#likely because they experienced the same bs prior to transitioning

[zoobiefish]

Me when a man calls me “sweetie”: 😐😬🙄😡🖕

Me when a woman calls me “sweetie”: 🥺💞👉👈

[leda-confessions-and-opinions]

Amb’s Mooncallers 2 Review: Chapters 1-10

I’m going to go into detail about Mooncallers: Shadows Burn, so if you haven’t read through Ch 10 yet, don’t read this post! Likewise, don’t spoil beyond these chapters.  If you would like to check out my chapter reviews for the first book, Mooncallers: Stars Wake, here are the links! (Ch 1-10 review) (Ch 11-20 review) (Ch 21-30 review). Now, for the return of the long boi.

I must give credit where credit is due.  These first ten chapters flow infinitely better than the first ten chapters in her first book.  To me, the main reason why the flow is so much smoother is because Leda took the time to flesh out the opening scene, thus giving it purpose and allowing it to develop in the sequential chapters.  After jumping overboard and being saved by the Divines, Luxea and Ares are trapped on Mythos, an island home to the Mythics, and prior to their arrival, has never been visited by outsiders.  Given a stable setting, Leda can develop Luxea, Ares, and comfortably introduce a new tag-along character, Shir, an agender being of crystal, like the other Mythics. I think Luxea and Ares are gaining a bit more substance to them, and from what it seems, their relationship will probably develop into something more.  Likewise, Leda can make the setting turn unstable from Widow’s invasion.  Luxea is able to mitigate the invasion by suddenly developing a greater control of her magic abilities.  

From the first book, I was left really unsatisfied by Widow as this “great evil” since I thought her character was very telling-more-than-showing.  I also felt like the way the “evil” was introduced in the story occurred all-at-once, instead of a gradual growth.  In Ch 5, we gain insight into Widow’s intent for destruction:

“’Why are you doing this?’ [Luxea]

Widow’s wicked grin flattened, and then something else appeared. Pain. Human pain. ‘Because I hate you,’ was all She said.

That statement would forever weigh on Luxea.” (p. 60-1)

Again, I’m left kind of meh-ed. The idea of a goddess experiencing human pain is interesting, but I want more.  We also learn that Widow has stolen another goddess and is burned whenever she touches Luxea due to something that Oscerin gifted her with.  This invasion leaves Shir as the only Mythic left alive, so they joins Luxea and Ares on their voyage back to Tzapodia.  The chapters regarding the civil/political unrest in Tzapodia are interlaced well with the chapters regarding Mythos, allowing for a smooth setting transition.

 After Ares discovers that a general was using the Prince’s presumed death for political advantage, he forcefully removes him from the Mooncaller Council and inducts Luxea as the “Seer of Tzapodia” due to Oscerin’s ability to “see” through Luxea.  This new position is met by slight antipathy by some members (since essentially, they think that her position is bs and was rewarded to her just because Ares likes Luxea which tbh I kinda agree with), but both Ares and Luxea end these opinions as soon as they surface.  Otherwise, wholesome moments occur with Shir, the reunion of the Mooncallers, a baby’s birth, and the recovery of Runa’s mom.  At times these moments are a bit slow/played out for me, but it’s the beginning of the book, so it’s okay.  

 As the story’s flow has definitely gotten better, I still have some qualms with the flow of the writing. It’s not an insane problem, but it happens often enough that it has made itself apparent in her writing style, and that is the return of the “Theasuraus.com” words.  Here’s why I’m being nitpicky about them: it’s not because I don’t like big words in my books, but because I think it really interrupts the flow or emotions of a scene.  It’s weird though because these larger words are intermingled with more “simple” words and phrases, causing an odd mix overall.  

Here are some lines where I thought a “Theasuraus.com” word was unnecessary.

- “’Yes,’ said Shir unambiguously. (p. 64) When I first read it, I didn’t really remember what “unambiguously” meant so I stopped and looked it up.  I think just saying “with certainty” would’ve sufficed.

