#listen up chucklefucks

[therealadothamilton]

RON CHERNOW

Are there inaccuracies in Ron Chernow's biography of Alexander Hamilton? Of course.

Does he kiss Hamilton's ass? Sure, the book is totally hagiographic... except when he's criticizing Hamilton for...

Cheating on his wife

The Newburgh Conspiracy

The John Adams burn letter

The Reynolds Pamphlet

The Whiskey Rebellion

Defending the Jay Treaty

Getting killed in a duel

Leaving his widow and children destitute

Duel challenges

Bitching anonymously in the press

Being too thin skinned

Lusting after pretty much everyone including his sisters in law

Etc., etc.

Oh, and btw, he doesn't cite his sources at all.... Except, these:

[fourphoenixfeathers]

so is your shattered glass au inspired by the cancled tfa animated where bulkhead and sari went to the shattered glass world?

No, not really. I've heard of the cancelled plans, but nothing really caught my eye. I was mainly inspired by the IDW shattered glass comics, and the way the Decepticons in TFA are always just a few war crimes away from being good guys. The times where they were living up to their name and being deceptive, I always found myself thinking "what if it wasn't an act? what if they really did care?" and that's where the sg au thoughts began.

Stuff like the autobot high command being deeply messed up even in canon, the way that Sumdac was so sweet and kind with Megatron when he thought he was an autobot, and the way Longarm/Shockwave was the only bot who seemed to care about Bee in training were a major part of it.

I didn't need to change the autobots too much to be honest, they just had to be a bit more ruthless and overtly cruel. And for the decepticons, they were already fighting for their own reasons. I just wanted to see a world where they became freedom fighters instead of terrorists. And since Optimus and the space bridge crew aren't as entrenched in the autobot brainrot, I wanted to jump on the opportunity to get them to switch sides, so I can have all my fave characters.

There are also some things that I just injected straight from the IDW shattered glass, aside from the color palettes, like Starscream being a scientist and Shockwave struggling with his infiltration bc he has too much empathy. But there are also a ton of things that I don't want to mirror, because even though they were interesting, the overall tone of the au is fluffy. If I could make everyone turn traitor, I would, but right now I'm just looking at the space bridge crew and Blurr.

[synthient]

Really looking forward to a dropoff in "pretending the electoral college doesn't exist" posting

[a-queer-little-wombat]

Reblog to help a vegan learn to co-exist better with the animals they say they love.

Vegans of tumblr, listen up. Harvesting agave in the quantities required so you dont have to eat honey is killing mexican long-nosed bats. They feed off the nectar and pollinate the plants. They need the agave. You want to help the environment? Go back to honey. Your liver and thyroid will thank you, as well. Agave is 90% fructose, which can cause a host of issues. Bye.

[elpsycongruent]

friendly, extremely stupid people who strike up extremely loud and utterly insipid conversations with their seatmates on airplanes are the bane of my existence

[tomorrowillbeyou]

Listen up chucklefuck I’m here to learn you a thing or two about [several men wearing black suits and sunglasses drag me offstage and out of sight . there is silence for several seconds and then you hear one loud gunshot before the men reappear without me]

i read the start of this and was going to say i would kill you. But it seems my goons already did the job... everyone say thank you goons!!!! giives them all a delicious meal and 1000 dollar

[genkishoujo]

why is it that when a white person is absolutely convinced they're correct they use the most condescending coding they know to talk to you

[hippo-pot]

it might have literally been just this year (either that or last year) that I really learned that you have to just ignore when people are being mean online. like especially if they respond to you pointing it out by, again, being mean. you mean nothing to them, they mean nothing to you, they have no reason to believe you when you say they're being mean. most likely no one is going to improve by this communication.

but i think i still haven't really learned it because i will still go out of my way not to disagree with people online where they will see it haha. like i still feel like i would lose a day of productivity to anger and replaying the interaction and crafting "perfect" response(s) if someone was too condescending about my opinion

[kaiasky]

listen up chucklefucks, i just gotta say. I'm not defending zir, but I'm sad zie deactivated. Like, i get that trauma lasts a long time and the good stuff is maybe easy to forget?? so maybe it's just like that. And my beloved mutual @/pompeyspuppygirl made a post about zir clout chasing behavior, which is pretty shitty behavior if it's true (and if we're canceling someone it had better be pretty severe). anyways now that zie's gone pompeyspuppygirl said it was okay to make this post (again, thanks ppg everyone go follow her--really everyone in this whole drama is worth a follow)

