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GOD I love my career path BUT ok like. I spent today at an academic conference on epistemic injustice and I LOVE ACADEMIC CRITICISM. I LOVE ACADEMIC THEORY. The problem is I don't want to BE an academic, it looks like it sucks and also I like to have work with clear material impact. but today has scratched an itch I rarely TRULY get to hit and I want ittttttt. I love PHILOSOPHY I love SEMIOTICS I love EPISTEMOLOGY I love THE PRODUCTION AND COMMUNICATION OF IDEAS it is 90% of what I am thinking about at any given time and nobody outside academia is nearly as interested in it as I am, or if they are then we're using mutually incomprehensible frameworks/language.
academia is like welding, wrestling or bricklaying. I want the opportunity to learn the skills and do it as a hobby but I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want a career in it and the only ways to get at these things seem to be as vocational paths 😭
#red said#HAVING SAID WHICH#the senior lecturer i was talking to did ask quite firmly whether i could come talk to her class in the new year#and i was like frantically backtracking like NO I HAVE LOTS OF THOUGHTS BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!!#which is. ironic. if we're talking about epistemic injustice and how we value different kinds of knowledge#cause what i mean is i don't have any formal credentials.#although also what i mean is i think the way i talk makes people think i do more frontline activism than i do?#I'm IN THE ROOM for a lot of community work but I'm not DOING it#I'm just doing the writeup afterwards and some of the design#which are valuable!!! i would say when I've done community activism work my job is comms and messaging though#like. not producing knowledge but translating it to accessible and persuasive messaging#but tbf the whole conversation we were having was that translation = interpretation = synthesis and theoretical production#so#i catch myself coming and going apparently
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