what blogs so if u have PLEASEEEEE send it to me i want to see!! i tag @lfcrobbo @upthebrackets @girlfriendline @odegoob @amandaleveille @thelittlebirdthatkeptsomanywarm @kritischetheologie @bright-and-burning @a-corn-field if any of u want to but no presh!!!

[astrangetorpedo]

Phoebe Bridgers. Julien Baker. Lucy Dacus. What happens when three of the most talented solo singer-songwriters of a generation get together? You get something disarmingly funny, haunting, queer, something sui generis. Plus the best love song playlist ever. Meet The Band— a.k.a. boygenius.

From left: CHOPOVA LOWENA fringe denim jacket. PAOLINA RUSSO bodice mini dress and knit top. CHOPOVA LOWENA zip cardigan and fuzzy skirt; FALKE tights.

Nicolaia Rips: How are you guys? You’re all individually at home hanging?

Lucy Dacus: Phoebe and I both just got back from, what, five weeks of being away or more. I’m jet-lagged. I was sleepy at 7 p.m. and I had a friend come over and kind of push me until 10 p.m. so I wouldn’t fall asleep while the sun was out.

Nicolaia Rips: How’s tour?

Lucy Dacus: The tour, like, all of it has been awesome. Our next show is Boston. Right? Or is it New Haven? I don’t know. (Julien pops into the zoom, just the tip of her baseball hat as she slowly emerges into frame.)

Julien Baker: My phone died and then I just...Hi, I’m here now.

Nicolaia Rips: If boygenius was a family who’s the middle child, who’s the eldest?

Phoebe Bridgers: Am I the youngest?

LD: No!

JB: No. You’re not youngest! I’m youngest.

LD: Julien’s youngest.

PB: You also are literally the youngest.

LD: Is it boring to say that it’s just how the ages are? Me and Phoebe are both older sisters to younger brothers and Julian is an only child. I think you’re big sis Phoebe. Big brother. Big sis was weird.

PB: My brother calls me sis to give me the ick. He’s like, I love how they do it on TV. They’re always like, “what’s up, sis?” Who the fuck calls their sister that?

NR: The film [directed by Kristen Stewart]. The record. Can you talk about the finality of “The.” What other “The” would you want to do in the future?

LD: The amusement park, uh, the strip club...

JB: The musical!

PB: It’s cool because we wouldn’t do that in our solo work. I think it just highlights the specialness of the time. Like we’re setting out to make the boygenius things right now.

LD: It’s also acknowledging a bit of hype, which is fun because we’re members of the boygenius fandom ourselves. So, people asking for the record, we’re able to give them the record.

NR: What makes something a boygenius song versus a solo?

LD: At least for me, context changes what I write about, and how I write. So, we just decided to be each other’s context for a couple years. It’s not some big secret, we chose to do this, to devote space and time.

NR: Your music feels so vulnerable yet there’s always this play. How do you feel your senses of humor factor into your work?

PB: It’s silly. We kind of enable each other. I feel like there have been several times where I’m like, am I allowed to write this? And the boys were like, yeah, obviously.

NR: What’s on the essential boygenius book list? The Book Club?

LD: Myth of Sisyphus.

PB: Stop!

LD: What are books that we’ve all read? Like Carmen Maria Machado, both of her books. The Sympathizer, we all loved. Letters to a Young Poet.

JB: I’ve heard y’all reference a lot and it’s nice to feel like ideas, instead of slipping into like a landfill or whatever, get recycled to me. I don’t know, I just like hearing y’all talk about books that I haven’t read too.

PB: That’s my main experience. I’m always the one that did not read the thing. I read way more because of this band which is so tight.

JB: I feel like you’re always reading essays on some lane of art and I’m just like, dang, all I read was a graphic novel and Sartre again.

LD: Sartre again. Y’all have podcasts. I’m completely out for the podcast conversation.

JB: Phoebe got me into podcasts. I used to just be like, it’s not radio, I don’t understand it. All the podcasts I listen to are just things [Phoebe] told me to listen to —99 PI, Hidden Brain.

PB: I do not have the strength to have thoughts when I’m doing things.

