#like. a very juvenile way to measure success

[llycaons]

I'm trying not to vague posts I disagree with anymore so this is the last one I promise but I really don't think it's very impressive for a leader to terrify everyone around them and I don't think its anything to be proud of either

[transmutationisms]

logan engineering tom as ceo from beyond the grave so that his real grandkid stays in succession....god there's so much to think about here in terms of the family structure (thinking about logan reading iverson the storybook in s3, about logan drinking fertility smoothies....the show called succession was about succession all along!!) I'm so curious for your thoughts!!!!!!

it does work for logan's interests in a certain way, yeah! at the end of the day, i don't think logan ever would have been capable of actually naming a successor, because even though he tried to use his kids as proxies for himself, no one was ever going to be able to measure up. like, what he really wanted was his own immortality; his kids were always going to flop in his eyes, simply by virtue of not being his own literal body. but at the same time, one of the things he specifically punished kendall for was not producing what he considered to be a legitimate heir—a judgment that arose from a combination of logan's misogyny, racism, ableism, and obsession with consanguinity. so it put the board in a position where kendall was not an obvious choice, and matsson perceived tom as a useful puppet.

for logan's posthumous interests, this is a win in the sense that his biological grandkid will now have skin in the game. it's also a loss in the sense that matsson is most likely going to dismantle a lot of the company for scrap. so, the biological legacy survives in some sense; the financial one is pretty much dead. the company has also been represented by, and representative of, logan's physical body: from the beginning of the show, both appeared as these aging relics from a bygone era, controlling the political/corporate arena as well as the roy family; both were ailing, etc. this is also partly why the siblings were ultimately so determined to keep the company, especially roman, who saw matsson's takeover effort as his essentially desecrating logan's body/legacy.

anyway, to return to fertility and offspring, yeah this was always the mechanism by which logan tried to ensure his own survival past his impending death. he wanted a successor who was his biological offspring, who could produce offspring of their own and consolidate an empire around a bloodline. in this way he perceived that he would still be living on through the others (hence also his possessiveness over his children, including their sexual behaviours). but he never accepted iverson and sophie as filling this role for the aforementioned reasons, and even in the one scene where we see him really trying to be grandfatherly with iverson, he disdains him for reading a book he perceives as juvenile, asking kerry for something "with some action" (suggesting logan sees iverson's implied autism as a defect of his masculinity as well).

ultimately the empire logan wanted to create attains a very hollow victory, though of course the individual players are all still wealthy and materially cosseted. kendall's infertility is not the cause for logan's persistent disdain of him, but it sort of symbolises and sums up the way in which kendall could never live up to his father's standards for a male heir, no matter how much he shaped his life and sense of self around logan's demands. connor and roman will presumably never have kids, and shiv's kid won't have much of an empire left to inherit, plus logan would have strenuously preferred the line of succession going through one of his sons. his kids have always been trapped in the family (except connor, who was locked out of it), yet they've still ultimately failed to consolidate the sort of blood-bound empire logan always wanted.

[brionysea]

You have only good opinions so I have a query for you: I watched the first season of The Umbrella Academy forever ago when it first came out and really loved it! But I never ended up watching the rest of the seasons. I haven’t heard like literally anything about them either. I was wondering if however they handle the Allison x Luther thing is like, at least bearable? And also whether you think the other season are worth a watch in the first place? Thank you for your time and for always being correct 🙏

First of all, I'm honoured. Thank you for your kind words. I actually rewatched the newer seasons of The Umbrella Academy recently so they're fresh in my mind.

Short answer: Allison and Luther aren't too egregious, season 2 is fine, season 3 is not

Long answer:

Allison x Luther is a thing from the comics, and because the show's sort of subversive, "anti-comic book clichés" approach is what makes it work so well, their romance is quite morally dissonant from the more grounded and likable versions of the characters in the show. They're not Game of Thrones levels, but they're there, and they're weird and annoying and very jarring in a show that otherwise goes so hard on the family angle. But it's *probably* being framed as an intentional negative at this point. They went too extreme for that to not be the case. And both characters keep getting assigned other, non-sibling love interests. Sort of. Timelines are weird.

It feels like the show is *trying* to say something with their relationship, probably about how unhealthy and isolated their childhood was that they felt the need to latch onto each other like that to get *any* kind of attention, but it's not. Trying very hard. And they don't say it nearly well enough that you'd lose anything worth keeping by omitting that part of the source material like they did Diego x Viktor/Vanya (yes, really). It doesn't come across as groundbreaking psychological analysis of abused and isolated children going into adulthood without doing the work to heal from their pasts so they get stuck in this weird cycle, it comes across as the show wanting to remind you of the pseudo-incest every so often just to be edgy.

Season 2 is worth the watch if you meet it where it's at. It handles the part of time travel that nobody talks about through 3 different characters; the big one being Allison, a black woman from the 21st century, fighting back against segregation and clinging onto her temper by her fingernails - and I think they do it decently (but I'm white, so take this with a grain of salt). A quite small moment with Elliot Page's character made me surprisingly emotional. TUA2 absolutely fumbles the thematic core of the first season - the apocalypse as an allegory for their *collective* childhood trauma which they haven't healed from into adulthood, and from there, everything crashes and burns - but if you manage your expectations to what this season is *trying* to be, which is "fun", it's okay. It's even successful - it IS fun! Some of the more juvenile humour doesn't land with me but humour is subjective. Very bright, very colourful, very silly. All the goofy parts of season 1 dialled up to eleven with the dark parts turned way down, which... there's something to be said about the power of contrast, but it is what it is.

Season 3 is... less good. If Allison was my personal highlight of TUA2, then Klaus is my highlight of TUA3, but this season simply doesn't measure up. There's a lot of big empty spaces with only the main characters in them, as if COVID filming restrictions wouldn't let them bring in any more actors/characters to flesh out the world. It's not their fault, but it's very noticeable. I've *seen* shows working under identical circumstances (and with less money!) do better than this. The plot's setup was interesting but managed to lose me with multiple payoffs that felt underwhelming and lacking in vision. They did that two, maybe three times? I didn't like any of them. The writing isn't very tight - you can *feel* how little consideration the writers were given by Netflix. Most of the side characters feel pointless. Some of the core characters feel like different people (Diego particularly bugged me, and I don't even like Diego that much). TUA3 tried to follow 2's lead of being fun, but its flaws are too big to successfully hide them behind the fun. There are a few standout scenes, but overall... Eh.

[alleycatallies]

Misinterpretation of a Recent Study Threatens Cats’ Lives

Alley Cat Allies strongly condemns the sensationalized and distorted characterization in the media of the article, “A global synthesis and assessment of free-ranging domestic cat diet,” recently published in Nature Communications and its findings regarding cats. We also question the intention of the article’s authors in the distribution of the study based on irrelevant and overblown statements within the article related to cats and public health.

Despite its media portrayal, the article does not in any way prove that cats are a major threat to wildlife species, including endangered ones. It does not make any meaningful conclusions about the “diet” of domestic cats, nor does it prove that cats are “killing machines” or “stone cold killers” that “nothing is safe from” (words in quotes are included in real headlines about the article). However, it does provide a number that is easy to misconstrue into clickbait headlines.

Worse, the mischaracterization of these numbers can and likely will influence decisionmakers to enact cruel and ineffective lethal policies against cats. We’ve been down that road before—the debunked findings of an infamous and widely criticized 2013 study are being used to justify institutional harm to cats to this day.

The fact is scientific evidence consistently exonerates the domestic cat species of being a major threat to wildlife populations. With that in mind, we would like to clarify what IS in the content of the article and what is not. It may surprise you that even the article’s authors don’t always represent their “findings” accurately in their conclusions. Alley Cat Allies and Gregory J. Matthews, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Statistics at Loyola University Chicago, worked together on a thorough examination of the article and the media reacting to the publication.

What Does the Article Actually Say?

The article IS NOT an examination of the free-ranging domestic cat’s regular diet or what cats regularly consume.

The article IS a list of species cats have been documented as consuming at least once in some place at some time in at least one study based on a literature review of 533 previous studies that met the authors’ inclusion criteria. The data cannot be used to draw anything near the conclusion that cats are a major threat to those species or that those species are included in a cat’s usual diet.

The article’s concluded number IS NOT comprised of species that cats are known to have killed, though headlines would make you think otherwise.

The article’s concluded number IS claimed to be a list of species that were predated by cats OR scavenged. The authors do not distinguish between the two. “In the 533 studies, a variety of different measures were used to determine cats’ diets, including scat analysis, gut analysis, observed predation, and inferred predation, but the authors make no distinction between these methods when aggregating their data in the main text of their manuscript,” said Dr. Matthews.

To make the point, here are some of the species included in the list:

Emu (Dromaius novaehollandiae, approximately 34kg or 75 lbs) Green Sea Turtle (Chelonia mydas, approximately 133kg or 293 lbs) Domestic Cow (Bos taurus, approximately 760kg or 1676 lbs)

The authors offered a weak caveat that “many of the largest species recorded were likely to have been predated as juveniles or scavenged as adults,” but we think all can agree that cats’ predation of these species is very unlikely.

As Dr. Matthews puts it: “Without making any distinction between cats’ scavenging and predation habits, it is also impossible based on this article to determine how many of the 346 species of ’conservation concern’ were killed by cats versus scavenged by cats.”

You wouldn’t know it reading the article. “Our study sheds light on the predatory habits of one of the world’s most successful and widely distributed invasive predators,” the authors claim, but a more accurate statement would be that the study “sheds light on the variety of species that cats have been documented to have ever eaten.” That number should have no meaningful impact on the way cats are treated in our communities or by policies created on their behalf.

The authors’ bias seems clear. Not only do they make no distinction between predation and scavenging (even though cats are opportunistic feeders and primarily scavenge for food), the authors also tend to focus on predation in their conclusions and mention scavenging as an afterthought. It appears they want the reader to get the idea that cats were documented as killing all the species discussed in the article. That, however, isn’t true.

Additionally, some language in the article’s discussion section stands out for being unrelated to the data collected, yet perhaps is quite related to the authors’ biases. “Aside from predation, these impacts include numerous cat-borne diseases that impact wildlife and human health and wellbeing, including toxoplasmosis, plague, and rabies…” the authors write. This statement does not follow from the study at hand and is incredibly misleading.

Community cats do not pose a public health risk. There has not been a confirmed case of cat-to-human rabies transmission in the United States in decades, and cats very rarely spread rabies to any species. It is also very rare for anyone to catch toxoplasmosis from a cat, especially community cats who generally avoid contact with people. Plague risk is minimal in the United States in general, and cases transmitted by cats are even more negligible.

The only reason we can see to bring up this irrelevant topic is to drive readers to fear cats living outdoors in their natural environment, if the article’s findings didn’t already make them fearful (and by all means, they shouldn’t). These paragraphs bring the intent of the article in general into question.

Fearmongering Media Headlines and False Information

Nearly all media outlets reporting on this article use shock value headlines to drive engagement, which is a dishonorable practice and potentially even deadly for cats and kittens. But the article in the Daily Mail is particularly shameful in its factual errors.

The Daily Mail article states “free-ranging cats are responsible for preying on 347 endangered species.” Preying implies that the cats killed those species. The study simply presents evidence that cats have consumed 347 species that are on a list of “conservation concern.” The Daily Mail piece also says “free-ranging cats are responsible for killing 347 endangered or threatened species” in the caption of one of the images used in the article, which is again untrue.

The article also states that “the study broke down the diet of these pets, finding they mostly feast on birds, reptiles and mammals, with insects and amphibians on the lighter side.” Here, the Daily Mail is using the term “diet” in a misleading way. The study is not looking at what cats regularly consume; it is offering a list of every species that a cat has ever been found to consume.

The Daily Mail article also falsely claims that “researchers used a method called observed predation to learn what animals free-ranging cats prey upon using the applications of camera traps and animal-borne video.” The study’s authors didn’t directly observe any cats eating anything. Their article is a literature review that looks at other studies.

Most egregiously, the article states that “researchers found that cats consumed roughly 47 percent of birds, 22 percent of reptiles, and 20 percent of mammals, with approximately 10 percent of insects, amphibians, and other prey.” This makes it sound like cats consumed 47 percent of all bird species, 22 percent of all reptile species, etc. That is incorrect; the percentages only refer to the species found within the list of 533 studies. Though with the way the numbers are presented in the study, we believe that’s an easy mistake to make.

So, What IS the Point of the Article?

In our 34 years in action, Alley Cat Allies has seen studies and articles in scientific journals utilized without basis to demonize cats, spread misinformation about their place in our communities and in ecosystems, and create policy for the mass slaughter of cats and kittens.

With the way things are unfolding, we fear this recent article will follow that same path. The article’s authors’ mischaracterization of cats as “indiscriminate predators” and an “invasive species,” along with the inclusion of irrelevant and inaccurate language about cats being a public health threat suggest the authors have reached a conclusion about cats and are attempting to create numbers that inspire a specific approach to cats outdoors.

The article refers to a “strong impetus to advance policy and management initiatives that seek to reduce the impacts of free-ranging cats,” but what, exactly, are those policy and management initiatives? Alley Cat Allies believes they are referring to “trap and kill” programs.

Lethal approaches were utilized over decades upon decades to “manage” community cat populations to no avail due to a phenomenon known as the Vacuum Effect. That doesn’t keep “experts” from calling to retread old ground and slaughter cats needlessly every other week—with the bloody bill falling to taxpayers, of course.

Lethal cat control schemes fail to provide long-term population management, cause collateral damage to other animals and to local ecosystems, and bring unacceptably high moral costs. Slaughter is not conservation. There is no humane or responsible way to attempt to wipe out an entire population of animals in an ecosystem. Beyond that, science does not support the notion that killing cats protects endangered species from population decline.

That false premise aside, if the goal is to stabilize community cat populations and improve their wellbeing, Trap-Neuter-Return (TNR) is the only humane and effective approach.

G. Robert Weedon, DVM, MPH, who has extensive veterinary experience and cat expertise, explains it well: “One struggles to imagine a feasible alternative to TNR. Put more bluntly: If not TNR, then what? The indiscriminate killing of healthy cats has been the default ‘management’ approach for more than 100 years in the US despite the lack of any evidence that it has been effective. If the article’s authors seek to stabilize outdoor cat numbers, they should embrace TNR and the mounting body of scientific evidence supporting its effectiveness.”

