#like. there's def a difference btwn Just reading things and then Seeing the things with ur own eyes. cool

[euclydya]

hhey so that failed authority check w the hardies & kim's gun. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. h. hey. holy shit. hey. hey. h

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[destinyc1020]

Besides her book club, which I honestly really enjoy and she seems to articulate herself well when it comes to books/interview questions, Kaia has always seemed her age to me (thats not a bad thing though). She seems like a smart and nice 22 year old but just as a bystander, i dont get how she used to call herself as a "old soul" (and find it cringy when people refer to themselves as that). She seems naive when it comes to relationships and how Hollywood works (prob moreso do to do with her being an nepo baby) but she can always learn from that and she seems like the type who is open to improving. I think traveling, like how shes doing as a model, can def help expand your mind but it doesnt necessarily make you more mature. 22 is young for an engagement but its just a lot for a 2 year relationship

Yea! I like that she loves books....I have a love of reading myself! (When I even have time to engage in it 😄) But yea, her mom was a smart cookie, so it seems like Kaia takes after her mom.

But you're right... there's a very big difference btwn being book smart, vs street smart, and also having MATURITY.

I personally don't see anything wrong with the "old soul" title? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Some people really are old souls lol! And there's nothing wrong with that. 😊

But no, she doesn't strike me as that either. I think that's just smthg some people say when they like to date and hang out with older people all the time, but mentally and emotionally, you are STILL a 22 year old, no matter how you try to slice it.

Kaia seems like a sweet girl, but she has been raised in privilege her whole entire life, so while she may have a lot of traveling experiences, a part of her is still very sheltered (imo) from most things. Meanwhile, Austin came from some struggle and humble beginnings lol.... and probably has a very different outlook on life just in general because of everything he's been through in life... I'm sure opposites attract... so I GET it. Trust me.

But yea, 22 is quite young for an engagement imo.... Imo, Kaia will probably go on to date (and kiss) many more men (and women) in her lifetime. For some reason, I'm not seeing her settling down anytime soon? 🤷🏾‍♀️

But hey, didn't her mom Cindy marry a much OLDER Richard Gere when she was in her 20s? They didn't last long I don't think lol, but yea I think Cindy married older Richard Gere before getting with Rande Gerber.

And didn't Cindy also try her hand at acting in films lol?

Maybe Kaia is just trying to follow in her mother's footsteps lol 🤭

[derangedthots]

Hi again! I’m sorry if you’re like annoyed with me at this point but I’ve just reread the second chapter of courting and realized that Aemond’s scent was never mentioned other than a brief breeze of Jasmine? (And blood obviously, he needs to control his anger soon, Jace won’t let that fly for long)

and also I was like wondering between them who’d be the jealous one once they get together? Cause we know that Aemond has issues and how he hates how everyone is like around Jace all the time but does that get better after they end up together or does Jace end up being the possessive jealous type? I kinda hope it is him? Aemond would love it.

I hope it’s not too spoilery but a part of me thinks his scent is at least? Keeping everyone on their toes about it until he does and it’s something so soft and soothing I think contrasting the bloody smell of his anger. I’m gonna have ti go back and read the first part to see what Alicent and Viserys smell to narrow it down now 😂

If you couldn’t tell how obsessed I am about this story yet, I’m so sorry. It’s only gonna get worse as I reread it to tide myself over until the 3rd Ch 😅 so close to reciting the whole thing by memory

Anyways I hope your days are going good!! 🥰

nooo i could never be annoyed i promise, it makes me really happy to see other people as passionate abt this story as i am. it's like the greatest sense of achievement and motivation for me don't worry♥️♥️

aemond's scent oof yes i've been skirting around that very intentionally but you're on the right track with the soft and soothing thing (if only he would be honest+stay calm enough to his natural pheromones come through, aemond pls🥲��🏼)

as for who's the jealous/possessive type btwn them, personally i think they both are but in different ways? like aemond is the more immediately reactive of the two but when stuff starts bothering jace ooo baby boy WILL make it known(we do have to remember who raised him😭) and let's just say both of them are enthusiastic with their reminders. future-wise, i feel like the worst of the jealousy evens out on aemond's side bc yay for maturity so when he does get jealous it's just for shallow reasons and never bc he actually thinks jace would ever betray him like it. similarly, jace trusts aemond too much to really doubt him like that once they've worked through all their stuff so when he gets jealous it's also for petty reasons and not anything srs (but the 'makeup' sex is kinda bomb LMAO)

i too pretty much had the whole thing memorized while i was writing it so twinsies😂 but ahhh if you notice any inconsistencies i tried to catch them all - i def missed some tho - and i've been slowly doing more thorough edits every day so apologies ahead of time if a few things seem off for now😅 (oh but all the major stuff is already there so no worries it's just tiny details/grammatical errors)

thank you and i hope your days are going good too!! take care of yourself♥️♥️♥️

[blvenote]

hi yumi!!! my thoughts from the chapter r below the cut as always <3 IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTERS THO WE LOVE A GOOD HONGJOONG INTRODUCTION

• WEEENDYYYYY IN THE HOUSE!! also the pigeons r me watching yn get ready like she's the roast beef salting herself to be served on a platter

• ^ because political figures dont like admitting that they're corrupt, and/or that they got help :) and yk... ateez prob does a lot of... unsavory things behind the curtain that normal people disagree w

• wendy sus as hell (in the best way possible lol), but i like how she dodged that question so obviously HAHA

• i think dysfunctional family relationships r so interesting; i love writing them and i love reading abt them ofc as well. the thing u wrote abt how maybe his humanity awakened when he thought abt his children is so interesting too. like where do these awful people draw the line? their own flesh and blood? is pretending they never existed/hiding them away better than killing them altogether?

• LMAO KIHYUN AND YN W THE CURTAINS IS LITERALLY MY MOM AND ME 💀💀💀 whenever im home, i always start pulling open the curtains to make it brighter and my mom hisses like she's a vampire... sheesh

• hmmm the contrast and nuance of /types/ of gangs on the streets here is interesting too; like the organized crime groups are different depending on what they did during the war

• I LOVE LIQUOR LORE I HOPE WE GET TO HEAR ABT BLACK SHADOW'S HISTORY

• "could he be holding a scary title as well or was it something worse?" i love that titles are never the "something worse" cuz a criminal is the best when u don't know they're a criminal

• "lieut. yunho is FORGIVING?" im sorry i laughed 😭 i read that like yns eyes went wide like u gotta be shitting me yeo, if ur gonna lie at least try to make it sound accurate 😭 BUT IIIINTERESTING HMMMM why would yunho be the most forgiving? he's just a soft boyo underneath all that lanky-limbed scariness 😔💔

• also where is mingi and jongho and wooyo, we havent introduced them yet right 😭

• ah i love tsundere jihoon . hard, stale rice on the outside, fluffy warm rice on the inside

• YUMI UR BIAS IS SHOWING W THOSE YUNHO DESCRIPTIONS BAHAHHAHA

• I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BETRAYED BY BOTH BLOOD AND WATER ??? OOOOOOO THAT LINE HITS SO GOOD OMG I NEED TO BORROW THIS WHAT

• im tweaking after that last part of the meeting WHAT. like im sputtering like a boiling teapot WHAT we're dancing a tango here and i love it

• hints at the possibility of having known each other before during the war????? i like the smell of this easter egg 😌 love the hints of further backstory slowly coming in to fill in the gaps!! also jaemin is a menace as usual, wbk

• HES LIKE A STRAY CAT FIDNFKDNDKDN IM GONNA CRY LMFAO

• pledis manufacturers??? bites lip more new characters for the ensemble!! very fun

• i Iike the pointing to and connecting of details during seonghwa and yns convo, the finanical aid to the glance at the pearl ring — both r quire observant, which ig is an essential skill to survive in this business (one wrong move can result in ur life ruined) and ive def mentioned this before but THE POLITICAL INTRIGUE!!! the details like the sirens rebel party and ateez-mx pharma being on the "same side" r so good and add so much to the immersiveness

• ODDLY FAMILIAR??? kim hongjoong i see u... i am connecting the dots... also i love that yn gasps at his appearance and we both agree that he is certified yummy

• awh i like how youve developed san and yns relationship to be far more casual now that they arent like directly a boss-employee kind of dynamic, its a nice contrast to have this convo w san in the middle of all the office tension 0_0

• OKAAAAAAY i kind of enjoyed the fencing match btwn joong and yn, tho it was mostly joong making the parries, but yn did have a good handle w that strictland tip kdngldnfk and at least joong isnt an asshole enpugh to completely ignore her warnings. truly i went into this chapter believing he was going to be an asshole AND stupid 💀 BUT CONTACTING THE RV SPIES?? UHHHH NEWSFLASH SHE LITERALLY LIVES W ONE

overall, very VERY intriguing chapter!! i loved the subtle tension that was present throughout the entire chapter, like even tho there wasn't any action like last chapter, i was def still on the edge of my seat. im so excited to see how the plot continues to unfold in the next chapters :')))

The Leaders | Chapter II

"this is the underworld that no one escapes from."

masterlist

ot8!ateez x f!reader, mafia au

chapter warnings: drinking, smoking, illegal businesses, mentions of gangs, war/military and weapons, hongjoong is the designated asshole in this chapter

chapter wc: 10.9k

chapter synopsis: you learn more about ateez from your housemate, wendy, and from kihyun of mx pharmaceuticals who is also the crescent’s business partner. you get familiar with your new job at the crescent company’s main office and learn about their deal with secretary park. wanting to stop them from that harmful deal, you finally speak up only for the boss, hongjoong, to remind you that you are just a bookkeeper. 

prev chapter recap: an attack on the crescent bar prompts you, the bookkeeper of the crescent bar, to carry out yeosang’s order and flee with the contents of the safe. however, you have discovered a secret package which leads you to a confrontation with the underboss, park seonghwa, who has no choice but to kill you. to save yourself, you reveal that you possess some information about the elites that could be useful to them, and that you are willing to exchange this information for your life. that lands you a job at the crescent company’s main office and you have a rocky first day, getting to know the ins-and-outs of your new workplace and colleagues.

For the beginning of a new chapter of your life, which could take a very sinister turn, it sure was awfully sunny today, the pigeons on your window sill taking great joy in the way you would pause in the middle of getting ready and reconsider all your life choices so far. Their cheerful chirps were starting to annoy you and you couldn’t help but shoot deathly glares in their direction. 

It was your first official work day as the bookkeeper in the main office of the Crescent Company, and you were done getting ready– as ready as you could be with your heart threatening to burst out of your chest. It didn’t help that when you exited your room, you immediately had your housemate’s attention who let out a dramatic whistle at the sight of you.

“Woah. That’s quite a formal outfit for the bar,” Wendy said, stopping in the middle of stirring the pot, the fragrant scent of rosemary and chicken broth filling your nostrils. “Also… why are you still home?”

You turned to the full-length mirror in the living room, inspecting your outfit for the day– a pleated navy blue skirt that reached mid-calves paired with a blue tweed jacket, your feet clad in ivory kitten heels. Just the right outfit to make good first impressions, yet it was a struggle to ignore the urge to go back to your closet and restart the lengthy process of choosing another outfit.

“Uh…” you took a deep breath while tucking the stray strands of your hair back in the half-tied hairdo, bracing yourself for her reaction. “I may have gotten a new job at the Crescent Company.”

The room fell awfully silent and you turned to Wendy, finding her deadpan staring at you.

Odd.

“Something wrong?” You frowned in confusion. 

“The Crescent Company?” Wendy repeated and you nodded. It was strange, the soberness in her tone, when you were expecting enthusiastic theatrical reactions from her. “When?”

“Literally yesterday,” you turned your full attention to her, wondering if she was cross with you for not letting her know earlier. “I start working officially from today.”

“How did you get this job?” Wendy asked, finally doing something else other than assessing your form. She turned the stove off, setting the pot on the table where you joined her for breakfast.

“Well… one thing led to another. Some gang attacked the bar two nights ago and when I carried out my instructions– which were to get the contents of the safe and run– they decided… that I am good at my job and would do better in some other environment.”

“I heard about the attack, yes,” Wendy said, munching on a piece of bread. “But I thought it was a fight outside the bar, not an attack inside. Is that how you got these tiny scratches all over you?” You pursed your lips in answer and Wendy continued. “Are you sure this is the right job for you? Because let’s be real– we all know who Ateez is. You should be avoiding that gang– didn’t you want to lay low?”

Ateez. Known throughout all the eight sectors of Eden and its capital, the gang formed after the Battle of the Eight Hills and layed a vital role in the rebuilding of Eden afterwards. Really, you wondered if they had done so much for Eden, why were they feared and labelled as a criminal organisation?

“I am laying low,” you sipped the broth as you said, “It’s just an office job– paperwork.”

“I don’t know, Luna,” she said, clearly worried. “I’m not sure about this.”

“Do you know something you’re not telling me?” You asked but Wendy kept a straight face which meant there was something. “In fact… refresh my memory a little since I wasn’t here when Ateez was at the peak of their career, but who is Ateez? What do they really do?”

