#link would smash that jar

[i-llbehere]

[chaotic-archaeologist]

https://nypost.com/2024/08/28/world-news/boy-4-accidentally-smashes-bronze-age-jar-that-was-at-least-3500-years-old/

Your thoughts?

Personally, I'm kinda sick of museums being required to cater to kids so much. If you're going to do this open air exhibit, kids who don't know how to keep their hands to themselves just shouldn't be allowed in. The glass is there for this very reason.

Actually, I'm with the museum on this one. Is it unfortunate that the vase was broken? Yes. Was the vase a valuable piece of the past? Also yes. But I think the museum did something very cool by not having the artifacts behind glass and are handling this with good grace and the sense to make this a learning opportunity.

Sometimes we overlook the fact that museums often attempt to arrest or freeze artifacts in time. They are kept in controlled conditions to prevent them from deteriorating and even treated to reverse damage. Many things on display on museums are elevated beyond their original value, alienated from their original purpose, and closed off from interaction.

It's incredible that this jar survived as long as it did—and its age is what makes it special—but at the end of the day, it is still a jar. It has now experienced the thing that happens to pretty much every jar that has been or will be. After all, decay is an extant form of life. (If you want to read a very well written and interesting take on decay and archaeology, check out this article by Caitlin DeSilvey.)

The article I linked above provides some important context and the update that the museum is planning on using this as an opportunity to teach about the conservation process. The jar's story is not over; it is being pieced back together and in this next chapter in its life it will be able to tell two stories: one of its life and the other of its rebirth. The museum's approach embraces that, exactly like the Japanese art of Kintsugi.

I also agree with the museum's decision not to punish the child or his family. Things go wrong in museums all the time despite their highly controlled environments, and this is why they have artifacts insured. Sometimes the thing that happens is a child, and by and large museums do not seek damages.

I would encourage you to rethink your stance on museums and children. Museums are for everyone. Children have a right to experience museums and what they have to offer just like anyone else. There are also many studies that discuss how going to museums benefits children.

In this case, perhaps the exhibit design was slightly flawed, but the four year old boy accidentally knocked the jar over because he was curious about what was inside and wanted to investigate. Curiosity is exactly what museums should be encouraging. In an ideal world that curiosity would have been channeled into some other kind of engagement, but the folks who work in museums have a lot on their plates and cannot plan everything perfectly all the time. Even if they could, they often do not have the resources to do so.

Finally, the AP article mentions that the boy and his family were visiting the museum to get away from Hezbollah rocket fire. Regardless of your opinions on the current conflict, everyone deserves to have a safe place to exist. That museums can serve as those spaces is an honor.

I commend the Hecht Museum and the people working there. They 1) successfully provided a place of learning and refuge, 2) opted not for a punitive approach—which is often the default Western model for justice—but a compassionate one, and 3) are using this twist of fate to create programming that will further engage the public.

@museeeuuuum and @museum-spaces would you care to comment?

-Reid

[not-neverland06]

Crash of Worlds

Previous part / Next part

Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The Ghoul x fem!reader A/N: After this there’s gonna be more canon divergence - this one’s short (rope divider done by @saradika-graphics , cowboy hat/revolvers done by @firefly-graphics) Summary: You���d been expecting everything to be different, people, to be different. But not like this. Not to such an extreme extent. Maybe the vault had softened you more than you’d have liked but there was nothing to do about it now.

The green canopy of the forest provides a welcome relief from the heat. You and Lucy follow the signs pointing the way to Filly. You hear it before you ever get to see it. There’s a distant sound of yelling and the murmur of people. It has your heart clenching in your chest. 

You’re outside, breathing in real air, not oxygen from tanks. You can feel the breeze in your hair and hear people. It’s all you wanted for three years. Bud prepared you for a lot. But he didn’t prepare you for just how jarring it is to wake up and suddenly everything you’ve ever known is gone. You don’t feel the years you’ve been asleep. It was like it happened yesterday. 

But you’ve had three years to come to peace with what had happened. You can’t let yourself get wrapped up in this feeling of nostalgia. The raiders that came down to the vault were proof enough that the people you’re going to meet up here aren’t going to be anywhere near friendly. You know this world has turned into dog-eat-dog, Lucy doesn’t yet, though. 

She walks towards a large grove of abandoned cars. The paint has flaked off and the glass smashed in, but they’re not in horrible condition for being two hundred odd years old. You're distracted by the convertible she stands next to and you gasp. 

You rush forward, hand smoothing over the hood and grinning at the familiar feel. “I-”

You cut yourself off abruptly and Lucy looks over at you, a curious smile on her face. “What is it?”

You shake your head, “Nothing. Just excited to see civilization again.” You give her a terse smile, hoping she doesn’t smell the lie. You’d almost said that it was exactly like your old car. But that would have opened up a can of worms you weren’t ready for. 

She groans, linking her arm through yours and nodding. “I know, me too. The surface is definitely not what I was expecting.”

You sigh, glancing back at the car before stepping towards Filly. “Yeah, me either.” 

The noise reaches a crescendo as you finally manage to make your way into the market. There’s still signs directing you further through the woods so you figure this must not be Filly yet. Probably just a little place where people tried to peddle junk. 

A man lurches out at you holding out a kebab and grinning widely. “DOG MEAT!” You jump back in shock as he screams in your face. His eyes are unseeing as he waves the kebab around. “GET YOUR DOGMEAT HERE!” 

“Oh, what the fuck?” You mutter, you didn’t mean dog-eat-dog literally. You notice you and Lucy getting odd looks and you finally realize just how much the two of you stand out. In comparison, you're both well groomed and much cleaner than anyone here. 

Not only that but you’ve got the stupid Pip-Boy’s on your arm and vault suits on. You’re walking advertisements of “Come rob me!” You steer Lucy further through the market, narrowly avoiding a lizard meat stall and dragging her towards a tunnel at the end of the path. Filly’s just beyond and you shove her through the opening, eager to get somewhere where you might be able to find something useful. 

You seperate with the promise to meet back up in the middle of the town square. You’re going to look for something to change into and she’ll find some information on her father. Should be easy enough. 

He’s not supposed to be here. He’d gotten himself and all of his kind banned a long time ago. An impressive feat, considering how lawless Filly is. But no one’s going to say anything to him, no one ever has before. 

Any other ghoul and they would have been dragged right back out before they could even put a foot through the tunnel. But he’s not any ghoul, he’s the ghoul. And no one in their right mind is going to be the one to start a fight they’ve got no fucking hope of winning. 

He rolls the empty vial of RadAway around in his hand, hat tipped down as he waits for his mark to show up. Ma June, cantankerous old bitch that she is, always has good supplies. But she doesn’t sell to ghouls, and if he didn’t need her alive right now he would have shot her for turning him away. She’s a well known fence for fugitives and bounties. If his mark is going to show up anywhere, it’s going to be right here. 

Most of the people who try their hand at bounty hunting do it for the experience. They get bored, not that he can fucking blame them. After a while staring at nothing but sand and chickens makes a man go a little crazy. They don’t understand that it’s all a waiting game. 

Sometimes it’s an exhilarating chase, like a predator tracking down its prey. But more often than not he’s just waiting for a slip up. A mistake from whoever has a price on their head is usually what lands them in his hands. And the second this man decided to use Ma June as a transport was when he made his mistake. Everyone knows that Barv can’t keep her mouth shut for shit. 

When someone decides Ma June can help them, everyone knows where they are. It’s a big bounty, enough to keep anyone with a normal life cycle sated for the rest of their life. For him, it’s all about the hunt. The wait, that look in their eyes when they realize they're trapped and there’s nowhere left for them to turn. He loves it when he’s got them cornered. 

There’s a desperation to them that makes the capture all the more sweeter.  

There’s two bright flashes of blue against the otherwise dreary countenance of Filly. He doesn’t look up much, still trying not to draw too much attention to himself. He sees one, brown hair and wide eyed as she takes in the sights. Fucking vaulties. 

It’s been a while since he’s taken one of their bounties. Their tech was pretty valuable among surface dwellers and when one was spotted, which was rare, there was usually a good price on their head. He can only catch the back of the other one, her face blocked by a conveniently placed support beam next to him. 

She stops by the clothing stall, waving her friend along and speaking to the woman who runs the booth. Good fucking luck to her. There was no haggling with that woman and her prices were fucking ridiculous. He wonders how long it will be until he sees those two on the poster in some bar somewhere. He’s sure when the time comes, he’ll enjoy taking them too. 

His gaze goes back to Ma June’s shop, interest already waned in the rare vault dweller. They were never all that fun. Never had any good information and always had a stick up their ass about morals and being a “good” person. 

Finally, his mark turns up. Blind to the danger lurking behind him. 

You’re in a really shitty spot when the fighting starts. You’re overwhelmed by everything around you. Freaks in wacky ass clothes peddling their mutated animals and fucking teeth. Teeth. 

Teeth and bottle caps, that’s the currency now. Who decided that bottle caps were a good idea? Or teeth for that matter. You’ve only got so many of them. You don’t even want to think about what they’re getting used for.

The woman in front of you only has four of her own left and she’s demanding three of yours for a shirt. You’re not well versed in the economy of the wasteland, but even you’re sure that three teeth is a ridiculous ask. From the way people keep glaring at you as they walk by, you’re sure that she thinks because you’re from a vault you’re going to be gullible. 

You’re too caught up in your quickly escalating argument to realize what’s happening until it’s too late. A man stands in the center of the square, his back to you. You can tell from your view that he’s pretty badly burned, the skin around his neck and skull warped and twisted. 

He’s yelling about a bounty and your head tilts in confusion. There’s something to the lilt of that accent that sounds familiar. You take a step forward, abandoning the clothing stall and trying to place how you know him. It’s impossible, really, that anyone recognizable would still be alive. But maybe someone else got out of a vault and made it to the surface. If they did, it clearly wasn’t unscathed. 

It’s only when he pulls out his gun that you realize Lucy is standing in front of him, with the man that bothered her last night. You want to call out her name, try and catch her eye, but the last thing you need is him pointing that gun at you. You jump back in shock as he shoots the man’s foot off, eyes widening, and feet scrambling backwards. 

The woman in the clothing stall hisses, “Fucking ghoul,” and makes a run for it. You watch her go, finally realizing just how empty the square is now. Everyone has left, all of them terrified by the man in black. Your eyes dart between him and the stall. 

She’s gone, and you need clothes. You’ll deal with Lucy’s scolding later. You leap over the counter of the stall and begin to rifle through the woman’s stock. Stuffing any spare clothes you think will fit into your pack and just because she was such a horrid bitch, you steal her bag of caps too. 

The crazy old lady by the shop screams out a reward for anyone who manages to kill the man in front of you. When the guns start going off you realize just how screwed you are. You’re in the middle of the town square. Granted, you are blocked by the clothing stall, but these bullets they’re using aren’t ordinary. 

They’re getting holes blown clean through their chest and the buildings around them are damn near exploding from the impact. The measly little wooden stall isn’t going to be any sort of decent cover against them. 

You risk another look over the counter, hoping to find a clear path to Lucy or at least some better cover. He’s finally turned around now and you can get a half decent glance at his side profile. There’s nothing truly recognizable about him, just familiar. It’s hard to really tell anything about him when he doesn’t have a nose. 

You watch with wide eyes and a disbelieving expression as he takes three shots to the chest like it’s nothing. He keeps chewing on his tomatoes and slowly finding cover to reload. A ghoul. Hank and Betty had told you and the other’s about them. People poisoned by radiation. 

Most of them turn feral, but those who can find the right chems live a lot longer than any normal human should. They heal nearly immediately and are almost invulnerable to anything except their own disease. Considering how quick on the draw this guy is, no one has any real hope of taking him down. 

With the shooting redirected you leap out from behind the counter and rush towards the shop. But something stops you before you reach the door. You don’t know what it is, what connects in your brain that has you so harshly coming to a stop. 

You whirl around, ignoring the way Lucy calls out your name. He’s back out from his cover now. He aims, grinning and laughing as he manages to get two people with one bullet. Carnage is all around you. Blood flying through the air, surrounded by blood and guts. The relatively peaceful downtown has been littered with dead. 

