#like. if I fuck something up you're gonna be the one to call me on it over anyone else
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can you write a pit fighter vi smut fic where the reader works at a restaurant in zaun and vi comes in drunk and starts flirting with her pretty please 😼
Thank you sm for the request:3 hope you enjoy!
Content: 1.5k words, dub-con (Vi is drunk), casual sex, use of strap-ons (r! recieving), oral sex (r! receiving), slight overstimulation, this is rlly filthy blame anonymous for giving me the ammo to write this
Your hands are busy with several plates and your feet are sore in your shoes. Customers in Zaun have no decorum, either!
Being a waitress is not fun, especially not in a dingy restaurant like "The Sludge Pit." It's where most people are coming back from watching fights next door and want a cheap meal. To say that you hate you job is an understatement. But...money is tight, so choices are limited. It could be worse. You could be a prostitute at Babette's.
You've heard rumors that the fight tonight is going to be huge. There's a recently been a new fighter people have been placing bets on - a girl named Vi. You've heard the name before, of course. Jinx's sister, someone who was involved with a Piltie girl. You hated to get involved with all of the drama in Piltover, though; it was all meaningless. It was all just pointless drama that ended in another person in Zaun getting the short end of the stick or dead without a proper burial. Whatever happened was so hard to care about when it felt like an everyday thing.
However, something about the girl you've been hearing rumors about intrigued you. It is apparently often that this Vi chick is bulldozing men in the ring, getting drunk off her ass, and fucking Babette's whores. She got her heart broken, now she's all bitter, and you can't help but wonder what this girl is even like. What could she possibly be like when she's this well-known in the under-city?
It's around midnight. The fight is over because a huge crowd is occupying The Sludge Pit. You've got your poor hands full, tasked with scribbling down rude men's orders and serving them. Some are fucking creepy, too. You wonder if the Vi girl will be coming in tonight, but your curiosity is suddenly dashed when you hear the restaurant BOOMING with cheers from the main area.
When you walk out of kitchen, the first thing you see is the back left table seated with a black-haired girl. She's got no shirt on, just bandages that hug her body and a leather jacket. Her jeans are tightly fitted, sculpted onto her meaty things. The black pigment on her face is all messy. Next to her is a burly brunette man, facial hair covering most of his face. You've seen him before - "Loris."
When you approach Vi's table, she looks up at you and lets out a slight laugh. You look devourable, your hair back in two braids, fly-aways from the day's work. Your eyes are wide, and you look pretty terrified. Poor waitress. She's already decided that you're gonna be her next slut.
"Hi! I'll be your waitress today, what can I get for you-" Your voice is so shaky, oh fuck.
Usually, Vi wouldn't be so forward, but she just got back from the bar. There's too much liquid courage in her system, so now she's gonna get what she wants.
"Don't worry 'bout me, baby. Get my friend Loris here a burger."
You almost choke on your own spit.
Her voice isn't at all what you expected, not raspy or deep, but actually soft and persuasive. She's slurring her words slightly, but you're too focused on her eyes, the soft blue sparkle in them and the half-lidded, carefree look that is complimentary.
"Uhhh, okay! One burger coming right up!"
You soon come back with a shaky hand, plate in your palm. You set the burger down and look up down, adjusting your waitress skirt.
"One burger!"
Vi gives you a wide, lazy smile. Loris is just laughing, he's probably as drunk as her.
"Thanks, baby. How much will that be?"
"Ohhh....well, it's on the house. Since you won tonight, and all.." All rationale seems to leave you when Vi's calling you baby. Your boss is gonna chew you out for this, but the drunken giggle that leaves her mouth is so worth it.
"On the house? No, baby..c'mon, lemme pay."
You laugh and blow a stray strand of hair out out of your face. Her voice makes you imagine her throwing you around on your bed. "No, really, it's fine.."
"Hm..well, if you're not gonna let me use my money, why don't I pay you back in some other way?"
You stare at her for a second.
"What...?"
She chuckles at the cute but shocked look on your face. "Seriously. I wanna pay you back for the burger, since you're such a cute little waitress.."
She's got you in her twin-sized bed as she pounds into you at a pace you're surprised doesn't break the bed. You look utterly cock-drunk underneath her as her hips slam into yours: eyes practically rolled back into your noggin, whining on each and every thrust she gives your sopping pussy. Fuck, she's already obsessed with you.
Her hands are holding the back of your knees to keep you in position, and she pulls the cock halfway out of your pussy and slams back in, earning herself a wounded squeal from you.
"That's it, baby. Take all of my cock like a good girl," she coos, her eyes moving down to watch the hot-pink silicone disappear in your pretty pussy, and she's almost drooling at the sight.
"P-Please!! Please fuck me, oh my god!" You're screaming for her (soon you'll be creaming), and all Vi can think is how she wants to lick the cum out of your pussy when she's done plowing into you.
She laughs and spreads you legs back so she can hitch them around her own waist, still throwing sloppy thrusts into you. Your legs automatically wrap around her sides and she collapses onto your body, mouth wet and lazy on your throat. She's hardly thrusting now, just grinding up into your cunt like a dog in heat.
"Ohhh, fuckkk...this is the best pussy I've had in so fucking long, did you know that?" She's whimpering like she's not the one slinging strap..
You can't even answer with a proper response, only offering up a broken moan because in this position, the cockhead of the toy is bullying your sweet, spongey spot and making you see stars. By grinding into you, the base of the harness is catching on Vi's clit perfectly, making her her pace grow less and less composed She's fucking you like a touch deprived cave-man, for fuck's sake.
You hear feel her body tense up, and now she's pounding into you, each time your skin connects her body is pressing further into your, grinding her pussy against the harness, making you whine her name.
"You want me to cum inside you, huh? I bet you'd just love that. Wish I actually could cum inside this sweet little pussy." Her words grow more and more deranged the longer she's fucking you, and they send you right over the edge with a gasp and a cry out. For mercy, or for bliss, she isn't able to tell.
You poor legs are shaking around her waist and your voice is chanting her name like a prayer along with cute little cries of "I'm cumming for you, Violet!!" You indeed did cum, your face all flushed and your hips bucking up into hers, making her own cunt clench with need as she hits her own peak. She kisses you to swallow your sweet whines, tongue sliding against yours so you can taste the Vodka on it. She's just rutting into your pussy, and she swears she can feel your walls milking her cock like it's real. The alcohol in her system really does make her delusional.
When she's done, she pulls out of you and throws the strap-on somewhere in the floor, immediately moving down your body to suck the cum out of your tender hole.
You whine and protest, "V-Vi!! Too sensitive!"
She moves her lips to give your clit a firm suck and holds you legs open, "shh, just need to clean you up first.."
Her tongue moves to fuck your pussy as deeply as it can, filling you with the hot, wet muscle, and grazing your overstimulated g-spot until you're begging for mercy and she relented to go swirl around your previously neglected clit.
Her hands are groping your tits, your own tugging at her shitty dye-job as you buck your hips up in the air for more. She doesn't stop, giving you exactly what you want, sucking at your engorged clit and flicking it shamelessly with her tongue.
