#listen book Geralt is my baby

[dancingwiththefae]

It’s kinda sad that Geralt’s intelligence is often so overlooked. Geralt who speaks multiple languages. Geralt who understands maths and can call out when someone is trying to rip him off. Geralt who attended some classes at oxenfurt. Geralt who considered becoming a sorcerer. Geralt who reads and philosophises, who always thinks deeply. Geralt is smart and competent and so much more than the people around him would ever give him credit for

[bomberqueen17]

liveblogging the aubreyad 1: Master & Commander

ok so. i'm going to liveblog my reread of the Patrick O'Brian Jack Aubrey series of books, in potentially more or less detail, because it's something to do and it's funny. Starting with book 1, Master & Commander, copyright date 1969, which I definitely first read in like 1991 when I was waaaaay too young to understand approximately half the references. There will be spoilers. There may or may not be an accurate representation of the entire contents of the series. We'll see how long I keep this up. I wish I could write it in the entertaining style of my Wee Precious Flower Prince Geralt Witcher 3 playthroughs of yore but those were written under 1) quarantine confinement, 2) incredible amounts of gin, 3) after collaborative sessions, and I just can't make that happen solo.

But I will do my poor, reduced, older and more sedate best. I promise that while these books are not quite as dramatically crack-addled as Witcher 3, they are weirder than you think, which is critical.

OK so. We start off swinging with the meet-ugly. In fair Port Mahon we lay our scene, in the year 1800 (or 1801?? we also start off swinging with never quite having the tiny details quite laid down), we meet our fair hero Jack Aubrey, a six-foot, well-built, yellow-haired lieutenant in the Royal Navy, a cheerful high-spirited cove who immediately pisses off the unpleasant little man sitting next to him at this chamber music concert by singing along to the music. Relatable reaction by the unpleasant little man, to be sure. Aubrey is having a bad time, though— he has not been promoted and he doesn’t have a ship so he has nothing to do but get in trouble, and his spirits are too low to get into a fight with the unpleasant little man, though he briefly considers it. We soon find out that the sole bright spot in Jack's life is that he's fucking his boss’s wife, which seems like a bad idea but who are we to judge. But lo! He gets back to the inn where he’s staying only to find a letter informing him that he has been promoted! He is now the master and commander of his very own ship, which we are informed is a sloop. Also throwing us into the deep end of Listen Baby It’s Just Vibes. The nautical language and technical shit comes fast and thick and if you just sort of roll with it you figure it out. Don’t Worry About It. There Will Be Context Clues.

Now that Jack is professionally fulfilled he is happy, and so the next morning when he happens to see his unpleasant little man from the previous night, he shows his true colors: he immediately bounds across the street and wholeheartedly, unreservedly apologizes for being a dipshit, like the golden retriever he really is at heart. The unpleasant little man is so shocked by this that he loses all his unpleasantness, has a really nice conversation with Jack, and immediately gets distracted by the sighting of a rare bird. Stephen Maturin is now successfully introduced, exactly as he means to go on as well. He is a physician, but his patient died and he's stuck without money to get home, literally sleeping rough because no one will answer his letters and he's out of cash. Jack meanwhile has a ship with no surgeon on it, and a vacancy, and they like one another, so it seems a simple solution. And so Stephen shall go to sea.

I suppose, really, that’s the genius of this series. The characters are round, complicated creatures, with obvious and consistent surface qualities but also equally consistent, apparently-contradictory, deeper qualities. Even minor characters sometimes possess this level of depth. Even the cartoony-awful little shit Harte (sometime captain, then admiral, the boss whose wife Jack has been fucking but in Jack's defense so is everybody else) has depths. Unpleasant depths, but he's got reasons and motivations and you do really believe in him; this pays off in book 8 in particular.

We meet Jack's first command, the Sophie, the loveliest tiniest little ship ever, staffed by a pack of utter weirdos. TOM PULLINGS makes his first appearance (he is my favorite supporting character throughout the series, so he will be capitalized henceforth) along with his delightful henchman (the other senior midshipman) Mowett who is James in his first and last appearances and most of the others but for some reason becomes William for a while in the middle, most notably in book 8, and has thus passed into the movie as William. Those are our master's mates, or senior midshipmen. In O'Brian's typical fashion we don't get really concrete physical descriptions of them in the normal sense, but instead get really evocative but nonspecific ones. TOM PULLINGS is "a big shy master's mate", elsewhere specified to be sort of gangly, long and thin, young, with a country accent and foremast-jack antecedents (i.e. started out as a regular sailor and was promoted, instead of the more normal approach where a family of means sends a son to sea as a midshipman), who absolutely blossoms under Jack Aubrey's leadership-by-enthusiastic-example, and we will see him through most of the rest of the series continuing on this trajectory with great competence and charming humbleness.

James Mowett gets a great introduction. He's had a few lines prior to this, mostly repetitively described as (and shown to be) cheerful and generally enthusiastic about things, running around and getting to be the one to fetch Stephen from the shore, and later we find out that he is a prolific writer of somewhat-terrible poetry, which we'll get plenty of excerpts of over the course of the series. But his first real description is:

“James Mowett was a tubular young man, getting on for twenty; he was dressed in old sailcoth trousers and a striped Guernsey shirt, a knitted garment that gave him very much the look of a caterpillar."

There are also the youngsters. Meet my beloved son William Babbington, a miniature midshipman of between eleven and thirteen who has every venereal disease and gets drunk a lot. He also cries and swears a whole lot, mostly while sober. I love him immoderately and we will see him in several more of the books. He never gets much taller or less obsessed with womanizing. Adolescence was hard in the Georgian era. (Yes, this is the Georgian era; the Victorian era does not begin for another thirty years.)

“'I suppose you grow used to living here,' [Stephen] observed, rising cautiously to his feet. 'At first it must seem a little confined.' 'Oh, sir,' said Mowett, 'think not meanly of this humble seat, Whence spring the guardians 'of the British fleet! Revere the sacred spot, however low, Which formed to martial acts an Hawke! An Howe !' 'Pay no attention to him, sir,' cried Babbington, anxiously. 'He means no disrespect, I do assure you, sir. It is only his disgusting way.”

Throughout this series, O'Brian so so so vividly shows and describes the many phases of awkwardness that young men go through especially in military settings. It's incredibly vivid; the breaking voices, the smells, the idiotic capers, the weeping, the complete lack of foresight, the incredible cruelty and also loyalty and bravery, the sheer adolescent enthusiasm coupled with shocking laziness.

We also get some insight into contemporary social mores through the introduction of Marshall, the sailing master (a warrant officer)-- 1) he's gay and 2) Jack Aubrey is extremely his type. Different people's different attitudes toward this unspool throughout various points of the book, but the critical point is that Jack Aubrey himself has absolutely zero gaydar and while he has heard the rumor about Marshall's tendencies, he doesn't care about that stuff, studiously avoids enforcing any of the regulations against it, and he absolutely never at any point relates this to himself, and never ever realizes why the man is so driven to excel at his job. Not even when an injury to his head and face gives Jack a horrible haircut and worse appearance, and Marshall is horrified and dispirited about it; Jack never twigs just what's amiss.

To be fair to Jack, many many many of the men aboard also respond to him in a similar, though crucially different, way. This is a common thing in this kind of cooped-up little setting; you have a guy who's in charge and gives you positive feedback and like, immediately you'll die for that guy, which is kind of how the military works because you may in fact have to literally die for that guy and it's easier if you're intrinsically motivated in some way. And Jack is very, very good at this in most cases, at taking the measure of the people under his command and getting them to respond to him.

(We can return to Mowett for an explicit example: “'You may light up the sloop, Mr Mowett, and show her our force: I don't want her to do anything foolish, such as firing a gun - perhaps hurting some of our people. Let me know when you have laid her aboard.' With this [Jack] retired, calling for a light and something hot to drink; and from his cabin he heard Mowett's voice, cracked and squeaking with the excitement of this prodigious command (he would happily have died for Jack), as under his orders the Sophie bore up and spread her wings.”)

Anyway so back to the plot summary: a very good side plot throughout is that the ship's first lieutenant, James Dillon, is an Irishman, and he and Stephen Maturin were both involved in the Irish rebellion in 1798. When they meet, James recognizes Stephen, and cautiously sounds him out about having met before, and Stephen very coolly replies we've never met but you must be thinking of my cousin who looks just like me but uglier, *so* ugly, he has the face of an informer, and everyone hates an informer and james is like Ah. You Are Absolutely Correct Sir We Have Never Met. This subplot develops into a delicious meditation on divided loyalties and the agony of staying true to oneself while doing what one must do. Highly recommended, A++. Begins to give us some insight into the various depths of Stephen, who doesn't understand tides or wind and hasn't the sense to come in out of the rain but has a deep and complicated history and identity and above all an incredible capacity for ruthlessness, absolutely none of which Jack understands.

Stephen and James in dialogue when they're finally in privacy enough to discuss it (Stephen is the first speaker, James the second):

“I speak only for myself, mind - it is my own truth alone - but man as part of a movement or a crowd is indifferent to me. He is inhuman. And I have nothing to do with nations, or nationalism. The only feelings I have -for what they are - are for men as individuals; my loyalties, such as they may be, are to private persons alone.'' "Patriotism will not do?'' "My dear creature, I have done with all debate. But you know as well as I, patriotism is a word; and one that generally comes to mean either my country, right or wrong, which is infamous, or my country is always right, which is imbecile." ''Yet you stopped Captain Aubrey playing Croppies Lie Down the other day.” "Oh, I am not consistent, of course; particularly in little things. Who is? He did not know the meaning of the tune, you know. He has never been in Ireland at all, and he was in the West Indies at the time of the rising. [...] But as for that song, I acted as I did partly because it is disagreeable to me to listen to it and partly because there were several Irish sailors within hearing, and not one of them an Orangeman; and it would be a pity to have them hate him when nothing in the manner of insult was within his mind's reach.”

uhhhhhhh but meanwhile: Jack Aubrey and the Sophies wreak havoc in the Mediterranean and make a lot of money and enemies, to the point that the local merchants band together to commission a fairly serious ship expressly to fuck them up. They meet this ship unsuspectingly, manage just in time to disguise themselves, and Stephen hails the ship and asks them in bad Spanish if they know anything about treating the plague, could they send a doctor over, could they spare any medicine. This scares them off and they go away. But now the Sophies know what this ship looks like and what armament it has. So the next time they meet it, they fight it, and so the tiny 14-gun Sophie with 82 men and boys aboard manages to capture the 32-gun Cacafuego with 319 men aboard, and it's very gallant and dashing and probably should not have worked, but it does.

And a little later, the Sophie accidentally meets a pair of very powerful French ships and gets taken in return despite doing some really heroic evasive manoevers.

The French are super nice to them, and we meet a French ship captain named Christy-Palliere who becomes a recurring character, who has English cousins and speaks great English and is both charming and nice, saying things like gather ye rose pods while ye may and being generally gallant. Until some even more powerful English ships heave into view, and the tables turn, but even then Christy-Palliere remains gallant and well-behaved.

We end the book with the court-martial. Any officer who loses his ship for any reason has to go before a court of sea captains to ascertain whether he did everything in his power to avoid losing his ship. So all the officers of the Sophie, including the midshipmen, including the surgeon, have to testify about this. (I feel like the other warrant officers should also have had to testify? but they weren't there and i'm not sure why. TOM PULLINGS is also not mentioned in the scene which he absolutely should be present for, so it's possible that they were just omitted for time.)

“They had each received an official notification the day before, and for some reason each had brought it with him, folded or rolled. After a while Babbington and Ricketts took to changing all the words they could into obscenities, secretly in a corner, while Mowett wrote and scratched out on the back of his, counting syllables on his fingers and silently mouthing. Lucock stared straight ahead of him into vacancy.”

Spoiler: the jury decides that there's not really anything more a 14-gun sloop could have done against two French ships of the line, so they exonerate Captain Aubrey for the loss of his sloop, and thus ends the book.

[wraithofmorhogg]

No Mistle but you like Avallac'h

Probably because Avallac'h isn't a rapist. Unlike Mistle and Kayleigh, but thanks for letting me know that you were so butthurt by my personal opinion that you had to go scrolling through my blog to look for something to get angry over. I don't care if you ship Mistle and Ciri. You can go on your marry shipping way. I am literally not stopping you from doing that by posting my own opinion on my own blog. Properly tagged as anti-Mistle and all. Tumblr has made it MUCH easier to blacklist tags you don't like than it was back in the day. I suggest you do that. And before you go 'blah, blah blah forced baby blah blah' that was Auberon that wanted that baby. The king of the elves whose word is law. We are never really made aware of Avallac'h's wants or intentions one way or another. We do know however that his first action in the book is to help Geralt save his friends. He didn't HAVE to do that. He had all the reason in the world to hate humans and yet he helped Geralt's party. He was always patient, kind and considerate with Ciri... and you know... didn't rape her. Unlike Mistle. So... let's deep dive using my favorite tool... quotes directly from the book. Shall we?

First things first... Avallac'h chides her for being a brat. She's going around smashing things like a little kid. She's clearly embarrassed when he does this... so what does he do then? He 'quickly' makes an effort to comfort her. He didn't need to do that.

Again, he's blowing off the fact she broke priceless elven artifacts, so she won't feel bad. He is being considerate of her feelings. He's even 'lowered' himself by using continent Hen Ilinge instead of Ellylon. He didn't have to do that.

Avallac'h even defends her against Eredin. He didn't have to do that.

When Ciri is troubled that the King wouldn't sleep with her she runs right to Avallac'h. She clearly trusts him enough to come to him first with her problems every time. He patiently listens to her, but we can also tell something is bothering him. Maybe he doesn't like she has to do this. Maybe he's afraid he'll have to use the lab. We'll never know. But what do we know? He didn't have to hear her out or listen to her problems. He didn't have to do that.

This is the first time we actually see something other than stoic Avallac'h. 'Beware you don't know what you're risking' it isn't a threat. He's worried.

Here Ciri said really hurtful things to him if you know how much he really, truly seemed to love Lara. Even though Lara betrayed him. What does he do? Instantly forgives her and hugs her... telling her he's already forgotten it. He didn't have to do that. I would wager that for some reason... Avallac'h does care for her otherwise he wouldn't have done all these things.

Here for reference is Auberon threatening Ciri and being a total dickwad. Here we discover why Avallac'h was so keen to make sure she didn't piss off the king. Auberson doesn't just not care for humans he outright hates them and as seen later slaughtered them all. Although to be entirely fair in this regard we don't know the reason for that. Perhaps in retaliation for Lara his daughter. Yea, you read that right. Lara was his daughter so that makes Ciri his.... yeah, ew.