NR: I was listening to My Favorite Murder a while ago and was like, wait a second. Is that Phoebe Bridgers??

PB: I felt so nervous. I think that’s the last time I had actual stage fright.

LD: Is that the one where you say, “yeah, me and my friend Lucy kissed” and then everyone freaked out?

PB: Now, no one could possibly get freaked out by us kissing. It’s just part of it. “I went to a Boygenius show and Julien and Phoebe or Lucy and Phoebe kissed.”

JB: There’s a picture of me and Lucy and my mom asked if it was the guitarist from Muna because I think she saw one picture of me and Joe [Maskin] kissing and thinks we’re dating. Mom, you’re on Twitter? Like she’s following me? I felt love.

From left: S.S. Daley monogram tailored jacket. JEAN PAUL GAULTIER vintage top courtesy of Haut Archive. SIMONE ROCHA cotton stripe pointed collar shirt; JOHN LAWRENCE SULLIVAN wool stripe jacket.

NR: Who are your favorite unsung girl geniuses of history?

LD: Nick Drake’s mom, Molly Drake. She is an incredible poet and songwriter and pianist. They re-released a collection of her works recently. You can hear how Nick Drake was obviously inspired by her as her kid.

PB: Emily Bronte’s brother.

LD: We went to the Bronte mansion. Mansion. I just mixed up the Biltmore Mansion and the Bronte house because we also...

PB: We love to go to old places that people lived in.

LD: It’s like we’re trying to get haunted. We all showed up upset to the Bronte Museum and then in the first room they were like, “here’s the couch where Emily Bronte died of tuberculosis at age 30.” Now

whenever we’re all upset and it’s hard to get out of, we call it Brontitis. Emily and Anne had a brother named Branwell. Branwell Bronte who was a great artist. But he was underappreciated and wished he could be more like his sisters. (Phoebe has been roaming her house for the entire interview, white blonde hair streaming behind her, angles the camera down at a pug sitting alone on a large baroque couch.)

PB: Maxine Bridgers.

LD: I think Maxine’s pretty sung. She’s not unsung at all.

JB: Maxine’s sung.

NR: What were you about to say?

JB: Hilma af Klint. But obviously things come in tides of awareness. Something that’s unsung to me doesn’t necessarily mean it’s unsung in fine visual art.

PB: She was unsung in her life.

JB: But that was a choice, right? She was like, don’t publish anything or show my work until fifty years after my death.

PB: So sick.

NR: Going back to this haunting thing. Have you ever been haunted?

LD: We’ve been talking about this. Unclear.

JB: I was haunted! I was haunted!

LD: Julien was haunted.

JB: I was haunted. It was...demon. I don’t think it was a ghost.

LD: I have witnessed haunting but personally, I’m a clean vessel.

JB: What the fuck. This [interview] is so...

PB: My dating life in my early fucking twenties for sure was haunted.

LD: Are we just calling abuse haunting now? Ok. Well, I was haunted when I was in my early twenties too. (They all laugh.)

PB: Born haunted, dude,

JB: Born haunted just took me by surprise.

LD: That’s generational trauma babe.

JB: I had an apartment with bad vibes.

LD: Julien had an apartment where someone was murdered and rolled up in a carpet and put in a closet.

PB: Wait, was that the apartment that I was in? Yo? OK. UM. (Immediate chattering over each other.)

LD: How have we not talked about this? Julien recently said that she was told [about the murder] upon moving in and was like, bet, I’ll just be here.

PB: That does not surprise me.

LD: And then all that shit went down and you didn’t move. I can’t believe it.

JB: Let me tell you how metaphorical this shit was. Basically, they [realtors] just painted some stuff a hip color of green and put a pool in and doubled the rent. And I was like, okay, I’ll mime being an adult and pay way too much money for this apartment in the right part of town, to be the right kind of person, with all my cool East Nashville friends or whatever. And it was just full of murder and history. I did not have a good time there and I was all alone. That place had bad vibes. Top to bottom.

LD: Bad vibes is the most, like, inane way you could say what was happening in that apartment.

