#like. dont get me wrong i was really shaken up too

[eclarinet]

same soup... different day

[localapparently]

/ orv main story ending spoilers , mentions of kdj's suicidal mindset

mindless rambling

my friend who just finished orv asked me why kdj couldn't just split like 2% off of himself into an od avatar and leave that in the train while he joined kimcom, and while my initial reaction was "there's no way he could just do that" I remembered i thought a similar thing when I first read through orv too? and maybe it got explained down the line but I forget things real easy (which is why i'm rereading orv) and so I'm just trying to make sense of it using my existing knowledge

There's this bit in epilogue here:

Sangah's words "protecting the world by dividing himself in half, one becomes the reader, one becomes the character". the first being 51 and the second being 49,

I think there are layers to it. Right after being shaken by the OD ordeal, kdj's mindset that he's to blame for the whole world is reinforced stronger than ever before in his head, because he had just witnessed living proof of it. And that's not something he can overcome just because sp and 999 gang took od away to take care of him. Even then, kdj was confused why they weren't angry.

There's also the persisting mindset kdj has that he's twsa's reader and not a proper part of kimcom, and he probably felt like he should bear the burden of consciously continuing to read the world until the very end. He managed to see himself as part of kimcom over the course of the story but od's appearance sort of undoes all that progress he's ever made, and its sad but its pretty common for self hate mindsets to spiral like that,

He probably felt like he deserved it, yet him wanting that extra 2% difference to prove he knew and loved kimcom more than his avatar. Him regretting splitting in half right after the avatar left and he saw them all walking away. He knows what he wants and in the end he can't bring himself to think that he deserves it

And honestly I don't really know why the way singshong writes kdj's self hate and suicidal tendencies get me so badly, I mean I do, kind of, the feeling is there, but it's incredible how long the set up was and how real it feels when you see it all go downhill.

i think od reveal truly truly fucked up kdj to no repair. like if you read the passages, its fucking heartbreaking.

"My own tragedy couldn't even compare to their pain. The sin of creating an even bigger tragedy because of my own should not be forgiven." "Something was wrong. A blade… I, I needed to find a blade."

and the thing that gets to me is how easily anyone who has had self loathing thoughts can empathise with him. The want to disappear for inconveniencing things that would've been perfectly fine and pretty and happy had you not come into contact with it, the idea that you are a disgusting monster and its easier to shut yourself off than do any more damage. and its Fine if youre in pain because They will be happy and theyll will be happier without you.

It fascinates me how a portion of readers of orv who self blame or self doubt love kdj so much, because the act of loving him is also some form of self reassurance that they can be loved as well, because if someone like kdj can be forgiven, then surely they can, for all their small or big mistakes that are definitely not on the scale of plunging the universe into a space apocalypse. or something.

but i might be assuming so. don't take my word for any of this.

tldr he doesnt split out a small avatar to take the place of od because he thinks he deserves it. which is quite obvious if you take a look at the big picture, and i dont really know why i rambled so long. maybe ill reread orv and theres gona be a small bit that's like "ohh well actually if it was too small of a percentage that became od the universe wont hold up" and i will be like Ah yes i just missed that part. and this ramble will be void. uhh yes. have a nice day

[pastelbluecloudy3]

Hello! I have sort of an angst request for Hantengu and Gyokko. If you’re not comfortable with it that’s totally understandable and I’m sorry if this requests hurts you. Trigger Warning- I had an uncle a while back who was acting weird towards me. He didn’t do anything thankfully, but he did touch my arm and it felt weird. Can you do a scenario where their S/O comes back shaken up from the market and they’re pestering her about it and she finally tells them what happened and that she saw him again in a market, and he tried to talk to her and she got scared and went away. What would they do? Again, I’m really sorry if this request is too much and it hurts you.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 💙 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚗. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕!

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙶𝚢𝚘𝚔𝚔𝚘 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛, 𝙷𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚞 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛(𝚑��𝚜 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚘𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚣𝚘𝚑𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚗.)

WARNINGS: 𝚐𝚘𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝! 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏!

He was worried for what took you longer than 20 minutes. He was all over you once you got home to be with him. But he noticed you were... Uncomfortable. He only sent you to the market to buy more food and a couple of paint supplies. He knew he shouldve went with you after you showed up barely having anything with you.

"My little art work! What seems to be the problem? You don't seem as happy as you were when you left." He was nervous. Maybe you seen a demon slayer that was asking you questions? Or even worse. A hashira? He knew you would never betray him like that. Right? "My art piece.. Please tell me?" Before you started speaking tears started swelling in your eyes threatening to fall down your cheeks."I saw him.. He tried talking.. Then got closer.. I was scared so I ran.. "

Oh he was mad. Not even mad. Enraged. How could he come back to mess with you again. He should've went with you. He doesnt want you experiencing that. He was happy you came home in one piece. But that guy surely was gonna be found in pieces. "My little art work.. Please stay here and calm down. I'll be back." he stated before teleporting where ever he would go. Before you knew it. Gyokko in his full form. Holding his Decapitated and bloody head. He was giggling with both of his mouths covered in the deep red blood that came from your ex.

He held you close to him because he wanted to keep you safe and comfortable. He already ate the decapitated head so he didnt really care about whats gonna happen next. All that he knew was that you are his and he is yours.

He only told you to go to the market to buy food? Why did you look like you seen a ghost. "Y/n?..w-why do you look so scared...is it from me?.." He questions you but saw how you we're about to cry. He was in fear.. He didnt want to see you shedding tears?... What happened was then he split into those 4 clones.

"What happened? Stop crying dammit!" Sekido yells at you. Hes concerned but he cant really show it. " You dont have to yell at her.. She seems sad... Is there something wrong Y/n?". Aizetsu responds back. "I saw him... I saw him again.. " tears falling slowly onto the wooden floor. They all felt rage because they never wanted to see you like this. They never saw a joyful and caring person like you cry. "What do you mean you saw him? Are you hurt? Are you ok? Please. Tell me where he lives. " The pleasure demon. Karaku says. Urogi starts speaking. "Poor guy is probably still at the store! Should we pay him a visit? ""Of course we should! We can see how he would enjoy seeing his limbs get ripped off!"

The door then gets broken down." You took too long. It wasn't hard to just go." Zohakuten spoke with the head of the guy you wished you never saw. All of them spent the time comforting you telling you he was gone forever and never to come back. You felt safe with them and they were happy to know you were safe to stay with them. Zohakuten and the rest of the clones started eating the guy so you would never see him again.. I mean hey? Its affection and caring for you.. Right?

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

𝙸𝚖 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐! 𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚔𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚜. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚘𝚘. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜! 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 ��� 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛! 𝙱𝚢𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍 💙✨🫶🏾

[cammy-mcspammy]

Tw vent, sch00l shootings, depression, mentions of S/A and abus3.. overdose, death talk?

Err, this post might be a little long- I'm writing out what happened.

I'm still processing this so I'm sorry if my art isn't sparkly cute or this isn't a pretty post. I normally dont speak about my life but I needed an outlet to speak about this. I'm still very shaken up so I'm sorry if this comes out randomly.

I uh, experienced something pretty traumatizing today. A party I was prepared for and even did my nails and freaked out about dresses and laughed with my friend groups basically just.. turned into hell. From the start theres videos of me at taco bell with friends, seeing and meeting up to music and all- before i realized i might of di3d today. And I HARDLY draw vent art or cry in front of people but- one of my friends ran up as the music paused and told us somebody had a gun. I just ran.

