#like...I typed this all up in maybe 45-50 minutes

[hawkfawun]

griffguts: 2, 4, 14, 45 (was tempted to add 50 but lol we know the answer to that one)

2. Who wakes up early/Who sleeps in late?

I think they both are pretty good at waking up early, but Griffith wakes up early slightly less cranky. One of the first things we see is him running around all energetic and playful early. after a night of drinking too, so I would have to say him. Maybe he's just that lucky type of person who doesn't need much sleep. Or he can just go for a few days before it hits him and he's out for like 12 hours.

4. Who initiates affection? Why does the other not initiate affection as much?

Oh this is a tough one. I feel like in a lot of scenes Griffith is the one who is the most forward with flirting so I’d say him at first. I think that Guts gets pretty comfortable with being affectionate eventually though. It just takes time because he’s more skittish about touch in general. I think him initiating affection more often would be a good sign he’s feeling secure, and Griffith would love it too.

14. Do they enjoy PDA, or are they more private with affection?

Secret answer of they *think* they aren't PDA and very discreet, but they are not at all. Everyone who spends more than like 10 minutes with them can tell they are in some sort of relationship. They’d think it passes as like a joke or playful and Judau will glare at anyone who points out the obvious.

45. How do they support each other? How do they rely on each others support?

Mostly they support each other through actions not words. They'll always believe in the other's abilities and place faith in each other. Obviously they’d also throw down their lives for each other in a heartbeat. I would like to think that eventually, if things went differently they would learn to support each other emotionally more. I don't think either of them would go from being completely unable to do it at all to awesome at it, but literally ANYTHING would be a massive improvement from communicating almost nothing. I think once romantic feelings are out on the table they wouldn’t be super shy with telling the other they care when they need to hear it.

I also think one way Guts would support Griffith is just listening to him vent about all the stupid political bullshit he deals with. I have a feeling he lets Griffith talk about whatever and is a good listener who keeps everything private.

Lmao yes we know the answer to 50. Griffith does not handle a break-up very well! 🥲

Thanks for asking!

[badtitude]

≡ LOVE SPELL !! LEE JEONGHYEON

(in which his cute awkward loser personality just makes you want him more ๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵) : 1543 words : fluff + first date : idk if this is too loser bf for jh but i genuinely do feel like he’s the loser bf of all time.

usually you would hate this type of situation, making up any dumb excuse to free yourself from the uncomfortable encounter you were experiencing, but he’s kind of… cute?

if you’re being completely honest you have no idea what he’s saying to you. you weren’t even going to listen to him in the first place but he stopped you and now he’s blushing, looking at everything except at you. you want to kindly decline whatever he is trying to advertise and go about your day but his soft smile is keeping you stuck on his face.

“could i get your number maybe?” he clears his throat sharply, and his eyes finally land on yours. maybe because he’s towering over you, but his gaze almost seems intense, it catches you off guard making you subconsciously look away.

“sure.” you reach out your hand for him to hand you his phone and he does, watching you type in your details before handing him back the phone.

the second he takes it from your hand you flash a small smile at him excusing yourself, you notice his lips curve up as he sees your smile, followed by a quiet “bye”.

you would go on with your day expecting nothing more from the encounter, accepting it as the small highlight of the day and ready to move on to other things but it wasn’t that simple.

[9:45 pm]

unknown: hey, we met earlier tbh i wanted to ask you out but you seemed in a hurry so i didn’t but i thought i’d just try again, my name’s jeonghyeon btw

the text lights up your phone on your desk as you studied, you’re able to ignore it for a couple minutes before grabbing to check what it was. your eyebrows furrow in utter confusion as you read the text. your first thought is “how did he get my number?”, because while you did type a number into his phone you were confident it wasn’t yours, you never give out your number so easily.

you look at the text again trying to remember what exactly had happened, the way things look you may have typed your actual number mindlessly, consequently putting yourself in this position.

maybe it isn’t such a bad situation, he seemed nice, and he was your type but that was never the issue. you set rules for yourself because of past experiences, it is easy getting tangled but what comes after is never what you expect.

you stare at the text, a million thoughts of the multitude of possibilities run through your mind then you hit send.

[9:50 pm]

y/n: where are you taking me?

jeonghyeon: oh you’re actually interested?

jeonghyeon: it���ll be a surprise but i promise you’ll enjoy it.

you set your phone down trying to push down the slight curve at the corner of your lips, you don’t feel like thinking of what could happen. you read something earlier in the week about trusting the universe, and all these coincidences seem so conveniently placed.

he tells you the details for your upcoming date and you can barely hide your excitement as you stare at the little bubbles of text forming on the screen. you had been trying to keep this feeling away because of how well you knew it and how easily it could come crashing down but you didn’t want to give up on it just yet.

something about his own uncertainty, slight hesitations, obvious inexperience throughout the conversation makes talking to him feel so comfortable, you feel so drawn to everything he is.

before you know it you’re meeting him again, leaving all the unfamiliar texting behind. he made sure to keep the details of the date a secret in the few texts you shared, occasionally asking about your interests in the least discreet ways. you can’t hide your eagerness, neither can you ignore the lump forming at your throat as the time approaches, you want to be right about trusting him.

a light buzz in your hand notifies you of his presence, you make your way out of your housing complex, glancing around for his familiar face.

he spots you first right at the entrance of your building, eyes down on your phone before taking a look around. a soft tap on the shoulder, and you turn around to his soft smile that had you hooked the first time you met.

“hi.” he breathes out, his smile growing as he glances away for a second. you could feel your doubts melt away at the sight.

“hi.” you smile back.

“i didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked so i got you this instead.” he says handing you a lollipop, you stare at the small stick in his hand for a second genuinely amused by his train of thought.

“thanks” you reach for the small snack, your fingers slightly grazing his fist as you do. you look up at him confused he’s still holding onto the sweet.

“can i hold your hand?” he asks softly as his fingers gently wrap around yours, you blink at him completely taken aback.

“sure.”

he finally lets you take the candy out of his hand, watching you put it away, ready to take your hand in his once it is free again.

the whole walk feels so dreamlike, you don’t remember the last time you had held hands with someone and you could feel your heart thundering in your chest. with every glance he makes in your direction, every smile that is a result of something you did or said, you feel your self physically and emotionally drawn to him.

it’s an odd feeling after experiencing so much heartbreak, because you start to question if anyone of those experiences had even begun with this great feeling. and suddenly it feels like you had been running away from something you never even felt.

“you like video games right?”

you nod eagerly looking at the array of vintage video games spread across the store, lights flashing all around as you walk through the arcade together.

“how did you even know? did i tell you?” you look up at him curiously stopping in your tracks.

“i like you, of course i’ll pay attention to the things you like.” he chuckles, you notice his hand reach for your head as if to pat you gently but instead he takes it back to rub the back of his neck.

“what was that?” you laugh, your hand over your mouth, as you watch him groan into his hands out of embarrassment.

gradually you start testing out the games together, going up against each other on 1 v 1 games where you win most of the time. you go from playing street fighter against 13 year olds and proudly making them loose to playing zombie games in a booth together.

he listens as you blabber about your experience with video games, you tell him all the boring stuff that you had learnt because of your strong interest. not for a second does he seem uninterested, you glance over at him and your eyes meet. you wonder in that second if it’s reasonable to feel this many butterflies on a first date. he tilts his head confused by your sudden stare, and now you’re the one shying away from his gaze.

after the arcade, you head to a fast restaurant close by to find something to clench the appetite. you find a booth and sit opposite each other, with a quick scan through the menu you’ve made your choices.

“you’re honestly not bad at games. be honest did you practice before?” he lets out a light chuckle in disbelief, the smile lingers as his gaze shifts away.

“i didn’t but i wish i did.” you giggle quietly, he watches your eyelids close curving the same way as your smile. he tries to catch it each time because of how genuine your smile is, he can’t help smiling at the sight of it.

the first thing he’d noticed the first time he saw you was that smile, though you shared it with someone else it was still a precious sight. from then on he kept noticing you and he would have kept the distance but he noticed your smile wearing off.

hallway crushes are fun when they stay as that, just hallway interactions, but he missed seeing you laugh, smile, giggle. so he took it upon himself to make it happen, even though he knew nothing about you. he wanted to know so he could be the one to make you smile.

“i feel like you’re not listening to me.” you pick a piece of his fries slightly annoyed by his silence during your rant about soggy fries.

“yeah sorry your angelic beauty is so distracting.” you stare at him in disbelief, searching for words to say but nothing comes to mind. he lets out a deep sigh, realizing how corny he sounded, making you burst out laughing head against the table.

“thanks.” his face brightens up at the sound of those words, “the compliment was sweet but i meant for today, i had a really nice time with you.”

“we can totally continue to have nice times together… if you want that.”

[23yearold-virginslut]

Compiled a list of questioned & am answering them to the best of my ability 😇

Answers in pink 💗

Doesn't Apply in red ❣️

1. When was the last time you masturbated

30 minutes ago

2. Do you enjoy being fingered/fingering

Yes!

3. How do you feel about food during sex

Depends on what food & how its being used

4. What do you do directly after sex

Unsure, but depending on the time, i'd probably sleep

5. Cuddle with the tip in

10000%

6. What’s the nastiest sexual thing you’ve done

As of right now, I'd say masturbating (legs spread open on the dash)in my college parking lot

7. Name a follower you would fuck

I'm not going to name names, but you know who you are. Send me the message

8. Name a follower you have fucked.

None... yet

9. What’s the sexiest part of your body

I'd say my ass (especially with handprints on it)

10. FuckMarryKill: DJ Khalid, Rick Ross, Fat Joe

F- Rick Ross M- DJ Khalid K- Fat Joe

11. Would you ever be with a trans person

I think it depends, I wouldn't say yes or no solely because they're trans

12. Riding dick or doggy style

I'd say doggy, especially because I can have my hair pulled, hands pulled behind my back & I can have my ass slapped harder than when I'm riding a dick.

13. Ever fucked in a school

Nope, well... I've fucked myself in my car. That's it

14. Most random place youve had sex

Nowhere right now

15. Would you join the mile high club

Absolutely I would!

16. What are 3 of your "hawt" spots

Tits, throat/back of neck & pussy

17. Fuck on the first date

Maybe not the 1st time meeting, but the 1st date would be okay

18. Would you suck dick

ABSOLUTELY!!! 😝

19. Would you eat ass

I would try it, but am unsure

20. Would you eat pussy

Yes & I've done it before 😍😍

21. Kissing, Y or N?

Fuck yes, even better if it's needy & rough

22. Is farting during sex a turn off

I have no idea. Maybe if it was in my face. Otherwise, I don't think that it's a prooblem

23. Sex in the shower, Y or N

Definitely 💦

24. When virginity lost

Not yet 🫣

25. Do you prefer sex in the morning, afternoon, or night?

I would love getting fucked 1st thing in the morning or... maybe during the middle of lunch.. but there's also after our day stress fuck. Maybe all of the above

26. Drunk sex

Sure, maybe with consent 1st. Bit I am a huge fan of intox & would love it.

27. High sex

I've never been high, but would try it

28. FuckMarryKill: Nicki Minaj; Cardi B; Kash Doll

F- Kash Doll M- Nicki Minaj K-Cardi B

29. First kiss

Sophomore year of high school with my bf at the time

30. How did you meet the person you lost your virginity to?

Haven't yet

31. Faked an orgasm

Nope

32. Painted/ been painted on

Yes & written on

33. Sex toys, Y or N

Absolutely, they are tools to be used, not an enemy.

34. Favorite position

Tied up/ tied down or hands behind my back getting pounded into the mattress or ground.

35. Bed, couch or floor

Edge of the bed or over couch arm

36. Car sex, Y or N

If we'd fit sure. Or we could fuck with the door open and you railing me into the seats off the side of the road.

37. Whyd you get horny

For just about any reason. Typically because I opened tumblr or was reading smut

38. FuckMarryKill: Trey Songz, Chris Brown, August Alsina.

F- Chris Brown M- August Alsina K- Trey Songz

39. Describe crush

I don't have one rn

40. Would you ever be with someone with an incurable STD?

I would say no..

41. Rate head game

7/10 - there's room for improvement for sure

42. Rate your sex

Rn, 0/10

43. Would you date outside of your race

Yeah

44. Type of freak you are

Bratty, CNC, Hypno, Dirty, Cum guzzling slut

45. Ever tasted your own cum

Well, I've tasted my juices & self, I've not cum before.

46. Golden showers

Yes

47. Body count

0, zero, nada, none

48. Nipple play

Yes!!

49. Where do you like to be nutted on

Preferably in, but if anywhere my face or tits

50. Topping or bottoming

Bottoming, for sure

51. Whats too small

My sex life

52. Is fighting foreplay

Fuck yes

53. Angry sex

Hell yes!

54. Quickie length

Before someone notices

55. Too long during sex

Never, I love overstim

56. Too long to go without

I can't answer that in good health

57. Is no relevant in a relationship

Yes & no, it depends on the question it's in response to..

58. NSA sex real or no

Real AF

59. Sex in a public bathroom

Yeah, sounds like it could be an experience

60. Sex in a changing room

Yeah, just cum in me. Don't leave anything for employees to clean up.

61. Last person ive fucked

🫣 I havent

62. My type

I honestly don't know.

63. 3 turn ons

Tattoos, Filthy Dirty Nasty Naughty talk, & Teasing

64. 3 turn offs

Gore, Feet & Permanent Harm

65. What makes you stop in the middle of sex

I'm not sure

66. Answer a phone during sex

I would, and I'd try to act normal

67. Would you pay for sex

Maybe, probably not though

69. How i felt after sex

... 👀

70. Like your body

I do, I've been trying to lose weight, but otherwise absolutely.

71. Send nudes

Only when deserved... not often

72. Cheated on someone

Absolutely not

73. Cheated on

I have been

74. 3some

PRETTY PLEASE 🙏

75. 4some

PRETTY PLEASE 🙏

76. Orgy

PRETTY PLEASE 🙏

77. Run train on me

PRETTY PLEASE 🙏

78. How often do i masterbate

At least once a day, mostly before bed while scrolling

79. Lights on or off

Lights on

80. Music or TV

Music

81. Cousin you'd fuck

Nope.. hate that

82. Last relationship

During covid, she didn't want to come out & wanted to keep our "friendship" hidden.

83. Sleep naked

Hell yeah, how else is some stalker/stranger supposed to know I want it when im asleep

84. Commando

I have to wear pants a lot, so no.

85. Nipples pierced

I wouldn't want to, but I love sucking on a pierced titty

86. Dive in or converse first

Depends on the person, but I'm more of an action person

87. First move once naked

Drop to my knees..

88. Would you make the first move

I would, but only when I'm super horny.. which is very very often.

89. Have you ever had sex with more than one person in a day

I would like to, maybe at the same time

90. Do you like dryhumping

Yes, I love it

91. Can you twerk or do a split on a dick

I haven't tried the splits on a dick and I haven't tried twerking in about 2 years. Idk if it's any good

92. Would you ever record yourself during sex

I would love to, I think it would be great & even more fun to do masturbate to while he/she degrades me for it.

93. Would you watch porn during sex

Not yet, but would love to

94. After fucking, do you try becoming friends with a one night stand

Probably not, just stay fuck buddies.

95. What’s your kink

There are so many... they're all over my page

96. Would you hook up with the same hook-up again?

Yeah, unless it absolutely sucked...

