#listen. in the context of the fic it makes sense. kinda.

[adhd-merlin]

ao3 author: so they have to take part in this ancient pagan ritual. merlin is wearing bottoms made of fur and a pair of ram's horns. arthur chases him as he runs away and tackles him to the groun—

me: horns?

ao3 author: part of the ritual

me: of course

ao3 author: he tackles him to the ground. they are both drugged out of their minds, btw

me: yeah, go on

[pushingdaisies1]

hihi I am not sure how to submit a request because I have never really done one before but isit possible if u could do a myunggi x female reader fic😓😓🙏🙏 I haven't really seen much ffs about him and I really want to see his protective side being portrayed🙌

➜ ౨ৎ Paz Con Usted.

― ꒰ PAIRING: Lee Myung-gi x Reader! ꒱ ― ꒰SUMMARY: Your last relationship wasn't left on the best of terms. It was a small little fling, only lasting for five months. But the way he left was sudden and abrupt. He told you flat out that he wanted to end things, and that was that. Didn't give you any time to ask why, was it your fault? He had mentioned once or twice about his ex-girlfriend. But after making up this grand charade to your face you didn't expect to be the rebound. But in hindsight... you were. Now you are here, being told that you have an opportunity to abolish your debts. A hefty prize, an amount of money you've never seen in your entire life. This was the worst time to run into your jaded ex-boyfriend. But maybe he still had some room in his heart left for you. You weren't so gullible, fool me twice and whatnot. But him swooping in to stand up for you definitely made you feel those same old butterflies rise in your gut.꒱ ― ꒰WARNINGS: Honestly the biggest one I can think of is you and Myung-gi being messy. Like within the context of your prior relationship.. if that makes sense... yk? Start is kinda angsty!! Woops!! There's no violence (excluding regular squid game violence mentioned) but Thanos is Thanos!! No Jun-hee slander here folks. Mentions of Abortion (Jun-hee.) Consequences of Myung-gis actions with a somewhat happy ending!! yay!!! Like you two don't like reforge a whole relationship but no bad blood by the end of this..... wooo!!! Use of She/her pronouns once for reader. Also this is a tad bit long n may have spelling mistakes , woopsie...꒱ ― ꒰AUTHORS NOTE: Ohh no dw!! Yes ofc , here you go!! I really do hope you liked this!! I tried to stay as in character for Myung-gi as possible. He's very much a 50/50 character amongst fans. His actor's so funny and I honestly like his character. Like you envy him but you cant help but feel sympathy for him in moments. Crypto bro who I wanna dissect/look at under a microscope!! Also like... look at him... he's a cutiepatootie. He has his moments but like bro Jun-hee defender forever lmao. Also, I got this title from a beautiful song. It's by the band Ataquemos!! It's just so sweet and a generally warm song. I think it fits Myung-gis's motivations at heart. I tried to deliver on this as hard as I could, enjoy!!<3꒱

☓﹕You never thought you would see Myung-gi again. After your breakup, it all seemed a done deal. He hadn't truly explained his reasonings to you. About... splitting ties with you. I mean it was utterly absurd? Throughout your entire relationship, you always tried to do and be better than before. ☓﹕Always listening to his woes even if they were a little bit baffling for your tastes. What was his problem? You could tell he wasn't being entirely honest with you about everything. His past relationships, his history. But that was his business and not yours. But your breakup definitely surprised you out of left field.

☓﹕He wasn't answering your calls for a good week leading up to it. You were worried sick about him. Thinking that something terrible must've happened. You were so naive to his true intentions. When he finally answered your multiple texts and missed calls, he only followed with, "I'm sorry but I can't do this anymore. I loved you I really did. But I'm not in a well enough place to continue with this relationship. I hope you can understand. I'm breaking up with you and blocking this number. I'm sorry." ☓﹕The familiar sensation of your chest winding tight took over your entire body. Your hands began to tremble as you held your phone. No tears at the sight. But you were practically blown away. Ghosts you for a week and then break up with you over TEXT?! ☓﹕This was jarring beyond the humiliation and general grief you felt swelling inside of you. Did you mean that little to him? What was his fucking deal? He'd even met with your parents on a couple occasions. You at least thought you were serious enough for him to at least break up with you face to face.

☓﹕You didn't even bat an eye about the fact that he was a crypto-bro! Or, that he never truly got over his last relationship. I mean you at least never thought he did. Throughout your past committed relationships, you valued the honesty in partners about what their dating life had been like before meeting you. ☓﹕ It felt like their openness was full transparency, you know? Even if the relationships they had before meeting you were full-blown train wrecks. But Myung-gi was a whole different story from other previous partners. It was odd but again you never tried to pry at him. Were you truly in love or just blind with infatuation?

☓﹕It had been a month since he had cut you off from his life. It had been a month full of bitter spite and just... sorrow. The amount of loans you had taken out definitely started to pile up. You had teetered on the line too many times at work. Eventually losing your position after you accidentally blew up at a coworker. It didn't take you long for your debt to increase even more after that. ☓﹕With how bad the job market was you stayed unemployed for too long according to the bank. Job interviews weren't pulling through. You were practically drowning in unpaid loans and growing unpaid rent bills. Never were you a person to take handouts from friends or family. You were too stubborn for your own good. It was so isolating as your landlord continued to threaten to kick you out if you didn't have all that money in a week. If he was nice enough, he'd outstretch it to two.

☓﹕It was one humid evening when you were waiting for a train. That a man approached you. He looks clean-cut, a businessman-looking briefcase held in one hand. His faint eery smile didn't falter at all as he slid down right next to you. You had spent the afternoon visiting friends for once and running errands with what little you had. One headphone is looped and tucked around the left ear. Of course, you noticed him. He stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the middle-men office workers office workers, or the families trying to get home and escape from the summer heat.

☓﹕You kept your eyes straight ahead. "Pleasedon'ttrytoconvertme..." you repeated over and over again in your head. All you wanted to do was just rinse and repeat the same routine you had accumulated. The same pathetic routine you lived with ever since Myung-gi broke things off with you. But you were totally moved on now! It's been a month... that's a lot of time... right? ☓﹕ The sharply dressed man beside you broke your train of thought. Addressing you very formally, he offered you the opportunity to play a game. What game? , ddakji - for a cash prize every time you flipped his card to the opposite side. By the time you finally gave him an ounce of acknowledgment, most people had already gotten on their designated train. The station was empty and you still had awhile so why not? ☓﹕Shockingly you had won a majority of the rounds. Your arms shot up as soon as you saw his card flip over. He may have gotten one or two slaps in after you flat-out told him you had no more money on you to pay for your losses. "That's okay, you'll pay with your body.", excuse me? ☓﹕By the time he handed you the money he now owed you, he quickly started to latch up his briefcase. Trying to bring levity to the situation, he stopped you before you could get any other words in. From his pocket, he slipped out a card. A circle, triangle, and square on the front of it. Flipping it over it looked to be a phone number. Examining it with keen eyes you heard him mutter "Have a great rest of your evening." under his breath. Before you could thank him or do such a thing he was already gone. ☓﹕Vanished right before your eyes. Your head spun around, eyes landing on the now arriving train. Time to think about this and more once you finish your trek home.

☓﹕If it was only a little game, how hard could it be? You needed the help desperately. No matter how pathetic it was you called the number. Giving the unknown voice on the other end your name and birthday. Quickly and precisely they explained where and when you would be picked up. ☓﹕Seemed easy enough from your point of view. The place they referred you to was one of the largest shopping centers in Seoul. The time was way after the park's hours. It was odd but guaranteed a spacious and empty environment for the pickup to happen. As you listened you couldn't help but feel a low twisting in your gut. This felt wrong, not right at all. You were too far gone now. So you agreed to the terms and hung up the phone.

☓﹕The day finally arrived. You tried to get your assets in order. Told ones closest to you that you'd be busy due to a "new job offer." It was shocking how they all bought the lie. You just wanted to make a quick buck to lessen your debt, that's all. Your eyes flicked down to your phone as you clicked it on. The breeze rustled your hair. The home screen of your phone reads that it is finally midnight. You had gotten there earlier than told on the phone. ☓﹕Just to shake the impending nerves away. It felt like a bust because right on schedule, a van arrived. A masked man rolled down the window and stated your name. Your eyes widened as that pit feeling got deeper and deeper. The door of the van slid open and you slid inside the vehicle. Getting a feel for the van you right saw the slumped-down bodies beside you. Your throat tightened as you tried to find answers to your questions. Before you knew it heavy gas started to fill the backseat. The car whirred to life as you slowly collapsed, finally unconscious.

☓﹕By the time you awoke, you were met with the sounds of classical music and a bed. The metal squeaked gently as you sat up in the bunk bed where you lay. People who were dressed in similar attire as you, with numbers on their chests and backs littered the beds around you. Some were already starting to climb down and stand around on the main floor of the dormitory. Standing back, you were puzzled by where you now were. You were practically whisked away from your life on the outside. This wasn't disclosed in the phone call.

☓﹕Murmurs could be heard in the wide crowd of participants forming in the middle of the room. Others were scared of what this might entail, while some were dumbfounded by the swift change in scenery. The same masked men with different variations of their masks walked out, one outwardly greeting the bewildered players. Immediately as soon as they started taking questions, people kept on giving and giving. By now you had joined the crowd, standing more by the back wall of beds.

☓﹕All of a sudden your ears get all warm and irritated as soon as you hear a specific voice. The same voice of the guy who ripped your heart out and left it beating on the cold floor. Asking for his phone and wallet for market checking of all things? You were staring directly at the back of his head as he whined in annoyance. If it was anyone else, you would've been remorseful. These "guards", had stripped everyone of their personal belongings and usual clothes. But hearing that prick made your head get all hot and all rationality gets just as fuzzy.

