#like. uh i sure HOPE you did????? it would be a pretty shitty review otherwise

[judeharoldvich]

just found out there are people who hate channel awesome and think that the nostalgia critic videos are 'substitutes' for watching movies and don't fall under fair use. don't let them see subway surfers tiktok they'll have an anuerysm

[heliosthegriffin]

Gamer AU

Author’s Note: I really badly want to write a gamer!Jaune Fanfic, but getting a system to work that makes sense to me has been a bitch to deal with, and no, I don’t want to use the system from the Gamer, it’s over used. So I’ve been making my own system from the ground up. Any the story’s nowhere near ready for day light. Also, the main focus would be on Jaune and his immediate family and that drama, so pretty OC heavy. It’d also start pretty early in his life around ten or so, he also isn’t very interested in being a hunter, just making sure his family is happy and alive.

Any-who: Here’s a scene clip from my head, that’ll be better fleshed out later.

Scene: The Waterfront Cafe

Jaune hurriedly walks back and forth through the cafe, makings sure the dozen or so customers were being well cared for, while he cooks their food.

It was only midday, but he had already make a decent profit, meaning he didn’t have to work into the evening and keep the cafe open. A couple more weeks and he might have enough to permanently hired a waiter; For now though, he was soloing his way through running his sisters-... his cafe.

He shook his head and focused on the positive today. Like how he was fifteen years old and a successful business owner, well several businesses... and other things that were definitively illegal. but like Roman says “Legal is for people who don’t want to get rich.”

The thought of his friend, even if Roman would never admit it, brought a genuine smile to his face. He hoped Roman his enforcer came to visit soon. They made for good conversation, and were good tippers, even if the other one got a little grabby. Still, Roman had yet to send him a time to keep the Waterfront open for him to visit, so he’d have to keep a look out for one of his runners.

Only Jaune Arc would think so casually about having a powerful crime boss as a friend and customer, and his stab-happy murder goblin enforcer.

Also only Jaune Arc would fail to notice despite his Perception well over 70 that his genuine smile cause all who saw it to melt and turn their legs into jelly.

“First time?” “What? What do you mean? And what the hell was that!?” A customer whisper yelled.

“The Jaune Arc Smile, it has an effect on people. Beside the divine cooking, it’s one of the reason people come here.”

“... That's insane.”

“Oh, definitely. But, is that going to stop you from coming back?”

“I said that this was insane, but I didn’t say I was stupid. I haven’t felt so content in years.”

The two customers drifted off into conversation.

Jaune still failing to notice, having a professional standard of not ease-dropping on his customers.

Of course with that being the case Jaune failed to notice the two loud-mouth women who walked in and sat down at a table like they owned the place.

Neither woman was particularly attractive, or in shape, in-fact the only interesting thing about either was the fact that they both had dyed grey hair with grey contacts. With the only thing differing about the two, was the taller one was fat, and the shorter one thin.

“So, I said “what are you part of the Alpha Male Huntsmen agenda? Cause if you don’t give me that purse for free I’m going to cry rape!” Then he gave it to me and ran his little ass back to home.” The taller one said

“Oh, you are such a bad bitch!.” Replys the shorter one. “Oh, don’t I know it, so why are we here?”

“Oh, you don’t know, the food here is killer! Or, so I heard.”

“Really? It just looks like a shitty little cafe, the only thing really note is the location.”

“Yeah, I saw it while looking on the Scroll. Also, the service is great, but the thing is... It’s only run by one guy! You know what that means?” Shortys says

“Yes!”

““Free lunch!”“The a pair says together.

“When this glass of water get here!?”

“See, told you get the service was great!”

Jaune appears before the table, apron on, long golden hair in a ponytail and, notebook in hand. “Did some say service?

“Oh shit!”

“Fuck! Where did you come from?!” “Sorry Misses. I thought you two would like some service? I can give you more time if you’d like.”

The two get a full view of Jaunes features, reducing themselves into a blushing stuttering mess.

“There are you can scan the table for the menu if you like, or check the website, I’ll give you some more time.” Jaune says leaving with another pearly white smile.

Further burning out the pair’s brain cells.

A few minutes later.

“How, how can guy be so gorgeous? You said he was a guy right!?” The taller one says “Yeah, I did! All the reviews say he’s a guy!” Shortys says. “Like read this here, “The server is amazing, he always arrives on time, never pry's, but will always listen, what he cooks can only be called art and a world wonder, I am always happy to tip!”

The pair look at each other. “I thought it was reviewer bias.” “What ever, gorgeous or not, I’m getting a free meal today.” Say the fatter one.

The shorter one looks more hesitant. “I don’t know,, he looks so nice, it almost feels like a crime...”

“What do we care about crimes, when it’s the Alpha Male Huntsman Regime oppressing us!”

“... I’ll stick to paying, you do you though...” The shorter of the pair says, twirling her hair, heavily reconsidering keeping a different color.

“Whatever traitor, I’ll show you, and then you’ll see I’m right!”

“Suuure.” The shorter, and obviously smart one says disbelieving, ‘If he’s that pretty and nice, there’s no way that’s going to happen, cause either he’s way tough, or someones looking after him, otherwise this place would be out of business, with people trying to take advantage of him. ’

Half an hour later.

The larger one has several plates and cups empty before her, seemingly having everything on the menu, holding her bloated stomach in a state of ecstasy.

The shorter one only having finished a two plates, having had a club sandwich and muffin, along with the house brew, filling just the right amount of full and very content.

“Misses?” Jaune says “I hope you found everything to your liking.” His smile sweet like sugar, but warm like the spring breeze.

The shorter one blushes hard. “Uh, uh, yes” She finally squeaks out. “it was amazing...”

“’S alright, I guess” The fatter one says appearing disappointed and unimpressed.

Jaune seems a little hurt by the fatter one’s opinion, causing several other customers to look on murderously at the fat woman.

She is unfortunately oblivious to this.

Jaune lets go of the expression.” Well, my apologies miss, I’ll makes sure it’s better next time.”

‘It can get better!’ The fatty thinks.

The murderous glares grow sharper.

“I thought it was really good!” The shorter one says standing up, and then realizing how insanely tall and large Jaune is compared to her, and even her friend. His thighs being bigger than her torso, his pecs standing higher than she is and her friend. Yet he moved like the wind and with the grace of a dancer.

The large fatty snorts in disdainfully at her soon to be former friend.

“Now would you like to pay to together or separately?”

“I’m not pay-” The tall fatty begins. “Separately.” Only to be cut off by the shorter one. Who, glared at her, clearly unimpressed by her soon to be former friend.

Jaune nods and goes off to get their bills.

“The fuck was that! I was about to get us a free feel, bitch!”

“You were about to get us both kicked from the best cafe in the kingdom!”

“You, ungrateful cunt!”

“Whatever, I don’t need your approval,” She spots Jaune and walks over to take the bill, and tips him, before walking a way with an obvious skip in her step.

“Ma’am her is your bill-”

“I’m not paying.” “Come again?”

“I’m not paying you shit, you piece of garbage!” The woman says with a sneer.

Jaunes eyes narrow, he pulls up a chair and sits down staring her in the eyes.

“Why would that be ma’am, was there something not to your liking?” Jaune say his voice changing from airy, bubbly and sweet, to a deep, harsh, and cold tone. It was listening to a pop-star mixed with meowing of a kitten, and all the warmth of breezy, sunny  spring day, to a cold winter night in Mantle while listening to a murdering whisper death-core to you .

The fat grey-head shook with intense fear for all of three second before speaking again, but not without withdrawing her eyes from his own.

“I said before I’ll say it again bastard, I’m not paying you a cent, you Valiaen Huntsman supporting shitlord!”

“My father’s a huntsman, if you have a problem with them please, do keep them to yourself.”

“I’ll say whatever I want shitlord! And if you so much as touch me, I’ll scream you rape you rapist shithole!” The woman says, suddenly getting her confidence back, remembering that she’s the one with power in this situation, or so she thinks. “An if you try anything, beside letting me walk out of here without paying, I’ll make sure you never see your family again, or even better, make sure your whole Huntsman propaganda spewing familys face’s kicked from the kingdom! And guess what fuckup? I going to come back here tomorrow with my friends and your going to give us all a free-”

“Quiet.” A single word came from Jaune’s mouth, but from the way the woman closed her mouth it looked like he shut her mouth with his own two hands.

Jaune stopped holding back his overwhelming level of Personality and letting it Project forward, all 80 levels of it and his maxed out Intimidation.

The fat woman suddenly became aware of how close Jaune was to here, how big his hands are, how long and strong his arms are, he wouldn’t even need to get up to grab her neck across the table and his hands could cover her entire next with ease, it would take no effort for him to kill then and there, and that shook her.

From the corners of her eyes it was like she could she the other customer turnign way with, but not out of fear, but with intense glee! He could kill her then and there and they wouldn’t say a word, they might even help!

Jaune spoken and with it came a weight so heavy that it choked the words out of her.

“Listen here, I’m going to say this once and never again, after I finish telling you this, you will be like you never existed to me, is that clear?” Jaune said to her with a sinister, cold and happy smiles. It was like looking at an open grave with her name on it.

She nodded with all her force, and barely let out a ”Yes,” Feeling hyper-aware of Jaune and his body, easily seeing him choking her, hitting her and smashing her face in, taking a knife to her neck letting her bleed out, the phantom pain of a eye being gouged out, and near endless death Jaune could bring to her, all while listening to him.

“I was being humble earlier, but you don’t downplay my cooking, I”m the best chef without a degree in the kingdom, In a couple months I will be the best chef in the kingdom. I am the best cafe in this kingdom. I am no rapist, but even if I was why would waste my time going after, a fat, loose, stupid, boring, and painfully annoying creature as you, do you think my standard are low enough to be in the sewer, because that where I’d fine you, But, I could accept all of that abuse.” Jaune rapid-fired at her, “But,” His eyes looked at her like razors. “But, you tried to bring my family into this... And, NOBODY, AND, I MEAN NOBODY, BEING, OR, ENTITY! MESSES WITH MY FAMILY! IS THAT YELL YOU FUCKING MICROSCOPIC, WORTHLESS, VACUUM OF INTELLIGENCE, PARASITE!?” Jaune said to her calmly before yelling at her, his voice like a hurricane on steroids made of pure anger.

The woman shook before him, tearing falling freely, squeaking out in pure terror for her life. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” Jaune shook out another caverous roar. “BITCH! I did not ask for your worthless sorry ass to say SORRY! I ASKED IF YOU GOT IT?! WELL? DID YOU FUCKING GET IT?!”

“YES, SIR I GOT! I’M SO SORRY! PLEASE DON’T-“ The woman screamed in terror,

“THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU GOT YOUR FUCKING FREE MEAL, GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK, IF I SO MUCH AS SEE A HAIR OF YOU’RE FAT ASS, I”M GOING TO MAKE SURE THEY HAVE A MISSING PERSON’S WARRANT ON YOUR FAT ASS, AND YOU KNOW FUCKING WHAT? NOBODYS GOING TO CARE, NOW LEAVE!” Jaune said punctuation the last word by pounding the table with hands while screaming into the face of the woman.

She ran, she ran like her life depended on it, a trail of piss following her,  ugly crying all the way home.

Jaune then turned to his customers. “I’m sorry, about that folks,” His voice once again melodic and beautiful. “But, I’m sure that will not happen for about a month or two.” “Don’t worry we didn’t see anything.” His regulars said, with smug grins and some outright laughing or recording to put on dustube.

“Well, since y’all didn’t see anything, I say free coffee and today pie on the house!”

“WHOO!!”

Jaune then cleaned the table, and grabbed several glasses to refill, before returning the kitchen.

Returning to the two customers from earlier.

“What was that?”

“Oh that, don’t worry about that, it comes and goes, but we regulars call it free coffee and desert day.” “That’s insane... Who wouldn’t pay for this food?”

“You got a good head on you, kid.”

Jaune was in the kitchen cooking with one hand, and typing into his scroll behind his back with the other.

‘Junior, I got a favor to call in.’

Buzz.

‘The Malachite's saw everything.’

Jaune smirked evilly.

‘Good, tell them I’ll have their favorites ready when they get here... And something for you too.’

With Junior.

Junior: Happy crime boss noises.

The Next day.

The short grey hair girl arrived just as Jaune was opening.

“I am so sorry! About that I’d like to apologize for the idiots behavior.” “Oh it’s fine, I get customers like that from time to time. Now though I must say you look better without out those grey eyes. Brown suits you better.” The short hair-girl blushed heavily, having stopped using the color contacts.

“Thanks you...” “Now would like some breakfast?”

“YES!”

Authors note:Whew, that was exhausting, but I think it turned out ok.

By the way I came up for some names for the customers.