After her fight with Auberon Avallac'h mysteriously disappeared. Hmmm... why, oh why could that be? He's been there every other time...

Eredin is genuinely surprised so it couldn't have been him. Perhaps Avallac'h poisoned the king to protect Ciri.

Even Eredin who hates Avallac'h admits that Avallac'h has a certain code of honor.

And bonus! Avallac'h mentions helping humans/helps Geralt to save his friends. He really is a softy under it all. Now compare that to my other ask with lines with Mistle... well... the choice is obvious LINK HERE Hence... my preference. The end. Good day to you anon. Va fáill

[louiswilliamtomlinsons]

i was tagged by @binickmiller and @cirilla-geralt, thank you!!! 💜💜💜

rules: bold the ones that are true and tag 15 people to do it

APPEARANCE

i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blonde hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair // i have gotten plastic surgery // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS

i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim // i enjoy writing // i can do origami // i prefer movies to tv shows // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year // i enjoy spending time with friends // i travel during school or work breaks // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP

i am in a relationship // i have been single for over a year // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS

i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise // i enjoy rainy days // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean // i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS

i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle // i am the mom friend // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead // i own at least three dogs

tagging (no pressure!!!): @romanroygirlie @nicholas-nelsons @tommos @stonerosestank @pop-punklouis @sugar-baby-bear @harrylights @akkpipitphattana @holdingontoheartache @backmygirlhood @uwulouis @toxiclarrie @famefucker @hauntedhousetv @wecantalktomorrow

[slumberingcorpse]

The Wolf and The Fox

Part 11 “Destiny in the Palm of Your Hands”

Summary: Eskel claims he can tell their futures by reading his brother’s palms.

Geralt grins devilishly as he places his last card on the floor.

“You whoreson! You cheated!” Lambert shouts, his freckled cheeks turning bright red as he slams his hands down on the table.

Geralt scoffs, “As if! You suck so much at Gwent I don’t need to cheat!”

Lambert growls and flashes his tiny fangs only causing his older brother to growl back flashing his much bigger ones, “Careful now, Lambert, unlike yours, mine can bite. And I tend to bite hard.”

“Could you two quit it already? I’m trying to read,” Eskel huffs from the other side of the table as he flips through the ancient pages of a book while looking down at his palm.

“Well, why don’t you join us then? I’m getting tired of beating Lambert all the time,” Geralt suggests.

“That’s not true! I beat you before!” Lambert corrects causing his older brother to roll his eyes, “Yeah, that one time when I let you beat me.”

“Lies!” Lambert denies. Angry tears started to well up in his cat eyes.

“Geralt...” Eskel warns.

“What!? I’m not doing anything!”

Eskel shakes his head in disappointment before patting the empty seat next to him, “Come, Lambert. Don’t listen to him.”

Lambert sniffles and wipes his ways his tears before rushing over to his oldest brother’s side while Geralt rolls his eyes and walks over, “You’re spoiling him too much. Just like Vesemir.”

“A bit of spoiling never hurt anybody,” Eskel argues as he pets his baby brother’s head.

“Yeah, right. Mark my words once he’s older he’ll be nothing but a spoiled prick,” Geralt shoots back gaining a glare from young Lambert who just scooted closer to Eskel’s side.

The white-haired pup rolls his eyes and sits down across from his brothers, “What are you reading anyway? Looks old as hell. Where did you even find it?”

“In the library. I was helping Vesemir organize it yesterday and it caught my eye. It’s about fortune-telling!” Eskel explains.

Geralt scoffs, “Fortune telling? What a load of shit! There’s no such thing! Just like destiny! There is no possible way to know what the future holds or what choices you will make.”

Eskel shrugs, “Maybe so, maybe not. Still sounds fun though.” he smiles before turning to Lambert, “Show me your palm. Let me read your future.” he says dramatically.

Lambert hesitates for a moment but shows him his palm. Eskel gently takes it and looks at it for a few moments before speaking again, “Looks like you’re going to live for a long time Lamb. However, your life will be long and hard. Even so, it seems like you won’t have to do it alone...”

“What does that mean?” Lambert asks believing every word only for Eskel to sheepishly smile, “Looks like you have a lover waiting for you out there.”

The small pup’s eyes widen, “Really!? Are they going to be pretty!? Will we get married? Have children!?” he asks excitedly.

Eskel shrugs, “No idea, but from your palm, it says that you won’t have any children.”

“Yeah, dumbass, we can’t have kids.” Geralt jeers only for Lambert to stick his tongue out at him.

“You turn Geralt, let me read your palm!” Eskel grins mischievously.

“No.” Geralt bluntly says.

“Oh come on! It’ll be fun!”

“It’s stupid!”

“Leave him be Eskel. He just scared!” Lambert mocks gaining a glare from Geralt.

“Fine.” Geralt huffs before holding out his palm. Eskel chuckles and leans over to read his palm, “You’ll have a long life. A life filled with adventure and hardships and-” He starts before suddenly stopping.

“What?” Geralt and Lambert ask in unison.

“W-well it seems that...you have three loves waiting for you...and one child!” Eskel says shocked.

“What!?” Lambert questions in enraged while Geralt laughs hysterically, “Awe what’s wrong Lambert? At least one person will be stupid enough to love you.” He teases.

“Shut up! I bet mine will be better than all of yours!” Lambert shouts.

“Oh come on, do you believe in this? It’s not real! I mean me having a child? It’ll never happen.” Geralt says causing Lambert to frown and look down at his pale palm, “B-but...” he starts but doesn’t finish feeling heartbroken at the idea that there was no love waiting for him after all.

Eskel glares at Geralt and yanks at his ear causing him to yelp, “Stop picking on him!”

“I’m not! It’s just telling him the truth! He was going to find out that it’s not true sooner or later!” Geralt huffs.

“What’s all this fighting about now? I was only gone for a few minutes and yet you two have already made Lambert cry.” Vesemir asks walking over.

“Geralt keeps picking on him!” Eskel snitches.

“I was only telling him the truth! Fortune telling is bullshit!” Geralt defends.

“Fortune telling?” Vesemir questions.

Eskel nods and shows him the book, “I was reading their palms.”

“Ah, I remember doing that when I was younger with my brothers.” He says joining them at the table.

“Really? W-what did your fortune say?” Lambert sniffles.

Vesemir smiles softly, “That I would live much longer than my brothers and lead a life full of responsibility and I would have three children.”

The pup’s eyes widen upon hearing the fortune. Even Geralt couldn’t just find a way to poke holes in it right away.

“Destiny is not something you can laugh at, boys. It is something that will follow us no matter what we do.” Vesemir lectures.

“Does this mean that someone is waiting for me?” Lambert asks.

Vesemir chuckles and pets his head, “Of course, pup.”

<- Previous Part

@Tags: @wrongdodo @yeeterboi420 @lucien-viktor

A/N: Sorry for not updating for so long. I got really depressed. I’m okay though. I hope you guys enjoy. I’ll try to write more.

[highlordofkrypton]

GERALT TRULY IS THE MOST BABYGIRL TO BABY GIRL 💅

I have to admit that I am not normal about Eskel and there is not enough content about him, he's just... he ticks all my boxes and massages my brain in a way that I'm dssjdfgsjkdfg 😭😭😭 I can explain it, but it's very embarassing and will get rambly.

I ALSO LOVE CIRI OFC MY DARLING!! Tbh, I love everyone. One of my OTPs is Lambert x Gojo Satoru or Lambert x Clark Kent (or mix 'em all up)!

I love both the books and the games, but have finished neither. I'm a chronic not finisher of things, but I got so deep in lore exploration and my bestest friends are fans, so they told me the story while I listened with absolute focus like a child sitting around the campfire for story time! I love that world so damn much, I need to show u my lil Witcher cubby in my library!

For the show, I love Henry Cavill and will thirst watch anything with him but ANYA MY GOOOOOD ANYA!!! BLESS THE SHOW FOR GIVING US ANYA AUGHHHHHHHHH

PART OF ME WANTS TO SAY BEAR BC THEY SEEM MOST CHILL, ALSO I WANT GERD TO PICK ME UP AND TOTE ME AROUND. Cat is definitely bad boy, but there's a special place in my heart for Viper like I have SO much fun making up headcanons for Viper and what not.

WHOMST IS YOUR FAVOURITE WITCHER?

And do you prefer the games, the books or the show more?

Also which is your favourite school BARRING the Wolf school? 🤔

I love old man Geralt, the most baby girl to exist, but also Eskel has a special place in my heart - but if we are talking the game, Ciri, hands down!

The games I like best for their visual nature, the books for the world building and just prime soggy wet cat Geralt and the Yenralt of it all, and the show ... Thank you, Anya Chalotra, for your service. 🙏

Cat has that roguish, bad boy appeal and armor that looks the most comfy!

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon - Trouble Bonus Scene - Part 5

Yennefer let a few days go by before she ever set foot in the Kaer Morhen library. Geralt knew what she was doing, but he was loath to call her out on it. She was finally getting to be what she'd given up when she'd chosen Chaos over a normal life: a mother.

Geralt could see her becoming more and more frustrated and discouraged as the days turned into weeks.

Geralt's Witcher family helped as much as they could, going through the books when Yennefer grew too tired, or when Jaskier couldn't be distracted from her absence.

They took turns taking care of the little bard, and Yennefer often smiled at how easily they had settled into their new roles of Uncles and Grandpa. They played with him, fed him, protected him...loved him.

But it couldn't go on like this. It wasn't fair to Jaskier, and even Yennefer admitted it to Geralt. It was difficult, though, because Jaskier would cry for her if she was gone too long. It made it hard to concentrate and keep track of where she was in her research.

"I wish I could just ask him what happened!" Yennefer sighed as she spooned some eggs into Jaskier's mouth. "It would make this so much easier."

Geralt was quiet for a moment, then asked, "Why don't you just read his mind?" Yennefer thought about it, and adjusted Jaskier on her lap, turning him to cradle him in her arms. "Be still, sweetling," she said brushing her fingers through his hair.

She shook her head after a few moments and sat the toddler back up. "Ugh, it's not working. He's a baby. His thoughts are mostly about tits and getting what he wants."

"Doesn't sound much different than what he normally thinks about."

"Oh, hush!" Yennefer said, laughing in spite of herself.

"We'll figure it out." Geralt promised, leaning in to give her a kiss. "Let's take Jaskier outside to play in the snow for a bit."

Yennefer agreed and they went off to invite the other Witchers. Eskel and Coen were the first to be found and Eskel was ecstatic when Jaskier finally tried to say his name. The toddler spotted him and called "Es! Es!"

He'd started trying to talk more, and the Witchers had lost their sh*t night he'd said 'bubble'.

They'd been down in the hotsprings, letting the little bard play in the shallowest pool. They were making soap bubbles with their hands, half to entertain Jaskier, and half to see who could make the biggest one.

Coen had made a huge one, and Lambert had said "That's a f***ing big bubble!"

Jaskier had watched the massive wonder of air and soap drift off, then said in a questioning tone "Ba-bol?"

Yennefer had gotten quite an eyeful when five wet, very naked Witchers had burst into the lab with a confused looking naked toddler, and shouted excitedly "He said 'bubble'!"

Eskel scooped Jaskier out of Yennefer's arms, smiling so big. "Hey! You did it, Baby Bird! But you're missing the rest of it. Say 'Eskel'"

Jaskier looked at him thoughtfully.

"Es...?"

"Eskel."

"Esol!"

"That's close enough, I guess," Eskel said, with a smile. Geralt, Yennefer and Coen were snickering. Coen muttered "Sounds like he's saying 'ar*ehole!"

"Okay, 'Cone'!" Eskel countered, reminding Coen of how Jaskier pronounced his name "Come on, Baby, Bird, let's go find Uncle F**k!"

They strode through the halls, Jaskier calling out "F**k!" as they seached for Lambert.

"Hey, Lambchop, listen to this!" Eskel said excitedly when they found Lambert and Aiden "Julek, what's my name?"

"Esol!"

"Ha!" Lambert said smugly triumphant, "Looks like you're Uncle A**hole!"

"Still better than Uncle F**k!" Aiden chimed in.

"F...push off, Aiden!"

Jaskier was bundled up and a few minutes later, Yennefer was setting him down in the snow. He squealed excitedly took a few wobbly steps, then fell face first into the powdery fluff. There was a collective gasp from the adults present, and Geralt quickly stood him back up.

Jaskier's entire front was covered in snow, and for a few seconds, he was quiet. He just stood there, blinking the snow out of his eyes, then he started wailing. He looked at Geralt held his hands out, palms facing up, then flipped them to palms facing down. He continued to cry and make the gesture, little arms trembling. Geralt tried not to laugh as he recognized the clumsy sign.

(Don't want, don't want, don't want!)

Geralt rumbled a quiet laugh and brushed the snow off him. "It's okay."

"Look, Julek!" Yennefer said, scooping up a handful. "It's fun! See?" She packed it into a ball and hurled it at Eskel. The Witcher yelped in surprise.

Jaskier thought about it for a moment, then scooped up a little handful and slowly smashed it into Geralt's face while Yennefer laughed. He giggled delightedly and buried his hands in the snow, then started enthusiastically flinging it in the air.

Vesemir came out later, and found an army of snowmen, two ruined snow forts, and six grown a** Witchers lying in the snow, trying to show a toddler how to make snow angels and arguing over who was doing it better.

They came back inside to get warm, sitting at the table closest to the fireplace, passing Jaskier from lap to lap while they ate lunch.

Yennefer sat in the kitchen, looking through some of the lore books while she listened to the pack of Witchers try to keep up with the energetic toddler.

How did he get up there?!

Someone grab him, he's got a fork!

Tell me that's ale someone spilled on the floor!

He sneezed in my mouth! He sneezed in my mouth!!!

F**k, he just ran into the Armory! Noooo, don't touch those-! *crashing sound followed by giggling*

Why are you naked???

Oh, d*mn, he fell! Nobody look at him so he won't cry! Don't look at him!

Is that...a dead lizard?! Where the h*ll did he find that? It's all dried up! How long has it been laying there? NoOo, DoN't eAt iT!!!!

The reign of terror ended when Jaskeir took his afternoon nap, cradled in Grandpa Vesemir's arms while the old Wolf sat in his chair by the fire, humming contentedly in a raspy rumble.

It turned out that Yennefer didn't have to worry about breaking the curse. Jaskier woke up cranky from his nap, and he became fussier that evening. He was clingy and would only allow Yennefer or Geralt to hold him.

