#links to the original tumblr posts are in the second line of song lyrics !!

[aaliyahsthings]

Ok hi, here's my new segment on Tumblr called, "Aaliyah rants" where I rant about random things (mostly song lyrics) and today we're gonna read lyric to lyric on the song by Ruru called, "Rinbyou AIDS Baidoku" and why I think this song is not about sexual assault but it's mostly me doing a deep dive of the lyrics so this is my ted talk enjoy! —

Oh, wait, before I start, this post might get a little icky because it talks about sexually transmitted diseases and I don't know a lot about music so please correct me if I get the lyric interpretation wrong.

Here is the link to the wiki page where the lyrics AND original song is: https://vocaloidlyrics.fandom.com/wiki/%E6%B7%8B%E7%97%85%E3%82%A8%E3%82%A4%E3%82%BA%E6%A2%85%E6%AF%92_(Rinbyou_AIDS_Baidoku)

The first thing I wanted to get to is that I really, REALLY like this song, even AFTER I learned what the English lyrics were. Hell, the beat is slow and captivating and it has GUITAR in it??? If there's a song with a good use of guitar in it, then you got me hooked! I don't CARE about the English lyrics!!!

Speaking of the lyrics, let's get to the lyrical analysis shall we?

"Here is the town abandoned by the gods."

I personally think that this line means that this "town" the narrator is singing about is beyond repair even if any sort of "God" were to try because of the amount of people that are either drug addicts or prostitutes, which connecting to my Bible roots, is a big no no so this "God" would try and fix it but it can't be fixed so the town is "abandoned" by them (gods) because of the amount of corruption there is in this so called "town" (that's all I got from this one — )

"The sex worker sucks on a squashed hairpin.

When the curtain falls, she sobs her heart out.

The train brings with it a suitcase of grief."

There's nothing I could say for the second line unless the hairpin could mean something, but I highly doubt that it doesn't (also can hairpins be squashed..?).

What really is interesting is the third to fourth line. Let's start with the 3rd line:

"When the curtain falls, she sobs her heart out."

I don't know how prostitution works, but I'm thinking that the sex-worker is working at a strip club because I would think that its how she gets her money (then again, I could be wrong) other than well... Doing her services. Behind the curtain, shes more fragile and, more of herself than she is on stage. Or maybe someone is abusing the sex worker, so maybe she's sobbing after the abuse that they're going through?

The curtain can also represent the mask that the worker has to hide up her pain and hardships. Strippers or sex workers would probably want to look good on the outside so they hide their true feelings and also their true self, which transitions back to the other paragraph about being behind the curtain and showing their true colors.

On to the fourth line:

"The train brings with it a suitcase of grief."

I'm guessing the 'train' is the sex worker because she's probably depressed and she only drops the grief when she's on stage performing her services. She wants to leave her grief and pain all behind period but they can't unless shes on stage doing her act.

"Unexpectedly, the three-legged crows go extinct."

I skimmed the wiki on this and in Japanese culture, the three legged crows are basically like gods as the wiki says that they represent, "a mark of rebirth and rejuvenation" and "a symbol of guidance". So for these gods to go "extinct", the world can not be reborn again and there is no guidance for anyone, which immediately refers back to the very first line, "Here is the town abandoned by the gods" which now means that no one is going to be redeemed and they are no going back to a world of sin because they can't be "rebirthed" and even if they are rebirthed, they wouldn't have any guidance if they're in trouble.

The next few lines are self explanatory for the most part but Imma explain them anyways

"Her rusted door opens after two in the morning"

I don't know what Ruru meant by "rusted door" but I think it implies her kitty meow meow (you know what I mean)

"She drinks up the dripping foam,"

The "foam" in this is obviously a sign that the worker is in drugs as some drugs can do that to you when you take too much of it.

"And her will to live goes extinct."

Still proves my point of the worker being on drugs because she feels horrible and she uses drugs as her getaway from her life. An escape from reality She realizes though that too much of these drugs might kill her, but she doesn't care to the point where it doesn't matter if she's alive or not (this is the point where I think this song is depressing for me because of personal experiences..)

Get ready for another set of lyrics which makes this song a rollercoaster ride.

"Should a bird with nowhere to go caw"

Basically asking, "Should I try to ask for help even though no one will hear me?"

"Tears will leak from her somewhere deep down in the dark."

She's crying and no one hears her, hence going back to the "Should a bird with nowhere to go caw" line.

"She'll ceaselessly keep tossing the dice"

She'll keep taking chances with her life to see if she will live or die.

"And crying, 'I just don't wanna die...'"

A contradictory line that conflicts with the chorus! Love that (NOT)

And speaking of that LOVELY chorus!!

"I'm afraid of infection, but get me wet, get me wet!"

Implication of the worker being really horny and desperately want sexual affection.

"Gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis..."

Diseases that are transmitted through sex

"I want to make the bed rock with everything I have

And be one with you!"

Look at that, another sex reference. Whoever this "you" person is, the sex worker really likes them and she wants to be with them (sexually and not intimately) so she won't be alone forever.

The chorus for this next part sounds different but we're still in the chorus!

"Get me wet, get me wet with this forbidden pleasure!"

This "forbidden pleasure" is to me, the joy (from sexual affection) that the sex worker never gets to have because of the life that she's in. The pleasure isn't intimate but she's addicted to it, which is shown in the next lines but before we get to that...

"Chlamydia trachomatis"

I'd look these diseases but I don't want this post to be TOO icky because there is a slight theme to this which I'll get to in the end. But yeah. Another transmitted disease.

"I want to try getting high off a bad injection"

Another implication that our character (sex worker) is on drugs and is in the middle of an addiction.

"And making a mess with you!"

I think this lyric line is self explanatory. Now let's get back to the main story (because this song to me is a whole life story).

"She's constantly breaking taboos"

We don't know what these 'taboos' are but it could refer to as either 'laws' or something aligned with her social status.

"The rotten blood circulates from her skinny body."

The "rotten blood" could possibly be the effect of the intake of the drugs.

"A new life buds forth."

Could imply that someone (or even the sex worker) is (or was) pregnant and is born into a rebellious and broken town which connects to the "Three legged crows" lyric, which also implies that maybe they didn't go extinct and just left the town?

"May it at least not be in pain."

In other words, "Don't taint the fetus and don't let it suffer".

Yay the next set of lyrics (help now)

"She'll keep chasing down that irresistible joy"

This means that no matter what happens to her, she still wants to find happiness, whether that be through her job, sexual attention from "you", or maybe even the drugs that's affecting her negatively.

"And bloody vomit will leak from her when it gets less effective."

Oh, so back on the drugs. Ok.

"She'll ceaselessly keep tossing the dice"

Shes relentlessly taking chances with her life.

"And crying, 'I just wanna stay alive...'"

Another contradictory line. And then there's another chorus.

"Even though it breaks my heart, get me wet, get me wet!"

More 'proof' that she is depressed and at the same time, addicted to the situation she's in. She wants to stop, but she doesn't and shes stuck into the whole cycle again.

"Gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis..."

Again, listing off the diseases that are transmitted through sexual activity.

"I'll send off the sex slaves who came before me"

Shes.. hiring sex slaves? I don't really know what this means so if anyone knows, let me know (I'm really bad at this).

"And laugh, 'Sounds like an acoustic guitar...'"

I think shes referencing the acoustic guitar that plays in the beginning. And I have to say, that guitar is AMAZING. If theres another meaning to this line as well, lemme know.

GUYS WE'RE ALMOST DONE HERE!! STAY WITH ME!!

"Now the sun is going down...

Alas, so I'll fall into the night.

Now the sun is going down,"

Shes saying that the day is ending and that she's resting. To be honest, this is where the lyrics get confusing so this is the third time that I'm saying this but PLEASE tell me more about these lyrics if you guys know anything about song meanings and stuff.

Now here's the last chorus and I won't make your ear throb (or eye throb since you're reading this) while explaining it.

"I'm afraid of infection, but get me wet, get me wet!

Gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis

I want to make the bed rock with everything I have

And be one with you!

Get me wet, get me wet with this forbidden pleasure!

Chlamydia trachomatis...

I want to try getting high off a bad injection

And making a mess with you!"

Now that posted all the lyrics, sum it up.

So we know that this sex worker is.. going through some things, but it seems like the narration of this story switches from the sex worker's pov to the narrator's point of view and we know that when the narrator becomes the sex worker, the pronouns are "she" but when it gets to the chorus, its then "I". I think that explains the image with the two girls that I'm about to show.

Now that I'm officially DONE with the lyrics, I want to take a look at this artwork that Ruru posted with the video and try to connect it to the lyrics (I mean.. TRY).

(sorry if the picture is bad quality)

Image context: So there's two girls laying on the bed, the one in the red dress (we'll call her Maki since she looks a little bit like the drv3 character (Danganronpa fans please don't come for me)) is laying next to the blonde hair (erm..... kaede?..) and blonde hair is almost (if not completely) naked while red dress looks like she doesn't have any panties on, implying that both of them got done doing sexual things and red dress (Maki) just got done putting her clothes on and blonde hair (Kaede) is maybe... Asleep? I'm not sure. Around them are pictures and glass (?) and other items with some blood splatter, which could connect to the "And bloody vomit will leak from her when it gets less effective" line.

There's nothing more to say with the surroundings in the picture unless you guys know any more.

Now back (or onto) the characters. Blonde Hair has that black box on her eyes, which usually indicates someone hiding themselves from the public eye. However we don't know either of these characters or their background so why doesn't red dress have one? This is probably because she's the narrator and the sex worker is the blonde one. However, I can't get over my theory that red dress can be the sex worker too because she keeps switching the point of view until the near end of the song. Maybe the blonde girl wasn't even a character at all and was just the red dress 's persona to display what she goes through.

But I don't know. That's just a theory. A MUSIC theory. And CUT.

Please let me know if I get anything wrong or you guys have something to add.

[toru771]

Happy Halloween, everyone! To mark the occasion, I thought I’d share something I’ve been working on. You may be aware that years ago, I made a page where I translated the Japanese lyrics for POTO. (Link is below.) I’ve been meaning to update it with some corrections and fixes, and may move it to Tumblr because of some issues I’ve had with Weebly since making the page.

But recently, I learned that in the time since the show reopened in Japan after the pandemic, those in charge have made some changes to the lyrics and other aspects of the show to bring Japan’s production more in line with those in London and the US. I got an audio bootleg from Masked Lion and spent some time over the last couple of weeks listening to it and noting the changes I could identify.

Recording from January 17, 2021; Tokyo, Japan

Cast: Yuta Iwaki, Sae Yamamoto, Susumu Kato, Aya Kawamura, Koichi Taira, Morito Masuda, Kimura Chiaki, Atsuto Yamada, Mariko Gosho

(info from Glass Prism)

My notes (far too many for your taste?)

- Auctioneer sounds more dramatic than in other performances

- Added a “Saa!” (“Now!” or “Here!”) at the end of the Prologue

- Overture is using the new track

- Reyer still insists on “Romu” (which doesn’t mean anything) over “Roma” (which is correct)

- Counterpoint in the “Hannibal” chorus when they start singing again after the ballet/instrumental seems to be missing

- Key change in ToM is now D-F like in all other productions; Japan had kept it as D-Eb (like the OLC album and early West End performances) for their whole run before Covid

- Christine seems more staccato on some notes in ToM

- Phantom still says “Bravi”/“Bravissimi” before AoM

- Phantom is more mocking on “brave young suitor” than usual — Ethan/Brad influence?

- Chorus added to title song — lyrics are “A world hidden in darkness… That is the Phantom of the Opera”

- IHBY - Watashi ga (instead of wa)? Grammatically iffy; probably a flub

- Extra timpani on “long to be” — live orchestra?

- Orchestra mostly at the usual (somewhat fast) tempo for Japanese MOTN, but slower in last instrumental break?

- Music box kept slow, unlike London/Bway/restaged

- Phantom a bit ahead of the beat in “Damn you” section of STYDI

- Magical Lasso — lines rearranged (description of Phantom first, then avoiding being caught)

- Changed line for “In which case I think our meeting is adjourned,” and possibly for Firmin’s spoken part reading Phantom’s note

- Slower tempo for first verse of “Prima Donna”

- Slower tempo for first part of “Poor Fool…” and in the ballet

- Rather Earl-like laugh after Buquet’s hanging

- Restaged orchestrations for “But his voice filled my spirit…”

- Sound effects make it seem like they did something like the restaged or new London version for the chandelier drop?

- Gets rather slow in the instrumental break for Masquerade

- Need to go over “Madame Giry’s Tale” in older boots to see if anything was changed

- Chaotic bit in Notes 2 doesn’t get as fast… I liked that it did in the older versions

- “Twisted Every Way” is slower, which I *am* glad for

- Christine says “I can’t do it,” orchestra transition is like the restaged version

- “Hide your sword now, wounded knight” bit in DJT Rehearsal may be changed?

- POTO reprise before graveyard changed to original title song lyrics

- WYWSHA second verse changed, somewhat flipped the lines

- Second “help me say goodbye” added

- “Wandering Child” now a trio; Raoul’s lines added

- Intro and many sections of “Don Juan” performance sound quite slow

- Some laughter added for Piangi and Passarino

- PONR slower, more like other productions’ tempos

- Kokoro *mo* kimeta wa? (“My heart has *also* decided”)

- Good tentative emotion from Phantom in AIAOY reprise after PONR

- Phantom yells “Naze? Naze da?” (“Why? Why?”) instead of singing “Naze kou na no da?” (“Why does it have to be this way?”)

- “Track Down This Murderer” after Raoul’s dive starts quite slow, gets faster

- Octave jump in “it’s in your soul…” brought back

- Phantom’s reply to Raoul in

- now “Nasake nado shiranai (“I don’t know compassion” instead of “I don’t have compassion”)

- “Sou, mohaya modorenai” — last “We’ve passed the point of no return” in Final Lair is changed

- “Make your choice” shouted rather than sung

- Slow drumbeat

- “Go now…” shouted rather than sung

- Mistake from the brass in MOTN section of playout

Cheers!

- Toru771

[rkariel]

                                        far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember                                 things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember                                     and a song someone sings, once upon a december                                                                      —   ✦  —                                                      김민지 ( ARIEL ) as ANASTASIA 

[ynscrazylife]

I saw your post about doing requests for Pride & was wondering if you could please do a Natasha Romanoff x Reader fic. Reader who's a part of The Avengers & is out gets invited to be a part of NYC's Pride Parade. Reader & Natasha end up coming out as a couple at the parade. Thanks & happy pride.

Not a Phase | n.r fic

Summary: Y/N and Natasha reveal to the Avengers (and the public) that they’re girlfriends at NYC’s Pride event.

Authors Note: Thanks for requesting and happy pride to you and everyone, too! You’re all valid ❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/marvelocks

Even with Natasha’s excellent spy skills, it was proving difficult to keep hers and Y/N’s relationship a secret from the rest of their team. It wasn’t like they couldn’t tell them - they wanted to, but they hadn't yet for a couple of reasons. The first one being that they wanted to wait until their relationship was more serious and didn’t want the entire team knowing yet - it felt more special that way. However, their relationship was now more serious, and the second reason that they hadn’t told the Avengers yet was that they didn’t know how to tell them. 

Natasha had opted for a more simpler reveal, wanting to just tell them casually, but she had to respect that Y/N had wanted to go all out for this. Especially since June was arriving soon and Y/N wanted to plan something special for Pride.

They were struggling with what that “something special” would be, though.

Y/N thought of throwing a party, then scratched that out and said dinner - but decided that was too simple - and next thought of telling everyone individually and telling them they couldn’t tell each other to see who’d let it slip first. Natasha had voted for that one and even proposed that they place bets on who’d break first. They were pretty much set on this, until something came up.

Everyone was hanging out in the living room: watching T.V, eating snacks, talking, etc. The only person that was missing was Tony, who promptly ran in seconds later with his iPad made by Stark Industries. 

“Guys - guys, there’s a Pride event happening tomorrow!” He exclaimed with the biggest grin.

Sam paused from his epic ping pong battle with Bucky. “We know, Stark,” he said, cursing as he lost a round.

Tony scoffed. “Look,” he said, exasperated, and pointed to the tablet’s screen. The rest leaned forward and looked and, with squinted eyes, read an email to Tony and Steve about the Pride event’s organizers wanting the Avengers to come. “They want us to do something.”

Y/N immediately sat straight up with a dramatic gasp, her lips quickly looping into a smile. She locked eyes with Natasha, who raised an eyebrow at her. “Leave it to me. I have the perfect idea. Nat, will you help?” she said.

Natasha concealed her smirk, leaning back against the couch. She caught on, and could practically see the wheels turning in her girlfriend’s head. “Of course,” she replied.

It was set. Y/N and Natasha would take care of what the Avengers would do - but when Natasha asked Y/N about it, she admitted that she didn’t have an idea yet. All she knew was that that was how she wanted to reveal to her teammates that she and Natasha were dating, and the redheaded spy agreed.

When it came time for the parade, Y/N was biting her lip and not really talking much, just trying to take in her surroundings, as she still didn’t have an idea. Once her eyes soaked in the rainbow colored everything — the streets of NYC closed off, flags, signs, dancing, singing — it made everything 10x better. She felt at ease. At home.

The Avengers soon immersed themselves in the crowd. Talking with fans, signing autographs, posing for pictures. The entire team was decked out in rainbow and Pride gear. Face paint, dresses, shirts, all of it. Y/N even had her and Natasha’s flags tucked into her pocket.

The idea that she and Natasha needed to do something floated out of her mind, until she saw a band getting onto a built-in stage, beginning to play a song. Y/N grinned when she recognized it — “Not a Phase”.

