#like. girl we’re just trying to get bestie on disability and going to work

[clanoffelidae]

Like two and a half month’s ago my roommate’s ex-friend told him to go kill himself so I went off on her and then we both blocked her and removed her from our lives, forgot about her within like two weeks because we have??? Other things to worry about??? but apparently we’ve been living rent free in her and her girlfriend’s heads since then since they both just spam called and texted us a few hours ago and were just. ????

You mean. The therapist that I’ve MET??? The one whom I’ve walked in during virtual sessions with to drop off meds I picked up while at the pharmacy??? Who prescribes all of said meds bc what fucking dealers do you have that hand out prozac???

Girlie what are you SAYING what world have you built in your heads these past two months like ???? 😭

[superhaught]

Sweetest Girl (Chapter Two)

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warning(s): discussion of disability

Word Count: 2200, Part 2/?

Author's Note: I was able to finish chapter 2! I'm sorry for the massive delay since positing any writing, it's been a time recently. I'll keep doing my best but pls don't hold it against me if I don't post for a while again. I still care about Regina so so much. Thank you to bestie @sapphicantics for helping me go back to this and reading it first :P

Summary: Reader goes over to Regina's house to work on some more chemistry lessons.

Part 1

Friday’s chemistry lecture was cut off by the dismissal bell and the teacher frustratingly called out as students were already busting through the door, “quiz on Monday! Don’t forget and study hard this weekend!” 

You were packing up your notes when five perfectly manicured fingernails rapped on the corner of your desk. 

You looked up and met the blonde's eyes. 

“So quiz on Monday, can I get some extra tutoring this weekend?” 

You nodded slowly, “do you want me to come to your place?” 

“I do.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t want -“ 

“I already told you, yes. Stop being so weird about it. Tomorrow. Come over around lunchtime. My mom will feed us then we can work.” 

You bit your lip and then nodded again, “okay.” 

Regina gave you her version of a smile and then flicked her hair behind her shoulder as she left the classroom. 

You saw that the teacher had been watching your exchange.

“It’s working,” they said, “whatever you’re doing. Her homework was better.” 

“You definitely can’t tell me that.” 

“Just keep it up. She’ll be okay.” 

You smiled and nodded, hugging your books to your chest and leaving the classroom. 

After a twenty-five minute walk, you were standing at the end of the driveway to the George residence. 

You looked up at the massive house in awe. It was clearly a new build. Likely custom-designed by the Georges. Two stories. Huge yard. You imagined an underground pool and a deck with a built-in, year round jacuzzi in the back. A movie theater and second kitchen in the basement. A yoga room with a Peleton for Ms. George. Master bath with a soaking tub. 

You were afraid to go in. 

You stood outside and stared for a minute longer before finally walking up the driveway (not made of asphalt or cement, but pristine white rocks). You walked past Regina’s Jeep, a Mercedes, and an Audi all parked (as well as a children’s Barbie Jeep abandoned in the lawn, belonging to Regina’s younger sister you assumed). 

You giggled at that. You imagined Regina either beaming with pride or fuming with rage at the idea of her little sister wanting a matching car to Regina. 

Taking a deep breath, you knocked on the front door and waited for a moment, hearing a faint “get the door!” from inside.

Regina opened the door, “hey, did you find parking on the street?” 

“Oh, I didn’t drive.”

“Someone dropped you off then? Do you have a ride home after?” 

You shook your head, “I walked.” 

“What the fuck?” 

A woman called out from inside the house, “Regina! Language!” 

Regina clenched her jaw and inhaled slowly through her nose, flaring her nostrils. 

“It’s not a big deal,” you responded quietly. 

Regina rolled her eyes, “I’ll drive you home when we’re done, Jesus Christ.” 

“You really don’t have to drive me home, it’s okay.” 

“Shut up, it’s literally nothing. Now come inside you weirdo.” 

You followed Regina in, and the interior of the house was even more grand than the exterior. 

You didn’t have much time to take it all in before Regina’s mom was pouncing on you and pulling you into a hug then holding your shoulders and examining you head to toe, “well aren’t you a cute little thing!? I love meeting Regina’s new friends.” 

“She’s my tutor mom.” 

“Cute and smart, then! Well I hope the two of you become friends, Regina needs good influences in her life.” 

“Mom.” 

Ms. George raised her hands in mock-surrender, “Sorry! I’m just trying to be helpful, my goodness.” 

You tried to force a smile and fidgeted with the zipper of your jacket awkwardly. 

“Did you make us snacks?” 

“Oh yes!” Ms. George trotted back into the kitchen and came back with a tray stacked with a variety of finger foods and fruity little drinks complete with excessive garnishes. She passed the tray to you, “here you ladies go. Study hard!” 

“Thanks,” Regina didn’t wait around any longer before starting up the staircase to the second floor and expecting you to follow behind.

“Um, it was nice meeting you!” You directed to Ms. George, “you have a beautiful home.” 

“Thank you sweetie-“ 

“Hurry up.” Regina cut her mom off while standing at the top of the steps with a hand on her hip.

You rushed up the rest of the steps and followed Regina into her room. She immediately went to her floor-length mirror and adjusted her hair while you set the tray of snacks down on her vanity. 

“Not there,” Regina snapped, as if it was obvious.

“Where then?” 

Regina pointed lazily toward the ottoman at the foot of her bed and you obeyed, setting the tray down and then helping yourself to a handful of homemade trail mix. 

Regina came over and sat down on her bed and grabbed a single celery stick to eat. 

You must have made a face that Regina noticed because she raised an eyebrow at you, “what?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Why are you making that face?” 

“Oh, nothing, I just don’t like celery.” 

“You don’t have to eat it.” 

“I know, Regina.” You could feel yourself shrinking as your shoulders slumped. 

“It’s like negative calories so.”

“Well, actually…” 

Regina narrowed her eyes at you.

“Nevermind. So, do you want to work on material for the quiz?” 

Regina threw herself backwards and collapsed into her duvet in exasperation, “ugggghhhh!” 

“That’s why you wanted me to come over, right?” 

“Well duh… I’m just tired.” 

“I’m sorry.”

Regina propped herself up on her elbows and looked at you, “for what?” 

“That you’re tired?” 

She scoffed, “you don’t need to be sorry about that. See? You’re too nice.” 

You shrugged, “I guess it’s just something people say.” 

“Oh? So you agree, then? That niceness is a facade that people use to disguise their true feelings?” 

You shook your head, incredulous, “I didn’t say that.”

“Are you really, actually sorry that I’m tired or are you just saying it, then?“ 

You took a beat to think and then answered emphatically, “I am actually sorry. It’s called empathy. I feel bad that you feel rundown, and if you aren’t up for studying today, I would understand.” 

She raised an eyebrow again in her classic fashion, “I guess I just really don’t understand that. Why would you feel bad that I’m tired? And why wouldn’t you be upset if I wasn’t in the mood to study after you put in the effort to walk all the way here?” 

“I don’t know why, that’s just how I feel. What should I say instead? I don’t care that you’re tired, suck it up I’m here to make you better at chemistry?” 

“Maybe you should,” Regina shrugged. 

You shook your head, “I don’t want to say that. That’s not helpful to anyone. Are you going to retain any of the content we go over if I push you to do it when you don’t feel good?” 

“How do you know I’m not lying or just complaining for the sake of it? Maybe I need to be pushed.”

“Fine, give me a reason then. Why are you tired?” 

Regina thought about it for a minute, then her voice came out surprisingly quiet, “you know the accident from last year? The bus thing?” 

You nodded. 

She sighed, “It’s been a long recovery. I don’t usually talk about it with anyone.” 

“You don’t have to talk about it with me if you don’t feel comfortable, but… I am here if you did want to. Talk about it, I mean.” 

Regina didn’t say anything. She started to pick at the skin around her fingernails. 

You recognized the behavior right away because you do it too. Without thinking, you moved to sit across from her on the bed and reached out, clasping your hand around hers. 

The blonde stared at you shocked. 

“Shit, I… I’m sor-“ you began, starting to pull away. 

She didn’t let you go, “It’s okay. Don’t apologize.” 

The gesture must have cracked her armor, if only a little. She shrugged her shoulders and explained, “the accident injured my neck and back so I’m doing physical therapy twice a week for that and I’ve been diagnosed with something called POTS. So my heart is all fucked up or something. I'm exhausted and in pain most of the time even though I'm taking like six different meds every day.” 

“That sounds really hard.”

“But I feel like…” her voice failed her. She frowned, cleared her throat, and started again, “I feel like I shouldn’t complain about it… wouldn’t be cute to bitch about it when everyone…” she lowered her head and stared at her comforter, “when everyone thinks I probably deserved it.” 

You frowned and squeezed her hand, “do you think you deserved to get hit by a bus?” 

“I don’t know. Maybe. It feels that way sometimes. Like I was supposed to learn some kind of lesson from it. Like I was supposed to suddenly be a better person and be grateful and be an inspiration or whatever. But that’s like some biblical bullshit. And I’m not a better person. I'm still just me but now my body doesn’t work and people don’t even bother pretending to like me anymore.” The dam had burst. The corners of her eyes started to sting with painful tears. “I’m not grateful. I don’t think what happened to me was an inspiration or whatever. I just wish I wasn’t sick and I wish that people didn’t expect anything from me.” With that, she retracted her hands from you, quickly wiped her face with her sleeves and she continued to look anywhere but right at you.

“Regina, thank you for sharing that with me. I want to help you as much as I can.”

“Why, though?”

“Because I want to.”

Regina met your eyes again, scrutinizing you. Trying to find deception that wasn’t there. 

When she finally gave up she just said, “I don’t understand you.”

You laughed, “I’ve gathered that.”

She smiled and then rolled her eyes.

“Hey, do me a favor, okay? Go change into something comfy and then lets just watch something for a bit. Whatever you want. We can recharge a little and then see about studying, and if it doesn’t happen, it’s okay.”

“Are you being serious?”

“Yes.”

Regina breathed a sigh of relief and then visibly relaxed before getting up and walking to her large closet. She came back out a few minutes later, having changed into baggy sweats. She wordlessly sat down at her vanity, tied her hair up in a loose bun, cleaned her makeup off and then replaced her contact lenses with glasses. 

