#lisa From Tv Host to Mom

[saintmeghanmarkle]

📋 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐌 𝐯𝐢𝐚 𝐀𝐑𝐎, 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐏𝐨𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝟒𝟎𝐱𝟒𝟎 📋

📌 ARO jam recipients (as of May 27th, 2024)

Tracy Robbins (designer, wife of Paramount Pictures CEO Brian Robbins) *

Delfina Balquier (Argentine socialite, wife of Nacho Figueras) * and Nacho Figueras (professional polo player) *

Kelly Mckee Zajfen (friend, Alliance of Moms founder) *

Mindy Kaling (actress and comedian) *

Tracee Ellis Ross (actress, daughter of Diana Ross)

Abigail Spencer (friend, Suits co-star) *

Chrissy Teigen (television personality, wife of John Legend)

Kris Jenner ('Momager') *

Garcelle Beauvais (actress, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) *

Heather Dorak (friend, yoga instructor) *

📌 Archetypes podcast guests

Serena Williams 🏆

Mariah Carey 👑

Mindy Kaling (actress and comedian) *

Margaret Cho (comedian and actress)

Lisa Ling (journalist and tv personality)

Deepika Padukone (Indian actress)

Jenny Slate (actress and comedian)

Constance Wu (actress)

Paris Hilton (entrepreneur, socialite, activist)

Iliza Shlesinger (comedian and actress)

Issa Rae (actress and writer)

Ziwe (comedian and writer)

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau (former wife of Canadian PM Trudeau)

Pamela Adlon (actress)

Sam Jay (comedian and writer)

Mellody Hobson (President and co-CEO of $14.9B Ariel Investments, Chairwoman of Starbucks Corporation, wife of George Lucas)

Victoria Jackson (entrepreneur, wife of Bill Guthy: founder of Guthy-Renker, leading direct marketing company)

Jameela Jamil (actress, television host)

Shohreh Aghdashloo (Iranian and American actress)

Michaela Jaé Rodriguez (actress and singer)

Candace Bushnell (Sex and The City writer)

Trevor Noah (South African comedian)

Andy Cohen (talk show host)

Judd Apatow (director, producer, screenwriter)

source

📌 40x40 participants

Adele 🌟

Amanda Gorman (poet and activist)

Amanda Nguyen (activist)

Ayesha Curry (actress, cooking television personality)

Ciara (singer and actress)

Deepak Chopra (author and alternative medicine advocate)

Dr. Nadine Burke Harris (former Surgeon General of California)

Elaine Welteroth (former Editor-in-Chief of Teen Vogue)

Dr. Ibram X Kendi (professor and anti-racism activist)

Fernando Garcia (creative director of Oscar de la Renta)

Gabrielle Union (actress)

Gloria Steinem (feminist journalist and social-political activist)

Hillary Clinton (politician, wife of former US President Bill Clinton)

Katie Couric (journalist) *

Kerry Washington (actress)

Chef José Andrés (founder of World Central Kitchen)

Melissa McCarthy (actress)

Princess Eugenie (member of British Royal Family)

Priyanka Chopra (actress)

Sarah Paulson (actress)

Sofia Carson (actress)

Sophie Grégoire Trudeau (former wife of Canadian PM)

Stella McCartney (fashion designer, daughter of Paul McCartney)

Dr. Theresa "Tessy" Ojo - CBE, FRSA (Diana Award CEO)

Tracee Ellis Ross (actress, daughter of Diana Ross)

Unconfirmed - Edward Enninful (former Editor-in-Chief of British Vogue)

Unconfirmed - Daniel Martin (makeup artist) *

An official list of all "40x40" participants was never disclosed

source 1 // source 2 // source 3

📌 Notes:

Names with an asterisk (*) indicate that they follow ARO on Instagram

Notably missing from these lists: Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos and wife Nicole Avant, Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez, Beyoncé, Tina Knowles, Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Kevin Costner, Ellen DeGeneres, Portia Rossi *, Brooke Shields, John Travolta, Kelly Rowland, Holly Robinson Peete, Misan Harriman *, Michael Bublé

Wedding guests missing from these lists: Jessica Mulroney, George and Amal Clooney, David and Victoria Beckham, Idris Elba and Sabria Dhowre, James Blunt and Sofia Wellesley, Janina Gavankar, Elton John and David Furnish, James Corden and Julia Carey, Patrick J. Adams and the rest of the cast of Suits, Joss Stone, Tom Hardy and Charlotte Riley, Carey Mulligan and Marcus Mumford [Source]

Sunshine Sachs must've called in a LOT of favors to get so many famous names on board the Archetypes Podcast and the 40x40 project. Vanity projects that went... nowhere.

Without Sunshine Sachs, IMO it's highly unlikely that M will ever be able to reach the same level of celebrity access on her own.

If there are any names missing from these lists, please comment below 👇

Post link

author: SeptièmeSens

submitted: May 27, 2024 at 06:44PM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[mulderscully]

I’m not the same anon but about TS and Ana (I’m brazilian) she only donated to Ana’s family and had them at the concert after people were getting mad and vocal at her not doing anything. She didn’t mention Ana’s name in her statement via instagram story and the Bigger Than the Whole Sky dedicatory was implicit, I have a friend who was there and Taylor didn’t even say a word she just let people assume it was it. It took her a whole week to donate the money meanwhile Ana’s mom was on several tv +

+ channels crying and asking for help because they could’t afford to transport Ana’s body back home, the fans had to raise the money themselves. This is coming from someone who is or was fan, as a brazilian this changed permanently how I see her so I just wanted to give you the all the info in case you didn’t know because no one outside Brazil seemed to be telling the whole story

i don't think that's acceptable, of course not.

however it feels important to mention, in spirit of the original ask, the person who died at the parade was also latina— her name is lisa lopez-galvan and hosted a radio show focused on tejano music.

hopefully taylor learned from past mistakes, but i have no idea what her thought process actually is and i don't condone her actions or inactions.

[fkyumerica]

Thu 4:08 PM

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=XL4FWlhzWUo the head looked like boobs on the head, or ass head, hhe split it down and apart to reshape it

Scientists defy humanity, merging animal and human DNA

bitches on the beach

her and her mom

we had to get a new circut breaker

and the guy pissed and left

a black guy

the whole box

oour cable went out in half the house

the stove kept going out in half the house

bitch brought it from gysers they throw trees in it

beer

the alcohol thing was that

and

nuke it

and

they wernt to go to ny

or east

what is it

those guys lied

gay

on tv

wtf is it

heard calls

came over

gay old men found them

apes

wwalk in the house and talk too

i was laughing so hard

he look it

yea

boom

chuck brought one

aint he normal

yea

i was gonna fuck her

he said it

bitch be brought, she'd fuck hers too for fun

andddd

black women let anyone rape anyone and their sons do it too wont raise them

some nger, will fuck them around themselves like nicki minaj

oh black cock kong

and scream it all day

in the desert

and drugs i dunno he had it in him

star ships

and

a old black woman sat on me at the doctors today fucking me

turned around

from a black guy a seat next to me

and no one cares

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=zkXdA15kC0Y look how big this drag queen is. i just keep walking and walking and walking with apes. i walk with you and watch you i am your wife.

Inside Inhumane Prison Units Only For Serial Killers

yea wait for execution

him/her in front of the rest, then the rest

in that room

c

jerk off and leave

this was one of the twins, stephanie was the tv show host in full house too, it is her

lori's cocaine friend and wife

misina slant r eyes

and in grade school still, rachel and ?

brie and brandy the two guys

ms.sisk brought in

i can look in the yearbook later

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=P5s5JdKy0N4 she mated with both those brothers

Slipknot's Corey Taylor Reveals He Had a Mental Health 'Breakdown': 'I'm Getting the Help I Need'

lisa simpson

keep the family together we got scotsland

and alcohol

sports games dont go

we whores

dads go

with kids hahhaa

fuck him!

he meant it

kids fuck my dad

no

we're living next to  till  do it

alcohol here's alcohol

handed it to chris

anad then house party we're in it

then at his moms too

and her perfume

wtf made it

cool

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=9ReHZhGy8vY and hey panters :27 seconds, the brothers

Short clip from Watch It Go

panteras

wolverines

they were that in the movie

call us a animal pack

then we'll go at  later if  dont want some wolverines now

Thu 7:05 PM

https://www.tube.com/watch?v=Ss14ghNJH5c he had to have her hold onto that guys cock hey guys cappas love  too

Forensic Scientist Met Mysterious Deaths and Used Exorcism to Solve Bizarre Cases |EVIL Season 1

no eyes too push em in

they fall out right?

and their wives died have mine

and i have r kids r house

r ramses

and im eating it

[lisainthecityshow]

Want to know what all it takes to become a successful TV host? Watch Lisa in the City show to know what it’s like filming a reality show.

[janicho88]

Falling For You -Part 3

November

Pairing- Eventual Dean x Female!Reader,  

Word Count-3546

Warning- Fluff. Mention of serial killers. Still burning slow. 

A/N- I had an idea for a one shot, and giving a little backstory to Dean and the Reader meeting took on a life of its own. We should hit the one shot part around chapter 20, oops?  This story is AU, and un beta’d.  Thank you @waywardbeanie​ and @whatareyousearchingfordean​ for helping me keep these 2 characters in line and letting me bounce ideas off of you. 

 Summary- After being burned before you had sworn off finding love for now. Coming home from work one night there is a strange man pounding on your door.  Neither of you knew what this meeting would lead to.

Series Masterlist

Do you ever notice how quickly time goes once October hits?  In a blink November is over and suddenly Christmas is here and then we are ringing in the new year.   You aren’t even sure you remember much of the first two weeks of November this year. You did remember you had been out helping Dean a number of nights.  Work was finally back under control , but you needed to get a list around to start on your Holiday baking for the first weekend of December, Thanksgiving was next week. It seemed like you couldn’t figure out which direction to go in. 

Dean had gone to see a few houses and asked you to go with him for another opinion.  Both of you fell in love with the sixth house.  It was a two story single family home, you would have killed for the kitchen.  So much counter space for baking or cooking.  It only needed a few touch ups here or there, maybe some new paint in some of the rooms eventually, but it was move-in ready.  The previous owners already moved out of town and took all their belongings with them.  Dean had been working with a bank to be approved for a loan before finding the house, plus he had saved what he had when his house sold.  The closing was done by Friday the end of the second week.

While Dean was busy finalizing paperwork on his house, you were at your desk on your lunch hour looking through pinterest for new cookie or bar ideas. A familiar voice sounded behind you.  

“I’m back bitches!”  Turning around you saw the fiery redhead who was in charge of IT for the company.  Charlie used to work out of this office, but they had moved her to the new clinic that had opened an hour away for the last two months.  

“Things are running smoothly over there, two weeks without any problems, I get to come back to you guys now.”  She walked over to her familiar work area and tapped the Hermione figure sitting by her monitor and asked if she missed her.  “So what have I missed here?”  You and Monica filled her in, and introduced her to Anna when she came back.  The rest of the day passing fairly quickly. 

Making a quick dinner that night you received a phone call from your mom.  Her older sister had fallen and hurt her hip.  She wasn’t going to be able to travel down for Thanksgiving, so your parents were going up there.  This way your mom could help her around the house and with the meal.  Your cousins were a bit lazy, they weren’t going to do it.  She asked if you wanted to go with them, and after thinking about it for a moment, told her not to worry about you.  Your aunt's house wasn’t very big, and some other family was going up also.  That was going to be too much close family togetherness for you.

 Wiping down your counter you heard a tap at the door, slipping on shoes and grabbing your purse you headed out.  Jess and Dean were out in the hall waiting for you, the two of you offered to help Dean clean tonight before things were moved in tomorrow.  Sam was working a big case and stuck at work this evening.  The house was in good shape, it just needed a good pre move in clean.

“So Dean,” Jess started talking when you got in the car.  “Since you are going to have the most room, how about you host Thanksgiving next week?”

“What?”  He was a bit caught off guard by that.

“Your parents are coming up, so are mine, that’s seven of us in our apartment trying to cook a big dinner, you have a huge new kitchen and a dining room.”

“One, do you really trust me to make Thanksgiving dinner?”

“I didn’t say you had to make it all, we’ll help, you just have the space to have it at.”

Sitting at a red light Dean closed his eyes and let out a sigh, “If we can have the house usable by Tuesday, fine.”

“Good, Sam also told your parents they were staying at your house.”  Rolling his eyes Dean knew it was pointless to respond.  Jess turned in her seat to see you in the back, “What are you doing for Thanksgiving, Y/N?”

“Usually we go to my grandparents, but my mom called tonight and my aunt got hurt so they are all going up to her house.  I’m just going to hang out at home, watch the parade, and be lazy.”

“Apparently I’m hosting Thanksgiving, come join us.”  Dean offered, glancing at you in the back.

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“You won’t be, Sam already did that when he has people staying at my house that I’m not even living in yet, without telling me.”

“Okay, if you are sure, thanks.  Just let me know what I can bring.”

“Pie, lots of pie,”

Dean had already taken cleaning supplies over to the house and the three of you decided to divide and conquer.  You took the kitchen and dining room, Jess and Dean split up the two upstairs bathrooms and the master bedroom and one of the guest rooms. Whoever finishes first would start in the living room.  These rooms would be used for his parents' visit and Thanksgiving, the other rooms would be tackled if there was time.  Walls, windows, doors all scrubbed down, floors vacuumed and mopped, kitchen cupboards all wiped out.  It took you guys a few hours and everyone was beat when you headed back to the apartment building.  Sam and Dean were renting a uhaul in the morning to get Dean’s stuff from storage, you made plans to ride over with Jess to help unpack. 

