#like. people can't ACTUALLY believe this shit. not in the numbers these posts are getting

[captainjonnitkessler]

"White people don't have taboos against pedophilia" "Liberals think that 9/11 was a justified attack" I am no longer asking people to touch grass, I am asking you to have one (1) conversation with literally anyone who is not terminally online

[sergle]

yall are about to piss me off by not having any PASSING basic knowledge of the way the u.s. military manipulates its recruits into joining by typing up one of your uninformed, unresearched, unempathetic, individualistic, unbelievably annoying posts about how 100% of the people in the military ended up there because they just Love America So Damn Much! they're extremely mature and informed at time of recruitment, they can totally leave anytime they want, they totally had tons of other avenues in life they could've taken, there was no rush at all to get income as fast as possible, and everyone in the military also totally is part of the combat divisions and personally enjoys being IN the military very much, big believers of violence. everyone in the military is shooting guns all day, that's how that works. they LOVE BLOODSHED. also I love the "amewicans haha" twang to this type of shit because you're actually TOTALLY stealing our Thing, which is turning systemic issues into Individual Issues. Instead of talking about the powers that be, it's so Personal Choice up in here. It's, "well you shouldn't have done it then. I totally wouldn't because I know better." you don't wanna talk about the military industrial complex as a whole, and you don't want to talk about recruiters, you just want to pin the blame on Specific Individual People one-by-one, as if they're responsible for the system that they're being ground up in. someone was in the military? bad person, no matter what. it's easier to believe that, I guess, than to acknowledge that Normal People (with high school educations) are manipulated and incentivized into joining a system that is Bad. at like age 18. but yeah no that 18 year old should have just been smarter lol haha anyway here are some screenshots for no particular reason

side note this reply of someone going "umm just get loans and go into a high paying field it's easy XD" as a direct response to someone trying to explain how most americans joining the military are being funneled in that direction out of a need for money.

and another person who Decided that americans join the military just CLENCHING their teeth thinking of other people, and not thinking completely selfishly about their own selves and their own income/housing/healthcare.

[muwapsturniolo]

✯FreshLove for the Fit✯

pt1

Summary: Y/N decides to DM Chris after receiving threats and things start to escalate between the two.

Warnings: NSFW content, swearing, mentions of jerking off, titties are mentioned, dildos, masturbation.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Y/N was dying of laughter.

Two days ago, one of her favorite content creators decided to go on a spam spree and like all of her posts. She was confused, to say the least, then she became flattered.

Now here she is, full-on cackling as she reads the hate comments she's receiving.

12-year-old girls' calling her all types of names and sending death threats, all because Chris Sturniolo was most likely jerking off to her?

It's hilarious.

She starts laughing even harder when she realizes Chris unfollowed her and unliked all of her posts.

She decides to mess with him a little bit and sends a DM on Instagram

Y/I/N

yo, your fans are cray asf. you need to tell them to leave me tf alone.

Chris's heart dropped when he saw the notification. Y/N was DM'ing him? He hesitantly clicks on the notification and his mouth runs dry when he sees what she said.

He felt like shit.

He isn't dumb, he saw what some of the fans were saying to her online. He thought it was crazy they were sending death threats to her because he was horny and dumb. He decides to respond back.

Christophersturniolo

i feel like shit for the stuff they are saying to and about you. it's not fair at all and I'm sorry.

Y/I/N

LMAO, im playing with you. ion care about these little ass girls. they mad at me because you were horny and jerked your shit to me. shit is funny.

Chris can't help but sigh, and laugh in relief. He really didn't want Y/N to be mad at him.

Christophersturniolo

fuck you had me scared. I'm glad you're handling this well though.

Y/I/N

lmao, i can handle myself very well thank you

Chris finds himself being bold behind a screen.

Christophersturniolo

i like the way you handle yourself.

Y/N smiles and turns onto her stomach, kicking her feet as if she's a schoolgirl texting her crush.

Y/I/N

so i take it you like my content?

She knows he likes it, but she wants to see him admit it. Y/N was a bit cocky, she knows she's pretty as fuck, has a nice body, and that her content is one of the best.

She just likes hearing people say it.

Christophersturniolo

love it actually

Y/I/N

tell me what you love about it.

Christophersturniolo

i love that you wear my brand as your getting off. the way you tweak your nipples through the shirts as you shove the dildo into yourself, chasing an orgasm. i love the way your moans are soft yet so loud at the same time. Don't get me started on your thighs, id love to be in between them all day.

Both of them are staring at their phones, bodies shaking as they take deep breaths. this conversation took a turn none of them were expecting.

Chris can't believe he's talking to a CamGirl who could actually expose this whole conversation.

Y/N can't believe she's even talking to Chris. Hell, she barely has wrapped her head around the fact he enjoys her content.

Christophersturniolo

what would you say if i wanted you to call me

Y/I/N

i would tell you to check my stories tab for prices.

Not even five minutes later, Y/N gets a cash app notification for $200 with the message

"FT me and wear FreshLove."

There's a phone number attached and Y/N is shocked. Her FT prices are only $130 but he sent $200.

She copies the number before pasting it into the Facetime log and pressing the call button.

It rings three times before Chris picks up.

"They look good," both of them think to themselves.

Chris is wearing a pink hoodie that makes Y/N go feral on the inside. Pink is one of her many favorite colors and to see him looking so good laid out in it, she's clenching her legs. It doesn't help that his camera angle is low. She wonders if that's what he would like while his dick is in her throat.

Y/N is in fact wearing FreshLove just like Chris asked (it was more so a demand but that's not the point), and he's trying to contain himself. It was obvious the pink shirt may be a size too small considering it was hugging her chest tightly, allowing her pierced nipples to peak through. His mind is running wild as he imagines fucking her while she's decked out in his brand.

"Hi,"

Chris is shocked when he hears the tone of her voice. He doesn't know what he was expecting, but he didn't expect something so soft and dainty. No wonder her moans sound the way they do.

"Hey..." Chris responds.

"What did you want to call for?" for some reason, Chris is too shy to admit the real reason he wanted to call. How do you tell a girl you only wanted to Facetime, in hopes she fucks herself on her pink dildo so he can jerk off.

"I don't know."

Y/N tilts her head to the side as she looks at him, "I think you know you're just too scared to say it." Her words are taunting,

Chris doesn't like it.

"Not scared to admit anything. I just figured you wouldn't like me telling you to go ahead and grab that pink dildo and fuck yourself for me. I was raised to be a gentleman after all." Chris smirks seeing Y/N get shy. Although her skin is brown, he can tell there's a faint reddish tint to them.

He keeps going, "Don't act all shy, like you don't post yourself online doing the same thing. After all that is how I found you."

Y/N likes being degraded. It's one of the many kinks she has.

"But I won't have you do that, I want to get to know you first."

Y/N is shocked. usually, when she does these calls, the guys automatically demand that she strip and start playing with herself. Although this whole interaction will be transactional, it's a breath of fresh air for her.

The call continues, both of them laughing and talking for more than an hour. The conversations jump from topic to topic. One minute they are talking about music (Y/N was shocked when Chris hadn't heard of Jorja Smith), favorite foods, and movies.

Suddenly Y/N asks a question that's been on her mind, " Why did you send $200 when the price was $130?"

"Because I wanted to" he answers so quick and nonchalantly, it surprises Y/N.

"But you didn't have to, especially if we didn't do anything sexual." When Y/N looks back at her phone, she sees a smirk made its way across Chris's face.

"I have a proposition for you."

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

i actually hate this so much but i did want to put out a second chapter 😭 let me know if yall like it or what you want to happen. im very open to suggestions!!!

[tastesousweet]

⭒ blurb : podcasting

bf!hamzah x poc!reader

summary: based on this ask!!! little blurb of the times you pop up on the ooc podcast

mickey speaks: this was so funny to write!!! also i need to be hamzah's gf yesterday bitch

─────────── · · ୨୧ · · ───────────

hamzah having you in an episode with mandy and martin

“oh wow this couch gets kinda tight when four people are squeezed on here” hamzah says while adjusting a few pillows

“yeah,” martin starts before addressing the audience, “and, well, you’re probably wondering ‘who the heck is that?!’” he gestures his hand over to you, beside hamzah with your legs folded and knees lying against his thigh

you can’t help but smile as hamzah introduces you, “and, yeah, believe it or not i have a girlfriend.”

“i’m right next to you so i’d hope they believe it” give a soft giggle

“only hamzah would announce he has a girlfriend with ‘believe it or not’” mandy adds and hamzah throws a hand up in the air in defeat

★

martin: “i can’t help but think this feels like in middle school when people were just group dating all the time”

hamzah: “was group dating that common? i don’t remember that”

you: “i remember certain friend groups at my school doing that but i definitely wasn't participating”

mandy: “this isn’t really a group though martin, more like a double date? there’s four of us”

martin: "it's not all about numbers mandy sometimes there's just a vibe"

★

martin: “but you two have been dropping hints about dating for a while now”

you: “yeah, we’ve been doing a little soft launching here and there”

martin: “i like that term a lot actually”

mandy: “i think it’s cute, but i've seen a lot of people online that don't use it properly”

you: "i agreeeee, like you didn't soft launch by posting the back of his head if we already saw the front of it a week ago- we know who he is!!! there is no mystery"

martin: "oh so the appeal is the mystery... almost like scooby doo?"

hamzah, nodding his head: "mhm... exactly"

you: "it's always two dumb bitches telling each other-"

you and hamzah together: "exactlyyyyy"

martin looks over to mandy as the two of you laugh: "oh come on this is their first episode together and look at them mandy! we have to be cuter, come on. lock in."

hamzah: "hey no need to be jealous, my friend."

hamzah pats martins thigh

mandy: "so what was that right there?"

hamzah: "you wouldn't understand..."

martin: "no but seriously mandy you never soft launched me- only hard"

mandy: "there was no need to??? next time i'll do it i guess"

you, laughing: "next time???"

hamzah is sat in thought for an extra second before he replies to martin, making them both laugh

hamzah: “okay martin you said like that term so much? boy, now imma soft launch these nuts in your mouth”

you: "and i know you were thinking on that joke for a minute"

martin, through laughs: “okay, okay, enough”

hamzah, wiping his eyes: “well, now the jig is up. you know it's all aired out and public”

martin: “yeah... a hard launch on the podcast, that’s crazy bro”

you and mandy, mocking: “that’s craaazzyy brooo”

