#lily evans deserves better than to settle for james

[starchaserdreams]

In canon or fanon? James Potter in canon is ridiculously toxic. The way he treats Lily for all those years is gross and horrible.....to the point that I couldn't even ship them because my girl deserves so much better than him. She deserves someone who respects her as a human being and doesn't just treat her like a conquest to be won.

He's a fucking possessive incel for like five years and then grows into being decent (or so we're told), but Lily should never have had to settle for someone who treated her like that.

Lily is a goddess and James Potter in canon treats her terribly.

Gonna steal this from Reddit:

JKR treating their story is sweet and giving an incel a happy ending is so gross to me. Lily Evans deserved so much better than him.

I love James Potter in fanon because we as fans turned him into a decent, if chaotic, lovable scoundrel. But James Potter in canon is an incel wet dream, as the Redditor said.

James Potter and Sirius Black are perfect examples of healthy masculinity

[keepingupwithpotters]

goddess on a mountain top

Week 5 on @efkgirldetective 's Summer of Jily (technically not set in summer but in may?? surely that's forgivable)💫💫💫

stargazing + I've got plenty of affection / I'd be glad to show you some time

on ao3

It turned out there weren’t that many people who took Divination in her Astronomy class.

She was, somewhere deep in her mind, aware of this fact but the implications of it didn’t hit her until she was paired with her partner for this joint project. All that was left for Lily now was to scowl deep as she craned her neck, eyes crinkling with the effort.

There were many reasons Lily Evans wished she was anywhere but the Astronomy Tower tonight, number one being the late hour. Last she checked, it was very close to curfew, and sure they got permission from both of their professors for this, but that didn’t stop a gnawing worry growing inside her belly. And as a prefect –she still loved reminding herself that– wasn’t she supposed to be a little alert now anyway? Surely, these nerves were normal.

The warm May night was doing nothing to quell these concerns either, just serving as a mocking reminder of how close they were to the OWLs. She tried to console herself by seeing this as an exam prep too, empty star charts laying at the ground, but she would really prefer it if this certain homework was done solo at least.

And that brought her to the heart of the issue: the boy next to him. She had to admit, more than half of her anxieties right now were caused by him, a confession he would never hear from her lips though. An indignant huff escaped her with the thought.

“Stop hogging the telescope, Evans. Do you see Venus or not?”

She let go of James’ telescope with a sigh. They had decided bringing only one would be enough earlier, a decision she highly regretted now.

“No Venus. I think we’re looking in the wrong direction. We shouldn’t even need a telescope to see Venus, it’s supposed to be the brightest in the sky.”

“Umm, you’re wrong, Evans. Sirius is the brightest star in the sky.”

The last part was said with a practiced boredom, a phrase probably drilled into his head – and everybody else who was in the same Astronomy class with Sirius Black too, honestly. She would’ve found it amusing if it wasn’t for her cranky mood.

A saccharin smile. “Good thing Venus is not a star then, right, Potter?”

She decided to continue her search for Venus on the other side, hoping to find Jupiter as well before they lost their chance to see both. Their mission was supposed to be one of the easy ones, with the two brightest planets and all. She had a suspicion that wasn’t why Professor Dowson had given it to them though, remembering her wink as she remarked that maybe this Venus-Jupiter conjunction would do them some good too. Hah. Not bloody likely.

Her decision to leave his side certainly had nothing to do with her clammy hands holding the telescope, slipping further with his proximity. She tried to bring Sev’s face forth in her mind, guilt churning inside her stomach instantly. Better guilt than these weird flutters in her heart.

Venus winked at her from afar, seemingly mocking her thoughts. She didn’t have time to take offense before she turned her head to alert James too, relieved to finally do something besides bickering back and forth about planets and stars.

“Oi, Potter, come over here. I found it.”

He shuffled over reluctantly, probably due to not wanting to admit defeat. He barely even glanced at the sky before opening his mouth.

“Are you sure? I can’t see anything.”

“Well, some of us can see without needing a bloody gold telescope.”

She repositioned him correctly, turning his head to the right direction while grumbling under her breath. Her annoyance prevented her from realizing how close they’d gotten in the process, a fact that instantly took her breath away with the awareness. She waited a while before speaking again.

“Do you see it now?”

He choked out a “Yes.”, managing to stumble over one syllable. She didn’t let herself think why that was the case, too busy stressing over whispering the question at the first place.

Needing some distance in between, she took a shaky step back, trying to regain her composure. “And the dimmer one next to it should be Jupiter. We located the conjunction now, let’s fill the charts before we waste more time.”

“Relax, Evans.” He rolled his eyes. “We’re doing homework, and we have permission. This must be the most boring curfew breaking I have ever been involved in.”

“Sorry it’s not up to your standards, Potter. Next time I’ll bring Peeves with me.”

“I was hoping we would be alone next time we were in the Astronomy Tower together actually, Evans.”

A flush rose to her face with his cheeky smile, hopefully not too visible in the dark. She wanted to storm away under the guise of bringing their empty charts from the other side, but saw he already brought them with him in disappointment. She settled for a really loud exhale instead.

They were sitting on the ground, filling their charts in silence when they were interrupted for the first time that night. A couple barged into the tower in a flurry, limbs tangled, and eyes not seeing anything but each other. They didn’t seem to anticipate anyone else being there at this hour, not bothering to check their surroundings. An amused cough came from James as a warning while she was too shocked to say anything.

The couple finally broke apart, looking at them like they were the ones not supposed to be here.

“Oh, it’s already occupied,” the girl breathed out at last, looking sheepish and apologetic. “Sorry, didn’t see you. We’ll find another place.”

The guy gave them a funny look before leaving as he eyed their position and the charts laying before them, questioning their purpose in the Astronomy Tower most likely. The frantic couple left as quickly as they came in, leaving James and Lily gaping behind them.

The silence was broken by her laugh at last.

“Oh, no. Did she say they will find another place?” It seemed once the dam was broken, there was no stopping it. “I should’ve stopped that as a prefect, shouldn’t I?”

He joined in her laugh after a while too, shock wearing off from both of them gradually. “Nah, Evans. Reckon you deserve a day off. Leave it to the ones patrolling today, it’s their problem.”

The tense mood from earlier was dissipated, just a faint memory behind now that they wouldn’t touch upon. She felt like she owed the couple for that, at least.

“I am done with the star chart. We only have the astrological interpretation left now, right?”

“Yeah.” He went through the notes in front of him rapidly, looking for the correct glyphs. “Okay, so we got Jupiter touching Venus. And Jupiter amplifies everything it comes into contact with. Let’s just list everything Venus does with ‘more’ before it and call it a day.”

She couldn’t argue with that logic. She started to rattle on as she wrote in the margins of her chart. “Alright, then more love, more beauty, more creativity… More art maybe, for the creativity and aesthetic side? And more affection for love and pleasure.”

“Yeah, good, but we’re supposed to write them as the effects of the transit so something like ‘I will show more affection’ is—”

She couldn’t stop the snort that left her mouth.

“What?”, he gave an offended cry. “I’ve got plenty of affection. I am oozing with affection.”

Images of Severus and all the other poor First Years filled her mind. “Yeah, for like three other people.”

“It doesn’t have to be only three people,” he mumbled. She couldn’t hear him without straining her ears.

“Ah, I won’t believe you finally broadened your horizons till I witness it with my own eyes, Potter.”

“Yeah?” There was a challenging glint in his eyes. “Well, I’d be glad to show you sometime,” he bit out.

She tried to stop her mind from wandering. “Can’t wait.”

Lily Evans was no fool, she knew exactly what these innuendos were, and what her body’s extreme reactions to them meant. But Lily Evans was also a good friend. So, she would wait, maybe even talk with Severus in the meanwhile about it. The exam period was plenty stressful anyway, it only made sense for her to be cautious about this.

She would bid her time, stay put until the OWLs were over. Her rising hopes were hushed immediately with the thought, not allowing her mind to dream that far. But for right now, Lily Evans would enjoy some time with James Potter under the stars. After all, she was no saint, and Venus herself shined her approval from above.

[j-amespotter]

♡ Lover - j.p. x l. e.

"i take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover."

Pairing: James Potter x Lily Evans

Summary: Newlyweds Lily and James move into their first home together.

Genre/Warnings: fluff, allusions to pregnancy (if u squint)

Word Count: 610

A/N: apologies for my extended hiatus from tumblr :/ fingers crossed i am back for good this time, lol. this is for @w1segirl's writing challenge (and was supposed to be posted over a month ago, oh well!) but it was sitting in my drafts, so why not? anyway, it's really short and kinda sucks but i hope you enjoy (and that i get out of my writing slump!)

<this is also my first jily piece EVER so what better way to start jilytober, am i right?>

masterlist

Lily felt like she was carrying the weight of the world as she Apparated on the top step of a decently-sized, two-story cottage, clutching a box filled to the rim of her things mixed with her husband’s. Husband’s. Woah.

Lily Evans—Lily Potter, actually—was petite but strong, so on an average day, carrying boxes from one location to the next would have been a menial task. But on that particular December night, Lily was feeling a bit more tired than usual. She leaned against the door and heaved a sigh, closing her eyes momentarily to enjoy the brisk air prickling bits of her exposed skin. Just a moment later, another box floating in mid-air nudged her side.

There wasn’t even a second for her to roll her eyes. She stared at the space before her, spotting a flash of movement. The frame of a tall figure appeared, a man with round glasses, messy hair, and hazel eyes that shone in the moonlight. “That’s the last of ‘em, love.”

“Is there anything you can do without magic?”

“Plenty,” said James cheekily. He tugged her into his side, and she involuntarily fell into his casual embrace. “You alright, Evans?”

“Just tired,” said Lily. They walked in step with each other into their new, barely-furnished home. “It’s tiny, isn’t it?”

“I think it’s perfect,” said James, without a flicker of doubt in his voice, enough to appease the nagging voice in her head—the voice that always told her she would never be enough for him, that he deserved better than her. “Come on. You settle in. I’ll get everything inside.”

She led him (and the floating boxes) into the sitting room, ready to plop onto the sofa and collapse into a much-needed slumber. The sight before her, however, left her just short of a heart attack.

“About time,” drawled a smug-looking Sirius Black, James’s best friend, and pain-in-Lily’s-backside. “You know, Evans, it’s rude to keep company waiting.”

“Thought you were coming over to help,” grumbled Lily, though she didn't mind the intrusion at all.

“We’re your guests,” said another voice. Lily fought a smile as she recognized Peter Pettigrew emerging from the kitchen, with a lanky Remus Lupin following closely behind him. “Or, at least, that’s what Padfoot said.”

“Sorry, Lily,” said Remus, always apologizing for his friends but never meaning it. “We didn’t mean to barge in on your first night.”

“Nonsense,” said James from behind her. “The more, the merrier. Right, Lil?”

Lily grinned. The Marauders were a package deal. She knew this before she had ever even considered James Potter worth glancing at. “Of course. Our home is your home.”

“Which is why you’re all going to help me unpack,” said James, smirking.

Sirius clutched his heart dramatically. “You wound me, Prongs. A betrayal of the highest form. The Head Boy in you really took over, didn’t he?” However, despite his (loud) complaints, he wasted no time levitating a box of dishes into the kitchen.

As James made his way to follow Remus and Peter into the hallway, Lily caught his hand. He hugged her into him again, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Thank you,” she said into his shoulder. And it wasn’t just for putting the boys to work or giving her a chance to rest.

“Our home,” he whispered into her hair. “This is our home.”

Lily Potter had yet to understand how this man, a stick of dynamite, a force to be reckoned with, wanted to spend a quiet, average life with her. Because for all she knew, her life with him would be anything but average. And the best was yet to come.

Taglist: @iwritesiriusly @she-seeks-magic @queenofblacks @duckie-dunham @grincheveryday @pogueslandia @justenoughmadness

[salazarslytherin]

player, heartbreaker (wolfstar)

requested: nope! written for @acosmis-t ’s writing challenge! send in your own request here

summary: in which sirius breaks remus’ heart- not for the first time, but definitely the last.

prompts: 6. “i love you.”, “no you don’t” 8. “how was i such an idiot, to believe that you, out of all people, could ever love me?” 13. “maybe they were right. you never did change.”

cw/tw: angst, cheating, just tears, and a whole lot of em

word count: 2.4k

🃛 masterlist!

a/n: if you enjoyed this oneshot please consider reblogging and/or dropping me a follow! it’ll help me out a lot :)

I love you.

Those three words meant so much to Remus. Shunned by so many throughout his life, coming to Hogwarts and feeling the warm embrace of friendship and the overwhelming amounts of love that came with it made him lightheaded, feeling as if he were floating on air.

Those three words had made Remus excuse so much. Times he’d gotten in trouble with McGonagall because of a stupid prank Sirius had pulled and blamed on him.

“She’ll pull me out of quidditch for this! You’re the perfect student, she’ll let you off the hook! I love you Moony!”

Remus wasn’t let off the hook, but he never held it against Sirius.

Dangerous and idiotic pranks were forgiven- like the Full Moon Incident with Snape in fifth year. The Black heir had grovelled and apologised, spending many nights on his knees, begging for Remus’ forgiveness.

“Moony I’m so sorry, I was just, infuriated by the sheer audacity of Snivellus. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I love you, and I would do anything to prove to you that I can make it up to you.”

It took another full moon for Remus to forgive him, but he never forgot the heartbreak and betrayal that the incident had brought him.

Yet, he didn’t hold it against him. Because it was Sirius Black.

The first boy to show him friendship, the first boy to show him affection, the first boy to show him love.

⚔︎.

Not long after the Incident, the love between the two had blossomed- growing from a platonic, brotherly love to one that was more complicated.

One was the Prince of Gryffindor; the biggest player and heartbreaker that Hogwarts had seen in decades. Flirting and fucking girls and boys alike, Sirius Black left behind him a trail of tears and heartbreak. Yet he was never resented for it, because that’s just who he was.

Sirius Black, the serial heartbreaker.

The other was quiet. The most unassuming member of the Marauders- studious and always willing to help others regardless of house and year. A Werewolf littered with scars, but the gentlest person you could ever meet. Remus Lupin was the kindest soul you could find, but vicious when you needed him to be. Although quiet, he was charming and outgoing, the kind of person you could have a beer with, but also come to for your troubles.

Remus Lupin, the kindest boy at Hogwarts.

The two were best friends, but perhaps there was always a little bit more.

Sirius was openly bisexual, flamboyant and flaunting of his sexuality, he flirted with anyone and everyone.

Rumour has it he tried to flirt Filch out of detention once.

Remus was gay, but only told others when asked. He didn’t think his sexuality was anyone’s business, perhaps except his and his partner’s only.

As a result of these two polar opposites that were too similar for their own good, there was always an underlying sense of attraction. Remus would watch Sirius from behind a book, smiling at his jokes, laughing at his antics.

Sirius always admired Remus’ scars, equating them with bravery and beauty.

One day, the attraction had just clicked, and the words “I love you Moony” became “I’m in love with you, Moony.”

The stolen glances turned into shared, lingering looks in classes after a make-out session in an alcove- Remus turning red when he realised he was wearing Sirius’ shirt instead of his own, one that was just a tad bit too small for the Werewolf, then vermillion when someone pointed out a hickey Sirius had left on his neck.

Nights were no longer lonely– neither of the two was plagued with nightmares anymore as, much like the year before, many nights were spent with Sirius on his knees- albeit under very, very different circumstances.

⚔︎.

Not long after they had gotten together, Gryffindor won yet another quidditch match against Slytherin, and a Marauders party had exploded in the Common Room. Students from every house, save for Slytherin, partied the night away with bottles of firewhiskey and cake from the house elves, which ended up more on people’s faces than in their mouths.

Remus, not one to “party hard” like Sirius or James, found himself sitting on the window seat, chatting with passersby, sipping on a cup of firewhiskey while watching his friends on the dance floor.

“Hey there Lupin. Not out there with the rest of your marauders?”

Lily sat herself down next to Remus, clutching her own firewhiskey as she watched her boyfriend dance with Remus’, Peter bouncing awkwardly between the two.

“Not really feeling up for it. Why aren’t you out there yourself? Thought you’d be out dancing with James, you two seem awfully close these days.”

A blush graced Lily’s face, coughing slightly to cover her embarrassment as she turned to face her fellow prefect.

“Well, you and Black seem awfully close yourselves. Are you actually dating him?”

From anyone else, Remus would’ve thought the question rude and blunt, intrusive, even. But over the years, he began counting Lily Evans a friend almost as close as the Marauders, so he shrugged, and let it slide.

“Maybe. What’s it to you?”

The redhead shrugged, looking out onto the dance floor where a Ravenclaw had grabbed onto Sirius, grinding onto his front as the Gryffindor seemed to welcome him, holding his hips close to his own, the pair lost in the music.

“I just worry about you, Remus. I know you two are best friends, and you should always trust the people you’re with, but, we all know what Black’s like. I don’t want to see you become one of the ones he leaves behind.”

Remus clenched his jaw at the sight of Nathan Sulzer grinding on his boyfriend, his heart clenching slightly as Sirius did nothing to stop him.

“I’ll be fine Lily.”

James wandered towards the two of them, pressing a kiss to Lily’s lips as he shoved Remus lightly on the shoulder.

“Alright, Moony?”

Remus felt his heart break slightly as Nathan peppered kisses on Sirius’ neck, the same spots he had kissed that very morning before the quidditch match. James followed the werewolf’s gaze as he failed to reply, his own fist clenching in response.

“Merlin Moony, I’m so sorry. I swear I thought he would’ve changed for you. I love that man but I swear he can be so thick somedays.”

Remus shook his head, feeling tears well up that he willed away, putting down the cup and pushing himself off the seat.

“It’s fine. I’m going to head upstairs first. G’night you two.”

“I love you Moony.”

“Love you too Prongs. Night Lil.”

⚔︎.

That was not the night Sirius Black broke Remus Lupin’s heart for the last time. Later that night, the beater had come up, small hickeys staining his neck and collar overturned as he begged Remus for his forgiveness.

“I was so drunk baby I didn’t even realise what he was doing. Just celebrating, I didn’t even know who I was dancing with! I love you so much Re I’m so sorry. It will never happen again.”

Remus forgave him. He always did.

After all, this was Sirius Black he was faced with.

And if we know anything, it’s that Remus Lupin always forgave Sirius Black.

Later that week, when Nathan Sulzer came to Remus to ask for help with a transfiguration essay, he merely turned and walked away, causing Nathan to wonder what he’d done to earn the ire of the kindest boy in Hogwarts.

⚔︎.

It was the last day of exams in sixth year. Remus and Peter, being the only ones in the Marauders to take NEWT level Ancient Runes, were the last to finish their exams. Excitedly discussing what was to come in the summer as well as the final weeks of school, the two made their way back to Gryffindor tower.

“So what are you doing over the summer Wormy? Have your parents settled on a vacation spot yet, or are you going to finally stay around for once?”

Peter smiled softly, shrugging as he clutched his books to his chest.

“I’m not really sure, but I think we should be around for the last few weeks. You’re staying with Prongs and Padfoot for a while, right? I think I’ll probably be able to join you if you’re still there by the time I get-”

The pair’s conversation was cut short as they ascended the stairs to their dorm, hearing a piercing feminine moan coming from their room.

“Merlin, never pegged Lily for the vocal type.”

Peter frowned, uncomfortable.

“Clearly you’ve not been around the Potter household when she stays with Prongs during Christmas. ”

Shuddering, their soft laughter was cut short as footsteps thundered up the stairs behind them, muscular arms landing on the two Marauders’ shoulders.