The first regulars name is Bronson

The new guy is Becker

The fat girl is Licorish

The shorter girl is Gracie

If your curioius why Jaune’s not in school and running a his sisters cafe, or where his sister is, that will all be touch on in the story.

Now here’s Jaunes Stats

Jaune Arc

15 and 1/4

Male

Strength: 68 Speed: 72

- Toughness: 6 - Grace: 7

Wits: 53     Wisdom: 82

- Calculation: 5 - Mental Fortress: 8

Personality: 80 Perception: 75

- Attraction: 8  -Sensory : 7

- Anima:390 (This option is greyed out)

- Aura Level: 3900 (this option is greyed out)

Now these are still subject to change.

He’s maxed out: Cooking, Dancing, Intimation, CQC, MMA, Valerian Boxing, Valerian Fencing, Short blade, Cleaning, Stealth, Sprinting, Climbing, Voice Manipulation, Body Control, ????? That’s all I’m listing for now, but it will only grow.

Traits:???? Heheh, watch and wait.

That’s all for now fokes. Have a beautiful day.

[bunnylouisegrimes]

Episode 9 Review (The Future: What Does It Hold?)

Tagging @coldsoba per request

This episode was a headache for me. I was anticipating it, and although it wasn’t entirely bad and it wasn’t the worst, I think this episode highlights all the bad aspects of this season and brings them together. It brings some of the good that this season brought out together as well, but it’s evident to me now that we’re reaching the end so far that the bad is outweighing the good. This episode has me worried about the future of the series, and angry overall. I’m concerned that if this series does continue and has a season 3, it won’t be good, and it will turn into a shit show like The Walking Dead did (they want a season 3, although, based on the low ratings and low viewership, AMC might cancel, no one truly knows yet, especially if BBC and all that other stuff helps boost it).

Before I start this review, I’d like to say right here and now: this is a pretty critical analysis, and possibly has a bunch of unpopular opinions, but I’m saying it anyways. I’m mad, I’m annoyed, and I’m ticked. Last week’s episode ticked me off, this... Oh, man... just know I’m cool if you disagree with me, but I’m hoping by the end you all understand why I feel this way.

Now, don’t get me wrong: like most episodes of this show from this season, despite entire scenes and plot points being bad, it has great moments to enjoy. Did this episode contain lots of action and intensity? Hell yes, and I liked that. Did it stay true to the book ending so far? In a few ways, yes. Pretty much all the ways it didn’t due to the changes they made that were already questionable were the things I didn’t like, which leads me to this: Do I like the direction the story is going, based on what we know and have so far? Hell no. Of course, we don’t know 100% the direction it’s going until next week’s episode, but right now, I’m very on the fence.

Because there is a lot of bad I’m going to discuss, let’s get the good out of the way.

Lou and Vic in the beginning, as per usual, are sweet and I love them. Tabitha and Lou’s interaction was sweet as well. Seeing Charlie frightened and shook was oddly cute, but also funny. And Wayne and Charlie’s interaction... I’m sorry, it was just adorable. I like the idea of Maggie and Vic going to Christmasland together, that was a good choice (although now... I’m uncertain).

To begin the negativity, we’ll start with Charlie and the house scene. I like Charlie confronting his own fears, it’s a very interesting concept. I find it kinda stupid and confusing Charlie wouldn’t know this house exists in his own mind, I mean, it is a part of his own mind, even if it was in the back of it. Why would he not know? Despite that, we’re gonna move onto the meat and potatoes. Now, Cassie’s POV, based on how she was presented in the show (which I still hate, btw, and I am greatly annoyed with how she is not the abuser she was in the book, but I’ve discussed this already a million times), makes sense. We get why she’s pissed, she should be, although I don’t think she understands that her ex-husband had all of this shit happen to him as far as creating Christmasland and becoming a vampire and all that by having a mental snap. It all happened due to his mental pressure. He didn’t have full control (if any control!) over that entire situation. It happened, his life depended on souls and energy from that moment on, and he had to make do with the shitty end of the stick being presented to him. Christmasland is both good and bad, and vampirism is both good and bad, and Charlie has to try to make do with what he can to give himself and his daughter happiness, and focus on the positives. Cassie could’ve maybe given him at least that credit, but she makes it out like, “You’ve brought her happiness in presents and candy, not making her a woman.” Uh... Cassie? Charlie and Millie became vampires out of his control. All this shit happened, how the hell could he reverse all of it? Is there anyway he could? It’s not even explained if he can, but the writers ignore this fact and make it out to be like, “Look, he’s so evil!” Writers, is there anyway he could change these things, even if he wanted to? “Well, no, not exactly, but look, he’s still evil!” So... you’re not even allowing him to have an opportunity to change, and then when he’s stuck in the situation and making the best out of it, even if it isn’t 100% the best way... he’s still super heinous and evil? “Yes!” Okay... whatever... see this is another reason why it annoys me how they’re writing Charlie as “the worst person in the world,” when really, he isn’t. He’s not an angel, but he is not as evil as this show wants to present. Pretty much all of Cassie’s criticisms are valid, but she could’ve at least given Charlie some credit. Nope! But the thing that really bothered me in the back of my mind was how much better this scene would’ve been had they actually written his backstory properly. I kept thinking how much better it would’ve been if an abusive Cassie comes back to haunt Charlie and taunt him, degrading him, and mocking him, how much more sense it would’ve made. And if Millie pointed these things out to him, it might’ve changed his mind some (he would think, “oh, even my daughter kinda agrees with the abuser”). It works here with the way they portrayed her, despite the point I mentioned about Charlie making the best of shit falling flat on Cassie’s end, but it would’ve been 1000% better if they made her an abuser and she scared Charlie, then Millie brings up similar points and Charlie’s POV starts to change a bit.

(Plus, I’d like to add that by doing that, you’re setting potential up for a Charlie redemption arch, and he wouldn’t have to die, Vic and Maggie wouldn’t have to die, and season 3 has interesting potential, and you still have your main characters that we enjoy).

On the topic of this scene, here is a take a friend of mine gathered from it that I definitely can see as well: The point they were trying to make in this scene is that Charlie is a coward. This is their interpretation of Cassie being ‘abusive,’ they didn't leave it out (her being angry at him) like we thought they would. They wanted to give her a concrete reason to hate him so much and call him out for his bad deeds. Also, this house, which was hidden away at the back of his mind, is a mesh of Charlie's fears and his guilt. Based on his facial expressions and his mannerisms, and how he forcefully held Millie, this was all out of fear and guilt for what he did to them that first time and how The Wraith pretty much consumes you. She's literally trying to tell his stupid ass that they can never leave, otherwise, they'll turn to static, which they will. Millie can't go anywhere because she's stuck there and Charlie knows because he was selfish, he robbed her of her future without intending to. Charlie is highkey a yandere, even for his own kid, but it makes sense because he's never really had anything, Also, as to why he’s sort of controlling in a sense: he's driven by fear and also anger if you think about it. Christmasland is how he projects and saving other children because he had a rough and traumatic childhood, he has some serious mental health issues. This I see 100% presented here too, which is a good aspect coming out of this scene. This season does show us a really vulnerable Charlie as they explore his past and give him a breaking point, which we like! But we both definitely agreed that they wanted to make Charlie more of a dick than needed throughout this whole season. Maybe these writers really wanted more drama, especially Manx family drama, through Charlie acting worse? Not so sure. Either way, it gets on my nerves, and it’s almost inconsistent with the narrative they want to spin. They keep going back and forth with “Charlie’s so sad” (which, I would agree, he is, but they even mess that up and somehow still make him look worse) and “Omg he is the worst person ever.” I hope I’ve explained myself well enough in this area, it’s a very complicated and convoluted topic that has me conflicted and annoyed myself.

I think most importantly, the thing that annoys me about all of this Manx family drama the most is: How tf are they gonna “live normal lives” and “escape?” Millie grabbing onto the ornament prevents her from disappearing, which really doesn’t make sense. I’m sure they’ll clarify it next episode, but how is she gonna become a woman and live a normal life? For Christ’s sake, Charlie can barely understand the modern world as an adult man! You think a kid like her is gonna truly enjoy it or understand it? I have my doubts on this and how they’ll write all of that. Plus, she’s a vampire! If she returns human and all the other kids do when their ornaments break, and this is something that confuses me even in the book... where will they go? Oh yeah, they’ll somehow find normal lives! Honestly, it would make more sense to have them move onto the afterlife. Are they gonna keep them human and alive to make them the stars of the show? That possible concept of, “Oh, the kids are gonna be the stars of the show now!” No, writers... just no. Nobody is gonna care about that. Again, it’s a possibility, and it’s a possibility I’m not thrilled by personally. I don’t want them to be the stars. They can be awesome supporting characters, but not the main focus. Idk man, I’m just saying right now, I’m not so sure how this whole concept is gonna work and I fear how they’re going to write it.

Next up: Wayne’s shitty behavior. Wayne is acting like a really big asshole, and it’s getting on my nerves. “He’s now a vampire!” I hear someone say. “Of course he’s acting this way!” Yes, but the reason why it’s especially annoying is because Vic keeps trying and trying to get the point across to him, and it’s all for nothing. We know Vic’s opinions and her heartfelt feelings for her son, and she ends up having to repeat herself when she might as well be taking to the wall. What’s the point? Filler? We already know Vic’s determination is strong. In the book, how Wayne was acting was better. He held onto himself, but he also didn’t, but Vic’s words managed to get across to him quite a few times throughout his journey. This would’ve been much better on screen, but the writer’s were like, “HA HA NOPE!” The scene that really angered me: what was the point of Vic making her speech (which was really nice btw) only for Wayne to not listen... you’d think that’d be the scene where he changes, but the writers decided to turn it into a shock value filler moment (similar to Chris’s death, which, btw, all this nonsense is making his death for near nothing). And, let’s not forget my question from last week.. where is Craig in all of this? Hmmm... guess he decided to take a vacation from helping his biological son, because he’s just gone! Why?! What was the point?! He better at least appear next week, but even then... too late now, buster! Probably should’ve been here earlier! I mean, for real, what was the point of Craig’s character at this point? What a waste of potential...

The worst part imo from this entire episode: Okay, so the writers make Charlie an even worse villain, even giving him those subtle sadistic undertones even as Vic is trying to talk to Wayne (alright, I get it, there’s that element to “saving” Wayne that’s vengeful when it comes to Charlie, but it’s honestly just too much darkness; it’s almost out of character, especially when it’s in a scene like this. I get it, he likes the idea of getting revenge on Vic, but does he have to be THIS dark? That laugh he gave was funny, yes, and I couldn’t help myself but laugh just because of how stupid it sounded, but looking at the reason why he laughed... if anything, he would’ve stood there with a smug smile and say something like, “I told you he loves me more.” They make him way too dark and it really takes away from the fact he is a villain with moral code, but these writers have seemingly forgotten that with the exception of the one scene in episode 7 where he condemns Bing’s rape. Of course, the rapist might be getting a redemption arch anyways, not Charlie, but uh... moving on from all that past shit!). Yeah, as I was saying, they make Charlie darker. Okay, let’s forget my opinions on that for a moment: the characters have the opportunity to make him, this super evil and irredeemable villain, weak to the point he couldn’t get up at all... But Maggie stops him from being in this state? WHAT?! That shit is very out of character for her, and it’s very out of character for Vic to just stop! Vic would’ve persisted, and if the roles were reversed, Charlie would’ve persisted. That’s the thing about them both: they are persistent and protective about their kids. Why did Vic need to stop? “We need to find your son!” MAGGIE! You’ve both tried multiple times already! Focus on Charlie when you have the chance! How stupid are you two?! And better yet: Why would Vic drop the weapon?! She would’ve grabbed it!!!! What the hell is this shit?! I can’t even express how stupid this is... I get you can’t exactly kill him, but you could make absolute certain he would be subdued and unable to even have the chance to get up and grab his weapon. But nope! They need to attempt for the thousandth time to save Wayne in the exact same way, when it has shown not to work. You’d think they’d at least attempt to think of something else, even if their options are limited, but nah, we’re gonna do something very out of character instead... why?

Things aren’t looking too good for Maggie, so I have to ask: is Maggie gonna die? And if so, that is beyond fucking stupid. They set up the potential for a plot with Tabs and Mags for the third season. I didn’t pick up that they officially broke up, rather just separated for now, and... for what?! If she’s seriously gonna die, I’m gonna be extremely pissed. That wasted potential and insult to her character would be so fucking stupid. Yes, she dies in the book (in a different fashion, and it’s probably not that great how she goes there either), but look at all they’ve done for her character, especially giving her a girlfriend, a character that’s become even more important. Her death would be questionably more insulting here for sure!