- “Luxea sat down and harked [Ares’] spitting and the chain on his neck scraping the stone.” (p. 63) Instead of “listened to”.

- “Luxea grinned ebulliently.” (p.76) Again, I had to stop and look up what the word meant. “Enthusiastically” would’ve suffice.

- “Keeper Vessias soon came to worship Luxea. Before now, he’d been the only scholarly member of the council. That isn’t to say that all brains around the table weren’t impressive, but she was the perfect balance between pedagogic and frivolous.” (p. 106) Literally if you google “scholarly,” “pedagogic” is a synonym, but its definition and the way I’ve heard it used strictly relates to “teaching.” Teaching isn’t involved in this scene; thus, I feel like Leda used the “big word” without really knowing what it means. Also, frivolous doesn’t relate to pedagogy, so idk what Leda’s going for.

- Brielle had a response somewhere that I thought was also weird, but I can’t find it

There is also no inner dialogue in the book, thus the words used to describe the manner in which the characters present their dialogue is pivotal to how they express themselves, and sometimes these words fall flat.  Additionally, there are times when I think a character’s dialogue is a bit out of place.

Example: [Ares]: “’Because of that, [Luxea] will be, from this day forth, counterpart of the Speaker under the title of ‘Seer of Tzapodia.’ Do you accept, Miss Siren?’…There just wasn’t a more difficult ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question…With her tongue wrung out of words, she hummed, ‘Mhm.’” (p.94-5)

The wordiness and unclarity of passages have really subsided though, which is great, and the weird similes/metaphors that Leda used a ton in the first book aren’t present in the second book.  The only lines that I thought were odd were, “his pleas were sugar to Widow” (p.60) and “Isaak’s stare inflicted frostbite” (p. 73).

Finally, Leda mentioned in her live stream that to avoid writer’s block, she would jump around to a different chapter instead of finishing them off sequentially. Because of this (possibly?), I felt like Leda would reintroduce certain characters and places over and over again. For example, every time Runa is mentioned, her backstory of being a freed child courtesan is mentioned, and after the fourth time it gets really repetitive.  The same happens with Avari being referenced as Luxea’s mentor.  Lastly, just as it happened with Ares, Luxea gets her name mispronounced (p. 114), which again I think is just a jab at how the reader reads her name.

Overall, I think a lot is introduced in these first 10 chapters (25% of the book) that can be well-developed later on.  I hope you enjoyed this review!  Feel free to submit your own outtake on the novel or comments about what I just said! Overall, I give this section of chapters a 3.5/5 stars!

Amb

[daniedoodles]

Danie’s Dilemmas Ep. 26: Books Closed

Today of all days, I’ll Always Remember You by Hannah Montana could not be taken more seriously. It’s the last day of senior year. In spite of how much I anticipated to cry on this day, I actually didn’t, possibly because I’ve thought about it so often for the last two months (or maybe it’s because my last diploma isn’t until this Thursday so really, everyone’s last day is slightly different). I have so much to say, but none all at once. This has been said time and time again, but I feel like for most of high school, we had the tendency to take it for granted; we all wanted to drop out or give up at some point because it just felt like there was nothing about our experiences that implied that eventually, it would get better. All those times complaining about homework or cramming for exams... except now that it’s over, we can’t help but focus on the good parts about it that have also come to an end, most of which were moments spent with friends doing dumb shit lmao. 2019 so far has proven to be one of the most bizarre years thus far. I’ve spent time with people that I never thought I would get the chance to, endured the most UNserious exam season, and now, the most UNserious last day of school. Since I was not remotely prepared to face the last day in terms of taking the opportunity to formally thank all of the people that made high school as fun as it has been, I thought I’d kill two birds with one stone and mention them on this episode :) And yes, I will be mentioning names. We’re NOT in high school anymore so there’s no need to play guessing games. 