☓﹕On the screen they displayed multiple of the players. Their individual names, and the debt amount they had to their name. Myung-gi's face flashed on screen with his hair mostly hidden with a bucket hat. Playing the same game you had when the recruiter found you in that subway. His face getting slapped, holding his cheek. You especially heard ringing in his ears when you heard he had CHARGES against him?

☓﹕During the time you had spent with him, he never once brought that up. Nor the crypto coin scam he ran on multiple people. Other player's faces followed after his. One person's debt reaching into the billions. But your head was spinning at the fact that maybe you didn't know your ex-boyfriend that well. You weren't judgemental of the fact that he dealt with cryptocurrency. Which was probably your biggest mistake. The rose-colored glasses were even more damaged now. Who really had you been dating for those five months?

☓﹕After the square guards' passionate but monotone speech, consent forms were immediately dished out. Four guards stood at each individual post. Handing participants pens to sign the contracts, the rules all in bold. Your number was somewhere in the middle of the large range of game participants. So let's just say you stood around in that line for a while. You didn't really take the time to strike up a conversation with anyone.

☓﹕An older woman, the same one who was arguing with her son earlier was behind you. She was kind enough to take the initiative. She seemed like a nurturing sweetheart. Her words were kind to you as she asked you why you were here and other small talk. It was the most sympathy you had heard from someone in a while. Finding the time to crack a grin of three as she commented "You look like a respectful kid." It was the most conversation you had... since you had gotten here.

☓﹕You two both discussed how this may work. The entire you mostly listened as she talked about how this all seemed "too bizarre for her tastes." You chuckled, cluelessly shrugging with a "We'll find out soon enough." Her son the entire time was trying to get his mom's attention. But she was determined to keep on talking to you. Until it was your turn to sign your signature. ☓﹕Glancing over the rules your head cocked to the side a little. Already here, it felt useless to back out. Leaving with nothing is worse than leaving with something. Readjusting your hold on the pen you quickly signed the contract. Gently placing the pen back down where it sat before, your mind now clear, you started to walk out and away from the four single-file lines. ☓﹕Until you heard a scuffle at the other side of the room. Chu Su-bong and another player were towering over another player. You don't realize who the victim was until you hear the purple-haired one rather loudly announce the name "MG Coin." You wanted to scoff at the cheesy name. Clearly, if those guys were picking a fight with Myung-gi they must've been the people who invested in the coin. ☓﹕You know what? , serves him right. Facing his comeuppance face-on and head-on. But you couldn't help but feel some odd form of pity as you watched Su-bong almost swing on "MG Coin." Thankfully the other player riled him down. The two walked off and the air in the room stayed as stale as it was before. Something inside of you was eager to approach Myung-gi. Before you could stop yourself your feet were already walking to where he was sitting.

☓﹕He looked so small and so pitiful. His head was in his hands as he rubbed his face. Your steps were precise as you walked towards him. Your arms were crossed as you looked him up and down. "Was I just some joke to you?" You sneered. As soon as he heard you his head shot up. Eyebrows creased and mouth agape. The last time he had spoken to you, he didn't expect you to be here of the sort at all.

☓﹕"What are you even doing here?" He whispered, trying to keep his volume to a low. Not to make another fool of himself again. "I should be asking what you're doing here? Oh wait, never mind, I know. Guess I was dating a criminal. I wasted a lot on you. Supporting you, listening to you, being an above-average decent human being for you? And you repay me by keeping me in the dark about something as big as this?" You snapped back at him. Not holding back any resentment that grew towards him during your mutual time apart.

☓﹕"It's not like that-" Your eyes went wide and your jaw fully dropped. "No, I think it is like that. You don't hide stuff like this from someone Myung-gi! What was I even to you? And by your actions.. clearly nothing." He couldn't stop the scoff escaping him, which just pissed you off even more. "Do you ever stop talking? Everything was always my fault when it came to you. But when I tried to explain myself you'd immediately patronize me." ☓﹕"Patrionize you?! You didn't tell me you were wanted by the authorities! For five months, I thought you were just struggling. That's why I helped you so much. That's why I practically let you live with me after a while-" The realization came to you. Was he just using you to hide from the cops? He put his hands up in between the two of you. "When I met you I was in a rock and an even harder place. I-I was trying to turn a new leaf... I had hurt so many people. But you took me in and I..." ☓﹕"And you what? Found an easy cash grab to live off of until you felt guilty enough in that bitter heart of yours?" Your words pierced every muscle in his body. "I loved you, you piece of shit. I loved you a lot. You met my parents! You saw the best of me. You are acting like our time together was nothing. I for sure thought it was something and guess you didn't feel the same." A sigh left you as you got everything out. Everything that started to slowly form after you got that text.

☓﹕"... Are you only here to scream at me? Right now, here? Gotten it out of your system?" His words were like an even deeper twist of the knife. He clearly could see on your face that his response was the incorrect thing to say. He tried to stammer out an apology but you were already backing away. "I'm here to revel in your misery. I've seen enough... good luck." ☓﹕Turning around you noticed a specific player in the sea of people looking at you. She was sitting by one of the bunks. A hand gently cradled her stomach. Her eyes looked glazed over with unshed tears. Her stare was icy and almost demeaning as you looked back at her. They told a story that you didn't quite understand, at least not now. Shrugging it off you went to go find a place to cool down before the first game.

☓﹕It was comical hearing what the first game was. A children's game you used to play with your classmates when you were young. Shouldn't be that off-putting on the outside. Definitely was more with the larger-than-life doll staring all four hundred and fifty-six players down from the finish line. An older man, the 456th player, immediately ran up before the games even started. Yelling that this wasn't just any ordinary game. That lives were at stake and the doll had motion sensor eyes?

☓﹕You definitely started to believe him along with many others once the first player died. One by one gunshots rang out. Bodies were either piled up at the entrances or littered across the sandy ground. People immediately changed their tune and began to run in a lot more of an ordered fashion. Because the doll would only pick up the first person's motions. In following the orders this stranger shouted you actually made it to the finish line. You shockingly made it out alive... only after the first game. ☓﹕After a good chunk of the players were left, everyone was escorted through that colorful maze of stairs back to the dormitory. People were practically cowering in fear and begging for mercy from the guards. The same stranger who had practically saved the lives of every remaining player urged for a vote to take place. Since it was in the forms and already promised, it had to be done. ☓﹕The bloodshed you saw was terrifying. People dropped like flies even if their hands were trembling. It was mortifying to see so up close. By the time your number was called you immediately felt a sense of determination. You weren't desperate enough to watch others lose their lives while participating in gruesome children's games. Nor did you want to die here and have no one you knew realize you died. You'd rather get your body stripped for parts.

☓﹕It wasn't shocking that Myung-gi went for the opposite side as you. You clearly barely knew the man, so anything made sense at this point. It was neck and neck, practically so close to having your side win. But one person broke that, and the opposing side ended up winning. Their cheers were met with broken hearts and people who had just lost a fraction of their hope. ☓﹕The air in the room was building with tension. As players were given food one by one by the circle guards, the entire time in line you could only think about one thing. The girl who was staring daggers into your soul. You didn't know if it truly was something to worry about. But hell you had a ton of time to kill. So you thought the best thing to do was to try and ask the million-dollar question.

☓﹕You slinked back to the side. Your eyes scan around the spacious area to look for her. You recognized the same head of the older woman you had conversed with. During the first game, you noticed that in a fleeting second, the two had conversed. It must've been something to do with that. Right away you started walking over. Her son giving you the perfect moment to approach player 222.

☓﹕She was eating her food, not noticing your steps. At least that's what it looked like. You gripped the water bottle in your hand. Clearing your throat, you two made eye contact. Her gaze was less hurtful. More hollow, as if she was yearning for something. But you had no idea what. Words were stuck in your throat, you were at a loss. ☓﹕"Can I help you...?" Her tone was cautious as she let her tin of food rest in her lap. Her arms were more closed, resting towards her side. You stammered out a "Here." Your hand offered up the water bottle. Her eyes looked at the hand, and then back to you. Almost as if she was waiting for you to finish your sentence.

☓﹕"I-I saw you earlier in the game ... I know it's impolite but it was all just me guessing I didn't mean to offend you-" You were surprised you weren't cartoonishly slipping on a banana peel here. Expecting her to cut you off, she still kept on staring back at you. "Thank you." She whispered as the palm of her hand opened. You immediately handed her the water bottle.

☓﹕The quiet was suffocating. Everyone's conversation and consumption drowned out your subconscious. "Are you Jun-hee?" You abruptly questioned her. She lost all the color in her face. Instead of responding to you verbally, she nodded her head as she stared down into her lap.

☓﹕You could easily connect the dots. Myung-gi had mentioned her by name once when you asked him about his previous partner. She was here, trying to win to make money for Myung-gis unborn child. You had lived five months blissfully unaware of this, of any of this. "Is that why you were watching me earlier?" You asked with a tremble of your lip. Repeating her prior action, she nodded her head. ☓﹕"Oh my god... I... I'm so sorry." Your words were a mess as your past relationship with this perfect guy broke apart. You had fit each other so perfectly. You didn't expect this behavior from him, how could you? Jun-hee was clearly holding in a lot. But she couldn't muster any anger. You clearly were clueless about his lies. By the way, your eyes went wide and your mouth parted, she couldn't stop herself from feeling pity for you. ☓﹕"When I told him, he originally wanted me to get rid of it. Said that we'd handle it." She spoke up as her tone of voice wavered. "I had already invested into that Dalmation coin and he was being hounded by the cops. By then I found out about its failure, he already left my life without another word. I decided that our child didn't have a father anymore and kept it. It's been six months."