You smiled to yourself while watching her. She caught you looking over in the mirror and you quickly looked away before seeing her reaction if any. 

When she came back to the bed, laptop in hand, she said, “I’d usually never let anyone see me like this.”

“Well, then I consider myself lucky. Unless you don’t plan on letting me leave here alive now that I’ve seen you ‘like this,’” putting air quotes around your words.

“Cheeky…” Regina smirked and sat back down on the bed next to you, constructing a pile of pillows against the headboard to lean on, “you wouldn’t know until it was too late, though.”

You smiled as she continued.

“I guess I just don’t really care right now.”

“Well, I’m glad that you feel at ease with me. Not that you’re any less pretty than before.”

“You liar!”

“What? I’m not lying!”

“I’m not pretty right now. I’m all puffy and my hair is gross and I have my stupid glasses on and I’m wearing my mom’s old college sweatshirt.”

You shrugged, “you are pretty, Regina. You have freckles, I didn’t know that. And your hair looks cute like this, the little strands framing your face… I don’t know, you look pretty to me.”

Regina narrowed her eyes at you and then shook her head, “okay, whatever. Let’s just… watch something now.” She redirected her attention to opening up streaming on her laptop, “have you ever seen Real Housewives?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Oh my god. Okay I’m catching up on New Jersey right now, I’ll try to fill you in.”

You smiled and nodded. 

She started the show and slid a little closer to you so that she could rest the laptop on both of your laps. 

You ended up watching the show all evening, only interrupted by Ms. George bringing some dinner upstairs for you both along with Regina’s meds.

“Sweetheart, you look… comfortable.” Ms. George remarked, her tone unmistakably judgemental. 

The corners of Regina’s mouth downturned just slightly.

“Yeah you know we just decided to have a relaxing night. No need to be all done up.” You smiled, “thank you so much for bringing us food, Ms. George.” 

The woman was thrown off and you felt victorious.

“Oh, of course. I’ll… go get you girls some popcorn.” Ms. Geroge left and shut the door behind her. 

Regina released a breath she was holding and whispered, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For… for what you just did.”

You shrugged and took a bite of food, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Regina’s eyebrows raised and then she just laughed in disbelief before turning the show back on and saying, “you continue to surprise me…”

Next Chapter

[disappointingcabbage]

TMAGP 19 thoughts, spoilers under the cut

Celia why do you have so much paper, what in the hell are you making that many photocopies of?

ALCHEMY??????

She’s looking into alchemical explanations for universe hopping, I think (transference stuff)

Celia why are you looking at incomplete transference stuff??? What was missing when you universe hopped????

Sam found alchemy stuff when looking into the Magnus Institute, which is very much consistent with the ARG

“What’s got you looking into this?” “Just curious” *immediate glitch* yeah Celia we’re all aware that this research is way more than just curiosity bestie

Sam is doing what’s best for his personal safety but not what’s best for narrative flow (ditching the institute stuff). Good for him tbh.

old ass statement this time (1684), I’m surprised it’s Chester reading it instead of Augustus tbh

A regrettable anti Newtonian PROTOCOL????

yooooo this dude is on a first name basis with the gravity man himself sir Issac Newton

IS NEWTON THE PROTOCOL VERSE’S JONAH MAGNUS??? or perhaps Robert Smirke

Protocol against the entirety of London???? Destruction of knowledge?? DREAD EMISSION????

Did the people of this universe just straight up know about the fears in the 1600s? Was it then covered up???

Looks like this universe’s Newton got into alchemy and letter writer guy Does Not Like That

As an aspiring biologist I’m curious as to how exactly the “vegetative propagation of metals” would even work, seems like a funky little experiment

Awww Issac has a disabled dog!! Hell yeah animal rescue

“Yo what’s that big ass glowing flask?” “Oh that? Yeah it’s no big deal, just the philosopher’s stone in liquid form” bro WHAT

I sincerely hope that that means protocol verse Issac Newton is still alive and that we get to hear his voice in canon. I think that would be Neat.

bro has a tiny tree growing in a flask. That’s awesome. Why is letter guy upset at this? Is my brain refusing to see some horrific implications here? probably lol

I cannot get over the writer of this statement just casually calling Newton “Issac”, actually (might be because my dad is a physicist so Gravity Man is a fucking legend in my household)

ohhhh vegetative propagation of metals. The tree is made of mineral/metal

“I made a metal tree wanna eat its fruit?” “what???? No???” “Too late it’s already in my hand dude you’ve gotta try it”

NO DONT GIVE IT TO YOUR DOG

fullmetal alchemist war flashbacks

dog is now an alchemy plant/dog pokemon what the fuck

The dog now has human intelligence, apparently

Oh it’s reversible. Dog is dog again. That’s so mean to the dog why would you do that to him???? Dogs don’t deserve the burden of human comprehension they are too babey

“Are the computers listening to us?” Daaaaamn Sam caught on fast

Alice, bestie, ignoring the obvious supernatural elephant in the room won’t make it go away I fear

I’m scared Sam is just going to stop confiding in people at this point and then get into danger alone. That ain’t good.

Alice seems to be getting a stupid amount of JMJ errors. Maybe it’s because the Jon, Martin, and Jonah are all arguing over which cases to give her lmao

lmao Lena’s basically just telling Gwen to put her big girl pants on and deal. Iconic.

oooh Lena lore, she used to be the externals liaison.

COLIN MY BELOVED

bros holed up in his house, probably paranoid as shit

Definitely paranoid as shit, he knows the phones are listening and wants to yeet it in a fish tank

Colin’s got alchemy on the brain too, apparently

Poor Alice, she just wants her friends to be okay and they’re all spiraling.

[ilickedanenvelopeandilikedit]

bestie how did it go???

Omg bro it was insane

So like I think I did okay, like maybe a four??? Idk

BUT THE FUCKING PROCTOR

not to make this long but omg I have to tell you about this guy.

So a couple weeks back, in my English class we had this sub and he wasted 15 minutes of class telling us that if we couldn’t sign our names neatly that we had no respect for ourselves and would never get a job. This was not on the plan our teacher left and like made it so we had less time to get our actual work done.

So of course, who does the school department pick to run the AP exam?

This half senile motherfucker.

So he starts reading the instructions for how we’re supposed to write out our names and full out the codes and nobody can hear him and he’s fucking it all up. Like that’s not just me being biased, the lady who runs the AP stuff at my school was visibly taking deep breaths and getting frustrated. She tells him what to do and when we start the multiple choice section she leaves us with him.

Then we get to the short answer questions and she told us last week that we would be able to get extra paper if we needed it but he was saying over and over again “no! It’s plain black and white on this paper, they are supposed to be brief!” So we make him call Larson (the lady who’s running it) and it turns out that yeah, it did say that we could have extra paper if we needed it, HE JUST DIDNT READ DOWN ENOUGH

(This man frustrated me so much, I’m sorry this is so long but I am venting to everyone I know about him)

So anyway we get our break, and he just allows like 20 of us to walk outside by ourselves we could’ve left if we’d wanted to like  some kids from other classes mixed in with us, it was a shit show. We ended up coming back in later than we were supposed but then he said we could go to the bathroom and when I got back from the bathroom there were three other people locked out of the testing room.

So we eventually get back in and we’re about to start the essay part. He could not get the times right. Like I think it was supposed to be reading time starts at 11:45 and writing ends at 1:30. He could not do this math. 

So during our reading time, he writes on the board that we ended at 1. Someone said that wasn’t right. He goes back and tries to figure it out. Then he writes 1:15. So I speak up and I’m like “no that’s not right.”

And this motherfucker is like “yOu’Re iN thE foUrTh rOw wiTh a MaSk oN I cAn’t heAr YoU�� in a tone that made it sound like he was annoyed that I was wearing a mask (my brother has a disability that could make it bad if he got sick, like girl what…) and my friend who was also wearing a mask felt the same way when he spoke to her.

So he ends up writing on the board 1:25 which I’m pretty sure wasn’t right but this was after he had been trying to talk to us about the time WHILE WE WERE TRYING TO WORK ON OUR ESSAYS. 

He also had a timer going off for a few minutes and did nothing about it which was annoying.

He did not say anything about “hey reading time is over now” or “hey you should be about done with your dbq by now” 

AND THEN HE GOT A PHONE CALL. HE ANSWERED THE PHONE CALL. AND WE COULD NOT HEAR THIS BITCH WHEN HE WAS GIVING US THE INSTRUCTIONS BUT WE ALL HEARD HIM LOUDLY TELLING HIS BUDDY THAT “no [he’s] not busy, what’s up with you” LIKE WE WERE ALL DEATH GLARING HIM, MY FRIEND A FEW SEATS AWAY WAS LAUGHING THEIR ASS OFF, THIS WAS DURING OUR ESSAY WRITING TIME.

Anyway he gets off the phone and people are and throwing pens at each other and he of course does nothing. Boys next to me keeps saying penis while I’m rereading my essays.

Um so I really hope nobody tells college board or else all our results won’t count 💅

Sorry this was so long, tl;dr: our proctor was so bad this was absolutely horribly done

[hateswifi]

Rising from the Ashes: Of Graduation and Growth

So this is Part Thirteen here is to my Master List and Part Twelve.

——————————————

Marinette started growing after her first commission with the help of Diana, Lucky Spot became a headquarters for Nette's clothes. She did originals for celebrities only really unless asked for a special event such as a wedding and only for a good price and she couldn't be swamped in commission. Bruce offered her a small part of Wayne Enterprises as a factor because she was using all earth-friendly material and was good publicity. She, at first, refused but unable to keep up with demands accepted Bruce's offer. There was a public announcement and signing of the contract between Wayne Enterprises and Nette, but being dead, she sent Diana as her representative to sign for her. She was well known throughout America and Asia with popularity moving towards Europe. She was getting better known as Nette even more popular than MDC had ever been.

This made knowing Nette a perfect lie for Lila without Marinette around to try and expose her, little did Lila know her Castle of Lies would soon fall. That's how the announcement of a field trip to Gotham happened a couple of weeks before graduation; they were to leave the day of graduation. This is the field trip plan she had come up with before she 'died', but Lila took credit for it all because she became Class President after Marinette's death. Chloe and Adrien didn't bother to pay attention to where the group was going. They didn't realize or care where the class was going because they were leaving to go on tour from graduation. Well first they were going to visit Marinette she was going to reveal herself soon, after coming up with a cover story if she was ever asked about her 'death'.