97. Ever made a relationship from a one night stand?

Nope

98. How romantic are you during sex?

It depends on who with, I honestly don't know

99. Describe your sex in 5 words or less.

Sad, non-existent, cry worthy, boring

[bmpmp3]

ive loved it since i first heard it in project diva x years ago, but listening to Tsumi no Namae again (with slightly higher quality headphone audio rather than my vita speakers <3 ) i didnt realize just how crazy the production choices of this song is. wait hold on lemme hashtag musicpost for a minute. im busting out the timestamps

immediate tone setting. bagpipes??? or something like that right out the gate which is wild. clock winding, gear crunching, and real human woman whispering (i think in english but ive never been able to find official lyrics of that section) as well <3 im a sucker for using human voices with synth voices i think it adds a lot of neat texture

the instrument choices lean into a fantasy musical-esque soundscape for obvious reason (the whole song is basically a little original fable or myth type story complete with trickster goddesses and breaking fate's curses etc etc) but the composition is plenty pop rock which is a fun juxtaposition im always a fan of but like SPECIFICALLY those drums that start around a minute in. im not sure what it is, the speed? how loud and hard the drums are? it works so well to give it a forward momentum while also being a bit uncanny. maybe im just imagining how tired the drummers arms would be hitting at that speed and with that amount of power for this long........ but yeah it gives it this unexpected, sorta otherworldly feel, like its just a fraction of a fraction faster than you'd assume. theres like hints of clapping and stuff in there too i think? so much all together but so so so good

and speaking of how tired those drummers arms would be, i do love that this song is six and a half minutes, i love stuff over 5 minutes like YES i am going to waste SO MUCH TIME staring into space and listening really hard (i like to listen to songs on loop <3 half an hour is gonna go away in just a few plays) i love love love love love it

1:38 mark THE BANJO????

1:43 ouuhhhh that we-will-rock-you-type boom-boom-bap-type clap-clap-stomp percussion. ouhhhhhh yesssssssssssssssss.

1:50 the banjo and the flute are now making out in the background. they are making out sloppy style

2:00 there's like this drum breakdown thats incredibly poppy and rock-y which also goes back to the like fun blends of instrument choice and composition

2:23 am i crazy or is there like a tiny tiny little bit of like a static sound as a piece of percussion in this quieter bit... love a mix of fantasy with digital artefacting

2:45 IS THAT A HINT OF SOME MANNER OF BASS INSTRUMENT IN MY LEFT EAR I HEAR..........

3:50 WHAT is that little sound near the right.... it sounds like one of those medieval instruments but i cant remember which one.... and the banjo has made a return

3:58 THE BASS COMING IN ON THE LEFT

4:35 okay the whole bridge section is crazy but first of all. the dynamics between the deep bass-y sounds going between the two ears.

4:40 and what on EARTH is THAT. like a glitchy static-y bit of vocals going on both sides. AND the flute-y sounding thing is going NUTS up there

4:45 and this is what always makes me lose my mind. that really REALLY deep, circular, almost string sounding instrument? is that a god damn hurdy gurdy. i dont know much about instruments can you tell...... BUT for real that like again adds this haunting, extra bit of synthetic uncannyness to the medieval fantasy fable story

5:18 WHAT is that long like droning sound. is that also bagpipes. whats that classical piece thats supposed to teach you how to differentiate the parts of an orchestra. i need to drill that in my head im fighting for my life out here. ANYWAY those background notes with also these bits of like chattering? people talking or playing?

5:24 RANDOM BIT OF MEDIEVAL VIOLIN

6:08 and ending off with the glittering little chimes.... awesome

i dunno just holy shit man. this song goes everywhere it wants to. theres a banjo.

[virgoilluminati]

One Shot List

Heya, so after the end of Belongings I am planning to have a little break from fanfic series’s to focus on doing smaller fics. But knowing me… they’ll end up becoming short series’s of their own. 😆

So the plan is basically, requests for anyone on my masterlist is open, so just ask me what prompt you would like and who you would like it for, and I’ll write you a fic. ❣️❣️❣️ Been wanting to do this for a while so please send me requests (even if they’re not on this list too). I don’t bite…. (Or do I hehe😏) JK I DON’T I PROMISE

Here’s the prompt list:

1. "You're hair is really soft after you wash it."

2. Ssh. Stop fussing. I'm just braiding your hair."

3. You smell really nice."

4. "Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.

5. 'I might have slept with your robe when you were gone."

6. "If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you."

7. Here, let's share the blanket.

8. You're comfy."

9. You are my new pillow."

I0. "You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.

11. "But I want to hear you sing.

12. "We can talk over dinner."

13. "Don't be stubborn. Try it!"

14. "Don't get up - I'll do it."

15. "Will you let me rub your back?"

16: "Care to give me a back scratch?"

17. "Star-gazing was a good idea."

18. "You look beautiful/handsome in the moonlight."

19. "I'll always be here for you.

20. "TIl be here to protect you."

21. "I think I love you."

22. "You are my love."

23. "How about something warm? It will will help you sleep.

24. "It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."

25. "Don't be silly. I want to stay up with you.

26. It is not morning yet."

27. "Shush and go back to bed."

28. "I heard you talking in your sleep."

29. "Your bed head is really cute.

30. "We'll do dishes together.

31. "How about a kiss?"

32. “I love your hugs."

33. "Come over here and make me.

34. "Have you lost your damn mind!?"

35. "Please, don't leave."

36. "Do you...well...I mean...I could give you a massage?"

37. "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"

38. "Is there a reason you're naked in my bed?"

39. "I almost lost you."

40. "Wanna bet?"

41. "Don't you ever do that again!"

42. "Teach me how to play?"

43. "Don't you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!"

44. "I think we need to talk."

45. "Kiss me."

46. "Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always."

47. "So, I found this waterfall..."

48. "It could be worse."

49. "Looks like we'll be trapped for a while..

50. "This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you've ever had. Of course I'm in."

51. "The paint's supposed to go where?"

52. "You need to wake up because I can't do this without you."

53. "We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and you wanna stop and feel the rain?"

54. "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice."

55. "You come here often?"

56. "Can I offer you a drink?"

57. "So.. You expecting someone?"

58. "Do you need a place to stay for tonight?"

59. "I gotta tell you... you look incredibly hot.

60. "Do you want to dance with me?"

61. "Look at us... we are basically a couple already."

62. "I bet you would look even better without your clothes on."

63. "Are you single? Just asking."

64. "You're the most beautiful person I have ever encountered."

65. "What would you say if you and me would go somewhere else?"

66. "I love the way you're dressed."

67. "Do I have any chances with you?"

68. "Do you have anything better to do later?"

69. "Can I get your phone number?"

70. "You seem like a bad boy/girl/person type."

71. "I can do whatever you want, babe."

72. "You have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen."

73. "I bet guys/gals/people are all over you.

74. "You should be a model."

75. "Are you... trying to flirt with me?"

76. "Maybe if I get a free drink I can consider talking to you."

77. "That won't work. Try again."

78. "Oh my god, did you just say that out loud?"

79. "I'm waiting for someone. However, you can amuse me in the meanwhile."

80 "You don't look so bad yourself."

81. "I thought you were taken."

82. "So, have you flirted with every girl/boy/one in this bar yet?"

83. "Do I look like someone who seems interested in you?"

84. "Compliments won't pay my drinks."

[kitsipher]

Dear anonymous person who sent me this, uh.... I broke it and now I can't respond to your ask :3

1. What is you middle name? : Layne

2. How old are you? : 14!!

3. When is your birthday? : February 16th

4. What is your zodiac sign? : Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? : Blue/green/purple

6. What’s your lucky number? : 4 ig?

7. Do you have any pets? : 3 dogs, 6 cats, 1 ferret, and fish:3

8. Where are you from? : AMERICAAA YAAAAA (Washington state)

9. How tall are you? : 5'5 -ish

10. What shoe size are you? : 9 1/2 - 10 (wide) ((very flat footed))

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? : erm at least 7

12. What was your last dream about? : Minecraft

13. What talents do you have? : uhm.. I can shape my tongue like an clover

14. Are you psychic in any way? : I can feel when the vibe is off trust

15. Favorite song? : Erm.. The Summoning-Sleep token

16. Favorite movie? : Monty Python: the holy grail

17. Who would be your ideal partner? : Idrc someone nice and artistic ig

18. Do you want children? : at least one

19. Do you want a church wedding? : not really

20. Are you religious? : Not really, I am spiritual tho-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? : Plenty of times ✨️

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? : No✨️

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? : No but I met my town's mayor when I was younger

24. Baths or showers? : Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? : Mismatch!! (One pink and white and one grey and white)

26. Have you ever been famous? :I don't think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? : not really

28. What type of music do you like? : Indie rock, and rock (I'll listen to anything though-)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? : NOOO

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? : at most 3, usually 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? : side

32. How big is your house? : 2 stories

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? : cereal maybe (usually I just snack on stuff)

34. Have you ever fired a gun? : Yes >:)

35. Have you ever tried archery? : Yes again- I feel like Merida when archery

36. Favorite clean word? : Fridge

37. Favorite swear word? : I don't curse

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? : a day and a half

39. Do you have any scars? : side of my foot, my shin, both my knees, my arms

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? : yes..

41. Are you a good liar? : I don't believe so

42. Are you a good judge of character? : most of the time

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? : Southern and Australian (the Australian one isn't very good)

44. Do you have a strong accent? : No clue, I say stuff weird tho

45. What is your favorite accent? : Southern

46. What is your personality type? : Up beat, outgoing, and creative ig

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? : a hoodie ✨️

48. Can you curl your tongue? : Yes, Clover shape

49. Are you an innie or an outie? : innie

50. Left or right handed? : Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? : I'm startled by spiders

52. Favorite food? : Stroganoff and lasagna

53. Favorite foreign food? : Stroganoff?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? : Clean

55. Most used phrased? : "Gosh narbit" "fight me" and "What the fridge"

56. Most used word? : "Fridge" or "Like"

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? : a little less than 10 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? : a bit

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? : Bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? : yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? : yes

62. Are you a good singer? : I don't feel like it

63. Biggest Fear? : Being stared at

64. Are you a gossip? : no

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? : erm..?

66. Do you like long or short hair? : Shorter hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? : Nope

68. Favorite school subject? : I had to make my own village

69. Extrovert or Introvert? : extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? : nope

71. What makes you nervous? : heights

72. Are you scared of the dark? : A little (more of what I see in the dark)

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? : Yes

74. Are you ticklish? : You gotta tickle me in a certain way

75. Have you ever started a rumor? : nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? : yep

77. Have you ever drank underage? : .... no... ( a little bit not enough to get me drunk. a little taste)

78. Have you ever done drugs? : no

79. Who was your first real crush? : no

80. How many piercings do you have? : two on each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ : nope

82. How fast can you type? : pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? : girl I'm asthmatic

84. What color is your hair? : Ginger

85. What color is your eyes? : hazel mostly green

86. What are you allergic to? : Penecilin, fake metal, adhesives

87. Do you keep a journal? : yes but I often forget it

88. What do your parents do? : .y mom is an artist and my dad is table games at the casino

89. Do you like your age? : yes

90. What makes you angry? : Idiots

91. Do you like your own name? : Yes

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? : Sam

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? : idc

94. What are you strengths? : I'm creative

95. What are your weaknesses? : Overthinking

96. How did you get your name? : Season

97. Were your ancestors royalty? : No? They were vikings and the president George Washington tho

98. Do you have any scars? : yes

99. Color of your bedspread? : blue

100. Color of your room? : also blue

[katoktm8]

Snake with legs

Spectacular day. After an absolutely absolutely horrible night of sleep, we got up to the hotel breakfast and then decided to drive 15 km to Lake Bovilla. The drive took over an hour because most of the roads were similar to Mogillan Rim roads of gravel and stones and potholes and one lane roads. In addition, there was a mine about halfway there, and so we were dealing with passing bulldozers and trucks full of rock and stone and every large equipment imaginable. And it was all switch back roads. There is a picture of one part of the road that I stuck my hand out the window of the car and tried to show what we were driving through. We got to the reservoir and it was stunning. It’s a man-made reservoir outside of town and it serves as most of Tirana‘s water source. We parked right at the start and walked up the switchback road then across the field then up a trail then up the side of a mountain even with Caroline’s horrible fear of heights, we made it to the lookout. In one picture I took from the grassy field we cut across you can just see in the distance the lookout way on top of the mountain. The views were fantastic. The people that were up there were crazy taking risks to get the perfect picture. We sat up there and met people from all over the world for about 30 to 45 minutes. One couple was from Germany and they are in a camper van with their three Chihuahua type dogs for seven weeks. The names were toffeefay, viola, and butterscotch. We headed back down and met a shepherd with his goats and lambs and horse who we had to pay in order to take pictures of. Nice side gig. Check out the goat climbing a tree to eat. I think pictures tell the story of this best. Look at how high we were look at how far we walked. It was all spectacular.

Well, on the way up while walking through the meadows, a tour group was right behind us with the tour leader in front. As we were walking, I could hear things being thrown into bushes, etc. I looked back and he was throwing rocks. I asked him why he was throwing rocks, and he said “because of the snakes I want to scare them away”. I said snakes!? What snakes!? And he said oh there are lots of snakes. And I said, “oh! what kind of snakes?” and he said.

“snakes with legs” at that point it dawned on me, basically he was afraid of lizards. Snakes with legs.

Lunch. On the way back, we passed this farmhouse type restaurant. They had blocked off some of the reservoir water and made a swimming hole. We sat down and had some traditional meatballs which really look like weasel penises and were delicious, some cheese dish and feta cheese. For $.50 I also bought a sample of the homemade Reki. This is the local liquor that everyone makes and sells along the road. I took a sip, Caroline took a sip, and we gave the rest to a group of German boys. (Think Everclear)Then I decided to get in the “hole”. As you can imagine everyone was quite impressed. It was cold, but it wasn’t as cold as my pool in December. So no problem. $4 total for lunch.

Then we hit the road for the trip back.

My favorite part of the drive back is when we got into the city and a 10-year-old boy and maybe his 12-year-old brother ran up to the car and started washing our windshield. We were screaming “no no”.. and we rolled up the windows and started pulling forward in traffic. But the boy was relentless so the nicest person in the world, Caroline, flips off the 10-year-old boy. He was shocked. Then he saw me through the front windshield laughing hysterically and he flipped off Caroline. Which got even better. He and I were laughing so hard. We couldn’t stop. Then he and his brother ran over and started sponging water hearts on our window. Or maybe it was a penis I’m not sure.

We got back, changed part of our clothes and headed out to check out the bazaar, a famous bridge, the great mosque, didn’t have much success at any of those things. Milled about, had coffee at 7:00, Dinner at 9:00…A traditional restaurant where we had lamb, vegetable, stuffed eggplant, and a liter of Albanian wine. I must say the Albanian wine is excellent. They also accidentally brought us these massive rolled grape leaves..like dolmas.

Now, true to form, we are going to pour our extra liter of wine into our water bottles to walk back to the hotel.

Great day. And big plans for tomorrow. Enjoy the photos.

[vegetarian-macan]

Chapter 8: Rulers of Ikebukuro

SORRY <3 WAS NOT HAVING A #GOOD TIME LAST YEAR Content warnings will be updated later but I don't really think there's anything in here besides violence?

The gentle whir of a laptop. Heavy curtains closed to block the morning light, plunging the room into darkness. Shiro sat at his desk, his eyes feeling glazed over as he forced himself to stay awake. He could get some rest in a bit, god knows he needed it, but….

On the screen in front of him was a chatroom, the website completely black and empty save for the glowing white borders of the chat box and the words [ALHAZRED IS ONLINE]. Shiro adjusted his glasses, nearly missing the bridge of his nose entirely before beginning to type out a message.

08:36[ALHAZRED] Hello Cain, are you there?

Shiro leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh. Now he just had to wait for a response. It wasn’t necessarily early in the day— a glance at the clock at the bottom right of the laptop screen showed it was just past 8:30 a.m.— but he knew Cain woke up rather early, so his availability was up in the air. 

As the minutes passed along without a response, Shiro looked over to the Necromicon sitting at the edge of his desk, near his phone. He had set it there before turning in for the night (or morning). It hadn’t disappeared like Sora’s sword did, and even in a state of disuse, the book still eerily pulsed with energy, a low thrumming he only noticed now seemingly pouring from the pages. A gentle ding like a tinkling of a bell dissipated the sudden trance he had found himself in. A new message in the chatroom.

8:42[CAIN IS ONLINE] 8:42[CAIN] Hi. It’s been a while.

Shiro nearly hurt himself swinging back around to face his computer, typing his message out so quickly he had to stop and fix several typos he had made in his excitement.

8:43[ALHAZRED] Yeah, it has. 8:44[CAIN] I haven’t heard from you in a month. Is everything ok? 8:44[ALHAZRED] Things have been hectic around here. Sorry if I worried you.