Back in your apartment you looked to see what you could whip up to take with you for breakfast.  Normal cinnamon rolls would take too long, and you didn’t have the energy, but cinnamon biscuits were doable.  You made a double batch, and prepped the icing.  Figuring you would warm them in the morning and top them then.  

Dressed in a comfy old t-shirt and worn jeans sweatshirt sitting with the biscuits,  you were ready when Jess came to get you.  “Oh my, what is that smell?”

“I figured we would be working up an appetite today, so I brought breakfast rolls. Do you want one for the road?”

“Uh, yes please.”  Both of you laughing, she grabbed one out of the container while waiting for the elevator.

“Yep, Dean’s right.  Girl you can bake.”

The guys pulled up with the uhaul just as you were getting out of the car.  “Ready to start,” she asked.

“Not really, you?”

“I wish I was back in bed.”

“What are you two laughing at?” Sam inquired leaning down to give Jess a quick kiss.

“Just wishful dreams,” she told him.

Dean unlocked the house while Sam opened the truck.  They let you and Jess take some boxes, while they moved some of the furniture that came on this load.  Thankfully Dean had somewhat labeled the boxes as he packed so you knew where to drop what.  His labels gave you an idea on what was important to the man: kitchen crap, bathroom junk, living room stuff, bed things, other room bed things, you just didn’t know what was in each of those boxes, but clearly knew what was in the VINYLS, TOOLS, and MOVIES boxes.

Dean had kept most of the furniture from his old place, but did have a few new things coming.  Such as a master bedroom set, and new couch and dining room table. Those were going to be delivered Tuesday.  Jess told you he didn’t want things that reminded him of Lisa, so he sold anything that did when he moved.  

Cas came over to help in the early afternoon, bring some pizzas as an apology for missing the morning work.  The biscuits you made long gone.  Things were coming along nicely, Dean wasn’t super picky on where things went right now.  Dean gave you the job on organizing the kitchen, he said you would know best.  His only request being the coffee items were close to each other and easy to get too.  He would figure out where you put anything else later.  Placing his old coffee maker next to the plug between the sink and refrigerator, the glasses and mugs in the cabinet next to the sink and and coffee and filters above the machine. 

Jess was helping Sam set up the guest bedroom and washing the sheets for that room and Dean’s once his bed arrives.  Cas and Dean ran the wires for his tv and speakers for his record player.  Dean deemed those two things most important.  Everything was out of storage and into the house Saturday evening, put away was another story.  You offered to help on Sunday, but Dean said he wasn’t going to work on it then, taking one day of the weekend not to work and unwind a little.  He still had a few things at Sam and Jess’ place to get packed up at some point.

Thanksgiving week was always a nice work week since you were only open 3 days.  Monday and Tuesday evening you had helped at Dean’s and it was ready for Thanksgiving, his parents were arriving sometime Wednesday. 

When you left his place Tuesday night you headed home alone.  Dean was all moved in, he was out of the apartment across the hall.  It made you kinda sad to think about.  It’s going to be weird not running into him in the hall, or have him randomly come over when he was giving his brother some space.  

You opted for staying home Wednesday night instead of hitting the bar with Charlie and her friends, and decided to get the pies made.  You went with two traditional pumpkin, and one apple since Dean liked the last one so much.  When you were at the store you also picked up the ingredients to make a strawberry pretzel jello.   

Thursday morning you watched the parade in comfy pj’s on your couch with a glass of hot chocolate.  Unlike Dean coffee wasn’t your thing.  But with the chilly weather you liked something hot in the mornings. When it was warmer you would enjoy your weekend morning drinks on your balcony.

Dinner was supposed to be at two, but you headed over before noon to help with the preparations.  You put on leggings and a long sweater, Jess had told you it was more about comfort than fashion today. 

It was your turn to knock on Dean’s door for once, a pretty blonde woman answering the door.  She had a big smile on her face that turned to surprise when she saw you.

“Hello, can I help you?”

“Hi, I’m Y/N.  Dean and Jess invited me, I came over early to help with dinner.”

“Hey Y/N!”  Dean came up behind her with a big smile on his face.  “Come on in.”

“Hi Dean, I came to help, brought pies, pumpkin, apple, and a jello”  

“You don’t have to help,” he said while ushering you inside, “you did that enough with moving this week.  Y/N this is my mom Mary, mom this is Y/N.  She actually lives in the apartment across from Sam.”

“Nice to meet you dear.  I’m sorry, I was expecting Sam at the door, I didn’t know anyone else was coming.”

Getting to the kitchen Dean opened up the pies and you saw him hide one of them in the cupboard.  Shaking your head, you look around at the food out on the counters.  

“What kind of jello is this?”  Dean asked looking at the cake pan you set down.

“It’s a pretzel strawberry jello or some people call it a salad.  I didn’t think you would be too fond of that term though.”

Dean looked at you before looking back down, “Pretzel jello?  I see the jello and strawberries, and something solid under that but it doesn’t look like pretzels.  Where’s the salad part? What are you trying to feed me sweetheart?”

Rolling your eyes and shaking your head “There isn’t actual lettuce in it Dean, this time salad is referring to a side.  The solid layer is cream cheese cool whip mix, the Pretzel is the baked crust.  It’s a combination of salty and sweet.  Just try a bite, I’m not trying to sneak anything past you.  I promise it won't hurt you as much as Sam's veggie bacon.” 

Dean's face grew serious, “I thought we agreed that we don't speak of that fraud, it's not bacon. I need actual meat.”

Laughing you pat his back, “I know, I'm sorry. Now you have your own kitchen to cook real bacon.”

“Yeah or I could come to yours and let you do the work.”  He said with a smile your way

“You are always welcome at my place.”

“Now that we are done discussing the jello, what do you need me to do?”

“Y/N, seriously you don’t have to help.”

“I want to, I like cooking almost as much as baking.”

Dean moved over to the list of food Jess had made up the other day, “Turkey is stuffed and in the oven, potatoes are boiling,  the corncake hasn’t been started yet, neither has the salad, rolls are just waiting to bake.”

“Well Sam wanted the salad so he can do that, I’ll get the corncake going and in the oven.”

Sam, Jess, and her parents arrived a short time later.  The guys all ended up in the living room watching football and left you four ladies in the kitchen.  Mary started to ask Dean where his mixer was, but he told her to talk to you since you organized the kitchen.  While working on last minute touches Mary turned and looked at you.

“How long have you and Dean been dating?”

Jess started laughing while you stuttered out an answer, “Oh, uh no we, we aren’t, we’re just friends.”

“They are both in denial about having any feelings for each other.”

“Jess!  There are no feelings to be in denial about, we’re just friends, that’s it.”

“I’ll let you know when they catch up with what the rest of us know, Mary.” You turned back to setting the table shaking your head at her.

Dinner was great, and the conversation was even better.  Dean’s dad was a little intimidating at first, but grew on you as the meal progressed.  Dean sat next to you and before he took a bite of his jello he picked up the bowl and looked it over and made you promise him he wouldn’t regret it.  He took his time chewing, bobbing his head around while you awaited the final verdict.

“It’s actually pretty good.” You just gave him a little nod, holding back your laugh at his behavior before going back to your own food.  

The guys migrated back to the television after a while, and the four of you cleaned up.  Dean came in a few times, but you sent him back out.  When the first game ended the men came back for dessert.   Jess brought out pumpkin bread and apple crisp her and her mom made and Dean carried the pies over.

“Y/N made pumpkin pie,”  Dean told the others.

Leaning over to whisper in his ear, “You keeping the apple for yourself?”

Giving you a little grin he nodded,  “You know it sweetheart.”  Laughing you didn’t notice Mary watching your exchange across the table. 

 Looking through the ads with Jess you made plans to go out with her and her mom the next morning.  Mary was watching the two of you, and you asked if she wanted to join. Jess quickly looked up and told Mary how much fun it would be if the four of you went together.

Sam tried to talk everyone into playing a new game he picked up. When he finally got everyone, even Dean to agree to join he went out to the car to retrieve it.  Coming back in empty handed swearing he put it in the car, but unable to find it.  He went looking through some of Dean’s things for the deck of cards he swore he didn’t have striking out again.  Dean told him if he wanted to play games he needed to host Thanksgiving and went back to watching the football game.  Jess was sitting beside you unusually quiet the whole time.

“Did you know he forgot the game?” You whispered to her.

“He didn’t forget it, who do you think took it out of the car?”  Quickly covering your laugh with a cough she continued. “It was a trivia game about serial killers that used a courtroom type setup.  The box said something about cross examining, objecting and redirecting.  It seriously wasn’t happening, I get enough lawyer talk at home.”   

At five am the next morning you decided Jess had too much energy.  She had you leaving the apartment building by 3:30, then picked up Mary before hitting the mall.  You drove the 40 minutes to Ann Arbor because Jess wanted to go to the bigger mall.  Luckily the temperature was in the high 30’s this morning and you didn’t have to wait outside long.  There are years you have stood outside in the snow waiting to get in a store.

You had a few things on your list, but no clue for some people.  You weren't great at coming up with gifts, especially at this hour. You walked past one store front before stopping abruptly, and Jess walked into your back.

“Sorry, I wasn't thinking.  I’m going to run in here real quick, I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute.”  The display in the window made you think of Dean and you went into get him a house warming present.

Stopping in the food court for a break later, Mary had a question for you, “Call me crazy, but didn’t you say something about apple pie yesterday when you arrived?”

You started laughing, “ I did, Dean apparently hid it when he took it to the kitchen.  He had some last time I made one and decided he didn’t want to share this one.”

Mary was talking to you more about Dean.  “He seems so much happier now than when he left.  He was in a dark place for a while, that girl hurt him bad.  I ran into her in town, and she had the nerve to talk to me like everything was fine.  I gave her a piece of my mind and John had to pull me away.”  She paused for a minute before continuing, “Dean has mentioned hanging out with a new friend a number of times I’ve talked to him.  I think that person has made a big difference in his happiness, and I hope they stick around for a long time.” 

You weren’t really sure what to say, you gave her a little smile, and told her Dean was an amazing guy who didn’t deserve to be treated like he had been. 

After running errands on Saturday you stopped over at Dean’s.  He was surprised to see you at the door and invited you into the living room where he was talking with his parents.

“Oh, I’m sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to drop something off.”

“You’re fine sweetie, you aren’t interrupting anything.  We were just chit chatting, but we should actually start to get some of our things around.  We fly out tomorrow morning.  John, we should go pick up the room, and pack what we don’t need tonight.”

“I did that earlier.’

“Well you should double check it, just in case.  You two talk, we’ll be back later.”  Pushing John out of the room they headed upstairs.

“I didn’t mean to chase them away, I just wanted to drop off your house warming gift.”

“Thank you, you really didn’t have to get me anything.  Your help was a huge present,”  Dean told you, taking the wrapped box out of your hands.

“I wanted to, just open it.”

“Oh Sweetheart, she is a beauty.”  You had gotten him a new Keurig coffee maker, this one could make a whole pot, or a single pod.  He mentioned he had been fighting with his old one, and you knew how important coffee was to him, especially in the morning.  

“This way, you can make yourself a single cup if you just can’t wait for the whole pot to finish, or if you want one later.”

“This is great, thanks Y/N.  You did well, especially for a non-coffee drinker,”  he finished with a teasing grin. 

“I should get going, let you enjoy your last night with your parents.”

“You don’t have to, Sam and Jess should be over soon, her parents left today.”

“Thanks, but I don’t want to interfere with family time.  Tell your parents it was nice meeting them, I hope they have a safe trip back.  I’ll see you around Dean.”

Part 4 

Thank you for reading!