However, again, stabilizing community cat populations is not the same thing as protecting wildlife. Cats are not primary threats to wildlife populations, endangered or otherwise.

The authors of this article want to protect wildlife. So do all of us at Alley Cat Allies, and so do those reading this piece right now. But we must focus on real threats: development, climate change, habitat loss, pollution, deforestation, fires, mining, toxic chemicals like pesticides, and other human-led activities.

We will not stand by as cats’ lives are threatened by articles that are misinterpreted or misleading, tabloid-style headlines, and researcher bias, intentional or not. Cats deserve better, wildlife—especially endangered species—deserve better, and so do we all.

Content source: https://www.alleycat.org/misinterpretation-of-a-recent-study-threatens-cats-lives/

[systemhead]

you ever think about how power/privilege/wealth/prestige/resource/informations are set up to be impenetrable and confusing and hard to use to continually vindicate and “prove” the abilities of those who were granted managerial/privileged/tenured/“proven” status.

like there is always a legitimate degree of knowledge and experience involved in these things for sure, the best way to measure intelligence is a degree of time invested in something, at least ideally.

but often times professional systems are made arcane so as to keep them in the hands of those who (a) made them arcane because that’s how they like it, (b) keep them arcane because the only way they can actually be quickly and efficiently utilized and navigated is by plowing through them with power/influence/resources, or (c) continually reinforce their arcane nature again and again by making the ability to proceed through that system contingent on their position/involvement/status and sublimation/submission to them.

you can learn everything that is true and actually important about a field/process/skill/industry from your parent’s basement but you will be denied equal footing in whatever that thing is because of how the professional system has been constructed as a series of barricades against the bottom of the power ladder and the influence of the outside world because those people have good jobs with nice benefits and they worked really hard to get there and fuck you.

anyway, I get why people hate bureaucracy, even if it feels like, juvenile or even anti-communist to do so, because bureaucracy in a system that already hates you will generally orient itself towards logics and systems of hating you more; more thoroughly, comprehensively, from every angle, adjusted for every contingency; the most successful and enduring form of hate isn’t fiery, it’s endless fine tuned clockwork.

I say all of this both to vaguepost about my job while also speaking to the very deep seated pain that I have when I see some of the smartest people I’ve ever met call themselves stupid or think of themselves as lesser-than or failures because they don’t have graduate degrees or they didn’t get the best grades in undergrad or they are only associates or sub-managerial in their 20s and 30s.

I love run-on sentences.

[uncharismatic-fauna]

Ride Along with the Rough-skinned Newt

Found all along the western coast of North America, the rough-skinned newt (Taricha granulosa) is a species of newt known for its distinctive rough skin and the strong toxin it produces. Their native habitats include deciduous and evergreen forests, particularly those with wetlands, rivers, lakes, or lots of rainfall. This last environment accurately describes the temperate rainforests of the American Pacific Northwest and the Cascade Mountains, where the rough-skinned newt is especially common.

T. granulosa is very easily identifiable. It’s about medium size, measuring between 11 and 18 cm from tip to tail and weighing about 10-12g. The top of the rough-skinned newt can range from reddish-brown to olive, and the underside is a bright orange or yellow. True to their name, the skin is distinctly granular, although males will become smooth during the mating season. Some adults that live at higher elevations have retained their gills and are almost fully aquatic, but most rough-skinned newts breathe through their skin.

The mating season for rough-skinned newts usually begins in spring. Males and females will congregate around water sources, which some biologists think they find using celestial cues. Mating itself takes place underwater. Once a male finds a receptive female, he climbs on her back and grasps her tightly in a position known as amplexus. The two can stay this way for hours or even days, although the male must also often fend off competitors. In some extreme cases, a female can become so swarmed by males that she will drown. However, if breeding is successful the female will attach eggs one by one to submerged vegetation. The eggs hatch 3-4 weeks later and spend 4 or 5 months in an aquatic larval stage before transitioning into juvenile adults. They remain juveniles for another 4 or 5 years before becoming sexually mature and can live up to 18 years in the wild.

Rough skinned newts can be diurnal or nocturnal, depending on their location. They spend most of their time searching for food, mainly insects and other, smaller amphibians. Although as newts they are somewhat aquatic, T. granulosa spends most of its time on land, and is usually found under fallen logs or leaf litter. However, they have little fear of predators due to the strong toxin they secrete from their skin. When threatened an individual will emit a strong acrid smell and curl their heads and tails backward, exposing the bright underbelly as a warning. If ingested the rough-skinned newt’s toxin is potent enough to kill, though most predators know enough to stay away. There is one animal that has evolved a resistance to the toxin: the common garter snake (Thamnophis sirtalis). These two species are locked in an evolutionary arms race, in which the rough-skinned newt gradually grows more toxic and the garter snake becomes more resistant.

Conservation status: The IUCN has rated the rough-skinned newt as Least Concern, due to its large range and population. However, like many amphibians, T. granulosa is subject to habitat destruction and climate change.

Photos

Heidi Rockney

Gary Nafis

Stephen Hart

[sastrology]

Can you please do Jupiter-ascendant aspects ? 🤗😌

JUPITER TRINE/SEXTILE/CONJUNCT ASC NATAL ASPECTS:

People with positive Jupiter-Ascendent aspects feel as though they will always have someone to fall back on and rely on. They have a generally charming, somewhat humorous, demeanor that attracts others. This is a great aspect for making a good first impression on others and these individuals will have a ton of luck with presenting themselves. These people generally have a good outlook on their lives and expect to measure up to a certain level of success. They have huge goals that others may view as too grand and unobtainable, but to them, it’s only a matter of time.

Despite their large dreams, they could be prone to wasting a lot of time with hobbies deemed as more juvenile. A certain level of lavish laziness can be pinned on this aspect, but even though they do like to slumber like a sloth, they do know how to turn on the work ethic when it’s needed most. Something about these people can just feel very easy as if this aspect combined with other positive aspects is just the oil to keep the wheels turning in a person's head. On top of that, they typically have good vitality. People may say to them often that they’re lucky, and “things always seem to work out for you” similarly to positive Jupiter-Mars aspects

This is a great aspect to have as it can point to a generous, sociable person, someone who sees the good in everyone. If Jupiter is retrograde, the individual may have some unusual thinking/morals but this generally resonates well with the energy of their rising. they will also be more likely to feel as though they must earn the luck they are blessed with/perceived to have. Any retrograde planet can point to the energy of the planet being deeply focused inward. I consider the conjunct a positive aspect when associated with Jupiter as it can give an individual immense fortune, they’re also likely to be very warm-hearted and jovial energies that resonate much smoother than Sun-Asc conjunction; these people will shine. Hurdles will be thrown towards them are more likely to overcome hurts easily and keep a bright optimistic attitude. If they are religious they may feel as though their religion is a guiding positive force in their lives. If it falls in the 12th house they may be deemed as way too trusting of others, and very tender-hearted. Likely to have vivid dreams of exploring the world, parachuting off of planes, eating exotic foods, while stuck in an office job. If conjunct in the 1st house they’re more likely to be out traveling but always reaching for more. It can be hard to satisfy your thirst for travel, philosophy, and general Jupiter themes, as such, you may not fully live in the moment.

JUPITER SQUARE/OPPOSITION ASC:

Jupiter negatively aspecting the asc could be worse, as Jupiter even in a negative aspect still has its pros. Often times this presents individuals who have a lack of faith in themselves. Children with this aspect tend to have big personalities, or an abundance of energy. They can almost feel too much to others and as such they could be told to be quiet, to stop bothering others, or just experience a general shunning of their basic personalities. As adults they can either project an over-confident facade or a more awkward mix of a reserved optimist. If Jupiter is also retrograde, they will have a deep inner struggle around the basic properties of morals/luck, they will be less likely to jump into dubious foolhardy plans and instead are more likely to have opportunities pass them by.

They can be adamant about getting towards their goals and then lack the confidence to deliver. Good opportunities they are meant to go out on a limb for, take the big leap of faith for, can be passed by. Meanwhile, they can jump into risky opportunities with a very devil-may-care attitude. On the plus side, these individuals usually are quite funny with large personalities that sweeten like a fine wine over time. As they get older they will learn better ways to grab the right opportunities. The opposition can be more prone to self-sabotage, they project a big image, and then… when expected to live up to the unrealistic image they created, they will destroy it. After all, Jupiter expands everything it touches, and with a negative aspect, they may promise more than they can deliver. They may be more focused on relationships, having large expectations of others that can be hard to live up to.

With any negative Jupiter aspect, they will likely be prone to exaggerating situations. This can make for a wonderful storyteller who can enlarge any mundane situation but makes it difficult for them to not make every situation more grandiose than it really was. A simple trip to the grocery store could be a 10-page short story with a movie license in the works.

☀️ ☀️ disclaimer: sorry this is so late! based on my observation and astrology books, thx also i am assuming you meant natal aspects if not dm me shhh ☀️☀️

[voltage-vixen]

The Great Pumpkin Surprise

Fandom: Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Pairing:  Eisuke x MC (Female)  Notes: This fic was written for the server gift exchange in the Kings of Paradise discord, and my recipient was @eikouxd. I really hope you like this!

The gentle breeze was chilly on the crisp fall afternoon, and there was a bright mixture of orangish-red leaves that painted the ground. Decorative ghosts hung from the stripped trees in preparation for Halloween since the spooky holiday was nearly upon them. Today, MC had convinced her family to travel outside the bounds of the city to visit a farm known for their festive autumn attractions. Eito was quick to agree, and her husband Eisuke voiced how amusing this trip would probably be for him if he did accompany them. 

A few hours later they were deep into one of the rural suburbs, with a smirking Eisuke and a giddy MC bearing witness of a rare moment where Eito was racing around the farm and acting like a child his age would be expected to act. MC typically would fret over Eito being in such a rush to grow up, but today watching him radiate in childlike innocence while he lit up at the sights warmed her heart. It wasn’t often the three of them were able to escape from their daily routine given the demands of Eisuke’s work schedule, and these occasions were something she treasured when they presented themselves. Well, the three of them and…..

“Eito, come take a look at this gourd!” Ota cried out, holding up the large disfigured fruit for the boy to see. “Doesn’t it remind you of Baba’s face?”“Ota!” 

Baba pouted, feigning annoyance by dramatically crossing his arms over the front of his chest. “How cruel of you! I hardly look a day over twenty! I’m sure everyone here would feel inclined to agree.” Glancing around, the thief’s gaze locked onto Soryu’s, who also happened to be standing nearby. “Sor, don’t you think I have an eternally youthful looking face?”

The mobster rolled his eyes and uttered a loud sigh for once again being dragged into the childish antics of the group. “I don’t know anything about that stuff. Stop trying to get me involved in your shenanigans.”

“You’re pretty uptight for a criminal, aren’t you now?” Mamoru muttered under his breath. Lighting his cigarette, he surveyed the food and beverage stalls up by the entrance. “Do they sell booze at this joint? I need something to help me get through this day that I was coerced into spending with you lot.”

“Ugh, must you really insist on smoking that here?” Shuichi scolded, massaging his temples at the headache he felt oncoming. Seeing Luke nearby, he barked at the spaced-out doctor next to him. “Luke, you’re a medical professional. Inform him at once how neglectful of his health he’s being by smoking those like a chimney.”

“Oh, how I do despise the colder weather,” Luke groaned, ignoring the nagging ambassador. “I can’t even sneak a peek at Sexybones’s exquisite collar bones when she’s wearing this many layers of clothing.”

“Don’t be weird, Luke,” Hikaru murmured, shaking his head over the doctor’s odd obsession. Wanting to ease some of the innocent tension among the bidders, Hikaru decided it would be best to change the subject. “Hey, I promised Maddy I would bring him back some souvenirs. Why don’t we all pick out some together as a group? I bet Maddy would really appreciate that.”

“Good idea, Hikaru!” Baba cheered, immediately beginning to assist Hikaru in ushering the grumbling guys over to the souvenir shop. “Hurry up, everyone! Time’s a wasting!”

Yup, you guessed it! Somewhere along the way, what was intended to be a family trip, somehow escalated into the Ichinomiya family + the auction managers = chaotic group outing.

 Despite the crashers, Eito who had been wandering through the patch in search for the perfect pumpkin, spun around and burst into laughter at the familiar sight of the men he considered uncles causing the same old commotion he had grown to associate them with.

“Remind me why they are here again?” Eisuke scowled, though there was a softness in his face that didn’t align with the harshness of his words while he watched the group disappear into the front of the stop.

“Because they’re our friends,” MC giggled, while she rested her head onto his arm. “Besides, look how much fun Eito is having! Isn’t that what matters the most?” 

Eisuke leaned over to plant a soft kiss on the top of her head, and tenderly stroked her cheek. “That face you’re making now isn’t the worst,” the CEO teasingly mocked. “I suppose a trip like this isn’t half-bad if it means I get to see more of that ridiculous grin you’re wearing.”

“I can’t help the fact that spending time with you two reminds me of how blessed I am,” MC sighed, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. “These moments are precious. They’re the ones I’ll forever cherish from now until the end of my time.”

Eisuke’s heart skipped a beat at the adorableness of MC’s confession, and a rare shade of crimson faintly painted his cheeks. His past self would never have been able to envision that someone like him would ever be fortunate enough to be experiencing his very own version of family bliss. Yet here he stood today as a husband and a father. He used to believe success was measured by one’s professional accomplishments. While the value of business metrics was still one of importance, Eisuke now also factored in the prosperity and good fortune he was privileged to be immersed in from MC and Eito.

“Always honest to a fault,” Eisuke retorted, trusting MC failed to notice his blush. “That’s a quality that deserves a reward, and I don’t intend on making you wait for reimbursement any longer. Come here, baby.” 

Reaching around behind MC, Eisuke placed his hand on her back. Pulling her into his embrace, MC’s body stiffened in a bashfulness from how intimately they were standing in public. The familiar masculine scent of his cologne radiated from his body as her husband wiggled MC even more snugly against him. Eisuke’s hot breath tickled the front of her neck, and his expression softened as he cupped her chin, and MC’s nerves instantly melted away. She wanted to kiss him, and she wanted to kiss him now. Rising on her tip toes, MC inched closer, drawing herself to the part of Eisuke’s lips until-

“Mom, take a look at what I found!” Eito boasted, interrupting his parents by suddenly making his way over. “I found you the perfect pumpkin!”Eito was grinning from ear to ear, his cheeks puffed out in pride as he held up a large, bright orange pumpkin. 

