#like. why are you doing politics if not for people? who is it for? for the abstract symbolism of moral purity? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kashverse · 2 days ago

Text

𝒴our first encounter with the 呪術廻戦 men

⪩⪨ ✶ implied f!reader but can be read otherwise (use of "pretty" in choso's version), strangers to lovers, fluff, featuring ♡ canon! gojo, canon! geto, single dad! toji, modern au! choso, canon! sukuna in a modern au, corporate! nanami ✿ ⪩⪨ tried a new formatting style..! ib my dear @norikuna (∩˃o˂∩)♡

gojo doesn’t see you coming. not because he’s oblivious—though, sure, that’s part of it—but because he’s too busy making himself miserable, listening to some poor bastard on the phone cry about their ex. it’s barely noon, the sun’s out, people are living their lives, and this guy’s talking about how he let “the one” slip through his fingers. “bro, just get another one,” gojo had said, dead-eyed, waiting for the crosswalk light to change. the response was more crying. he sighed, hanging up.

and then he smacked straight into you.

not a polite bump, not even a nudge—full-on body collision, your forehead meeting his chin with a sharp crack. the impact was enough to send you both stumbling, but while gojo’s built like a brick wall, you had all the misfortune of being knocked back a few steps. “ow—what the fuck?!” your voice came first, and then, through the dizzying pain, you saw him. tall, white-haired, stupidly good-looking in an insufferable way, dressed like he was on some model’s off-day. sunglasses slid down the bridge of his nose, and even through the slight daze, you could see the sharp glint of his blue eyes peering down at you.

“ah, my bad—”

“your bad?” your voice rose, disbelieving. the pain hadn’t even settled yet, but your temper had. “you nearly took my head off!”

gojo blinked. “well, technically, if i took your head off, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” he pointed out. “unless you’re a talking head, which would be—"

“are you serious?” you cut him off, hands flying up in exasperation. “you’re just standing in the middle of the damn sidewalk—”

“crosswalk,” he corrected.

“—like a fucking lamppost,” you barreled on, ignoring him. “and then you hit me. no, actually, you collided with me like a fucking train, and now you’re just standing there?”

you looked ready to kill him. gojo thought you looked radiant. people don’t really yell at him. they get nervous, flustered, awkward. maybe they complain a little, but they don’t yell. not like this—not with this kind of raw, unfiltered rage that was directed solely at him.

and he was loving it.

“ohhh, you’re mad mad,” he said, grinning.

“no shit?” you spat, rubbing your forehead. “you’re huge! why do you walk like you don’t know how to control your own size?”

“i’m huge? that’s a compliment,” he mused. “also, you ran into me.”

“i did not—"

“you did, but it’s okay,” he waved off. “i forgive you.”

your mouth dropped open. your jaw clenched so hard you swore you heard it click. “i don’t need your forgiveness,” you snapped. “i need you to watch where the hell you’re going!” gojo just smiled. “i can do that,” he said. “but only if you tell me your name first.”

you squinted at him. “why?”

“so i know what to say in my apology,” he said smoothly. “y’know, something heartfelt, real personal. ‘i’m so sorry, dear stranger, for running into you with my big, strong, muscular body—’”

your scowl deepened. “forget it,” you turned to leave, shaking your head.

gojo grabbed your wrist. lightly, like he was afraid you’d shake him off (which you probably would). “wait,” he said, less teasing this time, more curious.

you stopped, staring at him warily. “what?”

he grinned. “you’re fun.”

you yanked your arm out of his grip. “you’re annoying.”

but you weren’t yelling anymore. and maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.

toji doesn't believe in love—at least, not in the way people like to romanticize it. to him, love has always been transactional. people want things: security, pleasure, a warm body to cling to at night. he provides, they take. simple.

commitment? fuck no. he’s been there, done that, and all it got him was a headache and a kid who looks at him like he’s a walking disappointment. not that he blames megumi—he knows exactly the kind of man he is. relationships, from what he's seen, are just another job. another obligation. more shit to deal with when he's already stretched thin making sure megumi doesn't starve or turn into a little menace. and he's already got enough on his plate.

raising megumi is work. the kid is sharp, stubborn, and way too perceptive for his own good. keeping up with him is exhausting. fulfilling someone else’s expectations on top of that? hell no.

people ask if he’s lonely. he laughs. lonely? he’s got freedom. no nagging, no obligations, no answering to anyone but himself and, on the worst days, a grumpy eight-year-old who somehow thinks he’s smarter than him. love, in his experience, is just a distraction. and toji fushiguro doesn’t do distractions.

and toji swears he only looked away for a second.

he was just checking the damn price tag on some overpriced brand of instant noodles, and when he looked back, megumi was gone. poof. like a magic trick, except it wasn’t a trick, and the rising panic in his chest was very, very real. “shit,” he muttered, scanning the aisles. nothing. just a bunch of old ladies and college kids looking for cheap meals. no messy black hair, no tiny scowl. he ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep calm. he didn’t want to make a scene. people lost their kids all the time, right? it wasn’t a big deal. he just had to—

and then he saw him.

megumi was at the end of the next aisle, small hands clenched at his sides, his mouth pressed in a thin, stubborn line, like he wasn’t scared, even though he definitely was. and right next to him, crouched down to his level, was you. “you’re really good at this,” you said. megumi blinked up at you. “huh?”

“the whole ‘not panicking’ thing,” you smiled at him. “most kids freak out when they lose their parents. you’re staying calm. that’s cool.” megumi looked away, like he wasn’t sure if that was actually a compliment or not. “i don’t wanna cause trouble,” he muttered.

“aw, but that’s what parents are for,” you teased. “causing them trouble.” megumi almost smiled. almost. toji, still frozen in place, narrowed his eyes. who the hell were you?

“c’mon, let’s go find your dad,” you said, standing up and holding out a hand. megumi didn’t take it, but he followed you anyway, his short legs working hard to keep up with your pace. and toji? well. he wasn’t sure why, but instead of stepping forward, he let you find him.

he let you do the whole thing, watching as you walked with megumi, asking him questions—where he last saw his dad, what his name was, what he looked like.

“he’s really tall,” megumi said. you hummed. “tall, huh? that helps.”

“and he’s got a scar on his mouth,” he added.

“even better. anyone who looks scary is easier to spot.”

megumi frowned a little. “he’s not scary.” you smiled, ruffling his hair. “i bet he isn’t.”

toji snorted under his breath.

by the time you turned the corner and finally spotted him, megumi exhaled in relief. toji pretended not to notice how fast he ran up to him, grabbing the fabric of his shirt like he wasn’t just saying how calm he was. you, on the other hand, stopped a few steps away, hands on your hips. “you must be the scary, not-scary dad,” you said.

toji raised an eyebrow. “and you’re just a random saint, huh?” you shrugged. “not a saint. just someone who doesn’t like seeing kids upset.”

he looked at you, really looked at you. you didn’t seem put out by any of this, like helping some stranger’s kid wasn’t an inconvenience, but just another part of your day. like it was normal. toji let out a breath, then tilted his head down at megumi. “you good, kid?”

megumi nodded, though he still wasn’t letting go of toji’s shirt. toji sighed, glancing back at you. “guess i owe you, huh?”

you waved him off. “don’t worry about it. just keep an eye on him next time.”

toji huffed a laugh. “easier said than done.”

you grinned, giving megumi one last look before turning to leave. and toji? well. maybe being responsible for two people wouldn’t be so bad after all.

nanami never thought much about being single. it wasn’t a matter of pride or principle—just reality. his job was time-consuming, his patience was thin, and the thought of entertaining someone else’s needs after a long workday felt exhausting. he wasn’t lonely, just… fine. indifferent.

until he got sick of his office food.

“this is inedible,” he said flatly, staring at the sad excuse of a meal on his plate. his colleague, barely looking up from his own tray, mumbled, “it’s fine.”

nanami’s eye twitched. it was not fine. rubbery chicken, dry rice, and a soup that tasted more like dishwater than anything edible. this was not a meal—it was a punishment.

so, he made a change.

he found a small business that delivered homemade meals, something personal but convenient. it promised variety, quality ingredients, and, most importantly, flavor.

what he didn’t expect were the notes.

the first one came tucked under the neatly packed meal.

“hope today isn’t too exhausting! eat well!”

nanami stared at it for longer than he should have. then, at the food—real food. properly cooked, properly seasoned, steaming with warmth that no canteen meal could ever replicate. he didn’t think about it much. a kind gesture, that was all. but the notes kept coming.

“long meetings? i packed extra today.”

“rainy day! hope this brings some warmth.”

“rough week? your food will always be good at least.”

and then—

“your order is always so precise. you must be someone who likes routine.”

nanami paused mid-bite. he did like routine. he thrived on it. and yet, this—this unexpected kindness, these little messages—was beginning to throw him off in a way he couldn’t explain. weeks passed, meals came, and nanami found himself looking forward to them—not just for the food, but for the words that came with it. one afternoon, after another insufferable meeting, he opened his meal to find:

“do you ever take breaks? hope you’re not working too hard.”

he let out a breath, something between a sigh and a laugh. he was working too hard. but how did you—someone he’d never met—seem to know that better than the people around him? finally, curiosity got the better of him. he grabbed a pen and, for the first time, wrote back.

“who are you?”

the next day, his meal came with a note, just like always.

“just someone who wants you to eat well. but i wouldn’t mind knowing who you are too.”

and for the first time in a long time, nanami thought—maybe being single wasn’t so fine after all.

geto doesn’t believe in love. not in the way people romanticize it, anyway. he’s known desire—used it, wielded it like a tool, a means to an end. a well-timed smile, a hand grazing a wrist, a whispered promise—all of it was just another step in expanding his cause. people were easy to sway when you made them feel special. and being single? it wasn’t something he mourned. it was efficient. no attachments, no complications, no wasted energy. everything he did, every conversation, every encounter—it all served a purpose.

until you.

“you’ve been talking for a while,” you said, tilting your head at him. geto smiled. “am i boring you?”

“not at all. just wondering if you’re going to get to the point.”

he chuckled, swirling his drink. clever. impatient. interesting.

“what do you think my point is?”

you leaned back, thoughtful. “well, you’re charming, you have that practiced ease of someone who’s very used to getting what they want, and yet…” you narrowed your eyes. “you haven’t tried to get anything from me yet.”

his smile twitched. perceptive too. “maybe i’m just enjoying the conversation.”

“hmm.” you didn’t look convinced. “i doubt you talk to people without a reason.”

he laughed, shaking his head. “you wound me. am i not allowed to simply appreciate good company?”

you smirked. “do you?”

and that was the problem, wasn’t it? he did.

he was supposed to be recruiting you. that was why he approached you in the first place—he had assessed, observed, picked you out for your potential. another piece in his grander vision. but now? now, he was talking to you about books, about philosophy, about things that had nothing to do with his cause.

he liked your sharp tongue, your quick comebacks, the way you saw through people but humored them anyway. and he was enjoying this. more than he should.

“you’re thinking too hard,” you noted.

“am i?”

“yeah. for someone who flirts so easily, you seem oddly distracted.”

he chuckled, shaking his head. you had no idea. for the first time in a long time, geto suguru had forgotten his purpose. and strangely enough, he didn’t mind.

choso doesn’t really get love. it’s not that he doesn’t feel it—he does, deeply, messily, all-consuming in the way only someone who has lived too long without it can. it’s just that he doesn’t understand how it’s supposed to work. his friends talk about relationships like they’re puzzles, like you’re supposed to fit into someone else’s life piece by piece, no gaps, no edges sticking out. but choso? he keeps forcing the wrong pieces together. he’s had his heart broken by so many situationships, and he doesn’t even know what that word means. all he knows is that people like him enough to stay for a while, but not enough to stay forever. and when someone ghosts him? it’s over.

“why would they do that?” he asks yuuji, completely distraught. “i thought we were getting along.” yuuji winces. “yeah, but… sometimes people just disappear, man. it’s not your fault.”

“but why not just say they don’t like me?”

“because people suck.”

choso frowns. love is confusing. people are confusing. nothing makes sense.

until he meets you.

more specifically, until you send a pug flying in his direction. one second, he’s minding his own business, sipping a coffee, staring blankly at nothing. the next—

“watch out!”

and then—THUD.

a very round, very squishy pug collides with his chest, knocking the air out of him. he blinks. looks down. the pug is fine. choso, however, is shaken.