"Fuckk, V-Vi!! I'm gonna cum again!!"
Your juices paint her face so perfectly, mixing in with her black make-up and making an even bigger mess of your sopping cunt. She pulls back to see your face all red, soft little pants leaving your lips, and your chest heaving like you just ran a marathon. You look perfectly ruined, your hole still wrecked from the cock she fucked you with and your braids messed up into oblivion, but you look satisfied. She really paid you back for that burger, didn't she?
Safe to say, The Sludge Pit is her favorite place to find a meal at.
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if i see one more post about how solas/mythal/elgar'nan had a weird love triangle thing going on i'm gonna scream
#probably gonna annoy some people by saying this#but i think it is really telling that taash's response 'they were doin' it'#is positioned in a way that strongly implies it's the immature response to take#not to say i'm 100% right bc they left it deliberately vague for a reason#you're meant to make up your own mind#and i personally do not see this as a stupid love triangle bc a. i fucking hate love triangle plots they're overdone and boring#and b. it's stated multiple times that the ancient elves felt things in different ways that can't be fully understood by mortals#so deducing that it was a romantic bond is an oversimplification of something that's actually very abstract#falon'din and dirthamen were called both twins and lovers by legends but it turned out to be neither of those things#they were just one spirit split into two#the only two that i think were actually romantically involved were ghil and andruil bc it's stated that they fell in love in the abyss#and there are statues of them naked holding hands apparently#we didn't get enough info about sylaise and june to really say much about their relationship#the actual regret memory of solas and mythal meeting in secret#is the memory that the inquisitor gives to rook#and it appeared after the ritual was interrupted and solas killed varric#when varric told him to stop#when varric expressed his love for his friend and died for it#the parallel is not of lovers but of solas taking mythal's place and varric taking his#ugh i'm just so uncomfortable with the solas/mythal romance stuff#like it actually nauseates me#not out of jealousy but bc his whole story is him dealing with the horrific trauma bond he formed with her#and those are so often borne from family bonds#like mythal is just one big mother wound to solas#i honestly think if they were lovers they would just state it as such#but people have a hard time imagining devotion as being anything other than romantic ig#sad bc platonic relationships can sometimes be more intense than romantic ones
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save a turkey, stuff a masc [shorts, 18+]
this year I'm thankful for bottom Ellie and Abby fics and im thankful for sub mascs everywhere all the time
cw: not proof read one bit (I literally wasn't even wearing my glasses when I wrote this and I wrote it in 20 minutes so forgive my spelling errors), bottom abby and ellie, reader is strapped up, choking, slight degradation if you squint (?)
♫ supersoaker (eartheater)
🍒 ellie
Ellie's so easy to wrangle after a night like this. Another one filled with the awkward tensions between her and Joel, pretending everything between them is fine when it's not, when it's actually so fucking complicated that she could rip her own skull off given the chance, just to quiet the throbbing complications swelling in her mind.
Of course, you would never let it get that far. You've grown accustomed to Ellie's frustrations and the signs of it -- her tense shoulders, the way she sucked in her lips, kneads her brows together and goes quiet, considering it safer than arguing some more.
So when the night has finally concluded and you two are relieved from awkward family obligations to return back to the little makeshift studio garage Ellie calls her "place", you're quick to find a way to melt these tensions.
Like I said, she's easy, easy to lay out on her back like this, knees pressed to her chest and hair left down and astray. The auburn strands stick to her forehead, covering some of her freckles as she whimpers and pants up at you.
"Shit, fuck, oh my god --"
Ellie's barely able to keep her eyes open when you're like this, her hands bracing themselves on your wrist as you pound relentlessly into her. You pull pitiful moans out of her as you hold her still with a palm to her pale throat, fingers experimentally tightening as she grows inconsolable, long nails threatening to stab at her if she isn't careful to hold still and take what you give her.
"Shhh, shh, I know sweetheart," you're purring. The combined scent of her previous orgasms and your sickeningly sweet perfume melting off of your warm body makes her head spin, body shaking underneath you uncontrollably.
"Fuck, I don't know if I can," she grunts out, chest heaving as one of her fists slams down on the mattress, balling the sheets and hitting them down again. She can feel her heart pounding in her skull, and she's lightheaded from uselessly trying to catch her breath.
Your thumb traces her bottom lip as Ellie's breathing becomes more erratic, more choked up, and her eyes begin to water. You've climbed so far over her that she can hardly see anything except you, her pretty, sweet girl, with such sinful and disgusting words falling from your plush lips between the sounds of your hips slapping against her utterly soaked cunt. And god, does she look good like this, left in only her t-shirt and bra pulled just enough over her chest to give you a good view and something to play with when she gets antsy.
"No, don't say that baby," you chide softly, as if you aren't dripping from your core, down between the straps of your harness, and on to the bed yourself. As if you aren't fighting to bury the toy to the hilt inside of her and fucking burst. You readjust yourself, sitting up straighter so her pleading eyes don't make you change your mind.
"I know you can, you can take another one f'me."
Ellie gulps down air greedily as your fingers move away from her throat and down to her clit, toying with the bud as she begins to squirm, moans growing higher pitched and so, so desperate.
"See, I knew you weren't done," you huff, giggling down at her. Her cheeks grow pink from embarrassment, and she tries to turn away, but you stop her. You turn her face back towards you with your free hand, making her watch you as you work her through the beginning of her fourth orgasm.
"Uh-uh, eyes on me, sweet girl. Gonna fuck you stupid, huh?"
🍒 abby
Abby's not so easy. She takes some work, some forethought to get under your strap, but you know the drill.
You've been sweetening her up all day, making her a plate and bringing it to her so she doesn't even have to get up from the football game that she and Manny had been screaming at all morning. You'd been lounging on the side of the couch, nails tracing over her back, picking at the shiny material of her jersey and gently pulling the ponytail out of her braid.
You've got your fingers in the loose strands of her hair, nails softly scratching at her scalp when Manny calls the game, waving it off and heading out the door a few moments later, though that wasn't necessarily like him, Abby had commented. She wondered if he was okay, if they had cooked the turkey all the way through. She felt fine, but you were sure Manny had just grown uncomfortable around you openly eyeing her.
You don't say anything of it though, shrugging it off and packing away the dinner's leftovers. Abby's helpful and sweet as always, pressing a soft kiss to your temple that has you turning with a predatory glint in your eye. This went unnoticed by the larger woman, and she continued not to notice until your arms were wrapping around her from behind, warm palm climbing up her chest and under her shirt until you can play with the elastic of her bra. She had laughed, taking it for a joke until your other hand slips below her waistband, and then her hands are tightening on the counter and she's sucking in a breath.
After that, it isn't long before you're shoving Abby's face into the mattress. You're holding her wrists at the small of her back, and the bulging veins and muscle in her forearms make your delicate hands and long nails look almost laughable, like a piece of paper tying some dumbbells together, but she doesn't dare to fight your grasp. Rather, she melts right into it.