Shiro minimized the chat window and looked on his desktop for a specific file, finding it after running his eyes over it a few times. It was a promotional page for Summons on the app store, listing the various features the app—if you could even call it that—offered. 

8:45[ALHAZRED] Actually, I was wondering if you’re familiar with this App. 8:46[ALHAZRED HAS ATTACHED AN IMAGE] 8:46[ALHAZRED] Ring any bells? 8:46[ALHAZRED] If not, nevermind. 8:47[CAIN] I know of it. That's the one rumored to have mysterious powers. 8:47[ALHAZRED] So you have heard of it! 8:48[ALHAZRED] If you don’t mind, could you tell me what you know? 8:48[CAIN] Sure, but I’d rather not type it. 8:49[ALHAZRED] Is there a problem? 8:50[CAIN] No, it’s just that it might take a while to explain over chat. 8:51[CAIN] Do you think we could meet somewhere in person today? 8:51[CAIN] If memory serves, you live in Shinjuku, right? 8:52[ALHAZRED] Yes, that’s right. 8:53[CAIN] Then shall we meet at Ikebukuro’s West Exit at 12 pm? 8:54[ALHAZRED] Really? Ikebukuro? 8:54[CAIN] Do you mind?

Did he? Ikebukuro had a reputation for a reason, one he was all too familiar with. It was dangerous, but the tradeoff was too tantalizing to ignore. Not to mention he’d get to finally meet Cain in person.

8:56[ALHAZRED] No, it’s fine. 8:57[ALHAZRED] I appreciate you taking time out of your schedule to meet me. 8:58[CAIN] Not at all. I’ve wanted to meet you in person for some time. 8:58[CAIN] Well then, I’ll see you later. 8:59[ALHAZRED] See you later. 8:59[ALHAZRED IS OFFLINE] 9:00[CAIN IS OFFLINE]

Shiro shut off his laptop, giddy with excitement from the fact that the burning questions he had about Summons were hopefully going to be answered. Maybe then the last day or so would be explained away as just artificial reality or…

He paused, staring once again at the warped leather cover of the Necronomicon. Deep inside, he knew it wasn’t. What happened with the exception a few hours earlier… it was real. All of it. How? How could a messenger app do this? Shiro let out a low and drawn out breath of exhaustion, taking off his glasses and flopping down into his bed.

He really needed to sleep.

A few hours later, as the mid-morning sun filtered in through plastic blinds, Sora lay in their totaled bed. Long ago their covers were flung off, and now they stared at the white ceiling contemplating whether to go and start the day. They hurt, there was no doubt about that. Their trip back to the school earlier in the morning took a lot longer than it should have due to the both of them needing to rest every block or so, and Sora wasn’t sure how much sleep they had actually gotten. What time was it? They weren’t entirely sure it even was the same day.

They heard a soft yawn from above them on the shelf under their window, a spark of blue pixelated light forming and flickering as Lil’ Sal’s body formed in the air. The tiny butler companion of theirs was still in his blue five-pointed star pajamas, and as he floated down to sit on their chest he lifted an equally as small sleeping mask off his eyes, the words “dad’s favorite” hand-stitched onto it.

“Good morning, Master,” he said with another yawn. “It’s currently 10 a.m. on December 7th, 2016. Did you sleep well?”        

“Mm…” Sora grumbled in response. “I want to go back to bed….”

“I bet you do, Master! You and Shiro got into a lot of trouble yesterday.” Sal rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “But you can only rest so much before your body needs food! That friend of yours, what’s his face with the cup, sent you a message a little while ago.”

“I don’t wanna…” Sora whined, rolling onto their side, subsequently knocking Sal off. He landed on the wooden floor of the dorm room with a thud, gasping with as much offense as he could muster. He floated up off the floor, staring at them with a deep pout.

“Master if you don’t get up I’m going to yell! I’m going to yell really loud!” Sal declared. At a lack of a response, he rolled up his small sleeves, inhaled, and let out a cacophonous bleat.

Sora shot out of bed, startled and staring at Sal in total bewilderment. Sal shook his little head in triumph, floating over to Sora’s phone and unplugging it from the cord. The screen lit up, revealing a few notifications on the screen when Sora picked it up from the windowsill. 

Two of them were from Ryouta, the first asking if they’re okay, the second mentioning something about breakfast. That was three hours ago. The other notifications were from Summons, announcing recent changes in guild statuses, updates to the app, and the announcement of three new guilds: the Golden Gai Sukeban, the Arakawa Wanderers, and the Asakusa Gurus.

“What’s a Guild?” Sora asked Sal, who paused to answer, but jumped and vanished when there was a knock at the door. When they opened it, there stood Ryouta, whose expression betrayed just how concerned he was.

“Good morning, Sora! Are you…feeling alright?” He stared at their head, and they remembered that they were patched up pretty extensively.

“I’m sleepy, but I’m okay. Thank you for worrying, Ryouta.” Sora smiled at him, and the sun shining onto Ryouta from through the open window paled in comparison to the beaming smile he gave back to them.

“I kinda figured you were still resting cause you and Shiro were out there all night, right? So I didn’t worry too much, but when you didn’t respond the second time I had to make sure you were alright. It’s almost lunch time. Oh, speaking of which, do you wanna get lunch with me and Shiro?” Ryouta’s mouth was running a mile a minute, nearly bouncing in place.

“Sure! Just let me get ready.”

“Alright! I’ll be waiting for you both in the cafeteria. Shiro said he needed to do some laundry first, so he’ll be down in a bit.” Ryouta nearly started down the hall, but stopped when he saw Sora wrinkle their eyebrows in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s laundry?”

“Oh, uh…yeah, you have amnesia... Sorry about that. If you have any dirty clothes you can take them to the laundry room on the first floor to clean them. There should be instructions in there if you need them, I’ll let Shiro know you’re headed that way just in case.” Ryouta pulled out his phone, the case covered in stickers of various kinds, before waving to them and heading off towards the cafeteria. 

Sora closed their door, watching as Sal rematerialized above their pillow holding his tome, reading quietly. 

“Master, there should be a clean gym uniform in the top drawer of your dresser if I remember correctly.” Sal turned away from Sora to offer them some privacy to get dressed, which they did. The uniform was too big on them, and also too long. They rolled up their sleeves and pant legs, stretching to make sure the clothes fit comfortably, something they immediately regretted as every muscle in their body ached with pain. 

“Sal, do you want to join us for lunch?” Sora snagged their phone off the windowsill and stuffed it into an inner pocket of their windbreaker. Sal turned to face them once more, closing his tome with a hearty thunk, and smiled.

“No thank you, Master. I plan to spend the rest of the day sleeping, but you three have fun! Oh, and don’t forget the key to your room!” Sal reclined onto their pillow with a smile, before vanishing once more. Sora smiled, finding their room key on their desk and slipping it into their sock before looking around for a way to take their clothes to the laundry room.

As Ryouta had said, when Sora eventually found the cramped laundry room, Shiro was inside, reading. They shifted the pile of laundry in their arms—they had failed to find anything to carry them with and didn’t want to bother Sal again—and knocked on the doorframe. At the new sound, Shiro turned to investigate, and let out a soft sigh when saw them. 

“Good morning, Shiro!” Sora smiled cheerfully, walking in and finding a place to set their laundry down, shuffling some detergent bottles and socks aside first.

“It’s not ‘good morning’ anymore, but thank you all the same,” Shiro said, closing his book and yawning deeply. Sora noticed that it was a beginner’s guide to friendly conversation.

“Did you sleep at all?” they asked, though the dark bags under Shiro’s eyes told them everything they needed to know about how well he had slept. They looked around for the instructions Ryouta had told them about, and began working on their laundry. They may as well get this done while talking, if anything.

Shiro shifted in his seat, letting out another well-timed yawn before responding, “I’ll admit that no, I did not. As class representative, you would think I would be more disciplined since I am to be an example to my classmates, but…” 

“But?” Sora turned to look at the many dials and knobs on what they assumed was the washing machine, and Shiro got up to assist them quietly. After a long pause, Shiro sighed.

“I was…speaking with a friend this morning. I—”

“Oh! Good afternoon, Shiro! And a good afternoon to you as well, Sora!” Moritaka peeked his head into the laundry room, startling the both of them so much that Sora nearly dropped the entire bottle of softener into the barrel. “My deepest apologies, I did not mean to startle you!”

“Afternoon, Moritaka.” Shiro adjusted his glasses, looking away when Moritaka shot him a look of concern at his appearance.

“Good mor…afternoon!” Sora corrected themself, closing the door of the washer and starting the cycle. They noticed Moritaka was wearing a deep blue kimono, a white wave pattern decorating the bottom, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to train! I start off every day doing this, as it’s a warrior’s duty to train themself on a daily basis. It’s part of the path to becoming a respectable warrior!” Moritaka stood to attention, his voice swelling with pride. “That reminds me, Sora. I was incredibly hurt by both yours and Ryouta’s actions the night prior. Not only did you lie to me, you, by extension, also lied to Mr. Triton. I would like to hear your reasoning for this.”

Sora balked for a moment, unable to think of anything to say. They had no reason to lie to him (this time, at least) but… neither Moritaka nor Shiro knew why they had to lie to Triton in the first place. Would he understand? Would either of them? If he knew what else Sora had caused to happen, would he….

“I…” Sora started, their throat suddenly very, very dry, “You…do you…remember?”

The dawning horror on Sora’s face surprised Moritaka, as it wasn’t the look someone would give you when asked for an apology. “Both you and Ryouta lied to Triton, which gave him the impression I wanted swimming lessons! I can swim very well, thank you!”

Shiro looked between the two, hoping for an explanation of some kind for the issue at hand. However, something else entirely was taking up most of his attention. Moritaka may remember… whatever trouble Sora and Ryouta apparently got him in last night, but not the massive cataclysm that happened the same night. Why? Shiro decided to file away that one for his later meeting with Cain. If anyone could clear up the reasons why, it would be him.

Sora took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Moritaka. Shiro hadn’t come home yet and I was worried, but Triton and Jinn would have never let me off school grounds at that hour, so Ryouta helped me sneak out so I could find him, but we needed a distraction so we-” the words were spilling out of them like a spigot, a gnawing hole growing in their stomach from a feeling they could not name. He didn’t remember last night, which should have offered comfort to them, but…

“Hold on, Sora,” Moritaka held up his hand, Sora noticing for the first time that his claws weren’t sharp. “I believe I understand what happened now. Your actions were indeed hurtful, however, the lack of faith regarding whether I would assist you in matters regarding a friend is far more wounding. Should another situation such as this arise once more, if you ask, I will help to the best of my ability.”

Sora nodded, bowing in thanks. Moritaka returned the gesture to them and gave one to Shiro before bidding the two farewell. The two stood in relative silence, the tumbling of the washing machine offering a soft, rumbling background noise. The wooden slats that made up the walls of the laundry room offered little protection from the chill of the outside air, which made Sora shiver in their gym uniform, which they now understood wasn’t meant to withstand cold weather.

“What was that all about?” Shiro asked, still staring at the doorway where Moritaka had just been standing.

“Um…I think it’d be better if Ryouta were here too. So we can talk about it at lunch.” Sora turned back towards the washing machine when it chimed, placing their now wet clothes in the drier below.

It took less time than they were expecting for their clothes to finish completely. While the drier was going, Shiro had excused himself, saying he needed to retrieve something from his room, but that he would be waiting for them inside by the entrance to the dorm whenever they were ready to head out.

“Sora, you’re here!” Ryouta practically leapt up from his seat when Sora and Shiro walked in through the cafeteria doors. Sora was wearing their blue jeans, now ripped in places, their white sneakers, a now freshly cleaned and dried winter uniform dress shirt, and Ryouta’s blue wool coat, a pocket of which now held their phone and room key. Better in their pocket than their sock, they reasoned. Shiro himself was wearing a red turtleneck, black slacks, and dress shoes, holding a gray coat over his arm. After Sora and Ryouta exchanged a warm hug, the three sat down at a free table.

Ryouta had assembled quite an array of food for them to eat; a curry bun, egg sandwich,  and orange juice for himself, an anpan, fruit sandwich and strawberry milk for Sora, and alarmingly to Shiro, a chicken katsu sandwich, a salad, an egg sandwich and a UCC black canned coffee sat in front of him.

“Ryouta…is all of this for me?” Shiro didn’t know what to say, turning the gently plastic wrapped Lawson egg sandwich around in his hand as if it were a color he’d never seen before.

“You haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday, right?” Ryouta raised an eyebrow, taking a bite of his warm curry bun without breaking eye contact. Shiro looked away under his gaze and coughed.

“Ah, is that why I feel completely wretched right now….”

Sora let out a small gasp once they realized that they too hadn’t eaten in quite a long time, beginning to eat their anpan bun in a mild frenzy. Ryouta laughed brightly, the warm sound echoing off the cafeteria walls. Sora began choking. Ryouta cried out in alarm, the shrill sound, again, echoing off the cafeteria walls. Shiro quietly handed them the strawberry milk, and Ryouta sighed in relief as they recovered from the fit. 

“Thank you, Ryouta. I know it must have been a hassle to get everything since the cafeteria is still closed until noon.” Shiro gave a quick thanks for his meal and slowly began eating his food, watching as Sora drank their milk with a sad pout.

“Don’t worry about it! I get a discount at the Lawson across the street since I go there so often.” Ryouta smiled and gave them both a thumbs up.

There weren’t that many students sitting in the cafeteria at this time, breakfast having ended long ago. With the break from school and no classes to attend, many students were either working on their assignments, relaxing, at home with their families, or in the case of a few students, napping.

“Also, um… not to be rude, but you both look kind of awful,” Ryouta commented, glancing between Shiro’s slightly gaunt face and Sora’s many bandages, “So, Shiro, uh… how are you feeling?”

“I’m…” Shiro suddenly felt out of the loop. “I’m doing alright, Ryouta. Why?”

“Well, I mean… you ran off yesterday morning and no one heard anything from you until today, so…” Ryouta took a sip from his orange juice, “...people started spreading rumors that you were running away for good and Sora was sent by the teachers to come and get you.”

“What?”

“You can blame Kibara for that one. And it wasn’t even the strangest rumor getting spread around, either. Tani in Class 2-A said that you got kidnapped by a group planning to use students as child soldiers and were planning an attack on Tokyo,” Ryouta stopped once he saw the look of utter disdain on Shiro’s face. “See what I mean?”

Shiro pinched the space in between his eyebrows and let out a sigh. “Why would he… nevermind. I’ve stopped trying to understand his ramblings.”

“Who’s Tani?” Sora asked, opening up their fruit sandwich to investigate the inside, which was slices of strawberry and fluffy whipped cream.

“Haru Tani,” Shiro let out a disgusted sigh. “He’s an upperclassman of ours that tends to spout conspiracy theories about everything and everyone. It’s a wonder it hasn’t gotten him into trouble yet. Actually… no. The day I start coming to Tani for information is the day I take off my glasses and just start letting Kengo direct me to and fro.”

Ryouta started coughing roughly, having swallowed his food as he gasped. Sora handed him their strawberry milk with a wide-eyed stare. Ryouta took a drink before thanking them, and grimaced, “That’s another problem: no one’s seen Kengo, either. He said he had stuff to do after he did his afternoon training with Moritaka yesterday, and no one’s seen him since.”

Sora looked to Shiro, whose expression was both annoyed and deeply pained. When they first met him, Shiro had been dragging Kengo back to school. Did he do this a lot? Why did Shiro seem so hurt by it, then?

“Shiro?” Sora eventually tugged on his sleeve, which broke him from his thoughts.

“...It’s nothing. I’ll deal with this later, personally,” Shiro adjusted his glasses. “Now, if either of you don’t mind, I’d like to be filled in on what happened while I was… absent. Along with why Moritaka was so upset in the laundry room.”

Half an hour had passed by the time they had finished filling each other in on everything that happened. Sora and Ryouta recounted everything on their side while Shiro was absent, and Sora gave Ryouta the abridged version of what happened while he was at school. How much did they want to tell him? How much could they tell him? 

Ryouta had long since forgotten the curry bun he had been eating, pursing his lips as he processed the sheer gravity of the information given to him. “I… did that… really happen? I died? We all…?”

