#like. i am struggling to strike a balance here as i approach year 4 in this space lmao.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

asking honestly: how do we address conspiratorial thinking in this fandom without people getting their feelings hurt?

[comehomeducklings]

Past [Part 3] (Obsession)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Tom Riddle's Moodboard

Main Character's Moodboard

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

1940 - 3rd year

There’s no chance of getting out of this. Our mentor must be out of their mind. No smooth sailing this period, not for me. Nothing at all has prepared me for this point in time.

My heartbeat rises by the second. At the brink of jumping out of my chest. I constantly try to reassure myself as I prepare. Forcing the illusion that I have everything together.

I most definitely don’t have anything, not a crumb, together.

My hands sweat with anticipation, my wand almost slipping off multiple times. The magical stick even wants to run away from this situation. I’ll start running with it soon enough.

The whole room is quiet in expectation. The tension levels in this area are too high for me to even start to comprehend. All I can hear is the sounds of my breathing and the occasional ruffle of robes. The high regard these people hold for me isn’t doing me any favors. I’m about to ruin any confidence anyone holds in my skills.

My friends are holding their thumbs up for encouragement. It does little to calm my panic, but I appreciate the effort anyway. Other acquaintances from the same house nodded their heads in an attempt to console my emotions.

Before the teacher signals to start, he gives us a bit to come up with a plan. Ten seconds at most. Now, this isn’t something possible to win. Not against him, no. My only goal here is to last as long as I can and don’t mess up.

Act smart, seem like you know more than you do.

He looks as easy-going as ever. This may seem like a walk in the gardens to him. No “threat” whatsoever to make him feel uneasy. I’m quite irritated at the thought of being anything but a challenge. He may be a little right, but that doesn’t help my ego.

Easy, I’m nothing easy.

Riddle might be stronger at this, but that doesn’t mean I'm complete garbage. I can hold my own, I will hold my own.

My breathing patterns change into more of a deep inhale and exhale. Focusing on completely dropping my heart rate and keeping my thoughts intact. Madam Rose, the school nurse, hates seeing me walk in there. Frequent visits from dealing with plants has her hair getting pulled out. I don’t think Miss Rose would be too keen on me passing out from the lack of oxygen.

“Only stick with the one basic spell of force. For both offensive and defensive tactics.”

Riddle’s atmosphere surrounding him is focused, deadly. He hasn’t moved his gaze from my lips. Probably on guard for whenever I cast something. I’m slightly unsteady on my feet from nerves. It’s almost suffocating being under all these watchful eyes.

A snake takes their time to strike. They examine all angles where you may be weak. Testing the vulnerability of your actions and thinking process. A few testing snaps of their mouth can tell them how the fight will go. They are well-balanced and focused, masters of intimidation.

Breathing.

Oxygen informs the snake how much you’re able to hold on for. The more you intake, the tighter it gets. Restricting the amount of oxygen the prey respires. Until they are physically unable to anymore, slowly weakening. The fight they were presenting lessens to almost non-distinguishable. The prey’s struggling to get free, dying down. Then it passes away, openly given to the snake without any more thought. A mere temporary meal in its eyes.

“Begin.”

Our eye contact is steady, neither of us moving an inch. Our mouths are closed shut, wands at the ready. I slightly squint my eyes while I focus. If he’s waiting for me to go first he is out of luck. I’m not budging, we will stay in the same position until next period if we have to.

Riddle also slightly squints his eyes. His hand doesn’t shake even if his wand was out in the air for a long time. The arm he holds out is steady and unmoving. Nothing triggers my attention since his movements are of little importance. I search his eyes for any life, no emotion is found swirling in those charcoal black eyes. Absolutely brilliant and fierce when focused or aggravated. The class starts getting rowdy, finally allowed to talk since Riddle just made the first move.

There’s only one spell I need to remember, that makes it a little easier to think of ways to find my opening. I quickly revert the spell away from me and send it right back. A tennis match is played between that one spell. Tom huffs and sends his enchantment straight towards the ground. It bursts into tiny magical specks of green. During that time I sent a spell his way.

After a while, I start to notice right before he casts a spell he moves his mouth like he inhales to take a breath. I’ve noticed him do it quite often. Since he casts fairly quickly there wasn’t much to go off of. Not much to use to my advantage. When he “inhales” he’s most of the time not actually breathing in air. It’s just a simple movement he does. It might be because of his accent, the way he learned to talk. Quite a small little quirk of the lips.

To start testing out this theory I centered most of my attention on his mouth. Waiting to see if my theory was reliable enough to depend on. He’s starting to gain more offensive attacks on me. Most of my spells undecidedly move more defensive by the minute.

Right before he mutters the words, I send a spell of my own. The magic aiming for his knees. Before he could defend himself from that one I prepared another offensive conjuration to his wand. He forwarded an incantation my way and I hurriedly obviated the sorcery as it was also heading to my stifle joint. Some of the force still slightly makes contact with my left knee. My balance is suddenly thrown off.

As I scramble to catch my footing, Riddle with point accuracy parries my wand attack. Then diverts my knee attack towards my right knee. Since I was focused on stabilizing my posture I didn’t notice the spell approaching my other knee

Forthcoming my inevitable demise.

I end up planting both hands on the ground. My knees falling one after the other from the pressure.

Our audience starts yelling complaints and praise. Calls for a rematch and cheats. My loss was bound to happen, but I did get to do that three combo. Two offensive and one defensive, all in the span of 5 seconds. Not too bad if I say so myself.

“Mr. Riddle wins this duel. Excellent job to the both of you. A very good strategy was well thought out for each side.”

I make my way down the steps on my platform’s side. Immediately being greeted by hugs and pats on the back.

At least my feet didn’t get tied together from restlessness causing me to fall and he wins the duel immediately. I would have dropped out right then and there from embarrassment.

There’s barely any feedback for Riddle, his little posse praising him like a king. People either saw no fault in him or were too frightened to actually comment on it publicly.

For me, that’s another case. Quite a bit of suggestions are offered, keep my form ready and my attention on more than one thing. Any and all advice is welcomed. Who knows how it can help me one day.

Amelia hugs my side with the biggest grin on her face, “You did so well! I think he actually had to work a little for that win.”

Everyone is dismissed and we head our way to Herbology. Tom’s face looks as if he’s already forgotten about the duel. His body language remains tranquil as ever.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

Bubotuber pus, one of the grossest things I’ve had the misfortune of learning at home. Now I have to live through it again? How can one endure harvesting the essence?

“All of you are required to wear gloves for today’s class. Does anyone know what effects you would have when touching this substance with your bare skin?”

Quite a number of students raise their hands. I’m guessing they did research on why they needed to buy these gloves when handed the school procurement catalog.

Exactly what I did, curiosity might actually kill the cat.

“Yes, you sweet girl,” she picks, “What’s your name?”

“Merlene,” the student answers, “If you touch this without protection then extremely painful boils will appear in its stead.”

“Correct! 5 points to Hufflepuff,” she claps.

My fingers already lay inside the dragon-hide gloves. Its rough texture rubs against the calluses from dealing with the harsh stems of different plants.

This substance is usually processed to be used for acne treatments. Only touched in its weakened state. Oddly satisfying to some, I am not a part of that group of people

“This is disgusting,” I say as I harvest the pus. My gagging reflexes acting up every time the plant gets squeezed.

A few students chuckle at my remark. They seem to be having a good time, weirdly focused on this substance. It smells of petrol, not a big fan of the scent. Reminds me of the sketchy gas stations my parents and I would take on family road trips.

Its thick goo is finally contained in bottles. Relief washes over me from finishing the collecting process. My gloves are removed and I do a quick spell to clean my area. Nothing really fell on it so it didn’t need scrubbing beforehand.

Amelia seems to just be finishing her plant. A lot of goo splashed all over her table. Luckily it doesn’t seem like any of that touched anyone’s face or uncovered arms.

“I’m just about done, can you help with cleaning please?” Amelia starts collecting all of her bottles into her arms. None of the glass vials touched in green gunk.

“Yeah, I got you, turn those in to the professor.” I immediately started helping her out. In that process, I also cleaned other’s messes too. Why not, there is still time to waste until we can all leave. Cleaning products smell better than whatever chemicals intoxicate the air.

“Pop quiz, shout out the answers. Why not use spells instead of treated bubotuber pus for treatments?”

Easy question, I whisper the answer in Amelia’s ear when she comes back from turning in the assignment so she can shout it.

“Using spells proves to be too risky, like the Eloise Midgen incident,” she answers.

Good, she remembers Eloise's event.

“Yeah, she cursed her nose off, poofed from existence,” a girl from Hufflepuff adds.

“Precisely, everyone has permission to leave now,” the professor exclaims, “don’t head out without cleaning or I’ll reduct points. Last time a student got boils all over their hand from an improperly cleaned station.”

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

“It actually went decently. Nothing blew up, surprisingly.”

At lunch, we are all talking about our first three classes. Potions being our first topic.

“Thought as much, I saw your stupid grin. You looked like you just won the wizarding lottery,” I say with my mouth stuffed with food. Hoping they could understand me between my chews.

“Both of you, slow down. The food ain’t going anywhere damn,” Devyn laughs.

Amelia and I pause, we look at each other, then at Devyn, then back to us. After a silent halt in our actions, we continue to shove down a bunch of food.

“I noticed you kept gagging at the pus. You looked queasy, your face was so pale.”

I audibly shiver at the recollection of said class. My eyes were watering so bad there. That stuff would never stop coming.

“I’m eating, stop mentioning that nasty stuff,” Amelia starts shaking her head. If only I could see the thoughts forcefully being shaken out of her head.

“You should have seen her station. That stuff was everywhere. How bad is your aim, the opening to the bottle wasn’t that small?”

“It wasn’t even that!” she drops her fork, “I squeezed that bloody plant too hard and it squirted everywhere!”

“Poor choice of words,” Devyn snickers. All she gets is a shove from me.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, she’s clearly traumatized.”

Devyn shoves me back, “You’re clearly traumatized from the duel. The one you failed at, the one-”

“I’m aware of the duel you’re talking about,” I interrupt, “I bet you wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did.”

“Oh please, you’re just salty about losing.”

I roll my eyes and subconsciously scan the room for him. There he is, mysteriously talking to his group of buddies. After a little bit, he catches onto my staring. He briefly looked around him to see if I was looking at something else. Finally, he comes to the realization it was in fact him I was blessing with my attention.

During this, he was talking to his friend next to him. He stopped his conversation to completely give me his attention. The guy he was just talking to engaged in another conversation quickly.

The moment was interrupted with hands waving in front of my face, “You gonna eat that?”

“Nah I’m full, go ahead.”

Riddle continued on with his food. Never looking my way again.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

“Hey, uh, Riddle you have a second?”

I stop him by tapping his shoulder a couple of times. His height already makes mountains seem molecular.

He furrowed his eyebrows and glances at the shoulder I just touched. Making it a scene to dust that part off, what an ass.

“No, I really don’t have a second,” he responds.

“Well that, really, sucks for you huh. Can you teach me techniques for dueling?”

“No,” he starts to turn away.

“Please, you will get one favor from me. Whatever you need.”

Tom turns back around, “Anything? Does that favor expire?”

I shake my head no. If he plans to wait a long time he’ll probably forget about it. He seems to be deep in thought for a bit. No rush really since we're on our break. If he agrees I could get ahead of so many competitors.

“Fine, every Friday afternoon starting tomorrow in the Room of Requirement.”

He immediately strides away while I stare back in shock. My brain didn’t expect him to actually accept. Getting this far wasn’t a very possible outcome.

Now I just have to find out where the Room of Requirement is located.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

Taglist:

@empath-bunny

@jinxqsu

[brideofcthulhu10]

Could you do a reaction where the lost boys are hanging out with their S/O at their house. It’s 3 am and s/o falls asleep. They hear a crash down stares so the boy investigates, his face all vamped out. They find the s/o younger sibling in the kitchen who is around 4 yrs old with their hand in the cookie jar. The sibling sees them with their fangs and runs over to them yelling “Kitty”! The next night their s/o tells them they are tired because their younger sibling Made them look for a cat.

Okie doke, super specific but I think I did a damn dandy job on it if I do say so myself lol. Well, I hope you enjoy it!

The Bats Being Cats

Lost Boys × fem!S/O fluff with little brother

David 

It was a rare occurence when David slept outside of the hotel, but with the numerous break ins he didn't feel comfortable leaving you alone. You insisted you weren't alone! 

"Having a stray neighborhood cat you feed doesn't count as protection," he retorts, arms crossed. 

"No that's not what I mean-"

"-Just let me keep any eye on you, kitten. Please?"

Being asked please by David just made your heart ache. Pleasantries were partially limited as it was but David was not one for saying please. You sighed, taking his hand in yours. "Fine, but please don't kill anybody. My parents would be pissed if someone got blood on the carpets."

All had been going pretty well, you managed to cook him up a home made meal for once having to repeatedly remind yourself absolutely no garlic, and after a slashers marathon on TV you were ready for bed. It was only 2 am! David was far from tired, but at your behest he obliged under protest. Being the nocturnal vamp he was, he just laid beside you while you slept enjoying the peace and quiet. Beds weren't exactly his forte so it didn't make him any less awake. Too squishy. The loud banging coming from the kitchen didn't exactly serenade him into slumber. 

An intruder huh? Well, you did say not to kill them… but you never said anything about mmaiming. Besides, he had to skip a blood meal to be here, might as well have some fast food while you were off in dreamland. David gently scooted himself off the bed as best he could without disturbing you and pulled the blankets over. Watching you burrow against the pillow made him smile softly, pushing your hair out of your face. Slowly he leaned in for a tender kiss, after all he wasn't in a hurry. "Sleep tight kitten, I'll be right back."

Carefully he slunk down the stairs with ease. Sure enough a stream of light trailed off from the dining room. The closer he got the more he continued to hear rattling within the kitchen. Drawers slowly rumbling as the were slid open, the cabinets squeaking, the… chairs being scraped across the floor? 

Okay so they were a very short burglar, whatever. Turning the corner with fangs ready to tear into whatever pitiful mortal thought it wise to enter his mate's home- who the hell is that?

Rather than a short man dressed in all black, he had come to find a small boy sitting on the counter in a red race car t-shirt with matching race track print shorts elbow deep in a dog-shaped jar labeled "COOKIES". Currently the tiny pastry thief was smeared with chocolate chips and crumbs, half a cookie sticking out of his mouth. There was such a heavy awkward silence and they both just stared at each other until the boy finally gasped. "Wow you're a big kitty!"

"Ki-?" Immediately David became flustered as the little one scrambled off his kitchen chair ladder and HUGGED HIM. David immediately scrunched his body together as if it could make him smaller. He hardly hugged anyone other than you, the sensation was almost so foreign he nearly rejected the crumb coated tyke who was smearing chocolate on his jacket. Grrrreat. 

"Uh.. Yeah sure, kitty, let's go with that," he quickly dismissed the kid, awkwardly patting his head. "Kitty says off to be or I'll tell-"

"You can't tell Y/N! She'll tell mummy when they can't back!"

Mummy? Go figure you forget to mention you had a little brother! "Well then we better go to bed then, huh? Otherwise we'll both get in trouble. See, your sister doesn't want me getting lost around the house showing off my teeth. So we gotta keep that a secret, got it?"

The boy quickly nodded, pretending to zip his lips shut. Watching David put the cookies higher that the chair could help him reach. With cheeks puffed up he stomped away, whining under his breath that the mean kitty was no fun. David rolled his eyes, sinking away his fangs back into his mouth. With dawn approaching he debated his options, quickly scribbling down a "sleeping in here, do not open" to tape on your closet, using a wadded up towel to seal up any cracks. Not ideal, but better than being burnt to a crisp. Once the sun went down again, he came out to see you utterly disheveled. How were you tired you slept half the night, if anything he should be tired! Well apparently your little brother B/N insisted he found a giant, bossy kitty cat "with a dumb hair cut" in the house and demanded you spent all day helping him find it. David hadn't the heart to tell you, although the chair cut line made him tempted to scare the little turd. Maybe not, so he just shrugged it off suggesting perhaps the kid was sleepwalking.

Dwayne

Well Dwayne had a fair share of handling children before, but this was ridiculous. It seemed like a cute little suggestion, spending the night at your house. He wouldn't exactly get much sleep. Still, he didn't mind cuddling with you in your bed, get the opportunity to maybe look around your room and get some better insight about who you were before he met you. Besides, any opportunity to sleep in a real bed again that wasnt caked in cobwebs was a golden opportunity in his eyes. 

You certainly were a trooper, you insisted on staying up as late as you possibly could. After ordering from a pizza shop he opted just to devour the barbecue wings while you nibbled down on classic pepperoni. You insisted there was no garlic, but he wasn't going to risk anything spoiling tonight. When his hunger couldn't be satiated you offered him the uncooked beef shoulder your mom was saving for dinner next week. It was disgusting, wringing it out like a sweaty sock, watching your juice pitcher fill up with red juices. When you struggled to squeeze out  anything else, Dwayne straight up dug his teeth into the partially dried hunk of meat until it started to turn grey. The entire process was gruesome. You couldn't help make a face, although you were still glad he had some sort of blood. 

"What's animal blood like anyway? I mean, usually you drink human right? Is animal like… vampiric vegetarianism?"

Dwayne pondered the inquiry, wiping the red from around his mouth. "I guess the best way I can describe it, it's like junk food in a way," he explained, polishing off the last bit and smearing his mouth on his jacket sleeve. "It fills you up okay, but not as well as human blood. Eventually it won't be able curb the hunger for very much longer."

"Hm. So it's like having potato chips for dinner," you asked, going to rinse out the jug before he had the chance to lick up the remainder. 

"Pretty much."

After dinner, you settled on the couch watching the IT miniseries on tv, sharing a bowl of popcorn. Half way through the three hour series you had dozed off, head lightly nuzzled beneath his arm into his chest. Gently he swept you up into his arms, carrying you down the hallway into your room. Just as he laid you down he heard a bunch of clanking around in the kitchen. Looking back at you he pushed your hair out of your face, stealing a gentle kiss. "Don't worry princess, I'll handle this one," he whispered against your lips. Guess he was going to get that human blood after all. With fangs bared he swept through the hallways with ease, slinking into the dark kitchen ready to strike, and then the lights flipped on. Standing beside the fridge was a young child, couldn't be more than 4 or five sitting on the floor with a handful of pinwheel cookies. Literally caught with his hand in the cookie jar, the bits eyes turned to saucers. "KITTY CAT!" 

Dwayne flinched when the crumbly toddler hugged his waist. Alright so you had a brother. That was new. Carefully he lifted up the toddler, balancing on his hip like he had done with Laddie. "Well hi. I wasn't expecting a cookie thief tonight."

"Are you Y/N's kitty? You're really big!"

"No, I'm a big ol' panther. I usually eat all the bad kids who stay up past their bedtime," he teased with a fanged grin. "Know any?"

The boy rapidly shook his head. "Nope! Uh uh! I was uh, sleepy walkin'!" 

"Oh well, then I guess we should get you back to bed then, huh?"

Laddie used to pull the same thing all the time. They always put him to bed around 4:40 am, sometimes he could push it to almost 5, but then Dwayne would catch him sneaking around the tunnels at 6 am. Except with Laddie he would just hang upside down with him or go back to Star. He couldn't exactly do that with a four year old human. Instead he shuffled his boots through scattered toys, kicking them out of the way as he tucked the little boy in bed. Out like a light. Boy he was good. Softly he tip toes back into your room and laid beside you until the sun started coming up. He snuck into your parents room with their dark, heavy curtains drawn and wedged himself into their walk in closet just to be safe. Thank god your dad hates sunlight too. The entire day time he could hear your little brother shouting "Kitty?! Mr. Kitty?!"

Cue your groans as you lazily followed him, shooing the boy away from where Dwayne was currently sleeping.

"B/N, you were probably just sleeping after you ate all the freakin' cookies and dreamt there was some big dumb cat."

"No no no, honest Y/N, I saw him, I did I did! We jus' gotta keep lookin'!"

Dwayne chuckled, he'd have to apologize to you once the sun came up.

Paul

Yes! A sleep over at Y/N's place! Finally! He never got to go over there because your parents were such fuddy duddy same-old! Now with them gone for a weekend trip to San Diego, he had you all to himself! Oh he was so giddy when he jumped through your doorway. Wow. Fancy! Two stories, a big ol' tv in the living room with one giant wrap-around couch?! Is that the new Sega system?! There's a freaking pool in the backyard! He's just geeking out!

"Dude, babe, why didn't you tell me your parents are loaded," he exclaimed, jumping over the edge of the couch onto the cushions. 

"I mean the stuff is nice I guess," you shrugged, sitting next to him. "Honestly I just love being with you guys in the hotel. I hadn't really thought about it."

Paul raised his brow. "So, you're gonna give all this up?"

"Well, eventually whenever I decide I want you to turn me." 

Cuuute. Paul just snickered, nibbling on your neck. After that, you were up almost all night. Getting high in your bedroom, concocting bizarre stoner munchies down in the kitchen, video game competitions on the giant television, making out when you were supposed to be watching a scary movie… making out when you guys are skinny dipping in the pool… whole lot of heavy petting. Finally you had tuckered out in his arms, burrowed beside him with his jacket draped over you. Oh god you were so adorable. It was only 3:45 in the morning, so he had a few hours before the sun came up. 

"Okay sleepyhead," Paul huffed, lifting you up in his arms ", bedtime!"

You groaned some half mumbled whine about not being tired which only made him chuckle. "Shhh, chill out kitten. Time to crash. I'll still be here tomorrow night, mkay?"

It was hard for him to put you down. Not that he didn't want to- you wouldn't let go! You kept clinging to his shirt and whining until he had flopped on the bed with you. "Can't get enough of me, huh baby? Eh, I can't blame ya." 

You mumbled something along the lines of "shut up" then went back to sleep. Still adorable. Well he got cozy, gently rolling you off of him once he was sure you were asleep. That's when a loud crash came from the kitchen. A break in? 

Paul sat up- and was immediately yanked back down! "Fuck meee," he groaned, looking over at you. Really?! You were holding his HAIR?? "Ugh, babe you suck."

In a frenzy he managed to untangle the chunk of his blonde hair caught in your vice grip. Carefully he peeked around the corner of the hallway. It couldn't be your parents, he would have been able to hear their car perfectly. No this was down in the kitchen. 