"Shit, mmph," she grunts turning her head so she can gasp in the cold air of the room. Your nails dig into her hair, wrapping it around your wrist and pulling her up so her back is arched, and she can just barely see the reflection of your tangled bodies in the mirror over the tip of her nose.
"Fuck!" She grunts out, dragging out the vowel and bordering it with a strained growl. "Fuck, it's deep, it's really, really deep, ohmygod --"
You're giggling behind her, panting softly as a lazy smirk meets her contorted face in the glass.
"You're greedy, Abs," you hum, annunciating your words with even heavier snaps of your hips that have her eyes rolling back and her clit pulsing deliciously. "She's sucking me in, baby, knew you needed this, huh?"
Abby's head bobs and nods pathetically as you continue your brutal pace, an angelic whine of uh-huh forced out of her parted lips.
You tsk, shaking your head.
"'s not gonna cut it, baby," you chide, letting go of her hair to exchange it for her jaw, pulling her warm back against your front and pressing soft kisses along her shoulder. "Use your words."
Abby lets out an almost heartbreaking moan, a mix of frustration and pleasure filling your ears as she can barely hold in enough oxygen to breath, let alone admit how badly she needed to be broken in like some sort of fucking dog in heat.
Still, you don't give up, growing more cocky and demanding as she falls further and further into you, head drunk and dumb on your cock.
"Come on, angel, I won't tell anyone how much you like it."
#ellie williams#abby anderson#tlou2#fanfiction#x reader#smut#tlou#lesbian#female reader#ellabs#the last of us
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im gonna need you to elaborate on inexperienced!sub!Luke x inexperienced!reader PLEASE bc u don’t get it u created a new need
I love the idea of just reader and Luke being each other's firsts and figuring shit out together, like they're all nervous and giggly about it, finally getting to confess their desires. They're not fussed if it's not perfect, they're trying things and seeing how it feels, reassuring each other with no pressure at all. One of them wants to try a kink? Sure. New position? Cool. Switch roles? New location? They'll take it slow and build confidence. Practice makes perfect, right?
Elaborate? It's sweet, sexy teamwork! You and Luke being each other's first times, figuring sex out together comfortably at your own pace, with love. You've fooled around before, sure, foreplay, prep, making out, all that but neither have, as they say, lost your virginities. He knows he likes when you pull his hair or suck him off, you know you like his fingers plunging deep inside your cunt and when he devours you out. But you and Luke don't know how good sex can feel when it's laced with passion and love.
You're both kind of shy about it, nervous. You're both embarrassed at how old you both are and still haven't fucked. Yet it's supposed to be fun, so neither of you pay much mind to the social constructs around it, you're just smiling and showering each other in compliments and reassurances the more the clothes that land on the floor.
You both having a basic understanding of sex but neither practising until now. Luke's sat against the headboard with you straddling his lap, like you've done many times before where you've gone no further than dry humping, but this time you're both stark naked, taking the beauty of each other in and he can feel your arousal seeping onto his skin, his dick rubbing against yours and it takes everything in you to keep your hips still, hands tracing over the ridges of his abs and v-line.
You're both figuring it out together, piecing together things you've watched and read and finding your feet. He's shy at first, confessing how the thought of you riding him turns him on so fast, his cheeks flushing instantly as his large hands caress your thighs in downwards motions, just to glide back up again and knead into the flesh. You're slightly smirking, ego shooting through the roof knowing he wants you to be the boss, as if he knows you fantasise about calling him your good boy just to have him melt in the palm of your hands.
"Are you sure you don't wanna try missionary first? I mean, what if I ruin it? You know I've never done this before..." you mumble, his hands gliding from your thighs to gently hold yours.
"You're not gonna ruin it, angel," he leans over to press his lips to yours, "I want you to follow your instincts, and you're gonna know if I like something, believe me. Just want you to tell me what you want."
And you do because once you both get started and find your rhythm, he's sinking down into the mattress, throwing his head back into the pillows with his hands grabbing your ass. He's whining pathetically about how good your pussy feels, gummy walls squeezing his pulsing cock tight, and his heads dizzy, heart pounding and reverberating in his ears. His stomach's tossing and turning, oddly tight but he's in heaven, and the fact you're moaning his name so airily, telling him how he's such a good boy for you doing as he's told just makes your rocking so much more arousing. You feel like your're floating, thighs aching and burning but Luke's hips are snapping up into you at a brutal pace, one that makes your tits bounce and has raw gasps slip from your lips, nails digging into his chest and you're so close. After all, he loves when you boss him around, whatever his baby wants, his baby gets.
"Lu, faster, fucking need your cock," you breathe out, his eyes opening, and you notice how blown out his pupils are, "M'gonna cum. Be good 'n make me cum."
"Yes ma'am," his groan's raw from his chest, like he's holding back his release for you, "M'gonna make you cum, gonna cum with you, fuck-"
"Cum, pretty boy, cum for me, show me how I make you feel. Wanna make a mess on your cock,"
And while you both may not have lasted long; you were together and that was the main thing. Together, comfortably and fell asleep cradled in each other's embrace with soft giggles.
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Author's note: What are you gonna do? Kinkshame me?
Relationship: Mortarion/Fem!Reader (to call it a relationship is kind of a stretch you only have his last name cause the vet paperwork requires it)
Warnings: NSFW, Nonnegotiable pet play (hampter), Degradation, Dehumanization, Kidnapping(?) Stockholm syndrome, Brief mention of reader having enough hair to put into a hair tie, Collar and leash, I dunno this is weird, This is totally unrelated to the Morty and his hot wife fic as much as his (future)wife would be down for being his pet, Inspired by @lemon-russ and her Mortarion pet fic series <3 and by inspired I mean like half of this fic is the exact fucking same cause i had trouble with the last half
The festering, bloated form of the Imperium was good for something, Mortarion thought.
Logistical tasks were nightmarish beyond all belief, shipments of requisitioned goods sent from place to place in the thousands if not millions. Many shipments disappeared outright; A planet now without food, a desperate front line without weapons. Efforts doomed purely on logistical error due to the sheer amount of traffic having to be handled.
It made slipping things between the cracks quite easy, however.
The box in Mortarion's hands is small by his standards, but for a human it would be quite sizable. They had offered to bring it to his quarters but he instantly refused, and Garro reiterated to the serfs that no one- including his own men- were to be near let alone in his quarters.
Not anymore.
When he enters the privacy of his chambers his shoulders relax slightly, and he hears the soft jingle of thin metal. It's quiet now- it used to be far louder but now that your cage is a bright display of plush blankets and toys, only weight on the exterior of the cage, and the metal of your collar, create any noise.
He smiles at the wide, excited look in your eyes, your fingers wrapped around the thin bars as you rise to your knees. The little dress you wear is still clean but a decent bit wrinkled, an array of lace and frills.
He'll have to change it; Along with a myriad of other chores he'll need to go after leaving you alone for so long.
"How are you, my little pet?"
You perk up and eagerly watch as he comes to let you out, but not too eagerly.