☓﹕Anger burned in your chest. Jun-hee looked like a sweet girl. She was so beautiful, like a little button. You felt wronged and betrayed but also vengeful? She stopped you from thinking any harder. "I don't need him. So please do not feel bad for me. When he left he lost his chance. I tried too many times to be there for him, but he didn't try once for me. He's not a good guy."

☓﹕Your head lulled in recognition as you listened intently. "I-I seriously had no idea. He told me a whole other story." She simply shrugged at your response. "That sounds like Myung-gi." She remarked in a reserved way of speech. You couldn't help but crack a small laugh in defeat because it sure was him. ☓﹕You felt pure remorse running through your veins. You extended a vine of friendship to the poor girl. "I know we know each other for the worst of reasons. But... I hold only anger for that man. If you need anything or anyone, you have a friend in me Jun-hee." You lamented as your shoulders lost some of the tension they held before. ☓﹕She plastered a small but noticeable smile on her face. Either real or fake, you took it as a win either way. "I appreciate your kindness." She politely remarked as her head bowed at you, you did the same. "You are a good person. I hope we make it out together and can form a real friendship." That seemed to lighten her spirits. "I hope so as well." Her words were direct but her tone was soft and gentle. ☓﹕You were already bothering her enough. With a small wave of your hand to bid her farewell, you began to walk away. Opening up your tin of food you spent the next couple of hours picking at the once-enclosed meal. You were too stuck in the past. Every sweet moment you had with Myung-gi rotted and turned sour. The only things that gave you any ease at night were thinking back to your exchange with Jun-hee and the warm glow of all the prize money in the middle of the ceiling.

☓﹕The next morning came as a definite wake-up call. The same classical elegant tune blared over the speakers. You wished you could curl back into bed with the pillow muffling the repentant noise. But thanks to the system in place you were stuck here. People were quickly rising out of beds, no one really stopping to sit.

☓﹕Walking down to stand at your bed post you noticed two familiar figures conversing. Myung-gis bruised face and Jun-hees stern brow. You could remember the fight that broke out in the middle of the room, and the reason why he looked so beat up. The same purple-haired guy, Su-Bong beating down on him with the help of what looked to be his sort of right-hand man. Only until the same player who broke the vote count tie stepped in. Myung-gis and Jun-hees exchange didn't look pleasant but no time to focus on that. Guards were already walking in, ready to escort every current participant through the game hall.

☓﹕After making it through the long and winding staircases, you were brought into a large room. It almost resembled an elementary playground. With the bright colors and two rainbow roads, as well as the back walls resembling a sort of school structure. You were set to make teams of five with ten minutes on the clock. Nobody wasted any time in finding teammates. You were having a hard time locating one to join.

☓﹕Time was ticking down bit by bit. It felt more like five minutes to decide who to team with as you saw people right away strategizing. Your fingers danced at your sides as you cautiously walked around. You had gotten rejected from two groups. One because they were already full, with wishes of good luck as you walked away. The other one was because they were also full and you didn't have "the look." ☓﹕Suddenly you heard someone trying to get another person's attention. When you looked back you saw that someone was trying to get your attention. The same guy who was ready to beat Myung-gi to a pulp if he had the chance. The same guy who was pushing people over in the first game as if they were only dominos. He walked with pride as two men followed behind him, one of them the same person who was also beating up on Myung-gi. ☓﹕"Owww Senorita... you're too cute to be alone. Let's play this game together." He purred as he approached you. His arms were crossed and his chest was clearly puffed up. Player 124 clearly didn't look happy about this. Chewing at his inner cheek with an unpleased look on his face. Player 256 was clearly awe-struck with the guy, practically ready to kiss the ground he walked on. ☓﹕You would rather get gunned down than be stuck with this guy and his lackeys. It was a hefty gamble... that's why you never participated in the act. Besides he may get you killed in the next game, if not in this one. So you flashed on a polite but guarded expression. "Sorry but, I'm alright over here." Player 124 scoffed in relief as Su-Bongs head turned back, almost as if sending him a long and lengthy message only with a glare.

☓﹕"It's only you over here though. Come onnn... I'll protect you the whole game. You don't have to worry about anything when you are in the Thanos world. It's a pretty perfect deal." He smirked with confidence. On accident you let a sheepish laugh slip out. He took that as the initiative to push even harder on your buttons.

☓﹕"Whatever the game is I'll destroy anything that tries to tear us apart." He hummed with a boyishly sinister way of speech. You've denied him multiple times by now. Before another polite "no" could be added to that list, you looked up to notice Myung-gi. He was standing in between you and Thanos. His feet are firmly planted in the ground. The clock just now ticked past four minutes.

☓﹕"Ahhh MG Coin, I'm a little busy over here." Thanos snarked as he took a step back. Myung-gi huffed out a reply, "She said no man. So listen to that and go find two other people." By the way, Thanos's expression appeared; he thought this was humorful. "Are you looking to continue where we last left off, MG Coin? I think your purple and new red would look nice together." He replied with promise laced around every word. ☓﹕Myung-gi wasn't backing down and you were taken aback. His body guards Thanos from approaching close to you a step further. Why was he doing this? The clock on the wall took no pause for this. Clearly, this little confrontation was only wasting time. Thanos backed down but "took it to heart." He placed his hands on his chest in a quick heart rate motion. "You hurt my feelings MG Coin. Thanos never forgets." He emphasized his statement as he and the two other players walked away in the opposite direction.

☓﹕As as the three men leave out of sight he's already turning around to face you. "Are you okay?" His voice was signaturely dry but almost sweet. Outwardly trying to sound as apologetic as possible without saying it. You hadn't seen Myung-gi act like that in a while. It definitely made something in you stir. But you weren't going to say anything of that. He was met with a similar closed-off attitude he was met with by Jun-hee. This time with anger simmering beneath the surface. ☓﹕"Is that your way of apologizing?" You remarked with no remorse. "I-I do feel terrible about what I said. Please... I'll explain it to you after you join me." Your eyebrows creased, your expression reading like he had just dropped a bomb of news onto you. "You don't have a team and the people I partnered with - we need one more person... I'm begging you." His voice was finally filled with genuine emotion and emotion that wasn't him whining about problems he caused. ☓﹕"Fine." Your response was one note but that's all that he needed. He led you over to the group of older men. They were much more friendly faces than some of the participants you had to interact with. The game was finally introduced, more like the game and minigames were introduced. Right away, as soon as the monotone voice on the speakers was done explaining the ins and outs, you all started talking about what games would be your biggest strengths. ☓﹕Watching each team go up was like a game of chance. Either both teams would cross the finish line with triumph and hurrahs of joy and relief. One would have their moment in the spotlight of victory while the other would be mercilessly gunned down. Teams who didn't even make it past the second or third game would be shot without notice by the time the timer was done. You tried to stay as focused as you could, examining the surviving team's strategies for your group's potential success.

☓﹕By the time yours and Myung-gis's team went up, there was still a pretty size-able audience left of players. You kept your hands gripped into fists as a circle guard locked your ankles together. The previous rounds of gunfire from the guards still rang in your ears. But your top priority was to survive all five games and make it out of this one alive. You weren't going to die running around a rainbow road playing some small little minigames anytime soon, that was below you. The five of you felt that same momentum coursing through your veins , and then you were off.

☓﹕The sportsmanship that coursed through the crowd with previous teams was already heavy. But experiencing that yourself felt electrifying. Like the only time players who wanted to leave and those who wanted to stay felt truly equal. It was another asset that pushed you and your fellow teammates to finish every game with perfect precision. Your mind wasn’t focused on your potential demise when your turn arrived. The cheers made you focus on the task in front of you.

☓﹕It was with Myung-gis's final kick that your team made it. You made it with time to spare! Arms quickly locked together, each final step you and your teammates made was quick and firm. Everyone erupted with applause and cheers as your team jumped around with utter relief and joy. You had the freedom to walk out with your spirits still held, being led back to the dormitory by a couple of the guards. ☓﹕Making it back, there were only a few teams in there. You had recognized the same familiar face of the older woman. The same woman who was conversing with Jun-hee and one of the winning teams. Other groups of players were littered around in tight units. Only some looked back to the door to see who arrived back. ☓﹕ It was a lot more quieter now compared to before the second game began. This made sense since more five-player teams still had to compete and make it out alive. The door unlatched open and you were absorbed in the ambiance of whispers and emptiness. You gave gentle nods of recognition as your older teammates boasted about your combined success. You noticed how sullen Myung-gi was. ☓﹕Your stomach contorted as a deep sigh left you. "Hey." He heard you call out to him. You were walking directly behind him. He slowly spun around to face you. His eyes bore into the ground under the two of you. "I-I know I... I know I messed up. Especially with you and I am sorry." He looked up to face you. But you were trying to guide him away to a more secluded area of the multiple bunks. He followed you like a lost puppy. ☓﹕You sat down on the edge of a random bunk, the metal under you squeaking at the sudden pressure. He sat down right beside you, arms hanging low in his lap. You looked to him as to give him the room to speak, to "explain himself." You could hear how tight his chest was while he spoke. Bursts of air left his upper frame at every grating word that left his mouth. ☓﹕"When I met you... I was a mess." Your head lulled in a nod as a sign for him to continue. "I had hurt so many people, so many people I once held close to me. But you didn't know who I was. You looked at me like... no one else had. You were someone who still thought of me with some respect. I-I didn't want to ruin the image you had of me so I was a coward and hid that from you." A shaky chuckle left him. His words were so warm, they reminded you of the good times you two shared together. But you were past feeling pity for him, it was more so guilt now. Guilt for a relationship built on falsities that you participated in. ☓﹕Your head turned in his general direction. But your eyes didn't meet him. "Were you using me?", you bluntly asked. "No... I took the help you offered me. I was happy with you-" Your eyes began to water. "I know about Jun-hee." He almost looked surprised as the two of you locked eyes. "... I didn't know about it. I didn't know she kept it." A sheepish chuckle left you as you wiped away falling tears from your eyes. Dribbling down your cheeks, staining them with your constant reminder of turmoil. You didn't want to cry in front of him, but he noticed. ☓﹕"My life was falling apart. I had people out there who wanted to see me hang for what I had done. Which ... wasn't entirely my fault if you think about it. I met you and you closed up all my wounds. You didn't look at me with shame so many others did. I finally felt good about myself for once in a very long time. But then my feelings just grew too complicated. I didn't want to pop our little bubble.. so... I ran away." ☓﹕"You're an asshole." Your words had so much emotion in them. But he couldn't help himself. "I know I am. I regret the times I could have been better... for you." A long and lengthy pause for silence grew in between the two of you. You rubbed your eyes as you thought of whatever you could say next. You were too tired to argue with him. "Do you promise me that if you make it out of this alive, with her, you'll be a better man..?" It was a dumb question to ask of him. Could men like Myung-gi ever change?