Yennefer thought that maybe he was overtired from playing in the snow earlier. He seemed to be over stimulated, so she took him off to their room, with Geralt at her heels, for some quiet time. Jaskier flat out screamed when Yennefer put him down to pull back the blankets and furs on the bed.

He screeched and toddled over to the bed. The furs were apparently not soft enough for him, because he swatted them and sat himself down hard on the floor, kicking his pudgy little legs and shrieking angrily.

He started tugging at his clothes and making little growly noises before falling over sideways dramatically with a wail. He flopped on to his back and laid there, screaming at the sky, his little world in flaming ruins.

"Dramatic as always." Yennefer huffed with a grin as she gathered him up, "Here, now, lamb," She stipped him out of his clothes, leaving him in just his diaper, and he finally fell asleep on her chest, with Geralt's hand resting lightly on his back.

Yennefer opened her eyes when she bacame aware of a heavy weight on her chest. Jaskier was lying half on top of her, head on her shoulder, and back to normal. She slowly put her arms around him, resting one hand on the back of his head. Jaskier mumbled in his sleep "M-ma..." and Yennefer felt her eyes fill with tears from an odd mix of relief and...loss. Her breath hitched as she bit back a sob and Jaskier woke with a confused grunt.

He sat up, wrapping the blankets around himself while he tried to make sense of what was going on. What had happened last night? Had he been drinking? He didn't feel like he had a hangover. Why was he naked? Why was he naked, lying half on top of Yen? Why was she crying? Was that regret in her eyes? Oh...OH F**K! Did he get drunk and just...? With Yen?? She was crying! Oh, no... had he...?

Jaskier felt sick to his stomach. He felt the blood drain from his face and he broke out in a cold sweat as the nausea hit. He was vaguely aware of concerned voices, a hand on his back, tightness in his throat. He started feeling light-headed. Gods, what had he done to Yen???

Geralt was going to murder him-! Wait...Geralt's here too??? What in the 9th circle of h*ll...? Hold on... Yen and Geralt had clothes on! Okay...wait a minute. He wasn't naked...but... Was that a-a diaper?! What kind of kinky sh*t-!? How drunk had he gotten???

All Jaskier could manage to say was a weak "What the f**k?"

"I have half a mind to turn you over my knee and thrash your stupid a**!" Yennefer said as she threw her arms around him.

Then Jaskier remembered. Soft edged memories filtered in. Of Yen and Geralt. Of gentle hands and soft voices. Oh, yeah...

Things were a little awkward for the rest of the winter. Jaskier did eventually stop calling Lambert 'F**k', every time he saw him, and calling Yennefer and Geralt 'Ma' and 'Da' on accident. And Yennefer did finally stop calling him 'lamb'. Eskel continued to call him Baby Bird, just to be an a**. But he never did figure out what the big deal was about his spoon...

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

The more I’m reading the books, playing the games, and watching the series (both the old and the Netflix one), I’m becoming more and more sure that no one in the Witcher is actually straight nor monogamous.

To elaborate, as prime 4 examples, you have your:

Local slut™️: Geralt in his natural habitat; fucked legions of women (in each media) and OH MY GOD HIS IN-BOOK DIALOGUE WITH JASKIER??? AND OTHER MEN??? HELLO??? EVEN IN SERIES 2 GERALT IS EYEING JASKIER IN THE POND LIKE: 👀. Go ahead and pull out your weak "but it happened over several years, smh" excuse. I'm ready for a fight.

Theater queer™️: Jaskier is all over the fucking place, being the chaotic bi disaster I am in real life. It was also pointed out by Joey that he genuinely falls in love with whoever is in front of him; so it doesn’t really matter if it’s Yennefer, Geralt, a peasant, an innkeeper's daughter, or any of the witchers; he’ll go 😍. And, he also fucked legions of women (both married and single) in each media he made an appearance in. He even TELLS Geralt in The Sword of Destiny that he has multiple mistresses and fiances all over the Continent. Wagwan my dude, what's good my g? A manwhore.

Dark emo edgy witch™️: Aight listen, we saw Yen flirting and being actively attracted to/in love (call it what you will) with random people throughout the series itself - book counterpart is all over Istredd in the 'Shard of Ice' short story and openly tells Geralt she been fucking him the entire time they resided in Aedd Gynvael. AND SHE JUST FUCKING GOES HEHEHE 😈 WHEN THE YOUNG ARETHUSA STUDENT TELLS HER “Gods, you’re pretty”, major overall bi/queer vibes, 10/10.

Elven child that goes AAAAAaaA™️: MY GOLDEN BABY. Ciri is a designed queer mess wherever she is, let it be in games, books or series. GO, MY TOMBOY QUEEN, KICK ALL THEM WITCHER ASSES. Openly bisexual queen, we stan those.

To conclude this TedX talk... Andrzej, buddy, listen - I, as a Slav myself, know that we’re all about sex and homo (from a personal experience, more than 75% women I know had a homoerotic relationship, including my mom, her friends and my GRANDMA and more 30% men are likely to say that they have some kind of homoerotic experience - no fucking cap) but BUDDY: WE’RE NOT THAT DOWN BAD, YOU DID US DIRTY DAWG.

[queenxxxsupreme]

The way I'd sell my kidney to read about dad! Geralt building a cradle/crib!!! 😣🤞

Requesting that pretty please!

A/N: I hope you like this babe!

***

“Hmm.”

You listened as the witcher made small noises underneath his breath. His brows were furrowed together as he stared at the long piece of wood stretched across the table.

Your attention was taken from the book in your hands and instead, you found yourself watching Geralt.

He turned the wood over once, then twice, examining both surfaces of the walnut carefully.

“Hmm.”

“What is it, darling?” You asked him.

He shook his head. He placed the wood down and moved across the room to the small pile of wood that rested near the door to the bedroom.

“Perhaps you should have someone come help you. Vesemir is rather handy.”

“I can do it just fine.”

“I don’t doubt your abilities, love. I just…. I’d like to make sure our child’s bed won’t collapse when they are trying to sleep.” You absentmindedly rubbed the side of your stomach.

“It won’t collapse. I’ve built things before.”

“Oh, I know.” Your eyes drifted around the room until you found the chest sitting on the opposite side of the room. That very chest was one that Lambert had to lend a hand in crafting. Though he was a talented man, woodwork wasn’t one of Geralt’s strong suits. “But perhaps another set of hands wouldn’t be bad? Especially considering I can’t get down there to help you.”

Golden eyes flickered up to briefly glare at you as he returned to the center of the bedroom.

“Oh, come on now, dear. Don’t give me that look.”

He grunted.

“I just do not want to sit here and watch you struggle to put that together.” You cocked your head to the side just a bit. “It would be so much easier on you if you asked for help. Even Cirilla wouldn’t mind helping, I’m sure.”

“I want to build my child’s crib on my own.” He stated, his deep voice quiet and low.

Geralt stood at the table and placed the plank of wood where he wanted it.

You pushed yourself to your feet, grunting just a little at the weight of your entire body now coming to rest on your ankles.

Hearing the noise of discomfort that you made, Geralt turned his attention to you.

“Where are you going, dove?”

“Just stretching my legs. The baby is trying to stretch too.” You arched your back, placing one hand on your lower back. “Won’t be long now before they’re here.”

Hearing your words made Geralt furrow his brow more- if that was even possible. What if he wasn’t able to get the crib done before the arrival of the baby?

Geralt got down on his knees and began to work on one of the legs of the crib, giving the wood his full attention.

You came up behind him. You combed your fingers carefully through his white hair, smiling when he leaned into your touch.

“If you had help, then perhaps you could take a nap with me soon.” You leaned down to kiss his head.

“M’sorry if I’m disturbing you.” He turned his head back to look at you.

“No, you're not disturbing me. I could sleep through a war right now. I just wouldn’t mind you holding me.”

A little smile crossed his lips and for a moment, his eyes fluttered shut as you continued to brush your fingers through his hair. But all too soon he pulled away and let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry, dove. I have to finish this first. I don’t want the baby to arrive and not have somewhere to sleep.”

You nodded your head understandingly. Your husband was a stubborn man, and if he had his mind set on something, nothing could change it.

“Alright, love. I’m going to go down to the dining hall. We’re a little hungry.” You rubbed the side of your stomach.

“I can walk you down.” Geralt stood to his feet, moving to retrieve his cloak from where it hung near the door. The halls of the keep were frigid thanks to the snowy weather of the Blue Mountains during the winter months.

“You don’t have to do that, darling.”

“I just want to make sure you make it down the stairs without any trouble.” He wrapped the cloak around your shoulders.

***

After retrieving a snack and walking you back to the bedroom, Geralt returned to his project. He settled with sitting on the floor near you while he sanded down one of the pieces of wood.

“How much longer do you think it will be?” He glanced over to you, his voice quiet.

“Before the baby gets here?” You asked. “Oh, I’d imagine they will be here soon. Any day now.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“What if the crib isn’t done by then?”

“Oh, I think you will have it done in plenty of time.” You reached over to momentarily brush his hair with your fingers.

He took your head, bringing your fingers down to his lips and placing a kiss on your knuckles.

***

You fell asleep for a little while and found that when you woke up, you were alone in the bedroom. Geralt no longer stood looking over the crib in the center of the floor, nor was the crib even in the room.

You furrowed your brows together, a bit confused.

After grabbing his cloak to keep you warm, you ventured around the keep in search of your husband.

“Fuck, Lambert!” The White Wolf grumbled. “My damn hand is right there!”

“Then move your hand!”

You heard the voices come from the library. The door to the room was propped open, so this allowed you to peek into the doorway.

All four witchers were working on the crib for yours and Geralt’s child. Eskel and Vesemir were discussing something, Eskel gesturing to the crib as he spoke and Vesemir nodding in agreement. Lambert and Geralt seemed to be trying to put the crib together, too impatient to wait for the other two to finish talking.

Your presence in the doorway didn’t go unnoticed for very long. Vesemir was the first to look at you, offering you a smile. Eskel was the next, nodding his head once to acknowledge your presence. But the other two seemed busy with the crib.

“Y/N, come have a seat.” Vesemir gestured to a chair nearest to them.

Hearing your name, Geralt immediately looked up. His eyes found you without hesitation.

You moved towards the chair, bypassing him on the way.

“I thought you wanted to do this on your own.”

He grumbled something incoherent under his breath.

“I think it’s a fantastic idea to have them help you.”

“Fantastic until jackass here breaks my hand with the hammer.” Geralt gestured to Lambert.

“Well, it’ll teach you not to give him a hammer.” Eskel chuckled.

“Fuck off! I know what I’m doing!”

“Yeah, right.”

“I’ll break your hand on purpose!”

“Oh, Lambert.” You sighed, a smile resting on your face. “How do you feel about the little one that’ll be here any day now?”

“Fucking ecstatic.” He rolled his eyes. “I love kids.”

“Don’t let that sour attitude fool you, Y/N.” Vesemir swatted a hand at the youngest wolf. “Just last night, he was telling me how he wanted to teach the little one to track.”

“I’m gonna make sure that kid beats your ass in our yearly hunts.” Lambert gave Geralt a shove.

Geralt shoved him back, igniting a wrestling match between the two.

“You’d think they’d grow out of that.” Eskel moved to continue the work on the crib.

“Never.” Vesemir chuckled, amused by the men’s behavior. “Not near the fire, boys!”

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[hanzajesthanza]

that's so funny because that's similar to how i interpreted it when i first read it! well, actually probably something like my second or third read, i actually didn't get it at all when i read it at first, i kind of just furrowed my brow and went "... anyways..."

(also, i'd definitely be open to hearing other takes on this, though, this is just my interpretation of the scene. ^^)

i think this is an especially difficult scene for readers to understand because of two reasons: firstly, as you mention, many readers will have strong personal feelings about abortion and reproductive health.

when i first read this scene, i basically wasn't listening to anything the characters were actually saying, because i was just so filled with anxiety that this would all go south and start being an anti-abortion rant in a fantasy book. haha. i think that anxiety is only natural, when a heavy topic is brought up. because it slaps you with real life, real life issues, and makes you drop the fantasy pretense for a moment, engages you in a real debate - which is anxiety provoking.

secondly, i think it's a really nuanced take, one which doesn't condemn abortion and actually emphasizes it as an unalienable right, but also which says that although it's every woman's (person's) individual choice of what to do with her (their) body and pregnancy, people's decision-making skills become compromised when put under social and cultural pressures! that one's "individual" decision is never actually made individually, but rather, made in context with their circumstances, their physical and social environment, their beliefs ingrained since childhood...

for example, to use real world hypotheticals instead of this fantasy one, for a moment: a woman is pregnant, and wants to carry the pregnancy to term. but she is poor, and cannot afford to deliver, much less feed or clothe a baby, and has no family to help or take care of her. in this situation, her independent decision may very well be to abort the pregnancy, even though that decision may not be what she truly wants, it's a decision of logic, taking into account her current circumstances.

anyhow, chapter 7 of baptism of fire in general investigates the devastating power of being alone and succumbing to social pressure, through both regis and milva's stories. and this (loneliness and the power of social relationships) is a recurring topic throughout the book/saga, in geralt and ciri's (geralt has his company of good who guide him, ciri has her company of evil who mislead her).

regis drank, because otherwise he would have lost social approval, and his friends would have abandoned him. milva lay with the elf, because the others were laying with one another, and she didn't want to be alone in [what she thought were] her final moments. and ciri, in the previous book and explained earlier in this one, stays with mistle and the rest of the rats simply because she doesn't want to be alone: "is that all?" "that is a lot."

but these were all decisions made out of desperation, out of fear. people need people, and sometimes we need other people so badly we'll kill ourselves and our own desires to satisfy theirs. this is one of the greatest ideas the witcher saga puts forward, and one of the ones i most enjoy.

fairy tales will look into the theme of love and conclude with: "the power of love saved them," but sapkowski seems to understand the nuances of relationships, that it's never as simple as just "accord builds and discord ruins."

it is true that love saves, love delivers, but that makes us all desperate for it, and that makes love so incredibly powerful that it can destroy just as much as it saves. [looong sigh] what... what were we talking about, again?

explanation of milva's pregnancy and regis' "poll" (baptism of fire chapter 7)

for those that need it. i made a similar post a few years ago, but it was a little more meandering and "well, it could be this, it could be that." but after rereading this scene a bunch more times since then, i'm now more certain of what i have to say about it.

at the end of the novel, it's revealed that milva has been pregnant for the last two and a half months. since then, she has wanted to abort the pregnancy, but has hesitated.