He doesn't like when you yelp and rattle the bars. He always wants you to be quiet above all else, especially during living hours.
"I have some new things for you, excited? Sit, and I'll show them to you."
You obediently listen legs curled to one side and nod, watching as he lowers himself to the floor on one knee. He grimaces and his bones crack and pop, but he manages. You look at him a bit worried, but you know he'll be fine.
You always love when he gets new things for you; New blankets, new pillows, new toys. Whenever things break he's always quick to get you new ones. It's so exciting to see what wonderful and colorful things he gets you from all of the places he's been, stuffing your life so full of plushness, soft fabrics and pastels.
The corner of his bedchambers your cage is in far more filled that it was when you'd first arrived, stuffed with spare things and little lights. If you were to just look at him, it would be almost funny; How lively and cute your home is in comparison to himself. His desk directly adjacent to you is solid wood, covered in burns, stains, and various bottles and jars.
In the moment it's nice, the free food, the blankets, the security; But when you think about it, its...
It's humiliating.
Degrading.
You feel less than human, though you suppose that's his intent; If anyone you knew ever saw you like this crawling around on all fours like a-
If any were alive.
Your planet was vicious, unforgiving. How you'd survived as long as you had was a miracle. To live there was to scavenge and fight for day to day survival, no thinking of the long term. You don't know if anyone you knew has even survived in few months you've been gone.
Has it been months?
Here, you're showered in plush toys and blankets, bowls and bowls of food. By a primarch no less. You were plucked from the sky by a being that from the sparse teachings of your forgotten planet was a man of incomprehensible power, a military of thousands at his disposal.
You even have a heating pad; Mortarion keeps the switch within your grasp after you wouldn't stop whining for him to turn it on.
For all intents and purposes, you're pampered. You are his pet, but you're safe, well taken care of, and loved.
It could be worse.
...could it?
You are still fully cognizant of that past life, before him. But why would you yearn for it's return- to a nightmare of struggle and fighting- when here, you're pampered and pet and fed until you're plump? You don't have to worry about anything. Your primarch does it all for you. Here you can sleep in a warm bed, eat your food and wait until master he returns and you can get some time out to stretch and play.
If you're very good, and he doesn't have any duties that take away his time, he'll let you sleep on his bed with him- not complaining when you crawl up to lay your head on his thigh.
He's been busy for a few days now, multiple nights you haven't seen him leaving you alone in the dark. It gets lonely, but you're patient- napping in your bed or playing with the myriad of toys he's given you. They keep you busy, but your little mind always wanders back to worrying if he's left you forever.
Reaching for the latch of your cage he undoes it and chuckles as you eagerly crawl to the entrance, almost visibly vibrating from excitement.
It's been days, and now he's going to let you out! You struggle to contain the excitement.
He opens the box and briefly shows you a peek of the things he's gotten you, before he gets distracted by something else.
"Your hair is such a mess. Come out."
He doesn't put a leash on you, letting you come out and stretch your legs a bit before getting back down. He sits at his desk, and motions for you to come by hitting his thigh.
When you do so, he begins to undo the tie in your hair and try to redo it. You wince a bit and move, earning a grunt of displeasure from him that turns into a mild coughing fit. Once he's finished coughing and clears his throat, he speaks at you.
"Stop wiggling."
You try to hold perfectly still as he fixes your hair, styling it the way he likes it. Sleeping in your bed for the past few days has made it messy, and you didn't have the tools to fix it yourself. Master does it for you anyways. He does it the way it should be, same with your clothes.
When he's almost done, he gestures for you to turn around so he can judge his own handiwork.
Something on his desk however begins making noise, and he looks in it's direction with no small amount of disdain. When he looks back at you, he grips your jaw and mushes your cheeks upward. It doesn't hurt, but it is a bit uncomfortable.
"Be quiet."
You nod- at least as best as you can.
He lets go of you and reaches to touch the device, and a voice starts talking.
"My primarch, Lord Fulgrim is attempting to vox you."
He lets out a loud sigh, clearing his throat once again. The dry scratchiness of it is palpable.
"Is it important?"
The man on the other side makes a contemplative noise, while Mortarion's rough skin brushes against the little hairs just in front of your ear. You tilt your head in the hopes he'll keep doing it.
"Lord Fulgrim did not specify when asked."
Mortarion pets you just a bit harder.
"...Let him through."
There's silence for a moment, before the voice acknowledges Mortarion and cuts away. A different voice fills the air a few moments later.
"Leaving Terra so soon Mortarion?"
The voice is smooth, melodic, and amused at Mortarion's expense. You continue to kneel silently between his legs. You lean against his calf a bit, lazily looking up at him. He looks down at you as he talks.
"I have many things that require my attention far more than your stupid parties, Fulgrim."
The voice on the other side chuckles, smooth and music-like.
"Fair enough. Guilliman and Lion were the same." He huffs before speaking again. "You think any of them would even miss my presence?
You perk up, but remain totally silent.
You missed him!
You missed every moment he was gone. Your cheek pushes against his leg harder in an attempt to show your thoughts without words, wrapping your arms around his calf, and he rewards you with a brush along your cheek. You smile happily.
"Probably not, though I could say that about more of the primarchs than just you." The voice quiets for a moment before speaking again. "Safe travels, Mortarion."
The voice is gone now and Mortarion returns his full focus to you, so you assume it's safe to make noise; Though you don't just in case.
"Good girl. You behaved." He looks at you. "Want a treat?"
A treat? Everything he gives you is so yummy, you nod and eagerly await whatever he's giving you. He gets up for a moment to retrieve it, before handing it to you.
You've tried taking food from his hands before, but he prefers if you just eat it from his fingers.
You take the treat, the yummy flavor hitting your tongue the moment your lips pull away from his fingers. There's a small something a bit hard in the middle, but you just chew through it. It doesn't effect the flavor in any noticeable way.
While you do, he latches your leash on the d-ring of your collar. You don't complain, just watching curiously as you chew your treat. He stands a few moments later, the leash wrapped around his hand.
"Come here."
You move to where he's going before the leash has a chance to snap taut, crawling onto his bed and onto his lap when he ushers you there.
"Did you miss me? It's been a few days."
You eagerly nod, hands gripping the fabric of his tunic. His lap is too big for you to straddle outright, so you straddle one of his thighs instead. When he raises that thigh, you instantly whimper at the feeling of pressure on your core. He sighs.
"Only a few days and you're already pent up again."
He sounds almost irritated, but he's quick to push around the fabric of your little dress to press his fingers against your cunt.
He toys and fiddles with your folds until they're nice and slick, whimpering in his grasp and trying to grind harder on his hand. Once he's done playing with you, he undoes the ties of his trousers to pull out his cock. It's half hard,
He leans back, pushing you until you almost straddle his hips and his cock lays rising between your thighs.
"Go on, pet."
You're so beyond pent up, even the toys he gives you weren't enough in the days he was busy. So it isn't long of grinding your sloppy cunt along his shaft before you're desperately trying to shove it inside of you, your master watching keenly as you move about awkwardly.