Tags  @talesmaniac89 @katehuntington @winchest09 @flamencodiva @whatareyousearchingfordean @waywardbeanie @deanwanddamons @smol-and-grumpy @emoryhemsworth @anathewierdo @malfoysqueen14 @superfanficnatural @jensengirl83 @atc74 @sandlee44 @akshi8278  @fantasydevil2002

Falling For You tags- @halesandy @abuavnee​ @hearteyes-j2 @vicmc624 @440mxs-wife @wonder-cole  @maralisa124

[tabloidtoc]

Life & Style, April 26

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Khloe Kardashian is a total fake

Page 1: Lady Gaga in a wedding dress on the set of House of Gucci in Rome

Page 2: Contents

Page 4: The Top 10 SAG Awards Looks -- Mindy Kaling, Jamie Chung, Amy Adams, Sarah Levy, Kerry Washington

Page 5: Kaley Cuoco, Nicole Kidman, Natalie Morales, Viola Davis, Lily Collins

Page 6: Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen celebrated their 12-year anniversary, posting heartfelt tributes to each other on social media, but their relationship hasn't always been so rock solid -- Tom admitted that Gisele has made a lot of sacrifices for their marriage and she hated living in Boston because she had no friends there and felt so alone because Tom was never around; things got so bad they sought counseling, which was the wake-up call that Tom needed -- he promised to make changes and he agreed to quit the Patriots and sign with a team in a location that was more desirable to Gisele and Tom stuck to his word and he came the new quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and since moving to Florida, Tom and Gisele have never been happier and they have date nights every week and always make sure to communicate -- it wasn't easy, but they're both really proud of how far they've come

Page 7: After multiple delays, David Schwimmer, Courteney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, Lisa Kudrow, Matthew Perry and Matt LeBlanc have finally filmed the highly anticipated Friends reunion special and they all got really emotional when they saw the set and being there brought back so many fond memories -- it's the first time in 17 years that fans will get to see the entire cast together since the show went off the air in 2004 -- afterwards, everyone went to Jen's house for dinner -- each of the stars was paid $2.5 million to appear in the special

* Throwback -- Dolly Parton in 1965

* Biggest Spenders of the Week -- Bobby Flay, Aaron Rodgers, Vanessa Hudgens, Angelina Jolie

Page 8: Drew Barrymore revealed that, after three divorces and a string of failed romances, she's sworn off marriage altogether -- Drew doesn't need a man to feel complete and she's happiest hanging out with family and friends -- if the right guy comes along later down the line, great, but for now, she's content with being single

* Becoming one of the most sought-after stars in Hollywood has gone straight to Ana de Armas' head -- the cast and crew are often left waiting for the actress to emerge from her trailer on the set of the new action thriller The Gray Man -- Ana's got a lot going on and she's juggling several different projects, as well as photo shoots and phone calls with her team and people don't stay mad at her for too long, but they have nicknamed her Ana de Diva, but she isn't upset by the scathing moniker because she's a big name now, and with that comes a lot of responsibility and the way she sees it, there are worse things than being called a diva

Page 10: The Week in Photos -- Orlando Bloom got a surprise visit from the Easter Bunny

Page 11: Jennifer Lopez in jeans at a photoshoot for InStyle, Priyanka Chopra dancing around her backyard in a bright yellow dress

Page 12: Animal Tales -- Gilles Marini posed for a pic with his African grey parrot Anya, singer Madison Beer leaned in for a kiss from a caramel-colored stallion, Kate Beckinsale's feline Clive seemed less than thrilled when Kate strapped him to her chest in a carrier

Page 13: Kaia Gerber and her precious pooch Milo snuggled up in bed, Malin Akerman and a goat

Page 16: Stars Behaving Badly -- Lisa Vanderpump let her parched dog drink from her water glass at a restaurant in West Hollywood, Maisie Williams went topless under a translucent jacket while shooting a new TV series about the Sex Pistols in London, HGTV Design Star host Allison Holker used a megaphone to give out instructions to Property Brother Jonathan Scott on the show's finale, Calvin Klein wasn't worried about stains when he shoved a pile of spaghetti into his mouth at West Hollywood's Mauro Cafe

Page 18: Say What?! Helena Bonham Carter who turns 55 in May, Chelsea Handler who admits she consumes mushrooms almost every day, Olivia Munn who is the proud pet parent of rescue dogs Frankie and Chance, Melissa McCarthy on doing her own stunts in Thunder Force, Brian Tyree Henry on Godzilla vs. Kong co-star Millie Bobby Brown

Page 20: Pete Davidson has officially moved out of his mother's home and into a $1.2 million luxury high-rise condo on Staten Island, and it's all thanks to his new girl girlfriend, Bridgerton star Phoebe Dynevor -- the Saturday Night Live star showed off his two-bedroom, two-and-a-half bathroom bachelor pad during a Zoom call -- Phoebe is a down-to-earth girl, but she doesn't want to date a man who lives in his mom's basement and she thinks Pete's mom, Amy, is awesome and says it's a great thing that they're super close, but being in a long-distance relationship is difficult enough so Pete and Phoebe need some alone time when they're together, which was almost impossible with his mother hanging out upstairs -- Pete knew it was time; he just needed that gentle nudge

Page 21: Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell were spotted in NYC together, sparking speculation that the former Bachelor couple have rekindled their relationship -- the pair parted ways while the show was still airing after photos of the graphic designer at a plantation-themed college party in 2018 surfaced on social media -- Rachael made a mistake but she owned up to it and was willing to learn from it and it didn't change her feelings for Matt or vice versa and Matt was in love with Rachael too and he couldn't just turn those feelings off so no one would be surprised if they decided to reconcile

* Michael B. Jordan's girlfriend Lori Harvey was left reeling over photos of the actor sharing a smooch with Chante Adams on the set of their new movie A Journal for Jordan -- of course, they were just shooting a scene for the film, but Lori was still annoyed and she asked Michael about it, and he brushed it off and explained it was part of the job but Lori still has her suspicions and she's been thinking about dropping by the set just so she can keep a very close eye on them

Page 22: Cover Story -- Khloe Kardashian living a lie -- devastated by an unretouched photo leak, Khloe faces claims she's a body positivity hypocrite as she demands the viral image be taken down

Page 26: Alex Rodriguez to Ben Affleck: Back off my fiancee -- Ben gushes about ex Jennifer Lopez in a new article and A-Rod isn't happy about it (not quite Bennifer yet :)

Page 28: Prince Harry overwhelmed with work -- Harry struggles to adjust after trading his cushy royal role for a variety of normal gigs -- though his job for BetterUp is primarily remote, added stress comes in the form of Harry's Spotify and Netflix deals, plus growing charity work -- Harry finds all of his new, non-royal titles fresh and exciting, but while he's a great person, some in his inner circle say Harry's kind of dumb and worry whether he can handle the pressure

Page 30: Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli life after prison -- reunited following months spent behind bars, Lori and Mossimo try to pick up the pieces -- prison definitely took a toll on Mossimo and he doesn't expect sympathy, but he's still struggling to adjust to what he went through; it really broke him down and forced him to reevaluate his life

Page 32: Who Lives Here? Lil Nas X

Page 34: Entertainment

Page 35: Star Review -- Jonathan Van Ness

* As Seen On-Screen -- Meghan Markle wore a dark green coat while walking through Archie's Chick-Inn during her CBS interview which was J. Crew's Perfect Lightweight Jacket

Page 36: Go Green at Home -- reduce your carbon footprint even more with these eco-chic essentials, because our planet can use all the help it can get

Page 37: Beauty Crush -- get Jurnee Smollett's look from her makeup artist Emily Cheng for the SAG Awards

Page 38: Spring Beauty Must-Haves -- these product picks aim to reign as new-season favorites -- Camila Mendes

Page 40: Diva or Down-to-Earth? Rihanna bagged her own haul at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills -- down-to-earth, Shay Mitchell worked from home with help from her most trusted assistant daughter Atlas -- down-to-earth, during a photo shoot in Malibu Brooke Burke got a makeup refresh from a personal primper -- diva

Page 42: Social Stars Posts of the Week -- Sofia Vergara sneaking Heidi Klum a chip on the set of America's Got Talent, Neil Patrick Harris finished the first season of The Irregulars while quarantining in Toronto, Jared Leto pretended to pluck the moon straight out of the sky during a masked outing in Italy, Beyonce treated her daughter Blue Ivy to a meal at Nobu in Malibu

Page 44: Horoscope -- Taurus Gigi Hadid turned 26 on April 23

* They're Not Together, But They Should Be -- Capricorn Charles Melton and Virgo Zendaya

Page 48: What I'm Into -- Kameron Westcott of The Real Housewives of Dallas

[hallmark-movie-fanatics]

A Look at the slate of Countdown to Christmas Movies airing this year on the Hallmark Channel

Jingle Bell Bride  Premieres: Oct. 24 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Julie Gonzalo, Ronnie Rowe Jr.  Official synopsis: “Wedding planner Jessica Perez (Gonzalo) travels to a remote town in Alaska to find a rare flower for a celebrity client and is charmed by the small town during Christmas, as well as the handsome local (Rowe Jr.) helping her. 

Chateau Christmas  Premieres: Oct. 25 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Merritt Patterson, Luke Macfarlane  Official synopsis: “Margot (Patterson), a world-renowned pianist, returns to Chateau Newhaus to spend the holidays with her family and is reunited with an ex (Macfarlane) who helps her rediscover her passion for music.” 

Christmas With the Darlings Premieres: Oct. 31 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Katrina Law, Carlo Marks  Official synopsis: “Just before the holidays Jessica Lew (Law) is ending her tenure as the assistant to her wealthy boss to use her recently earned law degree within his company, but offers to help his charming, younger brother (Marks) as he looks after his orphaned nieces and nephew over Christmas.”

One Royal Holiday  Premieres: Nov. 1 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Laura Osnes, Aaron Tveit, Krystal Joy Brown, Victoria Clark, Tom McGowan  Official synopsis: “When Anna (Osnes) offers a stranded mother (Clark) and son (Tveit) shelter in a blizzard, she learns that they are the Royal Family of Galwick. Anna shows the Prince how they do Christmas in her hometown, encouraging him to open his heart and be true to himself.” 

Never Kiss a Man in a Christmas Sweater  Premieres: Nov. 7 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Ashley Williams, Niall Matter  Official synopsis: “Single mom Maggie (Williams) is facing Christmas alone until Lucas (Matter) crashes into her life and becomes an unexpected houseguest. Together they overcome Christmas while finding comfort in their growing bond.” 

On the 12th Date of Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 8 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Mallory Jansen, Tyler Hynes  Official synopsis: “Two seemingly incompatible game designers team up to create a romantic, city-wide scavenger hunt themed for The 12 Days of Christmas.” 

Christmas in Vienna  Premieres: Nov. 14 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Sarah Drew, Brennan Elliott  Official synopsis: “Jess (Drew), a concert violinist whose heart just isn’t in it anymore, goes to Vienna for a performance. While there, she finds the inspiration she has been missing, and a new love.” 

A Timeless Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 15 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Ryan Paevey, Erin Cahill Official synopsis: “Charles Whitley (Paevey) travels from 1903 to 2020 where he meets Megan Turner (Cahill), a tour guide at his historic mansion, and experiences a 21st century Christmas. 

A Nashville Christmas Carol  Premieres: Nov. 21 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Jessy Schram, Wes Brown, Wynonna Judd, Sara Evans, RaeLynn, Kix Brooks, Kimberly Williams-Paisley  Official synopsis: “Vivienne Wake (Schram), a workaholic television producer in charge of a country music Christmas special showcasing newcomer Alexis (Raelynn), never lets personal feelings get in the way of business. On the verge of accepting a job in L.A., and with the return of Gavin Chase (Brown) — her childhood sweetheart and manager to the special’s headliner, Belinda (Evans) — she receives a visit from the ghost of her recently deceased mentor, Marilyn (Judd). Her mentor warns her current path leads to a dark future and has recruited both the Spirit of Christmas Past (Brooks) and the Spirit of Christmas Present (Williams-Paisley) to help her get back on track. The Spirits’ time-jumping adventures force Vivienne to take hold of her life." 

The Christmas House  Premieres: Nov. 22 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Robert Buckley, Jonathan Bennett, Ana Ayora, Treat Williams, Sharon Lawrence, Brad Harder  Official synopsis: “Working through some difficult decisions, Wade family matriarch Phylis (Lawrence) and patriarch Bill (Williams), have summoned their two grown sons — TV star Mike Wade (Buckley) and Brandon Wade (Bennett) — home for the holidays. It is their hope that bringing the family together to recreate the Christmas house will help them find resolution and make a memorable holiday for the entire family and community. As Brandon and his husband Jake (Harder) make the trip home, they are anxiously awaiting a call about the adoption of their first child. Meanwhile, Mike reconnects with Andi (Ayora), his high school sweetheart.” 

New movie to be Announced  Premieres: Nov. 23 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: TBD Official synopsis: TBD 

A Christmas Tree Grows in Brooklyn  Premieres: Nov. 24 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Rochelle Aytes, Mark Taylor  Official synopsis: “Erin (Aytes) is planning the town’s Christmas celebration and must win over firefighter Kevin (Taylor) in order to obtain the beautiful spruce tree from his property for the celebration.” 

A Bright and Merry Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 25 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Alison Sweeney, Marc Blucas  Official synopsis: “Two competing TV hosts (Sweeney and Blucas) are sent to a festive small town over Christmas. While pretending to get along for the sake of appearances, they discover that there’s more to each other than they thought. 

Five Star Christmas (Working Title)  Premieres: Nov. 26 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Bethany Joy Lenz, Victor Webster  Official synopsis: “After moving back to her hometown, Lisa (Lenz) plots with her siblings and grandparents to help her father’s new bed and breakfast get a five-star review from an incognito travel critic (Webster), but ends up falling for him, not knowing he is the real critic.” 

Christmas by Starlight (Working Title)  Premieres: Nov. 27 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Kimberley Sustad, Paul Campbell  Official synopsis: “Annie (Sustad), a lawyer, must help her loved ones this holiday season. Her family’s restaurant, the Starlight Café, is slated for demolition. The heir to the development firm responsible, William (Campbell), makes her an unlikely proposition: He’ll spare the café if Annie spends the week ‘appearing’ as the legal counsel his father is demanding he hire in the wake of some costly mistakes.” 

Christmas Waltz  Premieres: Nov. 28 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Lacey Chabert, Will Kemp, JT Church  Official synopsis: “After Avery’s (Chabert) storybook Christmas wedding is canceled unexpectedly, dance instructor Roman (Kemp) helps her rebuild her dreams.” 

If I Only Had Christmas  Premieres: Nov. 29 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Candace Cameron Bure, Warren Christie Official synopsis: “At Christmas, a cheerful publicist (Bure) teams up with a cynical business owner (Christie) and his team to help a charity in need.” 