Wendy took a deep breath as if contemplating opening her pandora of secrets for you but then she checked her wristwatch to your utter disappointment. “Next time or else we’ll both be late. Just… stay safe, will you?”

“Oh, I will. I keep the gun in my purse, you know,” you smirked and Wendy finally relaxed, smiling back. “See you tonight if you aren’t snoring by that time– my shift ends at the strike of midnight.”

“Heavens, that’s late,” Wendy winced. “What are you doing up so early then? You should have slept some more.”

You should have, but you had a little stop to make before you clocked in at midday at your workplace– the stop being at the office of MX Pharmaceuticals located in the heart of Sector 1 with all the other businesses and offices. It was only the Crescent Office which was situated right outside that hotspot, and you were starting to think that it was a calculated move on their part. With their status, they could be situated in the slums and still be flourishing– the leaders of Sector 1.

It was a bit strange to walk the streets of your block and not allow your muscle memory to take you in the direction of the Crescent Bar. It felt alleviating, even, to not cross the old lady on the pavement selling crocheted goods to make a living. Somehow, she always made you feel guilty about having the privilege of connections. You could very well have been sitting there at the corner of the road instead of her, selling your paintings or embroideries if Kihyun hadn’t helped you land a job when you came back to Eden from Wonderland just a few years ago.

Because your father always made sure you would never be in the spotlight. There was a reason he basically shipped you to Wonderland– though you often wondered if that was justification enough. He claimed that you could study more if you wished to while you looked after your aunt but really… you knew that he wanted to get rid of you because you found out his dark, dirty secrets– things you were never supposed to find out. It was a shame he couldn’t kill his own daughter and bury those secrets along with her. Maybe his humanity awakened when he thought about his children. 

You could spot the MX Office when you took a turn left into the busy, bustling street with corporate slaves ready to sign in for their daily dose of torture. To your demise, you were blending right in. You walked towards the office, which was a brick-coloured building just like the rest of the offices in this street. The guard at the front door recognised you and nodded in greeting, as did the receptionist and a few employees, aware that you had some sort of a relationship with their boss, though no one dared to ask the nature of it.

The boss, Kihyun, was a respectable figure in all of Eden as a powerful businessman and a former gang member. Each connection he made was for a reason, but you were not just a connection. You respected each other far too much to refer to each other as just a ‘connection’. 

You were being accompanied to Kihyun’s room when on the stairs, you encountered Hyungwon.

“Miss Jeon– what brings you here?” He asked. It had been a while since you saw the manager of MX Pharmaceuticals. He was usually found at one of the labs or warehouses that MX owned. “Good to see you.”

“Hope you’ve been well,” you smiled. “I’m here to see Kihyun.”

Hyungwon nodded at the assistant who left and you followed Hyungwon upstairs. “Kihyun just arrived. How has it been?”

“I’m doing good. I got a new job so I was going to tell him about that and discuss a few things.”

“Oh, that’s nice to hear,” Hyungwon knocked at Kihyun’s door before opening it for you. “I’ll send some tea. And you know that if you need anything, we’re here, right?”

You nodded, smiling earnestly at his reminder. “Thank you. Have a good day.”

You entered Kihyun’s room, closing the door behind you. His room was as neat as ever with a variety of indoor plants lining the huge windows that provided a view of Maddox Street. You walked past that window, drawing the cerulean curtains away and Kihyun tsk-ed at you.

“You’re back at it, eh?”

“You need someone who will pull the curtains open every day. I can’t keep doing that for you,” you grinned, joining him at his desk. He was clad in a navy button-down shirt, his hair combed back. “How have you been?”

He spread his arms in answer. “Right in front of you. As good as ever. But I’ve heard you are doing better lately.”

“Heard the news already?” You shook your head. “Once I find your informant, I’m gonna give them an earful.”

“We’re the Crescent’s business partners. I should know the happenings,” Kihyun said, waiting for the assistant to leave the tea for you before continuing. “Tell me… how did it happen?”

“Let’s say I passed a trust test,” you said, adding a sugar in your tea and two in his, just as he liked. “I’m the Crescent’s bookkeeper now.”

“That must not have been easy.”

“Actually, yes,” you took a sip of the black tea. “I almost got killed. I had to win their favour.”

“And how did you do that?” Kihyun frowned.

“I played a few cards,” you admitted and he groaned in disbelief. “It was that or I die.”

“They would not have killed you–”

“They knew we were acquainted, and they were ready to kill me,” you interjected. “I only told them that I’m aware of Assemblyman General Wi’s artefact gallery.”

“Luna,” Kihyun leaned forward, clasping his hands. “You know the game you are playing right now is a dangerous one–”

“I know that I have to keep my identity hidden, and I’m sure they only know what’s on the documents–”

“Let me finish,” Kihyun said in a low voice and you slumped back. “It’s not just about your identity. You know who they are, don’t you? Ateez? They were once a gang, and they always play dirty.”

“So were you, Kihyun,” you reminded him. “Back in your early days, before my father took you under his wing.”

Kihyun clenched his jaw– he did not need to be reminded of his ugly past. “We were not children of war when we were a gang, Luna. The Crescents– Ateez– they are children of war. They served the army when they should have been fooling around with other kids their age or studying. A nineteen year old Kim Hongjoong became a well-known military strategist in the Battle of the Eight Hills. Another nineteen year old Park Seonghwa became a sniper and a medic– a god awful combination, don’t you think? And an eighteen year old Jeong Yunho became an honoured lieutenant colonel, for heaven’s sake. Those are the people you have involved yourself with.”

That was the first time you heard about their achievements during the war and you realised with a creeping dread that Kihyun might be right about this.

“Us? We were just a street gang, Luna. We were kids who rebelled, who got lucky because your father, a politician, saw potential in us and hired us as his informants. Ateez are different, and it would do you better if you stay aware of them.”

You took a deep breath. “Do you think they will dig into my past?”

“I can’t promise they won’t,” Kihyun relaxed, finally smiling and drinking his tea. “But I’ll see if I can do something. Just make sure to stay in the shadows.”

“Until it’s time,” you reminded him.

His expressions didn’t change. “Still conjuring up revenge plans?”

“You know how stubborn I am,” you traced the gold outline on the cup. “I cannot forgive my father for taking my identity and shipping me to Wonderland as if I meant nothing to him.”

“I’m sure you mean something to him. You are his daughter, after all.”

“I’m sure I don’t, and I don’t need him,” you said, looking at the boss of MX. “You are my family if I ever had one, Kihyun. I am in your debt for everything that you have done for me.”

“Nonsense,” he waved his hand and you stifled a smile at the way he always got a little shy when you called him family or brother. “You don’t owe me anything. I would have done that for anyone.”

“You risked your business and your life for me. You don’t do that for just anyone,” you concluded and he smiled in answer. It was a truth that he could not deny. “You can call it whatever you want, but let me feel about it however I want too.”

“I can see how you might have talked them out of killing you, you stubborn brat,” Kihyun said, laughing. He stared into the distance, taking a few moments to think. “I heard you will be answering to Park Seonghwa and Jeong Yunho. That worries me.”

“It is just work,” you told him, though you were wholly aware that it was not just work. “You don’t need to worry too much.”

After a busy midday shift at the Crescent Office with Eunha and Jihoon, you decided to pay a visit to the Crescent Bar– you were free for the rest of the afternoon and could squeeze in a lunch with your friends. Plus, you were not sure that you could do the night shift without some liquid courage in your system. 

The bar was as lively as it could be during day hours, with people popping in from work to get a drink or a meal. The employees– your old coworkers– warmly welcomed you and you went to sit at the counter with Eunbi and Jeonghan, just like the old times.

“How has it been without me?” You teased Eunbi who wrapped her arms loosely around your waist, snuggling beside you. 

“Boring. Jeonghan is always pretending to sleep so I can’t really talk to anyone anymore.”

“I am actually asleep,” Jeonghan raised his hand as a sign that he was alive. He looked like a corpse, actually, if you could put it nicely. Eunbi gave you a pointed look.

“Got a new bookkeeper yet?”

“Not yet,” she said, going back to the cash register when she saw a customer approach. You walked to the staff room, catching up with Yuju who ordered your favourite grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch with Black Shadow– probably the best wine you had tasted in your life, if you were objective. You knew there was a backstory to how Ateez made that wine their staple, but you figured you would hear about it someday later. For now, you had another purpose that led you to Yeosang’s office.

Yeosang opened the door when you knocked, blinking in surprise. “Aren’t you supposed to be at the main office?”

“Good evening? How have you been doing? How has work been?” You glared at him. “I’m good, thank you for asking.”

Yeosang snickered, letting you in and you took the seat in front of him. You sighed deeply, folding your arms. “I kind of miss this, I won’t lie. I feel like an outsider there, and it’s only my first day. Shift doesn’t start for another hour, by the way.”

“Would you like a drink?” He offered and you shook your head, telling him you just had lunch. “Well, Miss y/n. How can I help you today?”

You passed him the side-eye. “It’s still Luna for you. And I wanted to ask you a few things that I really should have asked before.”

“Ah… is it time for those questions?” Yeosang relaxed back, resting his hands behind his head, his muscles poking out from under the ivory dress shirt. You watched him for a moment, wondering what his accomplishments during the war were. Could he be holding a scary title as well, or was it something worse?

“Yes. You can’t blame me for being curious after the stunt the underboss pulled that night. True to your name, Ateez.”

It was the first time you ever referred to them with their gang name and he only watched you in silence, waiting for you to continue. It irked you that his expressions gave away nothing. Trained to give away nothing, a distant voice in your mind said. 

“Just tell me if there’s anything I need to know for now. I’m reporting directly to Mr. Park and… Mr. Jeong. I really don’t want to make a mistake.”

“You weren’t worried when you started working under me.”

“That’s because… you are you,” you tried to explain, ignoring the faint ache in your heart. “You don’t go around wearing formal suits and looking down on people and being… weird.”

“We don’t look down on people,” Yeosang sighed, though he was smiling at your admission. “Was Yunho weird towards you? What did he do now?”

“How did you– he didn’t do anything,” you told him. It was uncanny how well they knew each other. “I just want you to tell me if there’s something I should be aware of so I don’t make a mistake.”

Yeosang thought it was strange that you were asking such a question. He wished he could ask you what exactly you meant. Just what mistakes were you so afraid to make? Why did you always have to be cautious and walk on eggshells, even around him, even when you claimed that you were comfortable with him?

“I don’t think that you realise that Yunho is the only one of us who will forgive you even if you betray us in the worst possible way– he would still try to understand your reasons.”

Your eyes went a little wide as you let his words sink in. “Lieutenant Colonel Jeong Yunho… is forgiving?”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard about us,” Yeosang leaned forward, speaking gently. “But I can promise you that it’s not the entire truth. We are more than what you people make us to be, if you care to look past the ranks and titles.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by that, and you were too scared to ask. You couldn’t stop thinking about his admission about Yunho. You really couldn’t see it– he always looked so strict, in the traditional sense. Even when he had a hint of a smile on his lips last night, you couldn’t envision him to be someone who could sympathise with the ugliness of the people who were driven into the corner. Perhaps, because Yeosang was his friend, he was able to look past everything and see the lieutenant’s true, unmarred nature, but to you…

To you, he was Lieutenant Colonel Jeong Yunho. And you intended to keep it that way, for everyone’s sake.

Later, when you were at work and taking a breather, having just finished recording the day’s transactions, you reminded yourself that your relationship with Yeosang had turned too casual. Sure, it was the way he was with everyone at the bar– almost everyone. It was different with you, whether you liked it or not. Even though you had wanted to keep a distance from Yeosang, you just couldn’t. After all, you went to him right after hearing about their old gang days. 

You made a mental note to learn more about Ateez and the Crescent Company, and to learn about the extent of their involvement in Eden’s business world. You needed any information you could get your hands on, every detail whether true or not. If you were going to play this game and use them for your goal, you needed to know that the Crescents were not involved with your father and his business in any way. 

You needed to know if what they did was truly moral and right. And if you needed to sneak into places where you weren’t meant to go and possibly risk your life again… you would. 

It took you about a week to fully get the hang of things at the office. While Jihoon was still being an arse– at this point, you were starting to consider that it might be a part of his personality– he never refused to guide you or help you when you were stuck. Eunha was just as helpful and you were actually starting to like her a little. She wasn’t very talkative but considering that she was able to make Jihoon laugh… you were tempted to take pointers from her. Jihoon had worked the longest here and you needed to crack him to get him to talk.

In that one week, you got a chance to go into Mr. Jeong’s room twice, when he was not present to take the report from you himself. You made it quick– unlock the room, unlock the cupboard and place the report inside, look around if you had a few seconds and get the hell out. It was too soon to make a mistake so you only dared to make note of what the office looked like. There wasn’t much to it anyway– just the usual workspace, and it frustrated you that his workspace gave away nothing about him.

Mr. Jeong, you noted, usually came to the office during your shift at the late hours of night, presumably after dinner. You learned that Kim Hongjoong was out of station for some business dealing which was why the office was mostly empty, but also that this was where they usually gathered to meet up and discuss things. This office was sort of a base and if not here, they would be at the bar, though they generally avoided it because of obvious reasons. There was no saying when a drunkard fool, or two, would dare to interrupt them.