As the song began, Y/N locked eyes with Natasha again as she finished signing a fan’s paper. They both grinned. Almost immediately, everyone began falling into a dance like second nature, and only Y/N could see that Natasha was mouthing the lyrics to her.

Y/N finally got an idea and walked over to Natasha, singing quietly, “At first I wasn’t sure of it, then I was just okay with it-” she continued singing as she grabbed Natasha’s hand and slowly led her onto the stage. “-I cannot get enough of it, now I love it.”

As the best dropped and the lead singer began with the “It’s not a phase,” line, Y/N cupped Natasha’s cheek and kissed her. Natasha immediately kissed her back and wrapped her arms around Y/N’s waist, one hand in her hair. She continued the kiss by dipping Y/N.

The crowd erupted in cheers - but even more so when they realized that the people kissing were two Avengers. The rest of the Avengers had turned their attention to the band when the music began, and their eyes were wide and jaw open to see two of their friends kissing.

After Y/N was dipped, she curled one leg around Natasha’s waist and Natasha hoisted her up, carrying her off the stage. On the sidewalk, Natasha put her down, where the Avengers shuffled towards to meet them.

“Was that your plan?” Steve asked with a smile, but still stunned.

Y/N nodded.

Wanda immediately squealed and hugged both of them, and the rest expressed their congratulations and support.

Y/N dug her and Natasha’s flags out of her pocket and showed them off before Natasha kissed her again, making everyone cheer once more.

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes @narcissasslytherin @snipyloulou @big-galaxy-chaos

MCU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @summerlovingbaby @ineffablebean @okkulta @procrastinatingsapphictrash @prettysbliss @legolas-with-hearing-aids @sarahp-stan @thewidowsghost @basiclesbianbitch @mycosmicparadise @kidswhofightmonsters @xtraordinaryfangrl @peggycarter-steverogers @username23345 @ima-gi--na-tion @hateinthemorning @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mads-weasley @tenaciousperfectionunknown @lilclownx @acertainredhead

Natasha Romanoff Taglist: @madamevirgo

[foxonfier]

back on the bjm train?? what can i say, I never really left it. anyway, i’m here to list my (current) top 10 brian jonestown massacre songs bc i feel like it. if you feel like listening along, just click the link on the title of each song to check it out! also, these are in no particular order if anyone was wondering.

hide and seek — uh yeah this is my favorite bjm song to ever exist maybe ever. like, i am in love with this song. if this song turned into a person, i would marry them, because i simply will never get over it. every single day i listen to it because, somehow, it fits every emotion i’ve ever had in my entire life. also, it’s shoegaze, so even better. really, though, any version of this song is wonderful and deserves to be listened to on full volume. the chorus makes me want to kick something and start flying and maybe go to another universe because it’s so unreal how good it is. i wish i could describe it in words, but it’s something that cannot be seen and can only be heard. “we play hide and seek…we play peekaboo.” truly the best lines. i cannot stress how much ecstasy i feel from hearing these words spoken in the background of the chorus. amazing. just amazing.

e to g — otherwise known as “rotary eight,” but was originally titled e to g. a literal shoegaze CLASSIC, one of bjm’s best 90s songs. this song simultaneously makes me want to start weeping and screaming at the same time because i love it so much. it makes me emotional, yet also happy. i simply cannot explain it. anton’s voice is so angelic, it makes me tear up just a little thinking abt it. i will never get over this song. it’s the epitome of my soul. it is everything. it simply must be experienced and felt to even begin to understand it.

chameleons — another classic from pol-pot’s pleasure penthouse (my second favorite album). the first time i heard this song i literally cried. i think the post from that night is somewhere on my old tumblr. anyway, this song feels like a warm hug from your best friend, like someone you really care about is comforting the hell out of you. i genuinely can’t describe it, as is becoming the norm for this list, but seriously. it’s difficult to put into words how much this song means to me. i just know this is one of the best tracks on its album. it wouldn’t be a certified shoegaze classic if wasn’t unreleased!

that quiet song — if you couldn’t already tell, i’m on a bit of a shoegaze binge, but what can i say? that’s my favorite genre of bjm music (and what i believe to be their best music). anyway, this song makes me feel…many different things. it’s so nostalgic to me, like i’ve heard it before, but at the same time i don’t know where i ever would’ve listened to it in my childhood. no one else in my family knows bjm. but it’s so familiar! i think that’s why i’m so drawn to the song. also, it makes me really emotional and gives me a feeling of closeness to the band, like i’m at one of their concerts in the early 90s, when they still weren’t super well known. it’s a look into the past that makes me appreciate bjm so much for what they’ve accomplished. it’s just a beautiful song. nothing more needs to be said.

super-sonic — taking a bit of a turn from the shoegaze comes this certified dandy warhol-turned-bjm banger. the intro is so good i’m kicking my feet just listening to it. the drums, the beat, the visualization of this being played in concert. so amazing. i have no words for how much i fucking love this song. it makes me want to get up and dance and scream the lyrics without a care in the world. if you ever see me grooving along to a song with my earphones on, just assume it’s this one.

cabin fever — FUCK, i think this song made me love matt hollywood and everything he’s ever produced in bjm. but like, seriously, this song is so good and the fact that it does sound somewhat uplifting but also has this slightly sad part to the music, giving hint to the fact that the lyrics are about depression and wanting to die!!! sign me up for real. the guitar riff is just SO good throughout this entire song, and the vocals are so amazing and i rlly just like everything here.

got my eye on you — this is a newfound favorite of mine. i heard it from a youtube vid of one of their live shows and literally fell in love! the beat is so jammable and i absolutely LOVE joel’s part during the middle, him just randomly singing/talking is so great. every time i hear this song i wish i was at one of their concerts bc this one must be THE SONG to hear live. so here’s to hoping i hear it next time!

spanish bee — oh my god this song makes me go feral. first off, the beginning being completely done with sounds from anton is so cool! the mic being tilted, crowd cheering, the person talking etc. but then you get to the actual song and oh my goodododifhdbeh it’s SO GOOD. i really enjoy music like this in general, and anton’s voice in this song is probably the best i’ve ever heard it. his singing is so good, just really raw and raspy and genuinely beautiful and yeah idk man it’s so enjoyable. i kind of wish there were more songs where anton could show off his natural voice and singing ability because, clearly he does have that shit. maybe not in the typical music setting, but i really do just love his voice here. also, the guitar makes me want to start like dancing idek it feels like some shit that would play at a family party or something. i just adore it sm. give it a listen!! especially if you like folk music.

not if you were the last dandy on earth — ever since i witnessed that wonderful scene in dig!, i’ve absolutely adored this song. anton clumsily rollerskating up to a dandy warhols show with signed copies of this song is just unbelievably hilarious. iconic, honestly. plus, this song fucking rocks. blasting this driving around is absolutely the vibe, maybe the biggest vibe there’s ever been. i have nothing more to say except that this is one of their songs i listen to every day and there’s a huge reason for that!

food for clouds — this song will always be one of my favorites. i’ve never met a person i couldn’t win over with this song, simply because it’s so jammable. the mixture of the cowbell, tambourine, drums, guitar riff, and trumpet just does something to people. i’ve witnessed it myself. for real though, this song is a complete banger; it’s different from their more rock sounding songs and has more of an alternative kinda feel. but listen to it yourself and judge! and if this doesn’t begin to indoctrinate you into bjm idk what to say </3

and, lastly, an honorable mention:

anemone — of course, i can’t make this list without at least giving an honorable mention to anemone. while not my favorite bjm song of all time, i can acknowledge that it is, objectively, one of their best songs. hearing this at the concert was an amazing experience, seriously! i really do love it though, like, it’s such a classic and i appreciate it so much. actually, it’s the first bjm song i ever heard, and looking back is so surreal. i can’t imagine where i’d be if spotify hadn’t randomly played this song after one of my playlists ended. i still remember exactly where i was when i heard it, around what time of day it was…crazy. i just gotta thank the spotify algorithm for playing this song, because without it, i think my life would be a whole lot more miserable right now.

[ohnobjyx]

What are some of the biggest moments/clues/hints that bjyx have something going on?

Part 1

Hi, anon! I have three asks from different anons with related questions, and I think it’s something many are curious about, so let’s get into it! I’m going to make this into a three-post series, with the next two answers linked to this one. I think they are all necessary to get the full picture.

Links:

Part 2 here

Part 3 here

It’s gonna get long (and I’m just starting), so sit tight and get a cup of coffee. Nothing to see under the cut unless b/jyxszd.

Disclaimer: everything is fake fake fake, don’t take it seriously.

Wow. Where to start? There are many things in the bxg group that are going to be counted as “moments” (or candies), but here are the ones I believe the most. Of course, other bxg will offer other “hints” but these are all quite acepted in the fandom from my point of view.

Asking for “the biggest” is quite subjected to personal interpretation, since there’s no regulated consensus of which moments are true and which are not. That’s why I can offer what I think it’s widely accepted among bxg and that, of course, I think are “true”.

1) Interviews + bts videos

In almost any interview, since they started filming CQL, be it solo interviews or interviews they both participated in, you’ll be able to find “candies”. These of course, are much more subjected to personal interpretation and your views on their relationship.

To me, the interviews show that they are much closer to each other (even when they were just filming cql!) than they are to other people. They also gave a strong deja vu, but that’s for a following post.

Some of the best moments from their interviews:

In a solo interview (160 minute special, from 30:08-46:37, here with eng subs), in questions completely unrelated to dd, gg brought up dd in his answers at least six times (I think I lost count somewhere in the middle). If you compare them, when gg is asked about dd or prompted to add more details to his answer about dd, he’d end up rambling on and on, whereas in other questions he’s more concise. In his 16-minute interview, more than half the time (questions actually related to dd + questions unrelated to dd) gg is talking about dd.

There are several instances where both, when asked about “the most beautiful/handsome/looks good in costumes” person of the cast, they answered with lightning speed the name of the other.

“Wear kneepads”. The 9 minute boat video is also a treasure. Candies aside, I think it’s quite telling that they can have a conversation about everything and anything without stopping (especially dd, who was known for only talking about his interests). About the “wear kneepads” phrase, I talked in this post about how Chinese people express their love “differently” (love is love). It doesn’t imply romantic love per se, but... gg cares.

In the sina interview (190714, here with eng subs): they lied so much in this interview that even when I was just watching this interview for the first time I thought their answers were strange.

“Is she clingy?”, dd asks. “She’s not, you are”, gg mumbles (but it has been picked up by the mic). Dd’s face goes blank, but then he brokes into a small smile and says “I am...” (here the post with the video).

There’s a moment in an interview however, that belongs to a whole another category that’s the second greatest hint for me:

2) The “you have a bf” moment

For those who don’t know what happened: in an interview from one of their fanmeetings, the interviewer asked about one of gg’s old phrases (”if I enter in a relationship now, I’ll lose my job”). However, he didn’t remember it and both react very strongly to it. Here is a post with an analysis and a link to the video.

3) The informality

This is a pretty tricky one... but once you watch a few videos of gg with dd and gg with other people, it becames apparent very quickly. They’re so comfortable with each other that hitting and swearing (”are you sick/insane?”) is never taken with offense. 

I think there’s an analysis somewhere, about gg and dd hitting each other. Gg hits, but with no real force behind them, and dd either hit him with his long sleeves (when filming) or with great force and speed, but not landing the blows. The few times he actually hit gg by accident, he always apologized profusely, pouring over gg (”where have I hit?”). It left no room to mistake about the good nature of their teasing and hitting.

4) The necklace

There are rivers of ink written about this one. I’ll leave a link to the best analysis I’ve seen here (both the OP and the response make a lot of sense to me).

In summary: mtjj and cp fans started to argue about the origins of the necklace. The company stated that dd had bought the necklace himself (this is the version most of the solo fans believe), but of course cp fans wouldn’t be appeased with such a weak denial, so mtjj started to say that dd should either stop wearing it or explain how he got the necklace.

It’s curious how dd escaped this situation by choosing a third option: he wears it hidden under his clothes. He wears it almost every time he appears anywhere. He even wears it to the sea.

So he can’t explain where the necklace came from, but he won’t stop wearing it either. That, at the very least, points to a romantic gift (from my point of view).

Once you start seeing the necklace, you can’t unsee it. The picture on the left is an older one, when he still wore the necklace openly, but he was still wearing the necklace in a recent photo (yes, both gg and dd has been nominated to the TOP 100 most handsome faces of 2020).

5) The kadian

I was introduced to this concept in tumblr, to be honest. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but when you see a bulk of posts next to each other... there’s a reasonable limit to these kind of things being coincidental.

But then, dd’s post on the 200529, the one about the smile with the colgate ad... that was very much on purpose. And his post on the 200521. Or gg’s posts in recent June: 200605 13:28 and 200612 13:45.

I have an ask about kadian sitting in my inbox, I’ll explain it in more detail in that one.

6) The clothes

Again, I thought at first that this was a coincidence. But then, there’s a limit for coincidences. They have a lot of clothes they either plan to buy the same one in different colours or it’s just the 23rd coincidence that with all of the clothes available in the world, they chose the same one in different colours or just plainly the same. (Here’s a good post with a compilation).

Another fact that convinced me is that many of them are “private” clothes they own, not clothes that stylists choose for them (in which case it’s most likely to be a coincidence, I don’t think they choose the clothes for a photoshoot, for instance). For example, the two sets down below were from photoshoots, so I think they were coincidences.

Going back to clothes they do share, it’s also the fact that gg wouldn’t have access or interest in certain brands and clothes, unless someone with certain interests recommended them to him or got them for him. So coincidental (again) that the only person around him like that is dd.

Or the fact that if one of them is wearing a certain piece the other has worn before (ie the coat), the other one doesn’t appear with it again. Moreover, the coat (left pictures) has been confirmed by the fans to be the same one. They asked the brand about it, and both gg and dd are wearing the same one (since it was discontinued) unless gg bought it 2 years ago and has just decided to wear it (unlikely).

Or the fact that when they appear with the same shirt/trousers, they fit them differently. Trousers are longer on dd, and the line for the shoulders are lower on gg.

Or the fact that sometimes they each wear the upper piece or the trousers of a set respectively (left). Another coincidence, I’m sure.

(Credit of the pictures in the picture).

7) Gg’s songs and his drawings

Gg hides it better, but he still has this kind of gestures. He never fails to remember the lyrics (I don’t know whether you’ve noticed, but at the far back of every stage there’s a gigantic screen displaying the lyrics), but if he does “mix them up” it’s just another coincidence that it can get interpreted as a message for dd.

And last, but not least, we have this drawing:

Gg drew this in a program last year. It’s his “ideal life”. So, let’s see what’s in it:

Gg is the figure on the left, with his cat at his feet.

For someone who doesn’t know how to ride a bike, he included one at the right. Curiously, if you observe the shadow it leaves on the sand, the shadow doesn’t match the bike, resembling a motorbike instead.

So, why is a motorbike in his ideal life? It’s maybe related to the person who approaches from the other end of the beach? Does it look familiar?

He could have drawn a clear, tranquil sea. But instead, there are quite a few waves, which resemble greatly something bxg see written quite often (the last one is the first radical that forms the “bo” character in dd’s name).

So many coincidences in this post.

[coupsnim]

Here’s another ask game for caratblr! Assign your moots as seventeen comeback aesthetics (can include solos, OSTs, collabs, Japanese comebacks, etc) and say why you associate them with that aesthetic! Some can overlap too!

 this was harder and took me way more than expected ahah I decided to go through svt mvs and see if they reminded me of my mutuals, but there are a few songs that I couldn’t associate with anyone so I left them out 🙈

🌼 adore u ~ chey @soonhoonsol ↳ chey is one of the first people that I followed (and probably my first mutual) but this is not the only reason why I associate her with adore u. the song is fun and has a youthful vibe, which reminds me of her, but in the mv we also see a lot of scenes that are not linked to one another and that made me think of chey’s various interests and groups she likes ahah and of course adore u has a special place in every carat’s heart and so does chey (at least here on tumblr ahah)

🌼 mansae ~ cora @ohoshi ↳ I haven’t followed cora for a very long time, but as soon as I watched mansae I thought of her. mansae has the same youthful vibe as adore u but it’s also very energetic and when it hits the chorus it puts you automatically in a good mood, and this is what happens everytime I see cora’s tags under my posts. also her creations are always colourful just like the mv and the members’ hair for this comeback ahah

🌼 pretty u ~ lyns @kyeomshine ↳ I think lyns’ style fits pretty u the best. the mv is fun but it also has a romantic vibe, like one of those coming-of-age movies, which reminds me so much of her creations. moreover, they applied a sepia tone to the mv and whenever I think of sepia I think of lyns ahah

🌼 love letter ~ lee @uriboogyu ↳ love letter is a cute and fun mv, with bright and pastel colours, so when I watched it my mind went straight to the cutest person I follow. and that person is lee. she works so hard to bring new content and to engage with other people as well, her whole blog is like a love letter to svt.

🌼 very nice ~ yza @jonghan ↳ I think aju nice reflects a lot of my mutuals’ vibe, but when I watched the mv I immediately thought of yza. it’s just her and her 13 biases ahah (I know she says she has a bias line but no one actually believes her). the colours in the mv are bright and a bit more saturated compared to previous mvs, which reminds me of her gifs, and the song is fun and upbeat, just like her personality. I think yza fits perfectly with aju nice.

🌼 healing ~ mirelle @leechaerok ↳ to be honest, I don’t need to watch the mv to associate this song to mirelle. she is just such a nice presence on my dash, I’m happy to see her even when she doesn’t post about seventeen. what I like about her is her positivite attitude, her optimism, and the fact that she always has a nice word for everyone. every time I see one of her posts, I immediately feel at ease.