☓﹕"Yes. One hundred times yes." He nodded his head adamantly. Your expression was bittersweet. Your head lulled in a nod one more time before you just sat there with him. He turned his head away from your direction. Staring down into the floor, the silence shared between the two of you was almost comforting. It was a familiar sort of ember that burned in the coldness that was your entire relationship. -> "I hate your guts." He smiled, hearing an emotion that wasn't resentment in your voice. "You have every right to."

― ꒰AUTHORS NOTE: Aghhh I know this one was really angsty I'm sorry!! Guys, I love angst can you tell? The idea seemed so somber like u 2 r so tragic it’s aghhhhhh. I really hope this was an enjoyable read. If you’re interested in sending me a request , check out my currently pinned post<3 Ly all , byeee!!! ( ^ . . ^ )

[dinotita]

So, I've been reading a lot of fanfics lately (mostly dramione) and, at some point in my life I discussed with my partner some things. I love the timelessness that Harry Potter shows, but I love when you watch it under the context of the muggle world (It was the 90's, and a lot was happening in the world) and I love when fics give glimpses of that, in a political or in a pop culture sense. (I really wish that they could use (at Hogwarts) some Technological items)

So here is my little illustration about a Hermione (my favorite character) being a just a girl for once and listening to no doubt and the spice girls on a walkman (how Hermione could make that work, who knows, but if someone exist that could make posible working technological items is her)

(Some dramione fics with this vibe are Détraquée - that I feel is kinda a love letter to Hermione- and Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Order to be in love (aka batmobile)(and we're Hermione does find a way to work out with technology)

And here is the cozy version

[magpod-confessions]

I know sexism in fandom is a thing, but I mostly encounter a lot of very vocal love and positivity for female tma characters (not to say that's the case in all forums ofc). Which is good, obviously.

Basira, Georgie and Melanie are important characters, but they all come along later and honestly throughout a lot of Canon kinda feel like an anti-jon wall. If you happen to be a fan who doesn't vibe with that sentiment, its less appealing to engage with a big portion of the female characters. It's not wrong or right to find yourself empathising more with Georgie or Martin etc etc, none of thecharacters are all good or bad so it's personal how a listener is gonna feel. But to me it sort of unfortunately feels like, since the (majority of significant) women are kind of aligned in one group, youre more likely to either into all of them or none of them. I hope that makes sense? Like I'm very much not coming after anyone.

Also some other thoughts on sexism: sasha has less time, less backstory, and is less developed than say Tim. So she has less content. Someone saying "if you do an ao3 search for fics that include sasha but not Tim, there isn't many, so sexism!" doesnt make much sense to me. The workplace is the only context we have for sasha, and Tim is her coworker and friend. A fanfic featuring sasha but NOT Tim (or any other magnus staff!) would have to create a lot of backstory wholecloth, and not everyone wants to do that. I love her in fanon, but we gotta acknowledge it really mostly is fanon.

As for Helen vs Michael. Michael's backstory is more developed, he was played and manipulated, its pretty damn tragic. Helen is dope! But if you want that flavour of angst and tragedy, Michael has more to work with.

I think it comes down to the type of fan you are and what you prefer to engage with! I suspect jonny has tried to make this less of a factor in tmagp and is focusing on giving more background to female characters from the start. Not trying to insinuate anything shitty abt him either.

.

[corviiids]

ok here is a playlist about light yagami

| light | no surprises - radiohead // | the death note | uprising - muse // boulevard of broken dreams - green day // | misa amane | starlight - muse // | ryuga hideki | do you want me (dead?) - all time low // | memory | i love you - woodkid // | the death note ii | NOSE BLEED - stand atlantic, sueco // you're gonna go far, kid - the offspring // when your heart stops beating - +44 // dead! - my chemical romance // wake me up when september ends - green day // | yagami | mama - my chemical romance // disarm - the smashing pumpkins // father and son - yusuf / cat stevens

also on youtube

(thoughts and context under the cut)

no surprises - light's nihilism and disillusionment pre-kira - without the death note i think light would have gone down this line faster.

A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy Bring down the government

uprising; boulevard of broken dreams - self-explanatory i feel

Rise up and take the power back It's time the fat cats had a heart attack You know that their time's coming to an end

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me 'Til then I walk alone

starlight - misa towards light

Far away from the memories Of the people who care if I live or die ... My life You electrify my life Let's conspire to ignite All the souls that would die just to feel alive

do you want me (dead?) - light and L's early rivalry and interactions in college are largely exploratory, simultaneously more and less openly hostile, still cautious and uncertain where they stand with each other.

There's no such thing as a perfect crime Don't play that You've said it enough Cause you want me Or you want me dead

i love you - self-indulgent haha i couldn't resist. takes place in a similar continuity to my fic where light and L start a fake relationship for the investigation but when light briefly thinks it's real after he loses his memories. i think canonically light is too irritated with L's poor moral compass to develop true feelings for him even during this arc, but i do think it's reasonable to think light might develop a bit of a puppy crush and a desire for L's attention lol. simultaneously it's kinda a bit of L at kira.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

NOSE BLEED - i think this is the most lawlight song ever. (this also made me think of a couple of my fics.) after light gets his memories back i think his attachment to L transforms into a bit of disgust directed both at himself and L

I'd rather be lonely and hate myself Than someone you think about ... So this is what you get For messin' with my head Don't wanna end up dead (Dead) Six feet in the ground

you're gonna go far, kid - nobody wants to hear that this song is about light yagami but it is. lowkey this is L to light while those bells are ringing

There's something in your way And now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want Well it's all because of me Now dance, fucker, dance Man, I never had a chance And no one even knew It was really only you

when your heart stops beating; dead! - self-explanatory and victorious in a hysterical about to start crying way

I'll be there when your heart stops beating I'll be there when your last breath's taken away In the dark when there's no one listening In the times when we both get carried away

Have you heard the news that you're dead? No one ever had much nice to say I think they never liked you anyway Oh, take me from the hospital bed Wouldn't it be grand? It ain't exactly what you planned

wake me up when september ends - listen i concede this one doesn't make a ton of sense but i've included it because the vibes work for me. something something a melancholy coming back to the self, a rude and painful awakening after a loss of innocence you cant run from. look over there, a distraction

The innocent can never last ... Here comes the rain again Falling from the stars Drenched in my pain again Becoming who we are

mama; disarm - light to his family, to the world, a manic little soliloquy

Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry Mama, we're all gonna die And when we go, don't blame us, yeah We'll let the fires just bathe us, yeah You made us oh, so famous ... You should've raised a baby girl, I should've been a better son

I used to be a little boy So old in my shoes And what I choose is my choice What's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you

father and son - are you ever just so god damn sad about the yagamis.

FATHER I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy To be calm when you've found something going on ... SON Keeping all the things I knew inside It's hard But it's harder to ignore it

[wystiix]

talk to me, please

❥ pairing: venti x gn!reader ❥ synopsis: Venti anxiously waits for a text from you to the point where he overthinks and nearly spirals into madness—will you please just fucking reply already? ❥ cw: crack, attempt at humour (kms), fluff maybe?? not proof-read so some stuff may not make sense lmao ❥ additional tags: lowkey kinda revolves around texting, venti's perspective, no pronouns for reader, modern setting, venti is a humanities major cuz i said so, does this count as socmed??? idk someone tell me i need to sleep it's 2am ❥ word count: 955 ❥ notes: bonjour hi hello kumusta. my foot is fucking asleep and my leg feels numb and my back hurts and i'm tired an it's 2am i have school i need to stop. okay so for context i was texting this girl and she wasn't replying so i went crazy, and then i thought "wait i could write a fic about this" and here we are. it was actually kinda fun writing this HAHAHAHAHA but i had to rush it cuz i have other stuff to do so uh it may be a bit quick. (see end notes after reading cuz i said so /j)

The clock ticked. It had been three hours. Venti stared at his phone, impatiently waiting for you just please, please, please reply.

Try to distract yourself, one may say, and mark these fucking words, he did.

He tried everything. From listening to music to doing the dishes, to cleaning his room. Oh, but that was not all.