Vicky: I never know how to start these things without making it sound cringey or sappy, but bitch we have been THROUGH it. Regardless of how we’ve managed to not get into a single class together throughout the entire three years we’ve spent in high school, we somehow managed to stay hella close which you should know by now, I am incredibly grateful for. I haven’t exactly been as active with the group, but that’s only because I know we have all of summer ahead of us to make up for it. Just know that I’m always going to be here to be the voice of reason, but also your partner in crime. We’ve laughed too loud and cried too hard over the dumbest shit, taken bomb ass photos and eaten too much food. I’m so excited for what other dumb shit we can do together. When you’re out on your own adventures, pls text me so I know you’re not dead. I love you, my favourite rat. OwO

Alex: Whew, sis. We came together on the oddest terms, talking about failed love interests and all that bs, but aren’t you glad that it happened? Otherwise, we wouldn’t have had that deep talk at the ridge, wouldn’t have realized how similar we were in terms of how bad we are with gaining closure lmao. I’ve never felt more comfortable to cry as hard as I have about the death of a fictional character as I have been with you, and that speaks volumes because I hate crying in front of other people. Last summer was by far one of the best summers I have ever experienced and I’m grateful to have spent a majority of it with you. Thanks for saving my ass when I snuck out of the house that one time and for staying up and feeding me after I got back from being out until 3am. Now that school’s out, let’s get on that mf tanning grinddddddd. ily bitch. I swear, I feel like I have I lot more to say for you but right now I’m coming up blank. But I feel like you already know what else there is that I have to say... if not, I’m saving it for your birthday (hurry up and be 18 already goddamn). 

Laureen: Laureen you already know we’re on the same wavelength lmao. Even though I feel like I see you the least of all in the group, it’s comforting to know that it doesn’t lessen the integrity (sorry to give u ptsd from the diploma) of our friendship. Being born on days that are so close together really be hitting us different. I swear, there have been so many times where we’re just thinking about the exact same thing, which is both cool and creepy. LIKE OUR GOD TALKS OMF. Seeing that we’re both the moms of the group, we gotta stick together to take care of our crackhead children. But fr, I trust you with everything. My future children, my own life, my phone, my butler ;) How are you not my emergency contact, honestly? We need to have a car talk and see what comes out of that. There is so much more I have to fill you in on. (also don’t forget about clubbing next Thursday eeooow). 

Joscelynn: Let me tell you, Joscelynn, how big of a blessing it is to have you live so close to me. Out of everything that you’ve done for me, I think the one I’m most grateful for is for the time that you “broke” into my house to check if I unplugged my straightener LMAOO... or that time when you just hugged me while I was breaking down in the washroom at the end of the day where I had a test for all four periods. As much as I don’t know who most of your tea is about, it’s nice to know that you’re comfortable to confide in me and the whole group about all kinds of things, even when we don’t ask for the kind of detail you provide HAHAHAHA. Also, thanks for always coming in clutch with all the board games. Much love, Pennywise. <3

Diane: I know we sort of hit a wall with our friendship at one point, but I’m really happy that we were still able to recover from it and rekindle our friendship. I understand that the circumstance is all different now, and we aren’t as attached to one another as we once were back in junior high, but I think there’s some good in that because we were able to grow at our own pace. Although we have to admit that we did grow a little bit apart as well in the process, I like that we are both still able to reminisce fondly on the moments we’ve shared in the past. You’re one of the brightest minds I know :). I feel like I never told you enough but I always appreciated how easily you could bring a smile to people’s faces. Yeah, keep doing it. If you ever need to vent, I’m only a 4-minute scooter ride away. 