“Alright, lads! Finally finished with your exams?”

James Fleamont Potter stood behind his two fellow Marauders in all his glory, making the boys freeze in their actions.

“I- you-”

Remus’ mind was moving a mile a minute, the reality clocking in but he refused to admit it. This had to be some sort of a sick prank.

“If you’re out here, then who’s that in there having sex with Lily?!”

Peter pointed at the door, the confusion and adrenaline running through the three boys making them miss the soft moan of ‘Sirius’ coming from behind the doors.

“What?! Nobody better be having sex with my Lily!”

The heavy wooden doors flew open as James kicked it with all his might, revealing Emmeline Vance naked and on top of the one and only, Sirius Black.

“Padfoot?!” emerged out of Peter’s mouth at the same time as the words “That’s not Lily!” came from James’, before reality dawned upon the two, turning to face the werewolf.

“Get out.”

“Moony I-”

For the first time in a long time, Remus felt a fire rise in his stomach, his temper snapping as he threw his books on the ground.

“All of you, get out!”

The werewolf’s head snapped up at the naked boy on the bed, who was stealing fearful glances at the girl quickly redressing next to him.

“Except you, Black.”

⚔︎.

Sirius had awkwardly finished putting on his clothes as Remus stood beside his own bed, feeling nothing, his previous anger had sizzled out and left him hollow.

“Moony I-”

“I don’t want to hear you speak. I don’t, I just,”

A memory flashed by Remus’ mind, that party after Gryffindor’s first win of the year. Lily’s words echoing in his mind: we all know what Black’s like.

“Maybe they were right. You never did change.”

A cold laugh emerged from the prefect’s lips, looking up at the ceiling he’d become so familiar with over the past year. The one he’d studied night after night with Sirius in his arms, the one he’d memorised when he wondered whether he did anything wrong when Sirius apologised to him for this thing or that, breaking his heart bit by bit, day by day.

“How was I such an idiot, to believe that you, of all people, could ever love me? Sirius Black, prince of Gryffindor. The biggest player Hogwarts has ever seen, the biggest heartbreaker there’s ever been!”

Remus continued laughing his emotionless laugh, one that made Sirius wince and shudder. It was so unlike him, so hollow, so cruel.

Nothing like his Remus.

“Of course I love you Moony. I love you.”

Sirius made his way over to Remus, his calloused hands reaching out towards Remus’ scarred ones.

“No you don’t.”

Remus’ hand was enveloped for a mere second, the familiar warmth begging him to stay before his sinking heart reminded him of the hurt he was pushed under by those same hands, and ripped himself away.

“If you loved me, you would never have done this. If you loved me, you’d never have made me doubt whether you really wanted to be with me. If you’d loved me,”

Remus looked at Sirius for the first time since James and Peter left the room. As their eyes met, Remus felt the tears welling in the grey eyes he loved so dearly pulling at his heartstrings, clenching his jaw before continuing, willing his own tears not to fall.

“We wouldn’t be here. I was in love with you, but you were in love with the idea of me. The chase, the excitement of a relationship you couldn’t flaunt all across the halls.”

Muted ‘no’s and soundless protests were made as Sirius fell to his knees in front of Remus for the umpteenth time that year, but this time out of desperation, an attempt to salvage something that couldn’t be salvaged.

“But you got tired, and you found the excitement in sneaking around with others. Pushing the boundaries to see how far you could get without being caught.”

Tears fell freely from Sirius’ eyes now, clutching onto Remus’ trousers as he cried out.

“That’s not it. Please Re, I love you, I love you so much. You’re everything for me, my home, my only. Please don’t do this.”

Remus’ own eyes flew shut, but he continued, tears escaping as rapidly as the words did.

“And now you’ve gotten caught. I hope it was worth it, because I’m done forgiving you. I’m just so, so done. I’m tired of not being good enough for you, I’m tired of second guessing myself and wondering why you end up in other people’s arms.”

Sirius shook his head fervently, incoherent words and sobs wracked from his throat as he hugged Remus’ legs with more strength than he knew he had, shaking his head at the werewolf’s words.

“You know, I would’ve done anything for you. I forgave you each and every time you crawled back to me. No matter how many times you broke my heart, I turned to putty in your hands every time you told me ‘I love you’.”

Remus’ hands landed on the boy’s shoulders for the last time, a motion so familiar, yet so foreign at the same time, pulling him away. He took Sirius’ chin into his hand, tilting his head up to meet his tearfully hopeful eyes.

“I love you Remus.”

Desperation dripped from the animagus' voice, his eyes searching Remus' face for one last bit of mercy, one last "I love you".

“I love you Sirius. But I don’t want to love you any longer.”

[mckennacbaker]

Kiss Her You Fool (Marauders One Shot)

**this story is based on the song Kiss Her You Fool by Kids That Fly. It takes place right after James and Lily’s first date**

James busted through the dorm room, out of breath and looking rather, well, green. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed against it, and Sirius untangled himself from his boyfriend and rushed to his best friend’s side, “Oy, James, you alright there mate?” Sirius grabbed James’s arm and steered him to Remus’s bed to sit him down. In response, James only opened and closed his mouth like a fish. Remus smoothed out his bed and motioned for Peter to join them. They all gathered around James, looking concerned.

Remus tried again, he touched James’s shoulder and asked, “Did something happen on your date with Lily?”

Sirius’s eyes went wide at the possibility, and before James could even open his mouth, Sirius was pacing the room, ranting, “If Snivellus tried to bother you in any way, I’m going to use so many hexes on him, I swear to Godric. He won’t even be able to finish school when I’m done with—”

Sirius abruptly stopped talking as he saw the warning look on Remus’s face, “Padfoot, sit,” commanded Remus. Sirius whimpered and sat across from them on his own bed.

“I blew it,” James whispered.

“What was that, mate?” Peter asked from next to James.

“I bloody blew it,” he covered his face with his hands, “with Evans. She probably thinks I’m an even bigger knob than before.”

Peter’s eyes grew wide, “What did you do?” Remus gave Peter a warning look, they needed to go about this more sensitively. James looked like he might keel over and die at any second.

“Well, when we left, I was nervous. So, I kept messing with my hair,” all the boys nodded, knowing about his habit, “And then Evans saw me doing it, and of course she yelled at me…” he trailed off and developed a dopey grin, remembering the moment.

“And?” Sirius demanded, earning another menacing glare from Remus.

“Well, after that, my nerves went away. It was just a normal date. We talked and laughed, and it was really fun. The date was practically out of my bloody imagination,” he seemed to be done talking, but had failed to mention anything that warranted his previous behavior.

“So then… may I ask what you came in here so upset about?” Remus asked with an amused grin.

James suddenly paled, “When- when we got back,” he threw himself back on the bed in frustration, “I couldn’t bring myself to kiss her. I was so fucking nervous about ruining the date that I shook her hand and bolted up here.” Sirius collapsed into a fit of laughter, while Peter and Remus struggled to hide their amusement. James just continued to stare blankly up at the ceiling.

Gasping for air, Sirius exclaimed, “You were worried about ruining the date with a snog, so you shook her hand instead? Brilliant, Prongs! I’m sure she liked that loads better.” Sirius laid back on the bed, laughing again. Remus went over to sit on Sirius’s bed, and with one warning look from Remus, Sirius was quietly sitting up with his head resting on his boyfriend’s shoulder. James looked like he might be sick.

“It’s okay,” Peter reassured James, “I’m sure you can come back from this. Lily really seems to like you.”

“Like me?” James said incredulously, “She barely agreed to go on this date. This was my chance to romance her, and I mucked it all up.”

“Well,” said Peter, unsure of himself, “Couldn’t you just go find her and kiss her now?”

Remus nodded, “You know, that’s not a bad idea. It hasn’t really been that long.”

James looked at them like they each had three heads, “I can’t just go back now. I would look like an idiot. I’ll just have to forget about her.”

Remus made a stern face, “Stop making excuses, Prongs. Just go back out there and tell her you forgot something. Then, when she asks what, go in for the kiss.”

Sirius smirked, “Oooh, Mooney has moves.” Remus blushed.

James still had a frown on his face and made no move to get up. Peter hauled him off the bed, “C’mon James. This is worth it; Lily is worth it. You’ve been pining after her since you first saw her. Don’t be a bloody fool.”

James pondered it for a moment, but then said, “No, I can’t. Lily deserves the perfect kiss, and this is far from it. I already fucked up; I’ll just hope by some miracle she agrees to a second date.”

Sirius stood too now, and began steering James towards the door, “You’ve got to stop waiting for a fairytale, Jamie. It’s not coming. You have to make the moment magical, don’t wait for someday.”

It was Remus’s turn to smirk, “Why don’t you ever romance me with a magical moment, Padfoot?” Sirius swatted at Remus, and in moments they were wrestling on Sirius’s bed.

After a while, James finally yelled, “HELLO? Fellow marauder in a crisis here!”

“Look,” Remus said, rising from the bed and pushing Sirius on the floor with a loud thud, “I know for a fact, she feels the same way you do. Don’t be afraid. Be your usual cocky self and go down there and snog her face off.” Sirius was now dramatically rubbing his bottom and making whimpering noises, in an attempt to make Remus feel guilty for pushing him. It did not work.

“How do you know that?” James asked.

Remus just shrugged, “Lily and I are friends.”

“And you didn’t think to mention that 10 bloody minutes ago?” James scowled.

“It’s not my information to share, but apparently you need all the help you can get,” Remus strode back over to his bed and opened his book, clearly done with the situation.  

Seeing his boyfriend get back in bed, Sirius practically pushed James down the stairs, “You’ve only got one chance, go kiss her before Peter calls you a ‘bloody fool’ again. That’s insulting, especially coming from him.” Peter rolled his eyes at Sirius in response. Once James was down the stairs, Sirius flounced over to Remus’s bed and placed himself between the werewolf’s legs, settling in for a cuddle. Remus immediately began mindlessly running his hand through Sirius’s long black curls as he continued to read.

Sirius sighed with contentment, “I can’t wait until James and Lily are as happy as us.”

“Mhmm?” Remus was only half listening, “Yeah, Pads, I love you too.”

Meanwhile, downstairs, Peter had turned into a rat, and was hiding to make sure his best friend didn’t chicken out again. James was relieved to find that Lily was still in the common room, although she was fervently whispering to her roommates. “Well, no way to avoid them,” he thought as he walked up to all the girls and cleared his throat. All of their heads snapped up, eyes wide.

“James,” said Marlene, “What a coincidence, we were just talking about you.” This earned an elbow to the ribs from Lily.

James felt his cheeks pink, but pressed on, “Do you ladies think I could speak to Lily alone for a moment?”

“Oh, of course,” said Dorcas, politely. The three girls rose to leave, and on their way out, Marlene shook James’s hand.

James gritted his teeth, “I’ll get you for that later, Marls.”

“What ever do you mean?” she smiled sweetly and sauntered away.

James sat on the couch next to Lily and began, “Look, it seems I, uh, forgot something at the end of our date there.”

Lily arched an eyebrow and wore an amused smile, “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, I, uh, I forgot…” James furrowed his brow, “Oh, bugger Remus and his damn pickup lines.” Lily threw her head back and laughed. James loved that laugh, it didn’t even matter that it was at his expense.

When Lily was finished her fit of giggles, she spoke, “Look, Potter, it’s okay. I had fun today, really.”

James looked visibly relieved, “That’s great to hear. I was worried that you would want to hex me. I can’t believe I ran off like that, you don’t deserve that, Evans. You deserve someone who will have the bullocks to kiss you after a first date. Not, of course, without consent—” “Potter—” “—but instead, you went on a date with—how did you put it last year? —right, ‘a prick of a pure blood’ who has no idea to treat a woman. Look, now that I’m saying this out loud, if you never want to talk to me again, I completely—” James found himself being cut off, as Lily had jumped into his lap and pressed her lips to his. Lily bloody Evans was on his lap. Kissing him. After the initial shock wore off, James managed to kiss her back. It was lovely and wonderful and everything right in the wizarding world.

It was Lily who finally pulled away and breathed, “Wow.” James was wearing a rather dopey grin and was acting as though he was suffering from a lip lock hex. Lily stood and smoothed out her skirt, “See you later, Potter.” She hurried off in the direction of the girl’s dorm leaving James Potter, the most arrogant boy in Gryffindor tower, a bumbling, blushing mess.  

[lilylovessev]

reacquainted || snily

“I can’t comprehend why it is that you actually want to do this to yourself.”

Marlene McKinnon took a slow drag of her cigarette, narrowing her eyes. 

“You know that we’re here for you. It has clearly been a horrendous time, but is this really what you want to do?”

Had becoming a Professor at Hogwarts ever been in her list of ideal jobs? Nope. However, this was happening, whether Marlene liked the fact that she was leaving or not. 

Lily Evans stood up straight and turned to look over at her closest friend, sighing tiredly. They had been playing this game of back and forth about her leaving for weeks now, and it was still bloody happening. She wasn’t going to be changing her mind.

“Look, I am not going to the end of the earth. Who knows how long I’ll last up there. I may want to do nothing more than run home, but I desperately want to try. I feel like this is something that I need to do. That I have to do.” The redhead ran a hand through her red locks, reaching out for the cigarette. “I need to make a new start for myself. I need to do something.” 

She hadn’t had to work in a while. Admittedly, James hadn’t allowed her to work. Her ex-husband was a bit of a shit. Honestly, she was well rid of him. A marriage that had only ever ripped her heart out and smashed it to smithereens. A marriage that had smothered her confidence, damn well-near destroyed her self-image and had made her feel very small. It had taken a lot for her to walk away from it, from a marriage that had been envied by her friends. It had taken a long time for her to realise that everyone deserved to know the truth, that she deserved far better than having her life controlled by someone else. He had never physically hurt her. Yet, she had suffered. There had been nothing remotely happy about her marriage, not on her behalf, at least. Yet, she knew that he hadn’t at all been oblivious to the harm that he had caused her. He had been fully aware of having kept her under foot. It was embarrassing to think about now, knowing that she had allowed for it to go on for so long without her having done something about it. 

Now? She had reclaimed her life. 

She was going to do exactly what she wanted, when she wanted. She wanted to bloody do something with her life, and a job opening at Hogwarts had rather inexplicably drawn her in. There were probably better opportunities out there. But, there was something so safe about the thought of going back to the school that had been her home for such a formative part of her life. It was certainly going to be an interesting transition, but she was up for the challenge. She knew that there were going to be aspects of her current lifestyle that she’d miss, but it would surely be worth it. As much as her friends had their doubts, she didn’t have any at all. That was telling, surely.

“Look, if you’re unhappy, please don’t stay there. Life is far too short to be quite that miserable.”

“Oh, I am fully aware of that, Mar.” Lily laughed, shaking her head as she handed the cigarette back. “You know that I’ll miss you, but I’ll be back often enough. And you can come and visit, it’ll be just like the old times.” She knew that this wasn’t going to be easy, not at first, but she’d committed to taking on the role now. She had no bloody clue how good that she’d be at the job, but there was no turning back for her. She liked to think that she’d be an understanding, patient teacher. She felt as if she was going to be have to be.

//

“Do you need any help, love?”

“No, I’m alright thanks.” Lily exhaled a deep breath, a tad sweaty as she took off her sunglasses and looked up at the school. This had been a long time in the making, and it felt utterly bizarre that she was actually there. She watched as the carriage retreated down the hill, before she started pulling her trunk up toward the large doors that signalled the entrance to the castle. Honestly, she already felt such a huge amount of weight lifted from her shoulders. As much as it did feel odd to be back at Hogwarts, it also felt as if she were arriving home after a long trip away. 

She pushed open the door, smiling as she was immediately met by a Porter, who helped her with her trunk. The place was quiet, almost eerily so. There wouldn’t be any students back for a couple of days, which would give her enough time to set up and settle back in. 

She looked around, not having expected anything to have changed at all, and it hadn’t. She exhaled a small sigh of relief, and it was finally hitting home that she’d made this committment and that she was here now to teach. That she had left all of that shit and heartache well and truly behind her. 

“Lily!”

She glanced across the entrance hall, smiling as she spotted a woman practically gliding towards her. “Oh, it is such a joy to see you again,” Professor McGonagall gasped in all too happy of a manner, “I am thrilled to have you back. I was certain that Albus was playing a cruel game with me when he told me about you taking up a teaching post.” 

The redhead laughed, smiling graciously. “I’m glad to be here. I am, truly. This opportunity couldn’t possibly have come at a better time for me.” Which was the truth. It was hard to hide from a messy divorce around friends. It was even harder when he was constantly around, purposefully so. He couldn’t do that now, which was reassuring for her. Honestly, just being here was comforting. She’d had both her best and some of her worst times here, it was going to be strange making new memories there, but she doubted that she’d be involved in quite as much drama as she had been as a teenager or in recent years. She didn’t need it.  

[jilyesplz]

Saving Seats and Sugar Quills

Some TLAT!Jily fluff from after they get together because I’m currently writing angsty scenes and this is what’s getting me through. Also, because it’s been seven years and We Deserve This.

Inspired by this scene:

On the first Friday of her relationship with James Potter (because that was how she measured time now, apparently. Merlin and Agrippa.) Lily Evans ate breakfast with Sirius, Mary and Pete. James, Donna, and Marlene were at Quidditch practice, and Remus was busy tutoring… someone, though Sirius was too busy shuddering theatrically to explain who.

It was the first meal in six days that she’d eaten without James. She ached like she was missing a limb.

Agrippa.

They finished breakfast quickly and got to Charms early as a result. By unspoken mutual agreement, the four Gryffindors spread across an empty row of five desks, Pete next to Sirius next to open seat for James next to Lily next to Mary. They continued their debate about last night’s Harpies victory against the Cannons (a well-deserved clobbering, said Mary and Sirius; a disgraceful mockery of refereemanship, said Lily and Pete) across the gap.

Their conversation was prematurely interrupted, however, when Roger Diggory appeared and slid into the empty middle seat.

Lily blinked. “Sorry, we were actually saving…”

Roger did not seem to hear her. “So glad I snagged you! These silent Invisibility charms are kicking my arse. You’re going to save my life today, Lily.”

“But…” Lily tried to catch Sirius’s eye—surely telling people where they could and couldn’t sit was much more up his alley than hers?—but he just raised his eyebrows in amusement and turned to chat with Pete.

Of course. Because it was class. In five minutes they wouldn’t be able to talk to each other anyway, so it didn’t matter where they sat…it was pathetic that she was going to miss him.

Realizing she was being horribly rude to Roger, Lily forced a smile and nodded. “Sure, I’d be happy to partner up. The trick to Invisibility charms is just…”

The door opened behind them and Lily’s head whipped around immediately, train of thought stopped in its tracks.

James Potter strode through the door, bag hanging off one shoulder, tie off-kilter, hair wet from a shower and even messier than usual. Lily melted.

Her boyfriend scanned the room, then made a beeline for her the moment their eyes met. When he reached her desk he leaned down, seized her face in his hands, and kissed her hard. Lily’s eyes fluttered closed as their mouths moved together, and her lips seemed to read words from his: Missed you. Want you. Need you, Snaps.

It no longer seemed absurd that she should miss him from across a classroom. Suddenly it was ridiculous to imagine she could do anything else. When his tongue brushed across her bottom lip and she had to hold in a sigh, Lily broke away, flushing much too deeply for 9am Charms.

“Hi,” James murmured, and Lily smiled.

“Hi.” She bent to reach into her satchel and produced a brown paper bag. “Breakfast?”