Shiro closed his eyes solemnly before replying. “Yes. You… and everyone else. We don’t know how, but it did in fact happen. The notion itself is ridiculous, and yet… Sora informed me of what the two of you discovered about Summons. How it does things no phone application could ever be capable of. Were it not for what we’ve both seen… I can say that I honestly wouldn’t believe a word of it. Even now, I find myself wondering if it was all a dream.”

“But…” Sora thought back to the Apparitions they had fought, the nearly flat plane where western Shinjuku used to be, the only thing left of the school being the uprooted plumbing still spewing water… They crumbled a napkin in their clammy hands.

“But it isn’t, is the thing. How?” Ryouta finally looked Shiro in the eyes.

“That’s what I’m going to find out.” That got Sora and Ryouta’s attention, and they sat patiently waiting for him to continue. “Earlier this morning, I contacted a dear friend of mine to ask if he knew anything about Summons. Fortunately, he did, and we arranged to meet later today in Ikebukuro to discuss what we know and exchange information. Hopefully after today we will at least have something concrete to base any further theories on regarding the app.”

“Uh, Shiro, what makes you so sure the information will be good?” Ryouta asked, looking somewhat skeptical.

“It’s simple, really. I trust him.” Catching himself, Shiro amended hurriedly, “T-that is- I- I highly regard his intellect, and—” He cleared his throat. “I trust that if he says he has valuable information regarding this matter, he certainly does know something that could help us better understand what’s going on here.”

“Well, if you trust him, it should be fine,” Ryouta shrugged, then, noticing Sora had been staring off into space, called, “Sora?”

They turned to look at him, as if breaking from a trance. Shiro glanced from Sora to a spot directly in front of them in the air, feeling a familiar pressure wash over him as he stared at the spot, and it clicked instantly as to what, or rather whom, had distracted them.

“Sal wanted me to remind you that only us and Touji remember the cataclysm, because Moritaka never mentioned it,” Sora nervously paraphrased their floating familiar, who had been quietly present from the moment Sora had entered the cafeteria. They paused, “He also says congratulations to you for noticing him again, Shiro.”

“Ah. Thank you?” Shiro didn’t quite know how to reply to Sal’s… enthusiasm.

“Guys, what’s going on?” Ryouta looked between Sora and Shiro for an explanation.

“Oh, yeah, um,” Sora looked to Sal, who gave Ryouta a twirl and a bow, even though he couldn’t see him. “So… I have a contract with a familiar only I can see. His name is Lil’ Salomon, and he’s been helping me ever since I woke up in the park the other day. He knows a lot about Summons too, and he’s willing to help as much as he can if we have any questions.” The triumphant laugh Sal let out at this made Sora break out into a wide grin.

Ryouta was quiet for a moment, before shrugging with an ‘oh, well’ smile. “It’s not the strangest thing you’ve told me today. So… what do we know? Like, all together.”

“The app causes Battle Zones where people fight and can die, but once the battle is over they come back to life. There are two different types of Summoners, one of which summons artifacts, and the other can summon people or creatures.” Sora remembered their encounter with the Watchers the day prior, how surprised they were that Sora could do both. They put that thought aside. ”What else… I guess… Summons is like a game? You can level up in it, and you get things once you finish a battle, but it’s also a messaging app? And you can call people and read their posts and see what their stats are, too.”

“There are also Exceptions, which are caused when two opposing Rules clash and Summons cannot decide which one takes priority over the other, what follows this being…” Shiro didn’t need to finish his sentence. “We’ve also learned that only those involved in the event have any recollection of it in the aftermath. Those who died during this incident were resurrected, with no memory of having died. Ryouta, I remember you mentioning that you use Summons. Did you receive an artifact when you signed up?”

“Yeah, it’s a weird goblet thing? It’s gold and has green leaves on it. I left it in my room since I didn’t know what it was for. Why, Shiro?”

“I’d need more information, but I have a suspicion that the moment you sign up for the app, all users are divided into one of the two categories, whether you fight or not.”

“You can summon the D-Evils though, right? Doesn’t that make you the other type of user as well?” Sora asked, remembering the ████████.

“I’m… not sure. Actually, perhaps we should wait before delving too deep into this. Whatever information I receive today should steer us in the right direction.” Shiro took a glance at a black watch on his wrist. “Speaking of which, I’ll need to head out in about half an hour to make it there on time. If I head out now, I may be able to find Kengo and bring him back in time for the d… the meeting.”

“Is Kengo in Ikebukuro, too?” Sora asked. 

Ryouta nodded in response and leaned back in his chair, finishing the now cold remaining half of his curry bun in one bite. “Probably.” He shivered. “You gotta be careful, Shiro. I heard it’s been getting worse lately.”

“Yes, I’m aware.” Shiro stood from the table, putting his coat on silently. 

“Do you want me to go with you? Just in case?” Sora offered, hesitant to ask Ryouta why he seemed so uncomfortable with the idea of going to Ikebukuro. They couldn’t find the words. 

Shiro considered it for a moment. “...If you wish to, I’d appreciate the company. It may be rather hectic, if I’m being honest, so if you’d rather stay and rest after… everything… I’ll be perfectly fine on my own.”

“You’re not doing well, either, though.” Sora adjusted Ryouta’s coat as they stood, buttoning up the front to keep themself warm. “If anything happens, we’ll at least be together. Are you coming too, Ryouta?”

Ryouta shook his head rapidly. “Nope! No way! You couldn’t get me within ten feet of Ikebukuro. Besides, I have to go help Choji in Daikanyama soon.”

“Why Daikanyama specifically?” Shiro raised an eyebrow, and Ryouta laughed nervously under his gaze.

“Well… I had to pull a lot of favors to find you… so I asked Choji if I could help him out at a church picnic he’s working at today in exchange. I’m gonna be busy until next week helping out down there, actually…” The expression of guilt and Shiro’s fallen shoulders caused Ryouta to gesture for him to hold on. “Don’t worry, Shiro, I like helping out! You got home safe, so it was worth it in the end. Besides, you can make it up to me by bringing something back from Maruju and Iseya Oyama!”

Shiro snorted, smiling at Ryouta’s half-joke. “I’ll consider it. Thank you, Ryouta.”

“Anytime, Shiro. Stay safe you two, alright? I don’t want to end up having to tell Mr. Mononobe that you guys left to go somewhere and then never came back again. Once was enough.” He smiled, though it was closer towards a grimace.

They said their goodbyes, Sora and Ryouta exchanging a tight hug once more before they headed out with Shiro. First, they needed to tell Mononobe where they were going. If he would even let them leave the grounds in the first place. They still had their punishments from the teachers to fulfill. Speaking of which…

“Hey, Shiro, what was it that Jinn was going to make you do as punishment for yesterday?”

“Ah, right, that. He wants me to help him record and catalog the academy’s sports equipment. What about you? What did Triton want?”

“He wants me to help him clean the pool…”

Shiro grimaced. “Ah. My condolences. Kengo’s received that punishment a few times. It goes faster if you ask Triton for help, he gets excited whenever any of his students come to him for something, so his abilities with water stir up the debris and sweep everything to one side of the pool.”

“Why do you know that?” Sora playfully narrowed their eyes, making Shiro look away in embarrassment.

“I may or may not sit and read nearby wherever Kengo has his punishment for the week, so I can keep an eye on him.” Shiro adjusted his glasses, steering the two of them in the direction of Mononobe’s office.

They found him exactly where they expected he would be, sitting at his small cubicle reviewing paperwork, an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Shiro knocked on the door frame, bowing to the other faculty as he and Sora went in. Mononobe looked up at them with a warm but tired smile, the crow’s feet at his eyes scrunching.

“Good afternoon, you two. Did you both sleep well?” Mononobe leaned back in his chair, eyeing Sora curiously. His expression was soft, but thoughtful.

“Yes, sir,” Sora answered meekly. Shiro shot them a dubious glance, but nodded without a word to the contrary.

“That’s good to hear. What can I do for you both?”

“Well, sir, I’d like to ask for your permission for us to leave school grounds for a few hours,” Shiro said, already expecting Mononobe’s suspicious expression before it appeared on his face.

Mononobe closed his eyes, letting out a deep sigh and crossing his arms. Deep creases formed at his brows and around his mouth. “You both are still in a lot of trouble, you know. Lying to the faculty to sneak off school grounds, staying out overnight, disappearing for hours without letting anyone know where you are, not to mention the state you both were in when you returned. Were I to let the both of you leave campus, how can I be sure that you won’t break my trust again? How can I even be sure you’ll return?”

When no reply came, Mononobe cracked an eye open. Shiro was standing tense as a board, a slightly glassy over look in his eyes as he stared into the middle distance. Sora was white-knuckling the bottom of Ryouta’s coat, as if using their entire force of will to keep from bawling on the spot. 

Several seconds passed in this silence. Then Mononobe let out an enormous sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he said wearily, looking between Shiro and Sora as the former struggled to collect himself and the latter struggled not to cry. “I didn’t mean to… upset either of you. But, in case you’ve forgotten, there was a murder nearby here a few days ago, and the investigation is still on-going.” He scrubbed a hand down his face and sighed again. “You could have been arrested yesterday, for all I knew. You could have been killed. I am your teacher and your guardian, and I need you both to understand the gravity of your actions, both for your sake and for mine.”

Sora nodded, relaxing their grip on the coat slowly. Mononobe offered them a tissue box, which they took with a sniffle and dried their eyes. They let out a single shaky hiccup before collecting themself enough to speak. “We understand, Mr. Mononobe.”

He eyed Sora with a mix of emotions they couldn’t name, an expression akin to concern most prominent of them all. He took a deep breath, taking the still unlit cigarette from his mouth and placing it on the edge of an ashtray sitting on his desk. It was a chipped little ceramic thing that looked almost like an antique. The color had faded from it, but it appeared to have been a cheery orange a long, long time ago, with a daisy patterning just barely visible.

“...Alright. You both can go, but under one condition: you have to be back by 18 o’ clock, exactly. Placing my trust in you both is an act of faith that I hope you’ll honor. Do you understand?

Shiro and Sora both nodded their heads, speaking in unison, “Yes, sir.”

“Good. Now, before you both head out, please stick together. The weather may take a turn for the worse, and there’s a chance a blizzard may hit later, so have a backup plan in case you get stranded somewhere. The school still operates with landlines, so if your internet goes out, most convenience stores still have payphones you can use. Be careful, alright?” Mononobe’s advice was quick, making him sound more and more like a worried parent. Sora nodded, Shiro and them bowing before leaving the faculty room. They felt, ever so slightly, Mononobe’s concerned stare on their back as they left.

The train ride over to Ikebukuro was smooth, alarmingly so, compared to everything else that had happened within the last few days. As the two stepped out of the packed train car and onto the Yamanote Line platform of the Ikebukuro Station, Sora was clinging to Shiro like their life depended on it. Shiro put an awkward hand on their shoulder, and shuffled the two of them up a set of stone tile stairs until they reached a long, roofed walkway decorated in advertisement posters, a few restaurants and booths on the right side. 

“Wait here a moment, Sora, I’m going to get us something to drink,” Shiro spoke, watching as Sora stared at the fresh surroundings. He pushed up his glasses and headed towards a drink stand, leaving Sora alone. 

They walked over to a nearby set of windows, the small rectangular panes showing an overhead view of the train platforms outside. The metal roofs reflected the gray sky overhead, frost sparkling on the sheet metal. The chill in the air made them pull Ryouta’s coat around them tighter. They wondered if he would be okay without it, a bit guilty at the idea that they took his only winter coat. Sora gingerly pressed their hand to the glass, pulling it back immediately as they felt how cold it was. Even in the covered walkway, they could see their breath.

“Sorry for making you wait, Sora.” Shiro came back with the drinks, which were hot and steaming. He set them both down on the windowsill. “You have to stay here if you want to drink, it's considered impolite to walk around and eat.”

“Okay!” Sora watched as Shiro slipped two cardboard heat grips around the paper cups. He smiled, a proud grin on his face, though Sora was unsure as to why. 

“One of these is corn soup, it’s an acquired taste, but it’ll warm you up regardless. The other is hot chocolate,” Shiro explained. “It’s sweet, and you can add marshmallows into it for a little more sweetness. Ryouta tends to prefer sweeter things, but recommended I give you the option to try both when we got here.”

Sora stared at the drinks, and picked the corn soup. They blew on it a bit, before bringing it to their lips. It was… they didn’t really have any words to describe it, having never had corn before. Sora continued sipping the yellow, creamy soup with a face that betrayed their confusion and disdain. 

Shiro gave them a bemused smile, taking a drink of the hot chocolate. “How does it taste?”

“Bad…” Sora frowned, but continued nursing the soup, for Shiro’s sake. 

“It is quite… intriguing. You get used to it after a while, believe me, I've had my share far more than I would like.” Shiro turned to the windowsill, and reached for something before pausing. He checked his coat’s pockets, then his pants, then his shirt….

“Shiro?” Sora stared at Shiro with a slightly cocked head.

“No need to worry, I… seem to have forgotten to grab marshmallows.” Shiro took his hands out of his pockets, looking at the drink stand. Sora did a single jump and smiled.

“I’ll go get you some— wah!” The moment Sora turned and ran to the stand, they collided with someone, the two falling to the floor with rather light thuds. The cup that Sora had been holding spun on its lip, empty of its contents. Shiro immediately went to Sora’s side, and helped them sit up, checking them for any injuries.

Sora brushed themself off, and crawled over to the person they had collided with. They wore a baggy purple sweatshirt with large pockets and black cargo pants, both of which were now covered in the corn soup. Sora quickly tried helping the person sit up, panicked, looking like they were about to cry, ”I’m sorry, I didn’t see you! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

“I-I’m, uh…” The soup-splattered stranger made a few shaky attempts to respond, but couldn’t manage to quite get the words out. It was going to be a long day, especially with how it felt as if the city itself was bad luck. Shiro felt the prickle of suspicion he had die the moment he saw the look on the stranger’s face. If Sora was near tears, they were barely holding the deluge back.

And it seemed like they were losing. The stranger— a child, at least as far as Shiro could tell by their short and wiry stature— began to tremble, shoulders shaking. They had braced themself against Sora when the two had collided, and had grasped their arm as they had tried to help them up. The stranger withdrew into themself, covering their hands over their mouth.

“Are you okay…?” Sora asked again, horrified. The strange child let out a high-pitched sob, their shoulders shaking.

Shiro, panicked, blurted out, “I’ll get you some napkins, one moment.” He made a bee-line back to the drink stand, taking the napkins that were already being offered by the employee manning it. They gave Shiro a raised brow, but were otherwise unconcerned. They also handed some to Sora, who had followed after him, both teens now carrying two large fistfuls of napkins.

When they returned, the crying stranger was nowhere to be seen, the splatter of corn soup marking the now empty space where they should have been.

Sora looked between the splatter and the napkins they held in their hands. “Where did they go?”

Shiro let out a weary sigh. Other people’s crying always made him feel alarmed, and the stranger’s especially left him ill at ease. "They must have run away. They seemed very overwhelmed." He disposed of the empty cup in a nearby recycling area, then crouched on the cool concrete to begin mopping the spilled soup. There was quite a bit around— Sora had an apparent distaste for it. 

Sora was still standing over the mess. Their grip tightened on the cheap napkins. “Sora, are you alright?” Shiro asked, watching them carefully.

"I spilled food on them..." Sora mumbled. "And we didn't help them, they're just gone..."

"Accidents happen, Sora, I don't think they were angry with you." He looked up from his soaked napkins, which at this point were just smearing the wretched soup across the floor rather than cleaning it up. "Would you help me with this? We need to get a..." He trailed off.

Sora was still looking around, their expression no longer stricken with guilt. Instead, they seemed to be listening intently, thin brows knit with discomfort. “Do…you hear that?”

Shiro paused, listening as well. His frown deepened into disapproval when he finally noticed it; someone nearby was laughing. It was cacophonous and full of mischievous joy, the sound slowly getting further and further away down the twisting halls, like they had seen what had happened, and found it the height of comedy. Shiro shook his head, appalled at the lack of sympathy for the child’s misfortune, even if they had most likely been playing hooky.