And in the middle of it all stands him. You have to be wrong. There’s no fucking way he’s standing in front of you. You take a step forward and his head whips towards you. The rest of him isn’t recognizable, but you would know those eyes anywhere. 

His eyes widen with surprise and you feel your gut drop to your feet. This can’t be him. There’s no way. He’s slaughtering these people like it’s nothing. The man you knew could never be so casual about this. Then again, the relationship you’d had was built on lies. Maybe you’d never really known him. 

Before you can process the anger in his face you’re being jerked to the side. Lucy pants as she drags you into the shop and you look over your shoulder, shocked to find a bullet where you’d just been standing. You catch his eye, see the smoke coming from the barrel of his gun and realize he’d tried to fucking shoot you.

Shit, maybe it is him. He had always had a bad temper and a good aim. 

You can feel his eyes, tracking you even as you disappear behind the walls of the shop. You and Lucy risk a peek out of the shop when you hear something like an explosion. You gape as a power suit lands in front of him. What twisted ass blast to the past have you just been sent to?

How the fuck was Cooper Howard, ghoulified, and a power suit both in the same area? 

You had to be dreaming. There was no way this was happening. But it was, and whoever was in charge of that suit had no idea what they were doing. He’s ducking under their swinging metal arms, taunting them and drawing out the fight. He could end this now, you both know where the weakness is. 

Hell, you could end this fight right now. But you don’t see the need to kill the Knight when it’s clear he’s trying to protect you and Lucy. “We need to get him,” Lucy points frantically to the man on the ground. He’s not really moving, just clutching the bloody nub where his foot used to be and looking astonished at the blood around him. 

“This is really stupid,” you hiss as you both start forward and wrap an arm around one of his own. You don’t have much time to process what happens next. 

“Watch out!” The knight barrels towards you both. He wraps his arms around Lucy and goes flying into a building. You jump back at the explosion of wood and metal flying down around you. The ghoul has his gun pointed at them both. He’d clearly been trying to snipe you both, get you away from the man on the ground. 

Well, he could fucking have him. You drop the man to the ground and he grunts as you make a run for it. A coward’s move, the same one you admonished Norm for. But, you’re a fucking hypocrite, so what? Right now, you’d really just like to survive this gun fight unscathed. 

Something lands near your foot and you jump, realizing it’s a bullet. You glance up and the ghoul is laughing at you, full on belly laughing as he shoots around you. You realize with a start that he’s playing with you. Taunting you like a man who’s got all the time in the world. But you can’t stop running. If you stop, those bullets are going to catch up with you. 

You keep going, legs pumping and heart racing as you’re separated more and more from Lucy. The mission, the whole reason you came up to the surface, is lost on you. You can only focus on one thing, surviving. You keep running, through alleyways and around buildings until you’re back in the woods. The whole time his laughter is following you. 

The sharp noise of something whistling through the air reaches your ears and then something snaps against you. You glance down, only a moment to process the rope over your arms before he’s dragging you back. Your head hits the ground with a harsh snap, the motion slamming your teeth together and nearly biting off the tip of your tongue. 

You groan in dazed pain and then he’s slowly dragging you back. One sharp tug after another, rocks ripping at your suit and scalp, hair ripped out underneath your back. Until, finally, he’s peering over you, face upside down and lips twisted up into a strained smile. 

“Well, there you are, sweetheart.”

end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[hes-sunshine-im-midnight-rain]

Awkward stuff the demon brothers would NEVER tell MC (headcanon) part 1

part 2 here [LINK]

Mammon - his failed attempt at creating MammonCoin cryptocurrency

Leviathan - why he keeps his Ruri-chan figurine in a jar, if you keep asking him he'll summon Lotan

Satan - his cat fursona that he posts about on a secret social media account that none of his brothers know about

Asmodeus - his long list of ex-lovers and the fact that he's probably a father after all the succubi he smashed

Beelzebub - there are some restaurants that he got banned from

Belphegor - the last time he washed his sheets (there's a reason he likes to sleep in MC's bed)

Lucifer - his illicit affairs with Diavolo, anyone who finds out gets fed to Cerberus

[tealquacks]

As a juice reward for myself, I’m going to go through my playlist that I made for Ryoto Hishakaku and say why I put each song on my playlist + my headcanons about this guy bc there’s literally nothing about him on the wiki (except that he sucks so much <3)

Here’s the playlist!

(I also made it on Youtube for those without Spotify, link here)

Note: this isn’t the music I think he’d listen to. Frankly, I don’t think he listens to music. He listens to AI generated lo-fi or business podcasts when he needs background noise.

If my thoughts don’t make sense, it’s bc I was writing this over the course of a few days while working on a few papers and a bunch of college stuff.!

Song by song explanations is below! It's mostly focused on his characterization in 8888 but there's mentions of 6488 and 7579 :3

This admittedly got long. I am fucking crazy, but I am free.

TANGLED WEB by slowgramming

To start off, I chose a song from REPLYHAZYTRYAGAIN, which is an album that (if I remember correctly!) was made for SCP-8888, where Hishakaku features heavily in. The reason I chose it for Hishakaku is because of the title, frankly. Not only does SCP-6488 have a good deal of spider imagery, but Hishakaku himself is also underhanded and manipulative. While he hasn't been particularly successful with his scheming, he still does it.

Kiss Me, Son of God by They Might Be Giants

This song, I feel, represents the type of power Hishakaku wants (and briefly has in 6488). He has the O5 in the palm of his hand, and can put any enemy brave enough to stand against him in a jar, what more could he want? Also, I don't think there's much of a difference between admo!Hishakaku and 8ball!Hishakaku, personality wise. The difference between them is that 8ball!Hishakaku was stopped earlier in the timeline than admo!Hishakaku, and that 8ball had connections to the Wanderer's Library/other anomalous communities that would be too risky to have in the Admonition timeline.

Caesar on a TV Screen by The Last Dinner Party

"And just for a second I can be one of the greats I'll be Caesar on a TV screen Champion of my fate No one can tell me to stop I'll have everything I want Anyone and everyone will like me then Everyone will like me then"

I think that like. Despite his unwillingness to get close to anyone or be intimate, he's still lonely. He feels entitled to human connection, if that makes sense, and believes that when he gets what he wants then love will come naturally to him. However, he'd be more comfortable with worship than actual companionship, because romance and friendship both require a level of give/take and vulnerability Hishakaku refuses to give people. He refuses to be seen as "weak", and is scared of being hurt.

Black Honey by Thrice

"I keep swinging my hand through a swarm of bees I can't understand why they're stinging me But I'll do what I want I'll do what I please I'll do it again till I've got what I need

I'll rip and smash through the hornet's nest Do you understand I deserve the best? And I'll do what I want I'll do what I please I'll do it again till I've got what I need"

He kind of fucks himself over in 8888, doing risky things like working with a crime ring and trying to sabotage the mission— and he fucks himself even harder in 7579 and 6488. He acts in his own self interest without thinking, and ends up facing the consequences for it, again and again. I think he can’t get himself to stop, honestly. A part of me thinks that this pushing and pushing, trying to get more of “what he needs”, is trying to make up for things he doesn’t have— like friends, or anything else outside of work and fruitless grabs at power. This guy needs a hobby.

Oh No! By MARINA

"Don't do love, don't do friends I'm only after success Don't need a relationship I'll never soften my grip"

Yeah, Hishakaku does not give a shit about people or anything but his own success. Placeholder (the author) answered an ask about Hishakaku potentially being divorced. They said: "Hishakaku claims to be aro/ace on account of his violent allergy to intimacy. But that doesn't explain whatever's going on between him and Jerry in 8888". In the tags, he elaborated, "To be clear I do not think being aro/ace automatically means repulsion to intimacy. I'm mainly trying to express that Hishakaku has used the label to write off a part of his identity he is not interested in investigating, because Hishakaku is a fundamentally incurious douchebag who does not care for other people and does not want to acknowledge his incelness"

Speaking of Hishakaku not wanting to investigate his sexuality, I don’t think he wants to examine his gender, either. I cannot justify it in any way but I think he’s genderfluid, or would at least be a bit more confident if he allowed himself to present femininely.

This is something that is also in Caesar On The TV Screen, where the singer talks about being able to speak because they are wearing a suit/being masculine. Which could be a part of the reason Hishakaku doesn’t want to introspect over either his gender or sexuality— he is a man, and that gives him social status— at least over some people. If he examines his gender/sexuality and it turns out that he’s not a man, then he’d either have to live knowing that he’s not a man and do nothing about it, or embrace it, potentially leading to lost respect/influence. Idk if I’m making sense but!!! Idk I think about him a lot.

ANYWAY back to Oh No!

"One track mind, one track heart If I fail, I'll fall apart"

Because Hishakaku doesn't give a shit about anything but himself and his own goals, if he fucks this up he's COOKED. He has nobody to turn to, no friends or support system. That's his own damn fault.

"I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly I'm gonna fail, I'm gonna die I'm gonna live, I'm gonna fly I'm gonna fail, gonna die, die, die, die"

Every single SCP Hishakaku is in ends with him eating shit and getting his comeuppance. He's kind of doomed to fail, since he feels like he can only find contentment in power and control and refuses to look inward/embrace the things that could bring him happiness-- I.E, the relationship he has with Jerry in 8888.

The Circle Maker - Demo by Sparkbird

Firstly can I just say how nerve-wracking it was to add a Sparkbird song to this playlist? They make tiktoks about fandom related playlists their music is on. I'm trying to overcome my anxiety, but that'd be too much for me. As far as I know it's not on there.

"You are out of time You are out of favor You are but a cipher You are the circle maker"

Emphasis on the "you are out of time / you are out of favor". While he once might've had a place within the Foundation, he's totally squandered that. Also, I don't think anyone knows what the fuck his problem is. Hishakaku doesn't even know what his problem is, he represses so much shit and refuses to address behaviors of his that are shitty.

"How strange to grow so old And to never grow up And to never grow tall And to never grow wise And to never grow anything But smaller and farther away"

Like I think I say later in this post (I'm not writing it in all one sitting), I think that as director, Hishakaku is given life extending treatment, such as SCP-006. I think he's terrified of growing old-- and while he is, technically, aging, he's not changing or bettering himself. If anything, he could very well be getting worse.

Brand New City by Mitski

Hishakaku sees aging, and the fact that he will die, is something absolutely terrifying. This guy would love to be put in some kind of robot body, I think. Not just because he wouldn't die, but because he wouldn't age, too. Hishakaku came off as pretty vain to me, with him getting mad at Sokolsky for insulting his clothes, as well as STRAIGHT UP HISSING AT SOMEONE for making a joke about him not being fit. He will never be okay with aging or with growing older or weaker especially if he thinks that he hasn't "done enough".

Also, the line "I think my blood is passing me by" makes me think of his family, some nagging fear he has that he's failing them in some way.

Money, Money, Money by ABBA

This is a playlist about someone who cares about their wealth. I was contractually obligated to add Money Money Money. AND the song is a bop. Sure, it doesn't 100% fit but it slays so that's what matters.

However I don't think anyone, no matter HOW badly they needed the money, would either be able to get close enough for Hishakaku for him to give them money, or would be able to stand his bitchass for that long.

Also, Hishakaku 100% sees the world as "a rich man's world". Take that however you'd like.

Take Me To War (Live) by The Crane Wives

I can't 100% explain why this song makes me think of him so much-- I think it's because of how determined and ruthless I think he is. It doesn't matter what or who is in the way, if it's unsurmountable or not, he's gonna put up a fight until the very, very end.

Something I found interesting rereading 8ball for this is the fact that in the puzzle where they have to assign archetypes to people, Hishakaku was given the role of outlaw (or rebel, they were used interchangably when I read this.) Which, yeah he's elbow deep in crime, but outside of that I think he fits that archetype well. He's combative and driven, and desperately wants to shake up the status quo just so he can be the one who said he did.