James groaned aloud, then sat down on her desk. He swung to plant his feet on the edges of Lily’s seat, trapping her between his legs and nudging her thighs with his toes. “I knew you fancied me.”

“Eh. I’m really just in it for your body.” She kissed his knee softly, and he grinned and tucked a lock of red hair behind her ear.

“That excuse would work better if you weren’t fattening me up, Snaps.”

“With this?” She shook the bag. “Cottage cheese and vegan bacon, Love. Why, what were you expecting?”

“Ha.” James pulled the bag from her grip and ripped it open, then groaned with pleasure when the scents of kippers, biscuits, marmalade, and (mercifully non-vegan) bacon hit his nose. He tilted her chin up with two fingers and kissed her again. “You’re God’s gift to mankind.”

Lily smiled. “You don’t believe in God.”

“I believe in kippers.”

“Do you believe in sharing kippers?” Lily reached for the bag, but James caught her hand and trapped it against his thigh.

“Not when you were luxuriously eating breakfast while I ran kipper-less sprints!”

“Not with me, Git. Two of my best mates were out there running kipper-less sprints with you. Because of you.”

“But Shack and Price are small and dainty. I’m a growing boy.”

Lily laughed. “I’m telling Donna you called her small and dainty,” she threatened, and James blanched.

“My body won’t be as fun in multiple pieces.”

“Well, now, that depends on the pieces.”

James swallowed hard. Lily blinked innocently up at her boyfriend, blushing just a little. The effort of hiding her smirk made her cheeks hollow out, auburn eyelashes fluttering as she looked up at him from practically between his legs…

James shook himself. He pulled his legs off her seat and stood up, looking, a little wildly, for something else to focus on. His eyes landed on Flatface.

He rapped on Diggory’s desk with his knuckles. “Oi. Out of my seat.”

“James!” Lily blushed furiously. “Roger, he’s kidding.” Diggory, who had immediately started to pack up his stuff at the Quidditch Captain’s command, paused and looked between them.

“He isn’t,” said James. “Move.”

“I got here first,” said Diggory, emboldened by Lily’s defense. “Find another spot.”

“Where?” James inquired. “’Cause I’d sit with your girlfriend, but I heard Alexa Kyle chucked you for my best mate. Who, incidentally, is to your left, in case you’re still confused about what makes this my seat.”

Diggory’s ears turned red, and Lily glared at her boyfriend. “Ignore him, Roger.”

James shrugged. “Sure, ignore me. I hear the Toadies are overrated anyway…”

“Git!” Lily cried, but Diggory stood up and shuffled away, tail between his legs.

“I love Hufflepuffs.” James slid into the seat Diggory had vacated and grabbed Lily’s desk, yanking it a foot closer to his so he could rest his arm on the back of her chair. She crossed her arms over her chest, but she was not, he noted, annoyed enough to scoot away again.

“You’re never doing that again,” she told him firmly.

“Course not,” he agreed, grinning. “Flatface learned his lesson.”

“To anyone! So mean. You’re Head Boy, not emperor…”

“Snaps, he knew he was taking my seat…” James grabbed her elbow with his free hand, thumb stroking the soft skin.

“Because he needed my help with silent Invisibility Charms!” Lily swatted at his hand, or meant to, but somehow their fingers ended up interlocked.

“I could need your help with silent Invisibility Charms.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Step One: take out cloak. Step Two: put on cloak. Step Three: give Roger his seat back.”

James laughed, and Lily wished she loved the sound just a little less. He settled into a very self-satisfied crooked grin, and the hand on the back of her chair lifted to rub the place where her neck met her shoulder. His thumb dug into the base of her neck, finding a knot and working it out.

Lily’s head rolled back, eyelids fluttering, and she couldn’t hide a tiny little moan that immediately reminded James of last night. “Still want me to leave?” he murmured.

Lily bit her lip, trying to muster the last of her willpower, then sighed and slumped into his arm. “I might as well get ‘Property of James Potter’ stamped across the front of my robes.”

“Would you? That’s so hot…”

“Git.” Lily grabbed his tie and tugged him in for a kiss. “I missed you.”

“Mmm…” He hummed against her lips, one hand finding her thigh and the other tangling in her hair. “Quidditch is stupid. Quitting tomorrow. Shack can be captain…”

“She’d be a significant improvement in the generosity of spirit department,” said Sirius loudly, and both Head students whipped around to see him watching them with a very self-satisfied smirk.

“Have you been staring at us this whole time?” James asked. His best mate’s smirk widened.

“Oh God, you wanted James to kick Roger out,” Lily realized. “That’s why you let him sit there, you weirdo…”

Sirius grinned. “This,” he declared, indicating both of them with a regal wave, “Is seventy-five percent my doing. Am I not entitled to enjoy the fruits of my labour?”

The Head Students shot him identical glares, but Sirius just smirked and took a bite of a Sugar Quill. Lily sighed and reached a hand across James’s desk, palm up. “You could at least share your candy with the zoo animals.”

Flitwick clapped tiny hands together to summon their attention, so Lily never did find out what had made both boys smile.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

hey could you do a marauders headcanon where the reader broke up w them because she feels like she’s not good enough? a little angst (they can find out the reason or not, that’s on you) thank u!!

I tried not to make them all the same so of course some happy endings and some not so happy endings. And sorry I meant to post this yesterday but I fell asleep lmfao 😂 

Also I like, played around with the idea a little and put insecurity on the boys too, I don’t know why, it just happened I guess, sorry. 

These are so long, I got carried away I’m so so so sorry

———

Remus Lupin-

- Remus deserves the world, he always looked out for everyone, he protected everyone even though he didn’t have too, he always knew how to make you or the boys feel better, the list went on

- Of course you believed you’d never be good enough

- You were just you and he was... well he was Remus Lupin

- You didn’t tell him why you broke up with him

- You just said you thought it would be better if you did

- Remus was heartbroken

- He knew he loved you and in his mind, he would never be good enough for you

- Finding you was something Remus never could’ve prepared for and he definitely didn’t want it to end just like that

- He’d ask you to stay, beg you to give him a second chance and it just furthered your thinking of not being enough

- He shouldn’t beg for someone like you

- You and Remus had been broken up for almost week

- You were both miserable and all you wanted to do was just be with each other but it wouldn’t happen

- You were sat in the quidditch stands one day, just admiring the view when James, Sirius and Peter all showed up

- It didn’t take a genius to know what was going on

- We just wanted to talk about it, Y/N

- Remus was no where to be seen, so you told them everything

- I’m not good enough for him! He deserves someone as amazing as him.

- When the boys finally left you alone, you started crying

- But listen, you didn’t cry alone for long because soon Remus came running in

- The boys totally told them what you had said

- He was shocked you’d ever think you weren’t enough

- So now that he was here and you were here, both sobbing messes, there was no denying the truth

- Remus would immediately shut down any and every thought in your head about not being enough

- You are good enough for me! You’re more than good enough!

- He would tell you every good thing he loves about you and every reason why you are more than enough for him

- Remus only stopped when you kissed him, promising that you’d believe him eventually

- And Remus promised he’d do whatever he could to make you see the truth

James Potter-

- James Potter, Hogwarts Golden Boy

- You didn’t have any right to be dating him and you knew it

- He deserved someone like Lily Evans, someone who could be good for him

- He had no idea you were going to break up with him, it just came suddenly in his eyes

- He hadn’t seen the weeks you spent questioning whether James would be happier with anyone else

- You’re breaking up with me? Why are you doing that?

- You didn’t tell him the truth, obviously

- Instead you lied

- I just don’t love you the same anymore

- James didn’t believe you, he loved you more than you knew

- He watched you walk away without crying, unknown to how you cried the moment you were far enough away

- James cried too that night in his room

- He hoped the next day you’d come to your senses or something, but that wasn’t the case

- You didn’t even look at him

- James tried to get your attention so many times, but you pretended as if the last months of saying “I love you” meant nothing

- It was breaking him as much as it was breaking you

- You didn’t tell anyone the truth, no one knew you broke up with James because you didn’t believe you were good enough

- Remus, Sirius and Peter tried to get it out of you, but you just told them the same thing you told James

- You fell out of love

- You and James didn’t talk for a month, James thought you were avoiding him but really was just that it hurt too much

- You were still in love with him, you just believed James could do better

- And apparently he did

- You walked into the common room with Remus, both of you talking about your latest charms class before you walked in on James and Lily kissing on the couch

- It hurt

- It really fucking hurt

- But he deserved her, he deserved better

- You finally had that first chat again

- I’m happy for you, James

- Y/N

- She’s good for you, more than I was

- James wanted to disagree with you

- He was still in love with you and he knew that wasn’t fair for Lily, but it was the truth

Sirius Black-

- How you started dating Sirius, you didn’t know

- Before he was dating you he was a flirt, he had flirted with girls and boys alike and yet somehow you were the one he’s dating

- You had no clue why

- There were others who were so much prettier, smarter, and funnier than you

- You couldn’t help but believe Sirius should’ve been with someone popular 

- You actually brought it up to Sirius one time in the beginning of your relationship

- You had heard some girls whispering about your own relationship, but most importantly how Sirius was “settling” 

- That wasn’t something you want to hear

- Sirius assured you he wasn’t settling and you believed him

- for a while

- but as you watched everyone flirt with him day after day, you could help but come to the conclusion you were holding him back and if you weren’t in a relationship then he could get with someone better for him

- So like the dumb fool you were thinking as, you broke up with him

- Sirius, I’m not good enough for you. You shouldn’t have to be in a relationship with someone like me.

- Sirius shut that thinking down right then

- Someone like you? You mean someone who’s always been there for me through anything with my family? Or who at the end of the day can make me happy again just by smiling? 

- You started crying, not because you were upset but hearing Sirius say all those things about you and more made you really emotional

- Sirius knew you were crying and he sat there wiping away your tears, but he didn’t stop assuring you he loved you and never wanted you to ever think you weren’t good enough

- If you ever heard another person talk about you and Sirius you ignored it, Sirius’ words running through your mind over and over

~Headcanon Master~

Permanent: @literal-fand0m-trash @just4muggles @nathaliabakes @colored-confetti @wiseeggspickleslime @btsiguess-kpop @galacticstxrdust @independentgirl @hollymac79 @delicately-important-trash @emcchi @rauwz @herondalescecilys @chewymoustachio @smilexcaptainx @faith-quake @clarkesplaylist @johnmurphyisbisexual

Harry Potter: @accio-rogers @songforhema @hahaboop @paigeyisme @missmulti @daddyloonglegss @ellie-emb @angelinathebook @marauderswhisperer @emmaloo21 @obsessedwithrandomthings @jackryanplz @dreamer821

Marauders: @onthebroadway @fanficflaneuse @mysterioustruffle @siriuslysirius1107 @rexorangecouny @caffeineaddictedravenclaw

Remus: @serenefreakgeek @screennamealreadyused

[matrixaffiliate]

Surreptitious

New Story! FFN and AO3

Lily doesn't think it will be that hard to hide she's been dating James for two years, and friends with him for five, but when she and James end up working together as temps every day, she finds out how intertwined with her boyfriend she really is. 

@thisismegz shared this Tumblr post with me (thank you, darling!) from @women-inthe-sequel and it felt so very Jily =) So obviously, I had to write it for Jilytober! Enjoy!

Surreptitious

Lily chucked her bag down on the table in a rage. The fact that the order had been misdelivered was not her fault, but that didn't change she'd been thrown under the bus and blamed for it, not that this wasn't the first time she'd been framed for something that went wrong. It also didn't change that she'd been fired over it either.

Her phone buzzed and she sighed as she saw James' picture on her phone.

"Feel like cheering me up?"

"Always," James laughed. "What can I do for you today, Evans?"

"Slowly pull out the bowels of Rosier and Yaxley with a white-hot hook?" Lily fell down onto her bed and kicked off her shoes.

"Vicious," James' chuckle was throaty and Lily wished he was with her where she could feel it rumble through his chest.

"Well, they managed to finally get me fired, so it feels justified at the moment."

"They what?!" All laughter and teasing had gone out of his voice.

"They blamed another misdelivery on me, and I found out they'd been filing complaints against me that I didn't know about, and I swear that Riddle was in on it with them because he showed me documents stating that he'd notified me of those complaints and strikes against me, but I know he didn't." Lily took a deep breath to try and calm down, "None of that matters now though, they got me out and that was what they wanted. They won."

"No!" James almost shouted. "I'll talk to Dad, I'm sure his solicitor will take your case! We'll sue them for everything they own!"

Lily smiled, knowing James was on her side always made her feel better.

"No, they aren't worth it. I'll report them, sure, but I'm not going to sue them over it."

"Lils, look," he went to say more, but Lily cut him off.

"No, James. I'm not going to waste my mental energy on them anymore. I'm going to take a day to calm down and then I'm going to get on to trying to find a new job."

James let out a long breath. "Love, I know you don't want to waste the mental energy on them, but wrong is wrong. Would you let me just mention it to Dad?"

Lily rolled to her side and shifted her phone, "I guess that would be fine, but I'm not personally taking them to small claims, alright?"

"Right," James sounded relieved. "I promise you won't be involved at all."

"Thanks, darling," Lily felt her stomach grumble and she groaned. "Needing a new job aside, I need to find something to eat."

"I'll call Mum, I'm sure she'll be happy to cheer you up with food."

Lily's stomach grumbled again, "Are you sure that she wouldn't mind cooking for us?"

James laughed, "Lils, my dear mother always tells me I'm not home often enough, and then immediately asks when I'm going to settle down and give her grandchildren."

Lily grinned, "See she never says anything about you settling down to me."

"Yes, because she wants to keep you around. Trust me, if she didn't like you, she'd be doing everything in her power to push you to marry me tomorrow." James paused, "So am I calling Mum or not?"

Lily pushed up off her bed. "Yeah, call your parents and ask if she'd make me some daal makhani to drown my sorrows in."

"You can count on it," James' smile was evident in his voice as they disconnected the call, and Lily internally admitted that she was looking forward to seeing it after the nightmare of a day she'd endured.

So, when Lily pulled up to the Potters' large home thirty minutes later, she couldn't stop the excitement bubbling in her chest, and even with the awful day, she smiled as she pushed open their front door.

"James?"

"You're here!" James came nearly running around the corner into the entryway, sweeping her into a tight embrace.

Lily took in a deep breath as she held him close. The smell of James mixed with the smells coming from Mia's kitchen were pulling all of the stress out of her and replacing it with warmth and happiness.

"Come eat while it's still hot!" Mia called from the kitchen.

Lily laughed and kicked off her shoes before taking James' hand to walk into the kitchen.

"Laadli," Mia hugged her, "Eat up, and there are jalebis too. A little sugar will make everything better."

"Thank you, Mia," Lily held on to this wonderful woman who had stepped in when her mum had passed on.

The family dinner was exactly what she needed. Lily finally felt calm, and while she still didn't know what she was going to do about a new job, she at least felt like life was going to get better, for no other reason than she was surrounded by these wonderful people.

"James," Monty handed him his plate as James cleared the table. "The new client at the agency finalized their paperwork for their trial run."

"You're taking on another company at the temp agency?" Lily asked.

James nodded, "Yep, which means 90 days of me pretending I'm not a part-owner."

Lily laughed. After they'd finished university, Monty brought James and Sirius on to the temp agency he started decades ago, but part of the deal was they would be guinea pigs to each new client to be sure the real temps would be treated well. Since they'd just signed a company a month ago and Sirius was currently being their guinea pig, James would need to take this new one.

"What does this company do?" Mia picked up her glass and drained it before handing it to Lily as she helped James clear the table.

"They're a paint manufacturer," Monty said, "But they want the temps for their customer service department."

"You told them they'd only get one, right Dad?" James looked over from the kitchen sink.

"I did," Monty nodded, "they asked me to try my best to get them two."

Mia looked at Lily for a moment and then smiled. "You should be the second temp!"

It took Lily a full ten seconds to realize what Mia was implying, but James beat her to a response as he shut off the water.

"No, Mum, Lily's an industrial engineer who deserves to find a job that will actually utilize her and not pin her to arranging low-level deliveries. She doesn't need to be working customer service while I evaluate this client."

"And why not, chotu?" Mia turned on him. "This way she gets a paycheck while she looks for something new and when she does find it, she can leave; no one expects a temp to stay forever."

"Mum," James' hand went straight for his hair.

"Mia, that's really sweet of you," Lily cut in but then Mia turned her mom-eyes on her.

"Laadli," she cupped Lily's face in her hands, "This will be good for you, give you something to think about other than that awful place that didn't appreciate your work. And you'd be with James so you'd have fun. Learn from an old woman, Lily, have more fun in your life."

Looking into Mia's wise umber eyes and feeling her small warm palms on her cheeks, Lily felt almost like she was under a magic spell.

"Well, if Monty thinks it's alright."

Mia held her eyes and kept her face in her hands. "Of course, it's alright, Monty will see to it."

A part of Lily's brain was sure that Mia was exercising some force of will over her, but there was something so comforting about it that she decided to ignore how much this felt like a magic spell.

"Then, I think it'd be fine. It'd give me time to find a position that I really like instead of settling for the first thing that pops up."

"There, see," Mia pulled her hands away from Lily's face with a smile, "We can always find blessings in disguise if we're willing to look for them."

"Lils," James stepped between her and his mum. "If you want to do this, we can make it happen, but don't feel pressured into it. You don't have to."

Mia tsked loudly behind him.

Lily gave him a small smile. "If you're alright with it, then it would really help me out."

James' returning smile lit up his face. "Eh, I guess I can handle it. At least I'll have someone to talk to, yeah?"

"And I suppose I could handle having to talk to you every day." She smirked up at him.

"Well then, that's settled." Monty chuckled, "James, I'll put you in charge of the paperwork and arrangements for all of this."

James shot his dad a grin, "I'll have it all settled by tomorrow evening. You're looking at the two newest temps for Royal Paint."

It wasn't a week later that Lily was pulling up to her new place of work - at least until she could find a new position in her field if expertise.

She saw James step out of his car and she waved him over. There was one thing that she wanted to clarify with him before they started this.

"Morning Evans," James moved to kiss her but she put her hand on his chest and stopped him.

"Does this place know you're one of the owners of the temp agency?"

James shook his head, "No, everything Sirius and I do is on the back end except for this, so no one knows we aren't real temps when we show up."

Lily nodded, "Alright, in that case, I think it would be a good idea for us not to broadcast our relationship while we're here for these three months."

"Really?"

"I don't want to cause any drama, and Sirius isn't available to switch with you if they have a problem with us being together. I think it would make everything easier and safer if we kept our relationship between us."

James sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Please, James," Lily smiled up at him. "I promise when we aren't here, I'll be the best girlfriend in the world."

James laughed down at her and laced his fingers with hers. "You already are but if it'll make you happy, then sure, while we're working with this client, we're just two temps, not a couple."

"Thank you," Lily looked around the parking lot and upon finding it empty, quickly pressed up and kissed him. "I suppose we should get this show on the road then, eh?"

"Yeah," James stole one more kiss, "We don't want to be late on our first day."

Lily and James walked into the grey cement brick building and were welcomed by the receptionist.

"Hi, I'm Amy, you must be our new temps."

"That's us," James nodded and Lily forced her down chuckle as she watched James start scanning the office. He may be wearing the badge of temp for the next three months, but James would never be able to stop being the shrewd businessman that helped his dad's company thrive.

"Just a minute and I'll fetch Scott, he's our manager." She clicked a couple of times on her computer before grabbing her desk phone. "Scott, they're here." She set the phone down and turned back to Lily and James with a happy smile.

