#like. poly relationships are SO scarce in the media

[gay-impressionist]

ok but the fact that a show like riverdale ended with the main characters/ships being in a poly relationship is absolutely amazing

how far we've come huh

[bg3fandomcritical-active]

"I'm shocked at how little research larian seemed to do, or if they even cared to make it realistic/good"

Someone said on the old blog that the poly relationships in the game looked like they were probably written by a monogamous person and how they think opening up a relationship or going poly is like irl, without doing any kind of further research on the topic or consulting with real poly ppl. Some of the dialogues are downright bad and questionable, like confirming Astarion's insecurities that he's not enough if he doesn't have sex, and telling him you will have sex with Halsin because you're frustrated that he (Astarion) isn't fucking you anymore and his answer his yeah, whatever, go ahead?? I get they probably wanted to offer players options to be a dick to your partner, but when good, healthy poly representation is so scarce in the media, I don't think this is the place and time to write toxic poly relationships and accidentally reinforce negative stereotypes many have about poly people, like them caring only about sex and being obsessed about it, or inserting themselves in other people's relationships.

I hope Larian and other game devs who want to implement poly relationships in their futures games will write their characters to be poly from the very beginning of the game, and build their interactions with the player's character around that instead of what happened in BG3, where the only reason they eventually opted for poly is because EA fans were horny and wanted romance and fuck Halsin.

.

[bratty-telepath]

Something i like in your redacted universe, is that everyone is dating everyone

It's all over the place

Darren is dating Sam but Sam is dating Sadhil and Sadhil is dating Milo whose dating Darren whereas he's is dating Guy

And i think i still haven't got the full picture yet

It's the biggest poly relationship I've ever read about, and im all for it

The word dating doesn't seem real anymore-

I have not been on Tumblr a hot second cuz I was doing hot girl shit (my job+running my channel) BUT I'm here now to deal with my asks!

To be quite frank, this isn't even the biggest this network gets seeing as how most of the pack just dates each other in my head.

All this is mostly me being a multishipper and then being polyamorous so I just find ways to tie things together. None of it is supposed to make sense (as I've been told it would be a logistical nightmare, and it is) but it's mostly just for my entertainment so I say "fuck the timeline, fuck the canon and fuck order, I do what I want", ya know?

Really and truly, dating is just dating, relationships are fluid and people can have more than one relationship and it can be ok once everyone consents.

With hardly any poly rep in media besides a few scarce examples that don't get thrown to the side as a minor plotline or end with everyone dying–I've decided to take the dolls Erik put on the table and play with them.

[multifandomweirdo11]

Hello! This is my intro post for this Blog! 🎄🕎

This post will cover the fandoms I’m in and what I post on here.

•DNI ❌•

Zoophiles, MAPs, Proshippers, Xenophobes, Racists and Homophobes/Transphobes

• INTERACT PLZ 🫶•

Fandoms of these types of media;

YTTD — I LOVE YTTD. ONE OF MY FIRST DEATH GAME HYPER-FIXATIONS. (KeiSara and KaiSara shippers, especially, DNI.) WOULD LOVE TO DIVE DEEPER INTO THIS GAME, BUT SPOILERS SO.

Amphibia — I love this show SO much! The dynamics between Sasha, Anne and Marcy are immaculate and play off of the frogs, toads and newts so well; you have to watch this show if you haven’t yet. This goes for the whole list BTW. ^^

Owl House — I love this show, but I feel less of a connection than Amphibia because I watched Amphibia first ;-; THE BEST thing about this show is the characters. Amity, Raine, Hunter, Luz and Gus are the best characters IMO.

Deltarune — OMIGOSH PLZ TALK TO ME DELTARUNE FANS. TELL ME ALL OF YOUR THEORIES AND HC’s. If you cannot tell, I love Toby Fox games. Especially this one. I am Noelle (real) /j. Love all of the characters in this game. Not one I don’t like. (Maybe King -7-)

LOVE UNDERTALE. Don’t think I have to say that since they’re probably connected, (sorry Toby i just don’t trust you when you say that they aren’t ;u;) I will post about Undertale when we get news relating to the game!

Walten Files — Woah, if you’re reading this part this probably means you at least know what this is. Yeah that analog horror videos on YouTube. Also TW if you watch this… Uhh, used to be really into this one, but my interest has faded. I will be all over TWF4 whenever it comes out, but until now I’ll be posting about it scarcely. (SOPHIE AND JENNY KINNIES I SEE YOU OUT THERE.)