“Some people are so callous.” He muttered, watching the passersby to locate the culprit, but came back with no one to draw his ire. From the sound of it, the person would have been short of air in their hysterics, but as far as he saw, everyone else on the walkway was too busy giving them a wide berth to spare even a chuckle. This was deeply troubling. Ikebukuro was far too dangerous for someone like that to be out of his line of sight. 

"Sora." Shiro called out to them, his tone gentle, but urgent. "Please help me clean this up. We should leave, as soon as possible." They managed to clean up the mess the best they could, and the employee offered a wet floor sign to place over the cleaned area.

Sora sighed, standing up and throwing the dirty napkins away, the guilt still weighing on them. The two bowed in thanks to the drink stand employee and headed to the right, going through the turnstiles, Sora holding Shiro’s hand tightly. There were a lot of people at this time of day, but far less than the endless crowd in Shinjuku Station. Sora got separated twice in the writhing crowd, having to cling to Shiro like a koala to not have it happen for a third time. 

They left the station’s roofed walkway, taking the Metropolitan Exit, and heading down an open area paved in cold concrete tiles. A red set of pillars lined the walkway to their right, the two passing under them as they turned the corner of the building. The side walkway wasn’t as crowded as the plaza they had just left, Sora letting out a soft noise of awe at the double-decker skybridge they were passing under, the gray sky sparkling in the tinted glass. The pair headed down a few flights of stairs to street level, Shiro checking his phone once they were out of the way of commuters. 

“...Shiro… can I ask you something about Kengo?” Sora muttered, trying to avoid bumping into anyone as they walked.

“I don’t see why not.”

“Ryouta said you had to get Kengo, but… why?” Sora asked, watching Shiro, fully expecting him not to give them an answer.

“He…” Shiro paused for a few moments, as if carefully considering how he phrased his next words. “His parents asked me to keep an eye on him. We’ve known each other since we were kids, and for as long as I can remember, he’s always tended to get into trouble.”

“Why would he come to Ikebukuro?”

Shiro glanced over his shoulder, stopping just in time to avoid an irate cyclist that had ridden out in front of the two. For a moment his expression was one of bewildered annoyance, then his gaze softened with understanding. “Even after hearing what Ryouta said, you…. My apologies. It slipped my mind that merely two days ago you woke up without your memories. Ikebukuro isn’t a safe place. Gang violence, street brawls, and muggings are rampant, with little done to curb the violence. Kengo came here to fight, nothing more.”

The disdain was clear in Shiro’s voice. It was directed at Kengo, but the longer they walked, the longer Sora had to mull over his words. Ever since they got here, to Tokyo, they had been fighting nonstop. The Red Oni in the park, the Watchers outside of the station, the D-Evils, Shiro himself, then the exception… Sora didn’t press any further, the two walking in silence, the sound of the bustling city of fighters surrounding them. 

They didn’t have to search for long before running across Kengo. Sal had been searching from the air to help, and spotted his bomber jacket as he turned a corner into a narrow commercial side street. The two dodged and swerved through the pedestrian crowds, until the swarm of humanity all but vanished as they came upon the scene in front of them.

The rough thwacks and crunches of fists against bodies echoed off the two-story restaurants on either side of the street. Sora tensed in horror as they watched the fight, the… brawl. There was no other word for it. This wasn’t in Summons, this was real, tangible. The blood on Kengo’s fists were a testament to that. 

“C’mon, guys, let’s go!” One of the guys fighting Kengo crawled away, cradling his broken arm. There was barely enough room in the street— more of an alley, really— for a small vehicle to drive through, so the fighters had no choice but to be close-quarters.

“So that was all talk?! What’s the matter, you scared?” Kengo dodged an incoming attack, grabbing them by the arm as they swung, and flipped them over onto their back in a beautiful arc. They landed on the bloodied pavement with a loud crack. Sora shuddered. 

Shiro’s fist clenched as he watched, and the disdain on his face soured into outright contempt. Sora didn’t want to butt in; usually they would have, they’d jumped into fights before, but Shiro… what would he think of them afterwards?

The other fighters crawled away the best they could with injured bodies, some limping away from Kengo weakly. He spit out a glob of blood on the asphalt, wiping his mouth with his hand.

“You’re pathetic. Get lost, you’re not worth my time.” Kengo scowled, wiping his grisly hands on his jeans before putting them in his pockets. The group that attacked him collected their injured friends and hobbled away. Those that had fallen unconscious were left behind in the alley.

Sora took a step forward as they made to talk to Kengo, but Shiro beat them to it, his voice stern, anger barely contained: “What do you think you’re doing?”

Kengo turned quickly, startled more than anything else  to see Shiro, and Sora for that matter, as they saw his deep brown eyes flick to them for a moment.

“What the hell are you doing here, Shiro?” Kengo asked, his tone just as angry.

“We’ve come to get you,” Sora answered first, shutting their mouth immediately when they saw the stern glare Shiro was giving them. He wanted to handle this. Alone.

“Every time I come and get you, you’re in another fight! It’s a wonder you haven’t killed anyone yet!” Shiro said, his voice raising in volume. Kengo rolled his eyes, and walked over to one of the unconscious fighters. Sora gasped softly as Kengo began checking their pockets, eventually pulling a small, black leather wallet. He took out some small tokens that Sora knew to be Coin along with a few bills that Sora did not recognize, shoving them unceremoniously into the pocket of his worn jeans.

“You’re robbing them now, too?!” Shiro shrieked.

“Shut up, I earned this fair and square!” Kengo snapped back, staring Shiro down. Sora squirmed in place, holding tightly onto the bottom of their coat. Something bad was going to happen. ”The better I am at kicking their sorry asses, the more I get. Same goes for them. It’s that simple.”

Shiro’s face momentarily fell into stunned alarm, before returning to the grimace he had prior. “Kengo, is this illegal fighting? Have you been fighting people for money?!”

Kengo didn’t respond. At least, not at first. The rush of the highway nearby filled the silence, and after what felt like an eternity, he answered, cold and strained, “Go home, Shiro. I don’t care what happens at school anymore, and I’m sick of your annoying ass trailing after me everywhere I go.”

Shiro started. “What—”

“Just— shut up! What am I even going to school for? If you wanna go to kiss-ass central, then go ahead, but I don’t— I don’t care! I’m sick of you dragging me to school when I don’t care about that shit, and then dragging me to study so you can tell me how stupid I am and how ‘I’m not applying myself’ and ‘I’m disappointing my father’ like I give a rat’s ass about how that old man feels!” Kengo’s voice was hoarse from yelling, his harsh words and frustrations bleeding from him like an open wound. “You can go back to the academy and tell them anything you want, because you know what? I don’t belong there! It doesn’t matter what you or any of them do— I can’t ‘walk the straight and narrow,’ I can’t get good grades, and I’m never gonna hold down a job where you sit in a cubicle all day. I’m a martial artist. This is where people like me belong!”

Sora watched as Kengo spat at Shiro, and turned to leave. They didn’t have the courage to chase after him. Shiro did. He marched towards Kengo, grabbing onto his jacket sleeve, the old, brown leather gripped tightly in his fingers. Kengo flinched, and his arm jerked out of reflex, shaking Shiro free. The two made eye contact, looking for something in each other that was no longer there. Kengo grit his teeth, and swung. 

Shiro staggered back; he fell to the ground hard. He placed a hand on his jaw, as if trying to stifle the pain that had settled in. Kengo stared down at him, his hands shaking. 

That was the final straw. Sora lunged at Kengo with enough ferocity that he was caught off guard. They started to claw at his face, their small hands leaving sharp fingernail scratches anywhere they could reach. Kengo grabbed Sora by the back of their coat and threw them at Shiro with a thud.

“Both of you just stay the hell away from me!” Kengo shouted, running off down the back alley, and eventually out of sight.

The alley was quiet once more, the onlookers from the nearby restaurants that had watched the confrontation murmuring amongst themselves. Shiro sat up slowly, still staring in the direction Kengo had gone. Sora crawled out of Shiro’s lap, dusting themself off. They looked at their hand, which had landed in a pool of dried blood, the crust still somewhat damp. It took everything to keep down their rising bile from the feeling of it. Sora quickly got up, and started looking for Shiro’s glasses, and found they had skittered under a set of chained delivery bicycles. Shiro hadn’t moved by the time they brought them back, too stunned to do much else but gape in blank horror.

“...He’s not a bad person, you know.” Shiro’s voice was barely audible, nothing more than a strangled whisper. ”Deep down, I mean. He’s good, he… hesitated. He didn’t swing immediately. He didn’t… want to, maybe he did, I mean… Sora you have to believe me, Kengo’s a good person—”

“I know,” Sora said, sitting down on the asphalt beside Shiro quietly. They sat there in silence for a while before speaking up again. ”Let’s go, Shiro,”

“...Yes. Let’s go. We still have things to do, after all,” Shiro’s response was flat and mechanical. He stood, his poker face returning as he adjusted his coat. “That fool… if he wants to beat people up in back alleys for money, so be it. It’s not like he’ll change if I drag him back, anyway.”

The jarring shift in Shiro’s sentiments took Sora by surprise. Had he not heard a single thing Kengo had said? They held their tongue, not having the words to express their frustrations with Shiro at the moment. Sal floated down, giving them a look of concern.

“Master, you’re worried, right?” Sal asked, floating alongside Sora as they followed Shiro to wherever he was going. This time, they gave him a wide berth.

“Yeah. I don’t… understand.” Sora rubbed their arm as they watched the blue-gray asphalt underfoot, “Kengo’s mad at Shiro, but he won’t listen. They won’t listen to each other,”

“From what I’ve seen, Master, they’re stubborn people. It’s all part of growing up, y’know. Friends have disagreements sometimes, after all.” Sal steered Sora around an upcoming corner as they headed back out the way they came, eventually stopping in front of a Lawson convenience store. Shiro turned to Sora silently, waiting for them to follow inside, but they shook their head half-heartedly. Shiro went in alone.

Sora sat down on the small red steps to the left of the door, watching the midday traffic drive by. The sky had darkened even more than earlier, and their fingers had started to ache from the deepening cold. They were reminded of… a few days ago. Had it really only been so little time? Sal floated down into their lap, opening his tome to different pages as he read.

“Sal… do you have any friends?”

“Hm… well, there’s you, Master. Father as well, and that’s about it. Not many people can see me after all! Why?”

“Will things work out?” Sora asked, as the familiar tightness in their chest that meant they were going to cry welled up inside of them.

“...I don’t know, Master. That’s up to them. The most you can do is to have faith, and that’s the strongest power one can have in this Tokyo,” Sal responded, his large brown eyes looking up at Sora in reassurance. It worked, somewhat, as Sora took a few strangled breaths to collect themself.

Shiro stepped out of the automatic doors to the Lawson, a small plastic bag full to the brim on his arm. Sora looked up at him with a complicated expression, watching as he placed a heat compress to the growing red spot on his jaw. They took his hand to help them up, Sal flying around the two of them.

“Are you feeling alright, Sora?” Shiro asked, handing them a small bottle of Yakult. Sora nodded, peeling the bright red foil lid off of the bottle, tentatively sipping the yogurt drink inside. It was cold, which might not have been the best thing for the current temperature, but the subtle sweetness of the yogurt drink made them feel better. 

Shiro sighed, grabbed one for himself, and reclined against the concrete wall to Sora’s right. “You always seem to catch me at my worst, Sora. I’m the one the staff rely on as class representative to keep my classmates in line. It’s imperative I maintain my cool to keep performing that job to the highest caliber, yet here I am, running away from school for over 24 hours and getting into fights two days in a row.”

“...Shouldn’t we go after Kengo?” Sora asked, glancing over at Sal, who was trying to take a sip from their bottle. They tilted it slightly to give him easier access.

“We should, however-” Shiro punctuated his sentence by downing his yogurt in a single gulp, “-what just transpired may happen again, if not worse than before. That’s a chance I’m not willing to take, and frankly, we’re running out of time for our meeting. Kengo will be back to normal after he cools off, and I doubt he’ll be leaving Ikebukuro.”

Shiro pulled out his phone from his coat pocket, checked the time, a chatroom, then SUMMONS, and sighed in frustration. Three D-Evils of various bright colors, one Wood, one Nether, and one Aether, appeared from circular portals in the air, chirping happily. Sora’s jaw clenched at the sight of the portals. They glowed with swampy green and blood red rings that twisted into the center like optical illusions. The same portals that had dotted the night sky of Shinjuku as they sucked up people like dust barely twelve hours prior.

“D-Evils, I’m not sure if you’re able to assist me in this manner, but I want you to find Kengo and keep an eye on him while we’re busy. Can you do that for me?” Shiro asked, in a tone similar to how one would speak to a pet. The D-Evils squeaked amongst themselves, before the Nether D-Evil, who was the leader of the trio, nodded. The three fluttered their stubby wings, and flew off down the street in different directions to search.

Sora fidgeted with the bottom of their coat. “Is it…safe to use that?”

“What do you mean?”

“The… thing…” Sora stared at Shiro. “What if the book calls it back? What if we have to fight it again?”

As Shiro looked back, trying to understand their meaning, his hand slid absentmindedly down the leather spine of the Necronomicon, which resided comfortably in a holster on his thigh. “...I remember. No, I don’t believe that would be the case. The officer said that it was Summoned when our Rules collided. I doubt simply using the book would have the same effect.”

“Sure…” Sora mumbled, still not entirely reassured. Still, the D-Evils would be useful in this situation, as they would be less conspicuous than if either of them were to trail Kengo.

“Now, we have a good amount of time before our meeting, but I’d like to get to the station sooner rather than later, just in case anything else happens, as that’s where we agreed to meet. I recommend we get a move on as soon as possible.” Shiro switched back to the SUMMONS home screen, providing him with a map of the area. 

The two hurried at an even pace down the brick-laid sidewalk, through a small crosswalk, and then back up the opposite street. They walked along the side of an impressively long, several story building, with spiral concrete stairs leading up to higher floors, various Roman-style columns, and large vertical banners with badly photoshopped pictures of gladiators on them hanging from the roof. There was an impressive amount of people going in and out, a few shoving past Shiro as they passed another set of stairs.

They had just passed the corner of the imposing building when the Aether D-Evil from earlier barreled into Shiro out of nowhere, hitting him square in the stomach. Shiro let out a surprised, winded cough, taking a step back from the force of the impact. The D-Evil chattered loudly, tugging at his clothing.

“What’s wrong with it?” Sora asked as they watched Shiro put his phone back in his pocket, and lifted the D-Evil under its arms like a cat. It wiggled its little limbs and pointed off to the right of where the two stood. The light brown brickwork pathway they had been walking over branched off through a row of trees towards another entrance of the building. There was a large crowd gathered at the end of it.

“Did you find Kengo?” The D-Evil nodded with a beep. “Is he over there?”

The other two D-Evils floated in, one landing on Shiro’s shoulder, the other perched on his head. The trio let out a shrill, urgent squeak, Sora and Sal wincing at the volume.

“Calm down, don’t make so much noise,” Shiro chided, and looked towards where they had pointed. He looked back towards the station a block away, then to a nearby park clock silently. Eventually, Shiro turned to Sora. “...I doubt my friend would mind if we were a little late, as much as the prospect bothers me. What do you think? Should we investigate?”

Sora approved, the two beelining for the crowd. As they approached, they saw the tell-tale blue wall that signified a Battle Zone sparkling above the thrumming crowd. The Wood-aligned D-Evil smacked Shiro’s arm insistently, pointing with its clawed hand towards the row of glass double doors that acted as the front entrance.

“He’s inside there?” Sora asked, the D-Evil flapping its arms in confirmation.

Shiro narrowed his eyes, “This is the Tokyo Metropolitan Theatre, where they hold plays and art exhibits. What business would he have in there—”

His voice was lost when the crowd of spectators cheered all at once. An energy spread through the mass of people, one so electrified and strange that it made the hair on Sora’s arms stand on end. The Battle Zone quickly dissipated, the familiar voice of the narrator calling out the results of the fight.

「Battle concluded. 

Winner: Snow of the Ikebukuro Berserkers. 