Raccoon, burglar, hobo squatters, whatever he was, it was a little past midnught but he could still go for a snack. 

There was a light on in the kitchen just barely illuminating the living room adjacent to it, Paul could see some sort of shadow shifting around, clinking sounds of glass were, the fridge opening. He tore around the corner, fangs ready to dig into his newest treat. Apparently, someone else was craving a snack. 

There was a breakfast bar hanging off the counter top by the sink in the center of your kitchen, and happily wedged in a tall bar stool was a mop top kid sporting batman pajamas with a big ol' glass of milk and the jar of cookies with the lid off. 

"Whoa!"

"Oh! Shit- uh, hey kiddo," Paul stuttered.

"Shit," the kid questioned, making Paul choke. Crap! 

"Oh crap-! I mean fuc-! I mean-," he smacked his forehead in frustration just so he'd shut the hell up, plunking his butt in the stool trying to process what to say. 

The boy was still staring at him, then with a firm hand, pointed right at him. "You're a really tall cat!"

"Yeah? I like to this so." Paul chuckled, snatching a cookie from the jar, not even waiting to finish chewing before he asked him "What's your name kiddo?"

"B/N," he answered. "You're not gonna tell me sister right? I saw you wrestling with here earlier. Are you like a lion or something?"

Again, Paul nearly choked on his cookie, knocking back the milk. Fuuuuck that kid saw you guys on the couch. "Uh, yeah! You're sister is trying to be a lion tamer, so I'm helping her!" Leaning his cheek on his hand he gave him a sneaky smile. "And I won't tell on you if you don't tell on me and your sister. Your mommy and daddy wouldn't be real happy if she let a big ol' lion in."

B/N nodded firmly as if he was given the most intense secret mission of his short life. Paul just spent a few minutes with the oddball talking about video games, the best cartoons on nowadays, showing him how to stick up some devil horns and head bang. Kid was a natural! Tongue out and everything! With snack time over he shooed the boy back to bed, tucking him in awkwardly.

"Good night Mr. Lion. You're awesome," he yawned, snuggling into bed. Paul felt a twinge of guilt, knowing one day he'd have to take this kid's big sister away… maybe they'd wait just a little longer. Wedged happily inside Y/N's closet atop a pile of her unmentionables with plenty of clothes and some duct tape courtesy of said lovely babe, he couldn't help but hear the boy burst in with excitement, jumping on her bed. 

"Ugh, B/N it's like 9 am, what is it," you groaned from your bed, trying to roll back over under a pile of comforters. 

"You wouldn't believe it! I hung out with a lion last night! He was huuuuge!"

"Yeah? I met he smelled like kitty litter and weed," you half mumbled. 

Oi!

"Nuh uh! Don't you remember? He was the one you were wrestling with in the jacuzzi!"

You sat up straight, your face bright red. "You little twerp, you supposed to have been in bed by then!"

Paul had to stifle a laugh, rolling over. He'd explain it later. After all, lions weren't morning cats.

Marko

When you mentioned your parents flying to Florida to take care of your granny, he couldn't resist the urge to spend the night with you. At first you seemed opposed to the idea. You weren't supposed to have guests over! If your parents caught you home with a boy of all people, they'd kill you then dance on your grave. 

"Pretty please baby doll," he'd hugged, nuzzling his nose into your neck. He wiggled his arms around your neck, teasing beneath your ear with sweet kisses until you practically melted. "I'll be good. Honest, baby girl. No one else is gonna see me, it's not like you'll get caught."

"Well…," you'd hesitate. Well, of course all it took was those bonnie blue eyes, Marko pouting out his bottom lip. "Okay fine, but only if you don't cause any trouble."

"When do I ever?"

You were sure to stock up on snacks for the night. Chips, soda, three types of gummies. You two were the dynamic duo of sweet tooths, if it weren't for his hyper healing he was sure his fangs would've rot out by now. 

 But you were determined. Tonight had to be a perfect sleepover for you and your boyfriend. Later in the afternoon you managed to sneak into the blood drive going on at the beach and steal a cooler of AB negative. After all, it was a special night.

 In regards to the sun, you had made up the guest room with heavy curtains tightly taped to the wall to prevent any light. You even made sure the closet was cleared if that wasn't enough. 

You were so excited once he arrived, practically jumping into his arms. Marko gushed over how cute your room was. Posters, plushies, a plethora of reading material along a wall-height bookshelf, although once he spotted your bed there wasn't much talking left over. When you two were all done having a good ol' time doing the Devil's tango, you insisted on him having a home cooked meal for once. 

"Don't you ever get tired of greasy, soggy chow mein," you ask, sauteing a pan of teriyaki soaked beef. 

"It is not soggy," Marko insisted, feigning offense. 

"You didn't say it wasn't greasy though."

After you two fattened up on a sundae making contest, you crashed on the couch with him, laying comfortably on top wiggled tightly in his arms. Even Marko grew drowsy slurping on the end of a blood pack. You were just so sweet and soft, he couldn't resist the allure of the perfect cuddle partner. Eyes were drooping, almost dozing off.

The sound of clinking glass in the kitchen jolted him awake. You two were supposed to be alone, or so he thought. 

It was nearly impossible to wiggle out from underneath you. When he began to move you verbally whined, holding onto him. "Shhh she it's okay baby girl. I'll be right back," he cooed, lifting you up then laying you back down on the couch. Draping his leather jacket over you, his heart nearly kickstarted again when you snuggled up against it with a weary smile. "Oh you're gonna bring me back to life just to kill me, babe."

Again that loud thump in the kitchen drew his attention. Someone must've either been real stupid or had some twisted death wish to break into your house. With teeth bared he stepped in, swinging the door open. 

Oh! At first he thought maybe it was a raccoon, but following the trail of candy wrappers led him right to the culprit. A guilty six year old covered in chocolate. 

"Well, hey there," Marko chimed, crouching down to look at him. "Where'd you come from?"

"My room," the smart mouth retorted, trying to hide the candy behind him. "Are you some sort of cheetah?"

Marko burst out laughing, the light glinting off his set of fangs. "Heck yeah I am. And who are you?"

"I'm B/N," he mumbled. "Is that why you and my sister were having a roaring contest earlier?"

It was hard not to laugh at that, biting on his bottom lip. "Yeah, but you gotta keep it a secret, okay? It's official Cheetah business, I'm sure you understand."

B/N was a tricky one, Marko could definitely see the family resemblance once he asked

"What do I get if I'm quiet?"

Tricky little bugger wasn't he? That smirk was so familiar it was almost weird. Kudos to this kid for playing the hustle. Bad judge of character though. Marko leaned close and grinned, baring his fangs again. "Well, for one I won't eat you."

The boy gasped, but instead of crying he just laughed. "Okay, deal. Throw in a candy bar?"

"Hm.." Marko tilted his head still squatting in a frog position with his hands resting on his knees. "Well I can't argue with that. You got a deal, kiddo."

Escorting the boy back to his room, Marko crossed his arms as he leaned against the doorway. "You're pretty smart, kiddo."

"Yeah, Y/N always say never get played for a sucker," he sighed between yawns. Typical. He was nearly hustled by a 6 year old. Waltzing back to you he lifted you up still wrapped in his jacket and laid you in your room. If you had been alone he probably would've kept you in the guest room with him. But somebody had to watch the little punk. So wearily he slunk into the quiet room, locking the door for extra measure so no nosey kids came bursting in. He hadn't heard much while he was sleeping that day, but when he came our again you were frazzled after putting your brother to bed around 7pm. Apparently he insisted there was a talking cheetah in the house with a bad attitude who wanted to eat him. "Nah," Marko insisted, shrugging his shoulders with a smirk. "I hear punk kids are too tough and chewy for cheetahs to eat."

[fantastic-bby]

Books & Poems I love

Hello, I am just dumping my favourite books and poems here because I like them and I want people to read them too bcs they're cool. Disclaimer: I haven't read some of these books in a REALLY long time, so the explanations might be a bit off since this is mostly what I remember from when I had read them. All will be under the cut and I hope someone out there finds these as enjoyable as I do!

Books

1. Huntress by Malinda Lo

Nature is out of balance in the human world. The sun hasn’t shone in years, and crops are failing. Worse yet, strange and hostile creatures have begun to appear. The people’s survival hangs in the balance.

To solve the crisis, the oracle stones are cast, and Kaede and Taisin, two seventeen-year-old girls, are picked to go on a dangerous and unheard-of journey to Tanlili, the city of the Fairy Queen. Taisin is a sage, thrumming with magic, and Kaede is of the earth, without a speck of the otherworldly. And yet the two girls’ destinies are drawn together during the mission. As members of their party succumb to unearthly attacks and fairy tricks, the two come to rely on each other and even begin to fall in love. But the Kingdom needs only one huntress to save it, and what it takes could tear Kaede and Taisin apart forever.

I cannot express how much I adore this book. It's so well-written and the entire book feels like such an adventure to read. I have to warn everyone who will read this that it is quite violent. I also love the WLW inclusion which is carried throughout the story. It's also mentioned in the beginning that Kaede does not want to marry a prince because she could never marry a man. It's filled with lots of romance and it's fantasy because I'm a sucker for fantasy reads.

My sister had bought this book for me after I had lost my first copy and my cat peed on my second copy. The first time, I had bought it from a Big Bad Wolf sale in about 2014. The second, I ordered it through Kinokuniya, but I'm pretty sure you can get it off of Amazon as well.

2. Teardrop by Lauren Kate

Never, ever cry . . .

Seventeen-year-old Eureka won't let anyone close enough to feel her pain. After her mother was killed in a freak accident, the things she used to love hold no meaning. She wants to escape, but one thing holds her back: Ander, the boy who is everywhere she goes, whose turquoise eyes are like the ocean.

And then Eureka uncovers an ancient tale of romance and heartbreak, about a girl who cried an entire continent into the sea. Suddenly her mother's death and Ander's appearance seem connected, and her life takes on dark undercurrents that don't make sense.

Can everything you love be washed away?

This is also a book that I've read multiple times. I've even read the sequel, Waterfall, but I don't think I actually got around to finishing it since I bought it right before my exams. Another love and fantasy novel, it covers a lot of grieving and pain that Eureka goes through after losing her mother and at one point, she actually wishes it was her that had died during the accident.

Her relationship with Ander is quite sudden since he just shows up out of nowhere and just happens to know practically everything about her. I, personally, enjoy this book out of the amount of angst that it's filled with. It's very well-written and I still have the first copy that I bought at the same Big Bad Wolf sale that I had gotten Huntress. I think I had gotten the sequal at Kinokuniya as well (?), but I'm not entirely sure because it's been a really long time.

3. Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal, but The Reestablishment has plans for her. Plans to use her as a weapon. But Juliette has plans of her own. After a lifetime without freedom, she's finally discovering a strength to fight back for the very first time--and to find a future with the one boy she thought she's lost forever.

Another very angsty book. It centres around Juliette, a girl who, for some reason, kills everyone she touches. It's also written in First POV and in the format of a journal. It feels more personal because some of the lines are striked through to show a thought that Juliette had in the moment of writing that she decided to replace with a different approach instead.

The beginning is basically Juliette being locked away in some sort of a prison because of her 'gift' and she writes to keep herself from going crazy, but then one day some guy is put into the same cell as her. It's another romance novel and also a kind of superhero novel It also gets pretty... ahem... seggsy... at one point, but it's a good read.

I've read the entire series aside from Restore Me. I have it, but I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. Shatter Me is also from the same Big Bad Wolf sale as the other two lol. Juliette is also trapped in a love triangle at one point, but I won't get into it. It also gets a bit violent, but slightly less graphic than Huntress is and is also another 'self-discover' kinda book. (can you see a theme here that I read lol)

4. Winter's End by Jean-Claude Mourlevat

Four teenagers escape from their prison-like boarding schools to take up the fight against the tyrannical government that murdered their parents fifteen years earlier. But only three of the friends make it safely to Jahn's restaurant, the headquarters of a secret resistance movement, where they discover the astonishing power that one voice can have in the fight for freedom.

As the battle rages, the three friends are in a race against time to save their companion, who has been forced to participate in a deadly, ancient game for the amusement of his captors. Will this new generation prevail, or are they destined to meet the same grisly fate as their parents?

This is also extremely angsty. It's also pretty violent as well, so that's a warning for whoever will read this. Once again, well-written, nice flow to the story and I just really like this book. There's a lot of uncovering in the book that makes you go HUH because the four students end up uncovering a lot about their government and the secrets that involve the four of them.

It has a very heavy dark tone to it, which I really enjoy. It's a bit different from the other three which is less fantasy and more of a dystopian book. It's a very heroic, determination feeling that follows the students as they journey throughout the book. Also something that follows the students are a group of dog-men... things... that I'm pretty sure I actually had small nightmares imagining when I had read this in around 2013 or 2014.

Poems

Disclaimer: Half of these were poems I did essays on in high school aside from L. These are my illustrations of it and they're the ones that stood out to me when I had first read them.

1. Daffodils by William Wordsworth

I read this in high school when I was taking English Literature. It's a poem that Wordsworth wrote after his wife had passed away. I love the way it's written and William Wordsworth is one of my favourite poets. It's filled with the feeling of being lost and rediscovering the joys of the small things in life. There's a lot of imagery that refers to the flower, daffodil, and overall, it's just a a very soft themed poem.

I think the reason this poem stood out to me was because I was feeling a bit lost at the time I read it (the end of highschool) and I was desperately trying to find something I could relate to in some way.

2. Winter by Andrew Young

Another one that contains a lot of imagery. It's a poem about the beauty of Winter and how, while it's seen as a dark and gloomy season, it has hidden beauties that you can see if you're able to look past the initial image of it.

This poem in particular, I'm pretty sure I have a soft spot for in my heart mainly because of the soft spot I have for Winter in general.

3. London by William Blake

This is a more dark toned poem. It covers what old London used to be like with the raging poverty at the time. A lot of child labour and sex workers that would struggle with making money when they would accidentally get pregnant.

It's quite a depressing poem that I like because of the dark undertone and I, personally, really enjoy William Blake's works.

4. L by Bernice Chauly

L is a poem about how her daughter had cut her hair right after going to the hairdressers. While Chauly's daughter is crying when she yells at her, Chauly is reminded of when she had done something similar when she had just turned five years old. She thinks back to it and remembers that, at the time, all she wanted was to see her late father.

This is also more heavy set and it makes me think of the way children must feel when they lose their parents at such young ages.

[sibyl-of-space]

Final Fantasy IX ~ Melodies and Memories

"Jesters of the Moon"

There are a lot of very good video games in the world, but it takes some luck and circumstance outside of a game's control for one to reach me at just the right time(s) and place(s) in my life that it has a tangible impact on who I am -- who I want to be. One that carves out a space for itself in my soul that will never be removed or replaced.

I've just finished playing Final Fantasy IX for the first time, and there's no doubt in my mind that such is the case here.

(Continued below readmore.)

I drew this art last year, when I was mourning my attachment to an old favorite game that I just don't feel the same way about anymore: Majora's Mask. I wanted to draw something that captured my feelings about it, because sometimes art is the best way to talk about something when the words don't want to come.

Why is "Jesters of the Moon," the name of a random song in the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack, plastered in the middle of this Majora's Mask fanart? Especially considering I hadn't even played Final Fantasy IX yet when I drew this?

The reason is exactly that "luck and circumstance" that allowed me to fall so uniquely in love with the game.

"Mt. Gulug"

In 2008, someone on YouTube uploaded a Majora's Mask parody-slash-let's-play series called "Majora's Mask: The Things Which Were Taken Out." The series has since become unlisted and won't be linked here out of respect for the creator who probably doesn't want things they said and made in 2008 being spread all over the internet, but because of Unregistered Hypercam 2 reasons, the series inserted other background music over the video and didn't record the actual game audio.

I didn't recognize any of the music, but I watched these parody videos on repeat because in addition to being funny (...at the time, in my mind, at least), I really really loved the music. It got to the point where I would sometimes be playing Majora's Mask and get disappointed when I approached Goht and the Mt. Gulug theme wasn't playing in the background.

I had forgotten about these videos for a really long time in the interim, but I remembered them at some point when I was thinking about Majora's Mask and I found them again. The creator had cited the Final Fantasy IX soundtrack for virtually all of the background music used in the videos, and I realized that despite knowing literally nothing about the game, I had become really fond of - and weirdly nostalgic for - the songs from it that I now recognized.

So I looked up "Jesters of the Moon" and played it on repeat while I drew out my feelings in colored marker. A few months later, I realized that my backwards compatible PS3 can also play PS1 games, and eBay had FFIX for PS1 at a good price. I had nothing to lose by ordering it and seeing what the source of all that fantastic music was like.

"Vamo Alla Flamenco"

I started my playthrough knowing nothing about what to expect from the game. I'd never played a Final Fantasy game before and my overall JRPG experience has been mostly limited to Tales of, Persona, and more recently, mainline Shin Megami Tensei. The only things I knew about Final Fantasy were a) the Tidus laughing scene, and b) Sephiroth. IX seemed like it had vibes I would enjoy, but beyond that I knew nothing about what the experience would be. So I approached it with a "let's have fun and see how it goes" attitude, naming my party members the first silly thing that came to mind, ending up with "Swaggy," "OwO," "Bitchin," "Gunz," and "SWOOORD" to start with.

(For the record I do not regret those names whatsoever.)

I was immediately struck by how differently the game uses music in comparison to all of my previous JRPG experiences. This was not a game where the composer was given a list of theme songs that were slapped on top of a mostly completed game-- this was a game constructed with the soundtrack in mind as a part of the writing process.

The opening act plays almost like an opera (side note, yes I know one of the other FF's has a literal opera, I haven't played that one): you traverse the same locations from different perspectives as different characters, introducing the cast with lighthearted humor and dramatic irony out the wazoo. While you traverse the city as OwO, OwO's theme is playing in the background, coloring your perspective of the city and the narrative. When you switch to Gunz patrolling around the castle, Gunz's theme accompanies your movement and informs his character and mission. I am so accustomed to "location themes" being the norm in virtually all video games that experiencing character and/or narrative themes as BGM instead while I bumble around town changed my entire perspective on what music in games can do and be.

The operatic feeling is definitely intentional, because the game uses a play-within-a-game narrative device to hit you over the head with its themes in a way that is somehow poignant and artful while also being extremely blatant. That is a hard balance to strike, but it manages. The whole game is like that: it is completely straightforward and tells you exactly what it's about at heart, but it does it beautifully.

At any rate, I was enamored with this intro and had a very fun time, but I wasn't obsessed or anything and ended up putting it down. I spent several months on the first half of disk 1 with weeks passing between play sessions. I liked the game plenty, but life stuff happened and I decided to get obsessed with Dai Gyakuten Saiban and Ghost Trick for a while. No regrettis.

It was already clear, though, that FFIX was going to be special to me. My compositions for my team's game in the Global Game Jam in 2021 were directly inspired by FFIX's opera-like intro. I wrote two character themes for our game that would serve as background music when you play as the two protagonists, coloring your journey differently even when moving in the same spaces. I was intentionally trying to mimic the way music is used in FFIX as an exercise. The themes I wrote are definitely some of my strongest work so far.

(You can check out the game here if you want, I promise it is significantly shorter than Final Fantasy IX.)

"Melodies of Life"

Music caused me to pick up FFIX the first time, and music caused me to return to it. After months of not touching or really thinking about it, just earlier this week I was inspired to play it again, because - again - I listened to the right song at the right time.

I was again mourning the loss of something, in this case a friendship, for reasons I'm not going to share here. I had already heard the song "Melodies of Life" because it came up when I was looking up FFIX songs to reblog on Tumblr a few months ago, and I decided to listen to it again. Even without knowing the game context, the song itself really spoke to me in that moment: "a voice from the past, joining yours and mine, adding up the layers of harmony" - it kind of made me feel at peace with the fact that I had a lot of positive memories of that friendship and I could keep those at heart while also moving on in the present. ...I'm also a sucker for music metaphors, so there is that.

I was really moved by this song, cheesy as it is, and I was also definitely in the mood for a distraction. Picking up FFIX again felt like the best move.

It was, and my life is forever changed.

The game never stopped being beautiful and funny and touching, and the soundtrack never ceased to amaze. I recognized concepts I've seen in other games but never had I seen them used so artfully. I adored the fantasy world and non-human cast, I found myself enticed by random encounter for the first time because it made me feel like I had to struggle to survive a difficult journey. Music, gameplay, visuals, and story felt like one cohesive work of art for the entire duration.

Life circumstances got me to play the game again, but the game itself was so captivating and wonderful that I binged the entire rest of it - disks 2-4 - in less than a week. Everything else that the game had to say, it told me itself, in its own context, and I was ready to listen.

"You're Not Alone!"

This is going to make me sound like an emotionally-stunted twenty-something, but it has been years since a work of media has got me to have a really good cry. I used to cry playing games all the time as a kid but recently I'll find myself getting emotional, sure, often tearing up, but getting completely red-faced and snot-nosed because I physically cannot contain the emotions being evoked by a work? Years. I can't honestly tell you the last time it happened with certainty.

I feel like an emotional band-aid has been ripped off. I was f*cking sobbing during the entire duration of the "You're Not Alone!" sequence. It didn't matter that what was happening was obviously coming from a mile away, because the delivery was so raw and emotional and human!!! A whole game's worth of Swaggy punching first and asking questions later to save his friends, being Protag McProtag endangering himself for others in any and all circumstances, for the payoff of all of his friends forcing him to stop being such a primadonna and let them help him for once. It's true, too! He relies on them just as much as they rely on him! And the game doesn't just tell you this, no, it lets you try to solo all these fights and waits until you realize how boned you are until they come bail you out.

When Bitchin showed up with her "looks like you need a hand" I wanted to straight up yell at my tv. YES I DO!!! YES I DO NEED YOU BITCHIN!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!! I half knew that SWOOORD was going to heal me before I got truly KO-ed but I had been unmercifully wiped in "unwinnable" battles before in this game, so I legit thought I might have to re-do that whole part of the game again, and I was so relieved and thankful when she showed up and healed me.

This moment exemplifies everything that I adore about this game. It doesn't just tell you its story. It shows it to you, it sings it to you, and it and lets you play it out and feel it for yourself.