Yunho usually locked himself inside his office (Eunha was very suspicious that he usually napped there, claiming to have heard light snores sometimes) and Seonghwa came by twice that week, greeting you and asking if you were adjusting well. Neither of them had interacted with you much during the week but…

You recalled two nights ago when Yunho came back to the office just as it was closing time. You handed him the report and he called you inside his office to discuss a few things. When he was going over the report, he asked you if you had any problems with work recently.

“None at all,” you assured him. “It is manageable.”

He flicked through the pages, the white sleeves of his shirt rolled up over his sleeves, baring his veiny arms. You resisted the urge to trace all those veins on his arms– Jeong Yunho was one handsome man. It didn’t help that he had such beautiful hands either. Why were you assigned to submit him the reports every night? What was this new form of torture?

He caught you staring at his hands but he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he finished checking the report and shut the folder, running his hands over the cover once before clearing his throat to get your attention. You met his stare, pretending that you had not been ogling at his hands and arms– or at least, fake confidence that you were normal about it. 

“You were right about the artefact gallery,” Yunho said and you straightened. “It is indeed a money-laundering business. He is an assemblyman, a potential presidential candidate and, well, that’s a bad look for him with the elections right around the corner. How did you know when even his enemies aren’t aware of this information? And more importantly… do you want us to do something about it?”

“How I know does not matter,” you shook your head, adamant to not tell them your source. “It is just a piece of information that might be useful to you later. I am aware that your leader has been well involved with politicians– for connections, to secure deals. If you ever need leverage over General Wi, here is what you can use.”

Yunho took a deep breath at your response. You watched him scan you slowly, his eyes unreadable. “Is your source Yoo Kihyun of MX Pharmaceuticals?”

You looked down to hide your smile. “I have heard that you are well acquainted with him. He was more of a recipient than a source until a few years ago. The tables have turned now, but we still share information, and I was told that you could be trusted with the information I have. Is that still true?” 

He rubbed his chin in thought. “That depends on how useful the information you possess is. And it also depends on how loyal you are.”

“I am loyal to anyone who is loyal to me,” you said with a certainty that surprised him. “I know what it is like to be betrayed by blood and water both. To me, loyalty is the highest virtue.”

“Higher than morality?” He asked with a certain nonchalance, perhaps expecting to pin you in a corner, but…

“And what is morality, in this era?” You mused. “I’m sure you ask that question yourself often… Lieutenant Jeong.”

You seemed to have hit the nail because his gaze darkened. Perhaps, you should not have reminded him of his military rank, but to be Eden’s honoured lieutenant colonel and possess some fair morals? It didn’t add up even after Yeosang had said all the good things about him.

“I know what my morals are, Miss Jeon,” Yunho leaned forwards, locking his eyes with you and you wish some of his dark tendrils hid a bit of his eyes because that gaze was damning. “Do you? Or do you like to make yourself believe that you are the only virtuous one in the room?”

Maybe it was a dangerous game you were playing but you mirrored his position, your clasped hands almost brushing his as you said, “Oh, I have the lowest moral standards. In order to survive in Eden, especially when you’re on your own… you can’t go around possessing such foolish things as virtue, isn’t that so?”

Yunho looked down at your clasped hands, spotting the fading scar that ran along your thumb down to your wrist– one that you had gotten the night you lost everything. 

And then he ran a finger across it, ever so slowly, sending a trail of fire in its wake before getting up and wearing his coat, indicating that the meeting was over.

Damn him. Damn him and his stupid, beautiful hands–

“Goodnight, Luna,” he said in a low voice and you got up as well, gathering your wits before exiting the room.

“Goodnight… Mr. Jeong.”

And that had been the last time you saw him. It was Mr. Park who took the reports from you the day after, and last night you locked the office yourself about half an hour after midnight– you did not know why you stayed waiting for somebody to show up, but you felt a bit stupid afterwards. You should have clocked out on time.

You did not know why you waited.

You were so lost in your thoughts that you almost did not hear the sound of footsteps skittering in the direction of the office rooms. You looked up, gaping at what had to be a fifteen year old considering his scrawny appearance, moving not towards Yunho’s office but Kim Hongjoong’s. You frowned– how did he get past the guard?

“Oi,” you called but when he proceeded to knock at the boss’ door, you decided you had enough and slammed a hand on the desk to get his attention. “Oi, kid!”

“Is the Captain not inside?” he turned to look at you, looking as surprised to see you as you were. “Who are you?”

“Who are you?” you beckoned him to come nearer and he obeyed this time. “How did you get in?”

“I have something the Captain might like,” he grinned. “Still not back from his little trip to Edenary?”

So that’s where he was. The Capital of Eden, the land of the elites. “Uh… nope. Why you calling him ‘the Captain’?”

“Because that’s who he is?” He shook his head in disapproval. “New here?”

You scoffed in disbelief. “Kid, if you don’t tell me who you are, I’m going to have to escort you out.”

“No need, I’ll see myself out,” he winked at you and you laughed this time. You had to admit he was kind of cute for a kid even though you wanted to smack him on his head. You didn’t recall seeing him on the streets– his loose flannel shirt and newsboy cap was a look you thought you would have remembered. “I’m Jaemin, the informant. I answer directly to the Captain, so don’t even think about asking me what this was about.”

“You could still tell me, it could be our little secret,” you smirked but he shook his head. You stuck your tongue out at him. “Alright then. He’s supposed to come back tomorrow, I think. Should I let him know some kid was looking for him?”

Jaemin narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t met him yet, have you?”

“No,” you said. “Why?”

Jaemin only smiled condescendingly in answer. “You’ll find out. No need to tell him, I’ll be back soon.”

With that, the kid disappeared downstairs, leaving you wondering why he called the boss ‘the Captain’. It didn’t refer to his military rank because you knew that he was an honoured military strategist and colonel. You recently heard from Wendy that he had played a vital role towards the end of the war before the treaty between Eden and Halaland was signed. At such a young age, it was impressive. He was only a year older than you so he must have been about twenty when he earned that honour.

You distantly wondered if you ever came across him during the war. You had volunteered as a medical assistant– almost a nurse– in the latter half of the war. You had spent two whole years training medically and assisting the doctors and nurses. There weren’t many people in Eden so you might have encountered one of the Ateez men there, though you weren’t sure if you would recognise each other now. 

Moments later, you heard another pair of footsteps coming, this time familiar. Mr. Park, dressed in his usual black three-piece suit, met your gaze and sent a warm smile in your direction before he approached you.

“How are we doing tonight, Luna?”

“Good, Mr. Park. How about you?” You asked, taking tonight’s report and following him to Yunho’s office. “Did you perhaps see a kid leaving the building?”

Seonghwa chuckled at that. “You might find it hard to believe but that kid has saved lives with the information he shares.”

So the kid had not lied. “Impressive.”

Seonghwa waited until you took the seat in front of him. “He is like a stray cat who has marked us as his owners. We cannot take him in– he is too young, and he does not need to share the same fate the rest of us did, yeah? But he is a kid that nobody notices, and he uses that to his advantage. Next time you see him, ask him how he struck a deal with his ‘captain’.”

You laughed softly at that. “I will.”

Seonghwa nodded and started skimming through the reports. You told him that the new batch of liquor– specifically Black Shadow– had successfully been shipped to Mist Island. The shipment of their latest copper bullets was on the way too. You were surprised when you first found out that Mist Island was willing to trade weapons for liquor. Mist Island had a strict liquor import ban so the smuggling was being done secretly from both sides. It was impressive what money could buy.

Silence, Jihoon had told you one day when he was in a good mood. Silence of the police force.

You still hadn’t figured out what exactly they were doing with the weapons– you were aware that a lot of their money was being used in their business partnership with Pledis Manufacturers who were producers of machine parts. Your best guess was that they were involved in the weapons business and doing something undercover. You couldn’t question anyone about that yet. It was too soon.

“Good job, tonight,” Seonghwa said his usual words but this time, he did not dismiss you. Instead, he rested his back on the chair to look at you. “There are a few questions about your background that I must ask you before our boss arrives tomorrow, Luna. I’m hoping you will cooperate.”

There it was. They must have been done with the background check now. You wondered how much they found. “As best as I can while protecting myself, I will.”

Seonghwa smiled at that. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. Neither is it that I trust you already– Yeosang did, but that was different. You are now involved in the heart of the business that the Crescent Company does, so I have to make sure you’re suitable for this job, right?”

You were glad it was Mr. Park who was asking you these questions right now. Something about his presence was utterly calming and you could relax a little while talking to him. If you were objective, you could say that perhaps, it was his strategy to get you to lower your guard. But still… he was always soft spoken and kind. That did not change. 

“I understand, Mr. Park,” you assured him. 

“I could not find the records of your family… Miss Jeon,” he emphasised at your surname and you nodded. “You’re not a Jeon, are you?”

“It is a surname I borrowed around the time of the war, but I can assure you that I am from Eden. I was born here and have lived here all my life, at the Sector 1 border… save for a few years that I was not here.” Almost the truth. You had lived in Edenary, at the outskirts that met with Sector 1.

“And where were you? Where did you go in 1963?”

You exhaled. “Wonderland, to look after my sick aunt and get some further education.”

“Where, in Wonderland? Can I confirm that?” Seonghwa asked.

“The capital, Wonder City” you told him. “I’m not related to that aunt. She’s just an acquaintance who was willing to take me in. I looked after her and she gave me the financial help I needed.”

“Financial help,” Seonghwa repeated, glancing at your pearl ring that you always wore. He had an eye for things, and he knew that the pearl could not be in the hands of someone who was struggling financially. You could not have worn it so proudly if you had stolen it, so was it a family ring? A normal middle-class family could not afford such a pearl.

Just who were you?

“Yes,” you confirmed, willing him to trust you. “I might be wearing a pearl from Maddox & Co., Mr. Park, but that does not mean that I was showered in luxuries all my life. You must have found out that I was desperate for a job when I came back in 1966.”

Seonghwa nodded, swiping his hair back and exhaling. “Alright, I’ll let it be for now. You only need to tell us if you are related in any way to our rival gangs or the Sirens Rebel Party.”

“I am not your enemy,” you confirmed. “I cannot be acquainted with Yoo KIhyun and be in cahoots with any of your enemies. You have the same rivals.”

“Today’s friend is tomorrow’s rival,” Seonghwa mused. “Today’s enemy might be tomorrow’s lifesaver.”

“Then it is up to you, whatever you want me to be,” you smirked. “Rival or friend.”

Seonghwa nodded in thought, a bit amused, proceeding to pour you both some wine. While he downed it in one gulp, you sipped on it slowly, anticipating his next move.

“Do you perhaps have another tip for us?” Seonghwa raised a brow, amused.

“I might have, regarding your latest dealings with General Wi, but I will wait until both sides are clear.”

“Good,” Seonghwa shut the folder in conclusion. “I will take the leap of trust in you, Luna. Maybe you can do the same for us?”

“For you… yes, I can,” you told him. “I have one favour to ask, though.”

“Another one, already?” Seonghwa teased.

“You have a meeting scheduled with Secretary Park Byung Eun on the 14th, right?” You asked, the name leaving the most bitter taste in your mouth.

“President Lee’s secretary, yes,” Seonghwa nodded. “Do you know him?”

“Everyone knows him,” you said. While he was the President's current secretary, his name was well-known before that as one of the most successful businessmen in Eden. “You must be meeting because of a potential pharma-collaboration?”

“That’s right,” Seonghwa frowned, anticipating what was next.

You took a deep breath. “Do not reveal all your cards to that man. Do not let them know what you are up to.”

“Is that your way of telling us to be careful?” Seonghwa snorted. “We never show all our cards in the first meeting, Luna.”

“Neither do they,” you warned him and his smile fell. “Secretary Park’s team has a penchant for tricking you into deals. I’m just asking you to think this deal through. Whatever they are offering you won’t be very beneficial in the long run.”

“And how do you know that?”

“That doesn’t matter,” you told him. “If you need sources, or funds, you don’t need to rely on the Secretary Park.”

“You don’t know what business we conduct here, Luna–”

“I don’t need to know to warn you,” you insisted, feeling that tight knot of frustration build up in the back of your throat now. “I’m only asking you to think this through and take my words into consideration.”

“Your words, Miss Jeon, lack credibility right now,” he stated in a finalising tone, a pang of hurt shooting through your chest for a moment. He was right, though. They had no reason to trust you and to them, you must be seeming like someone who was looking to jeopardise their deal. “If you really want us to take you seriously, you would have to start giving us more.”

“I cannot give you more if I don’t know what you will do with the information,” you told him, sighing deeply. “Forget it, just… can you please let me know what you will be gaining and what you will be losing after your meeting with Secretary Park?”

“You’re assuming we will lose something,” Seonghwa noted. You didn’t answer and Seonghwa scanned your face, almost detecting fear in your eyes. Just what were you so scared of? “Is there any way you can trust me and tell me what this is about?”