All I can really remember is calling my family and saying goodbye as I pushed by a crowd of people sobbing and screaming. It was horrible. I mean, I have a fear of death like no other and well- I was having about six panic attacks and adrenaline. I ignored all my friends shouting for me and just RAN. I don't know where, I just shoved whoever it was and hid.

I heard a few people in the group couldn't be found until much later and I was practically sobbing once I get out of a wall I was hiding behind, deciding to start calling my family. I could hear my mother trying to understand my sobs of "I'm so sorry" for everything. Even the abuse she put me through, I know i caused so much trouble for her too. I was practically sobbing out my goodbyes as my friends tried to comfort me. It was humiliating to cry in public, something I swore I'd never do again but SURE ENOUGH I was sobbing on whoever would comfort me.

I called my mom, and then my brother- who practically started screaming and sobbing about me. It made me comforted to see him rush out and drive to me, calling the police like so many others did, and sob to me like I was already dead. It was surreal, I could hardly notice the pain in my shoes or the stupid flowers my friends dad got me.

It was traumatizing. Just like my S/A or my parents abuse all together, i could see multiple cop cars and rumors spread around and I just felt numb? I couldn't breathe at all and all I could really do was sob again and again. I feared my life for the first time.

I remember when the music stopped I thought it was some fight. A kid already had gotten an overdose and two kids got caught getting handsy in a bathroom stall- I assumed it was some dramatic thing that happened at a party. Not a shooting.

When my brother rushed past a ton of red lights and my mother ran out of her party gathering, my father was already gone a country away getting his surgery. I didn't care, I called him and by all the stress and sobbing I thought he didn't care. I was so wrong about this and I'm honestly thankful nobody got hurt. I remember my brother just pulling over and hugging me when I got in the car, sobbing into my shoulder and freaking out more then I ever did.

He promised he'd buy me whatever I wanted, and I said some stupid fast food place. By the time we were far from the conflict and I called my family to tell them I was okay- it was weird. I just couldn't stop laughing and sobbing, when we got home we watched sonic and it felt so- surreal. Like I could of died and never got to see movies or my parents ever again. I was texting friends, informing people of what happened, and trying to understand through all these different voices what happened. But by then I shut my phone off and just let my mom cry into my shoulder.

I urge people to talk to their families and well- I don't know really. Take into account shit like this can happen, especially in private schools in America. Some idiot can threaten out their gun and ruin a night that was meant to be fun. This fueled my growing fear of death at every turn, so I fear this might make me fall into another depression pit. I already see my friends moving on and I feel stupid- so I wanted to vent about it to just- bring those feelings out there.

Love your family.

[narinni]

Hi can you write a Jerma x reader where the reader hates thunderstorms and gets cute and cuddly together with him and he helps distract them from the storm? <3

help this was so much fun to write, literally so cute

Thunderstorms and TV

The entire night went by so fast. As nervous as you where when you first arrived at Jeremy’s house, you relaxed quickly. Something about his presence had always been so comforting to you. Seeing as tonight was only the second time you’ve spent the night together, and the first time you’ve slept at his home, you would should’ve felt jittery. But not tonight. It seemed as if everything was rolling along easily. Throughout the course of the night you played video games, played with Otto, and binged several movies. Jeremy even cooked for you, which was rare seeing as you where usually the one to cook. Everything seemed perfect, like a fantasy. Nothing could go wrong. You shifted closer to Jeremy as the two of you watched another movie together. He seemed almost too immerced in the movie to notice, but seconds later he slings an arm on the top of the couch, just above your head. You release a deep breath, feeling as content as can be. Just then you hear a loud crack tearing you from your bliss. Your head twitches in the direction of the sound, looking out of the window into the darkness outside. You see a bright light flash, the hear another crack. You where having too much fun with Jeremy to hear the rumbling of the sky, foreshadowing a stormy night. Your heart sinks into your chest, and you try to distract yourself by turning to watch the movie. You don’t get very far before hear another obnoxious snap. The anxiety building in the pit of your stomach rises. How embarrassing. Despite being relatively open with Jeremy, you have yet to tell him of your fear of thunderstorms. It’s the flashing light and the unexpected but loud claps that makes cortisole pump through your system. You cringe at the idea of Jeremy seeing you scared of thunder. As you think, Jeremy shifts his attention over to you. You moved away from him ever so slightly, which he took notice of. Your hushed, but panicked expression and your wide eyes darting around the room, is something he also took notice of. He quickly put the pieces together and decides to take action. He leans closer to you and places his hand on your shoulder, which he now noticed was trembling.

“You okay?” The sincerity in his voice almost empowered you enough to lie and confidently say you where fine, but another, louder crack of lightning leaves you shaken. You can only respond with a, “Y-yeah”, your voice cracking halfway in between. You mentally ridiculed yourself for how pathetic you sounded. Jeremy’s heart ached a little when he heard your response. He knows your lying, and asks again, “Baby, are you sure you’re okay? You know you can tell me”, with the hand grasping your shoulder, he uses his thumb to stroke it. You look down in shame as your cheeks begin to flush.

“I…No, not really, I just…dont like thunder” Your voice wavers and your cheeks flush harder. Jeremy’s face softens, and you swear he almost coos.

“I’m sorry baby”, his eyes trail around the room in thought, “I’ll make you feel better. Promise”. You look up at him in curiosity, and he takes the opportunity to pull you close to him. You’re not used to being so close to him, and you stiffen like a board under his touch, but your body soon relaxes as he guides your head to his shoulder. His arms encase your body, and you can feel the warmth radiating from his body. His head turns to yours and you look up at him, only to be met with his lips pecking your forehead. The sensation melts your anxiety away and you feel almost as if you’re sinking into him. You can hear the steady rythm of his heartbeat, it’s so loud against your ears that it almost completely block out the sound of the thunder. Like a lullaby, his heartbeat, and the occasional stroking of your hair lulls you to sleep, and you find it almost impossible to keep your eyes open. As you drift off to sleep in Jeremy’s arms, he looks down at you. Adoration swells in his chest, and he’s almost proud that he was able to quell your fears. He rests his head on top of yours and follows you to sleep. As you drift further into sleep, you are met with a rather heartwarming thought: Maybe the thunder isn’t so scary when he’s with you.

———————————————————————

[miahxrrington-blog]

I miss, you

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ ⋆ ˚｡⋆

steve Harrington x henderson reader

warnings- angst (and un prof read work promise I’ll do it later I’m just really tired

also feel free to leave feed back this is my first time writing anything like this and feed back would be great fully appreciated practice makes perfect!

summary: steve and reader had broken up they now have to fight these supernatural beings together what happens when dustin confronts steve while y/n’s in the car and asks him about how he basically threw himself at nancy

I had broken up with steve a month ago its not that i didn’t love him still. it’s more that i knew he didn’t love me. his heart belonged to someone else. and i was foolish to think that someone was me.

because how could steve harrington ever love me. when he still not over his first love. at first I thought it was in my head. but i see the way they look at each other. the stolen glances here and there. and who was i to deny him the person he truly wants to be with.

so i had to let him go. because i loved him. and he loved her. he always has and always will.

it was the spring of 86 and once again we had gotten sucked into fighting the supernatural once again.

we had just been in the shed that eddie was staying in when we started hearing sirens with confused glances towards each other we look outside and see a bunch of police cruisers. we quickly tell eddie to hide under the tarp while we go investigate.

we all get in steve’s car and I get into the front seat while robin and the kids sit in the back. dustin and max look shaken up.