For the past few hours, he reorganised his notes, desk and playlist, walked at least twenty laps around his dorm, ate all his snacks from the pantry like a fatass, cleaned up his closet and planned what he was going to wear a week from now, learned a new song on his guitar and even counted every single one of his ceiling and wall tiles.

There were exactly 146 tiles in his dorm. That number now forever haunts him.

Practically exhausted from being way too productive than he usually was, he slumped down on his bed and opened the app he used to text you. There was still no reply.

Venti buried his face into his pillow, letting out a groan of frustration.

It was incredibly frustrating and it nearly drove him crazy. Were you seriously that busy? Normally you would respond within a span of seconds, a few to thirty minutes at the latest. But fucking three hours?

He couldn’t let this opportunity slip away. You both had been talking for over a week—he couldn’t afford to mess this up. 

But what if you suddenly lost interest? Oh, it felt far too early for that. Was he finally going to have that Mitski experience? Was he going to be those depressed poets who poured their hearts out through their ink on the paper when a single minor inconvenience happened to them? 

You were killing him. And it was not softly. Venti felt as if his heart was shattering into a million pieces.

Was this his destiny, his punishment for choosing to pursue such a depressing major in humanities?

How cruel the universe is.

He sighed in defeat, opening his notes app to write and exude a poetic, Shakespearean ballad about this before his phone suddenly buzzed.

Ding! You have received a new message from [Name]!

Holy shit has his fingers never moved so quickly before in his entire life, clicking on the notification faster than he could blink. Your sudden message almost gave him a heart attack, for fuck’s sake.

So much for living and breathing Shakespeare.

Oh, how his heart fluttered. A simple message, yet it had him forget about his lament just a few seconds prior and he found himself swooning, practically glazing your message as if it was the most fascinating piece of literature he had ever laid eyes on.

Venti paused, rereading your message 25 million times, unsure how to reply. Should he respond right away, or would that be too eager? He didn’t want to come off as desperate, but three hours of waiting had been excruciating. Perhaps he should wait a minute or two… No, that would be too long!

God he wanted to punch himself in the face for clicking that notification too fast, now he has to think of a response on the spot or else he’d look like an asshole.

He started to type out a response.

k, i see.

He paused, immediately deleting the message with a shake of his head. Too dry, he has to sound interested. I understand! Would you like to shift the conversation to a less taxing topic? Delete. Too formal. LMAOOO dw dw, what was it about anyway? Delete. ahh hope the essay didn’t stress u out too much!! Delete. i’m madly in love with u Delete. Had he sent that he would find the nearest cliff and leap off.

Venti sighed, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. Why was this so complicated? He wanted to sound interested, but not desperate; casual, but not indifferent. He ended up typing something simple and hitting send before he could second-guess himself again. Sometimes, being simple is the ultimate sophistication.

He fought the urge to chuck his phone across the room. Shit, was that too casual? How long were you going to reply this time?

There were immediate blinking dots.

The tension in his chest eased as he found himself giggling at your comment. He realised the way he was acting earlier was ridiculous, maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Venti felt the weight lift off his shoulders. The conversation was back on track, and he could breathe easy again. Just as he was about to put down his phone, the blinking dots appeared again, and he immediately reverted his attention back to it.

Another message.

What.

What the fuck. Was this real?

He put his phone face down, allowing everything to sink in.

What the fuck. Coffee? Tomorrow? With you? Did you just ask him out? Was this real? Was he real? Were you real?

The anxiety that lingered within slowly ebbed away as he stared at the ceiling tiles—the same tiles that haunted him earlier. However, they now seemed oddly comforting.

“Holy shit.”

Gods above, was this a blessing? Maybe his love life wasn’t so hopeless after all.

Venti’s gaze drifted to his closet, where he noticed that same outfit he intended to wear a week from now. A cozy, soft-beige sweater with a hint of cream peeked out from behind a row of neatly hung clothes, gently draping over a pair of charcoal chinos.

He grinned like an idiot, giggling and kicking his feet like a little child who just received their favourite toy. A string of “oh my god, oh my god” repeated endlessly in his head like a loop.

And for once, the silence didn’t feel so heavy.

❥ notes: hi so yes. yes i did what he did here. yes i counted my tiles, but it was my bathroom tiles instead. there are like 121 tiles in the bathroom, including the hidden ones. in this fic i just added the average number of tiles to that number which was like 25 tiles??? lowkey idk i just estimated. and yes i did plan my outfit a week from now, which is for church. yes i cleaned my room. yes i walked more than ten laps around my living room. i was restless. yes i was productive as hell. lmfao by the time i was done with the fic she replied to me so yay!! win!! also pls get the "you were killing him and it's not softly" reference i hope someone at least gets it or else i'm gonna cry myself to sleep. yeah anyways im gonna sleep gn <3

[corvennite]

—⛥ ROCKSTAR ABBY'🎸

headcanons w/fem! reader

I'm writing a fic about it so stay tuned, these are just some ideas that popped up in my head.

cw: nsfw (smut), kinda enemies to ??, voyeur, fingering, female masturbation, phone sex, nude pics, possessive behavior (kinda toxic Abby lol), lesbian sex, p in v (strap on), degrading, edging, overstimulation, lots of teasing, rope bunny, gagging, senses depravation, ghosting. Let me know if I forgot something.

All right so for context, you and Abby do not get along very well since you both know each other, she always had been very stubborn and proud always thinking she's better than anyone (bc she is 🤭) and it got in her head mostly after she started her band. Your friends had always been supportive towards her since you were the only one with problems, they didn't mind much, always dealing and putting up with your attitude when she was mentioned or asked to go out with the group (which was a bit frequtently). Even if you both despised each other, more you than her, there was this oddly weird sexual tension between you two every time a word was exchanged. That's how I think she would be if somehow you managed to get closer to her.

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

(sfw)

⛧ I think she would be an extreme tease, always making jokes and playing around with you;

⛧ she'd put into effort to know your tastes, what you enjoy, favorite music (so she could learn and play), shows, moves, books, etc;

⛧ even if she jokes a lot with you and sometimes she can be a lil mean, she's the only one who can do it;

⛧ she would be a bit of an asshole with the people you go out/hook up with, since she's a bit jealous but would die first than admit it;

⛧ Abby would be overprotective towards you, any guy with a wrong mind and action be sure she would beat them to death without your knowledge;

⛧ she's a good listener, even if it doesn't look like she hears all your bullshit and puts up with it;

⛧ I think she would try to teach you a thing or two around the guitar, however, she would mock you a lot during it;

⛧ would always have you backstage or nearby during the shows;

⛧ asks your opinion (indirectly) on the songs and medleys;

⛧ probably made some demo music thinking about you;

⛧ would never say it but, she gets less nervous when you're around while she's on stage, when she can see you;

⛧ would treat you like a fan despite hour 'hate' towards her, is just her way to provoke you;

⛧ gives you one of the official band merchan before even start to sell it;

⛧ doesn't let any other band member be too close to you, they're her friends but she wants you all to herself;

⛧ she would be very troubled if you got lost around the shows so she always leave her guards keeping an eye on you;

⛧ she probably let you sign one of her guitars on a playful conversation you both had, she never took it off though;

⛧ gave you a necklace with one of her favorite guitar pick.

(nsfw)

⛧ okay so, she would be always dominant at least at the beginning, never submitting for you, sometimes she would get a bit weak if you topped;

⛧ this woman is a guitarrist so she's very skilled with her fingers;

⛧ she would edge you for hours after a show, or even before, inside the dressing room or in the van while heading back;

⛧ her hands would be always over you, gripping around your waist, hips, thighs, ass and even teasing around nearby your clothed core;

⛧ her favorite thing to do is to go down on you while you're reading some lyrics you helped her out with, or, some she made to you (the dirtiest shit she wrote) without your knowledge;

⛧ Abby would definitely finger fuck you while she's recording a song, making some of your moans be the background of it;

⛧ she has a shameless polaroid of you only in her jacket and laced panties, her fingers around the sides pulling a bit down revealing your hip bone, she keeps on her wallet;

⛧ she makes you ride her thigh as she write new lyrics or talks to her manager thru the phone;

⛧ boot humping while she plays the guitar;

⛧ she has those collars around your neck with spikes and a metal circle to hold onto, she enjoys pulling it randomly;

⛧ Abby is a bit too shameless sometimes, if there's another person around the studio she doesn't mind, she touches your pussy until you're begging for her to stop and even so, she'll mock you and ask why you're whining out of no where;

⛧ whenever she's away on tour, she makes you take pics of your body and send to her, most of them with her jacket on or t-shirt;

⛧ she enjoys phone sex a lot, putting you on line making you touch yourself while she's needy for you or even turn into a video call where she can watch you play with your pussy;

⛧ when she gets jealous she gets real jealous, fuckin' you so hard with her 8 inch strap you can see stars, she doesn't care much if you're crying or if it's hurting, she'll take you bent over her desk;

⛧ Abby enjoys gagging you with your own panties, sometimes underwear she buys for you and rips it off afterwards;

⛧ makes you gag and almost pass out on her strap she proudly calls it her own cock;

⛧ despite enjoying the strap, she much more prefer to use her mouth and fingers, the tongue piercing making you see stars when it rubs against your clit;

⛧ she goes totally off fuckin you for the first time, the tension was too much and you were just so pretty with those tight clothes she couldn't resist, even if she hated you so much;

⛧ Abby wouldn't speak with you after your first time, leading into a fight you picked up being stubborn and then, you being all spread out with your eyes covered and her fingers edging you for hours;

⛧ she likes to tie you up, how pretty you look with red ropes around your wrists, thighs, ankles, chest, everywhere she can put them, she just loves it. maybe it will even be a cover of one of her new albums;

⛧ you're not the only girl in her life, a rockstar like herself has a couple share of groupies and even if she's over possessive with you, the same behavior coming from someone she could only toy with makes her kind mad;

⛧ she loves watching you touching yourself, she always makes you do it but then slaps your hand off when she sees you're ready to cum, the way you back arch and toes curl, how you look so beautiful trying to reach spots only she can get, she gets so damn turned on;

⛧ while fuckin, she will call you the most degrading names, it's not a lie, after all you are her little slut and shameless harlot, the doll she enjoys to break and the bitch who swore she hates her sooo damn much.