“oh my god, i’m so sorry,” you pant, running up to him, looking horrified. “he’s got the speed of a missile and the weight distribution of a sack of potatoes. are you okay?”

choso is still holding the pug. he has not processed a single thing except that you’re talking to him, and you’re really pretty. you snap your fingers in front of his face.

“hello? earth to guy who just got body slammed by my dog?”

he swallows. “i—i’m okay.”

you sigh in relief. “good. i don’t think my insurance covers ‘pug-related assaults.’”

he stares. then—

he laughs.

it’s an awkward, slightly delayed laugh, but it’s real. it bubbles out of him, because suddenly, everything is just… simple. you’re still talking, apologizing, trying to pry your dog from his grip, and he realizes—love doesn’t have to be this big, complicated thing. it can be a stranger, a runaway pug, and a stupidly perfect moment where he thinks, 'oh. this is it.'

sukuna has never cared for love. love is mortal, fleeting, an indulgence for the weak. he has lived for centuries without it, conquered, destroyed, thrived—all on his own. why bother with attachment? why waste time on something that promises nothing but vulnerability? he’s always been perfectly fine like this.

until the night he meets you at the bar.

he doesn’t even mean to notice you at first—just another human in a crowded room, laughing, talking, lighting up the space with an ease he’s never possessed.

and then he hears you speak. your voice is smooth, effortless, like you’re meant to be heard. every sentence flows into the next, words never fumbling, never uncertain. you make people laugh, pull them in, keep them hanging on to every syllable. sukuna watches, listens, enthralled, before someone leans in and calls you by name—your full name. followed by—

“aren’t you that talk show host?”

and it clicks. you are. he’s seen your face before, flickering on a television screen, a passing glimpse at a life so far removed from his own.

and now he’s irritated. because you talk so easily with everyone but him. and that won’t do.

so he tries. for the first time in centuries, he tries to talk to someone—like a normal person, like it’s something he’s done before, like it’s as easy as you make it look.

but it’s not. it’s a disaster.

he waits until the crowd around you has thinned, takes the seat next to you, and—

“so.” he clears his throat. “you talk to people for a living.”

you turn, blinking, mildly amused. “i do.”

he nods, confident. good start. then nothing. his mind goes blank. shit.

you raise a brow, waiting. sukuna glares at his drink like it’s betrayed him. “how do you do it?”

you tilt your head. “do what?” he gestures vaguely. “talk. keep people engaged.”

you blink. “are you asking me how to hold a conversation?”

his jaw tenses. “no.”

you laugh. he scowls.

he tries again. “what makes a good interview?”

“oh, that’s easy,” you hum. “you have to be genuinely interested in the other person.”

he deadpans.

you smirk. “which means you have to actually listen to what they’re saying.”

“i listen,” he grumbles.

“really?” you lean in. “then what were we just talking about?”

silence. your smirk widens. “you weren’t listening.”

he groans, dragging a hand down his face. this is hell.

but he keeps trying. keeps failing, keeps making an idiot of himself, keeps suffering through every one of your knowing smiles—because for the first time in his miserable, ancient existence, he actually wants to learn.

he wants to talk to you.

and maybe, just maybe, he wants you to talk to him, too.

406 notes · View notes

valentine-cafe · 2 days ago

Text

˖⁺. “ let me love you darkly, slowly ” :

﹙ top outlaw male x bttm male aristrocrat reader ﹚.𖹭 ݁

. . . verse 9819 alessio x male reader !! 🍒 : ﹙ outlaw ˖ serial killer ˖ inhuman illusionist ﹚

the infamous aristrocrat serial killer has your family on his hit list. but it would seem that you are different. will you take his hand and run with him? so that he may love you darkly, slowly.

﹙ cws ﹚: dark romance ˖ explicit content at end ˖ mentions of parental abuse ( towards reader ) ˖ violence ˖ death ˖ penetrative sex ˖ hand job ˖ rough sex ˖ multiple orgasms ˖ alessio uses clones of himself in sex | wc : 0.7k

﹙ receipts ﹚: a dark little piece for our favourite outlaw <3

꒰ other treats : guidelines ˖ m.list ˖ characters ˖ our lore ꒱

Usually, the infamous ace of spades’ knives are always willing and ready to sink into the vulnerable flesh of his next political victims. You were no different, until you were. A precious dove to fly into his life, that he had thought a hawk at first sight, judging by the image of your family across the city.

The youngest son of a famous aristocrat. Whom Alessio had pursued with intent of seduction before death. Yet your heart was made of something more beautiful than gold. Nothing like your father’s. Each smile that graced your lips was a blessing to him, he’d been ashamed of targeting you.

One may wonder why he went for you first and not the man that brought you into this world. Well, the very reason for that is that your entire family were on his list of undertaking, and he decided to go one by one, random pick. And you so happened to be the one the wheel landed on.

Your name was quickly wiped from it, with the blood of your mother splattering the paper. The note he left on her desk wrote:

“Farewell, to the two-faced wench, who advocated hiking medicare prices.” The pencil scratched across her signature, then got stamped with the ace of spades in Alessio’s quick escape.

He’d taken you with him that night. Held your hand tight in his as you ran away from the burning estate. Perhaps it was the unhealthy amount of childhood discipline and reprimanding you had earned as you grew up. You did not really care for the deaths of your family. Your father beat you bloodied and bruised, and your mother tormented you at any possible moment she could.

Your siblings were none the better than them, growing into their toxic behaviour and mannerisms. You refused to let your soul sour the way theirs had. It wasn’t hard to tell right or wrong. It wasn’t hard to really understand what the man you were running away with was doing.

It was no secret, you should have been long gone by now. And you were announced so by the public after the burning of the cold place you called home. With no trace of the family found below the rubble.

Instead, you now occupied yourself with the people of the lower city, aiding the poor and funding your saviour’s organisation with all of the money you had inherited. How they got a hold of it, you weren’t so sure. You didn’t bother questioning.

You found yourself falling for the man that was your executioner turned saviour. A part of you questioned your own morality.

But what was morality when compared to his kisses? What was the meaning or black and white when his hands fixed to your waist and held you so tight against him? Right and wrong be damned. It felt all the same in his arms.

By night, you often found yourself in Alessio’s bed. The air getting knocked out of you when he fucked you from behind. His hand squeezing away at the base of your dick to pump ferally at it. His dick pounding your pretty ass open and eager for him.

“That’s it—” You gasp out in unison to the grunt in your ear, hole and walls fluttering around him. While his arms cage you against the dark bedsheets.

The sight of your bodies intermingled, dimly lit, with a sheen layer of sweat covering your skin, flutters your tumm, as a hand reaches down to direct your face upwards. Helping you watch what he’s doing to you.

“This pretty ass ‘s all mine— All fucking mine-” Rough hands split your legs apart and images of him begin to appear all around you, to touch you, praise you, kiss you.

His powers are incredible in bed. Your head gets loopy by the feel of one of his clones sucking down hard at your throbbing tip. You barely get to process that he yanks yet another orgasm out of you. Cum squirts out on his hand which he brings up to lick away at.

“My pretty little dove,” he groans from above you. Swarming your blissed out face with rough hands to cup your cheeks. His movements hardly halt. Long, hard strokes shake your trembling body.

This. This feels right. Him inside. Him on top of you. All over you. To hell with wrong. You’d take the grey if it meant his warm hands. His intoxicating lips.

“Please.” You quiver.

Alessio can all but grin. His pretty little aristocrat. Now all his.

“Say it again baby,” he hums. “Beg. It suits you far better.”

﹙ taglist. ﹚: | get tagged for specific posts

﹙ tip jar. ﹚: like our work? consider suporting us 𖹭

266 notes · View notes

foenixed · 3 days ago

Text

Hey, my two interests (comic books and transgenderism) are aligned! I'd like to take this opportunity to inform people a little about why her creation of Black Lightning was so important and made her, despite the honestly relatively small number of comics she's written, so influential.

So, the year is 1977 and there aren't many black superheroes at the Big Two (Marvel and DC). Black Panther was the first, introduced in 1966, then Falcon (1969), Black Racer (1971), John Stewart/Green Lantern (1972), Luke Cage (1972) (who also took the title for first Black character to have their own series), Storm (1975) and Bumblebee (1976). Prexisting civilian character Bill Foster was made into Black Goliath (1975) and Mal Duncan into the Guardian (1976). Notably, the writer who turned Bill Foster into a superhero is also the star of this story, Jenny Blake Isabella.

For those keeping track, that's 5 characters at Marvel and 4 at DC. But DC had another problem, and that is that their few black characters are less notable than Marvel's. Black Racer had only really appeared as a side character in a miniseries, Bumblebee and Guardian were part of the failing Teen Titans series and didn't even make 10 appearances before its cancellation, and John Stewart had only appeared in 4 stories, AND he was stuck playing second fiddle because the main Green Lantern was Hal Jordan. They needed a black superhero. They needed a headliner.

Enter Black... Bomber? As has since been revealed, Black Lightning wasn't originally going to be Black Lightning. No. DC had a much worse idea in mind, which Isabella referred to as "Easily one of the most offensive concepts I had ever seen."

As she explained in the foreword to the 2015 Black Lightning TPB:

“During my exclusive arrangement with Marvel, I kept thinking about creating a new African-American hero. I wanted a character to whom our young readers could relate, a character who would inspire them as Superman and Captain America had inspired me. Unexpectedly, a DC editorial misstep gave me that opportunity. DC purchased two scripts for a planned new series called The Black Bomber. The hero, who would be their first "black" character to star in his own title, was a white racist Vietnam vet, who, as a result of taking part in chemical experiments to allow soldiers to blend in better with the jungle, turned into a black supehero in moments of stress. It gets worse. In each of the two well-intentioned scripts, the hero would, in his white racist persona, save a person he couldn't see clearly and, on finding out the person was black, exclaim something along the lines of- and this is a quote- "You mean I risked my life to save a jungle bunny?" And it gets worse. His superhero suit, such as it was, looked for all the world like a basketball uniform. Sweet Christmas!”

“DC wanted me to rewrite those two scripts and go solo on The Black Bomber with the third issue. I begged them to reconsider. It took some time, but I convinced them to consign the Bomber to limbo with the ultimate question: "Do you want your first black superhero to be a white bigot?" Common sense prevailed.”

And prevail it did. In only three weeks, Isabella invented a completely new character to replace the Black Bomber: the man called Jefferson Pierce, aka Black Lightning.

“I returned to my Cleveland roots for three weeks and came back to the DC offices with Jefferson Pierce. He was a teacher because, in a moment of clarity, I realized the one thing the vast majority of our readers had in common was that they all had gone/were going to school. He was based in an urban setting because I had become more political since starting my career and those were the stories I wanted to tell…and still do. He was an Olympic athlete because logic told me he had to have some sort of edge that was not the result of science or mutation.”

“The only thing I didn't have for my new character was a superhero name. Jeff and I found that name in the office of legendary editor Julius Schwartz. On Julie's wall, I spotted a Wonder Woman cover in which she was attempting to lasso a "black lightning bolt" while shouting, "Hera help me stop this Black Lightning before it splits this building in two!" Black Lightning. It sounded very cool to me, and Jeff liked it too. Neither one of us remembered it had also been the name of Western hero Johnny Thunder's horse.”

Not bad for a three week turnaround.