“I spent too long dragging my feet, meditating, hesitating. Now it won’t be so easy…”

currently, she is in the first term, it’s the tenth week of her pregnancy, as regis… decuded, somehow, him being “something of an expert”. and she later tells geralt that the pregnancy was conceived in mid-to-late june, the sunday after the summer solstice. and it’s late august by the end of the novel, when this conversation takes place.

milva knew she was pregnant, as the dryads could tell, but her procrastination (partially) came from there not being a right time to involve herself with it, as she was busy running intelligence for geralt and leading scoia’tael commandos in july.

then, geralt set off from brokilon in early august (around the 5th/6th), and milva followed, feeling guilt out of wanting to abort her pregnancy. she wanted to save his child, ciri, in exchange for the abortion she was about to have performed.

‘(…) For I would like you to find your Ciri, Witcher. To find her and get her back, with my help.’ ‘So that’s why you rode after me,’ he said, wiping his forehead. ‘That’s why.’ She lowered her head. ‘That’s why you rode after me,’ he repeated. ‘You set off to help rescue someone else’s child. You wanted to pay; to pay off a debt, that you intended to incur even when you set off… Someone else’s child for your own. A life for a life.’

the abortion she was planning to have would have been her debt, and following geralt and saving ciri her “baptism of fire.” these are two of the largest themes of the novel (see eithne speaking of debt in ch. 1 and regis speaking of baptism of fire in ch. 5).

milva had a peasant upbringing, in a village in upper sodden. she was taught the very strict functions and definitions of a woman (why she is so enraged about the peasant clogs insulting her in chapter 4 by insinuating that she's not a virgin, and therefore no use to them to hunt a vampire).

she defines womanhood as this traditional homemaker with children running around the feet. and, not wanting to come into this “mother hen with an egg” womanhood, fled home after she killed her stepfather.

(from chapter 2, after they witness the rape of the peasant girl:)

‘(…) I ran away from home. I didn’t want to sweep the cottage and scrub the floors. I wasn’t going to wait until they arrived and put the cottage to the torch, spread me out on the very same floor and…’

from there, she became a hunter, a killer—not maria, but milva—red kite. she killed men for brokilon, led false dryad scalping expeditions, leading them right into traps. this is “the blood that calls her” now.

‘What kind of Red Kite am I? A mother hen with an egg, not a Kite… Milva laughed with the dryads on the battleground, pulled arrows from bloodied corpses. Waste of a good arrow shaft or a good arrowhead! And if someone was still breathing, a knife across the throat! Milva was treacherous, she led those people to their fate and laughed… Now their blood calls. That blood, like a wasp’s venom, is devouring Maria from the inside. Maria is paying for Milva.’

the blood she spilled is blood she will have spilled—through abortion, or pregnancy (or, miscarriage, as it so tragically happened).

milva was conflicted about her pregnancy because it (a symbol of womanhood, the very traditional womanhood she had fled) conflicted with the identity she had come into since she had escaped that life (as a hunter, as a killer). remember that geralt calls her “half-dryad, half-woman,” when mocking the company as it was formed by the fish soup. milva feels this divide herself, tearing her apart, between hen and kite.

milva wanted to have the abortion because she did not want a child, to have a child conflicted with her identity and, i mean, just generally, her life (hard to hunt toting around a baby on your breast). but she also felt guilt that she planned abortion, because of her culture and social norms.

so she wanted to, but hesitated, wanted to, then hesitated again.

she was planning to head back with dandelion once he balked, but since dandelion never faltered as she had predicted him to, she didn’t have a chance to leave the company.

she didn't want to tell the rest she was pregnant, you can guess why, because she to them was milva and not maria, she didn't want to divulge her vulnerability.

‘I thought I’d drink some ergot or some other decoction, and you wouldn’t even notice, wouldn’t even guess (…) I saw how Dandelion puts on a brave face; but thought him weak, soft, not used to hardship. I was just waiting for him to give up and then we’d have to offload him. I thought if it got hard I’d go back with Dandelion… Now just look: Dandelion’s the hero, and I’m…’

during this time, she also didn't want to have the abortion, because it would have slowed the march and prevented them from travelling. similarly, she felt guilt because if she was to carry it to term, it would slow their company even more.

also, how in hell was she supposed to find someone to perform an abortion in this wilderness, in this warzone, anyhow?

well, by some miracle chance, they happened across a barber-surgeon. in a cemetery of all places. what luck for her, a medical professional makes himself known. (this meeting was on the first night of the full moon, the 18th of august).

The root of the [mandrake], which is a valued ingredient in medicine and herb lore, long ago had great import in superstitions, particularly among the Nordlings; human effigies (called alruniks or alraunes) were carved from it and kept in homes as revered talismans. They were believed to offer protection from illnesses, to bring good fortune during trials, and to ensure fertility and uncomplicated births.

but then, of course, the nilfgaardian stampede in the refugee camp happens (chapter 4, mid-day of august 19th) and said barber-surgeon turns out to be a vampire (chapter 5, dawn of august 20th).

and again, milva having being raised in the forest, and being a smart girl, and a human, fears supernatural things with fangs which sprout from darkness and simply disappear into thin air.

‘Don’t take the piss, Witcher,’ Milva growled. ‘You know more about vampires than we do. You’re mocking Dandelion, so tell me. I was raised in the forest, I didn’t go to school. I’m ignorant. But it’s no fault of mine. It’s not right to mock. I–I’m ashamed to say–am also a bit afraid of… Regis.’

so it takes her some time to get over her fear, until said thing with fangs explains himself and assures his friends (chapter 7, late august) … and that’s where we find ourselves now.

milva finally gets a chance, ten weeks into the pregnancy, to get some medical consult (of course regis knew long before this, actually the day after they met, for when she puked after punching the peasant clogs in the face—but he says nothing and just “smiled strangely”).

I think Regis realised the truth. But he kept quiet. He kept quiet until he couldn’t keep quiet any longer. When we stopped to make camp in a deserted woodmen’s shack, Milva led him into the forest, spoke to him at length and at times in quite a loud voice. The vampire returned from the forest alone. He brewed up and mixed some herbs, and then abruptly summoned us all to the shack. He began rather vaguely, in his annoying patronising manner.

so, what is happening in this “husbands and fathers” scene? why does regis poll the men, and why does milva choose not to have the abortion?

regis polls the “husbands” of the company because he wants to pressure geralt into speaking with milva.

(also, my opinion: i think milva probably asked regis to tell all the rest all about her situation, because regis is eloquent and has no anxieties about these subjects, and milva herself is terrified. i can 💯 believe that she told him, ‘oh hell, i don’t know how to say it, you tell them all…’)

‘She demanded,’ Regis began a short while later, ‘that I prepare and give her a strong and powerful… medicament. She considers it a remedy for the problem. Her mind is made up.’ ‘And have you?’ Regis smiled. ‘Without talking to the other fathers?’

this is a good time to remember that regis can be very coy, and sometimes likes to get to his point “rather vaguely.” (unlike the very direct and action-oriented milva (lady of the lake, ch. 7)!)

for instance, in chapter 5, when revealing himself, regis does not tell all the rest himself that they shouldn’t pity him and view as a wretched creature, that he’s actually very powerful, but rather he gets geralt himself to admit that regis’ value would be “bloody high,” so high that he doesn’t believe that anyone could afford it. it's only when geralt admits this that regis finally smiles and “fucks off,” as it were.

so, as it was then then, regis doesn’t immediately state what he believes or what he wants here—rather, he peppers the others with questions to get them to come to their own conclusions, just as a wonderful philosopher does. much to geralt’s annoyance:

‘Regis, you seem to be conducting something like a poll among us. Why? You’re the physician. The agent she’s asking for… yes, the agent. The word medicament doesn’t suit me somehow… Only you can prepare and give her this agent. And you’ll do it should she ask you for it again. You won’t refuse.’ ‘I’ve already prepared the agent,’ Regis said, showing them all a little bottle made of dark glass. ‘Should she ask again, I shall not refuse. Should she ask again,’ he repeated with force.

regis indeed will provide the abortive substance to milva, he won’t refuse here. as geralt points out, he’s the physician, he’s even already prepared the agent. regis doesn’t truly care about the results of this “poll” if one of the company were to refuse and express their disagreement. it’s milva’s decision.

he’s actually not asking them for their approval, at all. so, what does he want? why does he ask? what is he asking for?

‘What’s this all about then? Unanimity? Total agreement? Is that what you’re expecting?’ ‘You know very well what it’s about,’ the vampire answered. ‘You sense perfectly what ought to be done. But since you ask, I shall tell you. Yes, Geralt, that’s precisely what it’s about. Yes, that’s precisely what ought to be done. And no, it’s not me that’s expecting it.’

ah, more vagueness (which confuses dandelion, and potentially the majority of the fandom).

‘Could you be clearer?’ ‘No, Dandelion,’ the vampire snapped. ‘I can’t be any clearer. Particularly since there’s no need. Right, Geralt?’

what regis wants is for geralt to talk to milva before she decides to go forward the abortion. because her pregnancy and his child are tangled up (her debt, her baptism of fire), which are making it difficult for her to make a decision based on what SHE wants. there's cultural pressure to keep the pregnancy, and quest pressure to drop it.

regis wants geralt to give her his shoulder to cry on, and to tell her something like: "i'm not expecting you to have an abortion just so you can help me out with finding my kid. we'll stick with you as a company, no matter what." and it's not regis that's expecting this, as he says, but milva.

again, if milva keeps the pregnancy, this will mean difficulty imposed upon on the entire company, as she ceases to be a "use" and instead becomes a "millstone" for the company to protect (also this may be why dandelion didn't understand what regis was asking geralt for. because dandelion is also a millstone for the company).

geralt has to tell milva it's okay to be vulnerable. that, uh, being pregnant is #valid? because you see how milva has come to view herself, as a hindrance:

‘You didn’t expect this when we set off, did you? When you let me join the company? You thought: “So what if she’s a peasant; a foolish, country wench?” You let me join. “I won’t be able to talk to her about brainy things on the road,” you thought, “but she might come in useful. She’s a healthy, sturdy lass. She shoots a straight arrow, she won’t get a sore arse from the saddle, and if it gets nasty she won’t shit her britches. She’ll come in useful.” And it turns out she’s no use, just a hindrance. A millstone. A typical bloody woman!’

this talk with milva is hard for geralt, because this means he has to step up and be a leader (which he did not want to be, as he expressed at the start of the novel!)

‘Right,’ the Witcher said, resting his forehead on his clasped hands. ‘Yes, too bloody right. But why are you looking at me? You want me to do it? I don’t know how. I can’t. I’m not suited for this role at all… Not at all, get it?’

so, he's reluctant to speak to her about this, but, well, tough.

It’s now or never, he thought. I can’t run away from it. There’s no point putting it off. It’s got to be done (…)

he speaks to her, providing his support, and offering some significant words about debt and sacrifice:

‘(…) You offered me help in a moment when I needed help very much. There’s no way of paying off a debt like that. It’s impossible to repay something that has no price. Some say everything in the world–everything, with no exception–has a price. It’s not true. There are things with no price, things that are priceless. But you realise it belatedly: when you lose them, you lose them forever and nothing can get them back for you. I have lost many such things. Which is why I can’t help you today.’

‘But you have helped me,’ she replied, very calmly. ‘You don’t even know how you’ve helped me. Now go, please. Leave me alone.’

geralt doesn’t tell her to not have an abortion, but rather provides his support for her no matter her decision. he tells her that he doesn’t expect her to sacrifice her pregnancy for his child, that he cannot repay her if she does. and he reminds her that “some things (…) when you lose them, you lose them forever. i have lost many such things,” he’s talking about the pregnancy, as well as his own child, ciri.

directly following this exchange is the scene of regis throwing the medicament into the bushes, which confirms that milva, no longer feeling the burdens of identity and guilt, decided to keep her pregnancy.

her deciding to keep her pregnancy means something to the company, though: that they will all be extra vulnerable, because soon milva will have to stop riding horseback and will have to rest and deliver. but geralt expresses that he (and the rest) are willing to take on that burden, to slow down the march for milva to carry her pregnancy to term, because they're a company, they're brothers in arms. they sacrifice for each other!

this is reflected in the next scene, the “change of plans” geralt informs regis about, saying that he no longer wants them to go through ysgith as they had previously planned (because it’s too dangrous for milva, which is what regis argues back to him about—“i would say even more than [physically] fit. the hormones…” ... lol, regis).

this is a huge moment for geralt’s character development, as he has come to identify himself as having a company, and then to value his company. in the beginning of the novel, he was willing to sacrifice anything for ciri, and now he has realized that there are some things (some people) which he is unwilling to sacrifice for her.

‘(…) I understood it was urgent. That it was important for you to acquire the information and set off to rescue your Ciri as quickly as possible.’

‘It is,’ Geralt said, looking away. ‘It’s very important to me. I want to rescue Ciri and get her back. Until recently I thought I’d do it at any price. But no. I won’t pay that price, I won’t consent to taking that risk. We won’t go through Ysgith.’

resulting in this reaction from regis, somewhat commending, and intrigued by him:

‘Geralt,’ the vampire said, still not taking his eyes away from the Witcher. ‘You’re a strange man. To make myself clear, I wasn’t being critical. Right, then. We give up on Ysgith, which is dangerous for a woman with child. We cross to the far bank of the Yaruga, which you consider safer.’

their new direction to across the yaruga, however, turned out to be just as dangerous, and with tragic consequences.

[burningblake]

ok i just finished my 8-hour long marathon of the witcher and I have opinions to share, some bitter some good, so let's start with the good:

I absolutely adored the yennefer-jaskier bonding scenes, especially when she hugged him and he was so surprised asdfgh and then how she saved him, my lovely girl has such a big heart and love to give. also bonus jaskier later defending her actions to geralt omg adorable

the moment tissaia sees yennefer after she thought she was dead 😭😭😭

the yennefer - geralt reunion I freaking replayed it so many times!! And then when Geralt introduced her to Ciri and that talk they had, asdfg found family united at last. (Would have loved the "dear friend" letter but I understand it wouldn't fit the pace and the vibe of the show to suddenly see geralt and yen writing letters)

The dessert!!!!

The unicorn reference!! 🤭🤭

I loved that Ciri's training is slow and gradual and she didn't like get all perfect and fearless at once

Ok that about sums up the good things, now the bad things, well!! I have a lot of complaints and quite honestly I am salty, if you don't want the negativity, don't read further but I need to express it so..

Why oh why the fuck did they change the plot so much?! What was this absolute shit with the hut spirit? Why???????? I am so pissed!!!

Listen!! Yennefer met Cirilla because Geralt ASKED her to take care of her and help her control her magic and YENNEFER was so different from Geralt in her teachings that Cirilla instantly made her her role model and thought of her as a mother figure!!!