Christmas in Evergreen: Bells Are Ringing  Premieres: Dec. 5 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Holly Robinson Peete, Colin Lawrence, Rukiya Bernard, Antonio Cayonne, Barbara Niven  Official synopsis: “As Michelle’s (Peete) wedding approaches, Hannah (Bernard) steps up to help finish the launch of the new Evergreen museum while questioning her relationship and future with Elliot (Cayonne).” 

Christmas She Wrote  Premieres: Dec. 6 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Danica McKellar, Dylan Neal  Official synopsis: “When Kayleigh (McKellar), a romance writer, has her column canceled right before Christmas, she heads home to reconnect with her family. Kayleigh gets an unexpected visit from the man (Neal) who canceled her column who fights not only to bring her back to the publisher but also for her heart.” 

Cross Country Christmas  Premieres: Dec. 12 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Rachael Leigh Cook, Greyston Holt  Official synopsis: “Former classmates Lina (Cook) and Max (Holt) are traveling home for the holidays, until a storm hits and they have to work together to make it home in time, no matter the mode of transportation.” 

Christmas Carnival  Premieres: Dec. 13 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Stars: Tamera Mowry-Housley, Antonio Cupo  Official synopsis: “Emily (Mowry-Housley) is a top newscaster who has achieved her career dreams but still has regrets about the guy (Xavier) who got away five years earlier. When the Christmas carnival comes to town, a ride around the carousel takes her magically back in time to the carnival five years before... giving her a second chance at love before she must return to Christmas present.” 

A Christmas Carousel  Premieres: Dec. 19 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Rachel Boston, Neal Bledsoe  Official synopsis: “When Lila (Boston) is hired by the Royal Family of Marcadia to repair a carousel, she must work with the Prince (Bledsoe) to complete it by Christmas.” 

Love, Lights, Hanukkah!  Premieres: Dec. 20 at 8 p.m. ET/PT on Hallmark Channel Stars: Mia Kirshner, Ben Savage, Marilu Henner  Official synopsis: “As Christina (Kirshner) prepares her restaurant for its busiest time of year, she gets back a DNA test revealing that she’s Jewish. The discovery leads her to a new family and an unlikely romance over eight nights.” 

Info from the ew.com article, Link HERE 

[lovelyirony]

for @tsatskes, one of the best 

Maria Hill went to the library every day after school. Her dad couldn’t pick her up until five-thirty, when he got off work. This was fine with her, seeing as how she liked to read. 

Maria liked biographies. It was odd for a small child, but she liked them. She learned about politicians, musicians, criminals, and actresses. 

In a biography, most everything is laid bare if the person is dead. Sure the family, if living, has some say and control. But for the most part, you are learning everything about this person’s life. 

Including rumors that maybe weren’t just rumors. 

This is how Maria finds out that people can like girls. 

So it doesn’t feel odd when she stares at Lisa Odenning for a bit too long. She knows that she likes girls. 

But she also knows that it’s...frowned upon. Frowned upon in the way her father scoffs at rainbows, tells Maria to wear a dress to a dance instead of the suit she had wanted to wear. 

“I like pants. Dresses aren’t my thing.” 

“You wanna be a lesbian or something?” 

Maria knows it’s not bad. She knows it, like she knows that sunshine feels good on her shoulders. But her dad makes it seem like that. Like it’s wrong to love someone. 

“So? What if I was?” 

Her dad laughs. He fucking laughs. 

“No daughter of mine is gonna be gay. That’s ridiculous.” 

“I need to go to the bathroom.” 

Tile is hard as she drops to her knees, biting her hand to keep from crying too loudly. But what’s harder is learning the fact that it doesn’t matter if your parents are your parents: 

They’re still allowed to dislike you for who you are. 

She stares at her plate at dinner time when her mother chatters on about her workday, how difficult it was handling a group of fifth graders at a field trip. 

“Maria, how was your day?” 

“Fine.” 

“Just fine? Nothing else?” 

“Nothing that matters.” To you. 

Her mother says she’ll wash the dishes instead of her brother, and her brother gives her a knock to the shoulder and says a thank you, running out to get his bike and play basketball with friends. 

Maria doesn’t tell her mom what’s wrong when she asks. She doesn’t want to talk to her dad either, who tries to talk to her in a softer voice. 

“Mar, did something happen today that we should know about? You know we love you.” 

You know we love you. you know we love you. Do they? Do they love her? 

Or do they love that they think she is who they want her to be? 

Maria has to know. 

So she says it. 

“I’m gay,” she says plainly. “And I like girls and I always will. That’s what happened today.” 

Her dad’s face grows stony. Her mother doesn’t say anything for a moment. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“Oh what, I don’t?” Maria asks, incredulous. 

“No, you’re confused. You don’t know what you want so you’re acting out.” 

Maria drops the plate she’s drying. It shatters to pieces and a shard cuts her leg. 

Her mom sweeps it up. Her dad doesn’t say anything. Maria walks outside and sits. 

Blood runs down her leg. It dries. She can’t be bothered to clean it up, even when it stains and dries on her pants. 

Her dad comes outside. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. 

“No. I’m really, really not.” 

“You know, we could...ask someone. About those camps that they have.” 

Maria’s face tightens. They want to send her away. 

“What, because I’m not enough?” Maria asks. “Because I’m not your perfect little daughter?” 

“You know, I never said that--” 

“You didn’t have to, I know,” Maria hisses. “You don’t love me. Not really. You can’t bear the fact that you have a fucking daughter who likes girls. Because for some reason that’s the worst thing that could happen to me.” 

He doesn’t say anything. He stands there and looks at her. 

They won’t send her to college. They’re not ending up letting her borrow the car for anything. They think she’ll sneak out to kiss a girl or something. 

That doesn’t bother Maria. 

She’s used to the cold looks and never-there-hugs over time. Her brother doesn’t say anything. She jokes to him that she’ll be cut out of the will. 

“You think they’d do that?” He asks. 

“Of course they will. The only reason mom didn’t make me leave the family is because it would cause a scandal at the next goddamn homes association meeting she has.” 

Maria bikes everywhere. And runs. She gets to be pretty fast. She figures it’s practice for when she’s run out of the house at the end of the year. 

But she ends up stopping a robbery. 

There’s a man who asks if she wants to “try out” in a sense, for a job. 

SHIELD. That’s what they call it. She thinks it’s ridiculous. 

She doesn’t tell her parents when she leaves. 

She takes everything she owns, stuffs it into a duffel bag, and bikes to where her new life begins. 

Her brothers calls her and says that her parents are upset. They’re thinking about calling the police. 

“Tell them I’m okay,” Maria says. “I’ll write them soon.” 

It’s petty, she knows. 

But she writes them back with no letter, just two things. 

The pocket knife her dad gave her. And the necklace that has been passed down for generations from her mother. 

A rejection of family, a severance of ties. She will not talk to them again. Her brother may pass updates on her. 

But judging by her experience in SHIELD, she won’t be returning home. 

They think she shows promise. She’s good in the field, deals with professional heckling in the most professional manner possible, and has a stare that takes most agents at least ten years to earn, and got Agent Barton to do paperwork in less than twenty-four hours. 

She doesn’t say anything about her personal life. They know she has parents that she doesn’t talk to, but that’s it. There’s nothing else to learn. 

At least, until Natasha Romanov enters. She’s a Black Widow. Or rather, Black Widow. She’s the lone survivor, doesn’t suffer fools easily, and likes to know everything. 

She and Clint are friends and joking around within two weeks. She knows where Coulson’s secret stash of coffee is within a week. And most importantly, she finds out Fury’s home address. 

(He lives in a nice house in a cul-de-sac and wears t-shirts and sunglasses on his days off. His neighbor on the right calls him Nick and they sometimes grill burgers.) 

Maria Hill is an enigma. Natasha doesn’t like not knowing. 

Or she does like to not know. She likes the thrill of getting information that you’re not supposed to know. 

There is no possibility of that with Maria Hill, because this job is her everything to her. People know that she doesn’t go home for any holiday, only takes off for health concerns, and doesn’t have any friends that she goes out with. 

Maria is alone. 

But there has to be more. Has to be. 

Natasha follows her home. Or, attempts to. 

She loses her on a subway stop. She’s not even sure how she lost her. 

She gets a typed note stuck to her door in the morning. 

Quit following me. I mean it. 

Natasha is suitably impressed. 

And undeterred. 

“Thanks for the note sweetheart,” Natasha says. “But I’m not gonna stop until I get something good.” She sashays away, looking back. “I like the hair, Maria.” 

Maria Hill is nervous. She hasn’t been nervous in three years. And this woman, this insufferable redhead who has the eyes of danger and a smile that could rival Aphrodite, is driving her insane. 

She is nervous. And that? That is throwing off her whole day. She can’t even drink her coffee because her fingers are so jittery. 

Maria hasn’t had a crush in years. She’s quashed them all down, ignored them. They were on people who were in and out, and she’s...well. Her marriage is to SHIELD. 

Natasha Romanoff is...similar. She’s exactly Maria’s type. Which is dangerous to know. 

She tries not to think about it. Tries to not smile as Natasha asks teasing questions. 

“Well, what’s your favorite condiment?” 

“What does that say about anything?” 

“Gives me some specifics about your past life, Maria darling.” 

“Ketchup,” Maria answers. 

Ketchup does not narrow anything down. Natasha just likes learning about her. 

Natasha learns that Maria has poor circulation, enjoys waking up with no alarm (which is insane), and absolutely adores the color blue. Everything, nearly, is blue. 

There are other, more serious things. Maria doesn’t like talking about her parents. Ever. She has a brother who occasionally emails. He got married a year ago and Maria visited at the wedding reception just as everyone was emptying. She has some drama with her parents. 

And nothing else is revealed about her life. Who her past crushes were. She visits the library when she has a free weekend. 

This is how Natasha finds her in a chair at the local library, reading a biography about Norman Rockwell. Something had seemed off about her all week, her face strange. (Natasha tended to look at Maria’s face. A lot. More than necessary. Clint made fun of her.) 

“He painted the idealized American life,” Maria says. “I like his work. He’s interesting because I probably wouldn’t like him.” 

“Better to see your idols than know them,” Natasha remarks. “Everything okay?” 

Maria is quiet. 

“My brother told my parents where I work.” 

Natasha sits, looks at a biography of some TV host. 

“You know if this one is any good?” 

“Talks too much about family history. Sucks.” 

Natasha picks out another one about Mary Pickford and starts reading. 

They read in silence like that for the better part of an hour. Natasha uses Maria’s legs as her own sort of chair, pressing her back against them. Maria doesn’t say anything but loses her page. 

Natasha gets up, looking at Maria. 

“What’s going on?” 

“It’s nothing. I’ll be fine.” 

“Doesn’t matter if it’s nothing. It’s affecting you enough so that you’re reading about someone else. Sounds like you want to focus on anyone but yourself.” 

“Didn’t know you talked to SHIELD psychologists,” Maria says, mouth quirking up in a smile. 

“They talk at me. I occasionally listen to fit my needs.” Maria laughs some more, getting up from her chair. The white, plastic library card is between two fingers. 

“Let me check some of these out. Then I’ll sit down at coffee with you.” 

It is awkward. Silent. At first. Maria has the books to the side, pressed against a window. She almost never has her back to the window. This is new. 

“What I tell you cannot be flaunted around the office like the cat just got the cream,” Maria says tightly. “It cannot be bragging like you know of Clint’s circus career or Phil’s quite frankly weird obsession with Cap and Howling Commandoes memorabilia.” 

“Airtight,” Natasha says. “You’re my friend.” 

Maria talks. 

“I don’t talk to my parents. Ever. I’m...I like girls. More than a friend way.” 

“You sound like the biggest dork on the planet,” Natasha teases, smiling. “But continue.” 

Maria shoots her an annoyed glance, but she looks down at her coffee, not annoyed really. 

“I don’t talk to them. They thought it was a phase. They tried to get me to go to church or some weird Christian summer camp. I never did. I mailed back anything of family value. I don’t ever mention them. 

Because I...I never could think of myself as part of that family. And my mom found where I live and now she’s calling me to get dinner. And I kind of want to. But I also don’t want to. I don’t know what to do.” 

Natasha sits back. 

“You know, this makes having dead parents desirable right now.” 

Maria laughs. It’s a horrible joke, in the worst taste, but Natasha makes her laugh. 

“I don’t know everything about this, but I suggest maybe talking with them,” Natasha says. “Only if you want to. If you don’t want to, you’re under no obligation. But figure out what you want to do. It’s about what’s right for you, not what you think someone wants from you.” 

Natasha brings Maria into a hug, cradling her body. It’s the perfect hug. 

“This might be a bad time, but if you ever want to do something...I’d be fine with that.” 

Maria is left struck dumb, a pile of books left next to her. 

She decides that maybe instead of having dinner with people she honestly dreads talking to, maybe she’ll take Nat to the trivia night next Friday at her favorite bar. 

They might win something. 

- 

Natasha gets a handwritten note. 

She can tell it’s left-handed, written in slanted cursive, and written carefully. Handwriting tells a lot about a person. 

Trivia night is next Friday. You want to go? 

-Maria. 

Underneath is her phone number. 

Natasha texts her an embarrassing amount of emojis in response to the question posed. 

Maria texts back. 

I regret liking you 

oh fuck. 

hehe :) thanks maria i like you back 

Not the worst confession. Not the worst response. It’s a nice start. 

(Fury wins ten dollars. Maria does not like this.) 

[chrisevansbabymama]

Daddy Hair Care - Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 - Mommy’s Boy:

Chris. Was. Bored.