“Not so soon, no, sorry,” you smiled sadly. You wanted to trust that man, you wanted to trust someone, anyone. “I don’t know what I’m waiting for, if I have to be honest. I’m probably asking too much considering that I am a mere bookkeeper.”

“We may have ranks here but we’re all equal, in the end,” Seonghwa said and his words tugged at your heart. There was rarely anyone who didn’t bring rank into everything. “I know you have no reasons to trust us either. Let’s work through our differences first before we make such demands, alright?”

You smiled at him and got up to leave. He followed, locking the doors and you both exited the building together. You shivered when the chilly night wind hit you. 

“The weather is getting colder. Bring a jacket or a scarf next time, will you?” Seonghwa said and you nodded. “Goodnight, Luna. I hope we are able to overcome all that is keeping us from mutual trust.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Park. Thank you for taking my words into consideration.”

He nodded, patting your back affectionately before you separated ways. That night, when you went home, you found Wendy getting ready to go to sleep. You didn’t get much of a chance to talk to her the whole week, considering your conflicting schedules, but you needed some answers right now so you sat at her bedside and she groaned in defeat.

“You need to tell me every detail, every rumour you’ve heard or any information you have on Ateez and what they do. Now.”

It was quite the busy day at the Crescent Office today. 

During the midday slot, you were packed with the new reports you had to make regarding the recent trade dealings with Mist Island, and you also needed to compile a transaction history before the Crescents were going to finalise their new deal with Utopia– both dealings happening undercover. You realised just how much work this job was– you had to create a pretty seamless legal report that was going to be used officially and make it seem like all their money was being circulated in their manufacturing business or the liquor business.

Seonghwa and San arrived when your shift was about to end. San waved at you, promising to catch up later and Eunha looked at you with a scandalous smile.

“Do you know the Choi San?”

“I literally worked at the Crescent Bar, Eunha,” you laughed. “I had to work with him.”

“He’s never waved at me like that. I’ve been here for a decade,” Eunha pouted. 

“Maybe you need to work as a cashier at the Crescent Bar in order to earn that privilege,” you told her, though you felt a bit pleased to hear that San had formal relations with the staff here.

Why were you pleased to hear that? You wondered but not long enough to make sense of it, soon getting caught up in more work. 

You went home after your midday shift, hoping to get some rest before your night shift because you knew it was going to be packed. You had no idea when the boss was supposed to come to office but you just hoped you would go unnoticed today– you had far too many thoughts that needed some sorting from everything Wendy told you last night– another reason you wanted to get some rest because her words kept you awake for the most part of the night. 

You made sure to dress properly today though, in any case. The weather was starting to get a bit chilly– summers were usually chilly in Eden. You wore a grey plaid suit that you kept for days like these, when you needed to make a good impression. You had fond memories with the two-piece– it was the first gift Wendy got you and it was more than she should have done, but she insisted she earned enough to buy gifts like these for the few friends she had. That made you wonder why she lived in a lousy shared apartment. You knew that her actual residence was in Sector 8 and she sometimes joked about how she lived here because it was ‘convenient’.

You wore white net gloves over your hands before going out, donning a matching grey hat. Eunha noted the new additions to your outfit and whistled as she shut her registers, groaning in satisfaction when she stretched her back.

“You did right with the gloves, but it’s a shame the boss isn’t here to appreciate them.”

“Eunha,” you glared at her and she giggled. She had warmed up to you– a bit too much, if you had to say, because she made jokes and teasing remarks like these often now that she was comfortable with you. You took off the gloves and spread them on your desk, grinning at her.

“I think they look pretty good from here too.”

You both shared a grin at that and Eunha wore her overcoat, saluting mockingly before leaving. Just before she was about to go downstairs, she turned in your direction, her doe eyes gleaming.  “Luna!”

“What now?”

“If you see the boss… don’t take his words to heart,” she said. “He may sound like a complete arse but he cares for all of us.”

“It can’t be any worse than Jihoon, can it?” You joked.

Eunha was right, though. At around 10 pm, you finally heard a few sets of footsteps ascend up the stairs and you took a deep breath, fixing your gaze on the stairs. To get to his office, the boss would have to walk past you so you fixed your half tied hair and arranged your desk a bit. Yunho’s head was the first to pop up, followed by an unfamiliar man and Seonghwa. They went inside Yunho’s room first, absorbed in heated discussion and you took a deep breath.

It was clear as day who Kim Hongjoong was. If it was not his appearance that betrayed him– dressed in a luxurious three-piece suit with the chain of a golden pocket watch visible, dark brown curls falling stylishly over his forehead– it was his unmistakable aura, the way he carried himself and his confidence. You felt it even if what you got was only a glimpse. 

A few minutes later, the trio popped out of Yunho’s room to go into Hongjoong’s room. You continued scribbling this time. You were going to remain in the shadows and go unnoticed–

“Get me the tax files,” the boss said. “I will personally make sure everything is seamless because I cannot have anyone messing it up– ah. Who is this again?”

Seonghwa cleared his throat. “Miss Jeon y/n. The bookkeeper– I thought Yunho told you already?”

Yunho looked guiltily at Seonghwa and you stood up in greeting, meeting the boss’s sharp eyes and internally gasping because oh, good heavens. He was inexplicably gorgeous–

“Good evening, Mr. Kim. If you need the tax files, I can get them for you.”

Hongjoong’s eyes betrayed him for just a second as he scanned your form, finding something oddly familiar about you. But his steel expressions returned and he shrugged lightly. “Yeah, well. I’ll have Yunho deal with that. You can get back to work.”

With that, he went towards his office and only waited a moment for the others to follow before he shut the door.

What a snob, you thought. His new bookkeeper and he didn’t even acknowledge you. Had Seonghwa and Yunho really not told him about you, or was he above these meagre details? You were aware that you would have to work with the boss now that he was back, but… how? 

Later, you found yourself at the Crescent Bar instead of your room. Perhaps, here you could get something that would make the bitter aftertaste in your mouth after tonight’s shift seem like nothing. Eunbi’s shift was over so you just found an empty spot in the corner and instructed one of your old colleagues to get you some Black Shadow and to make sure no one would bother you. He gave you a thumbs-up and a few minutes later, you were sipping at the rich drink while recalling the events of today.

Kim Hongjoong. Ateez’s boss, the brains behind the entity of the Crescent Company. A force to be reckoned with. A trickster, a manipulator, a true businessman, you had heard a while ago from the mouth of the elites who came here to drink. A man of his principles, Wendy had told you last night. He was rigid with his principles and that was what got him so far. You supposed he had to be all of that in order to survive after coming back from the war. 

Wendy said she wasn’t worried that you were working with him– at some point in this small sector, everyone had or would encounter him at least once in his life, directly or indirectly. However, she was worried that you would catch his eye, because according to her, you did not want to be involved with him personally in any way. He was a calculating and ruthless businessman with an ambition, and according to Wendy, that was something you were better off staying away from.

You considered everything you knew about the Crescent Company now that it had been a week working with them. They had partnered with Pledis Manufacturers to produce machine parts but you now knew that it was an undercover business for their weapons assembling. They had recently signed a new deal with Utopia to export these weapons in exchange for the Utopian wine– Black Shadow–  which was a trademark of the Crescent Bar. 

And it was Mist Island that provided the Crescents with the bullets and some metal for weapons production in exchange for Eden wine. It truly was a well-thought out business.

But that could not be all. You still did not know what the small packet– the powdery thing that got you here– was. Was it just a drug they used for pleasure purposes? You had never seen them in such a state, nor did the Crescent Bar tolerate druggies, though deals happened there, just like at any other bar. Nobody seemed to talk about it, there was no record of such an object being traded or produced– so what was it? Why had they almost killed you when they learned that you saw it?

And if it was a drug, why did they need to make a business deal with Secretary Park Byung Eun and have him fund MX Pharmaceuticals, of which they owned shares of? Kihyun knew that Secretary Park was not a man you should involve yourself with, so was he not aware of this new venture or was he turning a blind eye to it because they needed Secretary Park? Why would they need him of all the people in this world? 

“If you glare at your glass any longer, it will shatter,” a familiar voice said and you looked up, mouth parting in surprise.

“San!” You got up, straightening your clothes. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, I literally own this bar?” San chuckled, noticing the almost empty bottle. 

“I mean, here here,” you pointed at your table. “I was just… drinking, as you can already see.”

“Long day?”

“Kind of,” you nodded. 

“Can I join you then? I’ve had a long day too.”

“Sure,” you said and he settled down in front of you, tossing his jacket on the other chair, now in a half sleeve black shirt. You poured the drink for him and he swirled it a few times before downing it in one gulp. You filled his glass again and motioned one of the waiters to get you a new one. 

It felt a little strange to have him seated like this in front of you. Sure, you had shared drinks countless times, but that was when you worked here and were serving him. There was also a shift in your interactions ever since that fateful night at the bar– somehow, that had turned your conversations more casual. He caught you staring at him but he didn’t comment on it.

“I’m assuming you met Hongjoong?” San asked and you exhaled, making him snicker. “What?”

“He’s… definitely the boss,” you laughed shortly. “He scanned me once and was like, okay, time to move on.”

“That’s him,” San laughed. “But that little scan he does means that he has memorised who you are and won’t forget. He’s got quite the memory.”

“I would expect nothing less, but San,” you sighed. “I miss being here. Even though I acted all professional here for the sake of formalities, it wasn’t ever suffocating being here.”

San frowned at your admission. “Do you not like where you are now?”

“It’s not that,” you shook your head. “I like the new job. It’s testing my capabilities, and I like challenges. It’s just that… you aren’t there. Yeosang isn’t there. You both are Crescents too. You both are also Ateez, so… how are you two so different from the rest?”

A smile creeped up on San’s lips and your heart did a little somersault– you hadn’t forgotten how handsome he was, but it had certainly been a while since you admired his charms. “Just say you miss us and move on, Luna.”

You laughed at that and San joined, the two of you chuckling for a few moments. “Yeah, I kind of miss being here and reporting all the gossip to you,” you said. “I miss working in silence with Yeosang too– don’t tell him I said that. It’ll get to his head.”

“I won’t,” he grinned. “Shall I tell you the gossip?”

“Oh, please, I’ve been starving,” you said.

About an hour passed over gossip and drinks, switching from wine to plain soda. San told you the latest happenings of the area– they had a little fight with Chan’s gang and had settled the matter about the attack on the Crescent Bar, making them pay for the damages. Yuju had gone to different bars to do a survey of what was trendy and come up with nothing, and you joked about how she was only good at doing what she knew– managing the staff, something she was an expert at. San said he would be sending Jeonghan and Mingyu next– perhaps, they would come up with a better report. 

It was the first time you talked to San as a friend, and though you had always found it quite easy to talk to him, you liked that just like Yeosang, he didn’t make it feel like there was a distinction between you two. Perhaps, you wondered, it was because of the nature of your work- after all, you couldn’t be too formal in a place like a bar. Maybe if there was no Crescent Bar, you really would have found San intimidating and unapproachable, just like people claimed he was. You still couldn’t believe them– not when he had the softest gaze when he paid attention to you, not when his eyes curved into moons when he smiled or laughed, and certainly not when he whined like just another adult with problems. 

When you checked the time on your wristwatch, you whistled– it was almost 2 in the morning. “Well. Time flies.”

“The night is still young, but we’ve both got to get up early, don’t we?”

“We sure do,” you nodded. “Well, this has been… a pleasure, San.”

“Likewise,” he propped his chin on his hand as he looked at you. “We should do this again.”

“Complaining about work?” You laughed. “Complaining about my bosses slash your friends?”

“Oh, so when you do it, it’s complaining, but when I do it, it’s whining? Noted,” San shook his head in disappointment and you grinned. “Can I tell you something, Luna?”

“Sure.”

“The hyungs– Yunho, Seonghwa and Hongjoong… they’re just like me and Yeosang. You just don’t know them yet.”

You looked at him for a moment. “I would have believed you if you had not included Seonghwa in that list.”

“Why?”

“You’re nothing like Seonghwa,” you joked. “He’s far too kind and refined.”

San’s loud laughter filled the room and you looked around, making sure no one was being disturbed. You leaned forward to tap his hand and make him stop laughing.

“I’m not lying, Luna,” San wiped his eyes. “Seonghwa… he may look refined but he can be very playful and childish when he wants to be. Yunho… well, once he warms up, you’ll know that he is the best kind of person you can have by your side.”

Somehow, his words wrapped around your heart like a promise. “You care about them a lot, huh?”

“I do,” he nodded. “They’re my friends, a part of my heart. I would do anything for them.”

“And… Hongjoong?”

“Hongjoong, well…” San smiled. “You find that out for yourself.”

“Not helping, San,” you folded your arms but he shook his head.

“All I can tell you is that if you’re lucky enough to break his walls… if he takes you under his wing, he won’t let anything hurt you. That’s the kind of person he is. He is the boss but he acts like a shield for us, and I wish I could do the same for him.”

You took note of his words. Did you trust San? A bit, yes. If he said all those things about Hongjoong, they must be true– at least according to his perception. But could you trust Hongjoong? Could you act as a shield for them so they could protect you in the future?