"Game Over"

This song is all too familiar to me. Gizamaluke's Grotto was very unforgiving for a first-time Final Fantasy player, especially one who didn't happen to pick up Big on the way for a fourth party member early on.

I hadn't heard the piano part in a few months, though, because when I picked the game back up I started just mashing to reload before it got to that point any time we wiped. I didn't hear it again until the game was truly over, this time for good.

I let it play for a while. Not too long, because I have a CRT TV and didn't want "The End" to get burned in. But a while. Enough to meditate on what I'd just experienced, and how I was feeling about it.

There's so much more to say about the game, far more than I could put in a blog post. But I don't think I need to describe these thoughts in words. I can do what the game did, and use music, use art, use stories, use metaphors, and use symbols to communicate what I mean; and hope that someone else is able and willing to listen.

And although a written record of my thoughts likely won't be preserved for all that long, maybe the feelings and the memories will be, so long as they have been shared.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Down By The Lake - Part 3

Summary: It was only meant to be a stolen moment between you and your lover Daehyun and ended with him framed for murdering your best friend. With the assistance of your aloof friend Inspector Bang, could you find the real culprit called The Pauper, in time to clear Daehyun’s name?

Pairing: Jung Daehyun x reader ft. Bang Yongguk

Genre: murder mystery / periodic au / horror-ish

Warnings: murder / death / dark content given the nature of the storyline

Down By The Lake will be shared daily at 10am NZST.

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

It was harder to find evidence than you expected. Yongguk had taken you to the scene three times already, making you retrace the same steps over and over until you cried out in frustration. “Yongguk! Must we do this again?!”

“It is important, Y/N,” he urged and you groaned for the umpteenth time, dragging your feet back to the first spot you met Daehyun in that night. Yongguk joined your side and held his hands out loosely towards you. “Did he grab you like this?”

Reaching for your waist, Yongguk lifted his head up politely at the close proximity. You giggled, and he glanced down at you apprehensively.

“Had we not grown up together, perhaps I would see more of a man in you. Women say you’re handsome, if not for the aloof approach you maintain.”

“Focus, Y/N.”

“But you are rather sensitive and shy, are you not?” you continued, squeaking when he tightened his grip around you.

“My Lady, please focus,” he reiterated pointedly. “This tight?”

“He grabbed my arm,” you stated, shifting away from Yongguk so he could take it and then pushed into him as if you had been moving quickly and relied on his balance to hold you upright. Yongguk nodded once whilst you attempted to reign in your enjoyment at his evident displeasure of being this close to you. “And then we had our first conversation. He ridiculed my dress, which was warranted. So I asked for help out of it.”

“You are far too improper for a lady of your status, Y/N,” Yongguk groaned and you gave the inspector a look. Yongguk glanced down at you and then stepped away. “And then?”

“He helped me remove the dress so we could go swim. I was overheated from the ball.” Yongguk strained a smile and gestured down the path. You followed him to the point where you stepped out to the lakefront, merely a metre from the water’s edge. “I got to here before Daehyun pulled me back into the bushes.”

Replaying the steps, except this time, you pushed Yongguk into the space Daehyun had held you within. You grinned. “Struggling, Inspector?”

“No, your instruction is incredibly insightful,” he murmured, growing quiet as he looked around you both. Your humour eased as you watched him work, glancing around yourself as if you could see what he did.

“There is no way to see a thing from here,” he admitted softly and you nodded. “And with it being dark out, it would lower visibility further.”

“I could not see a thing, but I did hear it all,” you replied sadly, closing your eyes as a tear fell down your face. “I was right here as my best friend was killed.”

“And you went to go out?” he reminded, helping you along so you did not focus on the parts that could not be changed now. Nodding, you re-enacted the tussle, Yongguk holding you back. The tears continued to fall and your friend began to brood over the situation. “There is a chance the killer heard you both moving. He normally strikes five times with the hay hook. On Lucy-”

“Please,” you begged tearfully and Yongguk omitted the rest of his findings.

“He finished his kill short and decided to flee.”

“Daehyun pulled us in closer to the bushes and all I heard were footsteps in that direction,” you continued and Yongguk stepped around you, heading off as you sobbed into the bushes, crouching down when you could no longer stand.

You missed Lucy terribly and the guilt ate at you the further you helped Yongguk with the play-by-play. It was a misfortune you had not wished upon anyone, and had you the ability to return to the night for real, you would have done more.

Perhaps it would be you found afloat within the lake. After all, this was your house and the killer being on the property when so many guards were on post would have only meant he was looking for someone in particular.

You jumped when you felt a hand reach for your shoulder. “The track has been used recently.”

“The investigation that was led by Moore had more than seven men tramp up and down it. I do not feel any clues would remain.”

“Still, is it not a path you and I know better than others?” Yongguk offered and with a smile, you took his hand he held out for you.

“We have not played up there since we were young.”

“Not much has changed, I am certain of it,” Yongguk assured as he helped you over the fence style, swinging your linked hands loosely as you had always done as children. You continued to feel lighter as you travelled across the track that led to the old hunting den. Conversation was slow; much as it always was between you. Yongguk had always been the quiet type and you the brazen, your laughter bouncing off the hillside as it once had in the past.

Just as you were mentioning your Great Aunt’s upcoming birthday, Yongguk came to a stop, his gaze stopping on the tree line nearby. “What is it that you see?”

“Remember how we would climb that tree there?”

“Was it that one?” you asked, smiling fondly at the memory. However, Yongguk did not share the same sentiment. “Why? Is there something wrong with it?”

“I remember, we would watch our parents in the garden from here.”

Your blood ran cold, marching over to the tree in question, gesturing for Yongguk to boost you up into it. On a sturdy branch-way, you looked out towards your home. It was closer than you expected from walking thus far and you gasped. You could see into the garden well from here.

“It was a full moon that night, was it not?”

You nodded. “I remember seeing it brightly in the sky when Daehyun was undoing my dress. How long did we walk for?”

“Ten minutes I believe.”

You glanced down at Yongguk, your eyes searching his for consolation as you became distressed. “It... it would have been that long as the fastens on my dress stumped Daehyun for some time.”

“And had the killer ran,” Yongguk offered, raising an index finger. “He would have been in the right place to capture you both.”

“Lucy was not his target? We did not see or hear her approach at all.”

“Hop down,” Yongguk offered, leaping up into the tree once you were grounded. You hugged yourself, searching for comfort as your body continued to chill.

Yongguk then cursed. “Had she taken the main path towards the lake, she could have very well been the target. In fact, I believe she may have been on the move before you and Daehyun even met.”

“You mean he lured her there?”

Yongguk nodded grimly. “There was a note found upon her body. She was meant to be meeting Lord Wilsford.”

“Why I was with him just before I went to see Daehyun,” you breathed in confusion and blinked slowly.

It all began to click. Snapping your focus up to Yongguk’s face, you fell into his embrace once he was down beside you again. “Could he be the killer?!”

“Well, there is only one way to find out.”

Smoothing down your dress as you waited in the doorway of your home, you curtsied in greeting to those entering for your Aunt’s birthday party two days following your grave discovery. You attempted to keep yourself present in the moment, and since you had acted a great deal over the years in attending such trifle celebrations, it came easier than you expected.

On the outside, you looked demurely relaxed whilst on the inside, you were a jittery mess. Especially since Yongguk had yet to arrive at the party.

However, the guest you were waiting most for entered a moment later. He smiled warmly. “My Lady! Beautiful as ever.”

“You flatter me too easily, Lord Wilsford,” you answered, hoping he did not feel the way in which your skin began to crawl upon his contact with it. Smiling brightly, you then curtsied. “May you have a splendid evening.”

“One in which we can spend time together, I do hope,” he suggested and you nodded in answer. “I look forward to it.”

“As do I.”

Turning as he moved through into the ballroom, you exhaled a breath you hadn’t been aware you were holding shakily. Your Father at your side turned to look at you. “Are you feeling well?”

“Yes, I am fine.”

“If you do not wish to-”

“It is expected that all eligible women appear to all and every gathering where she may be matched with a husband, is it not?”

“Yes, darling. However, if you are not yet ready, you mustn’t push yourself.”

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek. “On the contrary, tonight this is where I must be.”

“Then it’s settled. Tonight we shall find you a husband,” he announced as Yongguk came through the door, bowing silently in greeting. You merely responded with a curtsy, sharing a long look before he moved on into the party itself.

You relaxed some knowing he was finally here, and soon entered after him, keeping an eye out for Lord Wilsford’s activity. He spent some time charming the elders and then the mothers before finding you, taking your hand and kissing it fondly.

“I fear I left you alone for far too long tonight.”

“I was feeling rather deprived of good company,” you answered much to his delight.

“I knew I would win your heart after all,” he drawled as he took you out onto the dance floor, slipping easily into the well-known steps to this song. You mindlessly followed, trying to think of a way to entice him further.

The matter was, you had never once wanted this man’s attention and now that you sought it, you were drawing quite the blank.

Thankfully, he was none the wiser. “Y/N.”

“Yes, my Lord?”

“Do you feel it rather crowded in here?” Lord Wilsford asked and looking up at him suddenly, he chuckled at your widened expression. “My, I took you by surprise!”

“No, I just… wondered how you could read my thoughts so easily.”

“Should we head outside?”

“Oh, I do not know if that is safe. Did you not hear of what happened out there last time?”

“Do not worry, I will be with you.”

Smiling graciously at his reassurance, you stepped in closer to the man. “We will have to go separately as not to draw attention.”

“I have much to say to you tonight. Meet me by the lakefront shortly,” he instructed and acting coy, you nodded and bit at your bottom lip. Lord Wilsford chuckled and reached to kiss the top of your hand, this time more ardently than before.

You swallowed visibly. “I look forward to hearing it all.”

“My Lady,” he breathed, looking up into your eyes. “This night will be one you will never forget.”

“Is that so? Well then, I anticipate being enlightened by your memorable gift. I will wait long enough for my Father not to notice my departure.”

Lord Wilsford left and after a moment, Yongguk came up to your side, leading you over to the refreshments. “Well?”

“He told me to meet him at the lakefront and that it would be a night to remember.”

“Are you feeling up to it?”

Glancing up at the man, you nodded hesitantly. “It is the only plan we have to save Daehyun, right?”

“It could be-”

“You will be right there, as we discussed?” you intervened and Yongguk smiled.

“I will catch the killer and protect you.”

“Then what are we waiting for? I have no doubt, a rather deadly proposal waiting for me.”

You only hoped that hearing it would still end up with you alive afterwards.

_________________

Part 4

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[missstormcaller]

CAN’T FEAR YOUR OWN WORLD Vol. II Part 16 Full Translation

This is 4/4 of part 13 on the app (chapter 14 continued)

Rukongai

"What's the big idea with this thing!? We're not about to get dragged into this ridiculous dispute are we!?"

At the words of Candice who has gotten caught up in the aftershocks of Ikomikidomoe's struggle - the Zanpakutō which had taken the appearance of a gargantuan Hollow - Meninas replies in her usual manner.

"We were more or less dragged into it from the very beginning, I think…."

"But still, weren't we told in the beginning to simply knock the lights out of that so-called Fullbringer lot and then snatch them away!? So why in the hell are we now getting dragged into this conflict between a freak who looks like its had all kinds of overgrown Hollow condensed into it, and a bunch of Arrancar!? Come to think of it, didn't the number of Arrancar just double without us noticing!?"

Whilst using her lightning to crush the rocks that were being flung into the air, Candice pointed at the two female Arrancar who had newly emerged.

"Speaking of which, what's the deal with their style!? There's way too much emphasis on their figures don't ya think!?"

"Candice, you can't really speak for others though can you?"

Meninas spoke whilst observing the Holy Knights uniform belonging to the Quincy who had her chest on open display, but pretending that she didn't hear that, Candice initiates a counter-attack.

"Anyway, if this monstrosity isn't stopped first and foremost, then we won't be able to continue with our task."

Although they also had the option of making a brief retreat, it did not appear likely that Kurotsuchi Mayuri would tolerate such a thing.

That being the case, they should probably battle the gargantuan threat by taking advantage of this confusion, and at the same time, watch for an opportunity when the Fullbringers are off their guard. Even if it was impossible to capture the Fullbringers this time around, it was still a chance to analyse how their opponents fight among other things.

Thinking as much, Candice proceeds with the battle whilst paying mind to whether or not Ginjō's group would make an escape.

"Meni! Create an opening!"

"Alright."

Upon nodding in understanding, Meninas made an approach towards the feet of the great Hollow with slow movements, she slipped herself into a position that was located in her opponent's blind spot.

Then, the muscles in her arms that were still in their normal state are instantly made to swell, using her might she lifts upwards.

Just with that alone, the huge physique of 'Ikomikidomoe' is violently thrown off balance, and in a chain reaction, Ikomikidomoe is scooped up from the ground and sent tumbling down with great force.

"Ha! Nice work! Leave the rest to me!"

In a manner that appeared to aim for the spot where the opponent's balance had been weakened, Candice fired a volley of arrows entwined in lightning.

Moreover, as if to indicate that it was the finishing blow, she cast down the same "Electrocution" that was unleashed upon Ginjō and the others a short while ago.

The barrage of assaults, that were hammered out with lightning speed momentum in a very literal sense, blanket the surroundings with a dazzling light.

"That was close…! What the heck are those two doing! Do they not care that I'm also standing here!?"

Having evaded the lightning strike by a hairbreadth, Hirako exclaimed aloud as a cold sweat trickled down his cheek.

"Aren't those the Quincies that became Mayuri's subordinates!? …Yes, that's right. I should've known that Mayuri wouldn't worry about the welfare of myself or other fellow Shinigami."

Coming to accept this realisation by himself, Hirako maintains even more of a distance, he then shifted his gaze in the direction of 'Ikomikidomoe' who had been engulfed in the flash of the lightning strike, however——

"No good. There wasn't much of an effect."

'Ikomikidomoe' who had taken the form of a monster only moments ago, now adopted a spherical shape after folding its limbs, sitting neatly within the Rukongai as an ominous item of art.

In the next instant, a white haze gushed forth from the space around this colossal ball, and no sooner than that did an infinite number of small creatures sporting wings materialise out of said haze. 

Though described as 'small', this is only in comparison with the mammoth build of Ikomikidomoe; the creatures who would appear to be Adjuchas level Hollows from outward appearance, begin to take flight into the air as a swarm.

Then, as if it were a protective response, they lunged directly at the aggressors —— at the pair known as Meninas and Candice.  

Looking down at the Zanpakutō which continues to generate these small-scale 'terminals' spawned in the dozens, and hundreds, Hirako pulled a frown as he corrected his own perception of the matter.

"…I guess I was mistaken in calling it a huge robot huh."

Whilst maintaining the utmost vigilance towards Hikone who commands that Zanpakutō, and towards the man known as Tsunayashiro Tokinada who bestowed such a Zanpakutō upon the child, he continues speaking.

"This is like an entire 'country' sprouting legs and moving. It's not something we can deal with using orthodox methods."

As Hirako calmly dissects the state of affairs, Candice's group is forced into a disadvantageous position before they could even get a grasp on the situation.

"How can there be a Zanpakutō like this!? Or maybe I should be asking if this thing is really even a Zanpakutō at all!?

"That might be a little problematic huh…."

Using Heilig Pfeil the two continue to shoot through the swarm of beasts that were advancing towards them, however, much to the pair's regret, the enemy's numbers were far too many.

Meninas hit back with superhuman strength, and Candice with the power of her lightning strikes, yet in this current situation the creatures continue to be spawned with momentum that transcends their own, and moreover, there had hardly been any damage incurred on the main unit itself.

With a Galvano Javelin in each hand —— spears created by Reishi imbued lightning bolts —— Candice strikes the creatures down, however their numerical advantage far exceeds the quantity which could be dealt with effectively using only two blades.

"Crap…! If only I could use the power of my Vollständig…."

Originally Candice was able to manage six blades by utilising the wings produced by her Quincy Vollständig, but because of Yhwach's 'Auswählen' she ended up no longer being able to invoke Vollständig, as a result she has now become limited to handling two blades.

What's more troubling is that it was by no means the case that these creatures were charging at them in a wild and tactless fashion, rather they come in for the attack whilst calculatedly catching the girls off guard through controlled movements, almost as though they were a single organism despite being a swarm.

Although they are annihilated in one fell swoop by the lightning strikes firing in rapid succession from the sky, it was but a drop in the ocean.

"tch… did that just stir up a hornet's nest…?"

Though her exhaustion is quite significant after the barrage of assaults from a short moment ago, on the basis of acknowledging that, Candice attempts to unleash her 'Electrocution' once more, and in that very moment ——

"Just drop it. Your Blut Arterie will end up being burnt out before anything."

A voice which struck a familiar chord, rattles her eardrums.

"Whaa…?"

What exactly does it mean that this voice could be heard in such a place?

Before Candice's mind could process that thought, the 'answer' took form and came sweeping in to wolf down the swarm of beasts.

A long and narrow jaw that had made a sudden appearance, swallowed up several hundreds of these grotesque figures in a single breath.

As the abnormal jaw that had preyed upon the white beasts retracted back into a mouth, the owner of the voice gave utterance to her impressions of what she had consumed just now, coupled with a languid sigh.

"It's the same with those skeletal bastards from the other day… just as I thought, mass-produced goods are flavourless."

Floating in midair, is a young girl whose distinctive cold eyes peeked through from under her white Sternritter military cap.

After observing her form, Candice opens her eyes wide and gives a yell. 

"Li…Lil!?"

Common sense would dictate that It was an impossible sight.

Having been separated over half a year ago, her companions looked for ways to somehow make contact with her from their position, however she had appeared before them ahead of anything that could actually occur.

In response to a stunned Candice, the girl with the cold eyes —— Liltotto Lamperd —— uttered a complaint in an exasperated tone.

"Jeez, the plan was to try and collect you by taking advantage of all the commotion, but it turns out your sorry asses are right in the middle of that commotion so just what the hell am I supposed to do now? What a drag."

"I-It's you! How are you here? Perhaps, you've come to help us!?"

"Didn't I just say that I've come to collect you? Listen when people talk bitch." 

"I mean, you're really alive…. After I heard that you had turned against His Majesty, I… I thought for sure you'd-…"

Having even held onto the suspicion that, in the worst case scenario, Kurotsuchi Mayuri had lied about Liltoto and the others being alive, Candice raises her eyes to Liltoto with an expression that was a mix of relief and astonishment.

"Don't call that bastard 'Majesty'. Either way, it seems he's long gone."

As Lil said so, another voice could be heard coming from behind Candice.

"Wow, you're looking more rough than I expected. Too lame huh, Candice chan?"

With a twitch, a vein throbbed at her temple, before she could even rejoice at their reunion, Candice threw a backhand blow.

"Gigiii!"

Whilst effortlessly evading her fist, the black haired Quincy —— Giselle Gewelle —— raised her voice in protest as she smiled with only the corner of her mouth.

"Eh, don't drag out the end of your words, you make people's names sound like 'old man' you know." (TN: -- When Candice drags out Gigi's name above it sounds exactly like "じじい" which means "old man")

"It's wrong that you made Gigi mad just now."

Without exuding even a trace of an air that could be described as anything akin to a touching reunion, Meninas spoke in her usual manner.

"Wait a minute! Don't you think you're also accepting this way too casually Meni!? It's not like I'm the only one who can't read the situation is it?"

"If you want to complain, why don't we catch a damn bite to eat later while it goes through one ear and out the other. Anyway, right now it looks like we have to find a way to deal with that trouble over there first."

The swarm of beasts continue to gush forth from the white haze as unchanged as before, but perhaps analysing the abilities of Lil's group who were the newcomers on the scene, the swarm's current stance was watching the group carefully whilst encircling them at a distance.

Then, Gigi tilted her head in response to Liltoto's words.

"Huh? Deal with them you say… shouldn't we just make a run for it?"

"…That was the plan. Even if we did run away as is, I suppose it would be pointless if there are also bombs implanted in Candi and Meni's bodies."

"…gah!"

Although Candice had taken this possibility into account, she was once again struck with terror by having it pointed out through Lil who is the brains among this group of friends. 

Rather than address Candice herself —— Liltoto proposes a deal towards the person at the other end of the communicator that was fitted to her clothes.

"You can hear me can't you, Kurotsuchi Mayuri. I'll cooperate with your so-called experiment. So in return, I demand the release of Candice and Meninas."

It was at that point, that a very distinctive voice echoed across from Candice's regulation cap.

"Dear me, that you actually made the error of believing that you are in any position to negotiate with me, how very conceited of you."

"Whoa!?"

Disregarding Candice who was taken aback by the voice that had suddenly slipped out from atop her head, travelling across the communicator, the voice speaks with a dispassionate tone.

"I didn't implant the likes of bombs in the first place. Thanks to the Central 46 and the captain commander who can't adapt to the times, I was very recently prohibited from implanting bombs into the bodies of subordinates. So long as you bear the name 'unit', the lot of you too, can only be treated as soldiers rather than tools. Good grief, what an oh-so benevolent gesture."

"Since we're on the topic of bombs, could that not mean that you've tossed in plenty of other crazy stuff?"

"Do you really think so?… Never mind, Quincies are now curio. I have no intention of breaking them so easily."

"Hold on!? What's the deal with that vague wording!?"

Paying no heed to the cries of Candice, Lil calmly continues negotiations with Mayuri.

Without dropping her guard against the surroundings even while they negotiate, the small units of beasts that were charging towards them at random intervals as a diversionary tactic, is 'swallowed whole' each time as she expertly moved the conversation forward.

"What I want is merely the freedom of Candice and Meninas, and the guarantee of their safety. They can be exchanged with a handful of fighting potentials among us Quincy, that doesn't sound half bad right?"

"Once you've attained that level of pretentiousness, it goes beyond comical and one can only feel pity. You may be curios, but as far as I'm concerned, the likes of Quincies are an area of research that has been fully exhausted. Did you actually think that the lot of you had that much worth?"

"If Quincies don't have that much worth, then what does it matter to at the very least part with only two, Candi and Meni? I suppose that would just about cover the cost of doing your chores. Also, this concerns you. You've already implanted something within me and Gigi too either way, haven't you?"

"Huh?"