“hey it’s gonna be okay.” I console them turning around to look at them.

once we get to the scene, we quickly recognize a familiar face. nance. what was she doing there? I wondered. she gives steve a little wave and nods at him.

which steve returns.

we all make our way to the trailer park in which most of these events have taken place. we all sit at a picnic table I take a seat by steve being as thats the only seat that was left. I smile at him and then return to the conversation at hand. it doesn’t have to be awkward.

right?

“so you’re saying this thing that killed fred and chrissy is from the upside down?” asks nancy

“if the shoe fits.” mentions steve

“our working theory is that he attacks with a spell or a curse. and whether or not he’s doing the bidding of the mindflayer or just love killing teens, we don’t know. ” dustin says trying his best to fill her in.

“all we know is that this is something different. something new” I mention.

“this doesn’t make any sense.” said a confused nancy

“it’s only a theory” reassures my brother

“no fred and chrissy don’t make sense. I mean why why them.” said nancy trying to figure out what the connection was.

“maybe they were just in the wrong place.” I answered

“they were both at the game”

“and near the trailer park” said dustin and max listing things on how this could all be related

“were at the trailer park. should we maybe not be here?” asks a concerned steve

“fred started acting weird the second we got here” said nancy

“acting weird as in??” asked robin

“scared, on edge, upset.”

“max said chrissy was upset too.” said my brother

“yea but not here. she was crying in the bathroom at school” adds max

“serial killers stalk there pray before they strike right? so maybe fred and chrissy say this vecman ” asks robin

“vecna” corrects my brother.

“i dont know about you guys but if I saw some freaky wizard monster, I would mention it to someone.” says steve I nodded agreeing with him

“maybe they did. I saw chrissy leaving ms. kelly’s office. if you saw a monster you wouldn’t go to the police they’d never believe you. but you might go to your.”

“your shrink” I said finishing max’s sentence

once we were all done talking we headed to steve’s car. nancy clearly taking a different direction. i started opening the car door when i heard a

concerned steve yell over at nance

“whoa. whoa, nance, nance! where you going.” he asks. ouch. i try not to let this affect me. I mean isn’t this what I wanted. and more importantly what he wanted. I ignore the pain in my chest.

“something I wanna check on first” she answers

“something you wanna share with us?” asks my brother

“I mean yea I thought we were all in this together.” I say

“I don’t wanna waste your time, it’s a real shot in the dark.”

“yea, okay are you out of your mind? flying solo with this vecna creep on the loose no it’s too dangerous, you need, you need some to” steve tried to think of something

robin stares at me and clearly sees my discomfort.

steve then tosses his keys to robin.

“here. I’ll stick with nance, you guys take the car, check out the shrink.” if only he was that persistent when we broke up. I thought rolling my eyes at his behavior.

“I don’t think u want me driving your car” says robin

“why?” asks steve

“I don’t have my license.”

“why don’t you have a liscense”

“because im poor.”

“I can drive” says max

“no, no, no never again. please. anybody but you no.” said steve persistently

“alright just give the keys to henderson.” my brother raises his eyebrows and reachers for the keys.

“no obviously not you dipshit your sister”

“I mean yea I could drive but I don’t necessarily have my license either. are you sure you want to trust me with your car?”

“you’ve driven my car plenty of times I trust you.” said steve reminiscing those times he would teach you how to drive when you were first considering getting your license.

robin then stares at me obviously noticing I didn’t want him to leave with her. robin didnt really understand steve and how so clearly he could’ve chosen you the girl he loves but he keeps doing stupid shit like this.

“alright this is stupid.” said robin grabbing dustins walkie to insure we have communication she smiles and winks at me.

“us ladies will stick together. unless you think we need you to protect us.” I snort which then causes steve to glare at me they both make there ways to nancys station wagon.

my heart aches.

“be careful.” steve yells

ouch. see I was okay with them being together but them rubbing it in my face like this hurt. and maybe it wasn’t intentional all I knew is I never wanted to see this again.

“your just gonna stand there and gawk harrington.” noticing the same thing i noticed

“shut up.” answers steve

I enter the front steve of the car while dustin and max head for the back. I roll my eyes.

“why don’t we go okay?”

“shut up and get in the car and wipe your feet.”

“on the outside not the inside.” says steve in a disappointed mom tone I laugh

steve eventually get in the car.

“always the babysitter. always goddamn babysitter!” he hits the steering wheel.

we arrive at ms. kellys house and we watch from the car as she goes inside

“okay. she’s in”

“we can see that. im missing collarbones not my eyes.”

“so…. dustin continues. we gonna talk about it?”

“im sorry talk about what?” asks steve

“your temporary insanity earlier today when you basically threw yourself at nance.”

i snort.

“that’s not what happened.” steve mutters

“pretty sure that’s what happened it was pretty public. there were a lot of witnesses including my sister.”

“don’t bring me into this.” I say

“are you implying I have a thing for nance?” asked steve

“no im not implying. im stating as it relates to your steadfast refusal to get back together with my sister it’s pretty much the only logical explanation.”

“no way your the one putting these ideas in your sisters head henderson? that im still into fucking nancy”

“I don’t know steve you tell me”

“why are we talking about this situation as if I’m not here.” You mention

“no because you and your brother seem have this stupid idea that im still in love with nancy when so clearly the only person i care for is u.”

“steve can we not do this while my brothers in the car. please.” you pleaded tears threatening to fall out of my eyes

“alright so get out and cover your ears henderson. the adults need to speak ” he rolled his eyes looking out the window

“steve i promise we’ll speak later can we just focus on max.” I asked he nodded and we continued on our journey.

—————

later in the day we made to nancys house we all had to keep an eye on max after everything we had just found out.

once all the kids were sleeping and only me and steve were awake he dragged me to the bathroom and locked the door.

“ we’re talking and I swear to god if henderson is putting ideas into your head that I’m in love with nancy-“

“steve it’s not dustin it’s everyone, we all notice the way you look at her you never look at me that. ever.”

“I don’t want to be in the middle of that you deserve better.”

“baby…..” steve whispers holding my face as he sees the tears I push him off.

“no steve i can’t keep dating someone who is still in love with someone else. I mean look crazy you got back at the trailer park”

“because she’s a friend and I care about her. I don’t see a future with her y/n I see it with you.”

“steve you can’t say things like that.”

“y/n im serious I see you being mrs. harrington one day and carrying my babies. I don’t see that with nancy I see it with you. and im tired of fighting because I miss you. and im sorry if I haven’t been verbal about how much you mean to me y/n but your my entire world..” I stare at him letting him console my cheek while starring into my eyes

“not nancy. you henderson. and I’d kill my self before I’d ever let anything happen to you.”

“im sorry…”

“it’s okay baby it’s, okay just come here.” he says pulling me in for a hug.