#reblogged

58K notes · View notes

shithowdy · 2 days ago

Text

honestly, while i still personally find them excessive and bordering on self-sabotage, i think i understand why young (mostly neurodivergent) people online are so drawn to writing lengthy DNIs or other criteria for interaction. my "livejournal icon ecosystem" post was a slight jab at this phenomenon, but i think it goes a little deeper than just the ability to have a healthy/easy way to indicate your mood, mindset, or intent when making a post. i think it's also about the communities themselves, and the fact that before the era of social media, "the internet" consisted of millions of micro-communities where anywhere from a dozen to a few hundred people would anonymously gather to discuss nothing but topics of interest to them under the moderation of fellow forum users. it was SO easy to "curate your experience" online before social media. you could just join a handful of sites about your specific interests with like 50 active people, stick to the on-topic subforums so you would be oblivious to users' other posts, and that was that. maybe you'd have to block someone from time to time.

now? those same 50 people are scattered across social media, and just like everyone else, they're posting about mixed subjects. now you know their family problems, their economic class, their politics, their disabilities, their privileges, their addictions, their other hobbies/fandoms, their spiritual beliefs, their horny thoughts, and all of this other shit that you aren't interested in seeing or maybe outright upset by. if you don't have the strongest ability to navigate social hardships, reactionary lists of all the things that upset you probably does feel like a strong first measure against potential unwanted interaction. but "potential" is the emphasis; otherwise agreeable people are repelled because they saw their secondary fandom listed alongside "transphobia" as a reason to not interact, trolls are emboldened with ammunition against you, and the people who actually make the cut are left walking on eggshells. you are functionally reducing people online to how effective of a source of entertainment they are for you. "do you meet these narrow criteria? good, then you may proceed to entertain me, as long as you continue to meet them."

i hate that the era of anonymous micro-communities is over, but if this is applicable to you: people are messy and complicated and on sites like this there really is no way to disentangle the person from the post. not entirely. delete that public list of triggers and ways to upset you, block behavior or fandoms you absolutely can't abide on sight, and know you don't owe an explanation for it. people are not going to stop being themselves on social media just because they are in your presence; the onus of deafening yourself to them is on you.

256 notes · View notes

atwhughesversion · 2 days ago

Text

i know the majority of contemporary hockey players all grew up privileged and most of their education was abbreviated, but it’s crazy to me how many of them refuse to see why the american anthem is being booed. no, canadians aren’t booing american players. they aren’t booing american teams. they aren’t booing american citizens. they are booing the united states as an entity, more specifically what the people in power over the country are choosing to do to canada.

national anthems aren’t just a nice song meant to celebrate american people; they always have and always will be inherently tied to politics and nationalism. governments and other people in power have historically weaponized nationalism and patriotism (and will continue to do so), and symbols of national pride like flags and anthems are direct conduits of that pride from government to citizen. there is no removing their political nature just because they’re being performed in the context of hockey, and to expect people to ignore what a country’s government is trying to do to them is naive and, frankly, a little insulting.

so no, brad marchand, montreal was not booing the american players during the anthem. matthew tkachuk, i’m sorry you “didn’t like” the boos, but given that you seem to have no interest in saying anything about what the american government is doing to cause all of this, your complaints about a political song being received poorly due to current politics come off as out of touch and petulant.

as long as national anthems are performed at games, there will always be the risk of current events changing now they’re viewed, due to the fact that the crowd of people are in fact real humans who have an awareness of things besides sports.

#hockey #nhl #all these m*n and their dumbass takes are so annoying #girl it’s NOT ABOUT YOU!#go ask your president to stop being a stupid baby if your flag song is so precious to you

178 notes · View notes

essycogany · 3 days ago

Text

Sonic And Amy Are A Unique Couple

This is a quick Sonamy rant /ramble session. With a few added clarifications too. Enjoy!

This couple is more unique than you’d think. It’s cool if anyone disagrees. I'm all for a polite debate and respect your opinion. But if you're willing to hear me out, I'll be willing to explain myself as clearly as possible. Great? Awesome! Let’s get started!

Amy doesn't want to change Sonic. I will scream this until I'm not able to speak any more that Amy loves Sonic for who he is. She always has but it wasn't until IDW that she expressed it out loud. Still one of my favorite moments between them.

Does that make their relationship unique? Not really. What makes their relationship unique is what Amy loves about Sonic is kind of the reason they're not a couple yet. Sonic is an ongoing force that can’t be stopped or changed. Of course, he’ll allow someone to join him on a race, but he still keeps going. Not to say Sonic won’t stop to smell the roses (pun not intended) but he’ll do it on his own time. Amy always likes to take advantage of those moments and best of all, Sonic doesn’t mind. Even during their old chases, he’d slow down for her. Says a lot about the connection they have but there’s more

Their chemistry is…something for lack of a better term. Their back and forth is so interesting to me. Sonic does like Amy back. Notable examples here but to put it shortly, Sonic doesn’t know what he’s doing when it comes to romance. Sometimes he’s not into it and other times he’s chill. Sometimes Amy is ecstatic and other times she's bashful. I'm looking at you Sonic X.

Every time Amy’s occupied, is when Sonic wants her the most. Amy on the other hand wants Sonic to enjoy his freedom. Neither of them stops to think about how maybe they can have it both ways.

I'll also mention romance isn’t about “being tied down.” That paints romance as if it’s some kind of chain being rapt around your neck or being forced to be with the person. That is not romance. It’s keeping someone hostage. Something Amy would not do. Every time she’d joke around about marrying him Sonic didn’t take it seriously. Heroes included.

Sonic’s line in Heros: “Amy, knock it off. There's no time to play!” Dude knows Amy was messing with him. She was written to be girly, childish, adventurous, and cartoony. No, it wasn’t always executed well. Hello, Sonic Freeriders Amy! But I think this scene summons it up the best.

Important thing to mention as well is Sonic is an outspoken and honest character who rarely lies. It’s either you get the truth or you get nothing. He’s not the type to spare people’s feelings either, so if he had a problem with Amy in the past, he’d tell her directly. I do think she'd also stop if he genuinely told her to. The last thing Amy would want is to tarnish their friendship because of her actions. This loyal girl is so sweet.

Not to mention this is a popular trope in Japan too. The trope was what their relationship was based on.

Back to my original point Sonic and Amy aren’t a traditional couple. That’s a good thing. If they became canon their relationship wouldn’t change if they got together, but also they don’t need labels either. Romance isn’t or shouldn’t be a burden on you. That’s not how love works and that’s not what Sonic believes Amy to be. If that’s the case he wouldn’t be friends with her. Whether you ship Sonic with Amy, someone else, or no one, there should be no doubt Sonic values her friendship.

I’ll also add that Amy is just as up for an adventure as Sonic is. It’s why she loves him so much. They’re a power couple and love going out to travel, so there’s no staying in one place for these two.

In Sonic Adventure 2 you can tell Amy’s intuition when it comes to Sonic. Close to the end, she saw him looking a bit down and noticed his mood shifting a bit. “What’s the matter, Sonic?” “Oh, it’s nothing.” She knows him so well. I don't know what connection they run on but it’s inspiring.

These two don’t have a typical girl/boy relationship. I know some people say, “Well, why can't Sonic and Amy stay friends? Not every male and female relationship needs to be romantic.” You're 100% correct. Here are some examples.

The difference between other relationships is that Amy was created to be a Minnie to Sonic’s Mickey. Which is why these two are treated differently compared to others. Including in merch. There are more examples but I digress. The point is this specific pair is always going to have nuance even if they’re only friends. It doesn’t stop until Amy doesn’t love Sonic and even if it shouldn’t define her, it should still be a part of her. She might work without romance, but we already have other amazing female characters for that.

No one’s obligated to ship them because of this of course. Again, your opinion is still valid, and I will always stick to that point.

Last but not least is their friendship (or situationship) as a whole.

The funny thing is their friendship is what makes their romance the most compelling. The appeal to Sonic and Amy’s dynamic is how much platonic energy they have. Romance doesn’t always mean you need to be lovey-dovey. With Sonamy it’s their powerful friendship that makes the (somewhat not platonic) interactions memorable. You don’t have to choose romantic or platonic. It can be both. I wouldn't be a Sonamy fan if I didn't think their relationship was plain. I'm here because of how different they are.

And I love them to bits. Look at this panel and tell me it isn't running with situationship fuel.

Another fun detail is in recent years despite knowing Amy still loves him, Sonic hugs her back. Even the moments in Sonic X he carries her are moments he offers to. Even when it wasn't necessary.

Can’t forget about the recent asking Amy out to a dinner panel in IDW. He's never done that before. There's a familiarity between the two of them however you look at it. I LOVE them for it.

His moments of genuinely being excited to see her are not due to some development but because Sonic’s passion for Amy has noticeably increased. Why am I bringing these up? It’s because one thing that hasn’t been talked about when it comes to romance is actions. Sure, Sonic doesn't fully confess his feelings to her outwardly. But why do you have to be obvious and in people’s face when it comes to loving someone? In Japan, love is mostly shown through what you do more than what you say. That stuff can happen there but it doesn't always have to. The “Sharing an Umbrella, Amy,” line in Frontiers carries a lot more weight when you think about the implications.

Please read this post by @egalitarian-tomboy if you're interested in the implications of Sonamy in Frontiers.

The up-to-interpretation view of whatever they have together is the main reason I and so many people ship them. It’s not the fact that they are close, but the progression of their closeness. To make a long story short, the appeal of Sonamy is the fact that they don’t have to be traditionally romantic to be an interesting couple. Amy represents expressive love and Sonic represents emotional love.

Stay creative! 💜

165 notes · View notes

ladyzephroar · 9 hours ago

Text

Wait... What? There's actually people saying that there should be a dislike button on AO3? Why? What would the point be outside of dissuading fanfic authors from posting their stories or even continuing a story that they've started?

There's other issues I see with this option as well. A lot of bullying goes on within fandom with authors being catty towards one another. These authors could totally take advantage of this dislike feature to send hordes of their fans to bully and intimidate authors they feel are stealing their thunder out of fandom- and potentially off the writing sites altogether.

There have been fic I've read over the years where I just don't get on with the writing, the plot, the themes of the story (or sometimes lack thereof), and the way the canon are portrayed. If I don't like the story, then I press the back button and move on. Even if such an option existed where a dislike button was present, I would never use it because that is just so cruel.

I was part of Wattpad when they allowed down voting to happen on stories. Not sure if they still do it even though I have an account (for reading purposes, only)- but let me tell you just how detrimental that down-voting system was (still is?). It chased away so many writers because of how misused the feature was. I've heard arguments both for and against the down-voting feature. Apparently, some people viewed it as a form of criticism (Newsflash, it's not)- anybody who is too much of a coward to express their criticisms of a story in words has no business calling themselves a concritter.

And even then, criticism of a story should be worded in a way that is polite and supportive. Down-voting is just so cruel. Adding a dislike feature to sites like FFN and AO3 is cruel and I am glad to see that it has never taken hold even though I have seen arguments for it.

Anyway, this got longer than I expected... It's just, can we please stop treating writing sites like social media platforms? Can we stop making these sites which are meant to be safe spaces for everyone so toxic?

One of the many reasons for why I left Wattpad as a writer was because there is a feature that can be compared to a dislike function. It hurts authors, regardless of their skill level as a writer... and it hurts future writers who are looking at different sites to judge which platform works for them as a writer.

heard someone say archive of our own should install a "dislike" button and I thought I should say this: no, there's absolutely no need for archive of our own to install a "dislike" button.

why? because archive of our own isn't tiktok or youtube or twitter/x where users can monetize their content. archive of our own is a nonprofit site run by fans for fans, which means every content — every fanfic — you see on archive of our own was made out of pure love and passion from the artists/authors.

ao3 authors write because writing about these characters is their happiness and passion. they write for themselves, but they were generous enough to share with you their creations.

they're not "content creators" the way tiktokers or youtubers or instagram models are. they don't "make content" for views and engagements that can be monetized.

so no, you don't get to "grade their works" unless they specifically and directly ask you to.

you don't get to "say what you dislike about their works" unless they specifically and directly ask you to.

you don't get to "dislike" works that are not made specifically to please you in the first place. you're just a guest in someone's house, a house in which they let you in because they were kind, you don't get to roam around their house and say what you dislike about their furniture. you don't get to roam around their house and say you "dislike their house".

of course, you can have your opinion about the house its host invites you in. but if it's a negative one and you find yourself not liking the house, the polite things for you to do is excuse yourself and leave without telling them you dislike their house.

and just because you personally dislike the house doesn't mean the house is "ugly" either. the house you dislike could be a favorite, most luxurious place to many others.

my point is, don't be entitled by wanting the rights to voice your disapproval of things that you get to enjoy for free. don't be entitled by wanting the rights to voice your disapproval of things that were made out of love and passion — things the artists made for themselves for fun.

it makes you look like an entitled jerk with main character syndrome. the universe does not revolve around you.

now repeat after me: don't like don't read. no one forces you to continue reading a fic you don't like. quietly leave instead of being rude to authors who write for free because writing is their source of comfort.

people are so used to contents that were made because it's a trend / contents like tiktok that were made with the main purpose of reaching high engagement and making profits that they forget sometimes things can be made out of love and be made just for fun. sometimes things are supposed to just be for people to enjoy, and if some people don't enjoy them, then they can simply leave without being unnecessary unkind.