ANYways yeah zie was my mutual and like, reblogged a lot my smaller posts. (that isn't to discredit what my mutual pompeyspuppygirl is saying about zie clout chasing ofc). AND idk zie was always reblogging art from new and undiscovered artists and reblogging donation posts (which if you don't know is really bad if you're trying to clout chase...) (again, though, ppg is my mutual i believe her.) and like, remember on valentines day i tried to blaze zir posts and zie told me to stop because zie didn't want the posts to go viral? (but again ppg is my mutual and has a lot of proof in the Google doc I'm not trying to disprove that I'm just saying what else I know)

Idk, like i feel like a lot of people loved zir's blog a while back, bc like zie DID make some good posts?? So idk why everybody's acting like they aren't even a little bit sad.,. like ngl this feels like maybe all the reasonable people left to Twitter and all the Twitter refugees who love drama came here??? shdfhhdhdhdhdh haha but idk...look idk, i just, julie i do miss you. idk. more thoughts later sorry I'm getting worked up shshs

[werewolfetone]

Going back in time to mid eighteenth century cork to teach the whiteboys to talk like tumblr users to with the sole purpose of fucking up the cork accent forever & ever

They need to invent time travel so that I can introduce the phrase go whiteboy go to mid eighteenth century cork

[nihiltism]

¡ocho! (eight for all my english speakers out there)

thats celine!! ive talked about her before too but i havent really thought about songs for her. uhhhhhh

yeah okay that works. i dont think its Exactly her but i do relate it to her. also her girlfriend iris to a lesser extent especially the burn ourselves to ashes thing. anyway im bad at explaining Why this vibes but i do think it does. "shes cheery enough to situations that are otherwise Fucked" is the best explanation ive got. man i know the oc personally its fine if i cant explain it. its a nice song and i think she'd enjoy it

[what-if-i-dee-eye-do]

current brainfeel: blow my brains out by tikkle me

[snapscube]

do you think the grinch is a little bit weird or actually awesome

okay listen up you chucklefucks!!!!!!

👏 CHARACTERS 👏 CAN 👏 HAVE 👏 MORE 👏 THAN 👏 ONE 👏 PERSONALITY 👏 TRAIT 👏

the grinch is both a LITTE BIT WEIRD.... AND actually awesome! im sooo sick of people consuming media and thinking stuff like this! just because jax from TADC is an asshole doesn't mean he isn't also sympathetic! just cause scungle from ripworld unbound doesn't have a nose doesn't mean he's not allowed to be disinterested in fishing!!! would you say this kind of thing about kylo ren????? PROBABLY NOT!!!!!!!! it PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GRINCH IS SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S LIKE A CHARACTER THAT HE CAN... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[qqueenofhades]

I KNOW he’s gonna find a way to worm his way out of it like the Worlds Biggest Bitch Baby that he is but… the thought of watching our future president absolutely eviscerate that orange sack of pond scum in a debate on national television make me feel indescribable joy. The mere thought of it makes me feel A L I V E.

I hope that if he refuses to debate her, she still stands up there by herself, looks directly into the camera and lists all the ways he’s a Scaredy Little Punk Ass Bitch.

Listen, Democrats might still have some understandable nerves (though listen to me, LISTEN TO ME: this is NOT THE TIME FOR MORE PANIC, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT HOW SCARY THIS IS, WE KNOW! WE KNOW! THIS IS THE TIME TO GET TF IN FORMATION AND DO YOUR GODDAMN JOB!) but let me say this, the Republicans are LOSING it. They put ALL their chips on facing Sleepy Old Joe who don't talk so good anymore, and suddenly they have a 59-year-old lawyer and prosecutor who literally spent her whole elected career going after sex pests, frauds, and felons. (We remember how she made Brett Kavanaugh fucking cry at his confirmation hearing, right?) And suddenly, they have to bring it against Kamala. GODSPEED, DIPSHITS.

So yes, Trump is already whining SO hard about all the money they "wasted" going after Biden, laying the groundwork to escape getting his ass handed to him at the next debate, got stuck with a terriblawful VP pick (even Fucking FOX NEWS cut away from Vance's rally the other day because it was so boring) and suddenly realizing that he spent so much effort to make this election about age and mental competency when... now it's him. WHAT NOW, FUCKFACES. WHAT. NOW.