🌼 boomboom ~ emily @iiasha ↳ there are two main reasons why I thought of emily while watching boomboom: jun looks amazing and there’s a lot of technology involved ahah also the video starts out mysterious but then turns out to be funny and a bit silly (and super cool if we include the choreography) and I think this describes exactly how I see emily ahah

🌼 don’t wanna cry ~ carrie @art-hao ↳ don’t wanna cry is one of my favourite mv and I think it matches perfectly with carrie’s style. it’s simple but impactful, and the colour palette and colour grading are gorgeous and well thought in every scene, just like every single creation carrie has posted on tumblr.

🌼 change up ~ zai @icecreamscxups ↳ I don’t really know, maybe it’s because of her change up gifsets, but I immediately thought of zai as soon as I clicked on the mv. I just get change up vibes from her ahah

🌼 habit ~ oona @vernons ↳ oona is a quiet and peaceful but constant presence on my dashboard, she’s seems chill and I like when she shares her other interests outside seventeen. she’s that calm mutual who creates the perfect balance with the more chaotic ones, that’s why I associate her with habit.

🌼 clap ~ dasha @smallkore ↳ clap is a really creative and fun mv and I immediately associated it with all dasha’s gfx. she is one of my favourite content creator, all her ideas are so original and well executed, just like clap mv. I hope she’ll come back soon because I really miss her content!

🌼 thanks ~ kale @choibeomgyus ↳ thanks is another one of my favourite mv, I really love the storyline and the atmosphere. I actually don’t know why I thought of kale as I watched it, but I think her style (which I adore) fits with thanks general vibe.

🌼 just do it ~ isa @kwanies ↳ just do it doesn’t really have an official mv, but I still wanted to include it because I think the lyrics are perfect for isa! I can’t really explain further, as I don’t really know her, but that’s the vibe I get from her ahah

🌼 oh my ~ sofi @scoups ↳ the first thing I associate with oh my is summer, and that’s something that reminds me of sofi’s aesthetic as well. seeing her colourful and bright posts makes me as happy as listening to oh my!

🌼 holiday ~ sarah @dkymm ↳ another song that is perfect for summer (and one of my favourite song ever). I think that sarah fits holiday‘s concept the best, even though I can’t really explain why. maybe it’s because I associate dokyeom stan with bright songs, or maybe it’s just the vibe I get from her, laid back and funny without trying too hard.

🌼 home ~ genesis @shineesbag ↳ I don’t think home concept fits genesis, but she’s still the first person that I thought of when I watched the mv. she’s the only one out of all my mutuals that follows all my blogs (thank you!) and we like more or less the same groups/people, so I just feel really comfortable when I see her on my dash (although we never actually talked). she’s a reassuring presence on my dash and one of my favourite blogs, just like home is one of my favoutie songs.

🌼 hit ~ anna @haniehae ↳ the reason why I associate anna with hit is quite obvious: anna is a dancer and hit has probably the hardest choreography. at first I thought that she would fit don’t wanna cry as well, since the choreography for that song is amazing, but I also feel that hit reflects more her style. I have two left feet, so I admire people that can dance, and anna dances very well!

🌼 fallin’ flower ~ célia @delicatecy and mary @efflorescing-mary ↳ the first person I associate with my all time favourite svt concept is célia (who is the first person I followed on this blog). her style is so elegant, so classy, so (as her url says) delicate. I love it as much as I love fallin’ flower, she is one of my favourite content creator and although she’s not active, I sometimes go on her blog to have a look at all her masterpieces. ↳ the second person I associate with this concept is mary. fallin’ flower is pure poetry, so of course it reminds me of her and her poems!

🌼 snap shoot ~ rhys @heartgyus ↳ me and rhys have been mutuals for less than a month, so I can’t say that I really know her. but I often see her on my dash and I think her personality fits snap shoot, both the song and the mv. also since the video was made by mingyu, my mind probably made a link between the two ahah

🌼 my my ~ maddie @kyeomblr ↳ another personal favourite, my my is a cute and bright song with a cute and bright mv. as I said, I tend to associate dokyeom stan to this kind of songs and I think this concept fits maddie! (I saw it was your birthday yesterday, so happy belated birthday!)

🌼 left and right ~ dreamy @scoupsy ↳ as soon as I watched left and right, dreamy was the first person that came to my mind. not only the concept reminds me of her style, but the song reflects her personality too I think. also left and right is coups’ first comeback after hiatus, so it holds a special place in my heart.

🌼 24h ~ zay @dk-s ↳ zay’s style and her colouring in particular really remind me of 24h. it’s dark without being too dark (like fear, for instance) and it’s quite elegant. also black and red is a colour scheme I associate with zay in general, so the outfits svt wore in the dance scene instantly made me think of her.

🌼 side by side ~ alicia @myungho ↳ that’s cheating, I know, but there’s only one person I can associate to side by side and that’s alicia. not only because she’s the resident myungho stan on my dash, but also the mv reminds me of her witty personality!

🌼 not alone ~ belle @xuseokgyu and nele @seohoshi ↳ the first person I thought of while watching not alone is belle. she’s the most supportive mutual, she always showers me with compliments, even when I post the simplest gifset, and she always makes sure to reblog my content even if it gets 2 notes. she surely makes me feel less alone sometimes. ↳ and I associate this song to nele too for a similar reason, but it’s a more general feeling I get from her. we don’t interact much, but when I see her tags on other people’s posts as well, she’s always so supporting and she always catches the smallest details. she really makes you feel like the time you spent on your content is not wasted.

[yume-fanfare]

hi i am that anon from like 29th Dec (last dang year) who said i read ur tsuki no hime and loved it and that u understand Aizou. i have read more of ur stuff since then and now i NEED to ask you for writing advice, on both characterization and general writing tips since I didnt mention it before. Sorry about that! i just forgot i sent an ask and i do not get notifs at all (or does anon asks not get notifs?) Also, ART STUDENT! That's why the nice art and art leaning!! I feel smart for sensing it

oh yup, tumblr doesn't send notifs for anon asks! but i'm glad you did see the answer anyway

this post is hideously long, so answer under the cut!

so, on characterization: it is mostly a matter of what would they say, rather than what you want them to say. the joke about "the characters do what they want to" instead of what the writer wants is pretty much true if you want them to be in character lol (that's why sometimes a little bit of OoC isn't too bad)

checking the source material is the most important thing: look at prior similar interactions the characters have had and how they reacted

this is kind of hard with LIPxLIP, as there aren't that many translated texts about them but with honeyworks the most canon and reliable thing to use as reference are the mvs. the mvs are drawn in a way that can pretty much be understood even if you don't have the lyrics, and sometimes it's even better if you can't read them, to properly focus on the images better

look at their expressions closely: while aizou is always explosive in his anger, yuujirou often has a more indifferent expression. so, when they fight, aizou is probably the one to blow up first while yuujirou maintains his composure better. it's kind of the classic "this was only a brief passing panel but i am going to expand on it" www

but the thing about fanfiction is that it's always a bit of a character analysis in itself. you don't start writing having already a color-coded folder of possible situations and reactions a character would have for each setting. you just throw the characters in a scenario and then think from there onwards, and eventually you'll be able to have the folder of situations and what you think their reactions would be like. (though, this links back to the prior point, if the characters have gone through a similar situation in canon, use that as guide! plus, finding little references to canon when reading is always fun)

for general writing, i'm going to mostly talk about my own experiences and process! i'm in no way a professional though

the basic is reading a lot. not just books but also fanfic. in fact, since you're writing fanfic, i Encourage you to read fanfic. even if your story ends up novel length, the way of treating the story is different from that of an actual novel. for example, because you're working under the premise that everyone knows the characters already. the general style of fics is different as well.

in fact, the style is the main reason i'm saying this slfkslfkslkf

read a lot of stuff and find a style you like. think of it as sewing together pieces from here and there to make a frankenstein amalgamation: this person's metaphors, the comparisons from here, the descriptions from there

personally, i adore the "long one-shot with a long title formatted (like this)" fics that are mostly feelings and descriptions and as little dialogue as possible, and some that occasionally play with the "show don't tell" rule, and some months ago i read a book whose descriptions amazed me because you could feel what the character was focusing on the most, rather than being general descriptions of the situation (i actually have a lot of thoughts about descriptions but that's a post for another day). but also i really like dialogue and plot-driven stories, descriptions can get boring and before trying to break rules, you have to be really good at following them

but, let's go step by step: developing an idea

for this i'm going to mostly reference the multichap i finished a while ago as an example

i started with just a few vague concepts in mind: non-idol au with aizou who does some sport and likes music but is insecure about his singing and yuujirou who does some music related thing and encourages him to sing in a way that's somehow related to the hozier song to noisemaking (sing), because it's what inspired me to write in the first place

then, from then onwards i wrote down what would happen in the first chapter of the story bullet-point-list-style, including things like the roommates part or the clubs the boys were in (at first yuujirou was in the choir club lol the change was a last second decision that idk why i took) and then bits of dialogue here and there that would be The Turning Points. those first dialogues were for the fight at the end of ch 1, the apology-date in ch 3 and then some vaguely unused ones for the "yuujirou encourages aizou" part, as those were the first key moments i thought of

because, since it's enemies to friends to lovers, an important aspect was character development

not all fics have character development bc not all of them are long enough (if you're aiming for short and sweet then there's no need). but if they do, i recommend you write down how the character was at the beginning of the story and then how they were at the end and then fill in the middle later, think of what those key turning points that made the character change were (the more little things you add, the more gradual it'll be)

samishigariya illustrates this very nicely: the song starts and finishes with the same lines, but the ending ones feel more light-hearted. the beginning has pre-arisa ken and pre-getting-along-with-yuujirou aizou, when they were the lonely people the title mentioned, and the ending, when they're not lonely anymore. the in between can be seen in depth during the other songs: ken before arisa was a playboy who didn't take love seriously, but after meeting her he realized that games were not all there was to love; and aizou used to be quite cranky and high-key a loner, but then he "meets precious things and knows of love". i will not elaborate on that because this isn't an aiyuu post but Oh You Know

for the fic, aizou would go through that same process, more or less: someone who doesn't really form meaningful connections with people but who, in the end, would end up having quite a bunch of people who care about him as his relationship with yuujirou advances too

since the relationship was the main focus, i wrote a very simple outline for how it would develop throughout 5 hypothetical chapters that was just: 1. civil w each other but mostly bad > 2. bad > 3. half friends > 4. pining > 5. date

and then with that in mind and the bullet point list, the final basic outline ended up like this:

there were scraped ideas and ideas that made it in later, but i believe having a simple outline, a bare skeleton to add things to, is important. stories need continuity, development requires a prior buildup

it's especially important in multichapter fics where you post as you write, you need to have a more or less clear idea of what's going to happen because you can't ignore scenes you've already posted

shorter stories don't need it as much, you can think as you go, but it's still helpful to know where you're going with things to avoid getting stuck

and, on getting stuck: don't be afraid of deleting things. if you can't figure out how to continue things, then delete the situation and start again. it might feel like you'd be wasting time but in the end, it is so much better than being stuck on the same scene for weeks

in fact, you don't have to write in order. jump to the next scene and you'll figure it out later. you Can write the scene you want to write and then build everything else around it

it's normal to write a scene and then realize it would make more sense later in the story, or that it would be better if you added another scene earlier, or sometimes you just find it easier to jump from one part of the story to another. rely on your outline to keep track of what you've written, what you have left to write and what's the best way to arrange your story. make your story understandable

which bring us to editing

there's a lot of much better posts on editing stories, but yeah ctrl+f is your best friend: don't repeat yourself too much. and be sure to vary sentence and paragraph length, as well as sentence structure, to give dynamism to the writing

now, i've mentioned before the show, don't tell rule, but i'm going to talk a bit more about it because it's quite important

once again there's a lot of posts that explain more in depth what it is, so i'm not going to expand too much on that, but, very basically, try to avoid things like "then some time passed and they became friends". explain it: what happened exactly? how did they become friends? if it's important, show it to us, instead of summarizing

since things like these make the story longer, it also gives room for more development and proper explanation for things that happen

for example, the fic was originally going to start with them already in the room, and the whole situation would have been explained in a single paragraph somewhere, but by actually adding the scene where they first arrive to the dorms and argue with the lady at the main desk, the story flows better and it let me actually describe their first meeting

and uuuhhh i think that's all? this took super long to write i hope i didn't forget any super basic stuff lol

i want to add that for enemies to lovers i greatly recommend this post bc it's super good but yeah i think that's basically it, if you have any more specific questions just shoot me an ask

[third-rail-vip]

fic writer interview

Tagged by @adventuresofmeghatron

I’m late so you’ve probably already done this but tagging:  @laurelsofhighever  @tanaleth  @asaara-writes  @allisondraste  @pchberrytea  @red-hot-chili-tiefling

Thank you for tagging me!  Sorry it’s taken me forever, my imposter syndrome has been laughing loudly in my face at the idea of being considered a ‘writer’.  Please, come in, sit down and have a look see at my complete lack of process or general idea of what’s going on :) 

Name:  Ginger

Fandoms:  Fallout 4 currently.  Dragon Age a while back.

Where you post:  I put all my full fics on AO3 and if it’s a shorter one then I post the whole thing here on tumblr too.  If it’s giant then I post a snippet here with a link to AO3.

Most Popular One-shot:  Based on kudos The Wanderers - yeah i’m surprised too.  It was my first venture back into writing after taking time out and it was a whole new fandom and a game I was new to.  It was a fun silly little exercise in me learning my new otp and working out their fairly early days dynamic.

By comments, it’s Complicated.  I’d had that one in mind for a while before writing it (probably why it took 4 rewrites before it felt how I wanted it to).  It’s a good bit of post-feral encounter wound tending and hurt/comfort with some feels starting up (or becoming harder to deny).

Most Popular Multichap:  I don’t have any multichapter fics any more.  Once upon a time I had a Dragon Age Origins one.  I’m not good at the commitment of multichapter.  I made it 14 chapters into that one and it took me so long to drag myself out of Lothering I took it out back and shot it.

My Fallout one shots are part of an ongoing series - Then I Met You - which is a series of snapshots of Ivy and MacCready relationship (it’s still in pre-relationship stages right now).  It’s mostly character driven rather than main plot driven, but it does fit within the fallout 4 canon with some backstory and timeline canon divergence.

Favourite story you’ve written so far:  You know what, it’s my least popular Fallout one, but I have a soft spot for Blood & Rain.  It’s the second one I wrote and it’s Ivy’s pov with a hint at her pre-war life (she’s a non-canon origin sole survivor).  I got to indulge myself in writing descriptions and some action - my old faves from when I used to write (pew pew is way harder to write than stab stab).  It’s also got a really important bonding moment between Ivy and MacCready.

Fic you were nervous to post:  Every damn one.  Sharing anything you’ve made really is putting a little piece of your heart out on a platter for everyone to see and waiting to see what will happen to it.   I guess The Wanderers was extra nerve wracking because it was the first thing I wrote after telling myself I’d never go back to writing, it was kind of a make or break experiment.  Blood & Rain because of the potentially triggering material, hoping I’d touched personal subjects with enough sensitivity but also still telling the story I needed to.  

How do you choose your titles:  hahahaha WELL, I finish faffing with the main story in AO3 and then am outraged that I’m expected to have a name ready before I can post it.  Honestly though, I’ve no formula.  They all have working titles in google docs which tend to be either a vague description of what’s happening, or a song title/lyric that’s running through my head while I write.  Like, the current fic I’m working on is ‘mass pike pt 2’ which is a useless title since the part 1 was actually called Gunners & Grudges.  And I won’t know until posting day what I’m going to call it.  

I did put some serious thought into a title for my series - Then I Met You.  I was cycling through song lyrics or things that might be a general vibe for them but settled back on one line from MacCready’s final affinity chat, “then I met you”. And it just fit so well.  Meeting each other is a turning point for both of them; whether you just look at it as making a friend in the wasteland, or finding some direction after drifting for too long, or there finally being a glimmer of hope after a long time in the dark (this all counts for both of them), something changed when they met.  

Do you outline:  Sort of.  I have a massive ‘fallout notes’ document where i just jot down whenever i have an idea of something i want to write, or just random bits of dialogue that spring into my mind (that may never see the light of day again).  From there, if I want to expand them I tend to bullet point with plot ideas, more dialogue, key backstory or important things I want to cover.  I tend to have multiple fics I’m doing this with at once and I bounce between them depending on where my mind has drifted off to that day.  By the time I actually come to write something, I tend to have a lot of notes to work from, in fact quite often I have to cut back on all the ideas I wanted to cram in and some things get slotted back into the giant fallout doc for future reference.

Complete:  I only have one shots, so technically they’re all complete and can be read, for the most part, individually without you needing to have read the others.  They will make sense, there might just be some context from previous one shots in there.

In progress:  Then I Met You is an ongoing series for my Mac x Ivy one shots.

Prompts?:  I do put prompt list out there for Mac x Ivy when my brain isn’t cooperating and I feel like a need a little extra inspiration.  For the current series I’m hoarding them and working them into the context one shots I have planned.  Pretty much all my Dragon Age Origins one shots over on AO3 were prompt fills.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about:  Ugh guys we’re getting close to them getting together territory and boy do I wish my brain was being cooperative so I could get these couple of stories in between down on the page and could start working in earnest on those ones.  There’s a lazy morning in bed after a big party fic I’m really looking forward to writing (I’m looking forward to both tbh) - any excuse to explore stories behind scars and tattoos and I’m there for it.  I’m even getting a commission from the amazing @tarberrymentats  for it *discord wiggle*, so yeah, I’m excited about getting to that one!