Stepping away from Eisuke, MC crouched down and extended her arms to greet Eito.“Eito, what a wonderful find,” MC cheered, genuinely impressed by the amount of though Eito was putting into ensuring he found her such an impeccable pumpkin.

“If that’s what you consider a superb pumpkin, then you have very juvenile taste,” Eisuke jabbed, miffed that his MC’s attention was taken from him. “Don’t ever present your mother with less than she deserves.”

“Eisuke….,” MC began to interject, but was left unheard since Eisuke was already headed towards the fields. 

“Don’t make excuses for him,” Eisuke replied. “Come on, Eito. Allow me to remind you of what constitutes as an Ichnomiya standard.”

“I don’t need you to tell me anything!” Eito argued. Despite his protests, Eito set aside his pride and chased after his father. 

MC watched from a distance as the two thoroughly inspected the rows of pumpkins. She was able to gather they were quarreling back and forth based on Eito’s everchanging facial expressions, but she was also able to observe the look of admiration Eito often held for Eisuke. Eito was intently hanging onto every word Eisuke spoke, and even divulged his appreciation by offering the billionaire a small nod in approval when they reached an agreement on the ideal pumpkin. Eisuke signaled for one of the workers to come assist, and Eito held the pumpkin proudly to his chest.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few weeks had passed since that fun day at the pumpkin patch. MC was about to leave their home and meet Eisuke in the lobby of the Tres Spades, when she caught a glimpse at the picture frame of the three of them on the coffee table. Her lips curled in a smile as she recollected that fond memory. Sparing one final peek at the happy photo, she eagerly stepped into the elevator.  

After riding down into the lobby, the doors to the elevator sprung open and MC gasped in awe at the marvelous scene decorating the entrance into the hotel. She could hardly believe that the entire face of the lobby was covered in pumpkins. Each was turned into a different type of jack-o-lantern; carved with intricate details, and brightly illuminating from the inside. The normal atmosphere was vastly transformed into a not-so-spooky Halloween theme.

 “Mom, you’re finally here!” Eito shouted as he ran across the room to greet her.

 “Conduct yourself more appropriately,” Eisuke scolded, frowning when Eito ignored him and continued to race towards his mother and tightly hug her.

“We had the farm deliver all of these pumpkins, and then dad and I asked Uncle Ota to design them since we thought it would make you happy! Did it work? Are you happy?” the little boy asked, his eyes widened in an impatient anticipation as he awaited his mom’s response.

“Of course, I’m happy! You two did an amazing job working together,” MC acknowledged in pride, also addressing Eisuke who had just finished walking over to join her and Eito. “What did I ever do to deserve to be spoiled like this by my two favorite men in the entire world?”

MC wrapped Eito up into a hug and reached out to grasp onto Eisuke’s hand. Knowing that Eisuke and Eito worked through their differences to come together as father and son and plan such an elaborate surprise for her was truly better than any physical gift they could present her with. 

“I love you, guys,” MC whispered, blinking back the tears of joy threatening to spill in elate of her excitement.

“Love you too, mom,” Eito murmured, blushing shyly at the direct confession.

Pressing a kiss on Eito’s forehead, MC captured Eisuke’s gaze with her own. Her eyes flashed in adoration when Eisuke lightly gave her hand a squeeze, and shared the sentimental smile he retained only for her.

I love you too, baby. I love you too.    

[tinybibmpreg]

Prompt 2/80, #36 - Did you honestly think that was going to impress me? ft. two of my S/tar T/rek ocs, Captain Cipher Nine and Li Ilik Dari’Oza

USS Sifr: Unimpressed

“Did you honestly think that was going to impress me?” Li Ilik drawled, leaning back against a workstation. He crossed his arms across his chest the best he could with two infants strapped there, tilted his head, and leveled Cipher with a glare so unimpressed Cipher slouched. He'd felt like quite the hero when he first turned around to see what his partner thought of his success in a firefight. Now that feeling of victory was rapidly fading away.

Even their daughters looked sorely disinterested in him, and they were just babies.

Foolishly, Cipher answered, “Kind of?”

Li Ilik’s scathing retort was instantaneous, “You wasted resources, time, took damage that could have been avoided, used tactics that were juvenile and utterly predictable, not at all suited to the situation at hand, and you were woefully unprepared. You spent far too much time trying to negotiate as well when we were immediately attacked.”

“I wasn't unprepared.”

“Oh, you were. If I'd been the captain-”

Cipher barely suppressed a grin, perking up. Li Ilik only pulled out that hypothetical in their debates when he was faltering in coming up with arguments, flustered and trying to rile him up fast. He wasn’t really unimpressed, despite the glare. “This is a Starfleet ship, Li. I'm far more suited.”

Li Ilik scoffed. “It doesn't matter. I have far more military experience than you. Don't forget, I was once the second in command of the flagship of the Cardassian military. Second only to-”

He was interrupted by a sharp, “I thought Captain Cipher did really well, Dari’Oza. It's been a while since you were even Dal, right? I bet you'd be rather rusty. You don't know what you're talking about.”

Cipher rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation as his first officer spoke. Even after so much time, the man didn't seem to realize Cipher didn't need his reputation or orders defended, especially not from Li Ilik, who criticized everything he did as Captain, according to traditional Cardassian courtship. It was the easiest and most passionate argument they could have. Li Ilik straightened immediately, tail lashing. His grey protofeathers ruffled, and he growled before storming off of the bridge. Well, not really storming, exactly, Cipher thought. With two babies always strapped to his chest or tucked in his arms, and a heavily pregnant belly hanging off of his slim figure, Li Ilik waddled off a bit more than he stalked off, lately.

It was very funny to watch, even though Cipher knew Li Ilik only took off like that instead of verbally ripping into whoever he felt insulted him when he was upset. Being pregnant again had made the Cardassian rather emotional. Cipher wanted to go after him, but he had work to do as Captain. He couldn't just run off right after a battle. He needed to review damage reports, assign repair teams, be there in case another ship showed up. Get the ship back in top shape before they could continue on their mission course. Then he could go see if Li Ilik was still offended.

“Okay. Do we have an update on the hull and shield status?”

“Yes, Captain. There was a hull breach near engineering, but no casualties. They're already fixing it. The shield is on its way back to 100%.”

“Excellent.” Cipher sat down in his chair and settled into his role as Captain.

For all of three minutes. Then his second officer walked in, looking a bit confused. Cipher greeted her, “Ah. Lieutenant Commander Rian. You have a report?”

“Um, yes. Though, uh, is Dari’Oza alright? I passed him on my way up. I thought he would be on the bridge- it looked like he was crying, almost…”

Li Ilik rarely cried, even when hormonal and overemotional in his pregnancy. Work would have to wait. Cipher stood up. “Commander, can you man the bridge for me? I’ll be back later.”

“Sure, Captain. I'll take that report then, Rian.” 

Cipher walked out of the bridge and onto the elevator. Once the doors closed, he asked for the lift to bring him to deck 8, where the Captain’s quarters were. He tapped his foot as it descended. He tried not to think about how slow the turbolift was when he was impatient, as it’d only make it seem even longer.

When the lift finally stopped on his deck, he practically leaped off of it, heading towards his quarters. He kept his pace quick in case he passed anyone. His crew tended to leave him be if he looked like he was in a hurry to get somewhere. Rian always told him he could be quite intense when he was determined, whether that be when he was having a conversation, fighting a battle, or simply making his way through the ship corridors.

As soon as he was in front of his quarters, he slapped the entrance panel and stepped in, calling, “Li? Girls?”

No sign of Li Ilik or the twins in the living room or dining area. Cipher reached out to give his cat, Fox, a pat on the head as he went for the master bedroom, which was currently shut. A rarity, since Cipher insisted it be kept open at all times so his cat could go in and out of the bedroom as she pleased. Li Ilik had grown fond of the animal the past few years, sometimes preferring her company over Cipher’s. He never closed the door unless he was very upset, too upset for even Fox to comfort.

He clicked for the door to open, but it stayed shut. Now very worried, he input his override code. The door slid open and he headed into the dimly lit room. Li Ilik was curled up on the bed, his face buried into a pillow to muffle his crying. His shoulders were wracked with sobs. The girls were sound asleep on the bed, each on their nursing pillows, with their father’s tail wrapped around them. Cipher rushed to his side, climbing onto the bed but being careful not to disturb the girls. “Li!”

“Go away.”

“No, you’re upset. I want you to talk to me.” He rubbed Li Ilik’s back. “Please?”

Li Ilik lifted his tear-stained face a bit. “Why bother? You know what’s wrong.”

“The thing with Commander Gaines?” 

Li Ilik nodded. Cipher pulled him up so he could hold him. Li Ilik kept a firm hold on the pillow but leaned against him. Cipher exhaled with relief. At least Li Ilik wasn’t angry with him, or else he would have fought the hold or pulled away. He reached over and pulled the girls closer, so Li Ilik could keep his tail around them. When he tried to kiss his temple, Li Ilik turned his head. So he was definitely upset with him, and not so much the first officer.

Cipher kissed the top of his head anyway. Normally he loved feeling the soft grey protofeathers that made up his husband’s hair, but now he couldn’t focus on that. “He’s a bit temperamental. Still, he shouldn’t have said that to you.”

Li Ilik shook his head, more tears welling up in his eyes. Cipher felt a bit helpless. It’d never bothered Li Ilik before when the first officer argued with him. Sure, he’d get offended, but he’d always get over it fairly quickly. But now it seemed like it was something a bit more than Gaines making a needless retort, something he’d missed.

“If the Commander didn’t upset you, what did? Did something happen on your way here?”

“You didn’t defend me!” Li Ilik cried. “You let him speak to me like that!”

“But you’ve never gotten upset about him before?”

“I don’t care what he says! He’s just some sycophant Federaji lackey-” Cipher filed that phrase away to laugh at later when all of this was over with and he was allowed to find it funny. “But you never defend me!”

“I- I didn’t know I needed to do that. You always defend yourself so well. You never seem to need my help.”

“How could you think that?” Li Ilik sobbed. “Do you find it okay that your subordinates flirt or offend me in front of you?”

“I don’t think Gaines was flirting with you,” Cipher said, then immediately wished he hadn’t. That wasn’t what he should have focused on.

“It doesn’t matter whether he was flirting or arguing with me!” Li Ilik hissed at him, voice rising. One of the girls mumbled and Li Ilik glanced down at her. He touched her with the tip of his tail, and she settled down. He crumpled, burying his face into the pillow again and sobbing miserably.

Cipher hugged him tightly, but Li Ilik squirmed out of his grip. “I don’t like when Gaines or the others upset you.”

“Then why do you let them do that? You’re the Captain, your subordinates shouldn’t be talking to your mate like that, especially not in front of you, in front of everyone, in front of our daughters, when I’m carrying your children-”

Man, Cipher thought, it really was bad that he was letting those things slide. He should have realized that his husband wanted him to speak up for him like a proper Cardassian mate would have. Or like a proper mate at all would have. Being human wasn’t even an excuse.

“I’ll talk to Gaines about it, I promise.” That seemed to soothe Li Ilik. Cipher kissed his hunter-eye, and Li Ilik took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. “I’m sorry I let things get this bad, Li. Shouldn’t have let you get into this state.”

“If you were Cardassian, this never would have happened. You would have kept all your men in line from the start,” Li Ilik told him, and Cipher knew he’d been forgiven.

“Oh, if I were Cardassian, you wouldn’t like me nearly as much.”

Li Ilik gave him an unimpressed glare, somehow just as effective even with his face wet with tears and his hair all ruffled.

Cipher grinned and kissed him, then pecked extra kisses on his cheek for good measure. Li Ilik pulled away to wipe off his face and try to fix his hair. “Enough, enough.”

“Oh, man, it freaks me out when you’re upset.”

“Then you should endeavor to be the best husband possible, so I’m not upset again,” Li Ilik told him, jabbing at his chest. “I don’t expect to cry again until you die and leave me a widower with four children to look after.”

Cipher rolled his eyes. “I won’t be dying that soon, geez.”

“Good.” Li Ilik thought for a moment and then added, “Unless of course, you die in an idiotic way. Then I won’t be crying over you.”

“I’ll die as a hero and you and the girls will weep over my body or what’s left of it in front of everyone, or in such a ridiculous way that you’ll be crying tears of frustration over how I could be such a fool. Deal?”

Li Ilik scoffed. Then, he asked, “Do you have to go back to the bridge?”

“Nah, I think Gaines and Rian have it handled. I’ll stay here with you and the girls until they need me.”

“Help me hold the children.” Li Ilik reached to gently pick up one of their daughters, careful not to wake her up. Cipher reached around Li Ilik to pick up the other twin and placed her in Li Ilik’s arm. Once he had them comfortably laying against his chest, the both of them nuzzling against the base of his throat, Li Ilik leaned back against Cipher. Smiling, Cipher wrapped his arms around Li Ilik, resting his hands on his belly.

It was nice to have his whole family in his arms. Cipher made sure to cherish it. The girls were going to get bigger and it’d be impossible for Li Ilik to try to hold two almost-toddlers and two newborns, though Cipher was certain that he’d try. And then as all the kids grew it’d be more and more difficult to fit them.

“Hello there, Fox.” Meowing, Cipher’s cat hopped up onto the bed and plodded around before sitting next to her owner and kneading the blankets. He scratched behind her ears and was glad when she started purring. Then she stood, stretched, and flopped down against him.

Now he had his whole family, he realized.

But before he could settle in again and maybe try giving Li Ilik some more kisses, his commbadge chimed. “Rian to Captain Cipher.”

Cipher sighed and hit his badge. “Cipher here.”

“Captain, we’re receiving a long-distance message from a ship similar to the one that attacked us. We need you on the bridge.”

“Put the ship on yellow alert and increase sensors, make sure to keep an eye on that ship, try to get a visual. I’m on my way. Cipher out.”