★

hamzah answering your call during a podcast

martin: “hamzah whenever you buy clothes from the store or get it shipped in the mail always wash your clothes!”

hamzah: “i do wash my clothes but if it’s new that doesn’t make any sense”

martin: “so you’re just gonna open it up and put it on?”

hamzah: “yes!”

hamzah’s phone starts ringing

martin: “and wow. now look who’s breaking the phone rule!”

hamzah: “stop shhh. it’s y/n”

he answers, hamzah: “hey what’s up?”

you see the mic in his hand and widen your eyes, you: “oh shit, i’m sorry to interrupt”

hamzah: “it’s okay i have something to ask you now anyway.”

you: "okayy.. do you wanna go first or me?"

hamzah: "you go ahead"

you: "okay quick- is this business casual enough for an event tonight?"

hamzah: "nobody is doing business lookin' that hot, you can't be serious"

you: "kay thanks"

hamzah, jokes: "you are not anyone's office siren, girl"

you: "i'm gonna hang up"

hamzah: "no!!! i need to ask if you wash your clothes after you buy them."

you: "if they smell like stale water and factory chemicals, yes"

hamzah: "martin is educating me on the importance of this unimportant thing right now."

you: "and you should listen to him, stinky"

martin: "thank you!"

hamzah: "oh nahhh, now i'm gonna hang up"

you: "mkayy bye, sorry for interrupting! bye martin!!!"

martin: "byee"

★

you drop something off at the warehouse studio while they’re filming

hamzah: "what was that noise?"

martin: "i don't know..."

hamzah: "it sounds like someone's actually trying to break in, what?"

martin: "were you expecting company?"

hamzah: "no, were you?"

martin: "no...i mean let's ask the audience"

martin turns to the camera, concerned

hamzah: "okay i'm actually about to go check. this is weird."

it cuts to a clip of hamzah sat again and you peeking your head in the frame to wave

hamzah: "nevermind. it was just my sweet girlfriend bringing us lunch, sorry if that scared you guys."

martin: "should we make like a super artifical thumbnail for clickbait? somethin' like; 'someone tried to kidnap us in our studio!'

hamzah: "no"

★

they have a trolling episode where you and mandy both sub in and act as martin and hamzah for an entire episode

mandy: "you know i find it crazy how we manage to talk about nothing for an entire hour"

you: "this is the talent people expect from us bro! and if we ever get too boring we can always discuss the state of sabrina and barry's relationship."

mandy: "true. and don't make fun of me but everytime man-crush monday comes around i'm always picking barry..."

you: "well if i can't make fun of you then i'll just stay quiet for your sake."

taglist -★ (some of u didn't ask to be tagged but have frequently liked my hamzah content lol, just lmk if you'd prefer not to be tagged!!!)

@sirenedeslily @333michelle @thatmartinkitten @@maybankfr @imsosillygoofylol @certainfestivalnerdshepherd

[nyaagolor]

How do you rank the prosecutors on order of homophobia

forgot about this in my drafts for literally months oops. Anyway. Finished now!!!!

So I made this post a while ago that has some of the prosecutors and antagonists, but if you want a ranking of EVERY prosecutor (not including DGS bc i haven't finished yet) huzzah!!

Simon Blackquill: Not actually homophobic but he gets points docked for siccing Taka (known homophobe) at Klavier (known bisexual) for stealing his pretzels from the office pantry that one time. 3/10

Blaise Debeste: I think he's gay but he made me look at that ugly ass beard for far too long and I consider that disrespectful. out of principle? 8/10

Sebastian Debeste: Just look at him. 0/10

Miles Edgeworth: Bratworth was simultaneously gay, homophobic, and a misogynist, and eventually develops into a man who is only like 1.5 of those things. he's getting better. 5/10

Byrne Faraday: I don't really think he cares much about gay people he's busy being a single father and stealing shit. For the apathy? 2/10

Klavier Gavin: He's extremely gay and does a lot of work for the gay community but making Ema Skye deal with him is explicitly lesbophobic so 4/10

Godot: He has a lovely wife but whatever he was doing with Ron DeLite was probably not osha-compliant. I don't know what that means for his sexuality or stance on gay people and neither does he. ?/10

Ga'ran: I think she has a lot of other problems she should deal with first but considered she's bigoted to defense attorneys I don't think her being homophobic would be that out of pocket. Not sure I want to find out. 7/10

Neil Marshall: Have you ever been a gay bar? This guy would do NUMBERS. Also, real cowboys support gay rights. 0/10

Gaspen Payne: Being homophobic is actually why he got fired by the prosecutor's office and Winston is really fucking embarrassed about it. 10/10

Winston Payne: You'd think he'd be homophobic but you can't work for the Japanifornia Prosecutor's Office and hate gay people or you would actually go insane. He's like that one suburban guy who uses terms from the 60s but has the spirit. However, his ally lapel pin is really ugly so 3/10

Jaques Portman: He was calling Edgeworth slurs even before realizing he was gay. 9/10

Lana Skye: Dated Mia in college but refused to explain that to Ema because she has a lot of internalized homophobia and other weird issues of self. Repressed yuri personified. 1/10

Nahyuta Sahdmadhi: He supports gay people but gets all his talking points from the internet so even though he's supportive he's also incredibly fucking annoying about it and no one wants to invite him to brunch because of it. Stop using twitter for fact-checking you jackass. 2/10

Franziska Von Karma: Despite the fact that her lesbianism is so strong it borders on misandry, I think she has a lot of internalized homophobia so she spends the first 25 years of her life being a judgmental little shit. She'll get better dw about it. I believe she can bring that number down with time. 6/10

Manfred Von Karma: I think when he finds out Edgeworth is gay he starts going to gay bars and picking up dudes just to show Edgeworth he has way more rizz than him. Considering how people in my notes have told me on numerous occasions how much they want him carnally, I think he could actually pull it off. In that respect I think he's done a lot for the gay community. It ends up cancelling out somewhat because I think he'd be kind of an ass about it. 4/10

[oceantornadoo]

hii! can you do what it would be like asking price to put pads on the shopping list?? and then when price goes shopping he has to call you to ask for what size ?? 😭😭 btw i love love your work, hope u had a good day💞.

im pretty sure you're referring to this post but i decided to make this price x reader so :) enjoy!

bsf marriage pact!price x reader, he's slightly creepy but he's sweet (this is actually a bit dubcon but its in good spirit)

you had had a shit day. actually, make that a shit week. emotional the whole time, feeling lonely, depressed, and with the weirdest cravings. right when you were about to call your best friend and rant about how terrible you felt, you had went to the bathroom and- oh.

that explains a lot.

and now here you were, sitting on the toilet for the past ten minutes, contemplating. you were completely out of all period products and your flow was so heavy there was no way you were making it to the store free bleeding or with toilet paper as a makeshift pad. of course, that's when john decided to call you (let's be real, who doesn't take their phone to the bathroom. don't judge.)

"evenin', duckie."

"ugh john, i told you not to call me that. its so annoying."

john grunted a chuckle into the phone, swiping a hand over his beard. "you love it." silence. he could practically hear your eye roll. "dinner tonight?" he was pacing his apartment, uncharacteristic for a man like him. calm, cool, collected. never when it came to you.

"can't, sorry. maybe in a few days." he grunted. "could order a takeaway?" you sighed in his ear, the sound a melody he craved to hear over and over again. on lazy saturdays and in-between small fights over laundry. baby steps, though.

"its just not in the cards tonight, john, i'm sorry." you were never like this, withholding information. even when you cancelled on him, it was with a long-winded explanation with the names of about seven people he didn't know and plans you didn't want to go to. "'s wrong, duck? got a hot date or somethin'?" he mentally crossed his fingers, not allowing a physical expression. he wasn't that whipped. not yet.

"no, im just sick. and tired." his muscles relaxed. he started putting on his boots and grabbed a fleece, something gaz insisted was not too tryhard for someone like him. "i'll run to the store and grab ya medicine, hm? what'dya need?" you sighed again, rubbing your fingers to your forehead. he obviously was not giving this up and you did really need pads...

"ill text you a list when you get there. thanks john."

"anythin' for you, duckie."

list: pads, advil, that one chocolate candy you know i like, something for dinner

shit. price had been with a woman or two, but had never had to buy her pads. of course, he'd never let it get to that stage, not when he had you to take care of. but now here he was, staring at playtex and always and what the fuck was a diva cup? he'd better call you.

"all ok, john?"

"ya didn't give me a color on your pads, duck." you giggled. of course he paid attention to the green versus orange pads.

"its pretty heavy so some of the overnight and extra daytime ones would work." silence.

"...there's numbers." your cheeks warmed. you couldn't believe you were talking about this with john of all people.

"god, john. this feels so embarrassing. so weird to talk about with you."

"why? gotta know this for the rest of my life, duckie." shit. he was referring to that night a couple weeks ago, when you confessed to him you thought you'd never find love. when he said he'd marry you in a heartbeat, just say the word. when you compromised by telling him if you were still single in two years, you'd go to the courthouse then and there. when you didn't see him turn and write the date in phone, just as a reminder.

"5, john. there should be a moon symbol or something. and then 3. should be green, i think?" he grunted an affirmation, putting the respective pads in his cart. he turned around, having said goodbye and ended the call, and was subsequently greeted by three women, staring. paused in their product selection, staring openmouthed at how nonchalant he was about buying pads.

30 minutes later he was at your place, groceries and takeaway in hand as he used his spare key to let himself in. "duck?" all quiet. he stalked through your place and noticed the light on in the bathroom. one, two, three quick knocks. "john?" "'s me. can i come in?" "no i- need you to get me something." he waited patiently. "can you go to my dresser and grab a pair of underwear. something ugly, lots of coverage." who was he to say no to a free invite to your underwear drawer?

john dropped the pads outside your bathroom door and headed to your bedroom. finding your dresser, he had to give himself a second. calm down, old man. they're all clean.

that didn't stop him from sniffing a few, reveling at the scent of your laundry detergent. he almost groaned at the scent, imagining you in them. even in the "unsexy" pairs, your curves clothed in cotton and elastic, wrapped up in a lovely package. all his.

john selected a pair with "lots of coverage", whatever that meant, and headed to your bathroom. he opened the door with ease, setting your pads down on the counter. you shrieked.