"He'll be right out."

Not a moment later a man came walking around the corner.

"Welcome! Welcome to your new home away from home! Welcome to Royal Paint!"

"Thank you," James stepped forward and shook Scott's hand. "I'm James Potter."

"And I'm Lily Evans," Lily stepped forward as she watched James turn to introduce her. That was her first hint that hiding their relationship was going to be harder than she initially thought.

"James and Lily!" Scott shook her hand. "I can't wait to get to know you. I'm Scott and I hope you'll view me as your mentor and friend while you're here."

Lily nearly balked at the difference between Scott and Riddle. At least Scott didn't seem to be out to fire her from the get-go.

"Thank you," she pulled her bag higher up on her shoulder and smiled up at James.

"Look at you two," Scott stepped back and looked at the two of them, "You look like you could be on the cover of one of my wife's romance books. Don't you think so, Amy?" He turned to the receptionist.

Amy laughed, "You're a hopeless romantic, Scott."

"And I'm usually right about this sort of thing."

Lily felt something akin to panic gripping her stomach. "I'm sure that Mr. Potter and I can keep things professional."

James covered his laugh with a forced clearing of his throat and Lily fought the urge to glare at him.

"Don't be ridiculous," Scott laughed. "Royal Paint was started by a husband and wife team. We have no policy against workplace relationships. But let's get the two of you settled in and then you can get to know one another before you make decisions about first dates and whatnot."

He turned and led them down the corridor.

"Mr. Potter?" James whispered as he smirked down at her.

"I panicked!" Lily glared at him.

Before James could comment further, Scott had led them into the next room.

"This will be your launching pad!" Then he gestured to the two women sitting at desks that faced each other. "And these lovelies are the crew that will take you into the stars! Gladys and Arabella, this is James Potter, and here is Lily Evans. James, Lily, this is Gladys Vance and Arabella Figg."

The women smiled at them but before either could say anything, Scott had moved to the single desk to the left of Gladys and Arabella's workstations.

"This is where the two of you will be set up. I'm sorry but we couldn't get a second desk in here soon enough. You'll only need to share for a wee bit, but we'll get you your own desks in a jiffy. The two computers seem to fit alright, though, so shouldn't be a problem. Let's get you logged into those computers and Gladys and Arabella will train you up on what you need to do."

"Scott, slow down, you're spinning like a top." Gladys chuckled. "We'll take care of these two, you go do the manager things you do."

"Off you go," Arabella stood and made a shooing motion with her hands.

"I'll leave you in their capable hands then," Scott bowed awkwardly. "And if you need anything at all just step right into my office. My door is always open."

"Thank you, Scott." James chuckled.

Arabella shooed Scott again and he saluted before stepping out of the room.

"Well, you survived our fearless leader," Arabella chuckled. "We run things a bit more down to earth here in customer service."

"He's very enthusiastic, isn't he?" Lily laughed.

"Don't you two look cute standing like that?" Gladys smiled at them.

Lily looked over and realized she and James had gravitated towards each other, standing so close they were nearly touching.

"Oh, sorry," she stepped away from James, "I didn't mean to crowd you."

James' hand shot to his hair, "No problem, barely noticed."

Gladys and Arabella shared a long look but didn't say anything more. They helped James and Lily get logged into their computers and showed them how to respond to online inquiries from the website and how to find the answers. The job was so simple that by lunch Lily felt not only like she knew what she was doing, but that she'd been doing it for ages.

"Did the two of you bring lunch?" Gladys came to stand at their desk. "Because either way, Arabella and I are taking you out."

Lily laughed, "I brought a can of soup, but I have a hunch it'll keep till tomorrow."

"Are you sure about that?" James laughed, "Storing things in metal, who knows what could happen."

Lily laughed in spite of herself but stopped just before she went to playfully shove him.

"You two are cute," Arabella grinned at them. "Did either of you ever watch the American version of The Office? You two could be Jim and Pam."

"Oh, yes!" Glady exclaimed, "Lily's got red hair like Pam, and James instead of Jim!"

Lily looked at James and laughed, "I don't suppose you want to be called Jim?"

James rolled his eyes, "Do you know I threaten my brother with roasting him over a low fire for it?"

Lily grinned, she did know. "Oh, but it could be fun, couldn't it?"

James adjusted his glasses and leant across the desk, "Depends on your definition of the word fun, Lilian."

"Do you know that isn't my name?" Lily rolled her eyes. He did know.

"And now you know that Jim isn't mine," James countered with a smirk.

"I like them better than Jim and Pam," Arabella's voice brought Lily back to the present and she silently kicked herself for slipping into the banter she and James had built their relationship on.

Trying to avoid the habits that had formed from two years of dating plus another three years of friendship before that might just prove impossible.

And that premonition proved to be exactly right. She couldn't stop herself from the unconscious part of her brain that reached across their desk to touch his hand or his thigh. She could never keep herself from standing directly next to him. And she definitely couldn't stop the way her eyes would seek him out naturally. It was just so much a part of her to be connected to James.

How did she ever think she could hide this?

"Hey," she whispered across the desk three weeks after they'd started with Royal Paint. "I have to take my car in to have it serviced tonight, can you give me a ride tomorrow?"

"Of course, do you need a ride back from the service station too?" James nodded.

"I was going to request an Uber but if you want, we can make a night of it."

"Sure," James grinned at her. "We could make something at yours and watch a film or something."

"Sounds perfect," Lily moved to grab his hand but caught herself, opting to take a sticky note from the stack instead.

"How is the job hunt going?" James smirked at her.

Lily rolled her eyes at his smirk even as she grinned at him.

"I had a firm call for an interview and my references."

"That's amazing!" James' whisper went loud and Lily giggled.

"Riveting conversation over there dears?" Gladys smiled over at them.

"Just wondering when you're going to invite The Pips over and finally admit that your last name is really Knight." James smiled over at Gladys and Arabella.

Lily trained her gaze back on her computer and the mind-numbing work of answering customer questions.

"I'll be at yours at half six to go drop your car," James whispered and knocked her foot with his.

She looked up to see that smile that still made her stomach flutter.

"Thanks."

But James bringing her to work the next morning ended up being more of a to-do than Lily had expected it to be.

"Well, hello there!" Arabella stepped out of her car as Lily and James stepped out of his.

"Hi Arabella," Lily tried not to groan.

"Is your car alright dear?" Arabella looked as pleased as one of her cats might look had it caught a mouse.

"It just needed to be serviced. James was nice enough to bring me to work this morning."

Arabella nodded understandingly but her smile seemed to grow wider. "What a nice thing to do."

"What was a nice thing to do?" Scott walked up behind Arabella and Lily thought she might die.

"Lily's car needed to be serviced and James was kind enough to bring her to work today."

"A proper gentleman," Scott walked up and patted James on the back. "Well done, my boy!"

"Lily ought to take him to lunch to thank him," Arabella looked at Scott, "Don't you agree? They've proven they're hard workers, I think they could do with a long lunch today."

"Capital idea, Arabella! Yes!" He turned to James and Lily, "I agree, take a long lunch the both of you!"

Lily looked at James who was putting a great deal of effort into not laughing.

"Alright, then," Lily looked at Scott and Arabella helplessly.

Clearly, she'd need to rethink her original plan of hiding their relationship, seeing as everyone wanted them to have one.

"This whole thing has gone pear-shaped!" Lily huffed as she got into James' car for their enforced lunch date.

"Hey," James leant over and pulled her in for a slow kiss. "It'll be fine." He smiled as he pulled away. "You're going to go to your interview next week and they're going to wonder how they've ever managed without you. Then they'll hire you, and you'll be working for an amazing firm before you know it."

Lily kissed him again and let the warmth that had always been James ease some of the stress away.

"You know," James put the car in gear. "We could play this to our advantage."

"Play what to our advantage?" Lily fiddled with the radio.

"We could be the new office romance." James knocked her hand away from the radio as she tried to skip over a song he liked that she didn't.

"The new office romance?"

"Sure," James slapped her hand away again. "We could stop trying to hide the way that we're practically an old married couple, to quote my mum, and just be us."

"You're mum calls us an old married couple?" Lily laughed.

"Of course, she does."

"Why, of course?"

"Because she's my mum," James shrugged.

Lily grinned as the idea started to form in her mind. "We could sneak around like we did our last week of university."

James looked over at her with a smirk. "That poor custodian, I'm pretty sure we nearly gave him a heart attack."

Lily giggled, "I think you're right; this could be fun."

"Yes, and then I can stop smacking myself every time I go to touch you as well." James reached over and grabbed her hand.

"I know right? It's like I'm in love with you or something." She teased.

James parked in front of the restaurant and leant over to kiss her again. "That makes one of us, then."

Lily smacked his chest and pulled away but James caught her around the neck and kissed her passionately.

"I love you," he murmured as he slowed their pace.

"You better," Lily laughed and pulled back. "So, we're doing this? We're going to be Royal Paint's new office romance?"

"Yeah, let's have a bit of fun."

And they did. Lily didn't stop herself from making faces at him across their desk when she got bored. She didn't stop herself from asking James about their plans for the weekend. She didn't stop herself from walking out of the office with him after work. She didn't panic when Gladys mentioned how sweet it was that she was hitting it off so well with James. When Scott stepped in to tell them he'd managed to secure another desk for them if they wanted it, she agreed with James' insistence that they didn't need it.

The one thing Lily did still stop herself from bringing up at work when they were around their coworkers was her efforts to find a real job, and how things were going for James in his real job. Just because he was playing temp didn't mean he didn't still have his real job and everything that went with helping his dad run the temp agency.

She was trying to discreetly check her email on her phone to see if the company that had interviewed her and called all three of her references had made a decision on hiring her yet or not when she was spooked by James swearing under his breath.

Lily glanced quickly over at Arabella and Gladys before whispering to James.

"What's wrong?"

"There's a problem at the office. One of our temps went rogue." James' hands went to his hair before they immediately dropped to his phone to type.

"Is it going to be alright?" Lily leant closer.

"If Sirius and I get there in the next hour then probably." He looked up at her. "I've got to go. Do you want me to make something up for you to get Scott to let you out early too?"

Lily shook her head. "I don't want to make him suspicious of why you're leaving and then not let you go. I'll stay and finish the workday."

James grabbed his backpack and threw it over his shoulder before coming around the desk to kiss her. "Thank you, I'll text you once this is resolved."

Lily kissed him once more before he slipped out the door.

"They're already kissing goodbye," Arabella commented with a grin.

"They're meant to be," Gladys laughed, "Where is your prince off to?"

Lily rolled her eyes at them, "His brother needs him, he's going to see if Scott will let him out early."

"Oh, Scott is a pushover for that sort of thing. He probably would have let you go too if you'd asked." Arabella pulled a cat hair off her jumper.

"I wouldn't have been much help," Lily shrugged.

"So, how's having a new boyfriend been?" Gladys pulled her coffee cup to her lips and smirked at Lily.

"I'm rather enjoying it," Lily laughed and turned from her computer. It was becoming apparent that the two wanted to talk more than they wanted to work right now, probably because James wasn't there.

"I can imagine," Arabella winked at her. "Have you spent much time together over the last month and a half?"

"I guess we have," Lily tried to think of what sort of pace a regular couple would take, a couple that didn't have the history she and James had.

They'd been at odds in their first year of university, but when everything had happened with Severus and the Marauders at the end of first year, well, Lily realized that she'd been dead wrong about who her friends were. Thankfully, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were more than happy to put that year behind them and welcome her into their friendship. She and James had been friends for the last three years of their time at university; his parents were who she relied on when her mum passed away, joining her dad on the other side and leaving her with just Petunia and Vernon for living family members; James introduced her to Marlene and Emmeline and Mary and Bridget; the Marauders and everyone attached to them had become her family.

It was the last day of exams their final year at university that James had found her alone and somehow the two of them had finally stopped dancing around their feelings for one another and snogged the daylights out of each other.

They'd been inseparable for the last two years.

But how did one act like they hadn't been in love with the man they were with for years?

"You look unsure? Is everything alright?" Arabella frowned at her and Lily silently cursed herself for not having better control over her emotions playing out over her face.

"Oh, er, yes, I just, I, er, I'm waiting on an email." Lily reasoned she was a temp; she probably didn't need to hide that she was looking for something permanent; it was just James' position that she needed to keep to herself.

"A good email or a bad one?"

"I suppose I'm hoping it's a good one, but it could be a bad one."

Gladys narrowed her gaze. "Lily, what sort of email is this?"

"The sort of email that could get me a position with an engineering firm," Lily watched the two women carefully and sighed in relief when they both cried out exuberantly.

"That's wonderful," Arabella laughed, "but won't you miss working with James?"

"I'll miss it," Lily nodded because truthfully, she would miss it.

Working with James this way had been exactly what she needed after the fiasco at her last position. It had been healing to be with him day in and day out. It had made her realize how much she needed him, how much she relied on him.

"Well, most people don't work with their partners; you'd be joining the ranks of the rest of us." Gladys chuckled. "I love my husband, but I wouldn't work with him for all the money in the world. We weren't meant to be business partners."

"Amen, to that," Arabella rolled her eyes.

It was a couple of hours later that James texted her that he and Sirius had sorted out whatever had happened with the rogue temp. He followed that text up with the sort of response that helped Lily see why Mia called them an old married couple.

James: Meet me at mine, I'm bringing dinner.

Lily smiled down at her phone and then jumped when Gladys' voice spooked her.

"Email or boyfriend?"

"Boyfriend," Lily chuckled. "He managed to sort out whatever was happening with his brother."

"And…"

"We're having dinner tonight," Lily looked up at the clock and sighed; it was still an hour before she could leave.

Gladys looked over at Arabella and something passed between the two.

"Pack up your things, deary, Arabella and I are going to bully Scott into letting you leave early."

"No, that's alright," Lily shook her head, "I can wait."

Arabella laughed, "No isn't an option I'm afraid. We're rather fond of you and James there, so I think we're going to get our way and get you on your way."

"Really, it's fine," Lily protested again.

"Oh stop with the propriety and have a little fun, Lily." Gladys stood up. "Let's get you off to that boy of yours."

What could she do? It was as if these two were in cahoots with Mia. Lily packed up her things and tried to hide behind her two bullies as they approached Scott's office.

"Scott, dear Scott," Gladys stuck her head in Scott's office.

Scott looked up and laughed, "Oh dear, the both of you, what am I giving in to today?"

"What a dear he is," Gladys grinned at Arabella before turning back to Scott. "You're going to tell this sweet child to get herself off to her new boyfriend right now."

Scott glanced back at Lily and winked at her.

"I suppose you'll let the entire office know how hard it was to wear me down?"

"Of course," Arabella nodded. "We had to make a fuss about what a wonderful employee she's been these six weeks."

"And we had to point out that it has been slow all day and that it definitely won't pick up to where Arabella and I can't handle in the next hour," Gladys added.

"And don't forget how we're all invested in Lily and James," Scott added absently as he looked at an email on his computer.

"Oh yes, that too," Arabella laughed.

Scott looked back up and blinked, "Lily? Why are you still here?"

Lily shook her head and smiled, "I'm on my way out."

"Give my best to James," Scott called out to her as she walked out the door and to her car.

Lily texted James that she had been forced out early and then drove to his flat. For a moment she thought she saw Monty and Mia in their car on her way, but she was past them before she had a chance to do a double-take.

Walking up to James' flat felt like home. The knowledge that he'd be on the other side of the door when she opened it wrapped her in a blanket of comforting domesticity. Lily wondered if maybe she should forgo renewing her lease when it was up in a couple of months.

She pushed open the door but stopped dead in the doorway.

The lights were turned off, but there were battery votives on the floor making a pathway towards the kitchen.

"James…?"

He didn't answer and Lily resisted the urge in her to turn on the lights. She blamed it on Gladys' and Arabella's and Mia's insistence that she have a little fun. Instead, Lily kicked off her shoes and set down her bag to follow the flickering lights guiding her further into the flat.

Every light was off and the curtains pulled tight over the windows, making the floor look like it was glowing with the little votive lights lined against it. Lily stepped into the kitchen and paused. The lights led to a chair, sitting dead center on the kitchen floor.

"I am not doing a seance with you, Potter," Lily looked around. She nearly screamed when her phone vibrated and sounded in her pocket.

James: Please just sit down Evans

It was followed by at least twenty eye-roll emojis.

Lily rolled her eyes and texted back.

Lily: Fine, but I will kill you if this is some sort of prank…

She included five devil emojis before hitting send and cautiously sitting down in the chair.

"Now what?" Lily called out and looked around.

James stepped quietly into the kitchen and grinned at her.

"You always suspect me," he leant against the doorway, his hand running through his hair.

Lily forced her eyes back to his face. "You've given me plenty of reasons to do so."

James laughed, "You know, I've been thinking about how nice it's been to see you every day, but now I'm wondering what I was thinking."

She rolled her eyes but laughed with him.

"I was actually thinking the same thing after you left today."

James' smile went soft and he moved slowly, purposefully towards her.

"Good," his voice was that low rumble that made Lily want to pull him flush against her.

Then James came to kneel in front of her and Lily suddenly couldn't breathe.

"What do you think we make sure we see each other every day, even after we finish our stint with Royal Paint?"

"James," she laughed, but it came out a breathless sound.

"Lils, will you marry me?" He slid a ring out of his pocket and held it out to her.

"Of course!" Lily couldn't stop laughing, even as James pressed up to kiss her, lifting her from the chair and lifting her feet off the floor.

"We should turn on the lights," James laughed with her.

"Why?" Lily finally started to get a hold of her laughter and was trying to move their kissing a little further forward.

"Mum and Dad should be here any minute. Dad's parents took him and mum out to dinner when he asked her to marry him. I told them we could do dinner, but that I wasn't asking you at a restaurant."

"Oh! I saw them on my way over!" Lily laughed. "Well, I guess we can keep this going when we get back."

James hummed as he kissed her again, "And we can talk about what we're going to do with this darn temp job."

Lily's phone buzzed in her back pocket and she jumped when James reached into her pocket and pulled it free to hand to her.

"I don't think we'll have to worry about it," Lily grinned down at her phone as she looked at the screen.

"Yeah?" James looked down at her phone.

"I got the position!" Lily laughed. "I'm engaged and I got my dream job on the same day!"

"Well," James kissed her, "While we're discussing good news, I have one more thing to add."

"What?"

"Dad and Sirius and I have been working on a surprise for you; we've managed to get Riddle and his cronies into a world of trouble that I don't think they'll be getting out of anytime soon." James' grin was wicked.

Lily narrowed her gaze, "There was no rouge temp, was there?"

"Sirius and I were the rogue temps, we bailed at work and went to make sure our plan went exactly as we wanted it. I doubt that your old place of employment will still have a license to practice business for much longer."

"I love you," Lily linked her arms around his neck and kissed him.

James pulled back to look down at her, one of his hands coming up to trace along her cheek before tangling in her hair.

"I love you too," and he kissed her.