After only a minute or so of sliding up and down his cock do you feel a shudder run through you as a small orgasm rides up your spine, whining and biting your lip. Just the act of slipping him inside of you and feeling the stretch was so much, sinking into your tight heat. Your hands grip the material of his clothes tightly as he coughs, trying to hold them in enough to not be too loud for you.
"Poor pet, do you need more things to keep you busy while I'm gone?"
He mumbles something under his breath, something about an implant, but you're too busy trying to fuck yourself on him to really understand what he's mumbling about through the wet, sloppy noises.
It probably isn't stuff you should care about anyways. He handles all the complicated stuff, you just enjoy the things he gives you.
He tugs on the leash once, and you feel the fabric dig into the nape of your neck as you're pulled forward. You're beginning to tire, hips aching and sore. You slow down and grind down on him, groaning between your breaths.
"Do I spoil you too much? Are you getting lazy?"
No! You aren't lazy, just tired. Your mouth hangs slightly agape open mouth breathing, as he watches you.
"Keep going, pet."
You try and gather enough strength to continue, feeling his cock shift inside of you. His groans are louder and he accidentally begins pulling on your leash as he tries to steady himself with his arms, pulling you a bit forward as he finishes inside of you. The warmth and the feeling of his hips bucking up into you and jostling you around is what pulls another orgasm from you, whining over the sound of his groans.
After a few moments he slowly pulls from you, and you clench around nothing at the hollow ache, and feel some of his cum slip from you and dribble onto his cock.
He's quiet for a moment, before he sighs. You perk up expectantly waiting for what he has to say.
"You can sleep out tonight."
Your excitement is explosive, stretching your back with a squeak he finds endearingly cute. He needs to clean your cage he says, after a few days of not letting you out, the blankets are wrinkled and food crumbs are dusted around. Some of your toys need to be refilled with whatever treat was inside of them or some of another variety cleaned entirely, a thought that fills you with joy.
He lays a blanket on the foot of his bed, one of yours, and you move to sit on it and watch as he goes to change his clothes for sleep. When he returns and climbs into his bed, you watch eagerly before crawling closer.
You curl up next to his left thigh, laying your cheek against it. You look up at him and see the hollowness of his features.
He's so ghostly, yet he treats you so well. You've tasted and seen things you never knew existed.
Life...
It could be worse.
You could be scavenging for scraps- now you're curled up on your master's bed.
He reaches down and brushes his hand across the top of your head a few times, petting you. You push into his hand in a way that makes him chuckle.
"Good girl."
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Library
This is a collection of my favorite works that I would love to have on my shelf. Ongoing updates. Please support the creators because they deserve it. If you like any work — leave a comment and reblog. Believe me, they notice it :)
Oberyn Martell
—
Javier Peña
Just Friends by @pedrospatch
You’re planning to have sex for the first time and you’re nervous—Javi offers to show you a thing or two, but just as friends of course.
gonna make you sweat by @mypoisonedvine
he's your dad's best friend, he's a narc, he's the guy you've been calling 'tio' most of your life… so he's not the guy you want to run into when you're out partying a little too hard.
javi having an only fans by @gothcsz
You can be my daddy by @thesummerpetrichor
Father in law!Javier Peña x afab!fem!reader
Your soon to be husband leaves you at the alter, but you should have guessed since the practice seemed to run in the family. It’s hard to be upset however, when his father comes to repent for not only his own but son’s wrong doings. Aka fiancé’s dad Javi fucking you in your wedding dress after his son ditches you at the altar.
javi when he's arresting you by @gothcsz
Jack Daniels
Playing pretend by @bluebeary-jay
a simple mission turns out to be quite a challenge when you find out that you're partnered with Jack Daniels. oh, and that you have to pretend to be in love with each other. easy? not at all.
Frankie Morales
The First Time by @fettuccin-e
Size kink
Tag-Teaming by @fettuccin-e
Frankie "Catfish" Morales x Reader x Santiago "Pope" Garcia
Kinktober Day 5: Threesome
acts of service by @tonysopranosrobe
an unexpected admission leads frankie to make you an offer you can't refuse. this surely won't come with any consequences. OR you've never had your pussy ate and your best friend frankie helps you out.
The Real Deal by @strang3lov3
Frankie uses his tongue to demonstrate why he’s less than impressed with your rose toy.
As Long As I Want by @fettuccin-e
Din Djarin
Fifteen Minutes by @whocaresstillthelouvre
Din Djarin x Cam Girl Reader AU
Being a cam girl isn't as exciting as people think it is, that is until a mystery of a deep voiced man asks you what makes a woman feel good.
spent by @pedropeach
you're a prostitute and din pays you for your services.
Just This Once by @fettuccin-e
Kinktober Day 18: Squirting + Dacryphilia
Marcus Moreno
—
Dieter Bravo
your favorite kryptonite by @kedsandtubesocks
Comic Bookstore Owner!Dieter Bravo x F!Reader
you think it should be illegal for someone this hot to work at your favorite comics & fandom shop
Joel Miller
is it that sweet? by @pedropeach
you probably shouldn't let some random middle aged man on the beach take nude photos of you, right? right?
the body of christ by @studioghibelli
running from a past life full of alcohol, drugs, and sex, joel miller sought repentance through the priesthood. all was going fine and dandy, until one fateful day, you found yourself in his church.
‘my girl now. by @psychedelic-ink
joel is used to asshole clients, and when one of them calls him an old man and basically demands him to finish his girlfriend's kitchen in time, he expects you to be the same. But you're the opposite. when he learns how you've been treated, he comes up with a plan to get back at your boyfriend.
BITING DOWN by @psychedelic-ink
body piercer!joel miller x f!reader
you finally go and get your nipples pierced.
What you're missing by @toxicanonymity
dark!Joel x f!Reader
noncon somnophilia
the devil you do. by @studioghibelli
they say the devil has a tongue of silver. on the night he visits you for the first time, you learn that he really does.
Rotten by @alltheirdamn Part I Part II Part III
cowboy!joel x f!reader
Sharing land with Joel Miller has always been infuriating, but when your bad attitude finally gets his attention…things get messy.
run by @pedrospatch
Raider!Joel Miller x Female Reader
When you’re given the chance to run from your captor, you don’t take it.
Something Bad by @fettuccin-e
Kinktober Day 20: Corruption
sea spray & seashells & sandcastles by @ace-turned-confused
dbf!joel miller x f!reader
a relaxing weekend break by the sea is just what you need, but spending it under the same roof as joel miller might not be the kind of relaxing you had in mind
flesh for fantasy by @syd-djarin
Joel puts on a pair of pretty panties for you.
every man gets his wish by @joelsmochi
joel discovers his next door neighbor makes porn in her spare time. once she's confronted, she finds out that he has an interest in helping create content ;)
You wanted this (series) by @alwaysmicado
Joel and you have a fun dynamic going. You provoke him, he punishes you - you both get off. When you meet him after you’ve fucked someone else, he decides to show you who you belong to. It’s all fun and games, right?