#regarding writing

13K notes · View notes

cameronsprincess · 3 hours ago

Note

Do you think you could do somwething with season 4 rafe x pogue reader. Using I need to hear you not just feel you

raaaaah yeah yeah! season 4 rafey with a pogue!reader is😣😍 alsooo “i need to hear you not just feel you” is so yummy.

CW: smut! 18+ only! drinking, reader and rafe’s first time hanging out, fem receiving oral, strong language ig?

note: yeah i used sofia in this, but simply bc she has on the island club outfit and reader is a bartender at the island club!

masterlists.

rafe cameron.

that name sent most people running the other direction on this island— especially people like you… a pogue. but rafe didn’t scare you away, no, instead he intrigued you.

people had always been slightly scared of rafe, the man had a reputation for sure, and he lived up to that reputation. it wasn’t until his dad had died though that he’d really become a force to reckon with. rafe was careless in the way he handled things, he had the entire police force in his pocket, could get away with pretty much whatever he wanted.

so why were you so interested in a man who could do you more harm than good? the answer wasn’t simple. you’d honestly loved the darkness that surrounded him, but you’d never speak that out loud, so instead you settled on the fact that he was just damn good to look at.

tall, broad shoulders, big arms, nice hands. tanned skin that paired beautifully with his ocean-blue eyes. he’d buzzed his hair in the last year, it suited him. any time you saw him, your mind buzzed with thoughts of running your hands over his buzzed head, sinking your blunt nails into his tanned and toned shoulders, roaming your hands over every inch of perfectly chiseled skin on his body. the thought of his perfectly plump and pink lips on yours sent an electrifying bout of pleasure rushing straight to your clit.

you were leaned up against the bar at the island club, your mind swirling in on all the dirty thoughts you’d had about rafe cameron as you stared at him from across the room. the man was a walking fucking heart throb, tanned skin, tight white polo— the sleeves squeezing at his biceps snugly — light khakis and designer shoes. his large, veiny hand gripped a whiskey glass, the rim of it pressed against his bottom lip.

as if he could feel your intense stare, he looked over at you. deep, bottomless pools of blue staring right back at you. your heart dropped into your throat, a shiver coasting down your spine as you held his stare. he smiled, winked and then returned to his conversation.

“hey, we need more bud lights from the back, you just gonna eye fuck rafe all night or can you go get it?” your co-worker, estelle, snipped.

you turned your attention on her, giving a small fake smile. she could be a bitch, but she’d meant well.

“yeah, sure thing i’ll go grab it. how many cases?”

she rolled her eyes, loudly smacking her gum before smiling. “two.”

you let out a slow breath, sliding past her and through the dining area. once you reached the double push doors that lead into the kitchen, your hand reaches out to step inside but a warm, rough grip landing on your wrist stops you in your tracks.

“didn’t anyone teach you it isn’t polite to stare?” rafe’s deep, smooth voice said, the sound traveling straight between your legs.

your eyes flit down to where he’s grasping your wrist, butterflies and warmth filling your tummy at the feel of his skin against yours. his touch burned your skin, warming you from the inside out. you stared at him for a short moment, a small smile tilting his lips at your lack of response.

“can you not speak?” he says lowly.

you startle from your trance, forcing your eyes on his. blue. so fucking blue you felt as if you’d drown if you stared too long.

you finally shook your wrist from his grasp, pushing open the kitchen doors, stopping halfway inside before you said, “i’m sorry… i- i don’t really have a reason for staring i just.. my apologies mr. cameron.”

sucking in a deep breath you disappear into the kitchen, rounding a corner and pulling open the walk-in coolers door. you step inside, shaking off the nerves and tension that ran through you. looking down at your wrist you swore you could still feel him, touching you, gripping your wrist so tightly you thought he wanted to burn his fingerprints into your skin.

the cold air of the large cooler did nothing to tame the fire burning throughout your entire body. you’d lived on this island your entire life, grown up here, you’d known who rafe was since you were old enough to grasp people’s names. but he’d never acknowledged your existence, not until today.

you slowly breathe in through your nose, slowly pushing it back out through your mouth. it was fine. you were fine. he’s just another man.

after collecting yourself you’d decided you’d been back here long enough, estelle was going to rip you a new one for taking so long to grab two cases of bud light, but you couldn’t find it in you to care. gripping the two cases of beer, you pushed the cooler door open with your shoulder, made your way through the kitchen and back into the dining area. with your head down, firm grip on the cases of beer, you walked straight to the bar.

a scoff sounds behind you, making you roll your eyes to yourself.

“if i would’ve known it’d take you nearly twenty minutes to grab two cases of beer, i would’ve just done it myself.” estelle snips, jerking the two cases from your hands and making her way to the other end of the bar.

you let out a defeated sigh, bracing your hands on the bar and letting your head hang. there was only three hours left in your shift. you’d be fine, you could do this.

but when you lifted your head, looking back in the direction of where rafe stood, your heart nearly stopped in your chest when you found he was already looking right at you.

—

“thank you mr. jennings, i’ll be sure to bring you some apple pie next time i make it,” you smile at the older gentleman as he finishes his drink, setting the glass down and wishing you a good night. “good night, sir. get home safely.”

once the older man disappears out the front doors you let out a long sigh. you were exhausted. he was the last guest in for the night, and you were ready to close the bar down and go home.

your boss locks the doors, nothing but the sounds of kitchen workers moving about to close the kitchen and a faint beat of the music playing through the club’s speakers filled the air.

you make quick work of wiping everything down, organizing the liquor bottles— most expensive up top, mid priced in the middle and cheap liquor down low — and setting the last bit of glasses into the bars dishwasher. once you finish, you wipe your hands on a worn white sani-rag, printing out your end of the night report and grab your stuff before heading into the back to collect your money for the night.

it doesn’t take long to get settled with josh, exiting his office and clocking out before you’re stepping out into the back parking lot. the humid, salty air hits your skin and you suck in a welcome breath, not realizing you’d been desperate for fresh air until now.

“can we talk about that staring problem of yours now?”

your body tenses at the low, raspy voice. you slowly turn toward the parking spaces, finding rafe cameron leaned against his truck, arms crossed over his chest.

“i.. why are you back here? members park out front, you know?”

rafe laughs, pushing off his truck and tucking his hands in his pockets. “yeah, well, i knew you’d be back here.”

your heart skips a beat, the humid air feeling thicker all of a sudden, making it hard to breathe. you pull your hair out of the messy bun you’d put it in while closing the bar, letting your unruly strands fall down your back. rafe’s eyes tracked the movements, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth.

“still can’t speak? it’s not polite to ignore. we really need to work on your manners. staring, not responding when spoken to…”

he slowly begins walking toward you, your heart pounding wildly in your chest with every step he took. it isn’t until he’s standing directly in front of you that you snap out of the trance you’d been in, taking one slow step back.

rafe smirks, a small and subtle smirk but it’s there nonetheless.

“are you scared of me?” he says lowly, taking one step forward, closing the distance again.

“no.” you breathed out, swallowing thickly and staring up into his eyes.

he reaches out a hand, running his ringed fingers down your cheek. you shudder, your eyes fluttering shut. rafe’s hand drops back down to his side, “you going home for the night?”

you blink rapidly, trying to clear the lust filled fog that’s clouded your mind. “y-yeah. i’m going home.”

he chuckles. “come to my house, we can hang out.”

what? did rafe cameron just invite you to come hang out at tannyhill? the part of you that was infatuated with him was jumping for joy, you’d always wondered what it’d be like to hang out with rafe cameron. but the logical part of you was questioning why he wanted to hang out with you.

“w-why?” you asked hesitantly.

rafe’s fingers grab at a piece of your hair, twirling it around in his fingers before dropping it. “could be fun. come on, don’t tell me you’re scared of fun?”

your breath hitches in your throat. you’re not sure why he’s being so persistent, but you don’t want him to think you’re just like everyone else on this island, terrified of him. with a bright smile, you reply, “of course not. let’s go, could be fun, right?”

rafe grins, the sides of his eyes crinkling from how big his smile was. “right. let’s go.”

he grabs your hand, pulling you the few steps back toward his truck and opening the passenger door for you. once you’re inside and buckled, he closes it, and you take the few seconds it takes him to round the truck and get in to soak in your surroundings.

it smells like him. expensive cologne and a hint of cigarette smoke. the smell is oddly intoxicating. you breathe in deeply through your nose, letting it out slowly as your eyes take in the expensive leather interior, running your finger across the dash. not a speck of dust in sight, not surprising for a man like rafe cameron.

rafe climbs into his truck, his fingers tightly wrapped around the steering wheel as he stares over at you. you force yourself to meet his gaze, chuckling nervously. “what?”

he breathes out a laugh, shaking his head and running his hands down the sides of the steering wheel, placing his key in the ignition and bringing the trucks engine to life. “nothing.”

the drive to tannyhill isn’t long, maybe ten minutes tops, but the silence that filled the air between the two of you was so thick, filled with something you couldn’t quite discern. rafe stops outside the tall, metal gates, rolling his window down and typing a code into the small security code box. the gates roll open slowly, and rafe pulls up the long driveway, stopping his truck at the front door.

he kills the engine, casting you a quick glance before he’s opening his door. “you coming?” he asks.

you swallow around the nerves you’re feeling, nodding your head and opening your own door. you follow rafe silently up the steps to the front porch, stopping behind him while he makes quick work of unlocking and opening the door.

he steps inside, tossing his keys onto a table beside the door before walking toward the kitchen, leaving you to shut the door and stand awkwardly in the entryway. he pops his head around a corner seconds later, “you gonna stand there all night, or do you want a drink?”

oh. well, you should’ve known he wanted you to follow him, that was your mistake. you were just so nervous, you couldn’t think straight.

you made your way into the kitchen, finding rafe standing at the large marble island that sat in the middle of the spacious room. he smiles when his eyes find yours. “stop being so nervous, ahhh.. sorry, what was your name again?”

you smile, telling him your name before shifting the conversation to his house. “this place is nice, did you get it when your dad-” you stopped yourself, noticing the tension in his shoulders before he quickly shook it off, turning to grab two glasses out of the cupboard. he places them gently on the island, grabbing an expensive bottle of whiskey from another cupboard and pouring one of the glasses full. “whiskey?” he asks, his eyebrows rose as he watched you.

“no thank you, i’ll just have water.”

he laughs at that. “if you insist.”

he opens the fridge, pouring water into your cup from one of those fancy filtered water pitchers before placing it back in its spot and handing you the glass. he grabs his own glass, bringing it to his lips and studying your features.

he lets out a breath, sipping from his glass before setting it down and leaning back against the counter. “so, how long have you lived here, sweetheart?”

you choke on your sip of water, the pet name catching you completely off guard. you lift your head to find an amused rafe staring back at you, the corners of his lips slightly lifted in a smirk. “shit, sorry,” you apologize.

he laughs, a deep, true laugh before pushing off the counter and grabbing you some paper towels. he lets you wipe your face before he’s cleaning off the counter top and tossing the paper towels into the trash. he makes his way back toward you, his eyes dragging slowly from your feet all the way up to the top of your head. he bites at his bottom lip, “you never answered me, how long have you lived on kildare?”

you crane your neck to look up into his eyes. “my whole life.. so twenty-three years.”

he reaches out to push some hair behind your ear, his fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. “so you’re only two years younger than me.. and you work at the club, so you’re not from figure eight… pogue i’m assuming?”

you swallow around the knot in your throat, sucking your bottom lip between your teeth as you nod. you can’t help the gasp that escapes you when rafe reaches out and pulls your bottom lip from between your teeth, his thumb pressing firmly against it before he’s pulling away.