[valentine-writes]

be a valentino, just for you

[ tws + notes: no tws, fluff, what if i told u reader had that DAWG in em, ur jus a lil charmer! ]

↳ ft. the glamrocks + sundrop/sun & moondrop/moon

「 gn! reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

author's note: reader flirting w/ the animatronics. unparalleled charisma. look at you go u flirt!!!!!! (*´꒳`*) unedited and still Not Serious becuz i like goofin off <;3 i had to search up "cute pick up lines" for this. thoroughly embarrassed but. shhh. we stay silly :3 also why are u rizzin up tha robots?!!.??, /lh

GLAMROCK CHICA headcanons:

▸ she's completely unphased im gonna b real w/ u,,,, if ur goal was 2 fluster her u failed!!! i am sorry!!!! :(

▸ her reaction isn't really to get all blushy and shy– itz to giggle and tell you how absolutely adorable u are!! shez all like "oh my gosh u rly are jus the sweetest!!" as u try desperately to convey how u feel,,, i dont think she's oblivious!! jus that she's more casual abt this kinda stuff

▸ loveeesss cheesy pickup lines tho. she'll be thinking abt it all day if u decide to use one on her. mainly becuz she thinks they r silly and adorbz (LIKE YOU!!!!)

▸ if you use pickup lines often w/ her, eventually, she's gonna wanna do the same!!

unexpectedly one day she just goes "wait! wait wait, i got one for you too– ahem... i think i need to go to parts and services to fix my eyes– i can't seem to take them off of you!"

more hcs under the cut!!

GLAMROCK FREDDY headcanons:

▸ letz get this straight. this guy is a professional. he will very nicely and gently pretend to not notice your comments if you decide to flirt when he's doin his job. he is desperately trying not to have reaction

▸ however– if you guys are alone, if the plex has closed, etc, etc– bro. you got him blushing and giggling and shii,,, i think itz a little funnee :] u jus catch him off guard all the time with it.

▸ "i'm very flattered you'd say that" all while overheating. he may collapse. please spare his heart. he has not even the slightest idea on how to react to your charm

▸ really, he does find it endearing and enjoys how bold you are. he just can't seem to find a way to react other than luvstruck!!!! u got him wrapped around ur finger

ROXANNE WOLF headcanons:

▸ ok this goes two wayz. she scoffs at you and goes "yeah ofc u love me" OR.,,...,.. she gets all flustered and nervous

▸ i feel like the first few times you flirted w/ her, she managed to played it off cool. maybe a cocky remark, a little smirk, brushes it off– no big deal to her at all!!!

▸ hah. wrong. you've got her in her charging chamber thinking abt the thingz you've told her. animatronic equivalent of lying awake in bed Thinking,,,, when she realizes ur Genuine abt ur feelings... she jus,, like,.,. EXPOLIDOEJEODKEKZ

▸ that iz when she getz all shy!!!! like "ok, ok, shut up..." and shes looking away all nervy. always secretly worried ur jus messing w/ her– but reassure her otherwise in a genuine manner and she's. well. probably short circuiting.

give her a bit. she'll be able to communicate her feelings eventually (´u｀;) ?

MONTGOMERY GATOR headcanons:

▸ trust u were NOT tha first one 2 flirt if u caught his eye like that,,, maybe he's a little more subtle in the start. but the minute u pick up the clues and flirt back?? he iz so Caught Offguard

▸ HEZ USED TO BEING THE ONE WHO FLIRTS. NOT THE ONE WHO GETS FLIRTED WITH. he winks at you, you shoot one back– he freezes and immediately Walks Away like ok,,, no confronting the Feelings just felt there ig,.,..,

▸ your charisma has him shaken. he's considerably good at keeping calm abt ur little exchanges until he's alone in his green room thinking abt what you've said,,, wondering if u were bein earnest

▸ i feel like he often uses flirting as a way of like,, disguising his feelings as jus goofing off but,, once you two are Finally done beating around the bush w/ each other i fear you two would become insufferable to anyone else who is in the same room as you /j he getz a lot more emotionally open 2 u ^_^

SUN headcanons:

▸ if he already didn't know what to do with himeself and his feeling towards u,,, he iz DOUBLE confused now. never quite knows how to react to you.

▸ of course NEVER when he's working. no. nuh uh. but if it's jus the two of you and you decide to flirt,,, hhhnnghehehdb,,,, he iz jus SWOONING. heads over heels for REALSIES. will have his faceplate spinning as he giggles, thinking abt you and what u say

▸ i think he'd actually burst into tears if u were jus messin w/ him. just. instant sobbing on the ground. he's never met anyone with such a captivating personality– nor has he actually ever been flirted with

▸ always wishes he was jus as smooth as you. tries to flirt back but messes up the delivery and ends up making a fool outta himself A FOOL FOR YOU

MOON headcanons:

▸ makes you stand in the corner to reflect on your actions. i wanna say slash jay,,, but. well. anyways..

▸ moon does not do well with this. not at all. will tell you to knock it off or just shush you. he acts like he doesn't got time 4 ur antics he does and acts like if you stopped he wouldn't care he,,, might??.,..,. no one is ever this friendly or nice to him,,

▸ eventually, he just seems to ignore ur flirtatious actions and words completely. he's definitely not Unfazed though,,.,.. it'll be thinking of whether u really mean what you've been tellin him. worried to make a fool of himself LIKE SUN so it's easier for him to assume ur jus kiddin around

▸ if you ever choose to look him in the eye and tell him that you sincerely mean everything u say though?? yeah he's. he's gonna need a moment. terrible at processing Every Emotion He'll Start To Feel if that happens

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw: SA, R

Hi, I don’t really know how to talk about so sorry if it’s too messy

A few days ago I was assaulted violently by a friend who is also a lover, that I hold very dearly to me and really love.

We got out to a club a got reaaly drunk, him more than me, a lot more, he was blackout drunk. After we came to were I live because he was sleeping over, we took our clothes off to lay down and sleep, or so I tought but he wanted to have sex but I didn’t, I said now and tried to get away but he wasn’t haven’t it and slaped me and forced me, this happened many times in this night until I gave up because it was hurting to much (we have had rough sexual relations before things like BDSM) .

I don’t really think that he was doing on purpose or even noticed that he was raping me, because he reaaly was so drunk he wasn’t making sense some times, I think he just tought we were having rough sex, he before was always respectful and even reluctant about doing things until he really knew it was okay.

The next morning he didn’t remember anything I told him what happed because he was accting like nothing had happed, he tought we only slept and nothing more

He is/was absolutely devastated and shaken like I am

I don’t want to stop talking to him or too change what we have because of what happed

But Im so lust and hurting he is the only person I have to talk about it or to help me but I dont want to hurt him either and talking about it makes him feel bad because of what he did and is not being able to hear me giving me proper support because of it

He is trying to but he panics and is scared of hurting me again and don’t know what to think or how to deal with what happened

I don’t know how to deal mentally either I don’t know whta to think or what should I do. Am I wrong to want to be with him still? I feel so shattered and jumping moods and it seems like everything is difficult to do? Im so lost and scared. My boody is in high alert and acting like im fiscally sick.

I think Im seeking for comfort, advice

Sry if I was not very clear

Im not able to seek teraphy right now unfortunately

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Please know that no matter how drunk or otherwise under the influence someone is, they are still responsible for their own actions. Just because he may have been too drunk to even "notice" he was raping you doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to feel the ways you feel about it, it doesn't mean you're not allowed to have a problem with what happened, and it doesn't mean that he is absolved of accountability, even if he claims to not remember. It still happened. So with that said, it's okay to talk about it even if it hurts him, because it's your truth, other people's feelings are not your responsibility, and he honestly deserves to feel bad about what he did.