Eat Your Young by Hozier

"Get some Pull up the ladder when the flood comes Throw enough rope until the legs have swung Seven new ways that you can eat your young Come and get some Skinnin' the children for a war drum Puttin' food on the table, sellin' bombs and guns It's quicker and easier to eat your young"

There's a nonzero chance that Hishakaku's been doing sketchy shit, even outside of what we learn in 8888. You don't become director with a clean record. Sure, he might not have been punished for these things, but what about things the Foundation condoned because, while unethical, they were in their interests? Fuck ethics, Hishakaku's going to do what's most convenient for him in the short term, with little concern for the long term or how he could hurt those around him.

Locals (Girls like us) by underscores, gabby start

Idk it's just the vibes. This song is cunty as hell and I think Hishakaku deserves one (1) cunty song. As a treat. The editing, and the fact that the song starts with what almost feels like a bunch of corporate buzzwords is part of why I associate this with him. That, and the singer's desire for conformity "I've done this questionnaire like 700 times / to get the same result as my friends" is something I think Hishakaku buys into. He wants to be special, but not a pariah.

How We’re Gonna Die by North Bloom

"But I cant take everything so seriously These days I'm just hoping to forget Move on and repress"

Hishakaku wants absolutely nothing to do with reflection and introspection, or his own emotions. Something I feel like he may value in computers/machines over humans is their unwavering logic. They don't get caught up in their emotions like humans do. He insists he's like machines, ruled by logic, but he's really not.

"Tell me how does it feel to know you were Bred to be a tool"

I headcanon that his family-- the Hishakaku's-- were a long line of mid-ranking Foundation personnel, always trying to get more influence within the Foundation. He was raised to be the very best, to move up the ranks more and more to make his family proud. I don’t think his parents really gave that much of a shit about him? Emotionally, at least. He grew up pretty rich, and they weren’t outwardly cruel, but they cared more about his future success and grades (to the point of being helicopter-y) than his emotions. I also think that if he had any conflict with someone and went to his parents for advice, they’d say “oh, they’re in the wrong. You’re smarter than them.” Or something along those lines. It’s an attitude he’s carried with him whether he realizes it or not.

Evelyn by Kim Tillman, Silent Films

“I'm a machine without a switch”

I see Hishakaku as a person who can't get himself to let go of things. He wants his cake and to eat it too. He's fully dedicated himself to what he wants, what he feels like he deserves/is entitled to. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior.

"These lofty thoughts are killing me Preoccupied by what I could be I get so high on my ideals Don't call me down But you can meet me where I land"

Hishakaku, to me, is someone who is constantly driven by desire. He wants to be high ranking, he wants power, he wants to be the very best. However, when he finally gets to where he's "meant" to be, he feels hollow. So, he's stuck thinking about what he "could" be.

ハロービルダー by Utsu-P, Hastune Miku

Here is the link to the lyrics!

Hishakaku is a technofetishistic guy, and I could easily see him obsessing over something technological like the singer. The song also fucks crazy hard.

The Spider’s Face (Dr. Stockill) by Emilie Autumn

Shoutout to @dino--draws for recommending this song! And also for enabling me. It makes me think mostly of Hishakaku in SCP-6488, when he's cast his web over the entire world. He's effectively destroyed AI, and even had the O5 under his thumb for a bit. He was able to make the OCI, and put his enemies in jars for christsake. This is him at the apex of his power, basking in the influence and control he has over others-- maybe even relishing in the suffering he can cause to them.

There's also spider imagery in this. I like to think that the reason LOTUS is a spider in the final bit of 6488 is because Hishakaku really likes spiders. He thinks they're kind of neat but would never tell a soul that because it's not normal to like spiders.

EVERYTHING by LuLuYam

"I want a life that'll give me purpose Fans, and lovers start to surface Be so big, that I own the circus All you clowns are at my service I want a life that's filled with green Leaf and money if you know what I mean White on my nose, blood on my sleeves Who needs friends, with dreams like these?"

I might not even have to pick these lyrics apart-- this is just what Hishakaku wants. He's burnt his bridges with people for his own image and ambition (Hell, he cheated at POOL with Kain Pathos Crow just to save his pride). In this, the Foundation is the circus. I've always interpreted him saying he "oversees" the site in 8ball (or whatever he says) as a Freudian slip-- he wants to be an overseer. He wants that power. That influence. He wants a life where he doesn't fell like he has to be more and more and more.

"A king, a lord, an emperor, a God A ruler over all My ego will not fall A fake, a fraud, a phony, oh my GOD! Don't crack through my facade… DON'T CRACK THROUGH MY FACADE!"

This guy sucks :3! I think that he's so focused on coming off the way he wants to that he's kind of lost himself in it. If you cracked through his facade you'd find a hollow mess and all the issues he insists he doesn't have.

Cockroach King by Haken

This song is basically about how Hishakaku is a capitalist/crypto bro and sucks a lot, but also how he's a fool for ignoring all aspects of his life outside of what he serves to gain from hurting people and believing he'll find any peace in financial success or bureaucracy.

All Eyes On Me (The Outtakes Version) by Bo Burnham

The repetition of "all eyes on me" again and again is what sells this as a Hishakaku song for me. The echo-ing vocals and the chaos of it also makes me feel like it's a fit-- I feel like Hishakaku has a lot of internal conflict that he doesn't address and just hopes will go away.

Whatever Makes You Feel Superior by Toehider

"Look at your friend's faces Don't it look like they're not having any fun? It becomes less about your theory And more about the feeling that you've won But whatever makes you feel Whatever makes you feel Whatever makes you feel superior"

Hishakaku wants to be superior to people because if he's above them then that means that he can't be vulnerable, nor would he be expected to be friendly or dedicate time to them. The most inaccurate part of this song is that it implies Hishakaku has friends-- he doesn't. He has subordinates, coworkers, bosses, and co-conspiritors.

In Cold Blood by alt-j

This is another one of those songs where I feel like the VIBES are what make it a Hishakaku song, not necessarily the lyrics. It feels like it'd be the theme song of some silicon valley murder mystery/conspiracy tv show. That fits Hishakaku perfectly. And if there's anyone who would do something in cold blood, it'd be him. The 01110011's also connect to Hishakaku's work with computers and technofetishism

King of Fools by Twain

"Ferdinand, a human-devil walking among men Filled up with the greedy lust to own up all the land He cut their bellies open thinking they had swallowed jewels When he watched the blood flow onto the naked ground Do you think he knew? He was the king of fools"

In all of this, Hishakaku is the king of fools. He wants and wants and hurts people without caring how he hurts them, then when they blow up in his face he either indignantly fights that he's in the right, or he acts as if he didn't know that anything would happen. For example: How I headcanon he got Site-15.

After Placeholder was abstracted, he changed quite a bit (check Dino--draws' blog for fir headcanons about how abstraction physically changed Placeholder.) I think Hishakaku was one of the first to catch onto the changes-- namely, the brain fog/freezing up-- by pure chance. Right place, right time. He started running "experiments" and being courteous to Place in an attempt to manipulate him into stepping down. Had Place not been recently abstracted, he would've caught on quickly. He's not sure if it was because of his suggestions or Place's genuine decision, but Place ends up stepping down and recommending Hishakaku for the position as director of site-15.

Almost immediately, Hishakaku switches up on Place and begins to lord his "victory" over the other man's head, especially when Place begins to study pataphysics, which Hishakaku sees as a quack science.

It takes some time, but Place realizes what type of person Hishakaku really is, and grows to loathe him. Not just because he tricked him into all but giving him the site, but because he pretended to be his friend in a time where he was at his most vulnerable.

Who Are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko

"So you feel entitled to a sense of control And make decisions that you think are your own You are a stranger here, why have you come? Why have you come? Lift me higher, let me look at the sun Look at the sun, and once I hear them clearly, say Who, who are you really? And where are you going? I've got nothing left to prove 'Cause I've got nothing left to lose See me bare my teeth for you Who, who are you?"

Hishakaku's been raised to be a director. He has no hobbies outside of crypto and computers. He grew up knowing exactly what he would be, and that is his ambition, purpose, identity. I firmly believe that if you asked Hishakaku to describe himself without mentioning his job, family, or status, he'd blank and stammer out that that question is ridiculous. This is part of why I think Hishakaku's dislike of Place is mutual-- Place thinks he's a puffed up crypto twit ruining his site, and Hishakaku is confused and jealous over the fact that Place stepped away from his position as director to go study nonsense in the woods, and he seems happier than ever. Hishakaku, deep down, feels hollow. He refuses to acknowledge that, but he is. And seeing Place so fulfilled, so sure of himself despite his abstraction, enrages him.

Iscariot by WALK THE MOON

Hishakaku always gets what's coming to him. Personally, I think he at least has some idea that he might not be able to weasel his way out of consequences-- but that common sense is discarded in favor of the arrogant belief that he'll be free from consequence forever.

This song could also be seen as potential feelings of betrayal from Cimmerian, since Cimmerian promised to keep his involvement with the Wanderer's Circle under wraps in exchange for helping him steal the 8ball. Even if he didn't have a personal relationship with Cimmerian, he'd still be pissed about the betrayal.

The Bottom (You Fucking Fucker) by The Taxpayers

Hishakaku could very well be the "you" in this song.

"You fuck. I fucking blame you, you fucker, you fuck I fucking know the reason you came Your name, your place, your time will come When the bottom drops out, when the bottom drops out And even though, even though you’ll get away with it Even though, even though people like you don’t do time I know someday your little black heart will pop Someday you’re gonna die, you're gonna die, you're gonna die

Things can always get worse Things can always get so much worse Things can always get worse Things can always get so much worse When the bottom drops out"

"Even though, even though people like you don't do time" This is more accurate in regards to SCP-8888, where, instead of being imprisoned for betraying the Foundation (AND LEADING TO THE THEFT OF THE 8BALL), his suggested punishments are being sent to watch the fish that goes on forever, or being sent to work at the Planet Fitness Foundation front in Jupiter, Florida. Researching Jupiter (I'm poking at an outline about his time there), it seems like a pretty nice place. Sure, he doesn't have his power, influence, or money, but it feels like such a nothing punishment compared to his actions.

"Someday you're gonna die, you're gonna die, you're gonna die". Due to the sensitive nature of what is kept at Site-15, I like to imagine Hishakaku receives life-extending treatment, like SCP-006. Once he no longer has access to that, though, he's stuck with having to confront his mortality. He'd taken 006 for granted, honestly. Now he's lost.

"Things can always get so much worse / when the bottom drops out" This is what Hishakaku's dealing with-- the bottom dropping out. Sure, he's not in prison, but he's been stripped of everything he's ever tied his identity to and in a super unfamiliar environment dealing with things he's never dealt with (assuming he is sent to Jupiter, which I think is the funnier and more painful option for him)

In conclusion, Hishakaku is an interesting guy that sucks a lot <3.

If you have any questions or want to give me a suggestion to add to the playlist, plz send an ask or message me I love this guy

[ashen-char]

I just saw Anora a few days ago and I have a some things to say.

Igor is the goat, especially in the candy shop scene and his interactions with Anora. (Ani’s cute but Anora is a beautiful name)

Part of me wishes that Anora slapped Ivan. The closest to that happening is in an Ani x Igor fic I read.

My little headcanon is that Ivan and his family get cursed for all eternity.