Overall, while there were things I liked about this episode, I am majorly disappointed and concerned for the future of the series. I’m afraid it will take directions that are not good, and if it does continue, I am afraid it will be a living dead show of sorts. I think the only true way this show can carry on and be good is if all our main most important characters (Vic, Maggie, Charlie, Lou, Wayne, and Tabs) are all alive. Now, Vic and Charlie might be the only exception to this, just because they both do die in the book, and although even that is rough and not the best, it is expectant and I think this show can still be good with Maggie, Lou, Tabitha, and Linda taking care of Wayne (I’m not gonna go into the potential with Millie in this scenario because that’s a rocky topic lol). But if this show follows the path of TWD, where we have a whole new cast of characters you’re not really gonna care about and all the old cast you got to know and love is just gone... that’ll be the cherry on top of this shit sundae. I am excited for the concept of exploring the world of other Strong Creatives, as many rumors speculate the next season will contain, but if the show that explored the world of zombies failed by getting rid of pretty much their whole old cast... what about this show? They’ve already messed up quite a few things I don’t like this season I’ve discussed before, and if they go the route of doing anything that can get worse... I can’t describe how disappointing it would be. Not saying things have to be perfect or my way all the way, but it has to be generally good and enjoyable for everyone. Growing attached to a cast of characters only to erase many of them and focus on a new one is not a way that is good and enjoyable for everyone. AMC: This happened with TWD; for the love of God, don’t let it happen with NOS4A2.

As I said in my last review: let’s hope next week is better, and AMC, for the second time in a row, doesn’t deliver a disappointment of a show.

[shnuggletea]

More of the AWARD WINNING FANFICTION! Wooo I don't see myself getting tired of that. Thank you all for voting, reading, reviewing, and just being amazing people in general. Cause even if all you did was read, you still made my day. I write to share and to have you guys come back and say "we love what you're doing there" really makes me want to keep on. My ego is going to get so big guys, I'm not even kidding. Thank you @feudalconnection for hosting and to everyone that took the time to read, nominate, and vote!

Many of you expressed... interest in some loving between the lovely couple. This chapter has my response to that! Get ready for some heat!

Fanfiction HERE

AO3 HERE

Chapter Eleven

"So Kagome, how are things?"

Maten sat across from her, next to Inuyasha who had graced them with his presence for this meal. A rare occurrence and now Maten and his brother sat with them as well. Their table was getting so full.

"I'm fine. How are you? Your bones have healed nicely."

He chuckled and blushed slightly. Her eyes danced to Inuyasha just in time to catch him rolling his eyes. Hiten sat his elbows on the table and rubbed his hands together as if making up a master plan. "Have you been in the basement lately?"

She wasn't really sure what she was allowed to say about that, again glancing at Inuyasha who gave her a small shake of his head. "Yeah, a little."

"Naraku's going to be really gunning for you then. That prick, it's not like you have a choice." Maten growled.

"They still have you going into the basement? Why didn't you tell us, Kagome?"

Shippo's eyes were large and glistening as if saddened not to be in the loop. She quickly patted his head affectionately. "Oh, it's so… boring and gross down there. I didn't think it was a big deal."

The things one has to tell children to keep them appeased. Shippo smiled again and wagged his tail. It was so adorable, she couldn't stop herself from also giving him a fierce hug. Kagome just didn't understand why Inuyasha was frowning so deeply when she looked at him again. Miroku was grinning like the cat that got the canary. But that wasn't really anything new, he always had that face when Inuyasha was upset. A strange Ying-Yang the two of them were.

Miroku was still looking at Inuyasha out of the corner of his eye when he leaned his face onto his palm, his elbow resting on the table. "And Koga has left you alone as well, right? Since becoming my woman?"

Inuyasha cringed as did Maten. The two of them looked at one another for a silent moment but it was full of disdain as if sizing one another up. All of that was then turned onto Miroku, still grinning like a fool while two powerful demons glared down at him.

A distraction was needed big time. "So uh… do you guys celebrate Christmas in here?" That did it, all eyes on Kagome in shock before bursting into laughter. All except Shippo who, sadly, just looked confused. "A simple 'no' would suffice." She muttered.

"What's Chriksmas?"

They sobered at that, Shippo's small voice questioning made them all morose, Kagome the most. But then it made her determined, jumping up from her seat and pumping a fist up towards her chest. "I'm going to make Christmas come this year!"

"How? We all know you're 'magical' but unless you got a unicorn hidden up your ass…" Inuyasha started but then stopped and she realized it was because he was now staring at her butt.

Hopping over her chair, she only stumbled a little bit. "I have my ways! Just you wait and see!"

Storming away, she didn't stop until she was standing before the Warden's office door. She hadn't really thought up of a plan at all but Shippo's confused voice kept playing over and over in her head. Christmas was meant to be spent with loved ones. Full of joy and presents and cake and fried chicken… okay so she seriously doubted she could get all those things but it was worth a try.

The guards in the hall had barely noticed her existence so when they suddenly shifted and tensed, she noticed, only to get grabbed hard by her bicep and dragged away from the door. Even without seeing his wild, white hair, she knew who it was. Cause no one else dared to mess with her lately or as much as Inuyasha did.

"Are you NUTS?! Leave it alone, Kagome!"

"Did you see Shippo's face?!"

He stopped now that they were out of earshot of the Warden's door and the few guards nearby. "Yes. It's the same look on all the younger one's faces when you mention things like Christmas, holidays in general, or birthdays. But it ain't worth whatever the Warden is gonna ask you for in return for some shitty decorations and bullshit gifts!"

Bowing her head, she knew he was right. "It's just… not right."

"There's a lot of shit in here that ain't right, Mate."

She giggled a little, even though she was still sad. "You know, we don't share a cell anymore. We aren't cellmates so I'm not your Mate."

"Aren't you?"

Confused, she pulled her eyes from his chiseled chest to his face, finding him completely serious. They were really close, when had they gotten so close? Had they been like this since he stopped dragging her? She hadn't even noticed or cared. Inuyasha's attention was the only attention she ever wanted but it was rare and fleeting. This was the first time they had been alone since he showed her his weakness almost a month ago.

She studied his eyes, watching the golden color of them as they burned like coals in a fire. And he studied hers, dancing, twitching left and right. It wasn't until the pad of his thumb brushed her cheekbone that her heart picked up its pace, galloping inside her chest. He glanced down, right at her heart, telling her he heard it. It didn't deter or stop him, his claws gently scratching her scalp as he dug his fingers into her hair. Wearing it up, as he suggested, he couldn't get very deep. It forced him to place his paw on top of her strands, seeming irritated about it until he began rubbing the shell of her ear with his thumb.

"You are so… " He started but then stopped. "Koga isn't bothering you anymore, is he?"

With his face an inch or so from hers and his warm breath covering her skin as he spoke, the question felt so strange. Given the reason Koga left her alone was thanks to Miroku stroking her ass daily. "Y… yyeah."

"Good." For some reason, that caused him to drop his touch and step away. "Then the plan is working."

He was a foot away when two demons turned onto the hall they had been sharing, looking over the shell shocked Kagome with little interest and continuing on their way. Inuyasha kept on, not looking back with his hands shoved in his pockets. But she swore she saw him shaking.

oOo

Inuyasha was right, she couldn't go to the Warden for something as silly as Christmas decorations. But she could make some gifts.

No one took note of the silly White as she carefully scoured the yard, the early, cold December air not keeping anyone from their time in the open. She was pretty sure Demons weren't bothered by things like temperature. Kagome had to keep moving or freeze to death, which helped with her cover as she looked for anything worthwhile around the yard, the infirmary, even the shitty 'crafts' room that had more cobwebs than a haunted house. She was pretty sure there were some ghosts inside it too.

The few that looked her way didn't seem to care or find it strange that the yard was littered with teeth. It had freaked her out at first but since no one showed any interest when she picked a few up, Kagome had to assume they were shed naturally or something. They weren't very large, not much longer than the Kanine from a human's mouth. Most showed how little dental hygiene was taken seriously, the teeth porous and decayed straight through in places. But being a demon tooth, they all had survived past some damage and were strong as well as pearly white.

Using the odd things she found around; teeth, beads, pretty rocks, and surgical thread, Kagome felt pretty good about her offerings. They weren't anything special but they were better than nothing!

The 'craft' room also had a few scraps of pretty paper she used to wrap her gifts as well as make a handful of paper cranes. Which gave her an idea.

There were far too many children in the place but she was able to gather them all up. One of the benefits of being 'the doctor' she knew all of them when she made them come for a check-up. A few were still angry for the shots she gave them but they needed to be immunized with the runes making them susceptible to disease. The ones that had been inside since before they could remember, or who had an adult to ask for them, got shots. None of them had a parent in here with them and shivered at the thought.

Luckily, there weren't too many otherwise Kagome wouldn't have gotten approval for the drugs. And she would have probably gone into a depressed spiral if there were a lot of children who had never seen the 'outside' before.

She didn't dare think about the ones that weren't lucky enough to make it into this prison, taken by Shikon instead.

Now, surrounded by blue, their eyes were rapt with fascination as she taught them how to make paper cranes. Bright colored paper that matched their bright hair or eyes or skin. One little girl had pretty dark pink skin with beautiful golden hair. The 'craft' room was nearly overflowing with origami paper and she had to assume they used to use it as some kind of therapy for the more violent inmates.

Even with a few funky, Kagome and the children made long strands of cranes that they ran around to hang anywhere they could. If they didn't get ripped down by a Guard or pissy Demon, then she hoped the decorations would stay up year-round.

They really brightened up the place.

Down to her last strand, she slowly approached Inuyasha's cell, everyone stuck inside thanks to the rain outside. He sat on his bed, as usual, book in his hands. She crept up but she knew he was aware of her, his ears flipping back and dipping to his skull. She had to assume he did that to try and hide the small twitch they did, which he failed, the tips dancing ever so slightly as she carefully made it to the open bars.

Taking her eyes off him for a second, she got up on her toes and tied the bright, rainbow-colored strand to the top of his cell bars, making sure to knot it tight for when the door closed later that night.

When she fell back to her heels, there was no shock that his eyes were on her. She had felt them go to her as soon as she tipped up on her toes. They were wide and quivering. "Merry Christmas, Inuyasha."

Amber orbs shot back to the cranes then pushed back to his book. He said nothing and again she wasn't shocked. Nor offended. In the last eight months, she had learned how Inuyasha worked. And she knew exactly how he felt when he said nothing.

He was happy. And that terrified him.

oOo

It was interesting, now that Kagura had a small bump, how the crowds parted for her. It was as if the other Demons were enamored, the life that grew inside Kagura more than just a baby demon. Kagome could see it in their eyes as Kagura passed.

The baby was treasured.

And not just by its parents, Sesshomaru never showed emotion except when around Kagura now. It melted Kagome's heart, watching as Sess protected Kagura from zero threats, sat her down, and either made her eat or comforted her in some manner. Today, it was to rub her shoulders, sitting her in his lap while the others gossiped around the picnic table.

Using her shirt, Kagome had all the gifts she's made tossed into the 'bowl' she created. It made the frigid air waft up her belly and ribs so she was trying to hurry, tossing the crudely wrapped presents to all those who sat at the table. Kagome was glad the creepy teenager had stopped hanging out with Kagura's group, she didn't make her a gift.

It was seconds later that Jakotsu, Kanna, Kagura, and even Sesshomaru were holding up the strands that held one demon tooth and a few pretty beads around it.

"Oooooooh no one has given me jewelry before! Does it usually look this… dull?" Jakotsu wined but Kagome expected that.

Sesshomaru ignored the noise, looked sternly up at her, but that was how he always looked. "This is truly an amazing gift. I'm surprised you could pull this off in here."

He didn't say any more, putting his on quickly and fixing Kagura's on. The other two looked confused but given Sesshomaru's eagerness, they followed suit.

Crossing the yard, she gave Miroku, Shippo, Maten, and Hiten theirs. She put three teeth on Shippos just in case. The rest of the Demons didn't give a care, not receiving a gift. Which was why she felt the fire on the back of her neck, glancing behind to find Koga glowering at her. He couldn't seriously think she would give him anything after all he did to her and her friends?

Inuyasha was nowhere in sight, a usual occurrence as of late, but she wasn't going to give him his gift in public anyway. She understood his angry distance but that didn't mean she wanted his cruelty when she handed him the gift she worked hard on for weeks. Even if it was faked.

He would be stopping by the infirmary in a couple of days anyway, new moon and all.

After they put them on, Kagome insisted they all put the necklace under their shirts. She didn't know who in here knew the significance but if anyone knew it could spell trouble. Sesshomaru already had his crew hide them but not take them off. So he clearly understood and knew the value. He was an old Demon, that much was obvious. Kagome had no clue how many were as old as him in the prison. Or if the Warden was knowledgeable.