I'd also like to point out that abortion rights are going to be a HUGE issue, they have won everywhere they have been on the ballot (including in very red states) post-Dobbs, they will be on the ballot in several more important states (including Fucking Florida, not that I actually think we'll win there), and Kamala has a great record as a defender of reproductive freedom. Biden did his best, bless him, but sometimes the Old Catholic Man still leaped out. So the absolute fucking schadenfreude of having a black female president BEAT TRUMP IN A POST-DOBBS ELECTION??? MAGNIFICENT.

(As @silverbirching says: we wonder how many minutes it will take SCOTUS to row back the "president god-king" ruling if Kamala wins. We're guessing 15. That is, if Joe does not finally just embrace the fact that presidents are immune AND he is leaving office, and send Alito, Thomas, and Kav on a "special indefinite vacation" as an inauguration present.)

I am not overconfident. I know this is unprecedented. I know we don't have much time, and how hard this will be. This is not 2016 or 2020, and we all have to do the work and not let up. But if the Handmaid's Tale party is literally now trying to make "Kamala doesn't have children because she's an Evul Feminist" into their main line of attack, all I say is, Please proceed, chucklefucks. I'm sure that will go great.

[tgcg]

part 3 of something specific

CG: SO YEAH, THERE’S NOTHING BLACK ABOUT HOW THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SET UP BEYOND PURE SUPERFICIALITY. THEIR RIVALRY IS TEXTUALLY POSITIVE BOTH TO THEM AND FOR THEM, BECAUSE IT LEADS TO THE DISCOVERY OF THEIR STRONGEST BONDS, WHICH ARE TO EACH OTHER. AS SOON AS SASUKE DISCOVERS HIS BROTHER’S RETURN, HIS IMMEDIATE CONCERN IS TO GO OUT OF HIS WAY AND FIND NARUTO TO ENSURE HIS SAFETY.

TG: (man how is karkats hair always the exact same amount of messy)

CG: SASUKE FINDS NARUTO ANNOYING, BUT SO DOES LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE IN HIS VICINITY! SO IT’S NOT LIKE THEY HAVE A UNIQUE BOND REGARDING ANY CONTEMPT FOR ONE ANOTHER.

TG: (its like hes got that shit down to a science)

CG: THEY DON’T HATE EACH OTHER DEEP DOWN! AND THAT’S THE CRUCIAL PART, THE ABSENTEE SUPPORT BEAM THAT PROMPTS THE FOUNDATIONS OF BLACKROM TO CRUMBLE IN ON THEMSELF. NO DAVE, THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS DEFINED BY EMPATHY AND COMPASSION.

TG: (professor sepulchritude were noticing a 0.6% decrease in the angle of elevation in the frontmost swoop)

CG: NARUTO KNOWS ALMOST FROM THE BEGINNING THAT ANY HATRED SASUKE HOLDS FOR THE WORLD ISN’T DIRECTED AT HIM WHATSOEVER. HE DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGES THIS WITHIN THE TEXT!

TG: (unacceptable doctor dicktopus, apply several degrees worth of emotional turmoil and see to it that the issue is ass blasted to oblivion)

TG: (fuck yes sir)

CG: SASUKE SAYS HIMSELF THAT HE FINDS SAKURA REALLY ANNOYING, AND SAKURA IS IN TURN MOST ANNOYED BY NARUTO.

CG: AGAIN, SQUANDERED POTENTIAL. FUCK THAT.

TG: (is it natural or premeditated is some kind of product involved)

TG: (did alternia have fucked up guerilla combs designed to mangle your hair just right)

CG: … DAVE?

TG: (actually hell nah i couldnt see him doing that in a billion shitty troll sweeps)

CG: METEOR TO FUCKING DAVE?

TG: (no doubt he just rocks up like that)

TG: (man looks the same every day)

CG: DAVE!

TG: (shit abort)

CG: GOD DAMNIT. YOU AREN’T LISTENING ARE YOU? YOU’RE DOING THAT THING AGAIN WHERE YOUR LIPS START MOVING WHILE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF TELLING YOU SOMETHING! JEGUS, AT LEAST HAVE THE BASIC TROLLIAN DECENCY TO INTERRUPT ME WITH CONVICTION IF YOU'RE GOING TO HUMOUR AN EXCHANGE IN CULTURE, YOU ABSOLUTE TOOL.

CG: DID YOU EVEN GET A WORD OF WHAT I SAID?

CG: WELL YOU’RE THE ONE WHO ASKED, CHUCKLEFUCK! SO--

TG: yeah theyre just quivering in tearful delight at self recognition through the other dude

TG: if not for these sick shades youd be moved to shit by the glistening eyejuice gathering in these peepholes

TG: fit to burst but i remain static in the face of euphoria

TG: im protecting your ass such as a knight is pretty much wont to do

CG: PFF, WHATEVER, “DUDE”.