From left: CHOPOVA LOWENA dress. RAVE REVIEW fleece jacket; stylist's own BURBERRY vintage pants. SIMONE ROCHA nylon single breasted car coat; GUCCI shirt.

JB: Before I’d only ever lived in houses like on a yoga mat or with five other people who were in six different bands. Moving there and being like, nice a dishwasher, and it was this spot where somebody had been like, “I think there’s a murder” and the cops came and were like, no murder here. But there was! He was just rolled up in a carpet, and then the cops came back because of the smell and then they were like, oh, there was a murder. Anyway, that’s where I lived.

LD: You got way more info than you bargained for with that question.

NR: I don’t know how to transition here, wow. Do you feel like you’re optimists or pessimists?

LD: I’m an optimist.

NR: Didn’t sound very convincing.

LD: I’m the devil’s advocate for the best-case scenario. I don’t think it’s gonna be like that, but I might as well petition for it.

JB: I would like to say I am a present tense pessimist and a future optimist. I’m like, let’s not make light of how much it sucks right now. It does not help the situation to say, “it could always be worse” or to say, “it’s not that bad.” I’m an optimist when I’m with you guys. Like, this is a pretty sick day we’re living,

LD: Our whole Europe tour was awesome. And then we all had one terrible day.

PB: That is so true. I was like, this day isn’t hell, this is actually my usual self on tour. We had one day like that in our whole time together this year. (Phoebe cleans the crust out of her dog’s nose.)

NR: Are you cleaning your dog’s nose?

PB: She’s been with her grandma and her nose fold is so full of crust. I can’t believe it.

LD: I love her. I want her to come sneeze on me.

(Now Julien shows her dog who’s “camera shy.” Lucy sings, “I love you” to both dogs.)

NR: What’s your ultimate love song?

LD: I have a lot of answers. I Went To The Store One Day by Father John Misty. I think that’s a great song. There’s a compilation of love songs of Nina Simone. A lot of perfect love songs on that.

PB: For You by Laura Marling is a great song.

JB: I’m trying to think of an answer that isn’t Options by Pedro the Lion.

PB: That’s not a love song, dude.

LD: We’re not accepting that answer anymore.

JB: That’s 100% a love song.

LD: Don’t say that. I have a playlist called “Perfect Love Song”. Who Knows Where The Time Goes by Nina Simone. I Need Your Love So Bad by Irma Thomas. Dance Song by Dijon. P.S. I Love You by Billie Holiday. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis. Bless the Telephone, Serpentwithfeet does a great cover.

From top: S.S. DALEY monogram tailored jacket and pleated skirt. JEAN PAUL GAULTIER vintage top courtesy of Haut Archive. SIMONE ROCHA cotton stripe pointed collar shirt; JOHN LAWRENCE SULLIVAN wool stripe jacket.

NR: Are you specific with playlist names?

LD: No, I’ll make the playlist name and then I’ll wait for the songs.

PB: I agree and then I’m curating forever.

LD: Never finished, always growing. It’s more of a catalog or an archive than a playlist that I would send to somebody. It’s a research tool.

JB: I have a playlist called “Queerly Specific” that’s all about coming out from a place of being in love. All songs about that. Casimir Pulaski Day by Sufjan Stevens. The one where he kisses his friend.

PB: My mom banned it from the house. She was like do not play the cancer song ever again.

LD: Reservations by Wilco. Modern Romance by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

JB: Hast Thou Considered the Tetrapod by The Mountain Goats. Do you know that tune?

PB: No.

JB: Oh, ok. It’s a good one. They have a lot of good love songs because they’re like little vignettes of like living with a person and all the little intricate weirdo shit they do, which is what I ultimately think comprises a lot of love. Just checking out somebody’s weirdo shit.

(As we sign off, Phoebe nods, “Bye, Boys.”)