More than a gift, her presents were worth the risk in her mind. Especially if they worked as she hoped they did.

oOo

The hot shower had made her finger burn, getting so cold outside from handing out her presents it was a wonder she didn't get frostbite. As much as she hated the idea, Kagome was pretty sure she'd have to wait until Spring before she could go outside again.

It was still a few days away from Christmas but she knew she was going to freeze, going around handing them out. Freetime was her only chance and with everyone still heading outside, she hadn't had a choice. So she timed it with her shower day, planning to warm up immediately after.

Only getting the luxury three times a week, Kagome shared the shower with many other demons. Kanna stood next to her and Kagura was on the other side. The two didn't take as long as she did tonight, enjoying the steaming water more than usual. It warmed her all the way down to her shaking bones.

"I'm exhausted," Kagura moaned, looking over at Kagome, "you okay if I head out first?"

Kagome had no fears. "Of course! I'll see you tomorrow."

A few moments later and Kanna shut off her stream and wrapped a towel around herself. "I'm off," was all the quiet girl said and it was more than usual.

A female guard stood ideal, bored, while the rest either wrapped a little white towel around themselves tight or just walked around nude. Kagome was the former, covering her body from even female eyes but also caging in the residual warmth of the water on her heated skin. A few laughed oddly as they passed her, dressed again and out the door. It was weird, she was completely alone. Even the guard had left already but Kagome wasn't the one they needed to guard. All those that were in need of watch had left already.

She opened her locker and blinked a few times. Then quickly opened the one next to it. And the next. And then next. But they were all empty.

Her clothes were gone.

No one had gone out in White scrubs, she would have noticed that. Someone took them and did something with them. What, she didn't know but in her freaked out haze, she started searching all over the showers and in the lockers. But her clothes or the clothes of anyone else weren't there.

All she had was her towel.

The keys to the infirmary had been in her pocket so they were also missing. As much as she trusted running around all the other demons in a towel, she trusted the guards even less. They would probably take her infirmary keys away for good. Or make her do something terrible to get them to unlock the door. All of her clothes were in there as well. Kagome was well and screwed.

There was really only one choice and she wasn't sure it was all that good. Going to the door, she took a deep breath and the handle in her hand. Then she pulled with all her might and darted out. Not stopping, not even to look at the guards, Kagome moved as fast as her human legs would take her. It didn't help that she was wet and on her bare feet, it made cutting corners difficult as she slipped around on the tile floor. All the warmth she had gained from her shower was wasted, the jail not that warm to begin with and now she was running through it with nothing to speak of on her body.

She passed Demons, all stopping short of what they were doing to look at her. They were shocked. So was she, but she didn't stop. Especially when a few turned from what they were doing and started to follow her. She took a quick and panicked glance behind herself to see a handful of men creeping behind her. With their speed, they could easily catch her, they were just enjoying the chase.

Skidding around the last corner, she pushed her lungs and legs to their limit, grabbing the bars of the cell to swing herself inside. Inuyasha jumped upright and then to his feet, his book falling to the floor. "What the fuck?!"

"Clothes….stolen….shower…..no keys….." She panted.

Kagome wasn't sure Inuyasha could understand or if he was even listening, his eyes glazed over as he stared up and down her body. He shook his head hard and then shuffled towards the cell door. "And you came here?"

"Where else...could I go….?"

"I don't know, Kanna? Kagura? One of your female friends?! Hell, even Jakostu would have been safer!"

She honestly hadn't even considered it. Partly because she didn't know where their cells were other than on the other side of the prison from the showers. But mostly because Inuyasha was the one she trusted most.

Kagome tried to think of a reply, planning on just being honest when the gaggle of men following her appeared at the door. Inuyasha was the only thing between them and her and Kagome suddenly regretted coming here. It put Inuyasha at great risk.

Standing tall, he didn't hesitate to face the crowd, holding his head up high. He only moved if one of them tried to look around him to her, shifting his weight to keep her blocked from sight as much as possible. She stood still, frozen with worry and fear for her 'Mate' as he stood up for her in a very public manner.

"We saw her first." One growled.

"Doesn't fucking matter, cause I got her first," Inuyasha growled back.

Kagome felt like meat, the first time truly understanding how precarious her well being was here. All it took was some missing clothes and she was up for grabs. It was sickening and terrifying all at once.

A different one chuckled, "Then you should hand her over when you're done."

"Sharing is caring," another one mocked.

Stepping back, Inuyasha grabbed his cell door and slammed it shut in an impressive show of strength. It wobbled a little from the abuse, even with the runes in place, Inuyasha made thick iron shudder from his strength.

The group got the message and backed up. But stayed in eyesight, watching. It made her skin crawl.

Inuyasha stepped up to her, towering over Kagome and she simply looked up. Maybe he expected her to back up or cower but she had absolutely no fear of him even as his eyes glowed red in the dim room. Without saying a word, he pulled off his shirt and handed it to her. Kagome tried to take it without fumbling but Inuyasha's naked chest was before her. So close she could feel the heat of his skin on her arms and cheeks.

And he definitely had the body to support his show of strength.

"Put that on and get in the bed." She nodded, carefully getting her arms and head in while dodging the tucked end of her towel when she pulled it over her torso. "Under the sheets and don't come out."

She had the wet towel off and on the floor when she tiptoed to the bed. Inuyasha growled and took deep breaths behind her before she ducked under the sheet as ordered. When she rolled over to look at him, his eyes were still red and on her. He soon turned and stood by the door instead.

Watching his back, she was happy his hair was up on top of his head because his taut muscles were rolling with tension. It made her warm all over. But not enough, the cold bleeding through the walls. Kagome was cold on a regular evening with all her clothes on. Tonight, she was freezing.

It wasn't long until her shivering body had Inuyasha's attention again. "Goddammit." He fussed before turning on his heel and climbing into the bed next to her. "Face the wall!"

She had been watching him, unable to take her eyes off of him. At his harsh tone, she turned and looked at the white-painted cinder blocks instead. As soon as she settled, Inuyasha's arms surrounded her. There was no control, her body so cold she snuggled as deep as possible into his hold.

The lights went out and she knew the rabble after her was long gone. Warm and relaxed, she took in her situation completely. Inuyasha had one arm under her head between the gap of her neck and the mattress. The other hand rested on her belly, splayed fingers making it cover her from her belly button to her ribs. And she was naked, nothing other than Inuyasha's shirt on her skin. The shirt that he never replaced with another, his bare arms and chest pressing into her. It had their arms skin against skin.

All that and she felt nothing but safe, cocooned in the only person she truly and deeply trusted enough to be like this with. And Kagome didn't just mean inside the prison. Inuyasha was easily the only man she trusted in the world.

But he was still tense and she could tell it was more than just the situation that had him upset. She was about to ask, wiggling a little to get more comfortable when he whispered hard in her ear. "Be still!"

Stopping any and all movements, he sighed heavily and dropped a little of his anger. It probably wasn't going to get any better than this. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I know I put you at risk…"

"You're damn right you did. Why the hell did you come here?!"

"Because I…" she hesitated, not sure how he would take what she felt but he had to know it already, "I trust you."

His hold tightened, pressing her harder into his hard body. "I'm still a man dammit." She was very aware of that fact, feeling his manhood press into her backside currently. A very large manhood at that. "Of all the crazy stunts… this has to be the most emasculating thing anyone has ever done to me. You trust me? Great. Do you even see me as a man or just a fucking demon? Cause either one could and wants to do very bad things to you right now and I'm struggling to keep from doing all of it."

A shiver ran up her spine and she was anything but cold. Not with his body pressed to hers and his so-called threats in her ear. "I do think of you as a man…" He scoffed, making her bounce so he then groaned. "I do! Just because I trust you doesn't change that fact…"

"You are naive and stupid, Wench. You shouldn't trust anyone this much!"

Looking down, her human eyes could just make out the shape of his hand as it rested on her stomach. The muscles flexed and jumped with the tiny movements he made, trying to control himself. This was why she trusted him because she knew he wouldn't do a damn thing to her. And even if he did….

"I came to you because I trust you but also… because anything you could do to me would be… wanted."

It took him a second, either out of shock or confusion, but soon the hand on her belly fisted, taking fabric in with it. His claws scratched but didn't break her skin, once again showing the amount of control he possessed.

His head fell to the back of hers hard, pushing and nuzzling at the same time as he cleared away her damp hair and pressed his lips heavily to the back of her neck. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it just as tight as it gripped his shirt on her. A small shift and he had a hand on her shoulder, wrapped around from under her neck, holding her still against him as he continued to layer her neck with kisses. Each was slow and thick, coating her skin with warm wetness. Kagome closed her eyes to it, her spine shaking along with her heart.

Inuyasha made his way back up her neck, his mouth pressing to her lobe and pushing out a hard shiver from her. "This isn't… this isn't what I want for you and me… for us."

She didn't understand but then she did. Releasing her hold on his hand, she waited for him to let her go in return. "I understand."

The hand on her shoulder squeezed hard. "Do you? This is fucked up. So fucked up Kagome! Meeting you like this? When we aren't terrified of one another, we're terrified of what will be done to us!"

"How else would we have ever found one another? I don't believe in fairy tales. I'm not some little girl looking for an asshole on a white horse. I can take care of myself in any situation and I never needed you, Inuyasha…."

"I know that…"

"But I want you." He was silent, and his grip was unchanging. "I want you… as a friend and as more… as someone dear to me. You're a good person, Inuyasha and you deserve more than this life."

Shifting so quickly, she was breathless when Kagome found herself on her back, Inuyasha holding himself over her and his glowing red orbs piercing her. "Why are you saying this?! What are you going to do?!"

She hadn't meant to give herself away but as the days to Kagura's due date slipped away, she was running out of options. Kagome would have no choice if Inuyasha found out beforehand, he would take any means necessary to stop her.

So she reached up, cupping his cheek and he leaned into it, closing his eyes tight. "Nothing. I just think you need to hear it."

He fell back beside her, pulling her in tight to his side again with a heavy sigh. "I should get a Sainthood after this or something."

"You get Sainted after death. How about Knighthood instead?"

He chuckled, pressed a kiss to her temple, and she used his arm and chest as her pillow for the rest of the night. Because, even though friends, it would likely be the only night they had like this ever.

[midnightghostwriter]

me you

↬ summary: a bad breakup sends you reeling - both into despair and the arms of your best friend

↬ genre: fluff / friends to lovers

↬ pairing: jay park x reader

↬ word count: 9.7k

a/n: this��was a request sent to me by the darling @kxxkiemonsterx ! i had such a good time writing this that it, uh, turned out pretty long i’m sorry haha. but thank you for the request dear & i hope it’s everything you wanted ;D

the title comes from san e’s song “me you” which you should totally listen to if you somehow haven’t yet~

For most people, 9:30 on a Friday night meant being out partying, most likely in the company of friends, or using the opportunity to look for a different kind company. It meant being out at some club and slamming drinks until the flashing lights and thrumming bass made your head spin faster than the disco ball over head. For others still, it was date night.

Unless your name was Jay Park.

If that was the case, most Friday nights (that weren’t spent at various events and parties attended in a mostly professional capacity) were spent in one of a myriad of studios mixing, recording, or reviewing new tracks and remixes. When you were the CEO of two different music companies with at least ten people each, your docket for Fridays tended to fill up fairly quickly.

This particular Friday, Jay was holed up in a studio at AOMG, most of the others having cleared out some time ago in the name of sleep or drinks to make up for a long, grueling week of work. Chase had insisted that he tag along, take a much needed break from the tracks they’d been working on for the better part of the last five plus days, but Jay insisted right back that the sooner this was done the sooner they could spend more than just one night celebrating. There hadn’t really been an argument for that, so Chase had left him to it, and taken Loco and the others along for good measure, since the younger guys had a tendency to goof off. Sometimes their enthusiasm made Jay remember what it was like to be their age (not that he was old enough to really be thinking like that), but tonight he’d allow for no distractions.

A mantra like that should’ve meant headphones on, phone on silent, doors locked until he decided everything was perfect. Or that when his phone rang the first time he sent it to voicemail and then put it on do not disturb like he should’ve the first time. And that when it rang for a third time, per the “emergency call” settings he’d put in place, he only spent a few seconds at best on the call to determine whether or not it really was a life threatening situation. But Jay had always had a soft spot where you were concerned, and the moment he heard your voice over the line – rough, tired, and distressed, all things not typical of you – he knew he’d be saving his work and dropping it for the rest of the night.

“Hey Jay. Sorry I’m sure you’re busy, but – “

“Don’t sweat it, I always have time for you.” He didn’t let himself think about how stupid that sounded, instead swiveling away from the computer screen with a frown. “What’s up? You sound awful.”