He looked at Dodger with envy, as he was sound asleep on his little bed. If only he could fall into a nap to cure his boredom, but it seemed the harder he tried the more alert he became. Without Mya around, he always noticed how quiet it was and how such a small person could occupy so much of his space and time. He wasn’t complaining, at all. His eyes scanned the living area of their suite; her toys were neatly strewn here and there, serving as a reminder of her absence. Her little tea-party table hosted two teddy bear guests that sat on separate chairs, the other two empty; reserved for Chris and herself, and a little space in between with stacked cushions for Dodger because she didn’t want him to feel left out.

Now Chris wished she was there: poking his ear, playing with his beard, painting his toe nails, smothering Dodger in hair gel, watching cartoons all day long and pouring him fake tea and pretending to eat cupcakes. Sometimes they bought real food for the tea party but they mostly ate it at the big dining table because Chris couldn’t last long in that small space.

Clearly, his life was all about Mya, Dodger and scripts. Even more now, that he’d brought Mya with him to New York for the next few months whilst he was rehearsing for Lobby Hero, she was his priority. He wasn’t too sure how it was going to work once the shows started; whether it was fair to have her shared between Seb or his assistant Tiffany, or if he would rather just take her back to LA to stay with her grandma. The latter seemed to be a more stable solution for her because soon after his Broadway days, he would be filming his last Avengers installment, which meant more time away from home and her. His heart ached at the thought, he’d bonded so much with her in the last few weeks that they had been in New York together and had seen so much growth in her every day. He feared that very soon he’d be missing out and hearing about it over the phone from her grandma. It just wouldn’t be the same. She was picking up new words, new habits and even copying his behaviours; which he often found funny.

“Oh man!” she would exclaim if she dropped a toy or made a mistake.

It used to be ‘oh shit,’ (well, only once) because she’d heard it from none other. Chris quickly realised how much of a sponge she was, even when he thought she wasn’t watching or listening; he would later see her exhibit his behaviours.

Or she’d greet Dodger with a, “Hi buddy,”

And in the mornings, she copied her dad’s routine too; she would brush her teeth with him, wash her face and splatter water everywhere, and mutter a small “oh man.” After brushing their teeth and washing their faces, Chris would pick up a script or newspaper to read over breakfast, Mya would bring her drawing pad. Breakfast was always a fruit platter and dry seeded bread; or plain oatmeal with just a drizzle of honey since he was slowly easing into his Cap diet. Mya drew the line at the dry seeded bread though, she preferred white bread smothered in butter and jam, and instead of a coffee or green juice like her dad, an orange juice was her go-to. Chris always diluted it because he found out that Mya and sugar were a dangerous combination, add Dodger to the mix and it was a real fucking party.

“Yuck!” she grimaced at the oatmeal once when Chris had tried to get her to try something new.

“One bite, look, daddy’s putting Nutella in it,”

“No, don’t want it, yuck,” she then fake gagged, making Chris stop immediately, sighing and gave in to her demands of jammy toast and a bowl of strawberries.

“What kid doesn’t like Nutella?” he mumbled to himself.

Chris finally pushed his hair back and compartmentalised the wistful spiral of thoughts and checked his phone, hoping that maybe Sebastian had texted to say she wanted to come home. He wouldn’t even mind if Mya had decided she missed her dad too much and cut their little ice cream date short. He was regretting telling Sebastian to bring her back when the sugar had worn off. Checking the time on his phone; it’d only been an hour since they’d left and it was going to be a while until they came back. He exhaled, and called the best person to help him get him out of his misery, before he let the thoughts build up and exacerbate his anxiety.

So Sebastian was right, Chris concluded begrudgingly as he held the phone to his ear; his life truly evolved around Mya, Dodger and scripts.

“Hey ma,” he said.

“Hi honey, I was just about to call you once I unpacked,”

“Unpacked?” Chris enquired.

“The grocery - I’m just coming in from the market, I’m hosting a dinner tonight,”

“Just what I wanted to hear to make me homesick,” he laughed softly.

“You okay sweetie?” Lisa asked, pausing deciphering her son’s deflated tone.

“Yeah, just feel...empty…bored. Mya’s gone out with her best friend Seb, and Dodger is sleeping. I don’t know what to do, usually at this time we’ll be watching Curious George together or at the park or debating what to eat for lunch,”

“Aaw, that’s normal,” Lisa said. “You just need to find something to do to without her. It’s okay to have an independent life outside of her, it’s not good for both of you to always be in each other’s space,”

“It’s hard, I’m trying to let go, but I feel bad if I don’t spend much time with her because once my shows I won’t be around much and then it’ll be Avengers soon after and we’ll have to be away from each other again,” Chris explained. “I seem to cope better with this when she’s not around because then I’m not physically in close proximity to be so protective of her,”

“But think of it this way; once you finish with this Avengers film, she’s all yours. You did say you wanted to take a break after and let her go to school,” Lisa reasoned.

Chris nodded, as if his mom could see. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess it’s just still getting used to this parenting thing,”

“And you’ll keep learning. Use your time alone to rest and unwind, or go out, some ‘me-time’ will be good for you,”

“Mmhhh,” Chris contemplated, he wondered if that would make him selfish. He quickly snapped out of the thought. “Jheeze, Chris, such a downer. Who’s coming to dinner?”

Lisa laughed at her son, imagining his face as he ridiculed himself, “Your uncles, Scott, Shana, Carly and the kids. It was Scott’s idea. Think we’ll be seeing you here anytime soon?”

Chris bit his bottom lip, racking his brain quickly for his schedule; “I have a week off in a month, I don’t know where Mya will be. I’ll figure something out,”

“Would be good for you to take sometime out and switch off, and have her here to play with her cousins,”

“I need it, maybe we could do Disney with her. She’d love it,”

“Maybe more you, than her,” Lisa corrected, knowing very well, that any excuse for Chris to go to Disney, he would exploit it.

“There’s some truth in that,”

The conversation progressed with Chris asking what was on the menu for dinner; he really missed home. He loved his mom’s cooking, being around his siblings and their kids, and friends and their kids too. Boston gave him that respite to be just himself and fully relax which he couldn’t do here in New York, the fact that he was living in a hotel, (which wasn’t a luxury that he took for granted) served as a reminder of his double life. Even his home in LA, the extravagant house tucked in the hills with other celebrities as neighbours, was of the same sentiment; but nothing ever compared to Boston. He found it more grounding and the pace of life was slower, no one cared who he was there nor even noticed him, because in Boston no one is ever looking to spot a celebrity.

It made him terribly homesick to know that his family was going to be gathered under one roof and enjoying each other’s company, whilst he sat alone in a hotel room, not sure if his daughter would even be back to join him for dinner.

“So, if you do come to Boston in a few weeks, should I expect a guest?”

Chris could tell by his mom’s intonation that she wasn’t talking about a friend like last time, when he’d visited with Seb. She was referring to a woman. For some reason when his mom brought up the topic about his dating life, he didn’t mind so much; supposedly he knew he couldn’t be defensive with her like he was with his friends, she could read him like a book, even over the phone. He was always honest with her because she always gave him the space and opportunity to be vulnerable with her; the same kid that ran home at 13 years old to tell her he’d just lost his virginity.

“Afraid not, it’ll just be the three of us as usual,”

“Are you looking? Have you been dating – because you have been quiet the last few weeks, I thought someone’s come along and stole your attention,”

“You can blame my new schedule and these two kids of mine,” he said referring to Dodger as well. “And no, I haven’t been looking or dating. I just don’t have the time,”

“You do right now in this very moment, Chris,” Lisa challenged.

“You say it like I can just walk outside and pick a woman,” Chris scoffed.

“You know what I mean, I’m just saying,” Lisa reasoned. “And it’s been so long since you’ve been on the scene, you might lose your charm if you keep away,”

Tickled by her honesty, Chris drew his head back with laughter, “Wow, my own mother ladies and gentlemen,”

“I just want you to be happy,”

“I am ma,”

“Yeah, but there’s something missing. Do you really want the only company you keep around you to be a toddler and a dog that you can’t have adult conversations with? Is this why you’re always on Twitter now?”

Chris roared with laughed again, this time his hand grabbing his left pec, slightly offended but she was actually right. He would find himself berating Donald Trump on his TV screen and look to Dodger and Mya in shock for their support.

“Can you believe this guy?” he would ask exasperatedly, receiving nothing in return but questioning glances from the dog and toddler. He would then go on his Twitter and continue his rant, starting a dialogue with his congregation of followers or his industry allies.

“You’re unbelievable,”

“Food for thought Chris. Speaking of food, I really have to go start prepping all this, Facetime you later when everyone’s here?”

“Yes, please do,”

“Give my grandbaby a hug and a kiss for me, okay? I love you,”

“Love you ma,”

Before hanging up, Lisa fired her one last shot, “And join Tinder or something, that’ll cure your boredom,”

Chris chuckled in disbelief when she hang up abruptly after her Tinder proposal. Clutching a cushion to his chest and deciding to take his mom’s advice – not to join Tinder, but to revel in his quiet time, he put the phone on the table. He was going to count sheep until sleep consumed him, because frankly he needed the rest. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day, and he would need all the energy he could muster to spread evenly across his Lobby Hero rehearsal, interview with Jimmy Fallon, and a press event in the evening.

*

Chapter 3

______________

Disclaimer: Gif Not My Own

Tagged As Requested:  @mississippifangirl​ @thinemineours @tessathedragon @thottio​ @caninoona @eratotalles @allonszassbutt @thinemineours @dreamingwithmendes @void-imaginations​ @daybreak96​ @l-auteuse​ @cliffordasparagus @bumber-car-s

[angelofarts]

Of Crochet and Comas Part 1

I crochet. I do not knit. Knitting is an inferior art form. I crochet. I am complex.

“I am full of it,” I muttered to myself, staring at the words on the screen. The thing is, when your whole personality is this one thing you do and you can’t actually tell people it’s what you do, what do you tell them? Do you play the sympathy card? Do you make something up? Do you ignore the paper in the hopes that it’ll go away, knowing at the last hour you’ll play both the previous cards at the same time to scrape a pass?

Yeah, inevitably I end up on option 3.

I pushed away the laptop, leaving it on the scrunched with the blanket on the end of my bed, half buried under my duvet. No matter how many times Mom comes in and eyes it sadly, or Dad shakes his head at me, I refuse to give it up. That blanket is mine, no one else’s.

“Going to the hospital,” I called to my mom who was in her office as I found a clean t-shirt.

“Is it visiting hours?” she called back as I sniffed the armpit of the shirt. Okay, maybe it wasn’t exactly clean, but it was clean enough for my purposes.

I swung out of my room, scooping my backpack up. “Yeah, they let me in whenever,” I told her as though she didn’t already know this. She looked up at me, her eyes out of focus, and swept her fringe back. Defying the laws of gravity, it immediately sprung back into a frizzy mess.

“Okay, ride safe,” she said vaguely, turning back to her spreadsheet. “Take your phone and your backpack. Get some homework done.”

I nodded, even though I knew she couldn’t see me, and left through the passage leading to the back door. My bike stood there, the patches that weren’t orange rust peeked through with dark grey. An archaeologist had once offered me fifty bucks for it, convinced it outdated several of his finds, but old Raptor was mine until I got my license and could upgrade to the equally crappy and significantly more expensive rusted car sitting in our driveway.

The hospital wasn’t far away, and yet I somehow managed to get flipped off four times, honked at six, and almost hit twice. Regardless of the fact that I was in the right lane, one of the drivers tailed me a block, yelling obscenities. I merrily waved my middle finger back at him until he drove past, obviously deciding some kid on his bike wasn’t worth ruining his afternoon for.

At the hospital, I chained my bike up to the stand in front of the visitor’s entrance and hiked my backpack further up my shoulders. The air conditioning hit me, and I winced – despite cycling here and it being winter, I’d forgotten anything practical for the day like a sweater or hat or scarf, instead standing in my jeans and tee like normal.

“Hey Aaron,” Nurse Nancy called from her station. “Good to see you.”

I felt a goofy grin split over my face. “Nancy my love, how have you been? Keeping our affair a secret, I hope? I’d hate to have to become your sugar daddy when I have no sugar to provide.”

Nurse Nancy, a woman probably old enough to be my grandmother, gave me a good natured chuckle and tsked as she waved me past towards long term residency. I clutched at my chest dramatically as I staggered through the swinging doors.

Entering the ward, I waved at the nurses and some of the residents who were out for the morning. Bert, an old man with a heart condition, was reading in the common area where he first taught me how to cheat at poker. Lizzie, a middle aged woman with some sort of hormone malfunction was next to him, yelling at the politicians on TV. She was the reason I was passing history – the woman was a walking library.

Not a lot of the residents are permanently in long term, since most medicines can be administered at home, but Bert and Lizzie had no one to help them take the meds, so they had been a staple of this wing for the four years I’d been coming in.

Closer to my destination I ran into the younger crowd – teenagers my age who had to come in for a month or so at a time for some or other condition. Lisa I knew had cystic fibrosis and came in whenever she flared up, although you wouldn’t say she was chronically ill from how put together she always looked – long blonde hair always tied back, always in real clothes when the others would spend days in pyjamas. Richard had Crohn’s disease, and you could always tell when he came in from how much weight he’d lost or gained. There were others – diabetics, cancer kids, a whole host of them who somehow had managed to find a society within themselves, one which I, as an outsider, was very much not a part of.