Adrien graduated valedictorian, which Lila cried about due to it being unfair with her 'disability', Alya threw a fit for her 'bestie'. There was nothing they could change though because Gabriel would have the school board's heads. After the graduation caps been thrown and pictures had been taken, the 4 Outlaws travel to see their dear friend once again, little did they know the class would soon be following them the next day. Lila spread more lies about knowing the Wayne family and her childhood sweetheart Damian along with her best friend Nette.

Back in Gotham with Marinette, she was getting ready for the release of the line 'Butterfly' and the gala that was to follow the next day. Her friends were coming to watch the release and they offered to model because they inspired most of the outfits. She had been spending extra time at Wayne Enterprises, one so Damian didn't murder anyone --a lot was going on-- and two to monitor the production to be released. All the outfits in the actual show were handmaid by Marinette and would be auctioned off at the end to give to a charity.

There was a mix of excited chatter on the plan with the class."I can't wait to get that interview with your boyfriend," Alya exclaimed. oblivious to how irritated the Italian girl had become. "Also I can't believe you managed to get us a tour of Wayne Enterprises, which now includes Nette's factory, along with her fashion show AND the gala. Maybe you can get me an interview with Nette being her best friend. Also, is Damian asking you to the gala?"

"I worked extra hard to get us this trip. Something our old Class President couldn't do. I don't think my Damiboo will do an interview he is shy, so I don't know if we'll be able to see him. I don’t know if he’s taking me to the gala, he’s shy," Lila lied, crossing her arms letting a tear fall. "I still can't believe they had the nerve to tell me I am not in first class."

"Ya girl, I can't believe they would treat, Ladybug's best friend, Jagged Stone's niece, and Damian's Wayne's girlfriend that way." Alya huffed. "Hey, you should ask Damian to sue because you've been treated so badly."

"I'll ask him when I see him," Lila said, putting in headphones while thinking to herself. 'Maybe if I sleep I won't have to deal with this obnoxious girl.'

The plane ride lasted eight hours, which Lila had to listen to Alya babble, about only god know what. When they had gotten outside it was raining and the class tried to hail a taxi.

"Lila. I thought you made plans for how we would travel," Ms. Bustier asked, trying to sound nice through gritted teeth. A car drove by and splashed Lila and Alya, the girls shrieked getting covered in the dirty street water.

"I swear I did," Lila explained, now dripping in the water she started to cry. "They must have been some mistake, they must have canceled on me."

"It's fine Lila, the hotel isn't too far right?" Alya comforted rubbing the top of her back.

"It's about a three-mile walk from here," Lila whimpered between tears.

"We can walk, right Ms. Bustier?" Alya said, hugging the poor Italian.

"I suppose, but Lila you have to make accommodations for tomorrow's tour," Ms. Bustier said as she got the kids to follow her.

Luka was looking out the window of the Outlaw’s limo when he saw his sister's unfortunate class. "Guys! look. Pullover," Luka said looking away from the window.

"Who's there?" Chloe asks moving towards where Luka had been looking. Before Chloe could argue with Luka's decision, he was opening the door.

"You guys need a ride," Luka asked, looking specifically on his sister, they hadn't been on good terms since he had been kicked from Kitty Section.

"Why would we want to hang out with bullies like you!?" Alya exclaimed as Lila was about to accept the offer.

"Juleka are you staying warm and dry?" Luka asked, ignoring Alya.

"She is fine," Alya cut in again.

"It's fine Alya, they're trying to make up for their mistakes," Lila said, stepping forward with her bag following behind her.

"Ya know what," Chloe says, angrily. "We are not bullies and you're all in for a surprise."

"How many of you want a ride from us 'bullies'?" Kagami asks.

"If you're good with Adrien and Luka, you're good in my book," Juleka says, pushing past her classmates and got into the limo. Alix and Kim get in the dry limo while everyone else agreed with Lila, the liar, walk to the hotel in the cold rain.

As the limo drove away Lila started crying, "That was supposed to be our limo, they must have bribed the company to give it to them."

"Those bastards!" Alya screamed and stormed faster towards the hotel.

Back in the limo "So you guys know the truth about Lila's lie?" Kagami asks leaning into the seat.

"Yes, we've known for a while, but couldn't do anything in school," Kim says.

"But now since we've graduated we're done putting up with her bull," Alix huffs, crossing her arms.

"Besides we know Marinette planned this trip and there's no way that we're going to let her work go to waste by Lila's lies," Juleka says, putting her head on her brother's shoulder.

"We're actually on our way to see her," Adrien says sleepily into Kagami's shoulder.

"What... What do you mean?" Kim asks sitting forwards.

"Ignore him," Kagami says, elbowing him.

"No is she alive? We thought she.... she well ya know," Alix said.

"Nah she just moved," Adrien said with a big yawn.

"Shut your boyfriend up Gami," Chloe said harshly.

"She's alive?!!" Juleka said whipping her head forward.

"You can't say anything. She came here for a reason, heck she probably forgot about your trip or she would've had Damian, her boyfriend, cancel the tours," Luka said, shaking his head.

"She's alive, but why did she leave?" Kim asks heartbroken.

"It was kind of a rash decision on her, but she is our friend and we were supporting her," Chloe explains.

"She'll probably explain everything if you run into her at the factory. If not we'll explain everything later," Luka said, looking out the window.

"Looks like this is your destination," Kagami said, looking down at her ringing phone. "Hey, Mar. Yes, we're on our way. We got stuck in traffic we'll be there soon." Luka started opening the door for the group to exit as Gami hung up. "Jagged is waiting for us. She wants to go through fittings before dinner tonight."

"Well sorry this was cut short, but we'll see you soon," Luka said through the open window after he closed the door.

"You may go," Chloe said to the driver. Luka put up the window as the small group headed into the hotel. The Outlaws decided not to tell Marinette about her class and their field trip because she didn't need any more stress.

————————————————————

Tag list (Open):

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[chaoslordjoe]

RWBY - Do I Ship It #2? Ruby Rose

I’ve decided to continue this whole shebang with going over ships for individual characters each time. And for this one, we’re looking at our favorite cooking-deepthroating reaper, Ruby Rose...That may be one of my favorite character descriptions I’ve ever typed.

With introductions outta the way, let’s talk some Ruby ships.

White Rose

kinda leaves me indifferent?

overrated

would read a fic about it

Ideally, White Rose has become one of those ships that half of the FNDM loves to hate. But me, I’m not as triggered by it, let alone nowhere near as angered by it’s presence simply because it’s not Bumbleby.

Unlike BB, in which it’s presence makes me wanna slug my screen every time I see a comment thread screeching high praise about it, I can look at White Rose and just be more like: “Eh. It’s okay.” Simply because I have seen WR content that I enjoy, and that at least many WR shippers know when to shut up when they’re called out unlike Wasps.

Really, a lot of the content has a lot heart put into it to where I really can’t get mad at it. I know it’s a WLW ship. I know that’s become a thing to generally hate among RWBY fans. But I do think that WR is the lesser of two evils between that and BB not because I have a lot of friends who ship it, but because I think folks crap on it way too much compared to the demon that BB has become.

Am I saying there aren’t toxic WR fans still around? Hell no. They need to be called out on it, too. But I’m also generally more relaxed about the ship. Nothing major really.

Ladybug

I SHIP IT

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

underrated

hELL YES

Ladybug has become a recent addition to my ship list a while back. But I’ve fallen head over heels for it in such a short amount of time.

Even many folks I’ve spoken to who tend to gag at the mention of WLW ships in a fandom as egregious as RWBY’s agree that the Bugs are really harmless given soft the content of this ship often is. I’m not saying that Ladybug is all “wee-hee-we’re-a-couple-of-happy-go-lucky-dorks” because that would make it unoriginal and boring to read in many cases.

No, the reason I’ve grown to adore Ladybug so much is because I’m one of those who parrots how much of a missed opportunity (like the show is as a frigging whole) how many interactions there could be between Ruby and Blake.

Why wouldn’t they? They’re both into fantasy stories, both have darkened color schemes, and share some general views on why they fight. Really, Ladybug is just a good way for me to fill the void of just how much Rooster Teeth doesn’t give a fuck about how to organize their characters properly?

Volume 5 gets Freezerburn, and not onwards? Come on, RT.

But before I end up turning this into a rwde post, let’s just move onto the next ship.

Nuts & Dolts

I SHIP IT

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

Soulmates

I WOULD DIE FOR IT OKAY

Yeah this one was pretty obvious. But who cares?! I frigging adore Nuts & Dolts.

Let me just be clear in saying that I can ship it platonically/romantically, simply because I love the bond that Ruby and Penny share. They’re both hyperactive, kindhearted and strong-willed girls with a penchant for bladed weaponry and wanting to make the world a better place for everyone.

This initially made N&D into a guilty pleasure ship for me. But over time, I just couldn’t resist or get mad at it because I love how soft it feels. Same reason as Ladybug for the most part. But overall, I like N&D because of just how much soul there is between two people who were born differently with a set of powers that aren’t what you’d call “ordinary”.

As someone who’s been called “unique” or other labels with the disability I have, I usually find it very pretentious and downright grating to see stories that are supposed to be uplifting about being born in a different manner because that can be really damn annoying after a while.

Yeah, stuff like disability or other stuff is under-represented in pop culture. But often it’s portrayed in a very “Hollywood” fashion even if it’s not a work from that culture and work mindset.

I’m not saying N&D is one of those “unique” portrayals, but as something that shows what happens when two saviors who wanted a normal life have someone in each other that they can trust and even love for their shared experiences of being born differently.

Which is why I’ve grown to accept Ruby and Penny as the popular fan portrayal of being girlfriends or platonic friends. They have so much in common, which makes it that much more endearing for me personally.

Okay. Those are some Ruby/Other girl ships outta the way. Now let’s discuss some Ruby/guy ships...Here’s where it gets a little odd.

Lancaster

BROTP

overrated

no thanks

Oh boy. I’m probably gonna get some flak for this entry...