Disventure Camp — YES, THIS IS BETTER THAN TDAS, TDPI AND TDA. And yes, that was my opinion ofc. Anyway, more about Disventure Camp… ALLY, TESS AND HUNTER ARE ALL IN A POLY-RELATIONSHIP. Again, my opinion, but it makes so much sense! I’ll ofc respect your opinions. Also Aiden and James all the way.

Also I will interact with some Total Drama content, but not heavily. (Dave, Cameron and Sky IRLS DNI.)

Danganrompa Another — SORA AND YOUROKO IS MY COMFORT SHIP. Respect to Weeby Newz (YT) for getting me into this amazing fangan. So much better than the Source material. I recommend this fan-game for everyone but HUGE TW for the first game and a even bigger one for the sequel. We all meme on Mitch here. (Anyone glorifying Mitch Higa without being ironic DNI)

Danganrompa Edens Garden — OOH THE PROLOGUE LOOKED SO GOOD. If you’re looking for a alternative from the problematic air around the Main Danganrompa games, look no further than this game. ME AND JETT DAWSON ARE LITERALLY DATING. but … if I can’t have him cause he’s not real … he can date Mark. BUT I WONT BE HAPPY ABOUT IT. /j (I’m also a MarkDawson shipper so <: )

Inanimate Insanity — POSSIBLY MY OLDEST AND FIRST HYPER-FIXATION?? Bright lights forever! Anyway,,, Plot and Pacing: 2nd Season. Quality: 3rd Season. Sorry not sorry, the First season is problematic and unfunny. Anyway Cabby can marry me. (/hj) This animated YouTube series is so good!

I also do like other Object Shows! BFDI and ONEhfj are some I love. the ones I will post about will probably II and TPOT

Dead End: Paranormal Park — I NEED THE BOOKS AHHH. Love this show for the amazing Rep alone. THAT ALSO GOES FOR THE OWL HOUSE AS WELL. The story is great. It’s somehow Realistic and Supernatural at the same time!!?!

Omori — I like this game! The story is intriguing and heartbreaking </3 My Omori phase is passing away, sadly.

More Info About me:

If you’ve scrolled this far, you prolly wanna know more.

I’m Gay (MLM) and use They/it/he pronouns ofc!

I’m into Graphic design and MIGHT be getting a vinyl sticker printer soon!!!

I draw on paper and IBIS Paint X. I do have a drawing tablet, however it’s difficult to set up, it doesn’t help that I have a pitiful dell computer that’s on the edge of deaths door ;^; xd

anyway, like just ask to talk! Always open to that. <3

[polyrolemodels]

Poly Role Models: Andy Eye

PolyRoleModels: So welcome to PRM, would you like to introduce yourself?

Andy Izenson: Sure! My name is Andy Izenson. I am a uh mediator and uh attorney. And I live in Brooklyn. Um I’ve been uh practicing polyamory for about 10 years and…

PolyRoleModels: Well that was that was my first question.

Andy Izenson: That’s all I’ve got. I really like…

PolyRoleModels: Well that was my first question. So what does your relationship dynamic look like?

Andy Izenson: Well at the moment, I would say it looks a little bit like- you know those- that uh that non-Newtonian material you make when you mix like corn starch and Elmer’s glue?

PolyRoleModels: Yes I’m-

Andy Izenson: Where like it kinda expands to fill the space available to it and it wiggles and poke it hard, it gets firm, but you push your hands into it gently and it gets kind of soft.

PolyRoleModels: I feel like this is the best explanation I’ve ever gotten for someone’s polyamory.

Andy Izenson: So it’s uh it’s not linear. It’s fluid and it’s complicated and it’s exciting. Uhm I have some partners that I’ve been with for a really long time. I have some that blast into and out of my life intermittently in brief explosions of wonderment. 

I have some that are close by and some that are far away. I have a very broad understanding of what love is and what a relationship is. And I try not to nail things down too much.

PolyRoleModels: Good answer. Um what aspects of polyamory do you feel you excel at?

Andy Izenson: Oh gosh, um, I’m really excited so you know the distinction that some people make is between parallel polyamory and what is called kitchen table polyamory. Where parallel is you have your relationships but they don’t interact with each other.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Andy Izenson: Kitchen table is everyone comes down to the table and has breakfast in the morning.And the latter is the kind that is really more my speed.