SWEET CHERRY by @aurorawritestoescape
Joel takes your virginity. Gently, slowly, talking you through it.
Safety First by @strang3lov3
While camping, Joel insists on thoroughly checking you for ticks. Safety first, after all.
Caught In The Act by @mermaidgirl30
Thinking you’re home alone, you decide to unwind in bed, but the last thing you expect is to have Joel Miller, the man you’re renting a room from, find you naked in bed.
Marcus Acacius
—
Lucien Flores
—
Reed Richards
—
Other Characters
be my baby by @cavillscurls
logan howlett x f!reader
logan fucks you in your sundress.
good luck, babe! by @studioghibelli
abby anderson x reader
your boyfriend has been cheating on you. when you confront the woman he’s been seeing, she offers you a proposition.
Nightcall by @alwaysmicado
Marc Spector x f!reader
Marc is a bad habit you can’t shake.
Perfect Fit (series) by @ivystoryweaver
Nathan Bateman from Ex Machina x f!reader
You are Nathan's employee and are staying at his secluded home for experimental android purposes. Shenanigans ensue. Like - two Nathans shenanigans.
The Empty Room by @reallyrallyauthor
Nathan Bateman
Nathan uses his genius to give you a gift
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52 & 98 from the nsfw prompts for a sub!charlie kenton? 👀
congrats on 600 🥰
“Won’t you help me? Please?”
“I never thought I’d hear you say that, fuck, that’s hot.”
600 follower drabble masterlist
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, creampie, fem!reader, handjob.
wc: 697
a/n: happy thanksgiving yall! This year I'm thankful for topping hugh characters lmaoo. Anyways hope you have a good day whether u celebrate or not!
Charlie Kenton was not a man who let his guard down often. Even when he was happy and playful, there was always that cocky attitude. You've only seen him break it when he's with Max and that's only when they're alone. But this, seeing Charlie so desperate was something new.
You liked it.
You didn't mean to walk in on him with his cock in his hand. All you wanted was to ask him a question about an upcoming fight but you opened the door and he was laying on the bed with a flush faced. You should leave but then five words leave his lips and change everything.
"Won't you help me? Please?" He begs. He's desperate. You close the door behind you and crawl onto the bed. He grabs onto your waist and pulls you on top of him.
"Shit." He groans as you grind your hips on his cock.
"Naughty boy Charlie." You purr as you nip at his jaw. His fingers dig into your sides as he starts to buck his hips against you.
"So hot, want you so badly." He moans as you wrap your hand around his cock.
He watches in awe as you crawl down his body and spit on his cock. Stroking it hard and rough just like he wants. Occasionally you'll slip the tip into your mouth and suck lightly. Smirking as you watch his face twist in pleasure.
"Needa fuck you, please baby just sit on my cock." His cock twitches in your hand and you debate on giving into his pleas. On one hand you like watching him squirm like this. But you do want to feel his cock inside of you and see just how badly he really wants you.
"Fine," You say with fake disinterest. You strip yourself bare and Charlie watches your every move.
"No touching." You bat his hand away that was reaching for you. He huffs and you raise your eyebrow. Leaning down you grab his chin and tilt his face up.
"Don't be like that baby, why don't you be a good boy."
"I never thought I'd hear you say that, fuck that's hot." Charlie pants as you slide yourself onto his cock.
"So big." You whine as you bounce yourself at a fast pace. You don't give either of you a second to breathe. You want all of him as, as much as you can get. His knuckles are turning white as he grasps at the sheets. He wants to touch you so bad. Play with your tits, suck on them until you're moaning while his cock drives into you.
"Let me fucking touch you please! Please." He chants over and over again. The tip of his cock hits a spot inside of you that sends shivers through your body.
"Touch me Charlie fuck!" You cry as you try to drive yourself to the edge.
His hand reaches for your tits and squeezes them roughly. He leans up and takes one of your nipples in his mouth, his thumb playing with the other one.
"Gonna come, fuck Charlie." Your head falls against his chest as he starts to fuck his hips up, wanting to help you get to the end.
"Fuck yeah baby, use me. Use my cock and fucking come all over it." He groans in your ear.
With a loud moan you dig your fingers into his shoulders. Legs shaking as you come. Your cunt squeezes and flutters around his cock, driving him over the edge in an instant. Your sweaty bodies tangle with each other as you come down from your high.
"So you like being called a good boy huh?" You tease as you feel his cock twitch in your cunt. His cum spilling out of you just a little bit.
"Shut up." He mumbles. He doesn't let his grip on you falter though as you try and move.
"Cute." You hum as you cuddle up against him.
Now you know his little secret, that Charlie Kenton likes to be topped. You don't talk much about this night outside of the bedroom but when you're alone and in private, well he's still your good boy.
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not me getting irrationally frustrated with this eternal pissing contest between Brotherhood and '03 that somehow still seems to happen even though both shows can legally drink alcohol in Germany by now.
(i wanted to say "can drive a car" but, no, I refuse to use a silly little US-centric comparison for this)
They both have pros and cons. They both have strengths and weaknesses. They are not interchangeable and, to be honest, they are such deeply different stories it feels like an insult to constantly compare them to each other.
OF COURSE you're going to hate Brotherhood, if you expect it to be simply a "remastered" of '03 - '03 is a TRAGEDY and it sets itself up as a tragedy from the very first episode on! I mean, ALPHONSE ELRIC IS OUR NARRATOR! Is there anything more ominous than that? Edward Elric is inherently tragic in '03. Even when he's being silly, everything he does is tinged in grey sadness and a heavy cloud of "doomed" hanging over his head.
If you know this character - if you LOVE this character - of course Brotherhood is gonna disappoint the fuck out of you. Because Brotherhood is the OPPOSITE of a tragedy. It is a story about hope. About if enough people believe in the good of humanity, maybe we can actually change the course of history and create something hopeful.
If the story of '03 is "the path to hell is paved in good intentions" then Brotherhood is all about breaking the cycle of violence.
Neither of these concepts is inherently better or worse than the other. But you cannot compare them. Not really.
You cannot look at a tragedy and go "why is nobody laughing? why are they dying? why are they losing hope?" when all of these things are written into the foundation of the story itself.
AND
just as importantly. You cannot look at a story about hope and go "but why aren't the consequences more dire? why are two opposing forces fighting alongside each other? why are we having a laugh if the world is ending?" - when the answer to that question is: to create a better world you first have to dream of one.
You cannot expect Brotherhood to deal with the Ishvalen genocide to the degree of gruesomeness that '03 does (or with the degree of justified rage by Scar) if Brotherhood is fundamentally a story about breaking the circle of violence even when it fucking sucks. I am not saying Brotherhood couldn't have handled it better in parts (never adapted manga chapters, my beloved) but it just fundamentally isn't a story about a justified Ishvalen survivor trying to enact large scale revenge on the Amestrian military - that's '03.