"john! im half naked, you need to knock." obviously, the sight of your bare thighs and the top of your mound peaking out was most welcome, but he was more concerned about getting you off the toilet and putting food in your belly. "jus' me, duckie. come on, show me how to do it." he gestured at the pads. he couldn't be serious.

you slowly unboxed them, taking care to cover your naked body as much as possible. even while moving slowly, your shirt still shifted and he caught glimpses of your pretty pussy. an image for another day, when you weren't in pain. he focused on your fingers, deftly putting the pad on your underwear with years of practice. he memorized how you placed the pad, ensuring it stuck to your underwear before tearing the paper off the wings and tucking them on the other side. you looked up at him and he nodded, mission complete. "thank you, by the way." he kissed your forehead, so quick you could have missed it in a blink.

"turn around, i have to put it on." he sat back on his haunches, staring. "go'on. 've gotta learn somehow." you were too tired to care, ready to devour your dinner. you missed his hungry gaze as you revealed your cunt to him, wanting even though it was covered in blood. you missed his fingers twitching as you slowly pulled on your underwear, fabric caressing your skin like he yearned to. you got up, flushed, and washed your hands, missing how he tucked his fingers in belt loops and leaned back into the wall, a move he'd done many times in his tac vest.

"thank you, john. truly." he gave you a grin under the muttonchops, all satisfied. task finished, mission accomplished. you had asked him to do this, a husbandly duty. after you dried your hands, you made a move for the door, but he stopped you with a hand to the jaw. he brushed his beard against you, feeling the shiver in your bones. his mouth hovered near your ear, accent coming out low and sultry. "anythin' for my future wife, duckie."

--

ngl this got a bit weird but i like it??? had to struggle to not lean into my simon riley weirdness tendencies as im still learning john as a character.

[therealplaguedoctor]

Never do a shoey.

Daniel Riccardo x Podcast.host!reader

Summary- classic case of he fell first and also fell harder. So y/n is a popular podcast host known for interviewing/having really famous people on her podcast. She was reached out to by mclarens media team to have their two drivers on the podcast. The episode did really well and mclaren invited Y/n to join them that weekend for the Miami Grand Prix! Where she meets a fan of hers that she just so happens to be a fan of... what will happen? Will they get together for just the podcast? Or will there be more?

Warnings- suggestive implications, mention of 'love' marks/bites, alcohol

Stupid warnings- reader is in Florida (surprising i know), author is a dumbass and pretends she knows shit(she doesnt), American spelling, I never spell check, also has refs to some of my twt moots 🫶

F/c- various people on pintrest

A/n- So I had this idea for a minute but I didn't know who to do it with so I had my moots on Twitter help me (hi guys!!) So thank them for the DR3 fic!! (Also i got lazy with texts dont mind it) And as always: sorry if it's ooc and I hate everything I write lol

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Y/n L/n a name that quickly rose to fame. She started to become famous on tiktok due to her 'face time' series. Talking about events in her life but acting as if the audience was a friend she was on face time with.

Y/n is known for her impressive conversation skills. She can hold and carry a conversation like it's breathing for her.

She had created a podcast as she rose to fame originally named 'facetime' which was scrapped after legal reasons. She changed the name to 'celeb seats' as she was able to secure an interview with YouTube and tiktok influencer 'Kallmekris'. She was able to continue this trend with having a celebrity on her podcast almost every episode-

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You closed the tab. They had just posted an article about you! You're a new type of famous now, the article was just a get to know you article. It was pretty accurate actually. It talked a bit how you rose to fame, then it talked about how you claimed that fame with your podcast 'celeb seats'.

The podcast you hosted was normally just you and one other guest, only a few times it was just you. Your guests were all celebrities, some more famous than others, some more liked than others.

But there is one main reason on why people enjoy your podcast: you're still a person. You don't act like your famous (whatever that means) and you prioritize your guest comfort over content. The main example is when you had YouTuber Markiplier on and had cut a large portion of it out. Him later talking on it saying something along the lines of 'she told me that she's going to cut that convo out. Cause I mentioned that I was iffy on people seeing it. She didn't ask she just said she was going to when I said I was iffy on it'. Him being a largely trusted person boosted your character and your popularity which widened your audience.

You were able to interview people from almost everywalk of life. Politics, actors, youtubers, streamers, tiktokers, voice actors, and even singers!

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Y.n just posted!

Liked by Billie.eilish and others

Y.n: great to have you on @/billie.eilish !! This episode of the Celeb Seats Podcast will be posted next week on Wednesday!

User1 OMG GURL HOW

User2 WHY CANT IT BE WEDNESDAY ALREADY

User3 I still can't believe that she has Billie's number

User4 WHAT

User3 It's in episode 12 she mentions it, it was her first QnA episode with the q: who's the most famous person on your phone!

User4 IMMA GO REWATCH THAT HOW COULD I MISS IT

Billie.eilish: thank you for having me it was a blast

Y.n 🫶🫶🫶

User5 I love them sm

danielricciardo oooo can't wait!

User6 WHAT DANIEL HUH?

View more

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You see the verified name pop up in your notifications. Clicking on the profile, daniel ricciardo, the name seems familiar, you then read a little: formula one driver. Huh, it was currently Saturday night. There was a race tomorrow you decided to give it a watch setting an alarm to wake you up for the race, you put down your phone and eventually drift off to sleep.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Daniel arrived early the next day at the paddock signing a few things and walking in, with his classic smile on.

He stepped up in front of the camera as the truck drove around the track for the drivers parade.

"Hello Daniel Riccardo" the journalist greeted

"Hey" he smiled

"So today is a big race today" she said "your home race and all"

"Yeah, it's always exciting you know?" He chuckled waving to the crowd

"Of course" she smiled "well we actually only have a quick question for you today: I'm sure you've seen it but people are surprised you listen to the Celeb Seats Podcast. Care to add anything?"

"Oh yeah" he smiled "I've listen to that podcast I think since the first episode it's actually really entertaining. And I think Y/n is a great host and I'd love to be on it"

"Alright thank you Daniel" she said as he stepped off to the side. As Oscar was next to get interviewed

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Your alarmed blaried in your ear. Turning it off you sat up and made your way to your living room and turned on the TV turning it to the EPSN channel. As you started making some coffee.

You sat on the couch as the race started sipping your coffee. You had to google some terms after they were said causing you to miss some overtakes. As the race wrapped up you turned off the TV and quickly went to YouTube and searched: formula 1 explained. Adding a few videos to a watch later playlist.

You quickly made yourself some breakfast before making your way to your office and settling down to start editing a video as well as finish the next episode of the podcast.

Deciding to take a break from editing you check your business email. Deleting the spam emails as well as the ones that were definitely scams. Before you glanced over a familiar orange logo you saw earlier that day. You clicked on the email:

Hello Y/n L/n

We hope this email finds you well. We have seen you podcast called "Celeb Seats" and we would love it if you were able to host our two drivers: Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri. We know you're located out of Florida and we have a Grand Prix later this year (may 3-5) in Miami. We would love to be able to invite you actually!

Sincerely, the Mclaren media team.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You quickly typed out your own email that basically amounted to:

I would love too be able to host them! Thank you for the invite I accept!

After a few messages back and forth you were able to set a date to record with enough time so you could edit and post it before the grand prix.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You were adjusting the angle of one of the cameras as you heard a knock at the studio doors.

As you settled down after adjusting the mics in front of them.

"Okay," you said "Welcome to the Celeb Seats Podcast I'm your host Y/n. And today we are actually joined by two people" you motioned over to them "both formula one drivers for mclaren, Lando Norris" you motioned to him "and Oscar Piastri" you then motioned to him.

"Hey" Lando said

"Hello" Oscar smiled

"Okay so this is actually the first episode with two guests so let's see how it goes" you chuckled

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

After calming down from laughing "okay okay we" Lando motioned between him and Oscar "have a question for you"

"Shoot" you smiled

"Well you did mention earlier that you watch a little bit of formula one" he said as you nodded "well who is your favorite driver?"

"That's tough" you said "well hmm, I'd want to say Logan cause he's you know he's American" you chuckled "but I'd have to go with the other aussie, Daniel Riccardo. Sorry Oscar" you chuckled

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Y.n just posted!

Liked by mclaren and others

Y.n: Guess what! I know I normally post as soon as the episode is recorded but I had to wait to post this 🫣. But I had both mclaren formula one drivers on my podcast! @/LandoNorris and @/OscarPiastri, thank you for joining me!! This episode will be out tomorrow before media day!!

User7 HOW

User8 SHE ALWAYS GETS EVERYONE ON

Mclaren Thank you for taking care of our boys 🙌

Y.n it's no problem!! They were entertaining to say the least!

User9 I LOVE HER SM

LandoNorris Thanks for having us!!

Y.n it was great to have yall on!!

OscarPiastri Best interviewer ever!!

Y.n you just wanna become my favorite driver?

OscarPiastri ...maybe

Y.n dw Osc you'll always be in front of Lando

LandoNorris WHY AM I CATCHING STRAYS

User10 I love the bickering

User11 they are all siblings your honor

User12 wait...

User12 WDYM HER FAV DRIVER SHE WATCHS F1???

View more

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Daniel was happy about another podcast episode dropping he put it on and started his work out. He was taking a break when he almost choked on his water. He was your favorite driver.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You were walking through the paddock making your way back to mclaren hospitality with Lando. You two walked side by side before Lando tapped your shoulder and said:

"Hey let me introduce you to some of the other drivers" Lando smiled innocently. There was nothing innocent about that smile.

"Hey Daniel" Lando waved to a man you recognized, Daniel Ricciardo, your favorite driver. Oh fuck you Lando you thought to yourself. Lando then motioned at you "This is Y/n L/n she's a guest for Mclaren this weekend" Daniel looks over at you, fuck he's kinda hot. "And y/n, this is Daniel-"

"-Riccardo yes I know Lando" you chuckled

"Wow I was just trying to be nice and introduce you two" he huffed, you just rolled your eyes and turned your attention to the tall Australian.