Grumbling, Li Ilik looked disappointed. Cipher detached himself from them, guiding his husband to lean against a pile of pillows.

“Duty calls,” Cipher said apologetically, giving Li Ilik another kiss. He pressed a kiss to the top of his daughter’s heads, and then one to Fox’s. She gave a small ‘mew’ in response. Finally, he dipped his head to press two kisses to Li Ilik’s belly, pulling up his shirt to kiss against his skin.

“H-hey!”

“Stay safe and get some rest. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He headed out of the bedroom, but then stopped and dipped his head back in. Smirking, he said, “And by the way, I think I made excellent decisions in battle as Captain today.”

Completely flustered, Li Ilik hissed back, “No, you didn’t!”

“Love you too, Li. Love you, girls!” Grinning like a fool, he left his quarters and went to the bridge.

-

As it turned out, the ship that had attacked them was a stolen ship commandeered by criminals, and the ship contacting them, a military ship in pursuit of the theives, was very grateful for the sensor readings they could provide and the course heading of where the damaged ship had run away after being overpowered. They were given permission to head to the ship’s system of origin, an invitation of first contact.

It would take three days to get there, and once things were underway and all repairs were sorted out and started, Cipher stood up, beamed down at his first officer, and said, “Commander, can I see you in my ready room?”

“Of course, Captain.”

Cipher led Gaines into his ready room. He sat down behind his desk and flicked at a stray marble that had escaped its display container. It rolled towards the edge of the desk but bumped into the little siding he’d had installed to prevent his collection from falling.

Gaines sat down in front of the desk, watching him flick the marble. “Did you want to go over first contact procedures, sir?”

“Oh, no. We won’t be able to do that until tomorrow anyway when we get that information packet from their capital they promised.”

“Then what is it, sir? I thought you’d be headed straight down to your quarters once things were quiet, to be with your family.”

“Once this is done with, I will.” Cipher plucked up the marble and set it back where it belonged. “And funny that you bring up my family, actually-”

“Yeah, Rian already ripped into me about earlier. I didn’t mean to make Dari’Oza cry, sir. He’s just… very insulting.”

Cipher shrugged. “I know you don’t like my husband. Cardassians can be an acquired taste.”

“I don’t think it’s a taste I’ll get used to.”

Cipher appreciated that Gaines was so honest, and he liked him. He hoped that Gaines wouldn’t be too upset. Li Ilik’s feelings mattered more, though.

“I hope you’re not aware that Cardassians flirt by arguing, Drew. I know Li and I probably shouldn’t be so brazen on the bridge, but in a proper Cardassian romance, the couple argues all the time. It’s very fun, getting riled up.”

“I… I didn’t know that, Captain.”

“I tried to give you time to figure it out so I didn’t embarrass you, but then I realized enough is enough. Even if Li Ilik wasn’t just doing a Cardassian courting tradition, I don’t like how you speak to him. You shouldn’t be purposefully trying to argue with or offending your captain’s spouse, especially not when he’s pregnant. And you absolutely shouldn’t be so disrespectful in front of the bridge crew, in front of me, and in front of our daughters.”

Gaines looked thoroughly ashamed. “I’m sorry, Captain. I shouldn’t have been unprofessional.”

“Great! I look forward to things being better from now on. Also, I think Li Ilik is, hm… a bit pettier now that he’s so pregnant, so he’ll probably try to rile you up to upset you. Not in the good way that he does to me, either. Use all of your training and Starfleet determination to resist, okay?”

“Captain…!”

“I’d tell him not to, but it would not go over well. Imagine telling an almost full-term pregnant human not to do something. That would be a disaster. Now imagine telling a Cardassian. Yeah, that won’t happen.” Cipher laughed. “Dismissed, Commander. You have the bridge. Now I’m going to go to my quarters and spend time with my family. I’m sure Li Ilik’s been prepping on how to criticize any first contact ideas I might have, and I’m looking forward to it.”

[milarvela]

By his own admission, John Barrowman has always been notorious in showbusiness circles. 'I'm known for my jokes, my sense of fun, my high jinks,' he says.

But those 'high jinks' have come back to haunt him recently as a result of serious allegations against his former Doctor Who co-star Noel Clarke.

John's role as Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who began in 2005 and the character was given his own spin-off series, the far more adult Torchwood, a year later.

It launched a hugely successful career for John on both stage and screen, taking in leading roles in West End musicals, big-budget US TV shows such as superhero series Arrow, and homegrown light entertainment favourites like All Star Musicals and most recently Dancing On Ice, where he's one of the judges. He was by anyone's measure a family-friendly favourite.

Then a couple of months ago the sky fell in. Following accusations of sexual harassment against Noel Clarke, who played Mickey Smith – the boyfriend of Billie Piper's character Rose – in Doctor Who from 2005 until 2010, historic footage emerged on YouTube of a sci-fi convention, Chicago Tardis, in 2014, released by The Guardian newspaper which had investigated Clarke's behaviour on the Doctor Who set.

In an interview in front of a live audience, Clarke is seen regaling fellow cast members Annette Badland and Camille Coduri with tales of John's behaviour on the set of Doctor Who, exposing himself 'every five seconds'. Clarke then jokes with the audience not to do this at their workplace or they might go to prison.

The allegations levelled against Clarke are extremely serious. At least 20 women have come forward to accuse him of sexual harassment and bullying, 'inappropriate touching and groping' and secretly filming naked auditions before sharing the videos without consent.

He denies all the allegations, but BAFTA has since suspended the Outstanding Contribution award it bestowed on him just weeks earlier, and the BBC has shelved any future projects he was working on with them.

Now John's behaviour on the sets of both Doctor Who and Torchwood has come under scrutiny once again. The furore has led to a video of Captain Jack Harkness being expunged from the current immersive Doctor Who theatre show Time Fracture, a planned Torchwood audio production featuring John and former Doctor Who lead David Tennant being scrapped and doubt about whether he will be invited back to the Dancing On Ice panel.

ITV will announce the line-up for the next series in September. John immediately issued an apology following the emergence of the video back in May, but today he's decided to speak exclusively and candidly to Weekend to give his side of the story.

'The moment has come to set the record straight,' he says from the Palm Springs, California, home he shares with his husband Scott Gill. 'This is the first time – and the last – I will address this subject. And then I plan to draw a thick black line under it.'

Firstly he says it's important to set the scene. On the set of Torchwood, which followed a team of alien hunters and explored themes of sexuality and corruption, he had what might be called a 'relaxed' attitude to nudity, and would wander around in an open robe. But it's claimed that he was well known for flashing and mooning at cast and crew alike on both the Doctor Who and Torchwood sets.

As Captain Jack Harkness I was the star of Torchwood, so I felt it was down to me to lead the company and keep them entertained,' he explains. 'When I was doing a nude scene or a love scene it was clear in the script I'd be naked and everyone would have known about that at least 48 hours in advance. So I'd be waiting in my trailer wearing just a robe with a sock over my "parts". Then, if I were standing waiting to film a scene where I needed to be nude and someone came into view, I'd make a joke to put them and myself at ease. My actions were simply designed to defuse any potential awkwardness among the cast and crew.

'I've never been someone who's embarrassed about his body so it didn't bother me if anyone saw me naked,' he adds. 'The motivation for what I'd call my "tomfoolery" was to maintain a jokey atmosphere. There was absolutely nothing sexual about my actions and nor have I ever been accused of that.' Whether this sort of behaviour would defuse any awkwardness, or actually foster it, is debatable.

WHY I'VE GONE INTO THERAPY

This scandal has clearly not left John unscathed. 'It was upsetting my mental health,' he tells me. 'My husband Scott suggested I talk to somebody. I won't discuss what I've said in therapy sessions – that's a matter of doctor/patient confidentiality – but I don't mind admitting it's helped me a great deal.

'It's made me aware that despite how much cancel culture may talk about respecting people's mental health, too often they don't respect the mental health of the people they're trying to cancel. So I needed to understand what was happening, which is why I went to speak to somebody.'

Has he had more than one session? 'Yes. It's a conversation that's still going on,' he says with a wry laugh. 'Seriously, whatever the situation, if you feel you need to reach out to someone it's very important to keep talking.'

'If what happened had taken place in the changing rooms after a rugby match it would be regarded as no more than a prank,' he continues. 'On the other hand, it's never going to happen in an accountant's office or a supermarket. But my job is not a regular nine-to-five, we're a family working long hours and in close proximity to each other.' Again, one has to bear in mind that a rugby changing room would be an all-male environment. There were many women in the cast and crew of the TV shows.

'In the theatre quick costume changes happen in the wings all the time, with everyone stripping off to get into their new outfits in time for the next scene,' he says. 'Girls might be braless, boys only in jockstraps. That's just how it is and no one gives it a second thought. But I accept that my behaviour at the time could have caused offence.'

Although John's recollection is that no one complained at the time, and he says that no one has complained since, at one point he was called in for a private conversation with Julie Gardner, an executive producer on Doctor Who and Torchwood. She has confirmed to The Guardian that she did receive a complaint.

'My antics had come to her attention and she told me I should rein in my behaviour,' he recalls. 'In blunt terms, she had just two words of advice: "Grow up!" That struck a chord. I did as I was told and my behaviour changed overnight. I'd still be full of jokes and fun, but no more naked pranks. I can see now my actions were pretty juvenile but this was a different time and it's something I would not do today.'

When these rumours were swirling back in 2008, it's also said John exposed himself during a Radio 1 interview in which his behaviour was being discussed. He denies this today.

'I was being goaded by the presenters about my reported behaviour on the Doctor Who set. I went along with it but I didn't actually do anything inappropriate in the studio. What would have been the point, it was on the radio? Still, it created such a stir that the following day I decided to make a full public apology and get on with my life.'

And that might have been that, but for the accusations against Noel Clarke coming to light. 'It seems to me that I've become collateral damage to a much bigger story,' says John.

Given his and Clarke's high profiles and the severity of the allegations against Clarke, this is hardly surprising. Has he spoken to his former co-star since the balloon went up?

'I have not.' Does he plan to? 'I do not. But listen, I'm not trying to cast myself in the role of victim here.' That said, he clearly resents these stories re-emerging, although he has had messages of support.

'In fact many members of the cast and crew have been in touch since this latest storm blew up giving me their support,' he insists. 'I won't name them because I don't want anyone to find themselves in the firing line.'

However, Gareth David-Lloyd, who played bisexual Jack Harkness's lover Ianto Jones in Torchwood, has chosen to go public about working with John. 'In my experience John's behaviour on set was always meant to entertain, make people laugh and keep their spirits and energy high on what were sometimes very long working days,' he said.

'It may be because we were so close as a cast that professional lines were sometimes blurred in the excitement. I was too inexperienced to know any different but we were always laughing. The John I knew on set would never have behaved in a way he thought was affecting someone negatively. From what I know of him, that is not his nature. He was a whirlwind of positive energy, always very generous, kind and a wonderfully supportive lead actor.'

In the weeks following this new public scrutiny John has had time to reflect, and has come to the conclusion there are two issues. One is the aftermath of the #MeToo movement; the other is cancel culture.

'I'm a supporter of #MeToo because no person should ever feel that in order to succeed in their career they can be coerced into doing something sexual against their will.

'My problem with cancel culture, on the other hand, is that it can take the form of intolerance and prejudice. It's a culture with no shades of grey. There's no leeway for forgiveness or room for recognising any change in someone's behaviour. Cancel culture tends to talk at you or past you or through you, rather than listen to you. Dialogue is extremely rare.'

He sounds upset now. 'Look, I'm in a good place,' he insists. 'I've got a great husband, a great family, a great "fan family" around me. But I've found it difficult. And yes, some of the things that were being said have been hurtful.

'Scott and I would go to bed on a Saturday night dreading the stories in the Sunday papers. And then I'd wake up to lies. One newspaper printed as fact that I'd been dropped as a judge by Dancing On Ice. Well, apart from the fact that the new panel isn't decided until the autumn, no one from ITV had spoken to me or my agent about this latest upset.'

Ashley Banjo, leader of dance troupe Diversity and a fellow Dancing On Ice judge, has only worked with John for the past couple of years so did not know him during the time of the behaviour he's now being scrutinised for, but has publicly spoken out in support.

'I've told John I'd readily work with him again,' said Ashley. 'He's always fun on Dancing On Ice and he's been very respectful and considerate. I'd like to see him come back. The impression I get from this story is it's something small and historic, something blown out of proportion. What I'm not a supporter of in regard to cancel culture is when the speed of allegation is much faster than the speed of investigation. Before I make a judgment I want to see and understand the facts.'

There has been outrage on Twitter, with many users pointing out that John's 'tomfoolery' could be regarded as indecent exposure, and that the fact it happened among work colleagues is no excuse. 'You don't do that in work. You don't do it full stop. If you did it in the city centre you'd be arrested,' posted one user.

So does he regret the way he behaved? 'You can't wind the clock back,' he says.

'They were different times, which is why I wouldn't do now what I did then. I've acknowledged that by the way my behaviour has changed. The trouble is that certain cancel culture enthusiasts are not allowing me to acknowledge it. I've always believed that the reason I was put on this planet was to bring joy to people, make them laugh. How I do that has evolved over the years. I'm still using humour, just in a different way than might have been the case ten or 20 years ago.'

Now, he says, he wants to move on, both personally and professionally. Many years ago he bought a house for his parents down the street from where he lives with Scott.

'They're getting on now and I've been their primary carer throughout the pandemic, doing their shopping, getting their prescriptions from the pharmacy and so on. My mother broke her pelvis at one stage but she's on the mend now. I'm just thankful I can keep an eye on her and my father. I'm thankful too to the scientists for coming up with the means by which we can combat Covid via vaccinations, and the healthcare workers for administering them and looking after us so selflessly. We owe them a great debt of gratitude.'

What about professionally? 'Well, I'm at the early stages of putting together a show full of anecdotes and songs that will tour throughout the UK when restrictions are finally lifted. As far as I'm concerned, it's back to business as usual.'

But it remains to be seen later this year with the announcement of the line-up for Dancing On Ice whether John's career too might be put on ice.

***

I can see now my actions were pretty juvenile but this was a different time and it's something I would not do today.'