And if you're looking for a darker look at militarism and imperialism (that doesn't try to offer you a idealistic hopeful ending) there is an entire 51 episode show about that! But don't go and complain when that show dares to end in tragedy. Don't complain if there isn't a happy ending, or if all your heroes end up deeply tragically sad and alone.
You can't compare apple and oranges, and you can't really compare Brotherhood and '03 - so any attempt at calling on better than the other kind of falls short.
"'03 is better!" - yeah, a better tragedy. A more realistic look at Ishval. A darker tale about personal responsibility and consequences. And the homunculi are just a touch more fucked up.
"Brotherhood is better!" - It certainly has more in-depth world building! And a very well-rounded ending. It certainly is a better story about hope. About coming together.
But they're not the same story. So, really, they shouldn't be treated as such.
#fma#fma 2003#fmab#fma brotherhood#fma meta#fandom wank#my stuff#i just....#it is hard to enjoy 03 when people constantly compare it to brotherhood#because they are sooooo different#and i am a brotherhood girlie#but 03 as a standalone is great#(okay that's a lie i am a manga girlie)#everything else still stands tho
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I'm reading A Lonely Place of Dying and Alfred latching immediately onto Tim is NASTY work. Tim shows up and is like "I never aimed to be Robin! I mean I did karate my whole life to emulate Robin and just so happen to have sought you out and grabbed this costume in my size out from that case and really you should be calling me Robin just for now and let me come with you as Robin but I never dreamed it would specifically be ME being Robin. You have a lovely house and home btw :) Now go back to being 10." And Dick's understandably like "No I am a grown man now who are you" and Bruce is not here for this one, but later on is like "You aren't Robin, you're some kid dressed up like my dead son." But Alfred?
IMMEDIATELY Alfred is implying Dick was trying to subtly ask Tim to be Robin (simply not true in in NTT 61, when the implication is made, although he changes his mind in Batman 442) and that Bruce should be grateful for this young man's profound bravery and immense natural skill and maybe show him a few pointers or something idk we'll see :) Like let's be clear, the idea that Tim didn't want to be Robin is simply not part of this story outside of like two lines of dialogue where he's like "oh I didn't consider it could be me!" after which he immediately goes "Wow so you ARE gonna let me be Robin right?" the second he sees the opportunity. The guy essentially makes himself Robin once Dick makes it clear he isn't gonna be. Dick tells Tim nobody should be at first (until he changes his mind) but is ignored because Tim doesn't get why and goes with what he understands, his own stance.
I'm of the opinion that the whole "Tim understands that being Robin is an arduous task full of suffering from the start and chooses to bravely yet sadly martyr himself for the cause" thing I see sometimes is strongly disproven, at least in the beginning of his Robin career, by his "Batman NEEDS a Robin (to love and care for and to watch out for him in return :) )" line of reasoning, his subsequent willingness for Anybody to be Robin whether or not it was him (unless he was consciously okay with other children suffering for his benefit which I find really hard to believe,) and his active glee at anything involving being Robin and persistent smiling pursuit of Doing So against Batman's strong disapproval, because he hasn't officially said no (he did several times, but you can't blame a kid for being excited.) Like, I think he said he never dreamed of being Robin just because having a kid come in begging to replace Batman's dead son because it was a personal aspiration would be extraordinarily rude and arrogant and they wanted people to like this one. He was NOT in any way adverse they just couldn't make him THAT presumptuous, and he is by nature of what he's doing already moderately so.
But say it was true, that Tim was actively opposed to being Robin? Alfred would be pushing this shit HARD onto this thirteen year old kid like what the fuck bro. And "From what Master Richard said, he follows your orders." is HEINOUS but let's not get into that.
#of all the robins so far Bruce has foisted Robin on Tim is by far the least Foisted#“Even if he's right I dont want another Robin” vs “He doesn't want me but he hasn't told me no yet :)”#“You can't kill batman or nightwing!” “Or Robin?? :D”#bro is literally “And Bumblebee!”#tim says he never wanted it for himself but he actively seeks out being Robin so I think that's like “oh i never imagined”#^I've finished reading through and other dialogue directly confirms this#“yeah it hasn't occurred to be that I could ever be Robin but yk just in case-ies I've been actively preparing to be Robin half my life”#I considered the “being robin is a burden” angle to that line but if that IS what he's saying#it would be pretty fucked up that he'd be okay with anyone being Robin him or not. Like he doesn't come into this AIMING to be Robin#because he's never thought about it#and he clearly has no sense of why Dick is saying no so I can't fully buy into that#I guess the best answer rlly is him being like “oh little old me being robin? :o well gosh golly im doing that now”#i mean the actual best answer is “whoops fuck actually people want Robin back in the story egg on our face with that one”#but yk. in universe#“if they think they can kill Robin with no repercussions who will they hunt down next!”#I mean. They can do that. It becomes a major issue that they can in fact do that with no repercussions. They would be right because its tru#In his first story Tim is ALREADY hyping up the cops as an impregnable force. This is subtle Chuck Dixon foreshadowing#tim drake#batman#dc comics#alfred pennyworth
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Lazy Day In Yuji's Dorm
Yuji's head was on your chest one hand on your boob (he's a perv) watching you scroll through Instagram on your phone. He yawned then squeezed your tit making you laugh and say "You're a fucking freak bitch" you grabbed his hand taking it from your knocker and holding it. He giggled at your gesture then looked back your phone "You should be more romantic" you rolled your eyes smiling then you also looked back at your phone. Then you maybe so happened to scroll past a gay guy twerking naked and busted out laughing with Yuji "Wait huh what?!" he scrolled back up laughing watching it again.
"Don't ask m-Yuji! Baby are you gay?" you laughed out as he watched the video again making his laughing stop, "What?" he looked at you in all seriousness. You laughed again "You scrolled back up to see it again... is there something you need to tell me" you barely got out without laughing, he laughed again "Wait, no it was funny " he scrolled back down, "But if it makes you question my loyalty towards you" He sat up off your chest. "Wait what" You tilted your head "You responded to fast you were supposed to let the silence go on longer" He pouted making you kiss his cheek and say "My little pink dumdum".
He leaned into your touch then pulled back "No you called me gay" he turned around "Yuji bring your fine ass over here" you pulled his hoodie making him lazily fall on his back and ending with a kiss . "I love you" you cheesed he smiled "Can I grab your boobie again" you frowned at him as soon as he got it out "After I pour my soul out to you" now it was your turn to turn away from him. He grabbed your waist and made you both fall on your side "I really do love you" he kissed the back of your head "But can I please grab one!" he said that like it gonna make it better.