Anyway thank you for reading my ramblings x

[shemakesmusic-uk]

Simpson is a Richmond-based singer and rapper who you may also know as Babe Simpson, one-fourth of the Tumblr-born rap collective Barf Troop. They dazed the internet back in the early 2010s with their uncensored, forward-thinking rhymes and aesthetics, and even got the attention of Drake. Though the collective has gone silent in recent years, Simpson has since cultivated her own steady following around her soft, and ruminative tunes. Her latest is 'Cherry Ice Cream Sundae,' a song about "treating ourselves with as much tenderness as we treat everyone else," she says, and is backed by a lush landscape of jazzy guitars and drums — a sound that could be considered a close sibling to the rap lullabies of Noname. Simpson's now sharing the song's peculiar video, which features a charming but eerie cast of marionette puppets. Over email, Simpson explains that she wrote the song after experiencing "a feeling that I’ve always been trying to put into words but I don’t think I was mature enough to be able to sing. I reached my breaking point where I was like, f*ck it, whatever happens, happens, and I’m gonna look on the bright side everywhere I can. I’m going to 'smile because I can.' I actually changed the original opening lyrics from 'The world is in the shitter' to 'Life is kind to who’s kind to it back.' The world has always been in the shitter, but that hasn’t made it any less special or sweet. I think that’s made me much more of a realist. I recorded it tipsy, upside down, hanging off my bed as a freestyle, and it felt so natural saying and listening to it back made me feel so proud." [via NYLON]

Earlier this week, Lana Del Rey revealed the artwork and tracklist for her new album Chemtrails Over The Country Club. Back in October, Del Rey shared the album’s lead single 'Let Me Love You Like A Woman.' It was the first song she shared from the album after postponing its planned September release. Now, she’s sharing the album’s second single and title track. She’s also announced that Chemtrails Over The Country Club will be out March 19. In a lengthy interview with BBC Radio 1 — during which she talked about the Trump insurrection and her album cover controversy — she mentioned that Jack Antonoff produced much of the album, minus 'Yosemite,' which was produced with Rick Nowels. Watch a music video for the album’s title track, directed by BRTHR, above. In a different kind of statement, prior to the release of the 'Chemtrails Over The Country Club' music video, Del Rey explained why she is wearing a cast in it: "When you see my second video for this album, don’t think that the fact I’m wearing a cast is symbolic for anything other than thinking I was still a pro figure skater. I wiped out on my beautiful skates before the video even began after a long day of figure eights and jumps in the twilight of the dezert. Anyways my fracture isn’t that bad kind of goes with my new bucket hat. Thanks to my beautiful family for my gifts." [via Stereogum]

Joining forces for the new uplifting track, G Flip and mxmtoon are sharing new empowerment anthem ‘Queen’, produced by Rostam Batmanglij. "'Queen' was written about the strong women around me, the queens that raised me and the queens I’ve met through my years,” G Flip explains. “My idea of a queen is not necessarily linked to gender; queens come in all forms and walks of life. To me a queen embodies power and strength; they embrace all they are fiercely yet gracefully. The song was written one sunny day in LA, I was chillin on Rostam’s lovely white couch and he turned around to me and said ‘how about we write a song about Queens’ and I replied with ‘F@!K yeah!’. I’m also super stoked to have mxmtoon on the track with me, she is an absolute queen. I first was introduced to her when I was trying to find ukulele chords to a Khalid song and found her cover on YouTube years ago. She makes awesome music and her voice has such a cruisy timbre to it so I was thrilled to have her jump on 'Queen' with me. She is also an avid croc lover and part of the LGBTQIA+ community, so obviously it just made sense!” mxmtoon adds, “So happy to be a part of ‘Queen’ with G! she and Rostam were such a joy to work with and so so much fun to collaborate with on creative as well. I’m so glad that it’s still possible to make art and music with someone even when they’re on the other side of the world, and I’m lucky that I got the opportunity to feature on G’s song. ‘Queen’ is a power anthem for any person, and I’m so excited for people to love it as much as we do!” [via DIY]

With her hotly-anticipated new album Magic Mirror out now, Pearl Charles gave us our latest teaser of what to expect earlier this week, sharing new glitzy bop ‘Only For Tonight’. “‘Only for Tonight’ tells the story of a currently bygone era of wild nights out on the town - the highs and lows of one night stands and the crashes of the morning after,” she explains. “The music video, directed by Bobbi Rich, leans into those excesses, paying a sparkly homage to the late-night musical television shows of the 70’s, from Soul Train to The Midnight Special, as well as the gauzy, Vaseline’d lens of ABBA’s music videos. With an added sprinkling of VHS special effects, you’re likely to feel like you’re watching a home-taped recording of a lost episode of Top of the Pops.” [via DIY]

Alt-pop trailblazer dodie has shared her new single 'Hate Myself' in full. Everything the songwriter touches seems to turn into melodic gold, with her debut album Build A Problem landing this Spring. Out on March 5, it's led by new single 'Hate Myself', which made its bow as Annie Mac's Hottest Record In The World. It's an apt title, with this instantly-viral moment offering an "inner monologue" that touches on some of dodie's inner-most feelings. The song depicts "someone who seems to find themselves in relationships of any kind with people who deal with their feelings internally - unfortunately resulting in assuming the issue is with them." dodie co-directed the video alongside Sammy Paul, shooting at the Cornish seaside village Polperro. The pair "excitedly landed on the silly idea of the training leading up to becoming a post-lady, and thoroughly enjoyed planning the many bizarre exercises she would have to perfect. Our excellent Art Director, Louis Grant, worked on bringing her home and training station to life. Though jogging on cliff tops in the rain, carrying a large sack and slipping in the mud was certainly cold and exhausting, I think I preferred it to slowly feeling sicker, licking stamps on a swaying boat by the Excel." [via Clash]

Berlin-based indie five-piece People Club are back with new single and video 'Francine', following on from their last release 'Lay Down Your Weapons', which focused on police brutality.  The new single 'Francine' tackles the topics of addiction and lovelessness. In the words of the band: "The song speaks from the voice of a lamenting partner whose lover (Francine) is helplessly addicted to drugs. Francine lost interest in her relationship with the narrator a long time ago. It's a song about commitment and how love can fade away leaving only wickedness behind."  Regarding the visuals, the band said "The 'Francine' video is a play on the old idiom of 'being your own worst enemy'. A phrase which quite beautifully captures the inner critic which we know so well, especially during the course of the pandemic - we've had to learn to each give ourselves a break. The video was shot in the depth of the harsh Berlin winter, in the depth of the pandemic." Director Felix Spitta added "I love the band and I love the different personalities. It is always heaps of fun working on creative output together. Riding through Berlin only with bikes and all the film equipment in the freezing cold almost felt like a masochistic idea from Saxon. It's inspiring to be surrounded by so many creative minds.”

Pale Waves are back with 'Easy', the third single to be shared from their highly-anticipated second album Who Am I?. Lead vocalist Heather Baron-Gracie describes the new track as "a song about how love can change your whole entire perspective on life itself. It’s saying ‘being in love with you is so easy, you finally make sense in my life because nothing did before'." The new single is accompanied by a James Slater-directed video that shows Baron-Gracie performing at a Tim Burton/medieval-style wedding in an abandoned church. Baron-Gracie adds, "I wore a wedding dress throughout and we shot the video in an old abandoned church. I’m really inspired by the gothic medieval aesthetic and at the time I was thinking of the video I was watching a lot of Tim Burton films whose creativity really inspires me." Pale Waves' second album will follow their 2018 debut LP My Mind Makes Noises. Baron-Gracie says of their upcoming album, "For me, music and art is for people not to feel so alone and isolated. I want to be that person my fans look up to and find comfort in." [via the Line Of Best Fit]

The official video for Zoe Wees’ new single, 'Girls Like Us,' is online now. Like the song, the clip sends a message of togetherness and solidarity to girls around the world who are feeling the pressures of society. Zoe Wees says, “It’s not always good to think about how you look to the rest of the world. It’s much more important to think about how you feel inside. It is not easy to call yourself beautiful but being confident helps you to accept and love yourself.” The 18-year-old Hamburg, Germany-based artist adds, “We’re walking through a world with blinded eyes. At the end of the day, we all go to bed without make-up with the ugliest clothes and wake up with the messiest hair on earth.”

Julien Baker has shared a new taste of her forthcoming album Little Oblivions by way of a new single ‘Hardline’. Julien says, “A few years ago I started collecting travel ephemera again with a loose idea of making a piece of art with it. I had been touring pretty consistently since 2015 and had been traveling so much that items like plane tickets and hotel keycards didn't have much novelty anymore. So I saved all my travel stuff and made a little collage of a house and a van out of it. I wanted to incorporate it into the record and when we were brainstorming ideas for videos we came across Joe Baughman and really liked his work so we reached out with the idea of making a stop-motion video that had similar aesthetic qualities as the house I built did. I don't know why I have the impulse to write songs or make tiny sculptures out of plane tickets. But here it is anyway: a bunch of things I've collected and carried with me that I've re-organized into a new shape.” The video for ‘Hardline’ was directed by Joe Baughman, who notes: “Man, even after having spent 600 hours immersed in ‘Hardline’ and having listened to it thousands of times, I am still moved by it. It was a fun and ambitious challenge creating something that could accompany such a compelling song. The style of the set design, inspired by a sculpture that Julien created, was especially fun to work in. I loved sifting through magazines, maps, and newspapers from the 60s and 70s and finding the right colors, shapes, and quotes to cover almost every surface in the video.”

Teenage Joans are staying true to their world and unveiling 'Something About Being Sixteen', a new single that's sure to cement their 2021 as victorious. It's the perfect successor to 'Three Leaf Clover' and a track that makes it two-for-two for Teenage Joans, further capturing the excitement and energy within Cahli and Tahlia as they trade catchy riffs and thriving choruses with the combo of light-heartedness and intimateness that seems to define Teenage Joans' work, and how they're able to look in at themselves (and out at the world around them) through a lens that keeps it fun and digestable. "'Something About Being Sixteen' is undoubtedly Teenage Joans' great take on the classic coming of age rock tune, generally closing our live sets with audiences singing along every time without fail," the duo say on the single. [via Pilerats]

Kate Hollowell took a risk going by the moniker Number One Popstar when she released her debut single 'Psycho.' However, Hollowell didn’t mind if that choice set her up for failure or not. She goes with the flow. Luckily, that mentality has advanced her even farther. Now, Number One Popstar releases her second single, 'I Hate Running.' New Year’s resolutions are, most of the times, created for the wrong reasons. It’s also no surprise that majority of people’s goals center around exercising and weight loss. 'I Hate Running', however, challenges that mindset, satirizing the toxic nature of exercise industry and diet culture. Hollowell said herself, “The song explores facing the hard, emotional work instead of the physical.  I really don’t enjoy running, and I wanted to troll the exercise industry and write an anti-motivational song.” In terms of sound, 'I Hate Running' shares similar vibes to her first single with its classic 80s pop of saturated synths. But, this time, there’s a hint of disco with the zealous psychedelic guitar and electric drums and keys. The interludes consist of a symbolic, robotic, and almost sinister snippet from a workout instructor. It all complements well with Hollowell’s escapist lyrics. Even though the lyrics say otherwise, the track’s sound might just spark that motivation to workout or dance, doing mindful movement that makes us feel good. Exercise should never feel like a punishment, and Number One Popstar is here to remind us. She makes us want to stick it to the exercise industry, proving to it that we will only work out for the right reasons. [via Earmilk]

Alt-pop riser Chloe Rodgers has shared her new video 'The Algea' in full. The Nottingham based talent sparkled in 2020 in spite of the pervasive gloom, releasing two startling singles. Her third release could be her best yet, with 'The Algea' hitting streaming services just before Christmas. The video captures those mid-winter chills, while providing a platform for Chloe to express herself. Constructed alongside creative director Kate Lomas, it was shot at Newstead Abbey in Nottingham. Chloe comments... "I wanted to use a music box in the video to represent being objectified and getting stuck in the same cycles, as that’s largely what the song is about. I wrote the song when I was 18, but didn’t add the verse at the end about claiming my power back until a couple of years later when I felt a bit stronger. We tried to reflect this in the video too with the Chloe in white sort of protecting the other Chloe of the past." Kate Lomas adds: "This was such a joy to watch come together, the video concept is based around the idea that Chloe is the character in a music box, she’s the performer that’s spinning round on an endless cycle for other people’s entertainment. The video tells the tale of Chloe definitely breaking this cycle and no longer playing this role." [via Clash]

Jaguar Jonze has announced her ANTIHERO EP will be released on April 16 via Nettwerk Records. With the EP announcement, Deena shares the official music video for her latest single, 'ASTRONAUT,' the follow-up to two previously released videos for 'DEADALIVE' and 'MURDER'. Each of the five music videos for the forthcoming ANTIHERO EP will come together through bold-palette videos that transform into an antihero character “in a cyberpunk, anime, futuristic, graphic, almost sci-fi world,” says Deena. Deena adds, “as ‘ASTRONAUT’ delves into my anxiety, I wanted the film to reflect that in a simple way that helped portray how my anxiety can sometimes manifest - a contradiction between feeling lost in vast spaces and trapped in claustrophobic spaces. I had a specific idea in mind, which meant that I had to undergo stunt training with professionals and learn how to maneuver in a wire harness. Most of the video had to be shot in a single take because of the stunts' nature in safety preparation, time consumption, and impact on the body. I'm still recovering from the bruises, but it was all worth it, and the team was amazing in pulling it all together. I'm proud of this one as it is 3 minutes of my rawest vulnerability, visually interpreted. I'm also finally ready to share it.” 'ASTRONAUT' is the sound of Deena liberating herself from a lifelong battle with anxiety.  “It is a human trait. It’s how we survive in the wild,” she says. “We’re all wired as humans to be quite anxious.  As females more so, because we’re more susceptible to danger.”

Rising star Mulay shares the smoking visuals for her new single, ‘Antracyte’. It’s the culminating release in a three-part video series from the Berlin-based alternative R&B singer-songwriter/producer/artist, ahead of her highly anticipated EP, which comes out at the end of the month via Groenland Records. Mulay explains about the single, “'ANTRACYTE' is the intro and title track to my debut EP. It’s the soundtrack to the birth of a villain and captures the moment of complete honesty to yourself about the awareness of doing wrong by the ones you love while feeling the inability to turn around. It’s about the desire to taste forbidden fruits, to cross and explore what lies beyond the line and the self-empowering feeling of playing by your own rules defeating the fear of consequences and the power of moral concepts. 'ANTRACYTE' tells a story of contradicting emotions, a story of love, lust, pain and a longing for more. It’s about facing your own darkness and sins, about self-revelation, emancipation and about paying its price, resigning to your fate.”

Only a band like shallow pools could make a blast of 'ice water' sound refreshing and necessary in the dead of New England winter. But the Massachusetts indie-pop group is usually pushing against the current of what we’d normally expect, and now the quartet hits us with a dose of cold reality through their new single and video. 'ice water' is a vivid new single that confronts the mental health struggles brought on by quarantine and isolation, and even the shallow pools aesthetic has reflected this by shifting from bright glowing neons to a more subdued color palette of beiges and browns. Call it a sign of the times, and call 'ice water' the sound of now; upbeat and jovial on the surface, a comet of pop smarts and hooks, but with the darker shine that resides in our lives when we’re positioned away from the screens and digital scenes. As Glynnis Brennan sings “Every day’s the same and / There’s no breaking out / Like I’m stuck here / Going through the motions now” well, we feel that. shallow pools describe “ice water” as “a departure from the music we’ve made in the past, but it’s the perfect bridge between our old and new sound.” That is certainly the case, and 'ice water' continues to showcase the group as one of New England’s sharpest, following a string of 2020 singles that included pop standouts like 'Haunted' and 'Afterlight'. “We wrote the song with our friend and producer, Chris Curran, and learned a lot about the type of music we want to be making in the process,” the band adds. “The song is about the impact that the state of the world has had on our mental health, specifically in the last year. We’re excited to share it and hope that anyone who has had similar experiences will find some comfort in knowing that there are others who can relate.” [via Vanyaland]

[millennial-star-gazer]

The Draconic Demon Within: Chapter 4: A Demon’s All-Consuming Rage

The Draconic Demon Within

Genres: Romance, Friendship/Family, Drama/Angst, Hurt/ Comfort, & New Adult Fanfiction

Vera's April 2018 Prompts: Soul, Empyrean, Savage, Memory, Trust, Fear, Unstoppable , Resilient, Supernatural (Implied) Lost (Implied) and Loathing.

Nalu Lovefest 2017 Prompts: Dreams

Nalu Week 2019 Prompts (Implied:) Lost, Curse, Trial, Treasure, Chance and possibly Bare.

Pairing: Nalu/EndLu,( Natsu x Lucy/ E.N.D. x Lucy)

Rating: M for language, steamy and mature adult sexual content (all consensual) in these and future chapters. Reader Direction is advised.(You have been warned!)

Summary: Now faced with the reality of who he is truly is, the son of Igneel must contend with the new darker instincts of his new demonic identity- all while navigating through his ever-growing, intense feelings for a particular celestial wizard. Originally a Submission (semi -au) for Nalu lovefest 2017 (on my previous celestialgeekmage account and now an entry for nalu week 2019 with chapter 3. (Also was on my earliest previous accounts of teamedwardjace/Twishadowhunter in the past. Also part of Vera's April 2018 prompt challenge from fic-writers appreciation on cosmicdragonwizard).