And I saw some people calling Anora a gold digger and they have to be brain dead to think that. It’s more than her wanting money and the wealthy lifestyle.

i also love igor in the candy shop like the way he casually grabs the bat, smashed the jar so effortlessly hahah. the way he plays with with it and throws it off the pier too! literally so funny. notable mention to how impressed he looks at ani's hits too.

spoilers under the cut i guess?

i also think ivan deserves a good slap, probably when ani finds him in that private room with diamond or something 🤔 but it means a lot too that even when she's signing the annulment form, she looks at ivan like "really? you won't fight for me? fuck, okay then." she begs a passed out ivan for assurance that his parents will accept them. she doesn't even get angry at him for going to HQ, for agreeing to be in a private with diamond. it's such a big part part of anora that she hopes, she's not naive but she still hopes and dreams. (i saw a take a while ago that she's naive for believing in him, which boooo 🍅) please link me the fic you read tho!

as for ani being a gold digger, ivan literally goes "i think we'd have fun even if i didn't have money". ani never asks him to spend money on her, besides her asking for a 3 carat ring. all of ivan's splurges are for him and chasing fun, he'll go all in at the casino and not care about losing it. if she's a gold digger, it wouldn't make sense for her to throw that sable coat down and leave it behind.

she does flaunt the money to others at times, be that lulu or to igor when he asks about the coat. but when she was flaunting the coat or the ring to garnik/toros, she was more showing off the "commitment" ivan showed to her. like she belongs in this world and they don't - "i bet you've never seen that before". and to lulu, i mean it's the first few times they met. obviously she's on that high that a high roller likes her and wants to keep seeing her, more bragging and gossiping.

there's even a scene where she tells ivan she'll miss him, he jokes that she'll miss his money, and she playfully agrees. at that point, ani's downplaying how she feels because she thinks he'll go. otherwise her "stop teasing me" wouldn't make sense, it implies she does want him to stay for burgeoning feelings.

the money's fun, and the drugs are a rush sure, but if we think about the times they connect and talk (rare as that might be), it's because of the fun that ivan is and represents. his energy, his jokes, how he doesn't take anything seriously. if anything, it's more commentary that wealth provides this lack of worry, and that's what ani would want over the material things.

[darkscaleswriter]

palinoia for the director's cut asks? 👀

(ask for a director’s cut on any of my fics!)

omg I haven't re-read Palinoia in years, when I opened my doc for it I got slapped in the face by times new roman bc this is from before i switched to writing in calibri instead lmfao. anyway time loop fic!! i had a lot of fun experimenting with style in this one, trying to capture the low-grade horror of being trapped in time and dying again and again and again. not sure i totally succeeded, but i liked writing it at least!! i'm especially proud of the bit that's a series of vignettes that descend into repeated "reset, reset, reset" lines, i think that part really conveyed what i wanted it to. it's still satisfying to read again after 6-ish years :D

(continued under the cut)

shadow link is so fun to write, he's a classic antagonist turned antihero type character and i love it. i also have a huge soft spot for him bc loz four swords was one of my first fandoms and is probably my oldest one at this point, so he's an og blorbo for me haha. (clenches fist) someday I will treat myself and get physical copies of the manga. someday…

at any rate, i'm re-reading palinoia and kind of laughing at myself about how the key to shadow breaking out of the timeloop was just. teamwork makes the dream work, lol. including using items from past Heroes bc i like the idea of items from previous games still hanging around odd corners of hyrule. i don't think i planned it that way but it's extremely in line with the themes i tend to write ^.^'

and zelda gets to join in! past me even left a helpful note on the doc explaining that zelda gets to be there bc instead of sending that dark cloud thing to take her like in the manga, ganon got distracted by vaati being vacuumed and wasn't able to stop the links from breaking her out. i am also now realizing that i never explained what happened to vaati beyond "vacuumed into a giant gust jar" and if i had plans for that, I didn't write them down. so… i guess he just lives there, now? maybe the links go back and smash the mirror after shadow's fully revived as his own being without being tied to it? maybe the jar was sealed away to become the next hero of courage's problem??

if I was going to rewrite this fic, i think it would be interesting to add a section where shadow gets desperate and tries to recruit vaati. maybe there would be 2 villain turned antihero characters surviving to the end…? or vaati is too power-hungry to go for it and betrays shadow at the last second, if he doesn't refuse and/or kill shadow outright for being a traitor. i think the last minute betrayal version would be a good loop to lead into a deleted scene where shadow straight up just hides in the dark mirror for a loop and refuses to engage, up until the links make it to the tower and are like "hey tf is this giant mirror and should we break it or something"

that deleted scene never got finished, i'm guessing bc it was leading up to shadow letting the links smash the mirror without ever revealing that he was inside (rip). based when where i was in life when i wrote this fic, i probably wasn't in a headspace to get quite that dark. i think there's a difference between considering your death an acceptable sacrifice in a fight to prevent a supervillain from taking over the kingdom and not caring about your death happening bc depression, y'know?

there's another deleted scene where shadow has a much more dramatic death that involves him fighting vaati in single combat himself, and ending the fight by chucking a bomb at the dark mirror to kill them both. i think that was vaguely what the final loop was supposed to be before the gust jar idea, and there was a whole bit with vio where vio is extra upset as shadow is dying in his arms bc shadow promised earlier not to kill vaati via the mirror. whoops, he lied! he went after vaati on purpose and planned that from the start! what a normal and mentally stable thing to do, shadow.

that ending was cut more because it ended up too close to canon, i'm pretty sure, and i wanted the final loop to be something more unique. shadow needed to do something different than his original ending to break out of the loop, so the full canon divergence had to happen.

shadow still died very briefly at the end of the final loop, when zelda had him throw a bomb full of triforce light at ganon, but at that point the goddesses were like "okay we'll call that having learned your lesson" and brought him back quickly enough that nobody realized he was gone. potentially including himself! i'm not sure that shadow ever consciously realized it was the goddesses farore, nayru, and din that put him in the time loop, but after it ended, he was just glad to be done with it and decided not to ask too many questions that could potentially make them change their minds haha.

re: the goddesses, i think the reason they took an interest in shadow to begin with (self-sacrificial death for the four sword heroes aside) is because shadow was created using the power of the triforce. he's one of theirs, sort of, at a sideways angle to how link and zelda and ganon are. close enough for them to meddle with, and idk maybe din was being extra salty at this incarnation of ganon for creating an entire sentient person and then treating him Like That. rip ganon for annoying his triforce piece's patron goddess, lol.

shadow was created from the dark mirror using the triforce of power as wielded by ganon, and my general headcanon is that shadow link literally did not exist until the events of the four swords manga when he is born from the dark mirror. he doesn't have link's memories, but he knows link's personality and remembers feelings/impressions/etc. and, since shadow was created with the triforce of power, he carries of sliver of it with him in a similar way to how each of the links carries pieces of the triforce of courage. part of the reason he's drawn to the links is because like calls to like. shadow was made in part from the triforce of power, but in the image of the bearer of the triforce of courage. the only part he's missing is wisdom, but at the end of his final loop, he does get caught in the blast of zelda's triforce power bomb, so… :3c

at the end of the fic, when shadow notes that he has the triforce on his hand, i left it deliberately vague about whether that was actually the full triforce or not. i don't remember if i had a clear answer in my head for this, but i suspect he shares pieces with the other links and zelda, bc i like the idea of them being all connected like that. regardless, what triforce piece(s) he has are what allowed him to sever his connection to the dark mirror and hang out in the sunlight without burning up like a vampire. he takes a lot of catnaps in sunbeams now that he doesn't have to worry about that haha.

anyway thank you so much for asking about Palinoia, it was really fun to go back and remember how much i enjoyed writing it. and i'm SUPER flattered that you read my fic to begin with!! i am so in love with your god of war time travel au, it lives rent-free in my head at any given moment.

thank you again!!! :D

[catnykit]

🄸🄽🅃🅁🄾🄿🄾🅂🅃

♖☯ 𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠🥀🕳

Hi!!! Cat here :3 I spawned here and im figuring stuff out. Like i dont know what im doing this might be in constant change.

Info about me is in the desc!! I didnt think I would need a intropost but well,Here we are!

some things you might want to know about the blog are:

I constantly join ask games and then completly forget so if youre gonna ask based on an ask game aslo link the ask game pls ♡

I dont exacly have a dni,Just interact with me and we'll see!

I LOVE being tagged or getting asks so if you think anything is from my interest,Or anything that reminded you of me or my ocs,Dont hesitate (Or do hesitate to check for the things i avoid below this first I guess)

(IMPORTANT NOTE: I AM EXTREMELY SENSITIVE OF ANY KIND OF IRL DRAMA. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT IT IS IT'LL LIKELY UPSET ME. THIS BLOG EXISTS FOR ESCAPISM. TAKE THIS IN MIND.)(maybe releted to whats below 👇)

This blog is a safe place to ignore reality for a bit or atleast I try to make it as fictional as possible,I'll always tag "#Reality tw" whenever I consider something is on thin ice but I feel the need to reblog it.

So,Welcome to this strange realm! Here we have cat biology and Angsty whump writing!

(Aka:Beware because there is a lot of fictional yet fucked up untagged work)(aslo just ask me about cat biology i can't find thigs to reblog ᴖ̈)

Thats basically it,In fact,This blog was supposed to be a whump blog is just that I repost all kinds of stuff,Even my fandoms sometimes!!! And more! You can even find my random thoughts under #Cat says stuff

Im a writter for fun but I aslo like my tiny witty piece of recognition,So if you like one of my stories,

I BEG YOU,COMMENT ABOUT IT I normally dont have the energy to actually write down my stories,So if you want to see more make sure of atleast leave a keyboard smash for support♡

And finally, Here's my own self indulgent fucked up writing! :D (Slow,random updates♡)

🫀▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🐈‍⬛█ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▂ ▁ 🫁

Writing (mostly whump)ideas:

Whump idea#0 whumpee's by control (old)

whump idea #1【woods+maggots+insanity? Not a good deal.】

Whump idea#2 【THE TORTURE JAR+NONHUMAN GIANT WHUMPER & CARETAKER】

The Original Stories

(Fun Fact about my masterlists: i put the tag of stuff on the title of that stuff)

🅃🄷🄴 🄲🅄🅁🅂🄴 🄾🄵 🄽🄾🅆🄷🄴🅁🄴: MAIN TW: IMPLIED MURDER,PSYCHOLOGICAL WHUMP Deidamia rotari, Better known as The Nowhere Killer, Passes throught all sorts of horrors in this one-shot collection series that the author will upload randomly and if it makes sense or not is independent. it is NOT a chronological series, and it is episodic. (It will be numbered anyway to avoid confusion)

More stories may spawn! you can find both ocs and writing misc at #My ocs

....

(....or despawn.)

🅵🅾🅻🅻🅾🆆🅸🅽🅶 🅵🅻🅾🅰🆃🅸🅽🅶 🆂🆃🅴🅿🆂(CANCELLED) : MAIN TW: IMPLIED MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

The idea is to see the world in the eyes of a ghost. I dont know if I can put this idea on paper properly,Time will say weird ass hiatus cuz im planning to MAYBE remake this. who knows (not me). meanwhile it is cancelled

FRAGMENT 1: A POOR DEVIL (MAIN TW: SUICIDAL THEMES,OLD AND IN NEED OF REMAKE)

🫀▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 🐈‍⬛█ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▂ ▁ 🫁

My favorite writing tropes are (In order): EMOTIONAL/PSYCHOLOGICAL WHUMP. WHUMPER(S) BEING HURT,AKA DYNAMIC/REVERSING ROLES. SELF HARM WHUMP/SUICIDE. CHEERFULL/SADISTIC WHUMPER. LAB WHUMP/MEDICAL WHUMP. STOIC/NONLACHANT WHUMPEE. PET WHUMP/CONDITIONED WHUMPEE. COSMIC WHUMP. WHUMPER TURNED CARETAKER(again,dynamic roles.) SPECIFIC WHUMP THINGS I LIKE: suffocation n variarions Fainting Human whumpee × Nonhuman caretaker DETAILED GORE/VIVISECTION N STUFF(ironic cuz my love is between extreme gore and extreme trauma in a constant tug-of-war ♡) My squicks are: editing this, Anything that's frustrating, such as when the characters are given false hope, when a situation is explicitly unfair or helpeless ...and that's it! im still findind out.

things that actually disgusts me and that i seek to avoid: I am starting to belive im D*ck repulsed. or suggestively explicit? idk

♖☯ 𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 𓃬𓃠 🥀🕳

[scribbling-dragon]

Watcher’s Nest Café Masterpost

COMPLETE!

(ao3 link)

“I want you to know that I hate everything about this.”

Scott hums into his drink, sipping at it before throwing the whole thing back like it’s a shot. The bitter taste is enough to wake him up at least a little more. “You're here on time, at least.”

Jimmy’s staring at him when he looks up, apron held in his hands as he squints. Scott stares back at him. “How much espresso was in that?” He asks. Scott doesn't actually know, he measured it more with his heart than his eyes.