Finally, I reached the last door and propped it open, to the familiar, rhythmic electronic beeps of the heart monitor and the gush of air in and out of the respirator.

“Hey bro,” I whispered softly.

My brother, Kenzo, didn’t reply, not that I expected him to. His chest artificially rose and fell as I softly dropped my backpack to the floor and sat in the visitors chair next to him.

Kenzo was the one who introduced me to crochet, back when we were kids. I, at four, had less than no patience for the wool and stick my mom was trying to show us, but he took to it like a duck to water, and within three weeks we were both going at it. Anything to be like my big brother.

Just a year separated us, but it was a year that made a difference. Kenzo was the model student, the popular sports star who somehow was genuinely nice to everyone. One year he found out who didn’t have Valentines, and anonymously sent fifty crocheted roses to the girls and guys (He’d made me help of course). One year he raised money for charity through selling scarves. He was Mr Perfect, as far as our peers were concerned.

I didn’t have the same sheen on him – bathing together until you’re three does that to a person – but even knowing the crappy stuff he did, like the brief stint of shoplifting before I threatened to turn him in, or the time I caught him and our neighbours smoking pot in the back garden, I couldn’t deny that he was a good brother. Until the day he wasn’t.

Until the day he ended up here, in a coma, because of me.

I bent over to open my backpack. “Here, I made you something. Winter is getting cold, and you need some protection I bet.”

I emerged with a hunter green hat, one I knew would suit his colouring because it suited mine. The green clashed with the dark brown of my hair, bringing some colour into my pale cheeks. I pulled it onto his head carefully and tucked it around his ears the way he used to like it.

“Looks great, bro,” I said softly, leaning back. “How are you still hotter than me though? Hardly seems fair. If you take Nurse Nancy away from me now, I really will have to call mutiny.”

“Nurse Nancy?”

A curious voice had spoken from the door, and I bolted upright, kicking my bag under Kenzo’s bed. At the door stood a girl, about my height, with pale skin and auburn hair, clutching a bag.

“Sorry,” she said immediately. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I only came to drop off this blanket and I didn’t think there would be anyone in here because there’s never anyone here when I come past and when I heard it I stopped because you never know who could be here talking to their family and I don’t want to interrupt but then you mentioned Nurse Nancy and she’s my aunt and she’s married to my Aunt Ellen so I hate to burst your bubble but I think you might need to find a new girlfriend.”

She finally stopped to draw breath, after the most impressive babble I’d ever heard. I waited a beat to make sure she was really done.

“You should offer your lung capacity to Lisa.”

Red began to bloom in her face, spreading from her nose to her cheeks and down her neck. Now that I was paying attention to her clothes, rather than her words, I could see she was dressed in a button up shirt, cardigan, and a pleat skirt. Her shoes (leather brogues) were neatly tied and polished to a shine. Throw in her dark blue lace tights, and I couldn’t help but feel like she was a time traveller from the 1940’s.

She let out a laugh, and to my humiliation, I realized I’d said the last of my thought out loud. It was my turn to flush, although it wasn’t nearly as spectacular as hers.

“Tesha,” she introduced, holding out a hand.

“Aaron,” I replied, taking it and giving it a limp shake.

“Are you Kenzo’s brother?” she asked curiously as she set down the bag she’d had slung over one shoulder, patterned with birds. “I come in here often, but I’ve never seen you here before.”

I nodded. “They gave me free reign since he’s a coma patient, so I’m not usually here in normal visiting hours. Which begs the question – what are you doing here?”

“Christmas in July,” she said cheerfully, pulling out a woollen blanket in deep burnt orange.

“It’s May,” I countered, raising an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes as she set the blanket over Kenzo’s legs.

“Don’t be a buzzkill. Time is meaningless, so presents are eternal.”

I snorted as I fell back in my chair. “I should use that line with my teachers to get extensions.”

She smiled and tucked the blanket down gently. “There you go, Mr Kenzo. Looks just as good as I’d expected.”

If this was a magic story, Kenzo would have woken up then through Tesha’s kind action, or her sheer force of personality and charm. This isn’t though, so naturally I noticed at that moment that the blanket was knitted, and let out a derisive snort.

“What?” Tesha asked defensively, her eyes flashing slightly.

“Nothing,” I said quickly. “It’s just that Kenzo doesn’t like knitted stuff, especially not machine knit. But I’m sure it’s a nice blanket, really.”

Her mouth started to pinch. “This,” she said very clearly, “was not machine knit. This was hand knit, by yours truly, and you are a snob and not very nice. I’m leaving now.”

With that, she swirled around and left with a little “hmph.”

I got up to chase after her, not sure if I was going to apologize to her or further mock the institution of knitting. When I got to the corridor though, I saw that she’d disappeared, no doubt to engulf someone else in her snobbish, “superior” items.

“Whatever,” I muttered to myself, turning towards the bathrooms.

On the way there, I ran into Richard, who uncharacteristically stopped to talk to me.

“Dude, did you do something to piss off Tesha?”

My face flushed again as I quelled the urge to push past the dark teen in front of me. He had a disease, he was basically skin and bones, he had no contribution towards me sticking my foot in my mouth…

“No,” I snapped. “She’s being a snob.”

Okay, so much for being nice to sick kids. I try to be nice to the teenagers here, knowing that if circumstances had been different it was very likely that I would be one of them, but it was difficult when none of them usually acknowledged my existence. Between their cold shoulders and the tip toeing I got at school, I was getting rusty with appropriate social interactions.

Richard snorted loudly. “Yeah, right.”

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

He shifted in his wheelchair, and his jersey slipped down one bony shoulder. “Tesha is a saint. No way she started it.”

“Were you there?” I demanded, pushing into the bathroom. It was mean of me, but I let the door swing closed before he could follow, knowing it was near impossible for him to enter.

When I emerged, unfortunately he was still there, but now talking to Lisa. I snuck past them and back to Kenzo’s room to wait out my time in the peace of my brother.

[cruzrogue]

Nerdapoolza

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: Prompt 27 “Can you wait for me?”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity

Rating:PG13

Warnings/Tags:  relationships conversations

Summary: A troubled Oliver visits his best-buddy and lands up having to hang with a bunch of nerds at a study group.

Notes: Oliver talks about his past relationships with a girl who listens and with her own advice things change…

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

Nerdapoolza on A03

Oliver has no idea when and why he let things go so far. Doing both Lance sisters was a disaster in the making. So much so that the outcome when visiting his best friend on the East Coast his troubles happen to come along. He just loved having sex. He liked having a girl at home to placid his mother at least. He just really liked the opposite sex and what they had to offer.

What he could do without is the complication some girls brought to the table. Neediness, those girls who couldn’t distinguish between sex and love. Never happy and who can never get enough attention or help. They have no tolerance for being alone. They're clingy. They don't take hints. They call or text you continuously.

Oliver deleting another angry text by Laurel as he just goes to the TV room. Tommy laid out on the lounger watching an oldie.

“Woman problems?” Oliver just shrugs. “I told you to end thing eons ago but do you listen?”

“My mom liked Laurel.”

“Yea, because your mom is the one dating your girlfriend… I mean the ex-girlfriend, now right?”

“I had to leave Starling. It was insane. She’d show up wherever I went. Call, text, shoot even email me.”

“Well your free now. You need a cooling down period anyways?”

“Cooling down?”

“Yes. No girls for at least two weeks.”

“What? No way. Two weeks?”

“Whatever girl you date next shouldn’t fall into the mess you’ve got going on now.”

Oliver takes a moment to think this through, “Okay I get that but no way on the two weeks’ policy I’ll try to manage one.”

“There is no policy it’s just… You know what, if you could manage one without hitting on a girl. I’d be amazed.”

“Oh, please it’s not that hard.”

“Yea maybe when we were eight and we still thought them as yucky.” Tommy looks at his watch. “Alright I better setup for my study group I’m hosting tonight.”

“You actually hosting a study group?”

“Of course, Like my GPA to reflect how kick ass I am.”

“Nerdapoolza.”

“Ha, maybe if you actually cracked open a book, you’d be more than an average student.”

“Shit Tommy, you’ve insulted me in a few things today you want to try my manhood next?”

Tommy holds his hands up, “Bro, if the ladies are okay with you, which it seems they are because let’s face it they seem to bend over backwards for you.” Oliver rolls his eyes. “If you like you can hang out with us intellects.”

“Aren’t I lucky?”

“Here’s the deal. It’s a group of nine, four ladies the rest all guys. We all roughly go to different schools we met through online groupchat pipelines.”

“You just met these strangers online?”

“Well you meet face to face first in a public place and we had more of us but through semesters some have weened out.”

“Fascinating?”

“Ollie, I really enjoyed this. I’ve meet people with my same interests or people who make lackluster subjects that need to be taken easier. Also, there is a comradery.”

“Have you hooked up with anyone?”

“This isn’t like that. If I want to get laid there are better alternatives these are peeps, I want to mindcrush with.”

“So, no hot chicks?”

“There has been a few and well there is one that gets under my skin at times. You’ll meet her.”

“Plays hard to get?”

“No, she’s different?”

Oliver wonders if she is the crazy, bitchy kind of girl that is beautiful but out there. “Crazy? Pure lunatic? Or are you leaning the other way? Boring and predictable?” Seeing Tommy mum his lips, “Underage?”

“No actually she is legal since this past July.”

“Then what is wrong with her?”

“Nothing!” Tommy laughs. “She’s great. Smart to boot and she can dish out like the best of them. She just has different tastes than me.”

“She ‘ll be here tonight?”

“Yea, she’s also in charge of the chip selection.”

“Chips?”

“Yes, they’re brain food if you ask her and they are cheap enough that everyone can handle their chip turn.”

“You guys sound like the lamest party group on the planet.”

“Good thing we are a study group. Come on help me makes some drinks.”

“They won’t have any alcohol, right?” Tommy just sways his head in a different no position.

As there in the kitchen Oliver just watch Tommy take a veggie plate from the fridge. Placing some cut up fruit from a container onto a bowl. Oliver mixing some extra ice to the ready-made ice tea.

“So, what the subject for tonight?”

“Physics and Statistics.”

“Great!”

“In between we may play a game Charades but mostly we talk about what ails us.”  

“You really want me to actual negate points now?”

“Come on Ollie, you may actually enjoy a night of brainpower and sharing personal stories at its finest.”

“Shit, if I wasn’t so into proving I can lay off woman for a week I’d take off and enjoy the city’s nightlife.”

“You’d be missing out!”

As the first ring on the doorbell happened Oliver laughs, “Nerdapoolza here we come.”

“Hush!” Tommy opens the door to a Mike and then a Craig and Lisa join in. Soon Phil, and Jessica, and a Robbie joins them. When Carol joins the festivities Oliver wonders if she is the girl but she didn’t bring chips. As they spread around the nice living room the doorbell rings again and Oliver takes the lead to open it.

“Tommy, I got held up by the elevator. I mean why does your place’s elevator have it out for me anyway?” He can’t see her over the large bags of chips she’s carrying. “They had this sale and I couldn’t remember if it green or red salsa Lisa likes so I got them both. The had lime flavored popcorn that Rob likes and I also got you your nachos.” She keeps going and its weirdly amusing as she walks herself to the kitchen. She says hi to everyone without even glancing their way. As she dumps the chips on the counter, she simultaneously takes her backpack off.

From his vantage point he just sees her backside. A really nice backside. His eyes wavering until he focuses and what an interesting view it is. She’s wearing ankle grunge boots, her tie up leggings go up to a flair skirt and it seems she has a wraparound top. With the conversation earlier on this girl he can’t believe he didn’t ask for her name.

“Hence why I’m late and you know I’m an early bird.” She stops as she places the bag she has idly on her hand. Somehow, she is thinking it is weird that Tommy hasn’t stopped to add a colorful comment. “What’s gotten into you…” Her face shows shock the moment she realizes it’s not Tommy. “Who are you?”

“This is my best-buddy in the world.” Tommy says cheerfully as he walks into his kitchen. “We have been through some thick and thin times?”

Felicity glances between the two and then rolls her eyes. “Yea, I bet. Who drank the last beer and who was somber enough to get more?”

Oliver a little irked, “Wow! Really? He just means we made it through high school. Nothing to deep.”

Tommy can see Felicity size his friend up. Either she was going to go after his male ego or sock him.

“Well! Congratulations on that achievement. You know…”

Cutting her off, “Felicity, here is a Mathalon champion.” Oliver gives a don’t give a hoot look. “One of the reasons we are here tonight is how everyone of us has something to give. Tommy gives Oliver a freaking behave look. It has Oliver raise his hands in surrender but he still has a disgruntled look as Felicity is moving bowls and acting like she owns the place.  

Pulling Tommy to the side, “What’s her deal?”

“I said she was different. She’s the alpha here. Just go along with it.”

“You have got to be kidding me?”

“I swear Ollie give it some time. Just go with it. She’ll win you over.” Oliver just sighs and says fine to his friend. They join the others and Oliver just has a notebook he tries to at first follow everyone and after the first hour Oliver has just mentally closed off this group as he’s been doodling. It takes a hand to his thigh to get him to stir back to present time.

“I brought you a drink. You’ve been creating a really cool masked man, is that a bow?” Oliver looks down to his artwork and doesn’t really know why he drew this. “Well I think its cool. Not much into archery. Well… Not into many sports.”

“I’ve actually done some archery when I was younger.”

“I’m sorry about earlier. It was bad manners and I’m am sorry.”