Gigi raises her voice at this unexpected information, but Mayuri's voice makes a blunt assertion with a nonchalant air.

"Oh, even if they're fools, I can't say I completely detest those who are quick on the uptake. That Quincy named Ishida didn't even have the slightest clue until I told him."

"Why thank you. I pray that you're also the type who's quick on the uptake."

In response to Lil who was holding her ground against Mayuri, the voice streaming through Candice's cap resumes speaking with stifled laughter.

"If I refuse you here, do you perhaps intend to take your negotiations directly to the captain commander? My, my, if Hirako Shinji wasn't present, I could've had you silenced in secret."

"Maybe I decided to go to the trouble of showing my face precisely because another captain rank is present?"

"Quite the clever-clogs aren't you? Good grief."

"The danger that you are has touched our very core after all. That he didn't include you among the Special War Potentials, I can only imagine that Yhwach was off his rocker."

Following Lil's words, the sound of a heavy sigh could be heard coming from the communicator fitted to Candice's cap.

"I make no concessions based on blatant flattery. Well, it's true that your ringleader's eyes were as good as blind however. It appears that even if he could forecast the future, he wasn't able to see the reality."

Then, in a somewhat upbeat tone, Mayuri offered a concrete proposal.

"I want to dig up as much data as possible on that colossal mutant of a Zanpakutō, as well as the mock-up Shinigami trial subject standing on top of it. If the lot of you can do that, then I will upgrade your treatment from test subjects to at least the level of mercenary. And if you also happen to capture the Fullbringers while you're at it, perhaps I can even help you grow taller as a special reward."

"Unnecessary. Even If my physique and whatnot got bigger, it would probably only make me get hungry faster. So to sum it up, it's going to be us knocking the wind out of that huge freak right?"

"I don't expect you to go that far. After all, if a subject could be brought down that easily by you lot, then I wouldn't be interested in it to begin with."

"Tch… you underestimate us."

Perhaps regarding it as a completion of the deal, Lil voiced her complaint, following this she poses a question towards the colossal sphere that towers heavenward.

"I wonder if you think the same? Freak."

In response to a confrontational Lil, Gigi who was listening from ground level speaks up.

"Hey Lil, I can't stand it. Helping that black and white clown and all."

It was at this point that Mayuri's voice shot out from Candice's cap in seeming astonishment.

"Even your brain tissue has finally rotted away has it? Zombie girl. The one I was negotiating with is that girl with the big appetite. I never put the likes of you down as a fighting power from the very onset, so you can just go ahead and rot wherever you like."

"…Does someone who stole another person's zombies have any room to talk though?"

"Save it for later. I don't think this is the kind of opponent you can defeat by mouthing off."

Calming Gigi who mumbled in a voice filled with deeply held resentment, Lil raises her eyes to 'Ikomikidomoe'.

"Whatever you do, first things first, we have to silence that behemoth."

"…If you say so."

Despite the smile playing on her lips, Gigi's eyes revealed that she had actually agreed reluctantly, after heaving a sigh she issues instructions to a shadowy figure standing at her back. 

"Go for it, Bambi-chan."

"Uunhh… I, do my best. Because Candi, and Meni, everybody… here…."

Then —— the battlefield which had been engulfed in white lightning only a short while ago, is this time made to be blanketed in the tint of red explosive flames.

"It's that girl with the bombs!? They just had to bring along that bothersome individual huh!"

Watching the zombie girl who came flying out from Gigi's shadow, Hirako involuntarily raises his voice.

As recollections of the moment he was almost blasted to death in the past are vividly resuscitated in his mind, a cold sweat trickled down his forehead.

Reishi bullets, which are fired one after another by the girl with dark red skin, make contact with the creatures spawned from 'Ikomikidomoe' and cause her opponent's body tissue to convert into bombs. 

The hot wind from the chain of explosions which subsequently gush forth, vaporised the sweat on Hirako who was standing at a distance. 

"…Gah! As reckless as ever I see. What can I say, I guess this means, sooner or later, I'll also have to consider my next course of action…"

Hirako releases a sigh and places a hand on his Zanpakutō, he whispered to himself whilst contemplating whether he should join a side in battle here, or whether he should allow the dust to settle by contacting Mayuri who was stationed further away.

"That Momo should've reported to Kyōraku san, so there may be some action over there too."

"Oh man, this is turning out to be quite a disaster huh."

Not withdrawing, but not actively participating in the battle either, Ginjō's group avoid the ripple effect of the assault whilst observing the situation.

"If we're going to retreat, I think now is our chance right?"

With a shrug of his shoulders, Ginjō addressed Tsukishima's remark.

"That was the plan… but didn't that brat say 'I'll get you to acknowledge me as king' or something?"

"…I see, are you worried about that?"

When Giriko mentions this, Tsukishima also opens his mouth to speak as if to say he understood.

"Ah, it's about 'XCUTION' isn't it?"

The 'XCUTION' he spoke of is not the group of Fullbringers who were once assembled by Ginjō in the Human World, he is referring to the 'XCUTION' they had heard about a few days ago, a new religious organisation which is making its presence felt in the Human World.

Whilst recalling the information he had gathered in the last few days from the 'newcomers in Rukongai', Ginjō begins to reveal his own speculations.

"…Going by those guys fresh from death, apparently this religious cult organisation known as 'XCUTION' already has devotees in the hundreds of thousands… somehow or the other, I can only imagine that some Fullbringer or Shinigami has something to do with this."

According to the account he heard directly from someone who was a believer in their lifetime as luck would have it, details around such things as the Rukongai and the Shinigami Konsō being noted among them in the creed of 'XCUTION', was almost entirely consistent with the state of the afterworld.

It can be said with certainty that this creed which mentions everything from the existence of Shinigami, Rukongai and Seireitei to the existence of Hollows, Hell and Hueco Mundo, is something that could only be written by an individual who knows about the 'afterworld'.

Nevertheless, in its midst, there was one sole part which deviates significantly from reality.

To be precise, it is a part that depicts the future and it is not yet known whether or not it will come to be.

—— {A new king will be born from the shadows of a turmoil spanning a millennium, and reign over the three worlds respectively.}

At first, Ginjō was of the opinion that the religious cult were associates of the Quincies, and that the 'new king' was perhaps referring to Yhwach.

However, he has heard that Yhwach's purpose was not to rule over the three worlds, but to eliminate the boundaries of the three worlds itself and return everything to the original plane of existence.

He believes that this very passage of the mysterious prophecy is the key to grasping the identity of the other party, it was his intention to even bring up the matter with Hisagi, the self-styled 'journalist' who made his acquaintance just the other day, and draw out the opinion on the Shinigami side.

Yet before he could put this plan into action, a direct hint appeared before his eyes.

"Well… in that case, whose influence should we be focusing on?"

Ginjō was not looking at the monster of a Zanpakutō called 'Ikomikidomoe', rather he cast his line of sight towards the child manipulating it who gave its name as 'Hikone'.

At that point, he noticed something.

Noticed that one of the Quincies who appeared later, slipped through the storm of the bombing raid and drew closer to the child Shinigami. 

"Hey, kid. You said your name is Ubuginu Hikone right?"

What entered Liltoto's eyes, is the form of Ubuginu Hikone standing atop an 'Ikomikidomoe' who remained unscathed. 

Only a few moments ago, they should have been subjected to the lighting strike unleashed by Candice several times over, but putting the creature that is 'Ikomikidomoe' to one side, she is taken aback by the fact that even this Shinigami who is its master was unharmed, at the same time she intentionally opens up a dialogue in order to probe for information on the opponent.

"Oh! You're the Quincy lady who showed up at Hueco Mundo that last time! Long time no see! It's amazing that you'd actually eat up the kin of 'Ikomikidomoe'! It was a pleasure meeting you!"

"I didn't want to encounter you at all if possible. Didn't you say you were going to become king?"

"That's right! Ah, well, to be precise, rather than saying that I am the one who will attain this feat, it is Tokinada sama who is being kind enough to make me king!"

"On top of being some hand-me-down for orders, you'll be just a figurehead king? Isn't there something you want to do through your own damn will?"

Although her manner of speaking was akin to provocation, Hikone doesn't even seem to realise that it is what's known as sarcasm and thus replied with an innocent tone.

"There is! What I want to do are things that are useful to Tokinada sama!"

 "…So if this Tokinada guy you speak of told you to 'die a painful death', would you go ahead and die?"

"Yes! I would do my very best to suffer as much as possible!"

"…Oh, I see."

—— Damn. Talking with this brat is going to drive me crazy.

—— The way it fanaticises about things reminds me of that asshole Lille.

—— Nah, I wonder if this is slightly different from that guy, rather than fanaticism… how shall I put it?

—— I get the impression that the damn kid was set up to be that way from the very beginning.

Lil believed that this did not seem like someone she could get through to, but even so, she continues to question the child all the more.

Aside from the goal of extracting information, she genuinely harboured a suspicion.

"There's something I want to ask you."

It was regarding a certain Reiatsu intermingling within Hikone, which Candice and the others also perceived.

"…Have you ever heard the name… Gremmy Thoumeaux?"

Gremmy Thoumeaux.

The name of a boy who is reputed to be the strongest Sternritter, in fact, it was said that in all likelihood, no one could hope to defeat him outside of Yhwach.

That he is described as a boy, is purely because the body he had imagined for himself was that of a young boy, in actuality, both sex and age were unknown. 

His true form is only a brain floating within a small container; a Quincy who 'imagined' (created) his very own body by using the power of the Schrift V —— "The Visionary" given to him by Yhwach.

Making one's imagination transform into reality as it stands, is evidently a phenomenon close to the power of a god, in the life or death struggle against Zaraki Kenpachi, he conjured everything from a huge meteorite within Seireitei to the vacuum of outer space. 

In the end, he imagined power that could overcome Zaraki Kenpachi and made it his own, but because he couldn't completely imagine a body that was able to withstand that power, it resulted in his self-destruction, he awakened from his dreams, and his brain ceased all function.

Lil caught sight of the moment Gremmy disintegrated with her own eyes, she was also able to confirm that his Reiatsu had come to a complete stop.

She had no idea what happened to the brain container thereafter, nor did she have any particular intention to go searching for its whereabouts.

However, it was a separate matter entirely if one could sense Gremmy's Reiatsu coming from the Shinigami before her.

Perhaps by some chance this Shinigami figure is a mere mimicry, and in truth, something formed after the living Gremmy had 'imagined' it, Lil had surmised as much before posing her question.

"Gremmy… Gremmy san you say…? Aha!"

Suddenly, after a brief moment of consideration, Hikone's face lit up.

"Yes, I know that name! Tokinada sama kindly informed me!"

"……!"

Not expecting the child to return a straight answer, Lil widened her eyes a fraction and waits for Hikone to continue.

However, what is then narrated from Hikone's mouth, was an answer that Lil doesn't really want to hear.

"Gremmy san was apparently… a member among the materials, used at the time of my creation! That's right!"

[davewakeman]

Talking Tickets: 17 April 2020--Refunds! Restarts! Support! And, More!

Hey! 

Thanks for being here again this week. If you are enjoying this newsletter, tell your friends and colleagues to sign up by visiting this link.

How is everyone holding up out there?

If you need someone to chat with, let me know. I’m here for you if you need a proper chat as my friend, Cat, would say.

I made a typing error about the strategy webinar. It is going on this coming Tuesday.

Have a few minutes and want to grab a drink? We may not be able to have a drink in person just yet, but we can have a virtual happy hour. Join me and Ken Troupe for what is becoming a Friday tradition for happy hour with sports business folks at 5 PM EDT.

If you are interested, we’ve got a nice Slack community with folks from around the world and all areas of the industry, exchanging ideas, connecting, and thinking about the future of their businesses.

I’ll share a bunch of links to resources and other places to connect in the newsletter.

Hopefully, I’m able to strike a proper balance for all of you…between, “Wow! This is nuts!” and “We will get through this.”

To the tickets!

————————————————————————————————————

1. When will events return? No one knows but we are learning more:

Dr. Zeke Emmamuel says he doesn’t see large scale events coming back until the fall of 2021.

Shane Harmon, CEO of Sky Stadium in New Zealand shared some interesting information from his government on when restrictions might start to be loosened and things can begin to normalize a little. Patron Base also put together a nice resource guide for their customers that y’all may find useful.

In Europe, the UK is preparing for 3 additional weeks of stay-at-home orders, pushing the opening of events back a bit further.

In the US, we still have no clear strategy for what reopening will look like, what we should expect, and how we will start to regain any sense of normalcy.

We do have a reopening panel and we do have a desire to reopen events, but, again, unfortunately, no clear direction.

I think we all have to try and take a balanced approach to our expectations here. First, we have the economic factor and that’s impacting all of us here immensely. Second, we have to deal with the safety concerns of the population and recognize that liability will drive a lot of the decision making process. Finally, never lose sight of the impact of fear and emotionally driven decision making on mass society. As quickly as people are gung ho to get back to ballparks, if an outbreak happens that was accelerated by a ballgame and that link is made, that could do more long-term damage than anything that has happened to this point.

Because, unfortunately, none of us really know the right answer here.

But I am hopeful after seeing the PGA Tour aim for June and the Australian Football League talking about July. 

2. The economic impact of these shutdowns becomes more and more apparent:

Baseball America wrote up a piece on why fan free games aren’t going to make sense for MiLB and what not playing in 2020 would mean for minor league baseball going forward.

The economic challenges are going to be felt all over. Colleges are likely going to be put in a position to cut sports like the University of Cincinnati did with soccer this week.

As a holistic thing, Research and Markets put together a report this week that tries and cover everything about the entertainment industry and the impact of the virus on folks.

Like a lot of stuff, the analysis and the information coming out from reputable sources needs to be parsed with for context and when you see anyone tell you something is all or nothing…take that with a grain of salt.

Bill Sutton tweeted out a call for teams to get on the virtual season tickets now and over the years I’ve been calling for folks to think more seriously about their membership model, their email lists, and how they are developing their global fan bases.

Harry DeMott from Ticket Evolution wrote up a good piece on restoring liquidity to the ticketing ecosystem as I was finishing this up that is worth a read.

Whatever position you find yourself in right now, your strategy going forward is going to be more important than ever. And, if doing things the way we’ve always done things is a bad idea in the best of times, right now it is a really bad idea to settle for that answer.

3. StubHub, refunds, cancellations, and more continue to make the news: 

The regulators in the UK continue to look into the merger between Viagogo and StubHub. And, as was mentioned in the press this week, “worst timed acquisition ever“?

Vivid Seats did announce their refund and exchange policy this week and it looks a lot different than Ticketmaster’s or StubHub’s.

AEG is offering a 30-day window for fans to get refunds and once a new date is announced, fans will get another 30 days.

While many of us have focused a lot of our attention on the platforms and technology companies, the same uncertainty is trickling into other areas with college football programs feeling the pinch because of the compromised place they find themselves.

Let’s be real here, college programs are only feeling the pinch now because most of them had the earliest deadlines…at a certain point, this is going to be a refrain that all of us are going to hear. Again, it goes back to the point above…we need clarity, information, and guidance on what the next several months look like before folks are really going to feel comfortable doing much of the stuff that we consider normal.

Leadership 101 stuff.

4. How are you connecting with your fans and customers during the pandemic?

Over the last few weeks, I’ve highlighted some really cool examples of using assets, content, and ideas to connect with folks.

The link above is from my friend, Blair Hughes, down in Brisbane. He’s been focusing on fan engagement since 2013 and he updated his resource guides this week to include a few new ideas that will work even when you are socially distanced from your fans.

The Indianapolis Indians were lauded by the governor. The Red Sox dropped coloring sheets. There are tons of free videos and performances from organizations all over the world. 

I’ve struggled with this a little bit because what do you offer folks when there is so much uncertainty. My path has been to continue to figure out how to add value and share ideas with folks. (To be fair, it is selfish as well because focusing on others helps me overcome the gaping void of being an entirely inadequate 4th-grade teacher and helps keep some of those negative thought processes at bay.)

But what are you doing to connect with folks now? Let me know and I can try and highlight some of these ideas as well.

5. The ticketing industry is doing a lot of stuff to help everyone weather this crisis together: 

This week INTIX announced a relief fund, the INTIX Member Covid-19 Relief Fund. 100% of funds will go to member assistance to help members of the ticket community bridge the economic gap while we wait out the pandemic.

Any gift matters, even $1.

As Maureen says that all folks want to do is help and I agree. So if you can, support this effort.

On top of the relief fund, Maureen and her team are hosting a weekly Zoom call on Wednesdays at 12 PM EDT. Anyone can join, no matter if you are a member or not. This week’s had over 200 folks.

The ALSD has a list of resources and ways for folks to learn and connect during the pandemic.

Global Citizen has put together the Live Aid of the Covid-19 crisis for tomorrow, 18 April.

Crew Nation is Live Nation’s effort to help the crews that make the shows happen. The Arts Council in the UK is also working to help freelancers and other folks impacted by the shutdowns. Theatre Support as well.  Indie venues band together to form a group to lobby congress for support of the industry.

While it isn’t about giving any money to support folks, MLS put up a training site so folks can keep their soccer skills fresh during the social distancing. And, if you have a young kid, this is likely enough to make you weep.

This is on top of all the other things I’ve highlighted over the last few weeks. If you or your organization are doing something to help folks, let me know and I will highlight it and share it here and with my community as well.

As I finish this up, I love when folks run and do challenges in their local communities…so I saw this one from Rob Sibbitts in Atlanta and he has completed his challenge…but maybe we can convince him to run another race for a local nonprofit.

My buddy, Greg Turner, who lives outside of Hong Kong just translated a report for anyone that is interested in learning more about the Chinese market for arts and entertainment. It doesn’t fit into the weathering the crisis theme, but it does give you something new to explore and since China is slowly starting to return to normal activities could give you some food for thought about what to think about in all of your home markets.

—————————————————————————————————————-

What am I up to this week?

Guess what? I’m still at home! I am doing the webinar that is listed at the top and I’m starting to drop new content on the podcast feed.

Want to chat? Let me know. Between my duties as an awful elementary school teacher, I’ve got plenty of time and will to chat. And, I’m happy to be here if someone needs someone to talk with. 

Please follow and like us:

Talking Tickets: 17 April 2020–Refunds! Restarts! Support! And, More! was originally published on Wakeman Consulting Group

[vinylexams]

A very special fireside interview with XUXA SANTAMARIA

Check Insta for our thoughts on this landmark album from Oakland duo XUXA SANTAMARIA. Stay right where you are to read a really fun interview I scored with the band this week. They’ve just released Chancletas D’Oro on Ratskin Records out of Oakland and Michael blessed me with my very own copy. It was so good I knew I needed to tell you all about it and I wanted to pick their brains a little bit, too. Without further ado, please enjoy:

//INTERVIEW

You’re still breaking into indie world at large, but you’ve already got a huge following back in California and your home-base in Oakland. What has it been like to be featured in major outlets like The Fader?

SC: We are a funny project; we ebb and flow from being total hermits to having periods of relatively high visibility (relative to aforementioned hermit state). I wouldn’t say we have a huuuge following in CA but I do think that the ‘fandom’ we’ve developed here is really genuine because we don’t play shows out of an obligation to remain visible but instead do so because we feel super passionate about the work and the audience and I think people respond to that energy. I for one, and perhaps this is because of my background in performance, have a hard time performing the same stuff over and over without change which accounts for us being selective with our playing live. That’s also why videos are such an important part of what we’re about. The piece in The Fader was important to the launch of this album because it established some of the themes and, to an extent, the aesthetics of this album in a way that can be experienced outside of a live setting. None of this is to say we don’t like playing live, in fact we love it, we just like to make our sets pleasurable to ourselves and to our audience by constantly reworking it. We strike a weird balance for sure but we’ve made peace with it. If we ever ‘make it’ (lol) it’ll be on these terms.

Chancletas D'Oro is a pretty incredible record and while it reminds me of a few bands here or there, it’s got a really fresh and unique style that merges dance with all sorts of flavors. How would you describe your music to someone who is curious to listen?

MGK: Haha, we generally struggle to describe our music in a short, neat way (not because we make some kind of impossible-to-categorize music, but just because it’s the synthesis of a ton of different influences and it’s hard for US to perceive clearly). But with that caveat in mind - IDK, bilingual art-punk influenced dance/electronic music?

SC: Thank you for saying so, we’re pretty into it :) Like Matt says, we struggle to pin it down which I think is in part to what he says – our particular taste being all over the place, from Drexciya to The Kinks to Hector Lavoe- but I think this slipperiness has a relationship to our concept making and world building. As creative people we make and intake culture like sharks, always moving, never staying in one place too long. Maybe it’s because we’re both so severely ADHD (a boon in this instance tbh) that we don’t sit still in terms of what we consume and I think naturally that results in an output that is similarly traveling. Point is, the instance a set of words - ‘electronic’, ‘dance’, ‘punk’- feel right for the music is the same instance they are not sufficient. I propose something like: the sound of a rainforest on the edge of a city, breathy but bombastic, music made by machines to dance to, pleasurably, while also feeling some of the sensual pathos of late capitalism as seen from the bottom of the hill.

The internet tells me you’ve been making music as Xuxa Santamaria for a decade now. What has the evolution and development of your songwriting been like over those ten years?

MGK: Well, when we first started out as a band we were so new to making electronic music (Sofia’s background was in the art world and mine was in more guitar-based ‘indie rock’ I guess - lots of smoking weed and making 4 track tapes haha), so we legit forgot to put bass parts on like half the songs on our first album LOL. We’ve learned a lot since then! But in seriousness, we’ve definitely gotten better at bouncing ideas back and forth, at putting in a ton of different parts and then pulling stuff back, and the process is really dynamic and entertaining for both of us.