*

Or: I’ve finally cracked and written a coffee shop au.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

The man came back.

The man walks into the café the next morning, smiling cheerily as the bell twinkles merrily above the door, announcing his arrival. He is far too happy for a man whose stolen fiver is still sitting in the tip jar.

Chapter 3

“Aren't you cheerful this morning,” Jimmy slips the tablet from his  hands then promptly almost drops and smashes it. It would be funny if it  hadn't made Scott feel a little bit sick as he thought about explaining  how that happened. “Rough night?”

He hums. “Something like that.”

Chapter 4

“Morning sunshine!”

“Martyn,” he turns to face the man. The man that has, unfortunately, become a fixture at the café over the past few weeks. He’s even taken up residence along the front bar when Scott is working. Which is always. Martyn’s greeting catches up with him a moment later, brain lagging several seconds behind their conversation. “Sunshine?”

Chapter 5

It’s a slightly warmer day than the past few days have been. Which isn't actually that much of an achievement, but it’s something, and so Scott is taking a moment to enjoy the sunny weather. Even if he steps outside and it would still threaten to freeze his scales off, the slightly warmer weather is enough to put him in a mostly good mood.

“Thank you,” he smiles at the customer, handing their drink over to them. The cardboard of the take-away cup is warm beneath his hand, even through the leather of his gloves. The customer glances at him, taking their drink with a squeaked out “thank you” before darting away to join their friends.

Chapter 6

“It’s open,” he calls, just loud enough to be heard.

He waits, and then a moment later the door creaks open, the sound of feet shuffling over carpet reaching his ears. “Take your shoes off.”

“What if I’d been a murderer?”

Chapter 7

“I don't know,” Tango stands by the door, both drinks in hand as he waits for Jimmy to finish his conversation. He smiles at Scott when he catches his eye before looking away again, watching the people outside, on the street. “Maybe you will! How am I meant to know? I don't think you even know what you're gonna do half the time.”

“I’ll be there,” Scott settles a hand over the back of Jimmy’s hand, patting it a few times before pulling back again. When he looks up, Jimmy is regarding him with suspicion.

“I know where you live.”

“I am well aware.” He smiles at Jimmy’s frown deepening, bordering on the edge of a scowl.

“I have nothing against dragging you, kicking and screaming, out of your apartment.”

Chapter 8

The café was quiet.

The customers inside were sitting contentedly at their own tables, each lost in their own worlds as they spoke quietly amongst each other. He didn't know what he expected, really, from a café that relied on the local student populace. And with several final deadlines yesterday, there wouldn't have been many people willing to get up this early, let alone make the trek to the café with the miserable weather outside

Scott wishes that a few more people would come in, only so that he might have something to do.

[viewedooc]

saw a comment on a youtube video about how the time aspect wore dave down and a DIFFERENT comment on a DIFFERENT song about how hes giving up time travel good (which i did not read before having him give it up i swear. i feel vindicated) and someone linked the page / read through that a little

so supposedly the beta session lasted a day but dave played at least three days going through time loops, and thats just the alpha dave, not counting all the ones that died or were doomed

i think it works as a parallel for his anxiety and tendency to overthink, probably leaning into some obsessive compulsive issues

like i think that's how his brain worked. he's able to throw out paragraphs of rambling because the spigot from which his stream of conscious flows is smashed permanently open so he's always in his head, distracted, thinking of things to say and possibilities and fears and doubts. running through it in his mind trying to give himself the best chance at success to overcompensate for his deep, deep, deep insecurity it's not the dead part of the dave that scares him. he's used to dead things (in jars) it's the failed part.

(someone remind me to talk about the parallels between his time aspect and interest in wet specimens later)

having to weigh all those decisions and outcomes and decide which ones were more favorable really took a toll on him. like letting jade shoot him (he wasnt afraid of his death he was afraid of jade being hurt)(having to leave his sister behind alone in a doomed timeline to save her in another.)

it's too much knowledge and executive power. the human brain is not built to experience life that way (which is why caliborn makes such a potent lord of time - his brain IS wired to work that way - vicious and cyclical)(whereas for aradia it was like a second chance that was genuinely hers and not taken from her or controlled by a weird horny freak)

i think the moment he gives it up is the moment he realizes he can do more for everyone just being present in the moment. both in terms of time and his maladaptive daydreaming. or his internal panicked searches for the Correct thing to say which is also Very Cool and Funny (which he'll never fully give up but he can learn to say something beautiful and true or even cringy and silly once in a while)

i think it also contributes to his deep unabiding love for his brother because he knows dirk is weighing all the options too. he knows none of them seem great or possible. he knows they're gods who are going to live to see black holes die. he knows that on the graph of the timeline between the birth of the universe and the death of the final black hole, he hasn't moved a nanometer. theyre not even babies theyre zygotes.

the cruxite egg was such a good metaphor because itll hatch when its ready. it takes time. let it do what it does.

davebot experiences all points in time simultaneously so where we would see a moment, followed by a moment, followed by another moment, it's like he has the whole picture in his head from start to finish and enough quiet time to ponder it all and he's cheerfully nihilistic. assigning "good" and "bad" to any moment is pointless because you stretch out the whole tapestry and it's beautiful. you can't just cut out the upsetting parts. find beauty in the threads and the hands that wove them

[howlingday]

My idea for a potential DEATH BATTLE! #9

2023, Dec 3-6

2024 Mar 25, apr 18, jun 22

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MASTER LIST

Steve vs Emmet Brickowski (Minecraft vs The LEGO Movie)

Who's imagination will let them survive this crafty battle?

THUMBNAIL

FIGHTER 1: Steve, Minecraft's cubic builder, explorer, and slayer of monsters and dragons

FIGHTER 2: Emmet Brickowsky, LEGO's Special Master Builder from Bricksburg.

Wiz: Imagination is extremely powerful; it allows us to bring our dreams into reality, letting us create or destroy whatever we can dream of.

*insert clips of Bob the Builder, Oppenheimer, LEGO Ninjago’s Tornado of Creation, and RWBY's Relics of Creation and Destruction*

Boomstick: These two literal blockheads can create just about anything they can think of. Or destroy it. He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

PREFACE (What to know): 

1. This MU could become an actual episode as it garnered attention when it was part of 2022's Champion Poll, so I wanted to get this one out before that happens. The consensus, as far as I can tell, is that Steve vs. The Terrarian and Emmet vs Jesse are better MUs, but I really like this MU. It's ok if you don't, but don't be a jerk about it. (If I wanted to be pedantic about it, then I'd say that Omni Man vs. Homelander and Mario vs. Sonic were done because they are legacy MUs rather than for the connections that the combatants have, but I can very well be wrong).

2. To make this fight more fitting and fair, I will place Steve in the LEGO Movie world. It shouldn't be jarring as there is such a thing as LEGO Minecraft, and the block aesthetic of Minecraft melds well with the sharp, blocky look of the LEGO Movie. This will essentially put them in the same world. Crossovers such as Super Smash Bros. Ultimate and LEGO Dimensions will not be taken into consideration, but I will look to them for inspiration if desired. 

3. Emmet and Steve could build anything that we haven't seen in the movies, novels, etc. as long as it is within character.

4. No infinite strength Steve. When the player drops items in Minecraft, the items have fundamentally different properties to their block forms as compared to dropped items in Skyrim where they retain their physical properties, at least to some degree. They did the cheese calculation as a joke in Chosen Undead vs. Last Dragonborn and they didn't calculate how much weight Link would be carrying due to his iron boots and other heavy equipment in the 2021 rematch, so no inventory strength. (I would still expect a similar gag like the aforementioned cheese calculation).

5. No Creative Mode infinite materials. Steve will have to mine, forge, and enchant his stuff on his own, but he will start off with good materials like diamond and potions as well as some unbrewable potions and arrows.

WHY:

Connections (What do they have in common):

1. Both are capable of creating almost anything by taking resources from the world around and then craft anything from them. They effectively have no limit to their crafting capabilities.

2. Both are icons of IPs that represent creativity and imagination.

3. Maybe the enemy isn’t the Ender Dragon, President Business, or Rex Dangervest. Maybe the enemy is growing up.

Not many that I can think of, so if you can think of one, let me know. :)

Personal reasons (Why I want this battle/like this MU):

I like how Emmet was able to not just change, but grow in his movies. Steve may be silent, but he still expresses emotion through his body language. I want to see a wholesome battle where they both build because that's what they enjoy doing and then try to one up each other, giving way to animation that has the potential to be some of DB!'s all team greats.

THE FIGHT:

Art and animation: The fight is best in 3D. Hand-drawn would make this fight very difficult to work with and I don't think 2D pixels can express the weird and wonderful wackiness of what these two can build, the speed at which they can build, or the worlds they inhabit. The best way to go is to have Emmet move like he does in the LEGO Movies and Steve to move like he does in Minecraft and Smash Bros., but the animation would be like that of the LEGO Movies; it does not allow for all degrees of movement like human limbs, but it's still fluid and smooth. The world itself is just blocks, needless to say. I think a good guide to what the animation and art style should be like is this video which took its LEGO models from Mecabricks.

If you want to get really interesting, it would be stop motion, but that's just expecting a king’s feast on top of something already demanding in my opinion.

Possible setup: On the outskirts of Bricksburg, near a construction site, Emmet is checking the blueprints for a skyscraper he is about to build. 

"I'm going to need these many pieces of these measurements and color..." Hearing the iconic Minecraft sounds of mining ground and building, he turns to see a house that was just suddenly there.

"Whoa, where did that come from?" Steve exits his house, and Emmet confronts him. 

"Sir, did you build that house?" and Steve nods.

Emmet, the loveable goof that he is, does the Chris Pratt gasp and gushes over Steve's abilities. "Are you a Master Builder?" It would explain how the house was just there after some noise, but Steve scratches his head, and lifts his arms in an “I don’t know” pose. "Could you build it again?" Steve nods and builds another house, more impressive than the last, using wood, stone, and concrete from the construction site (imagine him building it at the speed of one of his Smash Bros. victory poses)

“Wow! I can do that, too!” Emmet then decides to build something of his own, using more materials from the construction site, building a house comparable to Steve’s who then looks at Emmet's creation and decides to build a mansion.

“Not bad, huh?” Steve nods, and takes out his sword. “Whoa! You’re a warrior AND a builder? Then let’s take this up a notch! Let’s fight and build something amazing!” Steve nods and Emmet jumps up and slams down, destroying the buildings and sending pieces around him flying.

FIGHT! :

1. Emmet then zips around, building himself a weapon like he did here. Steve slashes and is able to guard himself for a little while. Emmet keeps up his offense and knocks Steve away. Steve drinks a Potion of Strength, and is able to fend off Emmet’s strikes. Yet, Emmet is too fast and is able to hit Steve before Steve can hit back. Steve simply drinks a Potion of Swiftness, and it works! Emmet swoops in for a strike, but Steve swiftly dodges, getting behind Emmet, and strikes him using his Forward Smash:

This sends Emmet flying to the other side of the giant construction site. Steve then breaks out an enchanting table, a crafting table, and a brewing stand, and starts to furiously gather materials from around him and gets to work. Meanwhile, Emmet groans in pain, and then takes a giant leap towards Steve. Steve notices Emmet and aims a giant wall of dispensers at him and activates them, causing the dispensers to fire flaming arrows (a GIANT version of what is seen in this video). Emmet shouts a big “Whoa!” as he dodges the arrows. Emmet then uses his Master Breaker abilities to break Steve’s dispenser wall, similar to what he did here. 

2. Emmet is then hit by something, and is taken aback. Nothing is there. Then, he’s continuously hit by said nothing, it seems! Emmet tries to hit back, but he hits nothing, as expected. Steve suddenly appears at a distance as his Potion of Invisibility wears off. Steve is wearing his Diamond Armor, and he starts to throw Splash Potions. Emmet easily dodges them and grabs one of the following pieces:

Emmet then proceeds to juggle the Splash Potions and knocks some towards Steve, who gets hit with some Potions of Poison, Harming, and Decay. It appears that using the Potions in the dispenser wall was the better idea. As Steve is suffering, Emmet then starts to build a mech similar to his Construct-o-Mech and Steve uses a Potion of Regeneration and Healing. Steve had placed a myriad of TNT blocks all connected via Redstone, so when Emmet approaches Steve in his mech, he is immobilized and struggles. Steve steps on the button to activate the redstone. The TNT detonates and Emmet, being nearby, falls in his mech, and he lets out his iconic scream. However, right before Steve can move and prepare more weapons and potions, he hears something right behind him that has haunted all Minecraft players. We see that there were several Creepers right behind him, and they detonate.