"Nice to meet you" you smiled "I don't know if you watch my podcast but I mentioned that you're my favorite driver"

He nodded quickly "yeah I'm actually a big fan of you podcast" he smiled "I've been watching it since episode 1"

"Wait that long?" You asked a bit shocked that he watches it

He smiled "yeah!" He said "I was actually listening to the most recent episode while working out and I almost choked on my water when you said I was your favorite" he said scratching the back of his head a little bit embarrassed

You laughed, he smiled.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Media day by passed way to fast. You wished you could spend more time with Daniel but he had practice the following days so sadly you couldn't.

Sunday

The race had began. Each lap passed the next one faster than the last. Next thing you knew you were celebrating with his team in the garage. Lando had just won the Miami grand prix, his first race win.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Y.n just posted

Liked by mclaren and others

Y.n thank you for the invite mclaren 🙌. Can't belive I was there to celebrate this first win for @/LandoNorris congrats man, you deserved this!!

User13 ONE OF US ONE OF US

User14 NEW F1 INFLUENCER

Mclaren you were great company!! We'd love to have you again

Y.n stopp I'm blushing 🤭🤭

Mclaren 🧡🧡🧡

Y.n 💙💙💙

User15 mclaren admin and Y.n flirting was NOT on my 2024 bingo card

AlphaTauri You should visit our garage..

Y.n is that an invitation 🤭

AlphaTauri ...maybe 👀

User16 ARE WE GONNA IGNORE THE LAST PICTURE

Y.n yes

User16 OMG HIIIII

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──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Lando had invited you out. In Miami. After his first win. You should have known how wasted youd get, too say the least. You and a small group of his friends went club hoping. The night was fuzzy, but everyone in that group drank their weight in alcohol and then some....

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You woke up with a killer headache making you remember the highlights of last night: the dancing, the clubs, and the fucking alcohol.

The room was plastered in darkness which you thanked the blackout curtains you invested in. You went to get up but couldn't. You were held down by something around your waist. Or someone.

The arms that were wrapped around your waist were strong. You tried to escape them again, which just made them tight around you and the man next to you burry his face in your back.

You thanked God that you were clothed, thankfully in your own pants but the shirt was definitely not yours.

The man let out a groan as he moved, you froze before closing your eyes and pretending to sleep. The grip around your waist loosened as you feel the man move slightly. Based on the movement he was on his back. He began to move again sitting up, you felt his body heat leave which left you a little colder.

You moved slightly as being frozen there was a bit uncomfortable. This movement in turn caused him to freeze:

"Did I wake you?" A familiar voice asked you. No fucking way.

"No" you said softly as you shook your head sitting up.

As your eyes adjusted to the darkness and you looked the man in the eyes your suspicions were confirmed: Daniel fucking Riccardo.

"Well good morning I guess" you said, if there was even a little bit of light in the room it would show you being beet red.

"Mornin' " he muttered in response "well uh" he said "fuck, what do we do know?" He asked

Which just caused you to start laughing

"What? What did I say?"

"No, nothing" you said "just funny"

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You stood in your bathroom as you looked in the mirror. Daniel offered you to shower and get new clothes on first (mostly so he could get that shirt back). As you stare at yourself in the mirror hand tracing the love bites and love marks that covered your body. Damn. You thought to yourself.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You awkwardly handed him his shirt after you exited the bathroom. He thanked you as he grabbed it and walked into the bathroom going to take a shower himself as he stilled smell of alcohol and the late night activities.

You walked into your kitchen not knowing what else to do you started making breakfast. It was pretty basic: toast, eggs, and some sausage.

Daniel exited the bathroom, his hair still a bit wet. He looked even hotter than before, how is that even possible. Shaking your head of those thoughts you slid a plate across the counter in front of him. You both ate in silence before he spoke up:

"Do you remember anything from last night?" He asked

You shook you head "I remember getting drunk but no I don't remember what your referring too" you said

"I don't either" he said softly munching on a peice of toast

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

After a little bit and a extreme amount of awkwardness Daniel left. It was weird you house almost felt empty now that he was gone.

It had been a few hours since Daniel left before you got a text:

??- hey this is Daniel, I asked Lando for your number I hope that's not weird

Yn- No it's not,

Daniel- good lol

Daniel- so I just wanna talk about last night real quick....

Yn- let's just not mention it again like ever

Daniel- agreed.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

After that awkward first string of text messages you actually started talking to Daniel. It started off with just some comments on his racing or one of his posts soon you were texting him almost everyday. Text turned to calls, some calls turned to facetimes.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

"Hey Danny" you smiled as you answered the face time placing your phone back on the counter facing you as you cooked.

"Hey y/n" he said, "what are you making today?" He asked

"Well I'm making this stir fry-" you started "wait what time is it for you?" You asked him

"Uhhh doesn't matter" he said the screen to your phone was almost completely black. You could only see bits of his face.

"Daniel" you said in a warning tone

"It's, 1am" he said muffling himself as he talked

"Daniel-" you started. "You litterly have a race tomorrow. Go to sleep"

"But-"

"Nope you need to sleep before the race"

He huffed "fine." You heard a little bit of shuffling before a quiet "goodbye"

"Good night danny" you said before grabbing your phone and hanging up the face time.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

"AND LEWIS HAMILTON WINS THE BRITISH GRAND PRIX-"

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

After the celebration you got up and texted Daniel:

Yn- tell yuki I said congrats on points!

Danny- I get no congrats... 🥺

Yn- maybe if you went to sleep earlier youd be in points and you'd get a congrats too

Danny- :(

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

"Danny isn't it like past midnight over there or something?" You asked, you two were currently facetiming eachother again, while you worked on editing the next episode of your podcast.

"Yeah" he yawned "but I like talking to you" he said groggily

A notification popped up on your phone as soon as you looked over, "what the fuck?" You said

"Hmmm?" Danny asked

"Carlos just signed to Williams"

"What" he asked "he what? Williams" you heard some shuffling as he checked his phone looking through Twitter. "Damn" he chuckled "glad I was up to witness this with you"

"Youre just trying to get out of me scolding you" you chuckled

"...maybe" he smiled "well hey if I was over there I wouldn't have to stay up" he said sleepily

"You just want to be on the podcast huh?" You joked

"Maybe" he smiled "come on let me be on it"

You smiled "okay okay" you chuckled "I actually have recorded a bunch of episodes for over your summer break so, you can come over anytime"

"Really?" He asked hopefully

"Yes Danny" you said as you went back to editing. "Just schedule a flight and let me know how long you want to be here"

"What if I wanted to be there the rest of the summer break?" He asked

You freeze a bit in surprise but before he could say something you spoke "I wouldn't be apposed"

He smiled as he hummed softly. Soon you heard soft snores coming from your phone.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You heard a knock at your door. You walked over and opened the door a large smile on your face. As you opened the door to: Daniel Riccardo.

"Hey Danny" you smiled letting him inside

"Hey" he smiled walking inside nodding a quick thank you.

"Here let me show ya to the guest room" you smiled shutting the door behind him

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

BREAKING NEWS: DANIEL RICCARDO SPOTTED LEAVING AN AIRPORT IN MIAMI BEFORE HEADING OUTSIDE THE CITY

User17 HWAT WHERE IS HE GOING???

User18 it's probably a media thing guys

User19 WAIT ISNT Y/N BASED OUTSIDE MIAMI???

User20 PLEASE YOURE FEEDING MY DELUSIONS

User19 😭😭😭

View more

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

Y.n just posted!

Liked by danielricciardo and others

Had this guy on my podcast he said he is a famous f1 driver...I don't see it 🤔

But anyways- it was great having you on the podcast @/danielricciardo !! As always look out for these upcoming episodes!! (had to rearrange my posting schedule for this man 😒)

User21 I KNEW IT

User22 dieing. Dead.

danielricciardo thank you for hosting me!!

Y.n it was great having my fav f1 driver on!

LandoNorris :(

Y.n know your place, youre behind Osc

OscarPiastri :D

User23 SHE CALLS OSCAR OSC IM CRYING

Frankie THE DANIEL PICS THANK YOU YN

Shelbyrose Get back in the cage

Olivia kinky.

Nics 😰😰😰

View more

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

"Okay" you said adjusting the mic arm in front of you as you sat down. Clearing your throat you start:

"Welcome to the Celeb Seats Podcast I'm your host Y/n, and to day I am joined by: DANIEL RICCARDOOOOOOO" you smiled

"Y/nnnn L/nnnnnnn" he said back

You chuckled "it's great to finally have you on"

"Great to be here" he smiled "sad I can't say that I'm the first f1 driver on the pod"

"But you can definitely say your the favorite" you chuckled

"True" he smiled

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

"Okay okay" you said as you breathed stomach hurting from laughing, you turned to the camera "Thank you for joining us for this episode of Celeb Seats! We'll see you later!"

You got up and stopped the recording on the cameras as well as the mics. "So what ya wanna do?" You asked Daniel as you packed up the camera

"Well I don't know what you have around here" he shrugged "you have anything in mind?" He asked

You smiled "You don't mine if we go on a bit on a trip before we get there right?" You asked

He shrugged "I think I'd live" he chuckled

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

As you pulled into the small dirt parking lot Daniel looked at the tall trees that surround it.

"Welcome to Highlands Hammock" you said "we don't really have mountains or the like for hiking trails but we have these cypress boardwalks" you smiled as you both got out of the car.

You two slowly walked the boardwalk, you pointed out the different types of trees, some animals and other plants.

"I love cypress swamps" you smiled "they're so beautiful" you chuckled

Daniel who was right behind you whispered "yeah beautiful" as he looked at you

"Hmm what did ya say?" You asked turning to face him

"Oh nothing don't worry" he smiled

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

You kinda forgot when you got here but you both ended up at a small park next to a lake. Sitting on a small bench as you watch the sun set across the lake and eating ice cream.

"This was nice" Daniel said

"Yeah" you smiled looking up at him

He looked back at you. You stare into eachothers eyes.

"I wouldn't mind spending all of summer break like this, with you" Danny said

"I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with you" you said

With that you leaned into eachother, lips touching you melted into the kiss. His lips were slightly rough but the kiss was gentle. He placed his hand on the side of your neck just under your jaw.