SC: This project started out somewhat unusually: I was in graduate school and beginning what would become a performance practice. I had hit a creative roadblock working with photography - the medium I was in school to develop- and after reading Frank Kogan’s Real Punks Don’t Wear Black felt this urge to make music as a document of experience following Kogan’s excellent essay on how punk and disco served as spatial receptacles for a wealth of experiences not present in the mainstream of the time. I extrapolated from this notion the idea that popular dance genres like Salsa, early Hip Hop, and Latin Freestyle among many others, had served a similar purpose for protagonists of a myriad Caribbean diasporas. These genres in turn served as sonic spaces to record, even if indirectly, the lived experiences of the coming and going from one’s native island to the mainland US wherein new colonial identities are placed upon you. From this I decided to create an alter ego (ChuCha Santamaria, where our band name originally stems from) to narrate a fantastical version of the history of Puerto Rico post 1492 via dance music. We had absolutely no idea what we were doing but I look back on that album (ChuCha Santamaria y Usted - on vinyl from Young Cubs Records) fondly. It’s rough and strange and we’ve come so far from that sound but it’s a key part of our trajectory. Though my songwriting has evolved to move beyond the subjective scope of this first album - I want to be more inclusive of other marginalized spaces- , it was key that we cut our teeth making it. We are proud to be in the grand tradition of making an album with limited resources and no experience :P

We’re a big community of vinyl enthusiasts and record collectors so first and foremost, thanks for making this available on vinyl. What does the vinyl medium mean to you as individuals and/or as a band?

MGK: I think for us, it’s the combination of the following: A. The experience of listening in a more considered way, a side at a time. B. Tons of real estate for graphics and design and details. C. The sound, duh!

SC: In addition to Matt’s list, I would just say that I approach making an album that will exist in record form as though we were honing a talisman. Its objecthood is very important. It contains a lot of possibility and energy meant to zap you the moment you see it/ hold it. I imagine the encounter with it as having a sequence: first, the graphics - given ample space unlike any other musical medium/substrate- begin to tell a story, vaguely at first. Then, the experience of the music being segmented into Side A and Side B dictate a use of time that is impervious to - at the risk of sounding like an oldie - our contemporary habit of hitting ‘shuffle’ or ‘skip’. Sequencing is thus super important to us (this album has very distinct dynamics at play between sides a/b ). We rarely work outside of a concept so while I take no issue with the current mode of music dissemination, that of prioritizing singles, it doesn’t really work for how we write music.

MGK: We definitely both remain in love with the ‘album as art object/cohesive work’ ideal, so I would say definitely - we care a lot about track sequencing, always think in terms of “Side A/Side B” (each one should be a distinct experience), and details like album art/inserts/LP labels etc matter a lot to us.

What records or albums were most important to you growing up? Which ones do you feel influenced your music the most?

SC: I know they’re canceled cus of that one guy but I listened to Ace of Base’s The Sign a lot as a kid and I think that sorta stuff has a way of sticking with you. I always point to the slippery role language plays in them being a Swedish band singing in English being consumed by a not-yet-English speaking Sofía in Puerto Rico in the mid 90s. Other influences from childhood include Garbage, Spice Girls, Brandy + Monica’s The Boy is Mine, Aaliyah, Gloria Trevi, Olga Tañon etc etc. In terms of who influences me now, that’s a moving target but I’d say for this album I thought a lot about the sound and style of Kate Bush, Technotronic, Black Box, Steely Dan, ‘Ray of Light’-era Madonna plus a million things I’m forgetting.

MGK: Idk, probably a mix of 70-80s art rock/punk/postpunk (Stooges, Roxy Music, John Cale, Eno, Kate Bush, Talking Heads, Wire, Buzzcocks, etc etc), disco/post-disco R&B and dance music (Prince, George Clinton, Chic, Kid Creole), 90s pop + R&B + hip hop (Missy & Timbaland, Outkast/Dungeon Family production-wise are obviously awe-inspiring, So So Def comps, Jock Jams comps, Garbage & Hole & Massive Attack & so on), and unloved pop trash of all eras and styles.

Do you have any “white whale” records that you’ve yet to find?

MGK: Ha - the truth is that we’re both much more of a “what weird shit that we’ve never heard of can we find in the bargain bin” type of record buyer than “I have a custom list of $50 plus records on my discogs account that I lust over”.

SC: Not really, I’m wary of collectorship. That sort of ownership might have an appeal in the hunt, once you have it do you really use it, enjoy it? Funnily, I have a massive collection of salsa records that has entries a lot of music nerds would cry over (though they’re far from good condition, the spines were destroyed by my Abuela’s cat, Misita lol, but some are first pressings in small runs). For me its value however, comes from its link to family, as documents from another time and as an amazing capsule of some of the best music out of the Caribbean. I’m glad I am their guardian (a lot of this stuff is hard to find elsewhere, even digitally) but I live with those records, they’re not hidden away in archival sleeves, in fact, I use some of that music in my other work. Other than that, the records I covet are either those of friends or copies of albums that hold significance but which are likely readily available, Kate Bush’s The Dreaming or Love’s Forever Changes, or The Byrds Sweetheart of The Rodeo as random examples

Finally, is there a piece of interesting band trivia you’ve never shared in another interview?

SC: haha, not really? Maybe that we just had a baby together?

//

Congrats on your new baby, and also for this wonderful new album. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you and your music!

[theglassishalfsomething]

Darcy Interviews Bing: Romance

 1. Do you believe in love at first sight? If so, convince me!

I do believe in it! Proof: a family friend of mine met his wife at a Catholic youth group meeting and told the friend he went with to the gathering as they were leaving that he couldn’t live without her. He just knew. They’ve been married for 30+ years now. 

Look- we’ve talked about this. I don’t believe in relationship at first sight- that’s crazy. And I don’t think that the love is fully formed or mature but I think it’s real, I think it’s love, and I think it can happen at first sight (meeting). 

I’m not saying it’s the only way people fall in love. It’s not the way a lot of people do and that’s totally fine. I also think it’s something that irresponsible people can use as an excuse for irresponsible behavior and it doesn’t justify anything in terms of recklessness or even foolishness. You still have to get to know someone before you commit to dating them, you shouldn’t be reckless. But what’s in your heart, though fragile, undeveloped, “no proof, not much” IS love. That’s what it IS. It’s not something else! 

And in a sense all love is love at first sight. As Christopher Marlowe says, “Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?” Sometimes it just takes us longer to see it- the first sight happens down the road but it still happens in a moment. I totally get why people love the Darcy/Lizzy love story more than a more conventional love at first sight. I too am probably more moved by “I cannot fix on the hour or the spot or the look or the words that laid the foundation; it is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I’d begun” than “I just knew” but then idk !!! they’re both beautiful!!

I tend to get in fights with people about this and I haven’t yet succeeded in convincing anyone of this and also it doesn’t really matter because I think it’s probably wiser that people don’t go around believing it and being convinced that the cute person you made eye contact with on public transportation is THE ONE and you “just know”. But I just. In my heart of hearts I believe it’s real. 

Matt Damon met his wife at a bar okay!!!! Saw her across the room !!!! and KNEW. I didn’t make that up- that happened to him.

2. If you could spend an hour talking about love with one person, living or dead, who would it be?

Well, in truth I’d talk about it with my family and friends but as I already DO that I’m going to go with Taylor Swift and/or (hopefully and) Jane Austen. I think it would be pretty funny if they were both prosaic about it though. Being an artist and being an explainer/rhetorician aren’t the same thing and I love the idea of both of them being not very eloquent about something they’re so GOOD at talking about in other ways. Like the way you once described Megan Whalen Turner and Adam Driver as discussing their work in the same matter-of-fact, understated, unflowery way. (I think about that a lot.)

This question got away from me. I’d still want to talk to Taylor about it though haha. 

3. Do you think that “opposites attract” is a more consistently true principle of successful romance, or can two similar people work together?

WHAT A GOOD QUESTION AND ONE ON WHICH I HAVE MUSED MUCH SINCE YOU FIRST POSED IT TO ME

I think in the end it comes back to the idea of balance. (#reylo, #willieverstopbeingthemostannoyingaboutthisNO) Romances, friendships, any kind of relationship works great and beautifully when there are complementary differences that create a natural check and balance between two people. We’ve all got to steady each other out you know. But romance especially calls for those differences in temperament and even outlook where faults as much as virtues help keep the other in check/help push the other to grow. Damon is so sarcastic, Elena is so sincere. She grounds him and cuts through his defenses; he draws her out of her seriousness and out of her head and makes her have a little more fun. Ben is contemplative and thoughtful and questioning, Rey reckless, impulsive, and action-driven. He steadies Rey’s unthinking action, she helps shake him out of his inaction. They’re better together. I could go on.

“Opposites attract” has definitely been overblown because I think having the same fundamental priorities and beliefs and values is most important in a marriage- the most important thing let’s be real- and even in terms of interests and outlook similarities are good. But the edge of difference in personality and approach is good- it’s what creates the spark! It’s what makes it work. Thank God (truly) that we aren’t all the same.

4. What is the greatest lie about romance that is widely accepted?

That romantic love can be separated from morality, from charity, and thrive. It can’t. As Lewis says in The Four Loves, “The rebellious slogan 'All for love' is really love's death warrant (date of execution, for the moment, left blank).”

On a (somewhat loosely) connected note, that’s why I side-eye those romances that start out and then continue against the wishes and support of family, friends, a wider community. I don’t want to overstate it! Parents, friends, community can be close-minded, unfair, hateful, wrong etc. FOR SURE. But marriages that start out against everyone else in their circle with no intention or desire for reconciliation, with just the two people involved feeling that “this is us against the world, we can defeat all odds!” are not a good idea. A couple’s reasons for cutting ties and starting out in isolation may be necessary but should never be undertaken lightly or as a matter of course because we all need support. We need each other. 

“We’re In Love And Anyone Who Says We Cannot Do Whatever We Want Because Of That Hates True Love” feels like a default attitude in today’s culture, especially for teenagers, whenever any objections are raised. Objections should be raised. Sit DOWN and be willing to work your way through them and prove that you’ve thought about them and are ready for the risks and the work involved to make this the best thing it can possibly be. Stop being stupid!!! Your love is not the answer to everything!!!!! Your love cannot be your sole guide!!!! 

But I mean, true love that wants the true good can. But that’s different from passion, emotion and it’s not what everyone is operating from you know? We’re messy and human.

5. What do you dream of for your own romantic future, if you do?

Judging by these answers, it seems that I think it’s far too big a risk!!

But I mean, dreaming. Hmm. wow this is making me feel very shy. (Can I lower my font size so it’s like I’m whispering.) I want.............I don’t know. Alright, apart from someone who agreed with me on what was most fundamentally important- faith especially obviously- I’d want to love and be loved very deeply. I want all the things we talk about- friendship, trust, someone who helps me grow, someone who challenges me, someone who loves me a lot whom I loved as much in return. It’s- yeah. This isn’t a good answer but it’s such a hard question. 

6. Is I love you the most romantic thing that can be said, or are there other words you would choose?

you know I think “I love you” IS the most romantic thing !!! !!! Before you asked this I would have thought that I didn’t think that and I do love other verbal ways of expressing love but there is something about the words themselves that get to me. Whenever I hear it onscreen I kind of tear up a little bit. It’s why I always tend to ship canon couples at least a little bit because it’s like “BUT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER”. You know how I feel about Tyler and Caroline which is not much but there’s that one scene where he writes her a letter and it’s like “I will always love you” and i’m like “SHOOT ME I CAN’T TAKE IT.” 

They’re such beautiful words, so straightforward. So ageless. They don’t change! Human beings have been saying them to each other for centuries.

7. How, in this crazy fandom world, do we identify relationships that are ACTUALLY toxic, versus those that are growing/developing/in need of work?

ahem ahem aHEM A relationship isn’t toxic because screenwriters decide to have the characters say it is without backing that up or with writing bad decisions. I’m not bitter I say bitterly with a bitter expression. 

Relationships that are built on nothing but bad things- selfishness, control, abuse, lies- are toxic. Relationships that are separated from the pursuit of the good are toxic. 

That said, and it’s a big “that said”, we’re all broken, we’re all damaged, we’re all wounded and sinful and I believe that things can get better, that people can heal so a lot of rhetoric around this topic strikes me as wrong. Tumblr especially tends to label conflict, challenge, and imperfections as toxicity and it’s just- no. Those are all parts of a healthy relationship in this fallen world. 

Another way of putting it is that I think, in fiction especially, relationships that don’t DEAL with anything, that don’t involve the struggle of communication are not good. Lies and surface-level resolutions aren’t good.

I’m not qualified enough to talk more about it. (I mean it hasn’t stopped me so far but it’s stopping me here.)

8. Is love a choice?

Yes, but you can’t always control how you feel initially. You can always control what you do though, and it’s the doing that’s the most of love. To paraphrase Lewis, the feeling is just the spark that ignited it. 

(*sings* “I can’t decide if it’s a choice, getting swept away”)

9. How do you like your romance, in fiction: full of light and sunshine, warm and constant, or tragically resolute?

All of the above. If I had to choose one I’d say “warm and constant” but all of it absolutely kills me. Screams into the void. 

10. Tell me what kind of man I should marry.

Someone principled, steady, witty, kind. Also someone who’s a good cook and also who likes dogs so that you know they’re real and have at least one fault in your eyes.

[indigo-rainn]

Keep Me Close

Chapter 4 – Illusion

LINK: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12764887/1/Keep-Me-Close  SUMMARY: When something goes wrong during Sasuke’s two-year solo quest for redemption, Konoha launches a rescue mission to get him back. However, when things start to go south, the team struggles to make a decision: do they save their friend, or risk everything to prevent his skills from falling into the wrong hands? // SasuSaku, Team 7 A/N: I just put up chapter 8 on FFN and it was a very self indulgent fluffy SS chapter and idk how it reads to normal humans but I thoroughly enjoyed it. xD I love getting to a point where your plot/characters are built enough to play with it. Anyway. Go check it out! Let me know whatcha think. <33

The silhouette of the next town on the map began to nudge the horizon as they approached, the sky above rumbling with an advancing storm. The forest from the south had given way to open meadows and tall reeds that shimmered in the gray light, wavering with each passing breeze. The sea cliffs relaxed into dunes that rolled into the sea in steady waves, and the team altered their course inland to avoid the lashing of wind building up with the weather.

"D-did you guys feel that?" shouted Hinata suddenly, her voice straining over the wind.

A massive chakra signature flared up out of nowhere, just ahead and within the circle of homes they were fast approaching. Sakura sensed her heart flutter cold with the deadliness of the aura, the air snatched from her lungs before she could take a breath. When she reached out with her mind, she could feel the chakra itself towering above the town, black as night and flecked with an indigo-purple that burned against the charcoal of the sky.

Hinata activated her Byakugan and a gasp escaped her lips. The beady, golden eyes of Susanoo flashed down at her from within the chakra, the furious roar of the wraith deafening in her ears, and her ears alone.

"He's here!" she called. The team assumed an attack formation, with Juugo and Suigetsu fanning out behind the two women. The Mist nin hefted the giant blade strapped to his back, and the leathery skin around his teammate's golden eyes began to ripple into transformation.

At once, the town sprung into view. Villagers streamed past them, running through the fields and away in all directions. Screams and shouts, and the sounds of children sobbing, frothed up from the village. The path they sprinted along took a sharp turn toward the chaos, and at once the main square opened up before them.

Sasuke-kun.

Sakura could just make him out within the throng of buildings and flames, standing with his back to them, his clan's crest glowing venomously in the bleak. His shoulders appeared hunched slightly, his stance wider than one he might normally take. Sakura felt the pit of her stomach twist as he came into clearer view and she noticed his blade suspended above the head of a small shinobi. She could just barely hear the screech of the chidori, snapping down the length of his katana, tense before the strike.

She screamed his name, the roar of the adrenaline in her ears louder even than her voice. She yelled again, and her voice cracked.

Two-hundred yards. One-ninety-yards. Her speed maxed out, her teammates dragging behind her now. Still so far away. The Uchiha twisted around, his crimson glare suddenly locking on to hers.

Thump.

A wave of chakra slammed into her, and she stumbled forward, crying out in surprise. When she looked up, everything dissolved into darkness.

Sakura blinked, and found herself in the middle of a dimly-lit hallway, a single torch flickering her surroundings to life. The eerie quietness that swirled around her served as an odd calm against the backdrop of the disarray she had so recently left.

Where the hell am I? she thought to herself. She flickered her hues down and found the floor made of dark stone, the arching walls on either side carved with a pattern that resembled scales. A droplet of moisture hitting a puddle somewhere ahead echoed toward her and rung in her ears. She tucked a loose strand of her rosette bangs behind her ears and blew out a held breath.

"Sasuke?" she called out, taking a tentative step forward. This place felt strange – much different than any previous genjutsu she'd found herself in. Although the darkness and quietness of it rendered trembles down her neck, the pulse of warm from the torches and the general presence that hung in the air felt oddly safe. She couldn't explain it, but knew with an unsourced certainty that nothing within this place radiated violence or hostility toward her.

When she heard no answer, Sakura began to move forward along the passageway, each placement of her boots on the stone echoing out around her. The path didn't waver in its straightness, but seemed to descend slightly with aother torch, and another beyond that, lighting the way. At the end of the tunnel – for now, as she crept along, an end came into view – a streak of brightness, glowing intensely in the dim.

"Sasuke!" Sakura cried out again, leaning forward into a run. She swallowed the fear that bubbled up to grasp at her throat and bundled her hands into fists. She could not let him down. She would not let him down.

At least she reached the brightness, only to find a row of steely bars blocking her way. On the other side, a cell. Or, not quite a cell, but a segment of the same hallway, with bars blocking it off from the opposite side as well, with more dark passageway extending beyond view. On the left of the cell, an unremarkable wall with another torch. The opposite side, to Sakura's right, flashed a wall of a blinding white light.

And, in the middle of it all, stood Sasuke, swirling tomoes of his Sharingan focused on something in the sidewall that she couldn't quite make out. The young Uchiha looked just like she remembered, the spikes of raven-black hair long and disheveled along the back of his neck. The skin of his face like untouched porcelain, save the flower of violet shadows beneath his eyes and the scar slashing over the sweep of his jawline. A bead of sweat gathered at his temple, and his teeth ground together with venom.

"Let–me–OUT!" he roared suddenly, tearing toward the wall of light and hammering his fist against it. He reared back and smashed his hand into it again, then doubled back and thrashed his shoulder against it a final time. When he came away, his knuckles smeared with scarlet, his breath heaved. Sweat dripped now from his scalp, indicating he'd been at this for some time before Sakura's arrival.

"Sasuke-kun!" she called out , rushing up to the bars. She grasped them in her fists, jerking and pushing at them until they rattled, but didn't give way. Sasuke did seem to hear her, nor did he indicate he even knew she was there. He continued to lounge at the wall, again and again, blood pouring now from the seams of his fist.

Sakura hopped a few steps back, channeled all of the chakra she could into her right hand so that it glowed a fiery emerald, and flung it with everything she had at the bars in front of her.

She blinked – instead of buckling, the bars propelled the energy back at her, hurling her body back across the passageway to skid across the stone floor. When she slid to a stop, Sakura rolled onto her back and groaned, one shoulder blade aching from taking the majority of the fall. She wrestled to her feet, growling as she cracked her shoulder and spat a hint of blood that had gathered on her tongue.

Still in his cage, Sasuke's efforts had slowed. With each failed attempt, his motions seemed more sluggish, exhaustion seeping into every blow. With a final, feeble swing, he staggered backward and slammed into the wall, then slid to the ground. He sat against the wall in silence for a moment, his eyes finally falling from the brightness to his crimson-covered hand, then to the floor at his feet. His obsidian hues clouded with gray, the tomoes of his sharingan gone.

"Get up!" Sakura screamed, sprinting to the bars and yanking at them. "Get back up!"

He didn't move, didn't hear her. She swore under her breathe. Then, movement out of the corner of her eye amongst the brightness, caught her attention. She twisted around, pushing herself against the steel bars to get a better look into the light.

At once, the view tumbled into clarity, and Sakura saw her own self, through Sasuke's eyes, gazing back. Her own pinkette locks swirling around a sweat-drenched face. Her green vest fluttering in the wind, her team spread out behind her, nudging and pushing at her motionless body. Sakura's heart fluttered: I'm looking out of his eyes. I'm seeing what Sasuke's seeing.

But… Sakura's emerald orbs flickered to the dark-haired youth in the cell. If Sasuke's here, with me, then who's out there…?

Sasuke's expression lit up with a sudden, wild fury. He leapt to his feet, a shadowy aura emanating past the bars toward Sakura, as he again approached the light.

"Sasuke!" yelled out Sakura once more, snagging a hand through the bars as he moved close. The hem of his cloak wavered just beyond her fingertips. She swore, feeling the tendons in his shoulder stretch right to that edge of sensation–

Sakura's fingers closed around fabric, and she wrenched it toward her with all of the leverage she had. The Uchiha staggered back, eyes flashing in her direction to discern what had grabbed his cloak, Sakura still invisible to him.

When he threw back his hand wide to reclaim balance, she snatched it in hers. At once, Sasuke's eyes fell on her, widening in confusion as she pulled him to the bars standing between them.

In a fluid motion, the scarlet of his kekkei genkai glowed into action and he wrenched his hand from her grasp, then snatched his arm through the bars toward her. His fingers closed around his throat before she could inhale, her feet dangling suddenly above the floor.

"S-Sas-uke–" she choked, clutching at his hand, his grip only tightening around her windpipe. He pulled her toward him, her cheek pressed against the steel bar nearest to her, the roughness of the metal slicing at her skin. His face hovered a breath from hers, rage snarling like a heat from his skin. In his eyes swirled a crazed, frantic fury that sent ice through her chest. He had every intention of killing her.

"Get out of my head!" he screamed in her face, shaking her violently against the bars. She couldn't breathe – the strength beginning to fade from her arms as she struggled, her mind blurring numb.

"It's…me," she tried to murmur. "P-please st-op." Distrust burned in his eyes. Who does he think I am?

Her consciousness fading, she reached a trembling hand through the bars, and with two fingers extended, tapped his forehead.

At once, her body clattered to the floor in a heap, and she choked in the new air, her hands fluttering to her freed neck. She shot a glance up at Sasuke – his face contorting from shock to self-disgust. She rose to her feet, wavering for a moment before steadying herself against the wall.

"How?" he asked suddenly, eyes flickering from her face to her real face, playing out before them in the brightness.

"Genjutsu, I think–" But before she could finish, Sasuke reared back, and in one fluid motion, slid his hand through the air, past the bars, and into her chest.

"You're not safe here," Sasuke growled, jerking back his hand.

Instead of pain, Sakura felt something release inside of her, as if he'd untethered something keeping her locked in this strange illusion. At once, she felt herself flying back through the hallways, and with a jolt, her eyes opened.