THEY FLEED WITH THE HORSES FROM MELITELE BECAUSE YEN WAS PROTECTING HER WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HORSESHIT

yennefer would have never sacrificed an innocent life (much less CIRI!) no matter the cost, she valued life more than anything, SHE FREAKING RISKED HER LIFE TO SAVE A RANDOM BABY and you're telling me she would steal Geralt's baby and give her to the wolves?! EXCUSE ME but I call bullshit. Like sorry for the all-caps but I'm feeling strongly about this, they destroyed the perfect mother-daughter relationship from the books and I AM BITTER

why spend an entire episode at the beginning with that meaningless non-canon plot about yen fringilla and francesca finding some ancient spirit that determined their paths for the entire show WHEN WE COULD HAVE HAD AN EPISODE OF YEN TRAINING WITH CIRI WTF!!!!!!!!

Why the fuck is tissaia with vilgefortz? Where did that freaking come from?! LISTEN! TISSAIA IS EITHER A LESBIAN OR ASEXUAL LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE

The Geralt-Rience fight scene was supposed to be like this: Rience finds Geralt and he insults Yennefer in his face and so Geralt pretty much tells him that that insult just determined his fate and killed him on the spot because no one insults his wifey. INSTEAD Yennefer somehow freaking led him to Geralt?! As a distraction to take away Ciri?! HONESTLY FUCK THE FUCK OFF

Also why all that queerbaiting? Like excuse me but I am fairly certain that when Cahir asked Fringilla about her relationship with Francesca and he said "is she just a friend?" and that look fringilla made?! Yeah that was gay and then they twisted it to "she is your plan" yeah I'll tell you what plan her freaking wedding plan!

Even though I understand the cost Yennefer paid for her heroism at Sodden, I still think it was too far-stretched for her to only get her magic back at the very end and only to perform a small healing. My girl should have been able to join the final fight and save Ciri single-handedly along with Geralt and not be like "oh I made a potion"

Which leads to another thing I am bitter about, how did her "making a potion" serve the plot? Such a lazy writing ugh!!!

I HATE NETFLIX

All in all the bad things far outweigh the good for me - they changed so many freaking things without freaking reason!!!!! Ugh I am so annoyed and dissapointed! Truly sorry for the negativity, you can block me if you want, I am simply having a moment and I can't help being so salty about this

[ahdriking]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 tags

Tagged by @kissporsche my favourite person 💕

LISTEN THIS WAS HARD (I also didn't make it easier on myself by any means) I don't tend to watch/consume a lot of stuff. I tend to find something I like and then sit in a pit with that IP for the next 10 years crying about it. So basically these are 10 of my most favourite creative IP's of all time, and the characters who have touched me deeply. Yeah, I went too deep, whatcha gon do bout it.

Kinnporsche - Porsche (Porsche's explosive stubbornness, his chaotic bisexual energy, his self-sacrificial tendencies and his traumatic childhood all make him the most interesting character in KP to me)

Captive Prince - Laurent (Laurent was with me for some of the most difficult years of my life. He was the first character I've ever read who was a 'bad survivor', someone who had experienced trauma that left them meaner and uglier to the world. I relate so much to his cruelty and detachment in the earlier books, and his eventual journey of self-forgiveness and acceptance was deeply meaningful to me as I went thru one of my own)

The Foxhole Court - Andrew (Another traumatised blond with anger issues! Andrew is a fucking asshole and he knows it, and he doesn't give a single shit about it. "I would still blow you." Is permanently seared onto my brain.)

Black Sails - Captain Flint (Just pass me the fucking tissues, cos this messy, violent, piece of shit has me sobbing on my knees whenever I think about him for too long. A tragic, fallen hero, willing to sacrifice whatever it takes for the sake of a greater good only they can see. A bitter, lonely man who had his happiness stolen cruelly from him. Flint is, to me, unquestionably, the most brilliant and compelling queer character I've ever seen on TV. I still can't get over this show)

The Witcher - Geralt (big sexy warrior man with long hair and muscles and a tragic backstory who goes around grumbling under his breath while saving the world, having to ponder moral quandries about the nature of evil. Need I say more.)

LOTR - Frodo (My first ever fandom! Lil baby Ahdri was having feelings over Frodo before she knew what those feelings were. Frodo represents something so deeply profound to me: a hero losing themself to the evil they so desperately fight. Frodo is corrupted by the ring slowly and agonisingly, he watches the world around him dim and lessen for it, but he never complains about the burden, and he never recovers from it either. The scene of him leaving for the undying lands has me sobbing every time. Frodo saved the world, and he lost himself.)

Mass Effect - Female Commander Shepard (Greatest game series of all time needs a suitably badass, memorably awesome protag. Fem!shep's voice actor Awoke something in me as a teen. I'll never not love my muscly N7 Marine bae going around the universe killing bad dudes and quipping jokes. Shepards emotional journey and eventual sacrifice in mass effect 3 left me genuinely Changed on my first playthru. Even tho this is a very blank slate character, I have such a strong vision of who MY shepard is, that it's never fucking left me.)

Spartacus - Spartacus (Fuck me this dude had a rough life. And that's why he's such a delicious character. So much pain, so much rage, so much violent hatred, all of it born from love and grief, enough to shake the foundations of an empire. Spartacus' tragedy is as inevitable as it is compelling.)

Dragon Age II - Fenris (PRETTY ELF BOY WITH A BIG SWORD. And trauma. Why is it always characters with trauma? The whole covered head to toe in tattoos that were so painful to receive his entire memory was wiped thing really does it for me)

Game of Thrones - Daenerys (I MEAN THE BOOKS. She's just an interesting, well written character with a lot going on. It's rare to find such a compelling female protagonist in popular fantasy. Teenage Ahdri had a thing for the dragon lady)

Just gonna tag a bunch of people who are really awesome, if you've done it already/don't want to then don't mind me, and have an amazing day! @i-got-the-feels, @punchlove-blog, @boysbeloving, @elmindredaniq, @kurtstiel, @rainbowcolored7, @mortimerlatrice, @dragonhotcoffee, @skinsharpenedteeth, @luckydragon10

[lilith-of-rivia]

The Bards Sister  Geralt XFemale!Reader Part 1

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

Masterlist 

Summary: Geralt of Rivia and his long time travel companion Jaskier find themselves in Jaskiers home land. A place geralt had not only never seen nor heard of. Jaskier is ready to reunite its his family after traveling and exploring the world for 20 years. The one person he missed the most was his baby sister (Y/N). Who he hadnt seen since she was 5. The journal is long, but the pay off is grander then they would ever be able to predict. I know i am trash at summaries.

Trigger warnings: NONE a lot of Geralt and Jaskier in this first part. Your charicter doesn’t come in till closer to the end.

Pairings: GeraltxReader JaskierxSister!reader

Word count: 6,095 longest fanfic I’ve ever written!!

A/N: hello my loves!!! I got my Insperation back!! I’m hopping i will be regularly posting agin!!! I ove you all so much you consistent love and supoort has not gone unnoticed. The constant likes and reblogs truly means the world to me. I love every single one of you so much. Thank you for believing in my writing the way you do. All my love -Lilith ps. I have reviewed and edited but I will be doing a more in-depth review soon!

“Where are we going, Jaskier.” The Witcher’s brooding voice echoed threw the flowered valley. His horse trotted not far behind his companion. Jaskier looked back at him and just rolled his eyes.

“How many times have you led me on endless roads, towards the middle of nowhere speaking little to no words to me no matter how much I ask?” Geralt said nothing. Jaskier snorted looking back towards the road.

“Exactly. No shut up, your brooding is giving me a headache.” The bard was giving the witcher a taste of his own medicine. The idea that Jaskier was leading him to somewhere he had no idea of the location, made him uneasy. Did he trust his bard? Absolutely without a doubt. Would he ever admit it to him? No never.

Their travels continued till the sun was barely hanging in the sky. The air had grown crisp replacing the harsh burning of the full summer sun. Jaskier pulled his mare to the side of the road, climbing off her, tying her to a tree. Geralt followed, realizing they were stopping for the day.

“We still have a couple hours of daylight left.” Geralt said as he took Roach’s saddle and tack off.

“We don't need a couple hours, we are nearly there. Maybe an hour and half.” Geralt cocked an eyebrow at Jaskier.

“Then why did we stop?” Jaskier pulled his saddle bags off his horse, putting them beside a log as he gathered some sticks for the fire.

“Because I have to debrief you as to who we are going to see and you must bathe before we do so. The stream here will do the trick.”

“Gods Jaskier, will you just tell me where we are going? The secrecy is bullshit.” The broot of a man was losing his patience with his friend.

The duo had been on the trip for nearly two weeks. They left Tramieria and headed east. Much further east than Geralt could ever remember traveling. Yet the bard seemed to know exactly what turns to take and when. The closer they drew to their destination the more the witcher could hear his heart beat faster.

“Jaskier if this is some stupid plot for me to protect you from some man who’s wife you slept with again-“

“It's not Geralt-“ Jaskier pinched the bridge of his nose, his stress causing a minor headache. “Just go bathe then I’ll tell you everything.” Geralt studied his friend, his eyes searching his face, his ears tuning into his heart beat trying his best to figure out what he was getting himself into.

With a low grunt the witcher grabbed his last set of clean clothes and the bar of soap from the bard's hand before stomping off to the river.

“Clean EVERYTHING!” Jaskier yelled over his shoulder. Only getting an unfriendly finger in return.

Nearly an hour later, the sun was completely hidden behind the canyon, the glow of the fire Jaskier started illuminating their small camp. Jaskier’s fingers strummed mindlessly at his lute, his eyes fixed on the stars that were making their presence known more, humming to himself softly. He heard his friends footsteps as he approached, his hair was wet at his shoulders. A fresh white Cotton tunic hugged his muscular build, black trousers hugging his legs. He smiled nice for once. All thanks to the lavender and honey soap Jaskier had received as a gift.

“Now don't you look better.” Jaskier said with a chuckle. The witcher sat down across the fire from him, his golden eyes staring heavily at the bard.

“Spill your guts Jaskier.” Jaskier rubbed his hands over his face and nodded. His eyes looking anywhere but at his friend.

“I haven't been completely forward about my family life.” Jaskier’s eyes landed on the moon above them. It was nearly full, he was doing well with time. He knew they would reach their destination well before the next full moon.

“Jaskier.” Geralt’s harsh voice broke the silence. With a loud sigh Jaskier finally looked his friend in the face.

“I’m royalty Geralt.” The Witcher’s expression did not change. He just looked at his friend. He could hear Jaskier's heart beat become uneven and unsteady. At first he thought it was a joke but the nervous energy radiating from his long time friend made him think better.

“My family, they are wonderful people. My mother, bless her, taught me everything I needed to know about writing and music. Convinced my father to let me train at Oxenfurt Academy. My father is a noble and loyal king. He served our people well. Still does to my knowledge. I haven't been back in nearly 20 years…” the bard trailed off, his eyes fixated on his hands, his fingers twildilling with a ring he had on. The ring was that of his family. Their crest engraved into the gold.

“I was never meant to be a noble. I lived for adventure, for more than just sitting on a throne and watching people come and go. I was never fit to be king. My parents knew that. They understood. Understanding people they are.” His voice trailed off again, hopping his friend would say something. Ask a question. Anything. He didn’t know where to go next.

“Why didn't you ever tell me?” Geralt finally asked.

“Because it never came up. My family never needed me. I never needed them. I love them all dearly of course. But we were never the closest people in the world. Well, my sister and I were.” That caught the Witcher’s attention. His eyes narrow slightly, he made sure to not let his expression scare the bard into not telling him more. He was genuinely curious about his family. But he couldn't lie and say he wasn't disappointed that in the 7 years they traveled together he never heard of them.

“You have a sister?” The bard's eyes lit up. His memory raced with images of his tun little sister chasing him around the courtyard screaming, yelling his name. Her giggles and laughs pulling at his heart strings.

“Yes. Her name is (Y/N). She is about to be 25. Big age for a princess. I havnt seen her since she was very little.” His heart started to break softly. His neglect to his baby sitter weighting heavily on him.

“I write her often, as much as I can. She was...well, a surprise to my parents to say the least. I was 15 when she was born. I left home at 20. I was only around for her toddler years. I never got to see her grow, blossom into a young woman. I missed so much.” Jaskier had to fight back the tears, his throat becoming tight and dry. His body filling with regret.

“I just kept pushing it back Geralt. I alwasy said I’d make it home. I alwasy had it in the back of my mind to go back and see her. But I never did.”

“Why now?” Geralt asked.

“She wrote me a few months back. It was nearly a book. It was filled with tales of her new travels around our country. She had been training heavily with an unmanned matester of combat. She traveled the countryside with the man. She referred to him as an uncle. In the letter she asked me if it was true that I’d been traveling with you. She said the songs and tales of Jaskier the Bard traveling with the White Wolf made it to her ears.” Jaskier stopped talking for a brief moment, rummaged around his rut sack and pulled out a notebook. He untied its string and a large pile of papers fell out into his hand. He unfolded the parchment and scanned the writing.

“I wrote her back that week. Only to receive this in return.” He began to read;

“Oh dear Jaskier!! I cannot believe its true. I thought he was only a legend. The white wolf. Please tell him he is a hero here. We love his stories. Many have written books of him. Children run round calling themselves the butcher of Blaviken here to save the damsel and distress. I love his stories, mainly because they involve you. Please come visit me this year. I miss you terribly. I want to hear of your travels with the wolf. Mother said he is more than welcome to stay if he wishes to travel with you. I do miss you Jaskier. More than I think you know. I do not mean to guilt you or make you feel bad as i know you are traveling the world to your heart's content and would never want you to feel as though I do not support you-“ Jaskier stopped reading for a brief moment. A small tear dripped onto the page he was reading. Geralt listened to every word he read. He couldn't help the small tug of his lips when he read about the children pretending to be him. It was a breath of fresh air for the witcher. He had constantly been told he was a monster. To hid your children from him. Yet here was an entire country that loved him, yet he had no idea. Jaskier cleared his throat and continued. “But i miss my brother. And maybe, just maybe. I could come with you. If you deem me fit. I have been working tirelessly with a friend of fathers. He trains me in not only swordsmanship, but Herbology, and monsters as well. I can name nearly every monster that has inhabited the Continent and how to slay it. He thinks I’m ready to leave the nest and I think mother and father are getting a bit tired of me as well. I cannot stand another somber, dull, dinner party with nobles who look at me like a piece of meat. So please. Visit me soon. Come and stay a few days. Catch up with your dear sister and maybe, if he isn't too busy and if it doesn’t inconvenience him, bring the Wolf with you. He’d be a welcomed hero. All my love dear brother. Xoxo Love always, (Y/N) Irene Pankratz

Jaskier folded the letter, placing it inside his notebook before safely storing it inside his sack again. He ran a hand over his face, his eyes slowly moving from his hands to his best friend. They sat in the silence for a while. Geralt’s brain replaying the words he had heard from his friend.