Well, to be blunt, he’s too old to be doing it anyway, people would just roll they eyes at a pathetic old lech instead of maybe giggling at a younger man’s adorable/innocent/whatever tomfoolery.

'In fact many members of the cast and crew have been in touch since this latest storm blew up giving me their support,' he insists. 'I won't name them because I don't want anyone to find themselves in the firing line.'

I think he should name them. Just for fun. Come on! Because I doubt there have been (m)any. If this story teaches anything, it’s that whatever you say/do can come back to haunt your celebrity status years later in most unexpected ways. Or maybe he was always the intended main course, Noel Clarke only the appetiser...

[boarix]

7 Day S.P.E.C.I.A.L.

3. Essential Personnel

Starring: Courier 6 Snowflake, Craig Boone and Rex (Fallout New Vegas (as part of the Wraith in the Ruins AU))

Trigger warnings: canon violence/language/gun use/animal injury/suggestive content

 “It’s a shit gun, Snow.”

“It’ll be fine, Bubba.”

“No.” Craig Boone’s headshake was a subtle motion, almost like he was working a kink out of his neck. He held the AMR out toward the courier, “It jams.”

“You mean, ‘it has jammed’.” Snowflake gave the other man his brightest smile, “That rifle has incredible power at long range…”

“I’d do better with mine, closer…”

“Nope, I need you to stay up here. You can see into the quarry, right?”

Snowflake was on a mission to collect the head of an alpha male deathclaw as proof to Chomps Lewis that Quarry Junction was clear as well as a clutch of deathclaw eggs for the ravishing leader of The Thorn, Red Lucy. His optimistic declaration of “two birds with one stone” wasn’t sitting well with his somber companion. Especially once Snowflake had told him the plan.

“The scope is fine. I just don’t think it’s safe for you to have me so far away.”

“Bubba, if shit goes sideways, I’m gonna need room.” He held his large arms out to either side, flexing.

Boone was unimpressed, “Take Rex with you.”

The dog had been intensely sniffing at a crack in the cliffside but trotted over to Boone as soon as he heard his name. The sniper, in turn, absentmindedly shouldered the enormous rifle to reach down to pat his flank.

“Well, I can’t do that. Who’s gonna have your back if we’re both down there?”

Boone pointed over his shoulder, “The mountain.”

Snowflake frowned down at the dog, “I guess so… you wanna come with daddy and go chase some lizards?” While the dog pranced about, barking enthusiastically, the courier did a last check on his equipment.

When he saw that the courier picked up his Blade of the West, (dubbed Butter Knife) Boone frowned critically, “You’re not taking that thing with you, are you?”

“Craig Daniel Boone, please stop nagging me!” He turned away to begin his careful decent from the cliff.

“My middle name isn’t Daniel…”

“It was a joke, Bubba.”

“No. Jokes are funny.”

 The plan was simple: using Stealth Boys, the courier would sneak past and count the resident deathclaws while locating the clutch of eggs. Along the way he would deploy frag mines, and then find his own perch to snipe from. They would each take one or two strategic shots to stir the reptiles up, and then eliminate the threat in relative safety. Or as Snowflake had put it, “It’ll be easy! Like shootin’ fish in a barrel.”

After politely telling the dog to stay, Snowflake activated a Stealth-Boy and crept along the narrow canyon and down into the quarry floor. He caught a whiff of deathclaw scat and followed his nose around a particularly large conveyer/excavator, laying mines as he went. Despite his earlier bravado he was still momentarily frozen when he turned a corner and came face to face with sleeping juvenile. He sucked in his breath as the beast grunted and shifted in its sleep. Satisfied that it was going to carry on in dreamland, he peered around its haunch and saw that its brethren were all in a similar repose.

Apparently, it was dragon nap time.      

Finally locating the eggs, he removed his shoulder bag and carefully packed them away. As he turned to head back to the excavator he was hit with a waft of the cloying smell of death and rot. The odor was sufficient warning and he dodged to his left as an enormous, sickle-shaped claw slashed through the air; missing him by a hair’s breadth. Abandoning stealth in favor of speed he sprinted toward the conveyor in the hopes that the beast wouldn’t be able to climb up the boom after him. The deathclaw reared back and bellowed, rousing its pack to war.

Shit may have been heading in an adjacent direction.

Not only was the deathclaw able to climb the conveyor belt, it was doing so much faster than Snowflake was. Dodging on the narrow platform while the creature took swipes at him took all of his coordination and he was too hard-pressed to get off a rifle shot. At a certain point he ended up hanging underneath while it tried in vain to poke its claws through the gap between the belt and the steel frame. Glancing down, he could see a rather large gathering of the lizards forming underneath him.

“Well, doesn’t that just rot yer socks…?”  

 Boone sat waiting for the signal shot. Switching between the gun scope and his binoculars he was muttering to himself in frustration, “Too damn long. Can’t see anybody. Where are you?” It never occurred to him to change position. After all, the courier told him to ‘stay’.

 Snowflake watched in frustration as the quarry’s full complement of deathclaws (save for his conveyer belt companion) avoided his mines and settled themselves beneath him, waiting for his arm strength to give out. He briefly considered whistling for Rex, but dismissed it just as quickly. Sure, the dog might have provided a useful distraction, but he might also be hurt and the courier would rather die than let that happen. Desperate times called for desperate measures, “Well, now that I have all y’alls attention, won’t you please consider this?” Letting go with one hand, he grabbed a frag grenade from his belt, pulled the pin with his teeth and dropped it.

Several of them leaped out of the way which triggered the mines which in turn triggered the vehicles and other machinery. Soon the entire quarry floor was flashing and shaking as one explosion after another rocked the very earth.

“Ooopsfuckingshit!”

 Boone was confused by the sudden light show. This wasn’t the signal that he and the courier had discussed. The percussive blasts reaching his ears snapped him back to his task and he looked through the AMR’s scope for his first target. The clouds of dust and debris made this nearly impossible and when he finally found a deathclaw to aim for, the gun jammed. Looking down at the useless rifle and then at the hellfire of the quarry, the sniper decided that, regardless of orders, Snowflake needed him.

Throwing the gun to the ground, he half ran, half slid, down the side of the ridge. The sharp rocks rolled up the sleeve of his uniform jacket and cut his arm in the process. Ignoring the wound, he drew his combat knife and sprinted as fast as he could toward were he judged the first explosion came from.

What he saw he couldn’t fully comprehend.

There was what appeared to be a glowing one fighting the few surviving deathclaws. Leaping, spinning and dodging, it was wielding Butter Knife in an expert display of swordsmanship. Slicing at the tendons in wrist, knee and ankle, they brought down several of the beasts, rendering them helpless. Then, to Boone’s further astonishment, they brandished Snowflake’s revolver, sending shot after shot into the open mouths and eyes of the creatures.

When the alpha charged the glowing warrior, they sent out an enormous blast of radiation causing the beast to stager and rear back from the heat. Then, taking advantage of the deathclaw’s exposed throat, they made several slices in rapid succession, the last swing causing the head to come free and fly in Boone’s direction. When the sniper stepped out of the way, the glowing one saw the movement from their peripheral and raised the magnum as if to shoot.

Sudden recognition froze Boone in his tracks as he stared into the unmistakable eyes of his friend. Rather than make an attempt to evade, he threw his arms out wide and flexed his chest toward Snowflake; as if asking him to shoot.

“Boone?!” Lowering the now melting revolver, the glowing courier slammed the remains of Butter Knife into the ashen quarry floor and leaned heavily against it, “What the fuck!”

“What do you mean ‘what that fuck’? WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU?!” Suddenly angry, the sniper yelled back at his friend, “ARE YOU… what… How are you doing that!?”

“Never mind this, did you just… what were you… do you know what it would do to me if I accidentally shot you?!”

“I just thought… that if it was you… I’d be okay with it being you.” Boone was so confused and mentally turned around; he didn’t know what to do or where to look and he stood awkwardly with blood dripping from his fingers.

“I need your help! I can’t do this without you! And that’s… that is not how I want to show my love for you, Boone.”

“You… love me?”

The halo of light around Snowflake had begun to diminish. It was becoming clear that all of his clothes, hair and a good portion of his skin had burned away. Exhausted, he dropped to his knees and would have fallen over, had Boone not rushed to catch him.

The sniper took off his jacket and tucked the other man into it, “What are you talking about?!”

Snowflake smiled up at him and when he spoke, his voice, although ragged, was closer to normal, “You’re my best friend; of course I love ya. You’re my brother, Boone.”

“Oh.” The sniper gave the courier a brief squeeze and looked around at the carnage, “This got messy. Where’s Rex?”

“You wrap up your arm, take some Rad-X and go look for him. I need to just… I have to lay here a minnit.”

After about an hour, Boone returned carrying both the dog (who despite having lost both of his rear cyber limbs, seemed to be pain-free and happy) and miraculously, Snowflake’s pack.

“I’m sorry super pup! Don’t worry; I know Raul can fix you up.” Snowflake was in a fetal position, trying to fit as much of himself as possible into Boone’s coat and his voice was muffled, “Ha ha, that rhymed!”

“Are you… going to be okay?”

“Sure. This isn’t the first time this has happened, you know? Although… I’m always afraid my hair won’t grow back. Do me a favor and don’t tell anyone? People wouldn’t understand.”

“I don’t understand.”

 Boone went back up the cliff to retrieve the rest of their equipment (including spare clothes for Snowflake) and then the trio spent the night huddled together. In the morning, Snowflake’s condition had much improved and had even begun to grow back skin.

“Is that where your nickname come from? Why you wear gloves? From the scars?”

“Yes and no.” The courier was surprised and a little excited that Boone would ask him such personal questions, “I wasn’t nuclear for very long yesterday and these burns are… different. It’ll take a little bit but I should regrow most of what skin I lost yesterday. No, these…” he held out his hands and gestured to his face, “are from when I was a kid and my family’s wagon hit a land mine. I wasn’t in it; was riding our big horner, Ladd, alongside. The shrapnel cut me up real bad and I burned my hands trying to pull my brother from the wreck. Other families in our caravan took pity on me and would share their food, but their kids started calling me ‘Snowflake’ on account of all my little white scars.” His smile was forced, “No two alike!”

Boone was quiet for a moment as he studied the courier’s face. When he spoke his voice was soft, “Kids can be mean. Why did you keep the nickname?”

“Well, I figured I’d steal some of their fun by ownin’ it. Sides, ‘a snowflake in the desert’ sounds romantic, right? Who doesn’t root for the underdog?”

“Right.”

“Speakin’ of dogs; which would you prefer?” He gestured to Rex and then the severed head of the alpha deathclaw, “Doggy style or head?”

Boone rolled his eyes as he gathered the dog into his arms, “I’ll carry Rex, thanks.”

“Oh, c’mon, Bubba, that was a joke!”

“No. Jokes are funny.”

[dingoat]

Relationship Asks for Ahuska and Five: 2, 4, 7, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 27, 28, 29.

OH BOY OH BOY *cracks knuckles* time for another round of BEST GIRL VS WORST BOY.

Obviously this one needs a ‘read more’ (or ‘stick it behind a cut’ as my old school livejournal brain still thinks of it) because it’s gonna be a looonnnng one ahahaha. Some of these I’ve answered already but I’m just gonna copy-paste the responses here to keep it all together, especially since I’m gonna go through question by question for the sake of fun comparisons/contrasts rather than character by character!

2.  ♥  When they have a crush on someone, how do they let them know?

Ahuska finds ways to be around them as much as possible and offers rapt attention to everything they say and do, showing interest in every part of their life, even the things she’d never given a second thought for beforehand. She’ll initiate physical contact, often in that ‘accidental’ sort of way- a hand touch that lingers, sliding down a bench a little ‘too far’ and winding up pressed together at the hips, feet bumping under a table, but sometimes more overt things like snuggling down and resting her head in a lap while staying up late watching holos might happen...

Five does not crush, he’s not twelve years old. When he has an interest in someone he may spend a period of time testing for compatability, pushing and pressing for reactions, and if he finds himself still interested (but for whatever reason nothing has naturally escalated in the meanwhile), he will quite simply and overtly request private company.

4. ♥ Do they spend a lot of time in the courting stage or attempt to get to first base as fast as possible?

Ahuska likes the thought of a long courtship, being wooed and pursued, teasing and flirting and yearning... but though she doesn’t actively try to rush her way to ‘first base’, precedent definitely suggests that once the option is there, no matter the time frame, she doesn’t really hesitate.

Five considers ‘first base’ (if you must phrase it in such a juvenile fashion) to be a starting point.

7.  ♥ How do they feel about polygamy?

Ahuska’s intial gut reaction, when asked, is that it’s vastly preferable to having an affair! She thinks it’s a perfectly acceptable style of relationship, but it’s not something she’s ever related to herself- the thought that she might ever find herself loving and desiring more than one someone so deeply as to want them in her life to the same degree seems so beyond the realms of possibility that it’s just never crossed her mind. (Yet.)

However; she is incredibly committed and loyal in her relationships, and if she did find herself in such a place, she wouldn’t be able to handle sneaking behind backs or lies or secrecy; the guilt and misery and betrayal of trust would be the end of her. She would have to either leave one forever unrecognised/unsatisfied, or give polygamy some long and serious thought and very open discussion.

Five doesn’t really care what other people do, but it’s irrelevant to him because it suggests any kind of committed relationship at all. He simply sees who he wants, when he wants, and if anyone gets jealous of anyone else then that sounds like a them problem.

16. ♥ Do they have at least one bonding activity they devote to doing with their partner exclusively?

Aside from the obvious, I’m not sure Ahuska makes a point of keeping any particular activity exclusive? Sweet, potentially romantic activities like stargazing and long moonlit walks might naturally happen far more with the love of her life, but I don’t think she’d ever turn down the chance to do so with a close friend either (there’d just be less... hand-holding and cheek snuggles).

One might have thought that Five had a whole host of bonding activities exclusive to a single particular person... but what with that being more of a Watcher-Cipher thing, rather than a partners thing, that ‘exclusivity’ no longer exactly completely applies, whoops. (Granted, the new Cipher is not likely to ever experience the push-off-a-building trust exercise.) That said, it’s very likely that Thirteen is actually the only person who gets to experience Five in the context of completely casual, physical, and dare I say... affectionate company.

17. ♥ What sort of characteristics or quirks draw them to someone?