“you’re very pretty, it’s a shame i didn’t know you existed until now.”

his words stung more than they should’ve. you knew he didn’t know you existed, it was painfully obvious in the way he never recognized your pining for him since you were old enough to understand what it meant to have feelings for a boy. he was kook prince. high up on the food chain. and you were just… you. but hearing him say it out loud was like a slap to the face.

rafe’s warm hand cupping your cheek snaps you out of your pity party, his words caressing you. “stop thinking so much. i was a piece of shit back then, you know it. i know it. this entire goddamn island knows it.”

you knit your brows in confusion. “you’re not a piece of shit, rafe. you went through a lot.”

he gives a dry laugh. “that’s the understatement of the century.”

he turns to grab his glass, downing it in one go before he’s facing you again. your heart thumps wildly in your chest, and the air is so thick with sexual tension you could cut it with a knife. rafe’s eyes flit from yours and down to your lips, his thoughts written all over his face. he wanted to kiss you.

you swipe your tongue across your bottom lip, watching as rafe tracks the movement with his eyes. he groans, the sound deep and causing your panties to grow wet with arousal. when rafe’s eyes meet yours again they’re dark with lust, the tension in the room now suffocating you.

“rafe.. what do you-”

your words die on your tongue when rafe grips the back of your neck harshly, pulling your face into his and smashing his lips with yours. your hands grip at his arms, fingernails digging into his skin, leaving behind crescent shaped moons in his smooth skin. rafe groans into your mouth, his hands running down your sides and gripping your thighs. his rough palms squeeze at your bare thighs, lifting you up and placing you on the counter.

you moan when rafe’s lips trail from your lips to your neck, working down to your jaw and chest. his teeth nip at your jawline, pulling a small whimper from you. he soothes where he’d bitten with his tongue, the wet and warm muscle against your skin causing goosebumps to sprout on your arms.

“take this off.” rafe groans, his fingers tugging at your island club polo that’s tucked into your baby blue skirt.

you quickly comply, pulling the polo out from where its tucked into your skirt and over your head. your eyes land on rafe’s both of your chests heaving with heavy breaths as you sit shirtless in front of the man you’d only ever dreamed about.

rafe’s fingers brush up the length of your bare stomach, stopping once they reach the under wire of your bra. he flattens his hand, running it up and over the fabric of your lace bra, cupping one of your tits in his hand and squeezing at it softly. your hands fly behind you, palms flat against the countertop while you throw your head back. rafe switches to the other breast, giving it equal attention, pinching a nipple between his fingers and pulling before releasing.

the loss of rafe’s touch has your head lifting, finding him standing in front of you, breathless and unsure of what to do next. you reach your hand out, tugging at his white polo, silently begging him to take it off.

rafe pulls off the shirt, tossing it to the floor with yours before his eyes are on you again. “you sure about this? we don’t even know each other… we don’t have-”

you shush him, running your hands up his toned stomach before wrapping your arms around his neck. you pull him forward, placing a soft kiss against his lips. “shhh.. don’t ruin it, rafe. don’t think about it. just do it. whatever you want.”

rafe’s eyes darken at your words. you’d just told him he could do whatever he wanted with you. he kisses you again, soft and slow while his fingers made quick work unclasping your bra, letting it fall in your lap. next he’s working your skirt off you, breaking his lips from yours to take in the lacey white thong you wore. he smirked when he saw the small wet patch in your panties.

“someone’s needy.” he jokes, pushing his fingers into the waistband and sliding the panties down your thighs. you lift your ass off the counter to help him remove your thong, watching him intently as he tosses it to the floor.

your lips slightly part, opening them to speak but a squeal comes out in their place when rafe grips your thighs and pulls your ass toward the edge of the counter. “lay back f’me, spread your legs.”

you do as he says, laying back against the counter, your feet flat on the edge as you spread your legs wide for him. a low growl rumbles out of rafe when his eyes land on your swollen, dripping pussy.

“god you’re so wet,” he rasps, dropping into a squatted position, his face pressing between your legs and inhaling your scent. “smell so fuckin’ sweet… bet you taste sweet too.”

a moan escapes you when rafe’s lips begin kissing at your inner thighs, working their way toward your clit. he softly kisses your sensitive bundle of nerves, your hips bucking up. rafe chuckles, placing one hand on your hip and pushing you back down while his other hand had a firm grip on your thigh, keeping you spread open for him.

he licks a hot stripe through your slick folds up to your clit, giving it a slight flick of his tongue. your head rolls to the side on the counter, hands flying to his buzzed head. you run your hands over his head, relishing in the feel of his buzzcut beneath your palms, moans and whimpers escaping you as rafe works your pussy with his mouth and tongue. he sucks your clit into his mouth, releasing your thigh and pressing his middle finger inside you.

he mumbles something unintelligible against your pussy, the vibrations making your inner walls flutter around his finger. rafe slowly works his finger in and out of you, slipping another inside when your thighs tense against the counter. he sucks and flicks at your clit, his fingers pushing in and out of you at a fast pace. you’re so close to coming, you can feel it in the way your body was tensing and your pussy was pulsing.

rafe releases your clit with a pop, his darkened over eyes finding yours as he continued to work you with his fingers. “i need to hear you, baby. not just feel you. let me hear how good you feel.”

your hands fall, a loud thwack resounding in the air from how hard you’d smacked the countertop. you scream out rafe’s name, your legs shaking as rafe goes back to sucking and licking at your clit, his thick fingers never slowing their movements.

“oh god… rafe! please? please fuck… feels so good.” you moan, your fingers digging into his neck again.

you feel rafe smile against your pussy, his tongue giving slow licks to your clit before he’s sucking it into his mouth again. your orgasm rushes through your seconds later, thighs shaking uncontrollably as you grip rafe’s neck, trying to keep yourself grounded.

rafe’s tongue and fingers work you through the high, never stopping until your body goes limp on the counter. he removes his face from between your legs, standing to his full height and smiling down at you.

“yeah… you’re so fuckin’ sweet.” rafe rasps, popping the button of his khakis before pulling down the zipper and sliding them down his legs. once he removes his boxers, your eyes widen at the sight of his long and thick cock.

rafe smirks, stroking himself slowly as he says, “don’t worry baby, it’s gonna feel so good. just lay back and let me take care of you.”

tagging some moots: @quinnsbabygirl @rafesthroatbaby @nemesyaaa @rafescvntyclubgf @rafesheaven @rafesbabygirlx @maybejj @cherryobx @memoirofasparklemuff1n @kiiyomei @dementedkittenribbon @hauntedfawnn

#*ೃ༄ my works #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x pogue!reader #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron imagine #obx rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe smut #rafe x pogue!reader #rafe x reader

93 notes · View notes

kerryshifting · 1 day ago

Note

i read your pinned post and why do you want to live forever? like be immortal

we think we have many desires .. but in fact we have only one. to live, forever.

IT’S IMMORTALITY … MY DARLINGS.

why is such thing as immortality, who was always represented in media as a curse who will break your soul into pieces century after century, a thing that shifters like me decide to engage in? this is my personal experience. so. it's very personal. may have sensitive topics.

you know when you are a young child and you find out that the sun will die in some billion years? i spend the whole day sobbing when my older cousin told me. i was four, and that was my first introduction to death. since that day i discovered that everything seemed to lead there: no matter what you do in life, how old or young you are, if you deserve it or not. i was always told that i have one life, and my non–religious family said that there's nothing after. that's it. no other opportunities.

since then i had a very love and hate relationship with death. hated when it took something from me, loved in the hope that would take me. everytime my life started to get dark, it was my first thought. listening to born to die by lana del rey on repeat became part of my routine.

and then. boom. THE canon event. shifting.

i fell on my knees. i was desperate. i wanted other chances. i wanted other lives. my higher self thought it was a good idea to give me this knowledge. i was fourteen, my mom was my enemy, lana del rey my saviour, and all of my friendships were girls, so confusing by charli xcx before girls, so confusing (fourteen years old me would have eat that up). so, i decided to believe it immediately. no questions asked. but, of course, i was a teenage girl. shit happens. and the italian school system it's worse than an asylum. and then shit actually happened!!! the type of things that makes you laugh hysterically before sobbing on the carpet. i was sixteen and suddenly i didn't want other lives, and neither the one i had. i totally forgot about shifting… and then i reached the rock bottom. like. really bad. it was a continue cycle of sadness and apathy and then, almost two years later, anger. ooooooooooh boy i was mad.

i never understood the people around me calling me rebellious – like. girl. where? until i discovered shifting again. septermber 2024. what a time to be alive! but first: that summer really did something to me. going in my home country, connecting with the place where my ancestors walked, breathed and lived really was a slap in the face. that summer i actually picked up a book after years of caring about nothing, and i was still the curious child that would go in historical websites to research about things. watched documentary after documentary. i read poetry. scientific shits that i never actually understood. politics. an hatred for all the people who said to me that "you only have one life" hit me so hard. i was furious because i spent years of my 'only' life sobbing in my bed. SEPTEMBER 2024. shifting!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!! i totally forgot about that!!!!!!!!!! instead of tiktok i used tumblr, and i got slapped in the face numerous times again. it's so different from what i thought. better. amazing. the answer to my questions.

so, all this to say what? immortality. basically: rebellion. revenge. out of spite. my last and long lasting sarcastic laugh. i want culture. now i care about things around me. i care about myself. i care about my soul, all the possible versions of me. the world. other people. i want to be young and old again. and again. i healed. i am not mad, i am excited. i have a journey. emotions that i can't wait to experience. a big middle finger to death who consumed my first eighteen years of life. this feels very dramatic but hey!!! i watch too many movies so that's probably why.

#anon ask #reality shifting #shiftblr #shifting blog #shifting #shifting community #shifting antis dni #shifting consciousness #shifting motivation #shifting diary #shiftingrealities #reality shifter #shiftinconsciousness #shifting realities #shifters #shifting script #shift #shifting to desired reality #reality scripting

93 notes · View notes

everythingismadeofchaos · 1 day ago

Text

Yeah, my position on actors and global issues like politics has changed over the years: no, their opinion isn't worth more because they're actors, but they still are entitled to have an opinion, and I like to hear opinions from people. What have you got? Give me a new or interesting take. Show me your reasoning. If you're good at communicating with people, like you're a professional actor who's studied how to do that well, all the better.

But the fact that they're an actor isn't worth anything to the opinion. The two facts have nothing to do with each other, except in a very standard way that the amount of money you have and what you do for a living affects your ideas. Being a successful actor is no more or less relevant to political opinions than being an unsuccessful air conditioner technician. Just tell me what you believe and why so we can have a conversation and maybe learn something

Yall sleeping on this Sam L. Jackson interview about trump lmfao.

148K notes · View notes

writingsfromhome · 2 days ago

Text

Unspoken Signals

A/N: reaaaallly tried to get this out for v-day. It’s been a while, I’m a bit rusty, but this is a quick fic w Harry and you as coworkers and a casual something else. Hope you enjoy 🫶🏼

—————————————————————-

“Well this is different,” I comment.

Before me sits a dozen children and they’re all very quiet. It’s music to my ears after the last hour.

“I didn’t know kids could even do yoga.”

“You didn’t know kids could stretch?” I raise a brow.

“The meditating part,” Harry clarifies. “I didn’t know they could quiet their minds and their demon mouths.”

I laugh softly and turn back to the kids. A couple are starting to get restless, peeking one eye open or scratching their noses—picking them more like. But it’s nice for the few minutes.

Both Harry and I worked at an art museum that had recently lost some of its funding and had decided to open up revenue streams by introducing “kids fun weekends”. So despite having zero training in early education, staff at the museum found ourselves having to look after children and host workshops from time to time.

So far we’d been volun-told to help with a crafts day, a movie night, wellness day, and an upcoming museum sleepover.

And I was so not being paid enough to deal with hyperactive children.

“Why do kids even need a wellness workshop?” Harry continues to whisper back to me. “They’ve got stressful jobs or something? Bloody put me on one and let me go home.”

“Anyone can experience stress Har,” I roll my eyes. Harry was one of those people who didn’t care about being politically correct when he spoke. Which led to a lot of bickering between us that most of our coworkers had gotten used to.

“The stress of any of these kids does not bloody compare to the stress of an adult.”

“Don’t be such an ageist,” I reply.