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Chapter 4: A Demon's All- Consuming Rage

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A/N: Hey guys, it's your girl back again with another installment of TTDW! Fun fact: Being temporarily off work for a few weeks due to pandemic has provided some extra free time to edit and posta new chapter for this fic ( which is on account of the temporary closures of public institutions, and public spaces along with non-essential businesses/services in Ontario-the Canadian province I'm from). This isn't to suggest I'm not without fear or concern about the pandemic or potential effects on global infrastructure but at least I'm mostly coping as best as anyone can at this time. Hope you guys are all too. ( A bit more on this in the A/N at the end of this chapter .) Anyway, hope that this chapter and my other fanfics along with those from amazing writers can help you all while stuck at home. All right, that's pretty much my whole spiel for now. Without further ado, here's Chapter 4 of TTDW-Enjoy! 

(Note: Scroll down past the read more button/cut for the  designated legend menu and actual story content).

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Disclaimer: Fairytail does not belong to me, but to the most honourable Hiro-sensei instead, for whom without this work of love wouldn't be possible. 

Read Previous Chapters of TDDW and on platforms here:

(Copy and paste the links into another  window if need be)

A. Tumblr

Previous (Click Here:)  (or here: https://millennial-star-gazer.tumblr.com/post/185917542578/the-draconic-demon-within-chapter-3)

Next (Coming Soon:)

B. Fanfiction (Click Here:) (or here:  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13113898/1/The-Draconic-Demon-Within-Reupload-from-cosmicdragonwizardaccounts)

C. A03 (Click Here:) (or here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17365061/chapters/40861307)

2. Ongoing Master  Post Of All My Writing (Click Here:) (or here: https://millennial-star-gazer.tumblr.com/post/179665258923/master-fic-rec-post)

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Legend:

Italic: Song Lyrics/Quotes (or flashback dialogue)

Bold: First Person Thoughts

Bolded Italics: Empathized, stylized Word(s) or bloodthirsty fantasies

Bolded Italics (Within and Outside Bracket) including for author's side notes also known as (A/N:) within brackets (though none for side-notes in this chapter ).

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"Your body is full of rage.

Every sinew. It is easy to read.

You speak volumes with a clenched fist."

( Paolo Bacigalupi: The Drowned Cities)

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"Seriously? Luce's alive?

That…. I can't...

A wave of overjoyed relief was washing over Natsu from the spectacular news about his best friend still breathing.

"Hear that Luce?!" He sobbed, not bothering to wipe the moisture from his eyes." You're alive and gonna be okay— Thank God! Really... don't ... know what I'd do without ya…," Scarlet-red eyes remained focused/trained on the face on the motionless angel in his arms.

"Pretty sure the guild and the rest of the people we know would be just as devastated if they lost such an incredible person and wizard . Glad you're okay either way though." Natsu's hands were stroking sweat-plastered strands of Lucy's hair back from her eyes with delicate care .

Really glad she's still in fact alive and kicking…

In that very moment , it was as if the world had fallen away; leaving just the two of them. Nothing else seemed to matter then . Not cold-blooded enemies in the room, or the recent battle just moments before; Not even E.n.d's unnerving metamorphosis. Just a dragon-demon and his most precious star with those subtle breaths, the visible rise and fall of her chest that somehow escaped any kind of major notice before.

Words can't even describe how relieved I am . Digits combed through Lucy's blonde tresses from crown to tip in a physical display of tender affection.

Hmm... Lucy's hair feels really nice. Natsu couldn't help but marvel at texture of her beneath his fingertips .Don't think I've ever stopped to fully appreciate it before .

"Gotta say that your hair feels really nice, Luce." Natsu voiced this innermost thoughts aloud; though his words were coming in soft. ."Smells real amazin' too."

Damn was the appealing fragrance of jasmine with a hint of cyclamen flooding his senses beyond intoxicating."like jasmine and that other flower we saw once— cyclamen, I think. . You've been using a new scented shampoo again, I see. Not that I'm complainin'."

"Psh—Listen to me" Natsu tacked on with a rueful chuckle that was still a bit thick from all that weeping before. " Gettin' all sentimental and crap. Hell... stripper would never even let me live it down if he heard . Still be damn proud of you though just like I am for how well you handled yourself in battle. Why don't we tell him all about it once you're awake and we're out of here?. Bet he'd like that . Till then, the two of us just need to sit tight and figure out our next move, okay?"

Wait ...

The fire demon's hands continued their fond movements- only for blood to freeze in his veins when noticing an unsightly contusion on Lucy's forehead; accented by a small gash just above her brow.

When did this happen? I swear those injuries hadn't there been seconds before .. .

Crimson eyes scanned his best friend's battered frame for further damage in alarm . My God... Natsu's breath caught in his throat at the sight of that line of discolorations on her legs . Not to mention all those scratches along with the small gash peeking out through the tattered remains of Lucy's Star dress .

"Oh Luce..." He sighed, remorseful voice breaking on her name. "Can see that you're in pretty rough shape right now. I'm so sorry. Honestly don't know how or why you had a delayed reaction to all the damage. But this wouldn't have happened if I only had grabbed you and run or got your spirits to transport you to their world, Hell— Maybe we could've both escaped and I could've helped kept you safe while figuring out this new demon form means for us together. Anyways, time to put pressure on your wound."

A hand tore a loose piece of fabric to apply pressure on the hemorrhaging wound. "See? You'll be okay . Gonnal get ya' all fixed up and good as new in no time ."

Damn Luce stills looks like an angel to me, Natsu mused in reverent admiration . Even with those injuries...

"Ooh- how cute!" Jackal's dervisie voice cut  through  the other demon’s reverie; whose arms automatically protectively tightened around Lucy's frame out of fierce instinct-automatic without a second though. Not to mention those two pair of eyes he could sense that set him on edge."

"Aw Damn." Jackal broke in again with a gleeful taunt that bordered on sadistic."That poor,pretty girl of you is covered in ugly bruises and scratches, Dragneel."

That little ...

Natsu's head automatically snapped around to meet Jackal with a baleful snarl. Damn was that all that black rage roaring in his veins all too consuming.

"There's that growling again" Jackal cackled, clearly unfazed at by the alpha demon's bared canines ." Bared fangs and what not. Such a shame what happened to Blondie here , or is it? You really did a number on her, huh Tempester?"

"Huh," Tempester mused, bland disinterest colouring his tone."it seems I did . Kind of forgot that my curses can sometimes have o delayed side effects on people . Who knows? That pathetic wrench might even have internal bleeding.

"You goddamned bastard!" The flame- eater raged, fury boiling over. "Lucy ain't pathetic or some kind of toy to play with ... God.. All those injuries… are you fault and . I swear that You're both gonna pay for what you did to her!"

"Oh-You think so?" Jackal scoffed with let out another infantilizing laugh —beyond infuriating .

"Someone's rattled." Tempster pointed out, listless eyes trained on the stone-brick wall ahead. "Unfortunate."

"You don't say," Jackal deadpanned, with a disdainful roll of the eyes ."But Seriously Though , E.N.D, do you even hear yourself? .I mean getting all riled up over a human girl in that way —talk about pathetic. Sure said girl is extremely beautiful with a killer bod and feisty personality to boot—I'll give you that. But is she worth losing your cool over or fraternizing with? I don't think so and neither should you . God knows all that pent up rage and aggression would be far more suited for another cause. Not to mention, you'd better off without her life tainting your judgement and hindering your full potential as the most powerful of all etherious. So let's resolve this, shall we? Hand over the celestial wizard and I'll gladly dispose of her for you . Sound good?"

" 'Sound good?'Sound Good?!’ Are you kidding me?"!

Good God did those last words only serve to incense the snarling dragon further.

" There's no way in hell I'm gonna give Lucy up or let either of you touch her!"

"Come on Dragneel-be reasonable."

"No-rot in hell!"

"Oh honestly E.N.D.-"

"My name is Natsu!"

"Well okay then, Natsu— Just calm down ." Jackal's couldn't seem to resist reprimanding the fire demon; as if he were some errant child pitching a fit ."You're being ridiculous. Anyways, tell you what. I promise to make her death as qui-"

"Shut up!"

" Quick and mostly painless..."

"I said shut up!" En.d's voice rose to an ear-splitting roar that could've struck terror into the hearts of the gods themselves. "Try anything on her and I swear I'll kill you!"

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To Be Continued

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A/N: Well that's Chapter 4 folks- hope you enjoyed! Now a bit more about the pandemic situation in Ontario . Like many other provinces and countries around the world,, the government of Ontario has opted to shut down/ temporarily close non-essential services, businesses, public spaces and institutions to help curb the spread of the virus for a few weeks (or more) before spring break. Such institutions include all schools and childcare centres/ services in those settings which applies to the childcare company I'm currently employed with. You know on account of most of their centres and programs being based in public schools. (Independently-run Daycares also remain closed. And yes i'm a ECE by trade for any who were wondering or didn't already). Schools and child cares were tentatively scheduled to reopen after April 5th; though the closures have been extended for another month (according to Doug Ford (the premier/leader of Ontario). Not ideal but at least it gives me some extra time for me to work on things alongside my writing(i.e editing upcoming chapters for fics and WIPS). All right folks, that's all I have to say on that subject.

As usual, please feel free to let me know what you think by leaving a comment/review , through a reblog or by any other means. Be sure to check out the rest of my writing while staying tuned for future updates of my fics and new projects along the way! (Links above, in the navigation and in bio If on tumblr . Also on fanfiction.) Anyway, take care and stay safe! Ta ta for now!

[dustedmagazine]

Dusted Mid-Year Exchange, Part 1: Activity to Jeff Parker

Irreversible Entanglements

Six years ago, newly moved to Tumblr, we looked for a fresh take on the mid-year best-of list idea, partly to be contrary, partly because some of us had no interest in writing about the same records over and over again. After some discussion — well, a lot of discussion — we decided to turn our mid-year feature into a sort of secret Santa exchange. We’d each nominate two records and each review two records, but, here’s the kicker, they wouldn’t be the same records. We’d trade with our fellow writers, and if it meant that we had to listen to music way out of our comfort zone, so be it.

Since then we’ve had smooth exchanges and rough ones – last year’s was especially testy, but what can you do with such an opinionated bunch—but it’s become a favorite annual event. This year was no different, except that no one was truly revolted by their assignments.

Unlike some years, there was no clear dominant pick, though Six Organs, James Elkington, Makaya McCraven/Gil Scott-Heron, Cable Ties and Irreversible Entanglements all got multiple votes.

We’ll split our individual album write-ups into two posts. Today’s covers records by artists from Activity to Jeff Parker. We’ll get to the rest of the alphabet tomorrow. On the third and final day, we’ll post writers’ lists. Participants included Tobias Carroll, Tim Clarke, Justin Cober-Lake, Andrew Forell, Ray Garraty, Jennifer Kelly, Arthur Krumins, Patrick Masterson, Ian Mathers, Bill Meyer, Jonathan Shaw and Derek Taylor.

Activity — Unmask Whoever

Who picked it? Tim Clarke

Did we review it? Yes, Tim said, “This music strains at the leash, held tightly in check by the motorik rhythms, while gaseous synths seek to permeate all corners of the soundscape.”

Ray Garraty’s take:

You wouldn’t know that it is a debut album, but then it’s a super band, so that doesn’t count. Vocalist Travis Johnson’s delivery reminds you a symbolist poet reciting some lines from his notebook, neither singing nor reading. Despite referring to violence in song titles and lyrics, this music is as far from violent as it can be. It’s too self-conscious to even carry symbolic violence but when on ‘Earth Angel’ the vocalist with the hook “I wanna fuck around” almost breaks into a scream, it turns into a whisper instead. It’s these small details that unmask the outfit’s postmodern disguise and show that Activity is the real deal, not a half-baked pastiche.

Decoy with Joe McPhee — AC/DC (OtoRoku)

Who picked it? Derek Taylor.

Did we review it? Yes, Derek said, “Decoy is a working group and a heady amalgam that recalls a dream fusion of Atlantis-era Sun Ra, Keith Jarrett’s marathon electric stand with Miles at the Cellar Door, and Larry Young circa his Blue Note moonshot Contrasts, while still relentlessly retaining its own flight plan.”

Jennifer Kelly’s take:

Wow. “A/C” is impressive enough with its wild unfurlings of trumpet and sax, its woozy meditations in bowed and plucked stand-up bass, its incendiary organ bursts, all rooted in jazz, but touching on the hot, experimental outposts of rock and soul and R&B, too. But the second side, “D/C,” is even more exciting, as the tumult of sounds gets more fevered and McPhee breaks out in song. Who can blame him? You want to join in. It’s a mind-bending swirl that boils up and over the edges, heady, excessive and exhilarating. So glad I got to hear this, Derek, and it reinforces the benefits of trading favorites, i.e. finding music that is way out of your normal circuit but, even so, exactly what you need.  

 Sandy Ewen — You Win (Gilgongo)

You Win by Sandy Ewen

Who picked it? Bill Meyer

Did we review it? No.

Andrew Forell’s take:

Experimental guitarist Sandy Ewen appears as much concerned with space as sound. On You Win, she treats her instrument as pure object to explore the minutiae of its potential. Patterns emerge like communications from distant galaxies or the gradual shift and warp of old buildings. The 5 tracks scrape and rumble as occasionally identifiable guitar sounds — feedback hum, plucked strings — flicker from the mix. Best heard through headphones, You Win demands concentration lest one misses the nuanced denaturing and subversion of Ewen’s work, which is as fascinating as it is challenging.  

Fake Laugh — Dining Alone (State 51 Conspiracy)

Fake Laugh · Ever Imagine

Who picked it? Tim Clarke

Did we review it? Yes Tim said, “These sharp, funny, warm-hearted songs are immediately endearing, yet shot through with bracingly sour ingredients.” 

Andrew Forell’s take:

Dining Alone, Kamran Khan’s latest album as Fake Laugh, is a collection of pastel Day-Glo bedroom pop songs that breeze by leaving barely a hair ruffled in their wake. Khan has an ear for a melody, a wistfully pleasant voice and a talent for arrangement that make this album an enjoyable listen but there is a nagging feeling that he is holding something back. Tracks like the finely wrought “A Memory” and Supertramp update “The Empty Party” stand out but Dining Alone feels like an intermediate step on which Khan tries out ideas and seeks a way forward although there is enough here to be optimistic about what might come next.

 Field Works — Ultrasonic (Temporary Residence)

Ultrasonic by Field Works

Who picked it? Justin Cober-Lake

Did we review it? Yes, in a May Dust, Tim Clarke wrote that “Stuart Hyatt’s latest compilation in the Field Works series is an absolute beauty — and timely given it’s being released during a pandemic whose origins may be linked to bats.” 

Derek Taylor’s take:

Most of the listening that I do in the service of reviewing music revolves around discerning who’s, what’s and how’s. Those sorts of taxonomic identifications feel superfluous, not to mention futile when navigating the music on Ultrasonic. Sources I mistook as aquatic (“Dusk Tempi,” “Echo Affinity,” “Music for a Room with Vaulted Ceiling,” and “Indiana Blindfold”) are subterranean, specifically the echolocation emissions of bats. Harp and piano sounds dapple “Silver Secrets” and “Sodalis” as instrumental signposts, but they’re outliers in a program that feels largely electronic and beyond the scope of scrupulous inventory.  

The closest, if admittedly antiquated, genre descriptors I have for these ecology-minded creations are ambient and new age. A seraphic, celestial quality suffuses most of them with sweeping washes of tonal color layering over more definable rhythms and progressions. The combination curiously reminds me of a distant temporal relic that served as childhood gateway to this sort of territory, my father’s vinyl edition of Ray Lynch’s Deep Breakfast. It’s another feeble attempt at a compass point and evidence of how difficult it can be to escape the ingrained habits that influence personal musical consumption.

The Giving Shapes — Earth Leaps Up (Elsewhere)

Who recommended it? Arthur Krumins

Did we review it? Yes. Arthur said, “You feel like you’re being carried into a dream, familiar yet strange.”

Ian Mathers’ take:

There’s just something nice about a record where, a few minutes after putting it on, your partner suddenly remarks “you know, this is very calming”. It’s not that the work of Robyn Jacob (voice, piano) and Elisa Thorn (voice, harp) is soporific or somehow uninvolving, more that there’s a somehow centered kind of deliberateness with which they approach these songs that feels oddly reassuring. The way their voices often echo lines (or slightly altered lines) back at one another can feel vaguely Stereolab-ish, but rather than the coolly pulsing, layered grooves (and transient noise bursts) of that outfit, the simplicity of the arrangements here feels direct and clean and often comforting. But it’s the type of comfort that lets you see the difficulty you’re trying to tackle head-on, not the comfort that swaddles you away from having to deal with the world. It’s more bracing than lulling, in other words, and frequently beautiful at that.

  Irreversible Entanglements — Who Sent You? (Don Giovanni/International Anthem)

Who recommended it? Andrew Forell.

Did we review it? Yes. Andrew Forell wrote, “Who Sent You? is an extraordinary statement lyrically and musically.”

Bill Meyer’s take:

I’m inclined to agree with Andrew Forell. When I first encountered the vocal-focused free jazz of Irreversible Entanglements in 2018, I was more taken by the band’s focused exchanges of energy onstage than I was by their self-titled debut LP as a listening experience. But its successor steps up their already powerful game by easing up just a bit. They’ve let more air and variety into the surging rhythms and interweaving horn lines, opening up space for vocalist Camae Ayewa’s words to land with even more impact and staying power. Ayewa, who also records as Moor Mother, is more of a poetic declaimer than a singer or rapper, and her expressions of cultural memory and existential survival in the face of remorseless racism and economic terrorism boom over the music’s ebb and flow with inspiring authority. While her words are always applicable, this record sounds like it was made to be heard in a time of plague and revolt; when people ask in years to come what record sounds like the middle of 2020 felt, a lot of people will hold up Who Sent You?