“Jay I’m sorry, I-I,” you hiccupped and it was then he realized you weren’t sick or anything, but that your voice was scraped raw and tight from crying, “I didn’t know what else to-to do, I’m sorry…”

“Stop apologizing and tell me what’s going on,” he prodded. Silence and he wondered for a second if the line had gone dead, but then, in a voice so small he almost didn’t hear you, you answered,

“It’s… It’s Euntaek. He broke up with me.”

“Wait, what? Didn’t you guys like just celebrate your thousand day anniversary last week? He bought you that fancy Swarovski piece and everything.” You hummed your assent but there was no heart behind it, which only drove home to him how shitty you must be feeling, though you were clearly trying not to show it.

“We did but… I don’t wanna talk about it all right now. But he was supposed to take me home, and now he’s gone, so I’m stranded in Hongdae, and I… really need your help.” You paused again. “If you’re busy I can ask one of the other guys, though. I wouldn’t want to take up too much of your work time. I just panicked after he left and called you first and…”

“Don’t bother, they’re probably all smashed. Stay somewhere safe and I’ll come get you,” Jay ordered, beginning to move around the studio to grab his stuff. Keys, keys, where were his keys…?

“Are you sure?” He finally found them hiding in a jacket that wasn’t the one he’d put on, and shoved the door open.

“Already on my way.”

  Before you could offer any more objections, Jay had hung up. Well, it seemed you’d be getting your rescue after all. Now that your moment of panic had settled somewhat, the reality of the situation descended on you. It was all you could do to wrap your jacket tighter around yourself and lean against the wall outside the club instead of collapsing to the ground like your legs wanted so badly to do.

You had always prided yourself on being fairly strong, emotionally and physically. Things that had your friends worked up or in tears didn’t usually affect you the same way – you had always been a reliable rock in that regard, able to control yourself and not let things get to you so you could keep your cool. But this… this was far outside your usual realm of expertise. Never had you expected to have to deal with a situation like this one, and you were shaken, to say the least.

Eyes squeezing shut, your fingers wrapped tighter around the phone in your hand as you shook your head. No, no, you wouldn’t think about all that right now. It was too much too fast, and you feared that if you dwelled on it too long your head and heart might be so overwhelmed they’d shut down altogether. You just had to wait a bit and Jay would be here and everything would be okay.

It was almost stupid, you thought, that you should get so much comfort from that thought alone. Sure you and Jay had been friends for a while now, and he had always been your source of stability when things went to shit, but… it was a feeling you’d never really had with Euntaek. He’d made you happy once upon a time, made you smile, but nothing about it felt the same as the easy, free-flowing camaraderie you had with Jay. You’d always chalked it up to his own ability to befriend almost anyone, and not given it much contemplation, but now…

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car door at the end of the small side street, and after squinting a bit in the dark you realized it was Jay himself. There was a strange look on his face, like he was trying to decide between being angry and being worried, but it had more or less settled into the latter by the time he reached you. The sight of him made all your earlier anxiety and sadness wash over you again, and within seconds you were struggling to keep your tears from ruining even more of your makeup than they already had. Before your breakdown could draw the attention of the few club patrons gathered outside, he’d looped an arm around your shoulders and was guiding you back down the street.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

He continued muttering assurances as you clung to him, trying not to trip in your heels with your blurred vision. God, you probably looked like such a mess, but you were too tired and distraught to be embarrassed about it with him of all people. Once he was certain you were safely buckled into the passenger seat, he closed the door and moved into the driver’s side. Slumping into the warmth of the seat, you kicked off your shoes so you could hug your knees to your chest. You felt more than saw when Jay reached over and put his hand on your shoulder, and you glanced blearily at him. Though you were wrapped up in your own tumult of emotions, your heart still squeezed a little at the genuine concern written on his face. What did you do to deserve a best friend like him? It was silent for a moment, like he was deciding what to say, but instead he only shifted slightly and brushed some hair out of your face that had been in danger of sticking to your ruined makeup, and tucked it behind your ear.

Why did that simple act make your heart feel so warm and fuzzy all of a sudden? You marked it up as some weird, misplaced idea that the touch was filling some void for affection that Euntaek’s departure had left in you, and didn’t say anything about it. A second later Jay pulled back, taking the car out of park and maneuvering back onto the main road.

“Let’s get you home,” he muttered, and you hummed gratefully.

  You were cognizant enough to get yourself out of the car, and for that Jay was grateful. But apparently not enough so to remember you’d removed your shoes when you got in in the first place, a fact he was very abruptly reminded of when you attempted to stand and a strangled sound escaped you when your feet touched the rain-soaked pavement. He tried not to laugh at the pout on your face as you huddled by the door.

“Why don’t you put your shoes back on, princess? We’re almost there.” You gaze slid to the stilettos on the floor by your seat and you grimaced, which he shouldn’t have found adorable, but did.

“But my feet hurt,” you grumbled, and he marveled at your ability to switch gears from panicked mess to pouty child during the short drive. “I don’t wanna wear them up all those stairs.”

“It’s two flights - two very very short flights - and then you can take them off forever if you want to,” he insisted and you huffed, making it clear just what you thought of the idea. After contemplating for a moment or two if it was worth fighting you on, he decided against it – you’d already been through enough tonight he could tell, even without the full story. He sighed.

“Fine. Pick them up for me at least, okay? Otherwise we’ll both forget about them, and you won’t remember they’re in here until next week.” When you’d hooked the straps around your fingers and adjusted your jacket against the chill, he locked the car. “Alright, gimme your keys.” You gave him a questioning stare. “C’mon, hurry up. It’s cold.” You acquiesced, and then squealed in surprise as he lifted you off the ground.

“J-Jay! What are you- “ He gave you a withering look.

“Be quiet or you’ll wake up everyone, alright? I’m not letting you walk up to your apartment barefoot.” Apparently there was no more to say about it, as he’d already started across the small parking lot to your building, leaving you to wrap your arms around his neck and tuck yourself closer to him so you didn’t go tumbling to the ground. Not that Jay would’ve let that happen, you knew, but you didn’t trust your own luck enough to risk it.

When the two of you reached the door, he shifted slightly so he could unlock it without dropping you on your ass, and stepped quickly inside. Warm air wrapped around you both, chasing away the chill from the night and drawing a happy sigh from you. After securing the lock behind him, Jay helped lower you so your feet could touch the floor, but your exhaustion had already seeped into your bones and gotten the better of you, and you ended up leaning on him more than standing upright on your own. An apology poised itself to exit in a mumble past your lips but he only put an arm around your waist to better support you once he had put his own shoes by the door. There was a question dredged up by the action, one that would ask what exactly his intentions were, but you couldn’t be bothered stringing the words together to voice it, and remained content instead to let him lead you down the hall toward the bathroom.

Cold tile met your feet before your eyes could actually pierce the darkness and see it, and you did your best to ignore the discomforting chill that ran up your body from the sensation. It only lasted a few seconds anyway, chased away by the firm squeeze of your eyes shutting against sudden fluorescence when Jay hit the switch. He mumbled an apology as your tired gaze did its best to adjust, nudging you in the direction of the stretch of counter by the sink.

“Sit here. Where do you keep your makeup stuff?” The question finally opened your mind to the vague notion of guilt that had been pressing itself upon you, and instead of answering your lips twisted in a frown at his back as he looked over the bottles and pots of various beauty products on your shelves.

“Jay, it’s okay. I only asked for a ride, you’ve done your due diligence or whatever. I’ll be okay.” The look he gave you was almost comically skeptical, and not unlike others you had seen from him before. A childish urge to reach out and poke at the crease between his brows reared its head but you squashed it in favor of raising yours right back.

“Will you though? Somehow I think that’s a load of bullshit bravado.” His expression eased, made gentler by a wave of concern that washed over it. You were beginning to feel something like remorse for the amount of times the emotion had appeared on his face tonight because of you. But there was no chance to voice it or argue before he continued. “Just let me help you, aight? Your night has been total shit, and you asked for my help. So just chill. Now, you’ve got makeup wipes right? Where are they? Your face is a total mess.”

The light, teasing edge to the words erased some of your own negative emotions enough to provoke a small smile as you directed him to the shelf in question where a packet of wipes hid behind your normal bottles of remover and face wash. You mostly used them at times when you were far too not-sober to be bothered with a full routine, but you were going to make an exception in favor of not letting him even attempt anything else. Boy might be grace and technique on stage, but he was one of the clumsiest idiots you’d met anywhere else, and you wanted to keep your vision.

You followed directions well enough, closing your eyes when he told you to, doing your best not to fidget as he slowly and carefully cleared away the signs of your meltdown not so long ago. When he had to venture near your eyes, he placed a hand on your hips to keep you steady, and you did your best to ignore the heat of his skin against yours through your dress, or the way your stomach flip-flopped at his closeness whenever your eyes were open. God, just how desperate were you right now? Clearly the alcohol hadn’t fully run its course yet. Or so you’d think, except you hadn’t had a single drink all night.

Breathing was done shallowly and sparsely until he backed away and nodded approvingly, depositing the filthy wipe into your small rubbish bin. He hovered for a second as you made to hop off the counter and you rolled your eyes, waving him away. You were much more lucid now, having somehow regained some of your calm and composure while sitting there, and fully capable of getting down by yourself. At least that was what you told him, and not that you weren’t sure you wanted to find out how your mostly-rational brain would react to that physical contact.

“I’ll just go change really quick,” you told him, and hurried out of the room. Jay watched you go until he heard the bedroom door shut, and figured you’d made it without collapsing into a messy pile in the hall. He believed you, mostly, that you were fine now, but he couldn’t help worrying all the same. He’d never really seen you as shaken up as you had been tonight, and something told him that you weren’t as “okay” as you wanted him to believe, that things weren’t quite settled just yet.

There was no sense in him standing around here while you futzed about your bedroom though, so he wandered his way toward your kitchen, reacquainting himself with the place as he went. It had been a while since the two of you had hung out somewhere that wasn’t a club he was already at, the studio he was holed up in, or in a corner booth some place between the two of you. Life kept you both too busy for things like movie nights or take-out hangouts that normal people did with their friends. Even so, it struck Jay just how lived-in your place looked - decorated with all kinds of touches that just screamed your taste, your likes, your interests. Various papers with notes to yourself, your laptop with a stack of documents that must be from work resting on the dining table, an unfolded blanket thrown haphazardly over the back of the couch to look at least kind of cleaned up. Even your kitchen had a few dishes (already rinsed, he noticed) in the sink, and containers of varying ingredients or miscellaneous items in varying stages of emptiness lined up on the counters and top of the fridge.

It looked like a home, more than just a place to sleep that had your legal name on it like his own. Sure yours lacked the animal inhabitants that made his slightly less spartan (you frequently argued that you couldn’t really spare the time or money for pet maintenance right now), but he could almost see how much time you spent in the place. Somehow, it made him wish he had more time than just an unknown number of minutes to spend here.

Wow, what an incredibly and grossly domestic thought to have.

He shook it off in favor of raiding your cabinets, humming appreciatively when he found a half-bottle of Jack in one and shot glasses in another. He could apologize or buy you more later, he reasoned, as he filled the glasses, downing one on his own and leaving the other waiting patiently on the counter. Feeling restless now, and less like he could also lay siege to your fridge without repercussions, he had the sudden realization that it was taking you an awful long time to change. Even he had his ego enough in check to know it wasn’t because you were agonizing over what might impress him (the two of you had seen each other in sloppy loungewear on multiple occasions by now), so the idea that you had taken more than ten minutes to do anything set off an alarm in the back of his mind that had him assuming the worst and praying for the best.

Shot glass forgotten, he wandered back toward the hallway that led to your still closed bedroom door. Fingers crossed you’d forgive him for being kind of a creep, he took a few steps until he could make out any sort of noise from beyond the faux wood, and what he heard sent his mild concern into anxious overdrive. The sounds you were making resembled something close to choked hiccups mixed with subdued caterwauling, and it set him on edge. Notions about decency and invasion of privacy went out the window as he put his fist to the door in a hurried series of knocks. The sounds cut off with a hiccupping breath and then dissolved into faint sniffling.

“Hey… everything okay in there?” He called when you offered no other reaction to his intrusion. Another bout of sniffles, then your wobbling voice responded,

“Y-yeah, just fine. S-sorry, I’ll be out in a m-minute, okay?”

“You don’t sound fine,” he pointed out rather obviously and a strangled sound - an attempted laugh perhaps? - was your response.

“Seriously, it’s fine. J-just give me a sec…” You trailed off and Jay resolved himself that he would make this up to you tenfold later as he put his hand to the door handle and shoved it open despite your request. He was only mildly surprised when you didn’t react in outrage or irritation, and instead veritably ignored his entrance entirely.