“You could have told me about her Jaskier. Why didn't you? You’ve been in contact with her all this time, planning to see her and your family again. Bringing me along for the ride, yet not a single word in 7 years. Do you not trust me with such a secret Jaskier?” Jaskier was taken aback by his friend's words.

He never knew his secrecy would have such an impact on his friend. When it came to Geralt he learned long ago, the little words, the better. The witcher can only handle so much before he loses interest and stops listening or walks away. He never in a million years would have thought he cared about his life that much. It warmed the bards heart to know his dear friend, the only brother he ever had, cared that deeply for him.

“It has nothing to do with not trusting you Geralt. Is has everything to do with the shame I hold for not seeing her sooner. For treating her like a dirty secret form the world. There is no logical reason for me to keep my family such a big secret. Yet I have. For 20 years.” Geralt’s hands rubbed together softly as he listened to his friend. He understood the secrecy. He was a box full of secrets that nobody could get into.

“Its okay Jaskier. I understand the secrecy. Is that where we are going tomorrow?” Jaskier nodded, a smile appearing on his face.

“Her birthday is the next full moon. I’m hoping my gift will be a good start in time lost.” Geralt looked at him curiously. He hadn't noticed any major item in Jaskier’s possession that could make a good gift for a young princess.

“You’re her gift Geralt. I wrote her back after that letter and told her I’d be back for her next birthday. But that you simply were to busy with your work. I told her that you greatly appreciated her support and that youd consider writing to her in the future. She has no idea your coming with me.” Geralt didnt know how he felt about being a gift. He never ever saw himself as a gift to anyone. More of a burden the a gift. He shook his head at Jaskier and tutted at him.

“Jaskier if your that broke you could’ve asked me for a few extra coins for a real gift.” The witcher attempted to joke with the bard. It made Jaskier smile more. Geralt could be funny, but his humor was incredibly dry, much like Jaskier’s father.

“Geralt! Did you just try and joke around with me??” Geralt rolled his eyes, laying down stretching his muscles as he looked up at the starts.

“Best get some sleep Jaskier, you’ve got a rather big family reunion tomorrow.”

The next morning Jaskier was up and awake before Geralt, a rare sight. He truly hadn't slept more than a couple hours that night. His nerves kept him awake. He feared his sister wouldn’t be as loving as he pictured, she had every right to be mad at him, hate him even. By the time Geralt was up, Jaskier had bathed, changed and had his horse completely ready to go.

Geralt had to do everything in his power to not laugh at his friend. He looked rather ridiculous. His normal bright attire was replaced with a royals outfit. A green and blue velvet tunic and some extremely uncomfortable looking black trousers. His hair was combed back and his face was freshly washed. He even cleaned under his fingernails. He looked rather ridiculous in Geralt’s opinion. He couldn't help the low chuckle that left his lips as he put his bed roll away.

“I don't understand why you're laughing. I have some clothes for you to put on as well.” Geralt’s expression changed instantly, from humorous to angry.

“No. Absolutely not. What I’m wearing is perfectly fine. I’d wear it to meet any king or queen.” A bag was chucked at him, he barely caught it before it smacked into his face.

“This isn't any normal king and queen Geralt. This is my family. And besides, you are no ordinary witcher in my kingdom, you’ll be treated as royalty there. You may as well look the part.” Geralt huffed and threw the bag of clothes back at his friends feet, glaring daggers at him. He hated dressing up with a burning passion. Everything was too tight, not easy to fight in. If anything happened he’d have to rip the seams on every piece of clothing to be able to maneuver his weapons properly. And fancy clothes dont have space for weapons. He didn't like that one bit. Jaskier looked at his friend. His eyes pleading with him.

“Please Geralt. Just for today and her birthday. I couldn't care less what you wear at any other point on this trip.” He had walked closer to Geralt now. About a meter away from him. He extended his hand, the bag in his hand. Geralt looked from the bag to his friend. His teeth and jaw clenched.

He let out a loud huff and grabbed the bag from the bard.

“Fine.” He said through gritted teeth and began taking off his clothing. Jaskier smiled before turning his attention to Roach, getting her stalled and tacked so when Geralt was dressed they could leave.

“If we move with a bit of a haste we could make it there before breakfast.” Jaskier said as he mounted his horse, looking at his friend. His hand slapped over his face. The witcher looked utterly ridiculous in his new attire. The bright red and orange vest a-top a cream tunic, his legs tight in some disgustingly ugly corduroy pants. The pants were obviously smaller than the seamstress he bought them off claimed them to be. The ends of the pants came nearly mid calf on Geralt’s legs. His pasty white ankles and feet shining in the early morning sun.

“Jesus Geralt. Those are worse than the ones I got for Pavetta’s party.” The bard could no longer hold in his laughter. Did Gerarlt look like a nobleman? Sure, but his size, white hair, and bright yellow eyes really didn't help the situation.

“Jaskier, I will kill you for this.” Geralt grumbled angered as he pulled his socks up his feet and over his calves. Luckily for him (and Jaskier) his boots went higher than his pants, making it harder to notice that the pants he was wearing were way too small.

“At least I’m not making you wear a big hat with a feather, those are truly hideous.” Geralt mounted Roach, more carefully then he normally does in fear his pants could bust at the seams.

“I had to wrap you up nice and pretty to present you to my sister.” Jaskier commented as he led his horse; Napoleon to the main road, Geralt and Roach in tow.

The two men rode in a comfortable silence for some time, but as they got closer and closer to Jaskier’s home, all Geralt could hear was his frantic heartbeat. Jaskier’s palms get sweaty and his throat dry, no matter how much water he drinks from his water skin.

“Jaskier. You need to calm down. Your fucking heart beat is driving me insane.” Geralt hissed. They could see the end of the valley they had been traveling in. Geralt looked out in the distance, his eyes saw the castle first. It was very far, but he could tell how beautiful it was from where they were.

“Maybe you just shouldn’t listen to it then.” Jaskier barked back.

“You know I have no control over it, idiot. Take a deep breath. I know you're scared, I understand. But from the sounds of it your sister desperately misses you, I don't think she would ask you to come see her if she was going to hate you.” Geralt didn't talk much at all, that everyone knew. He was a man of few words. But when he did speak it was wiser than most people ever expected. People tended to forget the age of the white haired man, as he stopped ageing physically in his late twenties.

Jaskier smiled softly at his friend's words, he listened to him and took a few deep breaths, calling himself down. Geralt was right. His sister seemed eager as ever to see him again.

The two men approached the entrance to the city. Geralt was more than shocked. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen a city so beautiful in his entire life. The streets were lined in beautiful stone, flowers, vines, greenery all around every corner. The banners that were hanging on the outside of the main gates caught Geralt’s eyes. The crests on them were brightly colored in greens and blues, a very large diamond in the center. Their horses rode into the entrance of the town. Jaskier’s heart was calm, steady, his face was bright and had a smile Geralt had never seen on him before. He was finally home.

“Welcome to Inritha (In-Rithe-A) the capital of Unthya (Un-The-A) Geralt. Welcome to my home.”

Their horses traveled down the stone brick road slowly, the city was buzzing already even with it being the early hours of the morning. Geralt was surprised to see everyone look so...happy, care free. Enjoying their lives. They looked as though nothing was a fret, no monster looming. Geralt was mesmerized by the city. The buildings were built out of what looked to him like limestone, a building material he so rarely saw in other parts of the Continent. The buildings were being taken over by vines and moss, flowers all over. He’d never seen so many butterflies in his life.

“Jaskier-'' his voice was barely a whisper, the bard turning to look at him as they rode side by side. Jaskier couldn't help but smile as his friend admired the beauty he himself had so easily forgotten over the years.

“I know, it's beautiful. I've forgotten myself.”

The two men continued riding their horses up the road closer and closer to the castle. The longer they road tho more attention they got from passer buys. Geralt could hear their whispers.

It couldn't be. Could it?

THE Geralt of Rivia? Here in Inritha?

Mummy look! It's the butcher!!

Has Prince Jaskier finally returned home?

For the first time in what seemed like his entire life, the hushed whispers Geralt heard as he rode through a city were not of hate and disgust. But of admiration and curiosity. The entire time Geralt and Jaskier rode through the city, he never once had the urge to grab either of his swords that were at his side.

The two men approached the gates of the castle, four armored guards stood outside. The put their hand up in motion for the men to stop. One who looked as tho to be the commander of sorts stepped forward poking between both men. Eyes lingering for a long while on the two.

“State your name and what business you have in Inritha at this early hour.” Jaskier dismounted his horse, waking a few feet forward.

“My name is Jaskier Alfred Pankratz son of Dastrill and Alvere Pankratz. This is my companion Geralt Of Rivia, we are here on behalf of my sister, (Y/N) Irene Pankratz’s 25th birthday.” Jaskier bowed his head lowly, keeping eye contact with the commander in front of him.

“Prince Jaskier?!?” The man clearly looked flustered and embarrassed for not recognizing the prince of his own kingdom. All four men quickly bowed their heads.

“Please accept my apology your highness, we welcome you home. As do we welcome your honored guest.” Jaskier smiled and told the men to not trouble themselves with an apology. Geralt continued to watch from atop Roach, still not use to being idolized instead of feared. Honored guest. Geralt thought to himself. He could get use to the new treatment. Jaskier remounted Napoleon the gates to the castle walls opening. The both road threw, all four men bowed their heads as the two walked threw. Not once did they threaten Geralt’s life. They were led by a guard to the stables where they left their horses.

Geralt could hear Jaskier heart beating again in his chest as they were led inside the castle. Geralt tried to concentrate on his friend, to be there for him but he couldn't help but let his eyes wander all over the castle's walls, it was a bright exterior. The walls polished, candles everywhere. Large windows allowing for natural lighting. Nothing dark or gloomy about the castle at all. He felt uplifted..cheary almost. As they neared the entrance to the grand hall where the King, Queen, Princess along with some others were. Geralt could hear the light conversation, and the clicking of silver on plates, they were eating breakfast. But he could still hear Jaskier’s heart beating in his chest. Geralt placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder as they walked, giving it a soft squeeze. The action made Jaskier more worried if the witcher was feeling alright, as it was abnormally out of character for the man. But he said nothing, appreciating the gesture.

They got to the door and just as the guard was about to push the doors open Jaskier grabbed his arm.

“Could we maybe skip the loud over dramatic announcements of my arrival? I have not seen my family in years.” The guard only nodded, bowed his head and walked back outside to his post. Jaskier looked over at his friend, as he put his hand on the door ready to push it open.

“Now or never.” Jaskier said as he opened the door. Both men walked into the large room, the talking stopped almost instantly. Geralt stood at the door, not wanting to impose on the important reunion of his friend and his family. He followed Jaskiers gaze to the table ahead of them in the front of the room. The room was lined with huge floor to ceiling windows, the light of the early morning sun shone brightly making the marble floors glisten.

“JASKIER!!!” The loud scream of a girl nearly made Geralt jump out of his skin, his hand reaching back for a sword that wasn't there in instinct.

It made Jaskier jump but the smile that covered his face was even bigger than the one he had seen as he walked through the city. Geralt followed Jaskier’s gaze to a young woman. The sight of her alone made Geralt want to pass out. He wasn't sure if he had ever seen someone so beautiful in his entire life. Her hair was the same chestnut brown that Jaskier had, but it was long, hip length. She had it pulled back slightly out of her face, a few baby hairs framed her face. Oh her face. Geralt thought as though he was looking at a living breathing angel. He heard her chair scrape roughly on the ground before it loudly crashed on the floor. She raced around the long table from her mothers side and sprinted to her brother. She practically threw herself on him. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He quickly wrapped his arms around her, stumbling back a few steps. Everything was quite as the two embraced. Geralt's eyes went to the king and queen who were now standing. The queen looked just like (Y/N) but her hair was black, long stripes of grey peeking through her hair. The crown atop her head glistened in the light. Her right hand was tightly around her husband's arm, her other hand placed softly over her mouth as she looked at her children. Her husband looked much like Jaskier. His hair was the same color as both of their children, but much like his wife’s, much of it had turned grey. His eyes were the same cornflower blue that Jaskier had.

Minutes passed in silence before Jaskier put his hands on his sisters shoulders, pulling her away from him. He put one hand on her cheek as he examined her features. Her pale cheeks were damp with tears. But not sad tears. Tears of joy.

“My sister, how you’ve grown.” Geralt could hear the tears in the bard's voice. He couldn't see him but he could hear everything.

(Y/N) fingers gently brushed over her brother’s face as she smiled at him.

“My brother, how you haven't aged a day. You look just as I remember you. Maybe a few more wrinkles.” She teased. He laughed softly. Wiping his eyes with his hand before pulling her into another bone crushing embrace. She was much shorter than Jaskier, barely shoulder level with him. Geralt was shocked to remember she would be turning 25 in two days. She was still young in the face, beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to see her more up close.

While the siblings spoke their parents moved from the spots at the table, standing behind (Y/N). Alvere was the first to pull him into a tight embrace after her daughter let go. Her fingers gently combed through his hair as she inhaled his scent deeply.

“My dear son how I've missed you.” She whispers slowly into his ear. Geralt was starting to feel bad for eavesdropping. Not that he could help it. He was still standing at the entrance to the grand hall yet he could hear everything.

Jaskiers father hugged him next, it was not nearly as long as the outer two but both men were okay with it. Understanding that their relationship had never been one for long father son hugs.

“It is good to see you again my boy.” His hand clasped down on his son's shoulder.

The four of them stood close together, smiling more than Geralt ever thought possible. It almost made his heart turn. Deep, deep, deep, down the witcher longed for a family that would look at him the way they looked at Jaskier. He often cured the universe for not giving him an option when it came to what he had become. He clung to the few memories he had of his mother. But as years passed they became harder and harder to remember, more painful. But he had. Made a new sort of family over the years. From Jaskier, to his brothers at Kaer Morhen.

“(Y/N), mum, dad, there is someone I’d like you to meet.” Jaskier turned his head towards the door to the hall. Geralt stood tall, shoulders pressed back, his hair framed his face gracefully. Even in the entirely ugly attire he was in, he made himself as presentable and as proper as possible. (Y/N)’s eyes grew bigger when her eyes met his. He once again was taken aback by her beauty. Her eyes were a powerful emerald green matching similarly to the color of her brother's tunic, but brighter. Her mouth fell slightly agape when she realized who it was. The eyes were a dead give away that he was in fact a witcher, but once she saw the silver medallion that rested on his chest, she knew.