3. Due to the TNT explosion and the Creepers, there is a giant hole in the ground and they both were falling. Emmet rebuilds his mech into a plane and flies away. Steve uses his fishing rod to tether himself to the plane, swings like the Green stick figure in Alan Becker‘s Minecraft videos to launch himself upwards, and unfurls his Elytra, and attaches a Firework Rocket on it, propelling him upward (Think his Up - B from SSBU.), but there is simply too much debris, so they both get crushed and fall.

4. Now in free fall, Steve uses his bow and fires arrows, both of the tipped and not tipped variety, sniping Emmet well in his arms. In retaliation, Emmet grunts and throws a boulder at Steve, who uses a shield to ward off the attack. Looking down, there’s a rail, so Steve simply takes a minecart out of his inventory and Emmet builds himself a vehicle out of his mech’s remains (whether it’s a hoverboard or a land-roving vehicle is up to you). Both land safely and the vehicles roll. Steve takes out a diamond sword and his shield, and Emmet fashions himself another weapon, so they start to clash again, like in Alan Becker’s Ultimate Minecart Race. Because Emmet is still affected by the Arrow of Slowness, Steve is able to get some solid hits in and block Emmet’s strikes in time. Emmet then uses his Master Breaker powers again to break the shield, and Steve is knocked forward a bit. Steve then fires more tipped arrows, but Emmet is able to dodge them and they clash weapons again, like this part from Alan Becker’s The Chef. Every sword strike is parried or blocked, and they keep at it until the ground suddenly drops beneath them and they fall again through a Nether Portal to… The Real World…?

5. The minifigures fall on the floor of the basement, and the kids that were playing with the plastic toys start arguing with each other about who is cheating and who is the winner. The adults then have to come down the basement and mediate the conflict. “Kids, I know it’s hard to play fair, but yelling and calling each other a cheater is not going to help. I thought you two were doing this because it’s fun. You’re using toys to create these great inventions and then you play with them. Putting others down will not do you any good. Right now, just have fun with each other. You’ll never know when you get to play with your friends and toys like you are now.” As we see the adults trying to resolve the conflict, Emmet picks himself up, and seeing Steve struggling, picks him up as well. The kids then apologize and compliment each other’s skills and imagination, and pick up the toys that were dropped. “Ready for one more showdown?”, asks Emmet. Steve nods and holds up his arm, and Emmet responds by giving a fist bump.

6. The kids put the toys back together and our fighters are back on the LEGO world. Emmet builds another mech, this one similar to his Triple Decker Couch mech, and Steve decks himself out with his best armor, weapon, and potions. “For now, let’s have fun.” They clash again, with Emmet’s mech and Steve’s armor and weapons being worn down, and the potion effects are diminishing. Now, it’s all or nothing.

7. Steve wins by immobilizing Emmet. He dodges and slashes at Emmet’s mech, and protects himself with his shield. He removes the limbs of the mech and destroys it, leaving cobwebs all around. When the mech is destroyed, Emmet is left helpless, and as he tries to exit, he’s immobilized by the cobwebs. “Can't… Move…!” With one final slash, Emmet dies like in the LEGO video games.

8. Emmet wins by using his Master Breaker abilities. Emmet knocks away Steve’s equipment, pins Steve down and then starts to severely damage the armor. Steve tries to detonate some TNT again, but Emmet jumps out of his mech, and comes down with one final, gigantic Master Breaker slam, destroying his mech and leaving Steve in pieces. This results in the iconic death screen.

9. In the real world, the kids simply take the pieces and start to build something new with the pieces until they are called up. “Kids, the food’s ready!” The kids run out of the basement. The last thing we see is the minifigures ready for one more fight, in armor and mech.

10. KO!

RESULT:

Strengths and weaknesses:

Steve:

+ Has the more destructive tool in TNT.

+ Greater defense with his armors and longevity with his Potions of Healing and Regeneration.

+ Enchantments and Potions of Strength improve all of his weapons, armor, tools, and stats.

+ Has ranged options in his bow, crossbow, firework rockets and arguably his fishing rod.

+ Can be considered stronger due to his fight against the Ender Dragon and his capacity to break down diamond blocks.

+ If given access to a Riptide Trident, then Steve has greater mobility and offense underwater, and a Potion of Water Breathing, allowing him to survive underwater for longer.

+ Can immobilize Emmet with cobwebs

= Under the rules set in the preface, both are similarly fast.

= Similar Risk of drowning.

- Blocks, potions and materials in inventory can be exhausted, armor and weapons can break.

- Takes time to craft, forge, and enchant whatever he’s making.

- Highly dependent on the environment to obtain good materials and ores.

Emmet Brickowsky:

+ More mobile and acrobatic.

+ Being a Master Breaker means not needing any other tools or materials to simply break stuff, so he can likely break Steve’s creations with little issue.

+ Does not need to use a forge or crafting table, and can build bigger creations with greater speed.

= Under the rules set in the preface, both are similarly fast.

= Similar risk of drowning

- Arguably less durable.

- Is vulnerable underwater without a vehicle

- Like Steve, he’s dependent on the materials provided to him by the environment, and can’t craft the pieces he needs

- Arguably his biggest weakness physically is immobilization, as seen when he was hit with the Kragle. It’s likely that the Cobwebs can be used to immobilize him. Other Master Builders have been immobilized by chewed up gum and even stickers.

Ending puns:

"In the end, Steve could only dig his own grave."

"Sorry, Emmet, but the only thing you can do is LEGO."

MUSIC:

Name: Build The Best

The name makes reference to how both the characters and series are known for letting people build whatever they want and let their creations come to life as well as Emmet’s title of “Master Builder”.

Art: At the front of the picture, we see Steve’s crafting table with some LEGO gears leaning against it and potions and the iconic red LEGO blocks around them. To the right of the crafting table is the enchanting table with Steve’s sword and Emmet’s wrench crossing each other. To the right of the crafting table is Steve’s armor holding the Piece of Resistance.

Sound: The song starts mellow, like Subwoofer Lullaby or Living Mice to give off a feeling of nostalgia and intimacy, and then slowly picks up in volume as the two blockheads show off their abilities before the fight. Then, there’s a record scratch and the music becomes upbeat and happy, like Everything is Awesome. The music changes to Pigstep but played with LEGO movie instruments during the minecart chase. When in the Real World and listening to the talk between the adult and kids, the music is more somber, again similar to Minecraft’s more mellow music or the music from the “You are The Special” scene from the first LEGO Movie. During the buildup to and during final confrontation, it switches to I Am A Master Builder. Our heroes are near the end, so now it’s the time to push further still. As the battle ends and we linger on the result, the instrumentation starts to play Subwoofer Lullaby or Living Mice again, and then the instrumentation from the beginning returns and the music fades out.

I want it to reflect how we start with LEGOs and Minecraft: with small bits and pieces, but then, the creations become bigger and more complex. More energy and thought is required into planning and building the structures desired. It’s like life: we start with childhood, simple and uncomplicated in the grand scheme of things, but as we get older, we take on more responsibilities, and we have to do more and more, leading us to reminisce on the “good old days” when we could build for ourselves, for fun. Maybe in the end, the real enemy, the true challenge, is growing up.

FINAL THOUGHTS AND WORDS:

I am sorry for releasing this so late. This semester was a total pain, and I rarely had time to create this. I had an extremely rough six months, and I don’t want to use it as a crutch, but it’s school, and it’s demanding.

There were also so many ideas I wanted to implement into this battle, like how a kid just wants to create the biggest setpieces because they’re just the coolest things in the world.

IDEAS THAT I HAD:

1. A getaway chase on redstone minecart and planes

2. Weapons, armor, potions and enchantments to match Emmet’s mechs.

3. Master Destroyer vs Steve’s creations, armor, and potions.

4. Falling into nether portal and fighting monsters in the Nether

5. Dive into the ocean, risk of drowning.

6. Creepers and TNT

7. Confrontation in the real world, conflict with the kids that are controlling Steve and Emmet.

8. Heartfelt message as is tradition with all The LEGO Movies.

9. Have some Easter Eggs that reference Tetris. Both Tetris and Minecraft are among the most sold video games of all time, and LEGO is the most influential toy in the world. These three form a sort of blocky trinity, and it feels incomplete to leave Tetris out of this.

THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!

NEXT TIME…!

In a conference in an inner city, we see a gigantic sign for a superhero conference, and under it it says “Brought to you by Vought Corporation”.

In a raceway we see two heroes, getting ready for a race. There is a crowd around them and in the stands, cheering on for both of them.

“May the better speedster win!” The younger of the two outstretches his right arm, with his helmet in his left underarm.

“Oh, I plan to.” The older of the two simply walks by his fellow speedster and gets into running position. The younger speedster is taken aback by the rudeness of his fellow hero. However, there is a race that is about to go underway. He puts on his helmet, and he gets into a racing position as well.

“Gentlemen! Start your engines!”

There is a gunshot, and the two heroes are off at sonic speeds.

Tenya Iida vs. A-Train (My Hero Academia vs. The Boys)

--------------------------------------------------

Very good! I like how the battle ends on a wholesome route, like Goku V. Superman III. Granted, the NEXT fight won't be so friendly.

I'll be honest, I don't know much on Minecraft (the last update I remember being a part of was the mooshroom) or the Lego Movie franchise (I only saw the first movie and Lego Batman), so I didn't know who was more powerful from the start. That said, I do like the idea of two creators duking it out with their craft. Call this one...

MASTER CRAFTERS

[russenoire]

8, 17, 35 !

8. if you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

i've already written a story without action... so writing one without dialogue would be more of a challenge. it could be a piece in which two characters are cuddling and one is asleep, or in which they've just had a nasty argument and one more word might lead to blows.

17. talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

i hate repeating myself, so please have these links in which i answer this question at length instead:

35. what’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

'don't switch character perspectives within a scene! you shouldn't switch at all, but if you do it should only occur once a chapter/once a scene. head-hopping is bad.' oh, bollocks to that. GTFO and go challenge yourself, i beg you. go read some good 19th and 20th century english-language literature and get back to me. if there's a good reason for me to shift between brains in a scene, i will do it; and you, gentle reader, will be none the wiser. you also won't be calling it 'head-hopping', because it shouldn't feel jarring if done well.

most writing 'rules' aren't, really. at best, they're guidelines to help you target your writing for specific audiences. for every prescriptivist so-called rule, i can find ten published pieces of fine english lit that blithely ignore it. the one i smash ignore most often in my writing on this blog is... 'proper' capitalization. i'm sure it annoys some people, but my writing isn't for them.

[popculturebuffet]

Sam and Max Beyond Time and Space Retrospective: Ice Station Santa (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy freelance police and welcome back! For those just tuning in for the better part of the year i've been taking a look at Sam and Max: Save the World courtsey of patron WeirdKev27, falling more in love with this franchise and these games each chapter. If you'd like to catch up, I've put links to each review into one masterpost

RIGHT HERE

So with season 2's production.. I don't have a lot. I tried but most articles I could find from the time are "Sam and Max Season 2 is happening and it's better than ever" and not much else.

It makes sense: Season 1 was Telltale Games big coming out party: while it wasn't the first game they made, that would be....

It was their big breakout success. So while season 1 was proving themselves by this point Telltale was a big name, Sam and Max were once again big names, and the episodic model had worked. So it's not a huge suprise that season 2's production was more: Let's do it all again but bigger and better!

So for season 2 the models are slightly more expressive, there's more mini games and the originals had widescreen support back when that was a feature. '

So what actually happens in this sequel? Well a lot so join me under the cut as our heroes take on a bloated hairy pagan god to save christmas, embark in a rigged trivia night, traumatize bosco for fun and profit, and run over some muppets. In other words it's another day at the office and i'm glad to be back.