He had been right to guess you hadn’t bothered with more than simple loungewear that should’ve taken you all of three minutes to throw on, and that something else had kept you in here making sounds like a dying cat. You were huddled on your bed, hair in a messy bun and oversized sweatshirt nearly covering up your sleep shorts, surrounded by a mess of other clothes that were distinctly not yours. Or at least he assumed not, given they all looked to be articles meant for someone more of Sunghwa or Kiseok’s build than yours. His grim assumptions were confirmed when he found that you were staring at a photo frame, and though he could only see the pins on the back, he had a feeling it wouldn’t be hard to guess what it held behind the glass front.

The features he’d so delicately helped clear of makeup earlier were stained again, this time with tear tracks and blotchy red, eyes puffy not from rubbing off your eyeliner but from the saltwater that still lingered on their rims and threatened to spill over at any given second. He wasn’t quite sure what had happened, but the damning evidence made it pretty easy to piece together. When you didn’t attempt to throw him out, he crossed the room and sat down next to you.

His guess as to what currently held your attention had been correct: clutched between your bone-white fingers and splashed with your tears was a picture of you and the boy - Jay refused to use the word “man” with someone like him - who had caused this whole mess tonight. You were glued to his side, smiling wide like the cameraperson had just told a hilarious joke, clearly having the time of your life. He vaguely recalled seeing a photo like this on your feeds not that long ago, when you had gone sauntering off on a much-needed vacation while Jay was busy with stuff for the new label. He remembered it crossing his sight after a few drinks one night and being irrationally jealous that you looked so damn happy without him - and had immediately downed more drinks to forget the feeling because who the fuck did he think he was to be having thoughts like that?

“I can’t believe how naive I was,” you whispered after a few moments of silence. “I was so busy being starry-eyed at him I didn’t even see the signs. Or maybe I did and I didn’t want to believe it.” The picture hit the duvet with a dull thwumpf and you wrapped your arms this time around your knees, curling in on yourself as you stared without seeing at the floral patterns beneath the two of you.

“Do you…” The words stumbled haltingly out of Jay’s mouth, hesitant to push you but he could see just how painful holding everything in was becoming. “Do you wanna tell me what happened?” A shaky breath rattled your frame next to him, but you nodded after a moment’s consideration. It was better to get it out, wasn’t it? And he deserved to know just why you were freaking out over this so much more than any of the other breakups you’d gone through.

“Apparently,” you started, voice small, “apparently Euntaek has had another girlfriend. For about three months now.” You studied your feet to avoid seeing the flurry of emotions that twisted Jay’s features, or the way his eyes widened and his hands clenched the blanket to avoid breaking any of your valuables.

“That long?” He finally asked when all other words had failed to come to mind or be anything but expletives. There was a pause after you nodded, and another shaky breath, while he waited for you to continue.

“Tonight was supposed to be his friend’s birthday, and they wanted to go to this club. I had to work a little later so I said I’d meet him there and he said okay. But when… when I showed up…” Your bottom lip slid between your teeth, a desperate attempt to hold it together, to prevent more tears from falling and drowning out your words. “When I got there, he was with this girl I’d seen a few times, but he’d always insisted she was just a friend from work, and she was never around me long enough for me to question it. And she was all over him, with her tongue down his fucking throat…” You were shaking now, a nauseating mixture of rage and sorrow swirling through your insides. It took a few seconds for your tumult to subside enough to register that Jay had started a comforting path across your back with the hand that wasn’t holding for dear life to your blankets.

“I couldn’t even say anything at first, I was too shocked. It wasn’t until he saw me that… We started screaming at each other, right there in the club like some kind of animals - it was mortifying, but I couldn’t think past how upset I was. He tried to say something like he’d meant to break up with me before our anniversary… Then she stepped in and said some shit about how I was being a child and I should leave, but he said no, they’d leave instead. And then he just… told me not to talk to him ever again and left.” Before you could say anything else, something to lighten the mood, to make such a monumental disaster seem a little less destructive, the fresh tears your story had brought to your eyes were falling, and any further words were lost as you broke down again. You didn’t have the presence of mind to object when Jay pulled you from the ball you’d curled into and pressed your face into his shoulder, holding you there as you shook and sobbed, accompanied by the occasional murmur of his voice in your ear.

You couldn’t say how long it took for your newest outburst to dissolve into sniffles and gasps for air, just that when it was over you felt drained, scraped raw. Jay was still tracing circles on your back and shoulders, not saying anything as you finally started to get yourself together. You didn’t realize you’d been clinging to him for dear life until you tried to move your hands and realized the joints were stiff from clutching his shirt. A forced chuckle rasped out of your mouth, followed by a sweep of heat across your face signaling your utter disgust with yourself at the situation.

“I guess I owe you a new shirt,” you tried to joke, but it felt flat even to your ears.

“It’s fine,” he assured, not making any move to push you away as your breathing finally began to even out. “Feel better?” You nodded mutely, taking another shaky deep breath.

“Y-yeah. Thanks. Sorry.” It was all you could manage in the moment to encompass the things you felt about the patience and caring he’d demonstrated ever since you called him a few hours ago. Jeez, had you really been a pathetic mess that long? You sighed and pushed a few stray hairs out of your face. “You, uh… You can let go of me now. I think I’m okay.” Like you’d pressed some sort of release switch, Jay’s hands jerked away from you, his entire being springing away from you at once, leaving you to nearly tumble to the bed in their absence. You stared at him in surprise as his own face tinged the faintest shade of red.

“Sorry!” His eyes were wide, a kid caught with their hands in the cookie jar or browsing a site they shouldn’t be, though you couldn’t fathom why. You’d only meant for him to let you go so you could stretch out your stiff limbs with a walk to the kitchen - you were severely dehydrated and in need of something to help ease your tender heart. You didn’t bother with saying so out loud, instead offering a shake of your head before you were padding out of the room, trying to hide the hint of a smile lingering around your lips.

  It hadn’t taken you long to find the shot of whiskey Jay had left on the counter before he’d found you, and even less time for you to throw it back, refill it, and down another. You weren’t all that eager to get drunk by any means, but you had decided you needed something a little stronger than tea or hot cocoa to take the edge off the prickling emotions in you.

But shots of Jack had turned into three sips of tea and then breaking open a bottle of some red you’d been saving for… something else but decided fuck it, this was more important. In the fashion of a true gentleman, Jay had catered to your request to talk about literally anything please God I need a distraction splendidly until your second glass of wine had you wound down enough to actually join in.

After your fourth, you had reverted to simply listening, humming at the right times and offering infrequent comments, as he told you about the things you’d missed the last few months - the trips between the States and Korea, the overcomplicated insanity of helping manage so many schedules, the long sessions spent in studios making the magic he hoped would help his people succeed. Head against his shoulder and warmth buzzing through your dulled nerves, you found yourself finally approaching a state that might have been peace and comfort.

If Jay was ever bothered by your shift in attention, he said nothing about it. Truth was it didn’t bother him at all. Sure it would’ve been nice to hear about your shitty coworkers (was that one guy still cranky, had your boss said anything about the raise you’d asked for, was the workload still bordering on too much?) or if you were still marathoning your way through seventy plus episodes of that ridiculous Taiwanese drama you’d told him about a while back, but he was content with doing the talking if that was what you wanted. People had told him often enough that he was good at not shutting up.

He’d just finished some story about the A6OVE pop-up store promotion that you had missed when he finally took notice of your slowed breathing and the way your lashes had met your cheeks. He wasn’t sure if you were actually asleep, but you were certainly on your way out if the dangerous tip of your glass toward the floor told him anything. Knowing you would be less than thrilled by a new scarlet stain on your carpet, he removed the glass from between your fingers and set it on the table with a quiet sigh.

The whole time the two of you had been sitting here, he had been doing his best to ignore a crazy stupid notion that he could really get used to this. If he was being honest with himself, he’d imagined doing simple shit like this with you more often than he cared to admit. Even when he was home by himself, he’d thought about sharing his scarce meals with you or the way you’d probably read or something equally mundane while he watched some sporting event you didn’t care about but watched with him anyway. It was something he tried not to think about, tried to push away in an effort to not ruin the friendship you already had, but it had haunted him for most of your relationship.

But then you had started dating Euntaek. And though he could see how happy you were (at first), and boy did he want that for you more than just about anything, he couldn’t help the ugly seeds of jealousy that planted themselves in his heart. Maybe he had been seeing what he wanted, but he hadn’t been all that surprised to hear that Euntaek was cheating on you with some harlot, had thought that just maybe he had seen the signs, but had the awareness to know that saying it without evidence would only hurt you, and that was unacceptable. Even so, he’d had a feeling, one that grew stronger as your one hundred day anniversary turned into your one year and then more, this guy wasn’t good enough for you. You deserved someone who paid attention when you spoke, who didn’t take you places just to distract you from problems between the two of you but because he wanted to share that exotic world with you, someone who actively cared about you, someone just… better.

You deserved him.

The second the thought crossed his mind, he shook it off and drained the rest of his own cup before setting it next to yours, a weary sigh gusting out of him. Here he was, sitting on your couch at past two in the morning, with you asleep or nearly so on his shoulder, and letting a nasty little part of his heart be happy that you had finally ditched Euntaek. It was sick, twisted, and made guilt turn his contentment sour. The irrational fear that you might know what he was thinking ran through him when you shifted, but you settled a moment later when you had situated yourself more comfortably against him. God, what a mess the pair of you were tonight.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, even though there was no way you would offer a reply or any words to assuage his guilt. “You’re hurting and I should just be sorry for that. But I’m sorry for not telling you what an asshole I thought he was. And I’m sorry you had to waste time crying when he’s probably off fucking that hoe - I hope they both get the clap or some shit by the way. But mostly…” He hesitated, reaching out to push some of your hair out of your face. What the fuck was he doing? “Mostly, I’m sorry that I’m so grossly into you that I’m happy you’ve finally left him so I might have a chance to make you happier.” Another sigh and he let his head hit the back of the couch and the hand that had been resting on your head move to the safely friendly zone of your arm. He was maybe a little drunk and definitely rambling a lot, but the words kept coming, like some sort of dam for all the things he wouldn’t normally say had broken.

“You’re gonna wake up in the morning with a pounding headache, and piss out all this alcohol that won’t have helped a damn thing except you’ll maybe be a little less sad for a few weeks. And you won’t even know I said any of this, so what the fuck is the point after all, but I’m sorry and I love you, I guess.”

Silence met his words and Jay groaned, this time launching the back of his skull into the couch with enough force to make himself wince. He really needed to stop letting Hyukwoo convince him to watch sappy dramas - clearly that shit was getting to him. When he couldn’t sit still anymore (and his arm had started to go numb from you leaning against it) he stood as carefully as he could, picked you up for the second time that night, and decided it was time to put some distance between you until the morning, so his heart could catch a damn break.

The morning dawned bleak and gray but with enough dull sunlight to pierce through your blinds and rouse you about as willingly as a rock. Your mouth was cotton thick with the dehydration of too much alcohol consumed the night before, and a dull, pulsing ache behind your eyes reminded you of the same. Sluggish thoughts struggled to place why, exactly, you’d even been drinking when you had left the club before touching a single sip of anything. But recalling the club brought up the exact events that had transpired, the panicked call you’d made, and everything that had happened after. Right, you had Jay to blame for the drinking, then.

Wait. Jay.

Considering your last memories were the two of you on the couch (and a second, more fuzzy memory you were refusing to acknowledge of something he may or may not have said) you were more than a little surprised to realize you were in fact sitting in your bed and not on the aforementioned couch. That had to mean he’d carried you to bed when you’d fallen asleep… But where was he? Not like you’d expected to find him laying next to you or something that would be weird, definitely weird and not something you were the least bit disappointed about for any reason whatsoever. No, it was simply disconcerting to fall asleep next to him and then to find him absent now.

Gathering your fractured consciousness, you slid out of bed and pulled your sweatshirt back on (you could only assume Jay had probably helped you out of it so you wouldn’t overheat while you slept), and shoved your feet into slippers to guard against any morning chill lingering in the house. The place was dead quiet, no signs of any life except yourself present to provide any hints as to where your friend would be. So you went with your last memory, and wandered down the hall toward the lounge.

Sure enough, aside from two glasses holding dark red reminders of your attempts to cope sitting comfortably on the coffee table, you found Jay sprawled somewhat awkwardly on your couch (even for someone whose height wasn’t far off from your own it was barely long enough to fit him), a blanket drawn haphazardly across himself. Though it had to be far from comfortable, the relative peace settled across his features made you loathe to wake him. You couldn’t imagine the poor guy had gotten much sleep lately, especially not with the way you’d taken up his time the night before. So instead of shaking him awake, you rearranged the blanket more securely around his person, patted his cheek, and gathered the glasses to take with you to the kitchen.