Jaskier nodded his head for Geralt to walk forward and he did, his footsteps were light, his pace slow and steady as he walked closer to the royal family. (Y/N)’s hand gently covered her mouth in excitement. Her eyes flickering to her brother who grinned at her.

“A bit of an early birthday gift.” He winked. Once Geralt was closer to the group Jaskier turned so he could introduce them, at his sister's side. All eyes were on him. Even the few people who were still seated at the table were looking at him. He started to feel a bit more uneasy. He started to remember how far away his swords were if he needed them. This alone was beginning to make him panic. He was not used to being welcomed into royal courts unless it was specifically for a hunt.

“This is Geralt of Rivia, one of the most feared, renowned, and skilled Witcher’s the content has to offer. And also my best friend.”

Geralt's eyes were back on (Y/N)’s, his worries dropped more when she smiled brightly at him. Her eyes gleamed.

Geralt bowed his head to the three of them, “ it is an absolute pleasure to meet you, your highnesses.” (Y/N) was nearly blown over by the sultry sound of his voice. She had only heard stories of the witcher. Never see him for herself and definitely had never heard him speak. She never expected a monster hunter to be as handsome as he was. She admired every feature he had. Her eyes fixating on his chiseled jawline, the light gray stubble across his chin and cheeks.

“My, what a pleasure it is to meet such a famed warrior as yourself Geralt!” The king spoke before (Y/N) could, which she was happy about as she did not trust her voice to not waver at his beauty in that moment.

“You my dear are very popular around here. Your stories are legendary. The school children even host yearly plays, Reenacting your most beloved stories.” (Y/N)’s mother added her finger pointing light hardly at Geralt. Her hand came out gracefully from her side to shake the Witcher’s hand. He gently took it, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips. His attention returned to (Y/N).

“I’m terribly sorry I’m the birthday gift from your brother this year.” She shook her head almost as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Do not be sorry Geralt-'' the way she said his name made him feel as though he could keel over. “I would like to thank you, for protecting my brother for the years you have. He never skips on his gratitude for you in his letter to me. For that we are all eternally grateful for you.” She reached her hand out. Geralt wasted no time in grabbing her hand, shaking it gently. He was dying inside, but he couldn't let her or anyone else see. He took a gentle step towards her, his head lowering softly, his soft lips were placed on the back of her small hand. The small action made the young girls' faces burn red. Her eyes flicked to her brother who smugly smiled, knowing danm well his gift was going to take the cake.

“Well, you both should come join us, we just started eating.” The king said with a smile, with a quick wave of his hand two more places we set.

(Y/N) gently removed her hand from Geralt’s. Walking towards the table, both men in tow. As she reached her spot she moved her plate and glass to the middle seat that had been prepared, leaving Jaskier a seat next to their mother and Geralt a seat next to her. They all sat and waited as food was served to them. (Y/N) could feel Geralt watching her as she ate, her brother deep in conversation with her parents about his most recent travels. But she wasnt listening. Her attention was only on the man seated to her left. She looked over at the man, eyed him up and down then turned to her brother. For the first time she noticed how ugly their attire was.

“Gods Jaskier who dressed you two?” She asked as she sipped her orange juice. Both men looked at her. Jaskier looked a bit hurt and Geralt only snorted.

“I told him the clothes were horrendous.” Geralt said beside the young woman making her giggle. The sound made his heart beat faster. This was also when he realized how sensibly everyone else in the room was dressed, and how much they stood out. (Y/N) was in a thin white cotton dress, it was around knee length and a light sweater was on her shoulders. Her mother and father dressed similarly. Their clothes looking normal, comfortable.

“Oh my dear brother. What have you done to the poor witcher.” She laughed, turning her attention to him. She could see how uncomfortable the clothes made him. The vest was way too tight and he was practically bursting out of his pants, not that she minded, she gladly enjoyed the view.

“He is torturing me. That's what.” Geralt scoffed and she couldn't help but giggle again.

“You're so dramatic Geralt it's truly not that bad.” Her head flicked to her brother.

“Jaskier don't be rude.” She tutted him like a mother, it made Geralt snort under his breath as he took a bite of his eggs. She stood and walked behind him. He was stiff at her movements.

“Do you mind?” Her fingers were on the strings of the vest. He shook his head no and she quickly untied the tight strings, and it fell from his shoulders. She took it off and handed it to one of the maids

“You can burn that horridly ugly thing.” She said as she sat back down.

“I do not remember you being so rude, little sister.” Jaskier quipped.

“What I think is rude is how you made sure you got the more presentable clothing and dressed your poor friend in those horrendous colors. Have you seen his pants, Jaskier?? It's a miracle he can still breath.” Her eyes looked towards the witcher who was already looking at her with a cocky smirk on his face, glad she was putting Jaskier in his place for the ugly outfit choice.

“I can take you to the seamstress later today, if you’d like Geralt.” Her smile was like a drug.

“I’d appreciate that m'lady.” He said softly.

“And I can show you around the city, both of you. But in return I would like to hear some of your stories, first hand if that’s doable.”

“That sounds like a reasonable trade.” Geralt quipped back.

“Then it's a date, Witcher.”

“A date it is.”

[hamliet]

The Witcher 2.0

Or a huge fan of the books who also kinda likes the show finally finished the second season and will thus share her somewhat disjointed and utterly unrequested thoughts.

I think the second season overall is stronger than the first, because it came across as more cohesive (especially starting from about episode 3-4). The character arcs came across quite tightly-constructed, and the relationships felt more natural. (Yennefer and Jaskier’s friendship was a highlight, as was Fringilla and Cahir’s siblingesque rivalry). 

The first two episodes I think struggled to recapture the magic of the books--they felt very heavy and lacking in the joy aspect (I mean, it’s a very dark adult fantasy series, but the books still have an undercurrent of magic and humor to them that I felt like was... lacking in the first two episodes; fortunately the rest captured it again). 

They clearly took liberties with the source material, but for the most part I think the changes worked better for the medium of a show. 

Changes that worked: 

Yennefer meeting Cahir 

In the books, Yen never meets Cahir, which is a shame since Yennefer-Hansa interactions are things I crave in my soul. Having Yen meet Cahir here worked well because it emphasized a narrative parallel between Vesemir-Geralt-Ciri and Tissaia-Yennefer-Cahir as generations. Vesemir and Tissaia are flawed parental figures who really want to do the best for their “children” (Geralt and Yennefer) but don’t quite gather how that translates into how Geralt should treat his daughter, Ciri, and how Yennefer should treat her could-have-been-son Cahir. They emphasize that Geralt and Yen should prioritize themselves and their wellbeing, ignoring that who Geralt and Yen want to be is good parents who prioritize their children because that’s what parents do. It sets up interesting foiling between Tissaia and Yen, Vesemer and Geralt. 

What works less well, however, is Cahir’s age. In the books, Cahir is ~4 years older than Ciri, and they have parallel arcs and a potential brief romantic connection later on. Eamon Farron is in many ways the perfect Cahir (and super talented and hot), and he does a great job playing Cahir as immature/more his book age of teenager who dreams of being a knight in shining armor but has no idea how to actually be a hero (for example, in the show, when Cahir returns to Niflgaard, he throws a fit insisting that he won’t wait in line, argues with Fringilla in a rather bratty way, etc). However, the beard was just--listen i KNOW he’s been in prison but it made it impossible not to see the age difference between the actors, when in the books the age difference is basically nothing at all. It confused the framing because he and Yennefer seemed more like equals rather than Yennefer as a mother. 

Emhyr-Duny's reveal

In the books, Emhyr’s true identity as Duny isn’t revealed until the very last book, and significantly through the book, too. The reveal is well set up (there are enough clues to where I had worked out that Emhyr was somehow connected to Duny--I thought he was Duny’s father, so Ciri’s grandfather). 

The way the show set it up, though, I quite liked that they chose to reveal it here. I think it fit with the emphasis on Ciri moving on from her past (well, kind of) and added another parallel to the idea of what parents want for their children contrasting with the reality that children are people, not things. We see the tragedy of what that objectifying line of thinking leads to in Francesca’s baby being murdered, and we know that if all these people--Voleth Meir, Nilfgaard, the justified elves wanting a savior, even the well-intentioned Vesemir wanting Ciri to become a witcher--try to force Ciri to be what they want, it will kill her, too. 

What potentially works less well, though, is what Emhyr revealing publicly that Ciri is his daughter will do. In the books, Emhyr doesn’t even want Ciri to know, because he wants to marry her (yes it’s supposed to be gross). He does marry an imposter eventually after letting his daughter go. I am curious how they will adjust Emhyr’s motivation in the show--does he not want to marry her here? Because that’s kind of important to the story. Or will people just like, not care that it’s super gross? We’ll see. 

Vereena, Voleth Meir, and Ciri 

Overall the season did a fantastic job with parallels (Istredd and Triss as first love interests for Yennefer and Geralt respectively, who are lovely people but who aren’t quite in places where they can be Ciri’s parents or Yen or Geralt’s matches). One more I noticed is the framing of the first and last episode. 

In the first episode, Geralt kills Vereena when he perhaps did not need to. Vereena, like Voleth Meir and like Ciri, uses screams as a weapon, and Vereena is killed by a combination of the man who loved her and Geralt. The last episode has Geralt facing a similar choice, but this time he has to choose whether or not to kill the girl he loves as his daughter in Ciri (and his lover, Yennefer, as well). Yennefer chooses to make the choice to sacrifice herself rather than anyone else, and Ciri then saves them. 

It’s a motif through the season (and through the books): love hurts, but love also sets free. Vereena’s love for Nivellan sets him free from his curse, even though she does not survive it. True love, romantic, familial, or platonic, cannot control another person. Jaskier cannot control Geralt. Geralt cannot control Yennefer. Yennefer cannot control Ciri. Seeking to control is not love. 

Things I Have No Idea About 

Dara’s character is a bit odd to me, because obviously he’s a Netflix invention, but in the second season especially he feels far less naturally grafted in. What his endgame will be, I have no clue. It felt a little... poorly done this season. 

Cool Beats

Seeing all the cool kids cameo in the ending (Meve, Philippa) had me like yassssss. I’m dying to meet the other members of the Hansa, even if those probably won’t even be in season 3. I want to meet Milva already dammit. 

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

Baby, You Light Up My World

well I haven't done this trope yet...

sold to 1D au - modern au - absolutely a fluffy crackfic

I didn't do much editing, I just wrote this for funsies.

Please consider leaving me a comment since it is my birthday month. As both a bisexual and a Leo I desire nothing more than validation.

tw: mild panic attack

---

“Jaskier! You useless layabout!” his mother called from the bottom of the stairs. “Get down here!”

The young man dropped the book he’d been reading and jogged down the staircase from his room to the main floor. “Yes, Mother?”

“I had to pay the bills after your father died mysteriously so I sold you online.”

“What!?” Jaskier gaped, jaw dropping.

“Yeah, and your new owners are almost here.”

“My new owners!? M-Mother, what do you mea-”

“Go upstairs and get your shit packed,” the frowning woman interrupted. She lit up a cigarette and rolled her eyes in obvious annoyance. “That doorbell is going to ring any minute now and then my problems are over.”

The shocked teen wandered back up the stairs to his room, where he packed his meagre belongings into his old summer camp duffel bag and laid his father’s old guitar gently in its velvet-lined case. His mind raced with questions. Would they be nice people? Would they be cruel? Would he be happier with these strangers than he was at home or at school? Who were they? Was this even legal?

Jaskier nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard the doorbell ringing. He grabbed his bag and his guitar and slowly made his way to the front door. His mother was chatting quietly with several people - men, judging by their low voices - and his heartbeat skyrocketed.

“C’mere, boy,” she ordered, snapping her fingers with impatience. Jaskier scurried forward. “Meet the people who are taking you off my hands.”

“Hello, Jaskier,” said a familiar voice. His head shot up, blue eyes wide and confused.

“G-Geralt deRiv!?” his gaze moved from one man to the next in quick succession. “L-Lambert… Eskel?”

It was his favorite band, Wolf Direction.

---

EARLIER THAT MORNING

---

“Why the fuck are you buying another band member?” Lambert asked, glancing over Vesemir’s shoulder to read his laptop screen. “Why not just hold some open auditions?”

“Because this is a fanfiction, Lambert,” their manager huffed. “And this is how Geralt and Jaskier's meet-cute has to happen.”

“Oh.”

---

BACK TO THE STORY

---

Lambert took his guitar and Eskel took his bag while Geralt herded Jaskier onto the large tour bus parked in his too-short driveway. Jaskier was still in shock; his limbs moved on autopilot as he sat down on the surprisingly comfortable couch that stretched along one wall of the bus, beneath the tinted windows. Geralt sat beside him but kept his hands to himself, waiting for the old man with the mustache to speak first.

“Well hello there, Jaskier,” the stranger greeted warmly. “I know this is an unconventional situation but I wanted to personally welcome you to Wolf Direction. I'll admit that it's all a bit sudden and unexpected, but we needed someone with your gentle disposition to help balance out the boys and you're almost the same age, which is convenient.”

"I'm-" Jaskier blinked owlishly. "I'm joining the band?!"

"You're going to be the new front man," Lambert winked.

Jaskier, completely overwhelmed by the events of the past half-hour, passed the fuck out.

Geralt startled a bit as the brunette boy slumped against him and he gave Vesemir a worried glance. “What the fuck?”

By the time Jaskier managed to regain consciousness they were already nearly a hundred miles away. He sat up from the arm of the couch and stretched, listening as several places in his lower back popped into place. “Huhn?”

“Oh!” Eskel grinned, setting down his X-Box controller. “You’re awake!”

“And you’re Eskel.”

“Yeah… I sure hope so.”

“Cool.”

“Please don’t faint again!” Eskel pleaded, propping the smaller boy against a pillow and covering his lap with a blanket. “You scared the shit out of Geralt.”

“Sorry,” Jaskier blushed, allowing himself to be prodded and adjusted. “I didn’t mean to… It’s just been a very weird morning.”

“It’s going to get weirder,” Lambert added, slamming the bathroom door closed behind him. “Because now we have to know which one of us you’d like to bunk with. There are only four bunks and the bus driver has the couch.”

“Uhhh…” Jaskier’s eyes flickered between Eskel and Lambert. “I’ll just sleep on the floor.”

“I’ll take the floor,” Geralt offered, poking his head out from behind one of the bunk curtains. “He’s new and probably terrified. He’ll need more sleep than I do after the day he’s had.”