“Ageist? What the fuck,” he swears. “Do you just put a word in front of -ist and create a new prejudice?”

I gasp and hold his shoulder, “prejudice? Where did you learn such a large word?”

“Now you’re just being a word-ist,” Harry says smugly.

I snort despite myself, “And you’ve always been a prick.”

“Piss off,” Harry whispers. “This is unfair.”

We stand in silence, forced to do our job of keeping watch over the kids. But as they grow more agitated and so does Harry, I realize I really didn’t want to be here either.

“Well have you seen the new fake-Monet collection?” I ask.

It wasn’t actually fake-Monet. It was a local artist we were hosting in our community gallery that showcased…local artists. The first piece we ever saw hung up looked like a Monet so we took to calling him that.

“No. Not after that first forgery.”

“Wanna ditch this and check it out?”

“Fuck yes.” Harry’s eyes finally draw some life to them.

We leave our two other coworkers to deal with freshly-meditated children and sneak away.

The art museum wasn’t a large building; the ground floor was taken up by the open lobby, offices, the gift shop, and some of the more permanent exhibits. The second floor had revolving galleries and the community gallery sat on the third floor.

“D’you think anyone’s actually going to buy the guy’s fakes?” Harry asks.

“Probably,” I jam the button for the lift. “I saw a couple more pieces and they were beautiful.”

“You find any piece of art beautiful.”

“Well they are! It’s easy to find beauty in a lot of things if you’re not a prick.”

The lift arrives and the doors open; the reflection inside show a tall curly-haired annoyed bloke. Walking in with him is a shorter girl, rolling her eyes.

“I’m not a prick.” He looks down at me. “I just have standards.”

Suddenly in the enclosed space of the lift we’re gravitating towards each other like we tended to do. I smile up at him sweetly and he tsks and pushes me away by my chin; a conversation taking place with just our eyes.

The thing with Harry and me—because it was just a thing we didn’t label, was simple: we liked being around each other (despite being able to get on each other’s nerves).

We kinda just orbited each other and we were comfortable with it; some days he would follow me home and we’d hang out, get dinner, sleep together, and other nights I’d show up at his and we’d fold right into one another.

It was fun, and it felt cool not to label it. It felt very adult, like Harry and I were mature enough to appreciate the other in every aspect without being possessive enough to need to label it. Like somehow we were proving just how secure we were by doing it like this.

“You just like being judgemental,” I say and as the doors open onto the third floor I turn to walk out. “Because you’re an idiot.”

Outside stand at older couple who’ve definitely heard the last bit. I apologize and pray they don’t complain to anyone about the staff.

“Very unprofessional,” Harry goads as he laughs. “Do you harass all the elderly at the museum.”

“Shut up!” I shove him against the wall and he stumbles down.

“Oi!” He calls out as I walk away. “Oi! Help me up!”

“Help yourself!” I finally turn. He’s sprawled on the ground like this was his bedroom—because I’d seen the inside of his bedroom I would know. But he stays for so long I hurry back, not wanting anyone to walk past and get us in trouble for laying in the middle of the hall.

“I knew you’d come,” he smiles sweetly, his large hand in the air ready for me to grip.

“C’mon—“

I see it coming too late and he’s already trapped me in. He pulls me forward and I stumble into him, nearly catching myself on the wall. Nearly. I tumble into him instead.

“Grow up!” I scramble off of him as quick as I could. Because the one unspoken rule in this thing between us was staying nothing but platonic coworkers at work.

And that was the other thing about us—this unlabelled situation we were in. That as casual as we appeared there was a lot of orchestrating going on behind the scenes in order to be this nonchalant.

For example, only touching outside of work, not asking about dates the other went out on the weekend before, like saying you’re funny and where’ve you been when it’s been a while so as not to say I really like you and I want to be around you more and when you’re not around I miss you more than an unlabelled half should. Like getting drunk when I spot him at a club with another girl so I can continue to convince myself I really didn’t care all that much.

It was just Harry. At most we were just friends.

“This is me grown up,” Harry catches up to me. He can sense I’m annoyed and maybe he’s crossed a line so he lingers slightly behind.

I ignore him as I push the glass door into the gallery. This was one of my favourite spaces because of the large windows and views of the garden below planted by friends of the museum.

But mostly I loved it because it was a revolving door of local artists and it reminded me that everyone had a story to tell. And every story was beautiful.

“Don’t cry this time,” Harry whispers to me as he walks down the gallery to the far end.

“It was one time,” I mumble. That I actually cried. Usually I just teared up.

I couldn’t help it though, there was so much meaning and time put into these pieces. So much love and grief and every emotions on the spectrum. And I felt it all.

I decide I’d stop calling the artist fake-Monet because with a few more paintings I began to recognize his own signature style. He paints about personal community and finding it in public spaces—pockets around London.

“Hey look at this one,” Harry says when I’m a few pieces away. I walk over.

It’s unmistakably Hampstead Heath, the park a half hour walk from here and 15 from Harry’s place. It’s where we spent a lazy summer day a month or so ago. We were both free on the Saturday, our calendars opening up. I met Harry at his and we’d trekked through the hazy city to feel the cool breeze of the sturdy trees and the splash of the water. Despite the stickiness, we’d tucked into each other and pretended the shade was enough to keep us cool—enough to be so close. We read our book, took a summer nap, ate our picnic, and chatted about the rest of our lives. Passerbys would see two friends, or maybe two something-mores.

It’s only when the sun slinked down towards the horizon did we pack up. We walked back to his flat, took a shower together. We had dinner with his friends. It had been such a beautiful day I had ached with it because I knew how temporary it was.

But how perfect it had been. It had felt bigger than us.

Harry pointing it out toes that line again; he remembered it too, as something to reference. As something to compare to the beautiful richness of the tapestry before us—lavenders and lilacs, pinks and blues, sage, and dusty hues.

“Beautiful,” I murmur. We’re standing shoulder to shoulder now, I can’t tell who’s leaning on who.

“It…actually is.” Harry says in a hushed voice back. “I’m sorry fake-Monet that I doubted you.”

I look up at him in surprise, Harry rarely changed his mind. “Actually?”

“Yeah.” He looks down at me. “I think I get it.”

The expression in his eyes as he says this, as they fill with meaning, I have to look away. But the painting doesn’t help. It’s too full of my own meaning. Our meaning.

But there was no our.

“Wow.” I straighten up and move closer. “Look at that blending. And the details those are actually people.”

“They’ve all got their own shadow too.” Harry moves closer towards me again. He points it out.

“I’m gonna go look for shadows in the others.” I chirp just so I can get away. So I can keep denying.

A few hours later, the day is giving to nightfall. I badge out with Harry and we walk down the steps towards the iron gates.

“See you tomorrow?” I ask.

“I’m not in tomorrow.” He reminds me.

“Oh yeah your parents are in town?”

“Yep,” he fidgets with his phone and we stand in silence for a beat.

“Well I should-“ I say just as he asks, “Would you want to-“

We pause, awkward laugh. We were never awkward.

“You first,” I urge, wanting to know what he was going to ask.

“No it’s nothing. I should go. Got to clean my flat before my parents see how I live.”

“Don’t forget to hide the rolling papers from your bedside,” I tease. “And the magazines under the bed.”

“Oi I haven’t got magazines under the bed,” he smiles. His dimples make a handsome appearance. “They’re loud and proud on the coffee table now.”

“Except you haven’t got a coffee table.”

“If you know so much about my flat how about you come home with me and help me clean it? You can stay over.”

Come home with me. Casual, so casual.

But I know how calculated it had to be. I’d been there. Somehow I knew this is what he’d been trying to ask in the first place.

“What time are your parents getting in?” I ask.

“They’re early birds. Probably after 8.”

“8? Holy hell.” I swear.

“They want to do breakfast and then take me to visit my grandparents.”

“Right. Yeah well, imagine I’m still not out by the time they show up. That’d be so awkward. And there’s no way in hell I’m getting up before 8.”

His cheeks take on a slight blush. “They’ve…it wouldn’t be the first time they came over to a girl in my bed YN. I’m not 16.”

“I know. But…still awkward.”

“So?”

“I…don’t want them to get the wrong idea. We’ll see each other the day after. You’re working then right?”

My heart squeezes a bit at his crushed look before it’s swapped for happy, for easygoing. “Yep. Can’t get rid of me that quick.”

We part ways, I go mine with a heavy heart.

***

“So,” I check in with Harry at lunch the day he’s back. It had been a hectic day yesterday with a new group of kids and a new workshop to facilitate. Plus someone was quitting after being yelled at and Harry had missed it all so I wanted to update him. “How was your day off.”

“Shite,” he says. We walk a few streets over to a Pret. “Mum and dad wouldn’t stop whinging about my future and about settling down like I’m a fucking balding man in my 50s losing all prospects. I’m only 25!”

“Yeah total bummer having a day off for that,” I comment even though I have a hard time getting my next breath in. I can’t imagine my own parents caring that much about my life to spend a whole day with me talking about it. And what if I had stayed the night and accidentally bumped into them—would they have approved?

Should I even care?

“Then my nan basically told them to piss off but they started filling her head with it and then she’s asking me about any girls I’ve taken on dates lately. Started giving me relationship advice!”

“What was that?” I tease. “Take her on a walk and buy her some flowers? Go star gazing? Movie for 2 quid?”

Harry glances at me and his seriousness throws me off balance a little.

“What?”

He opens his mouth, then shrugs and closes it. “Nothing.”

“Sorry did I offend you?” I try to think of why he might be reacting this way.

“No, she actually did say some pretty old-fashioned shite. But I can take it from her. It’s my parents that drive me nuts.”

“Well I wish you were at work. Want to hear what happened?”

So I change the subject and we talk about what he missed. He’s more subdued today and I don’t read into it. He wasn’t mine to read into, I have to remind myself.

We talk about the gallery sleepover in two weeks, whether we were actually going to come in our PJs. When we get back to work we’re on different floors and I try not to miss him again.

***

“I actually brought mine—the appropriate pair.” My coworker jokes. We’re in the staff kitchen making an afternoon tea. Tonight was the gallery sleepover and I was not looking forward to it. But because I was working it I had the day off tomorrow and at least that was something to look forward to.

“I just brought a ratty tee. I don’t think I’m sleeping anyway.” I say.

“I hate that we got picked for this,” she continues. “I actually don’t even like kids. Why do you think I have none?”

“Well tonight will just be birth-control.”

“Trust me I don’t need it.” She cackles and walks away. My phone buzzes with a text.

Harry: Might be late tonight. cover for me if anyone asks?

Y: ur not even working the day how are u gonna be late?

Harry: got a thing. Just cover pls?

Y: obv

I wonder what was going on with him.

We hadn’t had a lot of opportunities to hang out the last week and work had been too busy to properly catch up. Plus our manager had been putting us on conflicting projects so I really had been missing Harry.

Even though Harry and I were friends there was something about distance and fondness that was proving true lately. And I hated it. So I’d gone on a string of dates this week. Hence my busyness.

I’d gone out on a date a week ago and even though I ended up going back to his place all I wanted to do was text Harry. Ask him if he was up, what he was doing. I’d forced myself to shut my phone so I wouldn’t be tempted.

After we close the doors to the public that evening we begin setting up for the kids’ sleepover. It’s so hectic nobody notices Harry’s late but he slides right in helping me string the lights in our biggest gallery. We work on the projectors next, I yap to him for 10 minutes straight and he barely replies. He’d been quiet since he got here.

And for the next few hours Harry and I entertain and help children have fun, we put on a fancy puppet show loosely based on famous artists—art projections included.

We sneak away to the kitchen after we take our bow for a tea break.

“Wouldn’t happen to have a flask on ya?” Harry sighs as he strains his tea bag.

“God I wish,” I stare into the dark abyss of my earl gray. That performance had really taken it out of me. “Who d’you think’s most likely to have something stashed away?”

“Well,” Harry yawns like he hadn’t slept all week and points to an upper cabinet. “Behind the cleaning stuff.”

“What?!” I gasp. “Seriously?”

“Well last time I saw it was last Christmas. Probably got some alcoholics here. I dunno if the stash is still there.”