He doesn’t know what to say so he nods and thanks her for the drink. Somehow from there on he enters the conversation with the group and finds himself walking the remarkable girl who grew on him this bizarre night.

They find themselves in a coffeeshop and there really is no topic off limits. Somehow dating became the subject and within the confides of what they’re talking about she off handily says, “Can you wait for me?”

“If your okay waiting about a week.”

“Huh?”

Seeing her confusion, he’d like to ditch the week thing but he decides to do something different tell her a truth, “I hate that I’m going to say this.” He huffs, “But I’m in a cooling period.”

“Oh! Though you gave yourself a week to figure out things with a girl?”

“What? No. I… I really don’t know much about this cooling off period thing but I’m not in a relationship. I messed up royally.”

“Do you want her back? Maybe talking to someone who isn’t Tommy would do you good.”

“Funny thing is I couldn’t fully ever break up with her.”

“Maybe there is something there. You really do need a cooling off period then.”

“Actually, you don’t understand. I’m not a good boyfriend.” Moaning, “I’ve cheated on her numerous times and yet she’d be disappointed but she’d take me back and the process would continue.”

“Hmm… It seems you are wondering if you a serial cheater? How many other girls have you cheated on?”

“I actually haven’t had many girlfriends. Other than Laurel they were all short lived and I guess no time to cheat.”

“Then you need to tell yourself what makes Laurel different than these girls?”

He doesn’t need time to answer because it flows through his lips, “Because she keeps my mom off my back.” Hearing Felicity making a displeased tone he needs to add, “Yea, I don’t think I need a longer cooling off period to figure that Laurel and I aren’t right for one another.”

“Okay, step one is figuratively figured out. Now you need time to reckon out what you want, to feel your own emotions, and to work on the next two things.”

“There’s more?”

“A week won’t solve anything but if you actually take the time.”

“If I take the time? Like another week?”

“I have no idea. It could take a week, a month.”

He blurts out, “Five years?”

“God, no. Five years would feel like a lifetime.”

Oliver just looks at the girl that is truly different like Tommy said. They keep talking and talking and after a week make it two, they’re still talking. Conversations that last longer as seasons change. Time may pass as they exchange heartfelt dialogue to one another in front of friends and family. Arguments over baby names. Sharing milestone anniversaries.

Although Oliver makes sure to have all the assorted chips under the sun. To him it commemorates one of the best celebrations as for one evening every year they host “Nerdapoolza.” From that one-day years ago every chat with Felicity has pushed him further to accept his situation and commit to change. He is this gleeful man today because he is loved and is loving the best part of him, his amazing tenacious wife.

***Thanks for reading as I try as I might to get all these stories out as soon as I can. It’s been a struggle at times. I have 4 more to go.Thank you all for reading!!!

[saleintothe90s]

407. Two Donahue Hoaxes

My first memory of television talk show host Phil Donanue was around the time I started Kindergarten in 1988. My teacher, Ms. Walker was absolutely shocked that I could read. Which I guess it was rare for Kindergarteners to read in 1988? Someone help. Anyway, she asked my mom to watch an episode of Donahue about Child Geniuses, maybe? I don’t remember, I just remember bringing home a post it for mom to watch Donahue.  I don’t remember her watching it. A few weeks later we began to learn math, and my genius days were over with.

Donahue looked like what I remember my dentist, Dr. Stall looking like when I was five. I still see Dr. Stall today and he still kinda looks like old Phil, sans glasses.

Oh, and the closing logo and jingle with the little “m” for “Multimedia”.  I remember that from when I was little.

Later on, in middle school in 1994 or 1995, my sixth grade teacher Mr. Hankins who was mean as dirt would made us do busy work all morning long, including reading these incredibly dated readers from the 1980s, where we had to read an essay and answer questions about it.  

The only essay I remember is one about how religious fanatics were passing out flyers that stated that someone from Proctor & Gamble came onto the Phil Donahue show in the early 1980s to announce that profits from the company went to the Church of Satan. 1 Also that the Proctor & Gamble “moon man” logo was a symbol for Satanism, and that the curls in the man’s beard were “666”’s. Below is an example of the flyer that was passed around:

2.

Thing is, nobody from Proctor & Gamble has ever been on Donahue.  1. The flyers flew around again in 1985, and P&G finally decided to give in an change the moon man logo in 1991. 2 6.  I found one instance where Amway salespeople passed the flyers around (in 1995!) to convince buyers to buy their products instead. 3 4 A Washington Post article posted in 1991 mentioned morons people who still roamed the aisles of grocery stores, careful to not buy products from Proctor & Gamble.

The Rev. Jay Hurley walked down Aisle 12 of Food Lion in Hagerstown, Md., last week and reached for Cottonelle toilet paper instead of his usual brand. Buying White Cloud, he believed, would involve him in Devil worship.

"I didn't buy Folger's coffee either; I'm going to replace that brand with Nestle's," said Hurley, pastor of the Greenbrier Baptist Church in Boonsboro.

Hurley is one of thousands of Americans who continue to boycott Procter & Gamble products, convinced, beyond any measure of logic, that the corporation's president is in league with the Devil. Currently, fliers are circulating in rural Maryland, among other places, listing the allegedly damnable P&G products.

[…]

Hurley said an Army chaplain friend gave him a copy of the flier several weeks ago. He distributed copies to his 70-member congregation. A copy hangs on the church bulletin board just inside the door.

The flier, headlined "The Phil Donahue Show," states that on March 1, 1991, P&G's president appeared on "Donahue" and announced that he was "coming out of the closet" about his financial support for the Church of Satan. "He stated that a large portion of the profits from Proctor {sic} & Gamble products goes to the support of the church," the flier says. Then Donahue, it continues, asked the P&G president whether his ties with Satanism would hurt business.

"There are not enough Christians in the U.S. to make a difference," he's quoted as telling a nationwide television audience.

On March 1, 1991, no one representing P&G, let alone its president, appeared on "Donahue."

[…]

So many calls have flooded "Donahue" headquarters in New York that staffers set up a voice-mail answering system that advises, "If you are calling about Procter & Gamble, press 6 now. ... The president of Procter & Gamble has never ever appeared on the 'Donahue' show. If your family and friends say they've seen it, they are quite mistaken."So many calls have flooded "Donahue" headquarters in New York that staffers set up a voice-mail answering system that advises, "If you are calling about Procter & Gamble, press 6 now. ... The president of Procter & Gamble has never ever appeared on the 'Donahue' show. If your family and friends say they've seen it, they are quite mistaken." 5

In 2013, the moonman with a much sleeker beard reappeared quietly on Proctor & Gamble products. 6.

—

In January of 1985, Phil Donahue moved his show to 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York City so he could be closer to his wife, actress Marlo Thomas. 8 On January 21, 1985, weeks after the move, several people in the audience fainted while he show was being filmed.  

[source]

At first, it was speculated that people standing in line in sub zero temps and then entering a 70º studio made people pass out. (Just the thought of that makes me get a headache, I’m that jerk who runs her ac in the car during the winter because I’m ~sensitive~)  After 40 minutes, Phil decided to ask the audience to leave, and he interviewed his guests (gay senior citizens) in an empty studio. 7.

About a month later, an actress, Deborah Harmon came to the New York media and said that the fainting was a hoax, created by master Hoaxer Alan Abel. 9 I had to look up who Abel was. Abel who died in 2018, created such hoaxes such as the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, Citizens Against Breastfeeding, and a company that sold jars of Jenny McCarthy’s urine. 10 11 Abel orchestrated the hoax because he was protesting sensationalist tv. 12.

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1. Belkin, Lisa. “Procter & Gamble Fights Satan Story.” The New York Times, April 18, 1985, sec. Home & Garden. https://www.nytimes.com/1985/04/18/garden/procter-gamble-fights-satan-story.html.

2. Hendon, Donald W. Classic Failures in Product Marketing: Marketing Principles Violations and How to Avoid Them. New York: Quorum Books, 1989.  86-87.

3. DiFonzo, Nicholas. The Watercooler Effect: An Indispensable Guide to Understanding and Harnessing the Power of Rumors. New York: Avery, 2009. 168-169

4. “Procter & Gamble Wins $19 Million in Satanism Suit.” The New York Times, March 20, 2007, sec. Business. https://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/20/business/worldbusiness/20iht-satan.4966053.html.

5, Blumenfeld, Laura. “PROCTER GAMBLE’S DEVIL OF A PROBLEM.” Washington Post, July 15, 1991. https://archive.is/9pbBt

6. Stampler, Laura. “In Spite Of Old, False Satanist Accusations, P&G Put A Moon Back Into Its New Logo.” Business Insider. Accessed February 27, 2020. https://www.businessinsider.com/pg-puts-moon-in-new-logo-despite-satanist-accusations-2013-5.

7. Los Angeles Times. “7 in Audience of Donahue Show Faint--1 On-Camera,” January 21, 1985. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1985-01-21-mn-14194-story.html.

8. AP NEWS. “Phil Donahue Does First Show from New New York City Home.” Accessed February 27, 2020. https://apnews.com/c817c27eee2417e681eb1f0f048a9fe1

9. International, United Press. “DONAHUE SHOW HOAX DESCRIBED.” chicagotribune.com. Accessed February 27, 2020. https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1985-02-02-8501070060-story.html.

10. Fox, Margalit. “Alan Abel, Hoaxer Extraordinaire, Is (on Good Authority) Dead at 94.” The New York Times, September 17, 2018, sec. Obituaries. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/17/obituaries/alan-abel-dies.html.

11. E! Online. “Famous Hoaxster Gets Jenny McCarthy PO’d,” November 10, 1997. https://www.eonline.com/news/35474/famous-hoaxster-gets-jenny-mccarthy-po-d.

12. Hendley, Nate. The Big Con: Great Hoaxes, Frauds, Grifts, and Swindles in American History. Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO, an imprint of ABC-CLIO, LLC, 2016.

[laresearchette]

Friday, January 10, 2020 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: LINCOLN RHYME: HUNT FOR THE BONE COLLECTOR (City) 8:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT HOPELESSLY IN LOVE: FAITH EVANS & NOTORIOUS B.I.G. (Premiering on January 18 on Lifetime Canada at 8:00pm) THE OWL HOUSE (Premiering on January 12 on Disney Channel at 9:30am) BILL BURR PRESENTS: THE RINGERS (TBD - CTV Comedy)     BABY MONITOR MURDERS (TBD)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME/CRAVE/NETFLIX CANADA/CBC GEM:

AMAZON PRIME TREADSTONE

CBC GEM WEIRDOS (Drama)

CRAVE TV DANIEL’S TIGER’S NEIGHBOURHOOD (Season 3) HEALTHY IS HOT (Season 1)

NETFLIX CANADA AJ AND THE QUEEN (Season 1) GIRI/HAJI (Season 1) HARVEY GIRLS FOREVER! (Season 3) THE INBESTIGATORS JAMTARA MEDICAL POLICE (Season 1) SCISSOR SEVEN TITANS: (Season 2) UNTIL DAWN

CURLING: CONTINENTAL CUP (TSN/TSN3/TSN4) 9:30am: Women’s Scramble (TSN/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 2:00pm: Mixed Doubles (TSN/TSN4) 7:30pm: Men’s Scramble

NHL HOCKEY (TSN5) 7:30pm: Sens at Red Wings (SN) 9:00pm: Penguins at Avalanche

marketplace (CBC) 8:00pm: Rigging up a house with hidden cameras to test locksmiths; exposing how some companies use unbelievably low prices, fake names, fake addresses, and fake reviews to lure in customers.

SPENCER'S BIG 30 (CTV Life) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE):  Chef Spencer Watts creates a Lebanese supper for four in less than thirty minutes.

HOPELESSLY IN LOVE: LISA ``LEFT EYE'' LOPES AND ANDRE RISON (Lifetime Canada) 8:00pm:  An inside look at the intense and complex relationship between TLC pop star Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes and NFL football player Andre Rison; footage reveals the depth of their love and the turmoil that tore them apart just months before Lisa's death.

YOU CAN’T ASK THAT (CBC) 8:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): With different reasons for using a wheelchair, Canadians from all across the country talk about what's it like to use a wheelchair.

THE NATURE OF THINGS (CBC) 9:00pm: The accidental discovery in Alberta of one of the best-preserved dinosaurs opens a prehistoric cold case to uncover the secrets of its mysterious death.

THE GRIZZLIES (Crave) 9:00pm: Lacrosse transforms the lives of Inuit students when they learn how to play the game.

HOSTILE PLANET (Nat Geo Wild) 9:00pm: Bear Grylls hosts a look at animals in the world's most extreme habitats and how they have adapted to survive against all odds.

QUEERING THE SCRIPT (Out TV) 9:00pm:  An incisive discussion of the inspiring yet often troubled history of queer female representation on television.

FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER (BBC Canada) 9:00pm/9:30pm: Dad accidentally invites someone he used to hate to dinner and faces the dilemma of how to get rid of his guest. In Episode Two, Everyone rushes to clean up an oil spill on Mom's beloved carpet.

TIES THAT BIND (Super Channel Heart & Home) 10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE):  Detective Allison McLean puts her law-breaking brother, Tim, behind bars, and quickly decides to move his two resentful teenage kids in with her own two children and devoted husband.

[mittensmorgul]

Lately I keep thinking about John, Mary, and Dean. We know Mary is a terrible cook -- I'm assuming that most of the time, John cooked, since things were tight financially for the Winchesters at the time, which leads me to think that he didn't ascribe to rigid gender roles and their marriage was egalitarian. But Dean did his best to become what he assumed was the perfect housewife (cooking, cleaning, child-rearing), which begs the question: where did these notions come from?