“I- No, it’s-” Jaskier tried to argue but none of the band members wanted to listen.

“Alright, floor for Geralt. Jaskier can have his bunk.”

Jaskier felt wrongfooted all over again. “Th-Thanks.”

“No problem. You any good at FIFA?” Eskel asked, offering Jaskier a second controller. The young man shook his head and settled back onto the couch.

“I brought a book,” he smiled timidly.

“Oh, you and Geralt will get along swell,” Lambert teased, tossing Jaskier the duffel. “The bus has been infested by bookworms!”

“Wouldn’t hurt you to read a book or two,” Vesemir said over his shoulder. “Might actually manage to fill some of the space between your ears.”

“Fuck off,” Lambert groused. He fumbled his way into his own bunk. “Let me know when it’s time to eat.”

Jaskier, still surrounded by a cloudy sort of surreality, opened his book and lost himself in the pages.

---

TWO WEEKS LATER

---

Jaskier had forgotten how much he hated thunderstorms. He whimpered as another loud bang shook the bus and rattled him in his tiny bunk. Thankfully the driver had parked them for the night, so he didn’t have to worry about crashing into a tree during inclement weather. He was worried about blowing away in the wind, however.

“G-Geralt?” he whispered, poking his head out from behind the dark curtain. Geralt blinked up at him from his air mattress on the floor, still mostly asleep.

“Hmm?”

“Wanna share the bunk tonight? I-” Jaskier licked his lips anxiously and took a deep breath “I’m scared of the storm.”

“Sure,” Geralt lumbered to his feet and slid onto the twin-sized mattress next to Jaskier. Their legs were pressed together and their faces were only inches apart. “Sorry. Bit of a tight squeeze.”

“I don’t mind,” Jaskier muttered. He was glad that the darkness kept Geralt from seeing the way his face had gone red from being in such close proximity to his favorite member of the band.

He and Geralt had been dancing around each other lately - terrified of their very obvious and very mutual feelings for each other - and Jaskier was glad for an excuse to be near him again. Geralt spoke up again: “Scared of storms?”

“I used to have the attic bedroom at my house,” Jaskier explained, keeping his voice low. Eskel was right above them, snoring away. “And once, during a storm, a tree branch flew through my window. I haven’t been able to sleep through the sound of thunder since.”

“I’m glad you’re alright,” Geralt replied. One of his heavy arms came to rest over Jaskier’s ribcage, holding him without holding him; merely a comforting weight to settle his nerves.

“Me, too,” Jaskier smiled. “Sorry for interrupting your sleep. I’ll be quiet now.”

“Hmm,” Geralt hummed his acknowledgement. He tucked the younger man’s head beneath his chin and started humming an actual tune, running through all of Jaskier’s favorite Wolf Direction songs until he started snuffling quietly. “Sleep, Jask. I’ll keep you safe.”

And he did.

---

TWO MONTHS LATER

---

"Thank you so much, Detroit, we loved being here!" Jaskier waved to the audience and let the microphone drop. He was panting for breath and sweat dripped from his bangs into his eyes, still... this was the happiest he'd ever been. Geralt wrapped a strong arm around his waist, waved to the screaming crowd one last time, and escorted Jaskier into the wings.

"You did great, babe," he smiled. Jaskier grinned up at him.

"Really?"

"You always do."

"You guys are disgusting," Eskel made a fake gagging sound.

"I think it's adorable," Lambert argued. They switched sides every week or so to keep things interesting. "They were made for each other."

"Whatever," Jaskier stuck his tongue out. "This is a found family strangers-to-lovers fic. We can do whatever we want."

"I want to kiss you," Geralt suggested. Jaskier grinned again.

"Sounds like a great ending to me!"

So they kissed, and it was beautiful and sweet and everything Jaskier had ever hoped for.

[mantra4ia]

Things I liked (and loathed): "The Witcher" Season 2

Spoilers ahead, carry on with caution...

I enjoyed:

Jaskier's singing. And the barmaid's quip about how she'd rather swap places with her deaf cousin than listen to "Burn, Butcher, burn."

Jaskier and Yennefer as frenemies, because it's dead accurate

Yennefer burning Rience with his arrogance and cheap spirits, while being Jaskier's beard. It improvised from the source material where Yennefer *cough* still had her magic, but it was very satisfying.

The return of Yarpen Zigrin, and the battling dwarven company

Geralt and Vesemir fighting monsters in tandem

Ciri's banter with her witcher bros

The veiled book reference to Yennefer's taxidermy unicorn and how it broke (fyi, it's not meant for seat two very energetic people)

Goodness, I am so glad we finally got to meet Mother Nenneke, although she ought to have given Geralt the business far more than she did. She's a formidable voice of reason, and she doesn't mince words. I submit a book quote in which she says to Jaskier "Stop talking bullshit and don't call me mother. The very idea that you could be my son fills me with horror."

Rience...I mean that he's still an ****hole, true to form from the source, not that I like him.

Yay for botany and potions.

Yennefer telling Ciri that when you have inner power, you shouldn't apologize for it/ mirrored by Fringella's revenge triggered when the council and her uncle Artorius ask her to apologize for not knowing her place.

The pendulum, Ciri's training, and Triss tearing into the witchers about their treatment of Ciri.

The flashback of Mousesack and Calanthe. But where's Eist?

The final reveal, though I worry about the series getting ahead of itself.

What I didn't like:

Absolutely everything else, with varying degrees of severity from this is annoying -> "Djinn: I'd like very much to punch someone on the creative team in the face."

The title graphics and score for starters... did someone get too drunk on mead to finish them?

There's So. Much. Screaming. Please get everyone a lozenge for this painful redundancy.

The fact that Yarpen doesn't get to have dialogue with Ciri, for shame.

They did Eskel dirty.

Source Yennefer: there's nothing more pathetic than a mage in tears. Netflix Yen: Tears and screams abound.

Rience turned into Pyro from X2, except considerably more annoying than Pyro because I like Aaron Stanford.

They were consistent with the gratuitous amounts of nudity, but now it doesn't seem so much like serving character aesthetics and proclivities and more like "gotta keep up with season one."

The costuming and character details are noticably less impressive than S1 and far more comical. For example, why are all the women who are portrayed as pregnant super pregnant? Did they all share one prop bump?

Also, Ciri emerging from fully submersed in the bath with full makeup still on is laughable.

Babies who look like their hair was frizzed in a socket right before they applied elven ears, also laughable.

Speaking of makeup and incongruous scenarios, why does Yennefer look cleaned up with straightened hair (her hair is naturally wavy and tumultuous) after being a prisoner of war and before the scene in which she bathes? Then she remains wet looking as she strolls around in her bathing robe/busty dress casually walking through halls and prison cells, and then she's wearing a proper traveling cloak, only to change for whatever reason into a shrug of some sort to an outdoor execution whilst everyone else is in full overcoat and full length dress. It's strange character choice where continuity and costuming are concerned.

They call Yennefer blind more than once (Fringilla, Cahir, maybe others) in the show, which is aggravating. As if to say "we scrolled the original material where she loses her sight and becomes weary of the dark but decided to go in a different direction. Bye."

Okay, allow me to elaborate more on the above point of contention. I enjoy hearing source references in the series, "magic like a barbed arrow" "I owe him what he owes me, nothing more, nothing less" "what is between you / Longing, regret, hope, and fear." Etc. What I hate is when these things get inserted for service, but without the respect for context, using it in a manner contrary to itself. For example, when Yarpen asks "The girl, yours?" And Geralt says "Mine," it's a source scene but it's used to set up trouble between Yen and Geralt. When Yen says "I know I've hurt you...but I wish for it to begin again" it's from a Beltane scene where they mutually talk about love, except in the tv series contorts it so that Geralt says, "I don't forgive you." Due to Yen's betrayal which comes from a black door scene that was a originally a flippin' dream sequence in the novels that never comes to pass. Rags.

They dangle a teaser about Falka (and fire, and burning, and burning down the world) through the creeper known as Stregobor — Falka should have taken more than his hands — and then do nothing to develop it, and then bait and switch to tease the Wild Hunt that apparently baba yaga is a part of. Your red herring references are tedious.

Seriously, was it some sort of running joke to tally how many rodents we could i-spy in each episode? And Ciri hasn't even joined up with the Rats yet...or is there a gameplay reference I don't know about? We've gone from one rat kabob in season 1 to at least a dozen live cameos.

They had such good source material about Lara Dorren and Ithlinne's prophecy, how'd they muck about with that so much?

They had such good source material about the memorial obelisk at Sodden Hill and the names of the fourteen and Geralt's grief over Yen as he meets a vision death — the second edge of destiny that dogs his steps — in the guise of a woman, in the mist on Sodden Hill and asks for her to take him by the hand, only to discover that Yen's name isn't among the dead mages, it's Yoel Grethen. How, in the first five minutes of the season, did they parse that down to four lines of dialogue between Tissaia and Geralt (was it for expediency? I don't understand, you could prioritize so many other cuts over something this crucial) so that it felt like nothing? I felt more sorrow over Roach when Geralt says "enjoy your last walk across the meadow and through the mist. Be not afraid of her, for she is your friend." I'm glad they kept a sincere emotional beat somewhere amongst the screaming in the show...but that was intended to be sorrow for Yen.

And then they go and use the obelisk memorial as a means to ceremonialize some weird congregation of kings (which, considering you're still fighting a war of northern kingdoms vs southern Nilfgaard, is logistically stupid f***ery) for a beheading demonstration that doesn't happen, all so that Yennefer can save herself? We knew that she could do that already, but thanks for taking her magic away as a means to try and sow some BS grain of doubt. (<_<)

And Geralt's reunion with Yen... that's all the dialogue and stage direction we get? Is this even real?

Listen, at the risk of sounding petty and picky, I know Netflix The Witcher is an adaptation from the books and games (admittedly I'm familiar with the former and only barely acquainted with the latter), which means they don't have to stick to either and can make **** up so long as the creative team can suspend disbelief for the audience. I don't give a mouse turd about that. BUT follow the continuity of the world building you created, whether it's story or visuals, whatever. From the little things: don't change Ciri's eyebrows from blond to brown, don't change Triss' hair from brown to auburn even if it's from the novels and gameplay. To the big things: they made Cintra look unchanged, I quote, "how could it look the same," and habitable to a surge of incoming elves, just a few months after it was sacked in nearly burned to the ground? Ex) based on the animated timeline, Kaer Mohren was sacked a hundred years ago and in all the winters the witchers never patched it up to look the same, they lived around it. Back to Cintra, more to the point, why would they want to make it look the same? Surely Nilfgaard would want to have their influence, or the influx of elves would want to restore it to it's Xintrean roots and erase any human revisions. You make a stylistic or storytelling decision, stick with it unless you work the change in logically to serve a purpose.

Also, I know the pandemic interfered with production in all sorts of ways. So visually I expect and accept comprises in production value. What's not easily acceptable — and which I keenly felt— is a compromise in conceptual quality, in dialogue, in episodic plot layering, in the weaving of storylines towards a goal/throughline, etc. Even in a pandemic, a compelling story can be told with two characters, intent filled dialogue, and a camera. I didn't feel nearly as compelled as season 1.

So Netflix cast everyone, and tried to juggle 10 character arcs with variable rates of success —even Lydia, who is originally introduced as mute and gets her backstory laid out before us— except you couldn't show Phillipa Eilhart until episode 8 (what was the purpose of such a late reveal?) and therefore Dijkstra and Dara have to talk to an owl the whole time? Psssht.

They had such good source material about Istredd and Geralt from "A Shard of Ice" and then just used Istredd as a means of convenience to reveal that Yen's alive. Wot? Jaskier could, and in my opinion should, have been the best character for that. I grant them this: they're trying to use Istredd far more than he actually appears, which is good because I think he's a compelling character... if I felt like they knew what they were doing with him.

For f***'s sake, why would they take Yen's power away from her after all that build up last season: "forget the bottle, let your chaos explode" only to mess around and say "oh, that chaos wasn't really yours when you sacrificed to save the continent. You spent more than you drew from your source, now face the consequences in order to serve the plot to sacrifice for Ciri too" so you can prove your love in the time smash of an episode. Yennefer deserves better.

Idc about this deathless mother "forest hut" baba yaga (who apparently joins the wild hunt) nonsense. Geralt telling Jaskier: "I may just have to kill [Yennefer]." Big BS. There's a part in the books where Geralt questions Yen's allegiance, believing they were betrayed all while she's captive and tortured, but this manifestation is horse****. Source: Yen loves Ciri like a daughter, and Geralt entrusts Ciri to her care for safety and training with no animus between them except in a letter when he calls her "dear friend" and she roasts him for it. He tells Yen he loves her for goodness sake, which is more than the show dared. The adaptation ignores this, completely going against it in fact when he puts sword to throat and later says, "I don't forgive you." It's not an artistic interpretation when there's an absolute perversion of her character's feelings towards Ciri and Geralt! And to top it off she doggedly follows Geralt trying to fruitlessly explain, practically groveling. Ridiculous. I'm glad they still referenced the theme of "something more" but the means they used toward that end contorted it's meaning so much it's IN. FREAKIN.' RUIN. Like Kaer Mohren.

Idc about Francesca Findabair and her pure blood elf baby, or her needless revenge, or her friendship with Fringilla.

So, you can make time to tell a monologue in detail about the events of season one to loop in the audience who hasn't seen it (in my opinion: why, it's only 8 episodes, tell them to put in the hours or watch the 6 min recap, don't putt about spending a limited amount of new episode time on something that doesn't move things forward) but you can't connect the dots or show how you captured Cahir? Or what motivated Vilgefortz to go on a killing spree in last season's cliffhanger, for those unaware of book!Vilgefortz, being shady AF. We don't revisit fully formed shadiness till 2x07, again with ubiquitous screaming. I'm very confused on your storytelling priorities right now. Again, I don't give a mouse turd if you go off book, but make your additions of the same mettle as the stories that you used from the source materials.

The fact that all these trained witchers, who have amulets that hum in the presence of magic, don't sleep with them on and keep one eye open with magic buzzing about them in the form of a possessed Ciri is maddness. They just get slaughtered in the night because it serves the story's dramatic effect. Very GoT-final-season-BS.

The velociraptor-looking basilisk creatures in Kaer Mohren, that whole final battle really felt very anticlimactic. I mean seriously: dinos?

Season 1 could, for better or worse, stand on it's own, and every episode served a distinct purpose that could be woven together by the end. Season 2 cannot, and I feel has pacing issues were some episodes are trying to tackle too much and should be split, while others have more filler than I care for.

WTF happened? I need Jaskier to write a few fix-it ballads please.