Let me just be clear that this is a post that is NOT meant to attack any particular shippers. This is me stating what I feel about certain ships and me occasionally talking about how I think they would turn out. 

It’s not my headcanon interpretations, per se. But instead it’s more how I picture it based on my experience with viewing relationships in my own life before I started discussing fandom ships.

Now that I have that out of the way, let’s discuss Ruby/Jaune.

When I first started watching RWBY, my first ship, like many others was Arkos (more on that when I cover Jaune). I felt that Pyrrha was just the right fit for a lovable dweeb like him with how it helped kick-start his character development and the framework for how he would improve himself overall.

Granted, I wasn’t really expecting Arkos to be canon since Pyrrha had died in V3. It was a tragic outcome for a ship that had so much buildup. And most of the FNDM agreed that Jaune needed a hug along with his friends to help him through it.

When I started to hear about the fact that Jaune was shipped with other girls in the main cast, I wasn’t really shocked since White Knight was already fairly popular. But when I found out about Lancaster, it was like: “Wait a second, people actually ship him with Ruby?”

Was more confusion than astonishment, to be honest. I didn’t really think that it would’ve been fitting despite how close and similar both team leaders were. But I decided to bite the bullet and give it a try with reading a couple of Lancaster works.

I got bored.

I’m not so much angry whenever I hear about Lancaster as I am just not impressed by how much fanon works recycle many tropes and plot elements.

Ruby is secretly in love with Jaune.

Jaune does something adorkable or manly which attracts Ruby.

Ruby makes/attempts to make a move on him with some crazy or titillating way that, while in-character for her, has been repeated one times too many in this or other ships featuring her.

Jaune is generally being a good boi throughout. I like Jaune, but I feel that he’s put in too many fanfics in which he’s overly good and pure. Again. It’s fitting for him, but sometimes a bit of difference in fan interpretation is nice. Make him angry, have him lash out at his friends at times. Just don’t make him a “perfect” boyfriend.

Both dorks often have to hide their relationship because of the possibility of Pyrrha being jealous, Yang going apeshit, or other characters reacting the way they do which is often buzzwords in a fic like that.

Lancaster shippers, I am not attacking you since this is your thing. If so, fine. But it’s not mine as I am giving an attempt to give constructive criticism about some of the ships listed here while talking about ships I like to make these posts all about even ground.

I prefer to see Ruby and Jaune as besties. Hell. I prefer to see them more like siblings considering how much Jaune acted like a big brother to Ruby on the road to Mistral with how Yang was bedridden with depression in V4. I also think that Jaune needs a friend right now rather than a love interest. The same could be said for a lot of characters right now, but that’s a different topic.

My biggest criticism for LC is that while I understand the similarities that they share, it’s the whole “opposite-gender-leads-fall-in-love” trope. This trope can be done right *coughRENORAcough* but is put in so many works that I’m not one of those fans who’s impressed with it.

The ship isn’t original, but it’s nothing to make me wanna rage-post like I’m Keemstar on Red Bull or the like. And I know people who are into it, to which I tell them: Good for all of you. It’s simply not my cup of tea.

Rosegarden

would read a fic about it

meh

not really my thing

Oh god, how I wish it wasn’t harvest season!

Kidding. Kidding. Rosegarden is legit, and all my friends in the group who ship it are wonderful people.

Another ship that I can’t really get angry at since compared to other ships that cover things like young love or ships of people who were born differently (see my Nuts & Dolts entry), RG is pretty fucking harmless and I can tolerate it more even though I’m not into it.

While I understand why it seems hypocritical of me to share and repost stuff related to RG on occasion, this is simply because I have reason to share it based on how much I’ve interacted with shippers and how I’ve actually had productive discussions with them outside of their ship.

It’s the community which I like more than the ship because of how much more chill they are. But there’s also a big reason why I know that some people crap on this one.

Ozpin.

Dude, if I had a Dollar for every “RG-is-pedophilia-because-Oscar-is-Ozpin’s-puppet” fallacy that was posted I wouldn’t be needing a stimulus check. Let me explain to y’all why that’s bullshit.

(RWDE mode online)

Is Ozpin eons of years old? Yes. He’s from Humanity 1.0 and was thrown into the bodies of men in the modern world in his war against Salem. It’s a rough situation with a lot of baggage to any relationship he puts up or wishes to even build-up and I don’t think it should be swept under the rug because there’s a lot of stuff that should be brought up about the guy.

Is Ozpin intervening on any potential interaction between Ruby and Oscar? No. Canon or no, Oz has been a neutral party in whatever interactions the two kids have because it’s not really his business. Do you honestly believe that if Ozpin would be the kind to boss his host around that he would attempt to butt in on their friendship?

As an Oz critic, I can say that while I understand both interactions, I draw the line at this ship being considered pedophilia.

I mean, come on! The FNDM ships Ruby with villains like Roman, Cinder and Salem, who are adults when she’s a teenager! And suddenly it’s okay to claim pedophilia just because Ozpin is present?! ARE YOU HIGH?

If we’re going with that logic, fine, just have Ozpin ascend from his brain after Salem is 86′d, THEN we can have a development in RG’s friendship whether it’s romantic or not. But leave the fans of this pairing out of it!

(RWDE mode offline)

The reason I don’t ship Rosegarden is because I’m not a fan of the whole “young love” trope either. I wouldn’t mind it so much if Oscar wasn’t relegated to a support role due to being an Oz host and he had more screen time rather than the old wizard.

Maybe I’m just too cynical about stuff like this to really care. But the point is, I can’t get mad at this ship either and I’m willing to read up on it in small doses.

Strawbana

I ship it

CUTENESS OVERLOAD

the sexiest pair

we need more of it

underrated

Sun Wukong, you magnificent monkey bastard! You always seem to brighten my day whenever I’m looking through critical discussions related to this show.

Much as I love BlackSun, I’m definietly curious to learn more about other ships involving my homeboy here. Solar Flare, I also like. But Sun/Ruby? Thank you sir, may I have another!

Ugh. Can’t believe I just quoted Animal House to describe my love for this painfully underrated ship. Somebody get me some soap...

Other than their VAs being married in real life, I like Strawbana/Red Sun the same reason as Nuts & Dolts with this being a ship that features two extremely upbeat characters finding love in one another with just how much they kick ass for the reasons of just being good people.

Kinda/sorta the only straight Ruby ship I’m into just because of how much they could rub off on one another, and how much I’d love to see them interact more in canon material. Not just the show but any other tie-in stuff.

Next time, we cover Weissu.

[mcutrio]

Bar Night [11]

Bar Night [11]

Tags: @buckys-little-monster @imaginesofeverykind​

“You awake,” Thor smiled, standing at the foot of the bed in new clothing as Kat groaned to herself and rubbed her eyes. It took her a moment to adjust before she remembered that they were watching a movie before everything turned to blackness, meaning she must’ve passed out halfway through.

“Augh, good morning,” she greeted, running her fingers through her hair and cracking her neck. “God, I have the worst neck ache.”

“I did try not to disturb you in your slumber,” Thor smiled.

“About that,” Kat sat upright, “I’m so sorry I fell asleep, I totally didn’t mean to--”

“It’s fine,” Thor beamed, “you are quite peaceful when you sleep.”

“As opposed to when I’m awake?” Kat groaned, rubbing her tired eyes before standing up and snatching her phone. “I am starving.”

“As am I. Fortunately they’ve already served breakfast,” Thor announced.

Kat brushed her fingers through her hair, realising she must’ve missed the morning call for breakfast. “Shall we go, then?”

“We shall,” Thor agreed, gesturing for her to leave first.

The two rejoined the rest of the team, and Tony immediately pulled his shades down onto his nose as he paused, staring at the pair with an incredulous, humoured expression.

“And what have you two been up to, then?” He questioned, the lilt in his tone showing that he already had an idea of what he thought they’d been doing.

“Sleeping,” Kat shot back, grabbing a cereal box before he could say anything else. She sat herself down between Tabitha and Steve, who immediately turned to her and smiled.

“A win,” he repeated quietly, and Kat socked him in the shoulder so much so that he dropped the bagel in his hand, though he daresn't say a word to her as he stifled his laugh.

“Is everyone coming out tonight?” Nat suddenly questioned, taking a slug of coffee.

“Out?” Kat asked, confused.

Tabitha swallowed a bite of toast. “Yeah, the other night when you were busy with Thor we all decided that we were going out for drinks tonight.”

“Alright,” Kat said.

“So… as I’m not hearing any screams of protest, I’ll take that as a yes,” Natasha smiled, putting her mug down on the marble counter.

“What’s on the agenda today, bestie?” Court shot at Steve, who seemed unfazed by the nickname she gave him. Though confused at the terminology, the two girls decided not to question Courtenay upon it, just as the super soldier seemed to be doing. What Court says, goes.

“Spar day,” he nodded. “I think it’s time we get some combat training in, especially for the twins. They’re inexperienced.”

“When you’re as fast as I am there’s no need for fancy punches and kicks, Mr Rogers,” Pietro grinned, biting down into a green, shiny apple. “And my sister can move things with her mind. You’d never get a hand on her.”

“It happens, trust me,” Tabitha’s brows shot up as she poured more orange juice into her glass. “It’s better if you’re both prepared. Who knows how effective Strucker’s experiments were, anyway? What if your powers are only temporary?”

“Then you will not need us,” Pietro argued, causing Tabitha to roll her eyes.

“All I’m saying is that learning how to punch your way out of a situation is a good idea instead of just relying on your… powers,” Tabitha explained.

“She’s right,” Steve agreed. “Be ready. Training starts in twenty minutes,” he finished, dumping his plate into the sink before leaving the room.

Kat rolled her eyes before looking at Thor, who had his usual plate of pop tarts in front of him. “Did you hear? You’re partnering with me for sparring.”

“Oh, yes. It was my idea,” Thor told her nonchalantly.

Kat was taken aback. “Oh, okay then.”

Tabitha stood to her feet after slamming her empty cup of juice down. “Right. Better get ready then. You coming?”

Court, Kat and Bucky followed close behind, the rest of the team finishing off their meals. They separated into their designated rooms whilst getting ready, though Buck followed Tabitha.

“What are you doing?” She questioned, noticing he had followed her inside as she rummaged through her drawer for workout clothes.

He came up behind her, wrapping his hands around her torso as he lay his head on her shoulder. “Nothin’… keep doing what you’re doing.”

“It’s hard when you’re holding me like this,” she smiled, plucking his arms from her waist and turning to face him,  pressing a kiss against his lips immediately. “Save it for later, gosh.”

He smiled against her cheek, placing a kiss there quickly before stepping back from her. He cleared his throat after flushing from the close proximity, then promising that he would see her later as he left to go change.

“Hurry up, Tabs,” Court said, knocking her door a few minutes later. Tabitha tied her hair up into a ponytail before bounding out, grinning, being greeted by her two friends.

“I’m ready, I’m ready,” she breathed, cracking her fingers. “Let’s go.”

Kat tucked away her mobile as the three of them walked, turning up last to the gym as per usual. Steve, waiting for them somewhat impatiently, clapped his hands together to grab everyone's attention as he started the session.

“Grab your partners,” he said, watching as everyone shuffled to their designated partners. Courtenay was teamed with Tabitha, the twins with one another and Kat with Thor. “Now follow me,”

Steve demonstrated the jab-jab block grapple pattern he wanted them to follow and then would allow for free-form sparring to see what everyone was capable of. The experienced ones in the team were able to execute the simple task easily, while Pietro and Wanda lagged behind before perfecting their form.

Afterwards, the partners were ordered to ‘take down’ one another, and whoever was first successful would be the ‘winner’ despite that there was no real reward other than pride, perhaps.

Thor stood over Kat, having knocked her on her back.

“I think we’ve proven who’s stronger,” Thor teased.

Kat then twisted her legs around his feet so that he fell to the ground, too.

“Call it a tie.” She smirked.

Meanwhile, Tabitha and Courtenay stood solid, locked arms, unable to move the other. With their equal training, they found it difficult to outsmart their opponent, though eventually, Courtenay twisted her elbows until the pain caused Tabitha to fall to her knees, though she disabled Courtenay’s locked knees until they were both on that mat, too.

“Good session today, guys,” Steve said after another hour of sparring, “I expect you to be better tomorrow.”

They all filtered out of the gym, immediately running for a shower. As soon as the trio had showered, they ordered themselves a few pizzas for lunch, so that if they decided to drink lots later that night, they had a full stomach to do it on.

“Do you ever think about the others?” Tabitha wondered out loud, her eyes dragging over to Courtenay as they dug into their mozzarella pizza.

Kat’s expression deadpanned as she realised what her friend was hinting at before she nodded. “All the time. You?”

“Yeah, it’s hard not to,” Tabitha agreed, placing her slice down back onto her plate and rubbing her hands on her jeans. “How are we the only ones that survived?”

“They weren’t as friendly with the ones who didn’t cooperate,” Courtenay said.

It was horrifying, really. Though the girls worked together, there were many times in their life that they were separate. They were teamed together when they were ten years old, and they honestly had no idea how they would work in the world without one another. Before that, they were trained in physical combat, where the strongest out of the bunch were plucked from the academy and used for experimentation. It was exciting for them at the time because it was seen as an honour and taken with great gratitude, but now they see that they were mere puppets in a far bigger show than they’d ever thought could’ve been booked.

Courtenay was one of the few who was taken from her family. Usually, you were born into the business or taken as a first-born from a family who required protection or weapons in exchange. Both Kat and Tabitha were part of this ordeal; they had no idea who their parents were, but they knew that they were of importance. But Courtenay’s parents owed a debt, and because of her situation, she was one of the few who did resist, which resulted in a far more inhumane form of training.

“I wish I knew my parents,” Kat sighed, where a solemn Tabitha agreed with a quiet nod as she took another bite of pizza.

“I wish I didn’t, sometimes,” Courtenay added quietly. “It’s hard to think about.”

“There has to be a reason that they let us live, don’t you think?” Tabitha wondered suddenly. “Surely they know where we are, and what we’re doing. I can’t ever imagine that escaping their grip would be as easy as it was, yet here we are; unscathed. How does SHIELD not even notice? Hydra was compromised.”

“Well, with Rumlow dead, there’s not much that they have on us,” Kat nodded, “we were kept off of the files, right? He’s basically the information bank.”

“Yeah, so SHIELD couldn’t get their paws on us,” Courtenay said. “It’s funny; we worked under their noses for so long. What if they find out?”

“I don’t think they will, honestly,” Tabitha shrugged. “Hydra is dead. That’s not our life anymore.”

“But it was,” Kat pulled her knees to her chest. “I mean, it’s a big ordeal. We used to work on the opposite end of the stick and preach that freedom was the world's ‘greatest lie’. That’s everything that SHIELD fights for.”

“But as soon as we got a taste of that freedom, our opinion switched,” Courtenay finished. “Surely our decision speaks louder volumes than where we came from, who we worked for. Right?”

And while it was mundane and somewhat melancholic to think about their past, where they had come from, and their rash decision to help the Avenger’s rather than kill them, they knew that better things were to come. You can only go up after human experimentation, after all.

“Right, instead of all this talk, how about we get dressed for tonight?” Tabitha finally added.

Kat, through a mouthful of pizza, agreed. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“Time to get fucking wasted,” Courtenay whooped, standing to her feet. “I don’t know about you guys but I was a little underwhelmed with the alcohol from that party the other week.”

“Unlike you, we don’t intend to get absolutely fucked every time we have a drink,” Kat grinned.

Courtenay put her hand on her hip. “It helps drown out the voices, love.”

“You sure that’s not just you talking to yourself again?” Tabitha smirked.

“Shut up and get dressed,” Court shock back, shooing the two girls out of her room so that they could all change.

When the three of them were ready, they walked out to the main entrance of the headquarters where they found their vehicle waiting. They’d be driving with Bucky and Steve whilst everybody else carpooled with either Tony or Nat. Tony had reserved a few tables in a bar for them to hand out in; it was a private, secluded and somewhat extravagant, but it would do for a social outing.

“This place is fancy,” Kat commented, digging her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket. Tony took them all to their private booth, where they had their own bar, own servers, own privacy. It seemed a little much, but nobody was about to complain.

“First round's on me, kids,” Tony smiled, pulling out his wallet.

“Are you doing this out of the kindness of your heart or just taking another opportunity to flash how rich you are, Stark?” Kat teased, taking a seat in one of the booths, besides Thor and leaving a seat beside her for Tony to take after he ordered the drinks. Soon, he returned, a waitress close behind him with a serving of shots. “Oh boy.”

“Down the hatch, team,” Tony said, just as everyone scooped up their shot glass, clinked them together and took them back with a grimace. Thor and Steve shared an Asgardian concoction, considering there was nothing else that would get the pair drunk.

“Eugh, gross,” Tabitha complained, wiping her mouth. “At least get something that tastes nice, Stark.”

“If it tastes nice, it's not strong enough,” Tony cheered.

“True that,” Courtenay agreed, standing to her feet. “More.”

Tony spun his finger around in the air, gesturing for another round. Within the next twenty minutes, the team had drunk about three or four shots each, giving them all a decent amount of intoxication to be slurring incoherent yet hilarious nonsense to one another.

“So, can you like, take control of animals and stuff?” Bucky questioned, his eyes slightly lazy looking.

Tabitha pondered over this for a moment, clinging to his arm. “You know, I had never thought of that. That’s such a great idea, let me do it right now--”

“Hey, take it easy,” Kat hiccuped, pressing a hand to Tabitha’s shoulder to ensure that she stayed seated and didn’t take control of any stray cats.

“Shhhhh,” Tabitha swatted Kat’s hand away. “You can’t tell me what to do anymore,” she slurred.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Thor grinned. Smiling seemed to be his go-to expression, even when he was particularly confused.

“Let me tell you, buddy,” Tabitha began, slapping her hand on the table. “Back when we used to get trained by--”

Courtenay suddenly leaned forwards, feigning that she had accidentally knocked over her drink that went sloshing over onto Tabitha’s jacket, who yelped in surprise.

“Oh, gosh, oh… no, I’m so sorry,” Courtenay spluttered, humorous expression lingering underneath the fake, apologetic one.

“Gross, Courtenay. It’s everywhere, why did you do that?” Tabitha pouted peeling off her jacket after dabbing it down with tissue.

“You’re getting a few stares, Lady Courtenay,” Thor announced, lifting his glass and gesturing towards a prestige looking bundle of people who kept shooting stares at the rather loud Courtenay, who was laughing away to herself.

“Who’s staring?” She snapped, turning around and locking eyes with the people across the room. They must have recognised her, or at least someone in their group, as they cleared their throats and looked away, feigning a smile. “Oh, no. They’re not getting away with this. Thor! Back me up.”

“What--” Kat began, though she was cut off as Thor and Courtenay stood to their feet, going over and starting a row with the other table. Tony immediately put his face in his hands, shaking his head.

“Why do I ever try and do something nice for the team?” Tony questioned with a groan. “You’re an embarrassment to my dignity.”

Courtenay and Thor, across the room, over flipped a table and caused the slurry of rich people to jump from their seats with a yelp. Thor laughed in appreciation and the pair high-fived, but it wasn’t long before the disturbed bar members from outside of the secluded area sauntered in, unimpressed. Thor and Courtenay nodded at one another, grabbing chairs.

“Oh my God, are we seriously just going to let them do this?” Kat stumbled, her brain a little fuzzy as she faded to and fro with sobriety, trying to focus on the duelling pair.

Tabitha raised her hands, shooting purple flashes of energy towards a glass that came flying towards the team, stopping an inch or two from Steve’s face. Tabitha then twisted her hands and pushed them outwards, flinging the drink back over towards the bar fight.

Suddenly, someone pulled out a gun, causing Courtenay to back up with her hands raised. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a flash of red and her over-the-top demeanour melted and she broke out into a grin.

“Hey! What’s going on here?” Spider-Man asked, crawling in from the skylight after webbing aside the man's gun. “Get outta here, guys. Scoot.”

The man who had pulled out his gun snarled towards Spider-Man, smashing his glass down on the ground before he turned to leave, the rest of his group following. Spider-Man lingered on the ceiling for a few moments, ensuring that they had left before he gently dropped to his feet and waved at the team.

“Hey, guys,” he said, his voice instantly familiar to the team. Tony looked at him, eyebrow raised, and a smug grin on his face. Spider-Man instantly coughed into his hands, his voice changing. “I mean, uh, hey. Sorry about the trouble.”

“It’s okay,” Courtenay beamed, almost swooning at the sight of him. Peter might not even try and keep his identity hidden at this point because it became aware to most of the team-- minus the confused, air-heads of Steve and Bucky --just who this masked figure was.

“I should-- I should go,” Spider-Man suddenly said, appearing particularly awkward as he rubbed his hands together before backing away slowly, making his way to the door. “I’ll uh-- I’ll send a friend in!”

Not five minutes later, Peter appeared. It was embarrassingly obvious that he was Spider-Man, and just how he had remained to keep his identity hidden this entire time was incredible. Courtenay slung her arms around him immediately, burying her reddened face into his neck as he patted her back.

“I can take care of her,” Peter announced with a soppy grin, nodding towards Kat and Tabitha who eyed their drunken friend warily. “I’ll make sure she’s back later on. Come on, Court. Let’s get you sobered up.”

“What a sweetheart,” Kat sighed, watching as he practically dragged her out of the bar as she clung onto him. “What was all that about, anyway?” She questioned, turning to Thor who looked particularly dazed, an intoxicated glint to his eye.

“A night of drinking is not a night of drinking without a good fight,” he beamed.

“Alright, sure,” Kat shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Bucky suddenly nudged Tabitha in the side and leaned to whisper as soon as she sprung to his attention. “How’s about we get out of here?”

“Sure,” Tabitha agreed, downing the rest of her vodka and coke before shimmying out of the booth and following him. At this point, the team didn’t think to question them, far more focused on the damage that they had-- or, more specifically, that Thor and Court --had caused.

“I’m sorry about that,” Tabitha rubbed her nose, the night air of New York particularly cold. “She tends to get a little over excited when she’s drunk.”

“Yeah, I figured,” he laughed, throwing his arm over his shoulder as the pair aimlessly wandered through the streets. Any other day, Tabitha would probably feel particularly anxious to be walking around the streets at this time of night. However, with Bucky by her side, she felt confident. “She’s got a good heart, though.”

Tabitha hummed at this. “Yeah.”

“Peter seems to bring out the best in her,” Bucky thought. “It’s funny. He’s the timidest, most awkward boy I’ve met in my life. And she’s just… she's..."

“A lot?” Tabitha suggested with a laugh.

“For lack of better word, yeah. She’s very loud,” he shrugged.

“Well, she turns to mush whenever she’s with Peter,” Tabitha thought over the times in Hydra, how her friends had been treated. “He’s one of the few things that have ever loved her, you know? It’s the same with all of us. Before, we…” Tabitha took a deep breath. “Never mind.”

Bucky froze, having stopped under the dim, flickering light of a lamppost. He pressed his hands to Tabitha’s shoulders.

“You can talk to me about anything, you know that, right?” He encouraged.

Tabitha looked away, anxious. Was she really about to do this? Was she really about to tell him everything?

“Where we came from wasn’t a very nice place,” Tabitha finally said. “They didn’t treat us all that well.”

Bucky frowned, thinking back to his own time at Hydra. He suddenly thought back to his conversation in the farm house, remembering how she seemed to forget a huge portion of her life. Perhaps it was for the best.

“I’m sorry.”

Tabitha looked at her hands that became alight with purple flames before she clenched her fists. “It’s okay. It doesn’t seem to affect me as much. There’s this big, empty hole where all of the pain should be.”

Bucky frowned. “Coping mechanism?”

“Yeah,” Tabitha scoffed. “Almost like my brain programmed itself to forget everything that happened.”

“Is that a good thing?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know if I’d rather remember or if I’d rather never know,” Tabitha sighed, running her fingers through her hair. It pained Bucky to hear her talking like this, to be sharing the same feelings that swarmed his own mind. “Sometimes I hear them… Kathryn and Courtenay. They cry in their sleep, or they don’t sleep at all. What happened to them that seemingly flew right over my head? Am I wrong for not feeling the same way?”

Bucky could feel his throat swelling with emotion and he swallowed, pulling her into a strong hug as he felt a supernova of emotions explode in his chest as he let out a mere, ragged breath, holding Tabitha close.

Meanwhile, Kat had repositioned herself to sit on one of Thor’s legs as the team laughed away, the spirits having been lifted as Sam took it upon himself to do some Karaoke. Of course, being the fanboy that he was, decided to sing some Marvin Gaye, ‘Let’s Get It On’.

Kat pulled out her phone, laughing away as she filmed the entire fiasco, drunk Sam still managing to hit every note and lyric, if not with a little extra passion. The team, heavily intoxicated at this point, all joined in on the song, and though Steve and Thor stumbled over the words, they managed to pick it up after Sam’s third round.

“Alright, I’m pooped,” Natasha yawned, her eyes bloodshot. “I think it’s time we get home, huh?”

Kat, although thoroughly enjoying herself, agreed. She had to make sure that Tabitha and Courtenay got home safe. Tony slapped down the money he owed for the drinks, and everybody shuffled out of the booth. Happy chauffeured everyone home (requiring multiple trips back and forth from the bar and back to the HeadQuarters) but he didn’t complain.

As soon as Kat got through the doors, she just about tripped over before she was caught by Thor, who smiled at her drunken form. She wasn’t particularly sure if she’d tripped on purpose or if she was genuinely clumsy, as her subconscious was screaming for her to throw herself at Thor anyway.

“Are you alright?” Thor questioned, holding her as she remained mid-fall, gazing up at him with reddened cheeks. She broke out into a smile, her mind fuzzy with the remaining buzz of alcohol before she cleared her throat and nodded, standing up straight.

“Get her to bed, Thor,” Tony grumbled, rubbing his eyes. “And leave her there.”

“I had no other intentions, my friend,” Thor rolled his eyes.

“Will you make sure Court and Tabs get home safe?” Kat whispered, worrisome although exhausted at the same time.

“Of course,” Thor reassured her, which instantly made her relax.

Eventually, Thor managed to coax Kat into bed, where she almost immediately fell asleep. He flipped off the light and retired to his own quarters, tip-toeing as to not wake anyone else. He checked quickly in Courtenay’s room, who was already there, asleep. About forty minutes later, Tabitha and Bucky crept back into the HeadQuarters, giggling and shushing one another, evidence that they’d had a few more drinks after their emotional conversation.

“Shhhh!” Tabitha ushered, clasping a hand over her mouth as Bucky knocked over a lamp before snatching it quickly, stopping it from hitting the ground. “You’re sooooo clumsy.” She laughed, holding onto his arms.

“I don’t know why you’re holding onto me then,” Bucky hiccuped. “If I fall we both  fall.”

The moment he said that his foot caught on a stool in the living room and himself and Tabitha fell into a heap on the floor, laughing their asses off, though they froze and lay flat-down, side-by-side as they heard somebody walking past.

“Hello?” Happy called out.

Tabitha breathed out in relief, peeking out over the sofa with a grin on her face.

“Freeze!” Happy yelled at the sight of her.

“Calm down, Happy! It's just me!” Tabitha reassured, waving her arms before pulling Bucky up beside her. “And Buck!”

Happy grimaced. “Whatever you’re doing, don’t make a mess.”

Tabitha opened her mouth in shock as Bucky doubled over laughing. “We weren’t doing anything! We tripped!” Tabitha denied.

Hogan rolled his eyes. “Get to bed, children.”

“Okay Happy,” Tabitha hummed, a childish, smug smile on her face. “You heard the guy. Get to bed!”

“That’s where I was trying to go until this stool got in my way,” Bucky exclaimed, pointing at the stool. “I don’t even know where it came from. Tackled me out of nowhere!”

“Well let’s go before he gets his stool friends to back him up, ‘cause then we’d be in big trouble,” Tabitha said seriously. The pair then stumbled to bed, parting ways, though not without a kiss on the cheek first.

Finally, Tabitha collapsed onto her bed with a content sigh to be actually wrapped in the bed covers. However, her mind continued to race as she thought back to her conversation with Bucky earlier. Her heart jumped with happiness at how understanding and comforting he was with her, though she remained feeling emotional giving the topic they’d stumbled upon. Drained, she eventually found herself falling asleep.

[jewishgarygreen]

Legends of Tomorrow Signing At SDCC

This is gonna be long, so buckle up! In this post:

-Wristbands! Legends signing! 

-My Leonard cosplay, Dubious’ Sara cosplay (not pictured: our “Just Friends” sign)

-My Ray Funko, signed by Brandon Routh himself

-Brandon yelling at a security guard for me

-General meeting-the-cast stories

So on Saturday at SDCC, @dubiousculturalartifact and I got wristbands to go to the Legends signing! 

I got up at 3am for these, and it was 10000% worth it. Love that SDCC no-sleep magic. Yes, the wristbands were rainbow. Yes, every other show had single color wristbands. Yes, the entire Legends team is queer. It’s canon. Thanks for playing. 

Dubious and I made it through the massive line, and massively disorganized line, and it only took...a couple of hours. Then we took a little break while Dubious went to a panel and I went to go drop my pillow back off in the hotel room and chill for a little bit. Then we went into Ballroom 20 and this is the time where I say that the only good thing my Chronic Lyme has ever given me is access to the ADA/Disability lines at SDCC. That’s it. Five years, and this one thing. Thanks, Lyme Disease! 

Here’s ya tired boy wearing his boyfriend’s Hufflepuff lanyard and a lovely “Ice Is Gay” pin that Dubious got for me at some ungodly hour of the morning in the ADA line outside of the convention center:

So, we sat through some shitty panels, and then got to see the first few minutes of the Star Trek Discovery panel (which was AWESOME) before heading to the floor to get to the signing at the WB booth. 

The cast came out and I got some blurry shots, mostly of Brandon, which was 100% an accident, I was trying to get everyone but I guess Brandon is so large he negates some camera shake (I have a shitty camera and shaky hands).

You can see Dom in the back in the white hat, and Brandon a little bit ahead of him.

Brandon is a large, confused boy. You can kind of see Nick and Dom in this, too, if you look closely. Victor is blurry on the right side of the frame. 

Here are some cute girls, and also Brandon looking, once again, confused. Maisie and Caity are just! Lovely! 

Then it was waiting time, and I took a selfie in line with my tiny boyfriend, and another selfie with my bestie.

Look at these amazing best friends who have no romantic interactions ever at all! Amazing! Also featuring my Ice Is Gay pin because, uh, ice is gay. 

Anyway, we weren’t allowed to take pictures or video during the signing, but the WB facebook did a little live stream and you can see us walk through close to the end if you want! I think it’s around the 11:00 or 12:00 mark? Anyway!

First up was Tala, the new girl! The guy in front of me was clearly not interested in talking to her, so I took my chance and squeezed in to say hi. I told her that I am excited to meet Zari, and she said that she was too! She said that she hasn’t been on set yet, but she’s hoping to post a lot of stuff on her Instagram (and to be nice to her because she’s new to social media). She was So Sweet and I fell even more in love with her than I already was (which was a lot to start with, what a cutie!)

Next up was Dom, who took a look at my costume, peered at me, and said, “...Cold.” I said that it was and he goes, “That’s my buddy!” Yes, Dom, I know. It was exactly what I thought an interaction with Dom would be like, and I was highly amused.

Nick was next, and he gave me a high-five! It was great! He’s great! I don’t have anything else to say about this! Except that he’s a good dude!

After Nick was Caity, who commented on my cosplay, saying it was good or nice or something that I don’t remember because I told her that she was going to like the one coming up next even more, and she did! I’ll let Dubious tell that story but tl;dr Caity signed her boob. Unprompted.

I moved on to Brandon while that was happening, and greeted me and said, “Hey, nice!” about my costume. While he was signing the poster, he noticed the Ray Funko sticking out of my pocket. I think he said something about it, but mostly I just remember him saying, “Hey, you want me to sign that?” Now, technically, we’re not supposed to get other things besides the provided poster signed, but he offered, and I’m sure as hell not gonna say no to that! So I hand it over.

As he’s signing it, I mention that Ray is really important to me and a lot of my friends, and thank him for the character. Now, most actors I’ve said things like this to, or heard stories about people meeting, would say “Oh, thank you!” or something to that effect, and move on. Brandon fucking Routh though, goes, “Oh, why?”

WHY?!?!?! BRANDON WTF.

As I try to form words to answer, he hands the Funko back over. As soon as I get it back, a security guard walks over and snatches it out of my hand. I’m completely bewildered, but Brandon leans forward and half-shouts, “Hey!” at the security guard. He was Very Indignant and I love him very very much. The security guard told him that I’d get it back at the end, and you can see him go, “Oh, okay,” in the video and go back to signing. 

I still hadn’t answered his question, so I stammered out a few words as I was being shuffled forward on to Maisie about what he brings to the character and, “and, uh, heart!” Not my most eloquent moment, but he caught me by surprise! I wrote a twitter thread to him elaborating on it, but I’m not sure if he saw it or will ever see it. Oh well. Still a great moment, and still nice to tell him that people love and appreciate Ray! 

So, still a bit overwhelmed by my Brandon experience, I head to Maisie, who tried to greet me as I stammer out, “Hi, I love Amaya!” She laughed, but it was a lovely, gorgeous laugh, and wow I sure am queer. I think I said something else, not sure, too overwhelmed being super gay and also post-Brandon-standing-up-for-me-and-asking-why-people-like-Ray-ness.

Next was Victor. I’m not the biggest fan of Marty, and I haven’t really followed his work much, so it was pretty chill. Earlier, though, he had made fun of Maisie and Caity in a video that Maisie had posted, because the girls kept saying, “We’re so pumped!” He asked, “Do people still say pumped?” 

So, I told him that I was, “So pumped to be here!” and he was kind of like *sigh* “That’s nice.” 

Franz was next, and as I got to him, some people that he knew who were apparently some of the Legends sound crew showed up on the other side of the barrier to the booth, and he practically jumped over the signing table to high-five them. It was very cute, and I still got to tell him how amazing he is on Legends, so that was nice! He was lovely! 

Technically Marc and Phil were next, but I didn’t want Marc touching anything that I would own, so I skipped them. I would have gone to just Phil if I didn’t think it would be supremely awkward to just skip over Marc. 

And then I got to fight with every single security guard at the WB booth to get my goddamn Funko back, but I got it!!

(I also tweeted at Brandon that I got it back and he liked my tweet so, wooo!)

I’ll post some of our cosplay pictures in a separate post, because this is really long and I am really sorry to every single person on mobile! But finally, I want to show the poster which is, uh. I didn’t look at it until I got back to the hotel room and, uh....they super whitewashed Amaya. That is...sure not what Maisie’s skin color is. So uh. It’s bad. They did a bad job. Poor Maisie, having to look at and sign so many. 

She’s?? Almost the same tone as Mick??? HEY CAN YOU NOT?? THANKS!! This is BAD!!!!!

Anyway, that was the only negative thing, really. In conclusion, this cast is lovely and wonderful and precious and I love them all so much!! 

[fakaza247]

Live updates as Glastonbury 2020 sold out with demand higher than ever for 50th anniversary festival

Tickets for Glastonbury 2020 go on general sale today with See Tickets and are expected to sell out quick for what is the 50th anniversary of the Worthy Farm festival.

We’ve got plenty of top ticket buying tips to help you get your hands on them.

Thousands of would be festival goers will be desperately trying to get tickets to the event today, which tends to sell out within an hour of going on sale.

No headliners have yet been confirmed for next year’s festival but the rumour mill includes Taylor Swift, Fleetwood Mac, Paul McCartney and even the Spice Girls.

We’re following the sale live, so stick with us to find out how quickly tickets are selling, and what to do if you don’t manage to get your hands on them.

09:38

Demand was higher than ever this year

If you managed to get tickets, count yourself very VERY lucky!

Emily Eavis

✔@emilyeavis

We have now sold out. Thank you all for your incredible, continued support. Demand was higher than ever, with over 2.4 million people registered. Bring on 2020! https://twitter.com/glastofest/status/1180763186993065984 …

Glastonbury Festival

✔@GlastoFest

Tickets for Glastonbury 2020 have now Sold Out. Thank you to everyone who bought one, and sorry to those who missed out. There will be a ticket resale in April – plus we’ll be announcing details of a special ballot for the sale of 50 pairs of tickets in the coming days.

776

9:37 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:37

Yep – that’s a wrap. Glastonbury Tickets have SOLD OUT

Glastonbury Festival

✔@GlastoFest

Tickets for Glastonbury 2020 have now Sold Out. Thank you to everyone who bought one, and sorry to those who missed out. There will be a ticket resale in April – plus we’ll be announcing details of a special ballot for the sale of 50 pairs of tickets in the coming days.

1,990

9:34 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:36

Could it be all over?

Lots of people getting this now. Waiting for official confirmation from Glastonbury Festival organisers.

Kerri McNally @kamcnally

 · 1h

I have my #Glastonbury ticket moan tweet ready to go so this is a moan tweet about that tweet moaning I have to have a moan tweet ready, ya know.

Kerri McNally @kamcnally

I got as far as putting in my reg numbers and postcodes. And then THIS. *raging #Glastonbury #GlastonburyTickets

1

9:34 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:33

Worth giving this a go

Everyone’s sharing their Glastonbury ticket hacks. It’s worth trying everything

Steven Hart@stevenhartt

If you disable your Adblocker you will get to the holding page #Glastonbury

9:32 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:27

UPDATE from Glastonbury Festival organisers

People using multiple tabs could be why so many people are struggling to get on. If everyone sticks to one tab it could increase chances of getting through.

Glastonbury Festival

✔@GlastoFest

Tickets are selling, but we are seeing huge demand. Please keep trying – just over half of the tickets have been sold so far. And please stick to one tab / screen.

670

9:26 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:25

More tickets sales going through

This Glastonbury goer bought her tickets using an iPad on Chrome, using 4G not wifi. Lot of very frustrated people still struggling to get on the site though.

Alex Lee@alex__lee

BEST SUNDAY EVER #Glastonbury50 #glastonbury2020 #Glastonbury

3

9:19 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:13

Lot of frustrated people

Everyone seems to be having the same problem

See

✔@seetickets

 · 1h

Tickets for @GlastoFest 2020 are on sale now at https://glastonbury.seetickets.com 

Tori Grace@ToriGraceBoop

not working 🙁

1

9:09 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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See

✔@seetickets

 · 1h

Tickets for @GlastoFest 2020 are on sale now at https://glastonbury.seetickets.com 

Macca@Ryanmclfc7

Time for a ballot. This is just a joke

30

9:08 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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See

✔@seetickets

 · 1h

Tickets for @GlastoFest 2020 are on sale now at https://glastonbury.seetickets.com 

Charlotte Therese@CasualBanana

The site isn’t even working!

9:06 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:09

Some people are starting to get through

So many people on social media talking about how they can’t even get on the See Tickets Glastonbury sale website, but some people have been lucky.

Hang on in there and keep trying. It’s worth giving all of these top tricks for buying Glastonbury tickets a go.

Lucy Stevens@MarketingLucy

When your bestie manages to get you Glastonbury tickets in 5 minutes

9:06 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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09:02

The sale / frustration has begun

Lot of people experiencing this right now

Chris@strutcakes

Honestly @GlastoFest. Sort out your website.

2

9:00 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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08:59

Get ready…

The sale is about to begin. We’ll let you know the moment we find out it’s sold out. Get ready.

It’s already tricky trying to get onto the website, so looks like this is going to be a really busy one.

Keep trying at see tickets here.

08:44

Glastonbury See Tickets booking information

People wanting to go to Glastonbury can book up to six tickets per person at glastonbury.seetickets.com.

Tickets cost £265 plus a £5 booking fee per person.

Registration is closed and if you don’t have a valid registration number you won’t be able to book a ticket today, sorry.

The balance of each ticket must be paid by the first week in April 2020.

08:35

Countdown is on

GlastoFestFeed@GlastoFestFeed

30 MINUTE WARNING! Be prepared! #Glastonbury2020 #Glastonbury #TicketSaleDay

18

8:32 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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08:33

How to refresh on a mac

If you’re trying to get tickets using a Mac computer you might be wondering how to refresh the page, to try again and again.