You hadn’t had much time to go grocery shopping lately, so your breakfast options were limited, but there was plenty of coffee and its peripherals to get a steaming pot going while you scrounged up some eggs, toast, and fruit. A minimal meal to be sure, but still delicious - you hoped. It was hard to mess up such simple dishes, after all, but when it came to guessing at seasonings and all that you weren’t the best judge and could only hope that it would taste decent.

Doing your best to be quiet while you shuffled about, you hummed to yourself, some song by Jay’s friend-ployee Hoody that you’d heard on the radio the other day. The coffee maker ceased its bubbling chatter to simply keeping the pot warm while you let the eggs finish cooking, and buttered the bread when it popped out of the toaster. You were so preoccupied with your tasks you missed the shuffling sounds from the direction of the couch, or the footsteps preceding the arrival of your houseguest before he was rummaging in your cupboards and startling you bad enough you nearly dropped the knife you’d been using to chop a myriad of fruits onto your feet. He cast a raised eyebrow in your direction but the effect was lost with the way sleep still claimed his features in the form of bleary eyes and unkempt hair. Your heart did that odd twisting thing again, entirely unrelated to the fact he had just scared the daylights out of you.

“Sorry, I just - I didn’t mean to wake you up,” you yammered and he shrugged before extracting two mugs from the cupboard and moving carefully around you to the waiting coffee.

“I think it was less your clattering around in here and more an internal clock thing, but it’s chill.” With practiced hands he divided the coffee between your mugs, then stopped to look at you again. “Cream or sugar?”

“Uh, creamer’s in the fridge, but I’m good on sugar, thanks.” He nodded and went back to fixing up the cups of coffee, while you tried desperately to get your head and heart back on track. You couldn’t say why it was that the incredibly mundane sight of him making coffee for the two of you sent your heart into a sickly sweet overdrive, but it was freaking you out. Maybe it was just weird because you’d never really been in this situation with him before? But that was a weak excuse and you knew it - there was hardly a thing the two of you could do together that would be awkward.

Maybe it was because you were finally… properly paying attention to him? Without the lens of i’m happily not single? It wasn’t like you’d never noticed things about him before - you knew he was attractive but it hadn’t fazed you; you’d seen firsthand that he was thoughtful, caring about other people almost to a fault; his goofiness and sense of humor had rarely failed to make you and your friends smile or laugh outright. You’d seen all those things before when he was just “your best friend Jay Park,” but now…

Now you noticed other things. Like the exact way all the ink he’d filled his skin with - pictures and words he’d insisted held sentimental or powerful meaning to him - followed the lines of his body. Or how careful he was in mixing the creamer into your coffee, like it was the most important thing he’d ever done. You watched as some of his hair, mussed from sleep and lack of a shower, fell into his face and the way he pushed it out of his vision in a move that had been so normal before but now made your cheeks warm. And you had to pretend extra hard not to notice when he turned and caught you staring and, instead of calling you out, smiled at you like this whole situation was the most normal thing.

I’m sorry and I love you, I guess.

Your heart thumped uncomfortably in your chest at the echoed words of what may or may not have been a drunken dream, and suddenly the room seemed way too warm and way too small.

Oh fucking fuckity fuck fuck - were you attracted your best friend?

“You just about done there?” You followed his gaze to the pan of eggs and plate of toast, jumping at the chance to move and do something rather than stand there and stare at him like an idiot.

“Y-yup! Wanna grab plates while I take this to the table?” Without waiting for an actual answer, you grabbed the dishes and darted off, wishing you’d bothered brushing out your hair instead of just fixing your bun so you could hide your burning cheeks.

When you’d left the kitchen, Jay let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair. He had been expecting that things might be weird this morning, but had assumed it would be because of him. The foggy memory of his delirious confession the night before sat on the edge of his consciousness, but he attempted to squash it before he died of embarrassment on the spot. That would be even more suspect than his over-the-top attempts at helping you in the kitchen. Speaking of… he’d probably been spending way too much time panicking over how he should be acting around you. Grateful for the distraction, he rifled in one of your other cupboards to grab plates, piling silverware on top and then carefully grasping the handles of both mugs in his free hand.

At the table, you were very studiously staring at your phone and chewing on one of your sweatshirt strings, the perfect picture of a lazy Saturday morning. The only recognition he got for his appearance at the table was you peeking around your screen at the sound of the china being placed on the table in front of you. When your eyes met, red swept through your features again, and you went back to pretending to be busy. Though he assumed it was nothing personal, Jay couldn’t help being a little bit hurt at your persistent attempts to pretend he wasn’t there.

But clearly you weren’t in the mood to talk about whatever was bothering you, so he let it go for now. Eggs and toast made their way onto his plate, assorted fruit adding a disjointedly cheerful splash of color, and he was content to alternate between bites of food and sips of coffee as he flipped between social media and emails and other inane shit that normally wouldn’t get more than a cursory glance. He’d never been good at handling silence, and several times he considered breaking it with some sort of innocuous, safe topic, but nothing felt right, so he kept his mouth shut.

He was going through his mentions on Twitter when he heard your silverware hit your plate, and an awkward clearing of your throat sounded. Well, the silence was clearly broken now. A glance up from his own screen revealed you had set yours down, but still studied your hands where they rested on the edge of the table rather than looking at him. Rather than push you to speak, he waited as patiently as he could (which wasn’t very) for you to do it yourself, and after a few agonizing moments he was rewarded.

“So,” you began lamely and grimaced, “we need to talk about last night.” If this were a football game, Jay imagined, your words might as well have just tackled him to the ground like a full-sprint defensive lineman with all the force with which air left his lungs. But he could not, absolutely could not, let on that anything was amiss so he cleared his own throat and did his best to look nonchalant. He had no idea if you would be fooled but it was the best he could do on the spot.

“Do we? I already told you I didn’t mind helping you out. Didn’t think we had anything else to talk about.” Instead of reassuring or discouraging you like he’d intended, it seemed you grew even more awkward at his words, beginning to fidget in a way he recognized as a tic for when you couldn’t figure out how to say what was on your mind. He also knew it rarely ended up some kind of easy, breezy conversation.

“It’s… not that. Um- “ Your lip slipped between your teeth again, and if the situation weren’t so tense Jay might have made an offhand, teasing remark about how cute you looked. As it was, he reined himself in long enough to give you a questioning look you barely glanced at.

“Then what is it?” He prodded when silence had threatened to overtake you two again. You sighed heavily.

“When I woke up this morning… I had this memory, only I wasn’t sure if it was a dream or if it actually happened, and it’s been really bothering me so I just, I really really need to know if…” A quiet deep breath, and it was like he could literally see you steeling your nerves against whatever was about to come. “Did… did you…” Oh no. “Did you say you were in love with me?”

I’m sorry and I love you, I guess.

The dead silence that followed was so complete you could hear the slick sound of Jay swallowing nervously, and you focused on the rise and fall of his adam’s apple rather than on his face because you weren’t sure you could take what you would see there.

If you were wrong, and it really had been just a dream, he’d most likely give you that “you’re crazy” look and then everything would become irrevocably more awkward than before. And then what would it say about you, that you had dreamed up something like that? You weren’t sure you could face the possibility that lay at the end of that path either.

If you were right… Well, no, you still didn’t have a solution for that. Would you say something to affirm his feelings? Would you kick him firmly into the friend zone and risk losing him that way? The latter would be the kind thing to do, right, when you weren’t even sure how you yourself felt? After all, you’d just gotten out of a two plus year relationship you’d been fairly certain about until it crumbled beneath your fingers. Could you risk heading down the same path with Jay? But that all begged another, bigger question that made your insides curl in on themselves and your heart knot up in confusion:

Were you properly in love with Jay, or did you just care about him because you needed him as a friend?

It felt like eons before anything happened after your question settled in the air over the remains of breakfast. Eggs and toast alike had gone cold, fruit soggy, coffee all but untouched as you waited for him to say something, anything, that would put this whole thing to bed. Any answer would be better than none, you reasoned, because at least then you’d have some closure and you could think of a plan. You moved your gaze from his neck to his hands, tense and clenched into fists against the dark wood. You’d seen him do it before, when he was nervous or unsure about something, and the sight only made your own anxiety worsen. Then, at long last, he coughed and you almost missed the quiet words that slid from his mouth.

“What?” You inquired with all the intelligence of a goldfish, and he groaned. Curious eyes followed his hands as they moved up to his face, dragging across his features in a gesture of frustration.

“I said,” he muttered into them, “that you’re right. What you think you heard… is what I said.” The seconds your brain needed to process his words, really let them sink in, gave him time to slowly tilt his head back down and lower his hands until they were pressed together in front of him, rather than obscuring his face. When he spoke again, his words were as sure and determined as the look in his eyes that made a swarm of butterflies erupt in your stomach, disturbing your breakfast. “I told you I love you, and I thought you wouldn’t hear it, but that don’t make it any less true.”

“Jay,” you started, then stopped as words struggled to form sentences in your head that would properly convey what you wanted to say, “I… I don’t…” Unfortunately, though he was your best friend he was not a mind reader, and there was really only one way for him to interpret your stuttering. Just like that, the fire in his eyes dimmed out, all the life leaving his features in a heavy sigh. You watched the weight of his resignation at your apparent rejection press into his shoulders, and again as it reached with toxic fingers to pull his lips into a self-deprecating smile.

“Don’t worry. It was just a slip because I was a little drunk, okay? Not worth getting torn up over. Probably just came out weird.” You wanted to believe him, to think it was that easy - that you two could just forget he’d ever said anything at all of any consequence and pretend things were normal again. Yet you knew you couldn’t. Not when his attempt at writing the whole thing off made you so irrationally upset. Or when that led to the question of why the fuck were you even against the idea in the first place, which in turn had you slamming headfirst into the realization that wow, okay, you really were actually, properly and entirely in love with Park Jaebeom. Or, at least, you thought you could be. And you certainly weren’t about to let him pretend like he had never said he might feel that way about you. So you smacked your hands onto the table to get his attention, glad when the action made him twitch and brought his wide eyes to yours.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Nuh uh, you are not just gonna try and sweep this under the rug so we can go on with life like we’re just two best buds again,” you snapped, and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline at the venom in your tone and the way you flopped back into your seat, arms crossed tight about your body.

“What are you saying, then?” He demanded, throwing his hands up in frustration. “That you love me too or that you just don’t think we can be friends because I fucked up a little?” You faltered.

“I- I don’t know! Not about that last part, I’m not shallow enough to ditch you just because of something you said that may or may not alter our friendship as we know it. But I’m… not sure how I feel right now. You’re my best friend, Jay, and you don’t get to just walk away from me whenever you feel like it.” He almost smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“That’s the thing. Accepting that I said that means accepting that I don’t just want to be your friend. I don’t want to stand by and watch you fall in and out of love with ten other guys who treat you like shit, or to be your crash pad every time they let you down. It means knowing I want a chance at you just like them, and that if I get it I’ll take it and run. Are you really okay with that?” Silence stretched between you two for a few beats, and then you sighed and put your cheek on your hand to stare at him for almost the first time all morning - really, actually stare at him. You took a few moments to consider him, everything you knew about him, as objectively as possible, without your “friendship goggles” on so to speak. Knowing what you did, and the way your mind and body reacted to him, could you keep being just friends with him? Is that what you wanted? Or could you allow yourself to feel more strongly, to even attempt to let him in the same way you had Euntaek?

You almost shouldn’t have been surprised the answer was every form of fuck yes you could think of.

“I am. Okay with all that, I mean. In fact…” You hesitated, then reached over to lay your hand on top of his. He seemed surprised but didn’t pull away. “I’d like to offer you that chance, if you want to take it. Because the truth is… I love you, I guess.” He didn’t respond right away to the way you’d echoed his words, instead flipping his hand over under yours so he could run his thumb across your knuckles. The sensation sent a pleasant shiver up your arm and throughout your nerves, and you thought that if that was what touching him would always feel like, you could get used to it.

“You’re not trying to fuck with me, or say some shit to be nice and avoid saying something hard, are you?” The genuine emotion in his voice (and dare you say fear?) made your heart squeeze, and you manifested it in doing the same to where his fingers held yours. He was just as worried as you, you realized, that you might reject him, or, even worse, lead him on. Before you could think too much about it, you shook your head vigorously.

“No fuckery. I… I’m pretty sure I mean it.” The dubious look he gave you made you quick to elaborate. “I just broke up with a guy I’d practically sold my heart to for over two years. Everything is kind of a mess right now, me especially, but… But if you’re willing to wait a bit and stick around, I think it might work out in your favor.” Heart in your throat, you watched him turn over your words. Then with a quickness that surprised you not because he possessed it but because he used it for this purpose, he grasped your other hand and squeezed, leaning toward you over the table.

“Fo’real?” You nodded, pink beginning to trickle into your face at what you had said and the implications of this entire situation, and especially at the way his expression radiated a kind of hope that warmed your heart to melting.