You made the decision before you slept that night. 

During your night shift the next day, you waited for the office to get a bit emptier. When there was only Seonghwa and Hongjoong on the upper level, you took a leap of faith and knocked on the boss’s door. It was now or never, and you had to make your move.

“Come in,” Seonghwa’s voice sounded and you opened the door. Seonghwa was seated at the couch while Hongjoong was at the end of the room in his chair, scribbling on paper, not bothering to look at you.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” You asked Seonghwa.

“Sure, have a seat,” he motioned to the couch in front of him and you did, sliding the report to him and glancing at Hongjoong once. “Is everything alright?”

“It is, but… I must warn you of something. You cannot proceed with the deal you’re making with Secretary Park Byung Eun.”

Seonghwa settled the pen he had been playing with on the table, taking a deep breath. “What is this really about?”

“Secretary Park is aiming to become the Minister of Health, isn’t that right? All of the ex-president’s team has either retired or left their posts, replaced by President Lee’s people,” you said. “Is that why you need Secretary Park? Because you have no other option?”

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes– how did you find out that he was aiming to become the next Minister of Health? It wasn’t publicly announced yet– he had yet to sign up as a candidate for that post. 

“You must have one hell of a source,” Seonghwa looked amused, glancing at Hongjoong who was smoking a cigar and now looking at you with mild interest. You gathered your nerves before continuing.

“He is not a good candidate for the position, but that is not what matters right now. I would have gone to Kihyun but I decided to confirm with you first because I’m not sure if he’s aware of your plans, but… you must need Secretary Park to approve some drug in the future, right?”

Seonghwa’s brow rose ever so slightly and you jumped a little when Hongjoong slammed the pen that he had been holding on the table. He cocked his head as he glared at you. 

“Miss Jeon,” he said in a warning tone. “If you don’t stop talking in circles right now and tell us what this is about, I’ll have to deal with you myself. You don’t want that.”

You gritted your teeth, unafraid for the first time in a while. “Do you want this business deal with Secretary Park to be legal? Just answer my question first, Mr. Kim.”

“That’s right,” Seonghwa answered for him. 

“You should know that Secretary Park already has some business deals with Strictland officials going on,” you said in a low tone and the two looked at each other in surprise, clearly unaware. “You know how it will look for you if word comes out– Strictland is already an occupied state on the verge of military dictatorship. You can try to verify it for yourself if you want, but whatever deal Secretary Park has going on with Strictland… it’s not legal in any sense, neither is it moral.”

Seonghwa took a deep breath. “Our meeting with Secretary Park is scheduled for tomorrow.”

“And I thought you should be aware of this before the meeting,” you locked eyes with him, hoping he could see the desperation in them. 

“Jeon y/n, was it?” Hongjoong called and you looked at him. He was squashing his cigar in the ashtray on his desk. You nodded and he finally smiled, though it looked almost devilish. “Why would you care to tell us this information?”

“You must have heard from your underboss,” you said. “I am willing to trade information with you in return for protection.”

“And power,” he pointed out the missing part. “You mentioned power.”

“I only desire power in order to survive in Eden,” you said.

“So why protection?” Hongjoong asked. “You can’t be a powerful figure in Eden and not have everyone targeting you.”

“Being a part of the Crescent Company is protection enough, I suppose,” you rested your hands on the soft material of your black pants, subtly wiping the sweat off. 

“Protection from whom?” Hongjoong asked, his gaze set on you. You found it overwhelming almost to the point that you considered answering– he had a commanding presence. 

“I… can’t say. Not yet,” you said and Seonghwa shook his head, having already known your answer. “I don’t expect you to tell me what the deal is about– after all, I’m only a bookkeeper. But I can give you better options– ex-president Mr. Son, for instance, or Assemblyman Kim Jooheon.”

“Assemblyman Kim is a nobody in the political scene if we are being objective,” Seonghwa said. “I don’t think he will have much to offer to us.”

“He will have something to offer to you if you give him something in return– maybe something that pulls him out of the shadows and into the spotlight of the political scene,” you said, recalling how the politicians in Edenary always thought Assemblyman Kim had the potential but lacked the resources. 

“Why would Mr. Son ever associate himself with us?” Hongjoong got up from his seat, slowly walking towards you, hands in the pocket of his striped black suit. “We may be owners of a legal business company now, but everyone knows of our mafia ties and background.”

“You are an honoured military strategist who played a vital role to end the war, isn’t that true?” 

Hongjoong chuckled at that, nodding slowly to confirm that and settling down next to Seonghwa. “Not everyone is aware of that, Miss Jeon. I don’t like people talking about it.”

“But Mr. Son was the president at that time, and he honoured you with a badge,” you kept his gaze. “I think he will agree that a person who did everything in their power to end the feud between two nations would not be making a deal that would harm his motherland and its people… don’t you agree?”

Hongjoong stared at you while considering your words. “You have a lot of audacity to come in here and make claims about a business you are not a part of, and people you don’t know enough about. Possessing such audacity is what almost cost you your life that night, and what is tempting me to retract the deal my partners made behind my back.”

And there it was. A stark reminder that you may have struck a deal with the queen, but you were still just a pawn in this game of chess where the king ruled. Weak and expendable– that’s what you were.

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa began but Hongjoong raised his hand in the air to stop him from speaking further, his eyes still locked with yours. You didn’t feel shame nor fear in that moment– just regret that maybe you had trusted the wrong people.

“You are a bookkeeper, and you can remain so. Goodnight, Miss Jeon.”

You nodded slowly, letting his words sink in and then you got up, bowing in greeting. “Good night, Mr. Kim, Mr. Park. Thank you for hearing me out.”

With that, you left the room and Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong. “You did not have to put it like that. I know she got you.”

Hongjoong slumped down on the couch in front of Seonghwa, cracking his knuckles while he thought about his next move. “Is there any way we can verify the information about Secretary Park without anyone getting a whiff?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa admitted. “I’m wondering how she knows that– if that was the truth. If Secretary Park really has a business deal with Strictland officials… I don’t think even his wife would know about that. If anyone gets a whiff of that, it could cost him his position and cause President Lee significant harm too, since Park Byung Eun is his secretary. You know how Strictland is still a sensitive topic after the war.”

“Then how does she know?” Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa. “Is she a spy?”

“She can’t be,” Seonghwa shook his head. “Luna worked as the bookkeeper at Crescent Bar for two years–”

“Luna?”

“That’s what everyone calls her,” Seonghwa said, a hint of a smile on his lips.

“She could be a mole, then,” Hongjoong sighed. “But no. Even a mole could not possess this information. What do we do?” 

“Kihyun was Secretary Park’s former business partner. I’ll ask Yunho to check with Kihyun and confirm if Secretary Park is the right man for this deal, but that means we will have to let Kihyun know that we are intending to make such a deal.”

“We were going to tell him anyway, let’s proceed with that plan. And Seonghwa?”

“Yeah?”

“Contact the RV spies and get any information you can on your little bookkeeper.”

-> apply for the taglist here! (check your privacy setting if the tags don't work)

taglist pt 1:

@lorensonebraincell @sungbeam @waywardstaytiny @lluvia1415 @woohwababes @jjaemasung @fruithoughts @fancypeacepersona @propinquitypsithurism @kyomiingi @ateezswonderland @janetsarttrove @thenopekid @justconniez @daniela-f-uwu @hwasbestlover @vcutparis @missbangtangirl @zaynsfl4m3s @beabatiny @slowitdownmakeitb0uncy @alliethequeen @lavishloving @haowonbins @franbowesax @klllerwaifu @katerade23 @selfishw4ltz @paramedicnerd004 @atzlordz @curse-of-art @meowmeeps @intowxnderland @faeriehwa @staytiny-yaps @ishz @dumplingsyum @bunnychui @kandy108 @chanst1ddies @softsanglix @yongility @sang-09 @sweetinsaniiity @a-teez-4-exo @omgsuperstarg @saintriots @bihwabi

[sungbeam]

Hii so sorry for bothering you but, I love writing I’ve been doing it for a long time. I’d like to post on tumblr but I’m kinda new to it and don’t really know how to use it (gifs, text colors,…) so if it’s okay for you could you maybe teach me how to use it or give me some tips?

HELLO HELLO!!! omg i'm so flattered PLS TT but that's so great to hear that u want to start posting here and join the community!! :D i'll try to make a comprehensive, basic guide, but i'm def not the best with the technical things like color gradients and the like 😅 so if u wanted to explore about that, there r a lot of other blogs here who can show u!

besides that, i'll put below the cut my two cents, and anyone can feel free to add if i forgot anything!:

1. gifs! i'm gonna say right off the bat that i don't use gifs a lot, if not, at all. but there r a lot of gifs on tumblr that u can find and use!! usually if u search up the thing u want a gif of, u could probably find it, but pls remember to credit someone if u use their gif!! and if they ask u to like/rb their post if u save it, then pls respect that as well!!

2. text colors: ngl, they're really sparse and a little ugly 😅😅 at least the ones tumblr provides, so a lot of people either just stick to the plain text color or they go on desktop and do the fancy custom coloring w hex numbers and things. i really don't know how to do that (?) but again, if u ever want to learn, i can point u to someone who can show u! but at some points, i do like using the text colors one at a time to make things stand out more against the plain text! to use the colors, just select the text accordingly and u can press a color or press it again to undo it

that's what it looks like on my end! ^

3. text fonts: personally, tumblr's method of doing this is really annoying sjxbksnfh but you can change the font of an entire paragraph without selecting it. the font button is the "Aa" in the left corner above ur keyboard. u essentially have to just click thru until u figure out which one you'd like depending on the aesthetic ur going for! a lot of people ik here just use this regular text in the three different sizes, or they go to like,, copy paste generators online and find a font they like their instead! i do use those frequently, so lmk if you'd like the link to the one i use!

4. tags: one of the most important ways to get ur works out into the world esp when ur just starting off is thru the tags! to tag ur fic, it's the hashtag symbol to the right above ur keyboard. u wanna use tags that pertain to ur fic, so try avoiding tagging ur fic w things its not (like if it's angst, don't put fluff). some common things i tag my fics w are "(group/idol) x reader" "(group/idol) drabbles" "(group/idol) social media au" etc. and usually if it's a pretty known/used tag, it'll appear while ur typing it in as well!

5. navigation menus: writers here usually have a pinned post or a post w a link to a "navigation" post or masterlist! i have my navi pinned, but it essentially is a central place where i link everything that i'd like people to see or things readers/other writers would want to find! things that include: masterlists, about me, faqs, recently posted works, etc!

6. fic formatting: it's unfortunate, but a lot of readers r put off by some types of formatting, which is why a lot of people stick to plain text color and plain text font. usually, u wanna include the title, the idol pairing, word count, genre, and any warnings abt the fic. none of these r required, ofc, but i recommend it! and most people do prefer that if ur fic is over 500 words, that u should out a "keep reading" bar after a paragraph or two! a keep reading bar is like the one i used at the beginning of this post, and u just go to a new line and type ":readmore:" and press enter, and it'll form for u! some people use pictures as a little border as well btwn their intro section and the actual fic.

if u have additional questions, feel free to send in another ask or thru dms and i can walk u thru any of this!

i'm sure i'm missing other important things haha but when in doubt, take inspo from all the other creators around u! pls do remember to reblog people's fics when u read them tho — that's one if the most important things!

(just thought of this and adding, but try to avoid writing directly onto tumblr TT usually i do it on google docs first and copy-paste it onto here to do formatting! tumblr likes to delete things out of pocket sometimes so 💀)

[toxicsamruby]

abt parentification....can’t remember who it was but someone put it as “sam was dean’s kid but dean was *not* sam’s parent” which is i think a good way of putting it? bc that is v much a dimension to their relationship but if u say like. sam takes dean for granted i will block u <3

yeah! like it would just be silly to say that dean WASNT involved in raising sam but like..dean wasn’t sam’s parent. he has no right to act like it and sam isn’t wrong to assert his independence. 

its easy to only take the good or the bad aspects of the parentification question like i see a lot of dean stans insist that dean was sam’s mother and father and ignore the flip side of that, and some (but fewer) sam stans talk abt the horrible controlling abusive things dean’s done to sam over the years and ignore the flip side of that. and like again i Dont think that dean was an actual parent! but his selfish controlling abusive love for sam in the mid-late seasons is BUILT on the self sacrificing almost-parental love in the earlier seasons. if dean wasn’t made to feel responsible for sam as a kid, he wouldn’t have ended up feeling like he could make decisions like locking sam up to detox or forcing an angel into his head. you dont get one without the other! like the power imbalance btwn them was established early w the whole Protector vs Protected thing and THATS what people are mostly picking up on when they talk about parent dean. and i think different people exaggerate different aspects of it depending on what character/reading they favor (and again dean stans are def more guilty of that but sam stans r not immune from bad takes)

[backtothestart02]

Things to note if you’re following this blog as a westallen/Iris West stan:

FIRST, A NOTE: I know there are some commonly held beliefs in the westallen/Iris West fandom. For the most part I agree with them. However, b/c I tend to multiship and love all the characters on most shows I watch, my opinions can run down the middle occasionally instead of on just one side or the other. Some of you have been following me a long time and know where we differ on opinions and are okay with that. But others of you are recent followers. You don’t know what’s up, and you get high key displeased w/ me as a blogger and wonder what in the world made you decide to follow me in the first place when I post unpopular opinions from our fandom that stray from what you believe is acceptable.