Ahuska needs to see the capacity for kindness, even if it’s wrapped in a crude, brash or sharp-edged package- or maybe especially so, because she is a little bit hopeless for a show of snark, cheek, and sharp wit (provided it’s not at her expense) and someone not afraid to draw blood to protect what they care about. She loves unexpected talents like dance or musical ability being sprung on her out of the blue, and she’s weak for demonstrations of confident competence.

Five is drawn to someone who can give and take as well as he can. Intelligence, attractiveness, skill. Wit and snark quite specifically at his expense so he has the opportunity to fight back; he wants to be challenged, but not beaten. His heart thunders for someone more physically capable than himself who he can, nonetheless, bring to their knees.

18. ♥ Do they have a ‘type’?

I thought Ahuska had a type, but I seem to have discovered that her heart is not quite so specific and compatability can come in more than one shape and size. She has a lot of love to give and can find it in very unexpected places.

Five definitely goes for people who demonstrate one very specific physical characteristic.

19. ♥ What was their first impression about their partner/person they are courting?

When Ahuska first saw Crow, she was struck with the fact that he didn’t carry himself with the alpha-dog machismo she’d come to expect from fellow Mandalorians of his particular demographic. And when he turned his grin her way, he very very firmly snared her attention.

When Ahuska first met Blakk, she simply thought he was a delightful, feisty, dear little fox, and was absolutely besotted with him, if not in the way that she eventually became (after the wildest possible ride of misunderstandings and twisted events and broken trust and reforged faith).

Five, I think, would have made a very swift and completely superficial assessment, found it very pleasing (provided there was no fashion disaster occurring at the time), and opened himself up to learning more. It wouldn’t have taken long to be drawn into that personality, either.

21. ♥ What was the most romantic time they had with their partner?

Ahuska’s most romantic time with Crow would almost definitely be their space-walk through the ice fields of Saleucami, followed by some slightly less life-threatening zero gravity playtime within the safety of their ship’s cargo hold. They’ve had a lot of terribly sweet moments but I’m not sure that any compare to that honeymoon trip.

With Blakk, Ahuska has experienced a number of wonderfully romantic moments... in their shared dreams. It can be hard to compete with a world where auroras and starlight of your own creation dance to the beat of your hearts as you discover just how real you are to one another, but in many ways that last morning they spent together in person before parting, before anything between them was properly admitted or understood, waking to the warmth of the sun and sharing a long breakfast together full of soft yearning and denial of the inevitable separation to come ranks very high on the heart aching romance scale.

Five understands ‘textbook romance’ perfectly well and has probably walked through all the steps with great success a number of times when seducing marks back in his Cipher days. But when it comes to his own actual desires….. it really is hard to apply the word ‘romantic’. Granted, he does enjoy the finer things in life and takes great pride in being a very good cook, and a certain someone knows exactly how to push his buttons to get most exactly what he wants out of him when he feels like it. So there probably have been some almost ‘nice’ evenings of home cooked meals and fine wine and bath oils, at least to begin with….?

22. ♥ Tell us about a sacrifice they made for their significant other.

Ahuska gave up Clan life, the chance to rise through the ranks and be the Mandalorian she never thought she could, and a lot of her innocence, to be with and stay with Crow.

For Blakk, Ahuska broke off her current romance, turned her back on her safety net, and basically gave up everything she had... just for the hope that they might find away to actually be together.

Five gave up a significant measure of control on two distinct occassions, both of which were considerably big deals for him.

23. ♥ Do they apologize to their partner even if it wasn’t their fault?

Ahuska will readily and even pre-emptively take on the blame for almost anything. If something is genuinely her fault, she will apologise profusely and genuinely, probably through tears, and feel bad about it long after forgiveness has been given. She will offer apologies even when not directly at fault if she thinks it will help to calm down or diffuse a situation.

Five, though, doesn’t do the ‘accepting blame’ thing and certainly won’t shoulder somebody else’s. The one occassion where he has accepted responsibility, he’s never actually said the word sorry aloud, and he’s not even come clean about the real circumstances. But his guilt over the matter is expressed still to this day, through actions and gifts that are never actually directly linked to the event in question.

27. ♥ Have they had dreams about their partner/the person they are courting?

Ahuska most certainly has; dreams are a significant part of every reality she experiences, and often a way that binds them together, so naturally the significant people in her life feature prominently. She’s leery of anything that has a sense of being prophetic, but does believe she’s witnessed possible futures in her dreams and the ones that suggest a long and full life with Crow are her favourites.

Through her Force-bond with Blakk, she’s been able to actually share dreams with him, which have been very profound experiences... but at the moment her dreams are only dreams, and any real senses she gets of him vanish the moment she tries to focus enough to actually reach him. It hurts.

Five dreams as anyone does, and there’s no doubt Thirteen would feature in them regularly. Nothing magical, nothing profound or prophetic, just good old fashioned disjointed images that the brain strings together in a loose approximation of a plot. What’s most disconcerting is if he makes any sort of appearance in his recurring nightmares.

28. ♥ Do they understand their partners/person they are courting’s feelings without them having to say anything?

Ahuska becomes very attuned to the people she cares most about; she’s naturally a very sensitive person who wants to understand her partners’ feelings, and her desire to understand and do the best for the people she loves is only ever enhanced by her connection to the Force. She’s connected to Crow through all their years and shared experiences together, and being tuned into the beat of his heart definitely helps her know his feelings despite what he might show on the outside. With Blakk she has the benefit of being literally bonded through the Force but... well. Hopefully they wind up back in a position where understanding one anothers’ feelings is a legitimate thing they can do. ;_;

Five is quite astute, if not completely fool-proof, and when he puts the effort in can do quite a servicable job of knowing where someone’s feelings are at- manipulation is one of the tools of his trade, after all. Just how much he actually cares to do so is a different story, but, well... stranger things have certainly happened. He might try to claim that Thirteen is an open book to him, but that might just be what Thirteen wants him to think.

29. ♥ How do they express their love to their partner?

Ahuska gives freely and openly, her time, her energy, her patience, her body and soul. She will share anything and everything, she will take risks for her partner and forsake all the rest of the galaxy for them. She will find little tokens to gift them; she will feature them amongst her sketches regularly, she will listen to them and back them up and walk beside them on the most foolardy of pursuits. She will find what matters to them, she will discover what they react and respond to best, and she will make it so. Ahuska doesn’t know how to love in any way other than giving it her all.

Five would never use so soft and loaded a term as ‘love’. That is for a completely different caliber of people, people he cares little for. Allowing someone into his apartment, into his personal space, is a reasonable demonstration fo trust. Giving someone his time outside of and completely unrelated to work is a monumental demonstration of fondness. A willingness to touch and be touched outside of immediate bedroom activities is a grand display of affection. Offering financial assistance/security is an unspoken indication that someone matters to him. Lump it all together and he’d still sooner shoot himself in the foot than admit aloud that he cares.

[scripttorture]

Do you have anything on interrelation/torture during the McCarthy era? Were Russian immigrants at risk?

My knowledge of American history can be more accurately summarised as ‘African American history’.

 I can tell you about the tortures commonly used by American police officers at the time, but I have no idea how serious the risk to ethnic Russians was. What I can do is discuss who is at risk of torture generally and let you make up your mind about how that fits into your story.

 Torture practices can change within decades and I don’t have anything specific to America in the 1950s. So what I’m doing here is making a guess based what was common in the 1920s and what was common in the 1970s (when there are fairly good studies on American jails and prisons). The majority of this is via Rejali.

 The Wickersham Commission identified these as common tortures in American jails during the 20s and 30s:

Sleep deprivation- conducted by relay interrogation

Sleep deprivation- using constant strong light

Clean beating- usually with objects

Electrical torture

Exhaustion exercises

Standing stress positions

Dry choking- bags over heads or tightening neck ties

 The Wickersham Commission found other tortures in use as well. I’ve tried to list the most common ones.

 It’s important to note that electrical torture in this period wasn’t done using Tasers, stun guns or electrical prods. Tasers didn’t become common in American policing until relatively late, Rejali puts it as the 1980s.

 There was a lot of electrical torture in America prior to this. But it wasn’t consistent. By the 1950s it would probably have been clean (ie non-scarring), though the equipment used and the way it was done would have varied between states and even between police stations.

 US military torture in recent decades has mostly consisted of a combination of starvation, sleep deprivation, clean beatings, standing stress positions, electrical torture (with Tasers and stun guns) and waterboarding. Some of which seems to occur in jails, but not all.

 My impression of what’s common now in US jails and prisons is a combination of starvation, sleep deprivation, unsuitable cell conditions, clean beatings, electrical torture (Tasers and stun guns again) and solitary confinement.

 Sexual assault and rape by prison staff is- understudied and more common then people seem to think. Just Detention quotes a 2012 study that found about 10% of inmates were sexually assaulted in custody and half those assaults were carried out by staff. Their source is here, the figure of ‘10%’ is a combination of the prison population, the jail population and the juvenile detention population (as far as I can tell). Rates of victimisation are higher in women’s facilities and are higher against LGBTQ people generally.

 I will leave Just Detention’s explanation of why this is legally torture here.

 The closest thing I have to a report on American prisons and jails in the 1950s is- actually an American report on Soviet torture. It was put together to study the ‘mysterious brainwashing techniques’ the Soviets were using to force confessions. And more or less concluded that it was same tortures American police had been caught using in the 1920s. (This is also covered in Rejali).

 Taking all of this together and applying a bit of educated guesswork this is what I think is likely in an American jail or prison in the 1950s:

Sleep deprivation- using relay interrogation

Starvation

Clean beatings

Solitary confinement

Standing stress positions

Dry choking

Sexual assault

 I’ve not included electrical torture or exhaustion exercises. At some point between the 20s and more recent decades most American prisons and jails seem to have stopped using it, and I can’t tell when that was. Electrical torture was probably used during the 50s, but since I can’t give you any solid information on how it would have been carried out I’d suggest skipping it, unless you can find a survivor account from the time to base your scenes on.

 I included dry choking on the assumption that it continued to be widespread for longer then exhaustion exercises. I couldn’t find definite dates but this is the impression I got from the sources I have. I included sexual assault even though it isn’t discussed in early reports on American torture. I’ve chosen to assume this was because of low reporting rates rather than assume assaults in American prisons/jails began in recent decades.

 Which brings us to the question of who is at risk.

 The short answer is- everyone. When torture is common place in an organisation everyone is at risk and there is no ‘safe’ demographic.

 The slightly longer answer is that in stratified societies those that are judged to be closer to the bottom are more at risk. The poor. Racial and ethnic minorities. Dalits. Religious minorities. The disabled. Sexual and gender minorities.

 When these minorities are portrayed as enemies of the state, especially when there’s a ‘state of emergency’- then the risk increases significantly.

 I’ve got a more detailed discussion here. It’s part of Rejali’s Three Systems which describes the patterns and systems in democracies that can support torture. I’m referring to the Civic Discipline model and the National Security model.

 From what I can tell both were very much in force during the 1950s in America.

 I can’t predict how much that put any individual person at risk though. Torture is under reported, it’s difficult to measure, it’s difficult to prove.

 As an example, there’s a significant death rate associated with Taser use by police. Most victims die from heart attacks. But Tasers don’t typically leave marks and they don’t typically record how many times they’ve been used. Which means it’s almost impossible to distinguish the body of someone who was shocked once and had a weak heart from that of someone who was shocked twenty times in succession.

 There’s an assumption people tend to make: that there is a reason torturers target the people they do. That- someone arrested by the secret police must have been up to something however low down the scale and harmless.

 And this isn’t true. The assumption is- a defence mechanism in a way. If we convince ourselves there was a reason behind the brutality then we can make choices that allow us to avoid being victimised.

 If you’ve read about victim blaming in other contexts you’ll be familiar with the idea. We seem to find it- easier to deal with awful things happening if we convince ourselves they’re not random. This gives us a semblance of control.

 But it is random. Torturers don’t specifically target the guilty. They target anyone they can reach.

 So- if you want your character to be targetted and tortured, being the ‘wrong’ ethnicity is enough. Being in the wrong place is enough.

 Torturers don’t distinguish and they are a risk to everybody in the community.

 I hope that helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

[omgprisonreform-blog]

Reducing Recidivism through Rehabilitation in Portland

COURSE: LEADING TO SOCIAL CHANGE By: Amanda Esquivel, Cait Fellows, Dilla Hanifah, Cole McArthur

Image Link

Problem summary:

Within Multnomah county the three year rate of recidivism from drug possession crimes is currently 55.8%. To compare, the rate of recidivism in Multnomah for any crime is 35%. The state of Oregon defines recidivism as a new felony or misdemeanor conviction within three years of being released from prison. Recidivism is important because it reflects the failings of our justice system. Clearly, if an individual goes through the criminal system and ends up back where they began, then the system isn’t working. Instead of repeating the cycle of incarceration and treating drug abuse as a crime, drug offenses should be treated as “a mental health issue, which cannot be treated through punishment alone” (Pratt). The goal is to increase the efficacy of the justice system by lowering recidivism rates. 

The scope of recidivism that will be covered is focused on rehabilitation in reference to drug use and convictions.  It is reported through the Department of Corrections that 74.5% of all inmates reported drug dependency or some substance abuse.

Recidivism has an enormous financial toll on society. This money and additional resources end up being wasted. Rehabilitation can make the criminal system more efficient with resources because offenders won’t be as likely to re-offend in the future. As expressed through a new report from the Oregon Department of Corrections, it costs $108.26 to house an adult in custody compared to a $11.68 cost of keeping an adult on supervision.

Beyond the cost of recidivism to the state, there is the social toll it enacts. Reincarceration of community members directly affects Portland by placing a financial burden on the community and removing parental figures from a family dynamic. Reincarceration fails to provide adequate rehabilitation to convicts, so the root cause of their offense isn’t addressed. 

Recidivism is detrimental to the whole community, reduces individuals’ quality of life, and wreaks havoc on family dynamics. For example it has negative effects on the family, makes it harder to get an education, and costs more money for the family making their economic struggle harder. Children of incarcerated parents are twice as likely to be convicted of a criminal offense as an adult. A parent committing a crime can create a cycle of incarceration for the family. 