[zestyliljesty]

Merlin Epic AU... Kinda

I made the mistake of listening to Would You Fall In Love With Me Again while also thinking about Merthur and now I can't stop thinking about an AU where Merlin takes the Knights of Camelot to face off against Morgana and literally begs Arthur to stay back, eventually revealing his magic just to convince the king he won't be needed on the field (maybe he saw visions of Arthur's death? or maybe he's just being his usual gay self).

Anyway, they beat Morgana & Mordred and all that good stuff but it takes a while, it takes even longer to get home because of Magic Balance stuff (I promise it makes sense with context I just don't have the brainpower to give the aforementioned context).

When Merlin finally gets home, its only with a handful of Knights and a boatload of trauma (what else is new) and basically Wouls You Fall In Love With me Again plays out but with him and Arthur.

Side note I love the thought of Arthur just staving off thirsty women by saying he's grieving the loss of his "good friend" Merlin.

Will I turn this into an actual fic? probably not, but it is fun to think about.

[storiesofsvu]

CM 17.3

Alright!! 17e3 here we go!!

(I meant to rewatch the first 2 eps before this but didn’t get around to it, so a more in-depth review/more film student analysis is still to come.)

Enjoy this chaos with no context for now! (a lot of it likely isn’t gonna be fully fleshed out cause I have a full thought/reply and try my hardest to type it all out super fast before the show moves on but I have to stop to pay attention OR something else comes up and im just SCRAMBLING)

Absolutely hate there’s no subtitles right away for this but I mean.. I could wait a couple of days til its on Disney I just have no patience.

GOD why is it so fucking dark.

Thank you Emily for not letting luke spill the beans, like, kinda like Rebecca as a person, but can’t trust her as long as her job goes

Okay, em is in the right here, both in the sense of keeping it quiet originally but also making luke keep hush. Cause im sorry but she’s right. It would’ve 1000% drove the team to the brink and split them apart AND made them spiral so deep about what was on the site/other people seeing them/trying to cleanse the web of them (which obvi is impossible). Esp jj of all people? Like I’m not really sure *what* is on there, but jj is the one with KIDS, a full family, she’s still in contact with her parents (at least the mom?) she’s probably likely known in the circle of the boys friends parents? Like that’s SO much damage control to stress over??

Im so fucking excited for prentiss’ wacko neighbour to come back loool

LOOOOLL em’s “oh.. oh no…” reaction. I love this.

Did pen just say “tik tack” instead of tik tok? or was I not listening properly lol

“what are you gonna do?” “put out fires” that is LITERALLY a boss’ job. This being said as a boss.

“I don’t want to say no to your face…” SAME girl… same

GOD Emily is so fucking beautiful

This back and fourth with Garcia and her opinions on tyler is SO annoying. At first she hates him and doesn’t want to even look at him, then they’re flirting, then they’re fucking. Then she’s all twitterpated and wrapped around his finger. Then she AGAIN wants nothing to do with him?? Even though in the last ep she was all high school girlie about working with an “ex”?? I GET that the writers/showrunners are piling the comic relief onto her/the situation but come ON.

“I didn’t call you” “your landlord did” BRUH. COME ON. I don’t care how crazy things are, you ALWAYS double check that! I once saw a dude backing into my driveway with a ladder and immediately went outside to be all “uh..hello?” he immediately pulled out his phone, named my landlord, pointed out what he was there for (damage to the siding of the house, I hadn’t noticed cause I hadn’t left the house and live in the basement) AND offered to call my landlord. ALWAYS BE SUSPICIOUS.

WHY THE FUCK ARE JJ AND LUKE PAIRED UP!!!!????? Jj’s a profiler, she’s obvi gonna be able to get it outta luke, or press him for details, or whatever. If he’s supposed to keep shit quiet why tf are they off together. (or were they specifically asked to be together by voit? Cause that’s just him playing into his bullshit again)

“Emily practising deception isn’t a lie. It’s good leadership” THANK YOU.

Also...to feed all the jemily shippers out there… if this was a fic written by me.. it would be bundled into the AI shit, but there would be pics of Emily and jj hooking up that were very easily proven to be legit and the entire situation would out them and that’s what the actual issue was/is with the site…

I understand jj is outside with Sydney and luke’s job is to keep the girls distracted inside but of COURSE its himbo’s first reaction to pull out the soccer ball INSIDE.

Okay is that just some weird direction/camera angles or are we eluding to the older sister being a cutter?

Emily’s reactions to brian were perfection.

JFC NO! who’s out there stalking them? Uggghh (though I will say that the moment something clinked in the parking garage I said to myself “pls don’t let her get kidnapped in ep 3…”

I KNEW IT WAS CARBON MONOXIDE!! So smrt

Why does it feel like tyler knows more about gold star than the bau does?

Oooo but he cloned the phone! Good boy!!

Penelope: in charge of tracking down tyler

Tyler: texts Penelope “I need to see you”

Penelope: “NO!” doesn’t reply….

Ah yes.. I was right about the cutting… oof. Uugggh talk about heartbreaking..

LOOOOL tara teasing rossi! “I think I pulled… everything…” HHAH

Im not gonna lie, I absolutely HATE that they went down this AI *porn* route, as if these fucking poor characters haven’t been through enough, and like, again as I said, JJ… she’s got the most damage control to do no matter what, and poor girl hasn’t dealt with more than half her trauma so far…

“but I didn’t exactly get it legally, so you know what rebecca’s gonna say” THANK YOU. But also, like fuck that. cause this show has ALWAYS been above the law in that sense. I can’t remember if I said it in last week’s summary or if it was another random post, but CM vs like, SVU is WILD because we NEVER see things past the cuffs being put on/the unsub getting killed/killing themselves. We never go to court, we never see the legal side of it BECAUSE 99% of them would be not guilty due to mental…defect? LOL I know that’s not the right word/phrase but you know what I mean. CM is about the mind of the criminal and chasing them down and finding out the trigger and stressor and figuring out the pattern, not seeing things through to court and prison.

and while I love the addition of her character (Rebecca), it’s making other characters act in ways they never have before/never would simply because now the show is implicating the legal side of things. again, love having Rebecca and that boundary in line for the team but it is messing with the normal dynamics we are used to. Like..as IF Penelope would have any issue using an illegally cloned phone in the past. She was all “don’t ask questions” “well yes I *could* get access to that record, but it is technically sealed” and hotch would be all “I didn’t hear anything…”

LOL Emily with a full bottle of wine at her desk. Love her. god she’s SO annoyed with brian and I love it.

SEE this is why luke never should have said anything. Cause it doesn’t matter how hard you try not to look, you’re never going to be able to resist being able to look it up, no matter how bad it is, how fake and evil and ugly it is, you’re still gonna want to know and jj didn’t need to see that/know about it. How is she supposed to go home and act ok now??

“okay they’re here… somehow” DUDE YOU KNOW BETTER EM! Doesn’t matter that youre in an fbi parking garage, no cop gets there that fast!!

Also..that red coat is TRENCH COAT. YEESSS

Oh FUCK YOU BRIAN

“FUCKING BRIAN!” thankkkkk you em

THAT’S HOW IT ENDS SEERIOUSLY? Ffs.

Also…in all seriousness. Em was in HER office at the BAU, somewhere you (I assume) need clearance to get on property, much less in the building or into the parking, so WHY/HOW the FUCK were both brian, the guys who beat him up and whoever took the pictures get clearance?? SHOULDN’T QUANTICO HAVE SOME PRETTY FUCKING HIGH SECURITY LEVELS???