Makeup Tabitha Thomas / Hair Linnéa Nordberg / Set Design Julia Dias / Casting Greg Krelenstein / Production CEBE Studi

11/3/23

(x)(x)(x)

[lonelyroommp3]

what would be on your enjoltaire 8tracks playlist if you made it today

you know what i didn't realise how effective my recovery from e/r had been until i sat down to make this and actually ended up having to crack open my beloved 2014 iPod That Still Has Flappy Bird On It And All in order to make a decent length playlist bc i just do not listen to enjoltaire songs anymore apparently. all this to say this has about 5 songs that, per your actual prompt, would be on my enjoltaire 8tracks playlist if i made it today and then 15 others that are direct dispatches from the mind of teenage alix. do NOT listen to this for sonic cohesion because trust me you will not be getting any

anyway i set myself one (1) rule for this which was i am not allowed to use any song that i have seen on an enjoltaire fanmix before. this made the entire project even more challenging

and if you're curious to know what the fuck i was thinking here, director's commentary below the cut:

secret diary - autoheart rip enjolras you would have loved listening to this song when you were really pissed off with grantaire

too sweet - hozier loath as i am to include a song that has become this grossly overplayed via tiktok, the very first time i heard this song i thought my god if hozier had released this song 10 years earlier it would have had the enjoltaire 8tracks girlies in a CHOKEHOLD. i can't not include it

i'll come running - brian eno i might be breaking my own rules here because a rando song being on my old ipod from an artist i otherwise barely listen to probably suggests i stole it off an 8tracks fanmix. but whatever it's an enjoltaire fanmix, it's a good song, did anyone else clock it in the background of baby reindeer (i have not finished that show and i am not going to, but anyway, great song)

satanist - boygenius "solomon had a point when he wrote ecclesiastes/if nothing can be known then stupidity is holy" could literally be a line from one of grantaire's drunken rants. welcome back victor hugo

the bird and the worm - owl city this is a teenage alix enjoltaire playlist classic. i won't apologise

stephen - kesha i firmly believe every e/r playlist requires at least one song that doesn't really fit in the details of the lyrics but the vibes are so grantaireish it's got to make it in. do you guys think the ugly girlfriend sneering across the room was epo-*i am shot*

gold rush - taylor swift IT'S THE ONLY TAYLOR SWIFT SONG ON HERE I PROMISE. HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING. HEY STOP WALKING AWAY AND TELL ME "AT DINNER PARTIES I CALL YOU OUT ON YOUR CONTRARIAN SHIT" ISN'T AN ENJOLTAIRE LYRIC. COME ONNNN

for you and your denial - yellowcard about here is where i just gave up and cracked open the old ipod. i also wanted a clear vibe shift in this playlist and right about here is where i think we move from "mostly lighthearted pining and jabbing at each other's conflicting beliefs" to the "enjolras and grantaire biting each other's heads off" part of the fanmix. anyway i literally bought this entire album in hmv in like 2012 because i stumbled upon this one song on youtube and thought nah mate. this is e/r

make me wanna die - the pretty reckless i honestly have very little to say on this one. just more pissed off vibes

call me when you're sober - evanescence the simple fact of the matter is evanescence defined my teenage years and this will always and forever be an enjoltaire song

for a pessimist, i'm pretty optimistic - paramore i have really vivid memories of being on holiday with my parents in like 2013/14, stuck in rush hour traffic out of rouen, this album blasting in my ears, thinking this song is exactly what enjolras is thinking when grantaire goofs up at the barrière du maine

one big beautiful sound - johnny manchild and the poor bastards it is my near religious belief that every enjoltaire fanmix should have at least one song that sounds like this because i think this is precisely the kind of music that grantaire would actually listen to. actually tbh i think he is also into really really filthy drum and bass but i'm trying to keep this playlist at least slightly sensible

ever - emilie autumn this is such a perfect e/r song that it even talks about painting somebody's portrait. straight out of the fanon playbook, thanks emilie

misty - laufey right around here, or really starting with "ever", we hit the third phase of this playlist, which is "songs to be passed out and suicidal to while all your mates are getting violently killed around you". please note the hand holding foreshadowing. don't ever say i half arse these things

i'm your man - mitski genuinely this one speaks for itself i think. jaw dropped when i heard this one for the first time.