We open season 2 with our heroes returning from a case, some time after season 1 which is said explictly to be last year, only to get a nasty suprise. A giant robot smashing up the place

It's not that souless abomination but the maimtron 5000. With our heroes assuming it's their goldfish plotting max's death, that old chestnut, we head outside for the first puzzle.. well okay we're SUPPOSED to head outside but I choose to instead dick around the office. The trophy closet continues to grow and i'm happy to see a jar of bliss join the stuff. It's not a big or flashy trophy granted, it's not a melted ted-e-bear heard or a whole human being. There's some nice new touches to the office too: the photos from hit the road and bad day on the moon are replaced with ones from season 1. IT's a nice little touch that helps vary up the office and allows it to feel refreshed while still recycling the set from last game.

The biggest and best addition though is some stuff swiped from Ted.E Bears charred ruins. I get the feeling they WANTED to include these last season but it simply wasn't fesable. At any rate you now have a mounted mafia anamatronic head over the desk and the wack a rat game is now free to play any time in your office. I did again, because I had fun and it's even more fun when you just touch the screen.

So we walk out onto main street.. and quickly get our first of many status quo shake ups for the season: Sybil's is thrown through the air and lands squarely between your business and boscos where the space for rent used to be. Or on top of it more likely. It's also teling just how used I got to Sam and Max's street that I know it like the back of my arm hair. Thankfully she's not inside but it was still unnerving to see such a key part of the first season tossed aside.

Thankfully the Maimtron himself... is pure comic gold. He's waxing lyrical incarnate, quoting countless pop songs. My faviorite bits from him are giving his number as "6875309" and "All the cops in the donut shops say way oh way oh". That one's more for Max's response "That's it no one quotes walk like an egyptian at me and lives!"

However bullets can't do anything against him. Thankfully he has a big wind up dealie on his back so you simply need to ask why do birds suddenly appear every time he is near. I mean the obvious answer as given by Lorne

Is just like me, they long to be, close to you, but since he's in metal box at the bottom of the sea since Max took office, it instead gives you an opening to turn the robot off. The sender turns out to be a hairy pagan god with powers untold. That right it's old saint nick and time for Christmas in late august.

One opening sequence later we're at the north pole and it's here we get some interesting structuring for this episode. For the first act of it you can't leave the north pole. Which was annoying at first as I wanted to see Season 2's settings and what's changed, but in hindsight works perfectly: it keeps you at the pole and thus keeps your options kept there. Likewise apart from a puzzle or two that requires you to go to the north pole, most of act 2 is on main street and the last one is a bit back and forth. It creates a nice gameplay loop without leaving you TOO overwhelmed.

But before we can get to the wonders of Santa's Workshop... we reunite with some old faces. Yes folks, the dreaded dark day of prophecy fortold in the scrolls has come. THE SODA POPPERS HAVE RETURNED

As you can imagine i'm not remotely happy their alive and survivied the great dakota wars with only a removal from office. Their mad about their christmas presents. Specs got.. something, Peepers got a night gown he just dosen' thave the hips for, and Whizzer got Tuberculosis. Same thing Sam got max. It's why they don't do secret santa any more. Those gags are funny, and at the very least Sam and Max are now as visably fed up with them as I am. They also aren't in this one too much and the developers make up for using them at all out of plot necsity by allowing you to throw snowballs full of bleach at them. Repeatedly.

It was one of the best days of my life. Also helping with the strain of these morons and specs returning is a little something from the past. See before I got into this chapter, Kev reminded me of what was INTENDED to be a running gag, but I simply never updated it. Persons of all ages I present the wall of misery

It was supposed to be a runnnig tally of characters I just.. flat out hated in fiction. Not just disliked, not just was mildly annoyed by in one version or another, the ones I CANNOT FUCKING STAND , the ones who truly bring out the rage in me. It ended up largely forgotten due to a combo of two things: my short term memory being shoddy.. and me simply not getting THAT angry that often when reviewing. I try to be fair to a work as much as possible, and prefer to focus on the positive. I"ll still be objective, i'll still come down on a works flaws, but at the end of the day the reason I got into this wasn't to let out my anger issues (which I do have and try hard to control), but to simply look at things I liked or things other people like as fair as possible. I WILL tear into something if it truly pisses me off, see my review of the boys comic, but I generally don't get my hackles up that high that often.

That being said.. as I looked at the wall I realized it had a place for that exact reason. If a character can not just annoy me (as a lot of this prototype do), but really make me hate them, really make it harder to watch an episode or read a scene if their around.. why SHOUDLN'T they get a badge of dishonor for it? Pissing me off is harder and harder these days, so why shouldn't someone get an award for it for somehow pulling that off? So I present to you

With thing one and thing two front and center. Thing three is absent because he's not a carnival of dicks crammed into one character model. If your curious whos who

First Row: Julie Powers (Scott Pilgrim (Comic)) Helen Lovejoy (The Simpsons) Billy Butcher (The Boys (Comic) ) Daisy Duck (Legend of the Three Cablleros Version, the rest are fine) Second Row: Mindy's Mom (Animaniacs Peepers (Guess) Whizzer (Oh come on) Roger Raincomprix (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir) Yivo (Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs) As for what the Soda Poppers have to do puzzle wise...

Yup my anguish, my bringing back and old bit, my pelting them with bleach and possibly elf urine, it all amounted to... well okay you DO get to pelt them all with bleach and possibly blind them for life. I"ll give the developers that. This appearance gets a pass.

So we finally get inside the Workshop to find this is the night santa went crazy, as Santa is holding anyone trying to come into his office at gun point and has been having the elves making more militarilzed toys. And tourture me elmer. Naturally Max loves that last one. He even screams like a real person.

I will say Santa holding everyone at gun point.. is more than a bit unsettling and is very "product of it's time" given the.. well everything that's happened since this chapter happened. While mass shootings happened back then, they weren't nearly as common. and... I need a moment.

Okay back. I didn't even notice it while playing it oddly enough, probably down to it being a product of it's time and my brain treating it that way. Or the situation being silly enough that the horrible crushing reality simply didn't hit me and thus the chapter holds up okay.

It helps the workshop has a genuinely... creepy atmosphere> The music, a more offputting carol of the bells, the lighting it's all more ominous than previous settings. It contributes to the episodes depressing vibe as when we get to town in a bit it's also a bit off. Thankfully this is sam and max so while I was a tad unsettled.. it really didn' tstay that way for long as you can stick your guns to the north pole, talk with the elves on how things hav edeteroriated and how the elves sang a song when they left "It wasn't very happy" and make an elf cry to progress.

Elf Tears make trees grow

So we need to make one of the elves cry. And given this is sam and max it's naturally one of the most darkly hilarious things as the elf WANTS to cry.. but even threatning to rip out his eyes or kill his dog dose'nt work.. I mean the former at least makes sense. You know I forget sometimes how much horrible stuff these games make you do till I sit down and play this month's chapter.. or how much comedy gold you get out of the suffering.

Now we have a pail of elf tears.. .which I didn't even know you could pick up. I assumed growing the tree was what you did to progress. This one's on me for both not using the button to show you everything you can react to.. and on not turning the hint system up. See last game I honestly forgot half the time Max gave you hints, not helped by the fact a majority were just max being max instead of offering any advice. So for this game they instead worked out a better hint system. I mean you can still talk to max for giggles, but instead if you turn it on and the game thinks your stuck, he'll shout out what you specifically need to do. I needed to crank it up to get him to do it, and evne cranked up it's nicely just if you've been idle or wandering around long enough.

Thankfully once Kev told me I could us ether elf tears, I grabbed them and used them on a coinvent little tree outside. This gets us into Santa's Office, but dosen't really fix the problem right away as he still outguns us. And given this is sam and max we're talking about that says a LOT. Thankfully we get our lead in to act 2: an exorcism diagram. It's actually quite simple they simply need a magentic pole, which they have and the four horseman of the apocalypse action figures.

So collecting all 4 is our next goal and we're finally back home. And each area has one of the four horseman.

The first one I encountered, and ironically the last one I grabbed, was Boscos. And boy oh boy was I not prepared. So.. since the end of Save the World Bosco's somehow sunk further down the conspiracy whole. Besides dawning his most hideous disguise yet, himself, he's torn the store apart, taking all the fun and helpful condiments from season one and replacing them with a presumibly useful in the future set of photography equipment. The lights are dim, the security's somehow MORE draconian and bosco himself seems on a shorter fuse. That dosen't mean we can't light it as there's two really fun bits. The first is since bosco is hiding from a group called "T-H-E-M", who i'm not doubting exists since he was at least SOMEWHAT on the money about most of his paranoid delusions, any time someone says them he gives out a high pitched shriek. Props to Oogie Banks for making it so damn hilarious. You can just.. say it over and over ot hear it till Bosco eventually uses the security system on you. Btads is back baby!

You can also ask if he has any, which of course he dosen't this isn't a store.. but the payoff is what makes the joke:

As for bosco's horseman it's in his package

And that joke was ALMOST as subtle as the jokes the game makes. Bosco won't open it because he thinks it has a bomb inside but won't NOT open it because it might have his broom. So once again we have to ruin bosco's life. Id' feel worse but given he's taken trillions of dollars from us simply because he could, let's scar him for life again!

This requires the present machine. You can send random junk to people. We only need to send two gifts for plot progression: a ticking stopwatch to bosco for obvious reasons and a footbath to stinky's diner for reasons i'll get into in a moment.

The watch makes Bosco think the present is a bomb, and while he's disposing of it you can steal from him again. And if he has any problem with it.. them.

Onto our next one at Pimp Le Car, another very 2000's joke but one that holds up as it's just plain funny a custom car place would decide "you know what we need to not get sued by xibit? FRENCH!"

And running Pimp Le Car are The C.O.P.S.

The COPS are like the anti-soda poppers to me: their instantly likeable, made their chapter better by existing and every time they show up gets a smile out of me. And lucky for me Telltale clearly felt the same as their upgraded to Bosco's old role of shopkeep, via their custom car buisness. Their also as funny as ever.

Naturally their task is the best. To get their figure (a free hood ornament) you have to run over as many torture me elmers as possible while they spit out things likes "I have rights" and "I'm an american citzen"

That's 1/4 horseman, but before we go we can also get Stickers

For the desoto. Turns out you can get 5.. I only got one assuming it was a once a chapter thing. It's pretty neat.

Moving on, we have Stinky's Diner, our second new location and our replacement for Sybils. And I have to admit while I miss both Sybils and Bosco's as it was this shakeup was necessary: while the gameplay loop of visiting the duo worked for a game, changing up who does their roll was necessary. Telltales smartly kept both characters, they simply changed up their gimmicks: Sybil's focused on her relationship with Abe LIncoln and Bosco has gone deep down the paranoia rabbit hole.

Stinky's isn't ENTIRELY new, having shown up in Hit the Road as a quick gag and Season 1 as a background feature. Our heroes were mentioned being fond of it's salty order who hoped to cull the weak with his questionable food.

Sadly for our heroes and about a wash for the rest of civlization, Stinky is gone, apparently having passed between games with his daughter taking his place. The boys are suspcious. The fact Stinky is a habitual liar who has rigged her trivia contest so no matter what you answer you loose so she can feel superior doesn't help.

Winning at trivia is a lot of fun and a clever puzzle: the pattern is simple enough: Sybil and Abe are on a date and while their relationship is going fine, the date itself is not great as both want to murder Girl stinky but neither wants to ruin the date for the other, and my boy the Army Bug whose dealing with some ptsd and the recent loss of his father. Poor guy. I'm glad he's here but he needs some bug therapy. Maybe Buster Blaster can branch out

YOU ARE NOT YOUR FATHER

YOU ARE GREAT

YOU CAN DO THIS

GIVE ME 5.50

Since the bug and Sybil always give the same answer, a and d respectively, you simply need to tell abe whose desperate for advice to choose b or c, choose whiche ver one he didn't and you win. Stinky begrudginly gives you your prize.

As for the footbath I mentioned you mail that to Girl Stinky, and she's thankful enough to let you take her old sock.