“Well this is naughty,” I find a couple travel-sized liquor bottles like the kind you get on planes. I take one so that somebody else can have the delight of the other.

Harry sticks his mug out and I empty half the bottle, doing the same to mine.

“Make sure it’s covered,” he advises when I throw it in the bin. I shake it around until I can’t see it.

“Much better,” I cheers my mug to his. He catches my eye and it feels like we’re co-conspirators again. I pass a smile that’s only half-returned. “So what’s the deal with you?”

“Hm?” He doesn’t look up from his drink.

“I’ve barely seen you all week. And you’re late tonight. And you look haggard as hell.”

He shrugs, “I’ve been helping one of my mates out with moving out of his girlfriend’s. They broke up. He’s a mess so…”

“Oh.” I wasn’t expecting that. “That’s kind of you.”

“You sound surprised.”

“Do I?” I widen my eyes.

“Piss off.”

He cracks with a smile—a full Harry smile and I feel my heart beaming just to soak it in.

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” I ask tentatively. I knew he had the day off too.

“Uhm,” cagey Harry returns. “Maybe. I’m not too sure right now.”

“Ah okay.”

We sip in silence that threatens to smother us. I get up as quickly as I can without wasting my precious drink.

“I’m gonna head back out.”

“Alright.”

I head back to the star-lit room where sleeping bags are laid out like mismatched brick throughout the floor. Some kids are cozied within, others sit on top. They’re all engrossed in the “bedtime story” being told by a local author.

It’s sweet, I think. This would become a core memory for a lot of these kids, drinking in the whole night through all their senses. I wish I had more memories like this. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so fragile all the time.

Adults staying overnight got their own gallery blankets and I drag one over to the far end, enough for any kid who needed assistance could find me but far away that I could be on my phone and not distract them.

Some time later another body joins me with his own blanket.

“Sorry,” Harry says as he sits.

“For what?” I play pretend. Just like these kids were doing tonight. What could you possibly be saying sorry for? What could I possibly feel entitled to you for? We’re just friends.

“For being weird earlier. I…well I have to tell you something and I’m being weird instead.”

My heart begins to thump in my chest.

“Tell me what?”

“So I’ve um…I’ve got a-“ Harry clears his throat. I glance up at him and he’s looking out towards the ceiling. “I have a girlfriend. I know we…we’re not…”

“Jeez Har,” even though ever atom inside of me is keeling over with something I can’t exactly examine yet, I play the joker. The friend. “If this is you telling me you’re getting serious with someone that’s all you have to say.”

“Really?” He turns to me and on the shiny hardwood floor so does half his body. I ignore how his knees feel pressing into mine. “You’re…okay?”

His voice is anything but casual.

“Yeah! It’s not like we’re a thing.”

Even still, I can’t say it. I die a little more.

“Yeah well I wasn’t expecting it. She’s the daughter of someone my dad knows? Pretty sure they orchestrated it but we went on a couple dates and then she asked…well she wanted to be exclusive I…”

“Well that’s good. For you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep.”

“Thank god,” the air whooshes out of his lungs.

“I feel like I should be offended. You thought I was going to be mad or something?”

“No not mad…” he trails off. I look at his reaction and find him looking at me already. Even though it’s dark I can still see his eyes and they feel like they’re reading everything on my face. In a hushed tone he repeats himself, “not mad.”

I shrug, biting my lip hard to feel something other than the emotions threatening to overwhelm me. Emotions I never thought would surface this strongly.

“I’m good. Actually I’m not good. I think that bottle we found was rubbish I’ve got to go toilet—“ I use his knee to pull myself up. “Save my spot.”

I walk away without sparing a glance back because my act is crumbling. I’m crumbling. And I don’t understand it.

If you asked me two weeks ago I would have gone on how fun it was to be with Harry but how the idea of being with him seriously would be weird. Would throw off our balance. But now I want to puke my guts in the toilet at the idea of having to let him go. Because he’s the one who moved on.

And as hard as I try tears still escape my lashline and make trails down my cheeks as I study myself in the brightly lit mirror. How could I be mad when we were just casual? How could I hate him if all he did was look for something serious. Someone serious.

Suddenly what had felt fun and mature feels childish and disposable.

I was disposable fun.

“Get it the fuck together,” I tell myself. “You’ve got nothing to cry over. You could get yourself a boyfriend too. He’s not your soulmate or something jeez.”

I blow my nose and give myself another pep talk before exiting the toilets back to where Harry waits for me.

“You alright?” He asks. A loaded question.

“Yeah. Regret doing this for the whole night though.”

“You could sleep. I’ll take first shift.”

“I’ll get in trouble.”

“Who gives a shit,” Harry tugs me so that I fall against his shoulder and it’s the worst thing in the world.

I don’t curl my arm through his like I might’ve before. Or cozy into his chest. I stay there like a stiff robot until sleep takes me. Even then it’s not long enough.

—1 month later—

I’m heading home after an uneventful day, ready to sink into bed and turn my brain off. These days my brain talked too much and I really wish there was an on/off switch for it.

“Um hiya?” A soft voice says as I exit the turnstile in the lobby. I turn towards the voice and it belongs to a sweet looking girl about my age with harsh features softened by a layered bob. On me it would look ridiculous but she looks like she was born to rock the style she was in.

“Hi,” the rule of thumb was even though you were clocked out if you exited from the lobby in work clothes and somebody stopped you, you had to help them. I’d forgotten to tuck my badge away today damnit.

“I’m waiting for someone? He hasn’t been answering his texts I was just wondering if-“

“You could ask reception?” I point to the desk behind her. “They can page who you need.”

“They weren’t really helpful,” she shrugs. “I’m assuming you work with him? Harry?”

It’s the last name I’m expecting from her lips. I nearly stumble back trying to take her in again with the new knowledge of who she might be.

“H-Harry?”

I’d heard her the first time. I’m just trying to grasp at a second to collect myself.

This must be his girlfriend. The one who wanted to be exclusive. And I hated that I’d liked her in our two minute interaction.

He hadn’t spoken much about her since he told me a month ago but since half of our relationship before her was being intimate, we barely talked and when we did it was mostly just work and the relationship felt really fragile and rough.

I could see what Harry saw in her—she was attractive. And not pushy; she let Joey at reception push her around which was hard to do. And she was meeting Harry here, at work. It must be getting serious.

All these thoughts race through my mind in a millisecond.

“Oh! Harry yeah,” I nod when she confirms. “Of course I know him. I think he was in a meeting might be why…I can go back in and check if you-“

“Oh no! Sorry I’m not trying to be a bother. You’re probably going home I just wanted to make sure he was still in?”

“Yeah! Yeah he’s in. I’ll tell Joey—reception, to page him if he’s out. He’s nicer than he seems.”

“That’d be perf,” she beams. I die a little more, unsure why I was helping her this much. Unsure why it bothered me this much.

Ever since Harry had ended the thing we didn’t have, my life had felt haunted. The ghosts of every emotion I killed in the moments we’d been together began to surface and they were torture. Biggest of all was regret and shame. Regret over what could have been if I’d just admitted how deeply I felt months ago. Shame because I wasn’t supposed to feel this way for Harry. Because he obviously didn’t feel the same way, he never would, and it would be embarrassing to ever admit it.

Our actual relationship had gone like this after that night—avoidance -> awkward small talk -> light bantering -> finally, being able to talk semi-normally again.

We stopped hanging out outside of work however, so every day I got to see him was a day I was excited to go into work. My friends told me I had to do something about it—confess and see what he says, or move on.

And I’d tried to move on. But every guy I tried to date didn’t hold a candle to the flame that warmed my heart; to the idiot I had the misfortune of falling for after we ended things.

Or maybe I was just the idiot.

And here I was self-sabotaging by helping his girlfriend. There was definitely something wrong with me.

“Elsie!”

Both our heads turn to the voice.

“There he is,” I say but she’s already squeezing my arm and walking towards him. Harry doesn’t realize I’m standing there and I watch him smile at her in a way that sends a spike to my heart. Then he notices me.

“Oh YN,” his eyelids flutter a few times too many. “Uh-“

“YN god sorry I didn’t even get your name,” Elsie turns back to me. “YN was helping me.”

“Yeah? Thanks,” Harry looks visibly relieved and flashes me a grin. I raise my brows and smile back.

Home. I had to get home.

“Well I figured Har already had a hard time finding a girlfriend, I didn’t want him to lose her so quickly. This isn’t even a very big place.”

Harry’s expression is unreadable but Elsie laughs.

“Very funny,” Harry responds.

“I know.” I gear myself up to say bye. “Well I’ll see you tomorrow, let you get to wherever you’re going. It was nice-“

“Well we’re just hanging out with some friends,” Elsie says.

“YN knows a few of them,” Harry says. I watch his eyes bug a little as he realizes he’s stepped onto a minefield and watch him back away smoothly. “Some of the younger crew go out for drinks sometimes.”

“Ah,” Elsie says as Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder from behind. He was laying it on thick but I don’t think Elsie noticed his hiccup. “Well why doesn’t she come!? YN you should join us! One more friend!”

“Oh I don’t think she wants to-“

“I was honestly just gonna go ho-“

I stop talking the same time Harry does.

“No you should!” Elsie says. “Don’t listen to Harry.”

I catch his eye and they’re saying please don’t.

Don’t tell me what to do, mine say.

Don’t be stubborn.

Challenge accepted.

“Ok! Maybe one drink.” I say as Harry huffs. It felt dangerous, having a non-verbal conversation in front of his girlfriend.

I was an idiot, I confirm. An idiot making bad decisions.

“Yay! Let’s go.” Elsie takes Harry’s hand and drags him to the front door. I nearly laugh at his face as he’s dragged past me—he was mad.

And it comes out a couple hours later. By then I’d had more than a single drink, have befriended most of the people I don’t know at the table and have caught up with those I do know. Harry had been mostly attached by the hip to Elsie and I tried not to stare daggers at it.

They’re an interesting couple, you can tell Harry is distracted most of the night and she tries to accommodate by being around and talking to him. He leaves a hand on her at all times but she doesn’t wrap herself around him the way I used to. Maybe she wasn’t touchy.

Maybe I was being obsessive.

So I distract myself with everyone, with drink, with a particularly cute boy who introduced himself as Elsie’s uni friend. Who happened to be brother’s with Harry’s old flatmate. Small worlds.

“YN,” Harry tugs my sleeve as Grant and I talk—if you can call heavy flirting just talking.

“What?!” I snap after the tugging gets aggressive.

“I need to talk,” He points to himself and then me, “to you.”

I could see he was well past tipsy. It wasn’t often Harry drank to this point so I follow him to find out what was going on.

I follow him to a patio table that had just been vacated, empty glasses littering the surface. An untouched shot sits in the middle. The tableau tells a story—art was everywhere.

“What?” I ask.

“What’re you doing?”

“What am I?” I laugh. “What are you doing? I think you’ve had a few drinks too many mate.”

“You’ve got drinks,” he replies.

“Yeah…” I look back at the half finished drink I left at the bar. “I did have more than I thought. I feel like I drink a lot more when there’s a lot of people around? Otherwise I’m just nursing my drink-“

“Why did you decide to come out tonight? When you’ve met my girlfriend.”

Girlfriend.

“When I’ve…what?! Your girlfriend invited me no thanks to you.”

“Yeah but you never come out anymore. And suddenly you want to come out when Elsie asks?”

“What d’you mean I never come out anymore?”

Harry sighs. “You stopped hanging out.”

“Yeah because you got a girlfriend? You stopped inviting me out!”

“No what? No! You’re always…it’s an open invitation I don’t need to specifically invite you out I-“

“So why did you invite me specifically before?” I call him out, feeling more sober than I was a few minutes ago. “You stopped inviting me. We stopped hanging out. And so I stopped inviting you when I went out cuz I thought you had a girl and I didn’t want to make it complicated I-“

My voice catches on an unfiltered emotion and I want to die. I feel heat creep up my cheeks as I try to swallow it down and hope Harry doesn’t notice. Fuck!

“Anyway your girlfriend invited me so I came! It’s not a big deal.”

“I didn’t…” Harry scratches his nose and looks uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean to stop. I…it was complicated and I-“

“It’s fine. Whatever Har.”