This post is a head’s up to unpopular opinions that I have. After reading if you still feel I’m worth the follow, keep on going. Just be aware that on the rare occasion, these opinions may crop up. If not, feel free to unfollow/blacklist and move on to more worthy blogs. I promise you I will not be offended. I don’t want you to come across something that upsets you on my blog, but there’s no way I can please everyone and still feel like I’m able to post everything I want to post. Also, I’d rather not have countless asks streaming into my inbox whenever I post something that may offend you that you weren’t expecting to see. The list below details some (at least what I can think of atm) of those things, so you can be prepared if you do decide to stay.

Last thing, this is not an open invitation to come attack me in my inbox for the opinions I have listed below. This is just me helping you be more aware of my thoughts and feelings on show matters, so you’re not taken off guard for the very few posts where I actually share said opinions. That is all.

1) In the first couple episodes of the Flash, I couldn’t decide between who to ship - snowbarry or westallen (i.e. I thought Grant had chemistry with both ladies and his potential story with both of them appealed to me.) It was the snowstorm backstory in 1x03 that killed any SB romantic feels. I haven’t shipped even the potential of snowbarry ever since.

2) I hardcore shipped spallen while they were together and was sad when Patty left. Even though I didn’t want them to be together long term, I did want them to reach Iris/Eddie status. It should also be noted that I thought Grant and Shantel (as much as I’m disappointed in her irl due to her remarks about Candice/Iris the following summer) had a ton of chemistry. I doubt I’d have shipped Barry with Patty if I hadn’t felt that, because I was not looking forward to Barry having a love interest that wasn’t Iris after season 1.

3) Due to my loving spallen so much, I wasn’t overly aware of Iris being sidelined in 2A, and I didn’t consider Barry a bad friend to her for that reason. (I’ve seen the light since then, but it’s still not an opinion I’m firm on, and I definitely didn’t start out thinking the worst of Barry for what was written.)

4) I didn’t appreciate Iris sneaking off with Wally in 3x11 and deliberately lying to Barry about it (and then that very fact not being addressed whatsoever). Again, I’ve come to an understanding about this as well, but I still didn’t appreciate the lying.

5) Before the “We are the Flash” scene actually happened, I was not a fan of Iris taking on the role of team leader at all - at least not after Barry came out of the speed force. I’m now a huge fan of it, but I didn’t start out liking it.

6) For AU I’m open to almost any pairing in many cases. For instance, I’ve seen SB AU vids that look really good. (I really just love how people are able to create AU SLs in such unique ways w/ unrelated scenes tbh, esp in vids.) In those instances it just looks like Grant and Danielle are starring together in a romantic comedy or whatever, and I have no problem with that. As long as Iris/Candice aren’t also in the scenario and Barry/Grant is refusing her for Danielle/Caitlin (b/c that I’m def not a fan of), I’m pretty open to scenarios that are completely separate from canon as we know it. (At least with vids. It might be a tough pill for me to swallow to read a fic that was SB, even if Iris wasn’t a character w/in it.)

7) I can buy Caitlin having a little bit of a crush on Barry in season 1. I really don’t think Barry ever shared that feeling (though some scenes they shared were clearly ship bait), but b/c Danielle played up those scenes towards an SB romance occasionally, I think it’s totally legit to have shipped them together in that season or shipped the potential of what they could have been. There was ship bait there. If there are feelings on one end, it’s not a crack ship. After season 1, however, (esp after 2x01) there’s absolutely no sign of it. And especially now the delusion is ridiculous. Barry & Caitlin had plenty of opportunity to get together, but they never did. And whatever Caitlin may or may not have felt for Barry even in season 1 never trumped the very deep love she had for Ronnie, so in the end it’s irrelevant.

8) I didn’t like Barry and Linda together. I didn’t buy that they had chemistry either. (Though to be fair, I didn’t even try to be open to it, because I didn’t want it. lol.) Iris was getting jealous, and Barry was shutting her down. With good reason, but still. My bb Iris was finally realizing her feelings, and she was hurt b/c Barry wasn’t responding to them the way she wanted when she couldn’t even say what they were b/c she was in a relationship of her own. It’s not Linda’s fault in the slightest, but - esp given Malese has come btwn two of my ships on two separate shows, one of them being my otp - that ship just rubbed me the wrong way. They were getting in the way of westallen finally happening and that bothered me (b/c it was such terrible timing and proves further why I fully expected to hate spallen before it even happened).

9) I love Felicity (though not a fan of that wedding interruption, obvs), and especially Barry & Felicity’s friendship. So, while I didn’t approve of everyone continually keeping Iris in the dark about Barry’s identity in season 1, I didn’t come away from Felicity’s 1B crossover where she encouraged Barry not to tell Iris about his identity (I don’t even REMEMBER that part of the advice she gave him tbh). I came away being pleased that he was going to fill in Caitlin and Cisco with what he was feeling, and I loved that Felicity was there for him as counsel outside of the people involved with his current struggle.

10) I love love loved what has been called the ‘original’ team flash - Barry, Cisco, and Caitlin. Because of that reason I love platonic snowbarry, and I was sad when they stopped having that many scenes together post-s1. I know it’s because Iris was no longer in the dark, but I really thought they had a special bond, just like he and Cisco do. She’s clearly the person he’s least close with of all the people in his life, but I do really appreciate when we get snapshots of their friendship, and specifically the Barry/Cisco/Caitlin dynamic. That threesome is special, and I like when it’s highlighted. For example: Caitlin actually being a part of Barry & Cisco’s game of laser tag at the beginning of 4x03 brought me so much joy. Also, 3x07 is one of my fav episodes of season 3 b/c not only did it showcase westallen beautifully - and killervibe - but also snowbarry. Iris’ pep talk to Barry and Barry saving Caitlin from herself in almost the last scene are just about on equal significance to me. The WA scene rises above for obvs reasons, but I really truly loved the SB through-line in that episode. It annoys me to no end that I cannot find purely platonic SB vids to watch, b/c that is all I want in life for them. Their relationship is sufficient enough on its own. It doesn’t need to be more, and it’s not canon that is. I think there should be more appreciation for what is canon, rather than what is not.

11) I don’t hate Caitlin Snow. There have been several points in the show - whether it be an arc (her falling for “Jay” so soon after Ronnie’s second alleged death) or a couple episodes (3x15 - her selfishly keeping part of the philosopher’s stone for herself and not only not ever using it to try and get rid of her powers, but keeping it a secret and having basically no consequences for that fact). But in general? I liked her in season 1, and I like her now. It’s true that I’m conflicted now, because she hasn’t apologized to Iris about being onboard team Kill Iris w/ Savitar last season. But the Caitlin she is now is reminiscent of the Caitlin I loved in season 1, so mostly I’m good w/ her. (Besides snowstorm was my second top ship and killervibe is my fav friendship on The Flash. She’s obvs a huge part of both of those relationships.)

12) I don’t hate Danielle Panabaker. I high key disapprove of a lot of the things she said in season 1/2 interviews, and even when she maintains SB was on the verge of happening in season 1, I raise my eyebrows and scoff. But generally speaking, she seems like a sweetheart. I don’t believe it’s a facade the way I do with Shantel. I don’t think Danielle is a bad actress either.

*I’m sure there are more unpopular opinions I have, but these are the only ones that are occurring to me at the moment. I will think of more and reblog when I do.

[onnoffwrites]

Have yapped about this to my friends in the past about wow! They rly did have the worst first impression! Worst first meeting in every possible way!

Saguru just breathing and existing in that room was enough to set heiji off (for the crime of not being kudo), meanwhile heiji saying all that stuff that op notes in their post which is 😱😬

Op didn't get into other things saguru goes on to say as the koshien story continues, that potential showed saguru wasn't as unaffected as he seemed by heijis comments, as he hits back (verbally) just as hard. Hard enough to make heiji question himself and needing reassurance from conan to get his head back in the game (something saguru didn't have in this setting, if I'm to assume that heijis comments at him left him as affected as his comments affected heiji).

(Saguru hitting back as hard is also why I feel like in certain fandom circles there's a perception of saguru being an antagonistic arrogant mouthy guy with nothing to back up his boasts. But that's a whole other topic)

I think one thing I disagree with op on, and it's a tiny thing, is the implications that heiji and saguru continues to not get along and have a bad impression of each other from here on out, because that's the one thing we definitely don't know for sure. We don't get any heiji+saguru interaction ever after this arc came to a close. And we don't get to see them interact after closing up the case at the end of the arc, since sagurus a crossover character from a diff story, not a side character of Conan.

That said, what we did see was them interacting during the reveal of the culprit, and see saguru do his whoopsies (this reminds me, theres some translation nuance in this scene that apparently wasn't translated well in eng but I forgot to make a post about that). But it's in saguru making that mistake that we get to see how saguru behaves when he's wrong, and when he sees someone he was antagonistic towards, a mere few pages ago, get the facts right. Once he caught on to what heijis train of thought, he's just right there following along with the deductions.

Then afterwards when the topic of how they're gonna get off the island, we saw them briefly talking to each other, and there's not rly any antagonism. Like, at all. Not even the slightest bit. Maybe in being too charitable for saying there's no antagonism in those panels of them talking, but if u put that convo next to the way they spoke to each other in literally all the previous pages. It's a stark difference. Heijis just being his straightforward self with no added antagonism. Saguru not speaking with as much of a haughty attitude anymore (still some haughtiness, it's saguru after all). Maybe it's bc they're both trying to solve a problem together now (getting off the island) as opposed to the competition they were having perviously. Maybe this is me grasping at straws, but I don't rly see any lingering antagonism left btwn them. I def don't think saguru walked off that island with the impression of heiji being a "rude bastard" , rather he very likely and to reconsider his stance about heijis hot-headedness vs heijis instincts vs heijis skills, and all that boiling down to him probably agreeing with whatever previous assessment his dad made of heiji. Half of that sentence is me assuming things lol.

Point is, I rly don't see the antagonist ppl like to depict btwn saguru and heiji by the end of that arc. Granted I'm sure they still clash. The way they work is very diff from each other. And they're both competitive people who enjoy being competition. And I don't think they're particularly antagonistic towards each other, water under the bridge and all that. Then again, this is my interpretation of what I read, which could just be very different to other people's interpretation. Honestly, it would be fun if we get a chance to see saguru and heiji in the same story again. Coz I'm sure they'll still clash (they're just too different lol, but also too alike) and it would be funny to watch.

Okay apparently I'm going to do a study on this introduction, because going back to it? Especially knowing more about Hakuba via more recent Magic Kaito chapters? Fascinating stuff.

So. Hakuba's introducing himself, and he starts out by bringing up "My father spoke of you often" and "It seems you're a very sharp detective." Both of those are positive!

Hakuba is... high society, compared to Hattori simply hanging out around high ranking people and treating them like normal. Hattori argues with Kazuha in a very down to earth way, while Hakuba knows how to drink tea and probably how to set the table with a full set of cutlery (or at least how to use them).

So, Hakuba using their fathers to introduce himself is, to him, a normal enough way to say "I've heard good things about you, we're similar, I hope we can get along well."

What's more - Shinichi realises that, pretty quickly. Even if they hadn't met previously, he'd have been able to figure out by the words being used, that Saguru's father knows Heiji's father, or that they're in the same business.

If anything, I'd say that this slight culture clash is the second step of things going wrong between Hattori and Hakuba here, right after Hakuba being present at all, since Hattori had wanted Shinichi to take his rightful place where Hakuba is currently sitting.

Strike one, strike two.

Unfortunately, it gets worse from there, and I'm gonna go into it.

But then Hakuba brings up that he's not even fully based in Japan. To which, mostly Hattori is just "wait, what?" - but although I'm sure he means it simply to be as clear as possible, that could also be read as "I would say that, but I'm actually better." As in, being smug.

Strike three.

Still with "Kudo is the high school detective of the east, that's obvious, isn't it?" and rubbing salt into the insult to Hattori's bro with "they'd have liked me to represent the east in his place" but...

Oh boy.

This... this is also where I just stared and held my head in my hands because now? Because of something Hattori's said, and what he's going to continue saying/leaning into... we need to go back in time.

All the way back in Hakuba Saguru's first appearance, the papers say "just returned from London," suggesting (as I've seen someone say before) that he'd spent at least some, if not much, of his youth in Japan.

Certainly, he doesn't seem to speak with an accent in the present day, so he can't have grown up in the UK and only sometimes lived in Japan.

In Japan, however, he is referred to as...

In Nakamori's (uncouth) words at their first meeting, "Y-you're that bastard from London!"

No mention of how he has a fully Japanese name, partially Japanese features, a Japanese father, and no accent.

His introductory splash also frames him with the Union Jack behind him, showing off his Holmes cosplay and light hair. Almost all the major characters in the series have blue eyes, but here it's rather... plainly emphasising his Western features. His non-Japanese-ness.