"Yuji get the fuck on"
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My first post im excited and whoever's reading this i js hope you enjoy sorry if its all over the place or misspelling its late i got random motivation don't do me 😭
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori#jjk fluff#yuji fluff#yuji x reader#itadori x ready#fantasy#yuji x black reader#yuji x y/n
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i've written an Emmrich x Rook daddy kink fic but the real question is when i'm going to get around to writing a Lucanis x Rook mommy kink fic with Lucanis as the mommy ;)
#LISTEN I SEE A DARK HARIED BROWN EYED MAN WHO COOKS AND GO “MOMMY? SORRY. MOMMY??”#i did it with gale dekarios and i'll do it again with Lucanis#and when i write it as a POLYCULE WITH DADDY EMMRICH???? oh it's gonna be so fucking fun#literally can't finish any fics because the second i sit still for too long i start coming up with another one that i have to write#the wip i have in my head is lucanis overhears rook and emmrich participating in daddy kink (something they've not done with him around yet#and he ALSO overhears emmrich referring to him as rook's mommy and something Awakens in him#for a brief second i thought about giving Emmrich the mommy treatment but i like the thought of calling peepaw daddy too much lol#people who follow me for dragon age content i'm so sorry. you're going to have to put up with this thought train for as long as it lasts#my bad :)#emmrich volkarin#emmrich x rook#lucanis dellamorte#lucanis x rook#dragon age the veilguard
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Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.
Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!
Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!
If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp
i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand
many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you
also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)
#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them#if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person#you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect#and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops#i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck#seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate#if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted#if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use#'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way#a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels#so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process#you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them#but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you#anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol#(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really#i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.
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Line for you to find:
“It’s yet another reason I didn’t want to involve my family. I’ve never done anything I didn’t believe in—but that doesn’t mean I haven’t crossed hard lines.”
I have to concede this one to you, Mr. Pyren. I knew I recognized it, but I couldn't place it even after over half and hour of brainstorming. Because I got it in my head that it was an Alden quote, but when I couldn't find it I went to the internet to double check, and unfortunately it showed me the page number, so I ruined the test </3
alas! it is so obvious now that I've gotten past the Alden thing! but I think it's no surprise I missed the lodestar quote, that book mysteriously vanishes from so many memories
#quil finds quotes#quil's queries#fintan-pyren#i wish I hadn't ruined it for myself I would've liked this challenge#the way I've been timing it for reference. is I don't start the timer until I actually open the first book#any brainstorming before that is free game#but once I hit 15 min or I can tell I'm off and I'll allow myself to look up the quote for a tiny bit more context to jog my memory#i did it with one other#and that didn't show me the page number#so I thought i'd be good here#alas. I was not#if I'd stopped thinking about alden and remembered it was juline?#would've taken me like 3 minutes tops she's not here a lot. so#but anyway! touche fin!#in my head you are like. my companion. my rival but we are on the same side. and also friends and not rivals. you know?#we've both got keeper special interests so in my head we are brain beaming each other always#I would say equals but I don't want to imply everyone else is inferior#do you get what i'm saying#like. if I fuck something up you're gonna be the one to call me on it over anyone else#said positively#i'm getting distracted woop
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being friends with byan is so weird bc they say they want you to have the balls to be bluntly honest with them, but then the very moment you're honest about something they don't like, they're peacing out, all "lmao ok friendship ended byeeeee"
#honesty is great until you're addressing their insecurities or anything they're currently in denial over#they have a... weird relationship with honesty lmao#they'll be harshly honest about almost anything and not pull a single damn punch#they will tell you easily that their biological mother didn't want them and that they've lived on the street#they'll tell you that they haven't had a foster home last more than 10 months & that one of their foster parents almost killed them#but they won't tell you about the misery these events caused & how its shaped them as a person#and then there's the way they can dish it but can't take it#they'll tell you to your face everything that's wrong with you (in their opinion)#but the moment you do the same back.... lmao fuck you what the hell kinda bullshit#they're so SO sensitive. so much more so than they let on. and they don't tolerate being called on their shit well.#but I think part of that is bc they spent a lot of their life being belittled rather than built up#and they ended up feeling like every time they were abandoned it was bc of their flaws#so if ur pointing them out........ it's only a matter of time before ur leaving too. so they better leave first.#but also they just hate being Seen. they hate when someone can see behind their facade.#if someone else can see ur pain that means it's really there or something :)#idk I have way more thoughts about this than I realized when I started typing and now the tags are gonna be longer than the post oops#might....... have to make a note to get into all this in a more in depth headcanon at some point#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.
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Idk why i expect charitability from ppl who probably listen to whatever their staple favorite left-leaning video essayists says about the Other Leftists they dont like and takes it to heart and doesnt form their own opinion with the information provided (or the information specifically and intentionally left out to make the person look the worst that they can) just kinda does whatever that persons says because Its Probably Correct
I mean, theyre "on the left" and uses all the words you like, nevermind what their intentions or long terms goals are or how thatd reasonably be practiced irl or if it'd actually hurt the general cause of progressives and make things even more divisive and worse bc they value being petty more than actually having any values.
#yall be like 'i better go watch this black person who believes in racial separatism and take everything they say to heart and not form my#own opinion because the Correct Thing To Do is to let every minority im not say shit that would only help nazis in the long run Because Im#Not That Minority So Clearly I Have No Stake In This'. like idk. its one thing to pretend you understand every thing about a certain#minorities experience that you dont have. its a whole other thing to actually challenge people on their beliefs. and if the person you#are challenging cant give you a good enough answer or dodges or gets MAD at you for even asking - you should probably avoid them or at the#very least not just believe every fucking thing they say and never come to your own conclusions on shit.#people are supposed to have the critical thinking ability to have their beliefs challenged and give you an actual answer#theyre supposed to want you to understand. theyre supposed ro be able to explain it to people who dont understand#and arent in the same spaces enough to understand. if you cant explain to me why racial separatism is somehow Ideal then why should#i listen to you. just to do whatever you say no questions asked or else im bad and very problematic?#like how am i supposed to take this kinda person seriously when they go around calling shark3ozero the c word and other#racist shit. like you're not serious lol. you have no issue just acting like the people who disagree with you on something are just purely#bigots.#when the people you attack are far more on your side than the fucking republicans who yall barely even mention. which is interesting.#anyways if you believe in dividing everyone by race understand that thats LITERALLY what white supremacists want. that is Not the ideal#world for me. idk about you. and if you understand this and still follow me gtfo of here#you're a dipshit and prolly an accelerationist and i dont have time for your bullshit and likely nihilism.#you're gonna end up killing yourself thinking the world is only ever against you and everyone who disagrees w you is a bigot.#and i dont mean necessarily actually putting up a noose i just mean you're gonna isolate yourself SO MUCH from other ppl and stay only in#your one little space. that if you ever lose that space for whatever reason you'll be left alone w no help.#or you'll isolate yourself so much and stay inside forever and be hella paranoid in grocery stores thinkin everyone there Wants To Kill You#and im not gonna act like ik whats in the mind of someone who believes in racial separatism. that was more of an example. but i can try#to understand and i can tell that someone has to go through a lot of bs to think thats the only solution. im not trying to downplay why ppl#might think thats the best option. but really its the same shit w terfs and cis men and it kinda seems like its a solution born from trauma#with convoluted justifications for why its Fine actually#thats how it looks from my angle rn. if thats not the case and you feel like its different im always willing to hear different angles on#stuff. im never married to my positions as im not exactly a static person who never changes.#id say thats quite the opposite of my Whole Thing
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