The kiss broke.

"God I've been wanting to do that for so long" he said

You chuckled "me too"

"So can I call you mine now?" he asked

"Yes you can, but I will never do a shoey" you said

Causing him to laugh before pulling you into another kiss.

You did in fact ended up doing a shoey. It was fucking disgusting. Never do a shoey.

Fin.

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

[kai-anderson-whore]

The summoning (jmp x tate Langdon x reader smut)

Summary: you had always been fascinated with serial killers and true crime, one day you decided to try and summon your two favourite killers

Warnings: smut, three way, oral (tate receiving), p in v sex, doggy style 😏, summoning a ghost, ouija board,

Word count: 1,3k (another short one it was supposed to be longer)

A/n: this is a request by @villains-are-hot, thank you for the request and once again I apologise that it was very rushed at the end and I took ages to post this 😊

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•.

For as long as you could remember you had a unhealthy obsession with true crime/ serial killers. Some may say it's far from normal, it was frightening. You knew stories of cases watched all the documentaries and more.

Some people say it's the type of obsession you hear killers having before they kill. You didn't care it was a interest that you were so passionate about. You preferred learning about serial killers, how their mind works, what drove them to do it. The ones you liked learning about the most was Tate Langdon who got shot dead in his bedroom after shooting up his school one day in 1994. And the other was James Patrick march a well known serial killer from the 1920s to the early 1930s. Legend has it they both still reside in their place of death.

You didn't know if that was true or not, you visited the hotel that James Patrick march resides in but nothing, you couldn't exactly go to the murder house since people live there. It intrigued you deeply, the thought it could be true or not.

You didn't know what you were doing when the idea popped into your head, you thought it won't work but it was worth a go. Now researching things to do, how to summon ghosts, some where a bit far fetched others seemed fake but you were willing nonetheless. Finding a method writing down everything that had to be done.

You sat in front of the oujia board your fingers delicately on the triangle piece. You took deep breaths trying to stay calm circling the board three times before saying "James Patrick march and Tate Langdon I invite you to this space" waiting a few seconds you felt eerily quiet and cold.

"Is there anyone here?" You asked the board, you felt something pushing the triangle to yes, you gasped in shock now feeling nervous but your fingers still remain on the piece. "How many sprits are here?" You then asked feeling uneasy slightly regretting your decision. The piece moved to the number 2 you didn't know if it was you or if it was actually two spirits here but you slowly asked your next question "w-who are you?".

The board moved to around spelling out two initials JMP and TL you gasped removing your hands from the board standing up. Completely forgetting to say goodbye. You immediately grabbed the board putting it away "what the fuck, it's probably me doing it it's got to be" you whispered to yourself.

"Not quite dear" a voice chimed making you yelp in fright. "What the fuck!?" You turned around seeing two guys there awfully familiar to you, they looked identical like discrete descent, "w-who are you?" You asked in fear.

"I'm James Patrick march and this is-" "Tate Langdon" they said, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion "you're both dead no this can't be true." You couldn't believe what you were seeing they looked exactly like the killers you knew so much about. "How are you here?" You asked a thousand questions running around your head.

"Well you summoned us" Tate chuckled pointing to the ouija board. That's when you realised "shit I forgot to say goodbye" mentally cursing yourself, "it's quite alright dear, but I must ask how did you manage to get us free?" James asked.

"Dude she used the ouaji board to get us out" Tate said like James was dumb. "That's fascinating" James eyes light up "I don't know how we could ever thank you" James added. Tate's eyes on you like you’re his prey, swallowing a lump in your throat as his steps grew closer to you from behind. "I've got an idea" Tate's breath on your neck sending shivers down your spine. "Y-you don't need to thank me" your voice was above whisper unsure what they mean.

"Well boy enlighten us with your idea" James's velvety voice made you shiver more. You couldn't deny they were both very attractive despite their tendency to killing. "Well she's pretty isn't she? Don't you agree?" Tate smirked his hands running down the soft skin of your arms. "I do agree with you she is quite remarkable" James agreed beckoning his steps closer to you.

You didn't know if your body was filled with fear or anticipation maybe both. Closing your eyes feeling their breaths breeze across your features. James colds fingertips grazing gracefully along your bare arms bringing goosebumps to their wake. "I think we shall reward her for setting us free from our eternal resistances" James smirked his pencil moustache raising up.

"I was thinking the same" Tate chuckled with a devilish smirk, you didn't know what to feel scared? Or turned on? Maybe both. Feeling their cold hands on you but you didn't protest instead you let out a small sigh tugging on your shirt removing it from your body your head felt like it was spinning feeling their lips on your neck. You felt yourself being guided to your bed. Seeing Tate now above you with a mischievous smirk on his face.

You didn't know where James was until Tate pull away from you, seeing James now in his briefs flipping you over on your hands and knee. You whimpered in anticipation for what's to come feeling James's cold fingers hooking into your underwear peeling the fabric of your underwear off you and into the floor. Tate in front of you his impressive length in-front of you, holding yourself on one hand stroking him, earning a low groan erupted from his mouth. You felt cold fingertips teasing your folds collecting your arousal bringing it to your clit circling it in slow torturous motions.

A small gasp left your lips, your body automatically responding to James's touch "that's it dear" he says huskily, Tate still knelt infront of you his eager length desperate for attention. You took Tate's cock in your hand stroking him kitten licking the tip making him buck his hips into your touch more. You took Tate in your mouth swirling your tongue along the tip, gasping as you felt James enter your heat.

James thrusted into you slowly you moaned against Tate's length. A low groan rumbled from his throat his hips bucked further in your throat. James thrusts grew more faster and harder, tears forming in your eyes. "Fuck" Tate hissed his hips essentially fucking your throat.

"You feel wonderful darling" James hissed his grip on your hips tight, nails digging into your skin only adding to your pleasure. "Fuck" you moaned feeling Tate twitch in your mouth signalling you that he was close. You kept your movements along Tate's cock till he releases into the back of your throat, swallowing every drop. James kept his movements thrusting harshly into you you felt close to the edge "I'm so close" you moaned. Tate was watching you and James with a smirk, his skin flustered. James didn’t stop his movements hitting that spot guaranteed to make you see stars.

With a few more harsh deep thrusts, your body trembles, back arching releasing over James’s length trigging his own release deep inside you. His thrusts became sloppy till they came to a halt. Trying to catch your breath “that was something else” you chuckled. James and tate shared a wicked smile between them, “oh we’re don’t done, we’re only getting started” Tate’s voice make a shiver run down your spine waiting on what’s to come.

[avatar-anna]

Rumors

so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!

yourinstagram

liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others

yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music

yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!

y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?

yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))

harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.

harryfan3: HARRY???

harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg

y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it

harrystyles

liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others

harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.

harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT

harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE

harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?

y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together

yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx

y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT

harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting

harryfan13: honestly...here for it

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others

y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!

"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."

y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her

y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house

y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense

harryfan13: girl...

y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no

harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist

y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together

harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!

harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with

harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?

harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross

y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭

harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹

hsupdates

liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others

hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:

"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."

harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates

y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course

y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good

harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭

y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼

liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others

yourinstagram

yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl

y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??

yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶

y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!

y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again

harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?

y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws

harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA

harrystyles: ☀️☀️

y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?

harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all

harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES

y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together

Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?

Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.

I: Really?

H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.

I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?

I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.

H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.

H: It's hard not to.

I: How so?

I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.

H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.

H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.

H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?

harrystyles

liked by jeffazoff and 4,211,323 others

harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.

harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭

harris_reed: little angel👼

harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU

yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐

harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐

yourinstagram

liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others

yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))

harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!

harryfan4: is she in ny??

y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today

harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship

harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.

harryfan3: they're so...

y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not

y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them

harryfan5: ^^

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan10 and 3,742 others

y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!

y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"

harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭

y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!

harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?

y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS

harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says

hs/ynupdates

hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.

harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?

y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅

y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it

y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹

yourbandinstagram

liked by taylorswift, harrystyles and 710,225 others

yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!

y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT

harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night

harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.

yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭

I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.

Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.

I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?

Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.

I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?

Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.

I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?

Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.

I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?

Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.

I: So just a friend then?

Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.

[r0-boat]

WHB Kings with audio accounts

Back on my audio account bullshit

Cw: NSFW, mentions of darker content but not specific, whb is its own trigger warning lol, but also some silly things (My bad a lot of silly things)

Satan

"boyfriend beats you over the head with a metal pipe till you fall asleep.♥️" "Killing you sexually then killing you again"

His account is not serious. And the funny thing is that some devils would actually listen to it while they fall asleep.

The only other thing he posts seriously is ramble faps. His mic is god-awful You don't even know how these people listen to this shit but he's actually proud of the work he does. His favorite thing to do is making his own sound effects All his sound effects are 100% made by him 'organically grown' as he calls it. And by listening some of these audios you are terrified and don't want to ask what he has done.

Surprisingly he is really good at acting... As soon as he gets a better Mic his stuff somehow gets infinitely better.

Mammon

He firmly believes that humans and devils have a fantasy of wanting to be owned and he is there to fulfill that fantasy because he does in fact own everyone. Majority of his contents is some kind of script where he owns you in some way. All pictures provided to his audios are real pictures taken by a professional photographer. Some even have motherfucking animation.

And just a low low price of $2,000 a month you can access this content (Bimet's fault) But don't worry he sells each individual audio for hundreds of dollars. He considers this cheap.

He's one of the biggest audio accounts on the platform. Having one of his audios is considered a luxury, You're getting your money's worth from the ambience to the voice acting to how often he posts Oh boy. Each audio is an hour of content all good story like a damn movie.

His audios are far more than just smut They are works of art in his eyes. And those "works of art"are probably sold in the Tartaros Black market.

Leviathan

The only normal one. Hard to believe, But if he wants to do something he wants to do it right. He wants to blow out the competition stealing other ideas and making them better in his eyes.

He only started doing this because he caught you listening to some devil you found making a boyfriend audio and he was jealous. The only voice you should be listening to is his! He starts actually liking it however because people praise him for his beautiful voice and moans.

His audios have a lot of degrading a lot of roleplay fantasy where he is of course everything he wants to be. However a lot of his content are heavily influenced by you.