The children of parents who are incarcerated are much more likely to suffer from mental and physical health issues than children of parents who are not incarcerated. For example, 7% of kids without a parent incarcerated have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) or ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) compared to 18% of kids with a parent incarcerated. A similar trend occurs with many health issues such as depression, anxiety, obesity, and epilepsy. Kids with a parent incarcerated also suffer from chronic absence from school and behavior problems at a higher rate. This has many negative effects on the family and society in general. All these physical and mental health issues make it harder for these kids to complete highschool, and it’s been shown that an increased level of education decreases crime. In addition, these families that are usually single income now have to deal with the extra medical bills from these issues, straining their already limited funds even more. This lack of education and money just pushes these kids and their families back towards crime due to lack of other options.

Environment and Context:

To take an honest look at recidivism in Portland, we must look back on the history of incarceration within the United States.  Since before the American Revolution, colonies used to use forms of physical public humiliation to punish people for their sins and crimes. This was done to deter from reoffending. By the 19th Century, because of the Quaker Reform, the country began to see a change in the prison system with a focus of solitary time being implemented to provide prisoners with the chance to repent for their sins. Over time this form of confinement leads to what we are familiar with today, where crimes are met with corresponding lengths of time inside the prison system (James 2019). It was not until the 1930’s through the 1950’s that we began to see heightened interest and focus on rehabilitation and cause of criminal activity. This was the time period that recidivism became an important part of records and growing concern for the Department of Corrections.

In very recent years many programs, ballots, and action plans have been created to attempt to reduce the percentage of recidivism in Oregon and across the United States. Some of these programs that have directly affected Portland are Measure 11, Drug Court Program, Oregon Prison Parenting Program, Mercy Corp Northwest, and Inside Out Classes. Measure 11 is a highly controversial ballot that focuses on harsh mandatory minimum sentencing to reduce the likelihood of violent crime and reoffending. The mandatory minimum sentencing would include both adult and juvenile offenders and remove the ability to enter into rehabilitation programs and try youth as adults. It would also remove the possibility of reduction in prison time due to good behavior. These harsh sentences have shown to have little effect on the reduction of recidivism and in juveniles has shown to “increase recidivism and reduce public safety.” (Oregon Council on Civil Rights 2018)

Other programs have proven much more effective, such as the Drug Court Program and Mercy Corp Northwest, that lean toward more prosocial recovery. Prosocial activities such as Parenting Inside Out Classes, which allows mothers to create bonds with their children, rebuild relationships, and have consistent monthly visits while incarcerated, has had massive reductions in recidivism with participating candidates. Research has shown that, “graduates were 91% less likely than non-graduates to report having engaged in criminal behavior one year after release; they were also 66% less likely to report substance abuse during the same period.” (Wilson 2016)Portland’s STOP Program was the second Drug Court in the nation. Drug Court is a program that provides intensive treatment to those with substance disorders. They lead individuals through a 4-phase program that provides tools to begin a productive way of life and is an alternative to incarceration. Besides lowering the amount of recidivism in the area, Drug Court saves Portland money. By opting into this program Oregon spends $5,927.80 per participant rather than spending over $39,000 per year to incarcerate (Carey 2004).

This video shows how the STOP program has helped those in Multnomah County. Link: https://www.facebook.com/MultCo/videos/1521926071240851/

Mercy Corp Northwest is an organization that helps with successful re-entry of adults in custody to their local community in Portland, Oregon.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Mercy Corps Northwest (@mercycorpsnw) on Apr 3, 2018 at 4:15pm PDT

They help connect people to substance abuse programs, and provide job assistance. They start providing assistance within the walls of institutions and continue to follow offenders when they are released. Once released Mercy Corp provides emotional support as well as assistance in housing, medical care, and mental health. Mercy Corp Northwest states that their, “ LIFE prison reentry program reduces recidivism up to 50%; building resilience and establishing self-sufficiency and economic stability for incarcerated individuals and their families.”

APA Citations:

Carey, S., Finigan, M. (January 2004) A Detailed Cost Analysis in a Mature Drug Court Setting: A Cost-Benefit Evaluation of the Multnomah County Drug Court. Retrieved from https://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/grants/203558.pdf

CJC Research Department Statistical Analysis Center (2019) Recidivism Dashboard. Retrieved from https://www.oregon.gov/CJC/SAC/Pages/Recidivism-dashboard.aspx

McAlister, S., Officer, K., Sanchagrin, K. (November 2019) Oregon Recidivism Analysis. Retrieved from https://www.oregon.gov/cjc/CJC%20Document%20Library/November2019RecidivismReport.pdf

Mercy Corps Northwest (2019) Lifelong Information for Entrepreneurs (LIFE). Retrieved from https://www.mercycorpsnw.org/reentry-transition-center/life

Oregon Department of Corrections (September 2018) Issue Brief. Quick Facts. Retrieved from https://www.oregon.gov/doc/Documents/agency-quick-facts.pdf

Oregon Council on Civil Rights (February 2018) Youth and Measure 11 in Oregon Impacts of Mandatory Minimums. Retrieved from https://media.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/other/Youth%20and%20Measure%2011%20in%20Oregon%20Final%202.pdf

[dbhilluminate]

DBH: Illuminate- “Coffee Break: Broken Nose”

(Chapter art by Optcldrift)

Characters: Detective Gavin Reed, Cameron James, Special Agent Vivienne Lenore Word Count: 3,975

What drives a man to hate the world so much that he would close himself off to it?

Previous Chapter

• Chapter Index • Characters •

-------------

January 2nd, 2020- 7PM

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Gavin stared at the far wall at the other end of his hospital bed and fingered the class ring around his middle finger- not his, but a friend’s, once belonging to someone more important to him than the shitty people that dare called themselves his family. Yeah, that’s right, once. That is until about two days ago.

Cameron was the only person who’d ever truly understood him, and probably the only real friend he ever had. Gavin had just turned seven when they’d met in elementary school, in the fall of 2009. Cam’s dad had just been arrested for the third time that year on domestic dispute charges, and some of their asshole classmates had decided to pick at him for having a deadbeat dad while he was still very raw; but that day he just couldn’t take it anymore, and he lashed out like a cornered animal. That was the first time Reed had really seen him as more than just the wallflower everyone seemed to ignore. Because even while pinned to the ground and outnumbered, Cam fought tooth and nail, through snarling lips and furious eyes that screamed about how even though he was just eight years old at the time, he had already run out of shits to give. And that day, so had Gavin. He’d pulled one of the boys off him and thrown him to the ground, kicked him in the stomach, then dropped to his knees and punched him until his teeth chipped and his lip bled and he cried for teacher’s help because the kid was too chickenshit to finish what he’d started. And it felt good, because that day he’d found his twisted soul mate- one that was every bit the raging bull ready to gore the first jackass to wave a red fucking cape in his face, and one he would have taken on the whole goddamn world with if meant he had a friend to ride or die for by his side. Truth was, deep down, Cam was just as broken, and angry, and fucked up as himself; but, and he came to learn, he was also hopeful, gentle, and courageous, everything he never thought himself to be. And that was why he’d liked him so much.

Cam had been given nothing in his entire life, until he meet Gavin Reed- and as far as he was concerned, from the moment he’d squinted over at him with that toothless, ear-to-ear grin while they sat outside the principal’s office that day awaiting their punishment, he was his white fucking knight. When he realized he rarely ate, Gavin gave him his lunch because he could tough out a little hunger, because he knew he could at least eat later. When he needed money, Reed would hand him his allowance without even asking what it was for. And when the bullies came knocking, he stood by him back to back, better or worse, no matter the cost. Cam didn’t feel he deserved a friend like Reed, but neither did Reed think he deserved a friend like Cam- because no one had ever before loved either of them like a brother, and because no one had ever told them they were worthy of being loved as such.

See, Cam came from a broken home- he was an only child, but his mother was an alcoholic, and his father an abusive asshole who’d been in and out of prison since he was five years old. Cam had gotten his first split lip for mouthing off to him when he was nine, got his first job when he was thirteen just to put food on the table so he wouldn’t starve. He’d wound up in juvenile hall for stealing a car when he was seventeen, because he needed it to get to and from work but couldn’t afford to get his dead one fixed. Even still, in spite of all that he’d spit the blood out of his mouth, look hardship in the eye, give it a big old shit eating grin and say “fuck you, not today.” Cam was a survivor, scrappy and resourceful- never did enough to get into real trouble, but always just enough to keep his head above water.

Reed on the other hand had been born into a family of prodigies, raised by a nanny in the shadows of Fortune 500 parents and siblings whose coattails had always been just too far out of reach. They’d found their true callings before they’d even hit puberty (one now a nationally sought-after defense attorney, the other a Cyberlife engineer), while he was left behind, isolated and aimless: a gifted jock with a bad attitude that couldn’t play nice, that no coach in their right mind would have wanted on their team if not for his talent. Because of it, his relationship with his parents had always been strained, and they’d eventually grown so sick of it they’d threatened to cut him off from their money if he didn’t make something of himself. But Gavin didn’t care, because he wasn’t like them. He didn’t measure success as digits in a bank account or his picture on the cover of TIME magazine- his idea of success was pulling himself up out of the mud after being knocked down time and time again. It was bloody knuckles and black eyes and being able to throw up a strong middle finger in the face of those who claimed he wouldn’t amount to anything. Because his idea of success had been molded in the image of the one person who had always accepted him as he was and stood by his side... Until now. And he had no one to blame but himself.

They’d had a plan to grab everything they could throw into the back of his Chevy Nova and get the hell out of Detroit while the rest of the world celebrated the new year, before their families could even notice they were gone. It was supposed to be their fresh start, their chance at a better life, to escape the abuse and the toxic expectations that they were supposed to be anyone other than who they were: black sheep, troubled kids, the ones “with issues running so deep” adults had labeled them hopeless. The coroner’s report said he’d died on impact, but unfortunately for him Gavin knew that wasn’t true. What had really happened would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he’d take it to his grave to protect Cam’s mother from the truth. It had only taken seconds for their lives to change, but when he realized what was about to happen, Cam had closed his eyes and gripped his hand strong as a vice, and braced for impact. The sedan hit them nearly head-on on the passenger side at eighty-seven miles per hour and pushed the car two hundred feet before they were struck from behind by a truck, which hit them so hard it rolled them twice before the Nova settled onto its side in the middle of the road. When Gavin opened his eyes, he was pinned between the seat and the steel frame of the car, forced to watch as the light faded from Cam’s green eyes as he bled out. In his final moments, as the blood gurgled from between his lips and streamed down his forehead, Cam had cracked a concerned smile and forced out one last sentiment before he passed.

You can still be happy.

Anger bubbled up inside of him, and eighteen-year-old Reed balled his still-good hand into a quivering, white-knuckled fist, twisted his face into a despondent grimace, and choked on his grief. Why would he have said that? How could he have possibly thought that, of all things, that would be what he needed to hear? Not “I forgive you”, not “This isn’t your fault”. He had to have known he was going to blame himself, he had to have known he was going to need his forgiveness. So why that? This absolute load of bullshit… He couldn’t imagine a future where he could be, because no matter where he went, no matter what he did, Cam had always been a part of it. So how the hell was he supposed to move on and be happy without him?

Gavin grimaced as he moved the casted arm off his lap and laid it on the bed beside him. The surgeon who had pieced it back together said it had been crushed by the weight of the vehicle when it had rolled, one of the worst comminuted fractures he’d ever seen: twelve pins and a two plates. He’d be in therapy for the next six months, but “at least he’d gotten away with his life”. Apparently he was “lucky”, at least that was the word they kept throwing around. That’s what they’d said about the gash in his broken nose when they’d pried his head from between a folded-over support beam that had nearly crushed his skull like an overripe watermelon. First responders said he should have been dead, and in all honesty? He wished he was, because at least then he wouldn’t have to live with the guilt of knowing Cam’s death was on his hands because he couldn’t get out of the way fast enough, or his mother crying at his bedside, hysterical, reminding him of how much he’d meant to her son. If he hadn’t lived through the crash, he wouldn’t have had to grin and bear his parents blaming the accident on their attempted runaway, and not the jackass driving on the wrong side of the road. If he were dead he wouldn’t have to continue living without the only person he’d ever been bothered to give a shit about.

Gavin glanced out the window into the night but scowled when he instead saw his sorry reflection staring back at him- his head bandaged, left eye wrapped up beneath an eyepatch, the stitches on his nose still stained with iodine under a wad of gauze. With a scar like that, it was going to be impossible to put this behind him and move on, because he’d be reminded of it every time he looked in the goddamn mirror. He roared out an angry scream into the empty room and flung the dinner tray at the wall with all his residual strength, and wept quietly as the medical staff went about their business outside the glass doors of his room in the intensive care unit. Again he was alone in the world, and he wasn’t at all ready for it.

Following the accident, his parents forced him to get a job and start paying his expenses, in addition to applying to a University and “planning for his future”- a fucking slap in the face if he’d ever been. But because he was out of options he’d done everything they asked so he wouldn’t have to hear their bitching, and kept his cards close to his chest. Gavin took the money they’d given him and paid his tuition in full, separating his self-earned assets until he was fully self-sufficient, and bode his time until he could break out from under their ironclad grip of control. It took longer than he’d wanted, but eight years later, after he’d graduated with his Master’s Degree in Criminal Justice, Gavin severed the ties that had been hanging by a thread for so long. The ensuing blowout was explosive and violent, but he was prepared. For the first time that he remembered his father struck him, but he’d just spit out the blood and laughed in his face- because if he was trying to motivate him to stay, all he had done was drive him further in the opposite direction, as he had done all his life; and if he was trying to scare him, well, Gavin had been through so much worse. He’d threatened to take back everything they’d given him, but Gavin just reminded him the money was already spent. When he threatened to take away his car and stop paying his rent, Reed informed them that his neither of their name were on the pink slip for his car or the lease on his apartment, because he’d already been paying all his expenses for four years. And when he’d finally run out of leverage, Gavin had flipped him a strong middle finger, left them with three strong parting words he’d been waiting all his life to say, and never looked back.