Anna: Holy shit sis, idek where to begin. You’re by far the biggest reason why I was able to haul my ass through to the end of high school. If you didn’t look out for my water intake, or the little errors in my calculations... I don’t even want to imagine it. You’ve done so much for me and have had to endure all of my shit that I can’t encapsulate it all into a single letter. I can’t thank you enough for all the memes that have made me piss myself on countless occasions, no matter how old they were nor how often I would look back on it, for recommending me to the program that will finally release me from the constraints of the status of being a “broke ass bitch”, for staying up with me discussing all kinds of things from the environment and ethics, to fortunes, astrology, love, and TEA. We’ve both seen each other at our most vulnerable and beaten down state (which is literally every English class), and we’ve celebrated each other’s triumphs, but most importantly, laughed at our failures (English, again omg). I can’t help but get emotional whenever I think of how you’re gonna be leaving soon for UBC, but it’s not like that’s going to affect how often we keep in touch anyways lol. We can’t just have the kettle always overflow, you know? Fr tho, I’m big fucking sad about you leaving, but I’m also so proud of how far you’ve come. I really don’t know how tf I’m supposed to be able to cope with suddenly not seeing you everyday. Ugh, ew I’m crying now but as I was saying, thank you for everything. I can’t wait to get those dream recorders out on the market after we’ve gathered all the knowledge on neuro/psych and business so we don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night and write out the dreams in our notes anymore. I’ll miss you a fuck ton ON GOD. 

Cheyenne: Cheyenne!! I’m so glad I met you and Anna when I did :)) we made the best chemistry lab group, we basically made titration our mf bitch. There was always so much comfort in knowing that we were all on the same page about not getting assignments done on time for English lmao. You just hear that sigh of absolute relief. I’m happy to have become close enough with you for you to be able to trust me with all the stuff you’ve spilt, and for reading your cards when you need them read. I can’t wait for all of us to actually do shit together this summer, I don’t even understand how we let the summers prior pass us like that. In all seriousness though, Cheyenne, you’re so kind and genuine, I’m glad we’ve gotten a lot closer this year. After summer, I guess I’ll be seeing you around campus!! 

Yuan: Bitch, hay nako. Where to start? I don’t think I’ve ever been quiet OR in a bad mood after hanging out with you. I’m glad that I was able to count on you to distract me from getting any work done in class and for getting photos of mee sleeping. Grabe, nakakabwiset HAHAHAHA. Actually though, I don’t think we’ve been close-close up until recently but I’m still so happy that we are now kasi ang saya mong kasama. Not a lot of people can convince me to speak Tagalog so already that says something. Basta, I’ll keep this short cause it’s not like we’re not seeing each other over the summer. We’ve got a lot of time to make more memories. Pwede nang uminom (thank God). Thanks for all the laughs, and for keeping up with the bullshit I write on this page lol. 

Joaquin: Hey, “best friend” wassup?? We haven’t been close for long either. In fact, we’ve barely just hit the 2-week mark of our friendship. But I will say that that was the most last minute transition from acquaintance - close friend. Even though we’ve been in at least one class together during each of the three years, we weren’t necessarily on active talking terms... until now. Thus far, every moment I’ve spent with you and Yuan, or just you, have all been for the books. I don’t think I’ve laughed as much as I had on that one day that we went to Southcentre. Already I can say that you’re one of the greatest people I know: generous, kindhearted, hilarious, and with a great taste in music. I’m excited for whatever it is that ends up happening in the summer, spontaneous or planned, I can’t wait. :D Ps. Thanks for getting me out of the house lol.

Jay: James, bruh. We haven’t been in touch lately, but I feel like you already know what’s coming to you, considering a majority of my indirects to you are basically just going to get reiterated right at this moment. Always know that I genuinely appreciate all of the deep talks we’ve had in the past and that you’re one of the few people I trust to openly express my thoughts to. I hope everything with tennis continues to go well, and that we get to catch up soon ‘cause lowkey it has been TOO long since we’ve last talked-talked.  