Sakura nearly dropped to her knees at the surprise of all the sensations that rushed at her. The scream of flames and villagers, the smell of burning flesh and smoke, and the strangle of Sasuke's hands still around her throat – she snapped her eyes shut again in a futile attempt to get ahead of it all.

She wasn't sure what had just happened. Had she been in a genjutsu, or was it something else? She didn't have time to process it, nor the time to share the intel with her teammates. Everything was coming at her too fast. Hinata appeared by her side, touching her shoulder gently. Sakura sensed Suigetsu and Juugo's immense chakras closing in behind her, and finally opened her emerald hues.

Less than one-hundred yards ahead, her eyes zeroed in on Sasuke's form. He looked so similar to the man she'd just left behind in the illusion… except, something was wrong with the real-world Sasuke. He was shaking in place, his face a sudden shade paler, his mouth hanging agape.

Suddenly he lurched forward, then back, his katana clattering to the ground at his feet. His face contorted with a cross of agony and intense effort, and his hands flew to his head, nails biting into the flesh around his temples as his eyes screwed shut. His mouth wrenched opened his mouth to loose a noiseless scream, then gritted down again. He collapsed to his knees, shaking violently as he bellowed something indiscernible. On his forehead, glowing ominously, were a series of written symbols, too far away for Sakura to quite make out from their position.

"Something's going on," whispered Hinata, taking a hesitant step forward as her silvery eyes widened, darting around the Uchiha's form. "I'm seeing– I'm seeing two distinct chakras around him."

Sakura whipped around, her eyes flashing up to Sasuke's face. She pictured him back in the illusion, smashing again and again against the brightness. He must be getting through! The rosette kunoichi leapt forward.

"Now! Go!" she screamed back to her teammates, charging forward without another glance back. Now was their chance – Sasuke was fighting for them, for this the opportunity, and they couldn't waste it.

Before they could get far, a flash of red slashed through their vision. A newcomer, face distorted by a mask, now stood over Sasuke, his body crackling with the remnants of some sort of crimson lightning jutsu. A black cloaked swirled around him, hood drawn over his head, yellow eyes flashing at the four shinobi now rushing at him.

"Don't you fucking touch him!" Sakura bellowed, hand flying to her weapons kit before she sent a volley of charged senbon hurtling toward this new opponent.

The figure knocked the weapons out of the air with a wave of a kunai, eyes narrowing. Then, in one fluid motion, the shinobi snatched his arm down and closed his grip around the struggling Uchiha's forearm. In another red flash of lightning, the two vanished.

"No…" Sakura breathed, skidding to a stop just short of where Sasuke had just stood. Her shoulders trembled with shock. She shrieked and slammed her fist into the earth, chakra rippling through the ground before it burst and shattered into rubble around her.

Hinata appeared at her side in an instant, whirling this way and that as she desperately searched their perimeter.

"Nothing," she said quietly, after a time. "They're gone."

Sakura dropped to a crouch, running a gloved hand through her hair, struggling against the pressure that gathered at the corners of her jade hues. A drop of rain slid down collar bone, and she made no move to wipe it clear. Only when the drizzle had thickened to a full downpour did she dare glance up, the tears streaming down her cheeks undiscernible from the rain.

"Damn it," she swore up into the gray.

Sakura slipped her feet from her sandals and let them dangle over the edge of the deck, the grass swirling up to meet her toes. A warm breeze tugged at the hem of her dress and brushed past her cheek. She heard movement from behind her and turned.

Sasuke lay across the porch on his back, eyes closed, a serene expression on his face. His hand rested on his chest, his fingers tapping a tune that she wished she could hear. When he breathed, a few loose strands of his raven-black hair fluttered away from his face, revealing the sharp slash of his jawline.

Relaxing on the porch of his own home, his guard down and all of the adrenaline and focus and deadliness of battle put aside, he looked more like a child than he had in a long time. Sasuke always sped beyond his years, the trauma of his childhood forcing a quick maturity, but when you got right down to it, he was supremely young – barely pushing twenty-years-old – and it showed, in that moment.

A small smile spread across Sakura's lips, her cheeks glowing warm. Sasuke, as if in response, cracked open one eye, his charcoal gaze swiveling to meet her emerald one. She blanched, and looked quickly back to her feet, examining her pink toenail polish.

"Something you need?" he intoned. She could feel his gaze against her back and shook her head, face flushed at being caught staring.

Her own gaze flickered up past Sasuke's yard to watch a sparrow fluttering to land on the statue in the park just beyond the fence. Itachi's statue. A frown brushed past her features until a low grumbling sound from behind her reeled in her attention once more.

"Are you hungry or something?" Sakura asked, swinging her legs around to lean back against one of the posts and get another good look at the Uchiha. She hugged her knees to herself, her cheek pressed against her thigh. Sasuke shrugged mildly without opening his eyes.

"Do you want me to grab you something from inside?" At this, he slid an eye open once more, blinking as if to gauge the seriousness of her proposal. She raised an eyebrow at the look he was giving her, holding his gaze before a smirk crossed his lips and he closed his eye again.

"I could eat," he responded finally.

Sakura chuckled under her breath and rose leisurely to her feet. Her back, stiff from sitting on the hard wood porch, crackled as she twisted it about. She stepped over Sasuke without too much difficulty, then pushed the sliding paper door open before slipping inside.

Sasuke's house hadn't been lived in for years, and its insides betrayed that fact. A film of dust covered what sparse furniture he had – only the essentials in each room – and cobwebs laced a few of the upper corners. No personal touches warmed up the walls, no photos or artwork, just the white paint and the dark wood trim. A staircase ascended into the unlit second floor.

A part of her wanted to explore, and another part of her felt terrified to. Was this the house Sasuke's parents had died in? Sakura wasn't sure she wanted to know, but felt the claw of curiosity at the back of her mind anyway.

She hurried across to the kitchen, passing the dining room on her way. A long table stared back at her, four chairs waiting empty at its side. Sakura felt a coldness spring through her chest, and moved on.

First, she checked the fridge and found it empty, as expected. Then she moved to the cupboards, foraging about for a while before coming up with an unopened box of rice crackers and a bag of dried mango. She moved next to another cabinet, now in search of a bowl, and stopped.

On one shelf, neat sets of white plates, bowls and mugs awaited her. However, on the shelf below, a single plate lay by itself. It was a thick, white ceramic plate with a child's painting on it, like from one of those you-paint-it-yourself children's birthday parties. Sakura reached out and picked it up, holding the piece up delicately between her fingertips.

The drawing was of a small family, each member labeled in uneven handwriting. All of the stick figures had smiles that took up their whole faces, with colorful clothes and misshapen hands. In the middle stood "mom," with a long nest of black paint around her head for hair, and beside her was "dad," his face scrawled with gray squiggles that Sakura could only assume were wrinkles. On the left, slightly shorter than the parents, was "Itachi" with long ponytail. Finally, on the right, was a little boy with spikey hair labelled "me."

Below the family, surrounded by decorative shuriken, kunai and a few random flames, wrote the final touch: "Merry Christmas. Love, Sasuke."

Sakura's lip trembled as she carefully replaced the plate on the shelf. After grabbing a bowl, she closed it the cabinent, and leaned against the counter with an exhale. She closed her eyes, and touched her hand to her temple, lips set in a thin line.

Sasuke-kun.

Most days, when she looked at him, she didn't think about all of this. She didn't think or see all of the trauma he'd been through. She just saw her friend, and the person that'd she'd fallen for as a child, and all of the man that he'd become since then.

Did Sasuke think about it all? Did he find himself often dwelling in the deaths of his family, in the faults of his vengeance and the sacrifices of his elder brother? Were those events the lens through which he saw all things? Or were they flickers of his past, influencing his day-to-day more passively – always present, but perhaps not as fresh and as visceral?

And was the plate from his childhood in his cabinet because he was sentimental and wanted to remember, or because that was simply where he kept the plates?

Sakura shook her head and poured crackers into the bowl she'd retrieved, then topped it with a handful of mango slices before closing up the box and bag and padding back toward the porch. Outside, the sky had begun to wander from cerulean to turquoise, with faint hints of pink wandering about its edges.

When Sakura closed the screen door behind her, she found Sasuke fast asleep. His head had rolled to the side, arm splayed out to the side with his palm facing up, fingers slightly curled. His chest rose and fell with each slow breath, and the slightest of smiles had spread across the softness of his cheek.

"Sasuke-kun…" she muttered, marveling at the sight of him. She set down the bowl of snacks before turning inside to grab a blanket she had seen folded over one of the couches in the living room. She returned, shaking it out a few times over the lawn before gently pulling it over Sasuke's form. He shifted in his sleep, closing and reopening his mouth, but quieted down again.

Sakura moved to sit next to him, leaning back against the side of the house. She nibbled at a cracker, and grinned into the approaching evening. Perhaps it was selfish to think this way, but right then, in that moment, she had everything she'd ever wanted.

[kajaroj]

When we think of video game movies/adaptations, the thing that first come to mind is the horribly forgettable 1993 Super Mario Brothers movie. That movie laid the foundation of a string of multiple bad video game movies made by Hollywood, and one of which was 1994 Street Fighter starring Jean-Claude Van Damme. While there somewhat of a redeeming value with the movie (mostly for the wrong reasons), the 1994 Street Fighter movie represents the difficulty Hollywood has had in adapting a long-running fighting game franchise.

A year ago, I was full of excitement and hyperventilation when they announced that the live-action TV series based on the popular Street Fighter video game franchise—that had been in the works since 2014—was finally moving forward. What’s really exciting about the upcoming TV series is that it will be a sequel to an already existing live-action Street Fighter adaptation. Thankfully it’s neither the 1994 movie nor the Chun-Li movie.

https://deadline.com/2018/03/street-fighter-video-game-franchise-adapted-tv-series-entertainment-one-mark-gordon-1202352026/

To put things in perspective, this article will be a retrospective about the 2014 live-action web-series/movie Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist (to which the upcoming TV show sequel is based on), and why I consider this live-action foray to be one of the finest and most faithful screen adaptations of any video game to date and why this needs more mainstream exposure.

Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist is the brainchild of British actor and stuntman Joey Ansah. If you are not familiar with this man’s work, I suggest watching one movie he is most known for: The Bourne Ultimatum.

  The Bourne Ultimatum was the perfect stepping stone for Joey Ansah to showcase his talents that would eventually get him the opportunity to do a live-action Street Fighter adaptation, especially one that is done properly and faithfully. Out of all the Street Fighter aficionados that I’ve seen, Joey is arguably the only one that is genuinely passionate for the entire lore and universe, and it is very much evident in Assassin’s Fist on how much he carefully crafted dimension and humanity to well-known characters that are basically two-dimensional polygons in a fighting game.

Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist arose from a proof-of-concept short film that was released on YouTube in 2010, and it immediately got positive traction from fans and numerous media publications. The well-received short film, Street Fighter: Legacy, was done as a mere response to Hollywood’s failed attempts at adapting CAPCOM’s popular IP. Hearing from Joey’s interviews, like many Street Fighter fans he disliked the two Hollywood adaptations, and he really wants something to be done right.

Joey initially pitched a TV series to CAPCOM, but because of the certain difficulties of trying to get a TV show to be made, he re-approached his pitch into a short film which eventually became Legacy. Fast forward to 2012, the announcement of a new live-action Street Fighter feature-length series made me feel apprehensive at first. However, when I heard that it would be made by the same guys who did the Street Fighter: Legacy short film, it sparked a huge amount of hope, as I thought this might be the first live-action Street Fighter that will be done right. Two years later, the series Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist, was about to arrive. It was around 4-AM, and I was all prepared with early morning breakfast. Going in, I was feeling a bit anxious because, given the current status of video game adaptations in Hollywood which are still a work-in-progress, I still didn’t feel that a live-action Street Fighter series would merit any artistic or narrative value. However, after watching the series in its entirety, tears started pouring down and I felt so happy and relieved that it was very good. I thought it was the most intense, emotional and immersive experience I’ve ever had cinematically.

Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist was first released as a web series on YouTube, consisting of 12 episodes which are 10-12 minutes per episode, so if combined, it’s like a 2 & 1/2 hour movie. In terms of its production value, the series is very cinematic in quality, and so I feel it could have been released in movie theaters. Assassin’s Fist is truly a fan’s wet dream, having a huge amount of in-game references and Easter eggs for fans familiar with the games. But underneath its fan-service contains an incredible amount of deep narrative that strongly flushes out each of the characters. Of all the video game adaptations that I have seen, this is one that I would watch over and over. So, I asked myself: “Why did this work?” “What were the strengths?” Here are a few reasons as to why Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist worked so well as a fighting game adaptation:

This live-action adaptation is Street Fighter to the core.

The film/series stars the franchise’s poster boy, Ryu, played by Korean-American actor, Mike Moh. It also stars his American best friend/rival, Ken, played by British actor, Christian Howard. What I can truly say with this is… FINALLY!!! We have a live-action Street Fighter that is very true to the core essence of the games.

The main actors are well-cast, especially Ken Masters because he looks exactly like Ken in real life. Ryu was also spot-on that he reminded me one of the artworks from Street Fighter III: Third Strike. 

    The story takes place in Japan.

Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist’s setting takes place in the secluded mountain wilderness of Japan, which should have been the appropriate start for a live-action adaptation of the game. Street Fighter may be a global game franchise, but its roots will forever be ingrained with Japan. So, who lives in Japan? Who else?! The franchise’s poster boy, Ryu.

Ryu, perfectly embodied by Mike Moh.

The great thing about Assassin’s Fist is that it mostly tells the story of the Japanese characters. The story is set around the late 80s’ Japan where Ryu trains in the deadly style of martial arts known as “Ansatsuken” (Assassin’s Fist) under the tutelage of his master, Gouken. Though Ryu is not the only one learning the art of Ansatsuken, his American best friend Ken Masters is also learning the arts after his father brought him to Gouken when he was young to change his way of life after his mom’s death. During their final years as students, they learn the ways of the Hado, learning to do the 3 signature moves: Hadoken, Shoryuken & Tatsumaki Senpu-kyaku.

Assassin’s Fist is 2 storylines told in a non-linear way. The present-day storyline takes place in the late 80s’, while the past takes place around the late 50s’ as flashbacks. In the past storyline, we get to learn how Ryu and Ken’s master Gouken learned the ways of Ansatsuken under his master Goutetsu, and how the dark traditions and legacy of the art led to Gouken’s younger brother, Gouki, into becoming a powerful entity known as Akuma.

I don’t know about you guys, but I love Japanese storytelling, especially in cinema. What I love about Assassin’s Fist is that, despite this being a western adaptation, every aspect feels authentically Japanese. Of course, there were lots of English dialogue, but it balances it with Japanese dialogue that makes the film feel like an authentic Japanese movie. The landscape cinematography and film scope often reminded me of classic Akira Kurosawa films I’ve watched.

It’s not an adaptation of any Street Fighter game.

Among the major strengths of Assassin’s Fist is that the core essence of the games remains intact despite the film not being a direct adaptation of any existing Street Fighter game. The movie acts as a prequel to the events of the first game, while referencing a variety of narrative elements from the games. Aside from the 2 terrible Hollywood film attempts, Street Fighter has had several adaptations, mostly in the animation and comic field. Having read a number of Street Fighter-related comics and watched all of anime, Assassin’s Fist makes a number or references and nods to the various animations and comic book iterations.

The balance of drama and martial arts is perfectly-paced.

What made Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist work as a piece of film was the intricate balance between character drama and martial arts. The film runs at 2 1/2 hours, which was perfect for adding fight scenes at the right pace. The film had about 4 fight scenes and 2 training sequences, which is a total of 6 action scenes. The martial arts scenes were superbly-shot and tightly choreographed, and what really helped make this happen was the fact that the actors themselves are actual martial artists.

As a whole, Assassin’s Fist plays more as a “drama film with martial arts” as opposed to being a martial arts film. The drama worked very well because it was very non-linear, yet straightforward—as opposed to being convoluted and scattered. The character development perfectly humanizes each character’s motivations while still adding a bit of mystery to them. Moments of interaction between Ryu, Ken & Gouken were great to watch, especially the training sequences. My favorite dramatic moments, though, were from the flashback scenes between the young Gouken, Gouki & Goutetsu. The movie is mostly serious in tone, but I also enjoyed the comedic moments just to lighten the mood.

The huge amount of dramatic depth was mostly shown in scenes in the past, especially in scenes between Gouki and Goutetsu where they’re arguing about the traditions and philosophies of the Ansatsuken lineage. There is no clear protagonist and antagonist in the movie, but what really immerses me with each character is that fact that they’re dramatized as very multi-dimensional. They have moral grey areas, flaws, fears, struggles and insecurities that would make you root for any of the characters.

Reflecting on its release, Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist provides a solid proof that fighting games and video games in general can work as cinematic adaptations if done faithfully and properly. This movie is the perfect template for any filmmaker attempting to adapt any video game that properly balances in-game action and story. It’s just slightly disappointing that with everything that was accomplished here, mainstream press overlooked this piece of cinematic gem.

My only assumption as to why Assassin’s Fist not getting its much-deserved mainstream exposure is because it was a fan-made adaptation. But I feel like some of the press overlooked that this movie was made with CAPCOM’s involvement. I guess bigger attention to Assassin’s Fist will subsequently pick up when more updates with the upcoming TV series is released. Thankfully, many of the actors who appeared in this movie/web-series are now getting much bigger opportunities, particularly the Ryu actor, Mike Moh who recently got his Hollywood breakout portraying Bruce Lee in Quentin Tarantino’s latest film, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

From Ryu to Bruce Lee.

So, I’m going to end this article by saying… Thank you, Joey Ansah, for giving us a true-to-heart live-action cinematic adaptation of Street Fighter, and a great yet overlooked video game movie which I truly hope will find its way into much bigger publicity than its initial release.

After over a year trying to sum up my overall thoughts on this particular topic, this is a retrospective on what I consider to be the most overlooked and underappreciated video game adaptation ever. Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist. When we think of video game movies/adaptations, the thing that first come to mind is the horribly forgettable 1993 Super Mario Brothers movie.

[bullsandbourbon]

The Everyman Trader

I am an everyman.  I am neither wealthy nor famous.  I hold no titles and leave records unbroken.  But, I am a worker.  And, I believe in hustle, persistence, & relentless tenacity.

Like all traders, I yearn for freedom and independence.  I think that is a shared bond and deeply rooted desire within our community.  It is not simply about the money; it is about what that money represents.  Money for its own sake is valueless.  Its worth is derived solely from its function as a tool, a tool to help us pursue our dreams or fund that pursuit for those we love.

As I have mentioned before, I come from somewhat humble beginnings.  And, I often think about how tough it is to put in the work, grinding and dreaming of becoming a successful trader while battling the confines of extremely limited capital.  Those thoughts led me to create a project for myself, which I am now sharing with you and have proudly entitled, The Everyman Trader.

Please understand this project is personal, and in no way endeavors to teach someone to trade.  That is a beast unto itself.  But, the idea that one needs three stacks of high society to learn to trade is akin to suggesting one must be a published author to learn to write.  It is a premise I do not accept.  Learning this craft requires years of devotion to study, an oftentimes-painful commitment to self-assessment, and the ability to adapt.  Capital is not -- and should not be -- the primary concern, at least not in the beginning.

My goal was simple: Create a quality portfolio using a small, accessible amount of capital.  I wanted to prove to myself that it could be done, and provide hope and encouragement for young or aspiring traders with even the most modest of means.

In order to achieve this goal, I established the following guidelines:

1.  All positions are in options.  The capital required to purchase and hold common stock in multiple companies is significant and likely out of reach for those with limited resources.

2.  Monthly options will be used whenever possible.  Weekly contracts will only be selected when funding limitations dictate.

3.  The brokerage account is cash only.  There will be no margin privileges and no Pattern Day Trader (PDT) restriction.

4.  The portfolio will be limited to 3-5 positions at any one time.  This is in an effort to balance the importance of portfolio diversity with the realities of limited funding.

5.  The portfolio will provide exposure to at least 2 market sectors at any one time.  Similar to the above, the goal is to capitalize on opportunities in key sectors while avoiding an “all in” approach.

6.  Liquidity will be a key factor in selecting positions.  Focusing on highly liquid names will help to ensure tighter bid-ask spreads, thereby maximizing the small amount of trading capital available.

7.  Both intraday and swing trading strategies can be employed.  While swing trading may prove more appropriate for working traders with small accounts, the lack of margin privileges ensures the PDT is a non-issue for intraday plays.

I envision this project -- at least potentially -- as a series, designed to provide concrete examples of opportunities in the market for those working with limited assets.  And, in that spirit, I could think of no better way to begin this journey than by creating a portfolio using only one hundred dollars.  Regardless of one’s background, even struggling on minimum wage, one hundred dollars is an achievable amount for almost everyone.  And that’s who matters to me, the everyman.

Portfolio I - One Hundred Dollars

The below portfolio provides exposure to three sectors: Materials, Consumer Discretionary, & Financials.  Each of the three selections has at least 45 days until expiration and a minimum Delta (∆) of 20.  Longer-dated options were used when possible to minimize the Theta (θ) while staying within the one hundred dollar trading budget.  And, while I chose to use Calls for this model portfolio, a trader could just as easily adjust it to incorporate Puts based on their bias.  These particular selections are not important; what matters is establishing a quality portfolio within the budget.

$X - United States Steel Corporation

U.S. Steel has been in a downtrend for a long time, and looking at the daily chart may not give a trader or investor much cause to be bullish.  Even as I sit here writing this on May 02, 2019, $X hit a new 52-week low.  In fact, the stock hadn’t breached this level since June 2016.  But, the company also had a solid beat on Q1 earnings, announced after the market closed.  The closing price was $14.39, though $X broke 15 in after-hours trading.

Even just a retest of its December 2018 low of $17.09 represents 2+ points of upside, and is far from unrealistic.

Type: Call

Strike: 20

Expiration: 18 October 2019

Quantity: 1

Mark (mid-price): $ 0.46

This option has a ~ 20 ∆ and essentially no Theta.

$F - Ford Motor Company

Despite its proud American heritage, Ford’s stock is a longtime market laggard.  But, change may be coming.  The company’s most recent earnings report was encouraging, and resulted in $F breaking out above the key ten dollar level.  From a longer-term trend perspective, you can also see the 50-day moving average (MA) is close to crossing above the closely-watched 200-day MA.