Note this is just me personally. If your into that, good for you. It's just not for me.

Anyways the sock will be useful later, and the less I have to talk about someone else's dirty sock the better.

So that leaves us with our final horseman to grab, and that takes us back to the start.. the giant robut. Thankfully kev told me when I was stuck to go back there. So Jimmy Two-Teeth and co have turned the robot into a boxing league. Thankfully you can aquire a boxing doll from the north pole and engage in the rat equilvent of punch out.

The boxing mini game is painful. It's main problem is simple: it's a punch out homage.. that isn't designed to work like punch out. So if you say spent a LOT of time playing punchout in college and have all your reflexes for a game tied to this where you assume you can dodge either way when your instead supposed to go the same direction your opponents punching, your gonna have a bad time. Spoiler: I had a bad time. Not helping is the final fight with Jimmy gives him a super punch that can knock you out in one hit. Why they didn't tune this up for the console versions better is beyond me.. and probably time and space.

Our heroes win.. which leads to Jimmy Two Teeth, sad his wife left him, to perch on a ledge and prepare to commit suicide. Honestly i'm suprised this episode didn't have you kick a puppy or 12 at this point. We can't help him yet though, but we CAN help santa. Using a record from his office, we play the summoning chant the friendly demon song!

Jared Emerson-Johnson continues his hot streak from last season and shame on me for not looking up who was writing and singing these things. Admitely the puzzle itself is frustrating if you don't get it but the solution.. is neat. The beast possesing santa left a bunch of clues around the workshop.. and it turns out it's our old friend Shambling Corproate Presence! I'm so delighted they brought it back.. granted it's just a pink monster.. thing, but it's still neat they brought it back.

Turns out though while this does draw it out Santa actually left out the instructions as a way of fighting from the inside.. and our heroes didn't look on the back. The only way to restrain the thing is the ghosts of christmas past, present and future. And thus we've come to our final act. You have to get the help of the spirits of christmas past , present and future to help. And in a nice and, as you'd expect for this episode, fucked up twist, it's all undoing shit our heroes did. Well for the most part, one is saving them but two are christmases our heroes genuinely ruined.

So first is past, and this is where we help our old friend Jimmy Two Teeth. Kinda. We go back to season 1 and while Christmas Past dosen't care about them kidnapping Leonard for keepsies, they do care about Jimmy's son needing money for his toureets or jimmy's wife about ot leave him. The only way to fix this.. is to kindap jimmy's wife, bring her to him, and then take his boxing glove so his past self can get the tourettes surgery money, fixing the problems we caused in his life with more problems in his life.

Then we have christmas present. Earlier when we got the figure from Stinky, Max pressed it. And since that one was pestlience it summoned the bug's awful family. We throw a snowball at him, it triggers his psd, and this gets the others to leave thinking he's his own dad.

So it's on to our final one which thankfully isn't comitting any crimes. Horay! We simply have to save ourselves from hell in the future. We do so by firing up the sleigh, which has been sitting outside waiting for some coal. And we just so happen to have a terrible persons' sock. We use it to coal up, go rescue ourselves and max hits on his past self suprising no one.

So now we can release the spirits of christmas. They try appealing to the corprate presence's better nature.. and once they get that off their quota beat it. Unfortuantely it goes back into santa.

Fortunately this final boss fight.. is pretty neat. See earlier in the workshop there's a bunch of stuff to play with but none of it comes into play, a tad annoyingly at that.

And while I still contend it was a bit much.. I can't fault telltale for the payoff, as you use all the stuff in santa's workshop to knock him out. The package that brought shambling corprate presence here turned out to be for satan so we send it back.

The problem is who will save christmas? Turns out it's the soda poppers who like me Max wishes were deead but for once turn out useful. WEll okay peepers and specs are, Whizzer's only fucntion is "unrinate on stuff" but frankly it's a funny enough gag he can live till the end of the season. JUST TILL THE END OF THE SEASON. Speaking of great gags our heroes drop off. And why not.. it's only mid november.

Ice Station Santa is a mixed bag for me. There are a lot of great gags shoved in here as usual, the puzzles are mostly fun, and while the first act can be frustrating the atmosphere can't be beat. It's mostly great stuff. The more I wrote about it though the more it became clear that the tone.. is a bit of an issue. Some jokes like making the elf cry or the muppet slaughter are so dark they work, while other bits just .. don't quite land. There's enough of the old sam and max goofiness to make the chapter not get to ounsettling but there's a more mean spirited tone in this one i'm really hoping isn't a trend for this game. Sam and Max works better when it's more over the top insanity and our heroes being over the top callous instead of just depressing. Still i'ts a solid start to the season Next Month..ish: Sam and Max take a vacation! Naturally they have to save the day to actually enjoy it. Thanks for reading.

[ofmermaidstories]

Hi Mermie, may I ask you for some writing advice? I absolutely adore your stories, and you've inspired me to write my own. I have a fic idea mapped out focussing on Deku's struggle to form healthy relationships (ie. obsessed with the two people he greatly responses [AM & BKG], seems to crush on ochako because she's the first girl to talk to him/show him kindness etc.). The course of the story spans over several years... I intended to do a time skip from childhood, to middle school, to high school - where a lot of the significant build up events are supposed to happen. Because of this, I'm not sure if another time skip into his adult life would then be appropriate? My concern would be that it takes away from the suspense and tension if he's 16/17 being pushed to the edge, he's at boiling point and then *poof* suddenly he's in his 20s. but the thing is, for the twist to happen, he has to be a pro hero :( I know that this fic will end up being a long multi-chaptered one, but just wanted to get your opinion on how you'd approach it? (If I've given enough context)

But also please don't feel obligated to answer if it's too long winded, or simply because you don't want to! Have a great weekend<3

Okay I have been thinking about this since you sent it, Anon, and first of all hello!!!! I’m so excited for you to write!!!!!!!! LETS WRITE!!!!!! 📝

But okay let’s have a looksies. 📖 🧐 It’s a little hard to diagnose without being elbow deep in the guts of it, but one thing I will say is that if you’re doing timeskips then honestly? smash-cuts work!!! You mention that you’re worried about it taking away from the tension of Izuku’s boiling point but depending on what you were trying to achieve with him being pushed to that point, and what you want to say/achieve with opening up on him in his twenties, you could use the jarring nature of the timeskip to your advantage! like—you could introduce your twist within that first paragraph, with him in his twenties. Or you could use it to bury/emphasise that struggle he’s been having, with forming those healthy relationships.

Like we leave Izuku there, at the edge of seventeen (pun absolutely intended lmfao), stricken and at his wits end, ready to implode and — poof! Suddenly he’s calm and smiley, the picture of a perfect hero, far removed from that overwrought teenager (or so we—the readers—think!!! Now you have the space to sneak in your twist 👹).

Obviously I dunno if this fits in with what you’re envisioning—but hopefully even just presenting an idea propels you forward to one you like better!!! 🥺 But even without knowing the nitty gritty details of your fic or how you think, my advice would be don’t be afraid of using those smash-cut timeskips! Ham them up if you wanna! Link them into each other with a leading sentence or whatever—use them to hide your trickery!!! If it’s important that Izuku maintains an in-fic sense of dread then, oops! Turns out beneath that smiley, capable adult he’s a mess! You have so many options, I reckon. So the most important part of this advice is to listen to your gut! Sounds trite, but it’s true. 🥹 It’s like… you know when you flip a coin and you know, instantly, what you’re hoping for? You have that same instinct in your gut for your story! All this other fuffle is just stuff to make you realise what you really want—the coin in the air before it lands. 🪙✨

[fagsex]

31&32

gonna do titus cuz link brought him to my frontal lobe yesterday Lawl

31. do they like receiving gifts? giving gifts? what is their ideal gift?

not really of either! hes not very good at gift giving, but hes very good at recommendations for others to buy gifts! the problem is he doubts himself too hard in the process of his own gift buying and then decides to play safe instead, or go radically in another direction. everyone has received a jar of different wildflower honey for every holiday or birthday for two years now. his ideal gift (pre Silent Night) would be more silly things to do with his friends, and honestly a nice painting or two for his room. post Silent Night (amnesia) all he could possibly think of wanting is blocked behind a wall and he wants nothing more than a hammer to smash it down

32. do they have any habits that aren't particularly self-destructive, just maybe odd?

hes very superstitious, which is odd for a guy whos best friends talk to ghosts or can affect weather or see the future and shit. the odder part is lying to his friends about it and saying he really doesnt think it hes just cautious, but an event or two corresponding with his superstitions will lock them in his head forever! he also is quite mild mannered until mikeys in the room, and pre and post Silent Night he has a bad habit of just fucking tackling him on sight. luckily, it's given mikey a worse habit, entering rooms punching on occasion.

ask meme

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image IDs: Image #1: Tweet from cuntry roads or whatever john denver said (@/ hairMetals) on Oct 15 reading; ao3 getting millions of dollars almost every year in donations but as a fic author you cant even mention needing money in the end notes of your own fic because ao3 will ban you swiftly for that . cant even have a button thats like hey if you liked my works pls consider just $1.

Quote tweet from em (@/ brosnyaa) on Oct 17, 2022 reading: I see the "AO3 should let us make money" takes are gong around again, so as a copyright attorney, I'd like to again provide some information about fanfiction and fair use.

Image #2: Reply from Pleb (@/ SolmUnable) on 10/18/22 reading: Wait so these twitter writers that made us pay goals for the next chapter of fanfic is doing something illegal??

Reply from abby (@/ andAWasp) on 10/18/22 reading: for a story they're using another author's characters for? technically yes. /End IDs]

Plain text: (key smash) Twitter writers did what now? And people paid them?

[Image IDs: Images #3-8: Series of tweets from em (@/ brosnyaa) on Oct 17, 2022 reading: In the US, the reason we can create fanworks without getting sued is the fair use doctrine. A lot of you are probably familiar with this - it allows us to use existing IP in limited contexts (i.e., when the work is "transformative")

What most people don't know about fair use is that it's an affirmative defense. An affirmative defense is used when you Did violate the law, but the law provides exceptions where that's okay.

All fanworks are infringing by default. When you invoke the fair use defense, you're saying, "Yes, I did infringe on this copyright, but it's okay because x, y, and z."

I think this is something a lot of authors and artists don't realize.

When you write fanfiction or draw fanart, you are engaging with someone else's copyrighted work. You're allowed to do this, but you have to understand that you're doing it with certain rules that need to be followed.

Two of the big factors in determining whether you can use the fair use defense are:

whether you were paid

how much of the original work you used

The 1ist is obvious. It's Huge.

The 2nd is, unfortunately, why fanart is generally more acceptable than fanfic when it comes to copyright. Fanart captures a single moment while fanfic uses characters, settings, themes, etc. It's more drawn out.S

So saying "but fanArtists make money!" doesn't work. The analysis is completely different - fair use is a balancing test, and writing v. art tips the scale in different directions.

Do I agree with this? No. FanWriters should be able to make money! But that's how the law is.

Back to the 1st factor. There are a lot of creators who are fine with fanworks now, but they're Only fine with it because fanfic is free. If that changes, we would most likely see more lawsuits.

As a non-profit, AO3 is able to face the world and say "all our fanfic is free."

Their policy is in place so that they're able, in good faith, to certify that all of the fanfiction on their site is unpaid. It's a Massive boost for the fair use defense. It means that if anyone sues the site or an author on the site, they'll have a much harder time of winning.

I won't tell you not to include ko-fi in your twitter bios or to tweet fanfic links with tip jars, I just want everyone to understand why AO3 has this policy.

Because heres one other thing more people could understand: lawsuits are Expensive. Especially copyright suits.

It's really a gray area what's allowed and what isn't in terms of fanworks, but the point is, if someone sues you and you win, it could still cost you A Lot Of Money.

What AO3 is doing isn't only to protect you legally, it's to make sure that no one even Tries to sue you. So yes, they are being more cautious than the law necessarily requires, but in this case, caution is a very good thing. /End IDs]

The rest of the thread is here.

tl;dr: Don’t monetize AO3, kids.  You won’t like what happens next.