PolyRoleModels: Okay.

Andy Izenson: I think if I’m good at anything, it’s that I’m really lucky in the people that I have around me. Um because if uh If they’re such exemplary and incredible and brilliant people, of course they are going to have wonderful relationships with each other as well as with me. 

So it just positions me in this beautiful shifting complicated web of interpersonal relationships you know? That are- that are, some are sexual some are not, some are romantic, some are not, but the important thing is that everyone has each other’s back in whatever way makes senses for those individual people in the web.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah, my polyamory is the same way. So what do you feel like you struggle with?

Andy Izenson: Well I mean feelings are difficult, right? Like having feelings is the worst. Talking about feelings is challenging. Um and I feel like for a lot of us, there’s really a- a pressure to perform like everything is awesome all the time and you never have bad feelings because bad feeling means something is wrong. So lately I’ve been finding myself really challenged not to take bad feelings as a sign of a problem.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah

Andy Izenson: You know, I can feel insecure, I can feel scared, I can feel angry. I can feel um- I can feel anxious and the only thing that’s necessarily evidence is my own feeling. And I can’t deal with that feeling by pretending it’s not there, or by trying to shift the material circumstances of my world to make it go away. I have to actually address my feelings head on and using my words like a grown up.

PolyRoleModels: Got you.

Andy Izenson: And that’s challenging for many people. And it gets exponentially more challenging the more people are involved.

PolyRoleModels: Well the next question is how do you address it, but it sounds like you kind of answered that in there.

Andy Izenson: Well I think the way I address it is by- is with trust. Like if the reason that it’s scary to express a bad feeling or to express a fear or anxiety or you know, or anger. If the reason that it’s scary is because I’m afraid that my relationship isn’t strong enough to hold that negativity, or I’m afraid that you know my partner would only want to be with me if everything was fine and easy, then the tool to address it is trusting my partner, trusting the relationship, trusting the communication the relationship and knowing that it’s strong enough to hold those things even though they’re painful.

PolyRoleModels: Alright in terms of risk aware or safer sex, what do you and your partners do to protect one another?

Andy Izenson: Well we uh, everyone’s got their own practice. And so for the relationships that are sexual, um we have-um whenever anyone wants to change a you know, a part of their practice and everything that’s connected in there has to be informed and it’s really about everybody having their own agency in their body and finding ways that everyone’s personal practice and personal agency can fit together in a way that makes everybody- doesn’t push anybody beyond their own acceptable level of risk. 

And it is a complicated practice and sometimes it takes a lot of [adjusting] because safer sex conversations are never just about safer sex. You know, it’s never just about you know what barriers you’re using and what types of relationships you do or don’t want to use barriers with. There’s always more feelings underneath that about trust and safety and bodies, you know about sex and all of that comes in play even if you think that- even if on the surface level you’re just taking about latex.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah. Um what is the worst mistake you’ve made in your polyamory history and how did you rebound from that.

Andy Izenson: I uh I have made this mistake more times that I’m happy about and it’s the mistake of thinking that um that the feeling of love is strong enough to overcome any problem.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Andy Izenson: And typically there’s one problem that I keep finding that to be not true about and it’s the problem of a partner that’s not actually polyamorous.

PolyRoleModels: I see.

Andy Izenson: And I keep, in my history, I have repeatedly thought “this person loves me so much and I love them so much and we’re gonna figure out a way to make it okay” but it just- it always ends up with both partners feeling and having tangible evidence to suggest that they’re not enough. 

Because if my partner wants me to be monogamous with them, then nothing I can give them is enough to make up for the deficit they feel from me giving love to other people and they feel like nothing they can give me nothing you know, nothing about their love for me unless it’s evidenced to be enough by the fact of me becoming monogamous with could possibly be enough. 

And so I’ve- I’ve just followed that feeling of love um when the circumstances were- you know when that misalignment was there, um more than a few times. Because I just you know I was just so idealistic. I just believed in that love so much. But that is that has proved itself for me repeatedly to be a mistake.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah I definitely understand that. I’ve yeah, I know about that one. Um so what self-identities are important to you and how do you feel like being polyamorous intersects with those self-identities?

Andy Izenson: I would say that the first identity I would say is important there is uh that I would self-identify as anit-capitalist. And it’s my belief that capitalism and enforced monogamy are really tied together. Because we get taught by all of the culture and the media and stories that we get told. We get taught that love is finite. That when work and love work in a scarcity economy, there’s only so much to go around and you have to prove yourself to be worthy of it or else there won’t be any for you. 