Hi there! This is an interesting question. :D

I’m not sure we have any evidence that John was a good cook, or that he did much cooking at all. We know that in the few scenes we have of Mary in the past:

in 4.03, Mary’s mother is the one preparing the meal they share with Dean. Mary herself is in no way involved with this preparation. We only see John eat a couple of times in diners.

in 5.13, Mary is preparing dinner for her and John when Sam and Dean show up on their doorstep. She even pulls the Mom Line of smacking John’s hand away from the basket of rolls on the table to tell him to wash up before dinner. What we learn in s12 about how she bought meatloaf and pie from the Piggly Wiggly leads us to believe that her “homemade” dinners were more often than not purchased pre-made and heated up at home.

We also learn about Mary making Dean tomato rice soup when he was sick as a child in this episode. But you know, Campbell’s makes tomato rice soup in a can, so it’s not likely something she slaved over from scratch, you know? But a small child wouldn’t understand or know that.

in 5.16, in Dean’s Heaven Memory, Mary makes him a PBJ and pours him a glass of milk, then offers him some pie. And again, we know now that she likely bought the pie already made.

in s14 we learn that the one thing Mary did actually make was a terrifying dish known as “Winchester Surprise.” And we’re led to assume that the “surprise” is actually surviving eating it. :P

But what do we really know about John cooking for Sam and Dean? Nothing, really, aside from one of Dean’s comment in 8.21:

“Alright, here we go. John Winchester’s famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There you go. Enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make.“

So we know John at least cooked them one (1) thing. We also know both through flashbacks (like in 3.08 and 9.07) as well as comments Dean and Sam both have made throughout the series (marshmallow fluff mac and cheese! it’s exotic!) that Dean did a large portion of the food prep for him and Sam over the years.

But also, the recipe for kitchen sink stew (also known as “everything but the kitchen sink soup”) is basically “throw everything you have on hand into a pot and boil it for a while.” Rice, beans, noodles, veggies, meat… whatever you have, it goes in the pot. Making it isn’t really a demonstration of culinary mastery, especially if the main flavor that comes through in the end is “will burn your lips off.”

I’ve always felt that John was more likely to go for fast food, diner food, or low-prep food like the aforementioned stew, or the ubiquitous PBJ, or even like… stuff microwaved at the Gas N Sip that has often been described as a staple in the Hunter Diet. I don’t think we’ve ever had any indication that John ever really cooked.

And yeah, Dean did his best to learn to cook (and the rest of the stereotypical “housewife” chores) partly because he understood that John needed him to fill that role. Not that Dean ever understood how Mary may have relied on prepared meals from the Piggly Wiggly to cover her shortcomings in the kitchen, but he would’ve ASSUMED (especially based on his shock at Mary’s confession in 12.02 that she didn’t cook) that she was a good cook. I mean, where did Dean get most of his knowledge about the duties a mom was expected to fulfill? Mostly from television, from possibly observing other mothers in the wild, or from babysitters they had over the years (like Donna in 5.12 who watched them for months at a motel in Massachusetts when they were children).

So Dean did have Responsible Adult Behavior modeled for him, but never in an actual home setting in reality, you know? Donna’s JOB was cleaning and tidying the motel, so he would’ve picked up the how-tos while she was watching out for him and Sam. But he probably picked up even more from watching TV and movies.

Then it came to making their limited resources into something that wasn’t horrifically boring. When they only had a loaf of bread, some assorted sandwich fixings, a box of cereal, and some canned food to last them a week or two until John came back again, he had to get creative to keep from losing his damn mind, you know? There’s only so much spaghettios a person can eat before it’s like OKAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN THIS PLS.

Who knows, he may even have begun watching cooking shows on television in attempt to learn something about making their food taste better. Maybe he watched Julia Child or Justin Wilson or Graham Kerr (being three people who had regular cooking shows back in that era), and decided this was something worth devoting a bit of his time and attention to, for his own sake as well as Sam’s and John’s.

Imagine after the incident he related to Mary where he’d burned his attempt at Winchester Surprise, he realized he needed to actually get some proper training in this cooking thing before he either burned down their motel by accident or poisoned them all from cooking something wrong, you know?

There could’ve been a million reasons why he’d want to become good at cooking, not the least of which was because Dean himself really enjoys good food. I mean, look at the pleasure he takes in a good slice of pie or a well made burger. He appreciates what goes into cooking a tasty and satisfying meal, and he derives a lot of personal pleasure from eating.

@thejabberwock doesn’t come around these parts much anymore, but has a tag for “tactile dean” that I think this theory fits under, as well. Taste and pleasure through eating is just as much a part of this sensory fulfillment for Dean as physical touch. So of course he’d be interested in pursuing it when given the chance.

Such as during his year at Lisa’s. In the final scene of 5.22, he sits down at Lisa’s table to a meal she prepared, but by the montage at the beginning of 6.01, Dean himself is doing some of the cooking, entirely at home in Lisa’s kitchen and hosting backyard barbecues. He also demonstrates his mastery of the grill in 8.14, proving that with the resources to obtain good quality food, he’s just as competent as anyone else at preparing it well. Food is just important to Dean in ways that it’s not to Sam.

Sam eats to live, to be healthy, to maintain his body and fitness. Dean eats for the sheer pleasure of it. I think he’d enjoy cooking just for the pleasure of it, too. He was so damn proud of his “nesting burger” back in 8.14.

And heck, how many different schools did Dean cycle through over his educational career before he finally dropped out? Being in a town for a week here and there may have given him a bit of a chance to drop in on a few Home Ec classes along the way, too. Maybe he’d even specifically ask to be put in a cooking class in school– both because they were more often than not full of girls he could hit on, and because he might be allowed to take home his class projects and have something to feed Sam for dinner that he wouldn’t have to pay for.

But considering how often it seems Dean was left alone in charge of Sam when they were children, he had a vested interest in learning for himself how to “run a household,” including everything from cooking to cleaning to childcare, since it was all literally dumped on his shoulders, and nobody else was consistently there to do that stuff for him.

My guess, in tl;dr fashion, is that he picked it up from a combination of observing various babysitters over the years, from watching tv and movies, and out of the sheer necessity to make sure he and Sam didn’t draw suspicion from teachers or other locals that they were the victims of neglect and bringing unwanted attention from family services organizations. I mean, there’s deep-seated reasons he was antagonistic toward the social workers in 12.04, you know? John must’ve drilled it into him from an early age that they needed to maintain secrecy about their lives from “civilians,” and the need to protect themselves from well meaning but seriously unprepared social workers from trying to interfere in their lives.

All more than enough reason for Dean to make a study of all of this for himself.

[lisainthecityshow]

Watch Lisa in the City only on YouTube!

[tabloidtoc]

Us, May 10

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: The George Clooney nobody knows

Page 2: Red Carpet -- Full Mettle Jacket -- stars prove they have the courage to bare legs in varied stylings of the blazer dress -- Rita Ora, Zendaya, Olivia Culpo, Hailey Bieber, Jamie Chung

Page 3: Constance Wu, Addison Rae, Kourtney Kardashian, Emily Ratajkowski, Ciara

Page 4: Who Wore It Best? Lisa Bonet vs. Bryce Dallas Howard in The Vampire's Wife, Rachel Zoe vs. Molly Sims in Rachel Zoe

Page 6: Loose Talk -- Anderson Cooper on how he's not a fan of Andy Cohen's son's hand-me-downs for his son Wyatt, Patrick Schwarzenegger on Arnold Schwarzenegger using his iconic catchphrase from the Terminator films in real life, Lizzo revealing she drunkenly sent Chris Evans a flirty message on Instagram, Chris Evans' response to Lizzo shooting her shot, Jane Fonda recalling a time a bear was in her bedroom

Page 9: Contents

Page 12: Oscars 2021 -- The Best Dressed -- Zendaya

Page 13: Andra Day, Regina King, Viola Davis

Page 14: Hollywood's Biggest Night -- the 93rd Academy Awards -- Minari's Yuh-Jung Youn with her Oscar standing next to Brad Pitt in a man bun

Page 15: Reese Witherspoon goofed around backstage, Daniel Kaluuya holding his Oscar, Halle Berry, Tyler Perry holding his Oscar, Riz Ahmed and wife Fatima Farheen Mirza on the red carpet, Joaquin Phoenix

Page 16: Frances McDormand with her Oscar and Chloe Zhao with her Oscar, Isla Fisher made sure husband Sacha Baron Cohen's tux was lint-free, Glenn Close left the room in hysterics when she demonstrated Da Butt dance, H.E.R. with her Oscar, Margot Robbie on the red carpet

Page 19: Hot Pics -- Prince William and Duchess Kate Middleton's son Prince Louis on his first day of preschool

Page 20: Furever Family -- dog moms show love to their canine kids -- Kate Beckinsale studied her lines while holding dog Myf and cats Clive and Willow in her arms, Rachel Brosnahan with her dog who is filled to the brim with 'tude, Camila Morrone stepped out for fresh air with one of her dogs in L.A., Priyanka Chopra Jonas and her dog Diana spent the day snuggling, Camila Cabello goofed around with her dog Tarzan

Page 22: HGTV host and designer Tiffany Brooks, Lindsey Vonn paddleboarding in Tulum in Mexico, Rami Malek enjoyed a meal with longtime girlfriend Lucy Boynton on the terrace of their hotel in Zagreb, Croatia

Page 24: Stars They're Just Like Us -- Ed Westwick riding a rollercoaster with girlfriend Tamara Francesconi and pals in Chertsey in England, Elsa Hosk ate breakfast in Pasadena, Ashley Greene fed the parking meter while running errands in West Hollywood

Page 26: Love Lives -- Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson ready to commit (oops)

Page 27: Garth Brooks is Trisha Yearwood's person no matter what and in previous relationships, she was really ready to bail when things got hard, but with Garth, that's not an option because this is the love of her life and there are things he does that drive her nuts, but at the end of the day, he really is pretty great

* Though they've been trying to stay under the radar while in London, Harry Styles and Olivia Wilde have been spotted grabbing pints at local pubs and going on strolls and they're very cuddly with one another

* Nina Dobrev and Shaun White are in it for the long haul and they're very happy together and their loved ones wouldn't be surprised if the snowboarder proposes to her soon -- while they've only been together for a little over a year, the pair are really excited about how far this relationship has come and they're gradually taking steps to starting a future together

Page 28: Hot Hollywood -- Lori Loughlin and Mossimo Giannulli are ready for a fresh start and now that they've completed their prison sentences for their roles in the college admissions scandal, the pair is looking to trade in the glitz and glamour of L.A. for a more low-key life in Idaho because they want to get away from it all and a second home up north will leave them far from the prying eyes of the public -- while they recently downsized to a smaller home in Hidden Hills, Lori and Mossimo were prepared to make another move earlier this year, but eventually decided to stay in L.A. as their daughters really wanted them close by at the time, but now that Isabella Giannulli and Olivia Jade Giannulli are on their own, Lori and Mossimo are excited to experience life in Idaho and they feel this will be good for them; they can start anew and work on their marriage together

Page 29: It's safe to say Prince Harry is not returning to the U.K. for a very long time and is feeling unfulfilled and upset after Prince Charles and Prince William ambushed him in a reunion meeting following his and Meghan Markle's bombshell TV interview -- they didn't take any responsibility, which is partly why Harry rushed back home to his pregnant wife and their son Archie; Harry is worried they'll never understand his point of view and to make matters uglier, Harry is also getting an inkling that his father and his brother, who is being coached to be king, are trying to freeze him out, but he has no problem with that because between his deals with Netflix and Spotify and his new gig at BetterUp, Harry's made a great life for himself in California

* Keeping Up With Us -- Gal Gadot revealed she recently severed her fingertip while cooking and her husband Yaron Varsano tossed it in the garbage disposal, Hayden Panettiere's ex Brian Hickerson has been sentenced to 45 days in county jail on two felony counts of injuring the actress last year, Caitlyn Jenner is officially running for governor of California, the creators of Framing Britney Spears are working on a documentary about Janet Jackson's infamous 2004 Super Bowl halftime show but she and Justin Timberlake won't be involved

Page 30: What's in My Bag? Vanessa Lachey

Page 32: Cover Story -- George Clooney: Life, Love and Turning 60 -- six decades in, he's still going strong and a source close to George talks about the star finding his soulmate Amal Clooney, parenthood and the near-death experience that set him straight

Page 36: Jana Kramer: Picking Up the Pieces -- how the devastated star is coping in the wake of her split from her cheating ex

Page 37: The Lonely Hearts Club -- these stars are also either breaking up or cooling off -- Katie Holmes and Emilio Vitolo Jr., Lucy Hale and Skeet Ulrich, Zac Efron and Vanessa Valladares

Page 40: Spring Trends to Try -- life (and the weather) is warming up so step back into the style scene with comfy-chic wardrobe updates -- cool crochet -- Olivia Palermo, oversize trousers -- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the shacket -- Gabrielle Union

Page 42: Entertainment -- Bethenny Frankel is tackling yet another project with her new reality competition series

Page 46: Fashion Police -- when bad clothes happen to good people -- Howie Mandel, Priyanka Chopra Jonas

Page 47: Justin Bieber, Sofia Vergara, Jeff Goldblum

Page 48: 25 Things You Don't Know About Me -- Sunny Hostin