  The Jacka — Murder Weapon (The Artist / EMPIRE)

Who recommended it? Ray Garraty

Did we review it? Yes. Ray Garraty said, “this album confirms Jacka’s status among the greatest fallen soldiers of hip hop.”

Tim Clarke’s take:

Despite being a posthumous release whose title refers to the artist’s tragic death by shooting back in 2015, Murder Weapon by Bay Area rapper The Jacka is a surprisingly cohesive listening experience, largely thanks to the lush palette of old-school samples employed on many of these tracks. From the aching strings on early highlight “Walk Away” via the swinging funk of “Can’t Go Home” to the children’s choir on “We Outside,” there’s a warmth and humanity to this sad story that honors the artist’s memory.

 Ka — Descendants of Cain (Iron Works)

Who picked it? Ray Garraty

Did we review it? Yes, Ray said, “Descendants of Cain, Ka’s seventh album combines the epic bleakness of the Old Testament with Brownsville’s hopelessness.”

Tobias Carroll’s take:

Shamefully, this is my first exposure to the music of MC and producer Ka; it’s his sixth album overall, and I’ve got some catching up to do. For an album with a title and cover art that could just as easily fit on a doom metal album, what surprised me was how focused this all was. The album flows beautifully, with music that fits somewhere between sinuous soul and the art-damaged Americana heard on, say, Matmos’s The West — with a handful of cinematic samples topping it off. It’s a perfect match for Ka’s voice, which manages to be textured and beatifically smooth all at once. Some albums paint a picture for the listener; this one is wholly immersive.

Matt LaJoie — Everlasting Spring

Everlasting Spring by Matt LaJoie

Who picked it? Tobias Carroll

Did we review it? No

Ray Garraty’s take:

Matt LaJoie’s technical verbosity is on the spot here, as all the man-made sounds can be mistaken for something Nature produced out of its vast resources. Everlasting Spring is like a small water spring which flows and flows but can’t eventually flow into a river, being forever condemned to be just this spring. Everlasting Spring lasts almost for an hour (if we count a bonus track), and it’s six minutes for every string LaJoie’s guitar has. Not many men can admire nature for that long. The whole album has that New Age-ish feel, when you can start listening to it from any track, and nothing will change in your views on it.

Maybe it does give a good mimesis of what spring sounds like but we still need a change of weather from time to time.

 Mamaleek — Come & See (The Flenser)

Come and See by Mamaleek

Who recommended it? Jonathan Shaw

Did we review it? Yes. Jonathan said, “Their dominant textures are still harsh and confrontational, vocals are still howled and shouted. But there are riffs. There are melodic structures.”

Justin Cober-Lake's take:

As black metal, Mamaleek would hold their own, but there's a persistent work to stretch boundaries here. Come & See keeps a core mix of sludge and anger, but the group's inventiveness keeps the album consistently surprising. The group finds brighter tones than anticipated, even while moving away from metal more toward alt-rock at times, and post-rock at others, and generally finding expressions that require a hyphen. An occasional breakdown touches on jazz or finds its roots in rock 'n' roll. “Cabrini-Green” functions like a suite — track the movements and break the track into its separate pieces — even as it avoids a sort of linear sequence. “Elsewhere” (and, indeed, much of the album) turns out a demented history of hardcore. The record probably won't find much of an audience outside of the metal scene, but listening past the obvious trappings reveals a wealth of influences and a complexity that makes for intriguing listening across genre strictures.

 Jeff Parker — Suite for Max Brown (International Anthem)

Suite for Max Brown by Jeff Parker

Who picked it? Arthur Krumins

Did we review it? Yes. Arthur said, “Following the looped, electronic and eclectic New Breed, Jeff Parker’s latest album expands into an even greater range of off-kilter sonic experiments.”

Tobias Carroll’s take:

Before this year, my knowledge of Jeff Parker’s music came largely from his work with Tortoise. And that’s far from a bad thing; Tortoise is a fine band. But hearing Parker push further into the realm of jazz with Suite for Max Brown is its own form of delight, where precisely-played melodies meet instrumental virtuosity. It’s an eminently listenable album, and one where I’m still noticing new moments of subtle beauty in the mix.

[captainkippen]

Hi Aaron, I read your writing tips tag & found it really helpful, but I was wondering if you had any other advice for me. I used to write original works years ago but I lost a lot of motivation & stopped. Recently I've thought about getting back into it, but this time trying to write fanfiction as well. I've never written fanfic before. How do you come up with ideas and, more importantly, share your writing & open yourself to critique from others (i've never shared my writing publicly before)?

Hi, Anon! First of all, thank you! I'd forgotten all about that tag. I'm glad it's been useful for you!

Loss of motivation is tough, and getting back into the swing of things can be difficult, but it's never impossible as long as the desire to write is there. Good on you for wanting to get back to it and I'm excited for you to delve into the world of fic writing!

Brainstorming ideas

Music

To answer your first question, there are a lot of ways I personally come up with ideas. First and foremost for me is music, I like to sit down with my headphones in and let my thoughts wander while I'm listening. A lot of inspiration can come from lyrics, or from the tones of songs, and sometimes even just letting yourself drift results in ideas popping into being. That's not for everybody, but it definitely works for me.

Imagery

Another is imagery. Try looking at Pinterest or on other social media for pictures that might give you a spark. I like looking at specific aesthetics I enjoy and building scenes in my head from there.

Prompts

On Tumblr, or even just googling, you can find a lot of writing prompts which might give you a start for ideas. Try looking at those, or even asking people you talk to for prompts, and use it as an exercise to see where you end up.

AUs & Borrowing Storylines

That might be a misleading subheading — I'd like to clarify I do not think you should commit plagiarism. What I do mean is, when it comes to fanfiction at least, a lot of stories are borrowed from books and films. Sometimes it's fun to write an AU based on a romcom or a fairytale, in a lot of fandoms you can find a 10 Things I Hate About You AU, and as long as you're using your imagination (not copying the OG source word for word) and clarifying that your story is loosely based on something else that's fine!

Many fics are set in AUs (alternate universes). You could try looking at types of AUs and seeing if any of them spark an idea for you. AUs are the best thing about fanfiction in my opinion. Ranging from Canon Divergence - set in the canon universe but taking a different course of events according to the writer - to Coffee Shop AUs, they give you a lot of scope and room to breathe. You can have fun with AUs, and the best part is that, even if someone else has already written a particular AU, fanfic readers are always hungry for more. I'd once again like to underline the importance of not plagiarising — stealing other's work is not cool. There's a line between taking inspiration and straight up copying.

Looking For What's Missing

I would have a think about the kind of fics you love to read, and ones that you haven't yet seen in the fandoms you want to write in. If there's a hole you think needs filling, especially if it's very niche and just for you, then go for it. Be the one to bring that story into being. It's a great feeling.

Research & Artefacts

I've found in the past that looking at specific objects or events can often inspire ideas. Say I had a tin of tea, or saw an old sign on the road pointing to Polperro, I might decide to look into the history of those objects and find myself several hours later up to my ears in research on the tea trade of the 1800s or Cornish smugglers. Researching things that catch your interest is a great way to develop new arenas, characters and narratives in which you want to tell your stories.

Have a look for news articles or interesting nonfiction books you have lying around and flick through them, they might contain that first spark of an idea and lead you down that research path for yourself.

Writer's Notebooks

Leading on from that, the next thing I would recommend for generating ideas is writing things down. Ideas will pop into your head more than you think and it's important to get them on paper (or in the notes app on your phone - mine is an absolute mess) because you never know when two ideas might link and turn into a full story.

Another way to use a writer's notebook is through observation. Go out and pay attention to your surroundings. Make notes on any people, places or events you come across which catch your interest. This way, if you're ever stuck, you have a bank of inspiration ready and waiting.

Sharing Your Writing

Offering up your work for others to read can be really nerve wracking. I'm doing my MA in Creative Writing and I still find it downright terrifying to share my work with my classmates, however critique and feedback are really useful tools for developing your writing skills.

I like to think of my fics as writing practice. When I publish them, the feedback I get is helpful in figuring out any chances I need to make to the story or to my style. The best thing about fic readers is they're generally very friendly and understanding. I find that focusing on that fact makes me feel a little more confident in posting. This confidence will help you develop your original works too, you'll be more open to sharing with others and getting feedback. It's especially interesting to share with other writers when developing ideas because sometimes you just need a different perspective to bounce your thoughts off.

Taking that first step and hitting publish is the most difficult part, but once you've done it once it gets less scary. My advice to you is just to write something that makes you happy, make sure it's edited to a readable standard (I am often guilty of giving up and pressing publish without giving it a second glance, sorry guys, you don't want to be me with this), and it's something you want to share. Having other people read your work and talk to you about it can be really fun, you've just got to dive in headfirst.

This answer for away from me a little. Anyway, thank you again for your kind words and I hope my advice is helpful! Enjoy your fic writing endeavours, wishing you the best.

[go-events]

GO Rom Com Spotlight: @epi-vet​

The most excellent @epi-vet​ (also Epivet on AO3 and epivet on Spotify) has claimed Persuasion to adapt for Good Omens in the Good Omens Rom Com Event.

For reference, here’s a little background about the source material!

About Persuasion: Eight years ago, Anne Elliot rejected Frederick Wentworth, the man she loved, out of a sense of duty and obedience. Now an ignored and faded spinster, she follows her financially stricken family from their home, only to be reintroduced to the now successful and wealthy Captain Frederick Wentworth. With their roles reversed and Captain Wentworth the eligible and wealthy bachelor, Anne navigates the scheming society that still tries to keep them apart.

We spent some time chatting about how the adaptation is coming so far, as well as future plans for it! Now, get to know @epi-vet​ a little better!

* * *

goromcom: You know how if you open a Tumblr chat with someone you haven't chatted to before, Tumblr tells you two things they post about? I wanted to tell you that yours reports that you post "about #geeky data and #good omens". I can appreciate someone with an affinity for geeky data. Can you share any sort of interesting geeky data with us?

epi-vet: #Geeky data is fun, but my favorite homegrown tag is #QuantifiedFandom. In the real world, I work with a lot of data for modeling and prediction. I liked the idea of using those skills to understand the fandom better by looking at the data crumbs around it. Right after I saw the show, I was intrigued by how quickly Good Omens playlists multiplied on Spotify. Then I did what any totally health sane person would do. I downloaded 300 Good Omens themed playlists and started crunching numbers. Throughout the summer and fall, more and more playlists were popping up. I did a second pretty exhaustive pull of 1400 playlists in December. I analyzed the most common songs, length of playlists, artists, differences between playlist themes (Ineffable Husbands versus Demon Crowley), and more. Two of the top four songs weren’t even in the show (#1 Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy and #4 From Eden). Bob Dylan’s You Angel You is the most underappreciated Ineffable Husbands song. “You angel, you; You got me under your wing...” Really. Google the lyrics, we’ll wait.

I’m epivet on Spotify where you can find the top 100 songs from Good Omens-themed playlists, the top 50 Ineffable Husbands songs, and my own scene by scene playlist with links to a Google doc explaining each selection and identifying key lyrics because, again, totally healthy sane person here. I’m also running the GORomCom discord-created playlists as well.

goromcom: And I listen to those playlists a lot! Thank you! But on to your rom com! You chose to adapt Persuasion. Has this story been a favorite of yours, or is there some other reason you chose it?

epi-vet: I’m a longtime Jane Austen fan. I love how she pokes at the constraints and absurdities of her time. Persuasion is my favorite because the characters are more mature, more human. Anne breaks off her engagement with Wentworth, and while she regrets how things have turned out 7 years later, she also can still see the reasonableness of her choice. The story has one villain and some unsavory characters, but many of the characters are complicated people who make the best decisions they can (except for Anne’s father who is ridiculous).

The 1995 movie is infinitely better than the 2007 one; I will brook no argument.

goromcom: I wouldn’t dare! :) What's your favorite moment of the story, and are you looking forward to presenting it in your adaptation? Any loose plans for that scene that you can share?

epi-vet: Wentworth’s letter to Anne in the dramatic climax:  You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. *swoon*

I’m still working that scene out, so I’ll instead share some fun I’m having making poor Gabriel my comic relief. The book opens with the Anne’s father reading his own entry in the Baronetage. His rank defines him, so reading a Who’s Who provides him the reassurance he needs. Gabriel begins my RomCom loudly reading his visitation of Mary, especially loving the “Fear not, Mary” line. He soon after complains to Michael “[the humans] don’t even cower before us. Really, when was the last time we had to say, ‘Be not afraid?’” He also serves as my Lady Dalrymple in the Italian concert scene from the 1995 movie. Aziraphale is trying to keep Crowley from leaving (due to genre typical misunderstandings), and Sandalphon is pulling him back saying Gabriel needs him to explain the buffet – he’s worried he’ll Fall if he eats shellfish.

goromcom: Oh goodness, so many angel/demon shenanigans. I can’t wait. Other than those details, do you plan to stick very closely to the beats of the original story, or make bigger changes?

epi-vet: I think one of the best Jane Austen adaptations ever is Clueless. When we watch a period drama, we view everything through a buffer of temporal distance. Everything is slightly foreign, and it can soften the impact that a contemporary reader would have felt. I suspect viewers of Clueless, in some ways, have an experience much closer to Jane Austen’s readers’ experience of Emma.

I’m taking the plot of Persuasion and applying it as closely as I can to our characters from the moment the tv show ends. I did lots of character mapping and tried to stay true to the heart of the work, like Amy Heckerling did to Emma in Clueless. I did end up with one original character because I just couldn’t figure out how to work the plot with only Good Omen canon characters.

goromcom: I’m actually a big fan of Clueless as an Austen adaptation too, so I like where you’re going with this. 

Let me see if I can get one more tidbit out of you before I stop! What's an interesting decision you've made in your planning so far--a notable casting decision, a changing of venue, or some other plan you have to paint Good Omens all over your rom com?

epi-vet: Since I’m writing it as post canon in the Good Omens universe rather than putting Aziraphale and Crowley into Regency Britain, I get off easy there. I am trying to take a lot of the dialog between Aziraphale and Crowley from the show and flip it. So Aziraphale is the one who needs to do something or Crowley will never speak to him again. Aziraphale is unforgiveable. Also, I’m including some nods to the Good Omens book. Crowley takes the properly demonic activity of gluing coins to the sidewalk into the tech age with an app. It, of course, backfires spectacularly. I also have a hopefully charming and funny Golden Girls reference.

goromcom: Always down for a Golden Girls reference. Rose is my homegirl. But let’s leave some things undiscovered until your story debuts, and move on to the final question. I am blatantly stealing this last question from The Good Place: The Podcast, but here goes: Tell me something "good". It can be something big or small. It can be a charity you think is doing good work, or you can talk about how great your pet is.

epi-vet: RIPMedicalDebt. For pennies on the dollar, you can wipe out someone’s medical debt. For everyone outside the US, this is a completely bizarre concept, but it’s a big deal in the US. Medical debt happens when you lack health insurance or have limited health insurance. You didn’t charge too much on your credit card. You didn’t buy a house you can’t afford. Something happened to your health, you sought the care you needed, and you are now destitute. These debts don’t get paid back often so they get bundled and sold to various institutions. RIPMedicalDebt buys those debts cheaply and then forgives the balances owed. Individuals, community organizations, churches, and other groups have used them to do immense good.

goromcom: So important, and I had no idea this existed. Thank you for sharing it with us. 

And also, thank you for sharing details of your upcoming GO adaptation of Persuasion, coming very soon now!

[ckret2]

“You’re so vain” “Give em hell kid” And “I hope you die” I’d love to hear those explanations

Righto! Okay so recap for the people who might have missed it, this is about the radiosnake playlist I mentioned/linked a bit over a week ago, Serpentine & Demonswing. When I posted it I also added an “and if you wanna know why any songs are on the playlist you’re free to ask.” The playlist is a work in progress so some of my answers are gonna be “so here’s the explanation for why it was included but tbh I’m not 100% on keeping it.”

Important things to mention before getting into it: the playlist is build specifically off my headcanons from “Cold Day In Hell,” and so all of the songs act on the assumption that CDIH is “canon.” (tl;dr: they’re exes, because Alastor got scared of emotional intimacy, told Sir Pent he never actually liked him, and ran off after blowing up all his airships.) The first chunk of songs is from Sir Pent’s perspective, the second chunk is from Alastor’s, the third is from them both or about them both, and the last few songs are “I like the vibe but honestly am not sure this fits the playlist.”

Also, y’all are welcome to keep asking me about songs, because this is a lot of fun.

I’m absolutely sure that tumblr is going to delete this read more out of the post but I’m going to put one anyway, maybe it’ll let this one work just to be contrary. If it doesn’t, I apologize for the dash stretcher, that’s just how tumblr do.

So! Explanations:

You’re So Vain (Lyrics)

This one is on the Sir Pentious side, so, although it’s not directly/accurately about Alastor, it is about how Sir Pent sees him in light of their catastrophic breakup.

Verse 1 is less on the nose in its description of Alastor, but you get the impression of someone who is obsessed with how he comes across to other people, and who is far more interested in himself and the image he’s giving off than he is in any of the people he’s trying to impress. A great deal of Alastor’s personality is—or at the very least, comes off as—completely performative. As though to this day he’s still nothing but a radio host performing for a listening audience, even when he’s only talking to one person. The fact that he’s always wearing a fake smile and pointedly providing his own sound effects adds to that impression of a performer who never breaks character.

