#like. i dont use the two interchangeably but im not sure what defines them???

[ravs6709]

I THOUGHT HE WAS A CHIPMUNK THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME

Confession: I don't think I know the difference between the two

[rouge-the-bat]

❤💖♡💜💙 LesBian - LesbiPan ❤💖♡💛💙

Bi Lesbian / Pan Lesbian: identifying specifically in an area where neither just bi/pan or just lesbian feels quite accurate for yourself. you mostly/exclusively like people who are girls, feminine, or androgynous, whether its from their identity, presentation, or otherwise.

why do just bi/pan and just lesbian not feel right for someone whos a bi lesbian or pan lesbian? there could be different opinions people have for that, but for me i so very rarely like a guy -and 9 times out of 10 when i do theyre fictional- that it doesnt feel quite right to call myself just bi, but since i do like guys sometimes, it doesnt feel quite right to call myself just lesbian. and also i realized anyone i like are always girls or feminine/andro, so any time i do like a guy, theyre fairly androgynous or feminine. its far passed/different than just “bi/pan with a preference”, its a mixture of both bi/pan and lesbian to mean something different than either of the terms alone, and “preference” doesnt suffice in defining it.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

i have seen around some different terms/flags for this sort of meaning but not much of any general widely accepted versions. they all mean the same thing or are at least very similar!! from what i have seen there has been:

fem-: femromantic/femsexual has two flags !

fin-: finromantic/finsexual has 1 flag!

woma-/woman-: womaromantic/womasexual has 2 flags!

venus-: venusromantic/venusexual has 1 flag!

im not completely sure on this but i believe these terms all can be used interchangeably with the different flags! (or maybe merged like fembi/fempan!)

and additionally theres a prefix of gyne-/gyno-, but as those prefixes usually are used to refer to female body parts, its often not comfortable for some to use. i myself dont like using them as im ace and dont like body stuff in general, and as the terms can easily come across as transphobic/used transphobicly. however if you are comfortable with gyne-/gyno- and dont use them transphobicly then go for it !!!

then finally, i also made myself a couple alt flags that can be used with any of the above terms ! i mostly relate it to fem- and bi lesbian but any can fit~

the left one i made from scratch, and the right one i overlayed the bi flag and lesbian flag together then adjusted the saturation/contrast!

remember, sexuality and gender are both very fluid things that are hard to define oftentimes and exist on a very broad scale and cant be described in just strict categories. specific sexuality/gender identities just help people get a better grasp of pinning down things and describing themselves! ive dealt with enough people not willing to listen to my side and being rude to me on this site so if you hate on this post you will be blocked immediately and thats it, dont waste your time

[imjustheretotalk-blog1]

Entry 1- Why Not?

So, if you’re reading this, chances are you don't know me or really know how you ended up here. Ironically enough, we have both traits in common. When people ask me what I like to do, what makes me happy, to tell them something about myself, I tense up. Sure there’s the generic answers I could give, I like to write, I like movies, Rock music, etc but is that really how im supposed to define myself?  Am I really just a mixture of  interchangeable interests? A Picasso piece of talking points ?

To be honest, I feel like it makes me feel shallow. I know a lot of incredibly talented, inspired people who can define themselves down to the molecule. They can tell you how they love to sit in meditation and become one with the world, or how they can paint their problems away. They can sign up for college courses and know exactly where they want to end up because THEY HAVE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT.  But not me.

Regardless, if you're reading this,  you probably want to understand why I’m writing this.  I really don't have anyone to talk to. Sure I have friends, some Ive known for almost (if not over) a decade.But none of them really want to talk or see me anymore. Ever since we all hit legal drinking age and college life, most of them just want to drink and go to parties or bars. Guess a socially anxious nerd who has never found an alcohol he likes isn't someone to invite out.

I have a girlfriend, my wonderful, beautiful, incredibly talented girlfriend ( I can almost guarantee an entry on her) but we aren’t a perfect couple. I mean I know that no relationship is but we do have some problems. A lot of these problems, we cant really talk about. How do you just casually bring up that the fact that the super personal secret she has admitted exists but wont tell you about is really causing your already unstable mind to go to the worst of extremes. How do you do that and not guilt trip her into telling you and then feel even more like a piece of shit because she isn't ready to tell you everything about herself? We’ve been together almost 2 years. We are planning on moving in together in an apartment possibly as soon as this year depending on how money flows after graduation. I want to propose to her. At the same time, i feel like my mental health and instability is pushing her away and she feels guilty for wanting to leave. She isn’t as affectionate as she used to be. She rarely holds my hand when we go out. She doesn’t kiss me in public like she used to. She makes time for friends but when it comes to us, we go on a date maybe twice a month at most. She works HARD at two jobs to pay for her car and college. Im goddamn proud of her. I just wish I knew without a doubt that she loves me as much as I love her. Could be real feelings could be my mind fucking with the only thing that makes me truly happy. I dont know anymore.

I have a family. My mom is supportive and a good cook, but Ive never felt comfortable talking to her about my problems or ask for help. My dad, is a day by day story. Some days hes great, will surprise you and maybe even say something supportive. Other days he will rip the t shirt off of your back because you're sitting in his chair or punch your mother because hes stressed.They got divorced (?) almost 5 years ago but still live in the same house and now sleep in the same bed? I still don't understand how that works to be honest, if its facade  they put up until my high school freshmen brother goes off to college perhaps?  My siblings are on similar ground. My brother is a good kid, makes a lot of the same mistakes i did at his age but  I think he will turn out better. I just wish he wasn't so cocky and arrogant so that way we could have real discussions some times. My sister is going to graduate high school the same time time im graduating college. We don't talk. We live in the same house, but we don't talk. She hates me because she sees me as worthless and stupid and below her. I envy her because life has been handed to her. Shes a 4.0 student, shes popular, athletic,wins awards all the time, has a consistent job and got accepted into one of the best colleges in the country. I barely graduated high school, I literally had to beg on my knees crying with my mother behind me to get accepted into college, my job as concert security doesn't pay because we don't get enough events in a week AND im going to be out of a job in October because its shutting down.

So here I am, with no one to really talk to or express myself to, typing my life story up on an internet blog in hopes someone will read it. Subsequent entries will tell more of my story but this is pretty good introduction into who and where I am.

-C