An eleven dollar price target is within striking distance, and $F was last at that level in July 2018.

Type: Call

Strike: 11

Expiration: 20 September 2019

Quantity: 1

Mark (mid-price): $ 0.37

This option has a ~ 35 ∆ and time decay is a non-issue at this time.

$XLF - Financial Select Sector SPDR

$XLF is an exchange-traded fund (ETF) that provides solid exposure to the financial sector.  Its key holdings include Berkshire Hathaway ($BRK/B), JPMorgan ($JPM), and Bank of America ($BAC).  Of note, the fund recently broke above its 03 December 2018 high and is testing the 28-dollar level.

Type: Call

Strike: 30

Expiration: 21 June 2019

Quantity: 3

Mark (mid-price): $ 0.05

While this contract only has a ~ 8 ∆, the buyer can purchase 3 contracts, bringing the total to 24.

To end the first edition of The Everyman Trader, I would like to leave you with this, it is my mantra and I say it often:

Tenacity trumps talent.

I do not believe being “under-capitalized” is a viable excuse for not making the effort to learn the craft.  If you want to learn this game, you can.  Do the work.  Tenacity trumps talent.

[girls-scenarios]

Red Equinox. Pt 4.

Idols: Red velvet.

Prompt: All was well for the red velvet coven. The spring equinox was approaching and the girls were preparing. However an unexpected visitor returns and shakes their world upside down. Will they be able to protect themselves and each other? Will they make it out alive?

A/N: This is another one of those weird chapters that’s like a filler to move onto the next one so sorry if it’s not as exciting as before (oops). Everything is now written and finished so part 5 will be the finale so please look forward to the end.

Warnings: swearing

1//2//3//4//5

Writer: Admin Kitty.

Rain hammered against the small square window waking Wendy from her slumber. She looked around the dark box room. She definitely wasn't at home anymore. She tried to move her arms but they were tied together around a water pipe. Seulgi was still passed out from hitting her head on the stairs but Irene was awake, watching the rain hit the tiny window.

“Ugh, what happened?” Wendy asked feeling like she was going to be sick.

“She blew some kind of powder in your face to knock you out.” Irene said.

“What about you?” Wendy asked.

“I distracted Jessica and Krystal so Joy could escape.” Irene tried to move down the pipe closer to Wendy.

“And did she?” Wendy hoped they still had Joy as hope. Irene nodded.

“I hope she’s okay. Don’t lose faith, Joy would do anything for us.”

A groan came from the other side of the room. “Fuck, my head is killing me.” Seulgi moaned.

“That’s what you get for trying to slice an evil witch's face.” Irene couldn't help but chuckle.

“Yeah well, I can’t say she didn't deserve it.” Seulgi went to touch the bleeding wound on her head but found her hands were tied to a pipe.

“Great, just great. Where’s Joy and Yeri?” Seulgi squinted in the darkness, she couldn't see them in there with them.

“Joy managed to escape and Yeri is with Jessica.” Irene said studying the rope around her wrist.

“She’s got Yeri! Fuck.” Seulgi rolled her head back and rested it on the wall.

“She didn’t get Yeri, Yeri wanted to go with her. She said she was sick of being treated like a child by us.” Wendy scoffed. She didn’t treat Yeri like a child, she just wanted to protect her at all costs.

“That doesn’t sound like Yeri. I know Yeri better than you and I know she wouldn’t do that.” Seulgi didn’t believe her.

“Well that’s what she did, get your head out of your ass and see that she betrayed us.” This whole day had taken a tole on Wendy and her patience was wearing thin.

“Maybe if you didn’t treat her the way you do, she wouldn’t want to leave us.” Seulgi retorted. 

“I’m sorry that I care about her well being.” Wendy said sarcastically.

“There’s caring and then there’s smothering. No wonder she hates you.” Seulgi replied venomously. The two girl began shouting insults back and forth until Irene had, had enough.

“SHUT UP!” Irene shouted.

“We are locked in a fucking basement that only God knows where and you two are arguing like fucking children!” The two girls looked a different corners of the room, avoiding eye contact with each other and Irene. They felt ashamed.

“Frankly I am tired of the both of you arguing all the time. We are supposed to be a team. How can we work together if the only thing that comes out of your mouths is insults.”

“We can’t change the fact that she’s left us, but Jessica will kill her when she’s done with her. I suggest the two of you grow up or you will both be forced to leave the coven.”

Both the girls were gobsmacked, they never thought in a million years that Irene would do such a thing but by the look on her face she was deadly serious.

“I’d strangle you both right now if I could.” Irene said not looking back and forth between them.

All the girls remained silent. Irene was scraping her ropes on the bar hoping it will cut loose.

“I don’t think we can cast magic in here.” Seulgi said looking for a door. It was too dark to see if there was anything in the room, all she could make out was shadows of Irene and Wendy.

“Obviously. Jessica isn’t stupid.” Wendy replied sarcastically.

“I was just saying, God you don’t need to be so rude about it.” Seulgi was tired of arguing.

“This isn’t working.” Irene panted, she stopped trying to break her rope.

“If this is the end, I wanna say as much as you two get on my nerves; I love you both.” Irene said sincerely and smiled. Seulgi started tearing up.

“Thank you for saving us Irene, you’re the reason we’re still alive today. We couldn’t have wished for a better coven leader.” Seulgi said through her tears.

“Yeah, thank you Irennie. Also Seulgi I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything and you know that. Sometimes I…” Wendy was cut off by the small box window being smashed by a rock.

Joy popped her head into the window.

“How’s everyone doing down there?” she said cheerfully.

“Well you interrupted my heartfelt speech.” Wendy said annoyed.

“I’m sorry, I only came here to save your lives. Carry on.” Joy prompted Wendy.

“Just get us out of here!” Wendy shouted up to her.

Joy pulled out a large jar and opened the lid, releasing a sparkly smoke into the room. From the smoke four girls appeared, their beautiful pixie wings shimmered.

“I hope you’ve brought other friends Joy.” Seulgi shouted out “I’m not sure pixies are gonna cut it. No offence guys, you know I love you all.”

“None taken, but we can get you out of here and that's all that matters right now.” Yooa said untying Seulgi’s rope. Binnie and Arin untied Wendy and Irene while Hyojung was digging around in her pouch for shrinking powder.

“Okay girls, grab onto a pixie. Once you’re shrunken we’ll fly out, if you let go I can’t promise that you’ll live.” she tried saying as lightly as possible. They all grabbed onto one of the pixies long flowing pastel coloured dresses while Hyojung sprinkled shimmering dust on them.

Once shrunken they were the size of a pea.

“I can’t believe I could get any smaller.” Wendy said in a high pitched voice.

“Your voice sounds stupid.” Chuckled Seulgi in the same way.

“So does yours!” Wendy shouted back.

The pixies flew out the small window, un-shrinking once they reached the ground.

“Joy!” Seulgi ran and pulled Joy into a hug, refusing to let go. 

Irene didn’t like pixie magic, it made her disorientated. She struggled to gain her balance so she sat on the muddy floor.

“Umm, Yeri’s in trouble so….” she pried Seulgi off of her.

“I say we leave her, she betrayed us.” Wendy said looking around at where they were. Which was the middle of nowhere, yet there was something oddly familiar about it.

“I told her to.” Joy said nonchalantly.

“What do you mean?” Irene said confused.

“I knew that our best bet would be if she went with Jessica, so I told Yeri to try and find a way to make it seem like she legitimately wanted to go so she caused an argument.” Joy said.

“When did you do that?” Seulgi asked.

“I left a note on her bed. I told that she needed to do as I told her because it would save our lives and hers.” Joy explained.

“I told you Wendy. She would never leave us.” Seulgi said smugly. Wendy rolled her eyes.

“Where are we by the way?” Irene said looking around. They were standing next to a small thatched roof cottage in the middle of nowhere. There were no other houses or buildings in site only fields and grasslands. In the distance huge black clouds were swarming and lightening was striking. She assumed that was where they were going.

“Take a guess.” Joy said sadly.

“We’re in the field again. She brought us back here didn’t she?” Joy nodded at Irene's response. “And I’m guessing we’re going over there.” Irene said pointing at the dark mass of clouds in the distance, to which Joy nodded again.

“Did you bring backup?” Wendy asked nervously.

“The werewolf boys, the EXID coven and the angels.” Joy listed off.

“Angels?” Seulgi asked. She didn’t know any angels.

“Is it Dayoung, Yeonjung and the others?” Arin spoke up from behind them. Joy nodded.

“I wanted to contact the SNSD coven but they are travelling at the moment.” Joy said looking around. She could hear rumbling from nearby which was quickly getting closer.

A large pack of wolves was fast approaching. The pack leader howled loudly as they grinded to a halt near the girls. They transformed back into their human selves; the Nct wolf pack.

“Irene.” The pack leader nodded towards her.

“Taeyong.” She responded back. They hadn’t really seen eye to eye before. “I see you’ve brought the young ones.” She said looking at Jisung and Chenle. She didn’t agree with werewolf practices.

“I figured they could use the training.” He said without showing emotion.

“Where are the others?” Binnie asked. “It’s getting late and the equinox is fast approaching.” she said nervously.

“We’ve been down there for two days?!” Wendy exclaimed.

“Yeah it was hard to find you.” She responded. 

“Also the others are meeting us there. We need to get going.” Joy walked off towards the stormy are as the others followed. They were sure in for a fight.

[ecotone99]

[RF] Broken

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental

----

The music was blasting, my ears were ringing already, and I was only at the bar. My musketeers had asked me to fetch them some drinks while they evaluated the state of the dancefloor and looked for potential dance partners.

It was too early for me to party; I felt like shite, I could still smell Anne’s perfume in my sheets and in my pillow. I couldn’t bring myself to wash them, maybe yearning for her touch was my way of beating some sense into my own head. That woman had been in my life since I was 7 years old, and now, in every moment of the day, I always felt like there was something missing, no matter where I went and no matter what I drank.

The waitress came back with 4 rum and colas, throwing me out of melancholy lane for the moment. I tapped my card, collected the glasses and snuck a peek at those beautiful green eyes of hers as I mouthed thank you, they seemed to beam with their own light.

Back on the dancefloor, we were doing a poor job at balancing our drinks in one of our hands while dancing like proper dorks: flapping our arms like birds, doing the robot; the whole shebang. I loved the fact that we were happy to chill for once; when we were in our early years of university, it was all about women and it got boring quite quickly for me.

We must have looked ridiculous together since we are extremely different. Raf stood at 2 meters tall, slim, with wild curly brown hair breaking free from underneath a stylish hat, and a huge nose. Loui was looking careless lately: he had left his black hair to grow out of control, almost reaching shoulder length, thick glasses framed his pale white face. He didn’t visit the gym that much anymore; you could tell he was ripped, but we had all seen him in better shape. Richard was out hunting tonight, he wore a stylish white shirt over some jeans and when he raised his hands to dance you could see the hypertrophy struggling to break the bonds of that expensive shirt, tattoos sneaking off to his forearms from the sleeves. I stood between Richard and Loui, my dirty blond hair was barely combed through and I was wearing a shirt that did a good job at hiding how much I had stopped taking care of myself lately.

Richard was the first one to spot them: the blonde was hard to miss. She was probably under 25, and she was wearing a dark red dress that was too short for my taste, ending just a few centimetres from her bottom. She was petite, slim and slender, but the dress stuck to her like a second skin, shifting over her as she danced. It was mesmerising, I had to admit. The dark red tones of her dress matched her lip colour and contrasted with her porcelain skin. She was wearing a heavy layer of makeup that probably took a few hours to put together. I could still hear Anne’s voice:

‘If you want me with a proper face on, either shut up or fuck off. Would you darling?’

The dress reflected some of the dancefloor lights and made that golden hair of hers even more obvious. She was sipping on a cosmopolitan and talking with her group of five friends.

I could already see ‘The Womaniser’ thinking about a plan of approach. Richard was an open book to most of us. We had known each other since we were in our early teens. Raf pointed towards Richard, as he moved towards the group of young women. He smiled; ‘Classic Richard’ screaming out as body language to those that could read it.

Patience is a virtue and I was not in a hurry to turn this guys night out into whatever it was that Richard had on his mind. I had recently started to drink a lot faster, and hence, I was running dry, so I went to get another one for myself. Alcohol was starting to numb my previous melancholic state of mind and I felt like indulging myself.

From the bar, I asked the green-eyed bartender for a whiskey double. She briefly made a recommendation of a brand they were carrying. I was happy to humour her, she nodded as she went for the bottle. From the bar, I could clearly see Richard perform his mating ritual moves nearby the group of girls, casually approaching. Not casually enough. Their faces went from amusement to annoyance to amusement again as he realised that he had been caught and went full dork mode again.

‘Your friend better stay away from Chloe, she is too much for him to deal with.’ I barely caught the last words over the loud music.

I turned to see an attractive woman around 30, wearing a very light layer of makeup over dark caramel skin and what looked like pale brown eyes, yellow maybe, I couldn’t tell with all of the lights. Her lips were a shade darker than her skin. She wore a very simple black dress that clung to her shoulders by a single strap around her right shoulder, almost touching one of the two silver loops hanging from her ears. She was of medium build and looked like she hadn’t been skipping gym lately. Her expression was a mixture of contempt and irritation.

‘How do you know that I’m with that dork, lady?’ I smiled as saw Raf and Loui join Richard in what it seemed to be a native American rain dance.

‘Cause you’ve been laying everyone low with those 60s moves and we’ve been laughing at you for the entire night!’ She wasn’t quite smiling.

‘I don’t see the problem on making a bunch of, if I may say, very lovely women laugh at us. Do you?’ I offered her my most innocent smile.

‘Ha! Cheeky!’ It seemed that comment caught her by surprise, as her stern face lit up momentarily.

‘So, you’re with Chloe the cheerleaders, I take.’ I asked pointing at Chloe and her red dress.

‘It’s more of a hen party actually. She’s is getting married.’

‘Jack, STOP it. Get up, please.’ I somehow managed to smile through the flashback of my brief, failed attempt at marriage.

‘Pleased to meet you, mother hen.’ I replied playfully, extending my hand.

‘Oh, would you sod off?’ She slapped my hand away, looking irritated, after a brief pause she turned her back on me.

‘Pardon me miss, I meant no offence, I was simply jesting.’ She looked away, without bothering to answer.

I got the message loud and clear. My drink got here, I signalled the waitress to come close. ‘I’ve been a proper jerk to that lady I’m afraid! Whatever she’s having, get her another, and charge it here.’

She nodded and loaded the contactless payment platform with the proper amount. Whatever I ordered for her was cheap. I collected my drink and gave it a sip.

‘Holy moly miss! That’s some proper whiskey, thanks for the recommendation.’ I smiled at her.

She smiled right back and made an ‘I know a thing or two’ gesture. I shook her hand and went back to the dancefloor, quickly setting my unfortunate encounter aside. It was only 1 am, I had plenty of time to have fun.

‘Somebody got rejected by an Indian goddess.’ Loui shouted at my ear.

‘She was already angry to begin with! She cannot take a mild joke…If you talk with her, whatever you do, do not call her mother hen.’ I said.

‘Hahaha, you can be such a twat sometimes Jack.’ He replied while smiling.

We talked about the girl group for a few minutes, got the remaining musketeers up to speed. I grabbed Richard, who was looking a bit grim after discovering that his mark was already taken and invited him to join me for a legendary waltz. After we were done and we were all laughing at the poor show we were putting on, someone tapped me on my shoulder. I turned to see Mother-Hen, holding an empty glass and looking less angry than before.

‘My friend told me that you love nicknames.’ Loui shouted through the music, sharp as ever.

‘You can call me Daddy Rooster!’ the subtle Richard strikes again.

‘I see you’re all clowns!’ she replied.

‘Yup!’ we shouted in unison.

That got her to laugh and she got closer to me so that I could hear her better through the blasting speakers.

‘May I return the favour?’ She raised her empty glass.

‘You may.’ I was short for words. I didn’t know where this was going, this woman was still feeling a bit off, and I wanted to be a bit cautious.

‘Tell her to get me a rum.’ Loui wasn’t done being an idiot.

As we headed towards the bar, it got quieter and quieter. We could finally speak in a normal tone of voice.

‘Sorry, I overreacted before.’ She looked forward, trying to find a spot to order.

‘Don’t worry about it, you’re not the first nor the last lady I piss off by running my mouth off.’

She was walking in front of me; I got a brief look of the back of her dress, which was open just before reaching her lumbar back, showing a discrete tattoo in black ink between her shoulder blades. Her skin tone made it really hard to see clearly. We saw a spot in the middle of the bar and we headed towards it to order.

‘What are you having?’ she asked.

‘They have a lovely single malt here, the bartender will know what I’m referring to. Tell her no ice.’ I turned around and placed my elbows on the bar.

'My my, a bit young to take your stuff straight aren’t you?’ She playfully stated, her tone change was sudden and it seemed out of character.

‘Just old enough to appreciate my liquor bare.’ If she was game, so was I, god knows I could use some company. There was something wrong with this lady though, I could feel it, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

She nodded as she spoke to the waitress and swiped her card. She had a single ring on her right hand’s middle finger, a silver band and a black stone. Classy. Our drinks got here and we gently knocked our glasses together.

‘So I take that to keep things civil I’m going to have to call you by your name.’ I said, while taking a small sip, it was lovely.

‘My name’s a bit long, you can call me Shiva.’ She said, funny enough, an Indian goddess after all. Shiva was the male God of destruction, I could faintly remember.

‘Nice to meet you Shiva.’ We shook hands. ‘I’m Jack. So, how is it that you ended up in charge of the girl scouts over there?’

She smiled.

‘I’m their boss…’ Her face turned grim again. ‘I really didn’t want to come here.’

‘How so?’ I could relate.

‘Oh you know they are just in the whole celebration mood. They want to drink till they’re fuzzy enough to not give a fuck and then go to this strip club down the road.’ I knew the place, it was one of my recent haunts, something that I wasn’t about to admit. ‘They’ve hired a boy toy for a private party.’ I did not know they had male strippers. ‘They just want to enjoy the view as he shakes his junk all around the place.’ She was clearly nervous about this last part, which made me wonder why. Her thumb kept turning her ring around her middle finger.

‘Well, if you are looking for an alternative, you are in luck! My friend Richard there happens to be a fantastic dancer.’ I said.

‘Is that the discrete one?’ She smiled.

‘That’s his surname, yes’

Her smile grew wider.

‘Yea I bet he wouldn’t mind.’ She kept turning the ring on her right hand around. ‘You two could have your own number.’

‘Ha! It’s a work in progress. We don’t get much practise I’m afraid. I can barely dance while I’m sober so we only get the chance while we’re out!’ I replied.

‘It sounds like that’s not very often.’ Her expression turned neutral again. ‘Do you come here much? I haven’t seen you around.’

‘No, I‘ve been a bit of a shut-in lately, but it’s good to go out with the gang again.’ I pointed at them. Raf seemed to take this as an invitation, as he decided to approach us. He faced Shiva, greeted her by taking his hat off, with his other hand, he took my glass and chugged my drink in one swift gulp.

I closed my eyes, raised my eyebrows, gently shook my head and sighed with a profoundly sad expression. You don’t do that to a nice whiskey. I could have slapped him, except, not really, because he was too bloody tall. He smiled as he flicked me off and went back to the dancefloor.

‘Well… that’s one way not to drink whiskey.’ She said.

‘Yes indeed, but I’m not ever going to teach that twat how to drink for pleasure rather than numbness.’

I waved at the waitress, pointed to the glass as I mouthed another one.

‘Please, let me get this for you.’ She said.

The waitress was pouring the whiskey into the measuring cup.

‘Under no circumstance lady. You’ve already bought me one.’ I held my card on my hand.

‘But your friend drank it! You didn’t get to have anything…’ Her tone turned melodic and playful again. She got closer to me. ‘Let me get this for you. Please. I probably make more than you do anyway.’ She said as she held my hand back with hers.

I’ve always had a short fuse, and I’ve always been very aware of this fact. It has always gotten me into trouble. Even my mom was never able to understand how I could ignite so easily when I was being looked down upon.

‘How patronising of you!’ I tried to hide the fact that my blood was boiling under my skin with a very poorly faked smile and a mockery of her playful tone. I removed her hand from mine with more firmness than I meant to, as I signalled the waitress to ignore her.

‘Oh please don’t take it the wrong way!’ She replied sung with that bloody tone again, it was driving me insane. ‘I must be 10 years older than you! Just let me get you that drink!’ She said, putting her hand again on mine so that I couldn’t swipe the card.

‘Seriously Shiva, piss off, I don’t want you to pay for my booze.’ At that point, I was the one wanting to slap hands away.

‘Oh come on… Did the baby get offended?’ She got uncomfortably closer and she playfully grabbed my cheek. ‘Don’t be like my kid!’

My patience came to a sudden end.

‘Yeah, I bet you don’t need anymore else that just wants you out of their life.’

The slap made the heads of everyone in this side of the bar turn. There was a jolt of pain under my left eye. When I opened my eyes I saw her face lit with a fury that I did not expect. She drew her hand back again, her upper lip was drawn upwards and I could see her teeth showing. She hit me again, on the same side with her open hand. She was going for the third hit. I grabbed her wrist, gently but firmly.

‘Whatever the hell you got going on, love, you should really get some help… You obviously need it.’ I said. I let go of her hand, as I gently pushed her back, picked up my whiskey, drank it like Raf did, placed the glass down and headed for the exit of the club. She didn’t say anything, she just stood there. I only caught a brief glimpse of her face before I turned, a weird mixture of anger and embarrassment.

My friends had been watching, they had seen what happened and they were coming to meet me.

‘What in the world did you say to that woman? It looked like you were about to have a little moment there. I blink and I see her properly slapping you.’ Richard looked worried. ‘You okay?’

‘Yea, of course, I’m okay. It’s not like I’ve never got slapped before. To be honest I don’t usually mind getting roughed up.’ I joked while trying to make this less serious than it seemed.

‘We’re not taking you out ever again. You never keep your mouth shut.’ Raf said, barely standing. ‘Now we’re going to have to hit another club!’