You talk about a singer you liked? Is next audio is a role play where he is a singer and you are his groupie. An anime character from that specific game? He will research the game make his own character based on himself and put himself in it for an audio!

Beelzebub

He has two types of audio. Food mukbangs is one of them. However the other type is Pure sin. A Beel audio can pleasure you just as much as he can in person.

Filled with dark content because he's fulfilling his darker desires desires he can't really fulfill with you because you are a human. But in these little fantasies he can do whatever he wants and imagine anyone he wants.

He does not add sound effects but his voice alone is sinful enough to get you wanting more. He will become too powerful if he starts adding fuck noises.

His mukbangs are just him eating different here He eats food with another devil and they talk kind of like a podcast.

Lucifer

Lucifer's audios are almost entirely dominant. He has a growing user base that wants to see him whimper and he does not want to feed them.

A lot of Lucifer's content stems from religious trauma corruption kink kinda stuff. Corrupted priest, to him as an incubus corrupting you.

He does have softer content He tries to keep NSFW and sfw equal numbered, and that content rages from weddings to honeymoon to first dates anything sweet enough to melt your soul.

He prioritizes telling a story more than anything else

[inkskinned]

im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Spirit Work Basics

You voted, I listened. I meant it. So buckle up as we go through the basics of Spirit Work.

I've touched on this on other posts but I'll make a massive post here. This is not going to explain everything and will still be pretty broad. Cause I do not have the time, the knowledge, nor patience to try and explain EVERYTHING.

But I do hope it helps.

Look under the tags advice, spirit communication, spirit work for more detail.

So hello, I'm Sol. I've been working with spirits since I realized I was speaking with them. I had the gift since I was a young child, first spirit I saw being my grandfather on my father's side shortly after he passed away. He was a pastor, supposedly, I was doing the best I could to repeat his favorite verses despite me being a small little shit. I don't remember the verses, I do remember speaking to him a lot however.

Which is where we'll begin, how to speak to spirits.

Maybe she's born with it? Maybe it's insanity~♪

Well, how do we begin with speaking with spirits? There's a number of ways, actually. Some do have the natural ability, like myself but that shouldn't discourage people who are newly trying and don't have that natural affinity for it. Spirits can and will talk to anyone if you open yourself up. Just takes a bit of work. But Sol, you may ask, how do I do that?

If you've been on witchblr for a bit you know what I'm about to say next: Yup.

Meditate.

Now listen, meditation is a way to open yourself up to the spirits around you or just at least signal "hey, I'm open to talk to." It gives you a good sense of your own energy and the energy around you. Meditation doesn't have one look either. A lot of people can't just sit still and kept their legs crossed or be on their knees with their eyes closed (I see you ADHD/ADD people). Hell, my lazy ass will meditate lying down.

Literally the definition of Meditation: to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness. transitive verb. : to focus one's thoughts on : reflect on or ponder over. (merriam webster)

It's pretty broad, right? Hell, you can even work out and meditate. I do it all the time. Cause I focus on my breathing and the feeling of energy through my body. Basically you can get creative with it.

While you're meditating, make sure you're feeling your own energy. This can come in a number of ways; waves, your heartbeat, a feeling of something cloaking you etc. While you have that feeling down, envision an opening, whether its a door, or just acknowledging you're reaching out to the other side. Whether or not you get an answer back, you are putting yourself out there and that's half the battle done. Just be sure to know how to close yourself and ward your body. Spirit work and opening yourself like that is no joke and I'd like you to be safe.

To do that, just envision whatever you had opened closed or recede back or whatever you used that worked for you.

Signs to Look for

Some of the more common tells of a spirit hearing and trying to communicate are of the following:

Small echos/voices in the back of your head

Random thoughts that may not be your own

Knocks or things shuffling

Strange dreams

Small phantom touches

Feelings of being watched

And Many More!

"But Sol," some of you might say, "that's really fucking vague and could just be explained away."

Yeah...welcome to spirit work. You thought this shit was easy?!

You have to work on your discernment. It is a skill needed for this type of work.

Seems counterproductive, but it's not! See, if every bump and noise was reported as ghosts or spirits, well...we'd be even less believed than we already are. When doing spirit work, or ghost hunting, you are stuck with the burden of proof and it's a huge burden to have. This is why people ask for repeats of actions, to speak again in recorders and other things. We're asking for repetition, because science is prevalent, especially in spiritualism and occultism. We have to be our own skeptics so when we have something that can't be explained away, we truly have something to celebrate.

Tools on the Job

No one said you had to do this all on vibes. No shame in using tools. I'll more than likely take the time to make specific posts about each tool in the future cause this post is already really long but I'll give you a nice rundown of basic tools.

By the way anyone who tries to shame you for using tools or says "only trainee or baby witches use this or that" are tools themselves (not the good or useful kind) and should not be given the time of day. Tools are fine. Use them for help if you need it because that's what the fuck a tool is for.

Now these aren't all the tools you can use but I'll give you some well known ones. I've seen witches get real creative and it's honestly super cool watching them use strange things that you'd never think about as a witchcraft tool. But that's what makes it so fun.

Tarot cards

Tarot is something I often use. 78 cards all with different meanings. There's many many ways to interpret them and multiple themes that many of them have.

My best advice for these are to just look up the overall meanings both upright and reversed just to have a general consensus of each card. Play around with them a lot, and interpret them the way you would as if you were making a story with them. You can also use them for spirit communication.

Calling forth a spirit allowing them to touch the deck (just leave it for a moment and allow them to influence the deck as it were before doing the spread). Holds a lot of power in your hands but is a little slow.

Pendulum

A pendulum is usually a crystal tied to a string or a chain that can be swung over a board of either yes or no or maybe for its options. Sometimes there is a mock ouija for the pendulum to spell out things as well.

Cool thing about a pendulum is it can be anything that swings if you wish. Some people I've seen take off their necklace and use it as a pendulum just fine. Just have a singular point and you can get to work anywhere with it. Please make sure to ward yourself from invading or malevolent spirits when you do this though.

Lots of pendulum or spirit boards exist and have different templates as well.

This is more of a call and response type of device to use. Especially when you feel a spirit present Still has a fair bit of control in your hands.

Ouija board

The infamous kids game works around the same way a pendulum does, except there is a planchette that slides over the board. This is a call and response based tool much like a pendulum. However, it is a little easier for the ghost to manipulate and control. Which is where all the stupid stories of ghosts completely taking over and fucking up shit takes place. Also, half of the biggest problems are just humans being humans which means victims of groupthink. So... stupidity. Someone freaked so you all freak...the energy gets bad and shit happens. Do your best to remain calm and just work through it.

Also no. ZOZO XOX 2O2O etc does not want your ass. Many spirits claim that shit to get a rise out of you anyway. Guys...no, I swear it does not happen. This is main character energy that none of us have...or want! Even if a demonic entity came in to fuck with you, there are plenty of other ways to do it. Be fucking for real.

Please remain kind and courteous to who you contact. Do not let your paranoia about this tool make you do stupid things. Always say goodbye when you are finished. Try and stay as calm as you can.

Never. Ever leave the planchette on the board unattended. Lest you get an unwanted guest or one that'll overstay their welcome.

Crystal Ball

Crystal Balls are a good way to detect energies. This is normally used in a private setting cause it desires a lot of concentration. Now, I'm admittedly not that knowledgeable in this because I don't use my crystal ball often.

Also, your crystal ball doesn't have to be clear. Mine is obsidian and I love her.

When having your question, focus on it and concentrate. Make sure it is open ended. I mean you can have yes or no, but it's gonna be a bitch to decipher a yes or no answer.

Close your eyes and let the answers come to you in the forms of images and colors and such, examine all you can as just let your intuition work.

Sounds simple but its a rather interesting art form to work on. Symbols and such can confuse you and it's heavy on your interpretation. I'm sure there's books and stuff out there for a general view of this symbol you see might mean this or that but...largely, this is a true test of how you read your intuition.

I'd do it more, if I wasn't closeted and lived with nosy closed-minded people.

C'est la vie.

One important thing though...don't leave your ball uncovered. Especially if it's clear. That's how you end up with burned shit. Those bitches are like mega magnifying glasses. And it happens faster than you think. Science is scary.

Mirror/Water Scrying

Mirror and water scrying is kind of the same as a crystal ball except it's a quicker and often less expensive way to work on your divination.

Some people have a specific mirror that they black out and scry that way. Others have a scrying bowl made for divination alone. It's just as good. You can use any bowl or mirror however. Just be sure to cleanse the area before you start and after you're done.

Some thank the water used for divination before putting it down the sink or in the earth. But that's more of an individual's choice/belief/faith than anything else.

Lots of occultism and spiritualism has a thing with mirrors being portals, openings, etc to the otherside and can bring some unwanted visitors.

And as someone who now sleeps with their mirror facing the wall now, I will say I believe a lot of what people say on that.

I want a goodnights sleep damnit.

Just be sure to cleanse your tools after use. Better safe than sorry.

ETC.

There's a lot of creative ways people can use these tools and magic. So don't think of magic as a recipe for how to be a witch or do witchcraft. That's half the fun of witchcraft.

Discovery.

Finding ways to do things, to hear, to see, to communicate. Yes there are certain tools that work better than others but, we as individual people also work in different ways.

There's a psychic out there who reads asparagus like bones. There's someone who will scry with a puddle on the ground they found. People have their own methods and ways to work their magic and we should learn from them. So if you have some non normal tactic or even something unsual, embrace it to the fullest.

I divine with music. If you ask me it's Apollo's influence. My spirits communicate with music.

When I meet people and get a good vibe on them a song comes to mind, and even if I forget your face, your voice, who you are, that song will remind me what I think of you. Songs pop up in my head when people associated with it are close.

I'm not going to say I'm the only one in the world who does this, cause that would be some bs. But its my tactic and its natural.

Do what is natural for you and not what other witches say you should do.

Even me, I beg you not to try and emulate or follow my advice down to a T if it doesn't work for you. Don't force it to work.

I am just one person, one voice spouting some advice. Take what you can from it, take what helps and work your own path. And then in turn do the same. I'm a path offering person not a director. But that's...just...me...

"But Sol, how do I speak to spirits?"

Talk.

Yeah, that simple. Talk.