Now, I do have to wonder if Gosho wrote that back in 1990 and hadn't given much thought to it. I certainly don't think it was intentionally cruel.

However, by volume 40, released in 2003, he's learned a bit more about social prejudice, and shows this with the Professor's First Love story:

This shows something that happened 40 years ago in-universe, with a girl of Japanese-American descent who has light, gingko colour hair, being very aware of how different she is, and not wanting her friend to see. She calls her hair "weird" and starts to cry.

Coming back to the present - content released in 2006 - let me go back to Hakuba Saguru.

Hattori "That's obvious, isn't it? And yer not even from this country to begin with."

Oh, Hattori. Only the previous case had you seeing how words can be as sharp as knives, and can hurt people.

Saguru doesn't seem too bothered at first, however...

First off, he points out that it isn't even his fault he's "taken Kudo's place" in the first place!

They contacted his housekeeper, who he's been shown to be very close with (I'd hazard a guess to say that, having not seen his mother at all, or seen her mentioned, Baaya is closer to him than his parents are), and when she heard that her charge would only be taking someone else's place since they weren't there, she got offended on his behalf.

Saguru, who loves this woman like she's literally his nanny, could hardly say no at that point.

More to the point: how he says "But it appears I am unfit to represent the East..."

So now we have Hattori having come in wanting his best friend to be represented and not sidelined just because of circumstances out of his control, and being in a bad mood immediately because of someone else having been called in. He also possibly inflates the number of cases he worked on or solved, by including childhood adventures, leading Saguru to point out that his count is only low if you only count the ones in one country. Saguru attempts to make friends with him regardless, and that doesn't work because Hattori is still stuck on how Saguru is "taking Kudo's place" and then focuses in on how Saguru "isn't even from this country" which... starts leaning into the uncomfortable territory of "Hattori I love you to pieces but are you being racist/xenophobic right now?"

I say that in the context of how Japan has a really big problem with seeing anyone who isn't fully Japanese as Not Japanese Enough, as I went into earlier. I don't think he's aware how he's coming across, by the way; he's simply got a big case of foot-in-mouth.

So now instead of having come to this conclusion organically and naturally, Saguru is offering to take the place of "Guest Participant from Overseas" to placate Hattori.

I'd imagine he won't be wanting to tell Baaya about that, for sure.

Saguru goes on to suggest that Conan (i.e, Shinichi himself) should represent the East instead.

I reiterate: they could well have come to this conclusion over a friendly conversation, because of how they have five detectives. But instead now Saguru has ceded his position to (as far as he knows) a child. A very clever child, but a child nonetheless.

The next time we're back at the island with Hattori and the others, he's already decided he doesn't like "that smug guy."

As said before, there are plenty of things that Hattori could have picked up on that'd suggest Saguru "looked down on people" and "had a prideful way of thinking" and he certainly could appear smug in his achievements.

Hattori himself says that Saguru was "was like a copy of [Kudo]." But he has decided he doesn't like Hakuba, therefore he won't like Hakuba.

A moment of Saguru bonding with Natsuki over their natural brown hair, a shared trait - we can see him smiling after saying "But... there aren't any tv cameras yet, so you could do what you want for tonight?"

In a way I feel like I'm making too much of a big deal out of this one thing, but I'm not the one bringing attention to it - Gosho is. Gosho's the one who reminds us that kids get into trouble for their natural brown hair, and Saguru got that too.

Those who've read Magic Kaito will know that he DOES have a Japanese school uniform - but as we saw at the start of the post, when he arrived, he arrived from his school in London.

This further emphasises how he's set apart from the others.

(An aside: it's entirely possible that his "school abroad" is more likely him going to sixth form, since our Secondary schools last (or did for me) up to the age of 16, and depending on the time of year he may have transferred over to the new school year already. Or he's just finishing his last year of Secondary. We don't know.)

Honestly... I'm going to leave this at that for now, because for one thing the post got away from me a bit, and became longer than I expected, and for another thing, I've covered the majority of the first meeting and both of them getting off on the wrong foot.

In short:

Hattori arrived with an idea of slipping Shinichi into the event, and was offended and upset when someone was already in his place. He, being the loyal friend he is, wasn't willing to simply let it lie.

Instead of backing down and accepting the situation and make friends with the new detective - who Shinichi knew and was acting friendly with, and who was willing to befriend him - he let his bad mood get the better of him and made offensive remarks of his own, most of which to the others would seem entirely unwarranted.

Because of that, Hattori still has a bad opinion of Saguru, and Saguru's opinion of Hattori has gone from "my father's spoken of you [positively]" to "rude asshole."

Neither of them are innocent, but when you look at them individually and fairly, neither of them are the only one in the wrong, either.

Like... no wonder they don't get along from here on? Wow.

I did not expect there to be so much in it, but there we go.

[ganseys-aquamarine-polo]

*Rant incoming* Am I the only one just annoyed that everyone always hates on Gansey? That out of the group it's always Gansey that is messed with? I never liked Sarchengsey or whatever it is because I never connected with Henry cause I thought his whole arc was way to sudden. But anyways, why can't people just let Blue and Gansey love each other in peace? Haven't they suffered enough? Why is everyone so convinced Gansey is gay/bisexual/pansexual? (1/2)

“He loves his friends, that’s it! Doesn’t mean he’s gay. Men are allowed to think other men are attractive. And I’m not a homophobe, because I ship Pynch with everything I have but I just want Gansey and Bluesey to be happy and be able to love. And for them to stop hating on my baby Gansey! He isn’t in love with Henry. Lowkey think Henry shouldn’t even be in the story. They aren’t in a polyamorous relationship. Gansey loves Blue. Blue loves Gansey. Jeez we had four books telling us that. (2/2)”

“I don’t mean to sound immature and I’ll continue to read TRC forever and ever but I just feel like Maggie really shit on Bluesey in the last book. Pynch got the perfect ending and Bluesey didn’t even get a post-curse kiss. And they have a third-ish person in the realtionship? AND Maggie goes on tumblr one day and says Blue’s kiss would still kill Gansey? I mean jeez for the couple that started off the series she really stomped them in the dirt in my opinion.Rant over. Sorry about that lol. (3/2)”

“After thinking about it, I didn’t mean to just go full hate on Sarchengsey. Anyone can ship whoever they want to ship. In my opinion, I just feel that I’ve shipped Bluesey for far too long to suddenly add another person I didn’t even connect to. My issue is that it’s always Gansey the fandom is trying to change. Do you notice that? People say he’s bi/pan/gay and good for him if he is, but it’s not - guys are allowed to say “that guy is attractive” that doesn’t mean he’s gay automatically. (4/2)”

“Did they read the same books?I know people interpret things differently but Gansey was/is so gone for Blue. Other than the obvious, “I can sleep after I talk to her” line. There are so many others “He wanted her to know that her bit of skin was more arousing than Orla’s entire body”,“my head knew that but the rest of me didn’t”,he’s turned on by her driving his car! Lol My question in all of this is- why is it always Gansey that people change? Why don’t people appreciate him like I do? lol (5/2)”

Whoo boy, Anon, there is a LOT going on here so I’m gonna have to break it down lol.

About Henry: First off, I see what you mean about Henry’s character feeling sudden and rushed. Tbqh, when I first read TRK, I was ticked that Henry got all of these Special Moments alone with Gansey that imo should’ve happened with Adam or Ronan (ie. going to find Glendower alone, finding the hole in the ground, bringing him down from a panic attack, having the idea to use magic to wake Gansey up, etc.). I liked Henry as a character though, and now I’ve grown to really love him! The toga party was amazing, Henry driving up to Blue’s high school and then staging an argument, the bEE IN THE HOLE SCENE WITH HIM TELLING GANSEY TO BREATHE AHH- but yes, his addition to the story was kinda random?

But! I have to disagree a bit when it comes to Sarchengsey. I definitely see where people feel a romantic attraction exists between Gansey and Henry (“Gansey finally felt what it was to be Known”). Being Known and Understood is something Gansey desperately wanted and never felt, and Henry gave that to him. Even Blue doesn’t completely understand Gansey, and she snaps at him a lot (I have some qualms about Blue but that’s a different post entirely). My minor problem w/ Sarchengsey as a ship is Blue and Henry. Their canon relationship is platonic and doesn’t feel romantic at all, so tbh I think they’re both in love with Gansey- but all of them together just seems like a really warm and happy relationship :). And, as you said, people are welcome to ship whatever they like- but I don’t think Sarchengsey came out of left field, ‘cause there is some definite content in the books that feel like it leads to it.

About Gansey being gay/pan/bi: I also have to disagree a wee bit. I think that Gansey being gay/pan/bi could very easily be true. HOWEVER! I do see your point- important point- about platonic love btwn boys, something shunned and kinda shamed in society that we def need more of. Yes, Gansey can love his friends in an open completely platonic way, and that’s a great thing to see in a guy character, but I think Gansey being gay/pan/bi is believable and Good. And when you say you don’t like fandom “changing Gansey,” I don’t see that too much? My biggest problem, actually, is that Gansey isn’t explored ENOUGH in some ways (but also im biased bc he’s my fav), and what appears to be fandom changing him is actually fandom trying to explore his character more? 

About Bluesey: Gansey loves Blue and that is undeniable and they DEFINITELY got the short end of the stick in trk- and I would’ve liked a post-death scene not just bc of bluesey but I Have So Many Questions and there are Feelings That Need To Be Shared among the whole gangsey ://///////

Sorry this got SO long, Anon!! But thanks!!

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

hey! i just got accepted into unc and i'm pretty sure i'm going there this fall. how is the atmosphere/vibe of the whole area? i'm more liberal-minded and i'd like to be around people like that. also, what is there to do while at unc? what is there to explore (on campus/off campus)? how's the food? and how did you find the transition from a high school schedule (back to back classes) to classes with hour breaks or so in btwn? sorry for all the questions!!! i'm just excited and curious :)

omg congrats! please come here we can be friends lol. okay I’m apologizing in advance because this will def end up being super long….

(so first assuming this is a different person I’d suggest going back and reading my answer to another similar question I got about UNC yesterday)

1. UNC is VERY liberal so don’t worry at all about that. I usually describe chapel hill as a liberal bubble in an otherwise conservative state. That being said there are definitely students who fit into any given category of political views so if someone weren’t necessary liberal they could still find like-minded people

2. The vibe of the area is what I would describe as cute southern town charm (I’m from the northeast so that’s what it appears like to me at least since I didn’t grow up around here). People are really friendly and the town is very cute…that’s not to say that campus isn’t more tense around exams and such but that kind of comes with any school

3. I talked more about the food in my answer to the ask the other day. Compared to your average college food I would definitely say that it’s good! Still nothing worth writing home about though. There’s a wide variety of restaurants in the town though and I reallllly like them. There’s the typical cheap college pizza places but there’s also thai, greek, italian, ice cream shops, mediterranean, mexican, etc. Really a little bit of everything.

4. There’s a lot to do on campus/off campus. There’s TONS of clubs so you can definitely find something that interests you. It’s a huge sports school so going to games (cough basketball cough) is a lot of fun. I took a drama class last semester and had to go see 3 plays by the school theater company and that was something interesting and out of the ordinary (for me at least). Also there’s obviously greek life so parties are big on the weekends…but if you aren’t into that (@ myself usually) you don’t necessarily feel left out either since there is a lot to do. The town has a lot of restaurants like I said. There’s bike paths and greenways and parks so lots of outdoorsy stuff. Also if you have a car there are a lot of awesome mountains only a few hours away for day hikes. And if you don’t have a car campus rec runs hiking trips every few weekends which I have yet to go on but want to. The town next to Chapel Hill (Carrboro) is basically my fave place ever. Tons of coffee shops, a co-op market with a bunch of picnic tables outside that are always occupied by families and DOGS on the weekends, farmer’s markets, etc. Also, yoga studios, movie theaters, etc. And then Raleigh and Durham are also relatively close if you want to do more city-ish things.

5. As far as the transition from high school I honestly really can’t compare the two. The freedom  that comes with the way your schedule in college is is amazing. Personally I don’t really have many gaps between classes because I prefer to just knock ‘em all out in a row but when I do have time there are tons of places on campus to chill and get work done or grab food in between classes. Also, depending on which dorm you’re in (My dorm is going to be a freshman dorm next year so maybe you’ll end up here!!) you might be close enough to your classes to just go back to your room in between them. My classes are a ~5 minute walk away so I’ll come back if I do have a long gap of time.

Damn. Okay I hope that helped, if you have any more questions don’t hesitate to ask and if you end up coming here (you should) shoot me a message this fall and I can be your first friend on campus :)

[1-800-i-ship-it]

Yeah, it is about time you went to sleep. It's about 2300-0100 there, right?

Anyway... I do like sending you asks. You're fun to talk to (I've smiled an inordinate amount since finding your blog) and it's not like there are man comic-based ORV blogs. I don't want to read the novel because it is notoriously poorly translated and I don't want to get spoilered too much😣 - bi panik YJH anon

hi anon!