I smiled, and a jolt of pain went through my right cheek again. She had some wrist power for sure. I put my hand on my face to find that it was sticky.

‘What the hell?’ I thought out loud.

‘Jack, you’re bleeding.’ Loui said. ‘Let me have a look at you…’

I tilted my head back so that we could shine some of the lights from outside the club.

‘How did she even draw blood?’ I wondered.

‘I don’t know but you have a nasty ass cut on your face mate. Maybe two? I can’t quite tell.’ He grabbed my face and made it face the light. ‘We’re going to have to get you stitched up to avoid this from scarring. This looks deep…’

‘Oh my god there they are!’ We four turned our heads.

Shiva and Chloe were out of the club, apparently looking for us. They approached us with urgency.

‘Coming for strike three?’ I said while they were approaching. ‘You crazy cow! You managed to cut me!’

‘I know…’ She said after arriving, panting, a fine layer of sweat on her forehead. She paused for a moment and looked at her hands, which were bloody. ‘It was the ring. I’m so sorry I lost it there I…’ She didn’t finish the sentence, she looked down and her gaze fixed on her hands.

‘Apologies not accepted, now kindly piss off.’ I replied.

‘No, wait! I’m really sorry, may I please have a look? I’m a doctor.’ She insisted.

‘No, you may not. Seriously, leave me alone before I call the coppers.’ I was not impressed by her sudden remorse.

‘Look, the sooner you get that stitched up, the lesser chance you have of it actually scarring. I live in that block.’ She pointed at the building directly opposite to us. ‘I’ve got the necessary stuff to patch you up in the next 10 minutes. I’m a surgeon so I know what I’m doing. You can call the police afterwards if you want, call them now if you want. Just… let me fix this.’

‘Please Anne, just… let me fix this.’

I looked at Loui, he was almost done with the fifth year of his medicine grad. He didn’t say anything, which meant that he somewhat agreed with what she said.

‘How much has she had to drink?’ I asked Chloe, she had just observed the encounter, silently standing behind her boss all this time.

‘She doesn’t drink at all.’ Chloe looked at us worried, and then to Shiva. ‘She did come back with two drinks from the bar once, but we checked. You know? Cause we like… we thought we had finally gotten her to grab a proper drink but no… they were both sodas.’

That was the first time I invited a woman to a flipping soda in a club.

‘Seriously, you should let her stitch you up. You can’t even imagine what she does to faces on a daily basis.’ Said Chloe.

‘I think I might have a slight clue.’ I pointed at my open wound.

‘So I take you’re less of a doctor and more of a plastic surgeon.’ said Loui, he was aiming for neurosurgery, elitism was something that just came in the package.

‘Yes, I’m a plastic surgeon.’ Shiva barely looked at him to respond before turning to me. ‘Just please let me help. Please?’ Her yellow eyes stared right into mine.

----

We walked into the lobby in complete silence, we hadn’t spoken since we left Chloe and the musketeers waiting downstairs. We got into the elevator and we both turned and stared at the door. The elevator went up to the twentieth floor, the last one, it wasn’t a short ride. It was the only apartment on that floor, must have cost a fortune.

She pushed her keys into keyhole and swung the heavy duty door open. I didn’t break the silence as I didn’t want to wake up some kids in the middle of the night with a bloody face. She turned the lights on, the lounge turned bright. The ceiling was quite high for an apartment, it was about 3 meters high and it had white walls with dark brown furniture, the floor was pale marble, it looked a bit like a futuristic palace. There was a single corridor making the way into the apartment. A single empty three shelved shoe rack marked the start of the no shoe zone. She took her heels off and placed them there, leaving her purse hanging inside the closet. Everything was in an immaculate state.

‘Could you take your shoes off please?’ She said.

‘Yes of course.’ I bent over to undo the laces on my trainers. A few drops of blood fell on the marble floor. They looked like how the dress looked on Chloe’s skin. ‘Ugh, I’ve…’ I said struggling to find my words.

She turned around and she looked where I was pointing at.

‘Oh don’t worry about it, I’ll clean it later. Come to the bathroom, I got my first aid kit there.’ She looked nervous, but emotionless, cold, like a bonfire that’s just been smothered by a bucket of water.

She moved into the apartment turning lights on as she reached the switches. I followed her after I had neatly placed my shoes on the rack next to hers. The corridor was long, I passed two rooms on my right hand, one of them had punk rock posters pasted on the door, Sum 41 and Green Day. I smiled, those were from my generation. The second room had a figure of a moon hanging from the knob and was open. I peeked in, and the walls were blue, a single cradle was in the corner that was visible from the door, and there seemed to be a mattress on the floor, which looked slightly out of place.

‘Jack?’ I heard her call my name.

I hurried to the source of her voice, I passed two corridors to each side, I kept going straight and arrived at a huge, professional kitchen, the fridge was huge, and the induction cooker looked completely unused or very well kept, there was a high dining table in the middle of the room, with high stools, which reminded me of the ones from the club. At the furthest side, there was a baby chair. There was a half open bottle of wine on the middle of the table, and a dirty glass right next to it. I thought Chloe said she didn’t drink. A few dishes were piled up next to the sink, it had a faint food smell like the kitchen hadn’t been aired in a while. There were a few boxes from what seemed to be takeout piled in the trash and there were a few family pictures hung on the walls. Nice place.

‘Shiva, where are you? I’ve gotten lost in this small apartment of yours.’ I whispered into the corridor.

She came from the corridor to the right carrying a little bag.

‘Oh, you found the kitchen, that works better than the bathroom. Sit on that chair would you?’ She hurried me back in, grabbing a stool and sitting next to me. She took the contents of the bag out, and methodically placed them on the counter. ‘This might sting.’

She cleaned the wound with some transparent liquid from a small bottle and some cotton.

‘It does sting like the devil.’

‘Do you want to sit on the baby chair?’ She gave me a Mona Lisa smile.

‘Yes please.’ I could take a joke, even in this weird situation.

She didn’t reply, her smile grew a bit wider before she started to study my cheek, she seemed worried. She gently tilted my head to the side and asked me to hold the position as she got way too close to my face; her rounded nose was close enough to be burrowing into my beard; her yellow eyes, centimetres from mine, not aware of my gaze; her chest was pressed against my arm. She seemed to be a lot more comfortable with this than I was. While trying not to think that this was the closest I had been with a woman that I hadn’t paid to strip for me in some time, I focused on one of the pictures hung on the wall. Shiva was wearing a full piece swimming suit, she was hugging a pale, blond, muscular man, they were on the beach and she was pregnant.

‘I’m so sorry Jack… I’ve done a good number on you, there are two cuts, almost parallel to each other.’ A few tears fell from her face into my beard. ‘Oh god, I’m sorry, I must look like a proper nut-job at the moment.’ She wiped the tears from my face and from hers with the back of her arm.

‘No worries…’ This was beyond awkward, I was still somewhat angry at this woman and I wasn’t quite sure that I had made the right decision following her there.

She continued cleaning the wound, the cotton was turning reddish as she methodically and carefully pressed it against the cuts.

‘Okay, I’m going to need you to stay still. This is some very fine material and I don’t want it to snap.’ She grabbed the hook with something that looked like tweezers, the thread was barely visible to me.

She spread my face with her fingers, now behind a silicone glove and she put the stitches down one by one. I decided to keep my pretty mouth shut and looked at the picture again. I noticed that there was a small boy climbing on her husband’s leg, holding onto his waist with both hands and wrapping his legs around him to push himself up, he had curly dark hair and his skin was a very light shade of brown. It was a lovely family picture.

‘Okay, we’re halfway through, you still there with me?’ She said.

‘Yea, just admiring your little monkey, he seems to have excellent taste in music. How old is he now?’ I pointed at the picture.

‘He’s seven.’ Shiva said, completely emotionless, focused on her work.

‘Pretty young to listen to Punk Rock isn’t him?’ I realised that was none of my business after those words came out of my mouth.

‘That’s his dad’s fault.’ She quickly stated, less neutral than she wanted to sound.

‘Sorry, I was thinking out loud. It’s no concern of mine.’ I did not want her to snap again. I pictured her choking me with the thread, very plausible indeed.

‘Don’t apologise, please… I’m almost done here.’ She tied another knot, but at the end, she dropped the tweezers, which ricocheted off the floor and went under the sink counter.

‘FUCK’ She shouted.

‘Shh!’ I tightened my whole body and pushed my open palms down in a “be quiet” gesture. ‘Jesus Christ, you’re going to wake your whole family.’ I was in no hurry to experience how wonderful it might be to explain this situation to her husband.

‘Shit, those things are slippery. I don’t have another pair, we’re going to have to get them from down there…’

‘Seriously don’t worry about it, I’ll get the rest done at the hospital. God knows what’s down there, I don’t want to get the cut infected…’ This was getting weirder and weirder and I just wanted out of the house. This had been a really bad idea.

‘You’re right, I think Jonh keeps another pair in his nightstand.’

‘No no, do not wake your husband up please.’ I pleaded anxiously.

‘He’s not here.’ She said in a neutral calmed tone. ‘Now shut it and wait till I’m back!’

A few minutes later I heard a loud noise.

‘Shiva?’ I whispered loudly into the corridor again.

‘I’m okay, I just fell down, wait there.’

I’ve never been the waiting kind, I headed to the source of the noise, to the left of the kitchen, and I saw her sitting on her side, in the dark, facing the door, patting her right thigh and looking in pain. I turned the lights on as I entered the room.

‘How did you fall?’ I offered my hand, she grabbed it and pulled herself up.

‘I must have tripped on something. Let’s get back to the kitchen.’ She seemed to want to get out of that room rather quickly, she was tight, nervous.

I thought it was because of the fall, but then I actually looked at the room. I had not noticed the state it was in until that point. There were bottles everywhere, she had tripped on one of them for sure. There was no mattress on the bed, it must have been the one that I saw in the room with the cradle. The blinds were shut and there were two ashtrays sitting on one side of the bed, completely full of cigarette butts, everything else on them was glasses and mugs, some of them overflowing wish ash and more cigarettes. As I noticed this, the smell of home hit me: stale tobacco, marihuana, closed room and the sour-sweet smell from the dried alcohol in the bottles. The pictures in the room were taken off the walls and turned around and there were piles of books on both sides of the bed frame.

‘Seriously please, let’s get out of here, I got Jonh’s first aid kit right here.’ She waved the little purse in front of my eyes, capturing my attention. It was the same way a mother would wave some candy in front of their kids while saying ‘look what I got here’. By this time, Iw as already used to her forcefully playful and cheerful tone.

Before she left, she opened the windows. We left the room without speaking at all, as she left, she closed the door behind her. I sat down in my stool, rested my hands on my lap, and she started working on me again. We remained in silence for a few minutes, this allowed me to unpack the night a bit. I thought about my own demons, and how much they might look like hers. She looked calm and serene while she dug into my skin with that hook. By the few last stitches, I was no longer angry.

‘He left with the kids right?’ I said as I looked her in the eye.

‘Yes.’ She tied another stitch and wiped her first tear away.

----

If you've reached this far, thank you for taking the time to have a read. I really appreciate any feedback. English isn't my first language, so if I've gotten anything wrong: do let me know. Once again, thanks.

This story was first posted on my Medium blog:

https://medium.com/@LoudD/broken-759c7a7348cf

If you enjoyed my story, you can follow me on Medium:

https://medium.com/@LoudD

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[zillowcondo]

187: How to Create a Healthy Approach to Staying Abreast of the News

~The Simple Sophisticate, episode #187

~Subscribe to The Simple Sophisticate: iTunes | Stitcher | iHeartRadio

Upon stepping off the plane at Heathrow last month and wandering into the Devon countryside for a week, I also drastically limited my access to American news. My focus was initially on successfully arriving at my destinations, not missing my train, exploring desired sites and soaking in all of the beauty of the landscape and the culture. While I did turn on the BBC from time to time out of curiosity of what Britain’s culture was focused on and their observations as an outsider of American news, I did so for brief windows of time each morning and evening.

Stepping out of my routine of regularly having news radio on in the background while working and scanning my social media, which prior to my trip contained a long list of news sources that I would frequently check out throughout the day happening without conscious intention initially, and going about my days with this new unconscious habit revealed a lightness about my day that I haven’t experienced for some time.

Due to this observation upon arriving back in the states, I set out to revamp how I took in the news.

Now at this point in the post, some readers may be nodding their heads and going so far as to say, “I never read/watch/view the news. It’s so depressing.” And while, yes, it can be tempting to refrain from all sources of news and go about our days in our own bubble, I would advise that it would be dangerous to do so. As I have shared in 2012, staying abreast of current events is, at its core, crucial to being an informed citizen. And to toss away the power to be able to think critically is a foundational component of living well and creating a world for ourselves and around us now and in the future that we wish to live. In 2020, the United States will celebrate the 100th anniversary of the 19th amendment (women’s suffrage), and to understand the struggle and suppression women fought to rise above should never be forgotten. Our voices are reflected in our vote and with such a powerful responsibility, we must stay informed.

However, there is a healthy balance to be struck, and while I do need to stay abreast of the news for my teaching curriculum as well as for my own knowledge, I became determined to find a better way of staying informed without decreasing the quality of my life.

In a study by the University of Sussex, researchers found that indeed viewing negative news has a negative effect on our well-being. However, as it is important to remain an informed citizen, how does one balance the two?

The effect of negative news:

exacerbates personal worries and anxieties

begin to catastrophize your worries — when you think about a worry so persistently that you begin to make it seem much worse than it was at the outset and much worse than it is in reality

begin to think and talk about your worries far more

As mentioned above, I wrote a post regarding the benefits of staying abreast of the current events of the day, and the last reason is a point I want to break down and examine today: become an educated citizen. It can be tempting to ignore news all together. The positive effects on your mind, and lightness of being will be immediately felt as I discovered during my week long holiday in England. But, when we say no to all news, we also say no to progress, not only improving our own lives, but the lives of those we love, the lives of the generations which will come after us and the quality of life and the quality of the world and the environment of which we call home.

There is a reason the founding fathers chose to organize a representative government rather than a direct democracy. They didn’t trust the common man (or woman as it eventually became her right) to choose well when it came to elections. In other words, they didn’t feel the public was educated enough on matters they would be making decisions. And while we should all have the right to vote as free and fair elections are the cornerstone of a democratic society, we wouldn’t want ignorant voters to place a vote based on lack of understanding of how a particular system of government works. Below are a few reasons to not run away from the news all together:

improve critical thinking skills

observe bias

determine credibility

begin to think objectively

understand most issues involve a lot of grey and are not merely black and white

change can only occur when we know what is actually going on and thus understand what and how to change it

enables you to form your own opinion

cast a vote that supports the world you want to see materialize

holds those in power accountable

So while yes, the peace I so deeply enjoyed while traveling was something I wanted to return home with, I also knew a balance needed to be struck, as there are many benefits:

The Benefits of a Healthy Balance:

reduce stress

broaden perspective

more emotional energy to focus on priorities

better sleep

healthier relationships

confidence in decisions in upcoming elections

Each of us will make different changes, so it is important to understand ourselves and how/why we do welcome excessive news into our lives. With the first suggestion, we will drill down to the core of the shift that needs to be made and then follow with eight more ideas for striking a healthy balance that elevates the quality of your everyday without leaving you in the dark.

1.Become aware of the changes you wish to make and why

Come to understand the cue and why you respond the way you do. What is the reward you think you are going to receive? Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and author Charles Duhigg wrote The Power of Habit, and within the book he explains how habits occur and how to break them if they are not serving us well. It comes down to understanding the three part cycle: Cue, Reward, Routine (see the detailed graphic here).

Part of why I turn on the radio, the news, or scan my social media to stay apprised of current events, is that it is part of my routine. Within in that routine, I am seeking a particular outcome. In other words, I am craving something that I think this habit will satisfy. Once I identified that I wanted to learn, and knowing that this routine is not procurring the outcome I actually desire, I can shift the routine. But first, I needed to understand the cue that shifted my attention to feeling the need to stay aware or learn something. Also, in some moments during the day (because he suggests looking at the time of day in which the habit takes place), it was merely to have background company while I worked.

Understanding these three components is a significant step toward altering the habit that you’ve discovered, in this case watching, reading or hearing too much news. In the following steps we’ll talk about how to create new habits that satiate the craving.

2. Understand the tactics and all the purposes of the news business

While yes, the news is meant to inform (find the who, what, when, where and the why), the networks/channels need to keep you watching as each station is funded by advertiser dollars (BBC and PBS being exceptions) and thus, need to keep your eyeballs on the television for as long as possible. Often the “why” is something that cannot be answered immediately; however, the anchors would like you to think they can find the answer: the answer will reveal itself with the next guest that will be chatting in the next segment, and that is one way to keep you tuned in.

3. Adjust the sites, channels you view

Either view a neutral news site or challenge yourself to view the opposing columnists, news sites, opinions and commentaries to better understand their argument. One assignment I give my rhetoric students each year is to read a columnist who leans to the left on political issues (domestic and international) for the first semester, followed by reading a columnist from the opposing side the second (have a look at the list here – I am always adding to and tweaking it). I too continue to read columnists from the left and right to better understand the issues at a level that is far deeper than the short talking points shared in headlines, comment sections, etc. Often, what I find is that I become a bit calmer after reading the opposition (credible source is a must) as the fear mongering has been reduced and I am able to better understand why the other side adheres to their ideology on a particular topic.

Another site I would recommend you checking out to view multiple sides of issues is a source our school’s librarian has shared with our staff: AllSides. As you will see, it is organized just as the name alludes: each column is placed on its respective place on the continuum, so you can have at your fingertips, multiple sources and opinions about a current event topic.

4. Welcome a deeper understanding of history into your reading repetoire

Part of the fear and angst that intensifies is due to a lack of knowledge of what has happened in the past. A deep understanding. The cause, the effect. It’s one thing to memorize the dates of events, but its another to understand the catalyst that led to the event occurring and the outcome that followed. This takes time. This requires more than a viewing of a three minute segment on the news. Pick up a book on a topic that interests you that has parallels to the issues that matter to you and dive deep into the archives of history.

5. Adjust how you receive the news

Perhaps turning off the notifications on your phone is the first step toward change that will limit your stress. Then look to how you are receiving the news: social media or newspapers; radio or television? Often we take in news without being prepared to receive it. In other words, we are passive receivers of the news – we are letting the news come to us when it wants to arrive. Instead, choose to be an active receiver. Choose when and how you will receive the news of the day.

I prefer the radio and the newspaper as I have more control as to when I am ready to learn what is going on in the world. I recently went through my Twitter account and unfollowed nearly 100 different people who were associated with news or world events that typically shared information that stressed me out to read. Now my feed contains primarily inspiring, trusted and less inflammatory sources of individuals. I also have chosen to receive a daily news email that arrives in my inbox each morning (rather than alerts), so that I can determine when I see the news and prepare myself for it, read it, and move forward with my day. Most major news sites have an email subscription service like this. Some even have daily podcast episodes: short and current – such as NPR’s Up First app (10 minute rundown each weekday morning with the Morning Edition team).  The Daily Skimm is another great news source to receive the headlines of the day upon waking up to start your day.

Another idea that will also tickle your interest of other cultures is to read the news through the lense of another country. Part of the reason I enjoyed the news a bit more in England was the distance and perspective an outsider gave to the perceived pressing issues of the United States.

6. Set a time limit

One show I thoroughly enjoy each week is Sunday’s Weekend Edition on NPR: the puzzle with Will Shortz, the music and book interviews, as well as a glance at world and domestic news and politics. Also, CBS’s Sunday Morning with Jane Pauley. However, once I’ve heard or viewed them, the radio and television goes off and I enjoy my leisurely or project-driven day to do as I please without rachetting up the worry.

7. Satiate your need for learning with other non-news sources

As I mentioned at the top of the post, part of the reason I sought out the news was to continue my learning, but as I knew but didn’t apply, there are many other ways and sources to garner knowledge. Perhaps you have a list of blogs you read each morning or once a week, or maybe you view a particular show or public television program that tickles your fancy for travel or history or antiques or art or the list could go on for some time which means there is a wealth of ways we can welcome knowledge into our lives. Carve out time for these activities as they are a healthy choice for living well and staying informed.

8. Take action

Often part of the reason the abundance of news we receive overwhelms us is that we feel helpless. And while we may not be a politician or an individual who holds a seat in government at the moment, why not do something that supports the cause or causes you believe in. Begin by donating or volunteering your time, but in all sincerity, why not consider running for an office locally? Or if you are someone who prefers to stay behind the scenes, investigate who is running for offices in your local community, state or your state’s federally elected senate and representative seats and see how you can support them.

9. Find alternatives to replace previous news viewing/listening/reading moments

Classical music, walking, reading a different section of the newspaper, reading deeper more investigative articles rather than viewing snippets on the news, all of these are ideas I incorporate into my life and now I have added a few more.

I recently shared on Instagram Stories that I found the app I have been looking for for months: WRTI, a classical and jazz music station based in Philadelphia (an NPR affiliate). The primary reason I am most a fan of this app is that it has an alarm clock to enable me to wake up to classical music rather than the news radio app I used to use or a beeping sound (it also has a sleep timer). I tend to listen to classic music in the morning and jazz during my work day.

If you have found alternatives that are working for you, please do share, as each of us will design the balance of staying informed and reducing stress thereby elevating the overall quality of our lives in our own unique way, and the more ideas, the more options to see what might work best.

While my shift is fairly recent and I will continue to share my progress and the changes I observe, I have already noticed a return (or maintenance) of the lightness I so enjoyed while exploring and relaxing in the English countryside. I am certain we all can strike the right balance so long as we know how. And in so doing, continuing to fine tune the dial, we will find the precise spot that works best for us individually.

  ~SIMILAR POSTS FROM THE ARCHIVES YOU MIGHT ENJOY:

~A Thinking Life = A Happy Life

~Why Not . . . Spend Time in Nature?

~15 Everyday Habits to Live a Life of Contentment (episode #93)

  Petit Plaisir:

My Paris Kitchen: Recipes and Stories by David Lebovitz

~read this post by David of the process of My Paris Kitchen finally coming to publication

~Listen to my interview with David Leibovitz (episode #182) about his recent book L’Appart in which the purchase and renovation of his now Paris apartment which took place while he was trying to write and publish My Paris Kitchen.

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