It's okay to have mixed feelings towards him right now. He's someone you've been trusting deeply, but he also hurt you deeply. It's hard to know how to feel and that's okay. It's only been a few days since what happened, so allow yourself the time and space to heal at your own pace.

You're not wrong for wanting to be with him still. That being said, I'm wondering if the things you're experiencing are being exacerbated by his presence. Often times, when something like this happens, our abusers themselves can become a trigger, as our bodies learn from experience that this person may not be safe to be around, and so to be on high alert. That can also mean other physical symptoms of anxiety or panic. Just listen to your gut feeling about whether or not it's a good idea to stay around or in contact with him. That's ultimately up to you to decide.

Please make sure to take care of yourself during this time. Be patient and gentile with yourself, and practice self care, whether that means going for a walk, taking a bath, listening to music you enjoy, doing something fun, and resting well.

If anyone has any other suggestions or comments, please feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[bitter-hibiscus]

hav a good sleep and good luck spending money !!!!!!!

okay okay i might have mentioned this to you before but because there's already the foot clam and then rise added the council of heads i think it would be rlly funny if all the different hidden city/yokai related 'factions' were named after different body parts especially the. the arms dealers. so like a lot of these gangs are joining together after the kraang left the hidden city a little bit shaken up theyre unifying they may even have the beginnings of stronger tech

so the hamatos are stretched pretty thin they're getting worn down on all sides and big mama js a very prominent antagonistic force on the day to day bc shes taken to having grunts film their fights with the various gangs to hold over her audience between nexus fights as rise in technology means alternate means of entertainment means less buisness for her. or something i actually hadn't thought of the details of big mama before typing this out but they confront her and she ends up injuring either raph or april haven't decided yet

tension is high around the lair bc no one has really had time to recover emotionally from the kraang and they're out fighting constantly (casey is actually p normal about it bc all he knows is fighting. casey needs therapy probably) so like they're all pissy they're all one bad day away from snapping

getting heavy inspo from the donnie betrayal arc from the idw comics my best friend the idw comics donnie thinks that forging an alliance with big mama is the only way they'll get the upper hand. leo is like violently against this because raph/aprils wounds are still fresh literally and figuratively and he absolutely does not want donnie giving his resources to whats in his eyes enemy #1. donnie disagrees and thinks that her influence in the hidden city and ability to find people and know when fights are happening would be really useful leo orders donnie to stand down (leader moment!!! so proud of him) but donnie refuses point blank. things escalate when donnie reveals hes already spoken to big mama and they've worked out a deal and it turns into a family wide argument

leos side is raph (im leaning toward raph for injury reciever i think. i just feel bad fridging him after the movie already did) april (april donnie fight!!! i also just dont think she would trust big mama) and like most of the 1-2 time appearance side characters. maybe casey sr too? but i could see her hoping mama can like get normaler because that's what she did. what are your thoughts on this

donnies side is mikey (who loves a redemption arc and wants to look out for donnie) casey jr (he probably knew mama in the future when there was literally no choice but to be allies) and draxum (dont get me wrong he HATES big mama but he agrees with donnie that shes useful to them + he likes mikey best) also todd. he gives them lemonade

splinter is probably more of a mediator than anything he would love for his ex almost fiance to decide to turn to good but he wants to trust the judgement of his eldest and the son he made leader so he stays with them and lets draxum watch donnie mikey and the gang

so donnie and mikey (+ co maybe) take up temporary residence in the hidden city probably in the battle nexus hotel. haven't decided if one of them has to fight in the nexus but it would be neat

they also 100% meet big mamas assistant who was very heavily implied in the show to be a turtle that was left in the lab and captured by big mama. it is venus she shows them secrets and shit and is like plot relevant and stuff

tagst mostly what ive got in my little brain so far im bad at wrapping things up so im not really sure how that would go yet. i do thibk its really funny that like half of donnies side are looking at big mama like omg i could fix her and he is telling them to shut the fuck up and draxum is solemnly nodding in the bg

OH HOLY SHIT I LOVE HTAT. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

I think Cass/Casey Sr would be against Big Mama but only because one of the turtles would've told her about what she put them through and she'd be like AH! A WORTHY OPPONENT! BUT AN OPPONENT NONETHELESS!

[creatorbiaze]

hehehehe :>

ok so!

"Knew it already fine, misery inside" his knowledge of being in a cage makes it impossible to really enjoy things much, or him knowing something's wrong before he officially found out

"At myself, I would laugh, fallen down behind" humor to try and make up for it

"But I don't know a thing, love or losing, see? So I threw to the side any human in me" try to deny his humanity

"If I live a lie of shallow words and empty replies Then what am I? Hitting the walls of a stage that I couldn’t break" probably hin starting to panic when he first found out / realized the cage

"Then it stuck to my head, gotta run away" cage became more and more obvious to him

"Playing out like a scene, posing every lead / Near the end of the show, waiting in the wing, see? Run to the front stage, you're all actors anyway. No one to watch , you're all part of the play" he's started seeing how everyone else is in the same cage too technically, they just dont know

"There’s no one inside me/there's no one that's hiding/Always been me, empty, a body but nobody here to see" cage

"Broke it all with a touch if I do recall" Fyodor showing him the "truth", probably

"Hiding all of the shame, all I did was fall" same as b4

"We were young, never bound by a single sin" used to be young & y'know. not murderers

"Til before we could see, we were monsters in skin" time moves too fast

"But even if I had tried to move on why can't I leave my past?" look me in the eyes and tell me his past actions (murder) have no effect on him

"All they want now is safety from what's around" other people's ignorance is their bliss

"Waiting for help but never learning how" he doesn't know how to escape exactly. he's trying but chances are fyodors not helping

" So standing at the font line and maybe this time I'll be there with a flag high, outmatched but easygoing" him getting dazai and Fyodor from meursault

"Never gonna need a script with me / And here I keep them burning to twist the plot dramatically again" he went against Fyodors plan

"the final act im shaken to my knees, yet crying and lonely" is when Fyodor 'dies', & nikolai's following grief & despair. the following parts to the "instead you can see me break down from above" are him trying to tell himself it doesn't matter anyways bc emotions are useless to keep, but he's still very much grieving

"hey remember when you saw that they were nearing their end?" part is him to/about himself, in reference to how insane he acts w/ his murder victims

"So, hurry up and bite down whoever you found/ game over, give it up now/ mayday, a double agent/ struggling over love and discontent" him after Fyodor's death again, when the game is over. he's. struggling with his grief lmao

"A curtain dyed in black soon came to be/ And knowing that those eyes are watching.." Fyodor's end, and ssk literally watching

missing lyrics chunks i coudlnt explain rn. i give up my editing page kept reloading when I switched tabs to get lyrics and i am NOT patient i am in fact very furious with tumblr now <3

UGH MYSTIC I DESPISE YOU FOR INTRODUCING ME TO DRAMATURGY/j

Ive been meaning to answer your ask about how it could remind you of Nikolai but my thoughts about this song are incomprehensible and I'm feral :)

ITS LIKE. AUGH?!?!? I have been listening to it on repeat. HHEUSHDHSJHS ITS JUST SO ADDICTIVE. Look at what you've done/lh

But I could definitely see it as Nikolai and Fyodor as the man behind the curtain!

hehehehe :>

ive come up with like. 2-3 different meanings/interpretations of it relating to Nikolai shshsh

dw bro its stuck in my head too </3

ye :>

[dykesymmetry]

not to sound like that one copypasta but sometimes yall do take the dadza shit too far

[https-sen]

Haikyuu Insecure Boyfriend HC's

Recommend to listen while reading!!

Yamaguchi, Suna, and Atsumu x gn!reader

Masterlist

Yamaguchi:

He loves you so much but thing is that he's so insecure that you'd leave him for someone better. Of course you could never do that because he's your pretty boy and you'd stay with him till the end of time.

"Babe..?", he asked while fiddling with the string of his hoodie. You were at the park and had a nice little picnic together. Humming in reply you gave him a warm smile to assure him you're paying attention. "Well.. do you find other people more attractive than I am when I'm around you?", he was a bit surprised of your reaction though. You were shaken up that he'd actually think you're falling out of love with him when in reality you want to savour every moment, every second you get with him. "No one is more perfect than my beautiful angel sitting right infront of me! I would never compare you to anyone when I'm the happiest with you. I love you more than I could combine all my hatred for others, love.", you reassured him with a big hug as you gently stroke his back. "Really? I'm just a little scared you'd leave me for good and I just dont want that..", he tears up. "I'd give up my entire time as long as it means I can be with you more." He cries when he heard you say that. "I love you so much", he sobs into your right shoulder as you peppered him with kisses. "I love you too, darling.", you whisper back.

Suna:

He's not all that affectionate in public but behind closed doors? All he wants is to be embraced by your care and love with words of reassurance. Whenever he lashes out on you, he can't help but wonder if would you be happier with someone else who's more patient, better at anger management and softer with you who could give all he affection you deserve?

"For the last time, I was just gone for work! Well I'm sorry that you dont trust your own s/o(significant other) that's working hard to provide for the both of us.", you huffed as you took off your coat and shoes while your boyfriend quarreled with you. "Look, I had a bad day and I needed you. We could get groceries later and let you go to work like you would everyday but I really, really wanted to spend some time alone. I feel like I'd lose you to someone else who's better than I am and I just want to make every touch count!", you were shocked. He was crying in defeat as insecurity and doubt eats him up. "Baby, no no no.. I would never leave you! What would make you ever think that?", you hugged him as he shuffled closer to embrace your warmth. "I just thought that I was lashing out on you way too harshly and I became afraid that you'd get tired of my bullshit and leave so I guess became clingy..", he muffled from the crook of your neck as you kissed his collarbone to calm him down. "I can't control my anger very well and I'm just scared that I'll make you hate me so-" "I could never, ever hate you." you cut him off. "I love you from the moon and back. Baby, I'd always be around to piece you back together because I care too much to ever drop you. I cant bear the thought of ever leaving you when I can just help you right here, right now.", you told him softly as you kissed his forehead.

Atsumu:

Jokes are one thing but sometimes his words offend you and you would distance yourself a bit because of that. He can't understand you very well but he knows whenever you're hurt. He knows one day he'll say the wrong thing and you'd just pack up and go, taking your love with you.

Just as you got home from work, you started to change and make dinner for both you and Atsumu. You knew his favourite dishes by heart and you knew it would cheer him up every time practice becomes stressful for him. "I'm home!", you heard shouted across the hallway as you set everything up. "Hey, Tsum! How'd practice go?", you asked as you greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. "It was fine, darlin'! Just that I messed up a few sets and coach got pissed.", you giggled at that and dragged him to the kitchen to the heavenly feast you prepared for him as you knew he ate a lot because he loves your cooking so much. Dinner was so awkward without Atsumu's daily jokes to brighten up your day. It was pure silence and you were just staring at you plate. "Tsum, you sure you're okay? You're not acting like your usual self.", you pouted. "It's just 'm afraid I'll say something wrong and hurt ya.. that's all, angel..", he said quietly remembering your last argument that made you feel offended when he made fun of your flaws. "Tsum it was just a misunderstandment, we worked it out and we always will. I know I'm pretty sensitive but that's no reason for you to change the person I love dearly.", he smiles weakly but you could feel the warmth and you smile back. There's not a dull moment during dinner now and you're relieved and glad.

a/n: i loved how these turned out and its fun since its more than 2 characters which i would always do because im a lazy ass sojsjsb btw yamaguchi supremacy 🤳🏻 anyways, give me a follow, reblog and like if you enjoyed it! it helps out bunches and i appreciate it <3

[desertsfic]

Okay I dont know if you are still doing directors cuts (and even if you are this isnt technically a proper ask for it, because its about a specific part and not just a random one I guess?) but would you mind talkin about what's going through bro's head in temporal deadzone? When he carries dave out of the car and asks him to tell someone before he leaves the house?

well first of all anon i am delighted to tell you that the director's cut thing actually does in fact suggest asking about a particular scene, chapter, or even just line from a fic, but the star emoji is just if you want the writer to talk about anything they want, at length, so! not necessary!

also yes i am still doing them because i could talk about these things forever, happily!

Alright so basically, this poor fucking dude lol.

I mean basically, 95% of what bro and a!dave do offscreen is bicker lol, and how it started, was that David (we're calling him david here) smoked the rest of Bro's cigarettes (which he has been "BORROWING") and Bro just like, stares at him. and David was like what you want me to go RIGHT now??? and Bro just. Continues to stare at him.

(David does ask if he wants to go with btw.)

((The answer is hell to the fuck no.))

Finally David leaves, goes to get them, runs into Dave. Bro in the meantime is like, my god, finally peace and quiet, and tries to get some goddamn sleep.

Smashcut to being shaken awake, or perhaps he was awake from the moment the door opened it's hard to tell with that guy, and he's met with mr big long and stringy, all "Ur shitty kid fell asleep in my car and i can't carry him :("

and bro was like, "why the fuck was my shitty kid in your car in the first place"

and david had to admit that he basically ran into him and panicked and asked if he wanted to come with and then it was like a weird game of stubbornness and neither of them caved.

So Bro is like, annoyed, but acquiesces, because this, at least, is something he can do.

(spoilers David's a guardian and not nearly as noodly as he pretends he is, and could have carried him just fucking fine lol. He just. Didn't want to touch him. After what happened in the car. and also a lot of other complicated emotions about a person who both is and isn't you. you know how it is.)

But anyway we're here to talk about Bro, and Bro has a lot of practice carrying Dave from the car back into a house (or perhaps an apartment.) I think moments like these, times where maybe it was perceived as "easier" to carry him asleep, rather than waking him and having to deal with a grumpy kid, are some of the last remaining bits of "good" that exist between the two of them.

I've said this before but a lot of the Good Things Bro does for Dave end up being reflections of things he did when Dave was still too little to train, back when keeping a kid alive felt much harder, and he needed more attention.

As for the leaving the house thing. Well that's like, Guardian 101 lol. Your kid shouldn't be wandering off with strangers, and idk if Bro really trusts David yet (or if he ever really will, but you know, they're trying). He is also Trying to be better, and seeing how freaked out David was, he can tell something went Wrong. Unfortunately for all of us, Bro's best parenting advice came from Hallmark movies. But he is also mildly serious, because wakin' up in the middle of the night and finding out, once again, that your shitty kid wandered off and didn't even TRUST anyone enough to tell them?? man. That's some eye-opening shit, probably.

Also u did not ask, but the chapter is a java script joke, and also referencing an imogen heap song lol

Thank you for asking!! i hope i made sense here i am very sleepy

[milliumizoomi]

𝓣𝓗𝓔 𝓡𝓘𝓓𝓔 !

Pairings: A! KiriTodoBakuDeku x O! Black Fem! Reader

Synopsis: You, your friends and all your pups went out and it took a turn none of you were expecting.

Warnings: Mentions of massive injury, Angst, Cursing.

Masterlist

GO BACK ⇢ Part 5 ⇢ UP NEXT

They ran.

That’s all they could really do. Running and frantically searching for you, the villain and rescuing citizens as well. This was one of those days that people would be terrified. It was horrible. People screaming, children crying and what made it worst of all.. is the place all of this is happening.

It was a pro hero’s job to protect citizens so they would get used to sights like these. But with the lingering thought in their mind that all of this devastation was happening in the place that no one say coming made their skin crawl.

“HELP..! PLEASE!! PLEASE HELP ME!” A citizen cried, stuck under rubble with blood streaming down her face. Midoriya flew over there as fast as he could and managed to safely get her out. “Hey! Ok I got you ok! Please keep your eyes open if you can!” He stated to her as her body was becoming heavier and heavier by the minute. While other pros who were more of rescuers came and took the woman from Midoriya, the other men ran forward, doing their best to save all the citizens that needed help while still in search of you.

A couple minutes pass and at the moment, all four of the heroes were helping citizens evacuate the area. At this time they were in the middle of the carnival where the Ferris wheel is located. “WHERE THE HELL IS Y/N AND THAT DAMN VILLAIN!” Bakugou yelled in frustration. It had been a couple minutes since anyone had detected anything from the villain. They have been stressing severely after the incident with the pups. They were thinking the worst.

“Bakubabe calm down.. you know that we’re all on edge about this situation and—“ Just before Kirishima could finish his sentence, a pound explosion and a bloodcurdling screaming was heard. And somebody in the crowd recognized the scream. The boys did too.

“Y/N?!” The mystery person said. They pushed through the crowd. “SO IT IS HER!!” Kirishima yelled, extremely panicked. The person made their way to where the heroes were. “IS THAT MY DAUGHTER?!” your mother screamed while crying. Your father came up behind her comforting her as she screamed. “BOYS! WHERE.IS.MY.DAUGHTER!!” Your father yelled as well, seeing red. The boys froze. They were not expecting to see their parents in law at a time like this. “Wait sir let me explain..” Todoroki started, wanting to avoid the unnecessary argument and also to avoid the lingering eyes on them.

The media knew nothing of you. They didn’t know you were connected to some of the most powerful heroes in society. So that meant not even the citizens knew. You were kept secret, to avoid villains trying to target you and now the pups. “But can we talk about it in private?” Todoroki continued, not wanting to talk about it in the setting where the citizens are within an earshot.

Your parents nodded and shakily walked to a corner. The boys then explained what they know and how the situation happened. Your parents were shaken. They never expected this to happen. “WELL PLEASE GO AHEAD! PLEASE SAVE HER!” Your mother cried. The boys nodded and bid farewell and took off.

“The bastard is gonna pay if there’s on mark on her..” Bakugou growled as he propelled himself faster in the air with his quirk. “Oh most definitely..” Todoroki said with a feral tone.

As they are nearing the area the explosion was, there was another one. And then the same voice was heard.

Your voice.

You screamed, “DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO ME BUT I WILL NOT LET YO BITCHASS TOUCH MY FAMILY!!” The boys froze. That was you..? “You got guts going up to me.. but that’s a pretty little quirk you got there” the villain laughed at you. “I’m gonna have fun killing you..” the villain continued as he charged at you.

“WE GOTTA GO!” Midoriya screamed. The boys finally reached the area. The other heroes were dealing with other villains in the area. It was said that this villain the boys are going after was the strongest there. As they finally reached the area, their eyes widened at what they saw.

You stood in the middle of a lot of rubble all battered and beat up. The alpha marks that littered your neck were stained with blood. Your clothes were tattered and your hair was all frizzy. The boys looked over to the side where they saw your two friends laying there unconscious.

You were protecting them.

And it looks like there was a struggle. You were stumbling over your own feet at times. No wonder you quirk disabled in the air with the pups inside. You had the overexerted yourself. “Oh.. we’ll look what we have here..!” The villain cackled evilly. This alerted you as you shakily turned around to have your eyes be met with your alphas. “A..alp-“ you said weakly. You were so weak it’s the only thing you could get out before the villain grabbed you by your throat.

“I’d advise you stay back before I pop this one open!” He said menacingly. The boys saw red. As far as they were concerned, he was the reason you were hanging onto your life, he was reason their pups may have trauma from this experience, he was the reason their family may never be the same. “You.. MOTHERFUCKER!!”Bakugou screamed as he charged at the villain. “YOU DID THIS! YOU DIRTY ASS BITCH!!” Kirishima yelled behind, charging at the villain as well. “WE’LL KILL YOU!!” Midoriya said, doing the same as Kirishima and Bakugou. “THIS WILL NOT BE FORGIVEN!!” Todoroki screamed, following suit.

They all charged at the villain with the intent to kill him. They didn’t hold back at all. In a state of shock, the villain dropped you. Before you could hit the ground, Midoriya was quick to swoop in and grab your body. “I’m so sorry we didn’t come sooner my love.. we’ll finish this in a second then get you the help you need...ok?” He said. You nodded weakly and smiled letting him know you were ok. He set you on the ground, near your friends then went back to the fight. You managed to crawl closer to your friends’ unconscious bodies to put their heads in your lap. You sat up against the rubble and tried to relaxed your body but all you could feel was pain.

As the boys were still fighting the villain, debris flying all over the place, the villain began to speak. “WHY ARE YOU SO WORKED UP OVER A LOWLY OMEGA?!” He cried, obviously loosing the fight. “THATS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!” Todoroki yelled angrily. “AND DONT YOU DARE CALL HER LOWLY!!” Midoriya chimed in. “YOU’VE RUINED SO MANY LIVES TODAY AND HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK THAT YOU SON OF A BITCH?!” Bakugou continued, still beating the crap out of the villain. “YOU GOT SOME GUTS ASKING US THAT RIGHT NOW!” Kirishima added.

As this was happening, you heard a cry. It had to be enhanced by a quirk because it was a pup’s voice. Your eyes widened. “AMI! LITTLE PUP IS THAT YOU?!” You screamed. “MAMA!” She screamed back. That was your quirk.

Voice Adaptation.

You could basically do anything with your voice, whether it be making a shield, the orbs your pups were flying in or just sending messages, you could do it and apparently so can your pup. “Pup huh..” the villain groaned. He then slithered his way out of the boys and said, “LET’S SEE IF YOU’LL BE SO TOUGH WHEN I KILL THAT USELESS LITTLE DOG!” He screamed and started making his way to where the pups were. You were enraged and terrified. First of all, he just called your pup a useless dog and he’s now targeting your babies. “NO PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU!” You pleaded. The boys already took off after the villain, while terrified. ‘I have to do something I can’t just sit here!’ You thought to yourself wearily. After a few moments, your eyes then widened, finally getting a plan.

‘MOM?! MOM CAN YOU HEAR ME?!’ You said, sending a message to your mom through your mind with the use of your quirk. ‘Y/N?! SWEETHEART YOU’RE OK?!’ She replied. ‘I’LL BE FINE! BUT I NEED YOUR HELP! AND PLEASE CARRY DAD!’ You told her hastily. She sensed the urgency in your voice and said ‘I’LL BE RIGHT THERE!’ You slumped down and waited. A couple seconds later your mother and father appeared in front of you. “WHAT’S WRONG?!” Your mother screamed worriedly. “I can’t explain it right now but dad can you please pick up my friends and mom can you teleport all of us outside to where the ambulances are?!” You begged. Your parents looked at you, then each other then got stern looks. “Let’s go!” Your dad said as he picked up your two friends.

As this was happening, the boys was still in pursuit of the slimy squid like villain. “YEAH HELLO?! WERE IN PURSUIT! THE VILLIAN JUST STARTED TO RUN AWAY AND HE’S HEADING TO THE AMBULANCES! EVACUATE ALL THE CITIZENS IMMEDIATELY!!” Midoriya yelled into the communication device he had. “WE HAVE TO GET ALL THE PEOPLE OUT OF THERE! BUT WE HAVE TO GO BACK FOR Y—“ Kirishima started but was cut off by something.

It was your voice. You were talking to them.

‘Hello..! Alphas can you hear me?’ Your voice said in their head. ‘We’re here baby, we’re here! We’re coming back for you ok?!’ Todoroki communicated back to you. ‘No! Don’t! I’m fine’ you stated. ‘What the hell do you mean you’re fine?! With those injuries you could pass out at any moment!’ Bakugou says back. ‘Im serious! Keep going after the villain! My parents are here and their taking me to the ambulances!’ You told them sternly. ‘NO BABY WAI—‘ and before Midoriya could finish his sentence, your quirk cut off. All the alphas look at each other, decided if they should go back or not. “I have a bad feeling about this..” Kirishima says wearily, still chasing the villain. “OH LOOKS LIKE WERE HERE~” the villain laughs, drawing the boys out of their thoughts.

“FUCK!” Bakugou yelled. The boys watched as you teleported with your parents to the ambulances. They said a few things to you as you nodded your head. They left with the heroes that were directing them away.

For some reason, their stomachs were twisting. They had a lingering feeling that somethings wasn’t right.

You were looking around, silently begging to see your pups. The villain then charged at you but you managed to jump away in the split second if time you had left. “Y/N! GET OUT OF HERE!” Todoroki yelled. They didn’t wanna see you get hurt. You were so focused on finding the pups that you didn’t even hear him.

“THERE YOU ARE!” The villain said, alerting you and the boys. You looked over at him and saw that Ami, along with her three brother, Katsuo, Haru, and Izuko standing there in the care of a pro hero. “And looks like she’s got siblings.. Oh this is gonna be great!” The villain cackled. He charged at them. “NO!” The boys yelled in togetherness. They all ran after the villain. “DON’T LET HIM GET TO THEM! GET THEM OUT OF HERE!” Kirishima yelled, alerting the heroes. “HAHA I GOT YOU NOW!” The villain cried menacingly as he appeared infront of the wide eyed pups. He swung his tentacle as herd as he could and brung it down.

He hit something. But he didn’t hear crying. He opened his eyes to see you standing there, with a victorious smirk on your face, blood seeping out of the corner of your face and mouth. You looked up at him and said “I—.. I told you I wouldn’t.. let you touch... my family..—“ Your voice came out weak and hoarse. This was the breaking point to all those attacks you had to endure before. You had heard a loud crack and pop on impact. And it would be an understatement to say it hurt a lot. You knew that you were at your limit. “Y/N!!” Everyone who knew you cried out. The villain retracted his tentacle. “M-mama?!” Your pups cried, clawing at your legs. They looked up at you teary eyed. “M’ok babies, mommy’s gonna be just fi..—” you started weakly. Your vison started to get blurry. And darkness was the only thing you could see. “Get.. get them away.. don’t wanna fall.. on th..” you started to get out. You knew you were going to faint so you didn’t wanna fall on your pups. Your body began to fall. Before you hit the ground, you felt somebody catch you. By the way they held you, you knew it was one of your alphas. You could hear muffled screams. Your body soon went limp in the arms of whomever was holding you as you could do nothing but welcome the darkness.

©Property of Miashimaa. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission. Plagiarism will NOT be tolerated.

Taglist: @develith @uniquabackyardigans @unfazedrose @kiribis-confesion-page @darylthekidd @gm4176 (Open ! click here to be added!)

[makiema]

finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 

[sunatooru]

recently some1 in my class started to tell every1 how fake iam and I'm trying to be not like other girls or smth. saying' can you stop acting nervous and can you atleast make eye contact when talking to me, you're so fake, it's not quirky to not socialize' idk exactly whta she said even tho I was literally behind her. maybe I was too focused on smth else. I've always been excluded from stuff , I've always tried to be kind to ppl, I never did anything wrong . apparently I'm also a attention seeker and 1 of my teacher hates me bc 1 time I was violently shaking when they called me to stand up and answer a question I didnt know. so they said to do a presentation on the topic we were doing, so I have to do it in front of the whole class yay!!!!! and then in pe class I had to do smth in front of every1, well every1 had to do it but I didnt feel comfortable doing it bc it felt like every was looking at me so I asked the teacher if I could go to the bathroom and they said yes, one of my classmates taht I hate came along, I wnated to cry. that day was terrible . I locked myself in a stall and just started to cry, it was my last straw. my stomach hurts so bad and I felt so nauseous at that time. This isnt really a emergency request. I think. if you think it is then please write it. Could you please write for kenma.maybe him comforting me and helping me with the presentation ? and yeah alot of people has requested for him. He is my comfort character but if you think too much people has requested for him then you can choose who you want to write for. please dont write it if you dont want to. thanks, hope you're doing well, genuinely hope your ok!! take care 😊

I’m sorry you’re going through all that <33 and don’t worry about people requesting Kenma a lot :)) I hope this helps x

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Warnings: mentions of reader being bullied/ hated, mentions of anxiety, kenma goes school with you in this for the presentation/ in your class

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Kenma

* he’s with you before the presentation, he cups your hands and kisses your forehead

* “It’ll be okay, yeah? I’ll be here watching so just focus on me. Don’t let these other people make you feel bad because they don’t deserve your attention.”

* He caresses you cheek and lets you get ready, sitting somewhere visible

* He makes sure to smile at you when ever you look at him, nodding at you and giving you a proud look

* After the presentation, he’s quick to praise you, noticing how shaken up you still are and knowing the people in the room aren’t it

* “You did well, babe. You were great and did your best.”

* After school he’ll treat you to eat

* He knows school hasn’t been easy and he hates seeing you upset

* “Hey, you know those people aren’t important. They can say all those things but that doesn’t mean that’s you. I don’t know why they are being rude but jist know, you’re so strong for dealing with them. You might not feel like it but you are. I’m sorry you feel bad sometimes but I promise, it’s not your fault. Those people know nothing about you.” He gently grabs you hand, bringing it to the side of his face.

* “I love you a lot. My love will always be stronger then their pettiness and hate.”