“It’s not,” his brows come together. “Obviously s’not. I’m sorry? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel…”

I almost laugh at what he’s said and how it sounds: I didn’t mean to make you feel. Well, neither did I.

“Yeah whatever. I’m not mad about it.”

“Sorry.” He says instead.

“Thanks,” I clear my throat for good measure, not wanting to be too emotional. I want to tell him I missed him but I don’t think it would be appropriate.

“I thought-“ he breaks off with a laugh. “Nevermind.”

“What?” I push him lightly. “You know I hate when people don’t finish their thought. It’s going to drive me crazy—what?”

“No this one you won’t like. Nevermind.”

“Tell meee,” I poke his shoulder until he slaps my hand away.

“Stop that! I hate when you do that!”

“I know.” I say smugly. “So?”

“It’s stupid. I thought you came here to annoy me or something. And then you’re practically sitting in Grant’s lap…”

He’s right. I wouldn’t like it.

“Hold on,” I bring my hand down on the table. “You thought I was flirting with Grant to annoy you? Why would I-what!?”

“Like I said,” he doesn’t make eye contact. “It was stupid. Nevermind!”

“No it’s not nevermind. You don’t drive what decisions I make in my love life.” Lie. “Got that?”

“Jeez you can’t get angry after forcing me to say!”

“I can!”

“Can you quit bitching I don’t have time for this.”

“I’ll be as big of a bitch as I want to be.” I cross my arms.

“Unfortunately, I know.”

“That’s a completely stupid thought to have-“

“Surely not all your thoughts are winners. That’s why you don’t say all of them.” Harry says, then laughs. “Actually you do. And I always have the displeasure of hearing all of them.”

My jaw drops. “It’s like you’re purposely saying the stupidest shit right now. Like you want to be a prick.”

“C’mon you little shite,” Harry tugs my arm until they uncross. “I’m joking, remember jokes?”

I want to say something snippy, tell him off, but as my arms fall away his hand slides down until the tips of our fingers brush. It makes me feel touch-starved, like I’d been isolated in the woods for the last two months growing crazy for human touch.

Harry senses the shift and his smile dies down, his throat bobbing up and down.

How was it that Harry, out of every man I’ve ever met and continue to meet, has this effect on me? How can one touch quiet my mind so completely while pushing my heart into overdrive.

Why, I want to ask the universe. Why was it this man in front of me that made me feel so intensely?

“YN,” he says.

I should pull away. I should because his fingers creep further now pressing into my palm. I want them to slide higher until they’re tangled in my hair, pulling me closer. I wanted him closer.

“I missed you,” it comes stumbling out. And the shock of it pulls me out of whatever trance I just found myself in.

I pull my hand away and Harry straightens up, his gaze clearing too.

“Sorry.” My heart is in my throat now. “Sorry. I didn’t—that was inappropriate. I’m gonna go back now…”

“Wait,” he calls out as I head back to Grant knowing my heart wasn’t in it anymore. That I was going home.

“Hm?” I try to blink away the shame as I turn back towards him.

“D-do you…regret anything?”

I raise a brow and he flushes. I was making this torture for both of us but I wanted him to ask.

Stupidly, I wanted him to know.

“Between us. I know we never…we’re just friends. But did you ever regret…us?”

I shake my head. “No. No. Never. It was some of the best times.”

It’s like I’ve said the wrong thing. His face falls and I decide I had to go. Had to. I was afraid what else might be spilled out between us.

I don’t even remember what I tell Grant, just that I grab any of my belongings that I can spot, ask him to throw his number into my phone, and hightail it out. And I nearly make it to the tube when a warm hand grips my arm.

“Get off—oh!” I nearly whack Harry with my purse but he ducks anyway. “What the fuck Har!?”

“Sorry. Sorry sorry!” He lets me go and I miss his warmth. “I didn’t realize!”

“Yeah! You can’t just grab a woman at night like that!”

“Obviously! I wasn’t thinking! I was just trying to get to you-“

“Why?”

“Bloody hell you know why YN!”

I stare at him. His face doesn’t hide a single thought, a single emotion. It’s vulnerable, and terrifying.

“Don’t take the piss.” He grabs my arms and gives me a shake. “You know. You know.”

“I-don’t do this. Har, you have a girlfriend. I don’t want to be that girl ok?”

“Why?”

“Why? Because that’s awful and-“

“No! Why didn’t you say anything when we were together? Any time we were together? When I told you I had a girlfriend? Why were you always so…cool?”

“Me? Cool?” I laugh. “There’s nothing cool about me Har.”

“Well you’re hard to fucking read then! I dunno! I was always leaving hints and signals that I actually liked you. And you always ignored them!”

“Hints? Signals?” I gape. “When the—what the hell do you call hints?!”

“I…I wanted you to meet my fucking parents for god’s sake. Did you really never-“

“If I’m hard to read so are you mate,” I lean against the closest thing—a mailbox. My legs are jelly. “Was that when you vaguely suggested I wake up in your bed while your parents were down?!”

“Fine well I bought you chocolates that one time, I’ve even got some of your tees in my room! I-I tried to plan romantic dates for us—Hampstead! I tried to tell you-“

“What?” I’m not asking him anything. I’m just questioning everything; everything I avoided and played off had meaning. Of course it did. Everything had meaning, but I’d just thrown our dictionary out the window so it would mean nothing. Because I was afraid.

“Really?!” Harry sighs. He crouches down and runs his hands through his hair. “Am I that bad? I thought I was making it so clear but you always brushed it off. I felt like an idiot for falling for you when it was just s’pose to be casual. I thought I was being a bloody simp.”

I inch down to where he crouches.

“You fell for me?” I whisper.

When he looks at me it’s with eyes that look like broken seaglass. With a mouth curved down so low that I want to kiss into a smile. Into a laugh.

He cups my face, his thumb brushing my cheek. I give in to the sigh and his lips lift ever so slightly.

“How could I not?”

“I thought I drove you crazy?” I grasp his hand. “I thought I was just a fun distraction I-“

“I never said the second part.” He interrupts.

“You sure?”

“You were reading the wrong hints.”

I laugh and so does he. It almost turns into tears.

He stands and extends a hand that I take, his warm palm covering mine.

“Now’s when you return the confession,” he says without letting go. “So?”

“What? I’m not hiding any confessions!”

“Liar,” he tugs me close. “Your heart’s racing.”

“That’s from getting up so quickly.”

“You’re full of shite.”

We’re smiling so hard I’m sure we look like crazy people on the street.

But he had a girlfriend. Oh god. A sweet girl I’d just met today.

His expression grows confused as mine must turn to worry. I untangle myself.

“Harry…”

“I know.” He finally clues in.

“We can’t-“

“I know.”

We stare at each other for a heartbeat.

“I’m gonna go. Or else…”

“Just like that?” He asks.

“How else is it supposed to be?” I demand. “We can’t do this Har. And please…if you like her…respect her at all—don’t break up with her just to be with me. I wouldn’t be able to stomach it.”

“Then I’m just lying to her.”

“I…” I shrug. “I dunno. I just don’t want to be the reason for her heartbreak okay?”

“You’re being a sensitive snowflake. Breaking up with her is the right thi-“

“You can’t call people snowflakes-

“I can if that’s what they’re being-“

“I’m going home.” I tell him. It’s the last thing I want to do.

He opens his mouth with whatever quick retort he always had. But he must think twice about it. His face draws into a frown.

“Sort yourself out.” I instruct him. “Just sort it out. And then one day soon we can see…y’know.”

I half turn away, but can’t bear to leave without touching him one last time. Who knows when the next time will be. I flit to him so I can press my lips against the warmth of his cheek, so intoxicating. Like an addict only sniffing the alcohol in their cup. And when I feel his body loosening, about to hold my own, I flit away and rush into the tube without a glance back.

I don’t register anything on the ride home. I’m too shocked to even cry about it.

I wash the day away, the scent of him and the look on his face when he realizes we each had been trying to hold out own glaring neon signs to each other.

It’s late when there’s a knock on my door. I figure it’s my roommate forgetting her keys, and since I’d been laying on my bed in my towel after my shower too numb to sort myself out I end up opening the door basically naked.

It’s Harry.

His eyes roam over my terryclothed figure with a smile.

“What—what are you doing here!?” I grab the edge of my towel to keep it in place.

“Were you expecting someone else?” He asks.

“No-stop!” I push my hand into his chest as he crosses through the doorway. “Why are you here?”

His eyebrows draw together, hurt. “I…I didn’t think I was that drunk—we did just admit our feelings to each other a few hours ago right?”

“Yes but!” I put my hand down because his heart is beating fast under my hand and I don’t want to feel it a second longer. “You were also supposed to sort yourself out and-“

“Can you just let me in?”

I stare at him.

He stares back.

“Fine!” I give up and move aside. He closes the door behind him. That’s when I notice his hands. “What’s that?”

“For you.” He holds a bouquet up. “I know they’re shitty. I couldn’t find much at this time of night-“

“No hold on, I don’t understand.”

“We’ve wasted enough time throwing out shitty hints that apparently neither of us could read. We should never be detectives.”

I stay still, waiting for an explanation. Any bloody explanation as to why he’s here and not with his girlfriend!

“I went back to Elise. She knew something was wrong right away. I tried to deny it. She asked if something was going on between us-“

“God seriously Har! I said not to-“

“Did you want me to go back and pretend to be in love with her when I just had a fucking bomb go off in my life!? I know you don’t want to be that girl YN but I don’t want to be that shitty guy who stays with someone because he feels bad! What does that make me?”

I can picture Elise’s face in my mind. Oh god.

“She wasn’t mad-“

“You wish.” I snort.

“No she wasn’t. Well she was at first because she thought I was with you and her at the same time. I explained. I apologized. She got it. She…turns out she was still hung up over her ex. That she really liked me but she was mostly doing it to get her parents off her back. Because they never like who she dates. Which wasn’t a great thing to hear but…I’m pretty sure I saw her catching a cab as I was leaving. Maybe she went back to her ex.”

I’m dumbfounded with his retelling of what happened after I’d left.

“She’s okay. Are we?” He asks when I don’t reply.

The bouquet looks rough, like it was maybe clutched too hard and the flowers are nearing the end of their life. I imagine Harry rifling through a flower stand to find something for me. Coming here because he couldn’t wait.

I was kidding myself. I couldn’t wait either.

“Okay.”

“Okay??” He asks but he’s closing the distance because he’s reading me. He already knows me.

“Fine.” I say as he loops his arms around my waist. I stretch my arms up around his shoulders, clasping them at his neck. Something throbs deep in my chest. I missed him.

“I missed you,” he says. Always reading my mind.

“I didn’t know I could.” I say to him. His eyes are filled with a raw emotion that mirrors whatever’s aching in my chest.

“You’re like something from the gallery,” he cups my face. “Beautiful and original, breathtaking and you pass by it every opportunity you get just to get another glimpse. It makes you realize what you’ve been missing your whole life.”

“Aw Har,” my voice wobbles. If this was Harry when he was direct and not giving shitty hints I don’t know how I was going to survive us.

“What?” He whispers.

“You’ve got a soft side. You’re not actually a prick.”

His dimples make an appearance as he smiles. “I told you. I’ve just got standards don’t I.”

I wanted all of him—god how did I fool myself this whole time. I wanted all of him. He was just so lovely. “I think you’re going to ruin me,” I whisper back. His grin disappears and he tugs me ever closer.

“You’ve already ruined me.” He says. “I can’t look at any piece of art without thinking of you. I can’t go a day without wondering about you.”

“Is that healthy?” I murmur. My heart drums.

“Who the fuck cares about healthy?” He laughs.

We gaze at each other, the blood rushes through my body at high speeds.

“Mutual ruin?” I ask.

He responds with a kiss so passionate that I forget how to breath. I’m sure my towel was being held up by our bodies at this point.

“Mutual ruin. Or you can just ruin me.” His lips brush against my ear, feather down my neck. “I’m madly in love with you YN. There’s nobody but you.”

I don’t know whether to laugh from giddiness or cry from how my heart overflows.

“Har, I think I get the hint.” I say instead. He laughs.

“Fucking finally.”

💟💟💟💟

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #writingsfromhome #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #fic #harry styles one shot

143 notes · View notes