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ scenarios | dating billy

♡ fandoms; The Boys

♡ characters; Billy Butcher

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; explicit sexual content

♡ notes; he’s the bane of my existence + love of my life tbh

reader isss implied to be working with Billy and in my mind a supe but i made it ambiguous since i didn’t write a meeting section :v but i love the idea of Billy falling for a supe so much

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

I. Kisses/ PDA

> he doesn’t like PDA…or at least that’s what he claims

> Frenchie and Marv give him shit- and Hughie is so supportive it makes him angrier than the others giving him shit

> but tbh they’re all happy to see him happy, and he knows that somewhere under that thick skull off his

> so when you give him a kiss or hold his hand or hug him in the base he grumbles, but he never pushes you away or actually complains

> and sometimes he’ll haphazardly pull you against him without saying a word, cheeks a bit pink as he mumbles something into your hair

> usually a ‘good job’ if it fits the occasion, otherwise a comment about how his coworkers are idiots

> now undercover, it’s a different story

> everyone is a potential threat then- and even worse, everyone is potentially going to bother you

> if he even gets a whiff of someone looking you over he’s got an arm around your waist and a hand not so subtly on his holster

> if you want to get any actual surveillance done you have to shoo him away so he doesn’t scare anyone off

> and even then he’s checking in way more often than he needs to

> it’s hard to get mad at, because it’s sweet in his stubborn, assholeish way

> and if you don’t care about surveillance it’s easy to get him riled by playing into it

> and then he’ll kiss you hard right in front of whatever chucklefuck was eying you

> “hope he’s enjoying the bleedin’ view”

> he’s a big cuddler when you’re alone- another thing he’d never admit

> but he loves when you snuggle up with your head on his chest, listening to his heart and nearly dozing while he goes through files

> or when you’re exhausted on the van ride home and make sure no one is paying attention as you hold with his hand in the front seat, rubbing his probably bloodied knuckles and pressing soft kisses them

> he likes your little late night rendezvous the best, though

> you’re both bad at sleeping, so most nights in the base he’ll find you in the kitchen near midnight brewing chai

> you’ll be sitting on the counter in one of his shirts and smile brightly despite the bags under your eyes

> and then when he comes over and puts a hand on either side of you, you trap him in your legs

> the kisses are sometimes heated, sometimes chaste

> but either way you enjoy the tea, and spend the rest of the restless night together

II. Sharing a bed

> when you’re all living in hiding, space is tight under the pawnshop

> you’ve both got shitty little twin beds, and he’s always complaining about space

> but the nights are getting cold and the heater barely works, so you hatch your evil scheme

> evil scheme might get giving it too much credit. like way too much

> all you plan on is asking to snuggle and never leaving his bed

> but he’s taking forever to get whatever he’s doing done, and you’re tired

> no biggie, you’ll just crawl in and wait for him so you can ask

> the next thing you know it’s two a.m. and he’s nudging you

> “oi. who said you could be in here?”

> you whine and give him the biggest pout, eyes all hazy from sleep

> and not wearing all that much either

> he sighs but you can hear the smile in his voice “c’mon then love.”

> before you can scooch over he’s pulling you on top of him completely, making you feel tiny on his broad chest

> he tried not to seem too delighted when you’re there again the next night

III. Let’s get kinky

> listen. i swear i don’t think every character has a daddy kink. just all the ones i’m super attached to

> but he canonically referred to himself as daddy and that’s not leaving my brain anytime soon. so.

> he refers to you as so many sweet nicknames- and he likes to pair them with a healthy mix of degradation and praise

> “you’re a filthy fuckin’ whore aren’t yah sweetheart?”

> his default is rough. he’s a frustrated man, and he’s been pent up for a while now

> but you can take it. probably.

> he likes choking. and spanking, he loves when you’re a brat and he can bend you over his knee

> mostly because then he can finger fuck you right then and there when he’s done and make you a complete mess

> if you wear makeup he thinks it’s twice as nice with your lipstick smudged and mascara running down your cheeks

> and you look prettiest to him on your knees, already a bit teary and sucking on his fingers until you’ve earned the real thing

> he wants to breed you so bad it makes him look stupid. (tbh not literally, even if it is possible, but god the dirty talk is so good that it doesn’t matter)

> his favorite position is reverse cowgirl- he loves seeing you whine and slowly ease yourself onto him

> and to me- he’s an ass man lmao, he loves watching it as you bounce on his cock