[blacknailpolishonguitarstrings]

The irony of white lilies

CW: funeral, mention of death, hate of a loved one

Bright golden sun, radiant blue sky, fluffy white clouds, joyful chirping birds, colourful blooming flowers, iridescent dew drops sliding off waxy green leaves, sweet scents of freshly-baked bread and pastries wafting through the fresh morning air… all of it was too much for Remus. It was too pretty, too happy, too good to be true. London was never this beautiful. Of course, the one day where it was had to be the funeral of his three best friends and his relationship with the one person he had loved more than anything else. He looked at himself in the narrow mirror in the hallway: tall, slim, long gangly limbs drowning in a dark brown suit, the only one he owned, which was slightly too large for him, mousy brown hair strands hanging limply over his face and having lost their golden shine, honey brown greenish eyes shadowed by dark rings, and pale, ashy skin stricken with several old silvery scars and a couple of fresh pink ones. The mirror reflected the ghost of a person, a mere shadow of who he was before. In the top right corner of the reflective glass, five words and a name were hastily written in black marker. The letters were perfectly shaped, curved in elegant lines, clear and regular, so very different from Remus’ own scrawny, barely readable handwriting. It was unmistakably Sirius’ handwriting through and through, remnants of his aristocratic past clear as day. And it read:

“I love you, remember me

-Sirius”

It was nothing more than a mere note, a regular thing Sirius did, nothing out of the usual, and yet, it was as if he had known what would happen, as if…

“As if he had planned it all along,” Remus realised. Ragingly, he whipped the glass with his long, frayed sleeve, attempting to erase the message before his eyes, from existence, from his memory, but the letters wouldn’t even smudge. Huffing in frustration, he grabbed his wand, before stomping out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind himself.

“Colloportus,” he whispered sharply, waving at the lock briefly with his hand.

The air around him crackled quietly, buzzing with the magic that escaped the howling wolf inside him, are emotions and uncontrollable feelings ruling over his entire being, brimming with pure power. Remus ran down the stairs, ducking out of the building, and slipped into a nearby foul-smelling alley, shadowed by the silhouettes of the tall houses surrounding it. Hiding behind a dumpster, he Apparated away with a loud crack.

***

The fields surrounding the Potter’s barndominium swayed in the fresh autumn wind, grass blades rustling softly as the last few flowers undulated and bent over under the pressure of harsher gusts of cold air. Not far from him, about 50 meters or so away, a group of people clad in black clothes stood amongst pristine white chairs. An altar of some sort crowned with a plethora of flowers stood proudly above them, a few long ribbons of white silk swaying in the wind over the guests. Ridiculously, it looked almost like the preparations of a wedding ceremony instead of a funeral, full of decorations and extravaganza.

“The entire opposite of what James and Lily would have wanted,” Remus thought, scoffing, before making his way over to the small crowd, striding through the tall yellowy dried out grass.

No one noticed him when he approached the congregation, all too busy talking in hushed whispers amongst themselves or staring at the front towards the flowered altar. Remus recognised a couple of faces here and there, some Professors from Hogwarts, some people he remembered having seen at Fleamont’s and Euphemia’s glorious and colourful Christmas parties, and a few students he had attended Hogwarts with. Order members were stationed in several places, milling around the mourners, stances guarded and wands drawn. Now more than ever, the aftermath of the War hung heavy in the air, looming darkly over everyone’s minds, deemed finished yet never entirely gone. Clenched fists stuffed in his pockets, Remus hung back a little, staying at the back of the crowd, observing everyone carefully and nodding to the occasional acquaintance who caught his eye. Something about the atmosphere felt very off and erroneous, yet he couldn’t quite place his finger upon it thus far. Suddenly, the loud telltale crack of Apparition cut sharply through the muffled conversations, and Dumbledore appeared in the middle of the funeral, exceedingly dramatic. Everything quieted down as he swept the crowd with his bright blue eyes, staring half-pensively half-gravely at everyone behind his half-moon spectacles. Finally, after a few strangely agonisingly long seconds, he turned around swiftly in a swish of robes and walked up to the altar on which lay James and Lily’s lifeless bodies. While Dumbledore waved briefly at the gathered attendance, gesturing for them to sit down on the white wooden chairs, Remus only had eyes for the cadavers of his two best friends, allowing himself to really look for the first time. They laid side by side, dressed in pristine softly shimmering silk white robes as if it were their wedding day, surrounded by wreaths of white lilies. James’ dark caramel skin and black curls and Lily’s auburn hair stood out drastically against the pureness of their milieu. Eyes closed faces relaxed and serene, they almost looked like a pair of coloured porcelain dolls that had been deposited on an elaborate flowerbed. Neither of them seemed dead, on the contrary, it was as if they were plunged in nothing more but deep, tranquil sleep, away from everything, at peace. Unable to bear it any longer, Remus turned away, biting his trembling lip as he watched the grass continue to sway softly. The sickeningly sweet smell of lilies was carried to him by the wind. A small, ironic smile bordering on slightly crazed stretched across his thin lips as his face contorted into a tight, pained grimace.

“Lily hated lilies, especially white lilies,” he thought with morbid amusement.

Behind him, the people had ceased to shuffle around and settled in their chairs. Dumbledore coughed lightly, and Remus glanced back, locking eyes with him. A rush of anger surged inside of him, though he did not know exactly why. The old man must have perceived it somehow, maybe seen the raging flare in his eyes, because after a few seconds, he lowered his eyes, gazing instead at the guests.

“Ladies, gentlemen,” he began, “we are gathered here today to honour James and Lily Potter, who unfortunately and tragically lost their lives far too soon on the grim night that was the 31st of October 1981. Both Lily and James were remarkable people, praised both in magical and emotional domains by many. They were caring and loving people, who brought much new to better the world we live in. I would thus like to go back on some of the deeds James and Lily Potter accomplished in their noble, albeit short lives, to mourn them in a celebration of them rather than in wallowing in sadness, reminiscing what we lost. I knew James and Lily as students under my care at Hogwarts first and foremost, but they revealed to be dear friends as they grew older. I remember the first day…”

The words blurred in Remus’ ears, sounding meaningless and hollow, empty, almost…false, if one would dare to call them as such. They did not appear to hold any real value, and as speaker after speaker would pronounce their own valedictory, Remus doubted more and more whether these people actually knew or cared about James and Lily. All they ever seemed to remember was how good of a witch Lily was considering she was a Muggleborn, how wonderful of a Potioneer she was, how spectacular and outstanding James’ Quidditch skills were, how pleasant of a boy he was even if rather mischievous, and on and on and on. It was incredibly and unexpectedly painful for Remus, to whom Lily and James meant so much more than that, to hear people deliver such vain and barren speeches.

“They deserve better than a listing of their accomplishments, Lily and James deserve better,” he thought ragingly.

All throughout, he noticed Minerva, who sat quietly at the first row, only distinguishable from this far by her telltale pointy black hat, remained quiet. Remus deemed it rather surprising, but paid it no real mind, knowing she must have her reasons. Ever since the war, that peculiar bond they had formed on his very first day when she welcomed him had strengthened, grown into something deeper, maybe a friendship. Minerva McGonagall was probably one of the last few remaining people Remus still trusted. Finally, the tall, thin, balding man whose name Remus had failed to catch finished talking with a mere “We will miss them”, and Dumbledore walked up to the small stage once more.

“Before we bid farewell to our dear friends forever, does anyone else wish to speak?”

After a brief moment of hesitation, Remus walked up to him from the back of the gathering.

“Yes, Professor, there are some things I would like to mention before we let go of James and Lily, some things I believe they would have liked to hear,” he started, nodded faintly.

The gathered witches and wizards watched him expectantly, mistrust painted on the faces of a few at the sight of a skinny, tall, scarred, and shabbily dressed young man.

“Lily Evans hated lilies you know, James learned that the hard way in 5th year when she threw the humongous bouquet he had offered her in an attempt to woo her right at his face. Some said Lily could have been a fine Chaser with such precision of throw. James later learned that the way to Lily’s heart was blush roses. Anyhow, I believe it is time we change…this,” he said gesturing vaguely at the extravagant decorations, a slight moue of disgust forming on his bony face.

Whispering an incantation, he waved his wand briefly in the air and the lilies disappeared in a light poof of sparkles, replaced by creamy white roses with very faint blush pink cores.

“Better isn’t it?” he asked rhetorically, laughing a little to himself at the disbelieving looks painted on some of the elder witches and wizards. “Lily and James were two very special and talented people as you all already mentioned, but to me, they were important in a very different way, I remember them for other reasons which I believe, are just as significant. Lily Evans Potter and James Potter were two of the very first people who made me feel safe and welcomed, who made me feel truly loved, who made me feel at home. I trusted them with my life, and I still would if they were among us. I could spend hours here in front of you, telling you hundreds of stories about them, both sad and happy, about the time James fell off his broom into the Black Lake while attempting to impress Lily with some crazy stunt, about the time Lily was paired up with James in Potions and nearly died of stress and frustration, considering James was practically hopeless at Potions. I could tell you about the time they had a picnic under the stars at the top of the Astronomy Tower and Si…”

Remus choked on the word, feeling his throat tighten around it, refusing to let it go.

“And some friends and I,” he continued, sighing shakily, “found them and scared them into believing there was a ghost haunting them, although it was James who was more afraid if truth be told, Lily was too busy laughing and making fun of him.”

Some people in the audience cracked a faint smile at that.

“What I mean to say is, we can remember Lily and James for the many deeds they accomplished during their lives and for the wonderful stories we have of them. But we could also simply remember them as wonderful people who worked tirelessly to be good and make this world a little brighter, as people who cared for and loved everyone who was in need, as people who always strived to be a better version of themselves. I saw James and Lily as examples of kindness we should all attempt to live up to, and it is how I wish to remember them. I…”

Remus didn’t know what else to say, it felt like he had shared so much already, yet spoken so little of them, and none of the things swirling in his confused mind right now felt right to share with these strangers. It was simply too much, he wasn’t even sure he had already accepted the deaths of his friends, a part of him was still in deep denial, believing hopelessly and foolishly that neither James nor Lily nor Peter were gone, that it was all a terrible nightmare he would wake up soon from. Sirius wasn’t even worth mentioning anymore, he couldn’t think about him. Not today, when his focus should be entirely on Lily and James. From the first row, Remus saw Minerva smile at him gently, tears streaming down her wrinkled cheeks which appeared so pale against the darkness of her robes. He mustered a faint mirthless smile in response, before turning away, tears welling in his eyes. Desperately, he clenched his fists, digging his fingernails into the calloused skin of his palms, trying to distract himself with the sharp pain, doing anything just to forget what was going on around him. He left the stage like that, and walked away from the ceremony, refusing to turn back again, even though he felt a sharp stare drilling holes into his back. Dumbledore probably. Finally, he stopped and willed himself to glance back at least one last time at the lifeless bodies of his friends. At that precise moment, Dumbledore waved his wand, and the flower bed went up in silvery-white crackling flames. Only two white marble caskets remained when they died away. The charred petals of white roses which had burned in the fire softly twirled down on the stone, gentle and dead.

[halothenthehorns]

All in the Family

Chapter 113: Dumbledore's Army

Regulus found himself being slammed into something even harder than a wooden desk, though he hadn't thought that possible, but his ears still rung from the metal clang. When his eyes finally settled, he found himself face first against a locker. He didn't even know Hogwarts had lock- he gasped so loudly Peter looked over at him in concern as he kept rubbing at his own head until Regulus shouted, "we're in the Quidditch locker rooms!"

The captain of his team, Craig Sloper, had let him be a reserve Seeker this year, but so far he'd sat on the benches during practice while the actual Seeker, Aubrey Bertram, shot around perfectly managing to catch the Snitch every time; nobody had bothered letting him even get in the air for practice. They were all fifth year and above, and had shooed him away any time he tried to follow them into the locker rooms, now nobody was going to stop him getting a look around!

He opened the one he'd landed against eagerly to see the scarlet Gryffindor robes with Weasley on the back, though it didn't specify which one. There were three long, low benches and a chalkboard across from that on a wall, separating the two bathrooms, and he promptly took off to investigate those.

"Who gets that bloody excited about a locker room?" Lily asked, starting to wonder if she wasn't the only one getting hit on the head one too many times around here.

"I sure am," Alice said, getting stiffly to her feet once more, and like him making her way eagerly towards a hot shower. Lily followed at once in concern, but Alice's brief little rest seemed to have done her some good, she didn't stumble once over the small step into the girls' section and opened the first stall door without hesitation, so Lily politely turned away and began shucking her own clothes as she investigated the place. Across from the seven shower stalls were another set of stalls for toilets, and the same amount of sinks lining the wall where they'd entered. She got a funny laugh for a moment imagining all seven players and even seven reserve players all being in here at the same time as she turned on her own hot water.

By the time they stepped out they felt like singing, they were actually clean again, even if Lily's charm still had their school robes unsoiled at best. They stopped in surprise though to see Sirius Black and Lupin apparently hadn't joined the amenities yet, but were the only two in there still.

Black had apparently been trying to pace again and muttering something while Lupin held his hand, but the girls barely registered any of it as the two immediately shied away from each other upon seeing them. Then Black gave them a saucy smile and swaggered right up to them. "Evening ladies, sorry I couldn't join you."

Lily groaned in disgust and stalked away, as if she needed another Marauder idiot panting after her, but Alice laughed in surprise, she was absolutely positive he was joking.

Sirius Black seemed delighted at her response, and smiled winningly at Alice, only causing her to laugh harder until someone cleared their throat behind him.

Lily watched Black turn on the spot and glower at Frank once more, his blonde hair looking more brunet as it still clung in a wet plaster to his scalp, hands still itching to cause some kind of violence, even though the odd sight of Frank holding apparently every towel in this place and having to crane his head around the pile just to see was worth a question.

Lupin came up and grabbed the back of his shirt though, hauling him just slightly around Frank like a scolded puppy, and adding to the effect by saying, "come on Padfoot, bath time."*

They walked into the steam-filled room, only to find the others already wrapping up, James literally with a towel as he prodded at his grungy clothes miserably. "I think I'll burn these when we get back, should have grabbed a change of clothes like you did when I had the chance Sirius."

"I can't believe I actually managed a shower before him," Peter was still rubbing a towel in his hair, "when's that ever happened? You two feeling alright?"

The two stayed awkwardly silent, it had been a while since they'd had to realize how perceptive they knew Peter to be, and if he suspected anything.

Sirius stomped off without response, losing an article of clothing shamelessly with each step until he was at the last stall and slamming it closed behind him. Remus plucked uneasily at the hem of his sleeve and avoided eye contact. He'd never liked changing clothes in front of his friends even though they knew about the scars now, and especially with Regulus still in here, his long hair still dripping water onto his clothes.

Peter and Regulus thankfully left in the awkward silence regardless, Regulus had agreed with the other two when they'd decided against going out to see what the holdup of Sirius and Lupin following in was considering he'd almost been caught in the future again and he probably hadn't wanted to show to anyone he was worried about it. James still wanted to check on him, but now honestly worried he'd just get brushed off again, but wanting to check on him somehow, he lowered his voice as the water squeaked on and the steam doubled. "Is everything alright with him?"

James hated he was having to ask someone else that, he was usually the leading expert on Sirius, but Padfoot wasn't talking to him?!

"Not really," Remus whispered, ruined slightly by cringing away from even Prongs, it only just occurred to him why James looked so defeated at having to ask this. Sirius had been avoiding him a bit lately, and he leaned closer to try and vaguely explain this instead. "He's, had a lot on his mind lately, you know that, and well, he's trying to find a new way to cope with it."

He was really hoping the room was actually as hot as his face was at the end.

James seemed to find this a reasonable enough answer at least, but still gave one last dejected look to the seventh stall before finally changing into his grungy clothes, but just tucking his glasses into his pocket as he left. They weren't doing any good in this steamed room.

Remus slowly peeled off one layer at a time, down to his boxers, and dithered if he should do what his mind prompted him to. They could be back any minute...nope. He definitely wasn't.

He couldn't make himself turn on the shower yet though, and instead found himself just leaning against the door Sirius had hid himself behind and tapping his bare feet impatiently. Finally, after starting and stopping several times in his head, he simply asked, "Would hitting him have really made you feel better?"

"Yes," Sirius instantly replied.

"Really?" He stressed the word, trying his hardest to keep the accusation out of his tone. "Think about the last two times you did something without thinking first Sirius, has that actually made anything better?"

He couldn't actually see Sirius, but he'd swear he could actually feel him twitch uncomfortably.

"Look, I'm not happy with Longbottom either," he continued when no response seemed to be coming for that. "Merlin knows I'd love it if nobody ever assumed I was some bloodthirsty animal again, but Sirius did you ever think, maybe he actually doesn't know better?"

"That's ridiculous-" his biting words were already edging towards incredulity, but Remus cut in insistently.

"Sirius, you know better than anyone what others think of me, but you three actually got to know me before you found out."

Sirius mulled that over for a moment before he retorted, "wouldn't kill the guy to ask then rather than treating you like that!"

"Have we really given him the chance?" Remus asked in exasperation. "I know I haven't exactly stepped up and offered to be their guinea pig if they have questions, I doubt you lot have." He thought for a moment and amended, "maybe Peter's been saying something to Regulus, but I kind of doubt it." At least, he wasn't vain enough to think that's what they were talking about now.

Sirius went so long without answering again, Remus got off the door and sighed in defeat. He had his hand on the next stall door though when Sirius spoke, "alright Moony. He, well, you're the one wronged here. If you really think a lecture is the punishment he deserves, well, I'll back you up on that. It's probably worse than what I could do to him anyways."

Remus's heart stuttered in surprise, and then he abandoned such a thing as caution as he went back and pushed his stall door open before closing it firmly behind them.

Regulus yawned and cracked his eyes open, and immediately began shuffling around uncomfortably. Evans had done them a kindness by embedding a cushioning charm into the hard marble floor, but still he woke up cradling his head on his arms instead of a pillow and it wasn't exactly comfortable. Peter was a few paces away, on his side and snoring. Potter was half hanging off a bench and grimacing even in his sleep at that awkward position.

On the other side of the room, Longbottom had built Alice a little mini bed out of towels and all the Quidditch robes, but she'd half pulled him on top of that and the two were tangled up together in a sickening display of affection. Evans had herself propped up in the corner, likely to have a crick in her neck for that, directly under the light switch where she hadn't bothered to move from once they'd all agreed a nap even in this uncomfortable place was better than nothing.

He didn't spot his brother or Lupin though, which was odd as he'd swear he heard the water turn off about the time he was falling asleep. Stretching uncomfortably he made his way back towards the showers, plus he really had to take a piss.

He'd relieved himself and was walking back before he spotted the two, propped up in a corner as well, but tangled up like the couple. It was the most bizarre thing he'd ever seen, and he'd once watched Davey Gudgeon try to swallow an ostrich egg whole.

It's not like he could blame his brother wanting to use someone else as a pillow, and maybe the two really had been as exhausted as everyone and barely decided to get dressed before dropping to sleep where they were. He eyed the two for a few moments more before just walking off, Sirius had always been the odd one, and he'd been given the impression long before now werewolves could sleep in any environment, and they weren't to be woken up under any circumstances.

He cringed at his own thoughts as he stepped back down into the locker rooms, now thoroughly understanding better than ever why Sirius had flat out refused any more of their parents' lectures this past summer with a friend like that.

He went snooping, quietly, through the rest of the lockers proper now before finally coming across the book in Harry's. Appropriate enough at least, but he didn't feel like waking anyone else up yet as he settled back down on the floor and thought through the blank pages.

It was surprising, thinking back, that there was no 'mystery' going on in Harry's life this year, unlike the first four where attention had frequently been captured by trying to figure out who was attempting to murder this kid. Instead, that weapon had not been mentioned once since Grimmauld Place, so it was likely not at Hogwarts or Harry would have stumbled into some way to investigate that by now. Instead they'd been dealing with the horrid effects of Umbridge, and no matter who plotted what, nothing they said or did was getting rid of her.