[courfee]

help me decide on a title for my fic please i'm getting desperate

i'm gonna put some info about the reasoning for the titles and general info about the fic under the cut, but feel free to also just vote based on vibes

ok so fic:

this is an accidental fake dating jegulus fic. james keeps having panic attacks which he does not want anyone to know about. regulus accidentally walks in on him while he is panicking the first time, helping him to calm down, and ends up becoming james' go to method for getting comfort, which prompts all of their friends to assume they're secretly dating. james and reg finally go with it to stop getting questions and keep james' cover.

it's supposed to still be somewhat light hearted vibes for the story, like this isn't pure angst and poetry and whatever. idk if it helps to convey the vibes, but the first sentence is as follows:

"The first time it happens it takes James completely by surprise, which is, in retrospect, the entire reason it goes so badly."

titles:

ritardando:

in music it indicates a gradual or sudden decrease in tempo, followed by a complete stop, its used to add a sense of drama and intensity to the performance, creating tension and capturing the listener’s attention

its supposed to signify reg essentially stopping james' panic

in german you also have a "retardierendes moment" (idk what it's called in english) in story telling which is usually in the fourth act and is there to slow down the conclusion, mislead the reader to expect a different ending (e.g. have another little drama happen before the happy end/give a spark of hope before the hero meets their final tragedy)

downside of this is that there is obviously the r-word in english which is linguistically related to this and i do not wanna evoke that association?

also music has literally no significance for the fic and also maybe this is too pretentious for the vibes i'm going for?

rallentando

essentially very similar to ritardando, gradually decreases the tempo in music and is supposed to prepare the listener for a new section (new key/tempo/etc), used to create relaxation or mellowness, allowing for more expressive playing

it couldddd stand for panic attack is over and the new section becoming jegulus, however we go into the story with james already very much crushing on reg so thats not new for him.

plus the slowing of the heartbeat isn't exactly a romantic thing in this context?

it does sound a lot prettier as a word than ritardando, however it's a more uncommon musical word as far as i am aware so idk if people would get what this is playing at

also music has literally no signficance for the fic and also maybe this is too pretentious for the vibes i'm going for?

objectively i could change the below poem to include this word instead even if i guess it wouldn't be 'the end's' one as much

you make my heart beat slower:

rather obvious where this is coming from. play on the general "you make my heart beat faster" only it's the opposite cause james is being calmed down

it just doesn't really sound all that nice? i'm not vibing with it as a title too much it feels off

doesn't shorten to anything nice (ymmhbs looks kinda dumb)

the end's conducted ritardando:

see above ritardando

i wrote a poem for the general sentiment of feeling where this line is coming from:

decrescendo:

so far my working title

in music this signfies a decrease in volume

which is not at all what i was playing at, i just mixed up the words when i thought about it, but objectively it is a nice word

??????

no musical relevance in the fic

[gloomybadger4life]

(This got long I’m sorry) Hi, I want some advice, Sokkla-wise. I’m writing a Sokkla fic right now, and it’s in a college au, 1: because I like them in modern au’s. But 2: I am nervous about how to handle the many criticisms I’ve seen about Azula always needing to be ‘fixed’ and that role usually falling to a partner, and I’ve seen Sokka notes for this a lot. I’m just nervous about handling them correctly. In this modern au, my idea would be that Azula continues to have her overwhelming amount of confidence and strives for perfection (academicly but also for anything else she decides to go for), along with an endearing amount of bitchiness. And Sokka being the laid back jokester, but also an engineering genius. And I kinda just wanna smush them together and make them cute. I’ve gone off the rails, basically, do you have any advice on how to handle Sokkla with making him ‘fix’ her? This feels like a stupid, basic question but I just want to make sure I do them justice.

Firstly never apologize for fully warranted specificity and context. And there are no stupid questions.

I preface this by saying Sokkla is not my main ship. I see them as amazing friends. Platonic or romantic they can work.

So onto how to avoid the fix her narrative.

1. Both Azula and Sokka carry trauma. Sokka copes with humor and aloofness. Azula copes with perfectionism. These are struggles that land them in difficult situations.

2. Azula's trauma revolves around authority figures and would-be mentors/parents neglecting her emotional needs and only nurturing the traits that made her callous and calculating. She has emotions but never had the space or environment to learn how to navigate them.

Knowing those two things, we can make a few assumptions about Azula's path to healing.

A. She will have to unlearn her problematic views on people. I.e. she was maybe taught that anyone who struggles academically is inferior.

B. Trusting people is highly difficult.

C. She will be wary of anyone who tries to exert authority or control over her.

Given that this is a college AU. I do not know which aspects of her arc in the show will be represented or alluded to. Please take the following with a grain of salt.

What Azula really needs is a safe person to talk to, and space to heal by herself.

Of course she can be supported and given advice. But she has to have the lead. The initiative has to come from her.

This is because her sense of self was based on meeting standards, or pleasing her father. She has to rebuild her self worth and base it on her own goals, outside of family influence.

This is where deconstruction and questioning her upbringing comes into play. Sokka can definitely listen and converse, but Azula has to ask and answer the hard questions.

In short. Sokka's role should not be mentor, authority figure, or substitute family member.

It can be, friend, listener, cheerleader.

I hope this answers your question. Thank you for asking.

[moooooolnp]

OKAY GUYS I HAVE A SDC/JJBA AU AND I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD LMK IF ITS WORTH WRITING

TW: mentions of d3ath, mentions of mvrder, and eating raw m3at. Don’t read this if these would trigger you!! Have a lovely day!!

Okay so basically dio awakens 2 years earlier than expected and (for some reason that I will figure out) Jotaros stand won’t awaken until he’s 17. So he sends a couple stand users to kill him and he dies. UNTIL it’s when SDC would start. Instead of having a stand, he is a living corpse and (bc of the nature of his death) has his emo personality. Replacing SP, he is kinda like Sally from the nightmare before Christmas in that he can detach limbs and doesn’t feel pain (at least not in the same way living people would.) If he WANTED (which, considering part 3 Jotaro being stubborn and a contrarian prob wouldn’t on his own fruition) he could eat raw meat/raw food in general (not human flesh) to look alive. I’m also considering giving him this (kinda gross) ability but idk yet. He would be able to bite people (around where their neck and shoulders meet) and look like that person, however, only look like that person in a state of rigor mortis (don’t look it up, it’s a stage of death) and he would have to be mute cus he wouldn’t sound like them. I have stories like this for Kakyoin and Polnareff but not for Avdol and Joseph cus I’m not sure what I should make their traumatic backstory or interesting way of making them gorey creatures. I also don’t think old Joseph being one of them would really make sense in the context of everyone else. Esp cus Holly would be like a mourning mother WHILE being sick AND just now getting her son back and him being in a constant state of being, well, dead. I just think I would keep Joseph the same since there would be stands in this universe ofc. have settled on Polnareff being kinda like Edward schissor hands, and Kakyoin being a full on ghost and making ppl go crazy. I literally just had this idea listening to music today so it’s not rlly developed yet but if it’s worth developing I have it STUCK IN MY BRAIN.

[whumpbug]

HI HELLO okay. explode sound effect. am i allowed to ask for part 3 kidnapping fic where archie deals with aforementioned Feelings and the Past because you gotta confront them someday archie. actually both of them gotta confront those Feelings. and also be real stupid about it

@mellowwhumps

HI YES U ABSOLUTELY ARE ALLOWED TO ASK THAT.

IM SO SORRY this took me an eon and its kinda short, but i honestly struggled a bit because i couldn't figure out how the boys would approach these Feelings. this is a very dialouge heavy fic as well which was different for me so i'll be honest, some of the dialogue doesnt make sense/is a bit too stiff BUT its ok bc. we're practicing gang

also, it will be very helpful to read the background section of this post for some context

these boys are far from done talking about this kind of stuff, but this is a start. a start archie needed.

here is part 1 and part 2

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

“What are you going to do if I hurt you one day?”

Simon froze in place, nearly dropping the gauze he was using to clean the blood from Archie’s face. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?”

Archie’s eyes were vacant when he drew them up to look at Simon. There was still dried blood smeared on Archie’s cheek and temple. The drugs were still working their way through his system, and it was making him hazy. His eye socket was already beginning to bruise a deep purple, and his knuckles were raw, to boot.

“I just mean,” He swallowed reflexively. “If I hurt you. If I freak out again.”

Simon frowned. He set down his medical instruments on the coffee table and sat to face Archie.

“Hey. Look at me? Tell me what’s going on. Where is all this coming from?” He asked softly, voice filled with tenderness.

Archie didn’t meet his gaze. His voice was wavering.

“You.. you saw what I did to those guys. I lost control. I almost killed them.”

Simon ran a hand through his own hair and bit his lip. Alright, they were having this conversation.

“Archie, you couldn’t help it. They tried to hurt you. You did what you had to d--”

“No, Simon! I know how to subdue people without hurting them that badly. I just didn’t. I lost it. And I have no way to prove I won’t do it to you one day under the right circumstances. I’m.. I’m dangerous.”

For once, Simon had nothing to say. Not because he agreed with Archie, but because he wasn’t sure how to respond in a way that wouldn't make the situation worse. Archie needed to vent it out before he would listen to anything. He sat there, lips pursed as he watched tears threaten to spill over Archie’s lashes.

“Simon.. I just.. it’s so hard..” He hiccuped, leaning forward and burying his face in his hands. “I feel like a ticking time bomb and I just.. I’m.. a monster.” He sobbed, breath becoming erratic.

Okay, now he could intervene.

Simon wasted no time kicking off his shoes and getting up onto the couch with Archie. He pulled him into a full-body hug as sobs wracked Archie’s sore body. Archie weakly clung to the cotton of Simon's shirt, breath hitching.

They stayed like that for a while-- Simon rubbing rhythmic circles into Archie’s shoulder blades and Archie bawling until he had no breath left. Eventually, the sobs fizzled out into soft, sharp intakes of breath every few seconds. Simon was the first to pull away.

“Archie. Will you look at me?”

Archie wordlessly lifted his gaze to Simon’s. He looked positively miserable.

This wasn’t the first time Archie got worked up about things like this, but it was the first time Simon saw him this worked up.

He needed to tread carefully. He reached up and found Archie’s bruised cheek with his hand. Gently, he thumbed away the tears.

“You’re not going to hurt me.”

Archie sharply inhaled, already shaking his head. “No.. you don’t know that. I've hurt you before, accidentally--”

“And I’m here to tell the tale.” Simon reassured, voice soft as silk.

Archie opened his mouth to refute, but no words came.

“You expect perfection from yourself, which is ridiculous. These abilities were forced on you when you were just a kid. You.. you were hurt so badly, and you still manage to use them for good every day.”

Tears were streaming down Archie’s cheeks once again, but he remained silent. Simon snaked an arm around his back and rubbed slow circles. His hand came up to thread in Archie's curls.