Maxine: Max, by the time you’re back on social media, you’re probably never gonna see this because it’s going to be buried so deep into my feed and I know that you’re too lazy to scroll that far down, but I’m gonna write it anyway. We’ve been friends for awhile now, and only now, in our second semester of senior year, did we manage to get into the same class ever since junior high, and it’s safe to say that there has never been a dull moment with you... to the point where I’m pretty sure we made the teacher hate us. I don’t know why you were so set on saying goodbye today when we literally live in the same community and have each other’s numbers, but aight lol. Max, you really be the OG out here. Every time we talk we can’t help but reminisce on how much we sucked ass at opening our own lockers in grade 7 and to this day it still cracks me tf up. Thank you for dealing w my bs after all this time, and for letting me stay at your place before and after school in junior high. ily  

Jerry and Cam: Y’all we go WAYYY back. Even though you guys didn’t attend school at bob, I still wanted to make a point of thanking the both of you for reconnecting. Plus, this is one of the few opportunities I have to acknowledge the support of my audience (LMFAO) so I thought “why not?”. We’ve only hung out once since February (or March? idek), but that’s definitely gotta change now that we’ve got a lot more free time. Y’all know where to find me when you need advice/opinions/someone to talk to when you’re bored/a tour guide to the boring south lmao (or maybe not that.. I lack street smarts). 

That’s it. I’m also probably going to email my teachers because I did not have the time nor the energy to do anything before the last day of school so that’s how they’re going to get it. Is this what it means to be eco-friendly?? Writing emails instead of actual handwritten cards??? I mean.. okay I guess. 

In conclusion, ending the senior year is bittersweet. If there’s anything I’ve learned from going through it all, it’s that you should get all your shit over with in your grade 10 and 11 years, so you’ll be cruisin by senior year. Also, don’t deprive yourself of hanging out with friends. That shit sucks ass and you’ll regret it a lot. 

ps. just because high school is ending, does NOT mean that this is the end of Danie’s Dilemmas. You really think the tea’s gonna stop there??

For now. 

Keep up. 

x

[sarcasmncriticism-blog]

2017.

I haven’t blogged in years.  When you go through things, the very thing you’re passionate about becomes obsolete.  For the last few years, I’ve become somewhat reclusive.  My life has changed COMPLETELY from 3 years ago.  With 2017 coming to an end, I needed to write--document--the year I’ve had. So here’s a snapshot of the experiences and lessons learned during my 2017.

I attempted to start the year fresh and work on my family....that lasted 3 weeks.  I finally made the decision to cease my efforts for good in January 2017.  

I endured verbal and mental abuse.

I learned to deal with humiliation.

My apartment flooded in March.

This was the year of the SHOW for me: 2 Chris Brown shows, Bruno Mars, Jay-Z, Vic Mensa, Jagged Edge, The Internet, OT Genesis, Future, 2Chainz, Gucci Mane, Chance the Rapper, Pastor Troy, Monica, Boosie...and a plethora of others I don’t feel like remembering.  Just know I was #ConcertBae2017.

I was laid off with no valid reasoning in May, 2 days before I was supposed to close on new house. It was BS but I get it.  My boss didn’t like that I questioned her business practices.  As the only licensed person on her staff, I told her point blank I wasn’t risking my license to scam people out of money.

I got another job within 30 days and was fired 10 business days later - again with no explanation....again before closing on a new condo. (I was determined to be a homeowner this year lol)

Then I was hired 3 days later and with that job came respect and responsibility.  My salary increased, I have staff, I am in charge of a million dollar account. It’s annoying truthfully but being a lower level employee doesn’t suit me (Obviously-I’ve been fired 3 times lol)

My cousin was murdered in August.

A month later, my friend Seth (#TeamFirkForever) passed away in his sleep.

3 weeks later my grandmother passed away in her sleep.

I experienced being handcuffed for the first time by a cop determined to find narcotics in my car. He found nothing of course - but he had done the SAME thing to me the week prior as I was passing through Ellijay. Harassment! I was with 2 black men.  I don’t know if he thought we were running drugs since we were out of town or what but I definitely felt targeted - which is TERRIFYING nowadays.

I watched almost everyone get engaged or married as I started over and felt nothing but happiness for them.

I evaluated the environment my child was in and realized it was unnecessarily toxic.  More determined than ever to get a new place.

I took a trip with a childhood friend to Colorado and it was AMAZING!