This can be in a lot of forms. Some write and burn letters to ancestors, or past family members. Set up a placement for talking to them. Admittedly, a lot of spirit work and communication is experimental. We just warn you over some things because they've happened enough for us as a collective to go ah, a pattern.

I have urns at home so it's pretty easy to say hello in that case.

I am NOT telling you to go into a graveyard and just go wussap. No. Some spirits don't want your tomfuckery. Also if they're feeling really chatty all at once you might get overwhelmed and you will not have a good time. Read the dead room.

Open yourself up. WARD YOURSELF FIRST! PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS. But yeah open yourself up. Learn how to open your pathways and close them first. That comes with meditating. Yes, this is why damn near all of us nag the shit out of y'all about meditating.

Just talk and listen. It won't happen immediately. It takes time and a careful ear. Remember signs to look for. You might spot them before you hear them. Small instances of shadows out the corner of your eye. A touch from nowhere, a shiver down your spine. Other things going off or being moved, etc. Slowly, someone or something will receive your message and try to respond in kind.

When you get these small responses, just keep calm and say hello or acknowledge what they've done.

"Oh, someone's here"

"Hello there"

"Are you still here?"

It'll be awkward (try to remember where you are, don't be a weirdo in public), but overtime you'll get better at it.

Conclusion!

Like any skill, spirit communication takes practice.

There are a vast plethora of ways to communicate with tools that I haven't mentioned as well, like automatic writing which is a pretty good beginner way to jump in.

Just have a pen/pencil on paper, write what comes to mind. Its a good way to practice hearing and catching signs as well.

And something I will never stop saying is you don't have to take this journey alone! Especially if you don't want to. Find someone experienced to start this journey with. Someone who calms you, who can support you. Support and asking for help is good. Last thing any of us want is for you to get hurt or scared out of doing this if this is something you really want to do. So call us, talk to us. Confide in more experienced people.

So many times on this site and other places, we are begging to form this beautiful network so we can help one another, give advice, hang out etc.

We are right here, just reach out for us. You'll get a hand back in kind.

[cosmicjoke]

I swear, if I see one more ho on this site trying to frame Levi's childhood as somehow positive or otherwise not completely horrific, I'm gonna' kill a bitch. I'm not going to name names, because I don't want to start drama, but Jesus, I can't take it anymore.

The latest and greatest stupidity I've come across is the claim that Levi's monologue to the 104th during the Uprising arc was somehow meant to be read as Levi expressing how "well-adjusted" he is because he'd been conditioned to respond to urgent situations without hesitation due to the hardship of his childhood. This is such classic abuse-apologist shit, I don't even know what to say. It's essentially claiming that Levi is only able to be so effective and level-headed and reliable because he's been through traumatic events, and that his worth in those situations is a result of the abuse he suffered as a child. Again, this is also the classic take of people who love to deny Levi any credit in being the way he is, and instead, for obvious, ulterior reasons, want to give that credit to Kenny, or some other abusive piece of shit from Levi's past. News alert for folks who think this. Trauma doesn't make you stronger, it doesn't make you a better person, it doesn't help you or strengthen your character. If someone is able to overcome hardship or adversity, it's not because they've been through hardship or adversity, it's because they're just built, from jump, to overcome it. It's like a boxer who's never been knocked down before, and suddenly he's in a fight where he's knocked down hard. It's not the knock down that's going to get him through the rest of the fight and help him to win, it's his strength of character and will to win. It comes down, once again, to nature.

So many people who went through what Levi did would have ended up as complete basket cases, either totally unhinged and immoral, or so traumatized that they would be rendered paralyzed and controlled by that trauma. It's not the experiences that Levi went through that make him level-headed or reliable, it's simply his strength of character. It's in spite of his trauma that he's able to be as effective and reliable as he is, not because of it.

But this isn't to say that Levi isn't traumatized, like so many of these people also love to claim. Another gem from this post I saw was that we're not meant to see Levi as traumatized because he doesn't cry, and Isayama, supposedly, only conveys trauma in his characters through tears. I mean, that's hilarious, really. I guess when Kenny finds Levi in that room with the rotting corpse of his mother, we're meant to believe he's not been traumatized by it because he isn't crying. Never mind that Levi's lack of expression and essential muteness are both heavy indicators of severe trauma. This post would posit that one can't be as level-headed and reliable as Levi is and also be traumatized. That's also ridiculous. Again, this comes down to individuality and uniqueness of personality. Levi can be traumatized, but also still be as steadfast and unwavering as he is, because each person is going to respond differently to traumatic events based on their individual, inborn personality traits. And trauma also manifests in a number of different behaviors.

I've always said that Levi's stoicism in the face of all the horrors he's seen and been through isn't indicative of the deep and raw emotion we know Levi actually carries underneath, which tells us that Levi's lack of expression is, indeed, a trauma response. A coping mechanism. Levi isn't an emotionless character. His flat expression doesn't accurately depict or indicate what he's actually feeling. If it did, then Levi would be someone who felt nothing at the sight of death, or wasn't troubled or unsettled by the deaths of his friends and comrades. He would be someone who isn't moved at all by the suffering of others, but simply indifferent and uncaring.

But we know that isn't true. We know how important it is to Levi that people survive and how hard he works to protect their lives. We know how compassionate and kind Levi actually is, how greatly empathetic he is. So why, then, is it such a stretch in these people's minds, to suggest that Levi's flat expression is an obvious case of him actively suppressing his emotion in order to continue operating? This doesn't even seem like a question to me, or up to interpretation. It seems like an evident, objective fact about his character. Levi suppresses his emotion in order to keep functioning. We see this multiple times throughout the story. A good example of Levi actively suppressing his emotional response is when Kenny kills Nifa, and for a split second, we see the devastation in Levi's expression, before he visibly pushes it down and goes into action against Kenny's squad. Levi is clearly emotional here, and deeply, deeply upset. Seeing Nifa killed and then having to leave her behind is clearly having an intense and disruptive impact on Levi. But he represses the feelings in that moment. Again, that's an obvious coping mechanism in dealing with extreme, traumatizing circumstances. It isn't indicative of Levi being untouched or unimpacted by those things, it's indicative of Levi needing to disassociate from just how much those things are impacting him in order to carry on. You know, a trauma response. Repression of emotion isn't healthy, and isn't how someone who's perfectly "well-adjusted" would respond to these sorts of situations. It isn't normal. Crying is normal. Crying is a baseline, regular response to horrific things, in fact a proven, cathartic way to process trauma and work through it. The fact that Levi shuts all emotional reaction down when faced with those same, horrific things indicates someone who's been through way too much bad shit, and in order to remain functional, has to disassociate from what he's feeling. It isn't Levi processing his trauma and coming out the other side unaffected. It's Levi ignoring his trauma because he doesn't feel like he can afford to process it, either for himself or others.

This idea that Levi wasn't adversely impacted by what he went through as a child, but rather positively impacted, is not only laughable, but downright harmful in the sorts of ideas it perpetuates.

This particular post I saw was claiming that Levi was saying his ability to react quickly to fucked up situations was a good thing, as if he was expressing gratitude for being raised the way he was because it allowed him to "adapt" to extreme circumstances. What a load of horse shit. Levi wasn't talking about himself being "abnormal" as if it were a positive thing. He plainly frames it as a negative. He says "Maybe I'm abnormal because I've seen way too many abnormal things", before going on to express how he's willing to take on the role of a "lunatic that kills people" as long as it spares anyone else from having to go through the same. He's plainly expressing here how he knows the things he's gone through have fucked him up and caused him to have abnormal, some might even call deviant behavior, and his expressed desire to spare others from having to go through the same and end up like him is a clear as crystal indicator that he doesn't view his childhood in any kind of positive light, or as something necessary or good. He wants to keep people from ending up like him. That isn't Levi bragging about how "well-adjusted" he is.

Yes, Levi is a remarkably together person, and considering all the truly horrific things he's been through, it's really extraordinary that he's as level-headed, and even more so, as kind and compassionate as he is. That he isn't more fucked up. But that comes down to Levi himself, not the way he was raised. To imply or claim that Levi views the way he was raised positively shows an absurd lack of reading comprehension at best, and is disingenuous at worst. Levi is only as together as he is because he's a strong person. Because he has the strength of character and the fortitude of character not to let his trauma destroy or control him. But that doesn't mean he isn't traumatized. It just means he's a better person than most, someone who, regardless of his trauma, cares deeply about others, and as a result, forces himself to hold it together for their sake, regardless of the consequences to his own well being. His trauma clearly impacts him, but he's just a strong enough person that he doesn't let it define him.

[the-l00ker]

pssstt, mr beast employed a convicted pedophile who raped a child aged 1-11. Every work has background checks. His nickname is delaware, as a joke that he can’t go back to the state. Mr beast used the nickname multiple times, he appeared in his videos, mr beast when living with ava kris was seeing the damn pedophillic poster proudly sitting on the wall and its visible in his videos too. He also was active in the disgusting servers ava kris was in.

Bro ik but I got a Twitter DM from someone who will allegedly knew him telling me to stop already get sued and I'm not about to risk the lawsuit with the Millionaire.... ON TWITTER

Mr Beast has:

Hidden over 8 pedophiles at his company, some of which work with the children that they have in their videos.

Hired registered sex offenders to also help manage children in their videos.

Underpaid staff.

Try to peer pressure employees into letting him by them a house so that they could live closer to work making it so that their whole life revolved around his actions.

Had his friend illegally put down 1000 of his signatures on hoodies to give to fans, effectively scamming every single person who bought his hoodie.

Including harmful products and chemicals in his chocolate that he promoted would not be there.

He has literally committed a war crime. I'm not joking.

Had illegal gambling live streams with minors.

Violated many guidelines on the health and safety of everyone participating in the beast games.

Covered up sexual harassment within the beast games so that the episodes could come out on schedule

Good ol'tax fraud.

Not providing his workers with substantial healthcare got the shit they were doing

Holding out payment from certain people.