“Despite all that, you’re still a human. You’re allowed to fuck up. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You don’t owe anyone anything," Simon murmured, pulling Archie's head to his shoulder gently. "Tonight, you dealt with the situation the best you could after literally being drugged, and you know what? Those guys will live. And I’ll live too, thanks to you coming to get me.”

Archie was still instinctively shaking his head against Simon’s words. Stuttering breaths were escaping him as he fought back another round of sobs.

“But.. but I was so out of control.. I don’t-- I can’t feel like that again..” He whimpered, leaning forward into Simon’s shoulder. “I really thought I killed them..”

“But you didn’t. And Archie, you were protecting me. You didn’t lay a finger on me. That has to count for something.”

Archie sniffled and adjusted his position to be laying against Simon’s chest. Simon took one of Archie’s hands and began cleaning his tender knuckles before speaking again.

“Look, all I’m trying to say is that you aren’t as evil as you make yourself out to be. You’ve come a long way, and you’re doing so well. I wish you could see it as well as I can. No matter what happens, you’ll always be a good person at heart, and that’s the most important thing.”

Archie let out a hardly audible sniffle before the tears were pouring once again.

“You really believe that?” He whimpered, turning his head into the soft fabric of Simon’s shirt.”

“I do. And I’m here to help you through it, whether you like it or not. We’ll work through this together.”

Archie said nothing, but his lip trembled. Simon began patching him up again, tilting his head down to press a kiss to Archie's temple. Archie leaned into the it, letting his eyes flutter close.

"Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

Simon's voice seemed to be all it took for Archie to slip into unconsciousness.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

[rocksibblingsau]

Hi @rocksibblings, it’s me again! Today I am here to suggest some music inspiration! So I just saw the Broadway musical “& Juliet” for my birthday a couple weeks ago (loved it) and I was also taking some notes on how some songs might fit in with your fic. For context, & Juliet is a jukebox musical so basically, their songs are covers of existing music (mostly by well-known artists). A good amount songs are “pop” songs but I think the musical covers kinda lean more towards a pop-rockish vibe. I also have someone in the family in the acting community and they said all audition song requirements for the musical are “pop-rock” so I think it can work out pretty well. (I like the Broadway version better than the actual songs themselves, but I'm literally a musical theatre kid so I’m biased lmao)  Anyway, here are my top three:

“It’s My Life” (Genre - Rock), Mainly Romeo’s part, I feel like this song fits Branch so much, it could be used as a statement/declaration song for his newfound rock style of life. I can also see his found family filling in the other parts and “certain” pop trolls filling the part when Romeo interrupts at the end (It’ll make more sense when you listen to it). This is a cover of Bon Jovi which I didn’t listen to completely but I’d say it’s worth listening to. It can also be a good opportunity for Branch to say his first cuss word at the end lol.  (P.S. Romeo’s outfit has a stereotypically punk/rock vibe so you can check that out if you want) Out of all the songs, I highly suggest you listen to this one (10/10). "It's My Life" – & Juliet Original Broadway Cast Recording 

“Since U Been Gone” (Genre - Pop Rock) - Pretty Iconic Song, Original by Kelly Clarkson, can fit with Branch along with many situations. It’s not a stereotypical song for rock and sounds more pop to my ear, but I think it could work out in a way somehow (6/10). "Since U Been Gone" – & Juliet Original Broadway Cast Recording

“Fuckin Perfect” (Genre - Pop) - Orginal by Pink, Not bad as an emotional song. It is a pop song though but I think the title and the lyrics as well as the message it brings across could work out well, especially since we have an ongoing problem with perfection. Definitely can see someone singing this to Branch. Not high on my list, but I think it’s worth a try (7/10). "Fuckin’ Perfect" – & Juliet Original Broadway Cast Recording

Honorable Mentions: Stronger, Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely, Problem/ Can’t Feel My Face, One More Try

So yeah I really hope you get to listen to these songs, I love this musical and I highly suggest you check it out (it’s pretty much all i’ve been listening to). If you get a chance I suggest you listen to whole the playlist if you like the covers. But most of all I hope some of these songs help. That’s all for now, can’t wait for the next chapter and stay hydrated!

Thank you for the recommendations! When possible for any songs that appear in fic I'm going to be using the originals rather than genre changes (except in a few... special cases ;)) but as songs to listen to while I work I love these!

I really like It's My Life, namely Romeo's part! It's funny, the start of it reminds me of a boy band song that I can't remember (I wanna say Larger Than Life? but I'm too lazy to look it up).

Rock covers of pop songs always hit so hard. The cover of Bad Romance by Halestorm? Perfection.

I could see a couple people singing 'Fuckin' Perfect' to Branch!

[ouchpotatoex]

So Professor X can sing! Kinda! 😄

EDIT: Fixed some links and relinked to ThePoodleBites' version of "Does Not Exist."

Went on a bit of a deep dive today with Professor X's first VA, Cedric Smith. I knew long ago that he was a folk singer in the 1970's but couldn't find much in the 2000's in terms of information and songs except for "Carrighfergus" from Loreena McKennitt's Elemental.

Well today I decided to distract myself from work and was able to find more of his other songs on YouTube, most notably from Perth County Conspiracy. It's folksy, hippie music with some very nice harmonizing vocals. There are some songs that start with or lead into Cedric reading passages that can get pretty trippy. It makes so much sense that he went into acting and voiceover work, the man is a natural performer (hamminess and everything).

NGL I'm chuffed. I especially love the Touch the Earth and Road to Avonlea performances. Now I need a fic or something of Professor X singing to little Xandra is what I'm saying. 🥹

ThePoodleBites has lovingly restored "Does Not Exist" which many consider to be PCC's best album. It's on YouTube as well as for download as FLAC on his blog: https://upvhq.blogspot.com/search/label/Perth%20County%20Conspiracy

The Museum of Canadian Music has other songs available to listen to https://citizenfreak.com/artists/101080-perth-county-conspiracy

WARNING: "Hezekaiah" and a bunch of songs from the Alive LP contain terms (re: slurs). The 60's and 70's were definitely a time... There's some context in Hezekaiah because it's telling a story but it's still very jarring. It also contains quite a few instances of the g-slur to romanticize a free-spirited lifestyle (because hippies) but is still just... UGH. All to say that I'm not linking out to Alive for many reasons. I'll post the few songs that I like from this album separately.

Also, gore warning towards the end of "Easy Rider" into "Americanadian Way" that goes into a monologue about war. It literally starts with a bang (watch out for that too I guess).

[flyingspicerack]

ok im making you all look at this, this is my essay on all the scenes with Ichimatsu in them from takopa, my explanations of why he does them and what they mean UNDER THE FILTER that Mao exists and this takes place simultaneously during my fic

SO I deffo think that takopa takes place, like, on the day it was released, like the evening they have the party is friday july 21st 2023, SO that would mean it takes place between chapters 9/10 and 11, 9 and 10 being the 'ichi stands mao up' and 'mao is hungover' ones that take place mid july, so im thinking 9/10 probably take place around the 17/18th maybe.... SO at the time of the takopa, Ichi and Mao's relationship is that they are finally officially friends, they know about each others neet/hikikomori status, but arent,,, like super close ... its before the festival chapter, so if that makes any sense

the first and second images dont have anything to do with Mao, i just think it's cute that hes just basking in the sun like a kitty cat. the second one however, i think ichi stay home 1 bc hes a homebody but 2 bc he spent all his allowance and cant go see mao at the cafe

ok this is a big one, very loaded. see, his brothers outright ignoring him and not telling him whats going on? well that puts a downright bad and spiteful taste in his mouth, so he's already not going into it with the best attitude

and HERE!! RIGHT here is when ichimatsu decides to fall right back into his position in the family dynamic as the quiet one who follows along with the others, the one who takes the backseat approach to the dynamic. if his brothers are doing something, hes always just going to follow along to an extent to keep the status quo

ok so, ichi, like a cat, reserved to the idea of new ppl being in the house (nyaa and baby), as well as spiteful about the situation as a whole... he goes along with the brothers in the 'pining for totoko' thing because thats just... what they do, theyve been doing it since they were kids, so even if he were to realistically kinda back off from it, there would be questions, so hes just... hes just keeping in line, in his place... BUT HES NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT!

after the bit with the takoyaki turning and ichi finally having fun, he realizes he CAN let loose a little and try to have a good time, sooooo now hes gonna be a little shit and mess with his brothers' chances at getting with totoko bc he can

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT .... ok ... so ichi is there and visibly nervous... nyaa opens the conversation about cats, to which he relaxes... he relaxes yes cause cats, but also nyaa... pink hair... pink hair and cats to him is mao ... its a bit easier to talk to nyaa in the context that he's just kinda thinking about mao.... nod nod nod nod

OK ALL OF THIS IS SO GHREDFLSGFLGBSL OKAY listen... Ichimatsu isn't with mao, but he's pining so hard and hes constantly thinking of the ways that he can incrimentally make homself better so he can be a guy they might be into... so he also, for some reason, thinks mao has experience/isnt a virgin, SO he thinks that he needs to step it up. If he were to get the chance to get an indirect kiss/finally pop his cherry, well, in his eyes he thinks he might be a better guy for mao, he won't be utterly pathetic. IN ADDITION, he picks nyaa because, lets face it, were he to actually gotten the opportunity to sleep with her, he'd be thinking of mao the whole time cause pink and cats... probably say their name too if im being toooootttallly honest... so yeah... he would want to do this to be able to not be such a loser for mao... even if he kinda does have that desire to have them be his first... but his desire to be more desirable to them outweighs his personal wishes if that makes sense....

anyway thats it, thats my post, maoichi real bc i said so