Three weeks later he’d already breezed through a rigorous first week in DCPD’s Police Academy, and shot up to the top of his class without breaking a sweat. During his college years he’d learned just enough about communication to get by in the academy, but friends were another story. There had been a few, but they hadn’t stuck around long once they realized just how much baggage he was dragging. Being stuck in the academy with a bunch of straight-and-narrow Johnny-law types only served to reinforce his desire to remain in complete isolation, with no friends or lovers. Gavin had tried putting himself out there now and again, only to have it backfire in his face after a few weeks (or in some cases, a few days), which had caught him a lot of flack from the hyper-masculine would-be cops in training alongside him, but he just shrugged it off. “What’s the matter, Reed? You gay?” was one they threw around a lot thinking it would get a rise out of him, but were disappointed when they were instead met with apathy and eyes rolled all the way back as far as they could go. Maybe a little, but that wasn’t the reason he’d broken off every relationship he’d had before it had time to mature. Truth was, every time someone found out his family name they were real quick to turn up the charm, and nothing pissed him off quicker than some fake fuck who just wanted to use his father’s name to boost their social status. The Reed name meant jack shit to the family reject, he wasn’t special and he knew it. That’s why he’d done all this -not for the approval of distant, dissatisfied parents, not for the fame, not for the fortune- for himself and for the promise he’d made to uphold Cam’s wish for him, even if he hadn’t understood it at the time. Gavin had followed his own self-made path, just like they’d planned, and he’d done it by keeping fame-chasing, two-dimensional, “background characters” out of his life. But he hadn’t just chased them off because they were shallow as shit (because hell, even the ones that hadn’t cared about where he came from eventually came to grate on his nerves like sandpaper on glass), it was because they couldn’t see the world from his point of view, because none of them had truly understood him- not like Cam. No one ever had. Well, except for Cam.

For the first few months of his career Reed walked to and from work, just daring the city to take a swing, to throw him something - a robbery, a break in, a drunk dude trying to take advantage of a woman outside a bar - anything to scratch the itch of a good fight; but, like many things in life, it didn’t quite turn out how he’d hoped. Gavin never really had been one for religion or sentimentalism, but that night after nearly twenty-seven years of his miserable existence, he found himself believing that wayward souls could return to take care of unfinished business. Any other day Reed wouldn’t have given a second glance to a stray dog snarling at him as he passed, but it wasn’t snarling at him. It had something cornered. It took him all of five seconds to realize that something was a six-month-old kitten -hissing and clawing, furious and frantic- and as he trembled in recognition, instinct set in. A short sprint and one hard swing kicked hard across the dog’s rib cage sent it yelping and whimpering down the alley as he scooped up the animal and cradled it in his arms. To his surprise, tortoiseshell kitten didn’t struggle to escape his embrace, just squinted up at him and slumped into the crook of his arm with a tired sigh as if to say “Finally, I’ve found you”. And for just one night, as he stared into the grateful green eyes of the soul he already knew so well, Gavin believed in life beyond death. Cam had come back to him. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve such a gift, but he didn’t care, because with Cam back in the picture, everything became more tolerable. Coming home to his best friend at the end of a long day and being met with excited meows and a running leap up into his arms made all the bullshit worth it. As the years passed he thought about the accident less and less. With the help of an impressive rate of closure on his cases, Reed continued to climb the ranks at his job and traded the title of Officer for Detective with the minimum experience necessary for the position. It had taken him eighteen years to make good on Cam’s wish for him, and while life wasn’t perfect, he was at least on his way to being happy, and that was all that mattered. For a while.

November 13th, 2038- 10:30AM

Morning came hard after a restless night on the couch, and he ripped open his eyes with a sharp breath to the sound of purring and a prickly weight on his chest. The ginger and brown tortoiseshell cat stretched and contracted his toes as he kneaded at the detective’s neck and drooled into his shirt. Gavin let out a tired sigh and laid his arm over his eyes and clammy forehead to rest his mind for a minute, then reached to scratch the cat’s neck behind its ears. The old boy hunkered down with a happy, fluttery chirp, and he closed his eyes and listened to the soothing vibration. It had been a while since he’d dreamt of the crash- maybe a few months, maybe half a year, he wasn’t entirely sure. The way the days had blurred one into the next over the last five years since he’d become a detective, didn’t lend much help to his awareness of the passage of time. It had been eighteen years now since Cam’s death, and even though it had gotten easier to live without him, it still stung like hell every time he thought about it.

Reed traced his fingertips over the scar across his nose for a moment of deep thought, but cleared it from his mind as he rubbed the hurt from his raccoon-eyes with the heel of the hand on his still-good arm and stretched his legs out long. Cam shifted with a quiet meow and crawled up higher onto his shoulder to nuzzle under his jawline. Gavin let out a painful chuckle as the ten-pound cat crawled over the sling and sputtered a gentle “fuck” under his breath as the pain resurfaced and shot through his shoulder like tearing muscle. He was lucky the reconstructed AR’s the deviants were using only fired nine millimeter rounds and not the standard five-five-six. Smaller bullets meant his shoulder wasn’t nearly as torn up as it could have been, but even with the treatment he’d received to speed up the healing process (stem cells, 3-d printed right in to fill the wound), the pain was still pretty bad. Throbbing when it wasn’t stabbing, aching when it wasn’t burning- until the stem cells fused with the muscle, it was going to be an annoying recovery process.

The morning silence didn’t last long- almost as if he had woken up just to take the call, Viv’s name lit up the screen and triggered the ring.

Get up, get up, get a move on. Get up, get up, what’s takin’ so looooo~ng? Get up, get up, get a move on. Stop stallin’, I’m callin’-

Gavin groaned as he reached for the screaming cell phone in his pocket and lifted it to his ear with a, “Wha’dya want, Viv?” Couldn’t even have ten minutes to himself before getting back to the bullshit. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” she replied with a relieved breath. “How are you feeling today?” Before he answered, he tried lifting his right arm up to the shoulder, but yipped and groaned in her ear before shaking his head with an angry scrunch of his lips. “Not great,” his voice cracked in annoyed reply, at which she sighed and paused before asking. “You sober, at least?” “I’ve been sleepin’ since Connor dropped me off last night,” he assured as he tried to nudge the cat away from brushing its face with the stubble on his chin. “Well, we still have work to do, are you gonna make it today?” she asked as he sat up and pushed the cat off his stomach, ignoring the low growl from the old boy, then fumbled with the lid of the rattling bottle of pills with a shaking hand. “I’ll be fine,” he fibbed, dumping out a pill into the lid as it finally popped off. “I can still shoot straight with my left hand.” He could hear Vivienne chuckling and imagined her shaking her head at his stubbornness. “Well, get up and get dressed. I’ll be over in half an hour to pick you up,” she informed. “Don’ bother, I’ve got a bike,” he mumbled as he balanced the pill on his tongue and reached for the glass of water on the coffee table. “Do you have a death wish, or are you really just as stupid as you look!?” In spite of how indelicately she’d phrased it, the shrill panic still carried in her tone, and he grinned to himself, appreciative of her concern. No one had ever really given him shit for taking unnecessary risks, because nobody would have missed him if he was gone. “No, you stay put. You get on that death trap with your arm in a sling and I swear to God, Reed, I will arrest you.” “Alright, ma. I’ll sit tight,” he quipped back and ended the call with a “See ya,” before she could protest with her angry huffs. The phone dropped onto the sofa beside him and he dragged his hand down his face as he took in a slow, deep breath, then peered between his fingers over at the cat, who was sitting next to him with a judgmental squint.

“Don’t look at me like that Cam, she ain’t so bad,” he explained as if the cat could actually understand what he was saying. When the animal rose and climbed back into his lap, Gavin’s hand reached instinctively to scratch at the back of his neck with a small sigh. She really wasn’t, in fact he’d really grown to like Viv more than he thought he would. Even though their partnership had started off rough, she’d still cared more for his well-being than even his own mother ever had. It was strange to have that kind of support for once, but he’d already noticed how much he’d benefited from her presence in his life. Maybe it was possible to find the family he’d always wished he had... maybe even find love. Reed sputtered our a laugh at the absurdity of the notion in self-defense, but deep down in the scarcely touched recesses of his dark heart he hoped. It wasn’t like he wanted to be a miserable asshole, it was just what the world had forced him to become.

[indefenseofplants]

The Rise and Fall of the Scale Trees

If I had a time machine, the first place I would visit would be the Carboniferous. Spanning from 358.9 to 298.9 million years ago, this was a strange time in Earth’s history. The continents were jumbled together into two great landmasses - Laurasia to the north and Gondwana to the south and the equatorial regions were dominated by humid, tropical swamps. To explore these swamps would be to explore one of the most alien landscapes this world has ever known.

The Carboniferous was the heyday for early land plants. Giant lycopods, ferns, and horsetails formed the backbone of terrestrial ecosystems. By far the most abundant plants during these times were a group of giant, tree-like lycopsids known as the scale trees. Scale trees collectively make up the extinct genus Lepidodendron and despite constantly being compared to modern day club mosses (Lycopodiopsida), experts believe they were more closely related to the quillworts (Isoetopsida).

It is hard to say for sure just how many species of scale tree there were. Early on, each fragmentary fossil was given its own unique taxonomic classification; a branch was considered to be one species while a root fragment was considered to be another and juvenile tree fossils were classified differently than adults. As more complete specimens were unearthed, a better picture of scale tree diversity started to emerge. Today I can find references to anywhere between 4 and 13 named species of scale tree and surely more await discovery. What we can say for sure is that scale tree biology was bizarre.

The name “scale tree” stems from the fossilized remains of their bark, which resembles reptile skin more than it does anything botanical. Fossilized trunk and stem casts are adorned with diamond shaped impressions arranged in rows of ascending spirals. These are not scales, of course, but rather they are leaf scars. In life, scale trees were adorned with long, needle-like leaves, each with a single vein for plumbing. Before the started branching, young trees would have resembled a bushy, green bottle brush.

As scale trees grew, it is likely that they shed their lower leaves, which left behind the characteristic diamond patterns that make their fossils so recognizable. How these plants achieved growth is rather fascinating. Scale tree cambium was unifacial, meaning it only produced cells towards its interior, not in both directions as we see in modern trees. As such, only secondary xylem was produced. Overall, scale trees would not have been very woody plants. Most of the interior of the trunk and stems was comprised of a spongy cortical meristem. Because of this, the structural integrity of the plant relied on the thick outer “bark.” Many paleobotanists believe that this anatomical quirk made scale trees vulnerable to high winds.

Scale trees were anchored into their peaty substrate by rather peculiar roots. Originally described as a separate species, the roots of these trees still retain their species name. Paleobotanists refer to them as “stigmaria” and they were unlike most roots we encounter today. Stigmaria were large, limb-like structures that branched dichotomously in the soil. Each main branch was covered in tiny spots that were also arranged in rows of ascending spirals. At each spot, a rootlet would have grown outward, likely partnering with mycorrhizal fungi in search of water and nutrients.

Eventually scale trees would reach a height in which branching began. Their tree-like canopy was also the result of dichotomous branching of each new stem. Amazingly, the scale tree canopy reached staggering heights. Some specimens have been found that were an estimated 100 ft (30 m) tall! It was once thought that scale trees reached these lofty heights in as little as 10 to 15 years, which is absolutely bonkers to think about. However, more recent estimates have cast doubt on these numbers. The authors of one paper suggest that there is no biological mechanism available that could explain such rapid growth rates, concluding that the life span of a typical scale tree was more likely measured in centuries rather than years.

Regardless of how long it took them to reach such heights, they nonetheless would have been impressive sites. Remarkably, enough of these trees have been preserved in situ that we can actually get a sense for how these swampy habitats would have been structured. Whenever preserved stumps have been found, paleobotanists remark on the density of their stems. Scale trees did not seem to suffer much from overcrowding.

The fact that they spent most of their life as a single, unbranched stem may have allowed for more success in such dense situations. In fact, those that have been lucky enough to explore these fossilized forests often comment on how similar their structure seems compared to modern day cypress swamps. It appears that warm, water-logged conditions present similar selection pressures today as they did 350+ million years ago.

Like all living things, scale trees eventually had to reproduce. From the tips of their dichotomosly branching stems emerged spore-bearing cones. The fact that they emerge from the growing tips of the branches suggests that each scale tree only got one shot at reproduction. Again, analyses of some fossilized scale tree forests suggests that these plants were monocarpic, meaning each plant died after a single reproductive event. In fact, fossilized remains of a scale tree forest in Illinois suggests that mass reproductive events may have been the standard for at least some species. Scale trees would all have established at around the same time, grown up together, and then reproduced and died en masse. Their death would have cleared the way for their developing offspring. What an experience that must have been for any insect flying around these ancient swamps.

Compared to modern day angiosperms, the habits of the various scale trees may seem a bit inefficient. Nonetheless, this was an extremely successful lineage of plants. Scale trees were the dominant players of the warm, humid, equatorial swamps. However, their dominance on the landscape may have actually been their downfall. In fact, scale trees may have helped bring about an ice age that marked the end of the Carboniferous.

You see, while plants were busy experimenting with building ever taller, more complex anatomies using compounds such as cellulose and lignin, the fungal communities of that time had not yet figured out how to digest them. As these trees grew into 100 ft monsters and died, more and more carbon was being tied up in plant tissues that simply weren’t decomposing. This lack of decomposition is why we humans have had so much Carboniferous coal available to us. It also meant that tons of CO2, a potent greenhouse gas, were being pulled out of the atmosphere millennia after millennia.

As atmospheric CO2 levels plummeted and continents continued to shift, the climate was growing more and more seasonal. This was bad news for the scale trees. All evidence suggests that they were not capable of keeping up with the changes that they themselves had a big part in bringing about. By the end of the Carboniferous, Earth had dipped into an ice age. Earth’s new climate regime appeared to be too much for the scale trees to handle and they were driven to extinction. The world they left behind was primed and ready for new players. The Permian would see a whole new set of plants take over the land and would set the stage for even more terrestrial life to explode onto the scene.

It is amazing to think that we owe much of our industrialized society to scale trees whose leaves captured CO2 and turned it into usable carbon so many millions of years ago. It seems oddly fitting that, thanks to us, scale trees are once again changing Earth’s climate. As we continue to pump Carboniferous CO2 into our atmosphere, one must stop to ask themselves which dominant organisms are most at risk from all of this recent climate change?

Photo Credits: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Further Reading: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14]