Congratulations. Thank you for playing SUMMONS」

The crowd broke apart, each person headed to their original destinations, and finally granted the two a clear view of the fight that had transpired. A man lay face down on the brickwork ground, the pattern below him resembling a ripple that started from the entrance of the apparent theater building. The man was mangled, covered in cuts and scrapes that precisely targeted his limbs’ weak points. Standing a few feet behind the injured man, poised and refined, was a beautiful lion transient with blue-white fur, whose well-groomed white mane ended dark green. He wore an elegant dark blue, almost black, butler uniform, one that was embroidered with traditional Tibetan designs decorating the lapels of his coat and vest. He readjusted his clean white gloves and golden monocle. It looked as if he hadn’t suffered a single scratch the entire fight. 

Sora quickly ran to the injured man’s side, watching the wounds on his body heal as the post-battle effects of SUMMONS activated. He lifted his head, looking up at Sora, who had a hand on his shoulder. They recognized him as one of the people Kengo had been fighting earlier.

“Do you need help? Are you alright—” Before Sora could ask further, the man weakly slapped away their hand.

“Get the hell away from me! You and your jackass buddy can’t get enough, huh? You finishing the job he started?!” The man spat, and sat up to face the white lion that had won the battle, apparently named Snow. “Damn cat, you and your weirdass moves!”

Snow let out a short chuckle, seemingly unfazed by the injured man’s outburst. “Now, now, I can’t have you making a commotion at the entrance, lest people think our estate unrefined. I regret I must ask you to leave, if you would be so kind.”

The man scooted back in fear as Snow took a step forward, his eyes trained on the man’s every move. For a brief moment, Sora felt his gaze fall upon them, and they moved aside to let him pass. They crunched a leaf tightly in their hand as they saw the frantic look on the injured man’s face as his attacker descended upon him. 

“You just caught me off guard!” The man yelled, bravado filling his voice. “I want in that building, cat, and you’re not going to stop me!”

“Goodness, I had thought our name was more widely known around Ikebukuro. To think our establishment would attract such a haphazard attacker such as yourself.” Step. “Furthermore, one who assumes he will be let in just for the sake of a few coin…” Step. “I am ashamed to admit I have much to improve upon. The quality of an estate’s guests deems the quality of the estate’s butler, after all. At this rate, I dare not face my darling master.”

The man kept scooting back, a cry of alarm leaving him when his back hit a nearby tree. Snow turned his nose up in disgust at the display. Shiro backed away from where he was standing, the D-Evils squeaking as well.

“How unsightly. One who cannot ascertain his opponent’s strength is inferior to a wild beast. One mustn’t confuse a penchant for reckless endangerment for actual courage.” Snow posed elegantly, his left hand beginning to glow a soft bluish-green. “I will show no mercy to those who show no courtesy.”

Snow’s body blurred for a moment, and without any indication of what had occurred, the man slumped over, falling to the ground. Sora gasped, and hesitantly approached to check the man. He was unconscious, a look of surprise on his face. Shiro quickly lifted Sora up, the two now on guard against the strange butler. Snow lowered his hand, and placed it behind his back, once again elegant and composed.

“You must excuse me, I fear that may have been rather unbecoming. You may refer to me as Snow, young ones.” The butler, now assuredly named Snow, addressed the two of them, his voice deep with an air of politeness. For a moment, Sora forgot about the unmoving man at his feet. “Now then, how may I assist you?”

“W-We’re, uh… we—”

“We’re looking for our friend. We heard that he went into that building.” Shiro cut Sora off, which made them huff. 

“I see. Very well, your purpose has been noted. However, I regret to inform you that only my master’s guests are allowed inside. Were I to speak carelessly of the happenings within our domain, it would reflect poorly on my position as manager of the colosseum.”

Shiro’s eyebrows knit in confusion. “Colosseum? I thought this was a theater.”

“I have heard that, at one point, in the earlier years of this Tokyo and prior, that it was indeed a theatre of the arts. However, my master has refurbished it into its current incarnation. Only the strongest may be allowed to pass through its threshold. That is one of the rules set in place by my master.” Snow smiled, the admiration of his master obvious in his voice.

Sora spoke up nervously. “What’s a coliseum?” After the look of utter bewilderment Snow gave them, they wish they hadn’t. Shiro answered first, thankfully. 

“Traditionally, the word just indicates a stadium or amphitheater, however, it has become associated specifically with the famous gladiatorial arena in Rome of the same name.” Shiro’s drawn-out answer was confirmed with a nod from Snow.

“A very astute and well-articulated response. The place is of a similar concept, however, I must ask that you both leave regardless. You are not welcome within its walls or the premises there-of.” Snow’s tone retained its politeness, which was beginning to sound a bit deadpan.

“Please, our friend is in there. We need to take him back to campus.” Shiro dug his heels in, but it didn’t matter. 

“No, and that is my final answer. Should you press further, I will personally remove the two of you, by force if need be.” This was bad. Sora could feel something beginning to radiate from Snow, and they were reminded of their fight with the Red Oni.

Bloodlust.

They had to do something, and fast. Sora steeled themself, going with the only option left: the nuclear one. “What if we proved we were strong?” Sora saw Shiro’s head snap towards them. “Would you let us in, then?”

Snow scoffed. “I see! Yes, you would certainly be recognized that way, but that still would not be enough. You must also possess a formal introduction or recommendation by a current or former gladiator recognized within our walls. There are no exceptions.”

Sora gripped the sleeve of Shiro’s coat, not breaking eye contact with the beautiful Snow, who towered over the two. They could feel Shiro shaking in fear. “I-If you’re… if you’re going to stop us, we have to—I mean—we’re going to go through you!’

“Are you? Even with your companion’s shaking legs? Now, if you were indeed able to subdue me, that would be very interesting.” Snow began to stalk around them, his long, white tail stiff as it hung just above the stone bricks. “I find that implausible. Your power and skill mean nothing if you lack the courage to use them. This lack of nerve will be your downfall.”

Sora and Shiro turned to face Snow, who was now behind them. The three D-Evils hissed at his presence, but it did not faze the old lion, who leaned down to meet Shiro eye to eye. “Cowards such as yourself should tuck their tail between their legs and endeavor to never show their faces here again. Now, if you will excuse me.” Snow stood up straight and walked past Shiro, whose shoulders slumped, defeated. Sora turned around to look at the butler, who walked towards the entrance of the theater. They couldn’t let that stand.

“Shiro, don’t listen to him!” Sora grabbed his hand gently, interlocking their fingers.”We were able to go against the exception and win, we can do this if we work together! Then we can get Kengo and go home.”

Shiro looked up at them, a thoughtful look on his face. He nodded, and they braced themselves, hand in hand. 

「Sora Watanabe, Guildless, and Shiro Motoori, Guildless

challenge Snow of the Ikebukuro Berserkers, to a battle」

At the sound of the announcer’s voice, Snow stopped mid-stride. He took his hands out of their folded position they were in, and faced the two scared—but determined—teenagers. “Ah, so it appears you respond to taunts.” Snow raised his hands, and three chakrams floated up behind him, spinning slowly in the air. “Let us determine whether your response is as courageous as you think it is.”

The shimmering walls of the Battle Zone encircled the three in a spiraling wave, trapping them within. Onlookers nearby rushed over quickly to see what was going on, or to simply see what they knew would be inevitable carnage.

Shiro pulled the Necronomicon out from its holster, staring Snow down with a look of unease. The pages of the ominous book began to flutter once more with an unseen wind. Just as Shiro turned his head to speak to Sora, he vanished. He and Snow were… gone. The loud crack of shattering stone behind Sora sent a shiver down their spine. They ducked just in time to miss the gloved swipe of Snow’s hand, barely a centimeter away from their head. They landed on the ground, staring up at Snow in abject terror. Shiro was lying face down in a small crater, unmoving.

“Very impressive that you managed to dodge my first attack.” Snow smiled and adjusted his glove. Sora held tight to Boundless Tail, with the realization of how skewed the battle was creeping in. Snow gave them a moment to get to their feet, and began to attack once more.

The chakrams flew at Sora, so fast they looked like smears, a deep, rumbling hum surrounding them on all sides. They dove in time to dodge one, but the other two got their arm, leaving a deep gash. They screamed. Their arm fell limp at their side.

“Ah! No!” Sora cried, stumbling back in time to miss another chakram. They swung their sword a few times, trying to knock the chakrams out of the air, but right before they connected, the chakrams would move. A few more attacks, and their legs had been shredded with thin cuts, their pants slowly dyeing red from the blood. 

Sora watched Snow, confused. Everyone usually attacked them directly, and he took out Shiro without any issues… So why hadn’t he done the same for them? The old lion stood near the edge of the Battle Zone, stepping to and fro like a dance, the chakrams mimicking his movements. If they wanted to stop the chakrams, they needed to go for the source.

 As they stood, Snow stopped, and took out a silver pocket watch from one of his coat pockets. He sighed. “Oh dear, how careless of me to become so engrossed in this event. At this rate, I’ll be late for my next engagement.”

Now was their chance. Sora bolted for Snow, sword ready. The pocket watch clicked shut. Just as the chakram went for their legs, they dove over it, using their momentum to roll. With as much force as they could muster, they swung for Snow. It grazed his calf as he leapt out of the way, landing elegantly nearby.

“Outstanding!” Snow looked at the ripped fabric of his slack, and beamed, though his smile felt… strange. “You have a significant amount of potential. Were it not for my previous engagement, I would take the time to isolate that potential. As such, I will leave you with this.”

Sora had barely blinked before they felt their head connect with the hard bricks. They screamed, Snow pinning their bad arm to the ground with his foot, putting pressure on the wound. “You fight with tenacity, but you lack motivation; you fight out of necessity and it makes you sloppy. Much like that laggard earlier, you and your companion foolishly challenged someone far out of your league in both skill and power without any idea of what you were getting into. Potential or not, you’re careless.”

They watched as Snow raised his arms once more, the three chakrams reuniting behind him. They began to circle behind his head, spinning faster and faster. A deep, echoing hum filled the air. Sora watched as an image formed in the paths of the chakrams, a mandala, intricate and colored with beautifully vibrant reds, blues, greens, and yellows. They whimpered weakly, tears pouring down their cheeks from sheer agony. The mandala started to turn.

Snow raised his voice, and their golden eyes widened. “Role of the Vassal! Rule of Trinity! Spin, whirl, and dance! Course unending through the circle of reincarnation and soar beyond even the lofty summit of Amne Machin! Physical, ethereal, and astral bodies unite as one with threefold power. Rise now, Ashtamangala!” 

The three chakrams hit them, and for a moment, they felt no pain. They floated in unfeeling existence for what felt like minutes. Then, like a great wave, they were aware of everything. Their senses folded in on themselves, shifting and becoming something new. They no longer were just a singularity, but a mass, an ever existing being of many faces, all crying out for an end that would never come. Sora heard, deep within the all of their being, a girl called out for her father, before the voice was swallowed by coils of light. 

Then, they felt everything go still. 

[marcholasmoth]

OSRR: 3377

last night i did in fact cuddle with joel. i cuddled with him all night. i know this because i was also awake all night. i got bouts of maybe five minutes at a time. but most of the time i simply couldn't breathe. but he was high and it made me happy so i went with it until i had to get up and he reached after me 🥺

once i leave bed he gets cold. he wanted my warmth back. i also imagine he simply wanted to cuddle me more. i love him so much. he's a cuddle bug when i'm back after being apart from him for a while. yes, when that happens i don't sleep much, but i enjoy being cuddled by him. he is gentle and i love him so much and i am more than happy to be cuddled and uncomfortable to be close to him. i'm just glad that he can sleep.

i know he doesn't sleep well, and his sleep isn't good because of his restlessness, the insomnia, and his back pain. so when i get up i try to make sure i don't wake him. also, when i get into bed after he's asleep, its the same thing. and when he decides in the middle of the night he needs to be warm, i deal with it as best i can to extricate myself from it or simply get comfortable. i don't sleep much because the balance i need of temperature, fresh air, and specific spots of comfort is difficult to achieve. it's a problem. hopefully a new mattress will help.

anyway.

today was great! but we basically were weathermen as we sent out notification after notification after notification about a storm in europe along the english channel. bunch of warnings, bunch of health and wellness checks, bunch of emails back and forth, and a high-level briefing.

my coworkers were so happy to have me back.

😂

because i'm the resident grammarian of the gsoc, having me out for any period of time is difficult for the quality of write-ups that go out. so my return meant that everybody was better off, even when i left the room to go bake cookies. i made some cookies in the toaster oven to have some fresh ones for tom. he enjoyed them. i ate most of them. i also enjoyed them. freshly baked cookies? that's my shit, dude. fuckin love that.

anyway, cookies and write-ups aside, i was so happy to be back at work today. the four of us did typing tests to see who types the fastest, and i proved twice why i'm the one who takes notes in meetings. i beat the next person by an additional 50%. there's 30, 45, 50, and then. 75. at least. like shit. okay. if i do other ones that number should go up to about 100 or so if we don't count accuracy. i can type notes lightning fast with about 80-90% accuracy, and even if some of it is fucked up, i can still read what it says and correct it to have properly written for later distribution.

(thanks mom! i got that from you.)

anyway, that's all funny to me.

after work, i met kristen for dinner at olive garden! i REALLY needed some good carbs and im happy that i was not vegetable-d out after eating a pack of tomatoes today. (i started eating them at like 7:30 this morning which confused the shit outta me.) but it was all good, and i ate enough and was happy with it all.

it was also really nice to see kristen again after having not seen her for a few weeks because i've been sick. she's the sweetest.

after dinner, i went over to walmart for a few things, most of which i found. i got tissues and blister because my nose and lips are chapped from the sinus infection, and i got myself a new purse and a new wallet for the fall season. i got a triangle bag that's leather which is brown and is WICKED cool, and a burgundy wallet that fits EVERYTHING and i even have a pocket for my gift cards! it's amazing and it fits SO MUCH. i quite enjoy it.

and once again, anyway, i now find myself in bed, desperate to sleep. i hope i can sleep well.

[keef-a-corn]

Dat’s right, People, it’s time for ‘Keef watches TFP and you just get the notes!’

This is for season 1, episode 12: Predatory.

I hate this episode so don’t read if you like it. I also don’t have any screenshots.

I write down the timestamps, but I watch Transformers Prime on Stan (an Australian streaming service) so they may be slightly off.