Instead, his eyes wandered back to land on Alice and Longbottom curiously, and his stomach tightened in unease. He'd never really talked to girls, though there were a few in his year he thought pretty enough he would, but Regulus also knew his parents already had an arranged marriage set for him. As far as he knew they hadn't picked anyone yet, but it had been brought up once or twice and he hadn't asked further.

Sirius had already made it very clear he'd have no part in that, not that Regulus could really blame him when they'd made mention of him and Bellatrix at one point. That had made his skin crawl so bad he'd almost thought about excusing himself from dinner before just putting his spoon down and cringing at the following fight. He'd hide in the attic for a week after that one.

His eyes switched to Potter and Evans, any first-year knew the first had a huge crush on the latter, but also of the results. Regulus huffed and squirmed, now eyeing the book in his hands in distaste, he blamed this stupid thing for where his thoughts had jumped to. Harry's crush on Cho had been mentioned so often this year, and it was just confusing.

He momentarily considered going back in and kicking Sirius awake, but he still wasn't even sure if he wanted to talk to Sirius. It was starting to feel like he wasn't going to get much of a choice though. He liked talking to Peter, he'd actually say with confidence now he was probably the first friend he'd ever had considering he could barely talk about Quidditch with anyone from his house without someone inevitably trying to bring up the Dark Lord. He didn't know how Severus could stand his apparent double life where he'd so smoothly discuss this and then apparently go hang around Evans where they talked about Merlin knew what, but surely not that.

Peter was two years older than him though. Would it be too odd to ask him about something like this? It still felt like a question he should ask his brother, if he could stand talking to him again, he still wasn't sure of that. He still didn't want Sirius to just start talking to him just because they agreed on the Dark Lord now, he wanted his brother to talk to him like old times back before they'd even been to Hogwarts. That was still probably a childish dream he was clinging to.

Potter startled and crashed to the floor out of his own dream, groaning and cursing loudly enough everybody else began murmuring and looking around blearily for this disruption. It must have been loud enough to wake up Sirius and Lupin too, because the pages he'd been idly flipping through suddenly had a chapter title that caught his eye almost halfway through the book. Dumbledore's Army, how strange.

"You alright Prongs?" Sirius came bounding in, awake and aware as if he'd been there the whole time. "Sounded like someone was cutting your toes off."

"I'll get a pair of shears and do it to you, arse," he huffed, but his upside-down smile held no hint of a threat. Sirius at least seemed in a better mood today.

Regulus watched the two for a few more beats with longing, Sirius never joked around with him like that anymore. As he started reading about the trio's worry of Umbridge getting ahold of Harry's mail though and Sirius looked genuinely touched at their worry for a moment before loudly brushing that off, Regulus still felt more like getting up and kicking him in the shins for still being an idiot.

At least he and everyone cheered the Gryffindor team was officially back in action, even if it was ruined only moments later by that arrogant little muggle-born accusing Sirius of living vicariously through those teenagers.

"Hey," Sirius looked genuinely hurt for the snub, and Regulus had to remind himself Sirius was glaring at the book like that, not at him, again.

"It's not as if you discouraged them," Evans huffed, rubbing her neck in the corner. "I don't blame her for thinking like that."

Regulus looked to her in confusion, turning her words over in his head as he realized, did she not think that of him? She actually hadn't been yelling and telling them off nearly as much lately now that he thought about it.

He still avoided the argument as much as he could, or at least didn't want to live through two at once, as Harry properly defended his godfather and the whole thing was interrupted by Peeves and Katie Bell starting a miniature war.

Even as he kept going though, right into this locker room and the boys preparing for a practice, Regulus kept absently watching the three and saw none of them had really taken Hermione's comment to heart. It was heartening they really did seem to not be judging Sirius anymore, especially after that last awful thing these books had implied he'd done.

Remus finally came out of the bathroom himself, waiting until Regulus took a pause for breath before flushing the toilet, and having splashed around the water in the sink far longer than he needed to, but still rubbing the heel of his hand into his eyes like he'd only just crawled off the floor. Sirius and James were now snooping through the rest of the lockers and had come across the little orange pill that had apparently put boils where no human would want them.

"Dare you to eat it Moony!" Sirius said as if he'd been there the whole time.

"I'm sure my physiology isn't so unique I wouldn't get those boils too," he grimaced in disgust.

Regulus looked at him in surprise, but it was Evans who piped up in confusion, "what's that supposed to mean?"

He went a little red around the face again, even his smile looked more forced than friendly, but he also didn't immediately shy behind Sirius or Potter like usual as he tried to answer, "ah, some things don't affect me like they do others, I don't get common colds, and certain potions have strange effects on me."

Sirius reached over and popped him on the neck, but lightly, there was no force in the gesture or in his teasing tone. "I thought when you threatened to lecture them, you were going to start with something more interesting than that."

Peter's mouth was hanging open slightly, and Potter was watching the two like someone really was fixing to go at them with garden shears.

It wasn't having much of a good effect on their intended person anyways, Frank scrunched up his face in dislike that apparently some of the texts were true then and werewolves really were other. What else was so different about him that half-breeds needed post scripts about potions?

Lily though found what he'd said fascinating, she'd never have guessed at such a thing and now burned with the desire to ask just how many potions, which exactly, and what quantities he'd taken to know such a thing? She suddenly recalled that wolfsbane potion all the way back from the third book, and her eyes lit in delight as she half asked, half accused, "that wolfsbane potion though, did you know what that was?"

"No," he said honestly, "I've never heard a thing about that, but I also said it was something new in that time."

She nodded in fairness, but was already formulating a list of ingredients in her head, she'd have to ask him specifically if he knew which did and didn't have this effect on him. Was this why he was such a lazabout in potions? She would have wanted to know every detail of this if it were her.

James shifted about uneasily, when had Remus and Sirius decided on this approach? He didn't like the way Longbottom was still looking anywhere but at Remus, and now Evans was apparently going to start scrutinizing him like she would a potions text.

Regulus exchanged a bewildered look with Peter, who merely shrugged. Remus had been comfortable with them for years though to discuss this, but seeing him try to do it with the others was bizarre and he had no idea what to make of it. Regulus went back to reading rather than letting the awkward silence linger, all the way up to something thoroughly distracting, Harry's scar burning once more, and he knew it to be because the Dark Lord was angry about something.

He shivered through the following exchange between Harry and Ron over this, feeling like he needed another shower already by the end. The idea of having to deal with someone else's mood because of a cursed scar was just creepy, let alone who exactly Harry was connected to!

Regulus's stomach continued to swill with unease as Harry continued to brood over everything this could mean. At least whatever that weapon was still seemed to be out of the wrong side's hands, but as he fell asleep over his homework worrying about this, and Sirius, and even that strange dream of a locked door again, and the entire confusing mess of his life, it was almost a relief to get interrupted by Dobby turning back up with Hedwig.

He stopped at the small interruption and glanced up to see nobody looked very distracted. This, thing, between Harry and You-Know-Who was just plain weird, and kept getting more so as time went on. Regulus's eyes flitted to Lupin and back to the book though as he decided they weren't doing any good sitting around worrying about it. This had been done to Harry, the poor guy was just suffering through the consequences.

The house-elf was admittedly a very good distraction, as Harry confessed his problem of spacing issues with his group, and the elf seemed to have an answer for this? Muttering broke out amongst all the older students, but Regulus watched carefully and saw it was all amazement and curiosity, no recognition though, so kept going loudly and even bouncing a bit at the end as Harry got a message to where this would be taking place, and finally described how to get in.

"This is amazing!" Potter squealed, dancing on the spot like he was fighting the urge to wrench that away from him now, and Regulus held it a little tighter to his chest. "I can't believe, how did we never, Merlin's pants!"

"You never knew about this either?" Evans looked genuinely astounded he was admitting such a thing.

"You just heard Harry check the map, of course we didn't!" He seemed so stunned at this new development, he seemed to miss the one going on right in front of him of Evans actually asking a question directly to him.

"The Room of Requirements, can you imagine all the possibilities?" Sirius was practically drooling at the notion of this.

"It's even right on our floor, around the corner from our dorm apparently!" Peter bemoaned, leaning over his shoulder to get a look at this himself.

Nobody could stop themselves muttering in delight at this new discovery right in Hogwarts they could actually go to right now if any of them had still been mad enough to bother trying a door. Regulus sighed as he glared at it again for the first time in ages, wishing he had free rein so he could sprint up there right now, but finally conceded and read out over everyone to keep getting as close as he could to this place in the meantime.

It was of some mild comfort to the Marauders the twins were even in their seventh year now and apparently had never come across this place either as anything other than a one-way broom cupboard, according to them anyways as Filch hadn't been able to get it open but they'd left, and the four exchanged hopeful looks maybe in their last two years something similar would have happened to them as well by then, it was driving them nuts they'd have left the school and never even gotten a hint of this.

James pulled his map out and eyed right where he'd put it in, then he paused and considered to himself if they even should. Since they now knew exactly where it was, it would function the same as the rest. He'd have to add the charm telling how to activate the location, but that would take seconds. He smiled and rubbed his thumb over the spot as he listened to Harry in there, being a brilliant teacher he wouldn't deny, and how his boy was doing so much good for his fellow students.

He glanced up to see Remus and Sirius with their heads close together, laughing at how the name of this group came about. He looked over and saw Peter and Regulus laughing about mock dueling each other later, and then Frank and Alice beaming and cooing at Neville's first disarming charm on Harry.

Finally he looked up and saw that even Evans was enjoying all of this, laughing quietly at Harry's disjointed interactions with Cho while combing out her hair with a brush she'd clearly nicked from one of the Chasers.

He tried to tell himself this was an improvement, it seemed the first time since all of this had started they were all feeling good about something. He still sighed and tried to brace himself as much as he could when Sirius's little brother warned the chapter was almost done.

*  The smut is posted separately

[bcdaily]

Up on the Rooftop (Lily/James, Drabble)

A/N: Did someone ask for a pure fluff drabble to close out the decade? No? Oh well, here it is anyway. Thanks for another decade of amazingness, friends. <3 

A03 ~ FFnet

“How did I let you talk me into this?”

From behind her, Lily feels her boyfriend’s chest rumble in quiet laughter, the vibrations radiating through numerous parts of her—enveloped as they are, with her neatly tucked between the vee of his spread knees, her back curled tightly against his chest, arms casually intertwined, his chin resting idly atop her head.

It’d be decidedly cosy—delightfully so, even—if they weren’t at that very moment cuddled up on an ancient castle’s decidedly questionable roof, with the frigid late December air battling their hastily cast Warming Charms, about to ring in the year 1978 with a dash of danger and slate roof debris chaffing their thickly-layered arses.

“Where’s your sense of adventure?” James asks.

“Inside,” Lily replies. “Where it’s safe and warm.”

“Then that’s your first resolution for the new year: an embracing of escapade.”

Lily’s head tilts back. She eyes him with dry pointedness. “Still dating you, aren’t I?”

Dark eyebrows disappear into his truly ugly brown knitted hat. His mum had given it to him for Christmas. Lily is rather certain there are holes in it. It’s utterly impractical.

She’d got one, too. It’s purple and deformed and her new favourite thing.

“Are you calling me an escapade, Lily Evans?” he demands.

“Among many other things, James Potter.” She reaches up and pulls the hat down over his eyes. The strained fabric pokes out where his specs indent and she laughs. Successfully blinding him, she then tugs his neck down until their lips meet.

Maybe—maybe—it’s not so cold up here.

She lets out a long sigh and snuggles deeper into James’s embrace. He pushes the hat brim back over his eyes and then drops his head into the crook of her neck, where he burrows until he somehow finds skin.

With the hot press of his mouth on her, Lily arches and sighs again.

“I’m going to miss 1977,” she comments idly. “It was kind to me.”

“1978 will be better.”

“Know that for certain, do you?”

“Definitively.” His teeth scrape against her skin, then he soothes it with his lips. “Already resolved to embrace more escapade, haven’t you? Improvement is nigh.”

“You resolved that I would embrace more escapade,” Lily laughs, finding his gloved hand on her stomach, covering it with hers. “I’ve resolved to eat more greens. And quit swearing so much.”

“Fucking hell.”

“And—” She leans slightly out of his embrace, which he protests vehemently with garbled noises, and reclaims the open bottle of champagne they’d left sitting beside them. Lucky it hadn’t toppled over at some point, drenching an unsuspecting passerby below. She settles back against him with the bottle cradled in her arms. She takes a long swig, nose crinkling at the bubbles. “And drink less, too.”

She offers the bottle up to James, who makes a scoffing sound.

“Straight from the bottle,” he sneers. “Got your germs all over it now.”

“Yes,” Lily says sympathetically. “I know how much you hate my germs.”

“Despise them.” James takes the bottle from her, placing it back on its spot beside them, so he can get to her mouth. “Disgusting.”

Up on an unsafe rooftop, Lily feels quite safe in silly, happy, cosy love.

James starts unzipping her coat and she thwacks his fingers with a laugh and another kiss, contrarily grabbing the tab and sweeping it all the way up until her chin and part of her mouth are buried behind the closed fly.

“What are yours?” she asks, voice muffled against the heavy cloth.

James fights her idly for possession of the zipper. “What are my what?”

“Resolutions.”

“End zipper production.”

“Logical.”

“And—” He pulls a sneaky maneuver, fingers somehow dodging up and then down again, ignoring her squawk of indignation as he successfully gains control of the zipper tab. He zips the coat all the way down…then zips it straight back up. And grins. “Be more elegant in my many victories.”

She flicks his nose. “Good one.”

“Also.” His arms shift, closing around her. His lips drift to her ear, warm breath playing there. She’s so distracted by the toasty feel of it, she almost misses his whispered, “Marry you.”

Heart immediately jumping in her chest, Lily lets out an inelegant snort. His breath—surely, it’s his breath—sends shivers down her spine.

“Bold goal.” She turns her head to look up at him, the brisk wind reddening her cheeks. Surely, just the wind. “Perhaps—and this is just me absently ruminating, mind—perhaps one should be dating longer than five months before making such a decision?”

“Fair point,” James concedes, his face noticeably stolid in this joke—surely, a joke. “Except, of course, that I didn’t make this decision five months ago. Ages before that, I’ll have you know.”

“Ages, you say?” For the first time, Lily notices that his fingers have settled back over her stomach. Settled…and have a slight tremor to them. Her heart begins to pound harder. “Love at first sight, was it?”

“Love at first—are you kidding?” He pulls a face. “Hate at first sight. You were a terrible eleven-year-old.”

“I do recall something about a terrible eleven-year-old,” Lily muses. She covers his hand—surely, the cold. It is surely the cold that sees them shaking—with hers. “Didn’t I try to plow your trousers with pumpkin pie first year?”

James sniffs. “Yes, you did.”

“And you deserved it wholeheartedly, as I also recall.”

“Conjecture. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“If we got married, we could never keep pumpkin pie in the house.”

James buries his face in her hair. “Never much liked it, anyway.”

“James?”

“Hm?”

“You’re…you’re kidding, right? About…”

“I’m not about to ask this very second, if that’s what you mean.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Have the whole year to get to it. That’s the point. The resolution is for the year.”

“James.”

“Except it won’t happen at Christmas. Everyone always does it at Christmas. That’s a cliché.”

“James?”

“Not until after graduation, either. I’m not going to have you walking around with a big, hulking thing on your finger, trying to take exams. You’ll get carpal tunnel.”

“I don’t want something big and hulking.”

“Noted.”

They’re quiet on the rooftop. Quiet, but for the whistling of the wind, and the far-off splashes of the squid in the lake, and Lily’s heart, which is surely beating so loud the entirety of Scotland can hear it.

She’s not cold anymore. Not even a bit.

Her lips press together. They press together so hard, it’s nearly painful. There’s a biting sting at her eyes, sharp as the wind goes, and she takes in a deep breath, holding it in.

“Well.” His voice is short. Tight. He leans his cheek against her hair. “It’s just a resolution, anyway. People break those all the time.”

“Don’t,” Lily whispers. Her lips feel numb. “Don’t break this one.”

Behind her, Lily feels the tension in his body freeze for a long moment—lengthy, lingering, hard as slate, and still as the silent evening, as this burgeoning moment on the cusp of a new year, on the brink of a rooftop, on the possibility of…then he exhales.

“Okay.” His head drops back down into the crook of her neck. On her stomach, his fingers flutter.

“James.” She twists around in his vise-like grip. “I love you. You know that, right?”

“You’ve mentioned it a time or two.” His voice is muffled against her skin. Then his head lifts. His brown eyes are bright in the moonlight. “I just wanted to make sure you knew…that I…that this—”

“I know.” She brushes at the tufts of his dark hair poking out from beneath the knitted hat. There’s something bubbling in her stomach. It’s not champagne. “And you’re right—Christmas is a cliché. Don’t do it at Christmas.”

The corners of his mouth tip, one side higher than the other. “That’s all I’m saying.”

“You should—or, you know what? Maybe I will.”

“Sorry?”

“I’m supposed to be embracing escapades, after all. Stealing a proposal? Definite escapade.”

“You can’t steal my proposal.”

“Can’t I?”

“No! That’s completely—”

They are still arguing as the clock strikes midnight.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

How Sirius and James will get together if there is no war and at first James married Lily, but after some time both him and Lily of them realised that they are not actyally love each other so strong and etc. Thank you!

James was sat at the table, wondering what the hell he was going to do. Divorce. 

It wasn't the nicest word he'd ever heard. Despite what everyone might think, he knew that him and Lily hadn't been in love anymore. He hadn't given it much thought though. Relationships changed, that's part of the nature of getting older-- things change with time. So yes, James had known that they weren't in love anymore, but he didn't let it worry him. If he gave it more time, he was sure that they'd fall back in love. He didn't have to ask anyone if that's how relationships were; he thought he knew. They fell out of love, and surely they would fall back in love if he waited. 

Lily said that she didn't think they'd ever be in love, and James had tried to think about it, but then he felt like he couldn't breathe with panic so he stopped. 

So yes, now he was sat at the table, trying to think of what the ever-loving fuck he was going to do. He had to tell his mates that him and Lily had split. He had to find somewhere to live. He had to remember how to clean dishes because him and Lily had split chores, and she had chosen dishes since he agreed to do all the laundry. In a couple months-- or years, or however long it was going to take for him to get past this-- he was going to have to remember how to date. That wasn't a very good thought, but he was so vastly unprepared for that that it seemed an outlandish idea. 

He heard the floo go while he was occupied staring at the surface of the table, and he didn't look up, assuming that it was Lily getting back from grabbing some tea. He wasn't convinced she was actually getting tea every time she said that. Until they stopped living together though, that was going to continue. She wanted time alone, and their room wasn't exactly neutral territory. If she wasn't leaving the house to go out, James would probably be doing it. 

"James? You alright there, mate?" 

Sirius. "Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered. He was suddenly very aware that his elbow hurt from leaning his head against it. He had no idea how long he'd been sitting like that, doing nothing, but it must have been a while. "What're you doing here?" 

"You were supposed to meet me at the Leaky so I could take you muggle shopping, remember?" 

James looked over at him. It's true that Sirius was dressed in his usual muggle-outing clothes. "Yeah." He'd asked Sirius to take him shopping because the anniversary of his wedding was coming up, and he knew that Lily preferred muggle jewelry to magical jewelry; he'd planned to spend a few hours looking at necklaces and earrings because Merlin knew she deserved it. Getting an expensive gift for your ex-wife wasn't done though, so James should have canceled. The truth was that he'd completely forgotten about it the moment Lily had said the word 'divorce'. "Sorry love, I forgot all about it." It's only after he called Sirius 'love' that it occurred to him that he probably liked Sirius more than Lily. Always had. Lily was bloody wonderful, and he... Maybe Lily had been right about them never being in love. They'd been young, and they'd thought she was pregnant for a while there, but it had felt right, so they'd gotten married. 