:sweats: so add a couple hours to that timestamp...and u will be close LMAO, but, u are pretty close i suppose, if we round a few hours xDD (cue all my friends telling me i dont sleep xD ive also been told multiple times that i live in a different timezone, mostly by my family whos prob annoyed w/ my wacko sleep schedule bahaha (also sometimes i have to do forum posts for classes, and then theres typically this lull in timestamps btwn 3-6 am, and then theres me with like a 5:15 am timestamp LMFAO i just pretend my TAs think i actuallly do live in a diff tiemzone or they think i wake up early (i havent woken up that early in over a year))) <- damn thats a lot of chins xD gotta close my parentheses properly tho cause god knows PEMDAS is gonna come for me /j

okay anyways asljdfDJAFHLHEJJKDHSLF AHH OMG jkdsalfh hold on hold on aahhhhhhhhhhsadlfkjd real footage of me rn:

AAJKLAFDSSFL AASKJDFDL OIMGOD THATS SUCH A NICE THING TO HEAR?? thank u and im really glad i can make u smile!! <33 btw right back at u like i always smile when i see ur asks haha and ive alerady said tihis befoer but ur super funny too

ooh okay i see! thats totally valid, no worries ^^ (also tho i will warn i might spam a lot of spoilers (aka i get to rb stuff ahaha), after i am caught up with the novel so im sorry about that xD but i usually tag my spoiler stuff so it should be okay, and/or i typically put a big warning or smth haha) i do still have like 400 chaps to go tho lmao so dw; i also relate a lot to avoiding spoilers (guess which  dumbass went to ao3 tho and forgot that u could block the spoilers tag xD)

as for the translations yea i see what u mean haha it took a bit to get used to, but i think its alright, if u ever want to give it a try! (also the translations get worse after xxx chapter? idk but i have the ebook version thats supposed to be a bit better? havent gotten there yet (unofficial, dont worry i still go and do the support stuff on the official website haha)) but anyway yea tho go with whatever u would like to do :D

i will def still keep posting abt the webcomic tho!! :DD i love it so much <33 (and this totally isnt an excuse to post more kdj screenshots, no, not at all, and to simp for the amazinggg art; i actually like, just took a crapload of screenshots from the latest free ep ahaha i havent organized them yet tho)

thank u for the ask! ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

[destinyc1020]

You may have answered this before but what do you think about every couple in Hollywood being called PR? I don’t necessarily think fake relationships are as prevalent these days as it used to be . Social media kinda changed the need , clout chasing became so much easier . Also it’s kinda a thing that people date within the workplace right?

Hey Anon! 👋🏾

Lol yes, I've addressed the "every couple is PR" topic many times before on my blog.

Bottom Line: I really think that some fans in some fandoms use the whole "PR" excuse in order to cover up or nurse feelings of jealousy or anger at seeing their fave celebrity guy dating a woman who they perhaps don't think is right for him. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I notice they will also claim that the guy is somehow "trapped" 🙄 by the woman (or her family) in this "PR" arrangement, even though he's a GROWN adult male, simply because they just cannot fathom or wrap their heads around the fact that their fave celebrity guy just might actually LIKE the woman he's dating, and might even.... *gasp!* actually love her. 🫣🙊

While I DO think that there are SOME PR couples that do exist in Hollywood (Benana and Shawmilla def seemed like PR to me lol 🤭👀) , like you, I think they're actually more rare these days than fans realize. (Someone can feel free to correct me if I'm wrong)

I also think fans need to recognize the difference btwn a couple that is actually "fake"/"PR", vs. a couple that is a REAL couple that simply just uses PR to their advantage for their careers/buzz (ie. Which is what I sometimes suspect about Ben & JLo, and Austin & Kaia, for example).

Here are several posts I've made on the topic before down below.

Happy Reading!! 📚 😁🤭

[lair-of-books]

March found me a bit scatter brained in all things life & reading but I took this as a sign of adjusting to my new place & neighborhood. I did a little neighborhood exploring (for those who don’t know, I recently moved) & arranging in our new place. I finally unpacked the last bit of boxes but i’ll be honest, the sole motivator for that was the end of the month bday party I was having at home for my daughter. If I were pregnant (I’m not lol), I’d call March my nesting period & I was just waiting for the moment it would feel like home. Whelp, I’m fully comfortable now & moved on to the next stages of paint swatches *silent prayer to the universe*  which i’m personally intimidated by. Anyways, in the month of March I read 4 quality books, this seems to be a pattern lately (can’t break out of 4) but i’m hoping April will be a little different since I have Graphic Novels to read as well *fingers crossed*…

The Roanoke Girls by my Engel ★★★★ (4 Stars)

You’re Welcome, Universe by Whitney Gardner ★★★★★ (5 Stars)

Hunted by Meagan Spooner ★★★★★ (4.5 Stars)

Red Sister by Mark Lawrence (First Book of the Ancestor) ★★★★★ (5 Stars)

This is a 1st on LairofBooks haha! other than my Owlcrate & Book of the Month (view here) I actually did NOT buy any physical books *gasps* I know, shocking right? yeah well I think it was my subconscious telling me to chill cuz May 2nd is right around the corner & on that date my pockets will weep. Now, I can’t really say that I didn’t buy ANY books though…my Amazon Kindle deals addiction is very much strong & alive *no worries* I didn’t realize just how many e-book deals I jumped on but this wrap-up is a real eye opener LOL!…

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  Yea…so…a bit much but ummm at least they’re only taking up digital space? smh, i’ll do better in April though. I’ve already passed up some tempting deals & i’m quite proud of myself. Oh & The Chaos Of Longing was FREE so yea ;)

March sadly did not see me watching one of my most anticipated movies Beauty & the Beast. I hope to remedy that this coming weekend but don’t want to jinx it so i’ll leave it at that. I Did manage to watch 1 movie & 1 Netflix show…

Logan

I’m a HUGE X-men fan & even named my soon to be 3 year old son Logan after my fave X-men (close tie with Storm but didn’t think naming the kid that would help much). Every month, well at least once a month the hubby & I have ourselves a a date night & this was our pick. No regrets here! this is easily one of Hugh Jackman’s greatest films, his performance was on POINT! Dafnee Keen the little girl who plays X-23 is a perfect fit for the role & i’m very interested in seeing what is done with her story arc. Also very pleased to see a Latinx child actress on the screen for a change *whoop whoop*

This movie is Rated R for a change & I for one think this improved the cinematic quality overall. The fight scenes were def more intense & gory, just as an FYI there are no sex scenes in Logan. The story line was A+ & held my interest from start to finish. I was very emotional by the end & have plenty of questions but primarily…WHAT’S NEXT?!?! I’ve heard rumors of Fox producing a Marvel series with the children in this movie, not sure how I feel about that. I’d probably check it out but I’d much rather prefer a continuation on the big screen. Overall I rated Logan 5 stars ;)

Iron Fist

So…thoughts…I have plenty but they aren’t very nice smh. I have watched all of the Netflix Marvel series (Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Luke Cage) and really enjoyed them (Daredevil ssn2 was a bit meh for me). Iron Fist however was hard to watch & no I am not talking about the well known reasons that are being talked about on social media. I caught on to the discussion on twitter regarding Marvel’s decision to cast a white actor to fulfill the role of a “master of distinctly Asian traditions of fighting” (Link to NYT article) a bit late. What I do know is that the actor (didn’t bother looking up his name), is either a terrible actor or his character was written poorly. It felt awkward by episode 7, watching this character come off as dumb (i’m trying to be nice). He continued to come off as lost & naive from start to finish no matter how many times he was stabbed in the back. What sucks the most is that the supporting actors were actually good & I enjoyed their parts the most including the villains. To be honest, given how much of this show featured Asian traditions of fighting & how awkward Danny Rand (fictional name) came off explaining & “teaching” these traditions…I am also of the opinion that a opportunity was missed to feature a asian actor. Overall I rated Iron Fist a meh 3 & that’s simply for the supporting performances.

The Defenders Trailer with Easter Eggs

For those like myself who didn’t see much in the short trailer released by Marvel yesterday

I’m only 6 days late with this wrap-up/haul, record breaking! for the most part I am still seeing these posts on my timeline & will be making my rounds btwn today & tomorrow. If you’ve done yours please drop that link & I’ll swing by your corner of the interwebs for a chat. Have any of my bookish peeps read or watched any of the books/movies/shows I mentioned? if so, I’d love to hear your thoughts :)

March Wrap-Up & Book Haul March found me a bit scatter brained in all things life & reading but I took this as a sign of adjusting to my new place & neighborhood.

[destinyc1020]

do you think tomdaya is ever getting back together?

Ooof!! That is a very tough (and tricky!) question!! 😄 I’ll just be honest.... I don’t think that ANY couple should get back together again UNLESS they both: 

Still love and respect each other

Have talked honestly and sincerely with each other about the past problems/issues that led to their breakup in the first place

Have done some self-reflection on how they BOTH each may have contributed to causing the breakup and/or have made changes in life (if it led to issues in the relationship)

And have a clear PLAN as to how things will be different this time around in the relationship 

Otherwise, I’m not so sure if it’s a good idea for some exes to get back together. 😬   In answer to your specific question re: Tomdaya....  I honestly feel like with exes there is always a possible chance of reconciliation, especially if the cause of the breakup wasn’t due to infidelity, a betrayal of some sort, or a loss of love/feelings on either side.   So, with that said I guess there could possibly be a chance of a Tomdaya v.2.0 one day lol.  My gut has always told me (since last year actually) that Tom still has feelings for Zendaya. I can’t really read Z that well sometimes (she usually keeps things close to the vest), but part of me feels like she would have already shut him down long time ago if she had absolutely ZERO feelings on her side.  (just a thought) 🤷 I’m not 100% sure if Tomdaya will ever get back together again, but it would be interesting to see how a relationship btwn them would work out w/out fear or insane levels of hiding/lying/denying/damage control.  At the very least, it would be nice to see them have a genuine friendship again even if they never date again. :) I really do miss their friendship tbh.     So anyway, I can’t give a real firm answer to that question....sorry!   But now if they are BOTH 100% single come SM3 filming.... I could def see them being “friendly” again behind closed doors (if you catch my drift lol 😏), whether they actually decide to pursue a dating relationship again or NOT.    Idk why...just a gut feeling I get I guess lol  😄

[destinyc1020]

how confident are you that hunterdaya are not actually dating

So far, I'm still not getting "dating" vibes from HunterDaya. I mean,if ppl want to still ship them together then that's cool I guess?  But I get more "close friend"/"sister" vibes from the two of them. Again,this is just MY personal read on them. You're free to believe whatever you want Anon. It makes no difference to me. 

I just keep asking myself: Would Z feel comfy with Hunter being so close with another woman (even getting massages together) especially one that Hunter was supposedly linked to and dating last summer? 😳 Think about that. Would ANY new bf or gf feel comfortable with their SO spending such close moments WITHOUT them with an EX?? 😖  

Then,there's also the fact that Hunter is her co-star on Euphoria. Z already done dated JE from Euphoria....now you think she's dating yet ANOTHER co-star (who she could potentially undergo a breakup with in the future) from the SAME EXACT show??  How messy do y'all think Z is? 😕  Then she'd be avoiding TWO exes from the same show lol!😂 

I'm sorry,but I'm just not seeing it.  

Tbh, if Z isn't dating Tom again, I really think she might just be SINGLE y'all.  And that's perfectly okay! 😃   She might have learned a very valuable lesson in dating JE,and may just be taking time out for herself rn. I've always felt that Z needed TIME to just be SINGLE for like two seconds and really come to know herself better. (Real Talk)  She went from Trevor,then to Tom,then to JE....  Even though the gap btwn Trevor and Tom was a lot bigger than the gap btwn Tom and JE was, I still feel like after Tom She def should have just been single for a little while....or had a fling with JE,but not make him a "bf" (jmho).

I don't feel like she was in the right headspace when she got with JE imo. After they broke up I was actually GLAD that she didn't just jump into another rebound relationship with somebody. 

Z has a pretty busy schedule right now,esp with euphoria filming for 8 months,so maybe it's actually a GOOD thing if she is single right now. Perhaps she can just focus on work and her career right now,and maybe she will have more time for dating again after Euphoria stops filming?  Idk.... 

Bottom Line/TL;DR Version:

I feel like everyone is thinking: "Oh she must be dating Tom.  OR, if she's NOT dating Tom,then she must be dating Hunter or JDW, or Kendrick, or [insert whatever future co-star here]" 😒

 But how come nobody ever thinks that maybe...(just MAYBE?) if she's NOT dating Tom again, then perhaps she's just...SINGLE?? 👀

I know I joke on here that Tom and Z can't stay single for long lol, but hey,maybe they've gotten older now,and the pandemic has also changed their thinking on certain things?   

I'm still leaning more towards them more than likely dating each other again (there are just some things that have happened since August that seem to go BEYOND just standard "oh I'm cool with my co-star ex again"...just being honest),but if they aren't dating each other again,it could possibly be that Z is just single. I feel like that option is rarely ever explored lol. There's nothing wrong with being single guys lol.😅