ALSO! I try my best to note points for every character, but tend to get a little caught up by Bee (although I think I do a pretty good job with the notes regardless) so do be warned.

~~~~Transition~~~~

00:40 - I get this is supposed to be important but it’s taking forever!

00:55 - It’s weird how Jack’s allowed to come with Arcee. I would’ve thought she’d be more concerned about him.

00:56 - Why is he comparing them to vampire bats? Why not just ‘bats’. Also unless they’re in Australia, I doubt those Mozzies are anything to ride home about.

01:02 - alright Arcee, settle down.

01:05 - No, she wouldn’t, instead she’d be making fun of the fact you didn’t bring it. Also he was very animated in that moment.

01:10 - The animation got a lot heavier. It works on the bots because their designs are awesome and because becoming more expressive is a rare sight on them. For Jack, it just looks uncanny.

01:22 - Those are a lot of big words. Maybe I’m just tired, maybe my brain ain’t working 100%, but I seriously doubt parents had a good time hearing their child stuttering their way through ‘what does________ mean?’

01:30 - As I stated earlier, I don’t like this episode. One of the reasons is because it’s very slow paced. I’m fairly certain this episode’s a placeholder (considering that Sick Mind and Out of His Head are coming up and those episodes are great) but it doesn’t mean that it has to be so boring.

01:56 - This would be a bigger reveal if we hadn’t seen the thing land.

~intro~ (never have I been so glad to see it.)

02:51 - Arcee is the worst guardian. Why wouldn’t she send Jack home before going in?

03:32 - that could’ve been cool if they did the flashbacks WHILE Arcee was looking around, like if it showed the corridor/hall whatever ya wanna call it without anything, then showed what Arcee saw, rather than just giving flashbacks while Arcee stands there. 

03:46 - finally, doing a smart thing! (Although credit to her, once she recognised something was wrong she got out of the ship.)

03:50 - missed opportunity for a suspense build up then ‘my ex wife’s’. They exes.

04:02 - credit where credit’s due, this is kinda realistic. Arcee’s in a sort of panic so much that she’s blocking out her surroundings and Jack’s trying to communicate with her to understand the situation and how worried he should be.

04:04 - NO! Dear frag have you learnt NOTHING, Arcee??

04:31 - this scene feels like it should be more intense… I don’t know why, but it’s just not hitting correctly.

04:38 - If she had more gone to the neck, rather than the face plates, I think it would’ve been more suspenseful because the face plates are more cosmetic injuries and rarely scar, while the neck on the bots could be hiding more scars and could be more life threatening. Then again, maybe they were right not to do that (if you know, you know)

04:57 - I’m sorry, but I have to share.. I’m so incredibly bored and it’s only been 4 minutes.

05:15 - I.. UGH! What the frag?! I get that Arcee’s upset and all, but I’m on Jack’s side rn.

05:27 - WAS THIS SERIOUSLY THEIR JUSTIFICATION AS TO WHY JACK WAS THERE?! NO RISK?! R E A L L Y ?! THEY WERE IN A NEW LOCATION WITH BAD SERVICE WITH ONLY ONE THING TO GUIDE THEM! IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT NO RISK?!

05:44 - Jack the type to stand at the edge of a sinkhole.

06:24 - Tailgate sounds like he’s voiced by the guy who voiced Shiro in Voltron. I searched it up. He did :D AND APPARENTLY HE VOICED JACK TOO?!

06:50 - those two were dating, pretty obvious.

07:16 - H O L Y . Airachnid’s voice made me gayer. Although missed opportunity to give her an Aussie accent.

07:22 - GODDAMN She HAWT

07:45 - HOW THE FRAG DID HE KEEP ALL THAT IN A TINY BELT BAG.

07:49 - this is a still image.

07:54 - MMMM CURVES!

08:00 - makes me kinda uncomfortable seeing her spy on a child. Makes sense why the episode’s called Predatory.

08:01 - So Airachnid’s ran into no other animals?

08:22 - Airachnid’s moving side to side, why would her perspective be so steady?

09:06 - excuse me but WHAT THE FUCK?

10:01 - Jack, you actual idiot!

10:21 - No. We know she’s not down because she’s also a spider, they don’t stay down for long.

10:30 - …Someone should tell her that she’s the liability too.

10:33 - w h a t ? I can see it in your e y e s 👁👄👁

10:43 - you scratched her cheek and she gave up. The hell are you on about?

10:51 - I like that Airachnid is incredible at getting into someone’s head. She’s physically strong, yes, but she’s mostly talk because once she finds away to play her opponent like a flute she’s so much more likely to win.

10:57 - seeeee?

11:40 - Airachnid’s in Arcee’s head. Someone telling the truth would’ve acted more desperate and focus more on persuading them that their not lying rather thanspeakingallatoncetotryandgetthepointacrosstominimisethechanceofaccidentallytellingthetruth. (Just incase you couldn’t read it: than speaking all at once to try and get the point across to minimise the chance of accidentally telling the truth.)

11:56 - I thought that Airachnid was smarter than that. You never get rid of the only bargaining chip you have right away.

12:02 - that was quick…? Although dumb. Never have heartfelt moments until you’re completely out of the woods.

12:26 - let’s be honest here. She kinda does have to wonder.

12:46 - To be fair, it is working for her.

13:08 - DON’T LOOK BACK!

14:02 - YEAH! WOO! BUMBLEBEE!

14:06 - SLAY CLIIIIFF! Perhaps I shouldn’t say Slay tho-

14:09 - FRAG YEAH!

14:12 - okay, that looks so funny. With Arcee being dwarfed by Bee and Cliff.

14:16 - that couldn’t care less as Arcee screams ‘I couldn’t save him’

14:23 - I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel in this situation.

14:31 - She has SWORDS on her ARMS. Why is she trying to break the webs by force??

15:22- okay, that was kinda scary, ngl

16:25 - a lot of this is just a chase scene.

16:47 - she could’ve stepped over it.

17:18 - you and me both, Airachnid.

17:32 - WHY?! WHYYY?! WHY?! WHY WOULD HE GO IN THERE?! WHY?!

18:16 - she has a similar demeanour to Knockout. In a perfect world, the two get drinks together and talk about other people.

18:26 - smart, NOT going into the ship.

18:51 - you’re telling me he doesn’t have a match?.

19:15 - I’ve lost so many brain cells.

19:33 - his running cycle has me in tears.

19:52 - of course she’s still alive!

19:57 - oh.. Ew..

20:18 - see? Arcee had the odds with her as long as Airachnid didn’t talk.

21:02 - I’m sorry I had to witness it.

21:23 - oh, pretty- WAIT I GET IT. IT’S TO SYMBOLISE THAT THEY’RE OUT OF THE WOODS!

———————

So that was Predatory.

It’s very clearly a filler episodes (Very obviously because they didn’t bring in any other voices actors at a l l. That’s why they chose Bee and Cliffjumper to be the ones to help out Arcee, but didn’t give Cliff any speaking lines.

There was literally only three voice actors in the entire ep and it shows)

I despise this episode. I understand that Airachnid was messing with Arcee, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating to watch. It was also incredibly boring.

I thought an Airachnid central episode was a good decision as her debut, but this was not it.

[wistfulcynic]

spring equinox cake

to welcome the advent of longer days this year i made a new recipe bundt cake. It was adapted from a recipe i intended to make for the winter solstice (hence the harvest leaf pattern) but the bundt tin i ordered was not delivered--or rather, it was delivered but not to me. The courier company, in typical form, refused to do anything about it. They insisted that the parcel had been delivered and provided “proof” in the form of an extremely blurry photo that was not of my house or indeed of anyone’s house. It was unmistakably an office, in fact. The courier company was unmoved by this logic. i gave the pan up as lost. 

well as it turns out the office in the photo is an estate agent down the street. Earlier this month i discovered an old message from one of their employees on FB messenger, which i hadn’t seen before because messenger for some reason does not alert me when people outside my friends list try to contact me. This message inquired if i had by any chance ordered a cake tin, and when i answered yes i had, the woman said that they had it in their office and i could come by to pick it up at my convenience.  

a spring equinox miracle! 

apparently it was a bit of a Thing in their office, the mysterious bundt tin, and they were very excited when i came in to collect it. i was delighted they had held onto it and made an effort to locate its owner. A good ending all around. 

for the spring equinox bundt cake you need: butter, sugar, saffron, egg, flour, baking powder, honey, brown sugar, water, cinnamon stick, bay leaf, tea or other herbs for infusion. 

(bay leaf for wisdom, cinnamon for love & prosperity, saffron for courage & devotion)

this is a cake with a unique flavour profile that will taste different depending on the honey and the tea/infusion that you choose. i used acacia honey which has a mild flavour and Earl Grey Creme from Bird&Blend, a floral, aromatic black tea. It turned out very moist and a bit dense but not unpleasantly so. The flavour is strongly floral and fragrant like the tea, but the honey is discernible as is the saffron, cinnamon, and bay, though they are perhaps more in the aroma than the taste. 

at any rate, you could mix it up with different herb/spice blends, types of tea, etc. You could eliminate the honey entirely. There are loads of potential variations here. Experiment! (and if you make this please share a pic)(also this can be made without a bundt tin--try a well-lined springform pan and reduce the amount of liquid by maybe 1/3 to 1/2)

blessed equinox and happy longer days to all in the northern hemisphere! Antipodeans, hang in there ❤️.

full recipe below the cut

1/2 c golden sugar  

a few strands of saffron

1/2 c butter, softened 

1 egg

1 c syrup (1/4c honey, 1/4c brown sugar, 1/2c water, cinnamon stick, bay leaf)

2 1/2 c flour 

1 T baking powder 

pinch salt 

1 c hot water infused with tea and/or herbs of choice 

a few hours to one day before making crush a few strands of saffron and add them to the sugar. Set aside.

make the syrup by mixing the honey and brown sugar with water. Bring to a boil, remove from heat and add the cinnamon stick and bay leaf. Leave to cool and infuse.

heat water to an acceptable temperature (boiling for black tea, cooler for green tea or herbal infusion) and infuse. Strain when it has reached the desired intensity. Let cool.

soften butter.

cream butter and sugar until light & fluffy. Add egg and beat well. Add syrup gently. Sift the dry ingredients. With the mixer on low speed add the flour mixture one spoonful at a time, or fold in gently if mixing by hand, until just incorporated. Add the infusion and mix until the batter is a uniform consistency.

pour into prepared (well-greased and floured) bundt tin and bake at 350F/190C for 45-50 minutes. 

let cool 10 minutes before removing from tin by inverting over a cooling rack or plate. 

[home-at-nine]

Chapter One — Giordano's

"We sleep safe in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." - George Orwell

I step out of Will's car onto the sidewalk. I look up at his workplace, Giordano's, a fine dining restaurant in Manhattan.

"Been a while since I've eaten here," I mutter.

Will walks by me, having parked his car by now, and gestures for me to follow him in. "Remember the plan," he says.

He goes into the owner's office and I order a cup of ice cream while I wait. It's delicious.

15 minutes.

20 minutes.

30 minutes.

45 minutes.

Okay. I have two options. I walk in and interrupt, possibly at a bad time, jeopardising the gig. Or... I wait.

Fuck this.

I stand up and walk to the office. I hear laughing behind the door. Did all go well?

I knock on the door. Will opens, grinning. I peek into the office. There's a really shit painting of a duck on the wall, tiny coffee stains on the white couch, and a bookshelf that looks like no one's picked a book out of it centuries. I look at Joey Giordano, the owner of this establishment. The food's great. The ambiance is great. I particularly like how clean it is. But I suppose that doesn't need to extend to his office. Dust litters everywhere that doesn't experience daily use, so that's every corner and ledge excluding the middle of his desk, his keyboard, mouse, and the couch. The man himself is slightly round, with a chubby face and a big nose. The type of man who has the air of looking much more attractive when younger. He seemed to be in his late 50s. One, maybe two kids?

There's a photo on his desk. Family photo, not just his kids. Two. On the money. Seems he's happily married. Despite the state of his office, looks like the man himself is dressed rather well, albeit he would look more comfortable in shorts and a polo. A dress shirt and trousers don't suit him.

"You the guy?" He asks. He sounds like Joey from Friends. Not because he's Italian-American, of course. He literally sounds like Joey Tribbiani. Doubly funny because his name's Joey.

"Yeah. I'm the guy—" I take a seat "—you're looking for. Atlas. I hear one of your guys has been having issues."

"Yeah. Dicky's my best waiter. All the rich ladies from the Upper East side c'mere just to see him. I can't have his pretty face bruised. And..."

Bruises in the face? Oh god, the trailing off. "And?", I inquire.

"And I'm not the best at talking to people. I know that. Will's busy enough helping with the menu and doing more than I pay him for. If I gotta give him a little raise to make sure you can take care of this problem, then so be it.".

Will had convinced me to take on a quick gig. This way, he felt I could take rest, still do something with my time, and I feel like I was helping by making him earn a little more. Can't believe it took him an nearly an hour to convince him to give him the raise on a condition of me helping. I'm better at people, of course. But that's by no means a slight at Will's ability to handle people. He might be the best, right after me.

I guess he took it easy because he likes this guy. Or this guy's stingy with his payroll. But hold on.

I look at Will, who's been sitting on the couch while Joey and I talked at his desk.

"One minute, Mr. Tri—" I quickly catch myself "—Mr. Giordano.".

"Call me Joey."

I get up, grab Will by the arm and walk outside the office. I tell Joey, "I'll be right back, Joey.".

I turn to Will.

"What the fuck? You just said the guy had a problem. Do I look like a thug to you?"

"I don't expect you to do that kinda work, dumbass. Your strength lies in being able to handle problems and situations. Fix the problem-slash-situation that Dickey's going through that's got his 'pretty face all bruised' and we'll be on our way with a buck-fifty raise on my paycheque."

He's not wrong. He looks at me expectantly, with a slight smirk on his face as he always has.

"Fine,—" I look towards the office "—I got this.".

"I know you do, pretty boy."

Sometimes, I can't tell if I want to choke him out of rage or because he's a pretty brat. Maybe both?

I walk to Giordano and tell him, "Tell Dickey to meet me at The Green Door. He'll find it if he looks it up online. 1800 hours. Let him off early if you need to."

I walk back out to Will, who clearly heard what I said. He walks me out.

"It's been a while since I've been there. Maybe I'll drop by and grab a drink after work." "I'll wait for you. Been a minute since we've gotten the chance to drink together. I'll let you know how the meeting goes."

"I texted you the list by the way."

"The list?"

"For Frog's new school? She's new to town so I found a couple charters that are pretty close by. We also live in an overlap between two districts, so we can choose between two schools if you want to go public."

"I think we'll stick to public. They're bigger. Easier to keep things quiet, kids from all walks of life. Hell, might be better for her to experience that."

Will looks at me with a slight hint of worry. It was fleeting, like a mix of worry and sadness.

"A public school might not account for her brilliance," he said.

"I like to think I was brilliant. I turned out fine."

"You skipped out most days and jumped at the opportunity to go to college early. You hated it there. You said it felt like eternal stagnation. Don't put her through an experience you know you hated."

Ah. I fucked up, hm? He wants me to put more thought into this. I have faith in her. I think she'll turn out fine no matter where she goes.

Education is merely making clear to children the unspoken and unwritten rules and contracts of society. A society they had no real choice in joining. Of course, what good is a society if one could choose to join it.

No. Stop. You're losing track.

I just want her to like the place. But he's not wrong. I do have to account for her intelligence. Sitting in a classroom where the teacher is slowly losing their passion and their sanity having to deal with 30 kids an hour for 8 hours for 5 days a week for 4 weeks a month for 10 months a year might not yield the best results for her.

I put my hands in my pockets. The wind blows against my shirt, surprising me and consequently derailing my train of thought.

Maybe I'll try and homeschool her?

Just then, Will's voice pipes up again, "Just go see them. And take her with you. Get some ice cream. You got plenty of time before six o'clock."

I tell him I will and walk towards the closest metro. Before I step onto my train, I consider whether I should scope out the GD first. I haven't been there for a while. Maybe I'll cash in a favour.

God knows that ratty piece of shit owes me. And if he's forgotten, I'll just have to remind him. Maybe I'll grab some McDonald's for Frog on the way back.

[theghostpinesmusic]

I just posted my write-up on the Brussels "Animal," but I want to keep writing about and listening to Goose for a bit longer, so I'll do a (slightly shorter) post on this "Jive Lee" from the Glasgow show that followed Brussels on the Euro tour.

A brief introduction: "Jive Lee" is one of a trilogy of "Jive" songs from the band, the others being the creatively-named "Jive I" and "Jive II." Frequently, two of these tunes will get paired up on a setlist, while very occasionally, all three will get played at the same show. At the Glasgow show, "Jive I" was played earlier in the first set, "Jive II" was not played at all, and this particularly notable take on "Jive Lee" took place during the middle of the first set.

"Jive I" and "Jive II" are both "traditional" songs in the sense that they have lyrics, verses and choruses, and instrumental sections that are occasionally stretched out into improvised jams. Neither song is really known to be a major jam vehicle for the band, but they both stand, in my opinion at least, as great songs, and I'm always happy to hear either, or both. I'm sure I'll write about notable versions of them at some point, so to keep things short(er) today, I'll leave it at that for now.

"Jive Lee" is the "weird" one of the trilogy because it's essentially just an instrumental. It often follows "I" or "II" immediately and functions as a sort of coda, with its entirety being a "Type I" jam. Occasionally, it deviates from that structure a bit, and in fact it's been getting weirder and weirder throughout 2023, arguably without fully "going Type II." This version stands on its own, apart from either other piece of the trilogy, and it's maybe the strangest version the band has played thus far.

Where the video starts is how the tune usually goes, opening with its typical riff (and, in this case, some extra mustard from Trevor on the bass). Almost immediately, Peter deviates from the structure of the song a bit on the electric piano, and Rick backs him on rhythm guitar. If you're a "Jive Lee" connoisseur, you're already picking up that this is going to be a unique version at this point.

I love the combination of Rick's crunchy tone and Peter's electric organ in these first few minutes. Good stuff.