"It's alright," Sirius said easily, lounging in one of the other chairs around the table. His legs were splayed out in front of him, and he nudged James's leg with the toe of his boot after he got settled. "What's with you? You normally don't forget about me." 

"I didn't forget about you-- I just forgot we had plans." 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "It was a joke. You and Lily okay?" 

The word divorce echoed around his head like the hollow of a bell. "We're separating," he said, because that didn't sound quite as bad. 

"Ah," Sirius said. He wasn't surprised. There was an understanding, sympathetic look on his face. "And you didn't see it coming?" 

James shook his head. "I mean, I knew we weren't in love anymore, but I thought that was pretty normal." 

"You thought it was normal to not love your wife?" 

James glared at him. 

"You have to admit that it sounds a little suspect." 

"I thought it was a phase," James grumbled. "We didn't love each other, so what? We'd fall back into it later on. You don't have to tell me that it's a shite idea. I found that out when I mentioned it to Lily." 

"You told her that?" 

James's glare intensified. 

"Not judging," Sirius said, holding up his hands in surrender. "Do you know what you're going to do?" 

"About what?" 

"Well... any of it. What you're going to tell people. How you're going to deal with gatherings where you'll both be there." 

"We're separating; we're not mortal enemies." 

"Yeah, I know, but divorce can change things. Perfectly tolerable habits suddenly annoy the hell out of you." 

"What makes you an expert?" 

"I'm not an expert, but I pay attention. Marlene's parents, remember?" Lily had been Head Girl and was too busy, and Mary and Dorcas had just started dating and she hadn't wanted to bother them. 

James blew out a breath, feeling very tired now that he wasn't propping himself up. "Right. I haven't... I haven't figured anything out yet. Not erm- not yet, anyways." 

"You can stay with me. Merlin knows I've got the space." 

"Really?" 

Sirius gave a crooked smile. "'Course. Can't leave my little Jamie out to dry." 

"We're the same size." 

"Ah, but I'm taller." 

James rolled his eyes. This was a well-worn argument, but one that made him feel better when faced with so much uncertainty. 

*

"Hey Lils," Sirius said, busing a kiss to her cheek. 

She gave a weak smile. 

"You alright?" 

"Just-" she shrugged with one shoulder. "I guess I thought that now that me and James have split, you wouldn't..." 

"Wouldn't like you anymore?" Sirius guessed, and she nodded. He snorted, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and steering them towards the furniture store. They'd written a few letters back and forth, but this was the first time seeing each other in person since she was trying to avoid seeing James for a little while. This was the first time James had been busy when both Lily and Sirius were free, so he was helping her shop for new furniture for her flat while they had the time. "If I'd only been pretending, I'm sure that would be what happened. Unfortunately, you are quite talented at making friends, and I was helpless to resist." 

"Not sure you've ever been helpless." 

Sirius laughed. "Flattery will do you a world of good, Miss Evans." She'd decided to switch back to her old name, and Sirius knew she was nervous about it. "What are we in the market for today?" 

"Everything?" 

"If that's not an invitation to buy you one of each chair, I don't know what it is." 

"Bloody hell. You're here for heavy lifting, not your opinion." 

"Rude. I have excellent taste." 

"I'm sure," she said dryly. 

*

"Do you ever think that love is fake?" James asked, looking up at the ceiling. If the question hadn't been enough to tip Sirius off that James was in a strange mood, the fact that he was lying on the ground instead of the couch would've done it. 

"Fake how?" 

"That we make it up to be this emotion that we all feel but it doesn't actually exist." 

"No. I mean, what about us? I love you. That's real; it's not a fake emotion." 

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." 

Sirius frowned. "I'm lost. How is me loving you proof that love is fake?" 

"Romantic love. It's fake." 

"So... you think that romantic love is fake because we're best mates?" 

"If you can't fall in love with me, no one can." 

"Does what you're saying make sense to you?" Sirius asked, more confused than ever. 

"I love you." 

"Yeah, I love you too." 

"That's not what I meant." 

"Right," Sirius said slowly. "Have you been drinking?" 

James pushed himself up onto his elbows to glare at Sirius. "No." 

"Then start making sense." 

"No," he said again, petulantly this time, and laid back on the floor. 

"Okaaay." Sirius wasn't altogether certain that he believed James when he said he hadn't been drinking, so when he was grabbing a cup for water, he checked the firewhiskey. It looked about the same that it had been before, which was good, but it didn't explain what was going on with James. 

He realised the date before dinner. Their anniversary. No wonder James was all twisted up. Maybe he hadn't been in love with Lily for a while, but they'd been together for nearly five years. A change that big was bound to effect you, whether you'd been in love with the person or not when you separated. 

*

The divorce had been finalised. Lily had officially moved into her own flat and made it like a home. It had been four months since they'd decided to separate, and it felt like things were going to be okay. It was still a little weird between them, but they were managing. James hadn't mentioned wanting to move out, and Sirius hadn't brought it up. They hadn't officially talked about it, but James was there to stay. He'd bought a new dresser since the last one he'd had was a shared one with Lily and far too big for the other room, and Sirius had helped him move it into his room without questioning the decision. 

At this point, he'd panic a bit if James announced that he was leaving. Sirius liked the company, and he knew that James felt the same. Or at least, he knew that if James minded, he would've found somewhere to live by now. 

"Sirius?" 

"Hm?" He didn't look away from the magazine he was flipping through. 

"Have you ever been in love?" 

"Yes," Sirius said, but that sounded too certain and he didn't want for James to ask too many questions. "I think so." 

"Who?" 

"Does it matter? We're not together." 

Not "we're not together anymore". It was "we're not together", period. James noticed that little detail. "You never dated?" 

"Does it matter?" Sirius repeated. 

"Who is it? How could you be in love with someone you never dated? Why don't I know them?" 

"What makes you think you don't?" 

"I know you," was James's immediate response. "I'd think that if I saw you together, I would notice something like that." 

Sirius flipped the page of his magazine and said nothing. 

James sighed. "I guess I don't know much about what people look like when they're in love, huh?" he joked. He wasn't mad at Sirius for not telling him, and he wanted to hear that Sirius wasn't upset with him either. 

So Sirius smirked a little and said, "Eh, don't worry about it. I'd like to think I hid it quite nicely." 

*

"What are we?" James asked. 

"What are we...?" 

"Yeah." 

"What?" 

"What what?" 

There was a moment where they both paused and frowned at each other. "What the hell are you talking about?" Sirius asked. "You started to ask a question, never finished, and I tried to get you to complete it, and then you stopped making sense." 

"Oh." That's not the way James had experienced it, but whatever. "No, I meant: what are we to each other?" 

"Er, best mates? Flat mates? Friends through thick and thin? Not that I'm sure what the thin or the thick is supposed to mean, but I know it's good that we stick together." 

"...right," James said, subdued. 

Sirius glanced at him, then did a double take at the expression on his face. He looked depressed. Worse than when him and Lily had split, because when that had happened, he was more lost than sad. He'd been sad when his parents died, but they'd been old and gotten sick; they'd all known that it was coming. "Are you sad that we're friends or summat?" 

"Of course not," he muttered, still looking down. 

"Then why are you upset?" 

"I'm not." 

"Oh is that what we're doing now? Lying to each other? Alright, I can get on board with that. I'd like to start with the quote unquote truth of what happened that night I got absolutely sloshed. It all started when I was riding a unicorn through the halls of my ancestral home-" 

"You know that's not what I meant," James mumbled. 

"Of course I do, but you're not talking to me. If you're having doubts about how much I care about you, shouldn't you tell me that straight out? I don't mind telling you. Or-" he said, switching directions as something occurred to him "-is this something you're trying to break to me? Are you wanting to move out? I'd miss you, obviously, but I'm not going to make you stay here if you'd rather live on your own." 

"I'm not moving out." 

"Then what's going on?" 

"Would you go on a date with me?" 

"What?" 

"A date. With me." 

"Are you... sure? That that's what you want, I mean. A date- well that changes things. Whether it goes good or bad, it's going to be different." 

James nodded. "I'm sure. I've been thinking about it for a while." 

Sirius wanted to say yes. More than anything, he wanted to say yes. He couldn't help but think that this was going to be something of a rebound for James, though. The first date after a divorce didn't lead to happily ever after. But he also knew that if he said no, there wouldn't be a second time. James would think that he wasn't interested, and they wouldn't mention it again. "Alright." 

James jerked. "Really?" 

"Sure," Sirius said with a grin. "It's been a while since I've been on a date. We can muddle through the awkwardness together." 

"When have we ever been awkward around each other?" 

"I'm sure we'd find a way. When do you want to do it?" 

"Er, tomorrow?" 

"Alright. What are we doing?" 

"Dinner?" 

Sirius nodded. 

"Indian?" 

"Sounds great. Do I have to get all dressed up for you?" 

James snorted, the rest of the tension bleeding out of his shoulders. "Not unless you want to." 

If that wasn't an invitation to make himself like handsome as all hell, he didn't know what was. 

[chaoswillfallrpg]

JASPER AVERY is TWENTY-THREE YEARS OLD and a JUNIOR EVENTS GAMEMAKER at THE DEPARTMENT OF MAGICAL SPORTS AND GAMES at THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC. He looks remarkably like KEDAR WILLIAMS-STIRLING and considers himself aligned with THE DEATH EATERS. He is currently OPEN.

→ OVERVIEW:

tw: death

Jasper Avery has always felt somewhat overwhelmed by the life he was given, though a well trained poker face and his resourcefulness have always helped him overcome any complications he’s had. The youngest child of MARIETTE LAMERE and EDWIN AVERY, Jasper was brought up in the beautiful Muggle village of Alton, in a castle which sat secluded in the hills and had somewhat of an outlandish upbringing compared to most sorcerers. Whilst the Avery family were known amongst the wizarding community for their commitment to hard work and determination, his mother’s family were quite the opposite. The Avery family had held onto their large fortune and withered the storm of The Wizarding World War by working hard and maintaining their property, whereas his mother’s family had shied away from the conflict and topped up their glasses and threw large parties with exotic birds they kept on their estate. Mariette was certainly a strange choice of bride for his very down to earth father, swept up in her opulence and brilliance that would differentiate their branch of the family from his aunts ALICIA-AVERY JONES and EUDORA AVERY-SHACKLEBOLT who’d made waves within their chosen careers. When Mariette became an Avery she began powering through their family fortune, throwing outlandish events that resembled a circus. Whereas his cousins and childhood friend FAYE ALTON were visibly shocked by his mother’s antics, Jasper and his sister GENEVIEVE thrived at Alton Castle.

Unlike most wizarding families they kept sorcerers as staff rather than house elves, had winged horses in a stable at the rear of their home and only wore custom fit clothing from the design houses of Paris. Their mother wanted them to have the very best and raised them with very traditional values. In Mariette’s world their father was the one who provided for them whilst they lived off his efforts and prepared to draw up marriage contracts with other notable families. Jasper was the prince of their family, encouraged to give orders and assume the role of head of house whilst his father was away working in Appleby as a coach, Mariette raised him as a little self entitled gentleman. Edwin had never had any opinions on the way Mariette had raised their children and hoped as they would grow they would become more determined and show their Avery colours. He watched and he waited but when neither showed any interest in anything other than cake, lounging by the pool and trading gossip like his wife, Edwin took matters into his own hands. When he was able to, Jasper’s father would take him to Appleby to train with his team or would take him out onto the Quidditch pitch in their back garden and repeatedly thrust a broom into his hand. Jasper didn’t want to play Quidditch. Like his mother and sister he thought it to be a bit of a barbaric sport, but his father’s opinion mattered a great deal to him and as such he appeased him.

The falls hurt and by the time Jasper had begun attending Hogwarts he was quite the Beater, though it hadn’t come without it’s challenges. Though he loved his sister he envied Genevive. Jasper longed to swan around as she did with little prospects and worries other than to who she would marry. It was the life he wanted for himself, to be admired by those within The Sacred Twenty-Eight and make a match with someone so outlandish it was splashed across The Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly for all to read. Attending Hogwarts, Jasper had his sights set on creating a similar life for himself to the one he had at home. Jasper Avery truly thought he was the most important person in his year group and although he was related to beloved students KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT and HESTIA JONES it became very clear he would follow in the footsteps of his older sister and take Slytherin by force no matter how other people felt, though Jasper aspired to be as loved as his cousins were before him. Settling into Slytherin, Jasper quickly made friends with ALYS WARRINGTON, his soft little friend who he’d always thought of as too pure for him despite how much he cared for her. LARKIN MUCLIBER, was much more up his street and quickly became his best friend, bullying others for their own entertainment and belittling anyone who threatened their existence. Jasper’s main rival at school came in the form of LILY EVANS, an exceedingly talented Muggle-Born witch who he became very jealous of.

No matter how hard Jasper tried to exceed in school, Lily would always best him, forcing Jasper to have to resort to underhand tactics which included copying the work of his good friend SEVERUS SNAPE and inviting him into their little fold to further bother Lily. Although his friendship with Severus first began as an axe to wield against Lily, Jasper quickly became very fond of him, drawn to his intelligence and bitterness towards those who did not treat him with the respect he believed he deserved. It was Jasper’s liking towards Severus that began his long standing rivalry with the Marauders and their group of friends who he quickly despised. JAMES POTTER, SIRIUS BLACK, PETER PETTIGREW and REMUS LUPIN thought they were perfect and could do no wrong. They had the favour of all the teachers and whilst they were seemingly allowed to bully anyone they wished it was always he and his friends that ended up serving dentition in the forest. Whilst he tried to take out his frustration on them in the halls, he quickly learned the Quidditch pitch was a better place and made it his mission to send Potter, Black and any of their little Gryffindor cronies to the hospital wing as he could for their insolence. Off the field, his antics had begun to attract admirers in the form of his first girlfriend ELEANOR YAXLEY. His mother was overjoyed when he brought her home for the first time. A Yaxley was everything she had hoped for, Eleanor was beautiful, she was rich and able to carry forth their name with brilliance.

The issue Jasper had with her was that she was very demanding, more than both he and his mother and sister were. Eleanor liked things her way always which paired with the mistreatment he received from her best friend VIOLET BULSTRODE did not at all feel worth it, especially after his father passed away. Despite their differences, Jasper really loved his father and reacted to his death badly. He had taken his job at the Ministry to make him proud, knowing fine well he would never be happy as a Quidditch player, he’d begun working at the Ministry helping to organise the events side of The British and Irish Quidditch League, with aspirations of one day becoming head of the department. After Edwin died, Jasper pushed away his girlfriend and leapt into the bed of AALIYA GOSFORTH, a fellow junior gamemaker at the Ministry. He knew his mother would never approve due to her views on blood status. Jasper knew he didn’t love Aaliya, he didn’t think he ever could but she was a crutch he needed to keep him out of the marriage market as it became clear he would be unable to be married for some time. As a Goblin from Gringotts read out the state of their financial affairs, Jasper realised he had fared much better than his mother and sister. He had inherited Alton Castle and a large sum of money to run it after his father’s passing, but he had also inherited his debt, his mother and his sister. Mariette had spent all their money leaving his sister with nothing and unable to draw up a contact with anyone of real influence.

Taking charge of the family, Jasper got back to work and began to consider ways to improve his situation. He couldn’t take a wife, though he had designs on the one he wanted. NARCISSA BLACK had become the most sought after witch within their society, whose beauty rivalled his own sister’s. She was his goal as was paying off their family debt and as such he made a deal with the devil. Larkin, his brother and Severus had become a part of an underground movement which promised power for loyalty in a new world a figure called THE DARK LORD was building. Hoping it would enable him to rise through the Ministry faster and procure the hand of Narcissa, Jasper joined their ranks not thinking of the consequences. His first task had been trying to convince Faye to join their ranks at his sister’s wedding, knowing she was related to powerful dark magic and had seeing abilities, but became quickly sidetracked. Marrying off his sister was essential as he couldn’t afford to fund her lifestyle, her husband VICTOR WILKES seemed like an easy and brilliant target for her to manipulate, until he dropped dead on his wedding night. Currently involved in a media scandal with people hounding him and asking for comments when he is meant to be keeping a low profile, Jasper is doing his best to handle his responsibilities as head of the family and find out more about The Dark Lord’s designs on Faye and get her into the fold before he ends up on his hit list.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-Blood

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male

Sexuality  → Up to Roleplayer

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Slytherin)

Societies → N/A

Family → Genevive Avery (sister), Kingsley Shacklebolt (cousin), Balthazar Jones (uncle), Alicia Avery Jones (aunt), Hestia Jones (cousin), Gwenog Jones (cousin)

Connections  → Larkin Mulciber (best friend), Severus Snape (best friend), Regulus Black (close friend), Wyatt Jugson (close friend), Amir Gibbon (close friend), Alys Warrington (close friend/potential love interest), Faye Alton (friend), Victor Yaxley (friend), Violet Bulstrode (friend/adversary), Elenor Yaxley (ex-girlfriend), Aaliyah Gosforth (romantic liaison), Narcissa Black (object of intention), Lily Evans (adversary), Mary MacDonald (adversary), Marlene McKinnon (adversary), Dorcas Meadowes (adversary), Sirius Black (adversary), James Potter (adversary), Peter Pettigrew (adversary), Remus Lupin (adversary)

Future Information → N/A

JASPER AVERY IS A LEVEL 4 WIZARD.

[smileyjily]

Chapter 37

Reading this chapter as if it's the first time because I do not remember a word I wrote here, and it is just gut punch after gut punch. Everything the characters reveal in the DADA is so harrowing and impactful. Pulling passages from this one is going to get long so behind a cut.

1) Sirius’s bad dreams

“I have these dreams, nightmares really. The same one over and over again. Some of the details change but the content of the dream is always the same, the meat of it,” Sirius said.

Living in a dorm with Sirius, James could testify to the truth of that. A solid night’s sleep had been impossible their first few years together because Sirius was a screamer, thrashing about and panting desperately once his dreams began in earnest. Fucking annoying. Fucking tragic too, but it had been difficult for James to view it that way when he’d been running on four hours sleep. Well-rested, he was better able to see it for what it was.

“I go back to my parents’ house. From the moment I enter, I can tell nothing has changed. The place is pristine, untouched. I wouldn’t be surprised to find my parents frozen in the exact same position in which I left them. At the top of the stairs, I see the door to my room. I stand outside it for a long time, trying to decide whether or not I should go in. Some nights, I don’t open the door. I just stand there until my alarm goes off and I remember that I’m really at Hogwarts. That Grimmauld Place is leagues away,” Sirius said.

In spite of knowing Sirius would never reveal anything too personal to this group, that wherever this story was going, it would end in a joke, James still felt a shiver crawl up his spine at the eerie description.

“The times I do go inside, well, it’s enough to make me want to week,” Sirius sniffled. Actually, took a shaky breath in through his nose. “All of my posters – the Rolling Stones, the Ursula Andress in a bathing suit – they’re gone! My parents have found a way to undo my sticking charms, and wrenched them off the walls. I know I’ll never see them again.”

James half-heartedly hid his snickers behind his hand. Still doing his sad, abandoned bit, Sirius shot him a scandalized look, like James was actually mocking him. There was just a touch of that Black cruelty in his smile though. James laughed all the harder.