Purposefully manipulating of a content creators into believing that all of his challenges were indeed true and accurate so that they could spread the word and cover up anyone else who was saying that the challenges weren't real effectively using his friends to cover up his own lives dragging them down with him

Marketing Team Sea's, as saving the world getting a $100million together to help save the ocean, only to Backtrack later in interviews as he realizes that it did not in fact save the ocean and he actually caused irreparable damage to the ocean

Not recycling are the rubbish he collected from the ocean, and instead it ended up in landfill

Making anonymous donations to politicians

Unjustly firing Jake the Viking I'm not apologizing to him for it and refusing to supply him with ample unemployment pay for a long time

Being in a multiple discord servers with multiple minors and knowing that they were Minors

Defending Dr Disrespect

Endorsing the Shadman

Editing as of currently over 100 YouTube videos to remove the poster of the Shadman in his videos so that it can't be used as proof in court. That's right my friends. He's edited over a 100 videos currently and is still editing our every inappropriate comment form Ava Kris Tyson, every inappropriate comment of himself and all posters of the shadman as well as covering up his gambling

I don't know how many people knew this but he also made fun of Ironmouse, as in the vtuber for her disability in which he scrubbed the clip from the internet and acted like it never happened

Uses often AI generated scripts in his videos

He provides housings for pedophiles and sax offenders

Had one of the minor that either he or Ava Kris Tyson were messaging in that discord server be employed by Mr beast and another one appeared in a challenge. They had waited till these people turned 18.

And it is currently speculated that he is paying his girlfriend not to say anything

I also posted a theory on Twitter about why people don't believe Mr beast is a bad person. To which it was reported within the same day for misinformation and harmful content which practically proves I was right.

So I'll share it here. AHEM

Mr beast would only make his challenges in genuine for a select number of content creators with bigger platforms so that they could spread the word on their bigger platforms that is challenges were actually real.

But for other people like Rosanna Pansino and many of the winners they which rated poorly because they didn't have as big of a platform. He would do withdraw their winnings or what they actually should have been paid, disregard their feelings, sale to mention the terms and conditions set with the money that they had gotten from their challenge, an also failed to mention that the money that they had won or earned had not had the Taxes paid for them so by the time they had already spent the money they got to let us saying that they had to pay taxes because it came over additional income.

However the people who've said this publicly on YouTube with shadow-banned, because it made YouTube best earner look bad

[tarre-was-right]

ROUND ONE: MATCH-UP THREE

Remember, this is NOT about who would win in a fight. This is about who makes the best leader for Mandalore as a whole.

To be fair, I think we know who's going to win this one, lmao. That said! Go read the Tor propaganda, we got a silly amount of it. Actually we got an insane amount of propaganda for both of them overall.

Explanation post

Seeding

Propaganda below the cut! You can submit more on this post and I will reblog it back to here!

Bo-Katan Kryze

Anon: Bo-Katan propaganda: she babysat a Jedi child without the child dying or killing anyone and leading a planet is basically just babysitting a child on a big scale right

Anon: Bo-Katan spent like three years as a terrorist but she also spent 30 years rebelling against fascists so idk I'm willing to hear her out on this. Welcome back Princess Leia 👏

Anon: as Satine's sister, she would have received much the same early training and education in how to rule their Duchy on Kalevala, as she alluded to in her comments in The Mandalorian - while her involvement in Death Watch is perhaps not a mark in her favor, she did seemingly have many years of experience working as Pre Vizsla's lieutenant, and earned the trust of many of his followers who defected to follow her following Pre's death and Maul's claiming of the Darksaber and throne of Mandalore, forming the bulk of her fighting force during her efforts to reclaim that throne during the Siege of Mandalore - during the Rebels timeline, she has lost the throne once again due to an Imperial-backed coup, but seems to have been working to resist the Empire's rule; during this time, she is chosen to be the figurehead and rallying point of that apparently unsuccessful effort - finally, during the time of The Mandalorian, she has been rallying the surviving clans to reclaim the Darksaber as a stepping stone for reuniting their people; after her work with Din Djarin and the Armorer, she once again is selected by her people to be their leader as they work to rebuild their reclaimed home planet

Anon: Bo-Katan should be the Mando'alor because, while having done a LOT of shit, she tried her best to free Mandalore from the Empire and to give her people the safety they lost when the New Mandalorian Government fell - She worked to redeem herself, and she got back up every time she fell. She united the people of Mandalore from every aspect and kept the warrior traditions alive

@lightsaberwieldingdalek: Literally the only reason I can think of for bo katan to rule is that she’s stubborn. She doesn’t stop trying to get mandalorians organised and on their homeworld. Kinda a Robert the Bruce and a spider in a cave style parable, except instead of the English she’s trying to fight her own bad actions/behaviour towards others

Anon: Bo-Katan propaganda: you know that quote about "It's hard for a good man to be king?" Well considering she's a terrible person she'd actually be pretty good at ruling Mandalore.

Tor Vizsla

Anon: god. ugh. can't believe I'm writing this. but. - he was backed by a not-insignificant number of clans, including those of good reknown such as Clan Wren, apparently spurred by the common sentiment that Mereel's Supercommando Codex was an affront to their sense of honor by extending the definition of honorable professions for the warrior class to bounty hunting and mercenary work (which was an attempt to avert some of the expansionist tendencies of previous generations of Mandalorian warriors)

@lightsaberwieldingdalek: Okay so. Tor Visla. - This is a franchise called Star Wars. There has not been a generation without interplanetary conflict happening somewhere. Mandalore has an imperialist history which left it with a lot of people with grudges against it, and in living/near living memory their homeworld was bombed by the largest government around to the point of having to live in environment domes. The giant war across the galaxy at the moment has one side being almost completely fought by clones of a self-exiled prince of your people, they wear armor clearly based on your cultural touchstone armor and marked with your cultures symbols and speaking at least some of your language. - In that situation, you could see why someone would think its not a great idea to be led by an ardent pacifist and demilitarise to the point of making the people who refused to stop carrying weapons leave the planet. - Of course, what Tor decided to do with that set up is really terrible, he probably should have lead a militia group to kneecap anything that went for Mandalore if he decided Mandalore was weak and defenseless, not start bombing public works and being a domestic terrorist, but I'm just laying out the intentions/set up here. - Now. What he did and what he thought he was doing are different things, of course. - But you can sort of argue that what Tor's little terrorist group actually did kinda helped Mandalore. In an assbackwards, unintentional way, of course. And yet. - Mandalore was divided, and Satine Kryze was doing her best to improve standards of living, but her political views could mean causing more fractures and splits in the society. However. Give people an enemy, an opposing side, and make them so heinous and undefendable that only the most fanatic, the most violent and hateful, will join them, and everyone else will stop bickering over religio-cultural doctrine and band together against the violent fantatics who just bombed a school group. By being an opposition that no one but the people who were never going to help would join, Tor helped keep Mandalorian society together and strong. Like a supporting joint pushing against the wall. - And in the aftermath of the Empire, the experience with urban warfare and terrorist groups meant that Mandalore was more prepared to survive when they scattered across the galaxy to hide. - In conclusion. Tor Visla. Understandable starting point. Unforgivable follow through. Unmistakable impact.

Anon: "He will make Mandalore great again. And don't believe Jaster lie, he isn't a speciesist. He has a Java friend. With him, Mandalorian will do a raid on this weak core world everyday. The galaxy will be their playground and twi'lek girl will fall for them. Alcool will flow every night."

Anon: Tor would be good for gathering people for his cause, and he’d keep the dependent load small. He would also probably have easily accessible supplies (ie food, weapons, medicine, etc).

Anon: Propaganda for Tor Vizsla: Mandalorian

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Hello. Love your Chaggie posts; fellow shipper present. If you want, I like to make a request - Could you please make another Chaggie post about the reveal of Vaggie's secret and specifically talk about Charlie's look of intense shock (to the point she had no fight left in her at court), the look of ice-cold fury when speaking to Vaggie, her emotional rants to Alastor and Rosie; and just the fact that despite having a number of pressing issues, that she IS stressed about, her main source of anger/stress is coming to grips with Vaggie keeping a big secret from her. There's so much to it, I love it!

charlie can be cheerful and polite and calm and hopeful and full of determination- because VAGGIE is there to hold her hand and believe in her and say she LOVES charlie and enjoys the parts of charlie that CHARLIE apologizes for and is embarrassed by-

VAGGIE is the emotional stop gap just BARELY keeping charlie on kilter

and the moment vaggie's support is at all called into question, the second charlie finds out vaggie has been NOT HONEST about something important with her- she's not upset with what the secret was about- she's not upset in the way adam and lute and vaggie thought she'd be oh nnoooooo- she's gutted wondering if vaggie meant any of it- she's clawing and tearing at the thought that the thing she loves and needs most from vaggie might also not be real-

(vaggie is the practical one, the brutally honest one, the realist, the prepare for the worst one-)

(but she also- she also never wasn't there for charlie)

now charlie's losing that last shred of control that almost always just BARELY kept her from going off- specifically at adam usually- specifically over him gloating and threatening to MURDER her people-

and vaggie was waiting for her at the hotel the first time, to take her hands and show her the work they'd done while she was off having that shit meeting. vaggie was there up in heaven-

(the real reason charlie absolutely insisted she needed her there??)

-doing nothing much but BEING there for charlie, sitting there WITH charlie, and running to hold charlie AGAIN when adam did his little knife twist reveal to the heart

charlie flames up but- BUT- she can be the bigger and mature person, she can, she can-

until she's getting heckled by a woman who can't actually do much or hurt anyone, someone who's just being annoying

until vaggie might not actually believe in her

then it's FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!!!

(from CHARLIE)

and it's charlie NOT being able to do this, this thing that's so important to her, this thing she's been doing the whole time, keep a smile, be polite, make it work- she CAN'T anymore

not until she's taken a moment to breathe and stop and THINK. not until rosie helps her see that no, no actually, vaggie DOES love her. does, in fact, believe in her and in her silly impossible dreams. is showing it right now with her actions, just like she always has. might even have a very personal reason to have desperate faith in the idea of redemption, too

vaggie kept a secret, yes. should have told her, yes.

hurt her. yes.

but charlie can only get up and sing and inspire people to her fight once she settles on the TRUTH. vaggie, if no one else in all of hell, is the one person who really and truly DOES think charlie can do this, and has thought so for years

and so charlie can. and charlie does

and i don't think that's maybe really what you wanted to talk about but it's what lives in my head rent free