At about 2:30, Rick takes over soloing while Peter switches to the piano. Arguably, we've sort of re-entered "typical" "Jive Lee" space here for a bit, though that's not a complaint. The band has latched onto a groove and we're still full-steam ahead.

The rainbow lights at 4:00 are pretty great.

We take a quick breather at 5:50, and then Rick and Peter both switch over to a funk space for moment, while Peter leaves the synth on in the background. The funk doesn't last long, though, and Ben switches over to a slow backbeat almost immediately, leading the rest of the band into a more contemplative-sounding jam. I hear Rick almost play the "Bathtub Gin" riff a few times here, but almost certainly not on purpose. On my original watch of this show, here's where I started to get excited: it's the emergence of the ultra-rare Type II "Jive Lee" jam!

Rick is out front here for the first few minutes, but I really dig what both drummers are laying down in the background. Around 9:30, Peter starts playing a repeating pattern on the Vibe, then modulates it up a bit shortly after. This sort of "sample" playing is something he did a ton during a lot of Goose's best jams in 2022, and while I heard enough of it that year that it started to feel a little stale, having it pop up now and again in 2023 is great to hear.

Around 11:50, Rick's tone gets a lot more aggressive, and while the overall structure of the band's jamming doesn't change right away, it feels like we're in transition to something else. Peter starts playing a descending riff on the piano over and over and the lights get more frenetic. By 13:45, Rick is in full-on rock mode. Goose has never, in all my time of listening to them, reached full-on metal mode, but this peak is a lot more aggressive-sounding than usual, and I want to headbang as I'm listening to it again now. Take that as you will.

At 15:30, we fade out of one jam space and into another, propelled by Ben and Jeff changing up the rhythm. There is some great interplay during this fast section between Rick and Trevor, though you have to struggle to listen to the bass, as it's low in the mix in pretty much every single Euro tour recording I've heard (as I've likely complained about before already).

Complaints aside, the transition at 17:10 into the composed ending of "Jive Lee" is seamless, putting an exclamation point on the end of an exceptionally strong and exploratory version.

The video I shared continues with Goose's cover of the NRBQ song "Howard Johnson's Got His Ho-Jo Workin'," which is a rare tune (only played four times since it was debuted in 2020), but since there no extended improv here, I'm not going to write about it in particular. It's a fun cover, listen to it if you want!

[talenlee]

CoX: Z3-R0

Time to time, I write up an explication of characters I’ve played in RPGs or made for my own purpose.  This is an exercise in character building and creative writing.

Across the islands of the Etoile and the remnants of Praetoria, the mercenary known as ZERO has taken on mission after mission, supposedly for the highest bidder. Nobody knows who hires her, but everyone respects what she can do – and the outbreaks of monsters that she’s an expert in dealing with.

Zero’s definitely got that symbiote swag – rippling extensions of her flesh that let her shapeshift, create armour, heal rapidly, and attack from unforseen angles. She looks familiar? Maybe.

Praetoria’s darkest deeds are back with an old threat in a new time!

Serious. Reserved. Aloof, even, possibly even methodical to the point of frightening. Most people who work with Zero, across the Etoile and Praetorian reconstruction, don’t really know her as a personality, just as a efficient and functional mercenary. She shows up, she beats up Spiders, she beats up Family, she beats up Carnies, and then she goes, never bothering to make friends or contacts, for some reason.

Power-wise, she’s a very obvious kind of mutant monster type; she walks in a cloud of poison, her weapons are made out of carapaces of flesh and rippled coral on her skin. She hits things hard enough to throw them around, can shake the room by stomping on the ground. When she has to reach things that are a distance away, she either throws something or uses a tendril or long clawed arm to do it, snapping back to a normal shape once she’s done.

When it comes to her skillset, it seems that she isn’t really endowed with a lot of exploratory skills – not prone to bookkeeping or lockpicking or computer use. She has the personality of a thrown brick when she’s fighting and usually shows up to jobs with specialist. Sometimes she’ll even refer to them as ‘nerd’ to give them directions.

Her bio is, also, based on the box text for Metroid Fusion.

Mechanics

God, brutes are dumb. Just so good, all the tools in one spot. Anyway, yeah, uh, Zero’s build is disgusting. No purple IOs, one PVP IO, no Winter or Archetype IOs. I think if I bought all the pieces for this build the whole thing would come in under the amount of money she’d earn farming a character up to level 50.

She’s a Stone Melee/Bio Armour Brute. Bio Armour is probably the strongest armour set available if you’re looking for something to stick IOs on, because it provides so much general stuff that anything you add can push it across thresholds for survival. Like the difference between 44% and 45% defense may not seem like much but it is 100% of the potential incoming damage you can have a defense for.

Her build, in total, is looking at:

45% defence to Smashing, Lethal, Fire and Cold damage along with 42% defense to melee, which like, I wasn’t gunning for that, just got that for getting all the other stuff.

75% smashing/lethal resistance, which scales up when she has more targets in her area of effect

71% global recharge, without hasten which is important because stone melee hits like a train (which is to say, once every fifteen minutes)

The most ludicrous permanent buffs from Parasitic Aura, up 50% of the time

As an experience to play she’s incredible, because the worst thing I can say about her is there’s waiting time. She arrives, drops an AOE attack and then waits until everyone mills around her, builds up her fury bar, and then fires off the AOE attack again, because it’s not like anyone can kill her in that time. She also has Seismic Smash, a power I love because at high levels of fury, it can be a ‘delete this’ button for a bunch of enemy types.

History

Zero is a test character.

Specifically, when City of Heroes: Homecoming launched, one of the first things I did was to make some characters. Then I set myself rules. One rule was that, in order to stop my extremely stupid altitis from getting out of hand, I wouldn’t make any new characters until the last character I made was level 50, IO’d and at least Veteran Level 1. I wanted to learn new ways to sustain myself, since my old account on live was rich – not wealthy, I wasn’t Smurphy, but I had money enough to throw a few billion at things and a large body of level 50 characters.

Zero therefore, originally called ‘Project Zero’ was one of my earliest characters that persists. I made her to be something I thought would be very self-sustaining, had no real meaningful character history, and would just find what the game presented in its new form. At this point, one thing I keenly felt was a weakness of mine from that old period, which is what I keep mean is ‘Live,’ was how bad I was at making women characters, believing that fell to ‘women players.’ This is, yes, very dumb.

Another thing I knew I wasn’t great at was variety in costumes. I didn’t tend to make characters who had a lot of looks, they’d often have one and then do nothing with the other slots. Characters wouldn’t have a variety of looks, things that represented ‘this is how this character would think about how they want to dress.’ I resolved to fix that this time and part of how I fixed it was uhhh

By uh

Copying someone who has a lot of cool looks.

It hit upon the look for Zero of her Samus Aran lookalike, and then ran around trying out Homecoming, seeing if it was a ‘real’ game or not. And eventually, the time came to breathe life into her, and come up with an explanation for what she is and why she is. Why stone? Why bio armour? Why science, and not some other effect? I had these pieces, already set around me, and I had to come up with an explanation for it that held it together.

An explanation that also covered ‘wtf does she look like Samus Aran?’

And thus we come to the horror underneath Zero.

Z3-R0 is not just a way to spell the name ‘zero’. It’s a base-36 number, representing a range from 1263 to 972, a range that counts down 291 units of something. Whatever it is, that’s a pretty large number of them, and it’s the earliest piece of information Zero remembers putting together. It’s the digits on the containment chambers that broke and flowed together to make…

her.

If you’re paying attention to these OCs, you might remember Astray. He’s basically a ‘Spiderman Style Symbiote’ building on the idea of goopy monsters that bond to people to make them cool monster people with a bio-goopy shapeshift that highlights their personalities. I talked about them with Wild Hare, too, where I touched on the idea that there’s a conspiracy fighting to protect and care for the Symbiotes, many of which have been lost and scattered, attaching to hosts or lurking in wait around the ruins of Praetoria to glom onto a host.

A coagulation of these Symbiotes, symbiotes sticking to one another and enhancing one another, forming a fountain of terrible scientific failures into the form of a person, resulted in a person, standing out of the mess, calling itself Zero, as it taught itself to read, as it rapidly ingested information. I don’t know when Zero first encountered Super Metroid, but the X-Parasite and SA-X was the first time it considered an identity like that, the ability to become someone it chose to be, and it chose to be her.

It became she, and modelled herself on Samus Aran. A hunter, a hero, a guard, and a monster.

Zero is a monster girl. Under her skin, there’s layers of corded fluid flesh that don’t follow the rules of flesh and bones. There’s structure to her, to be what she wants to be, but there’s no reason it makes sense, no way it would have evolved. She is a terrible thing, a collection of predatory, flesh-eating inhuman sinew…

And she is striving to be a human. A good one, at that.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[wildweirdly]

A story about taking the bus (long)

Emma lives a couple cities over in a somewhat secluded area, about a 45 minute drive from me. There's a bus that goes there for just $3 and that's where I am now, doing some writing and listening to music while I travel. This will be the second time I've taken it, with this past Sunday being the first.

The trip itself takes about an hour but the seats on this bus are upgraded like a coach so they're a bit more stylish and several magnitudes more comfortable than the regular buses. This one is also air conditioned which is especially welcome since I'm wearing my anxiety vest again. These days I've been on edge and attempting to rely less on weed so I've been wearing it to help curb the physical symptoms.

Emma told me the reason this bus is nicer than the rest is because students use it to get to the college near her. I don't know if that's true or not but I believe it. She'll be going there starting the end of this month to take a couple classes and finnish her degree. This time around she's aiming for a job as a therapist, using her prior medical accreditation as a springboard.

Since we met she's often brought up the subject of school and how she thinks I should go back because I'm "very smart". She doesn't have the same struggles as me so she doesn't seem to understand that there are a few certain barriers I'd have to breach to make something like that possible. On top of that she makes $21-$50 an hour so money isn't an issue for her. I guess that's the difference between working in a grocery store like I do and working in a hospital like she does. Fortunately I haven't had to deal with any customers dying or bleeding or anything so I'd say I'm the luckier one of the two of us.

Last time I visited her, Emma was running on 3 hours of sleep which kicked her anxiety into overdrive. She's one of the types that's afraid of medication so she's not taking anything for it which I could never do myself (I struggle badly even with my meds!) Since then she's managed to sleep properly but her mind has been in Panic Mode and doesn't seem to want to ease out of it. I know I can't fix things but I'm hoping my presence today might help calm her a little. At the very least I know I can be a good cuddle partner, and sometimes that makes all the difference.

This will be the third time I've spent the night with her, and every time it happens is always so interesting to me. When we first started seeing each other she spoke about taking things slow and cautious and how she wanted to start off as "friends with benefits". Similarly she said she didn't know if she would classify what we were doing as "dating", and that she needed to know me better before we got physical. We ended up getting physical that same day, and two days later I was asleep in her bed.

Emma and I are both trans, but I'm the first trans man she's ever been with. Up to this point she's mainly ever been with cis guys, and some of the marks it's left on her are telling. She told me about being grabbed unprompted and was curious why I asked before putting my hands on her. In a way it made her nervous I wasn't interested so I had to explain that until I become more familiar with her boundaries I'm not going to like, randomly grab her ass while we're talking or anything like that. On top of this she's used to men pulling the ol "cum and go" and she said she hadn't had anyone who wanted more out of her than just sex in a long time. She's also not used to men showering before seeing her which I can't even begin to imagine putting up with. Maybe I've just been lucky with the people I've been with, I dunno! I would absolutely hit the breaks if someone smelled bad like that, yanno? Like it's one thing to be a little sweaty or whatever but it's an entirely different story if someone had an active smell. Just really not something I could handle!

Overall I think whatever we have going on is going to bring positive change for both of us. So far it's afforded me travel, much needed company, and physical affection. We've been to a concert, out to dinner, and we're traveling to the Thousand Islands area tomorrow for a hike and picnic (weather permitting). She's also mentioned needed affection and attention so we both are able to fill that void quite nicely. I hope to end up in an Official Relationship with her eventually but for now it's good to know she enjoys my lace in her life

[rinshairandthoughts]

The unionizing post I just reblogged reminded me of the only palpable downside to my own job.

What counts as full time work?

Like. We generally consider 32-40 hours to be full time work and count for benefits and vacation time and all that jazz. Great. I physically can not work more than 25 hands on hours a week for more than a few weeks in a row without feeling like I have achy bones, achy joints and sore enough muscles to make me want to quit/take a month off just to recover my sanity and health.

A full rant below.

I know that there are massage therapists out there that can work 40 hours, but they are either gentle only, an athletic type/powerhouse, or highly trained for specific techniques and leverages to be able to manage that. Your average massage therapist is only going to be physically capable of 16-20 hours of hands on work a week in the same range as any average job at 40 hours a week.

One of the reasons we “get high pay” is because you basically have to cut the salary in half for work ability. So, say I make $30 an hour, I’m really only make the equivalent of $15 an hour if I was comparing it to other full time work. Because we can not put our bodies and minds through that every week for decades.

When I am working I do not get a moment to recover, because the time that people are changing in and out of clothes, I am prepping for the next massage, trying to remember what I need to make specific notes of, and maybe handing them some water on their way out.  The expectation is 50 minutes of hands on, do not stop moving or focusing on what you are actively currently doing, then a 10 minute - wash hands, hand them water, change the room, check in with both last patient on their way out, and ask new patient on their way in what needs to be worked on, then wash hands and get back to hands on work. Barely time to breathe from start to finish. Unless someone is late, which has other stress factors about how much time/is there time to do notes/laundry/get a sip of tea/water, etc.

I work for a business and I do not have to do my own billing, but I do have to take notes and sometimes fill out extra paperwork for assessments and other things. I do not get paid for any of the extra, other than laundry and what my job call “Queries” but at this point in time “Queries” have basically gone out the window since COVID-19 (too long a story and irrelevant). So, I work 4 hours hands on, spend about an hour extra at the office to do laundry, set up the room, refill any lotion or alcohol, or other thing related to my side of the office. I get paid for the 4 hours of hands on, and the 15 minutes of laundry/ 15 minutes per load of laundry, 4 hours is usually just one load of laundry. So I often have 45 minutes of work that is “paid for by the hands on hours” or something.

I have lost the plot of this, I guess I am just venting about the one side of my job that sucks, because if I miss work, and do not take extra hours from the base 20 hours a week, I may not be/am probably not eligible for any benefits, even though our HR manages to get a work around for full time at 20 hours a week, and I know we are one of very few companies that managed to get that for massage therapists. I also do not think I can take the paid time off for family sick leave....because “I do not work full time”.

A lot of people do not understand how much work it is to do a good deep tissue/myofascial release/treatment based massage. And that any therapist that works over 21 hours a week is working overtime and should be though of like the people that work 45-60 hours a week at other jobs.

I have talked to therapists that were also heavy labor workers and said that treatment work was much harder. I’m quite sure it has to do with the ability to take a moment to breathe, take a sip of water, and then get back to work in between things. The only time I do not have my hands on someone in those 50 minutes straight, is when I am getting lotion and switching areas of the body to work on.

This is not mentioning all the muscles I am assessing, asking about pressure if there is a sound/breathing pattern/muscle reaction that feels off, the constant need to try to make sure you are talking the right amount, using the right pressure, if you hit the right areas, are they in too much pain to do an action/movement for a pin and stretch move, etc. Also, when they do not get better. The mental energy of trying to fix a problem, giving it a few weeks, then having to tell them to see someone else, or try some at home stretching and exercises, etc. It’s a whole thing. I have the mental stress of a physical therapist,  but I do not have the reputation of someone that can “heal” anyone. Even if I do, and get a lot of feedback that I was able to fix pain that PT and doctors could never figure out.

I guess part of this is, please tip your therapists unless they are specifically not allowed to be tipped, we don’t make as much as you think we make, especially if the office takes insurance like Regence/Blue Cross Blue Shield etc.

But really. I just want to be recognized for how hard my work is, and 20 hours is a lot of time to be in that mental and physical state every week.