And it’s completely ridiculous, but capitalism is an orthodoxy. It only works if you believe in it. And so it has to infiltrate every corner of our worldview in order to stay strong. And so of course it infiltrates our understanding of love. But I think we can start to liberate our bodies of capitalism by liberating our hearts from it’s orthodoxies. And if we imagine instead of being scarce that love could be abundant, it changes everything. And um if you think about it, it is completely ridiculous to imagine that love is scarce. 

If you light a candle with another candle, the first candle is not less on fire. And so I think in a practice of living in a way that is resistant to what capitalism tries to teach us, it’s about letting love be abundant and blossom into everything that it can be and not constrain it with the fear that is the substance of capitalism.

PolyRoleModels: Understood.

Andy Izenson: Yeah so I’m also queer and trans. And uh and those things are relevant both by reason of you know I don’t think living in Brooklyn and being queer and trans you really can be monogamous. I don’t think that’s really a thing. But also because both those things involve thinking critically about the stories that I was told when I was growing up about who I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to live. And uh and going through them and taking out the things that I actually wanted. 

That actually made sense to me. And keeping those and throwing away the rest and building something new around them. So in the same way as when I was young, everyone, you know, all of the stories that I was told about what my life was going to be involved monogamy, involved heterosexuality. They involved being a certain gender. They involved living a certain way and once you start, once you get sort of a crow bar in there and open yourself a little bit to the possibility that the stories you were told about who you were supposed to be might not be applicable or might not be real at all. 

They all sort come tumbling down and then you get this glorious opportunity to create the self that you actually want to be. And build yourself up. Um in a way that is critical of and resistant to the way that those blueprints are constraining.

PolyRoleModels: Fair, I’ve had conversations about masculinity with Bex Caputo of the Dildorks saying roughly the same thing.

Andy Izenson: Yeah, I love what Bex has to say.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah, yeah, we both do.

PolyRoleModels: Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc. that you’re involved with that you’d like to promote?

Andy Izenson: Uhm, well let’s see. I’m a I have a- there’s a law firm that I work at. It’s Diana Adams law and mediation. We do education and advocacy and representation for people in non-traditional and polyamorous and queer and chosen families. So we do family law but from the perspective of your family is what you make it. And we shift and uh tweak and change the law to fit what our families actually look like instead of trying to change our families to fit the law.

PolyRoleModels: I see. Is that limited to NY?

Andy Izenson: So the direct representation that we can do you know in terms of actually being somebody’s lawyer is limited to NY, but we do education all over and also the mediation and alternative justice stuff that we do is you know, that can go anywhere also. So you know helping families create family agreements and build structures for sustainability and mutual care um no that’s not state specific.

PolyRoleModels: Awesome.

Andy Izenson: The other project that I’m very excited about. It’s called The Res and it’s a queer and trans intentional community and land project in um in upstate NY near Poughkeepsie. I know you may get hate mail for me calling that upstate. It’s in the Hudson valley. Upstate is anywhere north of the Bronx.

PolyRoleModels: That’s how I feel about it. I grew up in the tristate area. So yeah, that’s my take on it to

Andy Izenson: Great and so that is that’s a project that I’m really- I’m really putting my whole heart into. It’s my own poly family that’s starting it and all of the- all of the work that I’ve been doing, learning about alternative justice systems and community building tools and communication tools and all of these things. 

I’m putting all of that towards building a community for us that is strong and resilient and sustainable and builds out of mutual error and trust. Uh and probably by the time this airs, it’s really gonna be up and running. In such a way that people who need to get out of the city can come and stay. You know, we’ll be hosting events. Will be you know, doing- having retreats. And uh I would love for you to see it, Kevin, it’s really beautiful.

PolyRoleModels: That sounds really good. That sounds like somewhere I want to visit.

Andy Izenson: You gotta come visit. It’s worth it.

PolyRoleModels: Awesome awesome. Hey, I really appreciate you taking the time, especially having just hopped off a plane ten seconds ago from Germany, so I appreciate the time

Andy Izenson: My jet lag is starting to fade, but it’s tenacious.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah, Yeah, fair so again thanks for being a part of this. Being a part of PRM.

Andy Izenson: Thank you and good luck with your book tour

PolyRoleModels: Alright, thank you.

---

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels