#like. fuck can i say i can do. ‘i can use excel’ except see thats. a lie. i cant use excel. because i cant afford excel.

[quietwingsinthesky]

google how to inform places im applying to that id like to start at level zero. i have no experience. thats the point. you have to GIVE ME SOME.

[loveofmyknife]

Live Blogging the Burrow’s end finale but it’s all in one post because I can’t be bothered to reblog the same post 10 times. So like… pre-recorded blogging I guess

Spoilers. Obviously.

- loving the finale outfits! Especially the caution tape accessories!

- hey girl hey! Poor Teedles is taking all of this very well and we love them for it. I too would rather face possible death than have to babysit my boss’s children

- someone really should go check on Simon

- love how Tula is advocating for a nonviolent solution and ends it with “and we should definitely track down and murder Phoebe”. It’s nonviolent except for one specific person (being?)

- Lucas is just doing his best as a congested little boy. Somebody get him some mint! (Bint)

- “oh, mommy has so much bloodlust!” is an excellent line

- again, Brennan is unhinged, and also maybe wearing pink lipstick, which I think adds to the vibe

- Thorn being concerned for Dr Steel is so indicative of his character. He just wants to protect his people, and even though they’ve only known this human for a few hours, she is one of his people

- I DID NOT KNOW HE COULD DO THAT

- love a good title drop, but this plan seems very hastily put together. I am concerned

- persuasion- “-OR ELSE!” … ok intimidation

- gasoline lasts for however long is narratively relevant

- how many stoats does it take to drive a truck? Apparently at least 5

- I mean as far at Nat 1s go operating a gear shift as a rodent makes sense

- viola is holding this group together by sheer force of will

-oh fuck human magic!

- new map! New map!

- Oh fuck “human” NECROMANCY!

-kinda sad that Carlos isn’t playing Wennabocker on the board in some way but it obviously makes sense from a practical standpoint

- the minis!!! So cool!

-“grandma casts sounding” oh no…

- box of doom strikes again

- 40 points of damage is insane

- Lucas no! I love his little hat but no!

- hate when the BBEG rolls a Nat 20

- 69 hp…nice

- not Lucas!!

- oh Tula is never going to forgive herself for this and I have Thoughts about it

- Phoebe really is just a situation at this point

- That is exactly what a 12 year old would say when beating up an eldritch horror

- yeah I’d say hitting the ground really hard is a reckless attack, Ava

-109 damage! Jesus fucking Christ

- oh it’s some eugenics shit, okay

- Dr Steel coming to the rescue!

- I love using a bunch of skills and mechanics to get the desired outcome. Casting a spell, moving out of range of counterspell, and disengaging an opportunity attack all at the same time just to be able to fireball this meat suit

- I also would not recommend hitting a nuclear reactor with fire

- “no that’s okay” was such a power move

- “I DEBONE THAT MOTHERFUCKER” yes you do, and somehow that invents cooking! I love it

- Nat 20! “THATS! MY! WIFE!!!” Viola has taken out 4 giants in a single round. She is a badass. She is a warrior. She is my hero.

- oh yeah, Dr Steel was just standing there for all that

- We may be experiencing a tragedy but at least they’ve also invented ice cream

- LUCAS NO!

- ok yeah i might be sobbing a little, what of it?

- I like that Ava can have a little magic as a treat

- I personally welcome our new stoat overlords

- babies!

-Get it, Tula! But seriously I like that she really got to process life without being just a widow and a mother before moving on

-baby’s first word: viscera. This is cannon

-Ava’s doing great, and her life is in her own hands. She’s completely overhauling the local law enforcement and creating triple A

- Dr Lila! She’s a nuclear physicist now!

- Did not expect Jaysohn to go for an Airbud plot line but I’m not mad at it

Closing thoughts: I loved it! I think the ending was pretty abrupt but taking out the BBEG in like 2 rounds will do that so I can’t fault them for it. I would have loved for at least one of the party to take over Education, and I think Tula was kind of set up for it but I’m glad she gets to just enjoy life now instead. I can’t wait to see tomorrow’s Adventuring Party and I’m super excited about next season!

[rowarn]

sorry i wasn't specific with my ask! if you could just give me some ideas on how you get your inspo and word usage, that's mostly what i'm looking for! anything is appreciated though, thank youu. :))

RIGHT ON! its okay, i would have given random tips but i wasnt sure if there was something specific you were looking for!

my inspo largely comes from other media. tv shows, movies, edits, fucking character ai bots, other fics; literally anything that i enjoy i typically wind up using in my fics. its not for me personally but plenty of people get inspired by music! songs and music videos

other fics are excellent inspo bc u can see how readers respond to tropes that they've done. age gap, dilf, aus, and stuff like that. its also rlly great to see characterization. as long as you're not plagiarizing then emulating and learning from other writers who are doing the same thing you do or want to do is excellent. i love reading fics hehe

ik that sounds like super basic and boring but having a repertoire of existing tropes and stuff is super great!

as for word usage, it's all super subjective bc my tastes and stuff will not match up for everyone. but if u like how i write and want to emulate it then there are a few things i can say! i focus mostly on smut and dialogue.

first, it's important to have a good vocabulary. knowing synonyms to words you want to say is important. u don't want to have a paragraph that uses the same word over and over again, you want to break it up and make it mentally appealing to read. it won't be interesting to readers if you don't expand your vocab!

i am primarily a smut writer so that's where most of my focus is on intentional word usage. all my narration and plot is pretty basic i'd say. nothing incredibly special except for my dialogue which i put a lot of thought into.

i don't use metaphors that much. so, say, for smut u won't catch me using "globes" in reference to tits. i much prefer to just come out and say breasts, tits, chest.

i also don't use like Correct anatomy language. so i don't use penis, testicles, vagina or clitoris. i use.......porn language bc that's what im writing; cock, pussy, cunt, clit. just to keep it......erotic bc i personally (again, subjective) find correct anatomy language to be more off-putting than erotic.

smut is where it becomes difficult to use broad language. there's only so many words you can use for a dick. so don't be afraid to bust out some wattpad words u know? length, member, etc. ik they can sometimes be cringey and u don't like them but use them at the right time and using it sparingly and most ppl won't rlly notice. it breaks up reading the word cock and dick over and over and over again for 2k words.

for some examples,

for dicks u can use; dick, cock, member, shaft, length

for the puth u can do; pussy, cunt, folds, core, sex isn't bad

clit i use clit, bud, and nub mostly...but ppl use pearl or button, i don't but it doesn't bother me when i see it

i also don't use flowery language. i know in creative writing or whatever it's common to use poetic word usage but i find it to be more confusing than anything. i can't read rlly flowery fics bc the meaning of what im reading just genuinely gets lost. it's all lost on me. i'd say im a much more direct writer with my words and scenes? i utilize a fair bit of narration and exposition in my writing.

i find dialogue style to be quite important. if you read my stuff (like the fics, we dont look at my word vomit LMAOOO) you'll usually see i make the characters talk in specific ways.

simon cuts off his words "goin'" instead of "going", "somethin'" instead of "something", like that. i dont use a ton of language to depict his accent other than that, i leave the leg work mostly up to the readers bc they know what he sounds like. but some writers do like british slang, "wanker", "mate", "innit" LMAO i just don't and thats my choice. i choose to just cut his words off and call it a day. he has a more casual way of speaking in Taking What You Need as compared to konig in Experience.

konig, in Experience, has a specific way of talking as well that is opposite to simon. he doesn't use contractions. i did that intentionally bc i wanted him to have a more intimidating, professional, cold kind of way of talking. "do not do it" comes across different than "don't do it"!

i personally would say that a large part of my characterization comes across in dialogue and the style of dialogue i choose. i think that makes it more enjoyable for readers!

all in all, i basically just emulate what i personally like to see in writing. that's how i keep finding it enjoyable. i love giving fics for ppl to read but if i didn't write straight up what I wanted to see then the actual physical task of writing would be a lot worse.

idk how helpful this was since i basically just told u.....what i like to do LMAOOOO but i hope it gives u some kind of idea of what i focus on and how i get my writing to be the way it is?

EDIT: important that i also use inclusive language to the best of my abilities!

instead of saying like "your cheeks turned red" i use "you feel your cheeks heat up" or something along those lines since people with darker skin tones won't have their cheeks turn red when they blush!! but feeling your cheeks BURN is smthn we've all experienced.

i also try not to use any "running your hands through your hair" bc not everyone can do that! i can't even do that i have curly hair hehe. an alternative would be pushing a stray strand out of your face or tucking some behind your ear or something like that.

also, i don't mention nipple color or vagina color or anything !

[helisol]

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo. 

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

[mochees]

"𝗶 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗜𝗜"

-> headcanons, how they tell you they love you for the first time, part two!

characters: sakusa, iwaizumi, x fem!reader

warnings: fem reader, ✨healthy relationships✨, oikawa being oikawa

wc: 3.6K

a/n: WOAH okay uh did NOT expect that last set to be that popular,,,, y'all thirsty for love huh? me too anyway i thought id do a part two since i honestly really enjoyed writing the first set and my brain is vibrating with ✨thoughts✨ and seeing how much love it got really made me feel how i haven't felt in so long, so thank you! maybe ill turn this into a series so lemme know if u wanna see someone specific👀👀😏 also sorry for like posting and then dipping again lmao thats just my social media brand i have the attention span of a fucking worm

read part 1 here!

Sakusa Kiyoomi

okok i know its like common for sakusa to be shown as not interested in PDA (in private or public) unless hes feeling "needy"

BUT i believe that after a few weeks, maybe months if he's still unsure, he would definitely be much more comfortable with PDA

like, if its been a long time and your both serious about it and not just in a relationship to be in a relationship he starts to notice your routine

he notices the changes you make so that he's comfortable and so that you can be close to him without him being worried about icky yicky germy wormys (someone take away my thought privileges)

so now that he knows that you take care of your hygiene and exactly what you do for it, slowly he's wrapping an arm around you in 30° heat while you're both sweating

slowly he's "forgetting" his mask in the car for dates

slowly, but surely, he understands that a little bit of exposure, isn't a bad thing.

"kiyoomi?" your voice brought sakusa's eyes to yours where he could see the concern behind them.

"are you okay y/n?"

you'd decided, after three weeks of intense training and barely seeing your boyfriend, that you wanted just one day and one night with him. just the two of you, you know he'd never admit it, but he needed a break.

after atsumu decided to try out some new plays that didn't start off to well, sakusa had been silently groaning everytime he had to reach for something. he was excellent at making sure he wasn't overworking himself, and he wasn't, its just that the human body is an absolute wonder, and not in a good way. sometimes things that should have mildly injured you, left you with a tiny scrape, or a bruise or a very quick-to-fade red mark, and sometimes you drop a phone on your face and break your fucking jaw.

you offer him a gentle smile that completely washes away the concern in your eyes.

"im fine omi! but you," you reach your hands up to rest on both sides of his face turning his head side to side, studying it intensly.

"you're looking a little pale. and possibly grey."

"how do you mean y/n-chan?"

for such an intelligent man sometimes he really could be a himbo.

"i mean that i think you might be sick, baby."

sakusa stared blankly at you, as if he couldn't fathom the possibility of 'himself, sick?'

"omi? kiyoomi!" you nabbed his attention, "i think you're sick, and we best go home."

"but-" he started, but you were quick to cut him off knowing exactly what he was about to say.

"kiyoomi, it's inevitable. even if you were the worlds most decked out with ppe, and the worlds leading force in hygeine, you'd still end up catching a cold at least once. that's just how the world works baby. and don't worry about the date, all i want is to spend some time with you."

you ended up practically dragging your sad little puppy of a boyfriend back up the complex stairs and into his unit before settling him on the couch and getting to work.

"ill get you some water, you just sit here and relax. i don't want to think about what would happen if those dumbasses didnt have you there next week, bokuto and hinata would probably crack their skulls!" your attempt at a little light hearted humour helped sakusa forget for a moment, but he was quick to go back to not understanding how he was sick.

"thank you." he took the glass from your hand and rested it between his legs, when he noticed the rubber gloves you had clutched at your side. he knew what they were for, those were his cleaning gloves.

"what are you doing? you can't stay you'll..." he paused. "you'll get sick too."

"i'll be fine omi-omi! you just relax and drink lots of water, ill take care of this." you turned towards the wall with a soft smile before muttering, "ill take care of you."

sakusa watched you clean, the bucket full of diluted bleach, the duster, a cloth, and his cleaning gloves. he loved the way that they were too big for you, the way you kept having to pull them up every so often to keep them on. he loved the way that everytime he finished his glass of water, you were right there to fill it back up.

you don't even remember seeing, or hearing him lift himself from his spot on the couch and make his way over to where you were humming and covering the counters in the diluted solution. you felt a pair of big arms wrap around you, a chin on your shoulder and a kiss on your cheek.

"thank you, y/n. i love you."

thank god he caught a cold, or he might never have realized just how lucky he was.

Iwaizumi Hajime

family man

is a family man but not just ANY family man

yes, it's important to him that you like and respect his parents and vice versa

but its just slightly more important to him that you get along with his friends, his found family because im a SUCKER for the classic lilo n stitch trope

he knows that many people say that its his life and he doesn't need anyones approval etc.

but iwaizumi believes different, he believes that he doesn't need approval in the literal sense but rather approval through watching you interact with his friends and his family and how you do your best to learn about them and make time for them, even though you dont have to

and he thinks it's absolutely enthralling

the way your eyes light up when you see that book his mom has been talking about wanting to read and picking it up with no hesitation

how you're able to almost flawlessly keep up with issei and takahiro's antics while also making sure they don't go too far, something even iwaizumi struggles with

and most importantly, how effortlessly you connect with his childhood best friend.

there were many things that Iwaizumi Hajime enjoyed, volleyball, athletics, godzilla of course, spending time with three dumbasses (but he’ll never admit that) and a little while ago, he added you to that list.

you were so effortlessly able to connect with his team, his friends, and his family but most importantly, the way you were able to connect with Oikawa brought a smile to his face.

“oh, iwa-chan~, what are you admiring?” there he went again, Iwa thought, Tohru Oikawa’s dumb smirk and hyper awareness of his team, both on and off court. how he wated to head-butt him in the face. but, he showed restraint. after all, he wouldn’t want loserkawa to use you as a human shield from his head. so, he ignored the urge. but it passed as soon as he saw tohrus arm arond your shoulders, crossed feet and leaning on you ever so slightly while he took a few occasional swigs from his water.

and just like that, the incredible restraint vanished like morning mist.

you could practically see the steam coming off of his hot skin, and the vein popping out of his forehead, when you noticed what had him so heated. “trashykawa get your filthy hands off of my girlfriend!”

“excuse me!” he pouted, “my hands are clean and tailored! just like any responsible setters would be!” he stuck his lip out farther and gave you his irresistable puppy-dog eyes. “y/n-chan, i’m not filthy! am i?” he whined.

and, as the word suggests, his look was truly irresistable and you stumbled over your words. “n-no! of course not tohru!”

“see, iwa-chan! y-n thinks i’m squeaky clean!” his dumb smirk appeared again, and rather than continue with flirtykawas obvious games, Iwa opted for the less violen approach.

“don’t flatter yourself, dirtykawa. she’s just being nice.” he growled. “I’m done for the day, i have a project due. y-n.” he offered his hand to you like the gentleman he is not forcing you to take it, but the look in his eyes told you that he wanted you too.

“see you later, tohru!” you gave him a quick hug and intertwined your fingers with iwa’s.

now, technically, girls aren’t allowed in the boys locker room but since it’s after hours and just you and iwaizumi no one cared. to be fair though, literally no one knew except the team so, whatever you didn’t complain you got to watch yout ultra ripped boyfriend change. quality time. you thought, when you noticed him mid-change with his shirt over his head, resting on his arms. as any good girlfriend would, despite the devil on your shoulder, you came up behind him placing your hands on his seriously broad shoulders. taking notice of the tension, you started to work at the muscles. your care was quickly rewarded with a quiet sigh, and relaxed shoulders.

“hajime?” you continued rubbing at the tight fibers, “are you alright? you’re usually the one telling me im holding too much tension.” you giggled and he turned to face you placing one hand against the side of your face.

“hajime?” it came out shaky and worried.

“i’m okay,” he smiled “it’s just,” hesitation. he was never one to hesitate.

“i know i have no right to be but seeing oikawa so clingy with you it just, i dont know, it really gets to me i guess? he, just, he gets all the girls, all the attention, and i don’t want to-” you stopped him.

“sweetheart, it’s okay to be jealous or upset i’m not going to be angry, you have a right to your feelings. I understand how you feel, i never mean to flirt with him, if i ever have, i mean i don’t know, you know how bad of a flirt i am,” he chuckles at that. “it’s just that i know how important he is to you and you are so, so important to me and i want to be able to understand whats important to you, so you never have to choose between us, because that wouldn’t be fair. i love you, hajime iwaizumi, and everything about you.”

you expected him to be shocked, hell, he thought he would be shocked when or if you said it, but he wasn’t. and that’s exactly how he knew what to say next.

“i love you too, y/n l/n.” pressing a soft kiss against your lips.

“geez, it only took you two a century and forever.” someone snarked.

hajime chucked a towel at him “get out assykawa!” and he did, he bolted through the door laughing like the demon matchmaker he thought he was.

© sacchanwrites, 2021

do not repost, copy, or claim.

previous | next

[samirant]

Hi! I just finished reading Backpfei... again (it was awesome 😍😍😍😍) and I was wondering if you had any headcanons for what happens next, especially everyone's reactions when they find out about JB's relationship 🥰🥰🤣🤣🤗🤗🤗

:D I do, indeed, have headcanons and I’ve played with the idea of writing something out and this message gave me the impetus to do it, so thank you!

Tagging @brynnmck for funsies

Backpfeifengesicht: Ten Minutes Later

Margaery: JOY

Margaery: JOY HILL ANDWER YIIR PHONE

Renly: JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY

Margaery: I CANT BELIEVE SHE IS MISSING THIS. JOY!!!

Renly: SEND IT TO HER

Margaery: I can’t just send it! This requires preparation we aren’t there to catch her if she falls over

Margaery: Think of the children!

Margaery: JOY

Margaery: EITHER PUT ROSALIND DOWN OR HOLD HER REALLY TIGHTLY BEFORE YOU SCROLL DOWN

Renly: shes not kidding joy

Renly: gird yourself 😱

Sansa: Okay with the hysterics. Calm down, for sevens sake. 

Margaery: SANSA DONT THINK INDIDNT NOTICE YOU NOT FREAKING OUT

Margaery: HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME

Sansa: Margaery, I’m sitting right next to you, just speak to me. 

Renly: SANSA KNEW??????

Sansa: I’m right here. In person.

Sansa: And we were a little distracted, in case you don’t remember.

Renly: JACCUSE 😡😡😡😡😡

Joy: Goodness gracious. What in the world is going on?

Margaery: joy!!!!!!!!

Renly: JOY!

Joy: I was setting Rose down for a nap and suddenly my phone went mad. 

Sansa: I am so sorry. 

Renly: YOU BETTER BE 😡🤬😡🤬😡🤬

Sansa: I was speaking to Joy. 

Margaery: joy

Margaery: Joy my love

Margaery: Sit down. 

Joy: I’m becoming concerned. 

Renly: but r you sitting or not???

Joy: I am now. 

Joy: And I’m very concerned. 

Sansa: Don’t be. It’s a very good thing. 

Sansa: These two are just in shock. 

Joy: Margaery? In shock? 

Renly: I KNO RIGHT?!?!

Joy: Renly, less alarming. 

Renly: 😤

Margaery: Without further ado…

Sansa: So much ado. 

Margaery: image.png

Joy: …

Joy: …

Joy: …

Joy: Oh my goodness. 

Renly: RIGHT?!??

Joy: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂😂

Sansa: ?

Joy: Who did that? Tyrion? 

Joy: Jaime? 

Joy: Gods, is this why Brienne punched him? 

Joy: LOL It’s really good!

Sansa: ?????

Renly: 🧐

Margaery: Isnt it absolutely WILD?

Joy: It’s really something. 

Joy: Some of my wedding photos could use touch ups, whoever put that together should give me a hand. 

Joy: That’s hilarious!

Joy: Sorry, Brienne, when you read this, but it’s an excellent mock up.

Renly: …

Sansa: …

Margaery: …

Sansa: Joy. That’s a real picture. 

Renly: TOO REAL

Renly: oh gods i just saw tyrions face

Renly: right there in the corner

Margaery: HAHAHAHA

Margaery: He still looks like that, look at him.

Renly: like hes been smacked on the face with atrout

Joy: You’re joking.

Joy: You must be joking.

Sansa: We definitely are not. 

Joy: But

Joy: No

Margaery: She’s getting it.

Joy: But that’s Jaime and Brienne.

Joy: Kissing. 

Joy: Brienne kissing Jaime.

Joy: My cousin, Jaime.

Renly: do we kno another jaime?

Joy: What?

Joy: WHAT?

Margaery: And now you understand

Joy: WHAT

Sansa: Give her a moment.

Joy: WHAT

Joy: …

Joy: Brienne isn’t answering my texts.

Renly: well yeah shes a little busy

Renly: jaime stole her away

Renly: BECAUSE THEY ARE DATING

Joy: …

Joy: WHAT?

Margaery: Take a seat, take a breath, this is not a drill.

Renly: 🤯

Renly: 🤯🤯🤯

Margaery: Though Sansa APPARENTLY KNEW AND DID NOT BOTHER TO SHARE THE NEW WITH US

Sansa: I didn’t know! Brienne just said something yesterday that made it make sense today.

Joy: But she punched him!

Joy: Like we always warned him she would!

Renly: het mating dances are weird

Sansa: 😑

Sansa: Rude! And not true!

Renly: oh like it matters to you now

Joy: Will someone PLEASE explain this to me? 

Joy: I’m half convinced you’re messing with me because I’m not there. 

Margaery: Definitely not. We’d have Tyrion confirm but he’s refusing to talk to any of us. 

Margaery: Plus: photo evidence

Sansa: OK

Sansa: She did punch him? I think?

Renly: where else would he have gotten the shiners

Sansa: But it seems they’ve been friendly for a while and Jaime’s been visiting her in KL.

Joy: HE HAS?

Sansa: He says they’ve been dating for at least six months.

Margaery: Brienne says six hours.

Sansa: I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle of that.

Renly: with punches 

Joy: I… I am flabbergasted.

Joy: But that sounds exactly like Jaime.

Joy: And Brienne.

Margaery: ANYWAY

Margaery: This morning we were teasing Jaime, it seemed deserved

Renly: overdue

Margaery: And we joked about how he’d have to make it up to her, whatever he did

Sansa: He probably still does.

Margaery: And HE said that maybe Brienne should kiss it better

Renly: AND SHE DID

Margaery: We laughed about it but then Brienne got up and walk

Margaery: Fucks sake Renly just let me tell the story

Margaery: she walked over and kissed him

Renly: the end 

Renly: 😏

Margaery: 😡

Joy: Just like that?

Sansa: Just like that.

Joy: Then they just dropped the bomb that they’ve been dating for - possibly - months?

Renly: hours

Margaery: It’s all very amorphous 

Margaery: But yes

Margaery: They’re dating

Joy: Wow.

Joy: Wooooooow.

Joy: OMG!

Joy: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Joy: JAIME AND BRIENNE!!!

Sansa: It’s very cute. They are so cute. 

Renly: WEIRD

Margaery: Very weird and also very cute

Joy: I’m still processing!

Joy: Gods, I should have known. He mentions her all. The. Time.

Renly: and brienne was a vault

Renly: until this morning

Renly: and perhaps last night

Sansa: Renly.

Renly: tell me im wrong

Renly: if thats not ff hair i dont know what is

Sansa: 😦

Joy: RENLY.

Renly: im not sorry

Joy: You’re never sorry.

Renly: but im consistent

Joy: Very true.

Joy: BRIENNE AND JAIME!!!!!

Joy: 🤩🤩🤩

Renly: they r stupid gross

Renly: n cute

Renly: i admit that

Renly: TYRIONS FACE THO

Joy: Tyrion won’t answer my texts, either.

Renly: he left with tysha

Renly: well he left and she went after him

Renly: very 😵

Renly: i think hesin a fudge

Renly: fugue

Joy: His worldview has been as rocked as ours has. At least you tried to prepare me.

Joy: Brienne, we are going to discuss this. At length. 

Renly: HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Joy: What?

Renly: OMH OMG OMG

Sansa: Oh gods.

Renly: IWAS RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

Sansa: Renly NO.

Margaery: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Renly: RENLY YES

Renly: JON JUST WOKE UP

Joy: Jon?

Sansa: RENLY. NO.

Renly: AND SANSA AND MARGIE TOLD HIM WHAT HE MISSED

Joy: Is that Sansa’s boyfriend?

Sansa: Uh.

Renly: AND HE SAID

Renly: HE SAAAAAAAID

Margaery: He said “is that who i heard in the laundry room last night?”

Renly: IS THAT WHO

Renly: MARGAERY

Margaery: HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT RENLY HMMMM?

Renly: THUNDER STEALER

Joy: No.

Joy: No way.

Joy: NO WAY!

Renly: IS

Renly: THAT

Renly: WHO

Sansa: Don’t say it again. 

Renly: I 

Sansa: Please. 

Renly: HEARD

Renly: IN

Renly: THE

Sansa: Brienne is going to throttle you.

Renly: LAUNDRY

Renly: ROOM

Renly: LAST

Renly: NIGHT

Margaery: I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care.

Renly: !!!!!!!!!!!!

Sansa: BRIENNE WILL READ THIS ALL EVENTUALLY

Renly: THEN MAYBE SHE SHULDNT HAVE HOOKED UP WITH J ON THE WASHING MACHINE

Joy: 😳🤯

Renly: I AM SO PROUD OF YOU B

Renly: SO PROUD

Margaery: 🤯 indeed

Sansa: Is it hooking up if they’re actually together?

Sansa: Brienne, I’m so sorry, I tried to stop him. 

Renly: its certainly not tender lovin on a cold tile floor

Joy: Renly!

Sansa: Sorry, Tyrion, too. I guess.

Margaery: I can see him outside, he still looks like he’s having an apoplexy

Joy: I think we’re having a collective apoplexy, to be honest.

Joy: Oh goodness gracious.

Joy: Brienne. The laundry room?

Renly: maybe jaime needed a hand

Sansa: Renly, enough.

Renly: never

Margaery: I think Tyrion has his phone in his hand.

Margaery: Oops.

Margaery: waves at Tyrion

Joy: I can’t stop laughing.

Joy: The. Laundry. Room.

Tyrion: I am muting this thread. Effective Immediately. Possibly Forever.

Margaery: Tyrion!

Renly: bang bang bangity bang

Sansa: Stop singing, Renly!

Margaery: I said uh bang bang bangity bang!

Sansa: MARGAERY!

Joy: 🤭🤣

Sansa: Brienne is going to have your heads for this.

Sansa: You saw what she did to Jaime and she’s actually dating him.

Joy: 😍🥰😍😘😍😘😍😘😍🥰🥰🥰🥰

Margaery: shes humming along brienen

Sansa: Lies!

Joy: I… might be humming, too.

Renly: its her own fault

Renly: for the bangityness in the laundry room

Renly: but that seems the theme for the week maybe

Renly: love and banging all around except for poor jon

Joy: That’s right! Who is Jon?

Renly: margie this is the prt where you tell her about you and sansa confessin ur undying love

Joy: ...

Joy: WHAT?

(The end.)

[chat-noir-always-here]

I Rewatch Miraculous—Stormy Weather

This post is 90% me gushing over Ladynoir flirting.

• “Aurore Boreal!” Cant tell if that name is creative or lazy...

•anybody else think the talk show host dude (forget his name) kinda looks like Mr. Clean???

• “Oh gosh! W-what am i gonna say to [Adrien?]” uhhhhh how about “hey Adrien how’s the weather?” Or like literally anything. Passing conversations and small talk are only hard if you overthink it.

• “No problem! I’ll look after your little detail for you!” Yeah we’re talking about a child here not a guinea pig. Has Nadja ever even met Alya???

• “She’s an absolute angel!”////heavy sarcasm. Yes most children are.

•Alya that little chin flick you did to Mari had some HEAVY bisexual energy 🎵 🎵🎵

• “Whats the big deal? You only lost by half a million votes.” Lol fucking rude Miraculous Mr. Clean.

•Hawk Moth taps his staff on the ground but says nothing instead of saying “fLy AwAy mY aKuMa AnD eViLiZe hIm” Lol they muted Hawk Moth. Now if only we can borrow some of Miraculous Mr. Clean’s magic erasers and wipe him right out of existence. 

•Aurore getting akumatized is actually kinda intimidating. Compared to most people she saw the akuma coming, tried to fight it off, dark lighting, creepy music etc.

•Stormy Weather’s powers are chilling teehee

• MARINETTE SHUT UP. Cats are paw-esome, you should adopt one. Specifically the hot kitty boi who is constantly making bedroom eyes at you.

•kiddo she didnt promise nothing you just suddenly wanted to go on the marry go round dont lie 🤣🤣🤣

•spaghetti aint that exciting Vincent, you gotta show Adrien pics of Ladybug. (Vincent is Adrien’s photographer’s name. Different from the creepy stalker i’m not looking forward to seeing in a few episodes)

• “the fuck you doing casually eating fruit you’re allergic to?” —Vincent probably. Alya gives zero fucks, Vincent.

• “Is that boy your boyfriend?” Oh Manon thats a loaded question. Besides they are just “friends.” We use the term friend very loosely in this show

•Marinette: looks for an inconspicuous place to transform

Also Marinette: hops behind a park bench with spaces between the planks and openings on all sides. Isn’t even hiding directly behind it, she lands a stone’s throw away

MARINETTTTTTTTE

•Adrien: is puuuuuurfectly concealed in the shade of some trees behind some cases that arent stacked higher than his shins.

Also Adrien: hey HERE’s a great place to transform!!!

This should be included in whatever Miraculous drinking game you play: take a sip every time they transform/de-transform somewhere COMPLETELY VISIBLE

• “Why did I leave Manon? I should have NEVER done that.” Welp you right except if you hadn’t you’d be encased in ice right now and unable to help. 

• “how did you know my name?” Hmm, Manon. That’s an EXCELLENT question. You wanna answer that Ladybug?

• THIS

•THIIIS

•ice queen’s face when she blasts Chat Noir away is me at all the people who dont want to wear their damn masks out in public and get mad when asked to do so

•Chat Noir pinball lol

•chat Noir pancake pttttbbbttt

•hand kisses are lovely and Ladybug be into it

•Giiiiiirl you be flirting! High-key flirting, don’t deny it. Dat sultry look you be making reveals the truuuuth

•  LB your expression does not match what you’re saying😏

(Yeah the gif up there is the French dub translated by the good people over at Miraculous subs tumblr--I like the french dub, fight meeeee)

•LB is no damsel in distress but i need more of kitty boi being her seeing eye cat

•This whole scene ptttbbbttpppt

CN: “Why does she look mad?”

CN: “Oh I still have her hand.”

CN: “Aw she took her hand back. I was enjoying that...”

Ice Queen: exists

CN: “Oh you’re still here?”

• Why the fuck was Mari passed up for Manon??? Manon shouldn’t even be in the photo shoot without someone asking her mom, she’s like what? four? Mari is under age too but she’s at least in high school good grief...

In conclusion: Mari isn’t the best babysitter (just goes to show she isn’t a Mary Sue but a flawed person) and ladynoir has been high key flirting since season one, spread the word. I didn’t want to go through all the trouble of adding screenshots and gifs to this sort of post but it’s essential for this episode. 

[verytiredowl]

A character analysation of IdV’s Bloody Queen

Bloody Queen AKA Mary is a hunter in the mobile/PC game Identity V. She is personally my favorite hunter because she is easy to learn but hard to master. Her backstory is something that has always interested me though, so i decided to compile my thoughts onto this one post.

Something i appreciate about IdV’s character roster is that some of them are based off of historical characters, and interesting ones at that. So expect a lot of history lessons and references that should be explained in order to understand a character fully (especially with Mary considering how there isn’t a lot shown about her backstory through promotional content, and im talking about stuff like the official website here).

With that in mind, let’s just get into it.

There is not a lot we know about Mary other than the fact that she is inspired from a mix of stories, those being about a French queen named Marie Antoinette and Bloody Mary. These two are used in seperate ways, Marie Antoinette’s story being used as heavy inspiration for Mary’s backstory and lore, while Bloody Mary is a visual/gameplay inspiration.

Mary’s description on her info page and on the official idv website is 

This is strange because it really tells little to nothing about Mary besides her being aware that the position of a queen means a lot of vulnerability. It also strikes me as weird because every other hunter has a fleshed out backstory being written under this tab. (With the exception of Guard 26)

So overall, the ground to work on is pretty small, we dont have a lot of info revealed to us, and therefore leaves her to be a character who loses a lot of potential on a writing stance.

Intro Video

Mary does have an introduction video, though, which explains the base of what happened to her Pre-manor. 

The video explains how Mary was the queen of a country that had a bad financial crisis which was so bad people couldn’t afford food (if we are sticking fully to the Marie Antoinette inspo, this was in the 1790′s) and the public felt as if Mary didn’t care enough to help her people, the citizens voted her to be beheaded under a guillotine. Truth be told, Mary was actually trying to help her citizens by giving them cake.

We have probably the most lore information about Mary from her deduction descriptions, which explain her career as a queen more in detail, about struggles she had and her situation in general.

Deductions

(Credits to u/mawile94 on Reddit for the images)

The first conclusion is clearly telling us that the king Mary married had a problematic family, and the king’s family probably only looked at Mary as someone who will keep the family’s name up, someone who will have a child with the king. (Also, dont get confused: Maria Theresia is Mary’s mother’s name, not her actual name.)

Mary used to spend a lot of time away from the palace in Petit Trianon, which is a manor located in Versailles. The secret letter tells us that Mary was egoistic, naive, and was kind of a glutton. The letter mentions how rumors are powerful, and are going to spread really fast once word comes out about the “incompetence” and lacking abilities witihin the royal family, which will eventually be Mary’s demise.

Princess Lamballe is once again a historical recreation of actual Priness Lamballe, a part of the Savoy House (Western EU country). In real life, Lamballe was actually the confidante (someone who you would discuss private matters with as a royal) of Marie Antoinette after her 1 year old marriage came to an end. IRL, Princess Lambelle dies along Marie Antoinette’s side as she gets killed in the French Revolution. 

The shameful secret can really only be assumed to mean that Lamballe was actually Mary’s secret affair, especially looking at how all evidence suggests that the actual royal family Mary is connected to seems to be a mess. Mary is kind of confirmed to be wlw from this deduction which is fucking cool, but this rumor mightve been what also caused Mary to be beheaded. (But, IRL, the king Artois considered Marie to be physicially unattractive or even smart enough for him, in contrary to him, where he apparently was attractive. He did end up making up with quite a number of mistresses. But let’s not get into a conversation about how unhealthy or toxic royal relationships were in the 1700′s)

this is obviously saying Lamballe is being replaced by the Yolande (Countess of Polignac) as her confidante. IRL, this happens because the Countess of Pilognac and Lamballe start having quarrels against each other, in which they try to win over the queen’s heart, and over time Marie ends up preferring Yolande’s company. But Lamballe feels as if Yolande was a bad influence on the queen, yet she could do nothing about it. The friendship between Lamballe and Marie remained regardless, and she constantly admired Lamballe’s loyalty toward her.  "She is the only woman I know who never bears a grudge; neither hatred nor jealousy is to be found in her." 

Mary finally has a child, and it is a girl. Here we see the reinforcement of Lamballe’s loyalty, but with this conclusion also being titled as a rumor, it is also telling that this is one of many reasons people will start getting suspicious of Mary’s possible affairs.  

This conclusion only leads me to believe that one of the several reasons why Mary was treated the way she was by the public was because of jealousy towards her life and the things she achieved at a young age. The description of the people who are spreading the rumors are bitter, sour people who take joy out of seeing the bad in successful people. Here is where it all goes downhill (as evident by the subtitle under the deduction title.)

We will once again need a little bit of a history lesson for this one:

Koblenz, first of all is a city in Germany. The reason why the French would ever think of even setting up anything in Germany was because of the French Immigrants, and the reason why the Germans were cool about this was because the archbishop-elector (one of the chiep bishop electors) was the uncle of Louis XVI-a persecuted king of France. Along with the refugees that entered the city, two of them was Louis XVI’s brothers: The Count of Provence and the Count of Artois. them, along with Louis XVI’s cousin, Prince Louis Joseph formed an army of aristocrats who would seek to fight for the Ancien Regimé (The name of the political and social system that was popular in France at the time.) In the meantime back in France, the Royal Family gave in and decided to adopt the  Constitutional Monarchy, which was very modern at the time. This deduction description just basically explains that this is where Mary and the royal family fucks up, i just thought it would be interesting to know what they actually meant by what they wrote.

Yolande has left behind the Royal Family and made a run to escape the country. If you’re wondering, at the start of the revolution Princess Lamballe was actually in Switzerland, but as soon as she got notified of the situation she revisited the royal family to aid them, and reassumed her position.

This letter in particular is pretty cut-and-clear: the intention of the revolutionists was to smudge the royal family’s name in the dirt once and for all. What real-life anti-monarchist propaganda would consist of at the time was promiscuous imagery of Lamballe and the queen as lovers to further “besmirch” the queen’s reputation.

This is just obviously hinting at the aftermath of the French Revolutions and also telling us the present (at the time the letter was written). Mary gets executed by the Guillotine, and-well we all know how the rest of the story goes.

Overall, Mary’s deduction story is just a short summarization of what actually happened before and during the French Revolution: it even added the details of how actually sketchy and corrupt the royal family within was, not just the dissatisfaction of the public. As a summary of what this meant for Mary, as the Hunter, she feels pure bitterness, and anger towards the citizens for the way they treated her and the people around her. And as we can see, there was no reference towards Bloody Mary what-so-ever, and the reason why that is is because according to the Chinese version of IdV (which is what the original game’s region/language is) Her name actually would translate to “Madame Red”, not Bloody Queen. I think it was just the translators having fun with words, and since her design is very similar to that of what a person would think Bloody Mary looks like, i guess it made sense to them lol

But regardless, we’ll still take a look at Mary’s design.

Mary’s design is simple compared to other hunter designs in IdV. A simple, ball gown which was originally white, but turned red due to Mary’s beheading, pools of blood dropped all over her body. Mary also used to have long hair, but assumed by the very broken looking locks of hair, her hair probably was cut down by the guillotine. Eagle-eyed people will also take notice to her neck, which is stitched back onto the rest of her body, which the designers wanted to include really bad since its prevalent even in concept sketches as well:

Mary’s gameplay design is based solely on mythologies about Bloody Mary, however, which makes things kind of confusing, but i guess thats what idv excels at the most lol

anyway, you’ve reached the end! if you have read this far, thank you so much, i put so much effort and research into this and i hope people will make good use of it. I also hope i made you more interested in playing mary and/or the French Revolution, lol  but thank you for reading this!!

references:

The Count of Artois and the Coming of the French Revolution by Vincent W. Beach 

The Princesse de Lamballe; a biography by Hardy, B. C. (Blanche Christabel)

My history textbooks

And wikipedia lol

[the-family-fortune]

Earlier today Cali asked me quite possibly the worst thing you CAN ask me

And boy howdy did I have some thoughts. 

idk if ive mentioned it here before or not but I have a lot of feelings about the idea of redemption in psy2. I LIKE the idea that no one is beyond redemption, that people can be good and that we are all, at our core, just hurting. and those are the themes that psychonauts plays with. mental illnesses that are seen as "scary" like the inmates (though the inmates themselves are rarely presented as scary, with maybe the exception of Edgar because he's just. huge.) - bipolar mood swings with inexplicable rage, Edgar's anger issues and sheer strength combined into an intimidating figure, and the stigma of multiple personalities like how Fred acts meek one second and then on the warpath the next when he "switches". All of these oooh scary mental illnesses are literally just people grappling with trauma. Edgar's OCD and the trauma from high school, Fred's... weird genetic memory issues, and Gloria's inner critic and the death of her mother. These things are like, Normal People Problems (sorry fred idk what the fuck is up with u buddy ur on another level all together) and really contextualize the inmates' mental illness in a way that emphasizes the main theme of empathy. 

I intentionally leave Boyd out of this because while the root of his mental illness is schizoaffective paranoia, his ROLE as the Milkman and in fact his entire mindscape is the product of Oleander's hypnosis.

So like, I VIBE WITH THAT, its a really really interesting take on the conversation about mental illness and how these things do not make people inherently bad or scary!!

But I feel like, BASED ON WHAT WE KNOW RIGHT NOW, that the Galochios - or, at the very least, Zalto on his own - fall into a different kind of category.

The Galochios from the start are jealous people. They're jealous of the Aquato's fame and think that they deserve more recognition which in and of itself isn't a bad thing per se - wanting to feel appreciated and recognized and seen is just a basic human desire, I think. But jealousy isnt a mental illness. Jealousy is a natural human emotion that we, as rational and empathetic people, must make the conscious choice to deal with in healthy ways. The Galochios don't, and they let that consume them from the start - where they allow themselves to hate the Aquatos for their fame, where they allow themselves to ostracize Marona, where they drive her out of the family and where they attempt to drag her back, it's not the product of mental illness destroying relationships like someone in Edgar's position might experience, but pure pride and jealousy directed towards the Aquato family.

And like from there its just all downhill

And I could argue that from this point things compound to create a mental landscape that maybe isnt the picture of health in the Galochios, because grief can really, really fuck you up, and regardless of how they acted, losing a daughter or a sister when Marona died, could not have been easy.

But I cannot read "the Galochios crowded around the tank to gleefully watch Lazarus's decapitation" and be like "aw they're just hurting 8(" because mental illness is not synonymous with undue cruelty.

Like the Galochios at every turn are presented with A Choice and by god they're determined to make the wrong one. Whether or not this is motivated by grief or jealousy or whatever doesnt matter, because even when you are mentally ill it is still the bare minimum to not gleefully watch someone you dont like get decapitated, u know?

That is, I think, them consumed by jealousy and hate and seeing nothing wrong with it because it benefits them and hurts people they dont like. Thats. that's not mental illness that's just being an asshole

So while I absoLUTEly vibe with Psychonaut's theme of empathy and compassion and understanding that mental illness isnt bad or scary, and that we're all struggling with something, I think that narrative has two sides to it, and the same way that "we're all struggling with something" lends to the idea that we need to extend compassion to others, the Galochios being so stubbornly cruel as to be irredeemable in the narrative of psychonauts two lends to the equally important theme of "but you can not sacrifice yourself for people who do not WANT help"

Because of the nature of the things the Galochios have done (and perhaps, are still doing, as we move into the secrets behind the RoR and Psy2 narrative) I think that it would take a LOT. A LOT. for the writing to pass off a Galochio redemption in a meaningful and complete way, because of the nature of the choices they make. From what I know about them right now, these are not the actions of people who are... hallucinating grandeur or some greater purpose who believe in some hidden agenda like Boyd. From what I can gather and what we already know about the Galochio backstory, this is just the kind of people they are. 

 Now, taking into account Zalto specifically, I can without a doubt see him having some major psychological damage. Like I said earlier, grief can really, really fuck you up, and Zalto experienced more grief than reasonable, all at once, with the tank accident. He was already not the most stable person. ("But Daisy!" I hear you cry, "Augustus lost his entire family in a year and didn't snap like that!" True but look me in the eye and tell me you think he's coped with it in a healthy manner. Augustus experienced unreasonable amounts of grief and as a result his ten year old thinks he wants him dead.)

So if that turns out to be the case, and we see a level where we actually do deal with that grief in a healthy way (which imo would be very interesting to see the trauma of grief treated the same as mental illness - even though we all experience grief at some point, sooooome of us dont quite take it as well as others, whoops!) we could see the baseline path to a Zalto redemption.

But really it all boils down to responsibility for their actions and how they handle their trauma and the fact that eight Aquatos were murdered does not automatically become sympathetic because Zalto was dealing with grief. I personally, would be really interested to see the Galochios as villains end the game as villains and for that stubbornness and unwillingness to accept empathy or help be shown as their downfall, because irl its incredibly unhealthy and self-destructive to refuse help or refuse to SEEK help when you very clearly know that something is hurting you, and that you are in turn hurting others.

I also REALLY don't want them to be given the Oleander treatment.

As much as I love Oleander, I feel like a lot about his character was mismanaged, and he was turned into comedic relief in RoR.

like. A lot of my thoughts on the psy2 narrative as a whole relies heavily on the li-po document of course but the story that we were given IN psy1 vs the story that we are told in the document are so STARKLY different.

"Oleander wants to take over the world because he's angry at tall people from that time from that time his dad killed his bunny, which traumatized him" is NOT the same as "Oleander spent his formative years FIRMLY BELIEVING that his father saw him as a burden because he was small, thought he was nothing better than pig slop, and witnessed the death of an animal that he had a psychic connection to, after which he spent his entire life attempting to make his father proud only to be rejected by every branch of the military. By the time he was finally a Psychonaut and felt he would be able to make his father proud despite his stature, both of his parents died horribly in a meat grinder accident while he was away training." 

 NOT THE SAME HOLY SHIT.

Oleander had so much POTENTIAL but he was kinda shoehorned into a very two-dimensional role. Idk if it was because of budget or time or what, because the production of psy1 was very..... not great. But its absolutely a SHAME to see such a heartbreaking backstory reduced to "short and angry about it"

And it absolutely cheapens his redemption, too.

The fact that Oleander's story was so heavily pruned COMBINED with the fact that - while it's hinted at in game, its honestly INSANELY difficult to put two and two together imo because of how its presented, Ford outright tells us that Oleander's assignment to whispering Rock was the cause of his mental break (the camp sits on a motherload of psitanium. It makes psychics more psychics, and unstable people more unstable.")

that's never once brought into the resolution of Oleander's character arch and the processing of his trauma and how the psychonauts directly contributed to his deteriorating mental state that led him to try and take over the world because they so deeply misunderstand psitanium but decided to build a kids summer camp training facility on top of it

thats like... early experimentation with nuclear materials before we understood the dangers of radiation. Not to stay topical or anything, but its a clearly dangerous substance that the Psychonauts treat very blase.

But to get back on track there, I really hope that if the Galochios DO receive a redemption arc in psy2, which seems likely given the overarching theme of the games themselves even extending to Loboto of all people... I hope they don't butcher it like they did with Oleander's. Given that they've had five years and a LOT more experience with this genre and its storytelling conventions (plus the fact that they're just excellent storytellers to begin with) I have a cautious optimism that whatever happens with the Galochios it will at least be a satisfying conclusion. (For comparison, Oleander's butchered redemption is still kinda held together by the satisfying conclusion of the game, in which Raz actually becomes a Psychonaut so that isnt to say that psy1 didnt have a satisfying conclusion) 

and at this point im sure you're regretting telling me to talk as much as i want because if there's one thing you ought to know about me by now its that i never shut up about the Galochios and honestly I've had a lot of thoughts about them and the themes of Psychonauts and the general structure of storytelling in the Psychonauts games overall.

As for the Galochio family themselves, I'm fascinated to see exactly who survived and what the power structure of the remaining Galochios is. If Zalto makes the final cut, I want VERY badly to know how he treats his family and if his anger has kinda pervaded what was probably a long time ago a relatively tight knit family. I want to see the individuals involved in this, how far they're each willing to go and where that lies in relation to Zalto. Like everyone has their moral limits, and if Zalto is utterly consumed by his goal to either obliterate the Aquatos or resurrect his family (shudder) his tolerance for atrocities may be much higher than that of his family members, which would automatically sow dissonance within the family when one by one people start deciding this is too much, this is too far, we cant keep doing this.

[littleblackqrow]

((I think the most frustrating part of watching people analyze the actions of characters in vol8 is that the biggest complaint is that logic is thrown out the window and I would argue that’s the point. Especially because of the perspective of the show. I really hate to keep picking on Ironwood, Qrow, and RWBY, but those characters are the ones driving the plot, so I guess we gotta.

Lets start with RWBY. They’re kids first off. WBY are all about 19-20 years old and Ruby is 17. Lets start off by saying those are ages not exactly known for smart, long term decision making. Most people that age are trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives, struggling with college, dates, drinking, sex for the first time. They’re stumbling around in adult bodies while still having more or less the mind of a teenager because society has suddenly stopped treating them like a kid and expects them to be an adult. Except instead of having to struggle with decisions about their near future, RWBY is being asked to save the world. If you think you could handle that pressure well at 17-19, you’re lying. 

Does it make their decisions right though? No. The way they treated Ozpin for hiding the worst of his abuse and the fact that his ex-wife was an insane bitch who is functionally immortal is wrong. But again, I ask you, could you handle having all that dumped into your lap in an already stressful situation? The person who should be (and rightly is) condemned for his reaction is Qrow for throwing a punch. No matter how upset you are no hitting. Once you throw a punch in that situation, you’re the bad guy. And until he makes an effort of an apology he’s the bad guy in that situation. 

The biggest problem that team RWBY has is that all of their terrible decisions throughout the show have either been rewarded, or the got bailed out from having to see the real consequences. 

Ozpin allowed Blake to hide her White Fang past and therefore missed the least subtle component of the Fall of Beacon. Things could have been significantly less bad if he’d known about their involvement and was able to send Qrow in to spy on their operations. Maybe he could have figured out what Roman or Adam was up to, realized they were working for Cinder and by extension Salem.

Ozpin allowed team RWBY to do a mission that was a couple grades too advanced for them because he knew they’d break the rules otherwise. That was a tacit acknowledgement that he thought whatever they were up to was alright, and that they had his blessings on whatever it was that they wanted to do.

The best example of terrible decision after terrible decision that RWBYJNR makes is Argus. They have no idea how they’re getting the Relic to Atlas, and they seem road blocked. Jaune suggests stealing an airship, and Qrow, the adult in the room tells them that this is a bad idea, and if it goes bad it has the potential to screw up their entire life. He’s right. The problem is that he’d run off on his bender, and therefore the kids, and we in the audience, are supposed to see this as an unreasonable suggestion. 

However, it plays out as him being right. The incredibly complicated plan did go wrong. Now, they had no reason to suspect at the time that Adam was stalking Blake at the time (and I could go into why thats perfectly ic for him at another date), but there were a lot of moving parts in this plan and literally any of them could have broken. Everything that happened after they put this plan into motion was reactionary. Cordovan, obsessed with showing the Might of Atlas (TM), jumped into the mech suit. At that point, Ruby didnt really have a choice of not breaking it. But the ensuing fight created enough general unease that it summoned a Grimm hoard.

By rights, Argus should have fallen because of their bad decisions and in spire of their best efforts. Instead, Cordovan had a change of heart at the last moment and bailed them out.

This just reinforced the flawed idea that RWBY is always in the right and directly lead to s7′s climax. They are the unstoppable force.

Now you have Ironwood, quite literally the unmovable object, which I now realize is sort of his name. Ha.

Ironwood’s behavior does not come out of nowhere. Since his appearance, he’s had problem stamped all over him. He showed up with an entire goddamn army to a supposedly peaceful event that is to promote unity and the excellence of each kingdom. His rationale is that the people are going to be impressed with his big guns and feel safe. Ozpin gently points out that those big guns also signal to people that there is something out there that those big guns are designed to shoot. 

If its not a Grimm, could it mean that Atlas intends to shoot people?

Remember we’re not even 100 years out from the last World War, one that was basically started by Atlas. People are nervous. There are still grandparents and great grandparents alive today that were kids when the Great War was happening. Not only that but we’re also made aware that Atlas has rolled in the apolitical protectors of the people, the Huntsmen, into its military. This elite fighting force that is basically above the law and can go to any country in the world whenever they want, is now part of the military. The ONLY standing military that Remnant seems to have.

All of this has obviously caused friction in the Inner Circle. Qrow is not quite and never has been quiet about his disdain for James’ heavy handed techniques. Glynda calls James’ actions a dick measuring competition, and Ozpin was trying to be gentle about it, but he was clearly telling Ironwood to get his army off his fucking front lawn. And what did Ironwood do? He’d gone around Ozpin and talked to the Vale council.  They were threatening to remove Oz fro his position because they agreed with Ironwood: he was being too passive. Ironwood even tells Glynda that he cant believe that a man he trusted for so long would just sit by and stand to the side instead of meeting the problem head on. He didnt seem to understand why Qrow would want to go gather intelligence on an operation before sending in the big guns. 

Ironwood has never been a man to put a well thought out plan with all his ducks in a row into motion. This is a man who plows through opposition at every opportunity.

And when we see him again, we can see him steamrolling through opposition again. Somehow he got himself two seats on the council. That gives him an enormous amount of power. And his position as general means that at any point he can declare an emergency and become the de facto dictator of Atlas if he deems it fit. The problem is that he’s having these arguments against Jacques Schnee a man that the audience rightly hates, so he seems reasonable. Who gives a fuck about Jacques loosing business, he’s a dickhead. We’re not noticing the fact that James is consolidating power, or that he’s using that power to make unilateral decisions with no one telling him no.

There’s no one left in the room who is able or willing to tell him that these are bad ideas, that there will be consequences that he cant foresee. His  bullish behavior lead to both Robyn Hill and Jacques Schnee running for an empty council seat, and that created the environment that we walked into in s7.

Now, not all James’ ideas are bad. The Amity Project is actually a really good one, and James is right in wanting to keep it from the general public until its near completion. But you know who should have known? The other fucking council members. Probably the candidates. Playing your cards too close to the chest when you clearly need help and allies is a bad thing. But again, James didnt even trust Ozpin to be able to run his own kingdom, so durr hurr of course he’s the only one who can take care of Amity. And run a kingdom. And run an academy. And protect an ageing, ailing Maiden. And of course he doesnt have time to treat his horrific PTSD from the Fall of Beacon.

So when things go tits up because again, of course they will with a plan that complex James Ironwood doubles the fuck down on his terrible solo decision making. Clearly, non of this is his fault. No one is listening to him. He cannot trust others to make decisions so he’s going to make all of them. There’s no one around him to tell him no, especially because the first person that tried was publicly executed. 

James is scared. He’s had a mental break because of that fear. His paranoia, his PTSD, and the fact that there’s nothing there to help him back to stability means that he’s just going to be bouncing from one terrible choice to the next. He’s Hamlet in the throes of paranoia, heading down a road that is going to get everyone, including himself killed. He is King Lear as the world crumbles around him, acting cruel and making unreasonable, horrible demands of those around him. 

Working with Watts seems like an absolutely terrible idea, but to someone who thinks that he is in control of the situation because he has to be in order to keep functioning, there’s no way that this can bite him in the ass. For James, if no one is willing to follow his orders, he’s going to make them. This attitude is probably exactly why Watts did what he did and joined Salem in the first place. 

So when you combine the unstoppable force of Team RWBY, who’s been told they’re the child saviors of the world, and who’ve been either rewarded or bailed out of their bad decisions against the immovable object of Ironwood and his absolute conviction in himself, you have the mess Atlas is in now.

Honestly I find it kind of brilliant. 

[lightwormlol]

ACOFAS REVIEW -INC SPOILERS

4.5 stars.

Okay, so! This was the first book I was able to finish in 2021. I've kinda been in a reading slump, and struggling to get past the 30-50% of books. I think its because I took essentially 3 months off my normal (daily) reading schedule and have been prioritising other things (health, fitness, job applications etc) - I think it's a testament to how addicted I was to this that I finished and consumed this at the rate I did! I recently went back and added some things to my ACOWAR review. To briefly summarise, I feel that, at the time I read it, it kind of gave me what I needed, but it definitely isn't getting a re read - my love for feysand has definitely lessened over time, but honestly i'm not that mad at sarah for this, as I find that whenever I've passed the sexual tension part of relationships in books, I tend to get bored of the domestic bliss. Like, leave that shit for an epilogue and keep it at that? As someone generally averse to relationships, but there is definitely a grace period for how long I can actively be smitten with a couple... before it becomes sickly. Taking all this into account, I honestly was nervous for this book, its release date totally took me by surprise, and I read it on a whim. As a Nessian shipper (I mean we didn't really have a choice after acomaf but to delve into the world of fanfic to keep us going) - this book gave me most of what I wanted and needed from them! I think,(some) kudos to SJM, for not disappointing in their relationship. This was definitely a character > plot driven story. In terms of the plot, I wasn't really invested until around the 38% mark? I'm not sure if I was adjusting to the writing style (lots of dramatic. sentences. that. are. so. abrupt. Nesta Archeron. Death etc) - or if it was bc I hadn't read an SJM book since the novella, which I basically skimmed. I was obviously reading for Nessian, but I didn't really feel intrigued by the wider plot (death gods, the human queens? Given I had lost my previous obsession with the world/ have outgrown 'fandom' culture, that made me actively update my knowledge, I couldn't remember a lot!) I think its clear that SJM excels character driven stories, but I think her worldbuilding and execution is significantly better in the throne of glass franchise. Now, I did say this was a character driven story. This is mostly regarding Nesta, Cassian and Azriel. I loved pretty much any interaction they had! I love a good training montage. Ngl though, I think, unless you possess an ardent love for Nessian, you're not going to be particularly wowed by this, if you've read heir of fire, or even acomaf. I obviously am never going to be able to be objective, because I've loved nessian so much from 2017-now, but I loved the dynamic those two (and three - friendship wise between nes/cass/az). One of the highlights of ACOWAR for me was the snippets of Az, showing tenderness, and opening up to the newer members of the inner circle (and i'm excluding any hint of an Elriel ship because FUCK THAT LOL) For me, the tip with SJM books is: once you outgrow them/the particular mode of narrative style, is to not anticipate anything other than a character driven story, albeit one riddled with smut. I personally am a romance heavy reader, so I'm honestly deconditioned to it at this point, (like, when I see reviewers scandalised I'm like... wow, the amount of trash I have consumed in the last five years loool.) While I disagree with the fact SJM marketed this series as y/a (or maybe it wasn't her per se, but the key booksellers definitely did this for her) - I think its clear enough now she's descended into the adult/borderline erotica genre.(very mild imo). I personally like to adopt a policy of skimming sex scenes when I find the dialogue cringy (most the time it is lets be honest any talking is v second hand embarrassment). Cassian and Nesta were definitely better than Rhys and Feyre post chapter 55 though! I was so glad there weren't a million moments of Cass/Nesta betraying their arousal with their scents, in front of everyone (like feysand, the voyeuristic pda pricks they are). I found the slowburn ish nature of their relationship great, and I actually think if you're a virgo/emotionally stunted reader, you will be happy with their relationship dynamic. It contrasts with the daemati sexual snark of acomaf, but it felt right, and authentic. This book was a journey of personal growth, for Nesta. It is clear SJM loves books about strong women, and maybe thats what makes me love this book so much. I think, out of all the archeron sisters, I love Nesta the most. This is for my Rose Calloway fans, my misunderstood, somewhat cold/left out girls, who are less receptive to being vulnerable. If you're a slowburn fan, it's not Mariana Zapata levels of slowburn, imo it's the perfect combo. Addictive enough that I don't want to put it down, but not so fast moving that I couldn't believe it. I loved the sex without emotion relationship they had!! This is honestly never done in mainstream n/a fantasy, unless its a caricature of a 'slut' that normally rivals the main character, lmao. Even if their inner conflict was p transparent, this gave me everything I needed! I know this is vapid lol but I also love the physical dynamic between the two, they just look so good together, the amount of fanart I'm going to reacquaint myself with after this review!! I adored seeing Nesta grow, (even if towards the end I kind of resented her sudden acceptance into the inner circle, i get SJM loves her and just wanted a fluffy ending, but, as a Nesta like character, it's awkward and stilted on her end to adjust to the inner circle like this - i mean, hugging rhys, really??)

I think, if I had to compare this to any other SJM book, I would say Chaols book (though I obviously preferred this). That being said, I felt less attached to new characters in this book than I was in even Chaols book (and even then ngl I remember nothing?) Obviously I loved what it represented, as a trio of traumatised women. I just, didn't love this the way I loved other inner circle members! I get that they gave Nesta exactly what they needed, a family that doesn't hold the history of her sisters, who she doesn't have to worry about holding preconceived notions of disappointment. I loved this for her! Even then.. I just wasn't attached to either of them. I found their interactions cute - but boring. Towards the end, when their stories/pasts are revealed, I couldn't help but cringe slightly, I can't put my finger on why, but I just didn't buy it. Maybe it's the brit in me but I couldn't be moved by this slightly forced bonding moment.. which was so anticlimactic. My 'aww how cute' tolerance is defo deserved for characters whose tropes I love. Maybe they just didn't fit into this list. Maybe I'm just being a cow here?

Now, let's speak about the real star of the show.... A FUCKING MAGICAL HOUSE FRIEND??? YESSSSSSS. IF YOU ARE AN ILONA ANDREWS INNKEEPERS CHRONICLES FAN, U WILL LOVE! How was the animation of this somehow more touching than all of nesta's other friendships combined? Exactly what I ordered, thank you. This trope somehow touches more than any material bonding!! The cute witch x house dynamic (also maybe howls moving castle vibes?) I loved the trying to reach the target of 10,000 steps (a little Celaena HOF). I think this, heir of fire and acomaf are my favourite SJM books for this reason. Gripes: I definitely had some personal gripes with how other members of the inner circle treated Nesta (rhys i'm looking at you. Disappointed doesn't even cover it.) I inherently take offence to any elain scene, as i'm so over bland characters whose existence is reduced to wanting to fucking plant flowers?? like?? really? To go from moriel to that is such a downgrade, even if I fell out of love with Mor due to the way she snubbed Nesta (you're a 500 year old being and you can't see someone is clearly traumatised?). I adore Az so much, but if it aint polyamorous, I cannot see any pairing with Elain making me happy. (wouldn’t mind gwyn though) I think the whole mating bond that I do not want is a good dynamic, but I really hate that everyone has to be mates in this world. I don't think we were that surprised, but it would've been nice if the somehow, idk, developed a strong bond over time, without it being preordained? Like, even if they do not all actively stay with their mate, given how disproportionate mates are among the general population, what's the likelihood 6 members of the inner circle (including lucien) have mates?

My advice? Read this book if you love nessian and the acotar world in general, but don't expect the world building to be consistent with greater fantasy series'. This style of story is obviously what to expect. She writes what she likes, and if her fantasy is this - then who are we, as readers, to expect otherwise?

Final rating: 4.5 (no, i'm not objective, but objectivity does not exist if you are a real, human being, lol)

Original Characters: 5/5 (nessian/az/house wise) 1/5 (feysand - really over how they essentially take over the very end of the book - ugh, I wanted nesta's arc to be wholly separate from them) Writing style: 3.5 Cringe Scale: Low, with the exception of some dialogue. New Characters: 2 Plot: I went into it with a 2 and came out with a 4. Not in terms of complexity, but in terms of how addictive and enjoyable this reading experience was! (less)

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

[hanjizung]

Damn the hurting head doesn't sound good :/ drink enough water and get enough sleep please, yeah?

I couldn't remember the mtl idea I had but maybe I have something similar to a mtl I can ask;

I have a friend who once donated blood before driving our little group because we went out to eat; we were all a bit worried about him maybe being too dizzy to drive a car safely and he then told us: "Right now there is still enough blood going into my brain but I can ask my gf to send me a nude and have that blood going other places, if you want to get into a car crash so desperately."

Who in Skz?

Idk if this made sense, I'm just trying to come up with something that wasn't answered by like every other smut writer here on Tumblr 😅

- 🛸

yeah its a side effect of something, ill stop taking it in like one more week, i hope.

ahjnsshjsnjka this idea!!!! thats something very funny and unique i love this! answer below ♡

Most

Minho-Jisung

Changbin-Felix

Hyunjin-Seungmin

Chan-Jeongin

Least

Minho & Jisung: I think Minho’s personality when driving would be playful. Of course he does focus on the road, but hes mostly paying attention to what they say in the car and drop an occasional comment, so when someone mentions that he should let someone else drive he stops in a red light, takes out his phone and says that, laughing when everyone in the car shouts “no!” to stop him. Thats pure minho energy, I tell you. Now, about Jisung, he's a clown and hes always joking around, he would mention asking you for nudes to laugh his ass off even before starting the car, but he wouldnt do it. He would just simply text you during red lights and say that he'd "sexting" with you just to fuck around

Changbin & Lix: Out of these two, I think Changbin would be more likely to be less ashamed of his private life, he'd fake to be annoyed and take out his phone after the nth coment of "you should let ??? drive instead or youll crash the car", the car would go silent and then he'd say "i told y/n to send me nudes, if she sends them ill crash the car" and laugh at the faces the other passangers make ajndka. felix would be the same, with the exception that hes giggling the whole time and cant mantain the lie so everyone in the car laughs and tells him he's a terrible liar.

Hyunjin-Seungmin: hyunjin would be like "im an excellent driver i wont crash the car", but the moment he starts thinking of how the blood on his head could travel somewhere else, he would get distracted from thinking of you and how beautiful you look naked. he'd have to stop the car and admit that the others were right and that he shouldnt have been driving, only to take the opportunity and tell you that he feels bad and that your nudes would cheer him up. seungmin would be similar to him, except that when his mind starts to wander he would immediately tell someone else to drive for him, giving them the keys and trying to think of puppies and kittens to keep from distracting.

Chan & Jeongin: these two... i think chan wouldnt be interested to drive from the start, knowing and being aware that he's not completely fine, but he'd still sit at the front and warn the driver from things he sees on the road. similar to jeongin, i think the first one to make a comment suggesting him to let them drive would make him think again and jeongin would give them the keys, thanking them for taking care of everyone. he'd sit at the back and would probably try to take a nap if hes too tired.

[ghoestys]

i’m literally pulling this out of my ass so if there are errors and stuff doesnt make sense then please myob and pretend like u understand what im saying im trying to do this before i get caught not doing hw he comes at 6 n its 5:43 rn 

statistics

full name: suzy nora yoon nickname(s): su, suz (pronounced like snooze without the n)  age: twenty three date of birth: tba! hometown: tba! gender: cis female religion: athiest sexuality: bisexual hair colour: black/dark brown eye colour: brown height: 5'5″ tattoos: tba! piercings: tba!

prompt + blackmail

a member of the yale's elite, they're twenty-three and a senior undergrad student majoring in aviation engineering. they are as gregarious as they are aimless.

TW DRUGS!  1. to pay for yale's very expensive tuitition, suzy sells weed that's both fake and real, depending on who is buying and if she likes them. she's not a good seller, though, so this hasn't been the best form of income for her. 2. got accepted into the aviation engineering program, but suzy can't complete her homework without the help of drugs to keep her mind focused and creative enough to understand the problems

about 

family/upbringing/childhood/wtvr

so! literally pulling this out of my ass and making things up as i go! suzy was born in a family with her parents (mom & dad), her older sister, and her older brother. the family was strictly middle class and her parents and siblings were very hardworking. her siblings were good at what they did and they excelled in their academics because they tried hard and all that stuff!

growing up, suzy followed her siblings and her parents and was basically a gifted child from the very start. elementary and middle school was not hard for her and she was in all the advanced and gifted programs. the family was calm and there wasn’t anything drastic that removed the peace or caused any disruption at all. like. they were just chillin. 

i think suzy had an average relationship with her parents. they were still asian, so like... it’s as good as it was going to get. she was somewhat close to her siblings, but seeing as they were 5/8 years older than her, the age gap wasn’t that welcoming to the baby of the family. she was kinda just.. having fun on her own being smart n shit. 

anyways! high school! where all gifted kids literally come to die! due to her shit from elem & middle school, she was offered a full ride scholarship to some prestigious school and as asian parents, they were NOT going to reject that free ride to a school that would help ensure suzy’s success in the future. she went from being one of the smartest kids to being another burnt out gift child and high school was fucking ROUGH! 

bitch really had a fucking crisis and burned the fuck out. her not being the smartest bitch anymore literally killed everything in her and she just stopped being that. she met people and what do u know! got into the wrong crowd where drugs and alcohol was everyones bff! 

she got into that pretty heavily by sophomore year i would say. she was just. yea. 

i mean. she was burnt out  but her grades were still fine if u saw them. studying isnt hard for suzy and shes pretty smart, but she wasn’t at the very top of her class anymore and thats what killed her. instead of having straight a’s, suzy was getting b’s and a few c’s. in a family where anything other than an a was acceptable it really just killed suzy some more 

anyways! drugs and alcohol! made her feel good so she did it. she found that weed was the best thing as well as some tranquilizers/anything that relaxed her essentially. she just liked the feeling of floating n not caring or feeling any pressure like. she wanted to b in her own world n shit. 

college/the elites

after graduating high school, she didnt apply to college right away because honestly? drugs and alcohol and a bitch didnt care by her senior year. her grades were not the best and while she couldve gotten into college, she literally had no interest for college and her parents at this point baiscally disowned her so like? who the fuck is gonna pay for her college??

her work ethic is the worst bc shes so careless like. bitch had a shift from 1-7pm and showed up at 5 because she literally didnt feel bothered enough to show up.

anyways a year or so after graduating high school (idk the math rn) she got really high off something and just. did a whole ass application to yale bc she decided to apply for the shits n giggles. wrote a fake letter of recommendation, wrote killer essay and personal reflection shit or wtvr, and even submitted the application with an attached document of her outlining an entire airplane that wouldve been fully functional except for a few tweaks n shit that was needed

she some how got in from that (this is fake this would probs not b real <3 teehee) and bc she was now accepted and going to yale (she accepted high aha a theme for her), she had to think about how to fund for this shit so she decided to get into drug dealing!

which is honestly. not going good like a bitch again has poor work ethics so her as a drug dealer is so.... she literally got into it bc of euphoria bc it looked easy but doing it... is not easy at all but its her only form of funding so she’s doing it. kinda. loosely. please fire her. 

idk where to put this but. suzy is kinda like that girl from the queens gambit where she feels like she needs drugs to function so like she ditches class but she’ll do all her assignments nicely bc she thinks the drugs give her superpowers to b smart n at the top of her academic class again

when shes under the influence of anything she feels like she can function more or like her life is just... better when shes not sober and ull rarely really see her sober like shes usually just on something 

idk where the post is rn bc im too lazy to look for it bc i jsut got a text that he was coming now but!!! its the tweet where a guy was drunk n drew up an entire blue print of an airplane and that is literally fucking suzy i swear to god 

when shes high she’s like the smartest bitch around (shes smart without drugs but doesnt believe that) and can build airplanes n blueprints n solve maths n wtvrs

suzy is truly an asian stem bitch and the sciences and math is where she excels the most!!!! probs won awards n competitions for math and science but doesnt really acknowledge that much becase like... its just not something shes focused on

got into the elites by just making a blueprint of a plane from scratch infront of the twins like. legit just went infront of them, started making the blueprint from scratch to finish n gave it to  them saying here is a blueprint for a new private plane u guys can build for urselves 

personality 

personality wise she is very friendly n goofy n chill n chaotic 

literally a dumbass n honestly really annoying just ask orion 

shes just a stoner having fun doing her life n not really caring about anything like. how she made it to senior year who the fuck knows i really  dont honestly

i think the main way to describe her is bimbo like thats it 

not really into sharing her life and is more of a listener than a talker when it comes to conversations that are genuinely deep and personal. she will not talk to u about her problems and insecurities seriously (maybe she’ll do it in a self deprecating way) unless she trusts u w her life. otherwsie she will keep it to herself n prays that her stoner part will make people believe shes just chillin w no problems

when it comes to conversations about  nonsense n fake deep shit like what is air then suzy will not shut the fuck up like if u wanna talk to someone about nonsense then suzy is truly ur bitch like. a bitch can fucking talk 

doesnt mind being alone bc she has fun on her own but she prefers company more bc she likes having fun and having someone to accompany wtvr she does. whether its for smoking/drinking or hanging out but also just for like... going to class if she chooses to attend and doing everyday errands like groceries or wtvr. she doesnt really do groceries tho bc she just steals orions fodo but when she does choose to go she likes having people with her :) 

she doesnt have a passion for anything bc she doesnt dream of labor but the closest thing about b making airplanes or helicopters like. blueprints  come easy to her n she enjoys making them bc she feels like shes actually capable of something bc shes aware that making them isnt something everyone can do 

u can treat her like a dumbass n she wont call u on it even tho shes kinda smart bc she feels like shes a dumbass

most likely has bad self esteem and feels like a failure but uses drugs n alcohol to ignore that feeling :) 

probs the least judgemental person ull ever meet bc she really doesnt care about what u do like. she hears the secrets getting outted n she doesnt care there r high chances that she’ll still look at u the same way

[marziblogsworld]

'9-1-1 lone star' a series that deals with diversty, mental health issues and also 9-1-1 calls. Here is my review.

So there are two reason why i wanted to explore this series. First its a spin off the original 9-1-1 so like duh had to. Second because or Rob lowe aka Owen Strand the current captain of the 126 Austin Texas. I have seen Rob lowe in Speedy Singhs (i dont know how many of you have watched this) but i loved him so much in that movie, he was the captain of this hockey team (long story). So when i found out that he is in this series i was like hell yeah i wanna see him again and like always he excelled in his role as a captain. A different captain i would say that actually showed what real masculinity is, i was in awe when i found out that he is a fasionista and a broad-minded guy and also straight. I have never seen a man talk so comfortably and proudly about his hair and skin products and i loved it. Like i said a different take is this series

So this series begans with Owen Strands gets transferred with his son Tyler Strand to Texas Austin to start a fire station from scratch after it was abandoned when its whole crew died in a tragic fire accident except Judson Ryder. Now Owen, with him being brought up in New York the cheif wanted some diversty setup in that county so they asked him for transfer and that is where the story begans

I salute and applaud when i saw that Owen hired a trans, a muslim woman, a dyslexic, and his own son who is an addict and homosexual in his team and showed all of them proudly and let me tell you all of them were rejects before in their previous station because of there status and appreances. So i kinda loved that. Owen Strand stood up and shoved a middle finger to the bigotry so👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 *hands down*.

TK! TK! TK! that poor child is like Buck from S3, when the writer decided to put him in a blender. TK got that taste in S1. He has gone through so much in this first season and i still think he needs to talk more since there is alot of things that is still on his chest. Owen and his bond makes me go 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck these two are killing me. I am sucker for that. Poor baby i feel yah and I wanna see him more progress in S2.

At the same time Carlos honey i want your storyline, your footing, your steps in a situation, you were more of a side character rather then the main and please make some friends that reciprocate your feelings. I feel like you were either drag along or being used so many times because you are cop. Carlos please have a story line in S2 i need to see it. There is more in this latina boy than just being cute. Also a little advice take lesson from Athena in how to be a badass okay!.

ASMR lady Michelle Blake whenever you speak i go😴😴😴😴😴 because your voice is soo soft and smooth like silk. You gave me major vibes of Bedelia from Hannibal. Can you i dont know read an audio book for me it will be an amazing bedtime story for me. Michelle is the captain of the EMS team and her storyline revolves around her sister who suddenly disappeared 3 years ago and Michelle is still finding her. To be honest, her storyline was stretched way too much to complete till 10 episodes and then it was wrapped up so fast like wtf i waited 10 episodes for this!!! was my initial reaction.

So even in this series there is a ship and a pretty hyped one 'Tarlos between TK and Carlos so yaaaahh but sadly like BUDDIE was legit everything onscreen the same could not be said about Tarlos even though this is a canon ship. It didn't hit me that way, maybe because alot was happening offscreen and like OMG they haven't even you know what they are for each other. I mean mostly TK because Carlos is literally on the stage to marry him right at the stop but TK due to his own personal problem is dragging him along which really Carlos doesn't deserve but that poor boy is still with him. I mean talk about love. He didnt left TK at all i would say dedication but still Carlos honey get more scene so even i could see what you actually think about that and hey! Tarlos we don't need things happening offscreen. If you wanna talk, kiss or even just a dinner fucking do it onscreen.

Judd Ryder started as an asshole but than is gaining points more than anybody else, huge respect to him and Grace Ryder sweety you are literally a queen. I mean seriously wife goals.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa writers fuck you, i mean how could you, like you literally had the audacity to end the series with 'A Night We Met' why?!? Why?!? would you hurt us like this. 13RW fandom will understand my pain and agrees with me. The whole season aside and that feels of the last scene aside. 🤧.

So thats my review. I cant wait for more of them in S2 and also to share my thoughts and journey with you. Follow me guys for more amazing reviews about your favourite movies, tvshows and books and remember recommendations are open.

[indigo474]

73121- lies and other stuff-

Leave after the first lie. I like that. Excellent advice. When i first read it i took it to mean leave after you tell the first lie. I don't ever want to tell another human being I love them and turn around and lie to them. I've been lied to and i've lied and both are damaging. Without trust what is there? whats the point? Fuck all that rebuilding trust- that shit does not work-

I'm proud of myself. I made it to work every day this week- it was a struggle. I thought about calling out every morning- except today- OT hits different! As much as I think its bullshit how we are programmed to believe spending 8+hrs a day doing whatever to live is total bullshit- i dream of being outside- i can see the clouds moving in the reflection on the glass guards they put up to protect us from each other- covid- ANYWAY- Im so grateful to be working where i am. I get treated so good. I really can't believe it. From the first time i walked into that building i was blown away. i've gotten 2 promotions in 6 months- and i basically do whatever i want. I'm told to do whatever i want. Should i do this or this?? Do what ever you want.. When i started this job it was the hardest thing I have ever had to learn- Now i am the one people come to when they have questions. I feel so fortunate. I see how other people are treated andi have to say THANK YOU GOD!- I mean i do my work- thats the thing i liked about Joe G- compared to the food industry this can hardly be called work... the higher ups get upset about the dumbest shit. One time Joe and i decided to run an experiment with the new phone system-i wasnt sure how to do something and Joe was like lets try it. My call got "stuck" in the que and all hell broke out. It turned into a real thing where Joe had to explain things to our management so they could explain what happened to people outside of the building. Its just a different world - one that pays a hell of a lot better. Speaking of work - my new desk buddy is dying to be my friend. SHe wants to go to the gym with me.

Mads leaves tmw- im going to miss her and worry. Im also going to enjoy my time alone.