And the fact that the character in the song is still wholly self-absorbed even when he’s dancing with a partner gives a nice little glimpse into how Sir Pent’s retroactively reinterpreted his last evening with Alastor.

Verse 2 is the stanza that comes closest to completely accurately reflecting what went down between them. First, the alliance between them, the implicit promises that they the were going to conquer Hell and then Heaven as partners in crime—“Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair / And that you would never leave”—and then, the breakup—“But you gave away the things you loved / And one of them was me.” It’s the one line that acknowledges that the character in the song did, indeed, actually love the singer, and wasn’t just performing a role/playing at being in love.

It’s also a line that would ring false to Sir Pentious, because in the aftermath of CDIH, he genuinely doesn’t believe that Alastor ever loved him. He completely buys Alastor’s claim that he was just screwing around with Sir Pent’s emotions for his own entertainment. Words to the effect of “one of [the things you loved] was me” would never come out of Sir Pent’s mouth.

However. Of all the lines in all of the songs in Sir Pent’s portion of the playlist, that one line is the most accurate thing that could be said about Alastor, the blade that would stab into the core of who he is and the role that he played in this story. Because of his vanity—his selfishness, his pride, his obsession with his own independence, his fear of love, his fear of vulnerability, his fear of sharing his life with someone else, etc.—he didn’t just lose what he loved, he did very deliberately and intentionally give it away.

(I’ve always found that line to be the most interesting in the song, for the hint that this vain person did indeed truly feel for someone else, so I’m glad that line fits so well here.)

Verse 3 is just more “what Alastor is like as observed by Sir Pent,” except even more accurately than the first stanza. Constantly running around, constantly moving on from one brief source of entertainment to another (just stuff “threw his support behind the Happy Hotel” somewhere between “gambled on a horse race” and “watched an eclipse”), constantly socializing with dangerous people and people whom he’s going to hurt without caring in the slightest.

Okay so that’s the lyrics.

Making sure the aesthetics/styles/genres of the songs match the character they’re for is one of my high priorities on this fanmix—not to the extent that having the wrong style is an instant dealbreaker, but I’m going to be hesitant to include a song that doesn’t at all match the sound I’m going for. For Sir Pentious, I’m kind of running with two styles.

The first style is “sounds Victorian-ish enough to get a shrug and a nod from anybody who doesn’t actually know/care about Victorian-era music,” so that’s gonna be just about anything orchestral/symphonic that doesn’t clearly fall into a different genre, symphonic metal that sounds symphonic enough to satisfy me, instrumental covers of other songs (string quartets, piano, full orchestra...), things with harpsichords (LISTEN i know that harpsichords are more baroque but they’ve got the right Vibe, you know, they’ve got the Feeling), and things with organ—but like, it’s gotta sound like pipe organ (pipe organ—sounds like a church) and not like Hammond organ (Hammond organ—sounds like a baseball game). Also steampunk, except a lot of “steampunk” genre music sounds swingy/jazzy, so those songs get ruled out because that’s Alastor’s aesthetic. And also, like, actual classical music, but I’m not into a lot of actual classical music, so I don’t think any’s actually made it in yet, lmao.

The second style is based on what the creator herself said about Sir Pent’s music preferences: “Sir Pentious would listen to Blink-182. Pentious would literally listen to stuff like Linkin Park, Green Day, the emo stuff.” So I took "the emo stuff” as “oh okay cool so the stuff I listened to at 15 got it” and ran wild with that. I’ve been most heavily drawing from My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, and Mindless Self Indulgence to represent that half of Sir Pent’s preferences. (MSI because I feel like that fits an in-your-face and morally jaded villain, P!ATD because their newer stuff fits his flamboyance and exuberance and egotism, and MCR because... because I know them best.) I haven’t yet made much time to carefully comb the discographies of the other bands listed or look into other more traditional emo-associated acts.

Carly Simon’s original “You’re So Vain” matches neither of these styles.

I combed through about 60 different versions of “You’re So Vain” on Spotify looking for ones that meet one of these aesthetics. Like 90% of them were, I’m pretty sure, just various singers adding their vocals directly over a karaoke version of Carly Simon’s original.

In the end, the only one that came close was Marilyn Manson’s cover. He’s a bit outside of the bounds I try to stick in for Sir Pent, but like, okay, he’s industrial metal, but in a particularly goth way, that’s close enough to emo. To my mind, “Sir Pent listens to emo” is like... Sir Pentious’s musical preferences are going to be, 1) counterculture, the kind of stuff that causes conservative Christian moms to go into moral panics, but also 2) mainstream counterculture, the kind of bands that produce huge hits & get featured in major blockbuster movies, but also also 3) slightly dated mainstream counterculture, i.e., at the end of the 2010s he’s listening to the bands that may still be popular but that peaked in the mid 2000s, in keeping with the way he’s trying to keep hip and modern but always seems a little bit behind.

So, in the 2010s, he’s listening to 2000s emo acts. In the 2000s, he was listening to the 1990s’ biggest metal acts (like Marilyn Manson) and possibly grunge acts (things like Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins). In the 1990s, he was listening to the 1980s’ biggest post-punk and new wave acts (like The Cure, Joy Division/New Order, Depeche Mode). Always evolving his stylistic preferences, always trying to keep up, but always a little behind. So that’s how I justify putting Marilyn Manson in lmao.

Although that was the only version of “You’re So Vain” I thought fit well enough, I also found a version by Trash Pour 4, a version by Les Reed Orchestra, and a version by Giant Sand that were all very good. Trash Pour 4 is driving me crazy because I can’t quite figure out what genre they are, I just can’t place them—but they’ve got several other good covers that I’d like to take advantage of at some point.

I also found a song called “You’re So Vain (Christian Dior)” by The Energy Commission that’s not a cover of Carly Simon’s song, just a new song with the same name. I’m lowkey considering including on Alastor’s side of the playlist. It’d serve as a very sharp critique of how image obsessed Sir Pent is, there’s some snappy turns of phrase that seem like they’d appeal to Alastor’s sense of humor (my two favorites are “He went off the deep end ‘cause he’s so shallow” and “He’s got a timepiece on his wrist and it says ‘watch me’”), the fact that it’s a critique specifically of high class materialism fits with the fact that I headcanon Sir Pent as coming from British nobility while Alastor’s ancestry is both racially and socially mixed (including at least one close relative who was a slave, I’m thinking a grandparent but haven’t settled on my headcanons yet), and I love when there are parallels like that in playlists about the relationship between lovers/partners/rivals/siblings/any-combo-of-two-people.

The reason I haven’t added it yet is because, by the end of the song, it’s not just a critique of being a rich shallow image-obsessed douche, but specifically of how that culture ties in to exploitative capitalism that’s wrecking human lives and the world—which, in the context of the characters we’re talking about here, would translate into a criticism of Sir Pentious’s very-imperialist-sounding take-over-the-world villain ambitions. Which isn’t something I think Alastor cares about. He probably should, but like, he just doesn’t. He’s a villain himself. I’m sure he’s got his own morals and standards and hard limits but “take over the world” isn’t on his list of dealbreakers. What’s taking over the world include? Mass murder and subjugation? Yeah, he’s cool with that. So that’s why I’m still on the fence about adding it.

Give ‘Em Hell, Kid (Lyrics)

So remember how I said that My Chemical Romance is one of the bands I’ve drawn from most heavily so far in looking for emo Sir Pent songs? Yeah for about a day there were six different MCR songs sitting in Serpentine & Demonswing as I slowly whittled them down to the ones that I thought fit best. “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid” is one of the last three, and actually one that I’m constantly on the verge of cutting.

Lyrically, it’s an Alastor song. There’s mentions of the singer having come from New Orleans (listen... i am a sucker for songs that mention New Orleans, it automatically earns five points on the imaginary “is this an Alastor song?” rubric in my head). The singer is singing about a love interest who’s gone, and he’s making no moves to pursue/reclaim the love interest, wishing them well (“So go on, live your life”), but he’s a wreck and a lesser person without them (“If you were here, I'd never have a fear,” “Well I'm a total wreck and almost every day”), and it’s just getting worse with time, not better (“But I miss you more than I did yesterday”).

The line “Some might say we are made from the sharpest things you say” although directed toward “you,” i.e. the love interest, i.e. Sir Pentious, in my head actually reflects more on the things Alastor said to Sir Pentious: the cruel things he said to Pent—that he’s weak, ineffective, behind the times, a has-been, never going to conquer hell—ended up a self-fulfilling prophecy, because that’s exactly what Alastor’s rampage made happen. Today, as he is now, Sir Pentious is made from the sharpest things Alastor said.

“Your dreams and your hopeless hair” makes me think of Sir Pent’s wild efforts to conquer hell (and, of course, his ridiculous cobra hood), and “We never wanted it to be this way for all our lives” is a perfect expression of Alastor’s regrets/remorse over what his actions have done to both of their lives, but especially to Sir Pent’s life.

And all the references to violence—murder scenes, firing squads, sharpest things—fit with the fact that both of them chose to live lives soaked in blood.

So it’s a perfect Alastor song. The only problem is, it’s an MCR song, which is sooo far outside of my acceptable genres for him. (I’m not gonna get into Alastor’s genres now bc there are better songs to do that on, just know emo ain’t it.) And not only is it outside of his acceptable genres, it’s in the OTHER character’s acceptable genres, which is very messy. I can vibe with “lovers’ songs borrowing from each other’s aesthetic” a LITTLE bit when it’s used to represent, like, emotional synchronicity or the like (ex: both “Roustabout” and Vernian Process’s “Maple Leaf Rag” are on my “Alastor+Sir Pent style fusion songs” list). But MCR is a big departure from Alastor’s acceptable styles.

Plus, the playlist already has two MCR songs, and do I really need three songs from the same band? Unless there’s a really good reason, I try to avoid having repeats from the same band on one playlist—I feel like a good well-rounded fanmix oughta have a diversity of sources. (With “a really good reason” being something like “I’ve got the playlist divided into five sections detailing five phases of the character’s life and each section is introduced with a different track from the same band” or “I’ve got an instrumental version of the song to kick off the playlist to serve as ‘foreshadowing’ for when the version with lyrics shows up at the most dramatic moment” or something like that.)

If I was going to, like, make it a thing, I could. Justify it like “there’s one MCR song that represents them when they’re together, one MCR song from Sir Pent’s perspective, and one MCR song from Alastor’s perspective, like a little triangle,” but like... if I was going to do that I feel like I’d want to do it with a style that’s either representative of both of them or else independent of both of them, and MCR is so heavily a Sir Pent sound. Basically, having three songs from one band would be okay if it was a band that vibes with the overall tone I’m shooting for in the playlist—but it’s not. So I’m very torn on “Give ‘Em Hell, Kid.”

“El Tango De Roxanne” + “Overture” + “I Hope You Die”

Okay before I can talk about “I Hope You Die” by itself, I kind of have to explain its exact position in the playlist and its relationship with the other two songs I just listed.

While MOST of the playlist is chunked up into the four sections I mentioned earlier (Sir Pent, Alastor, both, undecided), within those sections the songs aren’t really in any particular order. The one exception is the very first three songs on the playlist/the very first three songs in Sir Pent’s section.

These three songs, presented in that order, all as Sir Pent songs, serve as Sir “in war, the side remembered is the side with the most style” Pentious the Super Villain making his big entrance like:

“El Tango De Roxanne” starts slow/quiet, and then (with a couple of brief dips) it gradually builds in volume and pain and intensity, getting faster and more emphatic, switching from mournful longing to nearly-angry anguish, until it ends with a pained scream, steampunkish percussion, howling background singers, and a wailing violin.

And then it pauses, for just a moment.

And then “Overture” hammers you with the most dramatic opening chord you will ever hear on an organ in your life, perfectly matching the energy at the end of “El Tango De Roxanne” and maintaining that level of energy throughout the song.

And then it stops so quickly it’s like someone gasped, holding its breath for a split second—and then some dude yells “You must die! I alone am best!” and the guitars kick in for “I Hope You Die,” leading into a depiction of the most intense, vitriolic, disgusting sort of loathing imaginable.

The build-up from “El Tango De Roxanne” and “Overture” really revs up “I Hope You Die,” the intensity of the organ in “Overture” highlights the intensity of the guitar in “I Hope You Die,” and all together it hypes up what could have been just a dark humor song about hating someone into something that sounds like a very genuine demonstration of hatred.

And taken all together, it makes for a fantastic intro for Sir Pent.

It also serves as a perfect intro to the current state of affairs between him and Alastor—sort of expressing his personal emotional journey on the morning Alastor betrayed him, as his reaction transforms over the course of three songs from grief/despair to fathomless fury.

There’s more I could say individually about “El Tango De Roxanne” and “Overture,” but I won’t, because it’s “I Hope You Die” time.

“I Hope You Die” (Lyrics - warning for a whole stanza dedicated to hoping someone gets raped in prison)

A small handful of the songs in my Hazbin playlists were discovered in and added from existing Hazbin character playlists I found on Spotify before I started making my own. “I Hope You Die” was one of them, found here. Which is why it was added even though it doesn’t fit my strict genre standards, it won me over before I narrowed down the styles I’m working with lmao.

(I feel like “El Tango De Roxanne” was one of those too, but I can’t now find a Spotify playlist containing it that added it before I did. Where did I grab it from? It’s not something I would’ve looked up on my own, something must have inspired me. IDK what though. None of the other songs mentioned in this post were found on other playlists.)

So this song is, obviously, just about how much some dude hates somebody else and wants extremely horrible things to happen to them. It’s sorta... *eyes lyrics uneasily* ... sorta tasteless; but, tasteless in a way that I feel like reflects back on the character singing the song. The feeling I come away from after finishing the song isn’t “the band wants you to think the person they’re singing about deserves this to happen to them,” because it doesn’t even give a reason why the singer hopes this person suffers; but rather, “the band wants you to think that this is the kind of hatred that the character/persona the singer is portraying is capable of, this is the kind of vile stuff that character wants to see done to their enemies, this is representative of the depths of that character’s rage.” Which is why I’m like “yeah... okay, sure, that fits” even though I’m real iffy about the last couple stanzas.

Because for a character who’s in Hell surrounded by people who have stomped on the last dredges of their civility and decency, and a character who’s patterned after a super villain (and, because the series creator dropped the idea that there are heroes/villains in the living world, the only super villain in this setting), and a character who gleefully boasts about being evil, and a character who we know demonstrates very rapid/extreme emotions and expressions of hate/outrage... Yes, I can absolutely see this song as the exact sort of hatred Sir Pentious would level at somebody who’s slighted him. And Alastor blew way the hell past “slighting” him. Alastor, without exaggeration, has ruined his life (afterlife?) and over fifty years later Sir Pent is still unsuccessfully struggling to get back up to the level he was at before he even met Alastor. Right now, Sir Pentious really and truly and deeply despises Alastor.

A song like this—sheer, frothing, unrestrained, vengeful contempt—tells you a whole lot about what kind of emotions Sir Pentious is capable; and it tells you a whole lot about the kind of effect Alastor’s actions have had on him, to inspire this level of reaction from someone who was very close to him for fifteen years and increasingly in love with him for probably a good amount of that time.

Plus, the “You must die! I alone am best!” is such a very, very Sir Pentious sentiment.

So that’s those songs! Again, y’all are free to ask me for my thoughts on more. Yes, most of them will probably be like this, lol.

[mrsnazariowrites]

Yesterday

The Edge of the World: Chapter 9

Perfect Match AU

Pairing: Damien x MC

Perma-note: Dames’ name is Dexter in this series.

A/N: After weeks of studying for exams exams and just posting previews, I finally sat down and threw out the rest of this! 

I’m going to start posting everything via tumblr once again, but I will still be including the archive link to the same fic as well, just in case my read-more link malfunctions or you just prefer to read on the archive.

The supporting lyrics are from the song Empty Eyes, by Within Temptation

If you need to catch up, Chapters 1-8 is in my Masterlist

Link to the Choices Fanfic Archive version: http://choicesfanfic.com/content/yesterday/

Summary: Maya has a long-overdue conversation with Alana in their cell . . . and then some very hard truths to throw at Dexter. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang infiltrate the docks. Will they make it through undetected?

Disclaimer: Characters/canon belong to Pixelberry

You’re determined by faith you pretend to make up,

You lay out your case like the enemy

But all that you got through dirty white lies,

You find the damn correct way of blaming me for your crimes

Won’t you talk to me? Don’t walk or run away.

I’m onto you . . . yesterday . . . (with empty eyes)

----------------------------

The silence inside was stifling, save for Rowan and Cecile’s argument echoing in muffled yells through the metal walls. The cargo container Maya and Alana were currently shut in allowed for plenty of leg room, but at the moment, both of them were situated in corner, trying to gather as much as they could from the conversation outside; grabbing at bits and pieces of their words to get a clue as to what would come next. Nothing special seemed to come of it besides more vengeful, grandiose declarations.

At least until one name stood out to them.

Khaan. 

Maya glanced sideways and met Alana’s gaze.

“Does that name ring a bell for you?” the agent whispered.

Maya shook her head, biting her lip. “Nope. Never heard of him.”

“If this guy is so important to them, I wonder why he hasn’t shown up yet.”

As the voices outside died down, she sat back and took a deep breath which only seemed to tighten her nerves as her mind was bombarded with numerous theories. All she’d been able to get from this was that for some reason, they desperately needed this ‘Khaan’ guy to advance their Siren project. But what did that have to do with her and Damien? Wasn’t this whole thing supposed to be a ploy to recapture their group?