what if - emilie autumn here's where we kind of transition into the fourth portion of the playlist, which is "grantaire wakes the fuck up and goes hey wait no, i think i am going to die for & with this man actually". getting a bit more optimistic and determined but we're still in that wistful acoustic ballad space we've slipped into previously

twin flames - epica this is not from design your universe, epica's previous album, but i just wanted to use this space to say that i would regularly sit on the bus home from school imagining a whole elaborate barricades themed visual album set to design your universe. this bonus track from their next offering was just the icing on the cake. any song with a lyric like "you're all i need/my one belief" was like CRACK to teenage alix i s2g

save yourself, i'll hold them back - my chemical romance 15 year old alix would have figured out time travel to come and kill 27 year old alix in my sleep if i hadn't put a single mcr song on here

bows and arrows - kaiser chiefs i was OBSESSED with this album in 2014 and completely forgot its existence until i resurrected the old ipod. and it's REALLY good. especially this song, which i decided to check the lyrics for on genius bc i vaguely remembered it being an e/r song to me but i also haven't listened to it in like 10 years, and these quotes from ricky wilson absolutely flabbergasted me: "I liked the idea that bows and arrows are pretty useless on their own but when you get them together, they can be quite formidable... What’s wrong with a load of blokes admitting they need each other?"

i, carrion (icarian) - hozier listen, half of the reason i'm including this song is a bit of a joke at the fact that due to my self imposed rules i can't put icarus by bastille on here, but i do kind of like it as a frozen in time slo mo as the bullets hit kind of finale to this whole thing :)

[dazealigner]

hi babe!! just found ur acc and im literally obsessed w ur stuff ☺️ okok so i have some more ideas abt the munagenius and artist!reader/gf so like on top of them being all on stage AND bringing you on imagine if artist!gf one of their songs as well!! like i can imagine being the plan or a complete surprise for munagenius and they’re all just in awe of reader and all of them are just supa cutesy :(((

hiii sweetie!! first off, thank you so so SO MUCH ☹️💘 it makes me very happy that my munagenius thought overloads are appreciated on here <333 and disclaimer, i MIGHT’VE misinterpreted this idea but i think you were saying what if artist!bff brought munagenius on stage for one of their songs? i really hope that’s what you meant and i’m so sorry if it’s not but i do have a couple of ideas based off of this!!!

for this particular thought, i wanna say that artist!bff is an opener for boygenius alongside muna. their setlist consists of mostly the fan-favorites but also some of munagenius’ and their own favorites out of their discography. but let’s say that there’s a special occasion, maybe it’s somebody’s birthday and artist!bff has a song dedicated to them on a past album.

i’m gonna be self-indulgent and say that it’s julien’s birthday, and artist!bff wrote Leaning On You (which is a song made by HAIM that i 100% recommend looking up the lyrics and listening to it for this) and dedicated it to julien but had muna feature on it. for julien’s birthday, artist!bff decides to add Leaning On You to the setlist that day to celebrate the special yearly occasion. artist!bff obviously plans this ahead of time and lets all of munagenius in on their plan except for julien.

well artist!bff’s time to open comes rolling around, and all of munagenius is watching them from the side-stage. then, muna, phoebe, and lucy hear what would usually be their closing song, but today, that was their cue to join them.

so muna, phoebe, and lucy are all sprinting to the stage and the crowd is going absolutely feral and meanwhile julien’s like ????? but nonetheless she follows them. she’s probably tapping lucy’s shoulder persistently like 🫵🫵🫵 “lucy?! where the fuck are we going???” and lucy’s just like 😇😇. and then julien hears the song’s tune and her head perks up, her eyes are glimmering, and her heart starts beating two times faster because it’s her song. every word in that song you wrote just for her. and for her favorite people to sing it right in front of her for the first time on her birthday was the best gift she could’ve asked for.

i also have a proposal: maybe artist!bff was also background vocals on graceland too? so later when artist!bff comes out to sing graceland too during boygenius’ set, it’s a lot more intimate, and at that point julien’s definitely emotional. i imagine she’s able to hide it once they’re all huddled and hugging afterwards and she has her face shoved in artist!bff’s neck.

julien heard the two songs made for her on her day ☹️

i actually got so sappy brainstorming about this. i adore this idea so much 💘☹️☹️ THANK YOU SO MUCH i hope this is what you meant and if it wasn’t feel free to let me know !!!!