What you need to do is hit the ‘command’ button, keep it pressed down and then hit R. You should then see your browser screen refresh.

08:28

Why we love Glastonbury so much

Let’s take a minute to remind ourselves why we’re so desperate to get tickets today. Worthy Farm is the only place we want to be come June, come rain or shine. People from Liverpool seem to have a real love for the festival and of course it’s a chance to dress to impress. Here’s a look a look back at some of the fashion highlights from a very sunny 2019 Glastonbury.

Neon galore at Glastonbury 2019 (Image: Getty Images)

08:10

Liverpool is ready

Liam Bannon@liambannon96

Standby operation Glastonbury exercise

6

5:59 AM – Oct 6, 2019 · Halewood, England

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Jack Conway@JackConway96

All I want more than anything else in this world, is a ticket to Glastonbury. Please. I can’t explain enouugh just how much I need and want this ticket.

3

3:26 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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Chloe@_ChloeLucas

Happy Hunger games everyone #Glastonbury

6

8:07 AM – Oct 6, 2019

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08:02

Glastonbury ticket buying tips

There are lots of theories about how best to get your hands on Glastonbury tickets and everyone’s got their own theories.

Radio X has shared tips from past successful ticket holders which could help you land the ever elusive Glastonbury ticket .

These include:

Connecting to a VPN – virtual private network – which extends a private network across a public one. This means your connection might just a little bit faster as your connection will make it look like you’re not searching in the same place as everyone else.

Using the internet on your phone as people think it seems to work faster

Having different browsers open, so get Chrome and Safari up at the same time

Don’t refresh too often – some say if you refresh too many times the site will temporarily lock you out. Many believe if you use your phone rather than a PC or laptop and just stick to the holding page it’ll happen.

There doesn’t seem to be an exact science, so our advice is to just try everything!

19:36

Glastonbury tickets on sale today at 9am

Today’s the day Glastonbury tickets go on general sale and you need to be ready at 9am on the dot. The ticket sale is notoriously frantic and on average tickets sell out in around 20 minutes.

So get multiple tabs open, keep hitting that refresh button, say a little prayer and you might just be in with a chance of bagging tickets.

Of course you want all your friends doing exactly the same thing as well in case you don’t have any luck.

We’ll keep you up to date with how the sale goes and let you know the moment the tickets sell out.

Good luck!

Glastonbury Festival at Worthy Farm, (Image: Getty Images)

The post Live updates as Glastonbury 2020 sold out with demand higher than ever for 50th anniversary festival appeared first on Fakaza247.

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[motherlessdaughter2016]

The year after my mom died

≈First Grieving Anniversary Experience

(These are my words in notion with my grief. Personal words. Raw words. I can only hope that this post can help someone who is also grieving. Maybe help them not feel so crazy or alone.)

December 20, 2017

There are things in life that happen that makes someone who they are. Life experiences, influences, status, etc. None of it's no different when it comes to the week of the first anniversary of someone you loved passed away. December 26, 2016 was the day my mom died. It was unexpected and sudden. What used to be the best time of the year for our family became our most difficult time of the year. My mom was our core. She held us together and she made sure we were loved and cared for. This past year, there has been some shakey patches. A very shakey part right now as we're 6 days away from a year.

These last few days have been odd, as if it's only the beginning and it was dawning on me that how close it was and Christmas was coming. I'm gonna be honest, I didn't by much for anyone. Most of it will be homemade and I'm even slacking at that.

My dad, sister and I went to visit our Nana for a few days. It was our first time without mom. I didn't know how to feel so I just went with what came to me. Lots of anxiety for one thing. It'd been a while since I was in a roadtrip like that. As we were traveling from NWPA to Cape Cod. I don't trust other drivers on the road and I have high anxiety, so I tried to stay focused elsewhere.

We got there and I enjoyed being out on Cape, spending time with my family. It was great seeing Nana, how I missed her. The house is always welcoming and it's home to us. But there lurking in the back of my mind, we were missing someone. Mom. 

It was a bittersweet.

Nana has a back porch with sliding glass doors that lead onto it. She has a fence for where her dog can roam but the rest of her property is woods and if you pay attention, you can be deer at dusk about this time of year. Sure we had neighbors but no-one pays attention to you. So it's quiet. And it was a little cold at night but I'd stand on the back porch and stare out into the darkness. Remembering the last time we were all on that porch together. 

May 2015. We went up to celebrate Mother's Day. Nana, mom and me. Dad and Kiki were there too. It was two weeks we spent on the Cape. It was wonderful. There was a day where mom and I slipped away, just the two of us and she showed me her favorite spots and we took a selfie that day. We saw seals! She told me about how the fishing boats would bring in the fish and gave me a history lesson. She was once a teacher after all. It was a really great day for us. This time, it was solemn but much needed. It was a short break from the chaos of everything we've faced this year from losing mom. But I would stand on the back porch and cherish that memory. Sometimes I would talk to her.  I know she's listening. Even when I don't say it out loud.

My time on Cape was a mixture for me. I did go to a party with my sister and I barely managed through it but I did get through it. Lots of self talking and relying on my inner circle a screen tap away. I suffer from social anxiety and being out of my element really throws a gal off. Thankfully we left and got to a familar place, I felt a bit better. The people were nice but there were too many. There had to have been 10 people in one house. It was overwhelming for me.

I didn't sleep well that night. It was the 2nd night we were there. I couldn't get comfortable no matter where I tried to lay down. I couldn't sleep. Mom was on my mind alot. Christmas is 5 days away. Mom died on the 26th. I probably totaled 4 hours of sleep that night and the morning was rough as well. It was a bad morning for me. I couldn't eat much so I just rested for the day. The 3rd day was okay and by the 4th morning we were leaving Cape to head home.

So we're 6 days away from that day with some other pressing issues are also demanding our attention, things even still relating to mom. When someone dies unexpectedly, there is so much the family becomes responsible for. Things I didn't even think were possible!

It's just a very different feeling this year, compared to last. If I were to compare last Christmas to this, you'll definitely see the difference. The raw emotions of losing someone really affects people. And it's so very upsetting for someone who can't relate say "it's been *insert timeframe* since they died, isn't it time to move on?" as if we, the ones who grieve, are supposed to put a time limit on our loss. Because grief is NOT the same for everyone. We're fast approaching a year since my mother died and I still feel the pain and devastating hit we all took when it was confirmed that we lost her. It is still very real in my mind, fresh. You can't forget that kind of pain. You can't forget about the energy shifts and the sounds of others expressing their own anguish. There has been so many emotions coming from me this week and I'm just trying to breathe and make sense of it all. Falling back on my circle of trusted people but to be honest, it's pouring over us at the worst time of the year.

I have been a bit irritable and really trying not take it out on the wrong people. I have been anticipating the holiday coming but I guess I didn't see it coming up on me. Before I knew it, I realized we're 6 days away from a year. Time flies quick yet slow, if that makes any sense. I don't know what else I expect to happen in the next 6 days though but we are cautiously hopeful for Christmas Day.

Sometimes I often find myself still stuck between that anger that she's gone and that depression of losing her. Sometimes I find genuine laughter and enjoyment but I always have this lurking off balance energy. And I just haven't figured out how to find my balance again. Despite my best effects, I get kicked by life. Because well, life doesn't wait for you. It keeps going. It's encouraged to not get left behind. It sounds easy but it's really not easy. We're falling behind. Bills are building up, everyone wants money.

I want money too. I want to have money to give money to the people who want money from me!

And I'm having anxiety over how I'm gonna tell my landlord that I don't have the water bill. There has only ever been a few times in 2 years that I've asked for an extension on my bill because I just don't have it...he kinda yells at me but in a passive way because my not being able to pay affects his ability to pay and I get that, I really honestly and truly do. But my boyfriend was fired, two weeks before Christmas. He was fired for attendance but here's the catch, he had a doctors note.

He's had 2 interviews already but no word of a yes yet. My friends (who are just family) are waiting on background checks to come in for their old jobs. They had a baby and we had to adjust. My bestie became a stay at home dad while his girlfriend got a better job to make up the difference. It worked for a long time. Until the month of December happened. My girl threw out her back and ended up with a herniated disc. She is still trying to recover from that but she's also fed up with her current job. It's garbage. But she keeps working it but she's going to be working for me soon enough. (I'm disabled. I was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy when I was a kid. It's a progressive disease that weakens the muscles over time and could cause respiratory issues amoung other muscle related organs. FSH MD and LG MD are the types I have. And I am 28 almost 29 years old. It been almost 21 years since I've been living with this condition. But I have a supportive family.) So has experience in home care so we began the process. We're hoping for good news soon. We could really use it. A miracle would be amazing.

Before my mom died. I never thought about it. And what it'd be like. I guess you never think to lose your mom so young. Most people don't lose their moms until they're almost in their 60s. Some parents can live to be 100. Isn't that crazy? It's amazing if you think about it. 100 years. Some get to 102! But I never did think. I always thought she'd be around. I always thought she'd see me get married. To be a part of her grandchildren's lives. Enjoy her life, she had her own business. She made a name for herself in our town. But we lost the buisness...I think it was her. We were able to clean out the important things but the rest of her office was destroyed. After the New Year, the pipes burst and flooded it. Twice! It was a mess. We had to throw out a lot of things. I'm pretty sure my mom was still mad as hell. I don't think she planned it this way, she always say she'd be saying the wrong thing to the wrong person and get shot. She worked in the ghetto side of town. But she had good foot traffic and loyal customers. She ran her business well. And there has been some criminal activity happen at her office. Robbed than someone broke in a few years ago, just some drunk woman. She kicked in the front door! It's crazy. But she died due to brain damage. She aphixiayed in her sleep and lost too much oxygen. They ran tests to see if there any brain activity but nothing came through. I stared at that monitor, willing for something to happen. And the doctor officially called her time of death. 6:30pm on December 26, 2016. The day my life changed forever and I was forced to face my one of my fears.

Moving on without my mom by my side. She could talk me down and get me to see different things. She was my strength when I was weak. She always assurded that she'd be the for me. She was unconditional love. She was the core of our family. And we're cracking more under the pressure.