Then her mind shifted back to him as it often had throughout this chaos. Harley had taken him somewhere else while she and Alana were being held separately. And given that Alana’s presence here wasn’t even the original plan-

Maya’s heart sank and she drew her knees further in. Damien has something that they need. She inhaled sharply and looked back to the door. And now they have someone he needs too.

“Maya?” Alana’s calm voice came distantly to her, but she was hardly paying attention, still fixated on this new revelation. This was the only possible explanation. But as far as she knew, none of them had ever heard of Khaan. Did Damien specifically know about him? Or did he just know more than he was telling? Why would he hide it? What the hell is going on here?!

“Maya, look at me,” Alana said a little more loudly and Maya looked back at her, barely aware of how much she was shaking.

“What?”

“You okay?”

“I-” Maya blinked in surprise at the question. Not that that wasn’t a valid thing to ask, but more because it was Alana asking. “Yeah,” she cleared her throat to try and hide how much her voice was wavering. “As fine as I can be. You?” She glanced at Alana’s lip, which was slightly coated with some dried blood.

“Oh, this?” She gave a nod, smirking. “Please, I’ve seen worse.” Maya nodded in acknowledgement and moved to listen through the wall when Alana spoke again. “I’ve always hated liked Paris, you know,” she mused. “It’s so damn charming all the time.”

Maya quirked an eyebrow. “You have a pretty interesting definition of ‘charming’,” she said. “Cabarets and expensive bars not cutting it for you? You think this is any better?”

“What can I say?” Alana shrugged nonchalantly, barely giving away how she too, was trying to keep it together. The only indication of this was the way her foot kept tapping against the floor. “Keeps things interesting.”

Maya was about to elaborate on how dismal circumstances like this seemed like such a normal thing to her. But then a loud creaking sound jolted both of them out of their conversation as the door opened and someone walked in. The sole lightbulb hanging from the ceiling was dim enough to make out a familiar figure.

“Damien?” Maya instinctively perked up.

There was a scoff. “Afraid not.” Dexter came through the door, carrying two plastic plates of food. Alana watched suspiciously as he placed one in front of her. He noted her expression and rolled his eyes, his sarcasm plain for all to hear. “I’ve tried to keep any dietary restrictions in mind, but you’re gonna have to make do with what’s here for now.”

“Riiight,” Alana said dryly, eyeing the mashed potatoes in front of her. “Slop it is, then.”

He turned to Maya, handing her the same thing while she watched incredulously. The last time she’d seen that softer look in his eyes was when they were at the Louvre checking out paintings; talking and laughing together, speculating on what she’d believed was ‘their relationship’ and future. And it had all been a lie.

Dexter had been perpetrating a ruse and Maya had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. That’s what had brought them here to begin with. It was why Nadia and her friends were stuck in god-knew-where, desperately trying to find them. It was why Alana was soon to be an not-so-official missing person.

And now it was why Damien was in danger of being hurt or worse.

From the start, Maya had only been trying to do something good for Hayden, for the Matches. This was just supposed to be about exposing Eros and going back home, but now everything had spiraled out of control.

And he was the reason why. 

As she looked into the eyes of the man who’d deceived her, all Maya could think of was one question. “Why?”

Dexter raised an eyebrow at that question, then glanced at the plate, seeming to think she was asking about the food. “It’s . . . been a long day. Thought you could use some food in the mean time.”

Maya looked at the plate then at him, her face contorting into a snarl, and she slapped it out of his hands. Dexter’s eyes followed where she’d thrown the food. He remained stiff in place, opening and closing his fists again before taking a deep breath and then looking back at her, tilting his head meaningfully. “I think it’s in your best interest not to antagonize the one guy who’s actually being nice to you for once-”

“Please, do you seriously think you’re doing me a favor right now?!” She all but yelled in his face. “You’re the reason we’re in this situation in the first place, which brings me back to my first question: Why?” When Dexter didn’t answer, she piled on. “Back at the Louvre . . . you impersonated Damien, made me trust you . . . god, you even let me kiss you, I-” Her voice grew thick with emotion and she broke off, having to steady herself before she could speak again. “You took advantage of me, Dexter . . . Of my feelings, my fears. How could you?”

“I- ” Dexter opened his mouth to answer, only to be silenced by the look on her face. He found himself gazing into her eyes – eyes that shone with pure hurt. She watched him expectantly as he struggled to find the words that would’ve come more easily to him many hours ago. “My job was to lead you away from the museum. It’s not personal, Maya. I was acting on Father’s-”

“Father– wow, okay excuse me while I barf.”

Dexter let out an irritated sigh. “Mr. West’s orders. I have a job to do. That’s it.”

“Yeah, your actions at the forest made that abundantly clear.”

“Excuse me?”

“You stopped Harley from hurting me. Was that part of your job description?”

His eyes narrowed. “That has nothing to do with this.”

“Oh but I think it does.” Maya stood up, balancing herself in spite of the handcuffs binding her hand to the railing. “One moment you’re handing me over to Eros and then the next you’re yelling at Harley for hitting me? I can’t figure you out!” She scoffed, shaking her head. “Every time you look at me, I see him; his eyes, his face. I think of the sweet things he’d say that make me feel safe. But then I remember your hands on me. Dragging me away from the museum, holding me down while I kicked and screamed.” She pressed on, undeterred by the way he tensed. “You’re feeling it, aren’t you? The anger.”

Maya watched every tell of his that she knew matched that of Damien – the way his jaw clenched, the way his hand was shaking. “That’s how Damien felt when Rowan attacked me in the Arctic. It’s how he felt when he saw you pull me into the van. That’s how you felt when Harley did the same. And that’s why you’ve kept me away from him since then.”

“That’s- I was just trying to-” Dexter stammered for a second, then caught himself. He pointed a finger at her, glaring. “Look, no one asked you to fake a bathroom stop and then go running off into the forest. Whatever happened to piss off Harley, that’s on you.”

“Riiight, and I’m sure he was perfectly fine with you getting knocked on your ass by Damien’s ex-girlfriend.”

His turned a light shade of red as Alana chuckled at the remark, then threw his hands up, frustrated. “What exactly do you want from me, Maya?!”

“For starters, some honesty. You started this whole thing by lying to me and then kidnapping me on someone else’s orders. Then you suddenly start insisting that I shouldn’t be harmed, though you’ll look the other way when they hurt Alana or Damien.”

“I already told you, I don’t give a f-”

“Damien’s hands shake like that too when he’s nervous.” Maya’s reply hit him point-blank.

“That has nothing to do with this.” Dexter shoved his hands in his pocket, completely brushing her off as he stepped back.

“Bullshit!” She cried. “It has everything to do with the way you keep looking at me like you suddenly want to be some kind of protector! Stop looking at me like that when you don’t even mean it!”

He barely recoiled at those words, but whoever was sitting closer to him could see that his fists were visibly bunching up in his pockets as he endeavored to keep his composure. Maya knew that with every accusation she kept throwing at him, that was probably getting harder and harder to do, and she was playing with fire. Under normal circumstances, she’d have been a little calmer than this.

But now? She was too frustrated with her situation to care.

Dexter glared at her. “You think I want to look at you?” He fired back passionately. “That I wouldn’t rather just do my job and move on without Harley breathing down my neck? That it’s so easy for me to wonder why every time I see you cry, I feel like-” He immediately stopped and looked away, his face becoming as stony as it’d been before, but it was too late.

“W-what?” Maya’s eyes widened at this random slip-up and everything came to a standstill. Several seconds of uncomfortable silence passed until she finally managed to speak again. “You feel like what?” She unconsciously stepped forward, only to be held back by her restraints. “Dexter . . .”

“It doesn’t matter,” Dexter said, shaking his head. “None of it matters. You want an answer? Fine. All of these extra feelings are the real thing.” He continued to study her as she gaped at him, clearly not having expected that. Then he quickly added, “But I’m not the real thing, not your Damien. The sooner you accept that, the better it would be for you.”

“Dexter, it does matter. Stop pretending like you don’t have a choice. You do. You’ve always had a choice.”

“I don’t-”

“No, you’re wrong,” she shouted passionately. “Life is full of choices! And Matches are just as alive as humans! That makes you accountable for what you do. You chose to obey Eros, chose to deceive me, and now you’re choosing to ignore that you know this is wrong! Eros isn’t doing this anymore, Dexter! You are!”

There was a flash of hurt in his eyes that immediately changed to anger. “You know what? I’ve had enough of your whining,” he growled. “You wanna throw tantrums and piss off everyone you meet? It’s your funeral.” He swiftly marched over to the discarded food, scooped it back onto the plate in one swipe and then then threw it down in front of her. “Eat if you want, or go hungry. See if I care.” And with that, he strode out of the cargo container, slamming the door behind him.

Maya rolled her eyes and sat back down, fuming. She stared at the food for a few seconds, wrinkling her nose in disgust no matter how her rumbling stomach was betraying her at the this time, then looked away morosely.

Alana’s snarky comment broke the silence. “If you’re the best negotiator your group’s got, it’s no wonder you always manage to land in some sort of trouble.”

She whirled on her, irritated. “Oh sure, you’re one to talk about negotiating.”

Now it was Alana’s turn to roll her eyes as she picked up on the hidden meaning. “Aww, is the little princess still holding a grudge?”

“I- are you-” Maya let out an incredulous squeal. “It hasn’t even been a week! What did you expect, a heartwarming forgiveness monologue?!”

“Well, technically-”

“No, that doesn’t count!” She snapped. “Sticking together was what got us out of there. I stand by that, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten your role in this. And while we’re on my negotiation skills,” Maya leaned forward to emphasize her next point. “Let’s not forget that it’s my sweet-talking that got Rowan to reveal his plans despite the scene you made at dinner.”

Alana’s jaw dropped and she was silent for several moments, studying her until her smirk returned. “Impressive, Maya. Looks like there’s hope for us after all, that is, if your overactive limbic system doesn’t get us in trouble.”

“Can’t be any worse the way yours did.” To her surprise, Alana laughed at the jab. Another silence passed as Maya watched her curiously, partly hating how she felt her previous anger towards the wayward agent start to soften. Then she threw out the other question that had been stuck in her head ever since that fateful day in Moscow. “Did you really think Damien would’ve thought better of you if your plan had gone through? If he’d been safe and we’d all been thrown to the wolves?” 

Thanks to the poor lighting inside the cargo container, Maya didn’t notice Alana’s slight flinch at her abrupt question.

“I . . . hadn’t thought things through then. I realize that now.” The agent sighed. “I didn’t know what Eros was beyond what you had all told me. When you said they were after a robot and some files, I didn’t exactly forsee . . . this.” She gestured to the their dingy prison. “I mean this is dark. Really messed up.” That flicker of emotion in her eyes was there again. “Kidnapping, replacing people, to-” Alana immediately closed her mouth before she could finish the last word. She didn’t bother to look at Maya to see if she’d picked up on it.

Maya looked down at her lap, beginning to fidget with her hands. “Then why betray us like you did?”

“I didn’t see it that way then. At the time, my only interest was in keeping Damien safe. I didn’t know you guys nor did I particularly care about you.” She sighed again. “But given the last few days since the train, I see now that you’re . . . good people. Disgustingly annoying proportions of good in fact. I suppose I can see why Damien thinks so highly of you.”

“Alana . . .” At this point, Maya couldn’t help the intrigue she felt at what was probably the first genuine interaction between them. Before, Alana had shown nothing but disdain for them, which was easy to brush off, given her shaky history with Damien. But she’d still come forward to help when she saw their situation – albeit putting on a show of wanting to help for Damien’s sake, only to throw them under the bus for that very reason.

And now it seemed that the realization was hitting Alana harder than before – that not only had she grossly misjudged the wrong people on all ends, but her actions had also ended up endangering the one person she’d truly wanted to protect. Even if it hadn’t, the way things were going now, Alana would have earned his hatred if Maya and the others had had to face this alone.

“Bringing you to Eros was a . . . bad call. If I’d known what I know now, I . . . would’ve made a different call.”

Maya’s lip twitched. “Alana Kusuma. Are you trying to apologize?” The scowl forming on Alana’s face only heightened her amusement, lifting her anxiety and encouraging her teasing even further. “You must really like me. It’s almost like we’re-”

“All right, don’t push it, kid.”

————————————————-

Dexter paced angrily next to the cargo container, hardly aware of the faint conversations going on nearby. At this moment, he didn’t care whether anyone would see him practically lose his composure over one girl. He had every right to be annoyed now, if not before.

He had never exactly expected Maya to be cooperative, given the circumstances, but her anger was infectious. Every time she would let loose, it caught onto someone else and would spiral into a chain reaction that would come back to him. The way she’d easily angered Rowan was evidence of that. And considering the way Cecile kept egging him on, this did not bode well for anyone. This was bound to land them all in trouble if they weren’t careful. Why Maya couldn’t see that was beyond him.

What was also beyond him was why he was even concerned over this. As far as he knew, the mission was accomplished – yet every order he’d followed was starting to backfire on him. Limiting Harley’s apparent zeal for cruelty, following orders to the letter . . . Dexter had done it all, yet now it was his loyalty that was possibly being questioned.

He’d heard time and time again that it wasn’t in any Match’s best interest to cross Rowan – and he hadn’t. But after today, he couldn’t help feeling a pull toward the idea that something else was amiss. Was it from Rowan’s apparent, cold disregard for these people’s dignity? Based on what Dexter knew, Rowan at least seemed to be very attached to his creations, going as far as to consider them his ‘children‘.

Dexter wrinkled his nose a bit at that thought. Somehow, the label still didn’t sit well with him. He never questioned it, but that didn’t mean he welcomed it. As far as he knew, he had a mother and four sisters who he was one hundred percent sure cared for him . . . at least they would’ve if the relationship was actually real.

It wasn’t, though, nor was it his place to want that. No matter how real these details felt, they were as fake as his persona. So long as he’d accepted this, Rowan and Cecile were placated.

No, he was part of Rowan’s destiny, to carry out his vision for the Siren Project. Much like the mythical creatures of Greek lore that had brought doom to innocent sailors, he himself had charmed Maya – taking the form of her lover and charming her with sweet words, only to lead her and her friends into danger.

Sirens could wield power without lifting a finger. They were breathtaking, yet ruthless, cunning, unwavering . . . and held no remorse for their actions.

So why was he faltering now?

Dexter had done everything he was supposed to do. Eros was getting what they wanted today because of him. His subtlety was why their plan had worked to begin with. He’d had, what, only a few moments of sympathy for Maya’s plight? And now while Harley got off kissing Rowan and Cecile’s prissy asses, he’d just been scolded like some small child.

I’m not a child. No one tells Damien Nazario what to-

Dexter cut off his thoughts in realization, then balled his hands into fists. “God fucking DAMN IT!” With a yell of frustration, he blindly kicked at a box nearby, watching as cracked open and its’ contents spilled everywhere.

—————————————————–

Nadia and Sloane were crouched behind a large pile of boxes, surveying the area. Cargo containers outlined every area of these docks, like a maze. Where Hayden and Steve were at this point was hard to guess, considering how easy it would be to get lost here and in consequence, be discovered.

Once they’d arrived at the docks, they’d spent a good few minutes surveying the area until finding a spot that wasn’t patrolled by guards. The plan was for Hayden and Steve to snatch some guard uniforms for themselves, then use the former’s similar appearance to Harley as an advantage to clear the area. Then he would lead the rest of them undetected to a better vantage point where they could plan their rescue.

Until then, the others could only wait bated breaths. Nadia clutched Dipper closely to her as they did their best to stay hidden until Hayden and Steve returned. In the distance, she could make out silhouettes, bobbing in the ocean and she could feel memories coming back that she’d rather not relive. She quickly shook her head, trying to quash down any thoughts of what Maya and her friends were going through.

No, Nadia. No negativity allowed! We’re going to make it out of here. Period. Though she still couldn’t resist getting one particular thought out in the open.

“Hey Sloane?” she said quietly.

“Hmm?”

“I really hate boats.”

“Agreed.”

There was a loud crash and a shout from nearby and both girls jumped. Sloane instinctively clapped her hands over her mouth as a few figures came around the corner. Dipper’s ears were straightened up and her teeth bared. She was on high alert, but to her credit, remained quiet; it was as if she’d sensed the danger her guardians were in if she made so much as a sound in front of the wrong people.

“We’re back.” Steve’s loud whisper brought relief to all of them as he and Hayden approached them, dressed in the guards’ black uniforms. Nadia stepped out of her hiding spot and approached them, beaming as Steve wrapped her in a hug, instantly evaporating her previous worry.

Sloane was smiling approvingly as she took in their appearance. “This is perfect, very convincing.” she said. “With you two dressed like that, Eros won’t even know the difference.”

“Oh they didn’t,” Hayden laughed. “Once I walked up and started barking orders, they scampered off.”

“Did you find a place?”

He nodded. “The area I cleared out has a few cargo containers we can hide in. But we need to move fast.” And with that, he began to lead everyone in a certain direction.

“By the way babe?” Nadia looked to Steve, grinning. “You’re gonna save that uniform for after we get outta here, right?” Sloane and Hayden collectively groaned and she raised her hands defensively. “What? I’m just saying . . .”

“Nadia?!” An all too familiar voice stopped them in their tracks and they whirled around, ready to face whatever threat had just come their way. They froze when they saw him. Dipper let out a low growl and Hayden tensed.

Nadia’s eyes widened and she almost lunged forward, only to be held back by Steve. Taking a deep breath, she backed down and looked back to the one who’d just intercepted them, swallowing hard.

“Damien, is that you?”

--------------------

I don’t know where I’m going, in search for answers

I don’t know who I’m fighting, I stand with empty eyes

You’re like a ghost within me, who’s draining my life

It’s like my soul is see through

Right through my empty eyes

---------------------

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