“Fo’real,” you echoed. And then he was grinning like the happiest kid on Earth, and swooping down to press a sweet kiss to the back of both your hands, making your heart flutter in a way that was entirely alien to you.

“I promise you won’t regret it,” he insisted, like he had to make the idea of being with him some kind of sales pitch. You giggled, the sound born out of amusement and adoration for his enthusiasm as opposed to any sort of mirth at his expense. He didn’t need to sell you on anything - you were already fairly certain that it would be one of the best choices of your life to entrust your fragile heart to Jay Park. All you really needed was the time to begin to pick up your broken pieces and start fitting them to his.

And if the way your heart felt a little more full as he pulled you from your chair to press you as close to him as possible was any indicator, you were already off to a great start.

[tellerford13]

MO ASTOR- CHAPTER 29

We don’t own the bikes, brothers, or any “related” Sons of Anarchy, trust us, if we did we wouldn’t have the time to write. No money is being made from our stories. So, please don’t sue. It’d be a fruitless endeavor indeed. That being said, Harley, Journee, and any other newbies are ours, and we don’t share. :Whispers in creepy voice: “My precious.” The universe This reality is a mix of cannon, and our own ideas. We strive to keep the boys cannon, but since we will be shifting around some of the events, that will reflect in our writing and their personalities as well. It’s our goal to provide you with quality fiction, and solid, fleshed out OFC. We appreciate constructive criticism and love LOVE reviews, they are a writers life blood and definitely help encourage us and inspire us. We will be posting on our Tumblr where we’ll have fun pictures from time to time as well. http://tellerford13.tumblr.com We’ll also be taking requests for one shots, preferences or imagines for all things Sons at our other Tumblr, so check it out and send your thoughts!http://tellerford13oneshots.tumblr.com/ And just for fun, we’ve decided to start a Pinterest for the story! So if you want a glimpse at our girls and see into our world, check it out! https://www.pinterest.com/tellerford/

                                                 A/N : Thank you so much for waiting for us guys. I’m sorry it took so long to get out. You know how life can be.  I hope this was worth the wait. More is coming soon.

                                      Mo Astor Chapter 29

Lee

“You receive any strange emails lately?” Journee asks as she peers at me over her burger.

I roll my eyes. “No.”

She narrows her gaze and studies me. I can lie with the best of them, but not to Journee.

“Good.”

“Whatever Juicy did shut him down. I’m guessing he got tired of thinking up new ways to dick with me. Punk ass kids.”

Journee snorts. “Too much time and technology on the hands of the youth these days.”

“Pretty sure your son would know all about that, Ma.”

She sticks her tongue out at me, and I giggle.

“Keep it up, and I’ll find a better use for it.”

We’re posted at the picnic benches outside the clubhouse. Some days we meet up outside of work for lunch, but today we were both feeling lazy, and this way she gets to see her hubby, so she picked up food on her way in.

“He’s a good boy, leave him alone.”

“Spoken like a true little Gemma.”

“You wench.” She tosses a fry at me, and I move dodging it.

“Just calling it like I see it. Don’t worry Ma would be proud.”

“Please, she’s preening over you and Jax finally climbing out of the river of De-nile.”

“We weren’t.” I protest.

“Uh huh. A lie to yourself is still a lie.”

“You’re one to talk,” I mumble.

“Exactly, takes one to know one,” She flashes me a wide grin that gets her out of most things.

“How’s the blowback from Psycho?”

“I don’t know. I’m assuming good because Jax hasn’t said anything. He goes over once a week to check in. They’re civil at least because he doesn’t come home agitated, or worried about the baby. I know her morning sickness has gotten bad. Having a prospect over until she got back on her feet was a wise decision. I’m guessing she liked the company too. In a way, we did take away everything. It’s got to be shitty for her to come around the clubhouse now.”

“Hmmpph. She’d best get used to it.  ‘Cause no way in hell she’s pulling a Mary and keeping that baby away from Jax and its proper family.”

I nod my head in agreement. We both know the importance of family.  “I’ll never let that happen.”

“Wendy would go missing first,” Journee agrees.

“So bloodthirsty.”

She grins. “Nah. Just putting it on the table. So, did he move in yet?”

I pop a fry in my mouth and shake my head. “Not yet.”

“You want me to kick his ass?”

“It’s not him. It’s me. I’m just. This is all moving so fast. I’m not ready to give up that last piece of my independence.”

“Lord,” Journee huffs. “Please tell me you did not turn him down.”

“No. Nothing like that, he hasn’t asked yet. I think he’s waiting because he knows I’m not ready yet.”

“Of course he does. I don’t think you give him enough credit when it comes to you, Lee. You’ve always been different from anyone else. He gets you, and believe me when I say he catalogs your every move and stores it away in that big ass brain of his. This is him earning the right to have you. I’m all for that. He played the field and lived a self-revolving life for a long ass time. But don’t let it go too far. It’ll build a wedge. He needs to know you’re just as invested and ready to make concessions to make this work. Jaxy has never been the type to do anything slow. This hesitation is all for you.”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I know.”

She gives a nod, and we let the subject drop. She’s got a precarious place, standing up for both of us against the other. I don’t know how she keeps the balance. Perhaps because she loves us both so fully.  Where he’s impulsive, I’m cautious, it’s led to friction before, but now we have a tentative waiting place. I see his dedication daily. It’s in the way he checks in on me during the day, shows affection without worrying about who's around, and makes it clear to the Crows he’s off limits. That’s new. With Wendy, they always knew there was a chance.

It’s changed the way I viewed him. I knew the boy, but this is Jax, the man, and the growth and maturation look damn good on him.

I peer over to the garage and bite my bottom lip as I watch him work on a car. He’s sexy, but it’s more than that, he’s comfort and protection, and L. My throat clogs up.

“Oh my God, I’m fucked.”

“What?”

I turn my attention back to Journee. “I think I’m in love with Jackson Teller.”

She throws back her head and lets out a full-bellied laugh that draws attention to us.

“Shut up,” I mumble.

“I can’t. I can’t help it.” She clutches her stomach. “To be so damn smart you are sure stupid when it comes to him.”

“What?”

“Girl you’ve been in love a long time. Both of you. It was so evident.”

“That’s not true,” I say.

“I’ll say this. It was past like.”

“What’s so funny?” Jax shouts from the entrance of the garage. Journee lapses into another fit and I shake my head.

“Your sister is loca.”

“Ain’t nothing new there,” Jax says as he shakes his head with a smile.

I can’t help the smile that slides across my face in response. With anyone else, I would begin to panic. I like to stay on top of my emotions. It keeps me from getting too attached which leads to being hurt down the road. For once, I’m just… excited. Is this what it feels like to be a normal woman in love? There’s no shadow of the past looming over me. I know without a doubt Jax will never be my father, and he has an army lined up to kick his ass if he steps out of line. Not that I can’t do it myself, but it speaks to his commitment.

Little by little the bastard has won me over. I shake my head and give a laugh. He’s a Teller, what else did I expect?

***

I’m watching HGTV as I fold clothes. Downtime is a blessing I never take for granted. Between keeping up with the upper crust of charming, cooking books at the shop, and being called on for God knows what else the club needs at a moment’s notice, I’m short on downtime. It’s mindless work as I make piles on the couch to put away while I decide on my next home project. A commercial break comes on, and I turn toward the pile and freeze. Boxers and white t-shirts are piled up just as high as my bras and panties. When had he brought over so many things?

I tilt my head to the side. We might not be talking about things, but they’re happening organically. I like having someone to come home to. Kick loved the road and the club more than he could ever love me. Jax is a strange combination of family man and biker. He’ll do whatever the club requires, but he’s never forgotten his family; blood and otherwise. It’s the one thing keeping me from running for the hills. I learned things that seem too good to be true generally are. Even with Kick, it fell apart right under my nose. I was thinking about marriage and babies while he found my input so insignificant he went Nomad without checking in with me first.

The relationships before him were casual, and I had to work up to that. My Father devastated me in more ways than one, and in another way, so did Gemma’s grief. She and JT had something special. She lit up around him, and he treated her like gold. Losing Tommy put a real hurting on them, and his death changed Gemma. Seeing the power, you give with your heart made me want to steer clear. Yet here I am wading into deep, permanent waters. Jax and I can never go back to the way we were. It’s not in either of us. So we make this work or risk fucking with dynamics that have been set in stone for ages.

I ignore the voice inside me that tells me I’m making a mistake. That’s the remnants of a broken little girl who needed her father. I’m a full grown woman who knows better. All this time Journee has been right. He’s been right in front of me, the perfect blend of lover and fighter.  A man I can trust with my entire heart, who knows me inside and out. There’s no explaining my past, or the rules of this life because he’s been there for everything. Warmth flows through my body.

The sound of a motorcycle coming down the driveway makes me smile. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear.

“Honey I’m home.”

I roll my eyes. People would be stunned by his silliness. “I’m in the living room, Ricky.”

He comes around the corner and grins.

“I like this view.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“You doing my laundry.”

I grab a handful of whites, and he dodges.

“I didn’t mean it like that?!”

“Right.”

“I like this domestic thing we’re doing, Lee.”

He walks over and sinks down on the couch beside me.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah?” He nods and gives me the bashful boyish smile that’s as rare as a unicorn. “I want to do more of this.”

“You offering to take out the trash and do the dishes when I cook?” I ask keeping things light while I fish for more information. The last thing I want to do is read too far into this.

“If that’s what you want me to do.”

I blink. “You’re serious.”

“Sure am, darling. I know we’re not rushing into anything, but I like what we have going. Don’t you?”

I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and peer up at him through my lashes. “I do.”

“Good.” He cups my face and pulls my mouth to his. Silence falls. He teases my lips with his tongue, and I suck it into my mouth. He moans, tilting his head as he fists my hair and takes over the lip-lock.

We surface for air breathing heavily.

“I think I need to thank you properly for all your hard work today.”

“Is that right?” I ask huskily.

“Mmmhmm.”  He bites my bottom lip. I groan, and he nibbles his way down my neck, tickling my skin with his beard as he sucks on my skin.

I shiver.

“Jax,” I whimper as I gently push him away. “I have meetings this week.”

“Good. They’ll realize you’re taken.”

I giggle. “Jax,” I say firmer.

He nips my skin and moves from the couch onto his knees in front of me.

“I’ll just have to find other things to mark then.” He pushes my dress up around my hips and strokes his thumb down the seam of my panties. “Already wet for me? Naughty little Lee.”

I give a throaty laugh. “You know exactly what you do to me.”

“Damn straight. Life those hips up.”  He hooks his thumbs under the sides of my underwear, and I help him ease the scrap of red lace down my body and over my heels. He spreads my thighs wide and licks his lips. A streak of desire runs through my body. His eyes are dark with desire, and his thumb is circling my clit, quickening the pulse in my core.

“So damn pretty.” He licks a path up my slick core and dives in, a man starved. I groan as I bury my fingers in his long hair and move with him. He’s an artist with his tongue, stroking, swirling, and penetrating me until I cry out. I lose track of the times I come as the world becomes a haze of pleasure and roughly whispered encouragement.

“I got to be inside you, Lee.”

I struggle to focus. “So be inside.”

He’s a ninja, stealthy and swift as he undoes his belt, lowers his pants, and places me in his lap.  I grip his firm shoulders as I lower onto his granite cock. I tilt my head back, moaning as he fills me to the brim.

“I need to see those blues.”

Our gazes lock and I lift up and slam down. We both cry out as he grips my hips helping me keep the frenzied rhythm as he goes deeper with every stroke. I swear I can feel him in my chest as we ride out the storm we’ve built. I flex around him as he pushes me to the edge. My breath comes in small puffs and my body trembles. Two more pumps and I’m gone, screaming his name. He follows me over, filling me with his heat as I collapse on his chest, my face in the curve of his neck. He smells like sandalwood, soap, and leather with a hint of oil. It’s a scent I’ve begun to associate with home.

“You know, I did three loads today,” I whisper.

He laughs. “Oh yeah? Guess we need round two then.”

I pull back and lose myself in the bright blue of his dancing eyes. This is exactly where both need to be right now.

***

“You okay, baby?” Jax rasps as he nuzzles my neck.

“Yes, but now I’m starving.”

He laughs. “Taco Tuesday?”

“You cooking, Teller?” I ask glancing over my shoulder.

“Haven’t you heard of Teller’s Taco Tuesday?”

I laugh. “No, but I like the sound of it.”

“Good.” He kisses my shoulder. “Take your time. I’ll get everything going in the kitchen.”

He slips from the bed, and I admire his firm back and ass. “You should balance out all those boxers and undershirts with more pants and shirts,” I say taking a leap of faith.

He pauses in the doorway and gives me a smile that would rival the sun. “I’ll be sure to do that this week.”