I grew tired of bitter arguments and adopted a nonresponse approach (I only respond if a legitimate question is asked).

I was sued by a scammer for 1000s who caused an accident.  It was technically my fault for ‘following’ too closely even though we were at a complete stop prior to collision (they need to change that law).  Not a serious wreck. maybe $1000 worth of damage between the 2 cars (that’s being generous). Told my insurance company I had video of the man telling me about his pre-existing health issues - which he claimed I caused in the accident.  My insurance company paid him anyway.  I have a new insurance company now. :-) 

I’ve grown closer to my inner circle.

Benihana became a fav.

I dealt with the person who was supposed to care about me telling lies to family and friends in an effort to save their own face from their indiscretions.  It only worked on their family though.  Nobody believes that BS and if they do, I hope their 2018 is blessed as they continue life with no rationale.

I no longer can deal with anyone who cannot take responsibility for their actions.  

I had a close friend go through a divorce and another who faced the reality her partner was a mooch and cheater.  We became each other’s support throughout our personal devastations. The 3 of us are in a better place.

I kicked myself in the face everyday for giving up on my dreams in order to have a successful family-only to get fucked over.  I kept myself from becoming bitter as I see the very people that I helped in the music industry become more successful than myself within the field. (On the independent shit...traded it all for a husband and some kids....and it was a major fail).

THE ECLIPSE!! I felt something spiritual happening in the universe. Incredible experience.

My Macbook screen cracked (thank God for insurance).

Age is no longer a viable excuse for being an adult and conducting yourself in a completely idiotic fashion. I will distance myself from you immediately.

I stopped conversing with people who added nothing to my life.

I lost 20 pounds due to stress. Trying to gain that back.

I saved one my best friend’s life.  Scariest moment of the year for sure.

I realized, I’ve outgrown most of my family and friends.  I’m more career driven and I love working towards success.  The average person doesn’t think like that and it’s sad.  I can’t stay around those type of people because I become “boujee” in their eyes. lol 

Depression was a thing for me this year.

I’ve grown extremely impatient with people who do nothing or live mediocre lifestyles.  I can’t deal with it.  It irritates me when I can’t say “hey let’s take a flight to NY next month and hang out” or “let’s go to the cabins for the weekend” and everybody is crying broke in advance.  Stop working retail jobs in yall mid-late 20s.  Let the teenagers have them. I’m not saying this to come down on people but I’m sick of seeing #goals on the most basic things on social media and they’re still not achieved (ex: pics of like 10 friends showing their passports-YOU CAN GET A PASSPORT AND TAKE A TRIP!) This does not apply to those in transition.  This applies to those who are complacent.

I applied for my master’s but couldn’t start in January as planned. I need 2 additional business classes first.  I’ll save up and pay for those out of pocket.

I’m over people who’ve been in school for 17 years with no certifications or degrees.  They inadvertently become leeches. More doing. Less talking.

I will never settle again due to loneliness. Loneliness is a vacation compared to a toxic relationship.

I recognized how condescending I come off, but it comes from a good place. Working on my delivery in 2018.

In 2018, I will pressure those remaining in my life to progress.  I will challenge everyone to better themselves and their surroundings.  Things are tough-especially if you’re doing it alone (respect to all single mothers and fathers).  I’ve had it tough this whole year (really the last 3) but I didn’t break.  I didn’t decide to live off the government, friends, men, parents or grandparents.  I didn’t go into some hole and replay all decisions that led me to this point.  I encourage everyone to set goals and go after them.  Make short term goals to catapult you toward your longterm goal. Life derailed my plans but life is an obstacle course.  I went through so many life/personal changes and so many challenges in a city where I have only ONE cousin. DASSIT! No local support system whatsoever.  This is not to highlight the bad.  Difficulties develop character. 

Learning happens when pain is the teacher. Some of the greatest lessons come from empty pockets, hungry stomachs, and broken hearts. - Bishop Bronner.

Happy New Year!