The release of breath from the listening students as they realized Sirius was just messing around was an almost visceral thing. Carla Daniels looked especially put off that Sirius hadn’t taken their assignment seriously. The only person who didn’t seem disappointed was Professor Ames. In fact, she was studying Sirius intently, no hint that she felt annoyance at how he’d twisted her sincerity.

“Can I take it that you’re exaggerating the frequency of your dreams, Mr. Black?” Ames asked.

“I suppose you could say that.”

“Your posters, though? Was your concern there all in jest or do you actually think about whether they’re still hanging?” Ames said.

Now, Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “Not frequently, but yeah, sometimes I guess. That Ursula Andress one is really nice.”

“They’re also tangible evidence that you once lived there,” Professor Ames said thoughtfully.

“I left them up because I knew it would drive my mother mad,” Sirius said shortly.

“And as a result, she can never use the room for some other purpose,” Ames pointed out.

Rather than lashing out, Sirius grew very quiet after that. Those posters were likely the only proof that Sirius had ever resided with his family. Orion Black had been kind enough to forward along all of Sirius’s belongings after he’d moved in with James’ family. Before doing so, the Blacks had burned his belongings to the point of being unrecognizable, but it was the thought that counted. James wasn’t sure he’d ever seen his mother so furious as when she was trying to sort through the burnt heap of Sirius’s school books and drawings from when he was a kid. They’d even sent along the destroyed family portrait that used to hang in the receiving room. An appointment had already been made to commission another one without their oldest son.

2) James reflecting on the unknowability of one Lily Evans

Sometimes he felt like he knew less and less about Lily with everything new he learned. They were closer than ever, and yet there was a distance. Something unbreachable had sprung up between them, or maybe it was a distance without birth, something that predated them both. The decision that human beings should be born in separate bodies, to never truly learn the intricacies of each other’s secrets.

Because maybe it wasn’t that Lily put up a wall between them. Maybe it was that the more he learned, the more he wanted to know. He wanted to crawl inside her skin and just live in her thoughts for a few hours – minutes – a second if he had to settle.

The tiniest kernel of truth from her, any clue – minute as it may be – was something he craved.

3) The almost immediate reconciliation of Mary/Marlene

“I don’t want to talk to you about this in front of all these people,” Mary said stiffly.

“Why not? You only agreed to tell me alongside all these people. I don’t see why I deserve special explanations now,” Marlene said, but she just sounded kind of sad.

Mary tentatively reached out to take ahold of her hand. When Marlene didn’t resist, Mary sighed.

“I don’t like to make things about me with you,” Mary admitted, “Because I think you deserve the world.”

As far as explanations went, Mary’s was fairly insubstantial but Marlene still relented. They disappeared for a moment – Sirius and James were close enough to share a private language. Mary and Marlene possessed a separate world. When they finally broke eye contact, Marlene had tears in her eyes.

Very quietly, Mary whispered something to Marlene in Korean, a language that no one expected her to speak. Then, Marlene began to cry in earnest. Mary closed her eyes and took on an expression of true suffering.

So intimate was the scene, that James felt sick just from bearing witness.

4) And to really drive it home, this chapter also has good Peter foreshadowing. Good Remus psychoanalysis. And some subtle but there if you look for it, growth on James’ part. I love it.

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

The Jimmy Jab Games

Chapter 2: Riding Thestrals

~The Jimmy Jab Games Master~

Paring: Sirius Black x Reader

Word Count: 3.5K

~Master~

“Y/N, wake up!” There wasn’t enough reaction time for you to really awaken before a pillow was chucked at your head. Despite you being completely against it, your eyes opened and you yanked the pillow off you, sending it to the floor with a groan.

“No. I don’t wanna.” You mumbled, snuggling into your blankets more. Lily rolled her eyes, nudging you with her hand but you didn’t move.

“I’m not fighting you, girl. I’ll go get Sirius.” She called out as she left you alone in the room, the morning sun broke through your window enough to tell you it was well into the morning and you should’ve gotten up a couple hours ago. You could hear footsteps coming into your shared room a few minutes later as you let out a sigh and pulled the blanket over your head.  

Sirius was sitting in the common room, not admitting he was waiting for you to come down from your room. He tapped his hand against the couch, as he kept glancing back at the stairs and the action caused his friends to chuckle under their breaths.

“Just go wake her up.” James smirked, slapping Sirius’ shoulder. The boy who obviously wasn’t paying attention snapped his head to look at James.

“What are you talking about?” He tried to play it off, closing the potions book on his lap that everyone knew went unread.

James turned to Remus, both holding back their scoffs. “Well its obvious you’re not getting any work done.” Remus said pointing towards Sirius’ discarded book. “and neither is James.”

“Yes I am!” James protested, slamming his book shut. Sirius wrinkled his nose as he looked at his friend, not believing his lie.

“Oh yeah?” Remus asked. “What potion are we learning about?” He quizzed James. James thought for a second, trying to remember anything about the book he really wasn’t at all interested in.

He sighed in defeat. “And neither is James.” He grumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Wait, we’re supposed to go for Sirius, not me.” He reminded Remus who mumbled a quick ‘oh yeah’ before turning to the unimpressed Sirius.

He rolled his eyes. “There’s nothing to go for. I’m not waking up Y/N because I don’t care if she’s awake or sleeping in.”

“Sirius, I need you to go wake up Y/N.” Lily exhaled as she stood in front of Sirius who’s mouth thinned into a straight line.

“Well, duty calls.” James poked his head out from behind Lily as Sirius glared at him but didn’t say a thing as he stood off the couch and headed towards your room, charming the stairs not to disappear under his feet. As soon as he was out of view of his friends, he began skipping up the stairs faster before Lily’s words last night stopped him. He could see in this moment how it could be perceived that he liked you, not in love with you, but liked you. He took slow steps, much slower than normal before he was at your door, priding himself on beating Lily accusations.

“Oh, this is ridiculous.” He grumbled when he realized he was convincing himself, not his friend. Pushing open your door, he saw you bury yourself in your bed and he snickered. “Y/N!” He shouted and lightly jogged across the room, jumping onto your bed. He laid next to you, on top of all your pillows and staring at the ceiling.

You squirmed as Sirius landed half on top of you and tried to remove yourself from under him. “Siri, move! You’re crushing me!”

“Wake up and I won’t crush you.” he pointed out, hearing you sigh as you came out from under the blankets, glaring at him. Sirius let a smile cross his face as he saw you, your bedhead hair brushed over your face as your brows knitted together.

“Fine, I’m up.” You complained, fixing your hair and seeing Sirius still staring at you. You raised a brow at him. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sirius averted his gaze, opting to look at the ceiling again with a teasing face. “No reason. Just forgot how ugly you were in the morning.”

You snorted, giving Sirius a shove as he was forced out of the bed, landing on his back with a thud. “You deserved that.” You told him with a sweet tone.

“Yeah, yeah. Help me up.” You reached an arm over the side of the bed, Sirius taking your hand and hoisting himself up. He took his spot on your bed back and you scooted over to give him room. He put his left hand behind his head and allowed you to rest your own head on his elbow as a pillow. You both settled into the silence, enjoying the moment before you ran a hand over your face.

“I forgot about the games.” You admitted, turning your head to see Sirius. He looked as well, nodding his head.

“Oh yeah. I guess I did too.” He whispered. You pushed yourself out of the bed and stretched, seeing Sirius watching you carefully. You felt your cheeks heat up as you picked up your pillow, gently slapping him with it as you told him to get up so you can make your bed. “I’ll do it. You just get dressed, everyone’s waiting.”

“Pads, you don’t even make your own bed. Do you even know how?” You bit your lip, seeing Sirius deadpan as you giggled, grabbing your clothes and toiletries and headed to the bathroom. You came back to your bed fully made and Sirius laying across it, waiting for your return. “Okay, lets go.” You told Sirius who stood up, watching you walk towards the door before stopping. He stood in his place as he watched you repeatedly remember to grab your belongings. First a hair tie, then your wand, and finally when you remembered to grab your robes and throw them on, he made a move towards the door, joining you at the right time to walk down together.

“Finally!” Lily yelled when she saw you and Sirius. “Sleeping Beauty awakens with the help of the prince of course.”

“Shove off, Evans.” Sirius blushed, happy you couldn’t see as you tried to hide the small tint of your own.

You looked around at your friends, furrowing your brow at being one short. “Peter still sick?” you asked and looked towards Remus who had taken him to Madam Pomfrey last night.

“Yeah, Madam P said it best he stay in bed for a while.” He told you and you felt a little guilty, the games were your idea. Sirius put a hand on your back, getting you to look at him.

“He’ll be alright Y/N. We all ate the tarts as well and none of us are sick.” He shrugged off the thought, knowing Peter would be fine a few days. You knew he was right or else you’d all be sick, he probably just ate too much. “So what’s the plan for today McKinnon?”

Marlene clapped her hands together. “For that, we go for a walk.” You and Sirius exchanged glances with each other before with the rest of your friends and followed Marlene out of the common room. She didn’t say anything as you began your walk outside, leading you down to the forbidden forest and the Thestrals Paddock, a place that while not ruled off limits, everyone knew to stay away from.

“Thestrals?” You spoke up, glancing to Marlene who wore a proud look. You remembered the gamekeeper at Hogwarts, Hagrid, he’d always talk about the creatures and you’ve done some reading at your teachers request to soothe your curiosities about the magical creatures.

“What? No fair! You know Y/N’s fascinated by these things, she’s got the upper hand!” Sirius complained as you rolled your eyes, shooting him a grin.

“Well, you better get your act together then because it looks like I might be winning.” You heard a few huffs of annoyance from your friends before Lily put her hand on your shoulder and got you to pay attention to Marlene.

“For today’s challenge, you will be riding Thestrals!” She announced and threw her hands out in triumph. No one cheered, instead you all looked at her confused.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” Remus spoke up, voicing your concerns. “We can’t even see them.”

Marlene’s hands fell to her side, her lips thinning as you turned to look at your friends. “It’s not a bad idea.” You tried to reason, aware of how much Marlene was doing for you all and hating making her feel bad. “The Thestrals in there are some of the most trained in the world. I’m sure it won’t be that hard to ride them.” Everyone seemed reluctant, still worried about the repercussions of something not ending well. You sighed as your shoulders dropped.

Sirius was nervous about the aspect of riding a Thestral, but you do your research. If you say they’re fine to fly, then it’s fine. “I’m in.” Sirius declared as you met his eyes, a smile growing on both of your faces. Soon, the rest of your friends were in as well and you were bouncing on the balls of your feet as you waited. You could hear Sirius laugh behind you as you leaned back against him, letting him support you. “You’re way too excited.” He said quietly, aware of how loud his voice would be in your ear.

“Are you kidding? Of course, I’m excited! We should’ve visited here far sooner.” A few heads turned in your direction, not aware you were talking to Sirius. Lily, Remus, and James couldn’t hold their eye rolls back at the sight of you and Sirius not knowing how couple-y you were acting. You carried on with the walk just a little ways more before a clearing appeared, the trees covered it well, the look reminding you of twilight despite being midday. It was beautiful, but what caused you to stopped walking, breathing even, was the sight of 6 horses, their bones showing as they were fleshless and their wings when expanded were the larger than anything you’d ever seen before. “They’re beautiful.” You breathed out, not catching the turn of heads.

Sirius knotted his brows, glancing between you and the spot you were looking. You took a few steady steps forwards as he tried to figure out what was happening. He didn’t know much about Thestrals, just that you couldn’t see them. He did however remember you a few months ago telling him something about only certain people being able to see them.

“Your father.” Sirius mumbled, suddenly realizing the only reason you could see the Thestrals was due to your father dying last spring when you went home to be him and your mum. He’d been sick for years and doctors, even as skilled as the wizard doctors were, couldn’t save him. Sirius remembers how distraught you’d been, he stayed awake with you almost every night for weeks to comfort you.

You nodded your head, turning around to your friends and clearing your throat. “I guess I have more of an upper hand than you thought, Pads.” He offered a small laugh, one clearly for your benefit as you faced the Thestral again. You were careful as you brought a hand up, running it down the Thestrals mane. The horse-like creature took a step back as you paused, but not a moment later it allowed you to brush you hand across its boney face.

And to think, this morning you didn’t even want to leave your bed.

Sirius couldn’t take his eyes off you. The look on your face was one he loved seeing, happiness dripping through every feature. He wasn’t even aware as his friends started whispering behind him, feeling Remus’ hand nudge his shoulder before he was finally knocked out of his trance. He didn’t need to turn around to know his friends were smirking at him, so he chose not to, instead getting your attention. “So uh, how do we ride them?”

You helped your friends onto the Thestrals, Remus and Lily gripping onto their creatures as much as they could while James messed around, having too much fun on riding something he couldn’t see. You had to admit, if you couldn’t see the creatures, floating in the air while feeling it beneath you would be fun. Sirius was next as you walked over to him, pointing in the direction of his Thestral. He watched you pet the mane again like you’d done with the others, only this time you grabbed Sirius’ hand and let him touch the Thestral. You covered his hand with yours and Sirius had no where to look but at the side of your face. You caught him staring, a blush making it’s way on his face as you smiled and moved to the side of the pony.

“Put your foot here.” You told Sirius, pointing to its wing joint. Sirius was hesitant but trusted you, placing his foot where he was told. You giggled as he tried to lift himself up, loosing balance and falling back onto you. “Woah, it’s okay. I got you.”

“You better not drop me, Y/N.” He joked.

“What? Me? Never.” You shared a smile before you helped him the rest of the way, not letting go of his hand you didn’t know you still had until he was seated. You took a few steps back, taking in the sight of Sirius Black perched a top a Thestral before you shook your head, letting out a shaky breath.

Lily watched you and Sirius, very disappointed in your obliviousness as you climbed onto your Thestral. “Okay Marlene, what’s the challenge exactly?” She yelled over to the one friend who wasn’t on a pony.

“Whoever stays on the longest wins! First to fall off is eliminated!” She told you all as nods went around. You told everyone how to ride, trying to remember as much as you could. You demonstrated how to hold on and how to sit properly and soon your friends and you were ready to go.

“Ready?” Marlene asked as you all prepared to take off, you ran a hand over its mane, waiting for Marlene to give the cue. “Go!” Your creature took off, soon leaving the ground as you flew into the air. Your hair flew back, wind rushing across your face as you smiled.

You threw your head back in laughter as you gripped the horse, not wanting to fall off. You turned back to see your friends, thinking they’d be in the air having fun but instead you saw James and Remus almost fighting, while Lily shook her head at their antics. The three of them were still on the ground, Sirius being the only one who managed to get into the air. He followed behind you, struggling a little but getting the hang of it real quick. The other three managed up as well and soon the challenge officially began.

It didn’t take long before Remus fell off, in fact he barely made it off the ground. James and Lily apparently couldn’t hold on either, and ten minutes later Lily fell first and James got distracted, his grip loosening enough to send him to the ground as well. Their creatures returned themselves to the ground, acting like nothing happened.

“Y/N!” Sirius called out as he flew up next to you. He pointed up in the air as you furrowed your brows. “Trust me.” He yelled before flying up past the trees, you chuckled as you followed his lead, soon getting one of the best views of Hogwarts you’d ever seen.

You paused momentarily, both you and Sirius enjoying the view together. It was that moment you forgot you were playing the games again, just being with Sirius and here of all places. It was breathtaking. “Come on, lets go higher.” You told Sirius who nodded and at the same time you both flew up, into the clouds as the wind passed by your faces, the speed of the Thestrals taking you both by surprise as you screamed. The scaredness of your voice disappeared in an instant, a cry of joy breaking free. Sirius let out a holler with you, both of you completely lost in the freedom you felt.

The moment though didn’t last as long as you hoped because Sirius lost his grip, unable to see what to grab onto as he slipped off the Thestral that was still soaring higher in the sky. For a moment he became motionless before he started falling to the ground from way high up.

Suddenly this idea of going higher seemed to be one of the worst things he’s had in a while.

“Y/N!” He screamed in hopes you heard him.

Your head whipped around when you heard Sirius’ voice and your heart felt like it stopped as you watched Sirius free fall to the ground. You turned around faster than you thought possible, reaching your hand out to Sirius. “Siri! Take my hand!” Sirius didn’t need you to tell him, but the sound of your voice was a comfort as you grabbed his hand and pulled him behind you. Sirius hung onto you for dear life, the reassurance there was something underneath him and you next him.

You didn’t breathe until you were sure Sirius was alright behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist as you put your head back onto his shoulder, leaning your head against his. Sirius buried his head in your wind-swept hair, feeling his heart beating practically in his ears.

“That was stupid.” You breathed out, feeling Sirius nod.

“Agreed.”

“We were careless.”

“Agreed.”

“That was-“

“Something we won’t tell the others?”

“Agreed.” You confirmed and heard Sirius laugh behind you. You peaked behind you, looking Sirius in the eyes and grabbing his hand. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He smiled at you, butterflies filling your stomach as you faced forwards, leading you both to the ground as Sirius tightened his grip on you, resting his chin on your shoulder as you landed. Your friends were very confused to say the least when you and Sirius were together on one Thestral.

“What happened?” Remus called out as Sirius slid off the horse, extending an arm to help you down. You took it graciously, letting him catch you in your arms.

“Uh, Y/N won.” Sirius sort of filled in, not taking his eyes off you as you planted your feet on the ground, feeling your cheeks heat up as you looked towards the ground. Only when Sirius took a step back from you did you glance up, seeing Lily smiling crazy at you. You raised your brow at her, but she waved her hand in front of her face, mouthing that you’ll talk later.

“Well, then.” Marlene spoke up, putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “I think it’s time to announce Y/N the Queen of Thestrals. Everyone agree?” Everyone laughed and said yes, Sirius in particular turning to you and mumbling the word Agreed, making you chuckle under your breath. “And Remus, I’m sorry to say, but you’re eliminated from the Jimmy Jab Games.”

“Oh thank god.” He groaned out, putting his hands on his knees and bending over. “I think I hurt my back.”

“You fell like 2 feet mate.” Sirius deadpanned as Remus played offended.

“Says you! You didn’t even fall!” Sirius looked towards you, hiding the need to laugh as you nudged him with your shoulder. Remus pointed between you and Sirius. “Did we miss something?”

“Nope. Don’t know what you’re talking about Moony.” You shrugged. You all shared laughs as you all spoke about what it was like to ride, Marlene conflicted about whether to feel jealous or relieved she wasn’t riding an invisible creature. You felt Lily pull you ahead, glancing back to everyone as you looked at her confused. “Lily, what’s with you? Are you feeling alright?” you asked her, putting a hand to her forehead to pretend to take her temperature.

She swatted it away with an eye roll, locking arms with you. “I was just wondering when you were going to tell Sirius you’re in love with him.” She said, trying to get you in the same conversation she had with Sirius last night. “How long do you plan on just flirting with him?”

Her words took you by surprise as you stared at her, unaware of Sirius’ eyes on you despite not being able to hear the conversation as he smiled. “What on earth are you talking about Lily? Flirting? Sirius and I don’t flirt.”

“Oh, you don’t?”

“Of course not! And I’m not in love with him, we’re just friends!”

“Oh, you’re friends? Then forget I ever mentioned it.” She told you, bumping your shoulder with hers. She didn’t say more, the conversation seemingly ending as you couldn’t think anymore. Lily wasn’t right. You and Sirius were just friends- best friends. He was your rock. You weren’t in love with him.

Right?

A/N: Please leave feedback because I thrive on it!

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